#ive been out and about all day if my brain wasnt shutting down at a rapid pace id say more

[best-fnaf-song-competition]

JT JUST UPLOADED A NEW FNAF MOVIE SONG 30 MINUTES AGO AS I TYPE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPSQpfY3xiA

Shoutout to you for being SUPER on top of this! Unfortunately I am 12 days late aldgdkDKFHSKLG

[Link to the song]

Holy shit. Oh my god. Oh My God.

I'm. I'm obsessed with this. It's a PERFECT mix between slower and faster parts and, as always!, JT never misses!!!

That one bridge where you think another fast section is starting but it goes slow instead is SO. ITS SO. FUCK. Once again another case of not being able to pick a favorite line because all of the lyrics are so cool, though I would like to shoutout "Hope it doesn't leave you burnt / Battered, and broken, and bruised / But you were broke as it were / And beggars don't get to choose" cause GODDAMN!!!!!

HGHGHFHFG I AM SHAKING THIS SONG LIKE A DOG TOY THIS IS SO COOL THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS IM OBSESSED

[haemosexuality]

the day my grandpa died i couldn't stop thinking about my cousin. he's 10. and he's just, hes so so tiny. hes so sweet in that way only kids are. he still has a little kids voice and hes in 5th grade. hes just a child.

i was 10 when my sister died. those two facts don't mix in my mind. because hes so tiny. surely i wasnt that young. i didnt feel that young when it happened. i felt so grown and mature and like i was taking it so well and being so strong for my mom and i cant accept in my mind that i was that small too

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

what wasnt being said in the poly poolverine storyline??? youve got me so hooked on this one

Enjoy a smut

"So, Angel baby," Wade demanded when you settled on the couch, "make with the details. What'd they say?"

You take a drink and a deep breath and Logan trades looks with Wade behind your head as they take seats on either side of you. "Well. My brain is still there, so that's good news."

"But," Logan prompted, feeling his stomach sink unpleasantly.

"But," you sigh, "they're going to try some new meds and if that doesn't work surgery IF I'm even a candidate for it. But IF they do that the recovery time is a beast and so is the therapy and-"

"We'll figure it out," Wade said.

You shake your head, "I don't expect you to-"

"Shut up," Logan said without any real heat, dropping an arm around your shoulders.

"And," you sigh, "there's still the risk that it could leave me worse off than I am now."

"We'll figure it all out," Wade said, kissing the side of your head.

"I still understand if-"

"Shut up," they tell you in unison.

Wade grabbed your chin and licked into your mouth, cutting off anything else you could say as he kissed you. His usual gentleness replaced with something like desperation. Days of pent up anxieties that had been gnawing at him bubbling up. And on your other side, Logan isn't about to be left out. Taking advantage of the exposed, tender skin on your neck to make his own feelings about it known. Scraping the flesh with his teeth. Making you whimper

"Aw hell no," Althea muttered, "Not this shit again."

You try to pull away from Wade to stammer an apology but Wade keeps hold of your hair and nips at your lip possessively, grinning when you close your eyes and shiver. "Poor neglected angel baby," he cooed, "Look at her, Peanut-"

The Apartment door slammed with Althea's exit and Logan's only response was to carefully shred your shirt. Leaving you in a bralette and your jeans on the couch. Exposing left over bits of adhesive and the bruises on your arms from blood draws and IVs. And he growls possessively. Burrying his face in your breasts and nuzzling briefly before he knelt in front of you and pushed your knees apart. Kissing the bruises on your arms.

"Good girl," Wade said, pulling off his shirt, "Just relax. Think you can take us today, huh?"

"Want to," you whine, letting your head loll back. "Missed my boys."

"You can do it, Princess," Logan growled, unbuttoning your jeans and trailing soft kisses down your stomach.

"He's so soft for you, baby," Wade purred. "Got us both so owned we're stupid. Not goin' anywhere, 'kay?"

"I just don't want you to have to take care of me," you protest, going tense.

Logan grumbled and pulled your jeans and panties down, leaving you exposed you him, and sank his teeth into your thigh. Sharply enough that you cried out, and he licked tenderly at the bite to soothe it. "Ours," he grunted.

"God that's fuckin' hot-"

"Wade," you whine. It's hard to focus. It's hard to think. It's hard to do anything except WANT when they're touching you like this. And when Logan smirks up at you, teasing your folds with just the pad of his index finger, almost lazily- you can only whimper.

"Angel baby," Wade crooned, "what's the matter, huh? You wanna play too?" He shimmied out of his pants and let his cock spring free, "Come to papa. Let's give you something to do, huh?"

And you do, licking at his tip to tease him. Satisfied when you feel his hands in your hair to stroke it. "That's it, Sweetie. Feels better, hu- Fuuuck. Yes. You know what I- Shit."

"Good girl," Logan growled. Giving you a little more now that you're starting to relax some. Losing yourself like you need to- to not think so much. To not worry so much. And your answering muffled mewl is like music to his ears. "That's it, kid. Gonna put two inside you, kay?" Better Music to his ears s that Wade is helpless in your capable hands. All he can do is sing your praises and try not to fuck your face.

Logan could sympathize- You had some super fucking human blowjob skills and he was willing to bet if Wade so much as twitched he was gonna lose it. But- there were rules. And when you were with them, they'd both agreed "Ladies First" was the first rule. It wasn't going to be fair if you hurt yourself and had to tap out before you got to come. They learned that the hard way.

He kept working you and kept at it, slow and steady. Enjoying the steady cresendo of your release. And when you did come, moaning incoherently around Wade's cock, his breathless little scream made Logan grin as he watched his other lover spatter come down your chest- careful not to get it on your face or in your hair.

"Christ," he panted, "What is this Prom night?"

Logan smirked and kissed you before he kissed Wade, "What's the matter, bub, she get the best of ya?"

"It's the fucking tongue thing. Every time- succubus." He pouted and leaned down to kiss you, wiping come off you with his discarded shirt, "Did you have a gay boyfriend or something? Fuck."

You snort, "If you learn to suck dick, suddenly boys don't care as much if you don't really want to fuck."

"Only because they don't know how to fuck," Logan growled, rubbing your hips.

"Such a DILF thing to say," Wade said, leaning over to kiss Logan, "as soon as I can feel my legs again-"

"As soon as you can feel your fucking legs, you pussy," he said, smirking, "you're sucking my dick while she sits on my face."

"So bossy," Wade pouted, "Guess I gotta get my kisses in now huh? Since Logi-bear decided he wants to be Daddy today."

[alaydabug2]

I'm in the car and I'm bored en

SO HERES A LIST OF MY MEDICAL ISSUES IVE HAD THROUGHOUT LIFE 😃

Vaugly related to my fanfic

Tetrology of Fallot (tof): congenital (born with it) heart defect that is basically 4 defects in 1 (I do not have the energy to look up or type all those scientific words rn so sorry)

I've had 3 open heart surgeries to fix it o e at 8 days 10 months and 5 years

Died 6 times on the second one 😃

Ngl life isn't too different with it

If you don't count the yearly doctor visits and can't play contact sports

I mean there's more to it that that obviously but it's mainly small things like getting out of breath quicker and I bruise easy because of having to take baby asprin

BUT the doctors ORIGINALLY said I was never gonna be able to walk or talk or do anything for myself

God vetoed that decision 😌

NOW I NEVER SHUT UP 😁

Got a nifty battle scar down my chest as a souvenir ☺️

And I used to be called smurf baby cause I turned blue alot

I make jokes about it now (hush I'm allowed to )

Ngl pretty sure I'm short cause failure to thrive as a baby cause of that 😭

Don't think there's any scientific backing on that tho for tof patients

Imperferated anus + colostomy bag: basically means I was born without a butthole

Not even joking on that i wasnt

But had to have three gastrointestinal surgeries from that

Don't know the ages or many details but I'm pretty sure I was two for the last one

And I had to have a colostomy bag

Thankfully don't remember it

Buy my waste went into a bag that had to be changed out

Ik it got infected so the scar is bugger than it should be

Seizures: if you've read my fanfic that's explained in detail for how it feels

But that was from aged 5-10

We never found the specific reasons for it

But we do hypothesize it has something tk do with possible scar tissue on my brain

Either from a heart attack/stroke/lack of oxygen from my second heart surgery is what we think it could be from

During a seizure my heart would start beating weird (not good description ik but idk how to describe it really) and my vision would start to tunnel out my tongue would tingle and then I'd black out

During a seizure I couldn't hear anything or see anything but my head would completely start to tingle

From my parents I was told during them I would stiffen up and lock my joints and almost seem to hyperventilate

It was control moderately well by medicine but I thankfully do not have them anymore

Hard hearing: im not like deaf or anything nor do I use hearing aids but my hearing isn't what it should be for a normal teenager lol

This is because during one of my heart surgeries they gave me a drug used on horses and a little too much if it at that (ketamine?)

Legally blind: yeah come to find out last year found out my eye sight is actual crap

Without my glasses I am legally blind

I've got 20/200 vision 😭

So I've got these crazy thick glasses now

Tourretts: neurological disorder where I make these random noises and movents

Got diagnosed back in sixth grade

My tics ate ill make various sounding noises (all kinda of variations of a hiccup for visualization) and my head will jerk back

It was awful before we found out what it was

Got picked on for it quite a bit and a certain teacher of mine essentially told me "just stop bro lol" and I'd get sent out of class for it even after we had doctor notes for it

Just get up out of that wheel chair then then buddy ☺️

They'd get set off my certain things

Music being one of them so I would carry around these earbuds when there was music around so it didn't get set off

I'm on medicine now for it and it's a LOT better

And a recent development (in the past 6 months) I've been able to listen to music again!

The tourretts aren't going away tho

If over been without medicine for more than 2 days it's BAD

Ovarian cyst (possible pcos?) : this has happened over this summer so you already got some rants on that lol

Buy I've got an 8cm cyst on my left ovary

Hurts like a beach 😃

In fact this Friday I was holed up in my room hyped up on narcotics cause of it

Fun stuff 🙂

Surgery is supposed to be on October 5th so we'll see how that goes

Yeah so medical history of mine 😃

That's fine

We'll see what comes next to the collection I can add

Also here's some pics of a couple of my scars (that I can show several are in places I'm not keen of people seeing 😅)

That's my colostomy scar

And near the top you can see a scar from a chest tube from my third heart surgery

And here's a really good picture of my heart surgery scar that I have (goes down to under the ribcage)

On my neck you can see a breathing tube scar

At least I think that's what it is

Also the corner of my lip I have a scar from some sort of tube from surgery (can't see it well on camera

Tbh idk what half these tiny scars are from

I just know they're remnants of surgery

Any way I do know kw I have a couple of other chest tube scars

But they are not in places to be shown

Same with a few dimples near my tail bone from gastrointestinal surgery

But those are there too

[pseudowho]

hello once again, it's 🕊️ anon (aka anon with shitty rich friend) again

im so sorry for dumping all of this lore on you u this way, u dont have to reply to it

but there was so much more controversy when they got together. so basically it wasnt just me liking the guy. the guy (lets call him T)'s childhood best friend (lets call him M) was basically in love with the girl (lets call her S). M liked S for a whole year (S and T didnt even know each other that well) and when M confessed, S rejected and it was a pretty messy rejection (I dont know the details). a few months after that T and S started talking secretively and only a few people knew about this. so them getting together broke the lifelong friendship between T and M.

Now i am pretty good friends with M, but i hadnt ever told him that i liked T. recently after everything went down, i met up with him and told him that i used to like T. and this is how the convo went:

me: so i used to like T

him: i know

me: fym you know??

him: i could tell

me: since when?

him: 10th grade

me: right. does he know?

him: yes, we talked about it back then

me: so what did he say?

him: that youre not his type

me: ah okay fair

i basically put on my most nonchalant attitude to hide the fact that i was tweaking inside. now the fact that he knew got me thinking two things:

1. he knew i liked him during all the time i 'subtly' tried to get close to him and he shut me out in the driest way possible. im gonna curl up in a hole and wither into nonexistence.

2. he knew he had the opportunity to get over S before he fell hard simply by giving me a chance. but he chose to ruin his lifelong friendship then even consider being with me??

sorry im rambling but im 18 and ive never been liked or pursued by anyone and im the only one in my friendgroup with less than 0 experience which always makes me wonder if theres something wrong with me. there are moments where i see the good in me, but the negative thoughts almost always seem to outweigh the positive ones and the whole situation only seemed to fuel them and im once again so sorry for yapping so much.

the way this isnt even all because this whole situation caused me to almost lose my bestest friend too but thats a story for another day (maybe)

The idea that you're "unlikeable" comes to you, because in this instance, you were rejected by 100% of the people you had feelings for. Even though that was simply one person, to your brain, it feels like you would be undesirable to the whole world, because that one person- 100%- of the ones you wanted, weren't into you.

18 years old is also quite genuinely no age. I'd be concerned if you had been 'pursued' by loads of potential suitors. Most 18 year olds are, through no fault of their own and in no way an insult, so worried about themselves and where they fit in the world and how they come across to people, that they struggle to relax enough to really enjoy their romantic relationships without all the extraneous pressures anyway.

Tone down of the self loathing and work on the self reflection instead. Take a deep breath and a step back, and look at your perceived flaws objectively; what could you do to improve them? How can you work on making the best parts of you dominant? Being happier with and more confident in your own character is so much more important than being in a relationship.

It is FUCKING ROUGH and mortifying to have to reframe your memories of trying to get close to this guy, with the new information that he always knew and was rejecting you the whole time, adding context you never had. This will probably be one of those memories that makes you cringe at 25 years old, 35 years old, 55 years old...you get the point. You did nothing wrong; it's just one of those things. I'm sorry.

I fully, fully appreciate the yearning for love. It will come, really.

It is important, and perhaps difficult to accept thoughts, that it likely wasn't Her OR You. It does, truthfully, sound like he did not consider you an option at this point, for whatever reason; it certainly sounds so based on what your mutual friend says. So the anger of "he chose xxx over ME?!" is likely uncalled for, even though it's bloody hard being rejected.

I'm sorry your shitty friend went for your other shitty friend instead. They've got a lot of growing and learning to do as well.

And stop hating yourself. You're not detestable, like seem to think you are.

☝️ you, getting ready to go after these guys, I think, but you shouldn't, just BREATHE

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[quodekash]

HELP I JUST LOOKED UP GUMPA'S ACTOR AND HE WAS BEAM IN MLC???

MY DAD IS BEAM???

IM LOSING MY MIND OVER IT

anyway on another note the gang's about to be caught by cops! ✨

oh. never mind sean drove past them. in no world will that have good results.

NO

YOK JUST GOT SHOT

WHY IS EVERYONE GETTING SHOT

AAAAAAAAAAA

i swear if they freaking kill yok im going to find gmmtv and destroy them

stop trying to be freaking heroic, okay, YOU ARE IMPORTANT

DAD HAS COME TO SAVE THE DAY

hes so stressed though

im so scared for yok rn

pls let him be okay

WHY IS THE THUMBNAIL FOR THE NEXT PART DAN'S FACE LOOKING INSANELY GUILTY??? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED???

episode 8 3/4 of the eclipse, anyone?

i swear that part of the series is just the infirmary interlude of the series

anyway im not watching the eclipse im watching not me

focus, egg. focus.

HELL YEAH, THANK FREAKING GOODNESS

THERE HE IS, OKAY NOW TELL ME: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

force like the guy? force jiratchapong? cos if its just him then they're all good, they'll hug it out and be on their merry way.

if it's not him, then they're screwed

NO

WHAT THE HELL

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

OH NO AND YOK IS CRYING

NOW IM CRYING

IM SO CONFUSED???

AAAAAAAAA

I WANT TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT

WHAT

NO

(and in amongst all this chaos, my brain is still thinking "kinky" because he said "finally you get to arrest me for real")

THIS IS EMOTIONALLY DISTRESSING

dfghj

ghrbdfgh

VHDBFHX

GRDNFHHJXGBJFHDB

PAIN

OH FLASHBACK, FINALLY, A FREAKING EXPLANATION

....

who the hell is this guy?

oh. so we just dont find out who the hell that guy was? is this information i was supposed to know already? i have no working memory, especially not when i probably previously encountered this guy in the early hours of the morning when my brain was shutting down, so i have no clue whats going on rn

im so confused that i cant cry anymore, but this is me internally

this wasnt supposed to happen to my boys

and yet they saved this plot for the side couple??? the side couple is supposed to be my main source of dopamine, but its getting a little difficult when they're arRESTING EACH OTHER

AND HES CRYING TOO

IDK WHAT'S GOING ON OR WHY HE DID WHATEVER IT IS THAT HE DID (or who the hell that guy was) BUT I STILL LOVE HIM AND HIS PRETTY EYELASHES AND I AM IN PAIN

TO DEFEAT

T H E H U N S

but who are you

...no

not even slightly

NOOOO MY DAD IS GETTING ARRESTED

what i dont get is why the only one who was actually properly handcuffed was the one in the wheelchair. why were the others all zip-tied. why wasnt yok also zip-tied. i have questions.

THERE'S AN ADULT VERSION OF YOUR TEACHER SAYING THEY'LL CALL YOUR PARENTS IF YOU KEEP MISBEHAVING???

i dont think its a mistake that the random old guy talks about his parents and then the very next frame is gumpa looking at him disappointedly.

he is dad.

its just a fact

oh !

hello there!

HELL YEAH (what a great screenshot that is)

he looks as confused as i feel

"you told me not to look for you if i wanted no regrets. i should have believed you then." NOOOOO

WHY WOULD YOU MURDER MY SOUL LIKE THAT

I SWEAR IM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW

ill avenge your beautiful hand and your beautiful foot. ill tear off the legs of every dragon i fight. with my face.

mm mm mm, it's the wings and the tails you really want. if it cant fly, it can't get away. a downed dragon is a dead dragon.

(yawn) alright, im off to bed. you should be too. tomorrow, we get to the big boys, slowly but surely making our way to the monstrous nightmare. but who'll have the honour of killing it?

it's gonna be me. it's my destiny, see?

(le gasp) your mom let you get a tattoo?

it's not a tattoo, its a birthmark!

okay, ive been stuck with you since birth, and that's never been there.

yes it has, you've just never seen me from the left side before!

every moment is the right moment to quote how to train your dragon

anyway that's the end of the episode. uh... that hurt.

[meet-at-tycho]

dude ive been dissociating so hard specifically about monster hunter?? like i just laid down on my bed and i was holding my cat and. the organic wind from my fan IT. i couldnt imagine myself as anything other than vik in astera just snoozing somewhere and the wind is hitting their face like. ITS SCARY sometimes i can feel myself there thats how bad the autism is its . MY HOME THATS MY HOUSE!!!!!! im. im going insane just a little like IS PLAYING MONSTER HUNTER EVEN ENOUGH? would it EVEN be enough.. I WANT TO GO THERE!!!!! but i cant. im gonna think about it a whole lot against my will tho you better believe my brain is gonna be like wow. you just ate. this is like monster hunter!!! SHUT UPPP..... IM SAD the autism beast is like teasing me

never remind me how much monster hunter means to me cuz i WILL cry about it

i think its extra special cuz like. WE KNOWW ALREADY im agoraphobic the only times i go out is when im WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS, or im going straight into a car and on my way to a different building. it makes me really sad cuz like. my sibling is mean about it, they pick on me for never going out and never getting sun but. YEAH ID REALLY LOVE TO. id love that more than anything, im just... scared

but when i play, im not!!!! im viktor, master rank hunter of the 5th fleet, i go out on expedition for DAYS just enjoying the beauty of life, the beauty of the new world.. i do whatever i want and i go wherever i want and im not AFRAID, because no one can hurt me out there. no one WOULD hurt me. monster hunter feels so. POSITIVE LIKE ive said it before and ill say it again, MHW its just you being awesome and a bunch of hot men praise you and are proud of you like OKAYYYY

AND never get me started on how i feel about the MONSTERS, no im. the autism is so severe . mhw is on par with FNAF in terms of how deeply engrained it is in me. like fnaf changed my life shaped how i grew up and who i am as a person, MH WAS A LITTLE LATE TO THE PARTY, BUT.... i dont have 700+ hours in fnaf do i 😼😼 ive played that game for 72 hours straight when i got back into it in 2020, i played that game til i RUBBED THE WASD KEYS OFF MY SIBLINGS KEYBOARD. i played til i got carpal tunnel and even after i put on a wrist brace to TRY and make it feel better I STILL PLAYED!!!!!!!! i literally wasnt taking care of myself NOT DRINKING NOT EATING LIKE. ONLY A LITTLE IN ALL THAT TIME I WAS OBSESSED...... can you blame me?

ive said it before, monster hunter is an autism special that like. HAS BEEN COOKING ALL MY LIFE, and it only was finally released on me in 2020 cuz like. i used to grow up watching my older brother play it!!!!! even if i was like 7 i still remembered names of monsters and they stuck with me FOREVER to the point where like. when i was 11 i named characters after some of them on my shitty dA art alright it was so. LIKE THIS WAS A LONG TIME COMING ive always been so drawn to it grGHGRGR

[maliciousspirit]

-turntechGodhead began pestering tentacleTherapist-

TG: have you heard from john anytime recently

TT: No, I can’t say I have. Why?

TG: bro hasnt responded to anything lately

TG: all the trolls either

TT: Jade has gone AWOL as well. I believe all of this could be considered noteworthy. Of course, only if you deign to consider our friends as incentive to actually listen to me.

TG: i honestly do not believe your freaky psychic shit

TG: shits redundant

TG: jade already gives out prophetic dreams like candy

TG: dont need any more obscure puzzle pieces to try n fit into this insane game

TT: Precisely. Jade telling us something from the future is commonplace. My visions are far more important.

TG: sure why not

TG: lets say your freaky psychic crap is right

TG: what am i supposed to do about that

TG: already conferred with the crocodile bros on lohac

TG: they werent any help

TG: they just squawked at me

TG i didnt know crocodiles could squawk

TT: Dave. Cease your inane rambling for thirty seconds while I attempt to drill my point into your brain, if you even have one.

TG: heard

TG: drill away

TT: If I am correct, John and Jade are dead. We are the only remnants of life left in this game. We’re alone.

TG: and what am i supposed to do about that

TG: cant go serenading their ghosts from their window

TG: wherefore art thou romeo

TG: and all that jazz

TT: Get your head out of your ass, Strider. You are the Knight of Time.

TG: uh huh and hows that helped us so far

TT: Shut up. We can handle this. It must be meticulously planned, and could end up in both of our sacrifices as well, but we can bring them back.

TT: You just need to warn John and Jade about it before they disappeared. When was the last time you spoke to John?

TG: when i prototyped calsprite

TG: actually can i just kill my past self for making that idiot decision

TG: i dont care if it causes a paradox bro

TG: i was an idiot

TT: Sure, we can arrange that. But that actually works out quite nicely if you think about it.

TT: You can prototype yourself into the kernelsprite instead of Cal. They are quite attracted to doomed or dead things, correct? You would be doomed yourself once you go back and change history.

TG: rose you ingenious bastard

TG: remind me to never question you again

TT: Noted. Does your time travel have any sort of limit?

TG: not that i know of

TT: We should try and progress through the game as much as we can before saving John. You can then buff your past self up and we can propel their game session forward.

TG: dope

TG: weve got this

-tentacleTherapist began pestering turntechGodhead-

TT: Dave.

TT: You cannot ignore me forever. You have not attempted to reach out to me in a week. It is not like you to be this withdrawn.

TT: If you are dead I am going to be very disappointed in you.

TG: nah im alive

TG: allegedly

TG: i could be typing this as a corpse though

TG: or i could be a crocodile pretending to be dave

TT: I’m sure. Are you trapped in whatever unnecessary time travel roller coaster you have would be helpful again?

TG: shut up

TG: ive got time travel down pat

TG: shits rudimentary, dear watson

TT: Elementary. Elementary, my dear Watson, not rudimentary.

TG: whatever

TG: ive been busy

TT: With what?

TG: trying to find my bro

TG: feels like planets empty though

TG: like were seeing the empty textures when you glitch through the floors in zelda

TT: It does resemble that, yes. Why are you trying to find your brother? I would think you would have been happy without his authoritative abuse.

TG: bro wasnt abusive

TG: stop tryna lobotomize me

TT: Apologies. My preconceived notions of him seem to have infiltrated my perceptions of him.

TT: However, I do have an actual reason for messaging you. The consorts on my planet are becoming increasingly more frenzied.

TT: I believe their status as NPC entities has caused them to begin to deteriorate, as our timeline is doomed. Considering their populace on both your planet and mine, a large percentage are dying every day.

TG: and

TG: this genre of panic has really run its course

TG: cool were doomed

TG: anything new

TT: I’m going to ignore your omission of empathy.

TG: sorry

TG: just tired of being freaked out

TT: Of course. Everyone knows a Strider must be reluctant for any sort of emotion. Did your brother teach you that, too?

TG: shut up

TG: you dont know what youre talking about

TT: It could practically become the Strider slogan. “New and improved- now emotionless.”

TT: It is quite reassuring that you are indifferent to our imminent deaths.

TG: your imminent death

TG: i just gotta be fused with a crow for the rest of my life

TG: become a feathery asshole and peck your past selfs eyes out

TT: Are you done?

TG: yeah sorry

TG: game’s got my stress taut

TG: pullin more than a truck outta mud

TT: What is that supposed to mean?

TG: no clue

TG: just that the syndicated crap the game has put us through is getting real old

TG: what do you think is behind the scenes

TG: im starting to think its those chess piece dudes

TG: never trusted them

TT: You’re going to regret blaming them when I vindicate their case.

TT: The carapacians are innocent. Most of them are just peasants under the Derse and Prospit royalty.

TG: my bad

TG: obviously the mastermind is a bald con artist

TG: got lockpicks down his throat and shit

TT: Have you been watching John’s movies?

TG: …

TG: no

TG: im gonna go kill some more cyclops dudes see ya

TT: Don’t you run off, I’m not done!

-turntechGodhead ceased pestering tentacleTherapist!-

[gayspock]

andthats to say what. that cycle. theres nothing inside of methati can do or try to do that offers any satisfactionor peace. seek externally. theres noone there. youre alone because rightlyso nobody can connect with the empty huskand has no reason to wantto deal with you. cycle back. tryto cope with it. theres nothing to cope with any more. theresjust the reality of just penduluming back and forth.everything everyonesays just results in aj uststop it. just change this. the manyfacts about you thatyou keep triyng to change but never stop.does anyone elsehate themselves but hate themselvesso much fucking more eveyr day because. embarrassing moment! i feel like everyonejust says to just fucking. stop .it. but i cant fuckingdo it no matter how hard i try butnobdy believes youre trying because yourejust never going to be thething people keep saying is right like icant do it. does anyone feel crazy. and itsjust "yourenot trying hard enough" and i feel sickbecause i jsutfeel so worthless and i feelselfish i cant do it anymore no imnot strong theres likethis selfish bit ofmethat just wants to giveup and wants to beg someone to fuckigncare anyway in a way that isnt just pitying fucking bullshit andits like i know i cant dotthat but what does it even matter any more to just sit and fucking think about it what difference will i tever make to this and the other hollow fucking existence there is. something somethinggggg sit there and just wishit wasnt alwaysjust likethis why cant ijust ev anything else why cant i jsut exist andnot be alone itsnot fucking fair how easy it is because eveyroneelse just seems tocare about something or have someonewho cares and even iftheyre fucking brains blowing out depressed. theres still somefucking interest or someone whofucking lvoes them enough to check their fucking pulse. OH EVERYONEEE hassomething to live for . i dontknow. ifeel like ihave tofiorce myself to be afucking eprson. does anyone feel fucking tapped or WHAT like . fucking therewith the fucking crisis team again. like so why didnt you kill yourself. why arent youdead. there has to be SOMETHING. there isnt anything. oh my god there isnt anything. they dont believe it or else you'd be dead right. oh my god there isnt anything . your answer is meant to be theres something! haha! youre justbeing negative and purposefully FUCKING DOIFFICULT UIF YOU DOTN FUCKING SAY SOMETHING! butnobodys ever going to believeyou nobodys ever goingto like yu if youre honest becase as a person as abeing what is there butjsut a fucking trainwreckplease fuckign god og mygodddd all there is in this world is love just be yourself just do whart youlike i fucking dont know anyhting idontknow what that means i cant . fucking find anything to be there for i jsut want to shut italldown i dontttt KNOWWW BROOOO ive been going nuts again fucking trying to do anything to curb sel harm bullshit its more trouble than its fucking worth dealignwith it but fuckign goed i need to calm the fuck down bro

ehrm

you know thevery day self involved spiral rant etc etc here it comes. i odntknow. billionand one fucking messages of reinforcement that just dont help because none ever apply, all ever make me feel worse; most are usually insanely patronising as a result or just rub it in how littlethere is to live for cuz if therewas just one fucking thing mabye it wouldnt be like this. whatever and a bit.

i jsut feel so fucking emtpy. i dont fucking care about any of it. i dont know. at least somepeople have something they careabout. im alone. i dont know what to do. i dont have any interests. theres nothing ilike doing. theres nothing imgood at. even if idid try to survive what do ifucking spend my time doing. itjust all feels like a miserable fucking slog . nothings worth it. i feel fucking sick withmyslef all the time. i keep trying to find things. i just fucking tire myself out and get miserabel no matter the approach. i dont fucking know.

i think about dating apps andabout meeting new people. its likeidontknow how to talk about it any more. i feel so embarrassed. like itsnot just loneliness because im alone. but ialso know realisticlaly theres nothing for me to try and talkto people about . just basic questins like how do you spend your time. i dontfucking know. i just spend it trying to make it all fucking go away and i hate it. the onlyway i can fucking cope half the time is just trying to not think about it and thats the only fucking thing there is and idont rememberwhere any of the days have gone and ive spent so manyyears at this point in fucking limbo and i fucking resentevery second of it.

and theresalways fucking something. likesome corny fucker and im sorry for being mean but i cant fucking. ugh. like just let go~ just make ugly art~ just do things imPEErFeCtLy~andfeel it~ ^_^ ,. like dude i dont fucking feel anything ijsut fucking space out i cant connect with anyofit its like onehand in front of the fucking oteher i try to go out i reallyfucking do i try to dothings i fucking feel myself justmiserable there and just wanting to go homewhere no one can see me again ebcause ihate it and thatslike the fucking shameful thing its alwyas the like

yeah. yeah nobodylikes you because theres nothing to you. youre a fucking blank and emptyfucking husk of a person. why cant you just grow up and develop into something. i dontfucking know. i fucking hate all of it. im fucking miserable. im just fucking miserable and i thinkthats all i can be . and itsnot nice . its not nice. itsalways jsut sthut up stop being fucking miserable be better . likeyoudont think i treid that . i jsut burn out. i feel so fucking phony adn fake and sick iwth myself and i tfeel like everyone else can tell. i dontknow. i fuckinng wish i hadany fucking modicrum of fucking passion or lvoe or whatveer the fuck inmy body but i think im just a negative fucking space and its jsut draining and i hate living and its like i wish i coudl bepropeely like toxic or there as soemthing genuinely fucking rancid and its jsut fucking seepsinto everything and i cant conenct with anyhting and i jsut

you know like itsreally embarrassing and dumb actually like how areyou so uncultured howhave you not read this seen this watched this done thais hadthis whatveerhtis i force it down my throat somethingsomething try to bea fucking human for once i feel like im crying all the fucking time lets pretend i gaffff for some approvalthat never comesbecause i cant feel itmyself no matterhow hard i trryyyyy but what but what god i dontknow i fucking

its likestupid shit likeart. god i fucking hated drawing i fucking hated writing i fucking hated singing when iw as younger i fucking hated school i fucking hate sports i fucking hate spending time withpeople i fucking hate being alone i fucking hate eveyrthing every time ifucking do anything i just want to smash it up because i hate it i wish i fucking didnt i jsut fucking hate every fucking singel second of being fucking alive what is theretolive for why wouldyou want that why wuld you fucking bother and the only fucking solution peopleowuld ever suggest is. dont hate it. just dont. but thatshwat i do. i cantmake it stop i cant make it stop ifeel like im fucking running on fumes and fuckingjust forcing it so hard and everyones like HAHAHAHAAHAH JSUR FORCE IT! FORCE IT FO RUS! IT'LL HAPPEN EVENTUALLY!! YOU HAVENT DONE IT WNOUGH! YOU GAVENT FUCKING TRIED HARDENOUGH!!! and itdoesnt matteryoure alone and crying and fucking hateit even more in the end because its too fuckignhard to keep oding it and i cant i fucking cant care i cant fucking car eany more you do nothing but fucking zone out youexist in your own littlefucking world and try not to exist and nobodu would ever want that you dont want that is anyone crazzzzyyyyy i dont know why im alive i dont know why im alive so much i feel like itsjust never worth it its never been worht it imjsut desperate and uckign begging it for to notjust be this FUCKKK BROOOO LOL

[zsgia]

ok i thought i was going to write a blurb (to escape from having to do work) but she ended up being a whole IMAGINE and now my brain is fried. i didnt proofread this so ignore the errors pls if there are any

its almost 3am and youre trying to complete a brand book for the company you work for within the next hour because 1. you were exhausted and 2. if you dont get it done, your boss was going to have your head (not really but you cant help catastrophizing sometimes). 

mat had an away game tonight which you couldnt attend or even watch live, not that he minded though. he understood the demands of being the only employee in a start up where you had to juggle different roles. you two havent been together for long but he's been there for you through most, if not all of it. from carrying you to bed whenever he finds you passed out at the dining table and letting you cry in his arms until you calm down after a shitty day at work then proceeding to shower your face with kisses to celebrating even the tiniest achievements. your boss liked the post you designed? he comes home with your favourite takeout and you spend the night watching movies together. he even scribbles little things in your notebook sometimes which you find so endearing. mat's always there for you, just like youre there for him too. it was difficult not to fall in love with him but you were afraid to rush into things so youve kept quiet about your true feelings, a little hesitant to say those three words first. 

the isles had won so mat had a little more energy to stay up on facetime with you. you wouldve been done with your task if not for the last sentence that had to be paraphrased so you came to the conclusion that taking a break and staring at your boyfriends face instead of the forsaken document would be of help. "baby, its late and you have work in a few hours. go to bed soon, yeah? please?" mat pouted and you swore it was the cutest thing ever. "says you. dont you have early practice?" you stuck your tongue out at him that got him chuckling. "i promise i'll sleep right after i figure this out. tell me how your day went." you continued as you sat up, pulling the laptop onto your lap.

even seeing him through the screen made you feel way better than you were. you missed him so much and you couldnt wait until hes back in your arms again (he feels the same way too). you listened as he went on about the game and that the goal he scored was for you which left you feeling a little bad for not tuning in to be honest but all that disappeared when he made a passing comment about what to write for the last bit of your work. "wait, say that again." you frantically typed down whatever mat had said before letting out a sigh of relief. "you literally just saved my life mathew just when i thought i couldnt love you more." it didnt even take a second for you to realize what you just said. your eyes went wide and you quickly slammed your laptop shut. you wouldve thrown it off the bed if it wasnt for your phone ringing: mat was calling. out of all the possible times you couldve told mat that you love him, your brain decided doing it over facetime when hes not physically in front of you was best. you contemplated on answering because what if he thinks youre moving too fast? putting those stupid thoughts aside you tapped on answer and held the phone up to your ear waiting for him to speak. you could literally feel your heart in your throat.

"i love you too, by the way. ive been meaning to tell you for a while now and i had it all planned out i was going to take you out to that place you like when i get back. god i-" he was rambling and you felt yourself falling deeper in love with him. you let out a small giggle, feeling all the anxiety leave your body. "im sorry for ending the call earlier. i wish i told you face to face though." you buried your face into the pillow and groaned in embarrassment. "well, you can tell me again when im back. throw in a a kiss too, maybe ten." rolling your eyes, you could picture the smirk on his face. "you bet i'll do just that, barzal." 

[ascaryghost]

This is a TMI question but I think it’s legit important - read something about how most people with eating disorders have a 💩 related story - usually like literally shitting their pants because their eating disorder messed up their stomach so much.

So many people try to glamorize or romanticize their disorder relating it to words and images like “delicate” “butterfly” “fairy” “fragile” “dainty” etc etc. But nothing is less glamorous than popping your pants - or almost popping your pants - or having public diarrhea or something.

Since you’ve had such a journey, going down to such a low weight, forced recovery, relapse, etc. I was wondering if you’d have anything you’re comfortable sharing on this subject to show people that it’s truly the least glamorous thing to get wrapped up in

Also anyone who sees this if you have a story pls drop it - let’s show these young people that are still trying to glamorize eating disorders why they gotta cut that shit OUT

okok so the worst thing that happened to me was at lw just days before i got hospitalized. I remember being rly scared cause i was like ok shit my body is actually shutting down wtf. Like i didnt go out much so usually there wasn't a big chance that something would happen in public but i was orthorexic at the time to i was at the *gym*, running on those god damn machines. And it started to feel like something was passing through my stomach, like air or water i have no idea it felt rly weird. I dont remember if i slowed down or continued anyways, i probably didnt tbh and suddenly literally my entire pants were wet and i was like ok what the FUCK just happened. Luckily i was alone in the gym cause it was a very small gym in a small town so i ran into the bathroom and got on the toilet just in time to literally pee shit out my ass. And i looked down and there was this liquid poop all over my panties and some on my leggings. I had to sit on the toiler for like a good 20 minutes first because i kept fucking pooping pee?? it was like throwing up out of my ass rly weird. Then I had to wrap my panties in papers and put them in the bin and cover them with more paper and pray to god nobody else would see them, wash my pants, put the wet pants on (luckily i had a pair of pants to have over the leggings too so i put them on over), and then act like everything was fine. Tbh i can't even say that i stopped excersising at that point and went home like i should've i probably just kept on tbh. and i also didnt tell anyone about this. Oh god and then there was in the hospital, when ur put in recovery so suddenly and after such a long time ur stomach is like HUH?? tf is this??? food??? for me??? so every day for weeks i had to have some weird liquid be shot up my ass by a nurse just to be able to shit and i got so constipated i looked pregnant. There is NOTHING glamorous abt eds. its shit (literally.) ive been at the lowest bmi most people can get to without dying and lemme tell u, it was not enough. its never enough. i wasnt fragile dainty uwu. more people didnt care about me. i was just the same self hating me, but with half my brain gone, no energy and unable to take a proper shit. not pog.

[peachiikawa]

Tradition | Route: Seijoh

a/n: here the first route my new series! hope you all enjoy it!

summary: getting taken before a game always seemed like something out of one of those high school sport movies where the opposing team kidnaps the mascot out of tradition. who knew kidnapping the manager was the new trend.

genre: choose your own adventure, fluff, manager au

warnings: mild violence, reader injury

word count: 1.0k

tradition masterlist

“y/n! Can you refill the waters?”

You dropped the ball in your hands back into the bin beside you and nodded your head

“Sure thing iwaizumi!”

He handed you the bottles one by one

“Do you need any help filling them up?”

You just shook your head with a smile

“Nope! You just focus on warming up ive got this!”

He smiled back at you but before he could say anything he was rudely interrupted

“Iwa! If you keep flirting with y/n theyre gonna lose brain cells!”

“What did you say shittykawa!”

You just laughed as maki and kindaichi held iwaizumi back and walked off to the nearest water fountain

It was just outside of the gym and down the hall a bit so you didnt feel any reason to feel nervous

But the moment you felt someone grab you from behind your anxiety skyrocketed

“Get them to shut up! We gotta move fast!”

You had heard about this happening to other managers in the area

Getting kidnapped right before a game

It was almost a sick joke at this point

You just brushed it off your shoulders though, what were the odds it would happen to you?

Apparently, they were very high

You kept trying to get out of their grip and finally opened your mouth wide enough to bite the hand of the person holding you

“Mattsun! Kunimi! Help!”

You called out the first names that came to you but were met with silence as you were dragged away

“Did you guys hear something?”

Kunimi looked towards the door of the gym and got a weird feeling in his chest

“Guys y/n’s been gone for a while. Maybe we should go check on them?”

So a couple of them went off to go see what was up with you

And when kunimi and yahaba saw the water bottles spilled all over the ground they knew something was wrong

“Oikawa! Somethings wrong!”

Kunimi and yahaba explained what they found and everyone immediately fell into a panic

“Coach! We’ll be right back!”

They all ran out of the gym in hopes of finding you

“Tie them up!”

Meanwhile, you were being thrown into a closet, a blindfold tied around your eyes as they bound your hands too

“Please… whatever you want ill give it to you”

You could hear snickering coming from all around you

“Oh we dont want anything from you...we just wanted to have a bit of fun and freak seijoh out a bit. Wouldnt hurt if they all missed their match too”

God what even was this situation

And knowing seijoh, they probably were all looking for you

So you gave it one last try and yelled as loud as you could

“Kindaichi! Kenta! Someone, please help me!”

“Shut up!”

You felt a sting on your face as they knocked you to the ground

But at that same moment, you heard the door open

“y/n!”

You felt tears come to your eyes as you recognized those voices

“Guys please…”

Now they were pissed

“Oh so you wanted to rough up our manager? Is that how you guys want to play?”

Iwaizumi and kentarou cracked their knuckles and took a step towards the men who captured you

But before they could do anything you heard someone else approaching you and gently take off your blindfold

“Come on y/n lets get out of here”

Oikawa helped you up to your feet and usually, his presence was a pleasant one

But at this moment...you felt a cold chill go down your back as you looked at his face

“Dont go too hard on them guys...you need your hands for the match later where we will also crush them”

His voice was void of emotion

“Dont worry we’re just going to scare them a bit”

The door closed behind you and the rest of the team took you back to the gym

Kunimi came up to you with a fist aid kit and gently started to treat the wound on your face while mattsun wrapped his jacket around you and patted your head

“You gonna be okay y/n?”

Maki handed you a water bottle and kneeled down in front of you to try and get a good look at your injury

You just nodded your head, still too shaken to say anything

Oikawa stood off to the side with his arms crossed

He was utterly pissed and couldnt even say anything at the moment that would be coherent

Iwaizumi and kenta came back shortly after with no visible injuries and just gave a thumbs up to everyone

Soon seijoh was up to play against the team that had taken you and you could feel the tension in the air

It almost suffocated you

“Lets go everyone. Im trusting you guys”

The mood with everyone became even more serious at oikawas words

And by the end of the match, it wasnt even a question as to who was going to win

Seijoh completely annihilated them

And as soon as they were done for the day they led you back to the bus and made sure to have someone on either side of you at all times

Oikawa kept his hand around yours the entire bus ride, squeezing your hand throughout the ride while kunimi napped on your other shoulder with a looser grip on your other

You let out a small breath and looked up at everyone with a smile

“Thank you guys”

They all stared at you with wide eyes, these were your first words since it all happened

Even kunimi had woken up

“Don’t worry about it y/n we’ll always come looking for you”

The smile on kindaichis face sent a calming feeling through you

“Yeah we wont let this happen ever again”

Kenta left you at a loss for words he usually never cared about anyone here

You could feel oikawas hand tighten around yours even more though

“Never again”

And from then on seijoh no matter what always made sure to have someone with you at all times

You dont even want to imagine what would happen if this happened again

taglist: @babyshoyo​

[actualbird]

Hi Zak! I really love your writing style and interpretation of the ToT characters. You show so much depth and understanding and reading your work is always a treat. My question is, how do you find the motivation to write so often and develop all your ideas? All I have is a backlog of Dramatic scenes in my ideas doc and I can't figure out how to add enough plot to even make them into oneshots.

hello, anon ヾ(＾∇＾)

thank you so much for your kind words!!! im glad my fics are enjoyable :D

as for your question......hm, i think i have a lot of things that motivate me to write a bunch at the speed i do, so heres all of the motivators i can think of

a big emotional one is that....i feel palpable physical anxiety when i havent Created A Thing in a While, HAHA. and my brain's definition of "a while" is anywhere from a week to one day KJBKJS. i feel happiest and most like myself when creating and having created. this emotional motivator is v important to me bc it helps me relieve negative emotions and experience positive ones.

my brain never shuts off!! ever!!! it's throwing new ideas at me 24/7 and leaving the ideas in my brain where nobody will ever get to see it......thats Agony For Me. i write so much because i wanna be like EVERYBODY, LOOK, LOOK AT THIS CONCEPT!! DONT LEAVE ME ALONE TO THINK ABOUT THIS, THINK ABOUT IT WITH ME!!!

people tell me that my writing makes them happy or makes them laugh or gives them some kind of benefit. this is hugely rewarding for me and pushes me to make more because i want to continue to make things that people can benefit from

i write my stuff because......nobody else will. like, the stuff i enjoy is somewhat niche. i wanna see smut but it's a comedy at the same time. or i wanna see the nxx team being stupid but also being a loving found family. i wanna see nxx polycule dealing with a voyeuristic pet bird. the stuff i want....NOBODY ELSE IS GONNA WRITE IT, theyre all way too specific, so i have to be the one to write it!!!

I Just Love Writing. ive been writing fiction for more than a decade now (exactly a decade, if ur going by my ao3 fics) and it's something i'll continue doing for the rest of my life. sorry to sound cheesy, but it's deadass my passion. it's what i chose to study and major in college, it's what i do at my current job, and it's what i do in my free time. i love writing, so i do as much of it as i can.

so theres a bunch of motivators that keep me trucking on like crazy!!!!

but theres a second question here, right? i think? or am i misreading? you also ask kinda how to develop ideas/plot, yeah? because huge mood at "backlog of Dramatic scenes" tbh thats how most of my fics start in my brain HAHA.

so heres how i personally develop ideas

the dramatic scene/s (or just whatever "seed" of a fic, be it a badass line or a stupid joke in dialog) in the head? i write that down immediately. no matter what is going on, i grab my phone and scribble that thing down on a notepad. i have woken up at 2am just to blindly wordbarf an idea into my diary discord, lemme get u an example actually, heres the message:

and this single message resulted in the fic "The NXX Investigation Team In Their Natural Habitat, Unhinged: A Documentary by DAVIS"

so like no matter how un-fleshed out the idea is, get it down!!! make the backlog in ur head a backlog somewhere outside of ur head so that it doesnt disappear bc a lot of the time, those ideas need to like.....simmer. i often need to put an idea down and let it rest for a while for me to understand the concept more and then start building around it. case in point: that message was sent on November 16. the first chapter of nxx docu fic was posted November 19......okay that wasnt a great example, it only simmered for 3 days BUT MY POINT STANDS

onto the plot!!!

i personally add plot by going through at LEAST TWO STAGES OF OUTLININING. this is gonna make me sound insane, but bear with me.

OUTLINE ONE: WORDBARF

this is the barebones shit. like tbh, all i put in this outline is as simple as premise, conflict, resolution. THATS IT. example of outline one of "how Puppy Pierce© conquered the world":

barest bones in the world but theyre still bones aka, theyre whats needed for a story. there is a premise, conflict, and resolution. fiction comes in all kinds of forms, but these three are the easiest and most noticeable building blocks. keeping these blocks in mind always helps me get from concept to story.

i move on now to

OUTLINE TWO: embellish the wordbarf

this is where i go insane because based on outline one, i expand as much as frigging possible. the outline one for puppierce is as short as u see above and my outline two based on it is 864 words long. this is where i get detailed and lay down scenes, sometimes i lay down the exact dialog as well. heres an excerpt of outline two from the same fic above:

BONUS: a list of things to Keep In Mind.

this is something i only do with fics that delve deep into emotions and themes but it's very very helpful for me because it allows me to have like...a guide to look towards whenever i feel blocked or stumped, it realigns my trajectory to where i want it to go. i do this in the beginning before outline one and two. heres an example from the fic "it's only ever a seed planted from outside in":

and once all that is done, tadaa!! everything is built!! and then i do the Actual Writing bit JBJKFGS

i hope this is helpful somehow? a lot of my writer friends have told me that both my motivators and my writing process is fucking insane but sdjkbkgjsd insane is what works for me. i hope you find what works for you :')

again, thank you for lovely ask!! if ever u have questions on like, writing process or story development, dont hesitate to hmu!!! my degree in creative writing has to be useful for something HAHA.

hope u have a nice day!!

[tiens-letters]

upon autumns day, where you and I met. upon autumns day where I remember all of what we were before youve passed. and upon autumns day would I have ever so slowly let go of that pain of the past

zhongli (angst)

@albeidoof its somewhere here hehehe

Time was a luxury. A treasure each and everything holds.

Yet time is a curse as well. It covets, devours and leaves. which humanity neglects to cherish until the heart ceases its steady rythmn, only then do they regret of the wasted minutes, hours and seconds.

Beneath the flow of the rushing waves of things that have come and gone. Only on this particular day would he sit beneath a certain tree. The rough bark brushing up against his back as leaves fell effortlessly to the ground, as if it were ready to let go of from the branches that gave birth to it, only to return once again to the waiting soil.

It was a sunny afternoon, clear of any clouds and only clear unblemished blue, a good time to enjoy a warm cup of tea yet there was no energy in his bones to even move from where he was.

He felt exhausted. Desultory even.

Gone were the halcyon days of the past, and now the present time of the vivid reality he had to face.

Morax, rex lapis, the geo archon. Names that weighted more than one could carry, memories that shackled his soul that lived for a thousand years on end, all but a stain that could never be washed away.

The breeze slowly danced in, playing with his hair softly, kissing his skin and welcoming him. It carried a hint of aromatic essence only he would know belongs to.

You.

He tried to desperately recount the days after youve left the face of the earth and yet he could not remember or did his mind not allow him to as if he did, it would bring him terrible and heavy consequences for an answer, one sane mind would never want to know.

Sighing, he sat back and recalled back the memories of you instead. When you were alive, warm and breathing in his arms. He remembers the way your eyes would shine brightly whenever he would be around, or the small sound of delight you would make when you have finished another one of the many interesting blends of tea youve done over the course of a week of mixing different flowers and tea leaves. Youve made up quite the fortune with this as your little hobby bloomed into a fully run business known across teyvat.

"Zhongli." he froze, youve never called him by his name ever since youve started getting close, it made him feal uneasy as he turned to look at you who stood by the doorway, a neutral look on your face.

"y-yes?" nervousness clawed at him as he racked his brain to what he couldve done for you to call his name like that, he couldnt think of any.

"I came back from the market and I heard youve made quite the generous payment. Why is that, I wonder?" he's done it again, that spending habit of his

"The price was reasonable for such a fine ceramic tea set, I dont seem to find why it shouldnt reflect its quality?" you sighed as you pointed towards the glass cupboard behind him

"You bought the same exact set a week ago, Zhongli. Thats why." having to realize his mistake after looking over the two identical set that on the shelf, he turned to apologize but only to see you missing from the doorway. Footsteps can be heard from the floorboards above him. You were upset.

After minutes of pacing in the living room, he finally mustered the courage to climb the stairs and enter your shared bedroom. A figure already under the sheets as the warm glow of the lamp illuminated your delicate features. The mattress sunk as he sat beside you, fingers brushing away the stray hair that fell on your face.

"Im still mad at you Zhongli." his hand flinched slightly at the way you called him

"I apologize. I seem to not have learned my lesson again. I would gladly return the set tomorrow."

"Its no use, they dont accept refunds." you replied without sparing a glance at him

"What can I do for you to forgive me then?"

"Just go to sleep, Zhongli." groaning you reached for the switch to shut the lamp off but a gentle grip stopped you, forcing you to look at his gloomy expression. Perhaps you went too far this time.

"Please stop calling me in that way. I dont like it." he whispers, drawing your palm to his lips, leaving small kisses upon it. He sure does know his way around your heart, no wonder why you could not stay mad at him.

"Just be mindful next time." you cursed yourself for being weak to his charms.

"I will." yet something was missing "Then can you call me as you did before?"

"Zhongli?" you could see the slight grimace in his face as you teased him

"Stop it." he kissed you without warning "Call me as you did before."

However, his lips didnt stop as they began to travel. From your cheeks to you forehead and then to your neck. Oh dear, he wasnt having any of your teasing.

"A-li." you giggled beneath him as he finally stopped and met your gaze

"Thats better."

He still remembers the faint smile that graced your lips whenever he would wake up next to you tangled in the same sheets. The softness of your skin on his calloused touch. Your lips melting his and your voice lulling his raging mind to peace.

Then everything changed when you drew blood that spilled from those lips he's kissed for a thousand times, painting a morbid image on the sheets. Anger and despair boiled inside of him once he learned of the secret youve kept. Zhongli was a calm and collected man all of the time except when he was with you.

Having to witness him at such a point felt as if his own spear was being driven right through his very chest. He held you in an arms width away, the panic and pain in his eyes increasing over the minute as he begged for you to explain why youve decided to lie about the flowers that bloomed in your lungs, the sickness youve inherited from your deceased mother, whose fate you soon would follow. You didnt want him to find out, not in this way.

He couldve done anything if he knew from the start but alas, you wanted to be cruel, thinking it was for the best. Until your symptoms persisted, a heavy reminder of the remaining distance of the string you have to walk on to reach the end. The heavy feeling in your chest started to worsen as cherry sweet liquid poured from your mouth.

Soon the once pristine sheets were stained in haunting crimson shades as you heaved and he watched in agony. If only he had the ability of what he once had back then, if only he could plant the seeds of the flowers from yours to his then he would, if only he hadnt met you one autumn evening

" please dont look at me like that. " you told him, cold hands caressing his cheeks, catching the streams of salty warm beads that fell freely from your darling's amber eyes.

"Im sorry. Im so sorry..." the last thing you wanted to see was this man to cry. The last thing you wanted to see was to see him relive the past tragic memories you promised to bring him out of

" my disease has nothing to do with you. In the end it was mine alone to handle. oh, you are far from that so please dont you ever blame yourself."

"How can I not? If I havent fallen so deep then you would experienced so much more in life, you couldve been happier if you met someone else. Yet you chose me and I couldnt give you anything, I--. " the words knotted up as he began to shake, hands holding yours as knuckles turned to white

You slapped him.

With all the strength youve gathered in that fading body of yours. The sound cutting the grieving sounds that spilled from him, soul and flesh alike.

"A-li, look at me. Do I look like someone whose unsatisfied with what youve given me? Did my smile ever fade when Im with you? Did your affections ever lack? Answer me." his watery gaze met yours, a torrent of emotions swimming in them

"No. Never." a soft smile was carved unto your lips

"My dear, youve given me all Ive ever wanted in this life and I regret nothing of it."

To him, you were the flower that bloomed at the highest peak of the mountain he's never reached and yet its petals voluntarily detached and fell down, making him the happiest as one thing he's admired was untouchable and now, lay softly in the palm of his hands. To cherish and to protect.

But of course, all things are evanescent.

The familiar feeling of soreness that wasnt supposed to be there rose, ebbed and flowed through his throat. He knew it all too well, it was after he woke from his week long slumber did he feel it along with what his ancient beating heart felt.

"You collapsed." the worried words of the qixing echoed in his head. He frantically got up but as soon as his feet touched the floor did his legs give out underneath him, what use was he in this sorry state. He was helped up and sat back on the edge of the bed.

He wanted to ask many things yet was unable to.

Ningguang spoke as if you were still breathing and was visiting her minutes ago with another one of your tea blends. "Dont worry and rest first, go to jueyun karst after. They will be waiting."

To where the adepti resides, who as well, favored you, that one soul among thousands of others. One to which they shared a few good memories with was allowed to slumber there in peace.

Zhongli found himself waking up to the sun setting in the horizon. Just like how youve gone and resurfaced back into his memories. It was time.

He stood up from where he sat, gloved hands brushing any dirt that clung to him as he made his way to where you slept.

The red bean that was planted by himself still remained, a token of his love for you. Picking one bead and placing it inside the hollow dice he brought along, completing another one of the similar handicraft he's made every visit.

The sun finally died and the moon began its reign. The small wisps of light gathered around before him, forming a blurry image.

It was then he felt at ease, he saw you smiling at him with all there is in the world. Your light seemed to dim a little, hinting the blessing the adepti gave was slowly diminishing. Soon your visits would cease and you were sure that by the end of the power spent, he wouldve let go of the torment that plagued him.

"A-li. Have you been well?" he knew what you meant

"Im letting go slowly my dear. Perhaps in time, I would learn breathe easily once again."

Longest yet lol. Hope yall liked it ehehe

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[badatjokezz]

Haikyuu!! Rare Pair Fic Recs

i’ve been so hype about some Hq rarepairs lately now imma list some of my fav fanfics, mostly OiSuga mwehehe.... 

(probably gonna add some more in the future)

Oisuga (Oikawa x Sugawara)

1. Stuck in the Middle With You by overlymetaromantic

It's not the kind of blossoming relationship either of them would expect, but maybe, just maybe, it could lead to something good.

1. In which Suga and Oikawa run into each other on a late night convenience store run.

2. In which Suga and Oikawa inadvertently switch bags and end up with the other’s uniform.

3. In which Suga gives Oikawa the lecture he doesn't want but probably needs, and Oikawa might accidentally be a little in love.

4. In which Oikawa won't shut up about Suga, and Iwaizumi plays matchmaker just to make him stop.

5. In which there is not a date, and Suga likes spicy things much more than sweet.

6. In which Karasuno and Aobajousai hold training camps in the same neck of the woods, and the trip back proves to be more revealing than it probably should.

7. In which there might just be a future to this after all.

(Dis is so fluffy i might die)

2. moving on (growing up) by _helios (neocitz)

‘I’ll do it,’ Suga says, walking into their prep school and dropping his bag on the floor next to Oikawa. He shoves the melon bun and drink forward into Oikawa’s hands, and stands there looking down at him because he knows that he needs to not chicken out.

‘You’ll do what?’ Oikawa looks up through his glasses, eyes wide and confused as the other students stream in around them.

‘The fake dating thing, I’ll do it.’

‘Fuck. Yes.’ Oikawa says with a fist pump.

(It’s been AGES since i read Fake/Pretend Relationship fic, this one is goood)

3. how strange, to be remembered by venusintwelfthFandoms

"He is not formed of the type of dust that makes up stars. Suga is not the type of person that stays in the mind of one like Oikawa Tooru, ten years later. He is formed of the type of dust you shake off, the type that settles into the ground."

Ten years after Suga last steps off a high-school court, Oikawa recollects a "Mr. Refreshing" in a post-game interview, and Suga is left scrambling.

(Cute one-shot, Oikawa still remember Mr. Refreshing from Karasuno)

4. all the small things by Authoress for lemedy

Sugawara Koushi.

Oikawa’s brain supplies the name of the person standing at the other end of the aisle before Oikawa can even register him, attuned to spitting out facts about other volleyball players on a second’s notice, even after all these years. Karasuno High vice-captain. 174 cm…no, more like 176 now. Skilled at raising morale and bringing an element of surprise to their strategy. Troublesome. Refreshing. Setter.

The enemy.

(Single Dad! Oikawa, cuuutee ugh)

5. Win Some by kingdra (aroceu) for Icie

Tooru does not have a problem, its name is certainly not Sugawara Koushi, and he is not going to the Karasuno practices just to watch him. Regardless of whatever Iwa-chan says.

(High school romane~)

6. Even as bright as you are? by BKAKCANON

That night when he goes to sleep, he includes "the safety of fairies" on his prayers, making a promise to whoever was listening him, that he'd protect all the fairies and keep their secret safe forever.

[Where Oikawa meets Suga when they are kids and Oikawa believes Suga is secretly a fairy and decides he has to protect his secret all costs.]

(This is basically matches my headcanon)

7. getting to know you by oisugasuga

Suga feels like he’s back on the court then, his heart thudding hard in his ears… so hard he almost misses what Oikawa says. Unfortunately, though, he doesn’t.

"My, my. What a surprise," Oikawa Tooru says. And then… "Hello, Mr. Refreshing."

(Haven’t finished yet but DAMN I LOVE OIKAWA AND SUGA IN HERE, single dad! oikawa, and Suga babysitting oikawa’s kid, def slow burn. Imma follow this fic till death)

8. Dear Reader by hyirule

No one seems to read the paper anymore. But Oikawa likes to for the sports section. One day he finds himself reading a section called "Dear Reader" and finds a submission he can relate to.

Basically messages sent through a page on a newspaper brings to unlikely souls together, who maybe have more in common than they first thought.

(Cannon compliant, simple and... refreshing(?))

9. rest by shicchaan

Tooru looks at the sleeping person beside him as he waits for the lights change into green. The growing fringe of his husband started to cover his eyes but he can still see the beautiful birthmark under the silver haired's left eye.

(Established relationship, fluff fluff!!!)

10. long is the road (that leads me home) by ichweissnichtauch

He thinks about himself, deleting contacts from his phone and throwing coffee cups away without even looking at the string of numbers scrawled in Sharpie ink underneath, and he’s tired of hiding, tired of carefully treading the lines he’d drawn for himself all those years ago.

Just this once, Tooru wants— he thinks he wants to be brave.

Oikawa Tooru is not a stranger to wanting.

(like... 20% Oisuga but i like the way this story follows the Cannon till he get to Argentina)

11. It's Always Been About You by mintycarrots

Every time Tooru had envisioned meeting his soulmate, it was a confession of love, filled with tears of happiness and a lot of making out. It would be a faceless petite girl that would support Tooru in whatever he chose to pursue and would understand when Tooru prioritized volleyball over all else.

It was never a boy on the rival team.

(Soulmate AU)

12. a play in three acts by venusintwelfth

"The first time Sugawara Koushi sees Oikawa Tooru play, he thinks that if he wasn’t so set on volleyball, he’d do well in theater."

the first seijoh x karasuno match through the eyes of suga.

(Kinda poetic i guess, well written af)

13. colors by dazeful

Sugawara Koushi's colorful life as an archer.

(this is like the perfect oisuga one shot ive ever read)

___

IwaSuga (Iwaizumi x Sugawara)

1. And so the moon cried by iwriteinpenFandoms:

The hillocks are the domain of unearthly creatures. Creatures of rot and fog, of music and dance. Like ghosts in the night they travel without leaving footprints, they disappear in a flurry of long dresses and pale hair. Those who are fated to see them risk curses far worse than death. You may hear them, a giggle in the wind. You may smell them, the smell of the fog rolling in through the trees. You should pray you never see them. Iwaizumi Hajime is a simple man. He works a simple farm job and enjoys simple things. After one morning where he woke next to a perfect circle of death and only the memory of brown eyes and cold hands, he finds himself inexplicably drawn to the forest. Will the tales of his childhood play out with him at the center or will he have to disregard all reason?

(Danish Folklore AU)

2. Cry Just A Little by DreadfulMind

Suga was whistling a tune to himself as he opened the door to the bathroom, so he didn't hear the muffled crying through the door. But he could hear it clearly once he was inside. He heard the sharp sob of someone trying to stop.

"Iwaizumi?" He asked, "are you sure you're alright?"

(Simple but c u t e)

3. Generations by Karasuno Volleygays (ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor), mozaikmage

Professional sports blogger Sugawara Koushi writes an article about a volleyball match that bears special meaning to him and his former kouhai: a showdown between Kitagawa Daiichi and Yukigaoka Middle School, ten years after the teams faced off for the first time. He doesn't plan on capturing the attention of the world of sports journalism, and he certainly doesn't expect himself to end up having a thing for one of the coaches involved, one Iwaizumi Hajime.

(Time-Skip, I loved it)

___

KuroTsuki (Kuroo x Tsukishima)

1. Invictus by Chiru

Kuroo T. » So let me get this straight (gay?) Kuroo T. » You want me to pretend to be your perfect and fabulous boyfriend, so that your little freckled friend will stop trying to set you up with cute little highschool girls? Tsukishima Kei » yes Kuroo T. » Aha. Tsukishima Kei » you'll do it? Kuroo T. » I don't know. I missed the part where I get something out of it. Tsukishima Kei » you get to annoy me. Unfortunately Kuroo T. » Tempting, Tsukki, very tempting indeed.

(Fake/Pretend Relationship, some fluff, some angst, i read this in the middle of the night and cried, fortunately happy ending)

2. hold onto hope if you got it by nekolyssi

"Now, in the beginning of their third year of high school, the obnoxious hollering and incessant spirit of his teammates became normalcy to Kei. And now, normalcy is this. Weekly psych meetings. Pharmacy waiting rooms. Prescriptions. Refusal of prescriptions. More prescriptions."

(Not finished yet but yep prolly gonna put this one to one of those best haikyuu fics ive ever read. I wasnt so interested at first but i really like the idea of mental ilness etc, this is g o o d!!)

3. [KuroTsuki Fest Week 2017] Traces by Heartythrills 

Kuroo’s disappeared for a little over a week now, and suddenly a 4 year old who looks like him appears before Tsukishima’s apartment.

(Age regression, fluff)

4. I swear by xArtemisx

Like the shadow that's by your side I'll be there

"What are you doing here, Tetsu? It's cold." Kei asked softly. Tetsurou smiled. Hearing his name came out of Kei's lips is always music to his ears.

"Nothing. I just came to think that whatever memory we make, may it be happy or sad memories, the bright moon and the starry night sky is always there to be the witness. Did you notice?" The alpha answered and Kei nodded. He also noticed it.

"Yes, I did noticed it."

(I love agony and sad ending....)

5. Honeybee by ClosetGoblin

Tsukishima has trouble sleeping one night during a Third Gym Camping Trip. So, he takes his acoustic guitar and passes the time with some music, and gets a visitor. Maybe he doesn't mind Kuroo's voice as he does the screeching that Lev and Hinata call singing.

(Simple but sweet)

6. Say You Like Me by the_madame21

It's been three months. And Tsukishima Kei is going to see Kuroo Tetsurou.

(light angst and.. s m u t. Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamic)

7. trying to get to you by mytsukkishine

Everything came crashing down on Kuroo when Kei had left him alone with nothing but the moon shining down on him.

Wherein, Kuroo was struggling to move on and decided that he wouldn't mind being with Kei again.

(sad beginning? yes. sad ending? y e s. you’re a masochist? come get your juice)

8. Please Hold by ThemooncatFandoms

Kei was expecting Kuroo to do one of two things; Send a text to the office saying that they will have to call back another time and continue what they started, or excuse himself from Kei to answer the call, which was most likely. He shouldn’t have been surprised when Kuroo does neither of those things.

(short but hot. what’s hotter than quiet sex?)

___

Ushijima x Oikawa

1. This Insignificant Pride and Prejudice by Mysecretfanmoments, Pouler (poulerslashes)

Oikawa Tooru graduated high school with the burning desire to succeed in his college career. He'd hoped that might include taking down his arch-nemesis along the way, but when he finds that his college team hosts an offensively familiar face, he can't help but think that the universe might be conspiring against him. After all, what could be worse than playing on the same team as Ushijima?

(It was funny for me reading oikawa/ushijima fic with that “you should’ve come to Shiratorizawa” joke at first but somehow i found this one... endearing :3, cute poor ushiwaka)

___

Atsumu x Nishinoya

1. All the things I love about Yuu by KilluCoulomb

Atsumu Miya is fixated in Nishinoya. The way the boy acts, talks, plays. He Carefully observes from afar, but he slowly warms up to the Libero. Friendship becomes more and more intimate. Atsumu realizes Nishinoya is not that simple guy he met three years ago. And he loves it.

(pro volleyball players AU)

2. i'll see you then by noyabeans (snowdrops)

Nishinoya Yuu and Miya Atsumu build a rivalry and something more.

“Oh, it's Karasuno’s libero,” he says, mildly surprised to see Nishinoya’s face staring back at him from the brochure, grinning wide with his arms folded over his chest.

Contains spoilers for the current manga arc, up to chapter 380.