#ive been working a lot and havent had much time to write

[mutopians]

trying to get better is so hard

[stinkrascal]

dont think i’ll be able to finish editing n begin posting the vlad/brie backstory reprisal by the 31st like i hoped i would 🤒

[orcelito]

I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement

It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao

[pyrriax]

hiii tumblr you guys get a little snippet of a thing that will probably never see the proper light of day (since its an oc project) but it does give a little insight into. lavius elyria (not the persona one)

Their house was always warm, filled with comforts and niceties that they'd earned after spending so long struggling. It wasn't long now, before the world would end. But, it was going to be okay. Mortis would be there, and they could comfort each other through it. Everyone that mattered was pulled inside, dragons corralled into the empty wing of the basement, livestock ushered under cover. Lavius knew, he couldn't save them. They are doomed, have been doomed for a long time. The home he's spent so long building up from the ground, bloodied his hands over, it'll be gone, come morning. But, Mortis will be there, and they'll find each other again. The Gods promised, they'll save their people. Save those who've called this world home. He isn't sure he believes them, he's never been a religious man. But, he'll believe it if it means he doesn't lose Mortis. He'd believe anything if it was for Mortis, always. Always, always, always.

did i write this quickly as part of a larger thing? yup. i was gonna do a web weave based off the transition from s2 to s3 and wanted to have some writing to go along with it but. didnt make that. sooooo...... there's more to it but it's for the notes

oh and also mortis is @specialcontainmentdatabase's character ^_^ these two are fucked up and everybody knows it

[jackalsraised]

sometimes i forget that i have to physically look at my tag

[nozhdyved]

moan - k.k.

contains: nsfw, 18+ 3.9k wc, switch!kurt x switch!reader, onlyfans fem!reader, assplay, gunplay, dacryphilia, sort of dubcon elements i suppose?, stalkerish kurt, choking (minimal), degrading and dirty talk, unprotected p in v sex, recording during sex, please consume carefully!

notes: of couuuuurse this is for my love my light bambi (boom boom boom) uhh i struggled writing this bc i didnt know if i was doing too much or not enough?? but i do hope its good.. i worked very hard. as alwayyys, listen to the song ive linked while reading this, OH and also this is a pt 2 to strict machine but it shouldn't be too confusing if u havent read that :)

taglist: @girliism, @imperishablereverie, @musingsofheaven, @yardofbrunettes, @forgetmenotnympho, @sweetheartfaist, @sweetestfaiszts, @hangels, @cowboyfaists, @jesuistrestriste (adding @pittsick and @222col, my kunkleheads) . click here to be added !

listen while you read

@girliism my place at 6. bring the gun.

You’re watching your phone anxiously as you pace back and forth across your apartment, your quiet padding steps echoing in your ears. You had sent the message nearly three hours ago, along with your address. The two checkmarks that showed the recipient had seen the message popped up nearly a millisecond after you sent it, but there had been no response. When you check the time, it’s five minutes till six.

You weren’t really sure why you had messaged him in the first place– his profile stared back at you, taunting and cruel. KurtsWorld69. You hadn’t seen him in weeks, but you were sure he was still lurking around. Peering in through windows and climbing up the fire escape to watch you while you slept. Taking photos of you from outside your apartment when you least expected it, and mailing you the pictures with dried cum all over them. Commenting on your streams, spamming links to his Twitch account and promoting his Instagram. Fucking irritating– but for some reason, you didn’t block him. You just couldn’t.

After a while of his silent intrusion into your way of living, you’d bitten the bullet. Made your bed, set up a discreet camera in the corner, and sent Kurt your address. And now you’re just waiting, like a prisoner on death row awaiting their slaughter.

It’s two minutes till six when you break out of your reverie, and you peek past the curtains to check the parking lot in front of your apartment. There’s no new cars pulling up or already parked, and you sigh in frustration, running a hand through your hair. He’d better show up. It’s exactly 5:59 when flickering headlights turn into the parking lot, stopping in front of your apartment complex. You close the curtains and check your hair and makeup in your phone camera, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs. You tug down the hem of your top, making sure to leave just a sliver of underboob, just as three knocks sound on your door. Confident and loud, like he isn’t scared of getting caught. You check the time– 6 pm exactly.

You toss your hair back and open the door slowly. There he is. His hair definitely looked less greasy than last time, damp and scented with some sort of tropical shampoo. At least he was trying. His eyes seem to light up at the sight of you, and he leaned forward, as if about to kiss you–

You wrinkle your nose and dodge, opening the door wider. “Come on in,” you say, shutting the door quickly and locking it behind you. He’s taken his shoes off, shuffling around your apartment and taking note of the one door that’s left ajar, leading to your bedroom.

“I like your place,” he comments, acting like he hasn’t been peeking in every night, watching your every movement until you disappear behind closed doors.

You roll your eyes, leading him over to the bedroom. “Please. I’m not fucking stupid.”

“I never said you were,” he feigns innocence, willingly letting you sit him down on the bed. Good. He’s pliant, allowing you to control his body. He’s already hard in his jeans, and you brush over the straining denim lightly, smiling at the way his body stiffens up.

“You know I see you every night, right?” you ask rhetorically, towering over him with your hands on his shoulders. You know he knows. He wants to be caught, with the way he always leaves a window open or drops little notes around your place. Kurt only shrugs in response, a bashful smile on his face.

“Maybe I want you to see me,” he suggests, and you just scoff in response. He looks around the room, narrowing his eyes as he observes. “Where’s the camera? We’re– I mean, you invited me over to collab, right?”

You shake your head, leaning against the dresser. “Not yet. Think of this as a trial run. Y’know, like a chemistry reading,” you lie, watching as his face brightens and he nods eagerly.

“Oh! Okay, okay,” he bobbles his head, beaming. “Hey, what if we take, like, a before and after photo? Then you can tag me on your Instagram story or something, like, confirming our collab–”

Your hand shoots out to grip his shoulder, manicured nails digging into soft fabric. “This is not a fucking collab,” you snarl, watching his pretty brown eyes dilate. “Stop fucking calling it that. I don’t even follow your goddamn Instagram.”

His lips are parted in a silent shock, and he nods dazedly, body still stiff as you withdraw your hand from his shoulder. “...You should follow me,” he meeps out hesitantly, “I post, uh- vlogs, and stuff, it’s all really high quality..”

Kurt quiets down with one sharp look from you, your hands dragging down his neck gently. “Did you bring it?” you ask, a warning tone in your voice. He nods frantically and pulls it out from the waistband of his jeans, slowly sliding it across the bed instead of handing it to you.

You take it with shaking hands, feeling the cool metal press into your hot skin. It’s heavy, and you aren’t exactly sure how to hold it. “Is it loaded?”

Kurt seems to hesitate, before shaking his head slowly. You arch an eyebrow and he caves. “It is,” he says, and you set it down gingerly, like a ticking bomb in your hands.

Your hands reach down to his jeans, watching his face closely when his breathing begins to stutter. You unbutton them, slowly zipping down the fly and massaging him through the fabric. “You hard already?” you ask, knowing full well what the answer was, considering you were palming his cock through the thin layer of cotton.

He nods eagerly, watching with rapt attention as you squeeze his length, fabric darkening with pre-cum as his breathing grows more shallow. “Yeah– Yeah, I am– jus’ for you,” he pants, biting back his whimpers when you slowly pull down his boxers, letting his cock thwack against his stomach.

“What did you think was gonna happen when you showed up?” you ask him, stroking his length and watching it slick up with pre. “That I’d let you fuck me and give you a shoutout on my story?” You lean in close, licking up his neck and tasting his sweat, before leaving a sweet kiss under his ear. “You’re so fucking disgusting. As if I’d ever let you fuck me.” You pull away from his cock and stand up, walking to the side of the room and hearing him whimper.

“Wait, what are y–?” You whip back around at the sound of his trembling voice, the gun now tight in your grip from where you picked it up. It weighs heavy in your hand as you point it across the room at him, watching his face pale.

“Don’t move,” you say, both hands on the gun as you slowly approach him. The floorboards creak under each and every step, and the gun shakes in your hands. “Not. A fucking. Muscle.”

You crawl beside him on the bed with the gun pointed at his face, watching as he slowly lays down at your prompting. “I’m not gonna do anything to you,” he whispers, pupils blown out as he stares into the barrel of the gun. “I wasn’t going to. That wasn’t my pla–”

You shush him with a press of the cold metal to his temple, his eyes darting side to side at the feeling of it pressing into his skin. “On your stomach,” you order, voice hushed. He obeys in that slow, languid pace that seems to have taken over his body, a response to the fear. You tug down his boxers when he’s lying on his stomach with his face in the pillow, gripping a handful of his ass and digging your nails in. “Where’d you get this?” you ask, referring to the gun.

He exhales sharply, whimpering when you dig the gun harsher into his flesh. “From my friend,” he mewls out, before correcting himself. “Well– he’s not my friend, per se. I kinda killed him. With that gun. But he deserved it.” Kurt’s entire body is flushed red, which you can see when you gently peel his shirt off, tossing it aside. To see the man who’d been terrorizing you for the past few weeks down to this level was satisfying, making your core ache with need.

“How many people have you killed with this?” you ask, spreading his cheeks and laying a gentle kiss on the soft skin of his ass, prompting a quiet whimper from him as you keep massaging him.

“I-I dunno– like, m-maybe two or three? I don’t like to use guns th-that much,” he admits, hissing through his teeth when you press your thumb against the rim of his asshole, pressing ever-so-slightly past the ring of muscle. The gun is still in your other hand, pressed firmly to his temple, and you can feel his body shaking with your movements– or maybe just with fear.

You don’t grant him a response, slowly pulling the gun away from his head and sitting your weight down on the back of his legs. You’re slick with anticipation, soaking through your panties and making his calves sticky, the sensation making him shudder. Your hands splay across his back, nails gently brushing against the freckles that span across his skin. “I should have shot you by now,” you whisper, knowing damn well you have no clue how to shoot a gun.

He whimpers when he feels the cold revolver touch his skin, prodding at his ass. “But?” he asks, his voice wavering and pitching up as you press it in deeper, just barely past his rim.

You take note of the way he seems to clench– squeezing around the muzzle, his breathing becoming slow and labored. “But,” you choose to toy with him a bit, not pushing the gun in any further, “I’ve been thinking too much about you.” It’s spoken quietly like the confession of a sin, your voice hushed and delicate. Shards of stained glass that seem to pepper in Kurt’s skin, colors reflecting in the light from the way you speak so gently to him, while defiling him. “Constantly thinking about you,” you add on, drawing a delighted shudder from his body, limp beneath you.

You press the muzzle deeper into his ass, causing his hips to jerk a bit. You place a firm hand on his lower back, nails digging in. “I’m not done talking,” you snap, making him still. The metal of the revolver is heating up ever so slightly, and the plastic grip is slick with your sweat– a combination of anxiety and arousal. The muzzle goes in tantalizingly smooth, pushing past a practically non-existent barricade as you push it a few inches deeper. “I know you’ve been thinking about me too,” you whisper, beginning to slowly grind down onto his calves. “I mean, of course you have. That’s why you’ve been fucking stalking me. Perv.”

Kurt whines at that, and you take note of how his cock seems to twitch when you say that. “I wasn’t st-stalking you,” he stammers, trying to hopelessly defend himself, “I just- You’re s-so pretty, and I really wanted to post you on my story, I can’t- oh, God- please, please, you’re so gorgeous…”

You sharply push the revolver in until the top strap hits his skin, Kurt’s whole body jerking as his hips jump. “Fuck!” he yelps, arching his back and moaning into the pillow as the muzzle bumps against his prostate.

You sneer at his reaction, the slutty arch of his body as he grinds his neglected cock down onto the mattress, and you press the gun in further, just to pull a pathetic whimper from his lips. “You’re disgusting,” you spit at him, wrinkling your nose at how he whines in agreement. “Getting fucked by your own gun. And you like this shit, don’t you?” You thrust the revolver in, and he nods, choking on his own words. “Don’t you?”

“Ye-yeah, ffffuck, I do, I r-really do, shit-!” He’s gripping at the bedsheets like that could save him, mouth parted in a slack ‘O’ as you grind your sensitive clit onto his calf, watching with rapt attention at the way his body jerks and heaves as you fuck him harder.

“Yeah? Fuckin’ slut likes that I could just pull the trigger at any moment?” you taunt, leaning forward to grip one hand tightly around the back of his neck. Your pebbled nipples swoop over his skin under the thin fabric of your top, and he practically sobs, nodding as best as he can with you gripping his neck.

“I do, like it s’much, it’s so good, you’re so good, nngh–!” He’s clenching around the muzzle sporadically, trying to pull away from your grasp and the never-ending pistoning of the revolver in his ass. “Y’gonna make me cum, I’m gonna- gonna cum, fuck, please, I can’t- can’t hold it in–!” Kurt mewls as you ruthlessly thrust the gun past his rim over and over again, slamming into his prostate. Your cunt pulses with heat as you keep grinding on him, your panties completely ruined with how aroused you are at making Kurt fall apart.

“You’re such a pathetic fucking loser–” You have so much more to say, but he’s cumming untouched, choked whines punching out from his chest as he trembles in your grasp. Viscous fluid shoots out underneath him, matting his chest hair and sticking to the sheets. He’s gasping for air as you let go of his neck, whimpering pathetically as you slowly begin to pull the revolver out of him. “Stop fucking whining,” you snap, smacking his ass and prompting a sharp yelp of pain.

He’s still trembling with the aftershocks of his orgasm when you pull the gun out, shiny and slick. You place it to his head, sitting primly next to him while he’s looking absolutely wrecked. “You’re so pretty when you’re desperate,” you murmur quietly, tapping the muzzle against his browbone as your finger tightens around the trigger. “Like a fuckin’ mutt.” You slowly drag the muzzle lower and lower, pressing it against the seam of his lips. 

“Open,” you order, and he obeys easily, plush lips wrapping around the muzzle and taking it into his mouth. His eyes gaze back up at you longingly as he sucks around the barrel, lashes fluttering and eyes damp as he struggles to take the whole length down his throat. “I could just kill you right fucking now,” you mumble, and his eyes seem to widen, either with fear or exhilaration. 

“You couldn’t. You wouldn’t,” he objects, words muffled past the metal of the revolver. His teeth clack against it, eyes glinting. His orgasm seemed to follow with a newfound wave of confidence, and he bites down against the muzzle. “You don’t know how to shoot a gun.”

You glare down at him, pushing the weapon further past his lips and down his throat. “It’s easy, isn’t it?” you say tauntingly, drumming your fingers against the trigger guard. “Just press down, and bam.” The last word is hushed, hissed through your teeth. His hands travel up to squeeze your waist, pushing up your top to trace over your body. It’s surprisingly loving and gentle considering the situation the two of you are in.

Kurt’s calloused hands reach up to squeeze your breasts, tracing over your nipples teasingly as he moans around the gun. One hand pulls away from your soft body to lay across your hand that’s holding the gun, interlocking fingers gently. You pull the gun away from his lips, escaping his mouth with a quiet ‘pop!’.

“That’s where you’re wrong.” His grip grows tighter around your hand, and in a fluid movement, he’s got you pinned facedown on the bed, one knee planted firmly on your back. Your heart rate is quickening as you struggle fruitlessly beneath him, one hand lifting you up by your neck to make eye contact with him. Kurt leans in close, a giddy grin on his face as he places the gun underneath your chin. A clicking mechanism can be heard in the tense silence.

“You had the safety on.”

Chills manifest their way down your spine at his words, the tap of the gun against your neck becoming all the more ominous. His cock is hardening again, pressing firm against your ass and lower back as he ruts against you. Your breathing grows shallow, unable to force words out. It’s like there’s a vice around your neck, ceasing your breathing. Tap. Tap. Tap.

“You’re scared,” he says coolly, rubbing his length against your slick-soaked panties, making you moan quietly at the friction. “There’s no need, baby.” Kurt’s hands knead into your ass, spreading your cheeks and spitting at your pulsing hole. “You know I’d never hurt you.”

He pauses, smiling down at the sight of you, trapped underneath him. The gun presses deeper into your neck, and you whimper as he tenses his fingers around the trigger. “But I will. Because I know you want me to.”

You scream as he suddenly pushes into you, the slick of your pussy making it easy for his cock to breach in, immediately thrusting into you and keeping you pinned down. His weight is fully spread onto your body as he plunges in and out of your syrupy cunt, the revolver pressed firmly under your chin.

“Stupid fucking bitch,” he snickers, tapping the muzzle against your parted lips as you moan. “You really thought you could take me? You just gave me a good fucking orgasm is all,” Kurt moans, reaching one hand down to rub at your clit. “Fuckin’ tight as hell. I didn’t expect that, considering you whore yourself out, huh? Thought you’d be all loose ‘n sloppy, but this–” he punctuates his words with a sharp thrust, groaning at the sensation of your gummy walls squeezing around his dick. “–fuck, this pussy’s fucking s-so tight ‘round me, baby, s’like you were built for me.”

You whimper– at his words, at the fear of having the gun so close to you, at how his cock drags deliciously in your cunt, and how his fingers expertly work your clit. “K-Kurt– please–”

He shushes you, knocking the muzzle of the gun against your head gently. “Sh sh shh, you don’t needa say a word, baby. Just let me– nngh, fuckin’ use this pussy,” Kurt grunts, one hand grabbing the flesh of your ass to propel into you faster. The bedframe knocks into the wall with every thrust, paint chipping off in flakes. “Y’feel like a big girl now, hm? Got to play with my gun and fuck me, now you think you’re on top of the world?” he crows out, laughing in a frenzied fashion. The air is sticky with the smell of sex and sweat, permeating the entire room. It’s obscene, but what’s more obscene are the moans that Kurt manages to push from your throat with each harsh pound he delivers.

“You looked so sexy holding my gun,” Kurt whispers in your ear as he fucks you, moaning as you tighten around his length. “So, so fuckin’ beautiful. My girl holdin’ my gun,” he groans, and you hate how your stomach tightens when he calls you his. 

“I’m not- your fuckin’–haaaah– f-fuck, mmmmh!” Your jaw slackens as he keeps hitting your g-spot with the spongy head of his cock, hard and relentless as he pinches your clit. 

“No?” he feigns innocence, and you can see his fingers tightening around the trigger ever so slightly, causing a shudder of fear to wrack your body. “Well, you’re going to be,” he laughs confidently, smacking your ass and jackhammering into you.

You aren’t sure when the tears began flowing– maybe when the gun was pressed against you, or perhaps they just started, but Kurt wipes them away from your cheek with his thumb, gentle and loving. He kisses your neck, biting at your earlobe and giggling. He’s acting like he’s found a new toy to play with, not threatening someone’s life while fucking them to the end of the earth.

“Awww, baby.” The gentle condescension of his voice paired with the brutal thrusts is enough to make the tears fall faster, and he kisses your cheek gently, moaning into your ear. “You’re so pretty when you cry for me,” he whispers, grinning at the weak keen it draws from you.

You jerk your head back as he flicks your clit, mewling. “Gonna– Kurt, Kurt, ‘m gonna cum, fuck–”

The muzzle of the revolver digs into your chin again, and a broken sob escapes your chest. “Ask for permission,” he hisses, and you nearly break down right then and there, the pressure of the gun against your heated skin and the sensation of his cock pounding you braindead being all too much.

“Please,” you plead, your voice cracking. “Please lemme cum, hhnnnh, I wa-wanna cum on y’r cock, Kurt, lemme cum, please–!”

He groans at that, tossing the gun aside to grip your ass with both hands, pounding into you. “Yeah, bitch. Fuckin’ cum on my dick like the slut you are,” he growls, the roughness of his voice intertwining with the loud squeals and moans that are pulled out of you. Your walls clench around him as your orgasm crashes upon you, screaming so loud you swear your vocal cords burst. He keeps fucking into you, using you to ride out his orgasm as his load shoots inside you. The warmth seeps into your insides, leaving your mind foggy and slow as he pulls out, using the muzzle to push some of his leaking cum back into your fluttering pussy.

Kurt stands up to survey your limp body, nodding in approval at the cockdrunk look in your eyes. “Job well done, don’t you think?” he chuckles, leaning down to kiss your neck gently, brushing your hair back. 

Your mouth is still agape, and he leaves a sloppy kiss on your parted lips. “...You should go,” you manage to say as you catch your breath, thighs still twitching.

He smiles good-naturedly and gives your ass a little pat, scurrying around the room to pick up his strewn-about clothing, wiggling his fingers in a little wave when he’s ready to depart.

“Oh, and just so you know?” You look over at him, leaning against the doorframe with the gun still in his hand, tapping it against the wall gently. He winks at you, running a hand through his hair before he opens the door.

“It was unloaded the whole time.” With his final words, you’re left to stare at his retreating figure. The sound of your apartment door closing echoes through your brain as you lay back down on your back, shuddering.

Once you feel ready enough, you stand up on shaky legs with your stained sheets wrapped around you. Kneeling, you gather the hidden camera you had set up and stumble over to your computer, inserting the USB drive and waiting for the video to load onscreen. You’re still sticky between your thighs, and if you looked down, you were sure you’d see some of Kurt’s cum, trailing down your thighs and dripping onto the floor.

The video loads, and you’re quickly downloading it to your files, navigating to OnlyFans and uploading it to your page.

“Had some fun with props xx”

Your hands tremble as you tag his username, KurtsWorld69, and hit post.

[shsl-simp]

tetro sketches !!

rambling + updates under the cut

okay it had been a WHILE (at least by my standards) since ive posted any art. its not that im not hyperfixated on tetro anymore, just that ive been incredibly busy and burntout from many factors. a lot of my time has been spent roleplaying in a dr server (which im having tons of fun with!) and drawing the chrs from that roleplay. i just really havent had the motivation to do illustrations, write, or work on the hasemura animatic. i hope to get back to my rate of posting soon but i can't guarantee anything. thank you so much to everyone who follows me and has been supporting me :)

[kiritila]

Hiiii!!!

It's been a while since you were alive lol. I just wanted to know if we're going to have any no1sm content anytime soon? (drawings, chapters...) I don't want to pressure you or anything, really (I know how stressful college can be), but I'm really exciteddd

I missed you a lot!!!

hii! yes im so sorry about that lol ive been in a depressive slump and havent been drawing at all. at the start of the year i made the executive decision to go on antidepressants, and i am only starting to come out of the other side of the initial adjustment period.

i have a long post here that you can read for answers concerning no1sms future, but i will do a summarised version here too.

YES i will still be updating no1sm.

NO it will no longer have an upload schedule, and it may be months between chapters. the story has finally come together in my head and i feel like i have moved past my long burnout period.

YES i have been drawing tbem again. im super slowly been getting back into drawing.

I AM INSANELY BUSY i have huge deadlines coming up soon all the way up until july, which is when i am planning on finally focusing some of my free time on writing again. ive just had such a creative boost, ive also been working on merch that i really would like to sell when i move out next year.

i stress all these things a lot but i promise i do not mind being asked when im updating things, my schedule is just so packed that i’ll just update accordingly.

NO1SM’S 3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY IS ALSO APPROACHING IN JULY!!!!! How very exciting. everything i do to celebrate it will be so underwhelming its unreal😭😭😭

thats all from me anywayyyyy keep talking to me!! i miss talking about this fic so much

[choccy-milky]

Status update on the dark relic nsfw comic please ma'am 🙏 my family is dying

ITS DONE!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉...well, the DRAWING part is as of yesterday BAHAHA. now im just adding all the dialogue/speech bubbles/sfx, SO ITS DEFINITELY GONNA BE SOON!! DEFS BY THIS WEEKEND!! ive just been very nitpicky on the font which i cant decide on LMAO and im also nitpicky abt other final touches LOL. i didnt wanna show anymore cuz ive already shown so much but HERES THE FINAL SNEAK PEEK

and speaking of fonts, i normally use handwriting by jeremy paz!

oh man its so random, but i either use the name lumi or clora for everything whenever i play rpgs (baldurs gate 3, dragon age, you name it) and clora originated from rune factory 4 LOL. theres a character named 'clorica' and i really liked that name, it sounds so elegant and fantasy ish, so i eventually just shortened it to clora bahaha. now its my go-to. i like how simple it is but it also sounds unique and works in modern AND fantasy settings, imo

my first and ONLY playthrough was as clora! i originally did try to make myself at the start, but i have short brown hair and straight across bangs, and they didnt have a style that felt 'me', so i went with just making a ravenclaw that i liked, and then gave her my go-to name of clora HAHA. and yea, i built up her and sebs relationship in my head as i was playing, especially with all the running around the castle i did. i just liked to imagine her constantly out of breath and flushed and seb just watching like ....🧍girl chill...

AND SPEAKING OF MY DARK RELIC COMIC/SMUT, my biggest advice for writing smut id say is to have a reasoning behind it, i guess? i focus a lot on their headspace/WHY they're fucking at that moment when i write it LOL instead of just the movements/sex for the sake of sex. in your case, the sexual tension leading up to the first time gives you SO much to work with, since you can just be in his head with how much hes looking forward to it, how much hes savouring it, how he's also nervous but enjoying it and trusting the other person, etc. the thoughts are hotter than the actual deed a lot of the times (which is why when clora and seb did it for the first time it ended up being like, 15k words of just foreplay and build up from sebs perspective LMAOO) so yeah id just try to focus on their emotions and desires if you can! and a lot of the times with consent stuff it CAN feel forced, and you dont even really need your characters to talk about that stuff verbally, at least not too much. you can do it in body language, or just something as simple as 'ill stop if you want'. it doesnt have to be a long therapist-like conversation about consent, which CAN tend to sound a little awkward and unrealistic (esp in the heat of the moment), if thats the problem you're having. HOPE I COULD HELP

also i love this for you and for me. YES GO ON AND MAKE A BUNCH OF CLORA CLONES, I COMMAND IT👉👉👉

and last but not least the most important question. honestly i like plain sweets a lot with no icing/filling. im a slut for shortbread cookies and also just plain glazed donuts. and also custard/portugese/egg tarts, which i also forced clora to like in my fic HAHA. IF YOU HAVENT HAD THEM YOU HAVE TO, THEYRE SO GOOD😩😩💖💖

[brackenfur]

you know for the past like.........i wanna say like two years i havent rly been posting on here ? so i havent rly done a whole lot of life updates or anything like that, but for those that are curious, heres just some of what blaines life has been like for the past year and a half/two yrs:

i have a job at the county library that i actually rly like, ive been there for almost 10 months! its super chill and i actually rly see myself chilling there for awhile

im back in school and have been doing rly well this semester so far (so im full time school - online - + full time at work) and i think im gonna go and study library science?? i actually rly enjoy what librarians do and i like the library. my coworkers r pushing me to strive for a college/university library tho cus they want me to have better perks/a better environment LMAO love 'em

i think a lot of ppl realized this but my dog died in august of last year and its still been rly hard :( like im okay, those who have been following me for years know ive been thru a lot of shit and that i can handle it, but i really miss lucy a lot sometimes. she was almost 17 so it was obviously her time but you're still never actually ready for something like that

ive been reading a lot!!! i actually had to slow down cus i was reading too many books, and now im pacing myself a little bit better so i can do other things in my downtime instead of JUST reading lol. but its been rly good for me creatively!

ive actually been getting back into writing - for now it's just fanfic since i need to get out of my writers block and fanfic is honestly sooo much fun/great practice, but i do have an idea for an original story that im playing w every now and then

im starting to vacation more! im planning more vacations and hanging out more, and forcing myself to get out and do things has been so nice for me mentally

atm thats the best update i can give!! u guys have been seeing me here n there for the past two years but i think thats a good thing, i was too dependent on tumblr (old blaine followers know this well lol) but its rly good for me to get off of the computer/phone and do things, so im glad ive been on here a lil less!

[blackberrybuds]

mini essay about tsutsujio tamemichi & the use of dr. kan's hands as a metaphor for rape

ive been thinking a lot about tsu and kan recently so i wanted to dump some thoughts lol. cw for things involved with their stories like medical trauma and sexual assault and such

i think tsu is a masterclass in writing a metaphorical rape scene. i know that he genuinely faced sexual assault by kan, but i wanna focus on the idea that his heart surgery was a metaphorical rape in and of itself.

for background, during tsu's first year working at KFTI, he got in an altercation with dr. kan that lead to dr. kan beating him so badly he broke four bones, including his pelvis and almost every bone in his arm. we're told that he needed a lot of recovery time, and that during this recovery time, dr. kan pulled him for an experiment that involved performing open heart surgery on him.

we're told that the anaesthesia used was localized and not general, meaning he was awake for the surgery. we're told it was for the expressed purpose of seeing how he would mentally cope with the experience of being awake for something like that. that's the background we're going with. we then see how that affects tsutsujio and how he describes it.

tsu has chronic arrhythmia and heart palpitations. when he gets worked up, his body starts shutting down, which makes him panic and makes the entire thing worse. every day hes having these little spirals where he thinks hes gonna die. this is why he refuses to leave the office and head to OMS - he's afraid that if he does, he'll have an episode that requires kan's intervention, and kan won't be there to save him.

we also see him describe the process in a very specific way: the use of kan's hands.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Actually no im pretty sure nobody here understands me at all because I keep getting stupid fucking advice and critique from people who havent had his hands in their open fucking chest

he says that nobody can understand how he feels because they haven't had kan's hands in their chest. kan's hands are inside his body. his wording here is very important, because it's going to come up again in this thread, and then again further in the future. for now, let's focus on how it comes up in this thread.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like his hands are on my shoulders all the time [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like no matter what I do or where i go his hands are always on my shoulders [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I feel like if i look down im just going to have handprints all over me [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I dont know why he makes me feel like that [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I cant leave because his hands are always on my shoulders and i cant ever be comfortable because his hands are always on my shoulders and nobody cares or questions it because oh its not that big of a deal its just his hands on my shoulders [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] my body feels wrong how the hell am i supposed to just live like that forever i dont want to [434334633/ Dr. Suga] You feel violated. [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Right like i do but like fucking why should i [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] God this is so stupid why do i always sound so stupid [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] I just dont want his fucking hands in my body he fucking hurt me

he describes kan as always having his hands on his shoulders. he describes this as a feeling that's incredibly distressing, and says that nobody questions it because it seems so innocuous - just a hand on his shoulders. suga points out that he feels violated, and tsu agrees, but can't explain why. he then describes the feeling in a much more visceral way - "I just dont want his fucking hands in my body".

the language tsu uses alludes to much more than surgery. this isnt how people describe surgery in a normal context. the idea of someone putting their hands inside of your body holds connotations that feel much more intimate than medical. the descriptions of being covered in handprints corroborate this - he's not talking about medical feelings. he's talking about feelings of having his body violated, feelings that are intimately tied to the idea of sexual assault. this is further emphasized by the presence of his conversation partner - suga.

suga is the absolute picture of sexual violation within staffside. the way suga is described is the picture perfect image of purity. he was young and naive and eager to help. he was almost ethereally beautiful. he was pretty and weak and vulnerable. he was a virgin. the interesting framing device in tetro is that we don't learn any of this until after we've known him for some time. when we're introduced to suga, he's sick and vomiting and exhausted and on the brink of death. we meet him as his story is nearing its climax. only a short while after meeting him, he's put under anaesthesia and raped by dr. kan. this became one of our first central plot points of staffside.

suga's entire arc is about the trauma of sexual assault and how it eventually kills him, for all intents and purposes. we follow him as he's completely devoured by his trauma and his feelings of utter violation. pairing him with tsu in this scene is meant to show the connection between the two. staffside is drawing a comparison between suga's experience and tsu's experience. you're meant to associate them. they both feel horribly violated.

and then we find out that tsutsujio was molested during a medical exam.

it would be easy to take this information and write off the metaphorical rape that was tsu's surgery. it would be easy to dismiss it as no longer important or relevant now that we know tsu was genuinely molested and not just metaphorically assaulted. however, if anything, i think tsu's recount of being molested actually serves to greatly strengthen the connections between his surgery and the idea of rape. let's look again at how he describes the assault.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Again seriously its not that serious its not like what happened to Suga [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Stuff with his hands I guess [416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] Which again is stupid because obviously the Suga thing is worse so please dont get hung up on this like seriously

another mention of kan's hands. he describes his molestation as something that took place with kan's hands.

[416276122/ Dr. Tsutsujio] And it was just one time and it was just with hands like it not like that

his hands again. tsu's focus often comes back to kan's hands. it's the only way he describes his molestation in any capacity. we don't get any details beyond the fact that it was done with kan's hands. kan's hands themselves in this case are portrayed as a weapon of assault. the hands that molested him are the hands he claims to be constantly all over his body and on his shoulders and inside his chest. the connections drawn between the use of kan's hands for sexual assault and the use of kan's hands for tsu's surgery are incredibly clear and further drive home the point of tsu's surgery being used as a metaphor for rape.

let's take a look at other mentions of kan's hands in similar contexts. this is the first time we ever get a mention of kan's hands.

[840070420/ Dr. Tatematsu] Out of curiosity, was it DURING that event that you told her you were getting handsy with her husband? Before? After?

tatematsu uses very specific phrasing to describe the sexual relationship between kan and seki. she refers to kan assaulting him as getting handsy.

[154314147/ Dr. Toranosuke] Hence why I'm reaching out to you two! I'd like to borrow Minase. [796285914/ Dr. Hattori] Me? [840070420/ Dr. Tatematsu] Absolutely out of the question. Keep your grubby hands in your own department.

kan claims to want to "borrow" minase. minase is someone kan has expressed lust for in the past - he's pretty, he's blonde, he's got the same borderline ethereal beauty that kan assigns to suga. when he says he wants to borrow minase, tatematsu tells him to keep his grubby hands in his own department. another mention of kan's hands.

[155402844/ Monomoko] He has other methods as well. Ones you might be familiar with by now. Dr. Kan is at his most content when others are entirely reliant on his hands.

this is one of the more prominent uses of the metaphor of dr. kan's hands. monomoko doesn't just say kan needs people to be entirely reliant on him; she says he needs them to be entirely reliant on his hands. his hands are almost given a sense of being their own character in the way people describe them. consider the people we know are reliant on kan to survive: tsutsujio, seki, suga, genki and zenjaku. if he didn't care for tsu's heart, tsu would die. if he didn't medicate seki, seki would die. if he didn't continue to care for suga through his coma, suga would die. i have no idea what he does for genki, but we've been told that without his support, genki would die as well. if he didn't provide zenjaku with the BMS box, he would die. every single person reliant on kan for survival is someone he has sexually assaulted. tsutsujio is the only one of the four who wasn't outright raped, which is where his surgical metaphor becomes even more prominent. it acts as a rape. it feels like rape. to him, it is rape. and here, we see monomoko describing these four people he has raped as entirely reliant on his hands. its another association between kan's hands and rape.

now, we get into the most blatant evidence for the idea that kans hands represent rape.

WHERE KAN. KAN KAN KAN KAN. i kNOW iT wAs HIM. HE LOOKED AT HER, HE DID. WITH HIS. HIS GROSS HANDS!!! HE DOES THINGS!!! HE DOES THINGS TO THINGS!!! hE. HE TOOk her, I KNOW HE DID. WHERE IS SHE?!?! wHERE IS SHE?!?!?! DID HE - NO!!! no. he WOULDN’T - wOULDN’T HE?!?!??!?!? OH GOD!!!!!!! WHERE SHES COLD!!! SHE’S COLD AND I CAN’T FIND HER!!!!!!! HE HAS HER I KNOW IT!!! I KNoW IT. HE TOUCHES EVERYTHING AND HE RUINS EVERYTHING AND NOW SHE’S GONE. hER FuR. HER fur…soft, soFT, and NOW SHE’S GONE!!!!! SHE’S GONE!!! HE TOOK HER. WHY. WHY. WHY?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!?!! WHERE HES HURTING HER. I KNOW HE IS. hES - hE'S DOING THINGS TO HER!!! THINGS. HE DOES THINGS AND SHE’S GONE AND I CAN’T STOP IT!!!!!!! hIS HANDS. hIS FILTHY HANDS. ON HER!!! ON HER!!! I CAN HEAR HER CRYING. sHE’S CRYING. SHE’S CRYING AND I CAN’T STOP IT!!! OH GOD I CAN’T STOP IT!!! WHERE wHy. why hE DO THIS. Why HE. tOUCH eVERYTHING THATS MINE!!! hE ALWAYS TAKES MY THINGS, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!!!! hIS EYES. HIS EYES WERE LOOKING. ALWAYS LOOKING!!! I CANT. i CAN’T DO THIS. WHERE IS SHE. WHERE IS SHE. WHERE It’s darK. sHE’S nEVER QuiEt. ShE���S never THIS QUIET. He MUFFLED HER, I KNOW HE DID. he DOESNT WANT ME TO HEAR HER CRYING!!!!!!! BUT I CAN. I CAN HEAR HER ANYWAY!!! hE THINKS I CAN’T. BUT I CAN!!!!!!! HE DOESNT WANT HER TO BE MINE!!! BUT SHE’S MINE. MINE!!!!!!! WHERE wHEre IS shE. IS sHE SAFE?!?! IS SHE STILL SAFE???!?!?!? DID I LEAVE HER HERE?!?! WAS IT ME??? DID I DO THIS?!?! no. No. IT WASN’T ME. IT WAS KAN. IT’S ALWAYS KAN. IT’S ALWAYS HIM AND HIS HANDS AND HIS EYES AND HIS SMILE!!! HE TOOK HER. HE TOOK HER AND HE’S RUINING HER!!!!

the maru logs contain an incredibly chilling description of kan's hands used as a metaphor for rape once again. in my mind, this is one of the most nauseating depictions of kan's inflicted trauma in tetro. in the maru logs, we see the jumbled thoughts of nemoto genki depicted as a terminal. throughout the staffside story, we are repeatedly nudged towards the fact that during genki's deterioration, he was raped by kan. it's something that many people seem to understand and that genki himself seems to still carry the pain of even after losing his memory.

here we see genki in a state of extreme distress after dr. kan took away his comfort item as a form of sadistic punishment - a stuffed sheep. sheep and lambs have extremely strong connotations when it comes to symbolism - they're purity, innocence, gentleness and youth. we see that literally ripped away from genki by kan's hands, and genki immediately begins to violently spiral into hysterics.

kan taking the sheep is, in my opinion, a direct metaphor for rape once again. he is literally ripping a symbol of innocence away from genki, and genki reacts accordingly. he completely melts down, insisting that kan is "doing things" to this symbol of his innocence, and that he's ruining her with his gross, filthy hands. "it's always him and his hands". another case of dr. kan's hands being treated as a separate concept to himself. his hands are a weapon, and we see genki completely lose it as kan uses that weapon to rip away his innocence once again. this isn't a connection that the reader needs to force - it's incredibly clear. genki reacts to this as if it was a rape. he cries about violation and filth and ruining. genki seems to go as far as genuinely thinking that kan would violate the sheep itself - directly violating the symbol of his innocence and purity. directly raping his innocence. he reacts with appropriate horror and distress. kan's hands are once again used in this disgusting, violating context.

but kan's hands continue to come up.

Hibari visibly tensed and vocalized his pain throughout the process, but Kan appeared unfazed. He made several inappropriate comments, including, “You should appreciate that I’m being hands-on. Many would leave you to suffer with less care.”

kan describes himself as being hands-on with zenjaku, and says zenjaku should appreciate it. kan has repeatedly stressed a perverse interest in zenjaku and his body up to this point, and would later go on to physically rape him during a moment alone. having this treatment associated with kan being "hands-on" is another glowing example of the metaphor of his hands.

i think tetro is incredibly effective at not only depicting kan's hands themselves as a metaphor for rape and violation, but then also successfully executing an incredibly poignant metaphor for rape in the form of tsutsujio's surgery. kan's hands are rape. by putting them into tsu's body, he violated him and left him with a trauma that tsu describes in an extremely intimate context. anyone affected by kan's hands is violated, because kan's hands represent violation.

im not sure how much more of this we'll get in the future but i just wanted to get my thoughts out - let me know if you see any other interesting examples of this in staffside or let me know if you disagree completely and think im reading way too far into this LMAO. i just wanna hear peoples thoughts

[m3l0diisbl00d]

Hey, it’s me, 👾

While getting rid of the evidence,I had a revelation. What if our yandere gets dommed. I mean hands pined over his head, riding him through his orgasms without giving two shot if he’s overstimulated. Just imagine “I know you can do it. Just give me another one like a good boy~”

I need sleep, and thanks a lot for even reading this request.



👾

You never fail to surprise me, Anon, honestly you took the words right out of my mouth. I missed you pookie bear :) Eidon’s such a pillow princess on the inside, but tries to hide it. Ofc he can dom, he loves it, but the second y/n hears him whimper it’s all over lmao. (Guys get hyped because Umbilical Cord is coming out soon and I really want it to go well, writing Eidon on Aphrodisiac actually made me go a lil feral)

GUYS GUYS IM SORRY I HAVENT POSTED IN A WHILE IVE BEEN SO BUSY :( I MISSED YOU GUYS SO MUCH

EDION IMAGINE:

Mentions of: male yandere character, yan!sub, nsfw descriptions, gn!reader <3 dom!reader

Well, as expected, your adorable little boyfriend Eidon had been teasing you all day long. You could tell when he was pent up from work or stress because it was times like those that he couldn’t get himself away from you. He’d bend himself over just about every surface, and put his hands all over you the second you would cuddle. He had done it before, but this time he was really badgering you, giving you the perfect opportunity to playfully spank his ass. He whines in response. “You’re being very.. bratty today..” you trail off your sentence as you cup his cheek with your hand. “Please?..” he sighs into you, “I have no idea what you’re saying when you don’t use your words. Please what..” He continues to whine, pulling you into him on the bed and wrapping his legs around your waist. You cock an eyebrow, and he finally decides to speak up, whispering right into your ear, “Please use me.. pretty please?”

“Well, since you’ve asked me so politely..” you tease. “Here, come on and kneel right here for me.” you point to an empty spot on the bed. He crawls over and does as you say, so adorable when he complies with your orders. You take a hand and cup his cheek, trailing down his neck and then over his chest before squeezing his thighs, which makes him instinctively spread open his legs. “There’s my pretty boy..” you murmur before grabbing Eidon by his thighs and pulling him down onto the bed, yanking off his belt with a swiftness. “Mh- what are you doing?..” he practically whimpers. “Shhh.. just give me a second.” You tie his hands to the bedpost, placing a hand between his legs where you can feel his hard-on pressing against his pants. “God, look at how fucking needy you are for me… so shameless.” He blushes at your remark, his hips bucking up desperately. “Hey.. easy now..” a smirk spreads across your face as you enjoy the view. He was adorable like this, his lip trembling with his clothes hastily undone and his dark curls covering face. You savor each second greedily, leaning down over him to peck at his cheek, making him turn red.

You straddle on top of him, using one hand to brush the hair out of his face, pressing your hips down to make Eidon wiggle around even more. You pull out his cock, which sprung up with excitement. “So filthy, and all for me.. isn’t that right?” You take your hand and pump him with it, the sounds coming from him were enough to make you cum then and there, but you wanted to milk it for all he was worth, just for the hell of it. “Fuck.. mmh.. your touch feels too good—“ Eidon whines at the light touch of you hand. It was clear he wanted more, but he had to earn it first. You decide to be generous this time around and move faster, tears starting to roll down his pretty rosy cheeks. He tries not make to much noise when you kiss away his tears, but he just can’t help himself. He was on the edge of orgasm, on the verge of just screaming out your name then and there. “Ahh~ fuck y/n.. im gonna—“ with those words, you take your hand away, restricting his orgasm. Sure he whines and starts rolling his hips into nothing, looking for any kind of friction to help him reach his high, but he needed to understand patience. And also? C’mon. Look at that adorable tear-stained face, just so precious. The best was still on its way and yet to come.

You sit yourself down on his weeping dick, and god did he feel good. You expect nothing less from him though. His cock always filled you up so nicely, and the curve was enough to make you drool. It poked and prodded at your plush walls, causing you to moan out lewdly. “How’s that, baby? Do you like your reward for doing so well for me?” You tease, grinding your hips down on him. Eidon always looked so pretty when he arched his back and tried to wriggle his hands, you know damn well he wanted to grab your hips and slam you even harder onto him (bonus points for chubby readers bc that would turn him on even more). “Ahh!~ y/n.. please.. I wanna cum so bad.. I promise I’ll be a good boy for you.. please?” Eidon’s desperate pleas for your permission to cum were music to your ears. “Beg a little more first for me, sweetheart.” You lean to kiss down his chest while you ride him, he was crumbling in your hands. “Please!~ I love you so much.. I need you, I need you so bad— please, please let me..” Hmm.. well after all, he did ask ever so politely.. “Cum. I said cum for me, pretty boy. Awhh.. that’s it. You’re doing such a good job for me, now who’s my good boy, hmm?~” It was all over for him, he felt the knot in his stomach snap as he released a large thick load of his cum inside of you, painting your inside white. You stroke his face with your thumb, still riding him at a relatively speedy pace while he comes down from his high.

“Ah.. I am.. I’m your good boy— ah!~ wait! I can’t take anymore! It feels too— y/n!~” Wait? But you made him feel so good, the way his body shook uncontrollably post orgasm, his erotic screams and pleas, his eyes rolled back even more. Eidon, your pretty boy, all used up underneath you, turned into moaning, sex drunk fool, not expecting for you to keep going. “What’s wrong baby? Feeling used up? Awhh.. It feels like too much? Hold on a little longer, sweetheart.. I know you can handle another round..”

As the night progressed, you just stopped counting the number of times that you both came, but you did feel a little guilty for making him go on for so long, so you made sure to take care of him afterwards, running him a warm bath, giving him sweet praises and kissing him softly. Your precious, subby Eidon.♡

ᵀᵃᵍˢ!

[the-soul-starved]

My very scattered very headcanony thoughts on why I enjoy the woodie Wortox dynamic so much. The quotes might not be exact but they are close enough to the original for now

————————

To me, it’s implied that Wortox got into the main part of the constant when he was young, through the gateway. The uncorrupted skin is always described as a 'fawn' ect so the main role model hes had growing up is Krampus, so he never quite got the all the social etiquette of being in a group, as well as i cant really see krampus as being the best parental figure in terms of morals.

So now hes in this big group, and has to learn what is appropriate and what isnt and its hard. Hes doing fairly well but his upbringing as well as being an interdimensional immortal imp means he just isnt as good at picking up social cues, or knowing what is or isnt appropriate in the moment (His quote for abigail being a pun ect) and now combine this with everyone else in camp, most off all havent really got the patience to deal with him, the way he speaks is confusing (salt lick quote- 'ive been told i dont make a lick of sense!) And his constant pranking and general silliness is easy getting on everyone's nerve. (there are a fair few exceptions, but even with Wickerbottom, who I'd expect to get on fairly well with him, there seems to be some tension (Quote- 'she needs to have some fun!'

Then there is Woodie. Woodie is incredibly laid back and, while he isn't soft, hes knows when he needs to be gentle vs when he needs to be tough. Hes one of the only ones who can kinda see Wortox and go 'woah that's an overexcited kid who needs to let off steam.' So they go out and chop trees and Woodie can show Wortox how to wittle and Wortox can show Woodie how to spar when hes a moose. I think Wortox is the kinda guy who will put 10 times the effort into getting out of a job instead of doing it and that will NOT work on Woodie. You are chopping those trees and chopping them now and while they are doing that, Wortox also bonds with Lucy (leading to his other quotes about her)

There are others Wortox does get along with like Wes and Willow, but i think thats more from them encouraging his tricks and pranks rather then genuinely making an effort to get to know him, they are still buddies but its a lot more surface level. Wickerbottom does make an effort but she doesn't quite understand that just telling him to get his ass in line is just not gonna work, so tensions start to fray a bit there. Woodie i think is bluntly spoken enough to get wortox to open up about a few things and they are also ungulate buddies. I also think that Wortox is an incredibly nervous creature, which tends to express as him seeming overexcited and silly, so having an incredibly stolid, stubborn guy like Woodie around helps with that as well. He longs for companionship but doesn't quite think he deserves it so he isolates himself from getting to invested but this funny moose guy wants some help gathering supplies so lets go help with that.

Overall the best way i can describe it is a rebellious young adult who everyone writes off as wild and a troublemaker and his one uncle who can actually see how troubled this guy is and so makes a genuine effort to understand and help that isnt just blindy encouraging his games

[kindred-spirit-93]

helloo who is your favourite character in epic the musical

hi anon!! polites my beloved darling pancake bespectacled loml <3

good lord i just realised ive never had the chance to really go insane about how much i love him and how i interpret his character & the headcanons and lore i have for him bc of studies and exams. but now that im free..... muehehehe >:3

--

AIGHT SO my first biggest and most prominent and by far the dearest headcanon to my heart (which is literally canon atp lol) is him being a medic! my bias for medical/ healthcare centric characters is showing lmao. sue me

as a medical student theres so much you learn about life and death both literally and metaphorically while studying. so many disciplines intersect with one another to create the art of healing, and albeit different from what is studied today, civilisations past had all sorts of fascinating ideas and concepts and cures and protocols when it came to health and wellness, ancient greece was no different!

to me he learnt all about medicine by shadowing the palace physician, possibly even being his apprentice, and benefiting from the royal library. courtesy of prince odysseus lol

(the lore i have isnt solid and still needs to be worked on, like for the oc twin sister i gave him hes the medic and shes the apothecary, but for epic purposes he serves as both lol. and is a childhood friend of ody and natives of ithaca. anyway)

and during troy he manages the medical tent and oversees it, leaving little time for actual soldier-ing, but dont let his kind smile and soft hands fool you, he can and will deck you before you can say suture.

--

something i see a lot of in the fandom with his philosophy of open arms is equating him to a smol bean whos too pure for this world and avoided fighting bc it made him sad uwu. and while he is indeed the most cinammon roll to exist i couldnt disagree more;

my mans lived through a decade of war u can bet his headband he slayed, literally and metaphorically, on the battlefield like it was nobodies business *snort*. he too has got blood on his hands and it isnt necessarily from patching up wounds.

if theres one thing medicine teaches you its both the beauty and tragedy that is life (and to me the wonder of creation); to know and understand deeply how imbalance affects the body and leads to illness isnt easy, studies have been shown that those in healthcare experience the pain of their patients.

being in charge of the livlihood of others can be extremely draining, bedside manner and taking the patients psychology into account are crucial and factor into the healing process. being a medic is no simple feat and needs a lot of resilience and healthy coping mechanisms to avoid burn out and a myriad of long term problems.

anyway all this to say if anyone dares to say polites is weak or innocent i will disembowel them with a rusty spoon. i havent reached my clinical years yet and im already done with everyhting. i can write volumes abt this honestly but this is getting long enough already lol

--

back to post troy when polites tells odysseus to take it easy "do yourself a service, and try to relax, my friend", in my heart of hearts the way i see this is as polites recognising how much damage ody has been dealt during the war, being hypervigilant and ready for combat at all times takes its toll on you and he sees that; "look at how you grip your sword, enough said", right after he advises him to extend trust and start with kindness.

the reason being the outside world isnt a battle field and he (along with the entire army ofc) needs to ease into society and life beyond war. now polites being a medic one of the things he exercises is compartmentalisation (which u need to stay sane. source: me) and this is what he teaches ody. "here we have a chance for some adjustment"

life is indeed amazing when you learn to greet it with an open heart and mind, and even tho we all know the fates are much less benevolent, i fully believe its still an important mentality to embrace and in many ways a skill to hone.

"id like to show my friend that kindness is brave" this is conjecture on my part but i like to think polites is reaffirming to ody that kindness isnt a weakness but a strength, again not out of naivety but of wisdom and experience, that doing good is more rewarding than not, but esp this next bit:

"i see in your face, there is so much guilt inside your heart so why not replace it and light up the world?" i will cry if i think about this too hard, but in essence poli has diagnosed so to speak ody and its has prescribed and walked him through a regimen of compassion and leading with peace.

odysseus has masterminded a decade long war, where he had to use trickery and guile and lies and strategy to win and make his way back home. ig its up to you how u want to see how odysseus deals with the pain and trauma of war and the suffering hes played a part in (if were sticking with epic we know fs that his actions haunt his days as seen throughout the musical esp via repeating motifs) and its taken its toll and polites bless him is guiding his friend through his grief, a grief he is no stranger to. ofc hes skeptical at first "thats what wed get with pen arms" but follows through with the philosophy and the rest is history lol

in all honesty i have no idea how much mental health and the psyche featured in the epics nor to what extent it was studied in ancient greece from a medical point of view but this is my interpretation i can do whatever i want let me have this pls :')

--

AND THEN we get to the ithaca saga when le suitor proposes to ody to have open arms instead, lots of posts circulated abt polites passing out in the underworld bc of the violence and generally disagreeing with odys iconic "no." and to those people im shaking u by the shoulders and begging u to understand that polites is wearing war paint and the stupid foam finger with #1 monster scribbled on it and probably deafening tiresias as he watches the carnage.

his philosophy has been disgraced and used as a last ditch effort at saving his own neck (you cant convince me he was being serious lol, pretty sure he was trying to buy time bc aint no way 10 years of desecrating ur kings palace and hes going to let yall go just like that? nah son) of course hes losing his shit and yelling at ody to beat their asses and make them pay for plotting against tele and penelope.

--

anyway yes hes my bean i adore him hes just like me frfr i look forward to writing for him (and maybe polibia hehe) in the future :3 tysm to anyone reading this far lmao.

@howmanyholesinswisscheese its ya boi :]

[poshbiscuit]

Ok, I have two questions for you

1.- What is your process for writing? Like, how do you plan out a story in the long term?

2.- How the fuck did you improve so much in so little time?? Ive been a fan of yours for some time and istg, CRaawloTT and ABCs and 123s are years light apart in quality!! And they were posted just with a months difference, like what??? Did you sign a deal with the devil?? Tell me your secret, ive been writing since 2022 and i havent improved a lot😭😭

Warning: This is going to be a ramble 😭

First of all, I want to say thank you for the ask and for reading my fics!! I really appreciate it :)

Now, for your questions:

1. I am someone who needs everything to be picture perfect before I even begin to think about writing the fic. So, I’ll come up with the vague concept first. Most of my WIPs don’t get past this point lol. But if they do, then I explore the idea a bit more. Make the concept more than just a sentence or two. Think about other things that could link and come into play. Think about how this concept COULD potentially be fleshed out into a story. Just get a word document, or a Google Doc, and just dump. Dump every single idea in your head, don’t overthink it. If you still like it after that, and you still have inspiration and passion for it, then start a rough outline. Now, an “outline” is subjective. Like I said, I’m an extreme perfectionist. Therefore, I’m not happy to start writing before I have every single moment of the entire story planned out. I have a Google Doc for “Yours, Veronica” which has a summary of everything that happens in every single chapter. It’s nearly 200 pages long. You do not need to go this crazy! 😭😭😭 This is just my personal preference. So I write an outline for the story. I go back and read it. I change it. I add more. I read it again. I research things to make sure there are no historical inaccuracies. I add more. I keep on redrafting it and adding to it and changing it until I am 100% satisfied. For “Yours, Veronica” this took me a few years. Again, you don’t need to be this particular about it, it’s entirely up to you. You don’t even need an outline! Write how you want to write. This is my personal planning system, and it’s what works for me. I like having a strict and thorough outline to refer back to when writing the chapters.

Okay, for your second question, I’m going to waffle a bit, so bear with me! And I do want to preface by making it very clear that I am not a professional writer. Like… at all. I don’t really know what I’m talking about! So take it all with a pinch of salt :)

I do want to say thank you. I can’t believe you’ve been around for so long! That’s incredibly sweet, and I appreciate you so so so much.

In terms of progress, I have a lot of thoughts about this.

I think a big reason why there is such a difference between CRaawloTT and ABCs is because CRaawloTT was so unfathomably bad. It was immature, there was no effort, no planning, no spellcheck, it was written rapidly and badly, and it was (objectively) stupid. I was young when I wrote it, and I had never properly written a story before. So my point is that CRaawloTT was such utter trash that literally anything would be better than it, which is why ABCs seems a lot better. I still don’t love ABCs and I still don’t think it’s very good in hindsight but oh my god it’s SO much better than CRaawloTT. The thing is, it’s pretty easy to be better than CRaawloTT.

Another thing that I do want to point out is that I was very young when I wrote my very first fic. Even though ABCs wasn’t that long after, when you are young your maturity rapidly grows and each year you’re like a new person. If that makes sense? So, I would say that I was really young when I wrote CRaawloTT (and it shows) and I was less young when I wrote ABCs (and it shows). I think even the end of CRawloTT has a pretty big difference to the start. But really, it is effort that is the main point. During those few months between the stories, I worked a lot on the new story and therefore was improving, and also was automatically making a better story. I was just doing at least the bare minimum, which I hadn’t done before.

I mean, even now I go back and I look at The Prom Bet (which is a ton better than ABCs) and I cringe because it’s so frustrating and immature and there’s a lot of contrivances. You have improved and you will improve. I’ve been doing this for nearly 6 years now and I know you may not feel like you’ve made progress but you have. We are all our own biggest critics. But if you want to keep on improving until you notice it, then all you can do with writing is just keep doing it and you will get better. It’s experience, that’s all it is.

I’d say a big tip is trying new challenges and getting out of your comfort zone and testing yourself. With ABCs, the difference was I started implementing things like minimum chapter word count goals and that made a huge difference. From CRaawloTT chapters that were rushed and less than 1000 words to ABCs which had chapters that were a minimum of 3000 to 5000. Another thing was doing an outline, like I mentioned before. CRaawloTT had no outline and I had no idea where it was going. I would randomly open a word document and decide “Uh okay, chapter 7? I guess… this can happen?”. The impact that makes on the quality of your story is huge because you’ve got a story there. It’s not guessing games, and spur of the moment incoherent babble. Of course there’s spellchecker too. Listen, ABCs still has a lot of spelling errors because I was still a bit lazy 😭 but it’s better. And that’s the progress that you’re talking about. Such basic tools that I just didn’t implement at first. So don’t beat yourself up! What I’m trying to say is that you probably started at a much higher level, with much more effort, passion and consideration. So, of course your progress isn’t going to seem as dramatic!

So really, it wasn’t like I went from “good” to “amazing”, you know? I went from “really really abysmal” to “not as bad”, which seems like a huge jump but it’s not. It’s just a big difference in quality, because the first one has such a lack of quality that anything feels like a big jump. I think you need to give yourself more credit.

Finally, and perhaps the most important point of all, is that I didn’t love doing CRaawloTT, and that shows in the writing. You can put hours of effort in, you can have all the talent in the world, you can use every technique in the book. If you don’t like what you’re writing, it’s going to be so clearly. I loved writing, I loved being part of the Heathers fandom, but I didn’t like CRaawloTT itself. I had no passion for it. I had passion for ABCs. I enjoyed writing it. I enjoyed the story (at the time). I was excited for it. That’s such a huge difference. Just like how I feel even more excitement for Yours, Veronica.

so TL;DR:

The reasons for the improvement from my first fic to second fic are that my first fic was just so awful, I implemented very basic writing and planning methods, and also I was very young when doing my first fic.

I’m sure you have improved, even if you don’t see it. Just continuously writing and gaining practice and experience is the best you can do

Implement challenges and goals if you haven’t already. Set a higher minimum word count for your chapters in order to improve pacing, for example. Write an outline, if that’s what helps you, so you don’t go off-track. Try a new style of writing that you’ve seen before that you like.

I am so terribly sorry for this completely unnecessary babble. I got a bit passionate there! I really really loved this ask and I really loved talking about this stuff, so thank you ❤️ good luck with your writing, I’m sure you’re doing great and you’ll continue to do even better. Have faith!

[kristlewrites]

“Baby I’m ready for take off”

CW: Cock Warming ,Chest Riding, Fluff(?), Poorly written smut, comfort(?) nicknames ( ma, mamas, papa, and baby)

PAIRING: Connie x Black!FemReader

WC: 0.9k

🫧🗯️: Test run post! Don’t judge���� ALSO! first time writing smut so if it’s bad i’m sorry, it’ll probably remain like that for a minute…(title is from a wayv song.. doesn’t have to do anything with the fic🪦🪦)

MINORS DNI

(take off!)

It's been a long day, long week even. School has been beating your ass with essays and finals..this was your only chance to relax. You enter connie's apartment around 6 pm, he wasn't there because he's also been busy but not with school. The team made it to regionals and the coach has been working the team the bone with drills everyday.

     You use your key that he lent to you and make yourself at home, he lived off campus. You make your way into the shower and clean yourself up real quick and change into his pajamas, although a lot of your clothes is in his room, hell ! you even have your own drawer! But you love the way his clothes feels on you and his scent makes you feel safe. You were absolutely starving by the time you got dressed and decided to go order some food, wing-stop you finally decide you got yourself a 12 pc hot and lemon pepper with a side of fries and A sprite. When the food came around it was almost eight and Connie should be on his way home.

   After you finished eating you cleaned up super quick and went to bed, connie showed up about an hour later. He knew you were here but seeing you in his sheets and pjs made his heart falter. He went in the shower quickly and joined you in bed. He tried his best not to make any noise but regardless you still woke up 

    "Sorry ma, didn't mean to wake you up"

    he said so gentle, 

      "how are you? I'm sorry I came home late.. i didn't expect coach to keep us so long"

   he caressed your cheeks trying to get you back to sleep. You looked up at his beautiful freckled face, you missed him so much you guys havent been able to see each other at all this week with being so occupied with your own personal activities and affairs. Small tears stream from your eyes, he wipes them away with such care and delicacy.

   "I know, I know ive missed you too, baby"

    You turn towards to him and indulge into his chest , he's not wearing a shirt which is normal since he gets really sweaty at night (😭😭🪦🪦🪦) you start talking about the events that happened that week, how your essay went, how you absolutely failed your stats test, new books you bought, girl drama, and how stressful it's been for you. He nods occasionally and throws in a couple of "mhms" to let yk that he's still listening. This goes on for about an hour and at this point you're just rambling, but connie understands how much you love to talk and let's you continue without complaint, that is until you ask him about his week and what he's done. 

   At this point he's practically knocked out. 

   "Hah, What was that baby what did you say??" he said a little bit groggy

   You repeat your question, but while you do you see that he's HARD??? No way this man was hard from just hearing you talk.But then he must've been backed up from this whole week because of how rarely he saw you or had anytime for himself. When you think about it has been a while since y'all had sex, because of how seldom it's been to even talk to him on the phone 

   "Hey con.. You're hard, how long has it been?" you ask while playing with his nipples. (🪦🪦🪦)

   "Baby you don't even understand how much i've missed you..c'mere" He pulls you closer to his penis.

  Slowly he removes his pants and boxers, revealing his hard leaking cock.. good lord it was so much prettier than you remember. You slowly enter his dick into your hole, surprised by how wet you were.

   "Be careful mamas I could jizz into you at any point" you laughed at his choice of words, it was clear that he hasn't been relived in awhile..and while you were also tired doesn't mean you could at least help him out!!?? and you were on the pill so that should count for something..right??? Continuing you grab ahold of his tip and insert it, until fully seethed into your pussy. It felt so good, you grabbed his hand and placed it on your stomach showing him where his dick is. That really pushed him over and sprayed your pussy through and through. your poor baby he was so sensitive. You guys stayed like that until morning.

   Waking up, you find yourself looking at connie sleeping so soundly and peacefully. You reach for your phone but feel restricted once you've realized the man got a whole ass dick in you. omggg

  "Baby wake up" you whisper yell, tapping his chest. you roam your fingers on along his abs, a few seconds later connie shifts a little bit to remove his cock from you and lifts you up and places you down on his chest. This all happens so quick that u immediately shiver, with your wet slicky pussy on top of his chest he begins move you up and down while his dick teases at your ass crack. Your nails dig into his abdomen while you grind your silky pussy over his abs. Connie's hands take pleasure in your tits while they bounce up and down, twisting and turning you nipples putting you into over drive. Your cum glazes over his abs, you panting hard. First thing in the morning... You rest your head on his chest finding his heart beat while he rubs your head calming you down. 

   "I love you ma" he whispers, he feels your smile into his chest and laughs a bit. He raises your head, "did you hear what I said?" He leans in for a kiss and you return it. "I love you too papa"

(Think of this as a soft launch ijbol)🫧🗯️