#its very bizarre too. so much water imagery. what does it mean...

[singersalvageshop]

i know some johnlock truthers love season 4 but im sorry. im trying so hard to keep an open mind but i just can't find it in myself to like this season

[star-consultant]

Bright are the stars

You need a Beatle song that perfectly encapsulates your sign? Of course you do. (Spotify playlist) 

Aries—“I Saw Her Standing There” 

One two three FOUR! An eager and intense song for an eager and intense sign. Aries falls hard and fast, with a tendency to rash vows that everyone doubts they mean—but Aries doesn’t doubt. Paul (who later styled himself as a "ram” at a key point in his creative development) makes good on the Cardinal Fire vibe with his exuberant vocals, and John of the Aries rising contributed the street-smart innuendo that utterly makes the song: And you know what I mean. Fittingly, this song kicked off the group’s first album, which itself has plenty of Aries “HELLO I AM HERE TO MAKE A MARK ON YOUR WORLD! (like me plz ok? this is my heart and i am Doing My Best??)” energy. 

Taurus—“All I’ve Got to Do"

A song that takes its sweet time but burrows deeper than the average ear-worm into your consciousness. It’s a patient song that is unassuming but knows exactly what the hell it’s doing. The intensity builds bit by bit, so that you’re unaware when the power of the bridge comes crashing down. Describes the Taurean romantic ideal: lazy, loyal, cozy, constant, tender, and ever-so-true. Also, “All I’ve Got to Do” is featured on the second album, With the Beatles, which has plenty of other Bullish touches, noticeable even with a casual glance at the tracklist: “Don’t Bother Me,” “Not a Second Time,” and “Money (That’s What I Want).” 

Gemini—“She Loves You”

Paul is a Gemini Sun, and throughout his catalogue it shows. But perhaps he never topped the Twinniness of this energetic, optimistic, breathless, gossipy classic. It was composed “eye-to-eye” with John, a truly dual-authored song, and one the rare Beatles numbers where the two lead vocalists double up on every single line, in true (Nerk) Twin fashion. Also the first but definitely not the last of their many “third-person narratives,” Paul’s novelistic instead of confessional slant being distinctly a Gemini thing. The speaker in this one couldn’t be more enthusiastic about this relationship if it were already repaired, and he couldn’t be more enthusiastic about it if it were his. Love is great! People reconciling is great! You should be glad, dumbass! But the real corker? What makes this so Gemini that it hurts? Yoko has confirmed that in the early 70s, during her separation with John, she actually had Paul play agony aunt. Then, during that meetup in L.A. where they were last photographed together, Paul urged John to “apologize to her” and get back together... which he did. That’s right. "She Loves You” is not merely a Gemini’s song: it’s a Gemini’s life. 

Cancer—“Octopus’s Garden”

Ringo the Crab’s musically-complex fantasy about an underwater sanctuary where children are “happy and safe,” he and his lover can be together, and there’s “no one there to tell us what to do.” George (a triple Water sign himself, probably not-so-incidentally) always insisted that his best mate’s song Had Depths, and he himself supplied a lot of them: check out his lead guitar lines. They function as emotional counterpoint. When Ringo’s vocal line is especially wistful, the guitar is bright; when Ringo ends on a confident note, the guitar is quirky, ironic, even stiff-upper-lip pessimistic. Result: a shifting kaleidoscope of FEELS. The Moon approves. 

Leo—“Good Day Sunshine” 

Paul perfectly expresses his own Leo moon with a sublime, vibrant ode to laughter, love, and pride on a cloudless summer day. The bit in the lyrics about she knows she’s looking fine and I’m so proud to know that she is mine? That’s not marring the high tone of the song: that is part of the tone. Hear us roar! And by “roar” I mean "laugh and canoodle, coz Leo is about living the good life, bitches.” 

Virgo—“Please Please Me” 

What’s fair is forkin’ fair, mate! A exemplary blend of Virgo’s Mutable passive-aggressive sensitivity with its Elemental directness... half-critical, half-begging... plus the very sign-typical humblebragging. About their sexual prowess. Damn, Virgo. People forget how Earthy you really are sometimes. But here we are. In very Virgo fashion, instead of ditching the girl he’s decided to harangue her. On a more meta note, the Beatles were still studio virgins when they first began crafting this song, and it took several passes and incorporation of George Martin’s feedback before it became the bursting pop hit as we know it now. There’s that Virgo work ethic paying off.

Libra—“Strawberry Fields Forever”

The imagery of the title suggests an eternal harvest. But the star sign resemblance goes deeper than that: Always, no, sometimes think it’s me, but, you know, I know when it’s a dream. I think, er, no, I mean, er, yes, but it’s all wrong... that is, I think I disagree. Did you just hear your Libra roommate rambling after a joint, or did you listen to verse three of “Strawberry Fields”? Same difference. The song is absolutely lovely, as anything associated with the child of Venus should be, and innovative, as befits a Cardinal sign. Most of all, even in all of Libra Sun John’s weighing and weed-wandering, he knows one thing: he’s got to take someone else along with him. A companion, stat! 

Scorpio—“While My Guitar Gently Weeps”

George of the Scorpio moon and Scorpio ascendant had to really lean into this side of his nature to even get this damn track properly recorded. He resorted to the social power play of inviting Eric frickin’ Clapton into the tense post-India studio just to get Lennon, McCartney, and Martin to give his song proper Beatle recording magic. Which it deserved. The dark drama of the hard-won arrangement is the perfect Scorpio accompaniment to the moody, reflective lyrics about “all the love there that’s sleeping” in this weary world. There’s tender, horrified pity here for those who are stifled into inauthenticity: I don’t know how nobody told you how to unfold your love. I don’t know how someone controlled you; they bought and sold you... Bonus points for the Watery ‘just can’t even’-ness of not being able to so much as pick up a damn broom. 

Sagittarius—“Something” 

You’re asking me, will my love grow? I don’t know, I don’t know! A deeply instinctual lover knows that Cupid has done hit a bullseye. He remains emphatically ambivalent about the future, but he knows what he feels in this moment, and in that moment is romance and wonder that is as deep as the earth is from the heavens. Sags are intense, but of all the Fire signs they are most far-seeing and detached (due to their Mutable quality, which makes them see the world a bit more like an Air sign does). “Something” keeps trying to capture that je-ne-sais-quoi, and despite the speaker’s happiness he can’t help but circle back again and again to take another shot at that the mental target. A philosopher even when in love. Ultimately, however, he doesn’t want to leave her now... which for a restless Sag is already saying a ton.

Capricorn—“Revolution”

John let his unfashionable midheaven Capricorn off the leash with this blunt, pointed savaging of radical and violent revolutions. (Given the tanks on Tiananmen Square and the millions dead on the killing fields of Cambodia, I can’t say that his cautionary note about “destruction” and “minds that hate” was unnecessary.) Few things are more Capricorn than ‘Oh, you want my money? Yeah, first show me that you’ve done your fucking homework, mate.’ Bonus Earth points for the fact that he somehow worked sex—a lot of sex—into this political track. 

Aquarius—“Come Together”

John of the Aquarius moon’s decidedly loony attempt to write a political campaign song in order to stop Reagan. (The result was too weird for Timothy Leary, whose reaction was pretty much ‘wtf? I don’t think even I have enough residual acid in my system for this one... ’) John invokes the ideal of collaboration, but his call to solidarity is built around fantastical lyrics that no one can comprehend: He wear no shoeshine, he got/Toejam football, he got/Monkey finger, he shoot/Coca-Cola, he say/I know you, you know me... Oh, right. The lyrics contain exactly one discernible message: One thing I can tell you is you got to be free. How Aqua. Also in true collaborative Water-Bearer fashion, the arrangement really makes the song (special mention to the tight, tight work of the rhythm section). Bizarre genius that attracts a true team effort—it doesn’t get much more Aquarius than that.

Pisces— “I Want to Tell You”

The wall of sound builds up thickly enough that soon the words seem to be traveling through the sea to reach you: I want to tell you my head is filled with things to say... But when you’re here, all those words, they seem to slip away. A gorgeously, emotionally tongue-tied song... about being tongue-tied. Written by George, a Pisces Sun, this absolute mystery of a lyric is all emotion and no logic. If he seems to act unkind, it’s only him, it’s not his mind. Okay, Fishboy. Good thing the track is compellingly lovely and utterly relatable. Which suits the Pisces life exactly: ‘I don’t know what I mean, but it’s exceedingly beautiful and I want you to share it with you very, very much.’ 

[thewatsonbeekeepers]

Chapter 5 – Hey, Soul Sister: Who is Eurus?

Do you get it? She’s his sister? But metaphorically, she’s a part of his soul? I was very impressed with myself for this title. Anyway…

This chapter of the meta is going to deal with the various times we meet Eurus before TFP and what this might mean, which will help us to understand who she is once we have stripped off the disguises.

Before series 4, we had real!characters and MP!characters set up as distinct entities, particularly in TSoT, which distinguishes between MP!Mycroft (the deducing brain) and real!Mycroft, as well as MP!Irene representing desire and real!Irene, who doesn’t come near the episode. The MP section in TSoT, for a lot of people in the fandom, broke down Sherlock’s psyche into MP!John vs. MP!Mycroft – and John is clearly winning.

However, I want to suggest that Sherlock’s psyche isn’t nearly so straightforward as a tug of war between the brain and the heart. Whilst MP!Mycroft undoubtedly represents the oppressively reasonable part of Sherlock’s psyche, that’s not the only thing repressing him – it can’t be. If it were simply a rejection of ‘sentiment’, this wouldn’t be the powerful queer love story we know it to be – there is a lot more internalised homophobia being dealt with than just love being illogical. That’s where Eurus comes in.

Eurus and Mycroft are parallel oppressive forces in Sherlock’s brain, but they’re oppressive in different ways. Having family members and childhood trauma be the psyche’s symbols for repression is particularly poignant in a queer love story, for obvious reasons. However, I want to take you through my reasoning behind Eurus being the most secret and troubled part of Sherlock’s soul.

The first clue is that her prison is called Sherrinford. We all assumed that the third Holmes sibling was going to be Sherrinford back before s4, and it seemed that way in the beginning, with Mycroft mentioning speaking to Sherrinford several times, construing it as a person rather than a place. This is no coincidence – for those who aren’t familiar with the history of the stories, Conan Doyle’s original name for his protagonist was Sherrinford Holmes, which he later changed to Sherlock. That Eurus is trapped inside Sherrinford is a clear suggestion that Eurus is something that’s trapped inside Sherlock – a dangerous MP entity. More important than that, Sherrinford is the version of Holmes that never made it into the books. Plenty of people have worked on queering the Holmes canon and working out what ACD might have been implying and leaving out and arguably none more so in an adaptation that Mofftiss. Let’s think about the implications of this. A kind of second self, not shown to the public, buried inside your mind and forgotten since childhood, which is bursting out into a moment of acute psychological distress. Gee, I don’t know what that could be about. The Sherlock that Sherlock thinks he is has thus far been dominated by MP!Mycroft, but this series is about uniting canon!Holmes with the non-canon, queer Sherrinford who has always existed, judging by the name, and who is currently dominated by the destructive MP!Eurus. The other important point to note here is that Sherrinford is an island in the middle of the sea – that’s not a coincidence, given how much water imagery abounds in this series. I spoke briefly in Chapter 2 X about how water represents Sherlock sinking deeper and deeper into his own subconsciousness – this is the deepest he can go. In Greek mythology, Eurus was the name of the wind most associated with causing storms at sea X – this isn’t a coincidence either. She’s very deliberately tied in with water.

(In real life terms, of course, all this means that a real!Eurus probably does or did exist in some form, although I can’t begin to hazard a guess about this. However, I’m trying to refer to her as MP!Eurus when she’s in her normal form in the MP, in case we get a series 5 with Sian Brooke as real!Eurus, and also to distinguish her from therapist!Eurus etc.)

This is my reasoning as to why MP!Eurus represents Sherlock’s innermost trauma. She is not merely the fact that he loves John – he deduced this in TSoT without her appearance. She is the trauma that he needs to come to terms with. A running theme through our analysis of Eurus will be that her gender is particularly important; her representation of Sherlock’s repression cannot be but as a woman, because for most of s4 he is only able to process his identity through the most heterosexual of lenses. We see this hinted at quite early on in TST, when Sherlock takes on a case called ‘The Duplicate Man’, warning John that it is never twins. The word ‘duplicate’ here, removing twins, leaves us with the only real possibility that it is in fact the same person. Eurus’s gender makes that more difficult to see; she needs to be female, but it’s much more difficult to elide the two characters without employing a Cumberbatch doppelganger. However, this hint that Eurus is not only male but an actual ‘duplicate’ of her brother should give us pause for thought. With this in mind, I want to use the rest of this chapter to analyse her three forms before TFP.

1.)    Faith!Eurus

I’m certainly not the first to point out that Faith!Eurus is a mirror for John, nor will I be the last – people jumped on it pretty much as soon as TLD aired. There are a few good reasons for this. Firstly, she walks with a cane, a throwback to ASiP – in case we’d forgotten, however, Sherlock has a flashback to John walking with a cane to make the link explicit. We are supposed to link these two characters, the authors are saying pretty clearly. Faith!Eurus is also suicidal, which John was at the start of ASiP, as made clear by the fact he carried a gun – and Faith!Eurus does the same. Sherlock also takes her out for food (for more on the food/sex metaphor, see here X) which he doesn’t with anyone bar John, and we certainly never see him talk so easily with someone who isn’t John. An eagle-eyed tumblr post that I can’t find now also broke my heart in pointing out that Faith!Eurus’s unseen self-harm matches long-sleeved John Watson a little too well.

This isn’t just the show trying to remind us of what John was like in ASiP, however. MP!Eurus is the trauma prodding Sherlock’s sexuality – it’s going to be hell to get through it, but he absolutely needs to do it. This is Sherlock’s trauma, not reminding him that John was suicidal, but forcing him to acknowledge it in the first place, something which Sherlock has buried. We know this because of the way the image of John forces its way into Sherlock’s mind – it’s much like the way Moriarty breaks into TAB. His brain is making a connection that he’s not quite capable of making and it’s knocking him. His deduction that Faith!Eurus is suicidal is accompanied by that image of John, and he then re-enacts the food ritual he completed with John the evening John left his cane behind, before throwing Faith!Eurus’s gun into the Thames – proving that it was Sherlock himself who stopped John from taking his own life.

This is trauma, however, and Sherlock can’t process it in full – hence why the image of John that breaks in is shaky, and Sherlock tries to push it out of his head. It’s also why Faith!Eurus, who in Sherlock’s subconscious could take any form, specifically takes the form of a woman. His gay trauma means that he first has to process John’s suicidal ideation in a heterosexual dynamic, before fully grasping and applying it to his relationship with John. (Chapter 9 X explains how that plays out over the rest of TLD in full detail.)

2.)   E!Eurus

Taking a jump back to surface level plot here, the first thing that grabbed me about E!Eurus was just how minor John’s flirtation with her was. In the terms of a television show which really rides on very high drama (multiple faked deaths and insane cliffhangers for a start), the emotional peak of John’s emotional arc with Mary being that he texted another woman – not went out for lunch, not kissed, not slept with – is bizarre, particularly when we know next to nothing about E!Eurus at this point. It’s incredibly anti-climactic as a means of John falling short of Mary’s view of him. Maybe we can accept it as in line with John Moral-Principles Watson, but it’s difficult to accept as in keeping with the nature of a show whose intent is nearly always to shock.

With this in mind, let’s delve back into the MP to see how that might give this moment greater emotional significance. Chapter 10 X is on the hug scene, and that will deal with John’s revelation of his infidelity in greater detail. For the moment, the most important thing to remember is that John Watson is not real!John – he is heart!John. In other words, we are seeing a similarly heterosexualised re-enactment of Sherlock’s relationship with John.

I will talk a lot in Chapter 10 X about how MP!Mary is linked to Sherlock’s compulsory heterosexuality; at the end of TST, Sherlock substitutes Mary’s body for his because he cannot conceive of John’s queer grief without breaking himself. This is interesting because the E of Eurus actually stands for Elizabeth in this scene (certainly in the credits, and possibly elsewhere, although I can’t remember Sian Brooke actually saying it). Elizabeth is Elizabeth is Mary’s middle name in BBC Sherlock, which looks like another of those shared name links our creators love so well. If so, this begins to justify how Sherlock’s heart is conceiving of its emotions. We will see in TLD that heart!John’s relationship with fem!John in the form of Eurus is aligned with Sherlock’s sexual desire in the form of MP!Irene. Both are hidden and exist only in texts – i.e., they cannot be spoken yet. But they will be.

 3.)    Therapist!Eurus

This one is perhaps the most straightforward on a symbolism level, but also possibly the most significant moment in the series. Therapist!Eurus, plain and simple, is Sherlock’s trauma prodding at John, interrogating him like a therapist would, trying to work him out – and largely failing, right? She can get basically nothing about how he feels about Sherlock out of him. But this is part of MP!Eurus’s ongoing project to get Sherlock to wake up – the Gay Trauma is interrogating John, trying to suss him, and failing.

Except, in the final scene of TLD, without the help of Therapist!Eurus, Sherlock has finally sussed John – it has taken until Culverton’s confession to recognise that John is suicidal without Sherlock (Chapter 9 X). The sigh of relief that is the hug scene (Chapter 10 X) is a kind of acknowledgement of that relief that he’s finally worked out what he’s been trying to cover up with drugs – so much so, that he misses the obvious, which is that John is suicidal again. When John leaves his cane with Sherlock in the hospital, it is a reminder of the first time he is suicidal, and Sherlock doesn’t make the immediate leap in his comatose haze that this is what his psyche has been trying to tell him. Hence you have this moment of immense relief and fade out at the end of the hug scene which suggests the end of the episode, and could feasibly end Sherlock’s life, except we’re started awake with a much more abrupt and troubling ending scene – Therapist!Eurus shooting John. Because, of course, if Sherlock is gone again, John must be suicidal again, and it has taken a few scenes of cognitive dissonance for this to clock. Indeed, it’s not Sherlock himself who clocks – Gay Trauma in the form of Eurus!Therapist returns and shoots John for us. This shooting isn’t, of course, permanent (in one of the worst cliffhanger resolutions in TV history), but that’s because it’s not real – it hasn’t happened yet. It is Sherlock, through MP!Eurus, finally recognising the problem – John.

This is particularly poignant in light of the opening and closing shots of TLD. Although there’s the fucky not-blood red that fills the screen at the end of TLD, apart from that the shots of Norbury shooting Mary and Therapist!Eurus shooting John are one and the same shot. It’s also a stylish shot (what I call split screen, but given that I never went to film school I think that’s just my name for it) and it’s repeated enough times over TLD that it’s pretty clear the creatives want it to be memorable. By the time John gets shot, then, we shouldn’t be caught up in the drama of it – we should be thinking, as so many did, “something’s fucky.”

And it is – but it’s brilliantly fucky! Head over to Chapter 7 X if you want to read about Norbury shooting Mary, but TLDR it’s a metaphor for Mary shooting Sherlock as understood from Sherlock’s warped and depressed perspective – and he’s finally realised what it means! The version in which Mary shooting Sherlock means John losing Mary (the Norbury version) is one in which John is sad, goes to therapy, and the world moves on. Now, however, that Sherlock has recognised that John was suicidal, he can also recognise that Mary shooting Sherlock will make John suicidal again – hence why it’s the same shot. Mary shooting Sherlock is the same as John dying – and the latter is much more important in Sherlock’s mind.

[It’s worth noting that the identical shots we see in TST and TLD don’t match the shot in HLV, although admittedly that one’s not in the MP – it does strike me, however, that the sounds are reversed – HLV sounds like a dart, whereas the MP shots sound like bullets. If anyone has any thoughts on that, do let me know – it has me flummoxed for the moment. If you want meta explaining why the shot from TST is the same as HLV, Chapter 7 is here X, and I’m certainly not the first to hypothesise this. For me, the TLD shot being the same is therefore a logical extension.]

[bestworstcase]

what are some of your eldritch horror inspirations?

oh hm lets see

in no particular order: 

my first introduction to the genre was actually a kim possible fanfic series? i remember reading it as a teen and being like woah

the discworld series to an extent? pratchett’s riffs on the genre are excellent, in particular those from later novels in the series eg the summoning dark. (thud! was actually my first discworld novel for some baffling reason and i spent the whole book like “i have no idea what’s going on but i love this” skjdffklshsdk). this has also definitely had an impact on my lean into the more humanist or optimistic end of the scale

gideon the ninth is not eldritch horror per se but hot damn if it doesn’t have some glorious imagery. 

annihilation (the book much moreso than the film, though the film has some nice visuals too). i keep meaning to read the other books in the trilogy but haven’t got around to it yet. the crawler hoo boy 👀👀👀

a pretty large assortment of books and short stories and plays actually. probably too many to list really; not all of them are eldritch horror themselves but anything with the right atmosphere or aesthetic or lore tends to work its way into my brain as an inspiration for my own particular blend of eldritch horror and dark fantasy; as a random selection off the top of my head, poe’s entire oeuvre, the road, the bacchae, euripedes in general actually, pretty much anything that was inspired by the year without a summer lmao, the dragonoak trilogy and sam farren’s work in general... magical realism anything, marisol comes to mind in particular just for its extra closeness to theatre of the absurd... 

this one is a bit silly and honestly mostly just because it’s the Queen Hyperfixation and i will find a way to connect it to every single one of my other interests somehow, but alice’s adventures in wonderland, through the looking glass, and the hunting of the snark have all had a pretty marked influence on my development as a writer and have absolutely contributed to how i approach eldritch horror tropes in my own writing; and also nonsense literature is basically absurdist eldritch horror for children. 

(especially the hunting of the snark, tbh. like go read it now if you haven’t before; it’s a treat and it’s gay and boojums are 100% just your classic eldritch abomination presented through a light-heartedly witty, child-friendly lens.)

relatedly: i love the american mcgee alice games. they riff on some aiw-related tropes that irritate me but idc that much because the atmosphere and aesthetic is just. so good and the gameplay is fun

relatedly again: a blade so black and the subsequent books in the trilogy (one of which isn’t due out until next year i’m suffering) do some really great stuff with nightmares as creatures that are empowered by humanity’s fears and, esp in the second book, the weird mystery of wonderland itself. and is just a neat urban fantasy take on alice in wonderland in general.

pathygen’s work and especially strings has been a big source of inspiration for me in the last, like, eight or nine months since we met. read it.

adhd distractibility has me stalling out in the middle of season 3 of the magnus archives but. yknow. it’s my jam 👌

like, theatre of the absurd and theatre of cruelty? in particular i recall a production of waiting for godot which i saw in college that leaned very hard into a horror-esque reading of the play and that was kind of a game-changer for my own creative outlook; in general these forms of theatre and the experiences they seek to evoke and the narratives they center share a lot of emotional overlap with the experience of good eldritch horror and, like aiw, have had a significant influence on my writing generally.

darkest dungeon is really fun and has a great aesthetic and strikes exactly the right balance between bleak and hopeful. the crimson court dlc especially was a total game-changer for how i think about vampires because holy shit

it’s not eldritch horror per se but subnautica is like. its ability to provoke dread is second only to the trial of blindness in hellblade (which is also def an inspiration, though again not eldritch horror per se. the enemy designs are really good tho) and the creature designs and lore are super cool and it does an excellent job of of getting across that... feeling of being insignificant in a vast uncaring cosmos (or in this case: ocean planet infected with virulent water-borne bacteria) and that’s enough to make it like, eldritch horror-adjacent in my mind.

tyranny is? another odd one in that it isn’t eldritch horror by any stretch of the imagination but idk. there’s something about the lore surrounding the archons and the spires + oldwalls that speaks to me and i love that so much of it is simply left unexplained. not in a way that feels half-assed or like the lore wasn’t well thought out, but rather in a way that truly gets across the feeling of an ancient civilization whose culture and magic/technology have decayed and been suppressed to the point of being completely lost by the time of the game; that’s a hard balance to strike and it’s totally my jam. 

my gf got me into pathologic and i am veeeery slowly playing my way through the original game rn and holy shit. holy shit. the atmosphere and the slowly unfolding lore and increasingly bizarre plague itself and the despair and the grind it’s all so good.

i still need to actually play bloodborne, it’s been on my list forever, but every image and video i’ve ever seen is. hoo boy. hoooooo boy. 

and honestly??? growing up as a very non-spiritual person in an evangelical family i think definitely predisposed me toward this genre because, idk. god as presented by evangelical christians is an eldritch abomination and i don’t have the spiritual inclination to convince me otherwise. so that’s something i draw from a bit as well lol

also as a final note i think it’s v important when talking about eldritch/cosmic/lovecraftian horror and inspirations thereof to say that hp lovecraft (and many of the contemporaries of his who participated in the expanded/shared universe we now call the cthulhu mythos) was virulently racist and xenophobic and this absolutely had an impact on his creative work. they codified this genre and that means that racism and xenophobia is kind of baked in to a lot of the basic tropes and they must be very rigorously, very critically evaluated when we use them to create new fiction. 

[twentiethcenturymoviesandtv]

Carnival of Souls: Facets of Film

The chief difference between watching a movie and reading a book is that in one, you have to make up your own visuals (unless you’re reading a picture book), and in the other, you get to see someone else’s visuals.  This can be either an advantage or a disadvantage, and the difference is made entirely thanks to the production team.

The people behind the camera who make the film work have quite a job on their hands.  Once the parts have been cast, the script written, and the locations selected, all that’s left to do is absolutely everything else, ensuring that the project is suitable for release.  And of course, as you probably know, this isn’t exactly a cakewalk.

A lot goes into making a movie into a movie.  There’s set design, music, camerawork and editing, costuming, performances, special effects, and it all has to come together in a consistent way that’s genuinely entertaining.  It is these elements, these ‘facets of film’, that can take a movie with great characters and a good script, and turn it into an unforgettable masterpiece.  This is the segment of filmmaking that lends us the unforgettable score of Jaws, the unbelievable visuals of Blade Runner, and the fantastic camerawork of The French Connection.  This is the storytelling shorthand that makes a movie memorable, that helps give the audience all of the information they need to have without spelling it all out in dialogue.

The mark of a truly great filmmaker is one who knows how to use these aspects of ‘storytelling shorthand’ well, not simply competently.  It is this movie-maker who understands the elements of his movie, and knows their places.  Too often, the mistake is made of focusing the film’s time and energy in the wrong place: the trimmings, instead of the tree.  It’s a common error, one that becomes more and more obvious as the range for special effects increases.  The temptation to put the focus on how a movie looks and sounds takes over, and before we know it, the movie that we’re watching becomes more concerned with being a huge, visual blockbuster extravaganza.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a huge, visual, blockbuster extravaganza.  It’s these types of movies that make movie history, movies like Jurassic Park, Star Wars, or Back to the Future.  But those movies all had something in common: a balance.

In the movies listed above, in the best movies, the visual storytelling doesn’t overshadow the story it’s trying to tell.  Even more subtle films like Casablanca use their camerawork extremely effectively, without making it the point of the movie.  In short, the trimmings of film are there to accentuate, methods used to tell the story in the most effective, and best looking way possible, without losing sight of the point: the characters and story.

It is those elements that we’re going to be examining today, figuring out the answer to a question: Does Carnival of Souls use its ‘facets of film’ wisely?

Let’s take a look, starting with an element that can occasionally be overlooked: the camerawork.  (Possible spoilers below!)

A camera in the hands of a competent director looks good.  Unremarkable, but good.  It is when it is in the hands of someone who knows what they’re doing that elevates it into something remarkable, using angles, lighting, and different shots to capture the look of what the director is looking for.

As it turns out, the camerawork of Carnival of Souls is one of its best features.

The camerawork in Carnival of Souls is utilized very cleverly.  Director Herk Harvey knew how to use a camera to heighten the sense of the uncanny, using shadows and close-ups to capture the eerie atmosphere that hangs over the entire movie.  The camera is alternatively uncomfortably close and far away, letting the audience experience Mary’s terror and isolation.  Add onto that the brilliant use of unconventional angles to frame our protagonist, and we’ve got ourselves a really interesting series of shots.

There are a few examples that stand out more than others, of course.  Especially interesting is the imagery of Mary at the organ, looked down upon by the audience as she plays in the center of a web of instrument, almost swallowed up.  Another excellent example is any of the scenes involving Mary’s visions.  The shots of the undead rising from the water to twirl in the pavilion are eerie, creepy, and weird, only further emphasized by the off shots of Mary’s ghoulish doppelganger.

Also of note (and my personal favorite) is the near-dizzying shot-reverse-shot of Mary, looking down the staircase at the boarding house, and spotting The Man on the ground floor, looking up at her with that Slasher Smile.  It’s a legitimately chilling moment, only heightened by the brilliant use of the camera, intensifying the close-up.

Of course, camerawork alone doesn’t set a mood.  The music has quite a lot to do with it as well.

The soundtrack for Carnival of Souls is extremely simple: it’s organ music.  Fittingly enough, as that’s Mary’s profession, and it enables her to take part of the soundtrack.  It almost plays a part in the story, first haunting her radio so only creepy organ music is playing, and then seemingly possessing her as she plays a wild, weird song on the church instrument, accompanying the visions she’s seeing of the undead in the pavilion.

Of course, there are also times where there is no music at all.

The scenes where Mary explores the abandoned pavilion are rather quiet, silent so that the audience can hear the strange noises at the same time that Mary does.  This emphasizes, again, that ‘off’ feeling, increasing the audience’s awareness of the ‘uncanny’.  The eerie music, paired with the creepy, surrealist visuals, make a chilling combination, further heightened by the sets and makeup.

There isn’t much ‘memorable’ where sets are concerned for this film.  The film was shot on location, with the buildings left as they were.  Even the pavilion was an actual abandoned Mormon dance hall that director Herk Harvey found.  The way these settings are shot definitely heightens the scare-factor, as the locations are typically rather sparsely populated in the film, and often filmed to accentuate the shadows that increases the creep-factor of the film’s mood as a whole.  

Of course, it helps if what’s in the setting is just as creepy as the setting itself.  Luckily, the makeup artists knew how to make a movie monster on a budget.

Unlike the masterpieces like the Frankenstein monster or the Wolf-Man from Universal’s golden horror years, there’s not a whole lot to The Man’s appearance, or the appearance of the army of the undead.  They look like our traditional zombies: pale faced, black-eyed, and awkward moving, nothing if not persistent.  Ironically, Carnival of Souls pre-dates most zombie movies by a good handful of years, and in fact was the primary inspiration for George A. Romero’s zombie-codifier: Night of the Living Dead, which came out six years later.  Naturally, this means that Carnival of Souls must have been doing something right.

It was.

There’s a reason the ‘zombie look’ so familiar now is so iconic, and that’s because it works.  Carnival of Souls hit that perfect balance of human and not, adding to the gothic look of the film.  The result is a genuinely odd-looking menace, albeit one without much in personality.

All of these features come together to create something legitimately important in the realm of filmmaking: a great look.

One of the ways that a film can truly stick out among the thousands is having a truly distinct look, and in that, Carnival of Souls succeeds.  Taking a page out of The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari’s book, the bizarre angles, weird music, and uncanny staging and sense of isolation truly emphasizes the surrealist horror of the film, making an otherwise okay film truly memorable.  Even without any special effects to speak of (besides the makeup, again, this movie was extremely inexpensive), the visual style of this movie almost seems like an arthouse film, helping it to stand out among the hundreds of horror films made before and since.  Every shot and every note of music is all pointing to one thing: something is not right.  Mary Henry never has to express this aloud to the audience, because we already know, from all of these hints, that the atmosphere is tense, that she should be frightened.

But there’s more to a movie’s ‘storytelling shorthand’.  All of the atmosphere in the world doesn’t do you any good unless it’s paired with some compelling performances.

Candace Hilligoss was the only professional actress in the entire cast, and it shows.  That may sound harsh, but not only is it true, it’s actually not a bad thing.  The slightly ‘off’ acting of most of the other performers really adds to that sense of uncanny, the sensation that something is wrong.  It also has the added bonus of further making Mary seem out of place, isolated, as though she is not welcome and does not belong.  It’s an extremely striking effect, off putting in the best ways.

As for Candace Hilligoss herself?  Honestly, she does an extremely admirable job.

Hilligoss is the centerpiece of this movie, capturing the audience with her wildly swinging performance.  Without much personality to work with, she portrays an unnatural character held at a distance from the rest of reality, alternating between being detached and alone, and terrified of the isolation, and of visions pursuing her.  In hindsight, the twist that Mary is dead makes a lot of sense, and a lot of it is thanks to Hilligoss’s masterful acting, lending an unforgettable Haunted Heroine performance to an otherwise bland character.

Every element utilized in this quirky little film comes together perfectly to elicit the desired emotions from the audience: discomfort, unease, and fear, which is very much the point.  Without much of a budget or access to materials that made other horror films unforgettable, the crew behind Carnival of Souls worked with what they had to create a genuinely disturbing surrealist horror film, full of clever scares to please any horror fan.  The sum is truly greater than the parts, fitting together to make up this cult horror classic that’s been remembered fondly, albeit a little late, for several years, and will continue to be remembered for several more.

Thank you guys so much for reading!  Don’t forget that the ask box is always open for questions, suggestions, discussions, or just saying hi!  Join us next time where we’re going to be discussing the behind-the-scenes story of Carnival of Souls in ‘Facets of Filmmaking’.  I hope to see you there!

[jeremys-blogs]

OTGW: What is the Unknown?

Though I've always had a love of the aesthetic of Halloween, the ghosts, the pumpkins and all that stuff, I'll fully admit that I've never really had that many Halloween traditions, at least not to the degree that I would for a time like Christmas. When this spookiest time of year creeps along, it's usually just me watching a few old favourites that seem appropriate for it, like the Halloween Tree or Scooby Doo on Zombie Island. But a few years ago, I stumbled on a little gem on Cartoon Network that has since become an absolute must for the month of October. The 2014 ten-episode miniseries, Over the Garden Wall. This show has rightfully gained a great deal of critical acclaim since it first came out, being regarded as one of the best shows Cartoon Network ever put out, which is saying something. The strange journey of Wirt and his brother Greg through the mysterious world of the Unknown as they attempt to find their way home was creepy and engaging in a way that few kids' shows were, and make no mistake, I loved every single bit of it. But while I could gush about it all day, what I truly wish to discuss about it is the question of its central locale. What, exactly, is the Unknown itself?

You see, from the moment I first watched this show, its main setting has always fascinated me. This bizarre other world where magic and monsters exist, yet contains far too many elements of the ordinary and the mundane to be as fantastic as other fictional worlds I've seen. A place where young girls can be controlled by mystical bells, yet also had old-timey schools run by seemingly-ordinary teachers. It's a weird one to be sure, and a lot of the show's feel can be attributed to the sheer mystery of the Unknown itself. Now, I am by no means the first person to speculate on what this place really is, and indeed you'll find that the show in general has been picked apart by numerous others over the years. So don't be surprised if you see ideas here that have been discussed in greater detail elsewhere. But while I fully acknowledge that the nature of the Unknown isn't really what the show is about, nor does it ever try to give any definitive answers about it, there are at least enough things in the story to give some idea of what we're dealing with, most notably in the big question on whether or not the Unknown is actually a real place, though I'll discuss that later.

Now the first of these ideas is pretty straightforward. The Unknown is simply a magical alternate world that Wirt and Greg somehow managed to transport themselves to after falling into the water. A gateway to another realm, like the wardrobe of Narnia. Admittedly, this isn't a very complicated or revolutionary notion, but the law of Occam's Razor is that the most likely explanation is usually the correct one, and the simple framework of children going to a magical place beyond the normal world is about as basic as you get in these sorts of tales. But simplicity in and of itself is no bad thing, as it provides a good foundation to build great stories on. And that's certainly the case here, as having the Unknown just be some world the brothers could journey to after their traumatic fall is a fine start to give old-school fairy tale and folk story episodes for. It's solid urban fantasy of the unreal hiding just beyond the world of the real, that just so happens to be pierced and entered by these two unwitting boys. It might not be the most imaginative of explanations for what this place is, but I think it was worth getting the easiest explanation out of the way first.

The second major theory on what the Unknown is might be less extraordinary, but it's also an incredibly plausible one, that being that the entire experience is just one big hallucination. That one or both of the brothers, but most likely Wirt, was knocked unconscious by the aforementioned fall into the water and the entire journey was all the creation of his own mind. Now, I realise that the trope of "it was all just a dream all along" isn't exactly a popular one, but let us not forget that plenty of other popular stories have managed to portray it well, like Alice and Wonderland. And to the credit of this show, if that was indeed the angle being worked then it was certainly an interesting way to view it. The biggest hint that this is the case is that much of what we see in the Unknown has to deal with people donning alternate identities to what they truly are, hiding their real selves, which would be an appropriate thing for a boy like Wirt to make up in his head given that he and his brother had just come off from a mass Halloween experience, where costumes and taking on fantasy personas are commonplace. To be sure, there's some ambiguity on whether Greg has the same experience as Wirt if it is indeed a hallucination, but there's no denying that the possibility of it being the work of imagination is there.

The final of the major ideas concerning the Unknown is that it is some sort of afterlife for the two boys. Specifically, that it's a kind of Limbo, between Heaven and Hell, where they must overcome some trial or work through some personal issue before they can move on. To me, this is the theory that seems to hold the most water, as it is only through working past their personal issues, like Wirt learning to be responsible for Greg, that the two manage to get back home. And when you couple that with things like the show's antagonist, the Beast, a clearly demonic-inspired tempter who leads people to their doom, there's definitely some religious undertones here. The fact that the Unknown is a place they only go to after going through an experience that could have killed them certainly adds to this. Consider also that throughout the show we get a gradual transition from an Autumn-like environment to the Winter we see in the final few episodes, a sign of things dying, perhaps to show the boys losing their way and going down the wrong path. Contrast with the likes of the Woodsman, who made a deal with this effective Devil and, as a result, got stuck in a terrible situation for who knows how long, trapped in his own personal Hell.

What gives this particular interpretation a great deal more weight is the inclusion of the show's third major character, the human-turned-bird Beatrice. Now, her being here is very likely to be a reference to the character of the same name from the famed story the Divine Comedy by Dante, better known as Dante's Inferno. Within that tale, Beatrice is the lost love of the book's central protagonist, and acts as a guide to him after he leaves the realm of Limbo and finally makes it into heaven. And since the Beatrice in this story also serves as a guide to those who are no longer within their own world, the connection is pretty easy to make. Granted, there are differences, like how the Unknown is no Heaven and that this particular Beatrice is in no way romantically involved with Wirt, but the general role she plays is far too similar to ignore, and lends massive credence to the theory that the Unknown is indeed a Limbo of some sort. But again, since Wirt is the poetic sort, it could also be that he knew of the literary Beatrice and, if this was the hallucination scenario instead, imagined her along with everything else without even realising he was doing it. Because naturally this sort of thing just couldn't be clear-cut for me.

As you can see from all of this, there's a lot that can be interpreted and theorised about the world of Over the Garden Wall. And really, you could probably take any single episode and create an entire thesis of what all the imagery and characters might mean, it's just that sort of show. As for the central question here of the nature of the Unknown, I don't think it's something we're ever going to get a proper answer to, and anyone watching it will likely have to come up with their own conclusions about it. As for me personally? Well, I've been of one school of thought or another over the last few years since I first watched this underrated gem, but if you were to hold a gun to my head and ask me to pick one and be done with it, I'd likely go for the Limbo theory. Mostly because it seems to strike the perfect balance between being both a fine fantasy idea as well as having just the right level of grimness and macabre for a story like this. After all, for a cartoon that aimed and succeeded to be a Halloween classic, what better scenario to give us that a world found within the place between life and death? 😉

[feuilly-cakes]

The Maze Runner (series) - review

Buckle up, this is going to be a long one. My thoughts on the series as a whole is that it’s an alright one, and you’ll soon see why the praise isn’t higher there. I’ll go book by book with my thoughts on each, so you can know exactly the way my feelings progressed to this point.

Book 1: The Maze Runner - 5*

I gave this book a 5 star rating, but honestly it's been nearly 2 months since then and I'm still not sure on that rating. Ideally, 5 stars for me means I got so attached to the characters I cried or had some other emotion, but that didn't happen here. Instead, I got a fantastic plot with a ton of mystery and a lot of terror, all with amazing writing but uninteresting characters. I won't say they are flat characters, because they aren't, but I didn't really feel a connection with them. There is only so much you can relate to a character who has no history.

Thomas is obviously the main character and so we see everything from his perspective, and we do see his emotions, his personality, his struggle. He spends a good portion of the book confused, angry, sad, frustrated. He's not a flat, boring character by any means, but for some reason I just didn't feel that connection I usually do with main characters. Maybe it's a side effect of the third person limited narration, or maybe he just isn't a character I can relate to, but I wasn't really interested emotionally in his character. I didn't need to be really, because the plot more than made up for it.

When it comes to the plot, I found no faults. It was fast paced and had me asking questions the whole way through, and most of them even got answered. Most of the questions pertained to how the Maze worked; How was it so high up that the box rose for half an hour? What was really around The Cliff and how were they seeing stars below them? How did the walls move? Was it actually indoors or not and how would that even work anyway? I love when I’m constantly asking questions and coming up with theories while reading, and this book was one huge question mark. Just the memories plot alone had me on the edge of my seat, and I wanted to know more.

If you only read books for the characters and their personal arcs, this might be a bit weak on that for you. If you love a good mystery mixed in with a bit of horror and sci-fi elements, plus a dash of dystopia (which I’m sure will become a big dollop in the next book) then this is absolutely the best thing to read. It’s definitely a 5 star quality, just in my personal opinion not a 5 star emotion.

Book 2: The Scorch Trials - 3*

Honestly, this was not anywhere near as enjoyable as the first book. Technically speaking it was a well written book, but personally I didn’t find it great, simply okay - average. Enjoyable to an extent but irritating to a certain degree. I kept reading because I expected something to be answered but all I got was confused. After watching all the films and powering through the first book I genuinely expected so much more from this and I was let down.

It’s darker and more gory than the first book, with some shocking scenes that kept me going. I did appreciate all the dream flashbacks from Thomas that helped put together what exactly he had to do with the Maze. Outside of these dreams I just didn’t know what was going on half the time and I felt frustrated by it all. His backstory was legit the only reason I was interested at all. I didn’t really care where they were going or their journey, l just wanted to know about his missing memories.

I understand this one was to set up the world a bit more and go into character development, but this was the most mediocre of middle book syndrome books. I can honestly say here I preferred the film.

Book 3: The Death Cure - 4*

Oh boy with this one. I have a very immediate reaction with lots of spoilers here on my goodreads if anyone wants to see that, but I'll summarise with the good spoilery bits cut out.

Well, my brain hurts.

This book honestly started out kinda meh, with some interesting tidbits thrown in. Then it got less meh, but more disturbing. Whether all of it was really that bad or whether it was bad because of the real world parallels right now I do not know, but I got a little bit messed up by everything that happened in Denver. The worldbuilding became more relevant here, we learn more about the Flare, the way people are living alongside it and/or with it, and the way Cranks are really treated. We get to find out about The Purge too, which I'll leave as a lovely surprise for those of you who haven't yet read, but what happened and my loud opinions are through that goodreads link if you want entertainment.

And on that note, let's talk Teresa. Full disclosure, I went into this trilogy already loving the films, and I still stand by that love. The treatment of Teresa in those films, however, was abysmal, and to read her actual character arc, well, I was enraged. Her arc in these books is fantastic, and the way she grows and realises the consequences of her actions is actually realistic, especially after all the trauma of the trials. We barely even see her and yet we see most of her character arc in this book. Simply getting her memories back wouldn't make her forget all the horror and go back to Wicked, and the way it was all handled was super satisfying. It does all make me wonder if perhaps she knew about the Brain thing, though. I won't know until I read that prequel story so until then I'll just have to speculate [currently reading that, still don't know]. On a similar note the Chancellor Page storyline was bizarrely different, and I had a shock when we get to interact (?) with her in the capacity we did.

Chapter 56 can choke. I knew it was coming okay, yet it still made me feel like I was punched in the chest. Especially after the previous scenes where we see things happen with a certain character in a scary way.

I can't talk about the Brain thing. It's disturbing to think about and I will be repressing the memory of that whole section of the book as soon as I can. It also kicks off a series of horrifying imagery and tragic events that hurt my emotions. All I can really say is that it's a strong ending to a trilogy, and if you're here you probably got past the travesty that was The Scorch Trials so this book will be a breeze compared to that, just be wary of the medical horror and the horror in general, since it's pretty graphic.

You may notice I haven't discussed Thomas, and that is because I'm too messed up by the Brain thing. The medical horror plus his reaction to the knowledge of what was about to happen knocked me flat emotionally and I may never get past that in terms of these books. No one has ever mentioned the Brain thing in any fan space I've been in, and that's for a good reason. Just know Thomas grew on me slowly just in time to cause me great distress. That is all.

Book 4: The Kill Order - 4*

I kind of loved this book, but as a friend. It basically shows the story of the Flare virus' bad beginnings in the world, with flashbacks to the solar flares that caused all the initial devastation. It was one hell of a page turner. It read like it was just meant to be a film, if you know what I mean. It does stand alone if you don’t read the prologue.

I honestly wasn’t expecting to get quite so many tidbits of information about the actual Flares event itself; to be honest I was expecting this to be a typical zombie kind of story that starts after the beginning and ends before the end, but it actually starts at ground zero on day 1 of the Flare (outside of the control group that is). I thought it was horrifying and fascinating to see how quickly it mutates and the effects changes, and also how the characters react knowing that they’ve probably been exposed to it from the beginning. Seeing the inside of the mind of one the earliest Cranks as they become infected was amazingly interesting after seeing how Newt acted in the Death Cure when he got sick.

The flashbacks to the Solar Flares and its aftermath were just terrifying. The imagery was horrifying and the whole concept of sun flares and then massive floods of boiling hot water put me right on edge even though obviously they were alive at the start of the book. Something that massively surprised me as I read was that the Flare virus had only been around for 13 years before the start of The Maze Runner, and it only took the government 1 year after the solar flares to decide to kill off part of the population. No other dystopian I’ve read can top that level of evilness from governmental systems.

Aside from the horror aspect, I was also mightily confused and a bit amused-but-also-horrified at the cult. If you’ve read it you know. If you haven’t yet then you’ve got a storm coming let me tell you. Although we see in Death Cure that Cranks form mobs with a common purpose and of course they they lose their minds, I wasn’t at all expecting to see an actual cult just casually thrown in. It just adds to the madness of the story and actually fit right in among the other craziness of what went down.

My one question is: is DeeDee Teresa? (She was! It was implied in the next book.)

The reason I didn't rate this higher despite my enjoyment was that it just isn't a book I would reread. It's like an action film or horror film that you really enjoyed and appreciated but won't stick around for too long.

Book 5: The Fever Code: 3* on Goodreads, 2.5* in my heart

This one was a slog to get through. It goes over Thomas' life in Wicked, from the first few days to the day he goes into the maze. I didn't like it very much at all. My biggest problem was the torture of a 4 year old only a few pages in. It ruined the rest of the book for me. My second biggest problem is that we never learn Newt’s name. The betrayal of it all is astounding.

I’ve got to be honest, I was only pushing myself to read this because I wanted to know about the purge. It doesn’t happen until pretty late in the book and nearly everything before that is terribly boring. Everything after that happens pretty quickly.

I appreciated that we get added context to some things that happened in the main trilogy, however, some things that happen take away from the story in a bad way. Dr Paige is one example of this, where in the main trilogy she only appears in a positive context to save Thomas and the other immune, while in this she does some truly evil things behind the scenes unrelated to the context of the trials (or so she tells Thomas. We don’t know how much of that was truth and how much was intended as a Variable but either way it contradicts what we know of her in the Death Cure). The huge reveal at the ending regarding Teresa is also out of nowhere and seems contradictory to the main books. How much of her actions were planned and how much were real? Why would she lead the gladers to escape if she was as this book said she was? Was it a change of mind or was this particular aspect a retcon that wasn’t intended with the original books?

This one felt like an unnecessary addition to the series and I’m disappointed by how it turned out. I expected more and got less. If it hadn’t picked up in the last 150 pages this would’ve been a 2* simply for the disappointment that equalled that of The Scorch Trials. This may be a bit harsh but I do believe the books should have ended after The Kill Order, and the rest be left to the imagination.

To end on a semi-positive note: it turns out The Brain Thing was actually mentioned to them, but it's unclear if Teresa picked up on it, as we know Thomas didn't. It all came out at a very inopportune time while they were killing a crank who knew about it. The Brain Thing isn't positive at all, but I was very excited to learn if they had any inkling and that was sort of answered!

[mipadremadara]

if you don't mind me asking a lot about the fic thing, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8 and 9 (LMAO. all the list😂😂😂) for "Summer Nights"?? I REALLY NEED TO CAUGHT UP!!!! (You obviously can answer telling things about chapters I haven't read, btw, it's okay, haha). And if it's too much, you can answer just a few, hahaha. I'm just really curious because I reallyyyyy love the fic. ILY💖💖

Ahh thank you so much for this ask!!! Every time I get an ask from you my face immediately lights up ahaha. I'm so glad you like the fic??? Ahhhh! Ily too!! I hope you're having a nice day/night! I’ll only do Chapter 1 and 2 for now as to not spoil much! (I’m not sure which chapter you finished on haha.)

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I really really really like stories that just flow. That literally drift. I have no idea how to describe it, but I also love poetry and I thought by kind of incorporating that and a sort of movie vibe to it it'd capture people's hearts the way it haunts mine at night hahaha. 

 2: What scene did you first put down?

It must be the scene where Naruto is sitting outside the porch and looking at the night sky. The title is Summer Nights, after all! It's supposed to hint at the fact that Naruto and Sasuke share the most tender moments at night.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

There's so many that I like tbh!! But here are some of my favorite ones without spoiling too much!!

Chapter 1:

The man knew Sasuke would get rid of every photographic memory of his past and there would be no remaining snapshots of his lifetime left. Behind the everyday smiles and poking around the playgrounds, fairgrounds, Sasuke never dwelled on the topics that resurfaced even the slightest of human, perhaps weak emotions. And so was the shameless irony, pouring out, like vomit. 

I wanted to capture the sense of lingering trauma that still haunts Sasuke everyday. No matter how life seemed to come to a halt, or how things seemed to finally settle down, the pain will always prevail. And in a way, Naruto is the same, even if he masks it well. I feel like this was never truly explained so I wanted to show that they are still hurting; the wounds that were meant to heal only left bitter scars in the end.  

Writing from Sasuke’s POV is always very emotion-centered. I’d imagine Sasuke, as shown in the fic, is a little more open, especially around Naruto. He let his walls down, although not by choice. He had to prove to Konoha he changed, but around Naruto, he can truly be himself.

The Uchiha was all tall, strong arms and long fingers. He fondled them for a passing minute, pressing the raven’s palms against his own. After the War, they grew quite intimate, and really, everyone talked about it. He always looked forward to touching Sasuke, even if it was small, feathery nudges - like holding hands or giving each other small hugs. It reminded him how truly privileged he was to be around him. He savoured those bosom jiffies, and that night was no different.

I really like the fact that their relationship isn’t driven by lust, but more so an understanding. There’s a mutual connection here; two boys going through absolute Hell and finally close to settling down after a rough battle against the odds. No one knows Sasuke the way Naruto does and vice versa, I think it’s quite beautiful actually! Sasuke allowing himself to become intimate again by taking these baby steps, such as touching hands and small hugs, it’s very healing for the both of them! 

They stood still in that bleached moment. The love, the joy; it was burning passionately, bringing nothing but bloom to the cheek; showing no reruns. The smile, he considered a gift.

I just really love this bit. Reading it always makes me so soft haha. I think it sums up their whole relationship perfectly. 

Chapter 2:

Sakura made him feel like an utter imbecile. Like a love-struck damsel in distress.

Here, what Sakura really sees isn’t Naruto, but herself. She knows what it’s like to chase after Sasuke, and as much as she loves the two of them, she doesn’t want Naruto to get hurt. I just think this line was really cool haha. 

People often told Sasuke how he blended into the background while Naruto stood out from the crowd when they were together. Maybe that was why everyone deemed him worthy of being the next in line. They were polar opposites; like warm and cold. Fire and water. They just didn't fit. Supposed everyone told them similar scenarios, but they did not care much about the public and its predetermined ideas of what was right and what wasn't. It was arguably, the most bizarre finger-pointing he had the displeasure of witnessing. But he guessed Naruto loved the attention.

I really like this line, and not just because of the imagery used here, but because it shows how others see Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship. And also, that short dismissive ending paragraph I found to be super effective. 

The other girl, Hinata, made an attempt to lean forward to catch Naruto’s gaze. It was what made everyone lean towards her, too, no less in a charming way that she perhaps knowingly radiated. It caused Ino to take a step back, and Sasuke must’ve stood there for a few moments, listening to the soft mumbling of her lips. They began to ask Naruto questions in low, hushed, thrilling voices as if not to let Sasuke know any of it. He knew the girl had lost her brother during the War (at which he had expressed his deepest sympathy), but he couldn’t shake off the feeling that maybe Naruto was being deceived by her shy persona.

I loved describing Hinata, but not for the reasons you might think. No one aside from Naruto has been described in such detail, but Hinata. It’s to show that Sasuke, since it’s from his POV, considers her to be a competition. He knows she knows that she can easily woo people to do her bidding, and considering her status, Naruto would certainly be charmed. 

Hinata’s own voice held a timid passion behind it; a pleasant, mellow tenor that was very subtle, especially in the way her every uttered word suggested something greater than her face might have unveiled. Her face - on the other hand - was lovely. Caring eyes and a caring mouth conveying nothing but a feeling of fresh honey and lavender. Her hands looked smooth to the touch when she grazed them against Naruto’s rather tacky ones; as if she had never worked a day in her life. He could tell Naruto enjoyed looking at her.

Again, Sasuke knows this persona that Hinata created was quite deceiving and had Naruto wrapped around her finger. That is what he thinks, and as usual, assumes things because Naruto and Hinata are close. I also really like her description here, it radiates such soft vibes haha. 

He marveled in the way his laugh carried throughout the day, forcing even the biggest assholes in the universe to crack a smile.

I really like this line because Sasuke is talking about himself here; that Naruto is always successful at making him smile. 

The attachment to the outside world and the growth of his dubious mind was what made Sasuke overthink certain situations. The way it tangled, twisted, and knotted. He wanted to fondle Naruto's hands, listen to his heartbeat as his eyes grew heavy.

Agape; the sign of unconditional love. For his one and only.

I mean? These lines absolutely slap I think haha. 

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

I didn’t want to add too many so I just included a couple!

Chapter 1:

“You know, if you continue to frown like that, you’ll have lots of wrinkles in the future.”

I just love Sasuke’s attempt at comforting Naruto haha. 

Chapter 2:

“Don’t piss in my ear and tell me it’s raining, Sasuke.”

I just,, love this line so much. It always cracks me up hahaha. And of course, it’s Kakashi’s line. 

5: What part was hardest to write? 

Honestly? Probably the scene where they spar in the third chapter, as well as Gaara and Naruto's reunion! I loved writing it, but having to balance so much dialogue and narration was challenging.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

What makes it special, well, it's my first fanfic! I tried writing one for so long, about 4 years! And being able to finally write something and share it with others feels amazing and so relieving after so long. 

 7: Where did the title come from?

The title came from this song called Summer Nights by Siames! I think it suits Naruto and Sasuke perfectly! It's such a nice song, it always makes me cry when I listen to it haha.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Many, if not all interactions are based on me and my girlfriend's conversations! There are so many and she always points it out to me after reading the newest chapter.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

There was, actually! At first I wanted to write an AU canonverse version of the Akatsuki, where Naruto is exiled from the village and reunites with Sasuke. Because in this house we love evil Naruto and Kurama. But then I wanted to write something soft, something tender yknow? 

Again, thank you so much for asking!!! <3 

[sieben9]

“and they lived…” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

You know. Season finales tend to do a number on me. Show finales, turns out, are even worse.

Or better. Depends on how you want to look at it.

Shouting of various kinds under the cut. And spoilers of various kinds. Also, everybody should watch Wonderland, it’s straight-up excellent.

Ho. Ly. Crap.

This was fantastic. Like, I didn’t have much time to watch this episode, and I thought “well, maybe I can watch ten minutes now to take off the edge of the cliffhanger and watch the rest tomorrow” and nope, I absolutely could not. I mean… how do I love this finale. Let me count the ways:

We have symmetrical storytelling.

We have a thematically appropriate defeat of the villain.

and with a Disney mythology gag thrown in there, as well

We have some tragedy…

…but not pointless tragedy.

We have True Love’s Kiss!

<TLK>

And we have all the Happily Ever After.

Just all of it. This is so good. In thirteen episodes, these characters have been through so much bullshit, and now their story ends in what I’d almost call a “maximally happy” way. (With one exception. I’m getting to that later.)

Apart from all that, we had a zombie army, grand speeches, hilarious banter, and some quality Rabbit Family content. I love it. It’s wonderful. Absolutely no pun intended.

“And this is where Cyrus’s spleen fell out!” —actual dialogue, no joke necessary

Alright, since I could spend the entire evening gushing about this show, I’ll try and narrow it down a bit to maybe two or three things that were The Best:

Amara’s swan song and the defeat of Jafar, the conclusion to Ana’s and Will’s story, and the Happilogue, which is absolutely a word and you cannot convince me otherwise.

Amara’s part in the finale was both awesome and heartbreaking. Because she knew, right from the first moment, that she was going to die soon. If they said it oud loud, I must have missed it, but it was still pretty clear that the moment she returned the water to the well, she’d die herself. (And Cyrus seemed to suspect something, at least. Him grabbing her hand wasn’t “no, what are you doing”, it was more “wait, I’m not ready to let you go” and yes, I cried.) She knew she wouldn’t live to actually be Alice’s mother-in-law, and she was trying to find out as much as possible about this woman her son wanted to spend his life with. And she clearly liked what she saw. (Which proves she has functioning eyes, but never mind that.) Like I said. It was sweet.

Some special love to the resurrection scene. Mostly because of Mrs. Rabbit’s “Well, if you’re going to do it that way…”, because that’s honestly some good composure when someone is violating the laws of reality on your living room floor.

And, of course, there was the whole scene at the well.

is it just me or is there an awful lot of water imagery in this show?

::sad noises:: Look, I knew it was coming, but that doesn’t mean I was happy about it. Still, the way they defeated Jafar was pretty amazing. Not only was it a clever plan that utilised Jafar’s own hubris/overconfidence, it also contained a nice little Disney-mythology nod (Jafar becoming a genie) and had Alice at her most badass, even though—or maybe especially because—she wasn’t hitting people with a sharp thing at a time.

facing the realms’ most powerful wizard with nothing but a cocky grin. Will would be so proud.

Although, in maybe one of the better instances of having your penny and your bun, Alice still got to do the dramatic Speech to the Troops™, neatly juxtaposed with Jafar’s. I’m not complaining, mind. “Alice the Action Hero” is an important facet of her character, and comparing her and Jafar this directly made for good groundwork before going into the final act.

And when they came back to the palace and Cyrus’s brother asked if it had been “all for nothing” and he replied “no, it was for everything”? Dead. I was dead. If the rest of the episode hadn’t slain me, that would have been the moment. Goodbye, cruel world, and all that.

So, what was the bit that actually murdered me, you ask?

Well, take a wild guess.

God. These two. Just… everything about them, especially this episode, because even after the big damn kiss last episode, there was still some amazing emotional payoff to be had.

The whole Scarlet Queen sequence, I have to say, kind of stole the show from Alice’s earlier defiant declaration that not even Jafar changing the past could ever destroy her love for Cyrus, maybe because it… didn’t happen. If there’s one thing I can fault this episode for (well, one other thing; please see below), it’s that Jafar never went through with his threat, instead just turning to Ana for answers.

Oh, this also answers my question: yup, Jafar does just like to see people in pain. Especially Will, for some bizarre reason, though I suppose that’s just because Will is completely at his mercy and can’t really fight back

Still, enough complaining, because overall, I loved this storyline. And Will got to summarise their relationship in this beautiful, earnest, and completely heartbroken speech.

“You had real love once, and you know it’s not that simple. Love is messy. It means arguing and making up and laughing and crying and struggling, and sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it. But it is. And at the end, when you’re in love, no matter what happens, you forgive each other. I forgive you, Ana, for what you did to me. Because I love you. And if there’s any part of you that has a shred of love left for me, then please, help us.”

And more than just summarising their relationship, it’s also one of the best “takes” on True Love this show has ever provided, as well as a short version of Will’s own arc. He was rightfully angry at Ana for what she did to him, and he was just as right in forgiving her. And he knows that. I also love how this little speech is set up, because Will tries to distract Ana with some ridiculous and very transparent trick before, and when it doesn’t work, he immediately starts pouring his heart out. And obviously part of that is because he has a heart to pour out, but I think a larger aspect is that… well, the worst thing possible has already happened to him. He’s seen Ana die and wasn’t able to save her. No point beating around the bush, is there?

And that little “yup, she’s back” on his part was all kinds of adorable.

Now, I’m not 100% happy with Ana’s second resurrection, mostly because Nyx giving out the water wasn’t on-screen. It’s emphatically not a deus-ex-machina, because the properties of the water were well-established, and we’d seen the wrong use of it already bring down punishment twice, so showing the stuff work as intended was only fair. But it still felt a little out of nowhere and could have easily been fixed with a thirty-second extra scene. I suppose it was a time-issue, and it didn’t really hurt the story, so I’m hardly going to complain, though. These two have suffered enough. They certainly deserve an “easy” out for once.

One thing was left unresolved, though, and it will just bug me to the end of time.

Hey. Hey, writers. Writers? You gotta get her out of there. Listen. Listen. You can’t just leave her there! She wanted to be free! She wanted to stop being a monster, how can you just leave her there?

Somebody fix this, or so help me, I’m gonna do it myself.

Leaving the unhappy monster behind… the Happilogue!

OK. Look. I’m… ambivalent on big, cheesy weddings, for several reasons, but I will freely admit that this one was set up well, and executed in a way I can absolutely get behind. Because while Alice and Cyrus never complained about their unquiet life of adventure—after all, they were together, so what more could they want?—it was established early on that Alice never wanted anything so much as a stable home where she was welcome and loved. They always wanted to settle down, and now, after being through hell together (as the Rabbit very aptly noted), they finally get to do that. It’s good! I like it! And I love  that the wedding was as weird as you would expect from two people who came from two completely different worlds, fell in love in a third, fought to protect that world and came out of the whole thing with lifelong friends everywhere.

And all in all, I am very glad the show took the time to show all of the characters in this happy moment. They’ve been through a lot, and so has the viewer, and watching them like this is like a chance to exhale. It’s good now. They made it.

Oh, and for some more crying:

OK, I wasn’t completely sure about this one at first, because Alice’s father realising that his dream was so much more than that could have been such an amazing on-screen moment, but I also get the need to keep up momentum (generally speaking, the defeat of the bad guy, reconciliation with the relationship character, achieving the story goal, and bringing down the curtain should happen in as quick a succession as possible), and this was still a beautiful moment. Not only that they’ve reconciled, but also that Alice’s father still recognises how badly he fucked up, and how much effort it was for Alice to forgive him. The “it was all a dream” reveal was an excellent bit of storytelling, and could have used its own conflict resolution, but I still adore this little scene for showing the result of their reconciliation.

And then there were the goodbyes.

so many tears. and in the show, too.

I don’t even have that much to say, except that I loved to see how cordial they all were with each other, how Ana made clear that this wasn’t forever, and they would see each other again, soon, and…

“Hold on to your heart this time.” “You hold on to yours” —these two goobers, clearly not talking about the hearts in their chests

This. So much this. From the first perfunctory “alright, goodbye then” hug to Alice running after Will and barrelling into him, because they are one of the most important people in each other’s lives, and they’ve been through so much together, and just… ::happy sigh:: Have I mentioned that I adore their friendship? Because it’s really, really good.

The actual epilogue was very sweet, but almost unnecessary. We already knew these two would live happily, and possibly ever after, but seeing what became of Will and Ana, and that Alice really does still visit Wonderland from time to time, was a nice bonus. Also worth it for this precious little bean:

It’s weird. On the one hand I can’t believe this show is over, because I really don’t want it to be, but on the other, it’s been such a wonderfully concise, well-crafted storyline that I also absolutely can believe it. So, just as a closing note, thanks to everyone who got me into watching this. It was (pun fully intended) wonderful.

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 38

*inhales*

It’s here. Pray for me.

(Also, this should be pretty obvious, but this is indeed a chapter with a sex scene, so there will be NSFW text so maybe skip this one if you don’t wanna read that kinda stuff)

And Aelin knew if she didn’t get the hell out of this city for an hour or two, she might very well explode again.

I’m out of witty remarks to make about Alien’s piss poor temper at this point. Can you believe hundreds of people died painful and brutal deaths last chapter and all SJM focuses on is Alien’s feefees?

Rolfe and Alien have “edgy” “thrilling” “banter” where they insult one another, blah blah blah, you’re not here for that.

Also Rolfe sold his soul for the map on his hands which resulted in his sister and mother dying. How many nameless characters are gonna be murdered by SJM’s hands to give her main characters something to angst over holy shit.

Aelin rasped, “No. I don’t know what happened. One minute it was us … then she came.” She rubbed at her chest, avoiding the touch of the golden chain against it. Her throat tightened as she took in that spot on [Rowan’s] own chest, right between his pectorals. Where her fist had been aimed.

FJDHFKJAHJDAS OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MALE EQUIVALENT OF SJM BRINGING TOO MUCH FOCUS ON HER FEMALE CHARACTERS BREASTS I AM ACTUALLY CHOKING AKDHFKHAFJKHD

“If I had killed you,” she hissed, but choked on the words, unable to finish the thought, the idea of it.

This book would be a lot better since it would mean less Aelin gushing and less Ratlin being hailed as the best relationship evah

“She enjoyed every rutting second of it. She wanted to see what my power might do, what she could do with my body, with the key.” [Aelin’s] flames burned hotter, shredding through her clothes until they were ash, until she was naked and clothed in only her own fire.

??? i ????? this is not a private beach???? youre a queen what if someone walked in on you naked im?????? im so confused why does she do this???

“How can you be so … fine with this?” Embers sprayed from [Aelin] like a swarm of fireflies.

FHSHJSD THIS FUCKING IMAGERY SJM YOU’RE KILLING ME

Rowan shucked off his boots, tossing them onto the dry sand behind him. “Because I’m the only one arrogant and insane enough to ask Mala Fire- Bringer to let me stay with the woman I love.” [Aelin’s] flames turned to pure gold at the words—at that word. But she said, “Perhaps you’re just the only one arrogant and insane enough to love me.”

Love it when Alien writes my snarks for me. Makes these chapter reviews a whole lot easier!

Aelin let [Rowan] pivot her in the surf and sand to face him fully, let him slide his mouth along her jaw, the curve of her cheekbone, the point of her Fae ear.“These,” he said, nibbling at her earlobe, “have been tempting me for months.”

Oh god here we go

Before we proceed, let’s have a little chat, shall we? SJM’s sex scenes? They fucking suck. This isn’t an erotica novel, therefore sex scenes serve to help us feel the connection between characters, no? I don’t mind sex scenes; I’ve read many before that made me emotional because if they’re well written, they demonstrate how much a couple loves each other.

But SJM fails so hard at sex scenes. Her sex scenes isn’t about the bond between the characters, it’s about her jerking off to fae peen. They’re so hilariously unsexy with the shitty writing and bizarre word choice, and since I don’t like any of her characters, why should I care? Her sex scenes are there solely to trick readers into thinking these books are hot and sexy. But its much easier to show you rather than explain, so.....*sigh* Here we go.

Rowan obliged her silent demand, pressing kisses and soft, growling nips to her throat. “I’ve never taken a woman on a beach,” he purred against her skin, sucking gently on the space between her neck and shoulder. “And look at that—we’re far from any sort of … collateral.”

Am i reading a bad fanfic? Tell me how the characters feel! If i want graphic descriptions of Rowboat fucking Alien, I’d look up fanfics on AO3. Tell me how they feel! Also Rowboat was literally insisting they shouldn’t fuck like animals out in the wilderness at the beginning of the book. Oh, how naive I was back then to the horrors I would endure...

Aelin remembered herself enough to say, “Someone might come looking for us.” Rowan huffed a laugh against her neck. “Something tells me,” he said, his breath skittering along her skin, “you might not mind if we were discovered. If someone saw how thoroughly I plan to worship you.”

JKDSKHDKADHKASJD YOU’RE JUST OKAY WITH SOMEONE POSSIBLY RUINING YOUR SEX BY WALKING BY. LIKE WTF WOULD YOU JUST CONTINUE FUCKING IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID WALK BY?? IS THAT WHAT YOU WOULD DO???

His lips crushed into hers, and he said onto her mouth, dropping words more precious than rubies and emeralds and sapphires into her heart, her soul, “I love you. There is no limit to what I can give to you, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you.”

God ok I take it back I don’t need to know how the characters feel. This is just too much. Pro tip, declaration of love are better kept simple and sweet, with all that big mushy stuff left unsaid. Also pro tip, try to find other ways of characters saying they love one another rather than just “I love you”, having them have their own special ways of expressing their loves just makes it more special and interesting to read and tugs on the heartstrings. Having them give huge speeches like this is just too much for me personally and doesn’t make their declarations of love feel special or meaningful

Aelin didn’t know when she started crying, when her body began shaking with the force of it. She had never said such words—to anyone.

Uh, yeah you have? She’s expressed similar love to Chaol in Crown of Midnight, calling him her home and whatnot. Pretty similar declarations of love.

Rowan pulled back, wiping away her tears with his thumbs, one after another. He said softly, barely audible over the crashing waves around them, “Fireheart.” She sniffed back tears. “Buzzard.”

Human brain: They’re disgusting and annoying characters I am not attached to their shitty abusive relationship in the slightest

Monkey brain: special couple nicknames,, pure and soft,,, favorite trope,,,

“You … are so beautiful.” She knew he didn’t just mean the skin and curves and bones. But Aelin still smiled, humming. “I know,” she said

I fucking hate Aelin’s vain ass

“Is it that different? With someone like me.” “I don’t know,” Rowan admitted. Again, his eyes slid along her body, as if he could see through skin to her burning heart beneath. “I’ve never been with… an equal. I’ve never allowed myself to be that unleashed.”

What the fuck?

This is Lyria, Rowan’s former mate. She was a Fae who was pregnant with Rowan’s child when she was killed, meaning she and Rowan had sex. How has Rowan not been with an ‘equal’ before?? Did SJM forget her own character’s backstory?

There’s more unsexy foreplay and Aelin takes off Rowan’s pants.

Rowan had been bred and honed for battle, and every inch of him was pure-blooded warrior.

Oh my god, I cannot wait to see how SJM skirts around actually using the word dick/penis//whatever

Oh, gods. Oh, burning, rutting gods. Rowan knew what he was doing; he really gods-damned did.

Just... this whole chunk. This is epic fantasy. Also ‘gods-damned’ is a dumb word idc what y’all say

Rowan growled his approval, her breast still in his mouth

JESUS ROWAN ARE YOU TRYING TO RIP OFF HER TITTY

A phantom touch, like the northern wind given form, flicked over her bare breast. Aelin burst into flames.

what the fuck I am sh o cke d

Magic foreplay?? This is the level we’re at, folks. Fucking magic foreplay. The same wind magic Rowan used to kill witches he is now using to feel up Aelin’s boobs. Holy shit.

A roaring wind full of ice and snow blasted around them.

I have several questions.

Rowan’s smile was nothing short of wicked as he pulled away to run a broad hand from her throat down to the juncture of her thighs.

lmfao wtf. SJM wants to have graphic sex scenes in her YA series but won’t actually use the correct words for genitalia? Like christ are you sticking to YA rules or not???

So Rowan did, sliding a finger into her as his tongue flicked that one spot, and oh, gods, she was going to explode into starfire—

I don’t think starfire is an actual word. Also I hate these two.

When Rowan was seated deep in her, trembling with restraint as he let her adjust, she lifted her burning hands to his face, wind and ice tumbling and roaring around them, dancing across the waves with ribbons of flame.

HAHAHA I AM DYING HOW IS NOBODY NOTICING ALL THIS FIRE AND ICE AND SHIT JUST EXPLODING ON THE BEACH

Seriously what does the magic add to this scene?? it’s so fucking weird! How are they somehow fucking but also concentrating on doing all this magic??? Like what the actual fuck it just makes no sense

And as his thrusts turned deeper, she dug in her fingers, dragging her nails across his back, claiming him, marking him. His hips slammed home at the blood she drew

WHAT THE FUCK  WHY ARE YOU DRAWING BLOOD?!?! THAT ISNT SEXY THATS AELIN LITERALLY SLICING UP ROWANS BACK WITH HER NAILS WHAT IS HAPPENING

Rowan’s magic went wild, though his mouth on her neck was so careful, even as his canines dragged along her skin.

How is he careful but also dragging his teeth across her neck you can’t have both

Rowan’s own release barreled through him at the sight of it [Aelin climaxing], and he groaned her name so that she remembered it at last, lightning joining wind and ice over the water.

LIGHTNING

L I G H T N I N G

EPIC FANTASY SERIES COMPARED TO THE LIKES OF LOTR AND WE HAVE A MAIN CHARACTER’S CLIMAX SUMMONING LIGHTNING I WANT OFF THIS CRAZY RIDE

Already, she wanted more, already she was calculating how long she’d have to wait. “You once told me that you don’t bite the females of other males.” Rowan stiffened a bit. But she went on coyly, “Does that mean ... you’ll bite your own female, then?”

Aelin has a biting kink confirmed. Listen, I don’t care what kinks people have as long as it’s kept in the bedroom and everyone involved can and has consented, but this is just gross because I despise these two characters and don’t want any more paragraphs about Rowan biting Aelin please spare me

Understanding flashed in those green eyes as he raised his head from her neck to study the spot where those canines had once pierced her skin.

Are you bullshitting me. Are you actually fucking kidding me.

Rowan assaulted Aelin and bit her on the neck, causing her to bleed.. and this is portrayed as sexy? As a romantic moment between them?? What the actual fuck SJM!!! If a guy you were arguing with bit you, you’d knee him in the balls and call the police because he is assaulting you!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING HOW IS THIS IN A NOVEL IM DJHAFJKHDJKAFHJK

I’m done and I want this chapter to be over. tl;dr Aelin wants to bite Rowan and this makes him so horny they immediately have sex again.

They moved together, undulating like the sea before them, and when Rowan roared her name again into the star-flecked black, Aelin hoped the gods themselves heard it and knew their days were now numbered.

You’re fucking like animals in the middle of a beach where anyone could see you. Stop trying to make it all ~epic~ and ~most important relationship ever~ like god fucking damnit this Ratty/Aelin ship is literally my worst nightmare. Fuck this book.

[riverdames-blog]

Disappointed But Not Disheartened: Reflections on A Wrinkle In Time

In early 2016, when it was announced that Ava DuVernay was attached to A Wrinkle In Time, I tweeted about how excited I was for it and she favorited my tweet so I screenshotted the notification and showed it to everyone on the planet and have been anxiously awaiting this movie ever since.  Jennifer Lee, one of the two screenwriters for the project, is who I aspire to be, and Ava DuVernay is, as far as I’m concerned, one of the best filmmakers of all time, and, although I honestly don’t remember much about the plot, I read at least 3 books in Madeleine L’Engle’s Time Quintet as a child and definitely really enjoyed them.  (I may have read Many Waters and completely forgotten it, but I think I was just not that interested in transitioning to the next generation and so peaced out after A Swiftly Tilting Planet.)  In the months before its release, I declared multiple times that A Wrinkle In Time would probably be the movie of the year for me.

Now that I’ve seen it, I can say more confidently: it’s not my movie of the year.  Just to be sure, I saw it twice this weekend (and I also watched the 2003 TV Movie in between to compare – it’s not great but it’s also not, like… resoundingly worse).  The second time around, I enjoyed it way more than the first, and I think it’ll only continue to grow on me with time.  Visually, it’s just spectacular: Ava DuVernay and Naomi Shohan have built a gorgeous and imaginative world.  Production design is maybe the only element of cinema that L’Engle’s original novel lends itself to easily, and they tapped that to its fullest potential.  But something about the storytelling just didn’t quite click for me.

And before I go on, I want to be clear: no one working on this movie had anything to prove.  People will frame it that way – can a black woman direct a $100 million movie? or can a little brown girl carry an action-adventure blockbuster? – but none of that is really up in the air.  Black creatives have proven time and time again that they can and will carry franchises, so we can stop pretending that was ever even a question.  And we all saw The Dark Knight Rises and were like, “hm, very middle of the road”, and yet no one raised an eyebrow when Christopher Nolan got a Best Director nod this year.  Ava is still one of the best working visual storytellers in Hollywood (and has increasingly excellent brand recognition – any studio would be lucky to have her helm another blockbuster).  Storm Reid is charming and will continue to get work.  Jennifer Lee is still my hero.  It is dumb that I’m nervous to admit that I was disappointed by A Wrinkle In Time, like if it wasn’t the perfect movie no one will ever try to make movies like it again.  Creatives do not have to break new ground with every movie they make for their work to be considered valuable.  And in a lot of ways, A Wrinkle In Time was groundbreaking.

So, bearing in mind that this movie doesn’t in anyway reflect on anyone’s capacity for great filmmaking, what made A Wrinkle In Time feel disjointed to me?

My first thought was maybe it was just a failure of casting.  They apparently searched for 7 months for someone to play Charles Wallace, and as cute as he is, Deric McCabe felt awkward and stilted to me the entire movie on first watching.  Levi Miller was the cutest stalk of celery I’ve ever seen but that’s kinda the most I can say for him.  Everyone was charming, but no one – Storm Reid included – really had the chops to carry the weight of all the bonkers exposition this movie demanded of them.

That said, the performances felt less stilted to me when I watched it a second time – Storm Reid and Deric McCabe did have some really keen and nuanced moments, and Levi Miler, despite speaking like he’s never met another human being before, gives truly excellent face.  And the adult casting was superb; Chris Pine as the affirming father of a biracial daughter seems like an obvious and sincere choice, and also ZACH GALIFIANAKIS.  Clearly Aisha Coley knew what she was doing because it takes some serious insight to look at Zach Galifinakis and think, “this schlubby comedian will play the kindest, gentlest father figure in cinematic history.”  No actor is actively wrong for their part, and no one is phoning it in – the younger folks are maybe just still figuring some things out.

So if the performances felt awkward but it wasn’t a failure of casting, I hate to even suggest it, but maybe then it’s a failure of direction.  If these actors had the potential to perform this script well, maybe Ava just didn’t direct them appropriately.  There are some moments where I think this is actually true: if you’re working with young talent struggling to create a genuine sense of chemistry, maybe don’t block things so they’re standing several yards apart as they exchange intimate dialogue.  There were multiple weirdly slow, far apart exchanges between Meg and Calvin that probably would’ve felt loaded with meaning with more competent actors but just felt bizarre and confusing with these kids.

That said, I am reluctant to criticize Ava’s work here, largely because these children have spoken quite sincerely multiple times about how kind Ava was and how safe they felt working with her.  When working with young actors, I think that’s the most important thing.  And so if these kids felt most comfortable shouting at each other from across a football field, then fine.  I’m okay with that.  And also, let’s not forget: Zach. Gala-friggin-akis.  Ava knows how to get what she needs.

So then perhaps there was something weird about the camera.  The cinematography of this movie felt deliberate, like it was meant to create a real mood around this story.  It felt like the idea was to shoot this thing in a way that was disorienting to reflect the magic and uncertainty of the world these characters occupy.  But that didn’t really click for me: I mostly just felt like the camera placement was in the way.  Maybe because the performances weren’t strong enough to come through, but maybe because cutting from a traditional over-the-shoulder shot to a strikingly tight 90 degree profile is always going to take you a little bit out of the moment.  (There were two particularly striking moments that made me chuckle they were so disorienting: one when Ms. Whatsit and Meg’s mother talk in such a tight, shallow-focus profile shot, I could’ve sworn they were about to kiss; the other when, in the middle of a conversation between Meg and Principal Jenkins, there was a cut to a close, shallow-focus shot of his name placard, and then a very artistic but completely unnecessary tilt up as the focus racks a very tight shot of Mr. Jenkin’s face.)

Weird cinematography can interrupt the flow of even the best scenes.  But maybe – and I hate to say this even more than I hate to suggest Ava’s work wasn’t as good as it could be – but maybe, I am just making excuses here for Jennifer Lee.  Maybe this was a failure of script.  And I do think that Jennifer Lee and her writing partner, Jeff Stockwell, made some really positive changes.  I think they captured and amplified the essential relationships and motivations in this story.  I think getting rid of the twins and playing around with the Murry family structure, as well as adding a lot of scenes with the dad and giving him a central character flaw, gave this story a clearer and cleaner direction than the Weinstein-produced adaptation in 2003.  And I think that the whimsy of the book was captured in a way that felt visual and cinematic in this screenplay.

But it’s hard to deny that this screenplay felt a little clunky.  There was a lot of exposition and no clear moment when a goal or central question was obviously stated, which probably would’ve helped me enjoy the film a bit more on my first watching.  It was somewhat unclear when the acts were changing, which made it hard to be totally swept up in the beautiful and immersive imagery.  The sequencing at the end is awkward – why does Calvin just watch a deeply intimate conversation between Meg and her dad?  (He’s just smiling in the corner of one shot when they hug at the end and I truly burst out laughing in the theater.)  What did Calvin and Mr. Murry do in the backyard for all that time when they tessered away without Meg and Charles Wallace?  Why did Charles Wallace get so easily distracted by the family dog (for a seemingly very long stretch of time) when he ran into the house to get his mom?  Why did Meg not laugh out loud at Calvin when he said, “Funny how it took a trip around the universe for me to have the strength to confront my crazy dad!”?  And speaking of Calvin, while I think the decision to trim a lot of the fat around the Meg-Charles Wallace sibling dynamic was a good one, it sort of begged the question: why is Calvin even here?  (It’s actually sort of nice bit of commentary – to help save the universe, men simply need to trust women and affirm that their ideas and instincts are correct – but it felt undeniably odd that Calvin came along when all he did was fall off Reese Witherspoon’s lettuce leaf body and then eat a bunch of sand.)

Having said that, it does seem like there were some fairly substantial reshoots or at least major cuts made after principle production, because based on the trailer, what seems like a big expositional scene got left on the chopping block.  I’ve also heard in interviews that they shot and were starting to animate an Aunt Beast scene between Mr. Murry’s tesser and Meg’s final confrontation with The It.  Perhaps the original script did a better job of integrating Calvin and establishing clearer act breaks and character voices.  Maybe, for reasons beyond their control, this script needed to be torn up a bit and it was too late for the writers to polish the rough edges that were left behind.   Or hey, maybe Jeff Stockwell took hostage of the whole thing and made a bunch of bad changes at the last minute that Jennifer Lee couldn’t talk him down from and her hands are clean!  (I don’t know enough about WGA rules to totally tease out what that cowriting process looked like based on the billing – that is maybe very possible – but it’s not very kind to Jeff to just assume that about the script so I won’t.)

At the end of the day, A Wrinkle In Time did not come together for me like I hoped it would.  It’s not easy to tell why major sequences got cut pretty late in the game or why the cinematography decisions and acting decisions came together as awkwardly as they did.  Whatever the reason, this movie just didn’t do it for me.  But even as I left the theater feeling a little disappointed, I was not disheartened.  This movie wasn’t anything like, say, Suicide Squad, which feels like a project that was fought over, a project where everyone involved seemingly knew the movie was a train-wreck but also “knew” it wasn’t their fault.  It’s hard to point the finger at anyone here; everyone has something to be proud of (and something to be less proud of).  No sequence feels pulled because the studio didn’t trust its creatives or because the director didn’t trust her actors.  It feels like a product that was made by a whole, a whole who struggled with this beast together.  A Wrinkle In Time feels delightfully collaborative, a movie made by committee in the best possible way.

Perhaps the biggest takeaway, then, is that adapting L’Engle’s bonkers novel is a hard thing to do.  To no one’s fault, the stakes of her story are simultaneously impossibly large and surprisingly small.  Her characters speak with a rhythm that is odd even when done well, and the world she built evokes more the concept of beauty than actual images of it.  (And let’s not even begin to unpack cinema’s troubled troubled relationship with Christian-influenced fantasy storytelling.)

But here is a group of people who all earnestly rose to the challenge.  They made the thing.  And it is flawed in a lot of ways.  But as Meg Murry knows better than most, its faults are not undeserving of love.

[catwhite7-blog]

The game which tells a stressed, absorbing puzzle via exquisitely minimalist means.

Beyond the reef, the shelf falls away into the turquoise haze of the open ocean. I find myself surrounded with golden-peaked pillars aglow using the shimmering petals of sun lit daily life. Intelligent green webs of twisted tendrils stretch from pillar to beam, forming a writhing system of bridges to its feathery, fern-like animals who patrol and continue maintaining them. It really is really a spectacular, mythical scene. However it exists mostly in my imagination, its own wonder shaped by means of a couple of single-sentence descriptions along with a simple two-colour contour map. hentai games does so much with seemingly so little, emerging like a masterclass in wise, chic storytelling.

Dr. Ellery Vas can be a xenobiologist after in the aftermath of her partner who disappeared while re searching extra terrestrial entire life over the ocean planet Gliese 667Cc. Stationed at her spouse abandoned laboratory and armed forces having the AI-controlled diving suit, Vas investigates the flames in search of replies. In a disarming inversion of the normal human-AI connection, you play the AI; Vas sets the objectives, frequently amazes with you, however it really is your task to storyline her training course, gather samples, and also conduct examinations backwards from the laboratory. The setup allows Vas area to breathe to get a character. Since you guide her maritime trip, she provides intermittent narration. She succeeds to marvel in brand new landscapes, believes out loudly as she performs by potential notions, and occasionally confides in you her doubts and anxieties. Conversation may be sparse, and also your ability to react will be limited to the bizarre yes or no response, yet it's not all of the more affecting because of it. The both of you are strangers in the outset, however Vas' wariness in revealing her inner most head to a AI slowly rips away as she awakens, even though your own reticence, which you simply know her predicament--in the process unearthing a memorably multi-layered personality. It really is really a friendship forged in aquatic isolation, 1 silent lineup at a time. Similarly, there's an elegance for the overall design since it communicates a terrific deal of advice in very few words. The perspective of your journeys is restricted to a bathymetric chart where by hydrographic functions are attracted on blank lines and specific details of interest are definitely marked whenever you trigger the scanner. Vas can be an assiduous NoteTaker, and also her short published descriptions of each and every location bring these things into life within unusually vibrant style. The textual imagery joins efficiently with the subtle colour alters of this map--the warm greens of this shallows segue in to the blues and yellows of the waters before giving method to the reds and blacks of these darkest depths. Add from the vague, ambient hum of the ocean and the gentle thrum of this diving fit's propulsion motor because you shove to your new destination, and also hentai games delivers a richly immersive heavenly adventure that belies its spartan aesthetic. It's quite a accomplishment. The minimalist construction extends to your interactions with the world. Scanning shows the nearest nodes you are able to go to via the point-to-point movement process. Additionally, it accomplishes any lifeforms you could click onto have Vas examine. Each distinctive encounter with a specific lifeform adds to her observations before she is in a position to properly establish and catalogue it. Additionally, there are exclusive samples to get, often concealed in jelqing corners of the map, that contribute to the profound taxonomy with this alien eco system and also benefit enough time it can take to monitor all of them downagain. All this is completed via a interface which merely needs to be performed with. Intriguingly unlabelled buttons, dials, buttons, stoves, and sliders don't therefore much fill out the screen as grace it, teasing enigmatic functions with perfect stylish form. Inconspicuous tutorial hints light up the dash when it's appropriate to utilize just about every element, but there's plenty left that you decipher. Just as Vas faces the anonymous in her travel and has to retire and experiment, testing her out hypotheses, you too are handed an extremely tactile, symbolic interface and made to probe it before you finally in tuit how everything operates. In many instances, the mysteries coincide; Vas' seek out understanding of this life-forms she is restricting mirrors your own rumination on the best way to go ahead. Truly, all around , the mechanics and topics of both exploration and scientific method align and intertwine. Though primarily a narrative-driven hentai games game, there is a light undercurrent of resource direction flowing throughout each tune out of the bottom. Sampling and re searching marine life allows you to extract the oxygen and power you will have to maintain Vas' motivating suit for longer treks. Particular environmental threats deplete those tools in a increased speed, however, while you'll need a source of certain samples to advancement through otherwise inaccessible places, either scenarios serving to gently nudge one to at least consider the restricted inventory space when possible get ready for each expedition. Though collapse here isn't penalizing --Vas is going to be hauled via drone back into bottom in case you let her run out of oxygenhaving to track your use of tools assembles tension and benefits the sense of trepidation as you possibly specify a path into uncharted waters. hentai games grows its fundamental mysteries in professional style, drip-feeding its own revelations in a way that feels normal, and dispatching one to inspect the corners of its map in an way that doesn't really feel contrived. Since you steadily learn more of exactly what Vas' partner was up to on this odd world, and also you yourself begin to know humanity's predicament, the puzzle assembles into a positive decision --just one which matches yet stays knowledgeable that some issues are far more enticing if left unanswered. Inside this way, its story echoes the restraint which runs through the hentai games match to supply a stylish, ensured, and completely absorbing adventure that demonstrates again and it understands the best way to do a lot with apparently very little.

[its-just-like-the-movies]

Date Night!: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Back when the swell fella who would become my boyfriend and I were in one of those strange middle grounds where we were on our way to becoming a couple and very, very aware of it, our first sort-of-date was when Tommy invited me to go see Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice on its opening night. I, of course, accepted, somewhat reluctantly. I can’t remember if I was expecting the film to be good or bad, though I’m sure before then some of its abysmal reviews had been public. I was also nervous about the whole “oh my god this is probably sort of a date isn’t it”, especially since at the time I didn’t know him all that well. This would be the first of many dates at Ze Cinemah, although after this we’d be perfectly, happily aware that they were all dates. Even better, I think, is our immediate discussions after the film is over, and how eager we are to talk about it and discuss what we’ve just seen. We’ve seen plenty of films together, and maybe I’ll talk about other ones we’ve seen someday, but I can already feel a pit in my stomach drop at having to talk about this stinking pile of steamingness. All said, Batman v Superman is one of those truly atrocious films, like The Judge or The Danish Girl, that works like so much manure and makes me start sparking and frothing with how horrible they were. It’s an energizer more than it is a depressive, though it for sure is both, and there is one thing about our date in particular that haunts me every day. It’s not even something the film did, but something I did, or almost did, but could have done more of. Something that perhaps could have changed the screening for the whole theater, or as Anthony Hopkins keeps saying in the trailers for the new Transformers movies “change the tide of human history itself”. I wonder about it every day and every night, as I sleep and as I wake, and especially as a type this story to you, The Void, and now I must share the tale of my screening of Batman vs Superman with you to get it of my chest, to free myself, and to see where the tides of human history itself shall take me. Also: I’m going to be very mean to this film, and am very not interested in hearing about how wrong I am from random eggs as I and many others I know have been on Twitter. I hate it, don’t care if you love it, for fuck’s sake leave me alone.

It didn’t take the two of us long to find a pair of seats, though we immediately moved to the row behind us because our view was partially blocked by the structure of the stairwell. We warned the couple who ended up taking those seats about it, though I can’t remember if they moved too. And the film starts. Zack Snyder has the gall to open the film by reminding us that Batman’s parents died in front of him during a robbery gone wrong. He also seemingly cannot hire Jeffrey Dean Morgan to do much beyond die in the openings of his films, though I remember he had more to do in Watchmen. The visual of Martha’s(!!!) pearl necklace snapping in the gun’s safety as the trigger is pulled is sort of fascinating but also pretty grotesque, all things considered. Batffleck is saying something, though I cannot remember what. We see the funeral, little Bruce running into the woods in sadness during the procession, only to fall into a well or pit or some such hole in the ground. The score, I’m sure, was going crazy.

And then, it happens. Baby Bruce is levitated out the pit by seemingly hundreds of bats flying around him like a tornado, floating him towards the light. This is how we are abruptly told that this is a dream sequence, and reader, I laughed. Not the cackle it deserved, but I couldn’t stop it from escaping completely. I chuckled, giggled, whatever; I’m pretty sure Tommy hit me on the arm to calm me down and get me stop but I’m not quite sure. The giggle is what counts, though, and it haunts me. What if I had just burst out laughing at a moment that the whole theater was palpably flummoxed by? Batffleck wakes up but I am still reeling from the horseshit prologue we have been subjected to. It is not the most nonsensical thing we are going to see in this movie. It is not even the least plot-relevant indulgence that Zack Snyder will take us through, nor the least inexplicable jump of energy or plot logic that we’ll be forced to sit through. Academy Award winner Holly Hunter will be forced to stare dramatically, in close-up, to a jar of piss before she and dozens of other people are killed in an assassination plot meant to frame Superman, whose own close up registers at the subtle, bottomless despair and discomfort of sitting on the can and realizing you’re not quite done shitting, except Henry Cavill also registers as remarkably bored. Jeremy Irons reads every line as Alfred Pennyworth with such bitchy, subtly nasty inflections that I actually found the character an unwelcome presence, though if anyone found this a life raft of something enjoyable happening on screen, particularly Irons, then by all means savor him. Amy Adams will throw a Kryptonite spear into an underwater pile of rubble and, with no indication that Lois Lane has been told why the heroes need it to vanquish the rock monster that is Doomsday, dives into the water and nearly drowns recovering it. Batman slaughters - in fact, he often guns down - dozens of criminals on screen, brands sex offenders, had one montage that’s just him training to become even beefier and another, completely bizarre dream sequence that may also be a warning from another dimension’s Flash where Superman is technically Hitler, and Barry Allen screams about Lois Lane before Batffleck wakes up at his desk, which is meant to convey that this May Have Been A Dream Or Is It Ooooooh. This scene has no narrative impact and is never referenced again, though it is not as patently stupid as is the sight of Superman, wielding that Kryptonite spear, deciding to kamikaze himself by killing Doomsday with the knowledge that he cannot survive any assault the giant may bring on him while he is in such close proximity to said spear, ignoring the two superheroes who have been helping him fight Doomsday this whole time.

There are plenty of other absurd, delicious, amazingly shitty one-offs. Michael Shannon is credited for appearing in the film for the three seconds General Zod’s corpse floats in the remains of his spaceship. The President of the United States decides to nuke Superman in the middle of his fight with Doomsday after the latter threw the Man of Steel into the Earth’s orbit (a safe enough distance to nuke him, I suppose). Diane Lane is duck taped and tied to a chair, threatened to be burned alive as Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor throws photos of her with “Witch” written on her face, and all of this is tied into some mythological asinine crap that is Luthor’s motivation for wanting to kill Superman and create Doomsday in the first place. Eisenberg spends the whole film as some combination of Edward Nygma and a meth addict’s impersonation of Heath Ledger’s Joker, and it is by far the biggest trainwreck in the whole film. I think I also resisted laughing once “MARTHA!!???!?!?!?!!!” happened but in truth, I blocked that out of my memory. The sheer joy of seeing Wonder Woman, and hearing the score come alive as she roars into battle, literally, at some points, is all that is keeping me from giving this film an F grade, though perhaps I just can’t rate an Amy Adams film that low. Gal Gadot is at least enjoying herself, which is in even bigger contrast to the stark constipation that Cavill and Ben Affleck are constantly exuding. The film has ideas about literal hero worship, about what Superman could mean or stand for, and wants to have real conversations about his necessity, but it jerry-rigs them through Christic imagery and working hard to undermine the criticisms of genuine challengers and the critics themselves. Bruce’s hatred and suspicion of the Man of Steel seems completely arbitrary, banking on the fear of Superman turning on humanity in spite of his big coming-out party as a global entity being the eradication of his home species for the sake of mankind. Horrific as the collateral damage was, it’s not in line with anything Superman does in the film, is shown as doing, or is framed as doing by Synder himself, who doesn’t pretend for a moment that there’s actually anything wrong with Superman. He’s content to make the man a misunderstood martyr, a golden boy whose death inspires the formation of The Justice League and the warming up of Batman’s glacial, inherently distrusting heart. Superman is basically fridged on behalf of Bruce Wayne, and it’s clumsily executed as Smallville himself is. 

There are so many vile, absurd, abstracted, unnecessary, horrific moments in this film and yet, I still wonder how much that night would’ve changed had I actually burst out laughing at the beginning of the film. What would’ve changed for the whole theater if some jackass sitting hear the back-left had cackled as a small child is literally lifted out of a scene the filmgoing public had seen at least seventy-eight million times by now, one that kicks off an indefensibly ghastly excuse for a Hollywood spectacle lit worse than even the lowest budge episode of The X-Files and colored like it’s scared that bright shades will deflate how Dour and Serious this Cinematic Experience is? Recounting many of the set pieces I’ve already mentioned back to my sister afterwards I couldn’t help cackling at some of them, though I did so far more angrily with Tommy immediately after, baffled not just that I had paid for this film but that it even existed, that anybody who made this gigantic dumpster fire thought that it was in any way a competently crafted, psychologically or emotionally coherent picture. Could we, as a crowd, as a community, have laughed at this horseshit for what it was? I love that in horror movies the audience always make the pact with itself that fine, this is a lot, you deserve a good scream. This picture was even more upsetting, and perhaps if I’d laughed, having taken the piss out of it so goddamn early, we wouldn’t have had to just sit there and take it. We could’ve fought back and laughed at it (with it?), openly railed against it, or just fucking not be quiet throughout this whole ordeal. I will always be haunted by this inaction on my part, and to this day it shames me.

He did try to defend parts of it, but not much, and for sure stole my comments about how Eisenberg wasn’t even playing Lex Luthor when we starting talking about the film to our RA Josh and fellow hallmate Dylan in the hall that same night. Josh peddled the theory that Marvel people had paid off critics to hate on DC’s live-action features, which I challenged by asking why Marvel would even need to do that. It’s not even that DC’s films are so drastically worse than any of Marvel’s features, but Marvel at least has a brand formula at work. Their knock is never that their bad, just predictable and uninspired, though they’ve been getting a little better at going against both those counts lately, with the Guardians films at least. And I will say this for Batman v Superman: It’s awfulness has staked a far larger claim on my mental landscape than The Avengers or Deadpool or most Marvel fare ever has. I liked Man of Steel fine, was particularly impressed by the early minimalism in portraying Superman’s powers, especially his x-ray vision, and was even playing devil’s advocate with family members I saw it with. I’m semi-interested to return to it, but not passionately so. You for sure couldn’t call this film formulaic, perhaps unworthy of all the bombast it’s applying to itself but worthy of notice the way a burning car is, or how Jeff Goldblum and Laura Dern are seemingly in awe of that giant pile of shit in Jurassic Park. As dubious as literally every aspect of this film is, the sheer magnitude of its awfulness is compelling in such a way that I became anticipatory of the film’s eventual Rifftrax takedown as I was watching it. I don’t know how soon into it this idea started, but once Amy Adams dived in to get that spear I could already hear the befuddled joke about Lois Lane: Plot Psychic that Kevin Murphy would probably hurl at the screen, and it made this mess a little bit better.

All things being honest, I am absolutely going to see Justice League with my boyfriend, though I wonder how much more excited he is than I am. I loathed Suicide Squad but thought it was so poorly edited I stopped caring and would up having something of an okay time, appreciating Margot Robbie trying to find a character in Harley Quinn and relishing that Viola Davis actively seemed to want to be there a little as I did. Of course I’ve seen Wonder Woman, a step above most recent DC efforts in that it’s compelling, competently told and emotionally resonant, though it really shows Gadot isn’t much of an actress. There’s a lot about it I questioned in the moment but I am so, so appreciative of Wonder Woman as a film that exists, and one I mostly enjoyed seeing even as I actively wished for a better version of the film while I was watching it. Maybe I should just not see these given how much I end up railing against these projects, but I love watching movies with my guy (who I also love) and they are great conversation fodder. Plus, we watch lots of better movies together! Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was the first of many, many delightful date night movies, and we weren’t even dating yet! My guy was easily the best part of the film, though it’d be a discredit to it say that it wasn’t a memorable experience, future boyfriend or no. I truly hope I never see it again, at least not sober, but I got a great story out of it, and a great man too, which is more than a lot of movies have ever given me. And at the end of the day, it’s that the biggest reward a person could get? It’s not like this makes Batman v Superman anything more than a gray, ugly, violent, gross, despicable, unpleasant, misogynistic, time-wasting, utterly horrendous, steaming pile of shit. But hey, it counts for something.

[usatrendingsports]

Rating all 30 MLB groups’ official Twitter hashtags for the 2018 season

A bizarre annual custom in each league is the discharge of the brand new hashtags on Twitter. Yearly, every staff associates a tag with its emblem, in order that followers can showcase how huge of followers they’re and let the world know that they spend numerous time on the web. It may very well be a staff motto, an abbreviation or, if the staff is the worst, the staff’s title.

I ranked each slogan, which have been launched two days forward of Opening Day. Be at liberty to berate me together with your unhealthy hashtags. Additionally, Cardinals followers, I am sorry prematurely.

Excused — Colorado Rockies: #Rockies25th

25 years is a landmark price celebrating. Due to this fact, the social media staff will be excused for fulfilling staff obligations.

29. St. Louis Cardinals: #STLCards

I’ve this at useless final as a result of it is essentially the most Cardinal Manner factor ever to suppose you are too good for a slogan. “We are the STLCards, that is all we’d like. Our redbird emblem won’t ever be related to some campy motto.” I cannot promise that this rating is devoid of bias.

28. New York Mets: #LGM

Let’s Go Mets? However shorter? Come on guys. At the least make it “Will Tebow Play Professional?” (#WTPP?) or one thing. LGM is the title of an organization that everybody has heard of however nobody is aware of what it does. You may’t put LGM on a t-shirt.

27. Los Angeles Dodgers: #Dodgers

“We simply made the World Collection final 12 months, what’s going to illustrate that we actually suppose we will win all of it this 12 months?”

“Simply our title. Nothing else. Not even town.”

“Genius.”

The one dodging happening right here is the social media staff dodging its work.

26/25. San Diego Padres/Pittsburgh Pirates: #LetsGoTeam

#LetsGoPadres and #LetsGoBucs. I am most upset within the Padres, the Dream Meme Crew of 2017. Let’s go staff is so completely devoid of creativity I’m wondering if the homeowners mandate this to be a reputation. It is simply outstandingly lazy. Additionally, Pirates, calling yourselves shortened variations of Buccaneers is clear.

24-21. Chicago White Sox, Minnesota Twins, Texas Rangers, San Francisco Giants: Actually a model of the staff title

#WhiteSox, #MNTwins, #TexasRangers, #SFGiants. Good work. You are all baseball groups. Perhaps I am being unfair, as a result of I like that wins is the one half lower-case on the Twins. However severely. I a minimum of count on higher from the Rangers. What occurred to #LonestarGrit?

20. Toronto Blue Jays: #BlueJays

Look, even the staff title is best than #LetsRise.

19. Milwaukee Brewers: #ThisIsMyCrew

I hate this as a result of followers are going to run this into the bottom. #ThisIsTheBrewCrew would have been higher, or one thing that does not so instantly tie the fan to the hashtag. I get the sentiment, however it’s so rattling try-hard. There is a spectrum for social media. If 29-20 are the laziest of the lazy, that is what occurs once you give the Brewers’ #BiggestFan naming rights.

18. Philadelphia Phillies: #BeBold

This has Gabe Kapler’s spastic fingerprints throughout it. The staff went from #GoPhils to #BeBold in a 12 months. Perhaps get your title in italics first.

17. Tampa Bay Rays: #RaysUp

This one is definitely annoying, as a result of it actually does not make sense. Are you flinging Rays round? Is it a play on stand up? If it is purported to be a slanted speech of stand up, I instantly rescind this rating and put this high 10. However I actually do not suppose that is the case, it is simply the Rays on the lookout for the excessive floor. Or, you realize, any footing in any respect.

16. Oakland Athletics: #RootedInOakland

This might positively be increased if the Athletics weren’t attempting so ridiculously laborious to get out of Oakland. Plus one for irony guys, however possibly do not taught your followers together with your social media presence.

15. Cleveland Indians: #RallyTogether

That is fairly tacky, which lends to me not liking it. However the Indians are tremendous insistent on this being a factor, and it has no enterprise being a factor. Sure, Indians, that is the purpose of baseball.

14. Chicago Cubs: #EverybodyIn

Indians’ followers asking me “what the hell man? That is simply as cheesy.” You are positively proper. Nevertheless it’s not #ThatsCub. I might put this under the Cardinals if the Cubs stayed with #ThatsCub. It is a minimum of a change. Even when it is nonetheless unhealthy, it is not top-tier horrible.

13. Detroit Tigers: #DetroitSummers

Much like the Cubs’ rating, it is a welcome change from “#WhosYourTiger,” principally as a result of that is most definitely for use in in the present day’s context as a ballot for who must be traded subsequent. Detroit Summers is not good — it sounds just like the title of an individual with some progressively non-progressive dad and mom — however it’s not #WhosYourTiger. Time to place that slogan the way in which of the staff’s success within the foreseeable future.

12. Houston Astros: #NeverSettle

Uh-oh, somebody instructed the Astros their price and now they’re posting Marilyn Monroe quotes on their Fb web page. Clearly, the defending champions do not wish to accept something lower than rings any longer. However man, one World Collection win and you’ve got certain added a strut huh?

11. Cincinnati Reds: #RedsCountry

This one is humorous (not ha-ha humorous simply “huh” humorous), as a result of a phrase goes a good distance. The Reds have been simply #Reds final 12 months, and they also mentioned “man, we gotta do one thing about this.” So that they added “nation,” and darn it, it form of works. Reds Nation form of flows, and it is positively an enchancment from final 12 months.

10. Arizona Diamondbacks: #GenerationDbacks

This one is arguably responsible of attempting too laborious, however a minimum of it is not #OurSeason. That will be fairly unhappy after final 12 months. Though I’ll say they misplaced factors for not making it #OkThisIsOurSeason.

9. Atlanta Braves: #ChopOn

This one needs to face out, and it must be recommended for that. It is a enjoyable catch-phrase and it offers followers one thing to rally round. It is form of like what the Brewers’ staff wished, however not horrible. Additionally, with Acuna, this turns into a bit extra relevant if he lives as much as expectations.

eight. Boston Crimson Sox: #DirtyWater

Soiled Water and The Fens have a number of ties to the Crimson Sox, and I genuinely admire the staff’s tribute to The Standells right here. The one cause that that is barely cracking the Prime 10 is as a result of “Soiled Water” was within the soundtrack for “Fever Pitch,” and I am unable to simply enable that to fly.

7. Baltimore Orioles: #Birdland

I do not know why I really like this one a lot. It is not overly intelligent, it is barely a play on the Orioles. There’s simply one thing actually satisfying in regards to the visible it evokes. “The Land” is a fairly overused cliche with reference to sports activities territories, however Birdland. That is a spot you do not wish to find yourself.

6. New York Yankees: #PinstripePride

It is easy. It really works. Just like the jerseys, you’ll be able to’t beat the classics. Sure, there’s an air of conceitedness about it, however that is the Yankees. Final 12 months was enjoyable with the #BronxBombersAreBack. Now, nonetheless, it is enterprise as typical because the Yankees attempt to decide up one other World Collection with the crew in place.

5. Los Angeles Angels: #TheHaloWay

It is a good, easy evocation of Angels imagery, and it seems weirdly good subsequent to the Angels’ emblem. This has been what the Angels have gone with the previous few years. You may see why they keep it up. The nickname the Halos works too right here, however I am a bit stunned they did not go together with “#TheHalOhtaniWay.

four. Washington Nationals: #OnePursuit

That is an instance of a fairly try-hardy expression that works. The Nationals must be in competition for a championship this 12 months, in order that lends itself to only one pursuit. This one is fairly easy, so it is laborious to hate on. It is simply the staff’s quest in direction of a World Collection. If it have been anybody apart from one of many high contenders within the league, this would not work. However they’re contenders, so it really works.

Three. Seattle Mariners: #TrueToTheBlue

I do not know why I like this one a lot, I feel I identical to the double that means. True to that Mariner navy blue blended with the Mariners’ pure affinity for water, it really works. It is also form of a twist on the “true blue” cliche, so I solely prefer it extra. Even when the Mariners are horrible this 12 months, it is a good phrase.

2. Kansas Metropolis Royals: #RaisedRoyal

Once more, the double that means does it right here. Raised as a Royal and a actually elevated Royals staff, it is catchy. Additionally, I am an absolute slave to alliteration. That may at all times knock issues up just a few factors. It is a actually good slogan for the staff, and it is simply easy sufficient to work.

1. Miami Marlins: #JuntosMiami

This interprets to Collectively Miami, and I adore it for its simplicity. I really like that it exhibits the staff hasn’t forgotten its followers, and I really like that it illustrates unity. That is most likely the one factor that the Marlins will win all 12 months, and it could illustrate one thing that runs diametrically against the staff’s philosophy, however purely as a slogan it really works.

Cardinals’ followers, I do not dislike you, however I admit watching followers get labored up menial issues is admittedly enjoyable.

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[rhodrymavelyne]

Happy Valentine’s Day! I’ve got a special Tale of the Navel for you all. Duessa is looking for a valentine, watch out! Here’s a segment of ‘Be My Valentine...Snack’. 

“Be my Valentine?” Something soft and silky brushed against my cheek, exuding the scent of a freshly picked rose.

“Isn’t that what you call all of your lovers, Lady Duessa?” I asked. I studied the lady, who’d reached out one of her eight arms to offer me a single flower.

“Certainly not,” she said. The lady smiled, exposing one of her sharp canines. “The roses I usually offer are red as blood. I consider it a subtle warning about my ultimate intentions.”

I didn’t make a move to touch the flower. Any gesture of acceptance could be dangerous.

Duessa smiled a little wider and nodded her head in a courtly manner. She lowered the rose, so I could see its color. Its petals weren’t read. They were a beautiful ruby purple. Exactly like the flowers which grew in the place where I’d first seen Damian, touched his hand. The very same color as his eyes.

I gritted my teeth, trying to keep anything too rude from escaping my lips. Duessa Ashelocke was Gabrielle’s former mentor. She was also a lady and a regular customer at the Navel. Most importantly, she was Damian’s aunt. I ought to be afraid of her. At the very least, I ought to respect her.

“I don’t know why you’re offering such a rose to me, Lady Duessa,” I said. I kept my eyes fixed upon a store shelf. All the skulls Damian had created out of clay rested upon it. They grinned at me with all the mischievous merriment of their maker.

I’d found these lost skulls in storage and brought them out of hiding. Some customers found their empty eye sockets terrifying, which was why Gabrielle had packed them away. I’d once found their grins comforting, but I was learning to appreciate their empty stares. They saw nothing and expected nothing in return. Right now, their bared teeth reminded of a bright, sparkling smile Damian used to dazzle and confuse others with. Just another little piece of him to hold close to myself, since the rest of him had slipped through my fingers.

“Ah, but the color matches your eyes, so prettily,” she said with another little bow. I watched her sides warily, but her extra arms had faded into the shadows. She looked quite human right now. I had to remember she was not.

“That’s not true,” I said, glancing at the rose.. My eyes might have a purple cast, but they were nothing like Damian’s. Nothing. “My eyes are only a pale lavender shadow of that vibrant hue.” I didn’t even bother to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

“Ah, poor little Christopher, abandoned in this shack of a store by the one who brought you here,” Duessa said, pressing a free hand to her chest.

I gave her a sharp look at that comment. Duessa had suspected from the moment she met me I wasn’t truly Gabrielle’s son, although she treated as if I was, bless her generous heart.

“Why reject me?” Duessa asked. She softened her voice, even as she narrowed her lips in a knowing smile. “I could keep you in far greater splendor than Gabrielle does. You could quit working in this absurd monstrosity of a shop.” Contempt dripped from the word ‘shop’, as Duessa regarded the Navel’s shelves, rack, and counter. Gabrielle referred to this place as ‘the center of things bizarre’. Truly, the Navel did sell some bizarre things. Metal and wicker models of chicken gods occupied places of prominence on the shelves and counter. An open wardrobe carved with scowling demons was filled with ritual robes embroidered with smiley faces. Oh, there were more easily identifiable things, such as books, crystals, and candles, but there were also items which would appear suddenly when a particular customer came in. It was just one of the ways of the Navel, which I’d come to accept without question.

My favorite items in the shop were Duessa’s least favorites; Damian’s skulls. Anything he’d carved, drawn, or painted drew my eye, or my hand. I couldn’t resist to urge to touch the box he’d created to hold a deck of cards he’d painted.

“These images mean many things,” he’d said with a cock of his head and a twitch of his lips. I stared at the pictures on the rectangles of paper, showing a boy at the edge of a cliff, an egg in fiery waters, of a robed figure with a scythe. I could be absorb myself in their imagery for hours. None of them were the equal of his painting, ’Waiting for Rebirth’. The one I’d modeled for, which had ultimately taken Damian away from me. ‘Waiting for Rebirth’ was no longer in the store, or anywhere in this world. Not that Duessa missed it. She had disliked the painting even more than the skulls. Duessa took offense to all of her nephew’s artistic endeavors. A strangely sensitive attitude, since there were far more offensive things in this shop.

“Come, why are you bothering our shy little blossom?” Speak of the offensive and he will grab you. I’d asked Peter not to, many times, yet he still dug his fingers into my shoulder, as if it belonged to him. Peter was the replacement Gabrielle had found for Damian. Actually, he wasn’t a bad person, when he wasn’t grabbing, or flirting. “Especially when there’s a rose in full bloom present, irresistibly drawn to the flower in your fair hand?”

Reveling in his own purple prose, Peter nudged me slightly to the side. He wasn’t much bigger than me, but much more confident about his slightness. He had fair skin, not as pale as Damian’s, but milky, exposed in careful patches through his poet’s shirt and open red vest. Peter was like a little bird, strutting and showing off his plumage to all possible mates. This meant just about everyone. You never would have guessed this, from the way he fixed his dark, soulful eyes upon Duessa Ashelocke.

In all fairness, I can understand falling for Duessa at first sight. She has the same luminous skin as her nephew, the same heart-shaped face, the same delicate, clever hands. The problem is that there are eight of them, instead of two. She keeps the additional six hands, as well as the arms they’re attached to, hidden. How? I’m not entirely sure. At first glance, she looks like nothing more than a beautiful human woman. Eventually, you’ll see her true form, if you truly look at her. Not only does she have eight arms and hands, but eight pairs of eyes. Each eye appraises your beauty, power, and flavor.

I doubted Peter saw anything, besides a beautiful woman. I wondered, if I should warn him. Flirting with Duessa could be dangerous. She might take Peter’s advances seriously.