#ive been really low on energy recently

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

An AU where Tintin is a crime lord, inspired by @jerseyhobby 's post here!

Detective Rastapopoulus is one of the most brilliant minds in his department. His talent has been long overlooked due to his status as an immigrant, but when a new teenage menace starts to stir up the streets, Rastapopoulus's knack for digging into the murky depths of the criminal underworld is called upon.

His target is only known by his alias, Tintin. At just seventeen he already has a few bank heists, smuggling operations and a chain of illegal clubs under his belt. He operates like a phantom, making himself hardly known. Those who have had business with him never recall him raising his voice, as he simply does not need to. Manners go a long way, and manners are an effective mask for the brutality required to maintain such an operation.

Few are confirmed to know him personally. He has his beloved dog, Snowy, who has a taste for expensive jewelry, and his right hand man, a pickpocket-turned jewel thief he met in Shanghai. Together they are unstoppable, nothing is outside their reach - and when the Karaboudjan, a large shipping vessel goes missing, along with its crew and captain, Rastapopoulus just knows they are involved. If only he can keep his temper and ego in check, he might just be able to finally put an end to Tintin's reign of chaos, and perhaps earn the recognition he so desperately craves.

I think an AU where Tintin uses his abilities for crime would be an interesting way to see how he's impacted people he's met, so for this take I have only inverted Tintin and Rastapopoulos - Haddock is still an honest man, but his vulnerability leaves him open to being manipulated. He becomes Tintin's equivalent to Allan Thompson, only this time motivated by fear for his life rather than money. Alcohol, threats and his rock-bottom self esteem keep him in line.

Calculus is scammed by Tintin for his inventions, leaving him feeling deeply betrayed as he is someone with strong morals. He vows revenge, his tunnel vision leading him down incredibly destructive paths. He was initially targeted by Tintin because he just seemed naive and easy to exploit, but Tintin severly underestimates him, despite Chang's warnings. Not only does Tintin have the law on his tail, but a mad scientist with nothing left to lose, who has access to devastating explosives.

Chang simply wants somewhere he belongs. Canonically he's stolen from cops before, so there's no doubt that if Tintin dragged him into crime he would follow along - but he may start to doubt if their bond is built more on what he can do for him rather than his value as a person.

Rastapopoulos this time gets to use his cunning to catch a slippery crime lord, but he still has the same shortcomings as his canon counterpart. He sorely craves attention and praise. He has a terrible short temper. He craves power and influence. He starts to use increasingly questionable methods for his investigation, as his higher ups breathe down his neck for being incapable of catching a couple of queer teenage hoodlums.

Tintin himself isn't motivated by money or power, he's looking for thrills and control over his life. Canonically he's rather emotionally shut off, and he's no different here. He doesn't let himself get too attached to anyone else. Unlike canon Rastapopoulos, I can imagine a crime lord Tintin pouring money and resources into communities in need, and opening up spaces for marginalised groups like bars for queer people. He still wants to do good deep down, but just doesn't quite believe he is a good person.

[littlepikmins]

i am so proud of you

Aw thanks anon! It's very easy to fall back into old thinking habits of not being enough or doing enough and such but I am starting to recognize how important it is to not think that way and forgive myself if I can only do so much

Like if I want to keep going in this life, I need to think of even small accomplishments as enough, because they should be enough

[barblaz-arts]

Maybe, idk, just spitballin here, but just maybe team crusades deal is kinda like Lysander, but they mostly just hate the Addams family or gym leaders or sumthin.

That's... Actually not a bad idea! Tho i have no idea who Lysander is. I'll look that up

[club-prideguin]

You'll be fine, oh, honey pie.

Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so unkind?

("Community Gardens", by The Scary Jokes)

[unitato722]

hiii ive just read ur most recent post and holy shit you write good smut😭🙏 if youre taking requests could you do thigh riding donnie? PLSSDSJDKSK

Hey hun, I'm glad you enjoy my posts! I can 100% write my favorite beanpole for you.

Minors DNI

Donnie had been working lately, but then what was new? You knew going into the relationship, and even before that, that there would be times when you wouldn't see him for weeks. You had been waiting to see your lovable dork of a man for two weeks, pushing three, and while you normally wouldn't have minded, you had an issue.

You'd been laying in bed that night fantasizing about all these different scenarios in your head. Before you knew it your shorts were discarded and your favorite toy was shoved inside of you as you worked desperately to get off. But you couldn't.

Tears of frustration were coursing down your face hours later as your arm started to lose feeling from moving the toy inside of you, yet you still weren't able to cum. Was it because you and Donnie had been getting intimate recently? The memory of it causes fresh tears and a new wave of wetness between your thighs.

It seemed as if you were unable to get off by yourself, which only meant one thing...

You walked into the lair a few hours later in a sour mood. You scared Mikey half to death as he came around the corner with a plate of nachos, nearly throwing them in the air. "Holy shit dude! You scared the crap out of me!" He exclaimed as he clutched his chest with one hand and the nacho plate in the other. "What are you doing here at this time? It's like 1 am."

You rolled your eyes as you nudged your way past him. "Just had a bad day. I came to see if Donnie had emerged from his lair yet," you admitted.

As if on cue, a hollow crashing sound came from the lab. You bolted towards the door and yanked it open to reveal Donnie who was sitting in his rolly chair with his head in one of his hands. He looked drained, like he hadn't slept in days, and he probably hadn't. On the floor were two plastic cups in a puddle of what smelled like old coffee.

You approached your boyfriend and put a soft hand to his face. "Are you ok?" You asked as you looked him over.

"Yeah," Donnie breathed out in response. "I think I'm finished, but the final product needs to sit for 48 hours so I figured I'd get a nap in." He stared hopelessly at the cups on the floor again, looking for all the world like he was completely drained of any and all energy.

Luckily you were used to this, and you hurried over to the clean up station to get a wet rag. You could tell that the turtle wanted to protest but he couldn't bring himself to scold you for it either. He watched as you cleaned up the spill and washed your hands before coming to stand in front of him.

"You look exhausted," you nite softly.

"I feel exhausted."

A beat of silence passes as you look into each other's eyes. Finally, Donnie pulls you closer until you're sitting on his lap and gives your forehead a kiss. "Thanks for cleaning up for me sweetheart, you didn't have to do that."

You silence him with a peck on the lips. "Of course I do, you can barely stand," you retort. You take a moment to give him a slow, passionate kiss and you can feel all the tension rush out of his body as he melts into it. Once you break apart you stand, grabbing his hand to lead him to the bed he kept at the back of his lab. Your purple turtle boyfriend collapses onto the mattress with a groan and you giggle.

You shift your legs as you watch him lay against the bed, body all lean muscle and sculpted abs. As Donnie sits himself up against the headboard he groans again, this time low in his chest. "Fuck babe, I can smell you from over here," he eyes you, still at the foot of the bed and gestures for you to come closer. "Do you really like me that much?"

It's said teasingly, but as you crawl up the bed you can't help but nod. "I'm sorry, I can't help it. You're just... So attractive," you admit with a blush.

Donnie's cheeks heat at the compliment, not used to receiving such praises. He chuckles and lets one hand come to caress your face, churning when you lean into the touch lovingly. "If I had any energy left I'd ravish you."

You smile. "There will be time for that later," you insist, but Donnie shakes his head.

"Oh no, I can see that your pent up. Just look at you," he coos. "So needy aren't you? Why don't you show me how much you need it?"

The words hang heavy in the air for less than a moment before you're crawling onto his lap to straddle one of his large legs. You whimper as the large thigh beneath you flexes and Donnie lets out a hiss. "Holy fuck, I can feel you soaking through my pants," he groans out as his hands find your hips.

All you can do is moan in response to the friction. When your boyfriend tugs at your pants you're quick to strip them off, along with your underwear, before returning to your seat.

Donnie groans as you grind against his leg with fervor, heat building in you like it had earlier, although this time you were determined to see it through. So lost in finding that pleasure you were that you didn't see the turtle beneath you staring at the lewd wet patch you were making on his pants. If he wasn't so drained he would have teased you, maybe even edged you before taking you here on this mattress. But right now he was entirely focused on your pleasure.

A bounce of his leg has you gasping and clutching at his shoulders for some semblance of stability. "F-fuck," you pant out, "it f-feels so good~"

The steady up and down of his leg paired with the way his hands were moving your hips down had you seeing stars. Had you been more aware you might have been embarrassed about how easily your man was drawing sounds out of you with just his leg. But here you were, gasping and crying out as that string pulled tighter and tighter.

A hand found your face and moved it so that you were looking right into the eyes of your lover, and it caused you to topple over the edge. Donnie's eyes held a fire even through the exhaustion. The way he looked at you was thirsty and desperate, like he couldn't bear to look away from you. "God I'm so lucky," he whispered before pulling you down into a kiss as your high washed over you.

You moaned into Donnie's mouth as you fell apart on top of him before collapsing into his arms. A low noise caused you to look up at your lover, only to find him staring heatedly at the large wet patch you had left on his leg. Your cheeks heated as you dug your face into his chest in shame. "I'm so sorry Donnie, I-" you're cut off by his lips.

"Don't you dare apologize. That's the hottest thing I've ever fucking seen."

Too tired to change into new sweats he simply pulls you down to lay with him on the bed as he begins to doze off. "Don't get too comfortable now baby. Once I wake up I'm going to fuck you until you can't walk straight," he growls into your ear before nuzzling into your neck.

God you couldn't wait.

[a-court-of-mischief-and-madness]

✨ Preview

A/n: comment for part 2! i know this is slightly different but, ive recently been insanely obsessed with kwon after cobra kais season 6, so fans of kwon like me, enjoy!!

Barcelona Nights: The Battle Between Us

Enemies to Lovers | Kwon Jae Sung x Miyagi-Do Fighter

The rooftop was chaos disguised as celebration. The beat of bass-heavy music pounded through the floor, a primal rhythm echoing the earlier fights below. Fighters laughed and shouted over one another, drenched in sweat and triumph, limbs slung around shoulders like drunken warriors after battle. Lanterns swung in the night breeze, casting flickering golden light over crimson bruises and split lips.

But none of that registered.

Your eyes had locked onto a single target—the figure leaning against the edge of the rooftop, the city of Barcelona sprawling like a conquered kingdom behind him.

Kwon Jae Sung.

Shirtless. Gleaming with sweat and blood. Smiling like the night belonged to him.

The discarded Cobra Kai gi lay in a crumpled heap on a lounge chair beside him, its red snake insignia glinting like a threat in the low light. His black belt hung loose around his waist, more like a trophy than a symbol of discipline. His bare chest rose and fell with slow, measured breaths, each one making the deep lines of his abs flex like something carved from stone. His hands—taped and stained with someone else's blood—rested on the railing, casual, like he wasn’t the most dangerous thing on this rooftop.

You hated how effortlessly he looked like a walking storm.

You hated more that he’d noticed you.

“You lost?” he called out, voice dark and amused, slicing through the haze like a blade. “Or just looking for another lecture to quote from your sacred scrolls?”

You stopped several feet away, spine straightening, jaw clenched. His tone was mocking, but beneath it, there was something else—something low and simmering.

“You look like a villain in a cheap martial arts film,” you replied coolly. “But I guess Cobra Kai doesn’t really do subtle.”

He turned, and that smirk of his—the one you’d seen on the mat after he’d knocked someone breathless—stretched wider.

“And you look like you still think balance wins fights.” His gaze dropped, slow and deliberate, taking in the Miyagi-Do crest stitched proudly onto your fitted uniform. “Let me guess. Daniel-san gave you a lecture about inner peace right before you nearly got your ribs cracked.”

You took another step forward, fury a slow burn beneath your skin. “I didn’t come here to fight.”

His eyes glinted, dark and full of challenge. “That’s the problem with your dojo. You never do. Always waiting. Always reacting. You ever think that’s why you’ll never beat someone like me?”

You scoffed, voice sharp. “Please. The only reason you win is because you overwhelm. You hit first, ask questions never. You don’t fight with skill—you fight like a scared dog with too many teeth.”

Something flickered in his expression—brief, hot, almost offended.

He stepped toward you.

One step.

Then another.

And suddenly you were hyper-aware of just how close he was. Of how tall. How broad. How every inch of him vibrated with coiled energy that felt like it could snap the world in half.

“Careful, pretty girl,” he murmured, voice low, his Korean accent curling around the insult like silk over steel. “You talk like you’ve already figured me out.”

You forced yourself not to step back, even as your heart raced. “I don’t need to figure you out. You’re Cobra Kai. You’re obvious.”

His eyes dropped to your lips.

“You think you hate me,” he said. “But I see the way you watch me when I fight. Like you’re imagining something else.”

You blinked, heat rushing up your neck, but you held your ground. “You’re delusional.”

“Maybe.” He leaned in, lips brushing just beside your ear. “But I felt your eyes on me the second I walked in. The same way you look at the fight—hungry.”

Your breath hitched. The world narrowed until it was just his voice and your pulse, crashing in your ears like the drums of war.

“I look at you,” he continued, eyes locked onto yours now, “and all I see is someone who’s dying to lose control.”

Your hand shot up before you could stop it, palm flat against his chest, shoving him back an inch. “You don’t know me.”

He didn’t even flinch. Just looked down at where you touched him, then dragged his gaze up with agonizing slowness. “No,” he said, voice like smoke and ash. “But I will.”

You should’ve walked away.

Should’ve turned on your heel and melted into the crowd.

But your hand stayed on his chest.

And his didn’t stop when it rose to gently brush a piece of hair from your face, knuckles grazing your cheekbone.

“You’re Miyagi-Do,” he said, almost to himself. “All heart. All control. All those little rules you cling to like armor.”

“And you’re Cobra Kai,” you whispered. “All ego and fists and bruises. Nothing underneath.”

His lips curved, a dangerous smile. “You sure about that?”

Then, with no more warning than a shift in the air, his mouth was on yours.

Hot.

Hard.

Unapologetic.

His hand fisted in your hair, tilting your head just enough to deepen the kiss, his tongue brushing over your bottom lip like a dare. And damn you, you kissed him back like you’d been waiting your whole life to lose to him.

It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t romantic.

It was war.

Fingers dug into muscle. Breath tangled. Your back hit the wall as his body pressed into yours, solid and unrelenting. The kiss bruised. Punished. Claimed.

You didn’t stop it.

Because something about him—his fury, his fire, his need to dominate—matched something dark and desperate inside you that you’d never dared acknowledge. Not in the dojo. Not in sparring. Not even in dreams.

When he pulled back, both of you breathing like you’d just gone three rounds, his thumb brushed over your lips.

He didn’t ask.

He ordered.

“Take me somewhere no one will interrupt us.”

And you, Miyagi-Do born and bred, traitor to every rule Daniel LaRusso ever taught you—nodded.

[butchpeace]

so ive been on testosterone for over a year now and dont currently plan on stopping- i feel better when im running off testosterone and looking more masc is always nice, i've also very recently had top surgery and am perceived as a man in daily life.. there was a period where i was identifying as a t4t gay man- since then i have excepted my identity as a butch lesbian whos into other butches,, all of this to say ive been exploring radfem spaces more and i find your blog really interesting, i wonder your opinions about masculine women using masculine pronouns and terms to address themselves with? (also being seen as a man is so ..strange? i am not a man i am a dyke- maybe i should get a badge or smth)

Using male terms is something butch women have been doing forever. Usually just for fun. Personally I don’t like it anymore but I don’t think there’s anything objectively wrong with it!

Feeling weird about people perceiving me as male was a huge part of my detransition. I got to the point where I was genuinely read as male by the majority of people, and because of that I felt out of place socially, like I was part of a world that I didn’t want to be part of. Women didn’t see me as one of their own anymore and that hurt. I wanted to be seen as male and thought I would be okay with it. Until I actually got there. I think that’s a very common experience.

Anyway, there’s a reason you feel vaguely “better” on testosterone. It’s the same reason female bodybuilders feel better on steroids. Scientifically, testosterone tends to have the effect of boosting women’s mood as well as giving us more energy and making us feel stronger. What the trans community tells you is that you feel better because you’re on the “right” hormones now. It’s bullshit.

If you really feel that you need to continue using it, consider at least dropping down to a very low dosage so you have a lower risk of the health issues that come with a high dose. Check out the Medical Research link in my pinned post.

Anyway I’m happy that you’re coming to a better understanding of yourself and what you want for your life! And I hope me sharing my story has helped you a bit 🌈

[theninthdoor]

Hi! I know you did this a while back but I wonder if the rankings have changed? : Based on tarot which kpop group would you say is the closest? Out of aespa, Le sserafim, itzy, Ive, nwjns, gidle, stay c

aespa || the hanged man rx: I feel like they go through waves of being really close vs giving each other some space. It's all pretty natural, and depends on their schedules, interests at the moment, what they're going through in their personal lives, etc.

LE SSERAFIM || ace of pentacles, king of wands rx: They are actually pretty close, I believe - at least right now. With the KoW rx coming out as the clarifier, I think this might have something to do with their recent experiences + challenges as a group. Previously they might've been a little more distant and out-of-sync, and because that started to affect their group's performance so strongly and visibly, the members must've now decided to make an effort to become closer to one another.

Itzy || six of cups rx: This is very similar to aespa's situation! - they go through waves.

IVE || the devil rx: This honestly reads as them choosing not to be too close right now in order to keep the peace. There are a couple of unresolved issues with them that only seem to get worse when they spend too much time together, or allow themselves to become too vulnerable with/around one another. The girls themselves, I think, need to do some personal growth, and only then can they function better as a group (personally, specially).

(G)I-dle || nine of pentacles: To me this feels very much like "old friends who tell each other everything, but can go weeks or months without talking", you know? It's a low maintance type of partnership/friendship, but still close and strong.

NewJeans || ace of swords, the magician rx: Not all members are close (personally), but still, the group as a whole is very much in sync and they all understand each other perfectly. It's funny because I actually feel like they have chosen to keep some distance between themselves outside of schedules? Like, it reads as a "never mix business with pleasure" type of thing; "keep your professional lives and personal lives separate".

StayC || knight of wands rx: I think some members have built pretty strong friendships here, and the whole group is close to a certain degree. However, I don't really see them considering themselves "close friends", for some reason.

(Disclaimer: All is alleged and for entertainment purposes only. Based on current energies.)

[hdra77]

I wish i have enough time to draw more sorry for the lack of art these days :( i really want to draw but grgrgrr college

I have a new oc ive been wanting to share it with you guys though ^^ really dislike her recent design so might aswell make it better + put more effort into it when i have the time (oh and also some two new slugcat ocs ill share them soon)

But i also have commissions to finish so all of these plans are starting to stress me out 😭 my energy working on comms are really low atm but ill still get them done either way !! Just, need some time to draw for myself too maybe hopefully i would get all that motivation back

[bunnypansy]

Twst as K-Pop Groups!

Rated E, for EVERYONE!

A short film exploring a Twisted Wonderland Idol AU!

Featuring: All the dorms + Che'nya and a Neige mention

Beware! This film contains: really bad kpop group names, smoking mention, otherwise I think it's fine

Heartslaybul

Group name: LVBZ (Luver Boyz), I wanted to lean into the heart theme for that classic boygroup feel

Fandom name: Rozes, for obvious reasons

While Riddle is the obvious answer for leader, Trey is the right answer. Responsible older brother Trey is probably deeply underappreciated in the group. I feel like he’s probably been in a group that disbanded early before, (cough, Che’nya, Trey, Riddle group anyone?) and has a bit of a tired vibe. He writes a good handful of the songs since he plays the guitar, but he’s actually not crazy about pop. They definitely share a dorm and Trey made a chore chart for them.

Riddle is definitely taking the position of vocalist and center, he’s probably really strict about his training and exercise, he was a trainee for a loooong time and after his last group he’s kinda nervous. His mom used to be a very popular vocalist, but you’ll never catch him with nepo baby claims because he’s so intense. Besides LVBZ Riddle also does some modeling on the side and will probably end up in a drama of some kind.

Cater is absolutely giving “has so many predebut photos” energy. From vlives, to vlogs, cooking videos, asmr videos, tiktoks, instagram posts, Cater is all over their social media like crazy. He’s got a pretty good public image, always interacting with fans, the only thing is- he's a chronic content farmer, it's like so bad guys. At least his aegyo is actually cute? He’s the face and probably a sub vocalist of some kind, but definitely writes the lot of their songs. Seems like the type who has a very good image but chainsmokes/vapes on the side.

RAPPER DEUCE. Okay normal again. But he totally fits the rapper vibes, I can’t stress how well it fits. Has the most embarrassing predebut photos known to man, lots of him with badly dyed hair and he probably had a bullying scandal really early into his career. Extremely awkward aegyo, fans love him cus he comes off as cute but very genuine, fan favorite.

At this point I’ve put all the basketball boys as dancers but can you blame me? Ace reeks of high energy dancer who kinda sucks ass at singing. He tries really, but just let him be the main dancer and a sub rapper! Ace and Deuce used to go to the same highschool predebut and did not get along. Don't leave this guy alone with fans, not because he's going to do anything criminal- he's just gonna say some dumb shit. Spill a secret, be generally kinda dickish- just. Don't do it, fanservice is not Ace’s strong suit

Their discography is kinda all over the place but I feel like that’s the Heartslaybul vibe? I tried to keep it light and sort of… classic boy group vibes. I'm not really into light concept boy groups so this was difficult for me. (I wrote this before I listened to zb1’s debut. They are zb1)

Debut song: Kitsch by IVE

Other tracks: In Bloom by Zb1; Very Nice by Seventeen; Attention by New Jeans; Sour Grapes by Lesserafim; Blue Flame by Lesserafim; Best Friend Ever by NCT Dream

Solo releases:  One and Only by Gowon of Loona (Riddle); Anti-romantic by TXT (Trey)

Savanaclaw

Group name: BxB (Boy X Beast), I swear I wasn’t trying to copy TXT that hard

Fandom name: BOB (Be Our Best), because fans “make them their best”. It’s so bad but this is intentional

Leona is the leader but honestly he doesn’t do much to corral anyone. He’s definitely been in a couple groups that have done very poorly and can’t stop getting compared to his more successful brother- a recently retired soloist. Worse, he gets tons of “he’s a lazy dancer” and “nepo baby” comments from fans. He’s a bit jaded, and for good reason. He’s not much of a dancer, moreso acting as the visual and vocalist in his group and chances are he’s done an acting gig or two. Leona does a lot of low energy vlives, it's like him eating fried chicken in the dark while barely talking on camera. Refuses to do any cutesy fanservice, ask him to look hot? Done and done. Aegyo? Ask Ruggie.

Ruggie is the face of the group, everyone on the planet has seen him busking before and during his trainee period, not to mention he’s funny, fans love him. He’s also carrying the rapper position, and often gets center, but he and Leona are honestly neck and neck in that area. Ruggie's pretty good aegyo but he literally always laughs afterwards. So many memes of the dumb faces he makes while laughing.

Jack iiiis the dancer, so many first years were subjected to dancer and rapper sorry guys. He’s tried to write songs but only a couple have really panned out- the others are encouraging though! Obviously maknae, endless jokes about being GIANT despite being the youngest. Somehow he seems to take this the most serious despite being the newest to this?

Their sound is very classically masculine, as is Savanaclaw’s vibe. If they barked in the song I legally had to add it

Debut song: Clap by Seventeen

Other Tracks: Superbowl by SKZ; Wonderland by ATEEZ; Wolfgang by SKZ (sorry it was too funny not to); (Grrr 총량의 법칙) BEWARE by SKZ; My Pace by SKZ; Boxer by SKZ; Bouncy by ATEEZ

Solo releases: None

Octavinelle

Group name: TYDE (“Take Your Dreams Everywhere”), I went the EXiD route with this one, it was a little too funny not to

Fandom name: Tied, because TYDE is tied to them 

Oh my god. Despite being my favorite dorm, Octavinelle gave me a fuckin hell of a time to put together, I just did not have a clear vision for them at all. I’m going with Azul, even though I considered leader Jade for a little bit, simply because I think Azul is the kind of leader who designs a bunch of merch for the fans- a la the VIXX thong. He’s rocking with the visual, center, and vocalist position. He comes off as a very smooth and self assured leader, but let’s be honest he’s the only one in the group who’s having a panic attack before award shows. I think he probably had a really hard time as a trainee and can’t let that go just yet.

Jade doesn’t get any kind of strong spot in the lineup somehow, despite there only being three members, he definitely ends up a bit in the background. But Jade doesn’t mind! He honestly doesn’t care much for the spotlight and is mostly here because Azul and Floyd are. He writes all the songs for their group, no arguments.

So we all know Floyd is the dancer, guy canonically loves dancing, but he’s also going to steal the rapper position. This is because rappers are always the weird ones in the group, and by god is Floyd the weird one. He always gets styled extremely strangely, I mean every time he steps on stage he ends up in a new “worst outfits in kpop” list. Floyd ends up being the face because he’s such a standout, not to mention the fact he keeps… showing up with other groups. Is there a vlive happening? Somehow Floyd interrupts. Another group practicing? Not without Floyd they’re not. He’s even managed to be in the background of several MVs (think OOH-AHH Chan). Floyd seems to just know everyone everywhere. 

Holy hell okay their music gave me a hard time too. Octavinelle is so solidified as jazz in my head that trying to think of anything else for them gave me an aneurysm.I struggled so much that yeah I’m breaking and adding one or two japanese songs, sorry guys

Debut Song: Mafia In The Morning by Itzy

Other Tracks: Dice by Nmixx; First by Everglow (tell me Azul wouldn’t tear up those vocals?? Get Floyd on the chorus? Screaming); Play with Fire by Camellia (covered by ツバサ【歌の部屋】 if you need to hear a human sing it); Black Suit by Super Junior 

Solo releases: ViViD by Heejin of Loona (Azul); Villain by Stella Jang (Azul)

Scarabia

Group name: Wysper (Honestly not happy with either of the names but I can’t think of anything better)

Fandom name: Wishes

Okay they’re complex because. Uh. Jamil is basically doing everything. He’s the most talented  dancer, rapper, vocalist; it’s just that Kalim is the face. Aaaand the center. Despite being a trainee for a way shorter amount of time, despite not being as skilled as Jamil, Kalim took first place in the competitive show they both participated in. Very bitter. Jamil tries to keep it on the down-low but their relationship is definitely suffering from favoritism.

Kalim has probably been a star for a very long time, I’m talking child star levels of fame and already had a fan base by the time he and Jamil debuted. He’s got amazing charisma and stage presence, not to mention Kalim is taking first place as the aegyo king. However, the nepo baby allegations are through the ROOF, seeing as his family straight up owns the company he and Jamil debuted under. That’s not to say he doesn’t try! He works hard, but it’s not going to save him, especially when he’s getting a billion offers from modeling companies and fashion brands, when Jamil isn’t.

I can’t describe what their sound is exactly? I feel like it’s somewhere close to reggaeton with a bit of bollywood/southeast asia

Debut song: You cannot tell me Paint The Town by Loona is not THE Wysper song. It’s literally so perfect I was angry I didn’t think of it earlier. Kalim on the light verses, Jamil on the chorus? Insane. 

Other tracks: Icky by Kard; Charmer by SKZ; Cake by Kard; Ring the Alarm by Kard; Tinnitus by TXT; SHOOT! by Itzy; Red Moon by Kard

Solo releases: Singing in the Rain by JinSoul of Loona (Kalim)

Pomefiore

Group name: FoE (Fruit of Evil), I wanted to lean into the lip/biting themes for them and pick something that felt suitably sexy

Fandom name: Bites

Vil has to be the leader obviously, but he’s also the face, visual and vocalist- let’s be real he’s the most favored of the group and everyone knows it. He was definitely an actor before this, he probably ended up in the group because of an elimination show that he won and then got the privilege of picking all his other members. He for sure has some solo releases, brand deals, modeling gigs- Vil is the it boy of their generation, the kind of idol everyone knows. Definitely a massive one-sided rivalry with Neige, because Neige was probably in a NCT Dream type group as a kid, then went solo when he got older and became incredibly successful. Vil is endlessly jealous.

Rook was probably a runner up in the same show as Vil and fully admitted to being a massive fan while on the show. He’s the best dancer in the group, probably the center, and writes the majority of the songs cus I know this weird fucker likes poetry. Rook is guy who’s a fan before he’s an idol, definitely has a room full of merchandise, people have caught him buying albums of his favorite group

Epel is the maknae, obviously, and was probably previously a background dancer. Vil saw him and picked him up by the scruff of his neck. He’s definitely the only real rapper of the group and can dance pretty well, but this is not the kind of group he wanted to be in. Epel was probably hoping for a concept a bit more like BxB but we don’t all get what we wish for

I listened to Nude while making this and it changed my entire vibe for their group. They’re just (g)-idle. If the music makes you wanna worship a woman it belongs to FoE.

Debut song: Love Dive by IVE

Other Tracks: Nude by (g)-idle; Oh my God by (g)-idle; Villain Dies by (g)-idle; Snapping by Chung Ha; Do Not Touch by Misamo of Twice; Cry For Me by Twice

Solo releases: Vengeance by Bibi (Vil)

Ignihyde 

What group

It’s just Idia

He’s probably a producer or sumthing let’s be so real guys. Ortho is his sound set up.

I’ll still give examples of what I think his tracks sound like tho. Lots of dubstep and generally electronic sounds cus… come on guys, it’s too perfect.

Tracks: Illusion by Aespa; Miroh by SKZ; Freeze by SKZ; Hold On Tight by Aespa

Diasomnia 

Group name: Som.nia (Nia), I wanted to lean into the sleepy/dream feeling

Fandom name: Niacs, insomnia/insomniac you get it okay

“Malleus is leader!” you cry, and you are wrong, because Lilia literally has to be leader. He is the objectively the best (and funniest) option, Malleus does not have the backbone to be leader yet. Lilia has been around the block a billion times; he’s been a vkei idol, he’s been a model, he’s probably been a wrestler let’s be real he’s the Sakura of twst fr. He writes most of the songs for the group, but is definitely trying to get the others to improve their songwriting skills. While Lilia gets a lot of offers, he turns them down. If I’m honest, he’s probably going to quit being an idol after 

Malleus is definitely taking the vocalist position, no question. He’s also probably taking the “least popular member of the group” position. Poor guy is seriously awkward on camera and has a chronic case of resting scary face. He takes center pretty frequently, half as an attempt to get him some more recognition- it’s not great cus he’s kinda a stiff dancer. He was fairly popular pre-debut for his extremely strange energy 

Call me insane, but dancer Silver! He’s very physically capable, it’s just… you’ll catch him sleeping every time he’s not practicing. Definitely has insane muscle memory, he could do all his choreography with his eyes closed. He’s also an occasional vocalist, he’s got a nice soft voice. Sebek is always getting on him for “being lazy” but Silver usually just tells him to screw off.

Sebek gets rapper because he’s sooooo good at projecting and enunciating aggressively. It’s all the Malleus worship. I think he was a trainee at the same time as Malleus and was utterly obsessed with him, fan favorite for being So Weird All The Time.

I’ll be so real, if the song made me feel gorgeous it went on the list. They kinda reek of 3rd gen Kpop? This is definitely Lilia’s fault. But I’m so here for it the nostalgia go CRAAAZY. Also they are VIXX thanks.

Debut Song: Butterfly by Loona

Other Tracks: Bite Me by Enhyphen; Chained Up by VIXX, Shangri-La by VIXX; Blood, Sweat and Tears by BTS (are you kidding me this addition is so good I’m genuinely LOSING IT); Scentist by VIXX; Fever by Enhyphen; Sugar Rush Ride by Enhyphen; Inception by ATEEZ

Solo releases: Egoist by Olivia Hye of Loona (Silver)

Honorable mentions (these are a bit shorter)

First year gang

Group name: F1rst

Fandom name: Zer0, because they come before first

Jack gets to be leader! He’s responsible, if a bit nervous, takes the vocalist position here.

Epel gets visual in this case, though he still does a fair amount of rap.

Deuce is the best with fans and gets to be center, he’s a pretty good all-rounder here.

Ace is still the best dancer in the group and literally will never stop gloating.

Sebek gets to be the rapper and takes the face position because he’s So Weird All The Time

I think they are literally just Stray Kids tbh, my favoritism is showing but I don’t even care

Debut Song: Break All the Rules by Cravity

Other Tracks: Super board by SKZ; Thunderous by SKZ; S-Class by SKZ; Domino by SKZ; TOPLINE by SKZ; God’s Menu by SKZ

Pop music club 

Group name: Jump Up! I wanted to pick something really cheery and high energy

Fandom name: Highs

Kalim is leader here again, he’s just got that energy! He also gets to be the rapper

Cater swipes the vocalist position, finally gets a chance to shine fr

Old man Lilia somehow bags the dancer position and is no question the face

They're peppy, poppy, a classic girl group type noise.

Debut song: Hi High by Loona was truly too perfect

Other tracks: Hula Hoop by Loona; Air Force One by Odd Eye Circle of ARTMS

Floyd + Che’nya + Ruggie

Group name: THEE (can be said like “thee” or “tee-hee”)

Fandom name: Teenies

Ruggie is the leader and lead dancer for this one! 

Seeing as Floyd has had dancer ripped from his hands by Ruggie, he’s going to fully take over rap

And Che’nya gets to be vocalist, I like to believe he’s got some pipes on him

Literally just silly vibes

Debut song: Cheese by SKZ

Other Tracks: Taller Than You by Mamamoo; Maniac by SKZ; Circus by SKZ; Don’t Tease Me by Speed 

Lilia + Malleus + Vil + Rook

Group name: Nu Moon

Fandom name: Starlights, yeah I stole it from VIXX, sue me

Malleus, king of goth, gets to lead this group- it’s a very good starter group to lead, considering he’s got a lot of experienced members

Lilia is quite obviously producing every single song for this group, that’s mostly what he’s here to do, so he also takes up the mantle of dancer

Vil is once again the visual and the face, but he’s giving up the vocalist position

Shock of shocks, Rook gets to be the vocalist here! Because he doesn’t get to shine much in FoE

They are literally dreamcatcher.

Debut song: BEcause by Dreamcatcher

Other tracks: Piri by Dreamcatcher; Odd Eye by Dreamcatcher; Boca by Dreamcatcher; Scream by Dreamcatcher

That's the end of today's showing, as always, thank you for coming.

Did anyone ask for this? uhhhh no. But it made me very happy so whatever. Legitimately Octavinelle gave me so much trouble I changed their tracklist like four times. I was tempted to make Diasomnia Dreamcatcher as well, but I didn't want to erase Silver's lo-fi soft boy vibes.

[woodswolf]

🌿🏜️🔪🪲?

writer's truth or dare ask game

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

honestly? just don't be afraid to step away. sometimes you're not in the right headspace for a project and that's okay. work with your brain, not against it - whether that's on a different WIP or just taking a break for a while. sometimes this means the WIP sits for a little while. sometimes this means you abandon it. roll with the punches, don't dodge into them.

like for example, i've been having One Of The Weeks Of My Life at my job recently and just feeling really burned out and depressed on the Major Fucking Crunch Time this project is getting into. i didn't feel like working on chapter 5 when i was feeling that terrible, but i was able to channel some of that energy into a side story. i've barely started it as of yet, but it's got a lot of potential, has required a lot of research, and just. it's helped burn off a lot of the negative emotion (because it involves a very similar kind of negative emotion and focuses on a kind of burnout recovery. lol)

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

long analysis comments are like the #1 kind of comment to get in my good books. i get an excuse to talk about Fun Details whether intentional or not and just generally feed information to someone who isn't fully aware of all of the complexities of a project yet (usually my partner lol)

however.

i personally consider that the highest honor i could ever receive would be recursive fanfiction. fanart as well, yes, but fanfiction in particular. it's more or less a reflection of my own process in a way; i write a lot of recursive fanfiction relative to my output, but i only write recursive fanfiction about fanfiction that really, really resonated with me, or that often were incredibly formative to me in their own specific ways. it's not enough for it to be a good story - it has to change something about me, alter my perspective or open my eyes to an entirely new world. often these end up feeling like (or just being) treatises on a particular subject; there are fics on hope, on grief, on forgetting, on becoming monsters. and it's just.... it's powerful.

i could link all of these if anyone is curious.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

honestly all of the research i've done for DLD and other fics in the DLDCM (Dogs Leading Dogs Cinematic Multiverse) qualifies as really weird. outside of the semi-standard fanfiction-writer fare (e.g. symptoms of various injuries, or how to identify certain types of injuries like with that shoulder test), there are two broad categories of "what the fuck" research that i've gone into very extensively.

the first category, which i keep coming back to over and over, is all of the speculative biology shit. basically NONE of it is going to come up until more than halfway through catch/cradle at minimum, but at this point ive probably put close to ten hours of research into figuring out what the fuck is wrong with these things. (and that's just the research, not the processing that shit afterward.) i know what this guy breathes. i don't know exactly how his metabolism works, but i do have a general outline that seems approximately sound, and have a general principle for how it interacts with other metabolisms. i don't just know HIS metabolism by the way, i know like three other components' metabolic interactions and life cycles and to some extent their histories. and then we get into all of the other lore shit that is Very Present and Very Real and Very Probably Isn't Going To Be Written Down In Any Fics and also isn't strictly research based as much as vibes based but it doesn't have to be research based because my source is i made it the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but tl;dr there's a CRAZY amount of various kinds of biology lore and 90% of it is never going to see the light of day most likely

the second category which has generally come about more recently is primitive / historical technology. generally just a lot of how you would do certain things - such as making paper, or refining clay, or working metal or glass - if you were starting from (almost) nothing.

additional shoutout to when i did some brief research on akkadian for one of my recurive fic projects, that was fun but really overwhelming and i ended up not finishing it myself lol

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

from chapter 5:

The ship doesn’t need any additional explanation. “I’ll set the course,” it says. Brief and to the point. He can’t help but appreciate that right now. The controls shift ever-so-slightly under his hands as they start following a slightly different autopilot route. It’ll set them up for the approach path they discovered on the second day — one that doesn’t cut through as many of the giant trees.

thanks for the ask!! :D

[denji-irl]

hello my friends, things have been very horrible for me lately. ive been stressed bc of so many things and have been having a hard time making it through life. my parents do not want to support me financially anymore, ive been having a bad time finding loans, ive been trying to manage work and school but most days I'm so low energy, and right now im 100 dollars under rent and bills that I need to pay by the 1st of the month, not to mention I have school to pay as well which I'm not sure how I'll make money for that considering everything I make goes towards rent and bills and groceries...

all that to say I need help. im still looking at outside sources for help but I'd really, genuinely appreciate any bit of change that could help. at least with rent as I do not want to be kicked out and homeless if I fail to pay rent, nor do I want to risk it... i really hate asking and being vulnerable like this so please if anyone would be kind enough to donate even just a bit here is my PayPal feel free to repost if you can... if you need to contact me feel free to message me here or on discord denji_irl id really appreciate any donations and id be willing to do whatever it takes to show my appreciation just let me know... also putting my gofundme here

[gayaest]

hi hi!!

do u happen to have any references or tips or etc on drawing mobility aids?? Ive recently been thinking , and I haven’t ever really fully tried to draw any or a character with / using them ( despite me having multiple characters who I believe would very likely use them )

I’m sorry if this is too much to ask- I just absolutely adore ur art and had a quick question-

That really depends on which mobility aids you are talking about! I have a lot of knowledge and have done a lot of research — as well have used many of them myself!

Firstly, you can find a semi-helpful stream that I had done on my youtube HERE (click). Its a bit old and I had planned sharing an updated video on wheelchairs eventually — I’m just low energy rn and haven’t had the time.

Secondly, my biggest tip for whatever mobility aid you want to draw is to look them up and trace the basic shapes, or the whole thing. It’s good practice, and a way to understand the whole mechanism, and why certain things are the way they are.

Outside from that, if a character you’ve created has a disability you don’t and/or mobility aid you might not use yourself — research research research! even googling simple questions like “what does a rollator do” is better than nothing at all.

I hope this helps you, and I’m sorry if it’s not super comprehensive as I just woke up and have very little energy!

[cpunkwitch]

answering my own questions

[pt: answering my own questions]

dont really get sent anything and not many people sent in the questions when the games were posted and reblogged, and i wanted to talk about stuff, so here we are.

this might end up being a multiple part post series?

ask game one (link)

(if comfortable) tell us about your condition? as much info as youre comfy with sharing.

i have a defect in the base of my spine, since i was born its caused me chronic pain all throughout my development and in recent years its only gotten worse, twisting my spine, headaches, jaw issues etc. i've also got highly suspected rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and ive been diagnosed with a pretty bad case of anemia so bad that everytime a doctor looks at my results after bloodwork they give me a pained look and say "heyy...did you know your iron is low? like...really really low?". that and a hand full of other things, vitamin deficiencies, etc. i dont mind talking more about this

2. do you know about the spoon theory? if yes, what do you think of it?

i'll be honest, the majority of my knowledge of spoon theory off the top of my head is that "drawer with limited supply of spoons" is the disabled way of saying i only have so much motivation and energy (phys, as "battery" usually refers to social and emotional) in me. i've read up on it ages ago but would not be able to put into better words what i still remember about spoon theory (esp since we had a different host back then), i like that its just so much quicker and easier to convey my amount of ability to do things for the day by saying whether or not i have the spoons for it.

i do like to joke that my drawer is always stocked with knives and forks for the ablests, but sometimes that requires spoons to handle too. /silly

3. do you have mobility aids? if yes, which ones? if no, do you want any in the future?

i've mention how i really wish i could have a wheelchair if i were in a different situation, i dont know if i'll ever get one and i almost cried when my brother responded to my joke of "would you make on for me?" with an "i would if i could", i really would like a wheelchair of some kind in the future if the world were more accessible and i were in a safer place. right now though, i've just got my cane that still needs repainting. i guess my moms back brace counts too, i take it with me to work sometimes.

4. how did you find out about cripplepunk? what drew you to the community and movement?

i dont exactly remember but i've known about it for years. i (prev host) might have come across it looking up different punk aesthetics, though im not completely sure why it showed up in a punk aesthetic list, possibly because its punk and people misinterpreted it? my first glimpse was seeing patches on jackets, spiked customized aids, cripples/phys disabled people in your classic punk attire (piercings, dyed spiked mohawks, ripped jeans and fingerless gloves) and i loved it. im a sucker for self expression through appearance and customizing things and then when i found out it was a whole community for support and centered around being physically disabled in general and slowly came to terms with my own disabled body and started accepting myself, i kinda fell in love with cripplepunk in the "this feels like home" sense.

i could probably ramble way more but i'll stop there.

5. if you deal with any kind of pain, what's your method of pain management?

i use hot packs, ice packs, voltaren cream, sometimes i take a cbd gummy, i do little stretches when i remember them, i take walks and hot baths/showers, im trying to go back to the chiropractor and my favourite instructors in rehab (theyre trans friendly and complimented my cane when i first came in with it i love them so much), and i take whatever meds i can, normally anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen but because i cant swallow pills i either take liquid (yeah, childs liquid meds works, the couple hours of mild relief is still worth it) or powdered tylenol or something. the hot/cold stuff depends on the pain and where on my body the pain is.

6. do you stand or sit in the shower or do you prefer baths/find bathing easier rather than showers?

i take baths for my muscles and during the damn monthly ouch in order to relax my body. i take showers just for my shoulders and when im feeling icky and wanna rinse off or something, i take showers on a "regular" basis and i normally stand because the only way i sit is if im crouched in the tub and if i do that i get extra dizzy standing up to get out when i turn the water off. thankfully im no longer near passing out when i take a shower but i still have to sit on the floor matt after because my legs demand rest. i gotta be careful with hot water cuz not only will it make me overheat quickly (i will not realize if in standing in blood-boiling hot water and turning myself into a cooked lobster until after im out) but it can also cause me to literally fall asleep in the bath which can go wrong.

7. do you have a sort of comfort item or safety blanket that helps you feel better, especially on the worst days?

a couple things. a few of them are stuffies/plushies, or music, games or books to help me keep my mind off it i suppose.

8. name 3 things you hate about hospitals/doctors/nurses/the medical system

a) a lot of them refuse to take people seriously or actually listen. sure maybe theyre tired or heard the same shtick before and wanna make sure this person isnt just a drug user trying to pity their way into getting more, but even then all matters a patient presents them with should still be taken seriously and never brushed off or mocked.

b) the fact that the er, the place you take a ticket and wait, is called the Emergency Room, when its normally scheduled appointments and people taken in by the ambulance that are top priority. sure its called the er because most visits through the er are rushed "emergency" last minute visits, people going there because they couldnt schedule an appointment and needed to see someone on that day, but still it feels wrong to call it the emergency room when its really just a waiting room and regardless of the visit they arent actually treated as emergencies. the whole system of just going to see a doctor feels messed up and most of the time you end up just going to see a nurse, get a check up and leave when they tell you what they got after a talk and examination or they schedule to see you again when a doctor is available. because of this i tend to prefer walk in clinics.

c) the fact that they charge to damn much, no matter if youre insured, it still charges so much. no matter what they do. and yeah, healthcare in canada is free to an extent if youre insured but a lot of times they charge more than your insurance can cover and not everyone can get/has insurance. not to mention the medical debt so many people have in america. i get that staff and hospitals need pay and funding but the government should have that covered and not have the patients charged so much for getting help. i almost got charged over 3k just for my short visit to the ward because there was an issue with my insurance and thats a whole angry story for another time.

9. whats an accessibility tool you wish was more accessible/that you had access to?

one of them is aac, the one i have on my phone i have to disconnect my phone to and has a limited amount of phrases i can pick from. id like it better if the app or just aac programs in general when directly to your device speaker by default, had more options for more ease conversing and none of them were behind a damn pay wall, in-app purchase or otherwise. i rarely use it for several reasons but i'd love if i could use it more with less limitations.

also wheelchair ramps. i dont have a wheelchair ramp but i wish people stopped walking on them when theyre clearly able-bodied, i wished my parents taught me and my siblings what the ramps were for and not to run up and down them as well as other parents to their kids because those things are supposed to be clear for a wheelchair user. i also think the corners should be rounded for ease of turning and that wheelchair accessible paths in general should be firm to the ground (not a wimpy matt on the sand that flips over and gets buried on the beach unmaintained), maintained and cleaned regularly, not have any gaps (ive seen so many of the small ones installed in doorways that have a height gap above the ground which causes trouble getting the wheelchair on the ramp let alone through the damn door) and not have railings made of metal if theyre outside (they can often reflect light into peoples eyes and get too hot to touch in the sun both of which are not good issues to have no matter how small they seem.)

those are at least the first to come to mind.

10. whats the worst accessability cockblock you've seen ableds do/make?

theres quite a few i've seen but atm nothing significant comes to mind other than overpricing mobility aids or placing paywalls in front of aids in general.

however there was the few times in more than one school i went to you had to go to the office, provide a 'valid' reason and ask them for a key to the elevator, otherwise they make you take the stairs. i know they do it because they dont want able-bodied kids messing with it n shit but its stupid, it should be accessible to everyone regardless. thank fuck both collages ive been to so far give free elevator use to any staff or student but in the schools i went to i was only allowed have the access key because i couldnt walk up the steps on my sprained/twisted ankle and i had to give it back at the end of every day. the last school even limited my use to just the morning or 1-2 periods that i had on the second floor. nevermind if my locker was up there.

11. whats an accessibility tool youre very thankful for?

screen readers. my little brother uses/used em more than me and i dont use them too often but im glad they exist in general i used them when i was younger and my english teachers gave us work on the computer, i used it like an audiobook and it helped me majorly. i hate that people dont always provide translations to things and make things harder on screen readers by using coloured, tiny, non-serif font-ed or 'quirked' text but ever since i was a kid i was just as happy they existed as i was about braille.

12. name 3 things you like about hospitals/docs/nurses/the medical system

a) that there are some people there who are actually hoping, willing and ready to listen and help others.

b) that they provide things for kids like toys in the waiting room, people who specialize in caring for kids in the hospital, some doctors even have their office decorated. one doctor i went to had her entire office winnie the pooh themed and it helped me out a lot when i got blood work done n stuff, it was really comforting to stare at pooh bear instead of the sharp pokey in my arm.

c) that things are usually kept quiet with low voices, as it reduces risk of overstimulation as well as avoids hurting anyones head and protects privacy of those talking about whats going on. voices are usually only raised to a normal talking level when in the privacy of a nurse or doctor office and its something i dont see really acknowledged anywhere.

13. do you have any favourite disability rep? (media or character)

not picking from my own sources, when it comes to physical disability rep, its hard for me to pick something that involves a realistic character because most of them arent very well portrayed or i cant personally relate to. i can list Freddy freeman as one, hes a crutch user and how the shazam movie portrayed him does well in expressing what ableism can be like for some visibly disabled kids in school. i could probably list some shows that handle disability well through other means if i thought of them, i know theres a few that handle it through super heros being disabled (the one spider-person who's got both a wheelchair and a cane from the recent spiderverse movie for example) or non-human characters having differences that are implied to be disabilities, and i adore that creativity, especially with showing disabled super heros as it tells disabled kids theyre still strong, not broken, they can still be cool and do great things just like able-bodied people. hard for me to name specific things off the top of my head though, guess i like specific tropes around disability rep more than anything. it helps normalize disability and thats what really makes me happy with it. (thats a big reason why i made @/your-fave-is-crippled)

14. least favourite/worst disability rep?

not phys disabled but sia's fucked up movie right off the bat still angers me. i cant name any specifics once again, normally if theres some rep that i dont like i purposely forget they exist to begin with, they arent worth remembering if they arent gonna do it right, y'know? id rather forget and move on than linger and rage about it if i can help it.

15. list some creators (youtubers/bloggers etc) that are disabled and/or cater to a disabled audience that you enjoy? (if any)

@crippled-pvp, @cripple-culture-is are a couple blogs i follow that i enjoy seeing on my dash (sorry if you dont want to be tagged!)

there was a deaf/hoh girl i used to frequent the content of as she talks a lot about signing and i really enjoyed her videos, shes such a sweet person but i never remembered her name nor any of the other creators i watched/followed. no one else comes to mind atm

16. favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

i like that there are people with advice at the ready, whatever question you have or info you need etc, theres always going to be someone with the words you need. i just like how helpful people can be in general in this community and how easily support is accessed through the community.

17. least favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

the fact that theres in-fighting, fake claiming, judgment, quick assumptions, and general internalized ableism still going on when we're supposed to be a community helping each other out not tearing each other down. im not just talking about the fight over "inclusion vs exclusion" on cripplepunk and other sub/separate communities in the disability community.

18. favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

i think my answer to "what drew you to cripplepunk" also answers this.

19. least favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

honestly? none. i hate the people forcing themselves into a space not meant to include them nor benefits them in the first place. i cant actually think of an issue i have with the cpunk community, only issues with people outside being upset over how "exclusive" it is because they want in.

20. free space:

feel free to ask me about any of my answers! i'll make a second post for the second ask game some other time. its currently 11pm and i have to get up early for morning classes yuck

[ID: banner reading "dni if... proship, transx/id, syscourse/discourse blog, anti-mspec lesbians/gays, anti-lesboy/turigirl more in pinned rentry. this blog is protected by the addams family, the de rolo family and co." in all black lowercase text. It has a grey cloud background. On the left is the De Rolo coat of arms with a cobweb in the top corner and symmetrically flipped on the right is the symbol of Vox Machina with the same cobweb in the bottom corner :End ID]

[narwhalandchill]

also i completely forgor to watch the hsr stream i hear theres like 37 xianzhou characters coming up? hard to feel that invested in anyone yet without visuals (jiaoqiu is p cute n yunli is w/e to me) but we will see . Please no further xianzhou female character design incidents hoyo

also dunno if its just me coming in completely ootl to watch the trailer just now or if that one was just? incredibly mid lmao it wasnt rly that high intensity or tension to me and rly failed to catch my attention but i could just be low on energy or just uninterested given my uhhhhhh not that favorable opinion on fireflys writing lmao so her being involved at the v beginning that should be the Hook for the trailer kinda had my brain glazing over instead

its actually So unfortunate for me that like. the 2 limited break dps they are doing back to back are just so ehhhhhh to me 😭 like i was xueyi and RM enjoyer Before hatblazer and content catering to the archetype so it feels so tragic that im just not drawn to either one. also ofc firefly RM gets the great 4* (gallagher mostly but also misha copies could be cool) . i mean im gonna go for jade still but i do think ill throw a ten pull or two at firefly (cant do RM bc shes already e1 and e2 is not that good) and like if she spooks early ill take it like personal opinion on her character aside its not like shes not about to be incredibly strong anyway . but i just really want to try to get gallagher e2 for break teams if i can help it and jades 4* lineup Really isnt impressive (e6 on all of em) anyway

i think overall ive just been feeling sorta meh w hsr lately ?? still playing obvi and all esp w how convenient of a morning commute game it is now that im working but none of the new units im mega invested on . jade is cooler kit wise (even Slight blade synergy will Always sell me on an unit id otherwise be more undecided on 💀 jingliu n sparkle moment) but her design outside of the hat and most of the top half of her outfit is still just tragically eh . love the snake and the concept of the whip cane but some of the animations are also just uhhh. bit over the top and im not rly the target audience for this kinda fanservice anyway lmao

but ya still curious to see how it all ends w penacony, i might just be too exhausted to get that hyped myself rn jsjsksksksksk

(also on the ehhh mood w hsr its also that ive kinda just been in more of a genshin appreciator kick recently especially with the waves that shall not be wuthered game . nothing to reignite my love for genshins polish and care more than its tragically rushed "competition" crashing and burning through its launch as u watch . that and natlan teaser and theatre mode and all . ya know. so maybe its just a thing w hsr and genshin investment balancing each other out)

[semiotomatics]

putting my "personal spewage" tag to good use

so this week has been. good. like really good. ive been sleeping so much better (like, ive been able to fall asleep in under 30 minutes for the last 3 nights!! and have stayed asleep for 10 solid hours every night!! thats unprecedented!!!) and feeling less stressed (still stressed, but less stressed) and have had more energy (tho that could just be the coffee ive been drinking lol) and just generally feeling good. like, i had an idk ~a ha moment the other day where i realized theres a difference between my mood and my function. bc, altho historically both my mood and my function have been low, lately only my function has been low. and it still is, im still struggling to do even basic self-care/body maintenance/just general life tasks, but ive been getting better at it (ive eaten at least one full meal a day! i brushed my teeth for no other reason than because i knew i needed to!) and not wanting to die has really helped with that. it still feels way too early to declare a victory and i have major stressors on the horizon that im waiting to see how they will affect me, cause im kind of in a stressor lull right now (money's okay, family's okay, work's okay, etc) which i keep thinking is why im feeling relatively okay, but still. i feel okay. thats amazing. tho its also kinda terrifying and i keep thinking "oh god i feel okay does that mean i have to go back to work what if i freak out again what if i cant handle it" etc etc but like. i keep reminding myself i dont have to go back to work until im legitimately ready to go back, no ones going to force me to go back when im not ready to, and im hoping to go back part-time anyway so that its easier on me, which will help, so. yeah. hopefully it'll be okay.

but anyway, im just so excited at some of the thoughts and feelings ive had recently. mental illness is so good at making you forget what it feels like to be happy and healthy and alive and in love with the world. i had been stuck in that dark cloud for so long, and i still don't feel like the skies are totally clear, but im seeing hints of blue through the grey and its amazing. i want to love being alive. i want to look forward to my future. i want to be happy. i really really hope this lasts and i get to just be happy.