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gibbearish · 11 months ago

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wanted to throw my hat into the ring specifically in regards to james responding to the bigotry claims bc i havent seen anyone address the aspects i wanna talk abt in full yet, it kinda got long as fuck for a p short excerpt so putting it under a readmore

so here's the section (text from @storagebay29 's v helpful transcript):

"I never ever intended to hurt anybody. I never thought that that's what I was doing. Before I went- before I went to the hospital,¹ I read a lot of stuff from people who were really hurt, not just authors and stuff but people who watched my videos who were hurt by stuff in them. People think that I hate ace people and women and bisexual people and lesbians and that's not true. It's really- it's just- it’s not true. And I’m sorry that stuff made it into videos² that just shouldn’t have been there: misinformation and lies... But I promise you I did not write that stuff.³

I should have been a lot more exacting when Nick and I would be editing scripts but I promise you that those are not- I don't think those things.⁴ I specifically want to apologise to asexual people who feel⁵ that I just completed delegitimised you. Nick being ace, I- I know that it's kinda like you know, no two gay people are exactly the same, no two ace people are exactly the same, but I kind of, when it came to that I just kind of ran with Nick's judgement⁶ and his observations and stuff like that. And I’m not trying to throw Nick under the bus,⁷ which a bunch of people are saying that I was setting him up as doing, which is not true…"

so! let's break this down

¹ "Before I went- before I went to the hospital" - firstly i want to be clear of my position with the "did he actually attempt" question bc ive seen some people being absolutely vile already, which is that while i understand doubting his story considering his history of lying and manipulation and obviously skewed moral compass, i also feel like it is VERY much plausible enough that publically speculating abt whether it's true or not is shitty, especially telling HIM you think he's lying. best case scenario you're right, worst case scenario you're crossing a hell of a line, and he's obviously done enough stuff that the situation can be addressed pretty comprehensively without risking getting that coin flip wrong. i think we should proceed under the assumption that lying about that is one line he wouldn't cross, and if proof comes along that he was lying then obviously fuck him, but otherwise i think that aspect should be off limits. and having said all that, even under the assumption he is telling the truth, the way he brings it up in this apology is still manipulative, as many have already pointed out, and this is an excellent example. by bringing it up right before addressing his bigotry, he a) implies to the audience that these comments in particular are a notable part of what sent him there, and therefore plants the idea that if they continue to address it while knowing how badly it's already affecting him, they'd be deliberately trying to hurt him or push him to attempt again, and b) tries to distract the audience from the fact that he's addressing his bigotry and get them to go easy on him, since clearly he's already punished himself over it enough. but harming yourself does not actually make up for harm caused to others, and even if it did, unlearning the bigotry that caused the harm in the first place doesnt end at "feel really bad about it," that's actually step one. and as i'm sure you're already aware and i'll get into more in points 4 and 5, whether he's even at step one yet is doubtful!

² "And I’m sorry that stuff made it into videos" - others have covered his passive voice the whole way through so i won't dwell too long beyond pointing it out, it's mostly just highlighted here bc of how it ties into the next point

³ "But I promise you I did not write that stuff." - just, beautiful in so many ways. performance art, even. firstly, the fact that one of the closest places he comes to calling it plagiarism is in defense against a second allegation? just lmao. and secondly, this is about the most solid proof you could get that he indeed did not watch hbomberguy's video (or at least the whole thing) because hbomb very conclusively showed that if there are /any/ original thoughts of James' in his scripts, it is the bigotry, because he showed multiple examples of James /specifically/ rewording things he plagiarized to ADD IN the bigotry. so then tying back to point 2, his passive voice then becomes about ten times funnier here because he was just. blissfully unaware we all already knew exactly how it "made it into" the script and that his next statement would be a lie. just incredible

⁴ "I don't think those things." - notice the lack of specificity here, the most he can say is "people think i hate these groups" and "i don't think those things" and not "this is exactly what i said that was harmful, here's how it was harmful, here's the correct version of it, and here's how to avoid similar pitfalls in the future", yknow, like what people do when they actually accidentally say bigoted things bc they don't know any better? and again this point ties into the next one:

⁵ "I specifically want to apologise to asexual people who feel that I just completed delegitimised you." - ah yes, nothing says apology like "i'm sorry you felt like what i said was hurtful," where the message is less "i did something wrong and hurt you, i regret this and want to fix it," and more "you were too sensitive and got your feelings hurt by something i didn't intend to be hurtful, but i GUESS i'll be the bigger person and say sorry even though i didn't actually do anything wrong🙄". and see again 4, if he actually had looked into it and learned why it was wrong, he wouldn't be saying people "felt" delegitimised. he would be explaining why people reacted that way ie what it was a reaction to, why this reaction was correct, and providing actual information about asexual people. but he doesnt, because he didnt, because he doesnt care. which is all ESPECIALLY fucked because in saying it this way he's. delegitimising what they were saying. like some kind of fuckin aphobia ouroboros

⁶ "when it came to that I just kind of ran with Nick's judgement" + ⁷ "And I’m not trying to throw Nick under the bus" - here we are, the crown jewels. so obviously ppl are already talking abt the performative allyship of "but my best friend is minority and they said it was fine!!1!" which is fucked up on its own, but then the fact that he immediately jumps to "and also i'm not throwing nick under the bus" shows us that within the greater context, point 6 did indeed mean "the bigotry in the scripts that i am currently apologizing for and explaining the presence of in this section is there because i repeated the things nick told me were true, these ideas originate from him." aka blame nick, not me. but then he remembered that scapegoating nick is also something people are accusing him of so he had to backtrack over it, which if it was actually an innocent statement, it yknow. wouldn't need to be backtracked over? it's like he thinks just because he doesn't outright say "nick has bigoted ideas that i parroted so basically its his fault" that no one can pick up on the subtext? and frankly i don't know much about nick (or james beyond this whole thing tbf so obv take everything i say with the whole shaker of salt) so this very well could be the truth to a degree, but if nick does hold bigoted views too, that's TOO. not instead. for james to repeat them without question to the camera means he doesn't disagree. even if hbomb hadn't proven the bigotry did originate from him, it would still be meaningless, because if it came from nick then that would just mean james decided to stay close working friends with a shitbag and repeat all of his garbage to his fans uncritically!

so in summary, in just this one chunk he: reminds you to be extra niceys to him because hes delicate right now, immediately lies about where the bigotry came from, talks around what he actually said wrong or that he was in the drivers seat for it, then blames nick for it before hearing himself say it out loud reminds him people are picking up on that now too and has to walk it back.

to spoof the roblox oof video: when we look at the sum collective of all of his claims regarding his bigotry, and we put it in context with. the fucking everything about him. when james says the bigotry didn't come from him, this might just be me. but I don't believe him!

#james somerton #i shouldve gone to bed like an hour ago cause ive got a doctors appointment tomorrow but my sleep schedules fucked #so instead this happens #hbomberguy #tw suicide attempt #tw suicide attempt mention #also to be fair hbomb only proved the bigotry /often/ came from him and specifically misogyny #but again given the everything of it . lol. lmao even.

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omi-papus · 1 year ago

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Im starting to genuenly dislike a certain subset of fanfiction readers because you can tell that they took the attitude of defending the creative and artistic merit of fanfiction, and twisted it into demanding profesional level quality from unpaid, usually young or underage authors and will bitch incesantly about how “non of the fics are good” when most of them are and even the meh to bad ones are a lot of fun. Like I love that we are respecting the incredible craftsmenship of some authors but you have failed as a fanfic reader when you stop viewing it as a comunity of similar people all taking a crack at some concepts and having fun and giving eachother feedback, to “Give me free bestseller novels, and if I see a spelling error you are a failure” in a space that is built to be safe to fail in. Especially when it starts then becoming about “acuracy” to the source material and internal logic of canon. And essentially judging fanfics as if they where oficial material made by profesionals.

Thats one thing I really did like about wattpad sometimes, is that nobody really gave a shit about minor quality checks, like if the only dialogue tag you ever used was “said” didnt matter at all as long as your plot was fun and went in a satisfying direction. (Spanish speaking fandoms had this on mass it was lit)

Like obviously you dont have to read every fic you see, I see emojis in the text and know its most likely not going to be fun and I drop it quite quickly after that. But like bruh Ive powered through that pet peeve because some of those fics turn out to be batshit insane and its the most entretaining thing Ive ever read.

That and 9 times out of 10, the people that have these expectations are readers that have never tried to write anything, and just become entittled because they have never actually participated in the fanfic space. And also a symptom of being in masive fandoms where they have a billion fics and can get supper picky and then decide that those types of fics are the only ones that should exist.

Ive seen, some of you fuckers bitch about second person POV when Y/N has built this nation and you need to respect her.

If I see another video thats like “When you find a completed long fic with the exact pairing, plot and tags you want… but it uses Italics to emphasize words🤮” Girl I will sell you to One direction myself if you dont stop talking shit.

#fanfiction #fandom #AO3 #wattpad #writing

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homestuckexamination · 9 months ago

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okay, you do homestuck, right? ive got this project idea in the works. basically, its homestuck, but thematically inverted. i havent actually finished homestuck, but I made it a long way in, to around Dirk's Derse Coup. i have some questions if you dont mind.

first of all, ive observed thus far that Homestuck id about discarding yourself. characters gradually lose defining traits and get closer to the platonic ideals of their classpects. strife specibi seem to represent that which ails our heroes. to become a god, you must sacrifice your earthly waking body on a magic bed, succumbing to an endless sleep to live forever within a dream. for my version, I wanted to do the opposite, having characters become more of themselves instead of less, and kill their dreamselves to truly "wake up," but first i need to know if these observations are actually valid if you read the whole story, and more generally, how valid is this idea?

any help would be appreciated, thanks!

Now let me preface this by saying: You can do anything at all. You're not restricted by anything other than your own creativity, and largely speaking, so long as you think it's cool/works, any approach is valid. Similarly, Death of the Authro, yadda yadda, there's all manner of divergent readings on a text. So anything regarding personal projects is really largely up to the taste of the author.

That being said, if you're asking me on my take on this theme in the text of Homestuck, I'd say that while you've definitely noticed one of the Big Themes of Homestuck, I'd argue the way Homestuck goes about it is the inverse- Taking the 'Platonic Ideal' of a character, while some characters that achieve Ultimate Self status are in fact better off, namely the Sprites or those sidelined in some way, the loss of self that comes with it is largely showcased as a Bad Thing in the instance of those who already were more important/relevant to the main cast. Even then, and while intrinsically tied to their Classpect, the characters still have their own particular spins on the Classpects- A Classpect is too broad a concept to have a singular 'Platonic Ideal', just as often times the Platonic Ideal of their character can contain contradictions in the 'whole' of their existence!

Homestuck is, first and foremost, a Coming of Age story about Teens growing up into Adulthood, with all the pain, trauma and baggage of carrying the legacy of their world, and their families, on their shoulders, in one way or another. SBURB wants the characters to go through an Arc, develop, and become worthy gods, but as we see time and time again, this is not always necessarily in a character's best interest, and the idea of the Self, what makes you You, if you're still You as time passes, as your body changes, as you become something metaphysically completely detached from what you used to be, and how this affects your interpersonal relationships and your relationship to the world around you, is far more complex than simply 'discarding traits to become closer to your Classpect's Platonic Ideal'.

You succumb to sleep in the Quest Bed, but simultaneously, you do wake up as your Dream Self. Whether you take this as being taken by this Platonic Dream, or truly Waking Up to the true nature of your existence, that's a matter of taste and views. Likewise, this doesn't make the characters that didn't God Tier or die and become their Dream Self any less likely to undergo changes to their Self and 'wake up' in their own right.

It's a complex story! It tackles a lot of themes of the self, agency, growing up and the like, and that is always messy. Some are happier becoming something else. Some cling to what they were. Some were always hiding what they truly were. Some are still figuring out. And that's fine. The metaphysics of SBURB are a device to explore the different ways all of this affects the characters! So the most important thing I'd say is less the validity of the observation in regards to an Inverted Version of Homestuck based on your views, and more:

How would this scenario affect the characters differently, and what new hurdles/feelings/predicaments would this create in their development and the story?

#Homestuck #HSE #Dream Self #Class #Aspect #Prospit #Derse

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rawmeknockout · 2 months ago

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i have some thoughts about degrees of lewdity but this isn’t a review these are just my opinions and observations

i want to preface this by saying, although i like text based smut games, im not some connoisseur and i haven’t played that many. really my deepest exposure is fenoxo’s games and maybe a handful of others i haven’t played in a while.

so i totally went in blind, i have seen the names of characters floating around and ive read a fic or two about it on here if the set up or summary piqued my interest, but i already had some preconceived idea of what it was about and the general set up (i ended up so wrong lmao) so i didn’t bother looking up anything about it because i was fairly certain i knew it was about your player being in college and interacting with the town or whatever

i had the view it was like friday night funkin??? not in gameplay or story but like that generally it has a lot of hype around it and a pretty voracious community (i was already aware of mods for the game so i think that also made me think of fnf which also has a lot of mods) and that most of the appeal is the hype built up around the game. not saying that’s bad but that was my general idea/opinion of it idk why lmao

i was kind of white man jumpscared by the actual contents of the game. i didn’t find any of it triggering necessarily but i didn’t expect it to lean so hard into certain fetishes. im pretty desensitized to a lot of hardcore kinks in smut so it wasn’t a deal breaker for me bc i was still interested in checking out the game, and there’s options in the default game to turn off certain interactions, but i definitely think people should look up the trigger warnings for the game first and not just jump into it blind like i did. i had a totally different idea of the game so i didnt even think i needed to look up what it involved.

in my brief experiences of the game through the fandom, i imagined it as a college student in a sex game sorta akin to things put out by fenoxo now, but it’s more like the first Corruption of Champions (which you can only find through an internet archive these days probably because of the contents of the game idk if fenoxo has disavowed it or whatever but they’ve certainly left that project i believe because they also have a patreon that they rely on)

your character is a high schooler and i believe it’s mentioned they just turned 18? there’s a disclaimer that all characters are 18+ but i don’t think it’s ever mentioned in game or if it is its like a passing thing. not that like,, ages are ever heavily mentioned in any media but i know there are some people who would like it explicitly stated. in my opinion, going into any 18+ game, i just expect all characters to be 18+. id prefer them even older than that but ive never come across a game where i was jumpscared by a minor.

i think it’s set in a high school because that gives stricter penalties and set ups for consequences? if your in college and you skip class no one’s gonna hold it against you because you’re paying to skip school lol that’s the penalty. also high school tends to be a pretty traditional set up for a game it gives the creator the opportunity to involve a learning mechanic and sets a place for interactions and a structured time table for most of the week. another function is that, as a porn game, some people are in to being barely legal and an object of sexualization because of that. the game leans heavily on having authorities outside of the players control because as it turns out the whole town is essentially hell. we are straight up in the devils asshole right now and we don’t even know it.

one of the most stressful things going in on the first game is the need to make money, you owe money to the orphanage caretaker and you need it by the end of the week every week and this mechanic does NOT go away. it increases until it caps out at £2000. the game is in britain? so you know you’re in for a bad time.

the game is pretty hard going in i’m not gonna lie maybe im just a filthy casual when it comes to smut games but i found the penalties for repeated encounters, which are hard to escape from, racked up quickly. i was playing on normal but there is a soft mode, but i personally just wanted the regular experience of the game. i get that it’s realistic, in a sense, to have trauma and stress pile up quickly but if you let it get out of hand you get sent to the asylum!!! which is not much better!!! and when you get out you still owe money to Bailey when you haven’t been able to work 😭 very real very landlord

after playing the default game for a little bit i quickly searched for a better looking mod. part of the appeal of the game is the customizable character. i am fine with a gaia looking avatar but i just prefer the Bees mod avatar. i believe its one of the more popular mods but other than that i haven’t looked for any other, partly because i play in browser. i dont really like to download games if i can help it bc i play on ipad while im scrunched up in bed like a cozy shrimp.

my favorite named NPC is Sydney, followed by Avery. Avery gives you and has old man dick so im weak. Sydney, i haven’t played all of his content because i don’t want to lower his purity 😔 i know a lot of his content is locked behind that but he’s so sweet and cute i don’t want to. i will probably eventually. Sydney is your one bastion of normal interaction (other than Robin and even that isn’t true for long) in a sea of fucked up. Sydney also is a member of a cult. 😀 a cult that you can get involved in at your own risk. don’t do it.

the worst is probably Kylar. at least with high combat you can take care of Whitney, with Kylar he’s just a freak. he’s cute in some instances but in others he’s unbearable. he can also kidnap you and apply the stockholm syndrome status effect. 🤨

i generally, through every game i play, do the typical ‘good guy’ route. even in a game i have a hard time escaping the socially acceptable response and not doing the ‘right’ thing. this is true when i play COC or Trials in Tainted Space or really any game any genre. i’ll probably explore other routes but i wont be happy about it. idk i like to play good guy i like to be nice. my combat skills built up quick as a result because you will get into so many assault encounters but i think thats true regardless.

btw don’t bother with any other job unless you want to do sex work, just work the temp agency the entire week. it’s closed on weekends but it’s the most reliable source of money imo and doesn’t have a strict time table other than opening and closing. you can just go in and work whenever. if you get the boss to like you he’ll give you a bonus too.

i ended up looking for info on certain features and stories of the game which led me to reddit, as searches often do, and i inadvertently found out more info about that game AND the creator which dampened my idea of the game, but not necessarily in the way you would think. while i am generally enjoying playing, although it can be difficult bc it relies a lot on combat in interactions and you don’t like get to fight in a traditional sense (it can be hard to tell how ‘strong’ your character is i guess? lmao), i found out that despite the actual hardcore contents of the game, that include trafficking, there is no abortion feature. which is so funny to type out. however the creator has made it abundantly clear there will never be an abortion feature?? which okay i just have to say that’s a wild feature to have in game anyway but it makes sense!!!! because it’s a porn game where your character can get pregnant!!! but if you use the cheats version that is available in the options, you can delete a pregnancy HOWEVER it makes it very clear in the text accompanying the cheat that “this is not an abortion, this is a cheat”

look, deciding to add that is, in itself, betraying a sort of political stance no matter how much you wish to avoid it. i’ve heard through others that the creator wants to convey the actual trauma of SA, which obviously can include carrying a pregnancy you don’t want, however having an abortion you don’t want is also traumatic??? as someone with a vagina, living in a place where i cannot do as i wish with that vagina, it left me with a feeling of distaste towards the creator and the game. in a game where your creator can get SA’d BACK TO BACK you cannot then deal with the potential outcome of that??? you just have to like carry it if you don’t use the cheat version? it’s easy enough to access but the text accompanying it is blatant.

i believe that this is because the creator relies on donations on their website and because of the contents of the game they aren’t allowed to have a patreon (but don’t quote me on that because i haven’t checked the main site all i know is that certain games have had to change their contents bc patreon wouldn’t allow them to continue functioning on their site as is) which i am sympathetic to, however uuuh making a statement next to your cheat is in itself a way of signaling politics. in my opinion. as someone this actually affects. lol.

i think the creator has made a statement regarding some of the interactions as people in costume? maybe to like give plausible deniability? but like,,, the game is what it is because you made it that i would just lean in to it. they might have a hard time tho finding somewhere to platform their game or gather donations because of that, so i dont think its the weirdest thing for them to deny the contents of their game as how they appear. im sorta just shrug at this moment, i would prefer someone to just take their creation as it is but its probably more to do with the rules and stipulations of places like paypal and certain domains. i wouldn’t know. i dont mean to come off judgmental or like this is some horrible transgression, i get that collecting money online is a hassle if your main source is a smut game and i have no experience doing that so again shrug. if its what they have to do its what they have to do. again i think its like COC where its almost been wiped from the internet and remade into COC2 by the creators, and even then they’ve had to change some of the contents because patreon and paypal are pretty stringent about their rules.

i’ve skipped a lot of the contents of the game because first i think tumblr would nuke me from orbit but also a lot of it is genuinely very dark and triggering. this is not a game you should jump into without looking up the setting and gameplay prior. you should most definitely at least look through the advanced options before starting the game and look at each option you can toggle on and off because it will give you a better idea of what you’re in for.

#txt

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thatneoncrisis · 4 months ago

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i really do see the point you're making. but like if your issue really is how so much of it feels like caricature, then write what you want to see? now theres the mectric ton of cliched fantasy that is just fun for some plus your deconstructed version of that cliche that gets misconstrued for trans panic (if it was clear it wasn't supposed to be like trans panic the long authors note wouldnt be necessary). not telling you what to do but had you written the more realistic depiction for trans women, those who are rightfully put off by the cliche have something to read and those who identify with the unrealistic fantasy version for enjoyment dont feel shamed for it.

fair of you to tell me to fuck off too after writing all of this nonsense but genuinely i would read what you could've written. the apartment fic and the pash/alecto fic i do like.

the authors note was like. about the entire fic itself not just the dick thing. and then on top of that harrow reaction was again. again. AGAIN. about how it looked. like i feel like a lot of people have glanced over the fact they are both trans in the fic and its alluded too earlier. maybe i should have harrow Also take her dick out

i dont want to tell you to fuck off you. know you. youre on anon. im talking at a brick wall. i feel like youre putting a lot of assumptions about how i think you, personally, are the thing ruining everything forever. and not like a fic of yours meeting the criteria for what im frustrated with intentionally or not. i would love to talk with you further i am not mad! my tone is incredibly restricted by being a large wall of text as i assume yours is!

like i am baffled by how many people are telling me over and over that theyve never read my work. and then telling me what to write. ive been writing what i want to see for a year and a half. i write a modern au how i want, a houseswap how i want, a mentally ill harrow how i want, transfem sex how i want. and while a lot of people like wat i write, very few write it themselves. THAT is what i am frustrated with. i only felt even marginally comfortable doing this because i have one of the longest fics in the entire tag under my belt. that by no means makes it near the best but i am on ao3 a Lot just by virtue of how often i upload

i dont want to do this again, i dont want people assuming i want to do this again, but it exists and i cant stop either side from saying what they want to say about it. some things could have been clearer but some people are WILLFULLY misinterpreting me because i dont like their particular brand of fic. i actually went back and altered some slight things in the latest chapter as like. an acknowledgement that these kinds of works do make people happy and thats the sole reason hey do and should exist. i know my fics get long-winded and morose and depressing and trapped by my own adherence to canon, that was the POINT of chapter five. they cant have fun anymore theyre thinking too hard about it now, they cant go back to living simple lives in a world where they know what college and dyke bars are.

the execution was mean and i know im mean and this is the only time im gonna do this because my meanness was trapped in a little shaken soda bottle because i take writing too seriously. like thats it

#asks #Anonymous

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nerves-nebula · 11 months ago

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Sorry just saw a post saying you do actually DO get taught media literacy and critical thinking in English classes and I was homeschooled until high school, but Ive also been to three different high schools across two states of america- which isn’t a lot but is more than most people get (assuming that most people go to one high school for four years instead of switching schools every year) and let me tell you. The English teachers almost always had the same problem. And I generally liked them all! English wasn’t a class I super hated!!!

Even my favorite English teachers didn’t really end up fostering a love of reading into the material or actually critically thinking about stuff.

What they all liked to do was talk about and lead you into THEIR interpretation to the point of basically dismissing any other readings. At best you’d get a “that’s a good point too, but I was thinking of something else” and at worst they’d basically just dismiss it with a clear lack of interest. As if you didn’t “get the point” for focusing on something else.

I remember this because there were a lot of times when I was bursting to talk about the parallels id drawn of the assignment to my personal experiences but I was too embarrassed or afraid or annoyed to because the few times i or anyone else tried to speak up the teachers were basically uninterested unless you hit on the specific reading they were obsessed with. At which point they’d talk at length about symbolism and stuff that, while interesting to me, was also hella annoying!!

My English classes made me afraid to get into academia because they all made it seem like there were one or two proper ways to read a story and if you didn’t immediately come to one of those conclusions then you’d be treated like you were stupid or hadn’t actually read the text.

This post also claimed that English classes teach you how to spot misinformation ???? The only thing even close to that would be history classes where we would sometimes discuss propaganda. Most of English class is reading assigned literature and then painfully sitting through the teacher trying to lead us into their interpretation. And sometimes you get to write things.

At MOST you’re gonna get the teacher telling you that something an author says is incorrect or a lie or that they’re biased but you don’t usually practice how to spot misinformation when you’re not prepped to find it.

I gained more critical thinking skills from being annoyed by the teachers readings and tearing them apart in my head than I did from any actual assignments. But that’s because I already cared about stories! So i wouldn’t have even had that if I didn’t already have some kind of interest in the classes subject matter!

Does all this stuff you’re supposedly taught in English class happen before high school?? What schools are you guys going to because from my experienced, American high school English classes (like a lot of classes) don’t really teach you shit unless you’re already interested in the subject.

I also think it’s pretty useless and mean spirited to imply people who didn’t learn that stuff were just idiots who didn’t pay attention. It’d be way more helpful to encourage people to want to learn stuff after school ends!! Not just because learning is fun but also because I feel like a lot of people see learning as something you can only do in schools & such and don’t see all the opportunities for self improvement past that!

Sorry I have no idea why a single one paragraph post bothered me so much, I think it’s cuz it’s past 10 pm 😭😭😭 so slightly annoying things lead to entire damn rants. I don’t even know if they were talking about American education I just was suddenly flooded with a ton of memories and barfed them out here.

#nnstuff #rambling #sorry look I get the urge to push back on the idea that school is useless #but what are you guys talking about #school #I LOVE STORIES THEYRE ALL I WANT TO TALK ABOUT #that’s why English clsss was so damn annoying #it was so close to being what I wanted 😭😭😭#I think there was like one or two actual discussions that felt like people really got their ideas out #and even then I remember the interjections of the teachers kind of dampening things #anyway this doesn’t super matter #hence why I’m vaguing it instead of arguing with op

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suffersinfandom · 11 months ago

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A Summary of The OFMD Meta (Part IV)

This is part four of an incomplete summary of A Meta-Discussion Of The Subtext by meratrishoslee (Mera) on AO3 (linked to, as the author requests). I’m trying to stay impartial and present the content fairly and with context. Like, I started reading this 140K beast after I saw a wild screencap and thought, "Surely there's context that makes this make sense," so I do want to provide at least that much.

This part includes interviews and a response to one of the “concern trolls that couldn't quite manage to wipe the foamy froth from their mouths long enough to keep it from dripping on their keyboards.”

No more chapter numbers because they keep being reordered.

Other posts Part I Part II Part III

Chapter The Vanity Fair Article - A Wondrous Fuckery

Here’s the article that chapter is about.

Mera suspects that the interview happened via text, giving David Jenkins time to sort out what he was going to say. They note that they’re “going on vibes and subtext, which is really more [their] wheelhouse.” You’re welcome to disagree with them.

“First off, I was trained in the House of Moftiss/BBC Sherlock fandom, where we just assumed that every word the showrunners spoke in an interview or on social media was a shameless distortion at best, and an outright lie at worst -- so that's where my mind goes first. [...] Having said that... so much of the Vanity Fair interview is an actual gift. You do have to cherrypick somewhat... but again, DJenks just released an episode with a major character death. He can't go back and reverse himself and suggest on any textual level that the death was less than permanent.”

VF mentions the happy endings in the finale, and Jenkins says, same-sex relationships end on a dour, downbeat note, where one of them dies and it’s unrequited or it’s unrealized; something horrible happens and they’re punished in a way.

“That's not a happy ending -- and that's exactly what you apparently fucking did with a central character. Gosh, how weird of you to bring it up here. So why? Is it... is it something you left open for a third season? That the horrible death of an unrequited love isn't what it appears?”

Jenkins says that Izzy is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure. Mera says that “this is the closest he gets to queerbaiting us” because Izzy is definitely not Ed’s father figure.

“Notice we are still given the subtext here: mostly dead is slightly alive, and "kind of a father figure" feels like a limp gesture in the direction of explanation. The rest of it... if you feel insulted on Con's behalf, that Izzy Hands was reduced to an old dog being put down at the vet's office here ("beautiful arc", "does a lot of things", "it's time", "full meal" -- god, a day at the dog park and a last fucking supper with cheeseburgers and pie and all the human food he never got to have otherwise she says sarcastically) -- YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO.”

Jenkins keeps mentioning “magic, love, turning, losing, changing, rebirth, resurrection, present tense about Izzy Hands, ghosts/life after death, or anything of those flavors.” He is “legitimizing repetition” in order “to prime your mind to see the subtext. You can only look for something if you know what it looks like: he is giving you the key to the season.”

Jenkins reminds us that “he was not a straight white guy alone in that writers room, and he's telling you the story worked for everyone in that room of all queerness/genders.”

“And then he brings our head back around and goes ‘hey, look at Izzy again. It's almost like he's the key to everything. Hey, look at me using present tense on a character that's supposed to be dead and gone which would be past tense. God I love Con O'Neill, and I need you to hear that in every single interview I ever give EVER. His character IS a joy to write.’”

Mera mentions all of the “subtextual queer references and coding” put into Izzy. “You don't create a Queer Avatar by fucking accident. And these professionals certainly did not.”

Mera encourages their readers to read the Q&A that wraps the article “with the mindset that we will have an S3 where a queer self-sacrificing man rises from the dead in a damn near explicit Christ metaphor and our Izzy Hands is safe and whole and loved.”

“The Vanity Fair interview, as far as I'm concerned, is not some painful/cruel gloat. It is a subtextual love letter back to the fans, published just in time to be ready to soothe our hurting hearts -- if we know how to parse it.”

Chapter "Who Do Ya Trust If You Can't Trust God?"

“I'm finding myself tired at being the point of the spear. No one prepared me for how exhausting it is to be among the first to realize a massive truth.”

This chapter is about coping with fandom and contains some solid advice: “The block button is our friend. The unfollow button is our friend. The mute option is our friend. If someone's relentless negativity hurts your feelings or drags you down, mute/unfollow/block them as needed.”

But then:

“I choose to believe my daily-growing mountain of evidence that Izzy Hands is alive and that the writers intend that he be hollered home from the gravy basket.

“Furthermore? If I can be painfully real for a minute? I am amazed at the trust the writers have given us.

“Because we the Unseen Crew have been put into the position of Izzy's future lover -- to be to Izzy what Stede was to Ed. We are called on for our audience participation now, to hold his hand and beg his return -- not for a minute, an hour, or a day... but potentially for the next several months, over a year or more, until we get Season 3.

“I do tend to have this fatal flaw of wanting to uphold others' trust in me, and to be loyal to those who show loyalty in return.”

Mera reminds us that her word is not canon. She isn’t affiliated with the show and is just trying to provide hope and positivity.

“Even though I often will get tired... I am determined to stay positive. When I can't say something nice, I close the window or the app and say nothing at all. You will find me on my social media being as unrelentingly kind as I know how to be.”

Next: interviews and what we can take from them. “Interviews have exactly two purposes: pocket money for the subject of said interview, and promotion for the show. I was trained to never fully trust what is said in interviews.” Engagement and getting people clicking is more important than imparting useful and truthful information, and nothing engages people like anger.

That’s how we get the early “interviews that are half touching and half enraging, with seriously tone-deaf seeming self-conflicting statements from the writers/showrunners [...]. We can trust that if the interviews are live/verbal, they'll be more irritating rather than less. The showrunners would much rather say too little or say something wrong than give away something too big or too true accidentally, and in the pressure of the moment they will fall back on phrases they've memorized as safe to use.”

Don’t trust that interviews are telling you the truth (but they might be saying something truth-adjacent).

Mera has doubts about Jenkins telling O’Neill about Izzy’s death mid-season. She doesn’t think that Jenkins is that stupid. “It's not too far a stretch to think that this "mid-season" conversation occurred in the middle of filming the first season, and all DJenks is prevaricating about is the timing thereof.”

Jenkins realized mid season one that Con is an amazing actor, so he takes him out for dinner and says, “Next season I want to kill Izzy 3 times. The first time will be Stede's dream sequence, and the next two will be actual Passion Plays, because we're setting Izzy up to be Jesus and Westley from The Princess Bride and Han Solo from Star Wars.”

“And Con takes up the challenge of being coded as an OVERT Queer Messiah (with an additional layer of subtextual HIV/AIDS)... because of course he does. Of course he fucking does. If he can pull it off -- and if anyone can, it's him -- it's the role of a fucking lifetime. It's a role for history books and media studies for the next fifty or one hundred years.

“Doesn't that sound a bit more likely? Doesn't that sound a bit more real?”

Mera predicts that interviews and articles will start publishing ideas about Izzy still being alive, and talking about how weird and off the end of season two was. Everyone involved with the show, after all, will “know we inspect every frame and every pixel of every BTS and teaser they release,” so they’ll feed us enough to keep us guessing at the truth.

“Here is my promise to you: if/when I'm wrong about any of this, I will edit this chapter only to admit I was wrong and when and how. I will not remove my evidence. I am comfortable being wrong. If I was never wrong, I would never have tried and failed and learned from my failures!”

Chapter Until You Come Full Circle

This chapter is about interviews. “We’ve had, just in the last week, two very sweet and classy interviews with Con (which I did predict, although that was about as safe as saying the sun would rise in the east this morning) – and one that seemed… less so, with Taika.”

First interview with Con.

Con says to trust David Jenkins, which immediately makes Mera think of Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. “Now. Am I delulu, as the kids are calling it these days, suggesting that Con might intentionally be throwing some religious vibes at us?”

Con is also “earnest and intense” in his praise of OFMD’s writing. This is a good sign; that means he thinks the show is written well, and that’s further evidence that Izzy will be back.

Second interview with Con.

Con “seems to me to be very reluctant to outright lie, which is awesome for a meta writer and squares with my experience of him. Lying is easy in the moment and difficult in the future – a person has to remember what lies they’ve told in order to remain sufficiently consistent in their stories. It takes more skill to tell just enough of the truth that it's both vague in the moment but pays off later.” This makes interviews with him extra valuable.

A short analysis of one of his quotes: “Everything Izzy is in Season 2 was there in Season 1, only understated and repressed. According to the actor who played him: he didn’t change who he was. Izzy just got safe enough to let what was inside him out to where others could see it too.”

One of Con’s quotes backs up Mera’s Sacred Heart meta, namely the part about Izzy trying to serve the crew that loves him.

Now a Taika interview.

This interview bolsters Mera’s idea of Ed as Judas.

From the article: When Consequence asks writer/director/actor Taika Waititi if he’s feeling optimistic about a third season of Our Flag Means Death, his initial response is this: “Have you seen the end?”

“I think we can safely assume that Taika’s not asking the interviewer if he’s literally seen the last episode of Season 2. This feels to me like the blunt, sardonic, dry humor Taika’s evinced (and occasionally gotten into trouble over) during other interviews, aimed at the word ‘optimistic.’ ‘Have you seen the end? How optimistic did you think it was?’”

It’s not an optimistic ending. The interview mentions the inn’s renovations, but we don’t see anyone doing any renovating. Ed and Stede don’t even have food as the Revenge sails away.

From the article: For Waititi, though, the Season 2 finale “feels like a natural end to their story. Just because I feel like, you know, they’ve been through so much and then wind up in that nice place at a happy ending.”

What nice place? What happy ending?

From the article: Waititi says, though, that “I don’t want it to feel like Rambo III suddenly, you know, when you’re like, ‘Oh man, they have to leave their idyllic life again.'”

“Okay, everything else was fucky as fuck… but that feels wrong enough to be a lighthouse.” So Mera went and watched Rambo III, which is more relevant than she expected.

Rambo’s “idyllic” life isn’t that great. “We don’t see an emotional, human connection. We see a white guy who’s on tolerance in a place he doesn’t really belong, separated by a language he doesn’t fluently speak. We see a man tormenting himself with boredom and isolation.”

“When you look at John Rambo through most of this movie, you see a pretty good correlation to Edward at the start of the last episode of OFMD S2: on tolerance in a place that’s not truly his home, trying to fit a life and do a job he’s not suited to… and he gives it up without another thought because a man he cares about is in danger.” A hint to season three?

Chapter My Ridiculous Obsession With Love

In this chapter, Mera addresses one of her “haters.”

For anyone who forgot the thesis of this meta: “The overarching hypothesis I'm building in this meta-discussion is that Izzy's death was more serious because HIV/AIDS and queer grief is serious. He had to go into the grave and take the full journey of the passion play to be able to leave it behind him, and to re-emerge as someone that can touch, kiss, and love again.”

Commenter: “None of that makes this a definitive interpretation, or one that the creative team can reasonably be held responsible for.”

Mera: “... yes? Okay, sure? (Dear non-haters: just picture that John Travolta confusion gif again, because if I threw it in here every time I rammed up against an example of begging the question in this comment, there'd be like 30 of them and we'd all get tired of them.)”

Commenter: “The crew hold back because Ed is the person Izzy dedicated his life to and has not yet fully reconciled with- they're giving him space to sort things with Ed so he can go in peace. Etc etc.”

Mera: “I see a rapid parade of images and sounds. "He's a dick, but he's our dick." Jim snarling "He was your friend" up into their captain's face, even though they know for a fact that could get them killed. The crew make the unicorn's leg for him together but they leave it at his door because they know he can't (yet) let himself accept it if anyone's watching: what an incredibly emotionally intelligent maneuver. The easy way that we see Jim and Lucius and Frenchie and Fang interact with Izzy in later eps-- all touching him or letting him lean on him, just never skin to skin. The way that we see Izzy go into Wee John's arms and stay held there for a while as he commits the incredibly vulnerable act of singing for them. The way that Izzy lays his hand on Stede's knee while they're talking at Jackie's bar, and there's no real animosity from them on either side then.

“So I'll give you this one, 100%. I can't say that you're wrong or prove it in any way. Your reading is absolutely as valid as mine, no more and no less.”

Commenter: “Isn't it heavily implied that people touch him with bare hands while dealing with his leg? And if he is coded as having AIDS and being untouchable, why would the crew be so willing to dive in and get covered in his blood when they treat his leg, especially when they're also scraped up at the time?”

Mera: “I haven't had a chance to write up this meta yet, but in a nutshell: we see Jim and Archie amputate his leg (with their hands pressed together in visual union atop it). They're covered in blood and this is one of the least realistic depictions of a survivable amputation attempt in media ever, frankly... and yet Izzy lives through it! [...]

“Notably we do NOT see Fang cleaning up. I need to go back and verify, but I'm like 99% sure.

“Why? Is Fang lazy or unhelpful? No, I'd say two reasons. One, he's paralyzed with grief (and the men in this show are so emotional, as Auntie rightfully notes). But two, certain classifications of men were more susceptible to Izzy's subtextual disease. [...]

“I think it's a direct subtextual sign post to the part that lesbians/wlw/AFAB people had to play in the care of queer men dying of AIDS. [...] Jim won't catch Izzy's subtextual HIV/AIDS, ever. Jim's hands heal and comfort, with both Izzy and Auntie -- repetition (usually) legitimizes, as I've said elsewhere.”

Commenter: “...while I know I have no control over this... it's alarming to see other commenters accepting this elaborate interpretation as if it's definitive.”

Mera: “Ooooh, I'd pay a dollar to find out how many comments you leave on fix-it fics. Are they also dwelling in their delusions of a world where a fictional character in a show overcomes a fictional death in the same show? Is it a sign of mental illness to indulge in word count or WORSE -- for them to irresponsibly leave those insane words just out there online where other people can also continue their madness by READING THEM?!?! The absolute horror. We writers should be ashamed, etc etc.

“There's every possibility all the words I'm spilling over this are worth just as much as you paid for them: exactly nothing.

“So thank goodness we have you and others like you, willing to do the purely altruistic and entirely virtuous work of... leaving comments to tell us you didn't agree? I guess? Honestly I don't have a full lock on what your goal was here, if something other than trying to make people feel bad but fortunately not being very skilled at it.”

Commenter: “I wish you and every other fan nothing but the best, and for that reason, I find this hard to watch.”

Mera: “My sibling in Shiva: the 'back' button and the 'x' to close the window are available in every single web browser I have ever used in the history of the internet, ever. But I appreciate your martyrdom in staying here and nobly suffering so hard in an attempt to save me and my readers from ourselves!”

Commenter: “It seems like you are setting yourself and others up for even more rage and heartbreak than there would otherwise need to be.”

Mera: “I want to point out that I've tried to be very careful in not speculating about Season 3; I think it's reasonable for any fan to assume all characters living at the end of S2x08 will return in S3 unless real life status of the actors, scheduling, or budgetary considerations prevent that.

“I want to point out that all I have are the first two seasons, and I am telling you that Izzy Hands, inside the last second of S2x08, is "mostly dead but slightly alive" -- and he's in the house, being the cause of the smell that Edward doesn't want to recognize (as he is at least twice before shown refusing to recognize what he's done as Blackbeard after the fact) but does actually recognize all the same.”

Mera admits that there are two options: “Either I'm correctly parsing the absolute bounty of subtext available in every aspect of the show, or I'm not.”

“On the day that we get that confirmation, I will feel one of two things: either the delicious vindication that I was right -- or amazement that they could build such a wondrous sky castle of subtext, whether consciously or subconsciously, and fail to complete it satisfactorily.”

“I've been wrong before and will freely and cheerfully admit it [...]. That's also why I put in my first meta post that I had been a TJLC'er -- and why I've left it in there, actually. It's correct and it's honest. Straight off I admitted I was wrong about Something Big.

“See, it's [...] ‘hater bait,’ and it's already caught several. Lots of concern trolls that couldn't quite manage to wipe the foamy froth from their mouths long enough to keep it from dripping on their keyboards, because all of them had mentioned it... until you.”

“I've cackled my way through all of the writing of this post, even as I've tried to be very kind in reply -- you should have seen some of the shots I chose not to take due to their cruelty (even though they were fucking hilarious) -- so thank you for a most diverting morning. I even got more meta and more word count out of this, so it wasn't actually a waste of productive time!”

Commenter: “I urge you to reconsider this approach that you're taking.”

Mera: “Here's where I'm gonna get all the way real again. Because I'm not talking to [...] that poor dear any more. I'm talking to the ones who are here with me in the stinking dark of the Pit of Despair, holding onto Izzy's naked right hand with no glove between us any more or hopefully ever again, hollering him back home out of the gravy basket.”

“If one sound had been added, everyone would know what the author knows. “We have the house. We have the grave -- with Izzy's collar on it like the dog collars on the dog graves in Pet Sematary -- where whatever comes back often comes back wrong. We've got the concept of a bad smell. We've got Stede reacting to something awful with a scream [the one thing Mera’s adding in this scenario].

“DONE.

“Now the fandom is convinced that Izzy is alive, just as most of us were convinced in the last 18 months that Lucius was still alive.”

“This is part of what convinced me in the first seconds after the episode was over that Izzy wasn't dead. If I could both change the story and prove it to everyone else with just one small addition... then he's not dead.”

After Lucius was pushed overboard in season one, “I just trusted that this soft and sweet little show wouldn't actually permanently kill one of its gays. [...] And I still trust that it didn't actually permanently forever and truly kill the most gay-coded of its gays.”

#izzy critical #not really but it's for that crowd tbh #“you don't create a queer avatar by fucking accident”#i want to type unkind things #keep not reading that meta it's way too long #and not even that fun to read #i promise i brought all the fun parts over

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dateamonster · 5 months ago

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i saw on your storygraph that youve read Playground by Aron Beauregard and gave it 1.5 stars. a coworker told me about the book and i was debating if i should read or if it would just be mental torment. what were your thoughts on the book?

first of all yayy i love when people check out my storygraph! now about playground, i should give a sorta disclaimer that i try not to rate books predominantly based on like my own enjoyment of them or agreement with the text as much as on how well i think the author achieved what they seemed to be trying to do. i didnt hate the book. at least, ive seen a lot of people responding to it with this sentiment of like "wtf a book like this should never have been made" and i seriously disagree with that. that said, i just don't think its very good lol.

imo it falls into the trap a lot of indie extreme horror writing does where it feels so in love with its own gratuitous grossness and shock value that it loses a lot of its impact as a whole. the writings not bad, most of the time, but you can sorta tell which scenes were the author really straining to disturb the audience as much as possible, and its not like it was entirely unaffective. just... mostly.

storywise... there were a lot of characters and most of them got very little development, especially the ones that actually stood to be somewhat interesting. it rushes pretty quick into the horror so theres not really any sense of anticipation, and from there its just kind of beat after beat after beat with no escalation or sense of resolution. there are aspects i find interesting- a multi level saw trap styled after a massive playground is a really fun concept imo, and the dynamics of one particular family make me wish it was kinda just about that family so the story could go deeper into their unique disfunctions, but the end result didnt really do it for me.

i think theres a lot of attention payed to the more shocking, grotesque aspects of the book in an "omg what did i just read aaa get the eye bleach" kinda way, and thats fair lol its pretty intense, but imo that discussion kinda distracts from the fact that its just really not a very good story. id probably check out a future book of arons because i think theres potential for growth but playground was not it for me.

thats my review! if it sounds like something youd be interested in evaluating for yourself, go for it! imo i dont think theres anything to be lost by reading a even bad book for yourself. but like definitely worth looking up the content warnings if you do.

#ask #playground aron beauregard #extreme horror #reviews

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allthefoolishdreams · 6 months ago

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HELLOOO hope you're well! 🍓, 🥤, 🌻, 🍄, 🔪 and ❄️ for the emoji truth or dare ask game? (i am getting to yours too! unfortunately i cannot see the second emoji you sent me, but i will answer the rest!) <3

HELLO!! 😊 Im doing okay!! Hope you are as well 🩷(I honestly don't remember what emojis i sent you so dont worry about it, when you post I'll let you know what it was) 💕

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

So I read fanfiction for awhile but I actually started writing fics in high school during my marvel phase and I wrote a lot but only posted some of my fics. Eventually I started venturing into other fandoms that inspired me enough to write and post. Finally ended up witing skz because the brainrot was so strong that i went from reading fics to writing my own for them fairly quickly and yeah here we are!

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

honestly i don't really read that much fanfiction (please feel free send me some recs i do want to read more) (i do have like so many open tabs on my phone of fics ive been meaning to read um. dont want to think about how long they've been there.)

but here's two fics i've read very recently and enjoyed:

next level by meloncafe (seunglix. where felix has a massive crush on seungmin and has an anonymous rival in an arcade game that he befriends via text while trying to form a friendship with seungmin, its so fun and cute!!)

(won't you) tell me you miss me by bumblespook (jeongsung, they were roommates but have moved out to live on their own while mutually pining and neither will admit their feelings)

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@isjeonginsoup 💕 hope you don't mind being tagged but yeah we haven't spoken much but i do appreciate you!!

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

no comment? i don't know i'm trying really hard and i just can't think of any at the moment (very surprising since i have so many fandoms i think about a lot)

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I don't remember what the weirdest topic is but I once ended up watching History's Greatest Heists with Pierce Brosman as research for the spidey minlix fic because I wanted to see what kind of stuff people did for heists in real life as opposed to fictional shows. I've also looked into what paintings and valuable artifacts are in NYC museums (@ the fbi i swear I wasn't planning anything I just think its interesting!)

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

OH! i actually have a dream plot for descendants, so ive always wanted a leverage au (i dont know if you know the show but its thieves conning the rich for good, think modern robin hood) but core four + ben as the leverage crew. i dont know who would write it best but i would love to read it, or maybe write it idk lol. sea 3 would definitely be a rival heist crew in said au.

#jeonghoneyss #i think at this point i should give you a fun tag instead of just your url #anyways ty for the ask!!! 💕#🔮; you seek information #ask games

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soracities · 2 years ago

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have you read ulysses by james joyce? ive been wanting to for a while but im a bit intimidated by its reputation of being hard to get through

I haven't, but I know a little about it and I do think, as with all difficult works, context & background is going to be your best friend; there's an ask by @days-of-reading from a few years back here that has some very good recs for annotated additions / supplementary material that may help guide you and make the book (or the idea of approaching the book) less daunting since you will know what went into it or the meaning behind various episodes or terms.

That said, I think an important thing to remember, and what has helped me with other challenging books / authors, is to remind yourself that, if they're difficult, they are so for a reason, and that this isn't automatically a bad thing—a book's difficulty isn't necessarily there to alienate you, scare you or threaten you, or make you feel inferior, as though you could never be up to the task (that said, some books probably do want to alienate you & attempt to do so in an aggressive or provocative manner but even then that aggression is a commentary on something; the question they pose is whether you will examine that commentary or not); more often than not it's to invite you into (often radically) different ways of experiencing a text, a language, a way of thinking and digesting / exploring the world. It's asking you to check what you know, what you think you know, and what you expect to know at the door and meet the text on its own terms.

After all, what do we mean when we say a book is "difficult"? "Difficult" compared to what logic, whose logic? What does that logic demand, and is that demand always reasonable? Is this logic actually as inviolable as we think it is? Let's say a work "doesn't make sense", but is that a problem with the work, or what we've demanded it be, without pausing to consider what it actually is, in its own words? Why has the author decided to construct their narrative like this, when they easily could have done it differently—and the natural follow-up to that question being: could they, really, have done it differently? The option was there but they chose not to. Texts that are trying to break the limits we impose on works of literature are often a commentary on those very limits themselves. Why are they there and who put them there? But most crucially: what's on the other side?

Understanding the social, cultural, and historical context that informs a particular writer's view of the world and they way that expresses itself in their work is obviously massively important, but I think there's also a lot to be said for surrendering yourself to a particular work's own logic and letting that take you wherever it will. That means accepting some parts will feel utterly nonsensical (some are meant to be) or understanding that maybe you will only read it at a pace of 3 pages an hour, or that one page will be re-read 10 times before you feel ready to move on. And it means taking that as an inherent trait of the work and learning to examine and move through it as it is exists because without it, it would be a completely different book altogether; and if you are treating / reading it as though it should be or you want it to be a different, easier, book then why are you reading it in the first place? The question of "what does it all mean?" is not necessarily the question that you have to answer when reading something, and not having an answer isn't a bad thing; sometimes finding an answer isn't even the point. Sometimes I think it's not unlike when a toddler finds something utterly benign looking—like a pebble, or a stick, and runs excitedly towards you in order to present what, to them, is probably something immensely fascinating. And maybe you don't see what they see but you kneel down and accept what they give you regardless and take part in the experience with them, because that is what the real intention behind that gesture is.

I don't know if any of this will help, but I hope you get something out of it, anon x

#anyone who has more concrete advise for ulysses specifically please do add it in!#ask #anonymous #book talks

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windvexer · 2 years ago

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waait. how do you actually consistently go from the basic divinatory interpretation to the nuanced and detailed one? currently this level of detail is Exactly what im trying to accomplish. im happy with the feedback i get and the last year and a half ive done more progress than i did in 7 years of reading casually but i lack that oomf.

did you base this on a very specific card combo? is it something that you and your divinatory spirit have agreed on specifically? whats the actual process? btw just wanted to say thanks for posting such consistently cool stuff 🍻 invaluable

Hi! Great question.

I worked heavily with Mystical Origins of the Tarot by Paul Huson during this process, exactly because it cuts through quite a lot of the fluffier nonsense we now see with cards.

When I started developing my notes, I sat down and decided that I would only include statements which were specific enough that they could not apply to a majority of situations.

In more modern texts, almost any card can be applied to almost any situation because the meanings are like, "this is a good time to start a new project! Power is around; is it your power, or someone else's power? Maybe your project should be contemplating power!"

Which is encouragement that applies about equally well to someone deciding what career path to take as someone trying to figure out how to elude the police in a murder investigation.

So the actual process, the lighthouse that was my beacon into a harbor of meaning, was that the meanings I generated must be so specific that a seeker could easily say, "sorry, that's not what's going on with me at all."

Which has made reading a lot easier and a lot more accurate.

Like, if you think of a note to add and get anxiety about it being so specific that seekers would immediately know you're wrong, you're on the right track.

So, as an actual process, I'd open up my word processor, read the entry in that book mentioned above, and start with a few key words.

Ace/Swords Key words: Authority, triumph, and conquest. Borders and confinement, and overcoming them.

I based the key words off of historical meanings of the cards, but also based on my own feelings about the card.

I worked on these notes by contemplating card meanings, exploring my own ideas about the cards, and also trawling modern meanings (after all, people have had great ideas about tarot since the early 1900s - no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater).

Then, I created my notes structured as sentences that might actually be said to a seeker.

Meanings: Do not trust that person. Are you actually helping, or are you steamrolling the victim? No, they're not going to apologize. You're making up a lot of stories to justify your bad decisions, but this time your friends are right.

(**the above meanings I made up for this post; don't add them to your personal notes about the Ace/Swords!)

I added notes until I felt every facet of the card had been explored. I often went back and edited old entries. Often, when working on a new card, I'd realize that it overlapped too much with a card I'd already written up, or that it gave me new opinions on an old card. In these situations I worked with both entries until I was satisfied that the cards were all represented in a unique way.

Some cards ended up relying almost entirely on historical meanings. Some cards ended up being much more modern. Others ended up being a lot less based on external sources at all.

I also took care to note down omens/portents when possible. "This card is an excellent omen; success is assured." "This is one of the worst omens in the deck - there is nothing you can do." And so on.

When I worked with my spirit, he directly told me what to type. A lot of his meanings were much more biting than mine were. He's a very direct guy.

Because the meanings are so direct, reading has become easier - it's a bit like sliding panes of glass over each other and finding the places where the light shines through; the thread of truth common to all cards.

Now, all that being said - I rarely work completely within this system. When actually doing readings, I also use other various methodologies to interpret the cards.

Knowing lots of methodologies of reading tarot is IMO like speaking many different dialects. It's all one language, but as a translator of the cards, you can pick up so much more nuance if you know more forms of the language.

#answered #tarot #divination #tbl

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oohbuggypie · 9 months ago

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it's both my God given right and duty to never shut up so i am going 2 not be quiet about BullDon 🫡 putting all text ("analysis", fanfic reccs, general rambling) under a read more so those who don't gaf can scroll easy �� HERE WE GO !!

(all fanfics and their respective author are linked within their titles 🩷)

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K WHERE DO I START . their dynamic, past the obvious matador and bull trope, is so interesting to me. i think that their backgrounds have so many similarities; Don is a matador and is shown to have hundreds of people gathered in a stadium to watch his match, and Bull is watched relentlessly by the paparazzi. but they both have very different reactions to the fame and attention they receive. Don soaks it up and Bull can't stand it, and i think it contributes to their odd, almost mirror dynamic a lot

past that is their personalities and ethics,, both of them are SO full of themselves i actually almost forget, with Bull only being slightly more humble (cuz he can't exactly brag about his looks 😭) . Don is more prideful than he is cocky imo; but he's VERY expressive of his anger and distaste for losing, which makes him kind of paralell to my idea of Bull. though this follows more of a headcanon of mine and not whats in the game, i think Bull is really calm outside his persona in the ring (i.e his intermissions,,, he's being friendly if anything with Doc and he speaks so calm and low in Title Defense). unlike Don, he's shown actually building endurance and managing his emotions compared to his Contender cutscnene, essentially the OPPOSITE of Don, who only gets more sour and negative after he loses. i think in that aspect they're complete opposites but that switch makes their dynamic and relationship so much more complex to me

in the ring i think they share the factor of channeling their anger to help them succeed; Don is stronger when he's pissed at his missing toupee and Bull is .. Bull ? the Bull charge and his gut punch in Title Defense are very telling if his entire character isn't about how genuinely angered that man can be and i think that gives them a more complex element to how they'd work together; they're both sour and ugly about being perceived/looked at (more literally) in a way they don't want to, so that's just another thing that i find so interesting .. they have a BUNCH in common yet they're drastically different when you look at their characters generally

K NOW FANFIC RAMBLE TIME 🩷

Suficiente:

if anybody knows the author DetectiveCapan from AO3 personally im so dead srs when i say u should message them and praise them. i could not stfu about their BullDon writing and im not going to in a paragraph or two here but OH MY GODD. i have always avoided both actual books and fics alike that are written choppy and simplistic, and especially ones that lack atmosphere simply cuz they're just unappealing and hard to make me feel what's actually going on. but their BullDon trilogy ?? somehow their style of writing, which doesn't use complex words or long sentences packed with detail, is genuinely some of my favorite that i have EVERR read . they make the emotions the characters are feeling SO easy to understand and feel even without exaggerated expressions and dramatic descriptions it's actually kind of incredible ? and the bit of humor isn't overbearing, it's just silly and it sets up the atmosphere, which never ends up terribly serious. they write relationships with a familiarity in the atmosphere and actions that have been unachievable in any other piece of fiction ive read and the gestures omg .. IM GONNA BE SPECIFIC IN MY RECCS SO YOU'LL HEAR MORE ABOUT IT BUT OMGG. DETECTIVECAPAN IF U SEE THIS BLESS UR HEART SERIOUSLY UR AN AMAZING AUTHOR 🩷🩷 PLEASE KEEP DOING WHAT U DO UR WONDERFUL AND I'D LOVE 2 SEE MORE OF UR WORK ABT BULLDON / PUNCH OUT!! WII IN GENERAL 🥹 now the recc list!!

possibly my favorite out of all three and it's literally the first one 😭 ough i could gush about this one FOR SO LOOONG ,,, i love how they immediately establish Don's mindset and attitude with how he both admires and pities the World Circuit for what they get and what they go through. when Don's out of the shower and he sees Bull half dressed there's no implication of sexual tension despite them being mostly undressed in front of each other and thats actually SO special to me because i had a morethanfriendship just like this and they captured the reality of it in a perfect way, like feeling for feeling . same in the way that Bull watches Don get dressed; they mention he stares but he doesn't have a corny, shocked "omg i hope he didn't notice me" reaction to catching himself. instead they mutually understand that they're admiring each other and they just smile about it . LIKE UGH THATS SO SPECIAL TO ME OMGG. and also Don putting on his - what'd id assume - rosary and then dabbing cologne behind his ears .. literally clutched my own cross necklace like omg that detail makes me crazyy i love the religion mention sm 😭

also UGH Bull's mannerisms .. a little annoyed at Don but there's such an endearing thing about it; he's annoyed at his demands but he complies anyway cuz even though he knows Don is purposely trying to make him a little pissed, he likes him enough to and he knows it'll make him happy .. THERE'S A DEEPER SENSE TO IT AND I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS BUT IT'S HARD TO WORDD 😭 also Bull being quick tempered about small things like the radio playing static and the music not being his taste .. and just the mutual like attachment they have with each other.. Bull never says anything about taking Don "home" (his hotel room) but Don knows exactly to get in his car and go with him anyway ,, and i cannot stress hard enough that it's just the little things seriously. i will never ever be regular about Bull liking to tie Don's boot laces, or promising to get his favorite beer when he offers it, or purposely (and patiently) waiting for him to get out of the shower so they can talk 🥹 like all those little gestures of love that show that he really does care . also possibly my favorite thing about this whole trilogy is that they have a very unestablished relationship ! it's never explicitly stated that they're dating or in love or anything even romantic but there areee quick mentions that imply (if im reading them correctly) that they're def a bit more than friends i.e Don mentioning how he thought his skin would burn from being in Bull's shower water temps ,, but the fact that it's not an established relationship and they don't outright express romantic interest in one another makes it SO much more special. it sets a completely different tone that creates warmth, familiarity, and comfort between them 😭

that's about that for Suficiente .. I LOVE IT SO MUCHH 😭 PLS READ IT, LEAVE KUDOS, AND IF U CAN COMMENT UR PRAISES !! 🩷 it is so well deserved genuinely. now on2 the next:

La Cosa Sobre El Pelo:

ugh i love this one equally as much. im gonna be repeating a lot of the same praises and ideas from "Suficiente" bcuz the whole trilogy creates the same kind of atmosphere but i still wanna gush about and explain it 🥹 omgg the paragraph about Don having a bald ass head and it scaring away the ladies made me giggle SO BAD . also UGH okay .. the sentiment of Don being vulnerable enough to confess his biggest insecurity to Bull, and for Bull to actually reflect and think about it so long after he's been told and reciprocate the vulnerability by showing Don a photograph of him before he lost his hair .. OUFFFGGHH actually the cutest and sweetest thing ever . also i am a nitpicker and a sucker for small details and i just absolutely LOVE how naturalistic the author makes the characters move. like Don doesn't get up and stand to grab the photo off the nightstand, he leans over and props himself up with his elbow and continues sipping on his beer when he's observing it like any other person would .. ugh i LOVE that detail , i get a little bothered when people write characters to be unnaturally animated in a setting where it doesn't exactly make sense to be, so that's another aspect of their writing that i appreciate soo much 😭 also it's the gestures omg .. when Bull grabs Don's thigh and shakes it and Don doesn't jerk away or question the closeness , he just leans back onto the bed and continues/ends their conversation about how he'll look bad with no hair and Bull looks good without it ,, I LOVE THAT SO BAADDD again it's the familiarity the meaning of Bull's gestures ,, the care that they quietly express instead of directly saying it .. GAWDD that's like my fav thing 😭 there's something so special about the silent concern and care that Bull has for Don in their writing; the small actions and the thought behind them do so much more than what words could say and i think it's super in character for him as well .. literally stellar i think i need to reread and add onto this one once i look at it again but I LOVE THIS ONE SO SO MUCHH 🩷

#punch out!! wii #punch out wii #bald bull #don flamenco #rambling soo hard #THIS IS NAWT COMPLETE THIS WILL BE EDITED AND CHANGED CONSTANTLY TILL IM DONE SO IF U SEE TEXT HERE NOW THATS NOT HERE LATER UR NOT CRAZY #ugh can drafts stop escaping

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