#truly i did not think i had the physical or mental strength to do it

[supersonicgf99]

well moving everything i owned into storage required six hours four uber rides there four delayed bus x tram rides back and it rained 90% of the time including five minutes of ice pellets bc there was a hailstorm BUT!!!! i did it!!!!!

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Mozus Trein - Strict Suit Vignette

"Youngsters these days..."

[Sports Field]

Trein: 1, 2, 3, 4… 5, 6, 7, 8…

Vargas: Trein-sensei, you're not counting loud enough! With training that feeble, your muscles won't feel your passion!

Trein: Don't be absurd, there would be no difference in my muscle strength simply by raising my voice.

Trein: Furthermore, I have no need to build muscle, anyway. I am simply hoping to loosen my stiff body.

Vargas: Yeah, but the other day, I heard you saying to yourself about how you wished you could move as easily as you did when you were younger…

Vargas: So, how is it? Do you like the special "Smile-All-Day-Long Training Regimen" I came up for you?

Vargas: I bet your muscles are squealing with joy!

Trein: Is that what you named this regimen…? Although, I suppose I don't get the feeling that you are attempting to make a fool of me…

Trein: …I suppose I must admit that there have been some positive results.

Trein: At first, I had no confidence that you knew what you were doing… Ahem. Pardon. I must say, I've been feeling much better since starting these exercises.

Trein: Recently, I've been waking up much earlier than before, possibly due to my age.

Trein: Since Lucius is still fast asleep at that time, I could only bring myself to read books, or drink tea in bed…

Trein: Lightly exercising in the morning like this only benefits my body, and is a pleasant change. I thank you.

Vargas: Hahahah, I'm sure, I'm sure. You see, muscles really solve everything.

Trein: Everything? That seems to be a rather large overestimation.

Vargas: Is it, though? I mean, there's no point in just staying locked up indoors, is there?

Vargas: You should just toss your books and do more important things…

Vargas: …Ah.

Trein: Hmm. So, you're telling me that Ashton Vargas-sensei believes that books are useless?

Trein: Have you never learned anything from a book? Then I suppose you have an overwhelmingly brilliant mind.

Trein: If you truly are that wise and knowledgeable about everything…

Trein: I suppose I must have you teach me how to be a proper professor, as well as these exercises.

Vargas: Oh, really? I'll do my best.

Trein: I SAID "IF"!

Trein: My word… Now, I concede that in order live a long life, working on your physical health is just as important.

Trein: One requires strong legs to carry themselves far and wide in order to personally observe the knowledge this world has to offer.

Trein: However, the most vital object to a mage is knowledge. Knowledge is what allows our magic to grow even further!

Trein: You think books are nonsense? Youngsters these days… It would behoove you not to disrespect those who came before you.

Trein: It's because of instructors like you with that sort of mentality that we are falling behind Royal Sword Academy in terms of testing.

Trein: That academy is much more thorough than ours. Naturally, they are not only learning about recent developments.

Trein: At Royal Sword Academy, there is a course where the professor selects literature and reads it with the class, and has the students give their opinions on the piece…

Trein: The resulting discussions are fervent, and even I was astounded by the quality of their final reports at the end of the semester.

Trein: It is absurd to even consider getting rid of books. Our academy should follow in their footsteps.

Vargas: Wow, you sure know a lot about the way another school does things. …Oh, right!

Vargas: I think I heard about how when you were younger, you were hoping to work at Royal Sword Academy.

Trein: What? …Who told you that?

Vargas: The Headmage. I heard you've also applied multiple times even after being hired here.

Vargas: "Even though he has a perfectly good school here… How could he!?" he let slip once.

Trein: That man truly does not know how to keep his mouth shut…

Trein: Ahem. Well, I cannot deny that there was a time I had those thoughts.

Trein: With their shimmering white castle with a long history, it is an academic institution at its height.

Trein: That is why I believed that the Royal Sword Academy was exactly where I deserved to be…

Vargas: Aren't you giving them a little too much praise, there? C'mon, just one look at my muscles is enough to send those stuck-up guys scrambling!

Trein: Stop trying to solve everything with your muscles. As I keep telling you, that isn't the answer.

Trein: Well, anyway… All that is in the past. Now, I am thankful that I did not go to work for them.

Trein: …Since I wouldn't have the chance to see that school lose if I hadn't chosen to go to another academy.

Trein: One day, under my tutelage, Night Raven College will utterly defeat Royal Sword Academy soundly.

Trein: And I will see them regret their choice to not hire a professor as talented as I.

Vargas: Looks like Trein-sensei's the type to really hold grudges…

[Classroom]

Heartslabyul Student: Zzz… Zzz…

Lucius: Mrrrooowww～

[SLASH!]

Heartslabyul Student: GYAAAAAH!!!

Trein: What is all that noise!?

Heartslabyul Student: Ouch… Lucius scratched my cheek!!

Trein: What of it? I'm sure you were simply nodding off.

Lucius: Mrooow～

[Trein picks up Lucius]

Trein: That's right, good. That was a fitting punishment for the rude boy.

Trein: You should thank Lucius for waking you up. Now, we'll continue the lesson.

After class

Heartslabyul Student: I'M SO PISSED OFF～～～!

Heartslabyul Student: Yeah, sure, I fell asleep, but he didn't need to scratch me! It's not my fault that that old man's lesson's just too boring!

Octavinelle Student: So, my dad used go to Night Raven College too, right…

Octavinelle Student: He says that Trein's classes hasn't changed a bit. Said sometimes they'd even get the same worksheets as before.

Scarabia Student: No wonder it's so boring. The class is so old, it's basically fossilized!

Scarabia Student: From what I hear, Lucius was always watching the students like that during Trein's classes, too…

Scarabia Student: Looks like he really likes seein' us gettin' scolded by him.

Heartslabyul Student: The pair of them just piss me off… Think there's any time those two have ever been nice to a student?

Grim: HEY, TREIN!

Trein: What is it, do you have a question for me?

Grim: Nyahaha! I think you got something you wanna say to me, don'tcha?

Trein: Something to say to you, Grim? …I'm afraid nothing comes to mind. What are you talking about?

So, basically…

Grim: IT'S THIS! THE TEST WE JUST GOT HANDED BACK!! Grim: My score went up 10 points from last time! Ain't I amazin'? Grim: You better heap tons of praise on my genius awesomeness!

2. Yeah, I don't get it either.

Grim: What, you don't know either, [Yuu]? Look at this! The test we just got handed back!! Grim: My score went up 10 points from last time! Ain't I amazin'? Grim: The two of you better heap tons of praise on my genius awesomeness!

Trein: Sigh… Is that the only reason why you called out to me? You are still nowhere near average.

Trein: What does it say when you are unable to answer a single question on this section of fundamentals?

Trein: It seems you lack the foundation necessary. If the foundation is shaky, then no matter how much you try to learn, there will be no progress.

Trein: The crucial aspect of education is compounding new knowledge onto prior knowledge. You should always focus and strive to do your best.

Lucius: Mrooowr～～～ Ffft

Grim: M-Myaaah. He's started lecturin' again.

Grim: Tch. C'mon, you coulda at least said one nice thing…

Trein: …However, your ability to solve this problem here was spectacular. We only briefly reviewed this topic in the notes.

Trein: If you were capable of producing the correct answer, you must have thoroughly read your textbook. That is a commendable effort.

Grim: !!

Grim: Nyahahah… Yay! Yahoo～ I gotta tell those jerks who're always pickin' on me that Trein said I did good!

Grim: See that, hench-human? Ain't I awesome?

1. Amazing! 2. You're a genius!

Grim: Right? Hehe, I guessed right. Lucky me!

Trein: What…?

Grim: Oops.

Trein: You guessed? You mean to tell me you picked an answer at random, and this result was merely due to luck?

Grim: N-N-N-No way. I just misspoke!

Trein: Well then, I should give you a similar problem. Since you were capable of answering the previous problem, this should be a non-issue.

Grim: But I can't do that!

Trein: So it was a random guess after all. I had hoped that it had been the fruits of your efforts… Disgraceful!

Grim: But, c'mon～

Trein: NO TALKING BACK!

Trein: I cannot stand such laziness whatsoever. And you sought to win my praise in this manner?

Trein: This is unacceptable. You must receive your just punishment. Now, what shall it be…?

Trein: First, you shall review this test from corner to corner. Understand?

Trein: You will write out each question and answer in your notebook until you've thoroughly committed it to memory. All of it.

Trein: Finally, in order to see if you've truly absorbed the material, you will take a new test specifically on this subject, and must pass it with full marks.

Grim: A test!? But I just did one!

Trein: YOU'LL DO ANOTHER ONE!

Grim: MYAAAAAH!

1. You reap what you sow… 2. You just had to say something…

[Lecture Hall]

Trein: Well, it seems it's time to head back to the residence. Lucius, get ready to leave.

Lucius: Mrooow～

Trein: Ah, right. If I recall, we were almost out of milk. I should purchase some on the way home.

Trein: What else… We still have some vegetables, but I should purchase some meat… Hm? My phone is ringing.

[answers phone]

Trein: What is it, Dolly? It's not often you call me at such a time.

Trein: Hm? On your next break? …I see, I see! That is splendid.

Trein: Anna mentioned that she will also be able to come home. It will be nice to have the whole family together for once.

Lucius: MROW!?

Trein: Could you hear that? Yes, it seems Lucius is also excited to see you two.

Trein: How long will you be able to stay? …Hm, I see. You'll be able to enjoy your time a little, then.

Trein: Come home safe. Make sure to behave yourself so as to not cause any issues with those around you as you travel… …I am not nagging.

Trein: …I understand, yes, yes. You've grown into a fine adult. I'll abstain from "nagging" you. That is what you prefer, yes?

Trein: …Yes, your papa is also looking forward to seeing you. Talk to you later.

[click]

Trein: …Did you hear that, Lucius? Dolly and Anna will come home for their next vacation.

Lucius: Rrowwr～～～

Trein: Haha, don't sulk.

Trein: Yes, it is a tad worrisome that they live so carefree like children even as adults...

Trein: However, they lost their mother during their formative years, so they've been through such hardship.

Trein: They may have matured and left the family home, however providing them a solace to return to is still a parent's duty to their children.

Trein: …I'm sure she would have wanted that as well.

Lucius: Rrooowr～～～～～

Trein: Indeed. You were just as attached to her when you were a kitten, I remember. I know just how heartbroken you were as well.

Trein: That is why during this upcoming break, the two of us must welcome them home with open arms, for her sake as well.

Trein: First, the fireplace requires cleaning. Ah, yes, this is also an opportunity to replace the rug. And…

Lucius: Rrowr～～～

Trein: …No, you need not do anything, Lucius. Whatever would we do if you were to break a nail while attempting to put away all your cat toys.

Trein: No need to sweat. All you should do is rest on your little couch and enjoy yourself.

Lucius: Rrowwr～～～～～

Trein: Yes, I know. Since we are sharing in such grand news, I shall open up your favorite can, as a treat.

[rustle]

Grim: THAT AIN'T FAIR!

Trein: Hm!? That surprised me… [Yuu], and Grim. What are you doing here?

1. We were just heading home. 2. We just happened to pass by.

Grim: We were workin' on that stuff you gave us, and look how long it's takin'! And we're not even done…

Grim: But who cares about that… I just heard what you said.

Grim: You keep yappin' 'bout how I gotta work haaaaard, or learn more stuuuuuff or whatever…

Grim: But you're sayin' Lucius doesn't gotta do anything, that's totally different from what you said earlier! That ain't fair!

Grim: So, I wanna do what he does. Hey, Lucius, swap places with me!

Lucius: MROWR!?

Grim: MEEEEOOOW!

Grim: Humph. If I do this, then I won't have do deal with all your naggin', and I can just lay around and get pets and tasty treats, right?

Grim: This is the life! Myahaha!

Trein: No! Do not climb on the desk and try to replace Lucius. Stop it!

1. You sure you're good with just being a cat?

Trein: It's just as [Yuu] says. Lucius is my precious familiar. On the other hand, Grim, you are a student! Trein: Do you not think you are simply causing more of a headache to [Yuu], who supports you day in and day out?

2. I mean, it is a pretty neat gig.

Trein: Wha… Even you say so, [Yuu]? I do hope you aren't planning on jumping on the desk as well.

Trein: As students given the honor to become Night Raven College students, you dare wish to merely relax and do nothing…?

Trein: How wretched. Students thrive because they are thrown into the strenuous trials of academia.

Trein: While you are under my tutelage, I will not allow such disgraceful behavior to continue.

Trein: Both of you must never forget that you are students at this esteemed academy!

Requested by Anonymous.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hii!!

(I hope you’re feeling okay and remember to drink water! Also ignore if you’re not up for writing this ask)

What about the batboys watching their s/o (or best friend! Reader) fall back in love with life.

Reader has been down and depressed for months possibly but something happens and they smile or laugh genuinely for the first time in a while!

(Again just ignore if you don’t like it)

Tim

Thought he was dreaming when he saw you loving life once again by having your usual morning drink and closing your eyes, smiling softly as though the simple act as drinking had single handedly brought back your love for life.

It felt like a miracle to Tim as he could only be reminded of how just a few days ago you were borderline mute and refusing to move an inch out of bed, and now here you were, standing in your shared kitchen and smiling softly into your mug as you devoted yourself to savouring the drink as it went down your throat. The simple things were what seemed to have brought your love for life back and Tim couldn’t help but let a smile spread across his face as he watched how the natural lighting from the kitchen window made you seem almost ethereal in that moment.

It was truly a testament to your ability to find the power to get up out of bed, thinking that this day would be just like all the others, only to find your happiness lying in wait inside a ceramic cup. You had dug deep inside yourself whether you realised it or not to revive your appreciation for life. You did that, the morning drink merely helped put that smile back on your face where it belonged.

Tim couldn’t have been more prouder of you in that moment as he joined your side, kissing the side of your head as the domesticity of your relationship came back in full effect, almost as if nothing had happened. Everything was back to how it should be since the beginning and Tim was going to do whatever he could in his power to keep it that way.

Damian

The moment Damian heard a familiar laughter coming from outside followed by a pair of dogs barking, he immediately dropped his pencil and rushed to his window to see what was happening, only to see that it was just you watching on from under a tree as Titus and Ace chased after a pair of squirrels.

It might’ve been dismissed had it not been for the fact that you had finally found the strength after a month long episode of deep desperation and were smiling so brightly and looking happy again that it genuinely made Damian speechless.

He knew how hard it had been for you as of lately and he had been trying his best to be there for you whenever possible when he wasn’t busy with school or being Robin. You had fallen out of love with life and Damian swore he had never felt such helplessness when he tried to coax you out of bed but to no avail, he genuinely didn’t know how to help you and the fact that you had given up on helping yourself only made Damian more helpless.

So seeing you fall back in love with life again after so long made Damian not hesitate in joining you in this celebration of yours as he uncharacteristically bolts out of the mansion with a chest full of pride and a heart full of relief and happiness. All he wanted was for you to be okay -both mentally and physically- and now that you finally were, he couldn’t help but want to spend as much time as he could allow himself to be with you.

He may try to act nonchalant about the whole thing but you could easily tell from the way he stayed shoulder to shoulder with you, brushing the back of his hand against your own, and that he was just as happy if not more to see you back on your feet. No words were spoken as you and Damian both watched Titus and Ace in amusement, you rested your head against his shoulder as he rested his atop of yours soon after, drinking in the moment together as one of many to come in the nearby future.

Neither of you needed words to express how you felt when your actions spoke a whole lot louder; Life was good again and neither one of you were going to take it for advantage ever again.

Jason

He felt as though he heard the heavens when you finally laughed after a long months worth of solemn silence, distant stares at nothing in particular and staying cooped up in your shared room with the lights off.

All because a small butterfly had chosen your hand to land on to rest had caused you to smile and laugh as though it were the first time doing so, which in Jason’s case that was exactly how he felt in that moment. It felt as though he could finally let go of the breath he had no idea he was holding in, like he could properly utilise his lungs again when he saw that life had came back to your eyes as you watched the butterfly with a tenderness.

It had been a long time coming but it was made all the more worth it for Jason when you directed that smile that he had been aching to see on your face aimed his way once again. He could thank the butterfly a million times and would still find more room in himself to be thankful to something so small for bringing you back to him where he failed.

‘Your smile is as beautiful as ever chipmunk.’ He’d tell you softly as he kisses the corner of your mouth, cuddling you into his side slowly as not to disturb the butterfly on your hand, feeling his insides melt when you shuffled closer to him to rest your head on his chest.

‘I haven’t felt this happy in close to a month.’ You admitted aloud.

‘I know,’ Jason started, ‘but I’m glad that you finally found it within yourself to be happy.’ He kisses your head again. ‘All you needed was time.’

[mjolnirswriststrap]

Just Another Notch

Masterlist Part 2/?? Part 3

Bucky Barnes x Plus Size F!Reader

Summary: If Bucky thinks his charms will work on you, then you’re gonna put up one hell of a fight to prove him wrong.

Word Count: 1,711

Warnings: None, but will contain explicit content 18+, in future chapters, read at your own discretion.

Your alarm didn’t wake you, it was a loud knocking at your door. You jump up, tapping your phone screen to see that it was only 6am. Now you’re gonna be groggy all morning, your alarm was set for 6:45. You trudge to your door, ready to rip down whoever it was that woke you up. When you open the door you see Bucky with bright eyes, two coffees in hand. You quickly read the label and see that it’s your favorite cafe in Brooklyn. How did he get coffee from there this early?

“Good morning.” He chirps out, reaching one of the paper cups forward. You cross your arms in front of you, refusing the coffee. “How can I help you?” You say curtly. You take in his attire, he was ready for training. You could almost laugh, him and Steve take their sponsorships too seriously, can’t be seen exercising in anything other than Under Armor.

“I still felt bad about last night and thought, maybe I could repay you by helping you get a head start today.” The smirk on his lips did nothing to ease your agitated mood. “I said we’re even, it’s fine.” You say, wondering if he was being genuine. It was far too early for all of this. You rub your sleep filled eyes, pushing your hair behind your ears. “Anything else?” You say, wanting to get some more sleep before the day of literal hell you were about to endure. Physically, you were the apex, but mentally and strategically, not so much.

You couldn’t wield a gun, you’d been studying a makeshift dictionary of all the military terms Steve and Bucky say during missions. You couldn’t take directions. Besides overpowering the strongest guy in Kansas during a championship, you’d never learned how to combat fight. You have no clue where to hit someone or how hard so you don’t do fatal damage. You were written up on your first mission.

Your adrenaline was pumping and you thought the gunman was bigger than what he was, causing you to dent his chest in, instantly killing him. The punch was meant to lay him out, not kill him. You’d been reminded time and time again during initial training that the goal was to subdue, shield rehabilitates these criminals.

So now training was mainly a mental game for you. Sizing people up, you were no use against magicians or witches but physically, you worked hard to discern people’s capabilities. You’d never trained with Bucky or Steve before. You’d never fought against a super soldier, you couldn’t even imagine their strength. Therefore, you’d never opted to train with them.

“No, I’m sorry for waking you.” He says, his eyes tell a completely different story. But you hear some sincerity in his voice. Maybe you were being too harsh to him. He really hadn’t done anything wrong, yet. You were the one who assumed he was drunk, you were the one who enjoyed him innocently helping you clean his mess. If you put aside all your wild ideas, Bucky had actually been very nice to you.

While no one had made any progress in talking to you or really even introducing themselves, Bucky was willing to sit with you and enjoy a bowl of cereal, alone. No other outside force willing him to be there. He’d apologized after spilling milk on you, helped clean it. He wasn’t even looking, and you were speed walking behind him, what if it truly was just an accident. Here you were being rude to the only person who’s shown you kindness.

You wanted to hit yourself. Mentally you were painting your back porch red. Guilt was slowly filling you as you watch him drop his head, nodding as if he’s finally realizing the situation, you wanted him to leave. But not anymore, “Let me get dressed, 5 minutes!” You wait for him to look up at you before you close the door in his face, you could see his smile return, but this time it looked triumphant and genuine.

You want to play this game with him, you knew that much. So why not make a big move and wear your new sports bra set with matching spandex shorts. You’d never worn just a sports bra, and always wore leggings. Your best friend convinced you that you looked good in it, so Nike gladly took your money. This would surely prove your suspicion, were his intentions innocent?

You looked in the mirror, pushing and pulling at your breast in the tight spandex. Your cleavage had to be perfect for this to work. You rolled down the waistband of the shorts, letting it show off your curves. You run to the bathroom to do your morning routine. Walking out of your door in less than the 5 minutes you estimated. You had no idea why you had such a pep in your step. As if you were rushing back to him.

“Thanks.” You say taking the coffee from his hands. He stands there frozen as you turn for the elevator, he watches your ponytail sway across your shoulders, then he lets his eyes travel down, to see your back dimples on display. This one he would fight for, his improvised plan didn’t work last night, he’ll admit his ego was hurt a little by his advances not working. So he gave you another chance with coffee this morning.

It almost didn’t work, he was showing real sadness when you rejected him again, but out of self pity, not because you were being rude. But it worked, and you folded. Judging by the way you’re dressed, he knew you were playing along with him. He would win in the end, he always does. Besides, you’d be an adversary opponent and the best prize.

You wish you could’ve told him black coffee wasn’t really your style, but you had too much pride, sipping it empty on the way down to the training floor. Bucky would probably go left to the gym, and you’ll go right, to the simulation room. It was handy for someone like you. Training with real people was a liability, so holograms it was. “See you later.” You nod to him.

“Where you going? I thought we were training together.” He sounds disappointed. “Oh you meant like the two of us? I thought it was a wake up call, not an invite.” You scratch the back of your neck, kind of embarrassed. “I figured you could use the change of scenery.” He laughs.

You follow him into the gym, a place you’d only been once, during the orientation tour. It was huge, needing the capacity to handle super hero’s being thrown around. Bucky walks over to a bench, setting down his coffee cup and shedding his windbreaker jacket. You toss your empty cup in the trash can beside the door, slowly walking up to him. “So what did you have in mind?” You ask, nervous as to what exactly you had gotten yourself into.

“First some basic warm up drills, then I figured I could help you with that strength depth perception.” He grabs two jump ropes from the wall and tosses one your way. “Fury was worried about you at the last meeting.” You roll your eyes, of course he was.

“I didn’t know you discussed me at meetings.” You say, starting to jump rope. He joins you a second later, going miles faster than you. “We discuss everything, especially things that could be a liability.”. He wasn’t wrong, it rubbed you wrong that you couldn’t defend yourself at these meetings. But you understood why they did it, you killed a man.

“Right.” You huff out, stopping and dropping the jump rope, you had no endurance. Bucky continues for another minute, the rope turning into a blur as it whizzed around him. You ran the track around the perimeter of the gym, till you legs felt like jelly. Again, Bucky kept going, literally running laps around you.

When he came to a jog in place in front of you, you took in the fact that no sweat had formed on his brow, meanwhile you left a puddle in the floor when you stood up. “Okay, let’s start with defense.” He brings his fist to face level and you match his stance. “We both know you have offense covered. But what about protecting yourself. Other people are strong too.” He made a good point.

You had beginners luck, dodging the first punch Bucky threw at your stomach. The second, not so much. You suck in a breath when his metal fist makes contact with your rib. “You’re supposed to block!” He sounds upset, like he was the one who just got hurt. “Yeah I got that.” You wheeze out, dropping to your knees, clutching your stomach.

Just as you’ve almost composed yourself the door to the gym swings open. “Are you ready for complete destruction, son?” It’s Steve walking in, but his face immediately drops when he sees you. “Excuse me.” He’s obviously embarrassed. You just look at Bucky and try to hold in a laugh. “Seriously?” You whisper, his cheeks are red but he nods.

“I’ll take that as my cue.” You say, waddling over to the vending machine in the corner. The blue on the Aquafina label reflected in your eye. You’re gonna die if you don’t get a drink. You tap your Apple Watch to the card reader, typing in A5, as you watch your water bottle be mechanically maneuvered around through a glass window you hear whispering. “She needs a snack already?”

You don’t know who said it, just that someone did, you didn’t turn around. Preferring to pretend it didn’t happen, you grab the water from the machine, drinking the whole thing in a couple chugs. You smash it between your hands, completely flattening it to the width of paper. It was loud, the cracking of the plastic, it silenced their hushed words. As you toss it into the trash can beside the door, you turn around and address both men.

“Thirst and hunger are two different things, wouldn’t you say?” And you leave, pushing past Natasha in the hallway as you make your way to the simulation room.

Taglist: @cjand10 @winterslove1917 @honestlywork @calwitch

[naomis-daydream]

make a move // ayanna patterson

summary: as the season comes to a close and soon, the semester, ayanna realizes her time to admit her feelings for the sports medicine intern is sooner than anticipated.

warnings: not really proofread

a/n: #haven’tpostedinmonths

✧

may 2024, storrs, connecticut

with the loss of final four and conclusion of the ‘23-‘24 season, a heavy feeling weighed on uconn’s women’s basketball team. alongside the season’s end, the school year was coming to a close, inevitably leading to the separation of the team until summer session.

the gymnasium was quiet, the hum of the overhead lights buzzed throughout the building. ayanna’s sneakers squeaked against the floors as she made her way to the physiotherapy office. well, less so the office, more so the person she knew would be in it.

two light knocks on the wooden door cause your head to perk up from the assorted boxes on your desk.

“hey, yanna,” you say, putting the top on the final box of your belongings.

“hey,” she says softly, hands sliding into her pockets. “clearing out?”

a sigh escapes your lips. “yeah, just grabbing the last of my stuff before they kick me out.”

the taller girl laughs, shaking her her head. “they could never kick you out,” she argues, “you’re like the glue of this whole thing. the place would practically crumble without you”

“awh, i wouldn’t say all of that,” you chide, shaking your head.

so humble the taller girl thinks. you never were good at taking compliments. “seriously, you helped so many of us this year, on and off the court. i honestly don’t know if i would’ve made it to the end of the season without you.”

your head quirks up at the comment, eyes meeting hers from her position against the doorframe. “bullshit,” you reply. “your shoulder may have taken you out the game physically, but the mental one? the emotional? that was all up to you.”

“half of those workouts you had me doing in PT definitely pushed the mental,” she says, a small smile on her lips.

you chuckle at the memory, the months spent with the team, notably number 34, drilling exercises and strength training stretches to accelerate the healing process. you put your hand up in defense walking around to the front of your desk, “just doing my job. and a damn good one at that. with all your hard work, we got you cleared for summer session.”

ayanna hums in agreement, “yeah, it helped that i had you in my ear the entire time. couldn’t chicken out on any of my sets.”

you sit on the edge of the now-empty desk, sighing. “i’m gonna miss bossing you around.”

“really?” she asks incredulously, pushing off the doorframe to walk up to you. “that’s all you’re gonna miss?”

“hmm, maybe you too. a little bit.”

“ohh, just a little bit?”

“yeah, just a little bit.”

she’s closer to you now, just arms length away. as the room falls quiet, your eyes stay focused on hers, the both of you trying and failing to suppress smiles.

you liked ayanna. she’s cute, and funny, and someone you admired from afar since joining the team’s student staff. you never really spoke one on one with her outside of pre-screening at before the start of the season. she was a year younger than you, and since she was healthy, there was never much reason to interact so, you kept to yourself.

you waved in hallways and greeted one another in hanging out in groups, but never escaped surface level. it wasn’t until she got injured that you truly got to know her. during warm ups, check ins, and especially PT did you bond with ayanna.

you talked about everything under the sun this past season. family, life back home, how tough it is to balance school, social life, and so much in between as a d1 college athlete.

you listened with intent, sharing your life with her as well. unbeknownst to you, you were her rock during her road to recovery. someone she looked forward to seeing during physical therapy.

during the entire process, you still found her attractive, but wanted to focus on her recovery rather than any distractions. you never had any signs in the past of feelings being reciprocated, so why think about them now?

little did you know, the basketball player’s thoughts lingered with what if’s and what could be’s of you. if she could just, built up the courage to actually ask you out. she’d been getting teased relentlessly by jana and kk about her obvious attraction to you, and how you always had a tender touch when it came to ayanna.

which brings you to now. the end of the season, and school year at that. uconn’s athletic center would soon close til the coming semester, and with it, her chance to tell you how much she’s enjoyed her time with you, and would like the chance to enjoy your company off the court and off campus.

it’s only after she clears those thoughts in her head that she realizes she’s just been staring at you, head tilted to the side, eyes following hers with that smile on your face. the same one that made her words falter and fail whenever you came close.

great, now she’s looking at your lips.

thankfully, you break the silence and bring her eyes back to yours with a gentle, “what, not gonna miss me, patterson?”

she paused, looking yo as if she was pondering her response, uttering a small, yet teasing, “just a little bit.”

you stand up from your seated position, closing the distance between you two as you fold your arms. “it’s our last day, everyone’s out packing or partying, and you came all the way down here just to tell me that?” you ask.

“no,” she replies, drawing out the vowel, “i came all the way down here to give you this.” ayanna shrugs her bag off her shoulder, unzipping the front pocket to pull out a jersey reading patterson, 34.

your gaze drops to her hands, holding the surprise. your lips gape as you look back up to her, meeting hopeful eyes.

“since you’ll be able to see me on the court next season, figured you’d need a number to rep,” she pauses, “mine’s okay, right?”

you shake your head, “okay? this is more than okay, yanna, oh my gosh,” you utter, taking the jersey and holding it up to you.

you look down at the jersey once more, than back up to her. “thank you so much.”

“it’s no problem,” she assures, smiling down at you, still gazing at the shirt. “but there is one more thing i came down here for.”

you look back up to her, brows furrowed as her eyes trace your features.

“i don’t wanna have to miss you over the summer,” she begins. “i wanna us to talk and hang out outside of,” she looks around for a second, “here…i want to be with you. and i hope you want that that too.”

the smile you’d been fighting since she walked in was proudly on display now, accompanied by the warmth you felt rushing to your cheeks. the small gap between the two of you is closed when you wrap your arms around her neck, giving her the reply she’d been waiting for with baited breath.

“yeah,” you whisper against her skin, pulling back to see her, “i’d like that.”

✧

a/n: rushed ending ahhh don’t haze me. need to get this out the drafts and get out of writer’s block bear with me

[fishsticksloser]

Sukuna SFW HCs

Warnings: fluff, opinions

A/N: mmmm... Sukuna... I dunno what it is about him, but I really like him... Also! You can request JJK stuff :))

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He's not overly affectionate

He has more of a "bully to show affection" mentality...

So lets just say he shows it physically and with words...

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He will never admit it, but he loves his partner's hips

Why? Well... He likes how they put their hands on their hips when they scold him or something, just the sass that can radiate from one part of their body is everything for him

As for his favorite part of himself?

His hands, all four of them.

He loves how he can hold his partner, how they look on their body and how his partner looks at them

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Not a cuddler...

Unless his partner begs

He reluctantly agrees, but he has to be the big spoon

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Settling down is not for Sukuna

He isn't not a good cook or at cleaning up

He had people who did that for him, servants, concubines, he doesn't want to settle down...

Not at all lie

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He is not nice... Not one bit

He definitely calls them names, belittling them

If he truly loved you, he does this in hopes that they stay as far away from his as possible to protect his partner

He's a dangerous curse after all, they would become a target too if they stay with him

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Commitment? Even the word makes him feel sick

Yet with his partner, he feels this sick feeling in his chest

It takes a long time for him to admit that he wants more, he wants commitment

Especially marriage... Think 4+ years...

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

The least gentle...

He knows his strength, but has never really had to control it before so he's very rough physically until he gets the hang of how fragile his partner is

Emotionally? Cruel...

Though Sukuna does try to be nicer, only to his partner though, no one else deserves it

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He really doesn't like hugs

Why does his partner want to just... Squeeze him?

Still, he will let them hug him, just don't expect him to hug back

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Never.

He never says it...

Instead he uses other words, but his partner knows the underlying meaning.

"I loathe you," "I can't stand you"

Yet he still seeks his partner's presence

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He gets very very jealous

If anyone so much as looks at his partner in the "wrong" way, they're dead meat

Sukuna is very possessive, he will growl at anyone who approaches

An actual growl, it's deep, rumbling through the entire space

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are rough, hard, and demanding

They show his dominance in the relationship as a whole

It takes him a while to learn how to kiss nicely... And then he loves sneaking a few in but will deny it until the ends of the Earth

He loves when his partner kisses his hands and arms, it makes him feel powerful (like he's not already).

He loves kissing their neck, just the soft skin there, how their head falls back to give him more room

It's intoxicating

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Bad...

The worst

Why are they so small?

Why can't I throw it?

He does not comprehend what a baby is...

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He doesn't slip in, that is not something he's ever heard of

He's up before dawn, getting work done

Hardly ever does his partner wake with him, mornings are typically his "me time"

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Up early, bed late

He stays up very late into the evening, doing what?

It depends

Sukuna may be working still or... He'll simply be enjoying his time with his partner

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Steel trap

He doesn't share anything if he doesn't deem necessary

Even then, he's super vague about it

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Very easily

He doesn't put up with any bullshit and he absolutely doesn't give any verbal warning

But he does have tells

Leaning back in his chair with is cheek resting on his fist, the fire in his eyes, threading his fingers together

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Pretends he has no idea, that he doesn't know or care

But he remembers everything

It's why he often goes to his partner when he notices their nervous/stress

He took notes of their signs and reacts accordingly

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He doesn't have a favorite

To be honest, he doesn't really remember anything small

Hell... He barely remembers their first kiss, he thrives on experiencing his partner for the "first time" over and over due to this

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Sukuna is very protective, equal parts protective and possessive

As state in both Ending and Jealousy...

He will do everything in his power to protect his partner

Everything...

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Not that much effort

Especially for dates and every day task

But gifts?

He's a really got gift giver, going all out for his partner

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He is pretty demeaning

It's incredibly difficult for him to treat his partner as an equal, so used to being more important, superior

He is working on it, but oh man...

He has a very serious habit of mocking his partner in front of others

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Not overly concerned

But for a special event?

He finds himself worrying over everything, wanting to look his best

Which of course he'll deny doing

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Will never admit it (seems to be a theme)

But he feels empty without his partner

What is he supposed to do when you're not around?

No one to tease, the bed is empty, none of those annoying kisses and hugs...

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Stinky

But only when he actually uses deodorant?

Crazy, but apparently his body just... Regulates the stink itself??

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

As often as he acts where he is superior than his partner, he would hate it if they went along with it

If his partner said something self depreciating or demeaning, he'll be very upset

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Hates cuddling when he's awake, but a cuddle bug when he's asleep

Sukuna often gets really hot when he sleeps, so his partner can absolutely steal the the blankets and he will not complain

[slaaverin]

To hell and back

This post is very difficult to make for me. This is not about BTS, or about fandom, but about mental health, and my personal story. I never really opened up about it anywhere except in a few facebook groups. But today is the day I decided to speak about my story.

It is surely more for me than for you.

Very few people in my friends and family can really understand what I have been going through, because it is a topic so complex that even I have trouble understanding it sometimes.

Well, firstly, I am schizophrenic. At least according to science. If you asked me though, it would be a different answer.

The truth is, I became spiritual again when I was 25, not long after discovering BTS. I took on a meditation practice and grew my consciousness very quickly.

Someday, I had an idea on how I would be able to help the collective, and I thought about becoming clairaudient (hearing the other side). So, I "hear voices". I followed my intuition on how to achieve this, and after some time it actually worked, I could hear.

So this ability to hear was totally consented on my part, I wanted this from the start.

But yeah, according to science, when you can hear anything, they put a schizophrenic label on you. I think it's mostly that they are in over their head with this kind of subject, and they simply don't understand everything enough to really be able to help anyone, except with medication.

Unfortunately, the universe is bigger and more nuanced than a label, so I never really got help from psychiatrists. I had to navigate through this on my own.

Everything was going fine at first, I was learning how to use this ability, and things were going well.

But someday, everything went to shit.

I won't go into that much details, I'll spare you, because it is pretty horrific. But long story short, I made a trip to "hell". Literally.

Of course, I myself do not believe in the christian hell. I've studied spirituality enough to understand it is not that literal, and there are many realms with different purposes.

But there are some dimensions that are close enough of what we would imagine hell to be like. And I have gone there.

I spent 2 weeks in 2 dimensions at once. In my physical body, but also in this dark dimension.

It's not really important to believe in this, or to argue whether it was real or not, because the thing is, my experience, impressions, feelings, all of it, were real to me. It felt real. It felt tangible. The mechanics does not matter, what matters is that I experienced it, and the trauma from it was real.

It was the most horrific, the darkest, the most twisted, so terrible that words cannot even give it justice. It is an experience that I felt somehow was a glitch in the matrix. Like we should not be able to experience something like this, it should not be allowed.

But it was. And no matter how much I cried for help, prayed all the gods, begged, no one came to save me. I could not sleep, did not eat, and barely functioned during those 2 weeks.

I felt left there, abandoned, alone, helpless, in total despair and horror, and with a pain that was so profound that I thought it would kill me. I was patiently waiting for death to take me, in how much my heart was broken into a million pieces.

I got annihilated entirely by the end. No emotions, no thoughts, no personality, no beliefs, nothing that made me me, was left.

I was gone, an empty shell. I had been entirely destroyed. A metaphorical death.

But something was left. A tiny flicker.

It was the light of my consciousness, my divine spark.

I understood then that even the worst darkness that exist would not be able to destroy my light, and that I was eternal.

So all of my fears vanished. I began clinging to that light and use a strength I didn't even know I posessed to crawl back from the pit of my own hell.

I had PTSD for years after this experience. And it was not truly over. I was still plagued by many interferences, trickster energies, evil things.

But over time, I healed, and brought back the pieces of myself that were scattered, and my psyche, even with PTSD, began to mend.

But now I had to learn how to play "the game". How to not get tricked, how to keep my internal balance despite being surrounded by nothing but darkness.

Some day the darkness put so much pressure on my being that I thought of ending my life. And that's not really like me, because I'm really pro-life.

But it's like I've been through some fucking intense internal military-like training, with no rest, with no pause, and no mercy. Ever.

It pushed me to my limits.

So of course I transformed. I became stronger mentally, I learned discernement, I took my power back, literally my entire being was totally refined.

I mastered "the game" of darkness, outsmarted them, mended every breach of my psyche, moved past all my fears, and my mind became as cutting and sharp as a knife. It took me years, but I learned the lesson. And I can say that darkness was my greatest teacher. The wisdom I gained, there is really no price for it. In the end I saved myself.

Today, I am good. I work very hard to keep my internal balance, to remain optimistic, to keep spreading love around me.

If you saw me you wouldn't tell I have any particularity lol

But to say this whole process has been hard is a understatement. It is SO FUCKING HARD like it's so hard and complex and layered that's it's really a bit ridiculous?

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a very bad movie, so I guess the universe and my higher self really have a weird sense of humour. But I laugh it off too because it's better than crying about it.

I know we are never alone, and that everything supports us, but the illusion that we are is really strong sometimes. Almost no one would be able to understand my experience, without having lived it, so I feel like I'm bearing this cross on my own.

But you know, all of this really puts things into perspective. The fact I have been in a place such as this, survived, and came back, makes every other little problems in life feel truly trivial.

I don't know what your faith is, it is not really important. What I learned in my studies is that most people who actually go to those places had things to learn, it's never "some punishement". It's clearly not because I deserved it.

But I did my share of learning indeed. Today I feel like I am a better version of myself thanks to this experience.

I believe it was for my highest benefit, because I can't reconcile senseless pain and hurt in my mind with a loving god. I know things aren't random.

It all began because I wanted to help. So in sharing my story, I want you to share a message of hope.

The deepest pain, the darkest fear, nothing that is abyssal and scary and any emotion you might feel, none of it will actually hurt you. You cannot be hurt. You cannot be destroyed by anything, ever. We just think that some emotions will kill us, so we avoid to feel them. We fear, so we flee.

If you actually embrace your fears, it won't kill you. It will liberate you. Nothing else will happen.

You know why we come to earth to have crazy experiences and we don't mind the trauma and the pain that come with it? Because our souls know that we are not taking any real risk in the first place.

Your light is deeper than the deepest fear, largest than the most painful hurt, and you are safe at all time, even if it doesn't feel like it.

So please, rest easy, don't take life so seriously, it's all going to be ok. We will all wake up from this dream someday and go back to love, and it will only be a memory, a blip in our eternity.

We are safe & loved.

I think I needed to get all this out of my chest.

(Please don't feel the need to psychoanalyze me or feed me religious doctrines, I had years to process and really understand the mechanics of everything that happened to me so far, but obviously I didn't want to turn this post into a million words so many aspects are left out.)

Thank you for reading my post and take care💜

[gremlin-girly]

It's a Wonderful Life

A Bucky Barnes Christmas fic

Tags/warnings: ANGST, FLUFF, mentions of suicide/depression/abuse/ptsd, post end game, Steve went back, generally depressing stuff but it's a happy ending :)

Not beta'd. I do not give permission for my work to be translated, copied or reposted or put through an AI machine.

Summary: based upon the film of the same name. On Christmas Eve, Bucky takes a walk and meets a stranger who assures him life is worth living.

Word count : 2.9k (2977)

A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! ☺️ sorry to make it so sad - I may come back amd edit parts but I dont know yet! I apologise for any mistakes etc etc. And there's another note at the very end! - Love, Grem x

Dividers by: @/saradika-graphics

Bucky Barnes Collection | Navigation

Christmas Eve in New York was always cold and today was no exception. Bucky wasn't sure how far he'd walked, but he was at a bridge not far from the city, watching the lights wink in the distance.

Leaning on the stone ledge, breathing into his gloved hands to (at the very least) keep his flesh hand warm, he did what he had been doing since the moment he blipped back; think about his entire existence and the lead up to this point, here on the bridge, on Christmas Eve.

The water below whooshed by quickly although you couldn't see the inky mass below. It was loud, almost too loud to hear himself think. He sighed, dropping his hands to the metal railing stuck into the stones.

What was the point of it all?

Bucky wondered, staring into the black void below, if he'd ever truly be free of HYDRA. Sure, his brain was apparently brainwashing-free but, and not to insult Shuri, he was with HYDRA for almost a century.

Almost a century.

Almost a century of abuse. Seven decades worth of scars. Seven decades of murders deserved and not. Seven decades of being frozen and defrosted to the point his body sometimes makes him sick because he shouldn't be out of cryo so long. Seven decades of torture, mental and physical, on top of losing Nat, Tony and... Steve.

End of the line.

What a joke.

What was the point of dragging the Winter soldier kicking and screaming to fix him, to put your life and others' on the line for him; a man who tried to kill you and your friends multiple times, only to leave him once he was back to his old self?

Well, old self was a bit of an exaggeration.

Bucky's grip on the railing tightened, creaking under his strength as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. He hated, hated, hated to admit that he was angry at Steve. Resentful. If Bucky was in Steve's position he would have put a bullet in his brain.

He tells himself, night after night, that Steve had good intentions. Bringing him back, fixing him but... leaving him? Bucky knew very few people, and very few (rightfully) didn't trust him. The only connections he had to most people were Steve and with him gone, it was like people stopped having to pretend to tolerate Bucky and left him alone.

And Steve... after the blip, he'd changed. But coming back after five years, five blissful years where there was no fighting, no pain, just nothing... for Steve to vanish like that made Bucky think he had done something wrong.

Bucky didn't know when he had started crying. He wiped his eyes roughly with his hands and sniffed. He was also a man out of time. He didn't understand modern slang, modern music (which was awful), modern romance or any of that texting stuff or Facebook. Or whatever the bird app was. Or was it as letter now? God. Everything was confusing.

There was a sick comfort in knowing what he was good at with HYDRA.

What was the point of it all?

Even if he threw himself over the railing, by some sick cosmic joke he'd probably live; if not by losing another limb.

"Excuse me?" A voice calls. Bucky ignores it. "Bucky Barnes?"

Bucky blinks and looks over in the direction of the voice. It's not one he recognises and neither is the person.

Before him is an old woman, bundled in thick coats and scarves. She has thin, short white curly hair that's almost translucent and an angled face with chubby, rosy cheeks and eyes that glitter with a playful wit. She's somebody's grandma, with that half-stern eyebrow raise, matronly and motherly look rolled into one.

"Hi?" Bucky blinks at her trying to place her. He still doesn't recognise her.

She approaches a little closer and peeks over the bridge where Bucky had been staring and whistles, cutting through the rush of water in the darkness. "I hope you weren't thinking of jumping."

"No." Bucky lies, still confused.

"Ah, clever boy. It would do you no good. Plenty left to do."

"Do I know you?" Bucky asks, staring at her.

"Oh! No. You don't know me." The old lady says cryptically. "But I know you, James Buchanan Barnes. I know everyone."

Bucky stands up to his full height, towering above the old lady, who watches him unphased. He tilts his head at her, narrowing his eyes, trying to decipher who or possibly what she is and what she could possibly want with him.

"I'm guessing you know me from the news? Or from history books?"

"I know you as James Buchanan Barnes, born March tenth, nineteen-seventeen. I know you as the Winter Soldier. I know you as White Wolf and now I know you as just Bucky."

Bucky reels. Civilians didn't know about his time in Wakanda and he was certain that not many people just knew him as Bucky outside of SHIELD.

"How...?"

"Nevermind how." She snips, adjusting her handbag on her forearm. "What brings you to the bridge tonight, Bucky?"

It sounds like a loaded question. It is a loaded question. The old lady seems to be goading him into admitting something he didn't want to admit.

"I...Just out for a walk." He falters, looking down at his feet.

"Perfect. Walk with me?" The old lady offers her arm out to him, and for some reason Bucky is compelled to take it. Walking arm in arm, they slowly make their way back into the thrum of the city centre.

There are people everywhere.

Pretty standard for New York on Christmas Eve. There are kids, carolers, couples and Christmas-everything along the streets. There's music playing Here Comes Santa Claus somewhere, lights flashing and a giant tree decorated to the nines every few blocks.

"Look at them," The old lady murmurs looking out into the crowd with a warm smile. "Aren't they just the sweetest?"

Bucky follows her gaze. There's plenty of laughing kids, couples walking hand in hand and making gooey eyes at one another but Bucky knows there's more beneath the surface; abusers, pick pockets and murderers walk amongst them. He would know.

"Yeah." Bucky says gruffly. "I guess."

The old lady's gaze pierces him with a stern look. "You don't believe me."

"There are just as many bad people as there are good." Bucky huffs. "No matter what, it hardly makes a difference."

"Now, now," The old lady tuts with a small, patient smile. "That's just not true. Look at where we are."

Bucky frowns down at her. He doesn't know why he feels compelled to stay and argue with some random old lady on Christmas Eve, but he does.

"We're in New York, lady." Bucky grumbles. The old lady jerks her head upwards towards the street name etched into the side of a tall concrete building. Time had worn most of the wording away but Bucky could still just about make it out.

"Worthing Street?"

"Worthing Street." The old lady confirms. And glances up at Bucky. "This is where you first met Steven Grant Rogers all those years ago."

"How in the hell-"

"Language." The old lady huffs and then smiles. "I told you. I know you."

Bucky frowns.

"A little bit of good always makes a big difference. It's all about perspective." She chuckles happily. "This is where James Buchanan Barnes met his best friend; protecting him from bullies. Do you know he could've died that day?"

She gives Bucky a sideways glance as memories spill from Bucky's brain. Steve hacking up a lung and trying to stand, his face and knuckles bloody, struggling to catch his breath.

"I remember." Bucky says quietly.

The lady continues. "Had you not stepped in and saved him, your lives would have been very different. Without you, there would be no Steve Rogers, no Captain America as we know him."

"But there'd be no Wonter Soldier either." Bucky counters and is surprised when the old woman cackles at him.

"There would always be a Winter Soldier. Always a Captain America. Whether or not they were you or Steven is another school of fish entirely."

Bucky ponders her words but thinks that maybe discussing alternate realities would melt his brain. Clint had tried when he'd explained the time travel stuff in the search for infinity stones but it gave Bucky a headache. He was from the 40s for God's sake.

"Your small act of kindness, your selflessness, made Steve aspire to be who he was." The old lady says after a moment. "As difficult as it was, Steve felt that he owed it to you to give you back your life. He deemed you worthy of saving above all else."

Bucky's chest tightened. He could feel the sting of tears again and forced them back.

"Probably because I saved his ass more than once," Bucky tries to chuckle, but the lump in his throat is too thick.

"Because you were his brother." The old woman says simply. She looks back out into the crowd once more before tugging on Bucky’s stiff arm. "Come on. We're not done."

"If you know everyone," Bucky begins, walking alongside the old woman. "Why did Steve leave?"

"Love." The old woman sighs. "He had sacrificed so much and so many. He knew you'd be okay."

"Did he?"

The old woman grins wickedly at Bucky. "Of course. You now have Sam."

Bucky scoffs.

"And Sarah. AJ. Cass. Yelena. Alexei. Shuri. Okoye. T'challa. The list goes on." The old woman reaches into her handbag, scouring it for a moment before producing a mint humbug and offering to Bucky who awkwardly accepts it. She finds one for herself and they continue on down the street.

"And there's those you haven't met yet." She says after her humbug has melted enough for her to speak.

Bucky frowns again. "Oh yeah? Like, I don't know, a partner or something?"

The Old Woman's eyes twinkle. "Or something."

Bucky harumphs, wrapping his arms around himself. He didn't let himself think about that; a future. How could someone love him? After everything he'd done? He was beyond damaged goods.

But the way the Old Woman speaks, as if she knows, makes a small part of him jump for joy. If even he was worthy of love and affection...

"Must you always do that?"

Bucky gives the Old Woman a sideways glance. "Do what?"

"Scrunching up your face like that." She mimicks Bucky's expression, brows furrowing deeply adding extra wrinkles to her skin and pouting her lips comically. "You look like a sad little basset hound."

Bucky throws up his hands. "Its my face!"

"Well, make it smile more." The Old Woman argues back.

"I'm one hundred and six, lady, you can't tell me what to do!" Bucky's lips twitch upwards when he catches her small smirk. "Where are you taking me now, anyway?"

"We're going to see a friend of mine."

Horizon Resedential Care was one of the more impressive care homes in New York. Set within a small block with a park for residents to mull about in, the care home boasted glowing reviews from family members who adored seeing their loved ones sociable, active and well cared for.

The small, wrought iron gate was shut; locked tight to ensure no residents went walk about in the ice and snow. Only the intercom button glowed red, begging to be pressed, to allow family visits.

"No." Bucky said, standing outside the gate. His feet couldn't move. He felt sick. He wanted to run. "I'm not going in there."

The Old Woman looked at him sadly, heartache etched all over her face. "She'd love to see you, you know."

"I - would she? Surely she thinks..." Bucky swallows thickly.

Surely she thinks I'm dead?

"You don't give the woman enough credit." The Old Woman chuckles with a shake of her head. "They watch documentaries in there all the time. The latest one was that Netflix special on the Winter Soldier."

"Oh my God." Bucky murmurs.

"Language." The Old Woman puffs. "Rebecca is more upset that you haven't come to visit her."

Bucky's heart clenches uncomfortably. "She is?"

"Of course. And you clearly know she's in there." The Old Woman gives him another annoying, knowing look. "You’ve known she was alive and haven't visited. Why?"

"Why?" Bucky growls, irritation and a sense of overwhelm crashing over his nerves like a tsunami. "My baby sister is old. I am a killer. How could I show my face to her after everything?"

The Old Woman only shrugs, turning away and beginning to walk down the street again. "You'd be surprised at how much love can forgive, Bucky. But remember, you have her back. You ought to make the most of the time you have together. Perhaps you should not let her think that you have forgotten her."

Bucky's flesh hand is fisted to hard he can feel his bones ache. He grinds his teeth as he fights down his temper. Who was this woman? And how did she know so much about him?

Jogging to catch up to her, Bucky hangs his head falling into step beside her.

"Im sorry for snapping." He grumbles. "Its just-"

"No need to apologise." She holds up a hand and still wears that kind, grandmotherly smile. "However, I do have one more person I'd like you to meet. She should be up this next street."

She?

The alleyway the Old Woman stopped in was... well, exactly how you would imagine an alleyway at the busiest time of year to look like. Trash cans scattered, rotting food mixed with debris and cardboard neatly lining each side of the alley.

"She's supposed to be here." The Old Woman comments, looking down at a thin gold watch around her wrist.

Bucky watches as a rat dives into a trash can and grimaces. "Who?"

"Ah!" The lady throws up her hands and waves at someone past Bucky. "There she is!"

Bucky turns but there's nobody there. He's about to argue with the old lady when a soft meow draw his attention to the ground. At his feet, sitting daintily with wide blue eyes, is the scruffiest white kitten he'd ever seen.

"Alpine."The Old Woman beams. "I was worried you wouldn't make it."

Bucky looks at the rosy cheeked old lady; cherub-like with her dimpled smile and then down at the kitten, who chirps at him. There's something about the Old Woman that's strangely familiar, but he can't quite place it.

"Bucky, Alpine. Alpine, Bucky." She nods and the kitten, Alpine, looks back to Bucky. Bucky stares back. This is entirely surreal.

"What the hell is-"

"She's your companion." She says matter of factly. "I had to pull a few strings to get her a little sooner but-"

"I don't know the first goddamn thing about looking after a cat!"

"Language!" The Old Woman snaps before adding spritely, "You'll learn."

Alpine toddles over to Bucky, circling around his legs and purring loudly. Bucky blinks. Once. Twice. This wasn't a dream. All of this, the wandering was real and not some sort of fucked up nightmare like he was used to having.

A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth when Alpine's giant jeweled eyes meet his and she meows quietly; looking up at him with adoration that said I trust you.

"She needs you as much as you need her." The Old Woman says softly. "Take good care of eachother, you two."

He squats down and offers his flesh hand to Alpine, who sniffs it gingerly before bumping her tiny head against it. Bucky had never been one to say whether he was a dog or cat person, he never had either growing up, and then with the war and HYDRA.... But looking at this kitten before him, his heart was already a puddle at his feet.

Bundling Alpine into his leather jacket, Bucky turned to find the space the Old Woman had occupied was empty. Bucky whipped his head up and down the alleyway and peeked out onto the street. She'd disappeared.

Shaking his head slightly, he looked down at Alpine snuggled against him.

"This has got to be the weirdest Christmas Eve ever." He mutters, stepping into the street and heading back to his apartment.

Bucky's apartment was a lot noisier than when he'd left it over three hours ago. And far more brightly coloured with tinsel and fairy lights.

AJ and Cass are playing some video game on his sofa, Sarah is making something that smells delicious and Sam was in the middle of finishing up the decorations.

"I know you said you didn't want anyone around," Sam starts nervously, already holding his hands in surrender as Bucky opens the door. "But no one should be alone on Christmas. Sarah and I-"

Sam stops and looks at Bucky's jacket as Alpine pokes her head out. "Is that a cat?"

"Uh, yeah." Bucky looks down at Alpine who meows loudly. "This is Alpine."

"Right. Sorry." Sam shakes his head before continuing. "Sarah and I brought some food and snacks and the boys are gonna watch Christmas movies. I'd love it if you'd join us, Buck."

"I... yeah." Bucky nods and swallows thickly, smiling over at Sam. "Thanks, pal. Although... you're in my house."

"Yeah, yeah," Sam waves a hand dismissively but his grin is wide. "Come on. You hungry? We've got plenty of snacks. No cat friendly ones though."

Alpine puffs in annoyance making Bucky chuckle as he joins Sam and Sarah in his small kitchenette. Warmth blossoms in his tight chest as the ice begins to thaw. He tries not to let it show, when tears prickle his eyes again in the warm, flashing lights.

The Old Woman was right; there was plenty left to do.

~ END ~

A/N: Nadolig Llawen! Or happy holidays wherever you are. I hope you're having a good time!

I've been writing and editing this all damn day in between work and cooking.

Originally I played with a few ideas but ultimately decided that I wanted to keep it as non-complex as possible (but if you are curious, yes Old Woman was an angel - specifically I chose Gamaliel Angel of protection and strength, Angel of Cherubs, "recompense of God" - thanks Wiki for that one). I'm not Christian, but a big supernatural fan (hence why I loved this fic idea). I thought if anyone was to be thrown into an old school movie (Like It's a Wonderful Life) it would be Bucky.

And don't worry, he visited Rebecca the next day.

I hope you enjoyed if you've read this far! And once again, happy holidays

- Love, Grem x

[windypuddle]

ok portrait of a father also drives me crazy narratively because bsd has a lot of themes of like overcoming your past, personal growth & finding strength from within, finding a reason to live, that kind of thing. which this chapter does touch on but in such a strange way.

i think honestly something that comes up a few times is that old people like the headmaster had it really tough & horrible during the great war so they expect the next generation to also deal with that hardship, but the war is over. and it makes perfect sense that the headmaster believes he did all that to (a) make atsushi hate the headmaster instead of himself and (b) make atsushi able to overcome hardship. and from a view of physical suffering point b is absolutely true but mentally emotionally psychologically it can absolutely be argued & there is SO MUCH evidence that the headmasters treatment of atsushi affected him SO badly. he has ptsd he has so many scars literal & emotional. he feels paralyzed and helpless when he's alone against an enemy because it feels like hes alone again in the orphanage. so the headmasters view of "torture him to make him stronger" makes sense personally for him to do BUT i dont believe it fits in the themes bsd actually wants to tell.

Dazai comparing him to a father figure for atsushi does fit with the headmaster's good intentions. and akutagawa when he shows up on the boat says "when that weretiger is backed into a corner or defeated, he will come back as a much more troublesome foe" which also supports that. But this overcoming suffering through strength of will stuff is not what bsd is about. its about trusting allies to have your back and fight alongside you . like dazai said, the reason fyodor "lost" the race out of meursault was because he didn't have one thing: allies. he only has pawns; nikolai is the only person who truly cares about him and thats. well. nikolai. and in the fight on the boat, atsushi and akutagawa only lost because they didn't trust in each other fully. mostly atsushi actually. fukuchi even SAID that if atsushi had trusted akutagawa to have his back with Rashomon from the start, they could have killed him and won. so the most important thing is not personal strength but having allies & trusting other people to support you because for atsushi, the worst thing is being alone.

anyway this chapter acknowledges that the headmaster had good intentions but that doesnt necessarily mean that everyone else would agree with them. and dazai even says atsushi doesnt have to forgive him. so they WEREN'T actually the best methods for making atsushi better But they were done out of like love and care . and thats the important part & what this chapter is about (evidence: the ending where atsushi cries)

[hoziersmilligan]

rolling with the idea that every one of john winchester's kids are fated vessels for the archangels, i would like to propose adam being raphael's vessel.

based on true religion, raphael is an angel of healing and protection. his name means "god has healed", and he is the patron saint of medical workers. he is rooted in health and healing, and so is adam. beyond the obvious connection of raphael being a patron saint of medical workers and adam wanting to become a doctor, adam to his core is a healer. he healed himself; a human who has the strength to survive being locked in a cage in hell for 1200 years is not one who rests in self-destruction. he also healed michael. not physically, but mentally. an archangel like michael, who for his whole life has had immeasurable amount of control over heaven and earth, being locked away for millennia with absolutely nothing to do is bound to break mentally. and you could argue michael did in some ways, but in no ways specifically negative. adam kept michael sane, grounded, in the cage by his presence alone. they clearly communicated in the cage, as they came to an "agreement" about who can control their body, and i think the humanity adam brought into the cage is what kept michael from cracking, whether intentional or not.

also, in regard to the "protection" that raphael reins over, adam seems to resemble this. while we get few canonical goals and traits for adam, one is that he cares and is protective of his mother. he wants to become a doctor to pay back and care for his mom just like she did him. he hates his dad, john winchester, not just because of what john did to him, but for how john treated his mother. adam even shows some protection over michael when he takes over the body in 15x08 when michael starts becoming erratic and angry. he tells the winchesters to "give it a rest" when they upset michael, and while he phrases it in a way that seems to protect the winchesters from michael, i think the opposite is true as well. adam doesn't want michael lashing out for his own benefit and safety as much as for the winchesters.

and in a more canon sense, raphael's devotion to michael is representative to adam's. while never explicitly said, raphael stayed with michael in heaven even when raphael ceased to have faith in their father. he believed in his brother even when he didn't believe in his goal. adam treats michael a similar way. it’s clear in 15x08 that michael and adam have talked about michael’s father a few times before, judging by adam’s exasperation and the lack of overall anger michael expresses towards adam's opinions about god (while yes michael shows anger, he's an archangel. if michael was truly that angry adam would not be able to express his opinion like that). adam is willing to stand by michael's side, defend him, heal him, be "his guide", even though he doesn't believe in the same goals as michael. adam is devoted to michael, much like raphael was, not because of michael's endgame or unchecked loyalty, but simply because he is michael. he's someone they both love.

and one thing less michael-related and more in line with how sam, dean, and adam are all fated vessels for lucifer, michael, and raphael. in relation to their father, dean, like michael, was devoted to his dad. unending loyalty and a willingness to look over any mistake. they both are lost without their fathers, for better or for worse. sam, like lucifer, once had faith in his dad. there was a time for both of them where they were just as devoted to their fathers as their brothers were, but they both lost it along the way. they both started questioning their dads and opening themselves up to new viewpoints that directly disobeyed their dads' wishes. and in doing so, they both were disowned. adam, like raphael, was an easily forgettable child. they both were never the main focus of their fathers' plans, and because of this they both lost faith in their dads. maybe they didn't completely despise their fathers, but they had no reason to really care for them.

this topic also opens up a can of worms. does michael see raphael in adam? is that why he was more accepting towards him in the cage then he would've been towards most other humans, especially sam or dean? did he find normality in adam in the early days of the cage because of how his soul seemed to resemble his brother's?

[dindjarindiaries]

WRITER'S CHOICE

These are my personal favorite stories that I've written so far, as well as my favorite stories written by others.

This list will be changed and/or added to over time as new stories emerge.

You can also read my stories on my AO3.

My ratings are as follows: G (all ages), T (13+), M (18+)

main masterlist

MY STORIES

DIN DJARIN SERIES

security* • fem!oc An ex-princess forced to hide and fight for her life, Astra is now on the run with a Mandalorian and a foundling, trying to protect the three of them from the threat of death that creeps around every corner accompanied by a tracking fob. ↳ This series will always be special to me for so many reasons, but mainly because it was the first Din Djarin story I ever wrote. Din and Astra have such a beautiful relationship that I've loved developing over the years. This story is also like a time capsule, as it's constantly being added to the more they create new Mandalorian content. It's very nostalgic to go back and see how my writing has improved over the years through this story alone.

bloodlust* completed • fem!reader A daring favor from Boba Fett sends you and Din undercover together—as a married couple. When tensions rise and mysteries unravel, you’re left to determine what’s real from what’s not before your time runs out. ↳ I truly didn't expect to love this story as much as I did when I started writing it, but I had a ton of fun with this one. It really brings out a very honest yet sensual depiction of Din's character that was really fun to explore. It also allowed me to give him a modern twist without taking Din outside of the Star Wars universe.

DIN DJARIN ONE-SHOTS

ni ceta par gar (i kneel for you)* • reader When Mando needs emotional release, you seek to fulfill your pining by offering something neither one of you can resist—something that could change everything. ↳ Anyone who knows me knows I'm not really a spicy gal, but this story was a fun experiment that turned into something I honestly loved. I adore the way Din behaves in this story, especially in the latter half. It's got a really nice balance between angst, spice, fluff, and hurt/comfort.

united we fall • reader Din’s unable to control the Darksaber and accidentally hurts you with it, leaving behind a deep scar on your body and his mind. ↳ This story was my first response to Din returning in TBOBF, and as an angst girlie, I eat this kind of hurt/comfort right up. It was heartbreaking to depict what Din would have done in this situation, but the comfort he receives is a perfect balm. I come back to this one a lot, and with each new one-shot, I try to recreate whatever energy I created here.

love me louder • reader Your secret romance with the Mandalorian is put at risk when you find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time. ↳ Forbidden/secret romances are gonna do it for me every time, and it was so fun to bring one to life in this one-shot. Protective Din is my favorite, so to depict that along with the reader character's own strength and reassurance was a really fun balance. I just live for the high-stakes moment in this one.

doomsday • reader You and Din are interrogated by Moff Gideon, who has quickly realized you’re the best weapon he has to use against the Mandalorian. ↳ Like I mentioned earlier, I'm an angst girlie, especially with a hefty dose of hurt/comfort when I can. There's not a ton of physical comfort here, but the emotional comfort throughout the torture was delicious to bring to life. This one is a true testament to what I think Din's strength, mentally and physically, would be in a situation like this.

HUNTER SERIES

senator’s shadow • fem!reader Clone Force 99 is assigned as your protection when you embark on a risky diplomatic mission, and a certain sergeant starts to get protective of you. ↳ Besides the fact that this is my only Hunter series so far (with at least two more coming soon!), this story has been really special to me as of late. It's helped me to bring multiple personalities to life in a way that I think and hope is faithful and accurate, and it also has a delicious tension in its main relationship that's been super fun to develop.

HUNTER ONE-SHOTS

borrowed time • reader You can’t stop staring at Hunter during a mission, and little do you know just how distracting it is for both him and you. ↳ If you know, you know. This one was born out of a single idea that I told myself I had to sit down and write right away, and that's exactly what happened. It's a simple concept, but that payoff at the end is just... probably one of my most intense kissing scenes I've ever written!

at victory’s end• reader You help Hunter to recover from the lasting effects of Hemlock’s torture on Tantiss. ↳ This was my response to the series finale, and for anyone who, like me, yearned to comfort him after those intense events, this one really hits. I do wish I could have expanded it more, but I'm still satisfied with the end result. Seeing Hunter go right into protector mode after he recovers is very on-brand.

in peace, there is love• reader Months after Tantiss in the peacefulness of Pabu, you find it impossible to ignore the feelings you’ve always had for Hunter. ↳ After making characters go through a lot of angst and hurt/comfort, this was a really sweet thing to explore. I especially had a wonderful time describing what Hunter would look like in the height of their retirement era. I hope it's just the first of many retired-Hunter-on-Pabu stories that I'll write.

MY RECOMMENDATIONS

DIN DJARIN SERIES

healer completed • fem!reader → @bestintheparsec You’re medically trained and meet the Mandalorian by chance. Over time, you become more than just a crew member. ↳ This series is the reason why I made this blog and started writing for this fandom. It will always have a special place in my heart because of that. This one truly helped to set the standard for classic Din x reader tropes during/just after season 1 premiered. It's a beautiful, heartfelt ride.

the lovely moons* • blind!reader → @vercopaanir Din buys your freedom and saves your from servitude to instead take you in as a paid crew member. As you help him with the child, you become much closer, your fates now intertwined. ↳ This story reads like a book. Din is very accurately characterized, and there's both faithfulness to canon and some new compelling adventures with high stakes. This one really has it all: incredible writing, heart-stopping action, and a sweet, sweet romance at the heart of it all.

DIN DJARIN ONE-SHOTS

protector • fem!reader → @aerynwrites When the ship is attacked unexpectedly, Din does everything he can to protect you, but you both end up being taken. When they suggest torturing you, Din offers to get tortured instead to save you. ↳ I said it before and I'll say it again: I eat these kinds of angsty hurt/comfort stories UP! This is one of the first I remember reading, and clearly, it's made a massive impact on me. I think about this one all the time. It's such a classic that I revisit time and time again.

HUNTER SERIES

what is this feeling • fem!reader → @masterjedilenawrites You grow close to Hunter when he and the squad are residing with you and protecting your home, but the time comes for them to leave. Misunderstandings lead to jealousy until you're forced to confess how you feel about him. ↳ This Hunter story lives in my mind rent-free all the time. I've already re-read it a few times and I only discovered it a few months ago. This has not only wonderful characterizations of the entire squad, but also just a super sweet and meaningful romance at the center of the story, even when you're yelling at them for not understanding one another.

Have a Din Djarin or Hunter story you'd like me to read? Submit it here, and I'll do my very best to check it out!

main masterlist

[ssleepdeprivedauthor]

In all the ways we've lived

“Just pray that you’ll be born with a quirk in your next life, and take a swan dive off the roof of the building.”

Yeah right. Kacchan would’ve instigated a suicide then, and how well would that work out for him? Not well at all. He wouldn’t get into UA, wouldn’t be a hero. Izuku was doing him a favor.

Gross. His notebook was all wet and slimy now. Who did Kacchan think he was, huh? Yeah, maybe he may have been the most amazing, talented person Izuku had ever seen, but he didn’t have the right to treat Izuku like that! How would he even be a hero if he bullied others? All Might would never bully anyone.

Izuku sighed, continuing on his walk home. He stopped for a moment, to sit down on a bench and dry out his notebook. But as he sat, he felt something wrap around him. And then— he felt it— slippery sludge forcing itself into his mouth, covering his body. Oh God, he was going to die. He’s was going to die, and he hasn’t proved himself yet. 

“I am here!” A very familiar voice boomed, and as the villain was pulled away from him, the relief that flooded through Izuku was immeasurable.

All Might punched the villain a few times until it was just small sludge, and he squeezed it into a Coca-Cola bottle. 

“You alright kiddo?”

Holy shit.

All Might was standing in front of him.

His hero was right in front of him, in real time.

“I— I’m okay! Thank you for saving me, All Might!”

All Might grinned, and Izuku thought he might actually faint from seeing his idol in real life.

“Well, I’ve got to get going now. Stay safe kid! Plus Ultra!”

Izuku latched onto All Might’s leg as he took off. He had to ask this question, he needed to be sure.

“Wait! I need to ask you something.”

“What the… Hey! Let go!”

“If I let go I’ll die!”

“Right… Just close your mouth.”

All Might landed safely on the roof, successfully shaking Izuku off.

“Alright, you can ask, as long as it’s quick. I don’t have unlimited time!”

“Right! Um…”

Izuku took a deep breath.

“Even if I don’t have a quirk… Is it possible for me to become a hero like you?”

All Might contemplated for a little bit.

“Look kid, being a hero isn’t all flashy stuff. If you don’t have a quirk, it’s dangerous. Even some people with quirks can’t be heroes, because they don’t have the physical or mental strength. It’s good to follow your dreams, but make sure they’re achievable.”

Izuku knew what All Might was saying. 

He didn’t want to accept it, though.

‘Take a swan dive off the roof of the building.’

Why couldn’t he just be born with a quirk? Why were people like Kacchan so blessed?

All Might had already left, and Izuku wanted to cry.

Yeah, he’d met his hero. It was fun, until he realized he truly could never achieve his dream.

Izuku resumed his walk home, but he guessed his subconscious somehow brought him back to another villain attack.

Geez, he really was pathetic, wasn’t he?

He sighed, deciding to sit on one of the crowded benches to quickly assess how damaged his notebook was. It was wet, that was for sure. Some of his sketches were ruined too.

Why did Izuku hear something eerily similar to Kacchan’s explosions? 

He decided to stand up and jog to the front a bit, attempting to get a glimpse of the villain.

No way.

It was the same villain that attacked Izuku earlier, but how was that possible? That couldn’t be possible, right? All Might had caught him, in that bottle.

Wait. 

Oh God, he made All Might drop the stupid bottle, didn’t he?

Izuku tiptoed again, aiming his eyes towards the figure in the villain’s hold.

That was blond hair.

Those were Kacchan’s explosions.

And suddenly, Izuku’s body moved by itself, and he couldn’t stop moving as he threw his backpack at the villain, digging through its liquid body to try and get Kacchan out.

Izuku heard the other pros telling him to stop, but he wouldn’t. He would save his… friend? Bully? He’d save them.

And then, Izuku felt a large burst of firepower behind him.

Endeavor.

Thank god, a real hero was here. He was so glad. Kacchan would be safe.

“Get out of the way. I will take care of this.” Endeavor spoke, tossing Izuku to the other pros while his fire neutralized the villain in a matter of minutes.

Even if All Might was the coolest, Izuku could still admit that the number two hero was definitely amazing.

“Izuku, you bastard! I didn’t need your damn help, so don’t come offering it again!”

Izuku sighed. Typical Kacchan, even though his eyes had been begging for help, he’d still deny it.

Izuku looked at the scattered pieces of the sludge. At least he’d tried to do something. Guess it was time for him to go home and accept that his dream really couldn’t come true.

As Izuku stepped into his warm, comforting home, he saw his mom cooking, and he wanted to start bawling. Back then, all he’d wanted his mom was to believe he could be a hero. But if even All Might believed he couldn’t, there was no point in blaming her too.

He said grace, ate his food, answered his mom’s questions about his day, and then went to his All Might merch surrounded room.

Figures, plushies, toys, posters…

Izuku sighed and turned off the lights, hoping he wouldn’t be constantly reminded of his inability to achieve his dream.

——

“Don’t for a second believe you’ll get into UA, ya’ damn nerd. They only accept the best of the best. You’re worse than the worst of the worst.” Kacchan spat out, his hateful behavior ever-so evident.

Did Kacchan really need to remind him of that every single day? Was it that important to him that Izuku felt weak, that he had no friends, that he already felt like the worst? Was that funny to Kacchan. He couldn’t understand why he had the constant need to put him down, why he was angry about him being quirkless when it wasn’t even his problem. 

“I can still try, though! UA doesn’t require students to have quirks anymore, they got rid of that rule. I could be the first quirk-less person to get in.”

“Yeah, right. You’re not that talented, Deku. Keep dreaming.”

——

Kacchan had actually exploded his notebook this time. Why was he so mean? How could someone like him be a hero? Izuku knew he’d get into UA, but the fact his bully would become

a great hero and he’d have to watch from the sidelines hurt so badly he couldn’t take it.

Groaning, Izuku shoved his torn up notebook into his backpack, slinging it over his shoulders as he prepared to walk home.

‘Did you hear? Midoriya’s gonna apply to UA.’

‘The quirkless one?’

‘He’ll never make it.’

No, he shouldn’t listen to them. He’d prove them all wrong. He’d get into UA, with Kacchan, and he would be a hero. Maybe not as strong of a hero as the others that got into UA, but he could still pass the entrance exam. He could clutch in the test, and maybe if he was able to obtain a high enough score there, the physical exam wouldn’t even matter.

——

The written test was easy enough, but it was time for the physical exam now.

“Guess they’re splitting people up based on if you know them or not. You got lucky this time, damn nerd. Too bad I couldn’t crush you.”

Izuku mentally breathed in relief.

When he arrived at his exam site, in all honesty, Izuku was terrified. His opponents all looked so strong, and, well, Izuku wasn’t. Plus, those robots were huge. How was he supposed to take them down?

One by one, the talented people in his group took down the robots. If he kept wasting time like this, there wouldn’t be any left to defeat.

“Help!” A feminine voice shouted, one that Izuku recognized.

That was the nice girl from earlier. Even if he had no quirk, he still had to save her.

Izuku’s body moved on its own, and she shoved the girl out of the falling robot's way— which, however, caused the robot to land on himself.  

Ow. That hurt like hell. And time was up, too. Izuku didn’t make it. He had no points. And he thought all of his bones might be broken too. 

——

“Yes, he did rescue someone, but look. Her leg is trapped between the robot debris. And the kid who saved her is horribly injured. Someone that weak can’t be a hero, no matter their skill. Accepting them into UA is suicide.”

“I agree, Nezu. It’s best to let him find a more suitable career path.”

——

Izuku was still glad he had saved that girl, even if he had no points.

“Izuku, honey! I got your UA letter! Do you want to open it now?” His mom strolled over to him, carefully handing him the letter. “Oh baby, no matter what the result is, just know that I am so proud of you.”

Izuku nodded and gave a weak smile, ripping the letter open. He already knew the result.

Yep.

Dear Midoriya, thank you for participating! Unfortunately, your skills were not sufficient enough to enter UA. Don’t worry, there are plenty other career paths to take that work just like how heroes do. Become a psychologist, a police officer, etc. Best of luck on your future endeavors!

Inko’s eyes softened, and she brought a plate of fruit to Izuku’s table. “Oh, Izuku… I’m so sorry. I know you were so hopeful of getting in. I’ll give you some alone time, okay?”

Izuku heard the door gently clicking shut, and he started to bawl his eyes out. Why couldn’t people understand he didn’t want a career path like a hero? He wanted to be a hero. Why did jerks like Kacchan get everything they wanted in life, when Izuku, who had tried to never hurt anyone, had no possible way of achieving his dream?

Izuku fell asleep teary-eyed, the rejection letter clutched to his chest.

——

It was wrong of Kacchan to rub salt in an open wound.

“Yeah, ‘course I got in. I’m amazing. And I told you, you wouldn’t make it in Deku. You’re just not good enough.”

Tears filled Izuku’s eyes. He didn’t think he could take much more of Kacchan’s slander.

“Look, the little baby’s crying now. Bet he’s embarrassed as hell, a quirkless dumbass trying for UA and not getting in. I mean, what’d he expect.” Kacchan’s minion taunted, sneering down at Izuku as if he was so much higher and mighty.

Izuku really wanted to deck him, but he didn’t feel like getting a beating today. Instead, he went to the rooftop, eating his lunch alone. Maybe life would be better if Izuku actually had friends, but life really seemed to hate him these days.

——

The school day had been dragging on for way, way too long. The bell finally rung, and Izuku was insanely grateful to finally get away from the hell-hole that was his class.

He looked at his notebook, Hero Analysis 101.

There was no point in keeping that anymore, so Izuku swift tossed it in the trash. He slung his backpack over his shoulders, already nostalgic about the missing weight.

He began to strode home, praying he wouldn’t see Kacchan or any of his minions. There were probably heroes fighting somewhere, but Izuku couldn’t find the point in going to see them anymore. 

As Izuku turned on a corner to his house, he smelled a faint scent of something burning. 

When he finally got there, he almost collapsed out of fear and shock.

His house was on fire.

And his mom was inside. 

In any other situation, he would’ve rushed straight inside to rescue his mom. But he couldn’t even get close. There seemed to be some sort of protective shield against his house, one he couldn’t get past. He rapidly took out his phone, dialing the police and explaining the situation as he tried not to cry.

He just needed his mom to be safe.

The police said they were on the way, but a majority of the heroes were currently busy with another large-scale villain attack, so Izuku would have to wait.

Wait? He’d have to wait, while his mom could potentially be burning alive.

Izuku might not be religious, but at that moment, he prayed to every god above that his mom would be okay.

Thirty minutes had passed, and not a single hero had shown up as Izuku bawled against the sidewalk. A few of his neighbors came to Izuku’s side, trying to comfort and reassure him, but nothing was working. 

An hour passed, and finally, two heroes showed up. Backdraft and Death Arms. Death Arms broke through the shield, and Izuku instinctively aimed to get in his home with Backdraft, but his neighbors held him back.

Backdraft got rid of the fire at an impressive speed, and carried out his mom, who was….

No. No. No.

Why was his mom covered in burns?

Why wasn’t his mom’s chest moving?

Backdraft performed CPR, but still, nothing changed.

More tears streamed down Izuku’s face.

“I’m so sorry. There’s nothing we can do. I’ll take her to the hospital, but her heart has stopped.”

Izuku put a hand over his mouth to muffle his scream.

How could this happen? How could the world do something so cruel to his amazing, sweet, kind mom? Why was this happening?

“D-D-Did you catch the p-people who did it?” Izuku managed to stutter out, trying not to faint and die.

“No, unfortunately. They left before we got here.”

Izuku hear an ambulance’s sirens, and he made the assumption one of the heroes had called it.

“We’re taking your mom to the hospital now. If you want to come along, you can.”

Izuku nodded, but made no effort to move. He couldn’t. 

The two heroes gave him a pitying look, and Izuku wanted to scream at them for not arriving sooner.

The next day, he was told his mom was dead. Auntie Mitsuki offered him a place to stay, and because he had no desire to be spending time at an orphanage, he accepted.

He avoided Kacchan entirely, though. He couldn’t bear to see the looks on his face.

Mitsuki had told him not to go to school, to rest, but Izuku went anyway. Because he knew his mom wanted him to have a good education.

When he stepped into the school though, he wished he’d stayed home. He heard bits and pieces of gossip around him, the pitying whispering of students. He wanted to get out, but he forced himself to stay.

Kacchan left him alone for the entire day, but the same could not be said about his dumb, stupid minions.

“Hey Midoriya, I heard your mom got KO’d. Must suck, huh? Bet she set the house on fire herself so she wouldn’t have to deal with her pathetic son.” 

Katsuki glared at his friend, silently telling him to shut the fuck up, but Izuku had already reacted— his fist connecting with the minion’s face as he punched as hard as he could.

“You broke my fucking nose!”

Izuku felt such an insane amount of pride in being able to stand up for himself, he almost wanted to punch him again.

“Oh. Oops.”

“Oops?”

“Oops.”

Izuku covered his grin. He hoped his mom would be happy for standing up for himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kacchan hiding a small laugh too.

——

After potentially the longest day ever, Izuku arrived home. Until he saw the destruction of it, and realized he didn’t have his own home anymore. He was staying with auntie Mitsuki.

Izuku went over the caution tape, looking over the debris. Every single one of his belongings were smashed or burned. 

Izuku saw his mom’s favorite CD almost burned to a crisp.

And suddenly, all the built up anger in Izuku started to overflow, until he couldn’t take it.

His mom was dead.

His house was gone.

If the heroes hadn’t been so damn lazy, they might have been able to save his mom. Not Death Arms and Backdraft, but the heroes Izuku knew weren’t participating in the other villain attack.

The people who did this hadn’t even been caught.

Izuku decided that right then and there, he hated heroes.

He hated villains too, and he’d find the ones that did this to his mom, to his livelihood.

If he had to become a villain to do it, then he would. 

After all, if a horrible person like Kacchan could be a hero, then a nice person like Izuku could be a villain.

[prismatic-starstuff]

actually you know what i'll. give some preliminary, very spoiler-heavy, underslept and stream of consciousness thoughts about the final boss; and by the final boss, i mainly mean—

—miquella, because my thoughts on him at this moment are clearer than my thoughts on radahn. (more on that later.)

(important disclaimer: i don't ship any of the characters mentioned in this post together, and i don't condone the behaviours mentioned. this is just a bit of a character analysis and my personal thoughts at this moment; they could change.)

i think miquella is genuinely all those epithets he has; kind and tender. i think he genuinely did want to make the world a gentler place. i think he meant, in his heart, every single word he said about compassion and love.

i do not think miquella knows what compassion and love are. or how to parse and display them in a healthy way, at least.

because healthy compassion doesn't boil down to 'i'll bewitch you so you're always gentle,' and healthy love doesn't boil down to 'i want you and so i'll take you.' but in miquella's mind, he genuinely believes that this is how these things look, and so those are the tools with which he means to build his new age; truly good intentions, but horribly misguided feelings and attitudes.

in the end, i think miquella is a very sad character. both in the sense of miquella personally being very unhappy, and also the sense that... analysing him makes me sad. because i don't believe he had any bad intentions whatsoever; i don't believe he was this conniving creature with malicious desires who knew full well that he was acting in cruelty... i believe he wholeheartedly thought he was doing good.

and i believe he was scared, and lonely, and desperate.

miquella, cursed with eternal physical childhood and frailty, didn't want the godhood that hung over his head like an inescapable threat. and so, when he found someone whose kindness and strength charmed him - as opposed to him having to do the charming - he clutched onto radahn... far, far too tightly.

and that's not good. of course it isn't. i'm not condoning any of it. but i just don't think it was out of cackling evilness or badness or malice; i just... think miquella really wanted someone to be there for him during the godhood he didn't want.

now, my whole opinion goes in different directions on whether or not radahn was in on this, wholeheartedly, ready to go. if he was, then fair enough, they made a vow in their youth and radahn's no victim. if he wasn't, then yeah, he was absolutely a victim in the situation.

i'm not gonna get too deep into mohg because that's very cut and dry and could take up entire posts in itself; mohg was used. used in miquella's well-meaning plan, yes, but used. which to me is... very odd, because it's making me reevaluate every single thing i thought i knew about mohg at all. it's a weird place to be in.

another thing about miquella is that he seems very much to be a person of extremes. if he's going to claim godhood, he wants to be rid of all that came before; including who he was. he literally went through the land of shadow ripping bits of himself off and out to get rid of them; got rid of a literal half of himself in saint trina.

and speaking of saint trina... i think it is extremely telling that she - literally the other half of miquella - tells us in no uncertain terms to kill him; as a mercy. that speaks volumes about the mental state miquella must be in.

lastly, there's the question of whether that eternal childhood was just physical, or also extended to miquella's mentality. personally, i think it was just physical; what he did exhibited a lot of unhealthy behaviours, yes, but... i don't think the root cause of those behaviours was him having a child's mentality. personally, there's not enough evidence there to believe otherwise imo.

so yeah... tl;dr: miquella makes me sad. he did some very bad things, but i don't think he's a bad person, which makes it even sadder. everything about him and radahn and malenia and mohg is fucked up and heartbreaking. and ultimately, i don't believe he's a deliberately manipulative evil nasty being; rather, someone who's drowning in despair to the point of self-destruction, someone who does not want his fate but is marching towards it as best he can, someone who did truly terrible things in the pursuit of what was at its heart a very innocent goal.

[tonight-i-may-see]

"Burn." Preview (Rossi!Unsub!Reader Chapter 1)

preview under the cut (word count: 750)

chapter cws: graphic descriptions of: murder, general physical harm other cws for: disturbing thoughts, grief, parental trauma, mental illness, unreliable narrator, canon divergent plot (in terms of Krystall Richards), reader is Krystall's son, male!reader

(Note: I will post a series cw list once the first chapter is done along with individual ones for each chapter. Also if you think I need to add any cws please feel free to comment and I'll get them added!)

moodboard

It got easier, the more he did it.

Whether it was his strength improving, or muscle memory, he wasn’t sure. But still here he is now, a year into this endeavour. The first time was an accident, he’d told himself, but deep down he knew it wasn’t. Deep down he’d craved for years to get revenge on the man who had ruined him- who had left him with no chance because he wasn’t the one he wanted. He shouldn’t have survived, so he was going to make his life hell in return. 

The grave he’d stood at was small, kept in a garden with other tiny plaques and memorial pebbles- anything that could fit a name and one date on it. 28 years. An older brother that he never met, and yet for all 25 of those 28 years he’d lived through, he’d been reminded that brother was everything he’d never be-

“Richards.” A voice ripped him from his thoughts, a bored and uninterested tone accompanying the tired look on his coworker’s face. He stares blankly, clearly there was a question he hadn’t heard, and was about to hear again. “I asked how your weekend was.” 

A shrug is the only answer she gets. Not that that was anything new, he wasn’t the talkative type, which was precisely why he worked on a tech team. Less people, less interaction, less annoyance. In the time it had taken him to raise and drop his shoulders, the woman across from him had started up her daily rant about her husband and how he refused to pull his weight around the house, how she hated him but not enough to leave him because of the kids. Richards scoffed slightly, earning a pause from the unhappy wife. Fathers were a constant thought in his mind, something he both despised and craved, like picking open the same wound over and over again till it scars so deep you’re changed forever. Not some pigmented reminder of the past, but a deep, ragged fissure that goes almost to bone. Something that can’t be hidden. That’s what his father had done to him, and he wasn’t even there. 

So was it better to lose a father who was useless when he was there? Or never have one and live knowing you aren’t wanted? Does it hurt less to look him in the eye when he chooses to take no responsibility? 

Well, he thought it was better to save those kids the trouble. It was better to watch the panic in their eyes, watch the pain and tears and hear their pleading, suddenly so ready to be a father now it was life or death. They’d thank him one day, he was sure of it, and one day he’d get to see that panic in the eyes of the man who made him this in the first place- who had written so many times of sons scorned by fathers that turned to pain and death to cope, not once thinking of the baby boy he’d abandoned before he even got the chance to live happily. This was his fault. Those men could’ve lived, those kids would have had a chance too, but he was selfish. How unfortunate, truly.

The rest of the work day drags disgustingly slowly until finally he’s in his car, scanning the lot to watch his coworker get into her shitty beat up minivan. The licence plate was scribbled on a note in his pocket, having taken it down this morning, all he’d have to do is send it to one of his…friends…and they’d get him her address with the right payment. Soon enough that worthless piece of shit she’d married would be gone. If she knew his plans, she’d thank him. That’s what he told himself. Every single time.

[echoxbuggs]

Crosshair-dresser

Words count: 1.8k

Warnings: some angst I guess, fluff

To say Hunter was concerned was an understatement.

He hated it.

He hated watching his little brother sit in the house or on the porch all day without saying a single word. He knew Crosshair was still getting used to it, to being comfortable and safe somewhere, really, he did. But Hunter couldn't stop worrying about the things that could be going on in his brother's head.

It had been a few weeks since they had rescued Cross, Omega, and Tech from the hands of the Imperial scientists. He knew both Tech and Omega couldn't sleep well from the nightmares. The young girl often ended up sneaking into one of their beds during the night and clinging to them like her life depended on it.

None of them minded, of course. They all loved their little sister and would do anything to ensure she was okay. It still concerned them to a great amount.

Tech—who hadn't slept much before—definitely wasn't getting sleep now. Hunter knew he spent most of the night tinkering on odd projects or doing research on Maker-knows what. Hunter had to call Phee over several times to convince Tech to go to sleep.

Though these were both concerning, what most worried Hunter was Crosshair. He didn't seem to have any sort of mental or emotional reaction to it. Sure, he struggled with eating and moving around too much, but that was more physical. They all tried to get him to talk but he never did. A few times, they tried to get Crosshair to see a therapist, but he turned down the idea straight away and avoided everyone if they tried to take him anyway.

The sniper stayed in the house mostly, cooped up in his room like a hermit. The only time he went outside was if Omega dragged him along somewhere or if his brothers forced him to go to the doctors. He did like having occasional night walks outside. No one was ever out that late, it was peaceful. No one to bother him or fuss over him.

Crosshair huffed as he and Hunter walked inside their home. They had just gotten back from his weekly checkups. He hadn't spoken one word on the walk to the house, preferring to just not talking about it.

His 'physical therapist' had suggested he do something familiar, get back into routines. He knew Hunter was going to suggest sniping again. After all, that's who Crosshair was; a sniper. However, he no longer had his beloved rifle. His strength had deteriorated, he had actually attempted to shoot a target several times, each time missing horribly due to his lack of muscle.

So he remained quiet, choosing to avoid the subject and just get home to his room, where he could shut everyone out.

As he walked down the hall towards his cave, he heard sniffling coming from a certain blonde's room. Stopping dead in his tracks, Crosshair knocked on Omega's door softly, not waiting for an answer as he opened it and moved inside.

Over their time in Mount Tantiss, Crosshair and Omega had grown closer. He truly considered her his sister, and—he would never admit it—but he loved her dearly. He knew she struggled with the memories of that awful place, he did too, and it only troubled him more to hear the usually happy girl crying.

"What's the matter, kid?" He asked softly, noting Wrecker sitting beside the crying girl on her bed.

"Went to get her a haircut and she freaked out." The large clone explained, sighing softly as he looked up at Crosshair.

"A barber? With scissors and other equipment?" Crosshair asked, brow raising. He slowly moved closer to the two, looking down at Omega who was curled up under her multicolored blankets.

"I...I didn't think it would remind her of it." Wrecker mumbled, looking down as he realized he had unintentionally brought up some bad memories for his sister.

Crosshair sighed softly, nodding to Wrecker. "Go. I got it." He said, giving his brother a ghost of a smile.

Wrecker looked at Crosshair for a few moments before letting out a breath and standing up. He nodded to Crosshair before moving out of Omega's room, closing the door behind him.

Crosshair watched him wordlessly, sitting down beside Omega once they were alone. "Scared you, didn't it?" He asked quietly, putting a hand on where he guessed her shoulder was.

Omega nodded slightly, still sniffling under the blankets. Crosshair sighed, looking down at the girl's figure. "You're not back there, 'Meg. You're safe. We're safe."

Omega slowly peaked her head out from the blankets, puffy eyes looking up at the marksman. "I know." She mumbled, leaning into Crosshair's touch when his hand came up to gently wipe at her eyes. "S-still scared me."

Crosshair nodded, eyes soft as he looked at Omega. "I get it." He said, nodding softly. "Don't like people touching me with tools either. Even barbers."

Omega nodded softly, sniffling as she moved to lean into Crosshair's side. The sniper slowly wrapped an arm around her, humming softly. "I know what could cheer you up." He said, knowing Omega wouldn't want to talk further.

"What?" Omega asked, brows furrowed slightly as her head tipped back to look up at him. Crosshair smiled a little as he looked at her, showing her his free hand. "The black polish is coming off. Think I need a touch-up."

Omega looked down at his hand, grabbing his fingers carefully and examining them, ignoring how he had been picking at his skin again.

"I ran out of black, so only pink and purple are left." She said, frowning softly.

Crosshair chuckled softly, letting her take his hand. "Pink and purple are fine."

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Crosshair and Omega sat on the floor of her room, paper-towels, nail polish remover bottles, and nail polish scattered around them. Crosshair sat crisscrossed as he leaned against her bed, watching Omega with a small smile as she painted his nails. She was currently working on his right hand, his left propped up so it got the flow of air from the mini fan Omega had.

She had also gotten a bowl full of candy, eating some pieces every few minutes before returning to the task at hand.

Crosshair watched on patiently, commenting occasionally on the color or whether or not she should add another coat. He had noticed her hidden annoyance though; scratching at her hair frequently, huffing every time she hand to brush hair away from her face. He understood why Wrecker had attempted to get her a haircut. Her hair certainly had grown, reaching nearly past her shoulders.

An idea popped in his head at that, Crosshair tilting his head. He could trim her hair. He knew how to, of course. His brothers always had him trim their hair since he could do it extremely well. Omega trusted him too so there was a less likely chance she'd freak out.

"'Meg?"

Omega hummed softly in response, not looking up from Crosshair's nails as she applied polish.

"I can do your hair."

Hunter paced back in forth in the living room, running his hands through his hair. Crosshair and Omega had been in there for a while. He didn't hear any crying, but at the same time, that's not always a good thing.

"Cross said he could handle it." Wrecker mumbled, watching Hunter from where he sat on the couch.

"I know, Wrecker. I'm just worried. He seemed off today." Hunter said, letting out a sigh.

"He's always weird after the doctor." Wrecker said, shrugging softly. Hunter shook his head, running his hand over his face with a tired groan.

"Hunter, come look at this..." Echo called softly from the hall, peeking into Omega's room.

Hunter's brows furrowed, the sergeant moving over towards the girl's room. He looked inside hesitantly, his expression softening at the sight.

Omega was seated in front of the small vanity, a bright and curious smile back on her face. Crosshair sat behind her, a pair of bright pink scissors in one hand as he snipped at the girl's hair, a content smile on his face as he spoke. "-ou want it braided after? I can probably figure something out."

Omega hummed softly in response, not wanting to nod in case she messed him up. She was nervous at first when he suggested cutting her hair, not aware that he was skilled in the matter. The scissors part scared her at first as well, however she knew it was her brother and she could trust him not to harm her.

"You can braid?" She asked curiously, watching his movements in the mirror.

Crosshair nodded slightly, his tongue sticking out a little as he concentrated on cutting her hair evenly. "Yeah. Hunter seen it once so I had Tech search up how to." He replied, lightly brushing his fingers through her hair. "I know several braids."

"That's really cool!" Omega smiled brightly, leaning into his touch. "Can you do whichever one is the prettiest?" She asked, smiling more when Crosshair nodded.

Hunter allowed Crosshair to finish at least cutting her hair, not wanting to mess him up or distract him. He stood behind Crosshair as he watched him braiding Omega's hair, noticing the smile on the sniper's face. All previous worried about these two had disappeared, the sergeant relaxing slightly at the sight of his siblings happy. "Still got it, I see."

Crosshair glanced up to meet Hunter's eyes in the mirror for a quick moment before focusing back on his sister's hair. He nodded slightly, letting out a hum.

"You have time for another client?" Hunter asked, chuckling softly. He knew his hair was getting longer, he'd need to get a trim soon anyways.

"Sure, 100 credits." Crosshair quipped, smirking softly.

Hunter chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "Never had to pay before." He pointed out, smiling softly as he noticed his brother's attitude shining through.

"Hm, fine. More toothpicks then." Crosshair bargained, tapping Omega's shoulder lightly. The girl handed him a hair tie, her smile brightened as she realized she would see his work.

"Deal." Hunter said, watching Crosshair tie off the braid and gently move it over Omega's shoulder.

"One more condition though."

Hunter raised his brow, noticing the way Crosshair sent a smirk to Omega through the mirror. "Go on..."

Crosshair hummed softly, unwrapping the towel from around Omega's shoulders so she could get up. "You get a trim and a manicure." He said, holding out his painted nails towards the sergeant.

Hunter sent a light glare to Crosshair, sighing softly. He noticed Omega's giddy laugh, the girl grabbing her nail polish already. "Fine. Nothing too bright though."

"All she's got is purple and pink." Crosshair chuckled, gesturing for Hunter to sit down on the tiny chair. "Hot pink."

Hunter grimaced lightly, holding his hands out towards Omega as she sat on the floor beside him. "Great."

[anna-the-undertaker]

Prides Gift

- Prompt: MC accidentally summons one of the brothers with the strength of their sin. - I read something similar to this a while back from another creator, but I can't remember who it was. All I can remember is that it was about a teen MC who accidentally summoned them. The idea was very entertaining, and I wanted to give my own twist to it. - I'm only going to do one brother for now, and if it does well, I will do the others. If not, I'll let it die lol So let me know how it is. Any critique is appreciated. - MC is in their mid to late teens - I'm sick atm and my meds have made me kind of out of it so I apologize if this didn't turn out all that great or make any sort of sense lmao I'll probably read back through this when I come down from my medicinal cocktail and just think "wtf" - Not proofread - Song recommendation: Product Of My Own Design by Artio

- Edit: I did come back and read through this, and I did say "wtf" but like in a good way.

This work contains topics that some may find unpleasant. If you are sensitive to any of these, please, KEEP SCROLLING

Warnings: Small amount of physical/mental Abuse

Lucifer

The avatar of pride hated being summoned. It was a complete inconvenience. He had far too much work to do and had no time nor desire to deal with some petty humans wants or needs. Rarely ever did a human have something of value to exchange for his influence and even more rare were they even worthy enough to be in his presence.

He had become quite skilled at resisting. Only ever giving in when he truly needed to. But this time it felt odd. Different somehow, in a way he couldn't fully comprehend.

He tried to ignore it, to keep going about his work, hoping it would pass, but it persisted.

With a growl of irritation, he slammed his pen down and shoved his chair back as he stood before teleporting to its originator.

He made sure to keep himself out of sight, hiding away in the shadows, just out of a human's perception.

What he found perplexed him. Before him were two humans staring each other down. The feeling was coming from the younger one. His eyes traveled to the other.

One of their parents he presumed. They shared features with one another. In the background he saw other children.

In their hands was a piece of sheet music.

"It's not good enough!" their parent yelled. "You are a disgrace! What good is it that you're a prodigy if all you can produce is this garbage?!"

A slap echoed through the room.

The parent continued with their cruel words. Going on and on about how worthless their child was.

The young human did not cry or yell, only turned their head back to them with a fury in their eyes. Their spine rigid, chin held high, and fists balled at their sides.

It was obviously not the first time they had endured this treatment.

He felt their pride waver and anger swell within them. The smell of frankincense and amaryllis came off of them in waves and invaded his senses. The flavor of their sin was unique to say the least and it was clear to see that summoning him had not been their intention. He had half a mind to leave but he remained out of morbid curiosity.

He tapped into their thoughts.

"You're wrong. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! How dare you?! How dare you?! How dare you?! I will be better than you! I am better than you! All you want is to take credit for my accomplishments! My hard work! How dare you act as if I am inferior?! Don't crack. Don't give in. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing me broken. They must never see me weak."

It was a sentiment he was all too familiar with.

The older human sent them to their room and he followed. He let himself indulge in their sin. Let it feed him.

When their door shut and locked behind them, the humans hands flew to their hair and pulled, a growl rising in their throat. They paced around the room for a while before finally leaning onto their desk, taking deep breaths.

"Just breathe it out," they muttered to themself. "A break down won't help."

They continued this until their emotions settled within them, or rather were locked away again.

The avatar of pride stepped out of the shadows. His wings and horns on full display, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"You shouldn't hold back, human." He said.

The human jumped and whipped around to come face to chest with him before looking up to his piercing red eyes. The slight fear at the sight of him fed his ego.

"Who are you? How did you get in here?" they asked.

His chest puffed up, "Lucifer Morningstar. You summoned me. Who are you?" He demanded.

He saw recognition flash through their eyes at his name only for confusion to overtake them once more before they settled with acceptance, "MC... May I address you as Mr. Morningstar? Or something along those lines? I feel like using your first name is too familiar and a bit disrespectful."

Lucifer was surprised by their manners but didn't let it show as he gave them a slight nod of approval. Another surprise was that the fear had disappeared from them and was replaced by curiosity as they appraised him.

"You are being very polite for a human in the presence of demon," he commented.

MC scoffed in exasperation, "It is in my best interest not to earn your ire. Besides, you haven't done anything to me personally to justify rudeness."

"You aren't going to call upon god to save your soul? I can feel his influence here. Pieces of it are scattered throughout your home." The low timber of his voice vibrated through the room with an air of ridicule.

"My parents beliefs are not mine. I do not care for their god. And what good would there be in calling upon him now? He has done nothing for me and I owe him nothing. I do not need nor want his intervention."

MC walked to their bed and sat down before gesturing to their desk chair, "Have a seat if you want to, Mr. Morningstar."

His respect for the human grew just a little bit so he accepted.

"You mentioned before that I summoned you," MC began again. "How? I don't remember doing anything of the sort."

He sighed, "Simply put, my sin in you was strong enough to pull me here."

"Oh, so what now?"

He thought on it for a moment. He felt an unusual connection with the human, though he would not know why for a while yet. He couldn't help but notice the open minded air about them and their maturity and intelligence. They had the potential to be successful. A willingness to learn and persevere, to push forward and work harder were qualities he admired.

They had one immediate obstacle and that was domineering and controlling parental figures.

An obstacle he knew intimately.

"Normally, this is when you humans start stating what you desire from me, but if you are amenable, I am willing to offer you a deal."

MC watched him cautiously, "What would this deal cost me? My soul?"

"I am not some lesser demon who requires souls to gain power," He replied with a snappish tone. "I do not require yours."

"I meant no offense, Mr. Morningstar. I simply have no knowledge of demons or how deals with demons work outside the churches influence. To be honest I didn't truly believe any of it existed. What exactly are you offering and how would it work? I do not want to blindly incur debts."

He was not going to make a pact with them. They were far too young to offer immediate results or benefit him in any way, but his instincts told him that assisting this human would be in his best interest.

"It is an exchange. By giving me that which you are most proud of, I will offer you a small piece of myself that is of equal value. The power from that will make you succeed in your endeavors, but it will still require work. You must earn it."

"Aside from aiding my success, how else would this affect me personally?"

He smirked. They were perceptive as well. Good. "It will increase your pride in yourself and your work. Effectively raising your confidence and make you work even harder."

It was similar to the effects of his pact, but not nearly as potent.

"And of course, you lose any chance of going to heaven. You would be making a deal with a demon, after all." He added.

"What do you gain from this?"

"Some of the pride that you accumulate through your accomplishments will be syphoned to me."

It was an extremely simple exchange. It didn't required MC to do anything but pursue their strengths and he wouldn't have to come to human realm as often as before to meet his sins needs. It was a win-win.

The human appeared lost in thought as if having an internal debate. Then something sparked in their eyes and they stood. He watched them walk to a bookshelf in the corner of the room and pull out a binder before coming to stand in front of him.

"This is a collection of the most complex musical compositions I have written. Each of them have earned me first place in competitions all over the country. I have them all committed to memory so I have no need of a physical copy. Is this sufficient?" They asked while keeping eye contact with him.

He could see and feel the unwavering certainty in their eyes.

Without a word, Lucifer reached down and plucked a single feather from one of his wings. It settled in the center of his palm and he cast a transfiguration spell on it making it change into a pendant in the shape of his sigil.

While simple in design it was still quite large. His pride demanding that it be seen.

They exchanged items carefully.

"You must not lose that, ever," Lucifer stared them down as he stood to leave. "If you do, I will know. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good, I'm leaving. I have been here far too long and I have a lot of work to finish, and no doubt more on the way from the damage my brothers have caused in my absence."

MC looked down at the pendant in their hands and back up, "Farewell, Mr. Morningstar, and thank you."

He said nothing and disappeared back into the shadows.

But before he returned to the Devildom, he had one last thing to take care of to ensure this transaction bore fruit.

He made his way through the house until he found MCs parent.

Lucifer let his presence slip into their senses. Exuding an intoxicating aura of power and arrogance and terror that preyed on the darkest recesses of human vanity.

Then he manifested before them, his true form imposing, standing tall and lean. His entire being seemed to ripple with suppressed energy, ready to unleash his dominion on any who dared to challenge him. As he stalked his way to them, he radiated an ethereal essence, swirling hues of crimson, gold, and violet dancing and intertwining like a mesmerizing kaleidoscope of color.

But it was his eyes that captured the attention of the human before him. They burned with an intense, otherworldly fire, shining like twin suns and within their depths was a potent mix of confidence, ambition, and superiority that captivated any who dared to meet his gaze. Those who did found their own doubts and insecurities exposed, their sense of self shaken to its very core.

Even the air seemed to bend and quiver in his presence. The atmosphere crackled with palpable energy, an invisible forcefield pulsating around him and with his every step, a symphony of whispers and murmurs that danced on the very edges of the psyche followed. A chorus of both awe and trepidation that only continued to grow louder.

In seconds the human found themselves trapped as he closed in on them and the air turned suffocating. They were frozen in place, limbs trembling.

"MC and I have come to an agreement," His demonic voice slithered through the air, a chilling tone that resonated with primal malevolence. Its timbre was a haunting blend of gravelly growls and seductive hisses, capable of both commanding obedience and instilling paralyzing fear. As it echoed, the words seemed to claw their way into the human's mind, leaving a lingering sense of unease and bore the unmistakable mark of the infernal, a haunting reminder of the abyss from which it emerged.

"So if you so much as lay another finger on them or harm them in any way, I will not hesitate to come back here and tear you limb from limb, understood?"

The human nodded weakly, unable to speak.

Then he was gone.

A decade had passed since then and Lucifer had nearly forgotten about it, barely even remembering their name. Being swamped in a literal mountains of work on the daily will do that to people.

This day was an important one. He was in a rush to get things in order for the arrival of the new exchange student. Doing double checks on everything. He had already had to deal with his brothers antics: Mammon disappearing, Satan trying to sabotage him with yet another prank, having to drag levi from his room, Beel having cleared the fridge again, Asmo constant inappropriate questions about the exchange student, worrying of belphie in the attic, and the list goes on. He couldn't handle another setback, otherwise he was liable to explode.

There was one document he just couldn't find and it was driving him mad. He ripped open the draws in his desk and started pilfering through his files only for eyes to fall to a binder buried underneath.

Suddenly his DDD went off and his eyes shot to its screen to see that is was a message from Diavolo stating he had the document in question and to meet him in the student council room.

Before long he and his brothers were watching as the exchange student was summoned.

They were disoriented at first and glanced around in confusion until their eyes locked with his, and a soft smile graced their face.

His own fell to the pendant around their neck.

"It is a pleasure to see you again, Mr. Morningstar."

Part 2