#its weird that there are posts that go around with comments i made forever ago that still link back to me

[monkmain2]

I figured if I were to post these pictures here I might as well include the whole thing

extremely long page of text below the cut

his idea has been rattling around in my brain like a little gremlin who just snorted five lines of coke and drank an entire can of monster energy

I was extremely reluctant to actually get this idea out there because my little autism creechur brain was 100% convinced that it was the most cringy shit ever created and i would be violently and incessantly beaten down by the very fact that i had posted something so blasphemous on the internet by my very own conscience

But at this point i feel like there’s no point in keeping it in or else it’ll just infect my brain forever and i’ll never be able to think about anything else so if it is disgustingly cringy i suppose i’ll just have to embrace the cringe and deal with it

Ok fine admittedly if it is cringe i’ll probably just disable reboots and comments on this post and adamantly deny its existence if anyone brings it up

Ok so uh it’s a concept for an alternate UTMV

God this is so fucking cringe i hate it already why am i like this

I don’t even want to keep going why is this so cringe to my gremlin brain

AHEM

So uh

It’s sorta an expansion of that “UTMV but Ink is really fucking short” idea i had a while ago

So like it’s like when Ink tried to destroy his soul it did the refusing to shatter thing for no particular reason other than i couldn’t think of a better way to cobble together an explanation for why he still has one

So it still made all his memories go away but it also reverted him back to the age in which such a mentality would be expected aka a baby

As for how he left his AU after this that’s something that i have to talk about Nightmare and Dream’s weird convoluted story in this AU for you to understand

So unlike normal Dreamtale instead of Dream being a perfect angel that everyone loves and Nightmare being jealous of him he’s a belligerent little shit with anger issues that everyone just kind of puts up with because he’s the guardian of positivity so they can’t really hate him

Nightmare isn’t jealous of him and is instead self-conscious because everyone hates him for no reason even though he’s just a shy bean who’s trying his best and he thinks something must be wrong with him

So one day some kids decide that it would be fun to climb the tree and steal an apple. Nightmare sees them doing this and climbs after them, and they get into a slight scuffle which ends with one kid falling out of the tree with a couple apples. When Nightmare goes to make sure he’s ok, the kid shoves an apple in his mouth for bullying reasons.

Nightmare does the whole explodey goop thing, but he doesn't go crazy or anything, and instead it hurts so much he accidentally thrashes his tentacles too much and levels the whole area, killing the kids and obliterating the tree.

Dream comes running and yells at Nightmare for destroying the tree and killing the kids even though it’s clearly not his fault. And then uuuh i don’t really know the other stuff about Dreamtale after the whole Nightmare eating all the apples part so bing bang boom some shit happens and now Dreamtale is uninhabitable and Dream and Nightmare decide to fuck off and go protect the multiverse instead.

Dream solves all his problems with violence and Nightmare solves his problems by either pretending to have an intent to kill or curling up on the floor and crying. (he just like me fr (i’m totally not projecting here (why would you think such a thing))) also Dream isn’t allowed to enter the Omega timeline for anger management reasons

Some bullshit happens that results in a Swap!Sans exiting his universe right as a reset happens so that’s how i shoehorn Blue into being a character

Also Error is still here by the way he’s still destroying universes and stuff nothing much is different about him

Speaking of Error, at one point he notices Ink’s AU and moseys on over to destroy it as usual. Nightmare and Blue jump in to protect the AU, but when they realize Ink is the only one there, they decide to just distract Error instead of actually fighting him while they get Ink out of there. Blue grabs Ink, and Ink uses his magic AU powers or whatever to sense the coordinates of Blue’s AU and teleports there to get away from Error. After they get Ink to the Doodlesphere, (Error can’t go the the Doodlesphere in this AU) they realise they can’t just dump him in the Omega timeline, because if he gets stressed he’ll read the coordinates of someone's AU and teleport there, and there are so many characters from so many AUs there, it’ll be unreasonably difficult to find him if he does. so they decide that the best course of action is to keep him in the Doodlesphere to protect him from Error themselves.

Oh yeah Ink is also mute for some reason

That’s pretty much it i think

Vaguely related rant time!!!!!!!!!!!

Honestly I don't think posting about this will help me stop thinking about it. In order to, like, not get bored in the undertale fandom, you have to constantly make AUs because focusing on one AU doesn't really work unless you want an extremely convoluted story that drags on forever. The only other option is to make an alternate multiverse, so you can just fuck about with no real storyline. But that gets old too after a while, and if I don't have access to drawing tools I just get lost in this one repeating storyline with stupid amounts of angst because it’s not interesting without angst. 

Being in a fandom does kind of stifle your creativity after a while, but the very fact that I'm hyperfixated on undertale makes it hard to tear myself away and try other things even if I know I should. That’s part of the reason I'm trying to get back into writing my wolf story, so I have something else to think about,. the problem with that is, it isn’t an open storyline. I know how it’ll end and what will happen next, so I can't really imagine random circumstances to chuck the characters into since that would never realistically happen in the world I created.

The moral of the story is my school better fix the weird restrictions on every single decent drawing website in existence or I might explode

My god this entire thing spans two and a half pages of a google doc i had to make a new one just to write this without it lagging

[probssomethingorother]

🚨 NEW CHAPTER! 🚨

I said I was going to turn this out and I did! Whoop whoop. Unfortunately, I have done barely any review on it so good luck folks. Will go back and make fixes soon. Feel free to call out anything glaring/jarring. @eedsknees gave me the idea to include (SPOILER) some nightmare content, so they are lowkey responsible for jump starting the writing process on this one.

Back & Forth: a the last of us fic

post-episode 8 Silver Lake hurt/comfort

Ellie & Joel, both riding the struggle bus, canon compliant

Rating: Mature for dark themes, nothing more than the show

It was Joel who stumbled first. He had felt the strength seeping out of him with every step so viscerally it was like his body was a container with a slow leak. His gate would falter and his hand would slip further down her shoulder, power waning. He would cough in his throat and blink forcefully trying to reignite the spark of energy that had carried him to Ellie just hours ago, but it was all a losing battle. And eventually, he lost it. It was Ellie who moved first after that.

chp 1 | chp 2 | chp 3 | chp 4 | chp 5 | chp 6 | chp 7 | chp 8 / chp 8 |

chp 9 !!! YAY !!

read on Ao3 with the link above or below the cut, and remember comment where you can! <3

Chapter 9: (warning not proof read, will do that in the AM)

A lifetime ago, he was warned that raising a teenager - a teen girl at that - was going to be one of the hardest things he was going to live through. Joel had just started into the moody teenage years with Sarah before he lost her, they had their small arguments here and there, but really hadn’t quite hit that point where she was talking back, slamming doors, walking away, or giving him the silent treatment. Still, he had done all the mental preparation for the day his teenage girl would suddenly start putting him to the test, but he never thought in a million years that the teenage girl doing it was not going to be his Sarah. No, it was Ellie. 

Ellie, who had gone from pouting in silence on the couch to fitfully falling back asleep. From his spot a few feet away, Joel had first thought she was muttering under her breath, talking through something and trying to vent her frustrations, but then he noticed the way her body rose and sank rhythmically.  Still turned away from him, he couldn’t see her face to confirm, but after countless nights of looking over her while he took watch, he knew her breathing patterns like a parent knowing their child’s distinct cries. 

She was asleep, and deeply; unfortunately, it just wasn’t peacefully. 

For a long few minutes, Joel waited in the wingback chair, knee bouncing as he debated how long to let the restlessness go on before intervening. Hunched over with his arms on his knees, he wrung out his hands as he watched each one of her breaths and acutely listened in for what was slipping from her mouth, even turning his head so his good ear pointed more in her direction. 

Over the months together he had seen her have a few occasionally, but he had never woken her, and eventually, she did always settle. But now, this just felt different. She had been struggling in her waking hours, it seemed cruel to also let her suffer in her sleep.

“I’m not…don’t,” she softly muttered. The words were more distinct than much of the rest that had been coming from her, and the sense of desperation behind them was painfully evident.

Sighing, Joel stood up with a groan and silently moved closer to her. The blankets were still tightly wrapped around her, constricting her movements to small twitches of her body, clearly unable to manage anything more against the weighty fabric. Her hair splayed across the cushion and fell down her back, which just made Joel realize it now was fully out of its normal ponytail, elastic lost somewhere - maybe forever. In the soft light of the fire, her hair looked almost golden. However, it also meant its tangles and mats were highlighted, strands clumped and bunched in weird spots. 

“No….stop…no,” Ellie cried out again, still a soft and breathy slew of words, her body twitching again before settling. 

For a moment, it actually looked like she might be calming for good, heavy breaths petering out for a second; so Joel hesitated before making any further moves, hand lingering just above her shoulder. From above, he could now see more of her face. It was contorted with a tightness, brows pushed together and jaw clenched. It looked like she was trying to turn it more into the cushion, hide it away from something, but she could only push in so much into the fabric without smothering herself - even her unconscious body seemed to know that. 

Wherever she was, or whatever she was seeing, in her head, couldn’t be anything good. 

Suddenly, Ellie’s breathing hitched, a whimper escaping her lips, her eyes fluttering beneath her lids as she relived whatever terror she was experiencing. “Please…,” she whispered. 

The sounds tore at Joel's heart. 

Enough was enough. 

Taking a deep breath, he gently placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to shake her awake, “Hey…hey, Ellie. Wake up,” he murmured, voice thick with concern.

But his soft murmurs only seemed to increase her unease. Her breathing grew more rapid, each exhale punctuated by a soft whimper of distress. 

"Ellie.." Joel tried again, placing more pressure on her shoulder to tip her onto her back. Her body complied, and she was now supine, but that also only seemed to make things worse for her.  The whimpers started to get caught in her throat, her face screwing up like she was about to cry. 

"Kiddo, time to wake up," Joel said, a little more sternly as he brought a gentle hand to the top of her head in a small gesture of comfort. It was an old instinct, something he used to do for Sarah when she was too afraid to sleep- gently caressing the top of her head, brushing back her beautiful curls to lull her down. (He later learned she should be in a bonnet when she slept, hair tucked away, but oh well). 

He brushed back some of Ellie’s hair too, trying not to get distracted by how utterly dirty it was,  bits sticking together by something, making it feel almost crunchy. 

“Ple….don’t….that’s…you’re hurting mmm….” 

She sounded like she was talking to someone now, and just being in proximity to it made Joel riddled with guilt as if he was the one it was directed at. With another soft sigh, Joel’s hand trailed down her head, past her shoulder, and onto her arm, giving it a squeeze. The move was a bad choice. 

Ellie's body immediately jerked away from him, eyes shooting open in terror, as her arm flung out in a wild, blind attempt to get the touch off her. 

Her hand connected solidly with the most vulnerable part of Joel- her loose fist hitting his barely stitched-together stab wound, dead center.

Ellie’s hand was tiny, but even so, it fucking hurt so bad. Time seemed to freeze, the sheer intensity of the pain anchoring Joel in agonizing stillness before the sensation hit him in full, like a tidal wave. He saw stars, the bright flecks dancing in front of his eyes as every nerve in his body screamed in agony. It felt like a thousand needles were being driven into his side, radiating outwards in a hot, searing wave of pinpricks that washed through his body from head to toe. 

He stumbled back with an unstable step, knocking into the edge of the coffee table before trying to catch himself, only for his legs to do the opposite and give out beneath him. He crumpled to the floor with a deep pained groan, voice ragged and raw, landing with a thump. 

For a very long moment, the world seemed distant, muffled, as if he was underwater as he sat still on the floor, hands not even able to clutch at the spot, just ghosting above it. For that same very long moment, Ellie’s eyes stayed fixed wide, now with a different form of terror as she came to terms with what she had just done. Both rattled by the sudden change of events, everything became eerily still between them as the room turned scarily quiet.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, played on repeat in Ellie’s head, until finally she was was scrambling to sit up, blankets tangling around her, restricting her movements. With a frustrated groan, she yanked and kicked them away, tossing them angrily aside as she popped off the couch, desperate to check on Joel. 

She almost tripped and fell down too, feet getting caught up in the pile of discarded fabric on the floor. The stumble became a somewhat coordinated descent, and she dropped to her knees at his side. 

”Oh God, Fuck, fuck, Joel?,” Ellie stammered, her voice laden with guilt. She knelt anxiously beside him, hands hovering, unsure of where to touch, or how to help. His eyes were squinted, brow furrowed, beads of sweat already forming on his forehead. He looked as he did when she first put him on that dingy mattress in the basement, just constipated with pain. It made her want to vomit knowing she was now the one to cause it this time. 

Still filled with lingering anxiety from her nightmares, Ellie’s body was cracking under all the emotion, tears pricking at her waterline. She fluttered her eyes quickly, trying to get it to stop, but the longer she stared down at Joel the more she felt the tears threaten to spill over. 

“Joel? Dude..what- tell me what I can do,” she stumbled out desperately. 

Joel could barely register her voice much less what she was saying. A ringing in his ears was now taking over making everything just seem a bit staticky. His eyes wandered around the ceiling for a second before screwing shut, trying to stave off an incoming wave of dizziness. 

He couldn’t understand why it hurt so bad, why a hit less than a punch had literally knocked him on his ass. 

God fuck if she was able to do this, how was he going to defend them against anything if something did happen?

He groaned then, but from the thought of his inability not the pain. The pain was on a level that far surpassed groans. 

“Okay..okay just,” Ellie began, taking his shaky hovering hands and moving them away, “let me look. I’m sorry.. sorry.. sorry,” she finished, biting at her lip as she slowly tried to raise his shirt to see the damage she had caused. 

But Joel wasn’t going to let her feel bad for this. Certainly wasn’t going to allow her to make it her responsibility to fix him again. Absolutely not.  

Despite the waves of pain that threatened to overwhelm him, Joel managed to open his eyes. Through the haze, he saw Ellie's panicked face, her deep brown eyes wide with fear. 

She had barely gotten his shirt up, it sticking to him with dried blood. "S'okay," he rasped, bringing a hand up to push down the fabric and stop her before she could get much further. "Don’t," slipped out, although he had been going for “don’t worry.” 

Ellie stopped moving, but didn’t release the grip on his shirt, worried now that anything she would do would just make it worse. “I- okay - just what - how? What do you need?” 

Realizing his poor attempt at speaking before had only made her more anxious, Joel didn’t rush into replying this time. He took a long breath in and out, controlled through his mouth. It made his stomach produce a deep pain when his diaphragm filled and released the air, chest cavity rising and deflating. He pushed his head further back into the cold ground, trying to focus on a different sort of feeling than something beside his side.

“Just gimme…a second.” He pushed out, words complete and mostly steady this time. 

Ellie bit her lip, regret evident in her eyes. Releasing his shirt, and with a deep exhale she sat back on her heels, giving Joel space but still close enough to assist him if he needed. 

She couldn’t believe she had fucking hurt him. He was still fucking fragile and she really could have done some damage - she knew it. It wasn’t like she had given him world-class first aid in the first place. 

“Did I get your stitches?” She asked with apprehension. They were probably so fucked.

“Ellie.” Her name reverberated through the sparsely furnished room, the sound trailing out shakily from a  Joel. He might as well have just said, “shut up,” because somehow that’s what it sounded like to Ellie’s ears.  

Silence started and dragged on then for several moments as they both waited for Joel’s pain began to recede, neither moving much at all. Every so often there was a small sniffle as Ellie tried to bite back tears. 

Joel's voice, rough and filled with exhaustion, broke the monotony. 

“Already feeling better,” he offered, after the third sniffle. Ellie had been trying to hide being on the brink of crying, but there wasn’t much space between them for things to be going unheard. 

With a roll of her eyes and a huff, she wiped at them with the back of her hands.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying…I’m not a fricken crybaby,” she mumbled, clearly frustrated with herself. Joel hummed in agreement as he began to reposition himself, more focused on not causing himself any more pain than producing a reply to her. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? Cause you don’t look okay…” Ellie pushed anxiously, trying to get the focus back on him. 

“I’m fine. Just caught me off guard is all.”

They both knew that was a bit of an oversimplification and by the look on Ellie’s face, she wasn’t too happy with his attempt to brush this under the carpet.

"It wasn't your fault," Joel murmured, pushing himself to a sitting position with a wince. Every movement he made seemed to be a battle, a very annoying struggle against the pain that radiated from his side. "You were just reacting... to something else…. probably my fault anyhow.” 

Joel's eyes inadvertently flicked down to Ellie's bare thighs, the blue-black hues of bruises evident even in the dim light, as she knelt next to him. He had noticed them earlier, but the immediate crisis then had pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind. Now, they came flooding back, mind zoning out as his gaze lingered on the red flags that marred her body.

She had been reacting to something else. 

“I said don’t touch me motherfucker!”

Broken pants. 

“Don’t do it, please don’t do it.”

Scratches on her waistline. 

“you’re hurting-”

Begging, even in her sleep.

“Please don’t.”

"Quit staring," Ellie muttered with a hint of bitterness. Drawn from spiraling thoughts, Joel’s eye flicked back up to hers, filled with a genuine concern, and a bit of remorse. 

"I wasn’t—“ 

“You were," she cut him off, her voice filled turning to something else, a mix of exhaustion and defiance as she pulled down her sweatshirt the best she could to cover her thighs. It barely did a thing.  

”Let me see your side," she said, moving toward his shirt once more. He held out a hand, stopping her.

He wasn’t going to let her keep avoiding this. 

“Tit for tat - you wanna check on me, I wanna check on you,” Joel rasped, his voice carrying an edge of firmness, making it clear that this was really non-negotiable even if presenting it as such. 

Ellie’s jaw clenched. “I’m fine,” she said sternly. 

“You ain’t,” he countered, eyes again flicking down to her legs, purposefully this time, brows raised before he came back to meet her eyes. They were as terse as he’d ever seen. 

They darted away from his view as she muttered, "It's nothing,” her voice low, but Joel caught the slight tremor in it. 

“It ain’t 'nothing'," he pressed firmly. 

With an irritated exhale, Ellie rose as her eyes rolled. She stared down at him for a long moment before shooting her hand out for him to grab. 

Joel looked at it, and then at her, and then back to it. He hadn’t really anticipated getting up this soon, but he wasn’t going to deny the hand she was extending, metaphorical or physical. He hoped that despite the anger her face showed, the gesture was as much about reconciliation as it was assistance. 

Of course, he wouldn’t be so lucky. 

With more force than he thought she capable, Ellie helped him move to stand, pulling him vertically and giving him a tight grip to sink into it. She didn’t say a word about the heavy groan that ripped through his body during it all or the way his strong grasp made the cut on the side of her hand burn. She turned away her head from his as he made his way up, not wanting to meet his gaze, and not wanting him to see the way she was making her own body ache with the effort of supporting him. Head drooping toward the floor, she stayed by his side for a moment as he panted through the residual pain, bent at the waist just slightly his free hand on his hip. When he seemed steady enough, Ellie slipped her hand from his, giving it a little shake to rid the irritation in her fingers from his clenched hold. 

Marching back to the couch, she aggressively snatched the blankets off the ground and plopped herself onto the worn cushions with a glare and a huff, deliberately positioning the university quilts over her legs to hide it all away.  

“Fuck you,” she spat stoically as her body hunched down, arms crossing over her chest. 

It had flipped so easily inside her, the switch back to anger and frustration, that it was almost catching her own self off guard. Her stomach felt like it was hanging low, her muscles were all tense, her throat was aching to scream, and her body desperately just felt like picking up the closest thing and heaving it across the room. 

She bit the impulse back, stifled down the brewing aggression and frustration - but just barely. 

The last time she let herself get swept up in the same feelings a man’s head became sludge on the carpet. Ellie knew she wouldn’t do that to Joel - ever - but she also didn’t want to go anywhere near the emotions that she knew could fuel that sort of thing.

But, that was much harder said than done. And right now, her mind and heart were at odds, unsure of which was actually in control, but either way, one was telling her to make Joel hurt. To make him sad and angry. To make him feel the way she was suddenly starting to again. 

“You took off my pants.” 

The regret was immediate as she spat the words out with venom, but there was also a sweet satisfaction that came afterward, when the words hung heavy in the air, when the look on his face told her she had it - that soft spot inside of him, that protector persona - easily crushed. 

“Ellie..” 

She shouldn’t be doing this, not to him, none of this was his fault, but for some reason, she couldn’t make herself stop. 

“You wouldn’t’ve even known… I never said you could do that, ” she muttered, eyes narrowing.

The color drained from Joel’s face, and for a moment he looked as if he was about to topple over again.  He sucked in a long breath, a deep feeling of culpability settling in his heart. It was almost more painful than Ellie’s hand connecting with his wound just moments before - actually, he might prefer round two of that now, then this, or whatever this was shaping up to be. 

He knew what he did, knew it had been necessary, but it made him feel dirty all the same. She didn’t have to do much to bring out the guilt when he already felt ashamed. 

Slowly, Joel turned and eased himself into the wingback, taking up refuge in the same spot he had watched her battle through the nightmare earlier - a nightmare he was suddenly worried was somehow about him. 

Head low, forearms resting on his thighs, palms, and hands anxiously rubbing together, he ground his teeth back and forth, her screams echoing in his ears once again. 

A blip of his large hands encircling her tiny bruised wrists as he moved them away, came to mind, coming back to haunt him like he knew it would when had done it. He hummed at the thought, wondering for a second if perhaps he had done something wrong. 

Rushed through it, overstepped, and caused more harm than good. 

But then thought of how she was fading in and out, how she shaking - so badly - how her skin was like ice - might as well have been a dead body, cold like a corpse. 

Joel nodded his head up and down, convincing himself of what he already knew.

There were lots to feel guilty over, but this couldn’t be one of them. 

Anxiously, he raised his head and met hers, trying to read her face and not her words. Ellie’s expression was one filled with contempt, but her eyes held a completely different story - a kid broken and scared. 

She was hurting, and if the look in her eyes wasn’t enough, the bruises on her face and the blood splatter still staining her complexion were more than enough of a pointed reminder that Joel needed to tread lightly even if she was marching full steam ahead, raging at the world - at him.

She was doing this on purpose, pushing him, but he wouldn’t push her - couldn’t. 

He thought back to before, when he came rushing back into the living room fearing she had slipped away in the few moments he had taken to get the blankets. He remembered the small smile on her face when he made his way into her sights, and how she cracked open his heart with her candid confession:

“I’m always gonna come back.” 

“I like when you do.” 

Centering himself on that memory, and not her screams, Joel ran a hand down the length of his face before brushing it back and forth against the scruff of his beard. He let out a long sigh, a little worried he was about to say the wrong thing. 

 "I had to..." he began, his voice coming out more as a gravelly murmur than anything else. He stopped, swallowed hard, and tried again. "You were freezin’..." he said remorsefully, but pointedly, a statement of fact and an apology, side by side. 

Ellie nodded with a blank expression, purposefully trying to keep her face deadpan. She didn’t remember all that much, but she wasn’t stupid - logically, she knew that’s what happened. 

That hadn’t been the point of bringing it up. 

“You couldn’t do it yourself, so I had’ta.”

“I told you to stop,” she countered.

Truthfully, she still didn’t remember much of the whole ordeal, but bits were coming back slowly. There were some moments, vague, but there, she could use against him if she wanted - paint a certain image, true or not. All she could see was her arms and hands pushing against his, small fists banging against his forearms, yelling at him. 

Her gaze found the fire for a moment, landing on the red and orange licks of flames, just past his shoulder. 

Hands pushing against his, small fists banging against his forearms, red carpet, flames.  

“…I was yelling and you kept going…” she said, almost absently, head somewhere else for a twinkle of a second. 

She gulped down a growing lump in her throat as her eyes quickly flicked back to Joel, and with a few blinks cleared the images of him away. 

Joel opened his mouth to reply but shut it quickly, giving her a nod instead. She wasn’t wrong, but she wasn’t right either. 

In the very back of Ellie’s head, a small voice was screaming at her to not be an idiot. To stop whatever this was, now, before she took it too far. That he wasn’t him. That this is leftover aggression stuck inside, threatening to ruin something good. 

But she couldn’t. 

Her jaw clenched tighter as her eyes went hard and steely. Her head was really starting to throb again, and the hot feeling that had been in her gut was now starting to travel up her body, making her throat tight as it also ushered in a bit of nausea. 

She was seething so much that she was making herself sick from the intensity of it all. And for what?

She wiggled in her seat, hands going to grip the sides of the couch, knuckles going white, as she lowered her head to stare at the floor, wondering why he wasn’t getting mad like she thought he would.

“I know, you were..” Joel confirmed, hoping that not denying, or trying to belittle it would somehow make this better for her. 

He was able to see her demeanor going colder and colder with every moment she sat on the couch, coming to slow a boil like a pot on a stove.  Part of him did want to defend himself and go toe to toe with her - it was only natural - but a bigger part of him just wanted to gather her up in another hug and just never let go. Make her emotions quell, stop the roiling. 

"I know what your doin'..." he said, shaking his head, "I know you don't mean what you're sayin’."

"I - ah ..," Ellie stuttered, not expecting to be called out. ”Asshole," she said, trying to recover, albeit not strongly, before tumbling along, words spilling from her mouth.  “You’re an asshole, and you - if you gave a shit about me then, you wouldn’t have -“

“- Hey now…“ Joel interjected quickly, a grovel in his voice clearly revealing that his calm exterior was cracking away, her words now hitting him with a certain potency.  Ellie’s voice trailed off at the sound of his, focus going to watching the change in his body language, his shoulders tensing, eyes moving away, hand rubbing at his thigh. 

Of course, he gave a shit about her. After everything? 

She really wasn’t making this easy, and now the underlying guilt that still coursed in his veins - that was practically a part of him now - even though he knew it was misplaced - was turning to frustration, and frustration into precarious anger. 

And Ellie knew it too, and now she couldn’t hold back. She wanted to pry that spark of anger from behind his eyes and ignite it. Light it on fire like that fucking restaurant. 

“Would you have done that to Sa-“

“Enough.” Joel spat, jaw tight, eyes hard. 

Sarah. 

It was a low blow, even for Ellie.  

His heart was thumping in his chest, whooshing in his ears. He knew where the sentence was going the minute, it was coming out of her, and he couldn’t let it stand. He had sidestepped what she had been insulting the entire time - the dark impropriety of it all - because it was just so far from the truth that it wasn’t even worth playing into. But now, bring up something like that, almost accusing him, with his daughter…no. It crossed a line. 

With a deep inhale, Joel pushed himself off the chair the pain of it all buried monetarily under his own indignation, only a small wince escaping. The old wood creaked under him, the sound echoing the tension in the room. With a slow-paced stride, his leather boots thudded against the floor, the rhythmic sound resonating through the still air, each deliberate step echoing ominously. His fists were balled tightly as he sad and his face stern. 

Ellie watched as he got closer, content that she had finally pushed him over the edge. 

She hated herself, but not just for this. 

Coming to a still directly in front of her, he lowly began, “You don’t-,” he dragged in a long breath, “you don’t bring her anywhere in this….that ain’t right, and you know it.” 

His intention wasn’t to be intimidating - just firm, but standing above her as he was, was a little bit menacing.  Ellie gave him a slow nod, eyes looking forward, not up towards him. Her quickening pulse was echoing in her ears, mouth getting a little watery with apprehension.

Joel looked anywhere but down towards her, not wanting to show her any more anger than he already had let slip out. His fingers ran against his palms, still tightly screwed together, as his eyes wandered around the area behind the couch, scanning the kitchen, hoping to use it mundanity as a means to steady himself. 

Exhaling through his nose, Joel took a long step back, and then another away, turning his back toward Ellie. 

God, bringing his Sarah up like that, now. What was she thinkin’?

Drawing his head up to the ceiling, he called back to that feeling in his gut when he woke up alone in the basement. That feeling in his chest, when he thought he was about to find her body a the end of a trail of blood. That feeling in his heart, when she fell into his arm, scared as all hell. 

He shook his head. Ellie was his too. 

An oppressive silence stretched between them, the weight of unsaid words becoming almost palpable as Joel swayed back and forth on the balls of his feet, debating what to say, how to carry on. It was clear she was just lashing out, generally, but he couldn't let it all slide. Not that easily.

"Trauma ain't a hall pass" - Tommy told him that once. 

Sucking in a final long breath, hands going to his hips, Joel turned to face Ellie. 

“I know I wasn’t there. But I got to eyes. And I know somethin’ happened to you. And if this is  - was? - you tryin’ to make sense about that then, fine. Spit whatever you want at me, okay? Hit me, yell at me, I don’t care…I’ll take it.. I deserve that…cause that’s on me for leaving you alone.”  His voice was eerily steady, low, and coarse like how Ellie knew it when he was barking orders at her, way back at the beginning of their journey together. The tenderness that he had exhibited since coming back together seemed to be gone, even though his words painted a different picture. For better of worse, this was the Joel she knew. 

“But listen to me. I’m serious Ellie - Listen here.” Joel waited for Ellie to look up and meet his eyes. When she did so, he continued.  “Sarah stays far out of it.” 

Ellie didn’t make a move, a little stunned by the way he seemed to have his emotions under control, especially after she had expected so much more.  

He was going to end it at that, but a nagging voice in the back of his head told him he might as well dot all his ‘I’s and cross his ’T’s too. 

“And to be clear, I didn’t do anythin’, would never, do anythin’ to you- like what you were getting at.. makes me sick just thinking about it,” his tone was serious, yet his words danced around the hard topic like he wasn’t confident using the real words for it. His mouth turned down as the thought of it stayed in his brain, festering for a moment before fading out. 

The look in his eyes had Ellie swallowing back some guilt, tears even beginning to prick at her waterline again. 

Joel's hand came to his neck, rubbing away the much-accumulated tension, while looking around the room to search for something else to focus on. His eyes landed on her again - how could they not - and he paused. Blood, bruises, brewing with anger. He could fix some of that.

His eyes went to the pot of water still resting on the coffee table after all this time and then over toward the hallway.

He cleared his throat. “Now, I’m gonna go see if there ain’t something around here to clean you up with.”

It’s said with genuine care, but it's not hard to read that perhaps it’s also a distraction - a misdirection- to take away from the fraught way the conversation had come to a close.

Joel scooted past the couch with a slight limp, heading toward the hallway and out the room, leaving Ellie sitting alone.

[shitouttabuck]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @thewolvesof1998 thank u bud i’m procrastinating packing and this was fun

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

seven!

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

129,484 which is a fake number to me

3. what fandoms do you write for?

nothing has made me as insane in my life as network television procedural drama 911 on abc, so

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you can start a family who will always show you love

let the world have its way with you

my hearts over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance

like a dog with a bird at your door

i like the summer rain (i like the sounds you make)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try very hard to because they make me so happy and it’s unbelievably kind of people to take the time to leave them!!! However i sometimes leave it too long and then worry it’s weird to reply after like. a month. which as a fic reader i wouldn’t give a shit about so idk what my problem is!!!! i will reply i will just maybe take a hot sec to do it

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t have any i’m a happily ever after or bust kinda guy in my own head if nowhere else…… angstiest is probably the sound of love astounds me if only because it ends post-feelings realisation but still pre-relationship

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they’re all so happy omg. i will say with great personal bias it’s my heart’s over-pumping but also i have. a sequel in the works….

8. do you get hate on fics?

no people have been very very very lovely but also sjjsjsjs i’ve not been here super long. the funniest comment i’ve gotten was on my first fic where someone was like i liked this but it is jarringly inaccurate as mcdonald’s in california doesn’t have a veggie burger option 😭 i cried laughing im so sorry to u americans. pls petition your local mcdonald’s to stock the mcplant it slaps

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

have written two e-rated fics….. it’s very fun but i don’t think i’m very good so i’d like to practice actually (maybe some sexy prompts after i finish the bed-sharing ones?) just the regular kind for now like i love buck and eddie desperately and am myself into a million things but i don’t know how kinky they would actually get in my own head. so just a little gross with it for now i guess

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no that would be SICK. @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove is podficcing bucket list fic which is so very cool of her!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no omg i don’t know how y’all do it i’m bad at group projects but also this sounds soooooo fun. if also deeply stressful

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

if that’s synonymous with most likely to get you institutionalised, uh. gestures around us. otherwise mulder/scully and i am just now right as i’m typing this realising i’ve never ever in my life actually read x files fic what the fuck. also steve/bucky but i haven’t read fic since 2017 probably

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

listen i have not written a word for x files au past that one snip i shared forever ago. i want to soooo bad i’ve talked about it to some of you very rabidly but. it does not want to be written and if it did it would have to be so fucking long which is very daunting to me. not saying i’ve put her in the ground yet but. we might need some necromancing

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at writing in character? mostly? sometimes i struggle with buck just because i think we’re very similar and i project a little and then have to go back and fix it lmao but for the most part i think i’m good at that! and i have a lot of fun writing dialogue

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

plot!!!!!! and pacing!!!!!!!!!!! also my inability to write non-linearly omg if i get stuck i just get Stuck i can’t jump ahead

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

oooh i love it and would love to include more than the teeniest bits i have but i’m so conscious about it sounding natural and not stiff to people whose language it actually is (shout out and a million kisses to @eddiebabygirldiaz for fixing the spanish in i love you like a dog!!!!!)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

911 babey!

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance !!! not just because it was the first fic i posted after joining tumblr fandom but. idk it is so so so special to me like it makes me so happy and when i think about it i’m like. hey u wrote that. good for u my dude. and also maybe i just associate it with meeting a bunch of you whjsjssjsj

tagging @callaplums @eddiebabygirldiaz @housewifebuck @rewritetheending @try-set-me-on-fire @onward--upward @anxieteandbiscuits @devirnis @athenagranted if anyone wants to do this i’m nosy soz if you already have !!!!

[gibbearish]

it is with a heavy heart that i must announce. the five nights at freddy's movie was really good

sorry for how much of a behemoth this post is im fnaf autism just bear with me also i can't keep my thoughts straight for the life of me so this will be a bumpy ride. as an additional note i got very lucky and had literally 0 spoilers whatsoever for this movie, i haven't even seen the trailer

so first of all: i thought all the changes they made to the plot to make it work for a movie were good decisions, altho some of them did take a minute to actually feel like good changes lmao. once i thought about em a bit more though they made sense.

one of the things i really liked was that they also did include a lot of the things i wanted them to, or more specifically things that you're like "you literally can't have a fnaf movie without these, it just wouldn't be right", like we got mike schmidt, we got fucking VANESSA??? altho she might be in the trailer so that might not be the same reveal for yall as it was for me but still. they heavily alluded to vanny? (altho that's a part i'm kinda sad abt is they didn't /actually/ include vanny, vanessa just makes an offhand comment about how she "wouldn't be much help" if she was around afton and then. comes to help anyways and doesnt have any issues? lame they shouldve had him hypnotise her and then she fought her way out to help mike and abby. or alternatively they couldve used the family restructuring to make vanny be a result of afton giving vanessa osdd-2, like thats kinda functionally what he does with the mask anyways but this would make it more obvious).

also swinging back to changes they made that i liked!! VANESSA AFTON?? like this is the one that took me a while to get used to bc it feels like such a cliche from an outside perspective but it also kind of Super Isn't considering what the original plot is? like all the family restructuring they did makes pretty good sense to me, i do think it loses a bit of the weight having michael be Just Some Guy Whose Brother Happened To Be Kidnapped By Afton Forever Ago and now coincidentally has this weird guy offering him a job as a night guard, but also the og lore. absolutely would not fit into a movie lmao. so i like that they kept the characters everyone wanted around while also rearranging it to keep the spirit of "learning about all of this for the first time through the eyes of a security guard" you get from playing the games. it's fun for people who don't know the lore because it's easy to follow and it's fun for people who /do/ know the lore because they can pull apart all the differences.

oh right back to things they included that i wanted them to. we gotttt chica's cupcake murdering people, we got FUCKING MATPAT? SAYING THE ITS JUST A THEORY LINE? SOUNDING THRILLED OFF HIS ASS TO BE THERE??? i dont like the man and his opinions vis a vis addressing nonbinary characters but. goddamn was that a funny cameo. why couldnt you include markiplier too you fucking cowards. who said that. anyways. oh we kind of tangentially have a canon name for crying child? aka garrett? like idk this one could go either way because like. yeah he's mike's younger brother that died tragically and scarred him for life, makes sense that theyd be the same character in function but also it is technically a different family so who knows.

umm what else. oh this doesnt rlly fall into either category i just really liked it, the intro sequence for all the animatronics? showing what they can /really/ do with the breaking and entering dudes?? that was such a cool sequence i really liked the whole thing honestly. chica being introduced in the kitchen and the dude finding the cupcake then looking back and it's gone? bonnie in the supply closet? foxysprint??? AND FREDDY!! THE BITE!!! in case anyones reading this before watching the movie so they know what to expect: youll know when this moment is coming and if youre watching it at home with friends i HIGHLY recommend having the "was that the bite of 87" clip ready to play right after, they WILL lose their shit. i had it queued up from the very beginning of the movie cause i was like. they can't not include it /somehow/, it's the fnaf movie there has to be A Bite. and sure enough. oh also it's not at the same time but the golden freddy reveal is really good too, they did a good job of setting it up so even if youre already aware of golden freddy conceptually you still go "oh freddy's here? i mean i guess that makes sense he's the leader and all. or wait what happened to his eye why's he only got one? oh. oh i see. ohohohohohohohoho" 100/10. also very funny that they just straight up. MURDER THE AUNT? AND SHE NEVER GETS MENTIONED AGAIN SHE JUST IS DEAD??? the kid isnt like. hey what happened to aunt jane?? i get none of them liked her and with good reason but youd think at least one of em would be like "damn she sucked but she didnt deserve that, rip jane"

oh and the springlocks of course the springlocks. like as soon as we saw aftons name in the cast list we all knew he was gonna get springlocked, it's such a cherished memory for so many of us and there's no way in hell The Fnaf Movie™ wouldnt include afton getting springlocked, they just legally can't leave that out. and they do it pretty well too like yeah if you know what's gonna happen you can see it coming way ahead of time and it's kind of a slow crawl to get there but like. idk i think it still works pretty well. i don't personally like how long the actual springlocking itself took, i think they couldve milked that a little bit less cause i was under the impression that if one springlock failed they All Would Instantaneously And Your Flesh Body Will Become Occupied By A Full Endoskeleton. but no we just get very slow rib beartrap. w/e though still cool and again the leadup to it was really good even knowing exactly how it would end, like just the really slow shuffling of the animatronics towards him? like yeah it's slow and kinda tedious but its also like. theres literally nothing you can do, youre surrounded and defenseless and theyre infinitely faster and stronger than you and now they remember that you killed them. and you just have to sit there and watch them slowly slowly get closer all while trying to talk your way out of it knowing youre fucked. 10/10 they did that part well

oh and that also falls under changes i liked, i liked that instead of "afton tries to escape intangible ghosts by getting into old decrepit suit which then fails and kills him" it was "afton was already in the suit to do murders in and has brainwashed the bots to follow him" wait omg point postponed i just realized that part is from security breach. i thought vanessa was the only thing they brought over from that i didnt even notice that they werent doing the theyre-attacking-all-adults-indiscriminately thing goddamn. omg wait and the fact that the restaurants already closed in this one, it really is just a blend of all the games huh. scott do you see how much more coherent your plot couldve been if there wasnt So much going on. anyways. back to what i was saying. instead of "afton tries to escape intangible ghosts by getting into old decrepit suit which then fails and kills him" it was "afton was already in the suit to do murders in and brainwashed the ghosts into thinking he was their friend so they would help him do murders while possessing the robots. then they get their memories back and the robots turn on him and.. i think deliberately? set off the springlocks, or were just aiming to regular kill him and the springlocks failing was a happy accident? then the robots drag him away as they keep slowly one by one collapsing into him", like the first one made a lot of sense for the game and the timeline and the second one just feels right for this too. it's still his hubris that kills him, still his springlocks, it's just in one version the hubris is "trusting his springlock design to still work after however many years" and in the other its "thinking he has conplete control over the ghosts he killed", plus the ghosts finally get a bit more direct participation in his death than in the other version lol.

one change i did not like. forced het romance. like i dunno i guess im happy for them, both of those characters have certainly earned happy endings by this point so its nice they can get something cutesy. but also. like cmon man it's vanessa and mike do we have to do this she just got stabbed stop holding her hand

oh also this change wasnt really good or bad i just thought it was funny, vanessas a full on cop now? like i get they prolly just dont wanna have two security guards or something but i mean. it wouldve been really easy to just say she was the day shift guard? thatd explain why she had more information on the bots and the place's history than him, why she's always Around, it wouldve even flowed into the vanessa afton reveal pretty well too because like. yeah obviously a guy doing murders would want his main security guard to be someone he trusts and who better than his theoretically brainwashed daughter yknow? as it was she just kinda Showed Up Knowing Stuff And Ignoring Questions and later afton's like "you were supposed to be keeping an eye on him" but like of course Mike was getting dodgy about the weirdo cop loitering nearby for no reason, thats sus as hell lmao. vs "experienced security guard here to show you the ropes" he would have a much easier time trusting that she actually did have his best interests at heart. idk it just seemed like a weird change to me lmao

ummm oh my roommate pointed out the fact that when they tried to springlock abby the suit they were aiming for looked suspiciously like circus baby and abby and baby are anagrams so thats fun. it's hard to tell though if shes intended to be a rework of elizabeth or if vanessa's filling that role now. cause like on the one hand, michael's younger sister whose name is v close to baby, on the other hand, vanessa is afton's daughter. so idk i feel like it could go either way. if abby's elizabeth i guess that negates the thing about garret maybe being crying child's name bc then theyd prolly just be keeping mike's name the same. w/e

oh my god i completely forgot when i was talking about changes to the afton springlock thing, they had him deliberately put his mask on after the other springlocks started releasing and say the "i always come back" line, i thought that was an excellent touch. like he's actively dying a horrific death and is like. no no. im not leaving this bot. this shit is going to suck ass no matter what so i might as well do all i can to ENSURE my soul gets locked in this fuckin thing, go on stab me in the brain lets do this. i will however also say that having him say "i always come back"... before he's even come back the first time? is a little bit weird, i know thats another one of the "we have to include this in the fnaf movie" things so im not mad but just in the moment it def flows a bit weird. like mf you don't even have one example of that yet much less several to be saying "always" about

OH AND THE BIGGEST ONE. THE ANIMATRONICS. theyre so good. like im so glad they went all in on that, i think they probably knew that if there was one single thing they had to get absolutely 100% right to avoid a fan uprising it was those and by god did they deliver, theyre so big and so unsettling and so fun. chica's wink at abby was the best part of the movie no questions asked. or alternatively bonnie falling over after they built the fort. like theyre all just so good. OH MY GOD OR IN CHICA'S INTRODUCTION SEQUENCE WHERE YOU CAN SEE HER JUST. SCOOTING BY THROUGH THE VENT?? THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING OF ALL TIME HELLO???

god. but yeah i was honestly expecting it to be a lot worse than it was. also this mike is a bad brother/dad figure. but i guess in the games he also kind of is the pinnacle of bad brother so i mean it couldve been a lot worse. theres definitely some rough parts, i mightve mentioned this already but i felt like a few of the dramatic pause things were a bit too drawn out, like i said the springlocks locking is one good example of that but another that i REALLY found slow was like. in the opening we watch a guy get turbomurdered by the swirly blade mask and it takes. way longer than i feel like was necessary. also unnecessary: a jumpcut a second from scared eyes to swirly blades to hands fumbling and repeating during that. oh another thing that was weird to me, why was mike so insistent on sleeping specifically at night? to the point of deliberately sleeping on the job? like i get he wanted to revisit the kidnapping dream but like. presumably he could dream just as well during the day, no? done his night shift then once it was up rolled out a sleeping bag for a quick powernap before heading home? idk that just felt. forced to me

more random things, i am sad we didnt get a whiff of henry emily (my fringe theory was that their twist to change it from the games was they were gonna make henry be evil, rip to that idea) or the puppet/charlie, and kinda sad they changed the kid possessing golden freddy to be a boy like. we love cassidy and her Undying Rage Towards Afton's Soul smh why would you get rid of her. also loved balloon boy, kinda wish mangle had gotten like a similar level appearance but thats w/e. oh also while i did appreciate the low gore level there were also a few times where it was a bit weird how minor the injuries the dead people had were. like this man just had his face put in a blender mask and he just has like. some forehead gashes or whatever? he should look like someone stirred up jello

anyways with that gross thought i think i am out of things to say about the movie for now. if anyone else watched it already and somehow read all of this blease tell me your thoughts

[megatownac]

The queue is empty, and it's been a little over four years since that happened. The last time, it's because I was on a two-week trip to Japan. This time, it's because I've quit playing New Horizons.

I stopped playing on September 22, on Ankha's birthday, because I wanted to celebrate that one last time before I put the game down. Since then, I've regained half an hour each day by not playing, and another twenty minutes by not queueing up posts after I got through my backlog on October 1. So it's been about 23 days of having an extra 50 minutes.

I'd been playing for nearly a year for no reason other than to keep getting fuel for posts. It wasn't fun on its own anymore.

I started this blog in September 2013, 10 years and 1 month ago. Since then, I've written over 22,000 posts in just about 3700 days.

When I started this blog, the Animal Crossing world was a lot more active. I made friends with people like @toysleaf and @vivinzenz. I would visit people's towns, and they would visit mine. As years went on, that faded. The blog got a little bit bigger. Just barely, barely big enough that I had to get cautious about what I wrote. I cut out all swearing and off-color jokes. I stopped asking people for things. I made sure never to reveal my political leanings, or my thoughts on current events. It wasn't my place, I thought, and was grateful that nobody asked me to weigh in. I eventually became isolated in my little world, not reblogging anything from anybody, ever, and hoping that maybe eventually some silly joke I made would get viral enough to…

To what, exactly? It's not like I ever made money doing this, and I'd all but given up on making friends. I was just doing it out of habit, out of a drive to see if I could get my follower count to go up. It didn't. I hit the 1500-follower mark back in 2016 or 2017 and never got higher than 1595. My silly jokes, my constant barrage of snarky comments about my day-to-day life, simply weren't popular with some imaginary mainstream Animal Crossing tumblr fandom that stopped existing well before New Horizons came out.

There's still an Animal Crossing fandom out here, of course. Just not one that follows blogs like mine. Do something impressive: create some art, or crochet something, or even design a cool home. Things I was not doing. Things I did not want to do.

I'd like to get back to enjoying Animal Crossing. To playing the game for fun. To playing it with other people, and making friends. But that won't happen right now. It can't.

Remember, I've been doing this for over 10 years. I was in my late twenties when I STARTED this blog, and I knew very well that I was one of the oldest people on Tumblr posting Animal Crossing content. My forties are not far off. I'm old. I feel out of place and weird posting my silly little jokes here when I know that most of the people reading them, and there aren't many who do, are probably quite a bit younger than I am. It's a kid's game, and that's fine. But I'm not a kid, and I'm not posting anything truly creative. Just blogging. Just starting up my game each morning to run around and gather fossils and hit rocks and talk to any islanders I see and snapping dozens of screenshots so I can post them on Tumblr at a rate of 4 or more posts each day.

This isn't goodbye forever. I'm just going on break for now. When something changes, I'll be back.

In the meantime, my main blog, @ratralsis, was active before this one started and is still active. I'm going to try to write there a little more often now that I'm not posting here each day, but we'll see, I guess.

As for here, I don't know what I might be posting here in the next few months. Maybe nothing. Maybe I'll start reblogging things again for the first time in, what, six years? Seven years? I don't know. A long time.

I'm not saying I will. Just that I maybe will. Maybe I won't!

Either way, take care of yourself, and remember that I'm still around and, one way or another, will continue writing on the internet until I am physically unable. I've been doing so since 2001 or so and have never stopped. I've been Ratralsis since 2002 and I needed a name to write on a friend's website (the website is long gone now). As far as I know, I'm either the only Ratralsis out there or the other people with that name don't show up on Google, so, as of today, at least, if you see a Ratralsis out there complaining about Best Buy on Twitter or leaving comments on YouTube videos or posting in the forums on Flight Rising, that's me.

That's all for now.

[spencessmile]

Conversations In The Bullpen

Pairing - BAU x Fem!Reader

Summary - You and the team exchange stories from past and present times.

Warnings - Fluff, Swearing & slightest mention of injury and talks about clowns.

Word Count - 1.6k

And all imagines/fanfics/blurbs are written solely by me so please don't steal my work and/or post it without my consent. Feedback and Comments are welcome. Happy reading!

Requests are CLOSED!

**

“What about you Y/n?” You hear Morgan’s voice as you finish up your last report, adding it to the finished pile. You slide your chair towards his desk, Morgan’s foot stopping it before it hit Garcia’s legs. “Craziest thing you saw or dealt with in LA before you quit your job as a cop? Go.”

“Oh, um,” You chuckle. “I could probably go on forever. A lot of weird shit happens in LA.”

“Top 3?”

“Top 3? Okay, first I had a case where a woman killed her husband because he refused to leave their cottage in her name. When my partner and I investigated we found out that she buried him within the walls of their house.”

“Oh my god, no!” Garcia groans.

“Second has to be when I had my right hand inside a man’s chest for nine hours. He was in a really bad car accident and he wouldn’t have made it to the hospital in time so I had to open him up in the middle of the street in order to stop him from bleeding out.”

“That sounds so cool,” Emily beamed, her chin resting on her right hand.

“There goes my dinner,” Garcia spoke.

“His sternum was severely messed up which caused his heart and one of his big blood vessels to start bleeding into his stomach.”

“Wow! It sounds just like that episode from Grey's Anatomy where Meredith had her hand inside that guy's chest. Remember the one who had the bomb inside him? How did it feel to have your hand in someone’s chest?”

“One of my favourite episodes. Uh, it was umm sor- It was bloody and it got worse,” You shrug. “I passed out on the OR floor.” You chuckle thinking about the whole situation and how ridiculous it sounds saying it out loud.

Morgan and Emily crack up laughing as you shake your head. “Yeah, I remember that whole week being so chaotic but that took the cake.”

“Third?” Spencer asks.

“Oh, this one is top on my list. In 2016, there were killer clowns on the loose in Los Angeles.”

“Nah uh. Nope!” Morgan shakes his head as you notice him tense up at the mention of clowns.

“Morgan has coulrophobia,” JJ said giggling at Morgan.

“What really?” You asked, JJ nodded.

“Oh yeah, Morgan’s not a fan of Halloween, people in costumes or masks.”

“Listen,” Morgan put his hand out. “Costumes and masks give me the hibbie jibbies. Just no.”

“Hey everyone knows you're terrified of clowns but no one here knows why exactly you're terrified of them. What’s the story behind clowns?” Emily asks.

Morgan puts five fingers up. “I had evil older cousins.”

“Oh!!” Everyone laughs.

“Morgan,” You pat his shoulder. “I was traumatized by my older cousins too but don’t worry their all going to hell.”

“I just don’t like the way they look, with the red nose, and all that face paint and masks,” Morgan explains.

“You know the fear of clowns usually stems from the feeling of not knowing what’s going on underneath the mask or costume,” You still remember the words of your captain.

“I just don’t care. If I were to see a clown I will hands down punch it.” Garcia and you just laugh at how passionately Morgan seemed about his hate for clowns.

“2016 was a fucking weird year for LA. It started out as a harmless prank but people just took it too far. I think the LAPD arrested close to 2,000 clowns,” You sounded so ridiculous saying this out loud.

“I just glad weird fucking shit doesn’t happen here in Washington.”

“What would you do if a clown showed up at your apartment?” Spencer asked as

Morgan glared at him. “Why would you ever say such a thing?” Morgan spat, getting upset. “I’d probably kick its ass.”

“Morgan you're scared of like,” Emily waves her hand around. “Everything.” She laughs. “Remember that case we had NYC, and it was Halloween? You were so annoyed that people had decorations up.”

“Oh,” JJ faces lights up. “I remember that and the woman's husband who we were trying to find had a cage full of birds! Morgan, you were terrified of those birds!”

“Okay, can we not do this right now?!” Morgan looked annoyed.

“What’s your problem with birds?” You ask.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well, actually one time Mor-”

“Baby girl, don't you dare say a word!” Morgan warns her as Garcia puts her hands up.

“Hey! That’s not fair, how come Garcia knows the story but not the rest of us?” Emily asks.

“That’s because I was there,” Garcia sips her tea, looking over at you.

“What type of person is scared of birds?” Spencer asks, shaking his head as Morgan sat up in his chair.

“Reid, Reid don’t move but there’s a spider on your shoulder!” Morgan yells as Spencer jumps up from his chair, violently wiping his shoulder.

“GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! EMILY!!” Spencer continues to move around as you all lose it watching Spencer running around frantically.

“Emily, is it gone?!” He asks, as Emily is holding onto her sides, JJ leaning into her as Garcia was wiping away tears. Morgan's face was tomato red from laughing as you felt like you couldn’t breathe. “Guys! This isn’t funny! Is it gone? Where is it? Please, ser-” You could hear the panic in Spencer’s voice.

“Spencer!” You called. “There was nothing there,” You say, giggling.

“What?”

“Morgan was just pulling your leg,” You playfully smack the back of Morgan’s head as he continues to laugh at Spencer distraught condition. Spencer glares over at Morgan as he grabs the small hand exercise ball off his desk and throws it, hitting Morgan in the face. Everyone bursts out laughing.

“What was that for?”

“For what you just did to me,” Spencer says, putting a hand on his chest.

“Why are you scared of spiders, pretty boy?” Morgan questions.

“I just don’t like them. All their legs and fu-” Spencer shutters at the thought of them.

“Did I ever tell one time Spen-”

“Morgan don’t!”

“Spencer called me over one time because there was a spider on his bedroom ceiling. When I got to his apartment, he was wearing doughnut and smiley faces boxers while trying to kill a spider with a mop.”

“Shut up, your lying!” Emily looks over at Spencer.

“That didn’t actually happen,” Spencer’s face was flushed red with embarrassment.

“Didn’t it?” Morgan holds out his phone, playing a video of Spencer trying to kill the spider.

“This is the best thing ever!” Emily exclaimed.

“YOU MADE A VIDEO?!” Spencer shrieked.

“And I’m not ashamed to admit that I watch it at least twice a day because that video right there is pure gold, baby!” Morgan cheers.

“Who else have you shown that to?” Spencer asked.

“Oh just you guys,” Morgan replies. “My sisters.”

“Oh my god.”

“My mom loved your smiley face and doughnut boxers.”

“YOU SHOWED THIS VIDEO TO YOUR MOM?!” Spencer exclaimed as Garcia kept replaying to the part where Spencer runs behind Morgan.

“Look at his face!” She yells as you and Emily grabbed onto each other from laughing so hard.

“One thing is for sure after watching this video,” JJ says. “Both Spencer and Morgan radiate so much chaotic energy off each other.”

“Yes!” You say, giving her a high five.

“Hey Y/n, did I ever tell you about the time Morgan showed up at my apartment drunk?” Spencer asks and you shake your head. “While wearing nothing but briefs.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh you wouldn’t!” Morgan threatens.

“Watch me!” Spencer leans over and whispers in your ear.

“OH MY GOD MORGAN! You look over at him. “Seriously?”

“What’s going on out here?” You hear a deep voice from behind you, turning around you see Hotch walking down the catwalk.

“How come I didn’t know about Morgan's dirty past?” You ask, folding your arm. Without even asking Hotch knew exactly what you were referring to.

“I’m unfriending you all,” Morgan points to everyone as Garcia leans into him, giggling.

“Everyone here knows a little bit too much about Morgan’s sex life,” Hotch points out.

“Hotch, not you too man,” Morgan groans.

Hotch leaned against Emily’s desk as he looks around at you all teasing and laughing with each other. Though Hotch could hear the laughter from his office, he couldn’t help but walk out and join the chaos. It was times like this, that Hotch was beyond thankful to have you all apart of his life. He could always count on you guys to add the sweet and spice to your guy's solemn life.

“What are you all still doing here? Your shift ended half hour ago,” Hotch looks down at his clock.

“Oh shoot!” JJ said, quickly grabbing her bag. “I gotta pick up Henry from my moms.” She bid her goodbyes and headed out.

“What about the rest of you? Don’t have any plans?”

“I have a date but that’s not until Wednesday,” Morgan says as you all just stare blankly at him. “At 7pm.” You smirk at him. “What?”

“Today is Wednesday you dumbass,” You said. “You just stood up your date by a half-hour.”

“Oh shit!” Morgan scrambled for his things, beelining for the elevator. “If I don’t get laid tonight, it’s all your guy's fault and drinks are on you guys for a whole month!” He yells behind him.

“Twenty bucks say his date going to cuss him off for being late, leaving him hanging,” You say.

“Forty bucks say that Morgan is going to get laid and that we’re all going to hear about over coffee tomorrow morning,” Hotch said dropping forty bucks on the table, walking away leaving you all in shock.

[seddm]

What did you think of Amphibia finale? Also, are you a sashannarcy stan?

SPOILERS FOR AMPHIBIA'S FINALE BELOW

(I'll answer the Sashannarcy part of the question tomorrow in another post, because this one is already long enough as it is)

I liked it, some days ago I talked about some of my (largely subjective, based on personal preferences and not the quality of the episode itself) issues with it, but subsequent tweets by the creator largely pacified my troubled spirit.

As for the a more objective comment on the finale, so without going once again over what I talked about in the post linked above, it's a solid finale. All In is probably the better episode, compared to The Hardest Thing, from an all around point of view. The 48 minutes duration allowed it to have a good pacing, fitting in several stories in parallel giving almost all characters involved their moment of payoff. Also, it's an entirely positive episode, by the end of it everyone is better than they were at the beginning - emotionally , can't say the same for the physical part...

This doesn't mean the actual last episode is bad, but it feels more like an epilogue (and it is, after all), with the very first part of the episode rushing things at a breakneck pace. This helps the sense of urgency, but takes a lot out of scenes such as the three girls meeting Valeriana and getting their full powers.

The anime fight is wonderful and the animest thing to ever happen in a Disney show for sure, even if some frames looked sliiightly off model or wonkier, at least compared to the high budget scenes in All In. Still, way above the network standard. You can see how carefully crafted the animatic is here.

The Core's defeat felt slightly anticlimactic, in a way, despite how powerfully emotional the scenes leading to it were. Personally, I don't mind it. By now The Core was little more than a symbol (it had always been but especially after Darcy), a final clash between a force of change, and something that was ready to destroy everything to live forever in its own little digital world. The actual challenge Anne had to overcome was choosing to sacrifice herself and the gems, not the fight itself: the foe becomes irrelevant against the power of her determination.

The god part, a bit weird. The lore surrounding the gems had always been vague, so it fits in a way, but the little references to the olms, Valeriana, the temples spread over the series made me hope for something more "concrete". Still, thematically, the gems being a test fits perfectly, and after all we already knew that the crux of the prophecy revolved around morals more than anything else. And, on this subject, I loved the interpretation of the prophecy as a "call for help", as put by Mother Olm, which explains the existence of the Temples, a way for the warriors to say "no thank you" and give up their gifts and destiny. It's not like the Stones Deity forces anyone to do anything, after all. They're not a jerk.

Also, I don't care for the whole Anne Clone not Clone discourse. If a god tells someone they're sending them back to live their life, I don't ask question and accept they're the same person: soul, consciousness, the whole package.

I'm not going over Anne death, the scenes with Sprig, the goodbyes, because they're all wonderful and excellent and borderline emotional manipulation and I hate it. I would have liked something more between Andrias and Marcy, but finding a good balance was necessarily going to be hard. Can't make it look like Andrias' actions meant nothing to Marcy, can't dedicate multiple minutes to it either. The simple goodbye we got, with Andrias' almost tearing eyes, works very well. I'm entirely satisfied by the way Andrias' redemption and story were handled as a whole, a wonderful character (but I'd have loved him anyway, with Keith David's voice).

Pity the show was kinda forced to acknowledge the lack of Marcy's development outside Anne and Sasha, but that's consistent with her personal flaws, as she herself says. Just makes her relationship with Yunan and Olivia feel less powerful than the others. Guess she gets in complexity (with Andrias) what she lacks in intensity compared to Anne and Sasha with their respective amphibian companions.

I already said what I had to about the epilogues and the timeskips... and that's outdated since, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, Matt's tweets seem (keyword, phrasing can be vague and ambiguous) to promise a sizeable amount of sugar in Marcy's soon-to-be-published journal, ready to sweeten part of the bitterness of the finale. But I can already say that the aged up designs are excellent. Polly in particular is fantastic (you can see alternative designs here), oozes personality. As a rule of thumb, I'm not a fan of large timeskips as a way to end a series, "I learned to love the characters with the designs they had for 99% of the show, and then they change at the very end, the last scenes we'll ever see?". But the Calamity Trio adult designs are very good, and I got mostly used to them immediately. Sasha might look a bit older than she's supposed to be, and I preferred Anne with bigger, dumb, expressive eyes, but that's extreme nitpicking.

Most of this post is nitpicking for the sake of it.

All in all, a good and bold finale to a tight series that, even with its flaws (possibly in not small part magnified by the limitations of a Disney cartoon), featured an incredibly likeable cast. And a lot of tears.

[markberries]

what we do in the dark┊draco malfoy

• anon requested: Hey! If you do story requests can I get draco and yn in a secret relationship (yn is also slytherin but muggleborn) and then draco gets tired of hiding, kisses her in public and smut ensues? Thank you in advance love your writing!

• info: having a secret relationship with hogwarts’ troublemaker was difficult, especially when all he wanted was for everyone to know that you were his.

• warnings: cursing, fingering

• genre: fluff, angst if you squint, smut, fem reader

• word count: 2346

• a/n: HOLY CRAP i actually finished a wip!! anyways sorry that i haven’t posted much hp in awhile </333 i hope u guys enjoy!

being a model student was difficult; having the endless stress of keeping your grades above everyone else, the constant studying and time you spent in the library, and most importantly, keeping your relationship with draco malfoy hidden.

it had been 6 months since the day he asked you out, the classic “bad boy” and “nerdy girl” couple, you were surprised by his confession, and he was surprised by your agreement. the secrecy part was a mutual decision, being brought up by you, when someone had told you that hanging around draco was a bad idea.

draco, of course, didn’t mind, for he had a reputation to keep up with his friends, and that is what settled it. you liked it, the sneaking around, the excitement of nearly being caught hiding in the prefect’s bathroom together, it was fun.

in public, you two were rarely seen together. you acted like you didn’t know each other. people never got suspicious; the only thing that could get you two caught was draco’s inability to keep his hands to himself. when guys would hit on you, unbeknownst of the steady relationship you and draco had, it made malfoy’s blood boil. 

he would watch them walk up to you confidently, where you would sit in the dining hall, intently writing notes and eating the nicely placed food that lay in front of you. he would watch your eyes look up to the boy, who would politely ask you on a date. you would decline, saying that you were too busy to date. 

he would lock eyes with you, you would shrug your shoulders and smile at him, but being cautious of the people surrounding you. the only thing that irritated him was the fact that these boys thought they had a chance with you. they thought that the only reason you wouldn’t date them was because you were merely busy, when the truth was that you were taken. by him.

the reason you liked draco was because he made you feel different, like you were taking risks. people used to call you boring, but draco changed that. he thought of you as unique, he liked you for you, and he had never tried to change you. he was just a sweetheart hidden behind his bad boy facade.

“you looked so pretty today,” he whispered to you, arms engulfed around you as you two curled up in his dorm. usually, you would be worried about someone catching a glimpse of you two, but today, you had decided to skip potions class. it was the second time you had ever skipped a class (the first time was also with draco), and people may perceive that it was his influence on you, but you thought differently.

“we didn’t see each other today,” you laugh, pinching his cheek. he winces slightly, before giving you a soft smile.

“yeah, but i know you looked pretty.”

you raise a brow, “oh? what a flirt you are.”

he buried his head in your shoulder, breathing in deeply to get a whiff of your sweet fruity scent, “only for you,” he says, voice muffled by your grey pajama tee.

“mm,” he pauses, entertwining your hands. “the yule ball is coming up.”

you hum, ruffling his hair and offering him a kind smile. “i know.”

“we could attend it.. together.”

“i know,” you kiss his cheek, his cheeks turning a soft shade of pink, “but everyone is gonna be there..”

there’s an evident frown that forms on draco’s face, his thought process remained unknown to you, and there’s a slight pang of guilt that washes over you, after all, you didn’t expect draco to want to sneak around with you forever.

“right,” he clears his throat, turning away to lay on his back, eyes glued to the ceiling. you bite your lip, sitting up and running a hand through his blonde hair. his eyes then stare back at yours, and you offer a pity smile.

“i’m sorry, let me just get through my finals and then we can tell the others, okay?”

there’s a pause of silence, before draco speaks up again.

“are you ashamed of me?”

your expression softens, lying back down and caressing his face, making him turn to you. there was nothing that could make you ashamed of draco, you just didn’t know if you were ready to face lectures from your parents, knowing well enough about them, for dating someone who constantly torments people of the muggleborn status. you wanted to tell them that he was different, that he was capable of accepting people for who they are.

“no, i could never be ashamed of you, you know that,” you reassure, placing a kiss to the tip of his nose. he smiles, brushing a piece of hair out of your face lovingly.

“i know love,” he admires your face for a brief moment, studying your features, “sometimes i just can’t help myself when i’m around you.”

a giggle escapes your lips, followed by a raise of your brow. a grin creeps it’s way upon your face, as malfoy rolls his eyes at your own silliness.

“you’re so weird,” he comments, enveloping you into his arms.

“draco, people are gonna be wondering where we are in the great hall,” you remind him, as the time for dinner approaches. skipping classes together was already risky, not showing up to dinner would be the frosting on the cake.

“alright alright,” he sighs, getting up and picking up his robe that hung from your desk chair. your heart clenches — in a good way, thinking about how it would be like to tell everyone about your relationship.

there were always pros and cons, as you knew there were a few female students who found draco undeniably attractive, and if they were to find out, you knew that you would always be a topic of conversation, but on the contrary, they wouldn’t try to spark up conversations with him. you knew your parents wouldn’t be happy, but you would be able to openly spend time with him, you’d get to kiss him whenever you wanted, and your parents would eventually get used to your situation.

you were torn between two sides, even if you were to tell everyone, what would be the right occasion to share your story? and when was the right time?

you shake your head, snapping out of your own trance.

“you ready, love?” draco asks.

you smile, looking at him and nodding, “yeah.”

—

“hey y/n,” a voice says to you, causing you to stop drinking your water mid sip as you stare up at the culprit.

“cedric,” you say, placing your glass down with a smile. he looks uneasy, nervous even, as he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. cedric had been the first hufflepuff to make contact with you, as no one really engaged with slytherins unless it was to start a harmless argument.

it was a year ago, and he had approached you in hogsmeade, your green scarf in hand, that you had lost an hour before. you had accepted it with a simple smile and a “thank you”, wrapping it around your neck again. he made sure to point out how different you were compared to the other slytherins, even saying that you belonged in ravenclaw or hufflepuff. you laughed it off, being proud of your house and who you were.

“is something wrong?” you ask with a tilted head, his cheeks turn a soft pink while they heat up. he clears his throat, finally looking at you in the eyes.

“do you want to maybe.. be my date to the yule ball? of course, you don’t have to say yes, it’s completely up to you.”

you nearly choke on your own saliva, your eyes widening in surprise. you’re at a loss for words, what should you say to let him down softly? that you’re busy?

“she can’t,” a familiar voice calls out to him, and draco takes a seat next to you confidently. you snap your head towards him, and his jaw is clenched, not a single hint of playfulness in his voice.

“oh? do you already have a date y/n?”

you say in a hushed voice, “draco what do you think you’re doing?”

he doesn’t reply, he merely wraps an arm around your shoulders confidently, eyes locked with cedric’s.

“yeah, me,” he says nonchalantly, and this time, it’s your turn to blush, staring down at the ground intensely. everyone at the slytherin table is paying attention to the conversation, quietly talking amongst each other as they stare at the two boys who are glaring at each other.

cedric scoffs at him, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue and looking away from you two for a moment.

“alright then, see you around, y/n.”

without a word, draco harshly tugs you throughout the hallways, towards the prefect’s bathroom. his expression is unreadable as he lets go of your hand when you two finally arrive at the destination.

“what was that about?” you finally exclaim, more shocked/surprised than angry, but draco takes a step towards you with a huff of frustration.

“i did what i had to do,” he replies, staring down at you with hooded eyes. “unless, you wanted to attend the ball with diggory.”

“you know that i would never do that, i love you,” you say softly, and draco takes another step, your bodies almost touching.

“we’ll just have to show diggory that, then,” malfoy then begins attacking your neck with his lips, pressing you up against the wall with a small thud. he sucks harshly, leaving obvious marks on your hot skin. he trails kisses along your jawline, and your hands find his way to his blonde locks, tangling in them as you let out small whines.

he uses one of his hands to snake its way under your shirt, massaging your left breast. his free hand presses against your clothed core, harshly rubbing to get a reaction out of you, and of course, it worked. you were moaning, all whilst draco hummed against your neck.

you grip at the fabric of his robe, panting heavily as you wrapped your legs around his waist. he places both hands on your ass, carrying you to the nearest surface and setting you on it, the marble feeling cold against your body.

“your moans are like music to my ears,” he says, lust dripping off of his tongue. at this point, you didn’t care if anyone walked in. you wanted draco now, and it didn’t seem like draco wanted to stop either as he eagerly lifted your grey sweater vest above your head, pressing his soft lips against your own.

he removes his robe, carelessly tossing it to the ground and loosening his tie. he slips his tongue into your mouth, harshly sucking on your own, and you knew better than to fight for dominance with him. the heat between your thighs continued to grow, a wet patch forming, and you knew your underwear was done for.

you wrap your arms around draco’s neck, deepening the kiss as he unbuttoned your shirt, leaving you in your black bra, skirt, and pantyhose. he broke the kiss, ogling at your breasts.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer,” you tease him, which was definitely the wrong thing to do.

“what a brat,” he grunts, unhooking your bra and exposing your boobs. he then began pinching your right nipple, making you yelp out in surprise and grab his shoulders for balance.

“got anything else to say?” he asks confidently, and you shake your head.

“fuck you’re hot,” malfoy groans, tugging your skirt and tights down. you kick the articles of clothing off, while draco dips a hand into your panties, collecting the gathered wetness and pulling his hand out to admire it.

“all for me?” he smirks, rubbing his fingers together. you quickly nod your head.

“use your words,” he says.

“y-yes, it’s all for you,” you reply in a small, innocent voice, causing malfoy to shove the fingers that were coated in your wetness into your mouth. you suck on them, making him satisfied. he then takes his other hand pushes your underwear to the side, shoving his slender finger into your entrance without warning.

“oh, ah!” you cry out. he takes the hand that was in your mouth out, using it to grip your face.

“look at me while i finger fuck you.”

unlike usual, he doesn’t start slow. he’s already curling his finger inside you, pumping it in and out at a fast pace. he stares at you with the same dark eyes he had earlier, and you bite your lip to prevent yourself from being too loud.

draco adds another finger, the room being filled with the joyous sound of your pleasure. your breath hitches, and you begin to uncontrollably moan.

“god, i could do this all day,” draco groans, the imprint of his boner beginning to look painful. “who makes you feel like this?”

he adds a third finger, making you arch your back in euphoria from the sensation. “it’s you! fuck draco, only you.”

“you’re such a good slut,” he praises, picking up the pace as you clench around his digits. the lewd sounds were so loud that you were surprised that no one had busted you two, but even if someone were to walk in, you don’t think you would’ve stopped.

“cum for me,” he whispers into your ear, pressing his thumb against your clit. you screw your eyes shut, moaning draco’s name as he kisses your neck. you swear you can see stars behind your eyes, exploding in a sense of ecstasy from malfoy’s fingers.

your eyes flutter open, a seemingly never ending chorus of pants leaving your mouth. you smile through it, resting your head on draco’s shoulder.

“that was so hot,” you say.

draco chuckles, bringing his mouth close to your ear, “you thought we were finished?”

you shiver.

maybe some things aren’t meant to be kept as secrets.

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

Innocent flower |Chuuya x reader |

It’s gonna be a multiple post day-

Have more Chuuya fluff :)

Innocent flower | Chuuya x a very innocent reader |

The sun had set hours ago. The moon embraced the sky in its dark hours. The street lights illuminating the starless night. The clouds covered most of the sky in a blanket. There was even a thin layer of fog dusting the area. It smelled of rain and icky weather. “Ooo! Chuuya, maybe we’ll get to play in the rain before we find a place to crash tonight!” you smiled spinning lightly as you looked at the sky. Chuuya rolled his eyes pushing you to the side so you didn’t run face-first into a pole.

“Clutz,” he grumbled, not meeting your gaze. The two had just wrapped up another mission, but the distance to home was quite far. The decision to find a hotel, or to stay at an inn for the night, was your decision. Chuuya had objected, saying he could just bother somebody to come grab the two of you. You were against the idea because it was so late at night, well more or less early in the morning. Your nearly dead phone told you it was close to two in the morning.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to find a local inn. Bouncing to the counter you smiled at the half-asleep lady working the front desk. “Room for two, please!” you hummed, somehow still a bundle of energy despite the early hours. It was a weird thing you had. During the day you were tired and drowsy. You hated getting up, but staying up late never bothered you. Chuuya however seemed to hate waking up and staying up late. He was more of a get up late, go to sleep at a reasonable hour kind of man.

The lady pushed you a set of keys, her eyes narrowing at the two of you. “Keep it down. People are sleeping.” tilting your head to the side you nodded.

Chuuya appeared to become heavily flustered, putting his hands up and shaking his head. “It’s not like that…'' he wasn’t normally prone to embarrassment, but you often found yourself embarrassing him in front of people. Despite having the complete ability to kill, you were… innocent. The jokes made at work usually went right over your head. Comments like this one also never really settled in your head. Chuuya grabbed your wrist tugging you along to the room. He felt the need to take care of you as if you were an actual child. He wanted to preserve the innocence you had despite being an adult.

Entering the room, you stretched and began pulling him towards where the rooms should be. “Oh, there’s only one bed?” you shrugged, tugging him with you. Chuuya may or may not have a small soft spot for you.

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” he grumbled looking away.

“Huh? Why…?” you mumbled head tilted

“Two adults don’t normally sleep together.” he pinched the brim of his nose.

“Huh? Since when? Isn’t it normal for two people to sleep with each other?” you tried tugging him to the bed, but he used his ability to keep himself where he was.

“That... don’t say it like that. And no, it’s normal for two adult partners to share a bed at night.” Chuuya was hiding a soft pink tint on his cheeks.

You stopped tugging on his arm before huffing. “Isn’t that what we are?” Chuuya rapidly blinked before struggling to find words.

“Do you know what partners means?” he asked before getting one of your classic, maybe I do looks. It tended to look like a “well yeah, of course I do,” look. You raised your brows before chuckling lightly.

“Well, we're partners, right? We work together and genuinely care for each other? I mean, I know I care about you. I’d put my life on the line because your… i-i’ll shut up now.” you didn’t understand the heat on your cheeks or the sudden need to cover your face with your hands.

That seemed to force an amused chuckle from Chuuya who spoke after gaining his composer back. “Well, I guess that’s one definition of partners. I meant the other one though.” you peeked from your fingers to show your confusion. With a heavy sigh, Chuuya removed his coat and laid it on the dresser before placing his hat neatly on your head. “The other definition is romantic. You know two people who love each other?” he moved your hands from your face, holding them gently in his gloved hands.

When you averted his gaze he snickered and leaned closer to your face. “W-why so close?” you stumbled over words as he smirked bringing his forehead to touch yours. “A-are you being nice? Are you feeling okay Chuuya?” an irk mark appeared as he backed away and barked at you.

“I am perfectly fine! I’m not always loud and aggressive, you know!” he shouted, watching you laugh at his sudden mood swing. His expression immediately softened, a blush popping onto his cheeks as he looked away.

“There‘s the Chuuya I know!” you hummed, observing as he grumbled incoherent words under his breath. A silence fell over the two of you before you took his hat and put it back on his head. You noticed the pink of his cheeks and reached to feel his forehead. “Why is your face so pink?” you asked. He’d freeze up and look away from you, shaking his head.

While his guard was down you would pull him to the bed with a giggle. “I... didn’t I just say that only partners do this kind of thing!” Chuuya tried to move away, but you snuggled close to him.

“Then, I guess we're partners now.” you looked up with a bright smile. His face went completely flushed before he hesitantly wrapped his arms around you and brought you closer to him. He rested his chin on your head until you fell asleep. When he was positive you were peacefully sleeping he’d drift off.

At work the next day you were very vocal about being partners. He couldn’t go anywhere without becoming a flustered mess. When you got to his office he motioned for you to go over to him. “Did you mean it?” he asked watching you tilt your head before your face showed the realization of what he was asking. You nodded with a bright smile.

“I asked Higuchi, and she told me romantic partners are by each other's side no matter what! They love each other and care for one another! She also said if they are really close they live together, and that could go forever if they become married! I wanna be by your side forever! I wanna hold you when you're sick, and when you're sad, and definitely when you're drunk!” you giggled, watching him stand and open his arms while he turned his head to the side. He wrapped you in a tight embrace before pulling away slightly.

He looked into your eyes before his lips pecked yours. “There, now it’s official you're mine. So you can't go say those things to anybody else, okay?” he mumbled the words despite the pink dusting his cheeks.

Nodding you smiled. “She also told me to say this.” you paused before pecking his cheek. “I love you, Chuuya!” he smiled cupping your cheek in his hand. It was a nice feeling, to have the warmth of his hand against your cheek. Even if it was his glove, it still felt nice.

“I… I love you too (y/n).”

[angelicmichael]

Willow

Michael Langdon x reader

Summary: Reader, who is a witch (not tied to the og coven) is best friends with Michael. They decide to spend Valentines day together in outpost three. Based on this post, and the 'willow' music video by Taylor Swift.

Words: 3.0k+

Warnings: mentions of rituals/covens (its vague tho), slow burn, light angst, mutual pining, gross fluff, plot heavy and VERY descriptive I'm sorry dhdhd, valentines day fic, mentions of food, friends to lovers

A/N: yall rlly liked my last Michael blurb so I made this kinda similar!! Also the idea of witch! Reader not being tied to the og coven is NOT my idea, others have done it before - I just did it cause it made sense w the music video this fic is based off of ✌🏻. This is mostly me self indulging ngl so if the fic doesnt make sense that's why haha. The v beginning is like Sojourn! Era and then the rest of the fic is somewhere between fire & reign and outpost era. this fic is rlly just me trying to say happy early mf valentines day !! 💖💖 okay bye

February 14th was always a day you dreaded; The idea and concept of a whole fucking holiday being dedicated to just love.. really put a bitter taste in your mouth. In your opinion, it was just a reason for couples to show a disgusting amount of PDA and get away with it.

However; due to a incredibly corny and cliché situation you found yourself in; you now were seeing the incoming holiday in a different light. When you thought of the holiday.. You first thought of Michael. Michael Langdon.

Meeting Michael at all was a complete accident - You met months ago in fall; on a dark cloudy night. Every detail from that evening was etched and woven into your mind as if it had just happened yesterday; and you could only hope that it would remain that way forever. After all; that was the night when you had met your favorite person. You even remembered the weather.. The bitterness of the cold wind making it seem as if it was seconds from storming.

You were part of a small coven which was meeting due to a full moon, it was a rather mundane and basic ritual you were preforming. One of which you had preformed more times you could even count on your fingers.. However; what made that ritual special is that your coven happened to be recruiting.

Full black outfits, including thin, long cloaks is what everyone wore to the occasion.. After everything was over and done with; you went to leave - the bitter coldness of the night urging you to leave rather quickly.

However; something.. almost a invisible force made you stop walking away from the crowd and made you physically stop. You slowly stopped walking; and turned around. You sharply gasped when you saw a figure directly in front of you - wearing a dark ensemble that matched yours nearly identically.

Immediately you grew weary. A sharp, nauseated feeling started to manifest inside of you.

"Were you following me"? You spoke with your voice raised, your hands which previously fell loosely at your side were starting to curl into fists.

You could feel yourself getting defensive. You quickly flicked your eyes over at the other coven members - making sure you weren't causing a scene; not wanting to draw attention to the situation until it grew necessary.

"Yes, but.. look. I just wanted to talk to you.. away from the others". The boy stated.

You bit your lip to suppress a groan. You rolled your eyes, not really caring that he could see how bothered you were.

"Fine. But c'mon, make it quick". You said, not trying to hide the irritation in your voice.

You turned around and walked a few feet away from the crowd, not looking back but merely expecting him to follow you. You were expecting he was just another newbie with dumb questions, or needed clarification on something.

You turned to talk to him, and that's when you noticed something you about him you seemed to overlook earlier - his beauty. You were completely taken aback and breath taken. Light blue eyes met your gaze as you stared blankly at him; momentarily stunned. He looked beyond ethereal; his pale cheeks flushed a light pink from the cold and his blonde hair looked as if it could be spun from gold. It was almost like he could sense how you were suddenly taken aback.. A smug smirk played on his lips; if you didn't know any better you would say he almost seemed cocky.

"There's something about you that's different from the others. I could sense it". He stated.

"How"? You stuttered.

You watched as he took a couple steps toward you and in one quick swoop, pushed the hood of his cloak fully back. He got even closer but you didn't dare move. You watched him curiously as he turned to the side, pushing his blonde locks of hair out of the way to show you something behind his ear.. Your blood instantly went cold once you saw three sixes; however you weren't scared. In fact you were really the first person that Michael met that didn't practically faint when they saw his mark. Looking back; you supposed that's why you and Michael bonded so quickly and became so close.

It didn't take long for him after that to confine in you that people either avoided him or became obsessed once they knew; both reactions ultimately stemming from fear. You were the first person to look past that and to just see him as a actual human being - not just a vessel for some fucked up prophecy to play out.

Even though Michael's beauty was undeniable to you; the relationship you two had was strictly platonic.. and in the past that was never something that bothered you. You supposed that he was tired of people throwing themselves at his feet and what he really needed more than anything was a friend - so you chose to be that for him, not daring to try and test the boundaries your relationship had.

However; the boundaries were seemingly starting to come down naturally - because your relationship wasnt entirely platonic anymore. Things between you two weren't exactly black and white as they used to be; a great example of this, was how you two were planning on spending Valentines Day together.

You and Michael agreed to spend it as friends. Neither of you had a date and spending Valentines alone when you had Michael seemed redundant.. and honestly just boring. Instead of making Valentines day an all day event; it started for you two as a 'date' at 6 pm.

In order to avoid having to confront putting a label on your.. situationship, the venue for your lavish Valentines date was at a more.. private venue. He only gave you a address and instructions, you didn't really know what exactly to expect but you knew you weren't going to his house. It was somewhere new.

It was nearly six pm, the sun had just set - leaving the sky a shade somewhere between navy blue and pure black. The air was cold on your skin as you stepped out of the car, wondering where the hell you even were.

The area you found yourself in was completely bare and void of any trees, the only object or building you saw was a giant, black, metal structure. The instructions Michael gave you had told you about this but.. seeing it in person was merely jarring, oddly unsettling. You approached it, trying to ignore the nerves and anxiety you could feel creeping in.

You couldn't help but wonder what the hell this place was and why out of all the places you two could have a 'date', it would have to be here?

As you stood in front of an elevator - stepping in, you felt very reluctant to do so. It definitely felt a bit weird that Michael wanted to meet you in such a secluded place but.. he was your best friend. He would never hurt you.. especially on valentines day.. Right?

The doors opened and you slowly stepped out, immediately taken back. You were now in a oval room, with a long hallway stretching out. You first quickly scanned your surroundings for Michael but, he wasnt here. Not in your line of vision anyway. You nearly forgot you were here for Michael at all for a second. The interior was breathtaking; resembling a old, Victorian style mansion. Even though you were still utterly confused; Michaels reasoning for choosing this venue was starting to become more clear to you.

It was the cozy, romantic vibe the 'house' seemed to radiate. The dim lighting also amplified this affect; seemingly giving everything in sight a subtle golden glow, otherwise everything remained relatively dark. You walked through the building; down hallways, looking for any sounds of life at all. Your witchy senses didn't always work on Michael, so you didn't even bother to try to use those. He was right about how you were powerful but, his powers still outshone yours unfortunately.

You finally heard something, something faint; soft music playing distantly in the background. You followed it swiftly, the music getting louder and louder until you found him - in what appeared to be the library.

The room was immense; books were lined on shelves that bordered the room. Couches, along with a decent sized fireplace and chandelier - and of course a record player, also resided in the library. Playing a tune that sounded similar but you couldn't quite remember what it was.. whatever it was, it sounded old and romantic - maybe from the 50s.

"Your not very good at hiding, you know. The music was a dead giveaway". You commented playfully.

Michael greeted you with a smirk, obviously holding back laughter. He stood up from one of the couches; approaching you. He looked incredibly handsome in the normal black ensemble he was wore but tonight he sported a long black coat. Making you fondly nostalgic of the night you two met.

He got dangerously close to you, almost in your face but you weren't intimidated. Plus, you knew he wasnt trying to actually intimidate you. Michael being the way he was; you knew he wouldn't have asked you to spend Valentines with him if he didn't tolerate you in some way.

"Its a good thing I wasnt trying to hide then, is it"? He spoke; his eyes pierced into yours.

The direct eye contact was starting to get unnerving and so was the.. apparent tension. You took a step back, looking away and laughing awkwardly - trying to remind yourself you two were strictly friends. Best friends, in fact. Nothing more.. and nothing less.

"So.. what even is this place? You don't own this or something.. do you"? You asked, slyly changing the topic.

"Actually I do. It's being saved for something I have in the works; but nothing's official yet. I wanted to get your opinion though.. what do you think"? Michael asked.

Even though you absolutely loved, whatever the hell this place even was, something.. felt off. Perhaps it was the fact it was completely secluded and private. Too private. You knew Michael was into some weird shit with the Satanists but; you figured he would atleast tell you by now if he was planning on something big with them.. Something that would require a huge fucking mansion underground.

"This place is beautiful, Michael. But what is it for"?

"Your too eager for your own good, (y/n). You will know in due time, I promise; but for now.. come sit with me".

He gently grabbed your wrist and guided you over to one of the bare, black couches; you followed - sitting next to him.

The hours continuing were filled with incredibly cheesy gestures that you only rolled your eyes at, and teased him for. The first being a few small, pink flowers he had conjured up and then tucked into your hair. At first you really thought nothing of it, they were just pretty flowers. However; you knew due to Michael's nature that he didn't just so happen to come across those flowers, he summoned them purposefully - specifically for you.. You didn't bother to try and hide how flustered this made you.

"Those are beautiful; what are they"? You asked, gesturing to the flowers.

"Thought you'd never ask. Wild roses. They hold many meanings; most agree they represent both love, suffering, beauty.. life. They're even said to protect the living from the dead".

You couldn't help but to laugh at his explanation.

"Will they protect me from you? You know your not exactly human yourself". You teased.

The corner of Michael's lips slid into a slow smile, one that you couldn't quite decipher whether it was an ironic or genuine gesture.

You nearly jumped at how quickly one of Michael's hands suddenly slid up into your hair; seemingly picking out one of the petals that had fallen from one of the flowers - he retracted his hand, holding onto the petal.

"No. Your going to need something stronger than that to keep me away". He said playfully, before crushing the already wilted petal in his hand - letting it fall carelessly to ground.

You could only roll your eyes.

Next came the food and well.. you were beyond impressed. Your not certain exactly how he managed to get your favorite food down who knows how many feet underground, but.. he did. And it was perfect.

You were both pretty quiet during that time; Michael didn't really have a reason to be but you couldn't help but to get lost within your thoughts. Sure; you two were best friends but.. that didn't necessarily warrant him to do all of this for you. Was it possible that he felt.. something else, like you did?

You couldn't help but to shut that thought down as quick as it came; that had to just be you projecting. There was no way in hell he could love you back..

Wait.. love?

It was like a involuntary reflex the way you suddenly jolted up and backed away from the table. Even though it was just a thought, the fact you just admitted to yourself that you loved him.. What the fuck did that even mean?

Michael looked startled at well, you could tell by the color of his knuckles that he now had a death grip on his silverware. His icy, blue eyes matched yours with a startled gaze.. As if he was trying to contemplate your next move or to get a good read on you. You were more than well acquainted with Michael's powers by now; you knew how he had the ability to read minds and that's partially why you found yourself, slowly at first, starting to take steps away from him. Wanting desperately to get the fuck away from him. You knew that if Michael even suspected what you were thinking or how you felt, that your friendship could possibly be over. That would be it, he would want absolutely nothing to do with you. You would be no better than the dozens of women and even men that threw themselves at Michael; Maybe even worse.

You made it down a random hallway until you found yourself physically colliding into him - fucking transmutation.

You felt a sudden urge to just turn around to try and escape again but you knew he wouldn't let you. Instead you let yourself be captive, you let him hold you. Gently encasing you into a hug. It was painful how hard you were trying to hold back your tears - blindly running away was already embarrassing enough, letting him see you cry would be too much.. Too much for one night, anyways. You felt him let go of you - stepping back a little bit in order to make eye contact with you.

"What has gotten into you-" He started.

"Michael- I'm so sorry but I just need to go. We can talk about this tomorrow but for now I just really need to be alone-"

You tried to turn around in order to make another (more calm) attempt at leaving but you felt something grab at your wrist, yet again. His grasp, along with his hand were achingly soft. You hated how much you enjoyed him making physical contact with you - even if it was something just as docile as this. You also couldn't help but to hate the spark of electricity you felt when his skin touched yours - and you couldn't help but to wonder whether he felt it too.

"No. I need to know what I did wrong. I'm not letting us end today like this". Michael said, his voice was strained with emotion.

His words were spoken urgently, his voice unsteady and even threatening to break.. That's when you knew you completely fucked up. He totally misinterpreted your actions.. the sudden realization hit you, piercing your heart like a knife.

"No, your right. Can we sit"? You asked.

He let go of your wrist coldly, sauntering out of the hallway you two were in. You would be lying if you were to admit that his sudden cold actions didn't hurt you; it definitely stung but you couldn't help to feel in this moment that you kind of deserved it.

The walk over was quiet and even a bit awkward. When you two sat; he looked at you expectedly.. waiting for you to talk first and explain your sudden, impulsive actions.

"It wasnt you.. that's not why I tried to leave at all, Michael. You did everything right. I mean that's really the 'problem', even though calling it a problem still isn't the right word but.." You paused before carrying on.

"What you did tonight for me was perfect, and I'm so thankful for that, truly. But I just feel like I'm starting to interpret your actions in a different way than in which you mean them and that's not fair to you. I know you just want a friend-" Your words continuously came out faster the longer you spoke, you were completely rambling at this point but Michael stopped you.

"Hey, stop". He said softly.

You felt as if you were dreaming when you saw him start to move closer to you.. it happened so quickly it almost felt fake. Michael gently pushed you back onto the couch, so that you were basically laying down flat on your back. You pulled him back with you so that he was on top, your hands automatically going to his shoulders.. feeling the sudden urge to yank his black top off and to feel his skin under your palms. The feeling was tempting; you could feel how hot his skin was even with his shirt on. You assumed your hands were cold by the way Michael shivered and even groaned when you touched him, that had to be the only logical explanation for him acting like that..

The manner in which he bent down, his lips getting closer and closer to yours was nothing but diabolic. He stopped until the point where his lips were just ghosting above yours - maybe only really a mere centimeter away from touching. It felt entirely far too tempting to just - barely tilt your head forward and stop whatever game your friend Langdon was trying to play, but.. you didnt. In reality; the teasing was far too delicious for you to want it to end so soon.

"Who said I just wanted to be friends"? He whispered.

You could taste his breath as he spoke, you felt trapped.. But if you were to be honest with yourself, you wouldn't rather spend Valentines Day any other way than in this manner.. Trapped with your absolute favorite person, with nothing else in the world to do but to get lost in each other.

His lips roughly collided with yours with such passion that you really haven't ever felt before. It threw you off guard for a moment, but you figured there was no sense in shying from it. You had been craving to be loved by him for so long; craving for him to touch you like this and now that it was finally happening.. you only relaxed and embraced the feeling.

Time slipped away from you far too quickly but after all; time didn't really feel real at all when you were underground in a bunker. No windows or clocks to help ground you back into reality..

You knew it was atleast passed midnight now; hours had passed and you two were now residing in one of the random rooms that you had come to learn was of 'Outpost Three'. It was apparent how careful he was with his words when he told you about the place; almost like he didn't want to tell you too much. He told you most of everything, like the cooperative and how this building was for some type of event that would be taking place in the summer but you didn't probe farther. You knew he would tell you in all due time.

You two were lying on a random, spare bed. It was luxurious and dangerously soft, but if you were honest - the sheets almost seemed scratchy in comparison to Michaels bare skin. Your head wasnt on a pillow but instead on Michael's bare chest, his rhythmic heart beat nearly lulling you to sleep. Almost putting you in some type of odd trance.

You both watched the movie that was playing on his laptop; propped up on a few sparse pillows at the end of the bed. Although you really weren't trying to keep up with what was happening or what the actors were even saying. Instead, you chose to be fully present with Michael, almost entranced in his presence. You two weren't talking but, just being surrounded by him - feeling his fingers lazily playing with your hair was heaven to you.

You still felt as if you were in a dream. After all in what timeline would you ever be so lucky to call someone like Michael, yours?? Even though you two weren't exactly official, you really didn't mind at this moment. Labels only seemed to really complicate things and in your opinion; you felt more than privileged to just sit here entangled with Michael, and to escape the rest of reality for a while.

Taglist: @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon

[areyougonnabe]

Fic Writer Questions!

tagged by @palamedessextus !!! thank u i love to procrastinate on writing by writing about writing

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

110 on my main account (+ 4 on my sneaky sock for Crimes™ lol)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

614,551 on my main account which is. hm. a lot

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

obvi the main ones are the terror (50 fics) and good omens (35 fics). beyond that: TMA, the OA, doctor who, LOST, red dwarf, what we do in the shadows, the aubreyad, legends of tomorrow, banished, MCU, bbc ghosts, jeeves & wooster, russian doll, true detective, twin peaks, fleabag, & it's always sunny.

so technically 19, but wow a LOT of those are because i am a fiend for crossovers. (true detective x red dwarf... twin peaks x hannibal... the OA x lost.... russian doll x doctor who...) and many of the others were one-offs for yuletide. i'm pretty monofannish when it comes to writing!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lol they're all going to be for good omens... let's see

1. "it's a new craze" - the podcast fic. imho this fic is the definition of "The Claw," a.k.a. the phenomenon that sees some fics plucked out from the fray to become super popular. i'm not denying that it's good! i still think it's pretty clever! but its popularity was probably as much a function of timing as of quality

2. "what a way to make a living" - the uber driver fic. honestly still pretty proud of this one, it flows well and is structurally interesting and genuinely very funny and the perfect length. i had a blast in good omens fandom writing comedic fic, this one

3. "dearly departed" - another one i'm still very happy with. my first ever finished multi-chapter fic & the story that proved to me i could sustain a plot and original characters and also that people would actually enjoy it. so a pretty big deal!

4. "blame it on my juice, baby!" - the fake love potion one. i wrote this fic while delirious with horrible fever cooped up in a tiny council flat airbnb bedroom in london. i think it's still pretty strong although since writing it i've developed a severe aversion to the "meddling friend engineers a get-together" trope in fic & so cringe a bit when i read it back, lmao

5. "greatest hits" - the one with the original songs! the songs are still good.... the fic is ehhhhhhh i guess.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i don't respond to comments on most of my gomens fic anymore because 🤷‍♀️ but i do try to reply to everything i get on my terror fic/smaller fandom stories! my replies are usually very lame but i do like to take the time to thank people for reading.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i usually don't write angsty endings because i'm a weenie BUT the one exception is probably my terror/TMA crossover which cannot be said to end well by any means lol

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

dearly departed has a very lovely ending... i will also plug my OA fic heat rises which is GREAT and has a GREAT ending and nobody read it because nobody watched the OA. i'm fine it's fine

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

as mentioned above, yes, compulsively... award for craziest simply has to go to It's Always Sunny In Another Dimension which is, yes, an IASIP x OA crossover. i apologize for nothing

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that i can recall, [bubbe voice] tenks gad!!!

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do i do.... when i first picked up fic writing again after college i thought smut would forever totally beyond me but after some very kind encouragement from friends i tried my hand at it & was off to the races.

i would not say i am an expert at it by any means but i have a lot of fun with it, & people seem to generally appreciate it, so i will keep going!

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

also no, phew

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a bunch of my gomens fics have been translated into chinese and russian, which is so so super cool!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yuh, i had a few legendary cowrites in GO! the slow show metafic with cherry @fremulon and the shitscript crossover extravaganza with hallie @kalelraejepsen !!! both tremendously fun experiences

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

that is a very tough one. if you go by my ao3 bookmarks it's aziraphale/crowley, which might be true still tbh... but i dunno. maybe ten/rose because that shit never leaves you.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

in terms of fic i already started posting, there's my one terror WIP with amnesiac tozer that i swear i WILL finish one day... and same goes for my good omens music & lyrics AU, which i fully expect to pick back up and finish off when i inevitably return to the fandom for series 2.

as far as stuff that never made it out of drafts, i started a hodgson-centric fic a few weeks ago that i got like 4k into before realizing i need to seriously refine my approach. so hopefully after exe fest i will get around to that!

16) What are your writing strengths?

well i am funny. so i've got that going for me. other than that ummmm i don't know. i don't think of myself as a particularly good or strong writer bc i really am just here for a laff. i think i can turn a phrase well and get the most out of imagery; i'm good at coming up with compelling story concepts and weird gimmicks, i guess?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i fundamentally don't know or understand how People Actually Act And Feel so i have a hard time getting realistic or interesting reactions and conflicts out of characters. my plots (when my stories have them at all) are very powered by external events, i wouldn't call myself a character-driven writer by any means. for the same reasons i struggle with voice and dialogue beyond superficial signposting via vocabulary/syntax. also, sustaining a long story/finding enough Stuff To Happen to fill it up/having the patience to keep writing... is something i need to work on for sure.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i'm a lame american who only speaks english so honestly i don't really have thoughts!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i distinctly remember hand-writing in my notebook two or three pages worth of a story about what happened to the main precog in "minority report" after watching the movie when i was like seven. the first fandom i actually wrote fic for and posted it online was probably doctor who circa 2010 ish? but my warrior cats RP career predates that by a few years and i did a LOT of writing there. oh warriorsforest39 dot proboards dot com you are missed....

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

SEX GHOST AU! SEX GHOST AU!

tagging folks :))) @laissezferre @titleleaf @theburialofstrawberries @girdedheraround @flanneryoconnorfanfiction @wreathedwith if u want!!

[ayellowcurtain]

And Sander is dared to walk to the edge of the ledge by his mates....sander is not really the athletic type but his ego! So he does but Robbe watches from where he is with his friends..and sees sander might be dizzy and all and he goes and pulls him over .. cos yk nobody else dares to its too high n narrow 

there is a character called Cassie who had leaked nudes and videos posted by ex manipulative boyfriends at school. Like, when Robbe starts dating Sander who has no idea about it, he is scared that once he finds out he will leave him, but then Sander confronts him telling him he doesn't care about it and that Robbe shouldn't let this define him

It’s a very cold night, Robbe wishes Moyo’s car had a heater that worked but at least is small enough where the air doesn’t get too cold when they have the windows up.

Robbe doesn’t even know why he bothered to leave his warm and comfortable home to be here, sitting inside Moyo’s old car, staring at a bunch of dumb guys trying to find a way to go up this old and rotten, improvised wooden ledge. It feels and looks like it was made to burn a bunch of witches centuries ago and someone forgot to take it down.

He knows why he came but it’s just stupid. Sander asked him to come and Robbe still hasn’t found a way for his unconscious to not want to be around Sander all the time. They haven’t talked in a few days, Robbe left him on read but Sander still texted him and asked him to come so they could see each other.

It’s almost cold enough to snow and freeze every surface, Robbe can only hope those beams are steady enough, not too slippery.

They could be outside, drinking and talking to the cool, older guys from their school but after all the gossip, Robbe prefers to keep a distance, not sure who knows about it and how much.

Things were still very fresh and uncertain between them before Robbe decided to drop the bomb and get it over with, he doesn’t even know what being in an actual relationship is but he felt like he needed to put everything out before Sander could even think about making things official. Exactly because it was out of his hands.

It was a heavy secret to carry and it was out anyway, not because he wanted to. Even months after everything, a lot of people still look over their shoulders when walking by him. And Robbe knows it’s still a subject every time someone has to explain who he is. Instead of talking about his full name, his friends, his appearance to make someone remember him, they talk about that stupid video and their memories light up like firework.

It’s funny, Robbe feels like his ego, his confidence, self-love, everything was burned down like witches were a day in the past.

“I’m stupid and even I think that’s a stupid idea,” Moyo comments sitting next to him on the driver’s seat and Robbe blinks, sitting a little more comfortably, looking at Moyo, eating popcorn like this is an actual show.

They were starving on their way here, Jens and Aaron had surprisingly better things to do so it’s just the two of them. And they had no cash in them so Robbe brought some popcorns he made while waiting for Moyo and Moyo brought them some cheap beers he had sitting inside his fridge. It’s not bad, Robbe likes spending time with Moyo after everything they went through, after spending lots and lots of days walking around the city, talking about everything, they understood each other better and Robbe knew Moyo didn’t mean his words and Robbe knew he wasn’t the best either, pushing Sander out of his home like that a month ago.

Sander is the last one to climb, clearly the least athletic one of his group of friends, but he’s not finding it hard either. Robbe is almost sure he’s just bored, finding no fun in working out without meaning to but being too competitive and an adrenaline junkie not to try.

“Would you do it?”

Moyo stops eating and Robbe looks at him and Moyo is already staring at him, laughing at his face.

“Bro, I just said it’s a dumb idea. Of course I wouldn’t do it!”

Robbe opens his first beer of this cold Friday night, hoping to get at least some buzz out of it. He puts it back down in between the seat to adjust his jacket first, zipping it all the way up to his jaw.

“I can’t believe your boyfriend is doing it.”

Robbe sighs, staring from afar, recognizing only the black silhouette and the white hair contrasting his clothes now that they’re up higher, almost at the top.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” He whispers and it doesn’t go unnoticed in his insecure brain how Moyo laughs quietly, back to eating popcorn.

“Yeah, he is. You are afraid to talk to him but one thing has nothing to do with the other.”

Robbe grabs his beer again, needing to push himself forward on the seat as he follows them on their last pull to the top. He can see Sander clearly again once he’s at the top and it looks so stupidly high. The boys celebrate and hug each other and kind of push each other and it makes Robbe feel nauseous just looking at them.

“I don’t want to see anyone dying tonight, bro.” Moyo’s concerning voice makes all the red flags jump to the forefront and Robbe searches for his phone, his talk with Sander down the list since he hasn’t really replied to many of Sander’s texts since he found out about the leaked video.

He starts typing but that seems stupid. Sander won’t stop his competition with his friends to answer a text so Robbe decides to call him, ignoring how his friends are around him, able to hear who’s calling.

Robbe sees Sander tapping his jeans and finally grabbing his phone, accepting the call.

“Hello.” He says like he’s being formal and Robbe rolls his eyes, talking low even if it doesn’t matter, Moyo will hear them anyway.

“Hi…”

“Talk about an unexpected call.” Robbe can hear the familiar teasing in Sander’s voice and he can’t control how it makes him blush, even from afar, around a bunch of people.

“What are you doing up there?”

“Admiring the view, I guess.”

“This sounds like a dumb idea. It’s freezing cold, the wood is probably rotten and slippery.”

“Are you scared for me, Robbe?” He can see Sander walking down a slimmer ledge that nobody else tries to go down and Robbe wishes he could punch him right now.

“I don’t want you to die, no.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t be an asshole.”

“I’m not! I’m just genuinely curious. It’s not like you’ve been answering much of my texts and suddenly you’re worried I’ll die if I fall here. It’s not a big fall, if that makes you more comfortable, it’ll be quick.” Sander comes back to the place where his friends are, a tiny area where the beams are closer together and Robbe can hear in the background them challenging Sander to go somewhere else that sounds dangerous already.

“Don’t say that. Please, just come down already. I’m sure there’s not much to do there, not much room either.”

“You wanna come to see? It’s beautiful.”

“No, Sander. I want you to stop being stupid, that’s all.”

Sander sighs on the other side and Robbe can see him looking up at the blue sky, no clouds at sight.

“You are extremely boring.”

“Maybe I am.”

“And very cute too.” Robbe doesn’t answer that one, hearing Moyo snort next to him and he’s sure Sander’s friends are having similar reactions, “I’m coming down in a second. Can we talk then?”

“There’s not much to talk about.”

“You know there is.”

Robbe looks at Moyo carefully. He knows about the stupid video, everyone knows, of course, but it’s not like Robbe wants to mention it ever again in front of anyone, ever. But he needs to talk to Sander about it at some point because he was the one to start the conversation, ripping the band-aid off at once was the idea at the time, and if that’s what will make Sander come down, then Robbe will do it.

He opens the door and leaves the car, the freezing cold air taking his breath away as he leans against the window from the back seat, feeling it freezing him almost instantly even through many layers of thick clothes.

“Okay. If you come down, we’ll talk.”

Sander sighs again, “Finally.”

He ends the call, talking with his friends again and as Robbe sits back inside the old car, rubbing his hands against his thighs, he finally sees Sander coming back down carefully before anyone else.

“Do you want me to leave?” Moyo asks after a long, weird silence. Robbe looks at him like Moyo just punched him in the face.

“What? No! You brought me here!”

“Because you asked!” Moyo says just as surprised.

“Moyo, please don’t leave. I’m just going to talk to him and we’ll go if you want.”

Moyo sighs, shrugging, grabbing another beer, “Okay...whatever you say, bro.”

Robbe feels himself getting more nervous, his mouth completely dry, his hands freezing cold but still sweaty no matter how much he runs his palms through his jeans.

Sander is finally on the ground after what feels like forever, safe and with no injuries, walking to the car feels like he’s in a movie scene, Robbe sees him like he’s walking in slow motion.

“I’ll be right back.” He jumps out of the car before Sander can have the opportunity to interact with Moyo even through the window.

Sander looks different, taller, his hair a little longer, with the dark roots getting out of control but Robbe thinks he prefers it like this and the difference is from the lack of dates between them in the past week or so. Not that he has to like any difference.

“Hi…” He curses when his voice breaks a little bit, too low and Sander smiles at the corner of his lips.

“Hello.”

Robbe nods his head, looking around, just the huge clearing around them, the pine trees a couple of dozens of meters down the road. Sander doesn’t say anything, just starts walking away from the car to give them some privacy and Robbe decides that’s a good idea, walking with him.

He thought so much about this: the first time they would have an actual conversation, face to face, what he would say, what he could say to explain how a video of him is now public property, how Sander would think differently of him now and have a whole new idea of who Robbe is based on what he did. He would think Robbe is easy and stupidly horny and...so fucking dumb. And Robbe is none of that. Maybe stupid, but what bothers him so much is how who he is is now completely ignored because of what people will judge of him and of his character for having a sex tape leaked without his consent.

He feels like crying all over again so he stops thinking about it or he’ll have another panic attack right here and that’s the only thing that could make this situation even worse.

“So…” Sander clears his throat and Robbe jumps a little, realizing he should be the one talking, that Sander is giving him all the space he wants to tell his side of the story and Robbe is just unable to explain what happened and how he ended up in such a terrible situation.

“I’m sorry.” He ends up with that, and his voice sounds too low and broken again and Robbe just gives up completely, turning back around to go home but Sander follows him quickly, stopping in front of him.

“Robbe. I want to hear you.”

“There’s nothing to say, Sander! I trusted someone I shouldn’t. I had cyber sex with a fucking idiot and now everyone knows how dumb I am, and apparently how good or bad I’m in bed.”

“Hey, hey.” Sander puts his heavy hands on Robbe’s shoulders, them being the only things keeping Robbe in place, standing on his own legs, “Breath for a second.”

He does as he’s told without noticing, trying to even his breath, keeping them slower and slower and longer as he calms back down.

“You trusted an asshole and it doesn’t make you the bad person in the situation, Robbe. He was a fucking piece of shit, not you. This is not about you. I don’t care about that stupid video.��

Robbe heard these words before, I don’t care about it but it never feels like it doesn’t matter. No matter how little people care, they all already know, they all probably watched it and they already formed opinions about him and who he is without knowing him.  

“If you need someone to go to the police with, I’ll go with you, I’ll testify, anything that they might need.”

Robbe puts his hands on his face, trying to control his breathing again and Sander stands closer, not hugging him but close enough where his presence gives Robbe some peace.

“Can we not talk about this?”

They’re close enough that Robbe feels when Sander nods his head, his hands quietly squeezing Robbe’s shoulders.

“Of course. I just want to talk to you, about anything. And you’re not even giving me the chance.”

Robbe sighs, putting his hands down slowly, looking back at Sander.

“I’m clearly a mess, I don’t know if I can keep a conversation these days.”

Sander smiles softly.

“We can not talk then. Just sit across the table from each other at a restaurant or something, eat in silence. We can go to my or your place if you’re more comfortable that way. Again, eating in silence. I’ll even let you pick what we’ll eat.”

“Why do you care so much?”

Sander sighs loudly, looking up, searching for his answer again in the sky, the universe around them, spinning and spinning around nonstop.

“I don’t know but I do.”

Robbe stands on his tiptoes, hugging Sander with no second intention, just needing to be held for a second without feeling like he’s been taking advantage of.

“I have roommates.”

Sander snorts, “They’ll probably be weirded out because I keep flirting with you constantly but I don’t have any issues doing it in front of them.”

Robbe shakes his head, stepping back from Sander, liking how his hands stay on Robbe’s waist for a little longer.

“I won’t torture you to spend too much time with Milan but just...they’ll probably be home, just not in the same room.”

Sander nods his head, agreeing with Robbe’s only rule.

“That’s fine by me.”

[waveypedia]

they don’t know you like i do

Rymin Week Day 5: Birthdays

1 2 4 6 7

Ao3

~

Ryan wakes up to a sloppy cheek kiss.

“Mmmm,” he sighs, unconsciously leaning into the source. It’s something soft and warm, and unquestionably familiar and comforting even to his sleep-addled brain. For a minute he slumps drowsily against the warm lump, whatever it is, until it unfortunately moves away. What a tragedy. The universe truly is against him. Just him against the world…

A hand, gentle yet firm, shakes his shoulder. “C’mon, Ry. Time to wake up.”

“Ughhhh,” Ryan mumbles, rolling flat on his back. His eyes don’t want to open. “Not yet.”

If Ryan was more conscious, he’d register the laughter in the other’s voice. “Today’s an important day. Do you remember?”

Ryan sat up, blearily rubbing at his eyes. “Izzit a show day?”

“No, not yet.” Ryan’s eyes opened just in time to see a slightly-blurry but nonetheless beautiful Min hovering in front of his face with an excited yet bashful smile. Ryan couldn’t help a smile of his own, just looking at his handsome boyfriend. Yet all thoughts were dashed when Min leaned in for a kiss, effectively cutting off all of Ryan’s brainpower.

When Min finally pulls away, he is grinning euphorically. “Happy birthday, Ryan.”

Ryan leans into Min’s shoulder. “Happy birthday, Min.”

After a few more kisses, Ryan reluctantly slips out of the warm bed (or lack thereof) and shakes himself awake. The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon, and the interior of the van is shrouded in long shadows. Min, who has never truly taken to getting up early, is starting to droop.

Ryan wraps an arm around his boyfriend. “Not that I don’t want snuggles, Min, but I’m guessing you woke me up for a reason?”

“Oh! Right. Yes.” Min shakes himself, rubbing fatigue out of his eyes, and stands up straight. Ryan scrambles to stand as well so he doesn’t lose his grip.

Min turns and makes eye contact, smirking mischievously. “Check outside.”

“Hmm?” Ryan makes for the van’s back door, tugging a sleepy but excited Min along with him. He opens it and sees… “Wait. We’re here?”

Min grins at him. “Yeah, I did some late-night driving so we could have the whole day to ourselves.”

Ryan laughs, euphoria tinging his voice. His emotions felt uncontrollable and unstable from sleep. He was still in that half-awake state where his emotions hadn’t quite settled yet, and all he could feel was a tidal wave of happiness and love. Affection for his amazing boyfriend.

“Miiiiin,” he faux-whines, squeezing Min’s side. “But now you’re gonna be all tired! And I want to spend time together on our birthday!”

Min coughs lightly, his cheeks coated with a heavy blush. “Well- I- I didn’t drive for too long, Ryan. I’ll be fine.”

Ryan gives Min a long, measuring look, then shrugs. “If you say so. You know yourself best, and I trust you. I’ll be watching you, though, buster,” he says warningly, pointing his fingers at his eyes and then Min’s own.

Min chuckles, somewhat awkwardly. “If it gets to be too much, I’ll say something. I promise, Ryan.”

“Good.” Ryan leans against Min’s side, before changing his mind and pulling his boyfriend into a full hug. “Now let’s go celebrate our birthday, huh? We have two years to make up for!”

Min leans down to rest his chin on Ryan’s shoulder. “I am more than ready.” 

--

They check into the hotel and unpack as quickly as possible. They’re used to getting situated quickly, (all those late nights performing made for good experience) but this time their haste is borne out of excitement instead of fatigue. Once they’re settled, they spent a little while lying on the bed, just cuddling and enjoying each other’s company.

Min lovingly brushes his fingers through Ryan’s hair. He’s done it so many times now since they first embarked on their tour, but Ryan will never get tired of it. He leans his head back into Min’s soothing touch.

He could stay like this forever, but unfortunately, that is not in store. He and Min have a few errands to run. They don’t quite feel like errands, though. Not when they’re spent in the company of each other.

They make a quick stop at the local supermarket for food and supplies. They’re nearly finished, and Min is already outside checking around for an Asian market. Ryan is about to pay and join him, but then his eyes catch on something magnificent.

“Min!! Min, come here! Come look at this!!”

“What?” Min is inside in an instant, eyes wide and hair messy. He looks slightly panicked, and he’s breathing heavier than normal. For a minute Ryan feels guilty for worrying him, but then Min relaxes at the sight of Ryan excited and unharmed. It’s all he can do to keep from bouncing on the balls of his feet - and as Min’s expression shifts from worried to curious, Ryan’s enthusiasm wins out.

“Look at this!!” Ryan gestures to a row of boxes behind him exuberantly.

Min frowns at the shelf, brow furrowed. Ryan can catalogue the moment he notices what Ryan’s trying to show him, because his eyes light up and he breaks out in a grin. “Brownie mix?! Oh, Ryan, you genius!” Min wraps him up in a hug, and Ryan grins into his chest. “We have to make this!”

“You read my mind,” Ryan says as soon as Min lets him go. He grabs a box and places it carefully in the shopping basket.

At the checkout counter, both he and Min can barely contain their excitement. They keep shooting each other mischievous, eager grins every few seconds. The cashier seems slightly curious, but evidently grows tired of them after a few minutes and rings them up with more than a few eye rolls. Once they’ve paid, they practically book it out of the shop, still giggling uncontrollably to themselves.

They can’t wait to make it back to the hotel. The rest of the shopping, usually a fun activity where they discuss all the new (and in Ryan’s case, cursed) food combinations they can try in their budget, feels much more like the chore others regularly lament it to be.

 But at last, they make it back. At the sight of the hotel parking lot, they break into a run that doesn’t even stop for the stairs, laughing all the while.

The hotel, of course, has a concierge bell. On impulse, Ryan sneaks back down while the concierge is on break and snatches it, overcome with mischevious giggles like a young child.

When he presents it to Min, safely back in their rooms, he blanches. “Ryan! You can’t just do that! We could get into so much trouble!”

“Ah, I’ll return it when we're done. And I won’t get caught. Don’t worry.” Ryan waves him off, brushing past him from where they stand in front of the closed door. Even though it costs money they don’t have, they’ve sprung for a little kitchenette this time. After all, when can you treat yourself (and your amazing partner) if not on your birthday(s)?

Ryan sets Not-Kez on top of the mini-fridge, in perfect view of his and Min’s tiny cooking spot. “Just like old times, eh, Min?”

“Not in the slightest,” Min says, sounding like he’s torn between a groan and a snort.

“Yeah, I know. This dull thing could never compare to the real Kez.” Ryan brushes his fingers over the disappointingly not-sentient bell, not dissimilar to how Min comforted Kez when she was upset. “It’s not nearly snarky enough.”

That gets a real snort out of Min. “Not counting the weird gravity, giant pig-baby, sentient porcelain cow, and giant kitchen.”

“Don’t forget the post-war American cookbook,” Ryan adds. “Brownies were the only good thing they had.”

“And the only thing we care to replicate.” Min starts pulling ingredients out of their shopping bag. He places the coveted brownie mix in its place of honor next to Kez. “Hey, at least we have butter.”

Ryan laughs. “Just don’t put the butter in the microwave, and we’re good. That goes for you too,” he adds, faux-stern, wagging his finger at Not-Kez.

Unsurprisingly, Not-Kez does not respond. Just another reason why the real Kez is superior.

“This is way easier with regular-size ingredients,” Min comments.

Ryan bursts out laughing, brushing Not-Kez in his haste to keep his balance. “Really? Who would’ve known?”

Min glances back at him, rolling his eyes. “Go back to your humble brownie expert act, please.”

“I am but a simple man,” Ryan parrots dramatically, clutching at his shirt like Min had done all those months ago. “A simple brownie man.”

Min laughs. “All right, all right, that’s enough out of you. Here’s your toothpick, so we can check for fudgieness. You know, so it’s not cake.”

Ryan bows. “Of course, of course, Your Honor.”

Min’s responding giggle is enough to sustain Ryan for years to come. Brownies aside.

--

After the brownies are done, they curl up in bed with the tray. It’s torture waiting for the brownies to cool down, but a hospital visit from burns would certainly put a damper on their birthday. Not to mention cut into their already lacking budget and tight schedule.

“We’re going to get crumbs in the bed,” Min grumbles when Ryan presents him with a properly-cooled brownie. “Have you ever slept on crumbs, Ryan? Do you know how fun it is?”

“You say that like I don't eat in my bed all the time,” Ryan replies flippantly. He sits down next to Min and purposefully takes the biggest bite possible. They both watch as crumbs scatter onto the bed. Min sighs.

Ryan pauses. “Or. Well. I did.”

“You are literally sitting in your bed right now, leaving crumbs,” Min says, poking Ryan in the side playfully. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes, though. When their gazes lock, Min conveys a silent message. Are you okay?  

Ryan nods. Min relaxes, and grudgingly grabs a brownie. “Hmm. These are good.”

Ryan laughs. “Well, what did you expect? They were made by the brownie experts, after all. Or have you forgotten?”

“Forgive me for doubting cheap grocery store mix,” Min deadpans. His smile has returned in full, which in turn only brings a matching smile to Ryan’s face. “But it is quite good.”

“I agree.” Ryan downs his brownie. Somehow, he gets the feeling they won’t be talking much while they eat.

They devour the majority of the pan. It’s with some effort and self-restraint on both of their parts that they finally put the tray away - they both want leftovers, but fresh, warm brownies are difficult to refuse. In the end, the afternoon slips away, dangerously towards dinnertime, and the brownies end up safely stowed in their bag.

Dinner is a quieter affair after the brownie debacle, but it’s no less fun. They head downstairs to find a good restaurant in the area. (And so Ryan can drop off the inferior Kez - he nearly gets caught by the concierge, but slips away just in time. He catches her looking around, baffled, at the mysteriously appearing and disappearing concierge bell as they leave. Min shoots him a glare that feels like it could kill him, but in the end they escape unscathed.) After they make their escape, they end up at a small place with a live band playing on the corner stage.

Ryan nudges Min. “That could’ve been us, you know.”

“Maybe next time we pass through this town,” Min agrees. “But… thanks. I know you would’ve performed on your birthday if it was up to you, but I appreciate you spending it with me.”

Ryan rolls his eyes, although he’s smiling. Perhaps a little too emotionally. “Please, I’d be spending time with you even if we were playing,” he reminds Min. “But really. It’s nothing. I’m just happy to be with you, however we spend our time.”

Min reaches across the table to take Ryan’s hand. His eyes are shining in the soft candlelight. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Ryan smiles affectionately. His heart feels like it’s full to bursting. His vision is getting a little blurry. “I think I do, Min. Because I feel exactly the same way.”

Min’s responding smile is enough to make Ryan’s entire year.

--

The rest of the night is a blur after that. All Ryan really remembers is that he had fun and that he somehow loves Min even more than he did before. Which should be impossible, but it’s the truth.

They end up curled up in the bed together. Right as always, Min complains about crumbs, but his heart isn’t in it.

They don’t stay up too late. As much as Ryan loves his party-filled late nights of adrenaline and bad decisions, they both got up quite early. By the time Min’s arms are tucked securely around him, Ryan is asleep in an instant.

 Well, not quite.

He’s in that state of almost-asleep-but-not-really when whatever visually discernible features the hotel room has in darkness are starting to blur beyond recognition when Min says it.

“I love you, Ryan.”

Ryan leans back, cuddling himself into Min. “I love you too.”

~

oh god this is so late again why can i please stop getting inspiration boosts exclusively at 9pm (i did write 1.5k words in an hour though that's not bad!)

i keep eating on my bed and then every night i'm like god what are these CRUMBS who brought fucking CRUMBS into my bed how dare you skdfhgfkdsk this fic is just projection but in the weirdest, most mundane ways

the beginning of this is actually the first thing i wrote for rymin week! i wrote it a week or so before after i finally figured out my prompt ideas (thank you for talking it out with me sae) and then proceeded to write nothing else but day 1 before the event began skhfjksl. i'm a mess thank you for coming

the worst part of writing post-train is the lack of kez. in a perfect world she got off the train with min and ryan and she and morgan became their floating concierge bell and castle road trip friends. i miss herrrrr

title is from masterpiece theater iii by marianas trench. i rediscovered this song a few months ago after years of not listening to it but the warriors map to it used to be my favorite thing years ago. the actual video didn't come out until i was nearly done with the books but i used to watch the planning video over and over again

if you ever wanna talk infinity train, writing, these amazing characters, or really anything hmu here on my tumblr or twitter! thank you for reading, and please leave a reblog/like/comment if you enjoyed it!

@ryminweek

[punkgrogg]

Doorway Duo pt. 1

Pairing: Hybrid!Taehyung x Reader, Hybrid!Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Hybrid!BTS, Non idol AU, fluff

Warnings: Pregnancy

Summary: Y/n was abandoned by her long time boyfriend and moves back home to help prepare for the baby. She’s surprised to find two unfamiliar hybrids at her house.

Length: 3,902 words

Notes: This is my first Hybrid story. Feedback would be greatly appreciated. I have two more parts outlined and will update as soon as possible because this quarantine has done nothing but give me time to write.

Date Posted: 4/24/2020

My hands cradled the ever-growing bump I have for a stomach. I still can’t believe I’m pregnant. If you would have told me four months ago I was going to be pregnant and alone I would have never believed you. I was in a loving relationship with my high-school sweetheart and we were against the world.

Until I found him pressed in between the legs of some random girl from his accounting class. That was three months ago- exactly a week before I found out I was pregnant. I let him know immediately and he admonished me for thinking he was the father. Apparently, there was no way he could be the father- we had only had sex four times in the past year. 

It only takes one time, I thought as I picked up the last of my bags. He had moved out of our apartment the week I found him cheating on me and I was more than capable of keeping the place myself but with a baby? No way. I knew nothing about being a mother and thankfully my parents insisted on me coming back home at the end of the semester so they could help me. I’d be finishing my degree online until I got more settled with the baby. 

Until. This was only temporary until I got my life back on track. 

This has been my mantra for the past few weeks. I’ve repeated it daily in hopes of quelling the anxiety of bringing in a new life. I repeat as I drive twenty minutes out of the city and back home. Parking in front of the house I grew up in, I can feel the dread knotting itself in my stomach. This made everything all the more real and I was scared. Scared to face my future. While I was battling my inner demons I never noticed Hoseok approaching the car until he pulled open my door.

“Y/n! You’re finally here!” he squealed as he awkwardly wrapped me up in a hug. My waist was pinned back against the seat with the seat-belt but he was pulling me out of the car. Hoseok was my adopted brother.  He was a hybrid my parents saved when we were both young and he’s been my brother ever since but most people don’t agree with my family’s ideology. 

“Hobi you’re hurting me.” I gasped and he instantly released me his fluffy black ears falling flat against his hair. I unbuckled before hopping out and wrapping him in the biggest hug possible. He welcomed the hug with a tightened grasp. I missed him. 

“How’s the baby?” I hear my mother call from the porch and Hoseok releases me. He reached past me into the car to pop the trunk before going to unload. I turn towards my mother to see two men beside her as they all make their way down the driveway. Both of the men were taller than Hoseok and like Hoseok they were hybrids. They seemed to be total opposites as far as their fashion choices went. Monochromatic would be the only way to describe their appearance; one an entirely dark presence- his clothes were tight and black from top to bottom, the other was a soft entity- his clothes were light, ashy gray that matched his hair.  They both walk past me and assist Hoseok without a glance towards me. My mother captures me in a warm hug.

“They’re doing fine and your baby is doing great too.” I finally answer, returning her hug. As we part, she lays her hand on my stomach with tears in her eyes.

“I swore Jinnie would give me my first grand-babies but here you are, breaking through every expectation once again.”

“I thought I would be an aunt before I was a mother too but I figured it’d be Joon. he was always the ladies’ man in high school.” I sighed exasperatedly. My other two older brothers were back in the city and have already started their careers. Seokjin was engaged and Namjoon was so focused on his career that I don’t think he’s been on a date since high school.

“Well, life has a funny way of making things happen. Have you found out the gender yet?”

“As I told you three days ago, they’re sitting weird and we can’t figure out what it is,” I said as we walked into the house. I could hear my dad in the kitchen, presumably cooking tacos from the smell of it. He was always the best cook in the house and insisted on cooking every meal. I followed the scent of cumin and sizzling beef as I could hear the pounding of feet up the stairs behind me.

“Baby girl, I’m making your favorite,” He says as he comes over for a quick side hug. As quick as he was here- he was gone. Back to tending to the tortillas and chopping the onions.

“I haven’t had tacos in forever, whenever I smelled any kind of beef I became nauseous,” I commented idly, my father’s face turning up in disgust and my mother’s showing sympathy.

“I couldn’t eat eggs for any of my pregnancies, especially during the first trimester.” she patted my shoulder gently and moved towards the fridge. I heard the stampeding feet once again and was quickly tugged into someone’s side.

“What’s my nephew’s name?” Hoseok asked loudly, his cheek pressed to the top of my head. I glanced quietly towards the doorway where the two men stood as still as a pair of statues while intently looking towards me.

“It might be a niece you’re getting.” I retorted while pulling myself away. I stepped towards the doorway duo with an outstretched hand. “Hi, I’m Y/n, sorry that no one else introduced us.”

The first one to shake my hand had broad shoulders and ashy gray hair. He had a long tail that reached the floor that was the same gray as his appearance but was accented by black spots. He held my hand gingerly and dipped his head towards me. “ I’m Taehyung, its nice to meet you.” His hand lingered as I turned to the next guy.

The second man had more muscles than I had ever seen on your average person. His face was jarring with the baby fat still clinging to his cheeks, he had short-cropped hair that accentuated his tall pointed ears. And unlike the first, he hesitated on taking my hand. 

“Jungkook,” He said tersely before shaking my hand once and dropping it like it was hot coals. 

“It’s nice to meet you both,” I said while stepping away once. Taehyung took a half step forward, his gaze still trapped on my face. Jungkook’s gaze was firmly focused on my stomach, an intense look that made my heart skip and subconsciously pull my hands forward to protect them. 

“You’re not going to ask?” Taehyung asked, his face screwed up in confusion. I could feel Hoseok’s presence towering behind me- his hand reaching up to grasp my shoulder. 

“Ask what?” My head cocked in confusion before realization dawned on me. “Oh, how rude of me. How was your day?” Hoseok chuckled from behind me before piping in.

“He meant asking what they were.” embarrassment made my face flush, how could I be so dense?

“Oh. Uh. Well, you can tell me if you want. I honestly don’t really care about that, I’m not too sure about what Hobi is.”

“Great Pyrenees. Goodness, you’d think after sixteen years you’d know that.”

“All I know is that you’re fluffy and a cuddle bug.”

“I’m a snow leopard hybrid.” Taehyung quickly interjected, his ears pointed up, they rose mere centimeters above his wild untamed curls. They were the same color as his ashy hair but had accents of black on the tips. 

“Really? That’s so cool, I’ve never met a snow leopard hybrid before.” He mirrored my smile, his eyes crinkling into feline-esque slits. Faint patches of freckles were mapped across his cheekbones, curling up around his eyes. 

“We’re as rare as our animal counterpart.” His eyes glanced quickly towards Jungkook meaningfully then flickered away just as fast. “Jungkook here is a German Shepherd hybrid.”

“Wow, that’s really cool.” Jungkook couldn’t meet my stare and quietly excused himself, high tailing his way back up the stairs. Taehyung ignored his retreating form and instead stepped into the kitchen, sitting at the counter. Hoseok followed after him relaxing  into the  second to last stool

“Sorry, he’s a bit apprehensive, Hoseok warned us about your pregnancy and that you might have crazy mood swings.” The gray man added conversationally, his eyes scanning over my face approvingly. He cracked a grin at the disbelief that spread across my face.

“Crazy what?” my father chuckled at my incredulous tone, “Hobi I will kill you.” I stepped towards him menacingly and he shot up off his perch.

“See Tae? It’s already happening. Mom, get your daughter.” he cried out as he circled around the counter towards mom.

He tried to duck behind her smirking form as I neared but he underestimated the drama mom lived for. “You only brought this on yourself, honey.” She flitted over to dad’s side and taste-tested the corn salsa.

“Who’s gonna save you now?” I smirked at him as I crept closer, my hands poised to pinch the ever-loving shit out of his cheeks.

“This isn’t fair, I can’t fight a pregnant woman,” Hobi whined as he resisted my efforts- his entire upper body leaning away from me.

“If either of you scoundrels hurt my grand-baby I will ground you both.” my dad intoned, halting both our figures. My hands cupping his face and his pushing against my shoulders lightly. Taehyung was laughing at us- he had melodic giggles.

“Taehyung dear, will you go tell Jungkook it’s time for dinner? Y/n and Hoseok go set the table.” Mom ordered and all three of us obeyed instantly. Hobi pulled a stack of plates out the cabinet and I rounded up the silverware. Taehyung was up the stairs by the time Hobi and left the kitchen and headed over to the dining room. I straightened out the red table mats and laid out a set of silverware while Hobi was a step behind me laying out his stack of plates. 

“So, all jokes aside, how has it been?” he asked as we finished up, I leaned heavily against the chair in front of me. It sucks. I’m about to be responsible for a whole person. I’m scared and alone.  Is what I thought but there was no way I could actually tell him that.

“Well, it’s not what I had planned but I’ll get through it. It’s weird being back here when I’ve been living in the city for the past three years.” A wry smile managed to take residence on my face.

“You’ll get used to it, and like you said you’ll get through it. Have you heard from him?” Hobi settled into the chair directly across from me. He started to fiddle with his spoon as I sunk down into my seat.

“No, and I don’t want to. He said he wasn’t the father and that he didn’t want to be.”

“Jin and I will still kick his ass if you want us to.” He was focused on the spoon in his hand, but I could tell that emotionally he was struggling. He was always the more empathetic of my brothers and showed to be more protective of our family at every turn. He was the first one I told when I found Henry was unfaithful and he was the first to know I was pregnant.

“No, it’s fine. We don’t need that loser anyway.” I smile at him, hoping to convey my appreciation to how he’s been so strong in supporting me. My eyes strayed up to the stairs, the question finally breaking through. “Uh, what’s with our two guests? Friends of yours from work?”

“No, the shelter caught on fire last week, and since mom and dad are certified for fostering they brought them in. Mom didn’t tell you?” Hoseok cocked his head to the side, his brows furrowed. 

“She didn’t but that sucks about the shelter. When will it be fixed?” The shelter was where hybrids could stay and be safe. And, as unfair as it is, where they could find their next home. Hybrids had a terrible history and humans were horrible when it came to them. Many held no regard for their hybrids- considering them no better than an animal. Thankfully by adolescence hybrids usually find their place in life and the shelter typically only houses kids being adopted out. There were cases where a family who could no longer provide the care for their hybrid had to surrender them to the shelter. Cases presumably like Taehyung and Jungkook.

“Boss said a couple of months until the renovations are all finished.” Hoseok was a volunteer at the shelter, he has been since high school. Hybrids weren’t allowed to work without the permission of their family (something that outrages our family to no end) and most could only work in volunteer positions. 

“Maybe they’ll finally fix the break room's window.” I teased, for as long as I can remember the window has been duct-taped together. No matter what- renovations or accidents being repaired- the window has remained duct-taped together.

“That window has been broken since Hoseok came into the family,” Dad chimed in as he swept into the room. He was carrying the frying pan full of steak in one hand and a table protector in the other. He laid it in the center of the table as Mom, Taehyung, and Jungkook followed behind with their arms full of the side dishes. 

“There’s always hope.” Retorted Hobi, ever the optimist.

“I highly doubt it- it’ll probably be the only thing missed by the renovations.” Dad shook his head, having lost hope on that window years ago.

“What’s being missed?” Mom asks, situating the chopped tomatoes and the tower of tortillas.

“The shelter’s break room window.” I supplied, helping pull out the chair to my right for her to sit. Jungkook settled in the seat in between Hoseok and my dad; Taehyung claimed the seat on the right of my mother. 

“Oh that thing has always been broken, I figured they’d fix it years ago. Anyway, Hoseok dear pass me the sour cream.” at that, we all settled into making our plates. 

“Dad, this is sublime, I’ve been living off of pizza and ramen for the past few months.” The taco was by far the best thing I’ve eaten in months. The seasonings and fresh ingredients almost overwhelming my poor college student tastebuds. Dad smiled down the table at me.

“Is that healthy for the baby?” Hoseok asked making a face of concern directed to my stomach. 

“You can worry about yourself- I already got an earful of complaints from mom about prenatal vitamins.” Jungkook snorted at the retort and smiled at me for the first time.

“Honestly what's the difference between prenatal vitamins and regular vitamins?” Taehyung asked, turning towards my mother and I. I shrugged and shoved another taco in my mouth. Mom said they were important and I believed her- plus my doctors said it was great when I had told him I was already taking the vitamins.

“They have more iron and other nutrients that pregnant women don’t get enough of.” Mom explained and Taehyung nodded thoughtfully.

“Pregnancy is so much work, I don't know how you did it three times mom.” Mom laughed at that- covering her face with a napkin. 

“Raising you four was way more work, pregnancy was a breeze compare to four teenagers.” She looked at me with pointed eyes. Ah, yes, the dreaded teenage years I would soon face. I grimaced at the thought of hormone-fueled years. Hopefully, I’ll have a daughter, I knew how girls worked throughout puberty.

“Hey, Namjoon wasn’t nearly as bad as the other three.” Dad defended, he was always on the defense of his supposed angel child.

“Joonie almost slept with the entire highschool our junior year and I’m surprised he even got through college without a baby,” Hobi interjected loudly causing Taehyung to laugh.

“No really, Jin, and I thought he was going to catch something.” He continued, turning towards the gray hybrid. His eyebrows were raised and his eyes expressed the utmost of sincerity.

“Your brother did not.” Mom joined the defense, her and dad believing the facade Joon had put up throughout our childhood. 

“That’s what you think, he was a sneaky little bastard.” I chimed in joining Hobi’s side. Jungkook and Taehyung were giggling to themselves watching us all bicker.

“Middle children always are,” Jungkook said joining the offensive.

“They’re nowhere near as spoiled as the youngest.” Hobi suddenly turned on me, the shock of betrayal apparent in my scoff.

“She’s the only girl, you guys never stood a chance.” The unexpected support form Taehyung had me smirking at my new enemy.

“It’s not my fault I’m the favorite,” I flipped my hair over my shoulder and leveled Hobi with a teasing glare.

“Seokjin might beat you there.” Mom rebuked, completely sideswiping me. 

“Hey! Does your grandchild mean nothing to you?” I cried out in mock surprise, Jin was mom’s angel child.

“Honey, we promised not to tell them.” 

“Honestly, high key offended but not surprised.” Hoseok shook his head as he continued on with his taco. The room dissolved into chatter as we finished dinner; I excused myself from the table to unpack. 

I slowly made my way up the stairs while taking the time to look at all the photos of my brothers and me throughout the years. My room was the first room at the top of the stairs- Hoseok’s was directly across. Namjoon and Seokjin’s rooms were the other two rooms but both have now turned into guest bedrooms ever since they graduated college. My room used to be our parents’ when we were really young but soon after bringing Hobi into the family, they renovated the garage into the master bedroom of their dreams.

My room was still the ugly lime green color that I begged my dad into painting it when I was in middle school. The furniture was a yellowing white and had layers of neon colors splattered on it. Coming home really incited the cringe-worthy memories of my early teen years- swore it was cool at some point. My suitcases and duffel bags were resting on my bed. I decided to shuffle my music while unpacking the impossible amounts of clothes I managed to pack. 

~~~~~~~~

“Now all your love is wasted, then who the hell was I?” I sang along, lost in the moment of hanging up all of my shirts. One bag remained after I finished my shirts- my underwear and socks. I was startled out of my peaceful reverie at the abrupt knock at my door. I whipped around to see Jungkook hesitating at my doorway with a shy smile. 

“Your mom asked me to bring this up to you,” he answered my unasked question and held out a plate with chocolate cake. My mouth watered just looking at it.

“Thank you Jungkook, just set it down on that dresser and I’ll get it when I finish this up “I waved towards the surface closest to him with the hanger in hand while hooking on a sweater. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he slowly stepped into the room and laid the cake on the dresser.

He stood in place while looking around at my room his gaze finally settling on the pile of luggage on the floor at the foot of my bed. “Do you need any help?”

“No,” My answer was quick and he seemed to flinch at it. To soften the unintended blow I smiled awkwardly, “but you’re more than welcome to hang out in here.”He meandered over to edge of the bed as I hung up the last shirt from my bag. It was silent as I shoved the bag off the bed and onto the pile of other emptied ones and made my way over to my cake. I hopped up onto the dresser to sit so I could face Jungkook while I ate. He avoided looking at my face and instead looked at the posters hung on my wall that were of artists that never really charted on any kind of chart.

“What kind of music are you into?”He looked at me quizzically as I finally broke the awkward silence between us.

“Well, that’s a tough question. A little bit of everything I guess, mainly pop if I had to settle on a genre.” I finished my cake and set it to the side as I smiled at him wildly.

“Me too, I kind of go in phases though, like it’ll be pop and then I’ll really get into 70s indie rock for a couple of weeks.” He softly grinned at my enthusiasm before snickering.

“You sound like Tae when he gets into his movies, it’ll be a week-long showing of all marvel films and then two months of obscure Buster Keaton films.” His tone sounded as if he’s experienced this far too many times to count.

“Buster Keaton was the shit though,” my proclamation was met with the horror of a man too well versed in debating Buster Keaton.

“Oh god, not another one.” he groaned, flopping back onto my bed. I laughed a little until he sat up again, his smile sobering me up.

“So how long have you and Taehyung known each other?” Were they from the same home before being placed in the shelter? It wasn’t that often that people were able to bond so well when in the shelter with how short their stays typically were.

“We have been roommates at the shelter for, I guess, about a year now. He’s my best friend.” Jungkook’s smile was the complete opposite of what should accompany that sentence. A month was the maximum I had ever heard of someone staying in the shelter. I schooled my features to not show the shock I felt.

“Who me? It better be me or else I’m chopping heads off.” Taehyung entered the room in the most dramatic way possible. Unlike Jungkook he hadn’t waited for an invitation and instead strutted into the room while Jungkook rolled his eyes at the theatrics.

“I hear you’re a fellow Keaton aficionado.” My statement caused him to falter in his stride, he quickly recovered with a beaming smile directed towards me.

“On occasion, noir is where my heart is truly.” His hand clutched at the thick gray cardigan right above his heart.

“Your heart changes every other day.” Jungkook rebutted, his eyes rolling so far back he might lose them back there. 

“She’s noncommittal okay, we don’t judge here.” Taehyung glared at his best friend and it made my heart swell at how cute they both were.

“I’m most definitely judging,” Jungkook muttered falling back on his elbows and staring up at the ceiling, feigning annoyance.

“Can you believe him Y/n?” The deep timbre of his voice negated any nasal squeak he might otherwise have from his whiny tone. 

“He’s a real scoundrel, the worst of them all.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #459

“i wanted you to know that i love the way you laugh  /  i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away”

Does the person you like have any flaws? He's never seemed very expressive of what he feels. Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yes. Because it was our anniversary and he wanted to, ig. If you ruled your own country, what type of government would it have? I'm not educated enough to answer this. Creation theory, Evolution or the Big Bang theory? I really don't know what I believe about the origins of the universe, but I do believe in evolution. Describe one of your most emotional farewells. The last time I saw Jason and we talked for a long time, and I finally got my closure. It was all so heavy. It started so stiffly, but it ended with us just chatting and smiling and, to my absolute shock, a hug from him. I'm getting emotional so NEXT QUESTION. What was your last serious conversation about? I was reassuring and comforting Sara about some stuff. Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No. Are there any gnomes in your yard? No. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Years ago. A bumblebee. Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? I am old enough, and no. The odds are way, way too small, and I don't really dabble in addictive behavior. Have you ever been into a real cave? No. :( That's a life goal, though. Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid. It was regarding Meerkat Manor and I thought it was really disrespectful to Flower just because of the music chosen lmao. The drama. What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black. If you had to spend one day in any movie storyline, which one would it be? Alice in Wonderland, I suppose? Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Oh man, I've played waaaaay too many video games. I suppose Silent Hill with how confused it left me at first. Its concept is definitely wild. Parasite Eve is high on the list, too. In your opinion, what is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Boy in the Striped Pajamas destroys me. What is the best song to make out to? I could answer this but I'm not gonna lmfao Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? story of my life ayyyyeeeee Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Not a clue. Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom. I sobbed on-and-off for days. Do you consider yourself a healthy person? Physically and mentally? No, in either way. Do you know anyone who owns a boat? My dad does. I'm sure others, too, with how popular fishing out on a boat is here. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I don't know. Even for medicinal purposes, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. What did you do for your 21st birthday? I was in the psych hospital, so... lmao. Therapy, reading, and coloring. Lots of reading and coloring. Because they did NOT fill your schedule enough there. We only had two group therapy sessions a day, and the rest was just... blankness. If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? I know I'd be one of the dumb ones that absolutely wanted a tiny raptor, lol. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Not interested. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I don't like soup. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? My first real series that I read religiously was Hank the Cowdog. Then it was Warriors. Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? No. I really don't need candy available to me. Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? It depends on what they're doing. In a lot of cases, no. Do you ever watch talk shows? No. Do you have a/any hero(s)? Mark Fischbach, Steve Irwin, my mom... Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Though Mom has playfully once told me that she knows a lot of things I don't think she does, and that's terrifying lmao. You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? M.o.H.: Mom or Sara. Best man isn't my choice. Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? DYE IT ALLLLLLL. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My friendship ring w/ Sara. It has a heart carved on the outside and "bitch" engraved inside so no one can see when you have it on, lol. She has one that says "jerk." It's a Supernatural reference. Who challenges you the most? In what way? My therapist and psychiatrist. They just help ensure I pursue my goals and give me little nudges forward to reassure me. Who seems to hold you back? In what way? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT ME. I listen to my anxiety WAY too much. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Going up to Lake Gaston w/ Mom to visit Ash and her fam. They go there all the time, and it's a real nice place. I just didn't want to go because of the heat. Should there be an application process for having children? Hunny, that would not stop people from fuckin lmfao Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? m e e r k a t s What is a fear you have about living on your own? That depression would get the better of me and I'd neglect taking good care of my house. One of the many reasons I'll never live alone. Not at all saying I'd leave the responsibilities to my partner, but they'd be motivation for me to get stuff done. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Nothing that bad. What’s your stance on spooning? It helps me feel safe and loved and alsdkfjalwe I just love cuddling in all sorts lmao What’s your most recent obsession? Violet Orlandi & Melodicka Bros' cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know." Have you ever been scammed? Ha ha, yes. I once wanted to get Jason a Joker and Harley Quinn pillow from deviantART; talked to the artist, paid 'em, never got it. :^) Have you ever fostered an animal? No. I would get WAY too attached to foster. I wouldn't be able to give them up without breaking down, probs. Do you know anyone who acts way younger than what they are? I'm sure I do, but no one is coming to mind atm. Would you say you’re a pretty independent person? God no. Does the last song you listened to, remind you of someone? JASON. Do you currently want a new computer? Yes, actually. I want a desktop PC for better gaming quality, honestly. Also, the "escape" key doesn't work on this laptop, one key is missing so I have to hit the sensor JUST right, and it restarts randomly sometimes. I want a PC mainly because I want to get out of the habit of being on my laptop in bed all damn day. How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? I already have like six or seven, so they wouldn't be surprised. Is there anyone you can picture yourself being with forever right now? Maybe. Who is your truest friend? Sara. What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? THIS house? Idk. Nothing that I'd consider odd. What bug frightens you most? STAG BEETLES lkadjslkfja;lwekjawl;kejrlawer Who is your oldest friend? That would be Sam, and he's in his mid-30s. How long have you known them? Many years. We met via WoW, which I've been playing since '14. I don't really remember how far into it we met, though. Where are they right now? lol I wouldn't know, he's all the way in Jersey. Plus we haven't talked in a while. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? God no, that would be so weird. What is the best gift someone can give you? An ear to listen without it feeling like a chore to them. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. I don't think I could do it. What is the last movie that made you cry? The The Lion King remake made me tear up. Have you ever played in a waterfall? No. Ugh, that sounds like a blast. In your life who has meant the most to you? Let's not get into this. What has been your biggest failure in life? Letting depression and my other conditions take away my identity, becoming my new identity. Do you trust yourself? No. I second-guess EVERYTHING and never know what I should listen to: my heart, my head, my gut... or which voice is what. Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes. What was the last bug you killed? Some kind in the bathroom. Idk what it was. Just a little thing that sort of resembled an earwig, but not completely. Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? By myself, since it's my page. Do you know anyone who has written a book? I don't think so? Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? Ew, no. I live with another person, and even if I didn't, what if I had guests? Has anyone ever told you they liked you in a realllly sweet way? Maybe? Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewlery? Jason has. Do you find sleeping in cars easy? NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm too scared to let my eyes close and not see what's going on on the road. Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? I don't believe so, no. What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Definitely something my niece has said, but idr what it was. What’s been on your mind lately? Y'all know, lol. Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? No. Sara was recently there for that. ♥ How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Be very very excited if it was from a certain person.