#its the moral dilemma ok

[ponuchuu]

2-year mark 👍

eclair (c) @/toasteaa

[voidcat]

once again doing my best to promote claymore

[19calicos]

idk why ppl dislike messy flawed yn’s like. this shit is fun to read because yn is SO different from me that it just makes her all the more compelling yk ?? like she’s making decisions i probably wouldnt make and i think reading a fic where im in her shoes is so fun and almost educational even. like it’s helping me learn about different people and it’s so so refreshing to be in her position, and it’s just more interesting to see what direction we’ll go next when things get messy

&& i have so much respect for authors who have the courage to follow their own agenda and write flawed yn’s and versions of characters that not everyone agrees with or would get along with. like YES give me bokuto indirectly being an asshole and friendzoning in the worst way and akaashi being the number one bitchiest hater ever and especially give me yn who keeps making bad decisions and feels real feelings in her own way! just because some of these people are your favs doesnt mean they’re gonna be angels 24/7 that’s boring as hell

i think drunk walk home is very important and beautiful to read and i think you are such a wonderful writer eggy like i have so much respect for you as a person & an author and i hope u continue to find the joy to write for drunk walk home whenever you can 🫡 it’s different and awesome and refreshing and deserves all the love and support ever (and def more than what it has rn) and i’m very glad to be sitting here reading this <3

DRUNK WALK HOME

chapter two: outline

masterlist

"mercy on me, would you please spare me tonight?" -bag of bones by mitski

All it takes is one look at Akaashi for humiliation to burn in her throat. He doesn't look at up at her as she approaches the library table he's reserved for them. She takes a steadying breath as she slides into the seat across from him, dropping her bag by her feet and crossing her arms over her chest. "Let's get this over with."

Akaashi looks up from his own spread of notes and an opened textbook, mouth in a thin line and eyes disengaged and disinterested. She tries not to flinch under them. Akaashi always looks at her like that, like she's nothing. He has this real talent for making her feel so viscerally hated with just a subtle once-over.

Her head is banging, a likely combination of a hangover and dehydration from all the gut-wrenching, body-wrecking, sobbing she's been doing. There is still smudged black liner darkening her eyes and dried out foundation flaking on her skin. The library lights are bright and yellow, and sitting under them makes her feel vulnerable, exposed.

It's kinda the same way she always feels around Akaashi, for some reason.

He flicks closed the smooth, glossy pages of his textbook and pushes it to the side. "Let me see your essay."

"I don't have an essay," she retorts, mouth dry. Sure, she has essays due. She has assignments printed out and stapled together that are crumbled at the bottom of her bag. But the only thing she has to show for any of it is a mostly blank Word document with four words written out: I don't fucking know.

Akaashi offers no reaction to this. That's the scary thing about Akaashi, she's learned in all of her time being hated by him. He doesn't have to do much for you to feel the weight of his hatred. Akaashi doesn't groan or yell or cuss or roll his eyes or snap at her. He just reaches down into his bag, grabbing something as if she were not there, and she can feel it.

He pulls out a folder, black and plastic, as he says to her, "Don't bother coming to a session if you don't have anything prepared again."

She bites down on the inside of her cheek and feels something awful churn inside of her chest. "Well, you bitched about me not showing last time, so."

Akaashi pauses, and looks up at her, the only indicator of emotion being the slight narrowing of his eyes. "We're not here for my benefit. I'll pass if you show up or not."

She doesn't say anything to this, she just taps her fingers against the skin of her arm, and tries not to cry in front of him.

Akaashi pulls a sheet of paper out from his folder and slides it in her direction. One page, Times New Roman, font size eleven. "Here's a guide on how to write an outline for an essay. Make one for every essay you have due and bring them back next time. If you don't, I'm emailing your advisor and telling them you're not showing up to your sessions."

"Yeah, but I am showing up," she argues.

"If you're showing up with nothing to work on, then you might as well not show up at all," he reiterates, as if he's talking to a small child. He then makes a point of looking her in the eye when he says, “And for the record, you should talk to Bokuto. Stop punishing him for not wanting to date you. It's not like you can blame him."

And with that, Akaashi scoops up his remaining textbook and notes, and he leaves. She watches as he marches towards the front exit, and does not look back at her once.

extras!

tendou gets really into pasta dinner

yn is friends with like everyone. like almost every single person on campus has either met her, hung out with her, or has heard of her. she has a lot of friends and its rare for someone to not like her

which akaashi finds baffling

yukie and akaashi were closer in high school but pretty much stopped talking once it became clear to yukie how much akaashi does not like yn

she does not play abt yn she absolutely chose her side and will die there

same with kaori though she is a little less intense about it

taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @bedeater @deluluforcarlos55 @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @causenessus @kawaii-angelanne @thatonecroc @v1oletfury @lonesomedrive @nnnyxie @crownj1min @frvppe @mollyrolls @karasyuu @ciderscape @phoenix-eclipses @s1ckntw1st3d @cnnmairoll @soobin1437 @worldgyu @snail-squasher @dragonictears @ferntv @reignsaway @Lisoozi @staygoldsquatchling02 @gsyche @yuminako @spicana @hermaeusmorax @shoyostar @whorefornoodles @hqsimprevival2024 @atsumuenthusiast @lemonocityyy @itsdragonius @robinphobia @aboveasphodel @savemebrazilhinata @lllaw @dreamingofyeo @milesmoralesluvs @miliondollagirl @kitnootkat @soulfullystarry @bows4life

[desastre-fag]

Why I believe Audrey two is Seymour's subconscious and not a man eating plant.

I need everyone to hold my hands, look me in the eyes and listen carefully when I say this is my own interpretation based on the musical 2022 production with jeremy jordan and christian borle.

Trigger warnings for: themes of mental illness especially psychosis, mentions of suicide, murder, dismemberment, paranoid delusions, reality not being what it seems, blood and gore and anything else in relation to little shop of horrors.

OK ANYWAYS ON WITH IT !

point number one: Seymour is not mentally well.

He is so open to persuasion and peer pressure as shown not only by how quickly he folds when audrey II asks him to feed him BLOOD but also with how easily mushnik is able to make him his son (my baby seymour is so lonely and desperate for any positive attention). He definitely has depression and in this theory i believe he also suffers from psychosis. The initial feedings to audrey II are acts of self harm as a result of his mental illness.

point number two: audrey II as an extension of seymour.

Audrey II becomes a confidant to seymour, especially when facing ethical dilemmas and his own moral ideals - see feed me (get it) where he becomes convinced orin deserves to die - however i don't think that it is as literal as it is shown on stage. audrey II is an extension of seymour's conscious and subconscious that seymour's psychosis creates as a visual outlet for his own feelings. In reality i theorised that audrey II is a simple plant. although it IS a new discovery it does not become sentient but still brings fame and fortune to mushnik's florist. You may be wondering, well why does he feed it blood then? MENTAL ILLNESS BABEY!!! bringing us back to point one that seymour's subconscious needs to rationalise everything, including that he needs to "feed" this plant to keep revenue coming and reward it for bringing him fame.

point number three: seymour's hands.

Let's skip forward a little bit to when seymour tells mushnik that he needs to go into the plant to retrieve their money. Specifically during this production (as far as i know) seymour gestures to audrey II whilst its mouth opens and then when it begins to close onto mushnik, he stares at his hands and turns them over - reminiscent of characters who have killed and stare at their hands in shock/ in awe of blood that coats them. I believe that seymour does this to show that mushnik does not actually get eaten by audrey II in reality, but is instead murdered by seymour using his hands and then dismembered - similar to orin - and hidden in soil around the florist, but mainly in audrey II.

point number four: audrey II relaying seymour's inner thoughts.

When mushnik confronts seymour initially about his murder of orin and asks him to go to the police, audrey II comes alive with another presence on the stage for the first time in the show (i do not count when someone is being fed to audrey II e.g orin's corpse/mushnik getting into audrey II or audience interaction). Audrey II drives paranoia into seymour's forefront of his mind with his words, getting more and more intense as mushnik tells him to go to the police and prove his innocence. Seymour's irrational and paranoid mind creates this driving force via audrey II, giving him the ability to rationalise the killing of his father figure lest he go to prison.

point number five: orin scrivello DDS.

Orin's death could be labelled a convenient accident - but thats what seymour wants to think - his inaction in helping orin out of the mask is the direct cause of his death and although it is not the same as shooting him point blank, i still consider this an act of murder, the first of many. As mentioned previously seymour is very easily convinced that orin deserves to die for his abusive acts to audrey I, and rationalises that he MUST kill him to feed audrey II who has rewarded him with fame, fortune, and eventually audrey I. He rationalises orin's murder which is the start of his aggressive downward spiral into deeper psychosis and murder and then buries him in audrey II's soil.

point number six: audrey I.

Audrey I is seymour's core desire and main motive for most of his actions - he takes various contracts for money to provide for audrey, he kills orin for audrey's safety, he kills mushnik so he doesn't get turned in for orin's murder and so he can stay with audrey. Everything is centred around audrey because she is a large driving force for seymour. Her influence on him is shown during feed me (get it) in the instrumental section when orin slaps audrey for forgetting her sweater in front of seymour, this is the turning point for seymour's morality and he becomes of the belief some people deserve to die - especially orin.

point six and a half: audrey I going somewhere that's green.

Now let's get to the more complicated part of audrey I's death. NO ONE PANIC I AM NOT THROWING AWAY THE THEORY BECAUSE SEYMOUR ISN'T IN THE SCENE INITIALLY THAT'S ACTUALLY AN IMPORTANT PART OF IT. Seymour experiences a pure psychotic break, hence audrey II being the only one present for the scene initially and conversing with audrey I for the first time. Audrey II IS seymour, just the part of him he harshly represses and barely acknowledges, hence the manifestation of audrey II as a man eating plant. He accidentally fatally injures audrey I and as she dies in his arms, he needs to rationalise it all as a lone act committed by audrey II and not himself. Seymour buries her in the soil along with orin and mushnik.

point seven: audrey II and detaching seymour from reality.

Audrey II serves as a way for seymour to disconnect himself from the reality of his crimes, creating a completely separate entity deemed to feed on blood (fresh and human - why was that specified? to rationalise the murders) and has evil motives (world conquest). What we see is not reality, but what seymour sees.

point eight: seymour's death/suicide.

We see seymour dive into audrey II in an attempt to kill it from the inside, in line with this theory i see this as seymour committing suicide in horror at his own acts and the part of him which manifested as audrey II in his mind. He willingly enters the 'man eating plant' which he has seen eat three separate people with only a small machete, implying he wouldn't know the outcome is death implies he is an idiot. i have theorised that he comes to after audrey I's death and burial and in horror and shame of his murderous acts and the way he justified them he chooses to kill himself - mostly due to the death of audrey I - in order to kill the part of him that allowed those things to happen. Kind of a Jekyll and Hyde situation, killing yourself to kill the second person inhabiting your body and brain.

point nine: the finale.

The finale we see is seymour's final brain functions, bringing all his rationalisations and delusions to a head, where audrey II lives on and goes on to conquer the world with millions of other man eating plants. He gets to see all his victims one final time, and shares a warning to not feed the plants, no matter what they offer you - do not feed delusions or rationalise evil deeds no matter the positive outcomes. Speaking of positive outcomes !

point ten: the rewards system tied to audrey II.

What emphasises and solidifies the rationalisations and delusions are the positive things that happen around seymour as he kills, such as getting into a relationship with audrey I, money, popularity, getting adopted, multiple contracts etc. Reminder that what we see in the show is seymour's perceptions, and that i theorise in reality they are much less positive and are blown out of proportion by seymour so that they are a significant positive outcome of his negative acts. He does not get together with audrey I, they simply interact more than before, the contracts are bad deals, the money isn't as great as it seems, he gets adopted but as we see in the show it is for ulterior motives (seymour sees it as an act of pure love).

conclusion:

I have little shop of horrors brain rot and i love this theory so much it adds a whole new layer to the show, especially the ending ! love the character of audrey II but i also love the idea that he is a manifestation of seymour's subconscious and not actually a man eating plant.

i did not proofread this. hope you enjoyed :)

[sitp-recs]

top 5 rare pairs? :)

Hi lovely, thank you so much! As you know I love babbling about these, kind feel bad that I didn’t include any femslash but I wanted to keep this short and include some sneaky recs as always :D hope that’s ok, would love to see your picks too!

1. HARRY/TEDDY MY BELOVED, sometimes I feel like I love them as much as Drarry as my adoration for Teddy Lupin (and Harry’s too, I’m sure) goes beyond this life, and the next. as always a big shoutout to @lqtraintracks for single-handedly seducing me into this ship back in 2012, thank you for your service 🫡

2. Harry/Ron, things like this fic by @writcraft and this post suggest that friends to lovers might be in fact the ultimate trope. it took me so long to get into the idea of them as a romantic ship, and even longer to start reading it because I’m picky af, but after I did they started living rent free in my head and there’s no way back. rip liv 🤡

3. Harry/Ron/Draco because I really wanted to include a triad, also a bit picky about them but @tackytigerfic’s foundational Aim For My Heart punched me in the solar plexus with feelings (ugh!!!), and I can’t really resist the pull now that @dronarryfest exists. I’ll take this chance to also mention my love for Dron which has superb fics like this and this, a really fun and refreshing ship with its own brand of humor and angst.

4. Harry/Sirius, look I’m a simple woman with simple fandom needs and age gap covers most of them lol I don’t read it very often but I ache for the angst potential of those hotdirtywrong vibes & delicious want x guilt moral dilemma that our Sirry champion @lqtraintracks explores so well. orrr we can go the hot & sweet route and still get ruined by tender wall sex, how dare you @maesterchill

5. Draco/Albus Severus is on this list solely bc of birdsofshore’s invaluable contribution including my all-time favorite pwp, and also my pal @sweet-s0rr0w who gifted me this breathtaking T-rated gem, how lucky am I!!!

Bonus: special mention to Sirius/Draco which I hadn’t considered before being slapped in the face by this gem by @ruinsplume and this gem by one @citrusses you might have heard of her 😌

ask me my top 5/10 anything!

[coffeegnomee]

its not that deep but i really really hate orbitals and claymores and arrow cannons. can we have original idea and not the redstone machine i saw people use last season.

though i do like the on brand theme this time

ok i actually have a lot of thoughts about this. bc like, zam is doing the void traps again this season right? but last time the void had a whole mystique and lore and presentation that made them the super villains that they were.

the void was hungry. the void was consuming the world. they were doing permanent damage to the server.

Those are all very specific quirks of the Abyss arc that made it not just "we made void traps" so when we make void traps s6 it's not the same. s6 void traps are a desperate play to kill minecrafts strongest player who refuses to just fight uneven fights so you need a trap to kill him. The claymore was Fine for that, whatever, but even then it's such an instant kill that there's (imo) no way that would actually be satisfying and there's no way mane would accept that (idk its just predictive negativity i know)

But like s5 original arrow cannon was awesome. It was fnaf birthday party hosted by squiddo. It was classy and silly and absurd and when they all lined up for cake they all died instantly. 10/10 funny trap.

But then using it to ban the server and only getting bacon was also dumb, as was the claymore bc it was nothing more than just the arrows. Nothing unique.

Blowing up builds over and over with just tnt and nothing else is boring.

Using an orbital to demand 50 hearts completely out of left field is boring.

Becoming the Joker and doing psychological warfare on top of it and using withers and making people decide builds and doing moral dilemmas is cool.

Becoming medusa to destroy the spawn builds and crafting a long undercover detective story for the server to solve is cool.

It's all in the presentation.

They haven't brainstormed the super villain side of their plots and its showing. They're just villains. nothing super about them.

----

hoping the star wars theming will give them inspiration to do something actually interesting with the orbital's presentation but i'm not holding my breath.

[jonathanrogersartist]

After how we just had a sobering real-life example of a deeply corrupt politician having the entire system in his pocket, and being able to get away with literally 'everything' because of how his loyalists have twisted the laws to protect him.... yeah, Mace Windu knew the only real solution to stopping a man like Palpatine.

Cancel me for this one if you wish. IDGAF at the moment. The Republic's already fallen anyway.

EDIT: Furthermore, let's remind folks that the whole 'moral dilemma' of that moment wasn't nearly as complex as some think. Mace isn't acting like a giant hypocrite, or showing how the Jedi are 'just as bad' as the Sith. That line 'he's too dangerous to be kept alive' is being used by George as a point of tragic irony, and its also an unfortunately realistic example of how gaslighting in political discourse works.

Here's one of my favorites: whenever liberals talk about the need to not tolerate the intolerant, the conservatives without fail will reply with a sneering 'oh so tolerance is only ok if it's with people I agree with, gotcha! Ya snowflake!'

When Palpatine says that line, he's saying it as an act of manipulation and twisting a situation to fit an emotional response, not a logical or practical one. When Mace says it, he's pointing out something that's actually logically and ethically true in that moment: Palpatine is indeed too dangerous to be kept alive, given the kind of power he wields. Dooku wasn't at all the same situation: he was soundly beaten, defenseless, and not fighting back. Palpatine was only pretending to be cowed and submissive and helpless. Mace was intelligent enough and in-balance with the Force to catch this, whereas Anakin, in his emotionally-turbulent state, could not.

Palpatine perfectly played that moment to make a parallel with what happened to Dooku, in order to fuck with Anakin's head. One can only imagine how delighted he was internally when Mace had the misfortunate to accidentally quote Palpatine's own line, which messed with Anakin even more.

Palpatine's gambit in that situation was to take advantage of the age-old political trick of trying to 'both-sidesism' and 'whataboutism' with the ideals of stopping injustice, and how far is too far. Mace had just witnessed this man brutally cut down his comrades and put up a good fight against HIM, the literal second-greatest swordsman in the Jedi Order: no shit, he's going to think (correctly) 'this motherfucker is the most dangerous being in the universe, and if he's allowed to get away with this, I will have shirked all my responsibility as a Jedi to protect the innocents of the galaxy.'

I don't condone rampant, casual execution of enemies, especially in real life. But in a fictional space opera universe where the guy in question is LITERALLY A SATANIC ARCHETYPE WHOSE POWER AND INFLUENCE HAS RAMIFICATIONS FOR TRILLIONS AND TRILLIONS OF LIFEFORMS ACROSS UNFATHOMABLE LENGTHS OF SPACE.... yeah, time to follow Spock's mantra about the needs of the many and so forth. Mace was doing the ethically responsible thing, choosing to execute Palpatine. Come at me, bros.

[thethirdromana]

Going from something that I like about DS9 to something that I don't, I think as a fandom we spend far too much time talking about when Sisko punches Q and far too little time talking about the end of 'For the Uniform' when he commits genocide and the episode concludes with him and Dax having a laugh about it.

I mean, part of me is pleased that it's not treated as a canonical character moment for Sisko, so I can continue with my usual strategy of pretending it didn't happen.

But seriously, look at this:

DAX: Benjamin, I'm curious. Your plan to poison the Maquis planets. You didn't clear it with Starfleet first, did you. SISKO: I knew I'd forgotten to do something. DAX: Big gamble. SISKO: That's what it takes to be a good villain. DAX: You know, sometimes I like it when the bad guy wins.

I think the episode wants us to think that Sisko did something a little dubious, a little borderline, but it's basically OK because - to quote his Captain's Log - "The Cardassian and Maquis colonists who were forced to abandon their homes will make new lives for themselves on the planets their counterparts evacuated". It's OK, no one died!

But the reality of forced displacement is horrific, and - to put it mildly - not consistent with Sisko's principles in any other episode, even the ones where he bends the rules. In 'Progress' DS9 suggests that there's a moral dilemma in forcing even one person to leave their home for the benefit of others.

The Encyclopedia Britannica defines ethnic cleansing as:

the attempt to create ethnically homogeneous geographic areas through the deportation or forcible displacement of persons belonging to particular ethnic groups

... e.g. making an entire planet unhabitable to its Cardassian population.

The same article notes that in 1992 (five years before 'For the Uniform') the UN declared ethnic cleansing to be a "form of genocide".

But 'For the Uniform' thinks it's roguish and funny. I think this alone might make it my least favourite DS9 episode.

[humbledragon669]

S1E3 – Hard Times Write Up P1 – The Garden of Eden (4004 BC), Mesopotamia (3004 BC), Golgotha (33 AD), Rome (42 AD) and the Kingdom of Wessex (537 AD)

Neil himself tells us (in the Introduction to the Script Book) that he wrote these historical scenes specifically for the show to ensure that the third part of the story was not entirely absent of our hero couple. Personally I think the sequence is one of my favourite parts of the show, not least because we get a pretty much uninterrupted set of Aziracrow conversations. They’re really rich in back story and I don’t think I’d be the only person to say that I’m really delighted they (mostly) made it to the final cut. Let’s get started – the plan is for this part to take us up to the end of the scene that takes place in 537 AD before I take a little break from write ups and dip my toe into fanfics again (I realise that might seem like an odd place to break, but it will make sense when I’m done).

So we’re back at the Garden of Eden, sans Crawly this time. The script version of this scene has Aziraphale locking up the gates to the Garden at this point. Instead, we see him putting a final brick in the Garden’s surrounding wall. I have seen some people say that this is him sealing the Garden shut, and that would fit with the script, but I just can’t help but feel like he’s hiding something inside the wall - the shape of the stone he’s using is irregular compared to everything else, and he seems at pains to keep its outline hidden during his conversation with God (which, interestingly, takes place directly with God and not through the Metatron). If he is indeed hiding something, I would very much like to know what it is.

God’s questioning of Aziraphale in this scene, enquiring as to where his flaming sword is (which it turns out he was specifically given to guard the Eastern Gate of Eden), is in all honesty pretty lacklustre - she leaves without getting any sort of answer from him (not that he’s likely to be able to give one with his beyond half-hearted attempts to find said sword) or giving any indication of her feelings on the matter. Bit odd if you ask me.

Crawly’s opening gambit of the conversation in this scene indicates to us that this is the first time Aziraphale and Crawly have seen each other since the Garden of Eden when he enquires as to the outcome of the angel giving his sword away. Despite 1000 years passing, Crawly recognises Aziraphale and they both remember each other’s names. Not only that, but Crawly still appears to be pretty enraptured – he watches Aziraphale’s face attentively during his attempt at small talk with a sort of doe-eyed flirty expression you might see on a teenage girl talking to their inappropriate (and usually doomed-to-failure) crush:

From this light-hearted adoration, we’re drawn swiftly into an interesting display of humanity of both of their parts. They’re both clearly very uncomfortable with what Heaven has planned.

Crawly makes it clear that there’s a line being crossed as far as he’s concerned here – the killing of innocents is very much NOT OK with him. And Aziraphale agrees with him, but we can see how painful he finds this dilemma: being torn between God’s plans (which must, he believes, be inherently good) and the morality of Heaven’s actions. He tries so hard to toe the company line, but the struggle is written all over his face and in his body language. As a last-ditch effort to prove which side he’s on (because as Crawly points out, this sort of thing is really more his side’s sort of thing), he even resorts to touting the old propaganda about the ineffable plan, but Crawly calls him out on that before he can even say it and Aziraphale knows the argument is lost.

I don’t doubt that we are meant to be reminded of Aziraphale’s actions the last time the two of them got caught in a rain shower when the rain starts in this scene. Unfortunately on this occasion, neither of them are in the position to whip out their wings to shelter one another.

In this scene we discover that after some 4000 years, our demon has changed his name to the one we are more familiar with. Interestingly the second of Aziraphale’s suggestions for some potentially appropriate names he could have adopted (Mephistopheles and Asmodeus) is the name of the king of demons according to Jewish legend. Whether this is a nod to Crowley’s perceived position in Hell’s hierarchy or the pedestal that Aziraphale has mentally placed him on is unclear. What is clear is that the angel seems quite taken with the demon’s actual choice.

Crowley shows his true colours here with the admission that he showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world. This is an absolutely lovely thing to do for a young man who was tasked with carrying the burden of the sin of all of mankind and shows a level of compassion that most human beings wouldn’t be able to match – any doubts that this demon is truly “nice” at heart go out of the window with this revelation.

Let’s address the elephant in the room with this scene – what bug crawled up Crowley’s ass and died? He is in an absolute shitter of a mood here and we don’t get an explanation why. Despite Aziraphale’s clear delight at bumping into him (not surprising really, he looked bored as hell sitting at the table on his own), he seems decidedly unimpressed at the angel’s presence. I’m sure Aziraphale forgetting his newly adopted name (which suggests he was very accustomed to using the old one) and his ridiculous question about whether or not Crowley is still a demon doesn’t help matters, but Crowley is in a pisser before both of those things happen. Despite that, he doesn’t object to Aziraphale sitting down to drink with him, even if his face looks like he would rather be left well alone.

And there’s another, somewhat subtler, pachyderm lurking here too. This is the first time (chronologically) that we see Crowley wearing glasses to hide his eyes. In the scenes we have already seen in Mesopotamia and Golgotha, Crawly/Crowley wanders around, amongst humans, without the trademark sunglasses that we have become so familiar with. I consider this to be an interesting development on two fronts:

I have no doubt that Crowley wears sunglasses, in part, for practical reasons. I don’t think I’m being offensive in saying that if I saw another person walking around with eyes like his, it would definitely strike me as unusual. Some people, particularly at this time in history, might even be frightened by them. My question around the practicality side of this is when and why does Crowley decide to start hiding his eyes from humans? Does he do it to stop them from being frightened or more because he starts to become conscious of people being judgemental? Perhaps it’s a little of both, but mostly I’m keen to know if there’s a particular incident that brings his change of costume about.

We come to discover throughout the series that Crowley typically only removes his glasses in situations where he feels (or wants to make himself) emotionally available. What was it that caused him to start feeling that his eyes were a source of weakness for him? Did something specific happen that made him feel like he needed to start guarding that aspect of him?

I don’t think we are ever given any Clue towards when and/or why Crowley chooses to start wearing sunglasses, but I do feel like both of the above considerations provide hints to his ever-obvious inclination towards “human” qualities.

This is also the first time (chronologically, and at this point in the series) that we see both Aziraphale and Crowley imbibing anything. We’re also about to have confirmation that both of them also eat human food during Aziraphale’s terrible attempt at flirting making small talk.

Note Aziraphale says Petronius (who historically was a novelist, not a chef) does remarkable things to oysters, not with them, which would be more linguistically appropriate. I am also not ignorant of the fact that oysters are almost universally considered to be an aphrodisiac, so Aziraphale’s offer to take Crowley to an oyster restaurant is pretty loaded with subtext, and that sexual tension is about to get ramped up a notch with his offer to tempt the demon into dinner. The knowing look on Crowley’s face at this offer makes it clear that he doesn’t have an issue with that though:

I actually find myself wondering whether Crowley’s statement that he’s never eaten an oyster was really more of a hint for dinner invitation in the first place.

Crowley’s entrance into this scene intrigues me because it appears at first that he doesn’t recognise Aziraphale, despite his visor being open. I’m more inclined to believe that he does recognise him and decides to have a little fun pretending that he doesn’t, just to see if he can get away with it, seeing as he doesn’t look in the least bit surprised when he raises his own visor.

We start to get an idea of just how little Crowley believes in Hell’s ideals here. He’s also starting to realise the futility of sticking to their agenda, pointing out that wherever Heaven and Hell send agents to work against one another, they might as well not do anything at all, or at least that’s the case where he and Aziraphale are concerned. The whole of this conversation is very “work-related” in nature but very importantly it’s the first time we hear of any plans for the angel and demon to work together. It’s no surprise that, what with Aziraphale being the goody-two-shoes he is (no judgement, I am myself one of that tribe), he vehemently rejects the idea of lying in any capacity, not least to his superiors, despite the fact that he agrees with Crowley about their efforts to work against one another being pointless. According to the book, it took them another 500 years to act on this suggestion of working together – the “Arrangement” was first put into action in 1023. Ultimately, Crowley’s idea can only work if they both contribute so for the moment it looks like they’re both left hanging around in “damp places and just cancelling each other out”.

And so that brings me to my planned breakpoint. Again I realise that it might feel an odd place to stop, but I promise it will eventually make sense. And if you’re still with me after all my waffling so far, I commend you – I mostly did all this writing as a way to get the words and thoughts to stop chasing each other around my headspace but if someone else is getting some pleasure out of it all then that makes me happy. I am planning for the next write up to be a little different; covering ONLY the 1601 scene from Hard Times (any hopes that it might be shorter as a result are, I think, ill-conceived) as well as a meta-theory I have based on what happens in that scene. I’m hoping to have a fanfic based on that meta-theory written that I will be releasing at the same time, and there is some historical research I need to do before I can do that so there may be a small delay before I have everything ready to go. I hope you’ll humour me with patience, and that what comes out is worth the wait. See you on the other side!

[helplesslyblue77]

It Felt So Wrong(It Felt So Right)

Genre: Smut, minors dni

Pairing: Step Dad!Bang Chan x Reader, Step Bro!Felix x Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Step-Sibling Incest, Step Dad!Chan, Step Brother!Felix, Smut, slight degration, Daddy Kink, use of slut, Moral Dilemmas but less than youd think because the author is lazy as fuck

Notes: its very much focused on the reader and there is no m/m action cause chan and felix r related and thats to much even for me,

ok so...you know how its like 3 am and you just had a whole cryfest about how knowone will ever love you and you are obsessing over men who dont even know you exist? and then you feel dumb and take a shower and chug an energy drink while you eat Pizza and smash out like four chapters of your WIP and one very dirty convoluted oneshot????

Yeah.

Anyway i literally cannot watch any clips from Bang Chan's lives the man makes me so Delulu its not ok.

The Title is from 'I Kissed a Girl' by Katy Perry, i love that song man.

You had just turned fourteen when your mother had come home, sat you down at the table, and announced she was getting married. You had not been surprised. You wished her well and snuck upstairs while she talked loudly on the phone with her friends, hardly sparing you a glance.

Your mother seemed to bring home a new man every few years, and at this point, you barely even cared.

And she barely spared a thought for you as well. You were well-fed and had your credit card, but you lacked the love only a parent could give you. Your mother was much too caught up in her pretty jewels and visits to the country club to pay you much thought. 

She was selfish, your mother, and used her pretty face and ample figure to get whatever she wanted in life, whether it be money, clothes, or men, she could have it all. The other men your mother seemed to favor never really spared you a glance, too caught up in your mother's boob job to pay attention to her only daughter, so you really had no expectations when it came to this new man.

But when you were finally introduced, you noticed how he was different.

He looked at you, smiled at you, and acknowledged your presence unlike so many of the others had. He even brought you a gift, a pretty silver necklace with a small charm.

He was handsome, and of course much younger than your own mother. Christopher, he said his name was, and he smiled at you warmly, introducing his son to you. Felix was sweet, pretty with a smile like the sun and the two of you hit it off immediately, rushing indoors to play video games while your parents snuck off.

You pretended not to know what they were doing. 

You adjusted well to the two of them, Felix transferred into your school and you showed him around, introducing him to your friends. He meshed well into your small group and in no time at all, you were happy as can be. You hoped they would stick around, your mother tended to trade off men very quickly., tossing out the old and bringing in the new every few years.

It was the first time you could remember hoping she didn't get a new boy toy, hoping that Chris and Felix would stick around. But then, in your Junior year of high school, it happened.

You remembered the frantic call from the hospital. Felix’s hand gripped your own tightly as you watched your mother's monitor flatline. You felt guilty, like maybe you should have felt more devastated, but truthfully, you weren't that sad.

You shed tears later, however, wetting the sunny yellow of Felix’s favorite t-shirt. It wasn't the fact that your mother was gone, no, it was your stepfather's devastated face that made you sob like a baby in Felix’s arms. 

You hadn't loved your flighty, unreliable mother, but your stepfather had. Even though you all knew she had been cheating on him the last few months.

Your mother is dead now, and it was all in the past. 

It all began on that very night, the night your mother died. Your seventeenth birthday had passed barely a few weeks before and you had fingered the pretty necklace they had given you as you ate. Your mother hadn't gotten you a present, but Felix and your stepdad had, and they had spent extra time with you when they noticed your mother was ignoring you as usual.

You remembered how Felix’s pretty face had lit up with a smile when he handed you the gift, Chris subtly shoving a card across the table.

They liked to give you jewelry, and you liked to receive it. It felt nice to be dressed up and you kind of understood why your mother liked it so much. The card had a few hundred in it, and a handwritten note from both of them, telling you how much they cared about you.

You had cried later that night, curled up in Felix’s arms as usual, and thanked him over and over. He had just laughed and comforted you as always. That night, you realized how nice it was to have people who cared about you, people who enjoyed hanging out with you, and who valued the things you had to say.

You dared to think that you were glad your mother was dead, so you could have a real family, all to yourself. 

The next day, when your small family moved away from your mother's empty cold house, Chris(As he had insisted you call him) reassured you that they would always care for you that you were their family, that you could live with them as long as you wished.

You felt your cold dead heart, so hardened by your mother's uncaring attitude, begin to blossom in your chest. You noticed, for the first time, how pretty Felix was, with his blond hair and the freckles dotting his skin, how firm his chest felt from years of martial arts when he pressed you up against it. You noticed the caring way he looked at you, the way he comforted you when you were sobbing your eyes out over a dumb boy, or how he always made sure to buy you your favorite drinks from the store. 

You noticed your stepfather's dimples when he smiled at you, his muscly arms when he lifted your things and carried them into the house. You noticed the way he would go out of his way to make your favorite foods when he saw you were down, how he didn't get a new girlfriend, probably because he thought you would be upset about it.

You noticed how they cared about you, but most of all, you noticed they were men. And it would plague your mind for years to come.

It started out innocent. Your heart sped up when they came to close, dreams of kissing plump familiar lips, blushing cheeks.

But then it became worse. 

And the day of your eighteenth birthday, you awoke sweaty and panting in your bed, two forbidden names falling from your mouth. 

You had never considered them as family, not really. Chris was your mother's new toy, and Felix was more of a friend than a brother. That careless attitude was coming back to haunt you.

So you left.

Packed your bags and went off to boarding school. It gave you a break from the suffocating tension that seemed to settle over the house with the loss of your mother. It made you feel guilty, here Chris was so broken up about your mother while you thirsted about him, fantasized about him bending you over the table and taking you ruthlessly. When Felix would smile at you, asking to cuddle and all you could think about was his pretty mouth doing other things to you. 

You couldn't take it anymore. 

Your twenty-first birthday was only a few days away when you returned from, settling back into your old room and your old routine. 

Chris welcomed you back with open arms, hugging you warmly and stroking your hair. “Missed you babygirl.” He would murmur in your ear, and you tried not to shiver at the familiar nickname. 

“Missed you too Chris.” With a pat on your back, he hoisted your luggage up and disappeared inside, arms flexing.

Felix tackled you in a hug next, pressing his lithe body into your back. He'd grown while you were gone, shoulder filling out and arms flexing as he hugged you tightly in a sweet back hug. You tried not to imagine what it would feel like if he was doing something else in this position. But this was Felix, he would never even imagine anything like that. 

“Missed you Oppa.”

He kissed your neck, and you breathed in his clean scent of sunflowers and things you couldn't quite place. He smelled like home. You jostled against him, accidentally rubbing your but against him and he flinched, pulling away slightly.

You froze, it couldn't be, right? Your sweet innocent brother Felix would never…

He pulled away fully and you decided it was best to ignore it for now, so you grabbed his hand, leading him in. 

He smiled at you, and you grinned back. “Dad and I made you a welcome back dinner, it's gonna be great.”

He let you lead him inside, the screen door slamming behind the two of you. You were home.

𝄑𝄑𝄑

You loved being back. The familiar smell of Chris’s cooking, your video game nights with Felix, and most of all, having a family again. But you still couldn't shake that tension. You knew you were the problem and it made you feel guilty. It was hard to cuddle on the couch with Felix when all you could think about was riding him right on this very couch.

It was hard to work out with Chris when you just wanted him to take you in the dirty gym over the workout machines.

But then, on the eve of your twenty-first birthday, when you were all gathered around the table serving the delicious chocolate cake you and Felix had made, you noticed something. 

Maybe it was the way their gazes were focused on you, maybe it was the lighting, playing tricks on your brain, but you swore you saw a flicker of desire in their eyes. You shook it off, sighting your horny imagination, and enjoyed your cake, but you could never really forget it.

Over the next few weeks, you noticed things. Lingering glances, guilty eyes flicking away from your cleavage when you wore low-cut shirts when you had sunbathed out by the pool and Chris had come out, dragging his eyes away from your figure as he handed you a glass of homemade lemonade. Or the fact that Felix had laundry duty and some of your panties had mysteriously gone missing. 

They both wanted you, that was obvious, but lingering doubts stopped them from just taking you, taking what they wanted. They seemed to think you didn't want them, but oh how wrong they were. They just needed a little push.

So you hatched a plan.

𝄑𝄑𝄑

Your plan was set in motion on a Saturday night. Chris had just gotten back from work, and you bounced over to him, all smiles. “Hey Chris, Felix is gone, and I really wanna watch this movie.” You pouted as he removed his coat, sending him those puppy eyes you knew he was weak for. “Watch it with me.”

He nodded, like the weak man he was, and met your sweet smile as you grabbed his hand, bouncing happily over to the couch and pushing him down. “Gonna go change.”

You make sure to wear your sluttiest pj set, a silk lace tank top, and some matching undies, and bounce back downstairs, plopping yourself down and cuddling up to Chris. “Ready.”  Is all you said, grabbing the remote and starting the movie.

He coughs a little, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Aren't you a little cold? Your Pj’s are, um, small.”

You smile up at him innocently, standing up. “Maybe a little, but you're so warm.” You say, and plop down right in his lap. “There, problem solved.” You smile up at him and he smiles back tightly, hands automatically gripping your hips and adjusting you slightly.

You feel your pussy throb at that unexpected show of strength. You're going to go insane if one of your hot sudo family members doesn't fuck you this instant.

So you ramp it up. 

Pretending to be cold, you move backward, jostling around on his lap intentionally. He grunts a little, hands on your waist making butterflies flutter in your stomach.

\You're winning though, you can tell when you move a little too much, and your but brushes up against something big and hard. He winces, opening his mouth to apologize, but his words dissolve in his throat as you grind down, head falling against his shoulder. 

His voice is hoarse when he speaks, “We should stop.”

You grind your core directly on his length and you both groan. His hands move your hips, grinding them against him. He speaks again. “Tell me to stop.”

You can see the guilt in his eyes, the turmoil that wars within him so you shut him up with a kiss. 

“Chris. Fuck me.”

He tries to resist, you feel him brace to pull away, and so you move falling backward off the couch and pulling him with you as you crash to the floor. If you were less horny you would appreciate how he protects the back of your head as you fall, but at this moment you just need his hands on you, his lips on your own, his cock inside you—

So you reach up, sealing your lips in a kiss. He kisses back immediately, his tongue finding its way into your mouth. The kiss is wild, passionate, and hungry, weeks of pent-up lust and longing culminating in this very moment. 

He practically devours your mouth, hands ripping your pretty pj set in his hast as he rips it off. You whine in protest and he pulls away, kissing down your body. “Don't worry baby girl, I'll buy you another.”

Your core clenches at that nickname and you grip his hair, forcing his face down. He obliges, his hot breath teasing your wet core. His voice is a growl when he speaks. “So wet for me. Do you want my cock that much?”

You whine, bucking helplessly into the air. “Yes, want Daddy's cock.”

He chuckles, planting a sweet kiss on your clothed core as you writhe with need. “Such a pretty slut for Daddy.”

You whine and he finally pulls your panties aside, diving into your pussy like a man starved. The sounds that leave your mouth are sinful, moans and pants of his name ring off the walls of the living room.

You're so distracted you don't hear the sound of the front door slamming, Felix’s carefree humming as he makes his way down the hall, headphones blaring. 

𝄑𝄑𝄑

Felix felt guilty that he couldn't watch that movie with you, but the school called and his professor offered him a chance he simply couldn't turn down.

As he arrived home, however, headphones glued to his head, he practically skipped up the path, Happy to see you. He slammed the door open, closing it just as loudly and tromping down the hall, towards the kitchen. He was hungry, there were probably some leftovers in the fridge. He opened the door to the living room and froze, not believing his eyes.

There you were, spread out on the carpet, naked. And that was his dad between your legs.

Felix froze. He couldn't believe this. 

He had never been so jealous of somebody in his life.

It had started years ago when he had met you, to be honest. You were sweet and kind and irresistible to his teenage mind. And you liked prancing around the house in skimpy little crop tops and shorts and Felix was only a man. You were touchy too, always pressed against him and in his lap, and Felix had spent many a night huddled in his bed frantically jerking off as quietly as possible.

He still remembered that one time your little family had decided to go to the beach. Felix had suffered a lot that day, doing his best to not get hard as you pranced around the beach in that cute bathing suit, dragging him around as you usually did. And then you had asked him to put sunscreen on your back.

Felix might have died and gone to heaven that day.

It had only gotten worse and worse, and you got your heart broken by the jerks you dated. Felix knew he could have treated you so much better than those jerks, but he had accepted being there for you as you cried over those assholes, ignoring the throbbing in his chest and groin and comforting you the best he could. 

But then you had returned home from boarding school. Felix had thought you couldn't get more pretty than you already were, but you had. Your figure had filled out and you had become more confident. Your clothes had become skimpier and your legs longer and everything about you was just meant to taunt him.

You were irresistible, and he knew his dad was feeling your effect too, but to walk into this. 

Felix watched guiltily, his stomach roiling with jealousy and arousal and you gripped his dad's hair, bucking wilding into his face. He stumbled back, crashing into a coat rack. Your eyes shot up, meeting him and he looked away guiltily. 

He hurriedly bowed, stuttering out an apology, but you stopped the flow of words, crooking a finger at him. He stared at you in disbelief, and you nodded. He bounded over, ever the happy puppy and you turned over, on your hands and knees, presenting your ass to your daddy. He grinned at you, as Felix gripped your chin, kissing you sweetly as he fiddled with the zipper on his pants. You helped him, releasing him from the prison his pants had become.

Your mouth watered. How was it possible for a cock to be pretty? He was large as well and you stuck our tongue out, giving it a hesitant lick. He groaned and encouraged, you took him in your mouth, gagging around his girth. 

You moved slowly at first, getting used to his cock as his hands lodged themselves in your hair controlling your movements. You were so distracted you forgot about Chris, right up until you felt a hot heat brushing against your entrance. 

Chris chuckled darkly, the head of his cock nudging the walls of your pussy apart as he spears you open. You moan helplessly around Felix’s cock as he bottoms out, his cock impossibly deep in you.

His voice is a rasp when he speaks. “Look at you, a perfect little slut for Daddy. Taking your step-brother's cock so good.” You clench and he laughs. “You like that?”

He begins to move, long harsh thrusts that you feel in your gut, and Felix begins to fuck your face as well. You feel used, like a perfect little fuckdoll.

You love every minute of it. 

Chris leans over you, grunting those sexy words into your ear. “Look at you, taking daddy’s cock so well, like you were made for us.”

Felix’s pretty moans tangle with your own, creating a symphony of wounds. Felix speaks his voice full of wonder, “She’s so pretty, so perfect for us.” 

Chris chuckles, slapping your ass as Felis whimpers. 

You feel so full and perfect, your stomach pulsing with heat as you moan around Felix helplessly, trying to communicate with them. Felix speaks, his voice throaty. “I think she's cumming.”

Chris speeds up his thrusts. “You cumming around daddy’s cock you dirty girl?”

You moan helplessly and he chuckles, landing a harsh slap on your ass. “Felix, fuck her face. She likes it rough.” He nods, and obeys, gripping your cheeks and fucking you roughly. It's so unlike your sweet Felix, the kind boy with the sunshine smile, it makes you clench around Chris’s cock one more time. 

Chris feels it and his thrusts falter. “You want Daddy’s cum?” You nod helplessly, tears streaming down your face, muffled moans 

He flicks your clit and you come, screaming around Felix’s cock as he cums down your throat with a pretty moan. Chris grunts as he cums inside you, his thick cum dripping out of your hole as he pulls out. Felix lets your head fall forward, petting your hair as he pulls his still-hard cock out of your mouth. 

He looks up at his dad, “Can I have a turn?”

You whimper in response, pushing him down and sinking down on his length, Chris’s cum dripping out of your pussy. You both moan as he bottoms out, the stretch of a cock burning ever so slightly as he bucks up into you.

Big dick jeans run in the family it seems.

You hear footsteps and Chris grips your hair roughly, pulling your face up to look at him. Felix grips your hips and begins to fuck you down on him and you moan as Chris speaks again. “Do you like being used, pretty girl? You like being our obedient little fucktoy?” 

At your moan of acceptance, he chuckles, dropping your head and coming back around. You squeal as his fingers come in contact with your other hole, prying it open as he spits inside. Felix pulls you down into a kiss, still hammering inside you as his tongue fucks your mouth. Chris lines up his cock with your ass and without so much as a warming, bottoms out. You scream, overwhelming amounts of pain and pleasure rocking you.

You don't think you've ever taken so many large cocks at the same time.

Chris grunts, slapping your ass as he begins to thrust and matches pace with Felix as he grunts out, “Such a good little girl. Taking Daddy’s cock better than your mother ever did.”

You clench around him shamefully at the mention of your mother, your pride souring. He chuckles as Felix swallows your moans. 

“I've wanted to fuck you since you got back, Felix too. You're so irresistible, baby girl.”

Your fingers are drawing scratches in Felix’s freckled back as you clutch him tightly, Moaning up a storm as two cock drill into you, rendering you dumb and speechless.

You almost feel like they're fucking your brain out, and you clench around them, feeling that ever-present coil in your stomach tightens. 

Felix moves his hands, letting his dad control your hips and using them instead on your boobs, his lith fingers working magic on your hard nipples. You reward him by sucking hickeys into his pretty neck and he does the same, whimpering out your name as he bucks into you. You can tell he's going to cum and you are so close, almost there.

They both speed up their thrusts and Felix moves his hand, his fingers drawing small fast circles on your clit. With an embarrassingly loud moan, you cum, falling back onto Felix’s chest with a pant. 

Felix follows shortly after, pumping his cum into your greedy pussy. His dad follows not long after, with an unfairly attractive grunt.

He pulls out, and you feel their mixed seed dripping out of your fluttering holes, down your legs and onto the carpeted floor of the livingroom, dirtying your mothers favorite rug. 

Felix hoists you up, carrying you upstairs and settling you gently on his bed, stroking your hair as they clean you up. 

There's a lot that needs to be talked about, but for now, you pull them down with you, cuddling up with them as you drift off, surrounded by the people who care about you. 

originally posted on ao3 on 2023-05-29

reposted to tumblr on 2023-06-08

[snapscube]

hihihi ok. so i’m in my last of us fixation mode and i’m being extra silly about it but i NEED to know what’s ur current opinion on the last of us hbo?? also i logged onto tumblr and saw a lot of rly good points defending joel’s final choice and i remember during the last of us pt1 playthrough u had differing opinions so i wonder if u think the show’s differences affect that at all? btw i LOVE ur stuff and cannot wait until u do last of us pt 2 wehehehehe!!! anyway besides all that i just want u to know that u are one of the things in my life that makes it easier to get up in the morning

I still feel exactly the same about the final events as I always have! The show didn't change it for me, and actually being able to remove myself from being in control of the situation in the game and actually just watch the events play out in show format solidified that further. The connection I have to Joel as a player when I play the game really helps me understand his perspective more and stomach the goal a bit more easily, but without that immediate intimacy it puts into perspective for me how kinda monstrous the whole thing is from every angle. Obviously I don't ever lose that sympathy for him, and I never stop understanding why, because the whole point of the conflict is that no one is in the right. Ultimately I think the damning thing for every single person involved is that they removed Ellie's agency from the equation, and I still stand by that. They all should have talked to her. They should have told her the truth. All she wants is for her immunity to matter, and I believe that they may have been surprised at the lengths she's willing to go in order to make a difference, whether it's ultimately the right call or not.

I don't know what arguments you've seen exactly in defense of Joel's choice, but personally I don't really agree with one I see a lot and I'd expect will pop up again now that the show is over, which is the whole "well who's to say a vaccine would have worked anyway?????" angle. I think, while reasonable from a meta standpoint, completely ignores the intended framing of the story in order to more conveniently justify a protagonist that the story through its entire runtime is trying to tell you is a little bit of a piece of shit. It's pretty clear and safe to assume that the ultimate intent here is that... yes, the vaccine WOULD have worked. Maybe not in the sweeping way they hoped, but Ellie's sacrifice absolutely would have done something. The whole moral dilemma of the situation really does not make any sense unless you give them that as fact imo.

So then, assuming that is true, you have to wrestle with the idea that Joel is willing to take down the entirety of humanity for Ellie. And not really for Ellie, because none of this is what Ellie wanted. The game AND the show QUITE LITERALLY SPELL OUT for us that Ellie really really really does not want to go back to Jackson without finishing what they started, regardless of the cost. Joel's reasons for saving Ellie, while understandable, are ultimately selfish and rooted in his own trauma and having just seen the light at the end of his grieving over Sarah. Again, incredibly sympathetic, but it's selfish. I know we like to joke as much, but Ellie IS NOT his daughter. They share a similar bond after everything they go through, but by the end of the game you can already feel Ellie pulling away from that notion because she's starting to realize Joel doesn't have the same commitment to the idea of her immunity being meaningful as she does, they're only a few miles away and he's already asking her to give up and go back to Jackson with him.

Then, of course, I think what ultimately damns Joel in my eyes on a poetic/storytelling level is his decision to lie to Ellie after it's all over. That's the nail in the coffin for me. It would be one thing if he said "they were going to kill you on that operating table without even telling you what was going on and I couldn't let them do that", but instead he lies to her to make sure she's still able to see him as the father he desperately wants to be again. It doesn't change anything. He tells her her worst fear has come to pass: her immunity, this unexplainable thing that has taken so many of her loved ones from her, is completely useless. Not only that, but now even more people are dead. Including Marlene, who's known her since birth. The only thing his lie changes is the fact that he's responsible for it all.

Anyway, part of what I love most about The Last of Us Part II is how it follows up on these threads and you may be pleased to know that I actually just started streaming the game last night after the HBO finale premiered cause I was so pumped up I couldn't wait any longer haha. So you'll be seeing VODs for that soon :)

[mielwriting]

Confession: With the Pyro Archon leaks, is bad that actually want to pull for her Conquiestor looks? I'm not blind to history, I KNOW the Spanish did many terrible things in Meso-America. But it's part of the history of the area. And that what makes it interesting.

I am flattered you asked my opinion on this! I have so much to say! Thank you!

Warning: the following post features minor details about the pyro archon's leaked appearance. If you don't want those, come back to this post once it's been officially revealed.

Ok so I saw this and came up with thoughts about it before I saw what you reposted about all the cultural inspirations for a fair-skinned pyro archon, but generally I agree with those.

1st of all, especially with Neuvillette and Apep, Genshin has really been focusing on the idea of the Archons as colonizers. So it makes sense to me to design one of them actually based on a real-world colonizer.

Also, I don't know how many leaks each of us has seen, but her design is not (to my knowledge) specific to the Conquistador soldiers of the 1500s and 1600s. Her (leaked) design also resembles bullfighters in general, a sport that's still popular in Spain and Mexico (and I think other Latin American countries too, but I'm not certain off the top of my head). So her design could be more of a reference to the whole "fighting as a beloved national pastime" thing that might be central to Natlan's culture.

As for her (and the rest of Natlan) being light-skinned, I blame the CCP. If you may not know, China, where Genshin's owners are located, is currently living under an authoritarian government. Speaking out against the leader can be dangerous, and the government is actively committing a genocide against their primarily Muslim, Turkic ethnic minority (the Uyghurs).

All this to say, it's not so easy to defy them. So if the CCP insists that Genshin Impact, its largest cultural export, only show pale skinny characters that match certain beauty standards, then I won't blame Hoyoverse for following that rule. They are doing what they can to provide representation under a dictatorship, and that's commendable. I think it's more important that a lot of Genshin's stories have themes of overthrowing tyrants. Genuinely impressive they were able to add those parts (Venti, Mondstadt, gods willingly giving up power, Sumeru's coup, Neuvillette saying the Usurpers must face judgement, etc).

Finally, it is just a video game. I don't know how old we are in relation to each other, but I had my first history class while also having unmonitored internet access. It was a time, and trying to form my morals while watching cancel culture was weird. Yes, stories are important. Yes, representation or lack thereof does matter. But ultimately, it's not the biggest thing. There are big, important differences between a story who explicitly advocates for oppression and erasure of history, a story whose deeper themes may end up selling the wrong message, a story who tries but misses the mark, and a story that simply... has character designs that may or may not share clothes with historical colonizers.

Sure, the character designs aren't IDEAL representation, but the overarching story consistently sends a message of "rebel against oppressors, seek justice for the oppressed" and I think Hoyo deserves a lot of credit for that, especially since it's being sold to citizens living under an autocrat.

Thank you again for asking me! I'm glad you think I give good enough advice on minor moral dilemmas. Have a great day!

[roseamongroses]

its called the parker curse not the morales curse 😒

atsv spoilers under cut

ok...jokes aside. after a certain point when miguel was going in on miles, i don't think he was talking about miles anymore.

and to be clear, what he said and how he said it can't be easily taken back--scorched earth yada yada-- so its impact still stands. but if you've ever had an argument as a child with a traumatized + unhealed adult-- it felt like that.

had me sweating in the theatre because you can feel him projecting HEAVY mid-way through. the way he dealt with miles, even before he started the hunt, def felt like he was punishing his past self / trying to stop his past self rather then understand a new situation +person

the assumptions he was making about miles and how he handles multi-dimensional travel, seem to lean heavy on fear. and that makes sense considering his past, but i do think only viewing justice within the lens of fearing what may happen isn't productive in the long run.

they still don't know how these initial dimensional slip ups happen before the collider exploded and bagel guy showed up. (or do they???lol) nor do they know what decides canon and non-canon (i remember the comic book authority approval at the beginning of the film and i wonder if they get mentioned again or if its just a one off joke)

(getting a lil meta there, do you think we'll get a lego movie esq ending next movie???mfkers wake up and realize they're comic book characters)

-

on the conflict

personally i love a good "hero tries to save them all, and realizes their innate limitations" type storyline, but i don't think that's the conclusion they're going for.

for example i thought Pavitr would def get his shit rocked after his spiel about being spiderman being easy and that he's happy. and he did go through something (and probably will go through something else considering he has a living girlfriend )

BUT he was able to reach out for help instead. he couldn't do it all, but he didn't have to. and i think that plot line is just as compelling as him failing outright and dragging himself out of the trenches as a lonely hero.

the "save one person vs. an entire dimension" conflict is interesting because miles is a believer in "why not both". often times with these trolly problem esq. situations, the person who questions the existence of the dilemma is dismissed.

miles is considered naive because he thinks he can "do it all". but i don't think thats the case. miles considers both because despite the trauma, he's been surrounded by a loving community who sees the best in him.

so he knows (consciously or not) that he can do both because he's not alone. he is the lone spiderman, but that doesn't have to be the case. that's why he was so excited for the spider-club cause he thought he wouldn't have to endure alone, but instead he was met with the fact that the club was meant to reaffirm their loneliness rather then circumvent it.

(also the possibility of this franchise introducing other heros later on is something im begging for btw but ik copyright will nuke that)

if miles is an anomaly, the possibility of his events deviating from the norm does exist. miles had the right to question if it was really the only way or if miguel just didn't want to try otherwise. and to be honest im questioning if miles was really the first anomaly considering we don't have all the details about miguel's backstory

-

on comics

what does it mean to be spiderman? to uphold goodness? to be a compelling hero?

For a lot of the characters explored, their justice is tied to their suffering. they are good heros because they've seen the worst and wil. endure the worst and that's what makes them compelling. but with this "new" generation of heroes, that doesn't hold up when we consider intersectional identities and what the audience desires to see from their hero's.

if the audience is already enduring and suffering in their day-to-day lives what can they get out of a story that only reaffirms the daily injustices of their reality. i don't want heros that look like me if they only uphold the status quo "suffer, work, live, be good". that isn't enough. i love me some angst, but what else makes the story compelling???

i read the superhero genre because i want better. I want to be able to fight back, to question, to explore. to stretch the idea of what goodness and justice looks like for communities that are used to being told to accept the bare minimum and just survive.

[howlingday]

Ok so since you've opened prepare for the Pandora's box.

- First a follow up on the two dead Jaune sisters comeback grimmverse style giving our boy a lot more trauma, angst, and moral dilemma. I asked a while ago

- Second so you know about @arc-misadventures magical girl Pyrrha post where Pyrrha has a Sailor Moon transformation, (if not I'll grab the post and send it) can you do one but with Bleach Ichigo for Jaune, Bankai style with the whole environment shifting and vortex of pure aura. And maybe the rest of JNPR with RWBY watching.

Thank you!

A twofer? That's a first. But I think I can do it.

---------------------------------------------------

REUNION

First/Previously

Jaune was shaking. He'd just survived a horrifying experience straight from his nightmares, as if the Grimm had found a way to reach into the very depths of his soul and found exactly what he feared to make this happen. He sat in the Bullhead, only minutely concerned about taking off soon. The rest of his mind was occupied by near-death experience with his sisters.

His two oldest sisters, Kassandra and Polly were alive. Or, at least, that's what he thought when he saw them. However, their return from the grave was not without its horrors. Like some horrifying macabre portrait about the origin of humanity, his sisters looked like they emerged from the bodies of Grimm, their skin pale as death with eyes bloody red.

Kassandra towered over him on horse-like hooves, her eyes framed by blinders blocking her peripherals. Her arms hung low, like twisted, black vines sprouting thorns and spines until reaching the connected tip of a hooked blade, almost like it was a cross between a harpoon and a spear. She easily closed the gap between herself and him, taking him into her perforating arms to squeeze the life out of her baby brother. He almost puked from the smell of death from her.

Polly was shorter, standing taller than Jaune but not Kassie, while her face was framed by a thick shell similar to a boxing helmet. This went well with massive arms she sported, about as large as a Beringel, that ender in thickly armored fists that hit like a truck against his shield. Of the two, she seemed the most eager with her fanged mouth spread into a sinister smile. When she had him pinned against the tree, he heard her speak...

"Jauney... Cry..."

And yes, he did cry. He wept int front of his sister as she crushed his lungs against his ribcage against his chestplate. If it wasn't for the sudden rescue by his team, Professor Goodwitch, and Ruby's uncle, he was certain he was going to die right then and there.

"Jaune?" He flinched, looking up to see his partner standing over him. "Are you okay?"

"No." He then grabbed her and sobbed into her chest. It was awkward for them both, but Pyrrha rubbed his back, cooing reassurances. Jaune Arc had been through hell, and he survived. But knowing his sisters were still there only made him feel worse.

(Also, I was recommended to look to this post for inspiration, so credit to @ratchetmath for his work)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jaune panted hard as the Grimm Hound continued to wear him down. Apparently, Salem had learned her lesson about her previous attempt with the Grimm and decided to improve on what was already a deadly killing machine. It was stronger, faster, and definitely smarter than the one before, being able to speak full sentences instead of barks of only one word at a time. To make matters worse, Jaune's aura was starting to slow on its recovery.

"You will die." It growled. It wasn't the first time it said it, but with what Jaune had planned, he hoped it would be the last.

Taking a deep breath, he sheathed his sword. He could feel his aura build inside him, then changing its color from yellow to white. As the Grimm barreled down on him, he held up his shield, hand firmly gripped on the hilt of his sword.

"Ban... KAI!"

With a draw of his blade, blinding light shot high into the sky. The Hound roared in pain as it covered its eyes. As it regained its vision, it saw Jaune had completely changed. Seated atop a pristine white mount shaped like a cross between a horse and a rabbit glared with indignation at the black beast snarling at them. Its golden antlers glittered in the dark environment. Jaune had also changed into pearl white armor with golden frames, and in his hands he held a massive shield shaped like a teardrop and a longsword of pure light.

Chevalier Blanc du Ciel

As the Hound leapt towards Jaune, the mounted paladin raised his sword, which had shifted into a spear. In half a blink, the spear had torn through the Grimm, and a new spear had taken its place in Jaune's hands. It roared as it continued its pursuit, ready to tear through the knight and his mount. The spear changed into a sword and Jaune cued the jackalope forward. The two passed, the Grimm finding itself perfectly split in two by a gaping slice in its shoulder while the cavalier remained unharmed.

"Thank... You..." Jaune nodded as the Grimm disappeared and its human host was finally put to rest.

(This post was also recommended as inspiration, so please also credit @arc-misadventures)

(Also inspired by my previous bankai posts here and here)

[fantasyfantasygames]

Virtue

Virtue, Dupré, 2009

Virtue is an ambitious game. It tries to tackle two very difficult challenges simultaneously.

First, it's an Ultima RPG, specifically focused on the games from Ultima 4 to 6. The "Age of Enlightenment" games, as they're called, focus strongly on virtue in word and deed. They play heavily off the existing standards in computer and console RPGs, where running into someone's home and looting all their stuff had no real consequences. In Ultima, not only will people notice what you do, but your character's "virtue" scores are quietly changed behind the scenes to reflect your actions. Do enough bad stuff and the world is doomed, no matter how mighty your character is.

Second, it's written entirely in poetry. No technical writing or prose fiction - poems only.

Both of those are extremely hard to tackle. Virtue set a very high bar for itself and didn't manage to clear it.

The mechanics are all centered around Truth, Love, and Courage. (The eight virtues that come from combinations of them don't come into it directly, though they do inform some of the setting.) You have values of those in the 1-10 range (usually 2-5), roll 1d6 and add to get a total, and compare to get a winner. You can also spend points to switch the contest to a virtue you like better, which ends up mostly just being a bidding/exhaustion mechanic.

The hardest part of the mechanics is that everyone knows you're here to build virtue, and so the choices are made much more obvious. To its credit the book does provide a lot of sample moral dilemmas, but you're still in a situation where the players know that it's win/win, win/lose, or lose/lose and are most likely going to metagame it. Like, there's literally no incentive to not metagame it. The GM can't have much earlier choices turn out to be wrong without making the game feel pointless and arbitrary, and they can't put you up against an unbeatable challenge without it feeling unfair. Those would be dick moves. There's no option for a real sting to your choices that doesn't also make it un-fun.

As far as the writing goes, I'm not a great judge of poetry. It seems ok. It rarely rhymes, which is for the best. It's mostly free verse and meter, but it is most definitely poetry. The biggest problem is that you have to sort of collect the rules from multiple places in the game, and it's all semi-buried in flowery language and intimations. Good organization is basically impossible in this format. You could theoretically read this whole thing and just think it was a weird, slightly disjointed collection of poems about virtues and colors and not realize it's a game.

Being an unofficial Ultima game, Virtue was never published. It started life as a text-only netbook back in the early 2000s. I've seen a three-ring binder of it (unusual even back in 2010) with images, and a PDF generated off an early LaTeX doc, so it seems likely this came from an engineering college. I haven't found a place to get a legitimate copy yet.

[ara-line]

So. The ending of Avatar

When I first watched Avatar in 2020, I always found how Aang defeats Ozai really contrived. He doesn't get to decide whether or not he kills Ozai, or even if he has to give Katara up to achieve the Avatar State. Nope. He gets handed an easy out. The show beats us over the head with the parallels between Zuko and Aang. Unlike Aang, however, Zuko doesn't get handed an easy out from having to make the hard decision of leaving the Fire Nation to join Team Avatar, giving up everything he's known to do the right thing. (That's the closest parallel I can think of, so bear with me).

So why does Aang?

Side note: I wonder if it would have been better for Aang to have wondered if he had it in him to give up his crush on Katara rather than wondering if he should kill Ozai. Aang never had any moral dilemma over whether he had to kill Ozai or not before the invasion. Why did that happen after, though?

At the time, I felt like my intelligence was being insulted. Avatar, up to that point, had consistently shown a lack of fear from touching upon hard subjects like abuse, for example. The show trusted its child audience enough to know that they were capable of understanding tough subjects with nuance. So why chicken out here?

My opinion only solidified after I rewatched the show with my sister and got a look at the OG scripts.

Let's start with The Guru.

Basically, Aang has to make the hard choice of letting his crush on Katara go so he can achieve the Avatar State. Aang makes the choice not to do it. After Aang gets shot down by Azula, he can't achieve the Avatar State. Ok. So far so good.

The way this episode frames this, it's hard not to get the impression that they were going to come back to this plot thread. Especially with the lingering shot of Guru Pathik's sad face as Aang leaves him.

So you would think that in the lead up to Sozin's Comet, Aang would be grappling hard with himself on how else he could achieve the Avatar State. He's not willing to let Katara go. There must be another way. She surely will agree to be with him, even after the non-consensual kiss in The Ember Island Players, right? Right?

But eventually, Aang has to come to that realization that he can't expect Katara to return his romantic feelings just because he wants her to. And this would be during the battle with Ozai when he's in that rock.

Or do the creators have something else in mind? Something that surely wouldn't insult their audience's intelligence and let them have their cake and eat it too? I wonder what that solution could be?

So that's the alternative? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

Side note: I have been waiting for an excuse to use that gif for a very long time. If there was ever an appropriate occasion.....

And then Katara and Aang get together.

Again,

Given how little build up there was to the lion turtle and the fact that the whole give up Katara to get to the Avatar State even existed, I have to wonder if the creators decided they wanted to have their cake and eat it. If Kataang not being endgame was never considered, why even have the Guru Pathik plot thread to begin with?

But Araline, you say, the point is that Aang decides love is more important than power! As my sister put it, Aang is a simp for Katara and we're supposed to believe that's a good thing.

But I ask you: How does that contribute to the larger narrative? What exactly is the point of Aang doing so? Because I can name a point to Aang giving up Katara for the Avatar State: That he has to make a hard choice to do the right thing, like Zuko, his biggest narrative parallel, did. Zuko had to give up the luxurious lifestyle being a royal offered and the ability to pretend he had a loving relationship with his father in order to help Team Avatar defeat the Fire Nation. He had to make hard choices. Aang did not.

The only reason I can think of for Aang to have gotten this easy way out was for the creators to have their cake and eat it too. Aang gets to have Katara and he defeats Ozai. Great. No chance of Kataang not being canon. In doing so, they ended up insulting their audience's intelligence. Like I said before, Avatar was excellent in approaching tough subject matter in a nuanced way appropriate for their child audience. It was easy for them to approach Katara rejecting Aang in an appropriate way as well.

So that's my two cents here.