#ive been so angry all damn day

[elibeeline]

oh so it could still be bipolar and i just keep. forgetting i could have that and that my 'okay' months dont mean i was just being silly

[princessmyriad]

.

[werebutch]

sorry im gonna be an asshole but if my dad knew he couldnt take care of us with the progression of his diseases then why did he fight so hard for custody. im 20 yrs old i shouldnt still be thinking abt this but still like. a billion years of neglect the fact that he is sick is irrelevant when he knew very well that he wouldnt meet our basic needs. sorry. and now its on me to take care of 2 mostly-adult teenagers who hate my guts and still think they're 12 years old and cant go to the store. or clean. or whayever. AGHHHHHHH

[b0nelessdoodles]

How am I supposed to work when I just wanna go home and be deranged about Narinder and Shamura and make a whole ass video about it fuck you capitalism

[jamesbukkakebarnes]

.

[midnite-c6]

ive been thinking of a scenario where namgyu’sgf!reader has been secretly hooking up with thanos as pay back for namgyu being a shitty boyfriend.. makes me die😩

meow so hot bruh thanos is so sexy it makes me so sad 😿 NEED THAT! pt. 2 | pt. 3

thanos(choi su-bong) x nam-gyu'sgf!reader imagine!! <33

warnings: 18+, cheating

you, nam-gyu, and su-bong were truly a powerful trio, you guys were all tight-woven friends being stringed together of partying and drugs before you decided to start dating nam-gyu, nothing changed much, but it was weird to know what was once your homie is now someone you fuck on the daily.

sadly, now nam-gyu just sucks, as a boyfriend, and as a person in general. he doesn't even take the time of his day to touch or even kiss you! ignoring all your texts with an "i'm busy." was stupid! he was stupid! what was he doing in the club anyway?? was he banging another chick?? why shouldn't you do the same?

you'd go visit his club in search of your boyfriend, only running into su-bong, or thanos as he's known for. "señorita?" oh that nick-name you were so familiar of. you'd think su-bong would still be out of the country, since he's gotten that big rap battle overseas, or because he's trying to escape his debt but you're still pleased to see run into him. "su-bong!, damn it, have you seen nam-gyu?" he pouted dramatically "i haven't seen you in weeks and ya' immediately talk about your boyfriend? whore." the last word was mumbled under his breath. you roll your eyes, you were used to giving and getting mean nicknames anyway, "fuck you, i heard that! but.. c'mon, have you??" "of course not, i just got here, angel, why are you looking for him?" you sigh. "because he's my boyfriend. what else?" thanos just remained looking at you, as if telling you to spill more. ".. and i think he's fucking another girl." he gasps, as a sarcastic reaction, "whaaat? no way, who would've thought." you furrow your brows. "what?! you know about this??" he shakes his head, chuckling to himself "nah. but he's a man, and the same pussy gets old after some time." he said, like it was a matter-of-fact thing that you should know.

"oh that jerk, i'm gonna fucking kill hi-" thanos pulls you back to him. "don't blame the guy, it's just normal boy stuff, you get it, right?" you scoff, "no. plus, my pussy doesn't just ... "get old!" " he tilts his head, "ehhhh. you've been dating for like what, 1 year? even i'll get pretty tired of it." you groaned. "i didn't ask you, su-bong. i know he's... he's better than that." he places a hand on the back of your neck, lightly petting you. "mmmm, if you think about it, if he's fucking another girl, how does it make you feel, babe?" you don't think, you respond immediately. "angry! that's what." "...and?" "it makes me want to ..i dunno. do something."

"guess you're in luck that i came here then."

"huh?" and before you know it, you're being dragged to one of the VIP rooms..

nsfw below!!->

"fuck.. man, all that days of fucking and god, he hasn't even stretched this cunt." he says as he guides your hips in a speedened pace, being kind enough to push his hips up to the rhythm of yours, he'd moan out from how you were clenching him. "p-please.."

"you're so tight, shit." in these moments, you'd forget about your shitty boyfriend, how you're cheating on nam-gyu inside his very own club. thanos pulls out before the two of you could ever release, making you go on your knees as he lines up his dick right inside your mouth. you could see him grabbing his phone and facing it above you, a red light near the camera. the video captured your muffled, disgusting moans against his dick, you seemed challenged, it seemed like you were trying to prove you were still good at it. it could also capture su-bong's praises, ones you could barely hear.

"you're doing so goood.."

"how could anyone ever get tired of this cunt?."

"you should look at yourself right now, baby."

and after all that, he'd place you on his lap, it wasn't much of an aftercare, but it was good enough.

"you enjoyed it? yeah?" you nod. "i just .. hope he doesn't find out..hmph.." "yeah, yeah, he's my best friend, can't let that happen." you smiled from the assurance, resting your head on su-bong's shoulders. you were too fucked out to hear how he was tapping the send button on his phone, sending his good ol' homie the video of you sucking his cock, typing away to send the text 'got your fine shyt sucking me off bro, what happened?', they're both jerks, guess the both of them really can't care less about you and your feelings huhu :<

also dat pussy is power 🙏🏻 this is so mean to namgyu but at rhe same time the prompt is so hot. hehe.

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

My BFF is a Vampire

18+

BLOOD SUCKERS

Characters: ot7 x reader

Warnings: mentions of violence, described sex scenes, death, consumption of alcohol and blood, threesome, male and male intercourse, explicit sexual interactions, sharp objects, knife play, wax play, blood play, and more.

Genre: supernatural, fantasy, vampire, angst, reversed harem, best friends to lovers.

🩸My Master List🩸

Intro;

I knew something was wrong in the small city I’ve been living ever since I was born here and after I graduated from high school I was sure it had nothing to do with the fact that the whole year this small hell of a city called Spring Villa always rained every day.

Every god damn day.

Not that i was complaining, one summer during a high school trip to California was enough for me to realize hot weather was not for me. One day to be more specific, it was my first time and everything seemed so more alive and colorful. But all come to an end since i had to spend the rest of the trip at the hospital with an IV inside my arm due to being exposed to the sun for too long, just one afternoon which was the same as everyone else did but i was the only one who almost died that day for burning on the sun and end up looking like a hot Cheeto. After that i even started to enjoy the cold humid air hitting my face every day when i left to work, the only thing it didn’t change was my hatred for the rain every morning. Getting wet before work was not very enjoyable, everyone could agree on that note.

But the beautiful weather of the city was not the most uncanny thing about it, it has been almost ten years since a serial killer was circling around the Spring Villa. I was only a teen when everything became known to everyone in the city that something wasn’t right, so many bodies were found around Spring Villa along the years people began to stay at home locked away from everything. Some left the city for once and never came back, those who stayed were people who had nowhere else to go, like me.

My father was terrified of the accidents involving the serial killer in town and he too left before anyone else, leaving me and my mother behind. I couldn’t blame him especially after my brother ended up becoming one of the victims, when the police officer called for my parents to identify the body it didn’t felt real to me. I was not allowed to go since at the time i was underage but, I didn’t even got a chance to say goodbye either. My parents didn’t do a funeral for him, it was all too much to bear so instead he was cremated and thrown on a river on the west side of Spring Villa his favorite place to hide with his friends. Ever since that happened my parents have not been the same, I knew that sooner or later this was bound to happen. When father left it was the last straw of sanity of my mother, she became an alcoholic and well… not good.

I’ve been working at the Spring Grill ever since I graduated high school, apart from so many people leaving the city many others came from cities around the town to get a bit of incloser about the serial killer of Spring Villa, he was never caught and that mystery seemed to amaze many tourists around town.

People from all over came to my stupid silly little city to make videos about the killer of my brother, at first I was so angry at them I wished they just didn’t came at all but, over the years it became dull and empty inside my heart. I had more to worry about then that and since I needed money to pay the rent I was more then happy so many tourist came to Spring Villa.

After all I meet my best friend like that.

Notes: Hello readers! Here’s a new story for all of you I truly hope you guys enjoy this work as much as you all been enjoying my old works. This story has been going around my mind a lot and I thought what better time to write then now? So here it is! Taglist is open so leave your request in the comments and I’ll add you! Love all of you, Author. 🩵

[puppywilliams]

just to ruin things.

summary: you and ellie’s cant run from your past forever.

warnings: toxic!ellie, mentions of drugs (cocaine), mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of relapsing, angst, implied bi reader

a/n: hi! ive been sooo very busy but heres a little smth i wrote! this might be boring but i need to post </3 also listened to memories by conan gray while writing this if you care

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some stupid party got you exactly where you always ended up. in ellies truck. it made you so fucking angry the way she always swooped in to save that day like she was some superhero, like she was doing you a favor. you couldn’t blame her too much, you always gave in like a lost dog finding its owner.

part of you Needed her to save you, the unfortunate truth you weren’t ready to unfold, its one you couldn’t face in fear of what it might do to the wall you’ve spent Too long already rebuilding, 7 months and 13 days of rebuilding to be exact. you tell yourself you’re not counting, its just an estimate. like this, its just friendly, this is what friends do. they drive you home. you’re not even that drunk, you knew you were getting into her car, you knew you were letting her right back into the place you needed to keep her out of the most.

her eyes were straight on the road with her knuckles around the steering wheel. you looked at her, freckles splatted across her face like god himself hand picked each one. “youre a fucking idiot you know that? all over that guy? you dont even know him. he couldve slipped something in your drink, youre gonna get yourself killed.” she spat venom through the atmosphere, turning everything sour like she managed to do every damn time.

“fuck you.” you spat back. it wasnt worth it, never was nor ever had been. but ellie argued either way.

“what? you still cant handle the truth?” she piled on, it was like a never ending mound of what you did that she didn’t like or approved of, it pushed your buttons in a way ellie knew it would. when you spend enough time together, the memories you’ve engraved into your head don’t expire. ellie knew you like she practiced your coding. every nook, every cranny, every corner, every place she knew and altered as she pleased. ruining you every time without so much as an apology. it angered you so much, for someone who swore she didnt care, it hurt.

you looked down and fiddled with the hem of your dress, hyper focusing in on one thing so you didnt burst like a can of shaken soda, youd been on the edge of your breaking point since you had broken up. so many words you didn’t say, so many words you wish you didn’t say.

“cant speak now? what? have too much to drink? bet you remember that guy you were all over. probably remember him more than you remember anything about me.” she pierced daggers right into your pressure points, only fueling the fire that endorsed your temper.

you took a breath before turning your head to look at her. “you dont have the right ellie. youre a fucking loser. you know that?” you looked right at her. the way you knew she despised when she couldn’t meet your gaze. “i dont Need you to save me, we’re long past that. what i do and who i do is none of your god damn business!” you threw your hands into the air finally letting yourself lose your calm facade, not missing a beat in fear she might cut in and ruin what you know you Need to say, for yourself and maybe its a plead. you dont think, only spoke.

“youre acting like when we were together you didnt drink your ass off every fucking night. sitting on My couch, watching My tv, crawling into My bed pissed out of your mind, you dont have any idea do you? none?” you breathed heavily with tears in your eyes looking Right at her before moving your gaze again to meet the hem of you dress. knowing the battle you say is with ellie, is actually with yourself. its one you always lose. “im so fucking m-mad at you still..i dont need this, or to see you at all…id listen to silence and see nothing but black just to know id never get confirmation you still existed..i cant stand you..” ellie stayed silent, the way she always did. white knuckles gripped over the steering wheel, her jaw clenched, but you see the gloss over her eyes. you see the way she breathes like shes making sure its the perfect rhythm.

you closed your eyes, the silence was so deafening you thought you got your wish, but she opened her mouth proving you wrong and teaching you once again to not get your hopes up.

“you want me to got care anymore? you fucking got it.” she put it simple, you should be grateful but you cant seem to be. its your weakness, and its one you’ll never strengthen, her weight always dragging you back down like a purgatory, but your shackles will never be lifted, so potentially its a sugarcoated way of calling it hell.

you turn to look out the window. “thank god.” you utter under your breath, a chunk of your soul hopes she doesn’t hear, of course she does. “dont ask me to pick you up at 11pm anymore. im not coming.”

she makes a good point, a great one even. one that not even you could manage to figure out if you tried.

“then stop picking up.” its all you say, its all you Needed to say. you glance at the way shes losing internal fight in the torn up seat of her truck.

“you know i cant do that..” she whispers as a single tear falls from her eye. she tries to wipe it away with the knuckle bound to her thumb before you see. “i know.”

“then why? why pull me in to push me away? why?! why do you do it?” you fall silent, its a conversation you hadn’t prepared for, but its a hole you dug so long ago it feels like centuries, but like every past, it catches up to you. its something so long overdue it churns your stomach like a knot in a rope you cant seem to unravel. “what am i meant to do ellie? come crawling back to your doorstep and repeat everything i spent so long trying to mend myself back together over? seeing your face is the worst kind of relapse. its a reminder of what i worked for, to self sooth for months and act like kissing someone else doesn’t still feel like cheating. i do what i Have to do ellie, i cant plead with you, not when youre not mine and im not yours, because just like you. i have no fucking right..” your voice shook with emotions you didn’t know you we’re still capable of feeling.

ellie doesn’t try to hide her tears anymore, its pointless. its something rare, something you so selfishly cherish. its like feeding a sweet tooth that cant be settled unless you have empathy, you crave it every day knowing you never got it. you tell yourself shes crying for You and not yourself, its the fix of what will get you through this conversation, through tonight, and through next week.

“you think thats what i want?” she dryly chuckles before scoffing, using her pointer and thumb to wipe at her tear ducts. you fucking hate it. “you think thats what i want? i want you to be happy believe it or not, even if its not me. but god damn, it kills me seeing you with someone else and you dont even Care.”

you take her words as something thats malicious, but deep down somewhere in your heart you know its just the truth, maybe you’re not ready for this, you might never be. “you made that decision a long time ago. its out of my control now.”

her face hardened and her eyes stayed put on the road ahead. “you gave up on me. you put everyone else and everything else before me, was i supposed to stay?” she breathes out through her nostrils. you looked at her like she had said something outrageous, like it was a life altering claim.

“thats what you think huh?” you scoffed rolling your eyes and crossing your arms over your chest looking back out the window.

she raised her voice, her temper always did run thin. something you didn’t miss. “yeah, it is!” she bit the inside of her cheek and took a deep inhale.

“no ellie. i tried, and thats what you never give me credit for. i tried to help you get sober, i payed for your rehab bill so you could come back home to me, but the first thing you did when you got home was snort a line before you even looked my way. we’re not dogs, i cant lick your wounds and tell you they’ll heal, i had myself to worry for. you put drugs above me, so i stopped trying. i stopped begging you.” she fell silent for what you hoped would be the last time tonight, you watched the way she went to speak but shut herself up.

her voice still appeared a few seconds later. “i know i was an addict, i know i fucked up but you gave up on me regardless.” you looked at the tense expression she had as she drove, not even sure if she was driving in the right direction anymore. as much as you

wanted this to all be over you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“you gave up on yourself. i didn’t even get a sorry.” you said dryly, looking back at your feet. everything seemed to consume you. “well im saying sorry now. and for the record i still love you.”

you wanted to recoil, to scream at her and tell her to fuck off, but you softened. you wiped your eyes, sniffling. “i still love you too, it drives me crazy.”

it was the truth, one you ran from. something you denied to your friends and family, knowing if you said anything remotely to the truth you’d see the way their face morph into an disapproving expression.

“i know ill never have you again, but for what its worth i’m thankful you were mine.” its something ellie never intended to say out loud but she used every resource she could.

you gave in to something she wasn’t even asking for, just something you needed to ruin you.

“for what its worth if you asked me to be yours again i don’t think i could say no.”

“then dont say no.”

[nshmuras]

ALONE AGAIN ..

where you two have a argument and they admit they cheated.

pair : enhypen x fem!reader

warning : mentions of cheating , crying , major angst.

LEE HEESEUNG.

you and heeseung haven't been on good terms. always having arguments and sleeping in different locations, but your newest argument blossomed when he came late one day.

"for fuck sakes yn. why are you so upset! i was just with the boys." he yelled and rubbed his temple "hah!? just with the boys? thats a damn lie! you were probably with some girl!" you snarled and poked his chest.

"and so what if i was!? at least she doesnt throw hissy fits everyday!" heeseung yelled as he pushed your hand away, leaving a shocked look on your face.

tears welled up in your eyes as you immediately rushed towards the front door. "yn i didn..—" "save it." you said before slamming the door.

PARK JONGSEONG.

jay was a gentleman and always cared for you. if he was angry or stressed he would kindly tell you he need space! thats what you thought until today.

"jay honey are you coming to bed?" you asked as you peeked in his office. he was on the phone and a womens voice could be heard "i know love.. i'll eventually tell her i swear" he said to the girl.

you stared blankly at his figure as your sight became blurry. "dont worry sweetheart i love y— yn!?" jay said and hung up the phone in a hurry.

"yn i can explain.." "theres no need. how could you jay! after all ive done for you!" you cried out "what have you done for me!? except stress me out! no wonder i wouldve cheated on you." he said coldly, leaving you in utter shock.

SIM JAEYUN

jake had been very suspicious lately. seemingly texting someone, rarely home, and also leaving in the middle of the night. so you decided to talk to him about it.

"yn ive told you it's nothing. now your just pestering me" jake said with a huff and went back onto his phone. "really jaeyun? nothing? well it seems like whoever is on your phone is way more important than me!" you scoff

"what if she is huh? what if she satisfies me more than you do." he snarled and grabbed his keys , shooting for the front door. your mouth fell agape as you started sobbing loudly.

PARK SUNGHOON

sunghoon was tired of your constant nagging and yelling. you were on about the same girl you saw in his contacts and about how mad you were.

"fuck.. could you shut up?" he shouts "you on about this girl in my phone every single day! i should've listened to her when she told me to break up with you for her." he rolled his eyes and you clenched your fists

"fuck you sunghoon and that bitch." you shove at him and walk towards the front door , slipping on your shoes and exiting with a slam.

KIM SUNOO

you were chatting with your friend about sunoos recent actions. they all followed up with the same things like "go through his phone!" or "talk to him about it!" and you followed through.

"yn! why did you go through my phone?" sunoo questioned and crossed his arms. "i dont know. why have you been hiding stuff from me!" he sighed and held the bridge of his nose between his finger tips.

"i saw what you and her were chatting about. who is she!" you yelled "she was just a mistake okay! i was mad at you and she just.. came onto me." you looked shocked. "you know what, you can stay with her." you shoved past him, your figure disappearing in the dark.

YANG JUNGWON

"jungwon!" you called out as you took off your shoes and sighed. jungwon had stood you up and left you stranded at the restaurant.

you made you way to you guys shared bedroom and opened the door "jungwo—" you paused and took in the scene before you. jungwon was kissing another girl in YOUR home.

"you can get your jaw up off the floor yn." he spoke up and walked towards you. "i dont know why your so confused, you know.. after our argument i was out and thought that i dont need a nagging women like you." he spat. "you can leave now."

NISHIMURA RIKI

"yn shut the fuck up okay!?" riki yelled at you "fuck! all i hear is 'who is she' this and 'why are you texting her' that." he got closer to you.

you started to get upset at his sudden tone. tears threatening to spill at any moment "r-riki..—" "have you ever thought that after all your constant nagging, and all your bossiness i wasnt gonna fall out of love?"

your breath hitched "your a joke to me yn. i knew i shouldve stayed with rei after the night of our argument. shes less annoying as you." he poked at your chest. and with every word a singular tear fell.

written by @sjyunnsworld DO NOT COPY OR TRANSLATE.

taglist : @k1ttylvr @cupidscourt

taglist form here

[playboysaleen]

Kalopisa. (3)

Kalopisa: (n.) The delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are. 

Parings: Victoria Neuman x Supe!Reader (GN) (Slight AU)

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three

Summary: You never had the best life. Being abducted at a young age, being raised in the most wanted mafia as a weapon, hell- becoming the most feared in the gang. But…Truth is, you only wanted freedom. Being able to wake up and not have to wonder if you were going to see the sunset again. What happens when your wish partially comes true and you are offered your freedom but at what cost? Oh, you’ll see. 

Warnings: Death, Swearing, everything you done seen is the Boyz is what you should expect here.

Word Count: 5.3k (slightly proof read.)

I just want to put out there that there is a age gape between Neuman and the reader. I think in the show she is like 35 and the reader is like 25-28. I dont want to make the gap so damn big but I know all ya'll reading like them older. Yall just like me lmfao. Imma take a break after this one cause ive been writing since 8pm and it's about to be 4 in the morning- Im tired as fuck. Enjoy and thank you for reading.

_______________________________

“Where is the fun in that?” You whispered as your eyes flashed the red that has haunted her dreams since. You wanted to kill her but something about her led you to wanting to see a certain side in action. 

“You’re a fucking monster.” She grumbled, rolling out of bed placing on her heels. You scoffed standing up from the sofa making way to the door. You stopped taking one good look at her as she caught your gaze through her lashes. 

“Takes one to know one mon amour.” she rolled her eyes as you leaned back disappearing from her view. You shuffled down the stairs seeing M.M sending you a look, 

“If you a Supe; I wanna see some Supe action.” 

You nodded, looking around the room waiting for his command when you swiftly moved your head to the side watching the bullet fly by your head into the wall. Your eyes locked onto his, sending him a smirk. 

“What if fast reflexes was not on my resume?” Your eyebrow raised with a questioning look. He shrugged his shoulders replying, 

“Then I would have to deal with a very angry Frenchie.” 

“You would have made my life easier if you actually sent it right between their eyes.” Victoria spoke out walking past you, plopping herself into the chair next to Kimiko. She sent the girl a small smile but Kimiko rolled her eyes tossing you the strawberry covered donut. You send her a nod in which she smiled your way. Victoria huffed, leaning back watching you take a bite out of the treat. 

“Most Supes have fast reflexes, what else do you have?” Butcher asked, cleaning his handgun on the kitchen table. Hughie decided to stay back to ‘keep an eye on you’ but he really missed the days it was you and him at the shop. You reminded him of a younger(out of control) sibling. 

“Ah…super strength, super speed, but not fast like that blue connard (asshole). I remember Nina mentioning other things but I haven’t découvert(discovered) them yet.” Hugie stood up grabbing a folder from his desk plopping it on the table that was in the center for everyone to see. 

“Y/N.” 

“Who is that?” You asked, confusion swarming in your eyes. Wait- No- that can’t be- 

“This is a file I found from one of our old busts. It was associated with the Red Rivers Underground Enhanced Program for children.” Hughie started, he opened the file to find a mugshot-like photo of a younger you. You were probably twelve in it. You remember the scar that was seen starting at the top of your right eyebrow running across the bridge of your nose. One of Nina’s boys slammed a hammer against your face for attempting to ‘escape’ when all you wanted to do was see this ‘blood moon’ everyone was talking about that morning. 

“It says here that subject was admitted for a few days but then taken out of the system due to being too-” 

“Dangerous.” you finished Hughies statement, when you sighed, turning away from everyone's eyes. You remembered that week. It was the week you decided to put a barrel down your throat pulling the trigger. You couldn’t take it anymore. The needles being pricked into your veins, watching the blue liquid course through you. The pain that felt like someone was yanking your spine out but what made it worse, they wanted to test your weaknesses. You were their submissive little mutt for a week with no blood in your system. You thought killing yourself was the most easy way out but you remembered waking up with a headache only to throw up nothing but the bullet that was intended for freedom. 

“I do not have a name. I do not remember being called that.” You spat turning on your heels following the sign that read ‘roof’. The sound of the door slamming shook everyone. Even Butcher. 

“Bloody hell, the kid has no soul. No childhood. What did Nina do?” Butcher spoke, snatching the file from the table reading all of the intel they had. 

“Psychotic reactions. They literally snapped an officer's neck when given a stuffed animal.” He started reading aloud, 

“No interest in children's activities, when asked about parents- the patient…” Butcher let his words die out in his throat but he kept reading, 

“Butcher, what did that motherfucker do?” M.M spoke out, everyone's attention was on Butcher when he sighed closing the file clasping his hands together, 

“A bunch of shit that we need. In all red it said- ‘Neutralization Aim- Homelander. Viable.’ This kid is the key to sending Homelander straight to the Devil's Den.” Butcher smiled once he saw M.M and Frenchie sigh softly. You were almost identical to Homelander except you were somewhat a- 

“How the hell are they going to kill Homelander when they’re literally a vampire.” M.M questioned when Butcher tossed him the file, 

“Little Nina didn't mention the potential shit that bloodsucker has cause she knew her entire organization would be slaughtered. Burned to the ground.” Butcher continued, Victoria sat in her seat soaking in the entire biography on you. You didn’t even notice but you were almost invincible. 

“Let’s not make cauchemar feel like they are in another one of Nina's plans. They are good people once they let you in. Besides,” Frenchie defended you, rising from his position walking to the door, “they want the same thing we want.”  Victoria stood from her seat walking to Frenchie placing her hand on his shoulder. 

“I’ll handle it.” Victoria said as everyone huffed. Frenchie opened his mouth to protest but she leaned over whispering to him. “They don’t want to be pitied. They want to be understood.” Frenchie turned to face her, eyes wide but all he could do was nod. 

You sat on the edge of the ironhouse building watching the sun slowly peek from the horizon. The breeze that danced along your skin sent a sigh out of your mouth, you felt free. Expensive perfume darted into your nose when you heard rustling next to you, burgundy slacks poked into your peripheral when you huffed. 

“They must really be having a laugh sending you up here.” mumbling, you placed the bottle of chocolate milk next to you. You glanced, letting out a bitter chuckle. 

“They must be since I volunteered.” your head turned her way when she shrugged her shoulders looking out to the horizon. 

“Why are you still here? I should have killed you when I had the chance.” You spat. She turned your way sending you a look, 

“But you didn't, so what does that say? I’m not who I was years ago.” She whispered her eyes still boring into yours. You tried to search for any feelings of betrayal in her blood but the way her heart sped up and her breathing changed…she was genuine coating her words. 

“You killed Malina.” 

“And you killed Tony.” 

Damn. 

“It was the underground way.” You defended. 

“But there is no more underground…You did what you were taught. You don’t have to follow those orders anymore.” She mentioned leaning closer to you. Huffing, you ran your fingers through your hair. 

“What do you want from me? I spent almost eight years playing cat and mouse with you and all of a sudden you want to be friends?” You spoke turning to face her. She raised her eyebrows nodding, 

“We both want Homelander dead and we are the only two that can do that.” She said, you noticed the goosebumps rise along the side of her neck when you noticed the weather around you. 

“That does not cancel the fact that Malina died.” You continued to defend the death of your…friend. Victoria leaned back huffing, 

“For fucks sake, Malina worked for Vought.” 

What? What- no. 

“Malina was the one running the organization with Red River. She was the mole.” Victoria finished. Nina mentioned a Mole but after the countless integrations and fingers being cut off the mole was not confessing. Everything made sense…but you knew Malina since you were sixteen. Why would she- 

“I get you loved her but why love someone that was finding ways to terminate you?” Victoria reasoned when all you could do is turn to the horizon, gazing back at the sun now fully visible. 

“I am not sorry about taking Tony's life, but I am sorry about the reunion.” You actually meant it. Apologizing is something you never did only when Nina gave you that motherly look when you did not leave a perfect painting of the bodies from her hitlist. You stood on your feet removing your jacket taking a deep breath. 

“I can hear them fighting downstairs about us.” You spoke, tossing her your jacket. Her eyes widen but you waved your hand, 

“I’ll handle it. Plus, give Zoe a call, I’m sure she misses you.” Her eyes followed your movement as you walked to the door, sending her one last look. She could've sworn you sent her a small smile. Exiting the rooftop down to the boys, a chill ran over Victoria's body as she looked down at the jacket in her hands. She placed on your clothing inhaling your scent that brought a small smile to her face. 

You apologized. 

≈☆≈

You fucking apologized. You did not want to, but you did. It rolled off your tongue so effortlessly. Those brown eyes were as bright as the raging sun and the color of dancing flames sent you into this new feeling that terrified you. You were taught that the feeling of your stomach turning would be felt when you see the money in your hand disappearing little by little. The feeling of your heart racing should be felt when you need to do anything and everything to keep the underground private. If you slipped any kind of intel? Might as well tell your goodbyes cause you won’t make it to see the sunrise. Humming at the thoughts that danced along your mind, you opened the door to see everyone engaging in a very heated argument. 

“Ah, music to my ears.” You sang out, strutting to the open chair next to M.M

“Kimiko’s making the most sense here.” Butcher claimed, crossing his arms as Hughie raised his own in defense, “She isn’t saying anything?” 

“Exactly- Look, it is best if we let the Supes handle this one. Little Vampie-” You lifted your hand up towards Butchers name suggestion, 

“Call me that again and I will rip your tongue out- What are we talking about?” Butcher scoffed at your insult but you heard his heart race. He liked you. M.M turned his head to face you sighing softly, 

“We need to gather more intel on what Vought has on Singer. We have Annie and Victoria on it but we need more eyes since we can’t just waltz in there like some Men in Black motherfuckers.” He explained to which you nodded along gathering the information when Butcher now stood next to Hughie patting his back, 

“And that is where you come in Little Vamp, you will be Victoria’s new assistant!” He said, Hughie displayed a look of surprise when you chuckled flashing a fanged smile, 

“You can not be serious?” You looked at every face in the room and they were indeed serious. “Tu es.” (you are) you grumbled out running your hand down your face. Victoria was sat at Hughies desk sending the man a look, 

“Their records are clean, you can’t say the FBSA will recognize them since all you have listed is ‘Red Eyes.’ but no visual or actual proof of who they are.” Hughie defended when you smirked at how she never really had anything on and against you. You were a free birdie- well this ‘Y/n’ could be your twin but it’s an easy dismissal with the matured eye color change and a nice wavy short wolf cut- you do not look like this…Y/n. 

“Well that settles it!” Butcher interrupted Hughies' attempt to redeem his stuttering fit as he took a look at his watch pointing your way. 

“Dear Neuman and Starlight need to be at Vought Tower by Nine, it is six. Hughie will take you to his place and get you a nice little office mutt look going,” You looked down at your clothes. You didn’t need to change- 

“I look fine.” You said, Frenchie snorted nodding, 

“You look fine Cauchemar, for a remake of the crow.” Frenchie joked when Victoria snorted, you huffed, shaking your head in defeat. 

“I hope your inseam isn’t so tight,” You grumbled out standing up walking to the door, Hughie scoffed following behind you. 

“I in fact have a big dick-” He argued out closing the door behind him, Kimiko snorted covering her mouth. Frenchie laughed softly shaking his head, 

“I hope Hughie gets a picture of mon cauchemar.” 

+

“If I hear another sound of that phone I am going to shove it up your ass.” You snapped at Hughie who released a breathless laugh as he stood in front of you fixing your tie. 

“You look like serious shit V.” He smiled but you frowned at his name for you. 

“V?” Your asked, he shrugged his shoulders adjusting your collar, 

“I mean yeah…I know you’re like a vampire but I am not going to look like a dumbass calling you that so I went with V.” He spoke going over your outfit one last time giving you a nod of approval. He stepped to the side letting you take in your reflection. 

“Oh the boys are gonna love this.” He said typing away on his phone. You stared at yourself taking in everything. A simple suit but it made you feel some type of way, you looked like you were…someone. The collar to your black button up hid the necklace you wore no matter what you placed on. The black fitted blazer was slightly tight due to you being a bit more built than Hughie but you weren’t complaining due to how it could shield your sleeves of scars that could maybe expose what was left of the underground. The slacks? You weren’t complaining, Hughie was maybe an inch or two taller but the struggle was- 

“You cannot wear your boots into the Vought tower. They’ll automatically flag you.” Hughie said, grabbing a pair of his dress shoes to which a look of disgust flashed across your face. Hughie caught it sighing, 

“Come on V, it’s just for today and maybe tomorrow.” Tomorrow????

“Do not tell me I have to wear another suit-” You started walking out his bedroom into the living room. Annie walked in through the front door, stopping in her tracks taking in your attire. 

“Huh…so you can clean up nice.” Annie hummed out as Hughie walked up to her, giving her a chaste kiss. Rolling your eyes, you snatched the black dress shoes from Hughies hands taking a seat on the couch. 

“Victoria is waiting for us outside the tower, we need to go.” You finished up tying the laces on the shoes that magically fit perfectly. You stood up fixing your blazer when Annie stood in front of you grabbing your tie. Lightly flinching, Annie's eyebrow raised, 

“Easy…Hughie never gets his tie right, don’t need his minor mistake blowing your cover,” she fixed the black tie that poked out your collar. Huh…you didn’t see that. She tapped your chest backpedaling to the front door. You sent Hughie a nod as you followed Annie out into her car. 

“Here are your comms,” she started as you both got into her car. Looking at the earpiece you grimace lightly, now you’re gonna hear them annoy you ten times louder. 

“They will think you are Victoria’s little starbucks bodyguard.” She said watching you place the object into your ear, she started the car backing out and driving off. She went over the plan and who you were. 

“You are originally from France cause of your accent- okay, you did a tour and now you are now working for the FBSA,” 

“Woah woah, not those connards.” You spat when Annie just rolled her eyes pulling into a parking space. You sighed, nodding your head in defeat. Exiting out the car you button your blazer following behind Annie. 

“Oh and your name is Alex.” She finished walking up the stairs, you groaned, shaking your head following her. 

Your eyes caught the burgundy heels that connected so well with the tone legs your gaze were following. Your mouth almost pooled when you saw the beige skirt start right above her knees. She knew you were watching her, with the way your gaze slowly racked her body and to top it off a beige blazer with a maroon blouse that the top two were unbuttoned. 

“No coffee? So much for an assistant.” Victoria attempted to joke but you ignored her going up the last step ending up only a few inches from her face. 

“Write me up then, Ms.Neuman.” You whispered, your stare held fire but it only ignited the flames that blazed in her chest. You sent her a fake smile walking up to the main entrance. A shaky breath was released from her when she lifted her head letting her pride take the wheel as she turned on her heels making her way to the door. You held the door open as she walked in while Annie followed suit. 

You watched in disbelief at how quick the woman placed on this million dollar smile and was this woman you saw on TV. She shook hands and hugged people you couldn’t keep count on in the span of walking into the tower to entering the elevator. You leaned your head back against the metal wall of the small box sighing softly, 

“What? Can’t take a few hello’s?” Victoria teased when you sent her a look, 

“Not when I can smell the blood of those men running to leur bite when they see you.” You admitted fixing your blazer aggressively. The doors opened when you were the first to step out, your body slightly rammed into a buff man. 

“Watch where the fuck you’re walking.” he shouted backpedaling away with his eyes glued on you. You crumbled your hand into a fist as you kept your eyes on his. A hand was placed on yours when you saw Victoria leaned over sending a apologetic smile, 

“I’m so sorry! It’s their first day!” She shouted out when he disappeared down the hallway. A growl bubbled in your throat when her hand gripped your jaw bringing you down to look into her very fiery eyes. 

“Control yourself.” She gritted out, lightly patting your cheek with a smile when you saw someone walk by. You don’t know what happened to you but you unclench your fist as you sent her a nod. She took a step back nodding towards Annie who held the tiniest smirk, continuing her way down the hall. You entered a room that seemed to be a quarter for meetings, Victoria handed you her purse as you huffed sending her a smile. She mirrored you walking down the table taking a seat, you took a few steps back noticing a small chair in the far corner where no one can see. Unbuttoning your blazer, you took a seat placing the purse in your lap hearing the start of the meeting. A man started speaking and you tried your best but after a few minutes everything became muffled. Spacing out, you didn’t notice the woman that placed a hand on your shoulder. You looked up clearing your throat, 

“I’m sorry?” The woman chuckled softly at the speed you were moving to stand up giving you her full attention. 

“Oh, I didn’t mean to pry but I wanted to just ask…how is it being the vice president's assistant?” She asked, smiling your way. You internally grimace at how big she was smiling. It seemed a bit sketchy. You blew a puff of air out chuckling softly, 

“It’s not for the weak, I can tell you that.” You spoke, the woman laughed quietly placing a hand on your bicep. “But I am very grateful to be able to be a part of the upcoming for Ms.Neuman. Look at her; she is extraordinary.” You gestured your hand her way as she stood talking about the military. The woman's smile faded as she gave your bicep a light squeeze turning your attention back to her. 

“Oh come on, from the looks of it…looks like you are more than just her assistant.” She said pulling you in a bit closer. You can’t lie, you wanted to snap this woman's neck if she didn’t get her hand off you. You shook your head smiling softly, 

“Just her assistant, unfortunately…” you softly laughed out. You heard the chairs moving and voices from the men when a hand was placed on your shoulder, 

“Ashley, so happy you met my assistant!” Victoria beamed, you felt the woman's hand release your bicep when you turned your head sending Victoria a small smile.

“Oh of course, how could I miss someone looking this good.” Ashley gushed letting out a laugh, Victoria did the same but you chuckled softly to mask the hiss you held from her nails digging into your shoulder. 

“Mmmh, I don’t know where you get assistants like this but I hope you have a variety of skills outside of politics…isn’t that right Vicky?” Ashley spoke laughing, patting your chest without giving you a light squeeze. Nervously chuckling, you glanced at the woman who still had a grip on you smiling at Ashleys remark. Her phone vibrated causing her to wave to the two of you, 

“Work calls. If you ever need another woman under your belt let me know.” Ashley said, grabbing a small business card from her files, sliding it into your blazer pocket. You laughed nodding her way when she slipped out the room. You kept a smile painted on your face as you handed Victoria her purse following her into the elevator. Annie entered after you pressed the lobby button sending you a look. 

“Now what the fuck was that?” Annie whispered-yelled when the smile on your face dropped. 

“You did good defending her like that but do not let Ashley think you’re fucking the vice president.” She scolded, sighing loudly. Victoria watched the way your jaw flex refraining from saying any smart remarks. Shaking your head, you kept your mouth shut when Annie waved her phone in your face when you all walked out the elevator quickly exiting the building. You heard your conversation with Ashley ring in your ear as you walked to the valet. You rolled your eyes when you heard your compliment and your voice sounded a little louder than you expected. Neumans phone rang when you heard a gruff voice on the line. 

‘A dead officer was found in your hotel room.’ 

You grabbed the keys from the valet waving your hand at the designated driver. He nodded making his way back into the tower as you hopped into the driver's side waiting for her to close the door. 

“I know a place.” You spoke out after you heard a frustrated sigh from the woman in the backseat. You glanced through the rearview to see her nodding, you exited the free way starting your route to the destination. Once the call ended when you pulled the car into a small parking lot, killing the engine turning to face her. 

“Take off your blazer.” Confusion flashed across her face but she understood when you started taking off your own. You groaned softly, rolling up your sleeves when a gasp was heard from the woman, you turned to see her eyes raking up your arm. You shook your head, yanking off the tie and tossing it into the passenger seat. 

“Here is how this is going to go.” You started undoing the top three buttons from your button up pulling out your necklace displaying the sapphire gem. “You have to follow everything I do. Do not engage with anyone without me. Do not look at anyone but me and do not pop anyone understand?” She nodded, grabbing her purse as you hopped out the car, opening her door. She noticed a small run down building a few yards away that had music blaring out and a man being thrown literally into the street. 

“You brought me to a fucking Supe club?” She spat when you started walking towards the club, she felt your hand sit on her lower back when you looked her way, 

“The one place they will not find you. Trust me,” You whispered as she saw your fangs protracting out of your gums. Your bright golden gaze was now caged by the dark veins that swarmed in and under your eyes. You ran your hand through your hair letting a loose strand fall on your forehead. At that moment, she knew this was going to see a side of you she is going to regret but deep down…she trusted you. The both of you walked to the door when the security guard placed a hand on your chest. You were a bit shorter than the man but the energy that seeped from your skin caused him to retract his hand nodding your way. 

“Je suis désolé, Cauchemar, tu peux entrer” (I am sorry, you may enter.) he spoke, opening the door wider for the two of you. The smell of alcohol and sex slapped you both in the face as you made way through the sea of dancing bodies. Luckily the only lights that were on were the black light helping the neon strobe lights pop out. The molded bodies soon became a few when you entered into the booths, you walked up the two steps that held a ‘PRIVATE’ sign. Walking right past it, you grabbed her hand sitting next to a woman whose attention was on a man snorting a line. You clapped loudly when his head shot up to meet your fanged smile. Neuman felt his heart speed up and a feeling of…fear. 

“Je savais que je te trouverais ici.” (I knew I would find you here.) You spoke leaning down grabbing the man's shoulder pulling him close so that your faces were inches apart. 

“S'il vous plaît, je vous donnerai l'argent bientôt.” (Please, I will give you the money soon.) he cried out, wiping the excess powder that covered his nostril. You leaned back nodding but quickly grabbing a fist full of his shirt slamming him into the table that sat in the middle of the section. A sharp breath was heard from the man when everyone around him scattered away like roaches. You looked up to see guards heading up the stairs when you raised your hand, noticing who you were they cowared away as if nothing was happening. The woman stood there in shock at the power you held in this building but what took her breath away was when the man spoke-

“Tell my wife that I am sorry.” He sobbed out, you sent him a nod grabbing the collar of his blazer sinking your fangs into his neck. Blood splattered beneath the man gasping for air when the woman flinched back at the sound of the ‘SNAP’ when his head whipped to the side. You leaned back moaning softly, wiping the blood that dripped from your skin. Your eyes found Victorias as you sent her a smile displaying your coated fangs. She braced herself for more of you as you leaned down grabbing the keys from his pocket. You sighed softly at the mess you made but moved towards Victoria extending your hand, 

“Let's go.” She gave in, grabbing your hand as you helped her up walking further into the club. She glanced back to see the men grabbing the dead man and quickly cleaning the section. Her eyes widened when she no longer saw his body but the amount of people that entered the booth partying as if you did not kill a man. You finally got to the back of the club where a small door was hidden, grabbing the keys of the man, you unlocked the door that revealed a flight of stairs. You opened the door wider letting her walk in as you followed behind closing the door and locking it. She kept walking till she saw a view of the city, especially the Vought Tower. You sighed, scanning the loft of the man as you went into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of vodka from the cabinet. 

“Get some rest, that meeting wasted the entire day.” You spoke pouring yourself a shot, Victoria couldn't believe your calmness after murdering someone in front of many people. She walked to the kitchen and took a seat on the barstool that gave her a view of your back as you searched through the cabinets, 

“You just killed a man and you are telling me to rest?” 

Oh she wanted answers huh. Opening the last cabinet, you grabbed the small safe that hid behind the old pancake mix as you placed it on the small bar that separated you and her. You grabbed the top of the safe yanking it off with ease, at least twenty grand, a harddrive and vials of temp V were stashed. 

“How did he get a hold of temp V?” She asked, grabbing the vial, making sure it is what she thinks it is. You grabbed the cash stuffing it into the backpack that was hidden in the pantry, answering, 

“He was one of Nina’s suppliers. She planned on getting enough Temp V to test and if it worked… she was going to use Compound V to make soldiers.” You spoke with ease grabbing the thumb drive and placing it into your back pocket. You grabbed the Vials from her hand opening them, you tilted them over the sink watching them flow down the drain. 

“But he was short and on the run since. I was ordered to kill him the night before your FBSA killed the underground.” You finished dropping the vials into the trash can. You walked into the bedroom/living room going through the closet grabbing a bag that contained clothes. You tossed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt pointing to the bathroom, she kept her eyes on you when you spoke. 

“Wash up. Tomorrow’s meeting was canceled…I heard Ashleys call on the way down.” You walked up to her when she didn’t mutter a word. Her eyes were just stuck on you. 

You swiped the pad of your thumb on the tip of your tongue running it across her cheek, her breath was caught in her throat when you placed your thumb in between your lips licking off the red substance. 

“You have blood all over your clothes.” She blinked away the trance she was in walking to the bed grabbing the clothes as she walked into the bathroom locking the door behind her. She leaned over the sink, her hands gripping the sides when she looked at her reflection in the mirror. God she was a mess, blood from the man was splattered across her face and stained into her clothes. How could you be this evil ...well, she couldn't say that about you knowing the things she has done to get her to where she is now but she couldn’t stop the whimper that dashed out her mouth when the thought of you running your tongue down your neck cleaning the blood for her. 

She huffed turning on the shower letting the steam from the hot water fog up the mirror. You sat at the dining table with the shot glass between your lips listening to every move, breath and sound she made. 

______________

Off to bed i go.

[slayfics]

ive been thinking about a comfort story but instead of katsuki comforting the reader, she comforts him after a long day or struggling with something ❤️

You comfort Katsuki.

1k words

You prepared for an angry Katsuki to burst through the door any moment now. The new hero rankings had come out this afternoon and he had dropped rank, again.

It didn’t take much for you to imagine why. The week before the rankings Katsuki got rushed by reporters. Fresh out of a fight with a villain, adrenaline pumping, they spat out questions pushing for answers.

All the questions they knew would push The Great Lord Explosion Murder God Dynamite’s buttons.

“Dynamite, did you know it was the anniversary of the day you were attacked by the sludge villain?”

“Dynamite, how does it feel being behind Endeavor’s son in the hero charts?”

“Dynamite, can you make a statement about the damage you did to the city in your last fight?”

The list of draining questions went on, all captured on video, as Katsuki quickly lost his cool. Blurting out some colorful words for the reports to, not so politely fuck off.

You heard the keys in the latch and braced yourself for the sight of the angry blond. Yet, such a sight never came, instead, you met with a sight that was much more concerning.

Slumped shoulders, flat affect, vacant gaze. Katsuki sat on the couch silently working at taking off his boots. Not a word spoken to you. No sign of anger.

“Hey,” you greeted, testing the waters with him.

“Hey,” he mumbled without looking up as he tossed his boots aside. Head leaned back against the couch he closed his eyes.

"You want to talk about it?" you asked softly.

Katsuki inhaled sharply and shook his head no without opening his eyes. It was unusual to see him so defeated. Typical fiery ambition completely extinguished, lacking the energy to even be upset, he just sat.

You knew all too well how to extinguish the burning rage inside him, but this? This was new ground.

Your momentary paralysis gave Katsuki exactly what he needed. Space and quiet to just be. Slowly he opened up.

"You think it's because of how I responded to those damn reporters?" He asked.

"Possibly," you hummed. "You're human though Katsuki, all those pestering questions would have got under anyone's skin.

"Yeah but," he sighed before continuing. "You saw all the articles and viral edits. They didn't show the whole video, just the part of me losing my shit. A big majority of people think I blew up at some civilian reporters for no fucking reason," Katsuki huffed. "I don't give a damn about that though; people can think whatever the fuck they want... I'm I don't know," Katsuki paused and you gave him the air to finish processing his thought. "I'm fucking disappointed. All that damn therapy I went through- to still get so pissed at some dumb reporters, I should be way past that now. I'm still losing my temper like a goddamn child," he groaned, the displeasure in his voice weighing heavy.

"Katsuki," you cooed and moved closer to him bringing him into an embrace. Katsuki didn't fight you he welcomed your affection, finding solace from leaning into you. Head resting on your chest you combed your fingers through his hair. "Success isn't linear, and one mistake doesn't erase everything you've accomplished and worked for. It's a minor setback. It's tough but, it's nothing you can't come back on top of," you comforted him squeezing him with one arm and messaging his scalp with the other. Katsuki hummed into your chest taking in your words. You always knew what to say.

"I just fucking hate that I gave those reporters exactly what they wanted. They wanted me to blow up, gives them a good damn news story. Fucking vultures," he scowled.

"Mhm," you nodded. "You did, and you can't change that, but you can change how you're going to react moving forward because we know they aren't going to stop. Especially now that they've seen the effect they've had," you spoke problem-solving with him.

"Tch- yeah. I don't know what the fuck to do though. Walking away has been my go-to when I feel myself about to explode, but- in situations like that I'm rushed and cornered. Can't let out an explosion to fly away either because I'll hurt the fuckers. What's worse is I'm still workin' and trying to get back to the cops and agency to report what the fuck happened with the villain," he replied.

"Maybe you could say that... I'm working please move... or I'm working and cannot accept questions...," You suggested.

"Ha- I don't know about the please but... that's not such a bad idea... I'm goddamn working can't talk idiots," Katsuki huffed then relaxed more into your chest.

You giggled, "That does sound more authentic to Dynamite."

Katsuki nuzzled into your chest, his breaths becoming deeper, and the tension in his shoulders he had been carrying around all day finally easing up. "I shoulda called you right when I found out," he murmured.

"You know I'm always here whenever you're ready to talk... about anything," you answered. "I'm sorry I didn't call right away... sometimes I'm not sure when you need your space to process."

"You ain't got to apologize... I know my temperament isn't the easiest to read," he noted.

"I wouldn't have you any other way," you teased, pulling him up to press a kiss on his nose.

Katsuki clicked his tongue, "Cut that cheesy crap out," he complained the tips of his ears burning hot. "Besides, I still got dirt and shit all over me."

"I don't care," you remarked, giving him another kiss on his cheek.

Katsuki shifted in one swift motion pinning you down on the couch, "I said cut it out brat," he smirked, taking in the sight of you beneath him. "Why don't you come get cleaned up with me instead," he offered.

An offer you happily accepted.

sinners: @queenpiranhadon @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @i-heart-carlisle @derangedmango @matchat3a @bakugouswaif @reneinii @zanarkandskylines @pastelbakugou @abadbitchblogs @deluluforcarlos55 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @pinkpurpledreams @that-one-fangirl69

[eringobragh420]

🖤 Pairing — Seth Rollins ♥︎ f!OC 🖤 Summary — Seth believes he's doing the right thing. (Part 2/?) 1 | 2 🖤 Word Count — 2.7k 🛑 Warnings — Attempted suicide, depression, infidelity, hospital setting 18+ 🖤 Taglist — If you'd like to be added, please click here! 🖤 MASTERLIST

Violet

Every time she moved, the uncomfortable vinyl chair squeaked, but it was a welcomed change, however brief, from the incessant beeping of the machine monitoring Seth’s heart rate. Six days later, and he was at the point where he appeared as though he were merely sleeping—his color had mostly returned from the pallid shade he’d been discovered in, he’d been given sponge baths, and the nurse had allowed Violet to gently brush his hair before twisting it into a bun the way he liked it and tying it in place with the very elastic band he’d been using that day, tears streaming down her face through the entire process. His long, beautiful lashes rested on his cheeks, and his fiancée had also been permitted to trim his beard, sobbing during this action as well. 

He could have been sleeping.

But he wasn’t.

She’d been sad then. She was angry now. And she would be sad again in a day or two—a vicious cycle she was slowly getting used to. How could he do this? Why? Things had been going so well, or, she supposed, she thought they’d been going well. Seth had smiled and laughed and held her and kissed her and made love to her just as he normally did in the weeks leading up to that day. She’d never once suspected he was thinking about trying to kill himself, and neither had any of the friends or family or coworkers she’d interrogated—if Seth wasn’t going to give her any answers, she’d have to find someone who would, however utterly irrational a decision this was. No one knew what had been going through Seth’s mind but Seth, and he was in a coma. 

He was recovering, the doctors assured her, though it was a slow process, and of course they couldn’t be one hundred percent sure he’d ever wake up again. His brain function had improved after several medications, oxygen, and sedation, and she’d been told his recovery was rather astonishing given how much poison he’d ingested. But, as someone with no medical background, she witnessed no advancement—just her sleeping, depressed, suicidal fiancé, dressed in a generic hospital gown, several IVs inserted into veins in both his arms. The medical team couldn’t be sure if any coma patient was able to hear the outside world, but they encouraged her to talk to him anyway. The first few days had been full of weeping and begging and pouring her heart out to him with no response. 

“I have an appointment tomorrow,” she softly spoke. She’d turned the chair around so she could face Seth and hold his hand, both of which she was doing now. One hand under his, the other on top, and he was so warm and she recognized all his fingers and all his lines, but his muscles were lifeless. She never thought she could miss someone squeezing her hand so much. The head of his bed had been lifted, and she’d assisted the nurse in making sure he at least looked comfortable on his pillow and under the scratchy blanket and sheet. “It’s my first ultrasound.” Tears trickled down her cheeks. “I was gonna—” She sniffed, flicking the tears away quickly so she could return her hand to Seth’s.  “I was gonna wrap it up and give it to you for Valentine’s Day.” More tears. “Damn it, Seth.” She doubled over, forehead on her hand, and it was one of those moments where she couldn’t breathe. 

Would he be around to see his child grow up? If he survived, what sort of quality of life would he have? Had she really kissed him for the last time? Suddenly she couldn’t remember what his voice sounded like. She’d have to pull up the videos of him on her phone so she could refresh her otherwise concussed brain. 

A knock at the sliding glass door, and she didn’t acknowledge it for a long moment.

“Vi?”

She inhaled deeply, again brushing the salty tears from her cheeks, as well as her chin and neck. She sat up, automatically searching Seth’s unbothered face for any changes, even the most subtle ones, but there was nothing. Still sleeping. So beautiful. “What?” she rasped, then cleared her throat. 

“How’s he—” 

“He’s the same, Hunter.” 

Triple H entered the room, likely knowing he wouldn’t receive an answer either way if he asked. Violet smelled his cologne—another embraced change from the stinging antiseptic scent of the entire hospital. Even the cafeteria. He stood on the opposite side of Seth’s bed, huge hands resting on the safety rail. “Have they said anything—?” 

“Hunter, I promise, if he wakes up, I’ll let you know. If the doctors say anything different than what they’ve been saying for the past week, I’ll let you know.” 

“I’m sorry, I—” 

“Just,” Violet interrupted, lifting her hand from Seth’s to rub her forehead. “I’m sorry.” She sighed. “This is an angry day.”

Hunter shrugged and swatted a hand. “Don’t apologize. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” She nodded—she hardly knew what she was going through. “I just hope you know how much I care about both of you.”

Violet sniffed, watching Seth inhale, exhale, features so soft and serene and perfect. Could he hear them right now? “I know,” she replied.

“That being said—” 

“You son of a bitch,” Violet chuckled dryly, shaking her head. 

“It’s not my idea, but I promised I’d present it.” 

“Let me save you some time.” She glared up at him. “I’m not going on television, and you’re not mentioning him on television. Anything else?” 

“We just wanna give you time—” 

“Hunter.” 

Her boss held up a hand. “We just wanna give you some time to update the fans. You can say whatever you wanna say. You have carte blanche.” 

“No thanks.”

Hunter’s smile was sympathetic, and Violet wanted to curb stomp him for herself and her fiancé. She squeezed Seth’s hand still resting in hers, her heart crumbling as she again received no response. “Obviously you can do what you want. But let me just say one thing.” Violet sighed, nodded. “A lot of these fans grew up with Seth. And you. And what happened effected them, too.  Hell, some of them call you two their parents.” Tears brimmed once more, her gaze locked on Seth. Parents. “And you have kids—” He incorporated air quotes. “—in NXT.” Kids. 

It came out before she knew it was happening. “I’m pregnant, Hunter.” Her boss’s mouth clamped shut and his grip tightened on the safety rail. 

“Did Seth—” Violet shook her head, the tears accumulating before now freely falling. “Vi, I don’t—” 

“If I promise to think about going on TV, will you leave?”

Hunter chewed on his bottom lip as he rounded the foot of Seth’s hospital bed. He placed a heavy, but comforting, hand on her shoulder. She knew he was just doing his job, but that didn’t make his reason for coming burn any less. It seemed like everyone wanted to know how Seth was doing for their own selfish reasons, not because they truly cared about him. 

“If there’s anything at all either of you need …” 

“Thanks.” Hunter patted her shoulder and finally made his exit. Taking a deep breath, she tried calming her nerves and focusing her attention back on her comatose fiancé, but she was successful in only one of her quests. “Did you get all that?” she asked, not expecting an answer. “I know on one hand he’s right—they do deserve to know. But it’s also none of their business and they should respect our privacy. I don’t know what to do.” She searched Seth’s worry-free face. “So you have to come back to me, okay?” The tears were forming once more. “I can’t do this on my own.” She collapsed into sobs, body wracked with shudders as she gasped and sucked in oxygen between wails. “I can’t do it, Seth.” 

Seth 

“I can’t do it, Seth.”

Seth’s brows furrowed and, although he knew he was alone, he turned to inspect the living area of the hotel room. No one stood behind him, especially not his fiancée, whose voice he swore he’d just heard. Shrugging, he returned his attention to the mirror and finished knotting the black tie at his neck. Finishing that, he smoothed the rest of his tuxedo over his fit body, smiling proudly at his reflection, the gap between his two top front teeth on full display. He was finally marrying Violet Lockhart, the absolute love of his life, the most beautiful woman in the world. He didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky, but he was eternally grateful to whomever may have had a hand in their courtship.

The locking mechanism on the door beeped and turned, and Seth watched as Roman, Mox, and Hunter entered the room, all speaking at the same time, each of them somehow understanding the other two. Seth chuckled, brushing his hair, then attempting to twist it into its normal bun while three grown men punched him playfully in the stomach, ribbing him like children about how his life was over since he was getting married. The Architect’s eyes narrowed, unable to ignore how much these guys actually were acting like kids, and when the hell had he asked Triple H to be a groomsman? He didn’t necessarily remember asking any of them, but at least Roman and Mox made some sense—Hunter was his boss, and the two weren’t particularly close.

The door beeped again, and Seth’s mahogany eyes switched to the entrance as Chelsea Green, one of Violet’s closest friends and maid of honor, seemingly floated over the threshold in a gown of gorgeous malachite. 

“It’s time,” she sang, gently clapping her hands together. 

Following her, Seth checked the inner pocket of his suit jacket for the rings, finding them tucked safely away, and he considered handing them to Roman or Mox, as he’d been instructed to do, but at the last moment, left them where they were. He was suddenly petrified of losing them. Chelsea glanced at him over her shoulder, smiling warmly, and she threw open a pair of floor-to-ceiling doors to reveal a magnificent church. Seth’s brows again knitted together, and he looked over his own shoulder to see exactly where he’d just come from, but the doors closed, and somehow he knew they wouldn’t open again. They weren’t supposed to get married in a church—it’s not what Violet wanted. As his eyes searched the various religious statues and stained glass windows, he dug through his brain files for where they had decided to tie the knot, but he couldn’t find it. The church wasn’t right, though he had no idea what was. 

“Wait,” he said, “are you sure—” 

“You stand up there,” Chelsea instructed, smile still sparkling, gesturing to the altar. “She’s on her way.”

Seth nodded. “Yeah, but—”

Chelsea drifted away, and Seth’s stomach knotted, an icy grip of foreboding squeezing his heart, making it difficult to breathe, causing his brain to throb. His legs carried him to the altar without his consent, locking him in place, and he was frozen to the floor as guests made their way inside and to their seats. Everyone moved in sync—their steps, turning into the correct pews, staring at him. An air of unease blanketed the church, and Seth gulped.

“You good?” Roman asked, standing beside him.

Seth shook his head. “Something’s wrong,” he said. 

“Nah,” Roman smiled, placing a huge, heavy arm around Seth’s shoulders. “Everything’s alright.”

Seth followed Roman’s pointed finger to the doors he’d come through moments before, smile slowly splitting his lips. Violet now stood there, her bronze hair curled and hanging past her shoulders, makeup pristine, and her gown was—Seth’s growing smile began to fall—black. It hugged her curves, fanning out at her legs, a long train dragging behind her as she approached. The cathedral veil she wore was also black, and Seth racked his brain again for a memory of his fiancée mentioning wanting a black wedding dress, but he came up empty-handed. 

“We’re gathered here today—”

A holy man appeared without warning beside Seth, and then Violet was standing in front of him, and he was positive something strange was happening. He just couldn’t figure out what it was. Everything seemed right, but were terribly wrong. Was he dead? Had he fallen into an alternate universe? But his fiancée was indescribably gorgeous, and he was finally marrying her after everything they’d been through—everything he’d put her through—and if things were a little off, then so be it. Whose wedding day was actually perfect? 

“I love you,” Violet whispered, gazing up at him as if he held the answer to life itself. 

“I love you, too,” Seth replied, squeezing her hands. 

“If there’s anyone present who believes these two should not be wed, please speak now, or forever hold your peace.”

Neither Seth nor Violet expected an answer from their guests, maintaining eye contact with one another, their hands exchanging squeezes. 

“I object.”

Violet’s mismatching eyes rounded, Seth feeling his do the same, and all the air left his lungs in a rush. The church was eerily quiet—no coughing, shuffling, children crying, or family members sobbing. He knew the voice that had spoken up, and he was sure Violet didn’t, though she certainly knew why the woman had interrupted. Seth licked his lips, chewing on the bottom one a moment before he slowly turned to look at the woman as she stood from her pew in the middle of the others. Seth swallowed again, instantly recognizing one of the women he’d cheated on Violet with, her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at him expectantly. 

“Seth,” Violet muttered. 

“It’s okay,” Seth said. He turned back to his soon-to-be-wife to find tears and mascara dripping down her otherwise immaculate face. “Honey—” 

“I object.”

Seth’s head whipped back to the guests to find another woman standing, another one of his flings. And then another. And another. And another. “No,” he mumbled. “This isn’t … This can’t be real.” 

“Did you fuck all these girls?” Mox asked, and who the fuck was he to judge Seth’s mistakes? 

“No!” Seth snapped. “I mean … yeah, I did, but I didn’t—” 

“And you invited all of them?” Roman asked. 

“No!” Seth yelled, glaring over his shoulder at the Samoan, who had a hand over his laughing mouth. “Fuck you, Reigns.” 

“I wouldn’t be worried about me, brother,” Roman said, pointing.

Seth followed his finger, his own ocher eyes widening at the new scene before him. Violet, the woman who’d saved his life, in the gigantic arms of his boss, Hunter. Her body quivered, and her cries echoed off the intricate decorations and statues. Hunter’s eyes slid to Seth and the comforting smirk behind his beard was laced with lethality, and he winked at the younger man. 

“No, no, no,” Seth breathed, hands clutching his suddenly pounding head. “Something’s wrong.”

Violet’s arms dropped from around Hunter’s neck, her body seeming to move on autopilot as she turned to face Seth. Her eyes were vacant, utterly devoid of life and love and happiness and excitement—dead. “Something is wrong, Seth,” she deadpanned. “And it’s your fault.” 

“What else is new?” Hunter chucked. 

“Seth did something wrong? I’m shocked,” Roman chimed in. 

“Hey, Seth,” Mox hollered. “Are you done with this girl? Thought I might try her out.”

Seth shook his head, trying to block everyone and everything out of his mind. “I have to be dreaming,” he said to himself. “That’s all. Just a dream.” 

“No, Seth,” Violet said. “We had dreams.” More tears, but her tears were black now, sludge, thick. “You turned them into nightmares.” 

“How do I wake up?” Seth squeaked, slapping his head, pinching his cheeks. “I have to wake up.”

Violet grabbed his face, clutching his now sore cheeks, and she was beautiful again—makeup was pristine, tears dried, complexion free of the ooze from before. But the dread in her eyes was overwhelming, and Seth collapsed to his ruined knees under the weight of it, her hands never relinquishing their grip. “You’re not waking up, Seth. You’re gonna be here forever.”

Seth blinked. His surroundings melted, disappeared, rebuilt. When his eyes opened again, he was standing in front of the hotel mirror, tying his tie. The lock on the door clicked and beeped, and Roman, Mox, and Hunter entered. Seth’s heart stopped. 

“No.”

TAGLIST: @southerngirl41 @femdisa @riverina69 @rollinssection @paramedicnerd004 @mandmilovehim @brianochka @yourmommyagone22 @sweetmoonlove0214 @partypoison00 @missbmc94 @lils2795 @aureliacorvina @magicalbuttertarts @madimcg14 @thealliasylum @lov3rla03 @plaidpajamallama @princesstiti14 @deansimpala @princessesareforsuckers

[tojiscumdumpster]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ iv. toji/reader/suguru

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⭑๋࣭ summary page

please refresh your memory of the content warnings that's mentioned on the summary page. this chapter will include s*xual activites.

Toji

 My wife cheated on me. Not a lot of shit can hurt me, but that did. I know I haven’t been the best husband, though, I never expected it to get to the point where she would go fuck someone else. I can’t be surprised that other men are interested in her because look at her— she’s fucking gorgeous. 

 Nice big tits. 

 Curvy body.

 An ass that requires me to hold with both of my hands. 

 Beautiful brown skin that glowed so brightly it makes the sun jealous. 

 Aside from her looks, Y/N has a heart of gold. 

 I was rough around the edges when we first met ten years ago. Still am, but with her? I’m soft. Vulnerable. There’s a side of me that’s reserved for her and her only. She doesn’t pity me for my fucked up past, and she doesn’t try to understand me because although her past isn’t all peaches and cream, she hasn’t experienced what I have. However, she made me feel… reassured. Heard. Emotions that feel foreign to me. Imagine a shitty motherfucker like me who kills people for a living would fall in love and get a girl like Y/N. 

 Luck was on my side the day she agreed on being mine forever, but now? I’m not feeling so lucky. 

 I feel angry. Betrayed. Frustrated. Annoyed. Every negative thing you can think of—all while I’m fucking her. 

 I’ve been pounding into her tight, wet pussy for the past two hours. Time after time making her cum and scream my name until I feel like the fucker that touched her is out her system. 

 I’ve declined Y/N  several orgasms, but still gave her five, going onto six. My right hand finds comfort around her neck while my left is busy rubbing her clit with my thumb. She’s spread out so pretty on the bed for me, tears of pleasure staining her gold shining cheeks. I keep fucking her with no intention of letting up and let’s just say seeing her tits bouncing with my thrusts is the reason why. 

 Well, at least one of the reasons.

 Fuck, I can’t believe I’ve been without her pussy for this long. Ten months to be exact, and despite Y/N sharing what’s mine, her pussy still molds around me. I’m the only motherfucker that can fuck her like a whore, but cherish her like she’s the only woman in the world—because she is… for me. 

 Now when I look at her, I think of that bitch that had the pleasure of knowing what she feels like.

 Suddenly, I’m pissed again. 

 My strokes are hungrier, more passion and anger filled. The harder I fuck her, the louder Y/N and her pussy gets. She’s so fucking wet there’s a puddle forming underneath of all her releases. I love how messy she gets, seeing her cream coat my cock. Y/N is squeezing me so damn hard and she sounds so sweet. 

 “Look at you. A pathetic slut while whimpering on my cock,” I say, mockingly. “Is this how you sound when you let that motherfucker touch you?”

 “T-Toji… Toji, please -”

 “That wasn’t a rhetorical fucking question, Y/N,” I bit out. “Answer me.”

 Her pussy clenches, moaning softly. “No, fuck… ”

 “Open your mouth.” Gosh, I’m so fucking tempted to praise Y/N. I fell in love with her because she’s stubborn, but she always listen to me without hesitation, opening her mouth like a good girl. 

 I formed saliva in my mouth to allow a long and slow string of spit drip into hers, and the minute Y/N swallows, she cums for the sixth time tonight. 

 I chuckle, menacingly. “My spit turns you on that much? You like getting fucked in this tight pussy like a whore? Because that’s what you are.”

  This pussy is so goddamn wet and warm. Tight as shit, too. Fuck, she’s taking me so well. 

 “Oh, God! Fuck, Toji, fuck. It’s too much, baby,” she cries. 

 I apply more pressure to her throat. “Shut up.” I push past every single one of my thrusts and drive deeper in her pussy, rubbing her clit harder than before. “Give me one more.”

 Y/N drew her brows together and opened her mouth to protest, looking so damn pretty. “I… I don’t think I can.”

 “Yes, you fucking can,” I growl. This is the closest praise she’ll get from me tonight. “Greedy fucking pussy still holding onto my cock. I know she wants some more of my cum. Don’t you think, sweets?” I didn’t give Y/N a chance to answer before I released her throat to hold her thick waist tightly. 

 I pull her down on my cock fast and hard, balls slapping her pussy to make the most pornographic sound. She hesitates about putting her hand near my pelvic to relieve the pressure, but I know she wants to prove to me that she can take me. 

  That’s my girl. 

 I continue to fuck her aggressively at a frantic pace, deeper, brutally until my release rushes to the tip of my cock and shoots inside her. This load may be the heaviest, and of course, she cums and squirts on me… again. Fuck, I love it. I pound into her until my dick pops out of Y/N’s pussy due to her wetness. 

 As I come down from my own high, I watch Y/N shake uncontrollably, panting and whimpering like a bitch in heat. She’s so fucking sexy. She cheated on me. Not once, but twice. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about her. Like I’m trying to prove I’m worthy enough to be her husband…

 Vulnerability and insecurity pings my chest. 

 I hate fucking feeling this way. I shouldn’t be running Y/N a warm bath to bring her to, changing the sheets, and going back to the bathroom to wash her. She cheated on me , so she should be catering to me . I know I neglected her. I haven’t told her I love and appreciate her in months. First time fucking her in months. Don’t remember the last time we went on a date. I know I have been a shitty husband, but still…

 The next morning came, but sleep wouldn’t come to me. So I sat up most of the night watching Y/N sleep. I felt like a fucking creep, however, I couldn’t help myself. She’s just so… perfect. And I’m the first motherfucker to say nothing or no one is perfect in this fucked up life… it just doesn’t apply to her. 

 Eventually, Y/N woke up and we’ve been in this comfortable, yet painful silence. Just us staring at each other and having a conversation with our eyes. I look at her and sometimes I still find it hard to believe that she fucking cheated on me. 

 “Why’d you do it?” I didn’t mind the quiet, but my mind would’ve exploded with how loud it’s being right now. 

 Her deep ochre complexion bathed underneath the sunlight that flashes in our room. She looks surreal, like a goddess. Paid millions for a penthouse to have the pleasure of looking at her first thing in the morning. Not like I have been taken advantage of it anyway. 

 She softly sighs. “Explaining to you why I did it will sound like a justification when it’s not.”

 “Just tell me.”

 “I… I thought you didn’t love me anymore,” she says, quietly. 

 “What?” Y/N’s response surprises the hell out of me, but I can tell this conversation is just as heavy as it is for me because tears start streaking down her cheeks. 

 “You haven’t touched me in almost a year, Toji. Every time I tried, you always rejected me. I felt so embarrassed. You don’t even look at me anymore.”

 “I do.”

 She shakes her head. “Not like how you used to. Not like right now, even if you’re mad at me.”

 Hearing her reason hurts me, but I allow her to continue because she looks like she’s just getting started.

 “I wanted attention. I want to feel desired, alive. Appreciated… loved—”

 “You love that motherfucker?” I growled. 

 “No, Toji. Fuck,” she lets out an exasperated breath, sitting up and allowing the sheets to fall from her chest. I can’t pretend I’m not getting hard while seeing her tits swollen and nipples pebbled, but now isn’t the time. “I feel so pathetic explaining to you. Do you really think I love, let alone look at anyone the way I do with you?”

  No.

 “I know you don’t.”

 “I just want to feel like that girl next door again when I was twenty-five and being reckless with a random guy I spent my whole entire night with. Free. Alive… happy. I just want to be happy with you.”

 Even if it’s not what I wanted to hear, this conversation was needed. I will never forget that Y/N cheated on me, but I can somewhat understand. She’s a stay-at-home wife. I told her I didn’t want her to work. We have no kids. It’s been this way for a decade. Y/N gets bored and lonely. Now that she mentions it, I have rejected or ignored her advances when she tries to have sex.

 Our marriage isn’t perfect. I’m fucked up. She fucked up, but she’s my sanity… I’m not willing to throw that away. 

 I deeply sigh. “I hear you, and I’m sorry that I make you feel like I don’t love you. I do. I fucking love you so much. I would give up my life for you. No hesitation. You know that, right?”

 “I know, baby.” Baby… fuck, I miss the way that sounds.  

 “I’ll work on being a better husband, but let me just say this.” My voice darkens, grabbing her chin to force her to look into my eyes. “No more of that motherfucker. You. Are. Mine. No one else's. You. That pussy. All of you belong to me. Don’t fucking share what’s mine again. I make myself clear?”

 All the tears and pain Y/N had before were replaced. Her beautiful big brown doe eyes deepened with hunger and lust. I know she’s turned on. Her nipples are practically screaming at me and she’s squeezing her thighs underneath the sheets. After all that fucking I gave her last night, she’s craving for more. I guess in a way I do have a lot of months to make up for. 

 “What’s on your mind, pretty girl?”

 “I want you fuck me.”

 I chuckle, closing the distance between our lips. “Is that how you ask?”

 “Toji, please come fuck me. I need you, baby.” Begging so fucking sweetly. 

 “Fuck, Y/N.” I crash my lips onto hers and fuck her endlessly like she asked. 

Reader

 Eventually I had to get ready for tonight’s event after being worshiped for hours by Toji. He fucked me with anger last night, but this morning… he made love to me. Our conversation about my cheating and his lack of effort in our marriage led to endless orgasms that put me to sleep until two hours ago. 

 Now we were hand held walking into a mansion the size of a country. 

 The Zen’in Estate. 

 Every year Toji’s cousin, Naoya, throws a huge party where rich people would come together to be snotty and talk about their wealth. 

 Toji and I live a pretty luxury lifestyle, but this party is definitely not our forte. Nonetheless, we come to show our support because that’s the last piece of family Toji has left and their relationship is good. 

 Unorthodox, but good. 

 Speaking of the devil…

 “Cousin Toji. Y/N. It’s nice to see the beautiful couple make it.” Bleached blonde hair. Piercings, standing at six feet tall—Naoya Zen’in. The resemblance between Toji and his cousin never ceases to amaze me. Whatever is in that Zen’in blood runs deep. Hard to believe they’re just cousins. 

 “Y/N, it’s been awhile and I see you’ve only gotten more beautiful since we last saw each other,” he says, giving me a hug and kiss on the cheek. Naoya pulls away, but keeps his hands at an appropriate spot on my back. “Stunning you are. Maybe it’s not too late for you to leave that jackass and come be with me.” Heat crawls in the center of my face at his compliment. I see Naoya is still Naoya. 

 Arrogant, cocky, flirtatious, and bold. Also, handsome. Very handsome, at that. The navy blue suit he’s wearing, where I could tell it’s a custom from how it’s tailored to his body compliments him well. But of course, he knows I’m not interested. 

 Before I opened my mouth to protest, Toji let out a low warning growl and put a possessive hand around my waist to pull me back to his side. “Tread lightly, Zen’in.”

 “Everything okay, Cousin Toji? You seem tense,” he asks, mockingly. 

 “Where’s your wife? I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate how you’re talking to my wife .” 

 Naoya smirks. “I can guarantee you Teresa doesn’t mind. And to answer your question, she excused herself to the ladies room. Should be back any min—ah, there she is!”

 I turn around and smile when I see Teresa walking toward us. Her natural coils are blown straight and cascading down her back. Beautiful brown skin that was a shade deeper than mine. 

 Teresa had curves of a model. Soft and dipped in the right places that filled her backless navy colored gown perfectly. She was beyond gorgeous. How was Naoya able to charm her into a marriage? Not sure. But here we are anyway. 

 I leave Toji's side to give Teresa a tight hug. “Ah, I miss you, T. It’s been too long. You look so beautiful.”

 “I missed you, too, Y/N. And me? Look at you, gorgeous! Tits out, high slit?” she says cheerfully. “I’m surprised Toji hasn’t pulled you to a room yet.”

 Toji chuckles, placing a kiss on Teresa’s cheek. “That’s what I’m planning on doing later. High slit. Better access.” I feel my cheeks warming up and wetness pooling my panties from his words because I know he’s serious. “It’s good to see you, Teresa. See you haven’t left Naoya yet.”

 “Nope. Not yet. Well, I probably can’t,” Teresa teases while placing a hand on her stomach. She moves to Naoya’s side to which he gives her a sensual kiss. “I’m pregnant.”

 “Really? Congratulations. That’s amazing. I finally have a reason to spend more money,” I elated, earning an eye roll from Toji. It’s his money I’m using, as if he cares because his spending habits are just as bad as mine. “How far along are you?”

 “Nine weeks. We just found out two days ago.” The conversation continues with Teresa and I catching up and discussing baby plans while our husbands bicker, as usual. 

 Eating, mingling, and a few glasses of champagne for me, hours later, Toji and I fell into a comfortable silence while swaying to the sound of music. His hand found comfort on the small of my back, causing heat and chills to radiate my body while my cheek rested on his chest to listen to his heartbreaks. Despite the hiccups in our marriage and my infidelity, Toji’s presence has always been comforting for me. I just feel so safe in his arms like if I am, no one will do me any harm. 

 Though, if looks could kill, half of the men in this room would be dead from Toji’s daggered look. 

 I knew how possessive and overprotective Toji was the moment I became his. Any type of male interaction I have, he gets jealous. No exceptions. Not even his cousin, but of course he’s an exception to not feeling Toji’s fist down his throat because he knows he does it to annoy him. 

 And it works every time. I giggle just thinking about it.

 “Something’s funny?” Toji’s deep and raspy voice breaks me from my thoughts.

 “No,” –I looked up at him–“just the alcohol.”

 “Ready to go home?”

 “No. Already trying to snatch me away?” I tease.

 “Maybe. All these motherfuckers keep staring at you, and I know their thoughts aren’t PG.”

 I shrug. “Cons of having a hot wife, no?”

 He smiles. “You look beautiful, Y/N. I don’t know if I told you that already.” He has. Over a dozen times, but who’s counting? I’m definitely not complaining. 

 I did feel gorgeous tonight. My emerald colored asymmetrical dress with a hint of sparkle matched perfectly with Toji’s eye color. Modest, but sexy with a high slit and strapless to show off the fullness of my tits. Light makeup and claw clip hairstyle that had my tendrils framing my face. 

 “Thank you, Mr. Zen’in. You cleaned up well yourself,” I say, rubbing his bottom lip with my thumb. “You look handsome, baby.” Toji’s favorite color is black. Ninety-nine percent of his wardrobe is black, but it’s just something about this black velvet suit hugging his frame that’s heating my core to flames. Not to mention him gelling his hair back. Fuck, I don’t know if it’s the alcohol thinking, which I know it isn’t, but I just want him to myself right now. 

 “What’s on your mind, Mrs. Zen’in?” The same question from this morning that had me struggling to get out of bed.

 “You know what’s on my mind.”

 He smirks, lowering his head to ghost over my ears. “You want me to fuck that tight pussy again? Last night and this morning wasn’t enough for you?” 

 “Toji,” I softly moan. “Just a quick one.”

 He kisses my neck. “Why should I?”

 “Because your horny wife needs you to make her cum.”

 “Shit,” he groans. “When you say it like that, you make it hard for me to resist.” Toji begins palming my ass, no worries about us being in the middle of the party. 

 So I return the favor, subtly massaging his clothed erection. I already knew how uncomfortably hard he was straining against his pants. I don’t know why he’s playing hard to get. 

 “Y/N.”

 “Come fuck me, Toji.” 

 “Fuck.” Toji lets out a low groan before grabbing my hand to guide me away from the party to find a room. 

 I have a smile on my face, truly convinced that I have an addiction to his touch because the pain and pleasure Toji gives me is all that I crave. 

Suguru

 I’ve been here a fucking hour and I have yet to see Y/N. I’m questioning if Satoru lied just to bring me out to get over her, as he would say. I don’t need to get over Y/N. I just need to fucking see her. To taste her, smell her. Hold her and fuck that tight wet pussy of hers. 

 I tried to get Y/N out of my mind by fucking other people, but it didn’t work. Not even a little. No one takes my cock the way she does. 

 I miss her voice, sweet whimpering sounds while I’m pounding into that warm pussy. I miss how messy she got around me. I can’t fucking stand to be without her. I love her so much it hurts. I still can’t believe she ignored me forty-five times.

 I’m honestly trying to remember if I ever pissed her off while we were still in contact. Aside from my asshole like tendencies that seems to charm her, I can’t think of anything. 

 I’m not interested in anyone else. All the women that have approached and continue to can just save their energy. None of them compare to—

 “Y/N.”

 “Huh?”

 Satoru taps my chest. “Y/N. She’s over there. Looks like she is here with her husband.” 

 I look over in the direction Satoru is pointing and fuck . She looks so fucking sexy. So goddamn beautiful. I’m not even in her proximity and my cock is aching in my pants. She’s wearing a dress that’s baring her thick thighs and has the cushion of her tits out on display that bounces every step she takes. Is it possible to become even more breathtaking over the course of two weeks? 

 In Y/N’s case— yes .

 But my arousal and joy only lasts so long until I realize that she’s being whisked away by her husband. My jaws ticked just seeing that. I expected Y/N to be here with that piece of shit to obtain an image, but she looks… happy. The smile on her smile shows excitement, like they’re about to go… no . 

  You gotta be fucking shitting me . 

 I think no further before my legs start moving and head toward their direction. I hear Satoru calling me, asking me where I’m going, but I don’t have time to tell him. He should know.

 By the time I made it to where I last saw Y/N, she had already disappeared from the party and I suspect into the dark hallway where partygoers probably won’t go. 

 There’s so many rooms in this fucking house. I don’t even know where to start. Calling her name out loud wouldn’t be ideal because I don’t want to scare her or sound creepy, but dammit I’m tempted. 

 As I get deeper in the hall, I hear soft moans and gasps coming from the double door room at the end. I know those sweet sounds from anywhere. 

  Y/N.

 But I’m not the reason why. 

 I lighten my steps as I approach the door and press my ear against it to hear better. 

 “Toji, oh, fuck!” Y/N cries. “Right there, baby. Right fucking there.”

  What the fuck?

 I hear everything. The honeyed whimpers. The harsh thrusts. Her pussy taking cock and gushing around it. Y/N pleading for a release, to go harder and deeper like she asked me. All of it reminded me of our first two times together. Gosh, I fucking miss her. 

 I should be mad. Actually, I am. Pissed, but I can’t act like her getting fucked isn’t turning me on. My cock pressing against my pants wouldn’t allow me to lie. I just wish it was me fucking her wet pussy instead of him.  

 If she needed cock, why didn’t she just reply to my calls and messages? I would’ve shown up without hesitation to please her. To relish that succulent pussy I know would taste like paradise—

 The sound of the door jumping startled me, but… they sound closer. 

 “… yours. This pussy is yours, Toji.”

  The fuck it is!

 I’m holding back my willpower to not bust through the doors and fucking kill her husband, but this is the closest thing I can get to Y/N right now. 

 I shouldn’t be doing this, palming my cock and drinking in all of her moans and drenched pussy I hear being pounded. Maybe, just maybe if I tune out her husband’s praises, I could focus on getting off to Y/N. 

 I look around before unbuckling my slacks to free my cock from its restraint. I shouldn’t be surprised that a bead of my precum is already leaking. Spitting on my hand to mix with precum, I used to lubricate my cock to start fisting myself. 

  “Hm, yes. I love your cock, Toji.”

  She loves my cock. 

 “Keep fucking me. Harder…Harder, please .”

 I grip my cock tighter and pick up the speed of my movements. 

  I’ll fuck you as hard as you want.

 “Do you feel lucky to have me, Toji? Tell me how much you love my pussy.”

  Fuck, you know I feel lucky, Y/N. I like that fat wet pussy so much. I love you, Y/N. 

 Heat spreads throughout my body from the excitement me and my cock are feeling. How does she sound so fucking sweet while taking cock? How can pussy be that good? I’m trying to prevent myself from cumming quickly, not wanting to cum until she does, but she’s making it hard. Me , hard. 

 I pump faster. I just wish it was Y/N doing this for me. I wish it was Y/N full and pretty lips stretch around my cock and taking my thrusts like a good girl. She takes me well in her pussy, I just know she would suck me off like a pro. 

 Thinking about it has me throbbing, aching for a touch. A visual of how she looks right now. Panting. Tears pricking. Tits bouncing obnoxiously. Her wetness, cream everywhere. At this point, I’m practically ripping the flesh off my cock.

 I keep my grunts and harsh breaths low enough so only I can hear. I’m so close to coming. I just want Y/N and I to cum together. 

 “Toji! Fuck! God, I’m about to come again.” A sharp cry comes Y/N. I can hear her husband chuckling and to keep it down before someone hears her, but she doesn’t care. 

 I loll my head against the door to steady myself, massaging my balls and stroking myself to Y/N’s climax. I can get caught. I’m in the middle of the hallway jacking myself off to Y/N being fucked like a creep. But I don’t give a fuck. When it comes to Y/N, I’m unhinged. Feral. I think without reason. 

 “Yes.”

  Yes .

 I circle my hand around my cock with eagerness. 

 “Yes.”

 I release my heavy cum filled balls to twist my length with both hands, showing extra love to my tip. 

 “Right there.”

 I’m here, Y/N.

I thrust my hips into my palms while fisting myself.

 “Keep giving it to me, Toji.”

  I’ll give you everything, anything you want, pretty girl. Just cum for me, okay?

 After that… my mind goes blank. My core stills as my release spills out, coating my hand and the door. I tug my bottom lip into my mouth to prevent my moans from slipping. The last time I orgasmed like this was when I fucked Y/N. I needed this. I needed to cum so badly. Of course, it’s not the same because I’m not the one who just fucked her, but this will do for now until I talk to her.

 I didn’t have time to come down from my high before I heard Y/N and her husband fixing themselves to come out. I tuck my cock back in my pants, clean my release off the door, and find a bathroom further down the hall to clean myself up.

 I didn’t expect to jack off to Y/N getting fucked by that jackass. It just happened. I couldn’t miss the opportunity because hearing her come sounds better than having sex with other women. 

 “Fuck, get it together, Suguru,” i mutter go myself. I just can’t help myself when it comes to the woman I love. 

 I leave the bathroom and think to myself how am I going to get Y/N away from her husband so we can talk—alone. Going up to her while she’s next to him wouldn’t be smart because I’m sure the fucker would know it’s me the minute he sees how I look at her. 

 Maybe I should try texting her? 

  No .

 I’ve already texted her twenty-five times. If I make it twenty-six, she’ll think I’m weird and creepy. 

 I don’t want her to have that impression of me. 

 The last thing I want is to involve Satoru in my love life, but I can probably have him–

 Y/N. 

 She’s less than ten feet away from me and alone. Perfect .

 “Y/N!” I call loud enough for her ears only. She turns around, big brown eyes zero in on me, shocked that she sees me, like I’m a ghost. 

 “Suguru? Wh-” I take three long strides to close the space between us before she questions why I’m here or protests. 

 Talking to her in the middle of the hallway wouldn’t be ideal, so I grab her wrist and pull her into the closest room to us, not caring about her objections and attempt to break my hold. I lock the door and pull her into my chest, inhaling her creamy vanilla and warm berries scent I love so much.

 “Y/N, I miss you.”

previous chapter | next chapter

[carpenterswife]

ALL MY GHOSTS (iv)

series masterlist

- summary: Beau discovers what you’ve been doing behind his back, and is the farthest thing from impressed. Upset you’ve been hiding your worries from him, he begins to push for answers from you. And, unwilling to give any, you fight back. Tensions rise as you and Beau have your first ever proper fight, and you go home on suspension. You’re left defenceless when you come face to face with danger.

- word count: 2911

- warnings: Mentions of domestic abuse, alcoholism.

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Beau liked to think he was a reasonable man. He was a lenient boss, and, in his opinion, a generally good guy. He didn’t like to fight with people outside of his job — especially not his friends and loved ones. He’d been like that with Carla; argumentative and unreasonable, so, these days, he tried not to be.

But you’d certainly pushed his buttons this time.

He caught sight of you the moment you walked into the bullpen for work (totally not because he’d been waiting). In an instant, he leapt up from his chair, leaving his office with a slam of the door that made you flinch in surprise. “L/N.”

You rose your brows at him, awfully confused at the harsh, angry demeanour he was presenting. “… yes?”

“I need to talk to you. My office. Now.” With those extremely threatening, and very intimidating, words, Beau turned and stalked back into his office That wasn’t like him. You’d never seen Beau this mad before.

Confused and worried, you turned to look at Pop. All the deputy could do was shrug, just as clueless as you were. Sighing, you hurried to Beau’s office, feeling very much like a child about to be scolded.

Oh, yeah. Beau looked like he wanted to rip your damn head off.

“Hey.” You shut the door gently behind you, eyes on him. You were steaks that, if you looked away for a second, he’d lunge at you like a damn lion. He drummed his fingers on the top of his desk, expression emotionless. “What’s going on, Beau?”

He pressed his tongue to his cheek for a moment. “You trust me, yeah?” You stared at him, confused. Your lack of a response made Beau grit his teeth. “That wasn’t rhetorical.”

“Oh—!” You stepped forwards, closer to his desk. Risky move. “Oh! yeah. Yes. I trust you.”

“Right.” He practically spat out the word. Your brows shot up. Something was extremely wrong here. Your skin crawled uncomfortably, “And, if I recall,” his gaze darkened, fingers stopping their drumming, “you told me you’d come to me for help.”

You stared blankly for a moment, trying to understand his point. “Yeah, I did. So?” You shook your head, utterly confused. Anxiety churned in your stomach. “What’s this about?”

He scoffed, standing up. His tall, intimidating stance made you step backwards. Putting his hands flat on the desk, he leant forward. “How come I had to find out you’re being stalked through a fuckin’ text message to the wrong person?” Dread washed over you. You didn’t respond, lips parted as you just stared at him. “Huh?”

This was bad. When you refused to tell Beau about what was going on, you didn’t think this far ahead. The idea of him being mad at you for not telling him hadn’t crossed his much. But it course he was going to be mad — he was naturally a protective, worrisome person. Of course he was going to want to know.

You’d dug yourself a deep, deep hole.

Biting your tongue, you calmed your anxiety. It was time for damage control. “Okay, Beau—“ you tried the gentle approach, treading towards his desk. “It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, okay?”

Beau didn’t move an inch. His expression didn’t even change. “Then why didn’t you?”

“Because you’re busy—“

“Fuck that!” He barked, not giving you the change to finish.

You bit your tongue at Beau’s words. God, he was mad. You’d never seen him like this before. You’d seen him angry at suspects, but this was worse than that. He’d never been this angry and this upset — or, at least, you’d never seen him like this before.

“You know, and I know, that I’d fuckin’ help you, Y/N.” He said lowly, his anger evident. You noticed his accent got thicker when he was mad. It wasn’t helping at all. “No matter what was on my schedule, I’d help. So why didn’t you come to me?” He demanded an answer; there was lying to him or avoiding it now.

But you were sure as hell going to try. You ran a hand through your hair. “Why are you making this such a big deal, Beau?”

Anger bubbling higher, he released a scoff, shaking his head. “Because it is a big deal!” You opened your mouth. His hand shot out. “Ah, ah! Let me finish!” He ordered loudly, like he was speaking to a child. You closed your mouth immediately, mostly in surprise. “Right now, it feels like you don’t trust me. You promised you’d come to me.”

“Listen, I just didn’t wanna worry you, ‘kay?” You stepping towards his desk, trying to cool him down. This was getting out of hand, fast. “After everything with— with Avery, I didn’t wanna put more on your plate.”

“That’s bullshit.” He squeezed his hands into fists. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, Beau simmering in his rage. “Tell me what’s going on. I want to know. Now.” He seethed. “Who the fuck is Jack?”

You stared at the ceiling. Huffing, you shook your head. “No.”You looked back to meet his eyes, body cold with dread and guilt.

“Why not?” He challenged, becoming angrier with your every word. “You don’t trust me? You told Cassie and Jenny.”

“That’s different, Beau—“

“How is it different?!”

“Because it is!” You raised your voice to a yell.

It surprised you as much as it did Beau. His brows shot up, standing straighter as your voice got louder and more aggressive. You closed your eyes and attempted to calm yourself down.

He grit his teeth, and held out his hand. “Give me your gun and your badge.” He said lowly.

Your eyes shot open. “What?”

“Give me.. your gun.. and badge.” He repeated slowly, pissed off. His teeth ground together, eyes dark with rage as he glared at you. “You’re on one week suspension for insubordination.”

You gawked at him, completely taken aback. “You cannot be serious.” You shook your head. You took another step forwards, brows knitted together, making an attempt to get through to him. “You’re mad at me, I get it. But you can’t suspend me for that!”

Beau didn’t even react. “Don’t make me make it two.”

You scoffed in disbelief, tearing your badge off your belt. You slapped it into his hand. Beau nearly flinched as the metal sent a sting up his palm. Unclipping your holster, you slammed that and your gun inside onto his desk. Beau’s eyes didn’t leave you, watching the tension in your jaw increase.

Without even another look at him, you stormed out of his office, slamming the door behind you with your foot.

What utter bullshit.

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“He suspended you?”

Jenny and Cassie couldn’t quite believe it when you told them what’d happened. Beau yelling at you? Him suspending you? None of that sounded right. It didn’t sound like the Beau Arlen they’d all come to know and love.

Yet, the distinct lack of your badge and gun on your hip proved your words truthful. In the whole time Beau had worked as sheriff in Helena, he’d never once suspended someone. He once said he didn’t think it was a suitable punishment.

But, here you were, suspended for a week over an argument. It was petty of him. But, Beau was a rather petty man when he wanted to be. To pull out the superior card and actually punish you? It was such a him move that it made it even more annoying.

You downed the remainder your cocktail, face pulling together in distaste at the strong burn of vodka on your throat. “With pay, at least.” You sighed, putting your empty glass down on the table. That was a positive. Beau hadn’t been so heartless to suspend you without pay. At least you were still getting paid. “I can’t fucking believe he suspended me over a fight. Bullshit. What an asshole.” You didn’t mean it. You were just mad.

Jenny sighed deeply, rubbing her forehead. She knew you were speaking from your emotions, and that you’d regret insulting Beau like you had been all night. “Listen, I’ll talk to him.” She attempted to soothe you. “He was probably just upset. He’ll regret it when he wakes up tomorrow. You know what Beau’s like.”

And she was right. You did.

Too much.

“And he’s stubborn.” You pointed out, twirling your cocktail glass on the table. “Once he sets his mind on something, he doesn’t go back on it, even if he regrets it.” Jenny sighed once again, knowing you were right. He wouldn’t take you off suspension until the one week was over.

Because he was a stubborn and petty bastard like that.

“I’m not too upset over being suspended. It’s just the fact he did it.” You attempted to explain to the two girls, who nodded in understanding of your words. After all, why wouldn’t you be upset? Beau was your closest friend, and he’d suspended you because you raised your voice during a fight.

You chewed your cheek as you thought deeply.

Maybe you should just tell him the truth. Right? That’d make everyone’s life easier. Beau would understand, probably take you off suspension, and Jenny would be able stop playing mediator.

But your pride was not going to allow you to roll over and admit Beau won this time. Nope. He’d started a fight. And you were going to stick to your side of the ring, not stroll over to his side and admit defeat right at the start.

If Beau wanted to be petty, you could be pettier.

“Another round?” Cassie asked. With a nod a each from you and Jenny, she got up to walk to the bar and order.

Jenny leant her elbows on the table. “We found something.” Your brows raised, full attention now on her. You, too, sat forwards to listen better. “Jack, your ex.” You tried your best not to flinch at his name, but did anyway. Jenny, bless her heart, didn’t mention it. “He used his credit card at a gas station five miles out of town.”

“Seriously?” Despite your calm exterior, you felt your heart rate begin to speed up. So, you’d been right. Jack was crazy enough to travel from New York to Montana just to find you. Fucking psycho. “When?”

“Last week. The day before the flowers were delivered to the station.”

That was enough of a confirmation for you. Your abusive ex-fiancé was stalking you. The realisation hit you, and instantly made you feel sick. You didn’t know what he wanted, but you knew it wasn’t going to be good.

As Cassie sat down, with three shots, you didn’t hesitate to reach out and grab one, downing it. You were going to need more of these.

Cassie stared at you in bewilderment, and then exchanged a look with Jenny. You were too busy willing yourself to not panic over this to pay attention to their silent conversation.

Reaching out, Cassie grasped your hand, startling you. Your eyes snapped to her, meeting her kind eyes and reassuring smile. “We’re gonna fix this. All of it.” She squeezed your hand gently, making your shoulders relax a bit. Though it was jerky, you nodded in response. “What can you tell us about Jack?”

You pulled your hand back from Cassie’s, setting it on your lap. “He’s a narcissist.” You fiddled with the hem of your sweater. “He’s a sadist. He— he got off on hurting me.“ You closed your eyes tightly at the memory of swinging fists and deep purple bruises.

Two hands rested on your arm, grounding you back to the bar you were in. Your eyes opened and stared down at your arm, at Jenny and Cassie’s hands cooling your warm skin.

“It’s hard to reason with him, he always thinks he’s right.”

“Shut the fuck up. Stop being a bitch.”

“He likes to be in control. He… liked to say he owned me. I should’ve realised something was wrong, really, when he started saying that.”

“Get on your knees. Now. Fucking whore.”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Jenny’s voice snapped you from your mind, bringing you back to the present, effectively calming you. She’d caught sight of the distant look in your eyes. “We get the point. He’s a bastard.”

You cracked a smile at Jenny’s words, tension draining from your posture. “He has major mommy issues.” That was enough to get a smirk from Jenny and an amused look from Cassie.

“We’re gonna catch this guy.” Cassie squeezed your arm. “I promise.”

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Jenny Hoyt was not the type of woman you wanted to upset. To get on her bad side, was to sign a death warrant. She could be your worst enemy, and also your closest, most trusted friend.

And, unfortunately for him, it was Beau Arlen’s turn to be on the receiving side of her anger. He squeezed the pen in his hands to reign in his frustration. “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t need your input.”

Standing her ground, Jenny stared back at Beau, who seemed far too relaxed for someone who just suspended his closest friend. “Suspending her was too far.” Her arms folded tightly across her chest, her eyes hard and narrowed as she stared down at him challengingly.

Beau rubbed his index and middle fingers across his forehead, muttering to myself. “Jenny—“

“I get it, Beau.” The blonde said, frustrated. “You wanna help. But you ever think that maybe Y/N isn’t telling you because it’s hard for her?” That made Beau’s jaw tighten. Jenny sighed heavily, glad to be somewhat getting through to him. “The things she’s been telling us? Beau… they’re horrific.”

Beau wet his lips with his tongue, and chewed on his bottom lip. A heavy weight of concern and guilty settled down on his chest. Maybe he shouldn’t have suspended you after all.

“I know you’re upset she didn’t tell you, but she needs you.”

He stared at her doubtfully. “She doesn’t—“

“No, she does.” Jenny cut in. Her eyes hardened. “She needs you, and you need her, and you’re both too stubborn to admit it.” Beau allowed himself to chuckle quietly at that. He knew Jenny was right. “She needs your support.“

Sighing, the sheriff relented. He sat back in his chair, and it creaked under his weight. “Okay.” He nodded, spinning his pen between his fingers. “I’ll stop by her place when I finish tonight.”

Jenny sighed in relief. “Good.” She smiled, pleased. “And don’t be a dick.”

Beau scoffed, tapping the end of his pen against his open file. “I ain’t a dick.” He rolled his eyes at Jenny’s deadpan stare. Groaning, he pushed a hand through his hair. “Fine. I was a dick t’her. I’ll apologise, swear it.”

“You better.”

He held his hands up in surrender, amused at his friend’s insistence. “Swear. I’ll even bring her chocolate. Y���know? Win ‘er over.”

Jenny chuckled and nodded. Convincing Beau was easier than she’d expected, thank god for that. “Don’t let her push you away, Arlen.” She stepped back, towards the exit of the sheriff’s office, pointing her index finger at him. “She needs you. She just doesn’t want to admit it.”

Beau watched her go, amused.

Jenny Hoyt: matchmaker extraordinaire.

He’d visit you tonight and apologise, even if it’d sting his pride and ego to do it.

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Feeding three needy cats was an everyday battle for you, snd it was one that never got an easier. It was like running a really hard marathon with no water. You threw yourself down on the couch as the cats finally gave up on their battles and decided to eat peacefully, relieved to finally be off your feet.

You hadn’t stopped thinking about Beau, and how angry he’d been at you.

Maybe you should apologise.

No, you didn’t do anything wrong.

But… maybe you did. Maybe you should have just told him what was going on front the start. He was your closest friend. Your sheriff. You were meant to trust him. Why hadn’t you told him?

It was something to do with you distrust of men.

But it was Beau. Beau, who wouldn’t hurt you even if you had a gun to his head.

Your internal battle was interrupted by your doorbell. A glance at your phone showed the notification for movement at your front door. Sighing, you stood up and padded to the door, expecting Jenny or Cassie with news. Or, if you were lucky, maybe even Beau with his tail between his legs.

You were stupid to unlock the door without checking.

For gods sake, you were a cop. You’d seen the crime scenes. You’d read the reports and files. But, here you were, making the same mistakes.

And it bit you in the ass immediately.

Because the face on the other side of your front door was not a friendly one.

“Jack?”

The man grinned — that same lopsided grin that used to make you shiver. It still did. “Hiya, doll.” Your grip on the door tightened. “We need to talk.”

You reached for your holstered gun, only to meet air. Right. Your gun was at the station, with Beau, as a result of your suspension.

God damnit, Beau.

As he stepped forwards, you stepped back. “Jack—“

Too late.

Your body hit the ground, unconscious, as darkness filled in your vision.

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taglist: @yvonneeeee @deans-spinster-witch @fanfic-n-tabulous @dwonfilm @foxyjwls007 @just-levyy

[electricvinyls]

guys this is sooo important, for those who have been long time followers, especially from my osemanverse days. ive realised something.

I have transitioned from a total tori to a michael holden and it's brilliant.

I used to be incredibly depressed, and honestly I did not mind getting worse. I was full of self loathing and I was annoyed and hateful. everything was the cause of my issues, but I was also solely at fault. I internalised my all my issues with myself and projected my hate by being blunt and rude and mean. it's hard to explain because I have awful emotional permanence, but I was so pessimistic and drowning in my own sorrow or whatever edgy thing. I had long black hair and I wore dark dreary clothing, jumpers exclusively. I was in that sad tortured tumblr girl community and they all definitely made me worse by telling me how relatable I was. and asking me to post more, treating me like some tori spring-esque idol

now though? oh now it's amazing. i'm so much happier, yes I get sad and depressed and angry but it's nothing like before. i'm so inclined to be an optimist and reassure the people around me that it'll be okay. I can be apathetic but I want to help. I feel like a much bigger presence than I was before. I don't let people who make me feel awful stick around. I feel very in charge, I reach out to people to hang out. i hate classes and know im not some genius but i know what i'm good at and get so passionate. I smile and laugh and feel somewhat normal. my hair is short and curly, it doesn't lay in place unless i force it too. i wear these big dorky glasses. im not hot but not ugly, but I feel amazing. I feel like a person, I really do. I'm in love and I don't care for labels but I'm happy and stuck to my boyfriend at the hip. I've grown into a person i can be comfortable as. I still get all that depression, but it's a process and this is a damn good start.

[babybemydownfall]

things that shimmer in the dark Part IV: Rhys ( Part III ) There was no point denying it so I kissed her instead, hard and demanding. I wanted her tongue on mine, her body melting, opening for me; wanted to make love to her, to feel her surrender - to us, and everything we could be.  AKA An all night love-fest in the Archeron manor. Definitely NSFW. Read on AO3 or under the cut below. (Also, I only recently realised that my avatar, which comes from a poem by Iain S Thomas and which I've had for 10+ years, is Rhysand: There you are. I've been looking for you. How spooky.)

II

By the time we retired to bed after finalising our letter to the Queens, it was gone midnight. Feyre was tense and exhausted. I’d felt her all afternoon and evening, her shield weak, her emotions pouring out across our bond. She’d been anxious and angry; frustrated and forgiving. And whenever she looked at me, she burned.

I had worn a mask all my life, ingrained in me from a young age. And I had very rarely let it slip, despite times when I’d felt overwhelming rage or fear or despair. But it turned out that the most powerful distraction of all was lust. Whenever Feyre turned her beautiful blue-grey eyes on me, I struggled to stay composed, to keep my expression neutral and my breathing even. When her awful oldest sister questioned whether she was too good for human food anymore and Feyre replied that she could eat, drink, fuck and fight even better than before, my fork clanged to my plate as everything inside me went taut with desire. I wanted her so badly, so immediately, that it took every ounce of my willpower not to grab her and winnow us straight back to my house.

And later, as we wrote and rewrote the damned letter, the four of us arguing over each word and punctuation mark, her closeness was certainly a hindrance. When she leaned in to read what I’d written, I felt her long hair brushing my neck; the curve of her breast against my arm. The scent of her skin, of her arousal, was intoxicating. I would not let Cass and Azriel suspect a thing but whenever I was sure they weren’t looking, I touched her as much as I dared - my finger brushing hers on the page; my thigh shifting on my chair so it pressed against her knee. I loved the way her body reacted: a soft, short inhale; a pulse of longing down the bond.

I found myself thinking multiple times that I was so glad we had had each other in the kitchen earlier. I couldn’t imagine how difficult the rest of the day would have been without that release. And I had meant what I’d said to her there: this thing between us was a bad idea, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I had spent the previous day avoiding her, my mind constantly churning over what I should do. Getting drunk hadn’t helped - I only ended up sad and missing her. I had barely slept afterwards, thanks to the alcohol and my racing thoughts and the memories of our first morning together which left me with a very persistent erection.

When she found me in the kitchen, I still didn’t know what the right thing to do was. But as soon as I scented her, when I saw how fucking stunning she looked and how she went slack with longing for me, I realised there was no actual choice here. I couldn’t just bare myself to her - literally and emotionally - and simply walk away. She was my mate. This was bigger than both of us: it was what the Cauldron had destined; a bond more sacred and permanent than any other. It was inescapable. Undeniable. And Feyre didn’t know the truth, but I knew she felt it too: that we were something extraordinary.

And now, finally, we were alone together once again. She hadn’t reacted when I’d said we would share a room - a room I had immediately shielded, to keep loud sounds in and bad things out. But she did turn to me in surprise when I made my own bed appear and sat down on it.

“What are you doing?”

I looked up at her, still dressed in her stunning turquoise outfit. She wore it like she belonged in the Night Court. Or perhaps it wore her. It wanted her - just as I did.

“Being on my best behaviour,” I replied evenly. “We’re in your father’s house. I didn’t know if you’d want to…”

“I’ve spent all evening trying to keep my hands off you. And now you don’t want to touch me?”

She sounded like she was annoyed with me, which made me smile. “Oh, I do want to touch you, Feyre darling.” My voice was low. “Every single inch of you.”

There was a fire crackling in the hearth across the room and it shone in her dark eyes, in the golden waves of her hair. I leaned back on my outstretched arms and her gaze travelled down my body. I was still fully dressed but she knew what lay beneath now; and if I hadn’t been wearing black, she would have been able to see my cock rise in my pants.

“The last time I was in this house,” she said quietly, “I left to run after Tamlin. To go under the mountain and save him. And yet here I am, barely any time later… with you.” She tugged at her sleeve, looking around the room. “That’s wrong, isn’t it?”

I waited until her eyes met mine again. She seemed so vulnerable, so young all of a sudden. “I don’t think it is,” I told her honestly. “I don’t think time is what matters, in our case.”

“Then what does matter?”

I held out my hand. “Come here.”

Slowly she moved towards me and took it, standing between my legs. I may as well have been kneeling before her again, such was her position of power over me right now.

“What matters, Feyre, is how you feel. What makes you happy. What helps you heal. And I think I can speak to that, because you are all those things for me. Already.”

I felt her tremble in front of me. She was scared. And I knew why - but I couldn’t hide the depth of my feelings from her. I didn’t want to.

“Why does this seem so… inevitable?” she whispered.

Because I am your mate.

I could have told her then. No doubt it would have helped ease the guilt she still carried over Tamlin, the confusion she felt over us. But this was not the place: not in the human lands, in her family home; not when there was danger out there, lurking beyond my Court’s protection. And not when it meant I would have to face her rejection - because she wasn’t ready yet. Wasn’t healed, wasn’t strong enough. And neither was I, to have her push me away.

For now I would take whatever she was willing to give - her friendship, her smiles, her body - and not think too far into the future. As she had so wisely said: we might all die soon. And I would be a fool not to enjoy every moment with her, because I had known from the second I first saw her that she was the light in my eternal darkness.

Instead of saying any of that, I lifted my hands to her hips and guided her to straddle my lap. She did so without hesitation, settling halfway along my thighs - not near enough to feel how hard I was for her. Not yet. But having her this close, all to myself behind a locked door, I felt my soul sigh.

There you are. I’ve been looking for you.

“Perhaps it is inevitable,” I said softly. “The question is, what do you want to do about it? You are in charge here. I will follow your lead.”

I had never uttered those words before, outside of battle when I fell in line behind my commander. But I trusted Feyre with everything I was. I saw her, with all her broken pieces and her courageous human heart and the magic she contained which had nothing to do with her powers. I wanted it all.

And she wanted me too. It was in her beautiful eyes; written all over her face. I couldn’t stop myself from leaning in and pressing a lingering kiss to the side of her neck. I felt her body melt in my arms, her head tilting back. My name rose from her lips to the ceiling, like a prayer.

“Rhys.”

I kissed her there again, the scent of her blood filling my senses; moved up to her ear where I breathed: “What do you want, darling?”

Her fingers slid into my hair, drawing me back so she could look at me. At the same time, I took hold of her hips and pulled her into me, connecting the heat of her core with the raging hardness of mine.

The air sparked around us and we both groaned.

“You,” Feyre murmured, her breath on my mouth, her gaze filled with nothing but lust - that most powerful of emotions, sweeping everything else aside. “I want you. All over me. All night long.”

A smile started to form on my lips but she kissed me before it got there. And from that moment on, we were lost. Our hands slipped beneath each other’s clothes onto warm, sensitive skin. I had never had the pleasure of physically undressing her before, of slowly revealing her exquisite body inch by inch. I followed the fabric of her top with my lips, from her navel to her ribcage to her bare breasts, so pert and full and ready for my attention. She moaned so headily when I circled my tongue over her nipples and I could smell her arousal as it flooded her underwear, as she ground herself against my length.

The top disappeared over her head and then we worked together to remove mine as well. As our mouths found each other again I slid my arm up along the column of her spine, my hand splayed between her shoulder blades, and drew her further into me so her bare chest pressed against mine. Her kisses were voracious, her moans constant as she rocked her hips and took her pleasure from me.

Untamed Feyre was the hottest thing I had ever encountered.

And then she suddenly pulled back to look at me, her eyes so dark with desire, her voice husky as she commanded: “Take me to bed, Rhys.”

I could not have refused her if my life depended on it.

I carried her there, drawing back the duvet and laying her down. I had already warmed the sheets and she looked surprised, grateful. But she didn’t speak - couldn’t, perhaps - as she grasped at my shoulders and pulled me onto her, reclaiming my mouth, touching every part of me within reach. I covered us again, burying down with her into the softness of the bed as we kissed on and on. I had never known how thoroughly arousing it was, to be half-bare and writhing around by the light of the fire, our sounds hushed and urgent. Despite my shield, we were both aware of my brothers just next door, of Feyre’s sisters down the hall - but that only added to the mood.

This was secret and sacred and ours.

I eventually trailed my lips down to her breasts again, and then further - kissing her centre through her trousers before kneeling between her legs and slipping them off entirely. She was wearing the same lacy white panties I’d watched her put back on in the kitchen, and they were wet through. I heard myself growl as I pulled them off too, the urge to taste her impossible to resist, but she stopped me from getting anywhere near her with her bare foot on my chest.

I stared at her, unable to fathom why she would deny me.

“I’m in charge, remember?” she said firmly. “Lie down.”

Giving up control was not natural for me - but Feyre was a goddess and I obeyed.

She made very quick work of my pants and underwear, and then slid all the way down the bed and wrapped her hot mouth around me. I had never known anything so good before: the sight of her there, the brush of her hair and her hands on my thighs and abdomen, the way she sucked and licked and bobbed up and down-

I reached for her after barely any time at all, tugging on her shoulders, groaning her name. But she ignored me and carried on. Her eyes met mine and I imprinted the image in my mind, of the lust and determination in her gaze, of my cock disappearing between her lips over and over again, her rhythm faultless, bringing me closer and closer to the edge.

“Feyre,” I gasped, “I’m-”

She scratched her fingernails all the way down my torso and I came, so hard I lost all of my senses for the longest, most ecstatic moment. I felt her fingers cover my mouth, to keep me quiet, but there was no fucking chance when her tongue was still swirling over me, when my hips were still bucking and I was still coming. It was unbearable and heavenly and I never, ever wanted it to end.

Eventually I did return to the present; felt Feyre retreat and opened my eyes to find her looking down at me with a very satisfied smirk. I was too dazed to speak, to tell her how fucking amazing she felt and what I wanted to do to her next - but it didn’t matter. She had let her fingers drift down onto my chest; I took her wrist and brought her palm back to my lips, licking the tattooed eye there in a single broad stroke. Her smirk disappeared as she felt me in her very core.

I tugged on her hips, pulling her up my body until she was kneeling over my face. She braced herself on the headboard and I inhaled her incredible scent, all her muscles trembling, her breathing shallow, ragged. And then I feasted on her, gorging myself on her softness and her taste, eating her gorgeous cunt until she was all over my face. I kneaded her ass, explored her thighs; slid two fingers inside her and fucked her like that while I sucked on her clit. She came in no time at all, with a muffled scream and a gush of wetness which I lapped up like I was dying of thirst.

When she collapsed onto me, I gently drew her back down into bed to lie by my side so we were facing one another, our limbs loosely entwined. I took half a second to clean my face with magic, but left her taste on my tongue. It would be sacrilege to erase that.

She smiled, gazing at me through heavily lidded eyes. “You are very good at that,” she said, and she shivered - an aftershock. It made my cock ache for her.

“You taste fucking divine, Feyre. I can’t get enough of you. And your mouth…” I outlined her lips with my thumb; they parted and I traced over her bottom teeth too. “So pretty, yet so wicked. I’ve never felt anything so phenomenal.”

I pressed my lower body into hers, letting her know I was ready for more. She looked straight at me and bit down on my nail, firm enough to hurt. Beneath the duvet I felt her hand wrap around my length. Flames roared to life in my blood once more and I hissed, like the wild beast I was.

“So eager,” she teased, licking the sensitive pad of my thumb.

There was no point denying it so I kissed her instead, hard and demanding. I wanted her tongue on mine, her body melting, opening for me; wanted to make love to her, to feel her surrender - to us, and everything we could be. Without thinking I reached for her down the bond, needing her closer, even though physically there was no space between us. As I felt her grip onto me, an embrace around my very soul, I rolled on top of her perfect body and thrust inside her: back where I belonged.

She cried out at being so full; hooked her legs around my waist, inviting me deeper, and I moved slowly at first, trying to be restrained until that became impossible. She felt so good, so right, that I just couldn’t contain myself. And she wanted it: I felt her desire envelop mine inside my mind, where we were intertwined; swallowed the words she gasped into my mouth - “Harder… More… Rhys! Fuck… Yes, more…”

I tilted her pelvis with my hand and reached new depths, and she broke away from my kiss to let out the most guttural sound as she clenched and shook and stretched around me. I dipped my head, sucking on her neck, her right breast, her nipple; kept rolling my hips, fucking her faster and harder than ever before. We were both grunting, moaning, sweat on our skin, her nails digging into my back - and then we were coming, together, a crescendo of movement and sound and rising, cresting pleasure that felt like it would never end.

It didn’t, for a long time. I might have drifted off to sleep briefly, for when I next opened my eyes I was lying on my front on the bed, the duvet over my lower body, feeling more relaxed than I had in decades.

I reached out for Feyre down the bond, checking she was okay; felt her in the adjoining bathroom and closed my eyes again, letting myself doze. Eventually I heard her footsteps on the carpet and then the bed shifted as she sat beside me. Her fingertips traced lightly down my spine and I groaned at how nice it felt.

“I didn’t know you had tattoos here,” she said softly. “And your wings…” She touched the strong muscles of my upper back. “I want to see you with them.”

My voice was so low it made my ribcage vibrate. “You have.”

“Naked,” she clarified.

I smiled. “One day. Not here.”

She leaned in, surrounding me with her scent, her hair; pressed gentle kisses to my ear, my cheek, the corner of my lips. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone had touched me with so much tenderness. The last time anyone had cared about me like this. It made my throat hurt.

When I finally opened my eyes her face was all I could see, so close to mine, our every breath shared. She smiled and sat back up, and that’s when I realised she was wearing my shirt. It was unbuttoned, and she was still completely naked beneath. I had never seen anything so sexy.

My emotions were forgotten in an instant.

“Feyre.”

I rose up, kneeling in front of her, taking her in.

“I was cold,” she said, a little defensive, a little surprised by the strength of my reaction.

“You look…” I reached for her, pulling her against me. I had thought I was completely sated - I was wrong. “Let me warm you up.”

This insatiable need for each other, this wild passion - it felt endless. Frenzied. We fell to the bed and she straddled my waist, discarding the shirt to the floor. As she began to kiss me all over, the small part of my brain which remained functional wondered what would happen if she ever accepted the mating bond. How we would survive.

Then it gave in as Feyre washed over me, as I let myself drown in her once again.

When she rode me she held my hands, our fingers interlaced. I could do nothing but stare at her. The way the firelight danced over the planes of her body as she moved; the flush on her skin, the dark desire pouring from her eyes. I was no painter, but she was a piece of art.

“Feyre darling,” I breathed, grazing my palms along her thighs, feeling my climax building slowly, deliciously. “Will you touch yourself for me? I want to watch you.”

Her dream of me was only a night ago - it felt like a century.

She put her fingers in my mouth and I licked them, my desire rocketing at how fearless she was, how unembarrassed. If I had thought she’d be hesitant in bed or perhaps shied by our age gap, by her relative lack of experience, I was wrong. And yet she was not a sultry, confident vixen either. I could only conclude that she really did trust me, enough to be herself, to show herself to me - to be bare in every possible way.

And that made me more hopeful for our future together than anything else we’d said or done.

Now she circled her clit, her left hand holding her breast, pinching her nipple. Her tattoos were a stunning contrast to the rest of her pale skin. When the sensations became too much, her head tilted back and her spine arched, her long messy curls almost reaching her bottom. And still I watched, my hips now thrusting of their own accord, meeting her movements. I was already at the edge; could have let myself fall at any second. But I held on, waiting for her, completely awed by how fucking incredible she was.  

If things had been different, I would have told her I loved her. The words were on the tip of my tongue, filling my mind. I let the smallest trickle of that golden feeling travel down the bond to her. Even though she didn’t know its name, I knew she liked it - saw the smile on her lips, felt her clench and tighten as I pounded into her harder, faster, as she peaked and then shattered.

It was too much. I lifted her off me, turning her onto her front, pulling up her hips. She was weak, boneless; still in the throes of her pleasure. “You have to be quiet,” I rasped and then I thrust inside her again, deeper than ever before. Her hands fisted the duvet and she bit it, her screams subdued but still there, still heavenly to hear.

“Feyre,” I groaned, the sweetest sound in the world. “Fuck, Feyre. You feel- I’m so- ”

I spilled inside her with a roar, breaking my own rule but utterly unable to care. I felt her coming too, a continuation of her last orgasm. Endless, all-consuming fulfilment.

This time we were both thoroughly done. I fell to her side, bringing her body with me so I was spooned up behind her, quickly cleaning us up with half a thought. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to move again. I didn’t want to. I pressed my face into her neck, inhaling her, wishing I could disappear into her forever. If there was nothing else but this, I would die happy.

Our breathing gradually slowed. The fire had burned low, the moon now illuminating us through the uncovered window. I ran the fingers of my left hand along the ink on Feyre’s arm, watching as the soft blonde hairs stood on end in my wake. I knew the bond that tied us together wasn’t the bargain that had been written on her skin: it was the mating bond. That’s why we could communicate, why we could feel so much of each other. I wondered how it would change if we were ever truly mated. How much more of her I would feel, how deeply I would know her. I wanted her to be mine so badly it made my soul ache.

The bond was another secret I kept. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold it inside.

“What time is it?” she asked, her words merging into a yawn.

“Fuck knows.” I was tired and emotional, which always made me swear more. That and having sex with Feyre.

I pulled the covers over us and then looked outside. The air was still and crisp. There had been snowfall earlier, but it had stopped now. “Usually,” I said, voicing my thoughts aloud, “I can feel the night. The coming of the dawn. But the darkness is different on this side of the Wall. It’s not… mine.”

She turned her head towards me. The moonlight caught her eyes, making them shine. “I love your darkness,” she said quietly. “I feel it, under my skin. It soothes me. Of all the powers I was given, yours is my favourite.”

You were made for me, I wanted to tell her. Wanted to shout it, for the whole world to hear. It’s so obvious. Can’t you see?

And then she went on sleepily: “The nights feel longer here. I was born on the longest, actually. The Winter Solstice.”

I was stunned. Totally speechless. She must have mistaken my silence for fatigue, because she whispered goodnight and in less than a minute, she was asleep.

I held her, wide awake, heart hammering. I kissed the point of her ear and murmured, so softly it was almost inaudible: “You are my mate, Feyre Archeron. And I fucking love you.”

II

TBC...