#ive done one since like. at least 2020.

[huckleberryblossom]

i feel pretty good about this year! i kept calling this year the urka variety content year, because in past years all i ever drew was my wc ocs, lmfao. im glad to be drawing some new things, it feels good to finally have the inspiration to create for other kinds of fandoms and ocs. (and this doesnt mean im done with wc!! i dont think i ever truly will be, lol)

as always i had one or two months that really only had some unfinished sketches to choose from, and others that were so difficult to choose from (november and july saw Huge bursts of inspiration, in particular)

i started using a new art program in january, and in september i really started getting bored with my art. im used to striving for crisp, steady shapes and lines, and without vectoring i had to find new, tedious workarounds for things that were effortless before, just to achieve a look that i still thought was grainier than i used to be able to get. it just slowly wore on me in ways i wasnt noticing, and in september i was trying to cool off by just coloring some cleaned up sketches. but it took off in october when i started my gog reread, and i finally just let myself be truly messy in the art i made. art is fun again! im painting, doing formal studies, when i draw for myself its quick and easy and im satisfied with the final product.

ill probably go back to that style again, looking back on it now has me realizing that i like the headway i was making with it around june and july. but hopefully what im trying now will propel my art forward in ways that stubbornly sticking with this never would. im excited to see what the next year will bring ! :)

[boyprinzessin]

she's coping

[astranauticus]

a handful of chinese songs that give me big robit energy

translating cpop songs is like my second favourite hobby so it's frankly surprising I haven't made this post sooner

Him - Floruitshow (马 - 福禄寿)

I've talked about this song on here before but this is the 3.7 song for me

the second chorus is definitely MR-SN but i like to think of the first chorus (Let me take a good look at your visage as we count down the time till the curtains’ close. Forgive me for holding back my voice so soon, do you know, in your graceful escape, all I see around me is disaster?) as VR-LA during the flashback sequence

specifically 'all I see around me is disaster' because yeah not wrong

'This time I’m not here to bring you home' just kills me like the please please take care of yourself because I can't be there with you anymore of it all

'Oh spring, oh warm sun, please come sooner, grant him a smooth and safe journey' same point, just the desperate plea for the universe to protect VR-LA because he can't do it himself anymore

How can I make you stay - Floruitshow (我用什么把你留住 - 福禄寿)

(conveniently I have actually done a full translation of this song!)

definitely one of the Maxim songs of all time

"You’ve believed that you can let your life pass in numbness, but [...] why do your tears fall in the moment of letting go?' YEAH because we've seen so many times how Maxim keeps trying to convince himself that he can stop just caring but it never works

'You say don’t fall in love, yet you’re unwilling to let go' same point, this man is in such denial about how he just can't stop caring

specifically the second verse feels a lot like Maxim waiting for VR-LA to return from Tu'narath

'You stay silent, holding onto starlight as you wait through your darkest hour. Your mind is struck, when familiar murmurs pierce your ears once more' aaaAAAAHH

the bridge (?) as a conversation between VR-LA and Maxim, VR-LA inviting Maxim to see the beauty and wonders of the world ('Do you want to see the sea of flowers blooming?', very 4.5 wedding invite honestly) but Maxim's trauma just would not allow him to take that risk ('If none of them come back, then who should I live for?')

fun fact the second version of the bridge in my translation ('You must stay to see the flowers bloom' onwards) is exclusive to that live performance of the song so it's not in the spotify version i linked here. as for which version you think fits Maxim more.. well.

Borrow - Mao Buyi (借 - 毛不易)

finally banging out a translation for this song was kinda the inspiration for me to make this post actually

the tldr of this song is that it's an unnamed/unidentified speaker asking to borrow various small things for the sake of somebody else (like 'an inch of frozen sunlight' to provide warmth in a cold world) so you can probably see where i'm going with this

'A simple ‘we have plenty of time’ etched into the soul to prepare for the chance of forced separation' ouch ow okay

'Those blown apart by these winds will say that they never loved deeply' / 'There is a sincerity that cannot be blown apart by this wind' DX-TR betraying the old crew vs VR-LA fighting through so much just to get them back

'There are tears that cannot be washed away by this rain' this line just haunts me. like in general

'An acre of land for him to call home, an ordinary life for him to live' as MR-SN watching over the old crew like I can't be there for you but I hope you will find peace and a home...

[markatoto]

so i've been curious, feel free not to answer, but the fact you're so insistent upon people not referring to you as a kirby, but you're still a kirby fan, and knowing what your model looked like once upon a time... did you get a c&d and that's why you made a change? i hope i'm not being disrespectful, if i am i'm sorry!

no, there was never any cease and desist from nintendo, but with the way they operate now-a-days, im glad that i had the foresight to change into something that a lil more inspired and original. (well... emphasis on the inspired LOL)

actually, quick lil rant if you'll allow me: i am incredibly insistent to folks very much not referring me/my vtuber directly as a kirby for a reason. i did, at the very least, tried to take the time to make something a lil more original for the art of streaming as a vtuber, but it can certainly be frustrating when folks are constantly saying to me "OH YOURE A KIRBY". i think if people can recognize that its more inspired by the things i enjoy, then that's usually a lil more along my speed. it's, for sure, a lot less frustrating LOL

at the same time, i do have to acknowledge the shortcomings of my own design process at the time - certainly when i made my current design (which was concepted back in december 2020), i did not have the skills necessary for memorable character design. i could have done something that would have made the character a lil more visually distinctive. that's on me and i can absolutely recognize that.

i guess the funny part is that ive got a "V2" design that ive been sitting on for a couple of years now. the unfortunate reality is that, as ive said before, i am just one dude who still needs to stream 5 - 6 times a week to try and make rent. sometimes there just isnt any time to work on the redesign/making a new model/prepping for a total visual overhaul of the streams.

with that being said.... if you wanna know more about how i went about the design process for my character, you should check out this post i made a while back. i think sheds some light on how things worked and, retroactively speaking, didnt work out

and that's it! sorry about all the text. i guess it's just been weighing on my mind for a bit, especially since ive wanted to just rebrand lately no questions or prep about it. maybe one day ill have the bravery

[ornii]

Folie a Deux IV: Jealousy

(I also Made an alternate Cover! Don’t know why)

A college student finally finished their midterm exams and makes their way back to the dorm. First thing they do when they enter is check YouTube and spot the perfect video.

Jenna Ortega and (F/n) (L/n) answer the Webs most searched questions. It plays as the two sit casually together.

“Hello I’m Jenna Ortega.”

“And I’m (F/n) (L/n), and we’re here to Answer the Webs most searched questions about us.”

The video begins as the duo take a board and answer various internet searches. (Y/n) tears off one.

“Is (Y/n)… Blind.” He said, he turns to the camera, staring at it as people try not to laugh.

“…No.” He answers, “It was just a Character I was playing, I’m not actually blind, but what I will say is that acting blind is a lot harder than you think.” He explains, Jenna eyes him as he looks at her.

“Okay so let’s say we’re doing a scene, and I have to listen to you, I can’t look directly at you even though I obviously want to, I have to basically look in your general direction but not directly at you.” He said, she nodded, admitting that makes sense.

“He’s smarter than he looks she says jokingly, the interviewer continues as another question pops up.

“How did.. Jenna Ortega and (F/n) (L/n) meet.” She said, “it was… the Grammys?” She Said and (Y/n) nodded.

“Yeah it was the 2020? I remember they told I was gonna sit next to Orgeta so I thought, “oh it’s probably Brian Orgeta or something.” This was my first Awards show so I was obviously anxious and I had a few things in my brain to say to break the ice, well it didn’t end well. I look to my left and this, beautiful girl just sat down next to me and, you remember the old windows PC’s and that blue screen sound effect they make? That was my brain.” He explains without cracking a single smirk, Jenna pursed her lips, trying not to laugh, also because he said she was beautiful.

“But yeah, ever since that, and us getting casted in Wednesday we’ve been friends ever since.”

“Yeah, Friends.” She mutters.

With the last question, they both tear it off and say in unison. “Are Jenna Ortega and (F/n) (L/n).. dating.” They look to the camera to speak but the video, hilariously and abruptly ends.

“So they cut the video for dramatic effect?” (Y/n) Asks Miss Ortega as he sits at a marble table inside a beautiful kitchen, it was part of a beautiful villa in Tuscany Italy. He asks the girl walking out of the room putting on a pair of gorgeous golden earrings, her hair done so well, adorning a beautiful gold trimmed Princess Line dress. He saw her and much like before, his brain couldn’t fathom her beautiful, he simply stood up and walked to the window, looking out to see the gorgeous countryside and it’s beautiful hills, perfectly matched by the slowly setting sun.

“I really appreciate you coming with me.” He said, “I mean getting invited to some ball was pretty scary.” He explains, Jenna shook her head. “It’s funny to hear that, I’ve been doing this since I was a kid, it’s natural to me.” She explains, walking next to him she also looks out the window. Taking in the slowly setting sun over the beautiful Italian mountainside.

“I could look at this forever.” She said, reveling in the beauty of the moment. (Y/n) nods, his phone suddenly rings, checking it was his manager and he reluctantly answers.

“Hello? Oh, yeah I’m just waiting I— oh, she did?” He said, Jenna turns to him, her interest growing in his conversion.

“That’s, fine? Okay.” He hangs up, and turns to Jenna.

“Apparently Olivia’s going too, so that’s fun.” He said, Jenna was taken aback slightly. Not expecting someone else.

“It’ll be nice to see her at least, cmon we should get going.”

The two were escorted, mostly driven to there. (Y/n) was humming to “Good 4 U”. Jenna, having a taste for music picks up.

“You must really like that song.” She said and (Y/n) nods, “Love it. Actually, I guess the boys version I made was okay, but nothin compares to the original.”

“Boys?” She replied, and (Y/n) reluctantly shows a video, it was a small recap of it all. (Y/n) releasing a version that swaps the protagonists of the song. Not to diss Olivia but to show that breakups are nasty on both ends. Turns out, Olivia loved it, and obviously retweeted it.

“Breakups suck on both ends a lot of times, it’d be like if you and I stopped being friends, we’d both be hurt.” He explains, Jenna sees the look in his eyes, she always found he was always honest, even if it was painful and the look in his Eyes, he would be hurt if they stopped. Jenna reached out, her hand almost grabbing his, until the vehicle stopped, they halted and prepared to make center stage, as the door opened (Y/n) stepped out first, adjusting his suit he then turns to the door and reaches out for Jenna, she smiles, taking his hand and steps out. The duo make their presence known.

Cameras flash and (Y/n) was still a bit novice at this, Jenna took it for the moment to make her power move, her arm wrapped around his and he was surprised but didn’t make any attempt to stop her, the two walk in to the Ball, adores with tapestry and music, it felt like the 1900’s once more, a whimsical prince with a beautiful princess on his arm, this was a fantasy to many, but a dream come true for (Y/n).

It was mostly mingling and talking, the two keeping close to each other. While they weren’t locked arms they were still in yelling distance, mingling and enjoying the ambiance. Staying in the Limelight, but something caught (Y/n) in the corner of his eye, a girl with sleek black hair approaching, in a large silver Ball gown, it was Olivia. She smiled and approached, (Y/n) was caught off guard by another beautiful woman talking to him first!

“(Y/n)?” She asks. (Y/n)s pep picked up and he smiles.

“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you!” He offers a handshake and Olivia kindly shakes it. Yeah we’ve talked on the internet before but, it’s weird in person.

“You come here alone?” (Y/n) asks.

“Yeah, it was nice to not be on tour or stuck making music, good to get out, you?” She replies, (Y/n) looks over.

“No, Jenna’s with me.” He said, Olivia nods in jest, “A nice date night then huh?” She said.

“What? No it’s, she came as a friend, I’m not too good with people.” (Y/n) awkwardly admits. Olivia looks around for a moment, spotting Miss Ortega, who sees the two chatting and, isn’t in the most enjoyable mood. Olivia smiles.

“Hey, Mind if we talk in private? Something I want to run by you.” She asks, (Y/n) casually agrees and Jenna watches the two walk away to a more secluded part of the Ballroom. Her frown was very prominent, and she sulked after, slowly following them. They pass by a pillar To the outside and Jenna has lost their trail, listening to any talking she picks something up, she follows past a pillar and to smaller balcony, she was suddenly stopped as (Y/n) came around the corner. They almost bumped into each other.

“Oh! Sorry!” (Y/n) said, Jenna’s worry faded as she looks around.

“It’s fine, so, what were you up to?” She asked.

“Olivia.” He said at first, “she wants to collaborate on a song, first collab for me!” He said with a giddy smile. Jenna couldn’t help herself with a smile. (Y/n) walks out to the Balcony and Miss Ortega soon follows.

“So, music?” She asked, “Yeah, she’s working on something called.. “Vampire.” Can’t say much more.”

“You aren’t taking any more acting roles, are you?” She said, a hint of sadness on it.

“I don’t know… I’m not really fit for it. I mean I had my first kiss on a Netflix show, am I really made for this?” He says to her, Jenna shrugs off his fears.

“It’s a rough thing at first but… wait, First?” She asks, not fully catching that first part. (Y/n), lacking any awareness nods.

“Yeah, that scene we did after my character did that whole speech and Wednesday had that vision.” He explains, Jenna blinks a few times in disbelief.

“Was I..?” She asks, trailing on. (Y/n) awkwardly nods. “Yeah, you were my first Kiss. So, how did I do?” He admits, for the moment the roles were reversed, Jenna was the dumbfounded fool whose heart skipped a bit. Jenna’s face was perfectly lit by the moonlight which hid her growing blush, she turns to face the party, hiding her smile so much.

“You did… you did fine..” she said, and calmly but confidently walked back to the Ball.

[ja2m0n]

Can I know more about ur mcsm au?? The art and comic drafts are great but I don’t know what the au part of it is… keep it up tho I’m following along!!!

Thank you so much for asking! I'll be covering the overall comic im making and the ideas i have in stored for it. ive been collecting ideas and things that others like for the past couple of years and putting it into this comic, but anyways! 

My MCSM epilogue AU is focused on the aftermath of season 2 and picking it up where it left off with my little twist as well with the fandoms likings of headcannons. In this series, Jesse is still being controlled by the gauntlet dispite it not being under romeos control nor on Jesses hand, the gauntlet has its own thoughts and is being controlled by the idea of adminizing Jesse. Throughout the series, youll be able to see him slowly become into one, there will be betrayal, friendship, and romance (not heavy based)

Using the Radar arc focuses on betrayal and friendship. 

Most of the characters show will be:

Jesse

Petra

Aiden

Romeo

Radar

Stella

it consists of Jesse trying to figure out weither or not he has done the right decision for not convincing Petra to stay at Beacontown. Upset at himself, he beings infuriated, wanting to see Petra to at least "convince" to her. throughout the arc, Jesse slowly turns into an admin without knowing that he is (except for the way he acts). Jesse becomes weary of the people around him and isolated himself, radar being the only source of the outside. not trying to be removed as his intern, he would become angry at anyone who wont follow under Jesse. Jesse opens up to Radar more snd more, talking about Lukas which goes into the second arc

The gauntlet is the source of Jesses admin powers but why is that? The gauntlet never left Jesses side, it remains under his skin, slowly taking him over and making him into an Admin slowly.

provide image here from 2020(?) (will not use)

Who Are You arc focuses on romance (not heavy based) and betrayal 

Most of the characters show will be:

Jesse

Lukas

Radar

Petra

Jack

Romeo

Jesses true nature begins to arise and most catch. of course except for Radar, still loyal and not giving up. Since the isolation, Jesse gets tired and sends an invite to Lukas to help him convince Petra.

Using the Radar arc will take at least this year to finish , or eariler depending how much i can do. so for now i leave you this, the closer we get ro Who Are You arc, the more information ill drop wink wink. Thank you for this question once again!

unused redraw of the first comic panels

poster for the first arc wip

[madohomo]

its my golden bday babyy i am 29 on the 29th today

life updates under the cut!!

i feel like my lifes been going 1000mph for a while now but some notable moments

- i got my masters degree and it was the hardest thing ive ever done honestly i didn't think i was gonna make it but my degree is in applied biosciences!! im v passionate abt a lot of science research so im excited to see where that takes me.

- im a homeowner now !! living w my 3 siblings and splitting a mortgage and its honestly so nice. the house so lovely and ive been through so much roommate hell in the past decade so its been nice to have housing security and ppl i can count on. house is kind of a zoo with so many animals though (2 cats, cockatiel, snake, axolotl, fish & coral) but we make it work

- I'm still working in clinical research as a coordinator on the only NIH funded long covid trial and it's been kind of brutal. not just because of the topic and the study itself being all over the fucking place, but they recently fucked me over financially and now I'm pretty much stuck working there until at least early next year.. but it does feel cool to contribute to such important research that is going to affect millions of people! I've been working on covid studies since summer of 2020 on both treatments and vaccines and now long covid. so I'm pretty burnt out but grateful that I've learned so much about how to protect myself and my loved ones because I'm pretty much the only person I know that still hasn't gotten covid yet. please PLEASE continue to mask, most importantly protect your face holes, and care for each other because everything we know so far is so horrific and we still have very little in terms of treatment options. the future is really looking so grim tbh.

- since October of last year I've been pretty involved in local organizing centered around Palestine. since then and especially during the international call for encampments I've really gotten to know a lot of amazing people who inspire me and remind me that a better world really is possible and we can really fucking build it ourselves. I feel like I've spent a really large portion of my twenties grieving my future because of climate catastrophe and endless war. but for the first time I feel safe and hopeful. I really encourage everyone to connect with your local organizations, meet people and get involved because getting connected and organized is really the only solution to every problem we face and if you're like me and feel existential dread on the daily, this is the best solution.

- and speaking of the friends and comrades we met along the way... I just want to talk about how much I love my friends and the people around me because I would have never made it to 29 without you. I love my local sapphic squad That makes that drained social battery go back to being full. and I love love all my out-of-state friends who continue to talk to me and want to be in my life still despite the distance!! I'm literally flying out tomorrow and seeing East Coast friends I started hanging out with during Homestuck days back in 2013 and now 11 years later. we're still planning shit together.

[wisecrackingeric-2]

hi eric its me ian

do you like pokémon because i’ve heard you like pokémon and i. i really. really like it too. please. i’ve been a fan since i was little and have played at least one game out of each generation please can we talk. i. ough. i need to know your faves regions pokémon characters the like

@eggo-tistical HELLO HELLO HELLO IM SOSOSOSOSOSO SORRY ITS TAKEN ME S O LONG TO ANSWER THIS IVE BEEN BISY ALL DAY BUT I AM CURRENTLY RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES VIBRATING OVER THIS ASK OH MY G O D POKÉMON IS MY SPECIAL INTEREST I LOVE IT SM (I’ll keep all of this under the cut just so I don’t clog up peoples dashboards BDBSBSBSBSH)

OKOKOKOKOK so first things first the region/generation IIIIIIIII was introduced into was Gen 6 aka Kalos (yes I am young HAHSWBWHEH) and oh my G O D I have. SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH NOSTALGIA FOR THAT GEN. I replay X&Y AAAAALLL THE TIME just cuz I love those games S O DAMN MUCH?????? Like the design of the region is so pretty and the Pokémon designed are so unique and the music is so,,,,,, mwuah perfect. Nuzlocke comics also got really big around that time so that’s how I was introduced into Nuzlocking and HOOOOOOOOOO BOYO BOY

I AM A M A S S I V E NUZLOCKER. I LOVE NUZLOCKES SM. THEYRE MY FAVOURITE THINGS EVER if I’m not writing an essay over Luis you can GUARENTEE I’ll be doing a Nuzlocke. I got into them cuz I ADORED the storytelling aspect and all the creative comics but I’ve stuck around cuz I just LOVE the problem solving/mathematics part of them?????? I love all the insane strategies and statistics runners come up with and I can easily just watch multi-hour Nuzlocke runs for days on end

But going back on track kinda but also on the subject of Nuzlockes my absolute FAAAAAAVORITE region/generation is EASILY Gen 4 and Platinum. In 2020 I started my first ever Nuzlocke of Platinum and tk say that singular playthrough impacted my life in a way I can’t even describe would be a MASSIVE understatement. I played it through some REEEEEEEALLY TOUGH TIMES and it was such a consistent constant for me I still go back to that save file and just. Walk around with my Pokémon. And reminisce. It was also just my first ever Pokémon game EVER (if you don’t count Pokémon GO BDBSBSHSH) so I hold it very near and dear to my heart <<<33

My starter was Turtwig and I called him Boba Fett and now Boba Fett the Torterra has stuck with me through every single game I’ve played- I’ve transferred him all the way up to Scarlet & Violet and I love him SO much he unironically means the world to me. Torterras my favourite Pokémon ever I have SO many plushies of it n stuff <<<<<333 if I can find a photo of Boba Fett the Torterra I’ll post it

I also R E A L L Y love gen 5. Like all the designs of the Pokémon are SO COOL and Unova is such a fun region to go through and the STORY?? THE S T O R Y ???????????? I really love how they were kinda aiming for an,,,, older audience with it????? Unova just goes so hard

But I think if I had to nail down my number one favourite Pokémon game EVER right alongside Platinum it would be Legends Arceus. LIKE?????? THE STORY???????????? THE ENVIORMENT????????????? THE MECHANICS??? THE ART STYLE??????? ALL THE LITTLE BACKGROUND NOISES????????? OFS SUCH A GOOD GAME I think right alongside like. Resident evil 4 it’s probably my favourite game of all time it’s so stunning I replay it ALL THE TIME

I’m also semi into shiny hunting!!!!!! I’ve only ever really done it on scarlet and Violet but my favourite shiny hunt I’ve ever done was for shiny Mabostiff aka my other favourite Pokémon alongside Torterra <33 ut was right after my dog had passed away and he looked EXACTLY like Mabostiff except he was golden so I went out of my way to shiny hunt one in his memory <<<<<<33

I also really love competitive Pokémon!!!!!!!!!!! Have I ever actually PLAYED competitively??? No but I can tell you everything there is to know about it!!!!!!!

Uhhhhhhhhhhh what else uhhh,,,,,,, Torterra and Mabostiff are obviously my favourite Pokémon but I have plenty of other faves too. Like Flabebe, Sylveon, Hisuian Decidueye cuz it looks like my irl pet chickens, Meganium, Wingull, Jirachi, Delphox uhhhhhhhhh there’s probably more but my brain is soupy soup BXBSBBSBSJS

But uhhhhhhhh I think that’s it!!!!!!!! Someday I would LOVE to make a long-running Nuzlocke comic based off of my first ever Nuzlocke with Boba Fett the Torterra, and as long as the 3ds doesn’t completely shut down next year I’m planning on doing a Nuzlocke of the OG Red & Blue Games And HOOOOOOOPEFULLY Making lil mini Comics to go along with it if all goes to plan!!!!!!!!!! :DDD

[captainstarburst]

9, 14, and/or 27 for the artists wrapped ask game? :3

9. What's your favorite set of tags/comments you received this year?

oh god thats so hard i need to go scroll through my notifs. probably the person who recently called my animations "smooth and consistent" (love that bc i constantly worry theyre not) or any compliments to my animations in general. really just anyone whos not close friends who takes the time to reblog and say they like my designs or stories or art style it means a lot to me

14. What's one pairing/character/subject/body part/object you want to explore next year?

honestly i hardly ever plan my art like.. a year in advance though sometimes i do plan stuff months in advance but ummmm. id like to draw some of my ocs who dont get much spotlight on here. i also kind of want to find more excuses to draw my Other fursonas or my object furries

27. Biggest surprise while creating art this year?

probably the amount ive done thats animated? i try to animate at least like every 6 months so i dont get too rusty but between personal stuff and trades/commissions ive doneee... like 8 things? maybe theres stuff im missing? which is probably the most ive animated since like 2020. frankly that makes me really happy i love animating its just hard to motivate myself to do it

[cleardishwashers]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🧡

iia ur the best and ilysm! most of these are oceans 11 because thats all ive written in the past three years. live laugh love

the journey and the destination - If it was anyone else, he would be gone the second the job was done. Since it’s Danny, he rolls his eyes and picks up Tess and drives across the country to the New Jersey State Penitentiary.

play with fire - mac and dennis were banging in s5. the end. (iia i think this was for ur birthday LOL hashtag full circle)

your hand grips hand as my eyes shut - 1.3k words of danny ocean having a very subtle hand kink

don’t ever trust a heart you can’t break - Morocco, 1995. Danny knocks back the rest of his scotch— it’s a Macallan, one that tastes like shit, which he’s spent the evening lamenting— and adds a stroke of yellow crayon across his paper as the liquor burns a path down his throat. Hard to be an artistic genius when you’re drunk, but it’s even harder to crack a Glen-Reeder 2050 XR safe in under two minutes. As of tonight, Danny’s done both.

in the eye of a hurricane - "There's a hurricane about to make landfall, Danny." He can already feel the pitter-patter of droplets coming down on his (Armani) suit jacket, can feel the wind hurling sand against his bare skin like a horde of angry mosquitos. His cream suit is going to be stained orange by the end of this. Goddamnit. (let’s pretend this isn’t titled after a hamilton lyric. call it temporary 2020 insanity)

[dreams-in-anthracis]

okay so long story long, i’m supposed to be writing a resignation letter for my job right now cause it’s bad bad like harassment bad. unfortunately, i wrote fanfic instead, and like i know ive never written on this account before but like, hear me out. So firstly it’s for TGM (which im aware is military propaganda basically but also i can’t stop watching it), it’s for Beau/Cyclone (which yeah he’s grumpy and old, and i told myself i’d write Bob first but here we are), it will be 18+ because i can’t help myself and like i gotta mash Beau and reader together like barbies. I’m also playing with the idea of making reader be jake’s sister (not terribly young like she’s in her 30s or late late 20s at the least) idk man

if you know me irl on here, you do not right now just ignore this i beg!

warnings: swearing?, crying?, cigarettes

A cigarette, a god damn cigarette, was all Beau wanted at this very moment and by god despite quitting years ago he was gonna have one. He’s not entirely sure why he even bought the pack but during his drive several hours north, to go to a wedding of someone he didn’t even know, dragged by an old buddy of his who was trying to get him to live a little, he had stopped at a gas station and grabbed a pack anticipating the need. Inside the music of the reception continued to play on, seeping through the windows and doors and onto the empty patio. With the cigarette between his lips he strikes the lighter only to have his peace interrupted as the doors flung open. 

You ran out of the venue in a rage almost, stumbling in the cheap heels you had bought to go with the bridesmaids dress that heavily ate into your budget for the month, with a string of curses you pull your shoes off throwing them over the railing, which you grab white knuckled, hot tears streaming out of your eyes no matter how hard you tried to stop them. unbeknownst to you Beau watched on cigarette forgot in his hand as you leaned over the railing to scream. He clears his throat, thinking it the best way to alert you of his presence, what he doesn’t expect is for you to turn and stare back at him with a tear stained face and nearly yell. 

“fuck off!” your eyes nearly burn into his and for some reason he chooses to not listen and continue to lean against the wall, as you slump to the ground knees to your chest. His feet move without reason as he approaches, when he gets close you lift your head to look at him, he feels something inside him almost move at the way your eyes aren’t ablaze with obvious rage anymore and rather you look properly sad.

“i told you to fuck off” the words creak out of your throat. it takes a moment for you to realise that the hand dangling in front of you is offering you a freshly lit cigarette, without much thought you grab the man’s wrist pulling his whole hand to your mouth, and as lips touch fingers you find the filter and inhale. snatching it with your own hand as you blow smoke. 

“are you gonna be okay” the words almost stumble out of him, and for a moment you’re lost as to why he’d be so in shock when the reality of what you just did sets in.

-anyways back to me, yall be gentle i haven’t done this since 2020

[bytchysylvy]

ART VS ARTIST 2023 + yet another reflection

tw ed recovery

I dont know when I developed an eating disorder since it feels like its always been there, having off and on symptoms in childhood and in my teen years, but it wasnt until about 2017 where I started engaging in complete restriction. For years I've dealt with health problems that my doctors could never figure out the cause of, never looking into my eating habits (in fairness, I wouldn't have been honest at the time). I pseudo-recovered in 2020, where suddenly so many of my problems vanished nearly overnight. But then relapsed very hard in 2022, I spent the next few months basically being dead let alone making art. By january I could barely stand yet was told "we dont have to do anything about it". In feburary after failing to find treatment I decided to recover on my own and gave myself refeeding syndrome, avoiding hospitalization by accidentally misleading the er about the treatment I was receiving (which was none). In march my therapist reached out to an eating disorder clinic and by april I was in treatment. From then until the end of october has been a mix of php and iop treatment, having to take residency in seattle for awhile at one point. I've gone down to regular outpatient, things have gotten rocky again but at least I'm not where I was a year ago and will never be back at square one again.

I was really reluctant to do one of these art vs artist things despite wanting to for awhile now since I gained 50% of my initial body weight since the start of the year and have never been so self conscious about my appearance; I had to change my entire wardrobe, hurts man. But rehimboification gave me my ability to make art back and ive since made too many bangers to pick my top eight from. I did four sets of the cast, 30+ pages of comics, and returned to animation. ACT 1 is in its last third of work, ACT 2 is about a third done. I've picked up sewing (you can see the flag i made in the background) and plan to garden once its the season to do so. Im in an infinitely healthier place now both physically and mentally. My only regret is not getting help sooner and hurting myself this badly in the first place.

I'm thankful for what this year has given me back, but with being in therapy 12-30 hours a week while being in and out of work, I'm tired. I'm glad that this year of my life is over.

[moonrkgk]

i went and counted at like 2/3 rds of the commissions ive posted since the start of the pandemic and there is no wonder why i am so burnt out and tired.

this is only counting most of what i posted publically, not privately and i didnt include all of the ones that i didnt see the names of at a glance to add to a list but-

just since like may of 2020 ive done at least 200-250 commissions. trying to account for things like stream commissions or things i didnt actually post publically or were anon/DNP, that number might be upwards of 300.

Im just saying but like, looking at that, i feel a lot less bad about why my art might be stagnating; quality wise. but it comes full circle when i think about how much debt im still in and that i can barely pay my bills and my mental health has NEVER been worse.

im so exhausted bro lmfao. most industry artists usually take a 30 hr project they break up over 2-3 months. A SINGLE PROJECT. I try to do a 30 hr project in a matter of days and charge 1/10th the price. its not viable.

i dont mean to rant (i totally do) because i still enjoy my job i just wish i could catch a break or smthn. DONT MAKE ME TAP THE CHART.

the chart in question. oopsiesss

[shydaaa]

It's 2024

It's been a while, haven't really interacted with this website in some time. But felt the need to at least come back and continue my New Years reflection that I've done previous years. Looking back I realize the years I skipped were due to COVID, which was certainly my hardest years. I think I will touch upon mainly the good things as I always do. But also speak on some of the grief as well.

Got to see my step-dad and his husband down in Flordia. They got a condo and it’s looking great so far! Jammer is also alive but missing all his silly teeth.

Got to see my dad and his husband for Thanksgiving. I also reconnected with my Aunt.

Got to go to Blizzcon for the first time! Met some WoW celebrities and went with a friend of mine that I also got the opportunity to meet in person.

Met my boyfriend for the first time after 3 years of online dating.

Moved my mom to a one bedroom, she also has a dog now.

Became an officer in a guild Ive grown fond of.

Formally staying with the folks I’ve bonded with ever since I moved in during college. They have become a second family to me.

Helped a friend out of a miserable and toxic relationship.

Playing my first table-top equivalent with a good group of friends.

There might be more, but those are the biggest highlights I can think of for now. I don’t really like to drudge up the bad, the point of these reflections is usually to inspire faith into the next year. But I do want to acknowledge what hardships I braved this year.

My dad and his husband moved away to Flordia, I’m happy for them, but I’ll miss them.

My mom and I’s relationship has continued to break and crumble. This holiday season was incredibly difficult.

Friends I thought were good people turned out to be horrible and lied to me for 7 years. They’d traumatized one of my best friends and I’ll never forgive them for that. Nor did they really care for me as much as I thought they did.

My IBS and stomach issues have worsened. I developed my first ulcer from stress.

Caught COVID this year and had to bail on one of the days I was at Blizzcon.

Things were bad, but they never stayed bad. And for that I’m grateful. And thank you, to all my friends who have stuck it out with me, thru thick and thin. You’ve made this worthwhile, and I couldn’t imagine a life without you.

https://shydaaa.tumblr.com/post/189966348676/its-2020 << Previous

[anxiousgaypanicking]

Restraints

!a series of me uploading the kinktober fics/drabbles i made years ago because i didnt back in 2020 for some fuckin reason. if these are bad/poor quality its because theyre old, and ive improved since then :)!

Remile: (Remy x Emile) Day 11: restraints Warnings: Bondage, edging, handjobs, crying during sex

"Remy," Emile begged, tears streaming down his face. He wanted to move, to touch himself, or to at least close his legs. But Remy had tied his wrists to the headboard and his legs to the post, rendering him practically helpless. Remy laid between his legs, currently sucking and biting Emile's thighs.

Remy ignored Emile, and his aching cock, in favor of leaving more marks.

"Remy, please!"

Still nothing. It seemed like Remy wasn't even hearing him, which was absurd considering how loud Emile was being.

"Remy, please, I've been good! I've been so good, please," Emile cried, more tears flowing down his cheeks. He tugged at the restraints around his wrists, eyes squeezing shut as his thighs tensed, moaning as Remy bit down into one of them.

Remy pulled away, licking his lips, as he stared down at Emile, as if evaluating him.

"Nah. We haven't even been going for that long," Remy says, with a grin, and Emile whimpers.

Remy's been bringing him to the brink of an orgasm, just to let go at the last second, leaning back as Emile's closeness faded. And he'd done it multiple times. Emile didn't know how much more he could handle.

"Please!" Emile tries to beg again, only to gasp when Remy's hand wraps around his cock. Emile tugs on the ropes around his wrists, whining when he feels the burn on his skin, as Remy continues pumping his cock.

"Please don't stop, Remy! Please, please, I need to come so bad!" he pleads, head thrown back in pleasure. As he felt himself getting close, he begs for Remy to keep going, to finally let him come. And Remy obliges, hand never faltering as he brings Emile to his climax. Emile lets out a pathetic cry as he comes, his wrists and ankles tugging against the restraints.

He's babbling "thank you" over and over as Remy works to untie him. He holds Emile close, the ropes now laying against the bed, while Remy gently kisses the lacerations on his wrists.

"Come on babe," Remy says. "Let's get you into the shower."

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

is there a story behind meeting new Mr oatmilk that you want to share w the class?<3 (ps he sounds like a well deserved upgrade)

sure!! so btw he took the photos of me at the cemetery/my current pfp!!

him and i have actually known each other for probably like 6 years or so. when we first met, he was married and we didnt really talk we just had a lot of mutual friends bc we like the same music and go to a lot of the same shows and we would just see each other in passing. he ended up telling me he was intrigued by me bc i had done a photoshoot and my pfp when we met was me holding a butcher knife in a wednesday addams outfit, and he said he knew i had to be an interesting person from that alone. he is quite shy though. we would also see each other places but never really said more than hi to one another. he got divorced in 2020, we talked a little then, but not really. then he dated his now most current ex, more or less bc she basically cornered him into a relationship while he was just getting over his divorce and homegirl needed a place to stay. hes told me he regrets it and said he literally should have kept trying with me bc being shy with me would have been a hell of a lot better than how things worked out for the 2.5 years of abuse she put him through. (his words)

last year we started talking a lot bc he was posting a lot of concerning stuff to his insta private story and so i kind of talked him thru his abusive relationship he was currently in and he mentioned he really needed a close friend. we ended up becoming gym partners for a bit before both our now exs went batshit over it and our friendship as a whole. and we stopped talking for a bit...and then we would talk a little here and there. and we both mutually agreed we were both in shit relationships.

around may, he texted me and told me him and his ex finally broke it off after months of him trying (long story) but he still wanted to at least be my friend again bc he missed me a lot. and i told him i was also dealing with more or less trying to leave my fiance. this is actually around the time i found the flashdrive full of nudes from other women ex mr oatmilk was keeping from me. and i finally left mr oatmilk after he tried to go thru my phone while i was in the shower, which prompted an argument about why it didnt matter who i was friends with bc he couldnt stop entertaining other women and i even pulled out the flashdrive and was like yeah im done.

so me and new mr oatmilk started hanging out more. he would go on walks with me after work. or we would go back to being gym buddies. or we would grab dinner. go to a bookstore. i helped him pick out stuff for his new apartment.

i asked him if he wanted to go see the cure with me at the end of last month and he surprised me by paying for a 2 night hotel stay for us instead of us just driving 2 hrs. and thats also when we went to the cemetery to walk around bc he knew id like it. thats pretty much when we decided we were actually an item.

i helped him move into a new apartment last weekend. and tonight im surprising him with making him dinner. ive pretty much stayed over since he moved in, which is funny bc he got a smaller bed than he would normally get bc he originally told me he didnt wanna feel lonely since it's just him...but he has only spent like one night alone since living there lol.

whats really fucked up tho is his ex is always trying to instigate with me...from doxing me in a bar bathroom, to literally driving by his new place to see if i am there. and shes friends with my ex now too. she's harassed me via text and social media, too. but it's fine, i dont usually engage. which pisses her off.

him and i are happy 🥰 hes honestly lovely.