#ive been crying abt it all morning

[poursomesunaonme]

just wanna give satoru a hug

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[nomairuins]

bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏

[phagodyke]

SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

you can't just give me "the trickster has a Ghostface mask" and "the trickster saw traps people" because I WILL make him do both of these things and it WILL be so fun the whole time . god. yeah he's so fucking fun to think abt bc it's so easy to justify why he'd do stuff that doesn't make a whole lot of tactical sense. HES NOT TACTICAL. he's not manipulative!!! it was EXTREMELY HARD for him to be patient enough to get Ashe to even trust him in the first place, and the only reason THAT even worked in such a comparatively short amount of time was bc ashe has been so completely isolated for such a huge chunk of his life he didn't understand that's what was happening !!!!!!! GOD they make me insane. anyway pointing back to tags I made on the original muse fic "hey mac why would the trickster literally invite the city's most powerful child soldiers directly to where he's hiding with their best friend isn't that a bad idea" YES. OF COURSE IT IS. BUT HE WANTS TO GLOAT HE WANTS TO BE PETULANT AND CHILDISH AND BE LIKE..FINDERS KEEPERS !!!!!!! ohhh the crux of his character to me is that he's so. silly and childish and unserious and lax in responsibility and those things combined with his powers are EXACTLY what make him so fucking scary ‼️‼️‼️

anyway yeah muse holy shit every direct interaction they have is so completely coated in The Ick and it's so fucking good. thank u for making the sleepover comparison that's EXACTLY what I've been imagining. fuckign. the parallel to Ashe's Real Friends. ashe would sit on the floor while dakota sat behind him on the couch playing with his hair. muse sits in a chair while trickster stands behind him putting his hair in all these fancy braids and just. giggling meaningless gossip like they're teenage girls. AND HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE TOOOOOO. GOD. HE COULD JUST MAKE MUSE DO IT HIMSELF. THERES NO REASON FOR HIM TO EVEN BE IN THE ROOM OTHER THAN FOR HIS OWN . AMUSEMENT I GUESS. EEUGHGH I hate his ass .

I've been. as scary as this is. I've been imagining tricksters powers working almost like Taylor's in the sense that he can multitask to a wild level and also sometimes see/experience things through his puppets. I think he'd be WAYYY more limited than taylor- he can only consciously directly control a smallish number at a time; he can create as many puppets as he wants but it mostly becomes a "give an order to a crowd and they'll carry it out" and he only has a select few that he DIREXTLY controls. and he can choose to kind of experience things through one at a time . I don't know where I was going with this I just wanted to talk abt his powers a little bit I think.

ok I need to fucking talk about your tags now because oh my GOD somehow I've only ever imagined ashe having his lucid moments like. on the battlefield or in the middle of a really dramatic moment or whatever. but holy shit this is so much worse. he has them when it's quiet. do you think he ever has one while he's being used as like.. a silent bodyguard or whatever for trickster while he's..idk making a show of power or meeting with another villain or whatever. and all muse has to do is stand there and look pretty and be. part of the show of power until trickster tells him to do something . and in the middle of that ashe kind of wakes up and has this moment of panic like "oh god oh fuck I can't be here im so fucking scared but I can't move I can't let him know I'm any different" and it's just this terrifying scene of "oh no what if he knows" before trickster eventually like. snaps his fingers or whatever and his power snaps back on . nothing comes of it but it's one of those things ashe Remembers bc I do think he remembers most of his lucid moments. aaaouugjhhb fuck oh fuck oh shit. nightmare nightmare nightmare!!!!!! don't even get me fuckign started on post-muse ashe and his trauma responses to basically every shred of comfort he could possibly receive. god. I can't even add anything to that it's just so good. once again virion sol is everyone's rock!!!!!!!

oh you wanna think about muse and trickster? yeah? it's been a while since I put a heartbreaking nhw post in your inbox <3 I know u love the prime dehumanization loss of bodily autonomy defenders. << im not even remotely trying to keep the acronym the same anymore. I've lost the plot. ANYWAY

briefly mentioned this before but because I loooove the aesthetic so much I think at least one important muse confrontation should happen in the tricksters city, specifically in the amusement park. make it like a fuckign scooby door episode everything is all abandoned and run down but as the wards are walking down a boardwalk or something all the lights flicker on and some distorted fuckign. carnival music starts playing and they find muse sitting in like. the rebar scaffolding or whatever in the ferris wheel. just like grinning chin in hands kicking his feet watching them. this image is so clear in my mind. some creep shit !!!! also its like when they first go to the spirit world to get tide back from.mal and end up in the amusement park. except ashe isn't with them this time

uhhhhhh also thinking about. downtime. when muse isn't out being destructive and causing chaos for funsies. like... does he have a bedroom????? does he eat does he sleep??? idfk !!!! I would assume he has to or else he'd fucking die but !!!! man the trickster is so far gone I don't think he even realizes his puppets are real people anymore. that's a fun little doll for him to play dressup with. literally never going 2 get the image of him braiding muses hair and like. putting makeup on him and dressing him in fancy little outfits out of my mind. making myself ILL. smile! good evening I'm gently placing the knife box in your in. << as I was going to type inbox I accidentally typed out inventory. yknow what I'm keeping it. knife box directly into your inventory. watch out they're RUSTY

GOD. THANKS FOR THE KNIFE BOX MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! knife box directly in my inventory!!! u know what this means is that now i can use them :3 <- has been drawing wards stuff abt this for the past two hours ^_^

this is so fucking good though yeahhh.... i love creepy carnival shit so much. he trickster probably Knows it's very over the top and horror movie creepy and just a little absurd. he's so fucking fun 2 think abt since he's literally always doing shit simply because it is funny to him. we can swing a trickster justification for anything probably. i bet he fucking saw traps people!! anyway. ashe isn't with them this time. except..... well. he kind of is. :(

I HAVE ALSO BEEN THINKING ABT DOWNTIME. FREQUENTLY. i guess. the answer to this is he lives however the trickster&co does. the image of him coming back in his fancy intricate little outfits to some disgusting nasty bloody industrial warehouse where they're posted up & always being this very jarring contrast to the gore and violence is really good. the image of him having a perfect doll bedroom and going through a fancy little routine half the nights when the trickster is in a good mood or feeling it & just. getting thrown on the bed & the door locked to pass out for a couple hours whenever he forgets or is busy is also really good. literally anything we do to muse makes me feel some kind of way man. i also have had the extremely vivid image of the trickster braiding his hair & chatting about all kinds of horrific things excited sleepover style to muse who is just. Visibly Not There in my head for so long. not even like he has to touch him, he could be making him do all these things for himself! he's literally controlling him! he just does it for fun!!!

anyway i think post-muse ashe should get to freak out very badly in a multitude of ways whenever anybody touches his hair. like i think he's touch-adverse in general (& miserable about it because he's also so touchstarved & his brain simply whites out in distress anytime anyone touches him because. literally the only person doing that was the trickster!!!!) but i think specifically his hair being messed with is a bad trigger for him. makes him freeze up n go nonverbal for hours. dakota knows that he's jumpy about touch but he still wants to do something for him & before the everything he loved them playing with his hair (its so long!! wibby & dakota think its so pretty!! virion's the only one who knows how to braid it because of his mom!! ashe melts into a puddle over it every time because nobody's ever done that for him before!) so he goes to just run fingers through it & ashe just. fullbody locks up and goes weird and still and silent & doesn't protest or fight back when dakota shakes his shoulder or smth and his eyes are distant and sort of dark and empty like virion's were most of the time when they first met him... maybe he wants to cut it a little bit just because he hates that it's been covered in The Ooze and he can't do anything with it without thinking about how the trickster would do the same thing but also he hates the idea of getting rid of the one thing abt himself that he really likes & is a little connection with both of his parents because of the trickster also, when he's already taken so much from him. (it does have to get gross and tangled and matted because he refuses to put it back or do anything to it for a while though. maybe virion helps him sort it out & it's slow and painstaking and miserable for both of them and they both feel better at the end of it.)

[qhoaaaa]

SO *claps hands* MILO GREER HUH 💛

I feel like if Erik ever does a flashback of Milo/Sweetheart becoming mates

I just

KENDOWHWOEDN

Think that Milo would be so fucking nervous

"Yeah, I just....see you... as my mate... yeap! And I know we've talked about this before and I just... wanted to say that... uhm... no, wanted to ask if... you'd wanna be my... mate?"

(Insert more lovey dovey shit he is yapping abt how amazing Sweetheart is and has been to him and how they have affected his life)

100% Asher would be more awkward but Milo's nerves are fucking SHOT because he's like holy shiiiiiitt I'm gonna fuckign do this aren't I yes I am

Trying to see if Milo would ask/say it in his apartment or the place where they hunted the Shade down together

Bc he's sentimental

Fucker (I love him)

"My ma is gonna be so fuckin happy"

He's crying your honor

Love a man whose in touch with his emotions

When Sweetheart says yes he's like,

"No shit... WAIT what did you say... yea, that's what I thought... (he's like how the fuck did i get to this point)... w-well what do I do now? I DONT KNOW IVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE"

Ahem (NSFW 18+ AFTER CUT)

Tagging! @annahxredaxted @moronkyne

He mounts them.

This is shameless smut you've been warned. 😈

They fuck first in the woods (if he asked in the woods) , then later at his apartment bc we all know these two can't keep their hands off each other...

Hands gripping their hips, it just comes natural to him, especially after they said yes to being his mate.

Let's out the most feral and gutteral moan when he presses inside them

And erm,,, 🥺

Bites.

Tons of biting, claims he wants to have his scent all over them and loves to see his teeth prints on their sweet neck and shoulders

If Sweetheart is on their belly, he bites at their nape, as if trying to keep them still (RHSIDBDJEJE PLEASE PELASEE EPWLSLSLEELEJR)

"My mate... my fucking mate! Mmhh, gonna... gonna fuck you nice and deep... just how my mate likes it..."

He legit won't stop touching them, his hands sliding over their sides, nails lightly pressing into them, he presses his cheek to their neck to smell them, to smell their pleasure, to hear their gasps and moans: he's worshipping them

Milo kinda likes to manhandle them, so there's times where he grips their hips up off the bed/surface and it makes them shiver, he flips them over onto their back to touch their chest and belly, and scoots closer between their legs to fuck them senseless

He does that thing where he moves Sweetheart's legs straight up and holds them and fucks between their thighs before slipping into their hole, he also spanks their thighs while he fucks them a bit

Kinda like honeymoon sex except they're not married, they're mates

And the whole time, he's just rambling on thanking them for being in his life, for being his mate, and being super cute and sappy while he's about to cum inside them

HE LAUGHS DURING SEX, BE STILL MY HEART

They fell asleep with his cock still inside them and in the morning when they're both up, Milo gently fucks into them again, holding them tight to his chest and he has the honor to see them cum on him AND to cum in them again

If they're feeling it, Sweetheart asks Milo for the good old 69 and Milo's like....

"I fucking love youuu"

Milo's on the bottom (they actually push him on the bed and are like "you better fucking stay down and let me please you" and hes like "ooh... hell yeah Sweetheart" (heart eyess)) , Sweetheart is on top and they're fucking deep throating his cock so well he tells them to go slower or else he'll cum too quickly and they're like, ok and?? , he just laughs and then they just plant themselves on his face

Then Milo's got his hands wrapped around their thighs and is NOT letting them go, occasionally he'll have his hand caress up their spine to see them squirm and he'll wrap his hand in their hair, pulling back gently, to see them arch

Even like this he can't resist to spank and grab at their ass, especially if they're fucking SITTING ON HIM (insert that one meme of Doja Cat about big noses)

When they finally cum, Milo kinda shakes his face against them to get every last drop, his tongue swirling everywhere. This man needs their cum.

And Sweetheart makes him cum when they take his cock as far as it'll go and stay there until that cock is done pumping in their mouth.

They are both cum slutsI MEAN WHATAATTEEJEJDIEJOJ

I'm done yapping goodnight

[08melancholie]

Light Banter. — Micah/Reader

tags: Grief/Mourning, Loss, Death, Mistakes, Soft Micah Bell, Crying, Men Crying, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt, Emotional Hurt, Murder, Brutal Murder, no comfort, Minimal fluff, Trauma, Psychological Trauma, Not Proofread, Not Beta Read, no beta we die like micah bell, and reader lol

summary: The things Micah would do to go back in time and listen to Dutch, the things he'd said about you. Just for once, to rewrite this passage in his life. But that's an ending he may never face; so he must learn to cope with his mistake—both of your mistakes, and must do so all alone.

a/n: so ummmm ive been thinking abt my own fic for the entire two days ive been writing it LIKE i was in class imagining one of the scenes. micah bell angst LETS GOOOOO !!!!

words: 3,648 | AO3 LINK

Dutch is many things; controlling, manipulative, power-hungry—but somehow never wrong. And Micah had to learn that the hard way.

How he said the two of you were a match made in hell—he was right there. When he said you were both the biggest pains in his arse, always causing trouble wherever you went; when he had to put you both on camp-arrest, an attempt at lecturing you to not go into random bars and start fights; when he'd refuse to send you on jobs together, because he knew the outcome every time.

And you both should have listened, for once.

Another day brings you more trouble to stir. Micah and yourself have been out all day—early morning to late afternoon. Few folks were robbed; few non-compliant killed. It was a bit ruthless and brutal—but you were outlaws, so who cares?

Well, Dutch cared. Too much, in your opinion.

Always had his nose in your business, finding ways to scold you and Micah for any minuscule mission that ended in bloodshed or law. But that was your nature! And per his own word, you can't fight your nature—and so you won't.

Now, was that worth being sat in his tent, talked down to for hours? Well, yes. You either zoned out every time, or were struggling to hold in your chuckles and chortles with Micah; always worsening your situation.

Like today.

"You two are just.. unbelievable!" Dutch is scolding you like two children whom were just caught stealing candy from the corner store. He made you sit down on his cot before he started tearing into you both for another bar fight two towns over—initiated by Micah this time. "I sometimes just want to keep you both in camp, doing chores—because this isn't the way to go about." He adds, and it falls on deaf ears as you space out wherever while Micah just.. sits there, staring at him as if he's processing the words coming out of his mouth, when he in fact isn't. Dutch sees this and is simply fed up. "You know what? We're not gonna continue like this."

His next words get your attention instantly.

"I'm separating you two." Your eyes dart up to meet Dutch's dark ones, glistening with distaste. "No more sharing a tent; no more doing jobs together; hell, if you make me go that far, I'll prohibit you two speaking to each other." He barks, and you feel your heart drop to your feet.

"The fuck?" Dutch shoots you a glare at the vulgar reply and raised tone. "You can't do that, Dutch." You protest, standing up off the cot. Micah's head shoots up to look at Dutch, just as surprised and protesting.

He stands firmly above the two of you, looking and talking down on both. "I can do as I please," He stands back to his desk, where he previously was. "already had Charles start to move your—" He gestures to you. "—things out into a different tent at the other side of camp."

Your jaw goes slack and you feel like you have to pick it off the floor. "That.. Dutch! You can't be serious, that's just plain cruel!" You protest, clearly against the entire idea. But, everyone knows who has the last word; it's the reason Micah hasn't talked all night, and the reason he's been watching you, bewildered at how you're protesting to Dutch's word so confidently.

"I am not changing my mind; get out of my tent, both of you." He says firmly, and you have to be dragged out by Micah as to not pounce on Dutch right then and there.

Micah grabs you and—reluctantly, because he'd love to see you ravage the bastard like a wolf—leads you out of the tent, sighing after you exit and shut the flaps behind yourselves. "As much as I'd love to see it, I can't have 'ya killin' Dutch."

It felt much more real when you've left the tent.

Your eyes snap over to where you shared tent would be; split into two, like they were before you 'moved in' together. "This is bullshit.. he can't just segregate us!" You turn to Micah, who looks just as upset.

"I hear 'ya," He places his hands on his hips, looking at the tent as well. "but.. we both know there's nothing we can do." The truth in his words is painful, and you almost don't want to believe it. "Let me help get yer stuff in." He offers, and you nod with a small frown.

Micah helped you get your stuff across camp, the choice of being moved surprising most onlookers who caught a glimpse of what was going on. You just felt worse; even they didn't understand the choice Dutch made. You were reluctant on sorting the last item in its original place, slowly placing your last book into a drawer. "I.. I won't be used to this—I can't do this, Micah." You turn to face him, looking up with a quivering frown.

Micah feels for you. He doesn't even know if he'll be able to process this. He got used to having you in the tent; reading on your shared bedroll before he'd lay himself down, and you'd start reading aloud to him; early mornings where you'd slip out before him—if he managed to get some shuteye, ever—and greet him with coffee; pouncing on him whenever there was a job the two of you could do together. He'll miss it all. "C'mere, I know.." His arms extend to you, and you waste no time in pressing yourself up to him, wrapping your arms around his torso.

You felt safe there—and you know it sounds foolish; safe in the arms of a bloodthirsty, ruthless killer? Well, that was the honest truth. Before you were this close and started sharing bodily contact every day, his hugs—because rare—always felt much more meaningful and real. Your face buries itself in his chest, hands hugging him from under his arms and resting on his back, where his hands find your sides and squeeze reassuringly. You can't tell if he's trying to reassure you or himself right now. "Why would Dutch do this to us?" You huff into his coat.

He looks down at the top of your head. "Beats me, darlin'. I can't put my finger on it, either." He shifts one hand to your back and traces your spine slowly. "But it's damn unfair, that's one thing."

You nod against him in agreement, then pull away slightly, to be able to look up at him. "I think that we should part right—there's an O'Driscoll camp out west, close enough to be a problem." You smirk up at him, and he returns it.

"Oh, yeah? Is there, now?" He releases his hold on you, letting you take a step back. "Well, what're we waiting on? Don't want Dutchy stoppin' us here, do we?" He brings your smile back to your face, and you instantly make a b-line for your horses, mounting up and not caring about the approaching Hosea, trying to stop you.

The ride to this camp was pretty quick, seeing as the both of you were overly excited about it. You were going to end this right, have fun and then probably sneak off to do jobs and have one of the girls cover for you, like they have before when you got 'grounded' by Dutch a few months back. "And there it is," You point out the small outpost-looking area ahead, hitching your horse close-by, but not too close either. "In all her O'Driscoll glory."

"She looks promisin'," Micah jumps off of his horse, following your lead as you take coverage behind a nearby boulder. "tell me how we're doing this, partner." He looks over to you, ready for your command.

Now, whereas you always usually had a plan on how to do things, you just wanted to stress-relieve this time. And so, you did exactly that. "The plan is, you shoot everyone but me and yourself." You give a brief chuckle before drawing your guns. "I just need to relieve some of these emotions, and killin' off O'Driscoll scum will do it perfectly for me." You add.

Micah's smile turns into that devilish grin you love; taking his DAs out swiftly. "Oh, you've got it, girl." He laughs wickedly—oh, how you love that sound. You nod and cock your weapons, rising from your spot.

The entire area smells of blood and gunpowder, a scent you've gotten much more used to since meeting Micah and going on blood-thirsty missions with him. Bodies are scattered all around; faces with bullet holes in them, slit necks and penetrated chests. You and Micah were stood in one of the cabins there, searching through the many drawers, cabinets and closets inside the room. "Damn, these bastards were poor as dirt." You lean on the table behind Micah, on the opposite side as you watch him search through a closet, his back turned to you.

"I found a few pocket watches, but that's about it." You add.

"Hm, well 'least we got something, wouldn't dream of getting back to Dutch with noth—"

His sentence is interrupted by a horrifying squelching sound. Your breath hitches, nearly just enough to silence you. "Mic.. ah—" Your words are knocked out of your mouth by the sharp pain in your waist, and the hand on your mouth.

Micah turns around immediately, met by the traumatising sight of a knife in your side, a barely alive O'Driscoll's hands on you as he runs the knife deeper, slowly and excruciatingly painfully. "What the—" He draws his revolvers, pointing them at the man who tuts at him like at a bad dog.

"Don't do that, Micah." You let out a breathless gasp when the man twists the knife inside you, your hands shakily trying to push him off. You're gasping into the hand on your mouth, backing up into him as your eyes water. You never had a bad pain tolerance; it was more the look on Micah's face at the predicament you both got yourselves into now that had you wanting to cry. "You killed my brothers, 'ya rat."

Micah's unsure in what he's supposed to do. He grips his guns tightly, staring wide-eyed at the sight before him as he scrambles for any way to stop your pain, watching you squirm for release. "Let her go, she ain't done nothing."

The man just laughs and gives another twist of his hand and knife in your side that has you gritting your teeth together. "She slit one of 'em's throats. Wild little thing, is she?" His breath is hitting your neck as he speaks, clasping his hand down harder on your mouth. His knife handle is almost soaked, red staining your light blue shirt and trickling down to your jeans. Just as he stops twisting it, he pulls it out. You squeak out in pain, shutting your eyes closed.

Micah practically growls, watching the man pull the knife out and press the soaking red blade to your throat. "Please—don't." He's desperate, barely able to look at you fighting to stay standing, gripping onto the mans' forearm for dear life. Dear life, indeed.

"Wow," The O'Driscoll laughs, pressing the blade in harder. "beg me some more, Micah Bell. Never thought you was that kinda person." Micah is fighting between anger and worry; wanting to rip the man's head off while watching you squirm, losing more and more blood by the second.

His blood runs cold when a dead silence fills the room and you still up—the knife painting your neck red.

"No!—" He shoots the man dead on the spot, a headshot right into the forehead. He drops his guns and kneels to you, making you sit up and lean on the wall. "Damn it! No, no—don't do this to me, girl.." He unbuttons his undershirt and rips a piece up out of it, trying to hold it up to your neck in an attempt at saving some blood loss. "Come on, you can't do this to me—this is not how we said we was parting, sweetheart," He holds your hand up to your neck, your eyes rolling back as you cough and clench your side. "Please, please don't."

As an outlaw, this was actually how you always envisioned your demise. But, you never thought it'd be this brutal—or that Micah would be forced to watch. "Micah—" You attempt to speak, and it sounds terrifying; your voice isn't you, it doesn't sound like you.

"Don't talk, baby. I'mma.. I'll get'chu home.." You can't really tell if he's trying to convince himself or you that there's a possibility of redemption here, the horrifying look in his eyes as your blood paints the floor and himself, the hand holding yours over your neck getting soaked and trickling down his whole arm. He's getting just as bloody as you, and yet he still thinks there's a way to save this. "It's not too deep.. I can still get 'ya home.." He's huffing and out of breath, as if he just ran a marathon.

You use the hand on your hip to shakily touch his shoulder, removing it from the first knife wound. "No—.." You mumble breathlessly, shaking your head at him. "Stay.. while I go." You manage out, blood leaking down your front from between yours and Micah's fingers.

"No, please—please let me help 'ya. Don't do this to me." He's pleading with you, reaching his free hand to hold onto your side. "Please." He's never experienced loss like this; for a man that killed and saw death since he was a young boy, he sure wasn't prepared.

"Hug me."

"Y/N, don't."

"Hug. Me."

"I love you, darlin'. Why won't you let me help you?"

"Please, Micah. Hug me, hold me in my last moments."

His hands release your wounds. One goes to the back of your head, leaning you into his chest as the other runs through your hair. "I never wanted this, baby. I'm so fucking sorry." He's whispering into your ear while running his bloody hands through your hair, pressing you into himself. This is how you always wanted to die; in the hands of your favourite person, getting to hold them and breathe in their scent, making sure they're the last memory you have despite the way you'd die.

You start to feel woozy; dizzy. You feel your breaths leaving your lungs, your life leaving your body. This, was something no amount of preparation could calm you. "I'm.. scared." You manage out, holding onto his shoulders with a surprising amount of strength.

"Don't be, baby. You'll feel better." He hums, his voice cracking. "And I'll see you there, too. I'll be there, at some point." He whispers, pulling you away briefly to press a kiss to your forehead, wiping some blood off of your neck before leaning you back into him. "I'mma bury you at the nicest spot you'd have ever seen. I'll visit you every day, babygirl. I know you love tulips; how 'bout I plant some there? You'll love that, won't you?" He rambles into your hair.

A haunting silence. Your breaths slow down and hands stop gripping his shirt, and you go limp on top of him. That's what truly breaks him as his eyes water, maybe for the first time in multiple decades. "Oh, baby. I'll make sure you have the prettiest little spot.. with the prettiest little flowers." His tears stream down to your face as he pulls you away to look at you; his beautiful, strong girl.

"Me an' Charles'll bury you, give you the best spot in the entire damn country. I'm so goddamn sorry."

After a moment of silence, he got up and grabbed his guns, holstering them before gently picking you up. He got you up on his horse, calling your own to follow him as he left the massacred O'Driscoll camp behind—not before setting a fire to the cabin in which the man who killed you laid. Just in case.

He held you against him the entire ride back to camp which felt much longer without your little quips and stories, uncaring of how stained his clothes were from your blood. He occasionally leaned down to kiss the top of your head, fastening you against him.

Getting into camp was probably the most terrifying part. He hitched up and held you against him as he stood at the entrance of the campsite, feeling shellshocked. He looked down at your unmoving body, his eyes narrowing to your much more peaceful face.

"Oh, Micah."

His head perks up to the sight of Hosea, standing up from the campfire and slowly walking over, his eyes wide and one hand covering his mouth. "Micah.. Micah, how.?" Hosea was at a loss for words; hell, he assumed you invincible from how many close calls he had to watch you suffer through, so seeing you unmoving in Micah's arms was a terrifying sight. "No—you don't have to say anything. I'll.. get Charles—Charles!" He turns and yells for the other man, as Micah looks back down to you, waiting on Charles.

He soon shows up and instantly frowns, looking down at your body. He looks up to Micah after a moment of silence.

"You know where you want to bury her?"

It was a nice little hill, always painted in flowers during the spring. There was a lake nearby—you always loved sneaking off and skinny-dipping with him, uncaring of Dutch's lecture the next day when you'd be too tired to work. You liked smelling things, too; from flowers to Pearson's meals to Micah himself. You constantly got up into his chest and took in his scent when he hugged you—or when you involuntarily tacked him into an embrace. He'll miss your little surprise attacks on him. He hopes that the flowers will be enough to smell for you.

"Do you want a moment before we lower her in?"

Charles' voice gets Micah out of his zone, and he looks at the man. "Thank you.." He grumbles and Charles nods, walking off a few feet to give Micah his well-deserved privacy.

Micah takes a seat down next to your lifeless body, now cleaned up and dressed in your favourite outfit. You looked mostly like yourself—if you ignore the paleness of your skin and neck wound openly displayed, unable to be hid behind your shirt collar. He takes you in for one final hug, breathing in your scent, like you would with him. It pained him that you smelled like gunpowder and blood in your last moments, but at least the perfume Karen offered to put on you made a small difference. He embraces you for a long time, enough for Charles to come back and interrupt, asking Micah if it'd be okay now. And Micah knew you needed peace; so he agreed.

His eyes could barely stay opened as Charles shuffled dirt over your body, losing the sight of you slowly. He bit his lip, watching the last of your face get lost in the surrounding dirt. His eyes watered briefly, but he couldn't let himself cry in front of Charles, so he shoved it down.

Charles tapped the back of the shovel over the dirt pouch, flattening it out before taking a step back. "There," He turns to Micah briefly. "I'll leave 'ya to.. process it. Seems you still need to." He hums before walking away, leaving Micah holding back tears before your grave.

Despite never being a religious man, he hoped that an ending was real and that you'd gotten your peace, even in your brutal suffering.

People in camp mourned you and visited your grave for a few weeks before most stopped and moved on. But Micah couldn't.

He was there every day—early morning to late evening, if not downright sleeping at your burial. He had issues with insomnia before, and you always made it easier to fall into the slumber he always hoped for. Sleeping next to your grave hasn't helped too much, but he feels better; not wanting you to rest alone, by your wish you vocalised when Dutch wanted to split your tent apart. Your grave was cared for immensely, and there was barely any space around it from the overwhelming amount of flowers Micah had either bought or planted himself. He had one of the girls teach him how, and made sure to include dozens of tulips. He knew what you liked.

"You've been gone three and a half months, baby. I still bring 'ya tulips.. but I'm not sure if you're getting tired of them." He spoke to your gravestone a lot; he missed your voice immensely, now regretting the few times he'd space out while you yapped his ear off about some random topic. "I planted a few roses, I know you like 'em too."

"Hope you can see and hear me, darlin'. Did you know I got your name into my other barrel, huh?" He takes his right revolver out, tracing his fingers over the initials he carved into the guns' barrel. "Yeah... it's real nice, huh?" He holstered the weapon again, looking down at you under the dirt patch for a moment before looking up at the sky. Somehow, it always looked the prettiest when he'd visit you.

"That's you, ain't it, sweetheart?"

The sky was a mix of neon oranges and pinks, slowly fading into light, morning blues as the sun made its way up the horizon. The clouds were nowhere to be found, letting the sun pass into another day. Another day he spent with you.

"Hi to you too, my sweet girl."

Kudos on AO3 very appreciated! Finally finished this fic dear God. I want this man so bad its unreal chat.

[fairyhaos]

how seventeen react to you planning their birthday surprise

requested by @minhui896: "hi!! if you don't feel comfortable writing this or anything that is perfectly fine! i think ive been obsessed with birthday fics they just make me happy :) so i was wondering if you could do a ot13 svt reacts to you planning their birthday! if ot13 is too much you can just do your favorite members as well!"

notes: this is one that i really enjoyed doing, haha <3

masterlist

seungcheol:

when he's surprised at the surprise birthday party that you plan for him, that's his genuine shock. had absolutely no idea that you were doing all of this in secret. trusted you completely when you said you had unfortunately had no time to plan a big event n so you were just going to take him on a small date instead </3 started crying a little when you guys came back to the house after the date to realise his birthday celebrations had only just begun

jeonghan:

this man sees everything. well, almost everything. he knows you're planning something for him, thinks it's going to be one of those surprises where everyone jumps out at him. practices acting shocked for it, but then is genuinely surprised when the celebration turns out to be just you and him, having a fancy, quiet meal on the rooftop by yourselves of some expensive restaurant. it warms his heart at the sincerity and intimacy of what you've planned for him

joshua:

you probably told joshua everything about the event you were planning for his birthday. he most likely ended up planning half of it with you tbh, but he doesn't mind bc it makes him feel so loved to see you so excited for his special day. allows you to drag him around the fairground to keep to the schedule you've planned, and the highlight of the day is when you scheduled the timing just right so that you're at the top of the ferris wheel in time to see the beautiful winter sunset <3

junhui:

the guy had no clue, i promise you. lets himself be dragged out of bed by dokyeom early in the morning bc the younger "needed someone to help him buy shampoo" (at 6am??? but he doesn't think too much abt it) and follows him unquestioningly on the series of (planned) mishaps that the guy has. comes back to the house at noon, exhausted, then actually screams when you and the rest of svt come at him with balloons and party poppers. even tho you almost gave him a heart attack, he loved his birthday surprise very much

hoshi:

is all hyper like an excited child. when you tell him you have something special planned for his birthday, his eyes light up brighter than anything else in the world. is rlly confused when you tell him to dress comfortably, n is pestering you to give him a clue of where you're going the entire ride to the destination. almost drops to one knee right then and there when you guys get to the adult soft play you booked for him and yourself. has the time of his life, gets drunk and gives you sloppy kisses everywhere he can reach

wonwoo:

eyes go as round as saucers and he starts beaming rlly adorably when you wake him up with breakfast in bed on his birthday. jokingly asks what the special occasion is, and eats everything with gusto. you take him to a big cat sanctuary, and he is in awe of all the different wild cats you see. it's a quiet birthday, but he's so touched that you went out of your way to do this for him and honestly, he thinks getting to spend the day with you is the best birthday event ever

woozi:

wakes up at 2pm to your face looming over him asking if he had a good sleep. part of your birthday surprise was to turn off his morning alarms and let him rest for once, which, once he realises, has him laughing n smiling rlly widely. your birthday surprise for him also comes in the form of a song you wrote and composed (with the help of hoshi and vernon), and he listens so intently with tears forming in his eyes because goddamnit you really love him so much and he's so grateful you do

minghao:

he tells you offhandedly one time that he thinks he'd like it if someone planned something extravagant for his birthday, so you go all out. there's an early-morning treasure hunt to find you via post-it notes n smugly grinning members, then you take him to lunch in a newly opened dog cafe he's said he's wanted to go to, before finally you dress up to go see a theatre in an extravagant hall, ending the day with orchestral music ringing in your ears as you eat homemade cake that mingyu had left on the table once you came back home, dabbing frosting on each other's noses. he's tired, but he's smiling, and he thinks he's never loved you more than he does right now. 

mingyu:

has the most dramatic reaction ever. your surprise could have been handing him a burnt cake you'd made and he'd be sobbing all over it. as it were, however, you'd planned a whole spread of food for him while he'd gone to the cinema with some of his friends, and so he ends up being an inconsolable mess at your feet because it all smells so good and why didn't you tell him you knew how to cook??? you can't finish everything, but you two try your best, and he's grinning dopily bc he's all happy-full and it's all because of your wonderful cooking

dokyeom:

another person who genuinely had no idea you were planning something for him. when you wake him up with breakfast in bed, he thinks it's going to be a quiet day, but oh boy is he wrong. finds himself absolutely loving it as you rattle off all the plans you have for the day while he's stuffing his face with pancakes. takes pictures of everywhere you go and everything you present to him. kisses you softly under the night sky as you're sitting on the roof of your house, telling you quietly and sincerely that this was the best birthday event he's ever had

seungkwan:

was lowkey stressed that he'd end up having to plan his own birthday again, so when he walks into the living room to see you next to a whiteboard with a whole schedule of events, he genuinely breathes a sigh of relief. takes a picture of your timetable, but lets himself relenquish control to you as you take him practically everywhere he's ever wanted to go on a whistlestop tour throughout the day. everything is so meticulously planned out, and he tells you very seriously over wine and pasta in a fancy restaurant that he will give you a birthday celebration next time that is as wonderful as this

vernon:

when you wake him up with a simple "happy birthday" in the morning, he can't lie that he's a little disappointed. he thought you'd do something a little bigger for him. but when it's nearing the evening, you tell him to get dressed into something warmer and he visibly lights up. is in absolute awe when the two of you drive to a stargazing sight in the middle of the countryside. gets all hyper, tells you all the weird facts he knows. you two end up leaving after a few hours bc it's cold, but he's beaming and he's so happy that you did this for him

chan:

when he's woken up by you throwing off his covers and leaving him shivering in the winter morning, he's a little disgruntled but eventually grows utterly excited when you tell him over breakfast (that someone else made bc neither of you can cook all that well) that you and the rest of the group are taking him to a roller disco. (he's even more excited when you make a point to tell him that you paid for his ticket but the other members had to pay for their own.) still considers that roller disco party to be his best birthday celebration ever

request guidelines

[indiegame]

the one who said he's be the latest showed up first

there is nothing more irritating to me then cancelling / saying you'll be late AFTER the time to meet has passed

[roxyzwritez]

pearlrose content

wanna see how ive been writing all these episodes? spoiler: it was not written with the intent to be read. but its really cute if you can get past and decipher my writes. (also im not 100% sure i like how i did this. may redo this one.) pls feedback. also @rosenotactuallyquartz i think you may like this ((im sorry abt the near daily tags))

under the cut so dashes don't get flooded

greg wakes up. gets coffee. gets breakfast. sits outside. frown.

rose floats over.

rose: good morning greg!

greg: hey rose.

rose: what's the matter? :(

greg: i was hoping you wouldn't ask.. im not doing great.

rose: why is that?

greg: i thought i'd be so happy that you're back. i thought i'd still be completely in love with you like i was before, but.. i just don't feel it anymore. im sorry.

rose, frown: that's okay, greg. we can be friends. i understand. i disappeared for 14 years- not that long to me, but that's a long time for humans. i understand if your feelings changed. especially with all my.. mistakes… revealed. im just glad you told me.

greg: are you sure? its okay to be upset, rose.

rose: i dont follow human relationship dynamics. im a little sad, sure, but you're still a friend. its not the end of the world.

greg: as long as you're okay.

rose: i am. don't worry about me, greg.

greg: okay.

she looks at him with a smile before flying off back home. she walks in.

tumblr note: im really unsure abt the breakup thing honestly. it feels weird especially how she just instantly goes to pearl. tell me ur thoughts yall!

stv, eatin chaps: hey mom.

rose: hi steven. wheres pearl?

stv: ooooooo-

rose chuckles: oh, stop it.

stv: i think she went to her room. she's been in there a lot recently.

rose: huh. alright, thank you steven.

stv: no problem.

rose goes into pearls room.

rose: pearl?

pearl quickly gets up: y-yes rose? sorry, i didn't know you were coming.

rose floats on over: i would like to talk to you about something.

pearl,😳: o-okay.

rose: i know how you feel about me. but im not entirely sure you understand how i feel about you.

pearl looks away: but- greg.

rose, chuckling: pearl. i talked to him just now, and he told me he doesn't feel that way towards me anymore. and from what i understand about human relationships, being with multiple people is a bit of a problem. ive always loved you, pearl. i knew either this would happen, or he'd… reach his time at some point. this was always going to happen, pearl. i don't need future vision for that.

pearl: i-

rose tacklehugs her to the ground and they roll around happy. pearl happycries

rose: ohh, my beloved pearl. not my pearl, but my beloved pearl. does- does that make sense?- oh my- (starts laughing)

pearl, chuckling softly: i know what you meant, rose.

rose: okay. good. le smoochie

pearl: i love you, rose. so much.

rose: i love you even more.

pearl: no, i do.

rose, chuckling: oh, pearl.

they smile at eachother.

stv: that was the cutest thing i've ever seen in my life.

pearl extremely embarrassed: STEVEN!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE-

rose: pearl, its okay. they're all allowed to know. we don't need to be a secret. besides, garnet probably knows anyway.

pearl: o-okay. but steven please don't do that again.

stv: it was so worth it. i will never forget this.

rose: alright, steven. can me and pearl talk in private again?

stv: aww mann. okay. (leaves)

rose: you don't know how badly i wanted to be with you. always. it hurt that i couldn't be there for you for those years.. trapped in his gem. i wish i could've done something, but i just couldn't. believe me, i tried.

pearl: its okay. its not your fault. you're here now, and that is enough for me. (squeeze hug cry) im sorry for crying so much i cant help it.

rose: let it out, pearl. its okay. (soft hug n comforts back, headpats and otherwise adorable shit)

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

question for susie: who do you think are the top 5 other kirby characters that could most get along with her? the 5 most likely ones that could be her friends, basically

i usually try to answer these as soon as i get them bc i have autism but i actually didnt manage to this time bc.honestly? i dont think susie has 5 friends.best conclusion i got is she has 3 friends n 2 girls who think theyre acquaintances

susie is just.so herself? i feel everyone thinks shes some degree of obnoxious n lacking on morals n just kinda seems weirdly shady.for ppl that like her tho:

i feel kirby is rly obvious but Who Doesnt Kirby Like? susie helped last at the end of KPR so as far as kirby cares shes all set for becoming a friend! in fact she essentially already is! she hasnt done evil things again so rly theyre on great terms.she lets them test ice cream flavor samples for HWCs ice cream brand

i think both susie n magolor consider each other annoying but they mean it affectionately.they get on each others nerves (its nearly always magolor doing the annoying) but somehow get along great anyways.its a mystery they just never fight seriously

taranza would get along w her as well, i think out of every wave 3 character hes the most actually friendable for everyone bc his freak isnt immediately noticed, but.theyre both freaks w no moral compasses n taranza is a professional woman apologist n what would susie want more than to get cry shoujo tears explaining her tragic story while he pats her back like "i completely understand...you were so justified queen dont listen to the haters"

rly she could tell magolor n taranza shes doing anything morally questionable n theyd reply "okay lol" "okay ^_^" if not straight up go w her

now the next 2.susie sure has intense feelings abt but they do not !

susies intense grudge for francisca originates from susie never outgrowing her "i HAVE to kill girls i feel threaten ME being the prettiest in the room" phase bc she didnt get a proper growing up experience.shes constantly making up ways francisca is stealing the spotlight from her.idk francisca was probably more welcomed by the other allies bc shes polite (i am not claiming franny is a nice girlie shes just polite but has the american psycho monologue going on in her head that entire introduction) n susies never gonna get over that bc "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME EVERYONE LIKED!!!" anyways i think itd just be so godamn funny if francisca didnt? know susie wants her dead? shes socially absent she doesnt pay attention she doesnt care lmao.she thinks theyre acquaintances bc of how often susie "talks to her" (shes trying to be subtly mean).even if she realized susie hated her shed be like "okay lol.good morning to you too"

n ive already mentioned it before but im a suzan yuri believer but not a "susie can win anyone over" believer.shes had a long running lesbian crush on zan w 50 layers to it (ranges from "she has such an aura of coolness ♪" to "i can fix her n i can kill her father too i can save her" to "WE CAN MATCH EACH OTHERS FREAKS.TOGETHER.") n has tried every way to try winning her over n zan doesnt understand a single one of them.she believes theyre acquaintances.susie could literally kiss her n shed reply "...my HP bar is already full but thanks.i guess." ironically most times that get zan liking susie a little more is when shes not actively trying to rizz her up, bc oh man.susie was right they match each others freaks of "im the only normal person in this room.(unstable weirdo)".the only ppl this yuri can be considered toxic for is everyone else.

outside of those 5 i think everyone to some degree dislikes her.n yes i think shed play victim abt that.im a firm believer nobody in wave 3/4 save for flamberge is properly befriendable to most of the cast (franny n taranza r in good terms w most ppl but again.inner american psycho monologue girl n polite looking guy who had way too much working for the evil monarch).n thats their appeal theyre all kinda shitty ppl 🩷 i wish i could end this w a beautiful rant on how shitty traumatized ppl still deserve love n redemption but honestly i just think characters r more fun when they kinda suck lol

[sporesgalaxy]

I have been on testosterone for about 7 months now and ? It's absolutely has its gives and takes. Like I feel so much happier, I move a lot better (i am disabled, it is just easier to pull myself out of bed in the morning, etc etc), I feel a lot more confident, I laugh so much louder, my voice is much deeper! But lord. I am way more sweaty, I smell completely different, I have major acne, my voice cracks, my hormones went wild and sent me laughing and crying and grumbling all day the first few months, im literally going through puberty again! it's absolutely not for everyone!!! If you don't feel comfortable or confident or like youre just not ready for it yet- then you don't gotta! There's other answers to your situation and I think you're super valid and cool whether you take T or not! I wish you the best and hope you have a wonderful holiday season!!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing and thanks for the well-wishes!

nodding along to this, Ive read abt most of these effects before so no surprises there. Im glad to hear it helped you move better! not quite the same but I have some physical conditions that would be better if I got more exercise, I hadnt thought before abt that maybe being easier. Nice to consider.

The 2nd puberty stuff used to scare me more when my OCD was unmedicated. Now it sounds a lot more manageable. Also Im already pretty hairy and sweaty so maybe itd be less of an adjustment for me lmao.

Im pretty much decided that Id theoretically like hrt, but all the steps to get it just dont sound manageable to me rn. cest la vie

[glassphinix]

I neeeeed need need to know how Brynjolf reacted to DD's "death" 👀

And how DD reacted to Mercer's betrayal 👀 👀

:-D

[olli-online]

the second or third thing i do every morning after i wake up is check this blog so i can see if ive missed anything you've said. i want to pick ur brain apart. the way your mind works is so interesting to me. similarly to minamill in some ways i wish we'd grown up together because maybe we both would have been less lonely but at the same time i'm really grateful we know each other now- even though we're very far apart. if we'd drifted apart growing up i would have never forgiven myself. i miss you an embarrassing amount when we aren't talking. i think i'm probably a little unwell about you but im actively restraining myself from repeating the same mistakes. i think you're one of the most talented people i know from here and with a quick humour and creative spark to match. whenever you're upset or not feeling good it makes me feel kind of sick that i can't physically go comfort you about it- i don't know how to do it right with just words

im going to throw up u cant just say all of this on anon what the 🧎 WHO R U IM GONNA CRY SO HARD RN KISSING U ON UR FACE WHATT yeah im gonna be thinkinf abt this everyday now got me giggling kicking my feet the second i woke up. 'actively restraining myself' well stop it pretty pls 🥺

[oohbuggypie]

need to write BullDon hurt comfort so so bad .. Don coming home and crying smthn smthn they go to sleep Don cries all night but he wakes up the next morning with Bull and he feels better smthn smthn IDFK IVE JUST BEEN THINKING ABT TWO SCENES IN SPECIFIC THAT I WANNA WRITE OUTT Don crying makes me so sick but i want 2 write cute domestic stuff AURGH

[mattslolita]

omggg im ill 😩 my throat is so sore and im gonna cry. my bf was ill since thursday so i guess i caught whatever he had 😒 an i cant even hav tmrw off unless im literally dying cuz the schl counts it as UNAUTHORISED unless i go to the doctors to get a fucking doctors note. like what? im not going to the doctors cuz ive got a cold but they wont believe me otherwise LMAO. one day off counts as 2 tho so basically morning and afternoon not in. literally FUCK OFF!

also ive been listening to tory lanez cuz i lowkey forgot abt his songs 😭 the colour violet and hurts me r so good

ANDD give me nail inspo PLEASE any colour idm🙏

WDF WHY ARE WE ALL GETTING SICK ??? IM DEVELOPING A SORE THROAT TOO I THINK I CAUGHT IT FROM MY BROTHER. ur school PISSES ME OFF theres no way in hell bru...i hope u get better soon tho lovie !!

the only tory lanez song i ever listen to is luv 🙏