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daisynik7 · 2 years ago

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Give You Blue

Chapter 5: Dreams

Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)

Rating: Explicit (for mature content)

cw: switching POVs (reader is in 2nd person, Eren is in 3rd), implications of a panic attack and anxiety, language, angst, mature content, sexually explicit content

Word Count: ~3.9k

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Summary: Your friendship with Eren is taken to the next level. You have a sweet dream that turns into a nightmare. Eren tells his parents that he is considering changing his major. Author’s Note: What do we think of this chapter? I know it’s a bit of a slow burn, so I appreciate you sticking with this! Likes, comments, and/or reblogs are always appreciated. If you want to be tagged in the next chapter(s), please let me know! Divider created by @/mikeykuns.

You press firmly on the strings of the guitar, stretching your pinky as far as you can to reach whatever note Eren instructed you to. With a gentle strum, you play the chord. Well, sort of. It definitely doesn’t sound the way it did when he showed you. You drop your head, sighing. “Okay, it’s official. I suck at guitar.”

Eren sits crossed legged in front of you. “You don’t. Try again,” he encourages, a small smile on his face.

“I can’t get my hands to bend the right way!” You hold your palm out in front of him, twisting your fingers in all types of misshapen claw formations. “Admit it. I suck.”

“You don’t suck.”

“It’s okay, I’ve accepted it! And as my mentor, you should too. Say it.”

“I will not,” he refuses, folding his arms over his chest, smirking.

“C’mon, Eren! Look,” You play the broken chord again, louder this time, trying to prove a point. “See?! Say it!”

He chuckles, responding quietly, “Okay, maybe you do suck at this. Just a little bit,” pinching a small space of air between his thumb and index finger.

You set the guitar back on its stand, laughing. “Ha! I knew it. This tells me that I should leave this to the professionals.” You grin at him, hugging your knees to your chest as you sit across from him on the carpeted floor.

Ever since the game-night Eren hosted a few weeks ago, the two of you have grown closer. More often now, you find yourself in his room, chatting about life, listening to each other vent, watching a movie, or indulging in his wonderful guitar skills. He even attempted to teach you the stringed instrument; the key word being attempted. Being with him makes you almost forget the misery that you suffered at the beginning of this semester. Almost.

Reiner remains relentless in his efforts to contact you. While you’ve managed to avoid any personal confrontations ever since the last one outside your dorm, he hasn’t stopped reaching out through text. A few times throughout the week, he’ll call you, leaving a short message that’s along the lines of, “Hey, it’s me again. Call me when you’re ready to talk.” You never pick up, nor respond, and still, he tries.

You wish you were unfazed by it, but parts of you cling to the past. Deep down, it pains you to ignore him. Sometimes, you see him as Reiner, your best friend, the kid you grew up with. Protecting you on the playground, confiding in you during his lowest moments, picking you up during yours. And as much as you want to preserve those memories of him like a delicate treasure, one bad breakup is enough to shatter it. To make you realize that maybe the two of you should have stayed friends all along, and nothing more.

Surprisingly, you’ve been able to talk about this easily with Eren. Annie has always been your main confidant throughout, but her less than gentle approach sometimes leaves you defeated, as if you’re wrong for having these conflicted feelings for your ex. As much as you’d like to be completely, one hundred percent over him, it isn’t that simple. And with Eren, he understands that. Having no stakes in it, or knowing who Reiner is, he listens to your inner turmoil without judgment. He makes you feel normal.

He's been opening up to you, too, sharing his on-going struggles with his pre-med major and the impossible expectations of his father. He maintains that pleasant smile on his face, despite being crushed by whatever weight that’s been forced on him from an early age. A victim of suffering he’s been subjected to inherit, without any say. It’s his father’s burden that was passed on to him, to continue whatever legacy he thinks will help the world. Dr. Jaeger is always looking out for the greater good of society, but never about his own family.

It’s been nice confiding in each other, not having to hold back for the sake of each other’s feelings. When you were with Reiner, you always had to be extra cautious around him, wanting to avoid saying anything that might hurt him. In Eren’s case, he’s never been able to be honest with his father. While he has his mother, he can’t always be completely honest with her, not wanting to cause any rift amongst his parents.

Eren is actually considering changing his major. He’s been in contact with Erwin Smith, getting an idea of what the process would look like. The senior has been more than helpful, alleviating any concerns he might have about the transition, even setting up a time to meet with his father, who works as a teacher at a nearby elementary school. Still, he’s apprehensive to make the final step, as expected. It’s a big decision, one that changes the course of his future. It might cause drama between him and his family. No matter what he ends up deciding, you’ve made it clear that you’ll support him through and through.

You check your phone for the time. “It’s getting late. I should probably head back to my room now before Annie gets worried.”

He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, wouldn’t want her getting an ideas about us.”

“Oh, believe me, she already has. She’s convinced we’re dating,” you say, standing up.

He follows, stepping towards the door, fingers at the handle. “How scandalous! I can picture the headlines now: Anxiety-ridden RA whisks beautiful resident off her feet to run away into the sunset together.”

You beam at him. “Now that’s a story I’d love to read.”

He smiles back. “Me too.”

Recently, there’s been a shift in energy between you two. There’s no denying it: you are attracted to him, both to his magnetic personality and his charming looks. But there’s this everlasting guilt in the pit of your stomach, preventing you from pursuing anything romantic with him. Simply imagining it brings you shame, like it’s inappropriate to think about. Obviously, you and Reiner are over, maybe for good. And you’re almost certain he’s been with other women since, at least, that’s what your self-conscious mind theorizes. So what’s stopping you? Is it fear? Fear of working hard at another relationship, only for it to crumble before your feet, like it did with your ex? You can’t take any more heartache. It’s easier to avoid it all together.

As you’ve said before, the easier road isn’t always better. And the optimistic, love-sick fool in you believes there’s a chance at a happy ending, this time with Eren instead of Reiner. It’s new, foreign territory, a journey filled with the unknown. Is it worth the risk?

For now, you keep these thoughts buried in the back of your mind. You value your friendship with Eren, enough to not ruin it. Besides, you’re unsure how he feels about you. Maybe you’re better off as friends and nothing more, just as it should have been with Reiner. And while this hurts to realize, it’s better for everyone in the long run. There’s no room for heartbreak if you don’t give your heart to anyone. It’s that simple, right?

He holds open the door for you, leaning against the frame. “Sweet dreams.”

“You always say that,” you giggle.

“Well, that’s because I mean it. I really hope you have some seriously sweet dreams tonight.”

You step out into the hall slowly. “Thanks, Mr. RA. I wish the same for you, too. Goodnight.” With a final wave, you head into your room, cheeks pleasantly warm with a bright smile on your face.

~~~

“You’re beautiful.”

Eren lays beside you in bed, cupping your face in his hand, thumb brushing delicately along your cheekbone. He leans closer, lips brushing yours into a gentle kiss. A rush of heat radiates to every inch of your skin, electricity buzzing through your veins. “I want you to feel good,” he whispers, mouth grazing your ear, fingers sliding down your throat and to your chest, resting his palm over your heart. You hold your breath as he touches you, nervous to be vulnerable with him.

Sensing this trepidation, he pulls away to look at you, tipping your chin towards him to meet his gaze. With a comforting smile, he says, “It’s okay. You’re safe with me.”

And you believe him. At his words, you’re at ease, letting his hands caress your body, stripping you naked. He scatters kisses on your neck, trailing down your stomach, slowly making his way between your thighs. Peering up at you, he asks, “Can I taste you?”

You nod, eager to feel his tongue on you.

He latches his lip on your arousal, licking and slurping at your clit. Your fingers are bunched in his hair, feeling his head thrash side-to-side against your pussy.

“Fuck, Eren. Feels so good,” you moan, indulging in the pleasure.

At the mention of his name, he suddenly stops. When he raises his head to look at you, it’s Reiner. He crawls up to face you, nose-to-nose, sneering. “How could you do this to me, Coco? Cheating on me with your fucking RA? You fucking bitch.”

You stare at him, wide-eyed and in shock, limbs rigid at your sides, unable to move. You’re trapped beneath him, the air growing thin, making it difficult to breath. As you suffocate, he grabs your face in a rough grasp, seething the words, “Cheater, cheater, cheater” over and over again…

You wake up with sweat beading on your forehead, blanket twisted around your limbs. Guilt weighs heavily on your chest as you take deep breaths to calm down. It was a dream, thankfully. Reiner’s never called you a bitch before. It was the worst version of him your mind could think of in the form of a nightmare.

Sitting up in bed, wiping the perspiration from your face, you recall Eren’s uncanny farewell to you hours earlier. It definitely started as a sweet dream; the idea of you and Eren being intimate with each other has you flustered. All the times you’ve been alone with him in his room, elbows grazing, hands brushing, the shared looks that last seconds longer than they need to. It’s a leap of faith, to cross that line. And fear is what holds you back. Fear of failure, of falling in love to only stumble out of it again. Fear and guilt. It’s silly to feel guilty about it, especially since you’re the one who got your heart broken. But nightmare Reiner calling you a bitch and a cheater haunts you.

You lay back down in bed, fitting your head comfortably in your pillow. It takes a while longer for you to fall asleep, but eventually, you do. And deep down, you’re disappointed when you don’t have another dream about Eren.

~~~

Eren sits in an alcove on his favorite beach, watching the sunset on the horizon. He managed to catch this beautiful sight before he has to meet his parents for dinner. It’s their semi-annual visit; his father managed to squeeze him in on his very busy schedule. Lucky him.

He takes this time to lose himself, pretend that it’s just him and the sea, basking in the day’s last moments of sunshine. But it’s too pretty to indulge in all alone. Suddenly, he has the urge to share this with someone else. Without thinking, he scrolls through his contacts, finding the one person he wants to talk to. The resident from Room 104. His friend.

It takes two rings until she answers. “Hey, are you okay?”

He smiles to himself, amused at her immediate concern. He realizes now that he’s never actually called her before. They’ve texted plenty, exchanged funny tweets, greeted each other good mornings and goodnights. But to hear her in his ear, as if she’s sitting beside him, feels right. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just called to say hi.”

There’s a beat before she responds with a simple, “Hi.” He can practically hear the rounded cheeks on her face. His chest swells, happy he decided to dial her number. “Where are you right now?” she asks.

“I’m watching the sunset on the beach,” he replies, wiggling his toes into the sand.

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s beautiful here. It puts my mind at ease.” He wants to add that her soothing voice has the same effect, but he decides to keep that to himself.

She hums. “Sounds like paradise. Where is this, exactly?”

“It’s my super-secret spot. No one knows about it, not even Armin or Mikasa. You have to be really special to know about it.”

She laughs. “I guess I’ll have to charm it out of you, then.”

Too late. He unsure exactly when it started, but lately, Eren has been seeing her in a different light. From the first time they met, even though snot and tears as she cried over her ex because of a cupcake, he was drawn to her. In a weird way, he felt a connection; she’s going through her own struggles like he is. Everyone around him is having a fabulous time, nailing their classes, partying like there’s no tomorrow. And he never resented his friends for enjoying their college experience. He felt left out. Different.

And maybe it’s true: misery really does love company. However, being with her is far from miserable. Although they confess to one another their strife in life, it’s cathartic, like a cumbersome burden gradually easing away. When they’re not complaining about annoying exes or overbearing parents, they’re sharing new memories together, learning more about each other, solidifying that bond. That connection.

He likes her, enjoys being around her. Sacrifices precious study time to teach her guitar, though she really does suck at it. He forgets about the unending quizzes and tests he has to constantly prepare for because he’d rather sit on his carpeted floor, snacking on Pocky Sticks or eating Chinese takeout with a movie playing on his laptop. He’d choose her over textbooks any day because being with her is like an escape. A breath of fresh air when he’s otherwise suffocating from the pressure.

Before he realizes, he’s saying, “I’ll show you this one day. You’ll love it.”

“Does that mean I’m special?” she teases. He pictures her on the other line, smiling with the phone pressed to her ear, lying in bed. All cozy in the sheets, probably in some dainty pajamas. The hem of her shirt riding up, exposing that cute belly. Maybe she isn’t wearing a bra, nipples peaked through the fabric…

He’s officially lost it. Face hot with shame, he rattles his head, as if doing so will eliminate the naughty thoughts occupying his mind. Swallowing hard, he answers, “You are special. Very, very special…” It comes out awkwardly. His cheeks are sweltering with both guilt and embarrassment now. What’s going on with him?

Luckily, she seems to think he’s still normal, replying, “You’re special too, Mr. RA. Thank you for being such a good friend to me.”

Friend. He has to remind himself that they’re just that, and nothing more. If only she knew the effect he has on him. Would she give him a chance?

His phone vibrates in his hand, and he knows it’s his mom texting him that they’re on the way. It’s his cue to head back into town. He reluctantly says goodbye, nothing else incriminating coming out of his mouth. With one last glance at the ocean, he turns around towards his car, dreading what’s to come.

~~~

Less than an hour later, Eren and his parents are sitting around a table at an Italian restaurant downtown. The waiter serves their drinks, iced water for Eren, two glasses of red wine for his parents. His mom is holding over most of the conversation, catching Eren up on all of the family news. He doesn’t care, but he likes listening to her talk. It’s relaxing for him, allows him to not think about anything else. That is, until his father starts speaking.

“Eren, Zeke’s been telling me you haven’t been performing well in Organic Chemistry. Is that true?”

What a fucking snitch. It doesn’t surprise him; Zeke’s always knocking Eren down a peg so he can look taller in the eyes of their father. And while he says he means well, he actually doesn’t. However, this is a good opportunity to segue into what he actually wants to discuss. “Yeah, dad. That’s true. Ochem is really kicking my ass right now.”

Dr. Jaeger takes a swig of his wine. “Do you need a tutor? I’ll give you money to hire one.”

Eren tips his water into his mouth, gulping slowly. He’s getting nervous, second guessing himself if he should really say what’s been on his mind for the past couple weeks. Before he chickens out, he decides to go for it. “Actually, I’m considering changing my major.”

The silence is loud, even with the other patrons clinking their dishes and chatting away. His mother stares at him, eyes wide and mouth parted open. His father swirls the alcohol in his hand, staring at the liquid whirling around the glass. It lasts for at least a full minute, or at least, that’s what it seems like to Eren. He’s tempted to add, “Just kidding!” to make this painfully uncomfortable quiet disappear.

Finally, his father speaks. “If this is your idea of a joke, it’s not very funny, Eren.”

“I’m not kidding.”

He leans forward, inspecting his son’s face carefully. “What would you change it to?”

Eren taps his foot nervously beneath the table, responding, “Education. I want to be a teacher.”

His father barks a cruel laugh, startling your mother and the neighboring table, who stares, intrigued. “Teacher? You want to be a teacher? Eren, this is ludicrous. I’m not going to waste my money on your tuition for you to become a teacher.”

“What’s wrong with being a teacher?!” Eren snaps.

“I’m paying for you to become a doctor. Teachers don’t make any money.”

Eren mumbles, “Not everything in life is about money.”

“That’s a very naïve mindset. How will you support a family without a decent income?”

“There are plenty of teachers who can afford to raise a family, so I don’t see how that’s relevant.” And besides, making more money doesn’t automatically mean you’re a better parent. Prime example is Dr. Jaeger himself, but Eren knows better than to throw that back to him.

His dad shakes his head, massaging his temples as if he’s got a bad headache. “You need to hire a tutor, Eren. The courses are difficult, but getting a tutor will help.”

“It’s not just that, dad. I’m not happy. I don’t want to be a doctor.”

His mom chimes in. “Honey, are you sure you’ve given this enough thought? This is a big decision.”

He nods. “I have. It’s been on my mind for a while now. And I know in my heart this is what I want.”

She gives him a small grin, glancing at her husband, who’s reeling in his seat. “Grisha, it’s going to be okay.”

“Carla, this is his future. He’s ruining his life.”

Eren scoffs. “Dad, is it really that bad?”

He glares at him. “You were supposed to take over my practice.”

“You have Zeke.”

He continues to rattle his head, freaking out. “If you change your major, I will not pay for the rest of your tuition.”

It’s a threat. But Eren’s prepared for the worst. “I’ll get a job, take out loans. If you don’t want to support me, fine. But that’s not going to change my mind.”

It’s silent again for what seems like forever. Suddenly, Dr. Jaeger stands up, tossing his napkin from his lap onto the table. “I can’t listen to this anymore. Carla, we’re leaving.”

“Grisha.”

He stares at Eren dead in the eyes. “You were supposed to be special. I had very high hopes for you, Eren. Now, you’re just a disappointment.”

It’s words. That’s all it is. Eren has to remind himself that. Sticks and stones, right? But the disdain on his father’s face, the contempt dripping in his frown, all of that combined with what comes out of his mouth so easily, without a hitch in his breath. It breaks his heart. He is not prepared to hear this. While it doesn’t completely surprise him, it still hurts. He fights the tears, gulping down the sorrow building in his throat. Drinking the remaining water in his empty cup as his father storms off, his mother chasing after him, pleading with him to come back. Eren waits a couple of minutes, hoping they return, that his dad apologizes and takes back what he said. It doesn’t happen. His phone vibrates and reveals a text from his mom.

Mom: I’m sorry honey

Mom: We’re driving back home now

Mom: I will talk to your father and I will call you later

In the worst timing possible, the food they ordered minutes before disaster is served. Eren asks the waiter to package everything up, no longer hungry. After he pays the check, he drives back to campus, grip tight on the wheel, listening to whatever music is on his playlist at full volume. Trying to drown his father’s words replaying over and over in his head. You were supposed to be special. I had very high hopes for you. You’re just a disappointment.

He parks the car in his usual spot, sulking in the driver’s seat for a little while longer until he exits, carrying the heavy bag of pasta towards his room. It’s a Friday night, and of course, the dorms are empty because everyone is out partying, not being a disappointment to their parents. He approaches his door, leaning forward to press his forehead against, feeling like he’s at the bottom of the barrel, trying to claw his way out somehow. He can’t call his mom because she’s probably too busy dealing with the aftermath. So, he dials the only other person he knows will listen. The only other person he can rely on.

She picks up his call quickly, after one ring. “Eren?”

He thinks he can hear her faintly down the hall from inside her bedroom. His feet shuffle towards Room 104, dragging the to-go bag of food along with him. “Hi,” he greets, sullen.

“Are you okay? Where are you?” She sounds concerned, and in this fucked up state he’s in, it’s what he needs. Someone who cares.

“No, I’m not,” he sniffles, tears rolling down his cheeks. “It was a mistake. I should have never said anything.”

“Where are you?” she repeats, more frantic this time. From outside, he can hear her bed squeak as she hops off it. The swish of a jacket. The jingle of keys. Seconds later, she opens the door, finding him already standing there, begging for comfort.

And it’s not weird when she hugs him, wrapped around his torso, her face nestled into his chest. She fits into him like a puzzle piece, a missing one he never knew he needed. This is the closest they’ve been, probably the most they’ve ever touched. But something about this is familiar. Maybe it’s the warmth radiating from her affectionate embrace. Or the way he instinctually bows his head to nuzzle his nose at the top of her head. This is what he’s yearned for, dreamed of. Someone who looks at him like he’s worth something, even when other’s see a failure. Someone who holds him tightly with every fiber of her being to make sure he knows he’s loved. It’s in the way she presses her ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat. How her hand massages small circles onto his back, chanting, “It’s okay, Eren. It’s going to be okay.”

And with her in his arms, he actually believes it.

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#give you blue series

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beastladyswag · 6 years ago

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shavonnescupoftea · 4 years ago

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pinkliliee-blog · 7 years ago

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worldnewsinpictures · 3 years ago

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It's so obvious and they still miss it. Whites: currently 33% less likely to be recieving a shot right now. Sounds about right.... Want to see more about this and see what people are saying? -> https://worldnewsinpictures.com/its-so-obvious-and-they-still-miss-it obvious #ItsWhites #ItsWhitesSounds #obvious #Whites #recieving

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businessweekme · 7 years ago

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New York PE Firm to Develop Morocco Win Farm

The rise of cryptocurrencies as assets attractive to fund managers is breathing life into a spit of land the size of Manhattan located on the southern coast of Morocco.

New York’s Brookstone Partners, a private equity company with $150 million in assets, says it’s raising cash to develop the first phase of a 900-megawatt wind farm near Dakhla, Morocco. The remote location, wedged between the Sahara Desert and Atlantic Ocean some 1,400 kilometers (870 miles) south of Marrakesh, has gained in value for its potential to mine cryptocurrencies and manage data using clean energy.

“We have exclusive rights to the area for a wind farm, but the issue was there’s no real place to put” the electricity, said Michael Toporek, managing general partner at Brookstone, “These days, what you can do with stranded power is set up a computing center, develop this as an off-grid project.”

Renewables have become the preferred means of mining digital currencies like Bitcoin after the cost of electricity surged last year, forcing the industry to spend more money on computing power. While traditional fuels like coal remain staples for many utility grids, some of the biggest miners have tapped into cheap renewable power from Canada to Iceland and Georgia as a way to lure investors worried about the industry’s carbon footprint.

Brookstone founded Soluna earlier this year to develop the wind farm after acquiring rights to the property from Germany’s Altus AG. It plans to raise $100 million this year in an initial coin offering to build the first 36 megawatts of turbines. Those will feed crypto-mining and data centers processing blockchain transactions, which run on 18 megawatts of power, according to itswhite paper. Completing the entire project could cost as much as $3 billion.

A challenge common to data center operators that Soluna may struggle to overcome is the issue of intermittency. Even when the wind doesn’t blow, all the company’s machines processing currencies and data will still need power to function.

“The power from the wind farm is intermittent and will probably reduce the utilization factor of the data center as long as it is off-grid,” according to Itamar Orlandi, head of frontier power analysis at Bloomberg New Energy Finance. “Their revenue from the mining operation will be unpredictable and possibly volatile. It’s not clear to me how they make a 20- to 30-year infrastructure investment backed against that kind of revenue stream.”

Another potential issue is the legal status of the territory around the wind farm. The tourist resort Dakhla is in the disputed Western Sahara, which is claimed by both Morocco and the Algeria-based Polisario Front. The United Nations has been trying to hold a referendum to decide on the fate of the former Spanish colony since it brokered a ceasefire in 1991 between Morocco and Polisario. The majority of the territory is under Morocco’s control. The UN lists it as a non-decolonized territory while. The U.S. Central Intelligence Agency describes it as a non self-governing territory.

Soluna is part of a trend led by technology giants including Facebook Inc. and Google to power operations solely with renewables. Tech giants have as contracted more 9 gigawatts of clean electricity to date, signing purchase agreements with solar and wind farm developers worldwide.

“When we say we’re matching our energy, we mean that for every terrawatt of power that we consume at Alphabet, we’re matching that by a physical terrawatt-hour that’s being generated somewhere else,” said Neha Palmer, head of energy at Google’s parent company. “We are looking at ways on how to match our actual consumption.”Soluna says it wants to combine its data processing even more tightly with renewables by co-locating wind generation next to their servers.

“Our power cost will be among the lowest in the world,” said John Belizaire, Soluna’s chief executive officer. “That gives us benefits and allows us to keep participating in the ecosystem while others might not be able to sustain their businesses.”

With the price of Bitcoin down more than 60 percent down from its peak in December, the power price that miners pay to mint new currency is becoming more important.

The increasingly difficult computations for creating new blockchains — the encrypted digital ledgers that underpin cryptocurrencies — require ever-more powerful computers. And many of the big server farms need air conditioning to keep from overheating.

The industry’s electricity use has increased exponentially over the last year and can consume as much as 60 percent of mining revenues, Bloomberg New Energy Finance estimates.

“All of those machines are consuming at least as much as Ireland and probably a lot more, especially by the end of the year,” said Alex de Vries, the PwC consultant who founded Digiconomist, a website that calculates the energy consumed by bitcoin. “It could be as much as the whole of Austria in terms of energy consumption.”

The post New York PE Firm to Develop Morocco Win Farm appeared first on Bloomberg Businessweek Middle East.

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#Energy #morocco #private equity #wind far

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daisynik7 · 2 years ago

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Give You Blue

Chapter 3: Umbrella

🎶 I can't stop the rain, but I will keep you dry 🎶

Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)

Rating: Explicit (this chapter does not contain any explicit material, but the series as a whole will remain Explicit)

cw: switching POVs (reader is in 2nd person, Eren is in 3rd), angst, a little bit of fluff

Word Count: ~2.9k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter (coming soon)

Give You Blue Masterlist | ao3 | Give You Blue Taglist

Summary: With your classes as a distraction, you manage to survive a month into your breakup. However, you hit a snag when you run into your ex for the first time since the start of the semester. And, as if it couldn't get any worse, you forget to bring an umbrella on a day with heavy rainfall. Luckily, someone comes to your aid. Author’s Notes: Introducing Eren’s point of view! Hope you enjoy this one! Likes, comments, and/or reblogs are ALWAYS appreciated. Thank you so much for the support! If you want to be tagged in any future chapters, please let me know in the comments or interact with the Give You Blue Taglist post. Appreciate y’all! Divider created by @/mikeykuns.

Eren hates his major.

It’s not that he dislikes biology. In fact, he adores it. He has fond childhood memories of Armin sneaking encyclopedias from his grandpa’s library so that the two of them can flip through each page, eyes wide open in awe at the information displayed. Eren has always been particularly fascinated with science.

No, it’s not biology; he hates being pre-med. He’s only doing it because his father, the renowned Dr. Grisha Jaeger, gave him an ultimatum. It was either pre-med or no tuition, without any room for compromise. Eren’s fate is to become a physician, whether he likes it or not, all because it’s what the Jaeger patriarch wants. To be fair, he’s never stood up for himself. Zeke, his older brother, is in med school at Marley. He can’t be the sole disappointing son; he just can’t.

So, instead, he suffers. One month into the semester, and he’s already struggling with organic chemistry. Freshman year, he aced biology, no problem. But chemistry? It’s a totally different language that he can’t comprehend.

Inside the lecture hall, he stares at his graded quiz, a big 53% scribbled in bold red ink. He glances at the other students, sneaking a peek at what they got. His concerns lessen slightly, spotting a few other 50s. Luckily, because the exam was so difficult, the professor informs them that it will be weighted. Still, this isn’t good enough. He’ll have a hard time explaining this one to the doctor.

When class is dismissed, Eren remains in his seat, head in his hands, re-evaluating his life choices. Is it going to be this way the rest of the semester? The remainder of the schoolyear? For the next decade? He’s only a sophomore; it’s only going to get harder from here. There’s so much pressure to do well right off the bat. After all, a high GPA is required for him to get into the prestigious Marley School of Medicine, the same university Zeke is currently attending. The standard has already been set high, and Eren needs to reach it if he doesn’t want to be considered a failure.

There’s a heavy burden weighing him down, sometimes he finds it difficult to breath. The first semester of freshman year was a breeze; he had a good handle on his classes, snuck into a few frat parties with Mikasa and Armin, made fond memories with his friends. It was fun. Now, it’s anything but. He signed up to be an RA to have his own personal space so he could study. Basically coop himself in his room without having to resort to the library across campus. He tries to see his friends, but rarely goes out to a party. Armin, of all people, joined a frat last semester and has invited Eren out several times, always resulting in him declining.

College is no longer enjoyable. And maybe for him, it was never meant to be. Is this what his life is going to be in the future? All work, no play? Is he destined to become like his workaholic father, who is hardly home? His brother, who’s aged twenty years despite being under thirty? He’s constantly debating in his mind if this is the route he wants to take. It keeps him awake at night, stressing about it.

Eventually, he gets up out of his seat, slinging his backpack across his shoulders, his other hand grasping a large umbrella. The forecast predicted rain all afternoon. Fitting for how he’s feeling at the moment.

Walking out of the lecture hall and towards the exit, he notices someone standing near the door, leaning against the wall, face buried in their hands. He approaches closer, realizing it’s one of his residents. And she’s crying.

~~~

It’s been a month since Reiner broke up with you. Your classes have been a well-needed distraction, keeping yourself focused on assignments rather than memories of your past relationship. Still, when you’re in bed every night, desperate to fall asleep, the flashbacks play on a continuous loop, keeping you awake. It’s been difficult to get a proper amount of sleep because of this. It’s a vicious cycle, one you haven’t quite figured out how to get out of. But like Annie said, baby steps.

With your midday class over, you walk to the nearest vending machine, purchasing a canned coffee beverage to fuel your perpetual exhaustion. Caffeine has been one of your saving graces during this trying time, aside from the support from your friends. It also helps that you haven’t seen Reiner since the drastic breakup. You’ve been actively avoiding all of the usual spots you used to frequent with him, going out to the cafeteria, library, or the mini mart at odd times of the day. He hasn’t reached out to you, most likely giving you space until you decide to initiate. What do you even say? You’re trying to move on, and keeping in contact with him would only make it harder. But there’s no denying it; you miss him.

As you step towards the exit, you notice all the other students clad in their waterproof coats or holding umbrellas. It’s pouring now, and you’re not prepared at all. Annie’s reminder last night resurfaces in your brain a little too late. She mentioned how it was supposed to rain today, and you probably brushed it off. Or maybe in your rush to get to class this morning, running on only two hours of sleep, it slipped your mind.

Directly across is the next building. Thinking quickly, you hunch underneath your backpack, making some sort of makeshift shelter, and hurry over, doing your best to avoid getting soaked. There’s a large crowd of students leaving one of the lecture halls. You push past them, pausing near the exit, trying to decide what your next move should be. And that’s when you her him.

“Coco?”

Your heart drops when you hear his voice, uttering that all too familiar nickname. Slowly, you turn around, seeing Reiner standing before you with a pretty, blonde woman beside him.

“Oh. Hi.” You do your best to sound nonchalant, actually stunned by his presence.

He swallows hard, clearly nervous. “I didn’t know you had a class in here.”

“No, I don’t. I was just passing through. I, uh, forgot my umbrella, so I’m trying my best to avoid the rain.” You glance down at your shirt, spotted with droplets. “Obviously, it’s not working,” you add, with a small chuckle. You’re surprised that you can laugh when there’s dread suffocating your lungs. Seeing him in the flesh, after weeks of miraculously avoiding him, is hitting you harder than you imagined.

Reiner stares at you, concern in his eyes. The same expression he’s given you throughout your life whenever he was worried about you. “It’s pouring the rest of the day. You’re going to get soaked.” It’s genuine the way he says it; like he still cares about you. It makes you regret coming here in the first place.

“We can walk you to your dorm, if you want.” Her voice startles you for a second, forgetting she’s here as you fixate on your ex. She gives you a small smile when she continues. “I’m Christa, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

You shake her hand, introducing yourself. Glancing at her sweatshirt, two deltas stitched across with a floral pattern, you comment, “I like your letters. They’re very cute.”

Her smile widens. “Thank you! My big gave it to me last semester. Are you also in a sorority?”

“No, I’m not,” you reply, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

She wiggles her finger at you and Reiner. “How do you two know each other, then?”

“We’ve known each other since we were kids. We grew up together,” Reiner answers, a hint of pride in his voice. “We’re best friends.” He glances at you, checking your reaction. You look down at your sneakers, wet at the soles, trying not to show the emotions rattling inside.

“That is so sweet! Well, if you’re ever interested in joining a sorority, we do informal recruitment in the fall, formal recruitment in the spring. You should stop by the house some time for dinner, maybe during the nights Reiner is hashing.”

“Hashing…?”

“Sorry! So used to speaking in sorority language! Reiner is one of our hashers. He helps serve food and wash dishes, in exchange for a paycheck, of course. His shifts are usually at dinner.”

You finally meet his eyes. “Oh. I didn’t know.”

He opens his mouth, wanting to respond. Then Christa nudges him with her elbow, giggling. “How can you not tell your best friend that you have a job?!”

He avoids your gaze, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess I forgot.” The truth is more complicated to explain; you don’t blame him for that. Still, it hurts. You’re so used to knowing everything about each other. Now, he’s practically a stranger.

Christa, blissfully unaware, repeats her earlier offer. “We can walk you to your dorm! And we can talk more about Delta Delta if you’d like.” Her offer is kind, even with the ulterior motive, trying to recruit you. It’s not the sales-pitch that’s deterring you, though. It’s the idea of sharing an umbrella with them, forcing yourself to act like it’s all fine and dandy. That he didn’t break your heart a few weeks ago so that he can hang out with sorority girls like Christa, gorgeous, sweet, and sociable. It’s not her that bothers you, not at all. She has no idea the pain you’re going through. Reiner does, and it makes you angry knowing he wants to play pretend for the sake of his image.

“It’s okay, I can walk on my own from here. Greek Row is on the opposite side of campus, it doesn’t make sense for you to walk me.” You’re not going to accept the offer, no matter what. It’s better this way. You’d rather get drenched than subject yourself to this.

“C’mon, Coco. We really don’t mind,” Reiner urges.

We. It’s a simple word, no significant meaning behind it. To you, it’s devastating. It used to be you and him. Now, it’s him with somebody else. You’re the third party here. And sure, they’re probably just friends, but the insecure part of you is going insane, wondering if he’s already moved on.

More adamant, you say, “I’ll be fine. Seriously.” You give Reiner a stern look, one he recognizes instantly. He’s seen it many times before, and he knows that he should just drop it. Christa’s eyes dart between you two, picking up on the tension. “Okay, well, I hope you take up my offer for dinner. I’ll let Reiner contact you to schedule a time.” She smiles at you, waving. “It was really nice to meet you, Coco.”

Reiner makes a strangled noise in his throat, caught off guard by his special nickname for you being used by somebody other than him. You’re surprised at yourself when you let out a genuine chuckle, grinning. “It was nice meeting you too.” You’re not annoyed at her for calling you that. In fact, you’re relieved. In a way, you feel liberated from it. It no longer belongs to him.

You’re overwhelmed with emotions as soon as they leave side-by-side under his umbrella. You wait until they’re out of sight, leaning against the wall, hiding your face as the tears stream down your cheeks. Suddenly, and at the worst timing, you hear a familiar voice call out to you. Peering up, you see Eren, your RA, standing in front of you.

You meet him in passing every now and then, walking out or into his room while you’re going the opposite direction, exchanging a friendly wave or pleasant greeting. There’s always a pleasant smile on his face, as if life Is great and everything is going to be fine. This is the second time he’s witnessed you crying, two times too many at this point. You’re hot with embarrassment, being caught a blubbery mess once again.

“Hi,” you sniffle, drying your cheek with your sleeve.

“Are you okay?” He’s concerned, of course. Similar to the first time you burst into tears upon meeting him.

You take a deep, shaky breath before responding, “Yeah. I’m fine. I just…I didn’t know it was going to rain.”

It’s silent between you for a moment, Eren processing the situation before speaking. “If you’re heading back to the dorms, we can walk together.” He holds the curved handle in up, smiling. You’re grateful he doesn’t question it further, understanding there’s more behind your outburst than just a little bit of unforeseen weather.

Once outside, he opens the umbrella, revealing a blue-sky pattern over your heads. You laugh at the irony of it.

“Pretty cool, right?” he beams, holding the handle between you. “I always like to carry a bit of blue with me whenever it’s a gloomy day.”

“I love it,” you reply, returning his bright smile. “Almost makes it feel like it isn’t raining at all.” You huddle next to him, trying your best not to bump your shoulder against his. “Thank you. I would have been stranded if you didn’t come along.”

“No problem at all. Just consider this one of my responsibilities, as your RA.”

“To show off your super cool umbrella to your residents?” you joke, smirking.

He turns his head to face you, gazing at you kindly. “No. To keep you safe and protect you.”

You focus your attention on the ground, avoiding any puddles and ignoring the slight flutter in your belly. “You might be the best RA ever with that kind of mindset.”

He chuckles. “Well, I haven’t forgiven myself for making you cry the first night I met you. So I’m doing my best to make up for it.”

You cover you face with your hand, remembering that humiliating moment. “Oh god, don’t remind me. It really wasn’t you. I was in a fragile state and apparently, red velvet cupcakes were triggering at the time.”

The rain lets up a bit, reduced to a drizzle now. Eren stares in front of him, relaxing the grip on the handle. “Are you feeling better now?”

You choose your words carefully before replying, “Yeah. I think so.” It’s not a confident answer, though it’s the best you can do, without going into detail about it.

“Good. I’m glad to hear that.”

The two of you walk in silence for the next few minutes, listening to the soft trickle of raindrops against the pavement. There’s something peaceful about the rain when you’re not getting absolutely drowned by it. You look up, admiring the blue-sky pattern, feeling the tiniest boost of serotonin on an otherwise dreary situation. “You’re doing a great job, by the way.”

“Huh?”

A little louder, you repeat, “I said you’re doing a great job. Being an RA and everything.” You’re unsure yourself what you mean by “everything”. He’s basically a stranger to you. However, for some reason, you’re comfortable around him.

“Oh. Thanks.” You can tell he’s surprised by your comment, which makes you smile to yourself.

Another moment of silence passes as you approach the dorms. “I’ll have to find a way to thank you for this,” you say.

“You really don’t have to.”

“If it weren’t for you, I’d either be stuck there, crying. Or back at the dorms, drenched from head to toe.” You remove the keycard from your pocket, swiping your ID at the door.

He holds it open for you, beckoning you to enter first, folding and tying his umbrella closed. “Well, if you must know, I love Pocky.”

“Pocky?” You raise your brow at him, amused.

“You know, those little stick treats, covered in chocolate.”

“Yeah, I’m familiar. I’m just surprised by your answer,” you grin, stopping in front of his room.

“Hey, I told you I have a sweet tooth, right? Just get me a box of that, and we’ll call this even.”

“Okay,” you reply. “I can do that.”

He watches you walk the rest of the way down the hall to your room. You face him, giving him one last wave before you enter, retreating inside. You set your bag down and sit at the edge of your bed, surprised at how okay you’re doing, despite running into Reiner. Maybe you really are doing better.

Soon after, your phone vibrates, notifying you of a text. When you check it, you find yourself staring at the screen, frozen in place.

Reiner: Hope you made it back to your dorm okay.

~~~

You’re doing a great job. On a shitty day like today, those five simple words give Eren the validation he needs. If he can’t be great at chemistry, it’s nice knowing he is succeeding in another way. It makes him feel good, as if he’s finally doing something right. Being appreciated for it isn’t expected, but it sure is nice.

He doesn’t see or hear from her until a few days later, when he comes back from one of his classes. Outside his room, he spots a plastic bag hanging on the doorknob, a note attached to the outside of it:

Eren, thank you for keeping me dry from the rain the other day. Consider us even now.

He smiles reading her name signed at the end of it. Peeking into the bag, he sees at least a dozen Pocky boxes scattered inside.

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daisynik7 · 2 years ago

Text

Give You Blue

Chapter 7: Electric

Touch me, you’re electric babe. Move me, take me from this place.

Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)

Rating: Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

cw: language, fluff, some angst, smut – PIV sex (missionary, doggy), cunnilingus, fingering, nipple play, sex without a condom, slight praise kink, creampie, cockwarming, petnames (princess, baby, sweetie, sweetheart)

Word Count: ~3.6k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter (coming soon)

Give You Blue Masterlist | ao3 | Give You Blue Taglist

Summary: You and Eren share an intimate moment together, one that the both of you wish could last forever. Author’s Note: It’s happening, it’s finally happening! Thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with this story, through the angst, drama, tears, and slow burn. We’ve got one more chapter left, plus the epilogue. It’s always bittersweet for me when the end of a series draws near. I appreciate everyone’s likes, comments, and reblogs, words are never enough to describe how much it means to me. Love you all and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

You lean against the door, palms pressed to the surface, peering up at Eren, his head bowed towards you. His hair is tied in a loose ponytail, most of his stray strands tucked behind his ears, except for the few dangling in front. He looks at you, eyes alert, but tired. Has he been awake all night like you?

“Are you sure this is okay?” You step forward, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt, brushing his abdomen, firm and chiseled, skin pulsing with each delicate touch.

“Yes,” he answers, holding your hand, lifting it to his mouth. He scatters soft kisses along your knuckles, maintaining his gaze on you. “Use me however you want. Tell me what you need, and I’ll give it to you.”

You shake your head at his offer. “I don’t want to use you. It sounds wrong saying it like that.”

“Then rely on me. Let’s rely on each other.” He nuzzles his cheek to your palm, surrounding it with his. “Today is ours. We can do whatever we want.”

Any doubts you had about this fade, your entire focus only on him. Nothing else matters anymore; no one else matters, except for you and Eren in this moment, together. You trace his lips with your thumb, relishing how lush they are, thrilled at the thought of them exploring the rest of you. Your mouth meets his, and it’s even more electrifying than earlier. Maybe because this time, you have no intention to stop.

You move carefully at first; sweet, innocent, slow, and steady. It reminds you of a first kiss, that initial spark that flutters in your belly, gradually breathing warmth throughout your entire being. Soon, it becomes burning hot with passion and urgency, skin set ablaze, desperate to feel as much of him on you. He slips into you, flicking his tongue on yours. You pull away to catch your breath, yanking at his collar to remove his shirt. He smirks, stripping it off, naked from the waist up. “Your turn,” he murmurs, grazing your ear, causing you to shudder with anticipation. His hands slide up your body, drifting towards your breasts, pinching your nipples with his fingers. You didn’t bother putting a bra on, intending to bare it all for him.

“Eren,” you moan, hoisting your top off hastily. He leads you to the bed, where you lay flat on your back, watching him eagerly as he hovers above you.

He leans down, kissing you again. “Tell me what you want.”

You swallow hard, pressing your forehead to his. “You. I just want you.”

He grins, giving you a peck on the nose. “You have me. I’m not going anymore.” Shifting lower, he nudges his face to your chest. “Can I?”

You nod, staring at him as he latches on to your nipple, sucking until it’s taut between his lips, releasing you slowly with a lewd pop. “Is this okay?”

You nod again, more frantic with excitement. He continues to work your tits, savoring them in his mouth, keen on making them peaked and sensitive. Hooking the elastic of your bottoms, he tugs at them, prompting you to take them off. You lift your hips, allowing him to slide them down your legs, exposing your panties, damp with arousal between your thighs. You shuffle out of your pants completely, kicking it to the floor.

Traveling along your neck, he tickles you with soft kisses while you comb through his hair, simultaneously palming the erection in his sweatpants. He grinds against you, longing for any form of friction on his cock. “You’re beautiful.” He rolls his hips deeper. “I can’t believe I get to have you like this,” he groans, kneeling to shove his pants off. He strips in front of you, tossing his sweats and underwear aside, revealing his hard cock sprung against his abdomen. He strokes it, thumb brushing the tip to smear the bead of precum along his slit.

Your mouth fills with saliva, aching for him, yearning for this touch. Slipping out of your panties, both of you totally naked now, you run your fingers along your pussy, rubbing your clit. “Eren, I want you. I want you.” Your voice trembles, flustered, dizzy, reckless with desire.

His eyes are set on you toying with your swelling bud. He strokes his cock faster, aroused by the way you pleasure yourself. “Can I eat you out? Make you feel good?”

“Yes. Touch me. Make me come.” It spills out of your lust-laden lips easily, yearning for this intimacy with him. You’ve had dreams about this, fantasized about it to a point where you felt unwarranted guilt from it. You won’t allow yourself to be ashamed about something as precious as this. The words Eren said to you replay in your head like a mantra you want to dedicate your life to. Today is ours. We can do whatever we want.

He positions himself between your legs, gripping behind your knees to spread you apart. Without hesitating, he dives in, lapping at your clit with smooth strokes of his tongue. You moan his name, fists bunched in the sheets below you. Humming into your skin, he teases a finger in your slit, already sleek with arousal. Pursed around you, he glides inside, squelching as he slides in past the knuckle, curving at the tip. You bite your lip, holding back the whimper building within your throat. After you relax, he adds another digit, burying it deep in your fluttering cunt.

“Eren!” you cry out, back arching off the bed. He doesn’t relent, licking faster until you’re twitching, clenching him tightly with your orgasm. He slows down only when you tug at his hair, clit too sensitive that you’re flinching from any contact, in need of a break.

He rolls beside you, surrounding you in a snug embrace. “Did I do good?” He’s glossy with your slick, smooching the nape of your neck.

You scooch closer, turning to him. “You did amazing. You’re amazing.” You kiss him passionately, swirling your tongue with his.

He sucks on your bottom lip, dragging it with his teeth. “I want to be good for you.”

You brush the hair from his face, caressing his cheek. “You’re always so good to me, baby.”

He growls, reaching for his cock. “I love hearing you call me that.”

Replacing his, you stroke him, spreading your thumb across the glistening tip, repeating it over and over in his ear. Come for me, baby. Make a mess for me, baby. You’re so good, baby. With a few more jerks of your wrist, his cock throbs in your grasp, shooting his load onto his stomach. He groans with each pulse, eyes shut as he subsides from his high. Grabbing at the nearby tissue box, you wipe the pearly cum from his belly, grinning with satisfaction.

He peeks at you with one eye open, blushing. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? I promise you, there’s nothing you need to apologize for,” you assure him, smiling into his neck.

“We didn’t even get to the good part,” he chuckles, cradling you.

“This is the good part,” you say, resting your palm on his chest, face nestled comfortably between his shoulder and neck. “Being with you. Holding you. It’s the best part.”

He yawns, hauling the blankets to cover you. “Yeah. You’re right. This is the best.”

Sleep catches up to you quickly, considering the two of you have been wide awake the last couple of hours. You barely remember the events leading to this, or maybe you’re doing your best to block it from memory. As you drift into a peaceful slumber, you use these last bits of consciousness to memorize all that you can about this. The heat from his body, surrounding yours in a pleasant warmth. The whimsical flutter of his lashes as he falls asleep. The delicate scent of soap on his skin, lingering from a shower hours earlier. His arms draped over you in a gentle embrace, keeping you safe and secure. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat drumming against your fingers like a familiar tempo. There’s no doubt in your mind; this is exactly where you want to be.

Seconds before you doze off, he pets the top of your head, whispering, “Sweet dreams, princess.”

~~~

Eren wakes up alone, convinced it was all a dream. Panicking, he strips the blanket off, as if she’s hiding somewhere beneath his feet. He checks the bed, noticing it’s warm beside him. On the verge of full hysterics, the door opens quietly. She shuffles in, wiping her eyes, yawning. When she spots him staring, she greets him happily. “Morning.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. Too embarrassed to admit his almost freak-out, he replies with a simple, “Hello.”

She crawls into bed next to him, kissing him on the cheek. “Did you panic when you woke up and I wasn’t here?”

She sees right through me, he thinks, unable to contain his smile. “Maybe.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere,” she says, moving to his lips.

They stay this way for a while, flowing seamlessly with each other, cuddling in bed with daylight streaking through the shades of his window. He can’t remember the last Saturday morning where he felt this: carefree and happy. As if the world is spinning at constant rate, instead of out of control like he usually finds it. He’s certain this is where he wants to be. He doesn’t want to fathom a life without this, without her.

His hands roam beneath her shirt, thumbs brushing at her nipples. “You like it when I touch you here, huh?”

“Yes,” she answers, breathless.

“Get on top of me,” he demands, gradually losing his composure. “Want you to feed them to me while you ride my lap.”

She obeys, moaning as she straddles him, rocking back and forth on his stiffening cock. They’re both still fully clothed from the waist below; even with fabric separating them, he’s going crazy.

Stripping her top off, she reveals her breasts to him, swaying them across his mouth. He puckers his lips around one, suckling at her teat. She grinds on him harder, boner strained in his underwear. His grip is firm on her hips, guiding her while she rides him. Carefully, he slips his thumb beneath the waistband of her bottoms, eager for more. She brushes his wrist, stammering, “Eren, I’m a little nervous.”

He immediately lets up, concerned, “I’m sorry. We’ll stop. I don’t want to rush you into anything.”

She holds him, interlacing her fingers with his. “I want to. I really do. I’m just…I haven’t done it in a while, and I might be bad at it.”

He chuckles softly, squeezing her hand. “That’s what you’re worried about?”

“Yeah,” she answers, avoiding his gaze. “Is that weird?”

“Not at all. But you underestimate yourself. You have no idea what you do to me.” He pulls her towards him, heart pounding at a rapidly. “I’m crazy about you. Nothing you do can ever be bad.” His smile widens, eyes twinkling with adoration, teasing, “Except for when you play the guitar.” This draws a laugh from her, alleviating the tension. He cups her face tenderly, adding, “We’ll go at the pace you want. You call the shots. Got it?”

She leans into him, easing up. “You’re a sweetheart, you know that?”

“Takes one to know one,” he replies, grinning.

She paws at his chest, kissing him. “Alright. Let’s do it then.”

Surprised at her quick decision, he confirms, “Are you sure?”

“Positive. I trust you.”

She hops off him to undress, him doing the same as he lays with his back on the mattress, quivering with excitement. They’re both naked, clumsy and giddy in their movements, maneuvering around each other into a comfortable position, her laid out on the bed, him on top. He still can’t believe this is real. He’s fantasized about this on plenty of occasions, shamefully fondled himself to lewd thoughts of her in his wild imagination. He’d do anything to make it last forever. The clock ticks in the back of his mind, and there’s an impeding dread building in his core, aware that eventually, their time will run out. He waves it off, cherishing this as long as it's here.

He reaches inside the drawer for lube and a condom. When he starts to rip at the plastic, she says, “You don’t have to put that on if you don’t want to. I’m on birth control.”

He swallows nervously, jaw slightly dropped, “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I want all of you inside me.”

“Fuck,” he pants, exasperated from the sheer idea of it, tossing the condom aside. “I don’t think I’ll last.”

With another smooch, she giggles. “I don’t care. I just want to be close to you.”

“Me too. I’ve wanted this for a while,” he admits, pouring a generous amount of lube in his palm, coating his cock. He taps the tip of his dick on her clit, sliding it up and down her pussy before guiding it in slowly. When he bottoms out, she coils her legs around him, whining, “Oh fuck.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Absolutely yes.”

He begins to thrust, her pussy gradually adjusting to his size. She grabs on to his shoulders for stability while he pounds away at her, his movements becoming more erratic with each fluid motion. A high-pitched whimper escapes her when he hits that sweet spot, sending her soaring, him right along with her. “Fuck, baby, right there. Don’t stop.”

He’s unraveling too, rasping, “That’s it, isn’t it sweetie? I’m hitting it good, huh?”

“So good. So fucking good.”

It’s better than he could ever imagine. Divine, euphoric, completely out of this fucking world. He tips her chin to face him, driving his tongue into her, tasting her syrupy saliva. Her lips are pursed around him, collecting more of his spit. It’s messy and nasty. Intimate and sensual. It’s theirs. Completely lost in each other, just the two of them, free to do as they please. Ecstasy courses through his veins and he’s almost to the hilt. In between kisses, he purrs, “Can you come for me, princess? Can you be a good girl and cream all over this cock?”

“I’ll be a good girl for you. I’m your good girl,” she responds, tongue lolling, drool leaking from the corners of her mouth.

“Yes you are,” he says, licking off her dribble, fucking her rougher, hungry for her orgasm. “You’re my girl. You’re my fucking good girl.”

Soon, she’s clenching him, squeezing his torso tight with her legs, crying out, “I’m coming!”

It takes everything in him not to follow her, greedy to have her in one more position before he’s finished. He pulls out, marveling at his cock coated in her shiny cum. His entire being is prickling with a high he doesn’t want to descend from yet. He’s chasing it, intoxicated by it, addicted to the way her body melts into his. “Turn over for me. Get on all fours.”

When she does, she sticks her ass out, teasing his stiff cock between her cheeks. “Give it to me, Eren,” she begs, kneading his shaft. “Fill me up.”

Without a second thought, he pushes inside her. It’s a smoother stretch, a perfect fit for his cock. Craning her neck to glance at him, she says, “You’re fucking incredible. Always so sweet to me.”

The praise spurs him on. “Yeah? You like it when I fuck you like this?”

“I love it. Please don’t stop.” She throws her ass back in tandem with each pump of his dick.

“I won’t, sweetie. Not until you come for me again,” he grunts, speeding up his backshots, focused on the way her ass jiggles with the slam of his hips. He’s unsure how much longer he can last, considering he’s been hanging on by a measly thread ever since her first climax. He reaches for her clit, tapping it with his forefinger. “Come for me. Let go, sweetheart.”

At that, she swears loudly, clinging to his cock with another intense orgasm. “That’s my girl,” he coos, thrusting in as deep as he can, groin pressed to her ass. “Can I fill you up now?”

She nods, buried in the pillow, muffling, “Give it to me. I need it. I need you.”

He shoots his load inside her, stuffing her full. She kneels in front of, back to his chest, neck turned to kiss him sloppily. He drags her bottom lip down, beckoning her to open her mouth. She does, sticking her tongue out while he caresses his thumb across it, delighting in the wet heat. He watches with a hazy expression as she sucks on his finger, removing it slowly, trailing down to her swollen clit, flicking it. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, snuggling his face to hers.

“Eren,” she whimpers, riding his hand.

“It’s okay. I’m right here. Just enjoy it. I’ve got you.”

~~~

Breakfast arrives to the dorm way past noon, close to 3 PM. Eren knows one of the chefs at the cafeteria, who whips him up two breakfast burritos and an order of tater tots, even though it’s already technically the lunch shift. It’s delivered to him by another friend, Sasha, who is the chef’s girlfriend. They chat for a while at the door, Sasha failing to sneak a glimpse at you, hiding in bed beneath the blankets. When the door shuts, you reveal yourself, giggling. “Did she see me?”

He smiles, pecking you on the forehead, sinking into the mattress beside you, setting the food aside. “She definitely saw something. She kept asking what was in my bed. I told her it was dirty laundry.”

You raise a brow at him, joking, “So I’m just a pile of dirty laundry, huh?”

He laughs, pinching your cheek. “You’re more special to me than that. You’re a pile of clean laundry, is that any better?”

You twist your leg around his, cuddling closer to him. “That’s much better.”

Following your second orgasm this morning, Eren made you come once more, teasing you with his fingers until you were begging for him to fuck you. Conveniently, he had never pulled out of you, warming his cock inside your pussy until he was erect again, ready for another round of love making. Is that what you’re calling it now? Because fucking is too crude to describe what this is. It doesn’t do it justice; it’s more special than that.

Your time with him has been nothing short of amazing. A vacation in paradise. All your worries have disappeared, leaving you in total bliss with the person you trust the most. The idea that this could be your life every day makes you giddy. But there’s that nagging feeling at the back of your mind, reminding you that this is only temporary, a brief escape until your return to reality. There’s so much you need to do before you open your heart to him, so much healing you have to process before you lower your walls and let him in, for his sake and your own. It wouldn’t be fair for Eren to love you when your heart is still broken. He deserves love that’s stable, one that won’t crumble or falter at the slightest crack. You have to let go of the past that continues to haunts you, confront it instead of running away.

The two of you eat your meal in his bed, watching a show on his laptop. He holds his burrito in one hand, the other massaging your back tenderly. You rest your head on his shoulder, munching on your food, enjoying this inkling of domesticity. It would be easy to fall into place like this. To fall into the synchrony of his life. To fall in love with him. And it’s not the type of easy that’s convenient because you’d rather avoid conflict. It’s the type that’s natural, effortless. It seems that way because you won’t be facing it alone; you’ll have each other.

~~~

��I don’t want this to end.” She mentions it as they’re cuddling in bed, after more love making. Is it too early for them to call it that? Because Eren can’t think of a better term to describe it. He’s pouring every ounce of love he has into her, to show her that she’s deserving of it.

They’ve spent the whole day in his room, indulging in one another, loving each other to their heart’s content. The evening approaches in the next hour or so, and their moment in the sun is coming to an end, whether Eren likes it or not.

He nuzzles his nose to hers. “It doesn’t have to. We have the rest of today. Then tomorrow. Then the next day. We’ll take it day by day. Baby steps, right?” It’s the advice she gave him not too long ago, when he was having doubts about his major. The words she recounted time and time again throughout her breakup. He repeats it, hoping it resonates with her as much as it does to him. “As long as we have each other, we’ll get through anything. I truly believe that.”

She smiles, kissing him. “Me too. I just wish we could run away together. Leave it all behind and start fresh. Forget about all this.”

“Maybe we can.”

“What do you mean?”

He sits up, shuffling out from the covers, clutching her hand to follow. “Come on. I want to show you something.”

Taglist:

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daisynik7 · 2 years ago

Text

Give You Blue

Chapter 8: How It Begins

Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)

cw: switching POVs (reader is 2nd person, Eren is third) angst, fluff, language

Word Count: ~3.5k

Previous Chapter | Epilogue (coming soon)

Give You Blue Masterlist | ao3 | Give You Blue Taglist

Summary: The conclusion of the series Give You Blue. Author’s Note: Seriously, I cannot thank you all enough for sticking with this through the end. I wanted to write a story that was realistic, relatable, and romantic, and I hope that in the end, I accomplished that. I wasn’t sure anyone would want to read a story like this, so I’m so grateful to all of you who have. I appreciate every single one of you so so much. I’ll definitely miss this series, but I’m also relieved to be give our main characters some rest LOL. Stay tuned for the Epilogue, coming out in the next week or so!

Eren fingers are entwined with yours, hands resting on the center console of his car, windows rolled down halfway to let the passing breeze sweep through his hair. Every so often, he’ll glance at you, smiling, sunglasses covering his eyes as he drives the familiar route towards the bridge between Paradis and Marley. The radio plays songs you’ve listened with him before, during all those little hangouts inside his room. Choruses and verses he’s demonstrated for you on his guitar, impressing you with his skills. He hums each tune happily, thumb tapping against your skin in tandem with the rhythm.

Nearly three months ago, you were in the passenger seat, that time in Reiner’s car, driving the same road, but in the opposite direction, observing the ocean blue with tears in your eyes and a broken heart. Wondering what would happen next after losing what seemed like everything to you. Because Reiner was everything to you. Was.

Now, you see your future in a clearer light. Instead of storms or perpetual rain, you envision sunshine and bright skies, filling you with warmth that has since slipped from you since your breakup. You’re no longer lost; rather, you’re wandering to something new, something different. Something wonderful. And you can’t help imagining Eren on the other side of that, welcoming you with open arms. Still, the journey isn’t over. In fact, it’s just beginning. And before you reach your destination, there’s obstacles you need to face to make it there in one piece.

Halfway into the drive, you realize where he’s taking you. It’s his little paradise he told you about before, the special beach he goes to for an escape. It’s my super-secret spot. You have to be really special to know about it. I’ll show you this one day. You’ll love it. Even then, several weeks ago, Eren invited you into his world, deeming you special enough to share it. He trusts you, is giving his all to you. And you wish your heart wasn’t so damaged still, so that you could give him the same. The love that he deserves.

He pulls into a spot right off the shore, letting go of your hand to put the car in park. “We’re here,” he announces, grinning. At the trunk, he pulls out two blankets, handing you one to carry. He leads you down weathered stairs towards an alcove hidden away from the main beach. The sand is soft against your feet, sinking in with each step. The distinct melody of waves crashing on the shore is soothing to your ears. It really is paradise, especially with Eren guiding the way, turning back occasionally to flash that winning smile at you. Eventually, he settles for a spot far enough from the shore to where the water doesn’t reach, laying the blanket flat. He sits cross-legged, focused on the view in front of him. He’s at ease, the tension from his shoulders relaxing, his sunglasses reflecting the glare of the golden hour. You take your place beside him, indulging in this sight. Their last moment together in the sun before you return to reality.

The scene is amazing, streaks of orange and pink mirrored in the shimmering blue sea. It’s too majestic to stare at directly, so you watch it rippling on the ocean surface. With the sun gradually sinking into the horizon, Eren scoots closer, nudging you. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

You rest your head on his shoulder, nodding. “It is. Thank you for taking me here.”

“I know it’s not exactly the runaway you wanted, but it’s the best I could give you,” he mentions, leaning into you.

“This is exactly what I want. To be here with you.”

The two of you sit in silence, admiring the sunset until it disappears, and the night sky takes over, like a curtain falling after the final act. You’re holding hands now, squeezing each other tight, desperate not to let go. Maybe he senses it too, the end of this tiny getaway together.

“Eren,” you start, voice trembling.

Before you can continue, he turns to kiss you on the forehead gently. “It’s okay. You can be honest with me. I can take it.”

Tears stream down your cheeks, his thumbs brushing them away as he cradles your face between his palms. “I’m sorry,” you sniffle. “I’m so sorry, Eren. I wish I could give you what you want, like what you’ve given to me. But I can’t. Not right now. I need time.”

“Then I’ll wait for you,” he urges, placing delicate kisses along the corners of your eyes, collecting your tears on his lips. “I’ll wait until you’re ready.”

You shake your head, refusing. “I won’t let you do that. There’s a whole world out there, people without baggage, without a broken heart. They’re so much better for you than I am. It’ll be so much easier than dealing with a mess like me.”

“I don’t want easier. I want you.”

“Why? Why me?”

He smiles softly. “Because you make me happy.”

You continue to cry, asking, “How can it be that simple? What if you get sick of me? What if I can’t make you happy anymore?” It’s what happened with Reiner. He decided one day that he was no longer in love with you, and in an instant, the life you built together disintegrated into a pile of dust. Remnants of precious memories wasted away into nothing. That’s what it felt like. What if the same happens with Eren? What if you weren’t meant to be loved at all?

He keeps holding your firmly in his grasp, a look of determination in his face. “There’s so many what if scenarios you can give me. I won’t pretend to know exactly what the future has in store for us. But all I know is that I’m the happiest when I’m with you. I’m not going to let something like this go just because I’m worried it might not work out in the end. If I’m going to take a leap of faith, it’s going to be for you.” He nuzzles his nose to yours, grinning. “And who’s to say that you won’t get sick of me?”

“I would never,” you reply, gazing at him through weepy eyes. “But I’m scared of becoming a failure again.”

“Having your past relationship end doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Love isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about learning and growing. Realizing how capable you are to love somebody and allowing them to love you. Isn’t that such a wonderful thing?”

You watch him, awed by his wisdom. As much as you wish it could, it’s still not enough to take the fear away from your fragile heart. After a moment of silence, listening to the gentle waves splash on the shore, Eren says, “Can I tell you something?” It’s dark now, the chill from the night air prickling your bare skin. He unfolds the second blanket, wrapping it around the both of you. You nod, huddling closer, relishing the warmth he always surrounds you in.

“I emailed my advisor. I have a meeting with him Monday morning. I’m officially going to change my major,” he announces proudly.

“Really?”

“Yeah. No more running away. I’m not scared anymore. That’s because of you.” He faces you, eyes shining like emeralds in the pitch black of evening. “You’ve given me the strength to do this. To take control of my life and make decisions for me, and not for anyone else. With you by my side, I can do anything.”

“Eren,” you whisper, chest heavy with adoration.

He presses his forehead to yours. “I wish I could take away the pain. Take whatever hurts you and make it disappear. You have no idea how special you are to me. So, I’ll wait for you, whenever you’re ready to share your heart with me. Until then, I’ll stay by your side, as your friend, as your RA, as a person who cares deeply about you. I’ll always be here for you, okay?”

You swallow hard, tears trickling down your cheeks as you kiss him, unable to express how much he means to you, letting your lips do the talking instead. It isn’t fair to love him with a broken heart; he deserves to be loved fully by someone who isn’t afraid of it. Someone who’s healed instead of damaged, steady without stumbling at every little crack in the pavement they come across. With time, you’re determined to become that somebody for him.

Eventually, you find the will to speak. “I won’t make you wait long. I promise.”

He laughs, snuggling closer to you under the blanket. “Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise.” You hook your finger around his, swaying it between you.

Eren drives back to campus with your hand in his, brushing his thumb across your skin affectionately. You part ways outside his room, kissing each other once more before stepping down the hallway to your own room. You scroll through your phone to find Reiner’s contact, determined more than ever to settle this once and for all. No more running away.

Without hesitation, you type out your message.

Reiner. I’m ready to talk.

~~~

Sunday afternoon, you and Reiner agree to meet at a café on-campus, one that the two of you frequented freshman year when you were a couple. Upon your arrival, you notice that he’s already sat at a table, waiting for you, two drinks set in front of him. You sit across from him, back straight and neck tall, twiddling your thumbs at your lap where he can’t see.

“I already ordered,” he comments, pushing the coffee cup towards you, reciting the drink name and all the specifics of how you typically like it. Proving that he hasn’t forgotten.

You take it into your hand, tipping it into your mouth. “Thank you,” you say after swallowing your sip.

There are a few beats of awkward silence before he starts speaking. “I’m sorry about the other night. I shouldn’t have ambushed you like that.”

You nod in acknowledgement, fixated on the lid of your drink cup, nervous to meet his gaze.

“I meant it, though,” he adds. “I still want to get back together.”

You take a deep breath, choosing your words carefully. “Why all of a sudden?”

He shrugs, circling the rim of his cup with his finger. “I realized how much it sucks to be alone.”

“So, by default, I’m supposed to bail you out? It doesn’t work like that, Reiner. You can’t love me only when it’s convenient for you. That’s not love. That’s selfish.” This time, you do look at him, finding the confidence in your voice.

He doesn’t speak, facing the window, averting his eyes from yours. When he doesn’t respond, you continue. “It’s hard for anyone to be alone. Imagine how I felt when you broke up with me.”

Finally, he replies, “And you’re right. I was an idiot to do that. We should have never broken up. I didn’t know it was going to be so fucked up.” He trails off at his last statement, as if he’s just realizing it himself.

“You weren’t in love with me anymore. It wouldn’t have been fair for either of us to stay in a relationship like that. And you were right: we relied on each other too much. So much that it hurt the most when we couldn’t anymore.”

Suddenly, he holds your hand, grasping it firmly. “Then let’s go back. It’ll be better this time. I’ll be better.” He’s desperate now; it shows in his pleading eyes and quivering speech. The tightness in his grip as he clings to you, frantic.

You don’t pull away from him, squeezing him in return. “I don’t want to go back. I want to move forward. I can’t keep relying only on other people. I need to rely on myself, first and foremost. Stand tall and make choices because it’s what I want to do. That’s what growing up is all about, right?”

“And you’re not scared?”

“I’m terrified. But we shouldn’t let fear prevent us from moving on and being happy. I don’t know if you and I can make each other happy anymore. I was so careful with you, to a point where I was lying to myself about being fine with the decisions you made. I guess I always felt the need to protect you. It’s been that way since we were kids. As much as we don’t want to admit it, we’re different now. Everything is different. It’ll never be like it was, no matter how hard we try to recreate it.”

He revels at your words, a glimmer of defeat in his expression, understanding that there’s nothing else he can do to change your mind. After a minute of contemplation, he ponders, “You think that it could have worked out if I didn’t break up with you?”

You don’t answer right away, delicately formulating your reply. “Somehow, we stopped communicating. I went along with whatever you said, even when I didn’t agree. And you didn’t talk to me about the fears you were having before you broke up with me. I think we were so focused on protecting each other’s feelings that we stopped being honest to one another. I think eventually, we would realize that and break up anyways.” You take another sip of your drink before asking, “Do you think it would have worked out?”

He opens his mouth, then closes it. Eventually, he replies, “I guess when you put it like that, then no.”

You keep your hand in his, because this time, it’s really the last. And it doesn’t feel dirty or wrong to do it; it feels right. Like there’s finally that understanding that you’ve been racking your brain for the last three months.

“Maybe we were better off staying friends,” he muses.

“Maybe. But I don’t ever regret loving you, Reiner.” You used to think the same thing, convinced that crossing the line from friends to lovers was the vital mistake that doomed your relationship. With Eren’s words replaying in your head, you can’t say you believe that sentiment anymore. After all, Reiner has and will always be your first love. The person who taught you how to love and to receive love in the first place. Despite it not working out for the better, nothing will replace that.

He returns your smile, still holding you. “Me neither. I’m sorry. For everything.”

Silence falls between you two once again, a comfortable one this time, full of acceptance that this is truly the end for you and Reiner. Attempting to lighten the mood, you ask, “So, are you and Christa official yet?”

He looks at you confused, then realization washes over him. “Oh, Christa! Yeah, no. Turns out her and her big in Delta Delta are super close, if you know what I mean.” He smirks, relaxing in his seat. “I never stood a chance.”

You let go of him, leaning back into your chair. “Bummer. I genuinely do think she is nice.”

“Yeah. But I’d be annoyed too if my ex was pushing us to be friends.” He clears his throat, crossing his arms over his chest. “What about that Eren guy?”

You raise a brow at him. “Really? You want to talk about him?”

“Not my finest moment, I know. But I’m still curious. Is he your boyfriend now or what?”

You shake your head. “No. I told him I need time.”

Surprised, he repeats, “Time? For what?”

“To figure myself out.”

“To figure yourself out?”

“Yeah. I don’t want to give him my shattered, fucked up heart. It’s not right.”

He continues to study you, confused. “So that’s it? You’re not even going to give him a chance?”

“He said he’ll wait for me,” you respond, belly fluttering as you recall last night on the beach.

Reiner leans forward on the table, invested. “He’s totally in love with you. If he’s willing to wait for you, he’s in it for the long haul. He’s already fallen for every piece of you, I guarantee that.”

“It’s not fair to him, though.”

“It’s not fair to yourself. He’s not asking you for a healed heart. He wants you just the way you are. Why deprive yourself from someone who’s already willing to love you like this?”

“Because I don’t want to make the same mistakes again!”

He sighs, drumming his fingers on the surface impatiently. “Look, I’m not going to sit here and act like I’m completely cool with it. But for the first time in a long time, I’m trying not to be selfish again. Don’t let our past influence your future. You told me you want to rely more on yourself, right? Then start with this. Trust your heart. Don’t run away. Go for it.”

“I can’t believe my ex is actually giving me dating advice,” you chuckle, seriously contemplating his encouragement.

“Consider this my parting gift to you. As your ex and as your former best friend. I want you to be happy. And if this guy makes you happy, why wait? If it means anything to you, just know I’ll be rooting for you, whatever you decide.”

You grin. “It does mean something. Thank you, Reiner.” You no longer see him as an obstacle standing in your way. Instead, he’s on the sidelines, supporting you. Rooting for you. It took three months of suffocating to surface. And now, you’re free. “Anyways, I should go. I have a lot to think about.”

He nods, remaining seated. “Yeah.”

You’re ready to walk to the exit when he calls out to you. “Coco?”

You turn to face him, heart thumping at the familiar nickname. The youthful twinkle in his eyes returns in an instant and all your childhood memories flash before you in hyperdrive, glimpses of your past life together. Laughing so hard that you’re clutching your bellies until you’re doubled over on his bed. Hidden under homemade forts built out of pillows and cushions, shining flashlights underneath your chins, creating hand puppets with shadows on the walls. Late night drives with the windows rolled all the way down, blasting music and singing at the top of your lungs as he speeds through the highway. Splitting milkshakes at the diner, blowing out candles on birthday cakes. Endless nights spent in each other’s arms, listening to his steady heartbeat. First kisses, first times, last summer and goodbyes. Three months ago, you would have done anything to go back. Now, you’re ready to move on. The final hit of nostalgia before you go.

He smiles at you knowingly, as if he’s watching the same scenes of your lives play out in his head. “Nothing. I just wanted to say that one last time.”

~~~

Eren is in his room, sitting on the floor, strumming the strings on his guitar randomly, not playing any particular tune. He recalls the events of last night, laying it all out on the table, confessing his feelings, revealing his vulnerabilities. He won’t pressure her to rush into this, knowing she’s still processing and healing from her trauma. Her thinking about him is enough. Until the day comes when they can both love each other fully, he’ll wait patiently.

There’s a knock on his door. He isn’t suspecting company, so he assumes it’s one of his residents here to report a problem. When he opens it, he’s shocked to see her in front of him, staring at him nervously.

“I told you I wouldn’t make you wait long,” she says, stepping towards him.

His chest is heavy, fluttering incessantly, and all he can do is laugh, closing the distance between them by wrapping his arms around her. “It’s been the longest day ever, actually. You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”

She snuggles her face into his chest. “Me too. I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into, though.”

He kisses the top of her head, smiling. “Tell me.”

“I can get very insecure and very anxious, so you’ll have to deal with that.”

“Okay. I can handle that,” he answers, inhaling her scent through his nostrils, filling his lungs with as much of her essence as possible.

“I want to talk about everything with you. I want us to be completely honest with each other all the time.”

Nodding, he responds, “I want that too. I want that too, sweetie.” He hugs her tighter, never wanting to let go.

“Also, sometimes I hog the blanket. But I don’t do it on purpose, I swear. I can’t control what my body does while I sleep.” She clings to him, peering up at him with the sweetest expression.

He nuzzles her nose to hers, joking, “Ah, well, I don’t think this is going to work out then.”

She glares at him playfully, pouting her lips. “That’s your dealbreaker?”

“Well, I guess I can make an exception. For you,” he teases, kissing her.

It began with an ending, and it ends with a new beginning. One journey closes, and another begins. It may not be easy, but what wonderful, magical adventure ever is? It’s the detours and bumps along the way that make it memorable, make it worthwhile. And with her by his side, and him by hers, Eren’s confident that they’ll get through anything. Together.

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