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lovelookspretty · 1 month ago

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lover of mine

drew starkey x actress!reader au

— in which drew and y/n, secretly exes, must fake date in order to keep the peace at a mutual friend’s wedding, but the forced proximity makes them question whether they ever truly moved on.

warnings: FLASHBACK TIME !!!!!

authors note: guys ive lowkey been picturing things as i would direct them in a film or music video so 😭 if my writing angle feels off then thats why. but i hoped u enjoyed anyway !! if u still arent on the tag list, feel free to let me know thru replies, anons, or dms !! notifications are always on <33

you stepped out of the sleek black car, your heels clicking against the pavement as you’re greeted by a wall of flashing lights and the low hum of the press. the red carpet at the love, simon premiere was buzzing with excitement, packed with celebrities and industry professionals.

this wasn’t your first time walking a carpet, but it was different tonight—there was something in the air, an energy you couldn’t quite place, but it felt like just another event to get through.

you paused in front of the photographers, striking a few effortless poses. to everyone else, you looked like you were in your element—smiling, waving, and giving the cameras exactly what they wanted.

but inside, you were already thinking about when you could leave. you were there because the director was an old colleague from your recent work on tempest, your breakout role. it was your agent’s idea to make an appearance, to be seen and keep your name in the buzz, but you hadn’t really planned to stay long. just the premiere, maybe the afterparty, and then home.

as you moved down the carpet, a journalist caught your attention. “y/n, over here! a quick word?”

you nodded, stepping toward the microphone with a gracious smile. the flashing bulbs intensified as you answered questions about your latest projects, your outfit for the night, and how excited you were to see the film.

“you’ve been busy with tempest—how’s that going?” one interviewer asked.

you offered a polite smile. “it’s been great. we’re still filming season two, so it’s been pretty nonstop, but i’m thrilled to be here tonight to support this movie. i’ve heard such good things about love, simon.”

you kept your responses short but engaging, giving just enough without going too deep. after a few more quick exchanges, you excused yourself, nodding to your team as you made your way inside.

the grand theater lobby was filled with more celebrities and industry insiders, everyone dressed to the nines and mingling, but you were already scanning the room for a drink. maybe a glass of champagne woule make the night pass quicker.

your mind was preoccupied, already drifting toward the idea of heading inside early, when you felt yourself bump into someone. you glanced up, ready to offer a quick apology, but the words froze in your throat the second your eyes locked with his.

he was tall—taller than you expected—with broad shoulders, and his hair was just slightly tousled like he’d been running his hands through it all night. he’s startled at first, like he wasn’t paying attention either, but the moment his gaze met yours, there’s a flicker of something you couldn’t quite place. maybe recognition. maybe awe.

his lips parted slightly, as if he’s about to say something, but he didn’t. instead, he just stared, clearly a little stunned. for a second, you felt like the noise of the room faded into the background, like it was just the two of you standing there.

“sorry about that,” you said first, stepping aside to give him room, your voice casual despite the strange pull you felt from his gaze.

he blinked, shaking his head quickly. “no, no, it’s my fault. wasn’t paying attention.” he rubbed the back of his neck, clearly flustered, and then finally added, “i’m drew, by the way. starkey— drew starkey.”

there was something familiar about the name, but it didn’f immediately click. “nice to meet you, drew,” you replied with a small smile. you glanced past him, ready to move on, but he didn’t make it easy. he was still looking at you, like he was trying to memorize your face, like he’d just seen something—someone—he didn’t want to forget.

“you’re—” he began, but then cut himself off, a little embarrassed. “i mean, i know who you are.”

you raised an eyebrow, curious now. “oh yeah?”

he nodded quickly. “yeah, you’re amazing on tempest. my sisters are obsessed with the show, but i started watching it, too, and— yeah, you’re great.”

his words tumbled out fast and you couldn’t help but be a little charmed by how genuine he sounded. he wasn’t smooth like some of the other people you’d met that night—he wasn’t trying to impress you with industry talk or big names. he was just . . . honest.

“well, thank you,” you said, feeling your cheeks warm a little. “that means a lot.”

there was a brief pause, and you could see him struggling for what to say next. the thing was, it wasn’t awkward—it was kind of endearing. finally, he let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck again. “sorry, i didn’t mean to fangirl or anything.”

you laughed softly, shaking your head. “don’t worry, you’re fine.”

he was still standing there, not moving away, and for some reason, you didn’t feel like walking off either. maybe it was the way he was looking at you, like he couldn’t believe he was even talking to you. it’s a look you’d seen before, but it felt different coming from him. there’s no agenda behind it. just . . . admiration.

“so,” you started, trying to keep the conversation going, “what brings you to the premiere?”

he blinked, like he’d forgotten why he was even there. “oh, uh, i’m actually in the movie.”

and that was when it clicked. drew starkey. you heard the name before, seen it in casting lists, but seeing him in person, you hadn’t put it together until now.

“right,” you said, nodding slowly. “that’s why you looked familiar.”

he chuckled softly, but there was still that slight blush on his cheeks. “yeah, that’s me.”

the conversation flowed a little easier after that. you asked him about the movie, and he asked you more about tempest, genuinely interested in your work, not just going through the motions like so many others do at those events. he was funny, too, in a shy, unassuming way that caught you off guard.

as the crowd around you thickened, his eyes never left yours, like he was completely captivated. you weren’t sure how long you stood there talking, but it was long enough for you to forget about slipping out early.

and then, before you knew it, the lights were dimming, signaling that the movie was about to start. he glanced toward the theater doors, then back at you, almost hesitant.

“well, i guess we should head in,” he said, sounding a little disappointed that your conversation was being cut short.

“yeah,” you agreed, though part of you didn’t want the night to end either. as you both moved toward the entrance, something pulled at you to say more, to affirm the spark that had ignited between you. you abruptly stopped in your tracks. he turned to face you, curiosity sparking in his eyes.

“i’ll catch you at the afterparty?” you told him, your voice light and teasing. you watched his face break into a genuine smile, the kind that made his entire demeanor shift from nervous to gleeful.

with that, you turned and headed toward the theater doors, the buzz of chatter and laughter enveloping you. you could feel drew’s gaze lingering on you as you walked away.

you knew you weren’t on the cast so it would have been unexpected if you showed up. but you knew that he’d be there.

as you navigated through the crowd, you couldn’t help but glance back one last time, and in that instant, you caught drew watching you, his expression soft and hopeful. a faint smile tugged at your lips, and finally, you disappeared into the crowds of guests entering the theater, but the memory of his gaze stayed with you.

the afterparty was a vibrant swirl of lights and laughter, complete opposite to the behavior of the premiere just hours ago. you stood with leila, theo, and gia, the four of you navigating the home.

after a few minutes, you spotted him across the room, laughter dancing in his eyes as he talked to a small group. you excused yourself from your own conversation, weaving through the crowd until you found yourself standing beside him.

and soon, time seemed to slip away as you both dived into deeper conversations about your lives, your careers, and the dreams you’d harbored since childhood. drew opened up about his recent experiences filming, and you found yourself sharing the struggles and triumphs of your own journey in the film industry. every moment spent together felt natural, as if you’d known each other for much longer than just a few hours.

by the end of the night, the party winder down and guests began to trickle out. you exchanged numbers, both of you eager to see each other again. and you did. time and time again.

you paced around your apartment as you gestured animatedly. throwing your hands in the air, your eyes widened with passion, as if you were trying to grasp an idea that was just out of reach. drew leaned back against the counter, arms crossed, watching you intently with a soft smile playing on his lips.

“i just wanna have some time to go out there and have some fun,” you were telling him, “be there in the moment, explore la. not with any paparazzi there to demand photos of me or take them when i have my guard down. just me and the city.”

as you spoke, your gaze shifted toward the window, where the sun peeked through the window across your living room. you imagined yourself outside, feeling the sun on your skin, surrounded by the pulse of los angeles.

spinning around quickly, your face lit up like you’d just had a revelation. “like starstruck!”

“starstruck?” drew echoed as he squinted his eyes, trying to grasp your idea.

“yeah, you know that one movie on disney? christopher and jessica are running around los angeles in that one scene—” you continued.

“—before they get their car caught in that mud and christopher ditches her at the beach,” he interjected with furrowed brows, knowing full well how the scene played out.

you stopped abruptly, narrowing your eyes at him. you tilted your head, “you wouldn’t ditch me, would you, star?”

drew shook his head, “no way.”

satisfied with his answer, your expression brightened again, and you nodded vigorously. “good. then come on.”

you grabbed your keys from the table and practically dragged him out of your apartment. the door clicked shut behind you, and you led the way down the corridor.

as you made your way into the parking garage, your laughter rung out, echoing off the concrete walls. when you reached your car, you slid in and grabbed your sunglasses from its compartment to slide them on.

drew chuckled as he put his seatbelt on, shaking his head in disbelief. “you really have a plan for everything, don’t you?”

“only when it comes to having fun,” you replied, your grin widening as you pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head to shield his face. “don’t worry, they’ll never see us coming,” you assured him, your laughter infectious as you started the engine and pulled out of the parking garage.

and over the course of a year, you and drew became inseparable. what started as stolen moments during movie premieres and secret hangouts morphed into a deep, unshakeable friendship.

laughter echoed in your shared memories—late-night talks sprawled on the floor of your apartment, spontaneous adventures through the streets of los angeles, and lazy mornings spent in bed, wrapped up in each other's warmth.

as the seasons shifted, so did the nature of your connection. the boundaries blurred, and your heart raced at the thought of what could be. but you both chose to keep it light, enjoying each moment without the weight of labels.

then one evening, everything changed. it was a night like any other. the winter air was crisp as you and drew strolled through the twinkling streets of los angeles. you were coming back from a cozy evening out, the laughter still lingering between you as you recounted the highlights of the night.

as you walked, the sound of distant pops drawed your attention. you paused mid-sentence, eyes widening as bursts of color lit up the night sky. fireworks!

the brilliant reds, blues, whites, and purples filled the air. a smile spread across your face as you turned to him, the shared excitement pulling you closer together.

“this is so cute,” you said, leaning into drew’s side to admire the display. you were momentarily lost in the beauty, the chaos of colors exploding above you like confetti.

but then you spotted something in the midst of the fireworks—words began to form in the night sky, each letter crafted from the brilliant light.

‘will you be my girlfriend?’ the phrase appeared among the colors, messy yet somehow legible.

you read it, confusion washing over you at first. someone was asking someone else through fireworks? but as you turned to drew, you noticed his gaze, expectant and hopeful. the realization quickly sunk in.

your mouth gaped open in shock, your heart pounding as you processed what was happening. you looked back up at the sky, needing to confirm that this moment was real, that the words were genuinely meant for you.

but you turned back to drew, and without thinking, you nodded. before you knee it, you were jumping into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck, and holding him tightly. he caught you effortlessly, and you could feel his warmth seep into you as he hugged you back, pulling you close.

you could feel the happiness reflected there, and for the first time, it felt official—no more questions, no more uncertainty. you were exactly where you wanted to be.

and just two years later, you and drew found yourselves on the set of hellraiser, a project neither of you anticipated becoming a part of when you first met. it’s actually funny how it all unfolded.

initially, you weren’t even considering taking the role. after all, you were still knee-deep in filming tempest. the thought of juggling both projects seemed overwhelming, and you were ready to prioritize your current work over anything new.

when drew secured his role in some film, he kept the details to himself, not wanting to distract you from your current commitments. he didn’t mention the movie by name, and you didn’t press him for details; you respected his space and didn’t want to add to your own frustration about whether to accept the new opportunity.

“you should really consider it,” he urged, his voice filled with genuine belief in your talent. “this could be a great chance for you, babe, and imagine how much fun you could have! you’re almost done finishing tempest this month. after that, you’ll have plenty of time for your new project.”

you weighed his words, feeling torn. you loved the idea of the role, but the reality of juggling two major projects felt daunting.

yet, after a long talk about chasing new opportunities and taking risks, you found yourself swayed by his excitement and your own desire for growth. finally, you decided to go for it, officially signing on for the project.

what you didn’t realize, until the casting announcements were made, was that you and drew would be filming in the same movie. when you heard the news, you actually went insane. you felt like the universe was rewarding you for taking that leap of faith. the two of you would not only be working together but doing so on a film that promised to be both challenging and thrilling.

as filming began, the reality of being on set with drew hit you both like a wave. the two of you were navigating the intricate dance of being both co-stars and romantic partners, which brought its own set of challenges.

you found joy in the little things—the shared lunches, the whispered jokes during scenes, and the late-night talks about the original film. every day, you felt grateful to have him by your side, knowing that while the world outside the set may have been chaotic, your little bubble was filled with warmth, support, and your boyfriend. not everyone was able to be in your position.

but it wasn’t the same anymore. at least a year later. you were in another city, staying in yet another hotel room, the kind where the silence hung heavy in the air, almost suffocating. the glow of the city lights outside filtered through the curtains, casting a soft haze over everything.

you rested your back against the cool surface of the wall as you stared out into the city through the window. it was strange—the city was vibrant, loud, yet all you felt was isolation. your reflection stared back at you, tired eyes searching for something, anything, to hold on to.

you let yourself imagine drew standing beside you, his arm slipping around your waist, the warmth of his presence easing the ache that had settled deep inside.

but it was just a fantasy. he wasn’t there. not really. not the way you needed him to be.

he was somewhere else, in another city, on another set. networking. working. living his own life. you both were—careers that had taken off in opposite directions, always moving, always busy, always apart. your schedules were like puzzle pieces that didn’t quite fit together anymore, no matter how hard you tried to force them.

sometimes he would surprise you, show up in whatever city you were in, standing at your door with that smile that used to make your heart race. but even then, it wasn’t enough. when he was there, it felt like you were lying next to a stranger, like everything you shared before felt like a distant memory.

your mind wandered as you stared out the window, trying to remember what it used to be like. the way you used to laugh together, the way he used to look at you like you were the only person in the world. but those moments felt so far away now, like they belonged to another lifetime. your careers were taking off, yes, but your relationship was falling apart.

you tried everything to get him to spend more time with you. it wasn’t just the long phone calls or the quiet hopes you'd whisper when he promised he’d visit, but you actually took action.

you started reaching out to his manager, a move that felt so cold, so far removed from the days when it was just you and him figuring things out together. now, it was emails and calls, hoping to align your schedules like some kind of business transaction.

you’d ask if there was a window, any gap at all, where you could see each other, trying to make sense of his packed days and your own commitments. it felt impersonal, like you were just another appointment penciled into his calendar, waiting to be confirmed.

there were weeks when you’d sit down with your team, trying to move things around, freeing up your time in the hope that his manager would find a slot that worked. you bent over backward, squeezing your own projects tighter so maybe, just maybe, you’d have a few days together. but it always ended the same.

another ‘maybe next time’ or a polite suggestion from his side to ‘keep him updated’—as if he wasn’t even aware of how much you were trying to hold everything together.

what shattered you was seeing him with his costars. scrolling through social media and seeing him hanging out with them after long days on set. grabbing dinner with them, laughing with them, being the drew you used to know—but never like that with you anymore.

he made time for them, he’d pay them visits, go out for drinks, be himself. but not with you. why not with you?

you couldn’t understand it. and that was the worst part. you weren’t jealous of his work or his friends, but it hurt seeing him give them what you so desperately wanted. time. effort. attention. those small moments of connection.

you tried bringing other people into the mix, hoping it would be less pressure for him. leila and theo became your go-to when you were feeling desperate. you’d invite them out, framing it like a casual group hang, knowing that maybe if drew wasn’t faced with just you, he’d be more likely to show up.

you thought maybe he'd feel less cornered, less pressured. and so you'd reach out, asking leila to join you and casually suggesting that maybe drew could come along too. a movie, dinner, anything. you tried to make it seem easy, no big deal.

but he never gave a direct answer. it was always a dance—drew would respond with something vague, something about being busy, or how he’d love to but he wasn’t sure, and he’d get back to you. he’d redirect the conversation, shifting topics before you even realized what had happened. it wasn’t malicious, but it left you feeling hollow, like he wasn’t even aware of how long he’d been doing it, how much he’d been dodging your efforts to pull him closer.

and you couldn’t help but feel bad, feel like you were trying so hard for someone who wasn’t even putting in half as much as you were. it wasn’t like he didn’t care—he was just so wrapped up in his own world, his work, that he didn’t see how hard you were fighting to keep your relationship alive.

you were trying to reach him, but it felt like he was always just out of reach, just beyond the point where you could hold on.

it wasn’t anger you felt toward him, but this deep, aching sadness. because no matter what you tried, it felt like you were the only one trying at all—did he even like you anymore?

and then suddenly, it snapped.

like a taut string pulled too tight for too long, it finally gave way. all the moments you fought so hard for, the endless nights spent hoping, came crashing down in an instant. his words weren’t loud or angry; they were quiet, almost too calm. it was like the end had been sitting between you both for months, waiting to be spoken into existence.

“what?”

your voice was small, a cracked whisper filled with disbelief. you’d heard him—of course, you’d heard him—but it felt so unreal. your heart ached, like it was physically breaking apart, but your mind couldn’t fully process it. it felt like you were standing outside of yourself, watching this unfold, wondering if this was really happening.

“why?” you managed, your voice barely holding together as your eyes searched his face for something, anything that would make sense of this. you saw his regret, the sadness behind his eyes, but there was no answer that would make this hurt any less. his lips parted like he wanted to explain, but there were no words to fix this.

he reached for you, like he thought he could make it better somehow, but you took a step back, your hand instinctively wiping away the tear you didn’t even realize had fallen.

all the effort, all the time you had spent trying to make things work, fighting for what you thought was love—it felt like it had all been wasted. your chest tightened as you stared at him, the silence between you thick and unbearable.

“get away from me,” you whispered, your voice stronger now, though your heart was shattering inside. you waved him off, refusing to let him touch you, refusing to let him see you break any more than you already had.

he hesitated, his hands dropping to his sides as the distance between you widened, both physically and emotionally. it wasn’t just the breakup that hurt—it was everything. all the time you’d given, all the compromises, all the moments you’d spent wishing for more.

you turned around, not wanting him to see the fresh tears that blurred your vision, not wanting him to see how deeply this cut. it wasn’t just about losing him; it was about losing the version of yourself that had believed, that had hoped for something different. something better.

“good luck on everything, drew.”

the words left your mouth before you could stop them, bitter and sharp. it felt like a punch to your own chest, but you had to say it. you had to remind yourself that maybe his career was the priority now, not you. and you needed to remind him of that, too.

even as your throat tightened, and your body threatened to break down entirely, you forced yourself to keep walking.

you didn’t look back. not when the tears started falling faster, not when your hands shook as you unlocked your car door, not even when you could feel his eyes on you, burning into your back like a weight you didn’t want to carry anymore.

the sobs finally broke free once you were inside, gripping the steering wheel so hard your knuckles turned white. he didn’t chase after you, didn’t say another word. he just watched you leave, and that somehow hurt more than anything else.

as you drove away, tears streaming down your face, the weight of it all finally settled in. you didn’t want to hear his excuses, didn’t want to hear whatever reason he thought justified this. you just wanted to go home, to get away from the pain that now felt too familiar, and to leave behind the pieces of your heart that had shattered at his feet.

and just like that, the year of silence between you began.

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unitato722 · 23 days ago

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hiii ive just read ur most recent post and holy shit you write good smut😭🙏 if youre taking requests could you do thigh riding donnie? PLSSDSJDKSK

Hey hun, I'm glad you enjoy my posts! I can 100% write my favorite beanpole for you.

Minors DNI

Donnie had been working lately, but then what was new? You knew going into the relationship, and even before that, that there would be times when you wouldn't see him for weeks. You had been waiting to see your lovable dork of a man for two weeks, pushing three, and while you normally wouldn't have minded, you had an issue.

You'd been laying in bed that night fantasizing about all these different scenarios in your head. Before you knew it your shorts were discarded and your favorite toy was shoved inside of you as you worked desperately to get off. But you couldn't.

Tears of frustration were coursing down your face hours later as your arm started to lose feeling from moving the toy inside of you, yet you still weren't able to cum. Was it because you and Donnie had been getting intimate recently? The memory of it causes fresh tears and a new wave of wetness between your thighs.

It seemed as if you were unable to get off by yourself, which only meant one thing...

You walked into the lair a few hours later in a sour mood. You scared Mikey half to death as he came around the corner with a plate of nachos, nearly throwing them in the air. "Holy shit dude! You scared the crap out of me!" He exclaimed as he clutched his chest with one hand and the nacho plate in the other. "What are you doing here at this time? It's like 1 am."

You rolled your eyes as you nudged your way past him. "Just had a bad day. I came to see if Donnie had emerged from his lair yet," you admitted.

As if on cue, a hollow crashing sound came from the lab. You bolted towards the door and yanked it open to reveal Donnie who was sitting in his rolly chair with his head in one of his hands. He looked drained, like he hadn't slept in days, and he probably hadn't. On the floor were two plastic cups in a puddle of what smelled like old coffee.

You approached your boyfriend and put a soft hand to his face. "Are you ok?" You asked as you looked him over.

"Yeah," Donnie breathed out in response. "I think I'm finished, but the final product needs to sit for 48 hours so I figured I'd get a nap in." He stared hopelessly at the cups on the floor again, looking for all the world like he was completely drained of any and all energy.

Luckily you were used to this, and you hurried over to the clean up station to get a wet rag. You could tell that the turtle wanted to protest but he couldn't bring himself to scold you for it either. He watched as you cleaned up the spill and washed your hands before coming to stand in front of him.

"You look exhausted," you nite softly.

"I feel exhausted."

A beat of silence passes as you look into each other's eyes. Finally, Donnie pulls you closer until you're sitting on his lap and gives your forehead a kiss. "Thanks for cleaning up for me sweetheart, you didn't have to do that."

You silence him with a peck on the lips. "Of course I do, you can barely stand," you retort. You take a moment to give him a slow, passionate kiss and you can feel all the tension rush out of his body as he melts into it. Once you break apart you stand, grabbing his hand to lead him to the bed he kept at the back of his lab. Your purple turtle boyfriend collapses onto the mattress with a groan and you giggle.

You shift your legs as you watch him lay against the bed, body all lean muscle and sculpted abs. As Donnie sits himself up against the headboard he groans again, this time low in his chest. "Fuck babe, I can smell you from over here," he eyes you, still at the foot of the bed and gestures for you to come closer. "Do you really like me that much?"

It's said teasingly, but as you crawl up the bed you can't help but nod. "I'm sorry, I can't help it. You're just... So attractive," you admit with a blush.

Donnie's cheeks heat at the compliment, not used to receiving such praises. He chuckles and lets one hand come to caress your face, churning when you lean into the touch lovingly. "If I had any energy left I'd ravish you."

You smile. "There will be time for that later," you insist, but Donnie shakes his head.

"Oh no, I can see that your pent up. Just look at you," he coos. "So needy aren't you? Why don't you show me how much you need it?"

The words hang heavy in the air for less than a moment before you're crawling onto his lap to straddle one of his large legs. You whimper as the large thigh beneath you flexes and Donnie lets out a hiss. "Holy fuck, I can feel you soaking through my pants," he groans out as his hands find your hips.

All you can do is moan in response to the friction. When your boyfriend tugs at your pants you're quick to strip them off, along with your underwear, before returning to your seat.

Donnie groans as you grind against his leg with fervor, heat building in you like it had earlier, although this time you were determined to see it through. So lost in finding that pleasure you were that you didn't see the turtle beneath you staring at the lewd wet patch you were making on his pants. If he wasn't so drained he would have teased you, maybe even edged you before taking you here on this mattress. But right now he was entirely focused on your pleasure.

A bounce of his leg has you gasping and clutching at his shoulders for some semblance of stability. "F-fuck," you pant out, "it f-feels so good~"

The steady up and down of his leg paired with the way his hands were moving your hips down had you seeing stars. Had you been more aware you might have been embarrassed about how easily your man was drawing sounds out of you with just his leg. But here you were, gasping and crying out as that string pulled tighter and tighter.

A hand found your face and moved it so that you were looking right into the eyes of your lover, and it caused you to topple over the edge. Donnie's eyes held a fire even through the exhaustion. The way he looked at you was thirsty and desperate, like he couldn't bear to look away from you. "God I'm so lucky," he whispered before pulling you down into a kiss as your high washed over you.

You moaned into Donnie's mouth as you fell apart on top of him before collapsing into his arms. A low noise caused you to look up at your lover, only to find him staring heatedly at the large wet patch you had left on his leg. Your cheeks heated as you dug your face into his chest in shame. "I'm so sorry Donnie, I-" you're cut off by his lips.

"Don't you dare apologize. That's the hottest thing I've ever fucking seen."

Too tired to change into new sweats he simply pulls you down to lay with him on the bed as he begins to doze off. "Don't get too comfortable now baby. Once I wake up I'm going to fuck you until you can't walk straight," he growls into your ear before nuzzling into your neck.

God you couldn't wait.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #donnie #tmnt #tmnt smut #tmnt x reader #donnie x reader #donnie x reader smut #this was lowkey rushes but i hope you enjoy it #i love my sleep deprived man

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theninthdoor · 7 months ago

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Hi! I know you did this a while back but I wonder if the rankings have changed? : Based on tarot which kpop group would you say is the closest? Out of aespa, Le sserafim, itzy, Ive, nwjns, gidle, stay c

aespa || the hanged man rx: I feel like they go through waves of being really close vs giving each other some space. It's all pretty natural, and depends on their schedules, interests at the moment, what they're going through in their personal lives, etc.

LE SSERAFIM || ace of pentacles, king of wands rx: They are actually pretty close, I believe - at least right now. With the KoW rx coming out as the clarifier, I think this might have something to do with their recent experiences + challenges as a group. Previously they might've been a little more distant and out-of-sync, and because that started to affect their group's performance so strongly and visibly, the members must've now decided to make an effort to become closer to one another.

Itzy || six of cups rx: This is very similar to aespa's situation! - they go through waves.

IVE || the devil rx: This honestly reads as them choosing not to be too close right now in order to keep the peace. There are a couple of unresolved issues with them that only seem to get worse when they spend too much time together, or allow themselves to become too vulnerable with/around one another. The girls themselves, I think, need to do some personal growth, and only then can they function better as a group (personally, specially).

(G)I-dle || nine of pentacles: To me this feels very much like "old friends who tell each other everything, but can go weeks or months without talking", you know? It's a low maintance type of partnership/friendship, but still close and strong.

NewJeans || ace of swords, the magician rx: Not all members are close (personally), but still, the group as a whole is very much in sync and they all understand each other perfectly. It's funny because I actually feel like they have chosen to keep some distance between themselves outside of schedules? Like, it reads as a "never mix business with pleasure" type of thing; "keep your professional lives and personal lives separate".

StayC || knight of wands rx: I think some members have built pretty strong friendships here, and the whole group is close to a certain degree. However, I don't really see them considering themselves "close friends", for some reason.

(Disclaimer: All is alleged and for entertainment purposes only. Based on current energies.)

#tqqitzy #tqqaespa #tqqgidle #tqqstayc #tqqnewjeans #tqqive #tqqlesserafim #itzy tarot #le sserafim tarot #stayc tarot #newjeans tarot #aespa tarot

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hdra77 · 2 months ago

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I wish i have enough time to draw more sorry for the lack of art these days :( i really want to draw but grgrgrr college

I have a new oc ive been wanting to share it with you guys though ^^ really dislike her recent design so might aswell make it better + put more effort into it when i have the time (oh and also some two new slugcat ocs ill share them soon)

But i also have commissions to finish so all of these plans are starting to stress me out 😭 my energy working on comms are really low atm but ill still get them done either way !! Just, need some time to draw for myself too maybe hopefully i would get all that motivation back

#fishbites.txt

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y0d00p · 2 years ago

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why did dmk turn kirby into 4 kirby?

idk how to articulate this idea succinctly in words but

elaborate headcanons for 19 year old game ahead

ive been diving more into amazing mirror era headcanons in regards to dmk and his relationship with dark mind. here's my thoughts

due to previous/recent events dmk is in a weak and highly negative state of mind, which is ideal for an entity like dark mind to take control over

sddd is ??? (idk) and sk is immune/in hiding from dark mind, leaving dmk (low mental fortitude, full of negative energy, strong, wielding a powerful artifact) as PRIME henchman material

he wasn't a complete puppet, dmk still had some semblance of free will, dark mind's influence basically lowered his inhibitions + increased his anger/aggression + clouded everything else

(dmk's sword, having its own "YES!! KILL!!!!" influence that dmk has built a tolerance to otherwise, exacerbated this)

so dmk is like a really fuckin pissed off dog and dark mind was basically just pointing him at things to take out his aggression on

(the strength of the influence fluctuated, and dark mind was never able to get dmk to attack sk)

mk and kirby were the main targets, he was able to take down mk, but basically kirby is out of his league lmao. his attack on kirby was genuine, but all he managed to do was fracture them

(dmk uses/knows powerful mirror magic. mirrors = glass, light. his swords acts as a conduit/"wand" for the (glass, light) powers. see image. idk)

my headcanon is that the red, green, and yellow kirby specific to amazing mirror were extensions of kirby (a la mass attack) and were probably absorbed back into him when they returned to dreamland. keeby etc may still exist but did not originate from dmk's attack

he does feel bad about his behaviour during that time. his apology to kirby was very gruff but kirby knew he meant it :)

#kirby #dark meta knight

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bunnypansy · 1 year ago

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Twst as K-Pop Groups!

Rated E, for EVERYONE!

A short film exploring a Twisted Wonderland Idol AU!

Featuring: All the dorms + Che'nya and a Neige mention

Beware! This film contains: really bad kpop group names, smoking mention, otherwise I think it's fine

Heartslaybul

Group name: LVBZ (Luver Boyz), I wanted to lean into the heart theme for that classic boygroup feel

Fandom name: Rozes, for obvious reasons

While Riddle is the obvious answer for leader, Trey is the right answer. Responsible older brother Trey is probably deeply underappreciated in the group. I feel like he’s probably been in a group that disbanded early before, (cough, Che’nya, Trey, Riddle group anyone?) and has a bit of a tired vibe. He writes a good handful of the songs since he plays the guitar, but he’s actually not crazy about pop. They definitely share a dorm and Trey made a chore chart for them.

Riddle is definitely taking the position of vocalist and center, he’s probably really strict about his training and exercise, he was a trainee for a loooong time and after his last group he’s kinda nervous. His mom used to be a very popular vocalist, but you’ll never catch him with nepo baby claims because he’s so intense. Besides LVBZ Riddle also does some modeling on the side and will probably end up in a drama of some kind.

Cater is absolutely giving “has so many predebut photos” energy. From vlives, to vlogs, cooking videos, asmr videos, tiktoks, instagram posts, Cater is all over their social media like crazy. He’s got a pretty good public image, always interacting with fans, the only thing is- he's a chronic content farmer, it's like so bad guys. At least his aegyo is actually cute? He’s the face and probably a sub vocalist of some kind, but definitely writes the lot of their songs. Seems like the type who has a very good image but chainsmokes/vapes on the side.

RAPPER DEUCE. Okay normal again. But he totally fits the rapper vibes, I can’t stress how well it fits. Has the most embarrassing predebut photos known to man, lots of him with badly dyed hair and he probably had a bullying scandal really early into his career. Extremely awkward aegyo, fans love him cus he comes off as cute but very genuine, fan favorite.

At this point I’ve put all the basketball boys as dancers but can you blame me? Ace reeks of high energy dancer who kinda sucks ass at singing. He tries really, but just let him be the main dancer and a sub rapper! Ace and Deuce used to go to the same highschool predebut and did not get along. Don't leave this guy alone with fans, not because he's going to do anything criminal- he's just gonna say some dumb shit. Spill a secret, be generally kinda dickish- just. Don't do it, fanservice is not Ace’s strong suit

Their discography is kinda all over the place but I feel like that’s the Heartslaybul vibe? I tried to keep it light and sort of… classic boy group vibes. I'm not really into light concept boy groups so this was difficult for me. (I wrote this before I listened to zb1’s debut. They are zb1)

Debut song: Kitsch by IVE

Other tracks: In Bloom by Zb1; Very Nice by Seventeen; Attention by New Jeans; Sour Grapes by Lesserafim; Blue Flame by Lesserafim; Best Friend Ever by NCT Dream

Solo releases: One and Only by Gowon of Loona (Riddle); Anti-romantic by TXT (Trey)

Savanaclaw

Group name: BxB (Boy X Beast), I swear I wasn’t trying to copy TXT that hard

Fandom name: BOB (Be Our Best), because fans “make them their best”. It’s so bad but this is intentional

Leona is the leader but honestly he doesn’t do much to corral anyone. He’s definitely been in a couple groups that have done very poorly and can’t stop getting compared to his more successful brother- a recently retired soloist. Worse, he gets tons of “he’s a lazy dancer” and “nepo baby” comments from fans. He’s a bit jaded, and for good reason. He’s not much of a dancer, moreso acting as the visual and vocalist in his group and chances are he’s done an acting gig or two. Leona does a lot of low energy vlives, it's like him eating fried chicken in the dark while barely talking on camera. Refuses to do any cutesy fanservice, ask him to look hot? Done and done. Aegyo? Ask Ruggie.

Ruggie is the face of the group, everyone on the planet has seen him busking before and during his trainee period, not to mention he’s funny, fans love him. He’s also carrying the rapper position, and often gets center, but he and Leona are honestly neck and neck in that area. Ruggie's pretty good aegyo but he literally always laughs afterwards. So many memes of the dumb faces he makes while laughing.

Jack iiiis the dancer, so many first years were subjected to dancer and rapper sorry guys. He’s tried to write songs but only a couple have really panned out- the others are encouraging though! Obviously maknae, endless jokes about being GIANT despite being the youngest. Somehow he seems to take this the most serious despite being the newest to this?

Their sound is very classically masculine, as is Savanaclaw’s vibe. If they barked in the song I legally had to add it

Debut song: Clap by Seventeen

Other Tracks: Superbowl by SKZ; Wonderland by ATEEZ; Wolfgang by SKZ (sorry it was too funny not to); (Grrr 총량의 법칙) BEWARE by SKZ; My Pace by SKZ; Boxer by SKZ; Bouncy by ATEEZ

Solo releases: None

Octavinelle

Group name: TYDE (“Take Your Dreams Everywhere”), I went the EXiD route with this one, it was a little too funny not to

Fandom name: Tied, because TYDE is tied to them

Oh my god. Despite being my favorite dorm, Octavinelle gave me a fuckin hell of a time to put together, I just did not have a clear vision for them at all. I’m going with Azul, even though I considered leader Jade for a little bit, simply because I think Azul is the kind of leader who designs a bunch of merch for the fans- a la the VIXX thong. He’s rocking with the visual, center, and vocalist position. He comes off as a very smooth and self assured leader, but let’s be honest he’s the only one in the group who’s having a panic attack before award shows. I think he probably had a really hard time as a trainee and can’t let that go just yet.

Jade doesn’t get any kind of strong spot in the lineup somehow, despite there only being three members, he definitely ends up a bit in the background. But Jade doesn’t mind! He honestly doesn’t care much for the spotlight and is mostly here because Azul and Floyd are. He writes all the songs for their group, no arguments.

So we all know Floyd is the dancer, guy canonically loves dancing, but he’s also going to steal the rapper position. This is because rappers are always the weird ones in the group, and by god is Floyd the weird one. He always gets styled extremely strangely, I mean every time he steps on stage he ends up in a new “worst outfits in kpop” list. Floyd ends up being the face because he’s such a standout, not to mention the fact he keeps… showing up with other groups. Is there a vlive happening? Somehow Floyd interrupts. Another group practicing? Not without Floyd they’re not. He’s even managed to be in the background of several MVs (think OOH-AHH Chan). Floyd seems to just know everyone everywhere.

Holy hell okay their music gave me a hard time too. Octavinelle is so solidified as jazz in my head that trying to think of anything else for them gave me an aneurysm.I struggled so much that yeah I’m breaking and adding one or two japanese songs, sorry guys

Debut Song: Mafia In The Morning by Itzy

Other Tracks: Dice by Nmixx; First by Everglow (tell me Azul wouldn’t tear up those vocals?? Get Floyd on the chorus? Screaming); Play with Fire by Camellia (covered by ツバサ【歌の部屋】 if you need to hear a human sing it); Black Suit by Super Junior

Solo releases: ViViD by Heejin of Loona (Azul); Villain by Stella Jang (Azul)

Scarabia

Group name: Wysper (Honestly not happy with either of the names but I can’t think of anything better)

Fandom name: Wishes

Okay they’re complex because. Uh. Jamil is basically doing everything. He’s the most talented dancer, rapper, vocalist; it’s just that Kalim is the face. Aaaand the center. Despite being a trainee for a way shorter amount of time, despite not being as skilled as Jamil, Kalim took first place in the competitive show they both participated in. Very bitter. Jamil tries to keep it on the down-low but their relationship is definitely suffering from favoritism.

Kalim has probably been a star for a very long time, I’m talking child star levels of fame and already had a fan base by the time he and Jamil debuted. He’s got amazing charisma and stage presence, not to mention Kalim is taking first place as the aegyo king. However, the nepo baby allegations are through the ROOF, seeing as his family straight up owns the company he and Jamil debuted under. That’s not to say he doesn’t try! He works hard, but it’s not going to save him, especially when he’s getting a billion offers from modeling companies and fashion brands, when Jamil isn’t.

I can’t describe what their sound is exactly? I feel like it’s somewhere close to reggaeton with a bit of bollywood/southeast asia

Debut song: You cannot tell me Paint The Town by Loona is not THE Wysper song. It’s literally so perfect I was angry I didn’t think of it earlier. Kalim on the light verses, Jamil on the chorus? Insane.

Other tracks: Icky by Kard; Charmer by SKZ; Cake by Kard; Ring the Alarm by Kard; Tinnitus by TXT; SHOOT! by Itzy; Red Moon by Kard

Solo releases: Singing in the Rain by JinSoul of Loona (Kalim)

Pomefiore

Group name: FoE (Fruit of Evil), I wanted to lean into the lip/biting themes for them and pick something that felt suitably sexy

Fandom name: Bites

Vil has to be the leader obviously, but he’s also the face, visual and vocalist- let’s be real he’s the most favored of the group and everyone knows it. He was definitely an actor before this, he probably ended up in the group because of an elimination show that he won and then got the privilege of picking all his other members. He for sure has some solo releases, brand deals, modeling gigs- Vil is the it boy of their generation, the kind of idol everyone knows. Definitely a massive one-sided rivalry with Neige, because Neige was probably in a NCT Dream type group as a kid, then went solo when he got older and became incredibly successful. Vil is endlessly jealous.

Rook was probably a runner up in the same show as Vil and fully admitted to being a massive fan while on the show. He’s the best dancer in the group, probably the center, and writes the majority of the songs cus I know this weird fucker likes poetry. Rook is guy who’s a fan before he’s an idol, definitely has a room full of merchandise, people have caught him buying albums of his favorite group

Epel is the maknae, obviously, and was probably previously a background dancer. Vil saw him and picked him up by the scruff of his neck. He’s definitely the only real rapper of the group and can dance pretty well, but this is not the kind of group he wanted to be in. Epel was probably hoping for a concept a bit more like BxB but we don’t all get what we wish for

I listened to Nude while making this and it changed my entire vibe for their group. They’re just (g)-idle. If the music makes you wanna worship a woman it belongs to FoE.

Debut song: Love Dive by IVE

Other Tracks: Nude by (g)-idle; Oh my God by (g)-idle; Villain Dies by (g)-idle; Snapping by Chung Ha; Do Not Touch by Misamo of Twice; Cry For Me by Twice

Solo releases: Vengeance by Bibi (Vil)

Ignihyde

What group

It’s just Idia

He’s probably a producer or sumthing let’s be so real guys. Ortho is his sound set up.

I’ll still give examples of what I think his tracks sound like tho. Lots of dubstep and generally electronic sounds cus… come on guys, it’s too perfect.

Tracks: Illusion by Aespa; Miroh by SKZ; Freeze by SKZ; Hold On Tight by Aespa

Diasomnia

Group name: Som.nia (Nia), I wanted to lean into the sleepy/dream feeling

Fandom name: Niacs, insomnia/insomniac you get it okay

“Malleus is leader!” you cry, and you are wrong, because Lilia literally has to be leader. He is the objectively the best (and funniest) option, Malleus does not have the backbone to be leader yet. Lilia has been around the block a billion times; he’s been a vkei idol, he’s been a model, he’s probably been a wrestler let’s be real he’s the Sakura of twst fr. He writes most of the songs for the group, but is definitely trying to get the others to improve their songwriting skills. While Lilia gets a lot of offers, he turns them down. If I’m honest, he’s probably going to quit being an idol after

Malleus is definitely taking the vocalist position, no question. He’s also probably taking the “least popular member of the group” position. Poor guy is seriously awkward on camera and has a chronic case of resting scary face. He takes center pretty frequently, half as an attempt to get him some more recognition- it’s not great cus he’s kinda a stiff dancer. He was fairly popular pre-debut for his extremely strange energy

Call me insane, but dancer Silver! He’s very physically capable, it’s just… you’ll catch him sleeping every time he’s not practicing. Definitely has insane muscle memory, he could do all his choreography with his eyes closed. He’s also an occasional vocalist, he’s got a nice soft voice. Sebek is always getting on him for “being lazy” but Silver usually just tells him to screw off.

Sebek gets rapper because he’s sooooo good at projecting and enunciating aggressively. It’s all the Malleus worship. I think he was a trainee at the same time as Malleus and was utterly obsessed with him, fan favorite for being So Weird All The Time.

I’ll be so real, if the song made me feel gorgeous it went on the list. They kinda reek of 3rd gen Kpop? This is definitely Lilia’s fault. But I’m so here for it the nostalgia go CRAAAZY. Also they are VIXX thanks.

Debut Song: Butterfly by Loona

Other Tracks: Bite Me by Enhyphen; Chained Up by VIXX, Shangri-La by VIXX; Blood, Sweat and Tears by BTS (are you kidding me this addition is so good I’m genuinely LOSING IT); Scentist by VIXX; Fever by Enhyphen; Sugar Rush Ride by Enhyphen; Inception by ATEEZ

Solo releases: Egoist by Olivia Hye of Loona (Silver)

Honorable mentions (these are a bit shorter)

First year gang

Group name: F1rst

Fandom name: Zer0, because they come before first

Jack gets to be leader! He’s responsible, if a bit nervous, takes the vocalist position here.

Epel gets visual in this case, though he still does a fair amount of rap.

Deuce is the best with fans and gets to be center, he’s a pretty good all-rounder here.

Ace is still the best dancer in the group and literally will never stop gloating.

Sebek gets to be the rapper and takes the face position because he’s So Weird All The Time

I think they are literally just Stray Kids tbh, my favoritism is showing but I don’t even care

Debut Song: Break All the Rules by Cravity

Other Tracks: Super board by SKZ; Thunderous by SKZ; S-Class by SKZ; Domino by SKZ; TOPLINE by SKZ; God’s Menu by SKZ

Pop music club

Group name: Jump Up! I wanted to pick something really cheery and high energy

Fandom name: Highs

Kalim is leader here again, he’s just got that energy! He also gets to be the rapper

Cater swipes the vocalist position, finally gets a chance to shine fr

Old man Lilia somehow bags the dancer position and is no question the face

They're peppy, poppy, a classic girl group type noise.

Debut song: Hi High by Loona was truly too perfect

Other tracks: Hula Hoop by Loona; Air Force One by Odd Eye Circle of ARTMS

Floyd + Che’nya + Ruggie

Group name: THEE (can be said like “thee” or “tee-hee”)

Fandom name: Teenies

Ruggie is the leader and lead dancer for this one!

Seeing as Floyd has had dancer ripped from his hands by Ruggie, he’s going to fully take over rap

And Che’nya gets to be vocalist, I like to believe he’s got some pipes on him

Literally just silly vibes

Debut song: Cheese by SKZ

Other Tracks: Taller Than You by Mamamoo; Maniac by SKZ; Circus by SKZ; Don’t Tease Me by Speed

Lilia + Malleus + Vil + Rook

Group name: Nu Moon

Fandom name: Starlights, yeah I stole it from VIXX, sue me

Malleus, king of goth, gets to lead this group- it’s a very good starter group to lead, considering he’s got a lot of experienced members

Lilia is quite obviously producing every single song for this group, that’s mostly what he’s here to do, so he also takes up the mantle of dancer

Vil is once again the visual and the face, but he’s giving up the vocalist position

Shock of shocks, Rook gets to be the vocalist here! Because he doesn’t get to shine much in FoE

They are literally dreamcatcher.

Debut song: BEcause by Dreamcatcher

Other tracks: Piri by Dreamcatcher; Odd Eye by Dreamcatcher; Boca by Dreamcatcher; Scream by Dreamcatcher

That's the end of today's showing, as always, thank you for coming.

Did anyone ask for this? uhhhh no. But it made me very happy so whatever. Legitimately Octavinelle gave me so much trouble I changed their tracklist like four times. I was tempted to make Diasomnia Dreamcatcher as well, but I didn't want to erase Silver's lo-fi soft boy vibes.

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midwestemoismid · 2 months ago

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Ive been feeling really low recently, and being alive just for other people is unhealthy. So i decided to wright a lot of reasons why i should be alive. (My favorite // most important ones are colored)

Sorry if theres any repeats

Currently i have: 77 I will edit this post when i think of more

Camp lilac.

Talking to my boyfriend

my cat and my dogs. The thought of them looking for me or waiting for me to come home if i never do is upsetting.

learning new things i find interesting

learning about True crime

Staying up late

Learning about science

Rain

Thunder

Doing things i shouldn't do or stuff that might not be a good idea // Adrenaline

My favorite foods

Cats

Learning about my hyperfixations

horror movies

Reading

sleeping on rainy nights

Making music when im older

Listening to music

Drawing

Painting

Sketching

Snowboarding

Hiking

Calling people late at night

Coffee

Tea

Hot apple cider

Animating

The band McCafferty

The band Queen

The band The Front Bottoms

old games

Animal crossing

Fnaf

Minecraft

Ultrakill

Portal

ASL

Watching new shows

Watching youtube

Hanging out with my friends

Speedway slushies

Vinyl Records

Stuffed animals

Pretty flowers

Hugs

Cuddling with my friends

Making silly doodles

Comfort food

Laughing

Making crafts

Hanging out at the park

Helluva Boss

Amphibia

Gravity falls

The owl houss

Monster Energy

My favorite candies

Reeces Peices

Sweet tarts

Spotify

Class of '09

learning music

funny stuff

Dyeing my hair

Dreams

Sleeping

Climbing

ifykyk😼 /j

talking to my favorite people

Funny photos

Smoothies

Walking around places

Music

animal bones

Collecting stuff

Making crafts

#mental health #suicideprevention #suicide prevention #reasons to live

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woodswolf · 3 months ago

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🌿🏜️🔪🪲?

writer's truth or dare ask game

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

honestly? just don't be afraid to step away. sometimes you're not in the right headspace for a project and that's okay. work with your brain, not against it - whether that's on a different WIP or just taking a break for a while. sometimes this means the WIP sits for a little while. sometimes this means you abandon it. roll with the punches, don't dodge into them.

like for example, i've been having One Of The Weeks Of My Life at my job recently and just feeling really burned out and depressed on the Major Fucking Crunch Time this project is getting into. i didn't feel like working on chapter 5 when i was feeling that terrible, but i was able to channel some of that energy into a side story. i've barely started it as of yet, but it's got a lot of potential, has required a lot of research, and just. it's helped burn off a lot of the negative emotion (because it involves a very similar kind of negative emotion and focuses on a kind of burnout recovery. lol)

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

long analysis comments are like the #1 kind of comment to get in my good books. i get an excuse to talk about Fun Details whether intentional or not and just generally feed information to someone who isn't fully aware of all of the complexities of a project yet (usually my partner lol)

however.

i personally consider that the highest honor i could ever receive would be recursive fanfiction. fanart as well, yes, but fanfiction in particular. it's more or less a reflection of my own process in a way; i write a lot of recursive fanfiction relative to my output, but i only write recursive fanfiction about fanfiction that really, really resonated with me, or that often were incredibly formative to me in their own specific ways. it's not enough for it to be a good story - it has to change something about me, alter my perspective or open my eyes to an entirely new world. often these end up feeling like (or just being) treatises on a particular subject; there are fics on hope, on grief, on forgetting, on becoming monsters. and it's just.... it's powerful.

i could link all of these if anyone is curious.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

honestly all of the research i've done for DLD and other fics in the DLDCM (Dogs Leading Dogs Cinematic Multiverse) qualifies as really weird. outside of the semi-standard fanfiction-writer fare (e.g. symptoms of various injuries, or how to identify certain types of injuries like with that shoulder test), there are two broad categories of "what the fuck" research that i've gone into very extensively.

the first category, which i keep coming back to over and over, is all of the speculative biology shit. basically NONE of it is going to come up until more than halfway through catch/cradle at minimum, but at this point ive probably put close to ten hours of research into figuring out what the fuck is wrong with these things. (and that's just the research, not the processing that shit afterward.) i know what this guy breathes. i don't know exactly how his metabolism works, but i do have a general outline that seems approximately sound, and have a general principle for how it interacts with other metabolisms. i don't just know HIS metabolism by the way, i know like three other components' metabolic interactions and life cycles and to some extent their histories. and then we get into all of the other lore shit that is Very Present and Very Real and Very Probably Isn't Going To Be Written Down In Any Fics and also isn't strictly research based as much as vibes based but it doesn't have to be research based because my source is i made it the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but tl;dr there's a CRAZY amount of various kinds of biology lore and 90% of it is never going to see the light of day most likely

the second category which has generally come about more recently is primitive / historical technology. generally just a lot of how you would do certain things - such as making paper, or refining clay, or working metal or glass - if you were starting from (almost) nothing.

additional shoutout to when i did some brief research on akkadian for one of my recurive fic projects, that was fun but really overwhelming and i ended up not finishing it myself lol

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

from chapter 5:

The ship doesn’t need any additional explanation. “I’ll set the course,” it says. Brief and to the point. He can’t help but appreciate that right now. The controls shift ever-so-slightly under his hands as they start following a slightly different autopilot route. It’ll set them up for the approach path they discovered on the second day — one that doesn’t cut through as many of the giant trees.

thanks for the ask!! :D

#writer's truth or dare ask game #my posts #maideninorange #dogs leading dogs

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denji-irl · 9 months ago

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hello my friends, things have been very horrible for me lately. ive been stressed bc of so many things and have been having a hard time making it through life. my parents do not want to support me financially anymore, ive been having a bad time finding loans, ive been trying to manage work and school but most days I'm so low energy, and right now im 100 dollars under rent and bills that I need to pay by the 1st of the month, not to mention I have school to pay as well which I'm not sure how I'll make money for that considering everything I make goes towards rent and bills and groceries...

all that to say I need help. im still looking at outside sources for help but I'd really, genuinely appreciate any bit of change that could help. at least with rent as I do not want to be kicked out and homeless if I fail to pay rent, nor do I want to risk it... i really hate asking and being vulnerable like this so please if anyone would be kind enough to donate even just a bit here is my PayPal feel free to repost if you can... if you need to contact me feel free to message me here or on discord denji_irl id really appreciate any donations and id be willing to do whatever it takes to show my appreciation just let me know... also putting my gofundme here

#help

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gayaest · 1 year ago

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hi hi!!

do u happen to have any references or tips or etc on drawing mobility aids?? Ive recently been thinking , and I haven’t ever really fully tried to draw any or a character with / using them ( despite me having multiple characters who I believe would very likely use them )

I’m sorry if this is too much to ask- I just absolutely adore ur art and had a quick question-

That really depends on which mobility aids you are talking about! I have a lot of knowledge and have done a lot of research — as well have used many of them myself!

Firstly, you can find a semi-helpful stream that I had done on my youtube HERE (click). Its a bit old and I had planned sharing an updated video on wheelchairs eventually — I’m just low energy rn and haven’t had the time.

Secondly, my biggest tip for whatever mobility aid you want to draw is to look them up and trace the basic shapes, or the whole thing. It’s good practice, and a way to understand the whole mechanism, and why certain things are the way they are.

Outside from that, if a character you’ve created has a disability you don’t and/or mobility aid you might not use yourself — research research research! even googling simple questions like “what does a rollator do” is better than nothing at all.

I hope this helps you, and I’m sorry if it’s not super comprehensive as I just woke up and have very little energy!

#asks #anon

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cpunkwitch · 1 year ago

Text

answering my own questions

[pt: answering my own questions]

dont really get sent anything and not many people sent in the questions when the games were posted and reblogged, and i wanted to talk about stuff, so here we are.

this might end up being a multiple part post series?

ask game one (link)

(if comfortable) tell us about your condition? as much info as youre comfy with sharing.

i have a defect in the base of my spine, since i was born its caused me chronic pain all throughout my development and in recent years its only gotten worse, twisting my spine, headaches, jaw issues etc. i've also got highly suspected rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and ive been diagnosed with a pretty bad case of anemia so bad that everytime a doctor looks at my results after bloodwork they give me a pained look and say "heyy...did you know your iron is low? like...really really low?". that and a hand full of other things, vitamin deficiencies, etc. i dont mind talking more about this

2. do you know about the spoon theory? if yes, what do you think of it?

i'll be honest, the majority of my knowledge of spoon theory off the top of my head is that "drawer with limited supply of spoons" is the disabled way of saying i only have so much motivation and energy (phys, as "battery" usually refers to social and emotional) in me. i've read up on it ages ago but would not be able to put into better words what i still remember about spoon theory (esp since we had a different host back then), i like that its just so much quicker and easier to convey my amount of ability to do things for the day by saying whether or not i have the spoons for it.

i do like to joke that my drawer is always stocked with knives and forks for the ablests, but sometimes that requires spoons to handle too. /silly

3. do you have mobility aids? if yes, which ones? if no, do you want any in the future?

i've mention how i really wish i could have a wheelchair if i were in a different situation, i dont know if i'll ever get one and i almost cried when my brother responded to my joke of "would you make on for me?" with an "i would if i could", i really would like a wheelchair of some kind in the future if the world were more accessible and i were in a safer place. right now though, i've just got my cane that still needs repainting. i guess my moms back brace counts too, i take it with me to work sometimes.

4. how did you find out about cripplepunk? what drew you to the community and movement?

i dont exactly remember but i've known about it for years. i (prev host) might have come across it looking up different punk aesthetics, though im not completely sure why it showed up in a punk aesthetic list, possibly because its punk and people misinterpreted it? my first glimpse was seeing patches on jackets, spiked customized aids, cripples/phys disabled people in your classic punk attire (piercings, dyed spiked mohawks, ripped jeans and fingerless gloves) and i loved it. im a sucker for self expression through appearance and customizing things and then when i found out it was a whole community for support and centered around being physically disabled in general and slowly came to terms with my own disabled body and started accepting myself, i kinda fell in love with cripplepunk in the "this feels like home" sense.

i could probably ramble way more but i'll stop there.

5. if you deal with any kind of pain, what's your method of pain management?

i use hot packs, ice packs, voltaren cream, sometimes i take a cbd gummy, i do little stretches when i remember them, i take walks and hot baths/showers, im trying to go back to the chiropractor and my favourite instructors in rehab (theyre trans friendly and complimented my cane when i first came in with it i love them so much), and i take whatever meds i can, normally anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen but because i cant swallow pills i either take liquid (yeah, childs liquid meds works, the couple hours of mild relief is still worth it) or powdered tylenol or something. the hot/cold stuff depends on the pain and where on my body the pain is.

6. do you stand or sit in the shower or do you prefer baths/find bathing easier rather than showers?

i take baths for my muscles and during the damn monthly ouch in order to relax my body. i take showers just for my shoulders and when im feeling icky and wanna rinse off or something, i take showers on a "regular" basis and i normally stand because the only way i sit is if im crouched in the tub and if i do that i get extra dizzy standing up to get out when i turn the water off. thankfully im no longer near passing out when i take a shower but i still have to sit on the floor matt after because my legs demand rest. i gotta be careful with hot water cuz not only will it make me overheat quickly (i will not realize if in standing in blood-boiling hot water and turning myself into a cooked lobster until after im out) but it can also cause me to literally fall asleep in the bath which can go wrong.

7. do you have a sort of comfort item or safety blanket that helps you feel better, especially on the worst days?

a couple things. a few of them are stuffies/plushies, or music, games or books to help me keep my mind off it i suppose.

8. name 3 things you hate about hospitals/doctors/nurses/the medical system

a) a lot of them refuse to take people seriously or actually listen. sure maybe theyre tired or heard the same shtick before and wanna make sure this person isnt just a drug user trying to pity their way into getting more, but even then all matters a patient presents them with should still be taken seriously and never brushed off or mocked.

b) the fact that the er, the place you take a ticket and wait, is called the Emergency Room, when its normally scheduled appointments and people taken in by the ambulance that are top priority. sure its called the er because most visits through the er are rushed "emergency" last minute visits, people going there because they couldnt schedule an appointment and needed to see someone on that day, but still it feels wrong to call it the emergency room when its really just a waiting room and regardless of the visit they arent actually treated as emergencies. the whole system of just going to see a doctor feels messed up and most of the time you end up just going to see a nurse, get a check up and leave when they tell you what they got after a talk and examination or they schedule to see you again when a doctor is available. because of this i tend to prefer walk in clinics.

c) the fact that they charge to damn much, no matter if youre insured, it still charges so much. no matter what they do. and yeah, healthcare in canada is free to an extent if youre insured but a lot of times they charge more than your insurance can cover and not everyone can get/has insurance. not to mention the medical debt so many people have in america. i get that staff and hospitals need pay and funding but the government should have that covered and not have the patients charged so much for getting help. i almost got charged over 3k just for my short visit to the ward because there was an issue with my insurance and thats a whole angry story for another time.

9. whats an accessibility tool you wish was more accessible/that you had access to?

one of them is aac, the one i have on my phone i have to disconnect my phone to and has a limited amount of phrases i can pick from. id like it better if the app or just aac programs in general when directly to your device speaker by default, had more options for more ease conversing and none of them were behind a damn pay wall, in-app purchase or otherwise. i rarely use it for several reasons but i'd love if i could use it more with less limitations.

also wheelchair ramps. i dont have a wheelchair ramp but i wish people stopped walking on them when theyre clearly able-bodied, i wished my parents taught me and my siblings what the ramps were for and not to run up and down them as well as other parents to their kids because those things are supposed to be clear for a wheelchair user. i also think the corners should be rounded for ease of turning and that wheelchair accessible paths in general should be firm to the ground (not a wimpy matt on the sand that flips over and gets buried on the beach unmaintained), maintained and cleaned regularly, not have any gaps (ive seen so many of the small ones installed in doorways that have a height gap above the ground which causes trouble getting the wheelchair on the ramp let alone through the damn door) and not have railings made of metal if theyre outside (they can often reflect light into peoples eyes and get too hot to touch in the sun both of which are not good issues to have no matter how small they seem.)

those are at least the first to come to mind.

10. whats the worst accessability cockblock you've seen ableds do/make?

theres quite a few i've seen but atm nothing significant comes to mind other than overpricing mobility aids or placing paywalls in front of aids in general.

however there was the few times in more than one school i went to you had to go to the office, provide a 'valid' reason and ask them for a key to the elevator, otherwise they make you take the stairs. i know they do it because they dont want able-bodied kids messing with it n shit but its stupid, it should be accessible to everyone regardless. thank fuck both collages ive been to so far give free elevator use to any staff or student but in the schools i went to i was only allowed have the access key because i couldnt walk up the steps on my sprained/twisted ankle and i had to give it back at the end of every day. the last school even limited my use to just the morning or 1-2 periods that i had on the second floor. nevermind if my locker was up there.

11. whats an accessibility tool youre very thankful for?

screen readers. my little brother uses/used em more than me and i dont use them too often but im glad they exist in general i used them when i was younger and my english teachers gave us work on the computer, i used it like an audiobook and it helped me majorly. i hate that people dont always provide translations to things and make things harder on screen readers by using coloured, tiny, non-serif font-ed or 'quirked' text but ever since i was a kid i was just as happy they existed as i was about braille.

12. name 3 things you like about hospitals/docs/nurses/the medical system

a) that there are some people there who are actually hoping, willing and ready to listen and help others.

b) that they provide things for kids like toys in the waiting room, people who specialize in caring for kids in the hospital, some doctors even have their office decorated. one doctor i went to had her entire office winnie the pooh themed and it helped me out a lot when i got blood work done n stuff, it was really comforting to stare at pooh bear instead of the sharp pokey in my arm.

c) that things are usually kept quiet with low voices, as it reduces risk of overstimulation as well as avoids hurting anyones head and protects privacy of those talking about whats going on. voices are usually only raised to a normal talking level when in the privacy of a nurse or doctor office and its something i dont see really acknowledged anywhere.

13. do you have any favourite disability rep? (media or character)

not picking from my own sources, when it comes to physical disability rep, its hard for me to pick something that involves a realistic character because most of them arent very well portrayed or i cant personally relate to. i can list Freddy freeman as one, hes a crutch user and how the shazam movie portrayed him does well in expressing what ableism can be like for some visibly disabled kids in school. i could probably list some shows that handle disability well through other means if i thought of them, i know theres a few that handle it through super heros being disabled (the one spider-person who's got both a wheelchair and a cane from the recent spiderverse movie for example) or non-human characters having differences that are implied to be disabilities, and i adore that creativity, especially with showing disabled super heros as it tells disabled kids theyre still strong, not broken, they can still be cool and do great things just like able-bodied people. hard for me to name specific things off the top of my head though, guess i like specific tropes around disability rep more than anything. it helps normalize disability and thats what really makes me happy with it. (thats a big reason why i made @/your-fave-is-crippled)

14. least favourite/worst disability rep?

not phys disabled but sia's fucked up movie right off the bat still angers me. i cant name any specifics once again, normally if theres some rep that i dont like i purposely forget they exist to begin with, they arent worth remembering if they arent gonna do it right, y'know? id rather forget and move on than linger and rage about it if i can help it.

15. list some creators (youtubers/bloggers etc) that are disabled and/or cater to a disabled audience that you enjoy? (if any)

@crippled-pvp, @cripple-culture-is are a couple blogs i follow that i enjoy seeing on my dash (sorry if you dont want to be tagged!)

there was a deaf/hoh girl i used to frequent the content of as she talks a lot about signing and i really enjoyed her videos, shes such a sweet person but i never remembered her name nor any of the other creators i watched/followed. no one else comes to mind atm

16. favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

i like that there are people with advice at the ready, whatever question you have or info you need etc, theres always going to be someone with the words you need. i just like how helpful people can be in general in this community and how easily support is accessed through the community.

17. least favourite aspect about the general disabled community?

the fact that theres in-fighting, fake claiming, judgment, quick assumptions, and general internalized ableism still going on when we're supposed to be a community helping each other out not tearing each other down. im not just talking about the fight over "inclusion vs exclusion" on cripplepunk and other sub/separate communities in the disability community.

18. favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

i think my answer to "what drew you to cripplepunk" also answers this.

19. least favourite aspect about cripplepunk?

honestly? none. i hate the people forcing themselves into a space not meant to include them nor benefits them in the first place. i cant actually think of an issue i have with the cpunk community, only issues with people outside being upset over how "exclusive" it is because they want in.

20. free space:

feel free to ask me about any of my answers! i'll make a second post for the second ask game some other time. its currently 11pm and i have to get up early for morning classes yuck

[ID: banner reading "dni if... proship, transx/id, syscourse/discourse blog, anti-mspec lesbians/gays, anti-lesboy/turigirl more in pinned rentry. this blog is protected by the addams family, the de rolo family and co." in all black lowercase text. It has a grey cloud background. On the left is the De Rolo coat of arms with a cobweb in the top corner and symmetrically flipped on the right is the symbol of Vox Machina with the same cobweb in the bottom corner :End ID]

#cass rambles #disability blogging #actually disabled #physically disabled #cripplepunk #physical disability #cpunk #disabled #cripple punk #cpunk blog #answers

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