#ive been posting more random thoughts hm

[indecisive-dizzy]

designing tattoos for traumatized/struggling characters that represent their struggles, growth, and healing >>>>>>>

[creatingblackcharacters]

Some of my thoughts for your conversation about inaction towards antiBlack/racist behavior in shared online spaces (particularly fandom).

1. "I dont see it / I dont go here" - this was my first thought/defensive reaction and in reading others responses I think its a shared one.

Tumblr is perhaps unique in how purposely you can shape your experience and limit what you interact with. Blocking someone just cause is fully acceptable and expected here.

So, when Ive seen depictions of 'Black' characters that made me go, "Mmm idk man" its been my policy to just block and move on. Less chance of seeing a racist in the tags I like in the future *shrug*

Now on other sites perhaps there is some consideration that could be given to not wanting to boost something racist via interaction...but that's not how Tumblr works. Furthermore your reminder that seeing things go unopposed is the problem hit me like a frying pan to the face. Because...yeah duh.

We know the 'social rules' of this platform, you report/block the porn bots, you dont spam tags for engagement (or report if you see it), add image descriptions, reblog things you like etc. Would it be so hard to leave a simple comment on the things you want to see be changed?

2. "What if I do it wrong/I dont know this fandom/Not my place to speak?" - I firmly believe the main reasons people dont meaningfully engage with posts here or on other platforms is two fold: Responses and Outting.

If you were to post a mild comment saying for example, "Hey, feels kinda weird how you're only talking about this Black character being violent in this show. Why dont you check out this blog post by CBC, a Black artist who really digs into this topic more?"

Now you are expected to 1. 'deal' with whatever that persons response is and 2. Anyone an see and respond to what you said.

I think we generally expect random stranger interactions on the Internet to be unpleasant but, like if we are putting the focus on caring about Black people in out spaces...shits already 'unpleasant' for them.

Its time to start firing fireworks off in our neighborhoods to keep the rents low so to speak. You, non-Black folk (i.e me), dont have to wage endless comment battles with someone who wont listen. Just stating what you are seeing is enough, its marking that post for other people coming along. Forcing the question, "Y'all are we cool with this?"

As for messing up/having a record of things you said someone else might take issue with later on. Yeah but thats already happening whenever you reblog anything.

If you actually spoke out of turn just say, "Im sorry thanks for letting me know" and move on with your life. Otherwise folks on here will actually harass you over your shipping preferences so your rolling those dice already. Why not do it for something better worth it?

3. A Note - Genuinely thank you for posing these thoughtful question and just honestly expressing your frustration/hurt. It helped me think more deeply about some old habits.

Thank you!

Hm. And you're welcome

[denny-artsss]

how about caine sending post-redemption arc jax and gangle to an actual cornfield and gangle has to help him through it as they get out

(in a kind of face your fears adventure but gangle is also thrown into jax's fear by mistake)

Caine: OHHHH JAXXXX!

Jax: ohh..my head- I'm getting a headache- *looks up at Caine* oh no it's just you. A headache would've been the easy way out.

Caine: IVE DECIDED THAT FOR TODAYS ADVENTURE ILL DO SOMETHING THAT WILL HELP YOU ON THE LONG RUN!

Jax: ...

Jax: you're gonna kill your-

Caine: THATS RIGHT! IM GONNA MAKE YOU FACE YOUR FEARS BY COMBINING THE TWO THINGS YOURE MOSTLY SCARED OF! CORN ANDDDD GANGLE! *points at Gangle*

Gangle: *blinks confused*

Jax: what? I'm not scared of Gangle- WAIT WHAT? CORN? ARE YOU INSAN-

*gets teleported into a corn field with Gangle*

Gangle: huh- this isn't so bad- *looks around* right Ja-

Jax: *freaking out and covering his eyes rocking himself back and forth*

Gangle: anddd... you're freaking out.

Jax: GANGLE! GET ME THE &#%$ OUT OF HERE! *grabs onto her*

Gangle: YOURE TUGGING MY RIBBONS! *tries to pull away*

Jax: *clings onto her tighter as he panics*

Gangle: JAX- OW- STOP IT YOURE HISTERIC!

Jax: *freaking out and grabbing her tighter*

Gangle: *slaps his face and shakes him violently* CALM DOWN!!!

Jax: wow Gangle you'd make a great mother to a newborn.

Gangle: you'd make a great patient at a psych ward- *looks around* well..it's a maze so- if we just go through the cor-

Jax: IM NOT GOING THROUGH THAT!

Gangle: it's okay you can just- hm..you can close your eyes and hold my hand and I'll lead you out!

Jax: I SAID NO YOU IDIOT!

Gangle: fine then I'm going alone. You can stay here. *walks away*

Jax: NO NO COME BACK!

Gangle: *keeps walking*

Jax: PLEASE IM SORRY- IM JUST SCARED-

Gangle: *sighs and turns around* okay. Close your eyes and give me your hand.

Jax: *grabs her hand and closes his eyes walking with her*

*random corn plant touches his arm*

Jax: *opens his eyes and yells punching left and right then jumping on Gangle* IT TOUCHED ME GANGLE IT TOUCHED ME!

Gangle: *sighs and carries him* I would lie if I didn't say that you lowkey deserve this for all the times you triggered Ragathas phobia. I mean even on Christmas-

Jax: Gangle. It's worse enough I'm in this situation. I dont need to hear your nagging.

Gangle: *panting frustrated and carries him outside the maze setting him down* there. You big baby, it didn't bite you.

Caine: GOOD JOB! YOU FOUND THE WAY OUT! AND CONFRONTED YOUR FEARS!

Gangle: actually I found the way out-

Jax: and I'm even more scared now.

Caine: really Jax? Both of your fears are still present?

Jax: both of my- IM NOT SCARED OF GANGLE!

Caine: you're scared of losing her right? The maze was supposed to separate you two!

Gangle: scared of losing me? Why would you think he's scared of losing me?

Caine: I read it in his biography *pulls out a book*

Jax: *snatches it* THATS MY DIARY! I TOLD YOU TO STOP SNOOPING AROUND MY ROOM! GOD CAINE YOURE LIKE A HELICOPTER PARENT!

Caine: is that what it means? *sad expression* I thought everyone called me that because I'm like a father figure and can fly..

Gangle: *smirks at jax*

Jax: I will break that smirk off your mask in a second.

[friendlyengie]

Heyo thought I’d drop some random tf2 hcs and stuff cause of ur post :D

- scout and Pyro get along really well and scout will draw for pyro. Scout likes them cause he seems to actually listen to scout talk

- Engineer is pretty oblivious when it comes to people having feelings for him and hes (kinda accidentally) decent at flirting tho

- Engineer is like a father figure to scout and it makes spy really jealous lol

- Demo is really good at karaoke

- Since spy is good at finding this out about people based on body language etc. he knows exactly who has crushes on who in the base and he thinks it’s SO OBVIOUS but it’s not to the rest of them and he’s really close to just screaming at everyone that they’re blind and to just kiss already. He’s just forced to watch all these pining idiots dance around each other and he hates it

- Heavy and Medic have a book club that is just the two of them

- Scout would be a good dad later in life if he had a kid

ohohhoho interesting. Cracks my knuckles.

-scout and pyro friendship truther until I DIE. I find the idea of scout going from being terrified of this weird “thing” to just being besties with Pyro kind of hilarious. I think they can both do art pretty well actually! I like to think they run around towns and do graffiti together.

-Nodding at this. I also think it helps that (to me) hes naturally very friendly and polite because of how he was raised and like half of the people on his team havent heard anything nice from another human being since they were actual children (if that.) Is he good at flirting or are your standards dangerously low? Is it both? Great question!

-Ive always seen engineer as more of a low-maintenance uncle figure to scout If That. They’re just kind of a pretty standard close older dude with a lot of life experience and younger dude with fuck all going on friendship to me. and tbh ive never. Really been able to get behind the idea of spy being “jealous” of any sort of relationship Scout has with other mercs. Whether it’s him being weirded out by father standins or judgemental of potential partners. I don’t think he doesn’t have a weird relationship with seeing scout bond with the other mercs but i feel like it’s just sort of. Idk. A little more of a unique issue for him.

-Accepted. Though i think “good” for him ranges from “genuinely good singing” to “loud, overconfident, and having a great time getting half of the lyrics wrong.”

-As much as I think it would be fun if spy was surprisingly emotionally dense, i cant deny his canonical skills in that sort of field. That’s like. His whole game. I think his approach to trying to help anyone with romance is “he wont unless youre prepared to basically just inflate his ego for the sake of a few tips.” A la expiration date.

-no doubt in my mind that heavy and medic dont agree with a single thing that the other gleams from reading books. Said with love. They will argue about meanings and subtext and the value of interpretation until it sounds like someone’s about to file for divorce and then end with “so same time next week ^_^?”

-I will be so honest with you. I do not know if i could ever see scout being a father, much less a good one NDGSKHJDKNJJ.

Actually . Hm. Thinking about it. I could. SEE it in a sense. I think he would have some good steps to go off of because of his Mom. Unsure of how good his ma’s parenting was but she at least was very caring toward her kids. He’d have that. But i think he’d have to be a lot more emotionally mature to be able to process how his own current issues with dads and fatherhood would healthily translate into being a dad himself. I could see him being really laid back and maybe a little too “im not just your parent, im your friend,” and any hypothetical kid he has would Not take his ass seriously. I think having to parent a teenager would kill him.

[kmoplq]

My Mother’s Café

Johnny ‘Soap’ McTavish x GN!Reader

Synopsis: All of 141 is on leave and you thought you’d relax at your local and favorite café with the nice lady working there. Little did you know McTavish would take her place.

Notes: This was the most random idea ive ever had and the fastest ive ever went up with an idea like that 💀💀

WC:596

Twice a year, unless of injury, all of 141 gets to go on leave. This was 1 out of 2 of those weeks. You laid in bed, wondering what you should do on your time off.

Normally, you’d sleep or only go out for groceries since no one else besides Laswell, from the task force was in America. You didn’t want to disturb her and her wife’s time asking to go out somewhere.

You decided to at least get up and take a shower. After you got home last night, you just striped and went straight to your bed.

While getting undressed, you remembered the café that you’d always visit on your time off. That’s when you decided to go there instead of sleeping the break away.

You got out the shower, dried off, and went to your closet. Since you hadn’t been home for a while, it never crossed your mind to do the laundry. You looked up to the tiny amount of clothes on the white plastic hangers to pick out.

You thought about going to the gym later, so you just threw on your compression shirt and some shorts. You grabbed your keys and phone and headed out the door.

As you pulled up to the café, you noticed the usual long line. The place had very few people come around, reason being why you loved it so much. You turned off your car and walked in.

What you didn’t expect to see is Soap panicking behind the counter with a red apron on and hair threw back into a mohawk ponytail with a scrunchie.

You couldn’t help but laugh, the sight almost making you belly laugh in the blaring café. You didn’t realize that you were next in line until you heard Soap clear his throat.

“Hello and welcome to Scottish delights how can i help you today?”

You finally looked up to him. Getting a good glimpse of him made your face warm. His scar down his eye shining in the early morning, almost afternoon.

“I didn’t know you worked another job, McTavish?”

“I don’t. Im here on my mama’s behalf.” “Your mom?” “Yeah, shes out sick. The flu.”

You had to do some mental mathematics in your head to calculate what he meant.

“Like.. Your mom is an employee??”

“No dimwit, she owns the place.”

You had to blink at him for a split second, but your small dick sized brain finally caught on.

“O-“ “Listen hurry up and order and i’ll explain more after my shift, I get off at 6.”

You ordered your usual and waited at a table patiently. You thought about the woman, finally noticing the smile so similar to Soap’s, the body language, the eyes, and most definitely the accent.

You can tell he got most of his traits from her too.

“number 65 with a black tea, 3 sugar cubes, and one cranachan.”

You heard Soap yell, he almost sounded like he was on the field.

Seeing peoples heads and faces turn startled was funny. You got up from your seat and walked over ti the counter.

“Hm, maybe I should meet your mother more personally?”

“Don’t sweat it, she doesn’t like dimwits like you.” “Really? Because every time i’d come here, she seems very fond of me.”

He started turning pink and shoved the bag and cup towards me.

“Just get the hell out and i’ll see you at your place later.” “Ok, seems like a date though. See you later!!”

You took your order and headed out the café towards your car.

IM SORRY FOR NOT POSTING BUT UH HERE U GO SS MY APOLOGY 😞😞 (might be a part 2??)

[ariicandy]

hiii can i request wxs or n25 with reader slowly loosing passion in music? and starts to distant herself from them. (platonic!!)

Hii! I love this request you sent! A little angst won’t mind hm? Dont worry it wont be all angst, there is some comfort so dont attack me for this 😞 Also sorry for this very long delay, I’ve been sick and it’s been draining me but I do feel better now!

🎧 • Note! - Lack of motivation, might be ooc on one or all members in one of these ideas! I might do your wxs request in another post! I’ll try to remember when I have time to write again once requests are done!!

N25 With An Reader Slowly Loosing Passion In Music

0:00 ───|────── 0:00

↳ 🎧 • When you started to lose passion on music and distancing yourself from the others, they all thought you were just having bad days and wanted time for yourself. Mizuki might have been the first to reach out to ask if you were okay and why were you distancing yourself?

↳ 🎧 • Once you have explained to mizuki that you are slowly loosing passion on music as the reason to be distance because you didn’t really enjoy it a lot making song. Once the others were told about this they might understand thinking you find other ways of finding yourself as everyone is different as they will probably only get your opinion on some songs sometimes when the group is undecided about it. Or might ask if you still want to make music/help with music with your remaining passion incase you still want to find it, they will gladly make music with you a lot even if you didn’t find your passion that you lost, it was really fun them making music and memories that they will remember and cherish <33

↳ 🎧 • If you did lose complete passion on music, they all understand and would only as your opinion like I have said and just try not to bring you into a lot of their work into you since you don’t want to anymore. They will still be your friend tho! You help ena with her paintings getting inspiration by you and making an impact on her development. You helping Kanade trying to take care of herself slowly in her own pace, going to her house every 2 or every few days checking if she atleast try doing something for herself like cleaning up just something around her room, getting food so she doesn’t go hungry, or even seeing if she has gotten water! You slowly help mafuyu with her opening finding herself on trying to doing things like going to aquarium that knows she likes, observing what things she doesn’t like or is fine/neutral doing. Helping mizuki slowly trying to find the courage to express themself to others by trying to pretend your a totally random person, or even a classmate, trying to do a conversation to start being friends!

↳ 🎧 • niigo won’t be very pushy on you losing passion on music, I believe they will be very understandable since you all are friends and you visit in the empty sekai a lot so they enjoy your company a lot, being friends with them is amazing as you get to discover a lot of things about them you didn’t know! Overall, Kanade, mafuyu, ena and mizuki won’t be mad, pushy or anything worried cause they understand everyone finds themself in different ways so they will understand a lot and try helping you if you find passion on something else even if they don’t know anything about that certain thing/topic, they will listen to you and help <33

↳ 🎧 • SO SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG DELAY IVE BEEN VERG SICK AND I HAVE RECOVERED ILL GET BACK ON REQUESTS!! ILL OPEN AGAIN SOON ONCE I DO A COUPLE MORE!!(it was closed due to me being very sick and drain so I took a sick break)

[koiifiishy]

I don't know if I should ask here or on the main blog, but what do you think some of Kou's voice lines would be like(rain, thunder, etc), or his hangout(4-stars vibes sorry)/story quest?

Hello! thank you for this ask ^^ sending it here is okay, no worries. my main is in perpetual shadowrealm timeout (thank you tumblr) so its probably best to send me things on this acc! as for your question, thats a good ask :0c ive vaguely thought about it before but never wrote anything concrete down. i'll throw some random ones out but if you had particular lines you wanted know, please feel free to ask!

also - thank you for waiting so long for this answer :")c i know it was sent sooo long ago. also! i assigned him stephanie sheh as usagi tsukino (sailor moon) for his voice claim :3c if that helps you imagine his voice while saying these lines.

Hello: oh, come on, you already know me! ... fine - i'll tell you again, and this time you better commit it to memory: i! am kou, and i'm not just a nekomata - i'm The nekomata! the best there is! a true yokai! i set fires hotter than the sun, my dancing can raise the very dead, i've feasted upon the FLESH of humans!!! huh? ... no, not recently, you told me not to... i've been behaving!

Rain: y'know, cats and rain don't really mix well together..! can't we go find someplace warm and i dunno - not wet?

Thunder: hey, did you know that if you hold your sword up really high in a thunderstorm, it'll scare away the lightning? it's true, try it!

Favorite Food: chicken! fish! and when you put them on a stick, doesn't it make it more fun to eat? but really, i'm not all that picky - so give me lots of treats, okay~?!

Least Favorite Food: it's not that i don't like it exactly... but i just can't stomach it, y'know. what am i talking about? alcohol! i can't stand it! ugh, not even a cup in and i'm snoozing away, belly up, for all the world to see my fur! it's so undignified... hey, you're not thinking of using this against me, are you...

About 1: hm? what do you wanna know that i haven't already told you? i'm not holding anything back y'know, i just can't remember some things... but you're gonna help me with that, right? you promised!

Memories: sometimes... i get this feeling like i've lost something. something really important, that i shouldn't have misplaced - but when i try to check myself, it's like, i know that it's not just some thing like my clothes or my bracers. it's more important than that... i'm missing something special.

About Paimon: hmph... you know that gnat better than anyone, so why ask me. ... uuugh - i'll stop calling her a gnat when she stops hovering around my head and buzzing in my ears all the time! what - no! i don't hate her. . . i'm just the better companion, obviously. you think so too, right? ...RIGHT???

About Traveler: aaw, do you need a little praise? c'mere, i'll pat your head for you~ hehe. ... i never did thank you, did i. so much has happened between me waking up and now. all of the adventures we've been on together and the people we've met... and the things we've seen and done... i may not always say it, but i am appreciative to be here; by your side, as your friend. ...it's okay, if you need someone to lean on. stay here a little while longer, let me brush your hair...

as for his story quest or hang out (i could see him having either, but i think he'd most likely have a story quest instead of a hangout! nothing too long, but since he's the traveler's second companion a hangout event seems a little redundant - they're usually 'hanging out'! lol) i've thought about it off and on and i think it'd just be a one part quest; he doesn't remember much of his past besides vague things, so it'd probably deal with him regaining those memories.

i imagine that, fitting into a canon game timeline, he'd of regained most of his memories post-chasm yaksha event. that would've triggered a lot of his memories to come back, since the chasm is where a very significant struggle in his past took place. he's an old cat lol. if not at this time though, i can for sure see him regaining all of his memories in the sumeru archon quest line, since memory and timelines are such a big thing there. by the desert and fontaine's storylines, kou has for sure gained all of his memories and i think he'd of had a character quest by then.

i don't have anything concrete, but having him run off for a longer time than the traveler is used to having him be gone would probably be the push for them to find him/the beginning of that quest. something like paimon stating "it's been a while since kou's been around, hasn't it? where did that cat run off to now?!" and prompting the traveler to asking around if anyone's seen him (probs in liyue). little search quest, finding clues while running around liyue. find some clues at the cave that they originally found him in, maybe use elemental sight to see that he's been there recently. follow that out and find kou? something like that!

i dont think i've really written in depth on this blog about kou's background. or like. anything LMAO,,, i just share silly art that i make of him. but his story quest would be very melancholy. tl;dr, he's a nekomata originally from inazuma who was tricked into servitude and was the mochizuki clan's property (assassin? "political helper" lol??) for a few generations until towa. towa stole him away from inazuma and they went to mainland teyvat, mostly traveling mondstadt, liyue, and some of sumeru; focused on liyue though. the cataclysm happens, towa is a healer and good soul and volunteers his help; kou of course sticks by his side and fights that good fight. but towa saw how much it took out of everyone, and how even those that weren't humans couldn't handle this much fighting and suffering; towa didn't want kou's entire life to be spent fighting for others, and decided to use a bit of underhanded trickery himself, to seal kou away.

it was "for his own good", but that doesn't change that kou felt betrayed by it. he was prepared to die and would have welcomed it, if he could have perished protecting towa. he hadn't been fighting for liyue, or for the 'greater good', he'd only been fighting for towa - his "special person". that's who he was forgetting and what he felt he'd lost after waking up, and he only got vague feelings and splintered memories of happier times with him. his story quest would definitely focus on him remembering towa and the events that led up to his sealing and the betrayal he felt by it, and the pain of losing towa not only once but remembering it all over again and feeling like he'd lost him a second time.

like any good quest, there needs to be a fight >:3c which i think he'd be the boss of his own quest, with the traveler fighting him. they fought him once before when he had just woken up in modern teyvat, but by this time i think with him a lot more lucid (even if he's in emotional turmoil) they wouldn't be able to overpower him like they had before. i think it'd be a scripted end to the fight, where kou's pinned the traveler down or something but instead of finishing them off, the traveler feels tears hit their face; straddled over them, kou's chest heaved with sobs. his red eyes shone like rubies through his tears, his mouth twisted into a pained grimace. though his metal claws was poised to strike, the traveler forgot about any imminent danger to themself ; in that moment, all they could feel was a resounding sadness. something like that - kou yelling that he can't handle being left again. he doesn't want to lose the traveler like he lost towa. eventually they're going to leave, when they reunite with their sibling, right? cue traveler consoling him and calming him down, AND A HUG there needs to be a hug after all that.

as is the way, there's of course that moment after the quest where kou's just standing someplace outlooking the scenery wistfully. no further dialog from him, just one of those "he looks like he needs a minute to himself..." traveler inner thoughts pop up.

or something along those lines lol! thanks for the questions :>

[joshuaalbert]

harry kim… ive missed your voyager posting but i want to hear your thoughts on dear harry boy…

favorite thing about them

he's my most favoritest guy. i love him. if like .03% of the things that had happened to him happened to me i'd be out there murdering bitches or something and he's still just out here being a nice friendly guy who tries his best for the ship and for other people. like sometimes they do a rly good job of making it clear that there's this very deep well of resolve to him and he is an incredibly hard person to break despite experiencing the horrors so so so often. BUT i also love it when he's unhinged like he absolutely deserves to get to go off the rails sometimes. and i like it when he's making little petty comments he deserves that too.

least favorite thing about them

i mean we all know this but he's SO fucked over by the writers/showrunners. there's literally no reason for the no promotion/left out of major storylines/frequently sidelined in favor of other characters deal except some like. racist bullshit. writers will be like "well we just don't think he's an interesting character" bitch then make him interesting lol that's your job.

brOTP

harry and b'elanna literally the single most important dynamic in the show to me. every episode that they don't have a scene together i think about committing unfathomable acts of violence. i really enjoy that they genuinely feel like friends who care tremendously about each other (although i wish we saw them hanging out more off duty or in the mess hall or whatever).

also like idk if it's a brotp because they're not like Bros but the harry and janeway dynamic makes me feel uhh vaguely insane. now that you're here someone can understand what i mean when i say it's kind of the inverse of picard and wesley in a lot of ways lmao.

OTP

honestly i cannot deny the weird gay thing he and tom have going on. with tom and b'elanna i can be like yeah she deserves better but a) he's usually better to harry than b'elanna because the writers don't seem to know how to write romantic storylines without some bullshit and b) it lowkey doesn't matter if harry deserves better because regardless of my opinions they just Do Have a weird and compelling fucked up gay thing. the chute literally exists.

also my beloved friend @aberfaeth who was my source of voy knowledge before i started watching voy is a ptk enthusiast and i like. very much see that in some arrangement i like whatever they've all got going on

nOTP

uhhh. hm. i dont know that i have one in terms of things that people actually ship? i am very not fond of the show's trend of giving him like tall blonde traditionally (western) beautiful women as like short term love interests that we're clearly supposed to assume he has absolutely no chance with because he's a lame nerd. in a vacuum him always going for like women that fit a specific mold of Hot Girl that he basically never actually has chemistry with would give comphet but i do think in this case it's far more representative of, again, the racist bullshit and it being very clear that they don't see him as being a viable romantic option.

random headcanon

i have not been rotating him in my mind long enough to have a ton of these but i do very much stand by my harry and b'elanna undefeatable battle bots build team headcanon

unpopular opinion

im not immersed enough in the voy ecosystem enough to know what opinions are popular tbh but i do think any headcanon that has harry like pining after tom is simply not a correct interpretation of events imo

favorite picture of them

like I said. I like it when he’s unhinged and when he’s petty.

[roycappsus]

This post is off topic, and random af so

Rant post btw

Hm

Ive seen a lot about the fluffy pony fandom

Fluffy pony abuse kind of thing.

Ive been apart of that fandom for like a few months, tbh idk how the fandom is like themselves, but ive been watching videos about fluffy ponies by gayroommate on yt

I like these vids because it reminds me when i was really young, mlp smile hd, and mlp cupcakes hd.

I have been exposed to a lot of gory things when i was a kid so it doesnt bother me, its not for everyone, like the saw franchise.

When i first watched them I was surprised, i enjoyed them a lot more than i shouldve and my favorite things about the movies were the traps. They were unique, gory, and they never really bothered me. Like some traps would make people grossed out or it was just to much, i never had that problem.

And now fluffy pony abuse doesnt bother me either, sure its cruel, and yes sometimes animals go through that but fluffy ponies are fictional. Yeah ik that sounds bad and all, but i find it unique of some comics of how far they are willing to go with the kills and torture methods.

Or maybe there is something wrong with me and i like watching people suffer. Who knows.

I need thoughts lol

Idk what this post is for im just rambling, maybe someone who knows mental stuff can help me out here lol

[chonnysinferno]

i am So bored so i guess i will expose myself as “not a cjshipper but not NOT a cjshipper tbh” anyway i will send you more music

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuYLhuXt4HrRFeV7wSFL-1LRMtj5353pq&si=xH73KXa9wHS_C4Yu KIJETESUMIKYOKU MY BELOVED

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuYLhuXt4HrRIt7XTnyygXomDqlW3xPFK&si=GUDQMCzy0apcWb5d ryuupekosi also my beloved!!!!!!

what was i saying oh right GO LISTEN TO JAN USAWI’S MUSIC RN AND GO TO BANDCAMP AND LISTEN TO ALL OF TOKI GAMING RIGHT NOW AND ALSO 8 (LUKA TU WAN)

https://youtu.be/-ILcH66zGcY this also

i can’t think of anything else i’ve been listening to lately besides maybe jreg and that would give you another thing to put on your dni, centricide fans /this is a JOKE

random song that i usually don’t listen to things in the type of: https://youtu.be/6xr_nVyNMMY

frums is based and other such good qualities: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mu9g_dVsgBz6d8vuWCsyPai59U8XeD8BM&si=buAGe2-pHnKEKm-E

while we r here go listen to dead but dreaming and sisyphus by vivivivivi (5 vi’s)

strobe light: https://youtu.be/7sKs7INaEoA?si=OTjLWaQx5CHtJ3Ws

finally, kulupu jan tenpo: https://youtu.be/fWHZz7ZCXqw?si=43agffZaBd0QvuSr

(i sent you the playlists to all of the songs in kijetesumikyoku n ryuupekosi but they r medleys by jan Misali so, also jan Misali’s other covers and stuff are good and i like their video essays)

(i was about to say like “i could send you ilo tenpo pi sin ala aka time machine reprise in toki pona” but i might as well just do it so: https://youtu.be/gl3W8-IwETc)

(i would send you anachronism but i have looked into myself and found the answer that that would be unnecessary self promotion so letter which has no negative or positive connotations + have a good day + i can send you a post with resources on toki pona + don’t die and other such)

on the cj shipper thing i do not really care to be honest if youre not weird about it / mention it and such its just a personal ick and i dont associate oyu with cj shipping anyways so i wouldnt have known i thought it was you as i dont rememrb anyone else who was associated with toki pona i wasnt going to reac h out to you tho becasue i dont rememebr your user + uhuhuhuuhuhuhuh yea! i cannot interact with other users without lookign like a freak i have negative feelings about you from something but i do not remember what! so i think that is probably in the past anyways onto the music tthese are not usually my genre of music but they are calming adn soothing and i like that the miku one is more up my alley because i am a vocaloid fan but on the side of faster paced music mostly because i cannot listen to slower music without getting bored the music is still good though and there is a lot of it and i will try to listen to it all in the span of a few months. or days ull never know i think this was obvious by the fact i enjoy artists like chonny jash , will wood , and other thingfs in that category (although i understand that their music has variety i enjoy songs like uhhh TME TSE THA rather than say NMTK and SaaST or. CCCC over CiD,, hm ill just link some things under the keep reading as a sample of music taste to not make this post any longer thjan it already is 😭😭😭 *) (edit : nvm theres not even a keep reading itll just be there ig) i think i have listened to vivivivivi's & lamp's music before!!!! i have enjoyed both so far but vivivivivi's more somehwat because of the pixel esque style of music (whihc might not be true for all of the songs they produxce but i am not a huge fan i am a norma;l enjoyer. somewhat) lamp i know is swomewhat in the calming / slow music section ^_^ alos not a huge fan because ive only listened to like one or two songs sooo i do not know toki pona which i think makes up a lotof this post / ask so it would bne great if oyu did send me a post about toki pona 👍 overall summary : music not my usual taste, does not mean they are bad, they are awesome anywasys, will try to listen to all of it when i can also self promotion is okay gimme em have a good day also and also do not die because that would be horrible o7 edit 2 : nvm we jammin edit 3 : you shouldve shared the vocaloid related ones with me first i wouldve been so hooked these are so good

* i do not have a playlist for these so bear withj me

most / all of everything is a lot also SELF-iSH i prefer those over uhhh icimi (in case i make it) and TNA (the normal album) i m not sure what else to put here. throws these at you (you dont have to listen to these btw)

[heartandmusic]

hm ok. so idk where else to write this but on my private public diary so here are some thoughts ive been having about movie musical cinematography

recently rewatched les demoiselles de rochefort and finally came to terms with the fact that my alltime favorite movie of all time is kinda wonky in terms of choreography and the staging of the dance numbers. i coundn;t think of an exact american counterpart i could compare it to in order to identify whats going on and i realized that the vast majority of old hollywood style musical numbers have some sort of device to make it at least a little diegetic (staging it as an actual in-story performance, dream ballet, impromptu dance battle, etc.) and if not there is usually a clear audience/performer divide. there are some scenes in rochefort where what i guess is this new wave realism is diametrically opposed to movie musical convention? e.g. when delphine is walking to guillaume's studio and there's random sidewalk choreography always felt a little off to me and i can't figure out why. is it because it's filmed from an almost covertly spectating realist perspective, throwing off the performer/audience divide? is it because the background street townspeople have choreo in this song but not in some of the other ones and it makes me confused? girl i don't know! it sucks because i do believe this is thee greatest film score ever composed in history and its accompanying physical manifestation is like. a bit lame. guess i gotta watch this movie 39092482034982 more times to figure out what the hell im thinking.

i also watched naatu naatu from rrr and the choreo blew me away but all the extras in the back swaying and clapping off beat was a little irritating. and it probably wasnt even their fault since the sound and music is most likely mixed in post. the live performance on the oscars on the other hand was the ideal fulfillment of this number since all the dancers were in the space together and it all goes back to live theatre doesn't it? i want to watch more bollywood musicals to get a better sense of the medium and if anyone has any reccies i will watch all of them.

anyway i found this book on physical dramaturgy/dance dramaturgy at the used bookstore a few days ago and i wanted to get it but for some reason it was eighty fucking dollars. laugh out loud!

[fujoshiwarrior]

i hope you don't mind me adding on to this because i was going to add this as tags but it was starting to get super long (also canto v spoilers):

hong lu has a line in canto v that struck me as random and out of place, and like there was absolutely no reason for it to be there at all. it's this line:

this line goes completely unacknowledged by everyone in the room, even sinclair who just asked him what he was humming about. so what's the point behind having him say this line at all?

afterwards when the sinners discuss if they should go with ahab, hong lu says they don't really have much of a choice but to go with ahab since she was heading to the heart anyway and they don't know left from right inside the whale.

in typical hong lu fashion, he seems kind of airheaded with his suggestion and maybe one could argue that he was naively trusting ahab (if you didn't know any better, of course.) the added context of him pretty much verbatim saying that they have no choice but to go along with ahab gives me the impression that this line was him openly doubting ahab (quite convenient that she just so happened to be on track to lead them exactly where they want to be, hm?) without compromising his carefully crafted airheaded bimboy image he's maintained thus far. it's also worth pointing out that while everyone was deeply suspicious of ahab, the only one who pointed out (or had any idea of) ahab's tendency of seeing straight through people right to exactly what it is they want in order to exploit their goals and desires was ishmael. but hong lu's line here pointing out that it's suspicious how ahab just happened to have the same location for her own goal so they should totally work together and trust her implies he immediately picked up on her tendency to manipulate others' desires for her own benefit. his suggestion to follow her to the heart might seem to contradict this, but he's right that...they really didn't have much of a choice, because feeling their way through the whale would be significantly riskier than having this person albeit suspicious lead them to exactly where they need to go. hong lu seems to have a very good grasp on other people in spite of how tactless he tends to act, this is particularly evident in canto iv in his interactions with yi sang.

this was meant to be more of an aside to what i intended to talk about which isn't related to canto v, but the mention of the ambiguity surrounding hong lu even in his source material and the cutthroat nature of his family reminded me of that.

what i meant to talk about is that hong lu's brother's name is "jia huan", and "jia" seems to be the family name im assuming? this was a random thought i had while reading your post, but what if hong lu isn't related to the jia family and was adopted into it? there's no evidence suggesting this of course, but it made me think for a bit. it would help explain why jia huan doesn't like him, though there are thousands of reasons for why that might be.

another thing i wanted to mention was a color fixer mentioned named the jade qilin

iirc, the jade qilin is first mentioned in library of ruina? i think? but i remember that before the release of limbus company, on the limbus company account there were tweets posted that detailed a conversation between roland and gebura about the current state of fixers. gebura asks him who the current strongest fixer is, and it leads into a discussion about various fixers: two names of note that roland mentions are the red gaze (who we know as vergilius), and the jade qilin.

as you outlined, jade is associated with hong lu and plays an important role in the dream of the red chamber. we know literally nothing about the jade qilin as of right now, but i don't think it's a stretch to say they're probably from hong lu's family.

something that's been on my mind is if hong lu comes from such a rich family...why is he even working as a low grade fixer at limbus company? some of his ids (namely his w corp id) suggest that he was hired because of nepotism. compared to chesed from lobotomy corporation, hong lu is a mystery because we were given an explicit reason why someone so rich was interested in a dingy lab in the middle of nowhere: because he genuinely believed in the seed of light project. granted, limbus company itself is very mysterious and plenty of the sinners' motivations for joining are murky, but hong lu strikes me as particularly strange because again...he's rich. he could have gone anywhere he wanted. jia huan being a part of a rival faction also vying for the golden boughs suggests that maybe their family wants something with the golden boughs, and considering how competitive we know the family is it probably isn't a stretch to think hong lu and jia huan would fight each over who gets it---the question then becomes why they, or why their family, wants the golden boughs

(i realize this is all just my personal speculation, but hong lu is definitely something)

ok i was cooking up another hong lu analysis thing bc i noticed SEVERAL things in his base id art the other day and wanted to share with the class but they just dropped a new one in the canto V trailer and i have some stuff i wanna talk about that one:)

My Hong Lu knowledge and interpretation is very heavily influenced by reading Dream of the Red Chamber, which may not be the best because I don’t know how much Limbus will pull from the book because it’s Long as fuck but I think it’s given me a deeper knowledge of Hong Lu.

Keep in mind this ego is NOT out yet so i could be totally off base depending on what the full animation/corrosion/sin affinities are like and this is totally theorizing but I wanted to have a go at anyway!! And this got totally out of hand so reading is appreciated :)

One of the first things I noticed here is this Hong Lu seems VERY Bao-yu. We still don’t know for sure what Hong Lu is within the context of Red Chamber (i don’t think it’ll be straightforward considering how that book works) but it’s important to note!

He has this little hat on (this is the best pic i can get atm to show it’s not a fancy hair tie, unfortunately the footage we have rn is a little scuffed)

and Bao-yu is ALWAYS depicted with a hat like this.

This could just be because that’s the appropriate outfit for Chinese nobility (I unfortunately have little to no reference point here, feel free to correct me, but from some quick searches hats aren’t ubiquitous and ESPECIALLY not ones of this style.) I think it’s worth noting because it comes up in nearly all modern depictions of Bao-yu.

There’s also the pearl Hong Lu is wearing on his neck/chest area, which is where Bao-yu wears the magic jade he was born with. His jade is translated into Limbus as Hong Lu’s jade eye, but this plus his hat and the abno’s themes REALLY makes me think we are dealing with some Bao-Yu stuff here.

Speaking of the Abno’s themes, now i can actually go over them! All we have for Walking Pearl right now is the MD event (as well as general observation), but there’s a few things that are relevant.

Just based off design, the abnormality seems to be mostly about the precious (the pearl) and the filth (the muck) intermixing. which makes sense with the EGO being named “Effervescent Corrosion” and our holders being Hong Lu and Rodya.

There’s some symbolism around greed/wealth (the offspring filled muck desiring the pearl and fighting for which one will earn it? the muck tarnishing the pearl? ) and I think we should read into that because it’s Hong Lu and Rodya who have this one and they’re both very tied to their financial status. Those two sharing an ego makes me insane for a bunch of reasons but that’s probably for another analysis piece! But duality is REALLY important for those guys and that’s a theme they’re emphasizing here with both the pearl and muck within the clam.

There’s also some elements of shelter/protection/potentially entrapment with the clam’s shell which are HUGE for Hong Lu, especially with his egos so I think those may come up.

But mostly it’s about the mixing of the precious (likely “wealth” here) and the unsavory, which works very well with what we know of the Jia family. The design likely referencing Bao-yu and thematically dealing with the Jia family makes me think each of those individual readings are more likely because they’re deeply tied together!

And now onto the MD event! I did not write this in order so I may repeat stuff here but. I realized I had to cover the design first so here we are!

First thing that stuck out of me is this portion when you choose to sample some of the clam’s slime.

Sibling/family infighting is very Jia family. It reminds me a lot of this line base Hong Lu says.

You could take this a step further because the clam is something that would typically offer shelter from the rest of the world, and even though it protects, its offspring continue to kill and eat each other.

It seems fine, the offspring have this lovely shell for protection, and they have the precious pearl held within, but even as they are sheltered and wealthy. They are still getting killed and eaten by one another! Reminds me of someone I know:)

It reminds me of some bits in the later half of Red Chamber, where family members more obviously start acting behind each other’s backs or turning on each other, some even killing other family members.

Another part of the MD event that I got something out of was the beginning portion.

using specifically jade as the color for the seawater is a Hong Lu thing. I may be reaching with this bc it’s more than likely just flavor text BUT when taking this color with the fact that there’s nothing in the water it makes me think of an important scene in Red Chamber where Bao-Yu is described as an empty shell, so I wanted to mention it. We know Hong Lu has TONS of water motifs, especially when relating to his family (see his base ego)

The main reason I brought up this section of the MD event is because of the question brought up by the last portion.

If you take one thing from Dream Of The Red Chamber into your perception of Hong Lu as a character, it should be the themes of ambiguity, duality, and being between binaries. Because he sure as hell does that a lot!!! (and i’m not just talking about his gender) He is both genuinely curious and sheltered with an urge to learn as much as he can, but he also plays dumb frequently, backpedals and asks a lot of stupid questions on purpose to maintain others’ perceptions of him. He is CONSTANTLY walking the line between truth and illusion and it can be hard to tell which is which and precisely how much is fake or real, which is why I find him such an interesting character to think about.

Tangent about Hong Lu's characterization aside, it's really easy to read this line as about his family's perceptions of him.

Hong Lu (or rather, Bao-yu) can be read as being the source of the contamination in that he is the heir of the Jia family who is just an absolute fucking failure of everything you’d want in an heir for that time period.

The clam containing the filth can be read as Hong Lu’s lies (whether conscious lies or otherwise) to himself and others about the true “filth” of his family. Really good example of this is with another bit of window dialogue, but these lies and half truths come up quite a bit if you know where to look. (what happened to cohort of kin looking to stab each other in the back at every turn???)

We already have Hong Lu’s assorted water motifs (his feet make ripples on the water in his base id, land of illusion has so much water theming and shows the Jia mansion is surrounded by water) so I think this is a reasonable analysis to make :)

There’s some other sections to the MD event, but there’s nothing of note that triggered the Hong Lu sleeper agent in my brain & also this has gone on long enough that I wanna talk about predicting some stuff for the ego!

I am manifesting Gluttony/Gloom/Wrath for this ego!!

Gluttony and gloom are in the MD event’s skill check already and I think tie in nicely with the themes. Gluttony works with the offspring in the muck killing and eating each other and themes of greed with the pearl (plus the ego is primarily green and that’s a pretty good clue) and then gloom comes up a LOT with Hong Lu’s family (Liu Hong Lu, the only one that remarks on his jade eye, is also the only Hong Lu with gloom. land of illusion requires 5 gloom resources and also relates a lot to red chamber/his family) Gloom’s also generally a stand-in for water which exists here.

Wrath in Hong Lu generally manifests in him going “yeah, maybe my family was a little fucked up actually” internally, instead of manifesting as taking direct action about the fucked up things like it works for most other sinners, and acknowledging that his family was at least partially filth and killing and eating eachother (metaphorically. maybe literally) works for that

i am not an expert on sin analysis but i wanted to take a prediction bc it’s fun :)

I have a couple of predictions for corrosion and i’ll be real they are the main reason i wrote this thing because i LOVE when bad things happen to Hong Lu!!

Since this ego seems to be referencing Bao-yu so much i can pull stuff from Red Chamber too which makes it more fun :)

First one I came up with is Hong Lu taking the place of the pearl within the clam and getting locked in there! A bunch of his egos have to do with being controlled/trapped so i think it works and it also can work as a parallel for Bao-yu’s treatment by his family. Bao-yu’s name means precious jade, and he’s often treated more like his namesake than a person, heavily controlled and never allowed to leave the Jia mansion (or, in this case, the clam.) I just think it’d be fun!

My other concept has to do with more Red Chamber stuff, notably what happens when Bao-yu loses his jade. I’m not quite there yet in the text, but from what i’ve heard he becomes incredibly unstable and essentially loses his mind. This sets the Jia family’s downfall into even faster motion and from that point things get REALLY fucked up. Since the pearl here parallels Bao-yu’s jade, I think having a reference to that part of the book would be really fucking crazy for all 5 people who have read 1800+ pages of red chanber to get to chapter 94 where he loses that thing. Also i just want to see Hong Lu lose his mind i KNOW it would be terrifying and chilling. but they may be saving that for his distortion (manifesting)

In my skimming Red Chamber table of contents to find when Bao-yu loses his jade i just found a chapter where Bao-yu’s father admires a pearl but we will just ignore that for now bc this has taken long enough to type already and that is several chapters off. but there may be more analysis when this thing actually comes out!

Thank you for reading this far!! I hope you enjoyed me looking far too deep into an unreleased ego we know next to nothing about for fun! this took WAY longer than expected to type out but i’m glad I did because I loveee telling people about Hong Lu!

There is a very real chance very little of my analysis and prediction is reflected in canon BUT please remember that truth becomes fiction when the fiction’s true and even if this doesn’t turn out to be correct now u know a little more about Hong Lu and the themes he plays with :)

[reidsnose]

doodles

overview: reader doodles on her hands a lot and spencer has to give into the temptation of coloring it in

genre: flufffffff

a/n: sorry ive havent posted a fic in like a week, ive been in quite a slump but i had this idea well after midnight but i just had to write it so lmk what u guys think of this one :)

masterlist

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doodling on your hands: a once nervous habit that had seeped into your everyday life and now is just a regular habit. nearly everyday you would come to work with clean hands and get home with a mini art gallery on your non dominant one.

Spencer admired this from the moment he noticed it. at first he thought you had a tattoo but when you came back the next day with it completely gone, he was a tad confused, only to catch you doodling on that very same hand a couple hours later on the jet. he thought maybe it was an occasional thing, a habit you'd quit once you got better situated into the team, but after nearly a year you still left work almost everyday with some cutesy sketches drawn on your hand.

Spencer found himself looking forward to your doodles, imagining in his head what you might draw each day, and thinking of all the colors you would add if you had the time. being the great profiler that he is, he noticed a pattern: you subconsciously correlated your doodles with your mood.

after especially hard cases or just bad days you always drew roses.

when you were very happy you drew all sorts of fruits.

anxiousness bore little swampy creatures and lily pads.

tired days filled your hands with random, intricate designs that you didn't even have to try hard to make.

and content was anything else.

he was so impressed and absolutely adored your little coping mechanism. watching you concentrate on making those teeny pieces of art simply for your own pleasure was definitely a sight to see. the way your eyebrows furrowed and tongue poked out a bit was absolutely positively adorable. and soon he had noticed that he was looking forward less to the doodles and more to watching you draw them. and after that he began looking forward to just you.

you were sat on the jet with your back to the corner of the last seat on the plane, creating a pattern of roses on the back of your hand. Spencer plopped down in the seat next to you, growing tired of watching from so far away.

"that bad, huh?" he asked, noticing the type of flower you were gracing your hand with.

"hm?" you looked up, confused.

"you only doodle roses on bad days." he explained, pointing to your hand.

"what? no i don't!" you defended, " i just think roses are neat."

to be fair, you were having a bad day but he could've profiled that without the doodle. he cant be right, can he? there was no way you had a mood system for your doodles! unless there was.

"repetitive strokes are therapeutic, so roses being rough days make sense. the spiral in the middle followed by however many layered petals you want is a perfectly repetitive while still interesting enough to doodle."

"if i didn't know any better i'd say you've been spying on me, Dr. Reid," you teased, enjoying the slight rouge that appeared on his cheeks.

"what! no! i'm- i'm a profiler i notice patterns! i just- spying sounds creepy." he stammered.

"ok. how about admiring." you jabbed, turning a little red yourself.

"fine. but you know coloring helps too." he flipped back to the old topic of conversation.

"unfortunately i only have the standard blue, black and red ink."

"roses are red." he chuckled.

"interesting point," you bent down and reached into your bag, pulling out a red pen and handing it to him, "knock yourself out."

"what?" he looked at you slightly bewildered.

"coloring is therapeutic, you said it yourself. and you and i both know that you need something to relax you after a case like that. we all do." you explained, trying to be as nonchalant as you could knowing his skin would touch yours.

he grabbed the pen and clicked it open, coloring smoothly and slowly inside the lines you had already made in black, careful not to go over them and smudge the ink. you and him both tried your best to ignore the warmth shooting through your bodies from every place your hands touched. his fingertips lightly grazing your knuckles as he worked.you worked your way up your arm, giving you both space to work and by the time you landed, you had a half sleeve garden of surprisingly well colored (and somehow shaded) red roses.

you went home that night and bought a pack of colorful (washable) pens, hoping this little rose garden with him wasn't a one time thing. and even if it was, you would want to add your own pop of color to your doodles.

thankfully it wasn't.

you and Spencer found yourselves drawing and coloring on your hand a lot. he would catch you doing it and pop in over your shoulder just to add a touch of color where he thought it fit. and you began to feel sad washing off what the two of you had created that day, feeling nostalgic for time that has hardly passed.

and sometimes on the jet you would get tired of your own skin, so you would draw little doodles on his hand, often times leaving a little heart at the base of his thumb. these little hearts he avoided washing off for as long as he possibly could because they felt like a part of you was always with him. he started doing the same thing to your hand, a sort of signature the two of you shared.

most days, the doodles on your hands were pretty much fully colored in.

but now Spencer began to worry. what if you get ink poisoning because of his coloring? sure, the risk was statistically low, improbable even; but never zero. so one night after work he went out and bought a little sketchbook and on the front he scrawled,

"y/n's super duper special sketchbook"

upon receiving it, after giving him a hug he never wanted to let go of, you took a sharpie and started editing the title he had given it. so it now read:

"y/n and Spencer's super duper special sketchbook"

the two of you used up a whole page that day, front and back filled with all types of fruits. Spencer smiled to himself, knowing this had made you very happy. you took a second to take a step back and admire him doing the very thing he admired you for. and you understood why; he just looked so precious and you suddenly realized you craved the feeling of his hand touching yours. so you leaned over and drew a little black heart at the base of his thumb. he looked up at you, smiling widely before returning a red heart to the base of your thumb.

and you guys tore through that book, using a page a day and filling it cover to cover in no time. your own personal handmade coloring book. it turned out to be both of your most prized possessions, a pang of sadness filling your chests as you finished the last page.

you felt bad taking it home with you that night, wondering if maybe Spencer wanted to keep it. maybe you should keep it at work so you can both have it. thats the fair thing to do. you looked down, smiling sadly at the little red heart on your hand.

he did want to keep it. but he had a better idea in mind. he looked down, smiling excitedly at the little black heart on his hand.

the next day when you arrived to work all your worries were solved. on your desk laid a new sketch book entitled:

"y/n and Spencer's super duper special sketchbook: volume ii"

you laughed as you read a small lilac post it note that said, "i want to keep this one please" signed with a little red heart in the corner.

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ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @coffeereid-deactivated20210303 @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @s1utformgg @violetspoetic

[blxkwxrl-blog]

i never thought of making smuts lmao but i kinda wanna, so i hope you'll like it.

yn - your name

yfn1 - your friend(1)'s name

yfn2 - your friend(2)'s name

ycn - your crush's name

ybn - your boyfriend's name

ycgn - your crush's girlfriend's name

~

summer is almost over, yet youre still not done with all this school work.

you sighed as you scroll past the photos your classmates posted from their vacation. its been long since you met your boyfriend too,

so you called him up, to plan a meet. he didnt pickup.

you saw your phone beeping from texts from your friend.

yfn1: hey yn, wanna go out tomorrow? a new club opened nearby.

you: sure! will it be just the two of us?

yfn1: no no. it will be me, you, yfn2 and ycn.

you felt your heart beating a bit faster.

you: ycgn wont come?

yfn1: no shes busy.

you: okay then.

yfn1:👍

but you couldnt stop your heart racing, just by the thought of his presence near you. the guilt of having a crush on someone else, whilst being in a relationship was eating you up. but luckily yoir boyfriend was pretty understanding, so he understood your problem and let you go to the club.

you knew it was wrong,

~

The next day;

you got in his car, as he took the shotgun. you couldn't help but stare at his veiny arm, and his hazel eyes. "so yn, are you done with school work?"

you were so distracted by him, that you ignored the question your friend asked.

"yn are you okay?"

you startled, and nodded as a response.

you all reached the club after an hour. the music was loud, your felt your whole body vibrating, as the music blasted at its full volume.

"hey yn, do you want a drink?" he asked, you nodded, and said "just order a beer for me, i dont want to get drunk."

he nodded, and ordered two beers for him and you. your guilt was haunting you, as your boyfriend's face came to your mind. 'i shouldnt, why do i like him? i shouldnt...why..why..no.'

you felt your stomachs forming knots. a sudden nauseous feeling took over your body, just from imagining your boyfriend's face. 'i shouldnt, and i wont.'

"yn are you okay?" ycn asked, he looked concerned. "hm" you said, as you gulped down the beer. the sweet taste of the beer filled your mouth, as you talked to ycn about yourself and other things you were curious about.

"ycn look, he looks like he got laid or something" you laughed as you saw a random guy passing by, who looked extremely proud and happy, judging from his facial expressions.

"how did you know he was drunk?" ycn asked smirking at you. "experience." you replied, taking a sip of your beer. "well what kind of experience?" ycn raised his eyebrows, as he smirked at you. "ummm blowjob probably. ybn and i didnt go that far yet"

you looked away as he smirked at you more,

"show me the kind of experience you have.", judging from his words and tone, you thought he was joking. so you laughed and played along. "sure, unzip and i'll show you my godly skills."

"oh yea? then get down the chair." you were a bit shook, but you didnt show that. "sure mister. open up first."

"hey yn and ycn!" you heard your other two friends calling you. you two talked to them, and ordered food.

you and ycn sat beside eachother. "feed me" ycn said. you laughed and took your spoon. he stopped you and said "no no, with your hand"

you were a bit shy, but anyways you fed him with your hands, but there was something strange. you felt him sucking your fingers slightly. you pulled your hand out, and blushed.

"my turn!" he fed you, but to your reflex, you bit his finger. "that hurts moron", he said hitting you playfully. you hit him back. he accidentally touched your thigh, you blushed a bit,

"that was by mistake. im sorry" he said

"its okay, dont worry about it" you smiled at him.

"hey guys do you know where the washroom is?", you asked.

"i do.", ycn replied. "shall i escort you milady?" he said.

you laughed and nodded.

"hey" ycn said,

"yeah?" you replied from the washroom.

"do you want me to come in?" he joked, you played and said.

to your surprise, he did actually come in.

"what are you doing ycn?" you asked. he pinned you against the wall, you could feel his alcholic breath, hitching against your neck, as he stared deep into your eyes. you felt him leaning in closer, 'this is wrong'. 'i shouldnt do it'. 'i cant hurt ybn, but it feels weirdly right'.

for a second you gave in yourself, after battling in your mind. "haha gotch ya!". ycn laughed, as he smiled in victory.

"god youre such an idiot." you said. "noo youuu." ycn snickered back at you, as he laughed at your flustered face.

you were glad he didnt do it, but deep down you wanted him to.

"what took you two so long?" your friends asked. you laughed and said "oh we were having a quickie."

ycn nodded and smirked at you.

"hey yn" ycn called you, "mhm?" you said as you feasted on the noodles on your plate. "how are your legs so smooth? what do you use?"

you almost spat out your food, you replied "eh i dont use anything, except my razor."

ycn nodded in response.

"hey dont waste the food" you said, as you saw few pieces of meet on the plate. "do you want it ycn?" you asked.

"yes" ycn replied, "but only if you feed it to me.......with your mouth."

you were kinda flustered. there was a sudden rush of excitement, to feel his lips, but the guilt held you back.

"no no" you said,

"then", he took a piece of meat in his mouth, and put it in your mouth. you blushed hard, as you felt his lips brushing against yours.

"do you wanna take pics?" he asked. you nodded.

he wrapped his hand around his shoulder, and pulled you in. you felt warm, you could hear his heart beating rhythmatically.

it was around 8pm now,

"hey, my mom will kill me if i dont go soon. wanna go together?" you asked.

he nodded and booked a cab for you two.

"hey, you know.." he said, and leaned in closer, and kissed your cheek lightly. "youre attractive, the most attractive person ive ever met."

he leaned in, and slipped in his tongue in your mouth. you savoured every inch of his mouth, as he slid his hand under your shirt, and squeezed your breast. "this feels right, but..."

"ma'am is this your stop?" the cab driver's words broke the heat in the air. you nodded, and opened the door for yourself.

"i'll miss you yn" he said, kissing your lips for ome last time, "i'll miss you too", you whispered, as you hugged him as hard as you could for one last time, before bidding him a final farewell.

you took a heavy breath, as you walked towards your house, the guilt of cheating and being in love with someone else, made you feel sick.

but at the same time,

it all felt so right.

~

The next morning;

you were having the worst migrane ever, you sighed as you snuck in some aspirins in your bedroom.

the memories from last night, made you feel light, as you gulped down the bitter aspirin.

you: hey! did you reach home safely?

ycn: yeah. you?

you: yeah. sorry for not asking sooner, i passed out.

ycn: its cool.

you: so you remember last night?

ycn: what about it?

you: what you told me?

ycn: ??

you: no nevermind, my bad, i mixed you with someone else.

ycn: hm, take care.

you: yeah, you too.

you felt your heart breaking,

you felt nauseous,

you were numb.

you fell in love,

you lived your dream.

but whats the price?

a bittersweet after-taste of the alcohol.

no memories from the night,

you two confessed.

-------------

A/N (author's note):

Hey guys! hope that you will like it. comment if you want a part 2 or a continuation,

or another imagine. i can do custom imagines too,

hope that you'll like it,

have a good day<3

[luderailing]

Alright so,, ,,,a looong loonglong while ago I mentioned something silly about posting my writing here. I DO write I just keep chickening out of posting it here or on AO3 but I thought I’d say fuckit and throw some ass-biscuit writing crumbs to the birds (YOU!) from something Ive worked on for fun.

No way in diddly darn heck am I posting the whole thing I’ve just been adding on to it to procrastinate editing it. It’s very bad.

Anyway these are waay out of context but for some background: It’s a high school AU and the MC is a character I’ve blessed with the name of Rell. (At first I DID NOTT mean for this to be a Hetalia fanfic,,I made Rell specifically to write a story then halfway through chapter one I just…slid Denmark into there and now it’s about them, oopsies.)

Anyways, enjoy your bread.

[ Scene 1 ]

Gilbert, Roderich and I congregatie on the beige tiled floor with the Bassoon and Bass Clarinet players, neither of which I have gotten names from. We form a wonky circle with a pool of paper assignments souped in the middle to exchange homework answers.

“My algebra worksheet! Where is it?!” Gilbert shouts, pushing and shuffling through papers, flinging them everywhere. Roderich lifts a stack and tosses a sheet at him.

“It’s wrong, by the way.” Roderich retorts snootily.

“I copied off of you!”

“I know.”

I laugh. Roderich always manages to keep his unimpressed ‘the world is too poor and boring for me’ face no matter what crazy shit Gilbert pulls off. His physique, posture, expression, all of it is so specific and strict in a way that he looks like he’s straight out of a picture book about random events in 1890’s London, meant to be read to kids. He might as well be pure porcelain. Gilbert waves a pencil at his face, spitting Gilbert-like insults. Roderich only dismisses him and focuses on a paper assignment. One that may or may not be Gilberts’.

A noise from behind me jerks my attention. A wavy, accented, raspy noise. A voice.

“Hey.. Rell? You’re Rell? Am I right?”

I turn my head. It’s the Bassoon player.

“Oh! Yeah. That’s me.” I say, my voice choppy with anxiety. “Do..you need help with something?”

I try to hide the hopeful after sound to my speech. I’ve been unsuccessfully trying to work up the courage to talk to him for about a week now. His face is tall and curved, like a sharp blade. No defined anything—just smooth edges. His eyelids droop and give him a welcoming expression, decorated with an obsidian septum piercing.

“Yeh, thought so. Feliks was telling me about you.” His curious gaze shifts to the pile of papers. “You coming with us after school? To the Junior High, yeah?”

I nod, sliding finished homework into my folders. His speech is like sliding a wooden spoon over a washboard. It’s beautiful to listen to. He would be a great voice actor.

The Bass Clarinet player beside him mutters in defeat. He then hands the stack of stapled papers to Bassoon kid, saddened.

“God, I don’t get any of this.” Bass Clarinet kid sulks, complaining to the both of us.

“It’s a’rrite. I’ll help you.” He stares at the paper for a moment, then turns to me. “Oh. No… Rell, are you good at biology?”

“My highest grade.” I reply smoothly, trying to make it sound like my highest grade isn’t a 70. Bassoon kid hands me the papers, and I start flipping through them. Geez, I’m procrastinating on this same assignment. Not because I can’t do it, but because it’s really annoying.

“I, ah, uh… never got your name?” I try, scribbling down vocabulary definitions.

“Oh! Sorry. Vlad. Vladimir, really. But no one calls me that. Too long for people, I guess.” Bassoon kid says, then gesturing cartoonishly to the other student beside him. “That Aleks.”

Oh, shit. Deja vu washes over me. Vlad. Did Feliks say that? Was I supposed to remember?

“Hm? What about me.” Bass Clarinet kid looks up from his open laptop, clueless.

Aleks fits him, I would think. His face is rounder and more chiseled than Vlad’s, with a few faint freckles. His lashes are heavy, giving both his eyes a bold outline. His gaze is shifty and expressive, he scrunches his nose a lot, making the same face but somehow showing a different emotion every time.

[ Scene 1 end. ]

Ooohkay, wowza! I think for now at least I’ll leave it at that. I think I should have mentioned in the beginning that they’re in band? That’s the class they’re in in this scene,,haha. But it was turned into a study hall kind of thing for that day. Hence the “Bassoon” and “Bass Clarinet” players. This scene is from literally the middle of the fanfic. I wrote a shit tonn more. Like a looot more.

I actually took what I wrote in actuality and edited it a lot, I think it’s better this way though.

[lilypixels]

I didn't count but I'll ask any of the questions that didn't get asked!

thank you for this ask cause i needed a distraction rn :')

describe your story in three words or less gay summons demon

how did you choose the name of your story? it was too obvious and i didnt want to spend forever thinking lol

how do you choose your characters’ names? sims random name generator tbh (how I name most of my sims/characters though for some of the fantasy ones, i use a specific generator)

how long have you been working on your story for? since august last year it seems lol wait have i averaged one post per month??

whats the biggest risk you’ve taken with your story? did it pay off? um im gonna go with doing the summoning scene and making it look well like the summoning scene i imagined. it took some work but i was pretty pleased with the result :3

what about your story are you proud of? huh uh...idk i guess how i write my characters?? the banter and chaotic energy

what about your story are you looking to improve on? honestly the whole editing process and look of my posts. I'm also still trying to figure out how exactly is the best way to set posts up as im more of a teller than a show-er(?), maybe i can even learn poses some time so i can have easier time

is your story fully planned or are you still working things out? is there a definitive end? lollll me? fully plan something? i have almost never done such a thing; i have plot points highlighted, scenes jotted down, and the ending i want in mind (shout out to milanote for helping me) but most everything that happens is just "randomly" written in word doc when i get inspo to write

why have you decided to tell this story? are there any messages or meanings within it? i thought the idea was amusing and had to share in some way; the message is dont summon a demon unless youre prepared to unlock family secrets and run for your life lol any messages are up to the reader to decide, im just writing gay fantasy here for the heck of it ajhdjk

do you actually play the game or do you just use it as a storytelling medium? i do play, its not terribly often, but i do,,

from basic planning to a finished post, how long does that take you? oh uhhhh idk, i think ive done it in like 2? 3? hours before??? i have most stuff already set up and scenes in mind so its usually just about finding right pose to use for a scene and going from there

what about the process do you hate? time and effort lol i love it but my god its annoying sometimes to get it all set and edited

choose a song that reminds you of your story hm lets go with Carry You by Ruelle ft Fleurie

choose your favourite shot from your story so far ngl, i did pretty good with lining up this shot if i say so myself

choose your least favourite shot so far yeah this one gave me pain

choose your least favourite character so far the background folks at the party

what inspirations have you drawn on for your story? makai ouji-

have other sim stories inspired you? well,, your stories first of all as that inspired me to start then @stinkrascal @ladykendalsims are other big ones since they are also fantasy/supernatural story tellers

what genres would you describe your story as? something like shounen but make everyone gay ? wait isnt that like josei...?

if you could reproduce your story in another medium (movie, novel, comic, etc.) what would you choose and why? anime yeah

what would your story’s rating be? (G, PG, M etc.) we'll say pg-13

if you were leaving simblr and had to choose another creator to continue the story for you, who would you ask? theres many but it would be wrong to ask someone else to do such a thing-

recommend another creator’s story! oh man um all the ones i follow??? @rollingsim, those mentioned above, @galaxsims, @lunchsims, @everettfalls, @warmsol...am i missing anyone...? TT *edit: JUST REALIZED I MISSED @cyansimblr pls go read their budding story as well <3