#its very easy to connect and understand where they're coming from . i feel like if i wasnt a 4 id either be a 7 or a 9 LMAOOO

[shameful4]

i love e7s

[winterzsurprise]

Change My Mind [5]

Pairing: BTS x reader

SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.

Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor

Words: 9.4k

So I edited chapter 3 where Yoongi told Reader to wait till next year for their contract renewal because from the discourse on twt yesterday, they renewed their contract October later in 2018 (which is the year this is taking place).

Gonna stop yapping so here's a 9.4k chapter with a lot of explaining, i hope it all makes sense oh lord this chap is not beta read AT ALL. ALSO WTF IS WITH THE TAGS THEY'RE NOT WORKINGGGGGG

thank you all for your comments and likes, it keeps me going :DD

<<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>>

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Namjoon was a man of science.

He believes in everything that can be explained in a lengthy and intricately detailed book filled with an even more difficult terminologies and worded examinations backed up by photographic evidence to prove it. 

To him, if he didn't see it happen before his very eyes, it was fiction, a lie.

It's how it should be.

As a child, he frowned upon the heretics and the desperate, thanking a nonexistent god for the fruit of their hard work. He couldn’t fathom how they could weep so genuinely as they prayed on their knees for blessings that never come, and if gods were real, he could never understand how devoted they are for someone who turned a blind eye to the challenges they faced.

He never understood how the lonely could resort to immorality in their desperation for a soulmate, couldn't fathom how easily they shed their humanity for a morsel, a hint of that sense of belonging and importance being a tethered gave.

It was dumb.

Life doesn't revolve around soulmates, they should've tried other options instead of blaming the theoretical nirvana for their own misfortune.

Despite being a child born from two mates, he never believed in the concepts of soulmates, thinking it childish as it was an idea the lonely and the hopeless hung onto to feel better for themselves. He believed that his parents would have met either way without their soulmarks, would've fallen in love the same and bring him to life. 

Because they were meant to be, even without the marks to prove it.

Sure he wished to eventually settle down with someone who also loved him as his mother does with his father but he doesn't believe in the spiritual connection.

But science has nothing on the sensation he was feeling right now.

The moment the clock struck midnight, a heartbeat suddenly began to drum at the back of his head, but it was faint and muffled as if it was distant and came through multiple walls but he could hear its panicked pace echoing in his skull. In the silence you and Jungkook’s departure has left, Namjoon began to feel dread bubbling inside him. A tension slowly building up with the beat of the racing heart at the back of his head.

It felt like those slowly crescending notes of a horror movie's background music as the killer stalks nearer. There's a tension thickening but he's the only one who could feel it, could sense it coming.

It's making him nervous beyond belief how he doesn't know what is afoot.

A gasp tore through his thought process and he looked up to see his Yoongi hyung eyeing something invisible in his right hand, disbelief apparent in his wide eyes as the others turned to him with concerned curiosity.

But Namjoon already knew what it was, at least felt like he knew what it is, although he himself is incredulous.

He's read up everything that he could about soulmates in his teenage years wanting to refute his parents' insistence on how they wouldn't have clicked as well as they are without the soulmark yet none of them could explain how he just knows the heartbeat at the back of his head belonged to you.

________

Fate truly has a funny way of revealing who your soulmate is.

It was said that the sensation when you first meet your soulmate should be a wave of cold relief flushing all the worries out of your system. Your mother and Jihae told you stories of the sudden sense of belonging, like finding the last piece of the puzzle from a mere accidental brush of a hand with a stranger on the streets.

If it was in any other scenario, you would've agreed with them.

But as Jungkook raises both your hands to survey the skin for any mark, your world shrinks down like an air tight ziplock bag to only fit you and him. A low thrum resonated in the air, mellifluous and sweet, a direct contrast to the dull but racing heartbeat at the back of your head. Jolts of electricity vibrated under your skin starting from your joined hands and spreading across your muscles and lighting your nerve endings awake.

The walls around you closed in, not because it was Jungkook who you happened to be fated to. But because there's a thin, red thread tied around your pinkie.

A red string of fate.

And it's not tethered to Jungkook.

It goes behind you and you dread to know who it leads to.

There's a curious tug from down the line, the thread turning tangible at every pull and the urge to run away, to hide in the comforts of your home grew tenfold. Because you're sure the string leads to one of the boys.

People who became your closest companions after years of being their make-up artist. Half of which you've rejected before and four of them you've remained friends with. 

Isn't this a bit too much of a joke?

How funny it must've been for the divinities to watch you reject the men eventually revealed to be your soulmate. They must've cackled, pointing fingers and all, as they watched you reject them. You wouldn’t put it behind them to connect the end of your string to someone you’ve also turned down.

You watched Jungkook speedrun through the five stages of grief in a few seconds, face contorting every so often it made it hard to get a read on what he's feeling. He let out a shaky exhale as he came to, doe eyes meeting yours with an incredulous sheen. 

His continuous silence stuffed cottons into your throat, the conflicted expression he has settled on only furthering the panic in your chest. 

You retract your hand but he was faster, catching your wrist in a tighter grip. There's a question hanging from his lips but they cease to exist the moment you both see the mark on your finger.

In the space between your index and middle finger lies a black quarter note, inked into the skin of your middle. The tint bold and black. 

Raising his own hand, your eyes landed on the same pattern etched on his on the opposite side. As if hypnotized, he intertwined his fingers and the same gentle thrum came back, along with a comforting warmth echoing from your soulmate mark and spreading throughout your body, almost rendering you boneless from how intense yet easily it relieved you of the stress on your body.

You weren't the only one affected by its calming properties. The frustration and anger in Jungkook's from earlier now erased from his face, as if it was never there. Acceptance.

Just like that, the problem is solved; and that unsettles you.

“Noona… Wh-what is happening?”

His voice is so small, shaky and hopeful . Eyes growing larger as he surveys your soulmate marks with a joyful disbelief. He untangled your hand and pulled the soulmark closer to his eye. Curiously, Jungkook hesitantly taps the musical note and shivered with you when skin touched skin.

You both suck in a deep breath, freezing at the foreign sensation it brought you both before a smile that stretches high up to the heavens brightens his face.

Jungkook's eyes were glazed with unshed tears when you found them once more, breath shaky as he placed a kiss onto your knuckles. The sensation of his lips on your skin sending jolts down your spine.

“Noona, we're soulmates.”

You didn't even hear the sound of footsteps running up the stairs nor Taehyung calling you both until he got close, hand landing on your shoulder and effectively snapping you out of your trance.

“Are you guys okay? Not too long ago you were at each other's throat and now—woah!”

A shrill of pleasure shocks your body, vision flashing white and you fall. If it wasn't for Jungkook, you would've collapsed boneless next to Taehyung who's gasping on the floor, hand clutching his heart as he heaved. Jungkook let you lean your body weight on him once you stood up again. Arms wrapping around your waist protectively as your brain catches up.

A sharp gasp from Jungkook kick starts your already racing heart, panic flushing out whatever has happened earlier.

But that wasn't the thing that made your head pulse.

It was the shaky utterance of your name and looking up at Jungkook only to be distracted by the faint glow of blue in the shape of a hand on your shoulder. The spot where Taehyung had last touched you.

In the dimness of the hallway, it gleamed a soft shade of purple like a splatter of glow in the dark paint. Your head snapped back to Taehyung who had pushed himself to sit up, cradling his head while murmuring intelligible under his breath until he looked up and his jaw fell .

“I-Is that…?”

“Hyung, what is the meaning of this?”

Taehyung turned to the maknae, spluttering. “I-I don't even… Ho-how is this even possible?”

How is it possible to feel like the world has pulled a carpet from under you while also feeling like you're laying on cloud 9?

Three soulmates.

Two of them being people you once rejected, one of them unknown but the string suspiciously led downstairs where the rest of the boys are.

You feel like passing out just to avoid the talk it'll entail. Maybe you should run at the wall and hope you'll hit your head hard enough to guarantee amnesia.

“Noona, you're seeing this too right?” 

Taehyung is now standing in front of you, bewilderment still dancing in his eyes as he traced the already fading handprint and a small line of purple followed. He grinned and it's probably the happiest one you've ever seen him wear, eyes misty and overflowing with joy as he giggled, the sound almost reminiscent of an excited child.

Jungkook’s arm tightened around you.

“Wh-why do you have paint on noona’s shoulder? Hyung?��� Jungkook’s voice shakes from the weight of the revelation hanging above his head. “Are we sharing noona?”

“GUYS! YOONGI HYUNG GOT A SOULMATE!”

Holy shit.

Unlike you who's despairing to see the man on the other side of the thread, Taehyung was beyond ecstatic.

“No fucking way. I gotta see this.”

Taehyung dragged you to the stairs when your legs refused to move, uprooting you from where you leaned onto Jungkook's side. Your stomach churned at how lighter the strings felt in your pinkie and a tad tighter as the distance shortened.

There's a sudden heartbeat racing in your ears but it sounds far away and it doesn't sync with the pulse you feel in your temples. You couldn't dwell on it for long before you're faced with the man at the other end of the line.

They said it all started with their eldest but unbeknownst to them, he was the first to notice how your eyes would light up as if it held the entire galaxy, how you’d laugh and he thought it sounded like the sweetest jingles of wedding bells to his ears. 

Seokjin might be their eldest but he was the beginning of it all.

In his twenty five years of existence on this damned planet, Min Yoongi has never asked for much, content with whatever life throws at him.

Even with his harsh upbringing, he never kept what he has from others, especially since he met his brothers. He'd willingly ripped off the cloth from his back to keep them warm and plugged their ears with both his hands so they couldn’t hear the hateful words thrown at them at debut, even if it cost of being exposed to them instead. But he couldn't care less, Yoongi loves them with all his heart.

There's nothing in the world that could ever stop him from bending over backwards just so the others could live peacefully.

When his pockets grew heavier with age, this trait only bloomed further into millions donated anonymously to hospitals and charities he could stumble upon. 

To everyone, especially his brothers, he’s a generous man.

Until you strode into his life and haunted him in his waking days with the ghost of your touch caressing his face.

Min Yoongi never wants yet he yearned, he craved to feel the softness of your skin under his fingertips, to taste your lips and discover if you tasted as sweet as you smell, to run his hand through your hair as to know if it's as soft as it looked under the soft glow of the room. 

And for once in his life, he wanted to be selfish.

Being with you makes him want to believe, want to hope that something nonsensical as the concept of soulmates is true.

Min Yoongi wasn’t a believer of such optimism because his mother wasn’t. She passed down her resentment for the fates for turning a blind eye on her onto her next of kin. She was bitter from being untethered and barred her children from subjecting themselves to whimsical thoughts of fates and destinies. But now that you’ve come and bursted through the iron doors of his heart, he started to wonder if the divine had purposely tripped you in front of the BigHit building to be discovered by their oldest make-up noona and lead you to them.

He knew they did, could feel it within him. 

There was something different about you on the first day you've both met, something that he couldn't find in others and his mind answered almost immediately.

Soulmate.

You who shined even without the help of others, who stood out like the beacon of light in the shady pits of this world, he couldn’t dare face you as someone whose future is as dim as the blasted world he cursed out. With nothing to offer, he strived to be the best, to crawl to the top whatever it takes.

He couldn't show you a pathetic side of him, couldn't step forward with a bleak future to offer. Yoongi wouldn't be able to bear it if you were to grow miserable beside him.

Because for you, he'd stop at nothing to hand everything you'd ever lay your eyes on wrapped in a pretty bow of the most expensive quality and tucked neatly behind soft colored gift wrappers.

For years, Min Yoongi hid.

What else could he do when most of his brothers also vied for your attention? He loved you all with all his heart, couldn't bear the thought of ever hurting any of you for his selfish desires. So he did what he thought was best, step back and watch from the sidelines.

And he was fine with that.

He thinks himself a patient man. A trait forged by years of encountering nagging customers and demanding adults from working as a delivery boy. Yet all it took was a couple dozen bottles of Soju and a warm atmosphere to accidentally confess his feelings for you. Ashamed and already knowing what his hyung has received as an answer, he puts on a mask the next day and acts.

He did it so well you were convinced he wasn't kidding by forgetting last night's mistakes and swallowing up the disappointment when you didn’t bother asking him again and acted like nothing ever happened.

But it's okay, Min Yoongi is a patient man, he can wait.

So when you appeared before him, a red string tied prettily around your pinkie with the thread leading back to his own, he was beyond euphoric .

He felt like he could climb the highest summit bare in record speed with no equipment and only the warmth of the new bond.

The moment you all appeared in the living room with your shoulder and linked hands glowing purple, all hell broke loose. You didn't even get to look at Yoongi’s reaction when everyone was exploding around you, running to look at the evidence of your connection to Taehyung up close.

“Holy shit!”

“What the fuck?!”

“You guys are connected?!”

“What the fuck is happening right now?!”

Taehyung, despite being the second guy discovering himself as your soulmate, kept a smug smile hovered protectively behind you, hands planted on your shoulders and pushing his hyungs a few steps away to keep them from overwhelming you.

Everyone surrounding you had varying reactions even then, Namjoon kept his distance but hovered over behind his brothers with his eyebrows furrowed, staring with his calculating gaze and the heartbeat echoing at the back of your head grow rampant. 

You didn’t dare look at Seokjin, whose gaze weighed heavily with hurt and disappointment, penetrated through your skin, especially when you heard him run upstairs, and the door of his room slams shut.

He who had confessed first, had continued to love you even when you had thought he had moved on, somehow didn’t make the cut. Another cruel joke the fates have played.

It was Jimin who snapped you out of the trance when he grazed the side of your neck and flinched back when swirls of gold erupted from the spot he ghosted over before both your knees buckled. The gleaming gold ink spinning a pretty vine-like twirl before sinking back into your skin.

If the room was loud earlier, it has erupted into a mass hysteria now.

Because four out of your seven bosses turn out to be tethered to you. Three who you had rejected before and one who has never shown any romantic interest in you.

How funny was it for the universe to link you to the same men you've rejected for the fear of ruining the amazing brotherhood they've built from years of hard work and tears?

The sensation of two cascading waves of calmness from the bonds trying to soothe the ever growing dread clashed against each other made your stomach churn. Your headache has evolved into a pulsing one before you felt a tug on the string. From the revelation to the onslaught of feelings attacking and fighting off your initial panic, your body struggled to keep up with its conflicting emotions.

You wanted to run, to hide from their gaze, to put an end to the conflicted mess of emotions being forced into you and surfacing along with your thoughts.

Jimin has refrained from touching you since earlier, his beautiful face now contorted into concern, his soft eyes seeing past the fog in yours while the world continues around you. He stares at you as if trying to decipher something, as if he could somehow feel how overwhelmed you are.

He opened his mouth to say something, his hands already reaching to pull Taehyung and Jungkook away from you when a voice broke through the chatter.

“You're crowding her too much!”

Namjoon’s hands were steadying when he held your shoulders, like water in a desert, like the light at the end of a dark tunnel. With their leader stepping in, all words fell into a hush and for the first time since the chaos, it was silent; save for the slowing rhythms of two heartbeats thudding in your head.

If Taehyung and Jungkook's touch felt like a jolt of energy and Jimin was rejuvenating and healing, Namjoon had the ability to kill the noise in your mind with eye contact alone.

Peering deeper into his gaze, your breath stutters because the knowing glint within them has confirmed another thought of yours. Shared heartbeats . Suddenly the other beat in your head sounded clearer, more present along with your thoughts.

A fifth soulmate.

What the fuck.

“Hyung, are you sober enough to drive?”

Hoseok turns to him, face turning serious as he glances at you once more before nodding. 

“I’ll get her home, I didn't drink much anyways.”

It felt burdensome to leave such a life-altering problem for them to handle while you cower in their spare bedroom, trying to hide from the reality that you might be linked to all seven of them. 

The reassuring squeeze on your shoulders brought you back from the guilty trans you’ve submerged into and was faced with Namjoon's kind eyes and smile.

“Go home noona, we'll handle it from here.”

“You sure?”

He nods. “I know this is overwhelming so I want you to go rest and let me do the planning and talking, alright?”

When you didn’t respond, Namjoon wrapped his arms around you. There’s hesitance in how his movement stuttered, could hear him ponder as he pulled you flush to his chest, afraid of affecting you like the maknaes had but when his touch didn’t evoke the staggering flood of euphoria, he grew more sure of his movements.

With a kiss on your head, he unwraps himself from you and gently guides you back to Hoseok who’s now standing outside the open door of their dorm. His eyes were glued onto you, following your form as you near him but somehow, it felt like he was staring past through you and into the void.

Walking to the car was a silent affair and you don’t know if you rather have Hoseok being quiet or not.

It was bearable when he turned on the radio and a song that has no connection to the boys plays, not that it ever stopped the thoughts constantly spawning from the crevices of your mind.

When you had asked the fates for a soulmate, had you sounded so desperate that they'd given you five?

You’ve heard of three souls connected, hell, Yeonjun is a part of a five-way soulmate link; Interlinked, is what they’re called. Everyone in the group has their own unique mark with each member which usually led to constant overstimulation in the beginning, which made the company put them on medications until their bond settles a year later.

Even today, there are times where they still get affected by their bonds, although not as often as it used to. It was a wonder how there haven't been investigations put on BigHit with how often the five had to be sent to the hospital for soulbond hyperactivity at least once a week for a whole year.

But a nexus between six people, five connected to one. That is unheard of, the rarest even.

Five soulmates yet none of those were Seokjin. Someone who had stuck with you since the first day, the first to confess, and the one who remained loyal, wasn’t tethered to you.

“Hoba?’

“Yes, noona?” 

He sounded guarded, his face ironed into a neutral, more serious expression as he slowed as the traffic light went red.

“What’s gonna happen now?”

He bit his lower lip as he pondered, thumbs tapping incessantly on the wheel before he spoke.

“We're gonna have to update your statuses in the DFR, but I doubt the company will make it public just yet. There's nothing also in our contract that prohibits us from pursuing a relationship with our soulmates if we ever come across them so you're good on that front.”

You notice how he excluded himself from the Nexus bond and you feel a pinch on your heart at how formal he has become, as if he’s already put up a wall between you both.

“We'll probably have a long talk about it once I get back but I doubt they'd wait that long for me. You’re probably wouldn't be allowed to touch Jimin and Taehyung anymore when you're working because your soulmarks are very obvious and I know you don't want—”

“Y-You don't think you're also…”

Silence followed as he adjusted himself in his seat as the car began to move again, his hands drumming on the wheel halts as the facade he's wearing shattered for a moment and his eyes grew foggy, clouded by a deep shade of blue.

Under the passing warm lights of the streetlights overhead, Hoseok has never looked more devastated to you than he does now.

You had never noticed it, he has always been open with his affections to his friends so you never thought of it as anything but his usual touchiness. He shows his care for you in the same way he does with his brothers, so paid it no need and brushed it off.

How could Soobin notice it? What had he seen that you missed?

“If I was, I would've felt something different but here we are.” He forces out a laugh before glancing at you and offering a hand. You notice how his smile doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. “We're still the bestest of friends even without the mark, right?”

Hesitantly, you took it.

The moment your fingers wrapped around his Hoseok immediately takes his hand back in favor of holding the brake between you both.

You try to not let his aversion to touch affect you. It was understandable why he isn’t touching you as he always had. New soulbonds are fickle, there’s been multiple reports where people are rushed into ER after brushing their hands against strangers and had been in excruciating pain from soulbond strain.

Their new bodies had thought they were denying destiny and had punished them. It was ridiculous.

But for him to completely retreat to himself, visibly putting up a tall wall between you both is a different kind of pain. For Hoseok, someone who has never had to restrain himself from holding your hands or hugging you whenever he's excited, to step back hurts you more than you thought it would.

“Noona, we’re here.”

As you left the car, you pondered on what to say to him. What could you even tell him?

Do you even say you're sorry he's not one of your soulmates or would that sound mocking?

Should you say that you had wished once that he becomes tethered to you or would that be rubbing salt on the wound?

But before you could even turn around and say your goodbyes, the moment the door was closed, Hoseok drove off. 

Waking up was dreadful.

It felt more exhausting and daring than it had yesterday when you were going to your third date with Guwon. Sleeping was difficult, you could feel Yoongi touch the string from miles away, eyes flying open whenever you felt the thread become tangible and gently glow in the darkness of your room.

It wasn't his soul-link alone that disturbed you, Namjoon’s heartbeat constantly changed rhythm although it was faint enough to blend into the background with the rumble of the air conditioner. From the nervous gallops to the calmer but deeper thuds whenever he seems to drown himself in his own thoughts.

You had research about your soul links when you grew restless in your bed, obsessed over the fact there's little to no information on your and Jimin's mark, trying to ignore the concerned messages from your mother and sister. They were asking about Guwon and why you decided to end things. You know that you should explain, you at least owe your mother the reason why you had decided to stop seeing the lawyer but you couldn't.

After weeks of her constant questioning and spamming links of wedding organizers and dressmakers, you couldn't find the courage to face your mother.

Not that it matters anymore though, not after last night.

Would you send her to an early grave once you tell her the news? How do you even break the news to your parents? Hi mom, I'm sorry I've been ignoring you yesterday. Yes, I stopped seeing Guwon but hey, I found you five new son-in-laws and they happen to be the members of the world's biggest boyband so don't be mad yeah?

She might just make true to her threat of hanging you upside down on a sack on your porch back in the province.

The same thought had led you to realizing how close you were to being engaged with Guwon in Jeju only to find out the next day who your soulmates were. 

When you trudged to the bathroom, exhaustion clung and weighed your bones but you excused it to your shitty sleep.

Not once has any of the boys reached out to you the whole night, the silence from Seokjin carving a hollowness in your chest. You know that they're busy handling the grunt and paperworks due today but to have not a single text in the groupchat made dread crawl up within you.

So when the door rang a quarter to nine, you jumped.

The door opens and Namjoon steps into your living room with Seokjin following closely behind him, expression guarded and eyes averted while the former approaches you. Both their eyes are swollen, no doubt from a sleepless night except Seokjin's looks far puffier than the other.

“Hi noona,” Namjoon began, voice soft as ever as he approached you to wrap his arms around you and you let him. “Hyung’s here with me to drive you to the DFR, the others went first since we decided that it's better if you're not lumped up with all your soulmates in one small space so it's just us three today.”

“Have you eaten?” Seokjin says, unmoving from where he stands a step away from the door, guarded and stiff, as if trying to meld himself into the wood.

His voice is hoarse and he looked more worn than you've ever seen him yet he managed to sound soft and put on the smallest of smiles. Your heart twinges.

“I haven't, you guys didn't tell me when we were going to have the bond registered.”

Namjoon sheepishly scratches the back of his head. “Sorry about that. We got busy discussing how we'll be moving forward, the company has already cleared out the office and as Hobi-hyung might've told you, they're doing everything they can to keep this under wraps for now.”

“There’s unfortunately no time for take-outs due to the time crunch, I doubt you guys will be out by twelve but I think we can all go for a good, filling lunch.”

“Jinnie, are you okay?”

The words slipped out of your lips before you could realize it had. His eyes widened for a fracture, taken aback before a sad smile stretched his lips.

“I will be, don't worry.”

Namjoon claps his hands abruptly, cutting through the air as he forces out a grin. “Alright, let's be on our way.”

“What about the family dinners?” You pushed on.

“We'll tell them the truth. I can't exactly bring you to family dinners as my fake girlfriend anymore now, can I?”

What started as Jin needing your help in stopping vulture-like aunties trying to introduce their daughters to him, grew far more serious when Mrs. Kim began to invite you annually to their family reunion dinners and had begun sending you the occasional gift boxes from her trips abroad. You tried giving them to Jin when the first box came but he insisted you keep them anyway. It made you feel guilty for tricking his family, especially his mother, but Jin needed your help in warding off the bad energy .

“We told hyung that once the bond gets stable next year, you can continue attending them.” Namjoon adds.

“Obviously I denied, what a stupid idea.” Seokjin immediately responds with a scoff and Namjoon rolls his eyes. “Why are you even paired with them when they disregard your safety like this? Really, why would you guys even suggest that?”

Namjoon turns to him with a look that seems to ask ‘do you really want me to answer that?’ and Seokjin pursed his lips in a straight line. You laughed.

It was a relief to see that nothing has changed within their dynamics. You had feared the day everyone would turn against each other because of you. It had made you wary of how much time you spend with a member one on one, scared the others would think of it as picking favorites. 

To see Seokjin, the one you have no doubt been more devastated than Hoseok, be making light hearted jokes about the soulmarks lifted off a huge weight from your shoulders.

“I hope auntie won't take it to heart. You were a nice boyfriend but you kept nagging me to pay a nonsense debt.”

“You still have a balance to settle with me, don't forget that,” He jokes. “But seriously, mom would be sad, she likes you better than me.”

Namjoon's phone pings, the sound silencing you both. With a hissed apology, he turned his attention to the device and read the notification on his lock screen before turning to you.

“We need to get going soon. Hobi hyung said Yoongi hyung and Jimin just got called up.”

“Wait, I haven't showered yet! You guys didn't even warn me!”

But as you move to run back to your room, Namjoon stops you with a hand on your shoulder.

“It's fine, noona.”

“It's not like we haven't seen you with unwashed hair for two days straight.”

“Hey that was one time!” You exclaimed, indignant.

“What was the longest day, hyung?” Namjoon clicks his fingers, a small teasing grin tugging his lips.

“Three days I think?”

“I thought it was a week?”

“So that's why she looked so greasy.” 

Their laughter when you slapped both their arms twinkled in your ears. The sound warming your chest but also grating your gears at the same time. 

Fresher than you had been earlier, you all arrive at the DFA an hour later. Spending thirty preparing, another half traveling to the heart of Seoul.

There's already a few bodyguards dressed in civilian wear lingering outside the office. Mr. Lee approached the car once the three of you began to step out before ushering all of you inside the building with a few other guards.

Save for the receptionists on the other side of the counter placed in the dead middle of the room, the lobby was empty. Sejin comes out from the wide open arch on the right, a man dressed in neatly ironed and a tailored black suit following behind him. 

“Let's all move to where the rest are. We couldn't rent the building for the whole day so they’ll be opening to the general public soon but we were allowed to have one floor to ourselves.”

None of you objects and followed him to the elevator and to the second floor where you were immediately greeted by Taehyung, Hoseok and Jungkook sitting on the blue plastic seats clustered by both sides of the walls.

When the metal doors parts open, their heads turn and immediately, Taehyung stands and runs up to you with arms wide.

Namjoon and Seokjin weren't able to react fast enough. The moment Taehyung wrapped himself around you, a powerful wave of bliss crashed over you and your legs gave out. They all screamed your name as you fell but they were muffled, hands grabbed onto whatever they could in the haste of catching you.

In the bleariness of your vision, you could make out Taehyung narrowly avoiding crumpling onto the floor when someone caught him by the waist.

“...That was so stupid of you…”

“...Why…Taehyung?...”

“Noona?”

The haze clears and you find yourself being carried by Seokjin into the nearest doctor’s office. You hear the door open before Yoongi’s exasperated but concerned voice follows.

“What the hell happened now?”

“Taehyung forgot they're soulmates and hugged her.”

“Fuckin—Just get her inside.”

“Noona, I’m so sorry!”

Seokjin lets you down on a soft cushioned armchair and you find yourself staring back at a bespectacled woman with hair so straight you wonder how Yoongi didn't feel exorcized at the sight of it.

She didn't waste any time and she rose from her seat to inject something in your arm. 

“What a wild introduction this is. First you come in with five soulmates, a Nexus group and one of them having Healing Touch, and as if that's not intriguing enough, you faint after a touch from Love Prints! So, very interesting!”

She returns to her seat as the haze ebbs away from your vision with the glowing purple paint on your torso.

“I guess it's true that all soul specialists are… enthusiastic .”

“Only on the right things, don't worry we don't bite.”

There's almost a manic look in her eyes as she stares at you with a fascination only seen in a mad geologist who had found a new and infinitely curious piece of history in the dirt. Seokjin pats your shoulders, squeezing it assuringly for the last time before he disappears out the door.

“So, how's this gonna go?”

Doctor Gwak Jihye was a woman with flat light brown hair almost the same height as you. There's narrow rectangle glasses sitting neatly on the bridge of her nose and a notable beauty mark placed on the apple of her right cheekbones. Black vine-like tattoos peaked out of her cream turtleneck, a soulmark you guessed once you saw the ring on her finger.

The band is as dark as the night yet gleaned like stars under the bright light of the room with three deep blue sapphires engraved on the front. A ring made from soul metal created and only used by the tethered. 

She wore the standard white coat of every doctor you’ve ever met with the exception of the detailed pin of two white strings knotted together inside a heart and a red cross placed in the middle of it all.

“We'll do the basic health checks, the measurements and all the like, nothing too difficult. Then we educate you on every soulmark you have. You are aware of what you have with the five of them, correct?”

She rapid fires and you're left agape, mouth closing and open as your brain catches up. The doctor raised an eyebrow and you nod. With that, she motions to the scales behind you as she stands. You followed the woman to the stadiometer placed next to the door. 

Once she was done taking your measurements down, you both returned to her desk where she asked you a few questions about your allergies and recent medical history. It was an easy procedure, almost boring. The ever so present exhaustion is still weighing your bones, you yawned. Staying awake felt like a challenge and you don't doubt she had noticed this when she placed down her board to open her drawer.

“You are feeling more exhausted than before, am I correct in assuming this?”

“Yes…?”

She hummed when she found what she was looking for and placed the thick white medicine bottle in front of you.

“This should help your body get used to the bonds whenever you touch Jimin or Taehyung. The exhaustion is normal since you live far from them but once you move in and are surrounded by your soulmates, you should feel more energized.”

Amoneuron , it reads on the label. Curious, you twist the lid open to see what might just be a hundred of blush pink colored round pills.

“With that out of the way, from what I've heard from Yoongi, you've researched every soulmark there is at one point in your life but I doubt that you don't have any questions,” She fished out the yellow folder under her board and opened it, not knowing how surprised you are to hear Yoongi’s involvement. “Anything you'd like to know about?”

Your mind takes you back to the empty search and countless ‘Did you mean…?’ questions on every result. Jimin and your marks never yielded any results, none in Naver and none in Google. 

You tried finding it in your books but none of them were ever close to the touch activated golden swirls and the feeling of being rejuvenated.

“I tried researching what could be Jimin and I’s soulmark but I couldn't find one, is it that rare of a mark?”

She nods. “ Healing touch , there's so little information of that type of mark since the last recorded case can be traced back to 1934.”

Your eyes widen, surprised by how rare of a mark you share with Jimin.

“Which meant if there were soul-link related sickness between you, I fear that we won't be much of help as we don't know much about Healing Touch other than mates who has it doesn't get hungry, thirsty nor need much sleep if they interacted enough,” She gauges your reaction, when she saw your confusion she continues. “By interacting enough, I don't mean hugs or hand holding, I mean kisses and sex.”

You began to cough violently, choking on your saliva at her bluntness, cheeks burning bright but she ignored you and continued.

“Hand holding and hugs can only guarantee better stamina and endurance, even being close enough can make the other have a bottomless energy. As this concerns a highly valued individual, our team is already attempting to acquire more information about Healing Touch but I don’t have an estimated time on when we’ll be ready to share our findings, please understand that we are also surprised by this mark’s sudden revival.” She smiled. “Anything else you'd like to ask?”

“Are Taehyung and Jimin's marks somehow similar? I remember feeling… rejuvenated whenever the both of them touched me but then got overstimulated.”

Her eyebrows rose.

“No, Taehyung’s touch shouldn’t affect you outside of the first touch nor should you be suffering from soulbond hyperactivity from both of them. When Seokjin had carried you in, what exactly happened beforehand?”

“When Taehyung hugged me again not too long ago, we experienced soulbond hyperactivity.”

“Huh.” Was all she replied with, hand scribbling furiously on her notes. You had the urge to sit up a little straight and take a peak at what she’s writing down so passionately but decided against it, fearing what you might learn from it.

“Any guesses on what could have caused this?”

“It's hard to say much for now since Healing Touch is a very rare mark. But I can hazard a guess and say that due to their similar nature being touch-activated marks and Healing Touch being as powerful as it is, it had influenced Love Print somehow.” 

If her words were anything to go by, If Jimin and your soulmark does greatly affect both your livelihoods by practically rendering you both immortals by eliminating the need for food, sleep, and water as long as the needed affection level is met; not to mention, as long as the both of you are close enough, exhaustion is nothing but a word.

And if Taehyung’s soulmark has evolved due to Healing Touch, then wouldn’t the benefits, at least the bare bones of them, extend to him as well?

You already sense the building headache you’re about to experience in the future with three—including Jungkook whose energy is already a thousand times more of a kid in a toy store—bouncy men with the energy of a toddler in a sugar rush. In advance, you began to pray internally for Namjoon, Sejin, and Seokjin’s sanity.

“It seems that I am due to share notes with the doctor who had interviewed Jimin,” She says as she slams close the cover of her journal with a smile. “This could lead to a breakthrough in the future, with both of your permissions, we would like to study your soulmark more intimately.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to it but my soulmate might not share the sentiment. The company as well.”

“Your soulmarks could very well lead up to the discovery of the cure to an incurable disease, I doubt he would decline such a possibility.”

You don’t doubt the possibility of your soulmark being the answer to the long time issue of something as fatal as cancer or dementia but the prospect of being examined, had made you feel uncomfortable. To be under intense scrutiny and possibly put under a specific diet to tailor to their needs—especially when Jimin had only recently stopped caring about his body image—had made you more unwilling to participate.

You’d spare a few vials of blood since your bond can regenerate it back in record time but a prolonged trial is definitely a no.

“Why did it manifest now? After all those years, why now?” You ask abruptly, trying to change the subject. You hoped she would take the bait and luckily, she did with a defeated sigh.

The answer to your question is already solved, it was simple.

“As you know, once we hit the age of 16, the chances of meeting our soulmates goes up to 10% and will gain the same amount the next year will continue on till it hits a hundred on the 26th and the chances of manifesting a mark stops on the 27th,” You nod, feigning ignorance and she continues. “The Nexus connection had to wait for Jungkook to show which had put yours and the rest to a state of dormancy. So when he turned 21, with half a hundred chance, he finally got a mark and here we are.”

You stand and bow, not wanting to leave any free millisecond where she could try continuing to pressure you into agreeing into their research.

“Thank you so much for your insight, Dr. Gwak.”

She looked incredulous and surprised by your sudden actions before returning the gesture.

“It’s a pleasure to be able to foresee a unique connection such as yours, Ms. Y/n. I hope you all the best.”

With that, you leave the room in a haste and let out the biggest exhale once the door behind you closes.

You hear the soft murmurs of voice just around the corner where you guessed you’ll find everyone save for Namjoon who must’ve been called after you had been carried in by Seokjin. But when one door closes, another opens. There’s still a few things you’re due today, a talk with the inner circle of the company, talking with the legal team to figure out who else can know the connection outside of your Nexus, and how you’ll be continuing working as their make-up artist.

There’s a tug down the thread and you look down at your pinkie to see the line turn tangible and vibrant before a wave of concern floods your system.

Tentatively, you twirled the string around your finger and the headache fades. You watch as it glows brighter, livelier with both hosts touching it before tugging it back twice. Instantly, Yoongi responds with another. You expected the string to dim, for him to let go but it remained vibrant under both of your touch.

The dull ache at the back of your head returns.

“Are you the lady with the Healing Touch soulmark?”

You jumped back to see an old woman, around the age of sixty, peering up at you with a gentle smile playing on her lips. She dons the same white coat Dr. Gwak wears the same pin of a soul specialist on the lapel and her name tag displayed on her breast pocket.

Shin Sun-young , it reads.

“In my years of being a specialist, I've never seen so many souls connected to one so I'm sorry if I'm a bit much, I'm very curious how it must feel. Having one is already overwhelming for me, I can’t imagine how you’re feeling now.”

“Yeah it's a bit much sometimes… I had three of them touch me all at the same time and I almost fainted. I don't know how I can deal with it.”

“We have some medicines for that but I’m sure you already know that and have been prescribed right. It’ll dull up your senses till the first year then you can stop taking it.”

She pats your back as you both walk off the sides and you find your soulmates sitting obediently down the hall. Jimin was lying on one cluster of seats in front of the others with an arm over his eyes and the other pinched into a fist on top of his stomach while the rest of the boys squeezed together into the five seats on the opposite wall. 

You notice the missing presence of their eldest but shrugged it off, guessing that he must've wandered off to find the bathroom or a vending machine.

“I hope it goes well for you seven, I'm sure they'll treat you so well.”

Your head snaps to her. “Seven?”

“Oh? Am I wrong? I thought all of those boys are tethered to you. Forgive this old soul.”

A suspicious voice told you that she had intentionally guessed wrong to fish for information but you tampered it down, giving the curious woman the benefit of a doubt. Soul specialists have the reputation of being knowledge-driven crazy people with barely any other qualifying trait other than their unusual obsession with soulmates after all and this lady might just be one of the people that fits the bill.

“Hoseok and Jin, their eldest who has gone somewhere, aren't tethered to me. There's no sign of any marks manifesting and we just assumed the worst.”

You hated how you sounded so dejected. You must’ve sounded so greedy to the lady for wanting to have your seven friends to be yours, as if you even deserve Seokjin’s unfaltering love.

She hums. “Are you sure about that?”

“What do you mean?” You ask with an eyebrow raised.

“Dear, everything in the world is advanced now. They could have their blood tested to see if there's a possibility that they're also tethered to you.”

You were reminded of the times where you began to dread your birthdays when you should've been celebrating, the desperation before the abrupt descend of defeat on your birthday this year when you finally realize that you weren't 

“How is that possible? Why now? We've had years of technological evolution but something like that only appears now? Where was this when I wanted to find out if I was—”

She sighs and puts a hand on your shoulder, effectively shutting you up. “Soulmates are spiritual deary, past technology and brains of yesterdays had difficulty in figuring out the hows and why it works. But now, I can assure you that we have finally found a way to find if you're really untethered or not.”

“Tha-that’s a thing?”

You turned around to find Seokjin on the opposite hall, carrying what seems to be a hundred snacks with two hands, surprise contorting his face. Crossing the distance in under two steps, he stared at the lady with hopeful eyes.

“Where can I have myself checked?”

The way his voice dripped with hope, with desperation of a man who had lost his way and finally found a chance of redemption, a new salvation to pour his attention to. Hearing it made your chest clench. But there was no testimony for their new found tech, there's no telling if they're actually telling the truth.

As much as you are curious as to what the result could be, you couldn't have Seokjin join the test all hopeful only to fall into a deeper hole if he found out that he's actually untethered.

Your heart won't be able to handle the absolute devastation that would follow.

“Jinnie—”

“You boys are in luck, we just had the machine set up last night and we’re looking for—”

“I’ll do it. Me and someone else.” 

As they began to talk about the technicalities of using the machine and partaking in their research, you found yourself standing there in shock. 

You already suspected Hoseok also shared the same sentiment Jin held but to hear him indirectly confirm them had your heart bottoming to the soles of your feet. The guilt that used to only stem from Jin and Taehyung's confession came back to you like a blow to the head.

Jin then briskly walked away, you followed to see him approach an increasingly concerned Hoseok who watched his hyung march up to him with an indistinguishable fire in his eyes.

“Hoba, I found a way.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Found a way… to what exactly?”

“They have the technology to figure out if we're actually untethered or not.”

Everyone's eyes widened. Jimin had woken up from his nap and turned his head to his hyungs, shocked by what he had heard. Taehyung's jaw hung open, looking around in bewilderment before he stood to walk around the rest of the boys and into the stunned Hoseok on the other side of the seats to engulf him in a hug.

Even Manager Sejin who has been talking to the lawyer he brought with him had turned to listen to the conversation.

“H-Hyung—”

“I've already talked to the doctor who will be overseeing our examination and all they ask of us is our blood then the resul—”

“No.”

Seokjin’s shine dims with the atmosphere as his smile falls. Taehyung pulls away, more astounded than he was before as he stares at him in disbelief.

“Hyung?”

“Wh-what do you mean?” Seokjin stammers out in disbelief.

“What if it came out as negative still? Hyung, I've already accepted my status. I-I don't want to raise my hopes up only to come down to the same result.”

“It doesn't hurt to try Hoba,” Seokjin said softer this time as he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Try with me, please . If it's negative at least we can lament together.”

Hoseok agreed not too long after, unable to say no to his hyung, not when he's begging and pleading. Seokjin led him back to the soul specialist to have their blood taken. You had waited for them next to Yoongi on the seat Hoseok had occupied earlier. It's only 10am at that point yet your energy tank is drier than the sahara and non-existent as a stress-free day for you. When the two returned, you were slumped down on Yoongi's shoulder half asleep.

The exhausting day didn't end there.

After your soulmarks were registered, you all went to BigHit for a meeting and you thanked the high heavens no one from your department had seen you enter the conference room with the boys and a lawyer.

Minhyuk had asked you why there'll be a company party at dinner but no birthday boy will be showing up. You lied and told him that Jungkook’s going back to Busan to celebrate his birthday with his family. Jihye had also questioned your absence and you had apologized to her, knowing how often you've been going for leaves these past few weeks.

She says it's fine but you still feel bad anyways.

The meeting was short yet it felt like centuries has passed until you were freed. Just a couple of rules being laid like you being unable to handle Jimin and Taehyung anymore, the living situation where you'd be moved to the Bangtan dorms, and who else would know about the connections between you and the boys—they had approved letting your three friends know once you reasoned that they'll be able to save you once people began to question your aversion to touching Jimin and Taehyung in the future.

By the time you had trudge into your room, you were beyond the word exhaustion. Brain far too fogged up you to pick up on the blaring red lights in your mind as the world swirled around you and you fell face first into your bed.

You chalked it up to your sleepless night and the emotional stress you've gone through these past few days so imagine your shock when you wake up and find yourself in a sterile and white room whose ceiling lights burned your eyes the moment they opened again.

It was so bright and so white, you remember passing out before you came here and all you could feel now was bliss, as if the heavy baggage you've collected from last week and last night had been lifted off your form.

As if you were in heaven .

“G-God?”

“No, it's Min Yoongi. Open your eyes, brat.”

The haze clears at his gruff voice and you began to hear the stable beeping echoing in the hollow room. There's a heavy weight wounded loosely around your waist as well on your legs, turning your head, you were faced with the peaceful but almost colorless face of Jimin, his usually plush pink lips now pale and chaffed as his body trembled next to you; you were shaking too.

Turning to Yoongi to ask him what happened, you find your hand entangled with his. His impassive face now laced with concern and there were dark bags hanging under his eyes as if he hadn't been sleeping for a while.

“What the fuck happened?”

TAGLIST: @wildestdreamsblog @canarystwin @prettywheenicry @jmnscutie @sassy-snassy @misuguru @11thenightwemet11 @yoongibaybee @rinkud @bri602 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @marvel-potter-1d-korea @comingupwithacoolnameishard @sooha-neul @juju-227592 @coffeewanderer

[localcatmutt]

OTHERHEARTED

What does it mean to be otherhearted?

Otherhearted is a term primarily used in the therian/otherkin community that means “to identify WITH a non-human animal/creature/being.” You may have a deeply rooted connection/relation to it, and experience shifts or traits similar to the species, BUT not identify AS it. For example, I experience many bear traits and shifts, I feel a deep connection to these animals and identify WITH them, rather than identifying AS them. The “as” or “with” are very important to distinguish a theriotype/kintype from an otherhearted “identity”.

Another common term that holds the same meaning is kithtype. The etymology of the word “kith” originally means familiarity (not family), or something/someone you are connected/close to. Then the word “type” refers to what kind of identity it is (which is kith in this case). 

To simplify the difference between kintypes and kithtypes; kin (to identify as/to be) and kith (to identify with/to be like).

Importance of Otherhearted

In the community people tend to showcase their theriotypes over kithtypes. They are held at a higher standard, and they are viewed as more important when it comes to our identity as a whole. But that couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, being a therian and being otherhearted can share most of the same experiences. You can indeed have shifts from kithtypes, mental and phantom. Being otherhearted can impact your life just as much, and you can wear all the same gear as a therian. Both are a part of your identity. Kithtypes can be just as prominent as kintypes.

The questioning process can be all the same as well. 

Belonging in the Community

People who are otherhearted are just as valid as therians, and belong in our community all the same. We all identify as, with or simply connect to animals in different ways than people who aren't in our community. Our animal hearts, minds and souls are what connects us. Not the labels. Therians, otherkin, otherhearted, coping identities/coping links… they all belong.

As I have said before, these all share similar or same experiences. Any of us can wear gear, do quads, make posts, educate or share our identities. The sole differences are the origin of these identities, and whether you identify as or with the animal/creature/being (or if it's a voluntary identity like in the case of coping links, which I will eventually address in a separate post). 

Confusing the two

It’s easy to feel lost when we’re trying to figure out what we are, and where an identity stands. Is it a theriotype? Is it a kithtype? Is it a cameo? It can be quite the confusing process. Although I think that if people knew how important being otherhearted is, they might find it easier to understand if they're kith or kin. I mean, in the end the major difference is just… are you LIKE the animal? Or ARE you the animal? Shifts don't immediately mean theriotype, so I think that's where most of the confusion lies.

Quick definition of cameo for those who don’t know of them : Cameos are simply shifts that can suddenly come and go, that arent from a known kintype. They may make a brief appearance in your life. Think of the actual word “cameo” that is used for actors who make sudden appearances in movies, and may bring an element of surprise to viewers. 

I am otherhearted

I have six primary kithtypes. Each has different levels of relevance/importance to me, but are still very important to who I am as a whole. These kithtypes are; Canines (coyotes and jackals especially), Kermode Bears/Black Bears, Ravens, Snakes, Giant River Otters and Arthropods as a whole. It's a lot, but over the years, deeply rooted connections to these animals have planted themselves into my identity. I have shifts, behaviours and traits just like them!

Sometimes I even feel confused because of how prominent they can become. 

Well, that’s all for now! I thought it would be important to talk about otherhearted identities for a change. Its not shared enough and I think that spreading more information could help people figure out experiences more easily.

Hope you enjoyed!

Last note - If I made spelling errors or definition errors let me know. Everything is based on research, and what I've been learning throughout the years I've been in the community. I have been active here for more than 7 years, and have been on many different platforms including Instagram, Amino, Tumblr, Discord groups and a few Forums. So I don't only explore newer information, but also older ones. 

[nunalastor]

Lucifer's noticed a certain pest in the halls of the hotel. It's silent and immaterial; not the sort of critter that Nifty has any interest in hunting. Unbothersome to most, yet so very maddening to him.

It's distracting, impeding, and generally a nuisance.

And it follows Alastor everywhere.

He's long wondered what exactly it is; a familiar, an offshoot of Alastor's soul, a shade- But it doesn't really matter. The problem is that it keeps getting in the way.

Every time they're talking, every time they're remotely near each other, it's always there. Watching, pointing, nudging, and tearing Alastor's focus away. It whispers things that only its owner can hear, pulls laughs and reactions from him that Lucifer's only had minimal success in accomplishing himself. It knows him.

It's infuriating. To be so helplessly aware that some other being, so much closer to Alastor than he could ever be, shares so much history that Lucifer could only hope would one day be shared with him as well. It's a revolting feeling that makes him want to tear his hair out, it burns something inside him that screams to just get rid of it.

Lucifer wants it gone.

He can't take it. He can't stand the bile at the back of his throat when he sees them together. He can't handle the feeling of his muscles tightening in on themselves as he wonders why he isn't good enough to be in its place. He can't handle the burning hatred of this lesser than being that's managed to put itself in between what he so desperately wants.

He learned very quickly that it was rather communicative with Alastor. The first and only attempt to 'accidentally' blast it with holy light ended with a very, very angry Radio Demon.

Every other more discreet attempt has ended in failure. Deals and negotiations didn't work; it seemed to not understand him- or at least pretended not to. Even when he cycled through every ancient language in his knowledge, it would simply tilt its head in the same cute manner as Alastor.

A sickening reminder of what he was doing this for.

He tries and tries to distract it, keep it occupied, keep Alastor's attention on him-

And he finally realizes the obvious solution.

He doesn't know what language this thing speaks, or if it's even open to communication with him. But a smaller facet of him might be more amiable. And, more importantly, more able to interact with it.

Regardless of where this creature comes from, it takes the form of a shadow. As a being of light, he's perfectly capable of creating the absence of it. Imbuing just a small part of his consciousness into his own shadow is easy, and after that, it's free to roam without him.

When he first walks into the parlor with his new companion, Alastor seems... confused. And then irritated. Which is fine, because this is just a means to an end. Most importantly, Alastor's shadow is very intrigued. It doesn't take long for it to venture over and meet its soon-to-be friend, circling around cautiously before beginning to prod at it. His own shadow prods back, and it practically jumps.

Lucifer can feel the connection, though very distantly. Easily ignorable; and so he does, in favor of moving closer to Alastor, temporarily free of the shadowy nuisance getting in his way.

"What is that?" Alastor asks the moment he reaches him.

"Hm? Oh! I thought your friend could use a buddy. Doesn't seem like he has any good company to talk to."

Alastor simply sneers at that, though any follow up questions on Lucifer's intentions are easily brushed off or eluded. The pest's attention is successfully enraptured by its new playmate, and Lucifer finally gets a moment of peace, and Alastor's full, undivided attention.

👀

[whereserpentswalk]

You work with people from other dimensions for a living. While you can travel to other dimensions, it's much easier to just connect your computer to computers from other dimensions. You end up finding out about a lot of strange places, alternate earths where things are diffrent in ways you could never imagine. Most people don't even know other dimensions exist, but to you it all feels so normal, so very distant but so very normal.

Because the company that you work on interdimensional technology for needs to outsource some of its dimensional work you end up very quickly having to contact people from other dimensions with a similar skillset to you for one project. And since it's easy to contact them you end up talking to them afterwards.

There's this one girl you end up messaging a lot. She seems so nice and sweet. You talk a lot about programing, and mathematics and magic (which are all very closely connected fields), she's one of the only people who seems to really understand the beauty in it the way you do. She's obviously from a very diffrent culture, and you never sent eachother images, but you like eachother a lot.

You end up messaging this girl more and more. She's the first to comfort you when one of your freinds turned on you, she was the first to support you when you came out to your parents, even though she didn't fully know what coming out was. She messages you "I love you" in the mornings sometimes. And even though she's far away, further way than anything in the universe, you understand her so well. You've seen her art, drawings she's done of buildings and structures around where she lives, they're like nothing you've ever seen before.

You start to talk about being in a romantic relationship. It's hard but you decide it's what you should do, almost what you have to do. You want to be her girlfriend, you want to know how it feels to hug her, for her to rest her head on your breasts on a warm summer night, to be inside eachother, to touch in a way you don't get to touch. But you can still message eachother, it's just one small contact but it means so much. You want to move in with her, it might never happen but there's something inside of you that wants to wake up next to her every morning.

Eventually you decide to build a portal to eachother, so you can see eachother, and if all goes well, you'll actually move in. You both need to talk to a lot of people, and get help from a lot of programmers and spellcasters from several dimensions, but it's done. The money that was supposed to let you move into a bigger apartment ends up going to a doorway sized portal, stored one of the few buildings in the city that can store such things. You need to get a ticket to go, even though the portal is yourse it needs people to operate it. But you can go. And if all goes well, you'll live together.

When you get to her dimension the first thing you feel is fear. It's dark, you think your underground, only a few bioluminescent organisms light the way. The city you're in is wet, and cold yet humid, everything is made of either moist steel, or dark wood that's covered in some strange layer of material that feels like wet cardboard. The creatures here aren't human at all, they're all strange bug like and fish like beings.

You eventually go to your girlfriend's apartment. Afraid of what you'll see. It's completely dark inside, and decorated like no human would ever decorate anything. When you see your girlfriend for the first time the horror breaks the love you want to feel. Her body looks humanoid, though she's so thin you can see her ribs, and pale in a way only corpses are useally pale. Her face was almost pretty, but her eyes were one solid pinkish color, and her moulth was just a tiny hole, like a jawless fish, it couldn't move at all. And massive fleshy tentacles came from her back, four of them, with razor teeth at their ends, for chewing her food outside her body so that her tiny slit of a mouth can lap it up. You both just stand there, you realize that this is the girl you love, you realize you look as horrifying to her as she does to you. You begin to weep, and she doesn't understand what your eyes are doing.

You spend the night in her apartment. There's no way you're moving in together. You're not sure what this means. You don't want to look at her at first, but eventually you do. You realize if you have to go back to your world you do want to spend time with her. Your languages work so differently that you still need to use computers to talk to eachother, but you can talk to eachother. And you tell her that you're sorry, that you still want to be together.

You let her hug you, and comfort you, her body is so strange, but it becomes less scary when you fully realize that it's her your looking at, that that's who you've messaged all those nights. Despite her eyes and mouth her face is pretty, and though her body is much thinner then you expected she still moves gracefully. You let her touch you, every way she wanted to touch you, let her tentacles wrap around your body. She shows you her computer setup, and her favorite video games, and she even gets to introduce you to some of her freinds, and her little isopod like pet who really likes being pet by you. You can't help but feel uncomfortable in her dimension, but you feel safe with her, and despite everything you enjoy being held and touched by her. At the end of your stay you make love for the first time, you don't have the same genitals as her species, but you make it work. You fall asleep in her arms, and she would do the same to you, but her kind does not sleep.

When you go back home, because you do have to go back home, you don't tell many people, even people who know about dimensions, what happened where you went. But you still message her a lot, and when you can you visit her, and very rarely she'll visit you. Your mother would never approve, and no priest would marry you, but you can't help but fall into the feeling of her body next to yourse.

[preposterousjams]

Girlhood and Cassandra Cain: a messy analysis

I love how through Batgirl (2000) we just see Cass learn to be a semi-functioning "normal" girl and how she slowly goes from a life centred around justice and violence to a girl with so much wonder in her heart

Like girl starts out only knowing that she can be one thing: A good fighter. So obviously, to her, her own life outside of that means nothing if its non existent.

And at the same time, she doesn't really know what being a "regular person" means. She's had 2 identities: Weapon and Batgirl. In between both she was just surviving and it probably sucked rlly bad. She used to not picture a life outside of Cain, and now she cant picture a life outside of Batgirl. She literally has met like a total of 30 ppl in her life and talked to like 4.

But even with her very limited idea of normal social interactions she is unafraid of trying to show ppl love. She sees through their body language that the opposite of pain is love. But that kind of love requires an interaction outside of fighting.

She can't understand english much at the beginning but her initial drive to learn is not to be a better detective or batgirl related, its her love for people. For them to be happy. Its like a way of being useful.

But when others treat her in the same way, when others show her affection, she wants so bad to experience those connections over and over again. Mutual loving relationships are a new experience to her and she can't get enough of it.

She needs help on a case so what does she do? She breaks into Stephanie's room after meeting her like a single time because who knocks anyways?

wdym its not normal to knock ppl out when they're annoying? Like its convenient so y not?

She quickly makes her first friends but doesn't really know how to act or communicate but still manages to joke around in her own way. But they're happy, and she's happy, so it works.

She even watches crime shows and reality tv like guides on how to interact with people on missions and irl.

But gradually, all these small interactions let her become a person, for her to share small things about herself with others. Relationships let her be someone. Sharing thoughts, having conversations, working together, and anything that involves the small human pleasure of company become things she looks forward to.

And little by little, she starts doing things for herself. Like bro runs around Gotham, night into morning, holding onto a rose because its something thats hers and its pretty but she doesn't even know how plants work, but she's got the spirit. (yes ik that the rose is a randomly placed metaphor for cass having a bad work life balance but its so cute)

She starts going outside as a normal person instead of only for missions. She does normal girl things like going to restaurants but kind of not really cause wtf is a balanced diet.

Being able to share something about herself with someone and to sit in a mutual understanding of each other becomes easy. She lets herself be open to change and finds herself looking forward to living.

Wanting something for herself and being her own person is such a foreign concept to how she was raised but she loves it.

She experiments with everything to see what feels right. She starts flirting with boys, going to parties, dressing up in different styles of fashion. She wants to experience everything that girls do

She also learns that being a girl is different from what the other bats experience

Which sucks especially when she can read people's body language. As batgirl, in her scary ass outfit she was only terrifying and strong. But as a normal girl, people sometimes objectify her which has to be the oddest experience when u could kill someone with the blink of an eye.

Even her new father and brother see her differently than she sees them. Theres a weird social thing that comes with "girlness" that she doesn't understand, where girl things are supposed to be weak and have to be protected. But logically, shes like, yall gotta be protected from me be so forreal.

She dont gaf. Shes got bigger things to be ashamed about and being a girl is not one of them.

As she experiences the downsides of girlhood, she learns of the social expectations that come along. And instead of playing along blindly, she uses them to mess with ppl (and bruce). Cass understands more than anyone that social expectations and behaviours are just created performances that bring ppl together. So she chooses the ones she likes and completely rejects what she doesn't like.

and in the end she picks girly things like bold lipstick, fancy dresses, fashion, because she loves pretty things not because its whats expected. Social norms are like toys she can play with and put aside when they aren't fun.

Like she'll still get into a bar fight after eating the entire menu cause she can. Anyways ted talk over

[shadowtraveled]

what TMA entities would you assign the dungeon lords, esp mithrun? was discussing this (bc marcille is sooo End) and consulting your Seminal Mithrun Meta when i remembered you also went here!

anon i want you to know i was thinking about this nonstop like two weeks ago oh my god. i’d love to hear your thoughts on this if you’re so inclined 👁‍🗨 (and wheeze thank you i don’t know about seminal but i’m glad it passed peer review)

putting a readmore here for spoilers

to preface this, i understand the fears aren’t really separate and it’s all just fear etc but they function as distinct in the way the demons do and in the sense that they each had to mark jon to come into the world. so. distinctive facets of a unified whole. anyway i have two criteria for assigning someone a tma entity: it has to be something they deeply fear, and it has to be something they choose anyway.

and with that being said, marcille is SO end-aligned in a very gentle and chill way i think fits the end so nicely… her intense fear of death is sort of a fear of loss, which would typically be considered the desolation’s domain, especially when coupled with her aptitude for explosion/fire magic and the part of her arc where she tries to expand the dungeon, but she wasn't choosing destruction or hopelessness in either of those cases—there’s something to be said for the carnage she was willing to leave in her wake, but at the end of the day she was trying to eliminate loss. she's fundamentally incompatible with the desolation because she continually rejects it, and the loss itself doesn't form the core of her fear. the inevitability of death, though, does, and she accepts it when she gives up the dungeon and lets falin go. absolutely the end.

i think thistle is another easy designation. he clings to control to the point it corrupts him, and he creates an environment that forbids death, but his desire is not for control and his fear is not of death or loss—those are delgal's. instead, his fear that he won't be able to measure up to the too-large too-heavy responsibility placed on his shoulders is what drives him, and because we know it drives him, we know that he takes it on anyway. he even brings melini underground. extremely the buried.

laios, meanwhile. is difficult for me to assign. his fears (rejection, ostracism, that he isn't able to connect with people, that he hates people) feel very lonely, and he does withdraw from people a fair amount, but he has connections he does not and would not choose to sever. you could make an argument for the hunt (he's drawn to not only monsters but the concept of the food chain itself and his place on it as a part of the natural world, and he ends the series with the object of his fascination out of his reach), but i don't think there's enough fear there. in laios' case, the lack of strict definition between fears and the idea that they're all just muddled subcategories of a singular thing is actually really helpful, because i think i'm assigning him to the vast. it was said at some point that the vast and the lonely aren't too dissimilar—you won't realize how alone you are without distance, and that sort of mental/emotional distance and disconnect is what has haunted laios his entire life. and i think that's, in part, what makes the cosmic insignificance of seeing yourself as just another part of your environment so comforting to him. his choices... definitely make him cosmically significant lmfao but even though he chooses to be the one to go up against Infinity Itself and its endless hunger and even though he chooses to be king, he fits himself right back into the position of being a single piece of a much larger puzzle. he became lord of the dungeon to become a part of the food chain that would stand a chance to preserve it (via eating the demon's hunger). he's king because there was a gap that needed to be filled. even then, he wants his body to be scattered after death, so that he can be devoured like any other living thing would be. god i love this manga. anyway, tentative but i think the vast is the only thing i can justify at this time. actually, accepting the hunger of the infinite could itself be seen as accepting the vast into himself…….

and finally, mithrun! surprising absolutely nobody given my take on his backstory, i'd give him to the lonely, with the caveat that he does eventually sever his connection to it. prior to becoming lord of a dungeon, we know he thought the worst of people (and again i think this was intentional of him), but we also know he put up a front that was undeniably kind. milsiril says that everyone loved him for the front, but its very existence acted as a barrier between himself and others: milsiril had no idea how miserable he was, and neither did anyone else. he'd already begun choosing isolation, and he chose it ultimately when he became lord of a dungeon, literally cutting himself off from everyone in a pocket dimension where he surrounded himself with facsimiles of people he loved until... they dwindled. and they did, until he was alone again, with only the demon and the unresponsive chimera construction of the person he considered to be the one he loved. after he was eaten, we see themes of emptiness typical of the lonely coupled with his disconnection from his team—in one of the extras it says they don't really know how to approach him, and i think it shows. so in a way, he ends up back where he started: surrounded by people who care about him and who he ostensibly cares about in return, but emotionally alone. as for fear, i think a lot of his are tied up in the concept of insignificance, but that insignificance isn't cosmic—it's personal. that's why watching himself be replaced was so unbearable for him and why the thought of being left unfinished was so horrific.

as an aside, i did also consider the corruption. the idea of leftovers abandoned carries the connotation of rot and i love the concept of 'the rot within you' etc. it gets me every time, and i think there's something to be said about that with regard to the way mithrun views the person he once was. furthermore, the... eating... scene... is framed as sexual and extremely invasive (and, as a result of the combination, is very evocative of disgust) in a way we see most often with the corruption (though imo tma would never see something like this as it toes the line of jonny's "no sexual trauma horror" rule too closely), and we have to remember that for all that it terrified mithrun, he was trying to get it to happen again. but i don't think disgust is enough of a factor for him. most of his disgust is aimed at himself, and while he doesn't shy away from it, he isn't really drawn to it either. rather, i think his dialogue in the extra comic in the complete edition of the adventurer's bible ("there's nothing so kind as a demon. suddenly losing that kind of love opens a hole in your heart[...]") goes a long way in terms of defining what being eaten meant to him. the corruption focuses on a feeling of belonging and community. mithrun wanted to disappear forever knowing that in the last moment he lived he was loved. ultimately, the fear of being abandoned coupled with his attraction to being unknown and eventually entirely gone read as lonely-aligned to me.

anyway i'd LOVE to hear where you're at with this please come chat literally whenever this is the most excited i’ve ever been about anything

[otogariado]

i am always skeptical of media where the monstrous creatures of evil are painted as irredeemable and truly inhuman because they aren't capable of thinking and feeling like humans—it's easy for it to fall into so many -isms, notably ableism and racism. it's like the age old argument against robots except make it fantasy, and to have it painted in such a cut and dry way sets off alarm bells.

but i think the way frieren (the show) handles its demons and the concept of them only being able to mimic human speech and other parts of human culture and not understand it is actually good. in that, intrinsically, frieren (the show) is about human connection. they put a lot of emphasis on human understanding as well as compassion. and i think it's fundamental that frieren (the character) is presented the way she is—an elf who is also inhuman, but is so very human in her sentience anyway. she doesn't perceive a lot of things similarly to humans because of the gap between her morality and the morality of humans, but still she is able to shift her perspective the more she interacts with people and the world around her and the more she opens up to it. when your main character is presented as an "outsider looking in" and is going through an arc of self-(re)discovery, it changes the game when you introduce demons.

at first i was heavily against demons being painted in such a frank way. it's been a while since i watched that arc when it was released, but since then i think the concept of the clones in the dungeon during the second exam in the exam arc adds more insight to it. the clones don't have actual minds, but try to perfectly recreate them instead. and now i understand and accept it. you can mimic and recreate a person from the ground up so perfectly, but it comes with the caveat of no matter how perfect your mimicry is, if it's all logic and algorithms then that's just not human. even if a person is very logical and rational in their way of thinking, people are imperfect. there's always factors that influence how we think and feel (even if we're someone who doesn't 'feel' as much as other people), "noise" that would count as human error. and that's something the demons never account for. as people have put it, how terrifying is it to recreate something without fundamentally understanding it.

and now it's very interesting how timely this theme is in frieren with regards to discussions about the (mis)use of AI and topics like AI art. it's a whole other discussion entirely, but it's really fascinating timing that these discussions kind of align. i don't believe AI is inherently "evil" (and i don't like how most people talk about it like it's a boogeyman) because ultimately it is supposed to be a tool and it depends on those who program it and wield it. but i firmly believe that AI is not meant to replace humans, because it just can't. it's meant to augment our lives for improvement but never completely replace anyone. AI art in particular can almost be related to frieren directly: AI art is generated through an algorithm. yes, AI follow decision-making algorithms and that's how it learns and comes up with outputs. but ultimately these decisions could never come close to the thought process a real human could have. an AI can mimic a pattern it sees from a certain artist, but it can never recreate the artistic vision that the original artist had that lead to that very specific decision. and people are inconsistent; it's only natural to us humans. the downfall of AI is that since it is decision-based, it has to follow a certain set of rules, and that in of itself already hinders it from ever coming close to humans. because humans are constantly changing, and people can react to an event they're re-experiencing differently than they did originally. i used to hate onions as a kid and now i love eating them. do you think demons have a concept of that in the universe of frieren?

[patibato]

[Bitter Sweet Sixteen] 002-A08 - It's All a Series of Coincidences*

Floating in the Seto Inland Sea, made up of many peninsulas and bays, is Shodoshima.

It's characterised as a place rich in nature with a gentle climate where it rarely rains, making it extremely popular as a tourist destination-

An area known as the "Home of Hishio**" houses soy sauce factories and moromi** warehouses, and is also famous as a land of traditional work.

On top of that, it's one of the venues for the "Setouchi Triennale", an art festival held once every three years. …It's an island that also has a strong connection to the arts, you see.

There are many interesting tales about its history, too. Like how it's said that the two gods Izanagi and Izanami created this island-

Or that Kakure Kirishitan*** had apparently been hiding there for a long time… stuff like that.

Kiroku & Muneuji & Nanaki & Akuta: WOOAAAAAAAAAH… sooo cool!

Akuta: Wait, isn't this seriously sick? It was the same for the plane ride earlier, but this is my first time riding a ferry! It's huge and wide and shakes as it moves! It's awesome!

Kiroku: … …It feels… like… we've gone, really… really far.

Nanaki: It's ocean all around. Ah, look. The seagulls are flying side-by-side. There's so many of them.

Muneuji: It's around about noon. They're certainly searching for prey.

Momiji: (Everyone's completely changed from this morning, their eyes are sparkling. …I'm really glad they're enjoying themselves.)

*clickclickclickclickclick*

Ushio: Aargh, the salty breeze is making my hair all sticky. This is the worst.

*clickclickclickclickclick*

Ushio: The ferry's big but there's nothing on it, and it's not like seagulls are rare on the island…

Momiji: (So he says, while taking the most pictures here… He's not honest, huh.)

*beep*

Momiji: Ah, sounds like we're about to arrive!

Momiji: …Oookay, and that's why, starting today, everyone will be staying in this inn we rented out-

Akuta: R-rented out? So we can do whatever we want here!? WOOOOAAAAAHH, NO WAY, I'M GETTING MEGA HYPED!

Momiji: Wait… Akuta-kun, your nose is bleeding! You're getting too excited! Don't move, okay! The tissues should be around…

Akuta: Hey hey, let's go explore the inn right now! Wonder if any places are forbidden!? I'll open 'em up~~~~!

Nanaki: I'll be good with a room on the second floor. Nobody come in, okay? Later then.

Momiji: Come on now! Akuta-kun, calm down! And Nanaki-kun, don't just leave the room at your own convenience!

Ushio: The first floor toilet is mine. Do forgive me for not sharing with others, since we're not at school.

Kiroku: … …

Momiji: Don't be selfish, Ushio-kun! And Kiroku-kun, don't go to sleep yet!

Muneuji: It's like a one-man daycare.

Momiji: You're telling me! There's no sign of things calming down at all!

Ushio: Inflexible teachers are hated, y'know? Don't worry about the rooms. See ya.

Momiji: AAARGH~! I SAID, stop acting at your own con-

Muneuji: Ushio.

Ushio: What?

Muneuji: HUP.

*swish*

*thunk*

Ushio: …Huh?

Akuta: Muneuji grabbed Ushio's hand-

Nanaki: And flipped him over…

Kiroku: …

Momiji: (Amazing. Was that aikido? He quieted the area in one move…!)

Muneuji: …Everyone, recall why we have come here. Our current standing is that we are being exempt from expulsion, and there must have been circumstances surrounding that.

I understand the feeling of excitement at going far away, however if we are lacking in unity we will soon come to face the consequences.

Ushio: …If so, then…!

Why me? Nanamegi was trying to leave the room!

Muneuji: Forgive me. As we are childhood friends, it was easy to throw you safely.

Momiji: (That reasoning's kinda…)

Muneuji: Chief. At this very moment, everyone is too stunned to speak.

Momiji: Ah- thank you! Muneuji-kun! First, to wipe Akuta-kun's face…

Akuta: Mggh.

Momiji: Alright…! Now, let's decide on those room allocations you're all so curious about.

Muneuji: In regards to that, how about we use this to resolve things fairly?

Momiji: This is… paper sumo?

Muneuji: Should anything happen, we can settle it fair and square with this. …And the winner shall receive an appropriate reward.

Akuta: Nice! Sounds fun! No matter who wins, you can't complain~!

Momiji: And the champion is Akuta-kun~! With a frontal crush out at the edge of the ring, what an admirable technical finisher!

Akuta: Hell yeah! Single room get~!

Momiji: Nanaki-kun and Kiroku-kun, since you were the runner-up and tentative third place, are you alright sharing a room?

Nanaki: I'm fine with anyone. We decided everyone other than the winner is going into double rooms anyway.

Rooming with Kinugawa-kun sounds chill, so I don't have any particular complaints.

Kiroku: …

Muneuji: Then I, who didn't participate, shall room with Ushio, who came last.

Ushio: It's enviable how lively you get about paper sumo.

Muneuji: But we played it all the time in the past.

Ushio: That was when I was seriously a little brat!

Momiji: Now that that's decided, take each of your belongings to your respective rooms. Let's reconvene here after a quick break.

(At any rate… that coordinator we asked to show us around the island sure is late… We did talk about meeting at the inn.)

(I'll message him again, if we need to reschedule it might be better to go out and meet him ourselves-)

Ushio: HO-HOGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

Momiji: What a bizarre scream…! No, what happened!? Ushio-kun…!

Akuta: What was that!? Has the first murder finally happened!?

Nanaki: I heard a really weird scream.

Kiroku: …?

Muneuji: Was there a bug?

Ushio: Awawawawawa…! Th-there, wook over there…!

Momiji: What's over- huh!?

Momiji: Th-the first murder-!

*I might make a proper post about this later, but now seems like a good time to mention that - while I don't believe there's any official confirmation - all the Day2 chapter titles are almost certainly named after movies, or something relating to them. This chapter, for example, uses a well-known phrase from "The Inugami Family", a movie featuring a corpse found with both legs sticking out of the water (you've probably seen other stuff reference that particular bit too). …Though unfortunately I'm not able to get an official subbed copy of the movie, so the chapter title is still my own translation, as opposed to being a proper reference 🥲

**Hishio and moromi are both related to the process of making soy sauce. I'm not the best at understanding food, so I'll just copy/paste the definitions: hishio is "watery mash left over from making soy sauce", and moromi is "main fermenting mash (in production of sake or soy sauce); unrefined sake or soy sauce"

***Kakure Kirishitan (lit. Hidden Christians) are Japanese Christians who went into hiding due to persecution in the 1600's

****The inn they're staying at is also a real place on Shodoshima, called Otomari Chuzaemon

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Masterlist

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

Hey so idk if you would know this but where did the term canyon in reference to Izzy fans come from? I feel like I just started seeing it like three days ago but everyone seems to already know what it means

lol so disclaimer that this ask has been in my inbox since september 23rd and alsoooo i might not be the best person to ask bc i am belothed by many who consider themselves part of the izzy canyon (which is their right). so if you asked an izzy fan about this you would probably get a different answer. also from what i can tell the term originated on twitter and i don’t go there.

the tl;dr that i heard secondhand from someone who identifies as izzy canyon is that at some point last year (summer or fall-ish i think) a lot of izzy fans were blocking so many people who didn’t like izzy that a lot of them ended up being unaware of general fandom trends and it became a running joke among them that izzy fans were isolated from the rest of the fandom in an "izzy canyon." and then allegedly the term expanded to just mean "if ur not a dick abt ppl liking izzy u can be in the canyon." THAT BEING SAID there are other ppl who had a very different experience with how "the canyon" originated and what kind of fan space it tends to be.

(slightly longer explanation below)

the thing with The Canyon is that to understand its origin and also why some fans have a problem with it, you gotta know two things:

there are annoying puriteen anti types on the internet who think liking certain characters make you a bad person. from what i can tell theyre mostly on twitter and tiktok. these people are annoying but also in my experience they're usually pretty easy to block and ignore.

the popularity of izzy hands is disproportionate to his narrative role in the show, and the popular fanon interpretation of izzy hands casts him not only as a principal character but as a much more sympathetic, righteous character than he is in canon. THIS DOES NOT MEAN I THINK ANYONE IS A BAD PERSON FOR LIKING IZZY. this DOES mean that i think ppl who think ed is izzy's domestic abuser are wrong. and also this is part of an age old fandom trend of fandom favoring a masc white guy who is often a side character and also often an antagonist.

so from what i can tell. in the early days of the ofmd fandom (spring-summer 2022) there was a lot of #1 going around on twitter, screaming about how if you liked izzy hands then you're a racist abuse apologist or something. at one point a throwaway account tweeted a callout for a popular izzy fan and said "we know they live in this area and work for this company, so these are the locations where they might work. everyone should call these numbers and tell their job to fire them. also we're gonna target these izzy fans next" and like, obviously this account was pretty quickly taken down. but it was a pretty scary thing and left a lot of izzy fans pretty paranoid, hence the blocking everyone who didnt like izzy.

(there was also a "izzy hater group chat" twitter account that was literally just a small group of mostly minors posting memes and also abt izzy that got accused of being connected to that whole mess. but afaict those guys have nothing to do with harassment of izzy fans they just dont like izzy)

so the thing is now that all of that has been used to justify shutting down any type of conversation about #2, or writing off anyone who posts meta about izzy that isnt like, "he works so hard and is so unappreciated despite everything he's done for ed" as an "izzy anti." analyzing izzy critically and posting this in the #izzy hands tag on tumblr is likened to genuine harassment.

oh lol and speaking of harrasment: there was also a problem with ppl on tumblr getting anon hate, and izzy fans will tell you that the anon came from an izzy hater who was targeting izzy fans bc the anon messages use "izzy critical rhetoric." however as someone who has posted "izzy critical" metas or whatever, i have actually gotten the same harassing messages accusing me of being an izzy stan and a racist abuse apologist. that's not what a targeted harassment campaign looks like. that's all been less of a problem ever since tumblr made it so you need to be logged in to an account to send anonymous messages.

anyway my stance on all of this:

i don't hate anyone for liking izzy. i am critical of certain comments/behaviors i often see from ppl who identify as izzy fans, but izzy fans are rarely the only ones who have this problem. from what i've seen tho, a lot of it comes from izzy fans.

before i ever saw even a hint of harassment against izzy fans, i saw izzy fans coming onto my posts and to posts by fans of color trying to argue that these posts were contributing to their harassment. from my perspective, it looked a lot like fans of a white character were trying to shut down conversations abt their favorite guy, especially when those conversations were being had by fans of color. i was very skeptical and oftentimes pretty dismissive abt the existence of this harassment.

since then tho ive done a pretty deep dive into the anon harassment on tumblr, and also looked at takes from different perspectives on the whole thing, and my conclusion is that there is harassment of izzy fans, however it is on the same base-level shittiness that most people experience from just... being on the internet. death threats and insults and slurs are literally just part of being on the internet. and yes, it SUCKS and it's wrong and nobody should have to put up with it, but izzy fans are not victims of specific targeted harassment. theyre victims of being on the internet and having to put up with general internet shittiness. and im sympathetic to that up until ppl start using "ive been harassed for being an izzy fan" as an excuse to be incredibly nasty (check out this tumblr acct for examples of what i mean lol). the ofmd fandom is annoying and parts of it are toxic but like, by no means is this the most toxic fandom to ever exist. we're not at "undertale fan giving out cookies with needles in them at a convention" levels just yet.

finally, tangentially related: i am inherently wary of fandom sub-groups that like, name themselves?? in my experience, the more people make being a Type Of Fan part of their identity the more it tends to lead to problems. this goes for fans who label themselves "antis" or "anti-antis" or whatever the fuck. i've personally been called an "izzy anti," an "izzy hater," and an "izzy critical fan" but like, i dont really call myself that?? it just seems weird to me idk. it gets to be very "us vs them" on default with little nuance and ive never found this kind of thing to be like, productive in fandom spaces. but that's just me.

[invinciblerodent]

What is Iona’s relationship with Gale? Does she have any particular thoughts or feelings about him?

Oh, thank you for asking! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

(this is kind of a misleading shot lol, but I don't have many of the two of them)

The TL; DR of it would be that by the endgame they're quite close friends (he more or less takes over her role as "leader" once she and Astarion disappear after the Brain's defeat), but I think there are always going to be at least a few things on which they don't quite see eye to eye- they're very different people, with very different approaches to magic, ambition, love, and life in general.

I haven't unpicked all the threads there yet, but I know the key point of connection and clash between them would both be magic, as it often is for wizards and sorcerers.

Iona is very new to actually using her gift of it (and comes from a background that not only didn't let her hone it, but actively forced her to try and ignore it for decades), she isn't familiar with its particulars, its ins and outs- but due to her inborn connection to the Weave, to her draconic blood, not only do her talents develop in leaps and bounds once she accesses them (to the level they should be at at her age, and then they plateau), she also feels it in a way far different from the way Gale describes it.

Wizardry is a symphony, a melody, strings to pluck in order or a sculpture to shape with careful touch, but sorcery... is something far more intrinsic, more visceral than that. It's blood, it's power, it's a living thing that thrums within her body and beats against her ribs like a heart twin to her own, yearning to be used. It's not a part of her like the Orb, or Karlach's engine- it's rather as much a part of her as Gale's ambition, or Astarion's hunger (which is an early conversation I have them having, lol). A sorcerer is not something she does, but something she is.

I think early on, he looks at her like any academic would at a savant (she's crude, yet talented- powerful but in need of shaping), while she looks at him like a fish would at a diver (a guest who belongs, but a guest nonetheless in an environment that is native to her).

Anyway, that difference in understanding kind of causes a bit of friendly tension early on, but that's sort of just an undercurrent to the understanding and respect that is otherwise present between them. (She values his knowledge, he admires her raw power, they help each other out, it's cool lol.)

Long story short I think they pretty much only figure each other out in his Last Night Alive scene- until then, she didn't quite see all that fear in him, while he maybe didn't quite see her wisdom. And sure, it's not like either of them was going out of their way to show it, but that scene is where the masks finally get put down.

I don't recall the exact lines I gave her to say in that scene (or where I wrote them lol), but it was something like "It's easy enough to forget sometimes just how young you are, Gale. I may not have the perspective of centuries in this life yet, but to experience eternity is the boon and burden of us fey folk. The lives of humans... They're already barely a flash in the pan, a plume of smoke. Don't be so eager to throw away something so fragile, yet so precious."

........... Anyway, they then proceed to have a lengthy, and uncomfortably deep conversation about life, death, and religion, and that sort of alters their relationship from a covert, yet friendly almost-rivalry, to a genuine friendship.

in another life, they could have been a very annoying couple who like, get divorced around five years in due to their irreconcilable differences. her kind of broken doesn't jive with his kind of broken, lol.

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 38: Practice

While this particular picture was of course taken by Entertainment Weekly, it comes to me by way of "hotzxgirl.com" and was labeled "Eye of the Tar Valon | Hot sex picture". Spoiler alert! Unless you have a lot of very specific fetishes, this is not a hot sex picture. It also doesn't even depict anything that happens in this chapter, but that's not going to stop me is it? What might stop you if you don't like spoilers is the knowledge that if you keep reading, you consent (in a hot and sexy way?) to get all sorts Wheel of Time spoilers from all over the series.

This chapter has a Flame of Tar Valon icon now that we're back in Tar Valon. It's been awhile! Four or five in-world months and like... fourteen chapters, I think?

She knew how easy it was to touch saidar now. She could always feel it there, waiting for her, like the smell of perfume or the feel of silk, drawing her, drawing her. And once she did touch it, she could rarely stop from channeling, or at least trying to. She failed almost as often as she succeeded, but that was only another spur to keep on.

Untainted, saidar is naturally a much bigger draw for channelers than its twin. It's also a great mindset Egwene has as a student, especially since she is also a bit concerned by her growing addiction as well. Unlike Rand, she knows damn well she's going to be a daily user.

Three short paces took Nynaeve from wall to white-plastered wall; Nynaeve’s own room was much larger, but since she had made no friends among the other Accepted, she came to Egwene’s room when she needed someone to talk to, even as now when she did not talk at all.

This is such a mood.

“Else was making calf’s eyes at Galad today while he was working with the Warders,” Min said, rocking the stool on two legs.

It's funny how Min so naturally recreates the described conditions of Emond's Field for Egwene, being the latest eyes-and-ears reporting on a woman's movement towards the gentleman Egwene has picked.

It's also clear build-up for that pairing that Jordan abandoned later on down the line in favor of Egwene/Gawyn and Galad/Berelain. It's nice and somewhat more realistic though, that unlike most of the other main characters, Egwene doesn't find her true suitor immediately.

He’d hurt a person because he had to serve a greater good. He wouldn’t even notice who was hurt, because he’d be so intent on the other, but if he did, he would expect them to understand and think it was all well and right.

This is the thing that separates Galad from being an actual fucking saint, the way his big picture focus hides him from the little details.

War in Cairhien. War on Toman Head. They may have caught the false Dragon in Saldaea, but there’s still war in Tear. Most of it is rumors, anyway.

A nod to the Gospel of Matthew, which says that a sign of the end times is wars and rumors of wars. Guess this is just what you have to expect from all the comings of Rand.

She had not dreamed about him in months, now, not the kind of dreams she had had on the River Queen. Anaiya still made her write down everything she dreamed, and the Aes Sedai checked them for signs, or connections to events, but there was never anything about Rand except dreams that, Anaiya said, meant she missed him. Oddly, she felt almost as if he were not there any longer, as if he had ceased to exist, along with her dreams, a few weeks after reaching the White Tower.

Obviously it's a bit silly to talk about abandoned ideas UNDER abandoned ideas, but one wonders if Jordan had originally intended for Egwene to stop being a dreamer at the end of the series, the way her initial foray here is so intimately tied to Rand's presence in the world.

That sent a chill through her, as it never failed to do, the thought of Rand being gentled, Rand weeping and wanting to die as Logain did.

Here the reader is reminded that though there's Mirror Worlds out there where Egwene gentles or kills Rand, they're not her true self and in any case those Egwenes were probably just as devastated as the real one would be to be backed into such a corner.

“I’m sorry, Min,” Nynaeve said in a tight voice. “Sometimes my temper. . . . I can’t ask you to forgive me, not for this.” She took a deep breath. “If you want to report me to Sheriam, I will understand. I deserve it.”

A nice bit that shows that Nynaeve's a good person who just has some issues, but it's also funny to note that Nynaeve is demonstrating she's exactly the sort of person Galad assumes everyone would be under the circumstances.

With murmurs of “forgiven” that sounded meant on both sides, the two women hugged.

Gosh Nyneve and Min are fun together. It's a real shame they won't really get to hang out much until Rand's practically having his Sith armor made.

A man who drove oxen as hard as they drive us would be shunned. I am tired all the time. I wake up tired and go to bed exhausted, and sometimes I’m so afraid that I will slip and channel more of the Power than I can handle that I. . . .

I expect that training in the AoL was still rigorous but nowhere near as exhausting and that much as battlefield first aid is the only kind of Healing still left, the only sorts of instruction that survived through the Breaking were something like the Hell Week stints before final examinations. And then naturally they never bothered to see if there was a less grueling method.

“The Traveling People are tempting,” Nynaeve agreed, “but wherever you go, it will not change what you can do. You cannot run from saidar.” She did not sound as if she liked what she was saying.

Somewhere far away, Moiraine is laughing and she doesn't know why.

Min shifted on her stool. “I don’t like reading friends,” she muttered. “Friendship gets in the way of the reading. It makes me try to put the best face on what I see. That’s why I don’t do it for you three anymore. Anyway, nothing has changed about you that I can. . . .”

Poor Min probably's been burned once or twice with a friend she thought she could trust with the secret of her power, only for the thirst for knowledge to overcome any actual relationship. It must really suck now that her friends aren't just channelers, who always have omens, but specifically the plot relevant ones.

Before she reached it, though, a dark-eyed Aes Sedai with her blond hair done in a multitude of braids stepped into the room. Egwene blinked in surprise, as much at it being any Aes Sedai as at Liandrin. She had not heard that Liandrin had returned to the White Tower, but beyond that, novices were sent for if an Aes Sedai wanted them; it could mean no good, a sister coming herself.

Especially not since the danger omen probably triggered specifically the moment Liandrin set out to the rooms.

“Do you have some word of Rand?” Egwene asked eagerly. Liandrin arched an eyebrow at her. “Forgive me, Aes Sedai. I forget myself.” “Have you word of them?” Nynaeve said, just short of a demand. The Accepted had no rule about not speaking to an Aes Sedai until spoken to.

1. Egwene why would you think a Red showing up to give you news about Rand is something to ask after eagerly?

2. Nynaeve would have acted exactly the same way she does here even if she were a Novice.

“Someday, I am sure, you will serve a cause, and you will learn then that to serve it you must work even with those whom you dislike. I tell you I have worked with many with whom I would not share a room if it were left to me alone. Would you not work alongside the one you hated worst, if it would save your friends?”

I wonder which Black sisters in particular Liandrin doesn't like. Are the 12 who run off with her included? Any non Red/Black combo?

(Also by "Someday, I am sure, you will serve a cause," she means "Next Tuesday at the latest you'll be slaves", just saying.)

You two come from their village. In some way I do not entirely understand, you are connected to them. Beyond that, I cannot say.

Surprisingly, all of this is entirely truthful. I mean, yeah the first sentence is obvious, but the second sentence means "I am not able to question my masters as to why you're important but they say you are" and the third sentence means "I'm bound by the Oath Rod not to betray their secrets anyway".

“You have my permission. Tell no one. No one at all. The Black Ajah walks the halls of the White Tower.”

Speaking of being bound not to reveal secrets, there's three options for how she pulls this off:

1. The straightforward one is what she says below, that with Tarmon Gai'don approaching this can't be denied any longer. Presumably this would be an executive decision by Ishamael or at least Alviarin and not something Liandrin is able to decide on her own.

2. Her explanation is merely a way of hiding her allegiance. The truth is she knows that Siuan and Moiraine know about the Black Ajah and possibly others and thus she no longer considers the Ajah's existing a secret that has to be held close.

3. As above, but instead of Siuan and Moiraine being the catalysts, Liandrin feels that the certainty of these girls dying as damane, utterly cut off from any way to spread the knowledge, still counts as holding the secret close and thus she can disclose it. As this is the closest to traditional "villain monologuing to a hero caught in a death trap", it's my preferred one.

“She is Aes Sedai,” Nynaeve said dryly. “I’ll wager my best silver pin against a blueberry that every word she said was true. But I wonder if we heard what we thought we did.”

Quite possibly everything she said was true, which means that the Black Ajah has been getting ahold of any letters Moiraine is sending to Siuan in confidence. Pretty alarming how deep the rot goes!

I can’t even go for a walk without the Amyrlin herself popping out and asking me to read whoever we see. When that woman asks you to do something, there doesn’t seem to be any way out of it. I must have read half the White Tower for her, but she always wants another demonstration.

Siuan is probably trying to get a handle on what's going to happen in the Tower in the lead up to the Last Battle, though unfortunately Min's symbols are far too esoteric for them to make any sense of at this point - and don't show up until they're set in stone anyway. Whatever hopes she had of Black Ajah hunting by this method must be roundly dashed by now.

I’ll bet we won’t either of us cry ourselves to sleep on an adventure.

And here comes dramatic irony with the steel chair!

I can see the danger around all of you more clearly, now. Not clearly enough to make it out, but I think it has something to do with you deciding to go. That’s why it is clearer; because it is more certain.

I think Min's on the right track but missing a little bit here. The certainty is tied to the vector of danger: Liandrin and the Seanchan. If the girls did refuse, ran to Sheriam, and told all, they might not leave the Tower at all (at least not Elayne; maybe not the others if Sheriam's out of the loop about Liandrin) and would instead have the uncertain danger of the backup plan of the Black Ajah looming over them instead.

However much she might argue beforehand, once a course of action had been decided, Nynaeve always went right to the practicalities: what they had to take with them, and how cold it would be by the time they reached Toman Head, and how they could get their horses from the stables without being stopped.

Being Village Wisdom, the only way to be effective is to worry about the practicalities, even if the woolheads on the Village Council have decided to do something stupid and won't listen to you. It'll be a trait that helps her out later too, when she's a queen.

[bookwyrminspiration]

ok i think i got it out of my system enough to respond to the previous message!!! i just love books i love stories i love READING i have missed it so much. i hope your mom enjoys if you're able to make the muffins!!! and i'm glad you got down safe, unpredictable weather is unfamiliar to me--it is more just a one note song generally until winter and then the weather is just (opening my hands dramatically) wind haha.

and hey i would be so down to watch arcane together with you but i do not have netflix so it would probably all be more difficult than it should be... if you mean it though we can always schedule it for a date & time and watch things very slightly out of sync and talk through discord or something!

hilariously i think those are the exact reasons i love acrylics so much--and they were the most accessible and easy to learn for me when i was younger so i'm very familiar with them, too. i really enjoy being able to feel the things i make and so i love how thick acrylics are, but also FULL RESPECT for watercolor bitches. i do not have the patience to be one outside of class but i love watercolor art it is so cool. and re: stretched canvases i ended up using the square one and made this! but i've got to ask a friend because i know THEY stretch their own canvases and i would like to see if they have tips because. help. how do you do that.

You get me, i love stories I love reading I love when a book reminds me exactly why I love it so much. Because sometimes you go through slumps and you don't feel that connection, like a drought, and when the rain comes its such bliss. A Chorus of Dragons did that for me, I missed the feeling of anticipation and analysis it brought out in me.

I hope she does as well! I might try to make the muffins mini, as I think with how rich they sound like they'll be that'll be better. And it's so interesting to hear about weather other places. Here we have a base of generally dry and warm, with only brief interruptions to that. Today it rained for like half an hour this afternoon and then went back to pleasantly sunny, if overcast. And yesterday it went from legit thunder and lightning to completely clear in 40 minutes as if it'd never been here. it's amazing to me that there are places where when it rains it's just. Raining all day.

And I would also genuinely be down to watch arcane with you, however we work that out. Whether watching slightly out of sync or if we could screen share over discord or something. Whatever it is, I'd be interested!

Kudos to you on the acrylic thing--I can understand what it is people like, they just happen to not be things I like, unfortunately. I've used them a few times before but it's just not my preference. I don't like that my sketch disappears beneath it, I like having the reference. But the people who can use acrylic? Phenomenal, exquisite, I'm in awe. Idk how you do it but I'm saluting you. FULL RESPECT to acrylic bitches. And that is a lovely piece! I can definitely tell it's yours; you have a very distinct style, but I don't know if I can explain it. It's the shapes and the colors, they're very consistent and I can almost always identify something as yours on my dash--though once or twice a piece slipped by

I wish you many successes in figuring out the stretching canvas thing! I respect the...control? That it gives you over your art. Like that's another aspect that is now made to your specifications, and now there's something of you in the canvas. So the piece is even more representative, which is super cool!

[eidolonartt]

Hey! I just wanted to say I really love your character art! I might have said it already and straight up forgot, but that just means you get to hear it again, right?

I was wondering, could I possibly hear some fun facts about Ulrich and Finnick? I love Tieflings so much! Also, what is their dynamic like?

WAHHH THANK YOUUU!!!!! U CAN HEAR PLENTY OF FUN FACTS

Ulrich: - He's not necessarily anti-magic or anything that severe, but he prefers fighting people who don't use it. He feels like dueling with blades only is more fun, and what he can't articulate as well is that he enjoys the connection between him and the other people. He can determine more about them as a person based on their fighting style, but he feels that's not as easy when they're a mage bc he's just not familiar enough with magic - He's a pretty good baker overall and his favorite things to make are regular breads! He's a good enough cook as well. - He doesn't eat most meats because of issues with texture, but fish somethings is an exception. If it's meat in other forms, though, he's usually fine with it (ground red meat in particular is a-ok) - His parents are circus performers who have not talked to him since he was 16 mostly because they couldn't be bothered Finnick: - Wasn't originally born a grey tiefling, at a young age he stumbled onto his parents performing a ritual that went awry, killing them and leaving him drained of his color. He doesn't know why and is still trying to figure it out - As such he doesn't HAVE to dress in greyscale but its something he's embraced as a way to come to terms with the outcome. His blood is black as well, and he does have a gnarly scar on his back - I DID design some of his tattoos with the explicit intent for them to be magic. You can see the tattoo sheet here! I don't even fully remember what I was going for, but the ones on the right from top to bottom I believe are detect magic, identify, find familiar, and sending. His chest piece and other arm are just decoration, and I designed those too :] - He runs a magic store and the hours are kind of ???? ?? heehee <:3 because his sleep schedule is nonexistent. He half-jokingly claims he doesn't keep consistent hours to make the shop seem more exclusive

Dynamic: - Finnick and Ulrich generally get along because they're both kind of jaded and sardonic in similar ways and it led to them understanding each other off the bat more than either of them normally do with new people! They both do the thing where they're kind of prickly and difficult to deal with but they're not earnestly mean or cruel - At the same time they're also both stubborn and difficult to deal with so they butt heads because of that too lol - What brings them together more is Finnick showing thoughtful, unprompted kindness to Ulrich and Ulrich being very stubborn about getting Finnick to improve his own circumstances (eating regularly, not just hyperfocusing on magic books and leaving the house a mess) and helps him through that. - Ulrich is more extroverted between the two of them but in a weird way Finnick has more charisma and is better with people lol

[lightleelandslost]

Just anxious and wanting to put this out there

Hey, I don't post here ever. Though I probably should, I feel like it would help me be my authentic self. Anyways I am kind of in crisis mode. This is long but, I need to put it somewhere.

So recently I've triumphed in my Insta account, successfully removing homophobic family and friends so that I could have a social space that felt like mine. I've finally been posting what I want to post, without really worrying about who would see it and how they would react. I've also joined LGBTQ+ friendship groups and have slowly building up the confidence to comment and post occasionally.

I was comfortable, I felt safe and so when a random friendship request came in that didn't immediately raise red flags, I accepted. We talked for a couple days and though a couple things stand out now, they didn't in the moment. We had some things in common and she was easy to talk to. When she sent private photos, I reciprocated even though I wasn't quite ready at that point. But I was lonely and uncomfortable with my body, but the fact that someone wanted to see me made me happy.

Now she threatens to expose them unless I send money.

I, of course, immediately blocked and reported that account and then spiraled into a storm of anxiety that makes me want to delete social media altogether. I think (hope) that they are empty threats. She says she'll send them to my boss and my family and days later nothing has happened. Today she stared a random group chat (under a different account) with strangers (???) and claimed she was going to send them with threats to add more people after she'd already sent them. I've blocked and reported this account as well (which again is passable as a real account at first glance). I took screenshots of those threats, just in case I need them in the future. Insta has not reported any change in their account status, but i'm not expecting much help from them.

I spent 20 minutes searching in a panic trying to find advice for what to do in this situation. Trying to find reddit threads, insta advice, anything advising what to do in this situation until i finally found this very basic advice.

I knew that paying them wouldn't help at all (a. I'm poor, there's nothing in these pockets, b. they'd probably just ask for more down the line) also they never sent demands, just threats and devil emojis. I figure that if this person was going to do anything they would've done something more meaningful by now. So that leaves me to play whack-a-mole and how much anxiety till my heart gives out until they finally give up. If they do send them out I will explain myself, it will be uncomfortable but if they're actually decent people/friends they will be understanding and hopefully supportive.

I do not wish this sort of thing upon my worst enemy. I can't put into words how fast my heart rate and anxiety rise when an insta notification comes through my phone. I hope that this is over soon so that I can build myself up again to where I was before.

I was vulnerable, lonely, looking for a friend, and trying to fit in. I am trying to be kind to myself in this situation but it is hard. I want so badly to shut myself completely out and never try this sort of thing again but I know that this stuff would find its way through anyways and how social media can help connect people with true friends and family. In the future I will be more vigilant and cautious. In the same breath I hope that I am able to be vulnerable again, I have trouble with this, and learn that setting boundaries is okay.

I'm sharing this to A. put everything into words and talk myself through everything that's going on (therapist's on leave, nobody else to talk to) and B. to let others that have gone through the same situation know that they are not alone, this stuff happens sometimes.

All the love

[mapsofnonexistentplacesremade]

Olzha and freda are like my favorites tell me more about their dynamic. i need to go through your toyhouse and read more of the profiles for trainstory... Hi

OK YES THEY ARE ALSO MY FAVORITES

i dont think ive written it down anywhere but the way they meet is like. roughly a month after freya arrives to the train and has befriended isel she keeps hearing the name of this one guy show up and is like alright im gonna figure out who olzhas is. she spends like an entire day just scaling the entire perimeter of the train until she locates em in the midst of renovating eir restaurant and just like stands outside waiting saying nothing. and olzhas seemingly doesnt notice so she just keeps coming by and standing outside for like a week till e's like hey you can come in you know.

and from then on the two start to talk and freya's like. trying to figure out what this guy's deal is because e keeps being mentioned in the context of isel but isel himself just does not want ANYTHING to do with em and olzhas detects this thought with eir clairvoyance and just like. resignedly explains the entire matter of the two's divorce and then is like wow that felt great to talk about. freya's kind of just amused by everything and is like alright. kind of want to put this man under a microscope

freya just starts to visit eir place more and more frequently to the point where it becomes a daily thing.... theyve taken up the habit of having dinner together notably and just generally discussing whatever the fuck. like the major thing between them is just idle chat and forming inside jokes and its all just very leisurely and relaxed between the two of them

eventually after a few conversations about olzhas' telepathic powers (which freya finds very very cool.) e's like hey do you want to try out connecting our thoughts its basically like a secret way to talk. freya (fan of talking and fan of secrets) is immediately willing to try it out and thats basically the basis for the two always being psychically connected. uhh they just get like a full repertoire of one anothers thoughts and emotions and evidently it lead to their understanding of one another getting rounded out VERY quickly, theyre both very familiar with one anothers state of mind and can be super sensitive to any discomfort which has both lead to some interesting stories the two've talked out and also them quickly figuring out precise ways to help one another calm down and whatnot

and honestly its very important for freya shes very shy very anxious about talking to new people in general even if she conducts herself in a kinda grandiose whimsical manner. and shes gotten better about it since then but like her befriending olzhas was a fucking anomaly and it was a very lucky one. over time shes become more outspoken and confident just because those traits of eirs rubbed off on her and conversely olzhas started to gain both a better sense of responsbility and a better sense of joviality because of her.

more broadly speaking i just like their dynamic because its like.... sooooo fucking funny to me conceptually freya's strongest friendships being ones with two divorced men who hate each other so bad but theyd both drop dead for her because shes so endearing. and with these two in particular they're just complete gadflies but olzhas is very blunt and morose and freya has this cheery friendly air about her. but also olzhas is arguably the more levelheaded the one more willing to help others the one who acts objectively, freya contrarily can be extremely self-oriented and willing to disregard consequence or others feelings for the sake of her own wants and needs.... HOWEVER they care about one anothers wellbeing so bad and they know one another inside out and kind of just know how to approach one anothers shortcomings. they balance one another out and its like easy for them to confront one another.... theres this weird mutual elegance and understanding that actually makes it so that they each find it fun to 'argue' because they know it comes from a good place and no matter what theyll hear one another out. at the same time theyre so in tune with one another that it can become insular and they can appear very strange or mean to any onlookers. idk their discrepancies and double standards in the context of how they act as a duo is so charming to me its my favorite thing to write about