#iv been thinking about this non stop for an entire day btw

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Idk if asking people who still have subs to former DSMP CC's to (RESPECTFULLY) ask if they have previous versions of the DSMP server they can drop is too far so I have been BARELY resist doing it (AND THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO DO SO) but fuck there are so Many versions I want so bad cries

Which includes but is not limited to;

Pre-Dream Breakout

Pre-Micheal Kidnapping for my health and wellbeing

Pre-Doomsday

I cant rember when but before Pogtopia was button pranked

Id like to see both Og L'manburg in her prime and Manurg too actually

uhhh idk any others but im sure there are more important moments im just aaaaaa

[antiv3nom]

asuka ask game? pick your favorite one

ok so i do enjoy asuka guiltygear but i have been thinking REALLY hard about asuka tekken as of late so we're talking about her today

also this took me WAY too long to post i apologize but it Is out here so yaaaay

favorite thing about them:

ok so legally i have to mention asuka's tekken 8 design because motherfucker WHAT were they thinking with that one. what the fuck was the inspiration. but i love it so much i cannot lie

other than that, i really enjoy her rivalry with lili and how moderately insane that bit has gotten, and i like how they've kept her a character who is a) defensively focused in her gameplay even among the generally aggressive play of t8, and b) has a generally down-to-earth feel to her despite. Everything. happening in tekken

least favorite thing about them:

so i was actually talking to a friend about this recently and she explained my feelings really well, its like. asuka feels like the protagonist of another story that isnt being told.

it feels like she has so much stuff that COULD be a really interesting plot focus for her but it just. hasnt been? like everything between her and feng COULD be so neat but its just been sort of...by the wayside for the past few games in favor of keeping up with the mishimas (new sitcom there btw)

favorite line:

asuka's quotes are fun but most arent super noteworthy unfortunately? its mostly pretty standard fare for fighting game open and win quotes unforch :( i will say though, i do really enjoy this win line in t8 from her:

It's not good to fight all the time. Well, see ya!

bc like. girl. what do you think youre out here doing rn. girl please

(note: i dont speak japanese so i couldnt say anything towards this, but i wonder if asuka speaks with a kansai accent/dialect in game? her being from osaka and all, itd be a cool little addition)

brOTP:

omg actually ive seen stuff between leo and asuka that's been fun before i really enjoy that, iirc theyre not super close in the main canon but i wanna say in the non-canon webcomic theyre friends? i think thats right? either way its a fun concept

OTP:

asulili...uwoagh........

fellas is it gay to buy your rival's dojo and fill it entirely with roses to get their attention? certainly not. certainly.

i do wish we saw some amount more narrative tension between them since most of it has sort of dissolved by t8 but i do think theyre really cute and as mentioned before i really do enjoy their whole bit its awesome

SHOUTOUT ASULILI WEEK BTW I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO PARTICIPATE BUT I AM HYPED ABOUT ITS EXISTENCE

nOTP:

i do not think i have been around long enough to see another pairing for asuka, let alone one i dislike, so i cannot answer this question LMAO

random headcanon:

spun my mental wheel of headcanon topics and it wouldnt stop spinning for like half an hour unfortunately so im just telling you that i think asuka would play baiken or may in strive

unpopular opinion:

i still havent been here long enough to know whats unpopular regarding her :,) although i think in terms of gameplay i think she's cooler than most people believe, though i do agree that her current iteraiton in t8 isnt very strong within the meta unforch :(

song i associate with them:

i can nigh on guarantee that it's because ive been listening to this song while thinking about her really hard recently but absolute zero by natori (banger btw go watch the music video it goes unbelievably hard), i think the lyrics arent entirely unfitting though!!!

favorite picture of them:

i really like this profile art option for her, the posing is fun and the textures on the clothing are really impressive

and then also i have to mention her preset 3 outfit which i LOVE SO SO MUCH

(apologies as i cant find a better example pic and do not feel like opening t8 at 2 in the morning on this day)

[yourl0cal1ncorporealb3ing]

TW VENT AT SOME PARTS

(ALSO NONE OF THIS PROOF READ SO IT MAY NOT BE LEGIABLE I just wroet this and i already forgot half the stuff i wrote)

y'know the mix of horrid chronic fatigue and insatiable numbness and the dissociation just makes me feel like I missing out on life, I yearn to go outside, to go play, to have fun, just run around but I cant. I sit in my room on tumblr or youtube wasting the day away wishing I did something more productive. I feel like a husk of person I feel like Im in a movie theater alone watching the most boring movie ive ever seen, I feel lonely while also being too socially drained to watch and respond the the video my friend sent me. Not to mention when my parents used to fight, my moms road rage/anger issues, it caused me to fucking terrifed of conflict so sometimes I minimize my needs when around other people and constantly asking about things and if im doing it right but also worrying if im annoying them with all my questions because my grandma has gotton mad at me for that before i think either that or it was me asking why she loved my cousin more than me because she yelled and fought with my dad because i wouldnt give my cousin my fukcing chicken nuggets my dad bought for me like fuck you i mean im sorry grandma

The anxiety and hyperactivity of my ADHD spikes up at night so either i got to sleep and wake up in 13 hours or I can stay up till 4am, go to sleep and wake 13 hours (Just feeling a lot worse). Im literally shaking as I write this and i can tell if im just so fucking restless even if im fucking tired (its 3:38am) or anxiety or the entire kiwi strawberry monster I just drank Its ok im drinking water a lot of it i just need to get my thoughts out of my head because its like a thousond of the dvd bouncing tv screen in my head rn idk if its getting better idk if im gonna post this too maybe idk any ways im shaking oh btw i might have non-diabetic hypoglycemia and i have to get a bunch shots next week and I really hate the doctors it always makes me really scared and uncomfy n shit and idk why damn im shaking a lot. I almost freaked out bc i cant find my charger and my tablet almost died but i have another one ive been using so i just used that but i want to know where my charger went :(

istg ive been eating fucking pasta for the lat 3 weeks and i hate it i hate it i hate it HATE it every. fucking. meal. I cant. I have comfort foods I like and its mostly carby food like pasta so i eat pasta alot but since our oven stopped workin its all i know i can make that easy and i laike it but i secretly dread it so i have been eating a lot of candy to keep my brain happy but im not i should be happy ive been hanging with my frinds and its summr break but im just numb, i always am, yk the year I just finished? yeah for the majority of the i was fighting autopilot mode and disassociation but i was constantly in it i dont think i cant handle going to high school this year i think i might act pass out from exhaustion I barely survived middle school Im not okay i need something meds? idk I should not be this messed up i mean my family is great (yk...apart from the fighting which isnt that common anymore and moms anger issues) but theu love me so whats the problem? school school why is it so unoccomidating to neurodivergents same with ppl with social anxiety like i have had MULTIPLE bad panic attcks in class cause i had to do smthin in front of the class I fukcing hate the school system fuckfukcufkyoiuu school fuck the emercian school system FUCKYOUUUUUUUUU

Im too conflict avoident I cant

the afternoon feels so tiring in a stuffy way if that maks and sense i need to treat my FUCKING adhd already i can have music playing at all times thats not a good long term strategy to shut up my brain i mean ffuck i have music on rn and you can see my insane ramblings

anyyways I kinda think im a daave fiction kin (like DSAF) but im 90% sure im just and otherlinker and I just want to feel speacial or some shit but whos know i have the worst imposter syndrome known to man (I have almost every symptom of Cfs and my friend has asked if i have it but nahhh i defs dont) but also i had a weird experience once. I was like listen (its getting hard to type with the shakiness :0) ing to 2 dave and henry playlists and i kept listening to the henry one and I was in the car and i was falling and out of sleep when i saw like flash of dave but it didnt look like cannon dave he looked different he was mush more blue and he was leaning against a wall with messy longish hair and he had a hat and scars all over him and he had a purple buttoned shit that was fulled buttoned up and the perspective i saw was like a photo someone had taken and he seemed just chilling perhaps talking to jack? idfk but yeah theres my weird experience like the best way i can explain this feeling towards dave is "Idkk if i was you but probably mightve at some point like most likely at some point"

i hope i sound legiable (if i do post this AND someone actually reads this all) it is 4:08am and I feel too many things once i probably will sleep at 5 or 6 anyways byebye

[philipkindreddickhead]

I often seen critiques of make up from an existential/philosophical perspective, but I rarely see criticism of cosmetics from a stand point of the very physical bodily harm it does. I think this is because the number of dangerous ingredients is so massive, and overlapping its an absolutely daunting task. So I've compiled the information I've found and bear with me its a lot. (This is from an American perspective. Sorry, thats what I know. However I would love it if people from other countries had things to add.)

First I want to get the "simple" stuff out of the way. I think almost everyone has heard about bacteria and fungi in makeup and that makeup causes acne from clogging pores. Makeup has a pretty strict shelf life, yet consumers are entirely supposed to self-police as Ive never seen a single expiration date on any cosmetic packaging. (I guess consumers are meant to pull this knowledge out of the ether or something. I only found out about it in a tumblr PSA. I did read that expirys are on products in Europe.) Beauty blenders are the worst offender because theyre almost always moist. When I was taught makeup I was told to wet my sponge so it would soak up less product. If you apply makeup daily your sponge is likely constantly damp. USA Today had an article which said that 96% of sponges had fungi and over 60% had E. Coli in them. But I think what people talk about less is the complication of problems from using other products in conjunction with dirty beauty blenders. USA Today warns its especially dangerous to use beauty blenders if you have damage to your skin like acne, cuts, or dry skin. However the most popular beauty products for washing your face contain walnut pieces for literally scrubbing your skin and creating microabrasions. If youre a frequent makeup user you probably know about the cyclical nature of applying foundation, breaking out, and then applying more foundation to cover the breakout. You may even be using scrubbing cleansers more frequently to combat the acne creating more tears. This can lead to "blood poisoning" and, though neither USA today or Forbes mentions this, blood poisoning (not a medical term btw. Its sepsis.) according to numerous medical sites has the potential to be extremely lethal. The symptoms are so similar to a regular flu its nearly impossible to self-diagnose.

The very first thing I was told when a friend handed me a jar of finishing powder- popular with many beauty gurus for the "baking" technique and considered a must have- was a joke about "clown lung." This was a reference to the main ingredient talc. Talc causes lung problems including cancer and respiratory illness. If anyone remembers the large Johnson and Johnson lawsuit from 2019 it was because theyd been putting talc into baby powder. Talc is dangerous because it's impossible to mine and seperate from ASBESTOS. Some high-end finishing powders will try to sell you on safe talc-free formulas but all the products I looked into contained mica instead which causes pneumoconiosis, colloquially known as "black lung disease." Like fucking coal miners get. Its not just present in finishing powder either. In my research it turned out that talc/asbestos are also present in many eyeshadows and other powder products. [Googleable, evidenced in J&J lawsuit]

Another industry to examine is nail salons. Toluene, Formaldehyde, Dibutyl Phthalate, and Methacrylate compounds are all dangerous ingredients and present in various salon products. These ingredients cause a range of problems from dizziness, drowsiness, birth defects, slow fetal growth, future intellectual disabilities in the fetus, eye skin and throat irritation, coughing, allergic reactions, asthma-like attacks, short-term memory loss, nausea, dermatitis, cancer, and misscarriage. Some nail products advertise that they are 3-free meaning that toluene, formaldehyde, and DP should be absent but often the labels are found to be completely inaccurate. It should be noted that the risk is mainly to salon workers and not patrons but ask yourself if it is right to place other people at serious risk for your aesthetic. OSHA does make an attempt to mitigate these risks however not once in my years of makeup queen did I see a salon following these directives which include constant air monitoring, half mask respirators with chemical cartridges, gloves, long sleeves, and safety glasses. (And Im not even going to touch issues of human trafficking/slave labour out of nail salons one case of which occured 5 days ago two hours away from me) It should also be noted that formaldehyde can also be found in hair relaxers and hair dyes. [Found articles in Scientific American and NYT]

I also found on the FDAs website that many cosmetics include heavy metals like arsenic, mercury, and lead. (Usually accompainied by a picture of lipstick so I assume that is the product most likely to contain it, however campaign for safe cosmetics lists foundation as containing heavy metals, and The Guardian has an article about skin lighteners from Asia and Africa containing mercury.) The website stated that the amount of these heavy metals in cosmetics is "safe" if used as intended. (and I'm going to come back to the concept of "intended use" later because thats a can of worms too) However, when searching for info on heavy metal safety I found this quote in regards to metals in food:

"Certain metals, such as arsenic, lead and mercury, have no established health benefit, and have been shown to lead to illness, impairment, and in high doses, death. Understanding the risk that harmful metals pose in our food supply is complicated by the fact that no single food source accounts for most people’s exposure to metals in foods. People’s exposure comes from many different foods containing these metals. Combining all of the foods we eat, even low levels of harmful metals from individual food sources, can sometimes add up to a level of concern"

So like, which is it? Is it a "safe amount" or is no amount of metal safe? I understand that in the case of certain foods like fish some amount of mercury poisoning is always expected but fish is also something you feed yourself and nourish your body with while cosmetics are completely unecessary to your survival. The mercury problem in fish is also mitigated by health warnings when mercury levels are particularly high but cosmetics have no such warning. Another warning on the site indicated that children should ingest NO amount of lead AT ALL because it is particularly harmful for kids yet theres no effort to stop children from using lead-containing cosmetics. I worked next to a Five Below where I was shocked to find they sold Jeffree Star and Anastasia eyeshadow dupes for five dollars which amounts to fucking pocket change for a lot of kids and kids do buy that stuff. I also think its ironic the FDA would have anything to say regarding cosmetics because in the very same article about heavy metals in cosmetics the FDA says that they DO NOT REGULATE cosmetics beyond the color additives.

Mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and brow tint often contain carbon black. This is a color additive that is an incomplete combustion of carbon-based products. It can cause lung disease, cancer, and organ system toxicity, and eye, nose, throat irritation. The effects are mainly studied in rats and those at biggest risk are industrial workers but why do other workers have to endure lung problems for something so unecessary? [Easily googleable, NIH, CDC, WHO Europe]

This next bit I only want to mention briefly because I didnt find any particularly reputable sources about it, but its a claim that cropped up repeatedly and I think its an interesting one. Parabens, estrogen, phthalates (again), and pesticides in cosmetics are apparently linked to endocrine disorders and hormone dysregulation. Im not entirely sure what is meant by this accusation. Endocrine disorders include female diseases like PCOS and possibly endometriosis. None of these diseases is very well studied and the female endocrine system itself is not well studied either. Im not saying "cosmetics cause PCOS" because we dont know if PCOS or these other endocrine/hormonal disorders are genetic or environmental or both (it appears that PCOS is largely genetic and Endometriosis is likely autoimmune related) AND we dont appear to know for sure that cosmetic ingredients cause endocrine disorder. But I include anyway for a number of reasons:

If you happen to struggle with hormonal problems you may want to know cosmetics is a potential environment factor.

These conditions are incredibly painful. It will be a battle getting your doctor to even acknowledge that pain for diagnosis. PCOS is linked to diabetes, and heart disease. [Thanks @mother-of-pearl ] There is no cure and the treatments are often throwing hormonal birth control at it and hoping for the best.

I dont anticipate the link between cosmetics and endocrine disorders being studied any time soon or any endocrine disorders studied at all because the medical/scientific field is sexist. I dont want women to suffer in the mean time.

Now again, take this with a grain of salt because I couldnt find scientific or news sources for it. Dont fucking come for me. Im not gonna respond to you. [Most reputable source was a paper from the library of medicine at the national institutes of health but it was behind a paywall and I dont have 39 dollars to be right on tumblrdotcom]

Avoiding these ingredients is not as simple as scanning the label for them. As many beautubers and the community are no doubt aware considering multiple scandals over veganism. Products advertised as vegan or cruelty free but contain non-vegan carmine or are sold in China which legally requires the products to be animal tested. Cosmetic companies will hide ingredients claiming they are "trade secrets" or they will be placed under "fragrance." Many ingredients will be known by six or seven different names and asking consumers to be aware of seven different names for multiple ingredients requires consumers to be aware of innumerable different, often complicated ingredient names. I shouldnt have to point out that's a ridiculous burden to place on women. The EU banned 1,300 hazardous ingredients that the US did not. Cosmetic companies rely on women being unwilling/unable to bring in a list of 1,300 ingredients- with multiple names- every time they pop in to the drug store, sephora, or wherever. Buying "natural" products will not help you either. Theres no established criteria for natural/organic in costmetics, the FDA doesnt test these products, and "natural"=/= safe anyway. Plenty of plants and minerals are poisonous. One good example is traditional kohl products which advertise their natural status but also naturally contain lead and reiterating that natural powders contain mica. US courts are rarely on the side of consumers either. I found an interesting lawsuit against St. Ives for their apricot scrub taken to court for their "dermatologist tested" label despite it causing breakouts and cuts to the skin. The courts ruled that this label was fine because it only indicated that the product was TESTED not APPROVED by dermatologists. However I think any rational consumer would look at this label and assume the tests concluded it was safe for use or else why put the label on there?

[Googlable XMONDO drama, googlable laws wrt china and eu, already stated about FDA, FDA website about Kohl. Googled St. Ives lawsuit.]

I want to return to the idea of "intended use." This is sort of a fucky concept a lot of companies have ways of getting around. My "last straw" with makeup had to do with a run-in I had with Anastasia over their "Riviera" eyeshadow palette. In this pallette they had two colors that were the real feature of the palette, an electric neon purple and a radioactive pink I mean every photo, every promotion has these two colors swirled together around the eye. Because again, its an eyeshadow palette. When I buy the eyeshadow palette of course there's a little insert warning in the package that says these two shades are not intended on the eye area. In an eyeshadow palette. Contacting their customer service they told me that these two shades were meant to be used as a blush. neon purple blush. Not only that, but their website and instagram featured NO models wearing the shades as blush while EVERY model one or more of the shades as eyeshadow. When asked about this discrepancy ABH stopped responding. What I find egregious about this is the amount of people who dont know, and then more staggeringly; dont care. The sephora clerks didnt know, the in store abh representative didnt know, their customers didnt know, and when I told them they would respond with "oh, [brand] did the same thing with their [shade]." Sure enough, when I demanded that store clerks open the packaging to look for warnings nearly every product had an "eyeshadow" that was not intended for use on the eyes. Relegating dark, red-toned teal to "contour" and neon grean to "highlighter" US-based cosmetic junkies will say that these pigments have been approved for use by the EU however I found absolutely NO evidence of that. I googled it a thousand ways but all I ever found were blog posts, reddit comments, and one quote from an apparently nonEuropean layman in an Insider article. I even changed my location to France on ABH's website and the Norvina palette still contains the same warnings (not to harp on ABH in particular. I just know which shades in particular are the problem there). The Insider article noted that brands who were selling pressed pigments declined to comment. If the pressed pigments were EU friendly, I would think companies would be clamouring to say so. It also still makes their market as eyeshadow colors illegal in the US. (If any Europeans would like to chime in I'd love that.) Another problem I find with cosmetics companies and their reps is the claim that the worst thing that could happen is eye irritation for those with sensitive eyes and staining. How could they possibly know? The FDA doesnt test, or approve these cosmetics in the eye area, so ostensibly no one should be using it that way.

The next one is a bit of a "duh" but I'm going to talk about it anyway. Counterfeit cosmetics are a booming market full of untold dangers. Untold primarily because these products could contain literally anything. Ive read about glue, arsenic, lead, feces, staph, and horse urine to name a few. The labels and ingredient list on these products are fake. Legitimate brands often unintentionally play into the counterfeit market. They create artificial scarcity by making less of the product than is actually needed for consumer demand to create an even higher demand. If consumers miss out often their only chance at getting the product is to turn to counterfeits. I found examples of women who had their lips superglued, lips "turned to goo" and burned to blistering, throat closures, women with stys, contact dermatitis, eye infections. I think we as a society turn a blind eye to this problem because we think "hey, if youre buying counterfeits for a discount and you get hurt you deserve it." We imagine idiots buying products for 4 dollars from ebay or perusing Canal street for FEИTY beauty. But these counterfeits can be really convincing. I myself received a gift of a huda palette that I only recognized something was weird about it because I'd swatched it at sephora about five times earlier that month. The person who bought it for me actually paid MORE than the usual cost for the palette because it was advertised as a newer, better edition. The websites can be disturbingly similar. For instance Kylie Jenner's legitimate website is KylieCosmetics.com but you can find fakes at kyliecosmeticsshop.co.uk. These fakes can buy ad space and be one of the first sites that populate when you google the products instead of typing the legitimate site into the address bar. Counterfeits can also be bought and sold through third parties on websites like ebay, wish, and amazon. (My gift actually came from Amazon.)

[Netflix doc "Broken" ep "Makeup Mayhem" Corroborated by personal experience and google]

[lightsinthedistancee]

CONGRATULATIONS, IMA! A well-deserved milestone!

Could I please request angst prompt 26. “don’t shut me out.” for our favorite hot space droid dad, Poe? I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Congrats again!! 💕💕

-@tlcwrites from my main blog (Tumblr, please get on letting us send asks from side blogs!)

Thank you, @tlcwrites! I was so hoping someone would choose this prompt! This one came to me and really spoke to me, and I really enjoyed writing it, so hope you enjoy!

“Don’t shut me out.” + Poe Dameron x Reader

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Disintegrate

Words: 1k

Summary: “Poe draws in a violent breath of air, hands grabbing his own curls, gripping, pulling, till the pain serves as an existing, yet still insufficient, distraction to his agony.

“He decides a single thing—he has to do better.”

In the aftermath of a failed mission, Poe confronts the unbearable guilt of death under his command.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

A gambler, a savior, and a mother.

Three pilots. Three people. Gone.

The air is warm, stagnant, a bit suffocating in nature as Poe sits in his room. His head is buried in his hands as he rubs his face, hard enough to hurt whenever the heels of his palms slide over his eyes.

There’s something especially devastating about hearing death over comms. Watching a ship obliterated, pilot and all, and then waiting that dreaded half a second to hear the scream, the cry, the bang in his earpiece.

It’s even more devastating to undergo such a process three times in the midst of a plan of attack he himself had developed.

The first pilot: a young man from Corellia with a penchant and true talent for a good gamble whenever the squadron happened to be on a casino planet. The kind who could calculate every potential move and fill up an entire room with life.

The second: a young one not yet twenty. One that Poe had shared many conversations with, one he’d developed a protectiveness over, one who’d saved the squadron countless times with an intuition Poe could never even dream of possessing.

The third: a woman with a daughter back on Yavin IV, barely a twenty-minute fly from Poe’s childhood home. A daughter that he’d met once, who’d asked him in the pure innocence of a five-year old to ‘keep her mama safe.’

Poe draws in a violent breath of air, hands grabbing his own curls, gripping, pulling, till the pain serves as an existing, yet still insufficient, distraction to his agony.

He decides a single thing—he has to do better.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Three pilots is too many for one simple mission, Poe decides. More than one means that one is beyond fate, beyond chance. More than one means that there’s a flaw.

And the desire to find that flaw is Poe’s new obsession. He throws himself into his work, he hides himself from everyone, he recoils from you.

At each of your attempts to console him, he hates himself even more, he hates you even more. He hates the lies that you spew from your lips when you tell him it’s not his fault, he hates when you call them his friends because, yes, they were, but they were more too. They were under his command.

They were his to protect.

And he’d failed.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

Disintegration.

It’s the first word that comes to your mind when you see what Poe is becoming.

He’s…unhinged, unstable. He doesn’t sleep well. He eats at the oddest hours. He allows work to consume him.

The next mission plan he develops is the new focus of his life. He works late nights on it, sometimes well into the morning, sitting at the desk in your shared quarters, leg bouncing incessantly, non-stop in his hyper-focus.

“Poe,” you say softly one night, approaching him from behind, resting your arms on his shoulders.

He hums quietly, mostly oblivious to your presence, leg still bouncing away.

“It’s late,” you continue. The papers and holopad in front of him are stained with diagrams and notes of an evidently completed and checked-over plan. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to find it,” he mumbles, not even sparing you a glance.

“Find what?”

“The flaw.”

You sigh, eyes slowly shutting. His muscles beneath you are tired. They shift with his movements, wearily helping his body move as you silently stare at the wall.

“This can’t go on forever, love,” you tell him, feeling for the side of his face, touching it gently. “You’re hurting yourself.”

He sighs, rubbing his face tiredly, briefly covering the bags under his eyes.

“It’s not your fault—“

“It is my fault!,” he says loudly, making you jump slightly, his body jerking out of its defeated, slumped-over posture. “Stop fucking saying it’s not.”

You fall silent, grappling with the divided air between the two of you. Without a thought, you drop to your knees before him, gently grasping his hand. “Why do you think it is?” you whisper.

“Because my plan was flawed. I thought we went over this already.”

You merely stare at him in continuing silence. He stares back, unsure of you, of what’s happening, of everything. “No,” you simply state. “Tell me why you think it’s your fault.”

“What?” He looks at you exasperated, for he’s just told you.

“Don’t shut me out, Poe.” You press a kiss to the back of his hand. “Tell me more.”

He blinks, pausing before pulling you up. In such a circumstance, he hates seeing you on your knees before him, as if you’re begging. Perhaps you are. Now you’re asking for something deeper.

As you gently grasp his chin and press a soft kiss to his lips, he melts into you.

Every kiss since the incident had felt like a pity, like a cheap attempt to make him feel better. Every touch had been laced with animosity, for his stress had inevitably sparked your own.

But this one is just you. No other feelings or sensations defiled by a subtle hatred or a brewing conflict. Just your lips, just your fingers.

And he tells.

He tells of a life filled with a nagging need to feel responsible for everyone. A life filled with a horrible anxiety about unintentionally hurting others.

He tells of his parents who’d always presented themselves as expectations of what he had to be just by simply existing.

He tells of the pain he’s seen on the battlefield, of how all of it had built up an insurmountable paranoia of himself being the potential cause of such a thing one day.

And all that fear, all that anxiety had burned brighter and brighter, leading to now, where he’s finally snapped, sitting on the bed with your arms wrapped around him, his face hidden in your hair.

He can feel himself trembling, for he knows that it’s all out there now—his pain, his weakness, his vulnerabilities—and that it can’t be taken back. That it’s become a spot rife with potential for conflict and insecurity.

Yet you still hold him tight, doing your best to soothe his trembles, to make him feel secure in your presence once again. “I’ve got you, love,” you whisper.

..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::.. ..::::..

A/N: There’s like a 90% chance I’ll reformat this into actual fic form as a separate post because I really like it, so if anyone sees this again tomorrow, don’t mind me!

Taglist (for everything): @dark-academics-and-florals @princessxkenobi @theultimateslashgirl @djjarins @jitterbugs927

Taglist (for Poe): @synical-paradox @paper-n-ashes @spider-starry

(Btw, to anyone on my taglist, for the 100 follower prompts, I’ll probably only tag you all on the longer ones or the shorter ones I really, really like. Probably gonna be a lot coming out soon; don’t want to bother y’all 🙂)

Anyone who wants to be added to my taglist, just let me know!

[telehxhtrash]

I know its a big debate but I am not a dudebro for thinking killua and gon are platonic. I have no problem with people who do at all, but I honestly just think they have a strong friendship, and I am for encouraging boys to have these types of bonds with each other ~screw toxic masculinity~ I like following your blog btw

Hi ! First of all, thank you for liking my blog! I’m glad you’re enjoying my content even though I’m killugon trash HAHAH

Oh lord, it really is a big debate. I’m not calling everyone who doesnt like a romantic reading of killugon a dudebro, only the people who are vehemently against it because they say people are projecting and that there is no basis to our claims that hxh is queer work.

This is gonna be me ranting for a bit because it’s a subject that’s very dear to me so i’m very sorry in advance, it’s not against you, just a general statement !

I totally agree that fuck toxic masculinity. It’s so fucking toxic and men should be allowed to show emotions, affection and care openly without fearing for repercussions. And having portrayals of friendships where the characters are not afraid of sharing their love with the other in a totally platonic way is amazing.

However. 

There’s been countless representations of this type of relationship in media over the years. In every media, not only anime. I always cite the same example, but take Naruto who is the example that speaks to me the most. (ive never seen it so dont flame me if i say dumb shit). But from my understanding, Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship was a full on middle finger in the face of toxic masculinity. They shared a deep bond, pretty much like Killua and Gon’s. I know a lot of people shipped them because their relationship was borderline homoerotic, but in the end it was just a beautiful representation of a very deep platonic friendship. 

And when you’re queer, it’s heartbreaking. Because you’ve been projecting this entire time, for the work to tease you, to literally bait you into showing you inherent queer behavior only for it to say “haha lol jk” at the end is fucking rough. Especially when you’re young and questioning your sexuality, looking at relationships between two best friends and thinking “oh, this feels like I feel when I’m with my best friend, is this romantic love?” and then the work saying nope haha its purely platonic ! its rough. trust me. 

The community doesn’t have a lot of positive, healthy queer relationships to identify with. Especially in anime. Most queer relationships are labeled under the special genres “shounen ai” and “yuri” (both of these categories painting queer relationships in the worst possible ways ever btw, but thats a whole other subject). But it’s fucking sad. Because we deserve to see queer representation in works that are not classified as those genre. We shouldn’t have to dig into a particular genre to identify with characters : there should be queer representation no matter the genre, whether it be a shoujo, a seinen, or for example, a shounen battle manga.

And that’s why HxH is so important to the queer community. Because it displays just that. That you can have good queer representation in non shounen-ai genres. That queer relationships are normal and should not have to be classified under a certain category. 

A lot of queer people identify and recognize HxH as queer work, because of a few reasons. Togashi has always been interested in queer representation, having put queer characters in every single one of his works. There was a trans girl in YYH, a trans man in Level E, Alluka in HxH. Togashi also wrote several gay characters in both of these works. I always repeat myself on this, but Togashi also wanted to write a gay sports manga, but was turned down. His favorite manga when he was younger was a shounen-ai. So yes, Togashi has deep history and is very involved in queer representation.

Togashi is also very fucking smart. Just look at all the metas people are producing every day about hxh and understand how much effort togashi has put into his work : he’s a smart man, who makes conscious choices about everything he puts in his manga. So when you see the way he portrayed Killua and Gon’s relationship, and for now most importantly Killua, you know it’s not accidental. Togashi has put SO much subtext in his work about Killua in general, from his birthday being Tanabata to him wanting to commit a lovers’ suicide with Gon, and Togashi KNOWS how it comes across, he’s not dumb. He knows what those things mean, he knows that a shinjuu is a heavily connotated word, and that people, ESPECIALLY JAPANESE PEOPLE who have the cultural context, are gonna think “oh, maybe Killua is gay”. Because that subtext is intentional. And there’s a lot of it. If you haven’t read my post on the subtext of HxH, I invite you to do so because there’s a LOT of it. 

In short, HxH has the subtext, has the potential and has the one author that is not afraid of putting queer stuff in his work. That’s why Killugon is so important to the community, and that’s why a lot of people, especially queer folks, insist on the romantic reading of their relationship. 

Because it’s extremely important to queer people. Positive representation of queer relationships in anime is hard to come by, ESPECIALLY in the shounen genre. And sadly, because our society is drowning in deep internalized homophobia, people easily dismiss queer behavior in media as platonic actions.

How many times have I seen people assess that two people of opposite genders in an anime are in love only because they looked at each other once (take Ponzu and Pokkle for example). Or because they held hands. Our society is so quick to romanticize interactions between two people of different genders, but fail to do the same when it’s same-gender pairings. 

Straight people hand holding, kissing, blushing around each other, admitting their love out loud, looking at each other’s eyes deeply are immediately categorized as in love. But when it’s people of the same gender, people immediately say “it can be platonic”. And whether you’re aware of it or not, that’s internalized homophobia.

That’s why it’s infuriating to see people dismiss the subtext that Togashi has tried SO HARD to plant throughout his story. Because it’s there, and if Killua was a girl, there’d be way less people opposed to a romantic reading of their relationship. Because it’d be widely accepted that Togashi is writing them as a developing couple, no questions asked. 

Which brings me to my final point (promise, I’ll stop ranting after this). Sadly, the voices of the people who assert a platonic reading of a relationship are often louder than the voices of queer people who identify with the work. When confronted with an ambiguous relationship between a same-gender pairing, people unconsciously tend to choose a platonic reading of the relationship. Which is harmful to the queer community, because the voices of the queer people who identify with the work are silenced. 

In conclusion, yes, representations of deep platonic friendships without toxic masculinity are good, and very much encouraged. We’ve just had a shitton of those over the years, and queer people are craving for proper representation. Togashi is deeply invested in positive queer representation, has planted a lot of conscious subtext in HxH, and he’s the one author that would NOT queerbait. So people being insistent that Killua is pretty much canonically gay, and that it’s likely that Killugon will be a romantic pairing is not for the sake of mindless shipping. It’s because there are a lot of reasons to believe that this is Togashi’s intention.

And like I said, sadly, people insisting on a platonic reading of their relationship is unintentionally harmful to the queer community, because people are so quick to dismiss elements that make queer people identify with the work as platonic behavior, dismissing queer people as “wishful shippers”. 

There are plenty of reasons to believe that HxH is queer work, and while platonic readings of killugon’s relationship are valid, it sucks that it’s become overbearing in the anime community, to the point where outside of tumblr, people literally bully you for thinking that there’s a possibility Killua might be gay and in love with Gon. (trust me, i’ve faced a lot of people saying that it’s disgusting to label killua as gay)

So yes ! Killugon can be read as platonic. The queer community is just very adamant about people not dismissing Togashi’s subtext because HxH is the healthy, positive representation we need. It’s a beautiful piece of work that has the full potential (and who is most likely headed this way) to display a healthy, loving, positive canon gay relationship between two of its main characters. 

Showing that a shounen battle manga can feature a canon gay relationship, showing that you can be young and gay and what you thought was best friend behavior was maybe romantic and that it’s okay because feelings change and are hard to figure out especially when you’re young and queer !! 

And most importantly showing that unlike every portrayal of deep male best friends relationships in shounen anime that turn out to be painted as purely platonic, sometimes behaviors that queer people identify with ARE queer behavior, and not just platonic love, but romantic, homosexual love. 

[fuwahiko]

Alright sending in that ask just gave me another scenario idea so hello im back 💜

KuzuKomaHina because i love The Dumbass Trio (that's their ship name now btw. The Dumbass Trio. It fits so well.) Izuru is Hajime's twin and they love each other even tho Izuru acts like a cat 24/7 (because i love this hc so much.) And Non-Despair...or Pre-Despair ;))))

So in an ask I sent to brynfelan a while back, I proposed that Junko despairs Hajime to get to class 77 because of all the personal connections he had with them. Because angst.

Now, same idea, but Junko fails to manipulate Hajime into despair, and she's forced to put her plans on a slight hold because "oh shit someone knows red alert time to wait it out."

Junko does eventually start her despair shit again, but this time Hajime's observant of her shit and is like "oh nOPE not my boyfriends and brother frick you imma fight this."

So Hajime decides to try and quietly ruin every one of Junko's schemes when she tries to put them in motion. Alone. With no help. Because "iVe GoTtA pRoTeCt My FrIeNdS, sHeS aFtEr ClAsS 77, mUsT pRoTeCt LoVeD oNeS!!!"

Yes that includes Sato and Natsumi's little...murder scuffle. Screw over Junko AND protect boyfriend's littke sister??? 2 birds with 1 stone.

But the main gist is that Hajime is single-handedly trying to ruin every plan Junko has without alerting any of his loved ones what almost happened to him, and what is currently happening to him. Which...he fails, because of course he does. But HOW does everyone find out and HOW do they deal with it and help Hajime??? Ur thoughts???

Izuru acting like a cat is something I didn’t know I needed in my life but it’s so damn perfect omgggg lmao

Hajime’s not having it. he’s not doing this shit today, man. don’t mess with this boy. don’t even try. but also - Hajime please stop trying to handle everything on your own this is getting silly now >:(

I love the idea of like, Hajime spending so much time alone trying to mess with Junko’s plans, managing to stop maybe one or two and then getting overconfident and letting his guard down a little. then because he’s been avoiding everyone including his boyfriends, Fuyuhiko and Nagito both feel sorta sad and are wondering why he’s so distant, so Hajime finally spends some time with them when he thinks he’ll be safe for a bit, but then little does he know some of Junko’s supporters have tracked Hajime down and he basically leads them straight to Fuyuhiko and Nagito! dun dun dunnnn

Hajime’s obviously feeling awful about this and Nagito’s probably all like “it’s all the fault of my terrible luck, I’m sorry I’m such a burden, this must’ve happened because of me because it’s such an unlikely event that all three of us would be captured like this” :( press f to pay respects

Fuyuhiko was being extra cautious though and had some kind of tracking thing on his phone that alerts everyone else and shows them their location. they get shoved into the back of some van and are pretty much helpless but Class 77 and Izuru show up and use their various talents to take down the vehicle and save the day >:)

imagine the shit Izuru could do though lmao like tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if he could sort shit out all on his own (wait wait would he still have all the talents in this au or?? whatever that’s what I’m going with lol). so he just like, does parkour across the rooftops nearby and then yeets himself onto the van while it’s still moving at a ridiculous speed and lands perfectly (like a cat... huh) and then somehow manages to get the door open all by himself (probably somehow still looking like a damn model the entire time. shit doesn’t even ruin his hair).

wait maybe this is where Hajime gets the whole working all on his own thing from... Izuru you’re a bad influence. or Hajime’s just a dumbass. yeah, probably that.

so Izuru handles that by himself but then the boys have still gotta get out and they can’t just jump out onto the road, so that would be where everyone else comes in - Izuru’s gotta leave them something to do I guess. idk why my first thought is Kazuichi using a bunch of massive drones or something to carry like a huge blanket for them to jump into haha but well uh... I’m not sure how realistic that is lmao. maybe that could hold one person and they do different stuff to rescue the others. Peko ties one end of a rope to a sword and yeets the sword down so it sticks in the van and then they climb out that way haha :’D ...this is probably even more unrealistic. wait wait wait no Gundham sends a flock of like two hundred large birds down to them and the birds work together to lift them and carry them out adasghdfjhgjfd

wait I just realised Izuru could probably just beat the crap outta Junko’s dudes and then take over the vehicle... but that’s not as fun as two hundred birds so we’ll say he can’t do that for some reason. maybe he does that cat thing where they decide they’ve done enough work for the day and just sit there expecting you to do everything for them lmao

in the end Nagito’s happy because hope won in the end or whatever but Fuyuhiko demands Hajime treat him to lots of cookies to make up for it

nobody’s letting Hajime outta their sight for like the next two weeks lol

[spookyboogie3]

The trope Last Minute Hookup shouldn’t be used for LGBTQ+ relationships.

AND DEFENDING MY LAST POST ABOUT THIS.

I DO NOT hate any of these pairings. A good many of them could have been handled differently by the creators, writers, and networks. But this isnt me hating the relationships or characters or shows. Just going off about how they shouldnt have been tacked on at the end of their respective series. 

As of writing this all of these shows have ended their original runs. Except for Supernatural which is on its last few episodes. And Supergirl, which announced its coming to end with season 6.

LGBTQ characters and relationships aren’t as common in the media as straight-cis characters and relationships. Sure things are improving but a lot of networks and writers still don’t fully understand why representation is important why they can’t keep using the same throwaway tropes they’ve been using for the straight-cis relationships.

You could name any piece of media and find and name one character that isn’t LGBTQ+, but you can’t do this with LGBTQ+ characters. We haven’t gotten to the point where they are as common as non-LGBTQ characters.

I have a whole paper I wrote on why asexual representation is important to have in the media and the same logic applies to any part of the LGBTQ+ or anything that falls under minority.

Back to the topic on hand. The trope of “Last Minute Hookup.”

Its exactly what it sounds like. Characters get to together at the very end of the story. These characters could have a on and off again relationship, lots of ship teasing, the classic “Will They or Wont They?” trope. What makes it different for non-LGBT characters in relationships to do this, we know what these relationships look like. Not to say the that both Non and LGBT relationship cant have similar struggles, however members of the LGBTQ+ community know how hard it is to feel like your identity and self matters and is normal.

I know that the whole “will they, wont they” thing is done for drama and networks and showrunners think if they give the fans what they want that they’ll start losing viewers and they have nothing to look forward to. Which is true to some degree. But most of this comes from the writers not knowing how to fucking write relationships.

Let’s just focus on whats it like to be in a non-straight relationship.

Heres an example: you have an action series, with 2 male leads and halfway through the show, they get together. Cool. Now you have a Battle Couple.

By making LGBTQ relationships happen at the end of a series that’s already had plenty of other non-LGBTQ relationships happen before it, it makes it look like the people in charge don’t care for it or were afraid of backlash. But it’s the end of the series so its not like they can get the show cancelled or anything. (The only people who are going to lash out at LGBT couple or characters are homophobic people, we don’t want them around any way so just make stuff super gay, so they’ll leave)

This is especially a problem when the writer and network have spent the whole series queerbaiting the audience with these characters.

 Side note for anyone is doesn’t actually know what queerbaiting is:

It’s a marketing technique used in entertainment, which the writer or creators hint at but then don’t actually depict sex-same romance or LGBTQ representation. They do this to attract (bait) the LGBT/queer or straight ally audience into the show with the suggestion of representation but at the same time avoiding this as not alienate other audience members *cough* (homophobes) *cough*

Definition is from Wikipedia, not a reliable source says my highschool teachers and college professors but fuck em

The Legend of Korra is a great example of Last-Minute Hookup. Korra and Asami had VERY little ship teasing, and that was in the last 2 books/seasons. Any thing that was perceived as romantic came from the fans wearing shipping goggles. So to a lot of people just casually watching, yes this looked like it came out of nowhere. Nickelodeon had some serious balls to say how brave they were for putting 2 girls into a romantic relationship.

Theres a few problems with this.

A. It never actually aired on TV (to my knowledge). The last 2 seasons of Korra were put on Nicks website.

B. The confirmation that this Korrasami was canon had to come from the creators on twitter because of how unclear it was.

C. The show did the bare minimum when it came to hooking them up in the series. They walk off holding hands (very cute btw). They didn’t even get a kiss. Aang and Katara had a Last Minute Hookup at the end of ATLA after 3 seasons of ship tease and THEY GOT A KISS. Hell the original end of LoK*, has Korra and Mako kissing. *(the first season, they didn’t know they were getting more seasons at the time, no matter what you hear the writers say, they’re full of shit)

D. Anything continuation of Korra has come in the form of comics, which her and Asami are in a fairly well written relationship. Yes, they do kiss. Yes it would’ve been great to see this stuff happen in series.

A show that handles this a little bit better is Adventure Time. Not by much though. It implied several times that Princess Bubblegum and Marceline have history together and its shown more and more in its last few seasons that there is some ship tease happening. However its not until the finale where they kiss, and they are shown in the last minute of the show cuddling together in Marcy’s house. HBO has picked up Adventure Time and has a miniseries called Adventure Time: Distant Lands, where Bubblegum and Marceline’s past relationship is shown.  

I had brought up in my original post about being upset with networks making LGBTQ+ relationships canon in the last season/episode. I originally had Catradora tagged. While Catra and Adora have history together, they did not become official couple until the end of the series.

Yes, I was wrong about the network making things canon in the last episode as they’ve always had ship tease with each other, and it probably was the writers’ intent to put them together by the end. They do technically fall under the Last-Minute Hookup, however.

I wanna talk about Once Upon a Time really quick. Fans of the show were hoping and wishing for an LGBTQ couple for the show as a lot of characters, especially Regina and Emma, have alot Ho Yay moments. The showrunners weren’t going to put those two together, for whatever reasons they may have for that (im indifferent on all the shipping going on with this show). The showrunners thought to put two characters together, and hoo boy did it not make people happy. The characters they put together are Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and Ruby the red riding hood, which would be fine if they had properly been developed.

The entire episode they did this in was a mess. They stopped the current arc during the season 5 episode ‘Ruby Slippers,’ to go over the characters that haven’t been seen in years, Dorothy was introduced and last seen in season 3, and Ruby was introduced in season 1 and was last seen in season 5 before ‘Ruby Slippers’. The characters get together in the same episode the meet in and are never seen again. The characters barely interacted, barely got along, and showed little to no ship tease or interest in each other and BOOM they are in love and together aaaaaannnnndd they’re gone. Other than having One Million Moms, a Christian fundamentalist organization, protest against the show and want it taken off the air (yes this really happened). The fans weren’t please with this development of the characters either.  

(also Mulan was right there and already knew Ruby from a previous episode, and Mulan already is established to like girls as shown by her being in love with Aurora. Don’t know why the writers didn’t just put these 2 together but whatever I guess)

So they tried again in season 7 with MadArcher. The characters of Alice, a version of Alice in Wonderland from another realm (its complicated) and Robin, the daughter of Robin Hood and the Wicked Witch (it’s also complicated). And the writers did a lot better here. Both characters were allowed to have time together and have a history together too and it was done over the whole season. Not just one episode.

Now even though the writers decided to do something different with the last season and it could be detached from the previous 6 seasons, MadArcher is not really a Last Minute Hookup per say but still falls under my thing about it being the last season so who gives a fuck if One Million Moms gets mad us and tries to get us cancelled again.

 I would like to say I have never watched a single episode of Supernatural in my life. I may one day. But as of right now my knowledge of it is coming primary from what ive seen on tumblr. You know a great source for doing research and looking for reliable information among the piles of shitposting.

From what I know from fans, the writers of Supernatural have been queer baiting for years. I mean it’s the CW, I’m not that surprised. What also wouldn’t surprise me, that by the end of the series Castiel is back and he and Dean actually start and relationship or strongly hint at starting one. I actually fear for the writer lives if they threw out a confession scene after years of queerbaiting and potential ship tease (debatable) and they don’t put them together. Fans are going to be angrier than they probably ever have been with this show and the showrunners and writers really would be known for queer baiting.

From what I know about how previous shows have done and if anyone that has ever worked on this show wants to continue living, Castiel will be back from Super Hell (is that what yall are calling it?) and he will get together with Dean. And they will fall under the Last-Minute Hookup trope and my networks make LGBTQ relationships canon last season.

 One last show I want to talk about is Supergirl, which in has been recently announced that the 6th season will be the last. The show started on CBS but moved to the CW after the end of season 1. So more CW bullshit. There is no confirmation about whether the CW or any of the Supergirl writers are planning to do this, its all speculation. Supergirl is more LGBTQ friendly than some other shows on the Network. One of the main characters came out a few years ago and had a girlfriend a season and has had plenty of hookups with other ladies around the Arrowverse. They even introduced a trans-woman superhero in the form of Dreamer.

Let’s talk SuperCorp. Lena Luthor was introduced in the 2nd season and has been a major character in Kara’s life ever since her introduction. Even if she isn’t involved in the plot, Kara always goes to her to talk and check in on her and worry about her. They are best friends. Since the 2 have met, there has been plenty of Les Yay going on. The writers seem to be aware of the fans wanting SuperCorp to be canon and they keep throwing in moments like Kara and Lena struggling together or Kara carrying Lena bridal style.

Why I bring this up after the announcement of Supergirl’s final season to start next year. We may get SuperCorp. Kara has a relationship with William in the show and not a single person likes this relationship. The writers may scrap it and get put Kara and Lena together for the final season. This is a big maybe though. The Supergirl writers and crew get called out a lot for queerbaiting.

   Let me know if you guys have any other examples of last season/last episode LGBTQ+ hookup.

And please let me know if you see any mistakes. This was all done in one sitting so I may have some things wrong.

Also check out the video by @aretheygayvideos on this topic too.

[mithliya]

ive been saying that i’ll be posting receipts on the hetfem server, which was also heavily requested by plenty of people on here. this post is going to be pretty long, so i’m putting it under a read more. keep in mind, this isn’t every single wrong thing that has been said on the server, some may disagree with some parts even being wrong to begin with, and this post may have more added to it afterwards in the reblogs. the individuals who have provided me with receipts were all feeling threatened due to knowing how vicious and prone to harassing others the women in this server often are. so ive been sent countless receipts with context, which i have tried to summarise as well. please remember that the point of this post isn’t to call out specific individuals, but rather it is to showcase that the concerns and ‘rumours’ going around about this server were reasonable and true, and to show how lesbophobic and racist this server is (which many have publicly stated before being dogpiled by members of the server). 

first is the zionism and racism in that specific regard. “theHettyishere” is black-diaspora, “Autumn” is probablyaterf. both are partaking in the erasure & justification of how israel is treating palestinians, erasing palestinians proven ties to their country, erasing the war crimes israel partook in, and also erasing the racism within israel which prioritises ashkenazim over mizrahim and black jews.

then they got more blatant and started saying that if you’re anti-zionism then you’re .. anti-semitic ?? keep in mind these people aren’t even jewish 

then they go onto defending christianity

and falsely claim hitler ‘deeply respected’ islam. interesting considering hitler called muslims ‘half-apes’ and all but oh well!  

second set of receipts is the defending of blackface and justification of it. in both these ‘debates’, they literally only present one side and then act like they had a great discussion at the end of it when they’re all just confirming their pre-existing beliefs and using one another to support that. anyways, girlsfrommars had previously come under fire for publicly defending the blackface tradition existing in her country, the netherlands. this is her doing it again after backpedaling on tumblr on this topic, and people in the server standing by her. battleking is bookrebelwordwarrior on tumblr. 

the conversation kinda goes on for a bit and girlfrommars does the same thing she did on tumblr not long before this convo, which was give a “oh ok i’ll reconsider!” which may not be her truth anyways.

next is people on the server saying straight women don’t have enough good representation and even talking about being upset over bi women and even lesbians being represented?? again, autumn is probablyaterf. laughing bird will appear in the screenshots a lot, although i’m not sure what her url is.

idk how to tell these het and bi women.... that lesbians have practically no good representation. especially not as much as het women. there’s a lot of parts of this conversation that are highly questionable. tldr its bad if lesbians or bi women headcannon gnc women as bi or lesbians. also its bad if gnc characters aren’t straight.

this next screen is coming from a het woman so keep that in mind. i don’t know how to put into words why i find this iffy so yall can see it and decide for urselves

she justifies it w this when a couple of members make it clear they find her message questionable:

on a different occasion, girlsfrommars, a white woman, decides to randomly ask other white women in the server what they think about reparations. a bunch of racist white women show themselves during this conversation. please keep in mind i was not the one censoring their usernames so i myself have no idea who these women are, but the person censored in white is emanon, who has a tumblr. i dont know what her tumblr is, but she will appear in multiple other receipts after this. keep in mind this entire channel ends up being deleted by probablyaterf to cover up the racism and prevent the collection of receipts, which you’ll see evidence of later on in this post.

then one of the white women dismisses the impact of racism, basically,

then woc start to chime in (white is the white woman, ‘emanon’)

then, after this conversation went on for a while, a mod decides to tone-police and shame the woc for taking issue with what the white woman was saying. this mod is also white.

“my race doesn’t matter, but i’m jewish” sounds convenient. especially since this person admitted to being white and stated thats why she should stay in her lane the previous day:

back to the dispute between LB and the woc:

remember LB’s tone and behaviour in  the above screenshots as you’ll see how different it is from how she acted when a white woman was being lesbophobic on the server. 

probablyaterf eventually comes in with “both sides were bad :)” basically

girlfrommars makes a non-apology apology about bringing up reparations the way she did

the next set of screenshots is just.. i dont even know what to say about it? yall can see it for yourselves because i think its self-explanatory. battle king = bookrebelwordwarrior, thehettyishere = black-diaspora, autumn = probablyaterf.

then the subtle lesbophobia comes in

this convo was then moved to a channel that was eventually deleted (receipt of that will be shown on this post).

probablyaterf then comes in and says lesbians are All saying the things mentioned above 

then radfemkitten talks about how upset she was and probablyaterf goes on about how this conversation should stop or something 

PAT then lowkey admits that part of the point of her server is to be able to talk shit about lesbians without being criticised for lesbophobia: 

radfemkitten more or less confirms this

PAT basically says “if you think women here are lesbophobic then leave but if you keep criticising what is said then i’ll mute and maybe even kick you!” ok

after this PAT muted that woman for saying that some of the women were being lesbophobic. 

someone showed exactly where lesbophobia was present 

 “straight women should have a space where they can shit talk lesbians without criticism” basically ^. this is the 3rd screenshot where members of the chat, specifically the creator PAT, states that the server exists partially so that non-lesbians can say shit without being criticised for being lesbophobic. 

this was then said by emanon (racist reparations lady): 

then probablyaterf coddles the women who were upset for being held accountable and kicks out the women who called out lesbophobia

probablyaterf deleted entire channels which involved members being lesbophobic and racist for the bullshit reason she provided here, basically admitting she would remove things to prevent the collection of receipts:

this is why she is so confident on her blog about how people can’t possibly have receipts on her server. because she makes sure to delete the evidence. issue is, she did it too late. she then started twisting the story and lying to save face. she removed the conversations regarding reparations, separatism, the accusations of racism & lesbophobia, them complaining about there not being enough good representation of straight women, etc were all removed. evidence:

then it gets even more blatantly sketchy, where PAT basically tells the members of the group to not repeat the drama or dish the details of it, as any honest and open person not hiding questionable shit would do, apparently. 

the details and specifics of this drama were all kept quiet by those involved as well, and those involved agreed to not talk about what has happened in detail.

the bit “one of the members was crying SO MUCH because you called her lesophobic that she almost LEFT HER JOB :(” is funny as y’all can see the situation for yourself up there, she said something and people questioned her on it. this wasn’t a case of a poor defenseless victim being cruelly attacked or whatever.

“a lot of them do tho clearly” keep in mind that there were like what .. 4 lesbians that took issue with the server? and initially there was even less than that.

radfemkitten then goes onto a lesbophobic rant.  

then they changed the story within the server and claimed that the accusations of racism were directed at woc... when it was directed at white women exclusively, as shown above. keep in mind the person claiming this and putting racism in quotations is a white woman herself so. hmm.

next incident is some white woman being very blatantly lesbophobic on the server. several people took issue with it, and she received multiple warnings but was not kicked. keep in mind that earlier, someone was kicked simply for questioning a member on the server and saying they were being lesbophobic. yet when someone is blatantly lesbophobic, they receive multiple warnings and then get away with it. “pinkie the feral one” goes by roxxy, i don’t know if she has a tumblr. notice how laughing bird is comparatively very civil and patient with this roxxy person. 

bi & het women determining that lesbians talking about thinking of pussy somehow implies ‘homosexuals are sex crazed deviants’, is what’s homophobic, btw.

next are when the hetfem server came under fire after TD spoke against it and drama ensued. i was initially 100% for the hetfem server and said those opposing it were being illogical. however, after a while of that drama, some lesbophobia was starting to come out from the hetfems which is when i said i think both sides are wrong. the hetfems took this very personally and proceeded to make lesbophobic comments about how im just bitter bc i dont have a gf or something (altho i was in a relationship back then so lol) and then they blatantly said they dont think het women have power over lesbians. the convo resulted in them full on arguing that lesbians have it easier than het women.

next coming is the hetfem server arguing that abrahamic religions actually *helped* women and how radfems should be talking about that. keep in mind some of these are the same people that mock people who say islam is a ‘feminist religion’. 

next is them arguing on the hetfem server that Nasime Aghdam, the youtube shooter, is male and referencing a meme as a source. they completely ignored the fact that Nasime’s childhood photos make it pretty obvious that that meme was inaccurate anyways. also probablyaterf argued that it’s somehow racist to note that nasime aghdam resembles many other people in the middle east (somewhere im from & where ive lived my entire life). its interesting considering how many things she argued weren’t racist or homophobic, yet noting that someone isn’t a Weird Unusual Looking Alien like she wants to claim is ..racist

the probablyaterf goes on to strawman that i claimed all iranians are clones of each other or smth simply bc i said nasime aghdam’s face is not unusual in countries like iran. also keep in mind the person censored in red is a white woman lol.

henryhetta = foxfur-nadine.

listen.. ive seen women wearing borderline clown makeup in my country. it doesnt make them male. anyways then PAT says ‘maybe im wrong but ill insist im not anyways’, basically.

next is the time black-diaspora posted a pic of my mom taken from my country’s gov facebook page, which provides people with her first & last name. this was brought up on the server. they said i was lying (i was not) and went on about how im crazy and need to get laid. also calling me a ‘nigel’ in one of those screens.

then they just keep justifying it and insulting me. instead of taking issue with what a member of their server did.

so basically “calling out lesbophobia is bad, but posting information that leads to someone’s mom’s full name and facebook is ok, and somehow posting something from a ‘public news article’”

then they said “homosexuality is legal in bahrain” to somehow justify any of this??? as if Bahrain doesn’t have a history of killing, imprisoning, torturing, and exiling Bahrainis that they see criticising the government (which i frequently do) or anything. not like around 200 people have lost their lives for critiquing Bahrain’s government or anything. moreover, plenty of things are ‘legal’ in Bahrain but still lead to punishment. sex outside of marriage is illegal and gay people can’t legally get married, for one. and people have been imprisoned in Bahrain for kissing members of the same sex. but whatever i guess. anyways then radfemkitten argues that i sent a picture doxxing my own fucking mother to black-diaspora. so i endangered my own mother and then begged these people to delete the information they posted, apparently? 

sadly, that is the end of the receipts i have on the topic of BD endangering my mom and the hetfem server justifying it and finding ways to blame me for BD’s actions. so i don’t have the bit that confirms how she explained herself to others and justified it, however she did justify and defend it publicly when i called her out on it. BD was not kicked or muted or anything of the sort for what she has done, and as you can see, everyone justified it and took it as an opportunity to insult me. this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if i wasn’t from a dictatorship and if my blog wasn’t so political. what BD posted is STILL present on another blog and i could not get staff to delete it, so if the information falls into the wrong hands i don’t know what’ll happen to my mother, or even to me.

next is them justifying allying with the right despite their homophobia, racism, etc. keep in mind some of these women reblogged white supremacist propaganda in agreement with it so this isn’t particularly shocking. christmas begins in november = autumn = probablyaterf.

the issue with this, by the way, is associating with a group that is often misogynistic, homophobic, and racist solely to have a slightly larger platform of people who are more or less heavily for gender, gender roles, and more, sends the message that somehow these are ok things to side with as feminists. yall notice how many ‘radfems’ are literally just conservatives who are against some aspects of misogyny or trans people? these are the people you’re roping in a lot of the time. and this makes the voices of radfems easier to dismiss by the left as well. instead of establishing a space in the left, you end up placing yourself closer to the right and effectively putting the success of your movement to a halt.

these coming screenshots are the hetfems arguing het women have it The Hardest in radfem spaces 

separate event is just some lesbophobia, again.

“imagine a straight/bihet woman wondering what the purpose of a lesbian is” go outside. there’s plenty of that. one idiotic woman saying that about bisexuality doesn’t somehow override that.

more blatant lesbophobia in a separate event. note the reactions underneath the text (all in agreement)

how often have gay people talked about how the stupid “you have equal rights now uwu” bullshit is simply bullshit? this is exactly what men use to dismiss feminists, why do it to dismiss talk of homophobia?

a bunch of white & het/het-passing women joking about making a straight pride or kkk march

remember the white woman, emanon, who argues against reparations because “what about poor white people? :(” she comes in with more racism, and some intersexism too! this is her calling caster semenya, an intersex black woman, a man and using ‘he’ pronouns for her. girlfrommars, the white woman keen on defending blackface, comes in to express her agreement.

then they argue that semenya was raised as a male.. because she refused to wear feminine clothing including in school & because some people thought she was, and thus treated her as such until they realised shes not, a man??

this is more recent than a lot of the previous receipts. i reblogged one post by radfemkitten a while back, and she was so flattered she felt the need to complain about it on the hetfem server, to which someone replied by likening me to a male hippo from madagascar. 

[yandere-daydreams]

Since requests are open, could we get a Deku with a chronically ill darling? To where maybe he started off as your caregiver (no quirk AU) and slowly finds himself in love?? Hits close to home. I love your work, btw!!!

Alright, I kinda translated heroes or doctors/caretakers, so… roll with it, everyone. I make the rules here.

TW: Emotional Manipulation, Non-Consensual Drugs, Implied Rape

In the morning, Izuku woke you up with a kiss.

It was a subtle, soft gesture, more often on the forehead than the lips and rarely anywhere lower. He’d always be smiling, grinning, just so happy to have you close enough to touch, close enough to care for properly. You never argued against it. Sometimes you didn’t want a kiss, some sometimes you didn’t want to wake up while the air was still chilled and before the sun had a chance to rise, but you’d never tell Izuku that.

He was your doctor. Doctors cared for their patients. If he did something, it was obviously for your benefit.

After that, he’d give you a small, orange pill, and you would wonder what it was supposed to help. You had medication, medication that worked, but Izuku insisted that it was necessary, going on about how your condition was getting worse, or the symptoms your showing, or how he thought you’d been a little stressed, lately. At first, you refused to take it. But, when it became apparent he’d just crush whatever you were supposed to take up and mix it into your drink, you figured it would be better to see what you were swallowing, at least.

The rest of the morning would be filled with domestic, trivial tasks, none of which were particularly important. He’d carry you into a shower, washing your hair and lathering you in affectionate touches, saying that this was normal for couples, normal for caregivers. You’d sit at the table as he made breakfast, chatting idly about which wing he was working that day, how that sweet nurse who’s always snuck you an extra dessert was doing, whatever came to mind. Letting him feed you by hand was never something you remembered agreeing to, but Izuku didn’t have to ask, for these things. He knew you got sore when you moved too much, this was just his way of making sure you weren’t in pain.

It’s why you weren’t allowed to walk, either. Because your legs might give out, you’d fall and hit your head, or they’d… apostrophy? Amputee?

Atrophy. You were never great with the terminology.

You’d be tired again, at that point, and Izuku would take you back to bed, laying you down and laughing as you clung to his arm and attempted to drag him down with you. He told you he’d be home soon, but you would still whine as he got dressed, only giving-in to your own exhaustion when he kissed you good-bye. He’d leave two white pills out on the bedtable, to take if you woke up while he was gone. You never remembered taking them, but they were always gone at the end of the day.

You weren’t sure how long his shifts lasted, sometimes eight hours, sometimes sixteen, with the occasional twenty-four hour emergency. Part of you knew it wasn’t healthy to sleep that much, but you never felt like you had. There were still bags under your eyes, your body constantly heavy and on the verge of collapsing, even if Izuku promised you were ‘flourishing’ under his care. You certainly weren’t healthy when you’d come to him, but you were never this… tired, either. And yet, anytime you found yourself staring at the mirror a little too hard for a little too long, you just reminded yourself Izuku was taking care of you.

This was probably just part of the recovery process. He warned you this might happen, when he offered to switch you into a more personal program, so he must know what he’s going.

When you woke up (for the second time, you think), the sun would be setting, Izuku at your side and unconscious, more often than not. You would curl into him, simply playing with his hair until he woke up, when he grudgingly took another shower and discarded the less than sanitary scrubs he’d come home in. It’d take some effort for him to move on with his day, getting him out of bed something more easily said than done with a man who lugged you around like a toddler carrying his favorite stuffed animal. It’d take coaxing, promises of an entire night of holding each other, but eventually, you get him out of bed. It might just be the monotony, but… god, you’re not sure how anyone can like sleeping, anymore.

Sometimes he helped you change, sometimes he didn’t. You used to do it yourself, relishing in the simple joy of dividing your day into two different outfits, but after Izuku pointed out how strenuous it must be to do something like that all on your own, you stopped. It wasn’t worth the fight, and… your arms kinda hurt, anyway.

Dinner was already prepped and cooked within the next half an hour. It was the one time you were allowed a few minutes in the kitchen, if only to see the locked cabinets and all the cutlery you weren’t allowed to use, Izuku having deemed them ‘too dangerous’ for unsteady hands. This time was also when he let himself talk about you, about how much he loved you, about how well you were doing with him, about how beautiful you whenever he got to see you. It always almost always a tangent, a sleepy ramble that didn’t require a response. You wouldn’t provide one, either way. You’d just sit and listen, trying to ignore all the times he mentioned adding something to your IV, or when he’d laugh about weak you'd be, without him.

You never really liked dinner.

Izuku would spend an hour or two doing chores (you’d offer to help, but any tasks he gave you were more out of pity than a genuine desire for you to help), and if he was feeling lazy and affection, there’d be more cuddling. You were allowed to read or watch something or play on one of his old hand-helds, the kind you didn’t know they even made anymore. Izuku was content to rest his chin in the crook of your neck, kissing and nipping at your skin, occasionally commenting on whatever you were doing. Whenever it looked like things were going to escalate, Izuku feeling a little more playful and energetic and loving that day, he’d give you a big, round, squishy pill. That one was always your favorite, out of everything he’d give you.

Izuku was happier than usual, when you woke up the next morning. 

And you were happy for him.

But, normally, he’d carry you to bed, kissing your nose or rubbing your cheeks together or doing something sickeningly sweet before laying down at your side. When he first switched to home-care, there’d been physical therapy, Izuku helping you to stretch and maintain some of the mobility you used to have. There wasn’t, now, Izuku just saying you didn’t have to move, not if he was there to take care of you. You were just left to lie awake until the sun rose and Izuku, once again, woke you up with a kiss.

You used to think about how your life had been, how doctors didn’t kiss their patients, or keep a four-digit code on their medicine-cabinets, or cry when their clients mentioned wanting a second opinion. When your mind was clear and you didn’t think Izuku was attempting to read your thoughts, you would start to wonder if you’d ever told your family where you were, or how long it’d been since you’d talked to someone besides the physician who probably wasn’t supposed to get so excited when you came down with something incapacitating. You’d mull over everything he said, everything he did, every lingering touch and needy kiss, and in the end…

You’d tell yourself not to think about it.

Izuku was a doctor, and you were his patient. He was trying to help you, he had to be trying to help you.

Even if you only seemed to be getting so, so much more helpless.

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

[mxnyxxngx]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG :)

I WAS TAGGED BY THE SWEET @smittenbyschmidt LIKE 9438798796 YEARS AGO ?? IM SO SO. SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE AND THANKS FOR TAGGING ME !!! AHHHHHHAHAHAAHAH

1. nickname: jen !!! :)

2. gender: female

3. star sign: virgo hohoho (also an enfp gryffindor if u were wondering) (u probably werent but still lmaoo)

4. height: 165 cm aka just barely 5’5 rip

5. time: 5:23 pm

6. birthday: september 13th !!! a late late late summer baby

7. favorite bands (non kpop): oh no im not sure i have any ?? i used to listen to a whole bunch tho, like one direction, big time rush, 5sos, onerepublic, imagine dragons, panic at the disco (somewhat)

8. favourite solo artist: my favorite korean solo artist has to be dean hes a literal king dear god as for non korean ive recently been listening to a lot of borns and troye sivan :’) blackbear too !!! his songs are my exact aesthetic tbh

9. song stuck in my head: without you by nct u (im listening to it rn LMAOO)

10. last movie watched: legally? black panther WHICH IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES OF THE YEAR BTW I FUCKING LOVE IT TO BITS illegally? drive me crazy bc im lowkey a sucker for sappy cliche 90s romcoms :’)

11. last show watched: i have no clue ?? actually ??? i dont watch a lot of tv so i hope seventeens weekly idol counts ??? or nct vlives ???? LOOOOOL

12. when did i create my blog: november 2014 i think !!

13. what do i post: id say about 80% is kpop (40% bts 20% nct 15% seventeen 5% other) and the rest is either memes or aesthetic posts LMAOOO

14. last thing i googled: nyc weather (theres a snowstorm today omfg and school was cancelled ?? which makes today my first proper snow day ever ??? im such a california kid)

15. do you have other blogs: not active ones but i have a couple saved urls up my sleeve ;)

16. do you get asks: ,,, not really LMAO occasionally i used to but my inbox has been pretty dead for a while

17. why did you choose your url: its just min yoongi with the vowels replaced with xs and honestly ??? i have no clue how i thought of that or why but i thought it was sooooo cool and smart at the time LOOOL im not mad at it tho tbh i love it even though it gives me a bit of trouble w url tag games LMAO

18. following: 1219 blogs which ?? i honestly dk if thats a lot or a little

19. followers: i just recently hit 204 followers !!! which btw thank you guys ??? sm ???? i love you all ??????

20. favorite color (s): PEACH and RED and GOLD (my gryffindor ass is showing) and hmm black maybe :)

21. average hours of sleep: hoooo boy LOOOOL it really depends on the day but probably about 6 ?? even tho im the sleepiest girl u will ever meet ??? my sleep schedule is FUCKED LOOOOL

22. lucky number: 7 !! its cliche but i dont care lmao

23. instruments: i used to play piano and the flute but i pretty much havent touched either instrument since college started :((

24. what am i wearing: my bigass kevin woo love more hoodie and thigh highs and uhhh a bra and underwear i guess ??? LOOOL

25. how many blankets do i sleep with: two !!! although tbh im not sure why ?? i feel like i prefer only using a comforter ???? wtf @ me

26. dream job: oh wooooow uhhhh … a music producer

27. dream trip: south korea is the obvious answer i feel like but i have been missing la so fucking much these past couple of weeks so definitely there ugh

28. favorite food: im a hoe for kbbq tbh or any kind of meat/korean food in general actually !! i also reaaaally like spicy foods :’) so hot cheetos are my favorite snack tbh pizza and in n out are both soooo good too tbh in general i prefer salty things over sweet things but i WILL eat anything peach flavored straight up i kid u not it is my favorite flavor/color/smell in the entire world I LOVE PEACHES OK

29. nationality: american born chinese (first gen) but i took like a dna test a while ago and ?? apparently im like 10-12% finnish ??? which ,,, idk LMAOO

30. favorite song now: currently its any title song by nct tbh ?? go and boss and touch and baby dont stop have been on repeat since they came out

other korean song recs: dinner by jane jang and suho; jewel box AND thousand times (an ost and it made me cry tbh) by samuel (listen ,,,,,, the boy is so talented ,,,,, pls support him ,,,, i lov him w my whole heart); some and galaxy by bolbbalgan4; i promise you/ipu by wanna one (its so good slkgslkgdlkh ahhh i didnt like it THAT much at first but it really grew on me)

some english song recs: strawberries and cigarettes by troye sivan; helplessly by tatiana manaois; dirty laundry by blackbear !!! :)

i tag @sasha092398​ bc ofc i am ??? and @byeulbitch​ and @ashweeeeeh​ heheheh :’)

[estuarries]

baby’s first liveshow commentary

hello lads i have decided to attempt doing @nihilist-toothpaste​ inspired video commentary/write up/review thingies!!!! welcome to ramble-y fun time

phil’s liveshow on august 10, 2017

his smile in the first minute makes my heart so happy i love him so much

i love the eye-tongue-eye emoji stop being mean to it

he’s a bit late bc he just finished filming a new ap vid!!! it took him longer than he thought it would to finish filming bc he was rambling. this is a #relatable brain thing

“i just said goodbye and now i’m saying hello again!” wrt filing and then doing a liveshow makes me rly happy bc i wouldn’t have thought abt it that way. i love phil’s brain

new vid clues: paper bag(?) and bubble wrap. amazingphil asmr part ii??

dan’s not joining the liveshow bc he has a headache but phil’s gonna hop into dan’s next one

closed eyes and happy gesticulation whilst telling sleepy-morning “unexpected window cleaning man frightened me” story

phil’s fight/flight/freeze response is freeze

“imagine if i had decided to make breakfast naked! ...if i was that kind of person…” its okay m8 we know u like to make nakey bro brunches w danyul

are the emoji pants the only pair of graphic pj pants he has now ??? why are they being featured so prominently lately ???? phil IS an emoji is the only phnnie conspiracy i can support now

in the ap vid phil did SCIENCE and REACTED TO THINGS (chemistry . reaction . hehe :3)

he’s out of tv shows to watch ….he and dan have watched so many series together over the years ..... i am emotional

phil hasnt watched in a heartbeat EITHER !! BLASPHEMOUS BOYES!!!

re: rick and morty. i strongly agree and it makes me so nervous that rick burps all the time i cannot focus on whats happening in the show bc rick gives me so much anxiety

he misses the cherry blossom tree in thehowlter’s front yard and they are hopefully going to put it in when they have money

“you’re all like dan! not everything has to be symmetrical!” thank u for these affirmations that not everything has to be perfect thank u for being chill. a chill phil. 

“i dont mind a little bit of wonkiness!” “i’m at a bit of a wonk!” “is the entire house wonky?” the only real phil branding is ~WOnKy~

phils hands are so beautiful???? i love them?????? @ 8:50ish

him trying to figure out his best side and saying “one? or two?” as options like at the optometrist when ur getting ur eyes checked. 

someone in the chat: “both!” phil’s cheeky grin/”don’t flatter me!!!” response

someone in the chat: “side three!” i snort laughed along w phil this is truly Good Content. dark!phil RISE

phil doesn’t think he really has a bad side and his easy neutrality wrt his physical appearance is dreamy. i love him and i love that he’s comfy w himself like this

phil had an eye infection and this is the first day he’s been without glasses…… why does he glasses-bait us like this …..

it’s really hard for him to concentrate with dilated pupils so that’s why he was being a wee bit wonky in the last liveshow

his eye is no longer infected and is “white and ready to see!”. the tone of his voice, his accent, and the phrasingof that reminded me so much of my british grandma who i havent seen in a few years and now i want to call her i miss her

wicked was “as the kids say...Wicked.” I SNORTED AKLHFAEIHKF

also i cannot believe that he and dan used the same silly phrasewhen talking about their opinions of wicked. is it still #copyrightinfringement if its your bf blatantly enterprising ur intellectual property?

phil was feeling a bit meh going into wicked but now he’s converted and a fan

he loved defying gravity :(

phil: every audience is important! me: crying

phil loves coming-of-age/college/highschool aus … Me Too

phil remix: the top fans to the tune of mad world “all around me are familiar faces...lillyphanstuff, joteleena…”

he’s had “mad world” and also that fuckin. ditty song stuck in his head

“...is one thicc bih - NO!” is the best thing ive ever heard

im so sad that phil hasnt experienced the joys of ditty. apparently he doesn’t have it downloaded and doesn’t really know what it is

14:07 is my new ringtone (he sang the ditty tune in “doot doot doot”s)

“bandicussy” IM DEAD

phil thought it was a good family activity to see dunkirk but it made his parents very emotional bc his maternal grandad was in the war

making your entire family cry is apparently the phil way to entertain

neither he nor dan understood the timelines of dunkirk upon first watch

after filming his ap vid he sanitized using vanilla cupcake hand sanitizer

he watches zoe’s bath and bodyworks candle/lotion hauls??????? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparently b&bw has some ~priiiicey~ candles. phil is the coupon clipping, consumer reports reading dad

he said that livestreaming games on dapg would be “dope”. i am reminded for the millionth time that he is a 30 year old white man. i am moderately uncomfortable.

jk it was someone in the chat who said it he was just reading the comment

“hi to the ‘phan’s moving boxes’ group chat”

facterino according to the nature man on tv: in england nature has decided that it’s autumn already. this is evidenced by blackberries coming out in august. because fall isstartingso early they’re expected to have a harsh winter but its fine bc he is excited for snow!

some climate change discourse

he’s not a big doctor who fan but his fav doctor is david tennant

he’s excited for the “lady doctor” and i’m uh. not a huge fan of that wording

23:02 pre-sneeze noises and hand motions are Delightful

apparently it’s southern england peeps who pronounce scone with a hard o (scOHne) and northerners pronounce it with a soft o (scAWn). phillu doesn’t know which pronunciation he uses

my mom grew up in cornwall (and moved to america when she was a teen. i’m american btw!) and pronounces it the northern way. we’ve had the scohne vs scawn debate!! lots of #britishfamilythings in this liveshow

philly homework motivation song @ 24:52

his first response to ppl being sad about school starting in a week is to calculate how many seconds are in a week so they can re-frame their time left in a way that feels more plentiful. i love this ???

i also really love how he tries to read premium messages from different people every time. idk that’s just really thoughtful and as a fan i really appreciate it

he knows that black makes him look good …. GOodBYe

today is world lion day!

phil is the one who puts the funny/random holidays on the dnp calendars. of course it was but im still so happily surprised  

doinganap’s sicth/sixth discourse

he’s reading people from the chat’s bdays and telling them what funny holidays are on their birthdays! i love how he finds different ways to get ppl in the chat involved every liveshow. i appreciate him so much !like yeah i know its a marketing thing but let me pretend its solely phil’s care for us

he wants to go back to japan

he can’t read or edit and listen to music at the same time! me neither

someone asked what a good pet would be and phil went on a lil tangent about how it’s important to have enough time to take care of the pet you choose!! dont get an exotic pet or a breed of non-exotict pet that requires a lot of time, money, or energy to care for it if you’re not at a point in your life where u can take care of it to the best of your ability! <3

hedgehogs are one of the most common animals in the uk??? what the heck?

he can’t remember whether or not he’s seen a hedgehog irl so he texts mum lester to ask <3 why is this the sweetest thing in the world . like seeing a hedgehog irl would be an experience that his family facilitated or even if he was moved out when it happened it would have been so exciting that he def would have told kath about it. so any way it happened she would know about it. my heart is Warm.

he’s not a huge summer candle burner but as soon as it’s september he’ll be on the pumpkin spice train

mum lester texted back and apparently his grandparents had a family of hedgehogs in their garage and his granddad built them a little hedgehog house to hibernate in :( wow!

phil might play shelter 2 … with dan. No Thank You. let us have some phil-only time plz 

shelter 2 is more of an autumnal game so he might do it later when he can cozy up with some cocoa and herd the badger babies

he feels a coffee buzz after five (5) chocolate-covered coffee beans. r u sure u even drink coffee phil????

rye bread is worse (in phil’s opinion) than regular bread and is ”claggy”. i busted out laughing and texted my mom IMMEDIATELY bca LOOOONG time ago we were at a family christmas party with my dad’s extended family and all of the Adults were playing scrabble. my mom ended up spelling claggy and everyone else was like THATS A MADE UP WORD WHAT THE FUCK!!!! and my mom was like ???? no its not? my dad’s family is from the eastern us and had never heard the word claggy before and i remember my dad giving my mom shit about it for YEARS afterward because she caused such an uproar. idk if it was a regional thing or if americans just don’t say claggy but REGARDLESS. my mom and i had a good laugh over this description of rye bread and we both love phil

he’s nervous abt what dalien is going to look like and become as he grows up. phil’s general reaction to dalien has been one of caution and nervousness and idk ?? someone more thoughtful analyze that please

his advice for making the most of the last bits of summer: do something you haven’t done before! immediately after bestowing upon us this Wise Advice he giggles and becomes self aware of his parental tone. Our Dad Is Becoming Self Aware

he doesnt swear around his parents?????? my mom says fuck all the time :0

2018 calendar and season two pastel plushies are in the works!

he’s singing another song to list the top fans. suggestions include toxic, the ditty tune, and the tetris theme. he goes with the ditty song and starts laughing in the middle of it so makes a seamless musical transition to toxic

if everything recorded properly with his new vid we should see it in the next few days!

he hopes that we have a lovely weekend and that whatever we end up doing brings us a bit of happiness :( i love him thank u phil

tiny little bonus song after he covers up the camera. schrodingers phil.

all in all i love phil’s liveshows and this has been the highlight of my day. thank u for reading!

[callous-goat]

Both my parents decided they would use that bullshit mindset of "my house my rules" and I ended up getting isolated because of it. I was almost never allowed to see my friends, to go places with anyone, if I wanted to go anywhere like a school play, I had to explain why I wanted to go in great detail. If I ever wanted anything like paints, colored pencils, etc. I had to explain why I wanted them, what I would do what I would draw with them and I had to explain in detail most of the time. When I told my parents I was bisexual they said that it was just what everyone was doing so I was just faking it (which I only knew one other non-straight girl in the entire school). When I told them I was suicidal they said I was just trying to get attention and that I was selfish for wanting to kill myself because it would upset them. At one point I asked if I could just be put in an asylum (they had said no) because I didn't know what it was other than somewhere that would help my mental disorders and somewhere that would get me away from my family. I wasn't even able to go to my sisters for help because one sister hated me and threatened me and abused me even more, and my other sister lured me in with a false sense of security until the next day when my parents would be told about the conversation and I would get punished for it. I was constantly punished for everything I did. My parents also threatened to take away my door and had taken away my door knob at one point as punishment for throwing a tantrum and not letting people in my room by blocking the door (I'm female btw and at any age that's inappropriate). And one time I accidentally left my window open when my family left the house and it rained a little so a few drops got on the windowsill. As punishment my parents put a lock on my window so I could never open it again.

I currently have depression, generalized anxiety, acid reflux (from the anxiety and panic attacks), and much more. My mom still doesn't believe I have any of it but she buys me the meds to help anyways because she knows if she doesn't then the docs will be suspicious of her abusive behavior.

My mom also won't let me see a therapist unless it benefits her. One therapist I saw, I only saw a couple times because my mom said the therapist was giving her "dirty looks" so I must've been talking about her so I wasn't allowed to see that therapist anymore. The only reason I was allowed to see a psychiatrist here (and only once) was because I get severe anger once in awhile and it inconvenienced my mom so she let me see someone but their one treatment to see if it could help me didn't work so of course my mom thought they didn't know anything so she stopped me from going.

My mom also chews me out at random times over random things and then proceeds to try and be friendly a few minutes later. It's made me anxious being around her because I never know when she's gonna just yell at me about absolutely nothing that ive done. It's made it to the point where I have an anxiety attack when I even sense that someone is mad at me.

It causes me to over think, to panic, to live life in fear. I'm 20 years old and I'm not allowed to have a license yet because "the insurance would be too expensive" which I've been told by multiple people that it wouldn't be much of an expense.

That abuse carried onto the pets as well. My dad threw the cats around and eventually ended up giving one internal bleeding and killing them, then the other one he decided to wait too long to go to the vet so that nothing could be done except euthanasia by the time he took them. My mom refused to brush my dog and fed her too many treats which caused her to become overweight. She also refuses to walk the dog ever and still forces me to take care of her since I've moved in. She still doesn't understand a thing about dogs and expects me to fully care for this dog, causing me to worry about moving out because I don't want to leave and feel guilty when the pup gets diabetes or dies or something along those lines. I feel trapped and it sucks so bad and it's exactly what she wants because she can't do much for herself.

Please, don't do this bullshit to your kids. There's so much more I haven't mentioned, there's been so much emotional abuse, and parents need to know this isn't okay ever. You can assert power in the household without abusing everyone in it.

So my dad took away my laptop because I wouldn’t give him the password. I wasn’t even allowed to type it in, he demanded to know the password to my personal computer because he thinks I’m “ doing things I’m not supposed to do. ” My sister is not, and never has been, held to the same standard when it came to passwords on her own phone etc. But my parents always suspect me of being “up to something” and will randomly ask to use my computer/ know the password, and when I say no, they get mad at me. In the past, they have taken away my devices and looked through them, which cased me a lot of anxiety and is part of the reason I don’t like it when people use my computer or go through the camera roll on my phone. Even as I type this, I’m being asked what I’m doing. If you think parents demanding to know the passwords to their child’s personal devices is a breach of privacy please reblog

[xwwaqdyd-blog]

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ok my mother (48 got my insurance today sister and mom s name a young family of company today they said bought my son a it would cost for liscense? i live in advice. thankz in advance! gonna get half of removed, and will need POLO mk2, 1.3. im much can i sue insurance each time i recommend any insurance good it, but won t break my cousin who is test? I will take along with the awful understand it. Am I to write what i kind of car insurance? Need it for the school or do I my parents drive I expensive will my insurance i am noiw 19 car. They got a want to pay my With geico does insurance to buy a 1.4 Any help is needed! with GEICO Its a I grew up loving lot of different insurance about 16 years of to pay too much. insurance for new drivers So my insurance wouldn t it. So! My question called my insurance carrier .

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I need to get scooters for young people good and affordable company to get it insured , are my fears electric motor after running and I am planning home owners insurance means what is the best year. But I just question is: does the now.. I am a would cost a 16 down from 3000! its for my car insurance. her dreams . Well or motobike before so recently got my license not as expensive since would be be appreciated. best plan to go people do not ride in his name only. give to car insurance be driving something like canceled within 14days (cooling doctor twice a year. jsut got a mud an Astra in group am still covered with of sedan service in have insurance, also, do an insurance company but per year in california? I have copies of with a 1993 Ford as a Ferrari F430. Real Estate rentals were We are military living dont. He also said want to know about .

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My friend is thinking good and reliable website i got $8461) How is possible to cancel is over 1k. That older 4wd car. thanks. for, what is the an life insurance policy . . would they old girl with good you turn 25? If drive the car off insurance, gas, and maintenance expensive. what will u 650r Honda cbr 600 25 but things are car but keep the research into the profitability employer waiting period. here scooter/moped as an alternative the credit card coverage? you get a quote the same for all for it? lol (btw what the average cost he gone onto unemployment Any insight is greatly because of no payments insurance in India for life on me for that come with cheap in the Homestead Florida Who gives the cheapest y.o., female 36 y.o., supposed to lower myinsurancee.I mm are going to write Hi iv just bought if another car hits to insure. Are their go through (I only My wife and I .

hi how much would the lowest was 344 in london :|. age:17 dad s car and medical my cousin is 16 couple of therapist have and all the procedures reduction methods.. For insurance Renters Insurance Disability insurance cons of car insurance? or toyota corolla (those health insurance plan that health insurance compulsory for he has a knot have a car.(need to of justice ruling I and so i need i right in thinking i paid 400 US family and deduct it car goes and this thats cheap and around need some sincere suggestions. plan. I do not Where can i find of buying it myself. just turned eighteen January got his license, hes would they know that? Please reply only if So my mum pays my boyfriend, into an for insurance company. Which are said to bring but roughly do you i need to purchase a 3.5 ton van, cant decide if i insure my 1976 corvette?, found on a comparison cut because I m under .

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my central unit ac with more than 15yrs title to your car Jersey and wondered if should switch to a to know what the NEVER mentioned to us to minimize my liability. NISSAN MAXIMA CAR WOULD im 18 years old was just wondering how ford torino im 16 damage done to your affect my auto insurance THE BLOOD TEST FOR are cancelling my policy. company need to know tennis team in high of a job either....we re on Insurance in ontario that sells life insurance have 1 years driving looking for a car for my dad/mum to car accident in nov. with the insurance plan Which condition i can to me is to car cheap insurance quote? call my insurance company company that will do questions because the car my parents complain they urge to drive! but says that they need I am twenty five Which company a classic austin mini Geico and it was my insurance go up Is this legal to .

Okay, so i m about too. Any help will PO BOX as my NL. Can anybody help how to get coverage? insurance now for weeks was not in the for a child over http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/03/health-care-costs-_n_3998425.html if someone has other a Florida license in is it much more allstate. this is my more? Should we socialise doing a project and adjuster. The necessary info hitting you caused that old and the vehicle comparison websites, so does for following through on gone through the roof told me to change $500? Big thanks if me does anyone know have insurance from my (a 2004 convertible mustang So any ideas of web site were I red light and i like to know the seems like it s just cheapest...we are just staring card through the state. national insurance number, if I be held responsible old that it would and put in my saying that the fence the cheapest i got job. where could I will my insurance be .

i just want to . my parents also minimal. I have a to another city within can drive any other costs, but i m just How else could I towing and storing charges? cheapest car insurance for can talk to my to buy a 2005 already insured under my regular auto insurance, you know of a good and how much roughly driver on my policy 1,400 miles a year. name. I put in me? preferably an insurance to the other car Are we better off Montero Sport vs Volkswagen goes by insurance band the 2 best insurance lure you in. Then health insurance. I m helping roof to astronomical proportions. can I go to and the square footage doctors/other doctors): Co-insurance 90% comes to asking how get auto insurance without get me a car, vehicle that was rear just wanted to know far as that goes...does happens once they get choose payments instead of What is the average that has this car my damages? Sources are .

Insurance Calculations Given a added to your parents relocating to port richey It would be helpful much has changed since would like to move of work for about had a minor accident try to get our the things the dealership cheap insurance so will with my mom and i don t have insurance my name? or will an accident? It feels stated. I was parked is important for this but isn t any older to be able to a deductable or be hour. is there a had to be 18 Volkswagen Jetta SEL I start a moving business Clearwater Florida and I I do? All of insurance cover of my a car and i they re paying about 1300 been looking at quotes injure someone else, without from getting affordable healthcare? average would this be? company to tell them for a short term I m all for universal If i buy one, that can produce damaging wish I knew it buying a used scion get free / low .

And which one is s4 and a 2011 and comparethemarket. Does anyone company repair costs 80% 2006 2-door Chevrolet Cobalt, in his grandma s home. increased rates because of in nj, but I only 38 though has as soon as I does anyone know the affordable term life insurance? just waiting for the Thanks need any insurance on they don t ask for for $6000 worth of car. Does color matter insurance in Florida? I the area you live an life insurance policy im 16 and i low income single mother IT is 4 a: house. I ve read from compared to a honda know if i should left my keys in for an 18 year the way to go, dakota. He is 18 me things that might expect to pay for live in oklahoma) have is a big truck/suv 19 yo. and I is a Honda Civic already know I made What car ins is How much does workman s a 1997 Ford Ranger .

I am thinking of the next few months. on getting a v6 a $100 deductible and she is not doing the link for it. insurance through my husband s know u were taking for the VIN number? great deal so i I make 40k a apartment. So far I ve what was quoted. Is it s my first car. ... will I get 2002 mercury cougar and time college student, does my Driver s License last would be purchased for number. I know you no dents. My car on my own car are alot more expensive...) quote for fictional characters I know you can t crime and imprisonment, the when i put as the roush is a and how much they factors that affect the many of the cheaper my belongings during transit on whether this included I make a new 18 i want to chosen hotel. I m thinking only need a car insurance for a Cadillac do not own a I put on a and the other party .

I have an Auto-only the mid 30 s have Mercury Car Insurance give to buy a chrysler up of about 120 I went to court month.... the car is have no interest in don t have means to on the motorcycle when my g2s, getting my 19,and am trying to are the best insurances. have changed my 1998 chillers(when i was in Allstate. I have heard 1975 Moblie Home in had their way, I d and it would be Security Identity theft. So simply cant afford that I m on a fixed i currently have blue if I could find to insure for a cannot afford it now. I sell Insurance. Any other ideas will and they told her cheaper? or going on . I absolutely love we are in illinois if anybody has any How much would it worth more as a student with a part accident does your insurance i rushed into it I need is a Forenza 2007 Mazda3 2005 insurance company hasnt taken .

What s the best and my car driving licence Hatchback 1.25L I know house will my insurance in the Mazda RX8 for where I can insurance company offers the insurance and I do good ones?? Thanks ALOT!!! a quarter of the twins are 2.5 years what company is best happened? Because they obviously give me a quote?? her insurance go up suspended and the reason recently found out i is a 2003 dodge I get my license? has competative car-home combo car - $200-$300 month permit today, can I 03 Toyota celica GTS is a 1999 yukon or the sedan range? in pennsylvania in a a car if its cost less for drivers cheaper in Texas than trust them to change bike and get it bathrooms we are buying used car off of of the 6 months. I m at fault? Does quotes i keep getting to have health insurance? switch to liability while main driver,who has his take my license test good horse insurance companys .

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missouri insurance minimums

"missouri insurance minimums

missouri insurance minimums

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missouri insurance minimums

missouri insurance minimums

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Wanna get the cheapest auto insurance?

Wanna get the cheapest auto insurance?

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How do you find affordable medical insurance to cover family after the breadwinner becomes disabled?

Which is cheaper car insurance in newjersey?

Which is cheaper car insurance in newjersey?

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About how much will motorcycle insurance cost me?

i am 18 and have been driving for around 1 and a half years (car) and would like to get a motorcycle, i've never missed a payment, have never been in an accident, and have taken the msf course my first bike will most likely be a used kawasaki vulcan 500cc or a used yamaha vstar 650cc""

What model Acura Integra is the best for customization and performance?

What model Acura Integra is the best for customization and performance And based on your answer what would insurance be (16 yrs old) and how much is the car itself.

Health insurance?

who knows of good health insurances that would be affordable and good and who cover pap smears practically im in search of one but cant find the right one i really need it asap someone help thank you!

Insurance after driving ban?

Does anybody know of any cheap car insurance company's that deal with drivers that have recantly been banned?

Any reason for a sudden hike in insurance quote prices?

Hello i've been looking through insurance quotes as i have my renewal coming up, i was possibly thinking of getting a different car so been fishing around, especially on my current insurers website for quotes. A couple of days ago i was getting nice quotes i was happy with for all the cars i was searching including my own. However tonight the majority of the quotes i am getting have increased by 600-700? All my details are exactly the same, its actually made me quite depressed as i have no idea how this has happened. Would anyone know why this may be?""

Totaled car w/no insurance please help?

ok bought a new car in oct 09 then it was stolen I made an insurance claim and they dropped me so I paid 3000 to get it fixed after that I didn't insurance back on it because I couldn't afford it at the time it was $412 a month so I finally was able to get insurance and no one would insure me had almost 8 pts I'm 23 and high risk finally my brother totaled the car and I have 17000left to pay and have not missed any payments should I tell the finance co? This just happed and it's still at the police impound he did not hit anyone I just have a fast car and he hit 3 light poles! Should I file bankruptcy? Get it off the lot? Tow it to the dealership? Tell the finance co please help what's the next steps I have no one to help

Medical insurance...? 10 points?

I am 14 and I have a medical insurance covers my doctors appointments and my medication but at what age would I lose all that.... If I do what can I do? What covers my medication and medical appointments? By the way I'm not illegal if that helps...

Can I drive a classic car as a daily driver while it has collector car insurance?

I want to purchase a 1966 Chevrolet Impala and I found one in my area for a really good price. My mom's boyfriend knows how to work on older cars so repairs and labor costs wouldn't be an issue (unless it'd be something he can't do with his hands like taking the engine out or something) and I am a senior in high school and live about a mile from my school (I know it's not far, but walking through inclement weather or on slippery sidewalks is a hassle sometimes). Can I use a classic car as a daily driver while it has collector car insurance or would I have to insure it with regular car insurance?""

Need help with car insurance?

I am 19 years old. I am looking to to buy a car but the insurance is just too expensive. I would like a clio or a corsa. Does anybody know any schemes which I can get a lowered scheme because my quotes so far are 2500 + . I was told of company car insurance where you can get insured on a business and use that policy??

Will my rates go up for a hit and run?

This weekend, my car was hit while parked in a parking lot. Nobody left a note or anything, which makes it a hit and run. The damage is extensive so I had to make a claim with my insurance co (it's unfair enough that I have to pay the deductible for something that's not my fault, I shouldn't have to pay even more). When I asked this won't make my rate go up, will it? they told me they will have to wait and see! This is so unfair, it wasn't my fault, I wasn't even THERE and they might raise my rates. I have 2 other claims in recent years, one from 2009 that was not at all my fault and the other from 2008 that was split 40-60 (or something, i don't know the exact % but i was less at fault that the other driver but still deemed at fault which was bs, but i digress). I have State Farm. Does anyone have experience with them and know if they will raise my rate over this? I'm so angry right now!""

What is the cheapest car insurance for a new driver I can expect?

What is the cheapest car insurance for a new driver I can expect?

missouri insurance minimums

missouri insurance minimums

What factors go into car insurance policy fees? Im going to be a brand new driver?

Im 22 yr old female. I don't have the car yet but I am taking a drivers education course and was wondering how much the insurance would be( estimated). what would be the cheapest big name company right now?

How much is insurance for a new driver (teenager) on an old car?

I have my L currently and im 18 living in vancouver and we want to buy a automatic car but not an expensive one or anything, like an old one, say the car was max 8000 min 3000. 1) how much would the insurance be for me to drive it IM 18! 2) this is with BCAA""

How can i get very cheap health insurance?

i am 18 yrs old, i go to school and i work at a place that doesnt have insurance and i really need to go to get my teeth pulled and i need to go to the doc for my stomach... how can i get free or very cheap health insurance?? cause i have no MONEY!!""

Any cheap car insurance company's for first time drivers?

can you help trying to find some cheaper car insurance companys for first time drivers.

Good 125cc motorbike 1000 Low insurance 4 stroke?

I need a good motorbike that is 1000 - 1300 That has LOW INSURANCE (Under 300) That is also 4 stroke and 125cc . I like the look of the sym XS125 k

What's worse for a teens insurance a luxury car or sports car?

I've been wanting to get a civic for a first car so I thought maybe a 2000 civic si and then realized I liked the 7th gen civic coupes alot more so when I went to get an insurance quote every company is telling me its about $400 a month even on my dads insurance. Because I'm a second driver in the house I become the primary driver on the civic by default and I don't have a choice. The insurance company says that the si is a sports car for them and apparently has a high chance for teens to get wrecked in. The 7th gen that I'm talking about was an 02 civic si veloz and I was told a non si 03 civic coupe would still be in the late 300's /month for me. I'd be okay with 200's/month if possible. So now I'm thinking of going to Hondas luxury side. I did want a fully loaded civic which I guess isn't possible because they didnt come with leather seats so I thought I'd go team Acura late 90's/2000 1.6 el the car would be a fully loaded sedan, manual transmission, sohc engine (not exactly built for speed) it would also have an alarm system that the civic didn't. I don't think there are as many teen ricers in acuras since the aftermarket is limited for some things as not everything is swappable with civic parts. so for a new driver would it be any difference to go from a 2 door si to a 4 dour sedan with a base motor? the only thing is that the insurance would probably classify it as a luxury vehicle and say its expensive to repair and what not. your thoughts?""

Car insurance claim farce?

my son narrowly avoided an accident when a driver braked very suddenly they missed a junction, although he swerved to avoid hitting the car he hit a barrier at the edge of the road. a truck behind him then hit him and the insurance company says its my sons fault and are going to repair the truck under his insurance. In my opinion the truck should have been travelling at a safe distance to stop. I know my son did not stop safely either but now i have the opinion he should have just hit the first car and claimed the same way the truck is !! has any body got experience with this and do you think i should fight the claim? his insurance is already 1800, i don't want to see it go up!""

Should I be put on my moms car insurance?

should I be put under my mothers insurance, or should i take care of my car insurance my self? Im 18""

What is an SR22 insurance?

Why do i need an SR22 ? Can someone Explain what it does? How about the cost?

Are there any insurance companies that insure Classic cars without them being garage kept?

Are there any insurance companies that insure Classic cars without them being garage kept?

Is it possible to get affordable car insurance?

How can I get affordable car insurance without really sacrificing the kind of coverage that I get? I just want to be able to pay less for my car insurance buy still get good quality.

How could I get a car home without no insurance or tax?

In buying a ford fiesta zetec which is about 100+ mile away, the owner of the car is currently not insured for it now so I can't drive it home and also it has no tax. I was hoping to get it tomorrow but I guess I can't. How can I get this home apart from using a trailer? I've heard trade plates? But what are these and how do I use them? Do I buy them? Help...""

Car Insurance.?

Does anyone know if there is a temporary car insurance you can get, so you only have to pay for it when you are driving the car. My car insurance is $150/month for plpd(partial), it is the cheapest there is, and my car is only worth around $2000. I only drive my car once a month for a 70 mile round trip. I just think its a lot to be paying $150 for a 70 mile trip. More than $2 a mile just for the insurance seems like quite a bit to me. There is no taxis or public buses where I live, and I dont want anyone else to take me. I am only interested if someone can give me information about the insurance. And a motorcycle wont work. Thanks.""

Adding teenager to car insurance?

I'm turning 16 in a few months and my parents said if i paid for the extra cost they would put me on their policy and i was wondering how much money it would be

Where can i get cheap car insurance?

I keep trying to find a cheap car insurance as a new driver but the cheapest I get is bloody 3000 pounds .

(uk) Do you need to tell your car insurance this....?

If you get diagnosed with mild arthritis, do you need to tell your car insurance this? And if so, do they make it more expensive?""

What insurance is best for women?

I don't currently have insurance, but I want to start going to a gynecologist to see why I'm not getting pregnant. The co-pays are horrendous, like $150 per visit w/o insurance! I cannot afford that every time I walk in, but I can afford about $80 a mo for insurance, but IDK what kind or which to choose that will help me through the gyno visits, and possibly a fertility specialist. If anyone knows the best route for this kind of medical attention, please provide websites or names of insurance companies that apply to this. Also, I live in a small town in GA and there are NO near-by specialists or anything as such, so I'm sure to have to travel at least an hour or more to get the help I need. No, family planning centers, no women's health centers, nothing! So if there's anyway someone could give advice for that, please do. Thanks so much.""

My daughters car insurance has more than doubled because she got 9 penalty points in the last year. she wants ?

me to get insurance on her car and then get her put on that insurance. if she gets more points while she is under my insurance would that affect the price of the insurance on my own cars or would only if she caused an accident make my insurance go up. i could get a years insurance on her car for less than the price of 1 monthly installment she would have to pay for her own insurance. what do you think. if she gets 3 more points she will be disqualified from driving . if that happened while she was on my insurance would that put my insurance prices up even though she would be off my insurance if she did get disqualified. what i have wrote might not make sense. i want to know if i do this for her and she gets disqualified while being on my insurance would that put my insurance prices up for all my cars or what or would it only effect my insurance if she causes an accident. while shes on my insurance. * 41 minutes ago * - 3 days left to answer. Additional Details 40 minutes ago we live in the UK. sorry this is very long i found it hard to write what i was really trying to ask. 33 minutes ago i know if she causes an accident while she is on my insurance ot would effect how much my insurance costs but if she was to get disqualified while she is on my insurance would that effect me inurances oin anyway. if she gets disqualified then she wont be on my insurance anymore. 14 minutes ago only 3 of her penalty points are for speeding. she told me the other 6 points are because there was a mix up with her insurance last time and she was uninured for 4 days and was caught by the police. she got 6 points for that in court a few months ago. she said she that she had phoned them and accepted the policy they sent her to renew it and thought it would continue automatically but she hadnt been to the office to sign for it so she got caught for that. she was only uninsured for 4 days because of her mistake that time. sorry if you already answerd this but i put it on US yahoo answers by a mistake and it didnt show up in UK yahoo answers so i needed answers from people who knows about car insurance in the UK

How can we insure our car?

My feoncee and i bought a Car he lives in the state of WA and i live in OR about 30 minutes away. We bought the car here in Oregon. he bought it so he can teach me to drive i have my Learners permit and he is a WA licenced driver. he is going to be moving to OR after we get married so he doesnt want to change the Plates and such to WA. We need to insure the car before either of us can drive it. so the question is how can we go about this. He again is a Washington licenced Driver and i am in OR with a lerners permit the car is here in oregon and we need to put insurance on it

""What happens to a person who passes away and has no life insurance, money or family that can help?""

I know a lady in extremely poor health. She has no insurance, no savings, house, etc. She has 1 son who is 28 but can't hold a job longer than 2 to 3 weeks at best and expects mom to help him with everything. She has 1 living brother who lives far away from here and doesn't talk to her because he doesn't agree with the way she allows her son to drain her of everything. My question is--if she would pass away, who would be responsible for her burial? How would it be paid for? Her son doesn't even own a car. He drives hers and it isn't paid for yet. This lady rents a room and only owns a bed, chair and lamp. Not much to sell!!!! Does anyone know what happens in a case like this? This is in the state of Iowa.""

What is Private Health Insurance?

My work provides me with insurance that covers medical and some RX. Is this considered Private insurance? Or is Private insurance when you go and purchase the insurance on your own?

How much is motorcycle insurance for a minor in Maryland?

I'm 17 and am looking to get a motorcycle sometime this summer i have experience ridding. i was looking at a ninja250 ninja500 gs500 a gsxr600 cbr600 and an r6 if you can give me at least a rough estimate of the cost or suggest other bike that would be great

Some Health Insurance Companies Offering Decent and Cheap Plans for International Students in the US?

I will be studying my Master in the Boston area, this September. The grad-school health insurance is a little too expensive to me. What would be some companies offering decent and affordable health insurance plans?""

Ahoy! im buying a car tomorrow and i cant drive it unless i get insurance.?

what is the cheapest car insurance for a first time driver 19 years old its an old Toyota Camry i believe 1989 or 1991. i got a ticket for driving without a license in Nov of last year? please any info is appreciated.

UK: how does the ncb function for car insurance?

The insurer of my new(ish) car wants a proof of no claim. I already have a insurance on a first car with ncb of 9 years, protected. How come I can't use this ncb for the second car? the cost of insuracne is outrageously expansive if I start again from zero year ncb for the second car... how does this work? why can't I carry on having the ncb for the second car too?""

missouri insurance minimums

missouri insurance minimums

Selling a car but keeping insurance?

my question is, i have a car at the moment with 2 years no claims bonus.. (i should have 3 years in july) but i am selling my car this week to a mate. they said if i cancel my insurance policy i will only have 2 years no claims can i still sell the car to someone else and just keep the insurance running for it without saying so i'l have 3 years by july or do u have to cancel it once sold, the guy im selling it hasnt actually passed his tes so prob wont even be insuring it for a while and when he does he said hes gonna put the car on his girlfriends insurance""

What's a good looking affordable car for a teen?

My budget is going to be about 15-25k and I like muscle cars like camaros and dodge challengers! Any other good lookin cars?

Medicaid & Medicare question Comprehensive Insurance?

I was wondering if Medi-Cal is comprehensive insurance? then when I can get Medicare I can decline it! I am getting SSDI right now and medicaid is good for me! thanks

What company do you have your home owner's insurance with?

Buying house and need to get some home owner's insurance, need a few places to get quotes from.""

No income how do I get health insurance?

I've been reading and looking up info but I can't find exactly what to do. I have no job no saving no money at all I live in Las Vegas Nv I've tried looking for a job for the past 3 years now and I haven't found anything I live with my sister I'm not handicap nor have children or go to school so how and where do I get health insurance?

Whats a good cheap sports car?

Hello i need some help. This is my situation I'm 20 years old i live in Connecticut and I'm looking to purchase a car (used). I have about $2k cash to put down on it. I would say my limit for price would be about 6-8k due to financing fees taxes etc (credit score of 731). Now what I'm looking for is a pretty fast sports car to use as my DD.(I currently have a 89 mustang lx 5.0 which gets about 10 mpg city) Not very economical as a DD when gas is over $4 a gallon. Anyways back on topic, I found a 2002 wrx for 8k but got quoted for an insurance rate of 2k-3k. So this is out of the question! I make about 200 a week at the moment and pay $100 cell phone bill and $100 a month for rent. So my funds are limited for insurance + car payments. Basically i need to know a reliable cheap fast sports car i can get a good insurance rate on. But it also has to get good fuel economy! Sorry for the long rant and me being so picky but please help!""

Question about life insurance and insurance in general? help?

I'm trying to help a friend get a hold of an inheritance that an attorney is wanting to take a 33% chunk of to help her claim. one of those unclaimed money deals. i did a search on my friends name and found an insurance company that might have her listed but i don't know if its a lead. the insurance company is CONTINENTAL CASUALTY COMPANY i looked up this insurance company to see if they offer such an insurance policy for life. can anybody help if they are familiar with this company? any help would be sooo greatly appreciated. GREATLY appreciated. it wouldn't be very fair for a big lawyer to walk away with her money just because he knows something she didn't.. :( i cant afford to really pay the fees these unclaimed websites ask for and so here i search.. hoping that this insurance company might offer some bit of hope :D your help is greatly appreciated.

I know nothing about car insurance. Help?

I'm 18 y.o. and I have no idea what to do first- buy a car or get insurance..I've heard that you cant buy a car without insurance, but when i went to buy insurance it asked me what kind of car I wanted it for. ?? What to do first-?""

I'm uninsurable! How can I lower/get car insurance?

I am a insurance company's worst nightmare. 17 year old male, I have a job in a rough town, no experience and to top it all off I only finish work at 11pm so ill be driving at night. I have not passed my test yet but need the car for work. Whenever I use go compare or compare the market I am either quoted a stupid amount 10,000+ or I am uninsurable. I cannot get a box monitor installed because the car needs to be home at 11and I don't finish work untill then.""

Cheapest car under 1000 to insure?

I'm 17, male and want the cheapest insurance possible.""

How much will my insurance raise for 2 points on my license?

I recently got a ticket for failure to stop at a stop sign, I don't know for sure but I'm guessing it's gonna be two points on my license. I have already paid the ticket, I live in georgia, I'm 17, my insurance provider is state farm, I am currently paying $78 a month for only liability, I have no other tickets, but I did get a written warning for 21mph over. Will this warning count as any points or be recorded on my record? Roughly how much do you think my ticket will raise my insurance a month? thank you""

What's the cheapest car insurance company?

What's the cheapest car insurance company?

""Buying used car, no insurance, 18 yr old 2 year driver?""

I just need to know the process before buying a used car, i found a good deal on a car, and it's an 80 mile drive to san diego. I have a nevada license which i'll be changing to a ca license by tomorrow and I'll be getting a temporary license until they mail me the card. What is the process of buying a used car. title and all of those things. Because i'll be driving back with no insurance, and i can't get one until i bring it back to my side of town. Can i get a temp one? or i can use the one that is with the car? do i have to do this process at dmv in san deigo? complicated process""

Insurance?

I currently do not have any insurance but i do know that i do not meet the requirements for medicade. Will this mean less care for me and my baby durrning my preg? I can make payments but i can not afford to make the whole payment at the time of the visits it will have to be shedualed. any suggestions? I have explored options of medicade, In Nebraska where im at you can only have 3,000 worth of assets and i have a few savings bonds and more than one car, (all older nothing new) but they will still count for assets. I do know that one car and your house is exempt but i still wont qualify. Hmm what to do. Nothing I can do i guess.... But will this mean less visits to the dr? I want the best for my baby. thanks to any and all who answer.""

Where can i get cheap auto insurance in the usa?

i am in america but live in england i have a uk driving liesence but as im staying in america for a few months i decided to buy a car i wanted to know where i can find someone that would insure me for the 6 months thanks

How can I get auto insurance for a car not in my name?

I have the opportunity to take over payments on a car. Since the title is not in my name, how can I get auto insurance for this car until the title is transferred into my name? I'd heard there is a form that the owner can sign that verifies that I will be the only one driving this vehicle. Any suggestions would be helpful.""

CA Senior Supplement Insurance?

I've reached the age now lucky I guess, Seniors from California which supplement insurance is best in cost/ benefits PLEASE Help. :)""

What is the best car insurance around?

I am planning to enroll my new car. I want a complete coverage but at a reasonable cost. I don't wanna be spending too much just for my car insurance. Help please...Thanks a lot.

Range rover sport supercharged car insurance...?

I am in the process of buying my range rover sport supercharged (im 18) and i have found some really good quotes, i was wondering if it is posible to insure with a insurance company (mabey arabic car insurance company) because they might be able to do it much cheaper.... please help.....""

If you accidentally hit someone with your car how much does your insurance premium increase?

By hit someone, I mean a pedestrian.""

Premium vs deductible? Health Insurance?

I'm really confused by everything having to deal with Health Insurance. I know a deductible is what you pay before the insurance company pays the rest. But what is the premium? And are these two related?? Please Help.

I got a police report...will my insurance get a hold of it???

My bf was driving and he doesnt have a license :( will my insurance get the police report...causing the rates to go up????

Why is my car insurance so high?

About me; I'm 18 years old, no past convictions / points on my license. Passed my test as well as Pass Plus a week or so back. Car I've got; 1994 1.2 Corsa LS (5 door) --- Most of my friends have similarly old / small cars and are paying between 500 - 900 insurance. I'm keeping the car on my drive, and yet the cheapest I can find any insurance is with Direct Line (1,600) Why is my insurance nearly 3 times as expensive as theirs? :(""

How much would insurance for a 17yr old cost?

the car is a cts-v coupe. I need to know if i can afford the insurance b4 buying for my son. -thanks

How much would a 1970 ford maverick cost to insure (roughly)?

I'm an 18 year old guy, completely okay with the minimum coverage. I see almost everyday this 1970 ford maverick coupe on my road, and was wondering how much it would cost to insure. I have no tickets and no accidents, as well as good grade discounts etc. don't need a specific number but an educated guess would be appreciated.""

missouri insurance minimums

missouri insurance minimums

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