#ive been trying to practice actual art stuff

[dunkinbublin]

three of them

just standing there ig

[milkbreadtoast]

quick yoojin phone doodles from memory/without reference... im surprised it turned out so accurate considering i havent drawn him much(this is like the 2nd-3rd time) but ig it's bc im always taking notes in my head when i look at my screencaps of him... 😳

[mocury-moto]

wow my artistic confidence just skyrocketed okay good to know

[ezlo-x]

Some Ganondorf pose practice

(under cut is me rambling I should actually go to bed)

helloooo it is time for the lovely late night posting from meee

lately ive been feeling frustrated on how i draw anatomy. i want it to be simplistic like idk 2000s MTV or Adult Swim cartoon show art style I'm very tired and sleepy but just know its part of that era of art that I've been searching inspo for. but honestly i feel like i havent done proper body drawings in a while and I love doing it. idk why i just felt motivated to practice drawing ganondorf, I've also been feeling frustrated that the way i draw characters posing has gotten really stiff. so ig the perfect storm was created and a combination of things happened when drawing and i gotta say im pretty proud of it

i took pose refs cause i havent done that in a long while. I took the way i draw totk ganondorf and used certain traits and give em to LF ganondorf and i really love how it turned out. Im also trying to figure out still on how to use my new tablet cause this is actually the first time I'm properly using it (classes didn't gave me much time with it). my mind just went blank i was gonna say more anywayz uhhhhhh imma let this be rebloggable cause i liked how it turned out, IM very shy abt sharing stuff like this but i will share it to you all

enjoy topless ganondorf <3

[ink-the-artist]

Any advice on how to create something everyday? I feel like I'm unable to draw anything anymore and I want to keep creating so desperately

Making some kind of art you can actually hold or even use is rly motivating in my experience, like some kind of sculpture or jewelry or ceramic pottery. You can make something with whatever materials you already have, doesn’t have to be anything crazy complicated it could be as simple as modifying some thrifted clothes.

something ive been doing lately is just having a photoshop document open that i use like a sketchbook for drawing anything, whatever self indulgent cringe shit i want, and keeping it to myself. and I'm still practicing and improving my art skills doing this. its this outlet for only myself and no one else and i go back and refine or redraw stuff if I feel like it and it lets me be motivated soley by enjoyment of making art rather than by positive attention from others.

Also you don’t have to create something every day if you can’t. Especially if you’re trying to make something new every day lol, I don’t make a new thing each day even though I work on art every day, I’m usually just working on the same few things for a while.

You don’t have to draw to create something either, you can take a break from one kind of art and do something else

[parkerluvsu]

imagine you and art studying together, and he was too distracted with his games to actually do the homework so he teases you and acts all innocent when he’s really trying to get those homework awnsers out of you…

(sorry i’m not best at explaining i hope this made sense)

YUPPPPP

since he earned a scholarship from playing tennis, it's hard for art to focus on academics, when it's not really what he's in school for!

he tries hard in the first semester of his freshman year.. but then he kind of gives up and coasts on his successful career as a college tennis player. finally his coach makes him get a tutor; you.

art needs the most help in math, because he has such a hard time paying attention. the first time you meet, he seems like the classic jock, not pressured like anyone else to actually try hard at school. for the first few tutoring sessions art just sits there on his phone, humming in response whenever you answer a problem on his homework, or teasing you about being such a "nerd". you roll your eyes, pretty much fed up with doing his homework every day while he just sits and plays stupid games on his phone. you decide to finally say something.

"you know i don't have to do this for you, right? it's frustrating when im literally doing your work for you and you never even do as much as say thank you." art looks up from his phone, initially having a look of surprise on his face, but quickly covering it up with a pout. "im really, really sorry.. its just.. ive been so tired after tennis, and i have so much practice that i barely sleep.." he almost has a whine in his voice, "im really sorry.. it's just.. i don't even think i can do all the stuff that you do, you're so smart.." he looks up at you with those baby blue eyes and you can't help but feel sorry for him. "art.. you're smart, for real. if you just applied yourself to the work you'd be as good as i am in no time.." he nods slowly, putting down his phone. "i guess you're right.. let me make it up to you though, can i buy you dinner or something?" art looks at you earnestly, eyes searching yours for any hints of you giving in. you sigh, "okay.. sure, only if you promise to actually do your work once and a while." art nods happily and crosses his fingers behind his back, "oh of course i will"

you both get up and leave, art satisfied that you're now under his little spell <3

[forecast0ctopus]

Okay I have a lot to say here, but I’m gonna try to make it brief (which is really hard for me, sorry)

WOAH DAWG. Your art has inspired me more than I can even express. My hardcore Star Trek phase started right around this time last year. Like, obviously I knew what Star Trek was, but I’d never seen it, so I started with TOS, and after the first three episodes, I was like, yeah, okay, Spock and Kirk are super gay, but their boyfriend Bones is obviously their boyfriend, too. 

So I looked up the fated “McSpirk”, and your art popped up. Boom. Life changed. 

To make a long story short, I practiced and practiced, and slowly (kind of) learned how to draw them (totally based off of your style, yeah, I’m sorry bro there’s like a lot of plagiarised versions of your drawings in old sketchbooks. 😬Don’t worry though, they’re really bad, so no one would mistake them for the original)

And ALSO like a good chunk of my fanfiction has been inspired by your art. So… thank you!

Now, I think, I’ve developed a style of drawing them that’s just far enough from yours that maybe it’s not too obvious that I learned how to draw McSpirk from meticulously studying your art? Probably not, though. But the point is basically: your art is fantastic and so soo edible. 

Ps. I ACTUALLy am a liar, because I’d seen your reanimator fanart before your Star Trek stuff! I was waaayy into reanimator a while ago (still am, just more fixated on other things), and your art was all over my pinterest. And you draw American Werewolf in London, and Merlin, and Psychonauts, and Twin Peaks?? Holy cow dude, you’re the whole damn package. 

Okay, so that was more of a five-paragraph essay than an “ask”. Sorry, not great at tumblr. 

In summary: you’re iconic. There is no McSpirk fandom without you bro. Please never stop drawing, because the day you do is the day I eat the sun like an evil pagan god. 💪💪💪

WOW :0 firstly, thanks so much!! i really appreciate all of this and im glad to know you like my stuff so much :D anyways longish answer for a longish message under the cut..

now i just wanna say – absolutely no issues with copying other people's work to learn, its not like trying to pass things off as your own and its just part of the learning process.. even less of an issue with art styles, you kinda just look at things and go hey i like the way that looks im gonna figure out how to draw [whatever specific element] like that now.. and eventually you frankenstein so many techniques together that you get your own thing out of it lmao. for example i learned how to draw hands from danny phantom and im afraid im stuck with that for life dgfhj anyways i think it rules that youve been drawing them and im kind of honored that you like my stuff enough to use it to learn... and if you've got any links to the art and fics youve mentioned, id love to see 👀 also ive gotten the comment abt finding my stuff on pinterest a bit and IVE LOOKED idk how you guys find them fgdjh i think ive found on there a couple merlin things ive done and thats it... dont mean to sound conceited or anything but i just think its fun when i see my art places i dont post..... incredible when it pops up in edits occasionally love it when people have the same array of interests as me since they all kind of feel entirely unrelated to one another in genre and subject matter so i never expect it.. ESPECIALLY psychonauts augh ive been trying to convince people to play that game for 11 years and ive only gotten through to like maybe three people fsbhjk anyways guess weve both got great taste in media 🤝🤝🤝 thanks again for such a kind message, i appreciate it more than i can articulate!! <333

[kroovv]

previous anon here: dorian's predatory business practices are a lot like wattpad's if you know anything about that—they pocket a huge portion of the proceeds for every VN they publish and only give very few pennies to the actual authors, essentially using other people's work to line their own pockets, while pretending to provide a great platform for artists. Last I heard they also have terms that say whatever you upload to them becomes their property IP. it's the kind of situation where they convince artists its the easiest option for publishing a VN, when in reality there are other ways that are just as or even more simple that allow u to keep full ownership of ur work. I also have a grudge against them specifically because they bought up an indie VN studio that I was a fan of, put previously free stuff behind a paywall and otherwise ran it into the ground, and their social media people were very unprofessional and sent threatening messages to fans for making fan content.

Renpy takes some learning, but it's really simple once you know how it works. And besides renpy there are other VN engines that are even simpler (Unity even has a VN library called Fungus thats very simple and straightforward to use) TyranoBuilder is also a popular one. As for chapters, there are absolutely people on itchio updating their VNs a chapter at a time, although i dont know if its in the way youd want; pushing each separate chapters as updates to the main game, or releasing each chapter as a separate game come to mind as options.

(i'd honestly even offer to convert the game to renpy for you since ive been working extensively with renpy for the past 2 years and am very familiar with it and how to work it, if it meant i could save one artist from the clutches of dorian, but that feels too much like overstepping 😅)

So i am not sure if maybe they have changed things, but with games self published to them they own 0% of that IP so I will own Gravehearts 100% only if they where to buy it from me then they’d own it but i personally do not see that happening lmao. From what i understand about it is it is like Webtoons but for VNs anyone can upload to it but they still own it like how i still own Horizon Walkers even though it’s on Webtoons and Tapas. They do take a % of what you make so that is why I would love to also have my own app or game on itch as well!

I have a decent following for my artwork but who knows what that vendiagram is for people who like VNs is, so if i where to publish the game somewhere by itself i don’t know how well it would do because I don’t know if i have the audience for it, also i don’t know if people would even see it when i post about it cause social media sucks. So like posting HW to webtoons so that people who read comics might see it that’s what I am kind of hoping for with posting Gravehearts to Dorian.

Again with Gravehearts i own it 100%, with publishing games there you can chose when and where people pay for things, and people do paywall love interests and main story stuff but i fully do not intend to do that because I don't want to do that. So I will not be putting any main story or love interests behind paywalls the only thing I would do as paid stuff are optional scenes with a character where you can get a nice full art piece of them from it! (Im also trying to figure out if i could put some kind of code on the image so people can download high res versions of it as phone wallpapers! So you’re actually paying for something more tangible)

However like i said previously i would love to make my own app for it, or something like an app or on itch, but i could maybe try do it in tangent with Dorian, so people who don’t want to support them can still support the story somewhere else! But it might take a little while for me to be able to do something like that because it’d be learning a whole bunch of new stuff and it is just me but I will do my best 👍

[lovelettersto-mars]

Six sentence Sunday, but it's Monday and I'm supposed to be working on an essay ‼️

Hello everyone, I've been slacking lately, absolutely. Unfortunately burnout has hit was earlier than normal, which, for context burnout for me usually happens towards the end of the year but it's PRACTICALLY APRIL. I have a couple essays I'm supposed to be working on but I've decided to be creative and do some writing on the side. artsy character stuff .

Anyway, an exert from the fic, Kind of sort of TW??

Baz:

Its an itchy, burning feeling in my stomach. Almost like acid reflux, but more sinister.

He's kissing me, and kissing me, and kissing me. Its all I ever wanted from him. Why does it hurt so badly? Why aren't I enjoying it?

He doesn't love me. He doesn't want me. He sees me as something to kiss. Someone with no emotion behind their eyes. And I can only blame myself. I've led him to believe that

He likes to kiss me. He likes "this" whatever this is.

But will he ever love me like I love him? He likes me, he likes this. He likes kissing me.

But will he ever feel what i feel?? sometimes I feel unlovable, because it feels like no matter what, no one is ever going to love me as much as I love them. No one is going to return what I put in.

I love Simon with everything, With a fatal dosage.

Will he love me back with everything? I'm just so sick of feeling so much for people and barely getting anything in return. Am I defective? Am I overbearing? What's wrong with me why doesn't anyone seem to feel things the way I do? But he's kissing me and it's good, so good. And for a minute I try to ignore the itching doubt in the back of my mind. But it's clawing inside, trying to make it's way to my throat, trying to make me voice my anxiety. But my sensibility holds a steadying finger to my lips, reminding me that we're not dating, we're not in love.

I'm just a bloke he likes to kiss

Yeah, uh, sorry ... Next exert because it's getting actually written finally:

His hands find their way under my shirt, up my back.

And I feel his fingertips like fire against my skin, burning their way through my muscle and bone. Every touch feels like I'm being torched, and for one anxious moment, I almost feel like I am.

His hands circle my waist, and he pulls away, just long enough to ask me if he can take off my shirt.

Realistically, I know he won't care if I say no. But the ache in my chest grows deeper and deeper, and feels as though it's restricting my chest. I can't breathe well. I don't want him to worry, or care. I'm wearing another shirt underneath, but if I say yes to the first layer, he'll want the second gone. And when I was younger I wouldve wanted him to tear away every item of clothing, screw the consequences! But younger me didn't have the true secret, snd shame, hidden under the long sleeved shirts.

I've taken too long to answer....

Yeah uh yeah that's writing I've done :D

Kind of triggery explanation under the cut, I just wanted to talk about the inspirations for the fic, and tell y'all that I'm mentally well rn lol

I really like using Baz as a sort of... Outlet? For my own issues.

I have a very weird relationship with... Relationships. I'm on the aroace spectrum, and I'm also heavily autistic. I always wondered why I felt so unlovable, and so unable to love the right way. Anyway turns out, not only am I just autistic, I'm also demisroace 😐 I genuinely thought I was defective and hated myself for it, and I always wondered why my experiences with love and sex were always so different to my peers.

Anyways, obviously throughout a lot of the art and writing I make of Baz Ive given him self harm scars. This is because I like to project. Also because I see a lot of myself in him, which makes me feel a lot better about my issues when I make my favorite character go through the same thing.

Anyway we have demisroace Baz, with self harm scars on his arms hes terrified of his partner? seeing.

Anyway I'm all good as I've stated, I just wanted to share a bit more of my story through fanfic :3

[postmail]

hey guys i love you. its my birthday in three days have some queeshmael (and other assorted stand-alone ishmaels and queequegs) moby dick fanarts that ive drawn over the course of like... several months that i never posted because i thought they looked like shit. and tbh i still do. but also theres beauty in everything and also also i need to lead by example of fearlessness in posting shitty ass fanart just for funsises. just because it makes me happy. some of these are outdated but idgaf. enjoy inconsistent character designs lol

its under the cut cause uh wow thats actually a lot more than i expected? whoops?

okay funny story i actually lied up there a little bit i drew this several months ago and was so madly in love with how it turned out that i never posted it because i didnt want the inevitable lack of attention to sour it for me. its a little outdated now but i still love it, i just want to put here so i never lose it. ishmael please go to therapy

newer art yet somehow even more outdated designs? i think i was trying to be a bit more experimental and didnt like how they came out. i still dont like the designs very much but looking back now i dont think the art itself is actually that bad.

never posted because i just couldnt get the anatomy quite right. i actually kind of miss when i colored grays like this idk how i forgot that actually wait i should start doing that again-

this one was for mermay, just pure silliness and cringe for the soul. more of that awesome gray shading line stuff that i need to start doing again, but i didnt like how queequeg's face looked. and also i think i felt a bit silly about this? like i thought it was too cringe or something? idk why tho its kinda cute to me now. best of wishes to ishmael in his goal to fuck that fish man

more inconsistent queequeg designs! i really liked this one when i first drew it, but i thought it was too small to post on its own, being just a itsy little doodle for shading practice. now i can post it :). wonder who it is thats talking to him?

another little drawing! this one i never posted because 1) i fucked up when drawing it and accidentally drew it way too small and 2) i accidentally made it waayy too similar to another moby dick fanart by another more popular user and i didnt want other ppl accusing me of copying or smthin... i jusr didnt think this piece was particularly worth the risk of that. i think its fine now tho.

incredibly shitty doodle i really only made for myself ft. incredibly innacurate drawing of a sperm whale. ngl i still think the joke is funny tho.

shhh dont tell the cringe police about this one but this is a queeshmael fankid i made. her name is rachael and she cannot make normal facial expressions to save her life. she loves listening to her dad infodump its interesting to her. she knows so many incorrect facts about whales! whoopie!

this might have been a valentines special? idk. i was gonna redraw it but then i forgor. let this be a lesson to you: finish your drawings, or else you'll only have the older version to show to people (its okay i still like this a little bit)

oh shit i ran out ok bye guys hope you liked your gay whalers peace and love on planet earth

[sixthemeowmeowidk]

YOUR SUCH A GOOD ARTIST I LOVE YOUR C! TNT DUO ART SM!!! (≡^∇^≡)

thanks oomf 😭

sorry to vent here yall but i was legit abt to post abt how unmotivated ive been at drawing

i havent been drawing much recently coz i lost confidence in my art idk i guess im just wondering why do i even draw at all my art isnt good enough where i can do anything with it i feel like its in its awkward stage where its just like, okay. Its okay but its not good and its not amazing its just okay. And idk ig ive just been disappointed in myself bc it feels like despite all the efforts it didnt rlly turn out the way i wanted like i was drawing for so long for it to just be okay and ig im just bummed i also just started feeling like drawing is a waste of time if it doesnt bring me anything and if i cant move others idk maybe im tripping or smth i just dont know why my art has been so stagnant i realized im quite delusional and im not as good as i perceived myself to be and infact ive fallen quite far im kinda just lost on what to do because it feels like drawing is a waste of time but i cant dettach myself from art bc ive made it apart of my identity and i have no other hobbies i want to fully commit to coz i dont want to start all over again on learning smth new i cant give up on all my efforts but it feels like im just not good enough like ueah i get that i am skilled to some degree but the skill isnt enough im not moving ive been on the same level for so long ive been moving at such a slow pace and i just dont understand why my art doesnt have the same charm that others do maybe its bc people can tell that i dont enjoy drawing maybe its bc they can tell that im only doing it for my own gain and that i dont try hard enough to draw for fulfillment or something idk

idk its a lot of stuff and im sure ill prob get over it and draw again but i just feel like i cant do anything with my art or maybe im not smart enough to think things through or maybe im jst making excuses for myself its honestly so embarrassing to admit this but idrc i kinda wish i was never a artist in the first place i just feel like all of this is a waste of time and that i shouldve done something else that can actually contribute to something

i dont see art the same way anymore and im not sure why im disappointed and confused on what to do i want to improve but i feel like something is holding me back i feel like i need to do other stuff and be useful i feel kinda useless with what i do idk i feel like i cant create the way others do and that it’s obvious my art lacks passion

idek man i hate this identity that ive built up bc it feels like its useless im def just tweaking the fuck out and need to take a rest maybe im burnt out from drawing so much but i wish i wasnt because i really need to practice im scared ill get left behind and i miss my chance to be as good as i want to be or need to be and ill miss my chance to be useful i feel like every artwork i do is half assed in a way thats hard to explain but yeah

[sugarpuptard]

i posted a speedpaint on my tiktok and it started getting likes basically instantly and that made me so anxious omfg xD it seemed to like slow down or stop now but i never get likes like that that fast so wtf lul is it just cuz its creepy or what

i'll share here cuz why not, not sure where i wanna post my art mainly but the first one is the one from the speedpaint i posted and the other one i'll prob post the speedpaint of tomorrow, ive been trying to practice to do commissions but i dont rlly have a consistent style tho, but im usually better with furries than ppl so i'll probably do that most o(><)o

i kept trying to draw full body stuff so i could draw more fashion related things but i kept messing it up so,,,, headshots it is then o(；△；)o these drawings dont fit my blog theme at all but this sorta clashing is my life so i wont stop myself hehe, maybe i'll actually finish something more cute tho. i also wonder how i should price any commissions, i'll probably make it as cheap as possible with factoring in the physical stress drawing does still, but i love it so nothing will stop me

[givemedamage]

i dont really ramble slash just post my thoughts that much anymore bc im like an on edge bitch plus ive gotten ten times more incoherent off my meds and i dont wanna subject anyone to that except for in tags on art posting maybe sometimes ill be like BARRRRFFF WORDS but i wanna do it now bc. i just want to On that note like i definitely have posted dipshit dumbass stuff like oversharing stuff or stuff i no longer agree with or wish i worded better or didnt speak so soon on like i have a journal if i really need to tell the universe i just took a shit but ANYWAYTHATS NOT EVEN THE POINT OF THIS RAMBLE WAIT THIS WAS ART RELATED RAMBLING ok so like i've been trying to quote unquote relearn art for a hot minute cold second now and sometimes, ill think of that one ask i got that was like 'how do you draw furries' or How do you draw anthros or IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THAT and i cant remember what exactly i replied ,GIVEN THAT IS A VERY VAGUE QUESTION BUT LIKE i definitely replied something strange and unhelpful like 'ufhhh just practice :D !!!!! find fun ways to furrify the furry idk' AND LIKE IF THAT WAS YOU IM SO SORRY i feel like there's so much stuff i didn't AND STILL DON'T OBVIOUSLY know even though ive been doing furry art since babyhood like how important fundamental whatever is WHICH I KNOW SOUNDS DUMB LIKE OBVIOUSLY FUNDAMENTALS ARE IMPORTANT but like. learning perspective and actual shading not just guessing and using people pose and animals pose references and doing figure studies and outside places studies has HELPED ME SO MUCH LIKE WOW WHAT THE FUCK there's just little things i never learned in art class. little things i'll notice like 'huh foot (paw?) placement is actually rlly awesome and also important drawing a character standing' or like 'so that's what a trapezius is' or like 'ohhh i get it now, things are scaled bigger when they're closer and i should be thinking about the pov also' which like the last time i was in an art class i was literally a FRESHMAN IN HS so like. like yeah But how to draw furries individual , i apologize but if i was asked that again id probably be like ''References and youtube tutorial and especially that animal skull github angle reference website saved my hide'' WHICH ISNT REALLY THAT BETTER OF A RESPONSE NOW THAT IM LOOKING AT IT BUT LIKE I COULDVE more concisely said (ironic sonsidering how fucking long this spiel is becoming)that i don't know what the fuck im doing but i love resources and i love pencils and skecthing and i love wawa color and painting and digitaling arting and i love my fake world and artists i love you and artists who struggle making art they want i love you and artists who want to do art but are nervous to start or are preoccupied with other shit i love you . i know stuffs really hard out here for everyone and excuse me for being so unspecific about it but it seems like everyday it's just another thing it's honestly getting hard to keep up with much less sum up my frustrations towards in a single already tragically rambly post and i hate it so much and stay safe and i'm sorry do not die quietly plus never kill yourself. Tl,dr; i run on sentence about how art is good and fun, (somewhat gushily and long windedly )

[heuldoch7b]

Hey, do you have any tips for completing art pieces?

I can't finish anything I start and I really like ur works, so I was wondering to see how you do it.

ive been writing a reply to this ask over the course of months, its a really hard question to answer

i lend a lot of weight on making my pieces kindove tasty to look at, utilizing interesting and fun colors is both fun to do and produces an effect most people find appealing to the eyes (the amount of comments i receive on people wanting to eat my art is insane).

fuck around with color theory n shit. also use patterns those are fun. get silly? its crafts time not a job (unless it is then idk thats scary)

also like, be generous with what is "done". sometimes a finished thing is a sketch with only the eyes colored in. sometimes its a shiny shaded piece with a background and all that jazz. dont force a piece, that'll make you miserable and that is the opposite of the goal.

i am always going to suggest doing weird shit with shapes too. shape language is a lovely fun thing to play with, it can make it more fun to actual work on the piece and help you play around with your own style into something novel.

dont worry about conforming to any specific art style, if anything please feel free to try and pick up on different art styles to practice different ways of doing things. if you hate shading find a new way to shade (i.e., rather than shading w colors how about you do hatching?) experiment, try new stuff, try new programs, try new mediums, get sillayyy.

also take care of your health and make sure youre getting enough nutrients and vitamins and water and sunlight and rest ok love u kisses ur forehead friendly style

also im using this post as an excuse to compile misc stuff i did this year to share with u guys. thanks so much for all the amazing beautiful sweet people ive met on here. you are all so so cool.

[callsignfangs]

JSSJJSJA I LOVE UR WRITING 😭😭 I'M MUNCHING SO HARD ON IT

p.s im the anon who asked for that farah x g/n reader after a hard mission if that even matters but

-besides that, I have another request🤭🤭 if u have time ofc

g/n reader whos afraid of thunderstorms (from PTSD maybe) and there just so happens to be a thunderstorm tonight oh no but farah is there with them🤩

SORRY FOR THIS REALLY LONG REQUEST BUT UM HAVE A GOOD DAY OR NIGHT RAHH GO WILD

GIGGLINGNGN IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED ITT 😚😚

(I’d call you the Farah anon but atp my, like, whole page is Farah. Not that I’m complaining 😇)

And absolutely I will absolutely devour any reqs I get, esp Farah ones, I just love them smmsmm 😇

(AND DONT APOLOGISE FOR THE LENGTH LUVVIEE 💟💟 I LOVE GETTING REQS 🫂)

Also also sorry for the wait ive been focusing a little on art and personal life stuff that’s absolutely battering me rn 🧍‍♂️

Farah Karim x GN!Traumatised! Reader 😚

To say nights were hard was a bit of an understatement for you. Sleep didn’t come easy - not when it was majorly plagued with painful projections and stalking memories, haunting you throughout the night when they couldn’t tear at you through the day.

So, you being up at god-knows-when at night really wasn’t too alarming. You didn’t even mind it that much anymore, it was a bit like a routine. The exhaustion was annoying, and the daily naps were a pain, but it was easier than attempting to face sleep.

Usually. Usually, your waking mind was clearer and safer than your sleeping one. Not tonight.

Tonight? Tonight, the thunder rolling through the air practically sent shockwaves through your room, sending your mind reeling into that fogged, not-quite-here, am-i-there haze, making your chest ache and stomach knot painfully. You wished your mind would surrender you to sleep, even if it was just trading one hell for another.

It wasn’t long before you ended up at Farah’s door like a little lost puppy. It seemed pointless - your hand was heavy with the fear of being a burden and you couldn’t even remember how you’d gotten there. The throbbing weight in your chest seemed to ebb into the air, the thickness slipping from your lungs before you could really get a full breath in.

Farah opening the door almost into your face was actually blessed coincidence, the empty glass in her hand somehow assured your oblivious little mind of just how much of a problem you were to her.

She didn’t even need to see the tears verging on spilling over your cheeks to know.

“Oh, hon, come on, lovely. I can’t have you out here by yourself, can I?”

You only just brought yourself to nod, lower lip wobbling involuntarily. Hands slipped across your back before you could burst into tears, softly guiding your listless form into her room, what little awareness you had left trailing behind. The gentle click of the door shutting only just stood out from the blood rushing through your ears, trying to shield from the growling of the thunder outside.

“Are you.. Are you warm enough, قلبي?” Her words were so motherly it hurt.

“How about I get you something warm to drink, alright? I’ll make your favourite, promise. Then we can snuggle up here and have a movie marathon, or something. How does that sound, love?”

A cosy, toasty drink and snuggles with your favourite girl? It did sound nice.

Farah’s smile widened. You must’ve nodded, or something. You didn’t quite know.

“There. I’m glad you like that idea. Just hold up one second, right?”

And then she plodded off again. Her absence made you hurt primally, fear creeping across your chest and up your throat, latching onto you with an iron grip. No, no, she couldn’t leave, it wasn’t safe, how did you let her go all alone what if-

“Hey, حبيبي, hey, it’s okay. Come here, shh.”

She was back. It felt like some kind of emotional whiplash, your feelings being pulled apart and moulded back together again, moving too quickly for you to really react.

Gentle, familiar hands guided you to sit back down - when had you stood up? - and cradled your cheek in their careful hold. Something slipped up over your ears, and the world went quiet again. Almost disturbingly so, the lack of input, of reassurance to your senses, it was scary.

It was like Farah read your mind as she leaned back in to whisper right next to your ear, just loud enough for you to hear, “It’s alright, sweetheart. Come on, you’re alright. We’re safe right now, we just have to let this storm pass. Literally, for once.”

The relaxed humour brought a weak smile to your face. It didn’t quite reach your eyes, but that was alright. You needed time and reassurance, only one of those had you received a decent amount of.

Her bed creaked as she joined next to you, worn, homely springs groaning with effort. Your hands were enveloped in her touch once again, substantial warmth coating the back of your hand, branching out over your palm and peeking up your wrist.

Farah didn’t hesitate to ease you down against the headboard, tucking a hand down against the small of your back as she fumbled for something she’d placed on the bedside table.

“Do you want that drink, love? I made your favourite. Same way as usual, don’t worry.” The mug was held by your hand, supporting it as you took it in your shaking ones. Her lips puckered softly as she puffed over the hot liquid, a little plume of steam flowing up to your face, the warm flash dragging your mind back somewhat. You idly noticed the seeds of a headache taking root against your temple.

“Careful, غالي, it’s hot.” It took a few moments to drag your eyes up and take her in, but you got there in the end. “Oh, hello, sweetheart. Popped back in, have we?” The light bags tugging at her under eye were engulfed by the soft plush of her cheeks as she smiled. To say she looked relieved was a bit of an understatement. One of her hands slipped from the mug, ensuring it was stable before coming up to give your cheek a little squeeze, thumbing gently at your cheekbone.

At your slow nod, her smile widened even further, gratitude pouring into her gaze. The mug was, once again, eased from your grasp at your seeming disinterest. It was probably going cold, but she didn’t particularly care.

“How do you feel about taking a nap, lovely? Just you and me. We can put on a movie too, like a little cosy movie night - does that sound nice?”

“Yeah..” Your words were almost too shaky to be intelligible, but seeing Farah’s warm glow at the attempt made it worth it.

Hands roamed gently under your thighs, easing you down into her shockingly comfy covers - ‘commander’s privileges’ - and proceeding to tuck you in, fussing over you all the while. It was a win/win, really, she got to look after and fuss over you, and you got a little bit of well-deserved spoiling.

After you were sufficiently smothered, Farah pulled herself up off the bed, calling out a soft ‘one sec’ before jogging out of the room. It was quiet. That wasn’t that bad anymore, though. She’d be back, soon.

Your mind barely wandered in the time it took for her to swipe the laptop off of the coffee table and speed back. She knew better than to leave you alone with your thoughts right now, though your semi-calmness when she got back was reassuring.

“Here we are..” Farah murmured idly, clambering up next to you, placing the laptop on the bedside table by your head. You were softly eased onto your side and pulled to a firm, pillowy chest. One arm was laid out under your shoulder, simultaneously supporting you and reaching out to the laptop, opening up her downloads and mindlessly scrolling through her library of movies. Her other arm was laid over your side, kneading at your tummy before moving slowly up to your chest.

The next few minutes were spent with Farah idly chatting into your ear, bouncing movie ideas off of you as she internally preened at each and every response you gave. Together, you decided on a movie, and cuddled into each other’s safe warmth as the opening credits rolled.

By the halfway mark, you were fast asleep. By the end, Farah was too.

—

Sorry for the kinda rushed ending, I wanted to maybe take this a little further sometime, but it’s been ages and I wanted to give yous a little sumet to munch on /j

Pinky promise I’ll try to drag myself out of my sorta-hiatus 😚🫂

(Tags: @theartisticautisticc )

[leonenjoyer69]

Both your OCs occupy space in my mind lol I love both Harry and Elias. Would you mind giving some more rambles please and thank you? About either one. I just love learning more about them.

VJEKBKDKF TYSM, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THEM :D it makes me very happy to know that people enjoy my ramblings and art of my lil fellas :3 (also, all you sweet anons are gonna be the death of me with your mysterious identities!)

(SUB NOTE: if anyone ever has any ideas at all or art requests or something for either of my sillies PLEASE don't hesitate to bring them up I would literally love hearing any suggestion or answering any question ever)

Anyways!!! I've actually been waiting to drop a bunch of stuff on these fellas that I've been talking about with some folks on Discord (which y'all can also ask for if you wanna talk to me on there I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS), so thank you for granting me the perfect opportunity >:3 so, without further ado, I shall begin:

First of all, i just wanted to drop my height HCs bc,,,, why not lmao

I can't exactly visualize heights very well in my mind so these may be a wee bit too tall, idk, but yeah! I think giving Hyde an extra half inch would be funny bc you KNOW that mf would just round up lmao. Elias is a bit taller than Hyde, which Hyde kinda hates sometimes, itty bitty fella.

Anyways!! Harry is first up for rambling bc I have less for him rn lmao. I don't remember if ive mentioned it much before on here, but I know I included it in the fic i did for him, and that's his Scottish accent :3 we as a fandom don't write Jekyll's accent enough so I like projecting it onto injured Hyde and now Harry 😌 MORE SCOTTISH JEKYLL PLEASE-

Harry didn't really have to worry about keeping face in the mindscape (except for when around Mind Lanyon, who would pester tf out of him over it) so he fell back to at LEAST having an accent. He partially fell back on it because 1, it made him feel a wee more comfortable, and 2, because of how often he revisited memories from university (specifically during his and Lanyon relationship ofc), so he's used to hearing himself speaking with at least a drawl.

But yeah, that accent kinda sticks with him when he gains control and he has quite a hard time shaking it, which makes for some fun interactions, like when Lanyon's trying to break down his office door :3333

I believe I've mentioned this, but Harry is very very sensitive to most physical sensations (touch, pain, etc.) and has some light and sound sensitivities for a decent bit after gaining control. Because of how long he spent in the mindscape with numbed senses, It really messed with him to suddenly have control again. Eventually he starts getting used to it again, but for the first few days he's practically on the edge of a mental breakdown at every moment. He's also super jumpy from it (and from the ungodly paranoia he got from the mindscape lmao) and is quite firmly "no touch" for about a week (except for when he initiates stuff with Lanyon). Once he gets used to it tho his touch starved ass is a lot more affectionate and such.

One last thing for him! He's also far more sensitive to hunger and thirst sensations/pain, so he tends to take far better care of their body while in control. It took him a short while to get used to eating and drinking again, but he's more than happy to do it, not realizing how much he had missed it. Plus, he's seen how horrible Jekyll and Hyde would take care of themselves, so he certainly doesn't want their neglect to be his downfall. He's also a bit more sensitive to being tired, but can't sleep very well (especially without Lanyon) because of paranoia and nightmares.

OKAY, NOW, onto Elias!! Most all this stuff is from a discord convo that I didn't feel like rewording, so... Sorry if the formatings weird 💀 (questions are indented and italicized, as well as abbreviated)

OKAY SO, For how Henry (or whoever) convinces Elias to switch back:

Elias usually throws some sort of fit when he's initially order to switch back (except for the very rare instances where he's actively wanting to switch back, like when everyone's busy and he starts getting lonely anyways), though most the time he'll simmer down when Henry starts sorta begging or when either Henry or Lanyon (or very occasionally Hyde) lowkey bribe him. Usually Henry (or Hyde) will bribe him with physical touch/affection (hugs, cuddling, kisses, stuff like that), or bonding time, like going out and doing things together and such (or just doing stuff together at the society, like watching Henry do science or doing paperwork 💀). (Also, sometimes Jekyll will just get somewhat impatient and start asking more desperately and the guilt kinda gets to Elias, Henry usually feels bad about it tho) otherwise, Lanyon will bribe him (quite grudgingly, might I add) with more time out, going to the park with Elias in shadow form and talking, or letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde. But yeah, Elias is lowkey like a little affectionate, overactive puppy :3

[...] I misread "letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde" as "letting him get a gift FROM Jekyll or Hyde" and swore for a moment that sometimes Jekyll/Hyde sent gifts to Elias but Lanyon stole them [... ]

LANYON WOULD TOTALLY STEAL ELIAS'S STUFF TO USE AS BARGAINING LEVERAGE 💀 but yes, bribery is the go to, this guy does NOT like being locked away, so when he does it's either out of guilt or he's getting something out of it, hehe

[...] Imagine that since Lanyon is probably taller than elias, he just hides some lf his stuff on higher places so that he cannot reach them, I feel like Elias would annoy the hell out of him so that he stops doing it though (Lanyon puts them back where they where, and when Elias isn't there, he just hides them again) also, I just imagined Jekyll like guilt tripping or manipulating him so that he drinks the potion

Oh he absolutely would, Lanyon would have a whole "confiscated" shelf for it too, and Elias would definitely whine about it with sooo much persistence. AND JFKGKKF YEAH JEKYLL WOULD 😭😭 both out of selfishness and not, since he still hasn't tested how the formula behaves when an alter ego is out for prolonged amounts of time, and sometimes he just wants Robert back.

Jekyll likes Elias, he just has more of a preference for Lanyon. Jekylls probably also got a bit less patience for Elias's whining after dealing with Hyde's for so long lmao, he always feels kinda bad about being mean or anything to Elias tho, since it's kinda his fault that Lanyon split.

Would Lanyon ever like bother Elias with the fact that Jekyll likes him better?? Like maybe, at one point he just gets too tired of him wanting to hang out with Jekyll and says to him that Jekyll just deals with him out of pity, and like Elias then just feeling kinda bad about it and wondering if Jekyll actually likes him??

If Lanyon's feeling especially spiteful and annoyed, probably, but also Elias worries about that enough on his own and bothers Lanyon with all his self deprecating thoughts anyways 💀

How does Hyde feel about Elias?

He's generally guilt free about the whole "splitting Lanyon" thing and /gen likes Elias way more than he likes Lanyon lmao. He still gets that sorta bitter anger and resentment when he looks at Lanyon, but he doesn't get that with Elias. Hyde kinda thinks that Elias is all the best parts of Lanyon (Except for Elias's emotional sensitivity sometimes, but Hyde deals. He feels surprisingly bad when he upsets Elias..) But yeah, Elias is most of the reason why Hyde is complacent enough to actually kinda lay low after messing up Blackfog and stuff, so Jekyll certainly likes Elias for keeping Hyde somewhat in check lmao

And that's everything I have for this!!! Thank you so much for the ask :D