#its too late for a bath i procrastinated too long

[confetti-critter]

We're starting work half an hour later so now we get to sleep for a bit longer but I dont care bruh work is stinky stupid I hate it there

[xtrablak674]

Mentally Not There

I have reason to believe that I have been depressed for the last couple of weeks or so, the curious thing is I don't think there's a specific cause. And just so the studio audience understands depression can be like that, there aren't always specific triggers, you could just be going through an emotional slump. During this time I have journaled nearly daily, documenting my thoughts and feelings which has been one of the tools I use to keep my mental health in good condition. Frankly I don't think this has been helping lately.

Now I haven't bathed recently other than my daily faux-bidet after my bowel movements. I know Ms. Kennedy had said maintaining my hygiene is a good way to keep regular patterns in my life, in the same way I do with my sleep patterns. But I frankly wasn't feeling it, and like astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson I don't actually stink or smell. I did when I was younger, but that was back when my diet was different and my schedule much more busy. Jeez I stopped using deodorant years ago because of all the chemicals. Even during my year long stint with the Census all of the habits I picked up during my seven year long employment-desert I stuck with, I didn't wear underwear, socks or deodorant.

This isn't what I was talking about, I was talking about how mentally I am just not been feeling there. For the last two or is it three years I have done my yoga religiously everyday. I think the first year I took the weekends off, now I do all seven days of the week. It has become as regular as brushing my teeth, well maybe not that, because I do also sometimes go days without doing that too.

There are curious behaviors you can develop when you live by yourself and don't have a lot of social contact. Things that other folks take for granted can fall to the wayside. I am pleased that I have given myself the grace to understand that my lapses in hygiene are directly related to my depression and not just random behavior.

You can feel when something is off, like I usually do my yoga as soon as the sun comes up, finding that doing it in the dark just didn't feel right. What I found myself doing this morning was deliberately procrastinating the start of my practice. The conflict I am having is between the habit and allowing myself the grace to have an off-day. I have gotten better at forgiving myself for needing days off, but deep-down I still want to push myself to continue my daily habit, if not for my mental health, for my waist-line!

Even writing this journal entry was a way of delaying or maybe giving more thought to the inevitable exercise this morning. Right now I am sitting on the proverbial fence. I am letting this sun on my back try to encourage and inspire me to do what I need to do, but that is a double-edged sword, because I love sitting in the early morning sun, which in some way feels warmer and more nurturing than the later-day sun.

When you have an ongoing relationship with depression it can sometimes be elusive when your status has changed and you have slipped below homeostasis. For me its so familiar and always present since I have been diagnosed with Dysthymia, which means you are basically depressed all the time. I do have whole swaths of good days and weeks and then slowly something will change.

The one thing about writing is it helps me to be more conscious and present of subtle changes. My sleep patterns have been pretty regular, to bed at 9 PM and up at 5 AM like clock work, usually waking up to-the-minute at 4:59 AM every morning without an alarm clock, I have never used one as an adult. I have gotten to a better place with my food, discovering that my dried mango slices actually help me to keep a more regular bowel, which pleases me in innumerable ways. #💩

The place where I have noticed a lack of energy or enthusiasm has been in my weekly chores, right now iOs has like four reminders that I have more or less put off or have procrastinated in addressing. One of them is changing the sheets on my bed, which should have been changed on Monday, the other is dropping off the laundry because I have like one more set of sheets left.

I'm supposed to change the black filter on my air purifier which I haven't even as much as looked at. I am also supposed to wash the filter in my Dyson vacuum, which is usually a delay even when my depression is less obvious, because I hate going a day without my vacuum even though there are some days I don't vacuum. The most recent reminder is to change my turntable stylus, which is usually one I ignore because I don't think the guidelines are as hard as the manual suggest. Lastly I am supposed to log-in to my retirement account, which I have set a reminder to do every three months.

This is what I have assessed, life is work. Even though I haven't had an official job or employment since leaving the Census. Every day living has things you must do, and one of the clear signs of a progressing or lingering depression is my lack of ability or desire to do these daily task. Right now I am still not feeling any more inspired to do my yoga even though I had already cued up the YouTube video and all I need to do is hit play. I have done the same yoga session for the last two years and my body nearly does the movement on automatic with very little thought or prodding.

I seriously just wish there was an app, I am low-key being facetious, but it would be so much easier to just have a notification that says, 'Your depression is spiraling ever so slightly, you may want to take the following precautions.' I have been toying with one of those precautions like just taking a shower, but the depression is like, that will take so much effort, turning those knobs, pulling that curtain, stepping into the tub, squeezing out that soap lets just call the whole thing off. #🚿

The wonderful thing about my last round of therapy is Ms. Kennedy really did outfit me with a wonderful set of tools that helps me maintain my Dysthymia so much better, but there are times when the edges began to wear a little thin and you need to get a booster shot. I think that is the phase I am currently in, and I am doing my best to try to weather the storm until it passes, which it always eventually does.

One thing I don't really do about my depressive slumps is talk to others about them, I don't really find that helpful. Now my only real concern is my nibling is coming for a visit at the end of next week for a week, and I have done little to nothing to prepare for this visit. There are little things to do like get the rug, and pillowcases cleaned which means I can probably bring it all down at once, bed sheets, pillow cases and rug.

Then there's cleaning which also isn't a huge task since the house is clean just need to do wet-wiping and light dusting. But this is the kicker, when you can't even maintain the daily tasks you have to do, how can you find the energy to do extra tasks, and that is totally my challenge over the next week to fight past my depressive slump so I can get the things I need to get done before the little one arrives. This can be one of the crosses to bare when you're living with mental health issues.

[Photo by Brown Estate]

[iheartchv]

Hiya 😊 might I ask for a 🍒🌿 mistletoe matchup please, dc fandom 🍒🌿

I am female and would like either a male or female match or both if its not too much to ask xx

Female. Brunette. Blue eyes. Not tall/152cm-ish. 45kg. Irish. Ace. Early twenties. No tattoos. No piercings. Bilingual (gaeilge agus béarla). INJF. Leo. Procrastinator. I'm a librarian but if I could be anything I'd like to be an explorer in the 1800s setting off into the unknown on a big wooden sailing ship- yes I would die and yes if they realised a woman was on board I'd be dumped off somewhere but shhh. Or I'd like to be a P.I in a 40s noir book/movie.

Likes~ Winter. Tea. Reading fics. Music. Talking to myself. Cafes. Long walks alone. Shopping. Perfume. Makeup. Daydreaming. My vintage dresses, I think they're so cool esp the 1970s and 1920s one. Watching Brooklyn Nine Nine.

celebrity crushes ~ Emma Roberts 💖. Frank Sinatra. Brie Larson. Felix Mallard. Willa Holland. Chance Perdomo.

//sorry for this being late, got called in on my dayoff before I could finish this. Decided to do both ♀️♂️ for you ^^

I match you with...

Harley Quinn❤🖤 and Iron Man/Tony Stark❤💛

Both of them are ENFPs, which are supposed to be soulmates to your (INJF) personality

They both are total opposites of you

But they both have a witty mind

And like that you too have an intelligent/witty mind as well

They will playfully tease you as they try to get to know you more

As well as ask questions

They will want to spend all their time around just you, despite their extroverted personality

When you start dating Harley/Tony, she/he will show you how much they care about you

They are expressive for sure

They won't push you to do something that makes you uncomfortable

Only if you want to

Harley and Tony will protect you from any harm

Harley especially won't let any supervillian harm or touch a hair on your head

She'll even protect you from the Joker if she had to (assuming that she's falling out of love with him because you are actually giving her love back in return)

Cuddles and hugs and kisses

Only the sweetest of things for you

Massages on your shoulders and your neck

Running you a warm bath

They know it must be a little stressful working as a librarian, knowing that not many people go to libraries anymore and its stressful to make money keep them open

Tony would buy the library for you

No amount of money is worth more than your happiness

Harley would probably want to try to rob a bank to help, but decide not to because she want to better herself for you

And whether by text, phone call, or face to face, they will tell you that they love you

🖤❤💛🖤❤💛🖤❤💛

🎀 lmk if you'd like to be tagged in any/all of my work 🎀

[levicanpunchme]

I love your writing so much 😭😭😭 can I request ReaderxLevi they’re married after the war and treated Falco and Gabi as their owns? thank youuu

A/N: Thank you😭 I’m sorry this is a little late but I was procrastinating so much. I hope you like it ❤️

———————————————————————

Levi X Y/N

Genre: Romance/Fluff/Tiny Angst

Warning: Major Manga Spoilers ⚠️

Lucky To Be Alive

The kitchen was bathed in bright orange, soft strokes of wind travelling through the window, swaying against your frame. There was a distant sound of birds murmuring but it was overpowered by the bubbling of water. You were currently making tea for your husband, just the way he liked. He had taught you his intricate method of brewing tea, so specific that he strongly recommended boiling water on the stove and not a microwave. His tea tasting skills were so sharp, he could tell the difference in taste immediately. You knew because you had tried tricking him once.

You were pouring the steaming water into the cup when muscular arms wrapped around your waist, embracing you. You didn’t flinch because you recognised your husband’s scent immediately but froze in between your actions when you felt his body’s warmth against yours.

It was too warm-the kind where you assumed he had been sitting in the depths of hellfire for hours.

“Levi, why’re you so hot!” You screeched, dropping the strainer as you looked over your shoulder, horrified. You met his silver gaze looking at you in a daze. His lips then curled into a dizzying smile and he chuckled like he was drunk, catching you off guard.

“Why thank you for noticing-isn’t it a little too late for a confession. I’m already married to you,” his words abrasively slurred, his head lolling into your neck and his eyes glinting as if he was actually losing his marbles.

You quickly turned in his arms which were still fastened around your waist and gasped at the sight. The rim of Levi’s nose and his cheeks were stained red, his narrow eyes squinting more than usual. You anxiously placed your hands on his jaw, cupping his oval face. The touch burned your palms. You frowned, your heart palpitating. “Levi, you’re burning up,” you frantically muttered. “I think you’ve caught a fever.”

He stared at you silently for a moment and then his gaze flicked in realisation. He nodded. “Ah, I was wondering why my body feels like someone threw me into a cauldron to cook me up,” he rasped, lightheartedly.

You didn’t laugh. You pushed his arms away, earning a groan from him, which you ignored. You grabbed his hand, pulling him along with you. You noticed Levi didn’t fight your hold and your concern grew larger, realising, he probably didn’t have the strength to disobey. You headed to your bedroom and sat him down on the sheets.

“No, I’m tired of laying around,” he rasped. “Let’s go to the new amusement park you wanted to visit so badly,” he suggested and you looked at him like he had grown two heads.

“You don’t even like amusement parks,” you muttered, reminded of the time when he called them too loud and social.

“Yeah, but you like them.” Your heart fluttered at the softness in his tone. He always acted too tough but was unknowingly the most expressive man you knew.

“I’ll get you some tea. Lay down,” you urged, pushing at his toned chest. Unwillingly, he persisted your motion but when you glared daggers his way, he cowered like a young boy and laid down, his head resting against the headboard. You eyed him narrowly once again, silently warning him to stay in place and then hurried to the kitchen, hoping tea was still warm.

You touched the rim of the handle and flinched at the burning sensation it left on your fingers. Relieved, you placed the cup on a saucer and jogged back into the room. Levi was sat upright, his eyes shut and breathing heavy. You approached him in the blink of an eye, giving him the freshly brewed tea.

“It’s exactly the way you like it,” you whispered, a concerned smile uplifting your lips. He surveyed the cup and then brought it up to his pale lips to drink. You patiently waited for his reaction.

He was silent for a moment, but you could tell he liked it because he was already sipping some more and more. You still waited for his praise. Levi had praised you for everything but your tea making and at this point, it was an obstacle you had to conquer- to feel the taste of sweet victory as you finally marked this off your checklist.

“It’s darker than normal.”

You wanted to smack him so bad. Your fists clenched in annoyance as you rolled your eyes at him; no matter how great of a tea you made, he would always have something to add against it.

Levi, on the other hand, sat grinning as he sipped more of the simmering tea. His inner conscience was telling him to confess the truth, the truth being that the tea was fucking beautiful-just the way he liked, perfect colour, temperature and flavour but he wanted to tease you and watch the feisty glow inside your irises bloom.

You restrained from throwing a tantrum over his lies, all your attention driven towards another issue at the moment: Levi’s health.

“Levi, it doesn’t seem like you’ve caught a cold. Have your wounds been infected again?” You worriedly placed your hand on his free one, feeling the feverish heat radiating off his body.

It had been five years since the battle of heaven and earth, five years since Levi Ackerman lost fragments of his soul into the greatest turmoil of humanity. During the battle, your allies were brutally killed-murdered, yet the whole time, you prayed for his safety. He was in no position to fight but you knew he couldn’t back away. There were things only the greatest solider of this era could’ve achieved.

Levi‘s skin was a canvas of his pain; the wounds were deeply carved into his skin, telling the story of a solider who fought with all his might. His beautiful face was struck in the middle from a sharp blade, a large scar embedded in the right side of his face, elongating all the way to his eye. The mound around his ears was burned and tore off due to immense heat exposure. This was just the tip of the iceberg: Levi’s body was scarred thousand times over.

Levi didn’t answer immediately. He took his time, ingesting the last two sips. Then he placed the cup on the side table and stared into your eyes. “I’ve survived countless wars. A mere fever won’t kill me,” he said expressionless, making your guts twist in agony.

You feigned ignorance like his comment didn’t just dig at your heart. If that was his way of comforting you, then damn he sucked at it.

“I’ll make you some stew,” you told him and stood up to leave but he quickly grabbed your wrist, pulling you back.

“No, stay with me,” his eyes reminded you of the time when everything finally ended, when the rumbling stopped and the war was won. At that time, he didn’t look like he had won anything. Levi had battled against Titans all his life but when, the curse of the Eldians had faced its destruction, Levi’s grey orbs were faraway, in another land.

Your body tightened in concern and you sat back down on the bed, beside him. He held your hand, surveying you, and traced his thumbs along your knuckles.

The silence was suddenly interrupted when you heard heavy footsteps hit your porch. You looked at the main door in anticipation and then the sound of a bike’s ringing resounded. The door opened hurriedly and at first you caught sight of brown hair swaying and then in rushed Gabi. You smiled as she came rushing inside.

“Y/n!” She dashed inside, the aroma of freshly baked cookies diffusing into the room. The petite brown-haired devil was now an honourable soldier of the country.

Five years ago, if someone had told you that you’d be visited by a Marley warrior, you’d have called them crazy. However, after the war it was like living in a new world. Marley, despite their reluctance, were forced to forgive and forget. It was the only way out for the remaining 20% of humanity to not fall into extinction. Intermarriages between Marley and the Eldians grew rapidly after the revival of earth. It took years but things had finally begun to settle.

“Oi, how’d this brat get in?” Levi narrowly stared at Gabi, his eyebrow arched in scepticism. Gabi glared at him, her brown eyes glinting with annoyance. “The door was open,” she muttered.

“Weren’t you here like yesterday?” Levi again said nonchalantly and you stared at him wide eyed, giving him the ‘shut up’ look.

Gabi clenched her fist frustratedly. “I’m not here for you grouchy pants,” she yelled and then turned towards you, ecstatically. “Y/n, I’ve brought you cookies from the new bakery that opened on our street,” the wide eyed girl cheered, handing you the bag of goods.

“I love cookies! Thank you so much Gabi!” You graciously smiled, ruffling her hair.

“I told her you liked them.” You heard a silvery voice from behind and turned to see Falco, against the wooden door, holding his baseball cap in one hand as he smiled. The scared little boy who’s biggest dream was to marry Gabi was now an aspiring baseball player.

“Oi, who told you she likes cookies,” Levi’s threatening voice emerged and poor Falco shrunk against his cold gaze. You rolled your eyes at your husband.

“Well, I-uh-I saw her making some the other day and assumed that she liked them-I didn’t mean to-” the teen stuttered over his words, incredibly disturbed.

“Don’t mind him. Thank you Falco,” you chimed, standing to ruffle his hair.

“But I bought them for you in the heat of the morning-standing in that long queue!” Gabi scowled, her eyes narrowing at Falco who looked like he wanted to jump off the window, feeling the walls of the room were now suffocating.

You giggled softly and placed your hand on both of their heads, ruffling their hair lovingly. “I appreciate both of you so much,” you chimed. In return, Gabbie proudly puffed up her chest.

She then turned, surveying Levi who sat on the bed uninterested. “Captain, why does it look like an elephant trampled over you?” She sarcastically assumed and you almost laughed.

Levi narrowly stared at Gabi, about to clap back at her sarcastically but you quickly intervened. “He’s got a fever. I was just going to make him some stew,” you told the teens. Gabi’s smug smile wiped off as she stared at Levi silently; Falco also stepped closer to inspect the sick man.

Your heart melted as the two watched Levi, concern washing over their faces, making them pale. Gabi and Falco were deeply attached to Levi after the war. Despite acting like they hated him, they carried immense respect for the Captain and followed him around like little ducklings-inspired by his great strength and combativeness. Gabi was so intrigued knowing he alone had slaughtered 58+ titans without modern weaponry that she couldn’t stop questioning him about his experiences. He acted like she was a bother but secretly enjoyed the look of fascination in her eyes after every interrogation. They visited your home very often along with Jean and Connie.

Your raven haired husband noticed their worried frowns and grew embarrassed. You could tell by the sudden frantic look in his eyes. “Tch, I’m perfectly alright. Y/n likes to exaggerate,” he rasped, staring at you for help.

Levi was always so awkward when someone expressed genuine concern for him; he had warmed up to you eventually and loved your concerned nagging but with others, he still didn’t know the correct response.

“Guys, don’t worry. He’ll be better in no time.” You smiled warmly.

Suddenly Falco stood upright, eagerly putting on his cap. “I’ll get the fever-reducer and painkillers,” he announced like a solider on a mission and marched out the door to a pharmacist. “I’ll make stew and some honey tea, Reiner drinks it whenever he’s sick,” Gabi rushed to explain and hurried out to the kitchen.

You stared blankly. Your eyes warmed up. You looked towards Levi and noticed his eyes twinkling with something unknown. You could feel his overwhelming emotions and grabbed his thin hand, tracing your thumb against his skin comfortingly.

“Levi, aren’t we so lucky to be living in this world?” You softly whispered, afraid to break his trance.

His eyes which used to be dull, scared, tired were now brimming with happiness. You could feel it. He looked at you, nodding softly.

As you caressed his hand, his hold grew tighter.

“Do you think they remember?” He rasped, his voice so small you barely heard him. “Every time they see us, do they remember what happened to Colt... Udo... Zofia?” His voice cracked, overcome with the horrors of each war.

You edged close, caressing his jaw to meet his eyes. The eyes were so grey and sad.

“Levi, are you reminded of what happened to Sasha, Hange and so many of your comrades every time you see them?” You asked, making him ponder upon the question.

He instantly shook his head, disagreeing. “No, I don’t because... it’s not their fault.” He looked sullen. You nodded, staring into his eyes so he could understand the truth behind his words.

“Exactly. None of it is anyone’s fault. It was never our fault,” you reminded him.

Levi stared at you, his gaze softening.

Five year ago, he’d have swore he was nothing but a sacrificial lamb for the humankind’s sake. How did his empty existence manage to build himself a home? He had somehow lived. Struggle after struggle, he was finally free. Beyond the walls, there was a paradise, a paradise of freedom which he was sharing with none other than you.

Levi’s lips curled into a soft curve; he was never sure of the right answer. Was he thankful to have survived or did he wish to be rolled up into the destruction, ending his pain once in for all? He didn’t know. He only knew one thing deep in his heart: he wouldn’t trade his life for anything in the world right now.

He leaned in and kissed your mouth, tasting the sweetness of his life. You kissed back instinctively, his touch making your insides curl up.

“I’ve brought the medicine!”

You pushed him away, wide eyed while Levi groaned in annoyance. Rolling your eyes, you stood up, facing Falco who was red-faced, seeming like he had run his way back hurriedly to bring the medicine. You smiled at him.

“Give them to Levi. I’ll check up on Gabi,” you ruffled his hair again and walked away, leaving the tense duo together.

Falco edged closer to Levi, his anxiety topping the roof as he poured water into a cup. He silently gave Levi the cup of water and medicine. Levi silently observed Falco and then took the medicine, gulping it down in one go.

“Captain, do you need to see a doctor?” He hesitantly asked.

“I’m not a captain anymore, Falco,” Levi told him as a matter-of-fact.

All nerves disappeared from Falco’s frame as he heard the audible softness in Levi’s tone. He again stood upright and answered passionately. “You’ll always be a captain,” he responded. “No matter what.”

Levi smiled at the boy’s admonition. When Falco saw the smile, he couldn’t help smile huge too. It was rare to see Captain Levi break into any expression whatsoever; he’d only seen the captain smile bright with his wife.

“Have you still not got the balls to ask Gabi out?” Levi suddenly asked and Falco’s face reddened, his eyes widening in shock.

“Uh- I- no. I tried but she’s so busy all the time,” Falco winced as he tried to explain, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, embarrassedly. Levi threw his head back, a hearty laugh leaving his chest. The laugh made Falco want to crawl out of the room and hide away.

“Who’s busy all the time?” Gabi and you walked in, your hands carrying a bowl of stew which you kept on the side table.

“Nothing-No one!” Falco yelled like a deer caught in headlights, his voice cracking, straining to keep it together. You looked at Levi who seemed to be smug, his gaze flicking with humour.

“I have tickets to the amusement park,” Levi suddenly announced. You eyed him, confused. “I was going to take my wife if I wasn’t so sick but Falco and Gabi can go or it’ll be such a waste,” he said it like a command, and pulled the side drawer to reveal actual tickets.

You eyed him, shocked. You didn’t realise he had planned an entire trip to the amusement park for today. No wonder, he was going on about it. You smiled softly and nodded. “Yeah guys, it’s the new park. You’ll have lots of fun,” you told them. Falco and Gabi hesitantly stared at the tickets.

“Uh, it’s okay I don’t want to go-” Gabi said.

Levi arched an eyebrow at Falco, hinting at him to take action. The brown haired boy wanted to agree with Gabi, not wanting to discomfort her but Levi’s challenging expression made him abruptly move to grab the tickets.

“Yeah, we’ll go or it’ll be a waste...” he told her and Gabi’s face flushed, her eyes widening in embarrassment. She hesitantly looked around and then replied, “Fine!” She squealed and then the duo wandered out. Before Falco left he looked back at Levi, his eyes glinting with joy and the look in Levi’s eyes told you he was involved in setting up Falco and Gabi.

“You helped Falco out, didn’t you,” you muttered, eyeing him accusingly.

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and then grabbed your arm, pulling you on top of him, his heat travelling through your body. You gasped as he attacked your lips again. “I needed them gone... to do this,” he whispered against your skin, expressing his ulterior motives and left his marks down your throat, causing goosebumps to rise on your flushed skin.

You were surely very lucky to have this man beside you- everyday-every night-this entire life.

•=•

[kpopluvrsblog]

Im sorry professor

Requested: Hi can I request a dom teacher kevin moon fic? Also love your work!

Genre: smut

Pairing: prof!kevin moon x fem!student reader

Summary: you accidentally fell asleep in your art class....your teacher wasn’t happy.

Warnings: unprotected sex( be safe!!), dom!professor kevin and sub!student reader(student is 18), um paint play?? Rough sex, idek what else

A/n: should i make a fluff part two orrr✨ also not proofread so im sorry for mistakes

You woke up startled nearly falling off of your chair after hearing a loud bang. You had a night art class but you must’ve fallen asleep. Last night you had a long essay that was due and thanks to your procrastination you barely got it done on time.

With your heart beating fast you spun around to see that your professor had slammed the door to his classroom shut locking it in the process. Your professer was a young man named kevin moon and he was the only reason so many people took art this year. However you were in here because you like art.

“Miss y/n, would you mind telling me what we went over in class today?” He questioned as he slowly walked over to where u were sitting. “Im so sorry professor i stayed up late last night and I must’ve fallen asleep”you stated while standing up and gethering your supplies laying around the table. He cut you off by saying “no, i asked you to tell me what we went over. I didn’t ask for some lame excuse”

By the tone he was using you could guess he was angry since we were learning new material today. You turned your head to look at him as he stopped right in front of your desk. “Im sorry im not sure of what we learned today professor but i can teach myself to save you the trouble if you would like to tell me what we went over? It wont happen again.” You said hoping he would at least tell you the basics.

“Y/n you missed a whole lesson. Today we learned on how to paint ones body. Naked. Instead of telling you though i would say it is easier to show you. Just to make sure you really understand.” He stated with a teasing tone while coming around the table to stand beside you. He grabbed your arm and pushed you lightly against the desk. Trapping you between his hips and the desk, pushing his bulge against you.

“Professor i dont think-“ you started but he covered your mouth and put his lips to your ear “its kevin” his whisperd which gave you chills throughout your spine. “Kevin. I dont think we should be doing this your the teacher and i-“

“Shhh baby your only a few years younger than me. Tell me you dont want this and i will stop.” He said while rubbing his hands down your sides. You can’t deny that you have imagined yourself in the scenario more times than you would like to admit. He IS really hot. “I want this” you said breathlessly.

“Mmm i knew it” he said as he started to pull your shirt off of you. “I should punish you for being disobedient shouldn’t I?” He then turned you around and pushed your head down to the table, holding your hands behind your back with one of his. He then unclasped your bra while kissing your shoulder. “Yes i deserve to be punished” You replied.

He lifted up your skirt to see your lace panties already soaked. “Damn y/n you’re already so wet for me. This is whats going to happen. Im going to fuck you raw and use your tight little pussy to get myself off. You will not cum unless i decide i want you too. Got it?” He ended with a harsh spank to your ass.

“But thats not fair!! I should be able to-“ he ended your rant by pulling you up by your neck, pressing your back to his naked chest. ‘When did he get undressed??’ You thought. “ do not fucking question me brat. This is a punishment and you will take what i give you.” Kevin then started to rub his tip against your throbbing pussy. Keeping you up by your neck, he thrusted his whole length into you, causing you to scream.

“Your lucky school has ended early. Im going to make your throat sore from screaming my name.” He then started to pound rapidly into your tight pussy which made your knees buckle as you screamed some more. He wrapped the other hand around your waist to make sure you stayed put. It hurt but felt so good at the same time. You loved the way he was manhandling you.

“Your pussy is so tight for me baby. Mmm have you never been stretched this far huh?” He questioned. “N- no your thick cock is stretching me out so much, i love it” you mumbled while trying to hold back your tears. “Thats right baby, now let me demonstrate what we went over in class hmm?” He stopped his thrusting and stilled deep inside of you making you sigh loudly. He leaned over you to reach the paintbrush you had yet to put away. He dipped it into the red glittery paint that was set up as well.

“Lean down on the desk” kevin demanded you. As soon as you layed your stomach flat on the table, he put one hand besides your head to hold himself up. Not even a second later you felt a cold substance coat the skin on your lower back, making you gasp and moan loudly. He started to slowly thrust inside of you again as he used you as a canvas.

“Kevin oh my god please I’ve been so good. I really need to cum i wont be able to hold it” you whined as you couldn’t help but push your hips back onto his now harder thrusts.

“Fucking hold it brat. I said i would let you cum if i felt like it.” He gritted his teeth as he put the brush down and grabbed both sides of you hips, now slamming into you so hard that you couldn’t breathe properly. He was so deep inside of you, you thought you could feel him in your stomach.

“Shit im cumming baby” he growled as you desperately clenched around him, trying not to release. He quickly pulled out of you and jerked his dick until he was cumming all over your back, where he had painted not long before. He moaned loudly as he came while you whined because you no longer had him inside of you.

You started sobbing because it hurt so bad, you needed to cum. You started thrashing your hips around until kevin stopped you. “Sh sh its okay baby ill make you cum now alright?” He said softly while rubbing your hips.

“You’re so mean kevin it hurts so bad” you said still crying. He turned you around gently and placed you on top of the table. “ i know i know. Can you handle my dick or do you want me to eat you out baby?” He asked while still rubbing soothing circles into your hips. “I want your dick please.” You contined as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer to you. His sweet scent calmed you down as he inserted himself again, thrusting slowly a few times before gaining speed to make you cum fast. He didn’t want to go too hard since he knew you were in pain. He removed one hand from your hip and lightly began to rub figure eights on your wet clit.

This geture made you cum with a scream locking his dick inside of you with your tight clenches. As you were coming down from your high he placed light kisses along your neck and pulled out of you making you wince. He held you tightly as he started a slow make out session that last for a few minutes. “ are you alright?” He asked after pulling away. He wanted you to learn your lesson but he didnt want to hurt you in the process.

“Yes im okay kevin thank you” you replied with a reassuring smile. “You know” he said shyly “ you should come back to my place y/n, that way i can run you a nice bath and we can talk about us okay?” He finished and bit his lip out of nervousness.

“I would love to do that, lets try not to get caught walking out of here though... i look like a hot mess” you said, making you both laugh as he started to pack everything and get you guys dressed to leave to his house.

[marauder-exe]

Sweater- Remus Lupin

Request: Hey boo! Love your writing, and that prompt list? Aaaaamazing. Maybe you could do one with remus with 54,64 and 79 from prompt list #2?? If not that's totally cool, I Don't know, just got that idea last night:) Lots of loveee.

Prompts:

54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”

64. “Your bedhead is really cute”

79. “No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

Word count: 1.6K

You where so Absolutely, Undeniably, Indubitably tired. You had stayed up the previous night studying, and you had to pull n all nighter later tonight to study for a shitty potions exam, my god you hated N.E.W.T.S. The rest of your friends, the Marauders, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, everyone had already studied and got an early night, while you procrastinated, so you had to cram the night before. This is hell, why do you do this? But you decided to take full advantage of the empty common room and decided to set up shop down their for the night. It was 10Pm, you where fresh faced, full from supper and have a cup of tea. How hard could Potions be to grasp?

It turns out very hard. All of the stuff that actually went into your brain just got muddled up, and it just wasn't going well. Your tea had been left to go cold, and the entirety of your notes had been spilled out over the common room table. It was getting chilly, and you needed some more tea anyway, so you decided to take a break. How you hadn't gotten colder earlier is a mystery, as you where wearing biker shorts and a tank top. You grabbed your cup, and stood up, when the cold sent a shiver down your spine and goosebumps rose on your skin. Then an idea popped into your head. Every day since you met him, Remus Lupin had worn the exact same, comfy looking, sweater, day in, day out. And to be honest, that's something you could use right now. You crept up the stairs, closer to the boys dorm, and quietly knocked on, you waited a few seconds, but there was no reply.

“Rem?” You whisper-shouted.

Then almost instantaneously, the door swung open, revealing none other than Remus Lupin, with no shirt, plaid pyjama pants and a book in his hand. Of course. He gave you a warm smile as he opened the door for you to step into the room. Man he looked so damn adorable in the low light.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing up, its like 2Am?” He gave a questioning look.

“I'm sorry, its what?” Since when did it get that late, you could've sworn you'd only started studying an hour ago. He nodded toward the clock on his night stand, which, in classic Remus fashion, was also drowned in old books and chocolate. You let out a quiet giggle.

“Guess the time just got away from me. I was wondering...” You chuckled nervously, why was it so damn hard to ask this man for a sweater. Right, he was Remus. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you, and I could really use the comfort right now?” He just kinda stood there, jaw slack, fumbling over his words, trying to explain how much he would love to give you any sweater he owned, without sounding creepy of course.

“If you two are gonna shag, could you maybe do it quietly? I'm trying to sleep here” The grumbled voice of Sirius came from the end bed. Remus threw a pillow at him as you both blushed profusely.

“Yeah.” He said abruptly. “I mean yeah, of course you can, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah” He repeated, with a nervous laughter.

“So, can I borrow it?” You questioned sarcastically with a laugh.

“Yeah, ill go get it” He laughed lowly. He tried to be as smooth as he could but when you where around, he had the function of a paper plate. Trying to retrieve the jumper from his trunk, he slipped a few times, laughing and mumbling a quiet ‘sorry’. How can one man be so cute.  He quickly jogged back over to you, about to hand you the sweater, when he stopped to admire your beauty for a second, your face lit by the candle light. Well what he thought to be a second but was more closer to a minute, being snapped out of his daydream by a quiet ‘Rem?’ Coming from you. God he loved that nickname. He laughed and apologised, handing you the sweater.

“Don't stay up too late though, love, you wont be able to focus if you have no sleep” he lectured. “You want some chocolate to take down with you?” You gratefully accepted his offer, marvelling at the mass amounts of chocolate he had. He gave you a variety. You knew he had given you his expensive chocolate he had gotten for his birthday. But you pretended not to notice and thanked him for the gesture with a kiss on the cheek as you quickly ushered out of the room. Scared if you stayed too long, you'd do something you regret. Of course, you left so quick, you just missed the deep blush that appeared on Remus’ face as he held a hand against his cheek where you had just kissed. He heard a low “Man, you are soooooo whipped” From Sirius, but just threw a pillow at him. He lay back down on his bed, dreaming of you.

After your sweater and chocolate exchange with Remus, you decided to duck back into the kitchens for some more tea. A quick caffeine top up is just what you needed. As you got back to the common room it was quickly approaching 2:30Am, You decided to get a few more hours of study done, but now in Remus’ comfy sweater. Obviously it was wayyy to comforting, because you ended up nodding off on the common room couch at 4Am, engulfed by the sweater and surrounded by the smell of Remus.

While you slept soundly downstairs, Remus looked up at his clock. 4:45Am. Sleep alluded him lately much to his chagrin. His dreams were usually filled to the brim with you, wondering what his life would be like if you two where together. But recently, he had been thinking about doing something about it, causing him some sleepless nights. He though you liked him, he was 90% sure, okay more like 60%. But the marauders had him convinced that she liked him back. Hell even lily knew that the Gryffindor princess was smitten for Werewolf Boy. He just wanted you to be his, and for him to not be a bumbling, stammering, blushing mess around you He lay in his own head space for about 45 minutes, until he realised you where still downstairs. He was worried you might work yourself to death at this rate. So he quietly shuffled out of his bed, making his way down the stairs. What he saw when he got down there was, perhaps, the one thing he’d want to see for the rest of his life. You where curled up around a pillow on the common room couch, Remus’ sweater drowning you. You where bathing in the Dawn sunlight, and you looked absolutely ethereal. He thought if there was heaven on earth this would be it. If there where big, cartoon heart eyes in real life, he’d definitely have them right bout now. He stood there staring at you, with his big, cartoon heart eyes for a solid five minutes, until you began to stir and wake up. He tried to busy himself looking over your papers and other miscellaneous things on the table.

“Hey, Remmy, not stealing my notes are you?” You giggled in your cute morning voice. He stood, frozen and slack jawed. How could one woman be so perfect? “Rem? Oh no, what's wrong? Is it my terrible bed head?” You panicked trying to flatted your crazed hair. He quickly shook himself from his daydream.

“No, its… Your bed head is cute” He mumbled lowly, you giggled. “Its just… I cant believe your wearing my clothes.”

“Well yeah, that was why I asked for it, it smells good” You breathed In the scent of his sweater, and Remus looked at you. Sat there, with a bed head, sleep deprived, having just woken up, still looking like an angel on earth. Why was he doing nothing about it? To hell if he was gonna let some douche get you before he could.

“Rem?” You questioned, blushing under his abnormally long stare. And before you knew it he had immediately rushed to you, his lips attaching to yours, passionate but hungry. He pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “Ive been wanting to do that for a while” He laughs and you giggle. But you where cut short by a slow clap ensuing from behind you, you both turned to see Sirius on the staircase, classic smirk and everything. Remus was about to scold Sirius and warn him not to tell the boys but Sirius already knew it. “Don't worry. ‘Remmmmyyyy’” He said in a dreamy voice. “I wont tell the boys” Remus released  breath and started counting down.

“3...2...1...” You furrowed your brows to question him, but it was soon answered by Sirius clamouring up the stairs screaming James’ name, probably about to tell him what just happened.

“Back in a sec, love” He said before rushing after Sirius, his werewolf traits no match for Sirius’ dog ones. You just stared after him, before shrinking down into the couch, sighing dreamily.

[namusthetic]

The four Cardinals

The four nations lived in peace and harmony under the guide of each Cardinal. The North, the East, the South and the West. To which nation do you feel you belong?

The North

Cold stares, loyal until the very end, warm to those who gained their trust, always following their principles, rough, but in a warm, heartfelt way, fearless, headstrong and impulsive, follow their hearts rather than their minds, friendly in their own way, brutally honest, building relationships on the battlefield and over a good pint of beer, they will say what they think, each wound is worn as a trophy as they are the proof that they survived to see the sun rising one more time, hunter, always carefully aware of their surroundings, always prepared for the worse, either they like you or they hate you, there is no in between, unafraid of the road ahead, has a strong sense of justice, everlasting friendships, does before they think, finds comfort in sentimental objects and heartfelt words, plunging into the woods with nothing but a desire for adventure, seeking excitement in life  

Aesthetic:

the sound of snow crunching under your steps, the cold wind blowing against your face, the warm feeling of a cackling fireplace in a busy tavern along the way, long heavy cloaks, the rough feeling of metal and leather, running with the wolves in the cold winter nights, the refreshing sensation of feeling alive in the crisp air of the winter mornings, bonfires in the evening, the ruins of an old castle, banks of fog in the early morning, that adrenaline high that comes from the knowledge of standing alone against the world, wild hair, furs and warm clothes, loud heart-warming laughter, rosy cheeks and piercing eyes, the sky’s overwhelming mix of warm hues at dusk just before it turns blue

The East

Integrity, respects nature and the ways of the world, seems cold and uptight at first, but is loyal to a fault once you become friends with them, respect, always careful about what they say and how they act, has a soft spot for cute things, only fights when strictly necessary, honour, compassionate, usually demonstrates affection through action since they are too shy and awkward to speak about their feelings, selfless, beautifully confident and agile in battle, but an utter mess with feelings, selects their friends very carefully, tends to overthink things, slightly awkward, has a strong sense of duty, values and principles, wise and eerily calm even in bad situations, if you get them to open up to you they can be adorably dorky, values knowledge the most, low-key softie, balance and harmony, always trying to protect the pureness left in the world, risking their life to be at your side, knowing that life is a learning experience and accepting its lessons as a way to become stronger

Aesthetic:

Sakura flowers falling on the still water surface, iced almond milk, the sound of the zither wafting in the spring mornings, paperback books with warped pages, moral codes and respect, a clear slant of light reaching the earth through the blossoms and the leaves of the trees, the slow flow of the water in big rivers, rare but genuine smiles, appreciating natural beauty as it is, being aware of the power held behind the simplest things, crystals and handwritten poetry, the smooth feeling of silk fabric through your fingers, the earthy smell of green tea, long walks wandering through nature, the feeling of hardwood floors under your bare feet, bathing in cold and warm water springs, trusts the universe, watercolour paintings and white tea

The South

Living life each day as if it were their last, enjoying the moment, they have a deep knowledge about life, free-spirited, forever young, procrastinating but managing to do everything on time, can’t help but try to make everyone smile, acknowledges sadness as part of life and thus never feels ashamed to cry in front of others and to speak about their feelings, sleeps most of the day, affectionate, finds beauty in fallen petals and drifting leaves, ‘being upset over it does not solve the problem, honey’, incredibly sweet and patient, compassionate and understanding, finding beauty in life is the best exercise for the soul, you will find them laying down contemplating life or sleeping, knows much more than they let on, stays up until late at night, open-minded and open-hearted, they become easily attached, cares a lot, always there to help, easily excited over the simplest things

Aesthetic:

the feeling of walking barefoot, inhaling the salty smell of the sea and forgetting about everything else but the fact that you are alive in that exact moment in the universe, grapes and oranges, the refreshing feeling of laying on the cold sand, intricate geometrical patterns and simple linear architecture, fairy lights, cats sleeping in the shade under porches on the streets, busy markets filled with noises and the most diverse aromas, the light swaying of a ship, bonfires and sparklers, the smell of freshly baked bread at sunrise, drinking coffee under the warm morning sun, sun-kissed skin and linen sheets, acoustic guitar, home-made jam, caring touches and warm smiles 

The West

Confident, strives to be the best, always talking about economy, hard-working, determined, perfectionist, bold, grew up too fast, keeps up with trends, doesn’t show emotions but actually cares a lot, actually finds very fascinating other cultures, curious, likes to try out new things, helps everyone they can even when it’s not their business, jokes around most of the time, but can be very serious when needed, great conversationalist, craves warmth and true friendship, loves to travel and discover new places and ways of looking at the world, existential crises and trust issues, impulsive decisions, always on time, overworking themselves, focuses on details, lives in extremes, analytical, ‘everything is possible if you are willing to believe in it’, holds grudges, sore loser, having a plan for any situation

Aesthetic:

knowing smiles, strong coffee, diamond chandeliers, the sound of pearls falling on a marble floor, leather sofas, city lights and sounds in the night, high heels and tailored suits, train rides across the country, to do lists, walking a little bit faster to stay warm, adrenaline highs from achieving your goals, classical and jazz music, dark chocolate and cigarette smoke, the sound of the clock ticking, the confidence of knowing where you are headed to, the sound of champagne glasses being filled up

----------------------------------------------------------

Hello everyone!   (⌒▽⌒)☆

Hope you enjoy these character moodboards!   (´• ω •`) ♡

I just wanted to clarify that, although I got inspired by different cultures and countries, I do NOT agree with any kind of stereotyping, since I believe everyone should be free to do and be what they want to, as long as it doesn’t involve harming others.

The characters are from a fictional reality that I made up and they have their own quirks, again, that does not mean I associate such characteristic with a specific nationality.

Also, I wanted to apologize for not posting more often but I’m in the middle of an exam session so I’m a bit busy, thank you for being so patient     o(TヘTo)

Thank you for enjoying my blog ♡  stay healthy and take care of yourselves  σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡

[dylan-o-yumm]

Can I request something sinful with Nero maybe having his first heat with his s/o? Lol maybe he's surprised about it and didn't know about it till either Dante or Vergil warned him?

(I’m not gonna add the spice in this one, I don’t think. Purely because I have another Nero in heat request and I don’t wanna seem like I’m being repetitive??) Also sorry this took so long, I’ve been procrastinating with OC stuff lmao 

Nero had been acting weird for the past couple of days. Weirder than being a demon hunter who previously had a demonic arm that got chopped off by his own father, only to then have it grow back human-like. Deep breath. No, he was acting more… unlike himself, more aggressive, more animalistic. 

One of the many odd things Nero had been doing lately, was constantly telling you how nice you smell. He was always one to tell you if he thought you were cute or sexy, but never really about how much he adored your scent. No matter if you had just gotten out of the shower or if you had been rolling in the mud for a solid hour, he’d always come and sniff you. Inhaling your scent and almost getting high off of it. 

Not only was your smell suddenly amazing to him, but so was his to you. He never really smelt bad in your opinion, though there were a few times when he had been covered in demon blood and hadn’t had a shower for at least a week where it was probably at its worst. Now, however? You couldn’t quite place what he smelt like but you loved it. He was never really around long enough for you to get a good whiff though. 

Another thing was how he hated when you’d leave the house. It was like he was unbelievably jealous whenever you had to go to the store to buy milk or bread. As if anyone who saw you was going to woo you and steal you from him. 

He’d even go as far as canceling on missions and sending either Dante or Vergil out to do it for him, meaning he got to stay at home with you. Which usually you’d be okay with spending so much time with him, hell, you begged for it sometimes, but when he was acting as he was… Let’s just say it easily got to be a bit too much pretty quickly. 

The day you had just come home from the store, you were surprised to not have Nero jump on you and kiss you roughly like he had been doing any other time you came back from wherever it is you were doing. This time you walked through the door and were met with the sound of water running from the bathroom. Either the bath or shower you weren’t quite sure, but you figured Nero was just getting cleaned up. 

You didn’t expect to walk in on him sitting inside the tub, particularly long nails digging into the wall beside him and cracking the tiles. His eyes were closed, face screwed up into a look of pure concentration and rage. The room was hot, warmth radiating from the water running or Nero himself you had no idea. 

“Nero? Babe, whats wrong?” You asked, quickly jumping into the room and kneeling down beside the tub. You reached a hand out and placed it on his shoulder comfortingly, only to realise just how warm he was. He’s part demon, demons cant get sick can they? Or do they get very sick, more so than humans? You took your hand off of him to check the temperature of the water, only to pull your hand back with a soft squeak. 

“Nero, the water’s freezing!” You didn’t know if maybe you should turn it off or not, since his body was still so warm. He was clearly trying to cool himself down. 

“I don’t know whats happening to me, but whatever it is, I hate it” Nero hissed through his teeth. He opened his eyes and finally turned to face you, you couldn’t help the gasp that left your lips once you saw the all too familiar look of arousal, lust and hunger in his eyes, mixed with anger and pain. 

You didn’t know what to say, shaking your head as you look over his body. The only thing that seemed out of the ordinary to you, other than the heat his body was emitting or the look on his face, was how he was covering himself. His hands were still human but it was as if his demon form was trying to burst through, turning his nails into long, sharp claws. His knees were slightly bent in the small tub, but the hand that wasn’t gripping the wall was cupped around his manhood. 

“Why cover up? Not like I haven’t seen you naked before?” 

“…It won’t go down” In any other situation, you might have laughed. But the look of pain and dare I say fear on Nero’s face had you a little concerned. 

You shared a look with Nero and you were thankful he didn’t put up a fight, instead he turned his head to the side out of embarrassment as he moved his hand. Your eyes widened at how red and angry his hard member was, the first thought coming to mind was that maybe he simply needed a release and he’d be good. However, you had a good sex life with Nero so why would this be a problem now? 

“Um… okay. Look, why don’t I help you out? I can’t think of anything else that might help.”

“No! I-I don’t want to h-hurt you.” Nero panicked as he covered himself up again.

“Nero, you’ve never hurt me, and you never will. We’ve been through thi—“

“UGH!” Nero’s hands twitched before they suddenly turned into the familiar colour and texture of his devil bringer. The horns a top his head extended before disappearing shortly after, as if his demonic form was glitching and trying to come forth without him controlling it. 

“Thats it. I’m calling Dante.” 

~*~

Nero got dressed by the time Dante came over, he was still hot and suffering but the cold bath seemed to help a little bit. He sat in the lounge room and crossed his legs while he dug his nails into the arm of the couch while you sat across from him on the opposite couch. Dante stood in between you and Nero, looking between the both of you like you were stupid and the solution to Nero’s problem was right in front of you. 

“Tell me, kid. You start making a nest with all their clothes yet?” Dante asked with a sly smirk on his face, clearly enjoying this more than anyone else in the room. 

“I’m sorry… a nest?” You ask, confused out of your mind. 

“You really have no idea what’s going on, huh?” Dante replied, the curve of his lips never faltering. You didn’t know if you should be mad at him for not taking Nero’s suffering seriously or if you shouldn’t be worried since Dante clearly knew what was happening and didn’t seem concerned in the slightest. He did however seem a little too eager to come over when you called him, wether that be because he was bored or because he just really wanted to see Nero so uncomfortable was beyond you. 

You shook your head and shared a glance with Nero before pleading with your eyes for Dante to explain what was going on. 

“Look, watch this” The older hunter grinned, walking the few steps over towards you and turning to face Nero as he slowly placed his hand on your shoulder. You didn’t know what you were meant to be watching or why Dante was touching you, but the moment you heard a low growl, you started piecing it all together.

You glanced at Nero who was gripping the arm of the couch roughly, tearing the leather with his claws. He looked like he was doing everything in his power not to stand up and rip his uncles head off. You were actually surprised he hadn’t gone into his demon form with how aggressive he looked. 

“C’mon, kid. You’re acting like a bitch in heat” Dante chuckled, taking his hand off of you and taking a few steps back. You watched as Nero visibly calmed down, his claws retracting and the murderous glint in his eyes disappearing. 

“Is that what this is? Some demonic heat kinda thing?” You asked, pushing yourself out of your seat and going to stand beside Nero just in case he happened to get angry again. You expected to stay standing beside him just as emotional support, but apparently he had other plans as he wrapped an arm around your waste and pulled you down into his lap. 

“Now, I’d say it wouldn’t be as bad for you, considering you’re not a half demon and all, but… Maybe it’s worse for you? Huh, weird” Dante mumbled under his breath, seeming not to care that Nero was nuzzling into your shoulder as if to rub Dante’s scent off of you and cover it with his own. 

You tried to push Nero away, finding the sudden PDA a little much, but there was a low grumble down in his chest when you tried to stop him. Dante however kept talking like nothing was happening. 

“Once a year you’ll get like this and the only solution is wait it out. Should last about a week or two. Though…” Dante trailed off, feeling amused by both yours and Nero’s stunned expressions. You were shocked and still so very confused even though you now know what Nero is going through. 

“To make it a helluva lot more bearable… all you have to do is bump some uglies. It’ll help calm him down a bit. Just be prepared, cause when a demon goes through heat, we can go at it for days” Dante chuckled, seeming a little too casual about this situation and telling his nephew to engage in sexual activities. 

“Are you kidding me? Won’t I hurt them?” Nero asked, worried and confused. There was a light pink dusting his cheeks and nose as he asked. 

“You could. But you won’t.” Dante grinned, clapping his hands. “Anyway, I’m going to leave you guys to it. Be careful and feel free to call me if you have any more questions” And with that he walked away, letting himself out and not giving either you or Nero the chance to thank him for his help. 

You’d be lying if you said you couldn’t feel the bulge growing in Nero’s pants the whole time you were sitting on his lap. Perhaps Dante could sense the arousal and figured it was best to get out of there ASAP. 

“Well…” You said, facing Nero and wrapping your arms around his neck. He looked a little hesitant but pulled you in for a deep, rough kiss anyway. “Bedroom…” You mumbled against his lips, squeaking as you felt his tongue slip into your mouth as he soundlessly stood up, keeping you in his arms as he walked you to your shared room. 

(Woah can you tell this is rushed or what? Ha ha *sweating*) 

[badwolfwrites-sometimes]

Golden Knights, Silver Crowns: Chapter 2

Feliciano and Ludwig struggle with their relationship, but, after receiving Chel's letter, Feliciano devises a plan to fix it.

Their first days together weren't going so well. Aside from waking up way to early for his tastes and actively doing his duties, Feliciano was bothered by his dreams, reminding him of his past.

But it wasn't all too bad. Ludwig was actually interesting to talk to and talking was easy for Feliciano. Not to mention he was getting along well with Romeo, he didn't treat either of the brothers differently because they weren't close in age. Maybe that was something Feliciano needed.

That morning, Ludwig came in his room with news. "There is a letter for you, Your Highness," he says, holding it in his hands.

Feliciano rubbed his eyes and sat on his bed as Ludwig opened the curtains, maids rushing in to bathe and dress him. Feliciano read the letter afterwards. "It's from my girlfriend," he said. He didn't notice as Ludwig's expression turned from neutral to annoyed.

'Darling Feliciano, I am happy that you considered writing to me about your concerns. Unfortunately, I might not be of much help, but I will offer you my advice regardless. You wrote to me that your problem is with your knight, specifically your past with him, right? I do not want to seem rude, but if both of you are so hung up on past then your relationship will only worsen. I believe you should leave it behind and start from scratch. If that does not work then I am afraid you will have to keep up with what you have been doing until now.'

Feliciano nodded along as he read the letter, agreeing with what Chel was saying up until that point. He glanced at Ludwig, wondering if starting from scratch with him was possible. Ludwig wasn't paying any attention to him, helping out the maids in making Feliciano's bed. 'Huh, he's a gentleman when he wants to be?', Feliciano thought. Maybe his memory of Ludwig from the past was messed up by the promise he broke, but it seems like Ludwig is still a good guy. Smiling, he returned to the letter in front of him.

'Putting that aside, how are you doing? It has been long since we last saw each other, I hope you are doing well. That being said, I will be coming in a few days to help plan our announcement ball. I have so many ideas, you will just love them.

See you soon my love,

Chel.'

Right, he forgot about that. He forgot about his engagement announcement ball. Ludwig's return completely sidetracked him from something so important to his future. If his grandma was alive, she would have punished him so hard for ignoring the traditions. "Ludwig," he called out. Letting Ludwig know was the start. "What is my schedule for this week?"

Leaving the maids to finish up with the work in Feliciano's room, Ludwig pulled out a small black notebook. "Mostly studying and training. What is it?" Ludwig said.

"Is there a way you can fit in preparations for guests anywhere in it? And planning for a ball?" Feliciano asked, folding the paper in his hands and putting it back into its envelope.

If it weren't for Ludwig's sternly neutral expression, Feliciano could probably read the confusion off his face. That didn't seem to be the case here. "What for?" Ludwig asked, noticing it's hopeless to expect Feliciano to read the mood.

"My girlfriend Chel will be coming over soon," Feliciano blurted out. "To help prepare for our engagement announcement ball."

Feliciano couldn't see a trace of emotion on Ludwig's face or body, but, on the inside, Ludwig was boiling over with annoyance. Feliciano was already kept on the strict schedule to make a somewhat decent leader out of him, if he gets carried away at the ball, it would ruin everything.

That being said, it wasn't like Ludwig could stop him. He wasn't royal after all.

"I will see what I can do, but I make no promises. If you are going to be busy preparing the ball, that means I have to cut your free Saturdays," Ludwig said, checking the schedule once again.

"Free Saturdays?" Feliciano asked.

"A day off for you and me. You can do whatever you want on Saturdays and I don't have to watch over you as much. We agreed to this when I arrived," Ludwig explained, closing and putting away his notebook. "You haven't been paying attention, have you?"

Well, there goes another possibly good day. Now, Feliciano would have to endure strict lectures from Ludwig for not listening when he should and he is really not in the mood for them. He really shouldn't speak too much. "My bad, I forgot," he apologized, hoping that would at least fix the situation. "But there's no need to cut them. I can plan during the week and on Saturday, I can plan even more because I'll have more time. That way everything would be done much faster, don't you think?"

Ludwig smirked, that's unusual. Feliciano wasn't always much of a thinking type, but Ludwig knew he liked to plan things, even when they were just kids. However, Ludwig knew of the other side to that coin as well. "You will just end up procrastinating it all until the very last day. Am I wrong, Your Highness?" He said.

Feliciano has once again been caught in an inescapable situation, so he just nodded in agreement. Ludwig knew too much about him, he hasn't, changed much from the childhood after all.

Like any other day since Ludwig's arrival, this day was just as long and Feliciano spent it devising a plan. Obviously, his relationship with Ludwig couldn't go on like this, both of them stuck deep in the past, so he needed a new tactic. He considered asking Ludwig about it, if starting over was okay, but that option would only work under set circumstances.

Which is why he was devising the plan in the first place. Feliciano knew his teachers don't care as long as it looks like he's doing something.

Step one was to be really nice to Ludwig for some time, even though Feliciano thought he was being nice from the start, being nicer never hurt anyone.

Step two was to get Ludwig alone, maybe a nice walk through the garden would do. Just make sure that the setting was perfect, maybe it would soften Ludwig's heart.

Step three was to actually talk to him and this was where Feliciano was having difficulties. Talking to Ludwig wasn't hard... in theory. Feliciano had to watch his words a lot and would have to be serious the entire time and that was exhausting. But those dreams were even more exhausting to him than pretending to be serious, he can do this. He will get Ludwig to accept and he will finally move on!

For the reminder of that week, Chel would be arriving Sunday evening, Feliciano was being extra nice to Ludwig. He didn't complain in the morning anymore, he studied, he discussed serious topics with Ludwig, like how to lower taxes for people and increase the income of the kingdom, and was generally very obedient. Seeing as how Ludwig seemed to be more energized and less annoyed at the end of the day with Feliciano, step one seemed to be working.

Feliciano liked this, Ludwig being less angry at him, but the act has made him more exhausted than he expected. He sneaked into Lovino's room one night after bedtime was announced.

"What do you want this late?" Lovino sneered at him, shuffling through some letters, but quickly putting them away as soon as Feliciano flopped down next to him.

"I'm so tired of this," Feliciano complained. "I didn't think being serious would be this hard."

"It figures. Get off my bed," Lovino pushed him off the bed, so Feliciano had no choice but to stay on the floor.

"Ah, I can't wait for this to end so I can go back to my old self anymore. If I have to talk about money one more time, I will die."

"Get used to it, when Nonno and Papa die, it's our job to do it. They will likely split the empire between the three of us as it seems."

"Would you take over my half?"

"No way in hell, deal with your own shit yourself. Leave me out of it."

"Lovi~"

"If you're done, get out. And turn the lights off and shut the door when you do. I have to catch on my beauty sleep or I'll end up looking like you," Lovino said, adjusting himself in the bed so he faced away from Feliciano.

"Okay. Good night, Lovi," Feliciano said, doing what his brother told him to on his way out.

"Trouble sleeping?" Someone asked as he walked to his room, startling him. He turned around to see Ludwig standing in the hall, arms crossed and holding a torch.

"Not really, just wanted to talk to Lovi. Why are you still up?" He asked.

"I was telling Prince Romeo his bedtime story."

Feliciano's expression softened. Seeing how Ludwig cared for his younger brother made him want to push forward with his plan, he'd like to get to know this new Ludwig without it being influenced by the past. He'd like to be friends with the new Ludwig. "The one with the princess and the dragon?" He asked.

"Yes," Ludwig simply answered as the two walked side by side.

"He told me all about it, I didn't know you could tell stories so well."

"Watching over young kids was a part of my training so I picked it up over time. I don't think I am good at it, but I accept the compliment."

"Well, by Romeo's standards, you're pretty good at it, though you don't have much of a comparison."

"Possibly, I am just glad that he is happy. He is a very good kid and would make a nice ruler one day. You were much more wild when you were younger, Your Highness." There it goes, why did he have to say that?

Why did he have to bring up the past?

Screw the walk through the garden under moonlight, if Feliciano doesn't ask him now, he will never do it.

' It's just a simple question, Feli. No time to be shy. If you don't ask him, you'll just keep on suffering. Just say it, it's not hard', his brain was screaming at him.

"Ludwig?" He called.

"What is it?" Came the response.

"Um, what do you say we...," he trailed off, unsure if this was the right moment to ask such a thing. But he made his choice, he has to do this. "We, uh, start over?"

Ludwig paused in his footsteps, confused. "I beg your pardon?"

Feliciano took a deep breath and looked Ludwig straight into his deep blue eyes. Strange, Feliciano remembered them being much deeper, kinder, there was so much love in those eyes that is now completely gone. Where did it all go? Ludwig's eyes were still beautifully blue, but that's not the same blue Feliciano remembers. Not the same blue he... "What do you say we forget what happened between us in the past and start anew? Become friends as adults?" He asked, all in one breath, hoping that Ludwig understood him.

Ludwig just burst out laughing.

Considering that didn't happen very often, Feliciano would gladly join in the laughter, but he just asked the question that was bothering him for a while and laughing was not the appropriate response, Ludwig! "Why are you laughing?" He asked.

Ludwig finally stopped, straightening himself up. "You must be joking, Feliciano. We can't abandon our past, I can't abandon our past," he answered.

"Why?! Why is it so hard for you to leave it behind?! Why do you have to bring it up every time we talk?!" Feliciano wasn't thinking anymore, he wasn't keeping up the seriousness anymore. Tears were threatening to escape his eyes, no act could keep them behind.

"Because it made me who I am today. Because I promised I would protect you and I am here to do so. I kept my promise even when you forgot and you asking me to throw it away would be throwing myself away. Do you understand, Feliciano? Is it simple enough for you?" Ludwig was back to his seriousness, anger stronger than ever in his voice.

Feliciano couldn't hold it in any longer, Ludwig's tone, the look in his eyes, the walls coming up to squish him from all sides, everything, it was all too much. He broke down in tears, but he could still see that Ludwig wasn't softening up in the slightest. He didn't know why, but it felt like he had been stabbed in the heart a thousand times. "With what an asshole you've become, I'm glad I didn't keep that promise!" He spat out before sprinting to his room. He didn't care who he woke up or who he startled. He just had to get out of there.

He didn't even see the heartbreaking look on Ludwig's face as he ran.

Ludwig collected himself and, instead of running like Feliciano, he walked to his own room. He knew he hurt Feliciano, he could hear him crying all night through the walls, but he doesn't regret what he said. He had been hurt first after all.

That Saturday, neither of them spoke a word to each other. And Sunday seemed to the same, until Princess Chel and her family arrived.

[maatryoshkaa]

Stray Kids as Roommates | Thread

some roommates-to-lovers fluff coming at you!

Bang Chan

You guys are the pair that n e v e r sleep

Turned his room into a home studio; probably would have thrown out his bed and turned his room into an office if you hadn’t stopped him

You often fall asleep to the sound of his humming and tracks muffled through your bedroom wall

You see the most of him during exam season, while pulling all nighters

He’s always in the kitchen making his 14th cup of coffee when you get up to go to the bathroom at 3 am

Lots of deep, meaningful conversations over late night snacks

You swear you’ve heard him talking to his Goku figurines during the unearthly hours of the morning

You’re the only one Chan lets ruffle his fluffy dandelion bedhead in the morning

Takes care of you more than he takes care of himself

Always asks you how your day went when you get home and insists on listening even when he’s been awake for over 48 hours

Always there to give you advice and comfort you when you’re feeling down! A living breathing mental health hotline

Walked into your room when you were studying for finals at 2am

You were in your pajamas, hair a mess and eyes barely open

And that was when Bang Chan decided he was in love with you

Ah, the couple with matching bags under their eyes.

☽ Read the rest of the boys under this cut! 

Woojin

Fried chicken takeout for dinner is a big Friday night thing

Kind of like a big moral support teddy bear, his hugs are the greatest

You steal half his closet in the winter because his hoodies are the comfiest

Literally the dad of your household

Checks up on your health and how you’re doing every now and then

Pushes you to finish your work and makes sure you’re not procrastinating

Honestly, your grades are soaring thanks to him

Helps you with homework

Your parents love him

Always saves and brings you good things to eat

Tucks you in at night when you can’t sleep nyahh i’m soft

And a couple times, when you wake up shaking from nightmares, homesickness or stress, he’s always there to comfort you, lying there until you fall asleep again.

“Woojin?”

“Yeah? Shh, don’t worry, I’m here.”

You always sit outside the bathroom and listen to him sing in the shower

Until he suddenly opened the door in nothing but a towel and you couldn’t face him for weeks

He thought your furiously blushing face was the cutest thing he’d ever seen and teased you about it, 

Until you finally kissed him to make him shut up

Hint: it worked wonders.

Minho

Saturday night dance battles are a t h i n g

Doesn’t do any chores unless he notices you’re feeling tired

Tried to cook once and probably accidentally gave the both of you food poisoning

Remember when he cooked rice cakes in the unwashed metal pan I’m--

Likes you a lot more than he lets on

Like, you’d mention craving a certain food or not having saved up enough money for something, and voila, the next day it’d be sitting on the kitchen table.

“What? It was on sale, just lying around. Don’t think too much of it.”

Clowns you for every little thing, but the moment he hears someone make fun of you, it’s on sight

Bicker like an old married couple, lots of back and forth catfights

Evenings falling asleep on the sofa, both tipsy and giggling while his two cats snuggle up around you

Arguing over who the cats love more

Endless crackhead antics; the neighbours probably hate you

Insists on walking his cats around the apartment complex, when in reality he just wants to spend more time with you

Everyone already knows you’re basically dating but you’re both too stubborn to admit it

Probably hooked up once or twice, or more than once or twice ;)

Changbin

Honestly when you first got him as your roommate, you were terrified

Because this 5’6 ball of dark is intimidating as frick

Realized how soft he really was when he whipped out his Munchlax plushie

Petty arguments with him are impossible because he speaks so fast

So you just let him win

Makes you kill the spider

Always manages to convince you to watch horror movies at 1 am

Probably as an excuse to have you in his arms if you get scared ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he thinks he’s slick

Perfected the “stretch and put his arm around your shoulder” move

Made a special playlist for everything you do together: good vibes for breakfast, upbeat jams when doing the chores together, chill indie mixes for cozy evenings in doing work

Insists on helping you around the house

Bringing you fresh ice coffee, cookies, and convenience store hauls whenever he gets off work

“B-but the Peperos were on a buy one get one free sale 👉👈”

Suggests playing the pocky/pepero kiss game to which you smack him in response

But you end up giving him a quick peck anyways, and he freezes, stunned

You run off, face red, Changbin chasing after to you with a wicked grin

“What was that? Is that buy one get one, too, because I want another oneeee!”

Hyunjin

The chillest roommate, but when he gets hyper oh m y

I ain’t gettin no sleep cos of y’all, y’all not gettin sleep cos of me

You have to wake him on the weekends because this boy would sleep until the evening

You want to let him rest, though, since he’s always out and working so late ;(

Secretly takes so many candid, soft pictures of you and saves them as his wallpaper

Loves to take you shopping and dress the both of you in matching #OOTDs

Hypes you the heck up

“She’s sister snatched today! Skin glowing, outfit on point -- oh look at that SMILE! Do the thing again -- oh my gosh. You’re killing it, y/n!”

Gives you fashion advice and beauty tips, although you keep bugging him for his skincare routine cuz damn

Probably share skincare products

Always do face masks together but fail at keeping them on because the two of you keep laughing at the stupidest things

Sometimes he has to put you to bed when he comes home late, and you’ve fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him to get back

Can’t resist kissing your forehead sometimes when tucking you in

At moments like these, he finds himself wishing for a sliver of a chance that you might feel the same way he has

He’s honestly so damn obvious though, getting you matching “roommate” things when he goes out -- plushies that remind him of you, little snacks when you’re down, cute accessories, you name it

This boy also forgets that he talks in his sleep -- and is very hard to wake up

So one morning, you’re leaning over his bed, about to shake him awake, and hear him mumble

“y/n, y/n, y/n...i like you sooo much...what do i do?”

You nearly choke on your toast, effectively waking the boy up, and he stares at you, half-awake and mortified.

“What? Did I--did I say something in my sleep?”

The smug, blushing smile spreading over your face is enough to send him diving back under the covers as you begin to tease him

Jisung

So comfortable to be around, he’s basically your best friend from day 1

Except for the fact that he’s so. Damn. LOUD

Noise complaints filed from the neighbours, the landlord, the neighbour’s dog, you name it

Another soft bean whose bedhead you love to ruffle

I mean have you seen My Pace dance practice? That boys mane has a mind of its own--

Brings you lots of cakes and pastries from cute bakeries when you’re stressed

A responsible boi™ ! always helps you out around the house.

Grocery shopping together? What a concept

Except he piles the cart with chips and snacks when he thinks you’re not looking

Lots of late nights binging movies on Netflix

This boy loves moves

But he loves them even more when he watches them with you ;D

Afterwards, you’re both too lazy and comfortable to move, so you end up falling asleep cuddled up against each other

Always runs away and hides when you ask to see his songs

You find scraps of hastily scribbled lyrics and ideas strewn around the house all the time

Little phrases like “i think i love you” and “my heart beats impossibly fast when i’m with you”

So you manage to collect enough to bring them to him and tease him about it

Jisung gets all quiet, though, instead of whining like he usually does, and you quickly apologise, thinking you’ve gone too far

You reassure him his writing is amazing

“It’s not that.”

He finally looks you in the eye, the intensity of his stare making your heart stop for a moment.

“They’re about you.”

Oh, how the turn tables.

Felix

i hate him sm, blease

Why did you even agree to room with him

Rooming with Felix is a one way trip to insanity -- we going ✈️✈️ acid trip

You can hear him yelling yeets and yeehaws when he plays Fortnite while you do your homework, and you swear you’re t h i s close to putting his head straight through his screen

Video game marathons when you’re not busy though, you have to admit, are the bomb

Probably convinced you to make TikToks with him

Makes you do all the viral challenges, including the couple trends

Honestly the most fun guy to be around ever

Your daily dose of memes and sugar

Knows when to be down to earth and serious, though!

Gives the best massages when you’re overworked and runs you a bath, promptly ordering your favourite takeout and making sure to feed you

Building pillow forts together on rainy days and snow days, and having sleepovers!

Binging vine compilations together during said sleepovers

Sending each other memes at 1 am when you’re both simultaneously procrastinating on homework

You basically became a couple without really going through the confession stage; it just sort of happened

“Hey, ‘lix?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I think I kinda like you.”

A sideways smirk. “Well, yeah, you’ve dealt with me for this long.”

The best-friends couple: soulmates, and, more importantly, partners in crime vine

Seungmin

Sweetest roommate!! Honestly you feel bad for even asking him to do chores

Has a bit of an evil side, though

One second he’s flashing you an angelic smile, the next he’s roasting you for your selfie skills on your recent Instagram post

You make one (1) complaint about the living room being messy, next thing you know you wake up and it’s spick and span

Cooks?? Really hecking well?

Sometimes you wonder if you signed up for a roommate or a housekeeper

Your apartment is so clean

Taking evening strolls together after dinner and taking pictures at the park

Walks you to and from work/school like a little puppy, and gets anxious if you’re late coming home

Doesn’t know how to show how much he cares about you and gets frustrated with himself

So he indulges in the little things, like packing you cute little lunches with sticky notes on the containers

Little notes around the house on days he stays out working late, like make sure you’re eating! And don’t sleep too late!

Honestly, you fell for him the moment he first smiled at you

Once, he was working overtime nonstop, and you didn’t get to see him for over two weeks

When he finally came home on time, you couldn’t help tackling him in a big bear hug

After he got over his initial heartbeat racing a thousand miles per hour, he dropped his head into the crook of your neck, hugging you back tightly

No words were needed, you missed each other’s presence so much, it seemed to say itself

I love you, and I missed you.

Jeongin

Is this boy even old enough to rent out a room? He is babie

So incredibly shy when he first meets you, but warms up quickly

Owns animal-printed pajamas and onesies

You both had a mini celebration when he got his braces off, complete with banana milk and animal crackers

You are both babie

An early bird, always wakes up before you

You wake up to him shaking you and laughing at your scrunched up face

“Wake uuppp, y/n, you’re going to be so late!”

“Ergghhhh.”

Can’t clean to save his life; always ends up breaking something or knocking things over

So he’s in charge of doing the laundry

Had a fat mental breakdown when he realised that meant your underwear

Your apartment is littered with figurines and plushies that both of you collect and don’t have the heart to clean out

“Jeongin, where are y----” you stop. “Why are you lying face down on the ground?”

“...we’re out of banana milk.”

Another hidden evil bean who clowns you for everything you do once he warms up to you

Baby boy!Jeongin switches to Savage!Jeongin in a matter of seconds

Also makes you kill the spider

Helps you cook, but only if you tell him how to do everything or he’ll freak out

Putting mukbang channels on the TV while eating together and watching in comfortable silence

Loves watching you eat and has a million derpy pictures of you saved on his phone

Poor boy has no idea how to tell you he’s falling head over heels with you

Accidentally blurts out “I like you” during a screaming contest

Lots, I mean LOTS of awkward laughing as Jeongin feels his face heat up, watching yours do the same

The longest moment passes, and Jeongin is getting ready to disassociate when you’re finally able to open your mouth and scream back,

“I like you, too!”

Baby boy found his soulmate.

[tempolarriefix]

dig deeper tag game

thank you so much to one of my favorite people ever @goldenfive for tagging me in this q&a. ilysm! xx 1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black gel pen is my go-to!

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? in the city. i love the feeling of everything all bustling, busy, and lit-up around me.

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? this is going to sound sort of weird but i’ve been really tempted to learn lockpicking lately? so i’ll say that haha!

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? ........yes, a lot of sugar. probably “too much” sugar.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? i hadn’t thought about this series in ages but i loved The Land of Elyon series and also Dealing with Dragons. 6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers! my old roommate loved baths and so i tried to get into them but its just not my thing.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? something with magical powers!

8. Paper or electronic books? i always say that i prefer paper but... when was the last time I actually read a hardcopy book? i have no idea. so truthfully, electronic.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? an oversized hawaiian style shirt with a Brave (like the disney/pixar movie) inspired design

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it? i used to not really like it but now i do. (Teachers also always used to say things like “wow your parents named you serena and you really are so serene!” so that’s probably a factor). 

11. Who is a mentor to you? i’m not sure actually? I guess my professor is.

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for? not really! i dont really like attention and overthink everything so i think if i were famous i’d just be stressin over every detail of everything all the time.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? nope! i’m a very deep sleeper.

14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? not really? i love the concept of romance and enjoy romantic movies/books/fics but when it comes to real life I feel like making things super romantic also adds a lot of pressure so i’d rather just be chill 

15. Which element best represents you? everyone says water signs are emotional and i am both a water sign and emotional so... i guess water?

16. Who do you want to be closer to? all my friends! while social distancing it’s been so different connecting with people and i feel like i’ve drifted quite a lot from the people i used to see almost every other day. 17. Do you miss someone at the moment? not any more than usual! Im always missing my long distance friends & my boyfriend.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. this is too vague idk what memory to share hahaha.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i’ll usually try anything once. i guess chicken feet is prob the strangest? 

20. What are you most thankful for? my loved ones being safe & healthy 

21. Do you like spicy food? yes but i’m sort of weak so there will be tears streaming out of my eyes even tho i’m having a good time.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? i met drake bell when i was in college bc a student club i was part of hosted him for a charity concert event. he was chill and actually had a really good voice during his sound check but then he got high during his meet & greet and after that at the actual show he didn’t sound quite as good hahaha. He was super nice & even took a pic with me for free tho!

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? nope. i used to keep a planner and even that didn’t last haha

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pencil if i’m working on something where i’ll make mistakes like writing or math but pen if im just jotting down notes or whatever.

25. What is your star sign? cancer

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? soggy

27. What would you want your legacy to be? soph’s answer is literally so beautiful so i’m gonna steal it too: “that i made the world a little bit kinder and brighter and better while i was alive” 28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read? i do enjoy reading but mostly i read fics! the last fic i read was adjudication by @bottomlinsons and it is FANTASTIC. the last actual book i read was the first game of thrones book. 

29. How do you show someone you love them? quality time is my love language!

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? usually! i’m drinking iced coffee as i fill this out haha

31. What are you afraid of? failure

32. What is your favourite scent? the smell of an ice cream shop when you first walk in

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? whatever they introduce themselves to me as. if they don’t, then surname.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would travel so much. if money wasn’t a factor i wouldn’t have to worry about affording to travel OR being able to take time off to do so... it would be great. i wouldn’t always choose the best value option when i purchased anything and would be able to actually support brands that have good values (sustainability, good wages for employees, etc.). i would donate to everything i’ve ever wanted to bc i always feel bad about having to pick which causes i feel most for bc i can’t afford to donate to everything. also i would drink way too much boba (which, let’s be real, i already do).

.35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? the ocean! though i guess i dont really swim so much as like... wave jump haha.

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? try to see if someone lost it and if i couldn’t find them, then keep it.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish? yes and of course!

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children? just one? hahaha

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i have no idea but i would get it someplace hidden where no one would see it, not even me. maybe like a dot on the bottom of my foot lol. i really.... don’t want a tattoo.

40. What can you hear right now? construction noises

41. Where do you feel the safest? in bed

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? feeling like i’ll never find a career or even field of work that i’m actually passionate about and enjoy and can actually make a steady living in 43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? maybe ancient egypt? there’s a lot of cool times to go back to & i’m really indecisive haha. 44. What is your most used emoji? red heart

45. Describe yourself using one word. indecisive

46. What do you regret the most? dwelling on things that were not important and letting it affect my happiness too much

47. Last movie you saw? the warcraft movie lol. i don’t recommend it but playing warcraft is great.

48. Last tv show you watched? either greys anatomy or b99, i can’t remember which was last 49. Invent a word and its meaning idk if there’s a word for this already, but i need a word for feeling like you want to be busy and have things to do when you don’t but then not wanting to do anything when you finally do. bc thats....me. hahaha.

anyways this is pretty long so thanks if you actually read it all. if you want to do this, i’ll tag @harryeatsburger, @louandhazzalove, @bottomlinsons, @nauticalleeds, @soft1ov, @allwaswell16, @lululawrence, @forreveries, @lightwoodsmagic, @ferricadooza, and anyone else who wants to do this. i highly recommend it when procrastinating other projects hahaha.

[calpalirwin]

I’ll Still Be Here

A/N: Oh look, I made a gender-neutral reader! Also, this picture of baby Ash makes me feel things. Anyway, gender-neutral reader x Ash blurb in 3... 2...1

And away, and away we go!

~~~

Ashton rolled over in bed, his arm instinctively reaching for you, eyes opening in still-asleep confusion when he didn’t find your warm body sleeping next to his. 

He rolled back over, blindly reaching for his phone to check the time. 11:38 am. No wonder you weren’t asleep next to him. He almost never slept in this late himself, not even with his late nights out with the band.

He shuffled out of the bedroom, yawning and stretching his arms over his head, hunting for you. He eventually found you in the office, a frown on your face as you stared at the computer screen in front of you. Your fingers typed hurriedly at the keyboard, paused, then mashed angrily at the delete button. 

“Morning, love,” Ashton said, drawing you out of your work trance.

Your head glanced up and you offered a smile. “Morning, Ash. How’d you sleep?”

“Better if you had been next to me,” he told you, coming over to place a kiss on your head. “How long have you been up?”

“Mmm, since like 8 I think,” you answered, cracking your fingers and getting ready to set back to work. 

“And how long have you been working?” was the follow up question even though he knew the answer. You were still your pajamas. Your hair was still a mess. A plate of barely-nibbled-at toast sat just out of reach of your hands, along with a cold cup of untouched coffee.

“Bout as long,” you answered sheepishly, watching as he grabbed the plate and coffee cup. “I got distracted, I’m sorry.”

Another kiss found its way to your head. “How about I make us some lunch?” he offered.

“That’d be great, Ash, thank you,” you said, smiling. 

“Of course, love. Don’t work too hard,” he gently warned, leaving you to your work.

“I won’t,” you lied. You had a huge presentation you had been putting off doing for a while, and your procrastination was coming back to bite you. You’d be lucky if this didn’t take you the rest of the day. 

You quickly set back to work, challenging yourself to see how much you could get done before Ashton came in with lunch. The short answer was not enough to make you feel even the slightest bit of pride or satisfaction. 

“Break time,” Ashton announced, walking in with an already-cut-up individual pizza and a drink. 

“Mmm,” you smiled, your mouth watering as he placed the food in front of you and moved your laptop out of the way. “Thank you, bubs.”

“No working while you eat. And don’t rush, either,” he told you with a kiss. 

“Yes, sir,” you mocked, giving a playful roll of your eyes. It was sweet the way he wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself. But you were also capable of taking care of yourself. And more importantly you had work to do. “Wait, you’re not gonna eat with me?” you asked, noticing he was already in the doorway. 

“Nah, do what you gotta do. I’ll still be here when you’re done. Holler if you need anything.”

“Okay. Thank you, again, Ash.”

“Of course, love,” he smiled before disappearing out of the room. Through the open door you could hear the sounds of the TV playing in the living room. 

You smiled and munched on your lunch. You loved that he understood that you needed to get work done, respected that you needed solitude in order to do it, and didn’t make you feel guilty about it.

~~~

“You don’t need to apologize. That’s what healthy relationships are,” he had told you the first time you felt you had hurt his feelings by saying you needed to work. “You have a life that requires your attention. I know that I’m only part of that life.”

“An important part,” you had assured him, still feeling guilty.

“Love, it’s okay,” he had pressed. “Do what you gotta do. I’ll still be here when you’re done. Holler if you need anything.”

And so had been the supporting phrase uttered by both of you whenever the other got caught up in other things: Do what you gotta do. I’ll still be here when you’re done. Holler if you need anything. 3 simple sentences that meant just as much to both of you as 3 simple words. 

~~~

Ashton kept himself busy and out of the way for the next few hours, occasionally walking by the office to find you still working. 

He held back a sigh when he noticed that a quarter of your pizza remained untouched. 

He knew how you got when you worked- so lost in your own world that you forgot the real world around you. 

He also knew that you didn’t like it all that much when he pushed you to take care of your own needs when you got like this because “Ash, I’m not doing this on purpose. I know how to take care of myself, thanks.”

So he went about his day, watching TV, keeping in touch with the guys regarding the band, doing anything and everything he could to fight against the instinct to take care of you.

But, when 4 pm rolled around and you still hadn’t made an appearance, he had enough. 

He went to the bathroom and ran a bath, paying careful attention to the temperature of the water, before adding bubbles and lighting a candle for extra effect: something he knew you loved when you wanted to relax. 

With a freshly clean towel waiting on the counter, and the bath ready, he went to the office in search of you. “Alright, c’mon,” he announced, startling you. 

“Jesus, fuck, Ash!” you breathed, hand flying to your chest. “You can’t just sneak up on me like that.”

“Sorry, but c’mon,” he said, holding out his hand to you.

“What? Ash, no. I really need to get this done.”

“And I really need you to come with me,” he responded in a tone that said this wasn’t up for debate.

You narrowed your eyes, wondering if it was worth to fight him on it, but his look matched his tone- he wasn’t budging unless you did what he was asking of you. No. Not asking. Telling. Ordering, really. “Fine,” you conceded, taking his offered hand and standing up. 

“Thank you,” he grinned, leading you out of the office and over to the bathroom all the while you cursed that damned smile of his that you both knew you’d do anything to see. 

“Ash!” you scolded once you saw the bathroom. “You’re using your power for evil again.”

“Am not,” he protested. “You need a break. And we both know you work better when you feel better, and that you always feel better after a bubble bath.”

You looked over at the inviting water and back at your boyfriend, who was leaning against the counter smirking at you, clearly very proud of himself. “A half hour. That’s it. And you have to join me,” you compromised.

“Deal!” Ashton happily agreed, quickly stepping out of his sweatpants and getting in the tub. 

You rolled your eyes and let out a small laugh before joining him, laying between his legs with your back pressed against his chest. His arms came to wrap around you, holding you close to him. “You work too hard,” he murmured as his chin rested on your shoulder. 

“I don’t work hard enough,” you corrected. If you had set aside proper time to work at this project slowly, rather than putting it off, you wouldn’t be scrambling now.

“Nope,” he disagreed, shaking his head. “You’re too hard on yourself. You know you’ll get it done. You know you’ll do great. You need to stop and take a minute for yourself.”

“It was taking a minute for myself that got me into this mess in the first place, Ash. Too many me minutes, not enough work minutes.”

“Shh, stop,” he said, his voice soft. “Just be here with me.”

“And you’re one to talk,” you pressed on, your mind still spinning at a million miles an hour. “You work yourself damn near to death 24/7.”

“Hey, stop,” he said again, his voice switching from soft to stern as his face tilted to look at you. “I’m trying to do something nice for you, and you really wanna fight with me instead?”

You sighed and rubbed at your face. “You’re right. I’m sorry. You’ve been really sweet making sure I’m well taken care of. But, I’m stressed, Ash.”

“I know, love,” he said, his voice back to being soft. “Take a minute to refocus and reset.”

“Fine,” you said, relaxing into him, closing your eyes as you did so. 

~~~

You emerged from the office at 8:17. Ashton had been right, that bubble bath had made you feel so much better and you had returned to your work with renewed energy. 

And now, after roughly being at this for 12 hours, it was done. And so were you. 

You curled up next to him on the couch, lying down and placing your head in his lap. 

“Hey, love,” he greeted, an arm coming down to rest across your shoulders. 

“Hi,” you mumbled into his lap. 

“Finally done?”

“Mhm.”

He leaned over you to kiss your head. “Good job, baby. I bet it’s great.”

You shrugged. “I guess.”

“Want me to run you another bath or make you something to eat?”

You shook your head. You just needed him- his presence, his warmth, his love. 

“Need me to hold you?” he asked, picking up on your slight mannerisms. 

You nodded. 

“C’mere then,” he said, suppressing a giggle. 

You adjusted yourself so you were sitting in his lap, facing him, your arms wrapped around his neck, and your face pressed into his neck. You felt so small in his arms and it was just what you needed. “I’m so tired, Ash.”

“I know, baby, I know,” he answered, his hands rubbing up and down your back. 

“Brain won’t shut up.”

“Is it saying bad things or stress spiraling?”

“Both.”

“Okay. Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna sit here and breathe. And if you need to cry, go ahead and cry. Or scream. Or whatever. Do you what you gotta do. I’ll still be here holding you when you’re done.”

[fujimoribaby]

It was raining when MC was doing her work on the computer. She was so focus until a thud on her window catches her attention. Thinking it was a bird, quickly goes outside to check.Under the window of her bedroom, finds a small moth boy lays with a crippled wing. Also he doesn’t wear clothes because his fluff covers up his body and he has four sets of arms with the cutest beady eyes you ever seen.

It was late at night, the bright glow of your computer screen in your darkroom being the only thing keeping you from passing out in the dream-like atmosphere. Rain poured down outside, stray droplets falling down your window bathed in the lights of the city outside. Your fingers clicked tirelessly against the noisy keyboard as you worked on a science essay- brain far too fired to truly comprehend what your digits were writing. As long as the words flowed, and you had time tomorrow to revise the paper, you were good.  Ah. The sins of procrastination. Absorbed in the black and white coloring of the screen, you almost screamed when you heard a thud against the glass of your window. Your fingers froze, head whipping towards the glistening glass. What on earth could that have been? You were four floors up! And no way in hell did that sound like a tree branch! Fear gripped your soul as you chewed at your bottom lip, eyes staring wide in fear into the darkness. Hand clutched to your chest, you slowly rose from your chair. It’s not as if you could ignore a.. a thump..! At the very least, you had to make sure your window was locked! Maybe it was an intruder?! Your breath seemed to quicken the closer you got to the window, legs wobbling beneath you.  Maybe it was nothing! Just a uh.. a ball? Yeah! Maybe a ball got caught up in the storm! Or.. perhaps a bird? Ah! What if it was hurt? Birds always fly into glass! Those dumbasses.. When you got to the window, it was a surprise to see the strange oil shape imprinted on your window. Something definitely flew into it! Ignoring logic, you opened it, mentally scolding yourself for not locking the window. Rain flew into the room, drops splattering against your face as you peaked outside. What the hell is that? Soemthing.. something small and green was.. hiding? in your little flower patch attached underneath the sill. It was definitely not a flower, or weeds. a humming bird, maybe? Curiosity strummed through your being as you reached out, finger dipping between two stems to poke the fluffy green thing. You squeaked when IT squeaked! Why’d it squeak! With confusion, you parted the flowers, just to get a good look at whatever the fuck you touched. .. ???? Oh my god what is that. You stared at the shivering creature for nearly a minute, eyes blinking wildly and head shaking as if to correct your confusion born from tiredness. It looked like.. a bug? no, a moth? a mother man? was this THE moth man? He was real?! “Oh my god moth man..” you whispered under your breath, only to be rewarded with a squeakiest, tiniest laugh you’d ever heard from the shaking creature. “Agh! You understand me, Mister Moth Man?! Are you alright..?” Yeah. you were delusional. Maybe in a dream. You could be passed out at your desk right now, trapped in a lucid dream and you wouldn't even know it because you hadn’t have a lucid dream before. Or did you? Who knows. You visually expected the creature before it.. even had a chance to reply, and.. wings arent supposed to bind like that, are they? “Your wing! is- are- are you okay-” Mother-like instincts coursed through your veins as you reached out to him, only to be rejected as the fluffy baby wiggled back further into the plants. “I- I’m not going to hurt you.. Whatever you are, moth man.. but you need to get out of this rain!” Were you really scolding a moth man right now? Jesus what type of dream was this. With reluctance and a period of time where the poor thing no doubt weighed out its options, it clambered onto your outstretched hand. Soon enough you brought it inside, got a washcloth for it to try itself off with, and turned on your light. Now.. now you really had a good chance to look at this. It was clearly a.. part moth? It kinda looked like a fairy.. but with four arms? Each covered in tiny little freckles. Green fluff coated his wings and legs, traveling up his back and connecting with his damp, floofy green hair and antenna. How weird. How cute. “I- I’m Izuku..” he muttered under his breath, embarrassed by your intense gaze. it could talk!  Arghgfgj! “I!” You started off a bit too loudly, far to excited, “I’m (Y/N)! It’s nice to meet you, Izuku." . .. “Is mothman real though if you’re real?” “Uh..”

[youmightaswell]

Die!

What I did during my pandemic non-vacation

Right before the pandemic hit, my work was slow. My client stable was dwindling and so I set  the goal of finally compiling all my personal essays from the last 20 years into a book I'd call "The Unbearable Heaviness of Being". And then, serendipitously a  more literal unbearable heaviness of being hit.

Still, one would think a pandemic would be the ideal time to start that book. Maybe even start the "Letters from the Inside" book about my serial killer writing project for the last 10 years, or even my own memoir. I had nothing but time. I had to stay inside anyway. Nothing else was pressing, and I am usually especially creative during times of stress and hardship.

But lo!  I am also a procrastinator when it comes to a writing assignment -- even a self-inflicted one.  

So over the last three months I found every excuse not to write those long-form pieces. It seems like all I did was bathe, eat, eat some more, and lay around in bed, most often talking to the dog in guise of actually talking to myself. I spent an inordinate amount to time figuring out how to handle my grooming at home now that my external fleet of professionals were no longer available. Day after day I wore sweats or pjs (careful to change from day ones to night ones once the nightly New Year’s Eve-type cheering started, a new type of closing bell.) The one day I felt invigorated and optimistic enough to put on jeans I had to peel them off by mid-day unsure of how I ever wore such a tortuous garment. 

I felt comfort when I saw reassuring messages on Instagram -- which along with Facebook and Twitter, I spent an inordinate amount of time on -- saying that it was just fine not to produce anything during this quarantine. That is was an unprecedented time and one that was highly stressful so it is fine to do whatever you want to keep calm and keep on...  I did just that, or at least it seemed so. I felt like a sloth, eating carbs and sugar -- things for the last two years I carefully avoided. I texted exes, fought with feral Trump supporters, washed dry-clean only clothes. You know, indulged in the wildest of vices.

The shelter-in-place mandate will come to a close soon. Being in NYC, probably it will take longer than most areas to dissolve, but still the streets are getting a bit more crowded, and people seem to be back in my NYC apartment building, once again, hogging the dryers (which I then have to neurotically wipe down with disinfectant wipes.)

So I initially felt a bit down at what a failure I've been to do something productive during this time.

As a result, I decided to take inventory of my last three months. ***

- I applied for PPP (dealing with Chase bank for two months having  to re-apply three different times at their ever-changing directives, only to be told they couldn't verify my income and therefore I was turned down). I applied for EIDL,got $1000 payment and then was told that because inadvertently answered a question wrong -- these applications are super hard--I was denied and now they were only allowing re-applications of agricultural industry workers. Then I applied for freelancer unemployment, twice, only to not be able to get through, not be able to revise my PUA application and am still waiting to hear something, anything.  As such with  EIDL, PPP, SBA, WHO and all other pandemic-related acronyms, I now have a great fear -- PTSD, if you will -- of acronyms in general. No good can come from them. 

- I washed my hands -- and my dog’s paws -- a billion times. I also did way too much laundry because in times of stress and lack of control, my OCD (another scary acronym!) gets rampant and doing finite tasks makes me feel more in charge. I saged my apartment weekly, casting out negative energy and viruses and calling upon all good things to enter instead. The only entrance was made by my super who yelled at me for mentioning him in an article I wrote about my doorman who passed away from Covid-19. Still, I disinfected doorknobs, elevator buttons, and even the container of wipes, multiple times as if trying to free a genie in a bottle, to no avail.

- I tended to all sorts of medical tests for myself and my dog, culminating in standing a long line to get the Covid-19 antibody tests. (Sadly I was negative.) 

-I binged watched (Dead to Me) and cringe watched (White Lines), valuing a good hate-watch more than quality programming. 

- I read about 10 books, a few that have stayed with me in the best way possible, such as "My Dark Vanessa" and "Excavation".

- I listened to the full true-horror podcast "Let's Not Meet" - because sometimes the only way to quell true-horror is with true-horror. Hair of the dog sort of thing.

- I tracked down ARCs (one of the nicer acronyms) of books that will come out later this year so I could read them without any preconceived notions about them. 

- I finally watched the backlog of hoarded movies I had borrowed from the NYPL: The best of which was "Giant", a classic 3.5 hour saga.

- I read countless magazines and most things I read were drivel, but then I curated the best essays and realized they all seemingly dealt with food, which makes total sense during a pandemic when we all reverted back into hunter gatherers.    “Fuck the Bread. The Bread is Over,” the NYT’s written by restaurant owner/chef of Prune, and the essay by art critic Jerry Saltz about his peculiar eating habits were the best.  While they all seemingly dealt with food and eating, they really don't deal with that at all.  They definitely appeased my appetite for touching writing.  

- And I did some touching writing of my own. I wrote an essay about the death by Covid-19 of my favorite doorman to much notice. It was the article I’ve written that has gotten shared the most online, I think, ever! More importantly, it touched his family in a way that seems significant, his daughter reaching out to me with this message: 

- Related: I organized a GoFundMe for the aforementioned late doorman’s family and raised over $7,000 in just one week! I got our whole complex and neighborhood to participate, and I believe it helped us collectively mourn. 

- Related, I helped a dear friend with dealing with heartbreaking news that her elderly mother had contracted Covid-19. She called me the night she found out to weigh options. Sadly her mother passed. I had a tree planted in her mother’s honor. 

- I signed up with Postcrossing and sent postcards to people all over the world and have gotten a ton back. In times of isolation it helps to feel connected in some way. 

- In that same vein, I participated Oregon Humanities’ “Dear Stranger” project - in which one writes a letter to a stranger and sends it to the organization and they exchange it with other stranger’s letter and mail that one to you. Interestingly I wrote my letter on an old map. The letter I got in return was by a female freelance writer of my same age, also written on an old map. More serendipity! More connection without ever leaving the apartment. 

- I saw a segment on NY1 talking about how this pandemic and isolation is taking its toll on seniors and one NYC nursing home that was requesting cards and letters to cheer them up. It was the catalyst for me to start a new project I call: “Letters from the Inside... of the Senior Center” - in which I researched and compiled a list of nursing homes around the country who accept letters of cheer to their seniors. I now have a list of about 800 names. I’ve sent about 75 cards/postcards myself so far, and have enlisted friends, neighbors, and others to send cards as well. My goal is to get each senior at least one card or letter. 

- I had a milestone birthday with little fanfare. My dog, Biggie, turned three. 

- I finally finished annotating each chapter of “Blind Eye,” the best-selling book about serial killer Michael Swango, who I have written to for 10+ years as part of the aforementioned “Letters from the Inside” project I created. I sent him questions on each chapter. 

- Related: After 10 long years of corresponding, on my birthday we started what has now turned out to be weekly calls. His prison has finally allowed them. Last call I told him that he has not answered my last few letters. He told me to yell at him, remind him, and push him to get on it. I quipped that it was probably not in my best interest to antagonize someone who murdered 60+ people. True horror, indeed. 

- The CNN docu-series about him in which I appear as an expert was postponed but will air later this summer. 

- Speaking of true horrors, I had a woman threaten to spit on me when I requested she leash her dog -- who had tried to attack Biggie. (Odd foreshadowing for the recent Amy Cooper debacle.) 

- I lost my long-time nurse (I get immuno-therapy infusions twice a month and have for years for an immune disorder) because she was fired by her nursing company. After having to deal with an inadequate string of nurses I lobbied to get my nurse hired at my pharmacy’s nursing division so now she can be my nurse again. She is thrilled she has a job; I am thrilled I have my old friend back each month. 

- I feel in love with Cuomo.

***

After sitting down and taking this inventory, I am amazed at how much I have actually done in such a short period of time. It seems insane that I was feeling so bad and slothlike for being so unproductive, when in retrospect, I actually accomplished a lot. 

I guess what I can take away from this long stretch of isolation is this: We can’t see how far we are traveling without looking back on our journey. While something -- particularly traumatic or stressful -- is happening, it is easy to feel static, frozen and worse, uncreative. But feelings aren’t facts. 

Just because I didn’t write my book, I did lots of creative things with my time. I was tangibly helpful to others without even noticing it when I was doing it. I felt like I was faltering and failing, but in looking back at that list above, I really wasn’t. I may have even excelled. 

And now, I think I need to lay down. 

[idv-oletusarchives]

💭 (ask-idv-blind-lady)

Ask meme: Send 💭 for your muse to experience one of my muse’s memories.[Hii I’m sorry I procrastinated on this one so frickin long, but here have a thing now! it’s long so it’s under the cut~ @ask-idv-blind-lady]

Go back go back go back go back

The chant drummed in time to the rapid beat of his heart roaring in his ears. Ahead of him, a single eye watched his reluctant motions to follow. Her grip was firm on his wrist, leaving no room to hesitate or argue.

Go back, you’ll fail, go back before you make things worse

Her bold steps led his stumbling, timid ones, devouring the length of the hall and leading him into the frightening unknown. He stumbled, but her grip remained despite the blood slicking his wrist.

Stop, go back, go back, go back and they might be merciful

“Hey, stop!” The woman flicked her wrist, and the man ahead of them fell. She dragged him onward, but his gaze fell to the glassy eyes flickering over a growing pool of blood.

stop don’t stop dont fall   d o n t

“Don’t stop,” she hissed. “We’re almost there. Almost there.” It seemed half to him, but half to herself as well. She tightened her grip - on her sword as well as his wrist - and kept moving. The chapel slipped by in its gentle orange glow, robed humans none the wiser of the abrupt departure of that thing they claimed they held so dear.

how long before they notice, how long, how long, when will they catch you

Ǵ͖ O҉̙̻͠ ̢̠̲̞̕͡ B̧͙̞͎̳̕̕͝Ą̵̷͔̯̳͈͚̳̕͟͠ Ç̧̛̦͍͎͍͚̳̘͢͟͜͞ Ḱ̴̸̡̧̼̤̲̹͉̙̙͚͘̕͟ 

For the briefest of moments, his eyes met those of a little girl’s, and the child looked awestruck. She tugged on the sleeve of the person next to her while pointing, “Mama, look, a͟͝͝͏̵̸̛҉̛̮͔͍̹̝ņ̸̴̵̴̧̛̳̀͡ a̵҉̴̧̧͇̞̻͎̦̪̰̺́̕͠͝n҉̷̨̢̨͚͍͕̯̟̞͘͘͝͡g̶̡̧͢͝҉̶̛̳̯̹̰͡e̴̷̢͜͝͝͏̨̭̫͢ĺ̴̴̢̡̧̖͘͘͜!”

-too late-

Too many eyes fell their way, but they were already past the archways. He heard shouts - confused, angry, pleading - and he felt a grip in his chest. He couldn’t breathe.

“Almost there.” He winced at the squeeze of his wrist, but let her tug him along. Shouts came louder behind them, but he dare not glance back for fear of their hands taking hold of him should he meet their eyes. There’s an archway and twilight ahead of them. “Can you fly?”

Fear gripped him, gnawing at his insides. No nonon̤͢o̶̧̮̫̥͉͞͝͞ͅn̸̡̧̛̗̫̜̝͈̠͈̹̘̭͜͡͝͝͡͝ǫ̷̶̧̣̺̱̝̺͠no- He wasn’t sure if he said it out loud or not. His tongue burned, almost as much as his heels and his shoulders. He wasn’t sure what she did, but the next moment, the sword was tucked away, and he was cradled in her arms.

Something made her veer off course, and he’s only given a beat of a warning to close his eyes and hold his breath. Then there’s the sound of shattering glass and air whistling past his ears, and his bones rattled as they hit the ground, but she was already on the move, not daring to set him down for a few blocks yet.

When she finally set his bare feet on the ground, she tugged him further along, refusing to stop even when he felt that their pursuers were far behind. She led him through a maze of buildings until they were far from the clean, sheer walls and more among sloped squares and cracked streets, and even then, she pulled him to the outer edge of that before slowing enough that his heart could begin to steady.

The cobblestone felt cool on his toes, and he stepped to lean against the wall of a run down little shack. The grass pricked his feet and felt strange between his toes. He jumped as his hair moved with a breeze, and he crouched down, hiding himself.

“Hey.” Her voice was gentle, like that very first time. Despite all their running, she’d already caught her breath, while his lungs still burned. She took his hands in hers and squeezed gently, then whispered, “Look up.” And he did. What met his eyes was millions of little lights dotting a dark blanket overhead and a bright round orb that bathed the earth in soft luminance. And he felt…awestruck, much in the way the humans did when they saw him. Overwhelming in its expanse, the sky loomed above him, and he felt tears sting the corner of his eyes.

It was beautiful.

He was free.

[apotatomashedbybts]

But You Do...

[GENRE: fluff, angst 

Pairing: Kim Namjoon×Reader (OC) 

Word Count: 2k+ 

Keyword: Pollen allergy

Warning: explicit depictions of verbal abuse ] 

[Summary: Lee, an ordinary girl, with an ordinary wish to have a loving family. But not always all wishes come true, not even the simplest ones. She still has to know that family doesn't always mean the same, it could be a single person too.] 

[A/n: After much procrastinating, here is the first chapter of my spring fic for @njssi ! I tried to make it up to the mark and I hope that you'll like it *fingers crossed*  ] 

Leaning on the windowpane of the moving bus Lee heaved a heavy sigh and looked out at the blurrily passing by night city. She could sense the uneasy yet surprised stares of the other passengers that were directed towards her. Though feeling uncomfortable she didn't care much. If she was in their place she would have been curious and surprised too, to see a constantly sneezing girl in a white knee-length bridesmaid dress, badly messy hair, red face partially covered by a pollution mask and even redder eyes. Glancing for the fifth time in the past hour at the board inside the bus - that said about its current position- she grew impatient, but at this moment she needed to stay as calm as possible otherwise her condition would only get worse and thinking that she tried to calm herself down. She reminded herself that time was only relative - the more you wanted it to pass quickly, it gets slower and the more you wanted it to slow down, the faster it passed. She scoffed to herself as this reminded her of a day almost six years ago. 

"Mom!!" An excited Lee came jumping into the kitchen, "Do you know that time is a relative unit? It works inversely proportional to the speed that you want it to pass! Isn't it amazing?" She was clearly fascinated at the new discovery and wanted to share it with her mom. "And where from did you know that?" Her mom asked while kneading dough because Lee's brother wanted to eat pie that night. Lee's eyes sparkled at the thought that her mom was interested so she replied, "I was watching a movie named Lucy! It's so amazing and I learnt so many things." "So you were wasting your time watching movies? Listen, those bullshit things are never going to help you in your real life! All that matter are your marks! And if you are not studying now then help me with making this pie. All you ever do is waste your time on useless things and pick up bad habits! What am I gonna do with you?" The enthusiasm that Lee brought with her drained at an instant and quickly replying "Sorry mom.." she started helping her, trying hard not to let her tears fall in front of her mother.

The tears that had started to fall at playback of the memory brought her back to reality and she glanced once again at the electrical board, relieved that she had only one more stop, to endure the pain, and the stares.

Getting off the bus she opened the Google Maps to search for any clinics nearby - the sneezing and the itchiness were getting intolerable. To her convenience there was a clinic nearby. At the reception she managed to ask about the doctors for allergies amidst her terrible sneezing. The receptionist looked at her with concern and said, "The doctor's shift is about to close but let me check. Please wait while I make the call." She nodded in agreement and looked away at the posters hanged in there to distract herself while tapping her feet impatiently. "Excuse me!" The receptionist called out after a while. Lee turned her head at that way and pointing to herself asked, "Me?" The receptionist nodded and said, "The doctor is ready to see you. His room is at the very end in the left wing. Please make your left turn at the very first turning of this passage." And pointed towards a long passage ahead. Bowing at the receptionist as a thanks Lee made her way towards the doctor's chamber. She gently knocked at the door and a gentle soothing voice answered, "Please come in. The door is open." As she stepped into the room she could figure out that the doctor had already packed up to close for the day. She was grateful that he agreed to check her up before leaving. He told her to sit down and told her to take the mask off. His soothing expression turned into a worried one as soon as she did what she was told to. He exclaimed, "It seems like you have pollen allergy and you have been holding it for too long! I will give you an antihistamine shot, that'll give you relief." He gave her a gentle smile and went to prepare the shot. Lee looked around while waiting and her eyes landed on the nameplate. "Kim Namjoon" she whispered to herself smiling mildly as she realised the meaning - the name suited his genius looks. "Are you afraid of injections?" He asked after preparing the shot. "Not really. I am used to them." Lee answered and then sneezed loudly. Dr. Kim shook his head slightly and said, "You shouldn't have stayed unchecked for so long. But what's done is done. You will feel better after this." He then applied ethanol at a certain spot on her left arm and pushed the injection. "I'll write you some medicines. Make sure you take them." Saying this he began writing the prescription with concentration. The shot seemed to do its work and her vision was much clearer than before, so she took this opportunity to observe the person sitting in front of her. She couldn't help but gawk at him - she seldom came across such handsome men. Not long after, she discovered his dimples, and noted in her mind that he was not only handsome but cute too, and his long and beautifully shaped fingers became her instant favourite.

After paying the bill, Lee came out of the clinic and sighed heavily thinking, "What now? There's no going back at this point." It had been a long day and she never expected that this day would arrive so soon. Although she was glad, somewhat, that she was finally in Seoul, away from her family but still some things made her sad and she couldn't figure out what those things were. She had been preparing herself for this day subconsciously from many days back, and now she had enough money to stay at a cheap hotel until she found an apartment to rent. She had been giving job interviews secretly online after completing her graduation and she was beyond happy that she got the job in Seoul; pretty far away from her home. As the medicine worked it's way to drive away the temporary sickness, she made her way to get a hotel room. After checking in, she quickly went in for a bath, leaving her luggages on the bed. As she stood under the cold shower, she could feel the whole day's fatigue wash away little by little. Changing into her favourite pajamas, she called in the room service and ordered some cold noodles and fried chicken; she was starving. The food, she thought as she took in the savoury feeling, had always made her feel content and happy. But her mom had always thought quite the opposite of it. According to her, Lee's loving food was a bad habit, just like every other 'bad habits' she had. Whenever her mom scolded her for being hungry frequently and on the other hand constantly asked her younger siblings whether they were hungry or not, it made her tear up always. As she sat down and ate, she remembered that her family had always had dinner together, no matter what happened. Now that she was alone, she kinda missed the noises but didn't mind because it was somewhat peaceful. Once again her mind raced to the past, three months ago, an August evening to be precise. "So when are your results coming out?" Lee's mom asked after putting a piece of boiled carrot in her mouth elegantly while sitting at the dining table. This was the time of the day that Lee dreaded as well as hated the most. Her mom had a strict rule that everyone in the family should have dinner together. If someone was late, everyone had to wait for that person to arrive so that all of them could spend some quality 'family time'. But at this point Lee totally doubted whether she was a part of the family or not and also whether this dinner was actually, as mentioned earlier, a family time or 'criticise-Lee-and-praise-others' hour. "I don't know mom. The university has put up a notice saying that it would be delayed." She replied timidly, measuring every word cautiously, so that her mom wouldn't find anything in those words offensive enough. But it never actually mattered how much caution she put in choosing the words because after all it's her mom and she would always find something to scold her about. "What do you mean by the university has put up a delaying notice? Your university isn't that irresponsible! That's why I admitted you there; for your irresponsible self to get at least a little bit responsible! I bet you haven't checked properly. How can a person be so absentminded? " Her mom sighed loudly and continued, "Or is it the other way around? I think they have already published the result and you are not telling me!" Her mom glared at her. Up until now Lee was swallowing up her words silently because talking back would have only resulted in getting a smack back. But the problem with her was that she had never been good at controlling her rage enough when it came to someone accusing her falsely. Keeping the spoon with a loud clinking sound she rose from her seat and said, half yelling and half holding back her tears, "If you distrust me so much then go to my university tomorrow and see for yourself!" The walk to her room was not easy as her legs felt like concrete, heavy, but she somehow managed to drag herself away. While going back she could hear her mother shouting at her, "How could you talk to me like that? Have you ever seen your sister or brother talk to me like that? You never loved anyone of us! I can sign a bond that one day you are gonna leave us and never look back, ignoring all the responsibilities to your family!" At this she turned back and hoarseness permanent in her voice, she replied, "Of course! Isn't that obvious enough? That's what I am going to do! It's not worth it to live here." A drop of tear trickled down her cheek as she choked back the words "all you ever did was hate me. I was never a good child to you as your other children are!" She slammed her door shut and broke down while sitting and leaning on the door; the tears were unstoppable. She could still hear her mother complaining about her loudly to her sister. To stop the sounds from reaching her ears, she lied down on her bed with a pillow on her ear and cried until the hiccups made her breathing go hazy, until she fell asleep. Lee shook her head to not let the memory dig deeper and decided to stay happy until she finished her food. Turned out that her mom's words became true; she had left her house. She knew that she would do it anyways and she didn't regret it. By the time she wrapped up, it was already midnight and she was sleepy. Not wanting to ruin the still-happy mood she decided to gulp down the medicines and hop into bed as soon as possible. As thought, so was done. Nights like those, where she had just cried wetting her pillow, muffling her voice in it so that the scream couldn't come out because she was tired knowing that no one cared, until she fell asleep, were endless and the most painful moments in her life. But tonight was different and she hoped that the coming nights would be too.

She snuggled closer to the pillow with a faint smile still hung on her lips and drifted off to sleep quite quickly while hoping that tomorrow would be better.

(to be continued...)