#its two eps ago
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#GUYS#i watched the second to last ep of sentinel and it was alright yeayea#BUT! im running out of the product right? so im panicking im reading the wiki im reading about the producers#im reading old archive links on blogposts about dvd cover art releases. you know the drill#and so i start thinking about getting those dvd sets again right?#so i figure out its visual entertainment incorporated (VEI) who like produced the dvds and stuff#and i go to their website and yeah of course they dont have em anymore the shows a relic!#so i go to wayback machine to see if they happened to have it before#AND. THEY HAD IT#FOR FIFTEEN UNITED STATES DOLLARS#IN FUCKING. TWENTY TWENTY TWO#TWO YEARS AGO#I CPULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM FOR 15 BUCKS??????#inanse. i have nobody to talk about this to#and like sure probably they dont even deliver to finland and i guess they couldve been sold out even back then#(probably not tho since why wouldnt the wayback machine show that?? also that 15$ was an on-sale-price already)#but i cant believe it.... two years ago... i couldve just gone and bought it.....#my post#hey guys im losing my mind a bit#also did you know apparently the dvds dont have a ton of extra material (although apparently the full set was released in 2015?#so maybe that release had more) but theres three episdoe commentaries by the producers?#i dont think ill listen to them but who knows how desperate i get!#now i just gotta gather courage to watch the finale#and then i can start the show again#ouaaaaaaghhhhhh aaaoooooouuuooaaaaaaa
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dangerous romance more like love tutor or sth
#dangerous romance#give me more of the actual dangerous romance IM BEGGING YOU#i love my two boys but come on... WHATS DANGEROUS ABOUT THAT#oh nooo we won't pass the test.... shush and give me more name and saifah!#they need to kiss passionatly and its due 3 eps ago#an rambles
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good time to mention im not just a one fandom guy- yep im into FE as well, and my brayne has decided to make that it's current focus (it has a habit of jumping fandom to fandom at random) anyways this was created cause my two friends have no idea what the fuck i am talking about half the time when it comes to Fire Emblem
#fire emblem#EP's shitty memes#yes you can expect me to make aus for Fire Emblem btw#currently dabbling in making an au for Awakening as we speak#and there will prob be more in the future#(as in for both Awakening in specific and the other entries of the franchise too)#but yeah gam good#also as a reminder just cause i have jumped fandoms-#-does not mean i have completely given up on older fandoms#just means it is on partial hiatus in my brayne space#but anyways#its gonna be great when i finally get more details to the FE Awakening au im working on-#-that way i can actually mention it over here#cause i like having several details already decided before mentioning an au#cause if i don't do it that way there would be many an abandoned au posted upon me tumblr#i still live i have just done nothing but play Fire Emblem Awakening this past month#oh and college too i guess#also when i say the two friends know nothing-#-i mean absolutely nothing#they didn't know Awakening saved the franchise until i told them a few days ago#they don't even know the Black Knight's true identity!#i really hope i can get the Tellius games so i can force those two through those games#i want to see if they guess it without *any* hints (or mobile game spoilers)#because you do not get an opportunity like this often#but anyways i rambled enough for a meme post
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yeah the atla fandom had the most mean spirited takes against child characters that i've ever seen and its a show where 99 percent of the cast are KIDS and we got idiots getting mad when they dont behave ubber mature because adults are def mature people right? (eyes politics) its riduclous and its all over dumb shipping that the main kid is called lets see immature, childish, spoiled, bratty, poessisive, a preadator.. and Im just bro I shipped zutara but ya'll are CRAZY and vile you can cry your being bulled all ya want but when you hate the main kid that much i have zero pity for you .
Look at this baby cant believe he receives so much vitriol
#atla#aang#pro aang#anti zutara fandom#and they ignore zuko outside of two eps the catacombs/tsr everything else doesnt exist they dont even like zuko just a made up idea of him#same with katara at lest with my sp fandom most of us are in the ballpark with character discussion and dont restor to character assination#sp fandom biggoted oh hell nah not like atla fandom that constanly demonize the victim of genocide#i rewatched this 2 years ago and my adult brain was just WOAH BABIS#all of em are babies#and i was what 17/20 when i saw it last#back then it didnt occur to my brain how little they were#so i come to afandom where people hate kids its crazy
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in a bit of a deer mood tonight. have a WIP of BLQ and tracy screenshot redraw for the furry AU
#pentadraws#art#WIP#fanart#general hospital#GH animal print au#too tired to clean this up tonight! ill get to it eventually#something about the Qs gives off traditional regal foresty vibes#so i feel like a lot of them should be deer! :)#BLQ is a white tailed deer bc. idk. she has doe eyes imo#tracy is a roe deer bc the desaturated color scheme fit her better#this scene was like two weeks ago i think so its only showing up in my ep archive now
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rwby volume 9 finale finally gave us confirmation of a full red like roses???
tumblr user pattypotterpevensie found sobbing in an alleyway full of autumn leaves
#the rwby music will forever and always get me emotional#rwby volume 9#rwby#rwby spoilers#i legit binged this on the plane ride to japan almost two weeks ago and it was not even 24 too early for me to also download this last ep#so i've been sitting in anticipation for this for TWO WEEKS bc crunchyroll isnt allowed in japan#im just. crying#rwby volume 9 spoilers#the way we got summer rose lore... SOBBING ??? ITS BEEN 84 YEARS ???????????#i have so many questions i want to see my little boy (oscar)#jaunes '... this... is what i sounded like???' KILLED ME#i just. i have a lot of feelings every time.#i was still expecting the blacksmith / tree to be alix lowkey#AND LITTLE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
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i’m so excited to see troy’s dad i listened to the rolled today and apparently it’s not what we expect so like is he gonna be like amazing or is he going to somehow be worse then troy like what happened im so excited
#my troy playlist will definitely need edits lol but to be fair the description is ‘vibe read 2 episodes in’ it was never going to be accurat#e#also like a month ago i was so convinced w the clockwork troy theory and i still really really love it and i want it so bad but idk im not#as convinced anymore#on my pin board i have two sections for him lol#the normal section i have for everyone#and below it a section ‘merge if this turns out canon’#cause it was so fucking cool and i wanted to explore it even though its still theory#there’s also some vibe reads in there as well#i haven’t looked at it since the last two eps tho since i was so busy starting school so maybe it’s time to overhaul#i feel like my pinterest alone could get me an autism diagnosis but alas i don’t want one lmao#me and the desire to collect and ‘collage’ things that remind me of a thing#and it’s all incomprehensibly organized#i’ve said it a hundred times i’ll say it again my pinterest is somehow more embarrassing then my tumblr#i just give people my tumblr#to be fair pinterest is prolly easy to find i accidentally found condis somehow but like#i did not mean to find it either i reallllly hope his last name is already public info cause if not someone other then me could also find it#intentionally or not#cause tbh i just wanted to see if people uploaded screenshots of his mc skins or stuff#i didn’t know what to do so i immediately closed it again and proceeded to immediately forget his last name#benefits of a bad memory#accidentally learned someone’s deadname once (yearbook fucking sucks they did they same to me even after i filled out the name change form)#and i don’t remember it anymore i blocked it out lol#i forget stuff that stresses me out and knowing someone’s birth name when they don’t want people to stresses me out#anyway there’s my rambles fo today i’m so sorry#like if you’re still reading though that’s on you to be fair#my post#also hopefully i didn’t say too much about the rolled but ive seen people post whole clips so i think im okay#to be fair for me personally when i hear something about something i just want the primary source even more#like if you paraphrased it i want the EXACT WORDS FEOM THEIR MPUTH WHAT IF TOU MKSSED SOMETJING WHAT IF WHAT IF primary source my beloved
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why cant ppl that make live actions make it like the books????? guys im literally so mad rn im going feral 😭😭😭😭
#im sorry but i just watched the first 2 eps of pjo on disney and BRO#ik everybody loved it but i didnt#i did NOT feel the emotion of the books#the last time i read the first book was TWO YEARS AGO#and yet i could see PERFECTLY how different it is from the show#i can see how many things they changed and i hate when it#and a plus ik everybody in the actual fandom liked the cast#but again i did not.#im acting like a hater? probably#but i still think it does not fit w the og#and its making me go insane#this is probably a call for help
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#when i first started watching op i was like. i’ll never catch up#bc nearing on 1k episodes was so dauntinng#and ppl are always like. once youve caught up 1k episodes doesnt seem enough#and i didnt believe them! at first!#but now im caught and watching on a weekly basis#i am finding out those people were so right it doesnt feel enough 😭😭#and so i started the manga#but im on wano and close to catching up#and so then what!!!!!!!!!!!!#waiting each week for a new ep is so 😭😭#i cant imagine when i have to start waiting for new chapters 😭😭#anyways im on episode 20 of my rewatch idk how far i’ll make it#crazy considering i only started it two years ago & then caught up w/ it about this time last year#but then after the live action it made me wanna rewatch the older episodes#i truly dont know when i’ll make it outta this fixation#altho maybe i wont. its my fave show at this point and has given me tons of comfort so. who knows#personal
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trying to finally watch the righteous gemstones but hbo max has just decided not to show any captions no matter what i do so theres many lines of dialogue im just not processing
#its a good show otherwise tho#i watched ep one a couple days ago and i swear it had captions tho#no clue why suddenly starting with ep two theres none showing up when i turn them on#i even have usual tricks to get them to work bc theyre broken on lots of hbo max series and even those arent working for this
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[ID copied from alt text: Two drawings of Zuko from the live action series. In the first drawing, he's posing, smiling with one hand on his hip and another putting up a peace sign. The text next to him says "just got back from trying to kill defenseless people cowering on the ground again. #justzukothings." In the second drawing, he's sitting proper with his hands in his lap with a wide grin on his face. The text next to him says "watching a 12 year old fall to his death when i break his glider." End ID]
rewatched the live action series with some friends a bit ago. now i know what happens i've been able to focus more on characterization and zuko cracks me up. i can't tell if they were trying to make him more or less sympathetic. ep 1 he shares that hes banished and dad doesn't love him etc etc but also he tries to fry sokka immediately. he doesn't burn down kyoshi island but he's about to fry katara. there was a moment in ep 1 where aang is falling from his glider and it just kept cutting to zuko widely smiling as he plummets - literally cannot tell if he's aiming to capture or kill aang. the dissonance its so funny to me.
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omg it’s the missing women
omg ,,, 😿😿 youre there 😿😿
#so many mixed emotions about this ep#but just... ouwh..#fun fact i wrote an informal essay about this two years ago#my opinions have since changed a bit but yeah its pretty cool#wolfi gets murdoch'ed
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May i pls request fem!reader x sevika? I've been fallen for her since 3 years ago and after her scenes in ep 2 i was so in awe and giddy i need to read more of her 😭🤲
𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐊𝐀 ( ��𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐄 ) — 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐂𝐒
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ 𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖙𝖞𝖕𝖊 :: bullet points / short drabble
˚ ୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝐤𝖔𝖗𝖎 :: im absolutely in love with sevika too so this was really good timing!! ive been wanting to write for her and viktor for the longest time :3 i hope youre okay with me doing general hcs, i didnt know if you wanted anything specific so i just did this 😋 also, sorry if she turned out ooc, this is my first time writing for arcane characters 😓
[ masterlists ]
ᥫ᭡ sevika will be the most protective gf ever—anywhere you go, she’ll always be 2 steps behind looking out for you!
ᥫ᭡ its not that she doesn’t think you can take care of yourself, but its just who she is. she gets worried, especially if you’re wandering around in the undercity
ᥫ᭡ she will 100% be your biggest hype woman. whenever you wear something new for date night, you can see her pupils dilating when looking at you with a small smirk on her face
ᥫ᭡ rather than hand holding i think she would be someone to wrap her arms around your waist, almost possessive in a way. when shes not doing that though, she would want you to have a hand holding onto her biceps
ᥫ᭡ will never ever let you tag along with anything work related. shes pretty dead set on separating you with her dirty work, for your safety
ᥫ᭡ some nights when it gets bad, she just wants you to hold her. don’t say anything. don’t ask her questions. just be with her until the next morning
ᥫ᭡ she loves to bring you back little trinkets or accessories from her missions that she thinks you’ll like / will look good on you. she would never admit it, but her heart always skips a beat when she sees you wearing something that she got for you herself
ᥫ᭡ lives for teasing/banter arguments. she finds it so hot when youre all riled up and mad at her, because she knows that she’ll make it up to you later anyways ( WHAAAT 😦 )
ᥫ᭡ she has insane mood swings on her period. one time, she accidentally snapped at you while you were trying to tell her about your day, and she felt so incredibly shitty for like 2 months
ᥫ᭡ sometimes, she gets nightmares of you dying in her arms due to an enforcer attack. its a reoccurring dream, and whenever she jolts awake in a cold sweat, you reassure her that you’re still there. you’re alive, and you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.
ᥫ᭡ sevika finds it adorable when you give her little nicknames. “vika”, “sevi” , “baby” , and “big mama” ( hehe ) are her favorites
ᥫ᭡ tries to have a date night at least once every two weeks. of course she would like it if it happened more often, but with her schedule its just not possible. when you two do go on dates though, she makes sure to go all out and make it the most enjoyable experience for you
ᥫ᭡ her coworkers are so surprised at how soft she has gotten because of you. she has something to fight for other than zaun now, and once they get their promised land then she’ll finally settle down with you and live through the rest with you by her side
#𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐢 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 ⭑.ᐟ#arcane x reader#arcane#arcane x y/n#arcane x you#arcane x reader fluff#sevika x reader#arcane sevika#sevika arcane#sevika x reader fluff#sevika x reader arcane#sevika x female reader#arcane x female reader#arcane fic#sevika fic#sevika fluff#arcane fluff#arcane x chubby! reader#arcane x chubby reader#sevika x chubby reader#sevika x black reader#arcane x black reader#arcane x black female reader#sevika x black female reader
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i see all these comments talking about this after the new episode, but. i would like to state for the record that stolitz isn't. toxic.
first off, the concept of a toxic and a healthy relationship are such... vague terms. when you're online, drenched in language and tight moral boundaries, trying to put a nuanced story like helluva boss's into boxes is easy to attempt and impossible to do.
a toxic relationship is one where one or both parties is maliciously affecting the other. I'm talking fetid, nasty, rude interactions where there is more hurt than love. they're unhappy more often than not when they're with their partner, there's no respect or give from the other side.
stolitz is nothing like that.
Stolas actively cares about Blitz and actually has no fear or hesitation in ADMITTING IT OUT LOUD TO OZZIE. he has been calling, texting, commenting, laughing and finding ways to spend time with Blitz. he's throwing everything he has to the wind, finding the courage to move forward with the divorce, putting everything he has into trying to keep him. he's been alone in a palace since he was born, on medication, with such less people dear to him that he remembered the circus boy who spent a day with him DECADES ago- so when blitz comes into his life and brings back in laughter and color and sex, he's holding on with everything he's got.
and blitz does care!!! he cares a LOT, the whole series we see him falling in love with stolas through SHOW NOT TELL (his expressions, his choices, his fear, his lashing out) and utterly unable to process that stolas cares about him too when talking to fizz; almost a desperate kind of denial-
cause yknow. the first time he tried to confess something to someone he really liked, he accidentally killed half the people he knew and ruined the lives of the rest?
thats gonna leave just a teensy impact on the will to express your emotions in the future, methinks.
even before that, he clearly felt like on some level that he was unworthy and he's said twice that he despises himself for the accident even though it wasn't actually his fault. being self aware doesn't stop the emotions from emotioning.
he keeps insisting its only sex so urgently to anyone who doesn't ask because he can't even imagine it being anything else. he's both disappointed and relieved when he repeats that stolas sees him as a novelty, because what else can it be?
(there's a whole other spiel of how brave both Stolas and Blitz have to be to say it out loud even when asmodeus can't afford to, considering how publically and completely beaten down both were at the club.)
(there's also another whole spiel about how frustrating it has been for ME to see all these comments over time with such bad takes based on like,, 20 min worth of info of a show that takes months to release an ep. like godDAMN have some patience?? let the story UNFOLD MAYBE? IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLANATION WHY WOULD YOU CRITICIZE THINGS THAT ARENT EVEN FINISHED ESPECIALLY AN INDIE ANIMATION- i digress)
mind you, this has NOTHING to do with abuse. an abusive relationship is one where one is actively harming the other with full awareness. Stella is an abuser and their marriage is abusive.
and stolitz isn't that; it isn't even unhealthy or toxic. it's a consensual, transactional fuckbuddy relationship that slid into something more for both of them.
but!!!!! one of the main reasons for the problems that everyone looks over is-
they're in a BDSM relationship.
I can't possibly delve into dynamics without making this a 10k research paper BUT even though we've gotten only hints and costumes and dialogue- they're very clearly and undeniably in a BDSM contract. Behind the scenes of this crazy show is a whole different story, of these two delving into the most hardcore kinks out there- knifeplay, painplay, bondage.
if you've gotten into the community, if you've read a couple dozen particularly good fics by authors who know what they're talking about, hell; even if your only experience is fifty shades or 365 or whatever- you gotta know that BDSM scenes are crazy fucking emotionally heavy. there's so much that has gone down between them during their full moons that helluva can't get into!!
but you know how in so many of these popular medias and fics, the dom in the relationship is also like,, the billionaire/mafia heir/prince, etc, the one with financial and physical power? this isnt that. it has been very clearly stated that stolas is subbing, blitz is domming.
now take a moment and think about how much that fucks up the dynamics.
in stolas' eyes, blitz is a confident, dangerous individual who's an old friend and cherished memory of his, who he's trusted wholly with his safety during sex and he's lucky to have; and he has been in an abusive arranged marriage for the past eighteen Years, he's probably not going to be pushing his luck with his dom that much in the first place. plus, blitz is never cowed by him during their conversations- think back to the first phone call right after he stole the book, completely unafraid.
and for blitz, it's someone trusting him again- but it's also a royal- a blue blood who's nearly untouchable and so much more powerful- who couldn't possibly like a piece of shit like him, apart from the sex he gets out of it. he only flirts once he gets some sort of cue from Stolas; he's desperately trying to view this as only a Goetia trying to get his rocks off, despite all the evidence to the contrary, because anything else is unfathomable to him, no matter how clearly Stolas shows it, because of the ptsd.
both of them thinks the other has the power. both of them aren't expecting the other to keep shut if something's bothering them.
and there's so much conflicting messages from the other too!
stolas calls him a plaything when trying to intimidate the humans; stolas cups his face gently and asks if he's alright
blitz asks him on a date and tells him to get better soon; blitz yells that it's only sex and doesn't reply to his messages
ya see?
bring it to fizzozzie for a second now; even though they do look all good on surface, you can still see fizz's trauma and doubt in all their interactions, they're still forced to keep the relationship secret. do you see his face when Ozzie says in hyperbole that he's never leaving the house again, or when someone accuses him of being a pampered house pet or when he got sexualized in the 7th ep? whatever happened in the interim between the accident with mammon, it fucked him UP. even though oz seems to be well aware of this when he tells him not to apologise and in their general interactions, fizz still visibly has trouble separating plaything/commodity from healthy relationship.
shout the fuck out to Ozzie btw, man knows whats UP. rooting for these two so much omg.
i forgot where I was going with this point, I'll edit it when i remember. but yeah! lovely fucking relationship, but damn what angst filled issues.
anyway, to sum up- stolitz is not a toxic relationship. the relationship is stuck sludging through misunderstandings and careless microaggressions and trauma responses, but it's not unhealthy or toxic because of the simple reason that most of the current hurt comes from... a misunderstanding. stolas didn't realise blitz would need reassurance about what they were and blitz didn't see stolas as someone who could get hurt.
unecessarily calling it toxic, even online, is more impactful than people think too. almost all spindlehorse ARE on all social medias; so MANY YouTube animators i know have found jobs there; they see your words, especially since a lot don't tag posts with "anti hb" correctly to keep them out of the main tag. there are Very few queer medias made BY queer people that haven't gone through heavy corporate revisions- helluva boss is practically a historical landmark in its success. it's very very very fucking easy to forget that not ten years ago some of the only queer videos on YouTube were butter lover (one kiss at the end post credits), dirty paws and welcome to hell (subtext).
the amount of "critical talk" helluva boss gets for what it is is very unprecedented. it's a beautiful show. can't wait for the next episode.
#helluva boss#stolas#blitz#stolitz#fizzarolli#helluva boss ozzie#okay im gonna make SO much content but i had to get this off my chest first#because so many people were like omg fizzozzie is so healthy stolitz take a lesson!!#and theres so much more nuance to it thats its so. frustrating to see a statement like that#meta#anyways#i love this fucjing show
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loml | spencer reid
summary; after you and spencer reunite at JJ’s wedding after being broken up for two years, you are quick to realise it will never be the same as it was, you’re the love of his life, and he is the loss of yours.
warnings; exes to not lovers but something!! no happy ending, angst, fem reader, season 7 spence, mentions of arguments, falling back into feelings because its familiar, they are so in love, jj’s childhood friend!reader, reader wears a dress, no use of y/n cus ew, reader has long enough hair to have up, they are so meant to be its not even funny, everyone can see it. they are perfect for each other TIME IS MEAN!!!
an; hey this was ur fault ! also i made so much shit up abt the wedding because i cbf rewatching that ep tbh 🥰🥰
‘what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye’ is this fic
also this was written in an hour and im sick and im pretty sure its horrible and doesn’t make sense but thats so okay!! lmk if u want a part two!! they deserve better pls want a part two!!
‘Who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames? If we know the steps anyway. we embroidered the memories, of the time I was away, stitching, "We were just kids, babe", I said, "I don't mind, it takes time" I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed. I felt aglow like this, never before and never since. if you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary. you and I go from one kiss to gettin married. still alive, killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried. in your suit and tie, in the nick of time. you lowdown boy, you stand up guy, holy ghost, you told me I'm, the love of your life’
You remembered it all too well.
The lights gleamed around the garden, there was some background music playing, quietly in the distance, probably louder for the people surrounding it. Whereas you had found yourself settled in a quieter corner of the beautifully set garden. The ceremony was beautiful, you sat through and tried to avoid shedding tears seeing someone so important so happy.
You were alone, watching the guests of the wedding dance when you felt the presence behind you. The familiar cologne filled your senses in a way that made your head spin and chest ache with familiarity and overwhelming comfort. Two years since you and smelt the cologne and it still had the same effect on you.
You remembered the conversation as if it was a broken record playing on repeat in your mind. How your head turned towards him and the smile lit up his face. Its not like you had ended on bad terms — not at all. It was a mutual agreement to break up all those years ago. You were just at two different points in your lives and it was beginning to clash.
His voice was gentle when he said your name. You had seen him around earlier, your heart had skipped a beat and your stomach filled with familiar butterflies, but you didn’t approach him. Now here he was, standing in front of you, saying your name as if no time had passed at all.
You repeated his name back, a smile on your face as you stood up from the white garden chair that had been delicately placed around the table. His arms enveloped you almost as soon as you were standing. You could recall the way they felt, safe, secure and the exact same as they had two years beforehand.
“You look great” He had mumbled into your hair, his hands pressing against the small of your back, furthering your presence against him, trailing of the silk of the floor length dress you had worn, face buried into your hair as if he had been waiting his entire life for this moment.
Your hands rested on the back of either of his shoulders, head resting against the front of his shoulder. You were sure he could feel the small breath of air you let out against his neck before you pulled yourself away from the hug. “So do you. It’s been so long.” You had said, eyes trailing over his face, taking in every noticeable change since the last time you had seen him.
“Too long.” He agreed, eyes mirroring yours as they danced along your features, as if he was committing it to memory.
The words had made your chest tighten and warm all at once. It wasn’t long before you were sitting at an empty table, catching up. You told him about everything that had changed in your time apart as did you. And then the topic swiftly changed as the two of you danced along fond memories of your years spent together.
��We were so young” He mumbled after you had recalled a specific memory of the two of you having pillow fights on late Saturday nights, a small thing that became a common ritual every night Spencer had been home on a Saturday. Your smiled had widened at his words — although only two years ago the maturity between you both and grown massively.
He added quickly as he reached out to take your hand, a familiar movement you had been neglected of the last two years. “I was too young, immature.. You always deserved more than what I could’ve given you then.” His words were sweet and sincere yet you begged to differ.
“I think that was the happiest i’ve ever been.” You recalled. Everyday spent with Spencer was a memory you kept safe in a secure part of your mind. You looked back at photos from that time, there was a certain gleam in your eye, one that wasn’t found in any photo recently, despite being content with your place in life currently.
Being with Spencer was a sort of fever dream, a sort of perfect you’d only find in a film or a romance novel, things like falling asleep while he read to you, or slow dancing in the dim moon light that gleamed through the kitchen window at late hours, small love notes left around the house, that was something that you failed to find anywhere else — not for a lack of looking.
His eyes stayed on yours, his skin glowing under the warmed yellow lighting of the fairy lights that dazzled the garden with their gleam, his eyes holding a certain sparkle you could only describe as nostalgia. “Me too.” He had said, eyes dropping from yours to your hand in his.
You didn’t know what to say. Your heart soared with the warmth from his touch, your mind fogging from any sense of realism, until your thumb traced his knuckles and it lacked the familiarity everything else did. His hands had grown rougher, more callous although the same soft in your touch.
“Dance with me?” He offered, eyes lifting to meet yours again. Voice gentle and barely above a whisper as if he was scared you would reject him, maybe even more scared you would accept and it wouldn’t be the same as it was.
You nodded, accepting anyways.
His hands dragged yours to the crowd of other people dancing. His hands moved to wrap gently around your waist, your arms slinging over his shoulders to wrap around his neck as his arms pulled you in close. Chest to chest. Heart to heart.
The music fell into background noise as your focus was pulled instead to the sound of his gentle breathing, and slow heartbeat as his head rested atop of yours that was press into his shoulder. You fell into step as if no time had passed at all, you swayed gently in his arms.
“I’ve missed you.” His words came out as a whisper and your heart pulled. This was wrong, you could feel it in your stomach yet the thought was quickly replaced by the feeling of home that buried itself in your ribcage as his hands trailed gently up and down your sides in a soothing familiar motion.
You wanted to reply and tell him you had missed him too, that every night you laid in bed and recalled every last moment between you too. How people from your past still asked about him, how their faces fell when you laughed and admitted you were no longer together.
You wanted to tell him that in the time that had passed you had still the framed photos in a box under your bed, how you hadn’t changed a single detail in your apartment just in case one day he came over. You wanted it to be familiar.
It was, This was. Everything about Spencer was familiar and it was safe.
“I think we needed the time.” You exhaled out, honestly. Maybe if you were to try again now it would end up differently. Maybe he was right in what he said earlier — you were both too immature to handle the intensity of the love the streamed between you. The pull that seemed magnetic the minute your eyes laid on his.
He hummed gently as his arms stopped their movements on your side and instead rewrapped themselves around your waist, dancing down your back, holding you close as he inhaled your scent. This was all he ever wanted.
“Everyone still tells me I was a fool for letting you go, that I was meant to be with you. I think they were right.” He mumbled out into your hair. You remembered being told the same thing. You remembered your friends telling you how sorry they were and how they could have never imagined you and Spencer ever breaking up, ‘you guys were the great love story’ they had rambled.
You shook your head against his shoulder. It was meant to happen like that. Maybe this was all you would ever be. Meant to happen, but never actually happening.
“Maybe” You exhaled, unable to bring yourself to say more as you relished in the moment. The distance of the last two years between you both seemed to disappear as your focus remained on everything that was the same.
The difference, he was different, you were different. Your likes and dislikes had changed, as you assumed his. How if you were to try again you would have to relearn one another. Everything he once knew about you was a distant memory, a familiar reminder of what had once been. Of what was once lost.
His lips pressed against the side of your head and your heart pressed against your chest uncomfortably as your heart beat increased. His hands left a burning trail on your skin even over the fabric of your dress. It was too similar, and too different all at once.
The love between you and Spencer was loud. You loved each other loudly. It was never meant to be a secret, everyone saw it in the shared glances, even now, in the way his touch was significantly gentler with you than anyone else, how your body relaxed in his grasp.
The love between you was loudest in the silence.
Everyone could see it.
Your mind burnt with the memory of the night you broke up, he brought the idea of a breakup up. He suggested it and you whole heartedly agreed. Not for a lack of love. You both mutually expressed the amount of love you had for each other throughout the entire conversation. It just wasn’t the right time. The conversation happened, he mumbled out ‘don’t be a stranger’ as he kissed your forehead in the doorway of your home.
You had let out a wet chuckle as his fingers brushed away the tears that stained your cheeks, similar ones on his own. You agreed, he mumbled an I love you, and then a ‘ill see you soon’
And you hadn’t seen him since.
Until now.
You hadn’t been bitter about it. You were partially glad you hadn’t seen him. You knew if given the chance in those two years you would’ve ran back to him in an instant. Told him how you were sure your heart hadn’t been beating regularly without him by your side, then listened to him ramble about the science of broken heart syndrome as you pressed soft kisses against every inch of his face.
“Whats going on in your pretty head?” He asked. You let out a laugh at his sweet words. The sentence something he had used numerous times throughout the years of your relationship whenever you found yourself lost in thought.
Everything had changed, yet stayed the exact same.
“I don’t think I’ll ever move on from us.” You mumbled out honestly. The words a weight on your chest, a truth that had been buried down your throat you failed to admit to anyone else.
His touch provided a specific burn against your skin, his voice playing an irreplaceable melody in your mind, his sweet words and whispered nothings written on every butterfly that filled your stomach, his eyes unparalleled to another. the feeling in your chest that only he could arise. the smile on your face only he could provide, the gleam in your eyes only present when he was too.
He had left a mark on you, your relationship had left you in a daze for the last two years without you even realising it. nothing would provide the same fulfilment as being by his side did.
Every feeling with him had been new and original, a sort of happiness you didn’t know was humanly possible. You were pretty sure he provided you with a dangerous amount of dopamine, an addictive amount.
If Spencer was a drug, then you had been going through withdrawals for years.
“I know I will never move on from us” His admission carried a different weight than yours did. Despite being the same the meaning was different.
it left your heart heavy and regret flowering in your chest.
“I should go, I told my roommate i’d be home early.” You whispered out, against the soft fabric of his suit jacket. His arms tightened around you momentarily before releasing his hold on you.
His eyes were lidded when he looked down at your face, your arms fell from his shoulders and your stomach twisted at the familiarity of the loss of his touch.
“Don’t be a stranger.” He said, voice quiet, meaningful and honest and you felt an overwhelming urge to vomit. Everything left unsaid over the last two years coming up in the back of your throat but remaining unsaid.
“I won’t.” You promised.
His lips pressed against your forehead as he squeezed your waist gently, before letting you go.
The movement was natural, like you would spend every day of the rest of your life doing it. as if you would wake up in the morning tangled a-mess in his arms, the you would find yourself a giggling mess during a pillow fight on an upcoming Saturday night. As if you were finally going to happen.
You didn’t see him again after you left that night.
You burnt with the memory of his arms and his lips against your skin that night for the next years of your life.
For a love so loud everything seemed so quiet. You recalled the goodbye between you two that seemed so peaceful and tame, an understatement of the love that blossomed when in one another’s presence.
An invalidation of everything he had made you feel.
For a great love story, someone had to experience a great loss.
And he was yours.
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foodie
been obsessed with chicken shop date ep w lando so you already know…(this oneshot is really bad sorry)
sorry ive been ia:/ i will be updating let you break my heart again this week!!!!! hope you’re all doing well<3 love, sof!
ynfoodtrip
liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and 6,383,282 others ynfoodtrip link in bio 🧡
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ynsfoodie
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ynsfoodie no because wtf is LANDO NORRIS doing with my wife subtly FLIRTING WITH HER AND ASKING HER TO FOLLOW HIM BACK😭😭😭😭😭 SHE GAVE NO NOTICE FOR THIS VIDEO.
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ynsbabe she just followed him back😭
ynfoodtrip
liked by landonorris, and 2,188,282 others
ynfoodtrip Just a casual Wednesday, you?
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landonorris My boo😍
⤷ ynfoodtrip my pookie😘🧡
⤷ landonorris What’s a pookie
⤷ ynfoodtrip means you’re cute
landonorris Having a wonderful morning, thank you for the follow! ⤷ ynfoodtrip Good to know, hope it carries on that way!
ynsbabe … GET AWAY LANDO NORRIS SHE WAS MINE FIRST
user1 i can’t even blame Lando, look at her!!!
[ liked by landonorris ]
| MESSAGES BETWEEN YN AND LANDO
LANDO SPEEDY DRIVER
you think i’m cute?
YN FOOD EXPERT
Did i give off the impression I didn’t think that?
LANDO SPEEDY DRIVER
I don’t want to assume;)
| MESSAGES BETWEEN CARLOS AND LANDO
CARL IN CARLANDO
My pookie🥹😍❤️🤙😏
LANDO IN CARLANDO
Shutttupppppp
I don’t know how to flirt help me
CARL IN CARLANDO
You flirted for a good 10 minutes in your Youtube video, disgusting
LANDO IN CARLANDO
i really like herrrrr but i dont know how to let her know mate
CARL IN CARLANDO
Take her out to dinner
ynfoodtrip
liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and others
ynfoodtrip 10/10
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user4 if i didn’t know better i’d think this was a date with lando norris….
ynsupdate THE TWO PLATES AND WINE 😭😭😭
landonorris’ instagram story | ♫ my girl • temptations
replies
user3 THIS IS SO BOYFRIEND CODED
user2 i see you yn….
user5 LANDO BF ERA
carlossainz55 I’m guessing the date 2 months ago went well😂
⤷ landonorris Very well
⤷ landonorris My rizz was enough😜
⤷ carlossainz55 Why are you lying...
ynfoodtrip
liked by landonorris, and 4,283,585 others
ynfoodtrip It’s so romantic in Parissss
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sabrinacarpenter 🧡🧡🧡
user1 so gf coded.
user7 we know it’s lando, yn… STOP SOFT LAUNCHING ITS BEEN 3 MONTHS
user8 would’ve been believable it wasnt lando if he continued commenting on her posts like he did for 10 months😭
ynfoodtrip
liked by landonorris, and 7,262,585 others
ynfoodtrip
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landonorris my boo (for real this time)
user2 the no caption is so real
carlossainz55 Hello, sister in law! 👧
⤷ landonorris mate..
⤷ ynfoodtrip Hi, Carlos Sainz Brotha in law! 👶
⤷ user38 THE BABY EMOJI😭
landonorris
liked by ynfoodtrip, and 9,473,684 others
landonorris been in love with you before that video that further made me want to spend every millisecond with you
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ynfoodtrip ngl ive been following your f1/ karting journey since you were 11…..
⤷ landonorris WHY AM I JUST FINDING OUT AHOUT THIS
ynfoodtirp i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuüùúūûü:)
⤷landonorris i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuüùúūûüuuuuuüùúūûüuuuuuüùúūûü too:)
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