#ive been so busy idek whY

[cruorgasms]

promise im coming back to this blog this week

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[evansbby]

an update from me :)

hey everyone, i know i haven’t been very active on here lately. and the reason is because a lot of things in my life have changed. i’ve been debating even sharing this but i feel like i’m in a good enough position to be okay with sharing it.

so these past two years, i had been super active on here (late 2022- early 24) and that was because, well, I didn’t really have anything else. that’s because I had graduated in 2022 and then i just couldn’t find a job in my field. like so many other recent graduates, it was just so hard and tough and it really made me lose all faith in myself.

i found myself to be in the worst mental state i had ever been. I cut myself off from my friends, felt like a burden towards my family, was having meltdowns and panic attacks almost daily, even started eating unhealthily and was just overall in a very bad place.

HOWEVER, i always felt like I could come on tumblr and that’s why i was so active and writing all these stories because honestly, they were almost like a crutch to me. like the ONE thing i had to look forward to in life during those times was the feedback I’d get when i posted a fic, and honestly it’s what kept me going. like i swear to god, on some days this blog and community was the only thing that i had to look forward to and keep me going, and writing felt like such a huge escape.

because i felt so USELESS. like i was wasting my life and not making any money or being able to kickstart my career after uni, and that it would be like this forever, so when I was writing it actually felt like I was doing something with a purpose. honestly on some days I would literally wake up early and go sit in Starbucks all day just writing my fics like i was cosplaying working or something just so I’d have a purpose. (I don’t go to Starbucks anymore lol boycott)

anyways, i never shared this on tumblr these past few years bc you guys don’t understand what a failure i felt like. i would sometimes get asks on here asking what i did for a job and I’d feel so embarrassed of my current state of being unable to find a job when it felt like everyone else who had graduated with me had one and obtained one so easily. like i felt ASHAMED.

i remember once i got an ask asking what my job was and I just said “fashion marketing” bc that was one of the things i wanted to do and id done an internship in that field so i just put that but it was a LIE i was unemployed and the most depressed ive been in my whole life but I thought maybe i could manifest it.

ANYWAYS, and you’ve probably already guessed it, but the reason I’m not so active anymore is because I did eventually find a job. a really good one that I’m enjoying so much and I’m so happy at. Finally, I’m feeling like myself again, like I’m living that life in London as a twenty something that I’d see everyone on tiktok living!! Like I’m finally just having fun, going out with friends, being active, having money to spend on fun things etc.

and it feels so surreal and crazy because when i was depressed and jobless, it made me doubt myself so much. Like the constant rejections and failed interviews made me doubt myself and lowered my self esteem so much and I thought I’d NEVER achieve this life that i have now! And I don’t want to jinx it but I literally thank God every day for finally granting me this because I really feel like I would’ve gotten worse and worse and IDEK.

But back to the main point, and so because of my new job I just don’t have that much time for tumblr anymore. But this isn’t a goodbye post… not at all! I find that when I’m super busy in life is also when I get the most motivated to write! Like for example in summer 2022 I was on here so much and that was the summer I had the most fun, was the most busy. I think when I’m busy in life, I get motivated to write.

Which I believe is the case right now, because I’m SO motivated to complete all my stories, I keep thinking about them and writing them slowly, so please don’t think anything is abandoned! I just wanted to make this post to be more transparent about what’s been going on in my life and what had been going on these past two years. That maybe someone else going through something similar can see that eventually, everything does work out.

Anddd I don’t really know how to end this. I just want to say, yall don’t understand just how thankful I am for having this blog, this platform, to write my stories. For having you guys. Because who knows how much worse my mental state would’ve been these past two years when I didn’t have ANYTHING else going for me, if I hadn’t had this blog it would’ve been so much worse.

Thank you so much for believing in me and enjoying my stories and always always letting me know how much you enjoy them. And I’ll say the truth; I know everyone says that engagement on tumblr has been bad lately but I can say that bc of you guys I have literally never EVER had this issue. And that’s not me being big headed, that’s just the truth and it makes me so happy and grateful. Yall always came through for me and still do now! Every time I think my fic is going to flop, you guys come through for me. I appreciate it so much. You guys have no idea how much you helped me when I was at my lowest. And continue to.

Many thanks

Me 🩷🩷🫶🏼🫶🏼

[chrissturniolosbitch]

NEEDY

a/n- this is very bad, and random (i also made this at 12am on a school night!)

warnings- oral, creampie, use of y/n, caught, and language

summary- y/n gets caught staring at matts hands, so he does something about it.

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"bro y/n are you listening?"

chris says suddenly snapping me out of my trance, i was to busy studying matts hand to be listening, "um yea." i lied. Ive been looking at matts hands for the past 35 minutes

wondering what great things they would do to me.

"then re say one fucking word i said!" chris snapped at me leaving me speechless, "thats what i thought" chris said in a know it all way leaning back onto the couch getting comfortable.

ding

i got a snapchat notification from, 'matt?' i thought to myself.

i opened my phone looking up at matt not understanding why he couldnt just tell me whatever he was snapping me about.

'oh shit its a photo' i thought to myself furrowing my eyebrows almost automatically clicking the image

'holy shit' i was not expecting to see a picture of his dick.

"wdf is this matthew?"

"you think i dont see you staring at me? not just me but my hands?"

"idek what youre talking about matt."

"go to my room. naked. now."

read 1:43 am

as soon as i read the last sentence he sent me i got up and started walking to his room, "where are you going y/n?" matt asked knowing exactly where the fuck i was headed.

"um." i cleared my throat, "im h-headed to your room. I dont feel to good." I already could feel my cunt dripping in arousle, "im gonna head to bed too then" matt said standing up smirking at me, "oh okay." i said turning back around practically sprinting to his room, him following behind me.

as soon as we entered his room he grabbed me by the waist, "fuck matt" i said pulling my shirt off.

"damn ma you roaming free 'round here?" he said hooking his mouth to my left boob, since i didnt have a bra on.

matt moved us over from his door frame to his bed, throwing me down moving his mouth from my left boob to my right.

"shit baby, can i taste you." he said this statement more as a demand rather than a question, "anything you want matt" i said tugging at his waistband. All he did was nod, and with a tic of approval i pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift motion

his rock hard dick slapping his stomach, that shit was bout 8-9 inches.

"fuck matt." i said as he pulled down my shorts and laced panties down painfully slow, "i want you to taste me already" i said removing my legs from the last peice of clothing covering me

"say no more" he said giggling, going down on me im one swift motion.

as soon as his tongue hit my clit, immediate pleasure spred throughout my body. Waves of enjoyment sprung through my body

"shit im already so close matt please" i said gripping his hair bucking my hips into his mouth, "cum in my mouth baby" as soon as those 5 words left his mouth the knot in my stomach became undone

slowly matt stopped and kissed me, "isnt it your turn matt?" i said cupping the side of his face staring into his peircing blue eyes, "shit. If im being honest... i came already. twice."

"matt what the fu-" i was about to finish my sentence before i heard a ding from my phone

it was chris

"you both are nasty as fuck." chris stated arguably correct.

i rolled my eyes, and showed matt. We both looked at each other and started bursting out laughing

"i know!" is all i replied with before shutting my phone off and kissing matt

"thank you matt." i said looking at him, "any time." he said kissing me one last time.

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i hate this. I HATE THIS. i hate my life 💕

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 165 spoilers and thoughts below the cut that im not terribly late on this time yippee!

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.

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what if i went up to you and stared at you like this

HAHAHAHAHAAA I LOVE THIS PANEL SO SO MUCH

ive been sending this on like all my socmeds and to all my mutuals/irls. im tormenting them with it it's just so fucking cute and silly . puppy dog eyes javier. pleading emoji. he's just so fucking silly ALKJDFLSDKF HELL I MADE IT MY DISCORD PFP ITS SO GOOFY I LOVE IT SM HAHAHA CUTE CUTE CUTE

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

silly panels aside back to the top!

lloyd. stop hurting me oh god he looks so tired and gaunt and,,, lifeless. it HURTS seeing him like this, the life he once had just,,, stripped from him.

LIKE I WANTED TO SEE HIM WITH HIS HAIR DOWN AND MESSY BUT NOT LIKE THIS BRUH WHAT THE HELL SOB SOB SOB

the invitation oh my god. its so silly goofy but also so so personal its cute as hell its stupid looking but in the most affectionate way possible. the people of the estate really REALLY care about him and god idek if lloyd realizes that bc literally just after this, he apologizes to everyone for not being able to things for them anymore

not even able to get back up to get back to the bed GOD I FEEL SICK

but it doesnt matter anymore whether or not lloyd can still protect them, the estate has come to care for him so much , its not his protection they want they just fucking love him and he doesnt realize that i feel so fucking ill. lloyd i need you to open your eyes and look at this beautiful land, this beautiful home you've built with your own two hands. ITS NOT OVER YET PLEASE GOD ITS NOT OVER

and then lloyd without second thought chooses javier to live. because he really thinks hes just an extra getting in the way, a burden, a bug that shouldnt be there. so he thinks its fine if he, as a side character, is the one that dies SOMEONE PUNCH ME.

he looks so fucking SMALL. alone and in the dark IM GONNA EXPLODE INTO TEN BILLION PIECES. who wrote this fuckass program. SWEAR TO GOD IM COMIN DOWN TO FIX IT MYSELF GOD DAMMIT

AND THEN THE SYSTEM TEXTBOX COMING IN IM SO GRATEFUL PLEASE HELP HIM SOB SOB SOB

im super duper heartwarmed to see that whoever is running the blue textbox is on suho's side. it has never been impartial, huh,,, it just wants to see his wish come true. ooogh my heart.

lloyd looks,,, strangely peaceful here. is he like, paused rn? im not really sure what the system box is up to, but hopefully thisll delay anything from happening while javier is concocting his plan,,,

speaking of!

FATE KICKING IN LIKE TEN TIMES WORSE IS SO DAMN SCARY. THE MULTIPLE GIGATITANS OH GODDD im so fucking terrified. javier please hurry!!! he looks rlly cool on draggy here hehe

I THINK JAVIER AND ALICIAS EXCHANGE TOO IS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS. alicia, upon only seeing javier, immediately is suspicious of lloyd scheming something. she thinks the two of them are plotting again, hence the "what are you up to".

the problem is that it's just javier on this plan. there is no lloyd directing him, so javiers reaction is SO silly fun bc i. dont think he thinks of himself as being. scheming?? bc he seems SO confused at alicia's skepticism here HADLFKJSDLFKJ ITS SO FUNNY

I REALLY THINK JAVIER WAS GENUINELY A LITTLE CONFUSED AS TO WHY ALICIA WAS QUESTIONING HIM PLEAAASEEE

i think javier believes he's just going about business as usual. doing what he can to protect his lord, as he does, all the time, the usual. sure that involves getting an angel to ask the queen for the eye of summer, but that's certainly not plotting on the same scale that lloyd does. javier isnt a schemer. he just does whats necessary to protect the one he cares about the most. hence his goofy innocent puppy eyes, because its not like hes "up" to anything. idk how accurate this assessment is, so pls correct me if im wrong, but I LOVE IT A LOT HES JUST SO FUCKING DEDICATED I LOVE U JAVIER MVP!!!!!

and then raphie shows up yay!! EXCEPT HELP WHY DID HE GET SUCKED BACK IMMEDIATELY WHAT THE HELL he was so underprepared. poor guy. getting thrown around like this sob sob

ALICIA ASKING IF THIS IS SMTH JAVIER KNEW ABT OR IF THEY WERE PLANNING SOMETHING AND THEN JAVIER BEING GENUINELY FUCKING SHOCKED HELP MEEEE "maybe its not a prank...?" LMFAOOOOO

i mentioned this in the last ep post but like. again javier wears his heart on his sleeve he's so fucking protagonist its unreal. hell, not even on his sleeve, he has his heart out on his damn palm sob sob

i think he's shocked here bc he didnt expect raphaels call to play out like that, he prolly thought theyd issue it more seriously. the issue with this being so half-hearted is now alicia isnt absolutely certain that this is the will of the heavens, so she's less inclined to follow along. it doesnt help that her board of nobles (seriously why does she keep these bozos around they just keep yapping) are arguing back and forth abt whether or not to listen. this is kind of a little wrench in the smoothness of the plan... everything now hinges on alicia's whim now.

anyway two more panels javier being menacing/blunt as hell and alicia thinking on her throne,,, god they are so fucking. awesome i love them so much

anyway that is ALL! for this week! the episode felt a little bit slow to be honest, but i think that's because the events of this ep are little things that build up to whats next, so i dont mind it at all (especially since the last couple of eps have been super fast lately)! i really really enjoy this buildup and im super excited to see what happens next,,,

see yall next week! lloyd please be okay! or ill cry! like for real!

[fatallyaddictedtofiction]

Help help help help work sucks so bad so so so bad im tired my feet hurt my patronising boss has been working with me all day its super busy the kids are screaming and crying a dog shat on the floor fucccloionnbggg hell pls i want to go home im on the verge of panicking and idek why because its been worse than this b4 and ive bee fine

[bbina]

i fckng hate second chances with every fiber of my being and every living cell in my body. once its over, its over. if u fckd up IMMEDIATELY ✂️✂️✂️ i hate it when a characters get second chances after fckng it up real bad like NO U DO NOT DESERVE ANOTHER CHANCE AND OTHER MC ALSO DOES NOT DESERVE TO RISK GETTING HURT AGAIN

on the contrary tho, for btl, i do think yn should get another chance? is it another chance? well, wonbin didnt really give her a chance to explain herself, he went ahead of himself and created assumptions. and i know that every one says yn is the problem cus had she not offered the fake dating set up this wouldnt have happened BUT wonbin had no problem agreeing to it so....wouldnt really say yn is the root problem. the root problem is their lack of effective communication skills, emotional management/control and listening skills!!! wonbin im sorry but running away was a stupid af thing to do and i know ur hurt but u literally made assumptions after seeing 2ppl hug. babes ppl can hug platonically, believe me. thats all i have to say. *bows, drops mic and leaves stage*

im sorry for the sudden rant when this discourse was already over like a week ago i could not help it. ive been following u for a while but i am a silent reader and this is my first time sending an ask to anyone here in general. im so nervous. is my english okay? i swear i know proper punctuations but im too lazy to do it rn rip. i just want to say ive never been so invested in an eng au cus i usually read the ones in my native language cus THEM ANGST HIT DIFFERENT BRO anyway, i love ur writing sm <33 makes me wanna start writing again as well if it werent for my busy af shed (graduating student things). cant wait for the next updates ✨️🫶🫶

but the angst material is tew gewd don’t you think? second chances trope is nice and all if done right 🤪 maybe some groveling here and there and viola! perfection

most valid btl theory ive seen 😫 they’re both dumb 🤝 and did mistakes,, (yn made a bigger mistake tho) but point still stands

nah ur sudden rant about the week old discourse is perfectly okay. any rant about btl is 👌 cus im curious on how each person takes in the story and seeing a bunch of different reactions is what keeps me going 😫🤝 AND AGAIN IM HONORED TO BE ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE YOU SENT AN ASK TO 🙏 your english is great!!!! thank you so much for reading!! and i hope whatever i put out or something makes u want to go back to writing 🙏 i myself is a graduating student too but i still find the time to insert my hobby which is this because i love it so much and its honestly my stress reliever (contrary to popular belief i write more eloquently when i’m either stressed or having a headache idek why lol maybe it gets my brain juice all worked up)

[nokkihy]

i just realized i haven’t posted a fic in so long omg 😭😭 idek why ive been so busy lately and ive kinda drifted away from atsv .. i might make a side blog for my other fics that aren’t atsv so it doesn’t look weird on this account but then this account would just be dead 😣 i could just delete all my posts but UGH i dont know

[jxvipike]

hi!! i miss seeing your reblogs on the dash, hope you're doing well 💓

oh hey!! sorry about that my uni classes just started after a couple of weeks due to strikes going on! ive literally got tabs of fics open but i can't read it cuz my busy re-binging greys anatomy (idek why!) yea its been a hectic week with classes, procrastination, me trying to meet pedro pascal since he's here in london. thank you so much for checking in! i love that <3

[bedboat]

am doing my best to exist and communicate at least sometimes

feelin very easily overwhelmed and generally low batteries. miss people. tired tho, and my brain just sorta freezes/stalls/trips when its time to make words happen, so ive been giving it the think time it seems to need.

just me and my little "gay alien farm" on stardew valley

my current chickens are named "bok" "HENry" "waffles" and the void chicken is "princess". the duck is named "wack", the horse is l'egg (i usually name it noodles bc its legs look noodley when it runs hee hee) and the cows are "cocoa pebs" and "kashi". dog is just "fuzzboy" .... the dog brings me joy lol i love this silly little game.

dont have a goat yet (tomorrow ill be goat ready) but yknow. soon.

ive never done the dating or marriage part of sdv

i just befriend everyone unless they become unbearable (if i could date krobus or the fisherman i probably would, lmao. idek why the fisherman, but he seems cool for a scrappy older guy living on the docks.) and then go about my escapist business without accommodating an npc. tho i can see how thats like the dog but for romantic people. huh.

anyway here i am trying to at least put some not super complicated thoughts in some place

often when i wanna share smth i get confused and/or complicate, then get overwhelmed and bail.

one thing at a time

[krunchylegs]

hi i havent been here in a min

i literally hate how ill have a few perfect days of eating in a low cal range but then when i start socializing i almost feel like i have to 'prove' im eating something to avoid suspicion but also i want the ppl around me to eat more but then my dumbass ends up eating more. also my mum caught me getting rid of half the chips on my plate and i was terrified shed ask if i was trying to starve or something 😭 idk if im paranoid but i think my parents r kind of aware that me and my sisyer have weird eating habits (i think they focus on my sister more than me anyway), bc she used to be underweight so i think that sometimes they get suspicious of us. like every now and again my mum will say something like "dont be trying to starve yourselves" and its like do i look like im fucking starving?? no i dont so im not.

its actually so annoying and i really hope that ill be able to drop weight without it being suspicious, but literally no one cares or notices it at all, i think im the only one that can see it :/.

also weight update, my weight fluctuated up to 54kg (kms) but i managed to gradually bring it back down to 51kg, im not sure how much ill weigh in at tomorrow but im praying it doesnt shoot back up bc i decided to be a fucking big back today. it felt like food was everywhere and i had to eat 5 meals in front of other ppl today in social settings so i couldnt even avoid it. i dont wanna pull out the "im not hungry" too much bc for years it would be a routine of eating something at my friends house every time i visit (bc his mum likes to make sure ppl are fed) and then its like my mums all like "you better not be starving yourself" when i say im not hungry or not in the mood to eat, like most of the time im genuinely not even hungry, like idek why i eat sometimes, like maybe its boredom, also i think sometimes i become a bit obsessed with food so then i start craving it more, but when im busy or just not interested in it then its like whatever, but i cant even lie im a "foodie" and when youve grown up with easy access to eating highly palatable fatty sugary foods your whole life, you end up developing a sweet tooth, but tbh ive been quite good with my food choices on my good days, which is most days really, like i try not exclude food groups because i dont think thats a good idea 😭 and plus it makes hiding this a lot easier, but the meals that i prepare for myself are low calorie but i feel like people r gonna like find out and stop me from reaching my gw, like i at least want to not feel like a fucking balloon for once

[primroses-n-deadleaves]

i dont have anyone to talk to rn, not out of anything bad theyre just busy and also have their own issues and so on; its okay still it leaves me wondering what went wrong? i only have two ppl that i can rlly talk to like both socialize and also to the extremes of venting, i try to help them too but im not rlly good at it, and so, whenever theyre missing or busy, i feel very alone, which is funny becuz im quite fortunate to have a semi active group on discord with cool ppl but instead of trying to get rid of my loneliness ig i jus self isolate idek whats wrong with me now, all the bad stressful stuff passed, for now,, mom was angry cuz my room got infested with termites, she got rid of them and i was left with the task of cleaning the stain,; and i jus discovered theres more termites to my side that went unnoticed by mom and that are eating the table and chair,; she doenst know of that yet thou so i can handle but i havent, the weekend approaches which is when well be doing all of this, i could try to take care of it before saturday before she notices and gets even more angry at me but here i am writing instead.

i feel very useless, my car is still at the repair shop so i can go out and buy the insecticide i need to get rid of the termitees, its at the repair shop cuz i let it break,, when it broke i called mom and she was at work so she asked me if i had any friends that could come and help me, all my friends are little ppl on my phone stuck to the other side of screen,; she had to call her friend which i was lucky that he was available and came to help me i felt very alone and useless and without any friends theres only so much online friends can do and i dont blame them, im also an online friend to them and i cant rlly do much for them either; that said, i rlly want irl friends.... but those "friends" i, stupid highschool drama ruined all my friendships its been 4 years and im still suffering the consequences of it; and also i rlly miss them, even if they were shitty and used me i still miss them;; maybe if i had acted like nothing id probably still be used sure but maybe i wouldve had someone to call when my car broke down

also im unemployed, with a gambling addiction of all things,, ive been thinking of getting a cheaper addiction- well, cheaper in the long run, something like smoking, not drinking, drinking is a bit expensive and my family from dad's side has a history of alcoholism,, so smoking or vaping, ruin my lungs,, im pretty sure a pack of cigarettes is cheaper than putting 100 into gacha games; why not look for a job? great question, i have, maybe not hard enough but im a bit too depressed if u cant tell by the writing; ive also tried to do online job but its rlly taxing to do a lot of work making vids and such to see no profit and ik ik it comes with time but i dont have time i need money now the funniest part is that i tried to apply for military jobs yknow the army and even those have rejected me, yes im overweight according to bmi, thats all they needed to disqualify me,; so instead i spend my time leeching money of mom, i feel very guilty, im a horrible child,, i sobbed when i was getting my meds and it ended up costing 30 bucks to buy becuz i sent it to a damn walgreens instead of a local pharmacy that accepts my insurance, i lost my meds and i could get refill but itll end up costing until i change the location which i cant change until my next visit

i wanted to kill myself when mom told me i could be working rn and that she was right, i could be working rn but instead i was laying on the bed which isnt even mine becuz i sleep on my sisters room taht has ac

the feeling had dissipated for a moment, well, it left when i repressed my feelings, which writing about it makes me confront those feelings so the suicidal ideation is back; in moments like this i think about one certain episode of fairly odd parents, yknow the one where timmy sees how the world would be if he never existed and sees that everyone around him is doing better without him? i dont remember the ending, i just think about it and think im better off dead, literally, i bring no good to the world

if u happen to stumble upon this, dw, i have a strangely strong will to live, last time i rlly tried to kill myself and acted, i called the hotline, which took me to the hospital where i was fortunate its a good hospital and got treated nicely,; bottom line is, and i quite hate this part of myself, ill live,; this stupid survival instict is strong enough to keep me from dying, i rlly hope it wasnt , life honestly isnt worth living,, the world is a shit place

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No way that’s actually so cool…. that mindset is actually just really impressive to me because if I was not as interested in something I feel like instead I’d just be less motivated to make it a masterpiece! You COOKED for your event fr I got converted via your event and works generally into liking or even just appreciating some characters more (I’m ngl I think white butterfly was one of my favs too something about the story was just so >>>>> started my conversion to Hiorism and my spiral into your masterlists I live for fwtkac saga though for obv reasons LMAO)

Bro I was literally reading through your work like SHE TOOK THE ASSIGNMENT SERIOUSLY??? STOP BC THE SOCCER PLAYER EGO AND RELIGIOUS TRAUMA IGAGURI??? Goodbye those plots cook I CANNOT see igaguri pulling someone….omg imagine bestie Noel??? Stop that dynamic would be too funny. Also! About neutrality you’re doing like. Too good of a job. It’s been awhile but as I mentioned before I found peregrine a looong time ago and then came back to it but besides that I think cherry tree was one of the other first works of yours I read? This was all before I put the pieces together that you wrote everything LMAO but I enjoyed both sm and I definitely couldn’t tell you didn’t like Rin as much LOL

LITERALLY the worst is when I have to write something like an essay or report on spot like ok get ready for an entire evolution of my thoughts then because we are not ending where we started LMAO

There’s SOOO many possibilities please BLLK managers I’m begging you to take this marketing opportunity…please….Ive seen some series make some not great business decisions imo so please don’t be one of them!! We NEED ego origin story at some point or another like…you also can’t just drop that symbolism in his volume cover and now elaborate anything

FR honestly I think we just have to wait for s2 hype kinda like jjk…I don’t expect it to be the same degree but something similar because it’s reaaallly popular in Japan right now and even Asia in general sooooo

PLEASE KARASU DESERVES ONE TOO!! With all the Karasu we’ve seen lately there’s gotta be some awakening/evolution coming soon…

UHHSHEHSH I think it is my app…I tried looking at other profiles and some work and some don’t….??? I can’t find a specific trend but idk I’ll do the usually on off delete app or something shshshgsshhs but THANK YOUUU that would be much appreciated!!! Sorry for having to go through you to ask LOL

**this is so random but ok so I type out all my asks in a separate note so I don’t accidentally lose everything if I close tumblr but I have no idea how to do strikethrough here so I usually wait to do it on tumblr so I put quotation marks to remind myself but I forgot to go back and do that for my last ask I mean to strikethrough itoshi hate but now it’s just sitting as quotation marks SHSGGSSH in my mind ik it’s not a big deal but it doesn’t capture the same vibe ugh….anyways just thought I should mention that cause it also looks weird just as it is now oops

-Karasu anon

THANK YOUUU there’s def times when a character is hard for me…for some reason i have the MOST trouble writing isagi??? idek why he’s a relatively simple character but i just cannot get into a mindset where i can write for him which is crazy 😭 the most i could do is have him be a side love interest i think (like a pi inumaki and tullia variant) but it’s crazy because he’s so popular and also just such a random character to find difficult to write for 😓

from just a writing standpoint white butterfly and the instrument are my favs!! from an enjoyment standpoint though fwtkac is the winner it was just so fun LMAOO…the way i still have a couple of requests left from that event is insane though 😭💔 i thought i’d be done by now tbh 😩 actually ykw if karasu’s version of bfb didn’t end up so long i bet i WOULD be done already!! but i’m in sooo deep now 😋 i can’t wait to finish and post it AHH it’s taking me a bit but i am determined i will get it out soon!!

HAHAHA IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE…pls soccer player ego who slowly drives away everyone he loves by going insane over his failure to be a striker + sarcastic deadpan bestie noa who does his best to comfort you but lowkey can’t would be an insanely fun combo!! and omg pls i can’t imagine igaguri pulling either 😰 it would be such a majestic heartbreaking fic and then you’d be reminded that it’s abt IGAGURI of all people and it’s just like WHY 😭 like a reverse crack fic HDKDJSJ

OKAY YAYYY i’m glad that it doesn’t come through!! especially with a request event i don’t want to make anyone sad by hating on their favs/doing a shitty job when they came to me and asked me to write for them yk?? ofc there’s a difference in word count and all (cherry tree being like 6k words roughly vs fwtkac being…well. you know.) but not in quality!! at least that’s the goal 😄

KANESHIRO KEEPS DROPPING THREADS ABT RANDOM STUFF AND THEN NOT ELABORATING!! like anri?? ego and noa?? whatever happened to sae?? WILDCARD?? i actually don’t mind bllk’s pacing tbh (it’s torturous when chapters are releasing but super good on reread imo) but there’s so many questions i needddd answered ASAP ✅ GET ME ON THE EXEC BOARD JUST TO APPROVE THESE SPIN-OFFS FR

i agree it’s rlly popular in asia and it’s also in a good spot because it’s kind of a blend of a typical battle shounen and sports anime (like jjk and haikyuu [never watched hq but i generally know of it]) so it can attract a diverse audience…once the battle shounen girlies give it a chance it’ll become sooo much more popular!! ik initially i was hesitant because i’m not hugely into sports so i thought it’d be boring but it’s rlly different and i obviously ended up loving it!! so hoping more people try it out and end up in that same spiral

THERE’S NO WAY WE’RE NOT GETTING SMTH he’s been featured heavily in epinagi AND keeps making cameos ik my man has GOT to be cooking because no way he’s going to end the game doing nothing…personally still holding onto the hope that he shidou and zantetsu link up to break their formation free from kunigami as that could get karasu some bonuses in terms of his offer as well as putting the focus on shidou and kunigami who are two SUPER unexplored characters that have a very shared/intertwined backstory which could then be elaborated upon!! but we shall see…atm the game is very rin kaiser isagi focused so who knows

HAHAH NEVER FEAR!! she gave me pinterest links but ngl one of them wasn’t working sooo i used one to go to the artist’s page on twitter/x/wtvr it’s called and found the art she mentioned!! here’s the link��it actually is really majestic although unfortunately i cannot read the little notes written on it 😩

LMAOOO omg don’t worry the quotation marks still got the message across fine!! and that makes sm sense bruh tumblr is so unreliable at times 😰

[count-asscrackula]

yapping under the cut because i smoke crack

ok like. can some stan girlie out there explain to me in the fucvkibg replies how the fuck people start obsessing over parasocial relationships and artists and shit?

idk like. take for example xiu xiu. i love xiu xiu, ive been waiting for 100 years for new songs, i would go to a concert if i could.

is xiu xiu married or single? what's he doing currently? where does he live? who is he friends with? what's his real name? what kind of food does he like to eat? what's his birthdate? who are his parents? these are all things i dont give a shit about. hell, i wouldnt even know xiu xiu if i passed him on the street- idek what he even looks like.

but why the fuck would i WANT to know this crap about some guy i've never met? i like his MUSIC. being good at making music doesnt make someone incredible by default. im sure he's literally just some guy, just like the rest of us.

same with youtubers. im a big fan of markiplier, always have been.

i mean, i'm sure his first name is mark, but i don't know his last name. i know what he looks like, but i probably wouldnt recognize him on the street. all i care about is that he makes videos that i think are funny. end of story.

i feel that way about movie characters, too. like the guy who plays eddie brock in venom. he's kind of hot for a man. do i know who plays him? no. do i care? also no. the ACTOR is not eddie brock in real life. so if i like eddie brock, why the hell would i be interested in mister Firstname Lastname who plays him?

idk am i just stupid or something? why do people feel like they have to get all up in someone else's business just because they like the art they make? idgi can someone explain the appeal

[scrmngtts]

i checked my last entry prior to the last one.. i can kinda feel somethings gonna happen i shouldve trusted my instincts..

OKAY SO LETS START!//

Again, im writing this to vent and journal my emotions.. nothing else. to help me cope and to help me process my thoughts better.

SATURDAY.. I invited them to go to this place to support my friends. it went well, i met his bestfriend again first we chatted for a bit and then we head over to the place.. it was fun id say.. i enjoyed.. my friends were there too it was nice seeing them as well. we had lunch together. was really nice as well cuz we get to talk and he seem to really like my friends which is really nice i like that, they were laughing and such and they were getting along. really glad on that part. idk if he ever was jealous that all my friends are mostlly gus, tbh idont think he cares so.. shrug i gues//

so yeah after we ate we went home, i said my goodbyes to my friends, they were nice i missed them so much i wanna see them again without him there to be honest.. i dont know what went in my mind why did i invitefd them.. cuz it led to things i really didnt like..

we went to his place with his bestfriend.. he said if we can just chill for a bit.. sure.. chill for a bit.. but yeah that was so.. the most awkward situation ive ever been.. tbh idek why im stilling talking to him after all this...

it is smtg really weird that i dont even wanna think about it.. or write about it.. it made me feel really uncomfy... whats worse is i dont have someone to talk to about it.. cuz its so weird i dont want anyone to know about it.. it was nust very awkward and weird and i dont knwo.. im really still all over the place just thinking about that just typing my thoughts about that makes me really uncomfortable..

so after what happened i kinda detached myself from the situation because i really dont want to deal with it i really wanna run away from it.. i realy wanna drop everything and leave i noticed that im like that i always wanted to run away when things get out of hand.. i dont fight i flight.. i just feel like i can always deal with my emotions alone, i can always think better when im on my own.

anyways.. he felt smtg was off cuz he asked me right away. also i was with his bestfriend at the time and i told her im not ok that i need some time alone and think things. so i really dont know if she told him smtg? but yeah he asked if i was okay.. i said i dont know, can u giv eme more time to think and he said yes then we can talk when im ready.. this was around maybe 7pm on a saturday night.

then around 11:30 he called me.. i dont really wanna pick up but.. i still did.. i was actually busy at the time so i told him ill call him when im done.. i finished around 1am.. then he was still up.. we were in call for like an hour and 30 mins..

idk if i wanna continue.. maybe next post?

[februaryflowers]

It’s Day 4 of Secret Santa! 🎁 I’m a pre-med student actually so you can guess how stressful that is 😖 Good luck with your studies!

I dont know what I do on my free time to be honest I’m always so busy! I used to write and play piano but I gave up on that during college. Which explains why I’m unable to give you a fic link 💔 I haven’t read a fic in a while but when I do find one I like I’ll send it to you!

Question of the day! Whats your favorite movie that you could watch over and over again? 🎞️ (Fun fact, I wanted to be a film major at some point!)

oh yeah one of my friends is a premed and he's really going through it😭 i hope you're taking care even during busy school times 💔

honestly i've kinda forgotten what i used to do for fun as well (was at a dinner with some people i'm working on a project with the other day and they asked i was like idek 😭) but i've played piano for most of my life so that's my default + something i'm tryna practice more (ive practiced twice since coming to uni 😭)

oh honestly i'm really bad at consuming visual content and also rewatching things 😭 i don't watch a lot of tv or movies (also goes for books 😭)... my attention span is kinda hard to control and keep engaged for shows/film,, there've been so many shows i think are interesting but i for the life of me cant get into them or finish them 😭 and as for rewatching i usually find it hard since my brain is already like you know the general plot you dont have to pay attention 💔 but my favorite movies in general hmm i really liked knives out and my neighbor totoro + spirited away

do you have any favs? but ooh film major? is there a reason you went for premed instead?