#its wasteland was empty its people were empty

[cainecase]

I've been playing fallout 1 lately, all good fun but it really highlights how much Bethesda's fallouts suck.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Christopher Brown’s ‘A Natural History of Empty Lots’

On SEPTEMBER 24th, I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!

Christopher Brown is an accomplished post-cyberpunk sf writer, a tech lawyer with a sideline in public interest environmental law, the proud owner of one of the most striking homes I have ever seen, and an urban pastoralist who writes about wildlife in ways I've never seen and can't get enough of:

https://fieldnotes.christopherbrown.com/

All of these facets of Brown's identity come together today with the launch of A Natural History of Empty Lots: Field Notes from Urban Edgelands, Back Alleys and other Wild Places:

https://christopherbrown.com/a-natural-history-of-empty-lots/

This is a frustratingly hard to summarize book, because it requires a lot of backstory and explanation, and one of the things that makes this book so! fucking! great! is how skillfully Brown weaves all that stuff into his telling. Which makes me feel self-conscious as I try to summarize things, because there's no way I'll do this as well as he did, but whatever, here goes.

Brown is a transplant from rural Iowa to Austin, where he set out to start a family, practice tech law during the dotcom boom, and write science fiction, as part of a circle of writers loosely associated with cyberpunk icon @brucesterling. After both the economy and his marriage collapsed, Brown started his restless perambulations around Austin's abandoned places, sacrifice zones, the bones of failed housing starts and abandoned dot-crash office parks.

When he did, something changed in him. Slowly, his eyes learned to see things that they had just skipped over. Plants, animals, and spoor and carapaces and dens of all description, all around him, a secret world. These were not pockets of "wilderness" in the city, but they were pockets of wildness. Birds' nests woven with plastic fibers scavenged from nearby industrial dumpsters; trees taking root in half-submerged tires rolled into a creekbed, foxes and rodents playing out a real-life version of the classic ecosystem simulation exercise on the edge of an elevated highway that fills the same function as the edge of a woodland where predator and prey meet.

As Brown fell in love again – with the artist and architect Agustina Rodriguez – he conceived of a genuinely weird and amazing plan to build a house. A very weird house, in a very weird place. He bought a plot of wasteland that had once housed the head-end of an oil pipeline (connected to a nearby oil-storage facility that poisoned the people who lived near it, in an act of wanton environmental racism) and had been used as a construction-waste dump for years.

After securing an extremely unlikely loan, Brown remediated the plot, excavating the oil pipeline, then building the most striking home you have ever seen in the resulting trench. Brown is a pal of mine, and this is where I stay when I'm in Austin, and I can promise you, the pictures don't do it justice:

https://www.texasmonthly.com/style/christopher-brown-edgeland-house-austin/

Formally, A Natural History of Empty Lots is a memoir that explains all of this. But not really. Like I say, this is just the back story. What Natural History really is, is a series of loosely connected essays that explains how everything fits together: colonial conquest, Brown's failed marriage, his experience as a lawyer learning property law, what he learned by mobilizing that learning to help his neighbors defend the pockets of wildness that refuse to budge.

It's an erudite book, skipping back through millennia of history, sidewise through the ecology of Texas, all while somehow serving as a kind of spotter's guide to the wild things you can see in Austin – and maybe, in your town – if you know how to look. It's a book about how people change the land, and how the land changes people. It is filled with pastoral writing that summons Kim Stanley Robinson by way of Thoreau, and it sometimes frames its philosophical points the way a cyberpunk writer would – like Neal Stephenson writing a cyberpunk trilogy that is also the story of Leibniz and Newton fighting over credit for inventing calculus:

https://memex.craphound.com/2004/11/20/neal-stephensons-system-of-the-world-concludes-the-baroque-trilogy/

Brown is a stupendous post-cyberpunk writer, and also a post-cyberpunk person, which I've known for sure since I happened upon him one morning, thoughtfully mowing his roof with a scythe:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/46433979075/

You can get a sense of what that means in this lockdown-era joint presentation that Chris, Bruce Sterling and I did on "cyberpunk and post-cyberpunk":

https://archive.org/details/asl-cyberpunk

Brown is a spectacular novelist. His ecofascist civil war trilogy that opens with Tropic of Kansas got so much right about the politics of American demagoguery and was perfectly timed with the Trump presidency:

https://memex.craphound.com/2017/07/11/tropic-of-kansas-making-america-great-again-considered-harmful/

The sequel, Rule of Capture, uses the device of courtroom drama in a way that comes uncomfortably close to the Orwell/Kafka mashup that the authorities have created to deal with environmental protesters:

https://memex.craphound.com/2019/08/12/rule-of-capture-inside-the-martial-law-tribunals-that-will-come-when-climate-deniers-become-climate-looters-and-start-rendering-environmentalists-for-offshore-torture/

And the final volume, Failed State, is one of the most complicated complicated utopias you could ask for. This is what people mean by "thrilling conclusion":

https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/12/failed-state/#chris-brown

As brilliant as Brown is in fiction mode, his nonfiction is unclassifiably, unforgettably brilliant. A Natural History of Empty Lots is the kind of book that challenges how you feel about the crossroads we're at, the place you live, and the place you want to be.

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this month!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/17/cyberpunk-pastoralism/#time-to-mow-the-roof

[bowieandqueen11]

Exchanging Pleasantries / Cooper Howard Imagine

Request: Could you please do hurt/comfort with The Ghoul? Like, maybe you got hurt during a fight with Raiders and he's being mean while stitching you up. Thanks pookie bookie ily

Omg bb @itsyellow ily too I couldn't wait to write this!! Hit me with that hurt/comfort that's my jam son

Also did I make this full of unresolved sexual tension? Frick yeah I did

As always, if you enjoyed please drop a comment to help me out and let me know!

Warning: slightly NSFW/ making out, mentions of injury and violence, slight mention of a choking kink? and some strong language!

(I do not own Fallout or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @goodsirs.)

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°

'Y'know, you may be one of the stupidest goddamn people left on this planet. And I've seen a hell of a lotta stupid people.'

You know better to think that the one and only Ghoul: the slinking shadow that steadily tails and entraps every inch of the starkly barren world he can reach, the infamous bounty feared in every town, from Philly to Rivet City, would be one for pleasantries. Yet, even during your brief period travelling with the man across the wake of the formerly 'glorious' West-coast America, his callousness often left you wishing for the sweet silence of a Nuclear Winter.

Even Cooper Howard himself recognises the fact that he doesn't exactly, well, radiate off anything that could be called close to a succouring nature. Hell, he would be happy to radiate off anything that wouldn't have you spending his valuable time making detours to wandering doctors holed up in blood-splattered tents to use his hard-earned money in bartering for caps off your next bottle of Rad-X. He supposes, as you had shaken the bottle in front of his frowning face and wandered back off into the crowning desert sun, that if he could work himself back up to being unenthused, he would be able to count it as his first win in over two hundred years.

'Well, if you tried to stop fighting every single person still left out here I wouldn't have to risk my ass stupidly running in to save you', you retort, gnashing your teeth and trying your best not to squirm against his chest as he rips a fragment of broken plate from the back of your shoulder.

It wasn't often that you were allowed to light a fire in the wilds of the Wasteland: far too many radroach nibble bites littered your legs, far too many gash-covered tentacles slashes from the repulsive Centaurs marked your outer arms. However, as the two of you had spent your seemingly so lovely afternoon out on the highway being ambushed by a group of bloodthirsty Raiders, you had browbeaten the Ghoul into allowing the two of you such a special treat. An empty bottle of Nuka Cola lies by your faded makeshift floor covering that acts as your mattress, and you sigh in relief as the warmth of the flames licks across your tired arms.

Your soon drawn out of your repose by the feel of The Ghoul's cowboy boots thumping against either side of your legs; he awkwardly tries to leave enough room that he's not straddling your back, but his legs won't quite dip down enough to be more than halfway off the floor.

It leaves him having to scrape himself forward until his groin is nearly pressed against your tailbone, and you can feel the hem of his hat brush up your neck as he idly surveys the extent of your injuries. As he fidgets the strap of your vest down past the joint of your shoulder, you have to breathe in sharply to stop yourself grunting at the sharp scratch of his glove's rough seams as he drags his hand down.

'You're right', he runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek, dragging a strip of musty cloth out of his satchel bag and pressing it against your oozing wound. 'Your ass really is fucking stupid if you think that you were helpin'.' You grimace as a flash of stimulation and mortification flashes through your body; whether the pain in your gut is from the flesh wounds or from the clutch of thick leather as the Ghoul tantalisingly rakes his fingers up the tender skin of your shoulder and grips, you're too distracted to try and find out.

Sweeping your eyes over the fire-brushed ground that cracked and and crumbled underneath your heel, you can understand his frustration at you. At the world. Scorch marks litter the dusty ground around your make-shift campsite, the plasma rifles and energy weapons the Fiends had managed to barter, steal, and smuggle out from the Van Graffs stock lying in blasted pieces around the fragments of rusted metal once shielding the long gone diesel pumps. The violence - the anger, it always seemed never ending. Gosh, what you wouldn't give for a canopy right now: to stop the sun burns from blistering your face, to hide the sudden hush of shame and embarrassment that rose flush up your face like a mushroom cloud.

'Yeah, well, I did come running- you're welcome, by the way-', you start, but the Ghoul, as venomous a man as he is, cuts short your reply by prodding the point of one of the needles holding the tail edge of his coat together into the hanging flaps of your skin. Your hand balls into a fist as you feel the sharp tip scrape over muscle; you try your best not to whimper as his poison slits through your veins and slithers down to corrode your very soul, but the relief. Oh, god, corruption has never felt so good as the Ghoul's free hand sliding down to cup your ribcage. His middle and ring finger took turns tapping against your waist, a slight huff coming from his mouth and tingling against the shell of your ear.

At first, you think the Ghoul is mad at you: pissed off that if any of the Raiders had survived and scampered off back to their chem-den to frenziedly retell their confrontation with a certain duster-clad gunslinger, a certain ruthless reputation - a certain long upheld persona, would be tarnished. That he was aggravated in having to waste his dwindling supply of bullets in wasting the spiky-hair fiend that had sprung out from the door of the thought abandoned Red Rocket Truck Stop just as you were busy body slamming his friend to the ground. That he was embittered at the fact that you had the incredibly anserine idea to stop off in the middle of goddamn nowhere: somewhere straight off your Pip-Boy map to nestle down for the night on your route to the New Vegas strip.

Enraged, indeed, by the fact that he may have to admit that he wanted to save your life.

'You call that running?', he puffs out a chuckle, unceremoniously wiping the blood of the needle by using the back of your vest. 'I call that leaping up yonder head over ass across that Nuka-Cola machine.' He lets go of your side, much to your disappoint, and looks at you disapprovingly as you turn around to face him. He's waving the syringe edge of a stimpak in your general direction, and you make sure to slap his hand extra hard as you grab it off him.

'You know, cowboy, you were the one that asked me to tag along. Not the other way round', you groan in exhilaration as you stab the needle into the knife wound on your thigh, and that first hit of the Stimpak courses through your muscle. Cooper has to clench his fingers into the leather of his fist to stop himself from going feral right there and then. He sniffs loudly, scrunching up his nose and casting his gaze to the fireside to try and hide his displeasure.

'Well', he manages to choke out between clenched teeth, gripping onto his own leg so harshly he wonders if he's drawn blood between his claws, 'you are such delightful company.'

For the first time in his life, Cooper Howard wants to just... ride away from his problems. That's all you were supposed to be: a solution. A resource. Another object to exploit, to foist upon his own callous needs so that he may survive another day in this merciless hell pit. A life for a hundred and fifty vials felt like a mighty fair trade in the disintegrating shit-show of post-apocalyptic commerce.

It had been easier that way, luring you away from the only small shack left among the rubble of the underground Subway Station that the Fiends hadn't left splattered with blotted rivers of crimson and half-mangled body parts. It had been so much simpler, as he had shoved the still fresh bodies of the murderers and cannibals off the side of the Metro escalator, that he was here to save you. That he had no knowledge of the bounty held over your head by the Enclave, or of the reasons that you had become so... acquainted with the New California Republic during your month long travels for the Crimson Caravan Company. As the door had groaned open, he was left pointing his pistol in your face: a towering penumbra, larger than life, that seemed to swallow every inch of swinging lamplight around your doorway in a veiled sinfulness. He had found it so much easier, as he peered down at your gloomy face and smirked as the unmistakable sound of a Ripper reared closer to his head, that he was here to be your saviour.

That's right. As he had offered you protection: a safe route away, a constant presence, your second shadow on your journey back to the Strip for only a measly few caps, he had found it so much easier to pretend that this wasn't personal. That the way you shook his hand hadn't made his skin prickle, hadn't been the first thing his nerves had alighted at since the last fading memory he had of caressing his wife. That the way you had strapped your leather armour pauldron around your left shoulder, and pulled up the hem of your trouser leg to strap a hidden knife to your calf didn't have him unconsciously dragging his tongue along the cracks of his bottom lip, and left him staring in bemusement. The incredulousness that had his eyes glazing over and the bottom of his stomach clenching as the two of you pried open the doors back up to the surface, and he had nonchalantly inquired as to who had... disposed of the Fiends before his arrival here. You had just shrugged, throwing a smirk at him from behind your shoulder, and he couldn't help but feel his own mouth twitch up to mirror your reaction.

It had been so, so much easier to pretend that you were just another bounty. That you were the first person, since he had lost Janey in another life, that had made him feel something other than contempt. Or worse, nihility. Nothingness. Just a hodgepodge script of fabricated and fictional lines that he reeled off as if it were more than just second-nature; an amalgamation of everything hollow and horrid that he had spent so much of his long-lost life trying desperately to bury.

But Cooper knew better than anyone, that nothing, and no one, could stay buried forever.

And with every returned smile: every lingering brush of some Caravan Trader's fingers on your arm as they tried to sell you some over-priced snake oil, every repulsive simper of a NCR trooper as they tried to buy you a bottle of vodka during your rare stops at some remote barrack, had the rot he had constructed within his soul become that little bit more mutilating.

The silence between you is deafening. And so you do something really stupid: you decide to ask him about his dirt-stained outfit.

'So', you drawl, turning yourself around so your legs are crossed out by your side, doing your best to stay firmly seated between the tensing muscles of the Ghoul's thick thighs. He draws his spurs in a line across the sand, but to your astonishment, and wild delight, he doesn't pull his legs open any further. 'Did you rob a real cowboy or something? I didn't think they were real. The only ones we ever saw were those rugged, way too contrived looking ones on those old movies.'

Your fingers curl over the edges of his collar, tentatively letting your fingers drop to rest against the sharp gap against his breastbone.

A muscle in Cooper's jaw jumps.

Oh. Oh. You'd never seen him actually angry before, behind all that cowboy western shooter charade.

For a moment, you're worried you've offended him somehow; a faraway look seems to draw him into the pale billows that smoke up from the orange flames, and a look that you've never seen before- never could even contemplate drooping the face of the suddenly so haggard looking man sitting by your side flitted across his scrunching face.

Forlorn. He looked so forlorn.

Neither of you are sure if he's even conscious of his arm moving, snaking itself across the small of your back to clutch almost painfully against the meat of your hip. His thumb strokes against the outline of your bone: probing, testing, clawing and pinching as if he had repeated the action over and over and over again in his mind.

'This? This is as old as the dirt and the worms.'

He doesn't react, doesn't move the frozen stone of his stoic face when you hesitantly grip onto his fingers, and slowly... god, so slowly, pull his glove off and drop it on the ground. Suddenly feeling so exhausted, your droop your head down against the dried sweat on your neck and watch yourself place your hand gingerly over his own, holding him in a wary vice against your side.

'What... what's a worm', you tentatively ask, your eyes wide open in worry that your question might break the provisionary affinity of this moment.

Cooper actually... snorts, a smirk threatening to break across his face as he looks out of the corner of his eye at you. 'An 'ol creature that used to live under the soil.' His eyes burn a hole into your irises, and he finally cracks out in a sallow grin as he contemplates the fact that he has your whole, enraptured attention. 'In fact, almost a whole lot like you.'

You smack his shoulder, but he only tilts his head back with an inquisitive gloat on his lips. He tips his head down, moving his other free hand to grab and squeeze the other side of your waist, making you woefully buck back against the bottom button of his shirt as the pit of your bottom begins to thrum with a devastating heat.

'Now', you can hear the teasing in his voice as he dips his spine down to hover over the shell of your ear. 'The real question is, where in the sweet hell would you have seen such heinous films such as those?'

His hand crawls like sweet spiderwebs across to your bellybutton, taking your breath away as he cups his palm against your skin and carts you back till your resting against the side of his chin, entangling you against the last vestige of the man he's entombed within the Stygian shadows.

'My ma used to show them to me and my brother if we had been extra good. She spent a whole three months saving up whatever metal scraps she could scavenge to go trade over at the General Store in Goodsprings and buy ourselves a real life television. The picture was blurry as shit, and we only had one holotape that I swear I ended up being able to quote back to front by the time I was sick of watching it. But hell, if we didn't crowd around the floor in wonder and dream about being a mysterious, rifle swinging stranger that roamed around the wastes saving people.'

Cooper purses his lips, swallowing thickly as he lassos your words in a whirlwind around his mind. After what seems like an eternity of listening to the soft whistle blow through the cartilage of his nose, of noting the quiet scurry of Bark Scorpions barbing through the pale tufts of faraway brushes, and the sound of your own heart hammering against your ribcage, each hit cracking your ribcage open with a sledgehammer, Cooper grumbles a reply.

'Y'know, there's an old saying back where I'm from - one that those folks in those movies you... respected use' to say. Feo, fuerte y formal. It means you're ugly, strong, and dignified. And shit, I can say for sure that you've got ugly ticked off that list.'

'You cheeky shit-', you start, but you can't help but shove your hand against your mouth to stop yourself from laughing. With a jolt forward over your stomach, you wince at the pain that flashes through your body at your only recently closed wounds. The Ghoul snarkily utters a tut tut, making you actually fucking whimper aloud this time when his hands grab your love handles, lifts you up, and slaps you down atop his lap. A faint slip from the curve of your buttocks sliding down to settle against his inner thigh has him hissing against the back of your head.

Even though there was no chance of it ever occurring, the Ghoul loosely clenched his fingers around your throat and tilted your head back until your throat went dry, as if daring you to move away from him again.

'Ain't your fault darlin'', he twangs out in that hoarse voice of his, his tongue flicking as smooth as molasses against the shell of your ear: his pointed edge darting a sticky trail up to your inner ear. 'It ain't your fault that you look like a molerat.'

You snort, and Cooper finds himself smiling at the sound of a noise he hasn't heard since his daughter was... since his daughter was...

'You remind me of someone I used to know, you know that? She was... she was far too sweet. Far too good for all this shit too.'

'Aha, there he is.' You wrestle out of his grasp and turn your head disbelievingly. The Ghoul looks almost taken aback, before he draws back into himself and fixes himself to stare you down. 'Finally making an appearance after all this time, are we? Good to see I'm finally getting through to you.'

'Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?', he bares his teeth, gnashing them together almost instinctively.

'I mean, I think that was as close to an honest exchange with the man inside you I'm ever going to have.'

That makes him start.

Pensively, he watches you, assessing and appraising the quirks and emotions that wander across your face as he waits for you to finish your accusation.

'And unless you stop sticking your blaster in the face of every creature that walks and talks, probably your last as well.'

The Ghoul swallows thickly, doing his best to seem as straight laced as usual, but growing more and more discourteous in his manner by the almost sinful way he's darting your eyes down to your lips and allowing them to hover there. 'Now darlin', I'm only exchanging pleasantries.'

'Is that really what you'd call yourself? And here I thought it was cantankerous.'

'Considering the literal crap-hole you grew up in I'm surprised you even know that word, now.'

'The sewers are empty, Cowboy - I'd say there's more piss on you from Dogmeat than down there. Besides, I lived in a Subway Station... asshole', you spit out at your feet, hitting the fragmented remains of one of your assailants helmet spikes.

A jab pokes at your inner thigh; the clenched thumb of the Ghoul branding into your skin as he finally looks you dead in the eyes with a cold stare. 'And there you are.'

And yet there's something. There's something lingering there, in the dark. In the swirl of his irises. In the only part of his body that still remains fully intact. Fully him. Something valorous. A convolution of steadfastness and pride. An imploringness.

'Suppose...', you inhale sharply, not realising that the two of you have managed to claw and scrape and crawl inch by inch closer to each other during your... showdown. 'Suppose', you buck your knees forward until you have enough leverage to haunch yourself up and turn, using the exertion to swivel yourself round and straddle the Ghoul's legs. Your gaze dips down to watch the purse of his strangled lips, his head slowly raising itself to unmask itself from the murk. 'That we aren't so different after all.'

Before you have time to regret your words, the stout pressure of clashing thumbs and fingers have jerked against your chin and pulled you down to smash against Cooper's mouth. Gnashing teeth pull at your bottom lip without a moment's warning, slicing down to draw blood. Cooper pulls back to snarl, before diving back in and licking away the thin trail of blood driplets that dribble down your chin dimple with the flat edge of his impoverished tongue.

Your chest rises and falls in quick succession as the man leaning his weight eagerly against your stomach ravishes you, growling as he reaches down to pull at the bottom of your thighs, and raise your knees up so he can cup your ass and knead the sweet flesh.

Part of you wants to rip his clothes off him right there and then, part of the recesses of your mind worries about the impending danger of the Wastelands: a roaming gang of looters, the unlucky shimmer that forewarns the arrival of a Nightstalker, but all of you wants to slam your hands around the side of this man's face and knock him straight to the ground with the ferocity of your kiss.

Before you can even make it past the squishing his cheeks phase, you’re distracted from your plan by the pressure point of his fingers teasingly prodding against the outline of your inseam. You can't enact your plan - you can't, not when you can feel the tip of his finger run slowly... slowly... god! So agonisingly slowly up your inner thigh. Can feel the warm, almost ruinating nibble of his top teeth against the pulse point of your neck, before he leaves an apologetic slide of his inner lip against it: something bright and burning and beautiful making the nerves of his body scream as it gnaws away at their rot.

Perhaps, perhaps there was still time for the Ghoul to exhume the mouldering remains of Cooper Howard after all.

[thankskenpenders]

Sonic Prime Season 3: Final episodes, final thoughts

Well, here we are. The final seven episodes of Sonic Prime are out on Netflix, concluding the story of Sonic's adventures in the Shatterverse. I've previously shared my thoughts on the first and second seasons, which I was pretty mixed on, but there were still glimmers of hope. The fluid animation, Shadow being fun in all his appearances, Nine being fairly interesting as a jaded alternate version of Tails, etc. There was enough to make me believe that after some highs and lows there was still the possibility that this show could end on a high note - or at least a decent note.

This did not happen.

Sonic Prime's final season sucks. The ending sucks, and the road to get there sucks. It's left me wondering what the point of all this even was. There are still moments I like that I'll try to highlight, and the animators and voice cast are still clearly giving it their all, but these efforts sadly don't outweigh the overwhelming mediocrity of the story. I would barely even recommend other Sonic fans who are on the fence go out of their way to finish it. I won't begrudge people who got more out of this show than I did, but I think overall I just really, really dislike Sonic Prime.

...The problem, of course, is that all other discussion of the show has been overshadowed by needlessly hostile arguments over its place in Sonic's canon. So we've gotta talk about that, too.

(This post will contain full spoilers for Sonic Prime.)

The show's out of ideas but they've gotta stretch that shit out to hit the 23 episode mark somehow

Season 2 ended with the big twist that Nine decided to betray Sonic and Shadow, taking the Paradox Prism for himself so that he could go turn the empty world of the Grim into his own little paradise, since he doesn't believe he'll fit anywhere else. Nine has made himself the true big bad of the show.

The main impact this has is that now, instead of fighting endless identical Eggforcer bots and members of the Chaos Council over and over, the good guys and the Chaos Council have to fight endless Chaos Sonic-style robots sent by Nine while he goes "grrrrr I need Sonic's energy to stabilize the Paradox Prism." This continues for six whole episodes until the series finale, when the show decides it's time for Sonic and Nine to quickly make amends, fix everything, and send Sonic and Shadow home.

That's pretty much the whole season.

I cannot emphasize enough just how much of this final season is just fight after fight after fight against Nine's bots, and how fucking boring that gets. The season feels like one long, drawn out final battle that did not need to be nearly this long, but Nine had his big heel turn 2/3 of the way through the show and we've gotta fill up the rest of the time somehow. The novelty of the bots being based off of Sonic's friends (including the Chocobo-sized Birdie from the jungle world) really wears off quickly when they're just used as generic, silent mooks that the good guys have to fight by the dozen like it's the climax of an MCU movie. The first episode of the season with Sonic and Shadow fighting the new bots is pretty good, especially because Sonic and Shadow's dynamic is one of the few redeeming aspects of this show's writing, but after that it just gets boring. Three full episodes in a row are spent showing all the characters fighting robots in an empty wasteland while Nine scowls next to a big beam of energy. I found myself missing the in-your-face attitude of Chaos Sonic so much. He truly was one of the best parts of this show.

While the cast is busy fighting all these robots for what feels like an eternity, various things of varying levels of interest happen. There's a halfhearted attempt to have some kind of rivalry between Shadow and the main Grim Sonic throughout the final battle, but it completely falls flat because Grim Sonic has no personality whatsoever. It's like Shadow beefing with an above-average Egg Pawn. (Actually, no, that would be funny.) There's also a death fakeout with the two other versions of Tails, where they make a makeshift bomb and throw it a little too close to themselves on the battlefield and seem to get vaporized. If they had actually died there they would have had the funniest, most pointless deaths in the entire franchise.

I also realized at one point that they were trying to do the Avengers girl power fight thing with the three versions of Amy fighting a bunch of Rouge bots. This was very funny to me. Actually, so much of this is just following the tired MCU formula to the letter. Fighting over a macguffin, two armies just kind of running at each other and clashing in a big empty field, constant one-liner quips instead of actual jokes, the need to take out key targets to make the whole enemy army disappear, a villain who has a point but has to randomly hurt people so that there's an excuse for the heroes to fight him. When combined with how shit the multiverse stuff is, this whole show really is just Man of Action tackling some of the most played out storytelling tropes in modern pop culture in the most bland way possible. What a bunch of hacks.

By far, the one truly fun thing that happens in this protracted final battle is when a giant robot based on Big appears. It doesn't have arms or legs, but it can swing itself around to use its tail like a giant mace, and it can also shoot Froggy-shaped missiles out of its mouth. I wish the rest of the show was even half as fun as this. Again, Sonic Prime has just enough good moments to make you mad that the rest of the show isn't better.

The thing is, all this repetitive (but well-animated) action and the thin excuse plot would be totally serviceable if I just gave a shit about the characters involved. But I don't. I don't care what happens to the pirate version of Amy who goes "arrr." I don't care about what happens to Hipster Eggman. And unfortunately, by the end, I didn't really care about Nine, either.

Nine as a villain

It's hard to criticize the story here without it coming off as a broad condemnation of the tropes at play. The thing is, I like many stories that try to do similar things. I love clashes between heroes and villains that are really just fantastical exaggerations of more personal conflicts. I love stories where a tragic, sympathetic villain lashes out at the world as an expression of the pain they feel, and a compassionate hero just has to get through to them. I eat that shit right up. Undertale is my favorite game ever made. Shit, I love other Sonic stories that do these exact things. And Sonic having to fight an alternate timeline version of Tails also has so much potential for drama!

So I can very easily imagine a version of the show where all this works for me. That just isn't the version we got.

Like I said last time, Nine's motivation is just too sympathetic and understandable for his sudden turn to supervillainy to make any sense. He just wanted to start over somewhere where he can be happy after a childhood filled with bullying and loneliness. Nine betraying Sonic and stealing the Paradox Prism to go make his own world? That tracks! Especially since we don't even know if Nine will still exist if Sonic goes through with his plan to restore his original world! But trying to kill everyone in New Yolk City by tilting the world 90 degrees, intentionally targeting the civilian population because it'll get to Sonic? Nope! Sorry, that's a bridge too far. I don't buy it. He's jaded and antisocial, but he doesn't strike me as cruel. Writing in an excuse about him needing Sonic's energy to fix the Prism does not make this make more sense.

This was really just one of those conflicts where it felt like everyone should stop and talk it out. Instead we got six episodes of fighting before one of Sonic's many, MANY attempts at reasoning with Nine throughout the season finally works. This isn't me pulling some Cinema Sins bullshit where I complain about characters in a work of fiction not always behaving rationally - the real problem is that it's just so damn repetitive waiting for this conflict to resolve. This could have been wrapped up in two or three episodes and instead it takes seven.

A brief aside about that weird Dorkly-ass Sonic Advance 3 flashback scene hacked together with mismatched sprites where Gemerl happens to be present, presumably just because he's a part of the sprite for the Sunset Hill boss, and seeing him briefly makes me remember the extended cast from the games and how much I wish they had just made a cartoon about them instead of a bunch of stock characters wearing the skin of Sonic's friends, but then Gemerl just explodes with the boss machine at the end while Eggman is shown to get away so I guess Gemerl just dies in this flashback

Yeah that sure happened huh

The ending

Despite having a final battle that felt like an eternity, Sonic Prime is a show that just kind of... ends. And that ending is weird and haphazard.

The understanding I had was that Sonic's normal world had "shattered" when the Paradox Prism was destroyed, and from those remnants these new worlds were created. This is why they use terms like "Shatterverse" and "Shatterspaces" and why there's shattered glass/crystal/whatever imagery everywhere. This is a broken, fragmented version of the real universe. Right? Right?? Isn't that the entire premise of the show? And therefore, if the universe has been shattered, then fixing it means putting all the shattered pieces back together. Which I would assume means that the Shatterspaces cease to exist.

So, in the ending... Sonic's world seems to just exist as another Shatterspace. Restoring the Paradox Prism doesn't seem to combine the worlds or anything, it just fixes the broken portal to Sonic's world that exists alongside all the others. So... what exactly was the point of all the shattered glass symbolism?

Things only get more confusing as the ending progresses. Shadow brings Sonic through the portal before the draining of Sonic's whatever energy makes him disappear, and they're transported back in time to right before Sonic broke the Paradox Prism. Only Sonic seems to remember what happened (Shadow might remember, but he doesn't say anything), and with the Paradox Prism never shattered, it's unclear if the Shatterspaces exist now.

I'm not particularly hung up on the time loop ending. It's very much in line with all sorts of classic morality tales like A Christmas Carol or It's a Wonderful Life, where the flawed protagonist goes through some kind of magical experience and then returns home with a new appreciation for the people in their life. It's always been pretty obvious that was the type of story they were telling. I'm more bothered by the fact that there's no time whatsoever spent on whether or not the other worlds and the characters in them continue to exist. Sonic seems to act like the worlds will go on without him before he leaves, but it's not like we get an ending scene that shows how the other worlds are doing, so they really truly might as well not exist anymore. Sonic just wraps up the adventure from the first episode when he gets home, and before he can explain what happened from his perspective he's interrupted by a mysterious energy wave from off-screen and it's off to the next adventure.

(Despite this odd cliffhanger ending, the show is extremely over and not coming back. I have to imagine this is just a "the adventures never end" type ending and not a hint that more shit is going on with the Paradox Prism.)

This ending is also a terrible resolution to Nine's whole arc, despite him being the driving force of so much of the show. The way I see it, there are are three possible fates for him:

The Shatterspaces continue existing, and things go as Sonic expects them to go. Nine is allowed to make the Grim into his own little utopia, and everyone else leaves him alone instead of punishing him for all the trouble he caused. Instead of finding love and acceptance so he can heal from a lifetime of bullying and loneliness, Nine is allowed to run away, isolating himself from every other living being in the multiverse, and live alone as the god of an empty world with only his own creations as company. Sonic was his only friend, and he's gone forever now.

The Shatterspaces continue existing, but because of the time travel ending, most of the events of the show never happened. Sonic never helped defeat the Chaos Council, so they still control New Yolk City. Nine is back to living in this dystopian city with no friends. He never met Sonic.

The Shatterspaces have been erased. After fighting so hard for his right to exist as his own person and not just a "wrong" version of Tails, when the timeline is altered, he just... stops existing. Along with almost every other character in the show.

Do I even need to explain why these are all unsatisfying?

Misc. thoughts

I skimmed over this, but a lot of the final season is just spent seeing Sonic's friends bicker with the Chaos Council and then Sonic has to beg them to get along to save the universe. It gets old.

We also never really got an explanation for why the Chaos Council exists. They can't have come from other Shatterspaces because there ARE no other Shatterspaces. If the original Eggman was just split into five guys or time travel was involved or whatever, it never comes up. I can live with this, but it seems like an odd omission for a children's show that's constantly bogged down in technobabble explaining the mechanics of its extremely small and finite multiverse.

I have no idea where Shadow was for the first part of the final battle. I figured Nine must have captured him off-screen after Sonic first left the Grim, but Shadow was just... hanging around until his cue in the script, I guess?

Sonic saying "help a brother up" to Shadow was funny

Hipster Eggman pointing to one of the few nameless extras who tagged along for the final battle and going "Who are you? Seriously, does anyone know who this is?" was the only funny thing he did in the entire show

Mangy Tails randomly pressing buttons on the Chaos Council's generator like a curious animal and managing to improve its output was cute

Rusty Rose randomly realizes that the Birdie in her chest actually isn't being used as a power source, and that the Chaos Council was just... using that to manipulate her, somehow? I don't really know how that works but whatever

The Sonic Advance 3 flashback uses the actual boss music from the game, but they can't use the real Sunset Hill theme because they didn't wanna pay Masato Nakamura for using the Green Hill motif, I guess

To my fellow fans of bad games: did you know that Man of Action wrote the story for the bizarre Square Enix game The Quiet Man? The one where the lengthy FMV cutscenes play out with muffled audio and no subtitles because the protagonist is deaf, so you can't tell what's going on? And you had to do a New Game+ playthrough to actually hear the audio and understand what's going on? The worst-reviewed game of 2018? That one? I only learned that recently and it blew me away

So yeah, that's the end of the show. I didn't like it, and I don't think I liked the show much as a whole. I am far from alone in this sentiment, but the reasons why people dislike the show... those vary a bit.

The canon conundrum

More than anything else, it seems like most other discourse surrounding this show has been consumed by one talking point:

How can this be canon? Why is it canon?

I want to state very clearly up front that I, too, am a person who's noticed and complained about the inconsistencies with the games in Sonic Prime. Some of the characters are a bit off - or, you know, completely unrecognizable when discussing the writing of some of the AU counterparts. I think it's lame to say Sonic and friends all live in Green Hill and act like that's the entirety of their world. That sort of thing. But if Sega says it's canon to everything else? Sure. Fine. There's weirder shit in the canon.

Really, most of this can be explained away pretty easily. The show was written at a time when Sega was still figuring shit out and there were looser restrictions. Why does Sonic act a little more immature? Probably just because Prime is aiming for a slightly younger audience than the games or the IDW comics. (And also it's, y'know, written by Man of Action, who people have accused of only knowing how to write one kind of protagonist for years.) Why do Sonic and friends live in Green Hill? Because that's the most recognizable location from the games, and the game world doesn't get enough screentime to justify modeling multiple different environments, so they just focus on Green Hill. Why is this considered canon to the games? Because this is the first Sonic cartoon that outright references events from the games as things that have happened to Sonic in the past.

But announcing early on that Prime would be canon certainly let fans' imaginations wander. It was one of the few things we knew about the show before it premiered. People wondered if characters from the games and comics who had never made any appearances in Sonic cartoons might get their time in the spotlight. We wondered if it would tie into the lore or any existing storylines in interesting ways, like the IDW comics do. But above all else, we hoped that its canon status would mean that Sonic Prime would finally be the Sonic cartoon that was faithful to the source material with no catches. We've literally never seen the actual world of the games brought to life in a TV show. Sonic X came the closest, but that still took its liberties. And so hype built for this Canon Sonic Cartoon.

And then it actually came out, and after a brief intro in Green Hill based loosely on the games, it spent most of its running time focusing on things like "what if there was a version of Eggman who was a bratty teen who just wanted to play video games?" The disappointment among fans is understandable. I am disappointed. Look at how much I've bitched about this aggressively mid cartoon.

Some fans, however, came up with an elaborate theory about the series. You see, when asked about the show's place in the game timeline during a live Q&A, Ian Flynn (who only served as a consultant on Sonic Prime and did not write any of it) said this:

"I cannot answer because I know the answer, and you haven't finished watching the show yet."

A couple days later, when answering another question about Prime's place in the timeline and also about a writing discrepancy, he said this:

"As to where it fits on the timeline, I can't speak to it because that would spoil the show to a degree. So you're just gonna have to wait 'til it's done. Towards the other point, I don't know how much I can say, so it's probably better that I not comment. That's a really dissatisfying answer, I know, I'm sorry, but my hands are kinda tied on that one."

I feel the need to quote Ian directly here, because these very basic statements about how he can't talk about behind the scenes shit or anything from unreleased episodes was GREATLY misinterpreted by the fandom. People clung onto Ian's claim that we had to keep watching like a life preserver. Some took it as Ian saying that the ending would explain everything. Finally, we'd have a definitive answer for every little discrepancy and the apparent differences in worldbuilding. An explanation for why Sega and the producers repeatedly insist this show HAS to be canon.

And to these fans, the only explanation that made any sense... would be if the ending of Sonic Prime pulled a Flashpoint.

As this theory explained, the Sonic we were following in Sonic Prime wasn't the Sonic we know from the games and the IDW comics, and likewise the world he comes from isn't really the game world. This is a different Sonic who fights a different Eggman in a world that's literally just Green Hill. It was a hint that something was off all along! But in the end of the series, this Sonic would sacrifice himself to merge all of the Shatter Spaces together and form a brand new world, and that would be the more visually diverse world of the games and comics. According to this theory, Sonic Prime was canon because it was a new origin story for the entire franchise.

I want you to really stop and think about how asinine of an origin story this would be. Really drink this in. The idea that there was another, slightly different version of Sonic who went on a kinda shitty multiverse adventure and then sacrificed himself to create the real Sonic that we've known since 1991. People convinced themselves this made more sense than the simple explanation that a different team of writers got some stuff wrong and Sega didn't make them change it. Interviews where producers talked about drawing on Sonic's "mythology" (ie: they reference the games in the show) were taken very literally - they must be saying that Prime's story is mythological in nature, and that this show would be integral to the games' mythology. Why bother making a show that's canon if it's not going to be crucial to that canon, after all?

The final episodes dropped, and none of this happened. Because of course it didn't. It was all Sherlock fandom-level copium. But fans were left confused by the lack of a grand reveal of where Sonic Prime fits in the timeline, believing they had been promised this, and they turned to Ian for an explanation. Ian's answer:

It doesn't matter, b/c Prime wipes itself out. It's sometime after Advance 3*, but otherwise, it's moot. I didn't want to sour anyone's expectations or investment by spoiling how Prime resolves, that's all. If you enjoyed it, awesome. Savor it. If you didn't, then you can safely ignore it. Simple as that.

* About a trillion people have um, actually'd Ian to point out Orbot and Cubot briefly appear in the show, but if we're really being pedantic here we don't actually know how long before Colors Eggman built Orbot and Cubot, so it wouldn't be fully accurate to say a story featuring Orbot and Cubot couldn't be set before Colors. Either way, a story set anywhere around Colors, or at any point later than that, could still be described as "sometime after Advance 3." Advance 3 is just the most recent game that has specific in-game events referenced in the show. Yes I can feel myself morphing into the nerd emoji before your very eyes

Anyway, this is the latest reason Ian is getting death threats on Twitter. This time it's over a show he barely even had any input on!

I'll cut to the chase. It is truly wild to me that people are getting this heated over canonical inconsistencies in a series as historically inconsistent as Sonic, to the point that they think threatening Ian is justified. The aesthetics of the entire world Sonic inhabits change every other game. Sonic Chronicles may no longer be canon due to the Penders lawsuits, but it was canon at one point, and it took huge liberties with Sonic's world, moving Green Hill off of South Island and reinterpreting Station Square as a tiny outpost in a snowy alpine forest region. Characters' personalities change from writer to writer and based on what Sega wants at the time, with some being WILDLY different across different games. One game Sonic will be stoic and cool, the next he thinks "Baldy McNosehair" is the funniest thing ever. Sega's STILL trying to figure out what Amy's personality is supposed to be. We still don't have the explanation for how the two seemingly contradictory backstories for Blaze can fit together. There have been multiple huge, sweeping retcons, and retcons to those retcons. Sonic Forces claims that Classic Sonic is from an entirely different universe than Modern Sonic, and the plot only makes any sense if that's true - otherwise, Modern Sonic would have already known Eggman was going to beat him and take over the world when he did, because his younger self had already lived through that war. All of that makes no sense in the newly reunified timeline, but Forces is very much still canon.

For fuck's sake, we're talking about the series where Eggman blew up half the moon and then it looked completely normal in every other game after, explained away as "the moon just rotated so we can't see the destroyed side from Earth." This has never, ever, ever been a franchise where everything lines up perfectly with no issues. It's not that serious.

The real core problem with Prime isn't that things don't line up 100% with our current understanding of canon, or that Sonic's characterization means this can't be the real Sonic, or anything like that. The problem, as I've been saying this whole time, is that the story is bad. None of these discrepancies would truly matter if the story was better. They'd just be nitpicks. The fact that Sonic and friends live in Green Hill would be the farthest thing from my mind if the drama was more engaging, if the villains were better, if the jokes were actually funny, if more of the alternate universe counterparts of Sonic's friends had more than one generic character trait each, if the multiverse was more creative and varied, if the final seven episodes of this show didn't devolve into the third act of an MCU movie and then just arbitrarily end, if Nine's character arc actually had a satisfying conclusion instead of ending with either isolation or nonexistence. Maybe we'd be seeing people talk about more than just whether or not it should be considered canon if the writing was any good.

"Canon" is not real, and it sure as hell isn't worth sending people death threats over. It's a storytelling tool. Real human beings decide what does and doesn't go into that canon, or how much they do or don't want to draw on past stories, when creating a new story. Serving that canon is secondary to creating a story where the emotional truth resonates with the audience. And Sonic Prime failed to do that. That is its true failing.

And finally, to close out...

Since people will ask, here are my current ranking of the Sonic TV shows, now that Prime is finished.

Sonic Boom

Sonic SatAM

Sonic X

The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

Sonic Prime

Sonic Underground

Yes, I'd say Boom is my favorite. It's far from my ideal Sonic cartoon, but it gets a lot of points for being as funny as it is. But the top four are all shows I'd say I like, more or less. They all have their pros and cons.

So now, uh... I guess let's hope the live action Knuckles show coming to Paramount+ is better than the underwhelming synopsis of "Knuckles helps deputy sheriff Wade train in the ways of the echidna warrior" would imply? Maybe we'll get lucky?

[thirtysomethingloser92]

Voided

You don’t even remember how this infatuation with Remy LeBeau started, if you’re being honest with yourself. It’s like a slow burn that sneaked up on you—a flame that steadily grew until you could no longer ignore its warmth. Maybe it was bound to happen, living in a wasteland where hope was a scarce commodity, and comfort even rarer. When you’re stuck in a place made for misfits and people who don’t belong anywhere else, you start clinging to whatever fragments of humanity you can find. And Remy, with his charm and his secrets, was one of those fragments.

The days in the wasteland stretched on endlessly, a relentless cycle of survival. You’d leave the makeshift home you’d found with the others, setting out with Remy to scavenge for supplies, to find something—anything—that would make life a little more bearable. Those days were brutal, the kind that wore down your spirit until you felt like there was nothing left but the dust in your lungs and the ache in your bones. But it was in those long, drawn-out hours where the sun seemed to hang forever in a dead sky that you started to see Remy differently.

At first, it was the little things. The way he always seemed to know when to crack a joke, pulling you out of whatever dark thoughts had taken hold. The way he’d notice when you were tired, and without a word, offer to carry the heavier pack or suggest taking a break. It was the way he listened—really listened—when you talked. And you did talk. You talked because the silence was unbearable, a yawning void that threatened to swallow you whole if you let it. If you were left alone with the silence, then you would begin to think. And once you started thinking you weren’t sure if you were able to dig yourself out of where it would lead you.

The silence was your enemy in those moments. It wasn’t just the absence of sound; it was the absence of everything that made you feel alive. It was a reminder of all the things that had been ripped away from you, all the things you couldn’t afford to dwell on for too long. The silence made the wasteland feel even more desolate, more hopeless. It was a void that echoed with your own fears, your own loneliness. So you filled it with words—endless streams of conversation that helped you keep the darkness at bay.

You’d talk about anything and everything, just to keep the silence at arm’s length. Sometimes you’d ramble about the past, about the world before it all went to hell. Other times, you’d speculate about the future, about what might be waiting for you if you ever made it out of this nightmare. And Remy would listen, his red-on-black eyes watching you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. He didn’t interrupt, didn’t judge. He just let you speak, as if your words were the only thing keeping the world from crumbling around you.

Blade had made comments about your constant talking. He’d tease you about it, saying you could fill a library with the stories you told. But even he would admit that when you weren’t there, the world seemed too loud, too empty. Without your voice to fill the gaps, the silence became oppressive, a weight that pressed down on all of you. In a way, your words were a lifeline, a thread that kept the group tethered to some semblance of normalcy.

But it was different with Remy. With him, your words felt less like a defense mechanism and more like a connection—a fragile, tentative connection that you were scared to acknowledge, let alone embrace. Because acknowledging it meant admitting that you were vulnerable, that you cared more than you should in a place like this. And caring was dangerous. Caring was a weakness you couldn’t afford. But as much as you tried to push those feelings down, they kept bubbling up, impossible to ignore. You were scared of the ‘what ifs’. The ‘what ifs’ are what got you pruned to the void to begin with.

At first, it was just the small things—how his voice carried a hint of warmth, even on the coldest of nights when the wind cut through your layers like a knife. It was the way he always seemed to know exactly when to crack a joke, the kind that could slice through the oppressive atmosphere that clung to your group like a shroud. His humor was a balm, a brief escape from the grim reality that surrounded you. And then there were those crimson eyes, always watching, always knowing, like he could see right through you. It was as if those eyes peeled back every layer you’d so carefully built, stripping you down to your raw, exposed soul.

And it scared the shit out of you.

You weren’t used to being seen like that, to being understood with just a glance. You had always been the one to deflect, to joke, to talk and talk until there was nothing left to say. Words had always been your armor, your way of creating distance between yourself and the world outside. But Remy didn’t need words. He didn’t need the noise. He was content to exist in the spaces between, in the quiet moments that seemed to stretch out forever when it was just the two of you. Those moments were where he thrived, where he seemed to understand you in ways you didn’t even understand yourself. There were moments when you’d catch yourself staring at him, wondering what it would be like if things were different. If the world hadn’t fallen apart, if you were just two people getting to know each other under normal circumstances. You’d wonder if he ever thought about you the way you thought about him, if he noticed the way your breath hitched when he stood too close, or the way your heart raced whenever he smiled that mischievous grin of his.

But then the reality of it all would crash back down on you, reminding you that this was no place for fantasies or daydreams. This was a place where every day was a fight for survival, where attachments could get you killed. And so you’d bury those feelings deep, hiding them behind the endless stream of words that spilled from your lips, hoping that maybe, one day, you’d find the courage to let them out.

But Remy, he never complained. Not once. It didn’t seem to matter how much you rambled, how often you let your thoughts spill out in a desperate attempt to drown out the crushing weight of the world. He’d just flash that trademark grin of his, the one that could disarm even the most guarded heart, and let you keep going. That grin—God, that grin—was like a lifeline, pulling you back from the edge every time the darkness threatened to close in. It was a smile that promised safety, even when safety was nothing more than a fleeting illusion in this desolate place.

Sometimes, in the middle of your rambling, he’d throw in a sly comment, something quick and clever that would catch you off guard and make you laugh—a real laugh, the kind that felt foreign and strange in your throat, almost like you’d forgotten how. And for a moment, just a brief, precious moment, the heaviness of the world would lift, and you’d feel lighter than you had in months. It was like he had this uncanny ability to find the one shred of joy left in the rubble of your life and hand it to you, wrapped in a bow of charm and wit.

Other times, he wouldn’t say much at all. He’d just listen, his red-on-black eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. Those eyes—they were so different, so otherworldly, yet there was something in them that was deeply human. Something that flickered and glimmered in the dim light, something you couldn’t quite name but felt drawn to like a moth to a flame. When he looked at you like that, it was as if he could see straight through the walls you’d built around yourself, straight to the parts of you that you tried so hard to keep hidden.

On those days, when the air was thick with the scent of dust and decay, it was easy to forget where you were, easy to imagine that you were somewhere else—somewhere safe, somewhere normal. You’d walk side by side, your shoulders occasionally brushing, and it felt more like a partnership than a necessity. There was something about those moments that made the world seem a little less broken, like maybe, just maybe, there was still something worth holding onto.

But deep down, you knew better. You knew this world didn’t allow for things like normalcy or comfort, not really. It was a world built on the bones of the past, where survival was the only currency that mattered, and hope was a dangerous thing to carry. And yet, despite all of that, there was something about Remy that made you want to believe, even if only for a fleeting moment, that things could be different. That maybe, just maybe, the two of you could carve out a small piece of happiness in the midst of all this chaos—a tiny oasis in a desert of despair.

But then, inevitably, the silence would creep back in, like an unwelcome guest that refused to leave. It would settle over you like a heavy blanket, suffocating and cold, and you’d feel the reality of your situation pressing down on you from all sides. The silence wasn’t just empty; it was a void, a gaping maw that threatened to swallow you whole if you let it. It was a reminder of all the things you’d lost, all the things you couldn’t afford to think about for too long—the people who were gone, the life you’d never get back, the future that had been stolen from you.

So you’d talk—about anything, everything—because the alternative was too unbearable to consider. You’d fill the air with words, with stories and questions and idle musings, anything to keep the silence at bay. And Remy would let you, because he seemed to understand, in a way that no one else did, that the silence wasn’t something you could face alone. He’d let you talk until your voice was hoarse and your mind was too tired to think, and then he’d flash that grin of his again, that infuriatingly charming grin, and you’d realize that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t as alone as you thought.

In those moments, when the silence was held at bay by the sound of your own voice and the steady presence of the man beside you, you almost believed that you could survive this. That there was something more to fight for than just survival. That maybe, in the ruins of this shattered world, you could find something resembling happiness. And as long as Remy kept flashing that grin, as long as he kept listening, you’d keep talking, because talking was the only way you knew how to keep the darkness at bay. <><><><><><><>

It was on one of those long supply runs that it happened. The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the barren landscape, turning the world into a canvas of deep reds and purples. The two of you had wandered further than usual, driven by the desperate need to find anything that could keep your ragtag group going for just one more day. You had been talking—filling the space with your usual chatter, anything to keep the silence at bay. But then, in your distraction, you stumbled over a loose rock, and before you could even register what was happening, his hand shot out, steadying you with a firm, yet gentle grip.

You looked up at him, a laugh already bubbling to your lips, ready to make some offhand comment about how clumsy you were, how you’d trip over your own shadow if given the chance. But the words died in your throat the moment you met his eyes. There was something in his gaze, something that made your breath catch in your chest. It wasn’t just concern or the usual teasing glint you’d come to expect. No, this was different.

In that moment, it was as though the world had shrunk down to just the two of you. The distant sounds of the wasteland faded away, the colors of the dying sun dimmed, leaving only the intensity of his gaze, locking you in place. There was something in his eyes, something deep and unspoken, that made you feel like he was seeing you for the first time—really seeing you. And it left you feeling exposed in a way you weren’t prepared for, like every defense you’d ever put up had been stripped away in an instant.

You could feel the sudden closeness between you, the warmth of his hand still on your arm, grounding you in a way that was both comforting and terrifying. Time seemed to stretch, each second drawing out as you stood there, caught in the weight of the moment. You could see the flicker of something in his eyes, a vulnerability that mirrored your own, and it shook you to your core.

For what felt like an eternity, neither of you moved. You were too afraid that if you did, the spell would break, and the moment would shatter into a million pieces. You wanted to say something, anything, but your mind was blank, every word you knew suddenly feeling inadequate. All you could do was stare up at him, your heart pounding in your chest, as if it were trying to break free from the cage of your ribs.

And then, finally, Remy broke the silence, his voice low and rough, like he was struggling to find the right words. “Cher,” he murmured, the endearment slipping from his lips like a secret he hadn’t meant to share. You felt it like a physical touch, soft and warm, wrapping around your heart. “Y’alright?”

It wasn’t the words that got to you, but the way he said them. It was as if he was asking more than just whether you were physically okay. He was asking if you were okay in a way that went deeper, in a way that touched on everything you’d been holding back, everything you’d been too afraid to admit, even to yourself.

You swallowed hard, trying to find your voice, but when you finally spoke, it came out as little more than a whisper. “Yeah… I’m fine.”

But you weren’t fine. Not really. And you knew he could see it.

The tension between you was palpable, a live wire crackling with unspoken emotions. His hand lingered on your arm for a moment longer, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. And then, just as suddenly as it had happened, he let go, stepping back to give you space. The loss of his touch was almost painful, a cold emptiness settling in where his warmth had been.

You both stood there, awkward and unsure, the weight of what had just passed between you hanging in the air like a storm cloud. Neither of you knew what to say, how to acknowledge what had just happened without breaking whatever fragile thing had begun to take shape between you.

Finally, Remy cleared his throat, his usual grin returning, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Better watch your step, cher,” he said lightly, trying to ease the tension with humor. “Can’t have you fallin’ all over the place now, can we?”

You forced a smile, nodding as you tried to push down the swirling emotions threatening to overwhelm you. “Yeah, wouldn’t want to give you any more work,” you replied, your voice too bright, too forced. The moment passed, but it left a scar, an invisible line drawn in the sand between what was and what could be. As you both continued walking, the quiet settling in around you, it was impossible to ignore the shift in the air, the way your thoughts kept circling back to the feel of his hand on your arm, the intensity in his gaze. You replayed it in your mind, over and over, trying to decipher the meaning behind it, trying to understand what it was that had passed between you in that brief second when the world had seemed to stop.

You tried to pretend like nothing had changed, like you could just go back to the way things were before. But the truth was, it had changed. The dynamic between you and Remy had shifted, and there was no going back to the comfortable rhythm you’d shared before. There was a tension now, a charged current that hummed between you, making every glance, every accidental touch, feel like a spark that could ignite something neither of you were ready to acknowledge.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the sky bleeding into a deep, bruised purple, you found yourself hyper-aware of every movement, every breath. The usual banter that flowed so easily between you felt stilted, forced, like you were both trying too hard to pretend there hadn’t been a crack in the armor you’d both so carefully constructed.

You couldn’t help but steal glances at him out of the corner of your eye, searching for any sign that he felt it too—that same nervous energy buzzing under your skin, the same questions spinning through your mind. But Remy was as hard to read as ever, his expression carefully neutral, betraying nothing of the storm that might be raging beneath the surface.

When he did catch your gaze, just for a moment, there was something there—something fleeting, like a shadow passing over his features before it was gone, replaced by that easy, familiar grin you’d come to rely on. It was almost as if he was waiting for you to make the first move, to say something, to break the silence that had settled between you like a fragile truce.

But you didn’t. You couldn’t. The words caught in your throat, tangled in fear and uncertainty. What if you were wrong? What if you’d misread everything, and all you’d end up doing was shattering whatever fragile thing had begun to grow between you? The thought of losing him, of losing the one bright spot in the darkness you lived in, was enough to keep you silent, to keep you from taking that leap.

So instead, you both just kept walking, the distance between you both physical and emotional, growing with every step. The temperature dropped as night fully claimed the sky, the cold seeping into your bones, but it wasn’t the chill that made you shiver. It was the weight of the unspoken, the words you were too afraid to say, the feelings you were too scared to admit, even to yourself.

The landscape around you was a wasteland of crumbling buildings and twisted metal, a graveyard of what had once been, but as you walked beside Remy, it was hard not to feel like you were in a different kind of wasteland, one of your own making. A barren place where fear and doubt had taken root, choking out the possibility of anything more.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Remy broke the silence. “We should head back,” he said, his voice low, almost hesitant. “Ain’t nothin’ out here worth gettin’ caught in the dark for.” There was a note in his voice, something that hinted at more than just the physical darkness that surrounded you. It was as if he was acknowledging the darkness that had crept into the space between you, the unspoken tension that neither of you seemed willing to confront.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, afraid that if you did, your voice would betray everything you were trying so hard to keep hidden. You turned, retracing your steps back toward the makeshift home you’d made with the others, the silence between you now thicker, more oppressive than before.

The walk back was quiet, the only sounds the crunch of your boots against the gravel and the distant, eerie howls of the wind as it whipped through the ruins around you. You kept your eyes trained on the ground, focusing on each step, trying to keep your thoughts from spiraling out of control. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop the questions from gnawing at you.

What if you were missing something? What if this was your chance, your one chance, to reach out, to grab hold of the one thing that made this world bearable? The thought of letting it slip through your fingers was almost unbearable, but the fear of what could happen if you took that step, if you laid yourself bare, was paralyzing.

By the time you reached the edge of your makeshift camp, the others were already gathered around the fire, their faces illuminated by the flickering flames. You could see the weariness etched into their features, the toll this life had taken on all of you, but there was also something else—a flicker of hope, a sense of camaraderie that had kept you all going, even in the darkest of times.

Remy hung back as you approached the group, his presence a steady, comforting weight at your side. But even as you sat down by the fire, feeling the warmth seep into your chilled skin, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had been left unfinished, something vital that you couldn’t afford to ignore much longer.

As the conversation around the fire picked up, the usual banter and stories filling the air, you found yourself stealing glances at Remy, who had taken a seat across from you, his eyes focused on the fire, the flames reflecting in his crimson irises. There was a sadness there, a weariness that you hadn’t noticed before, and it made your heart ache.

You wondered what he was thinking, if he was as lost in his thoughts as you were, if he was wrestling with the same questions, the same fears. You wanted to reach out, to say something, anything, that would bridge the gap between you, but the words still wouldn’t come. So, instead, you just sat there, the fire crackling between you, the silence heavy with everything you were too afraid to say.

The night dragged on, the others eventually drifting off to their makeshift beds, until it was just you and Remy left by the dying embers of the fire. The darkness pressed in around you, the only light coming from the faint glow of the coals, casting long shadows that danced across the ground.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Remy spoke, his voice quiet, almost hesitant. “Y’ ever think about what it’d be like… if things were different?”

The question hung in the air, heavy with meaning, and you felt your breath catch in your throat. He wasn’t just talking about the world, you realized. He was talking about you, about the two of you.

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to find the right words, the courage to answer him honestly. “All the time,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “But it doesn’t change anything, does it?”

Remy looked at you then, really looked at you, and for a moment, the mask he wore slipped, revealing the vulnerability beneath. “Maybe not,” he said softly, his eyes locking onto yours, “but it don’t mean we can’t try to make somethin’ outta what we got.”

It was a simple statement, but it hit you like a punch to the gut, knocking the air out of your lungs. Because he was right. The world was broken, shattered beyond repair, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t try to find some piece of happiness, some small corner of peace, in the midst of it all.

You looked at him, really looked at him, and for the first time, you allowed yourself to see what had been there all along—the way he cared, the way he watched out for you, the way he listened when no one else did. And in that moment, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to face this world alone.

Taking a deep breath, you reached out, your hand trembling slightly, and placed it on top of his. The contact sent a jolt through you, but it was grounding, reassuring, and you felt something inside you shift, something that had been locked away for too long.

“Maybe we can,” you said, your voice steady now, filled with a quiet determination. “Maybe we can make something good out of all this.”

Remy’s hand tightened around yours, his thumb brushing softly against your skin, and for the first time in a long time, you felt a glimmer of hope, a tiny spark in the darkness.

And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

something tells me our ghoulie would be fond of period sex (i’ll go to horny jail now)

Bloodletting

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

Word Count: 2,839

Warnings: smut (18+), blood play, bloody cunnilingus/bloody kisses, period sex, masturbation (male), rough sex, creampie, biting.

Notes: Can't lie, this was my immediate thought watching him tear into that bloody chunk of meat for the first time. I usually try to include at least a little plot, but this is basically all porn. Very fun submission to write; thank you! Please save a good seat for me on the bench in horny jail, I'll be in promptly.

Fun fact: orgasms can help relieve period cramps for some people.

Today had been a poor choice of start point for this long walk.

Normally, trekking across the bombed out western seaboard was strenuous and uncomfortable enough, the deadly sun baking seemingly the entire planet to a crisp, the cloying dehydration, the constant danger that something or someone was around the corner, ready to eat you. It was a far cry from the safety and monotony of the vault you'd grown up in. Usually, you were able to find lots of beauty on the surface, plenty of things to appreciate. But right now everything was just awful and uncomfortable.

Menstruation was such a nightmare topside. The proper products were apparently incredibly difficult to find anymore, leaving you to make the best of things with old torn pieces of clothing and less-than-ideal medical supplies. But these things didn't provide the absorption you'd long been accustomed to, and you kept having accidents the last few days, the result of a heavier-than-average flow. Normally, these things wouldn't bother you, but it was insanely annoying to constantly feel as if you were bleeding through basically the only clothes you had, doubly so when there was no place to clean them or bathe yourself most of the time. Besides, these pants chaffed terribly when they were damp.

Months back, you'd made the choice to ditch the vault suit. It was surreal and sort of sad feeling, packing away what had truly been a symbol of your identity for so long. However, it attracted far too much attention and caused trouble when people assumed they could take advantage of you, so you'd opted to start dressing like a proper Wastelander, boiled leather armor and denim pants. Right now, however, you desperately wished you'd been wearing the suit. The absorbent liner would have saved you some of this embarrassment.

The old ghoul had been telling you some story or another as you mounted a steep hill, your mind tuning in and out in frustration. You were sweaty, cramping, bloated, and bleeding on yourself, and all you wanted was a chance to clean yourself up and sit down for a minute. Eventually, the two of you came across what looked to be the abandoned skeleton of an old repair garage, just barely maintaining its tall stance against the horizon. As the two of you began to pass it by, you paused.

"I need to stop for a bit." you said, frowning at him as he turned his gaze to the position of the sun in the sky and back to you, confusion plain on his face.

"Whassa' matter?" he asked, "You're not usually this pussy about the sun anymore. Been long enough."

He was right, you were usually able to soldier on better than this. Today wasn't one of those days, though.

"I need like ten minutes alone, okay?" you snapped, short of patience. "I just...need it."

Your companion held up his hands in a silent, play-offended gesture of surrender, stepping aside to let you walk into the ramshackle little garage.

"Ten minutes!" he called teasingly behind you, prompting you to roll your eyes despite him not being able to see it.

Dropping your bag against the wall, you quickly toed your boots off so you could shuck your pants to the ground, groaning quietly at the bloody mess between your thighs. Digging some dirty rags out of your bag, you checked the spare canteen you kept undrinkable water in. Almost empty. You wanted to cry.

You could always ask Coop for some of his, since he was prone to drinking from questionable sources. He might even give you some, close as you'd become lately, thanks to a night of whiskey and Jet by the fire that had led to other forms of entertainment.

But you'd rather not have to explain this to him. As you did your best to scrub away the rusty red covering your skin, you wondered if he even remembered that this was something that happened to women. You had no idea what you were going to do with your pants.

Apparently, time had slipped away from you, as he appeared suddenly in the doorway a moment or two later, already speaking to you like he'd been standing there the entire time.

"It's been fifteen minutes, girlie. I'll have you know--" came his halted snark, quickly cut off as the two of you made eye contact, as he took in your nakedness below the waist. You felt a creeping sense of panic, a desire to flee out the broken window to your side. Neither of you said a word, and after a moment, he stepped forward towards you, softly gripping your wrist in his hand and holding it up to examine it. His honeyed eyes flicked back and forth between the soiled rag in your bloodied hand and where you'd been attempting to clean yourself up, briefly moving over to where your pants lay crumpled up on the floor.

"I'm--" you began, wanting to explain that you were fine, but you were quickly and decisively cut off from speaking when he lifted your bloody fingers to his mouth, sucking them between his lips with an obscene sigh. Your jaw fell slack as you watched him lick them clean, feeling like you were having some sort of erotic fever dream you'd wake up from any moment. Your hormones must've been working in tandem with the sun to drive you crazy.

However, it only continued to escalate as he seized you by the wrist, dragging you a few feet forward towards the rickety, grimy couch that leaned against the back wall, shoving you just enough to make you sit right in the center, a stale plume of desert dust filling the air around you as he rucked your hips up against his chest, your calves hooking over his shoulders. One of your flailing, still-socked feet knocked his hat clear off his head, sending it tumbling down to the floor, but he didn't even seem to notice, too preoccupied with running his hands along your inner thighs, smearing through the patches of drying blood there with fascination.

Your whole face burned white-hot, but you continued to watch him closely as his hands converged at your mound, one thumb tracing lightly over your now-swollen slit, just barely grazing your bud and drawing a hiss from between your teeth. However, instead of touching you there again, as you'd hoped he would, both thumbs traced down the line of your labia, parting them softly and spreading you open for his hungry eyes to see.

This new kind of attention made you squirm a bit at its intensity, the movement making your abdominal muscles clench just right to draw a trickle of warmth from between your legs, your face reaching supernova in embarrassment, but before you could pull away, he dove forward, his mouth sealing itself over your cunt and lapping wildly. The feeling was electric and ticklish and sent you clamoring to grab onto anything for leverage, letting out a screech that was half giggle and half moan.

He had done this before, gone down between your legs and licked and tasted and teased you until you couldn't handle it anymore, and always with great enthusiasm (and more than a little smugness, frankly), but never with a hunger like this. His thick tongue traced back and forth along your folds, seeking out every sanguine drop before dipping back down to your entrance, the wriggling muscle slipping inside with ease, drawing out another cry from you.

You were on fire, being teased more than you could handle; his tongue felt amazing, but largely avoided where you really wanted it to be, leaving you pushing and grinding your hips against his face as best as you could in your strange, folded over position. With one proper swivel, you managed to brush your clit against the bony ridge that sat at the top of where his nose would have been, scraping just right and sending you bucking right back at the same angle. The rough way you pushed against him was met by his hands curling under your ass, attempting to yank you even closer to his face as you felt that knot in your gut begin to tighten.

"Oh god, Coop, I'm gonna cum." you gasped, nails digging into his scalp as your thighs pulsed around his head. The older man, typically quite silent for most of the performance, let out a rather loud groan at that, and the sound was enough to push you right into a tense, crying orgasm, your little mewls ringing off the ancient concrete walls. If he were any other man, you'd worry about smothering him between your damp thighs, your scrambling hands pressing into the back of his head.

Fortunately, Cooper Howard wasn't just any man.

He continued to fuck you with his tongue through your climax, dragging it out for what felt like minutes. However, once you finally came down from that euphoric peak, he didn't stop, his tongue continuing to slather across you in full, wide strokes, his fingers moving up to tease at your oversensitive clit.

This, too, he had done before, this beautiful torture of keeping you constantly on the verge of a new orgasm despite still riding the wave of your current one. You both loved and hated it, feeling like every nerve in your body was alive with electricity, but simultaneously on the verge of pain from all the sensation. Presently, you loved it a lot more than you hated it, feeling the tight, cramping muscles in your belly relax just a little with your release. Glimpsing down at him once more, you could see that he'd tugged his hard cock free from its confines, jerking himself enthusiastically.

The ghoul's lips wrapped back around your clit, long, nimble fingers probing your saliva-slicked entrance. Two of them slid inside to the hilt before you even really registered their presence, causing you to hiss at the slight burn of the rad-rough flesh against your sensitive insides. The suction on your bud soothed the burn, allowing you to relax, and soon a third was added alongside the first two, quickly pushing you into another sudden and intense climax, washing over you like a tidal wave as he stretched you. When he eventually pulled his hand away, it was half-covered in red.

You were still trembling hard as he quickly worked his way back down your thighs, swiping up anything he may have missed. The sensation of his tongue running along your plush flesh made you giggle, earnest and breathless, but the sound was immediately cut off with a whine when he suddenly turned and viciously sunk his teeth into the meat of your inner thigh, not hard enough to break the skin, but damn near.

This, he had never done before.

Of course, you knew the man was intimately familiar with sinking his teeth into human flesh, but feeling them against you didn't frighten you as you expected it might, the sensation exhilarating and primal. The searing, pinching pain made you squeal, and one of his ungloved hands jammed up against your lips to silence you, filling your nose with the smell of iron and gunpowder. Come the morning, you'd be sporting a gnarly bruise there. The knowledge sent another hot tremble down your spine.

Unlatching his jaw from your leg, he pulled himself up to his full kneeling height, right even with you, a wild look in his eyes you weren't sure you'd seen before. So often he had the brim of his hat to obscure them, but now they stared, wide and glassy, into your own.

His fingers fisted into the already wild hair at the back of your head, pulling your forward into a passionate, metallic-tasting kiss. You could feel the way your face attempted to stick to his where he'd smeared your blood around your mouth with his hand. Quickly, he began to lean forward over you, pressing you into the mildew covered cushions as he pulled himself on top of you. The dry-rotted frame of the couch groaned loudly in protest at the additional weight, squeaking and sighing out curses as he repositioned your legs along his hips, falling right into place to rub his throbbing prick against you. Another throaty noise left you, strangled and awkward, but you were past being able to be embarrassed right now.

It distracted you just enough when the old cowboy dropped his head into the crook of your neck, his lips dancing along your pulse point, that you didn't tense when he pushed his way inside you, burying himself nearly to the hilt in one push. Both of you let out soft, satisfied groans as you stretched taut around him, clenching hotly already after all the attention he'd given you, his heavy breathing in your ear making every hair on your body stand on end.

For a short moment, he allowed you to adjust to his girth, warm hands pushing your shirt up to expose your breasts to him. His bare hands felt like they were everywhere, swiping affectionately against your face, tugging and pinching at your nipples, eventually settling into your hair, holding your head steady and forcing you to look at him as he began to fuck you. It didn't take long before he had you built right back up, the rub of his pelvic bone against you too good.

"Go on, gimme one more, baby. I know you can." he huffed, his warm breath tickling you just right. His thumb was suddenly strumming against your puffy, sore clit again, and tears brimmed in your eyes as your muscles seized once again, whimpering almost pitifully as you gave him what he wanted.

"Attagirl." he praised, running the blunted edge of his teeth along your throat as your body tugged at him. Your breathing was hard to control, making you see spots as he shifted your calves back over his shoulders, basically folding you in half once more as he pulled himself up higher and began to rut into you in earnest. The blunt head of his cock slammed into your tender cervix like this, making you jump and whine, but your legs only tightened around his shoulders, pulling him closer as he used your body to get himself off.

Suddenly, there was a loud crack, and the entire couch frame collapsed into a plume of dust, even worse than before, making you screech in shock. Cooper, however, seemed to barely notice, his pace not even slowing as he shifted you a few inches away from a busted 2x4 sticking out in your direction, pressing you harder into the cushions that were now trapped beneath you. Nevertheless, he did seem to be making sure you were okay in his own way, his wild eyes and insistent hands checking over every visible inch as he continued to pump between your thighs. When he dropped his mouth to your breasts, you throbbed around him, cooing as he sucked and nipped at your breasts.

"Fuck." he growled at the sensation, his hips slapping against you even harder, but in less coordinated strokes, his head heavily dropping back into the crook of your neck again, his entire weight resting on you now.

As you felt him begin to throb inside you, signaling his own release, you also felt those strong teeth latch onto the sensitive skin where your neck met your shoulder, digging deep into the smooth muscle as you screamed. You could hear your lover groaning loudly as he gave you a few more rough strokes, his teeth keeping firm at your neck as he pulsed every last drop of himself inside you. Beyond the pinching pain repeating itself, you could feel the burn of him sucking hard on the flesh between his teeth, trying to mark you up as visibly as possible. Remarkably, this was enough to push your oversensitive body into one last muted orgasm, leaving you shuddering against his chest.

Once his teeth released you, his strong arms wrapped around your body, carefully flipping you so that you laid across his chest, the leather of his clothing sticking eagerly to your sweaty skin. No one said anything for a few minutes, his fingers dancing along your spine, tracing the outline of the bite on your shoulder and earning a small whimper, which he chuckled at. Things were strangely blissful.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna need another fifteen minutes, boss." you sighed eventually, snuggling your face against the smooth leather of his vest and breathing in the smell of violence and sex.

"You can have ten." he responded, drawing a look from you until the hand that had been kneading away at your ass cheek slipped down further, rough fingers teasing at your abused entrance once more, pushing what was leaking out of you back inside.

"Oh? And what happens then?" you asked, trying hard to keep your hips still against his sinful hand and failing.

"Then we're going again."

[dee-writes-smut]

WINTER (Chapter Two)

FEATURING Azriel x Illyrian!reader

SUMMARY in the aftermath of your kidnapping, you find it harder than normal to cope and continue on with life, causing you to push the people closest to you away. (THIS IS A PART TWO)

CONTENT WARNINGS descriptions of injuries, pain, torture, severe depression, and PTSD. If you thought the last one was dark, buckle up.

AUTHORS NOTE wow, three fics in two days?! What happened to me? I have just been super motivated to write creatively recently, which is exciting! So here, enjoy the second part of the Season's series, Winter.

Winter's embrace was a bleak grip, the world laying shrouded in a suffocating blanket of ice and snow, each flake a cruel reminder of nature's indifference. The landscape stretched out before you like a desolate wasteland, barren trees reaching up like skeletal fingers towards a sky heavy with the promise of more bitter cold to come. There was no warmth to be found here, only the biting chill that gnawed at your bones and numbed your very soul.

Gone were the vibrant colors and lively sounds of spring, replaced instead by a deafening silence broken only by the hollow howl of the wind as it whipped through the skeletal remains of once-thriving forests. The air was thick with a palpable sense of despair, each breath a struggle against the icy grip of despair that threatened to crush you under its weight.

As you trudged through the snow, each step felt like a punishment, a relentless march towards an uncertain fate. The landscape seemed to taunt you with its emptiness, a cruel reminder of the futility of your existence in a world so devoid of life and hope. Shadows danced across the frozen ground, twisting and contorting into grotesque shapes that seemed to mock your very presence.

And yet, amidst the desolation, there was a perverse beauty to be found – in the stark contrast of black against white, in the delicate lacework of frost that adorned the barren branches, in the eerie stillness that hung heavy in the air like a shroud. It was a beauty born of darkness, a twisted reflection of the cruel whims of fate that had brought you to this forsaken place.

In the heart of winter's icy grip, you found yourself consumed by a sense of isolation and despair, a prisoner in a world that had long since abandoned any pretense of kindness or compassion. It was a season of suffering, of unrelenting cruelty, of darkness so deep that even the faintest glimmer of hope seemed but a distant memory. And as the cold crept ever closer, you couldn't help but wonder if there would ever be an end to the endless winter that had consumed your very soul.

(Wintertime, Velaris)

As the first rays of dawn painted the sky in hues of pink and gold, I sat alone on the edge of my bed, my gaze fixed on the empty space where my wings used to be. The pain, both physical and emotional, gnawed at me like a relentless predator, sinking its claws deep into my chest, a constant reminder of everything I had lost. My once majestic wings, the very essence of my being, were gone, severed from my body by those who sought to break my spirit.

With trembling hands, I traced the scars where my wings had been, feeling the phantom sensation of membrane-like skin against my fingertips. The memory of their hard, bone-like ridges, their graceful span; it lingered like a bittersweet melody, haunting yet achingly beautiful. Tears welled in my eyes, blurring the world around me with their shimmering veil, but I refused to let them fall. Crying felt like admitting defeat, acknowledging just how shattered I truly was. So instead, I pushed the pain down, burying it deep within me, where no one could see.

But the emptiness inside me was a vast abyss, yawning wide and hungry, impossible to ignore. I had always prided myself on my resilience, my strength, but now I felt like a mere husk of my former self. The trauma of my kidnapping weighed upon my mind like a heavy shroud, casting shadows that danced and twisted in the corners of my consciousness.

As the days stretched into weeks, and weeks into months, I withdrew further into myself, cocooning my heart in layers of solitude and silence. The world outside seemed distant and hazy, a blurred landscape of faces and voices that I could no longer connect with. I couldn't bear the pity in their eyes, the whispered words of sympathy that fell like stones upon my wounded soul. So, I built walls around my heart, brick by brick, until I was encased in a fortress of my own making, impervious to the outside world.

Even Azriel, my steadfast companion, my unwavering ally, found himself barred from the inner sanctum of my heart. He tried to reach me, to break through the barriers I had erected, but I turned away, unable to bear the thought of exposing my vulnerability to anyone, even him. I didn't want their pity or their well-meaning words. All I wanted was to be left alone with my pain, to drown in it until it consumed me completely.

But even in my darkest moments, a flicker of hope danced on the periphery of my consciousness, a tiny flame that refused to be extinguished. It whispered of resilience and redemption, of healing and renewal, but I pushed it away, hiding from its warmth like a frightened child. For now, I would remain adrift in a sea of darkness, lost and alone, clinging to the fragile thread of hope that promised a way out of the abyss.

The memories played out in my mind with vivid intensity, each scene etched into my consciousness like a brand of torment.

I remembered the moment I was jolted from unconsciousness, the harsh voice of my captor slicing through the haze like a blade. "Wake up, whore," he hissed, sending a shiver down my spine and igniting a primal fear within me. Blinking against the darkness that enveloped me, I felt the oppressive weight of a bag over my head, suffocating and disorienting. Panic surged through me as I realized my bound state, my struggles against the restraints futile in the face of impending doom.

The voice, dripping with malice, mocked my defiance. "No need to struggle, sweetheart," he sneered, his words a cruel reminder of my helplessness. As I strained to make sense of my surroundings, fear clawed its way through my throat, leaving behind deep grooves of despair. The familiar scent of damp earth and mildew filled my senses, a chilling reminder of the unknown horrors that awaited me.

A flicker of hope emerged in the form of Azriel, my steadfast protector, but it was quickly extinguished by the looming presence of Lyris, a childhood friend turned tormentor. His eyes gleamed with sadistic delight as he brandished a dagger, the cold metal glinting ominously in the dim light.

With a cruel smirk, Lyris descended upon me, his voice filled with twisted pleasure. "Time to finally take what's mine," he taunted, the blade poised to inflict unimaginable pain.

The first cut tore through me like a bolt of lightning, a searing agony that ripped through flesh and soul alike. My cries echoed off the walls of the chamber, lost in the darkness that enveloped me.

But the torment did not end there. With each merciless stroke of the blade, Lyris carved away my very essence, leaving behind a shattered shell of my former self. I watched helplessly as my wings, once symbols of freedom and strength, were mutilated and discarded like worthless scraps of flesh.

And as the last remnants of my identity fell away, a hollow emptiness consumed me, leaving behind only the cruel scars of my torment. I was no longer whole, no longer the person I once was. I had been robbed of everything that defined me, my essence stolen by the darkness that lurked within the depths of my captor's soul.

As the soft rap echoed through the hollow corridors, it felt like a distant echo of a life I once knew, one filled with warmth and camaraderie. Reluctantly, I approached the door, each step heavy with the weight of my turmoil, the heavy thud of my heart matching the rhythm of my footfalls.

Feyre stood there, framed by the soft glow of the hallway lanterns, her presence both a comfort and a reminder of the bonds I had once cherished. In her hands, she cradled a delicate tray, a small offering of sustenance amidst the darkness that engulfed me.

"I brought you some food," she offered, her voice a soothing melody in the stillness of the room, a fragile thread of connection in the vast expanse of my solitude. "I thought you might be hungry."

My response was curt, a reflexive defense against the vulnerability her kindness exposed. "I don't need your pity, Feyre," I retorted, the bitterness in my voice a stark contrast to the warmth of her offering. "I can take care of myself."

For a fleeting moment, hurt flickered in her eyes, a silent plea for understanding that cut through the barriers I had erected around my wounded heart. But she quickly masked it with a forced smile, her resilience a testament to the depth of her compassion.

Without another word, she set the tray down on the table beside me, the scent of warm food mingling with the heavy silence that enveloped us. It was a gesture of kindness in a world that had grown cold and indifferent, a fleeting glimpse of the friendship I had once treasured.

As Feyre lingered in the doorway, her gaze lingered on mine with a quiet intensity, a silent invitation to let her in, to share the burden of my pain. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" she asked, her voice a gentle reminder that I was not alone, that there were still those who cared enough to reach out a helping hand.

But I shook my head, my walls still firmly in place, my pride a shield against the vulnerability her presence exposed. "No," I replied curtly, my voice a harsh echo of the emptiness that echoed within me.

With a nod of understanding, Feyre turned to leave, the weight of her disappointment a heavy burden on my already burdened soul. And as the door closed behind her, I was left alone once more, the silence of the empty room a stark reminder of the walls I had built to keep the world at bay.

The evening air was thick with the scent of spices and laughter as I made my way through the bustling streets of Velaris, the soft glow of lanterns casting a warm hue over the cobblestone pathways. Each step felt heavy, burdened by the weight of my own thoughts, as I navigated the vibrant tapestry of the Night Court.

Amidst the lively chatter and cheerful bustle of the city, familiar voices pierced through the haze of my melancholy. Mor's vibrant laughter echoed through the air, drawing my gaze towards her radiant figure standing across the street. Beside her, Cassian, his presence as imposing as ever, offered a welcoming grin that tugged at the corners of my lips despite my inner turmoil.

"Hey, there she is!" Mor's voice carried on the breeze, her smile bright as she beckoned me over. "Come join us!"

Cassian's invitation followed, his boisterous enthusiasm contagious as he gestured towards the tavern. "We're heading for a drink. You should come with us."

My heart clenched at the genuine warmth in their gestures, a stark contrast to the icy grip of my own despair. The desire to lose myself in their company, if only for a fleeting moment, warred with the overwhelming sense of unworthiness that gnawed at my soul.

But as Mor reached out to take my hand, her touch a gentle reminder of the bond we shared, a surge of jealousy and resentment swept through me. My gaze flickered to Cassian, his powerful wings a constant reminder of everything I had lost. Anger boiled within me, bitter and consuming, as I struggled to suppress the envy that threatened to engulf me. "I appreciate the offer, but I think I'll pass," I managed to say, my voice betraying a hint of regret. "I'm not really in the mood for drinking tonight."

Mor's smile faltered for a moment, a flicker of concern crossing her features before she masked it with reassurance. "That's okay," she said softly, her words a soothing balm to the ache in my heart. "But if you ever change your mind, you know where to find us."

With a nod of understanding, I watched as they disappeared into the throng of revelers, their laughter fading into the night. Left alone on the deserted street, the weight of my solitude pressed heavily upon me, a reminder of the chasm that separated me from the warmth of their companionship. As the echoes of their laughter dissolved into the stillness of the night, I couldn't shake the pang of resentment that lingered in my chest. But even amidst the darkness of my despair, I knew that I couldn't risk dragging my friends down with me. So, with a heavy heart, I turned away, retreating into the shadows once more, the silence of the night swallowing me whole.

The faint glow of moonlight, a silver cascade, filtered through the windows, casting ethereal patterns across the dimly lit kitchen of the Night Court's sprawling estate. I stood amidst the chaos, surrounded by a haphazard array of pots, pans, and ingredients scattered across the countertops. My attempt at cooking had quickly spiraled into a messy disaster, each failed endeavor only serving to fuel my frustration further.

As I grappled with the stubborn lid of a jar, a voice sliced through the silence, its presence both unexpected and unwelcome.

"What in the world are you doing?"

Startled, I turned to find Rhysand standing in the doorway, his silhouette a stark contrast against the luminescent backdrop. His wings, a breathtaking display of power and grace, unfurled behind him like the majestic sails of a ship, the membrane-like skin gleaming in the moonlight. They seemed to pulsate with an otherworldly energy, each beat a testament to the freedom and strength they embodied. My heart clenched at the sight, a bitter pang of jealousy twisting in the depths of my soul. Once, I had known that same sense of freedom, had soared through the skies with effortless grace, my wings slicing through the air like a blade through silk. But now, they were gone, cruelly ripped from my back by those who sought to break me.

An ache, dull and persistent, throbbed in the space where my wings had once been, a constant reminder of everything I had lost. I longed to feel the wind beneath me, to taste the exhilarating rush of flight once more, but it was nothing more than a distant dream, forever out of reach.

"None of your business," I snapped, my voice a whipcrack of frustration, my fingers still wrestling with the stubborn jar lid. The last thing I needed was his pity, his condescending attempts to help when I clearly didn't want it.

Rhysand's gaze softened, a flicker of concern crossing his features as he approached with cautious steps, his movements a ballet of grace. "You're making quite a mess," he observed, his voice gentle but firm, like the soothing murmur of a distant stream. "Let me help you."

I recoiled from his touch, the anger bubbling to the surface like molten lava erupting from the depths of the earth. "I don't need your help," I spat, my voice tinged with venom, the bitterness like bile in my throat. "I don't need anyone."

There was a brief pause, a pregnant silence hanging heavy in the air as Rhysand regarded me with a mixture of sympathy and frustration. "You're clearly upset," he said softly, his words a gentle caress against the storm raging within me. "Let me help you. Let us help you."

But I refused to listen, the tempest of my emotions raging unabated, the walls around my heart fortified against any intrusion. With a strangled cry of frustration, I shoved past him and fled from the room, the echoes of his words following me like a haunting refrain, the cadence of his footsteps a melancholy echo in the corridors of my mind.

Alone in the sanctuary of my darkened chamber, I collapsed onto the bed, the weight of my own solitude pressing down upon me like a suffocating avalanche. Tears welled in my eyes, hot and stinging, as I buried my face in the pillows, the emptiness consuming me like a ravenous beast, its jaws gnashing at the frayed edges of my soul.

"Mind if I join you?"

Nesta's voice broke through the silence, her presence a welcome intrusion in the stillness of the night. I turned to face her, my expression guarded and wary, unsure of what to expect. She stepped onto the balcony, her graceful movements a stark contrast to the heaviness that weighed upon my own shoulders. There was a quiet understanding in her gaze, a silent acknowledgment of the pain that lingered beneath the surface.

"I know what it's like," she said softly, her voice a gentle murmur in the quiet expanse of the night. "To push people away, to build walls around your heart so high that no one can reach you."

I bristled at her words, the anger and resentment bubbling to the surface like a dormant volcano awakening from its slumber. How dare she presume to understand the depths of my despair, the darkness that threatened to consume me from within?

"You have no idea what I'm going through," I snapped, my voice tinged with bitterness. "You have Cassian, you have someone who loves you unconditionally. I have no one."

Nesta's gaze softened, a flicker of sympathy in her eyes as she reached out to take my hand. "I may have Cassian, but that doesn't mean I haven't faced my own demons," she said gently. "I know what it's like to feel like you're drowning in darkness, to feel like there's no way out."

I recoiled from her touch, the walls around my heart growing ever taller with each passing moment. "I don't need your pity," I retorted, my voice laced with venom. "I don't need anyone."

Nesta's expression faltered for a moment, a fleeting glimpse of hurt crossing her features before she quickly masked it with a steely resolve. "Fine," she said, her voice tinged with resignation. "But just know that I'm here if you ever change your mind. No judgments, no expectations. Just someone who understands." And with that, she turned and walked away, leaving me alone once more with the weight of my own sorrow.

The library exuded an atmosphere of solemn tranquility, its shelves adorned with ancient tomes and illuminated by the soft glow of flickering candles. I sat ensconced amidst the towering pillars of knowledge, a solitary figure in the midst of a vast sea of wisdom, my thoughts tumultuous and unruly.

"I’m joining you.”

The voice, sharp and unwavering, pierced the silence like a dagger, its intrusion disrupting the fragile peace that had settled over the room. Startled, I glanced up to find Amren standing before me, her gaze penetrating and incisive, cutting through the veil of my solitude with unnerving precision.

"Fine," I sighed, my voice tinged with resignation as I gestured for her to take a seat. Amren wasted no time in settling herself across from me, her movements fluid and purposeful, her eyes fixed upon me with an intensity that made me squirm.

"You look like hell," she remarked bluntly, her words a harsh echo in the stillness of the library.

I bristled at her candor, the urge to lash out bubbling up from the depths of my despair like a tempest on the horizon. But there was something in Amren's gaze, a glimmer of genuine concern beneath the steely facade, that gave me pause. She wasn't asking out of idle curiosity; she genuinely wanted to understand the turmoil that churned within me.

"It's nothing," I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper as I averted my gaze, unwilling to meet her probing stare.

Amren snorted in disbelief, her lips curling into a sardonic smile as she leaned forward, her eyes boring into mine with unrelenting intensity. "Don't give me that bullshit," she retorted, her tone sharp and unyielding. "I may not be the touchy-feely type, but even I can see that something's eating you alive."

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat growing with each passing moment as I struggled to find the words to express the depth of my despair. But before I could respond, Amren reached out and grasped my hand, her touch surprisingly gentle despite the steel in her eyes. "I'm not going to pretend to understand what you're going through," she said softly, her voice a quiet reassurance in the stillness of the library. "But I do know one thing: you don't have to face it alone. We're your friends, and we're here for you, no matter what."

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, hot and stinging, as I looked into Amren's unwavering gaze. In that moment, I realized that she was right. I didn't have to carry the weight of my despair alone. I had friends who cared about me, who were willing to stand by my side through the darkest of times. But even as the realization washed over me like a tidal wave, a part of me rebelled against the idea of letting them in. The walls around my heart, built brick by brick in an attempt to shield myself from further pain, felt impenetrable, insurmountable.

With a trembling breath, I pulled my hand away from Amren's grasp, my movements abrupt and jerky. "I don't need your help," I said, my voice strained with emotion. "I don't need anyone."

Amren's expression hardened, her eyes flashing with barely concealed anger as she stared at me, incredulous. "You're a fool if you think you can face this alone," she spat, her voice cold and cutting. "But fine, if that's how you want it. Just know that when you finally come crawling back, don't expect us to welcome you with open arms."

And with that, she rose from her seat and stormed from the room, leaving me alone once more with the weight of my own despair. Even as the silence settled around me like a suffocating blanket, I couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that gnawed at my soul.

As the twilight descended, casting its ethereal veil over the Night Court's training grounds, I found myself standing alone at the edge of the courtyard, my heart heavy with the burden of my own anguish. The fading light painted the world in hues of amber and indigo, a melancholy backdrop to the tempest raging within.

With measured steps, Azriel approached, his presence a soothing balm amidst the chaos of my emotions. His silhouette merged with the shadows, his eyes alight with concern as he drew near. "Are you alright?" His voice, a tender caress against the backdrop of the evening's symphony, reached out to me, offering solace in the darkness.

I turned to face him, my heart aching with the weight of unspoken words, the tumult of my soul laid bare in the vulnerability of my gaze. "Do I look alright?" I whispered, the bitterness of my sorrow echoing in the stillness of the night. "Do I seem like someone who has it all together?"

Azriel's expression softened, his gaze a mirror to the storm brewing within me. "I'm just trying to help," he murmured, his voice a gentle melody that stirred the depths of my wounded spirit.

Tears welled in my eyes, the ache in my chest threatening to consume me whole. "Maybe I don't want your help," I confessed, the admission a fragile confession of my deepest fears. "Maybe I'm tired of everyone trying to fix me, like I'm some broken thing in need of repair."

The hurt that flickered in Azriel's eyes pierced through me, his anguish a reflection of my own. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice laden with remorse, a silent plea for understanding.

My resolve wavered, the walls around my heart crumbling in the face of his compassion. "I don't need your apologies," I confessed, the weight of my pain heavy upon my shoulders. "I just need… I don't know what I need."

With that, I turned away, the vulnerability of my confession hanging heavy in the air between us. As I retreated into the enveloping darkness, I felt the warmth of Azriel's presence recede, leaving me alone with the ache of my own brokenness. And in the stillness of the night, I grappled with the realization that perhaps, amidst the chaos of my despair, what I truly longed for was the one thing I had pushed away—the comforting embrace of someone who cared.

But even as I yearned for solace, the sight of Azriel, the one who had rescued me from the clutches of darkness, stirred within me a tumult of conflicting emotions. His Illyrian heritage, his wings—symbols of strength and freedom—served as painful reminders of the horrors I had endured. And in his compassionate gaze, I saw reflected the shadows of my past, haunting me with memories I longed to forget. It was hard to see him, to confront the echoes of my trauma that lingered in his presence, yet even amidst the pain, there remained a flicker of hope—something that clung so tight, that wouldn’t let go, and that throbbed in the presence of him.

[PREVIOUS] [NEXT]

[mj1343]

The Fallout Show, The NCR, Vegas, and Taking a Chill Pill

Fallout Show spoilers hi

i knew when i saw they were going to touch Shady Sands people would get angry regardless of what they did and i totally 100% understand being upset with the treatment of that location and the choices of writing that it took to get there but i genuinely do not understand the sentiment that Vegas is noncanon all of a sudden

Shady Sands is where the NCR formed and the first capital but they do not exclusively exist there. We know by New Vegas the NCR holds a lot of territory, and has territories they want to claim in the future:

'Hayes: "Sure can. The NCR was founded from the survivors of one of the great Vaults. We started as a small settlement called Shady Sands. We now consist of 5 states, that make up the greatest nation since the Great War."'

'NCR history holodisk: "Founded eighty years ago, the NCR is now comprised of the states of Shady, Los Angeles, Maxson, Hub, and Dayglow. Approximately 700,000 citizens are pleased to call NCR home."

In fact, we SEE a small sect of NCR remnants IN THE SHOW. I know a small group of people does not equate an entire nation but just the fact people are still fighting under the flag means they are not magically game ended forever and it is VERY overzealous to assume the ENTIRE NCR was housed in Shady Sands as late as 2277 when we know they were incorporating new territories before AND AFTER 2277

On the 'Vegas is a desolate nuked wasteland' front, i also genuinely do not understand it because, shockingly, locations IRL are larger than they are in the game!!!! The Strip in New Vegas is what, two cells? and one road with 4 casinos on it? The irl Strip is a 4 mile stretch of road that can have anywhere from 30 to 50+ casinos depending who you ask and over 100 casinos in all of Vegas easily. I understand they flash the Lucky 38 and the New Vegas sign to get excitement built but we have to look at scale a lot differently in the show than in the games. There are many scenes (which i have criticized) that are completely empty deserts for miles to see. Hell, the scale of the Vaults is different because they need to actually function as a building and not a location in a video game.

Yes. We see a few dead securitrons in the ending. You know where else you can find dead securitron? Littered about in the hit 2010 role playing game Fallout New Vegas. This is not a sign of desolation. This is a sign of some wasteland asshole killed a few. There are no people on the strip because this is supposed to drum up intrigue and tease a second season. We Do Not Know what has happened in Vegas. There could be hundreds of people on the strip and we just dont see them because they wanted a moody shot with no one in it. We have no idea. But you want to know what i can reasonably assume? it WASNT NUKED. because SHADY SANDS WAS NUKED AND ITS A CRATER AND YOU CAN STILL SEE EVERYTHING IN VEGAS STANDING. This is a post apocalypse franchise that, for better or worse (mostly worse) prides itself on Not Fixing Things from 200 years ago. A broken building or sign in New Vegas at the end of the show Does Not Mean New Vegas is completely removed from canon.

I know. I know you guys cannot be happy with anything Bethesda touches. I know you refuse to just take a breather for a moment. And i understand and entirely agree nuking a notable location from the original games is dirty. i am not giving Bethesda credit. There was some good in the show and some bad. I Understand. But this show has not decanonized New Vegas in any way and i truely do not understand the outrage from this point of view specifically. You can be angry about anything else. i know i cannot stop you if i wanted to. You will always find something to be mad about. But PLEASE think critically about this for a moment

[spookypete-94]

Nightmare's Wasteland

Chapter 1- Devil's Playground

Been on a Handmaid's Tale kick as of late. Made me wonder how Simon would be in this situation. I have always loved this series and the power behind it. The books are amazing (Margaret Atwood, wonderful, wonderful, author) and so is the tv series on Hulu. It is just the concept being used, will not involve places, names and/or characters of The Handmaid's Tale.

Small series. Reader is a female character in a dystopian world where the ability to conceive is limited to a small percentage of people. Reader is of that percentage and is assigned to Simon to provide a child to a declining population. She learns how live with him and survive, while he learns about her life prior before being delivered to hell. Def a darker read, MDNI.

CW and heads up- Reader is female in this, also has tattoos. Leave it to the imagination, only one described for now. Also language (we know how i love language)

If Simon Riley could be described as anything from a word in history, Warlord would be listed at the very top. Warrior. Solider. In reality, it’s all the same. Pick whatever word in that branch of that tree, and he fits it.

To be able to be such a thing, he had to turn off all things that made him human. No love, no happiness, no peace. It left him in a world without a wife, no children, family gone- left him a long time ago at the cost of his area of expertise.

When the world started to end, and he was too damaged to try to defend and protect it anymore, he was assigned a life. A home. He was given a civilian life… followed by excuses of this was his “reward”. Laughable to him really, this was far from what he wanted. Instead, he was given a different duty and told to provide children for the next generation. Children of strong genetics. Hope to be provided of his strength and wit…Honestly, he’d rather be out on the frontlines again. His duty would be better served there, being a ghost, THE Ghost, was what he did best. Specter in the line of work, no one ever saw him coming. Start to unravel and show how broken you are though, and they send you back to try to be part of the what’s “normal” life now.

Here he sat, in large empty house. A staff provided for all things to run it. Only exception it was barren of all the things that made it a home. Photographs, knickknacks, but more importantly a wife and children. It had been pressed on him to find a wife, but as he explained to his overhead he just wasn’t interested. Apparently, they could turn a blind eye to that, but he still was required to add to the population. He was a fertile, and it was his duty after all. The answer to a wife, was a temporary live in. One he was only expected to lay with during ovulation.

The idea filled him with dread, but not a soul got to have a say in this world of what was going to happen. The government was too strong for its own good now and he was too deep in it. All from being its war dog, and now given his bone and told to go home.

Simon’s inner turmoil was rudely interrupted as one of the house staff knocked on his office door. “Mr. Riley? They are all here, waiting downstairs in the foyer.”

A heavy sigh left him before he called back out, “Will be down in a few.”

Swallowing the rest of his bourbon, he set the glass down on his desk twirling it a few times by the rim with his large finger.

Now or never.

Encroaching downstairs, he saw a gathering of about four people. All dressed in black, one with a hood pulled all the way up hiding their face.

That would be you.

If you could be described as anything, it would be: Not made for this world. Your heart was soft, but the desire to live your own life once again thrived inside. A weed that couldn't quite be pulled out. The ache hurt that soft heart of yours. Children had always been a thought on your mind but deemed not good enough to be a wife from past choices of your old life, you were pushed into the service of bearing them for others. “Good enough to be bred, not good enough to be wed.” As you had been told. To be in the service, it was required of you to learn what was lady like. Quiet, barely there. Don’t fight back and don’t speak your mind. Make yourself small, don’t get in the way. Don’t agree? Great. Here is your issued beating and punishment. Take it on the cheek and turn it for the next one.

Those who could not bear children, were put into hard labor. Running a house, in home cook, cleaning maid, you name it. If you wouldn’t comply to meet the new standards, you were shipped off to work in the mines or sent to death. Funny a world so eagerly wanting to make life was so quick to snuff it out.

Never once you would think your life would be like this. All those freedoms taken and stripped from you. What you would give to have your old life back. Be able to sleep in. Go outside and to the stores when you wished. A fucking latte? What you would give for any of that now. All of that taken for granted...

Passing through the requirements made you fit for duty. Issued your new place of residency, to meet your new Master and Lady. Only this place didn’t have a Lady. The Master so much of a brute of a man to never take one, was rumor you had heard. It scared you. A man that clearly couldn't even be gentle enough to have a wife. Maybe that was why they picked this place for you first, to make you fearful of the new world. More submission.

Standing in the entryway, heavy boots could be heard on the bare wood. You wanted to look up at your new Master but deemed it best to keep your head down and eyes on the floor. Make yourself small. Lady Like. Pressing your hands tightly together in your front, fingers laced together in a way to try to compose yourself. In the old world you might have twiddled your thumbs together, but in this new one not even that would be acceptable.

“Mr. Riley,” your Governess spoke with fake pleasantry, “We apologize for rising you from your office. We are early after all.”

On time. He was late. This was her way of trying to stroke his ego, all while of pointing out the time to him. Only made her look dumb.

Not even a reply, just a grunt. His boots finally appearing at the bottom of the steps. The place you had been looking but now diverting your eyes further down. You noticed his boots were perfect and polished, the black shining from the light in the room. It looked like military attire.

“Today is a happy day, this is your new Chamber Maid.”

The term made your face hot, red. Your life you had before… and now reduced to a “Chamber Maid”?

What the fuck.

Your black hood being wrenched down so your new Master could look down upon you startled you.

Carefully, you glanced up. Your heart had hit the bottom of your stomach seeing a man with dirty blonde colored hair shaved down in military fashion. Matched the idea of his boots. His nose crooked from being broken by at least once… or a few times. A scar that ran across his mouth to the bottom of his nose on his cheek. Brown eyes burned down into your wide orbs while he all but sneered down at you. Here, you were certain the devil was standing before you. Handsome and scary all at once.

“Introduce yourself, don’t be rude,” Your Governess nudged into you roughly with her elbow.

New manners that had just been taught, returned to you. A small curtsey before him, careful with your legs as your head ducked down and standing back up fully. It was executed beautifully. Quietly, you gave your name. Instead of him giving you his, he grunted once more. You knew his name already, why waste his time with all this fake bullshit was his thought.

“Your room is upstairs; the staff will show you around.” His voice a deep threatening rumble.

This was all you got? Your living quarters? Your heart fractured. Not even worth being shown around by the man that was supposed to impregnate you. You could drop to your knees and cry right here if able. Lady like. You must not show any emotion, any thought behind your beautiful eyes. Just a breedable doll is all you were now.

A hand wrapping around your arm and tugging you along made your attention divert. The staff. An older woman, “My name’s Kate. Come with me.”  Mr. Riley had already started his way upstairs, your Governess and other hierarchy leaving. This felt so strange to you enough as it is, but to have an abrupt goodbye made you feel like an adopted animal.

“Is there really no wife?” you whispered to her. Is he really a brute? Was the question you wanted to ask.

“No, no wife, but Mr. Riley is really not hard to live with,” she whispered back.

He might not be, but you felt your circumstances would be different.

A quick show around the large house ended with your room. It wasn’t bad in size. A full-sized bed shoved up against the wall with a window and rocking chair provided. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was there for an eventual baby, one that you would rock to sleep.

Starting with trying to settle in, you unpacked your clothes. Or rather uniforms. Because you had “sinned” in your past life, your uniform is a long black dress with long sleeves. Because you had tattoos scattered across places, you were to cover them. The only time your uniform was to be off was when you were alone. Even when you were to lay with your Master, the dress would remain on, both of you to be fully clothed. Still with your clothes, you felt naked at the idea. Stripped of any dignity.

Settled in, you had found Kate once more and helped her with her house duties and making supper. Idle hands were the devil’s workshop or some shit like that.

“You’re to sit at the table with him.” Kate whispered, nodding to the direction of the dining room. "Requested you himself."

Nervous, you smoothed out your dress, pressing away any crumbs from making supper. Looking back up at her, she nodded in a silent reply of asking her If you looked appropriate.

Quietly, you made our way into the dining room a large table that could have sat an army before you, Mr. Riley already sitting at the end of it. Even though the table was so large, a chair was all the way at the other end. Unsure of what exactly to do, you stood in front of the door with your hands interlocked together again.

“Well go on, sit,” Mr. Riley said gesturing to the end of the table.

“Yes, Mr. Riley,” you said meekly quickly walking to the end of the table to sit down.

One by one, the house staff filed in carrying the food and placing it on the table, making you both a plate as they did. The plate placed before you was steaming, filled across the circumference. Been a long time since you had a home cooked meal.

“Heard you had a helping hand with the meal tonight.” He said cutting into his piece of fried chicken.

“Just trying to be helpful.”

“Not expected of you.”

Your tongue wanted to fire back, wanted to cut him from the knees down. Would rather that then what is expected of me. But instead, you were quiet, choosing to eat instead.

It stayed silent like that through the rest of dinner besides clanking of dishes and silverware. Mr. Riley getting up and going to his office after he had cleared his plate, leaving you alone to finish yours. Made you wonder if he lived in that room.

Deciding to get up you helped Kate with clearing the rest of the kitchen and cleaning up from dinner. Most of it taken care of you told Kate to step out and take a break willing to finish the dishes. Having a task at hand to focus on now was helpful. The feeling of walking into the twilight zone curbed with getting food off dishes.

The calm you had felt left seeing a large man move into the kitchen. The only large man here. Looking over your shoulder you watched him get into the fridge pouring himself a glass of water from the pitcher.

“Told you we have help for that.”

“I told her to go take a break.”

“ Y’ sure you should give orders like that? Do you have the authority to do so?”

Shit. You had insulted him in his own home on the first fucking day. What a good start.

“I didn’t mean it like that-" but you were abruptly pushed forward further against the sink by him. Your breath was caught. You wanted to turn around but couldn’t. Expecting a strike, you flinched inward, but instead three large fingers grab carefully at your collar tugging it down, his thumb sweeping against the back of your neck.

“Skull and cross bones, huh?” He asked.

He was referring to the tattoo on the back of your neck. Some how he had caught it, even with the ugly collar on your dress.

“Was my very first one.”

“And that’s what you picked?” Was he bantering with you?

“I picked it out at a rock concert.”

“That the type of girl you are then? The one that gives breaks and gets skull tattoos?”

You were unable to find an answer. It seemed rhetorical anyway.

“Asked you question.”

Fuck.

“Appears to be that way, yeah.”

Cheeky.

He chuckled, swiping his thumb across it once more before giving you a light shove against the sink from his hand that held your hip. No longer where you terrified. It all almost seemed playful in nature.

“Tomorrow, Kate does the dishes. I can’t have her slacking.”

“Yes, Mr. Riley.”

Standing there feeling dumb, you closed your eyes at feeling his rough hand on your neck over and over again. Mind eye picturing what he looked while he was behind you. Perhaps he wouldn’t be too hard to get along with after all.

Simon "Ghost" Riley Masterlist

Nightmare's Wasteland Masterlist

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[inkandarsenic]

these hollow empty spaces (1)

“do what is right, not what is easy.”

My first Game of Thrones fic! Notably, this is not the idea I sent in an ask to @dipperscavern, but rather one sort of inspired by a separate ask. I tried to link both asks, but tumblr won’t let me. Anyhoops.

Synopsis: The youngest daughter of Tywin Lannister refuses to stand idly by, and the currents of fate shift.

Pairing: Robb Stark x Lannister!OC

Tags: slow burn, enemies to lovers but like enemies more in the political sense

Pt. 1

masterlist | next

The North passed outside the window in an endless expanse of rolling moors and sprawling forests – nature at its finest. The air up here was clean and cold, almost sweet after the stink of King’s Landing. Maybe that’s why Eleyna couldn’t stop drawing back the heavy curtains that kept the cold out.

Cersei huffed. “Must you stare out the window? It’s not as if there is anything interesting out there.” She glared at Eleyna. “You’ll make the children sick, they aren’t used to this dreadful chill.”

The children in question were playing a game quietly in their corner of the wheelhouse, and looked rather warm, if Eleyna was being honest. The only one who could complain of being cold was Joffrey, riding outside with Jaime. Eleyna rolled her eyes at her sister and let the curtain drop. “You are the only one complaining, dear sister. Forgive me for wanting to enjoy the beauty of the North.”

“The beauty of a frozen, barren wasteland?” Cersei scoffed.

“You’ve been in the city too long, Cersei,” Eleyna sighed. “The North is not a wasteland.”

“No?” Cersei waved a hand at the window. “How many cities have we passed? How many keeps?” She shook her head disdainfully. “It has been days since we saw civilization, if that swamp can be called such. Barren wasteland.”

Eleyna sighed and leaned back in her seat. “That swamp is Moat Cailin. It is the first defense of the North against Southron invasions and it has never been taken precisely because of the swamp it sits on. You should know this, Cersei, don’t you ever listen to Father and Jaime?” She smirked faintly. “Or do you and Jaime not… talk about such things?”

Cersei scowled. Her voice was sharp when she spoke. “I have better things to worry about than Northern defenses.”

Eleyna shrugged and looked back out the window. “Let us all hope you never lead a war then.”

“Spending all those years with only Father and Tyrion for company has made you paranoid,” Cersei scoffed. “Do you expect us to be going to war with the North sometime soon, sister? Ned Stark is Robert’s loyal dog, you know that as well as I. I don’t worry about Northern defenses because there is no reason to. Lord Stark is loyal to Robert, and Robert plans to betroth the Stark girl to my Joffrey. We will have Northern loyalty for decades to come.”

“You sound so certain,” Eleyna mused. She certainly wouldn’t want to be Sansa Stark — Joffrey had become quite the mean-spirited boy in her years away from the Red Keep, and she often wondered what happened to the sweet little toddler he’d been when she left. Maybe he’d be kinder to his future wife.

****

There is a surprising amount of people in the courtyard of Winterfell when Eleyna follows Tyrion out of the wheelhouse ahead of Cersei and the children. The entire Stark household came out to meet the King, it seems. From the corner of her eye, Eleyna can see Joffrey preening, and she rolls her eyes at him, turning away before he can see.

The Stark family makes up the first line of welcoming party. A tall, serious-faced man near Robert’s age (wearing his years better, in Eleyna’s opinion) stands next to a pretty red-headed woman – Ned Stark and his Tully wife. She can hear her father in her head — “Honorable to a fault – where does honor get you in war?” — as she watches Lord Stark and his household kneel before Robert. The King waves them to their feet and regards Lord Stark solemnly.

“You got fat,” Robert says. Eleyna scoffs internally — Robert enjoyed his wine and feasting, and it showed — and she watches Ned Stark raise an eyebrow pointedly before both men start to laugh. She resists the urge to shake her head and moves her attention to the rest of the Starks.

Eleyna means to scan down the line of children — five of them, and all close in age, gods above Lord and Lady Stark had been busy — but her eyes land on the Heir of Winterfell and stop. Robb Stark’s coloring is all Tully, like his mother, all dark auburn curls and bright blue eyes. The expression he wears is all Lord Stark. She wonders idly what he’d look like wearing a smile — something tells her it would light his face up.

Tywin had brought Robb Stark up exactly once, when Eleyna had come of an age to betroth. Robert had wanted Tywin to arrange a marriage between the Stark heir and the Lannister heir. Tywin had read the letter to her and then promptly thrown it on the fire. He was adamant that his heir would not ever marry into the North. “You are a lioness, my daughter, and no child of mine will be a wolf if I can help it.”

“— and my goodsister, the Lady Eleyna Lannister.” Robert’s voice filtered in, and Eleyna blinked. She’d been staring at the Stark boy too long.

****

Robb stood solemnly by his father as they filled the courtyard. He could guess at some of them by reputation alone — the tall golden haired knight must be the Kingslayer, Ser Jaime Lannister, and the boy next to him was likely the Crown Prince, Joffrey. The king — a larger man than Robb had expected, a man who looked as though he enjoyed wine — stopped in front of Father, and the two men stared at each for a long tense moment.

Robb looked past them as the king spoke jovially to his father and greeted his mother. The queen’s wheelhouse had made it — barely — into the courtyard. First out was a short, little man who shared the Kingslayer’s blonde hair. “That’s the Imp!” Robb heard Arya whisper.

Robb’s eyes caught on the next person to exit, a golden-haired girl who looked close to his own age. He mentally ran through the members of the queen’s family — with that blonde hair, how could she be anything but Lannister? — and decided this had to be Eleyna Lannister, Tywin Lannister’s youngest daughter. He studied her delicate features, softer somehow than her elder sister’s. Robb would never say it — hadn’t Theon just said that morning that the queen was proud and vain? — but Eleyna Lannister was, in a word, beautiful, moreso than her sister in his opinion.

The instant the introductions and ceremony were finished, Father and the king disappeared down into the crypts, and the Lannisters were escorted off to the guest wing. Robb found his eyes following the Lady Eleyna as she passed by him, her arm around the shoulders of Prince Tommen.

Theon thumped him on the shoulders. “Aye, she’s a beauty, isn’t she?” He inhaled through his teeth as he watched the Lannister heiress walk away. “You know I heard they call her the Golden Rose of the Westerlands? Gods above, imagine being the man to get to marry that?”

Robb didn’t want to imagine it, not when he could feel Jaime Lannister’s glare boring into the side of his head. Rather, he felt like any perceived slight against the Kingslayer’s little sister would earn him a sword through the back. He swallowed, and dragged Theon off out of Lannister’s earshot before he could get himself in trouble.

****

“You’re walking with the Stark boy tonight,” Cersei said as she swept into the library. Eleyna looked up from her book with an eyebrow raised.

“Good afternoon to you, too, Cersei,” she snarked. “What are you on about now?”

“Myrcella is far too young to be considered for a betrothal,” Cersei snapped. She sat dramatically in a chair across the table — Eleyna oft thought Cersei would have done well in a theater troupe. “And I will be dead in the grave before I see my only daughter shipped off North.”

“I wasn’t aware Lord Stark was seeking a marriage for his heir,” Eleyna hummed. She closed the book and eyed her elder sister. “Are you not concerned with offending our hosts? Custom dictates that eldest available son and the eldest available daughter enter together.”

Cersei waved it away. “He isn’t, as far as I know. But you know Robert. He’ll take any opportunity to join our family with his precious Starks. Bad enough that he’s already promised Joff to the eldest Stark girl. No.” She shook her head. “To hell with custom. The Stark boy will have to content himself with you instead of my sweet Myrcella. I will not have my only daughter placed in the hands of a Northern brute.”

“Cersei.” Eleyna had long since mastered the exact tone of voice Tywin Lannister used to keep his children in line — perks of growing up at her father’s knee — and Cersei rolled her eyes, but stopped insulting the Starks, thank the gods.

It was a long moment before Eleyna spoke again. “I will walk with Robb Stark.” Cersei started to smirk and Eleyna resisted the urge to hit her sister — as usual, Cersei had gotten what she wanted. She gritted her teeth as she spoke. “You… are not entirely wrong. Myrcella is rather young. She’d be better suited with the younger Stark boy. Bran, I believe his name is.”

“I knew you’d see it my way.” Cersei patted Eleyna’s hand and swept out of the room as Tyrion entered.

“That’s not—” But Cersei was already gone. Eleyna rolled her eyes.

“Cersei in the library?” Tyrion said with an air of incredulity as he took Cersei’s seat. “Whatever is that about?”

“It seems I’m to be escorted by Robb Stark this evening. Cersei is convinced that if he takes Myrcella, Robert will betroth her to the man.” Eleyna eyed her brother over the table. “I don’t know how and I don’t know why. But somehow, this is your fault.”

Tyrion shrugged, tapping idly. “You wound me, sister. You truly believe me so scheming?”

“Yes,” Eleyna said flatly. She shook her head and reopened her book. “You know as well as I how protective Cersei is of her children.”

“Her one redeeming quality.”

Eleyna’s lips quirked. “You said something to her. Admit it.”

“It is hardly my fault if our dear elder sister takes a jest seriously,” Tyrion said casually. “No real harm done, though. In fact, I do believe you will make a fine couple with the young Stark, should a betrothal actually form from this single escort.”

Eleyna snorted in a rather unladylike manner. “Father would sooner see dragons return.”

Tyrion couldn’t really disagree with that, but he shrugged anyway. “Stranger things have happened.”

Eleyna didn’t dignify that with a response.

[comfortless]

syl you can not casually mention blacksmith König and leave it at that!

sighing… ok, yes, i will talk about blacksmith! König more..! ^^

content/warnings: 18+. minors do not interact. violence, physical/emotional abuse, descriptions of injury, death, angst, marriage on the gallows au.

Before König, there was his father, his father’s father and so on. Hardened men who were left to rot on the outskirts of the little village: sharpen blades, birth something from slabs of iron and silver. The work was tedious, but never dull. Scrape, burn, turn and roll- over and over until the smoke rose from the pit to sting at his eyes. Birth by fire wasn’t only in myths of dragons and phoenixes; he witnessed it each time he held pure malice in his hands as his hammer struck. Nothing became something, deadly and cruel. Day and night his life and lungs were filled to brimming with hellfire.

Accidents happen, naturally. No matter how careful he’s been, there’s nothing to keep the flame from entirely taking back after giving so much.

König’s father lost a finger while mentoring him.

His blue eyes were fixed on the man’s callused hand as the freshly smithed blade sliced through the digit like it was little more than a dollop of honey, no blood. There had been nothing but the crack of bone carved cleanly through, then the wet sizzle of meat cooking as it fell into the pit.

His father had screeched like a starved demon then, a barrage of insults tossed his son’s way like little more than passing pleasantries: oaf, useless cur, bitch.

König hadn’t been concerned, he sat on the stone bench looking up at his father and told him so, that he was fine: it had been cauterized, cleansed by the fire.

König lost the same finger that day.

His mother had fallen ill sometime last winter. The last memory he had of her was the look of frailty on her face, how her skin felt so cold and yet she lie dampened with sweat.

The dogs and buzzards had gotten to her grave, but it wasn’t them he felt any of the fire’s malice for.

Just his father.

The villagers didn’t know what became of the blacksmith, but König could recall it every night; how even with his dying breath he had only thought to curse his only son.

So, he wears the hood of the last executioner now, and the people shy away. They don’t like the look of death unless they can participate in it as a divined audience.

The dogs are never hungry, there’s illness all throughout the valley, and sometimes it only shines through in shimmering eyes while the villagers stare and giggle at the next withering soul led to the gallows.

König knows he should be there; like mother and father, his bones should be shared between panting mouths and blood-stained beaks. Sometimes the boars come sniffing too, and he’s always hated them, maybe even more than the birds. They’re ugly and sturdy, squealing and snarling like his father.

The villagers looked at the boars, though, because they were useful. Their eyes were hungry and happy each night the men set out on a hunt, unaware that their sons and daughters lurked in the bellies of the very beasts they starved for.

It’s cold even during the summer months in his shack.

There are blankets, a kitchen, a hearth, but it’s empty. The winter makes its wastelands each coming year, envious of how he can accomplish such with fire instead of ice. He doesn’t need to clean. The ash blackens the wood, cleanses all. One day, maybe, it would scrub him too.

The fire is a womb, but it’s never birthed anything truly alive. Not until her. A wildfire swept the field where travelers had gathered. With their supplies reduced to the very cinders König had come to adore, the surviving members sweep right into this cursed place like it’s a holy temple.

And the fire gave her to him.

König doesn’t know where this woman came to settle from; she isn’t like the other villagers, not even the travelers with their items and skills for selling. There’s still life in her eyes. He watches her as she wanders down the street with a smile on her face, one that speaks of a kindness that not a single one of these people deserves.

She introduces herself to them too, without a title to her name, and all at once any interest fades as the ghosts wander away from her.

His mother used to force him into the church when she was still alive.

She would take him by the hand as he lumbered after her, sticking out amongst the crowd of parishioners who would sing their hymns and stare at him with contempt behind their eyes. He hated going, but he did it for his mother; father was much too busy to spend his time with her and her fantasies. But König learned of angels there, fragile feathered things, all eyes and wings that wouldn’t stand a chance against a blade.

He didn’t think delicate things could be holy until her sweet, gentle smile is cast upon him.

This lady walks right up to him, doesn’t bat an eye at his hood when her lips curl up as she introduces herself. She doesn’t mind the sack of weapons thrown over his shoulder to take to the marketplace— the swords, the daggers, none of it. Her eyes don’t even glance their way; she looks only to him.

Women like this don’t want their homes and beds covered in ash, cinder in place of incense, fire instead of honey. But still she smiles while he says nothing.

König isn’t the only man who’s heart she steals, either.

The village is all gray, smoke and rot except where she walks. Flowers spring up for the coming spring, the deer and foxes are calling out for mates, and it’s all because of her— everyone must know it.

The farmer’s son brings her fresh fruit and whispers into her ear while they pass by his shack on a stroll. The man’s arm curls around her waist so naturally that König can only be reminded of the way that dagger sank between his fathers fingers, tore off a bit of him to feed back to hungry flame. If there were any god above he knew right then that it wouldn’t want him to allow that to happen to her. Not to an angel.

When the rest of the men, dogs and seraphim sleep, König tears the farmer’s boy in two— split down chest to abdomen and left as food for the pigs, right there in the middle of the field.

He doesn’t pray, he hasn’t since the last time he knelt by his mother’s sickbed, but he closes his eyes and breathes out a wish when he leaves that bloodied dagger at her doorstep.

He doesn’t pray, but he weeps when he rallies the villagers to apprehend her. She cries and fusses, face puffy from sleep and hair a mess. There isn’t a speck of blood on her, but the vultures take her anyway. König didn’t want to see her hurt; when her eyes find his, he turns away.

The day of her execution arrives like a festival ceremony. It’s been some time since the last, the scavengers are hungry, so famished he thinks he can almost hear them lick their teeth. There would be no death today, it’s already been decided. In distant places, a single act of devotion is all it takes to save a life, one that the beasts didn’t have the right to take.

The hunger wasn’t always just for death, but for something… a turn and change like steel in fire.

When the angel is taken to her death, rope dangling from her neck like a lead meant for cattle, he steps forward, parting the crowd with an ease. He’s practiced this a time or two in the smoke already, a lonesome and loathing god in the fog. The others scurry from him, looking up at him with pinched brows and bared teeth as if to goad he take her life instead.

Instead, he only catches her eye, smiles and lowers himself on one knee.

[ink-perfect]

Hi Aspen. Can you write an romantic hurt and comfort (by comfort=bittersweet) of Zoro as the god of war. Who was in love with a mortal. Prince Sanji of the baratie, however the blonde died during the titan war. Letting the god of war grief and rage end the war in a single day.

Thousands years has passed since then. As the empty throne of the god of love were filled. And Zoro was suprise when he find out it was sanji- sanji who assesended to be the god of love.. however the blonde loses all of his memories about his mortal life. (Is a test from Luffy (king of god). Wether do he and Zoro love could withstand everything. Including a memory wipe)

back to you.

## request!

─ about: animanga/live action zoro x sanji ft. a lil luffy at the end⋆. romantic, fluff, angst-ish (?), 3rd person ⋆. gods au, established relationship, memory loss ─ a/n: thank you for the request!!!!! 🤍 this is my very first time writing character x character or a fantasy au, i hope it's semi-decent 😭

the battlefield was a graveyard, bathed in carmine under the dark sky.

the once proud fields of lush green, where the sun had shone down with warmth and peace, was reduced to a wasteland of blood and ruin. bodies littered the ground, crimson running down to nest in the cracks of the earth.

and at the centre of it all stood roronoa zoro, god of war.

the scent of iron filled his nostrils as he sheathed his swords, the thick silence pressing against him like a vice. his muscles, though worn and aching, held their strength, but his heart - his heart had long since shattered.

prince sanji was dead.

the war god had lived for countless years, fought innumerable battles, and defeated legion enemies, but nothing had ever hurt like this. zoro’s love for sanji, a mere mortal, had been the one light in a life filled with conflict, and now it had been extinguished. the blond prince, who had stood beside zoro against the titans, who had defied the gods themselves to fight for his people, was gone. taken by the very war zoro had sworn to end.

it had been a blur - the final battle against the titans. the cries of war, the clash of steel, the earth shaking beneath their feet. zoro had fought like a demon, tearing through enemies without hesitation, knowing sanji was close by, fighting his own battle. but then, there had been a scream, high and filled with a terror zoro had never heard from him before. he had turned to see the prince fall, his body crumpling to the ground, blood spilling from a wound too deep for any mortal to survive.

zoro had felt something inside him break at that moment: a sensation that he had never experienced before. he was a god - he was supposed to be invincible, untouchable, yet the pain of losing sanji had brought him to his knees. his heart had shattered, rage and grief twisting together into a firestorm that consumed him. the world became a haze of blood and fury as he did what no god had ever before - he ended the war in a single day. titans fell before him like leaves in the wind, their ancient power crumbling under the weight of his sorrow.

but even as the final titan drew its last breath, there had been no satisfaction. no victory. all zoro had felt was an empty, hollow ache in his heart where sanji had once been.

he had stood there for hours, cradling the prince’s body, his golden hair matted with blood, soulful eyes forever closed. he had wanted to scream, to beg the fates to give him back. but no one answered. no one ever answered.

that was thousands of years ago.

now, the gods had moved on. time had passed in a blur, the once monumental loss fading into myth. the world changed, new gods rose, and the titan war became nothing more than a story, a distant memory etched into the minds of the immortal. but zoro had never moved on. he never allowed himself to. his heart had become a fortress, a cold, impenetrable place where nothing else could enter. the god of war had become a legend in his own right - feared, respected, and utterly untouchable.

he had fought for millennia, leading armies, defending the heavens from any threat that dared challenge them. but all of it felt meaningless now. he was a god without purpose, without the one thing that had given him reason to fight.

zoro would catch himself at random times - on the battlefield, in the dead of night - thinking of sanji. he’d recall the way sanji’s eyes would spark with anger whenever they argued, the way his lips would curve into that smug grin whenever he teased zoro, or the way his body had felt against his, warm and alive, in those rare moments of tenderness. he had loved sanji, more deeply than he had ever allowed himself to love anyone. but that love had died the day sanji had fallen.

or so he thought.

the news spread like wildfire through the heavens - the empty throne of the god of love had been filled.

it was a matter that zoro cared little for. the god of love had been absent for as long as he could remember. the seat had been empty, and no one had seemed in a rush to fill it. love, after all, was fickle, fleeting - especially to the gods. zoro had scoffed at the idea of anyone taking on the role. love, to him, was nothing but a distant memory, a dream that had died with a mortal prince long ago.

but when he heard the name, everything stopped.

it had been spoken so casually, the news brought to him by one of the lesser gods as if it were just another trivial update, but the words hit him like a blade to the heart. it was a name he hadn’t heard in so long, it had become a ghost in his mind. zoro froze, his hand tightening on the hilt of his sword as the god spoke.

“vinsmoke sanji has ascended to the throne of love,” the god had said, oblivious to the storm brewing in zoro’s chest. “it’s been a long time since we had someone take that seat. king luffy must’ve had a hand in it - no one else would’ve chosen someone so...unconventional.”

sanji. ascended?

zoro had barely heard the rest. he left immediately, his mind racing with disbelief, with fear, with something that felt almost like hope, though he tried to crush it before it could take root.

sanji, his sanji, the prince who had died in his arms, was now a god? how could that be? how could someone mortal ascend to such a place, to the very seat of love itself, after so many years? zoro’s heart pounded in his chest as he made his way to the grand hall of the gods, the place where the god of love resided.

he arrived at the hall, hiding behind the towering white pillars, his breath shallow as he took in the sight before him.

there, sitting on the throne of the god of love, was sanji.

his sanji.

zoro’s heart lurched at the sight. the former prince looked exactly as he remembered - his golden hair gleamed in the divine light, framing a face that had haunted the war god's dreams for centuries. his sharp blue eyes flickered with intelligence, with that same fire, that same spirit that had drawn zoro to him so long ago.

but something was missing.

sanji’s gaze swept over the room, eyes passing over zoro without a flicker of memory. those eyes - once filled with love and laughter and defiance - held no warmth, no recognition.

zoro’s heart dropped as he realised what was wrong. the man before him was sanji, but at the same time, it wasn’t. he had ascended, but the man zoro had loved, the man who had fought and bled and died beside him, was gone.

sanji had no memory of his mortal life.

the god’s fists clenched at his sides, his jaw tightening as the cogs turned in his head. he realised something yet again: this was no miracle. this was a test.

he could see the hand of luffy, the king of the gods, all over this cruel twist of fate. luffy, with his relentless optimism, believed in love as the most powerful force in existence. he believed that even death could not destroy it. this scenario had to be one of his experiments stemming from this obsession.

and it was torture.

zoro wanted to scream. to grab sanji and force him to remember, to shake him until the light came back into his eyes, until he looked at him the way he had all those years ago. but he couldn’t. not yet.

instead, he watched from the shadows, his heart aching in ways he thought he had long since buried. the sight was almost unbearable - the prince looked the same as he had all those years ago, every detail of him painfully perfect. and yet, nothing about the way he held himself, the way he looked at the world, was the same.

what was zoro to do?

several days had passed with zoro lingering in the hall, his gaze fixed on the god who bore the face of his lost prince. sanji moved among the other deities with familiar ease, his sharp tongue and fiery spirit intact. yet, a steely air clung to him - a wall that hadn't existed before. zoro's heart wrenched each time their paths crossed, each time sanji's empty, unknowing eyes swept over him. they were strangers now. the irony wasn't lost on zoro: the new god of love had no love left within him, not as he once did. it was a cruel cosmic joke, taunting him with what he'd lost.

on the seventh day of his silent vigil, zoro could take no more.

he approached sanji’s throne on impulse, his heart pounding in his chest, each step heavy with the weight of centuries of grief and unspoken longing. the hall was empty, save for the two of them - sanji, draped in the pristine robes of a god, and zoro, still clad in his war armor, hands fiddling with the swords strapped to his side as a safety mechanism. sanji looked up as zoro neared, his expression unreadable as he placed him.

“roronoa zoro, god of war.” he spoke after a moment, his voice smooth. “to what do i owe the pleasure?”

the words were so formal, so cold, goddamnit. it took everything in zoro not to flinch.

“i-” zoro hesitated, his mouth suddenly dry. how could he even begin to explain?

“y’know, you’ve been hanging around an awful lot, war god.” sanji helped him out, his tone light but unmistakably edged with irritation. “do you have a reason for hovering, or are you just enjoying the view?”

zoro’s lips twitched at that - a spark of something familiar in sanji’s teasing, though it wasn’t directed at him the way it used to be. the banter between them had always been a fond memory of zoro’s, but now, sanji’s words were just that - words. detached and impersonal.

zoro crossed his arms, his gaze locking with sanji’s. he took a deep breath in. “i came to tell you that...you remind me of someone,” he spoke carefully, keeping his voice steady despite the roaring storm in his chest.

sanji raised a brow, leaning back in his throne. “do i, now?”

“yes,” zoro smirked back, hoping this would mask the flips his stomach was doing.

“someone i once loved.”

the silence that followed was deafening. sanji’s teasing expression faltered, just for a moment, but he recovered quickly, shrugging as if zoro’s words meant nothing. “i see. well, i’m afraid you’re mistaken. i don’t know anything about you, or whoever it is you’ve lost.”

zoro’s fists tightened at his sides, a surge of frustration beginning to boil under his skin. he had known this would happen - that sanji wouldn’t remember - but it still hurt like hell to hear him dismiss it so easily. zoro couldn’t just tell him everything; he couldn’t throw all their history at sanji’s feet and expect him to understand. this was more than a simple loss of memory - this was a divine test. sanji had been brought back, in a form zoro needed to ease into and figure out how to reach.

the war god took a slow breath and shook his head, forcing himself to stay calm. “you may not remember,” he said quietly, “but that doesn’t change what happened.”

sanji’s eyes narrowed, suspicion creeping into his gaze. “what exactly do you think happened, then? what is it you’re waiting for? some kind of…memory?”

zoro wasn’t even sure what he was waiting for himself. was it a sign that the man he loved was still there, beneath the godly mask of indifference?

“i’m not waiting for anything,” zoro said finally, his voice rough. “i just… wanted to see for myself.”

sanji tilted his head, his gaze and tone hardening. “see what?”

zoro’s chest ached. he couldn’t put it into words. instead, he searched sanji’s eyes, now desperately hoping for something, anything, to show that the connection between them wasn’t completely lost. he almost considered praying, but quickly thought better of it.

the god of love was already busy enough.

zoro's jaw clenched. "you've changed," he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

sanji gave a short, humourless laugh, running a hand through his golden hair. "i’d hope so. becoming a god tends to have that effect."

zoro stared at him, every fiber of his being resisting the urge to shout, to demand, to fight for what they had lost. but he couldn't - not yet. he needed to wait, to let things unfold slowly as he had promised himself he would earlier. it was a test, after all, and zoro wasn't one to fail a challenge, no matter how impossible it seemed.

"i guess it does," zoro murmured, his voice softer than he intended.

sanji’s eyes lingered on zoro for a moment longer than necessary, something unspoken passing between them, but whatever it was vanished as quickly as it had come. this was the final straw for zoro, and he turned around to leave.

sanji shook his head, the frustration clear in his voice as he called out to the war god’s turned back. “wait.”

zoro turned instantly, eyes ablaze with sheer hope.

“why don’t you just say it outright? you keep coming here, talking in riddles, expecting me to…what? suddenly understand something i never lived?”

zoro tried to hold back the surge of emotion that threatened to spill out. “because i don’t know if you can remember. but i do know you feel it. you have to feel it.”

sanji’s eyes snapped up to meet zoro’s at these words, the distance between them suddenly shrinking as the intensity of zoro's words hung in the air.

“feel…what?” sanji leaned in, his voice almost a whisper, as if he wasn’t sure he even wanted the answer.

zoro took a step closer, the words coming from a place deep inside him, where centuries of grief, rage, and love had been buried. he couldn’t hold it back anymore. there was no other route. he let the floodgates open.

“you and i - we fought together, side by side. we saved each other countless times. you were the prince of the baratie, and i was the god of war. we loved each other… fiercely. you died in my arms during the titan war.” he rambled.

sanji flinched as if struck, his eyes widening slightly. he opened his mouth to protest, but zoro pressed on, his voice growing softer, more desperate. “i couldn’t save you. and i’ve lived with that pain for thousands of years. but now…you’re here. you’ve been given a second chance, but you don’t remember. and i don’t know how to make you see it.”

the silence that followed was suffocating. sanji sat frozen, his eyes locked on zoro’s as though trying to process the weight of what had just been said. his brow furrowed, and for the first time since his ascension, zoro saw a flicker of something raw and real behind his eyes.

“i…” sanji began, his voice shaky. “i don’t remember any of that. i don’t know who you think i am, but-”

zoro interrupted, his voice breaking slightly. “it’s not about the memories, sanji. it’s about what you feel. deep down, do you really think i’m lying? that i’m just some crazed god trying to torment you?”

sanji hesitated. his lips parted as if to respond, but no words came out. instead, his gaze dropped to the floor, his fingers curling tightly around the armrests of his throne. zoro watched him struggle, knowing that the truth was buried somewhere deep within him, hidden under layers of divinity, under the weight of his new life as a god.

for a long moment, neither of them spoke. zoro’s heart pounded, his pulse echoing in his ears as he waited, hoping, praying that some part of sanji would break through. he couldn’t lose him again. not like this.

then, finally, sanji spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “when i look at you… i feel something. but it doesn’t make sense. it’s like…something is missing. like i should know you, but i can’t place why.”

zoro’s breath caught in his throat. he took another step closer, closing the distance between them. “that’s because you do know me. you know me better than anyone ever has. your brain might not, but your heart…it remembers.”

for a moment, the silence stretched again, but this time it was different. it was filled with unspoken understanding, with a quiet, fragile connection that hadn’t been there before. sanji looked up at zoro, his eyes searching for something, and for the first time since their reunion, he saw a glimpse of the man he had once known.

“i don’t understand why i feel like this,” sanji murmured quietly, almost to himself. “but i trust you.”

zoro’s heart swelled, a flicker of hope stirring deep within him. he hadn’t realised how much he needed to hear those words until now.

sanji stood slowly, stepping down from his throne, his movements tentative. he was still the regal, newly ascended god of love, but in this moment, he was also sanji - his sanji, the man who had once fought by his side, laughed in the face of danger, and loved with a fierceness that somehow rivalled zoro’s own.

zoro didn’t move, afraid that any sudden gesture might shatter this fragile moment. sanji stopped in front of him, his eyes still searching, still unsure, but there was something in his expression that wasn’t there before - trust, as thin as it was, beginning to take root.

“tell me more,” sanji whispered, his voice low. “about…us. about who i was. maybe if i hear it, it’ll come back.”

zoro’s throat tightened, but he nodded, his gaze never leaving sanji’s. he had waited centuries for this chance, and though he knew it wouldn’t be easy, the spark of hope flickering between them was enough to give him strength.

“you were a prince,” zoro began, his voice soft yet steady, the memories rushing back to him as though no time had passed at all. “you had your whole life ahead of you, but you gave it all up to fight in the titan war. you stood by my side when no one else would. you were stubborn, and a real pain in the ass sometimes, but…you were loyal. you always had my back, no matter what.”

sanji’s lips twitched into the faintest of smiles, his eyes softening as he listened.

zoro continued, the words flowing freely now, as though the dam of centuries-old grief had finally cracked. “we fought together, lived together…and we…we loved each other. you drove me crazy, and i wouldn’t have had it any other way. you were the best damn thing that ever happened to me, sanji.”

sanji’s breath hitched, his eyes widening as zoro spoke. he opened his mouth to say something, but his voice faltered. instead, he took a shaky step forward, his hand reaching out hesitantly toward zoro’s chest, as if drawn to him by instinct alone. the touch was tentative at first - sanji’s fingers brushing against the fabric of zoro’s cloak - but it was enough. zoro’s heart pounded in his chest as sanji’s hand rested over his heart, the warmth of his touch sending a wave of emotion crashing over him.

“i… i don’t remember everything,” sanji murmured, his voice trembling. “but when you talk like that… it feels real. it feels like i’m missing something, like there’s a piece of me that’s been locked away.”

zoro swallowed hard, his voice rough with emotion. “it’s real, sanji. it’s always been real.”

sanji’s gaze lifted to meet zoro’s, his eyes filled with something zoro hadn’t seen since the war - vulnerability, hope, and a glimmer of the love that had once burned so fiercely between them.

“then…i want to remember,” sanji whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

zoro’s hand came up, gently covering sanji’s where it rested on his heart. his touch was steady, his grip firm but careful, as if afraid that the moment might dissolve if he held on too tightly. “you will,” zoro said, his voice low, almost a vow. “i’ll make sure of it.”

sanji’s gaze wavered, and for a moment, he looked like the prince zoro had fallen in love with those many years ago - a little lost, but still brave enough to face the unknown. “i don’t know how,” sanji admitted, his voice cracking slightly. “but…if what you’re saying is true, if i was that person, then i can’t just walk away from this.”

zoro gave a small, bittersweet smile, the tension in his chest easing slightly for the first time in millennia. “walking away never really was your thing, even back then. you always came back to me no matter what.”

sanji’s lips quirked into a half-smile, but the weight of the unknown still hung between them. “then i guess i’ll have to trust you,” he said softly, his voice laced with uncertainty, but also with a quiet determination.

the silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable now - it was filled with the promise of something rekindling, waiting to be found again.

suddenly, the grand hall shifted. a bright, golden light filled the room, and zoro knew what it meant before the booming voice even spoke.

“oi, you two!” luffy, the king of the gods, appeared at the entrance to the hall, his wide grin practically glowing as he bounded toward them. his eyes sparkled with delight, as if watching the two of them like this was the best entertainment he’d had in centuries. “looks like things are finally getting interesting, huh?”

sanji blinked, clearly startled by luffy’s sudden appearance, but zoro just sighed, his annoyance thinly veiled. “what do you want, luffy?” he grumbled, though his tone lacked any real heat.

luffy bounced in place, his grin never fading. “i’ve been waiting for you two to figure it out! man, this was harder than i thought it’d be, but it looks like you’re almost there!”

sanji’s eyes narrowed in confusion, turning to zoro. “what’s he talking about?”

zoro exhaled deeply, ready to get everything off his chest. “this was all his idea. the memory wipe, bringing you back as a god…it was a test.”

sanji’s brows furrowed, his confusion deepening. “a test?”

luffy clapped his hands together, still beaming. “yup! i wanted to see if your love could survive anything, even time, even losing all your memories! you guys were always such a strong pair, so i figured, why not make it interesting?”

sanji blinked, looking between zoro and luffy, clearly trying to process everything. “so you…tested us? but why?”

luffy’s grin softened, his tone uncharacteristically sincere. “because i believe in love. and i believe in you two.”

zoro’s gaze met sanji’s as soon as those words were spoken, and in that moment, something seemed to shift. sanji’s eyes widened slightly as the pieces began to click into place. his fingers tightened around zoro’s hand, his grip no longer hesitant.

luffy’s smile grew even wider when he noticed this, if that was possible. “i thought this would happen,” he said with an excited bounce. “you’re starting to remember, aren’t you?”

sanji’s breath caught in his throat. he looked at zoro again, something breaking free within him, like the floodgates of memory had finally begun to open. flashes of battles, laughter, and shared moments flickered in his mind - moments that felt distant yet so familiar. the feel of zoro’s hand in his, the sound of his voice…it all started to make sense.

“i…” sanji’s voice was shaky, but there was a spark in his eyes now, a light that hadn’t been there before. “i think…”

zoro’s heart raced. he took a step closer, their faces only inches apart now, his voice trembling with hope. “sanji?”

sanji’s brows relaxed, his fingers interlocking with zoro’s in a swift movement. “you idiot…i never could get rid of you, could i?”

it was like a dam had broken inside zoro, a rush of emotion that was nearly too good to be true. the man standing before him was no longer the distant, cold god of love - he was sanji, the same sanji who had loved him in life, who had fought by his side, and who had died in his arms all those years ago. he was back. zoro’s throat tightened, and for a moment, he couldn’t find the words. instead, he pulled sanji closer, pressing their foreheads together.

“you’re back,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. “you’re really back.”

sanji let out a shaky laugh, his breath warm against zoro’s skin. “took me long enough, huh?”

zoro couldn’t hold back anymore. he closed the remaining distance between them, capturing sanji’s lips in a kiss that was desperate, tender, and filled with all the love and pain that had been torturing him for millennia. sanji responded immediately, his hand gripping zoro’s armor, pulling him closer as if afraid to let go again.

the kiss was the culmination of countless years of longing, of love that had transcended death and time itself. it was bittersweet, but it was also healing, a reunion of two souls who had always found their way back to each other.

when they finally pulled away, breathless, sanji rested his forehead against zoro’s, a small smile playing on his lips. “i’m not going anywhere this time,” he whispered, his voice firm, a promise.

zoro chuckled softly, his heart lighter than it had been in thousands of years. “good. because i’m not letting you go.”

from behind them, luffy whooped in delight, clapping his hands loudly. “see? i knew it! you guys passed the test! love wins!”

zoro rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at his lips. he glanced at sanji, who was looking at him with the same fond exasperation he had worn so often in their past lives.

“love wins, huh?” sanji muttered, shaking his head. “you’re a real piece of work, luffy.”

zoro just smirked. “but he’s right this time.”

sanji chuckled softly, then leaned in, his lips brushing against zoro’s again, softer this time, but just as full of promise. “yeah. i guess he is.”

and so, as the world shifted around them, zoro knew that no matter what obstacles awaited them in the future, he and sanji would get through them together. they had conquered death, survived the loss of memories, and stood the test of time itself. whatever came next, zoro knew one thing for certain:

they would always find their way back to each other.

── ౨ৎ masterlist

[toweringclam]

TMA RPG Entities 1: The Desolate

Explanation

AKA: The Empty Flame, The Wasteland, The Crumbles, The Broken Foundation, All Is Ash

Fears: Pain, loss, burning, failure, existential ennui, impermanence, materialism, betrayal

Manifestations: fire, ash, broken statues, puddles of wax, empty spaces, ruins, survivor's guilt, damaged and discarded toys

Most similar: The Desolation, The Lonely

Avatars: A coward who leads people to their deaths but always escapes, a so-called "genius" who can only interate (never create)

The world is falling apart. Things are worthless. Friendships are transactional. You will let others down and let others down in return. The Desolate is the realization that not only could you lose everything at any moment, but that maybe those things weren't worth anything to begin with.

It often takes the form of discarded, broken things, like toys and statues. Empty, lifeless places like deserts and dead malls. Fire is part of its portfolio, but instead of fuel, there's only a void at the center. Decay, but only of the kind brought by time and wear (as opposed to rot, which is a form of life).

It's said that The Desolate was once a Power of the material world. The spiritual connections between all things and people, but it consumed a being of lightless flame. Those connections were burned, and it hid itself away in the smoke.

[dogpastra]

hi guys. heres my opening and also my first submission to the modern prometheus au

In the dark, the cold and empty street was washed pale by the reflections in the ice and snow. It gave plenty enough to see, and Pastra didn’t intend to stick around in more than one place for too long with the chill already seeping into their legs.

They shivered, the Clyde hood already covering their head, but in this weather, a jacket wouldn’t be able to withstand the cold all night. Their arms folded up to their body to keep just a little warmer as they scanned farther down for signs of location.

The place was jarring, to say the least. Last they were aware of, it was June. Why was it January here and now? It was just them, the cold, and-

“Well! I don’t suppose you have any bright ideas for how to get out of this mess, hmm?”

Right, Lankmann. Their static-voiced companion and creation had followed them, which was, all things considered, a good thing. Probably. Pastra let out a sigh, “No, Lankmann, I don’t. Unless you have something other than calling a taxi to a hotel or something, in the middle of the night, with the roads frozen over this bad.”

“I could use you as a sled!”

“Try again,” They said through a smile.

“Okay, seriously this time, you un-conjure whatever this place is, and we go back to the nice, cozy interior of our house.”

“My house.”

“Close enough.”

“And- I don’t think I brought us here? I thought that was you!”

Lankmann paused, a puzzled expression taking shape on his face. “No? Why would I do that? I’ve got your bills I need to pay, and this terrible conundrum is in the way of that!” He leaned in towards the other as they walked the icy path, “And, frankly, I don’t like ending up in places that aren’t home-shaped.”

Pastra looked past Lankmann’s toothed grimace, their attention caught by the houses and environment along the street.

“So! What does someone do when they are inexplicably tossed to the suburban wastelands?”

“Check the street signs,” Pastra said under their breath, before going on aloud, “Look, the signs. That’s- this is Elk Crescent street! We’re in the actual Dreams Of An Insomniac!”

“So I was right about you conjuring it.”

“No- well, maybe? Point is, this street, this town, I know this town. I made it. So, there should be a gas station up along Main Street that we can make a pit stop at, and from there, we might be able to…” They trailed off, for a moment.

“Able to what?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking. We don’t know what year it is- if it was June before, but it’s still January here, the difference might not just be in the month, but the year, too. And if it’s January, it might be…Either before or after the Wilsons get attacked by Clyde. Which means, there might be an empty house nearby, if we can get to it. Closer than the gas station, too. I think I never had it actually sold with anyone moving in after, so…”

Lankmann frowned. “Oh, god. Don’t even think of that mascot being around, you might manifest it. It’s annoying as-is, we don’t need its canon-counterpart stalking us.”

“I’ll try not to,” Pastra smiled.

“Quick, imagine the town completely emptied!”

“I don’t know if that’s how it works?”

“Make it happen. It’s your town.”

“Clyde hunts parties of 6, or on a day or time that lines up with the number 6, usually. There’s only two of us, and it’s more likely to target people who are weak or alone, as to not draw attention-”

“What did I just say?!”

Pastra laughed, and continued down the street towards a vacant home, as the sharp air caused them to shiver once more, with Lankmann following close behind.

[ogradyfilm]

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga - Hope Takes Root

[The following essay contains MAJOR SPOILERS; YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!]

I. Living Off the Corpse of the Old World

Come on, Max. Tell me your story. What burned you out? Kill one man too many? See too many people die? Lose some family? Oh, so that's it. You lost your family. That makes you something special, does it?

This monologue, originally uttered in 1981’s The Road Warrior, is still thematically relevant to the increasingly sprawling Mad Max Saga, resonating three films and more than four decades later. Every installment in the franchise—from its scrappy, low-budget debut to its most recent spinoff—revolves around loss. The desolate Wasteland takes, and takes, and takes again, consuming friends, family, resources, sanity. Those that linger are little more than disillusioned scavengers—“maggots living off the corpse of the old world.”

That description certainly applies to Dementus, the central antagonist of Furiosa. A charismatic, flamboyant warlord commanding veritable legions of bloodthirsty marauders, the self-proclaimed “King of the Bikers” (one of several grandiose titles that he flaunts like undeserved trophies) quickly establishes himself as a cunning tactician, utilizing an audacious Trojan Horse strategy to effortlessly overwhelm a formidable stronghold with minimal casualties to his own troops.

Despite his short-term victories on the battlefield, however, Dementus consistently proves himself to be an utterly incompetent leader in times of peace, with his conquests almost immediately descending into chaos and disarray. He’s essentially a post-apocalyptic Ozymandias in the making: “Round the decay of that colossal wreck,” you can easily imagine the History Man saying of his ruined domain, “the lone and level sands stretch far away.”

II. A Fuel-Injected Suicide Machine

Of course, it is implied that Dementus’ numerous “failures” are actually intentional. Although he claims to seek a “land of abundance,” finding it isn't his true goal; rather, what he desires is the pursuit of paradise—the thrill of a chase without end, futile and fruitless. To paraphrase Michael Mann’s Heat: “For [him], the action is the juice.”

[FINAL WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!]

Beneath his boasts, bluster, and pretensions of ambition, Dementus is a devout nihilist, so irreparably shattered by the tragic deaths of his children (symbolized by the stuffed toy that he constantly carries on his person) that even physical sensation—pain, pleasure, exhilaration—now eludes him. As he explains to Furiosa during their climactic confrontation, the gaping wound in his heart can only be healed (albeit temporarily) by violence—the fleeting adrenaline rush of seizing territory and crushing his enemies underfoot.

Perhaps this is what motivates him to “mentor” our young heroine: he wants to remold something untainted by rust and radiation in his own savage image—not merely as an heir or a replacement for his biological offspring, but as the ultimate validation of his pessimistic philosophy. To this end, he forces the poor girl to watch as he brutally murders her mother, burning every excruciating second of agony and torment into her memory. To add insult to injury, he literally tastes the tears that she weeps, reveling in her grief and misery.

III. Feels Like Hope

Nevertheless, Love somehow manages to endure amidst the despair—like a lush and verdant Green Place thriving in the middle of a barren desert. If Dementus is a dark reflection of Max Rockatansky’s worst qualities—selfishness, cynicism, indiscriminate rage—then Praetorian Jack anticipates his eventual altruism. Like Max, Jack’s parents were once “warriors searching for a righteous cause.” Unfortunately, nobility and morality are as illusory and insubstantial as a mirage among the merciless dunes; following their senseless deaths, their orphaned son resigned himself to an empty existence of defending an egomaniacal tyrant’s supply caravans from roving bandits and rival gangs.

In Furiosa, though, Jack recognizes a kindred spirit. While circumstances have reduced them to their basest survival instincts, they both dream of something greater: she of returning to the home from which she was snatched, and he of discovering a purpose beyond the “fire and blood” of the Road War. Together, they forge a relationship that transcends romance, nourishing the seed of Hope in one another. He wouldn’t hesitate to lay down his life in exchange for hers; and she, in turn, would gladly sacrifice a chance at freedom in order to protect him.

Even Jack’s unceremonious demise can’t totally extinguish the faint ember of optimism that he sparked in Furiosa’s subconscious. Though she briefly succumbs to wrath and exacts cruel vengeance on Dementus, she refuses to fulfill her adversary’s grim prophecy that she will become his successor—the personification of his bleak worldview. Instead, she follows Jack’s example; inspired by his inherent goodness, she conspires to liberate Immortan Joe’s abused and exploited “wives” (glorified sex slaves, valued solely as breeding stock), leading them to salvation beyond his seemingly infinite reach.

IV. Some Kind of Redemption

“Who killed the world?” is a recurring question throughout Mad Max: Fury Road; the complementary characters in its belated prequel provide something resembling an answer. Dementus, haunted by his traumatic Past, destroys everything that he touches; by the conclusion of his journey, his band of loyal disciples has dwindled to a meager handful, and he finally marches towards his doom alone. Joe, meanwhile, rules the Present with an iron fist, but his single-minded obsession with producing a “pure” genetic legacy sabotages his dynastic aspirations; without any “perfect” progeny to inherit his cult of personality, his empire is too fragile to outlast him. Furiosa, on the other hand, realizes that the Future lies not in oppression and subjugation, but in cooperation, collaboration, and compassion.

Greed, authoritarianism, and Hate killed the world; it is therefore only logical that Love should resurrect it.

It’s a message as elegantly simple and universal as the archetypes that populate George Miller’s modern mythology. Furiosa is a worthy addition to the legendary series, expanding upon and recontextualizing its predecessors while simultaneously excelling on its own merits. It is magnificent, spectacular, and appropriately epic.

[pixelprofligate]

this is another Fallout London post. more of a rant but still:

because GOD this is really not good. maybe im just like really critical of stuff but so much of the mod just doesnt add up to...anything? most of the quests are uninteresting or outright present you with dialogue options that outright contradict themselves or basic established lore of the world they've set up, so many locations are near empty and boring as hell to try and explore, with a SIGNIFICANT number of the marked locations having literally nothing to find in them, some of them actually having nothing in them at all, there's tons of NPCs, both generic and some named that have, and i dont mean this hyperbolically, literally no dialogue at all, the mods full of things that are just wrong about britian, like posters calling the tower bridge london bridge, the combat encounters are regularly boring because all the factions are functionally the same in terms of equipment, lots of the weapons you can use have blatantly anachronistic modifications like actual real modern day attachments, all of the "new enemies" are just model swaps that use the same skeleton and movesets and often the same exact sounds as base fallout 4 enemies and often aren't even properly rigged for the skeletons they used (like the fucking assaultron replacement that just constantly clips thru its own model anytime it moves at all because they gave it a skirt it was never built to have), and on top of all of it, the mod itself just breaks all the time. there were multiple times quests couldn't progress because NPCs just didn't say the line of dialogue they were suppose to, completely softlocking their quests (this happened with every single main faction at least once), and to top it off most of the assets actually used in this mod weren't even made for it, most come from the Capital Wasteland Project, but even things like the terminals and most of the guns are just straight up from other mods. also, multiple terminal entries were just outright written by AI. and im not saying that like "oh theyre just poorly written so i assume its AI" i mean the lead dev in their discord fucking confirmed it and said he had no clue it happened. like i get a lot of people worked really hard on this, and i dont want to shit on them, but to call this mod "one of the best things fallout has seen in years" i think is a massive disservice to everything else fallout related weve seen since even 76 came out. this mod is a mess of ideas that rarely add up to anything interesting, with a story that gives you no real reason to care or engage with it, that leads to a fight that fucking sucks so much the final battle is terrible (you're forced into a melee fight with a weapon that isn't any of yours on a tiny catwalk where you have to beat the same guy TWICE in a row, and then he gets great mouse detectived), and ultimately never feels fulfilling. it does so little actually interesting with the factions it made or the area its set in and the fact people absolutely adore this mod fucking baffles me. this mod is not good. i genuinely want to know what people like about this because i cannot understand a single aspect of it, ESPECIALLY the people saying this is better than like, base Fallout 4 itself.