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ivant1ll · 2 years

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It's okay, I got you. I won't let you go. (comfort fic)

. . . Content Desc ! (ノ・ω・)ノ

i am finally back once again after a month. . . ⤿ ;; Mayoi Ayase x Reader ୧ .˚ₓ this is a . . . sad fluff // (technically angst but.. good relationship) -> TW : overall bad mental state, mentions of su!cidal thoughts. i've had this idea for a fic like this for some time technically to help me out at one point. but, now ive finally decided to actually work on it so this hopefully helps you just as it helped me. ILY <3 you're so pretty/handsome and keep on slaying !!! ^^ word count : 2099 [[ another long one.. sorry ! ]]

, , i kinda felt like changing up my formatting a bit for stuff so. . . hope it looks nice ! `` for once im not going to really write a setting up the scene, i just wanna get into things, seeing as theres not much setup i can really think of . . . ENJOY (ꈍᴗꈍ)

Staring at the ceiling for hours has become a norm for you as of late. Eyes heavy and tired, bloodshot red from having given into your feelings and bursting into tears once again. Your head can only simply register one thing, a single thought, "Why am I so tired?" But you know why you're tired, you know why you're here. But that's the last thing you want to think about. Maybe if you were to isolate your thoughts so much, it wouldn't seep out onto others, you wouldn't infect them with your incredible burnout and awful mental state. Maybe, if... you just weren't here anymore, you wouldn't have to let anybody down?

It's felt as if almost everything around you is slowly crashing down, the fact that it's all happened so slowly only makes it even worse. Like a "fuck you" that never goes away. Almost as if your new constant stresses and worries don't take up all the time in your day. Eating and sleeping have never felt like such a task, even as little as you've partaken in such tasks over these 2 weeks. "If I'm always hurting someone else or making their day worse, then why shouldn't mine be worse?" Nothing but self destructive thoughts, clawing and chipping away at the usual outspoken vivacious person that is yourself. Counting the hours that pass or occasionally opening your phone just to stare at your lock screen being the only thing keeping you from floating away in that awful fucked up brain of yours.

You feel truly utterly useless, everything you have done or tried to do has lost all its worth. The frowns of other people begin to feel like knives penetrating through you, twisting and mixing your insides, almost making you feel sick. You feel so embarrassed that your only thoughts can be "Why am I here?" or "What's stopping me." Why can't you just be normal? Why can't you just feel happy? You don't like isolating yourself, but you can't bother to leave your room even though it has been days.

As you continue laying there, every blink you make feeling tenfold of what it truly is, you are jolted back to your senses as you hear a soft knock coming from your door. Unable to really ignore it, seeing as you can't really lie about not being home, your car is outside. You return the knock, trying to hide how tired you are, "What happened?" The door then opens a small bit, only being the slightest bit ajar, just barely enough for a head to stick out from it. And that is just what happened, suddenly you see at first small bits of messy plum-purple hair stick in through the small crevice made. Then, you begin to see it, the face of the oh so lovely yet oh so timid Mayoi. At that very moment, it then suddenly hit you... "You've probably had your boyfriend worried sick this whole time." Mayoi had always been the type to show the highest bit of concern for you, no matter what was going on. But, he would never want to invade your privacy, if he think you needed your own space, he'd give just that. Even so, he'd always be right there by your side no matter what, through thick and thin Mayoi was there even if you two haven't decided to move in with each other yet. He would often have his moments where his overwhelming stresses and anxieties get the better of him and he can't help but break into a panic, being able to comfort him and help him through that would send your heart to the moon.

Mayoi's whole head suddenly peeks through the door, you hear a slight rustle coming from what seems to be something in his hand which is obstructed by the doors view. His striking cyan eyes always catch you off guard. It's always as if they are staring into the deepest part of your body, just studying you. With a concerned frown on his face, he can't help but see how tired you look, and seeing your face slightly red from the previous crying you had done only makes him more worried. Finally, Mayoi musters up the courage to say something.

"Y/n.. I'm really worried about you. Y-you haven't come out of your room in a few days, I'm so sorry for being a bother but, d-do you need me to stay for a few days?" Mayoi sounds like he might even shed a tear himself, you are simply shooken to your core seeing his face, the true worry, sadness, confusion. You don't want to leave Mayoi like that, but no matter what it just feels like you can't get your shit together. Feeling such guilt and doing nothing more than blaming yourself for Mayoi's concern, you ask him to come into your room.

He becomes a bit flustered at the request, "Are you sure I should come in? I don't want to invade your space."

"How could such a considerate person deserve me.." you'd think to yourself and you fight the urge to frown even more noticeably. "It's just fine Mayoi, you're welcome into my room at any time, please don't feel worried to step in." You give him the most comforting smile your face can possibly contort into. The plum haired boy begins moving around the scattered clothes and small bits of garbage flooding the ground, trying his very best not to step on anything. Along with the more steps into your room he took, the rustling noise from before had been revealed to you to have been indeed a bag that was hanging from his wrist.

Every second he inches closer to your bed, you can feel your body tensing up, your heart rate only raising. "He shouldn't have to go through all this trouble for me, why do I cause him all this trouble? I should be a normal, loving, happy partner, yet here I am. Doing nothing but causing him trouble. Why do I keep on making mistakes, I'm only hurting him, why would he even stay with me if I'm that much of a bother, why am I even here anymore?!" You can't help but panic, why must you torment yourself like this any time someone dares to care about you, any time someone would even try to open their heart to a vile awful person like you.

Suddenly, as Mayoi reaches your bed, you have lost all track of your thoughts, how far you have sent yourself in terms of blind panic. Because, low and behold, you are already in tears, sitting there right in front of Mayoi. You are only made aware of this once you feel one of the crystal drops run down your cheek, almost tickling it. Mayoi jumps a bit, not expecting this sudden reaction.

"Y-Y/n?! D-did I do something wrong, are you alright?! Please don't cry.... I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!" A billion thoughts rush into Mayoi's head slightly sending him into a panic aswell. You can't help but blame yourself as always for this situation. But, you do the only thing that you think you can do right now, you just... hug him, you latch your arms around Mayoi and you don't let go. Almost having him in a death grip, you can do nothing more than try to let yourself feel the warm embrace and try to calm your boyfriend down. You let out sudden sporadic sobs, not being able to contain all these bottled up feelings, Mayoi suddenly shakes each time you let one of the sobs out.

After choking on your words more than enough, you are finally able to get a few words out. "Mayoi... I'm-" you take a deep breath trying to stop another sob from coming out, "I'm so sorry.." but you couldn't stop it, more tears came out. "I do nothing but hurt you, I do nothing but cause you pain, I keep on bringing you down with my problems. I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you, I don't want to be constantly worrying you, but somehow I can always fuck up and do just that. I keep on fucking up for everyone, no matter how hard I try. I'm just... so tired, I'm tired and I can't do this anymore. It's all so hard, I'm just a waste of space that's been nothing but a useless burden to everyone." You take one last shaky breath, more tears coming, "I'm sorry....". You can no longer comprehend any basic words to use to express how you feel, absolutely out of any energy to say anything more. You just dig your head into Mayoi's shoulder, and once again hug him.

It takes a while for anything else to happen, but that's fine with you, just being in Mayoi's arms gives you a sense of comfort, but an unimaginable sense of pain. His hand begins to reach for your hair, as he shakily strokes it, just like a parent would with their child trying to lull them to sleep.

"Y/n... you haven't done a single thing wrong. I'm so sorry these feelings have been bothering you so much. Please tell me... y/n" He hesitates, slowing down the gentle strokes in your h/c hair, "Are y-you okay y/n? I'm really sorry for asking but, I can't see you so sad like this. I'm in no place to assume how you feel, so please, if you have anything going on, you can tell me."

Knowing Mayoi would be willing to give that kind of space to open up about how you feel, you decide to finally let it out. Though the embarrassment won't go away, though all the bad thoughts feel so loud, you can't keep this from him anymore. It's not worth keeping it all in anymore, not when Mayoi is so concerned about you. You suddenly begin to let everything out, talking about your struggles, your constant concerns, and well.. the thoughts you've had. Being as brutally honest as you can is all you can do, but you make sure to remind Mayoi that none of this is his fault and in no ways are you upset at him. The last thing you would want is to have him panicking which would only make things worse. The fact that he is even here listening to you, and so intently as he is already enough of a shocker.

"That's... about all, I'm so sorry about the mess aswell, I'm just.. a mess right now." You sigh as you look downward with a look of shame and embarrassment that you'd let things get this low. It takes Mayoi a bit of time to find the right words to say, a process which normally would take him a fair amount of time. Once finding out what he wants to say and how to say it, he gently holds your hand, looking into your e/c eyes with the same look you always get as you stare into his eyes.

"Y/n, you've never been anything of a bother, I should have checked on you more. Never would I believe you deserve any of this..." He pauses. Getting lost in your gaze, which shakes him up a bit, he regains his grounds, "I-i want to help you in any ways that I can... I love you, and I will be here for you. Though I am nowhere close to anything above average, I want to love and care for you in whatever ways I can. Everything is going to be okay y/n, I got you. I won't let you go."

The last sentence he let out shook you to your core, and you could feel yourself tearing up again. You then fall right into him, but not suddenly enough to catch him off guard, and you just lay there. Never has an embrace felt so... comforting, so loving, so reassuring. But, Mayoi has proved a hug like that can exist and that yes... everything might end up really being okay. After some time, you sit back up. Mayoi looks to his left where he had placed the bag he had in hand down during the breakdown, and he passes you the bag.

"I'm s-sorry if you aren't hungry, but just in case you are, I got you your favorite." He slightly blushes as you open the bag to find a large assortment of foods and snacks you like; you can't help but smile and look at him.

"Thank you Mayoi... thank you, I love you"

#enstars #ensemble stars #comfort #comfort fic #mayoi ayase #ayase mayoi #enstars x y/n #enstars x reader #ensemble stars x reader #ensemble stars x y/n #ilysm

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hurting-fictional-people · 3 years

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Okay guys, so I think I’m getting attached to these characters and might have more ideas for them... so please let me know if you’d be interested in seeing more?

CW: (putting them here because tumblr decided to be weird about my tags tonight) a whole lot of angst and betrayal, stabbed whumpee (recovering from it... kinda), collar and chains, IV mention. Please tell me if I missed something

Continued from here

tagging @thelazywitchphotographer and @swift-perseides

“You said you’d set Whumpee free if I gave you the information,” someone hisses somewhere above them.

The timbre of that voice is a familiar caress, soothing the uneasiness that threatened to take over as soon as consciousness approached. Still, there’s a sharp edge to it that propels Whumpee’s eyes to flutter open, even as it calms the fear.

“Can you prove it?”

That’s the sound that truly awakens them. The sound they hoped never to hear again, that sends chills down their spine and makes them squint their eyes against the dim light and groggily look around.

“Can I p– you know you said it, Whumper. Stop fucking around,” Caretaker growls. “If you don’t want to let me go, then fine. Keep me here. Torture me if you will. But leave them alone.”

“Ah, to be young and in love,” Whumper sighs.

Someone towers over Whumpee, large shoulders they know better than their own stand by their bed, restraining their line of sight to the wall to their right and the one in front of their bed.

“I gave you what you wanted. Now let them go.”

Before they can think about it, before they can even truly remember where they are or why or with whom, their hand reaches out and touches the soft skin of Caretaker’s arm, making them stiffen and turn around with a furrowed brow over softening eyes.

“You’re awake.”

It’s the worry underneath the words that brings it all back. The betrayal months before, all the hurt and bitterness, and then those last hours – minutes? – with a hole in their abdomen silently draining their life away, suffocating in pain.

They pull their hand back.

“What happened?” Whumpee rasps out, only then noticing how dry their throat feels.

They know what happened. Every second of it is etched on their mind forever, but the question still slips out, the need for reassurance bigger than anything else.

“I got you fixed,” Caretaker gives them a sad smile, “just like I promised I would.”

“Actually, I got you fixed,” Whumper says, walking around Caretaker to stop in front of Whumpee’s bed. “You’re welcome.”

Whumpee’s eyes dart between the two of them, narrowing at the way Whumper’s gaze shines with something dark while Caretaker holds themself statue still.

“How are you feeling, dear?” Whumper asks.

“Like I’ve been stabbed,” they grumble, frowning when Whumper chuckles. “Why am I not dead?”

“Poor thing, you were really out of it, weren’t you?” Whumper smiles as they hold Whumpee’s ankle through the sheets and rub circles that would’ve been calming coming from anyone else. “Caretaker took the deal in the end. Almost too late, but my doctors are pretty good, so you should heal just fine. If given proper time, that is.”

“So, what now?” they ask, half wanting to just close their eyes and pretend to still be asleep. Their throat pleads for water, but they don’t want to ask either of them, so they just swallow saliva and pretend it helps.

“Well, that’s a question for Caretaker to answer,” Whumper says, turning toward the third person in the room, the one keeping disturbingly silent, arms crossed and jaw clenched. Probably regretting saving them in the first place.

But Caretaker doesn’t say anything. All they do is glare at Whumper from their spot beside Whumpee’s bed.

“What do you mean?” Whumpee asks after a few seconds, stifling a yawn, eyelids pleading to close.

“They mean that they have no word,” Caretaker snaps. “Whumper wants to make another bargain even though they never fulfilled the first one.”

“Fine. But why am I here?” Whumpee whispers, forcing their eyes to stay open long enough to hear the answer.

“Because you’re the bargaining chip, lovely,” Whumper smirks, squeezing Whumpee’s ankle until they gasp.

Whumpee’s heart drops to the floor, and then lower.

Caretaker has saved them once, which was a miracle in itself. Expecting them to do it twice is just too much.

“Can we discuss this later, since you don’t seem inclined to negotiate right now?” Caretaker nods toward the door. “Whumpee needs to rest.”

“I guess they will be needing their strength very soon if you don’t change your mind,” Whumper sighs, winking at Whumpee as they walk to the door. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone for now.”

The lock clicks behind them, but neither Caretaker nor Whumpee acknowledges it. They’re too busy staring at each other to do much else.

Deep bags mar the skin under Caretaker’s eyes, just like it always happens when they don’t get enough sleep, and Whumpee hates themself for still remembering that.

“Why did you–“ save me, Whumpee tries to say, but their voice fails when a dry cough makes their chest heave and their wound hurt.

Caretaker is immediately leaning close, one hand splayed on their back and the other on their tight, each touch raising goosebumps along their skin. “W-water,” they rasp, closing their eyes at the humiliation.

But Caretaker doesn’t seem to notice how defeated Whumpee’s eyes are, how their cheeks burn red for having to ask them for something so simple. They simply grab a plastic water bottle from the bedside table and hand it to Whumpee. They gulp down the entire thing.

“How are you feeling?” Caretaker asks once they sag back on the mattress.

“Like shit.”

It’s true, but the irritated tone is nothing but a defense mechanism, and they fear as much as they hope that Caretaker notices it.

The pain is a constant weight in Whumpee’s stomach, and the medication slowly dripping into their veins through an IV makes them nauseous and sleepy, but none of it makes Whumpee any less confused or sad whenever they look at Caretaker.

Why did Caretaker save them? A blurry memory tickles their brain, of sobs that didn’t come from their lips, of trembling hands holding theirs, warm lips kissing their forehead when they couldn’t convince their eyes to stay open anymore. It dissolves before they can grasp it, leaving only an empty feeling behind.

“You should sleep,” Caretaker says when the silence grows uncomfortable.

“Are you regretting saving me already?” Whumpee whispers, averting their gaze.

“What? No.” It sounds so real they almost believe it. They want to, so badly, but they’d already made the mistake of trusting Caretaker once before. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

There’s a hurt edge to their voice that makes Whumpee’s eyebrows rise as they look Caretaker straight in the eye. “Tell you what?”

“What Whumper did. That you were bleeding out.”

Oh.

“You could’ve died, Whumpee. You almost did. If you had just told me they had stabbed you, it would never have gotten to that point.”

“Why do you sound so angry? You’re the one who taught me not to trust anyone. ‘I’m sorry I hurt you but I’d do it again’, remember? You are the one who said those words. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t think it would matter.”

Caretaker furrows their brows, opens their mouth, and turns around. Before they do, though, Whumpee catches the flash of pain and sadness crossing their eyes and pretends not to notice the glint of tears there.

The seconds tick by, and as the silence extends, pain and exertion make Whumpee’s eyes take longer and longer to open each time they blink. They are almost asleep when Caretaker’s voice sounds again.

“It’s not true, you know. It would’ve mattered. It’ll always matter when it comes to you.”

But Whumpee is already dreaming once they stop talking.

“So, have you made your choice?” Whumper asks from behind a ridiculously large desk. Caretaker folds their arms and doesn’t fight the will to bare their teeth. “We’ve talked through it already, Caretaker. It won’t even be any sort of bother, you just have to go in, pretend I let you free, and come back with the drive I gave you.”

“You and I both know it’s not that simple. You want me to infiltrate my own team, lie to their faces, and hand our biggest enemy a drive filled with classified information,” they bite back, hands curling into fists.

“Well, you can always say no,” Whumper leans back in their chair and grins. “You know I’ll even let you walk out if you do. And then I’ll have a pretty little pet to play with. The only downside is that dear Whumpee won’t last very long as my plaything with that wound of theirs.”

The words might as well be a blade sinking into their heart. And Whumper knows it, relishes the knowledge, laughing when Caretaker holds their breath.

It’s been three days since Whumpee’s woken up. Three days of poorly hiding the desperate need to be by their side, to make sure nothing would ever hurt them again. Three days of knowing that each small noise of pain Whumpee lets out, each hazy look they get whenever Caretaker says something kind or offers help, each distrustful glance, it’s all Caretaker’s fault.

Whumper doesn’t even bother hiding how much pleasure they take from locking Caretaker up until they can’t help but bang on the door and beg to see Whumpee. And when they do, it’s only to be hit by a new wave of pain breaking against their heart, flooding their veins with sorrow every time their eyes meet.

“Don’t fucking touch them,” Caretaker spits out, taking a step forward before they can stop themself.

“Is that a ‘yes Whumper, I agree with your terms’ I’m hearing, dear?”

“How can I trust you won’t hurt them while I’m gone?”

Whumper’s lips tug upwards, growing into a mocking, open smile. “You can’t. And I won’t even bother promising I won’t. So if I were you, I’d hurry up, because each second you try to stall me makes me even more excited to play with little Whumpee, and I don’t think they’ll appreciate my games as much as I will.”

It’s almost funny how a handful of words is capable of completely shattering someone’s heart, of stealing the ground from under their feet and filling them with dread all at once.

“Don’t you dare touch them,” Caretaker says, but it’s scared and quivery and both of them notice. “How the fuck do you expect me to leave with you saying you’ll hurt Whumpee?”

“Do they know how much you care about them?” Whumper muses, getting up and sauntering around the table. “Because I remember rather clearly Whumpee telling me you’d sooner offer them ruin than help.”

“What do you care?” they say through clenched teeth.

“It’s just intriguing how desperate you are to keep them safe and how oblivious they are of it. What did you do to make them so distrustful of you?”

Tore their heart apart with my bare hands. The answer comes to their mind unbidden, bringing a sharp twist of pain along with it. They can still see Whumpee’s shocked face, tears streaming down their cheeks, eyes desperately searching theirs for an excuse that wasn’t there for a treason they had no way to deny, no matter how much they wished to. I’m sorry I hurt you, but I did it for the greater good, and I’d do it again, Caretaker had said with all the pride and coldness a soldier could master.

They had kept their own tears for later, when no one could see them shatter.

“Is your life so miserable you have to feed off of someone else’s or are you just a nosy bastard?”

Whumper laughs, and they wish they could punch that laugh out of that smug face. “I’ll give you the details now and you’ll leave tomorrow. And just because of the insult you won’t get to say goodbye to Whumpee.”

Caretaker glares in response but doesn’t argue. They don’t deserve to be near Whumpee, not after everything, and are pretty sure Whumpee wouldn’t want it either. Besides, the simple thought of seeing the face they love so fiercely fill with suspicion each time Caretaker opens their mouth makes them want to weep.

Still, as long as they are alive to do so, Caretaker will gladly take the suspicion and anything else Whumpee throws at them. They deserve far worse anyway.

Each breath Whumpee takes hurts, and they are about to start crying out of frustration when the door opens. They don’t dare recognize the sharp tug of disappointment in their heart when the face that appears isn’t Caretaker’s.

“Good morning, love, how’s that wound?”, Whumper asks.

“Fine.” There’s an air of amusement around them that makes Whumpee shiver, even if they don’t know exactly why. “Where’s Caretaker?”

It leaves their lips before it hits their brain, and Whumpee has to bite their tongue to avoid slapping their forehead for it. Stupid. Caretaker shouldn’t mean anything to them anymore.

“Oh, dear. You still care about them, don’t you?”

Whumpee doesn’t even open their mouth, not when the answer they can voice would be a blatant lie and they’d both know it.

“It’s really unfortunate to have feelings for someone who doesn’t reciprocate them, isn’t it?” Whumper says, drinking in the slight frown between Whumpee’s brows, the way they look away to hide how much the words hurt them.

Before the wave of bitterness can crash over Whumpee, Whumper nods to someone outside the room and two guards step inside.

Their heart starts to pound, thrumming louder at each step the men take toward them.

“What, what’s going on?”

“We’re going somewhere else today, love. I assumed you needed the help to walk.”

They are shaking their head before Whumper even finishes the sentence. With a smile stretching across their face, they raise their brows, as if inviting Whumpee to do it themself.

They know what’s going to happen even before it does, and by the glee on Whumper’s face they do too, but Whumpee still kicks the thin blanket away and gets up on wobbly legs before taking two steps forward. On the third, the pain becomes unbearable. On the fourth, they can’t help but hold their injury and hunch their shoulders. Whumper watches them with mock concern as Whumpee stumbles out of the room. When they finally fall to their knees two steps later, Whumper simply tuts from their spot against the door.

“I guess you did need the help, huh?” they say, and Whumpee catches only a glance of their smile as they wave for the guards.

Two pairs of hands grab Whumpee’s arms and pull them up, and they can’t hold back a scream when it makes their entire abdomen explode in pain.

They are hauled over countless hallways, into a room made of concrete walls and nothing more, barely big enough for all of them.

“Please,” they breathe. “What are you doing? What about your deal with Caretaker?”

“Caretaker left, Whumpee.”

It’s the softness in their voice that makes Whumpee’s head turn to them, all wide eyes and parted lips.

“The bargain we told you about was for them to either betray their team and keep you safe or go away and leave you behind. They made their choice.”

Whumpee can only stare at Whumper’s sympathetic smile. The words take a while to truly sink in, and when they do, all Whumpee does is take a deep breath.

They’d been expecting this all along, they tell themself. They knew they couldn’t trust Caretaker, knew they’d never come first. They know it, they do. But then why does it hurt so much?

“And you see, Caretaker’s leaving made me kind of mad,” Whumper says as Whumpee is dumped on the cell’s cold floor, falling on all fours. “Betrayals make me bloodthirsty, I’m sure you’ll understand. And since you’re mine now, how can I resist it?”

Whumpee’s mouth dries at that. Terror shoots through their veins at the same time sadness tightens their heart.

The two men who’d carried them there take a step forward at the words and grab chains from a hook behind the door they hadn’t noticed before. As the chains are hung on metal loops attached to the wall, Whumpee realizes how wrong they’d been. The cell walls aren’t completely barren after all.

And when the guards crouch down in front of them, Whumpee can barely find strength through the panic and the pain radiating from their stomach to fight.

They do, though. Even when it burns and sends waves of dizziness down their body, Whumpee thrashes in hands that don’t budge, jerks against grips that only tighten.

But none of it matters when metal cuffs lock around both their wrists, nor when the chain is shortened until their arms are pulled straight above their head, back touching the wall. At least they are still sitting. Not that they could get up if they wanted to.

“Whumper, pl–“

But it isn’t over yet, they realize when another shiny gray circle approaches. Whumpee lets out a choked whine, but it’s all they can do before the collar closes around their throat and locks their neck to the wall as well. An uninvited sob escapes their lips, and there’s nothing they can do to stop it either.

“You look beautiful in chains, love,” Whumper says from the door, grinning with sadistic satisfaction at Whumpee’s weakness.

Humiliation tinges their cheeks red when Whumper’s gaze travels up and down their body. Chained, collared, like a dog, unable to do more than wiggle their arms and weakly kick their legs.

“Why are you doing this?” Whumpee asks, voice airy and desperate, searching for an explanation they know isn’t there.

“Because I wanted to. Because it brings me joy to see you struggle. I wouldn’t keep thrashing like that, though, you’ll wear yourself out very quickly with that unfortunate wound of yours, and we don’t want this to end too soon, do we?”

They leave the cell with a giggle and a wave of goodbye, and when the door doesn’t lock behind them, Whumpee almost chokes on a bitter laugh.

The cell is big enough for them to lie down straight if the chains weren’t keeping them tightly tied to the wall. But as time goes by, it seems to get smaller and smaller, closing in on them with each ragged breath Whumpee takes. The chains clink together as they squirm, but there’s no give. Their wound hurts through it all, burning with each movement, but stopping feels like giving up and if they do, then what?

No one knows where they are but Caretaker and they’ve already made it clear they won’t help. They’ve already given up on Whumpee, left them once again.

No one cares. There is no saving this time.

Whumpee chokes on rage and grief as tears stream down their cheeks, for a love that should never have been born, for the heart that has been broken in so many pieces they don’t know how it can still find strength enough to keep beating in their chest.

Whumpee stares at the gray walls and feels a scream building, and there’s no one there to stop it from bursting out, containing all of their anger and sadness and betrayal and spilling it over to the world. But even though it’s left their chest, the cry keeps echoing, bouncing around the walls, and none of the feelings are gone. They are all still there, still boiling inside of Whumpee.

So Whumpee sobs and pulls at the chains until their wrists are raw and bleeding, and don’t stop until both their strength and their voice are gone and there’s nothing else to do but sag on the chains.

Caretaker is in the elevator when the phone Whumper’s given them buzzes. Seven floors to go before they have to face their team. A few seconds before they have to betray the people who are nothing less than their family.

Even so, it’s not that thought that sends a shiver down their spine.

No one but Whumper has that number. The phone was given to them with specific instructions to be used solely to communicate with them. It’s Whumpee’s wide eyes that shine in their mind when Caretaker unlocks the phone, and it’s the memory of their smile that makes Caretaker’s heart race as they stare at the text and the video attached to it.

Got bored. You better hurry up.

Their hand trembles as they click on the video and Whumpee’s thin figure fills the screen, arms chained above their head, legs loose on the ground in front of them. Their eyes are closed, and for an instant, Caretaker’s heart stops in fear. But then Whumpee’s head starts to loll forward before being violently pulled back, and at the same time relief makes Caretaker suck in a sharp breath, the thing shining around Whumpee’s neck makes their heart sink through the floor.

The collar surrounds the soft skin Caretaker’s tasted more than once, marring the perfect curve of their throat. When it yanks their head back, it hits the wall behind them and their eyes snap open. Whumpee stares at the ceiling for a moment before their mouth opens in a scream Caretaker feels in their soul, even if they can’t hear it. They feel it with their whole heart, and when Whumpee starts pulling against the chains, Caretaker thinks they’ll puke.

The video ends with them panting silently through the soundless video, the glint of tears wetting their cheeks.

And then the elevator stops, and Caretaker barely has two seconds to wipe away their own tears before the doors open.

When their teammates run toward them, none of them sees the way their eyes shine for the dread it is.

As they smile and let lie after lie slip through their teeth, the only thing resounding in their mind is Whumpee’s silent screams. And as they deceive and betray, no one seems to notice the way their hands tremble or how they can’t convince their lips to smile no matter how happy they should’ve been to be back with the team. Not when the ten seconds keep playing over and over again inside their mind.

(next)

#whump #whump writing #betrayal whump #injured whumpee #emotional whump #lovers to enemies #forced to watch #angst #betrayal story

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quillandink333 · 3 years

Text

Scarlet Carnations ~ Epilogue

BotW Link X Zelda ~ Detective AU

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.7k

WARNINGS: death, murder, loss, trauma, blood and gore, terrorism, organized crime, self-harm

Summary: Inspector Zelda Hyrule, assisted by the faithful Constable Link Fyori, is infamous for cracking the most confounding of cases in a town dominated by crime. Her latest assignment is to solve the murder of her own godmother, Impa Sheikah, the late CEO of Sheikah Tech. Incorporated, while staying under the radar of the dreaded Yiga organization.

Part I • Part II • Part III • Part IV • Part V • Part VI • Part VII • Epilogue • Masterlist

The first couple of weeks following the incident that had taken my long-lost mother from me was misery in its purest form. Link and I didn’t speak, not even by phone, during that whole stretch of time. In fact, I could rarely bring myself to answer the phone at all. The memory was still too vivid, the wounds still too fresh.

He’d gotten off scot-free in the end as he’d been deemed to have acted in the defence of others—namely, of me. It wasn’t long before I learned of his plea, that if I hadn’t come along quietly, I would have suffered the same fate that he’d brought upon her, and they had believed him. How I felt about this was still something I was struggling to wrap my endlessly pounding head around.

As dark and deep as this seemingly bottomless pit of despair that I’d found myself plummeting down was, however, someone did eventually toss a rope down for me. The time I spent apart from Link gave me the opportunity to properly reconcile with those whom I myself had wronged: Auntie Purah and Paya. The former and I found comfort in our mutual grieving, and even as Paya had never really known my mother well enough to mourn her loss (though, arguably, it seemed no one had ever truly known her), she was more gracious and understanding than I or anyone else would have been, which only made me regret even more deeply my past transgressions toward her.

One day, during one of our continual conversations, she shifted to the topic of the Yiga leader’s executioner. How she could even think of him at a time like this was beyond me, but I digressed. I told her everything from start to finish. It was the first time I’d allowed myself to talk to anyone about it at length. As I spoke, she listened calmly and carefully. Despite what I’d have liked to believe, she had always been the more levelheaded one out of the two of us, save for when it came to discussing things about herself.

By the time I finished, I’d begun bouncing my still healing ankle back and forth, which I’d crossed over my other leg to keep it from touching the ground. I didn’t stop even after I noticed what I was doing.

“It’s painfully clear to see how conflicted you are about all this.” Coming to sit beside me on the sofa in the Sheikahs’ sitting room, Paya placed an affectionate palm on my thigh, bringing its restless jittering to a halt. “I understand how hard this must be for you. But the way I see it, there’s only one question you need ask yourself at the end of the day.”

Whatever she was about to say, it wouldn’t be an easy pill to swallow, would it? I straightened my posture. “And what would that be?”

“Between the two of them, who do you think was the better person?”

She was looking me dead in the eyes, her hand still resting upon my leg. I uncrossed them.

I’d never thought to compare the two before. What reason would I have had to do so? But now that she’d mentioned it, I hadn’t realized how few memories I even had left of my mother, and the ones that remained were blurry and vague beyond any hope of being recovered. If only she hadn’t left me with the Sheikahs all those years ago, maybe I could have remembered more clearly what kind of person she had been.

On the other hand, Link had always been there for me. Even during the times when circumstances had driven us apart, the thought of him was what had kept my flame burning strong and hot throughout each arctic day, and what had protected me from myself, keeping me from doing the irreparable. He had stayed by my side to the bitter end.

No matter how I’d reflected back on that day previously, the sight of his steely, focused stare and the sound of his crazed breaths, short and sharp, had been ever dominant. But now, I recalled the way those eyes had then glazed over with unadulterated horror. How his arms had shivered as they’d clung to my broken form and how they’d continue to cling for what would feel like millennia until the rest of his unit would finally stumble upon the scene.

My stepsister-of-sorts gave my leg a soft squeeze as I looked back at her with a tremor in my lip. “He s...saved me,” I whimpered. “Didn’t he?”

After a month apart, I made plans with Link for a night out on the pier, where we would celebrate the end of the Organization. The ice cream I’d promised him was at the top of my list of priorities for the evening. Tonight was a dessert-first night anyway, I’d decided. From there, we went and found ourselves a bite to eat at a seafood restaurant within walking distance. I’d hoped eating with him would feel like old times, but he hardly spoke a word throughout the whole meal. I tried lightening the mood with some banter, but this proved ineffective when he brushed off everything I said with mere one or two-word replies.

It wasn’t until I’d gotten us both a bit of something to drink that he finally broke the silence. “Have you...” he started, but lost the confidence to continue.

I perked up at the sound of his voice, wanting to hear more of it. “Have I...?”

“A-Ah...” His fingers poked at the copious amount of chips piled onto his plate next to the practically untouched fillet of fried fish. “I was just wondering if you’ve thought about what you’re going to do now, since...you know...you’re not a detective anymore.”

“Ah, right. That.” I took another sip of my drink, its contents long having fled my memory. “Actually, my auntie talked about it with me and she said she’d consider letting me inherit the company once I’ve acquired the proper education. So to answer your question, I’m thinking about going to school for engineering.”

His brows rose. “Oh! My, that’s—” He cleared his throat. “That’s brilliant. I’m happy for you.”

I thanked him with a hesitant grin, then asked, “How about you? Do you plan to stay on with the force, or...?”

“Ahh, well...” What little there’d been of an upward turn in his lips vanished. “I’m not sure, to tell you the truth. It’s something I’ve been mulling over for a while now. Whether to stay on and honour my father’s work, or...whatever other options are available, I suppose.”

“Do you want to hear what I think?” He raised his head. “I think you should do whatever you think would make you happiest. That’s what you’re father would have wanted, I’m sure.”

This finally, finally, got a real, unsubdued smile out of him. And I intended to milk that smile for all it was worth.

After dinner, I dragged him back down to the arcade on the pier, where I managed to ring a few laughs out of him while we were still a bit tipsy. We steered clear of the toy gun target-type games, favouring other stands like the ring toss where he won me a plush frog that I could only just get my arms all the way around. His aim was spectacular, especially for someone who wasn’t entirely sober. Not only that, but I could never have imagined how sweet and charming he would be like this. For a fleeting moment, it felt as though we’d gone back in time again. That, or the light from the setting sun was playing tricks on me.

But by the end of the evening, he’d reverted back to that quiet, reclusive version of himself that I’d quickly grown to detest. We were out on the docks now, facing the sea. The breeze carried a mist of saltwater within its bows. I breathed it in, soaking up the feeling of it hitting me softly and coolly in the face. A hint of pink in my partner’s cheeks caught my eye, and I wondered whether it was the cocktails or my arms, which were currently wound about his waist from behind.

“Beautiful sunset,” I tried, hoping I could get him to spare me a glance at least. “Isn’t it?” But to no avail. He only continued to gaze westward at the rippling flames reflected in the water. “Hey...” Before I knew what I was doing, my palm had found the warmth of his cheek, and there was hardly an inch or two of distance between the tips of our noses. Without giving myself time to think, I tilted my head, leaned in, and started to close my eyes.

But when I realized he wasn’t doing the same, I halted. On the contrary, he’d been leaning back and away from my advances, his back so rigid and shoulders so stiff it were as though he would sprout wings and bolt were I to make any sudden moves.

“What’s wrong?”

A harsh, jagged exhale. “Zelda, I just can’t—” He grabbed both my wrists and wrenched my arms off of him. “I’m sorry. We can’t do this.” He was bent over the railing, arms folded in on each other. “Not now,” he said, dwindling, “after I’ve gone and...murdered your only family.” A weary chuckle shook him by the shoulders before he raked his hands through his wind-tousled hair.

I fell into quiet thought for a moment. Then, taking a long, thorough breath, I placed a feather-light set of fingertips atop his own. “That woman was never my family.” I’d made up my mind. Figuratively or otherwise, my real mother had moved on a long time ago. And it was time I did the same.

Link must have seen the resolve in my eyes or heard it in my voice, because now he was looking back at me openly, his body turned to face me. Though there was still an air of uncertainty lingering about him as he ran the crease of his cuff between his fingers again and again. But when I brought my arms around him and held him close, he sank into my lips, returning my embrace at long last. A lone pair of tears fell from my eyes the moment they fluttered closed—a culmination of all past ordeals—and as they fell, I couldn’t help but smile.

#my writing #fanfic #botw #zelink #botw zelink #zelink botw #link x zelda #zelda x link #botw link x zelda #botw zelda x link #zelda pov #detective au

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suna-is-the-loml · 4 years

Text

two days

pairing: tsukkishima x reader

genre: slight fluff then slight angsty???

word count: 1.3k LOL

a/n: i am in love with salty frenchfry and this is cringe station so enjoy this really badly written fluff +angst or something bye <3

yes i love the number 3

3 years, 3 whole years kei spent loving you, yet his dumbass still hadnt confessed till today, today of all days,that is 3 days before you were leaving.

he was hurt, he wanted to tell you he loves you, he couldnt muster the courage to do so. quite ironic for someone who is salty asf LMAO, he always had a soft spot for you, he knew you were someone important to him, he just couldnt figure out how.

he thought he knew you so well, or so he thought.

he didnt know you were in too deep for him too, he didnt know youd take a bullet for him, he didnt know you got jealous everytime some other girl flirts with him, he didnt know how much you defended him, he didnt know you rejected the confessions for kei. (kei being the dumbass thought you rejected the confessions because you wanted to concentrate on your sport).

he wonders how many minutes he spent adoring you, how many seconds he spent loving you because how much ever that was, he knew it wasnt enough. he loves you. a lot. and you deserve all the love

he wanted to tell you.

you are vvsmart but dumb enough to not realise your best friend was in love with you big time. you knew your goodbye party will involve alcohol sO you had it 3 days before you left because you hated hangovers.

you wanted to confess to kei. whats the probability that he would like you back?, the worse thing he could say was “i never want to see you again’’ which works because you were leaving japan anyway.

the day after the party- today seems good, its perfect actually, you message him

“hey, wanna come over? :D”

kei looks at his phone, as your name popped up in his notifications he felt himself smile.

sure :)

kei knew he had to say it today, its either today or never

you took a deep breath. ‘tell him today’ you told yourself.

it was around 7pm when he finNALLY came over. kei had your favourite chips packet with him. smiling at him fondly you invited him to your room. it was natural. everything felt home with kei.

you wanted to confess but you wanted to see how he feels about you first- atleast maybe an idea.

“hey kei, guess what?”

he looked at you with a twinkle, he smirked as he looked into your eyes.

“i am in love with someone”

‘huh? what? love? does she like no ‘love’ someone ? oh, not me thats for sure’ kei’s mind ran spewing thoughts. he was not able to say anything. he was surprised. no surprised was an understatemeant. he was seething with jealousy, pity, sadness, betrayal, he could feel his heart break into two. he kept a stoic face and whispered ‘‘oh?’’ with his eyes no longer being in contact with yours.

you smiled, you knew, you knew what he was feeling, afterall you have felt the same so many times whenever someone flirts with him. you knew he liked you but you wanted him to confirm it. you whispered “kei? is everything okay?”

kei finally looked at you again, “y/n”

“i love you” kei finally said. he closed his eyes and turned away from you, he was scared to see our expression.

“aww kei, i love you too” you said as you reached out to hold his hand. he immediately took it and squeezed it.

he looked at you again with the same fond expression “ no dummy i love you in a romantic way, i am in love with you”

you looked at him with a dumbfounded expression “ kei i am in love with you too, in a romantic way”

he felt his adrenaline pushing himself towards you, as if on instinct he cupped your cheeks and kissed you. he kissed you softly hoping the kiss would convey how much he loves you.

he whispers against your lips “you have no idea how much ive wanted to do this dummy”

“kei, i’m gonna leave in 2 days” you remind him after a steamy makeout session

his face immediately falls

“what are we kei”

“i dont know best friends to lovers trope?” he said hoping to avoid that topic. the fact that you, his love is finally with him and that you will be leaving you in two days.

you laughed and then pulled a serious expression “ kei tsukishima, what are we” you asked squeezing his hand.

“hmm, lemme think about it” kei taunts you, you pulled out your best puppy dog eyes and pouted at him and he had the audacity to smirk at you. you turned away from him and stared at the corner because suddenly?? it?? seemed?? interesting??

you felt yourself pulled to his lap. he looked at you, his eyes filled with love he whispered “ y/n i love you a lot but i-” you interrupted him with a kiss, “i know kei, its gonna be hard but can we fall in love for the night atleast?’’

“yes y/n we can” he said lovingly.

its been exactly 16 months since you’ve left. 16 months since the magical day- the day he kissed you for the first time,the day he confessed to you, he remembers every minute of those two days.

he sighed and plopped on his headphones.

now playing- lets fall in love for the night by finneas

Let's fall in love for the night And forget in the morning Play me a song that you like You can bet I'll know every line

he remembers how you both fell more in love the last two days. he remembers the day you shared the playlist you made, mainly consisting of finneas’s songs. he saw how happy you were when you listened to your playlist commenting on how its a masterpiece. he remembers the day he realised he was in love with you. he remembers your ‘jamming’ sessions as you both sang your hearts out.

he closed his eyes as he remembered the day your first boyfriend kissed you, how he was seeping with jealousy, how he badly wanted to be your first kiss. it was then he realised he loved you. revisiting his memories with you always calmed him down, you stole his heart afterall.

keeping in touch with you has been a little difficult considering college and the different time zones, yet you both tried to keep in contact with each other

I'm the boy that your boy hoped that you would avoid Don't waste your eyes on jealous guys, fuck that noise I know better than to call you mine

he remembered how your first boyfriend tried to stop meeting him and how your ex sometimes crashed you both hanging out together at your place. kei knew that your ex was jealous, yet you stuck by him considering that was your first relationship. after you broke up, you were sad and he was there to comfort you. he was always there for you.

he knew what was the best for you, but he also knew that you werent his. he couldnt stop you from dating who you want.

You need a pick me up I'll be there in twenty five I like to push my luck So take my hand, let's take a drive

he remembers the late night calls and how he would show up at your door exactly in 27 minutes when you call him over. he remembers how you used to persuade your parents so he can stay over for the night, he remembers how you used to cringe at the cheesy romcom scenes, he remembers how you fell asleep on him,he remembers how happy you were when you finally got your favourite college acception letter. he remembers how happy you were when karasuno reached nationals. he misses you a lot.

I've been living in the future Hoping I might see you sooner I want you riding shotgun I knew When I got one right

he was so happy found out he was significant in your life. he imagines a life with you by his side, he imagines smaller versions of you both running in the house. he knew it was going to be tough, so after around 7 months, he ghosted you for a whole month. you were hEARTBROKEN. did you go wrong somewhere? does he not love you anymore? overwhelmed with anger and heartbreak you ghosted him back. but he didnt even try to hold a conversation with you, he didnt ask any questions, he didnt call you too. was he done with you? was this it? you were done, done being heartbroken and done waiting.

but ghosting you just made him miss you more. was it a bad idea? he wanted to hear your voice so bad but he knew it will just make him miss you more, instead he started to concentrate completely on college and tried to remove you from his mind, he tried removing you from his life, but he couldnt, not a single minute goes by without him remembering the little things about you. he knew he was gone from your life when you ghosted him back.

he wants you, he wonders if you feel the same way he does. have you moved on?have you found someone else? did you fall out of love with him?

he wanted to move on but he was hopeless, hopelessly in love with you,

how he wished he could relive those two days forever

a/n again?: JSJSJSJSJS THIS became longer than i expected?? the second slight angsty part was heavily inspired by let's fall in love for the night by FINNEAS ahh i love his songs sm

#tsukki x reader #kei tsukishima #tsukki angst #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #kei tsukishima x reader #kei tsukishima fluff #kei tsukkishima angst #hq angst #hq fluff #kei tsukishima angst

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hectabdr · 4 years

Text

Dragon Raja IV - Chapters 3 & 4 (Abridged)

Hi everyone, continuing with today's chapters, these are centered around Nono and Caesar and their lives after he returned from Japan.

Previous chapters

Chapter 3

Mediterranean Sea, Republic of Malta.

The Island of Frefra is mostly an ecological reserve, there is a white building on top of a natural harbor with luxury yachts and sailing boats. Tourists and locals have always been interested in knowing more about its residents, but the government is very secretive about it. It is well protected against binoculars and often, music can be heard coming from the inside. Girls in white dresses walk around it and they're known as the "Iris girls".

At 5:45 am, a rotating alarm clock started playing a terrible heavy metal song, making its way through fashion magazines and snacks, it ran around the bedroom of Chen Motong, who finally trapped it and took its batteries out.

She slept for another 20 minutes and woke up in a hurry. She had classes to attend. Cooking lessons, Japanese tea ceremonies, British literature and music appreciation, amongst other things. This was the Golden Iris Shuyuan Academy. It was meant to educate Nono on how to live among nobility.

She arrived late at the breakfast table only to realize the other girls were betting on her punctuality. After she accepted Caesar's proposal, he took her to Rome to meet his relatives, some of which were more than 300 years old, they left their cryogenic beds and unexpectedly blessed their marriage (after evaluating her from head to toes). Nono's own family was rich and powerful, known as the Black Prince Group. After both families signed the marriage contract, they agreed to make Nono drop out of Cassell to take a years-long bridal training in the Shuyuan Academy.

During her dancing lessons, a yawning Nono was the only one who couldn't keep up with the rhythm, prompting her teacher to whip her foot.

At her cooking class, she kept eating bits off her dish, leaving almost nothing for the teacher to evaluate.

She managed to succeed on her tea ceremony while her boredom made her toes fight each other behind her back. She was distracted during literature and used her profiling skill to cheat on her analysis of classical music.

She unwillingly started regretting the moment she accepted the marriage proposal, but not because of Caesar, it was all about the life that awaited her. The lessons were relentless and the academy was isolated from the outside world. She didn't sleep enough because she used her Cassell training to sneak out at 10:00 pm to swim by the beach, that was the only time in her day when she felt truly free.

She toyed frequently with her obnoxious alarm clock, it was a gift from her old classmate, Luminous. On her last birthday, he casually carried a backpack with him all day, it was pretty obvious that he was preparing to give her a gift, which he nervously did, and he was the only person who dared to do so, as everyone else felt intimidated by Caesar.

She knew about Luminous's feelings for her. All of the male classmates who liked her could easily fill the whole cafeteria. Luminous was just one of them. She considered herself a passer-by in his life, thinking some girls of his age (like Zero) would be a better match for him. One day he'd mention it as a thing of the past and they would both laugh about it.

She hoped to finish the bridal course in months, but it had already been a year. She brought mostly books but she quickly ran out of things to read.

Suddenly, she realized someone was hiding in her bedroom, right after the cleaning lady left. The intruder took one of her books and a bag from her secret stash of potato chips. She turned off the lights and grabbed a knife, more excited than scared, she searched for the thief.

After finding nothing, she remembered her bathtub, and there he was, asleep with the missing book on his face and a bag of chips in his belly. She punched him in the stomach. A patrolling Nun showed up, concerned, Nono hid the intruder in the tub and pretended to take a bath. If someone found Luminous in her room, they would accuse Nono of having an affair.

The nun searched the whole place with a revolver but couldn't find anyone, before leaving, she had a conversation with Nono about her situation in the academy, specifically her wish to leave. In the lady's words, "Her soul seemed to lag behind her body". Luminous finally understood that she was there to become the perfect bride. When the nun left, Nono scolded him for his presence, she realized he looked different, he was clearly taking care of himself, better dressed, he definitely had a better haircut. He also thought she looked somehow different, more elegant, but exhausted.

His stomach roared, breaking a long awkward silence and she took him out to steal some food for him. They took wine from the cellar, along with some ham and cheese.

-Sister, do you know Johann Chu? -Maybe, was he your boyfriend or did he just owe you money?

Luminous explained his situation to her: he decided to go with the school's psychologist, professor Toyama, who diagnosed him as schizophrenic. Toyama attempted to erase Johann off his memory, but Luminous responded by making a scene and drawing out his desert eagles. He tried to track Johann in everyone else's memories but his missing classmate didn't have many friends.

Anjou couldn't remember him either. Back during Luminous's second year, there was no trial against a Blood Rage user, Frost Gattuso only accused the principal for his terrible administration. The rollercoaster incident happened way after they finished their ride with Shavee. Anjou gave Luminous the location of Chen Motong, telling him to use her profiling ability to find some clues.

However, Nono also believed Luminous had schizophrenia and convinced him to stop his search and look for treatment instead. Luminous lamented his condition and how he couldn't trust the world he lived in anymore, however, despite how enticing it was to forget Johann and go back to the real world, he felt his brother was still out there, waiting to be saved, but everyone forgot about him. Nono couldn't do much for him in his situation.

-Years ago, you were not the president of the Student Union, but a scared boy that I rescued from a theater. Now that you don't trust the world anymore, you came back to me. How many more times do you think I'll be here to save you?

Suddenly, a security guard noticed the candle they lit in the cellar. Nono didn't know how to react, but someone broke a bottle of wine on the guard's head and knocked him down. It was Finger, who informed Luminous that now he was wanted by Cassell, as they thought he was an undercover agent sent by the Dragon Raja.

Apparently, on the same night that Luminous left the college, someone entered the Ice cellar and stole Constantine's skeleton, severely injuring principal Anjou in the process. The only student with such clearance and power was the S-Rank himself.

Agents of the Execution Bureau went looking for Finger in Cuba, so he buried them in a tobacco field, with their heads out, of course.

Nono urged them to understand the seriousness of what it meant to be hunted by the secret party, which essentially made them targets of the whole world. They could leave no traces for Norma to track down. She considered there were three possibilities:

1- Luminous was insane.

2- He was an undercover agent sent by the dragon raja all along.

3- He was the only person in the world who was't hypnotized.

The only being who could be responsible for the third option is the white dragon king. Its skeleton was never recovered. Their only option was to travel with Luminous in secret to track down any trace that Johann might have left in the world before he disappeared.

-I really hope my brother is alive... -True Love! Said Finger and Nono in unison.

Finger then urged them both to leave and "go save the world" but Nono refused to leave. She had a responsibility with her family and with Caesar. As Luminous turned around and started walking, Finger stunned her, urging Luminous to help him carry her outside.

Chapter 4

Caesar Gattuso was sitting down in a church. This was the anniversary of his mother's death, so he wore a suit, drove a Harley Davidson motorcycle on his way there and brought her a bouquet of white flowers.

When he was younger, she bought him a miniature bike, she also loved to see him wearing little suits. Most of Caesar's style was based on her taste, he thought that would please her while she watched him from heaven.

The first time he had been on the Milan cathedral, he was attending her funeral. The ceremony was presided by the pope himself. Knowing of his family's involvement in her death, he poured kerosene on the coffin and lit a fire on the church. The authorities managed to save the historical building and despite of it all, Caesar was still allowed inside every year to mourn Gulweig, (as long as he wasn't carrying any dangerous chemicals).

Parsi Gattuso arrived in a car to give him some urgent news, his wife Chen Motong had gone missing. He brought with himself a letter that she wrote for her fiancé, it expressed Chen's dissatisfaction with her new life, asking him to give her some time.

Caesar immediately realized the poetic letter was fake, since Nono wouldn't bother to express herself in such a way. According to him, Nono would just write "Caesar, I'm leaving" In a napkin and leave it on top of her bed. The letter was probably written by a narcissistic person like Finger.

However, this left him reflecting on Nono's true feelings towards her future, wondering if all he did was capturing a bird (that he initially admired for its freedom) just to lock it in a cage.

Far away in Cassell College, the elders of the Secret Party reunited for an emergency meeting, the first one since 1961. Many famous individuals that once shaped the course of history were in it, still alive after faking their deaths to cover up their slow aging. In the principal's chair, Leonardo Flammel, the vice-principal and a direct descendant of Nicholas Flammel sat down and started the meeting.

He welcomed EVA, Norma's war personality with 140,000 times her processing power, and asked her to project a life-like hologram of Anjou's assassination attempt.

According to the recording, the previous night, the principal intended to access the ice cellar, but he stopped meters before reaching the entrance. He looked behind and said:

-Is that you?

In a fraction of a second, his access card had left his pocket after something cut through it. His entire body started bleeding from multiple cuts to his skin. He had no time to react and tried to use the card as his weapon, since the attacker didn't give him enough time (even using Time Zero) to draw his dragon slaying knife. It was guessed that his opponent could use Time Zero as well, but was more skilled in combat than the principal himself.

The security system identified the situation in time and called the police and medical assistance, otherwise, Anjou would have died. The conversation quickly turned to Luminous's possible involvement in the situation, Flammel had a conversation about it with "Mr. Beowulf", who was also present.

The legendary Beowulf was not an individual but a family of dragon slayers. They had a strong attraction to dragon blood, for them it was almost like drugs to an addict.

They were the most fierce dragon hunters in history, pouring the blood of their prey and drinking it after every successful kill. Their newborns were poisoned with dragon blood and only those who survived the process were considered worthy of living. Their latest descendants were almost dragon-like in appearance, but they were unlikely to turn into death servitors. Whenever that happened, the family killed them immediately.

Considering there's an imminent crisis ahead, the leader of the family showed himself in the table for the first time in a hundred years. That's because he strongly opposed the establishment of Cassell College, since "a true dragon slayer can only be born in the battlefield".

Back in the day, he led the "Action team" of the secret party, which eventually became the Execution Bureau. Initially he was expected to lead it, before he expressed his dissatisfaction with the college. Compared to the Action Team of the old days, the cruel Bureau is almost a charity.

Beowulf immediately started discussing Luminous's background. His parents were apparently in the records of the Execution Bureau, but their achievements are not registered. They never reported themselves and their location is currently unknown.

Caesar Gattuso was responsible for the defeat of Norton, Abdullah for Fenrir and the Gattuso's orbital weapon for the White King. Luminous was present during all of these events, but his actions are not registered either. He theorizes that Luminous is in fact a dragon, taking advantage of the war to slay his fellow kings. Since his use of Yanling was unknown and Time Zero belonged to the King of Sky and wind, the most mysterious of the dragon kings, the elders came to the conclusion that this dragon was none other than Luminous himself.

As soon as Beowulf questioned the absence of Frost Gattuso, Pompeii himself made an entrance by making EVA project his hologram on an empty chair. The man was semi-naked as multiple women applied sunscreen on him, annoying everyone on the room, specially Beowulf. Pompeii focused on the importance of Constantine's skeleton, since everyone else seemed more focused on Anjou's assassination attempt. Those bones contained the power of the king of bronze and fire, who was conformed by twins, so the college kept Constantine's skeleton, while the Gattuso family kept Norton's. In that very moment, Frost was transporting their half of the dragon king to an underground vault in the bank of Rome.

Pompeii linked Frost to the call, who was now 120 meters underground and descending. The vault was heavily protected against Time Zero users.

Just as they were discussing the security measures, the loud sound of an alarm silenced everyone in the room, when the members of the meeting asked about its purpose, they quickly realized that it wasn't coming from Cassell, it came from the elevator in Rome. The intruder was in the vault.

Frost was instructed to forget the original plan and leave with the bones of Norton. His bodyguards quickly mutated into dragon-like creatures to protect him. Corrosive acid and bombs were released as the elevator rose back to the surface, but there was something heating up the place and it was greater than any bomb they detonated.

Every guard stayed behind to guard the doors, hoping to witness the intruder. Finally, one of the doors was blown away. In the fire, there seemed to be dragons and snakes dancing. The mummy-like figure in white robes slowly walked towards Frost, as he exclaimed:

-It that... you? Is it really you? It is you!

EVA instructed him to step back, as he had no chance of winning against this "reaper", Frost took out his phone and transferred control of the vault to EVA before the strange creature reached him. Suddenly, the camera was broken and the visuals lost. The sound of the doors being blown up one by one was heard. Beowulf commanded EVA to close the sole entrance of the vault, which could easily resist ten-million-ton nuclear weapons, (Not enough to contain certain dragons).

Believing this to somehow signal the end of the world, the council awaited quietly. Investors in Rome were ecstatic when the value of gold suddenly increased (Since one third of the monetary gold in the world was just destroyed). EVA used the surrounding cameras to confirm the worst, Frost Gattuso was dead, crystallized by the extreme heat. Their diamond-like statues were left behind and soon collapsed, turning to dust.

The possibility of the resurrection of the black King soon reached their heads, its return would signal the end of humanity.

Caesar soon appeared in the room. He was named the new representative of the Gattuso family, so he ordered EVA to kick his father Pompeii out of the meeting. He defended his education in Cassell in front of Beowulf, saying it made him prouder than his last name ever would. He explained that this dragon was more dangerous than the others due to its ability to understand humans, their organizations and its capability to hide among them. It was more similar to humans than it was to dragons, which was its more terrifying feature.

He impressed Beowulf, specially when he ordered to investigate anyone who had come into contact with his uncle, since he recognized his killer. He then brought up Luminous. EVA explained that his unprecedented progress in combat skills was due to his participation in the Nibelungen project. It allows Luminous to surpass the dragon blood limit without turning into a death servitor. He was an artificial emperor, like Chisei Gen from Japan. Beowulf was enraged, since he considered it was a waste of resources to use Nibelungen on such a weak student instead of picking one of their A-Rank fighters and ordered EVA to put all of her computing power in finding Luminous and Finger. However, EVA found no records of Finger in her database. Everyone concluded that he deleted himself.

Since Luminous already worked for the Executive Department and therefore knew how to hide from them, Caesar proposed to employ a different type of hunter, specifically the ancient creatures that the college kept under the ice cellar, originally intended to be used against the black king. The elders voted in favor, but even Beowulf was frightened by the idea of employing them. Flammel suddenly stood up and contacted Finger, warning him of the impeding threat. Moments later, a veteran knocked him down.

Parsi had noticed a change in Caesar. In years prior, he'd make childish requests, like asking him to empty a restaurant because he wanted to drink tea in peace. It looked like he was never going to grow up. Ever since he came back from Japan, he was far more mature, taking bigger responsibilities and doing most of the work by himself. He asked Caesar about his friendship with Luminous, specifically if he wasn't worried about the beasts hurting him.

-I don't want to harm Luminous, but he made a mistake, he shouldn't have involved Nono.

He seemed extremely silent, stopping in his way out to stare at a decorative kimono, one that he brought from Japan as a souvenir, he was wearing it the day he arrived. He wondered about the weaknesses of the dragons, if Constantine was Norton's, who was Shavee's?

He felt like he was forgetting something.

#dragon raja #dragonraja #luminous #johann chu #caesar gattuso #nono #novel #dragon raja 4

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oimoi-op · 4 years

Note

when were you diagnosed with t1d?

Ok, so storytime! Short answer is, as of today, barely over two months ago.

(Very long post warning y’all, contains hospital mention and extensive, possibly upsetting descriptions of health conditions, specifically DKA)

My family doesn’t really have a history of T1D or even T2D, though my second-cousin-once-removed has had T1D for over a decade now. So, there was never any reason for me to try and get tests done for it. The only sign I really had up until last semester was two copies of a variant of an HLA gene that I knew about from a 23andMe report (which, according to the report, put me at a higher risk for celiac’s and nothing else), but of course at that time I had no idea that that could mean anything serious; after all, that sort of thing only happens to other people, right?

My college started in-person classes in the latter half of August. By October, I started feeling tired, having a lack of appetite, and needing water very, very badly. I actually went to my school’s clinic, and my erratic heartbeat prompted the doctor to recommend me for a Covid-19 test. My school’s protocols meant that I had to quarantine at my home (since I live within two hours of campus) until I got a negative test result. At home, I was drinking water all the time and sleeping constantly, and my parents had commented on how I’d been losing weight. I thought these were all good things. I had been slightly overweight at my high school graduation, and I’d always heard that drinking a lot of water is good for you, so I thought I was actually in excellent health even if I kind of felt like shit most of the time.

Well. Uh. I was wrong.

When finals came around in mid-November, I was just fucking tired. I’d get a decent eight hours of sleep and still have to take naps during the day. Hell, I was even late for work because I slept through one of my nap alarms. Studying was a pain in the ass. Attending classes was a pain in the ass. Staying awake for Zoom classes was a pain in the ass. I was waking up at 5 am to go to the bathroom, and then I would drink the rest of my water, refill it, drink half of it again, and then go back to sleep. Finally, November 20th rolled around, and I got to leave campus. It was my birthday (yeah I am a Scorpio and that weirds all of my friends out lol), and my parents took me to Fusion. And I just...couldn’t eat at all? I love hibachi, but I couldn’t even eat half of my food. The chef even got me a delicious banana split that I had to basically bully my younger sister into eating with me.

For the next week, I was sleeping about 18 hours a day. I didn’t think this was weird because I’d just had finals so yeah, it makes sense that I would be tired after exams and whatnot. I went shopping with my mom, sister, and sister’s bff. We were only out for a few hours, but I was fucking wiped out y’all, like in pain. Thanksgiving arrived, and again, I love food, I love eating, but I was not hungry in the slightest. I basically had to force myself to eat some of my favorite holiday foods just so I wouldn’t offend my mom, and then I didn’t eat for the day.

The very next morning, I was puking my guts out.

This started a pattern for the next few days: I would eat chicken noodle soup or some other food, sleep like the dead, and throw up every morning and every night. I started chugging large bottles of Gatorade constantly (which, if you know about diabetes and its health complications, did not help my situation in the slightest). I started breathing erratically after very little exertion. Like, I’m talking standing up and stretching brought about heavy, labored breathing. I weighed myself on my parents’ scale, and I was under 130 lbs. Now, for some people this might seem like a lot, but due to my height and build I could fucking see some of my ribs. That was when I started to realize that something was very, very wrong, but “losing weight is good” and I didn’t want my parents to laugh at me for voicing concerns (though, for all their faults, in hindsight, I doubt they would’ve). Yeah. Don’t do that, folks, that’s not a good mindset to have.

On Sunday, my mom took me to town to get tested for Covid. This was despite me saying that I didn’t have symptoms (which I knew very well due to some of my friends catching it at school). Rapid test came back negative, so I did a culture test. Hell, while I was sitting in the damn chair, I was about to pass out. I asked for a nausea pill but my mouth was too dry for it to dissolve. I got a cup of water, downed it all, and felt like my throat was on fire. For the rest of the day I felt so, so awful. At some point I was walking toward my bed in my room and I fucking fell. I’m fucking lucky there was carpet.

Regarding the rest of that night, things start to get blurry, for the lack of a better term. I legitimately cannot recall everything that happened that night or the following two days, so I will just try to explain it in the way I remember it best.

Around...midnight or one??? I was on fucking fire, so I went to my bathroom and decided to lie on the floor. The floor was hardwood and not at all cold, and it wasn’t fucking comfortable even in that state, but I was just in so much pain I didn’t even care. My mom must’ve heard because she found me there and asked me what I was doing. I said something about the floor. She asked me to go back to bed, but I must’ve scared her because she asked me if I wanted her to lie in the bed with me. I don’t remember what I said to her, but we were in the bed and she was trying to hug me, but she was too warm and so I told her to stop. I kept feeling this burning just below my chest, like there was acid in me (which I guess wasn’t too far off), so I would randomly sit up to try and alleviate the pain and not cry. I remember asking my mom to take me to the hospital in the morning.

My mom put me in the truck (I think around 5 am is what she told me). I remembered hearing my dad. I was lying down. Then I was awake, but I was on the floor. I thought this was wrong so I tried to tell my mom that but I guess I couldn’t talk. Then I was in a hospital bed, the ER I assume. My mom gave me some water with a sponge, and I was just so fucking thirsty. Then I was in the ICU hooked up to a bunch of machines. I didn’t know what was going on, but my mom kept giving me water with that sponge. That is all I remember from Monday.

I remember a little bit more from Tuesday. My mom said something about diabetes, but that didn’t make any sense to me because I wasn’t “fat” and I’d been losing weight, even! What had I done to get diabetes? I was thirsty and tired, so I slept a lot. At some point I really needed to use the restroom so I unhooked my IV???? (I mean I must’ve disconnected myself somehow but I can’t remember the details) which set off a shit ton of alarms and people were Very Concerned and kept asking me Why Did You Do That? But I just needed to go to the restroom, and they told me to use the Red Button to Call the Nurse (it was already there, and I now realize that we’d probably had a similar conversation about the Red Button to Call the Nurse possibly multiple times before this) in the future. A Chopped Teen Tournament from 2017 was playing on the TV nonstop. There were commercials for CGMs. I thought that God wasn’t being very funny about the whole thing.

As of now I remember even less of Wednesday, but I know that felt better. There was this diabetes specialist who kept talking about insulin and life at college moving forward, but I wasn’t really there, either because of being so out of it for health reasons, disassociating, or a combination of the two. My mom told me she had emailed a professor so he would give me an extension on an assignment that was due by then, and I remember crying because I thought that was just so nice of him. That night, this guy got me in a wheelchair and put me in another room, which I would later learn was the ACU. My night nurse was this nice woman named Tanya, who had a very thick Eastern European accent. She got me orange juice to take some potassium pills, but it felt like swallowing rocks. I didn’t really get a lot of sleep, so I was awake when the nurses changed shifts. I remember one of them expressing surprise that I was out of the ICU so early.

My mom took longer to come that day because nobody had told her I’d been moved. I’d had plain Cheerios and orange juice for breakfast, but I couldn’t really eat because my throat hurt so badly. I talked to a lot of doctors. I guess at this point or somewhere near it I accepted that I had diabetes, but it wasn’t really real until the same diabetes specialist was going over carbs. I thought I was never going to eat shit I liked ever again. I really wanted a fucking McChicken sandwich. I signed some papers for Medicaid because I had aged out of the CHIP while in the hospital. I finally texted my friends and explained to them what had happened. I was so fucking tired.

I got out the next day, so that was Thursday. Normally, I would’ve been in the hospital much longer (especially because my Medicaid hadn’t been approved, meaning no insurance had approved of my insulin yet), but Covid cases were on the rise and the hospital wanted me out of there. The diabetes specialist and one of my nurses snuck me two fast-acting and two basal insulin pens, and I was out. I ate half a McChicken, a small fry, and drank my first Diet Coke. It tasted like diesel mixed with piss.

That’s the gist of it. The hospital staff was very nice and thoughtful the entire time, I think. I felt as though everyone involved cared about my health a lot.

For those of you who aren’t T1D or just don’t know, what I experienced is called DKA, short for diabetic ketoacidosis. To simplify, I was very close to entering a diabetic coma. My sister later told me that our dad had said (I assume a doctor had told my mother, who, in turn, had told him) that I was “approximately 45 minutes” away from death. DKA happens when a diabetic (usually a T1D like me) has too much blood sugar in their body due to them lacking the insulin necessary to break the sugar down, so their body breaks down their fat reserves and muscle to get the energy it needs. This is why I lost around 50 pounds over the course of a few months (I was 118 lbs. when I entered the hospital, the lowest I’ve been since grade school). I was officially diagnosed with T1D on November 30th, just ten days after my 19th birthday, which is a little older than normal I believe. It’s...well, it’s not fun, but I feel very grateful for my large support system, and tomorrow I’m trying out a CGM for the first time and applying for both it and a pump, so things are really looking up

#personal #iamapincushion #t1d #type one diabetes #type one diabetic #dka #diabetic ketoacidosis #tw hospital #tw dka #i don't think you meant me for to respond with such a long answer #but #well #it's something i've been wanting to post for a while now and this seemed like a good opportunity

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iron--spider · 4 years

Text

you save everybody, but who saves you?

It’s been.

It’s been—

It hasn’t been long enough, because Tony’s brain is still scrambled, and his body is still broken. The scarring still crawls across his right side in smoky tendrils, and he doesn’t like anyone touching it, not even Pepper when they’re alone, not even Helen when she’s checking him out, not even Peter when he’s holding his hand. They still don’t know if he’ll lose the arm, and they talk about that in hushed tones behind his back, like he can’t handle it, like they know he can’t handle it.

What can he fucking handle?

It’s been—two months. Two months, since Tony dropped to his knees and made a decision that he thought would result in his death. There were so many times in his life before that moment where he did the same—thought he was dying for something that was worth it, and he’d wanted it, he could deal with it, his own death. He’d been rolling towards death his whole life, with all his poor choices, and he was lucky to die for people he loved—

—but this time he didn’t want to go. He felt selfish. He was willing, he was...he was willing, because his love was bigger than it ever had been before, but that made it worse. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to leave them. He’d finally found what he wanted, what he needed. All the elements had finally come together like a completed puzzle.

He didn’t want to die, but he knew he was going to.

But he didn’t. And now he’s here and he’s someone else. He can barely fucking walk, he can barely fucking move, and Helen keeps using the word unprecedented. She’s got no idea how to track his progress. They don’t have any examples to follow. They don’t have shit. They’ve got his wasted, useless body, taking up space.

Tony doesn’t wanna be this guy. He doesn’t want to be this fucking guy.

“And this one is on a big billboard facing I4 in Orlando,” Pepper says, leaning her head on his good shoulder, laying on the bed beside him. She’s flipping through photos on her tablet, each one showing yet another Iron Man tribute. There are hundreds of them now, thousands in different places all over the world. He gets tons and tons of letters each day.

“So kids can pay their respects on the way to Disney World,” Tony says.

“Disney World is probably gonna do a meet and greet with Iron Man,” Pepper says. “You know. Costumed guy, like Chip and Dale.”

“Oh. Cute.” Tony sighs, and he reaches up, pinching the bridge of his nose. His arm shakes and he could barely get through his walking exercises earlier, and he just feels like crumbling into nothing.

He was supposed to die. He didn’t want to, but he was supposed to, and now he’s a shell of what he once was. He’s glad he’s here, he’s glad he’s with them, but he’s not the goddamn type to lay around and watch the world move on without him. He did that once and it was a mistake, a result of severe depression and a mark of his failure, and he doesn’t want to do it again. Morgan, for all her love and attachment to him, is best friends with every remaining Avenger, and Tony has never been so angry about a puzzle being completed without him than when he heard she and Sam finished off the Eiffel Tower one while he was taking one of his long naps.

And Peter. Peter is out there helping anybody and everybody, and coming back here bloody and beaten more often than not. Everything irritates Tony nowadays, from the way the water comes out of the faucet to the irregular beat of his heart, but that gets him most of all. And the kid refuses help, actively avoids Rhodey and everybody else who says they’ll help him, because he and Tony are cosmically linked in the way that they both have people who love them but they both go off on their own, like dumbasses, to keep everyone else safe. Seeing his own reflection in someone he values as much as Peter makes Tony feel insane, throws up walls and roadblocks and all kinds of confusing shit in his head, because he wants to be mad at him, wants to scream and throw tantrums and work in tandem with May to tell the kid never to leave the facility again, but he knows he’d do all the same things Peter is doing. Make all the same choices.

It’s his karmic justice, watching Peter step into the line of fire. That’s what Rhodey always says. But in the end, after everything, Peter is just better than Tony.

And Peter was dead. Peter was dust, Peter was a shining memory floating around Tony’s head every moment of every day, present in every fleck of sunlight, silent, silent, gone—and now he’s back and Tony is aching with the fear that he’ll die again. Die in a way that they can’t get him back, because Tony himself is torn, laid up, miles and miles from being worth anything to anyone.

“Where are you going?” Pepper asks, brushing Tony’s hair back now.

“What?” Tony asks, his neck hurting when he looks at her. “Did I move?”

“You’re far away in your eyes,” she says.

“Don’t go getting all metaphorical on me,” Tony says. “I never had the brain capacity for that shit, and now—”

“What are you thinking about?” Pepper asks, laying it out plain.

Tony sighs. He tries to shift on the bed a little bit without her help, but she offers it anyway, latching onto his arm. He grits his teeth and moves so he’s sitting up more, and his whole right side still feels like it’s on fire. Burning up, from the inside. His right arm isn’t worth shit anymore, he can’t put any weight on it without it threatening to collapse.

“Where are the kids?” he asks. He knows it’s late—well, late for him, considering he falls asleep at like eight now.

“Morgan’s watching TV with Cassie and Hope, but she’s got bedtime in like half an hour, and Peter...Peter…”

She looks like she’s trying to think on her feet for a lie, and Tony sighs, leaning back on the pillows.

“He’s gonna check in with me and Rhodey when he gets back,” Pepper says.

“Uh huh,” Tony says, trying not to imagine what the hell the kid is getting into now. The world is putting itself back together but it’s still a goddamn mess, and things aren’t like they were when Peter first disappeared. They never will be again. Is he even adapted to all that? Are these new, shithead villains allowing him to adapt? Tony knows the Raft lost a bunch in both snaps, in all the insane confusion. Where are they? Are they going after Peter?

He clears his throat. “Just remind Helen that I’m tired of being down here and I need to occupy the room you’re occupying before I have an entire fucking meltdown.” He knows he sounds petulant, but he doesn’t care. Pepper’s heard it plenty of times before.

She smiles, and leans in, kissing him on the cheek. “I’ll let her know.”

Tony doesn’t sleep, because he can’t, because too many things are plaguing him, most of all where Peter is and what he’s doing. Tony has a good view of the hallway through the windows to his room, and he stares and stares until his eyes cross, until he hallucinates, until he knows he’s going insane.

He sees Peter sneaking into the med bay at about four in the morning.

The kid’s mask is off and he’s got two short, harsh slashes across his cheek, and he’s bleeding from a slice across his neck. His suit is ripped in a few places and he’s holding onto his middle, and Tony can see his hands are shaking.

It’s like something splinters in Tony’s already broken brain, like his world narrows and there are hazy edges, both weakness and strength entwining in his veins when he sees Peter struggle up onto one of the beds in the main atrium, starting to tend his wounds without calling anybody to help.

Tony pulls his IV out with a wince, unhooks the heart monitor, and swings his legs over the side of the bed with every ounce of determination inside him. His cane is beside the door from where he left it earlier, and he’s counted the steps from his room to the main atrium a thousand times, and he can definitely make it.

He struggles over to the cane and grips it with his good hand like he wants it to break, and he doesn’t want to be an old man anymore. He called himself an old man years and years up until he actually became one, in a small, earth-shattering moment that changed him and everything else.

He hones in on Peter when he gets out into the hallway.

“What are you doing?” he calls.

Peter immediately looks up from his work on his side, and his brows furrow. He jumps off the bed with a little groan and rushes over to him. “Tony, what are you doing, you��re not supposed to be just wandering around—”

“It’s my facility,” Tony says, leaning into Peter when he comes over to support him. “I own it. I’ll wander. I can wander.”

Peter scoffs and moves him over to the closest chair, and Tony’s stupid cane clangs on the ground every time they take a step. Peter helps him sit and Tony can hear him wheezing.

“What happened to you?” Tony asks, leaning his cane against the wall. “What the hell are you doing out there, Pete? Shit, you keep coming back all fucked up and it’s...it’s making me nervous, kid. Recall, you were recently...very much not around—”

“I’m okay,” Peter says, patting Tony’s shoulder. He pulls up another chair and sits right next to him. “It’s just—a couple flesh wounds, you know? They’ll heal fast. I heal fast.”

“What about emotional scars?” Tony asks, raising his eyebrows, his heart still hammering from his brief stint on his feet. “Those stick, bud, and I know. I’ve got lots of ‘em. They’re littered all over me.”

Peter stares down at the ground for a second, bleeding. Tony sighs and reaches back up behind him, grabbing a box of Band-Aids from the shelf. It hurts to reach, it hurts to walk, it hurts to breathe, but it hurts worse to see the kid messed up like this. He takes one of the Band-Aids out and hands it over, replacing the box on a lower shelf. “Please put that on your face.”

Peter sighs and opens it up, looking at Tony as he sticks it there, trying to keep out the bubbles. Tony knows they have to clean it out, too, and the other one across Peter’s neck, let alone whatever’s going on with his ribcage.

Tony’s mind races.

“Why aren’t you giving yourself a break?” he asks. “Huh? Sam is laying around here like he’s on vacation. Clint’s whole family is staying in the west wing and nobody’s left for a week, we check on them to make sure they’re all still goddamn alive. Even Bruce is just sitting around playing video games with Thor, and me, I’m the biggest bag of bones there is, Pete, I’m just—”

“You’ve done enough,” Peter says, fast, and Tony sees that his eyes are red.

“You’ve done enough,” Tony repeats. “You’re busting your ass every night, doing God knows what, along with trying to adapt back into school—”

“You save everybody, but who saves you?” Peter asks, loud. His jaw is set, his brows furrowed. “You saved the whole entire world, no, universe, sorry, universe—you risked your life, you almost—you almost died, and most people are rightfully thankful and paying tribute but there are still assholes out there who want to—who want to try and hurt you, threaten you while you’re—while you’re recovering, and I found them and I—I’m just—I’m the one that saves you, okay? It’s me. I’m doing it, my job, you saved me, you’ve saved me—more than one time, multiple times, and I just—you’re—you’re too important to me to allow these guys to skulk around and make plans against you and I just—I gotta take care of it, my wounds heal and you’re safer and it’s...it’s fine.”

It’s quiet, after that. The kid’s rambling used to irritate him, in the beginning. Then he started to find himself endeared by it, and then he went looking for it, and then he missed it so desperately it was like he was missing a limb.

But this is like…this is…

He reaches out and takes Peter’s hands. He squeezes them, puts all of his might into his right. He doesn’t think about the scarring or being embarrassed about it, not right now. It doesn’t matter. “Peter.”

“Don’t tell me not to do it, because I’m—”

“I love you, kid,” Tony says, his voice breaking. “I love you. Okay? Just...it’s important to me that you know that. I don’t say it to a lot of people, but you’re—you—”

“I love you too,” Peter says. He squeezes Tony’s hands back, and looks miserable.

Tony wonders what the hell he’s found. He wonders if he’s even willing to share. He doesn’t think he has the strength to push him on it, not right now. “I know, after hearing all that, that there’s no way I can tell you to stop, like, not even if I special ordered those churros you like from Coney Island—”

“Nope, but it’s tempting,” Peter says, laughing a little bit.

“Just…please let Rhodey help you,” Tony says. “Please, Pete. Rhodey, Sam, Clint, Strange—please, please, Jesus, kid, let them help you. Let them help you with this, however the hell you’re going about it, let them help you with bank robberies and ATM holdups and stolen bikes and bodega brawls. Okay? Okay? You want me safe, I want you safe too, and that’s the way it’s gonna happen until I can suit back up and fly out there with you.”

Peter looks at him a particular way, when he says that. Like new hope dawns in his eyes. Tony hasn’t said anything about suiting up since—well, he hasn’t. Not at all. He hasn’t really considered it, since even the smallest things have felt insurmountable. But Peter, his loyalty, his love and dedication, shit, that’s...Tony doesn’t know how he’s earned that. If he’ll ever be truly deserving of it. But he wants to repay it.

“Please,” Tony says, squeezing the kid’s hands again. “I know I’m stubborn. I know May is stubborn. Don’t be stubborn like us. Not about this. Let us be stubborn, you be safe.”

Peter swallows hard and nods. “Okay,” he says, gently. “Fine. I’ll—I’ll give Rhodey the information and—have him go along with me, next time.”

“Good,” Tony says, relief in his shoulders.

“You gotta get back to bed,” Peter says, letting go of Tony’s hands and wincing to his feet. “For real. Pepper and Morgan would knock me into next Tuesday if they knew I was the reason you were running around.”

“Running around, please,” Tony says, watching him move over to the stock cabinet. “I’ll be doing marathons around this place if you don’t call Helen right this instant. Then she’ll have to deal with me on the ground and whatever the hell is going on with you.”

“I feel bad for her, dealing with us,” Peter says, looking over at him.

“Don’t worry,” Tony says. “I’m gonna give her as much money as she wants and a spa weekend, once her favorite spa reopens.”

“Good,” Peter says. “Okay, I’ll call her, lemme just—get some things ready for her, make it easy—”

The moment strikes Tony, suddenly. So unbearably real. Peter’s alive again. Alive. He’s really here, and he cares so goddamn much. “Pete,” Tony says.

“Yeah?” Peter asks, glancing over at him again.

Tony has been overwhelmed for two months now. Longer than that, if he thinks about it—five years, really, since Titan, since an empty grave and so much crying he nearly drowned in it—but the past two months he’s been a different person. But Peter still wants to protect that person. Peter still wants to stand by him, and for some reason, the others do too. Pepper, Morgan, Happy, Rhodey—his family, and the others, his team. Were they ever really a team before? Well, they are now. And the kid is the best of them.

If Peter thinks he’s worth protecting, worth saving, maybe that means all this turmoil is worth it. That all these little steps, despite how tedious and tiresome, might lead to him becoming...himself, again. And Peter is making sure there’s a place for him to come back to.

“Thank you,” Tony says, nodding to himself, a lump in his throat.

Peter smiles broadly, and holds his head high. “No. Thank you,” he says, right back.

#tony stark #peter parker #iron man #spider-man #iron dad #my fics #this one had a mind of its own lemme tell you

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lovelyshawnn · 4 years

Text

ill take care of you

Alpha!Y/N x Omega! Shawn

a/n: hey yall this is my first werewolf imagine so pls bare w me!! in all the werewolf! shawn imagines ive read, its always shawn thats the alpha so i thought id switch it up a bit lol *SMUT WARNING *

I rubbed my hands together, trying to conduct some heat within the palms of my hands. Even though I am a werewolf and that should mean I’m basically warm all the time, I still had a hard time defrosting my fingers in the middle of my living room. Shawn, who was the complete opposite of me, reached his warm hands out and rubbed them against mine, blowing some of his hot breath on to it while my fingers slowly regained feeling. This even colder than usual weather could only mean one thing: winter was approaching. And with winter approaching, that meant my heat was also approaching. As a female alpha, my heat would hit me 10x harder than average werewolf. Which is exactly why I called a pack meeting today at our usual spot in my living room. I quietly thanked Shawn before returning my attention to the rest of my pack.

“So,” I stated clearly as I stood in front of the group, “I’m sure you all know what this cold weather means.” Knowing looks were exchanged within the pack.

“That means I’m going to be at the cabin all next week. Brian, you’re going to be in charge while I’m gone.” The beta’s face instantly lit up at the sound of his name, a look of surprise and confusion plastered his face.

“Me? Doesn’t Shawn usually take your spot?” Brian questioned.

I cleared my throat and answered sternly, “Shawn is coming with me.”

A look of realisation flashed by his face, as his eyes travelled to his best friend who was standing there awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. “Bro...nice!” Brian whispered his sexual innuendos to Shawn, giving him a fist bump and a pat on his back as the rest of the pack roared with laughter and clapping. I rolled my eyes at the sight. Everyone in the pack assumed Shawn would be the dominante one in the relationship considering he was about a foot taller than me and built purely from muscle. But little did they know, Shawn was always a whiney little mess when he was underneath my finger tips. And with an alpha’s heat in sync with her omega’s rut, there was no way he was going to last a week in that cabin with me.

“Yeah yeah, whatever Brian. Just try not to get anyone killed while I’m gone,” I said with an assertive but joking tone, “Pack meeting adjourned. We leave tomorrow and I still haven’t started packing.”

“Aye aye Captain!” Brian said with a sarcastic cheery attitude before leaving the house with the rest of the pack trailing behind him. I watched them through the window, making sure each one got into their cars safely before making my way up into my room with Shawn hot on my heels. His huge smile spread across his face as he pulled out my duffel bag from my closet before plopping himself on the bed and making himself comfy.

I eyed him suspiciously, “Why are you so excited to help me pack?”

“I’m glad you asked!” he perked up immediately before heading to my drawers. He opened one of the drawers before picking out a black lacy matching underwear and bra set, holding the delicate and dainty fabric between his hands. “I’m thinking you should bring these,” he replied with a devilish smirk and a wink that made me weak at the knees.

I laughed and rolled my eyes before snatching the fabric from his fingers, “You sure you can handle that, baby boy?”

His demeanor instantly changed as he heard the pet name that he adored hearing in bed. “Y-yes. Of course,” He nervously chuckled as I took a few steps closer to him, pressing my body against his. His throat felt dry all of a sudden as he stood with a clear view of my breasts in my v neck shirt.

“Oh, I don’t know, Shawn.... remember what happened the last time I wore this?” I said, biting my lip to hold back my smirk. Shawn’s face immediately blushed a bright red from the memory, his eyes instantly shutting close as he cringed.

“You almost came in me and got me pregnant with your pups, baby.” I said in a hushed tone as I trailed my fingers up and down his chest. I leaned closer to him, standing on my tippy toes to plant kisses all over his neck before whispering into his ear, “Only this time, I don’t think I want to stop you.”

Shawn’s eyes immediately widened, his hard on aching from the tight jeans he was wearing. In the few months that we’ve been dating, he had never experienced sex with me during my heat, and even though he mentally prepared himself to be able to handle the intesity, my last statement basically erased all of his hard work. His head immediately tilted back, mouth open in pleasure as I palmed him through his jeans. He was overwhelmed with my smell, even stronger than all those times before because of my heat approaching. He let out a quiet groan, grasping at my wrist as my hands worked faster. “Baby, I-“

Thats when I removed my hand completely, backing away from him and walking across the room to my closet before lifting up hanger with a black shirt on it. “So I was thinking of bringing this shirt to match with my jeans?”

He stood there gobsmacked, chest heaving as I clearly left him high and dry. He rolled his eyes, grabbing a nearby pillow and tossing it at my face playfully, “You’re such a goddamn tease. Pack the pink shirt instead, it matches better.”

I laughed at him trying to adjust the growing tent in his tight pants. “Me? A tease? Never.”

Shawn flopped back onto his bed and rolled his eyes playfully. “You’re gonna be the death of me, honey,”

I carefully folded the pink shirt Shawn was referring to before placing it into my duffle bag and making my way to him. I leaned over his body, giving him a quick peck on the nose, “Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you. Just wait one more night.”

Shawn nodded, completely understanding. It was too dangerous for you two to go at it right now, especially with my nosey ass neighbors who would definitely file noise complaints. Shawn was actually really excited to be spending the week with me at the cabin, which was far out and isolated in the woods. He’d been there a couple times but always with the pack, never alone with me. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he could finally take you wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted on every surface in the house. He had his thoughts especially on that white marble countertop in the cabin’s kitchen, wondering what I’d look like bent over it while he was making love to you. “You okay?” My sultry voice called out to Shawn, who looked zoned out and deep in thought.

“Never better,” Shawn replied, shaking his head to rid his dirty thoughts before helping me out with packing to distract himself from his growing erection.

“Hey Bri!” I chirped, picking up the phonecall from my packmate and putting it on speakerphone as I drove.“Hey Y/N! Hows it going so far? Have you guys made it to the cabin yet?” Brian’s voice sounded from the phone.

“Yuup, just pulled up right now,” I replied with one hand on the steering wheel of my blacked out Jeep and one hand on the phone. Shawn was sitting on the passenger side, his hand resting on my thigh and rubbing circles on it with his thumb the whole ride here. To say I was excited was an understatement. His seemingly innocent actions were enough to get me hot and bothered, wanting him to inch his fingers up just a little higher. That was probably why I drove 20 mph over the speed limit to get to our destination faster.

“Great! You guys got everything you need? Food, clothes, protection?” Brian said through the phone. I instantly blushed, looking over to Shawn who surely heard the whole thing. He looked at me with wide eyes, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, fuck off, Bri,” I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me, “Tell the others we got here safe, okay?”

“Yup! Have fun, lovebirds,” He replied before ending the call. He was so going to get whats coming to him during the next pack training. By the time I ended the call, Shawn was already grabbing our things and heading inside the cabin. I followed him inside and immediately made a beeline to the kitchen to look for some snacks.

I heard the loud thumps of Shawn’s footsteps before seeing his body emerge from the hallway. “Babe?”

I looked up from the bag of chips I was currently devouring, “yeah?”

Shawn walked towards me until he was right in front of me, placing one of his hands on my waist while the other flew to the back of his neck, rubbing nervously. “I... sort of, uhm, forgot the condoms?” he said.

I chuckled at how he looked so cute when he was nervous. “Thats okay,” I said while looking at him through my lashes, “We don’t need it.”

“You know I like feeling all of you inside me,” I said, fingers sliding beneath his sweatpants and briefs before palming him in my hand. His breath hitched and I instantly heard his heart beat pick up, pounding in my ears. His smell was always so damn intoxicated when he was aroused, a strong mix of musk.

“Fuck, please,” he whined while throwing his head back in pleasure, his hips lightly thrusting against my hand. “What do you want, baby boy? Use your words,” I said with a slight smirk before I attached my lips to his neck, sucking soft bruises that would heal quickly anyways.

“I want your mouth, please,” He panted. I gave his lips one last peck before I turned his body so that his backside was leaning against the counter. I dropped down to my knees, taking off both his briefs and sweats in one swift motion before circling my tongue around his tip.

At the feeling of that, he immediately let out a moan and threw his head back again, fingers immediately finding the back of my head. I pushed his hand away, “Touch me and I’ll stop.”

Shawn lightly pouted, but didn’t want this feeling to ever stop, so he gripped the edge of the counter behind him until his knuckles turned white. I licked a stripe from the base of his cock to the tip before circling it one last time and finally taking him into my mouth. I bobbed my head slowly, making sure to not to give him too much too soon.

He whimpered as he desperately tried to stop himself from grabbing my hair to pick up the pace. His thighs tensed under my fingertips as he held himself back from thrusting into my mouth. I smiled, lips still wrapped around him. “Good boy,” I praised him, knowing how much he enjoyed that, before sinking my mouth onto him and taking every inch until it hit the back of my throat.

He let out an animalistic growl, eyes starting to shine a golden brown as he couldn’t control how good it felt. Watching how his chest rose while his cheeks became a bright shade of pink, I moaned with his dick still in my mouth, sending vibrations through him. I released him with a pop before standing up on my feet again when Shawn instantly grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to him, kissing me passionately before turning me over and bending me across the counter.

He lifted my skirt and pushed my panties to the side before trailing his finger up and down my slit, gathering the wetness before pushing his digit inside. He pumped in and out a couple times, moans tumbling out of my mouth. He withdrew his fingers and rubbed the wetness all over his dick before sliding in his cock effortless. He hissed at the feeling of my tight pussy around him. “Mm, you feel so good baby,” I moaned out.

My praise only egged him on more, his thrusts quickening. My fingers found my bundle of nerves, bringing me closer to my orgasm. “Shawn, I’m gonna-“

At the sound of my voice, Shawn quickly pulled out, leaving me high and dry. I growled at the loss of contact, eyes flashing red momentarily at him. “I’ll take care of you,” Shawn let out quickly before I could get any angrier, “Ride me. Please”

The sound of his whimper made me smirk, making me instantly hop off the counter and taking his hand before dragging him to the bedroom. Pushing him onto the bed, back against the headboard, I made my way up and sat myself on his lap, lowering myself onto his cock. I gasped at his girth, one hand flying to his hair with a firm grip and the other scratching down his chest. Shawn moaned at the heavenly feeling of my claws dragging down his skin.

I began kissing on his neck, sucking harsher than I could control. But Shawn wasn’t complaining. He obviously loved the extra attention on him, which was evident in the way he was a total mess under my touch. There was a feeling in the pit of his stomach, an urge to sink his teeth into my neck. He sucked and nipped at my neck, leaving behind a hickey so deep that not even my werewolf healing abilities could fix. At the feeling of his harsh teeth breaking my delicate skin, I felt a feeling of white hot pain for a split second, before my body flooded with electricity. The pleasure was almost too much for me to bare. “Honey...,” He trailed off as he threw his head back. I understood the cue, rocking my hips harder as I felt my own orgasm coming on.

I felt myself tightening around him as he reached out to me, fingers rubbing my clit in tight circles. “Give me your cum, baby,” I whispered into his ear, nibbling on his earlobe. Shawn’s thrusts faltered, eyes wide as he took in what I just said. He couldn’t tell if it was what I really wanted or if it was just my heat talking, but he seemed to lose all self control as he locked eyes with me. “Fuck!” Shawn yelled, reaching his orgasm just as I reached mine, his hot load squirting in me.

We sat there post-high, chests heaving as we came down from our orgasms. “Did I...” Shawn asked, eyes hooded and barely open in his state of exhaust.

“Mark me?” I finished, reaching up to trail my fingers on the pink bite mark on my neck, “Guess so.”

He instantly grinned, smile taking up his whole face ad he pulled me into his chest and engulfing me into a hug. I giggled at his goofiness, noticing how our heart beats were completely in sync. “You’re mine now,” he whispered as he peppered kisses on the little scar where my neck met my shoulder.

“I’ve always been yours, babe.”

#shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes smut imagine #werewolf!shawn #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes

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janicho88 · 4 years

Text

In This Together Part 2

Pairing- Dean x Wife Reader

Word count-6317

Summary-Picks up right where part 1 left off. What’s the readers outcome from surgery, time in the hospital and what happens over the next few months. AU

Warnings- Sick reader, hospital, Little bit of language, A little angst, and fluff, mentions of sex and implied smut, brief talk of loss of pet.

Possible triggers talk of surgeries some are a little descriptive, talk of possible infertility, female problems.

Part 1

The members of your surgical team that came to wheel you off to surgery could tell you were nervous. They were talking and joking all the way to the operating room. Once they got you to the room you were moved from the bed to the table, a blood pressure cuff put on and both of your arms stretched out and secured down. This was so you didn’t move them during surgery.

The head anesthesiologist was talking through and quizzing one of the younger members on your team. One of the nurses told you he was still learning. Someone was holding an oxygen mask above your face, they blood pressure cuff started running, and they were talking about putting something in you IV next. The second medication they put in your IV burned while going in and then your whole hand, you were told it was because of your abused veins. You guessed that was from so many surgeries and previous IVs. Things got to be a little much for you and you were unable to stop the tears, one nurse saw this and grabbed your hand so you could squeeze it to try and take your mind off the pain in your other hand and your nerves with the impending surgery. The oxygen that was hovering over your face was now pressed down, you were told to take deep breathes to get the oxygen into your lungs.

Darkness and noise were the two things you registered. The noises changed into people’s voices and you couldn’t figure out what was going on in this dream. You just wanted everyone to let you sleep. The voices kept talking and wouldn’t leave you alone, this went on for a few minutes until you finally remembered you had had surgery. By now you were slowly starting to realize you were in recovery, there was a pain in your lower abdomen, and you were freezing. It was a challenge for you to open your eyes, let alone keep them open for more than a few seconds. Someone was trying to tell you their name and that it was okay. They asked you your pain level, but you were unable to get any words out yet, so you held up 7 fingers. She gave you some medicine to try and bring that down. When you finally could get your mouth to function you kept repeating ‘cold.’ They got you another blanket and you continued to struggle to open your eyes. You were slowly becoming a little more aware, you wanted Dean, and some ice chips for your extremely dry throat. ‘Ice’ and ‘Dean’ became your next repeated phrases. The recovery nurse got a cup of ice chips for you, and by now you were able to sit up a little and keep your eyes open, but they still wouldn’t bring Dean back.

Suddenly, you had tears running down your face you couldn’t stop. For some reason you always tended to cry when you were waking up from anesthesia. The nurse kept telling you everything was fine, you wanted to know how fine. Fine as in they were able to leave the uterus, or fine like everything had to come out, but you were doing fine? You were with it enough to decide to wait and ask Dean because you wanted him with you when you heard. You had to wait a bit longer for them to bring Dean back. As he finally walked past the curtain, he could see the tears on your face. He walked to your side took the ice cup from your hand and gave you the best hug he could with all your wires still attached. The nurse stepped away for a minute and left you two alone.

“Hey Sweetheart, how are you doing, why all the tears?”

“Always do… don’t know” you weren’t able to talk in complete sentences yet.

“I know, you can’t help the tears when you wake up. How are you doing? You seem a little more out of it than usual.” This was the fifth surgery you had had that Dean was around for, and you never took this long to get your wits back in recovery.

“Hurts,… what he take?”

Dean started to feed you ice chips as he explained what the doctor did. “When they opened you up, they found a second fibroid. The doctor got them both out, he was able to leave the uterus. He checked the ovary you still have and said that looked good, everything went really well, Sweetheart.”

“Awesome” you said as you let out the breath you had been holding and tried to give Dean another hug. This news calming you down some.

Your nurse came back and asked if the pain had decreased, it hadn’t so they gave you something else. You told Dean the pain was worse with this than everything they did to your foot. Someone else came and helped disconnect your IV and the other monitors you were attached to. You asked Dean what time it was to give you an idea of how long surgery was.

“It’s just after 2.”

“Long surgery?” When you mentally timed everything beforehand you figured you would be heading to a room by 2.

“No, surgery went quicker than anticipated, it was only an hour and twenty minutes. You have been in recovery for over an hour and a half. You wouldn’t wake up.”

“That why I’m having so much trouble now?”

“Probably, you also didn’t sleep last night, and they must have given you something good to knock you out.”

Dean stood by your side holding your hand and feeding you ice chips until a nurse came to tell him he had to leave. The thought of Dean leaving and not seeing him, or any other family for three days had drugged you starting to cry again. He gave you a hug and told you to call him when you went to you room, everything was going to be fine.

A short time later they put a mask on you and took you to your room, which was on the maternity floor. This would be your second time staying on this floor after a surgery. Hopefully, the next time here you and Dean would be welcoming a baby. Your new nurses got you situated in your room and an IV hooked back up. One went to get you and ice pack and folded up blanket to hold against your stomach. While taking to your nurse Laurie, you realized you had a fat lip and a cut on the inside from where they incubated you. They said your mask only had to be worn when you went to walk in the halls or if someone was coming in your room. That was a relief, you weren’t looking forward to wearing it the whole time. When they left you took the bag you had taken out of your duffel which had your phone, tablet, chargers and magazine keep you occupied over the next few days along with a small travel case with Chapstick, lotion, an eyeglass cleaner, cough drops and a few other things you had learned you would need in the hospital and hung it over one of the bed rails within reach. You knew you weren’t going to be allowed out of bed that day, so you had wanted to make sure anything you would need was easy to get to. With that all set, you called Dean like he asked you to.

“Hi Honey, in your room?”

“Yes, all set up. Scooby and I have a great view of the parking garage and traffic light.”

“I can’t believe you took a stuff animal with you, such a goof.”

“Hey now! No one else can be here with me, and Scooby has been with me for every hospital stay.” Scooby was a stuffed Chocolate Lab your dad had gotten you in high school when your real Lab named Scooby died unexpectedly. Dean knew how upset you had been to lose him but would occasionally tease you about the stuffed animal.

“Fair point, I’m glad you have company and are all settled. Get some rest, I’ll talk to you later. Love you Y/N.”

“Thank you for everything. Love you Dean.”

You hung up from Dean and turned on T.V. for a little background noise. It didn’t take long for your machines to start beeping. They had compression cuffs on your legs to prevent blood clots, but because of your recent surgery in your right leg today’s surgery team didn’t want it on that leg. The machine didn’t like that, so it kept shutting itself off and beeping. The IV on your hand was in a slightly odd position and if your hand moved a certain way it shut off and started beeping. Things were off to a great start!

Your nurse Leslie showed you how to restart the IV when it went off on you. Both her and Laurie tried various ways to get the compression machine to keep working on just one leg, but it kept shutting off so they just took it off and you would need to move your feet around while in bed. Someone from respiratory came up and gave you an incentive spirometer, which is a plastic thing you hold and take deep breathes with trying to get the piece inside to whatever number they tell you. It is good to help clear your lungs, but it also had you coughing more. Laurie came in and had you sitting up and dangling your feet over the side, you had started to notice the pain was lower than you thought it would be. For some reason you had thought the doctor said the incision would be just below your belly button. You mentioned being surprised at where it hurt to Laurie, and she told you the incision was down over your pelvic area. If you had really thought about it, you would have known it before. This was when you realized you had a tube connected to your incision that went to little pump. It was a Negative Pressure Wound Therapy System, it was supposed to draw fluid away from the surgery area and promote healing, you just kept calling it a pump or drain.

At one point you made the mistake of lifting both arms above your head to pull your hair into a ponytail. Oh, that hurt, you were going to need to move nice and slow next time you did that. Everything you moved pulled your stomach, and coughing was awful. The night nurses had you sitting on the side of the bed again and this time also standing in place, the more you move the easier it’s supposed to get. Usually the first night after surgery they need your vitals every hour, but you only saw your nurses twice that night, it wasn’t a great night. You got a little bit of sleep that night waking up at least once an hour till you gave up at five. Sleeping in hospitals had never been easy for you.

It was six am when the doctor came in. He told you surgery, a myomectomy, went well. There had been a new fibroid, both were taken out and sent for a biopsy. You needed to see him the following week to your pump removed instead of the two-week checkup they had you scheduled for. He might send you home the next day, but he wouldn’t know till tomorrow.

You had two new day nurses on Tuesday, Courtney and Kim, you remembered Kim from your surgery two years ago when you had been one of her patients. Both were super sweet and in and out of your room all day. They encouraged you to get up and move around your room, leaving your crutches close to the bed so you could reach them. Even though you didn’t need them all the time there were times you still did. You had brought them to help balance you since you would be a little groggy with the pain meds and didn’t need to risk a fall when you were walking. Late afternoon you started to develop a fever they needed to watch. Courtney had you walking the halls with her to get you moving more. You talked to Dean, your parents, Jess and Donna throughout the day. Your mom and Dean were both struggling not being able to come up and see or help you. You looked through your magazine and tried to read fanfiction on your tablet, but you kept beginning to doze off then jerk yourself awake never fulling reaching sleep. Your nurse Laurie, from the day before was working a different hall today but came in to see how you were doing and tell you goodbye before she left.

Dean called once more before he went to sleep. “Hey Baby. How is it going tonight? Same nurses?”

“Hi Honey. Nope, different nurses tonight, they are very nice. Only been a few hours and I have already seen them more than I saw last nights. Fever is down, back into normal range. Been getting up and moving walked the hall again. Pretty sore, but I know I will be for awhile.”

“I wish I could be up there with you. I am so glad tonight is going better for you. I was half tempted to call up there and complain this morning when you told me what was going on last night.”

“Thanks, I wish you were up here too. I miss you! It helps that tonight is going better though. I appreciate that you were going to call, but please don’t. I know you worry, but that wouldn’t have done anything they were already gone.”

“Will see. I miss you too, hope you come home tomorrow. Bed is lonely without you.”

“I know you are hoping for that. I want to be home with you, but in away being in the hospital is a little easier on me. Like earlier when they were worried about the fever, you know I usually move in my sleep and this bed doesn’t give me the room to. Although Nurse Dean does an amazing job when he’s on duty.

“Haha, thanks, well nurse Dean is ready to report for duty. I do my best for my favorite patient.

“Yes, you do! Hey, the nurse is coming in for vitals and with pain meds. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight Baby, I love you.”

“I love you too, I’ll call you on my way to work. Sleep well Sweetheart”

Lindsey, one of your night nurses took your vitals, gave you your pills and even brought a fresh glass of water. Shortly after she left you decided to try and get some sleep. It was harder to come by tonight and you gave up by 4:30. Lindsie your second nurse of the night, yes they had the same name just different spellings, did you vitals again before she left and checked if you needed anything else.

It was just before six before your doctor came in for his rounds. He said eveything still looked good and he was letting you go this afternoon. Dean called on his drive into work to see how you were doing.

“Morning Sweetheart, how did last night go?”

“It was alright, not much sleep, yours?”

“Lonely, but fine.”

“Sorry, you were lonely, but maybe I can help with that tonight. I’m free to go this afternoon as soon as I have a ride”

“Awesome! I’ll pick you up as soon as I can get out of the shop, do you want me to pick anything up dinner, pie?”

“No, I’m not eating much it hurts to swallow still, and there is a premade pie in the freezer all ready, you just have to bake it.”

“Seriously, you’re the best Baby! I just pulled into the shop I’ll talk to you later.”

“Sounds good, have a great day at work. Love you, Dean.”

“Love you too, Y/N. Call you when I’m getting out.”

Courtney was back on duty as your day nurse, she caught up to you while you had gone to walk the halls, finishing the walk with you. When you went back to your room she informed you, you could shower and get dressed in your own clothes, no more hospital gown! Before she left she showed you how to disconnect the pump from the tubing and tape the tube to your side facing down so water didn’t run in it. When you got out you had to reconnect it and restart the pump. You walked the hall a few more times but didn’t do much else beside listen to the television. Staying awake was proving difficult today. When it was close to four you grabbed your crutches and started to gather all your things and repack your bag so you would be ready when Dean called.

Dean called you just after four to tell you he finished early and was on his way to “break you out.” Being tired of sitting you walked out to the nurses station to let Courtney know he was on his way, she had just finished printing your release papers and you both headed back to your room to go over them. You were unable to lift anything more than a gallon of milk for the next six week, the only exercise you could do was walking, going up and down stairs was limited, you had to be careful of the pump and had an appointment the following Tuesday to have it taken out. You took one last look around and made sure you had all your things in your bag, and she went to grab a wheelchair and you were on your way out.

Another nurse joined your trip down inquiring about the crutches, you told you had had surgery on your foot and ankle a few months prior, you weren’t completely off them yet. She asked what you had done, and like your other nurses had when you explained the surgery, gave you a wide eyed ‘wow’. Courtney laughed and told her she thought that was everyone’s response.

Dean had brought your Equinox since it would be easier for you than sitting down in Baby. He took your things from the nurses, and you thanked them for all their help. Dean helped you in the car after giving you a hug and you were off.

It was a fairly quiet ride home, your throat was still bothering you, you were just happy to be out. When you arrived home, Dean grabbed your bag and helped you in. It was the first time you had gone up any stairs and was slightly painful. Once inside you headed to your room to change and then back to the living room to lay on the couch. Dean helped you get comfortable before changing and joining you. You laid on the couch with your head on Dean’s lap and his feet on the ottoman, he got up later to make a lite dinner and cook his pie, for the most part you two were enjoying having each other close.

Laying in bed that night you had to sleep on your back and Dean was laying as close as he could when a noise got his attention.

“Do you hear something buzzing? What is that?”

“Me, well the pump buzzes when it’s having trouble and trying to get butter suction. It doesn’t run all the time and you must not have heard it with the T.V. on early. It also has a light that flashes occasionally, that surprised me the first night in the hospital when I could see a light from under the gown. I’ve gotten used to it; do you want me to sleep in the other room? That way I don’t keep you up?”

“Not a chance Sweetheart, bed’s been to empty without you. No way am I letting you leave.”

“Okay if your sure, goodnight Babe. Love you.”

“Love you too, Sweetheart.”

You woke up a few times during the night but didn’t get out of bed for two reasons. One you didn’t want to move, and two, you didn’t want to wake Dean. As much as you were up you still slept better than the hospital, you had missed Dean and your bed.

Dean had offered to stay home with you Thursday, but you told him you would be fine and sent him off to work. You knew they were still trying to get everything ready for Monday when the store could allow people back in and didn’t want to cause extra work for the others. Jess was still working from home and called and asked if you were up for company. She and Jake came over around noon with a pizza. Little guy was getting so big, he was one month away from his first birthday. You were unable to pick him up, so Jess set him down next to you on the couch, while she got plates and drinks for you two. Dean had bought a baby activity walker he saw online, he said it was for Jake when he was over, but you knew he was hoping one day you would have a child to use it. It was a racecar and so very Dean. Jess got it out of the guest room after you were done eating and put Jake in it to play. He loved playing with the steering wheel and horn.

While watching him play you and Jess turned on turned on T.V., settling on reruns of Bridezilla. Both of you cringing at the crazy antics and behaviors of the brides and others on the show. This led you both to talking about your own weddings. Jess and Sam had been college sweethearts, meeting at Stanford. Jess was full of energy, but pretty levelheaded, there wasn’t much drama with their wedding planning.

Dean and you had been high school sweethearts dating since sophomore year, and friends since grade school, you married after college. You had secretly been planning your wedding since your senior year of high school, but you would never tell Dean that. The biggest disagreement planning your wedding being what you were leaving the church in. You wanted to leave with your Bridal party in a limo, or bus, while Dean wanted Baby. When Sam said something to Dean about painting ‘Just Married’ on the back window and tying cans behind her, Dean came up with a compromise pretty quick. You would rent a party bus to go to the reception with your bridal party and leave the reception in Baby, and no one would touch his precious car.

Jess headed home with Jake after nap and you read until Dean came home, the two of you spending another quiet evening in.

When Dean left for work Friday, you were back on the couch. You spent much of the morning fighting to keep your eyes open. When Dean came home to check on you during his lunch break, he found you had crawled back in bed. Jess had told him the day before you kept almost dozing off while she had been over. You woke up before he went back to work, but you still weren’t fully awake. While sleeping you had missed taking some of your medications, and you were starting to wake up more. You had looked over you pill bottles and realized that while you had taken these meds before you had never had them prescribed at this high a dose. You decided to take some generic medication during the day and the prescriptions for before bed so you could sleep. If the over the counter Tylenol could have handled you pain it may have been a good idea, but it wasn’t strong enough and you were miserable by the time you took your pills before bed. You figured you would just spread out the time you took them slightly.

It was a nice early summer weekend, you and Dean enjoyed at home, spending some time both inside and out on your deck. Both of your parents stopped over to see how you were doing and if you needed anything. Although a big downside to summer surgery, you were unable to enjoy your parents pool for the next 6 weeks.

Tuesday Dean left work early to take you to your appointment, you weren’t allowed to drive for another week. The doctor told you everything looked good, he took out your pump. Not going to lie, you were so glad to see it go between the buzzing and the tubing that would get tangled up. The stitches were inside, and they would dissolve so you didn’t have to come back to have those taken out. Since it was summer and so hot out, he wanted you to keep guaze on the incision to keep any sweat from seeping in and causing an infection. The biopsy of the fibroids came back and they were both cancer free! For now, he was leaving you on the birth control. You still had your lifting, and stair restrictions, also no sex for 5 weeks. You saw Dean’s face over the doctor’s shoulder, it was utter disbelief. As soon as the two of you got in the car Dean voiced his displeasure.

“Five weeks, isn’t that a little excessive? He said a horizontal incision wouldn’t be as bad as a vertical. Your surgery earlier this year we only had to wait a few weeks.”

“One, my last surgery was on my foot and ankle, completely different areas. Yes, the vertical incision has a higher chance of bursting open, but it’s still fairly big cut on my stomach that needs to heal. Oh! and in case you forgot, they also cut my uterus!”

“I know that I”

“Dean, I can’t cough, laugh or blow my noise without pain right now. Sex, with your not so little Dean, isn’t going to go well. I’m so sorry my recovery is inconveniencing you.”

“Sweetheart, no that’s”

“Please, just drop it. I don’t want to talk right now.” The rest of your car ride home was silent.

When you got home you went to your room and left Dean on his own. He found you laying on your bed with tears on your face when he went to check on you.

Gif by homeofthenutty

“I’m sorry, I hadn’t really thought about not having sex, and then the doctor said that I was a little surprised. I had meant to tease, but it didn’t come out that way. All I had really thought about regarding the surgery was the surgery itself and what could happen. I wasn’t trying to force you to do anything you aren’t ready for, or that’s going to hurt you. You could never be an inconvenience. I was surprised and I didn’t think about what came out of my mouth. I’m sorry I was an ass.”

“I feel like I’ve been a burden on you, and you have to keep sacrificing for me. Today was just one more thing you found out you had to give up for me because of these surgeries. I feel like I have been asking so much of you with all my problems. There is a good chance the fibroids will come back. We know it might be harder for me to conceive because of the other surgery. I knew I was going to start crying and I didn’t want to, which is why I didn’t want to keep talking in the car.”

Dean laid down next to you pulling you back in his arms as best he could. “You have never been and will never be a burden to me. We are in this together. I want you to understand that right now. None of the things that have happened to you were in your control. You were born with high arches, not your fault. Those foot surgeries weren’t for the fun of it. You didn’t ask for the cyst to turn into a mass on your ovary, or those fibroids to grow. There was nothing you could do to prevent any of this. I’m not worried about us not being able to have sex right now. Hey, you made me wait two years after we started dating. I can wait a few weeks to have some fun in the sheets. Right now, I just want my girl healthy. Until then I am happy to hold you just like this. As for a baby, one thing at a time, we can always look into adoption. As long as I have you, I’m happy.”

“These last few months I haven’t been able to do a lot on my own and you have had to take on more work around the house. I couldn’t drive and you had to drive me ev”

“Stop right there. I like driving, that’s no problem. Whatever you need I’m here for. Just like I know you are there for me. For better or worse, we are in this together. Remember in college I broke my wrist in that Championship game for football senior year? You were typing both of our assignments for a month because it was in a sling and cast and I couldn’t. They wouldn’t let me drive for a few weeks either. You drove, ran the errands, kept the apartment clean. We support each other always.”

“That was one month this is almost five.”

“Time doesn’t matter. In this together, always. Okay? Honey, I never want you to feel like you can’t cry in front of me, that was never a problem before.”

“I know, it wasn’t that, it was more it was going to hurt, and I didn’t want to.”

Dean tried to hide a chuckle, “That’s understandable right now too.”

“I’m also fairly certain my period is starting so..”

“So, that always makes you a little crazier,” Dean leaned over and kissed your forehead. “I love you, I’m sorry I’m an insensitive ass.”

“I love you too, I’m sorry I’m crazy and blow things out of proportion.” You turned your head toward Dean for a kiss.

Sure enough you were absolutely miserable the next day. When the pump was removed so were the coverings on your incision, it had gauze over it, but it still kept rubbing uncomfortably. The therapy from the pump had also been easing the pain some when it was pulling everything together. Throw cramps on top of the pain you still had from surgery and as of today only taking over the counter pain meds instead of prescription, it was a rough day.

That weekend Dean walked into your room where you were folding laundry.

“Hey, what would you like to do Thursday.”

“I don’t know, what’s Thursday?”

“Um… your birthday?”

“Oh, I guess I forgot we were this far in June already. I really don’t care. We can have dinner here and pick up something, that work for you?”

“Your day, whatever you want, Sweetheart.”

Thursday came around and Dean woke you with a kiss before he left for work. You enjoyed a lazy morning, Donna and Jess came over around lunch time. They brought lunch and you three headed out to lounge in the sun. Jess headed out a few hours later to pick up Jake from Mary, and get ready to come back with Sam. Donna left shortly after needing to go pick up Jody’s daughter Alex. Dean came home from work early bringing you flowers and having picked up a cake. You like to bake, but store-bought cakes were still your favorite. Both of your parents, Sam with his family, and your brother came for dinner. Dean ordered pizza and bread, which your parents picked up and he bought things to make a salad. This way there wasn’t much clean up which is what you wanted. You all spent the evening enjoying each other’s company talking and laughing. When the house cleared out, Dean and you watched a movie before heading to bed.

The following week was your first time going to work since you had your foot surgery in February. To be honest you were a little nervous about being back, even though you grew up in this business. It was going to be your first time running this location. Both of your doctors had you limited on what you could do. Three days being the most you could be in there and not back to back the hours you were allowed to be there in a day only between 4-5. You still couldn’t lift more than a gallon of milk for another month. With everything going on with Covid, this was the third week restaurants could be open for dine-in, and new regulations were in place. Things were going to be different for a while, and who knew what the new normal would be.

You drove yourself to your next doctors’ appointment four weeks after your last one. He was pleased with how it was healing. You doctor knew kids were something you and Dean wanted. He was keeping you on birth control till October to give the uterus time to heal. After a myomectomy, most doctors would say to wait 3-6 months before trying to conceive, this would put you four months out. Your restrictions other than how much you could lift were rescinded. The weight limit you could carry was now at twenty pounds for a few more weeks before you didn’t have one at all. He would see you back end of September.

Summer went fast for both of you. The two of you had spent time at your parent’s pool, gone to the lake with Sam, Jess, and Jake, Dean’s parents often coming. It was mid-July before you could actually get in and enjoy the water. The two of you had a few weekend bonfires at your house with friends and family coming to hang out. Fourth of July weekend Cas brought some fireworks, oh were you were thankful your neighbors’ houses weren’t too close. He went to throw what he thought was just paper from the box in the fire pit. Cas had picked up an unopen box of firecrackers from the case and threw it in the fire with the garbage, that had everyone running back from the pit. Thankfully, no damage done, but you were sure Dean and Benny weren’t going to let him forget it.

Gif by bringmesomepie56

Jess, Donna, her sister Jody and you, had spent a girls’ day at an outlet mall an hour away, trying to take advantage of the summer sales. Jake had his first birthday. Dean had tried to get Jess to do a clown theme party, but she wouldn’t do that to Sam. Instead going with a jungle theme. The boy didn’t just grab for his mini cake Jess got him; he smashed his whole face in it! Dean made you promise when you had a kid that he could hire a clown at least once, and not tell Sam it was coming, brothers.

September was here before you knew it. You were back to working 5 or 6 days a week, Dean doing the same. Both of you were home by 7 most evenings and spent most of them together either just the two of you or with your friends. You two tried to match up at least one day off a week to spend just the two of you.

October was growing closer and you and Dean needed to talk. You could either continue on the birth control longer or go off next month and see what happened. You would run a chance of a fibroid coming back either way. Nothing said one would come back quick or get big enough to cause you problems again though. You were praying it would be awhile, if ever before that happened.

It was one of the last Saturdays in September, you and Dean were enjoying a bonfire just the two of you in your back yard. Both sitting on the swing, you curled into his side.

“I’ve got that appointment this week,” you reminded Dean

“We haven’t talked about it in a while, what are your thoughts? Are you leaning a certain way?”

“I know what I’m thinking, but honestly I’d like to hear what’s on your mind first.”

Dean was quiet for a minute before answering “Honestly, I always thought we would have a couple of kids, part of me thought we would have already had at least one by now. If your ready now, I say let’s try, Y/N.”

“I always thought we would have had one or two by now, too. If you were ready, I was leaning toward telling him I want to go off birth control. Not so much trying though, as seeing what happens. We tried before, and when the tests were negative or my period started, both of us were frustrated. I want kids with you, but know I have to be realistic, and as much as I don’t want to think about, it may not happen.”

Dean stood up and was walking around the fire pit, instead of working the flames to keep the fire going, he let it continue to fade. He walked back to stand in front of you before speaking again. “Valid points Mrs. Winchester. How about we will see what happens but not, not try either, just more relaxed than last time. No tracking ovulation, No matter the outcome, we are in it together.” Dean grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the swing, then suddenly picked you up and tossed you over his shoulder heading for the house. “On that note, I think we should practice not trying, Sweetheart.”

Part 3

#supernatural #dean x reader #dean winchester

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