#ive been looking and looking for the Lesson in everything that’s happened in the past three months

[supersonicgf99]

well moving everything i owned into storage required six hours four uber rides there four delayed bus x tram rides back and it rained 90% of the time including five minutes of ice pellets bc there was a hailstorm BUT!!!! i did it!!!!!

[kasagia]

Right Hand V

Pairing: Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!exBeneGesserit! reader Summary: The Bene Gesserit has something... very interesting to show you—something that only makes you question your situation more. During this time, Feyd is also put to a great test. But how much can your relationship endure before you both come to the conclusion that maybe you're not meant to be together? Warning: 18+; violence; blood; Feyd Rautha; death; fight; brutality; smut; Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ PART IV ~•♤♤♤•~ PART VI ~•♤♤♤•~

Dreams have a strange power. You can see your future and past in them. You can drift between dreamland and the real world and be semi-aware of your surroundings. You can create a new reality that is more tempting than your real life. Dreams can be either your sweet escape from reality or your dark oppressor.

For you, dreams were reminders of what had been, ghosts of the past, catching you in your most vulnerable state. But this time, you weren't dreaming about your past.

You were in Giedi Prime. You walked through familiar corridors, hiding from the Harkonnens' eyes. It was rare to meet anyone in these corridors. Most of them were dead ends with secret passages that were unknown to most of the inhabitants of Giedi Prime. That's why you were terribly surprised when suddenly someone pulled you by your cloak.

You freeze, startled, and turn slowly to face the small child. The kid looks like Harkonnen's child, but not quite. His skin is creamier than white, and white hair grows on his head in unruly curls. But what you recognised perfectly were the blue, bright irises that only one person could boast on Gieidi Prime.

"Mommy!" A boy around 5 years old runs up to you and hugs your legs as you look at him in shock and confusion. “Dad said he would take us on a trip! To Lankiveil! We will swim in a real lake! Can you imagine that?!” – he asks excitedly and holds out his hands to you. You automatically scoop him up into your arms and place him on your hip, trying to figure out what the hell is happening.

Someone's quick footsteps echo in the corridor. You look past the child and see one of the harpies approaching you. She breathed a sigh of relief and bowed to you when she saw the boy in your arms.

"You can't run away like that, my lord Na-Baron. The baron told us to look after you."

"I didn't run away. I quickly left to find my mom. Dad wanted to speak with her. Besides, it's not my fault that you're so slow." Both you and the woman next to you do everything in your power not to burst out laughing. You smile, burying your face in your "son's" hair. He was so damn similar to his father and you.

The boy jumps out of your arms and grabs your hand. He runs with you through familiar corridors and hidden passages, not caring if you can keep up with him.

This way, you are in the war room in just a few seconds. Feyd stands with his back to you, analysing something on the hologram of the planets in front of him. He doesn't even flinch when the secret passage closes behind you with a bang.

"Dad, I brought mom." Your boy announces proudly, leading you to Feyd. The man turns and runs his hand through your son's hair. The little one smiles, showing a series of night-black teeth... with small cavities. He looked so damn cute. Like a little version of his father...

"Good job, Feydor. At least you are able to find your mother in her shadows. Go, torment your uncle. I've heard that you promised Rabban a great fight after our lessons." Feyd says teasingly, wrapping his arm around your waist. You roll your eyes at his comment about shadows, but you can't help but watch his interactions with your son in fascination.

Feyd was rarely around children; on Giedi Prime, they were quite... not shown much. They were a temporary inconvenience rather than a source of pride, and the noblest and most important of the inhabitants rarely cared for their own descendants. The nannies and servants usually took care of them. That's why you observed with admiration how soft and tender he was towards the boy, who was a living mix of both of you.

"I did! I can't wait to use the voice on him. I love you, dad. I love you, mom." He hugs you and practically runs to the training room, looking forward to training with his uncle.

"Just don't humiliate your uncle too much! And remember to turn on your shield!" Feyd shouts after him, and you feel like crying at the worried and caring look on his face. You've never seen him like this. Well, not when the two of you were in no danger. "In moments like these, I feel sorry for Rabban. He has to face a deadly mix of both of us. Devious beast, just like us. It doesn't matter that Rabban is not using all his strength against him; he would have defeated him anyway with his tactical mind and the tricks he learned from you. I need to start training with him so that he doesn't become too arrogant and self-confident after his numerous victories over Rabban. He must always be alert and ready for his opponent."

Honestly, you're not listening carefully to what he's saying. You are shocked by this new reality in which you find yourself. It was too surreal for you. But you couldn't stop your heart from fluttering as he spoke about his son with such tenderness and pride. Your son.

"What's wrong? You look pale. Are you two alright? You had unusual cravings again, and now you regret what you ate?" The concern in his eyes confuses you even more. He places his hand tenderly on your stomach and watches you carefully, searching for any sign of discomfort as you wonder what the hell happened to make him... like this. It must have been your imagination. This couldn't be any vision of your future, because even in your wildest dreams, you had never imagined it to be so... beautiful. "Y/N? Talk to me, my baroness. Should I call a healer?"

"I'm fine." You reply with a smile, shaking your head and placing your hand on his—the one that was still tenderly caressing your small pregnancy belly.

"You sure?" Your lips hurt from smiling as you try your hardest not to cry in front of him with emotion. So you grab him by the neck and pull him in for a kiss.

He caresses your lips so gently and tangles his hand so carefully in your hair that you feel like you're about to cry from the way this rare, soft side of him makes you feel that he so bravely shows you.

"Yes... we... we are perfect." You whisper, resting your forehead against his, not at all referring to yourself and the child. You close your eyes, letting yourself breathe in his scent as he draws patterns with his finger on your stomach, keeping his arm possessively around you.

You wrap your arms around him tightly and bury your face in his neck, holding him as close as you can. He laughs softly and presses a kiss on your temple.

"There you are... I almost forgot how sweetly clingy you are while carrying my heir under your heart. We should've tried for a sister for our Kwisatz Haderach a long time ago." He murmurs against your skin and lazily plays with your hair, massaging your head. "Are you sure you are feeling good? You have been very quiet. Usually, you would throw all sorts of insults and banter at me. It's not too late for you to swallow your pride and admit that you want to give birth on Arrakis or anywhere other than on this polluted planet. Damn what those old hags think of you; it won't make you any less of a Harkonnen."

Your heart swells with every word he says. It takes a lot of strength on your part not to cry in his arms and to keep your voice from shaking as you try to form a coherent sentence.

"I... just promise me you will never let me go." You ask him, not daring to even look at him because you're afraid you'll cry the moment his eyes meet yours.

"You stuck with us, my baroness. Nothing can separate us." He promises it to you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head and tightening his hold on you. You felt safe. Warm. Loved.

"Good." You mumble, snuggling into him even more. You act as if this is really happening, like this is really supposed to be your life and future.

You have come to the conclusion that it is impossible and unrealistic for Feyd to change like this. The Harkonnens were not soft; they did not lead a tender family life and cared for their wives if they did take one. But in the end, it's your dream. So you sink into his arms, enjoying the sweet words he whispers in your ear and the way he strokes your hair.

Feyd had never been in such a hurry to get to his chambers. His heart was beating fast, and adrenaline was pumping through his veins as he thought about what had happened in those few hours. The baron is missing. He was kidnapped or killed by the Fremen. Feyd was to take his place until they found his uncle's body or the council officially declared him dead.

And Feyd had his suspicions about who could have contributed to the sudden disappearance of his beloved uncle. You couldn't have given him a better birthday present. In fact, you could, and he was practically running back to his chambers to pick it up.

He enters the chambers and immediately senses that it is too quiet there. He tries to dispel any suspicions and enters his bedroom, only to find the bed empty.

“Y/N?” He calls out, knocking on the table a few times to make his presence known. He peeks into the bathroom, slightly hoping that maybe you're waiting for him in the hot bath to tease him even more, but you weren't there either.

He frowns. He wonders if this isn't one of your games. Isn't that what you wanted—to play cat and mouse with him, to give him an exciting chase before he wins and can finally ravage you—but he quickly dismisses that (charming) idea. You were as desperate as he was. You wouldn't leave this room unless it was urgent. At least he hoped so.

He clenches his fists as he steps out into the main room of his chambers. The idea crosses his mind that maybe this time you actually ran away from him. He wouldn't be surprised. Maybe you finally snapped; maybe he scared you too much; maybe he went a step too far today by injecting you with truth serum and torturing your former lover/friend.

After all, you didn't say you loved him. You also didn't say that you despised him or that you wanted him to leave you. You could have escaped from him when the perfect opportunity presented itself…

"My lord, Na-Baron?" The frightened tone of one of the guards' voices brings Feyd out of his thoughts. He realises that he has gone out into the hall and is standing in the doorway, staring blankly at his two men. He clears his throat and turns his cold, calculating gaze on one of them.

"Have you seen my right hand?" They both shake their heads, not daring to look at him.

"No one left or entered these chambers except you, my na-baron." His madness grows as he unintentionally compares them to you. You always had the courage to face his anger and look at him, proudly bearing his burning gaze.

If you really run away from him... he will unleash hundreds of hounds, bring you back to him at all costs, and make sure you never leave his side again. He won't give a fuck if that's what you want. He gave you countless opportunities to leave him and end things between you two in a civilised way without brutality or bloodshed, but you didn't want it. The only thing stopping you two from being together were your stupid prejudices and fear. He planned to get rid of them completely once he got his hands on you again.

"Bring her to me." He growls at them, turning to go back to his chambers.

"But my lord..." Before the soldier can finish his sentence, Feyd reaches for his blade and cuts his throat with one skillful move. It eases the tension in his muscles a little, but the moment the man falls dead to the floor in front of him, his mood sours again. Because he remembers how, in moments like these, you often gave him a disapproving look and cleaned up the mess he made.

He growls at the other soldier, who is shaking with fear, to clean up and closes the door behind him with a loud bang. He had to find you. You got too deep under his skin for him to just forget about you. First, he had to determine whether you disappeared alone or whether someone had helped you. And God save him who dared to steal his baroness from under his nose.

He carefully examines his chambers, slowly exploring every corner. He frowns when he sees a familiar, polished dagger in his weapon collection. He picks it up and looks at it carefully. It was your blade. The one you had attached to your thigh. You had never left it—not since you got it from him for your birthday.

"Na-baron. You wanted to see me." You say, walking onto the balcony of his chambers. Feyd doesn't turn towards you. He stares at Giedi Prime spread out below him, the city completely shrouded in darkness. Only the few white stars that managed to penetrate the polluted atmosphere illuminated the planet with a pale glow. You quickly catch the hint and stand next to him, also looking at the buildings.

"I hate it here." He confesses to you without knowing why. "My home planet had seas, lakes, wild landscapes, and tundra that no one dared to tame. And here everything is so..."

"Controlled. Polluted. Defiled. Exploited. No room for anything... wild or natural." You finish for him. He nods, agreeing with your words.

It's been two years since you served him. And he had to admit that he didn't have such a good man on whom he could always count. You were extraordinary. Loyal, faithful, brave, honourable, and cunning. Feyd wanted to liberate you. Not many could live up to his expectations, but you seemed to know exactly what he wanted and needed after just one look. It aroused in him... strange feelings. Disturbing. But he didn't think about it when he was around you.

He preferred to admire your… difference. The hair that flowed slightly in the wind, the way your eyebrows knitted together in anger when someone questioned your position as his right-hand man, the way you walked, the way you could disappear into the shadows, the cunning and strength of your mind. You were an extraordinary woman. He started to appreciate you for the time you spent planning together. Nightly conversations about the nobility of Giedi Prime, your battle plans, and court intrigues became… something other than work for him. He was starting to like being close to you.

And at night, when he was with his concubines... he found himself imagining you in their place. And how much he wanted you... so much so lately that every little thing you did was the hottest, erotic act for him, even the way you moaned in appreciation when you ate good food. He was fucked up. Like a teenager in love.

But he didn't love you. He could not. His uncle had told him many times that the Harkonnens knew no love or affection. He just had to wait until this desire passed or find another right hand and make you his concubine, which was a much more difficult task. There were many pussies and holes he could have used, but you were the only one who seemed to have a mind even remotely like his. He couldn't afford to lose such a good strategist and soldier.

"Do you need anything, Na-Baron?" Your gentle question brings him out of his thoughts. He nods and goes to his chambers. He returns quickly with a black box in his hands. He hands it to you, carefully watching your reaction.

"Happy birthday, little witch." He says, not hiding a small smirk when he sees your shock. He managed to surprise you so rarely that he treated every such moment with reverence, as if it were the most important moment of his life. Pathetic. What power you had over him…

"How did you..."

"I have my ways too. Open it." He interrupts you, excited by your reaction to his gift. He puts his hands behind his back, feeling his fingers tremble slightly as they begin to sweat. He ignores it, completely focused on you as you gently untie the white bow and open the box. You hold your breath, staring at the dagger in awe. "Steel from my home planet. Don't stab yourself with it by accident. When it pierces someone's body, a piece of the blade dissolves under the heat of the attacker's blood. A small dose of this metal in the human body causes, in the worst case, a moribund state and death. We call it the shadow killer because death occurs hours after the attack unless an antidote is administered."

"I... I don't know what to say." You whisper, taking out the blade and running your fingertips over it. He looks at you with pride. He made it all by himself. For you. A detail he would take with him to his grave rather than admit to anyone.

"You can thank me. Didn't the Bene Gesserit teach you this?" He asks teasingly, making you roll your eyes at him. However, you give him such a beautiful smile that his black, rotten heart beats faster, letting him know about you for the first time in years.

"Thank you, Feyd." He melts when you say his name. You used it so infrequently that he had every little moment seared into his memory when you let your professionalism slip through and did it. And he loved the way his name sounded on your lips. He couldn't help but imagine what it would sound like when you shouted it, under much more pleasant circumstances.

"You know, we Harkonnens kiss each other on the lips as an expression of gratitude." He says this as your eyes move back to the dagger. He sees you freeze at the memory of it. You blush slightly, but enough for Feyd to notice the slight change. And he absolutely loves seeing you blushing and confused.

"I'm not a Harkonnen." You respond with a cheeky smile, and he shakes his head in amusement.

"But you are on our planet. I guess you should follow our rules and customs, right? Besides, in a few years, you'll be considered one of us."

"If I survive."

"I think you have a good chance." He smiles at your banter. The pride in his chest grows even more when, instead of looking at his black teeth in horror, you giggle, unfazed. You were so different…

However, he freezes when you take a step towards him. You cup his cheeks in your hands and pull him in for a kiss. He almost moans into your mouth like a total slut. It takes all of his willpower not to kiss you back, not to pull you closer, and not to actually taste your lips. But he can't. He won't show that he is that weak for you. So he keeps this fake kiss very professional. He is digging his nails into his palms until they bleed, as he is too afraid that he will accidentally reach for your body and pull you closer to him.

You pull away from him as suddenly as you place your lips on him. And he's both shocked and angry that your lips left his so quickly. His eyes wander to your lips as you lick them. Feyd curses himself for how badly he wants that pink tongue of yours to wrap around his own... or the hardening manhood in his pants.

"Thank you, Na-Baron Feyd Rautha." You whisper and head towards the exit, leaving him there, completely horny and wanting more of you—your touch, your kisses, your lips, your taste, your everything. He feels himself blushing at the thought of what he wants to do to you.

"Your welcome, my little witch." He mumbles as you disappear back into your shadows. He puts his bloody fingertips on his lips, tasting his blood. He closes his eyes, imagining how sweet you must taste...

Yeah... Feyd couldn't love you. A lie he had told himself since that night every time he felt his heart pound in his chest whenever he saw you.

"Brother… I mean... my Baron…" Rabban's voice reaches him vaguely as he continues to recall that day. Now he knew the taste of your lips... and your more intimate parts. And damn him if he doesn't put his fingers and tongue on you again.

"What?" He growls at him furiously, unsheathing his dagger and attaching yours to his body. The blade of the dagger was a bit uneven. And soft in his hands. It must have been used recently. And from the dried blood on the handle, he guessed that someone had clumsily tried to clean it. Someone took you from him.

He returns to the bedroom and grabs your shawl from the floor. He puts it to his nose and inhales your scent. He calms down a little—not enough for his fury to disappear, but enough to start thinking logically.

He was going to turn Arrakis into a living hell.

"The council has met. All high families. They are waiting for you."

Feyd would ignore it and go straight to find you, but your disgruntled face appears before his eyes. He would know that you would advise him to go to the council and present himself as best as possible—show his strength. He sighed, wrapping your shawl around his wrist as he made a decision.

"I see. Let's go." He announces this as he leaves the room and doesn't wait for Rabban to follow him. His brother runs after him, cursing under his breath as he tries to keep up with his fast pace. Feyd had a plan in his head and a clear goal. He'll have you in his arms at the end of the day, or he'll burn this damn planet down looking for you.

"And your witch?" Feyd suddenly stops. He turns his head slowly and looks at his brother, narrowing his eyes at him.

He shakes his head, knowing full well that you would castrate his brother before allowing him and his men to take you away. Rabban was too stupid for that and too afraid of him. If Feyd had to bet on who did it, he would choose the Bene Gesserit or Atreides with his Fremen.

"She won't be there. Order our men to close the airspace and monitor movements in the desert. Tell them to keep an eye on the Reverend Mothers and the Bene Gesserit. If they object to or question my decision, order to tell them that the baron is only trying to keep them safe. They are to report their every move to me. Once you've done that, join the meeting."

"Me?" He asks in shock, following obediently after him.

"You are my brother. We have to show that we are strong and that there are no divisions between us. Especially after my uncle is dead. They may think we are weak targets and want to get rid of us, just like we did with the Atreides. We must assert our dominance."

Rabban nods, looking at him warily. Feyd doesn't care what he looks like. They took you away from him. He'll do anything to get you back. It doesn't matter if he makes you seem mad or a worse psychopath than he already is.

Why does he need a reputation as a bloodthirsty beast if someone dared to get their hands on what's his anyway? People sentenced themselves to death and then dared to say that he was unpredictable. Pathetic idiots. He hoped you were giving them hell. His heart ached uncomfortably at the thought of someone hurting you while he had to deal with the nobility.

"Let's be honest. Baron Vladimir is dead. Paul Atreides is still at large, probably planning our murder, and the Fremen are rampaging in the desert, worshipping the false prophet. What are you going to do about it, Baron Feyd Rautha?" Feyd clenched his fists under the table. He slowly stopped being surprised that his uncle had become such a man.

After talking to the emperor for a moment, he felt like cutting out his tongue and gouging out the eyes of other high families staring at him. As if his role was to play their hero...

"We have already taken the first measures. It only takes a few bombs to extinguish the spirit of these desert rats. As for Paul Atreides... my people are looking for him. And my right hand went missing the night my uncle died. We suspect this is a related case. I'm going to head out into the desert and join the search. Of course, leaving members of high families in the care of my brother and some of our people. No one will leave Arrakis until the traitors are killed."

His calm, unruffled demeanour, and silent threat caused a slight stir in the room. Feyd suppressed a smirk. He loved controlling the crowd this way. However, he knew that impressing the emperor would be more difficult. Words were not enough to prove that the Harkonnens were a force they should be afraid of. And so far, his brother and uncle have only brought humiliation to their family. He had to fix it. Only with you by his side. That's why he had to leave this pointless meeting as soon as possible and start taking some action. His weapon craved blood.

"It wouldn't be the first time a concubine had gone missing." Princess Irulan comments. Feyd shifts his gaze to her, analysing her carefully. She was paler than usual, her posture more indifferent, as if she were trying hard to hide her true emotions behind her mask. Feyd made a note to look at her more closely.

"Probably not, Princess Irulan. However, in light of recent events—the Atreides attack, the death of my dear uncle, and the increased activity of the Fremen—I am certain that this is not a mere disappearance. This is a deliberate action. Attack on noble houses. Attack on the Harkonnens. And maybe I wouldn't be so concerned about my right hand being missing if it weren't for the baby." After his words, silence fell in the room. Feyd delights in the shocked look from the princess and the nobles in the room.

"The baby?"

"My heir she carries." Feyd nods, repeating his words to the emperor.

Feyd could barely contain his smirk, knowing full well how much you would like to see the faces of representatives of great houses now. To say they were shocked was an understatement. But what else was he supposed to say? That he goes looking for you with a thousand of his troops because he loves you and simply can't lose you? Only the thought of losing his heir was... a good reason to search all of Arrakis and close the airspace—any possibility of leaving the planet.

Because who would stop Harkonnen from desperately searching for the woman who carries his heir? Even a fool wouldn't dare. And if the Bene Gesserit were behind your kidnapping, they wouldn't dare do anything to you either after hearing that... surprising information. After all, they needed his offspring for their plans. Why would they destroy one? Feyd just hoped to get to you first before anyone discovered that you weren't pregnant at all.

"You horny dog! Why didn't you say anything?" Rabban pats him on the back, laughing hoarsely. It breaks the awkward silence in the room. But still, everyone's eyes are on him.

"We preferred to wait with any celebration until we were sure that the baby was growing healthily. After all, this could be our Kwisatz Hederach. Of course, now the safe return of my fiancée with our child is much more important. Therefore, I hope that the Emperor will consent to whatever… measures I intend to take in this matter. Whoever dared to raise a hand against the Harkonnens will pay the weight of their crimes in blood." Feyd continues his lies, knowing full well that you will kick his ass when you find out he called you his fiancée in front of great houses.

"But… I talked to the Baron…"

"My uncle... has not been in good health for a long time. May he rest in peace. Whatever arrangement he made with you, the emperor, during my reign it must be discussed again. Unfortunately, he will not rise from the grave and give us all the details."

"Of course… Baron Feyd-Rautha." The Emperor nods at him. Feyd takes the opportunity and decides to leave the room while he can. He nods to his brother, who turns out to be intelligent enough to understand the message and stands up as well.

"Excellent. If you don't mind, we'll leave now."

He doesn't wait for an answer. He just goes out, with Rabban close behind him. He orders him to prepare the army for the march and place spies around the fortress. They split up halfway to Feyd's rooms. He goes to prepare for his departure, hoping that Rabban will cope with the tasks he has entrusted to him. He missed you. He knew he wouldn't have to worry about anything if you were by his side.

He sighs as he enters his chambers. He stops in his tracks, seeing Princess Irulan next to his collection of weapons. He closes the door behind him with a bang, announcing his presence. The woman trembles and turns towards him.

"Baron."

"Princess." He responds coldly, looking at her carefully. He didn't say anything more. He wanted her to explain her sudden presence in his chambers. He notices, however, that his new title sounds nasty coming from her mouth, no matter how seductively she tries to say it. He imagines you whispering it in his ear as you ride him on his new throne on Giedi Prime...

"I thought you were leaving." He returns to the present moment, making sure he remembers to fulfil this fantasy once you both get back from this damn planet.

"I needed to change first." He replies and clears his throat, suggesting that she should leave. Unfortunately, she either doesn't want to or doesn't understand his hint and stays where she is, watching him carefully.

He feels like he's playing chess. One wrong move, and he loses a pawn. He hated this game until you started playing with him in the evenings, when you exchanged gossip from the court and your own comments. He doesn't remember how many times you fell asleep and he carried you to his bed. His harpies hated these evenings, and he too hated them at the beginning. Over time, he was just waiting for that moment when he was able to watch you snuggle into his pillow, sleeping peacefully.

"I… that's good. I was hoping to talk to you before you left."

"Talk then." He says this and starts taking off his clothes. He notices her blush and the way she looks away. But there's nothing sweet or funny about this gesture, unlike the way you do it. He changes into his usual tactical battle armour as fast as he can, still thinking about the way you used to even shout at him when he was going fully naked around you.

"I was shocked by this news. About the baby. And your fiancée."

"Why?"

"Well, you know very well, my lord, that the Bene Gesserit has planned to unite our families. This shouldn't have happened." He furrows his hairless eyebrows, feeling the anger start to boil within him again. How dare she tell him what he should do? Who should get pregnant, and who should not? He didn't care what the Bene Gesserit wanted. Feyd wanted you, and you probably wanted him. That was all that mattered.

"Would you rather be at my fiancée's place? Would you rather carry my baby instead of her?" He asks dangerously, approaching her slowly. Before she can react, he lunges forward and almost crushes her neck in his grip when he prevents her from using the voice. "You are trembling with fear, princess. It is pathetic that the Bene Gesserit even thought we could connect in any way. Even if we got married, I wouldn't lay a finger on you. At best, I would kill you right after I consolidated my power as emperor. Now that we both know where we stand... Tell me, where is my little witch?"

"The Reverend Mother sent her to Paul Atreides' hideout." She answers him obediently. Feyd smirks sadistically and maliciously as her eyes widen in shock when she realises he has used the voice on her. "How?" She managed to ask before Feyd tightened his grip on her throat again, giving her a bored look.

"With one of your witches by my side, do you think I won't do anything to learn your tricks? I'm not an idiot to let an opportunity like this pass me by. You think that I didn't also see you wince with every move at the meeting? This must have happened right after my fiancée stabbed you when you kidnapped her, right? The poison took effect, didn't it? Are you feeling weak? Do you feel how you slowly lose your vitality with each breath? It will get even worse. Maybe my fiancée will have the mercy to give you the antidote, but I have no intention of doing so. Now listen to me carefully. You won't say or write even a word to inform anyone about what happened. You will lock yourself in your room and endure the effects of the poison without complaining to anyone that something is wrong with you. Get out of my sight before I finish my beloved's work."

He throws her away like a rag doll, feeling defiled just by touching her neck. The only reason he kept her alive was because she was the emperor's daughter, and he couldn't afford to get rid of her YET. She runs away from him as soon as his grip on her neck is gone.

He smiles mockingly and leaves his chambers as well. Now that he knew you would be in the desert, he was going to dig up those damn sand folds and kill all the Fremen and Bene Gesserit who had a hand in your kidnapping.

And once you are by his side again, he will give you the heads of the princess, Corrino's Reverend Mother, and Atreides on a golden platter—an engagement present worthy of a real baroness. Well, he'll have to convince you to marry him first. He sighs, realising how much work is still ahead of him.

You wake up feeling numb. Entirely. There's a gag in your mouth, your hands are tied behind your back, and your ankles are cuffed together, completely preventing you from moving.

You look around your surroundings, realising that you are in one of the Fremen hideouts. A small room carved into the sandy rock resembles a prison cell. You gasp as you try to get off the floor. With a groan, you lean against the cold wall behind you as you somehow manage to sit up. You wonder how the hell you ended up here. And how can you escape when you are completely incapacitated?

Suddenly, the door to the room opens, and Corrino's Reverend Mother enters. You look at the woman with a calculating gaze, showing no emotion other than disgust.

"Y/N Y/L/N. We thought you were dead."

You roll your eyes at her. The old hag knew perfectly well that you had a gag. The fact that she expected any response from you was ridiculous.

"You betrayed your sisters. We should have killed you the moment you were recognised by one of us. You're lucky we're still keeping you alive."

You would snort if you didn't have a gag in your mouth. The Bene Gesserit knew no mercy; if they kept you alive, it was because they still needed you in their plans. After all, you were the strongest of them, which might not be visible now, but it was the truth. They didn't train you all your life and shape you into their ideal form of some sick Holly Mother, just to throw you away now.

You are tensing as the old woman walks up to you and painfully grabs your jaw. You glare at her furiously with your own, not showing an ounce of fear or remorse. What you wouldn't give to have at least a butter knife with you…

"Do you think you are smart, child? That you managed to escape fate? Not at all. Our visions may have been blurry, but now we see everything. Paul Atreides sees everything. After his plan succeeds, he becomes emperor, and you will become his concubine and the mother of the Kwisatz Hederach. Until then, we will keep you under control."

"Who allowed you to come in here?" A cold, commanding voice echoes throughout the small cell. The Reverend Mother steps away from you as if she's been burned by him, giving you the opportunity to look at Paul Atreides as she steps inside. You shiver as his cold gaze falls on you, but you show them nothing but disgust and anger. If you're going to die, at least you will make sure that before you do that, you'll be remembered by them as one big pain in the ass.

"I..."

"Silience!" Atreides yells at her as she feebly tries to explain herself to him. You frown, wondering how the hell he gained such power over the Bene Gesserit. "Leave us alone."

The woman nods obediently and leaves, closing the bars to your cell behind her. You shift your gaze to Atreides, examining him carefully. He was… more portly than you remembered him last time. He became stronger, tougher, and visibly hardened by the sands of Arrakis, since his posture was stiff as armour. You catch yourself thinking that if he stood in the arena in Giedi Prime, he would still lose to your na-baron.

"I am not here to hurt you, Y/N." Atreides says, walking over to you. He crouches down so that you are both at the same height. You look closely at the features of his face, analysing them carefully, trying to read what's behind the strange behaviour of the mysterious Fremen's prophet. "We both have our roles to play here. Something that is above us. I learned a lot about you.I know about your service to the Harkonnens, what you endured as a Bene Gesserit, and every darkest part of your past. And I know you are a wise and very strong woman. You probably understand why all this is so important and why we must fulfil the prophecy and take our places in this story." He says, removing your gag. You clear your throat as he finishes his speech, and, trying to hide your concern, you growl, your voice so hoarse and dripping with madness that Feyd would surely be proud of you:

"You are a mad freak. Feyd will kill you as soon as he finds you. And hell knows, he will come for me. It will be pure joy to fight him for the privilege of being the one who impales your head." Atreides gives you a small smile. He shakes his head, amused by what you're saying. He stands up, helping you to stand on your two feet as well, placing his hands on your waist respectfully, and touching you as little as necessary.

"Come with me. Let me show you something." He says this in an extremely calm voice as he removes the chain from around your ankles. You briefly consider kicking him and trying to escape, but you realise there's not much you can do with your hands tied. You are also still weak—too weak to maintain control over someone else for long with the voice. "Do not be afraid. I told you. I have no reason to hurt you." He encourages, concluding that your hesitation is out of fear and not a desire to attack him.

"I lived for years among the Harkonnens. I'm not afraid of anything except myself."

He gives you an ironic smirk, as if he were convinced that he was an evil worse than the Harkonnens. You don't care about his poor attempts to intimidate you. You weren't some desert rat to be terrified of a man with nice curls and eyes.

You walk through a series of corridors, and of course he leads you, holding your arm tightly and making sure you don't do anything stupid on this little trip around his kingdom. It brings you great satisfaction. Your reputation had obviously taken its toll if he continued to be vigilant around you while you were still half sedated and tied up without any weapons.

You smile sadistically at the Fremen you pass. They look away from you, too afraid to meet your gaze. You were known among them as the Na-Baron's bloodthirsty right-hand, whose cruelty rivalled that of many Harkonnens.

You and Atreides go deeper down. You slowly start to feel dizzy from the number of corridors, corners, and stairs he tells you to take, but eventually you reach a more spacious room. You sigh, feeling the humid air—a sweet change from the dry Arrakis wind. Atreides takes the torch and leads you deeper into the room. You gasp as you see a large pool full of water.

"The Fremen treat water as something sacred. They collect it from the bodies of their people; the water of the more deserving people goes to such pools."

"This is a waste. And stupid, considering that they are dying from a lack of water while having pools of it safely hidden from the Harkonnens." You notice, staring at the pool of water. You tense as you feel Paul's searching gaze on you. You turn your head and give him an intimidating look. He doesn't even flinch. He is unfazed as he continues to analyse you—something you don't like at all. You wish Feyd was here. He would gouge Atreides' eyes out the first time his gaze lingered on you for a second too long.

"Possible. But it's not the first time we waste something in the name of faith, right?"

"Faith befuddles and stupefies. Same as prophecies. We are responsible for our own fate. It doesn't matter what some crazy old man wrote in the books a hundred years ago, probably under the influence of drugs or other alcohol. No one influences our future except ourselves."

His silence at your words worries you. You turn your head to look at him. A small smirk spreads across his face—a sign that your words didn't outrage him as much as they were supposed to. He nods, agreeing with your words, and you realise what he really means. The son of a bitch was testing you. Logical, considering that he was the one who started the cult of him. He thought like you. He did not believe in any Kwisatz Hederach, and even if he did, he considered himself one. He just needed you to keep the propaganda and people's faith in him.

He wanted to show that he had tamed the Harkonnen's witch.

Atreides walks over to you and carefully places a hand on your shoulder, directing you to a different side of the room. You pass by a pool of water. In the centre, there is a large stone bowl on a platform.

"The Reverend Mothers call it the mirror of wisdom. It shows us our future if we continue on the path we are currently on. Look. See what awaits you with your crazy beast by your side."

"It's very brave of you to think that I'm not one." He chuckled at your words. He lets go of you and takes two steps back, keeping his amused, curious gaze on you.

"The Harkonnens are different from us. You may think you are one of them, that you have absorbed their ways and behaviours, but the truth is that you are not one of them at all. You may have adapted to survive among them, but can you look me in the eyes and tell me you don't long for something more... normal?"

"Normality is for the weak." You reply, huffing furiously. "Apart from that, my life has always been different from normal. This is my normality, Atreides."

"Even the bravest warrior needs a break, a moment of respite. Look. Aren't you curious?"

You were very damn curious. Especially after that strange dream/vision you had. So, without saying a word, you approach the bowl of water. You take a breath and dive your head into it, letting the images flood your mind.

This time you are not on Giedi Prime, and you are not a participant in the events. From a distance, you watch the older version of yourself adjust the crown on her head. Empress's crown.

You see yourself flinching in the mirror as the door to your chamber bursts open. Feyd, dressed as an emperor, walks in furiously, heading straight for you. He pushes the large mirror, smashing it against the wall with a roar.

However, you don't care about his sudden attack and watch him, unfazed, as he gasps with rage.

"Is something wrong, honey?" You ask in an almost too-sweet tone, mocking him.

"Do you have the nerve to ask me that? Why don't you tell me where my concubine is instead? Where did you send her? You gave the corpses to the harpies to eat? If any harm has come to her, I will make you eat all three of them before I tear out your cunning heart from your chest, witch."

"You'd have to touch me first. And we both know that lately you're more afraid of laying a finger on me than of our son dethroning you. Which is very surprising, by the way. Has that concubine of yours brainwashed you so much?" You see yourself smiling mockingly as you watch his anger grow with every word you say.

"Don't talk about her like that. Unlike you, she's not a cold, uncaring, selfish bitch."

"Of course not. A smart woman wouldn't willingly sleep with you." This completely breaks the remnants of his composure. He walks over to the older version of you and wraps his hand around her neck, pressing her against the wall.

But he doesn't do it the same way he does with you. It's not a gentle neck hold, a warning, or anything sexual—something that would turn you both on. He just cuts you off, choking you, watching with sick satisfaction as you squirm, trying to get out of his grasp.

"What's stopping me from ending your miserable life? You have already given me a son; your usefulness has long passed, and yet I still let you breathe the same air as me." He says this, tightening his grip on your neck. You gasp as he pushes you away.

From the way you fall to the floor and choke for air, you assume that the older version of you was only seconds away from suffocating. But you don't surrender to him; you don't give him any satisfaction in trying to intimidate you. You start laughing derisively, shaking your head in amusement as you slowly get up from the floor.

"Aw... you couldn't kill me. You're like a dog. You bark and do little. You love me too much to kill me, don't you remember? How did you beg me all those years ago for a piece of my feelings? Who said I love you first? Who was begging on his knees for my hand? Who wanted to have a child? You. You are just a desperate little boy looking for love and affection. You probably even liked the fact that I'm jealous of you and kill your lover? Unfortunately, I don't give a shit who you fuck. I didn't steal your whore, so get out and don't waste my time, husband." You mock him, waiting expectantly for his next move.

He stares at you with pure hatred and resentment. You feel the tension in the room begin to build; the immense anger and disgust between the two of you are palpable. You have no fucking idea how you came to be so hostile towards each other, but... you can't say you're surprised. Because if you were already imagining a future with Feyd... this was the scenario that came to your mind most often.

The two of you were too broken to trust each other and entrust each other with the remnants of the heart that beat and remained within you.

Feyd looks like he wants to say something. But he gives up and instead just leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

You swallow, observing your pathetic fate. The empress locked in a golden palace. At eternal war with everyone. Lonely. Your heart aches at the thought of this being your fate. This is what you were running from. Before relegating you solely to the vessel she was to carry and give to the world, Kwisatz Hederach, Because what would be the use of you then? You would be rejected and alone. Waiting to die. However, you didn't expect your end to look like THIS.

A figure emerges from the darkness of the room through a hidden passage—a man who is a copy of you and Feyd. You see a similarity in him, in your movements, in your creeping through the shadows. He approaches you from behind, holding a dagger similar to the one Feyd gave you on your birthday. You don't react when you feel steel around your neck, as if you had long ago come to terms with how you would die—and by whose hands.

"You were right, mother… I was destined to achieve much more."

And with that, he cuts your throat. Crimson blood runs down your dress, almost invisible against the black material. You die quickly. Quietly. Like a rat...

"Have you seen something interesting?" Atreides' voice reaches you as you step away from the bowl after the vision ends. You sigh heavily, breathing heavily. Drops of water roll down your face and soak into your linen shirt.

"Screw you." You snap at him, trying to wipe your face on the frame. He tears off a piece of his shavl and walks over to you. He wipes the water from your face and hair, not caring about the scowl you throw at him in warning.

"I told you. The future with Harkonnen cannot end well. But if you stay with me, I promise nothing will happen to you. You can be more free with me than you ever could with him."

And you're tempted as hell to accept his offer. You can't say you're not interested at all, that what you saw hasn't made you question your choices... but you've been a Harkonnen for so many years. Could you really forget all this so easily? Forget about Feyd? Maybe in that stupid Bene Gesserit's bowl you saw your tragic end at his side... but did it really have to end like this? You could avoid all this. Take a risk to gain something much better...

"So this is your offer? Freedom and security for lending my uterus for 9 months?" You ask him, wanting to know exactly what options and choices you have.

"In very simple terms, yes." He nods, still staring at you. You find this very irritating of him; you were usually the one who pierced other people with your gaze. Not the other way around.

"What for? You're telling these fools that you're their saviour and the messiah. Kwisatz Hederach, ahead of his time. Why do you need me?"

"I need the support of the Reverend Mothers of other families. I may have... your powers and be the strongest of them all, but I've learned that if you can gain someone's support in a peaceful way, it's better to try it before reaching for a weapon."

Atreides stared at you like you were a puzzle to solve. You didn't like the hidden arrogance in his eyes—the belief that he was truly capable of discovering all your secrets.

Maybe he knew your past, and maybe he saw visions of the future, possible scenarios of what might have happened after his decisions, but the present was yours. And only yours. You will be more than happy to show him that no one could tear out all your fangs and claws.

"Feyd will kill you sooner and bind me with tighter chains than you did, than he ever allowed such a turn of events." You say confidently, convinced that he won't just leave you. In this situation, it's a huge relief for you... but in your head, you can still see his sadistic smirk as he choked you against the wall.

"Not if I kill him." You tense up at his words, and your heart starts to beat faster as you process his words. You would never think that Feyd Rautha could ever die—not by another person's hand, of course. And certainly not Atreides.

He fought too well, was too intelligent and cunning to fail in battle, and yet... you couldn't deny that that one simple sentence Paul said with such confidence didn't send a cold shiver of fear down your spine or that you felt no threat.

"Have you ever seen him in the arena? Or how does he fight? You may have become stronger thanks to your time on Arrakis, but he was trained from childhood to be a small, psychopathic killer and ruthless warrior. You don't stand a chance, Atreides. You won't last a minute fighting him."

"Maybe not in an equal fight. But by trick? More than one great king fell under the intrigue of a lesser man."

"Are you talking about your father or maybe even your mother?" You ask mockingly, making his jaw tense and his hands clench into fists. You are very pleased with yourself that you finally managed to hit his sweet spot. Feyd would be proud of you.

"I'm talking about what will happen. Feyd Rautha will die. From my hands." The more he talks about it, the more your anger grows. However, you decide to stay calm and continue the little exchange between the two of you, trying to get something useful from him.

"Are you that sure about your visions? You don't hesitate for a moment, Atreides? It must be so boring knowing what's going to happen. Never having any element of surprise…"

"There are no more certain and clear visions than mine. Maybe you should also start believing in them?"

"Not as long as I have my brain." And my own visions. You add it in your mind, thinking about what you had dreamed about before you woke up in this hole.

"The rumors about you don't lie… Harkonnen's witch." He hums as he walks over to you. His hand reaches up to your cheek, using the pad of his thumb to gently wipe your cheek clean of the drop of water still left on it.

You shiver, staring into his eyes. His touch burns, but not in a nice, familiar way. And when you realise that the reason you're not attracted to him is because he doesn't have the familiar ice-blue irises, pale skin, and bald head, it scares you more than Atreides' sudden proximity to you.

"I'm glad I didn't disappoint you, Atreides." You whisper, moving away from him. You quickly lean in, wanting to bite, or preferably bite off, his finger that was caressing your skin, but he withdraws his hand and takes a step away from you. He laughs at your feeble attempt to harm him.

He opens his mouth to say something, but then the ground around you starts shaking. The sand rock crumbles, causing some of it to fall from the ceiling onto the ground. Atreides looks at you suspiciously.

"Didn't you see it in your visions? Maybe there's a sandworm crawling through your halls?" You ask mockingly, shrugging your shoulders.

"Stay here." He commands you using the voice. He doesn't spare you a second glance, simply heading for the exit. You look at him in disbelief and quickly follow him. The last thing you want is to get buried in one of these rats' corridors because one of them summoned a sandworm in the wrong way.

"I could be of much more use to you there than here." You say, as you are catching up with him, desperately trying to convince him.

"Not if these are Harkonnens!" He replies without looking back and slamming the door shut. You kick them in rage, looking around angrily at the large hall where he left you.

"That's the point…" You sigh, fed up with it all. You walk around the room, trying to find a way out, but even when you manage to find the side passages, you can't take a step beyond the threshold. You are forced to stay inside. "Fucking Atreides."

Instead of wandering aimlessly around the room, you decide to try and break the shackles that bind your hands. You try to smash them against the stalagmite, only to hit harder as the metal cuts into your wrists. After a while, when you have released all your anger, you somehow manage to free your hands. You rub your wrists, letting your blood soak into the sleeve of your linen shirt. You close your eyes and listen to the quiet sound of the water and the footsteps you hear from the upper floors. Something is happening...

Frustrated, you wander over to the pool filled with water. You crouch on the edge and dip your toes in the water. You watch the drops fall, wondering how many people have already given their lives. How many died at the hands of the Harkonnens? You wonder whether your water and blood will also join the ranks of their victims. It seems surreal to you now that Feyd could ever kill you or your own son... but how were you supposed to know what your future was supposed to be? Were you supposed to trust some strange visions or yourself?

While playing with water, you freeze when you suddenly see someone leaning over you. Before you can turn around, a hand covers your mouth, and another wraps around your waist, lifting you up. You scream and kick, trying to get out of someone's tight grip, but your attempts to break free are futile. You freeze when you hear a familiar, raspy voice whisper in your ear.

"Don't worry, it's me. It's just me. Shhh… You're safe. It's me." You relax a little in his arms. You reach your hand up to his and remove it from your mouth. He loosens his grip enough for you to turn in his arms.

"Feyd." You sigh when you see his face. You throw your arms around him and nuzzle your face into his neck. You rest your chin on his shoulder and breathe in his scent as you hold onto him tightly.

You hear him breathe a sigh of relief as well. He places a kiss on the top of your head and hugs you tighter. After a moment, he pulls away from you—not too far away, only a bit—so he can look at your face and see if you have any injuries.

"You're getting out of here. Our men are hidden in every corridor of this hole. Take a few of them and go to the exit. They will take you to the ship. Wait for me there." He gently cups your cheeks in his hands and forces you to look into his eyes. Your heart beats faster as you recognise that concerned look in his eyes from your dream, mixed with anger. "Y/N. I mean it. I know you want to fight; you're brave and a great warrior, but do it for me and just go to that damn ship."

"No. Wait, listen to me. I have to tell you something..."

"You'll tell me you love me later, now you have to get out of here, so I can destroy this place." He interrupts you, gently pushing you towards the exit. You feel anger and frustration building within you as yet another person tries to control you and tell you what to do. No matter how sweet and protective Feyd is acting now, you are fed up with constantly obeying everyone around you.

"Stop!" You shout at him, making him stop in his tracks in shock. Under any other circumstances, you would laugh at the surprised look he gives you, but not now. "Do you trust me?" You ask, looking at him expectantly. You know you're asking a lot of him right now, but if you're going to change your future, you have to act now. And fast. Very fast.

"Y/N this isn't the best…"

"Do you trust me?!" You interrupt him, raising your voice. He must see the desperation and seriousness in your eyes because you see him swallow, considering the question you've asked him. You unconsciously hold your breath, waiting for him to respond.

You both know this isn't an ordinary question. It means something more. Admitting something you both had been avoiding since the first day your blades met in a little skirmish that earned you his sympathy. He had long admired you for your mind, intelligence, ingenuity, cunning, and natural charm. But could he trust you completely?

"I… I do. If I trust anyone, it's you. Only you."

You feel tears welling up in your eyes. You take a step towards him, cupping his cheek in your hand and kissing him. He tenses in surprise but kisses you back pretty quickly, moaning into your mouth as you express all the passion and desire you feel for him. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to him, wanting to feel your body against his to make sure this isn't some dream. You caress the skin of his neck, shuddering as an electric shiver runs through you as he deepens the kiss, taking everything you have to offer him.

Kissing Feyd always felt like it was the first kiss between the two of you. He kissed like he fought—with his whole being, not holding back, transmitting all his passion and desire. He didn't even know how much you needed to taste all of him right now. And how bittersweet that kiss was for you.

You reluctantly pull away from him and press your forehead against his. You close your eyes, letting out a shaky breath.

"I love you, Feyd. I have always loved you. And I was very afraid of it, but I'm not anymore... I... I don't want to be scared of this anymore." You admit it as a single tear falls from your eyes. He reaches to wipe it off, but you shake your head. His hand freezes, hanging between you as he stares at you in shock, trying to process what you said.

Just as he's about to open his mouth, probably to tell you the same thing, you lean in and kiss him again. Slower, more gentle. A few tears escape you, allowing you both to taste them through the kiss.

You reach for the sword attached to his waist with trembling hands.

"I'm so sorry. But it's not our time yet." You whisper, moving away from him just as Paul Atreides returns to the room. He slowly walks towards you, his sword dripping with black Harkonnen blood. And you decide that if anyone spills blood in this room, it will be you. It must be you.

So when Paul is about to approach you and stab Feyd in the back, you close your eyes and stab Feyd with his sword. You hear him let out a shaky breath as his black blood slowly seeps from the wound, staining your hands. You keep your other hand on his shoulder, supporting his weight as he slowly sinks to his knees in front of you. You try to ignore him, not look at him or in his eyes... you simply cannot. Instead, you stare at Atreides.

Paul is beyond shocked by your actions. He looks for a moment at Feyd's black sword, the tip sticking out of his back��proof of what you did. After a moment, his eyes meet yours. After a while, he approaches you, sheathes his sword, and smiles proudly.

"This will be the beginning of a wonderful alliance, Lady Y/N." He says this, offering you his hand, which you reach for. You shake them, glaring at each other, assessing each other's behaviour as a new agreement forms between you.

You smile, hiding your fear as best as you can and holding back tears when you see Feyd's unconscious body out of the corner of your eye. But you've come too far to change your mind. From now on, you decide your fate.

Only you.

To be continued...

Taglist: (I REALLLLY hope that everyone who wanted to be here is here...😅 I;m sorry if I missed someone <3) @skymoonandstardust @prettybubblesintheair @thegabbyh @himesuedi @wo-ming-bai @beebeechaos @mamawiggers1980 @moonsoulk @avidreader73 @heartarianagran @dreamlandcreations @ancientbeing10 @lovereadingfanfic @jeansjoie @workof-a-rr-t @aixicl @ladyredstar1991 @evangelineimagine @hobobobo-fett56 @happyant3 @marsflys @aaaaaamond @kamcrazy123 @k1swass @yum-yahgurt @tyns13 @oh-you-mean-me @menari @tyns13 @vaf24 @dacreshoney @emrennoll-blog @tian-monique @slightlypossessed @celestialadrift @lauramooij05 @flaps200 @chixnugg22 @aaaaaamond @marvelfangirl04 @sw33tsnow @emeraldsgirl @imyourbubblegumpop @tempt-ress @harkonnin @k1swass @alana4610 @cloudroomblog @lotus-888 @lowlyloved @spoolsofgreenspoolsofblack @w3ird11 @kythefangirl25 @hobobobo-fett56 @nj452896 @oneandonlybbygrl @noirecatt @iloved1lfs0 @mamawiggers1980 @lololfixu @barnes70stark @obsessedvibee @aaaaaamond @workof-a-rr-t 

[angelic-writer]

Whumpcember Day 7 - Fainting (Alt 7. Hunger)

CW: Starvation

"Are you sure you don't want any, Mark?" George asked.

"I'm sure. You guys need it more than me." Mark pushed the plate of food towards them.

"But you've barely eaten anything for the past week. You're losing weight." Fred said.

"I know, but I need to show them that what they're doing is wrong!"

"Mark, they're just gonna blame us. You know how this town is with us."

"I know!!" He sighed. "I know and it's disgusting and wrong! You guys shouldn't have to suffer because of what happened to Cesar..." He shivered. "Here. I made sure it doesn't have any allergens in them."

"Mark... You don't have to do this." Cathy muttered.

"Cathy, you're my family. I can't let you guys get hurt."

After a bit of deliberation, the triplets slowly began to eat. Satisfied, he left their room, gripping his stomach tightly. Everyone's treatment of the Flammias have gotten so much worse since Cesar almost died. He was almost killed by one of the spies, held captive in the hospital, comatose against his will and almost died again. Despite that, Santiago blamed it on the triplets, saying that he almost died because he wanted to protect them.

That didn't make any sense to him. Isn't it a hero's duty to protect the people you care about? If it were him that Cesar almost died to protect, wouldn't Santiago be praising him? He would be hailed as the hero they want him to be.

His vision began to grow dim and he fell to his knees. Deep breaths, Mark. Don't faint. Don't faint. Just get some fluids in you. You'll be fine.

It'll be worth it. You need to teach them a lesson...

-----

Everyone was gathered at the table, talking about what they're gonna do today. N kept badgering Stanley about him having Uno while Damien tried to steer the conversation back to the topic at hand. Mark couldn't focus. He wanted to, but he was so fucking hungry...

"Mark? You alright?" Cesar asked.

"Yeah. I-I'm alright..."

"You sure? You look a little pale."

"I'm sure. I'll get something later."

"Dude, you've been saying for the past few days. You look like you're about to drop dead at any moment. You really need to eat something."

"Cesar, I already told you, I need to-"

"Mark? Do you have anything to add?" David suddenly asked.

"Oh, uh... I think we... We need better security systems since people get through them too easily... I think something is up with the security team..." He stood up on shaky legs. "We need to investigate what's..." His vision grew spotty.

"Mark? Hey.." Cesar shook him by the shoulder.

"We...." Mark dropped like a stone. Cesar caught him and set him down as the room erupted into chaos.

"What the- What happened?!"

"Mark?!"

"Is he alright?!"

They all crowded around him as Cesar set Mark's head in his lap. Quick pulse check. Slow heartbeat. "Dave, go get Esther!"

The triplets were in the other room, watching the whole thing go down. They were starting to shake now. They're gonna blame it on them. Everything was their fault.

Mark blinked his eyes open as everything started to come back to him.

"Mark? Can you hear me?" Cesar patted his face.

"Ugh... What happened...?"

"You fainted. Don't worry. Esther's coming to get you."

"Wh... But the triplets..."

"Don't worry. We won't let anything happen to them."

------

Mark slowly opened his eyes to a blinding light shining above him. After blinking a bit, he noticed that he was in the infirmary. An IV was inserted into his arm.

"Oh good, you're awake." Esther looked up from her paperwork on the desk. "The IV's there to give you extra nutrients. You didn't look very good."

"Esther? Wh..."

"You fainted during the meeting. Cesar told me what happened." She held him down with her stare. "Mark, when was the last time you ate something?"

"Ummm...."

"What about fluids? Have you had any water?"

"I've been having some apple juice...."

"Okay, but have you gotten some actual food in you?"

He was silent.

"Mark, starving yourself shouldn't be taken lightly. It's unhealthy to deprive your body of important nutrients. Your body could be breaking down other cells to make up for the nutrients you're depriving them of."

"I-I wanted them to see that what they're doing is wrong..."

"Them?"

"Yeah. The reason why I haven't been eating is because Santiago has been limiting their food intake. I did it to get him to see that it was wrong. He somehow got the other parents to believe that it was because of Cesar. They were pretty badly beforehand, but this... This is too much."

"My goodness... Just how much food were they taking away from them?"

Mark was silent for a bit. "...They were getting by on granola bars."

Esther blinked in disbelief. "Just granola bars? But aren't they allergic to peanuts? I know some of them have peanut butter for a flavor."

"They avoided the peanut butter ones."

"You mean to tell me they were only being fed granola bars and nothing else?!"

"Well, that and food scraps, but that's barely enough."

"Of course it's barely enough. They need a lot more than that to get enough of the nutrients needed!"

"That's what I mean! They're starving them and I wanted to snap them out of it!"

Esther looked down at her clipboard. "It seems like there are a few adults there who don't believe the delusion of the week going on here."

"Yeah. They're the only ones who care about them."

"I see."

Mark nodded, then gripped his stomach in pain. It felt like his body was eating itself alive. Why did he think this was a good idea?

"You should really eat something."

"Please. I can't take it anymore."

[butterflypriestessnneka]

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

-Romans 12:19

This is what I reflected on today. Devotional about releasing shame, hatred, and everything that Ive held on to thats kept me shackled in this lifetime. My twin and i are healing together both one foot in both worlds. The more we spend the days together and share things we never known about each other, the more I learn of his pains being similar to mine. He never knew I had so much pain and trauma because when we met he only saw me smiling and i only saw him smiling.

There was so much that kept me from sharing my troubles with him. I now understand that the Devil uses pain to keep one from wanting to heal and release. In Galatians 5:1 “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”. All these years I���ve held on to my pain and felt tied down by everything thats happened to me even when abusers, users, etc were constantly trying to stay close to me. All this time I’ve been free in mind, body, soul, and Spirit. These last three days have been emotional more than most days for my twin and I because i have shared old pictures, memories, and truths with him and others in Spirit ( I thankGod for gifting me with Mediumship. And it’s not true that God looks down on Mediumship).

The very fear of us not loving each other the same or not seeing each other in the very love and light that we did when God led us to one another, we thought wed lose by revealing our pains to another. This was very far from the truth with my twin and I. Now, in the spirit he lives through me but also through the healing work we do. He enjoys reading the bibles with me, praying, taking everyday one day at a time, and we have figured out how to do everything he’d love to do with me in the flesh. The Lord is the foundation of our relationship now more than ever and we always discuss the past, healing from those times and how the Lord has always been there for us. We feel we have been stricken with heartbreak in this lifetime because he was taken from his body so soon and unexpectedly for him… but he found me again as I have found him .

‭‭Theres so many lessons in this lifetime to be learned. A-lot of heartbreak but so much healing and beauty coming from it. I never would have ever imagined my experiences and life would be like this.

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

9, 14, 15? ✨

Thank you for the Asks!

9. Write a recommendation of someone else's fic you enjoyed!

@theredheadedcaptain finished her long fic Celestial Storms almost exactly 1 year ago. This was the story that made me first fall in love with her story telling.

It's a beautiful post Endgame J/C romance with a robust ensemble cast (and some thoroughly engaging original characters!) It follows J/C through a new mission, an encounter with old enemies, and introduces a well handled interpersonal conflict that speaks to class tensions between former Maquis and other edge-of-the-Federation characters and the Earth-centric human Starfleet characters. In short I loved everything about it. The action and adventure, the political undertones and social commentary and the romance - omg the romance! It is a can't miss long fic!

14. Is there a character or ship you were so sure you would never write/draw but now you've changed your mind?

I struggled conceptualizing Seven of Nine when I first started writing Voyager fic. She seemed like a canonical mess of contradictions - first because of how the costuming objectified her in an extremely uncomfortable way - and then how the narrative really didnt deal well with how it must have felt being sexualized - by crewmates and her doctor and aliens - having just barely left the borg where her body was something that was probably only conceptualized in strictly functional terms (its own kind of objectification). All of her voyager era romance plotlines really squicked me for a long time (dont let me fall into my Doctor/Seven rant 😆)

And then two things happened.

(1) Picard came out and Seven had a queer romantic arc with Raffi.

(2) I met my wife, who had been a neurodivergent closeted teen in a much more social-norms-concious community than I'd grown up in, talking to me about how shed intensely studied and tried to emulate traditionally feminine things and had boyfriends as a way to "fit in" without actually knowing how it was supposed to feel

And suddenly a lot of things that never used to click with me about Seven - confusion about attraction and dating and insistence on performing heteronormatic romantic gestures as if dating was some essential part of being an individual - all of those offputting sexist storylines from the Voyager era looked a lot more like queer and neurodivergent coded behaviors.

And then Seven became a lot more intriguing and understandable to me on rewatches (Queer and Neurodiverent being neither of the things the original 90s character creators probably indented when they stuck her in the catsuit and had the Doctor give her social lessons)  And shes now become a lot more fun to write now that I have an interpretation of her that jives with me.

15. Have you noticed your style change over time?

I dont know if i could pin point any one thing. but its like... I enjoy my own writing a lot more in the past 3-4 years than I did before. i feel more confident about it. A lot of that was rebuilding a writing community around me on discord (losing the in person one I had in college had me floundering for a while) and the second part was finding a planning process that worked for me - ive become a lot more confident that i can outline an idea, put it in a drawer and know that i can pick it up a few weeks or months later and have a solid blueprint for how to write that story.

Ive also gotten more concise and more conscious of a story's scope (i can finish a long fic in about 80-90k rather than 200k). And ive also gotten a lot more comfortable with the creative ebb and flow i tend to go through. just generally a lot more confident and comfortable with my craft. i know thats not the specific question but its definitely had a positive impact on my overall storytelling too.

[beamzar]

23rd November 2023

Open entry: 19:54

Today was a good day.

I woke up as usual and threw on whatever cl9thes i had left over from the week. Most of my clothes have been dissapearing, and i dont know where to. Its really irritating bevause ive got like 3 pairs of trousers left to live with. Hoge problem because i will be out and about woth my best friends parents and grandparents to a resturant, and I need to look presentable..... BUT MY TROUSERS ARE GONE. FOREVER. My mum keeps sending my clothes to bulgaria. Its so annoying.

School went completely normal. I was almost late because of my teeth routine, and having to find trousers.. but i managed to get there at a good time. The entire day was kind of a blur, but my last lesson did get cancelled, so me and my bff gpt out early. We went to her house and had a good chat. We talked woth her mom for like an hour. She is very "hip and cool", a very kind and nice person to be around. She is so cheery, shes like an angel in disguise. They were making Thanksgiving dinner, it looked very cozy. Her dad is super cool too. Also very cheery and outgoing. He met my mom, which im really haply about. Im glad they take me as an extension of the family like that, because i see them the same way. We havent knowm eachother for long, but they are definatelly like my 2nd family. Ive always wanted to have a younger sister, and my bsf is certainly the best person to have. In general. Im glad she opens up to me. I admire her alot, and she was one of the best things that happened to me my entire lifetime,so im happy that i can provide her with a safe space to talk things through. I love her dearly and i want to do everything in my will to heal her soul where it has been wronged, bwcause she deseeves the best in life, hinestly.

Everyone of my friends do really. I told them this. I hope they saw my words to be true, and take them to heart, because im honest. Writing this feels like putting my fingers on knives, because im very shy, but i have to tell them all how much i love them. I need to reassure them that they are loved and appreciated, because i never had that. I never had reassurance, i never had that support, so i want to provide it to them. To love them the way I havent been, love them the way they deserve to be loved. I cant honestly believe that they are real, that my life righr now is real.

All my life ive honestly lived in a daze, in a flash. I was at the pit bottom of my trail, a shell of a human being. And while im regaining my sences slowly, i still do feel like this, all the time. I cant accept the fact that all of the sudden, my life has gone from misery to comfort and joy.

My past has stripped me from all emotion really, i pile everything up and hang it to dry until it hits me like a train and i completely shut off and distance myself.

Well thats dialed dowm now, bevause of them. And i still cant fully adjust to this change. Being loved like this has hinestly been such a distant thing to me all my life, so i often need to ground myself and give myself time to realise that its all real, all in present time.

I do really love my friends.

Im exited for tomorrow to come.

Close entry: 20:11

[zeenbean]

yapping about school, again

a lot as happened since my last ranty post, like that i have gotten B on my final grade from english(as a secondary language) but nobody really follows this blog so much so they would actually know what am i talking about.

in multiple posts ive been whining about my secondary laungage english teacher bcs shes dumb af and doesnt even know english past average 9yo vocabulary(except the slang💀) so when i use my fancy fancy worlds on her(telling her that taking drgs is NOT silly) she ofc gets mad. and that is, how she made my final grade from exact 9 marks from the second semester. 2 of them were group activities(two A`s), 5 quick tests(one A, one B& three Ds) and the rest unit reviews(one A and one B, but the b was my falut bcs im not gonna remember in front of what words u put the, a or nothing. but that were the weird ones like i dunno i cant remember bcs the only ones i remember are the ones that are obvious ones help) im a person who to function needs to have EVERYTHING planned. also when the teachers are all extremely chaotic i cant focus when i have to sit in place where i dont normally sit(i sit there for four years there, last place on the left but idk how other classrooms are build so it differs) its even worse. like this btch will be like so okey i know i said were gonna write the test tomorrow but i dont feel like it so were gonna do it today and than theres me who had planned to study today afternoon bcs it works for this types of tests best for me, also i had to practice on my saxophone yesterday bcs i ALSO had some MORE IMPORTANT EXAMS so now the whole thing is messed up & i have the saxophone exam today but im gonna be stressed form this test and it will completely ruin my day and maybe even a week.

im gonna browse more on the school system in hour school bcs its really messed up. like i wanted to transfer for this year but some therapist-not-therapist who is payed by the school told my mum that that is a not good idea bcs "every school has its dark side" yes. i know. but i asked my friend a simple question. "do your teacher provide materials from the lessons ex. presentations" and she was like EVERY TEACHER DOES THAT. HEAVEN ON EARTH.

like yeah only three from 20+ teachers does that in our school. and were really small school, only one building, the friends school has SIX.

it kinda is related to this and its really me problem but i struggle to keep writing notes in class. like one time i couldnt even get myself to hold the pencil bcs i had a bit dirty notebook(my bottle cracked and everything got wet and as it dried i had stains. so i couldnt write notes in the name notebook but i didnt wanted to buy a new one so i just wrote it who knows where and i was always loosing it. but i feel that the whole idea of notes doest suit me and some other people. i can pay attention, can write it dow beautifully like when i want to i can have the best looking notes in class but WHAT FOR. like it genuinely doesnt help me a bit. i can rewrite it like with the blurting technique but i still forget everything the next hour. and that isnt even with notes, thats with textbooks, some like non fiction books(i love books about like space or sum but i remember shit. like i can remember that on the page five there was this "in some insignificant galaxy(milky way) in some insignificant arm of the galaxy(orion arm)(btw i had to search it up bcs i dont know the exact term in english and it hurts my soul that there in the recommended questions there was "are we in the milky way rn)were rotating around some insignificant star(the sun) and living on some insignificant planet(the earth)" but i dont remember ANYTHING ELSE. LIKE THIS RANDOM THING BUT NOT THE REST OF THE A LOT MORE SIGNIFICANT THINGS?(if anyone recognizes the quote pls don judge me im halp asleep)

okey im not gonna get mad by my inability to absorb information

than when the teacher doesnt even want to help me by giving me like the presentation or like the book where they take these exercises from than its har to be motivated to learn and like in some cases even not able to properly learn the things. i have a friend(that one who i asked about her school) who i literally wish i had her brain bcs were on about the same level of inteligence but she can absorb information like a average human being. like pls help me.

but back to the teacher, there is this one who is really weird, he doesnt really like me but when you email him about anything related to geography he will explain, give sources and you can always ask for like a graded presentation(kinda rare there for someone to give you request presentation). thank you for being the most insufferable person on the whole school but who somehow does his job.

i shouldn't even talk about our principal who is like the embodiment of satan and god of gaslighting in one if someone like that exists. bro will be like "were the BEST school in town!" and than hires a known person who hase fake degrees and has been accused of being predatory towards students. like bro pick i side.(fun fact i one time i got so mad that i went to his facebook under a fake name and started to like spit some real good arguments under his homophobic and transphobic posts and one time i got extra silly and made a bit personal joke and he blocked me💔)

like im so so so much sorry for his ELEVEN FREAKING KIDS and especially the girls bcs he said(in a very insignificant physics lesson) that theyre mistakes. bro how can you be so fucking disgusting towards your own children that you sometimes even bring to school. in front of the whole class.

hey so this is probably it bcs im getting more and more tired and tomorrow i have to wake up really early

also i know my spelling here is completely diabolical but who cares int the internet does anybody here seen th post about how bad english technically doesnt exist? think of that now

[green-pine]

Oh man, its been a while since ive done an actual post.

What can i say, so many things happened, this year seems to be engolfed in sadness so far.

There have been some nice things happened to me, but they were all a bit off.

Ive spend the majority of the 2024 with a guy, someone who hurt me in the past, yk, loneliness makes you go back to bad people if you are not strong enough to avoid that. It was nice at first, then everything fell off again, i guess some people never change...how foolish of me to think it would have been different this time.

Well, lesson learned, it hurt less compared to the first time he hurt me, but at least i can say that at the begiggning, it felt good to have someone again.

Now its summer, well, its almost the end of it, time freezes when its summer, but i cant escape life forever.

Now that everything's over, im forced to think about what to do with my life, i feel lost and i keep distractjng myself to avoid thinking about it.

Idk what it is, but i cant seem to be able to enjpy life anymore, everything feels like a disappointment: people, my supposed art career, living in general.

I dont do it naturally, im only 20 now, what will i be when im 30? Will i ever be 30? Life is getting too serious and im not ready for it. I feel trapped in my own mind, like i dont belog to the phisical word.

Where should i find my purpose? What is it that will give me real peace in life? I think i worry too much in general, too much about what other people think of me too.

Im sad, i dont like my life and idk how to change it, i tried sometime, even right now, but its all a big lie to fit in, to find something im not really looking for.

I just want to die, but i cant do it, so i simply live and hope for the best? Hope for something good. So many different things can happen by doing the same things over and over again.

Who knows whats gonna happen in these next months, im scared and sad, but im also curious, i cant stop being that.

Ill find a way i guess, since i cant kill myself, thats the only solution.

[h4ppydevil]

6:30 am.

It's one day before my one year anniversary. I altered my sleep schedule so I've been asleep when they are awake, so when they sleep I am alone and may enjoy some solitude. It's February now. I keep getting anxious as the days go on, I'm not ready for things to change. I know the minute the day happens I will lose them and Ive fucked up because I've grown attached.

It's one day before our one year anniversary. I'm sure once my life is cleared and you're long gone, I will reread this. Right now I am somewhat happy, fighting about things that don't even matter just to cling on to some form of control over my life. There is nothing I want more than control. I feel useless.

I look at you in your sleep and you are heavenly. I love you for your insecurities, your mistakes and your wrongdoings. Your mistakes are what make you human and I'm so glad to exist in a time we can coexist.

In the worst time in my life I met someone I very much connect with. I know you are not permanent in my life but a lesson but oh how you fill me with such love.

Im scared. I'm not ready to lose everything yet. I'm sorry for fucking up in my past that you join me when I have to face consequences.

to me: I hope you continue to love. To live. To enjoy. I hope you don't lose yourself in your head. I hope you fix what I can't right now. Please make us happy.

[johanna-swann]

I've been discussing how we would rank the Star Wars Episodes with one of my friends, we watched a film critic's take on it too, I asked my brother and cousin about it and it seems like everyone has a different opinion. My friend really like the sequels, my brother prefers the prequels and my cousin stans the original trilogy.

Eventually I always come back to the conclusion that it's not about actual quality. All three Star Wars trilogies have their ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses. Which of the weaknesses you're happy to bear and which ones you can't stand is personal preference.

The original trilogy often gets more nostalgia points than it probably deserves. Yes, it's cinema history and I kinda love the low-key trashy vibe, the characters are pretty basic yet very iconic, but the pacing. Oh my. I don't mind a little slow burn (Andor did this brilliantly), but there are often spans when for 20 or 30 minutes nothing happens. Then again the important moments often come on so suddenly and happen so fast that it feels almost anticlimactic. And Episode VI? Everybody complained when the sequel trilogy came along and copied Episode IV, but Episode VI does the exact same thing and it's fine?

All in all iconic, loveable movies (especially Episode V), but they do have substantial weaknesses (especially Episode VI).

The prequels are often more appreciated by younger fans, hated on by og trilogy fans and they have a completely different vibe. Less space-magic fairytale, more political intrigue and tragedy. This trilogy has a very low low and a very high high.

Episode I wasn't super exciting, but kinda cute. I love that we meet Anakin so young, Darth Maul is pretty cool in this movie and Qui Gon and Obi Wan's relationship is really touching. Episode II was a dumpster fire. Everything it tried to do was done 10000 times better in Clone Wars. Episode III then was really great again and very emotional. Was Anakin's fall to the dark side a bit sudden, yes. Some of the dialogue is still very cringe worthy. But this is the movie that gives you the real classic tragedy stuff. You're rooting for Anakin, hoping he'll come through when you already know where his story ends.

The sequel trilogy is a tough one and is strongly disliked by all kinds of Star Wars fans, but sometimes I think people are too harsh and unforgiving with it. Episode VII isn't bad, quite good even, the visuals are great (compared to prequel cgi...), it introduces a bunch of new characters really well and those characters are so interesting. I love the main trio so much. It felt in parts very Disney and the plot was copy pasted from Episode IV, but as I said, that's basically what Episode VI did too. It was a solid start, then came the problems.

I didn't mind Finn going of with Rose in Episode VIII all that much. It wasn't really that important to the main plot, but it showed that while the galaxy suffers there's also war profeteers living their best life. Both Rose and Finn have never really known anything but war and suddenly they're confronted with this high society living in luxury at the cost of innocent lives. I also wasn't annoyed with Rey trying to save Ben yet, that came later. Poe's story on the other hand was complete nonsense. Leia's friend (I forgot her name) risked the entire rebellion because? She wanted to teach Poe a lesson about patience? And Luke would never, ever, not for a moment raise his lightsaber against a sleeping child. Again, the visuals were great. That last battle with the red and white landscape looked amazing. There are worse Star Wars movies.

Episode IX is where it completely fell apart. Somehow Palpatine returned. Rey is his granddaughter. After not only having killed his father, having tortured Rey and friends and having declared himself the new supreme leader of the galaxy, Rey is still trying to save Kylo? Kylo made his fucking choice. Several times actually. The last hour or so it felt like watching a pingpong match. "Oh, Palpatine returns, but Rey is on her way! Oh, he has a fleet. Don't worry, the rebels are coming! But there's too few of them! Nevermind, they got backup. But Rey is still losing against Palpatine! But what is that? Kylo Ren with a steel chair!" It was like a drawn out back-forth-back-forth which then climaxed in Kylo Ren kissing Rey back to life? I think the only way to enjoy this movie is to be a Kylo Ren fan. Which I am not. So yeah, I can't say anything good about Episode IX. Except the trio looked hot. Not even Episode II sucked this hard.

This rant got out of hand, but oh well. My point stands. All three trilogies have at least one rather strong movie and one not all that great, pretty bad actually movie. Og has pacing trouble, prequel has dialogue cringe, sequel lost the plot halfway through. At least my friend, brother, cousin, the film critic and I all agreed that Rogue One is an unexpected masterpiece and that the worst Star Wars movie of all was Solo.

[sea0726]

Airplanes (My Remix)

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars i could really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now

all i do is look up at the stars and make empty wishes i know only we can write our future and erase our past but everything is moving so fast i cant hold on much longer i really wish i could be stronger im a two face yea i ll admit im all messed up my personality is split in front of my friends im all laughter and smiles i go them believing i got a fresh style but behind my façade im all emo my self esteem has never been so low i dont wanna cry anymore but this shits happened before i wanna hide from the world and i never want to be found i want to be free and not bound its not fair living this lie i shouldnt even try life is nothing but a disappointment you got a lesson to give me make an appointment i know the lectures and stories but yet im still filled with sadness and worries what is it that you want from me im already so damn crazy

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars i could really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now

i can only dream of a better tomorrow but when it comes it too is filled with sorrow i attract the worst things in life i just wanna reach the edge and dive swim forever in an endless pool where diving is the only rule yes im afraid i admit but to society my soul i wont submit i may not be content with how things are but i dont know how to change things all the good things seem to be so far why couldnt wishes really come true for a happy ending theres nothing i wouldnt do there arent many shooting stars if only you could make wishes on moving cars can we make a car a shooting star i can beg and plead for a wish to come true there are some things i wish i already knew like spending the night looking at the sky was a waste of time i get home and im acting like a mime with nothing to say all i can do is walk away

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars i could really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now

it was best to let my old ways go but im still sad it was so long ago but til this day it makes me mad knowing changing didnt change a thing my life isnt better but because of all these tears my pillow has never been wetter i cant erase these memories though i wish i could i did everything i should and yet im still unhappy all my answers are snappy theres no reason to smile living each day isnt worth while everyone always said to reach for the sky but im syill like 'why even try' ill never be tall enough to do so ive been  through a lot what else is there to know the world spins on its side we're along just for the ride i still wanna hide somethere far aaway and lose count of every passing day let the world  keep spinning ill never be the one winning i have nothing else to give out get on rooftops and my wish ill shout

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars i could really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now 

[jj30ngk]

a letter i will never send (P ver.)

P, i just wish i could express how much i love you. i miss you so much and my heart hurts every time i remember how we cant be together. you were the first person who made me feel wanted and accepted. you were my first love. a day doesnt go by when i dont remember the beautiful memories we made. i cherish them in my heart forever. i hate that something like this had to come between us. but its just something we cant change even if we wanted to. and thats what i hate about fate. i promise that when you come back, i will make sure to make it all worth it. right now you are on a flight to seoul, and i know youre tired, its a 15 hour flight and im probably the last thing on your mind. but its the opposite for me. for the past two weeks, ive been thinking about you non stop. the no contact wasnt terrible, it was something i was able to manage, but the fact that you didnt reach out to me was killing me. becasue i would do anything to just feel your embrace. your kiss and your touch. i just miss you so so much. and i wish i could tell you every day without feeling guilty about it. because i know you want me to move on, i know you want me to find someone else. but how can i? when youre all ive ever wanted in a person. everything i needed and didnt know i was missing in my life.  

i never cry easily. but i remembered the first time i cried in front of you. it was april 22nd and we had just gotten back from western playland. i was laying down with my head on your lap and music was playing in the background. you were playing with my hair and caressing my face. i kept staring at you because you were looking so handsome. and then i realized “a few weeks from now, i’ll never have him like this ever again, it’ll all be over” and i started to cry. from then on, i cried almost every time i saw you, because i knew it was inevitable. i dont know how you didnt get tired of me crying. 

i realized that i cried of sadness, because this, whatever i had with you, was all i ever wanted. it felt free and like we were in control of our own lives. and i only had this feeling for 43 days. not even two full months. how can a feeling so happy not last forever ? 

in a way, i wanted to tell myself that this was another lesson sent from the universe. a lesson telling how real love feels like. but how can this be a lesson? if it was all destined to happen in just that month, how will it be in september when you come back? will things change? will we become closer? further apart? if im being honest, im all for whatever happens. i just want to see you again. one more time so that i could get that closure. seeing you is all i want this very moment. and i hope you feel the same. these next few months will be very hard for us to communicate, but i promise that i will continue to miss you and think about you everyday. 

until then, p. i love you. 

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 8

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: None in this chapter

--

Later that night you stand on the roof, overlooking the property to the compound. You start thinking about everything that has happened over the last week, no the last few months. Before you can think of too much, you hear the door. You turn around and see Bucky looking at you.

“Hi,” you say softly, giving him a small smile.

Bucky sees the heartbreak in your face regardless, and he just wants to die because he knows it’s because of him. “Hi my--,” he stops himself because he knows you don’t want to hear him call you “my love”. 

“Thank you for meeting me. I know you probably don’t want to see me,” Bucky said sadly.

“Bucky... Nat told me that it wasn’t true. What I heard. That Dot planned all this to separate us, and it worked. But... I can’t help it that my heart breaks every time I think about what I heard. You...” you choke on a sob. 

“She made it sound like you were making love to her. I heard your moans. I heard you say you love her. You said her name!” you yell and start to sob, collapsing on the ground.

Bucky runs up to you and wraps you in his arms. “I’m so sorry sweetheart. I’m so sorry you had to hear that, but I swear to God, on everything in my life, I would never do that to you. I love you with all my heart. I love you, Y/N. You’re it for me,” he says against to the top of your head.

You pull yourself away from him slightly and lean your forehead against his, “I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you enough to realize she planned this,” you said.

“No, you have nothing to be sorry about. This is all my fault. I encouraged her in the beginning. Dot has always gotten what she wanted, and I should have guessed she wouldn’t have gone down quietly. But I promise I will make her pay,” Bucky says angrily.

“I don’t know how to feel about this. I mean I know I have to keep hiding, but after hearing what I heard, real or not, I know my imagination with run away with me,” you say sadly.

Bucky looks at you, and brushes some hair out of your face. You lean in and kiss him softly, but with passion. “I love you Bucky,” you say.

“I love you too. And you don’t have to worry, I’m not going to sleep with her,” he says.

“Nat said you have to seduce her. How are you going to without--” Bucky interrupted you quickly.

“Baby, I. Will. Not. Sleep. With. Her. I promise. I will not let it come to that. Hell I won’t even kiss her. She needs to learn a lesson, and I will make sure she does, without hurting you any further,” he said before kissing you softly on the lips.

You pull him close and hug him tightly. Suddenly a thought comes to your head. You look up at Bucky and give him a smirk. Did you just come up with your own plan?

Yeah, you did.

--

You walk into the lab where you knew Tony would be. Tony looks up at you with a smile, “Hey kiddo. How are you holding up?” he asks.

You shrug in response, “How would you feel if you fell for a trap that separated you from Pepper, and then had to watch Pepper seduce the asshole that separated you, all from the shadows so they think you are gone,” you ask.

Tony sighed, “I’m just sorry I showed her anything that had to do with FRIDAY. I blame myself.”

“Tony, how would you know that she would pick up things so quickly? Please don’t blame yourself,” you say.

Tony gives you a smile, “Well if you need any help from me, please ask, because I want to make up for my stupidity,” he says.

You smile, “Well that’s actually why I am here. I kinda need you to throw a huge party.”

--

Chapter 7 / Chapter 9

I know its another short chapter, but I hope you are ready for what’s coming. I’m excited. What do you think the reader has planned? Feedback is appreciated.

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[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

thoughtfulposting about some art i made recently (readmore cus long)

this year i rly wanted to draw madoka for her birthday in a way that represents the frequency of self actualized libra, as a test for myself like how well can i put down the energy i sense visually, but also, to help myself understand my own motivations at this point in my life. i watched madoka magica for the first time in 2012 when i was 18 so its been w me for 10 years now. there’s a lot of ancient text posts scattered across my old tumblrs where im ranting about how i feel so useless and empty like madoka, i have nothing to offer except giving all of my self up to the people in my life. i see it in so many libra types, suns moons risings whatever, its like you want nothing more than to be a side character in your own life. the sun is in it’s detriment when it’s in libra because it makes your ego so weak, it often takes years to even gain the self awareness that you accidentally merge with everyone you care about to the extent that the thought of being You is terrifying. it wasnt even like anyone had to force me to be their sidekick. it just happened naturally, it was what i wanted, i was always known as someone’s best friend or partner, it’s what i was comfortable with but.. over time it wore me down, when i was alone i’d lose my mind, i grew so insecure that i had no means of self sufficiency. since the time i was 18 i slowly became more aware of the way i was sacrificing too much of myself in a way that was ultimately unproductive to everyone.. i had to cycle through the same lessons over n over again before it really REALLY sunk in. speaking of cycles, i am almost done with my saturn return, which is the first cycle of saturn that takes around 29.5 years. my saturn is in aquarius, almost exactly trine my libra sun and jupiter. saturn is also the ruling planet of my chart, being that i am capricorn rising. its a time of high pressure. everything i was doing that was  unsustainable has completely crumbled around me. i am forced to develop into my own person and for all the pain, it is giving me an unusual sense of gratitude.. so i knew that when i drew madoka i wanted to draw her by herself. and i wanted her to look strong.. i kept thinking of the world card, the way it’s representative of wholeness, fulfillment, completion of cycles. the way she’s looking back into the past w compassion as she steps forward into the future. i wasnt sure though, i was trying to come up w other ideas too. i had just started listening to bladee spiderr for the first time as i was looking up pictures of the world card. suddenly as understatement is playing it clicks w me the lyrics im hearing,,

(Gravity very up, won the World Cup) (What? What? What? What?) F the world, what? F the world, what? What? What? What? What? (Gravity very up, won the World Cup) (What? What? What? What?) (F the world, what? F the world, what?)

i just kept hearing him repeat “The World” and it felt so synchronized like it was the first time id ever heard that song, i am hearing these lyrics for the first time as im staring at the world card which i had just searched up right before it got to that part in the song. it felt like a message T-T and then this as the outro,

Never read the reason as a sign Keep this little secret in your mind Final destination is the sky Caterpillar dreamt that it could fly

yep OK i hear you loud & clear, im drawing madoka as the world! it was a cathartic thing to draw, more than most of my drawings. i cried a lot during the process, thinking about how far ive come, how much ive evolved from the scared fragile 18yr old madokaform i once was. its not like im doing amazing now but i know who i am and i am working hard to create my own purpose that will unfold just for me. this blog has helped me a lot to feel like i can explore my own world. ofc the nature of this blog is still somewhat reliant on input from others.. but i like that.. i think there’s good and distinguishable boundaries and like. this time last year i was posting to no one and it was basically like that for 6 months. and id do it again! because i post to post, whether people reciprocate or not, does not dictate my actions. it’s freeing.. it really is great though, the little tumblr community on here, it’s incredibly sweet and i love u all a lot. it’s really helping me get thru the crumbling period of my life. if you even read all this, thank you! i wanted to write this for catharsis. i want to be the hero of my story like aries bladee. yep thats my ramblings for today.

Your favourite songs getting old, the same story being told Over and over and over again Too many times in a row, the same lesson I know the same lesson I know I know, I know To holy lights we exposed We start shining in gold Golden, golden, golden

[jeongvision]

🗣 TEACHER!AU WITH JOHNNY

PART TWO! LET’S GET IT!

pairing. history teacher! seo johnny ✗ english teacher! fem! reader (ft. english teacher! mark lee)

genre. fluff, slight humor, high school teacher au, non idol au

warnings. some cursing and super soft hours after this huhu <3 and not proofread but we can discuss that later

author’s note. this is an continuation to this blurb! this could be read as a standalone but regardless i hope this brought a smile to your face bc it certainly did for me <3

You should’ve seen it coming. Damn it, it was right in front of you all along, so why didn’t you see it in the first place?

You and your students have been grinding nonstop for the past couple weeks to prep them for the AP English IV exam. There was a time where you requested two days off from work for emergency purposes (thankfully it was nothing too major) leaving you to ask your coworker- Mark, another teacher in your department -to help fill in your students on materials needed for the exam.

Everything was perfectly fine when you came back, your coworker going beyond your expectations in taking care of your students. However, one thing you failed to take notice of is the recent changes the college board made in their AP exams, including the course you teach. After reviewing some of the revisions they made, you felt your heart drop.

They’ve added three additional sections to the exam, meaning an additional two weeks is needed to cover the materials for your students to grasp some sort of mastery on those concepts.

You have four weeks left until the exam, and you’re already compacted those remaining weeks with other necessary materials for the exam.

“Fucking hell,” you murmured under your breath.

Running your hand through your hair, you let out a tired sigh. It’s already bad enough that you have to work overtime in making revisions to your lesson plans. However, it’s worse to see the crestfallen looks on your students’ faces when you dropped the news on them. They’re already tired enough from dealing with other classes and extracurricular activities. On top of that, you know most of them are stressing about their acceptance letters from their colleges.

You dropped the pen in your hand and rubbed both of your eyelids. Relax, y/n you told yourself. Don’t worry, you can do this. You heard the door behind you open, meaning someone walked inside the teacher’s lounge.

“Hey, y/n. What’s up- Woah, woah, WOAH! What do we have here?” the person exclaimed. You let out a chortle. You could distinctively point that voice out from anywhere, and you’re sure as hell that the state of your workspace is nothing short of hell. Taking your hands away from your face, you crossed your arms and leaned back a little in your seat to look up at the latter.

“Well, hello to you too, Mark,” you chuckled. You both gave each a fist bump before he sits down in the empty chair beside you.

“What the hell happened here?” He grabs some of the documents splayed out before you, eyes scanning through the materials that you’ve scribbled on in the past hour. “Wait, what? They added new things to the AP exam?”

You sighed and nodded dejectedly. “Yep. And somehow, I gotta squeeze all those materials into my lesson plans before they take it next month.” You rested your arms on the table and rested your head on top of them. “At this point, I just want to light myself on fire and call it a day.”

Mark lets out a cackle besides you, prompting you to smile. You’ll never mention it to him, but his laughs and smiles are always infectious. It’s what makes him so well-known and loved in the English department in the first place, both faculties and students.

“Please don’t do that. We love you too much to let you do that to yourself,” he responded.

Sitting back up in your seat, you take a glance at the clock. Just four minutes before the section ends and you have to go back to teaching your classes again. You heard your coworker clear his throat, bringing you to face him.

“Do you need help with any of this?” he offered.

You shook your head. “No, it’s fine, Mark. I appreciate the offer but I don’t want to bother you with my workload.”

“No, really. It’s fine, y/n. I only teach honors and they’re all pretty ahead in their assignments, so I have some free time if you’d like.”

Just like that, you swear you could see a halo shining above his figure, your world much brighter and clearer than it was this morning. “Oh my god, yes please.” You shifted through your papers, searching the remnants of the piles before handing it over to him. “Can you please go through these and grade them for me? Here are the answer keys for them.” After debriefing him for that stack of papers, you gave him another one. “And for these, can you make some copies for me? I need them tonight so I can plan for tomorrow’s class.”

He listened attentively to your commands, taking a mental note and nodding each instruction given to him. “Okay, got it, y/n. I’ll get these done and hand them over by the end of the day.”

You’re gawking at him, surprised that your coworker is willing to lend you a helping hand. You could honestly cry out tears of joy right now, but timing refuses to let you do so as the bell rings, marking the end of a period. You both stood up in your seats and grabbed the papers on the table into a neat pile. You let out a content sigh as you both walked out the teacher’s lounge.

“Thank you so much, Mark. You’re the best,” you exhaled. Outside your classroom, you already see some students entering inside as you left it unlocked, free for them or your coworkers to enter as they pleased. You both stood next to its entrance before he shrugs his shoulders at you.

“Hey, I mean it’s what I do best, right? Being the best.”

You rolled your eyes and gave him a playful shove, earning a laugh from him. Saying goodbyes to one another, you walked inside your classroom. You nodded to the students present. “Afternoon, class,” you greeted.

“Good afternoon, Miss y/n!”

“Miss Y/n, there’s a bouquet of flowers on your desk,” one of your students called out. You raised an eyebrow. Flowers? Looking over to your desk, your student was certainly not lying and neither are your eyes. Perched in the middle of your desk lies a vase filled with varying colors of tulips. Petals are in full bloom and the stems are clipped uniformly. You walked over and saw a notecard attached to one of the flowers.

“Who is it from, Miss Y/n?”

“Yeah! Who got you flowers?”

You looked up and realized more of your students are present, capacity almost at its max. Class was starting soon so more and more are rushing in to see the surprise gift settled on your desk.

“Is it Mr. Kim in the science department? I saw you two walking together in the hallways last week.”

That assumption piqued your interest. “Wait, Mr. Kim? The physics teacher?” you asked. The student, Krystal, nodded, causing you to huff incredulously. “Krystal, please. We’re merely just friends.”

Another student chimes in. “Friends don’t lock arms with each other at work.”

“Jongin, please. Your last girlfriend only stayed with you for a month and she started dating an upperclassman a week later.”

“Hey—”

“Guys, calm down,” you interjected. “As much as I love you crazy bunch, I am still your teacher. Therefore, what occurs in my personal life stays private, and how much I am willing to share with you all lies in my discretion.” But unbeknownst to you, one of your students sneaks behind you to get a glance of the card, discreetly reading the contents:

‘The best deserves nothing less than the best.

Yours truly.’

The student, Luna, almost lets out a squeal. “Guys! Guys!” You jumped in shock, startled by her sudden presence and her high-pitched voice. “I think it’s Mr. Lee! The other English teacher!”

All attention is now on her, excitement filled in the air.

“Mr. Lee? The one that teaches honors?”

“The one with boba eyes?”

“The one that laughs at everything?”

Luna nods to each question, visibly thrilled with the subtle jump in her steps as she walked towards her classmates. “Yes! I heard Miss y/n calling him the best earlier and Mr. Lee joked about being the best! And in the card, it said ‘the best deserves nothing less than the best’.” The bell rang, marking the beginning of the period, but that didn’t stop your students from chattering with happiness, faces completely wiped from fatigue and stress of the upcoming exams. Some students entered your classroom late to the discussion, prompting other students to fill them in only to also be electrified by the ‘news’.

You run a hand through your hair again and sighed. Not this again, you thought to yourself. But just before you could jump in to stop all this chaos, you heard someone knock on your open door, diverting your attention and your class’ to the intruder.

“Well, good afternoon, class,” the person chuckled. “Why’s it so boisterous here? Did I miss a party or something?”

Of course, what better person to appear now of all times? It was none other than the infamous history teacher, Johnny Seo. You rolled your eyes before laughing. Coincidence, my ass.

“Mr. Seo! Someone gave Miss Y/n a bouquet of tulips! She has a secret admirer!” Luna stated.

He raised an eyebrow at her direction. “Oh, does she now?” He looks back at you with a grin. “Did Miss Y/n find out who this secret admirer is?”

“We think it’s Mr. Lee from honors English.”

“And what makes you think so?”

“Because we heard her call him the best earlier before class started, and the notecard called her the best.”

“Coincidence? I think not,” Jongin nodded.

All of the students followed along in unison, profoundly proud of their assumptions that left you shaking your head in disbelief. Surely, you had a smile on your face, but it’s surprising to know how your students are able to make such large assumptions based on groundless evidence. You sat down in your chair and turned on your computer, getting your lesson plan ready for the period as your students entertained themselves with Mr. Seo.

Johnny takes it all in, nodding to all of them before walking up behind your desk. “Well, I think it’s safe to say that you don’t pester too much to Miss y/n about it. You know how much she likes to keep her life private.” While you were browsing through your saved files and pulling up powerpoints, you felt the latter tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Right, Mrs. Seo?”

And just like that, your hands stilled. Wait, did he just—

“Hold up..”

“What?”

“Did you just—”

“Mrs. Seo?”

“Huh?”

You squeezed your eyelids shut. Oh my god, here we go again—

“YOU GUYS ARE MARRIED??”

jeongvision’s milestone event!

[atherix0]

im finally reading the update because its lunch time and i have much to scream about and I will in fact be doing the screaming because AH

Starting this off with Scar and Mumbo being CUTE - please understand i am reading this in public and it is taking every fiber of my being now to squee and yell at everything going on oh my god? Mumbo's collection of Fae books? Mumbo and Scar vibing together at Night because Grian is asleep? AH

Also Tubbo being the bee that near [across from?] Mumbo's glyph is so cute just AH and the fact that mumbo, looking at the glyphs, is like "You know that pin ive been carrying around with me I should put it closer to my person somehow yes"

AND THEN CLEO MY BELOVED APPEARS ahhhhh love them. I mean hate the *news* they have oh my god but i love them. Also I am gonna fist fight the council in your story for everyone oh my GOD - this has the vibes of like, in mafia stories when they accidentally leave a paper trail and its like "ASDFGHJKHGFD YOU IDIOTS WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

Oh my god and Mumbo and Grian really chose the WORST time for to discuss Scar yall he's LEAVING I need you to STOP HIM or maybe o with him I havent decided which one's a better idea tbh though given that whole 'grians not a watcher yet' and 'a coven is only as strong as their leader *says the man who is threatening when he's laying on the ground, injured*" I think they'll be fine. Ya know. 👀👀between the Fae and the whole Diety Waiting To Be Awakened thing

GIVE HIM THE ENGAGEMENT GIFT. GIVE IT TO SCAR. G I V E I KNOW YOU GUYS WANNA WAIT FOR A GOOD TIME BUT THERE'S NEVER GONNA BE A GOOD TIME AT THIS RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE GIVE IT TO HIM BEFORE SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENS THAAAAAANKS

Also grian calling Mumbo out about the bite scar? I have been WAITING oh my god Mumbo how the hell did you think no one noticed.

Ahhhh the mirroring happening in the market rn? Incredible. Its the same but its so different. AND SCAR IS SO SMART AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH also Mumbo Time Mumbo Time Mumbo Time Mumbo Ti-

OH MY GOD SCAR IS A FUCKING GENIUS I love this man. He is hot. Grian's right, and I'm a damn lesbian. Reading him taking on an entire coven by himslef is incredible??? Also the fact that Mumbo is just sat there *waiting* sir you are literally protecting your mate 'wait till a better time' my ASS.

OH BOY BOY BOY LETS GO mmm I love when Mumbo gets to fight frankly its great mm mm mm OHOHO grian. That touch of past there? I have a feeling im gonna need to throttle you whenever we get to THAT lmao. But also LOOK AT HIM ACTUALLY FIGHTING HAAAAAAAAAA

YES SOMEONE IS GETTING PULLED INTO THE BOATEM HOLE I HAVE BEEN *WAITING* its just such a good use of the boatem hole frankly FALL INTO THE VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOID. I havent even watched season 8. I do appreciate Grian's Gay Thoughts whenever Mumbo is fighting 10/10

im sorry grian WHAT are you remembering EXCUSE ME listen here if pearl is dead you are going to be getting some WORDS

Oh my god using the glyph is genius but also if i was scar i would ALSO be like "GRIAN WHAT ARE YOU DOOOOOOOOOING" also just like, obsessed with this vampire lesson occurring mid battle as Grian is just like "I'm gonna get the lord to blast this way and hope mumbo can get us out of the way" which i mean it WORKED but JESUS

OH BOY OH BOY OHO BOY GRIAN WHATCHA DOING THERE CHAMP

Scar now is not the time to ask what they're doing i swear. theres a lord DYING

The three of them having this conversation in a barrier bubble thing in an alleyway really is something. ALSO. MUMBO. MUMBO YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT. *MUMBO*. "Wait when did boatem get a coven" BABE YOURE THE ONLY VAMPIRE. PLEASE. WITH YOUR BRAIN.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ITS GETTING SO CLOSE I NEED THEM TO KISS I KNOW WHY THEY HAVENT BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and now i go back to writing my novel as if I didn't just treat myself for writing i havent even done yet lmao

hjfgsdjkghjfdgjkfd I hope you had a good day <3

JKFHSJKHFSJK I love them <3 When Grian is asleep who else to keep a Vampire company but the Elf who only sleeps like every five days <3 gfdjkgjkfdlf

Yess it's on the other side of Scar's wrist from Mumbo's rose <3 hjgkfk HAHA YEAH I'M SURE THAT'S NOT GONNA BE CONVENIENT SOON <3

CLEO <3 Cleo is beloved and I will fight for them, as soon as they found out just how much the Purists know they ran immediately to inform Scar <3 They care about that half-Elf <3 The Council is largely made of self-important dumbtrucks </3 There is a reason Mumbo has very little respect for them jfgdslfdsjh and they may or may not get told off BIG TIME for this <3

LMAO YEAH IKR Grian over here like "oh wow okay so this sounds like Scar's saying goodbye and tomorrow will be the last time I see him??" and then finally talking to Mumbo jhfsdjkghjds JHKFHSJKFHSKJLJDK ahahaha <3 Oh indeed :))

He thought he got off scotch free BUT NO MUMBO GRIAN SAW THAT HE KNOWS lmao <3 Scar might be oblivious but Grian can read you like an open book <3

YASSSSSS I fucking LOVE mirroring in fics <3 callbacks and bookends and just HJHJFHJS I'm feral for it fr Scar was like "yeah I know they know who I am I know how this is probably ending and this time I take no prisoners" and HJFSJKHGFVJKS all the traps <3 A little unhinge for the Elf man, a little reminder that this man is not fully Human pls <3 jkgfdklhjfkdlk ikr like-

I LOVE mumbo getting to fight <3 hehehehe crumbs of Grian history? Crumbs of Grian history <3 YAASSSSSSS them all showing off their fighting skills <3

YASSSSS from the moment I introduced the Boatem Hole to the fic I've been waiting to toss someone in <3 I loved season 8 so much Boatem my beloved <3 Grian has gay thoughts all the time but the moment Mumbo's claws come out and he gets to fighting they triple <3

:)))

Scar be like BIRDIE WHAT THE FU- Ahaha it was such a risky plan but he trusted Mumbo and Scar both so much <3 They were quick but stupid but see them dodge THIS when they have no helpful magic <3

HEHEHEE :)))

LMAO they're all full of bad timing <3

Grian agrees, how strange <3 they make quite a sight lmao LMAO YEAH THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT GRIAN AND SCAR WERE THINKING Mumbo never even considered for one second that he has a Coven now and you can bet he's not gonna stop thinking about it now because it answers so many question lmao <3

I PROMISE YOU WILL BE SATISFIED SOON <3 NOT SOON ENOUGH BUT <3

hahaha well now there's another fic to treat yourself with so <3