#ive been putting off new vegas for MONTHS
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i cant sleep i keep thinking about yes man and get so excited and giddy i am back to square one
#they put so many drugs in this robot#I KNEWWWW this would happen#i warned yall#ive been putting off new vegas for MONTHS#HERE WE ARE#monnie rambles
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Hi! Could you do a Caitlin Clark one where we surprise her at one of the Fever Games?
hi! yes ofc! sorry itâs taken me a while to post this! ive been swamped with essays for my summer classes :( i chose to do the fever game against dc where cait had one of her best games of the season! i figured it was fitting if y/n surprised her and she saw her during the first quarter and started dedicating the game to her and it helped her make her shots! i also decided to make y/n a singer whoâs touring, which is why she canât make all of ccâs games!
dc surprise c.clark x reader
caitlin clark x reader!
summary: you're on tour for festival season (its giving chappell roan) and you haven't been able to make it to one of caitlin's games for a while. you finally are able to make it to one and come to DC to surprise her!
!đ¨đŠđŠđ đşđˇđŹđ¨đ˛đşÂĄ
okay i love how this started but idk how i feel abt the ending bc i kind of rushed it but its okay
first cc fic hehehe
đđđđđđđ: the use of y/n?
The last two months have been crazy for you. The festival season had begun, which meant you were on the road more often than not, touring all over the states, playing show after show with no breaks. It made it impossible to take any time off for yourself, making it incredibly hard to find the time to watch your girlfriend play her first few games as a pro.Â
Youâd caught a break for her very first game, spending the week before with her while she finished up training camp and supported her through the loss of her first game pre-season, and their loss against Connecticut. But youâd only made it to a few others, including the game in Las Vegas as youâd wanted to see her and Kate play. But festivals almost every other weekend, and the process of recording your new album made it hard.Â
Caitlin understood she knew what sheâd signed up for when she asked you to be her girlfriend two years ago. It didnât make it easier, but she understood. You had a responsibility to your fans and to your label just as she had a responsibility for her team and the league.Â
The two of you had been inseparable while still in school, you taking part-time classes while juggling your rising stardom, Cait constantly at games or practice, but you lived together, and that made it easier. Right now, Caitlin lived in Indiana, and you lived in hotel rooms, scarcely able to make it back to her apartment.Â
Finally, there was a break in your schedule, coming only two days before you were set to perform at Gov Ball in New York. Caitlin would be in DC for a game, youâd decided to make the trip out there as it was only a few hours from the city and you could stay a few days there with her. You hadnât told Cait your plan but youâd texted some of her teammates and Katie Lou pulled through, her family had spots courtside as her sister played for the Mystics and they had a seat for you and a few of your friends. All you had to do was let your management know about your little detour, but it wouldnât be a huge deal because of the publicity youâd get at the game.Â
The public knew you and Cait were friends, and some people suspected you were more, and you were very open with your sexuality. But, Caitlin was more reserved, she wanted to keep your relationship more private, to try and keep the vultures off your backs. Youâd both seen what the media could do to relationships and valued the health of your relationship over the ability to flaunt each other in public.Â
There were also of course the fans who shipped you with Kate. This had caused a bit of tension between you and Caitlin, especially after the Fever game in Vegas, where people pointed out it was one of the only games youâd attended. But Kate put the rumors to rest mentioning how she saw you as a younger sister on one of Jadaâs lives. Which was a relief, and Cait was ready to risk it all just to prove to the internet that you were hers.Â
Sometimes you wondered how the internet had yet to put all the pieces together, due to all of the songs youâd written about her. It baffled you how many people assumed they were about exes and not about the girl you were with. But Caitlin thought it was hilarious, especially when you dropped your album, and âSo High Schoolâ wasnât immediately connected to her.Â
Being at this upcoming game for Cait was important to you. The media was ripping her apart and it broke your heart that you were unable to be there and support her. Especially as you were at such a high in your career, she deserved all the love and support from you, the same support sheâd given you when you were at your lowest point.Â
So you booked a flight to Washington, DC with a promise to your management you wouldnât blow out your vocal chords screaming at the game, and headed to the airport early the morning of the game.Â
â
Everything worked out perfectly, and now you were on your way to DC for the game. Caitlin had texted you that morning letting you know sheâd landed at Dulles and was heading over for practice. Youâd responded, wishing her good luck tonight and that youâd be watching the game from your New York apartment couch. She of course thought you were flying to New York this morning, and was not suspicious at all that your phone was off for three hours. You just prayed no one had caught wind of you leaving Boston and was waiting at the airport when you landed. The last thing you needed was paparazzi pictures hitting the internet when you were trying to surprise your girlfriend. She had your hashtag notifications on for every website, and it was impossible to get away with any form of surprise because of the media attention you got.Â
Thankfully when you touched down and made your way through the airport there were no reporters. You bumped into a couple of fans, taking pictures, but asking them to wait until the next day to post pictures of you in the airport.Â
You took an Uber to your hotel, a hat pulled low over your eyes trying to avoid anyone recognizing you. There were a few hours left until the game and you were settling into your hotel as Caitâs name flashed on your phone, with a Facetime request.Â
âHey baby,â she said when you answered, her tired eyes meeting yours.Â
âHey, love.â You smiled, taking in her appearance, her ponytail a little ruffled, and her warm-up shirt soaked with sweat. âDid you just get done with practice?âÂ
She nods, wiping a hand across her face, âyeah, weâre about to head back to the hotels to get ready for the game before shoot-around.â She pauses, eyes wandering across your face through the screen. âWhat are you up to?â
âWriting.â You shrug coyly, smirking as her face lit up.Â
âAbout me?â You couldnât help but laugh at her expression.Â
âNo, Iâm writing about some other six-foot brunette who plays basketball.â Caitlin pouts which makes your stomach clench. She looks so cute when she does that. âDonât pout at me, baby.âÂ
She rolls her eyes, smiling again. âYouâre watching the game tonight right?âÂ
You nod, shaking your head as she always double-checked. âYup, I have my 22 jersey ready and a bottle of wine.âÂ
âGood,â she grins, âevery shot is for you, baby.âÂ
â
The line to get into the stadium wrapped around the building, reminding you of the pictures youâd seen of Eras Tour queues. Sometimes you were immensely glad that you were able to cut the line.Â
Youâd texted Caitlinâs parents, meeting up with them so you all could head over to the game together. The three of you were able to cut in line, going through the family entrance, and mingling with people before finding your seats.Â
Deciding to wear a hat to the game had become a good idea, shielding yourself from prying eyes and the eyes of your girlfriend, not wanting to distract her before the game. It always went better for her if she found you in the crowd naturally, almost as if your presence lit a fire in her.Â
And lit a fire it did. Only two minutes into the game Cait spotted you. Her eyes zeroed in on your shoes first, waiting to check the ball right before you. They traveled upwards, meeting your own, a smirk across your lips. Her jaw dropped, and she quickly recovered as you winked cheekily at her.Â
âWhat the fuck,â she mouthed at you.Â
âSurprise,â You mouthed back, grinning. Her parents laughed, sitting beside you.Â
It was as if a switch had flipped. She started shooting every three, making almost every single one of them. You were on your feet, cheering for her every time she made a bucket, just like you had in college.Â
Caitlin was on fire, and everyone noticed, trying to figure out what had caused this winning streak. The camera panned along courtside as the half approached, the media team obviously noticing Caitâs eyes on your section every time she landed another shot.Â
You, Brent, and Anne smiled and waved for the camera as it hovered in front of you. All three of you glanced up, seeing yourselves on the jumbotron, your name and âCaitlin Clarkâs Parentsâ popping up under your faces. The camera stayed there for a while, the three of you trying to maintain smiles as if became slightly awkward, finally when they moved on your eyes found Caitâs and she rolled her own, exasperation showing through.Â
Both of you knew this would come with tons of speculation, but you werenât upset over it. As long as the two of you were happy, nothing would come between you, even the nosey media.Â
â
As soon as the game was over you were ushered to the tunnel, following behind the players yelling in excitement over the win against DC. At an away game too. You smiled, watching Cait hug Katie Lou, and Erica. Her eyes began to travel around the room, looking for someone, looking for you. When your eyes connected, she ducked out from under her teammate's arms, sprinting towards you.Â
You collided, her arms catching you at the top of your thighs as you jumped into the air. She spun you around, a wide smile across her lips.Â
âI canât believe youâre here!â The sound of her voice sent a wave of warmth throughout your body, having only heard it through the phone for the last month.Â
âI couldnât wait any longer,â you whispered into her neck as she set you down. âI missed you so much, Caity.âÂ
âYou have no idea how much Iâve missed you, baby.â Caitlin pulls you even closer, as if trying to make sure youâre real, and actually in her arms. âHoly shit, I literally cannot believe Iâm holding you right now.âÂ
âBelieve it, baby, Iâm here for another day.âÂ
Caitlinâs face lit up. âWe have all night and all day together?âÂ
You nod, eyes wandering across her face, taking in her features, trying to ignore the pang in your heart at the bags under her eyes. âI cleared it with Christie. Iâm traveling with you guys to Indiana tomorrow and flying out the morning after.âÂ
Caitlin lunged forward, connecting her lips to yours. You smiled against hers, hands finding their way to her hair. The whistles of her teammates in the background made the two of you pull apart, breathless. She pressed another kiss to your lips quickly before turning around to face her team and shooting them a look of irritation.Â
âLet's get out of here,â she laces her fingers with yours, tugging you in the opposite direction of the locker room.Â
âWait but donât you have to-âÂ
âNope.â The two of you weave your way through the mass of people, heads down, quickly making your way toward the exit. âIf Christie knows youâre here, sheâll be fine missing me for post-game.âÂ
âBut the media?â She grins at you crookedly.Â
âIâm not on the schedule for once.â Caitlin leans forward quickly, pressing her lips on your temple. âNow come on, we have a lot of time to make up for and only one night to do it.âÂ
#caitlin clark#caitlin clark x reader#indiana fever#wlw post#iowa wbb#happy pride đ#caitlin clark x y/n#y/n#caitlin#clark#22
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formatting this is gonna be a bit wild however some sixteen candles nonsense. for those unaware this is a wip that is all based in a group chat (think discord) where the names of threads, usernames, etc all change. but the main point is theyâre all queer besties whoâve known each other for 16 years and they get up to Shenanigans!!
(if u need anything else clarified just ask. remember: all typos are there for a reason so if things are unreadable iâll also clarify)
the proposal
tw(s): mentions of sex, drug use, cursing, bad spelling, lots of slang
usernames:
Nanette Rosenfeld -> Nanette
Ranger Pellish -> ranger danger
Vanilla Vega -> VaniVee
Roger Grant -> no
Tucker Hayes -> TUCKerware
Nanette: So I have some unfortunate news to bring to the class.
TUCKerware: oooOoOoO stry tme!
ranger danger: did ur teacher spring a surprise mid-term on you lmao
VaniVee: or!! :000 you had a overnight shift at work you didnât want to do because your supposed to be spending time with us this weekend!!!
no: What happened nan?
Nanette: My girlfriend broke up with me.
VaniVee: OH NO NETTIE ; 3;
TUCKerware: shld i bet some1 up?????? was she a bicth?
ranger danger: b i c t h
ranger danger: god i hate u lmaooooo
TUCKerware: if i hd th gif i woulda put it hre
ranger danger: found it
ranger danger: i have that shit SAVED
no: Am I the only one who Didnât know nan had a girlfriend?
no: Just me?
no: ok.
ranger danger: no lol i was going to ask the same thing
ranger danger: young lady, you didnât even tell the class you h a d a girlfriend
Nanette: It was short lived. We were only seeing each other âofficiallyâ for 2 weeks. I donât like to introduce people to you all unless weâve been together for at least 6 months.
VaniVee: omg 6 months??? is this why ive never met any of your girlfriends nan?? >:((
TUCKerware: we met stphanie!
ranger danger: stephanieeeeeeee she was so cooooooool
VaniVee: i donât remember a stephanie :((
Nanette: She wasnât worth remembering. After the second time she told me sheâd quit cocaine and she didnât, I realized that it wasnât worth the effort.
no: COCAINE
no: NAN WHAT
no: THATS WHAT HAPPENED TO HER???
ranger danger: y i k e s
Nanette: This is why I donât introduce you all to my girlfriends.
ranger danger: bc you always pick the bad ones?
Nanette: That, and because introducing them to you all is like introducing them to the family. Thereâs no point in introducing you all to someone who I donât think will be permanent.
VaniVee: aww nettieeeee ; 3; ilyyyyyy
TUCKerware: nanny ilysm
no: <3<3
ranger danger: none of you all love nan as much as me
ranger danger: i love u baby <3
VaniVee: wait but what happened with this girlfriend???
ranger danger: yeah why so soon
TUCKerware: u kno i thro dwn 4 u nan
TUCKerware: say th word n i GOTCHu
Nanette: Said by the same man who calls me ânanny.â
TUCKerware: nuuuuuuuuuuuu
TUCKerware: ur liek my mom nannyyyyyy
ranger danger: can u imagine nan being a mother because i canât
ranger danger: i feel like sheâd leave her kids at the mall if they pissed her off
VaniVee: i canât see nan being pregnant tbh,,,,, . n.;;;;
ranger danger: GAG
TUCKERware: mby getting sm1⌠:eyes:
Nanette: When I went on a date with her this afternoon, she brought up the topic of marriage.
no: I love how nan immediately ignored all of you haha
Nanette: I was a little taken aback since like I said weâd only been talking for two weeks at this point.
ranger danger: gag
VaniVee: âŚ.. how did she bring it up?
Nanette: She said: âI was scrolling on your instagram, babe, and I see that you take a lot of pictures with the same few people, but definitely with this one guy. Who is he?â She then showed me a picture from my page of Ranger and I.
ranger danger: which picture
Nanette: The ferris wheel one. When we went to Kony Island for my cousinâs wedding.
ranger danger: lmao the one from like 3 years ago
ranger danger: why is she scrolling back so far lmaooo
ranger danger: my hair was so bad in that picture
Nanette: I think she picked that photo because on the third picture, you were kissing my cheek.
VaniVee: i somehow feel like i know where this is going ;;;;;;
Nanette: Iâm sure you do, Vani.
no: I donât.
TUCKerware: nithr do i frfr
ranger danger: she jealous or something
Nanette: I assume so. I told her that you were my best friend, and she said âOh, so like a gay best friend? Like, gay lesbian solidarity?â
ranger danger: at least she clocked me for not straight l m a o
TUCKerware: i dnt hve a gaydar bt mine goez off whnevr ur around
no: I had a nightmare about ranger being straight once.
ranger danger: god donât tell me about it
ranger danger: u may give me nightmares lmao
VaniVee: what did you say nan??? :00
Nanette: I told her that Ranger was bi, so you could call it âqueer solidarity.â However, weâve known each other for 16 years so he is genuinely just one of my best friends. I wasnât sure how else to respond to her question.
ranger danger: why do i feel like she asked u if weâd ever fucked before
ranger danger: like âoh is that how u realized u were gayâ
ranger danger: as tho m/f friendships canât exist lmao
TUCKerware: bt u nd nan DO fck smtms
ranger danger: i mean but thatâs irrelevant to the conversation l m a o
ranger danger: if nan got a girl and didnât wanna fuck me cuz of that i mean thatâs chill
Nanette: You arenât necessarily wrong. She didnât seem to like my answer when I said that you were bi, so I asked if there was some kind of problem with that, or what she was trying to imply. She then said that she wasnât sure she wanted the two of us to be so close.
no: Like in general?
Nanette: Yes. As friends. I didnât mention anything about sex.
VaniVee: :////////////
ranger danger: LOLOLOLOL
no: uhâŚ.
TUCKerware: lls iz she joshin
ranger danger: IâM SORRY
ranger danger: IMAGINE THINKING YOU CAN INFLUENCE SOMETHING THATâS BEEN AROUND SINCE BEFORE YOUâD BEEN THOUGHT OF
ranger danger: its the audacity for me
no: Whatâs wrong with you and ranger being friends? Youâre literally dating *her*, arenât you?
Nanette: Thatâs when the wedding part of her question came up. She asked: âSince you all are so close, would he be like, the best man at our wedding?â
ranger danger: if u ever get married nan, i fucking better be
ranger danger: i will cry if iâm not
VaniVee: speaking of weddings, i was going to ask you to be my maid of honor whenever i get married nan!! ; 3;
VaniVee: i would love to see you in a champagne dress it would match ur skintone so well ; 3;
Nanette: Vani I would do anything for you.
VaniVee: OR!!! you could wear a champagne jumpsuit if youâd like!
VaniVee: i just want to see you in champagne!!!!
VaniVee: or rose gold?? :000
TUCKerware: wht colors wld u prefer vani?
ranger danger: wouldnât you like to know, lover boy
TUCKerware: Shut The Fuck Up.
ranger danger: LMAO he had to use big boy words for that one roge
no: hahahaha
Nanette: I told her that it would be too early to consider a wedding between the two of us, and as it were, I would marry Ranger before I married her. However, if I were to get married to anyone else, he would be my best man without question.
ranger danger: nan what are you saying
ranger danger: like bby if you wanted to get hitched thatâs all you had to say <3
Nanette: When do you want to go to the courthouse?
ranger danger: oh my god forreal
Nanette: I need health insurance.
ranger danger: TOO RIGHT
ranger danger: but no seriously would you actually marry me
ranger danger: not in like a romantic way because like
ranger danger: ew
ranger danger: but in a platonic way?
ranger danger: like ur my soulmate nan
ranger danger: u get me.
ranger danger: i know iâm like ur side hoe but like hear me out
no: Is ranger proposing in our group chat right now?
TUCKerware: shhhhhhh i gt th popcorn
ranger danger: ur the only person i would ever want to sign off on my medical shit
ranger danger: and like owning a house with you sounds lit?
ranger danger: i know we donât have to be married to do that but like
ranger danger: nan idk how to tell u that ur my favorite person on planet earth
Nanette: You just did lol.
ranger danger: NO BUT LIKE
ranger danger: i know you donât know what i mean but you know what i mean
ranger danger: right???
ranger danger: ugh finish your story iâm thinking way too hard about this
Nanette: If itâs any consolation, I donât think youâre thinking about this too hard. In any relationship that Iâm in, if they arenât cool with you then Iâm not interested in them. You come first for me, always.
VaniVee: IâM CRYING??? THIS IS SO SWEET?????
ranger danger: YOUâRE CRYING IâM WEEPING
ranger danger: NAN WTF DONâT VALIDATE ME LIKE THIS
ranger danger: IâM A NUISANCE
Nanette: Yes, but youâre my nuisance. My favorite headache.
ranger danger: even over ur girl tho ??
ranger danger: i guess i donât know what youâd be getting out of getting hitched with me
ranger danger: arenât marriages supposed to be like a romantic thing ??
ranger danger: idk u allos explain this to me
no: Well technically marriageâs are just saying this is someone I trust enough to conjoin taxes with for the rest of my life.
no: So I donât see why you and nan couldnât get married.
no: Youâre both financially capable to have a successful union
TUCKerware: lls rogeeeee
no: Is it obvious that my views on a successful marriage have been skewed?
VaniVee: iâve heard about friends getting married all the time!!! aside from all the benefits like roge is talking about, being best friends and wanting to put that relationship before anything else isnât weird!!!! iâve seen people talking about it online!!!! especially aromantic people!!!
ranger danger: huh
ranger danger: sometimes i feel like iâm bad at being queer lol i know nothing about this stuff
TUCKerware: sme bro
TUCKerware: bt liek. its not liek theres a LAW sayng u gtta b in LUV to be married
TUCKerware: liek ukno romanticlaly
ranger danger: *romantically
TUCKerware: so if u and nan want to get married because you feel the most comfortable with each other and no one else can get between you two, why not?
ranger danger: damn he used real words for me and everything
Nanette: Itâs not something we have to make a decision on right this second or anything. But I do hope you know that your fondness is more than definitely reciprocated, Ranger.
ranger danger: iâm actually crying at work rn i hate yâall
TUCKerware: dnt get it in2 th beeeerrrrr
TUCKerware: i shld pck u up frm wrk 2day
TUCKerware: im arnd there rn lol
TUCKerware: wht time u gt off?
ranger danger: whenever youâre clocking in big boy
ranger danger: iâll see myself out
TUCKerware: ;))))
ranger danger: i get off at like 9 i came in early tonight so iâm coming home with shit money
VaniVee: :((((((
VaniVee: but that means youâre free this weekend right!!!! RIGHT???? >:((
ranger danger: LMAO yes queen i took off for our sleepover
VaniVee: good <3
VaniVee: and roge, youâre still coming right?? you can bring mittens!!
Nanette: Ah, yes. The Feline.
no: <3<3<3 Iâll be heading over in a bit! Iâll stop by the store to get some extra food, if you donât mind me using your kitchen, Vani?
VaniVee: roge i am begging you to use my kitchen.
VaniVee: I GOT A LAZY SUSAN SPICE RACK JUST FOR YOU!!!!
no: Vani!!!! Youâre too sweet!!!! No!!!! Iâm gonna make you so much cake!!!!
VaniVee: YES!!!! CAKE!!!!! <3<3<3
ranger danger: also donât worry future wife i have ur allergy meds
Nanette: Thank you, future husband <3
ranger danger: !!!!!!
ranger danger: i think that just killed me actually
TUCKerware: llssssss
VaniVee: im gonna start setting up for the sleepover!! see yâall soon!! ilyyy <3
TUCKerware: ily2!
ranger danger: see how heâs the first to respond roge lol
no: hahaha
TUCKerware: I Will Shit In Your Mouth
ranger danger: do it pussy
Nanette: Boys, behave.
no: See yâall soon!
ranger danger: my boss is yelling at me to get off my phone lol whOOps
Nanette: Vani, Iâll be there soon.
VaniVee: kk <3<3
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THIS IS THE WEIRDEST FUCKING TRAIN JOURNEY IVE EVER BEEN ON, I WAS LOOKING FOR THE BATHROOM AND FULLY WALKED INTO THE DRIVER'S PIT.
bearing in mind, when i boarded i walked lengthways - you know, like you tend to do on a train - and ended up in a kitchen (???) so i had to walk off and reboard the NEXT carriage (apparently the kitchen is for first class. I presumed first class would be an included ~fancy~ microwave meal, but there was fully a steel crockpot on an induction hob)
Anyway! THE DOOR WAS NOT LOCKED. IT WASN'T EVEN SHUT. I WAS JUST WALKED INTO WHAT LOOKED LIKE A TINY CORRIDOR WITH A GUY ON A STIIL AND I WAS LIKE; "Erm... sorry... bathroom..." and he said "two carriages back" wasn't even bothered.
Meanwhile I've been getting accosted by a dude talking about how "If you're a straight, white, male, you get treated worse than shit on your shoe" He saw me roll my eyes then plonked himself next to me because he thought I was AGREEING with him.
What's sad is the main crux of his argument was that he got divorced during covid lockdown, and because of lockdown he couldn't find a new place and became homeless. He said the charities prioritised women and "the greeks" (???) but - putting aside reasons why housing women should probably take priority - i doubt how true his accounts are anyway since five minutes earlier he was talking about being thrown off a train in Crewe for "fingerblasting a bird in the aisle"
Anyway, I managed to quickly baffle him by saying last month I had to go to court because a guy got aggressive with me for being gay (it was to do with being trans but we're trapped in a metal box so lets not go there) and after reliving some nasty parts of my year the guy was declared not guilty and now knows my full name due to court proceedings-
-Sorry, getting sidetracked. Some drunk guy who looks like Johny Vegas has started screaming "SHEEP SHAGGING BASTARDS!!!!" down the carriage like he is not on a welsh train in wales. anyway-
-So yeah he did get thrown off. "man, i'm sorry that happened. i dont care if you're gay, straight, whatever. i just hate bi people." me: ??? "your face says thats not okay" not really, no. "WELL! I have a MATE who is bi and he's supposed to be my WINGMAN! but he need to decide, because if he go to the club and hes on the lads then whatever. fone, awesome. but if im chatting up a bird then why can't he go dor the ugly one đĄ" ... "it's not fair" he has more game than you, doesn't he- "OF COURSE HE DOES! the girls LOVE THAT!"
anyway, there is no point to this post, i just had a weird fucking journey. i hope that guy's bisexual friend gets some good dick and/or pussy soon
transport for wales will charge you 6 million pounds to take a 2hr train and there wont even be a fucking bathroom
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petition to call this color new vegas blue
#working on a commission and i just picked a random color for the bg while i sketched#and the second i put this shade of blue-green down my brain started looping big iron#fun fact ive been playing the same save of new vegas on and off for three years now and i love it and.#i have barely progressed in the main quest or any of the dlcs yet#i just boot it up. walk around. do my silly little low stakes sidequests. and forget about the game for a month#i literally play fnv to listen to the radio#maybe i can beat it this year. perhaps.#on a similar note ive played some death trash (early access) and it has great fallout vibes. wish there was a radio there#the devs said they'll improve stealth for the full release which im really excited about bc its already v solid even in this more combat-fo#-focused state. not perfect but good enough to make a rogue build fun to play#im not a fan of pure stealth games (rip mark of the ninja) but i loooove being a stealth archer / sniper on rpgs#its just like. you cant see me lol
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how to ask a girl out ; spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid (criminal minds) x reader
summary: elle sees an opportunity to teach spencer about asking a girl out. 3275 words
a/n: based on this scene. this is the longest fic ive ever written so sorry if itâs a painful readÂ
Spencer feels creepy staring at you like this.
Thereâs no other way to put it. He feels like heâs twelve again, the youngest in his Las Vegas high school, staring at all the pretty girls that get his heart racing just by existing. But youâre more enchanting than those girls. He could watch you do anything, he thinks, because no matter what youâre doing you look picture perfect, like you donât have a single bad angle.
Spencer still has the social skills of twelve year old him, though. Especially when dealing with cute people.
âYou know,â The voice makes Spencer jump, âIf you stare long enough, she just might notice.â
Elle is smirking with her arms crossed, shooting Spencer an incriminating look. He tenses.
Seeing his discomfort, Elle relents, âIâm teasing, Reid.â He visibly relaxes against the door frame heâs half hiding behind, half leaning against.
âIâm not trying to be weird.â He mumbles. Elle thinks he sounds like a kid that was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
âI know youâre not. Have you⌠spoken to her?â
Youâre somewhat new to the unit. Some kind of assistant to JJ who joined several months ago (three months and three days, if Spencer counted correctly) (he did), which means the team donât see you that much, just enough that youâve been the topic of discussion a few times. It doesnât help that JJ sings your praise, and Hotch recently revealed you made yourself available for babysitting his new-born if he ever needs it. Every time someone mentions you, itâs followed by some kind of compliment. Everyone loves you. Spencer has said all of five words to you, and heâs smitten.
âHi. Iâm Spencer. A doctor.â
When you were introduced you didnât pay him much attention. He canât blame you, it was overwhelming for you â being introduced to a whole bunch of FBI agents and then thrown head-first into sorting cases for them. But Spencer paid attention. He couldnât tear his eyes away. Derekâs caught him staring one too many times, but it isnât Spencerâs fault he canât stop thinking about you. You enter the room and Spencerâs attention is pulled to you, like a magnet.
Derek thinks itâs time he made a move. Spencer agreed and maintained that confidence for all of fifteen minutes, until he heard your joyful laugh dance down the hallway and his tongue felt too heavy to form words.
Thatâs when Elle noticed.
Across the room, youâre laughing at something Derek said with JJ. Seeing you smile makes Spencer smile, and Elle nudges him.
âHave you considered approaching her? Rather than, you know, watching her from afar like sheâs prey?â
Spencer huffs, âYou think I havenât tried?â
Every time heâs moved to start a conversation, he finds himself unable to complete a single sentence. After he says hello, then what? He dies?
Elle breathes through her nose in frustration. âSheâs a nice girl. Iâve spoken to her a couple of times. She mentioned the other day she wants to visit the local museum, since she just moved and hasnât really explored yet. Shame no one is available to accompany her, right?â
âAre you implying something?â
âYes.â
âI-I donât. I canât-â
âYou canât or you wonât?â
Spencerâs always admired Elleâs ability to be blunt and fearless. But he isnât Elle, Elle isnât him, so to him it doesnât feel like he simply chooses to pussy out of talking to you â it feels like heâs physically constrained. Like heâs fighting against the tide of the ocean to reach you, and he keeps getting pushed back, further and further away from you.
Elleâs eyes shift between you and Spencer, like sheâs watching a tennis match. âJust go up and ask her. Itâs that simple. If she says no, she says no. No big deal!â
Spencer shakes his head, âI canât do that. Itâs Y/N! Sheâs-sheâs-â
âA normal human being. You know, like you and me? The second you start putting people on pedestals is when things start falling apart.â She pats him on the shoulder as encouragement, âHave some confidence, Reid.â
And she walks away, as if just telling him to have some confidence will make him suddenly have the courage to whisk you off your feet.
He wishes he could whisk you off your feet.
+++
The paperwork is never ending. Times like this, Spencer considers recanting his stance on technology â maybe having everything on an online database would be a good idea. The stacks upon stacks around him would agree.
A paper ball hits the back of Spencerâs head.
He turns, slowly, and Elle gives a wave from her desk. âHi.â
âHi.â
âCan I⌠help you?â
âYes, you can.â She nods to the paper on the floor, âRead it.â
He leans and grabs the ball from the floor, opening it with furrowed brows.
Step 1: Actually talk to her.
Suddenly, Elle is standing right next to him, looking all-too-pleased with herself. She leans over him.
âWhat does this mean?â
âYou wanna date Y/N? Talk to her. That means marching right up to her pretty little face and saying more than, like, a few words to her. You need to have a conversation with her to let her know youâre interested.â
Elleâs clearly confident in her plan, but it seems sheâs forgetting an important detail â this is Spencer that sheâs dealing with. Not Derek, who can charm anyone out of anything (or into anything), not Hotch who, when he wants to be, is the smoothest criminal ever. Not even Gideon, with his soft eyes that make anyone that stares into them feel safe. Heâs Spencer Reid who, according to one guy, looks like a pipe cleaner with eyes.
Spencerâs hesitant to take any of Elleâs advice.
âWhat would I⌠say to her?â He asks. If he does talk to you, what does he even say? Do you even want to talk to him? What if you immediately hate him and JJ beats him up? She could do it. Heâs seen her guns.
Elle looks at him incredulously, âReid! Câmon! Anything! Ask how her day has been, if she had a good weekend, are there plans for this weekend⌠Literally anything.â Spencer gives a look of distrust, âYouâll know if sheâs interested, trust me. Sheâll reciprocate. If she doesnât, sheâs not up for it, and thereâs your answer without even asking her out.â
At that moment, you and JJ appear from thin air, whispering to one another with your arms full of files. Both Spencer and Elleâs watchful gazes follow you right up until JJâs office door is clicked shut and when you can only slightly be seen through the blinds, Spencer still stares. Elle hits him over the head.
âPay attention!â
âSheâs distracting!â
âShe walked by you, not gave you a lap dance! Focus on the plan!â
With a sigh, he looks back to the crumpled paper in his hands. âWhatâs step two?â
The paperâs yanked out of his hands and Elle furiously scribbles something before handing it back to him.
Step 2: Make her laugh.
âI canât do that.â
She scoffs, âReid.â
âPeople laugh at me, Elle, not with me. The only way sheâll laugh is if I make a complete fool of myself and when I do that, Iâm running away and never looking back. Youâll never see me again.â
Sick of the self-deprecation, Elle leans close to Spencerâs face and begins to whisper menacingly.
âListen, bud,â She threatens, âYou need to stop being so hard on yourself. Youâre young, youâre inexperienced â thatâs why approaching Y/N is so terrifying. Not because sheâs out of your league, or youâre not good enough, itâs because youâve never done this before. Itâs simply a fear of stepping out of your comfort zone, so stop being so hard on yourself.â
Spencer isnât sure how to respond, silently wishing something could get him out of this situation. Heâs not used to being complimented so ferociously.
God answers his prayers. In the worst way possible.
âIncoming. Make her laugh, Reid.â Elle says, slinking off back to her desk.
Spencer quickly realises youâre approaching and his hands grip the armrests of his chair. Heâs not ready for this. He wishes he had time to prepare, maybe google how to woo a woman, but youâre in front of him, all precious smiles with a manila folder in your hand.
âHi, Doctor Reid.â
Your voices sounds like heaven. He canât help but think, despite only listening to classical music, he could listen to your voice and only your voice if given the option. Itâs like honey, sweet and smooth, and something inside him stirs. Everything about you is lovely.
He clears his throat and nervously wipes at his nose, âHey. What can I do for you?â
âI was told to bring this to you,â You hand him the folder, âAnd JJ wanted me to check up on you. She said youâve been working non-stop and that you probably consumed your bodyweight in coffee with enough sugar to give a small army diabetes. My guess is she wants to check your heart is still beating.â
Spencer laughs at that, which encourages you to giggle along. He freezes when he sees the way your eyes scrunch and smile widens when you laugh â heâd only seen it from a distance, up close it feels intimate and causes his throat to tighten. When your laughter dies, youâre left with an awkward silence as he stares. You shuffle your feet.
Elle is trying to look like she isnât paying attention, but in her head sheâs screaming at Spencer to say something!!!
âSorry for disturbing you if youâre â um â if youâre busy.â You gesture to the mess on Spencerâs desk, and itâs then that he realises how his silence couldâve looked â to him, you quite literally took his breath away, but to you? Heâs a weirdo that is still holding the file mid-air and hasnât said a thing for far too long.
âNo! No,â Spencer brushes his hair back, âThank you for the file. JJâs right, I should probably take a break-â
He looks up then. This is his chance, right?
âAre you busy right now?â
You glance around and your eyes find JJâs office, where sheâs signalling for you to come over, âYeah. Sorry.â
It feels like a punch in the gut â is this rejection? â but thereâs a look of sadness that crosses your face. Your mouth falls at the edges and your brows slightly crease â do you wish you werenât busy?
If Spencer didnât feel like heâs seconds away from vomiting, heâd ask. Maybe. That sounds a whole lot like flirting and he isnât sure he can handle that.
You quickly leave, not before you tell him to look after himself (his heart swells), and the second youâre far enough away Elle is marching right over and throwing the paper at him, again, even though sheâs standing right in front of him.
âShe rejected me.â
âYea- wait, what?â Elle starts to celebrate, but stops at her words, âNo she didnât. Did we see different things?â
âIt sure felt like rejection. Felt weird.â
âThat was the perfect chance to ask her to go out after work or maybe on the weekend, but, in your defence, thatâs a Derek-level response and weâre not quite there yet. Step three, go.â
Spencer unfolds the paper ball begrudgingly, wondering if any of this is actually worth it.
Step 3: Get JJ to back the fuck up.
Spencer laughs.
âEither you tell JJ you like her assistant and ask for her help, or you tell JJ you like her assistant and that she needs to stop using her so much.â Elle sounds matter-of-fact and confident.
âYou want me to tell JJ to stop giving her assistant work?â Spencer asks, face scrunched.
With a shrug, Elle says, âOr you could ask her to help you. She knows the most about Y/N.â
Looking up to JJâs office, he realises how true Elleâs statement is. JJ knows you better than anyone else here, youâve quickly become good friends, and JJ wouldnât lie to Spencer about you if it involved his feelings. He trusts JJ like that.
But then you throw your head back in laughter, a hearty laugh that JJ follows with her own tinkling chuckle, and Spencer is reminded of the sinking feeling heâs had when heâs been rejected before. The emotional slap in the face that causes you to lose all confidence. In his head, he rationalises that attempting to ask you out is pointless. You wonât like him, scrawny profiler who follows his team members like a lost puppy, the guy unable to maintain eye contact for more than four seconds. The logical side, however, the side that runs the show when Spencer is on a case and hides his feelings, tells him he has nothing to lose. Morgan would be proud of him, not ashamed, because Spencer had the guts to ask someone out â Spencer! Elle would understand and tell him something about learning for next time, and the rest of the team wouldnât really care.
He has nothing to lose and everything to gain. A date with you? A relationship with you? Thatâd feel like winning the lottery. It feels more likely than winning the lottery, too.
Then Morgan walks past him, more like swaggers, all good looks and charm and everything Spencer doesnât have.
Spencer decides heâll save himself the rejection.
+++
JJ gets involved without Spencer realising. He connects the dots on the way back to Virginia, after a case in which you were brought along instead of JJ.
There was a âfamily emergencyâ, apparently, after the debrief and right before take-off. Although it wasnât your first case, it was your first time travelling with the team. When you pad in, sparkling eyes gliding all around the jet, Spencer zeroes in on the gruesome scene photos to avoid being caught staring.
You fit into the role flawlessly. Itâs like you were born for the part, effortlessly slipping into the job of communicator between the team and the police force, standing fearlessly in front of the press as they piled on the pressure.
In the conference room where the team set up, he noticed you actively try to stay out of the way whilst simultaneously help in any way you could. You offered coffee every two hours (Spencer counted), cleaned up any and all rubbish the team left around â burger wrappers, useless post-it notes â and mothered the team by reminding them they need breaks, too.
At the hotel, you jokingly poked Spencer in the shoulder and said, âNo more coffee for you. Youâll get a sugar rush and wonât be able to sleep.â
âLike a toddler?â
âExactly like a toddler. Straight to bed for you.â
You grinned at eachother before you separated to go to your rooms. Around three am, Spencer instinctively went to make himself a drink but stopped and thought of you. He decided for that night, just that night, he could get a somewhat decent amount of sleep.
Now, on the flight home, Gideon pauses before his move in their third game of chess to stare at something behind Spencerâs shoulder. When he notices, Spencer turns to see what has his mentorâs attention and stutters when itâs you. You, looking like youâre straight out of a cheesy romance movie when you push your hair back while reading your book.
Gideon switches from staring at you to staring at Spencer.
âSheâs a pretty girl, huh?â
Spencer knows where this is going.
âElle told me youâre sweet on her.â
âElle shouldnât have said anything.â
âElle has been watching you two the entire case.â
âElle-â
Gideon clears his throat, making Spencer finally make eye contact, âYou scared? Worried?â
âAbout what?â Spencer asks.
âRejection. If sheâll laugh in your face, say something about never wanting anyone like you.â
Sometimes, Spencer is terrified of Gideonâs ability to read people. He swears he has this inhuman ability to take a peek into peopleâs minds, read their most intrusive and negative thoughts, and confront them about them. Like heâs doing to Spencer now.
âSomething like that, yeah,â Spencer murmurs. He shuffles uncomfortably in his seat, âItâs your move.â
âI know.â Gideon nods to you, making Spencer look again, âDonât you think, in twenty yearsâ time, youâd want to look back at this moment and be glad you asked? No matter the outcome? Rather than wondering if sheâd said yes, asking all kinds of what-ifsâŚâ
âYouâre telling me to ask her out?â
Gideon gives Spencer a smile that fills him with confidence. He doesnât know what it is, but he trusts Gideon with his whole life. If he tells him to go for it, then he should go for it, right?
âI happen to know the Virginia museum is having a deal on tickets if you order them online. Might be something to look into.â He sounds borderline smug now.
With one last look to Gideon, he stands and slowly waddles to the chair opposite you.
âMind if I sit?â He asks, a hand gently resting on the back of the empty seat. You startle slightly at the unexpected voice, but gesture for him to sit with a smile.
âHow are you feeling?â You wonder, squinting slightly as the sun shines in your eyes. It makes them sparkle, and Spencer has never understood wanting to drown in someoneâs eyes until that moment.
âJust glad the case is over. You did a great job, by the way, filling in for JJ last minute.â Spencer is surprised that his voice doesnât crack or stop completely.
You beam at the praise, âThank you. JJâs got some big boots to fill, even if itâs for one case.â
He shrugs and pulls a face as if youâve said something ridiculous, âDonât sell yourself short. When she realises how good you are, sheâll start taking all kinds of holidays.â He jokes.
He canât help but grin when you laugh.
Elle passes. In the very brief eye contact they make, Elleâs eyes are wide and jumping from you to Spencer, Spencer to you. Sheâs sending him a message, and he bets Gideon is watching, too.
âHey,â He starts, leaning on the table between you. You instinctively lean closer, too, which Spencer takes as a positive sign, âHow would you.. likeâŚâ
He has to take a second to inhale a shaky breath and nervously push his hair behind his ears. You wait, all patient and divine, and his eyes dash around your face.
âTo go to the museum with me?â
It comes out rushed and you look confused. âHuh?â
Spencer tries again, after clearing his throat, âHow would you like to go to the museum with me? When we get back. As a date.â
âYouâre asking me on a date?â
ââŚYes?â
If you werenât staring directly at him, heâd think you were making fun of him and about to unleash a nice bout of rejection.
You move one hand to lean your face against, moving in a little closer, âI would love that.â
Spencer is speechless. You would love that?
âOh- wow. Yeah, thanks. Good.â
Who says thanks when someone agrees to go on a date with them?
You giggle.
âWeâll plan when we get back?â You ask.
âYes. Definitely.â He nods three times.
You canât help but bite your lip, heâs too cute, and it immediately draws Spencerâs attention.
Behind you both, Gideon turns to Elle. âSuccess.â
Elle rolls her head against the back of her seat and stares out the window, âStep four: Get Gideon to get the job done.â
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic#mine#this is incredibly self indulgent because i would give anything to go on a museum date with spencer or mgg#also this was longer before editing and originally included a whole thing with a male police officer being interested in reader but it was#already SO LONG
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https://youtu.be/B4vFMJBGgWA
Jihope bestfriends i fear đ
And have you seen the music shows army bomb? Jimin and hobi had so many moments in that short video, they're besties for real
(Side note i'm baby army - since a few months ago - and from what i've seen jihope keeps interacting ALL the time, even in their private time (like in las vegas or lolla or that match they went to see together, or visiting jungkook together). Have they always been like this or is it new? Their friendship is not that popular in the fandom from what i've seen? Which is so weird because ever since i joined the fandom, they keep proving that they really are best friends who adore and can't live without each other. Like someone said, jimin is hobi's hobi and hobi is jimin's jimin. I'm so glad they have each other)
THEYYYYYYY pls theyre so funny and cute, could not stop playing around with each other the whole time 𼺠also jhope knitting. furthest i will get with my jhope crocheting agenda .
also omg only a few months welcome welcome !!! ive been solidly into bts since 2018, and as far as i remember jihope have always been very close its very sweet :') i think they've spoken about hitting it off very early on because they're both dancers. i also remember some docu series (i forget which one ..đ) scenes with jihope hanging out and shopping together a lot in their down time. so yes they're very close and have been for a long time! but you're so right, for some reason their friendship isnt that popular in the fandom even though i think they have such a lovely and special dynamic :( they have such a profound respect and admiration in each other, they have been roomates for about a decade so they know how to push each other but also the kind of love each other needs. :') i know we all know who the more popular friendships/"ships" are ....đ so unfortunately i've noticed hoseoks' relationship with jimin and also all the members is often overlooked :((( that being said, i dont really mind that no one really puts their weird invasive relationship microscope over them bcs what they have is truly so special and beautiful that i want them to get to keep it all to themselves <3
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favorite fics of 2020 (and a goodbye)
hi all!
first, i wanted to say this is inspired by one of my closest friends my bitch @honeybunstarker . thank u for thatÂ
secondly, i wanted to say a final goodbye. i know that i nearly left a few months ago, but i was still on the fence about writing for marvel then. now, ive lost all interest. thank you all for fueling my love for writing, and making these past two (??? i actually donât know) years full of excitement and encouragement! from the ups (the blocklist, secret santa) to the downs (my favorite blogs and friends deactivating without a word), ive had the greatest time in this fandom.Â
in case you were worried, i am NOT deactivating. my fics will be available for you to read whenever you want.
but, i will not be writing for marvel anymore, nor will i be posting on this blog.
now that the sad part is done, i didn't want to leave you guys without anything to entertain yourselves with. so, here are my favorite fics, including some non-marvel, from this year!Â
(all descriptions are from the work itself)
my top fic from this year, which is also one of my favorite fics of all time, is a dog named sunshine.
âBucky Barnes has issues. Mental health issues, and a whole lot of them, to be precise. Bucky is fucked up, and he knows that. His apartment looks like a dumping ground on most days, he canât sleep through the night, sometimes he doesnât shower for six days and doesnât leave the house except to see his therapist once a week. Mostly, Bucky has no idea how the whole âtalking about your problemsâ thing is supposed to help him, but sometimes his therapist has some really great ideas. Like getting a dog. Which is how Bucky meets Steve. Steve has blond hair and shoulders as broad as Buckyâs future if he wouldnât suffer from depression and multiple mental disorders, and a waist as small as Buckyâs self-esteem. Steve also has a yellowish dog with floppy ears called Sunshine. And sunshine makes its way into Buckyâs life with a bounce in its step.â
a modern stucky fic which portrays depression in the best way i have seen in a fic so far. unfortunately, it has been orphaned before being finished :(
starker:
hey baby, slip between my beta-pleats and get to know my alpha-helix? By @starkerforlife6969â and @darker-soft-starkerâ
âEven though Tony can't tell the difference between Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo, Peter really has no other choice.
His heat is around the corner, so even though he loathes the party-going, booze drinking, smug playboy know-it-all that is Tony Stark-
He'll just have to do.â
if you asked me what my favorite starker fic of all time is, iâd tell you itâs this one
raising hybrid puppies by jaypendragon
âA non-powered Tony/Peter coffee shop AU with billionaire Tony and working-class, teenage Peter. Also, Toomes has a bakery and somehow Last Week Tonight is a genuine plot point.â
underage, slowburn, happy endingÂ
even though itâs one of the most notorious fics for the ship, i never read it until the summer.Â
waiting for marriage by tuesdayÂ
âIn which Tony gets married and kidnapped in that order.
â
Tony Stark went to Vegas to cause a scandal.â
just super fun!
push you out (pull you back in) by @lovelystarkerâ
âSo basically, Peter's kind of fucked. And not in the way that he wants to be-preferably by his mother's hot new boyfriend who has beautiful brown eyes and a disposition that's more than put-together. It wouldn't be so hard to ignore the crush, really it wouldn't, but Mr. Stark has practically moved in, so Peter can't avoid him if he wants to, and unlike his mom's past boyfriends, this one actually likes to spend time with him. So yeah, Peter's kind of fucked.â
just,,, wow. important to note that it is unfinished.
stucky:
you go to my head by alby_mangroves and brideofquiet
âWhy would you do that for a man you donât know?â Bucky asks.
Steve raises one slow eyebrow at him, then the other, till his expression turns from skepticism to disbelief. His forefinger and thumb reach into his shirtâs front pocket and draw out a wrinkled dollar bill.
Steve looks him in the eye when he says, very patiently, âFor money, Bucky.â
40â˛s stucky is my favorite stucky
that boy is a problem by 2best friends
âIn which a twinky little goth punk named Bucky puts a leash around Steve's dick and he's really into it.
(The leash is a metaphor. For now.)â
just porn
all the angels and the saints by speranzaÂ
âIn which Steve Rogers loses God and finds God and loses God, and also: Bucky.â
if it makes you cry, itâs probably good!
sugar sweet by colorcoatedÂ
âCollege Student Bucky finds himself immediately attracted to Steve. He knows that Steve's a bit older than him, and that Steve himself is put off by the age difference. . . But that doesn't stop Bucky from wanting to climb him like a tree.â
the only slowburn i have toleratedÂ
my bucky by cleo4u2 and xantissaÂ
âBucky finds a feral Alpha in the woods. Rather, the Alpha finds him. Bucky is sure itâs the end of his life as an independant Omega. It turns out to be the beginning of the strangest romance Buckyâs ever known.â
stony:
(i want you to see) the darkest side of me by ann2who
âIn Monte Carlo, Steve meets the wealthy widower Anthony Stark. Itâs love at first sightâat least for Steveâand he canât believe his luck when Tony asks him to live at Stark Mansion, his large estate in Malibu. Never in his life had Steve thought something like this was possible⌠never had he been this happy. However, soon Steve realizes that Tony is still deeply troubled by the death of his first wife and haunted by the many ghosts she left behind. The longer Steve lives in her shadow, the more he understands that⌠He can never be what Tonyâs wife had once been for him. And Tony might never truly love him.â
total mindfuck.
ironstrange:
let it be by lucifersfavoritechild
âWhile dealing with his son's car accident and a rapidly-dissolving marriage, Tony is drawn to Peter's surgeon, Dr. Stephen Strange.â
where severus snape is hot, not a stalker, and somehow gets the girl by utopiste
âOr: Peter Parker is sick and wants to cut his Neuroscience class. Tony just wants to help (and maybe date his son's hot teacher). Stephen Strange just wants to give his lecture in peace.â
miscellaneous:
geraskier: who needs plans anyways by NTK
âAll witchers are alphas or betas by nature, since no omega has ever survived the Trial of the Grasses. Gerald has never had any problems with satisfying his needs on the occasional rut, for the whores from Poviss to Nilfgard were eager to be of service to a sturdy hunk like him. On the other hand, a certain omega/ bard/ occasional witcher tagalong has always made certain to acquire enough suppressants from local healers before setting out on a new adventure. That is, until the travels with his favourite White Wolf led the unlike pair into uncharted territory for longer than expected⌠life ensuesâ
philtriss: bound by sapphiresmoke
âLeashing involves a pupil being bound to their master in body, mind, and magic,â Philippa explained, folding her hands on the desk in front of her. âIt is not something to undertake lightly, but if you accept, I will be able to share my magic with you, and instruct you in ways that would be otherwise be impossible if I were to only rely on verbal communication. It is intimate, it is at times invasive, but if you consent to this, Triss, it will make you vastlymore powerful, and from the look in your eyes, that seems to be exactly what you are looking for.â
vandermatthews: one more night like this would put me six feet under by jukeboxgraduate
âTo be alongside the same person week after week, to share honesty and trust with someone day after day, is a rare treasure in a life that hinges on dishonesty. Hosea holds it close to his heart.â
din/cobb: every wave is a tidal if you hang around by wolfhallsÂ
âDin comes to Mos Pelgo, and finds a lot more than he was looking for.â
and finally, rough day by @no-droidsâ, because we all need to be a little indulgent sometimes.
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EVER SINCE NEW YORK IV | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER
Description: I was messaged saying: âIf you donât write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then whatâs the point đ.â So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic. Cover by @timey-wimey-loviâ!
PART 4! Read Part 3 here!
SOUNDTRACK:
Let Me Know - Clear Eyes.
Friends - Ed Sheeran.
Perfect Places - Lorde.
Word Count: 4,551.
Rating: M.
Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, drinking, recreational drug use, a bit of angst.
Fall, Junior Year.
Tisch School of the Arts,Â
New York University.
New York City.Â
âWeâre going out tonight,â Claire said, plopping down on your bed.Â
âOh? We are?â You replied, a notebook in your lap, and your back resting against the pillows.
âYes. There is a welcome back party on campus tonight and weâre going.â
âI donât feel like partying,â you sighed. âWe just moved back in. Thereâs still so much left to do, to unpack.â
âGuess what? Itâll be here when we get back. And weâll have all of tomorrow to decorate. But right now, weâre juniors, weâre thriving, and weâre gonna party!â She did a little dance, her red hair bouncing on her head.Â
You giggled, âFine. Only until midnight! Then, weâre coming right back.â
âGeez, grandma? Midnight? Make it one!â
âFine, one-thirty.â
âIâll take it,â she smiled. She hopped out of bed, and turned on her heels, finger guns pointing at you. âWear that red tube top. Step all the way out, kid. I mean it!â
âYeah, weâll see.â
You wore the top. It looked good. Abnormally good. Insanely good. It hugged your body, and accented your breasts, little ruffles handing on the hem. You paired it with a loose pair of jeans, leather boots, and sparkly jewelry. Your hair was pulled out of your face and you applied light makeup.Â
âYes, maâam!â Claire cheered when she saw you. âFor someone who didnât wanna party, you sure snapped.âÂ
âHush,â you blushed. âI just wanna be prepared, yâknow, in case we take pictures or run into people.â
Person. Singular.Â
You anticipated a high chance of seeing Matthew tonight, and if it was true, it would be your first time seeing each other in person in two months. After week upon week of late night phone calls â full of dirty words, quiet moans, and soft goodnight wishes. With his timezone being three hours behind yours, the two of you set alarms on your phone to talk in the early hours of the morning. Until you fell into this routine of talking every night. First, helping each other get off â sometimes more than once. And then having a sleepy, giggle-filled conversation about anything under the sun. It regularly lasted until one of you fell asleep.
So, yeah. You were eager to see him. Even more eager to get back to his place. Get back underneath him. Itâd been a week since you last spoke, both of you being too busy moving back to New York. You ached for him dearly. And you wanted his first reaction to seeing you again to be lustful, intense. The outfit was perfect.
Claire and you walked across campus, arm in arm, skin glowing under the lights, hair blowing in the breeze. The music was palpable, and you could hear it from miles away. The two of you stepped into the dorming building, giggling at the sight of familiar faces, the smell of alcohol and weed, the sound of bass.Â
For most of the night it was easy to mingle. You carried a solo cup of alcohol from each room â vodka. Everytime you drank rum, you got horny. It was weird. You couldnât turn a corner without bumping into someone you knew, be it a dancer, an actor, film student. Being a double major, and active on campus, you knew way too many people. And everyone seemed to be there that night. It took you a good hour to rotate amongst groups.Â
â[y/n]?â
You turned around, a smile instantly appearing on your face. âAlex! Oh, my goodness! How are you?â
The dashing boy smiled at you, his hand on your shoulder. âHey! Iâm great, how are you?â
âIâm good, Iâm good. Iâm currently trying to have a good time despite being tired as hell.â
He laughed, âWell, I see youâve got some good time juice there, so youâre halfway to freedom. Hey, I forgot to tell you ��� your performance in the nutcracker last Christmas was incredible. I, uh, I actually went to the spring ballet after that because I was so impressed.â
âThank you,â you grinned. âI like to inspire people to experience ballet. Itâs cool.â
âI was very inspired,â he nodded. âHopefully weâll have some more classes together this semester.âÂ
âYeah! If not, you know how to reach me.â You bit down on your lip to keep from smiling too wide. He gave you a quick wink, and walked away.Â
You instantly began looking for Claire, rushing around the dorm for anyone resembling your friend. You noticed her in the threshold of a room, shoulder leaned against the wall, her arms crossed. You walked up to her, âClaire! Claire, youâre not gonna believe who I just ran into. It was definitely not the reunion I was expecting tonight.âÂ
Claire was dazed, staring in front of her with a face solid as stone. You very rarely saw her like this, and it freaked you out right away. âClaire? Claire, dude, whatâs wrong?â You turned your head to follow her gaze, and your eyes landed on the couch.Â
People lined the cushions, and dead in the center was Matthew. His hair had grown out a lot, and he dressed differently. All button down shirts and khaki shorts. With that damn chain tucked in his collar. And beside him was a girl. Hair jet black, a matching black mini dress, paired with sandals. They were kissing. Hot. Heavy. His hand gripping her hair, the other on his thigh. When they seperated, she touched his lips and you felt yourself having a stroke. The giggled at each other and Matthew kissed her cheek.Â
âItâs about one-thirty, right?â Claire asked you, her sight not moving.Â
You gulped. There was an ache in your chest that made it hard to speak. But you took a deep breath, and release the words, âYeah. Letâs go home.â
Claire walked around you, heading towards the exit, and you followed. The two of you walked home, silent, arms over each otherâs shoulders. In the room, Claire dropped her stuff to the floor, kicked her shoes off and sat on her bed. You rushed into the space, approached your nightstand and rummaged through it.Â
âWhat are you doing, [y/n]?â
âIâm packing a bowl,â you replied, grabbing your herbs, a lighter and the bowl.Â
âRight now? In here?â She gasped.
âIs that okay?â
She sighed, âYeah. Come share.â
The two of you sat on her bed, thirty minutes later, laying against the wall with your heads staring at the ceiling. Your eyelids were lowered, red, and your breathing was slow.Â
âIâm hungry,â Claire said, texting on her phone. âDo we have gummy bears? I want gummy bears. But haribo gummy bears. Not those knocks off we used to buy. And some soda. Soda would be so good right now. My mouth is so dry.â
You stayed quiet, eyes focused on the lights overhead. You couldnât get the image out of your mind. Matthew. And that girl. Kissing. Touching.Â
âHer name is Veronica,â Claire said.Â
You turned your hear to her, âHuh?â
âHer name is Veronica,â she repeated. âOr Roni for short.â She rolled her eyes. âShe, uh, sheâs from Vegas. She went to school with...Gube, actually. They dated.â
âOh...â you nodded. âAre you...are you okay?â
âI â I, yeah, Iâm fine,â she shrugged. âItâs just...really inconvenient of him to go back to her right now.â
âBack to her?â
âTheyâre together. Theyâre dating. Apparently they got back together this summer.âÂ
You furrowed your eyebrows together, a thousand thoughts running through your mind at once. âWhat do you think about that?â Claire asked.Â
âUh...â You shrugged. âIâm surprised anyone actually touches that boy,â you laughed, the sound coming out broken and sad.Â
âYeah...well...Misty says Roni is a big one for Gube. That, um, necklace he wears? She gave it to him years ago. He never took it off.âÂ
You nodded, âYeah,â your voice cracked. âWell, thatâs...thatâs some heavy fixation there.âÂ
â[y/n]...â
âI should shower. Iâm gonna shower.â You went to get off the bed, but Claire grabbed your wrist. You turned to her, and she pushed your hair out of your face.Â
âIâm really upset about this, kid,â she said. âCan you...can you just lay with me for a bit?âÂ
You sighed, gave her a small smile and leaned in to hug her. She held you close, placing one hand on your head and the other on your rest. And she let you rest your head on her chest, as you let silent tears roll down your cheeks.Â
Monday morning, you got up at 5 in the morning. You spent 2 hours in the ballet studio, twirling and dancing until your feet went numb. When you returned home, Claire was still asleep and you took a quick shower. You tried on ten different outfits, applied makeup, spent a long time on your hair. You made breakfast, checked for any assignments, surfed social media. And still had an hour before class.Â
You chose to walk around campus, locate all your classes, grab some coffee, and then you headed to your first class. Walking through the building, you sipped on your drink, moving absentmindedly roaming the halls. Suddenly, a hand reached out and pulled you into a storage closet. Your scream was cut short, and you jumped as the door closed behind you.
You looked up at see Matthew staring at you, a soft smile on his face. âHey.â
âIâm going to class,â you muttered, turning to exit the room. But Matthew put his hand on the door knob to stop you.
âWait, wait,â he pleaded. âUm, do I see you at the party ââ
âYep,â you nodded, not making eye contact with him.Â
âSo...then, you saw me at the party withââ
âYep.â
âOkay...[y/n]...â
âI really have to go to class, so, thanks for the detour, but Iâm leaving now.â You removed his hand from the knob and left the closet, not looking back.Â
You walked into your classroom, swallowing to get rid of the weird feeling in your throat. You set your bag down and took a seat. You attempted to shake Matthew out of your mind, the smell of him, the sight of him, the tension of being so close to him. But it was hard. It may have been the hardest thing ever.Â
âWell, well, well,â a voice called to you. âGuess I got lucky, huh?â
You looked up to see Alex, giving you a toothy grin and a look of pure joy. âAlex,â you breathed. âHi. This is awesome, youâre in here?â
âYeah,â he took a seat beside you. âHavenât seen you much since freshman year. This is nice.â
âIt sure is.â
So.Â
Remember number eight on your list of atrocities against Matthew Gubler?Â
Fucked his friend. While said friend was supposed to help Matthew with his project.Â
Alex would be the friend. He was gorgeous and kind and so good in bed. You first met in a cinematography class freshman year, where he very boldly asked if you wanted to hang out some time. You smiled, said yes, and that led to the aforementioned sexual encounter. It only happened a handful of times, until the semester was over. Then you didnât see each other as often.
But he was here now. He was here and he was flirting with you. You were flirting back. You were hurt and upset and confused and so fucking horny, you could burst. So, after classes, you reached out to him and asked if he could help you with a pre class assignment. He told you to come over. You did.Â
You didnât work on the assignment though.Â
Starting off pretty hot and heavy, it was a few weeks of meaningless sex until he asked you out. Claire cheered when she heard the news, causing you to give her a confused look. âWhy are you so happy that I have a date?â You giggled.Â
âOh...I just â Alex is cute! Heâs great, I always wondered what happened to him. You said he was good in the sack and he was always sweet to you. Iâm just, so glad youâre happy.â
You gave her a faux smile, âYeah. Iâm happy.âÂ
Alexâs friend was having a birthday party at his apartment, and Alex insisted you come. Said it was the only way heâd be able to have any fun when everyone got too drunk. You agreed, and when he picked you up that night, you were dressed in a purple romper and diamond earrings.Â
âYou look beautiful,â he whispered, leaning in to kiss you.Â
âThank you,â you smiled. âYou look beautiful, too.âÂ
He held your hand as he drove to the apartment, as you got out the car, walked up the stairs, entered the living space. He introduced you to everyone you met, his arm around you proudly and your head nuzzled into his chest.Â
Watching you across the room was a very irritated Matthew Gubler, who sat with Veronica on his lap and a beer in his hand. You didnât notice Matthewâs presence for a long time, considering the fact that he was avoiding you, and you were more focused on Alex.Â
While talking to Alexâs friends, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. You strolled down the hallway, searching for the restroom.Â
â[y/n]!â
You turned around, confused. Matthew marched up to you, his hands in his pocket, his face determined.Â
âI have to go to the bathroom,â you told him, and continued to walk.Â
He followed you. âSo, you dating Alex now?â
âThatâs not really your business, now is it?â
He grabbed onto your arm and pulled your body into his, hiding you two behind a corner. âNo, but it bugs me.â
âIt bugs you?â
âIt bugs me. I donât want you with Alex. Alex is a dick.âÂ
âWell, not to meââ
Matthew leaned down and kissed you, his hands tightened on your waist. He kissed you like he was starving, mouth open, breath heavy.Â
You pushed him away, your eyes closed in shock and ecstasy. No, no, you thought. âMatthewââ
âLetâs leave,â he interjected.
âHuh?â
âLetâs leave. Me and you. Letâs go.â
âNo,â you snapped.
âWhy not?â
âBecause, Iâm here with Alex! And youâre here with...her, so, no. Iâm staying here, with the guy I came with.â
âCâmonââ
âMatthew, no! No! Are you deaf? Are you dumb? Leave me alone, and go back to your girlfriend.â You suddenly didnât have to pee anymore, so you returned to Alex and his group of friends. Matthew watched as you took a seat in Alexâs lap, and you pretended not to notice.Â
There was radio silence for months. Matthew even removed you on snapchat, and for your sanity, you ignored it. You continued a casual relationship with Alex, and he continued to worship the ground you walked on. A vast change in pace from Matthew. Claire pushed for the Alex relationship hardcore, saying hi to him when came over, giving you guys time alone, tagging alone with you two to parties.Â
But every once in a while, you thought about Matthew. When you saw a particular movie, or heard one of his favorite bands, right after you would have sex. And especially on Halloween. Over the summer, he told you all about his costume plans, party plans, and movie marathons he was going to have. And for some reason, like a clown, you just assumed youâd be with him when it happened.
By the time final exams were over, you and Alex considered yourselves exclusive. You strolled into the end of the year party, holding hands and laughing. Youâd fallen into a good groove with his friends. They all liked you, you liked them, and you enjoyed their company. While sitting with them, one pulled out a joint, lit it and began to pass it around.
âWant a hit?â Alex asked.
âSheâs pretty tiny. Can she handle it?â A friend said.Â
You glared at her and took the paper between your lips, inhaling and holding a large amount of smoke. She watched in amazement as you exhaled through your nose, âWell...I stand corrected, princess.â
You took in a sharp breath of air.
And that was just the beginning of the spiral.Â
You stayed in rotation of the weed for a long time, until your thoughts were nothing but a mess of words racing everywhere. Your eyes felt heavy, so did your body. And you couldnât stop thinking about him.
You were wondering was there ever really a connection or were you just highly sexually compatible? Did Matthew ever have feelings for you or did he just want one thing? Why does kissing him and fucking him and just talking to him feel so different? How come when everything falls apart, you want Matthew? How come when everything is going well, you want Matthew? Need to talk to Matthew. Whereâs Matthew? Whereâs Matthew?Â
â[y/n]!â Alex called. âYouâre high as fuck,â he laughed. âWhat are you thinking about?â
Matthew.Â
âCome here,â and he pulled you into a kiss. And when you pulled away, feeling nothing, nothing at all, you realized you needed Matthew. You needed to feel something. But Matthew wasnât here. And you wish he was here. Whereâs Matthew?Â
Tears were springing to your eyes, but you quickly began to cough, distracting yourself with a new sensation. You rose to your feet, and exited the room, much to Alexâs disapproval. He watched you rush past him, his face laced with confusion.
Everyone you passed by looked like Matthew. Why did everyone look like Matthew? You missed Matthew. And this was unfair. You wiped at the tears in your eyes, but they were already gliding down your cheeks. They burned your skin and it made you cry more. You were blinded. And way too high to notice Matthew - the real Matthew - entering the hallway.Â
His eyes were redder than red, a lot like yours. His movements were slow. But something told him to reach out for you. Like a magnet. And you fell into his arms. It took him a whole second to realize it was you, but he did.Â
â[y/n]?â he whispered. âOh, my God, [y/n]. Whatâs wrong? What happened?â His hands moved to cup your face, his thumbs wiping the tears on your cheek.Â
â[y/n]!â Oh, no. Alex. âWhat are you doing? Where are you going?âÂ
At that point, you looked up at Matthew. Focused in on him. Said his name. But his attention had turned to Alex. And he was pissed. You could tell.Â
âWait, wait, Matthew, wait,â you pleaded.Â
âWhat the hell did you do to her?â He shouted, holding you close.Â
âWait, Matthew, he didnâtââ
âGube, let her go, dude!.â Alex snapped, reaching for your arm.Â
And that sent Matthew through the roof. He released you from his arms and moved towards Alex, delivering a swift punch to his face. Youâd never seen Matthew so much as cuss someone out, so this. This. This was hard to register. Nonetheless, you screamed his name, attempting to push both of them away from the brawl. But it was useless.Â
Two guys had to step in and separate Alex and Matthew, pulling them to opposing sides of the hallway. And you had to decide who to follow. It wasnât a hard decision to make.Â
You kept a good 100 feet behind Matthew the whole time, watching him stomp his way to his residence hall. You knew exactly how to get into the building, but werenât sure you should. Youâd never seen him so angry. So red. So primal.Â
But, Matthew.Â
Oh, God, Matthew. What would you say? What would you do? Did he want to see you? Did he want to be alone? Was his roommate there? You paced for 20 minutes, freezing your ass off outside the dormitory. Your mind was made up when you found the side entrance and let yourself in, marching up the steps. Now or never. Now or never. And you needed to see Matthew now.Â
You perched yourself in front of his door, paused, and proceeded to knock with full force. âBe home, be home, be home,â you whispered.Â
He was home.
He came to the door, shirtless, his face bruised, his hair tasseled, and that stupid, ridiculous gold chain around his neck. And youâd never wanted to suck a dick so badly in your entire life. You instantly imagined grabbing him, kissing him, pulling him close. But you didnât do that. You stood there, looking like an idiot, until he spoke.Â
âWhat are you doing here, [y/n]?â
You hadnât even thought about it. It just felt right to follow him. âIâI wanted...I wanted to make sure you were alright.â
He shrugged, âIâm alright.â His face was stern. Stoic. No emotion showed on his features and it made you sick.
âOh,â you said. âOkay.âÂ
You stared at each other for a long time. You just wanted him to say it. Ask you to stay. Ask you to come in. To admit it. But he wouldnât. So you had to walk away.Â
âOkay,â you nodded, sadly, and ducked your head as you headed towards the exit. âOkay.â You sniffled, patting at your eyes as they watered.Â
Matthew watched you go. His bottom lip caught between his teeth, his shoulders relaxing as he exhaled. â[y/n],â he called.Â
Youâd stopped in your tracks.
âYou...you were pretty stoned at the party,â he told you. âAre you sober?âÂ
You turned your body to face him. You thought about his eyes. How red they were. How slow he moved. How you had both been utterly and totally high as hell. âIâm sober,â you said. Honestly. After all of tonightâs events, and the sheer shock of seeing Matthew, being so close to him again, you had sobered up. âBelieve me, Iâm sober. Are you?â
Matthew licked him lips, nodding as he sighed. He stepped out into the hallway, and pushed the door to his dorm open. He signaled for you to enter.Â
You gave him a quick and sad smile, and you avoided eye contact with him as you stepped into the empty room. He led the way to his private room, and let you in, closing the door behind you. You kept your back to him, arms crossed over your chest.Â
He sighed, âIâmâVeronica and I broke up. Actually, she broke up with me...again. So, yâknow, it wasnât much of a surprise, butââ
âMatthew,â you cut him off, turning to him. âI need a favor.â
He hesitated, then his voice was strong, âAnything.â
âI leave for home next week for Christmas break. And since, I canât seem to figure out what the hell about you is driving me insane, Matthew Gubler, Iâm going to need time. Space. If you need time and space. So, you need to make that decision.â
âOkay.â
âBut right now, take your clothes off,â you ordered.Â
âOkay.â
He stared at you lustfully, just like you wanted, his body moving on autopilot to remove his shorts and boxers. You mirrored his movements, and took off your dress, subsequently tossing your bra and panties onto the floor. He grabbed onto your body and kissed you, one hand tangled in your hair and the other gripping your waist. He pushed you back onto his bed, falling on top of you and kissing your neck. You held onto his torso as he made way to your collarbone, nibbling on it lightly. He pulled away and gropped your breasts, massaging them with his fingers.Â
He was practically drooling over them, his eyes focused solely on your boobs. He leaned down and sucked on your nipple, while his hand slid down between your legs. He felt around your core, and slowly slid two fingers into you. You threw your head back, and moaned.Â
Matthew kissed a trail from your breast to your hips. He began to kiss your inner thighs, kneeling down in front of you and pulling you up to his face. He pressed his tongue against your clit, working his muscle in an up and down motion. You moved your hips against his face and his fingers, gasping weakly. You forgot how good his mouth felt, but this was huge, huge reminder. You gripped onto his hair and swore under your breath.Â
He noticed your thighs tightening around his face, and increased his intensity and speed. Your back arched off of the mattress, you whimpered into your mouth, and your chest was heaving. You let out a long groan as you came on his face, your entire body tensing up. He withdrew his fingers from you, and licked up from your core to your navel to your breasts. He kissed your neck, then your lips. And he sucked his fingers clean, holding eye contact with you.
Overwhelmed, you pulled him in by his face and kissed him passionately. He grunted against your lips, rubbing his cock on your core. He pushed into you, his jaw dropping and his forehead against yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist and this encouraged him to thrust into you. Matthew held you in his arms, moaning into your ear as he moved his hips.Â
You kissed his jaw, sucking on the skin until you felt it pulse between your lips. You could feel his muscles moving under your palms, and his cock striking a sensitive spot inside of you. It felt like you were crumbling, getting weaker by the second. But when you felt the chain hitting your chin, you wired back to life. You gripped onto the necklace and twisted it around your fingers, angrily biting your lip.Â
As he slammed into you, you muttered a soft âfuck!â and yanked on the chain. It popped off of his neck, and it was cathartic. You moaned and threw it to a far corner of the room. You reached down and rubbed your clit quickly, panting as Matthewâs body began to tremble. He kept his gaze focused on you as you let him fuck you into another orgasm, and your hips rolled against his in an eager rhythm.Â
âOh, fuck!â Matthew exclaimed, pulling out of you just in time. He released himself onto your stomach, moaning and gasping for air.Â
The mattress creaked as he laid down beside you, collapsing with a thud. The two of you stared at the ceiling, naked and breathy and covered in sweat. You rested your hand on Matthewâs chest, and he intertwined your fingers.Â
The next week, you were headed to the train station to get home for Christmas. Not knowing what to say to each, Matthew and you hadnât talked since last week. You sat in the back of an uber, your suitcase at your side, when your phone vibrated in your lap. You picked it up and recognized Matthewâs name flashing on your screen.Â
You sighed, swiped to answer, and held the phone to your ear, âHello?â
âI donât want space.â
âIââ You stuttered.Â
âI want as little space as possible.â
You were stunned, quiet, âOkay.â
The line went dead, and you set your phone down. You bit down on your lip. But the smile was still clear.
[PART 5.]
#mine#college!matthew#esny#matthew gray gubler#matthew gray gubler smut#matthew gray gubler imagine#mgg#mgg smut#mgg imagine
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Eternity || Nishinoya Yuu.
In which the small things stay with you, forever.
Warnings: Fluff with slight angst, post time skip spoilers
Word count: ~2.4k
Note: I'm finally writing a fluff fic, but I can't seem to tear myself away from angst. It's extremely minimal here though, and there's a good ending! Special thanks to @rollinguuuthunda for inspiring me to write this (since you rEFUSE to read my angst fics >:()!! And yes, Iâm bullying Noya in the summary since heâs shorter than me.
â
i.
âNishinoya, you got hurt again?â You nagged, firmly tugging at his arms to reveal the bruises littered on his skin. They were big and angry and purple; just the sight of them was enough to make you wince.
âThey donât hurt at all, theyâre battle scars!â Nishinoya, ever so cheerful and optimistic, beamed brightly at you. In the two years of knowing him, youâd never seen him bothered by the countless injuries his position inflicted on him.
âSit down,â settling on the floor cross legged, you patiently waited for him to heed your words. There was no room for disagreement, Nishinoya knew perfectly well that you took his well being very seriously.
He never really understood why, though. He never knew why you would grimace at the new bruises on his arms, or force him into his jacket after every match, or ask if heâd eaten his lunch every time you bumped into him in the halls. (Also, he never noticed how you always coincidentally had a protein bar with you when he would say no.)
âThey really donât hurt, Iâm fine!â Nishinoya said, but still sat down despite the reluctance in his voice. Why did you always have ointment in your bag anyway? Compared to him, you barely ever got hurt.
âThey will if the ball keeps hitting them,â You retort, huffing quietly while you rubbed the ointment onto the purple spots on his arm. âStop resisting.â
For the first time, he decided to take notice of your knitted brows and slight pout. Why did you seem so upset? You werenât the one getting hurt, heâd already assured you that he was fine, and you didnât have to care so much about him. The subtle look of concern everyone else gave was already more than enough, why did you have to go the extra mile?
And for the first time, the dots in his head started to connect. Maybe, you were worried for him. Maybe, you hated to see him injured as much as he hated to see you frown. Maybe, you liked him as much as he liked you.
âThanks,â Nishinoya mumbled, all his usual confidence replaced by demureness.
âYouâre welcome,â your voice was as soothing as ever, the immense concentration in your eyes stirring something in his chest.
At that moment, everything disappeared. The ache in his thighs, the leftover adrenaline in his veins, the thumping of his heart; everything was drowned out by the featherlight touch of your fingers on his skin.
At that moment, the weight of his arm limp in your hand and the coolness of the ointment on your fingertips told of the trust he had in you. In the warmth of his skin against yours, you felt his new vowââIâll take better care of myself to not worry you.â
And at that moment, all he could feel was your fingers rubbing comforting circles on his arm and your silent pleaââI donât want you to hurt, ever.â
ii.
After days and weeks and months of the push and pull game you had engaged Nishinoya in, he finally scored a date with you. It was in the middle of summer when you agreed to meet him at the park, where the summer festival was held.
Coincidentally, it was the day of the Star Festival, and you couldnât help but wonder if it was all on purpose. Only Nishinoya would choose such a day, the only day Vega and Altair were allowed to meet, to be the day of your first date. (Well, if it was on purpose, you sure hoped that youâll still see him the next day. You didnât want the first date to be the last, after all.)
âNoya, youâre late,â you chastised, watching him jog over to you with a huge smile plastered on his face.
âSorry,â he laughed, tugging you along to the stands. Immediately, you were swept up by his antics and found yourself having a blast. It was just like him to easily infect you with joy and laughter, just like him to make you forget all your worries.
Spending time with him always felt like a magic carpet ride, bringing you to new places you never knew existed and making you feel emotions you never knew you could feel. It was intoxicating, and soon you found yourself drunk off the dream-like atmosphere.
After hanging your slip of paper with your wish on the wish tree, you turned to Nishinoya. For a second, it felt like a scene from one of your many dreams was playing right before your eyes. His hands firmly pressed together in a fervent prayer for his wish to come true, his brows knitted in the concentration you only ever saw when he was on the court, his lips pursed in unspoken yearning.
Silently, you wondered what he was wishing so desperately for. What more could he ask for, if he already had everything? What could the wish tree bring that he couldnât attain with his effort?
(He wanted a lot of things, and all of them were related to you.)
His eyes instantly met yours when they finally opened. As if his wish had already been granted, a brilliant smile spread across his face. He fidgeted a little, hands searching himself for an almost-forgotten gift.
âFor you,â he beamed, holding out a single forget-me-not. Some of its petals had already fallen from being jostled around throughout the evening, yet it still stood tall and proud, all its yellow and blue on display.
Taking it graciously, you could barely find the words to express the loud drumming of your heart in your chest. Before you could embarrass yourself with a haphazard word of thanks, a gust of wind blew.
The swaying strips of paper on the tree behind Nishinoya painted a meteor shower around his silhouette, adorning his already ethereal form with an otherworldly halo. Along with the wind was the smell of your shampoo, and almost as if he were one of Pavlovâs dogs, his heart instantly started racing and the tension in his shoulders dissipated.
In the wind was you, and in his lungs was the final push for him to fall down the rabbit hole. In the familiar scent of you was your wordless gratitudeââYou give me a reason to smile.â
And in the wind was him, and held tight in your hands was the embodiment of his adoration. Under the full moon and colourful lights of the festival, no words were needed. In the sweet scent of the forget-me-not was his shy confessionââYou make my heart pound, yet put me at so much ease.â
iii.
âIâm home,â you called out just as you stepped into your apartment and met Nishinoyaâs eyes. Instantly, you recognised the nervous glint in his eyes, one you only saw when he broke something after getting carried away with Tanaka. âWhat did you do now, Yuu?â
âItâs nothing bad!â He was quick to defend himself, even quicker to unload the bags from your tired arms. Ever since you started officially dating Nishinoya, him being in your house on the weekends became a common occurrence.
Following him into your usually pristine kitchen, shock smacked you over the top of your head and sent you stumbling. It was a disaster zone, the counters littered with broken eggs and flour, and a mountain of dirty bowls in the sink. The oven dinged, bringing your attention to a suspicious mound inside.
âWere you baking?â You frowned, examining the crinkled top of the cake.
âWell, itâs our anniversary, and you like cake,â Nishinoya mumbled, pointedly staring at his creation. It wasnât that bad, but it definitely made you hesitate to have a taste. âItâs your favourite kind, Iâm sure youâll like it!â
In his childlike confidence, you found yourself sighing in defeat. There was no way you could refuse when he was looking at you with so much hope in his eyes.
âLooks like we have two cakes to eat then,â you smiled fondly at him, pulling out a small box from one of the bags you brought home. âI got a slice from the bakery down the street.â
âWe must be telepathic!â He exclaimed, excitedly unboxing the store bought slice and setting it next to his home baked one. The stark difference in appearance and his unabashed pride in his cake was hilarious yet endearing.
Deciding not to judge a book by its cover, you coaxed yourself to taste a fallen piece from the fruit of Nishinoyaâs labour. Simultaneously, Nishinoya took a bite of the cake you had bought.
In the sweetness of the frosting and the fluffiness of the sponge cake, all Nishinoya could taste was your bashful devotionââI only want the best for you.â
And in the saltiness of the crumbly cake(he mustâve gotten the salt and sugar mixed up again), all you could taste was his bold resolveââIâll do anything for you.â
iv.
âI want to travel the world.â Your fingers that were deftly twirling his hair came to a stop at Nishinoyaâs sudden declaration.
âDo you have the money to go?â You asked, mind starting to wander. Youâd always known that Nishinoya was a bird meant to fly, always known that Japan was unable to contain his huge dreams, always known that he would jump at any opportunity to explore the unknown. Yet, hearing it outright caught you off guard and got you worrying.
He was still young, still inexperienced, still naive. You saw these as reasons he should stay, he saw them as reasons he should go; for you were careful and he was carefree.
âI have a plan.â He replied, resolution strong in his voice. The confidence he usually emitted was now unable to reassure you, unable to drive away the darkness called unease from your heart.
âHow long will you be gone?â With all your being, you wished that he would laugh and tell you it was a joke, like he always did.
âAs long as it takes,â shrugging, he shifted to meet your eyes. In the intensity of his gaze, you knew he wasnât joking. He was dead serious about it, and nothing you said would make him stay.
It wasnât the first time you heard about his dream of travelling the world and experiencing everything he could, it wasnât the first time you felt this helpless, and it definitely wasnât the first time you feared his departure.
Somewhere deep in your heart was fearâa lot of fear. You were afraid of holding him back, afraid of watching him leave and never return, afraid of being away from him. But the day when you had to stop running away from the fear was bound to come; it was inescapable.
âIâm not breaking up with you, of course,â as if he could hear your fears, he continued. âWeâll keep in contact. We may be physically apart, but Iâll never leave. Weâre in this together, arenât we?â
âWe are.â You said, mustering all the conviction you could find. Whether it was to convince him or to convince yourself, you werenât sure.
It took weeks of preparation and arrangements before Nishinoya was able to fly off. You had contemplated if you should send him off, since you were sure to break down in tears once he stepped through the departure gates, but decided to go to the airport anyway. All for seeing him just a little more.
âWait for me, yeah?â Nishinoya muttered, face buried in your neck as he pulled you in a tight embrace. You hoped the strength in his grip wasnât due to a hesitance at the last minute.
âI donât know how Iâll do it without you,â you confessed, not realising the arrows your words pierced through his heart.
In your shaky voice and shallow breaths, he heard your reluctant promiseââNo matter how long it takes, Iâll always be right there waiting for you.â
And in his rare moment of silence, you heard his wholehearted oathââNo matter how far I go, Iâll always come back to you.â
v.
Years had passed, both Nishinoya and you had grown more mature, more accustomed to only seeing each other once a year, more familiar with loneliness. But now, Nishinoyaâs desire to explore has been satiated, and his journey around the globe has come to an end. He was back.
âYuu!â The elation in your voice easily drowned out his calling of your name, earning a few glances from the passersby in the airport.
Cupping his cheeks in your hands and resting your forehead against his, you closed your eyes and let out a content sigh. He immediately mirrored you, basking in your presence.
âIâm home,â Nishinoya whispered, pulling away.
âYouâre home.â You reciprocated, taking all of him in. He was a little tanner than the previous time you saw him, his eyes a little brighter.
For the first time since you last saw him, everything felt right. With him back, a monotony you never noticed was relieved. With you back, a stability he had forgotten was restored. Being back together brought back memories of the past and gave hope for the future. To be a tad dramatic, you never felt quite as alive when he wasnât by your side.
Just like the love stories and romance movies, everything around the both of you faded to nothingness. For a split second, it was just the two of you in the entire universe. For that split second, nothing else mattered, since you were with Nishinoya, and he wasnât going anywhere else.
And in that split second, he decided that it was now or never.
Taking a step away, he fumbled for something in his pocket. As he sunk to one knee, realisation settled in your mind. Oh, oh.
âI want to spend the rest of my life with you,â Nishinoya declared, eyes glazed over and smile full of anticipation.
In the glittering diamond seated atop the silver band he held up, you saw his wish hung upon the wish treeâ
And in the glimmering tears streaming down your cheeks as you nodded your head yes, he saw your wish hung upon the wish treeâ
âStay with me, forever.â
â
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyĹŤ!!#haikyu x reader#hq!!#hq#hq x reader#haikyuu fluff#karasuno#nishinoya yuu#nishinoya yuu x reader#nishinoya#nishinoya x reader#nishinoya fluff#fluff#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic
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Fools Rush In... XI
characters â yoongi x reader (ft. members of bts and other original characters)
summary â min yoongi, music executive and perpetual bachelor, marries a las vegas stripper heâs only known for six months. chaos ensues.
inspiration â Â fools rush in (1997 rom-com starring salma hayek and matthew perry)
information â a drabble series loosely based on the 1997 movie fools rush in. drabbles not posted in any linear order and written as a creative writing outlet.
warnings â mentions of sex work; age-difference; light sugar daddy themes; smut; light angst (specifically in parts V & VI).
I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI
XIÂ â godzilla
Yoongi fucked up.
Or at least thatâs what he thinks as you gracefully swing your legs up and around the silver pole you were hanging off of, ending up in an upside down split that is as technically impressive as it is sexually pleasing. The move is met with a chorus of cheers, but they include far more feminine voices than heâs used to. The last time he saw you pull that stunt, a sea of men drowned the stage beneath you in 20s. He saw a few hundreds float down as wellâit was a good night for you.
He finds himself grateful that you switched to the shorts at the last minute. Youâd be flashing the entire club if you had worn the skirt that technically went with that top, though Yoongi doesnât think you would mind much. It was obvious to him that, in that moment, you were in your element. He, on the other hand, was not. Yoongi never really did like clubs. He aged out of the clubbing demographic long ago, when all of his friends started to get married and grey hair became a bit harder to hide. In his younger days he only went to perform and scope out competition; these days he only found himself in clubs to scout new talent. Otherwise, heâd been in his office or at home.Â
But you were different. You were thriving in this environment, looking right at home among the sea of young faces wearing the latest street wear and doing the newest dances. He couldnât take his eyes off you, somewhat shocked at how young you looked. With all of the sadness and unnecessary drama that had been plaguing the relationship for the last few months, Yoongi had forgotten just how much younger than him you were. The difference was obvious now, though, as you come down from the pole covered in sweat from the bright club lights and continuous dancing. You were very much in your prime. He frowns at the thoughtâyou were too young to be a married woman. Â
âDance with me!â Itâs the first thing you have said to him in 30 minutes, too caught up in the fun and excitement of finally being surrounded by people you have more in common with than class to really engage with Yoongi. He doesnât mind, of course. He is more than content to sit back and watch you.Â
âI donât dance.â
âYou do dance with me! Now come on,â You argue, grabbing his hand in an attempt to pull him. It backfires, with Yoongi pulling you into his lap instead. âAww.âÂ
âArenât you tired?â He whispers into your ear. âYouâve been at it all night.â
You shake your head at him. The song has finally changed from the harsh rhythms of a man continuously referring to himself as a Club Godzilla into something much more sensual. âAre you tired?â
âIâm always tired. Iâm a cranky old man.â
âDo you want to go home now?â Itâs a trick question. Yoongi has wanted to go home since stepping foot inside the club and you knew it. He had spent the whole night sitting a table far too expensive for just two people to occupy. He was only staying for you.
âI already told you, weâll leave when youâre ready to go. Iâm fine right here.â
You hum idly, swaying back and forth in Yoongiâs lap as if you are fully digesting his words, though you could just be digesting the alcohol, having downed a strange blue concoction you called an âadiosâ fairly quickly. âCome dance with me please.â Yoongi opens his mouth to argue, but you put a finger to his lips to silence him, an act so full of innocence that he finds himself letting out a chuckle of disbelief. âJust to one song and then you can sit back down like the tired old man you are.âÂ
âAlright. One.â
He ends up dancing to four songs with you, feeling so out of breath by the end that it takes him the full length of another song and a whole bottle of water for him to fully calm down. But when he sees how big of a smile is on your face as you drunkenly squeal to a random woman standing near that, âhe is such a good husband,â he suddenly doesnât feel tired at all.
#au: fools rush in#sailor belle writes#yoongi scenarios#suga scenarios#yoongi drabbles#suga drabbles#bts scenarios#bts drabbles#bts fluff#suga fluff#yoongi fluff#yoongi x reader#suga x reader#suga fanfiction#yoongi fanfiction
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-- && guests may mistake me as ( andy biersack ), but really i am ( liam sullivan + cis male + he/him ) and my DOB is ( 12/28/93 ). i am applying for the ( banquet manager ) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite ( #203 ). i should be hired because i am ( + loyal, charismatic, driven ), but i can also be ( - distracted, opinionated, pushy ) at times. personally, i like to ( watch documentaries, play poker, get tattoos ) when off the clock, but that wonât interfere with work. thank you for your consideration!
ooc;; itâs ya girl kay again, iâm so so sorry adfjlaksfj. this is liam, heâs a brain baby of mine that i played a little while ago and heâs been haunting me since i stopped playing him so here he is to be a part of yâallâs lives. hopefully you dig him, if not......... well thatâs fine, too. canât make you do anything, iâm not your mom unless youâre card; go to your room, card.
TWâs: Mentions of prostitution. Abortion. Drug use, drug addiction, drug overdose, & drug related death.
fast facts / personality details;;
( i put these first this time because the background is A Lot on this one okay )
has a rather protective and care-giving nature mixed in with his excellent work ethic and drive.
loves when guests ask for the manager and he gets to come out and see how much they didnât expect the manager to be a 6â˛4âł beanpole with neck tattoos.
lives by the ideal âput your money where your mouth isâ ; also just like, be genuine and up front with him in general, like heâs not an asshole, but also he knows how to deal with assholes, so let that be said
has a five year old german shepherd named Roxy that he rescued from shelter overflow when she was only a six month old puppy; Roxy still thinks that she is a small lap dog despite being a Big Girl
still wears the ring that his mom gave him for his eighteenth birthday every day, despite the issues that they had, and despite her being gone now.
has his nose pierced and his lip pierced, though the lip ring he takes out for stretches of time; the nose ring is always in, though.
absolutely covered in tattoos, in case that wasnât already painfully obvious. he loves getting them and yes, still has room for more, will continue to get them probably forever.
prefers brown liquor over pretty much any other alcohol, though heâs not opposed to a good draft every once in a while
listens to more classical music than anyone would ever probably expect of him; that being said he also listens to a lot of classic rock and, naturally, a dose of pop punk, too, for fun.
he likes listening to true crime podcasts and watching various true crime / serial killer documentaries; criminal minds is also his favorite show. so like donât piss him off, i guess ajdkfljasdklf
smokes cigarettes like heâs a motherfucking chimney; says heâs working on quitting, has yet to actually start that process.
generally just a supportive person; if Liam cares about you in any capacity - even if itâs just because you work together - youâll know it. he likes to help the people around him, try to steer them in the right direction, offer them advice.
heâs not a shy person, in fact heâs rather social, and while thereâs a dry humored joke or a sarcastic toy here and there, heâs a pretty genuinely nice dude. despite the things that heâs seen and been through in his life, heâs worked really hard to stay optimistic, and driven throughout and so far heâs been very successful at that.
dresses rather nice / got that business casual look down with the short-sleeved button ups or the long-sleeved ones with the sleeves rolled for work purposes. however, outside of work it's like a cat and his wardrobe were in a trash bag together. lots of black, and dark earthy colors, too. the duality of man.
background / life story;;
Liam Travis Sullivan was born and raised in Las Vegas, Nevada, where his mother, Stephanie Sullivan, was an escort / call girl on The Strip.
Stephanie getting pregnant was a tremendous âoops,â but she kept the baby anyway. The babyâs father was a client who had a wife and kids already, so he paid Stephanie a whole lot of money to stay quiet and out of contact with him. This money allowed for her to take time off from working to be able to have Liam and take care of him for a bit.
Liam really was Stephanieâs whole world once he was born; the best thing that she ever did, as she so often told him through the years.
Liam never knew his father, but he put two and two together once he was old enough to understand what it was that his mom did.
Liam was three years old when Stephanie finally returned to working on The Strip. He was left in the care of some of Stephâs other âworking girlâ friends on the nights she happened to be working.
He got very accustomed to spending his time around females, having a heavy female influence in his life as he grew up -whether that particular female influence was always the best or not. It led to his respect for women, though, and his ability to feel very comfortable around them, even from a young age.
When Liam was six years old, Stephanie ended up pregnant again. However, this time she ended up actually having an abortion. Liam only knew about it because his mother rambled about it to him in an overemotional drunken state. She told him that âhe was her good boy and all that she needed.â
Working The Strip -as notorious a place as it was- and making the money that she did left Steph open to a lot of drinking and drug use.
At eight years old, Liam found a stash of his motherâs cocaine in their bathroom. This earned a distressed meltdown from Steph about him staying away from that sort of stuff because it was bad. Though, as a developing child gaining understanding of the world around him, that proved to confuse Liam because he didnât understand why his mommy had it and was doing it if it were so bad.
Liam was ten years old the first time that his mom overdosed. This instance just involved going to the hospital to get her stomach pumped and spend the night on a fluid IV, but it was still terrifying for the boy at the time.
Stephanie struggled with drug abuse for most of Liamâs life. Living where they did facilitated it so easily and also made any getting caught up in the law with it rare -it was Vegas, after all, not to mention Stephanie was in sex work, so the law wasn't always looking out for her anyway.
Right before Liam was about to start high school, the young teenager -already having had to do so much growing up so early and so fast- took it upon himself to give his mother an intervention of sorts. He told her that if she was going to keep taking time with her away from him that he was going to run away, figure life, out himself, even if he did end up in the foster system or something. He pleaded with her that he didnât want to lose her, that he wanted her there for all the things his life could still have in store for him. Ultimately, after many tears and a lot of convincing, Steph let her fourteen year old son flush her drug stash and they made a very rushed plan to finally get out of Vegas.
Moving to California was really good for the both of them for a while. Being in a new place meant starting fresh, moving forward. Stephanie didnât know anyone she could get drugs from; between that, the support of her son, and finding help at local NA meetings, she managed through the withdrawal and the struggling. She got a stable, more normal job, working at a sports bar -bartending and waiting tables.
Liam easily adjusted to the change of environment. He practically thrived in Los Angeles. Before he knew it, he had friends, got into playing football at his high school, was losing his virginity. Fast-paced and unconventional were ways that Liam was used to living his life, so getting into things like physical relationships with girls, despite how young he was in reality, felt normal to him in all his adjusting.
Things stayed going really well for pretty much the whole first year they were in LA. Liam did well in school, got a part time job to help his mom out. Steph ended up picking up a second job to stay busy and keep money coming in. They were good, they were better than they had been, and they had each other.
The summer before Liamâs junior year of high school, he caught his mom using again. Evidently it had been going on for a few months already at that point, and because of how busy he was with school, friends, and work, he had caught on late. Stephanie argued with him on the matter, told him that it wasnât his business to worry about, among other unexpectedly harsh things. It was the first real, legitimate fight he ever really had with his mom, at least the first one that really mattered.
With too much riding on his focus on school and football -given he had since come up with the goal to go to a good college, to make something of himself and do good things- Liam shut himself off from his mom for a little while. They lived together, came and went about their lives, but they spoke minimally, Liam didnât fight more with her despite knowing that she was still using at the time. It was very odd for him, to have any sort of bad energy between him and his mom -it was so rare, it had always been just the two of them. He decided, though, that he had to focus on himself and his future.
Senior year came with the promise of scholarships, multiple college scouts having their eyes on him, more than one girl interested in dating him, a wide friend circle, a basic car he had been able to buy for himself, and a growing savings account. Liam was doing great, he was on the right track, focused. Stephanie, however, had downward spiraled. Her using had gotten out of hand to the point of losing both of her jobs, having to get a new one in a setting that was dangerously close to the things she had been doing in Vegas -a strip club.
It wasnât until Liamâs Winter Formal that year -Stephanie deep into her continued cocaine addiction- that something changed. He was in his suit, getting ready to leave to go pick up his date when his path crossed with Stephanieâs. Upon finding out where her son was heading, who he was going with, the friends he was meeting -details she hadnât been knowledgeable on for some time at this point- the woman burst into tears. She sobbed apologies to her son, begged him to forgive her for missing out on his life, made promises to him that she would get better for him -promises Liam tried not to take to heart; he had learned.
They did get Stephanie into a rehabilitation clinic shortly after the holidays. She had to sober up a little bit and once again Liam shouldered the responsibility of getting rid of the drugs that she had in their apartment. He spent two months alone in their apartment while his mom worked through her issues, sobered up fully, came back to him. It was an exhausting couple of months for him, trying to be a self sufficient adult in an apartment that had to have things paid for in it, while also juggling school and football, but he managed.
Stephanie came home a different woman than she left, and upon getting a more functional version of his mother back, Liam had the tiniest glint of hope that maybe things would be okay again. Graduation was looming, and he had a few different schools that were more than willing to offer him full ride football scholarships to their universities. Notre Dame, Duke, UCLA, among other state-based colleges all had eyes on him. It was something he could finally talk to his mom about.
While Stephanie encouraged him to follow his heart, follow wherever his dreams were gonna take him, Liam couldnât shake the idea of being far from home -or, in particular, being far from where she was. Things were so fragile with her and her addiction, it was so much more possible for something bad to happen and him to have absolutely no idea about it if he went far away. So despite the incredible opportunities he could have had elsewhere, he chose to accept to scholarship from UCLA out of all the schools who chose him.
Going to college, let alone such a prestigious and well known state school like UCLA was like something out of a fairytale for Liam. Looking back on what his life had been up to the point of graduating high school and moving on to bigger things, he was amazed at what he had accomplished. Given the healthy and sober way that his mother still was at the time of his high school graduation, she, too, made it a point to make sure he knew how amazed and proud she was of him.
College wasnât quite as easy for him as high school was, but that just drove Liam to work even harder. He wasnât going to waste the opportunity he was given. He was double majoring in business and marketing; even though he had little idea what sort of business he wanted to be a part of, he knew that he wanted something for himself, something that could do good, give back in some way shape or form. Those subjects would do a lot to help him get there, he knew that much.
Stephanie stayed sober for most of Liamâs college experience, after the help of going to rehab, and the continued going to NA meetings. He popped back to the apartment every now and again -having moved into campus living during the semesters- and that helped her, too. Things seemed really good for quite some time, but having the other shoe drop once again unfortunately didnât come as too terribly much of a shock to Liam. She had been getting involved with some guy she knew from work, theyâd been sleeping together, and what Liam didnât know is that they frequently went out for drinks. Drinking slowly but surely progressed into getting high together; something easy for Stephanie to fall into, particularly because of her habit, but also because of the familiarity of the circumstances -it was awfully similar to when she was working on The Strip and would get wasted with clients.
Liam was in his last semester of college, just about three months shy of graduating with his bachelorâs degree. It was a huge deal for him, it was something that he wasnât going to give up for anything in the world. Still, he made it a point to help his mother after she called him absolutely high out of her mind and apologizing to him while he was pulling an all-nighter on an assignment one night. He didnât ask many questions, just the basics, and he looked into a place himself -a rehab center that was further away, lengthier and more in depth with their programs. Before, they had gone with what was convenient, facility-wise, but he wasnât going to make that mistake twice. If his mother needed more special attention, he was going to get her to that.
Getting his degree was a gift, a blessing he in reality never thought would be his. While his mom was still in rehab at the time of his graduation -Liam insisted that she not leave treatment just to come to the ceremony- she still wrote to him consistently, sent him a congratulations card right around the day of the ceremony. Liam was in a position in his life that awed him in a way, ready to take on the world.
Pursuing the concept of his own business sort of took a back seat; having just gotten his degree, it wasn't like Liam could immediately leap into much, not to mention he didn't have the funds. He had been working and saving all through college - served, cooked, and bartended at a grand total of six different restaurants in Los Angeles by the time he graduated - but on top of any business itself being expensive, school itself was expensive, too.
By the time Liam was twenty-four years old, he was managing two bars, and co-managing a restaurant out in Los Angeles. He was living on his own, keeping tabs on his mother sporadically, but mostly working toward a goal for a business of his own. He was teetering between a pub of sorts, or a burlesque club - two wildly different ideas, but both with the same idea in mind; somewhere entertaining but somewhere that also provided a sense of community, somewhere he could give jobs to people that needed them - perhaps that was inclined to women, from his subconscious protection of his mother, but that was beside the point.
A coworker of his at one of the bars he was the bar manager of ended up being who presented a move out of Los Angeles to him. There was potentially more business opportunity somewhere out of that location, out of the state of California, even. Chicago was brought to the table, this friend having heard of a program that offered employee housing at a luxury hotel. Liam was apprehensive about the Malnati at first, given he didn't want to have to start on a bottom rung in terms of his job once again. As it turned out, however, there was a management position that was generally up his alley. Seeking opportunity and further growth wherever he could find it, Liam made the move to Chicago.
Things between him and his mom had been more distant over the year since he graduated college, and in his move to Chicago, he couldn't say he was surprised to end up hearing about things getting bad again for his mom. It was a moment of true growing up for Liam, realizing that he had to be responsible for himself, he had to do what he needed to do, he couldn't carry his mom anymore. If she didn't want to get better and stay better, he couldn't be the one derailing his life to continue to try to make her do so.
That first year of him living in Chicago, working as the banquet manager at the Malnati, his mom overdosed for the last time. It was unexpected in the same way that it wasn't; Liam went through a brief period of a numb sort of grieving - he was of course sad to have lost his mom, to have to come to terms with the fact that he'd never get to see or speak to her again. He also, though, had to face the fact that as dark and upsetting as the circumstances were, they were out of his hand, they were not his responsibility. He mourned his mother as she deserved, and he went on with his life; because deep down he knew that she would want that for him, anyway.
Liam has been living in Chicago and working as the Malnati's banquet manager for the last nearly-three years now. He oversees more than just a restaurant and a bar now, and it's expanded his career experience in ways that he is very thankful for. It's a little bit on the backburner once again, but definitely not forgotten, that he intends to have his own business some day. Perhaps more than one, even. He loves the organization and the hard work and dedication that go into leading - whether that be a kitchen or a bar or an event. He likes to be supportive as much as a leader - Liam wants to see his team succeed; if there's slack that needs to be picked up and he can help, he will. He's not going to bark orders and call it a day, that's not what he's about, that's not what he considers his job. He's got a good head on his shoulders, and a good work ethic, and he likes doing what he does.
wanted connections;;
ITâS TIME ONCE AGAIN FOR ME TO FAIL AT THESE LMFAO
Liam in his job oversees chefs, bartenders, servers, room service runners, and musicians, so like we got a whooooole lineup of connections to be had there; heâs their boss yeah, but as Iâve said like a million times now heâs really active in trying to help his team succeed. heâll help out on the bar and running food and covering breaks or callouts or whatever, so like thereâs a lot of good potential relationships to be had there.
other managers bc we love seniority adfjlkasdfjk no iâm just kidding, but still we love some manager pals why not
idk i think itâd be really funny to have someone whoâs like intimidated by him simply because of the way that he looks and heâs like look iâm really not that bad i just like tattoos a lot okay lmAO
a casual hookup here or there is chill; heâs not super into the fwb thing? like heâll stay friends after a hookup if the other person is cool with it, but as an ongoing thing it just gets too complicated for his liking.
pet parent friends; his girl Roxy is a friendly giant baby and he adores her, bring him some parent friends and her some dog friends
tattoo pals of some variety?? even if itâs just him constantly encouraging people to go get tattoos, or talking them through processes? going with them for moral support because he barely even feels it when he gets tattoos now?? who knows
honestly we been knew iâm up to just talking shit out and winging it a lot of the time too so just hit me up if you wanna figure some stuff out with this inked up beanpole okay? okay ily.
#liam. | about#liam. | headcanons#this is EXCEPTIONALLY LONG LMAO I'M SO SORRY#there's a lot to take in#if you made it through the whole thing you may be entitled to emotional compensation
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Shattered Hearts and Broken Dreams - Chapter 3
5 September 2293
It took a couple weeks for them to finally get to the Legion's territory. When they did they were on an old highway in the middle of an empty desert. A few legionaries approached them, asking the pair questions. Joshua explained they were traders looking to buy brahmin to transport the stock theyâll purchase. The bandages, he explained that he was beginning to undergo ghoulification and he wished not to expose his appearance to othersâ view. With his explanation being satisfactory and reasonable, they were allowed to pass into the town close by, dubbed a âfreeâ town within the Legion. Such towns paid tribute and serve the Legion, but are allowed to trade and act unimpeded to allow for trade to flourish.
The sleeves of Ezekielâs shirt were stained with blood. Sluggish and nervous, the boy stuck closeby to his caregiver, afraid of the Legion environment that now surrounded them. He whispered softly, "Dad said that your name is forbidden here, is that true?"
"Nobody must know who I am. For them my name is Joshua Danson, traveling trader. They allow traders to roam around freely."
Walking past a few old world buildings, the boy could make out a bar, brothel and even a casino. "Legion doesn't like these places but allows certain places to keep them... for a price. Stay away from them."
Ezekiel nodded then coughed, "Uncle Joshua, I feel dizzy and I'm tasting metal.â As he walked his legs grew heavy, making him lean against Joshuaâs side as they walked.Â
"We're seeing the doctor now." Joshua supported the boy and walked towards a sandcrete house with a large red cross painted upon it.
It was almost as though his legs gave away as soon as they walked through the door and the boy's grip tightened onto Joshua's arm.
One of the nurses rushed over immediately to help the two. Joshua explained that the boy was suffering from radiation poisoning and they had no more medicine for him. Moments later Ezekiel was in a dark room on an IV drip.
âIâll be back soon.â Joshua gave Ezekiel a pat on his hand before standing upright and giving the nurse some Legion coin as he left to find some supplies.
While Joshua was gone, Ezekiel had napped for what felt like a short while. He was cut from his slumber by a sudden wretch, resulting in him vomiting on himself.
When Joshua came back to the small clinic with the doctor in tow, Ezekiel was being cleaned up and changed.Â
A dripping of blood from Ezekiel's nose soon, though nothing new. He just wiped it with the sleeve of his new shirt. Feeling the nausea and metallic taste coming on again, he quickly turned his head to the bucket on the floor, vomiting once more. Wiping his bloodied mouth and nose on his shirt, his brown eyes gazed up at his caregiver, who worried for the boy.
The doctor looked over Ezekielâs face and body. "You weren't kidding about the radiation poisoning. Unfortunately we've had it rough this year, too. Rad-X and Radaway arenât too common out here where most of it has been used or stored away. The NCR would have more than us. Whatever you found with traders is what is available in this town. All I can do is give an assessment on the severity and his presumed lifespan. I'm just going to go through a checklist to determine that." He put his hand on the boy's forehead, touched his neck, and under his arms. "A bit of a fever. Vomiting is obvious, as well as hemorrhaging. Skin looks pale and his eyes are sunken.â As the doctor made his way performing a physical check-up, he asked Joshua and Ezekiel questions regarding symptoms and concerns.
The doctor concluded the check-up once the questions were answered then Joshua spoke up, "I have been able to buy two doses of rad-away, how much would that improve his status?"
"Maybe 2 more weeks. Hard to say really, because he might not be dealing with just radiation now, he could very easily pick up another illness. Now, unless you find enough to rid him entirely of it, he will have about an extra month in total. You might have better luck in another town." The doctor shook his head sorrowfully before leaning towards Joshua and whispering, "if he starts having seizures and his words begin to slur, I'd say to just comfort him. He's going to be confused and scared. Return back to his home and his family."
Joshua nodded softly. "Not a long time... I see. Do you think... the New Vegas Clinic could help? With an implant perhaps?â
The doctor shrugged, "Possibly. I haven't experimented with those. I'm not sure if they'd work on a kid. Seriously though, you're an uncle. His parents should see him first."
"His parents passed not long ago... that implant though, it could be his only option... the boy doesn't deserve this. Then it is decided, I will take him to the clinic in Vegas."
Sighing, the doctor nodded and bid them farewell. After paying the medical professional, Joshua helped Ezekiel out the door.Â
There was a long pause, the boy trying to find the right words to put together his thoughts. Having caught some of what was discussed and with news that confirmed his fate, he felt and thought so much and his mind raced. What he could do now or rethink what he could have done differently. For now, he just slipped his hand into Joshua's, not knowing what else to say or think.
Joshua glanced down at the boy and gave his hand a comforting squeeze. "We are going to Vegas. It's a little more than a week from here. I am not giving up yet and neither should you."
Ezekielâs lips quivered, "I'll try to keep up with you. I will make this whole thing up to you." He spoke meekly. "I'll take your book more seriously. If things get worse or take a turn for the worst, it's my last hope, right?"
"Don't worry about it, son. You just tell me when it gets too much."
"What if I get too tired?" He whispered.
Joshua spoke with conviction, "Then I'll carry you. Just as I carry the burdens the Lord has rested upon me, I will carry yours as well. Your pain, I will add onto my own.â
Smiling up at Joshua, he let go of his hand and instead, wrapped one arm around Joshuaâs back and began walking in sync with Joshua, doing his best to keep up with the older man's stride. In turn, Joshua rested his own arm across the boyâs shoulders.
"Are there any dangers on the way to Vegas?" Ezekiel questioned.
Joshua held the boy close. "Not here in Legion territory. It's the safest area of the wasteland. In NCR controlled territory... well, they don't stamp out the dangerous wildlife much. Including bandits and raiding bands.â
"Dad said that whenever he traveled with you, he'd get irritated sometimes. You would clear out groups of yao gui, mantises, and White Legs faster than he could reload and take aim! The second he took aim, he'd have to readjust because you ended up in view and he didn't want to hurt you, of course. With skills like that if anyone tried to tell me that I'm not safe with you then I don't know who I'd be safe with." Talking with his free hand, he waved in front of the both of them trying to tell the story with his hand.
"Well... he exaggerated a bit there. I usually try getting a bit closer with my pistol, yes. Him using a rifle he always stayed behind and took calculated shots over long distances while I let the Lord guide my shots... and fire many of them."
"Yeah I know. He told me that you put a bunch of bullets into Salt-Upon-Wounds. You know if your aim is true, and as good as Dad said it is, you only needed 1 bullet." He joked. "Sometimes too, he'd tell us all the swears he'd spew every time you ran into the sights of his gun, right before he'd go and pull the trigger."
"You better not repeat them, boy." Joshua warned. "You see, when you want a man dead, you need to make sure he is really dead. I am the best example myself. Caesar wanted me dead. He and his assassins failed to see that through. I am not going to make that mistake with anyone I engage with.â He sighed, âI see a lot of your father in you. He was far from perfect, but he was a good man and in these trying times, that is more than I could ask for."
"You cared for him, then? He said it was hard to tell how you felt about him. You'd never really tell him how you felt and that he never knew if he was going to wake up again in Zion some nights because he was afraid he'd tick you off somehow.â
"You see, I may not show it, but he was a man I respected. A warrior. He treated me with respect, too. Even with our disagreements."
Ezekiel looked thoughtfully up at the Arizona sky, thinking of his late father. âIâm sure he figured that.â His eyes flickered back to Joshua, where their eyes met for a brief moment. The pair smiled lightly at each other and held one another closely as they walked, appreciating the company. Looking back on the road, the two followed the road ahead, back towards the desert in which Ezekiel had run from when his family was ripped from him.
#shattered hearts and broken dreams#The title is a work in progress#fallout new vegas#By Me and Igelfish (Not a tumblr user)#ezekiel cassidy#Joshua Graham#Blood#Vomiting#Parental death
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AP web exclusive: All Time Low tour diary
Posted by Scott Heisel on 08-Dec-06 @ 04:43 PM
Last month, Baltimore pop-punkers All Time Low took to the road with Sugarcult for a series of shows on the West Coast. Here's some of what they saw, in words and pictures. Learn more at www.alltimelow.com.
#1------------------------------------------------------------ Ooohooo So last night we celebrated two awesome occasions...well 3 since matt's molars finally grew in...anyways yesterday was Haloween and our first night of our tour with Sugarcult. I must say, it is pretty strange touring with a band who I spent the better years of my middle school life watching on MTV. Regardless of where this band has been, it definetly didn't eff with their personalities. They were all super nice to us and each came up and introduced themselves. The show went pretty well but it wasn't a good judgement of our the whole tour is going to be because Sugarcult didn't even headline, the Eagles Of Death Metal did, and the tickets for $25 on Haloween night :) I'm sorry but I would never go to a show if those were the circumstances...I'd be out expanding my collection of holiday treats. Tonight the 'real' tour begins so we will see how it goes. We are playing Washington State University in Pullman Washington. We haven't done too many college shows, so this should be interesting...anyways before we got on the road a couple days ago we were couped up in Ben Harper's (formely of yellowcard, now in amber pacific) house/studio in long beach, CA working on our new CD :). We demoed some hot licks that were going to send over to our producer matt squire so that he can put in some input. I heard my blogs are going to be posted on the Alternative Press website for this tour, so if that's the case then...helll yeah! Well I just woke up from sleeping in the van so I am gonna walk out into the freezing streets of Pullman, WA crack my back and grab some Qudoba. Much Love, Jack --jbstar #2------------------------------------------------------------ Yoo dooodds, So I'm gonna update you guys on the passed couple shows...on Wednsday we played Washington State University. Those kids are freaking crazy! Everyone seemed to be having a good time and we made some awesome new friends. I cannot stress enough, how cool the Sugarcult guys are. Which is really cool because I have been listening to those guys since 6th grade! Anyways before we played, matt thought it would be a good idea to have a fork and knife fight backstage...yeah it turned pretty ugly and we should have some footage online soon enough. That night we partied at 'The Christmas House'. Lets just say that I'm pretty sure alex made out with a dog...I really miss Hit The Lights :( Anways...we played Seattle after the college show and it was offf the hoooook. Everyone in the room was dancing and it got pretty redic. As soon as we told them the alex/dog story they went nuts. We met up with the Pink Spiders that night. We were nervous about that because we've heard some stuff...but for real those guys are the shit. There all super nice and we have no complaints about them. We have yet to tour with a band who we don't get along with (fingers crossed). We also heard that we may be doing a few shows with Cobra Starship in Dec, if that happends that would be sick. I'll keep you guys updated. Someone made us a bucket of the craziest donuts ive ever seen at the portland show last night!! They were reallly good. Sorry for the lack of pics, I'll make sure my next post has more, its just hard to take good pics on a sidekick :). Talk to you guys soon!!Jacko #3------------------------------------------------------------ Yo Babaayyss, Last nights show was off the hook! I love playing at The Boardwalk in orangevale calii. The crowd was as wild as usual and a bunch of kids were singing along. A lot of the same kids who saw us there on the Amber Pacific tour came back. Its always cool to see so many familiar faces,,,cough cough hint hint nudge...you get the idea folks! The next couple shows should be interesting...reno and vegas. I wont be able to gamble but at least ill be able to look at a lot of lights. We all have family comming out, so that should be exciting. I havent seen my brother and sister in ages and i know their gonna be wasted so that means they will be even more friendly :) Also Meg n Dia join up in vegas which is sick, SO SIKED FOR THAT!!! We met them on warped and their super nice. anyways i think its time, i go to In and Out because after this tour im not going to be able to go back for a while :( im going to eat there everyday twice a day until we leave Arizona. Ive attached pics from our set on the Epitaph stage at this years Bamboozle Left and also some pics of our acoustic set the 2nd day! Thanks to everyone who watched us either/both days :) love you peace peace n a bottle o' hair grease, jack #4------------------------------------------------------------ Wow...vegas has to be one of the strangest places on this earth. First of all we showed up in Reno (shity city) only to find that only sugarcults crew was there and the show probably wasnt going on. We were welcomed by a hooker in a pink tanktop and no teeth asking if we had any shirts we could give her...Thankfully we have power windows and middle fingers. Thankfully zack was asleep or he might have took her up on some of her offers...he's getting desperate you know..just kidding! Anyways we decided to hang out with sugarcults crew for a little then start the drive to vegas early since it was 8 house. We got to go over the Hoover Damn which was sweet. It's seriously Vegas Vacation all over again! Anyways, we got to vegas around midnight and it was a fantastic site! My bro and sis were staying at the MGM so thats where i headed. Rian to the Excalibur, Alex and Matt to the Venecian and Zack to the Luxor. We all split up and hung out with our fam for the evening. My brother took me around vegas and boyyy was it interesting. I was approached by numerous drunk people. It was basically like an Ocean City, Maryland for older people. It's just a place for adults to drink, walk around drunk, act like teenagers and maybe gamble a bit here n' there. it was Akward to say the least. Anyways the next day was the show at the House Of Blues at Mandalay Bay...probably one of the nicest venues we have ever played. We introduced ourselves to the Meg n Dia folks and got to know our new tour mates as we shared a dressing room. We soon found they are awesome people and they share a love for getting wild! The show was pretty cool, and the crowd was big. It was weird though because the merch was not in the venue, it was in the cassino haha. Anyways Vegas was an experience we wont forget, and I cant wait till we go there again. I hope the next time we go, were 21...actually nevermind because that would be three years :)stay rad, Jack #5------------------------------------------------------------ Lame! Tonight was our last show on the Sugarcult Tour featuring The Pink Spiders and Meg n Dia :( Damone will be taking our place on this great lineup. I am jelous that they get to join up! Anyways we made some lifetime friends on this tour and it was a great experience for everyone. Every single show was amazing and the fans never let us down. Traveling to bumfuck arizona and hearing a couple hundred kids sing your song is the coolest feeling ever. Sugarcult was very warming towards us and their personalities suprised the shit out of me. they were such cool guys and even when zack was sick they made him soup and gave him Emergen-C. WHO DOES THAT !?!? Thats like something my mom does...so in a way Sugarcult are our parents. They actually reffered to us as their younger brothers on stage. At the last show of the tour in Little Rock, Arkansas us and Meg n Dia ran on stage during "Bouncing Off the Walls" and started bouncing around and took over Tim's Guitar n Mic, Marko's (my twin) guitar and Airens Bass. It was so fun to bro down with a band that ive been listening to since middle school haha. Alex also got to soundcheck with sugarcult at Texas AM College because tim was at the hospital taking care of his sickness (i think he had a nasty cold). It was so crazy to see alex soundcheck with a band who for the past few years have held a special spot on my ipod and in my cd player :) I attached a pic of him sound-checking for fun. At the end of the show we said our goodbyes and gave our hugs. This is'nt the end of these friendships though, only the beggining...now we head home to write a new cd. Catch us on the road in the northeast in december when we head out with Cobra Starship! Stay safe, Jack
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2020 isolation diaries
2020 has been the wildest trip of my life so far. Iâm honestly shocked this is my first post of the new year and were in May. But it feels like its just the beginning...
I started the year in vegas with my best friends, having the funnest time of my life. I was doing whatever I wanted, and had the best high day recovery that made me love weed all over again lol. I also noticed I was putting myself out there more than ever by going over to our guy friends house after vegas that Im not the closest with but just doing that make me closer than ever with this group of amazing people.Â
I made a pact to myself that I would stop being so invested in the relationship I had with you know who, but that didn't last long when i started to finally get the physical part i wanted from the relationship. but getting that wish opened my eyes even more that it was toxic. I dont blame myself or him i just think we were two broken people who needed to learn lessons about love and ourselves.
Crssd -Â the last festival in history for awhile. me and my soulmate were brought back into eachothers lives and alot of things started to make yet again more sense to me. I realized how reliant i can get with my friendships/relationships and thats what was breaking me so far apart from this separation we were going through. I really worked on myself to become my own best friend first. and then we reunited along with my other best friends i hadnt seen since graduating college. it was a perfect weekend that I wouldnt change for the world.
Things really changed for everyone when the infamous corona virus shut down our world as we knew it. I feel like from the beginning i had a really positive outlook on it. It helped me realize my blessings even more...having a super fun job i could work from home doing, living in a big cute house with two amazing roomates, and having friends around me to talk to.Â
I then went to a Psychic the day before I was leaving to quarantine with my family. Pheobe was her name and she really helped finalize my thoughts on my love life i was trying to build up for the past 2 years. Its done its over. She also said i didnt have to go to CA. but the rebel i am ... i didnt take that piece of advice.
Iâm beyond blessed to have gotten a safe flight back to my childhood home where i didnt realize i would spent the next few months learning more about myself and my family then ever. getting laid off my first real person job was a blow at first until i remembered how much i thrive off freedom. I learned to love myself so so much. I love creating, I love music, I love my friends, I love my family, I love how I know in my heart I can do anything I want to do.Â
So this brings me to now. I know Iâm moving to LA in the fall. I know Friends & Disco is my passion project. I know I am so much closer to the person ive always dreamed of becoming, I know im spiritual and that what i have to say matters alot and is interesting.Â
I am so excited to have an amazing freedom filled summer, yet with more self discipline then ever. I am so excited to move to LA, I am so excited for future love in my life that i deserve! 2020 your wild but like ive never needed this drastic of a change so much in my life.Â
xx
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2019
a whole summary of this difficult year
2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.
january
spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian
had such a good time with guildies from our game
met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established
tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once
feburary
continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.
actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))
one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.
also, a huge liar. yah, big no
i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened
towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my âfriendsâ for having really bad assumptions of me.
i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.
even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the âdating gameâ for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again
a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered âthe universe really works in crazy waysâ
march
met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.
also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo
remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him
i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)
this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot
also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place
april
tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!
also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean
also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun
i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dmâd me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis
((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like âare you ready for this?â and âhave you really recovered from that guy?â or âcan you give this guy your all?â just alot of overthinking))
spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho
unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.
may
so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away
but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (
i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting
eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much
june
my birthday wasnt rly that like âwowâ it was actually kinda annoying
my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!
went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun
rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again
also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (
july
went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild
also rolled there.
also threw up for the very first time
a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table
also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so âŚ. i was like ok.. fuck âŚ
also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it
like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it
august
bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff
and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c
we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles
and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!
it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!
also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time
to make it super short tho: our friend that weâve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol
september
cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe
towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!
AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!
october
during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough
november
spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.
went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof
slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!
went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.
also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and heâs the only tall white guy
made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.
december
flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!
cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him
also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my familyâs bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.
christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff
overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, heâs man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but heâs so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but heâs so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.
did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course youâre gonna want youâre significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. heâs someone who understands me and knows how to love me.
i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.
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