#its what they did when my other coworker had issues with her new contract

[killerpancakeburger]

Wow your boss sucks. Is that even legal? Like, aren't your responsibilities/opportunities listed when you're hired and limited by that? I know it's probably a "how it should be" vs "how it really is" but I just want your boss to bite dust with this behaviour

"Is that even legal" *channels the limited law classes Ive had* They are listed yes! But there is also a very convenient little sentence at the end of that list, which goes like "this list isn’t exhaustive" :) "it may evolve based on the company's needs and on the improvement of [name]'s skills" :) Indeed it is "what the law says" vs "what you'll be willing to put up with to keep the job".

I don't want her to bite the dust, in perspective this isnt so bad, but it's being backed into a corner that irks me/rubs me the wrong way. Also pretending everything was fine for three months and suddenly this??

It's also kinda funny that they (the whole company) dare to pull that shit when I know, and they know, that they're having a hard time recruiting. Hell, they know I'm reliable/do the job well, and according to my coworkers, that's not something that's easy to come by here, even if it sounds like the bare minimum.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Demon!AU Snippet

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After much deliberation and help from my merry band of short bottoms, here's the decidedly most PG rated snippet I could find, enjoy? Hopefully?

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"Oop, hot delivery girl, incoming," Raven whispered, a devious smile stretching over her face. 

"Wha-"

Clarke jumped slightly at the quiet thud beside her, eyes swinging around to take in the brilliant pink box now sitting squarely in the middle of her desk. Before she could react, a grey skirt covered hip slid just over the edge of her desk, nudging aside her nameplate and outgoing stack of mail to create an impromptu seat. 

"Morning, gorgeous."

She barely bit back a groan at the voice. 

Raven grinned, leaning forward on her elbows and looking up at the woman now perched on Clarke's desk. "Well, good morning to you too, Lexa."

Perfect. 

Clarke tried her hardest to stay focused on her annoyance at Lexa having such a brazen disregard for things such as personal spaces and belongings and the entirety of office etiquette, pushing down the thoughts of how well that satin burgundy shirt hugged every last one of her curves.

Cheeks pinking in failure, she compromised and settled on averting her eyes to the safety of her computer. 

"Oh, morning. Did you do something with your hair, Reyes?" Lexa questioned, reaching out right across Clarke's screen to gently tug on one of Raven's flowing locks. "Sexy. Looks good."

Sighing in resignation at the obviousness of Lexa's antics, Clarke stopped typing and flopped back silently in her chair, feeling that typical flare of anger. Because who did that? Who does this? Who just sits themselves down on top of a veritable stranger's desk and starts flirting with their coworker? Who practically shoves their ass in someone's face just to sweet talk and charm someone who is distinctly not the work area's owner?

"I did," Raven said, breaking through her silent tirade with pleased smile tinting her features. "Got it trimmed over the weekend and got an oil treatment. Thank you for noticing."

Feeling a pinch to her arm Clarke grunted a soft, "Ow," sucking in a breath as she rubbed the injured area and glared at her friend. "I'm sorry, okay? I told you I had a rough morning."

"Oh, no. What happened? Bad dreams?" Lexa frowned, tucking a wisp of blonde behind Clarke's ear before pulling back. "Or good dreams? 

Blue eyes flew up to the face obviously fighting a smile, an unreadable glint coloring the hooded gaze looking back.

Sucking in a breath at the insanely inappropriateness of that, at feeling somehow Lexa was currently seeing every flash of their torrid dreamtime coupling that was currently flying through her mind at that very moment. Clarke coughed out a quiet choking sound before clearing her throat with a shake of her head. "No," she stated, adjusting in her chair at the tick of a brunette brow and adding firmly, "and no... I'm fine."

Turning back to see her coworker smirking and glancing between them, Clarke narrowed her eyes and pointedly continued. "And I would've noticed eventually, Raven. It's been like five minutes since you sat down."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Lexa noticed at least," Raven flicked her wrist in dismal. "Who needs you?"

"Rave-"

"Ignore her, Clarke," she heard as slim fingers slowly turned her head forward and up, finding a heated grin zeroed in on her. "I need you."

The altogether too intimate touch and tone was gone before she could even begin to process it as Lexa casually moved to open the box beside her, flipping the top and continuing as though nothing had happened. 

"Anyway, I had a craving this morning and couldn't stop myself, but I definitely went a little overboard. Figured I'd share." 

Breathable oxygen still very much an issue after the gentle handling and warm words, Clarke dazedly looked down to see a small array of sweets. 

"Oh my God," Raven moaned, pitching forward over the span of their desks to look through the variety of cupcakes with eagle-eyed precision. "Have I ever mentioned I love you, Lexa?"

"Buttercream can have that effect on people," Lexa hummed, leaning a palm down to support her weight as she practically lazed back across Clarke's desk. "Help yourself. Just leave the-"

"I know, I know," Raven rolled her eyes, fingers already lifting a chocolate and caramel monstrosity out of the box and bringing it to her mouth. 

Snapping out of her reverie, Clarke drew in a quick breath and tsked at her deskmate as she sat back down. "It's like eight in the morning, Raven."

"So?" she muffled through a face full of cupcake.

"Technically, it's 8… 22," Lexa unhelpfully supplied, checking and then double checking the gleaming white gold watch sat neatly on her wrist. Clarke watched a slim finger drag through the chocolate of one of the cupcakes in a slow swoop. "Everyone knows you're allowed to sin after 8am."

"That makes no sense whatsoever," Clarke frowned, her focus now centered entirely on the woman draped over her work area. 

"Trust me, Clarke," Lexa assured in a whisper while bringing the frosting covered fingertip to her mouth. Full red lips wrapped around the sugary digit before sliding it back out clean. "I'm an expert."

With that Lexa hopped up, legs swinging out in a graceful swoop as she lifted herself back onto the ground and hands slid over her chest in a show of straightening out the delicate fabrics of her clothes. Clarke valiantly tried not to watch how the slick material bunched and tugged in all the right places, a small inner voice chastising herself when the only coherent thoughts were of the fit and cut of her outfit. 

It was annoying how everything seemed to fit like it was made for no other body than Lexa's own.  

"Raven, I have a meeting at 11 that I need you to push back to 3," Lexa said as she finished her preening and collected her confectionery haul. "Charles wants to go over the contracts for a new client so I'll probably be busy dealing with kissing his ass until lunch." 

"You got it, boss lady," Raven nodded, immediately turning to her computer at the instruction. "Not that I believe for a second you kiss anyone's ass around here."

"Oh, there's one or two," Lexa hummed, actually having the nerve to openly let her eyes trail over to Clarke for a moment, throwing in a final wink before sauntering away and leaving Clarke to her ruddy cheeked stupor. 

Traitorously her eyes followed after, watching the hitch and sway of rounded hips and long legs as they glided through the office in high, pristine heels. Strong yet slim shoulders flexed with the confident swing of toned arms as she walked like she owned everyone within sight. The dip of her back looked so good wrapped in the smooth material of her blouse, its color and texture seeming almost liquid in the sunlight that slanted through the tall office windows; its smooth deep color spilling over the curve of her firm, full, squeezable looking-

"You need some alone time with that view?"

"What?" Clarke startled, head snapping back around to see her wickedly grinning friend as she carelessly took another bite of her treat.

"You looked like you were trying to get her pregnant with that stare."

"That-... No. Shut up. I wasn't even-... Shut up."

"Articulate. But what I don't understand is why you act like such an angry virgin every time she's around," Raven said, thoroughly ignoring the horrified look that stretched over Clarke's face. "I mean the girl comes up with the dumbest excuses to come talk to you, and you barely ever say two words. At least none that aren't hostile."

"She doesn't though," Clarke argued despite Raven's dubious look. "She came here to flirt with you. 'Ooo Raven, your hair's so sexy'," she mimicked in a nasally voice, dodging the free hand slapping her away as she moved to caress Raven's admittedly beautiful black tendrils. "Besides her being an HR ticking time bomb with how obvious she is, you're married for God's sake."

"You're so dumb. She didn't come here to flirt with me, dude. She came to give you that," Raven laughed and shook her head, reaching over to tap a finger on Clarke's desk.

Clarke followed her line of sight, face scrunching up in surprised confusion at noticing the perfectly placed red and white cupcake sitting on the front edge of her desk. 

"Haven't you ever noticed whenever she 'accidentally' gets too many cupcakes, miraculously and mysteriously there's one red velvet in there? And it always miraculously and mysteriously ends up in your very own little combative ass hands?" Raven asked, rolling her eyes at Clarke's disgruntled look of dawning realization. "Homegirl sure as hell doesn't know my favorite flavor, I take what I can get."

"... I guarantee you, it's a coincidence," Clarke said immediately busied herself with fixing the arrangement of her work belongings. "Lexa's… I don't even know what. But thoughtful or kind or whatever the hell everyone here seems to think, isn't one of them."

"What has she ever done to you? Why do you dislike her so much?" Raven asked. 

"How do you not? She's so… I mean how does no one else see it? She's insanely unprofessional, and says just the, ugh. The things that come out of her mouth. She flirts with everything in a skirt and bosses people around who've been here for years. Besides, haven't you noticed all the weird stuff that's happened?"

"Clarke, we're a startup marketing firm that caters to millennials. Of course there's weird shit going on around here. It's a circus filled with idiots."

"No," Clarke said firmly. "You don't get it, you weren't here before she got here. Things were quiet and fine at the old building and now everything's crazy. Contracts always going missing, John literally just disappeared one day-"

"You realize he probably just quit."

"The whole office has this weird vibe now," she continued on a roll. "I have never seen so many mess ups and freak accidents in an office building of all places before in my life. And she's always just… there."

Raven just stared at her with a blank look of boredom, slowly chewing a bite of her cupcake before swallowing and shaking her head. "Again. You realize everything you described sounds normal for a company who's recently expanded, right? Personnel turnover, paperwork mistakes, general growing pains as they adjust? And you're blaming her for that? When she's literally been nothing but nice to both of us?"

"She just… rubs me the wrong way."

"I think your issue is wanting her to rub you the right way."

Clarke scoffed in an overwhelming show of disgust, ignoring the swoop of her stomach to needlessly re-straighten the pile papers in her hands before carelessly tossing them aside. "You've lost your mind if you think I could even think about her like that. I've seen the way she looks at other people around here, believe me, she's not all sunshine and cupcakes. There's something up with her... Besides, she's annoying. And cocky. You guys treat her like she's God's gift but in reality she's just another asshat lawyer who thinks she's the master of the universe… And she's not even that pretty."

Clarke hadn't meant to go on such a vitriolic vomit of words but it was hard sometimes having to listen to the endless poetic waxing of the woman's praises. It just never stopped, and Clarke genuinely couldn't understand how not one single other person seemed to be able to see through Lexa's bullshit. Her pompousness and irritatingly smooth talking at every interaction. Like somehow her taking the time to figure out Clarke's favorite cupcake and going to the trouble of buying it for her… and hand delivering it to her desk… could or should somehow make up for the salaciousness of her smirk.

"Hey, Clarke?" she heard beside her after a moment.

"What?" she breathed, trying not to let her frazzled nerves get the best of her as she faced Raven with expectant annoyance. 

"Can you turn this way?... Now do this," Raven asked, tilting her own head this way and that as her eyes roved over Clarke's face from different angles.

"Why?"

"Hm? Oh, I'm just thinking about what contouring would work best with your clown makeup, you gigantic fucking liar." 

She easily ducked the halfheartedly slap Clarke aimed at her shoulder before carelessly tossing her empty wrapper in the bin between them and swiveling to resume tapping at her keyboard. 

"I'm just saying," Raven continued, "you're fooling no one with that act. You'd have to be blind not to see how attractive that woman is. I'm happily married and even I don't exactly mind watching her shake her ass past your desk fifty-some-odd times a day. She's a hottie with a body, Clarke. Everyone, including you, can see that."

"You're as bad as she is. And I'm telling your wife you said that."

"Bold of you to assume I haven't said it to her myself... Granted, it was in the context of me wanting you two to just knock boots already, but she's aware I work with eye candy and she doesn't care. My lady knows I'm faithful, I can eye-fuck whoever I want."

"You and Anya defy all sense of reasonable relationship standards."

"That was part of the deal," Raven hummed, clearly becoming more distracted as she leaned closer to her screen and focusing on her work. 

Sighing deeply at the apparent dismissal, Clarke resigned herself to the day as she clicked back into the long list of emails waiting for her… and begrudgingly took a bite of her cupcake.

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More soon 😈

[kuramirocket]

Sonia Gutierrez dreamed of returning to her hometown of Denver as a television reporter for the city's defining news station: KUSA 9News. When she finally achieved it, however, it came at too steep a cost, she says.

Gutierrez says she was told that she could report on immigration, an issue about which she cares deeply, but only if she were to state her own immigration status on air in every story on the subject.

"I was put in a box simply for who I am," Gutierrez says.

She had never tried to hide that her parents had brought her as a baby from Mexico without documentation. But Gutierrez, 30, says she balked at the station's directive. She was told she could continue pitching stories about immigration, but, she says, she was asked to pass off her ideas and sources to other reporters.

Gutierrez is no longer with KUSA. Nor are two other Latina reporters. One had pushed editors to involve Black and Latino colleagues in more decisions about news coverage. The other's contract was not renewed five months after she had returned after having a stroke. She, too, had challenged station leaders on how they cover issues affecting Latinos in Colorado.

Over the course of a year, from March 2020 to March 2021, KUSA allowed each of the women's contracts to lapse without renewal, the way television stations typically part with their journalists.

"It is racist to require a Latino reporter, a Hispanic reporter, to disclose their own immigration status [to viewers] before reporting on immigration," says Julio-César Chávez, the vice president of National Association of Hispanic Journalists.

The outcry has focused an unwanted glare on Tegna, one of the nation's largest and most prominent owners of local television stations, just as the company faces claims of racial bias from a dissident investor.

"9News is the market leader in Denver and has been for decades," KUSA news director Megan Jurgemeyer says, "Having worked at another station in town, it was always viewed as the top competition and who we wanted to beat."

9News is unusually woven into the fabric of its parent company. Tegna's CEO Dave Lougee used to be the station's news director. KUSA's general manager, Mark Cornetta, is also the executive vice president of Tegna Media, the company's local television division. And Patti Dennis, a Tegna vice president and director of recruitment, is herself a former KUSA news director who still works out of the station's main building in Denver. All three are white, as are Jurgemeyer and Ryan.

Parent company faces its own issues with race

Tegna faces its own allegations of racial bias. An activist hedge fund, Standard General LP, recently nominated rival directors, saying it wanted to diversify the company's largely white board. 

In an April federal securities filing, Standard General accused Tegna of racist practices stretching back years.

In 2019, a sports anchor at the company's Phoenix station accused its general manager — recently promoted from a job as KUSA's sales manager — of making "loud and unwelcome racist and sexist comments about coworkers" at a baseball game, in a civil complaint reviewed by NPR

Jamie Torres, a Denver city council member, was among the Latina state and local public officials who met twice with KUSA executives following the dismissal of the three journalists. She says the meetings left her unconvinced that there would be real progress beyond some changes in language and style.

"The conversation felt just incredibly transactional," Torres says.

And it renewed long-held frustrations: Torres says the three Latina journalists had been hired after an earlier round of discussions between the station and Denver-area Latino officials about representation at KUSA.

"Why Don't You Pitch It To Telemundo?"

While in college, Gutierrez interned at the local affiliate of the Spanish-language network Telemundo. Back then, it was housed inside KUSA's headquarters. Though owned by Tegna, KUSA is an affiliate of NBC, and Telemundo is part of NBC's parent company, Comcast.

As Gutierrez rose at Telemundo Denver, she also pitched stories to KUSA.

She says she often heard back: "That's a great story idea, why don't you pitch it to Telemundo?" Her response: KUSA also needed to serve Latino families — the ones who speak English.

"After a while, when stories wouldn't get picked up, I would just take it upon myself to do the interviews, write up a little [script] and give it to the anchors and say, 'It's done.' To the producers, 'It's done. You want it or not?' " Gutierrez says it was easier to hand off the idea fully baked.

After a stint at a station in Columbia, S.C., Gutierrez returned to KUSA as a reporter. She says KUSA leaders told her that she could be a defining person for the station, someone who would thrive there. By her telling, Gutierrez ignored the little slights that accreted.

Then, Gutierrez says, she was told she had to disclose that she had been a DREAMer, protected from deportation through the Obama-era policy called Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, or DACA, before she became a legal permanent resident through marriage. She didn't see why viewers needed to be told that in each of her immigration reports.

Gutierrez says she received no response when she asked for concrete examples of how her status had compromised her reporting. And when she refused to go along, Gutierrez says, she was told she would have to pass her story ideas and sources on immigration to other reporters.

"It's not like there was something wrong with me or my reporting," says Gutierrez, who left last year. "There was just something wrong with who I was — a liability to them."

Allegations of unfulfilled promises

Aguirre, 34, a Mexican-American who grew up near Midway Airport on the South Side of Chicago, says she had been inspired to become a journalist to tell stories about Latinos that were not simply about crime and immigration.

She came to Denver after being an anchor at a smaller station in Flint, Mich. 

Aguirre says she believed her pursuit of community-driven news brought value.

"I can tell a story in a much different way than a female white reporter can because I lived it. I know the questions to ask," Aguirre says.

In April 2019, Aguirre suffered a stroke that resulted in a traumatic brain injury and paralyzed her on her left side; as she built back strength and returned in the fall.

After roughly six months, as new newsroom leaders rotated in she did not return to the anchor's chair. Aguirre alleges in a formal amended complaint she filed with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission earlier this year.

Aguirre left the station in March 2020. Her attorney, Iris Halpern, says the complaint is currently in mediation.

"Because they're KUSA, they can just get somebody else," Aguirre says. "They can get another Latino who fills that Brown category, who's cheaper, younger, greener and more afraid to ask any questions. Although I was recovering [from the stroke], I was still that woman who would push back. So I'd be in those meetings and I would ask 'Why?' "

"I was instructed not to wear my hair in a bun"

After two years as a reporter in Bakersfield, Calif., Lori Lizarraga says, she was told by 9News that she would be an asset and she joined the station. 

Lizarraga, whose mother was born in Ecuador and whose father is first generation Mexican-American, remembers saying, "'My voice will never track this [the word illegal] slew of words." She says she ended up shying away from stories involving immigration.

Lizarraga recalls even having her hairstyles vetoed. She wrote in Westword, "After six months, I was instructed not to wear my hair in a bun with a middle part anymore — a style I have seen and worn as a Mexican and Ecuadorian woman all my life. Not a good look, I was told."

"We Would Have Had Reporters On Every Corner"

Lizarraga, who left in March, says she hit an inflection point early last year. Colorado state regulators had just announced a record fine against a Canadian energy giant whose plant had been polluting nearby neighborhoods for years. She read up on it as she raced with a colleague in the official KUSA 9News van to the press conference.

"Ash was falling from the sky onto people's cars and yards and playgrounds," Lizarraga recalls. "Water was impacted."

She was struck by something else: The communities affected were heavily Latino. Yet, she says, state regulators had not consulted with those communities or even put out information in Spanish. And back in the newsroom, she says, producers focused solely on the size of the fine — potentially up to $9 million.

"I was very upset and I said, 'You know, if this were a community in a ZIP code just up the street with a different demographic, we would have had reporters on every corner ' " to interview residents, Lizarraga says. "And because this is a Spanish-speaking, low-income, largely immigrant community, we don't have an interest. We are choosing what is newsworthy based on what you care to talk about, not what is actually newsworthy."

"We have to confront management"

At KUSA, Lizarraga says supervisors resented her for demanding that African American colleagues be consulted on coverage about Floyd's murder and the protests. She thought they had a right to weigh in on questions such as: How much of the video of Floyd's death should be shown? When and if the word "riot" was appropriate? How much coverage should there be of police tactics?

Lizarraga says she rallied colleagues of color to object when the station decided to stage a town hall meeting on race and equity hosted solely by a white anchor. Instead of channeling that fervor, Lizarraga says, it was largely deflected.

"We can't be exhausted, we can't be scared," Lizarraga recalled telling colleagues. "We have to confront management and tell them that we have ideas and that we deserve a spotlight right now."

Meanwhile, she says, she was not recognized for the initiative she showed, such as the data-driven pieces that officials and advocates said (in text messages reviewed by NPR) served as a road map for government agencies seeking to arrange COVID-19 testing in heavily affected Black and Latino neighborhoods.

Life after KUSA 9News

Gutierrez now works across town at Rocky Mountain PBS. Aguirre is a local news anchor and reporter in Asheville, N.C., part of a television market that is about half the size of that of Denver.

Lizarraga returned to her family home in Dallas. In late March, she published her allegations against KUSA in Westword. "What Lori Lizarraga did took a lot of courage and bravery," the NAHJ's Chávez says, singling out Gutierrez and Aguirre for praise as well. "Journalism is an industry where a lot of people are mistreated, a lot of employees are mistreated, and discriminated against, and then people simply go quiet.

"For Lori to actually tell the world how bad the situation was, how bad she was being treated and how racist some of the management policies were, that takes real courage. She put her entire career in jeopardy."

In October, the Colorado ACLU will honor the three women for "fighting discrimination in the newsroom."

[zumpietoo]

Here’s the thing that Milly/Zelda/Kombucha/Dazey/Lisa/etc and all the socks in their drawers combined don’t understand. It is 20fucking21. If Cole Sprouse was some horrible abuser of women, rather than just the victim of his unfortunate taste in headcases (aka Lili and Bree) – he would be CANCELLED. No army of teenage fans, no amount of popularity in Hollywood, nothing could protect him in this day and age. If Bree had the receipts she and her fans claim she does… where are they? Why hasn’t she come forward properly instead of vague posting about Cole on Tumblr/Twitter/Insta/Twitch/wtfever? Why did all of their mutual friends side with Cole during their breakup? Clearly these people don’t remember when the Bree shit hit the fan. People were ready with RECEIPTS of her fuckery… the head games SHE played, all of her jealous stalking (which she also stalked Lili for a while!!), how she shit all over things that made him happy because they didn’t include her, how she told everyone he emotionally abused her when the reality was she thought they were going to get married and be 2GETHER4EVER (at 19 lmao ok), and then when it turned out he just kind of wanted a girlfriend to have sex with and play video games with (lmao like MOST 19 year old guys), she flipped the fuck out and called it emotional abuse. People had all her crazy documented back then, went after her across multiple platforms, and she ended up deleting everything and claiming it was “his stans” that made it impossible for her to come forward which… no… she just didn’t actually HAVE anything, no proof, nothing. Meanwhile, all of their mutual friends unfollowed her, if not immediately then definitely in the years following. The only reason Bree drops his name anymore is because it’s the only way she stays even close to relevant. It’s not because he actually abused her, mentally, emotionally or otherwise… it’s because she’s a tinkerbell who can’t deal with it when she’s not the most important thing in someone’s universe and when that turned out to be the case with Cole, she threw a bunch of accusations at him, stalked his new girlfriend (Lili at the time) etc. But never EVER in all that did she produce an ounce of proof. No friends that sided with her. No texts. No nothing. Because none of what she claimed ever actually happened.

Fast forward to Lili and we have the same issue. If Lili was the victim of Cole’s horrible emotional abuse… she’d put his ass on blast so fast. Lili has ZERO problem speaking her mind. She shit talks like it’s going out of style, and if she was the golden child of Riverdale, and was loved and adored by the producers and writers and RAS and the rest of the cast, and was the welcome wagon and all of the other stuff that her stans claim, if she went to ANY leadership and said “This is what happened, it was horrible, and I cannot be around my abuser like this” the CW would fire him. Or at least work to accomodate Lili if she was that beloved. Look at how fast they got rid of Ruby Rose on Batwoman when it turned out she was a nightmare behind the scenes? And she was the literal STAR of the show. And isn’t their narrative that the show leadership can’t stand Cole anyway (some of that is true, looking at you RAS and Ted especially, but that’s not because Cole is a nightmare to work with and more because KJ isn’t the fan favorite which, whatever)? Also if Lili DID get the network/show to give him the boot, which if he was abusive to her, she absolutely could, what would Cole do? Sue for breach of contract? When she should have mountains of proof after 3 years? When no doubt the show would’ve seen this behavior happening too? Like, what is their REASONING that Lili suffered and continues to suffer all of this grief that he’s supposedly causing her by flaunting Ari, etc? If she had proof, if anyone had seen all of this happening, they could’ve gotten him bounced in a heartbeat. Look at how fast ALL of Hollywood turned on Armie Hammer? Kevin Spacey’s accuser came forward 30 years after the fact, with almost zero proof and Hollywood cancelled him so fast. This isn’t the early 2000’s or even the early 2010’s anymore. It is 2021 and if Cole was really that horrible, people in the industry would know, and no one would work with him. But instead he’s still booking photography work, he’s still booking movies (two of them, Moonshot and Undercover), he’s inking deals with production companies. His past coworkers are excited to see him when they run into him on the street. Practically everyone who works with him says what a hard working professional he is (or they don’t say anything at all). His podcast that he helped produce and starred in won one of THE awards for podcasts, and is most likely getting a second season. And what has Lili done? Her poetry book was on the NYT Best sellers list for a week and then fell off. Chemical Hearts flopped HARD (to the point where she was recently pimping it MONTHS after it released). Covergirl filmed one commercial with her and did one print photoshoot with her, and then basically cut ties, having Lili put together her own photoshoots. Even if she didn’t buy her way onto PlusMinus or whatever it’s called, she still has 1 movie coming up and nothing else. Nothing even in the works that we know about. She’s the only one promoting Riverdale at all anymore because she has nothing else to fall back on. Honestly, the only reason she has pretty much any engagement anymore is because of her dog, who I actually think might be more popular than she is now. AND on top of all that, her recent whatever with Wallis apparently already has drama while Cole and Ari remain unbothered despite Ken and that other pap being dicks and all of the hate they Cari lobbed at them on a daily basis. Like, sorry Lili stans that she’s on the brink of irrelevancy, but if she had been abused and had her head fucked with like you all claim she has, she’d be lighting Cole up on social media because people would believe her, proof or no proof. Instead, she’s hanging with people who “only validate” her, including a toxic drunk bitch who basically trashed not only Cole but also Dylan at like, 3 in the morning all because Lili had to do a scene with her ex, and her mom who is KNOWN for feeding the fandom BS lies that she later gets caught out in. She’s trickling out a self-staged photoshoot because she hasn’t booked a real one in what? A year? She has 1 movie, and relies on her dog or breadcrumbing with another B-list actress to get her likes. I know its a tough pill to swallow for them and that’s why they’ve doubled down on the crazy so hard lately, but honestly it’s just sad now. There’s zero proof that Cole is anything they say, and if there was proof, Bree and especially Lili would be shouting it from the rooftops, but it doesn’t exist. There IS plenty of proof that Lili has zero work lined up, and a new drama filled relationship, and toxic friends (and that she cheated on Sam to be with Cole… something else they have absolutely NO PROOF of Cole doing). Sucks to be them I guess.

Even their concept of “abuse” consists of “Cole moving on and living his best life/OMG Cheater!!!”

And the latter applies to Lili, not Cole....

[ayatosmlktea]

Oh! Thank god you're ok with im requesting an imagine. Um if its not much to ask, can i have uh angst turns happy modern au levi x s/o imagine. Levi's s/o suffers from anxiety and mild depression so she gets really anxious and scared when she heard rumours that levi is cheating (which he is not) thank you!!

𝑹𝒖𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔

Y/N knew that she hadn’t been the best company the last few weeks. She knew that her depression was getting the best of her, coupled with her anxiety Y/N found herself more often than not retreating into herself. Levi constantly told her that he was there for her and that she could always come to him but Y/N knew that he was busy, now so more than ever. She put up a fake smile long enough to have him believing that she was fine but behind the facade she just wanted to lie in bed and disappear. 

Unfortunately, being a responsible adult with bills to pay meant that she had no choice but to drag her ass out of bed and go to work. Everyday was the same, spending eight hours a day sitting at her desk, filing paperwork, making phone calls and forcing herself to sit through conversations at lunch she didn’t want to be a part of. Y/N was taking a much needed bathroom break, the day was dragging on and she had woken up with a migraine that no amount of caffeine could tame.

 She needed five minutes to herself where people weren’t screaming at her over the phone over issues that were out of her control. It wasn’t their fault their director had decided to completely bypass their advice and do the exact thing they had told their client NOT to do. Y/N massaged her temples, willing her migraine to leave, she still had a few hours of work left and knew that it was going to be a long day. If Levi hadn’t been swamped with work negotiating new trade deals she would have gone to see him for a quick head massage. His fingers could work miracles. Just as she was about to open the stall door she heard hushed voices entering the bathroom.

“Are you serious?”

“I saw it with my own two eyes dude! They were kissing!” Y/N rolled her eyes, the office was always buzzing with gossip and she didn’t ever care for it. Especially not when all she wanted to do was hide under her blankets at home.

“Why would Levi be kissing Petra?”

Y/N’s hand froze over the latch of the stall door, the air was suddenly kicked out of her lungs.

“Have you seen the way she looks at him? You can practically feel the sexual frustration radiating off of her”

A ball of nerves settled in her stomach, her eyes were wide at hearing Levi, her Levi, being seen kissing someone else. A million thoughts were racing through her mind as she tried and failed not to picture the two of them together. Petra was nice, she knew they were together. She wouldn’t do something like that to her...would she.

“Oh my God do you think Y/N knows?” Y/N could hear the blood rushing in her ears, her whole body felt uncomfortably hot.

“I don’t think so. They came in together this morning and I saw him kissing Petra last night.” 

“That’s so embarrassing! I kind of feel bad for her”

The voices gradually grew fainter as the girl’s left the bathroom. Y/N felt like a  knife twist was being twisted in her gut, why hadn’t Levi told her? He had mentioned that he was going to be working late and had told her not to wait up for him, was this why? Y/N felt like throwing up, finding out that her boyfriend was cheating on her, from work gossip no less, didn’t help the growing feeling of despair. 

Rubbing her eyes to wipe away any tears that she refused to let fall she finally stepped out of the stall. Grabbing a paper towel she tried to dry her eyes as best as she could, there was only so long she could stay in the bathroom without drawing suspicion towards herself. Her eyes were bloodshot but there was nothing she could do about that, at least she could blame it on her migraine.

As luck would have, Y/N bumped into Petra on the way out of the bathroom. The orange haired girl smiled brightly at her like she always did and while Y/N usually returned it, she couldn’t bear to look at her. The fact that Petra was acting like she hadn’t been kissing her boyfriend behind her back was enough to make Y/N want to punch her in the face. Heat spread across the back of her neck and she stared straight ahead, completely ignoring Petra.

Sitting back at her desk she tried to focus on getting her work done but her thoughts kept torturing her with images of Levi doing things with Petra that he’d done to her. It was masochistic but she couldn’t stop them. A sinking feeling settled over her and the longer she thought about it the more she realized that it was probably her fault that Levi had felt the need to seek comfort from someone else. She knew that she could be unpleasant to be around, she had a tendency to push people away when she was going through a depressive episode.

Guilt and self-loathing made themselves at home weighing on her heart heavily, maybe it was for the best that they broke up.

Petra was Levi’s equal in their field and Y/N was, well, unimpressive. Nothing about her really stood out, she wasn’t funny or outgoing or as friendly as Petra was. Y/N bit her lip hard enough to keep herself from crying in front of all her coworkers. The final hours of her shift dragged on but she had somehow managed to survive until the end. Grabbing her bag she hastily threw on her jacket hoping to avoid running into Levi or Petra on her way out.

It seemed that the universe and everything else was against her, before she could even make it to the elevator she had been pulled into Levi’s office. The familiar smell of his cologne made her want to sink into his embrace but after having spent the entire afternoon stewing in her own self-destructive thoughts it made her feel sick.

The kiss he pressed against her temple left an acidic feeling in her throat.

“I missed you, what do you say we order in tonight? All these shitty contracts are giving me a headache” It had taken a while for Levi to completely warm up to her, while he wasn’t one for pda especially at the office she had taken pride in getting him to at least kiss her in the privacy of his own office. Now it felt like all that time they had spent getting to know each other was for nothing.

“Actually, I think I’m going to stay at my place tonight.” Y/N refused to meet his gaze, keeping her eyes glued to the floor.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! I’m just not feeling well, I don’t want my bad mood to rub off on you” She mumbled, pulling herself away from his embrace but Levi’s grip on her biceps tightened.

“I know when you’re lying to me, brat. Now tell me what’s wrong” Against her will hot tears threatened to spill over.

“Do you still love me?” Levi’s eyebrow raised, his eyes bore into hers wondering why she was asking him such a pointless question.

“You know I do” Her eyebrows knit together, turning her face away from him. She wanted to believe him but her anxiety was getting the best of her. He was probably only saying that because he didn’t want her to find out about him and Petra. He couldn’t really love her, not when she was such a mess. She could barely get out of bed in the morning, why would he want to be with someone like her?

“Hey,” Levi’s voice is soft, the tone he uses for when they’re alone. The pads of his thumbs brush away the tears that were falling down her face.

“Are you in love with Petra?” Gunmetal eyes narrow as his fingers stop moving along her damp skin.

“Where the hell did you get that ridiculous idea?” Y/N felt herself shrink under his gaze, no matter how many times she had seen it this was the first time she had ever been the subject of it.

“I uh, I heard some of the girls in the bathroom talking about how they saw you kissing Petra last night.” Levi sighed, his hands cupped Y/N’s face.

“I didn’t kiss her Y/N, I would never betray your trust like that!”

“Then why are people saying they saw you kissing her?” Y/N really wanted to believe Levi but if there were witnesses then maybe he was just really good at lying to her. She didn’t want to be caught off gaurd and end up looking stupid for not seeing the signs of a cheating boyfriend right in front of her.

“Baby, listen to me. I would never cheat on you! I love you so much and I wouldn’t do anything to ruin us. Petra wasn’t even with me last night. Please trust me” Levi’s eyes never lied, but she was too far gone in her doubts to shake them off.

“Why me?” Once again trying to pull away from Levi’s grasp she felt a wave of disgust course through her. She wasn’t special! There were so many other people who were better than her! She wasn’t pretty like Petra, she was just ordinary! Easily overlooked, there was nothing about her that Levi could possibly love. Who would want to be with something that was always depressed? It would be better if she just disappeared, he’d be better off without her.

Levi looked heartbroken, he couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth.

“Is that really how you feel about yourself?” Y/N felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment as she realized she had exposed the thoughts that were in her head had come out without even knowing it.

Tilting her chip up with two fingers Levi’s lips brushed against hers in a soft slow kiss.

“You are beautiful” he mumbled between kisses. There was no room to escape, Levi’s dominant presence always managed to make her feel cornered more so now that her back was literally against the wall.

“You are an amazing woman, I don’t care who you think is better than you because everyone else pales in comparison to you.” Y/N’s eyes began to water again, she hated crying in front of Levi but fuck if he didn’t know just what to say. Burying her face in the crook of his neck her hands gripped the material of his suit jacket like he was her anchor, the only thing keeping her from slipping into the dark recesses of her mind.

“I’m sorry” her words almost completely muffled but Levi caught them. It made his heart heavy to know that stupid rumors had caused Y/N to spiral into a mess of self-doubt and hatred. The fact that she had even considered the possibility of him cheating on her meant that he wasn’t doing his job of loving her properly.

“Come on, let’s go home. I think we could both use a shower and some pizza” Kissing the top of her head Levi stepped back, the sight of her bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks pulling at his heartstrings painfully.

“I love you, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have listened to those stupid rumors.” Y/N tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, an anxious habit Levi had picked up on before they had started dating. Grabbing her hands in his he held them over his chest.

“I want you to be able to come to me when you’re feeling down. I don’t care how busy I am, your feelings are important to me! You are no less beautiful or strong to me, even when you’re struggling” Y/N’s face lit up in a way that he hadn’t seen in weeks. He missed her smile and would do anything to make sure she always felt loved. Before the night was over Levi was going to make sure Y/N knew exactly how special she was to him.

[ddaenghoney]

chapter eighteen

masterlist link in blog description.

As a successful songwriter, you want nothing more than the acknowledgment that the chart-topping musical pieces are your own creations. But contracts, relationships, and the difficulty of facing the stakes involved head on, keep your mouth shut until pressure builds too much.

Pairing(s): Park Jimin x Y/N, Min Yoongi x Y/N

disclaimer: any characters depicted do not represent the actual personality of the respected idol in real life.

Series warning(s)/genre(s): Chapter-based written fic, Slow-burn relationship(s), Fake-dating, Unrequited love, Songwriter/producer!oc, idol!Jimin, idol/songwriter/producer!Yoongi, friends with benefits, drama, romance, smut, angst, fluff (updated as needed)

Chapter warning(s): physical confrontation as well as mob mentality in that there’s a small group verbally harassing OC in a scene; nothing gets too severe, but the repetitive badgering could make some uncomfortable. OC speaking her mind a lot.

Word count: 6057

if you enjoy please, please let me know!

On weekdays Namjoon’s cafe is generally flocked with business workers in the early morning. An inconspicuous assortment of people walking in only long enough for a to-go order to be acquired before they whisk back out the doors in their commute. With the constant flow and few amounts of people that sit down to chat and relax, you choose it as the location to meet with the leader of a girl group from SoundWave you were quite fond of.

Through a series of overly polite texts, she requested a chat to catch up, and you have a feeling there’s more to it than that. You stir your coffee with the straw, watching the ice go in a circle over and over, while contemplating what the other thing she wants to discuss is. There’s no reason for her to want to wake up before her schedule just to catch up, especially not when her group will start promotion for a comeback at the beginning of the next month.

You have an inkling of why she’s going out of her way, but a large part of you hopes to be wrong. You want to assume you left the artists you worked with with a better image than the one swarming around in your head due to sensitivity. If you’re wrong, it would make you happier, and if you are right you are not sure how you will take her opinion.

“Y/N,” Your head lifts as a voice comes from beside you. Brightly she smiles, removing sunglasses from her eyes and keeping her beret style hat secure on top of properly styled straight hair.

“Jihyo, it’s good to see you.” You can’t help a warm greeting in return, undeniably glad to see a familiar face that you’ve never had a problem with. If the people around the cafe were not rushing in and out so haphazardly, you would even take the moment to give her a hug, but an accumulation of increased awareness lately, causes you to simply gesture for her to follow along as you take your drink. “My friend’s the owner and said we could use this meeting room to talk.”

“This is the place you always brought drinks from then?” She comments as she walks in your trail, giving a sweet smile to Namjoon as the two of you pass him by.

“Yeah,” You nod your head, using the previously claimed key to open the doors. “His coffee’s my favorite. Maybe I’m biased though.”

“I’ll grab some on the way out. I’ve been missing it since you used to bring it for meetings.”

You fumble needlessly putting the keys securely in your pocket, nodding your head at her words as you switch the lights on. Recalling the people-- generally artists gives you a difficult time rationalizing your decision to walk away from the company. If it weren’t for how you were ignored for credit, you really would not have left. Even with Yerin in charge looming over everyone with her calculative manipulations, you could get over that because the coworkers you saw everyday made it endurable. Comfortable.

“I was actually kind of surprised to hear you wanted to meet up, to be honest with you.” You sit in one of the chairs surrounding the table. You leave your glass on the wood where you’re sure to forget it quickly. Jihyo sits a seat away on the same side, simply dragging it out to angle it towards you. “I doubt I’m a company favorite right now.”

“It’s pretty divided actually.” She admits, brushing back her hair from covering the faintest of smiles. “Empathizing or thinking you’re acting insane.”

You bite your lip. Which side of the line she stands on you’re sure to find out soon.

“No one expected the thing with Min Yoongi either,” She laughs slightly, without joy. Ironically. “Who would think he’d put himself out there like that-- get fired because of those songs.”

She doesn’t look at you as she speaks, so the discomfort slipping into your eyes is never seen. Like you expect from the employees of SoundWave, they all still view Yoongi distantly. Granted, his involvement in releasing music with you is still a shocking thing to consider as reality. Moments occur where you still worry if you’ve ruined something big for him, but his excitement about conceptualizing a new company of his own sets you at ease.

“Are you both dating now?”

You look up from your lap, finding Jihyo’s eyes to be tame and her lips curled in a giddy way. As though the conversation really is two people catching up without a more grand issue looming in the background. Accepting this moment of simplicity, you don’t stop your mouth from smiling in return. Your head nods in small, but quick jerks. Still new to telling, but you enjoy that you’re able to say,

“Yeah, we decided to become a couple almost two weeks ago.”

“That’s really cute.” Her words beam brightly like the little bop of her shoulders, finding this news nice. “He always seemed so hard to approach-- I think because of how popular he is, I guess.” She rambles along as her fingers push straying locks from her face. “Then again, I’m sure you both had things in common… Both of you being producers and songwriters and all that.”

Contrasting her initial endeared temperament, the reminder Jihyo’s final sentence seems to instill in the forefront of her mind causes her voice to drift into a quieter murmur. She stares towards your melting drink, a hand atop her thigh squeezing to cause wrinkles in the denim she wears.

Finding her remaining silent, you do nothing to fill in the gap with words. Instead, your eyes remain on her, realizing that Jihyo likely means to say whatever is pressuring her shoulders. Her mouth opens slowly, a word apparently clinging to her conscious and away from being said, but she manages to shove the thought out entirely,

“Are you going to tell everyone about everything you made at SoundWave?”

Your heartbeat feels like it rumbles for a short moment in your chest as she asks. The expression on your face remains poised, and you’re more surprised with yourself that you aren’t shocked by her question than you anticipated. Its presence in the air resembles, to you, a draft. You wish it wouldn’t be here, but you aren’t frustrated. Simply expected this.

Collecting your condensated glass into your hand, you take a languid sip, mulling over a reply to her. Frankly, you find yourself remaining in limbo on the topic. In some ways you want nothing more than to scream about all of your production in songwriting to everyone, but maybe you didn’t need to.

“It really,” Jihyo’s voice chips her phrasing like she isn’t sure whether to interrupt your processing, but she goes on. “Would be so bad for us-- us idols. We,” She stammers as you place the glass back on the table so casually, missing your furrowing eyebrows confused at her suddenly timid disposition, “We never wanted you or everyone to make everything for us, Y/N. So many of us want to make our own music. We didn’t want to take credit for everything you made-- you know my group especially didn’t.”

Your lips purse into a line, spine straightening slightly as her plead completes. Like your contract with SoundWave, every idol you are positive had clauses they should have reconsidered or questioned. Considering the chance of a lifetime in front of the people like Jihyo obviously they would overlook the idea that they would not produce their own music-- most likely satiated with the idea that after gaining experience they would be able to create as well.

You realize this. Undoubtedly, the majority of idols and groups did not ever want to claim your songs as their own, but had no choice other than to do so. Ever since the feeling of unfairness started springing within yourself to receive credit, this factor has prevented you from blindly going to the press with your story. You don’t want to ruin all of their careers.

“Jihyo,” You begin as your fingers curl atop the table, loosely forming a fist. “I don’t know if I’m going to tell anyone about it. I really want to, honestly, but-”

“You’ll ruin all of us!” Your lips clamp shut as she suddenly bursts out. “Y/N, I know it sucks for you-- I really do; but this isn’t about you. This is everyone’s careers!” Your hand tenses further as she groans, rubbing her face with her hands. “Don’t you know how many all-nighters, how many days-off, how much we-- I’ve given up to make it this far-”

“You’ve given up?” You say like a knife in her sentence. Your eyes narrow as Jihyo looks at you with startled confusion at your interruption, her hands pausing from rubbing her neck. “Jihyo, regardless of if I was involved, your schedule was always going to be that harsh as an idol.” Her mouth peeks open uncertainly, but you speak on, “Do you know how many things I’ve given up too? You’re not the only one who pulls all-nighters, and gives up personal time, but at least when you give it up you get rewarded with people knowing who you are, meanwhile I get to watch them all think all the work I put into everything was something you did-- what all of you get to claim you did.”

“I know, but-”

“You never even stood up for me.” Jihyo’s eyes widen as though she can see the betrayal of your statement-- the unhidden spite firing in your irises. “None of you ever tried to change anything. You say you never wanted to do any of it, but you all aren’t ever going to try and change it, are you? Watching me get shut down each time was answer enough.”

“Why should I have to fight for any change?” She shoves her words out in haste, appearing defensive as her arms cross. “If you hadn’t noticed, it won’t work. We all get our careers thrown away if everyone were to find out.”

“Because it’s wrong!” Your words loudly propel you forward, leaning towards Jihyo in your seat as she shifts back into hers. “You know it’s wrong! You’re all lying to everyone and letting me be the dirty secret of the fucking company and I’m just supposed to accept it? I’m just supposed to start over from nothing all because none of you have any kind of guts to admit that I’m the one who made your chart-toppers!”

Concern runs rampant in Jihyo’s eyes, mouth remaining gaped as you stare at her with even, full breaths heaving in your chest. Clamping her lips together, she glances towards your drink for no reason other than to avoid your lingering eyes that blister every nerve of guilt swarming in her mind. Shoulders tensing when she listens to you scoff, she wills herself to remain silent from timid retorts as you speak up once more in a voice barely louder than the sound of the clock on the wall.

“Why is it that I’m the only one ever asked to suffer in silence?”

Jihyo blinks her eyes tightly together, building a wall out of every ounce of strength to refrain from the hollow apologies that she realizes would do nothing for you. All she can do is stay in her bubble, presented on the stage with her members as the image given to them by SoundWave. The liberty you explain a desire for isn’t something she can take hold of, especially if her group’s reputation is smashed to pieces by what you could say to clear your name.

“Y/N, I know it’s never been fair of anyone to use you like this-- to always erase your name from everything you’ve created.” Her voice drips frailty off of words intended to appear sound with reason. Composure is lost on her and you can see it as she talks without reaffirming eye contact. You acknowledge the weight in her throat likely at odds with what she feels convicted to ask of you as well, and it makes you feel sorry for her. “But SoundWave isn’t going to do this anymore-- they’re going to let us write our own music now and credit properly, so it’s over at least.”

Your heart drops like a weight towards the ground, eyes instinctively narrowing at her words. Within moments you feel a tremble ricochet throughout your shoulders, and when Jihyo finally tests a tiny look in your direction you know your reaction is not the one she wished for.

“What-” You stutter out the words, shocked beyond belief that a switch in the company had been so simply flipped. She’s able to tell you this so lightly as if the decision came with ease following your leave. “I,” A ball in your throat feels made of metal, scraping your words into fury as you speak slowly, “That was all I ever wanted from them, and they do that now. They do that after I quit.”

“Y/N-” You stand up cutting off Jihyo’s statement before it begins. Shaking your head, you let out a single breathy laugh as your hands clench at your sides,

“I can’t believe this.” You mutter and start an exit from the room, ignoring the clattering on wooden floors behind you as Jihyo stands up.

“Wait, where are you going?” She asks without the sound of footsteps under her words, and you don’t care to look back as you reply simply,

“Away from here. I can’t take listening to this crap anymore, Jihyo.”

Without missing a beat, you pull open the door and exit back into the main cafe space. Remnants of the morning rush cause a small line to linger along with busy employees completing their tasks. Namjoon catches sight of you as you walk along, but doesn’t attempt any wave of goodbye as he notes the contortion in your eyebrows as you quickly mash keys on your phone. He only bites his lip and continues filling paper cups full of hot coffee.

You have no hesitation in turning left down the street to walk northwards, but no destination is in mind as you do so. All you do is exhale a sigh to release some of the frustration while the repetition of a dial tone vibrates in your eardrum.

“Hello?” Yoongi’s voice rings clear on the other side of the line along with the clicking tone of a car blinker.

“Hey,” You say in response, crossing your free arm so that your hand can squeeze the opposite elbow. “Were you busy?”

“No, just on the way to pick you up from the cafe actually.” He says easily as you nod your head gently. Walking slowly upwards on the sidewalk you have little time to tell him a new location before Yoongi’s voice gently inquires, “How’d it go?”

“Bad.” You say as the news stings like a dagger in your mind. Huffing, you shake your head, “SoundWave’s going to start letting them all make their own music. Credit properly.”

“What?” Yoongi’s voice sounds baffled and you can imagine his neck tensing rigidly with lips frowning at the implication of your words. You nod your head despite him being unable to see you.

“Right? After all the shit they said about it never being possible for me.” Yoongi listens to the frailty of your words, realizing that this news must hurt you so much to have heard. He bites his lips, hands gripping tighter on the steering wheel as he turns a corner,

“I’m so sorry, angel. I should be there in a few minutes and we can go somewhere to talk about it-”

Yoongi’s voice falters away from your ear due to a swift grip on the back of the arm holding the phone. Instinctively, you pull your arm towards yourself as you take a step away from whoever grabbed you. The sole of your shoe presses flat on the concrete as you turn, facing the face of someone you’ve never seen before in your life.

As words scurry around your head in confusion, you say nothing as you take in the appearance of the girl about your height, then your shoulders tense as movement behind her gives reason to look to another. As your focus collects itself you see more than just the two people, but another onlooker further beyond them as well as a person to your side that startles you as she calls out your name.

“What?” You find yourself responding to her call, another step away from the small semicircle they form around you.

“Why are you using Yoongi-” “You got him fired-” “Use your own talent to get a career-” “I bet you didn’t even do anything on those songs. You just want the clout-”

Between the five people, you can’t distinguish whose words belong to you. Continuing rampantly in bursts of ignorant anger towards you, they simply persist onwards. Without giving you any opportunity to defend yourself, all the voices overwhelm your nervous throat and wildly scanning eyes. You take another step away when one becomes particularly enraged as she speaks loudly and her hand reaches out.

Your hand smacks hers away before it can make contact with your shirt, definitively colliding with her skin to make a loud sound that seems to reverberate throughout the avenue. The quiet ensuing is wholly false, but you find it impossible to actually hear anything from them as their reaction consists of even louder yelling at you. Any lips you take a look at are moving and no one reaches again, but you know they want to force their opinions on you with the fury at which they speak.

And all the words you’re able to visualize assert your disgracefulness. In different ways, with strong enunciations you simply are the target of their blame. Everything they don’t know about behind the scenes of all the trouble you’re finally escaping from, they frustratingly paint you as the perpetuator. The reason that all is wrong. “You’re lying to get attention-”

“None of you even know anything!”

Your voice breaks their flow of thundering rage, silencing them entirely by the brutal and unforgiving confidence of your frustrated exclamation. Just like that they’re startled. The fuel of adrenalin leaves them to course through you as you glare in response to their actions. You reaffirm, “Quit blaming me when you don’t know even a percent of what I do!”

One towards the back of the group glances uncertainly at the others, and the one whose hand you hit away takes a step back. Like they didn’t expect you to speak against them. Your hands clench tightly as you remain erect in posture. Eyeing each of them, you find it almost impossible to stop yourself from blurting out every secret you’re obligated to keep for everyone else except yourself.

“What does that even mean?” A guy pushes the girl at the front of the pack aside, storming in your direction but stopping short of contact as you do nothing to evade him. Instead his shoulders shake from your consistent glare that he felt tense in front of. “You’re causing all the trouble!” He manages to fumble out anyways as he works up the nerve to take another step with his arm rising as well, making you begin to move back.

Before contact ever occurs, his wrist becomes clenched within the hand of Yoongi as he steps in between the two of you. A shiver in your spine nearly shakes your knees to a buckle as the sight of his back shielding you releases a wave of worry building in your head.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Yoongi asks lowly, simply throwing down the arm he took hold of as his eyes freeze the man. Disbelieving calls of his name from the small crowd mumble and gasp, clearly overtaken by just the sight of him. “What were you going to do?”

“Yoongi-” You reach both of your hands to clasp onto one of his biceps as he tries to step closer to them. “Let’s go,” His head shifts to look back at you, dark irises tinted with immense irritation from what he just walked up to. You shake your head as you consider what could go on if you both remain, and your fingertips tremble on his skin.“Please. I don’t want you to do this.”

Yoongi turns towards you, maneuvering his arm as your hands fall away so that he can press a guiding hand to your back. He looks back towards the group as you both only take a few steps. Ignoring the cling of your hand on his chest to continue him along, he speaks up with conviction, “If I find your names, I’ll report this.”

He takes no heed of their instant rebuttals as they call feebly out to the pair of you as you walk along. Instead, Yoongi drops his hand from your back to take hold of yours as he believes you’d prefer. Finding your fingers quickly intertwining with his own, Yoongi sighs, squeezing as the severity of what you leave behind catches up with him.

“Did any of them hurt you?” He asks the moment he enters into the driver’s seat of the car. The door slams beside him and your head shakes as you fumble with the seatbelt to get it latched. “Angel,” He shifts towards you, delicately cupping your cheek as your body freezes in response. “Are you okay?”

Seeing Yoongi’s eyes searching through your own for any of the discomfort you should feel is soothing. His palm warms your skin and in that moment you relish in the sensation despite the heat that remains in the air of early fall. The breath in your chest escapes through your lips, and Yoongi’s thumb twitches worriedly against your cheek.

“Yeah.” You nod slowly, overlapping his larger appendage with your own freely allowing yours to grip softly. “Honestly, I am.”

Yoongi doesn’t completely believe your words, if only because he can’t imagine how terrifying being so arbitrarily surrounded is. He bites his lip, head tilting as though to ask again.

“Nothing really bad happened.” You say shrugging your shoulder, and glancing downwards. “And everything they were mad about is completely stupid-- they shouldn’t have done any of that.” The hand you left atop his own, strays to glide slowly up his wrist and resituated on his forearm, gently guiding him from cupping your cheek so that you can return to holding his hand. “They really don’t know anything.”

“That doesn’t give them the right to act like that, angel.” Yoongi’s hand engulfs yours while he talks, prompting your eyes back up to his. You nod your head, entirely in agreement. The sight causes Yoongi’s brow to furrow slightly.

“Can you drive me to SoundWave?”

“What?” He blurts out on impulse, frowning more from bewilderment than anything else. “What for?”

“I want to talk to Yerin.” You say simply, as the reasonings those people threw at you return to your mind, as well as the worries of Jihyo that brought her to plead with you for the sake of her career, and the voice ripped away from Jimin petrifying him from ever expressing his thoughts to you until it was far too late.

Yoongi’s mouth opens to speak, but he stops from doing so. Your eyes give him the answer before he has to vocalize the question. Instead a small chuckle escapes him more similarly to a grainy breath. “Okay.”

Within the confines of the elevator, Yoongi stares up at the growing number as you both go higher up the building. Between your bodies he starts a tiny sway of your held hands, while he squints in thought before finally speaking,

“Not that I think you’re wrong to go and talk to her, but do you think it’s going to do anything?” He recalls his own efforts of very early on in the merger that subliminally requested a change of his image to represent something closer to himself. Just like the rest of the employees who try to escape the confines of narrowly set paths, Yoongi too was swiftly rejected in few words with only an explanation of there being no need to change something that works.

“Who knows.” You say not realizing until your voice comes out that despite the mellow timbre that there’s a hint of timidness as well. Yerin has always been the greatest shadow in your mind for years now. Someone you’ve never been able to stand across from and feel equal with because of her subdued confidence that showered her veil of control over the entire company. “I don’t think I care if it does anything. I’m just over this.”

“Should I wait out here?” Yoongi asks as you both step out of the opening doors. He ignores the obvious shock in his peripherals from the secretary that likely has no way to gauge how to handle your presence in the room. Everything on Yoongi’s side is practically settled, and you have simply been a former employee for weeks now; not supposed to be returning so high up in the building.

“No,” You squeeze tighter on his hand, turning your head to look up at him as you remain paces from the secretary’s desk. You speak quietly. “I don’t think you’ll have to say anything, but having you there would feel better.” You frown as you think that it may sound selfish to have dragged Yoongi along this far only to tell him he won’t actually do much. “You’re comforting for me…”

“Then I’ll go in with you, sweetie.” Yoongi says before gently pressing a tiny kiss to your temple, as you squeeze his hand bashfully. “I’ll cheer you on-- you can give me inspiration for a diss track-”

“Stop.” You smile, bumping your hip against Yoongi and continue the walk to the desk with him trailing alongside you.

Satisfied slightly that he could at least break away some nerves, Yoongi takes in a larger inhale than usual. Frankly he’s unsure of what you plan to say to Yerin, but considering all of the grief instilled on you so far from her, Yoongi doesn’t doubt it could be definitive. If you find closure from this, then he’ll be content with this choice of a blindsiding meeting, but he can’t help worrying that some emotions could create words inciting angry retribution on the side of SoundWave.

Your collected demeanor as you speak to the secretary, along with the full way you stand with shoulders straight and each leg stood with no slouch gives Yoongi something to relax about. When he thinks about one of the first times he interacted with you, an evident difference in your assurance exists. Where you had bumped into him escaping a meeting room, you’re now choosing to cut into any current schedule to speak to Yerin following the public reaction she’s passively caused.

Steadily, you enter into her office only minutes later, never needing to bother with waiting in a seat. Yoongi follows after you simply standing closer to the door while he watches you stride towards the desk. Yerin sits with relaxed posture, though her eyes go from Yoongi to you with perplexity.

“Should I have the lawyer present for whatever you want to talk to me about?” She asks instead of greeting, letting her forearms rest on the wood before her.

“Doubt it.” You say, not taking a moment in your head to consider where to begin. Everything you would like to exclaim to her flutters violently around, so much so you believe her narrowing eyes to be preparing herself for the eventual explosion. You want nothing more than to get a genuine apology to fall from her lips along with admittance that she was wrong to do everything to you that she has, but your calm heartbeat reminds you of the impossibility of that route.

You know she wouldn’t loosen her stubborn tongue to admit anything of the sorts. You could even assume she has no regrets so far. Watching our reputation’s stature diminish for years is nothing but a casualty in her calculations. Needless to fret about it when the product of your fingers has given so much acclaim to the company. All Yerin’s allowed happen is a choice made to receive the most lucrative result. Whatever happened to you is of little consequence.

“Did you ever think what you did to me was wrong?”

Your question’s candor rings softly in the room. Not timid, but somehow resigned. Almost like a test, Yerin believes as she continues to stare towards you without so much as a waver in emotion from the depth of the question.

“You agreed to it.”

“As a twenty-year-old worried about paying back my college.” You swiftly insert the context, shaking your head so as to not let Yerin detract from the severity of her contract in your life. “You know how much of an incentive working at a company like this would have been to anyone in my position. Any student, or young adult just starting out. You used it against me.”

“You could have walked away.” Yerin reaffirms before sighing as she sits back in her seat. “Considering all of that about yourself back then, what would you expect a company to do for you? That was your chance back then to start in the career you want. Everyone starts small; why would there be an exception for you?”

“You came to me.” You say with an even voice. Yerin’s hand curls on the table, visually reacting slightly. “I submitted songs for a contest, but you came to me with a contract. I didn’t see anyone else getting contracts back then,” You cross your arms and your head tilts with your blunt conclusion. “You saw enough in me to seek out a long-term job, and you didn’t want me to leave when I didn’t re-sign. You can’t try to convince me otherwise of that.”

“Of course I didn’t.” She says with a scoff. “I don’t deny you’re talented-”

“But you denied me from showing everyone else that!” You assert as your arms gesture to emphasize your frustration. “In some ways, I could understand you not giving me credit as a new rookie at this job, but I worked here for five years. I have nothing to show for it anywhere because you wanted me to be stuck here for the rest of my career, and you know what? I probably would’ve stayed for a long time if you would have just given me the damn credit that I deserved!”

Yerin remains quiet as you pause to take a breath and collect yourself from the startling rant. Her jaw tightens along with her fisting hands on the desk and shockingly to you, she averts her gaze to the side. Swallowing down any nerves, you go on without remorse as you attempt to hit every point you can,

“Now I hear you’re going to let the idols produce, and give all the songwriters proper credit. Everything you did to me is going to just be me, huh? You won’t do it again because you know it’s wrong-- you know whoever you trap is going to end up wanting out just like me and you’re not willing to take any chances on this perfect company image getting messed up by some songwriter, isn’t that right?”

“Y/N, I’m not the only person in charge of these decisions. There’s a board. You know that.” Yerin says at a low volume. She still looks from you towards a window overlooking the city that you doubt she’s focusing on. She’s in the wrong. She knows it and you can see her silently admitting it whether she wants to or not. But no responsibility claimed.

“When Jimin, Jihyo, and all the other idols here wouldn’t take my side it was because you’re in charge of the decisions.” You say before scoffing, watching her flinch from the sound and turn to finally face you. “When I come up here to talk to you about it, you say it’s because of the board. It’s always someone else’s fault that I couldn’t be helped. You’re the CEO. If you knew this was wrong, you should’ve said something. It’s your job to look out for the company, but it’s also your job not to be spineless and pass blame around.”

Yerin’s eyes widen at the end of your composed speech. Standing up with intent to challenge your words, she opens her mouth with a glower aiming at you, but freezes as your eyes narrow and you take a step forward to stop just short of her desk,

“I just practically got attacked before I came here because people think I ruined a career just by having my name in the credits of his songs.” You coat your words with convicted resentment. “All of my friends are begging me to stay quiet because their careers could be ruined by me saying I wrote so much of their music. I wouldn’t have to be everyone’s enemy-- I wouldn’t be hated by so many people right now if you hadn’t forced everyone in this company to lie in the first place. Everyone wants me to be quiet right now because all the lying is supposed to stop? I’m supposed to be the scapegoat for this company and be the only one to receive all of the infamy for your unethical crap? That’s not going to happen.”

“What?” Yerin’s voice stutters a shocked response on impulse. Her fingers drag against the wood of the desk, evidently nervous by the implications. “You can’t mention anything about your job here, Y/N. That’s in the agreement.”

“Remove the non-disclosure clause.”

Yerin scoffs in pure disbelief, looking past you to Yoongi as he simply remains a spectator. Clearly unprepared for all that you’ve said thus far, but doing nothing to stop you from continuing. She shakes her head as her eyes come back to you. “I’m not doing that.”

“Then don’t. I’m still telling the press.” You say simply as a shoulder shrugs, and you loosely cross your arm.

“You’ll,” Yerin pauses when she realizes her heartbeats acceleration. “You’ll lose all your royalties. We’ll sue you.”

“Sue me then.” You nod your head once, completely unwavering as you just shrug again. “Really. I’ll just drag the suit out. Let you all show your true colors to the public and then we’ll see if you think it’s worth it to get involved in your fail-safe plan when everyone still realizes how much SoundWave has forced its employees to shut up and lie about.”

The brief wave of silence as you finish feels uplifting on your shoulders. Yerin only looks on at you with indication that she doesn’t know what to say to convince you otherwise. You don’t allow her to dwell, simply dropping your arms from their crossed position over your front.

“You made your choice.” You turn on your heel to start a path towards Yoongi, sparing a glance back towards Yerin as she calls out,

“You shouldn’t do this, Y/N! You’re trying to get back at me, but you’re just going to ruin everyone at this company-”

“I’m not trying to get back at you.” You turn to her as Yoongi opens up the door. “I’m not responsible for this anymore. This isn’t my fault. It was always your fault from the moment you made me sign that contract and never planned to change your ways.”

Without another word spoken you leave the room behind Yoongi, feeling absent of regret and restraint in your throat. As though lighter on your feet you exit the company and with it abandoning all of the fear it has instilled on you for years. No plan of avoidance lingers in your head to save face for the greed of SoundWave’s sake, and even though you’re still unsure of coming days, you don’t feel wrapped in deceit.

Upcoming seasonal winds will begin and you have no doubt the frail veil remaining on your image will drift away into the past as you walk into new days.

if you enjoy please, please let me know via ask, comment, rb with tags– however ! i’d just really appreciate feedback 🥺 i hope you enjoy the series, i’m working really hard on it! : )

tag list (send an ask to be added): @jaiuneamesolitaiire​ @tsvkino-usagi​@xionysus​​ @baebyjoonie​ @honeyoongles​ @betysotelo18​

[prorevenge]

I sent one video and watched a large store get crippled in the aftermath.

Story time.

I worked at a fairly large store that sells all sorts of stuff. If you need it they probably got it unless it was a highly specialized item. Anyway, for a year I worked at the store. 8 hours a day. Still part time with one week off. Somehow never promoted to full time. That was strike one for me. But I needed the money, and did not want to raise a stink, so I kept on going.

Most of what I did was check people out and do inventory and tidy up. Thats it. 8 hours a day. Except the last two where I straight up just tidied the department. Or get pulled into another. I would say 4 hours a day at most was actual work, and the rest was actually mindless.

Strike two. I wanted to be transferred to another department, one where I excelled at after I was put there temporarily after a coworker called in sick for a few days. That departments manager, Nick, liked me a lot. He was a cool dude. And a great manager. Busted ass making that department shine. And I wanted to be transferred there. For weeks I was putting in requests. They went nowhere. Both my manager, Tony, and Nick wanted me there. Or so I thought. I caught Nick during one of his walks through the store and asked why I wasn't transferred.

"Tony keeps denying it." I WAS PISSED. But didn't raise any hell and kept on going. We hired some new guys, one of whom is now a good friend. So it wasn't too bad. Nick was soon replaced by Mark, who was kind of a cockwad. And my dreams of transfer really died.

Strike three. For a few months before summer classes for university started, (before my immediate departure, as you will see why in a second) I submitted my summer schedule to HR repeatedly to make SURE it was put in. I was NOT going to miss class. Hard stop.

Two weeks before June 1st that summer (2017), Was the first day the classes started, and within two weeks of the anniversary when I was hired (pay rate increase. yay!) My schedule was shown to me. I was working during every single one of my classes. Tony never approved any of the requests. Oh hell no. This is where I got mad.

The petty-ish borderline prorevenge.

I submitted an emergency leave of absence due to university classes knowing HR would fully approve. They told me to call in every time I was scheduled and state the reason was the leave of absence while it was being approved. For a week, my manager had to take my shifts. Those ladies at HR had my back. They are among the few people I miss from the store.

It gets a little better, and NOT because of me.

HR filed it in error. And had me fill out another form, and add some stuff, to be absolutely sure it would be approved. BOOM. Another week of taking my shifts asshole.

I left that company and to my knowledge, I am still on leave. I have no intentions of going back.

The ProRevenge Nuke, what you are all here to see

So, my fellow coworkers had a chat where we "shot the shit" about all kinds of stuff and just talked. It was also a massive gossip and rumor mill.

I never really spoke besides blasting memes at them, and it never served a purpose. Long after I left the company, I kept in touch with one coworker from that chat, another friend. But not the one I mentioned earlier.

He sent me something privately. Something amazing. Something I never knew I wanted. Shit happens. But this was like walking up to Bill Gates and him giving you a billion dollars. I couldn't believe my fucking eyes and ears. I was overwhelmed with the urge to just... break shit.

A WHOLE DAMN COMPILATION OF VIDEOS OF MARK, TONY, AND ANOTHER ASSHOLE MANAGER, SARAH, FUCKING THEIR EMPLOYEES!

Mark and Tony made GREAT targets, with Tony being the main focus. Sarah was just collateral, but very much deserved it for a multitude of reasons, not that she slighted me, but others.

(Sidenote: Sarah was a manager who once told me that she didn't take maternity leave after she had a kid because the job was more important than her family, both husband and child. Yea. I know. She told me this right after I let my supporting coworker clock out and leave me alone with all of the work after his girlfriend was in a serious car accident. She ended up being fine and making a full recovery.) I weaponized this. I was salivating at the damage I was going to do. These 3 managers were all married. And it gets worse from there. I kept some email addresses from corporate after detailing and outlining some "policy and company issues" in my contacts. I long had forgotten them until now. They were all sent these videos with a burner email. I also shot a few out to other managers in the store that were competent and hard workers, and the head of the store. HR hot the email as well. All in all, about 15 people saw that email. Not only did I want to cause some havoc, but I also have a sense of decency and want people to be held accountable for their actions. Also, infidelity REALLY PISSES ME OFF!

The aftermath was amazing. And it was just dominoes falling. One after another.

All managers involved were immediately terminated. No severance either. Major breach of contract and policy and whatnot. And it made a scene. Coworkers I never really talked to reached out to me and told me the news. But it remained inside the store and really didn't make any waves outside of the store. Within a day, the store went down half of its department managers and began to BURN. Metaphorically of course. The rest transferred out of that store within the coming months. I recognize no one in that store now, aside from the head of the store. And he is in hot water now too. What came next was relayed to me via the confidant and friend who sent me that nuke.

But Mary, one of the associates who was fucking Mark (and Tony), decided that she was in love with Mark, and was hoping that he would leave his wife for her, and was surprise surprise pissed off when he wouldn't. She angrily sent his wife the videos (no idea where she got them). Mark's wife was devastated, but furious, and came unhinged. Mark's wife then sent the videos to Tony's wife and Sarah's husband.

Three fucking terminations, and three quick and bloody divorces, with the managers being left with damn near nothing. Careers destroyed, money gone, and their families destroyed.

I do genuinely feel bad for the kids and the spouses. I really really do.

But the managers got what they deserved. By rights, I never thought of doing this, nor ever felt the need cause so much havoc. But that nuclear football fell right into my lap and I was overwhelmed...

And I let those missiles fly!

TL;DR: Store managers slighted me a few times, someone sent me a video of them fucking employees. Sent the video to like.... 15 people, and watched all hell break loose.

(source) story by (/u/asmallman)

[fuck-customers]

Life at the Ko of Shops

Warning that this may run long and may have a few triggers for emotional abuse.

I worked 14 years at the Ko of Shops. I had the job of receiving and was excellent at it. My record keeping and knowledge was immaculate and I was the equivalent of a receiving manager without actually being considered a manager---which allowed many managers to take things out on me and refuse to listen to me and what I said often. 

I had to look for a new job recently as our company has entered liquidation and bankruptcy at the end of last year and beginning of this year. It's not so much the fault of the store or the company per se---I'm going to blame it on something we'll refer to as the Captials of the Sun. They bought us in 2005 with the intention of us ending up here all along. As it was a leveraged buy out, we were forced to put up everything for collateral. To make matters worse they put us in the hole further by selling our land and buildings. It turned us into renters. The Ko of Shops suddenly found itself in the hole to the tune of $1.2 BILLION dollars. Of course they kept this from us lowly store workers. None of this came out until the house of cards collapsed. On top of all that, the Capitals of the Sun took out dividends to the tune of $179.5 million rather than paying the Ko of Shops bills. We're not the only company the Capitals of the Sun has done this to. We're number 5 in TWO YEARS. They own 360+ other companies and they will keep doing this to them. 

In the wake of this, it makes me look back in anger. Throughout my whole time there, it took me TEN YEARS to earn a dollar more an hour in pay than when I started. TEN YEARS. We had several years where we were told there would be "no merit increases" because the company couldn't afford it. IF we did get a raise, it would be (and I wish to God I was kidding) TWO CENTS more an hour to FIFTEEN CENTS more an hour. They were far too busy paying the Captials of the Sun than actually valuing our hard work and dedication that allowed them to rip money out for the shadowy investors to buy yachts or private islands or whatever it is greedy rich people buy. It infuriates me that we spent all this time being woefully underpaid and unappreciated simply so the Capitals of the Sun could rake it all in.

That being said, that isn't what this submission is really about. It's about the nonsense and emotional scarring I faced during the last eight years or so especially of this job. It never mattered to them how competent I was or how many times I saved the store's ass when corporate or the regional loss prevention came to investigate. I constantly faced being lectured by my direct manager---I called it being "little roomed" because he would drag me into my office and "mentor" me until I was in tears. I can't count how many times this happened. I will humbly admit that a few times were my fault and I asked for it by my stressed out reaction behaviors at times, but most of the time it was not my fault and I would be taken into the room to have another talking to. If it wasn't him, it was the store manager refusing to listen to me when I told him something or how to do something or why I was doing something a certain way. Rather than just listen to what I was saying about MY area, he would routinely talk over me. Two weeks before I quit, he actually had the gall to tell me, and I quote, "You know your job---for the most part." Really? He has NO idea how to do my job at all and never tried to know. It was beneath him to know. And if it wasn't him, the other manager in the store would routinely poach me and shove me into his area to do his crap---but only recently as the first manager in this had left and wasn't yanking me away from my detail heavy area to "help the rest of the store because everyone thinks you're not doing enough." This last manager also had the gall to tell me that I have to simply accept either vendors or customers yelling at me rather than trying to help me deal with them. Essentially, that tells me that in his view my job was to take abuse from all comers as a matter of course. That's despite them telling us as a team repeatedly to call a manager if someone treated them like crap. 

A year ago one of my coworkers contracted cancer and died. She was the only other person in the store that knew anything about my job at all. When she fell ill, management did not find someone else to train as backup. It was NOT my responsibility or call to name that person. It clearly stated that in the description for that backup person---to be named and trained by management. Nope. No one was picked. I had three weeks of vacation to use. I ate it all---well almost all. I took one weekend off to attend a function before she got sick. After that, I trembled at the thought of fighting for my vacation and the battle that would break out. If I asked for time off, I would be lectured about the fact there's no one to cover for me. So, I just didn't fight. It might not have been a wise decision, but at the time I just didn't want to be lectured or "mentored" or told why they couldn't have someone and how other areas of the store are either more important or as taxed in staffing. So I worked almost a whole year without any time off. I don't blame the coworker we lost. I blame management for NOT doing their damn job to help alleviate the issue her absence created. I also don't regret pushing for and organizing a team to celebrate her life and find a cure for cancer for a local charity drive. 

I can't tell you how many times I've gone home in tears and in total frustrated stress. I can't tell you how many times I ended up with a huge pit in my stomach and dreaded going to work every day.. Part of my story is my own fault---I stayed way too long and didn't try to get out because I needed a job. I live in a rural area so this was really the only option I could see to make sure I paid bills, etc. It was the devil I knew and I didn't want to have to start over or find something else or risk worse---being fired and not having a back up ready. So I put up with it for years.

We're not even talking about the normal retail BS. Black Friday turned into marathon shifts without being asked or consulted. I would be forced in on Saturdays after working all week already for that week. I would be put in charge of the carryouts through the door only to be told I was being lazy and not doing enough to help the store---despite freezing or being overwhelmed. Often, I was expected to do three jobs all at once and if I ever expressed any frustrations in any way---reasonably or otherwise---I would end up in the "little room." Its unreal to know that I spent so long in a store that didn't bother to care about me or my coworkers. 

The only reason I stayed that long beyond the need to pay bills was my other coworkers. They were in it with me and knew---well for the most part---how bad I had it and how bad they were treated as well. They got it. We would all vent when possible---just so we wouldn't go crazy. I will miss them the most. I worked with a couple for the entire duration of my stay. One is a character of a man that made the job at least bearable with his antics and personality. Others came later and we became close friends that supported one another through thick and thin. I plan on staying in touch with all of them now that I have officially quit. 

I actually have a happy ending. I quit because I have a new full time job starting immediately. It may actually pay me a full dollar more an hour before too long, which in the scheme of things isn't a whole lot in comparison to the money the big cheeses of the Ko of Shops will get in their parachute or the Captials of Sun will rob before the curtain finally totally drops, but if it is enough for me to pay my bills, help my family, and go to graduate school online, then it's better than anything ever. I look forward to working for something meaningful and helping my community through it. I'm scared to death of this change and yet I am excited, too. 

For all of you still trapped in retail or other service work, you can get out. Do something. Find your path. Take my story as a lesson. Don't just stay and put up with it. These companies don't care about you or you families. They just want to steal as much money as they can destroy the livelihoods you rely upon. Do something else. You can get out.

I did. 

[migleefulmoments]

More Crissmyglitz Wedding Guest Angst: part 2

OMG they won’t let it go. Crissmyglitz-Guest Gate. The ccers are still obsessing over the #CrissMyGlitz guest list. As I pointed out in my first post (X), every single photo posted in round one of Crissmyglitz-Guest Gate was taken while Darren was working. That’s right, every single photo the tinhatters presented as “Darren and a real friend” was taken at work. For a fandom who constantly remind the world they are astute and ALWAYS PAYING ATTENTION TO DETAILS, it was a supermassiveblackhole.  

In part 1 they presented Elvis (X), Alan Cummings (X),  Jenna Ushkowitz (X), Laura Osnes (X). In part 2 they added Jane Lynch, Matt Bomer, Matt Morrison, Kevin McHale, Lena Hall, Ricky Martin and Edgar Ramirez.  Idk what was worse, that they didn’t learn any lessons after part 1 or that the fandom egged them on in utter delight.

cc-still-going-strong

Keep on.

I love your guys’ game 🤣🤣🤣 

chrisdarebashfulsmiles

I like this game  

(This got SUPER RIDICULOUS LONG so under) 

This is the LAMEST shade ever thrown and they were eating it up. Abby spent her Sunday adding to the nonsense and trying out sarcasm. She brought up the algorithm nonsense again and I can’t stop shaking my head.  The fact that it’s easier for them to believe that someone wrote an algorithm to determine the guest list for Darren and Mia’s wedding rather than simply to acknowledge that they don’t really know Darren at all is absurd. Rational people would see Darren’s guest list and realize that they got it all wrong.  Rationale people don’t see wedding photos and spend 7+ months proclaiming it’s all fake because he clearly is much better friends with former coworkers, Edgar Ramirez and Lena Hall than he is with Jennifer Coolidge and Pamela Aldon based entirely on the fact that nobody posted social media pics with Jennifer or Pamela. 

Mysterious absence part 2- Let’s do this…

1. LENA HALL

(see part 3 (X) for further information)

ajw720

(Opening Hedwig LA 11/16 from Lena’s IG)

(From Lena’s Twitter and Instagram July 28, 2016 (X). They were Flying to perform at DNC see pic below) 

(AGAIN- same night as #1-Hedwig’s opening night LA 11/16)

(Dec 12, 2016-I don’t know the context of this one. It is obviously her photoshoot and he popped in for a pic.  See below: another pic from this photoshoot posted to her IG. This is actually a nonword photo)  

ajw720:guess the algorithm eliminated her for joking weekly that DC had all the privileges of homosexuality but none of the responsibilities…… 

(Oh ho ho ho...the shade of it all).

chrisdarebashfulsmiles: Probably.

ajw720: Or perhaps it eliminated her as when D was kissing her on stage, he was giving his PBB the finger?  Remember that time 

(No, actually I don’t because that is nonsense. Darren flipped someone off from stage? Right because that is such professional. You believe that perfect, well-mannered Darren Criss would flip off his fiancee while working? That’s very inappropriate behavior during working hours, especially in front of a big audience of people- each with a cellphone. It’s also very risky to flip off the woman he is engaged to- the cc secret might get out.  If Darren is terrified to come out and terrified to breach THE Contract, why would he risk if all just give Mia the bird? Giving someone the bird is hardly a satisfying diss for anyone over the age of 12).

flowersintheattic254: Maybe the algorithm excludes those who like way too many posts on that had Ch/ris in them? 

(OMG- Lena “liked” some pics of Chris....a pig just flew by my window. It’s almost like Hollywood is a small town and people know each other. 

(No dates so it’s impossible to know what the context of the posts but that is typical of the tinhatting- they aren’t concerned with accuracies)

leka-1998: When the difference in chemistry is undeniable even in pics that show nothing but hands, that’s probably an issue. 

(I have never in my 51 years heard someone claim a married couple had no chemistry as evidenced by their hands in a photo taken specifically to show off their nail polish or that a PR photo for a Broadway show showed more chemistry than the actual couple. I mean seriously?)

(I will give this one to them as as personal photo )

(Is “hand chemistry” a thing? I’m only speculating here but is the degree of hand chemistry a function of the depth finger-penetration-on-finger-penetration?  Cuz.....that would make total sense amiright?)

cc-still-going-strong: Keep on.

I love your guys’ game 🤣🤣🤣 

(Blergh) 

ajw720: Seriously is that his wife on the left…..oh 

(hahahah nice try Abby, you have every single photo of Mia memorized- its actually a very sweet photo) 

(I can’t with this entire post. She wasn’t invited because he kissed Lena on stage as per the script? Oh wait- no- she was not invited because he kissed Lena on stage and he flipped off Mia (how they know he is flipping off Mia is anyone’s guess. I like to imagine he is flipping off the tinhatters). But wait- is he actually flipping off anyone? No, no he actually isn’t because that would be terribly unprofessional. Darren is at work and his bosses would not appreciate him flipping off anyone the audience. No actor who wants a career is going to  flip off someone in the audience while just-fingers crossed- hoping the message is received by the intended person and not a critic or investor.). 

(Work Pic. He is NOT giving anyone the finger- his finger is actually just in the shadow from Lena’s outfit). 

(Lena is working: As for Mia banning Lena from the wedding- in a recent post by Lena,  she talks about catching up aka they don’t haven’t spent much time together lately and notice the Mia hashtag) 

(The tinhatters like that she alls Darren wifey but in fact she calls all the Hedwig’s “Wifey”. She has a lot of Hedwig photos on her social media- the vast marority are NPH).

(Lena’s Christmas photoshoot as mentioned above)  

(I probably should have led with this but I wanted to prove them wrong in all the ways possible  Lena was busy on February 16, 2019 performing at Lincoln Center. She may have very well been invited. See my update (X) 

2. EDGAR RAMIREZ

 leka-1998: Yet another person missing on February 16

(PR for ACS: A photoshoot for promotion aka PR) 

(I am not sure about this pic. Darren posted it on his Instagram and Edgar responded  “love you brother”- that’s sweet and all but what does it prove- nada. I am sure they really had a great time together filming ACS and felt close, but they haven’t maintained that relationship-at least not publicly -since they end of awards season. I’ll give the tinhatters half a point for this one- but  bear in mind- I’m being generous because it looks like a PR pic) 

(PR for ACS; ”GQ Style & Hugo Boss Celebrate Amazing Spaces”- see photo below). 

(PR for ACS Emmy: This is from the 2018 Emmy “For Your Consideration” on 3/19/18.)

(PR for ACS. This is hilarious....so Edgar is doing a red carpet interview and Darren walks by him and Edgar walks away with Darren. OKAAAYYY-what does this prove? Again, they are at a work event- so far all the pics with Edgar are from work events except maybe 1) 

(PR for ACS- photoshoot. While the sentiment is sweet, Edgar hashtagged it #ACS and #Emmys. OMG how much ccproof do you need to understand that this is PR? ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION? Me think not cuz he freakin’ tagged it for you and you still don’t understand that it was promotion for the Emmy. He-lar-E-ous!)   

chrisdarebashfulsmiles: I like this game 

(of course you do- it’s catty, bitchy and pointless.  I’m glad it makes you happy because this has been eye-opening as to the extend that you are collectively super bad at separating Darren’s personal life from his work life) 

ajw720: @leka-1998​ this friendship seems very contrived to me, constantly calling each other brother, they aren’t nearly as close as say D and J/ennifer C/oolidge or B/en F/eldman or P/amela A/ldon…………… 

(Ohhh ho ho ho sooo funny. It’s so funny I forgot to laugh...har har har aha  Since Jennifer, Ben and Pamela actually got invites to the wedding, it is clear that they are indeed close to Darren or Mia, soooo the joke doesn’t actually work. As for Edgar being his closest friend because he called him “brother” during a big ACS promotion push-I’m not feeling it.  What is so baffling to this “stupid stan” is how the tinhaters CAN’T SEE the details right in front of their faces.  The Darren-Edgar love-fest was hot and heavy during the promotion of ACS and then it stopped all together...THAT is the definition of PR. I am sure they actually did like each other during the production of ACS, but when the project ended they both moved on to other projects and other friends. I’ve had coworkers -and I’m sure many of you have too-that I adored and I never wanted lose the connection we shared while working together but alas, the romance fizzled after we no longer had the workplace in common. Obsessing about the meaning of the almost-2-year-old photo of 2 strangers is pretty silly)

ajw720: The Algorithm is a very scientific way to figure out the wedding guest list-no doubt it knows who D is closest to and would not lie….. 

(The problem is simple- there are no social-media pics of Darren (or Mia) with Jennifer, Ben, or Pamela which means, according to the cc-logic that it didn’t happen-aka they aren’t friends. In order to explain why the trio were in fact, at the wedding, the THE Algorithm was created. This Algorithm is a very scientific way to figure out the wedding-guest list-no doubt it knows who D is closest to and would not lie. The cc posse hate it when they don’t know what is going on Darren’s life which is why we are talking about a fake “CrissMyGlitz Invitation” algorithm 7 months after the wedding).   

ajw720: @chrisdarebashfulsmiles It is seriously my new favorite game and there are so many people that the algorithm eliminated.

(Seriously? There are what- 2 or 3 photos that aren’t definitively traced to work This game isn’t working out the way the posse believes it is. This is however, THE definition of confirmation bias clouding their judgment).  

3. KEVIN MCHALE

ajw720:Poor KM didn’t make the cut either. Perhaps his invite was eliminated by the weird algorithm for tagging d at his 30th right below c, yet d not pictured? He clearly considers d a good friend as he invited him to the party.

(Did Kevin suggest he was devastated to miss the destination wedding of his former coworker? Kevin and Darren went out with their former-Glee castmates maybe once or twice in the last four years- they are hardly besties. I don’t remember Kevin and Darren as being particularly close while Glee was in production. They are literally former coworkers.)

(Kevin inviting Darren to his birthday party doesn’t indicate that he “clearly   considers d a good friend”. It seems like I remember the party was a surprise party?) 

ajw720: Thankfully I think they’ve made up as d had no problem straddling him recently.

(OMG seriously? They are former coworkers in which some level of friendship exists. Darren straddled his leg while sitting on a very crowded seat- he wasn’t riding Kevin while they had sex in public.)

(ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION? Darren invited the Glee peeps that he has consistently been close to over the years - Max, Harry and Chord).

ajw720: So many mysteries. But hey D&M’s new straight couple besties, Al/len & his wife, made the cut!

(Nope, no mysteries at all. Darren simply cared more about inviting people that mean something to him and Mia rather than those who mean something to the tinhatters.)

flowersintheattic254:  @ajw720 I expect old habits die hard with K and D. They were always flirty and fun. Maybe Mr and Mrs Le/ech are stricter regarding lap sittering. That’s probably why (nods head).

(nods head and wonders if tinters were drinking early on Sunday because this thread is petty, dumb and not at all funny or clever.) 

ajw720: @flowersintheattic254​ they are WAY too comfortable together, way more chemistry than D has with his bride.  I’m thinking that was the algorithm’s issue.

(Comfortable? Chemistry? WTF, he looks like he is passing a kidney stone and Kevin is coaching him through it.) 

flowersintheattic254: @ajw720 especially when you consider that the only similar pose with M has D holding his own arm to his chest. No chemistry at all!!!!

(Do you guys actually believe the nonsense you write or did you give up on 2/16/19 and you're just blowing smoke up each other’s ass now because I gotta tell you, the second-hand embarrassment is really uncomfortable now)   

 flowersintheattic254:It’s the pic on the boat with the fam. Can someone add it as I cannot find it?

leka-1998

ajw720: Not even close, if i didn’t know, i would say KM&DC were the couple and i t think the algorithm knew.  It is magical how that algorithm works.

(Ooooh right...it’s so confusing, I can totally understand your befuddlement!) 

(In all seriousness, watching this fandom’s toxic nonsense is like watching Kellyanne Conway and Lindsey Graham defend Trump’s baloney.  Everyone knows they are full of shit but we are powerless to stop it. The damage they are doing will take years to repair- if not decades)   

(Oh....Will you look at that. That is a screenshot taken from a video that is actually cute and shows a smitten Darren cuddling with Mia. Color. Me.SHOOK) .  

4. MATT MORRISON

standingoutsidethefire: I thought of another ..

That the algorithm just didn’t seem to include ...

standingoutsidethefire: Clearly these two don’t have any affection for each other

standingoutsidethefire: Not friends at all

standingoutsidethefire: I get why MM wasn’t included ..I really do 

(Maybe a personal- photo though likely at an show or industry event)

ajw720: Hate each other

(Once again, almost all -if not all - work pics)

5. MATT BOMER

leka-1998: “He’s just a really, really good, grounded person, and I think someone who I’ll probably always be friends with.”

- M/att B/omer

(Holy shit, Matt said something nice about Darren when asked about him by during an interview... no doubt when they worked together either on Glee or ACS) 

(According to Bride’s Magazine, “How to Make Your Wedding Day About YOUl” June 2017. 

5. The guest list is one of the most difficult decisions. Should you invite your mom’s work associate? Great Aunt Gertrude whom neither of you have met? Everyone from the gym? Communicate communicate communicate. One piece of tried-and-true advice is ALWAYS invite the person who said nice about you to the national media. You won’t regret it and most likely that person will give you the best gift).  

(Work event) 

(Work event)

(Wait -isn’t this Blaine and Cooper?)

(Work event)

Leka-1998: But the great algorithm said no.

ajw720: My understanding is they despise each other, cannot stand to be in the same room together. 

(Nobody ever suggested that).

ajw720: #funny #so many of the univited #queer

(seriously “#queer”? No, not cool)

flowersintheattic254

True they have clearly and from the beginning disliked each other intensely.

ajw720: But see @leka-1998​ there is D calling him handsome, we don’t want to have anything that even hints at d talking about a boy in that manner at the sham mockery, i mean nuptials……………….  Because D is the STRAIGHTEST MAN ALIVE!!!!!

(OMG,,the sarcasm isn’t working).

[toasttz]

From the Tabletop X

Shit yeah! I'm totally alive! It's not that our games stopped or anything (though our D&D GM was ready to throw it all at the wall, he has decided to soldier on). Just that I've gotten wrapped up in other things. Like, uh, GM'ing! Yeah, remember, like, a year ago when I started this series and mentioned I really like Shadowrun? We kicked off a Shadowrun 5e game! So, today's special 10th-ennial extravaganza will be Shadowrun talk time, or me at the opposite side of the table. To begin, our players' runners: Troppo - an Australian who ventured to Seattle in search of work once a military injury (several lost fingers) had him on a medical discharge. His role in the party is infiltrator. Which gives him license to trivialize otherwise-challenging moments in my campaign by stealth-killing all the enemies I made for them. Later ends up dating a Johnson after a particular run. Still active as of this writing. Then there's Big Iron - our street sammy. An ex-cop who was put on indefinite administrative leave when she became known as Knight Errant's personal walking PR disaster - effectively the sixth world's version of the Demolition Man. However, as part of the conditions of this arrangement, she had to be on-call when KE needed her for anything. She became a runner to make ends meet and kind of became the Team Mom. And lastly is Clockwork. Clockwork is a decker who runs hot or cold - either hyper-compotent and hacking the planet, or getting thwarted by an OSHA-compliant stairwell (not joking about this) with no inbetweens. Rare flashes of brilliance illuminated the short and underwhelming career of a runner who, as of the most recent update, was sent to the hospital because his overweight girlfriend sat on his face. As the GM, I refuse to issue apologies or excuses. Mostly because, God damn man, you could've done SO MUCH BETTER! Oh yeah, I realize there is a canon runner named Clockwork. Well, we didn't know that going into it, so he got to fly under the radar on that. If he had actually hung in there, I planned on having the canon Clockwork troll him at some point. So, to start, we're all new and Sixth World is out of reach at the time (and debuting late at our local shops), so I decide to pitch the classic: a Stuffer Shack run. Seattle, 2080, early nostril-freezing early January. Big Iron goes into said Stuffer Shack, getting herself some snacks and condoms (in order not to look "lame"). The boy at the counter sleepily rings her up, just in time for Troppo - Spider-Manning his way up to a rooftop in order to eye a gang of elves acting shifty outside the store. This leads to the first glitch of the game - the elves glitch in their attempt to notice Spider-Troppo. Elf 3: Whoa! Look! That pigeon is fat! Elf 4: Who cares?! Focus! Troppo: Troppo sits in silence to watch these crazy elves, taking only minor offense at being called a fat pigeon. One of the elves goes around the side to start hacking the security (which isn't exactly top-notch), and the other three enter and declare themselves the "Daggerbacks" - an elven supremacy movement looking to expand the glorious empire of Tir Tangaire (and sucking at it). Big Iron attempted to take the high road and offered them a chance to reconsider this terrible decision, but they scoff at the offer and a shootout ensues. This goes poorly for the elves (and would've gone worse for them, had I properly read about how this system handles damage! Shadowrun is a ruthlessly kill-y system!) as Big Iron sends the three scattering, one diving for cover, one wounded who slumps into a wall, and the leader with a baseball-sized hole in his torso, blown backwards into the store's front door. He is then grabbed by a colossal, Troll hand, which firmly affixes to his head, causing him to drop his firearm in defeat. The owner of the hand is Oscar, a former coworker of Big Iron who "just so happened to be in the neighborhood" at the time and lent a hand in arresting them. Oh yeah, and Clockwork traced their network activity and arrived at the scene in the nick of too late. Troppo ultimately intimidated their decker into absolute surrender, lifting a coupon for "SUSHI RAINBOW - NOW WITH REAL FISH!" and his deck off him in the process, causing him to flee - claiming to never really care about the Tir - without deck but with soiled pants. The firefight inside dies down not long after. Cashier: You shot it, you bought it! Big Iron: Now's not the time! By sheer coincidence, the other elves had SUSHI RAINBOW coupons on them as well - my subtle shove towards a meet-up place. Big Iron and Troppo meet en route, having established they did work together in the past. Before long, we were all together, meeting at SUSHI RAINBOW, its owners being Japanese immigrants, Yoshi and Rinko Watanabe and their gyaru daughter, Honoka. Since we were playing with few players than normally constitutes a full runner team, I made a few NPCs to help fill any niches that needed addressing. Honoka was a technomancer and had skills like auto mechanic and gunsmith. And, due to an amusing typo (AKA: Clockwork's persistent illiteracy), a new team of runners was born: "Hey, guys! Someone's biting my runner handle!" complained Friend Octopus. "You really need to change it, dude," Observed Radical Larry. "You're one to talk," sighed Sexy Penguin. "All of you, shut up and focus. This bomb isn't gonna defuse itself and if it goes off, we'll lose the entire shipment of irridium discs!" scolds their leader, Disco Panda. Anyways, back in Seattle, we learn Yoshi and Rinko are retired runners who still have contacts throughout the city. Rinko agrees to bring the runners on on a regular basis, provided they assist with a little issue that's been plaguing them for a while: The Silver Knives. A gang of over-the-hill mostly-mages, who are going around and harassing people as of late in the area. I learned many of the foibles of GMs that day. On account the first leg of the run (a shoot-up down a narrow corridor/alleyway) was trivialized by Troppo Spider-Troppo'ing down on them and assassinating them. For reference, I use the dice that came in the Sixth World Beginner's Box - cuz they're super cool - and these geezers were glitching left and right. So, having made complete work of that, the runners got to the main event - a raid on their warehouse compound (where they would be paid for each of the gang necklaces of each head they popped) and were assigned an NPC shaman, Fallen Snow, an Amerindian Shaman who had a... very special master spirit. I used Shark from the core book as the basis and... well... Go to Youtube, and search for "Lumpy Touch Movie Sonic". Once again, as GM, I never make apologies. Except in one run. But that was only half my fault. Fucking stairs, man. Not even once. Well, I underestimated them again and, though the gangers had a numbers advantage, Troppo and Fallen Snow were stealth/assassin builds and Clockwork was given the rival in the form of the 1337 H@X0R, an elderly, experienced hacker who was learning computers before the previous Great Crash, well up to 2080. Fallen Snow then reveals her spirit as Wendigo (full name: Wendigo of the North), who proceeds to beat the hell out of and then subsequently eats the gangers as they go. Now, a small excerpt from our game: "Snow thrusts her arms out to the side as she glows dimly, as two disproportionately long, clawed hands extend up, then out, landing on the ground and pushes up a lumbering, terrifyingly large spirit. Its head is clad in a goat's skull, but its eyes still seem to bulge and protrude from the sockets, as if they are being squeezed. It has a massive set of jaws and ever-convulsing skin that paradoxically seems to hang limp off the spirit's frame. "HEY GUIYS!" the spirit announces itself in an echoing, unearthly voice, "I'm STARVIN' over here!" “Jesus fuck, Snow,” Troppo says under his breath, without taking his eyes off the sprawling enemies. "Wendigo. By our contract. Kill the Silver Knives. Oh, and don't swallow their necklaces. We need those," Snow demands. "Does that mean... WHAT I THINK IT MEANS?!" the spirit cackles. Snow sighs, rolls her eyes, and replies, "Yes. You may eat them. Don't belabor the point. We're in a hurry and outnumbered," “Jesus FUCK, Snow,” Troppo repeats, with greater emphasis this time. Clockwork gasps "Holy shit" Snow rests her eyes for a moment with a sigh. "When gangers killed my family... my magical 'spark' ignited. And I screamed for anything that would give me revenge. And I summoned a Spirit of Hunger," "OH BOY OH BOY, YOU GUYS! It's like a buffet line! Sure, the meat's tough and been under the heat lamp too long, but there's SO MUCH TO TRY!" Wendigo guffaws as his legs manifest and he rises to his full height. After Clockwork used his gun to off a guy in meatspace, Wendigo even pried, "Are you gonna eat that?!" with a sadistic laugh. Clockwork won (narrowly), just in time for the BOSS FIGHT to stomp in - a cybered-up ork with raw strength to spare. When he threw Wendigo across the warehouse, even Big Iron strongly considered the better part of valor. Boss: Well, well, well... I go out for one night on the town with the missus and I come back to find everyone in my branch has kicked their damn oxygen habit... Troppo: Well, to be fair, it's a bad habit to have. Everyone who has it eventually ends up dead. Boss: Too true. Too true. Especially in this day and age. So, you busted up my joint. Least I can do is tell you my call sign. Y'er, uh, runners, yeah? You got call signs, I wager. Mine, when I was a young man, was Wrecking Ball Big Iron: GET SOME, GRANDAD! (Proceeds to open fire wildly). Wrecking Ball: (Dodges, much to the team's horror). The old way it is, then. This was not a fight I had any intention of making easy on them. Hell, I was even going to give them the chance to use social combat to escape. But Big Iron cast the first stone and thus, the battle was underway. But with a bit of teamwork - and a review of how armor works in the game - they were able to beat him - and obtain a specially ranked insignia off his necklace with a color ranking - a green jewel. Rinko paid the team handsomely. The team then got the chance to go back to SUSHI RAINBOW and rest a while. Not long after, I assigned their next run - in what would come to be known as the COFFEE RUN. Join us there as we also DRAW DICKS ON MUSEUM WALLS! And meet a SUPERHERO TEAM! See you there!

[nyruratchet]

Notes 4 - The Morning After

“People. People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”

There are pills for straight couples to avoid pregnancy after a few moments of bliss, there are pills to help people stay safe from contracting HIV, there are pills to recorrect the chemical imbalance for people struggling with mental issues; there are pills for EVERYTHING, but no one has derived a magical pill to fix the pain one feels when forced to wake up the morning after valentine’s day alone.

Actually, this problem doesn’t just exist on Valentine’s day. But, seeing as how I’m perpetually single, I can attest to the fact that this day is the most painful (all other holidays come second). Just yesterday, someone asked a question, “yall fall in love with niggas y’all meet on apps??”

My response: Honestly, what are the other options? This is a legitimate question...

Him: Go meet someone in real life...apps aren’t real life! You don’t know that nigga til u see him. In real life, u see everything you as over and over on the app.

Me: You do (meet them), but those are the same guys on the apps. And no one gives you the time of day at bars, events, etc. So, ur stuck with friends of friends, coworkers (nope) and apps...really (WTF?)

Him: Idk who y’all meeting but niggs stay tryin to see wassup on the low when I’m out...especially the damn gym!

Now, I then had to check him and remind him that, just because YOU are so attractive and have thousands of followers that men just flock to you, THAT IS NOT the average gay man’s reality. Just recently a black man on Grindr says he doesn’t like black men. Only whites and latinos. Yep, this is the world I live in. So when you all think I’m crazy to think I’m not in someone’s league, please know there are factors in the chess game that I’m aware of that you have NO CLUE about. Being the darker brother in the gay community is not easy and constantly I am made to feel like I’m not worthy of inclusion in it. Being dark is not acceptable. Nor is being skinny. Nor is not having a BBC (which is all anyone seems to value from us). Nor is being open to love; I’ve been faulted way too many times for that tbh. Almost as many times as I’ve been skinny-shamed or considered fem. Guys in our community are looking more for TS girls than black men. Period. I see “girls” on Grindr far too much. THERE, I said what I said. Grindr’s way of dealing with this influx...ask me to list myself as a CIS man. NO THE FUCK I WILL NOT! I’m a man. These labels are too much. can’t meet men in bars or apps or work. So, let me know...HOW?

To lose my virginity I had to get on craigslist and whore myself out like a rentboy (no money involved) only to get this catfish older man to respond. I was 21 years old and saw this as my only chance before moving to NY. Guys throughout my life up until this point (as i wrote about in my last post) had been ignoring me. I was invisible in the world of gay sex. I might as well have been a eunuch or a monk. I was always the “friend”...still am. So, I took this less then adequate gentleman and let him penetrate me for the first time; give me my first kiss (yuck, it was awful); and teach me a few things. I thought, after this, I’ll never have to settle for less than I deserve...BOY was I wrong.

Back to the part about me being invisible for a moment. Throughout high school, people knew I was gay. I told a few guys and expressed interest and they paid me no attention. COME TO FIND OUT, my (at the time good) friend Jonathan, had slept with a quite a few of them. (Backstory, I fell for Jonathan, he spurned me too, we became great friends, he then transitioned into being a woman, and now we don’t really talk). So, When I found this out, I was devastated. TO THIS DAY, I will never understand why I was not enough. I was SOOOOO nice to these guys. Dustin used to get picked on in middle school, and I used to stand up for him. Nick was the most beautiful boy in the world in high school with a smile that could like up the darkest soul and I would always root for him, etc. But, I wasn’t who they wanted. I mean, You think I’m a good guy now, you should have known me back then. I was such a kind spirit. My soul is so dark now and I don’t think that will ever be rectified.

These next instances are the reasons I will never be untainted. THESE STORIES ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. If you don’t want to cry, feel sorry for me, or worry, stop reading now.

I have been abused mentally, physically, and emotionally. These stories are in sequential order.

When I was traveling once, I was drinking and felt like fulling one of my fantasies. I don’t remember why, but i know that I hadn’t been touched in a WHILE. And for a person who needs that, just a moment where someone can use you to “get off” is enough to make it through the night. One fantasy that is very popular in the gay community of being fucked by visitor who comes in the unlocked door and fucks you, then leaves after he finishes. No strings attached (NSA), photos presented beforehand (pics), usually some time of safeguards in place. I was new, and it was my fault. This guy sent me pictures on whatever app I was using, think it was Craigslist. He told me all his information, I told him where I was staying and said I’d be blindfolded, ready for him to fuck me when he walked in. As SOON as he walked in, I heard the door close and lock and I had a feeling something was wrong. He came up behind me, naked and grabbed my neck chokingly and SHOVED into me. And this guy’s body was WAY bigger than what he said. He was chub/stocky and nothing like what he had sent me. I tried to tell him to stop, that I didn’t want HIM. But clearly, he had done this before. And this was before catfishing was a THING. So, he wasn’t going to stop no matter how much I struggled. So, I resulted that this was a part of the “fantasy” that I had signed up for. I could NOT call this rape. I will never call that rape. Yes, someone lied to me, wouldn’t stop when I said so, but I was totally in the wrong here. I put myself in a situation to be taken advantage of by a stranger. That is one of the things that makes this fantasy so hot. Just happens in my case, that it went terribly awry,  So, I went limp and let him finish. He left. I locked the door and took down the posting I had made. My throat was on fire and he had pulled my hair too hard. But he was gone and I was alone again. 

Another time in a hotel room, laying over in Washington, Dulles I was getting ready for bed. I was hungry, so put my iphone on the charger, grabbed my food and went for the microwave on another floor. When I came back, my phone was charged enough to check my facebook. As soon as I opened it up, on my timeline it says “PAUL IS IN A RELATIONSHIP”. I said, wait...what? My Paul? the one who I helped move? The one I got a xmas tree for? The one I held while crying? The one I protected from himself? The one whose bed I was JUST in? The guy I had been talking to like every day? My heart was beating out of my chest and I couldn’t breathe. Now, I’m not nor have I ever been naive. We weren’t a couple. He wan’t mine. But I wanted him, made it known. He said lots of things that didn’t add up to much. But, I was in his life, so I accepted that until he could give me more. But when I saw THAT status. I LOST it! Why? because he had told me WORD FOR WORD: “I don’t want a relationship right now. I have some little twink guy from this broadway show who likes me, but I’m not interested.” I always did status checks to make sure I didn’t get blindsided. But alas, here I was despite all my effors. My body went NUMB. Tears ran down my face. I dropped to my knees and asked God or whomever was in charge of things WHY the FUCK was it not me?? Am I not cute enough? Am I too poor? Not successful enough? What did I do? I immediately texted my friend Ant and told her what was up and that I was ready to end it. Before I knew it, I was on a 3 way call. What no one knows is, at one point I was bathroom, in the tub, with a razor, a full bottle of advil, a bottle of wine to hopefully make the blood run faster. I had never contemplated killing myself. This was a knee-jerk reaction to someone I loved with every fiber of my being choosing to give his love to someone else who didnt even have to try! If he could throw me away after I gave all I had and more that I didn’t even know I had in me, and he STILL didn’t want me, how is anyone else gonna love/choose me? So, I was ready to end it. Cuz I knew, this would not be the last time this would happen; guys don’t seem to care who they hurt or how. Paul texted me and said he didn’t owe me any explanation “dude”.  But my friends talked me down from that ledge I was prepping to jump off. I also was terrified of doing it. I didn’t know if it would even work. And I didnt want my family to go through that. Till this day, that is why I could never commit suicide. I do think about it, yes. My life sucks. And try as I may, I don’t see a reason for me being here. And yes, I’ve been to many therapists ever since college. Its not a problem that can be talked out. I suffer from depression that can only be assuaged by fixing the problem; the problem is my life. (love, money, music). So, I just try to keep on. I’m not bi-polar; although, sometimes I wish I were. That is a diagnosis that can be managed with medication. My life, cannot be managed. But I’m trying...I am trying.

Now, as I mentioned before, not a big fan of coworker dating/fucking/etc. HOWEVER, there are 2 people I have always said I’d try if I had the chance. Because they may be reading this (doubt it, but I will fight my petty urges), We’ll just call them Trip and Kurt. Now, Trip and I have been messaging off and on doing this whole cat and mouse thing for years. He winds up telling me he’s interested but we couldn’t tell anyone at work; which I agreed to. And would have tried to keep his confidence, FOR HIM. He is really against work relations as well. This all started with grindr and just escalated to us talking off and on. Finally one day, he texts ME and asks “Hey sexy, you in NY?” I wasn’t. Was working. But I never post my whereabouts on FBOOK so, the question was warranted. He said he really wanted to fuck. Our paths kept not being able to cross. So, LONG story short, I rearranged my schedule and we set up a “date” at his place when I got back. I was working a redeye. Told him I’d get home, run my errands take a quick nap and be over to make a full day of it. Trip agrees with everything. I do exactly what I say (I’m a Leo, it’s what we do. We’re consistent. We’re straight forward). I pick up a bottle of $20+ wine to show him I really give a shit and to be courteous because a good southern boy doesn’t arrive at someone’s house empty handed. I knew he had been done wrong and I wanted to put my first foot forward, even if it was just sex he wanted. I message him when I was on the way back home...no response. Ok, I wanna shower. Text him again...tells me he’s out. I say, “ok well just tell me when to head over. I’ll be at home” He says “ok sounds good baby.”  Ok, so I take my hour nap so I don’t miss his text. (For me, you KNOW that is no small feat!) I get up and he still hasn’t messaged me. So I wait...and wait...and wait for 5 hours. Then I text him “Ok...well, headed to bed I guess. Hope you had a good night. (he’s scheduled to work the next day so I KNOW no late fun was happening)  But beforehand, my spidey senses were tingling. So, I got on facebook. OH, he’s out living his best life! Fuck MY time right? Awesome. I had a drink then went to sleep. Next day, he messages me that he fell asleep after getting home. BOO, so...you left your friends (after you went out...yeah, I saw the check-ins), hopped a train, got home, and never NOT ONCE thought to text me to tell me a damn thing?! But you say “sorry” and I’m supposed to just accept that? No. I wanted you past the point of that barrier I placed up barring all guys I worked with. You just took a big dump on that AND made me feel shitty in the process. I took that bottle of white wine to the head by myself at some point btw...

Now Kurt, he’s special...I met him and was immediately entranced. To keep this one shorter, he also told me HE DIDNT WANT TO DATE ANYONE. Guys need to stop telling these motha fuckin lies!  Ok, so I’ll be your friend. But I really like him. So, I’m minding my own business and facebook again notifies me, Kurt is in a relationship. OH? with WHOM? Oh! someone we work with? Someone you met AFTER ME?! Interesting...now, when this boy confessed a secret to me, I was totally loving and told him my past experiences and that he’s and amazing person, etc. So, the next time we work together, I don’t mention his new BF. He brings it up and explains how and why he fell for him. WOULDNT YOU KNOW IT, the boyfriend said the same thing I did about his secret but just BEFORE he happened to conceal it. I tried so hard not to roll my eyes when he told me that. It was like a smack in the face. If you don’t think I’m cute, just say that. But don’t talk about how someone’s heart won you over. Cuz I was here loving on you before. I went back up to my room (tipsy) turned on some Aaliyah and cried myself to sleep. I am never gonna be enough for these boys/men. I saw that now. Paul had recently resurged and re-exited my life after telling me he loved me. I WAITED for that! He was the first man to ever say those words. And they were supposed to mean something! And shortly after...he ghosted me again. So, I’m feeling pretty worthless at this point.

No matter what I do, I’m never good enough. I keep trying to be the best me and there is always someone there saying, nah...this other dude is better. Swipe left. “Thank you, Next” (I don’t like Ariana Grande btw.) I have this fear that when I’m old, some guy I’ve loved forever will find me and say, I married someone else. He’s gone now, he did me wrong. We can be together now. Like I’m only going to be someone’s choice after their first choices have bit the dust. That is NOT okay with me. 

So, here I am on Valentine’s day trying to explain to all of you who have someone to “come home to”. EVEN if you don’t like Vday, do not pretend that this day doesn’t matter or make people feel a certain way. I’m alone AND I’m lonely. Don’t tell me I shouldn’t feel this unless you tell me how to not feel that way; and your explanation better not involve friends. Sorry, friends have their own issues and while checking in and venting is great, they can’t be your life support. They can’t help you take care of your heart. Especially if they are married, have kids, etc. You’re the single 3rd wheel. 

I tried to take myself to the movies. The movies I wanted were all sold out by couples. Dinner, tables full. So, I ate leftovers from yesterday’s dinner I cooked and am halfway through this bottle of wine. You cannot fault a person for wanting love. Finding it may have been somewhat easy/happenstance for you. And I try not to fault YOU for that. Everything has been hard for me. Literally, everything. That’s the only reason I’m still here. Because when something happens, I yell, scream, vent, handle it like Olivia Pope, then continue on. No one is there at night when i lay down. No one said Happy Valentine’s day to me today. No one is gonna smile at me when i wake up in the morning.  Nope, I have to survive my morning after by myself. No pill in hand to help.

“Children needing other children, yet letting our grown-up pride hide all the need inside...acting more like children, than children.”

[wineanddinosaur]

Anchor Union, One Year In: Lessons Learned at the Legendary Brewery

“Yes… yes… yes… yes…”

On Dec. 20, 2019, workers at Anchor Brewing Company, a venerable Bay Area icon that brewed its first beer for thirsty San Franciscans nearly four decades before the Golden Gate Bridge was built, gathered in the brewery to ratify their first-ever collective bargaining agreement. It was a union contract years in the making — the product of methodical organizing that began in 2018, followed by a contentious public drive and negotiations that spanned the entire 2019 calendar.

Now, it was up to the rest of the workforce — about 70 employees across the brewery’s production facilities, taproom, and tour guide corps — to sign off on the deal. A worker in white coveralls pulled ballots from a cardboard box jerry-rigged to purpose.

“Yes… yes… yes…”

All told, 94 percent of eligible Anchor workers voted in favor of the contract that day. The deal was done; Anchor Union had its first contract. It was a monumental moment for the American brewing industry, and particularly the craft beer business within it. After all, though Anchor had been acquired by the Japanese conglomerate Sapporo in 2017, it still holds a revered place in hagiographies of the American craft beer movement. That workers at Anchor had successfully organized a union, won their drive and election, and ratified a contract — and did it all without getting summarily laid off or unceremoniously abandoned for a cheaper labor market elsewhere — was a signal that it could be done in other craft-oriented businesses.

As one Anchor worker told me in the early stages of the 2019 drive: “Young working people will be able to see us and be like, ‘if these fucking drunk guys can do it, like anybody can.”

Can they? To be sure, in the year-plus since Anchor workers gathered in Potrero Hill to ink their inaugural deal, the craft food and beverage industries have seen a spate of organizing. Just a couple months later, in February 2020, 140 workers at San Francisco’s Tartine Bakery & Manufactory went public with their own union drive. As the pandemic took hold, organizing efforts popped up at craft food-service and -production shops across the continent: at Southern California’s Augie’s Coffee locations in June; in Colectivo Coffee’s Chicago locations in August; and at Vancouver’s Turning Point Brewery, owned by Labatt Brewing Company and better known for its Stanley Park brand, in October; and so on.

But while organized labor has made inroads this year with the baristas, distillers, and cheesemongers (et al) that produce the food and drink we love, it has stumbled on the path, too. For a showcase of labor organizing highs and lows in the craft F&B space, look no further than Minnesota’s Twin Cities.

Union drives at Minneapolis distilleries Tattersall (announced July 2020), and Stilheart and Lawless (September) yielded recognition from owners of those shops; as did the push at the city’s Fair State Brewing Cooperative that same month. But drives at Spyhouse Coffee Roasters and the Beer Hall at Surly Brewing Company (both organized with United HERE’s Local 17, which handled the other Twin Cities efforts mentioned here) came up short, victims of the turnover, apathy, and management pressure tactics that so often stop union campaigns in their tracks.

“I think I needed more knowledge,” lamented Taylor Roth, a former Spyhouse barista, speaking with me in November 2020, a few weeks after the drive at the twee chain had been defeated. “I knew what good the union would do, but I think if I had more specifics on what our jobs would look like after the vote, then maybe it would have been easier to talk to people about the benefits of the union.”

As Roth and other pro-union workers have discovered, that ambiguity can make it difficult to get buy-in from skeptical colleagues, most of whom have joined the workforce in a period of almost unmitigated decline in union density in America. In the hospitality sector, where language barriers, wage theft, and on-the-job harassment (from both customers and colleagues) have fostered a culture of transience, getting coworkers to see upside worth organizing for is especially challenging, with few positive examples to point to.

In December 2020, Anchor Brewing workers celebrated the one-year anniversary of their ratified contract. It’ll remain in force for another two, during which time they’ll begin bargaining for the one that’ll replace it. It’s an ideal moment for Anchor Union members to reflect on how the past year of unionized work went, strategize on what the future holds for organized labor at the storied San Francisco brewery, and evaluate what their union has done for them.

“I probably would be out of a job right now if we didn’t have our union contract,” Blake Dahlstrom, a brewery lab technician and one of Anchor Union’s four shop stewards, says. (Shop stewards are employees who have volunteered to represent the broader workforce to management when issues arise.)

VinePair asked Dahlstrom and her fellow stewards to share their experiences from Year One of Contract One, to learn what unions can — and just as importantly, can’t — do for the production and hospitality workers that produce consumable “craft culture” in this country.

Below are excerpted phone interviews with all four Anchor Union shop stewards. They have been edited, condensed, and organized thematically. Anchor Brewing Company did not respond to repeated requests for interviews with management to provide the company’s perspective for this piece.

1. What has your relationship with the company been like since ratifying the contract last December [2019]?

Blake Dahlstrom, lab technician, 2.5 years at Anchor: The company sees value in the unionization effort. Every single can and bottle that is being produced in 2021 says “Union-made in San Francisco.” Our job as shop stewards is to hold their feet to the fire. If they’re going to brag about the fact that they’re union-made, our job is to make sure that our workers are being treated [with as much care] as the marketing is.

At the end of the day, all I want is for workers to get compensated and treated fairly. I know it’s a hard balancing act on management’s part. … The people who are making decisions are not necessarily on the floor seeing what’s happening. So as shop stewards we have an opportunity to explain to them … that there are tangible solutions.

I’m proud of the fact that we have a positive working relationship with management. It’s not perfect, but it could be worse. But I’m not trying to sugarcoat it; I’m not trying to be friendly with management. I will bring out my fists when I need to bring out my fists. … It’s not there yet. We’re going down every single avenue we possibly can before we get to that option.

Alex Wilson, filtration worker, 5.5 years: As someone who has been at Anchor for a number of years and has seen the situations that led to the push to unionize, I thought that getting everyone voting in favor of the union, making it happen, and negotiating our contracts, was kind of going to be a clean break, and that moving forward, things would be different. Everyone would be able to express the issues we were facing as a workforce, and then we were going to move past that. So the fact that we’re not really past those issues at this point is surprising to me.

This upcoming year, it’s going to be really interesting to see where this relationship between management at Anchor and the union at Anchor goes. With Covid, everything got sidelined and crazy. It’s going to be really interesting to see how much our contract does for us this year.

2. Pay was an issue that you organized around at Anchor. How did you handle pay in the contract, and how has it played out since?

Patrick Machel, packager and bartender, 3 years: When we started [negotiating] the contract, we saw people getting paid really weird rates. So we were like, “Nah, we’re going to have something completely new, a tiered system.” The first tier is the entry tier, like packaging, tour guides, receptionists. … Second tier is a little more in-depth roles, like lab technicians, shift supervisors, specific machine operators. … Tier three is the lead brewers … and tier four is usually the warehouse [workers], like forklift drivers [and] maintenance workers.

There’s a minimum amount [of pay] that everybody in each tier is getting. That way, no one is getting less than that specific number. We wanted to make [pay] more uniform, because before there was no real way to show why [one worker was] getting paid this amount of money, compared to somebody right next to [them.]

Wilson: The raise structure in the contract is staggered, so we got part of our raise this year [2020], and part of it at the beginning of next year [2021]. Then it [will] continue to go up. So I think starting January, [average pay] will have gone up 20 to 25 percent [since the contract went into effect.]

[In a follow-up message, Machel provided more specific figures: The contract provides Anchor’s brewery workers with an across-the-board average raise of 21 percent over three years. For workers at the Public Taps, the bump is 28 percent.]

Robert Salgado, taproom supervisor, 3 years: In my position, I don’t receive tips. So I just get paid an hourly wage. Sometimes, that would be a little discouraging, watching [tipped employees] do less work and make more money. So for me it was more beneficial, because I got a pay raise. … I think it helped out a lot of my coworkers too, because a lot of them were making $15 to 16 an hour. [San Francisco’s minimum wage is $15.] Now they actually have a little bit more money in their pockets. I was making $22 [per hour, before the contract], and then it got raised to $23, and it will be ending at $25 by the end of the contract.

I think it helps. It’s on its way to being enough, With future contracts in the years to come, it will get to being enough. I can say [the pay increase] has made life easier, and more and more attainable.

3. What happened when the pandemic hit? Did the contract’s provisions have an affect on your day-to-day work at Anchor?

Machel: None of us would have a job, I’ll tell you that. We actually did layoffs, but way later [than many other companies in pandemic]. And we bargained with management over that, and actually [won] a pretty decent severance package for everybody [who’d been laid off]. Just having that kind of protection in there [allows us to say], “We’re not gonna back down, we’re gonna get our workers paid.”

Also, half of those people that [were] laid off are working there now because we have something called callback rights, where if you lose a job, and you’re in good standing, you have about two years to get back into that same position before they hire anybody else [if that worker wants to return]. So whenever things started opening back up again and more production was happening, they brought back people based on company seniority through those callback rights.

Dahlstrom: I probably would be out of a job right now if we didn’t have our union contract. It’s been a rough battle because, you know, nobody has a pandemic clause in their contracts. So we’ve had to roll with the punches, work with management, and push where we can push. Our No. 1 thing is we want to make sure our workers are safe, and that they don’t have an onerous workload.

I think the most fascinating news that can be reported is the fact that we had our first and only [pandemic-related] layoff in August: We laid off eight people, almost all of which have either been brought back, or have been offered to be brought back.

Wilson: I continued to work at reduced hours through most of the last number of months, and I recently returned to work full time. There are people who got laid off, for example, and for them, the union contract was a much, much bigger deal, because that situation was [governed] by the contract.

But I mean, there’s no question in my mind that having our contract has been a benefit in every way. There’s no drawback.

4. A typical critique of unions is that they’ll implement a layer of bureaucracy that will hamper innovation and communication. Have you seen that happen at Anchor?

Wilson: Management is now acknowledging that they are bound by the contract in certain ways so they can’t just do anything they want at any time. So in a sense that has improved communication. Now if there is something that’s not going the way it should be, [workers] have a venue to actually express that to management and expect to get a reply. Whereas before, you could complain, but that was gonna fall on deaf ears. That being said, I don’t think that communication has improved to the extent that I had expected that it would.

Having that third party [the ILWU] has only improved things. The company can say “that’s going to make it harder for us to get stuff done, we won’t be able to just come to agreement between the two sides because there’s going to have to be this extra barrier.” But if they were interested in fixing the problems that led to this situation they would have.

Dahlstrom: I think if you asked management, they would say [the union has hindered communication]. But I think the union has offered more solutions than problems for management. The reason why we unionized is because we had X amount of problems for X amount of years, and now with the union, we have a seat at the table. We meet with management every two weeks. There’s been a long-term disconnect between the fourth floor [management], and the first, second, and third floors [production]. That’s been an ongoing issue, and one of the reasons why we unionized. At the end of the day it’s all about communication. And that’s something that we’re fighting for every single day.

5. How much of the gains you’ve made this year do you attribute to your contract, as opposed to the company just being decent?

Machel: We were gearing up to actually open up the bar [when restrictions were lifted in San Francisco], and one of the questions I was bringing up to my manager was, “Are guys going to give us a little bit of backup if we get people that don’t want to wear masks and stuff like that?” She basically was like, “we would much rather our workplace be as strict as possible, so that nobody gets Covid and everybody’s safe, versus getting money from people.”

I want to say that [this] was out of the goodness of their hearts. But in my mind, the contract solidified that — [especially] because we also had a lot of vocal interactions with management. If I worked at another restaurant or another bar that wasn’t unionized, I highly doubt that they would [take those concerns seriously]. They’d be like, “Eh, this is how it is.”

Wilson: The “bureaucracy” that I’m involved in right now is trying to resolve an issue that, if we didn’t have this system in place, wouldn’t get resolved. So [the contract] is just an overall good thing from my perspective.

Salgado: Because we worked hard [on management], we were able to get hazard pay. Anchor wasn’t going to do that naturally, but because we were able to bring it up [to management through the union], we were able to get this because it was in our contract.

We still had to fight with them to get them to [re]hire people. They would try to have a skeleton crew do production on stuff that a normal crew [would be] doing. So because of that, we fought with them: “Look, you need to hire people back, we’re getting complaints from people who are getting way too much of a workload.”

It’s one of those things where they [might] have done it anyway, but we were able to bring it up several times, so they did it before it was too little, too late.

6. What would you tell workers at other craft breweries who are thinking about unionizing?

Dahlstrom: Open up your mind, and be imaginative. You can break the status quo, that’s what that’s what did it for me. If you imagine a world where you can solidify the benefits that you like from your job, whether it’s meal periods, shift beers, “safety doughnuts …” whatever you like about your job you can solidify, and whatever you don’t like you can bargain over and change.

Would you like healthcare? Would you like higher wages? Would you like paid holidays? I mean, when you’re bargaining, you’re gonna have to give up some of those things, but just imagine a world where you could potentially have some of these things.

Salgado: People need to believe in the power of the contract. Believe in the power. For those who believe in it, it does change. If people work hard and they talk to each other, you know, things will change. I think it does work for people who are willing to give a union a shot.

Wilson: It was an unfamiliar situation and we went for it. It’s a learning experience for everyone. But, I mean, frankly, we’re better off now than we were before. I think it was worth it, for sure.

Machel: For a lot of people, this is their first-ever experience with the union, and with this specific union [ILWU Local 6], it’s a little bit hands-off. … It’s mostly based on the workers figuring out what to do next. That can be scary, and it was scary for a lot of us. But we’ve learned through mistakes and victories, and we’re getting better and better at this. And it’s created an even more prideful place of work. It’s created relationships with [coworkers] that would have never happened before. If we have an issue, let’s bring it up. Now, we can actually say something. Instead of just coming to work at a dope company, we’re coming to work at a dope company at a union that we created ourselves.

The article Anchor Union, One Year In: Lessons Learned at the Legendary Brewery appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/anchor-brewing-company-union/

[johnboothus]

Anchor Union One Year In: Lessons Learned at the Legendary Brewery

“Yes… yes… yes… yes…”

On Dec. 20, 2019, workers at Anchor Brewing Company, a venerable Bay Area icon that brewed its first beer for thirsty San Franciscans nearly four decades before the Golden Gate Bridge was built, gathered in the brewery to ratify their first-ever collective bargaining agreement. It was a union contract years in the making — the product of methodical organizing that began in 2018, followed by a contentious public drive and negotiations that spanned the entire 2019 calendar.

Now, it was up to the rest of the workforce — about 70 employees across the brewery’s production facilities, taproom, and tour guide corps — to sign off on the deal. A worker in white coveralls pulled ballots from a cardboard box jerry-rigged to purpose.

“Yes… yes… yes…”

All told, 94 percent of eligible Anchor workers voted in favor of the contract that day. The deal was done; Anchor Union had its first contract. It was a monumental moment for the American brewing industry, and particularly the craft beer business within it. After all, though Anchor had been acquired by the Japanese conglomerate Sapporo in 2017, it still holds a revered place in hagiographies of the American craft beer movement. That workers at Anchor had successfully organized a union, won their drive and election, and ratified a contract — and did it all without getting summarily laid off or unceremoniously abandoned for a cheaper labor market elsewhere — was a signal that it could be done in other craft-oriented businesses.

As one Anchor worker told me in the early stages of the 2019 drive: “Young working people will be able to see us and be like, ‘if these fucking drunk guys can do it, like anybody can.”

Can they? To be sure, in the year-plus since Anchor workers gathered in Potrero Hill to ink their inaugural deal, the craft food and beverage industries have seen a spate of organizing. Just a couple months later, in February 2020, 140 workers at San Francisco’s Tartine Bakery & Manufactory went public with their own union drive. As the pandemic took hold, organizing efforts popped up at craft food-service and -production shops across the continent: at Southern California’s Augie’s Coffee locations in June; in Colectivo Coffee’s Chicago locations in August; and at Vancouver’s Turning Point Brewery, owned by Labatt Brewing Company and better known for its Stanley Park brand, in October; and so on.

But while organized labor has made inroads this year with the baristas, distillers, and cheesemongers (et al) that produce the food and drink we love, it has stumbled on the path, too. For a showcase of labor organizing highs and lows in the craft F&B space, look no further than Minnesota’s Twin Cities.

Union drives at Minneapolis distilleries Tattersall (announced July 2020), and Stilheart and Lawless (September) yielded recognition from owners of those shops; as did the push at the city’s Fair State Brewing Cooperative that same month. But drives at Spyhouse Coffee Roasters and the Beer Hall at Surly Brewing Company (both organized with United HERE’s Local 17, which handled the other Twin Cities efforts mentioned here) came up short, victims of the turnover, apathy, and management pressure tactics that so often stop union campaigns in their tracks.

“I think I needed more knowledge,” lamented Taylor Roth, a former Spyhouse barista, speaking with me in November 2020, a few weeks after the drive at the twee chain had been defeated. “I knew what good the union would do, but I think if I had more specifics on what our jobs would look like after the vote, then maybe it would have been easier to talk to people about the benefits of the union.”

As Roth and other pro-union workers have discovered, that ambiguity can make it difficult to get buy-in from skeptical colleagues, most of whom have joined the workforce in a period of almost unmitigated decline in union density in America. In the hospitality sector, where language barriers, wage theft, and on-the-job harassment (from both customers and colleagues) have fostered a culture of transience, getting coworkers to see upside worth organizing for is especially challenging, with few positive examples to point to.

In December 2020, Anchor Brewing workers celebrated the one-year anniversary of their ratified contract. It’ll remain in force for another two, during which time they’ll begin bargaining for the one that’ll replace it. It’s an ideal moment for Anchor Union members to reflect on how the past year of unionized work went, strategize on what the future holds for organized labor at the storied San Francisco brewery, and evaluate what their union has done for them.

“I probably would be out of a job right now if we didn’t have our union contract,” Blake Dahlstrom, a brewery lab technician and one of Anchor Union’s four shop stewards, says. (Shop stewards are employees who have volunteered to represent the broader workforce to management when issues arise.)

VinePair asked Dahlstrom and her fellow stewards to share their experiences from Year One of Contract One, to learn what unions can — and just as importantly, can’t — do for the production and hospitality workers that produce consumable “craft culture” in this country.

Below are excerpted phone interviews with all four Anchor Union shop stewards. They have been edited, condensed, and organized thematically. Anchor Brewing Company did not respond to repeated requests for interviews with management to provide the company’s perspective for this piece.

1. What has your relationship with the company been like since ratifying the contract last December [2019]?

Blake Dahlstrom, lab technician, 2.5 years at Anchor: The company sees value in the unionization effort. Every single can and bottle that is being produced in 2021 says “Union-made in San Francisco.” Our job as shop stewards is to hold their feet to the fire. If they’re going to brag about the fact that they’re union-made, our job is to make sure that our workers are being treated [with as much care] as the marketing is.

At the end of the day, all I want is for workers to get compensated and treated fairly. I know it’s a hard balancing act on management’s part. … The people who are making decisions are not necessarily on the floor seeing what’s happening. So as shop stewards we have an opportunity to explain to them … that there are tangible solutions.

I’m proud of the fact that we have a positive working relationship with management. It’s not perfect, but it could be worse. But I’m not trying to sugarcoat it; I’m not trying to be friendly with management. I will bring out my fists when I need to bring out my fists. … It’s not there yet. We’re going down every single avenue we possibly can before we get to that option.

Alex Wilson, filtration worker, 5.5 years: As someone who has been at Anchor for a number of years and has seen the situations that led to the push to unionize, I thought that getting everyone voting in favor of the union, making it happen, and negotiating our contracts, was kind of going to be a clean break, and that moving forward, things would be different. Everyone would be able to express the issues we were facing as a workforce, and then we were going to move past that. So the fact that we’re not really past those issues at this point is surprising to me.

This upcoming year, it’s going to be really interesting to see where this relationship between management at Anchor and the union at Anchor goes. With Covid, everything got sidelined and crazy. It’s going to be really interesting to see how much our contract does for us this year.

2. Pay was an issue that you organized around at Anchor. How did you handle pay in the contract, and how has it played out since?

Patrick Machel, packager and bartender, 3 years: When we started [negotiating] the contract, we saw people getting paid really weird rates. So we were like, “Nah, we’re going to have something completely new, a tiered system.” The first tier is the entry tier, like packaging, tour guides, receptionists. … Second tier is a little more in-depth roles, like lab technicians, shift supervisors, specific machine operators. … Tier three is the lead brewers … and tier four is usually the warehouse [workers], like forklift drivers [and] maintenance workers.

There’s a minimum amount [of pay] that everybody in each tier is getting. That way, no one is getting less than that specific number. We wanted to make [pay] more uniform, because before there was no real way to show why [one worker was] getting paid this amount of money, compared to somebody right next to [them.]

Wilson: The raise structure in the contract is staggered, so we got part of our raise this year [2020], and part of it at the beginning of next year [2021]. Then it [will] continue to go up. So I think starting January, [average pay] will have gone up 20 to 25 percent [since the contract went into effect.]

[In a follow-up message, Machel provided more specific figures: The contract provides Anchor’s brewery workers with an across-the-board average raise of 21 percent over three years. For workers at the Public Taps, the bump is 28 percent.]

Robert Salgado, taproom supervisor, 3 years: In my position, I don’t receive tips. So I just get paid an hourly wage. Sometimes, that would be a little discouraging, watching [tipped employees] do less work and make more money. So for me it was more beneficial, because I got a pay raise. … I think it helped out a lot of my coworkers too, because a lot of them were making $15 to 16 an hour. [San Francisco’s minimum wage is $15.] Now they actually have a little bit more money in their pockets. I was making $22 [per hour, before the contract], and then it got raised to $23, and it will be ending at $25 by the end of the contract.

I think it helps. It’s on its way to being enough, With future contracts in the years to come, it will get to being enough. I can say [the pay increase] has made life easier, and more and more attainable.

3. What happened when the pandemic hit? Did the contract’s provisions have an affect on your day-to-day work at Anchor?

Machel: None of us would have a job, I’ll tell you that. We actually did layoffs, but way later [than many other companies in pandemic]. And we bargained with management over that, and actually [won] a pretty decent severance package for everybody [who’d been laid off]. Just having that kind of protection in there [allows us to say], “We’re not gonna back down, we’re gonna get our workers paid.”

Also, half of those people that [were] laid off are working there now because we have something called callback rights, where if you lose a job, and you’re in good standing, you have about two years to get back into that same position before they hire anybody else [if that worker wants to return]. So whenever things started opening back up again and more production was happening, they brought back people based on company seniority through those callback rights.

Dahlstrom: I probably would be out of a job right now if we didn’t have our union contract. It’s been a rough battle because, you know, nobody has a pandemic clause in their contracts. So we’ve had to roll with the punches, work with management, and push where we can push. Our No. 1 thing is we want to make sure our workers are safe, and that they don’t have an onerous workload.

I think the most fascinating news that can be reported is the fact that we had our first and only [pandemic-related] layoff in August: We laid off eight people, almost all of which have either been brought back, or have been offered to be brought back.

Wilson: I continued to work at reduced hours through most of the last number of months, and I recently returned to work full time. There are people who got laid off, for example, and for them, the union contract was a much, much bigger deal, because that situation was [governed] by the contract.

But I mean, there’s no question in my mind that having our contract has been a benefit in every way. There’s no drawback.

4. A typical critique of unions is that they’ll implement a layer of bureaucracy that will hamper innovation and communication. Have you seen that happen at Anchor?

Wilson: Management is now acknowledging that they are bound by the contract in certain ways so they can’t just do anything they want at any time. So in a sense that has improved communication. Now if there is something that’s not going the way it should be, [workers] have a venue to actually express that to management and expect to get a reply. Whereas before, you could complain, but that was gonna fall on deaf ears. That being said, I don’t think that communication has improved to the extent that I had expected that it would.

Having that third party [the ILWU] has only improved things. The company can say “that’s going to make it harder for us to get stuff done, we won’t be able to just come to agreement between the two sides because there’s going to have to be this extra barrier.” But if they were interested in fixing the problems that led to this situation they would have.

Dahlstrom: I think if you asked management, they would say [the union has hindered communication]. But I think the union has offered more solutions than problems for management. The reason why we unionized is because we had X amount of problems for X amount of years, and now with the union, we have a seat at the table. We meet with management every two weeks. There’s been a long-term disconnect between the fourth floor [management], and the first, second, and third floors [production]. That’s been an ongoing issue, and one of the reasons why we unionized. At the end of the day it’s all about communication. And that’s something that we’re fighting for every single day.

5. How much of the gains you’ve made this year do you attribute to your contract, as opposed to the company just being decent?

Machel: We were gearing up to actually open up the bar [when restrictions were lifted in San Francisco], and one of the questions I was bringing up to my manager was, “Are guys going to give us a little bit of backup if we get people that don’t want to wear masks and stuff like that?” She basically was like, “we would much rather our workplace be as strict as possible, so that nobody gets Covid and everybody’s safe, versus getting money from people.”

I want to say that [this] was out of the goodness of their hearts. But in my mind, the contract solidified that — [especially] because we also had a lot of vocal interactions with management. If I worked at another restaurant or another bar that wasn’t unionized, I highly doubt that they would [take those concerns seriously]. They’d be like, “Eh, this is how it is.”

Wilson: The “bureaucracy” that I’m involved in right now is trying to resolve an issue that, if we didn’t have this system in place, wouldn’t get resolved. So [the contract] is just an overall good thing from my perspective.

Salgado: Because we worked hard [on management], we were able to get hazard pay. Anchor wasn’t going to do that naturally, but because we were able to bring it up [to management through the union], we were able to get this because it was in our contract.

We still had to fight with them to get them to [re]hire people. They would try to have a skeleton crew do production on stuff that a normal crew [would be] doing. So because of that, we fought with them: “Look, you need to hire people back, we’re getting complaints from people who are getting way too much of a workload.”

It’s one of those things where they [might] have done it anyway, but we were able to bring it up several times, so they did it before it was too little, too late.

6. What would you tell workers at other craft breweries who are thinking about unionizing?

Dahlstrom: Open up your mind, and be imaginative. You can break the status quo, that’s what that’s what did it for me. If you imagine a world where you can solidify the benefits that you like from your job, whether it’s meal periods, shift beers, “safety doughnuts …” whatever you like about your job you can solidify, and whatever you don’t like you can bargain over and change.

Would you like healthcare? Would you like higher wages? Would you like paid holidays? I mean, when you’re bargaining, you’re gonna have to give up some of those things, but just imagine a world where you could potentially have some of these things.

Salgado: People need to believe in the power of the contract. Believe in the power. For those who believe in it, it does change. If people work hard and they talk to each other, you know, things will change. I think it does work for people who are willing to give a union a shot.

Wilson: It was an unfamiliar situation and we went for it. It’s a learning experience for everyone. But, I mean, frankly, we’re better off now than we were before. I think it was worth it, for sure.

Machel: For a lot of people, this is their first-ever experience with the union, and with this specific union [ILWU Local 6], it’s a little bit hands-off. … It’s mostly based on the workers figuring out what to do next. That can be scary, and it was scary for a lot of us. But we’ve learned through mistakes and victories, and we’re getting better and better at this. And it’s created an even more prideful place of work. It’s created relationships with [coworkers] that would have never happened before. If we have an issue, let’s bring it up. Now, we can actually say something. Instead of just coming to work at a dope company, we’re coming to work at a dope company at a union that we created ourselves.

The article Anchor Union, One Year In: Lessons Learned at the Legendary Brewery appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/anchor-brewing-company-union/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/anchor-union-one-year-in-lessons-learned-at-the-legendary-brewery

[sarcasticshutter]

Man, a lot happens in a year: Number 2020

Started these yearly reviews back when I was in high school lol, and def haven’t done it every year (or if I did they’re not all on tumblr. Who knows, cause I feel like I’ve done more than I’ve found here) but I’d like to reflect on 2020 because wow. It obviously feels to everyone like a lost year where all you did was sit around at home and mourn all the normal things and the plans and the big life goals that have been fully stopped in their tracks thanks to a little (ongoing) global pandemic. 

Hello to future me, hope things are well. Shit sure is strange and tenuous at the moment lol. But it’ll all get unstuck again and the world will start turning soon enough. You know that. Anyway from where I’m sitting right now, it’s kind of hard to remember anything that’s happened this year. It feels like I’ve blinked and a year has been omitted from my life, aside from the first three months of 2020 where I was still very much out and rolling on my life-momentum and doing exciting things. So I just want to convince myself that things *have* happened this year, and actually they haven’t been so bad, and to reflect on life going on despite the odd flavor permeating everything this year. I’m glad that’s all I have to complain about because I guess feeling stuck isn’t the worst thing that can happen to a person. I digress. Here’s the highlights I’ve meandered through this year with my eyes closed apparently lol. Please enjoy them with me as I remember them again:

Travelled to Belize, Mexico, Jamaica, Haiti, the Cayman Islands, St Thomas (and probably more) Caribbean islands on the final months of my ship contract

Got to live through the distinctly odd and certainly once in a lifetime experience of being stranded on a cruise ship as the world shut all of its borders in March to reduce transmission of a global pandemic. Feels surreal to think about all the stuff I was seeing as it happened and how that’s probably a very small percentage of people on this planet who were...forgive me...in that boat at that moment in our collective history. So eerie, but with the calm of knowing you don’t know how bad it actually is out there. The self awareness that this is bigger than you can comprehend yet. Eye of the storm type feeling

St Patricks day party on that cruise ship when the rest of the world had ground to a halt and we all were stranded out there isolating as one sealed off covid pod of crewmembers, because if one of us on the ship had it we were all gonna have it. So no use distancing among us at that point. We had no guests left on board and had a huge end of the world party on the pool deck with full use of the guest pools and bars lol

Came home and life slowed waaaay down in march/april. Hiked with mom and dad, saw a lot more of the cats, had a wholly uneventful zoom birthday in early April for my 26th. A weird birthday for what felt like a strange age for me. 26 just fit weird as a number, I’m much more switched on for 27 for some reason. This one coming up feels more right somehow

Spent time in the pool, and doing a lot of yoga which has carried me through this whole year as a constant mellower of things for me mentally. A repeated exercise in re-grounding

Visited Alex in Flagstaff! Got to see meteor crater and spent a cute weekend in a little air bnb with my family, and did some aspen-y hiking as well

Bought my first car with my own money outright, that I’d been saving for the whole time I was in NYC. Been learning to be comfortable driving since I’ve never felt that way in my life lol, but I do think I’m less stressed behind the wheel now than I’ve ever been. Has been so nice to finally be combing through that anxiety. Finally was ready for it I guess

Started a (very long distance) relationship with a friend from the ship. He’s been a huge relief as far as someone to lean on through this year and a great sounding board for frustrations/lifeline to some feeling of sanity a good number of times. Shit is weird but taking this step still feels right, so we’ll see where tf this relationship is going haha

Moved to Tucson with a bff from college. A gigantic help for my sanity as far as getting a feeling of self reliance back and feeling like I have my own space. Soso grateful to be able to be sharing her home with her

Got a part time job so I could not feel so helplessly tied to the clusterfuck that has been unemployment insurance this year. Still have a lot to sort out with that... Glad to be earning my own cash, and glad that the weird little ragtag group of coworkers I’ve found myself with are actually a group of good hearts 

Pumpkin carving and a night hike up in Phoenix with my family for Halloween. And made sure I dropped off my early voting ballot to see that fucker out of office lol

Sweet god, Biden’s horrendously way too close presidential win. Can you imagine the other outcome... This is maybe the biggest relief of 2020 that he didn’t scrape out a second term

Outdoor attempt at a covid safe thanksgiving with my parents and my grandparents on my moms side in Phoenix

Finally had the balls to schedule a scary doctors appointment I’d been using covid to avoid going to. Got back the clean health news I had been anxious I wouldn’t receive. A huge weight off my chest that had been sitting there in the back of my thoughts since last year

Outdoor attempt at a covid safe christmas at my dads’ parents’ house in Sun City, and some cinnamon rolls and peanut butter ball making with my parents. Drove through a huge neighborhood of christmas lights and did a small mom and dad christmas gift opening on christmas eve night

Virtual new years game nights with SASH and the Joneses. Didn’t see a single firework or leave the house (heard em though) and felt surrounded by my closest friends safely even without seeing them in person

None of this stuff is all that flashy and a lot of the normal holidays or events, or even everyday things, were so much more low key and quiet this year. But it was still nice to at least have found a way to celebrate in a stripped down, sort of back to basics way. Glad to have been able to see my family so much more this year. Glad to have had countless meaningful text conversations with my friends who have had the same issues as me as far as having our entire industry unable to function for the last 9 months with no end in sight. The candidness of speaking about the difficulties everyone has had this year, but specifically sharing that weight of the arts being particularly suffocated, and having all of our young career momentums snuffed out for no reason of our own, has been soothing to commiserate about. It’s been a mentally taxing year in the hardest to describe way. But I’m glad that as hard as it is to find kind words for this year, at least it’s just boring and stuck and frustrated that are the things I’m feeling. Because I’ve managed not to lose anyone close to me, or have anyone dealing with any serious illnesses at the moment. 

(I believe) I’ve worked through all of the absolute bullshit I had on my plate in 2019. This year has been easier for me than last, as nuts as that sounds with every thing going on in 2020. I’m out of a suffocating relationship that had become very wrong for me.  Left the city that was killing me to remain stuck in. Had the courage to take this cruise job that I’d been curious about since graduation. Got to travel the world and meet amazing people I otherwise would have never known.  Met a new guy I’ve felt so much more effortlessly in sync with than I ever did in the last relationship. And that’s in an LDR lol, I can’t believe how comfortable that’s been given the ludicrous circumstances of seeing a guy from a different continent, 8 time zones away, during a global pandemic where our borders are shut to foreign visitors and we still at this moment don’t know when they’ll reopen. 

This year I’m just coasting in a house with my friend. Going to work at an easy job that covers my bills. Having the health and freedom to drive *my* car two hours to see my family way more often than I’ve seen them in the past four years. I’m feeling a lot more appreciative of my relationship with my brother, my parents, my grandparents. I’m feeling better about maybe returning to live where I’m from instead of seeing it with a chip on my shoulder. So in a lot of ways 2020 has been less of an emotional mindfuck for me than 2019 was. Or it’s at least been the landing pad to detangle everything from 2019.  I’ve been learning that maybe gathering a bit closer to a support system isn’t a weakness, but a comfort instead.

So this isn’t the tour de force bucket list I’ve grown accustomed to watching myself tackle in each year since undergrad. It’s a retracting of arms, and a regrouping to center. Being forced into looking inward at small details I hadn’t been interested in seeing lately. May be nice just to collect my feet underneath me again and take in all this chaotic crash course learning I’ve been doing the last few years before stepping back out of the plane. Time will tell if 2021 is another time of building and reflection, or a time to start taking a few shaky steps back out into whatever comes next.

What a year.

[trashrightsactivist]

recent private chat highlights, megasilverfist and ‘Ruby’ (trashrightsactivist)

(Note: This is for peoples' OOC reading pleasure, and cannot actually be seen by your character unless you are hacking tumblr to view peoples' private messages.)

Convo 1

megasilverfist

Hey, you might be making a post on this anyway, but any ideas on how I can keep people from lynching the local reds?

Preferably without making them even more angry with Voa, or totally trashing my career.  Though given the life or death nature I'm willing to stick my neck out a little, and we're probably going to war anyway.

trashrightsactivist

I don't even know. I'm still like idek about this whole thing. I hope you have enough food you are psychologically able to eat.

gotta wonder if this wasn't somehow a scheme to get us all killed

megasilverfist

I'm good, Nadles is probably regretting the unlimited noodles clause in my contract.

I don't see how that adds but then again

its not paranoia when the world really is out to get you.

trashrightsactivist

yeah i know it wasn't really it just feels that way

gotta go out of the district and to work soon, dreading it

honstly the best thing i can think of might be to remind people it's a voa blue not their reds at fault, he's a country away and has bodyguards so they're less likely to be able to hurt him

and the war is probably inevitable already

megasilverfist

sigh yeah

trashrightsactivist

anyway I'm going to work.

megasilverfist

cool, try not to die

trashrightsactivist

that's the plan ;)

megasilverfist

and remember if multiple people are coming at you don't let them surround you.

I'd meant to hook you up with some videos on basic street defense but its a bit late now.

trashrightsactivist

thanks. I guess if anything goes down at work... idk, I will try to get behind a corpse and hope they're too squeamish to touch it, idk

we've swapped shifts around so as much as we can people who are pregnant or have kids are staying home

anyway can't risk being late. hopefully ttyl

Convo 2

megasilverfist

You probably already figured this out, but maybe don't trust the food people are throwing out.

https://purpleparenting.tumblr.com/post/163275109612/people-are-reluctant-to-leave-out-their-food-for

trashrightsactivist

[no response]

megasilverfist

[after signficant waiting]

I'm just going to assume you're busy.  Right?

Yeah, thats it.  I should probably go train anyway.

3

megasilverfist

Glad you aren't dead. Let me know if I can help.

Also, like this probably is to much to ask, and might seem a bit creepy, but can you walk me through what happened?  I have a really strong interest in how street fights with untrained combatants play out.

trashrightsactivist

gonna go through what happened on blog but that won't have like. physical details of fight bit. i will go through those with you after post if you want but like. my memory of what occurred might not be 100%. concussion.

 megasilverfist

Yeah, that happens, I'd give you some tips but you've (hopefully?) got some actual medical attention.

 trashrightsactivist

yes. that I really don't remember, getting from fight to hospital.

nurse knows who brought me here but not how so I'mma try to track him down and ask

 megasilverfist

right

Red hospital or normal one?

 trashrightsactivist

red. we can't be patients in the other kind

but honestly being surrounded by only other reds rn is reassuring

 megasilverfist

Thought so, but was hoping otherwise because there are some very new drugs for brain injury that I don't think yours have access to.

Try to get some Alkysine if you can.

 trashrightsactivist

I'll ask. I know like, blunt force trauma is something this particular doc deals with a lot, so probly knows what he's doing

 megasilverfist

Not doubting his skill just access to supplies that are a bit limited among cleans.

 trashrightsactivist

fair. he said my brains not beat up too bad. no bleeding, minimal swelling.

 megasilverfist

That is very good.

 trashrightsactivist

few cracked ribs. coulda been a lot worse

 megasilverfist

Yeah, will you be able to get someone to cover you work for you?

 trashrightsactivist

yeah if they have to they'll share with the pathology techs at the hospital

(clean hospital. the guys who normally do 'why did you die of sick' exams will do 'why did you die of murder' exams)

but idek if they'll want me back at work, thats where the argument started

 megasilverfist

Oh shit.  Can you get another job?

 trashrightsactivist

yeah there is always just pick up to fall back on and can probably learn how to do the medical rather than crime version of the thing i do

 megasilverfist

Well thats good.

 trashrightsactivist

but yeah like.. i will report what i see not what my boss wants to be there

 megasilverfist

Is that (physically) safe?

 trashrightsactivist

well no, as we found out.

 megasilverfist

Oh sorry I thought you meant in your exit interview or whatever it is that you do when you leave an employer.

I'm not clear how that works.

I do stuff for money so I've got a job, but the way competitions work means I'm not technically an employee of anyone.

 trashrightsactivist

so I'm employed by a company, not the police, they just have a contract with the company. so shouldn't have to do exit interview? but. if they have a grudge they can find me.

maybe when it's less crisis-y there won't be a grudge

they would never usually ask that sort of thing, they're good cops usually

 megasilverfist

I think I see.

 trashrightsactivist

but you want me to put on the report those injuries are not from a police-issue beating stick when they are... I reckon whichever cop it was must have just panicked, the guy did look a bit red in the right light

 megasilverfist

Oh yeah, cleansticks are nasty.  I really respect you for doing that.

 trashrightsactivist

but it was stupid of me. I don't file the actual report, I just tell the guy who does what I see, he can cheerfully shred anything I say that he doesn't like

it was a futile gesture

 megasilverfist

Oh maybe a little less respect, but you tried.

 trashrightsactivist

i mean normally he wouldn't, you know

idk

everybody is not themselves now

 megasilverfist

Right.  Its relatively sane in my little bubble, because my gym is getting free nadles and I had enough money to help out my cousins (helps the grama buys instant stuff in bulk anyway).  So we've just been heads down focusing on the fights.  But everytime I get on this site its fucked.

 trashrightsactivist

yeah I don't feel like I have the energy for any of it any more

its all just words

 megasilverfist

I keep trying to help, but there just isn't much I can do.  I'm not a big celebrity yet, and I'm now broke again even though I was planning on streching out my prize money so I can't donate.  I'm tempted to go and try to punch anyone causing problems, but still have some common sense.

 trashrightsactivist

yeah I don't have any suggestions any more

shitty as it was all i want is for things to go back to normal

 megasilverfist

Wow, things really are bad if you think normal would be ok.

 trashrightsactivist

yeah well

talk to me when it doesn't hurt to breathe, maybe I'll get my sass back

 megasilverfist

Right.  I'll let you heal then.  Here's some of my fanfic if you need something to read http://archiveofourown.org/works/2809283/chapters/6304610 ((not by me ooc))

 trashrightsactivist

thanks dude

 megasilverfist

np

4

trashrightsactivist

[ruby will send you as good an account of how the fight went down as she can. It was her and a dude who works for the same company, but mostly at the hospital (who also helped her with this account of the fight), and they were jumped returning to their body transport vehicle. Two cops with extendable sticks. The other red was mostly able to keep out of it since they weren't really going for him, he was trying to get into his work bag for the closest thing he had to a weapon (a scalpel) but by the time he got it out it was over. The cops clearly didn't intend to kill her, just send a message - but at the same time, they can't have been overly concerned with *not* killing her, because they easily could have just by a blow landing a bit differently in a way they couldn't precisely control.

Ruby's only notable action was to try to crawl under the hearse in the hopes that they wouldn't be able to get to her, but since they were willing to lay hands on her they just dragged her out.]

 megasilverfist

Thanks, that was helpful for me, hopefully you won't be attacked again especially by the police but he are some possibly helpful thoughts. The hearse move was a good idea, even if it didn't work.  Playing dead might have been a good idea.  Also using your hands to protect your head while exposing tempting but less fatal targets as sacrifices.  Getting caned in the butt or similar hurts but you know enough anatomy to know you'd prefer it to your current state.  Lastly, its probably best for your coworker that he was forced to stay out of it, but if he had gotten involved using the bag as a shield and /or to entangle the cleansticks (thats the actual name I didn't come up with it) would probably have been a good strategy.  I'm not a cleanstick specialist, but knives are a bad match against them even when pre drawn, but they are *relatively* easy to screw up with tangle weapons and makeshift shields since they don't have a cutting edge or the weight of traditional staffs.

Almost forgot, I was assuming that the bag was heavy enough to hurt when swung but light enough that you can swing it pretty fast like 5-15 pounds.

 trashrightsactivist

Thanks for the advice

I'd be concerned that any sort of fighting back might only make them angrier? Like they were risking a kill but probably not going for one, if we'd fought back..

 megasilverfist

Yeah, thats what I meant by it being best that your coworker stayed out of it.          I included my advice based on the best way to deal with actually fighting but really, like ok if I had been swapped with your coworker by magic AND been able to draw the scapble to dual wield AND you're not in Biyan then I probably could have won the fight.  But thats some rather big ifs and doesn't get into what would happen afterwards.

 trashrightsactivist

yeah I mean ultimately him staying out of it probably saved my life cause it meant he could drive me to the hospital

but I don't doubt it woulda gone differently with a martial arts expert instead of a nerdy autopsy tech

why would being in Biyan make a difference, do cops have different weapons there or something?

 megasilverfist

Yeah, still effectively 2 v 1 with inferior weapons is not a great place.

 trashrightsactivist

yeah I'm in no hurry to leave the district again in the current climate

 megasilverfist

Biyan is just behind us here in Tapa when it comes to overall cleanstick fighting, and thats going by the performance of athletes and police department champions (as in representatives) in tournaments.  I didn't realize this until recently, but my research suggests that they spend a lot more time training their normal non-specialist cops in it than almost anyone else.

 trashrightsactivist

huh. Wonder if they anticipate more fights, or if they're trying to reduce the amount they resort to guns?

 megasilverfist

Well I don't know much about them, but going off what I do know and the  scenarios in this manual I found http://wiktenauer.com/wiki/Paradoxes_of_Defence_(George_Silver) I think they just really hate reds.

 trashrightsactivist

oh, the depressing reason

your fanfic was good btw

 megasilverfist

Yup:( Like obviously part of why cleansticks are used instead of other staffs is that they can be used on you guys, but their supposed to be general purpose weapons. And thats not what I'm seeing here as a highly trained martial artist with color vision.

Thanks.

So I mean obviously you can tell how many of those figures have red hair, but as a highly trained martial artist TM I can tell you the convention is normally to depict every combatant as a grey.

 trashrightsactivist

well that would make sense given cultural norms and all

wonder what you lot would make of the bareknuckle one-on-ones that go down here sometimes

 megasilverfist

I would be super super curious, and would love it if there was a way to get video without the obvious problems with that.

But like what rules (if any) are there.

And (how) do people train?

And what techniques do they use?

 trashrightsactivist

they serve a vaguely similar purpose to duels in being part of the internal dispute resolution system? Similar to what I read about Erithani duels there's a lot of like, chances to back down and apologise worked into the system and their function seems to be more preventative

 megasilverfist

That seems sensible, greys kinda do that, but less that we probably should.

 trashrightsactivist

rules are simple, fists and a bit of grappling though grandads love to debate whether that was allowed int heir day, no kicking or gouging or whatever, and it's over when someone falls down or gives up

kids *practice* in the sense of, they scrap for fun, idk to what extent it constitutes training

it's not very formal and really the point is to be willing to fight to prove your point rather than neccessarily being good?

so it probably looks exceedingly sloppy to someone like you

 megasilverfist

Probably, but there really is something to be said for raw courage.

No gouging and no kicks is a really good idea from a safety perspective, but having more grappling and less punching would probably be a smart move from that perspective.

Not that I expect ya'll to change your culture based on my advice.

 trashrightsactivist

yeah I mean it's mostly a way to contain disputes among like 3.5-6 year olds so there's a socially accepted endpoint and no risk of harming the community fabric or attracting attention from outside the district

 megasilverfist

And they are you from a showing your serious veiwpoint.

 trashrightsactivist

yeah I don't think they'd accept alterations based on safety, cause it's about having the balls, as you said

but given that I have that Red Island separatist fantasy it does make me wonder how the justice system would turn out

'you may either fight the defendant, or have the judge explain this entire mess to your grandmother, how do you plead?'

 megasilverfist

Lololol

My grama would say the mess is fine but why wouldn't you fight em?

 trashrightsactivist

maybe you like your face :P

 megasilverfist

Well I am dashingly handsome.

 trashrightsactivist

I saw your promo pics online, can't disagree there

 megasilverfist

Thanks, though the photographer did a lot.

Legally we can't photoshop them too much, but lighting, picking the best one ect can do a ton, and we can shop a little.

 trashrightsactivist

if I were the type to do selfies, I would not be doing selfies for a good few weeks

 megasilverfist

Yeah, I get that, though we're encouraged to to the occasional beat up shot as long as its framed properly.

 trashrightsactivist

oh of course. but gotta be like, sexy injured not 'mishandled reject tomato' injured

 megasilverfist

Yup, a mix of that and sometimes having to look bad to make the other guy look good for the good of the sport.

 trashrightsactivist

you aren't suggesting any of it is staged are you?

 megasilverfist

Just the photo shoots yes. The matches very no.  In my main promotion that is.  I keep meaning to right a post about this, but there are promotions that are explicitly registered as stunt based entertainment which are fixed to varying degrees.

One of them even has a "red" as one of the "heels".

 trashrightsactivist

what.

liiink

actual *actors* tryna play reds is always tragihilarious, I can't imagine what that would be like

is his special move whacking you over the head with a garbage can

IS HIS CATCHPHRASE 'TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH'

 megasilverfist

Actually he's an undertaker, and makes horrible horrible death puns.

And fights with a piece of "sewage pipe" granted to him by his district elder.

But the overall thing is as corny as you're picturing it.

And frankly I like your idea better.

Not that I really approve, of making him the heel, but I guess you have to take what you can get.

 trashrightsactivist

oh sure, well he was never gonna be anything else

 megasilverfist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6CD7TUIS7c

 trashrightsactivist

that shit is hilarious

 megasilverfist

Ok, I should go soon, but three things first.

 trashrightsactivist

ok

 megasilverfist

first if you need to get a hold of me outside tumblr in a fairly secure way use ((contact info)) unless you have a better suggestion you seem to know security.

The next two are two good thing to come from this mess.  Well good from your prospective I guess.

 trashrightsactivist

thanks. I don't think I have anything better rn but I'll check and let you know, otherwise that looks good.

 megasilverfist

First, I am sick of this shit.  I still believe in pollution, and I can't do much now, but stars like actual national champs get one controversial position.  I was going to go after the fitness scams that basically everyone but blues fall for but...

yeah.

And lastly oh wait you already rebloged it so much for my climax, but still

[link to 3cool5u’s Allocator Savo fanfic]

 trashrightsactivist

:)

the second one though. What are you planning?

 megasilverfist

I'll need to think of some details after I win, but ways to improve red lives without denying pollution exists.

 trashrightsactivist

I'm grateful that you want to do something. I'll look round see if I got some suggestions for specific points. Most importantly, though - if it made sense to keep a lid on things for now before it probably still does

for now

[therethinkers]

get out: black educator edition (new orleans schools)

by a black educator in new orleans | pen name barbara jean wells 

The 2015-2016 school year was easily the most traumatic work year of my adult life. I was a teacher at an alternative high school in New Orleans, a job very similar to one I left in Philadelphia. Alternative schools are intended to address the pushout crisis by creating spaces for students who have not found success in traditional schooling environments. Sometimes this is simply because they need a smaller environment than those provided by traditional schools. Sometimes it’s because they are the kids who have dropped out or been pushed out of the charters that claim to be educating ALL of our kids. Sometimes they are kids in the justice system, or young parents caring for children of their own. The possibilities are endless. It’s a population that I am very comfortable with, having worked in alternative education for a few years and also one that I care deeply about because of the unique challenges and struggles that come with serving youth.

Despite my passion for, and comfort with, alternative education, last year led me to question the very foundation that I had built my career as an educator on. I cried a lot, emoted on facebook, journaled during professional development meetings, frequented happy hours with other educator-friends and soaked it all away over margaritas paired with chips, and salsa (yes, we’ll need another pitcher). I worked out for self-care, got a therapist to maintain balance, and dug into my yoga practice to begin meditating regularly. I did the usual things one does when they’ve got a stressful job.  

When those folks are teachers, all of the above are done with student stories sprinkled in between. Exasperating, funny, touching, and annoying moments with kids that make the job everything that it is. But when my coworkers and I went out to vent about a stressful day, the kids weren't the main topic of conversation. We talked about them, sure, but much more of our dialogue was spent on how racism played out in the daily grind of our work as educators. We vented about administrators whose savior complexes were evident in the very way they spoke to and about students. We talked about how meager the expectations were of our low-income, predominately Black kids. We talked about the lack of ability for our white coworkers to even acknowledge the life differences between themselves and their students, so great was their desire to be colorblind. And more than anything, we talked about how the behaviors that spawned from these beliefs about Black kids and the communities they came from indicated the same age-old (and, well… racist) idea that our students should not be expected to excel.

What I realized halfway through this school year was that my desire to center Blackness in the classroom, to help my students unlearn most of the things that the media told them about themselves, still had to be done within a racist system. Perhaps this isn’t shocking to folks of color who are teachers, but after 9 years in the profession, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. The progress I felt like I was making in the classroom with my students was directly counteracted frequently by other staff members in the building: those who looked down on them, made wild assumptions about their lives based on stereotypical views of Black communities, and centered conversations about the kids on their academic deficits more than anything else.

So what exactly did this look like on a day-to-day basis?

Extreme white saviorism

For starters, the level of white saviorism was intense. In this alternative school setting it translated to exceedingly low expectations of students and their futures. In one staff meeting, a white teacher claimed that it was actually a great thing if students ended up working at local grocery stores after graduating because at least, “they weren’t in the streets shooting each other up.” Others nodded along in agreement.

The idea that they were essentially “saving” kids from themselves and the communities around them drove some staff members to befriend kids rather than encourage their academic or personal development. One white teacher whose actions were particularly infuriating, let’s call him Mr. Frank, taught special education students who struggled behaviorally and academically.  In this setting, it meant his class was full of the Black boys who could not sit still. Students dubbed it the place you go to “listen to music and eat snacks.”  In meetings, Mr. Frank spoke openly and often about all the academic tasks he felt like students were incapable of even trying. These ideas help to explain some of the trash that passed for rigor in his classroom. He let students print Wikipedia pages and paste them to trifolds for final project work. He excused them from completing assignments and rarely failed kids regardless of what their effort or attendance looked like. Instead of encouraging academic growth in any meaningful way, he took kids to the store, bought them food, and handed out money. Let’s pause here, because many of these things sound incredibly sweet when done by a family member or friend. And yes, relationships are super important when teaching. But building them isn’t the ONLY part of teaching. As educators we focus on building relationships with kids in order to better TEACH them. To do this we have to actually believe in their intellectual capabilities enough to push for their academic growth. Mr. Frank didn’t see the second part of the equation as important though. He thought so little of the kids’ intelligence that there was no urgency in actually teaching them. He was there to be nice to them. To call them his “boys.” To make friends.

Mr. Frank’s existence as a 60-something year old white man didn’t stop him from greeting Black kids as the n-word and jokingly calling a young woman a “ratchet ass bitch” in front of a group of males in order to get a laugh from them. In previous years before I had arrived to the school, Mr. Frank had a co-teacher who was a gay trans man.  When students in his class had been verbally assaulting, and in one instance physically taunting the co-teacher, Mr. Frank simply ignored the situation. He claimed his co-teacher needed to make better relationships with the kids, instead of using the teachable moment to encourage students to confront their blatant homophobia and transphobia. It would not have been easy. But actual, true teaching never is.

Over the course of my year there, it became clear that Mr. Frank’s class was a fun holding cell. Its sole purpose was to have somewhere to put kids. And with the low expectations and easy grades, it wasn’t difficult to see how the desire to be a savior to his idea of poor, broken, Black kids translated to the goal of befriending his students rather than teaching them.

the following is a snapshot of interviews with teachers and students about their experience.

The privileging of white voice/ opinion

Outside of Mr. Frank’s outrageous everyday actions, another obvious indicator of racism in our workplace was the constant approval of white opinion and the subsequent shutting down of voices of color. One white teacher who was covering a Black educator’s classroom told students that their definition of racism, one that recognizes that all whites receive benefits and privileges from systems of white supremacy, was wrong because it made white people uncomfortable. He justified his assertion by coolly stating that he could speak to the issue because his partner was mixed race.

Over the course of the year, several teachers of color had complained about Mr. Frank’s behavior, specifically about their discomfort with him using the n-word and how his decision to do so made the workplace feel unsafe. They were told several times, “He has his methods.” Early in the year, a young Black woman was hired as his co-teacher but didn’t last in his classroom a month before needing to be placed with another educator. She expressed to me that he often seemed unprepared to teach and when she asked for lesson plans or outlines, she was scolded. He told her, “You don’t ask questions. I’ve been doing this for years. I’m the surgeon, you’re the assistant.” When she went to the principal with complaints of being treated condescendingly, she was reprimanded for causing trouble and made to sign a contract stating that she would never discuss Mr. Frank with other teachers while on the school premises.

Later in the year, when I tried to organize a meeting with a few teachers of color to talk about how best to deal with a white man calling Black kids the N-word, and brainstorm coping strategies for the growing list of racial microaggressions at work, I was called into the principal’s office for a meeting with her and the dean. Some folks suspected that someone had ratted me out and brought the principal the information. Others insisted that she regularly read staff emails. Either way, in the meeting I was made to apologize for my unprofessional behavior, despite the fact that I had previously addressed the principal with my concerns and was dismissed without any promise of further action.

All these instances taught an easy lesson. Other teachers of color and I quickly learned that if you had issues with how white teachers treated you, you kept your mouth shut. If you questioned how certain practices and behaviors were impacting students of color, you kept your mouth shut. And if you wanted to address issues of microgressions that made the workplace toxic, you didn’t discuss it at work in hopes of bringing about change. You went to happy hour with people you trusted and cried.

Valuing Intention over Impact

One of the major things that became apparent to me during my time at this school was how heavily white people who made the workspace uncomfortable leaned on their good intentions. Because everyone meant well, because everyone could couch their behaviors in the altruistic deed of educating Black kids with huge academic gaps, they did not seem to mind if their actions had negative impacts on coworkers of color or even the Black children they were supposed to be serving. When I realized this about my boss and coworkers, I began to see how strongly whiteness seeks to protect itself in schools. Everything from Mr. Frank’s “methods,” to teachers doing work for students they didn’t deem capable, to oft-expressed colorblind sentiments that white teachers used to make connections between themselves and the kids, were excused and never questioned because the people who did or said them “meant well.” It didn’t matter what impact this had on the kids and it sure as hell didn’t matter how it made staff members of color in the school feel.

It was around this time that I began to draw connections between law enforcement and education systems in this country. I knew from the many instances of cops who got off for murdering unarmed Black men and women, that whiteness in their institution also tended to protect itself. And much like with law enforcement, the issues that exist in education aren’t addressed as system-wide problems indicative of attitudes and biases towards people of color. Instead we discuss the few bad apples. In the education field, this means the teachers who DON’T care at all. They are essentially, the teachers with ill intent.

The problem with this approach is that most all white folks, teachers and otherwise, never see themselves as bad apples. They know that they mean well so they assume that they couldn’t possibly be a part of the problem. At this alternative school, the white folks who caused a great deal of the microaggressions could barely hear us decrying their actions and language. I imagine because our complaints were drowned out by the sound of them patting themselves on their backs every day for their hard work.

Recently, I read a headline that announced that percentages of Black teachers in the classroom have fallen drastically in the past few years. I didn’t bother reading the article because I felt like the wounds from last year were a little too raw for me to willingly subject myself to stories about why others like me may have been driven off. Halfway through the year when I was processing the notion of the education system being corrupt and failing to serve Black and Brown students, I posted a rant on Facebook. In it, I reflected on nearly 9 years in the education field and the experiences it took to get there. I specifically recalled going to grad school with people who made sweeping generalizations about Black/ Brown communities and consequently stereotyped their students as well. I remember smoking cigarettes after classes with fellow students of color lamenting the fact that some of the people in our Ivy League program were already in positions of power in schools full of Black children. I remember how proud they seemed of themselves for taking on the work of “fixing�� kids and schools, despite the lack of desire to fix their own racist viewpoints, language, approaches, etc.

Like last year, I brushed it all off over happy hours. I was still hopeful then. I thought that I could teach Black and Brown youth in a way that centered them, their stories, their beauty, and their lives. I did not consider that those grad school classmates who thought so little of us, and that people who shared their ideas, were already running the system and starting the charter schools. I did not consider that fighting for my kids essentially meant fighting against these people. It was a battle I was unprepared for when I first started teaching in 2007. It is a battle I expect to fight for the rest of my life. Though the new hope is to one day do it within an institution that is willing to take on the fight with me. This would save me from a career of holding my tongue until I get to half-priced drinks with other teachers of color who have learned that silence is the only way to stay in the ring.