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arcticdementor · 3 years ago

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Other possible Holocausts: why pro-lifers are lying to us, and why thats a good thing

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Ive had a running argument over the past few years that the raw lack of anti-abortion terrorist action proves no one really thinks abortion is murder, ie. intentional 1st degree murder of a life equal to yours or mine.

Ive always gotten pushback to quote WillyWang:

The "revealed preference" of those that oppose abortion but don't firebomb clinics and kill doctors? It won't help, you'll be made an example of in the negative sense, and civilized norms are more important than a useless symbolic point. One clinic destroyed won't end abortion, after all.

From which this Effort-post got its Genesis:

Would you say the same about those who participated in the french resistance or Warsaw Ghetto rising to Nazi Germany?

Everyone of those claims applies there: they were likely to be made examples of, they were damaging civilized norms, and any given action had relatively little to no impact.

Yet the same people who insist abortion is murder, and thus that America is committing a holocaust, yet denounce any of the people who employed violence against abortion doctors or clinics, and can’t distance themselves fast enough from any call for violence... none of those people apply the same logic to the first holocaust. None of them say the frenchmen who bombed german police stations where dangerous terrorists who deserved their executions, none of them denounce the Warsaw ghetto rising as an attack on civilization.

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If anti-abortion advocated genuinely believed a fetus was a equivalent human life to yours or mine or the little kids they see walk to school, and that this was an ongoing holocaust of American Children at a scale possibly 10x or more what was done to the jews... they wouldn’t need to come up with ad hoc reasons why they don’t resort to violence, their mind would be screaming at them to take bloody vengeance 24/7 in righteous outrage, demanding that oceans of blood and fire be unleashed that it might wash clean the horror, that nuclear fire would be be an acceptable emergency shut off to end such wanton and cruel slaughter... and if thinking through all the logic they concluded that no violence wouldn’t help and they must pursue some peaceful negotiation to stop the slaughter, then their minds recoil and call themselves cowards and the moment of coming to that conclusion would be an ongoing trauma they’d carry with them for the rest of their life, even if they knew they were 100% right. They would meet the “pro-choice” and barely be able to conceal their desire to see them dead or imprisoned... they would meet women who had had abortions and scream bloody murder at them and tell them they deserve the death penalty, the way many of the same people react when presented with women who’d murdered their children, but after their children had left the womb.

The people who were jailed for assassinating abortionists, or fire-bombing clinics would be folk heroes lionized in songs and crowd funded hagiographic documentaries and folk traditions, like John Brown, or John Wilkes Booth, or Louis Reil, or Saco and Vancety, or Huey Newton, or Malcolm X, or David Koresh, or Levoy Finecolm... or hell even just Jesse James, or Killdozer.

Americans abort on average 1 million plus babies a year... that means if abortion is murder and those are human lives, then the 50 years since Roe vs.Wade has been a worse crime than the holocaust, slavery, or the crimes of Stalin, and we’d have to consult a historian to see if they were worse than Mao (on a per capita basis, certainly)...

This would be the worse crime ever commited, the greatest mass slaughter ever perpetrated in human history, and 50 years later our society would remain committed to repeating it in the next 50 years.

If that does not demand violence, then nothing in human history ever has, no even defensive war has ever been justified, and only Jainists and Jehovah’s witnesses are morally acceptable actors. An extreme unexceedable pascifism we know the vast majority of anti-abortion advocates do not endorse, since they overwhelming supported or at-least did not conspicuously oppose the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (over a mere 3000 Americans dead, and a less than a years abortions worth of Iraqis killed by Saddam) and continue to conspicuously “Support our troops” troops that exist to carry out violence, despite their moral commitments saying they can apparently never in human history be justified.

When i say this proves “Pro-lifers” clearly do not believe a fetus is an equal human life, thats me being incredibly charitable. That is me extending a overwhelming large olive branch, that is me expressing a stupendous care and concern and sympathy and brotherly love to rival the best 19th century dinner host, the dearest of friends, a benevolent older sibling, a lover, a parent, a mother who on hearing the taped confession of her son to serial murder, doesn’t hesitate once before screaming “you monsters you’ve drugged and tortured him! What threats have you made to my grandchild! He would only say such things to save his daughter’s life!”

My claiming they are full of shit and lying to themselves, to you, and to me, is an expression of love and faith in my fellow man which until now I did not realized I possessed nor was capable of...

Because if I merely took them at their word? If I believed that they believed what they say they believe? They would be monsters.

Lets play a game called “Other Possible Holocausts”. Approximately 800,000 babies where aborted this year.

Lets imagine the US government has just announced that crime has gotten to cumbersome and that over the next 3 years it plans to execute every single one of the 2.4 million people in US prisons jails and Jeuvenile detention centres.

Lets imagine that to reform education, the US resolves to kill the bottom 1% of all 80 million students in the country based on an age adjusted standardized test every year.

Lets imagine hatred of the obese takes off, and a policy is passed to resolve America’s 30% obesity rate by the mass instituting of bounties on hunting and killing the obese... that every year 800,000 to 1.5 million tags will be issued for a fee to allow the hunting of the obese in return for monetary rewards on successful hunts and getting to keep the carcasses for meat base animal foods and the manufacture of fuel, or fat based household products. These bounty hunters become known a “whalers”.

Lets imagine the US announces its done with African Americans... if the problem hasn’t been solved since 1619, its not going to be... and so they’re going to genocide all 40 million African Americans at a rate of 2% a year, for the next 50 years.

Lets imagine opposing extremists get in charge and decide the racists rednecks have to go, and so they’ll be forming death squads to roam the South, Appalachia, and the rust belt, with the objective of killing 800,000 poor whites a year, “until the problem is solved”... with many happily stating 50 years of this would be acceptable, while others state it’d be perfectly fine to renew it another 50 years after that.

…

These are all American lives, and according to pro-lifers of equal moral value to the babies aborted every day, no better, no worse.

By saying this and by saying violence is not and cannot be justified to resist it, they are saying that their reactions to any one of the above eventualities would be to continue to live their lives as they have lived the past 50 years.

I do not know how to respond to that. Even if Abortion is truly murder of an ensouled equal human life... The Pro-choicers committing the murders don’t think it is... hell the Nazis murdered 6 million jews and a further 5 million undesirables, but they didn’t think of them as human, they thought they were monstrous and “life unworthy of life”, like a burning man begging you to shoot him so he doesn’t suffer or hurt his fellows... a mercy in a way.

Pro-lifers on the other hand claim these are equal viable human lives of equal status to yours or mine or perhaps even greater.... They’re Children.

And their reaction to the greatest mass slaughter in human history, the reaction of almost half the electorate, who regularly talk about the need to resist tyrrany and defend the weak (as both left and right in the US do, in their way), their reaction is to vote every 4 years, and have it perhaps not even be the #1 issue if the economy seems bad, they have the opportunity to vote for the first black president, or the Orangeman says something crude about Mexicans... they won’t be single issue voters even when it comes to the greatest crime ever committed in human history?

I refuse to believe it. Even I, cynical as I am, have to believe we are not that far gone, and the age of men has not come crashing down... i would believe the US capable of such a crime, but to believe that a double digit percentage of Americans could look at that, recognize the victims as their fellow humans,recognize their state and society as committing mass murder of their neighbours, future friends, and relatives...to recognize that they have a moral imperative to act on this... and then just go “welp them’s the breaks, gotta be civilized” because 9 people in black robes said it wasn’t murder?

Holy fuck. No that is not how people work, that is not how humans behave, I cannot accept that, and leftists who spent the summer rioting in response to fewer than a thousand police killings of black men a year, who remember the civil rights and anti-war movements, who kinda vaguely recall that they’re supposed to remember Huey Newton, or Saco and Vanseti, or those Rossen...something people... who like to imagine they’d have been abolitionists in the 19th century. They’re right to call bullshit.

They’re right to call the pro-lifers liars who don’t believe their own messaging, and instead just want to control women’s bodies, after a lie like that to their face, they’re right to treat them with scorn.

…

Pro-life is rescuable as a sentiment and an activist movement...

But not while it claims a Holocaust is going on and somehow magically no violence could ever be justified to resist it, thus lining up all the arguments that will allow the next holocaust to be committed without resistance.

There have been a double digit, perhaps even a triple digit number of mass murders and genocides in the hundreds of thousands or millions of people, since the 20th century. America is enabling its ally Saudi Arabia to commit one against the Yemenis right fucking now.

We need to be very fucking clear about what it is justified to do to members of a regime that commits such a crime, and what it is definitely justified to do to the immediate perpetrators of the murder. And That we will back violent resistance to such a horrible crime by the state even if it serves only to make the resister a martyr we’ll praise, or it degrades “civilization” (what civilization could remain in such a regime?), or it ultimately has no effect (it is on the survivor to try harder)... The major members of the House of Saud deserve the Gallows under international law for what they’re doing in Yemen , as do their American attaches and core enablers... and if that comes from a Judge in the Hauge or from a convoy of irregulars in pickup trucks, or from lone assassins who manage to get through to them, It is justice, and i will praise it.

What we cannot do is pretend that genocides and mass slaughter on unconscionable scales are occurring and then come up with excuses for why we should do nothing and anyone who does resist is a criminal. Or else those excuses will be the ones that allow the next real genocide in the west or on US soil to actually happen.

If there is a genocide or democide or whatever you want to call mass slaughter. You must recognize the justice the violent resistance to it, even if you personally do not participate, or you must admit you were lying about there being such a crime... to say otherwise, to say a state can commit such a crime and still retain its right to your loyalty, to say a people up to and including its victims must obey such a thing, a creature made of bureaucracy that has set its sights on massacring humans by the thousands if not millions... it is to side against the human race in a war of extermination.

And as someone whose pro-choice as they come, I’d much rather, if the pro-lifers really believe its murder, I’d much rather they start a bloody civil war, than for it to become the norm that that is ethically acceptable.

#kulakrevolt #reddit #the motte #food for thought

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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So this is definitely one of my least favorite things to do, because there’s so many people on here that need help, but if anyone has a couple bucks or a five they can spare, that would be an enormous help to me today.

For those that know my situation, as far as I know, everything is still on track for me to have the lets-pull-all-twenty-eight - of-your-remaining-teeth-at-once-it’ll-be-fun! surgery on Tuesday. I’m reeeeally looking forward to it, and also the Month of Living Without Any Teeth At All while I heal and they figure out the fittings and everything for my bionic teeth or whatever. Everything about it sounds swell. Can’t wait, it’ll be great.

SO. The plan is for me to take the bus out to the desert on Monday afternoon, reenact some of the best scenes from Saw on Tuesday morning while under hopefully heavy sedation, with fingers and toes crossed that these doctors actually listen to me for once about my ridiculous metabolism making most anesthetics wear off super fast. Because. Ugh. Doctors literally never believe me about that which has led to some pretty not cool experiences in the past, but none of those experiences have been yanking out every one of my teeth by the root all in one go, soooooooo, if ever there was a time for them to think maybe I actually know what I’m talking about and make adjustments for that, I’m pretty sure I want this to be that time.

Thanks to my keen intuition, I have predicted that this whole process is something I probably want to be deeply unconscious for, and during, and tbh, maybe a week or so after that too. But like, I’ll mostly settle for just not waking up when they’re only actually on tooth eight, you know?

If I seem like I’m babbling cuz I’m nervous, its probably cuz I’m babbling cuz I’m nervous. I’m so not kidding about unpleasant experiences with anesthetics in the past, so while this wasn’t actually my reason for making this post, while I’m thinking about it, if anyone wants to also maybe shoot a quick prayer-tweet over to whomever you might personally @ with that kind of thing, I would be super grateful for anything of that nature, like something along the lines of “Dear Merciful Higher Power/Universe/etc, if there’s any way you could see to it that Kalen spends most of Tuesday knocked the fuck out, that would be awesome, thanks!”

Its just, I’m kinda over being in excruciating pain all day every day, like, I gave it a shot, just don’t think its for me, I’m afraid I just don’t have what it takes to be a hardcore raging masochist or whatever, so I’m just really not looking to set any new personal pain records next week if at all possible.

ANYWAY, requests for spamming higher powers on my behalf aside, the other reason for this post is I only have $3 in my bank account and an appointment this afternoon whose co-pay is going to be $50. But I can NOT miss this appointment, its super critical. See, so, the other thing is, my jaw has decided its reached the point where it just doesn’t want to close at all anymore, so I’ve gone from only eating once a day to only eating no times a day, and since I’ve already lost an absurd amount of weight and muscle mass over the last two years because of all this shit, they’ve put me on a regimen of regular IV intakes or whatever that’s called, just to like....get the nutrients I need into me somehow, y’know?

And especially with the surgery coming up on Tuesday, and my immune system all shot to hell and my various other Vitally Important By-Products of Eating Food levels are low enough to have my doctor using mostly just four letter words when reviewing my latest labs, they’re literally trying to pump me full of as much of the various Nutrients And Other Stuff IVs as they safely can between now and then. And as much as I’ve been pretty much going 24/7 trying to stay afloat with all of this, I just...did NOT budget for needing to be hooked up to an IV every other day because my fucking jaw picked now to level up on being an asshole and like, physically will not cooperate with my attempts to survive on cheap $5 a day meals.

So instead this week its been $50 co-pays every other day, because apparently when your body for whatever reason literally can’t take in the cheap 7-11 snacks and Happy Meals you usually live off of because That’s How Being Poor Works, it makes total sense that the one and only alternative for keeping your body fueled is to go to this little clinic place that hooks you up like you’re at a gas station, except you’re some kinda pretentious European model that won’t accept any less than the top dollar diesel, because I guess even Bags of Nutrient Water gotta somehow manage to be name brand shit, because yay capitalism. Everything about it is just so efficient and logical and works so well, especially if you’re part of the 99%.

Anyway I’m TRULY sorry I’m all over the place with this, I haven’t taken my ADHD meds because swallowing is the Devil’s Work right now, and also I haven’t had my daily Bag of Nutrient Water yet so my brain is like no I will not be cooperating. To sum up, once I get to next week I’m all set, everything’s in place for the surgery, insurance, I have a place to recuperate, I even already have my bus ticket for Monday purchased, my specific monetary issue right now is I am literally down to my last $3, I am currently physically unable to chew my way through a full meal, so I’m literally just paying co-pays of $50 every other day to spend 45 minutes sitting in a chair while my body sucks life-sustaining nutrient water through a needle.

That might actually be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever said or heard said and yet its factually 100% true. Our world is so fucking bonkers, jfc.

Literally ANY help getting me to today’s appointment, would be amazing, and then I have one scheduled for Monday morning before I leave, if I can find a way to make that too. And tbh I don’t actually know if one is even an option for tomorrow yet because the clinic I’ve been going to so far isn’t open tomorrow and I’ve yet to hear back if my doctor found somewhere else to send me that I can actually get to. So who the fuck even knows.

So yeah, sorry for making you ping-pong your way through that mess, this is my brain on Empty, like I said, I haven’t had my Bag of Water yet today. But any help is appreciated, whether reblogs, donations or good-thought-tweets for me on Tuesday. I’m a big fan of any of the above. Even $2 or $5 gets me closer to what I need, and if you can’t spare anything or have already sent or are sending what you can spare to another donation post, I totally and completely understand. And again, even just....good thoughts for Tuesday would be awesome, and certainly can’t hurt. I’m not like, worried about the surgery or whatever, its pretty simple, its more just....extensive. And my only real hope or want for it is just keeping the Ow factor as limited as it can possibly be. Whether that’s from the doctors coming through with a good strong hit of the goofy juice or some higher power telling all my nerve endings to take a sick day or just sit this one out, I am so open to either or anything in between or even coming out of left field.

And now I’m done. Thank you. You’re all rockstars, or insert your genre of choice. In conclusion, capitalism sucks, eat the rich, and buy a bi a bag of water today please. I’m pretty sure there’s a T-shirt slogan in there somewhere, but fuck if I can pin it down.If anyone else does, hey, go nuts with it. I’m literally a bi guy who needs to buy bags of nutrient water every other day right now. That’s so fucking dumb, someone’s gotta be able to milk some mileage out of it.

My Paypal:

https://paypal.me/bigskydreaming?locale.x=en_US

Or if that link doesn’t work, try this one instead:

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme2/bigskydreaming?locale.x=en_US

My Ko-fi page: https://ko-fi.com/kalenp

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alicedoessurveys · 4 years ago

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Doctor Who Tag

yes im a nerd...

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

I was 10 when it came back on telly with Eccleston and the first episode with the autons scared me so much my mom wouldn't let me watch it again until a couple years later, but yeah my teens I was obsessed with DW... still am at age 25

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

‘Rose’

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I still have the eleventh doctor’s screwdriver... I used to have some of the figures but there in storage now somewhere

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

didn't play it on the playground

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

all of them! the ones that still scare me now are the Cybermen and the Autons... genuinely cant walk past a shop mannequin without being suspicious

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

as a kid, any of the innuendo type jokes

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

idk I think I still have the same opinions

9. Who introduced you to DW?

parents

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

I LOVED SJA!! I miss that show, and Elizabeth Slade :(

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

Ten was the doctor that made me fall in love with Doctor Who

12. Your favourite Doctor?

omg why not just ask me who my favourite child is... (I don't have kids but you know what I mean) if I had to chose my top three are ten, eleven and thirteen

13. Least favourite Doctor?

purely just because he doesn't have enough episodes... nine...

14. Best regeneration?

none of them I hate regenerations :( they make me sad, im too emotionally invested in every single one

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

they're not my faves

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

I think nine maybe? or twelve?

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

the 50th anniversary special

18. Best Doctor monologue?

“Hello Stonehenge! who takes the pandorica, takes the universe. but bad news everyone, cause guess who? HA! You lot you're all whizzing about- its really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING. Question of the hour is, who's got the pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on, look at me! No plan. No backup. No weapons worth a damn. oh and something else, I don't have anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the pandorica tonight... just remember who's standing in your way. remember ever black day I ever stopped you and then- AND THEN- do the smart thing... let somebody else try first.”

not copied and pasted, remember that from the top of my head... its always there waiting in my mind incase I ever need an epic monologue :’)

19, What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

hopefully living his best life with Rose

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

ten and donna

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Donna, Clara, Amy

22. Favourite secondary companion?

is Mickey classed as secondary? idk

23. Least favourite companion?

Ryan

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Doctor, Amy and Rory

25. Most underrated companion?

Graham, but that may just be cause I love Bradders

26. Most overrated companion?

Rose... I like her but idk, I think she gets more hype than she deserves.. don't @ me

27. Favourite companion’s family?

Rose’s mom

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

idk I cant think of anyone

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy and Rory

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

wasn't keen on Bill at first but by the end I really liked her, same with Rory

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

girl in the fireplace

32. Least favourite episode?

most of Chibnall’s episodes tbh sorry not sorry

33. Which episodes do you skip?

the regeneration episodes

34. Best two-parter?

Human Nature - Family of Blood

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

I like them all in there own way but I think present is fave, then historical, then future

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

all of them

37. Episode that will always make you cry?

Rory and Amy’s last episode :’(

38. Best run of episodes?

ugh I cant answer this theres too many

39. Best cliffhanger?

the end of Spyfall part one when the Master reveals who he is... I was SHOOK

40. Favourite Christmas special?

Voyage of the Damned

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

new who

42. Favourite series?

four or five

43. Least favourite series?

eleven, I just cant with the writing

44. Which series do you skip?

none

45. Favourite series opening?

eleventh hour

46. Favourite series finale?

Doomsday

47. Best series arc?

Bad Wolf

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I adore Jodie Whittaker and her doctor, and although I think 3 companions is too many I do love Yaz and Graham (Ryan is hit & miss). I just think theyve been massively let down by the stories/writing... they’ve tried to hard to tick certain boxes and completely missed what Doctor Who is about for a lot of people.. an escape from the real world into these outrageous unbelievable but lovable fun alien adventures

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

not a lot

50. Who should have had another series?

NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

the master

52. Most creative monster?

Weeping Angels, whoever came up with monsters that look like statues and only move when you're not looking at them is genius

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Autons, Cybermen, the creepy dolls from Night Terrors, the ones from Waters of Mars, Weeping Angels

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

idk

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

absorbaloff

56. Monster you want to return?

The Master, I really hope that isn't the last we see of Dhawan

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

being genuinely scary,

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

Weeping Angels

59. Best Dalek story?

Daleks in Manhatten

60. Best one time villain/monster?

my brain has gone blank I cant think of an answer right now

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

I haven't watched it all so I couldn't say

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

again, not watched it all

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

huh

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Sarah Jane

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

K-9

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Nope

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

n/a

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

yes

DESIGN/PRODUCTION

71. Favourite piece of alien tech?

the sonic, I love how it is so multipurpose except for when it comes to wood

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music?

I am the Doctor - gets me pumped every time

73. Favourite TARDIS design?

Ten’s Tardis

74. Has the 2005 era CGI aged well?

actually yeah, I was rewatching the ‘are you my mummy’ episodes the other day and my God when the gas masks emerged from the faces... ooooooof I was like omg how

75. Favourite Doctor outfit?

eleven or thirteen

76. Monster with the best design?

not really a design more of a costume.. I live Dhawan master’s costume. that shade of purple, oof he so stylish

77. Best show runner?

idk

78. Best writer?

Gatiss

79. Best opening titles?

eleven’s titles where the Tardis is flying and being zapped is cool but thirteens music hits different

80. Will DW age well/stay popular in the future?

I hope so, I feel like its lasted this long surely it can last forever.. if the writers don't fuck it up...

IF YOU WERE IN THE SHOW

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor?

whatever time means Id get to wear the most beautiful costumes

82. Planet/place you’d want to go with the Doctor?

Galifrey, pre-desctruction

83. Doctor you’d most like to travel with?

any of them, please and thank you

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with?

donna, sceso a good laugh but also I feel like she’d look after me

85. Monster you’d like to defeat/fight?

The Master

86. If you could go back on your own history (like Father’s Day), where would you go?

back to when I was a toddler, I wanna see what I was like

87. If you could ask the Doctor anything, what would you ask?

theres too many to ask

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet?

Shakespeare

89. How do you think you’d meet the Doctor?

id probably be rescued from doing something stupid and then the doc would be like you know what the bitch clearly needs supervision she's coming with me

90. Would you travel forwards or backwards in time first?

backwards

IF YOU MADE THE SHOW

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW?

Hamilton

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW?

idk

93. Who would you completely erase from the DW universe?

Ruth

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to?

where is Clara now?

95. Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor?

Phoebe Waller Bridge (or Lin Manuel Miranda)

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

Andrew Scott (yes I did just basically recast fleabag and hot priest)

97. Is DW “too political”?

series 11 got a bit like that

98. Which characters fate would you changed?

Danny Pink

99. What about DW could be improved?

I think ive made my options about Chibnall pretty clear...

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do

bring back Jenny, the Doctor / Daughter adventures they would have. I’m actually writing a fic about it if you wanna read.... here

#doctor who #tag #doctor who tag #doctor who questions #survey

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buggie-hagen · 4 years ago

Note

The space asks - do them all!

oh my goodness. okay, will do:

constellations: personality

ursa major: what are the character traits that define you the most? Both quiet and loud, sad and joyful, hardworking and lazy. paradox defines me.

ursa minor: do you have hobbies or interests that no one knows about? an interest that no one knows about is anime and manga.

draco: what is the thing you like least about yourself? my weight.

lacerta: what is the thing you like most about yourself? my smile.

cepheus: do you vibe more with the term idiot, asshole or dumbass? asshole.

hercules: how are you with people? who is your favourite person? it’s interesting because part of me is social shy, but generally i am warm and friendly with people. my favorite person is two rock people who live in a mountain.

lepus: what is your biggest flaw? my self-hatred.

corvus: what are 5 things you appreciate about yourself? 1. my reading 2. my theology 3. my seelsorger stuff 4. my mild interest in Japanese culture 5. that i don’t think politically like others

orion: what element would you like to be able to bend? fire.

hydra: are you the villain? i’m my own worst villain.

cassiopeia: take a random personality quiz on the internet and give us your result. the more obnoxious the better. no.

centaurus: if you could fist fight one historical figure, which one would it be and how hard would you punch them? no.

gemini: which character (fictional or not) is your spirit animal? Jughead played by Cole Sprouse.

lupus: which one do you identify more with: thoughtful idiot or thoughtless brains? thoughtful idiot. i guess.

scutum: you acquire a death note. what are you going to do with it? my understanding of death note comes from the anime of that name. so, if i found such a notebook, i would burn it so it would not be used to harm people.

Do you side more with the idea of Deontological Ethics or Utilitarianism? I don’t know these very well. I would guess I would have issues with both of them.

stars: interests

aldebaran: what is your most obnoxious interest? David Archuleta.

algol: favourite planet? favourite space object? I like earth because it has water. I like the moon.

61 cygni: favourite time period? probably medieval Europe.

castor: favourite band/artist? Currently, Winter Aid.

pollux: draw the art cover of your favourite album/song. Not right now.

riegel: put your music on shuffle and give us the first five songs.

“Have I Told You” by Matthew Mole

“A Song About Love” by Jake Bugg

“Waiting” by Jake Bugg

“How Soon the Dawn” by Jake Bugg

“Take Yours, I’ll Take Mine” by Matthew Mole

betelgeuse: which video games gives you nostalgia for a place you have never been to? n/a

agena: what is your favourite moment from a game? n/a

deneb: you can turn one book into a movie,tv show or video game. which one are you picking? The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco

atair: why is your favourite book, well, your favourite? do you have a favourite quote from it? Right now I don’t think I have a favorite book.

prokyon: grab the nearest book, to to page 145 and give us the first sentence. i am not around my books at this moment.

acrux: where and when do you like to read the most? I like to read at coffee shops, and ideally the morning, but usually the afternoon.

spica: when do you consider a movie “good”? When it can make me cry.

antares: think of a movie which means a lot to you, now describe the first scene that comes into your mind! That scene from Love, Simon where Simon’s mom says, “You get to exhale now, Simon.” https://youtu.be/1QUzRn7yH6I

proxima centauri: if you would have the chance to travel the world, which places or countries would you like to see? Scotland, Ireland, Norway, New Zealand, Japan, China, Germany, Israel. Kazakhstan. Mongolia.

algol: you have to assassinate someone. which weapon do you choose? i don’t want to answer this questin.

mimosa: what do you associate with your favourite colour? the ocean.

sirius a/b: what’s your favourite sound and smell? favorite sound is trombone. favorite smell is fresh baked bread.

space objects: experiences

quasar: do you feel alone? absolutely alone.

pulsar: when do you feel truly alive? when i’m laughing.

wormhole: what is the shadiest/most illegal thing you have ever done? date a guy who grew mushrooms in his basement. (back in my college days).

black hole: what has hurt you in the past that you don’t want others to go through? my stepfather’s alcoholism.

white dwarf: post a picture or video from your favourite trip! no.

nebula: what is an experience you would rather forget about? growing up.

star cluster: what is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year? in the past year i have gained some more confidence, i have lost any high anthropology that lingered within me, and i have let go of the idea that someone i love would fall in love with me.

planet: have you ever lost something important, such as your passport, keys or a phone? all. the. time.

moon: “A man is made of memories. It is all we are.“ (Lawrence) what do you think this means? Do you agree? I think it means that who we are is shaped by our past experiences. I agree, with the exception of how faith can shape you and that comes from outside oneself and not from the memories.

comet: you have the chance to undo one thing or decision in your life, would you take it? If you are comfortable sharing: what did you change? I wish I had did my undergrad in geography.

asteroid: have you ever lost a friend? do you wish you would still be friends? yes and yes/no

meteor: have you ever eaten dirt? if yes: on a scale from 0 to 10 would you do it again? no.

rocketry: academia

saturn v: what are you currently studying/what do you wish to study? currently am studying theology. i always am. i wish i could study geology.

delta iv heavy: what is your favourite thing about your degree course? well my last degree I completed as Mastery of Divinity in May 2019. I frickin’ love theology.

heavy falcon: what is a subject you are highly interested in but you would never study yourself? astronomy, just don’t have the time.

sea dragon: if money, admissions and other factors would not be a problem, where and what would you like to study? In the past, I would have liked to study abroad. either in Scotland or Germany.

atlas v: favourite theorem or concept? communicatio idiomatum

soyuz: language(s) you would like to learn? Spanish, Irish, Norwegian, Japanese.

MECO: how do you take notes? Whatever my brain tells me to write down. I’m so good at it now I don’t know how I got here. I think I’m just good at distinguishing between what’s important and what’s not important.

SECO: what are your essentials for studying and note taking? coffee. excitement for the topic.

RCS: how do you stay focused and productive? coffee. when i can lower my anxiety levels i can focus better and be productive. basically, when i am successfully focused and productive i am methodical and categorical.

RP-1: favourite classes or subjects you took or are taking? music, Lutheran confessions, church history, geography, earth science.

gas-generator cycle: what are the topics you like learning about the most? Lutheran theology. Biblical languages (though very painful).

partial-flow staged combustion cycle: what are the topics that interest you the least? Math. Social justice ghouls.

full-flow staged combustion cycle: your biggest student-sin? as in something you feel guilty about? Back when I was in college I took a music class called Aural Skills and NEVER practiced my aural skills. I would do it now.

RS-25: what do you carry in your backpack? books, weekly planner, laptop, pens, headphones, omeprazole.

RD-270: Do you need silence to study? or do you like to listen to music? if so, what is your go-to study-playlist? both. one of my favorites to listen to is the YouTube station “Homework Radio”

Merlin: what does your study-space look like? usually a coffee shop these days. also my office where i have access to my desk and my library. back in seminary, I LOVED studying in the Regenstein Library of the University of Chicago. So many cool places there to study.

Raptor: do you study at home or do you prefer to study at the library/in cafés? library/cafes. i never study and hardly ever read at home.

F-1: this is a free one. ask any question you’d like. what question do you have, dear one?

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marcazoshop · 4 years ago

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I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt

This photo is from way back in ’98 at my first headline nyc show at tramp’s before the start of this very wild ride with the slim shady lp with jimmy and dr dre definitely a I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt special time I looked back on after watching the premiere of thedefiantones in la the series starts on hbo tomorrow night also be on the lookout for this limited merch to celebrate the premiere. ️ ️ ️ ️ ️ no one has to know your age unless you want to share says fan linda about her eye lift pro experience what else gives you a lift our vote goes to chocolate chip cookies comment below your avon representative is ready to come 2therescue with your eye lift pro. Playing the super bowl last year was indescribable it changed my life so excited to see what justin s going to do I know it will be amazing sb52 superbowl superbowl52

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So this is going to be a bit long but bear with me I had what I believe to be a pointless and incredibly frustrating experience with the assistant manager jamie at your auburn hills great lakes crossing location today I have been coming here for three years I frequent your orlando san marcos and new jersey locations as well at least once a year when we stop we usually spend 5 to 10 thousand dollars on your products the system is simple I go in park in a corner and bring bins to my corner sort them bag them move them to the front register and repeat today I brought a personal duffel bag as it holds about 8 to 12 of your bags worth of stuff I get told that i’m not allowed to use it because it’s policy not a big deal at all I say okay i’ll do that for the rest rather than rebag all of this i’ll just go up in line and pay for it and it can sit behind the counter seems pretty reasonable to me nope I got obstructed suggested that I might be stealing something and not allowed to pass stating if I don’t want to follow the system I can leave he then takes my entire duffel dumps it onto the floor and then rebags it into victoria secret bags then moves it to the front counter so it can be rang in I thought this was a little odd but hey he was doing all the work rebagging it so whatever i’m like dude i’m going to be spending about 8k today all I want to do is come in spend some money get out without any drama what’s the problem whoevers in charge should be thrilled with a sale like this we’re spending 8k keep in mind that I told him that I would do what he wanted and it wasnt’ a big deal and the response was to the effect of stop being lippy and just listen I told him what do you want from me I just agreed with you and said I would use your bags i’m not being lippy at all I know this because I said okay dude not a problem i’ll use your bags his response was maybe if you get to buy it i’m like what are you suggesting that an 8 000 order is something you guys don’t want he’s like yeah if you buy it i’m like dude we are spending 8k today why would I bag up a bunch of stuff and spend 2 3 hours picking our your fabulous product to not buy it anyway so I had 4 credit cards one card had 2 000 one had 3500 one had 2000 and one had 1000 because I am buying for multiple people I had 4 different cards all in my name I wanted one receipt for each card not a big deal to me right wrong again he cited some policy and said if the order is more than 750 items that they aren’t allowed to ring in under 750 items on any one receipt id like to point out that that amount is higher than your employees said they could take as a cash payment I asked him to please show me that I would understand better if I could just read it he was willing to do so he brought out the policy book and to my surprise what it actually said was words to the afffect of cash payments cannot be split up or over 750 items I forget the second half my immediate reply was so what’s the big deal im using credit not cash he snatched the policy book away from me at that point and said you know what you can just listen to me or I don’t have to let you buy anything it’s up to my discretion I then called your orlando outlet and your new jersey outlet and talked to the store managers and cited your policy I was given I asked them to confirm if that was accurate and both said if it was a policy it was news to them I then asked if they would let me buy my order using 4 cards and 4 receipts the woman at orlando said oh my gosh yes we do that every single day I asked if I went to her store if I would have any trouble with this in the future and was told no then she said you can always come down here if you’re in the area and i’ll be happy to take your order after that phone call I tried again here’s the video of that attempt I said listen I have 4 credit cards your register girl said you told her she can’t ring up an order under 750 items that’s 3500 if it’s 5 items not all of my cards have that much I have done multiple receipts every time I came here heck I can even supply them to show it he tells me that because I am order so many items that I can’t have less tan 750 items per receipt so I point around to everyone else and ask what about everyone else you aren’t forcing them to spend a minimum of 750 items what about the final charge i’ll have 750 items for two tickets but the leftover isn’t going to be 750 items you’re not going to let me buy them he shrugged his shoulders to say no at this point I haven’t yelled ive been a bit snarky and sarcastic because I know he’s just giving me a hard time two people ring in our order almost every time I am up there and we were there 3 times in the last 6 months spent a bunch each time so at 730 8pm or so we are done shopping assuming that two people could ring us up ended up being a fantasy he forced one employee only to ring us up later on he comes up when its now close to 9pm and says hey you mind if we ring you up on both registers I chuckle and say no I don’t but you do you don’t want to be breaking that 750 rule do you he glared at me and then sent the employee away and walked off after blinking a few times I laugh because after telling me over and over he couldn’t do it he just got caught trying to do what should have been done to begin with a short while later after 9 I find out that everyone is standing uip front except for the one girl and another associate because none of the rest of them are allowed to help her ring us up the only two people left in the store with about 700 more items to be rang in if that’s not enough since it was a holidy all of these employees are apparently being paid overtime to stand around and wait at a bit after 10 all but two girls leave and one girl is waiting to count cash while the other girl sits and keeps ringing stuff in we apologize profusely we expected two employees to ring us up like always and timed our visit to be out around 9 if this had happened instead of having one literally stand there and watch her for 1 hour and 47 minutes after close we would have all been out on time and no overtime or extra hours spent so finally at 10 47 pm our orders are done we thank the lovely girl lauren and jasmine who got stuck staying 2 hours past close because a manager made up some random policy and had to double down when I pointed out he really needed to follow that 750 rule when he was going to toss another girl on the register if this is policy fine it doesn’t seem to be no manager at your other outlets knew what he was talking about the orlando one insisted that the only restrictions are on cash payments and verified I was paying cash or credit it’s a pretty humiliating experience to get hassled trying to buy panties and bras by someone who’s on some type of power trip the only thing I said sideways to him was that I flat out didn’t believe his policy and that credit absolutely is not the same as cash I didnt call him any names scream at him or did anything to disrupt the store beyond what you see in the videos if this is not policy i’d like an apology from that manager in person or over the phone admitting he was mistaken I would hope that the next time I go there I am not hassled but if not I guess there’s always orlando or new jersey who seem to be quite friendly I also want to give recognition to jasmine and lauren lauren is the poor soul who got stuck ringing everything in alone because of the manager’s silly rule and not allowing anyone to help because it would be in violation of the 750 item rule jasmine was the cash counter who had to wait until we were out of the store to count cash even more interesting is that I had a former employee with me helping me buy and she said she never heard of this policy either but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t added since she left she was just as confused because the manager spent over 30 minutes trying to explain and defend this when that time certainly would have been more efficiently spent doing productive things instead of hassling someone who literally sits in a corner and speaks to no one while sorting through your products one bin at a time id love a call back about this or to find out what exactly is going on ive never been hassled like this before and it was a little frustrating and very trying to keep my cool joe rossetti alexandria gunn See Other related products: I Am A Simple Woman Dog Paw Flip-Flop Wine Trucker T-Shirt

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aggressiveviking · 5 years ago

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Okay so your art is really good and you are so productive, do you ever just get in a funk and don't draw? How do you deal with that?

thank u so much ❤ i really do try to stay productive.

ive noticed that whenever i end up not doing anything, the longer i don’t do anything, the harder it gets to start again. its so much easier not to do anything - but that with itself brings the issue that, yeah its easier but it doesn’t bring you as much joy as when you do something. // also i’ve noticed that consistently drawing more helps improvement very fast. your hands get used to the motions and you manage to find your flow with ease, your lines get bolder, free, they hold more movement, etc

recently i suffered from a bit of insomnia and basically for almost a whole month i couldn’t sleep normally. while that lasted i drew as much as i could just because it made me feel better and i figured if i cant sleep at least i can do something with myself. this is a 5-10 min sketch i drew back then (the whole page took me that long!)

[i do not recommend not sleeping to improve your art!! this is just an example of how i noticed how much improvement i had from (maybe a bit extreme) constant drawing]

i can’t for the life of me draw hands this nice even if i sit down right now and spend 30 min on them

this past week or so however i’ve been experiencing as you say a funk. i’ve been having a hard time doing anything - drawing, writing, even reading or watching movies, even just browsing and engaging in my accounts (stuff that i usually enjoy doing) my brain is being a bitch i guess.

i too am a regular human and sometimes i just can’t really do anything when i get into a mood like that. i’ve had all my friends tell me to just take my time and rest cause maybe this is a sign from my body that i need rest. i accept that, but at the same time i feel dread that if i stop i won’t be able to start so i’ve just been forcing myself to keep my hands busy whenever i find myself just sitting and staring at the wall - not really doing anything complicated; basically just doodling small easy stuff, that i might find fun. just a few days ago i finally got my set of POSCA pens and ive just been playing with them because they are so fun to play with. like for example this tiny steve

its not something i would usually draw, but i had fun drawing it and im actually thankful i dont feel like doing something too complicated. this is helping me explore stuff i dont usually do. and just exploring, doodling, having fun with it, sometimes SPARKS an inspiration to draw.

so that’s the advice i can give you when you get into a funk. force yourself to do something, anything, try to just have old fashioned fun with it - as if you’re in high school and you’re doodling in your friends notebook during class lmao

#ask #yes. those are dacre's hands #damn sorry for the extremely long answer #i hope this helps tho #and motivates you to try and keep being productive every day #just looking back at your art #seeing your own improvement #can be an incredible motivator #wastingtime draws #myart #billy hargrove #steve harrington

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chasing-rabbits · 5 years ago

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What made you go vegan originally?

Well I was vegetarian after being basically woken up to the truth. I was quite naive and sheltered I guess? Maybe cos I saw cows grazing outside my window we lived next to a small farm and all I ever saw was animals grazing never saw anyone take them away from the field outside my window.Then honestly by this point I was 18 when I went vegetarian. at 15ish I had been seeing doctors I saw 3 different ones I was underweight the dentist thought I was bulimic due to the damage on the back of my teeth from throwing up so much. I complained that when I even try to drink cups of tea I’d often lose the ability to swallow. It didnt effect breathing or anything just I couldnt swallow properly.They said there is nothing for it. Its IBS by the time I saw the 3rd Doctor. When I went vegetarian for the animals some of my symptoms improved I later found out my mum was intolerant to meat and so am I. However when I went to university I went vegetarian the summer before uni started.I ended up eating more junk food and more cheese based foods. At home not by any conscious means but I guess i was eating no where near as much dairy as at uni. I was getting so sick then one day I looked up milk allergies and how they diagnose it. I found out they get you to go dairy free for just over a month the time required for your body to completely get rid of all dairy traces and then they reintroduce it. I didnt exactly plan to reintroduce it as I was eating plant based for just over a month when we went away on holiday to bruge now this was around 5 years ago. They barely understood vegetarian let alone vegan. One day I gave up after literally a few hours finding some where to eat. I ate a bite of cheese pasta and felt light headed dizzy and was wheezing worse than my mum who has asthma.At that point it was clear I have a dairy allergy which has recently been confirmed by a dietitian I am seeing for possible celiac now. Just got the blood test done on that earlier this week.Anyways around that time I was looking into veganism just anything I could find out about it from nutrition to the why. I was genuinely unaware of the baby chicks getting killed for eggs or the dairy cows being pregnant continually to produce milk and the calves being killed as veal and such as ‘waste’ products.I saw Earthlings I cried a lot and that was it really. Because i mean i couldve still had eggs as a vegetarian and be no dairy. But seeing what happens to one day old chicks even now I just want to just no...it makes me teary eyed thinking back to what I saw happen to them. So since then really i’ve been vegan there have been two times where I broke this both times mostly affected by my mental health. I have bipolar and borderline PD and uhh I have issues surrounding certain things and I made poor decisions for about a week or so the two times it happened.Some people cuss me out for this and shit on me but I feel like look whilst mental illness is not an excuse when you’ve developed an unhealthy relationship with food due to years of being scared to eat and being accused of having anorexia. becoming obssessed and fixated on calories and food and intake. When that turns dark and goes the opposite and becoming obssessed with losing weight and then you get put on medication that makes you go from 7st 5ish lbs to over 14 and a half stone in less than 6 months.it’ll fuck with you. I was very underweight and to go from that to double it almost in such a short amount of time I guess just triggered that past behaviours in me. To do anything to lose weight. The medication made me so hungry and I’d get so upset I’d binge eat my emotions away. Then I saw Keto and thought okay I’ll do this. Actually my reasoning behind it was because I am intolerant to meat and I used to think to myself if only I could get the same effect as I did when i ate meat. And then i ended up doing keto and eating meat. See meat would bloat me up after a couple bites i physically couldn’t eat more. I had some really destructive behaviours and thought patterns back then. I basically wanted to make my body bloated and in pain and sick so that I couldn’t eat and would bypass binge eating emotionally and lose weight fast. It didn’t last long before i woke up and was like holy shit Erin not only are you damaging your body you’re hurting animals and I snapped out of it. The other time I dont remember what happened I think it might’ve been when I was manic. Unfortunately when I am manic aside from last year every other year ive had a manic episode ive not been lucid Im very much not as aware or in control in that I feel like im almost an outside watching in but i cant keep up. And then even now I cannot remember the mania I had the year before last its so hazy to me I remember very little of it. Last year was the first year i was with it lucid and able to remember it. Which honestly was weird because its like you see yourself doing the stuff except you still struggle or cannot stop it. So its still really odd and because youre aware of what you are doing but lack the ability to often prevent the actions people don’t quite get it its like how can you be so aware yet keep doing it.Anyways I got sidetracked! I guess i feel i have to explain why I ended up twice in the 5yrs ive been vegan going back to meat. But yeah I am not at that point anymore in my life where I have those negative behaviours surrounding that particular issue at least thank god. So I found veganism through health issues and stayed for the animals and ethics. Honestly though if someone watches Earthlings and doesn’t go vegan I dont know how that even happens its so the most upsetting unsettling devastating video to watch and a real reality check to what truly happens.

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goodticklebrain · 5 years ago

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Q&A August with Sam White of Shakespeare in Detroit

The only trouble with living in Michigan is that almost all my Shakespeare friends are elsewhere. I live in a little Shakespeare-less bubble, connected to my fellow Shakespeare geeks only through social media, with no local Shakespeare community to turn. Or at least that was the case until Melinda Hall, a New York based Shakespearean, volunteered to connect me with Sam White, the founder and artistic director of Shakespeare in Detroit, a homegrown Shakespeare company just 40 minutes down the interstate from me.

A few days later I was selling my wares at a local artist festival when I got an e-mail from Sam saying she was coming to see me. Sure enough, a short while later Sam bounded up to my table and introduced herself, and I’ve been a huge fan of her ever since. I’ve since gone to see as many Shakespeare in Detroit productions as I’ve been able to, including their production of the Play On! Twelfth Night translation, and I am so excited to see them transition to a permanent performance space.

I am totally in awe of Sam. She wears so many hats (administrator, producer, director, educator, artist, author, entrepreneur, the list goes on and on) that even just thinking about all the things she’s juggling at at one time makes my brain want to shut down. It’s an overused cliche to call someone your hero, but she truly, genuinely is one of mine.

Take it away, Sam!

1. Who are you? Why Shakespeare?

I am Sam White. Shakespeare because my momma told me so. My mother introduced me to the Bard when I was 8 years old and that was the catalyst of my life's work which has manifested Shakespeare in Detroit. Rap music was not allowed in our home but books and theatre were absolutely loved and shared by mother, and so I inherited my love for Will because of her insistence to have her children think outside of the confines of our neighborhood and family dynamics.

Mya interjects: So, a few months after I first met Sam, she was interviewed on local TV about Shakespeare in Detroit, and talked about how she was introduced to Shakespeare. I was surprised and delighted to see what she had decided to wear for the interview:

youtube

2. What moment(s) in Shakespeare always make you laugh?

I laugh at a lot of moments in Shakespeare. I think Henry IV Part 1 is fun and hilarious to read and watch because of the antics between Hal and Falstaff. I love friends who know how to give each other a hard time but also love each other through hard times.

3. What's a favorite Shakespearean performance anecdote?

Hmmm. I am not sure. I think I am always blown away by the fact that I thought the only people that would show up for Shakespeare in Detroit's first performance would be my mother and a couple of stray squirrels at Grand Circus Park. The fact that 500 people showed up to see a performance of Othello always amuses me and makes me really grateful.

4. What's one of the more unusual Shakespearean interpretations you've either seen or would like to see?

I think I find traditional Shakespeare to be unusual. I am a huge proponent for classical work being very classical and period. But I like a few modern surprises in the work I see. For example, Will would've have used modern music in his shows if he were working today and I try to do the same no matter how many corsets or doublets are onstage. I think not being aware of the tastes and accessibility for new audiences is quite unusual.

5. What's one of your favorite Shakespearean "hidden gems"?

Cymbeline is underrated. I love a story about a woman loving who she wants and defying the patriarchy. I feel you, Imogen.

Mya interjects: I knew there was a reason I liked Sam! Yes, Cymbeline is TOTALLY a hidden gem, and Imogen is the gem in that play.

6. What passages from Shakespeare have stayed with you?

“In peace there's nothing so becomes a man as modest stillness and humility; but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger." That's my mantra, currently. I pick my battles wisely in art and business. Being a black woman, leading a classical arts organization, can be stressful and you receive a lot of, let's say, opinions from the old guard. I've learned what to ignore and what to fight for.

Mya interjects: Let’s not mince words here. The Shakespeare world is white. While many institutions are working hard to change that, it remains very, very white. When I’m consistently one of the only people of any percentage of color in a room, you know you’ve got a problem. I can’t emphasize to you how important it is for me to have discovered Shakespeare in Detroit, a classical arts organization that is not only lead by a woman of color, but whose staff and company are more often than not over half people of color. Keep imitating the action of the tiger, Sam.

7. What Shakespeare plays have changed for you?

I used to love Othello. I still do and I'll probably produce it again soon. But in many ways I get traumatized by it. I often feel like an "only" in my own classical world and the language punches me in the gut nowadays.

8. What Shakespearean character or characters do you identify the most with?

Imogen. I live by my own rules. I create what I want to create. I love who and what I love. And even when folks try to take that away from me, I always find my way back. Things always work out in Divine order. I love that woman! I should also say, I identify with Falstaff a bit as well. I am quite sarcastic and silly and I won't turn down a delicious cocktail.

9. Where can we find out more about you? Are there any projects/events you would like us to check out?

You can find out more about me and my work at shakespeareindetroit.com. We have a lot up our sleeves and that's the best way to stay in touch with us. You can also tweet us at @shakesinthed or me @detroitsamwhite.

(Back to Mya) Sam didn’t even scratch the surface of all the stuff she’s done and is currently doing, so I’m just going to have to trumpet some of her awesomeness here for her.

Sam just directed the Utah Shakespeare Festival’s current production of Twelfth Night, which is running until September 7th.

Last year she was assistant director for the Stratford Festival’s production of The Tempest, and the year before that she was the Nicholson Arts Management Fellow at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.

So, in case you’ve lost track, she’s worked at three of the biggest Shakespeare theatres in North America in the past three years, while simultaneously running Shakespeare in Detroit. NO BIG DEAL.

She’s also on the advisory board for Statera Arts, a foundation working to address gender disparity in the arts.

You can read more about Sam’s journey with Shakespeare in Detroit in this article from Forbes: Is Shakespeare the Key to Detroit’s Recovery? A interview with her also appears in Shakespeare Magazine, coincidentally right before an interview with me. We Michigan Shakespeare artists stick together!

There are also a lot more interviews with Sam, both video and print, on the Shakespeare in Detroit press page.

If you want to be cool, like me, you can support Shakespeare in Detroit on Patreon.

COMING NEXT WEEK: Two of my nearest and dearest Shakespeare friends and mentors: my Shakespeare Fairy Godfather and my indefatigable pocket dramaturg.

#Q&A August #shakespeare

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ertrunkenerwassergeist · 5 years ago

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Dreams of Our Past - Chapter 27

*flails around* The chapter is done! It’s the second longest so far and the second half was fighting me until the end. But I prevailed! Here’s the Link to AO3.

In which Gladio invites Ignis to dinner and he finds a dearly missed person because of Iris.

Featuring: Ignis' brand of awkwardness, the starscourge, the tempers of Gladio and Hiemi, Noctis being so very close to a mental breakdown and Somnus and Bahamut being dicks through history

Warning: vomiting, mentioned child murder

Gladio IV

8.5.755 ME

Insomnia, Ghetto

Kingdom of Lucis

The days since their meeting at the Black Saffron had been nerve wrecking and uneventful. It grated on him like nothing else. He had thought, after they had all finally decided – more or less, he was aware enough to admit – on a course of action, things would start to move again. They hadn't. And Gladio didn't like it. At all.

He stood near the door to the pitiful office of Camp No. 5 and watched the people mingling about. More specifically was he watching Prompto, who sat grinning like a loon on a camping bed, a laptop in his lap and... did something while a group of people watched over his shoulder. Gladio really hoped the blond didn't play some kind of game. He was supposed to search through the pictures he had taken over the last few days and upload them on a dummy account by the end of the day.

Here was to hoping the whole crazy plan was going to work. It was a shame Pelna wasn't here right now, but he had finally found the time to talk to his contacts, and had gone to get the ball rolling on that whole facial recognition thing.

It wasn't that things weren't being done, really, it was just that they were moving along so slowly.

Gladio felt like he was treading on the spot, not moving forward no matter how much he wished to. It was frustrating beyond belief.

Before he realized what he was doing, he had fished his phone out of he pocket and weighted it in his hand. It couldn't hurt to call Ignis, making sure the man didn't overwork himself like he was prone to do. Maybe he had managed to find something that would help Gladio figure out what he could be doing in this stinking mess. Not that is was very likely, but a man could hope.

The phone rang once, twice, then a click sounded and a cultured voice drifted through the speaker: “Good morning Gladio. Was there something you needed?”

“Barely morning anymore, Ignis”, the older snorted.

A non-committal hum could be heard. The former advisor could be very peculiar about his greetings. A voice sounded in the background on Ignis' side. It was decidedly feminine, even if Gladio couldn't make out any words.

“Oh no, it's perfectly alright, Miss Aster. I am talking to a friend. Thank you for your wonderful help”, Ignis said.

Gladio couldn't help the grin blooming on his face. “Should I call you later, lover boy?”

Ignis gave an undignified snort. “I am at work, Gladio”, he said, stressing the word work like that was the important part. “Miss Aster is a secretary within the Ministry for Civic Affairs and Immigration. I met her yesterday, when I was looking into how far along they are with evaluating the houses in the Immigration District for damages. Apparently there seems to be a filing issue of some sort. Miss Aster has been looking into it since it came to her attention. She says it goes against her pride to have messy paperwork.”

“Tampering?” Gladio couldn't help but ask.

“Very likely.”

“Damn.”

“Whoever did it was very careful. The papers are listed as filed, they obviously went over all the right desks, but they aren't where they should be. I have never seen this amount of misfiling in my entire life.” Ignis' obvious indignation would be funny, if the situation wasn't so serious. “Mrs. Custodela cannot help us with this. She has her hands already full trying to keep abreast with the camps she is looking over. After this, would you please call Camp 7 for me? Mrs. Custodela has found a plumber who is free and can take a look at their showers.”

Something in the pipes in the showers of Camp 7 had broken and now the water there had turned a muddy brown. It couldn't be very healthy.

“That's good. I'll do that. Anything else?”

“Make sure to note down who is using the vehicles you got provided with, and where they drove and how long it took to get there. Certain people have been making noise about rationing petrol. Records of the use of the vans you have at your disposal would go a long way to work against this”, said Ignis after a few moments of consideration.

Gladio jerked in disbelief. “Rationing petrol? That's bullshit! The oil production in Leide is still under Insomnian control.”

“I know, Gladio. Believe me, I know.”

“Fuck, this whole situation is a stinking mess”, he complained and carded a hand through his hair.

I need a shower, he thought with a grimace. Ignis didn't answer. He didn't need to. Somewhere in the hall a baby started to cry, followed shortly by a second. Gladio sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose. He needed to get out of here. At least for an evening. Breath some air that didn't smell of exhaust fumes or like too many sweaty people cramped into a place too small.

“How... how is Iris doing?” Ignis sounded like he wasn't sure at all, if he should even ask.

“She's not doing worse for now”, he choked out, his stomach plummeting like it was suddenly filled with lead.

“Gladio. I am- I'm so sorry.”

That sentence sounded heavy. Full of hidden meanings and implications and Gladio didn't want to hear any of it.

“Don't you dare talk like she's dead already! Because she's still very much alive”, he snapped.

A tightly controlled intake of breath sounded over the speaker. Gladio couldn't muster the will to feel bad about it. Iris wasn't dead and she wouldn't die. He was her older brother and he would protect her, damn it!She was barely fourteen, for Bahamut's sake.

“You are right, Gladio. I apologize”, Ignis said after a maybe too long pause.

“It's alright”, he sighed and deflated.

No, it wasn't alright, not at all. But Ignis was a friend – or had been a friend once – and he didn't deserve this. Pitioss, Iris didn't deserve this most of all. Why ever were the Gods punishing her like that? It had to stop.

He cleared his throat and asked awkwardly: “I'm going back home for the night to spend some time with her. Do you want to come over for dinner? Iris would love to see you again.”

“If you are sure.”

Ignis sounded so high-strung that Gladio just knew he was feeling as awkward as he himself was.

“Don't worry. I wouldn't ask, if I wasn't.”

“Then I will gladly come. Which time would be most convenient?”

“We normally eat around six since Iris gets tired early”, Gladio shrugged.

Ignis hummed in thought. “Five thirty then.”

“Fine by me”, he answered after mentally running through his to-do list again. “Just... be gentle with her, alright?”

“Of course, Gladio”, agreed Ignis. “I need to go back to work.”

“Ah, yes. Yes, of course. I'll see you later.”

“Until later.”

The call disconnected. Gladio listened to the silence of his phone for a few seconds before he sighed and lowered it from his ear to stare at it. Social graces and impulse control. He needed to work on his temper more. But for now he had a few calls to make. First Camp 7 about that plumber and then Jared to tell him that he and Ignis would be there for dinner. He had been trying to come every evening since the earthquake happened, but he hadn't always managed it.

On his first call he managed to reach Libertus who sounded just as grouchy as he had expected the man to be. Gladio had to bite the inside of his cheek as to not snap back. Instead he managed to make his way through the conversation with all the grace of a garula in a china store. Luckily Libertus didn't seem to notice. Something about two feuding Clans in one room, he had heard Crowe and Pelna say.

His second call went a bit better. He could practically hear the retainer smile as he announced his and Ignis' presence for dinner.

Now he could go outside and see how far along Tredd and Crowe were with checking over the newest delivery. Then there would be another round of phone calls between Centres 4 through 8 to see who was lacking what and to pool their resources. After lunch he would write out new timetables for those who had volunteered for various duties around here. And he would need to find someone who had experience with the whole giving birth thing, since one of the women here looked just about ready to pop.

Dinner could have been definitely worse. It had been decidedly awkward, but between Ignis practically doting on Iris within the first few minutes of his arrival and Jared's efforts to keep the conversation flowing, it had been a very pleasant meal. Everything had been fine, Iris had been laughing and moving around more than she had in weeks and Ignis had been sharing recipes with Jared.

He should have known that this wasn't going to last. Nothing good had for a long time now.

The screaming woke Gladio in the middle of the night. It took his sleep addled brain long precious seconds to realize that they were coming from his sister's room. He practically leapt out of bed and ran into her room that thankfully was right next to his. Light spilled into the dark room and for a moment his sister's shadow seemed to froth and seethe, but Gladio ignored it in search of any attackers that he could painfully eviscerate.

No one was there. No one but Iris and him.

Her screaming stopped once she saw him.

“Gladdy”, she whimpered and reached out towards him.

The sleeves of her pyjama slid back and exposed dark splotched on her skin that hadn't been there during dinner. A thin line of blood trickled down from the corner of her mouth. It was black.

“Iris!” he cried and lunged towards her, cradling her small form carefully against his muscled chest.

“Gladdy, it hurts. It hurts so much.”

She grasped weakly at his arms, sobbing. Then she went limp, her breath coming in nothing but weak bursts that ghosted over the naked skin above his collar bone.

“No”, he breathed. Desperation roared in his chest like a wild beast and stole his breath. “No, no, no, no, no.”

What should he do? No doctor or hospital they had visited since she had first gotten sick, had been able to help. There was no one here that could help her.

Oh, by the Gods, she was going to die.

The realization hit him like a slap in the face. His little sister would die before morning came, because there was no one in this damned city that...

Gladio's breath stuttered in his chest when he remembered what the innkeeper of the Black Saffron had said about his son and the woman that had come by during the meeting, when he remembered what that prostitute had told him last week.

Without stopping to consider what a colossally stupid idea this was – he could not afford to think about it, not now when his little sister was dying – he wrapped her blanket tightly around her frail body and lifted her up in his arms. She was so light he barely noticed her weight.

Why was it getting so much worse? Why now, of all times? She had been fine! Or at last not worse than the last time he had taken her to a doctor.

He didn't even stop to get dressed in something other than his sleeping trousers or to put on some shoes, and instead ran right out of the door, into the dark streets of Insomnia. In the privacy of her bed, the prostitute had described to him how he could get to this Healer, if he ever needed to.

Sweat ran down his face and back the further he ran, his breath burned in his lungs, but he didn't dare to stop. He didn't dare to do so as he ran past buildings the earthquake had destroyed, deeper and deeper into the city, through neighbourhoods that were getting more and more run down.

Iris began to shiver, despite the warm summer night. Gladio only tightened his grip and hastened his steps.

Despite the growing lack of functioning street lamps, he could see the great, broken pillar. It rose out of the shadows like a great, stony needle as he hurried past it and then turned left into a narrow alleyway. It didn't take long to reach the other side. It was nearly pitch black now. Only a few weakly glowing lanterns showed him the way, forcing him to slow down, lest he stumble and fall. He found the staircase Viti had talked about through sheer luck. There weren't any handrails, so he had to be extra careful. He did not dare hurry since some of the metal stairs creaked ominously.

Follow the lights, Viti had said, and so he started to run again towards the nearest light he could see. It was a single lantern glowing like a lonely star at the first house on the right. It hung from the ceiling in a room that was entirely open on one side and illuminated a group of chairs, metal drawers and a long table. In a corner there was a part of the wall that looked like it could possibly be a door. He just about kicked it in.

“Hello! I need help!” he bellowed into the darkness of the house, honestly not caring who he might wake.

Not a second later hasty footsteps sounded to his left. It was a teenager, his skin paler than he had ever seen a human being be, with big blue eyes so light they looked white near the pupil. In his hand he carried a lantern, its light cast a cheerful glow on everything it touched.

The teenagers eyes grew even larger when he saw the bundle in Gladio's arms, then his eyes dropped to his feet and back up again.

“My sister needs help”, Gladio repeated, pleading.

That seemed to do the trick, as the teenager gestured towards a staircase with a hasty “Follow me!” and practically leapt up the stairs.

“Healer! Healer wake up! There's an emergency. Quick!”

Gladio followed the teen down the hallway to his right until they came to the last door. Behind it was a small room with a rickety bed, a bedside table, a stool and a chest of drawers. Another lantern, it had been hanging from a hook next to the door, was lit and the teenager motioned for Gladio to lay his sister on the bed before he vanished down the hallway again, calling for Healer.

Now here, where he could finally focus on something other than running, running, running, he noticed he was trembling like a leaf in the wind. His heart beat like a fast paced drum and his breath shuddered with each intake of air.

His gaze settled on Iris. Her skin was a pasty, unhealthy white and the dark splotches had spread up her neck and onto her cheeks. Each laboured breath sounded wet and rattled within her chest. Carefully, as to not hurt her any further, he settled her down on the lumpy mattress of the bed. The frame gave a high pitched sound as her weight was added.

From outside the room he could hear doors opening and closing, sleepy voices were asking questions and hasty steps were making their way towards them. A young man appeared in the doorway. He had clearly just woken up, his startling violet eyes squinting against the light of the lantern and his long black hair a mess that hung in his face.

When the man – he couldn't be older than 20 – saw him he froze. His eyes grew large in surprise and fear, his mouth opened and closed like he was a fish on land. Gladio glowered. If he had only come to stare, he was going to beat him within an inch of his life.

“Help her!” he bellowed.

The man jerked. His gaze fell on Iris and all expression vanished from his face. One moment he stood by the door and the next he was next to the bed, leaning over his sister and looking intently at her gaunt face.

“Casto, get me a bucket and take the bedsheets for winter out of the closet. Go to Hiemi and tell her I need some of her purging tea, and bring me a bowl of hot water and a washrag”, he said with an air that made it clear he was used to be listened to and obeyed.

Not bothering to turn around and see if the teenager was listening – which he did; he ran out of the room like the Infernian himself was after him – the young man started to gently unwrap the blanket. She had grown even paler and the black splotches covered large parts of her visible skin.

Gladio would love to ask who this guy even was and what he was doing as he released a hissing breath and started cussing quite creatively, but his voice refused to work. Each new gulp of air took more effort than the last and slowly he began to realize that everything hurt. From his muscles to his feet. Especially his feet. They felt like two big, raw lumps of meat that did nothing but hurt. He ignored it as best as he could for now.

A thin hand with long, elegant fingers was lain on Iris' forehead, golden-violet sparks danced across the digits and over her skin.

Wait, this was the famous Healer?

“For how long has she been sick?”

Gladio's tired mind barely registered the question. “What?” he managed to utter after his second attempt at articulating.

“How long, Gladio”, Healer barked.

How...? That wasn't important right now.

“Nearly two months”, he managed to say around the lump in his throat.

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit. By all the sulphurous fires of Ifrit's den. By all rights, she should be dead by now.”

That made Gladio's tired brain pay attention again. “Excuse me?”

Healer shook his head and reached for the bucket a huffing and puffing Casto held out towards him, bedsheets under his other arm.

“No time for that.”

He gently sat her upright, her weight lying awkwardly in his arms, and sent a wave of softly glowing magic through her. The golden and violet light washed over her like water. Without warning her upper body jerked forward and she vomited her dinner mixed with black blood into the bucket. It stank sickeningly.

Iris took big, heaving breaths, occasionally dispelling mouthfuls of junky black sludge. After nothing new came up, Healer set the bucket down beside the bed. He didn't seem to care for the splatters that had hit the naked skin of his arms and torso. They slowly turned into wispy smoke and then vanished entirely. Her eyes fluttered feverishly without seeming to notice her surroundings.

“Yeah, that's it. Everything's alright now. In and out, in and out. Yah're doing great, Iris. Everything's gonna be alright.”

While Healer was gently coaxing his barely lucid sister into regaining her breath and Casto put a garish monstrosity of a pillow beneath her head, Gladio leaned against the wall to ease the pain in his feet and to regain some kind of equilibrium. Because this Healer knew his sister's name. Gladio knew he hadn't told him and he had known his name, too, without needing an introduction. Just who was he?

“Tata?”

All eyes turned towards the door. There stood a girl. She looked to be around seven with wild, sleep mussed red hair and honey coloured eyes that gleamed golden. She looked drowsily at them and yawned.

“Solaris? What're yah doing out of bed?” asked Healer without taking his glowing hand from Iris' forehead even once.

“It's loud”, the girl complained.

Gladio's gaze wandered from one to the other and he wondered.

Healer nodded. “Ah know, little sun, but Iris needs mah help for now. If yah can't sleep anymore, could yah go down and ask yahr mati for a big glass of water? Casto, could yah look after Astra, please? Ah don't wanna've him running 'round alone and in the dark.”

Both nodded and left the room, the girl taking the teenager's hand. Gladio stared after them. He had heard this accent before, he knew he had. If he could just place where. He felt like he was missing some very crucial things right about now. Sleep. What he needed now was sleep and for Iris to not die.

His gaze settled back on her. A flittering net of golden-violet magic covered her from head to toe. It looked more like mist than a tangible thread. How was such a thing possible? Only the royal family should be the one harbouring powerful magic in this city, even the whole continent. And now here was this Healer, whose magic prickled against his skin like a Lucis Caelum's did. It would probably be more upsetting, if he was fully awake.

“What does she have?” he asked instead of all the other questions burning on his tongue.

Healer blinked at him, as if he had forgotten that Gladio was also in the room. He made a passable impression of a bowstring drawn tight. In an obvious nervous tick, Healer tugged at his hair and wet his lips.

“She's scourge sick”, he said at last, his voice barely more than a quiet whisper.

“Scourge sick”, Gladio repeated tonelessly. “You mean the black plague, curse of the Gods, the starscourge? That kind of scourge sick?”

“Yes”, came the careful confirmation.

Gladio felt his fingers flex like they wanted to hit something, if he had just a bit more energy left. “That's a load of chocobo shit”, he rasped. “The starscourge does not reach within the Wall. Everybody knows that.”

Near glowing, violet eyes shot him a deadpan stare that felt achingly familiar. He suppressed a shudder creeping up his spine. Damn, those eyes were eerie.

“Two months ago yah said? Has she been anywhere near the old crypts at tha' time?”

The broken shield opened his mouth to instinctively deny the question, but he hesitated. “I... I don't know”, he admitted at last. He tried to remember, but his head started to feel like it was packed in wool.

“Doesn't matter anymore. It's good that yah came now, but yah were cuttin' it very close. She wouldn't 'a' made it through the night. Ah can barely believe tha' she made it this long.”

With a shuddering breath Gladio leaned more of his weight against the wall. The rough plaster dug uncomfortably into his shoulders.

Steps sounded from the hallway and shortly thereafter the girl was back, two cups in her hands. One was steaming and emanated a strong smell that made him wrinkle his nose. She gave the one with the foul smelling liquid Healer, the other one she cradled between her hands.

“Thank yah, little sun”, the young man smiled. “Now, yah remember what ah taught yah? Reach for the power resting in yahr bones. No more than a spark. Take it and guide it, it knows what it's got tah do.”

The girl's face scrunched up in concentration, in a way Gladio had seen a hundred times before, in the way Noctis had looked when he had wanted something to go exactly right. What Gladio hadn't seen before was the reddish glow of her hands.

“Not so much, little sun”, corrected Healer gently.

Solaris' brow furrowed even more and after a few seconds the glow dimmed until there was only the barest sheen of it left. It seeped into the cup and the liquid it contained, until it glowed, too.

“Very good”, praised the young man and Solaris beamed. “Would yah be a dear and give it tah Gladio over there?”

“Yes, tata”s she said dutifully and held the cup out to him, standing as far away as she could manage while doing so. She was clearly skittish around strangers.

“No, thank you”, he said while looking at the glowing cup in healthy scepticism. As long as he had no idea what it was he wouldn't drink it. He swallowed, and that made his parched throat just more noticeable.

Healer clucked his tongue in disapproval. “It's jus' water with a bit of healin' magic. Sit down and drink tha'. Yah look like yahr abou' tah keel over. 'Specially with yahr feet.”

Gladio made a face, but in the end he took the cup from the girl. The liquid in it looked like plain water hit by sunlight during noon. It was kind of fascinating, he had to admit. The little girl scampered off towards the bucket and glanced into it, curiosity clear on her face. She clamped her hands over her nose and mouth with a disgusted sound. Gladio frowned. A child as young as her shouldn't see these kind of things. Healer seemed to be of a similar mindset.

“Solaris, would yah please go and get Ardyn? And after tha' ah need yah tah do somethin' very important. Can yah do tha' for me?” Healer looked at her with serious eyes. The girl nodded, face solemn. “Yah need tah go tah the other patients and tell them tha' everything's alrigh'. They don't need tah worry.”

“Ah will, tata”, she said and carefully stepped closer to give Healer a kiss on the cheek before she left the room.

“What happens now?” asked Gladio and took a tiny sip of the mystery water, as he had dubbed it in his mind.

At once he could feel some of his exhaustion leave and the soreness of his muscles easing off just a bit. He blinked in surprise. This was a bit like the potions he knew, just far more gentle in the way the soothed things. Potions and ethers made by Lucis Caelum magic were always accompanied by an unpleasant burn.

Healer answered while he carefully, drop by drop, made Iris drink that foul smelling tea. “Now ah'll start tah heal her. The scourge has been burrowed in her body for too long for me tah heal it all at once, but ah can do it. Yah needn't worry.”

“You can really heal her? How long will it take? There is supposed to be only one person who is able to heal the starscourge, and I kind of doubt that you are the Oracle in disguise.”

The deeply buried seeds of hope started to grow into a warm feeling pooling in his stomach. Or maybe that was just the mystery water.

“Yeah, but like ah said, it'll take me some time. A week at least. Ah don't just need tah rid her of the scourge, but also repair the damage it caused and tha's the truly tricky part.”

Gladio became light headed in relief. If he hadn't been sitting on the floor already, he would certainly do so now. But he couldn't help but wonder how it was even possible. The Fleurets had been blessed by the Astrals with the power to cleanse the scourge from its victims. There were no others.

“My, my, nephew. You have all of the clinic in a right tizzy.”

A man stood in the doorway with wild reddish hair that had an odd violet sheen and golden eyes. He leaned on a cane the same way King Regis did, and Gladio didn't know why, but he found that quite disturbing. Despite the stuffy and hot air he wore a long pair of trousers and a high collared tunic with sleeves that fell down over his wrists.

“She is scourge sick”, the man stated. His eyes bore a strange glint that Gladio didn't like.

Healer nodded. “Yes”, he affirmed and motioned towards the bucket sitting at the end of the bed. “Could yah get rid of tha'? Ah made her drink some of Hiemi's purging tea, so she'll need tha' bucket 'gain soon.”

“Of course, dear nephew. But if you don't mind, I would like to see how you handle this one. It's the first time I see you treat someone afflicted with starscourge, after all. Not to worry, I'll keep myself well out of the way.”

Healer's answering shrug clearly said suit yourself.

Gladio watched as the man – who was most likely this Ardyn the little girl had gone to fetch – gathered the bucket, keeping a straight face at the sickening smell, and retreated back towards the door.

“I'm ready”, the man announced with a grin.

Healer huffed, but he turned his full attention back to Iris who now looked like she had gone back to sleep. He gently rested his free hand on her stomach, right over her navel, the other still being on her forehead, and closed his eyes, his brows furrowed in obvious concentration. For a moment there was absolute silence. Then the glittering net over his sister's body retreated, leaving the room strangely dim. Not a moment later however, Healer's whole body started to glow in a golden light. It looked like a sun was trapped under his skin.

The black lines on his skin, that Gladio had thought were tattoos, started to crack open and released a burning violet light. It looked utterly otherworldly. Suddenly Gladio could believe every story Viti had told him about Healer. That he was a fallen star or an Astral, forgotten by humanity and time. There was so much power. It made his skin prickle and the fine hairs on his arms stand on end. And it seemed like Healer himself could barely contain it, he looked like his human shell was going to shatter at any moment.

Magic pulsed in time of an invisible heart, lapping over Iris and through the air like it was water breaking on a shore. The light seeped into Iris' skin, concentrating where the black splotches marred her, and with each new wave that washed over her they grew a tiny bit smaller. A fine black mist rose and dissipated within seconds.

Gladio couldn't do anything other than stare at the spectacle in front of him, even as it made his eyes burn to look directly into the pulsing light. He didn't even look away when he heard a violent hiss from where the red haired man was watching.

An especially large wave made the air shudder, caressed his skin like the softest silk and eased the pain in his bloody feet. There were quite a few cuts and a broken toe nail. He hadn't even felt it as he had been running to get his sister the help she needed. He couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped him. The magic teased over him like a long lost friend. It made something in him that had been sleeping for a long time, suddenly sit up and pay attention. He knew the feeling of this magic, had felt it quite often when Noctis had been made to practice his elemancy, even if he had never been connected to it like a proper Shield should be...

He jerked upwards. By now the magic had turned into a bright supernova with the young man and his sister at its centre. It couldn't be.

“Noctis”, he breathed, stunned.

He stood there, frozen and having no idea what he should do. This couldn't be possible. He had searched for his prince high and low and the Crownsguard and the Kingsglaive both had searched outside of Insomnia. If Noctis was still in the city and not dead they should have heard something by now. Shouldn't they?

On the other hand there clearly were people down here. Gladio hadn't even known that this place existed, and it was part of his job to know about the city's layout. It would also explain how Healer had magic. But why hadn't he recognized him then? He knew what the prince looked like! Then again, Healer had long hair and what he had thought were tattoos covering a large part of his body, including his face. And even if it turned out that Healer wasn't Noctis – which became more and more likely the longer he thought about it – this was a place he could potentially be, because no one had ever thought to look.

Had Noctis hidden here this whole time?

Why?

As if he had been heard, Healer opened his eyes. Even in the bright light of the magic they glowed like a pair of newborn stars. Gladio had to look away. White spots danced in front of his eyes. A high pitched whine sounded from where the door was located.

Slowly, oh so slowly, the pulsing light became weaker, the pressure of powerful magic in the air grew lighter. With each new wave it retreated further and further, like the changing of the tides until it was mostly gone.

The black splotches on Iris' skin had turned into mere shadows beneath skin still pale from sickness. There was a bit of colour in her cheeks now.

Healer's hands retreated and the last of the glow died, leaving the room in a strange half light until Gladio's eyes had adjusted again. Only the black lines on Healer's skin still gave off a dim iridescence, and Gladio swore there was a new one slashing across his cheek close to the nose. It made the impression that the man's humanity was nothing but a thin veil that could be ripped away to show what really lay beneath at any time. And wasn't that disconcerting?

Reluctantly, like he needed to remind himself how to move his limbs, he stood up and carelessly let the blanket Gladio had carried Iris in, fall to the floor, before taking up the one the teenager had brought in and spread it over Iris' still sleeping form. His breath came in quick bursts and he was covered in sweat like he had just completed a taxing workout. With a quiet groan he stood up straight. Finally the shimmer beneath his skin was completely gone.

“Fuck. Ah think ah overdid it”, he mumbled barely loud enough for Gladio to hear.

“You can say that again, my dear nephew. Please warn an old man the next time you want to set off the magical equivalent to a Nifasi firebomb. It would be much appreciated. You can never be sure of the consequences otherwise”, stated the red haired man before Gladio could even think to open his mouth.

There was a caution in Healer's gaze as he nodded, that set Gladio's teeth on edge and made him want to punch something. Or someone. Preferably the guy who used a cane exactly the same way his King did but moved like a was an actor playing out a drama.

“Now, go downstairs to your wife, eat something and drink some of her truly amazing tea. You look like someone who dearly needs a break and some extra energy. I dare say, it's too early already to go back to sleep again. I will look after the girl for the time being. Do not worry, I have some experience in looking after the scourge sick and know what I'm doing”, he continued as if he hadn't seen Gladio's glower.

Which he clearly had.

Healer – who was quite possibly Noctis and Gladio wasn't really sure if he wanted him to be or not – just rolled his eyes, but he took a step towards the door before he stopped and turned towards him, a guarded look on his face.

“Come”, he mumbled. “We need tah talk, and best do it now.”

Gladio didn't say anything as he followed Healer through the still mostly dark house. To be honest, he had no idea what to say. For all the questions tumbling through his mind in a never ending whirlwind since he had first seen the young man.

He wanted to scream.

He wanted to rage.

He wanted to shake the answers out of the man leading him down dark stairs.

But he didn't. If this whole mess had taught him one thing, it was that raging at it all didn't help a thing. So he swallowed the anger hissing in his mind down and sat in the chair in the warmly lit kitchen he had been indicated to.

The kitchen was a large room that was clearly well lived in and cared for with a loving hand, if cluttered to a point where there was nearly no free space left. Despite the warm summer night there was a new fire burning in the hearth that was old enough to belong in a museum. It made the air near uncomfortable hot.

Most of the kitchen appliances looked like they belonged into the 5th century ME at least. Well, there was an electric tea kettle and a few other bibs and bobs that clearly belonged into the modern age of electricity. How could anybody live like that?

As he examined the kitchen he noticed the woman standing at the counter. She wasn't very tall with a thin face and very pale skin that contrasted heavily with her long black hair. Her big eyes were of a green that reminded him of shadowy forests outside Insomnia. The long and thin tunic she wore was of a russet colour and looked more like a nightgown to his eyes.

He knew her. It was the woman that he had met at the Black Saffron the day before yesterday. Well, three days ago by now, he supposed. What was her name again? Hiemi? Wait, so the little girl had been...

She came over towards the table with a tray in her hands upon which were three cups and a large pot that wouldn't be out of place in one of the historical romances he liked to read sometimes. Now that she stood next to Healer, who had been awkwardly hovering next to an empty chair, Gladio could see that she was a few centimetres taller than him. The woman gave Healer a chiding glance that lost its bite with the fondly exasperated tilt of her smile.

“Yah overdid it”, she stated.

“Ah know”, he murmured and gave her a chaste kiss on the mouth. “Ah'm sorry.”

“No, yah're not. Now sit down and introduce me so tha' we can have this talk b'fore we've gotta go t' work.”

And Healer did just that.

He gave her hip a gentle squeeze and sat down on the chair across from Gladio while the woman served the tea and then sat down herself. There were a few beats of awkward silence before Healer cleared his throat and introduced the woman next to him.

“Gladio, may ah introduce to yah Hiemi, Dame of this household and mah wife. Hiemi, this's Gladio.” He hesitated, as if he wasn't quite sure how to continue.

Before he could make up his mind about it, Gladio interrupted him: “What in the name of Pitioss' cursed depths were you thinking, Noctis?!”

The young man flinched, his fingers dug into the wooed tabletop until his knuckles turned white and his mouth fell open with no sound escaping him.

In the warm light of the kitchen it had become very clear to Gladio that this Healer was in fact Noctis, despite all the changes. The facial structure practically screamed Lucis Caelum. There was also the magic – magic he had never seen or heard of before – and the fact that he knew his and Iris' name.

“Where the fuck have you been? Do you know how worried your father was? Still is, to this day? Do you know how the nobles are hounding him to produce another heir? He keeps refusing out of love for you and the late Queen and you sit here, healthy and alive, and play house! The King still hopes that you're alive and well, that you're coming home one day. Do you know what your actions did to Ignis? To Iris? To me? Do you-”

By the end he had been nearly screaming, ready to lunge across the table and beat some sense into his prince. If he even deserved that title anymore. But suddenly he was frozen in place. The words tumbling out of his mouth, halted on his tongue and his muscles refused to move. It was like time around him had been halted but everywhere else it moved forward like it always did. He couldn't even blink as he looked at the two people across from him.

Noctis had grown even paler than he already was, hunching his shoulders and shrinking into himself. Hiemi, the woman he had introduced as his wife – and wasn't that a whole other can of worms – was another story. Her eyes were blazing in fury as she rose from her chair, one arm held out in his direction. Around her wrist and along her forearm danced smoky grey chains. Sparks of green and yellow jumped between the individual links.

“Don't yah dare.” She hissed, her face contorted into a sneer. “Don't yah think he knows tha'? Mah husband knows the consequences of his actions quite well, knave Gladiolus. Yah bet there's a damn good reason for it, do yah understand me?”

“Hiemi”, Noctis said in a tone that was barely more than a whisper. At once her attention was on him. “Let him go, please. It's fine.”

“It damn well isn't, and yah know it! Shield or not, friend or not, he can't jus' walk in here and treat yah like this. Healer. Noctis. It's not yahr fault. Yah couldn't 've done anything different. Not with Him watching.”

Gladio listened with growing concern. What was she talking about? Who was this Him? The way he said it he couldn't be a nice guy. Noctis made a keening noise so full of old hurt and fear and guilt that Galdio would have recoiled, if he were able. The prince pressed his face into her abdomen, his hands grasped at the cloth of her tunic and his shoulders shook as if he was crying. She didn't say anything but carded her hands through his long, tangled hair with a tender expression on her face. Gladio dearly wanted to look away, shaken to his core at the scene before him.

“Ssshhhh”, made Hiemi and continued to pet Noctis' hair until he pulled away.

The prince's eyes were thankfully dry and he didn't look quite as much as an anak caught in the headlights anymore. His wife pressed his cup of tea into his hands and he took a sip. And then another, the action calming him down further.

“Now”, she said, her tone brooking no argument, “we're all going tah sit down and talk like the adults we all are. Am ah clear?”

Here she looked sternly at Gladio who still couldn't move. He wished he could point that out to her.

“Mah life, yah need tah take off the spell first”, Noctis reminded her with an amused twitch at the corner of his mouth.

Due to her pale skin, the redness in her cheeks was very noticeable as she cancelled whatever she had done with one last warning look towards him. The chains around her forearm vanished. He carefully flexed his fingers and shifted his weight, to see if everything was back in working order, but he wisely kept his mouth shut and waited for either of the two to speak first. Their short exchange had made it clear that there was more going on than he had thought – than anyone had thought – and he wanted to know what it was.

It was Noctis who started the conversation again.

“Tha' night in tha' alleyway ah was scared shitless, Gladio, and it wasn't because of tha' old drunk with the broken bottle.”

“What in the name of Bahamut's blades happened to you?” asked Gladio and watched uncomprehending, as both of them flinched slightly.

“Please, don't say His name. Down here, He can't see me”, Noctis pleaded.

“What do you mean, down here He can't see you? Wait, the He you were referring to is-?”

Gladio swallowed down the name Bahamut, but the other two knew exactly who he meant. They nodded in unison.

“But why?”

He didn't understand this at all.

“The Bladed One's still one of the Six, one of the Astrals, but His standing, from what ah understand of what Healer told me, is more tha' of the Infernian up there”, answered Hiemi and motioned towards the ceiling.

Ignis would love this.

The sudden thought made Gladio realize that he needed to get the advisor in on this. Gladio himself was in over his head. But that was for later. Now...

“So Ba- the Bladed One is some kind of traitor, a malevolent deity? What does that have to do with why you're hiding in this dump?”

Both of them bristled at his words and Hiemi opened her mouth, clearly prepared to argue, but Noctis' hand on her shoulder held her back. She leaned backwards, still glaring at Gladio like he had insulted her personally.

“It's got everything tah do with it”, said Noctis. “Do yah know the stories of the Lucis Caelums tha' had a magic different from wha' was expected of them?”

Gladio hesitated. He tried to think of the old stories Noctis had liked to read in the archives, when he had been allowed down there, but none came to mind. It was strange, since this was the main reason he had started to like reading historical romance. Try as he might, he couldn't remember a single of those stories the young prince had liked to ramble about on occasion.

“I... cannot say I do, no”, he admitted, feeling strangely ashamed of it.

Noctis just sighed. “Tha's alrigh'. They've always ended violently, with the death of the Lucis Caelum in question, and more often than not with innocent bystanders dead. There're records of Kings killing their own children tah minimize the inevitable damage they'd cause if left tah live. Dad told me the last one left to live died when he collapsed a house on top of him, also killing the people within the building and most of the bystanders. Ah managed tah find records from the Founder's time, where King Somnus decreed in the Bladed One's name tha' every child not of black magic was Bad Faith.”

Gladio gave a quiet curse. He remembered now, the sordid stories Noctis had told and had given him a sour taste in his mouth every single time. The prince seemed to have noticed his discomfort at his retellings and had stopped them after some time. It hadn't stopped him from going into the archives, however.

All of a sudden he had a very bad feeling about this.

“Please tell me you aren't one of those cases, Noctis”, he all but begged, already knowing the answer to this.

Ruefully, the prince in hiding shook his head. “If he finds me it's only a question of time before something happens. Do yah understand? Ah can't go Up because for some reason we can't figure out, He can't find me here. As long as ah'm here nothing'll happen.”

“And what of the rest of Lucis? Should it fall into chaos, conquered by Nifelheim, because you were too much of a coward?”

Noctis pressed his lips into a thin line in displeasure. “And what would you have me do, Gladio? Wait for the dragon to kill me? I've wanted to just march up to the Citadel so many times, I've lost count. You have no idea how much it hurt to stay away from all of you.”

In his ire he was starting to lose that damn accent that had been starting to grate on Gladio.

“Stop!” thundered Hiemi before the argument could escalate any further, her presence backed up by the feeling of powerful magic. “We've been talking abou' contacting His Royal Majesty for some time now. 'Specially in the last few days. The children've been excited ever since they heard we've been considering it. Healer, ah think it's abou' time we finally did it.”

“I... yes”, he relented after a few moments of silence. “It's abou' time.”

#ffxv #dreams of our past #gladiolus amicitia #hiemi is an overprotective fury #two hard headed people meeting each other #well #this could have gone better #cat's out of the bag now #gladio finally finds noctis #he could have handled that better #but also so much worse #iris has the staarscourge #and because of *plot* she's getting treatment #ardyn is having a hard time believing what just happened #he needs to sit down for a minute #my fics #the spirit writes

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seyvetch · 6 years ago

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Ok I had this on my mind for quite some time now and this is one of my most like serious sharing feelings posts.

Ive been through some shit in my life, not gonna say what it doesnt even matter rn and Ive been very emotional and awkward person and had bad social skills and most of my school life I was bullied and this was like hell to me and I vaguely remember crying a lot although due to my very bad memorry I have very hard time remembering the details. So at some point I think it was early middle school something clicked in me... Ive not really talked about it with any of my friends after that and its heavy for me to talk now... there was this stairway at my old school leading to second floor and I tryied to jump from the second floor head first into granite floor of 1st floor. Now would have I died I dont know - the height wasnt that big but the impulse of wanting to die was so big I didnt even think it through. If not for my classmates holding me from jumping I would have at least get injured. But thats all in the past... or I thought it was.

Lately like this academic year my mental state was worsening a lot and like last I lost appetite and my sleeping schedule was fucked like I would go to bed at 4-5 am and since my physucal health is somehow tied to my mental health I would get sick a lot more too. And like rn I am better but I feel like some big incident resulting in a lot of negative feelings in me can break my mind and make me hurt or even kill myself or others. I am currently taking course of meds maybe it will help but I dont know.

Its been hard to remain in contact with a lot of my online friends or really do anything. Anything. I am so tired of this. I just want to lie in bed for a fewdays wih phone and laptop and not doing aanything productive cuz I just can not do it rn. As i said I am feeling better lately and Ive been able to do some things but its so hard and tiring.

I dont know fucking how I lived that long but like I wanted to I guess appologize for what I might have done to you that I shouldnt have done or nor done what I should have done bc of this -it is messing with my mind a lot and I cant think clearly.

I guess i made this post beacuse I couldnt hold this within me any longer. Thank you for reading this, I will try not to die or hurt others - I still got changing the world into a better place to do even if a little bit.

Have a nice day <3

#tw suicude

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caffeinatedgirlblr-blog · 6 years ago

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My 2019 goals

I know, it’s a bit late to write about yearly goals, but anyway) I want you to be aware of my purposes for this year in order to become more acquainted with me and probably take some ideas! I’ve categorized these goals by several groups to make reading more comfortable.

I. Health and Physical State

1. Nutrition

ღ reduce daily food intake to 1400 cal (this is all individually! please, count your own norm)

ღ consume healthy food:

include more fruits, vegetables, greenery

consume less sweets, coffee (maximum 4 cups per week), milk and bread products

ღ high-calorific foods till 4 p.m.

ღ do not eat three hours before sleep

ღ eat small portions every 2-3 hours (3 main meals + 2-3 snacks)

ღ drink two liters of water per day

2. Activity

ღ workout three times per week and rest for a day between these fitness-days

combine cardio and weight trainings

ღ do yoga and stretching in mornings and/or evenings

ღ take the splits and be more flexible

ღ learn to dance lezghinka and waltz

ღ maintain 50-52 kilograms (my height is 168 cm)

ღ get a muscle definition

3. Sleep

ღ night sleep duration is 7-8 hours

ღ go to bed at 10 p.m. and wake up at 5:30 a.m.

ღ do not take naps during the day unless you really need it

ღ sleep in a complete darkness + turn off notifications on the phone

4. Self-care

ღ clean face twice a day

morning: face-washing gel + tonic/cream

evening: makeup-removing foam + tonic + acne drug

scrub/masks once a week

ღ get rid of acne

receive treatment from a doctor

ღ take care for hairs

maintain them clean and neat

apply hair conditioner

cut edges once in two months

learn to make lovely hairstyles

ღ learn to apply cosmetics on my face and do it as rare as possible

ღ do not be cold

ღ take vitamins according the season

ღ take care for hands and nails

ღ take care for heels

II. Education and Self-Development

1. Univercity admission

ღ get results of the first examination (25.03)

ღ register for the second examination on English

ღ prepare for the English exam and get a high score (improve grammar, vocabulary, listening, speaking, reading, and writing skills)

I will write about it in more detail later

ღ prepare all the documents and... enter the university!

2. School

ღ graduate shool with excellent marks

pass state exams: maths, history, Russian, Kazakh, English

choose correct subjects (math/physics VS English/georaphy) and pass UNT (united national test) - also uncover this theme a bit later

3. Self-development

ღ develop critical thinking - solve more thinking problems

ღ watch lectures from TED talks and write summaries

ღ enrich my English vocabulary and revise punctuation rules

ღ watch documentaries and scientific films

Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey - the series I really want to watch

ღ be aware about world news

ღ learn Chinese language

ღ read 10 books (now, I’m reading “Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austen)

read daily at least 15 pages

III. Relationships and Social Life

1. Family

ღ attend family meetings and gatherings

ღ visit grandparents more frequently

ღ respect parents and do not be rude with them

ღ spend more time with Mom and Dad

go to the nature, watch movies, go to restaurants or cafes, go to another city, discuss everything with them - at least once a week

ღ keep in touch with siblings

2. Friends and other people:

ღ make new REAL friends who will motivate and support me

I’ve been always dreaming about having adult, intelligent friend

ღ get rid of the past and learn how to let people go

ღ eliminate toxic people in my life

ღ find time for helping people with their problems

ღ less trust people and tell them what is in my heart, be it joys or sorrows

ღ meet my English teacher this summer and say thank you (he taught me via the Internet and we never see each other in reality)

IV. Spititual Life

ღ meditate daily (in mornings or evenings) at least 5 minutes

be grateful for everything and everyone I have

visualize the future of my dream

forget all problems during this time

ღ be kind, stress-resilient, patient, flexible, fun, generous

ღ create morning and evening routines

ღ create a mood board of my future life

ღ create a pleasant environment in my room

organize and clean my roon regularly: dusting, vacuuming, washing

at least once a season do deep cleaning: desk, shelves, drawers, wardrobe, digitals (laptop, phone, camera), chage pictures on my mood board

change bed sheets more often

buy green and flourish plants

ventilare regularly

ღ stay organized

make monthly, weekly, daily plans

write down all my ideas

create study plans

ღ keep on writing in my diary

ღ turn off all the digital an hour before going to sleep

V. Hobbies and Relaxation

ღ listen to inspirational music (more jazz, less rap) and create playlists for each mood

ღ watch movies and series with enjiyment (I do not know the reason, but I cannot to watch a movie from the beginning to the end, feeling that I’m wasting time)

ღ play and sing with guitar

ღ paint

ღ photography

ღ attend a museum

ღ travel more

buy Euro-tour!

ღ chose one day-off each week for relaxation and recovery

ღ find new recipes of healthy meals and try them

That is pretty all! The post is quite long, but here is literally EVERYTHING what I am going to accomplish by the end of 2019.

Also, I think I will add new ideas in this list with time.

Hope, you enjoed reading and got a tonn of inspiration!

See in the next post ❤

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thegreenhorseman · 6 years ago

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We hear it every year, year after year…”This is going to be the worst year for ticks yet.” It seems to get worse every year. If this is unfamiliar to you, you might be fortunate enough to live in an area where the concern is not so prevalent. In the northeastern United States, however, you’d be hard pressed to find a group that hasn’t expressed concern.

Why ticks?

These tiny vile creatures spread several diseases, most commonly Lyme Disease. Since May is Lyme Disease Prevention Month let’s work to understand HOW Lyme is transmitted. We’ll also explore some steps we can take to keep ourselves and our animals (horses, dogs, cats) safe.

In 2017 nearly 30,000 cases of Lyme disease were diagnosed and another 13,000 were suspected as “probable.” Most of these cases originated in the northeastern United States as seen in the map below thanks to CDC.gov. The chart following shows the upward trend of Lyme disease throughout the years.

Cases confirmed in the United States 2017. Courtesy of CDC.gov

Cases of Lyme Disease in the United States 1997-2017 courtesy of CDC.gov

Ticks are arachnids, or eight-legged creatures, that thrive in deep grass and wooded areas. Often areas where our horses enjoy, of course. There are several different species of tick and they all have different life cycles, feeding habits, and habitats.

What is a bit more alarming is a new tick to the United States called the Asian Long-horned tick, which can reproduce without a mate. The video below talks briefly about it.

youtube

Most of the time when we think of ticks we think of the most common threat; the deer tick/black-legged tick. The deer tick is often the source of Lyme disease along with several other illnesses including Anaplasmosis, Powassan, and Tick-Borne Relapsing Fever. Blade suffered from anaplasmosis in 2017 (Blade’s Got the Blues and Equine Affaire).

The deer tick begins its life cycle as an egg laid by the females in springtime. By summer the larva emerges from its egg and waits for a host. Hosts are typically birds and small rodents.

Freshly hatched ticks they are free of the bacteria that causes Lyme disease. Only when they feed on their hosts do they pick up the pathogens. In the United States the bacteria transmitted is either Borrelia burgdorferi or Borrelia mayonii. Across the pond in Europe and Asia you are more likely to find Borrelia afzelii and Borrelia garinii.

The birds and rodents that feed tick larva carry these species of bacteria without illness; they are simply hosts. By fall the tick falls from its host and enters its nymph stage. The nymphs are barely visible to the human eye. These critters lay dormant through the winter but by April/May they begin to emerge again. They wait for a host to walk by so they can catch a ride. Using their barbed mouth parts, the tick digs in for a blood meal. The pathogen inside the tick enters the salivary glands and can be released through the tick’s saliva. These hosts include us and our loved ones. Nymphs are often the cause of Lyme disease since they are small and difficult to spot.

By fall the nymphs become adults looking for new hosts. At 45°F they seek wooded areas to survive the winter. When they emerge again in spring they continue to look for hosts and mate. A single female tick can lay 3000 eggs! After a two-year life cycle the new batch of larva hatches and begins the cycle again.

As you can see, we can become infected by both the nymphs and the adult ticks. The more hosts carrying the bacteria, the more likely it is to spread to us.

The hallmark sign of Lyme disease is the bullseye, a circular rash around the bite. Symptoms may appear weeks after the bite. This appears in a majority of cases…but what of our equine friends?

Horses suffering from Lyme Disease may have subtle symptoms. They might be off mentally, emotionally, and physically. They may be sore or lame, lethargic, grumpy, neurological, or have a low-grade fever. Lyme is known to mimic other issues so a vet is critical in ruling out other problems. Lyme will also elude testing, as there are many cases of Lyme that appear negative on test results.

I’m even learning that Lyme can be a cause for some headshaking in horses. Headshaking is not commonly listed as a symptom nor have any of my vets over the past two years suggested the possibility. This is, however, something I plan on looking into after this research. As you may know from past articles, Blade developed headshaking about 18 months ago (shortly after his run with anaplasmosis). Though our tests were negative it could have been one of those instances with a false negative.

Once Lyme has been diagnosed (or suspected) there are a few treatment options.

The most common treatment is called Doxycycline, an ingestable antibiotic often given in a powdered form with food. A similar drug is called Naxcel. Despite their popularity with horse-owners they only happen to be 50% effective.

The most effective treatment is more pricey… a study in 2005 reported 100% effectiveness. The reoccurrence levels were considerably lower in the study as well. What’s this treatment you ask? Daily intravenous oxytetracycline. My vet once called it the “gold standard.” The reason most horse-owners don’t opt for this treatment is the administration. Having a vet visit and administer the shot every day for 3-5 days is pricey so most horse owners use the Doxy.

If I remember correctly I paid somewhere around $450 for three daily IVs of Oxytet for Blade.

So what are some ways we can prevent this problem from happening in the first place? As the Benjamin Franklin saying goes, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

Lyme vaccines for horses are not available yet. Studies have shown some effectiveness using canine vaccines on ponies, but it is still far too early. There are no studies out (yet) showing the safety of this methodology. Until we have vaccines we are tasked with the footwork that we should be doing anyway.

Checking for ticks often is the first thing you should be doing. Check yourself, check your dogs, check your cats, check your horses. It takes 24 hours for a biting tick to transmit the disease. I tend to find most ticks under the cheek, the neck, the chest, and the barrel (especially up behind the back legs).

There are a lot of Facebook experts who have tips, tricks, and endless opinions on tick removal. The simplest thing you can do is use a good pair of tweezers and pull the tick up slowly and steadily so you remove the whole bug. Another useful tool can be found in most pharmacies and pet stores. The tick twister. This little hooklike tool comes in a couple sizes (at least mine had 3 sizes in the package). When you find a tick you slide the bug between the openings at the end so it becomes wedged. From there twist and pull gently. I have successfully removed many ticks using this tool and I love it. After a tick is removed you may choose to save it in a plastic bag for testing. Apply alcohol or antibiotic ointment to the affected bite wound to be safe.

Since ticks prefer wooded areas, you can try to stay out of these areas. That’s easier said than done if you enjoy the outdoors.

Keeping the grass and pasture mowed can be helpful.

Removing piles of leaves and moist ground cover is an excellent way to prevent ticks. That leftover hay pile? Let’s get rid of it!

Keeping down the rodent population could be useful. Non-poison rodent traps, barn cats, and proper food storage go a long way.

Chickens and guinea hens love to eat ticks!

DEET and permethrins are of course some good chemicals that have proven efficacy for the prevention of ticks and other pests. Some people use them others don’t. That’s your choice to make. There are many products on the market including fly sprays, spot-on applications, and even wipes.

I have had mediocre success with feed through pest repellant. The more I use it the less effective it seems to be (though the first year seemed to make a big difference).

If you are opposed to chemicals more research has been finding useful essential oils that are as effective as the CDC recommended products. The key to the best product is perfecting the volatility ratio of oils. High volatility essential oils disperse into the air faster. This helps by preventing ticks from attaching in the first place. Lower volatility oils will disperse into the air more slowly and have a longer lasting effect. Check out the Tisserand Institute’s “Tick Talk” (link below) for more information on these oils. I’ve also shared with you their formulation for DIY tick repellant.

Credit to Tisserand Institute

The thought of ticks and the disease they spread makes my head hurt. Lyme disease is rarely fatal but it does lead to some frustrating and debilitating complications.

Other diseases like Powassan are rarer but a lot more deadly; this virus is associated with brain swelling. Here in New York we are already beginning to hear reports of Powassan virus. One group has found 25-50% of deer in the Adirondacks are positive for the virus and it only takes 15 minutes for the tick to transmit the virus to humans.

Whether Lyme, Anaplasmosis, or Powassan we can take steps to stay healthy and prevent ticks from biting. It may take some time and effort but it’s completely worth it.

What are some of the methods you use to keep ticks at bay?

REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING

http://ssequineclinic.com/pages/services_lyme.html

https://ker.com/equinews/lyme-disease-horses/

https://equusmagazine.com/management/protect-against-lyme

https://www.vet.cornell.edu/animal-health-diagnostic-center/testing/protocols/lyme-multiplex-horses

https://igenex.com/ticktalk/2018/01/01/a-closer-look-at-the-different-types-of-ticks-and-how-to-identify-each/

https://www.cdc.gov/lyme/stats/graphs.html

http://www.aldf.com/deer-tick-ecology

https://www.cdc.gov/ticks/life_cycle_and_hosts.html

https://www.cdc.gov/lyme/index.html

https://www.lymedisease.org/get-involved/take-action/lyme-awareness-month/

https://tisserandinstitute.org/tick-talk-2/

https://www.adirondackdailyenterprise.com/news/local-news/2019/02/powassan-virus-on-the-up-tick/

What Ticks Me Off We hear it every year, year after year..."This is going to be the worst year for ticks yet." It seems to get worse every year.

#Animals #Family #Health #Horse #horselover #Horses #LymeDisease #LymeDiseasePreventionsMonth #Prevention #TheGreenHorseman #Ticks

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