#ive fought this battle so many times in the past and im tired of it

[agatharioscoven]

I don't trust Disney.

I would not put it past them to have just killed off Kit.

Especially one week after Kit and Jade just admitted to feelings for each other and an almost kiss.

That being said, I am patiently waiting for next week already.

Because Kit can't be dead. She just can't be. I refuse.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

i know that only like 2 other people on this webbed site care about womens volleyball but what is everyones thoughts on vnl so far and olympic predictions 👀

i think china, italy, and japan are gonna qualify through vnls for the olympics. i cant make my mind up between canada and netherlands for the fourth spot, on the one hand canada is ranked slightly higher rn and have played the best ive seen them but also the netherlands match against china was really impressive

i think vnl quarterfinals is gonna be:

thailand - hosting so automatic qualification, theyre my fav team and im happy they get to host the final round but i dont think my girlies are gonna make it past quarterfinals, at least not this year (though their win against dominican republic was great AND they took a set from the usa even if their loss to korea was frustrating, something happened between weeks 1 and 2 and they came out stronger because of it also my girl wipawee is proving me right that this is her year)

brasil - currently ranked 1 and their bench and starters have been lethal. gabi is solid as always nyeme has been making so many great saves. also i love the way the crowds erupt when thaisa comes on court i never get tired of it. i think they can make it to finals if not taking gold

usa - i know they havent been dominating but they seem to still be testing out their younger players, like washington/drews/hancock all havent even played yet- drews aint even on the roster and shes usually a go to player for them. their loss to china sure was something and they lost to brasil for the first time in like 5 years but their week 1 team wasn't their strongest and we knew this, it certainly gave newer players/ their bench some good experiance. excited to see how they match up with poland and turkiye later this week.

poland - lavarini has been great for them also they have wołosz back and stysiak is a monster and i thought genuinely they had a great chance of making it to finals last year if texas ac hadnt sabotoged them

italy - (now that egonu an sylla are back) for sure they can do it also antrapova in their pocket is great and in general despite the stumbling last year their team is doing well this tournament like their win againt turikye was great and that was with their week 1 squad

turkiye - won last year and are in a great position having both karakurt and vargas- (i like their odds better when they use them as subs for eachother more than having karakurt play outside but santarelli obviously knows much much more than me lol) they havent swept as much as i thought they would but they are human. and if they are on their game then theyre unstoppable but 3-1 loss to italy and 3-2 to japan took me by surprise. still would never count them out theyre obviously making it through. excited to see their game against serbia tn

china - silver metalists from last vnl. yall know i love yuan xin yue and want to see her play but also wang yuan yuan has been great this week also zhu ting is back on the roster!!!!!!! as im writing this their ranked 4 so i have a good feeling about them

for the last team idk but it could be:

japan - put some respect on kogas name!! girlie has been fantastic this tournement and winning against turkiye is huge imo and theyre game against brasil was amazing even if they didnt win they fought hard those 5 sets. genuinely i think japan is more primed to win the mental battle of the game i have such high hopes for them

canada - if they can get back to their week 1 play style i wouldnt count them out even tho its unlikely

serbia - usually is an easy prediciton but theyre right now behind korea in the rankings.... but they dont have boscovic back and their squad seems to be pretty young and they fight hard so it can still be them

dominican republic - though they haven't been winning a ton so far they are one of my ult teams i love them dearly and i hope castillo joins them again soon cause she is my favorite libero

i dont really have thoughts on olympics as of now except for my qualification predictions

hoping a single other person wants to talk about this!!

[winewitandwords]

If you hear hoofbeats....

They say that when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras. And that’s something that’s really been on my mind lately- think the norm, not the exception. But what happens when the norm for you is a conditioned response, or a negative self talk and conversation. What happens when you’ve been through so much that those hoofbeats take you right back to where you’ve fought so hard to come back from? What do I mean exactly? Well, earlier today I was talking with a friend that has a similar history of bad decisions and experiences when it comes to the men we chose to let into our lives, and we started discussing how the triggers we have- like the tells weve discovered from our past partners, the lies weve been told, the feelings weve felt, can cause us to have issues in our current relationships or even present as problems in building future relationships. For example, my friend is seeing someone that works away a lot, and while he texts her every morning, and sends her good morning selfies and makes a consistent and honest effort to maintain  contact every day, its hard for her not to think about what he could be doing while hes away from her. Its hard for her not to think the worst each and every time he falls asleep without texting her back or saying goodnight. Is it because hes a bad guy? Is it because she doesn’t trust him, or the foundation for the relationship isn’t there? No, it has nothing to do with him, honestly- he could be the greatest, sweetest, most amazing man, and shed still have those issues.  Its hard for her to establish a positive response, to have that reassuring self conversation that can calm her nerves and ease her mind, because she is so conditioned to the worst case scenario- she hears those hoofbeats and she thinks horses, because that’s what her past experiences have led her to think- when in reality, perhaps she should be thinking zebras, because the fact that its not the norm, is really kind of the whole point, isn’t it?

So how does one re-train themselves to think zebras? How do we undo the incredible amounts of damage that have been inflicted by past partners and experiences? Its not like theres some magical easy button or eraser that can undo where weve been and what weve gone through- and I personally don’t think that erasing it from our history is the answer. I think that to fully change our mindframe, to allow ourselves to step away from the conditioned responses that weve developed in the past, we have to allow ourselves to first fully explore and come to terms with where weve been and what has happened. I think we need to learn how to air our dirty laundry, how to bring the feelings and experiences that weve hidden so deeply away, to  light, and truly examine them- so that we can take away the power that they are still able to hold over us. Easier said than done, right? Well, Im a firm believer in practicing what I preach, and heaven knows, I have a lot of past baggage that still holds power over me. I’ve always felt like I needed to hide the broken pieces of myself, like having gone through some of what Ive been through has made me “damaged goods” and cast me off in a corner of misfits and broken souls.

 Recently however, I have been really focusing on coming back to terms with myself and really working on falling back in love with the person that looks back at me every morning in the mirror. Ive been re-learning the importance of self care and learning how to be at peace with my choices, and experiences, even if some of them have been less than stellar or led to less than healthy places. And I truly believe that an important aspect of that is finally being able to talk about some of the things I’ve gone through- to finally face them and be able to be so completely honest about them- something that hasnt always been easy for me, as I’ve always been that annoyingly stubborn person wth the impossibly high walls and have always been absolutely terrible at letting anyone see the vulnerable, raw and true parts of me. 

Why here? Why now? Why anonymously for the whole world to read? That part is easy to answer. Here- because its safe. Its the world wide web, where no one knows me, no one is looking over my shoulder or down their noses at me- judging where I’ve been or what I’ve done. I mean, go ahead and judge- I fully expect it- how could I not when I still judge myself so harshly over some of these things- all Im saying is in the land of the interwebs, its less scary to open up and face those judgments, as I wont have to face the one issuing them every day in my every day life. Anonymously because I can change names and locations to protect all of the players in some of these stories, including my beautiful baby girl who doesnt need to grow up in the shadow of her mommy’s past transgressions, and my friends and family, who are not always completely innocent, but have also never asked to have their selves raked over the coals in the process of my own journey. As for why now? Because I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting emotional battles that no one understands, over things that no one really knows about or has seen in their entirety. I’m tired of being so emotionally exhausted from trying to hold all my broken pieces in, and hiding the damage that they cause on a daily basis, of telling people “I’m fine” when truthfully, I am so far from fine that its not even funny. I’m tired of feeling guilt and shame over my deepest, darkest secrets, instead of facing them and accepting them as part of what has made me who I am today. And, finally, as far as why am I posting any of this to the world at all? That one is a no brainer for me. I know that I am not the only one that has struggles. I know that I am not the only one that has been through hardships and pain and made bad choices and had to suffer the consequences. I know that there are others out there that are feeling lost and alone and confused and broken- and I know how much I wished that there had just been that one person that understood totally and completely where I was coming from. I want to be that person. I’m hoping that these words may find their way to someone that needs to hear them, that they may bring light to someone thats been stuck in their dark place for far too long. Im hoping that they will inspire courage and hope, as well as entertain and bring laughter- because, folks, if you cant find even the slightest sliver of humor in admist of the darkness, you can trust that me and my big mouth and sarcastic tendencies will find some for you! 

Anxiety and depression, post traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, bipolar- so many more to list, these are all conditions that make things from our past so much harder to face and process, and I have a few of them in the bag. And honestly, were all in this together. So please,  if you feel like following, reading, feeling, pull up a seat and settle on in. I recommend pouring a glass of wine or something of the sort- god knows I’ve probably got a glass going 90% of the time while Im writing, and good wine deserves good company- and hopefully what you feel will be good reading. Thats about all I have for now- stay tuned for the next post... where I’ll really start to delve into the fun stuff, once I decide which pile of dirty laundry to pull out first. I want all you beautiful souls to keep your heads up- youre amazing!

[officialheroesofolympus]

Hero and Villain (Peter Parker x reader) (Part 1)

HeroesOfOlympus: Heyyyy y'all! I cannot believe the amount of followers I have now! This is incredible and thank y'all so much for following me! For those who don’t have an account or read my stories, thank y'all so much for taking your time to read this! Anyway, I love Tom Holland’s portrayal of Spiderman and it’s really refreshing from what Andrew Garfield had to offer. I feel Tom’s personality is kinda closer to Spider-Man’s compared to Andrew, plus the age of Spiderman and Tom is closer. BUT Andrew Garfield is such a good actor. I’m rambling again… Shit. Anyway, this is a series as well… So… Yeah.

Description: You are Peter’s Best Friend and Spiderman’s arch nemesis. Both of you don’t know that the person you’re fighting is your Best Friend until after one of your flirty and vicious fights, you realise Peter has the exact same bruises as the areas where you attacked Spider-Man and vice versa.

Reader Gender: Female

Reader’s Power: Ability to control water

Characters/Ships: Peter Parker x reader

Rating: PG (Might change to PG13 in later parts)

Warnings: Slight coarse language, don’t read if you’re sensitive to the thought/descriptive writing of blood

“Nice to see you again, Spiderboy.” You mocked, controlling the water vapour in the air to condense and form into water droplets, which you then stepped on gently, the water surprisingly able to support your weight.

Slowly commanding the water to bring you down to the ground, you checked Spiderman out. He had a lean build, a fairly muscular body and he was quite tall, lanky if you would call it. His vibrant red and blue suit fitted tightly on his body, making you see every tiny bump on his body.

“Riptide, I told you it’s Spiderman!” He groaned, stuffing his face into his hands jokingly, emphasising on the ‘man’.

You laughed and Peter couldn’t help but think where he had heard that exact same laughter as before. It was melodious and brought a smile to his face under his mask.

“Let’s make this quick. I’ve got a huge Biology test tomorrow and I need to revise my notes.” You grinned, flashing your blinding white teeth to him. 

Your villain costume was a navy blue colour with mermaid like scales on the whole costume, the outlines an ocean blue colour. It was similar to your favourite DC comic villain, Catwoman. It was a tight jumpsuit that showed off your curves and you wore navy blue ankle boots that glistened with a mixture of old and fresh blood.

A mask that covered your nose and the area surrounding your eyes made sure that you were unrecognizable.

Without waiting for Spiderman’s reply, you commanded the water from a nearby stream to attack Spiderman, making him splutter and gasp for air as the water tried to drown him.

Feeling a rising guilt in your chest, you tried to resist listening to that little voice in your head that was telling, begging, you to stop hurting him.

You were the villain, you were the one doing bad things and he was the hero, he didn't deserve to be attacked at just because you were both on different sides.

Your command on the water was dying and before you knew it, Spiderman shot a web right in front of you and he allowed it to pull him.

Once he was near enough, he punched you in the gut and you doubled over in pain. Soon, both of you were in a vigorous battle, each of you ducking, punching and just trying to defeat the other person.

While fighting, both of you provided flirtatious remarks to each other and a recount of what happened earlier that day. When Peter aimed a fist at your gut, you did a backflip, landing a good half a metre away from him.

“Are you Spiderman? Because you're crawling your way up to the top of my heart!” You grinned, Spiderman laughing at your lame pickup line whilst shooting a web at your feet, making you stuck to the ground.

Finally, he landed a hard punch right at your jaw area and you let out a yell of pain, him grimacing and feeling bad for attaining you with so much strength.

“Bye Spiderboy, see you next time...” You muttered whilst blood that shined under the lights trickled down your face from your mouth. Wiping the blood off of your face so that Spiderman wouldn't have any samples of your blood, you left in a flurry of water.

Blowing him a kiss, your eyes twinkled and a smirk graced your features, Spiderman not believing he had hurt you so badly.

The Next Day

“Hey Pete.” You greeted, sitting yourself down opposite of him whilst holding your food tray, wincing when your stomach area hit the table.

There were very visible black circles underneath your eyes and your eyes lacked their usual spark, making Peter worried. For the past few months, you had been more distant, more tired and you missed many classes, especially in the morning.

Suddenly, from the corners of his eyes, he noticed a smudge of something that was purple, blue and black in colour. Narrowing his eyes, he noticed you were folding up your jacket to put against the table and you leaned forward, wincing again.

Without even thinking through what he was going to do next, he leaned forward and touched the area where the colours were and with a gasp, he rubbed the area.

He was met with a horrible sight of the bottom half of your jaw bruised and dried up blood splattered across the dark colours. You had tried your best to put on makeup the cover up the bruise, but why?

Suddenly, the answer came to him and he pulled back, his breathing fast and loud. You looked at him with worry whilst fear danced in your eyes. What excuse could you come up with for the bruise? You could never let Peter know that you were the famous Riptide who stole from banks and fought Spiderman from time to time.

“You... You're Riptide... You fought Spiderman last night, didn't you?” He stuttered, looking at you with wide eyes and a gaping mouth.

Narrowing your eyes, you bit your lip and shot out of your seat, moving closer to Peter so that your faces were inches apart.

“And you're Spiderman, aren't you? Because it certainly didn't come out in the news that Spiderman fought Riptide last night...” You raised your eyebrow, Peter’s eyes widening and he processed the information.

You, his Best Friend since you were both seven years old, his shoulder to cry on when Uncle Ben died, the one who made him laugh everyday, was Riptide, his arch nemesis.

You looked at him, tears forming in your eyes and you willed them to disappear. You felt like crying, going into the corner of a room and letting all your emotions out in tears, but you needed to know if it was true, if Peter really was Spiderman and if he would report you to the police or not be your Friend any more.

“I... I've got to go...” You managed to choke out, your accusation still lingering in the air as you took your bag, rushing out of the cafeteria and you let your tears fall, let your sadness take over you.

Let yourself break even more.

[chrisbowingceoofthesept]

I sit and I remiss over good times and old these Blurred Lines in my mind its overwhelming some times I know I'm crazy but no more lies ive given up on this pointless life if some one reads this I want you to know why growing up being abused haveing to take the role of a man who could hardly understand his role in my life let alone his own wife  falling in love with someone I called my best friend to only find it had an end to meet someone else and she was only pretend I keep fighting this battle have all my life the strange kid who always will be walking the knife to please someone else trying to do whats right my best friend going to jail leaving me I only fail so if I'm gone and some one finds these understand I had a plan I wanted to change the world but when you've lost hope how can you cope  how can you come back when they've all said nope your nobody nothing you had this vision of a better world less corrupt but sadly I guess I just given up im sorry I'm just not strong enough I only want a simmons to my fitz but I dont seem to fit im odd a misfit for some reason I just didnt get it im different its fine it's cool you can leave now like every one else dose I'll just kick back and nurs this new buzz this new found high this guy who despises all the disguises ive worn torn up inside unable to clime out but someone once told me dont get sad get mad have a plan but I got had but in it all im tired ive been called a liar coward and a fool but still fell right through into the dark this deep blue because of..... Forget it it's through I felt like superman at least Clark but even super hero's cant always face the dark let alone a nobody from the start I fought for my heart but it was torn apart to many times I just fell apart fell to the ground not even making a sound I guess I am the clown he would never mess around the joker the toker with a smile I could wair for a while if I brake then they have nothing to take cause I got nothing to give thought I was nice but nice guys finish last so tomorrow say good by to the past mister nice guy gone kiss my ass no more white hat how about a different shade "I'll try black" what do you say it might take me awhile but they'll know my name the fallens back to hack what they've taken away so sit and stay because I'm not going away the dark is where I'll live put me here thats fine cause what gose around comes around watch what I'll give not baleving what I can do let me tell you