#ive been sending a lot of insane things that i see to my friends

[crowreans]

been keeping a collection

[serendipitous-mage]

......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier

[0tul1ss]

.

[izzyy-stuff]

heyy izzy! i don’t think ive ever sent in a request to you before but i absolutely love your work so i thought i’d send something in. could you please do a roommate!taehyun fic where he accidentally walks in on you while you’re in the shower but then decides to join you which then ends up in him fucking you while you’re pressed against the cold shower wall and one leg pulled over his shoulder so he can hit deep :)

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐘 - 𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍

roommate!taehyun x fem!reader

in which what originally was supposed to be just a quick shower to help him relax takes a different turn when he walks into the bathroom and sees you already in the shower, deciding to relieve his frustration differently than he originally intended to.

wc 2.5k

warnings shower sex, unprotected sex + creampie, vaginal fingering, tiny mention of nipple play, oral (f. receiving), overstimulation, pet names, softdom!taehyun, biting/marking

↪ izzy speaks... I can't believe tae had zero works until now... like that's insane. I'm glad I can finally show it to you though. The writing process for this was for someone reason extremely SLOW. Everyone thank serene for being my life saver again and helping me get through whatever writing block I was feeling while writing this.

Kang Taehyun must have been the safest choice for a roommate ever. 

Unlike the other guys in your friend group, he was calm and knew when to shut up. Taehyun could cook, making your life a lot easier when he offered to make dinner as often as he could, and he was outside the dorm most of the time, too. If he wasn’t in the library studying after his lessons ended, you would find him in the gym, keeping in shape. 

He barely went straight to your dorm after school, so you had learned to get comfortable during your alone time. From using your living room for studying and making a mess with your papers and study books all over the floor, which he would have usually pointed out and told you to keep a system, to walking around the apartment with just your underwear.

So it wasn’t unusual when you sat on the couch in your living room in just panties and an oversized shirt you found at the bottom of your closet while cleaning up last week. You were surprised when you found it, confident you’ve never bought nor worn that shirt. But as you put it on, pushing your thoughts aside as there was no possible way of it being someone else’s if it was in your closet, you realized it was more comfortable than the garments you knew you owned. 

You have gone over the math formula hundreds of times and still feel like you see it for the first time every time your eyes land on it again. It doesn’t make sense. No matter how long you stare at it, the numbers and signs seem foreign. 

You sigh, slamming the math book shut and spreading out on the couch as a sign of giving up. You would have to ask Taehyun about it after dinner. But for now, you had other things on your to-do list for the day. 

Put your and Taehyun’s clothes into the washing machine (AND THANK HIM FOR DOING IT LAST TIME!!) 

Wash up 

Learn math 

Call your mom

You mentally cross out math, pretending it never existed. Still, you know you will have to come back to it. To this day, you weren’t sure why you decided to take another math semester when you didn’t have to. You were naive when you listened to your parents and signed up for “the only important class you will need in the future.” You had to scoff every time now when you remembered your mother’s words, knowing you wouldn’t ever need the formulas you were learning. 

Sighing, you get up from the couch and look around the living room. Looking at it now, you understand why Taehyun always wants you to have your work organized. It was a mess. 

Your fingers run through your hair before you pick up a few of your books and put them aside in the corner of the table so that other people can still use it. It also reminds you that you should clean around the house with Taehyun soon. 

But for now, there was the current to-do list you had to go through. 

You grab Taehyun’s clothes basket from his room, as you did many times before, kicking the door behind you so it would close before continuing towards your shared bathroom. 

Having a shared bathroom might have been the only disadvantage of living with Taehyun. You both tried to search for a bigger place so you could each get your own, but once you saw the prices, you both decided it was only a petite inconvenience. 

It doesn’t take you long to sort out all of his and your clothes by colors, leaving Tae’s underwear in the basket for him to do later on his own. You don't mind doing his laundry, just like he doesn't mind doing yours, but there are still limits to what you are willing to do for him. Even though those lines sometimes seem blurry in your eyes.

You aren't sure when or how it happened, but lately, you've found yourself wanting to step over some of the lines you had set for yourself when you first decided to room with Taehyun.

Maybe it was because of how comfortable you got with each other after half a year of living together. Perhaps it was because Tae had become your best friend over the years you knew him. Or, more likely, it was actually because of the amount of times you had seen him shirtless.

“We are friends, Ma. You don’t have to worry about me getting pregnant or something just because I am rooming with a guy. And you have met him many times. You know how Tae is.” You remember the call you had with your mom after you moved in, rethinking all your words. You were so sure back then that nothing could ever happen between the two of you, but a small part of you always wished for something else. 

You snap out of your thoughts, pressing the start button on your washing machine with a sigh. You step over the pile of white clothing you had prepared for the next wash, getting to the shower. You pull down your panties and shirt, hanging them on the empty peg beside your towel. 

♡⸝⸝ 

Taehyun was too exhausted to go to the gym tonight. He had enough. From missing lunch because he lost track of time while reviewing for his upcoming exam to completely forgetting about an assignment due last night. He just wanted to go home and relax for a bit before he would have to fall into the endless circle of studying again. 

So when he got through the door of your shared apartment, his first thought was to shower and go to sleep. He didn’t think much of what you were doing as he took down his shoes. Honestly, that was what he was the least worried about. 

Taehyun shakes his head as his eyes land on your books on the table, but then a smile creeps up his lips. You did listen when he scolded you about making a mess, after all. 

He looks around the apartment, trying to find you with his eyes. Eventually, his sight lands on your room, assuming you didn’t hear him coming in and were busy with your studies, so you didn’t come out to greet him. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

He doesn’t even properly register the sound of the washing machine as he walks toward the bathroom. For the first time in a while, his mind is finally blank, making him relax as he opens the door. 

Neither of you really realizes what’s going on until you drop down your shampoo, your eyes wide as you quickly try to cover your naked body upon noticing your roommate in the room. 

Taehyun’s cheeks could be mistaken for a tomato as his eyes travel from the bottom of your body to your face, swallowing everything he wants to say before even opening his mouth, stuttering. “I– shit, fuck– uhm, sorry,” he blurts out quickly, turning around so he wouldn’t face you. He doesn’t leave, though. 

 You can’t hear your own breath, nor his, as you stare at his back, your mind, unlike Tae’s, clouded with thoughts. “I wanted to shower. I’m– I didn’t know you were in here,” he says, you think. You’re unsure if any of the words actually reach your ears or if it’s all just in your head. Maybe he is just a figment of your imagination, too. He isn’t real. He isn’t standing in the bathroom with his back turned to you. 

“I’ve been so out of it today I just– I’m not sure what I am saying, to be honest. I didn’t mean to, though–” 

You cut him off, your words echoing in his ears. Still, he doesn’t believe what he just heard. “What?” He asks, his boba eyes making you feel weak in the knees as he turns around to face you again. “You wanted to shower and relax your mind, right?” You repeat half your question, your hands slowly falling to your sides. Taehyun bites his bottom lip, fighting all his inner demons to keep his eyes on yours. “Want to join me then?” 

You’re not sure what happens next. It’s all blurry in your mind. But the next thing you know, Taehyun’s hands are all over your body, “helping you to wash up,” as he said, but you both know that’s not what it really is when his hand just so innocently squeezes your breast. 

Your breath shakes as you feel him groan against your shoulder, sending shivers through your body. You tilt your head to the side, biting your bottom lip to prevent a moan from escaping your lips as he kisses your collarbone, his cold fingers playing with your nipples as if he had touched them thousands of times before, as if he wasn’t afraid at all of the sudden intimacy. 

“Tae,” you breathe out, and he only hums in response, his lips on your neck. “Are you okay with this?” He asks carefully, making it almost impossible for you to tell him no. So you nod, whining when his fingers trace down from your chest to your legs, making their way to your clit. “You’re so wet,” he mumbles. 

“S-shut up,” your voice shakes as you try to grind against his fingers, muffling your moan when he removes his hand. Your pussy clenches around nothing when your name leaves his lips, his kisses moving lower on your back until you hear him kneel behind you. You swallow a lump in your throat when his hands wrap around your thighs, the water drops on your back sending shivers through your body. “Mind bending over for me, sweetheart?” 

It feels unreal. Your roommate’s head between your legs, eating you out as if you were supposed to be tonight’s dinner, was all a little too much. You weren’t sure how long you could last. “Wait– I’m–” you try to speak up but end up swallowing everything you wanted to say when his tongue gets replaced by his fingers. You gasp, your hand slowly sliding down on the bathroom tiles as you begin to lose strength. You don’t think he notices, or at least he doesn’t do anything about it. His fingers pump into you so effortlessly, too. Somehow, it feels like he has been in your cunt many times before. 

Your first orgasm of the night is on Taehyun’s fingers, preparing you for himself. “Doing so well,” he coos, slowly standing up. It takes no time for his lips to find your neck again, his thumb rubbing slow circles on your clit. “‘S too much,” you whine, turning your head around to see him. His boba eyes are soft, full of love even, you’d dare to say. 

“You’re so pretty,” he breathes out when his eyes land on yours, immediately kissing you. You fall into the kiss, turning around to face him. Taehyun takes a step forward, making you press your back against the wet tiles. The water dripping between the two of you doesn’t seem to bother him a bit as he wraps your leg around his waist. 

You are still kissing him when he aligns himself at your entrance, thrusting into you without a warning. You gasp, breaking the kiss. His lips chase after yours again, but you’re too busy trying to get used to him to kiss him back. “So good,” he praises you again, his mouth moving to your jaw and chin. You tilt your head to the side, trying to keep as quiet as possible as he thrusts into you again, starting slowly, with his eyes on yours to make sure you are okay. 

You nod to him instinctively, and he thrusts into you right away, this time faster, harsher. It doesn’t take long for him to set a comfortable speed, and you can feel all his stress in each thrust. “I needed this,” he mumbles. “Needed you.” 

It almost passes unnoticed by you, just some out-of-mind praises, but you catch onto it, and his words get stuck in your head. “N–Needed me?” Your question comes out as a broken moan, making him groan. “The whole day,” he agrees, only thrusting harder. “Everyone’s been getting on my nerves,” he explains. “Couldn’t wait to come home to you.” 

The ticklish feeling in your stomach makes you uneasy. You’re not sure if it’s another orgasm building up or just an after-effect of his words. Honestly, it might be both. But before you can think about it properly, another thrust comes in, with a few mumbles about how perfect you are before you feel his speed slowing down again, letting you know he is reaching his limit, too. 

It only takes a few more sloppy thrusts before he cums inside you, both of you too into the moment to realize he should pull out. Taehyun’s head falls onto your shoulder, but he doesn’t stop holding your leg up, assuring himself he still feels you on his body. “I’ve been waiting for this,” he breathes out, and before you can answer, you feel his teeth digging into the skin on your shoulder. 

You gasp, “What was that for?” He only hums in response, as if he had no idea what you were referring to. “A mark,” he finally mutters, making your eyes widen. “Wanted to mark you.” He says it so casually, while his hand slides between your bodies, circling your clit slowly again. You swallow a moan as his finger makes its way into your pussy again, feeling the mixture of his and your cum sliding down your thigh. You need another shower. 

You stay still for a bit, his head resting on your shoulder and your leg wrapped around his waist while your fingers play with his hair to assure him you are still there, not saying anything. 

You step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around yourself immediately. You keep your eyes on his naked body, rethinking your next moves. “I need your help with math,” you proclaim quietly like you normally would. “I’ll gladly help you,” he nods with a smile. So happy, and for what? He was never rude about it when you asked for his help, but it wasn’t like he would be excited, either. This time, however, he makes you question what’s going on in his mind. 

“Here,” he says, the same smile still on his lips as he hands you your shirt and panties. “I didn’t know you were already wearing my stuff, but I can’t say I would complain,” he teases you, and it all finally clicks. Of course, that’s why you didn’t remember owning the shirt. It wasn’t yours in the first place. “Uhm–” you panic, trying to find a good excuse, but it’s already too late because all Taehyun can think about is the adorable blush on your cheeks.

TXT ⋆✶ izzy's tags @beomiracles @seoulzie @adel222 @inkigayocamman @flowzel @love-be0m @virgo-and-libra @hwanghyunjinismybae @liaatiny @minaateez ✶⋆

Want to get notified? Join taglist here !

[yanderespamton78]

sometimes i feel like toby fox made spamton and the addisons especially for people to hyperfixate on. everything about them seems so perfect for people to go rabid about its insane to me

for one, spamton himself pretty much counts for 4 people, those being addispam, big shot spamton, in game spamton, and spamton neo. now sure you mostly see people going rabid about in game spamton but ive seen plenty of people who are obsessed with a version we dont get to see on screen

secondly, even the main in game spamton himself is kinda up to interpretation. loads of people characterise him differently. if i compared two aus to eachother theyd often be very different and depending on the ones i chose could be almost like 2 different people, and then if i compared those to in-game spamton, theyd still be very different. also since you dont see addispam and big shot spamton on screen you dont even know what they acted like so again basically you can make your own guy to fixate on with a few prompts as to what he was like

dont even get me started on the addisons. now im biased as fuck here seeing that ive been fixated on the addisons for like 6 months now (send help) but toby fox basically gave us 4 templates for us to have fun with. sure based off of in game dialogue you have a bit to go off of when it comes to their personality (pink being an asshole and blue being caring for example) but even then every addison in every different au is slightly different and i have never seen two addisons turn out exactly the same. ALSO you dont even know the relationship these characters have to spamton meaning you can have them be siblings, you can have them be friends, or you can ship them based off of what you enjoy. OR you could just ignore them altogether (which a lot of people do lmao)

also another thing is the fact that you dont necessarily need to have your addisons' personalities just reflect off of spamtons. I mean the main 4 addisons give you enough to go off of to make your own, and you are given cyber city, an entire fantasy world for you to put them in. cyber city again is up to interpretation, some people have it be like a normal city, some people make it a utopia, some people make it a hellscape. the choice is yours!!

and even then in game spamton is so versatile. he is perfect for angsty stuff, fluffy stuff, or jsut silly stuff, and none of it is out of character. you couldnt really make an angsty spongebob edit could you, itd be weird and out of characer and no one would take it seriously. but also you couldnt make a silly walten files video, sure people do but its out of character and wouldnt actually happen canonically. but spamton on the other hand. hes the kinda guy who you can draw holding a wallet in his mouth like a cat and generally being silly but also you could draw him sobbing at the bottom of dumpster and neither would be out of character!! AAAA

also extra thing i thought id add but his backstory is also very up to interpretation, like i dont think ive ever seen two people who think spamtons rise and downfall went exactly the same. sure everyone has the same general idea of how it went but some people believe in acid theory, some people believe in puppetification theory, some people have a mix of both, some people have their own idea of how it went down, and with that you can project different parts of your own trauma onto whatever happened to him.

ok sorry that was so long thank you for reading my very biased ramble about why spamton is perfect byeeee

[king-crawler]

HEY HI HELLO

Sorry for the random message here In the asks, it's ok if you don't see this or answer it since you probably got a lot already and I understand if you don't see this!/gen

But first of all, I just wanna say

I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT WATCHED YOUR ANALYSIS VIDEO SOONER IM SO FUCKING LATE MAN

It's so well done and so fucking funny, I was literally smiling and cackling through the whole thing, it's shocking how similar our humor is

NOT TO MENTION THE END SCENE AREE YOU KIDDING HOW DID YOU MATCH THE LYRICS SO PERFECTLY TO THE FUCKING LORE ITS INCREDIBLE 😭💜/GEN, POS

It's insane how much dedication is put into it, let alone singlehandedly feeding turbo fans as myself

Genuinely thought it's so nice seeing more content for a hyperfixation I've had since 2012, and the fandom coming back along with this video Genuinely brings me so much joy as someone who's loved this movie since I was a kid

Sorry for the ramble but genuinely thank you for making that video, I can't wait to see what other stuff you do, wreck it ralph or not I WILL be tuning in/gen, pos

Okay second of all

The main reason why I'm sending this is because of sometning I noticed while rewatching a scene in the movie

Now, this might be me over analyzing as I usually do but it feels TOO. OBVIOUS.

SO

IN the kart bakery scene where vanellope and ralph go to bake a kart, they obviously make their way into the building and into the main room

You see all the Karts of course, and It pans to the one vanellope chooses

Which, at first glance you wouldn't really pay too much attention, especially when watching it for the first time, she's just picking the model she likes

..but looking back at the scene

Vanellope's kart model, how it was supposed to look, looks very

Familiar

Because the kart she chose..

...is a red and white kart

With stripes down the middle, with a very similar shape to a..certain persons kart. Now this might just be nothing, it's probably just like I said, and over analysis on my part

But the kart the chose looks WAY too similar to turbo's, not to mention the stripe is down the middle, just like turbo's car on the cabinet art of him

And vanellope could've chosen ANY kart

But it was that specific kart she chose, out of any of the karts

Not to mention in some of vanellope's concept art...

(Art made by Lorelay Bove)

..Vanellope's concept design and turbos designs strike SCARILY uncanny resemblances to each others designs

From the helmet and colors

All the way down to her GOGGLES having the SAME. YELLOW. TINT. that candy's have in the movie, which have the same effect here. There's no way that this didn't have the intent to mirror turbo purposefully

So with that in mind, the kart vanellope chose in the kart bakery scene being turbo foreshadowing, wouldn't be too out of place, nor would it be too far off

Turbo's foreshadowing was always prominent, even in the smallest details you wouldn't focus on, just like he's infecting this world as a virus, little by little, everywhere. You. Turn.

Aaaand that's basically all I have to really say

Sorry for the long ramble, I've been thinking of submitting this for awhile now, especially after I told a friend about this and they mentioned that this should be submitted to you

So I decided to go ahead and just do it, no matter how wild my comparisons might sound-

Anyways, I hope you have a good day, night, or what time it may be, and keep being awesome! I can't wait to hear back if you see this! Bye-bye! ❤️🏎🏆

P.s

I've been quoting these since I watched the video and haven't stopped

Thanks for destroying my humor even more-/pos

Okay bye bye now-

-skitters away-

NO YOU'RE SO FUCKING RIGHT OH MY GOD VANELLOPE WAS ALWAYS A TURBO PARALLEL??? CHAT IS THIS TRUE. IVE NEVER SEEN THAT CONCEPT ART OF HER TEEHEE THANKS FOR SHARING

also God. This is 99% just a coincidence with zero merit because its such a common gesture- but Ralph and Vanellope doing their thumbs up.. maybe Turbo parallels ?? and like the EXACT same poses too:

Vanellope having one hand on the steering wheel and the other doing a thumbs up while facing the camera.

Ralph hunched over doing the double thumbs up with the visor tinting his face yellow. EXCUSE ME HMMM?? WHAT THE FUCK??

NOW COULD I BE CHERRY PICKING? PERHAPS. but when Turbo has barely a minute of screentime, there's not a lot i can pick from, and things SURE ARE LINING UP... (I'm cherry picking)

SO SHHHHHH... ❤️❤️❤️❤️ LET ME HAVE MY LITTLE CONSPIRASCY

[wyrmswears]

ok actually being fr rn

i have had a really good time hanging out in the ninjago community here on tumblr (this makes it sound like its a goodbye its NOT its just an appreciation post).

the fandom here is definitely smaller than the previous fandoms ive hung out in on tumblr and that honestly really works to its benefit. i recognise familiar blogs in the tags all the time and have gotten to recognising a lot of people who frequently reblog my posts or send me asks and thats a really nice feeling of community!! ive gotten a couple dms from people and its been super fun to actually talk to people in the fandom (notably raine my first friend in the fandom. as much as im sure we all collectively hate his guts (/j ofc), im pretty sure theyre always reaching out to people because how do you know Everyone, my guy. and thats honestly really cool to see).

ive gotten a couple pieces of fanart which feels?? insane?? people have looked at the things i created and have felt inspired to create in return. what the heck!! and thats smth that i want to put back into the community. though i havent always got the time and energy to, ive been taking notes of designs and aus i see that i want to draw and my requests are literally almost always open (though rn i do have a backlog lololol ill get to it).

i dont really have a conclusion to this ig i just wanted to say its cool being excited about this lego show with you guys 👍 dm people and send asks and puts notes in the tags if you can because i think those fandom interactions go far in making the fandom a fun place to be in, at least for me :P

[urfavisapermaregressor]

Hi !! Just a few questions as someone who's suspecting that they're a permaregressor.

1. How'd you figure out you were one?

2. when/how old bodily were you when you did?

3. Is there a limit on body age and believing you're a permaregressor?

4. Would it be okay for someone to believe they're a permaregressor, but find out in future that they weren't? (Just incase)

I send my thanks in advance, and hope this ask finds you well

1. well i think for someone to find out they are a permaregressor you would just need to know/identify with the term. i know for me personally ever since i turned 15/16 i just felt stuck at that age mentally, and even when i was younger than that my parents and some teachers would say i was immature for my age and it really messed with me because i did nothing but be myself yet all these people looked down on me for being "immature" for seemingly no reason.

i have never been interested in typical things people my age should have been interested in. when i was a kid i hated live action shows and just wanted to watch cartoons. when i was 13 all my friends were just obsessed with boys and loved drama but i just wanted to listen to musicals and watch anime lol. they thought i was crazyyyy

and even to this day, it's the same. i feel so insanely disconnected from my peers and ive described it as "i feel like i missed a class on how to grow up. everybody else attended." i also have just been stunted mentally due to trauma and abuse as well, so that's a factor too.

but i found the term permaregression last year while looking for discussion of a fictional character. the character is a canon age regressor and i was shocked to see nobody talking about it. she is regressed due to trauma and sadly, her trauma was used as a joke in her source. but it said she was "permanently regressed to 2 years old" after she expierence something traumatic.

she even has a whole story arc where she regresses to a 5-6 year old girl and cries when she is told she's actually 19 and i heavily related to it. so i looked her name up + agere to find literally nothing except one post saying she was a canon permaregressor. i had never heard of what a permaregressor was so i clicked the link to the original post and was like "oh wow this makes my life make a lot of sense actually" and the more i read the more i realized i was one. so that's how i realized i was a permaregressor.

prior to finding the term, i always felt like i was never fully not regressed if that makes sense. like i figured out that i regressed to ages 4-9 but when i wasn't regressed i still felt like i was regressed. and when i found out about permare it made everything make sense.

kind of a silly story but lmao

2. i was 18

3. i mean i don't think so, i wouldn't tell someone they aren't a permaregressor just based off their age because it can happen at any age

4. yes, i used to think i was bi but the whole time i was actually a lesbian. labels are allowed to change and they're allowed to be wrong, it's okay if that's the case. you don't know what you don't know.

you can identify with permaregression, its terms, and the struggles of being one and not be a permaregressor. i've seen some people also use the term permakid or just identify with agere but not permaregression. it just depends on the person

i hope i could help!

[neptunesailing]

PING JUMPSCARE anyway your art is amazing i love your new hiiai piece please talk about the design more if you want, i love hearing people yap about their design elements and the process to get to the final idea. (also, i really like ghosty sorta things and this certainly feels pretty ethereal! did you have a story idea behind it that perhaps i caught upon?)

HII THANK YOUUU!!!!! IM GRINNING LIKE A MANIAC RN DONT MIND MEEE teehee but YEYSSYEYSEYSEYYSE tysm for asking abotu the designnnn augh i loooove designing things its so fun to me!!! putting this under a cut because WOW i went crazy

i had a Vision for this design it was (as i put it to a friend) a "drowned love-struck sailor but also a guy that seems like he Lives at the beach but he's so ethereal you SWEAR he's a mermaid or something". like sirens and sailors but more emphasis on the sailor part

here's my moodboard/reference board!! i knew i wanted puffy sleeves and super flowy fabric but i wasn't sure what Else to add so i went to pinterest (of course) and saw like the fishnets and the pearls and ya i went insane. i didnt end up adding any pearls or as many ruffles in the final design but i think the whole beach/ocean aesthetic got across pretty well!!

for colors: the only thing i had in my head was WHITE FLOWY SHIRT because i love drawing them and it just Fits the vibe i was going for. the blue gradient on the sleeves makes me think of drowning? like being in the ocean for so long that blue is just a Part of you now even though that doesn't really happen its the VIBE of it okay. being engulfed by blue being engulfed by the sea nd you're drowning..... aughh. also the collar is a type of scallop collar because i wanted it to be different from a normal white button-up okay. a lot of my design process is Is This Cool and How Can This Be "Functional" (either in design [adding color or shape] or use [actual function])

there's also the long sash for more color and more flowy action!! and those pants are also supposed to be loose and flowy you just. dont see them in the final piece lol.

another thing about the colors: i tried to contrast from the blues i was putting in the sleeves and the sash with the warm browns that you can see in the net shirt and the ribbons on the sleeves and the net-like accessory on the left leg and the addition of nets Really adds to the whole theme that Deep Into You has going on of being "drawn in to the point of drowning" and the whole sailor thing too

couple notes: the net shirt would be like a tank top and i originally was thinking of having sandals for the shoe choice instead of what i have now and honestly now that im thinking about it again sandals Would be cool. but for an enstars outfit that they have to dance in? those shoes are fine actually

about the jewelry: i added the star clip a little late but it's supposed to act as a larger version of a tie clip? or like a brooch but with More stuff on it. also YES the earrings are mussel shells (i didn't know it was a mussel shell when i drew it i was referencing just a shell i had on hand) but aughh like mussel shells have so many pretty colors in them theyre like iridescent and i wasn't able to put that much detail in them at such a scale which is sad but its ok i think it still turned out really beautiful... i should draw shells more.

anyway thank you so much for sending this ask!! i dont really have much of a story behind this other than listening to the one minute clip we have of deep into you on loop for actual hours over the course of three(?) days but i might make a story.... ive been thinking about it... hope this is actually readable i wrote so much hahah but yes i am crazy and i love yapping about my design process and choices <3

[mr-payjay]

You want to talk about doomed payjay sooo badly. I went on a huge rant about it yesterday and im curious to see what you think about it (also thank you for causing the payjay nickel incident that killed me)

YOU BET I DO!!! also im glad my superchat affected so many payjay fans, i find the result of it quite amusing

my favourite kind of doomed payjay is when their mental illnesses intersect... it's also fun to exaggerate them. ive found a lot of people like delusionally jealous oj? whenever i bring it up people get excited. to clarify, it's. pretty much just yanderizing oj LOL! here's some of the issues that can occur with delusional jealousy (disclaimer: i don't believe oj would ever do these. this is just a way i like to explore his character and push his jealousy and possessiveness to extremes for fun! at the very most, oj would fantasize about this, but he'd try to push the thoughts of it away because he'd think it makes him a bad person.)

ive been wanting to draw some of this for funsiessss. make that man go crazy bonkers insane like im monika ddlc turning up The Yandere Dial on yuri

another thing that's fun to explore is paper's need for attention!! my friend is better at explaining and detecting paper's hpd than i am, but i still notice some symptoms and scenarios myself: paper making a big deal about getting possibly eliminated while sitting on the bench, paper dramatically telling oj to go on without him then getting upset when he Does That, paper socializing quite a bit and generally being pretty extroverted, etc. and that can be. fun to think about! mind you i think more about oj's npd and bpd but i, of course, love paper a lot too. my friend suggested this, but paper feeding into oj's obsession (paper is oj's fp to be clear, umm i can give proof if someone wants?) to get attention & fucking things up just so he has to fix it and help him and Observe him is fun to consider. there's also the fact paper is bullied and shunned pretty often both in ii1 (remember apple) and in the hotel (they canonically just. destroy things. and paper has to fix them), and he's often not given attention other than to be useful... which kinda explains paper's eagerness to help in canon! id say it started off with paper trying to help people a lot in ii1, then they got used to it and started to assume he'd help all the time in the hotel, which he just went with because it's The Only Time they give him attention. also is why he canonically likes to cook :) he loves the reception it gets!

i like divorced payjay, but i don't think it would happen realistically. they're together for life. it definitely gets hard sometimes (they're both Suffering in general) but they're never ever Ever going to give up on each other. and that's beautifullll ahh my little Worms

um. i just realized i rambled more about their respective mental illnesses than doomed payjay LOL welllll it causes problems in their relationship ok

if you want you can send me an ask rambling about doomed payjay... id love to see what you were ranting about yesterday!

[clonehigh-takes]

sorry gotta send another fandom take

after reading a post on someone’s blog, i truly realized how insane tophabe is. first of all, everyone used to hate abe’s guts in 2020 for the whole cleo and joan thing back in season 1, which was justified. now the 2023 fandom has snapped around and loves abe, which i can see since season 2 is less focused on abe’s selfishness and denseness and instead decides to torture him so the viewers feel bad. this really makes me wonder how many people hated abe during season 1 and now love him in season 2. personally i didnt really hate season 1 abe (i still think the joan and cleo thing was shitty) but i do like abe more after season 2. i think its mostly because of the abe torture and partly because since all the hate is off abe, its finally cool to make and say positive stuff about him

moving onto topher, im not surprised hes popular. even i like him quite a bit (not as much as a lot of other characters though). chronically online short white boy who claims to be straight, his only friend is a boy who he manipulates and blackmails while claiming he has a crush on a girl, said crush having no evidence to prove it unless you squint, and canonically goes to therapy. yeah hes basically van gogh 2.0 where everyone projects onto him and gives him angst that just barely feels in line with the show. i dont hate topher but god damn the fandom really loves him. i made a whole post saying why i think hes so popular but long story short it was most likely because he had gained a fanbase while the show was dropping episodes weekly, and by the time episode 8 came along mostly everyone was too far deep to drop out of liking topher. part of me feels like this may have also happened to abe in season 1 if everyone didnt binge it instead of watching it weekly lmao

and then there’s tophabe itself. tons of fanart and fanfiction, definitely the most popular ship in the fandom atm, even more so than the canon lesbian couple from what ive seen. ive read a bit of tophabe fanfiction since its basically all thats on ao3 at this time, and i find it so interesting that a lot of it have the events of chapter 8 happen. those events have been the most despicable things topher has done, possibly the worst of anyone in the whole show. and many people tend to brush it off, use it as a way to show topher’s supposed crush on abe. what topher did is messed up, and people barely even acknowledge it. whats unfortunate is i can see why, even i dont normally think about how awful topher actually is whenever i think about him. the show itself basically brushed it off in episode 10, something i feel like they definitely shouldnt have done. the oversaturation of tophabe in the fandom also definitely helped wave off topher’s actions

sorry this kinda turned into a rant about topher, so i wont go any further with that. but i find it extremely interesting to see how the fandom has changed from 2020. gone from hating abe for being an indecisive teenager to using topher’s blackmailing attempt as a plot device in their tophabe fanfiction. absolutely astonishing.

okay what in the fucking bible did you just shit into my inbox

[snufflepup]

Hm, they sound interesting. I've never heard of them before lol, like when you talked about tablet ice-cream. That of which I actually haven't tried yet cause my mom won't take me to the store :P. Oof, maybe if I can ever come to the UK and we can meet up, then that could be a thing we can do together^^. I enjoyed it a good bit for something live action, and I remember finding a good couple of the guys hot lol. What's your favorite studio ghibli movie? Mines always been spirited away and totoro. Though I liked ponyo a lot too. I've only seen the more popular movies from them, but I wanna watch the other movies too really badly. That actually makes sense lol, I've never heard it said like that, but I understand how the whole power of friendship thing is actually practical in the anime now. Lol thats cute. Who was your favorite character when you watched it? I allways liked bakugou and toga. I love yanderes in different media, and shes just so cute!^^ i used to have space buns like her in 6th grade before i realized they didnt make my roundish face look good. Then i cut my hair pretty short, so i cant do it now lol. Now i go for more of the denki kinda haircut but a little wavy cause thats my hair type. Yeah! Aqua is a water goddess that he uses his last dying wish to bring down to the new magical world with him out of spite lol. Then he meets darkness (masochist yellow girl) and some magical little girl I forgot the name of but her main color is red. I like how his group is basically primary colors and he's green lol. Im actually not that into issekai anime, more so psychological or mystery ones such as tomodachi game and bungou stray dogs. Im embarrased now- im sorry i misunderstood. My little lesbian friend doesnt cuss so i just assumed you were like that too cause i mean idk if ive seen you cuss lol. m glad your day has been alright, apart from that I mean. I understand lol. I get had hearing days a lot cause of how often I have in earbuds and just get hearing fatigue. I swear a ton too lol, though guess that's mostly due to my smoldering southern charm (ゝω・) /j. But my probably most used cuss word is fuck. Or bitch, though I use that more as a word of endearment, like you're my bitch. Though you'd be a guy puppy so I can't really say that :P. Is there a name for guy puppies like there is for girls? Idk any lol. Glad you're excited about more ft content^^ what is it? More chapters to the Manga or a new season to the anime or something? I hate when my asks don't send >:(. How's your day been? I got a school band performance to get ready for tonight. (Maybe the third times a charm)

-Ike<3

Yes !! that sounds good ! (　＾▽＾) I haven't watched any of them in a while, so I'm not sure what mine would be !! I think probably Ponyo, I rewatched it so much when I was younger ! I'd like to watch all of them again really ! It can understand why people still wouldn't like it now, despite that, but nobody ever used to mention it so it used to make me feel a little . insane . I found it hard to decide on a set favourite, but, I think they were deku and uraraka !! I also really liked denki and todoroki a lot too !! aaaa the more I think about the less certain I am of who my favourites are . I love love love toga and bakugo too !!!! I don't actually think I've ever had my hair in space buns, now that I'm thinking of it. . . but I bet little you probably looked super cute ! Your current hair style sounds really nice, too ! I play as the my hero characters a lot when I play fortnite though ! I think it's a little funny to see them do all the dances and stuff fjdhkdkf ooo ! That sounds really cool ! I see I see ! Those ones are pretty cool too, I just whatever ones catch my attention to be honest !!! Don't apologise !! I understand ! I didn't mean it in bad way ^–^ That's fair ! I don't really do it all the time on here because I just . haven't but I've been told by people that they associate swearing with me lol ( and spelling things really badly . ) I'm not really sure why I get it, my guess is that it's probably the same as you, then because I wore earphones like all the time until receently. . . but now I just wear over the head-headphones ! A lot of people where I am swear a lot too, I feel like it is pretty rare to find someone that doesn't swear all the time ! I used to know people that did the same !! I don't really mind it, to be honest, so you could if you wanted ! ^–^ and not really, I think ! Maybe mutt ? It can be used for both, but a lot of people use it on boy ones so ? but it's not really used in the same way bitch is used ! Yes !!! So, currently, whats being worked on is Fairy Tail 100 year quest but he said once that's done he's going to continue Fairy Tail so I'm really really excited !!! I need to catch up with the 100 year quest anime as well, though ! Sorry this took so long . I . don't really have the words to explain but ! Have you been well ? Did your performance go alright ?

[microwavedlion]

guess whooooo ! 🎤🐍

my favorite part of the experience (not really a specific part of tit so not a spoiler for anyone that sees this) was that it just made it so clear how much they love us and each other and it warms my heart that the phandom has come this far and it truly feels like a phamily :))

im sorry to hear about your scholarship ! hopefully you can get it back, and i hope with all of my heart that you can get any resources you need to do whats right for you. im actually taking this semester off doing online courses at a community college in my hometown, but next semester i'll go back to my university and try to pick up where i left off. school isn't for everyone, i'm coming to learn, but unfortunately it feels required 😫

i only started listening to muse maybe 2 months ago at most and they've quickly racked up minutes on my spotify. i wouldn't be surprised if they came out at number 1 despite the odds. i cant believe ive gone like 8 years in the phandom without giving a proper listen to them, besides uprising. i suppose the current fixation is the best i can do to make up for lost time 💪

chinese is so cool omg. ive never tried learning it but from my understanding it's rather complicated. i understand spanish as i grew up with it and with that means mildly understanding other latin based languages, like french. speaking, grammar, conjugation and the like are a different story tho, so hopefully one day i'll lock in and level up my skills and be able to actually say i'm fluent in spanish

i was gonna write something in french but i've quickly realized i know like actually nothing... if i read a meme in french i could probably get it but i have no vocabulary so cheval fromage oui oui baguette i guess 🥖

i am totally a serial killer and im outside your house ready to practice signing with you 🤺

for reasons undisclosed i do think you're onto me 😅 while i'm enjoying the pen-pal-snail-mail we've got going, i'll maybeeeee send a dm soon if i can stop being insane. i haven't talked to new people or made online friends in a really long time and for some reason a part of me feels like i'll be shot on sight for the crime of being mildly annoying lmao

throwing breadcrumbs at your window,

-🐍

that was definitely my favourite part of tit too. i love how much they love us, and that they're no longer afraid to love eachother out loud. it felt so special, like a little secret and a huge family gathering at the same time. i get emotional if i think about how much growth this required. i also got to meet one mutual (hi manda if you're reading this), so that was pretty fun too.

don't worry about my scholarship, thankfully it doesn't make or break uni for me. honestly, i feel like i do have access to the resources i need to be successful i just... can't? i'm too stuck in my head with some things that i don't think i should share publicly. but it makes it really hard to gather the focus or motivation to do any of my work. i'm pretty much staring at my very very manageable pile of things to do and going "fuck, let me think about something i don't even enjoy thinking about instead!" yeah, not very effective. i get what you mean, school really does feel like a necessity. and it feels like a waste to quit it when i've already invested money and time into it. i hope your time with online school has been good to you, i wouldn't mind moving entirely online myself, but i don't really want to move back in with my parents. hopefully things are looking up for you.

i like muse a lot, at least the handful of songs that i've listened to. i think they make excellent use of lyrical and musical tension and are overall just stellar artists. animals reminds me of "the execution of all things" by rilo kiley. not really sure why, but i wonder if you can get what i mean by listening.

it can be complicated, things like the order of strokes you write with matter, so does the exact look of the character, same with small tonal changes per sound that don't exist in english (because it isn't a tonal language). all of that can completely change the meaning of a phrase both in written and spoken chinese, which can be complicated to get a grasp of, especially if you haven't grown up around languages formatted in that way. but an important thing to keep in mind in linguistics is that all languages are equally complex and equally capable of communicating the ideas they need to communicate. i did spend a year learning spanish, but i honestly forgot i did that until my mom reminded me of it. i could probably say 10 words, total, and that's just based on guesses from my knowledge of french. i think you could definitely become fluent in spanish, though. a lot of people have the misconception that language can't be competently acquired past a certain age, but it's really a matter of native-like fluency & acquisition being easier prior to that age. you probably won't be able to speak like a native, but who cares, language is fun and an important bridge between people. you sound like dan in pinof 1 haha. don't serial kill me!

hah, i'm assuming my guess is definitely right then. but i can't lie, i honestly enjoy this snail-mail thing too. it's fun, and i like not having to respond instantly (now i have extra time to panic, score!) the only thing is i'm a little embarrassed that my other followers can read this haha. (hi guys). 😅 but don't worry, you can take all the time you need to get comfortable. i'm not in a rush, i'll be here hunched over my computer until the worms consume my flesh. if you can figure out a way to send snail mail that's a little less public, i'm totally open to ideas. oh and don't stress about annoying me, i really do prefer people who are stereotypically "annoying". i'm pretty bad at keeping up with friendships, i tend to not know when to respond and be pretty dry, which ends up with a lot of my relationships lasting 6 months or less, which is honestly kind of depressing. if i ever do make things awkward or haven't mailed in forever, you're always free to come poke me with a stick.

anyway, sorry for the rambles. politely setting up a heating pad for you

[nevarroes]

i refuse to send these thoughts separately:

who would cas main in league, he wouldnt play isnt an answer the mans gender is at least 25% calling people slurs on mic

okay but what if what if um 🥺👉👈 someone wanted to write a thing but they were super anxious about getting cas’s voice right in part because by the nature of how you share your creative concepts the only solid vibe they get is Doesnt Talk A Lot, When He Does Its 90% Weird Rude Mean Shit, hence the cesare big top burger comparison

and fuckin um i forget if ive ever asked, i mostly process cas’s fuckedupedness through a lens of npd, but am more familar with bpd because my own brain garbage is a bit of both and having had many loved ones with bpd, does cas ever fully freak the fuck out in an insecure attachment way trying to make gortash Go Away or trying to leave himself(but coming back generally), might characterize that Oh No Hes Going To Die leaves forever cant handle loss unless he “choses” it meltdown in a similar menthol eelnessTM vein

i especially love thinking about cas being extremely insecure because reality will never live up to his delusions of self importance perfection and grandeur because fun fact :^) a side affect of those thought patterns is constant disappointment in a reality of self that can never meet those expectations :^^^)

casim “i AM perfect or ill DIE” carnavorn

honestly "Doesnt Talk A Lot, When He Does Its 90% Weird Rude Mean Shit" is pretty on point here😭😭 I used to say like everyone desires him and then he opens his mouth and theyre like "hmmm yeah idk if this one's worth it chief". Like he has no filter at all but it isn't like he doesn't do it on purpose it's more like he goes out of his way to make sure everyone leaves in a worse mood than before, if that makes sense? Gortash would join in though honestly.... type of situation where Gortash tries to introduce them to some noble family on a party and Cas just drops that some poor girl looks like a fat cow (see this is funnier considering that he stands next to Gortash but ain't nobody gonna say that back) 🙏

aside from that though like.... in private? I suppose this may be more of a tone thing and I'm a VERY mid writer so I couldn't even tell you how I'd show this of the top of my head but I suppose he's more... clearly affectionately teasing? because yeah he obviously stays teasing and calls him a fat bastard in private still and such but it's very obvious if you look at them for a second that it's like a far cry from how he treats everyone else (smth smth his gaze very clearly softens and he allows himself to giggle and you can tell that they have been knowing each other for a long time)

okay sorry im YAPPING but ! ....If you want to write something I'd be over the fucking moon either way honestly like??😭 tbh I think you sound like you get him a lot already but also let me just say additionally... I see Cas as a character that's pretty flexible anyways because he erm... he has mood swings but also doesn't really have smth I'd consider a set speech pattern or something that he needs to sound in character?

anyways concerning the npd/bpd thing I never quite drew a line for him or anything to put him more into one camp but. I mean yeah based on the dying of old age scenario... LMFAOO but also yeah he does. Cas is the type of person that will literally leave the city for months or lock himself in and try to "become a new person" (he literally has moment where he's like "maybe I should just become who Bhaal wants me to be. maybe it would be easier") if there's some dispute with Gortash. It usually ends with Gortash forcing him to meet him again and Cas being something along the lines of "oh my fucking god can I just stop loving you already" but yeagh u know the fact that Gortash is kinda the only person he ever liked or even saw as a friend just makes it worse tbh

and the insecurities/delusions thing? yeah exactly what you said. a lot of his insecurities are insane too tbh like "I can never be what everyone desires" but then he loses it if he's NOT what someone desires, Gortash saying smth along the lines of "I like women too" would be enough to make him walk off a ledge because he can't be that part (smth smth I can be most perfect man on the planes but I'll never be a woman. funnier when u know he could use incubus illusion magic but he refused to his whole life). But anyways yeah as I said once Cas is like... a DEEPLY insecure person at his core even if he'd never admit or think that it shows

anyways after this analysis... Cas plays adc and shits on every support he plays with💯 He mains aphelios because he wants to look at a man but also because he thinks he's better than anyone else for playing a complex champ... hope u see my vison

[eulchu]

and it's so fucking crazy that some of you treat blogs as if we're ccs. we're held to insanely high standards and if you don't like what you see or if you think we're wrong some of you harass us for days and threaten us to come to our house to do awful fucking things to us. we're just fucking fans none of us want the attention. we just want to be part of a stupid fucking community.

i asked people to dial down the hate and the bait and every single time i don't post flowers and happiness it gets thrown back on my face because "and you were crying for people to stop being so negative🤓". that post came from a moment of horrible tension in the fandom where i was seeing my friends genuinely suffer over this. when people were getting awful horrible things about the dteam. now i can't even hold a light and meme-y conversation about things that piss me off (yes!!im human!! people piss me off all the fucking time)

we started a stupid camp server from the bottom of our fucking hearts because we truly see the good in the fandom. because we wanted to build a place where people would interact with the content and each other in a positive light. because we truly believed it was doable, we've seen the love in this fandom countless of times. the very first day that server launched there were already people rooting for it to fail.

i suggest a second book, for the dteam this time, because i know it wouldn't hurt the dteam to hear some nice things. because the first one was so meaninful to dream. because i know a lot of people were so fucking happy that they got confirmation that their words matter, and i wanted that to happen again. and my friend gets asks about how i shouldn't be in it when i promote SA threats.

do any of you have any idea how awful it fucking feels to have everything i do get thrown in my face every time i do something one of you doesn't like. do you think it's fucking fair at all. because i don't.

im a meme and an overreacter and a stupid fucking bitch sometimes but holy shit every time ive messed up with someone ive fixed it. i dont deserve to be picked apart like this. every single project ive ever participated in every single word of encouragement and positivity i have meant it one hundred percent. every single time the conversation has turned from fun to dooming ive cut it straight up. every single time there's been mass panic ive tried to keep it clean and be reasonable about it - i already have enough anxiety for all of us, i don't need more people to have a rough time.

and what i get in exchange? genuine horrors. if you think you're better than me by sending me asks and wanting to hurt my feelings,i have news for you. you're a horrible fucking person. cope

[septembersghost]

chronic illness flare has turned me into a soaking wet paper doll of a person, but i have tag games to catch up on and that's a fun distraction 😊💕

tagged by jenn my sweetie @castiel

show your lock screen, last celeb photo, and last song listened to

oh this is probably going to be embarrassing. okay so my most frequently used device unfortunately doesn't have a customizable lock screen. i am very lucky to have a secondary device i use quite often these days which was a gift from a friend who didn't need it anymore, and that one had a really pretty floral/lyric from the archer for ages, but now... (if i hadn't saved this picture of taylor and benji, the lock screen and photo would've been a neat display of matched insanity, could've hit a trifecta with the song too but fob swooped in at the last second.) anyway...

♥♥♥♥

tagged by (polk! salad!) dani @valkaryah: share my top 5 songs I've been listening to.

according to my current replay playlist, and without repeating artists, otherwise this would be very skewed, it's 1. any day now - elvis presley, 2. heartbreak feels so good - fall out boy, 3. all of the girls you loved before - taylor swift, 4. look at us now (honeycomb) - daisy jones and the six, 5. all my ghosts - lizzy mcalpine (the way lizzy has not left my rotation for a year!)

♥♥♥♥

tagged by darlings @thebohemianbelle and @waxandwanewitchery: when you get this, you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to

similar to the above, but different!!! if i snagged this from that weekly replay playlist, it would essentially be all of the same artists because my listening habits have been in a cycle of comfort lately, but i'll choose five that i do listen to a lot that are also in the list and weren't represented. 1. golden - harry styles, 2. say you love me - fleetwood mac, 3. just one of those things - frank sinatra, 4. supercut - lorde, 5. easy to love - ella fitzgerald

♥♥♥♥

tagged by @bloodmoonlits 😘 my top 4 current albums (the taste on yours, i love seeing recognition for holly!) mine are going to be so predictable here please send help. (i am making an executive decision to exclude taylor from this, but red tv and lover are actually battling it out for a top spot at the moment 💖)

♥♥♥♥

tagged by @headfullofpresley and @castiel: talk about 8 shows as a way to get to know me better. this is unexpectedly hard because rarely are the shows i most dearly love ones that i would openly recommend to another human being haha 😳 so let that be a disclaimer here as i wrack my brain. in no particular order:

(1). better call saul: i will never be as deranged about anything on television as i was about this show, scheming times were had, tragedies were felt, cinnamon rolls were eaten. kisses sealed at city hall, flowers blooming in the desert. my unpopular qualms with the last few episodes/ending aside, it was such a gorgeously layered, meticulously crafted show, i loved those characters so much, it was SUCH a cinematic treat visually, and nearly every step was finely tuned and written in such a thought-provoking way. every step was perfectly acted. i could still talk about it forever. kim wexler queen of my heart, you will always be famous. you don't save me. i save me. (shout-out to the magnificent, and inarguably definitive, predecessor breaking bad.)

(2). penny dreadful: this show is a glorious horror, a mess of victoriana, a fanfiction potpourri of some of the most famous characters of literature, no sane person should invest themselves in it. unfortunately, i, not sane, love it to the bone (except for the terrible ending, you'll catch a pattern here), predominantly because vanessa ives means everything to me. the flame to which all moths gather. defiant martyr of my heart. no one will ever be like her!!! she is my fierce compassionate sickgirl heroine, fighting against the shadows of her world, her soul forever unbowed and true. even when she fears that lost, she holds close her dignity, her ability to love, her perseverance. the poetry with which the show, particularly the first two seasons, was written is unmatched. it's gothic horror in a frame that no one else on television has ever attempted, and it felt made for me when i first watched it in january of 2020. for though it is macabre and gruesome and dark and steeped in grief, it's also about beauty and devotion and resilience and connection. "i see no wildflowers here."/"then you need to look closer." and the everlasting heartbeat, no matter what john logan did to her, my vanessa. something yet remains. i remain.

(3). bates motel: fun fact, i only started bates last february, i've watched S1-4 more than once, and yet still have not finished S5. i keep trying but i don't want to do it! it's a rare one where i already know the ending is fitting, i just keep pushing it off. it's a very difficult show, it deals with heavy themes, there's triggering and horrific stuff in the pilot alone that would immediately stop me from telling people to watch (or at least give me pause), yet at the same time i think it unexpectedly becomes one of the most brilliantly done pieces of television i've ever seen. they have this audacious idea - what if we made a prequel of one of the most iconic movies of all-time? - and somehow not only pull it off, but end up making that story richer and more meaningful. we KNOW we're plummeting towards inevitable tragedy and still wish it could be diverted. we are fascinated and repulsed and aching for the bonds these people share, the desperation as they try to survive. every character is flawed in ways that the story tries to claw humanity out of, and it does something distinct in never shaming or vilifying any of the protagonists for the wretched things they do, never talking down to the audience saying we should be judging them or wishing ill on them, but rather examining WHY they are this way, why they act and react as they do, how they have been bent into these strange shapes. it exhumes your empathy and refuses to let you turn away from the difficulties of their world. the house looms forever like a breathing entity in the background. we will always end up in the basement, but how it comes to happen is the more important tale. and it has the incomparable powerhouse of norma bates, wonderful, awful, extraordinary, complicated, half queen, half little girl. she was like a miracle. as with vanessa, i will never forget her. (another pattern you'll see here: WOMEN.)

(4). remington steele: this was the very first "grown up" show i was ever allowed to watch with my mom, in syndication when i was a kid, and i just love it so much. it's such a delight. 80s glamour! mysteries and hi-jinks! THEE ultimate will-they/won't they romance, and she doesn't even know his real name! try this for a deep dark secret - the great detective remington steele? he doesn't exist. i invented him. follow - i always loved excitement, so i studied, and apprenticed, and put my name on an office, but absolutely nobody knocked down my door... i can recite the whole first season intro monologue, burned into my brain from age twelve. we just finished a rewatch a few weeks ago and i miss them already. laura holt is intelligent, beautiful, romantic, indefatigable, the closest thing the small screen has had to a classic noir inspired brassy leading lady, and was FORMATIVE for me.

(5). crazy-ex girlfriend: they put a musical on television for me. immediate hit right there. many of the numbers are parodies/homage, cheeky and clever but still heartfelt. then it became one of the funniest, most poignant, most empathetic, most memorable explorations of infatuation, self-worth, and most significantly mental health that i have ever seen. there have been a couple of other musical concept shows (smash, notably), but none that achieved what cxg did. it's an extraordinary work and sometimes i can't believe it was allowed to exist, and got to flourish the way it did. rebecca bunch could so easily be called unlikable - selfish, impulsive, obsessive - and yet she is so lovable and so real through all of her flaws, how can you not root for her, laugh with her, sing with her, cry with her? how can you not want her to get better? you find, eventually, it was never even about the guys, though they're fun to explore in all their neuroses too. they're almost...irrelevant. "a diagnosis" will never not make me weep. the show is just so important. this is about the story of a woman who learns how to recover, how to build true friendships (#gurlgroup4eva), and how to embrace herself.

(6). that girl: another one my mom brought me up on, and there are other shows i could mention here (i love lucy, the dick van dyke show, the addams family) as far as prototypes of modern comedy go (there is a direct line from that girl to the mary tyler moore show to friends and new girl), but that girl is particularly dear to me because it was influential to my mom, and because ann marie is a character all her own. she's quirky, she's determined, she's got the greatest 60s fashion, she's constantly getting herself into situations, she's one of the very first sitcom heroines to be a "single girl in the city" and to directly confront sexism (in multiple ways, but especially in the workplace and in the entertainment industry), she is loved and adored by her boyfriend (one of the best and most patient of all fictional boyfriends), but she is not defined by don, they complement each other. marlo thomas, the icon that you are.

(7). pretty little liars: listen. i know. I KNOW. it's silly, it's ridiculous, it has a host of issues, but i was hooked. and the thing is, though the mysteries fizzled and the reveals didn't make sense, what mattered were those girls. female friendship was the heart of everything in that story, they stood by each other and supported each other through every danger, toil, and snare, and even when they messed up, they forgave each other and came back together as a team every time. -A hardly matters, but the liars are everything. young volcanoes. aria, hanna, emily, and spencer all mean so much to me for very different reasons, and spencer especially. my genius, tenacious, too-caring girl. down these mean streets a girl must go who is not herself mean.

(8). supernatural: sigh. would be remiss not to mention it, right? have, in fact, written what amount to personal essays and fanciful poetics on this blog explaining at length what it once meant to me, have delved into the folklore urban legend americana of it all, and while i have gained a certain distance from it since the palpable breakdown i had from its ending that we do not acknowledge, those entries would hold true. it was so formative that things which are on this list would not be here without it, and i know that. it's so inextricable that i can't tell what is a thread connected to it in my life and what isn't at times. premiered on my birthday and presented me one of the greatest loves of my life, who i will always carry with me. i would not quite be me without dean. i would not be here right now without dean, in more ways than one. and i do my best to be brave.

(honorable mentions to shows tam and jenn had on their lists: the x-files, tvd/the originals, the marvelous mrs. maisel; other honorable mentions: btvs/a:ts, bones, dexter, fleabag S2, gilmore girls, the good place, jane the virgin, nancy drew/hardy boys mysteries, orphan black, the haunting of bly manor, select episodes of doctor who, i am quite certain i'm forgetting a bunch!)

for this last one i am tagging @nerdfaerie​, @arthurwilde, @desireearmfeldt, @someoneoffthestreet, @freakwiththeknifecollection, @bcyoureallthatmakessense, @setyourfireonme, @dewintering, @joons, @thebohemianbelle, @beckybloomwood, @takeawaythepain, and @wickedhawtwexler, but also any of you who wants to do this, or any of the rest of these, please do, and then tag me!!! i love to see them! i apologize profusely for the pervasive brainrot. 💟