#its the min reason i havent moved out yet

[architectureenthusiast]

Everytime my sensor alarm goes off I get filled with indescribable rage.

Like shut the fuck up why are you making noise I will look when I care to or when it's convenient to me 😭

Why are you so obsessed with me 😭

[mondaymelon]

— 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮! ♡

໒꒱ || :feat~ lyney, freminet, wriothesley, neuvillette x gn!reader:

໒꒱ || cw: fluff <3 maybe a lil ooc since i havent done the fontaine quests yet, wrio is whipped !!

⤷ giving your fontaine boyfriend flowers ♡

“Oh? For me?”

LYNEY’s expression is one of delight as he holds the bouquet of roses you’ve gifted him, smiling gratefully. The shining excitement in his vibrant eyes, however, doesn’t quite translate into how ecstatic he really is… because usually, he’s not used to being on the receiving end of affection, since the charmingly flirty magician is constantly the one to make you glow red.

“They reminded me of you…” You laugh sheepishly, watching his grin only grow.

“They’re beautiful. Thank you, love.” He moves the flowers to one hand as the other finds its way resting on the small of your back, giving you something to lean on as he moves forward and gives you a quick peck on your cheek, light and fleeting. “So I’ll show you my thanks, hm?” His voice is low as he stares at you, something earnest in his gaze as his violet irises twinkle. You nod, slowly, unsure of what he implies, but you know him well enough to not be startled as he swiftly moves forward and meets his lips to yours. You can feel his warmth… is it because he’s a pyro user? It’s hard to think about anything, especially when you’re pressed up against him like this, mind blank as his mouth moves against yours.

He speaks as he pulls away with a slight smile, and your hand instinctively latches onto the hem of his coat. “Not enough for you?” You can hear the smirk in his tone. “C’mon now, we can’t be too greedy, love~”

“What? No, I just-!” You hastily release your grasp on his clothes, face growing hot. “Lyney, you know I didn’t mean it like that!”

“I know, I know, it’s just so fun to tease you, y’know?” He lets out a laugh at your pouting expression. “I can’t help it, really.”

There’s no winning against this man. “Hah… alright, alright…” You glance up in surprise as Lyney gently moves you out of his arms and starts to stand up.

“Aw, don’t look so sad, I just have something for you too! Surely one kiss or two isn’t enough to repay the gift you’ve given me?” He smiles as he reaches for his signature hat, which dangles on the coat rack. You watch in awe. How come his every movement is still so graceful?

“Lyney, I don’t need repaym-” You’re cut off as the man flourishes his arms - You blink, and all of a sudden there’s a bouquet of his own in his hands, splendid yellow roses, fully in bloom. “Wh-”

“Tada!” He bows, looking pleased with himself as he stares at the flowers in your arms, then up at you. “Now we match~” He holds up his own bouquet with a beam.

“W-When did you-”

“Magic.”

“So you can create just about everything with magic, huh…” You stare at the roses in silent wonder.

“Ah ah, not everything!” Lyney bounces on his feet, watching the look of curiosity on your face with an air of amusement. One of his sparkling eyes closes in a wink.

“No magic could ever conjure up something as limitless as my love for you!” ♡

“H-Huh? Flowers? For… me?”

FREMINET’s eyes are wide as he hesitantly holds the flowers in his hands, looking rather anxious. “But… why?” The poor male glances from the roses in his hands back to your face nervously, studying your features. “Y-You should’ve told me so that I would’ve had flowers for you too…!”

“There’s no need for you to give me a gift, Min. I just got you a bouquet because I felt like it, no reason.” You beam at him as his face only grows redder. “There’s really no need to get embarrassed!”

“Ah… but I feel bad…” He shakes his head, lightly colored hair swaying with his movements. You can hear him mumble under his breath, quietly to himself: “...omorrow…ing…”

“What was that?” You blink at him, confused. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you.”

“N-Nothing! Uhm… do you want to go somewhere today? You’ve put me in a good mood, so…” He smiles softly, and the air around him seems to glow with the sheer brilliance of it. You match his smile with one of your own, watching as he takes the flowers out of the bouquet and arranges them into an intricately decorated vase, half-filled with water. Gazing at him is like observing a masterpiece at work, although you know far too well that the male’s job certainly has nothing to with that of a florist, yet the movement of his skillful hands captures your attention anyhow.

“Is something wrong? You’ve been looking at me for quite a while… is there something on my face?” Upon noticing how your eyes are fixated on him, he flinches, ears flaring red. 

“No, you just look pretty today. You look pretty every day, Min.” It’s hard to restrain your laughter as you watch Freminet bury his face in his hands, his red ears visible from behind his hair. 

“Don’t tease me…!”

“But it’s true.”

“D-Do you want to go to town or not…?” He shifts a finger, hesitantly peeking an eye out between them. “We can go get something to eat… I’ll pay, but you’ll have to order…” His usual habits were the same as always, how he’d stutter over his words when faced with anyone except his siblings… and of course, you.

“That sounds great, Min. Come on, let’s go!”

The next morning, a soft knock jolts you awake, three light raps hitting the wood before the sound of footsteps quickly retreated away. You manage to crawl out of bed and open the door, only to be startled as a large bouquet - larger than the one you had gifted him - sat on your doorstep, mixed with Fontaine classics and even Romaritime flowers… had he dived underwater to pick these for you? Every petal was perfect, and the flowers were all fully in bloom, despite being out of water. What kind of magic was this?

A cream-colored card catches your attention, leaning against the bouquet. On it are finely crafted words, written in Freminet’s familiar small script:

“Thank you, love.” ♡

“Hm? What’s the occasion?”

WRIOTHESLEY’s usual professionalism fades as his chest tightens with a giddy sensation. He had been having a rather tedious afternoon in the Fortress of Meropide - time passed all too slowly whenever you weren’t present - but now that you were here, he knew his minutes with you were already slipping away like sand through his fingers, no matter how tightly or carefully he cupped the grains in his hands. You were a free soul, a rather unfitting lover for his occupation, coming and going like the wind. And while your presence may be as fleeting as the gale, at least the breeze you brought would leave in him a warm sensation. “I wasn’t aware you’d be visiting today.”

“I figured I might as well surprise you! Besides, you always come home with a scowl on your face, so I was just making sure you weren’t having a hard time here,” you smile at him, an expression that causes his heart to stutter. It takes him all he’s got in him to at least somewhat maintain his professional expression, knowing full well that if anyone else saw him at the moment, they would certainly be in for a shock. Your words are entertaining. Him? Having a hard time? That had long dissipated the moment you stepped foot into the building.

“Were you worried about me? I’m okay, so don’t concern yourself over such trivial matters.” Wriothesley lightly shakes his head. For someone as beautifully naive as you to exist in this world, he knew full well that your future would not be free of adversaries. He supposed that wasn’t exactly a problem, though. The male had already promised himself that he’d dispose of them all when you weren’t looking.

Your face scrunches up like you’ve eaten something bad. “Trivial?” you echo, your tone expressing your annoyance. “Wrio, how could you say that? Of course I should be worried about you, silly! What kind of lover would I be if I didn’t?”

Ah, there you go again. Every time you refer to yourself by that title, he swears he can feel his heart skip a beat, the only evidence of his flusteredness is the burning of red dusting his ears. He had been refraining from holding you until he had gotten back home, but, naturally, you had broken his final sense of reason. You blink, and there he is, pressed up against you with both of his arms wrapped around your waist, your back leaning against his chest. He’s warm, startingly so despite him being the bearer of a Cryo vision, and you can hear the rapid thrum of his heartbeat.

“You’re cold,” he remarks offhandedly, pressing a kiss into your nape, then another.

“You’re warm,” you respond, smiling, only to hear the drumming of his heart quicken.

“You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you?” Wriothesley’s face is flushed, just the tiniest bit, and once you blink, you could’ve sworn that it was never there.

“Do I?” You grin up at him cheekily. “Why don’t you care to elaborate?”

“Fuck, darling… you can’t keep doing this to me. I don’t think my heart will be able to take much more of this.” ♡

“They’re beautiful.”

NEUVILLETTE's fingers graze a petal and trace its outermost edge, studying the bouquet with a smile. The blooming assortment lays perfectly balanced in his hands as he cradles them gently. “Thank you, dearest.” His smile is serene, like an untouched expanse of water. Smooth, and glimmering, and when you lean over to peer into it, you can see your clear reflection staring up at you. His eyes mirrored it, pure and unsullied. His beauty stuns you for a moment. He had always been a man with an air of elegance, his magnificence simply inhumane, and it was likely a stroke of luck that Neuvillette had ever taken you as his partner.

Of course, those were merely your thoughts on the matter. His did not match your sentiment, not even in the slightest. For in his mind, he was the one who didn’t deserve you. No, it would be simply unreasonable to compare him to something as perfect as water. You were the only one in his eyes who deserved such a title. And he was the Romaritime flower, only able to thrive in your presence.

“You like them?” He loathes the surprise in your voice. Indubitably, he did. There was no other option. It was something that you had gifted him, and that enough made its value clear.

“Certainly,” his eyes are warm. “I will treasure everything and anything you bestow upon me.”

“Vil, there’s no need to go that far…” you laugh sheepishly, only for the sound to slowly cease as you realize he isn’t jesting. “...Why?”

His soft laughter fills the silence. “I love you. Have I not made that apparent?”

“Yes, but there’s certainly no need for-”

“Shh.” This interaction has made something painfully clear for the man. Perhaps he hasn’t been showing you enough affection? He is a busy man, but he always heads home, heads to you whenever he has a second to breathe. Yes, only in your arms would he finally feel content. Only with your fingers carding through his hair, whispering his name with a smile and closed eyes, only then. You knew how much he yearned for you, right? 

If not… well, that could be changed.

“You’ve given me such a precious gift, so I should show my thanks out of courtesy.” Wrapping his arms around your smaller frame and leaning your head against his chest, to hide the slightest flush on his cheeks. “Ah, but it should be a fair trade.” You tilt your head at his words, confused.

“Only one kiss won’t be justified, hm?” ♡

(a/n) help why do i actually like wriothesley's part this isn't supposed to happen ?! anyways yeah it was about time i wrote for fontaine men

໒꒱ || ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open! send an ask or a comment : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis, @swivy123

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sending a vaguely passive aggressive card?

i (25M) bought a card that says "i will always value our friendship" and inside i handwrote "you dont get to take this decision back, it is unfair to me too. i wish you the best." and gave it to my ex (27F) the day after she cut me off.

we met 2 years ago when we started working at the same job. we instantly hit it off and became close friends, and pretty soon after mutually crushing on each other.

however i had JUST left a super toxic relationship literally the month before and was in no way ready for a new relationship, and i made this clear to her. despite this she still asked to start dating almost every month for the better half of a year. i finally gave in and said yes, but she has to be super ptient as i still dont really feel ready for a relationship and am not over my ex, and havent even gone back to therapy yet to process the trauma of said previous relationship. she said she doesnt mind and even wants to help me process it herself. (key note: she is in college to become a trauma-specialized therapist.) i initially refused but upon her repetitive insistance gave in and let her give me "therapy talks" and whatnot. i dont exactly think i needed traditional talk therapy bc it hasnt benefitted me in the past and instead mostly benefit from EMDR and hypnosis. thats neither here nor there i guess lol.

fast forward a couple months and her car breaks down. she doesnt have any local friends or family so i ended up being her main ride to and from our job even though it was super inconvenient for me. we live in opposite directions on our job, each of us ~30 min drive away from work. so i would have to drive 45 min to her apartment to pick her up, then drive 30 min to work. after work i drive the 30 min back to her apartment, then the 45 min home. for unrelated reasons i end up leaving our mutual job and get a different job, closer to her apartment. ...but i am still her only ride. so now i am driving 45 min to her place, 30 min to HER job, 30 min BACK to her town where i work. now i drive 30 min to pick her up from work, 30 min to drop her off, and 45 min home. (that over three and a half hours of driving a day. she does not contribute to gas money.)

i am admittedly probably the asshole for this but i grow a little resentful of her lack of contribution and her expectation of me to be her ride despite the fact that she does not save money to fix her car or get a new one (she has a shopping addiction and spends a lot of money on knick knacks at antique/thrift stores). so we hardly spend time as a couple since i am always exhausted from work and driving her around. i tell her i dont Want to driver her everywhere and its putting a lot of tension and strain on the relationship bc of it and she is kind of like "well what am i supposed to do, lose my job and get evicted?" and so out of guilt i continue to be her ride.

she decided that me not spending enough time with her outside of driving is unfair and she wants to end the relationship. i agree this is for the best but because we used to be such good friends before, i want to try to be friends still. she agrees. i lay down a hard boundary now though: i will no longer be her ride. she does in fact lose her job and gets evicted from her apartment. by this point she has become friends with one of our old coworkers and ends up moving in to their house with their family, i end up helping her move.

we try to be friends, but she never texts first or asks to hang out or invites me anywhere, and on the rare occassion she agrees to my hangouts, shes extremely snappy and passive aggressive with me and is quick to remind me of what an "absent" boyfriend i was. i get fed up with this after a couple months and tell her i cant be friends with her is shes going to be so mean to me all the time, even if i WAS a bad boyfriend the relationship is over now and it isnt fair to keep holding it over my head. she agrees to try and be nicer to me. we slowly start becoming really good friends again and eventually start regularly hanging out again for a couple months.

my dad fucking dies. i take a month off work and have weekly grief counselling appointments. i kind of ghost everybody i know, not just including my ex/friend, but also my best friend, my cousin, and even my step sister. after a couple months back to work (sleep, go to work, come home, sleep. i didnt do Anything. i barely ate.) i finally start to get out of my depressive funk. i start reaching out to people again. most are super understanding and some are kinda weird about it. when i reach out to my ex and say i finally am starting to feel like a person again and we should hang out, she tells me that i broke her heart again by ignoring her and that i dont get a third chance, and shes cutting me off. she requests i drop off anything i still have of hers (she had some clothes and other stuff at my house) and so i decide to, kind of half genuinely and kind of half sarcastically, buy a "friendship" card.

...so, am i the asshole for buying a card that says "i will always value our friendship" and writing "you dont get to take this decision back, it is unfair to me too. i wish you the best." on the inside, and giving it to my ex the day after she cut me off?

[cas-coding]

my mom is being a dick so im making it all your guys problem because i dont have therapy until thursday

im going to put my vent below the cut because it will probably get triggering, but id appreciate if you guys would let me know any official terms for what my mom is doing to me/if there are any online resources to help

so my mom got home from work today and she was really pissed at everyone and everything. she yelled at me to take out the trash (which i usually do on tuesdays, but much closer to 5pm than the 3pm that it was at that moment) and i said sure let me finish this snack and if i have time before i have to pick up my brother, ill do it then. if not ill do it after.

she said okay and went back to her little candy crush game. two minutes later she tells me i need to pick up my brother. i say yeah i know. ill leave to pick him up at 4pm (which is roughtly 45 min away atp) and she sighs and says fine.

im like okay im not taking this bait. so i finish my snack and i do the garbage. then i pick up my brother and he's a dick to me too. leaves his metal waterbottle on the floor of my car where it will bang around and distract me from driving (i have drivers ocd and a lot of driving anxiety, so ive told him multiple times not to do this and hes usually good with it) and then my brother is all dramatic about getting out of the car and his knee hurting (he is 15) and i say the house isnt that far but im sorry it hurts and he calls me a bitch. what was i supposed to say

but anyway back to my mom. i havent told her my daily stories yet (and i know im fortunate to have parents that care about my day to day) so i tell her this story relating to my friend. i say hey he's been doing this recently and it's annoying and i wish he would stop. i talked to him about it a couple times and he wont stop.

my mom looks me dead in the eye and asks me why im so dramatic about everything. why does it bother you so much. its your fault. get over it. stuff like that. and she says it in this perfectly nice loving mothering voice. im sorry, what?

i said that ive asked him to stop and we've had conversations and he wont. i said its not my fault im trying, please don't say that to me. and my mom just keeps going on, saying oh youre overreacting, just get over it, why are you so pissy with all of your friends.

so im like emotionally exhausted and i blurt out that i have trauma from past friends. my second grade best friend moved away and then ignored my phone calls. my fourth grade best friend moved across the country and never responded to my (five!!!) letters. i told my seventh grade best friend that i thought i might not be a girl (surprise, im a trans man) and she called me the t-slur (i know i can say it, but i really dont like it because of this experience). i told my mom that that friend then went on to tell all of my high school friends (who only knew my chosen name) my birth name and then those friends struggled to use my chosen name ever again because 'oh your birth name fits you so much better!'

and you know what my mom said? she started lecturing me. how i cant let people hurt me. how its my fault i get mad at people. how im the reason no one wants to be my friend. how im damaged goods because of all the shit i wont get over. etc.

and i dont care if my mom makes me food. i dont care if she gives me a house to live in. that's bare minimum and i am not required to love her for that.

and she's never once proved to me that she deserves my love, so in ten years when shes wondering why i never call, this is only one reason why. she does this in so many ways and so many scenarios that i dont know how anyone tolerates her.

as soon as i can financially leave her, i will, and i will never look back.

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

noooo i havent seen that anime yettt i think i will sjnskms👀

HELP NO I DID SAY ITS P FAR AWAY BY NORMAL STANDARDS I JUST LIKE TO THINK ABOUT MYSELF A LOT😭😭 i twin w beomgyu >.<

SPEAKING OF BEOMGYU i was listening to coming back for more like two days ago and all i could think of was OMG THIS IS SOOOO JEONGHAN AND YN i think i need help rip

math is sooooo so hard it makes me vomit like,,

ive been ignoring it for the past few days rip and thats got my mom so worried i feel so guilty,,,,, but also😭 i love math i cannot live without math i literally ignore every other subject in favour of practicing math all day every day (which is also super harmful-) BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THIS

and no i was talking about a series called once upon a broken heart the mmc is so unhinged and such a sadist most of my annotations of that series look like, 'pathetic jeonghan?' 'pathetic jeonghan would totally do this' ' THIS IS SOO PATHETIC JEONGHAN??'

!!!if youre into angst you should def read it the second book is going to rip you soul to shreds and im not even kidding i love it soo much

IRRELEVANT BUT theres a book releasing in like two days omg and im sooo excited bec 1) its the last part 2) its like a cannon crossover w another series which i used to be obsessed w by the same author i love crossovers i just love dimension travel (?) man

ARE YOU WATCHING PERCY JACKSONNN I LOVE IT SOO MUCHHH CANT BELIEVE S1 WILL BE OVER THIS WEEK?? the eps end before they even start eng shows are soo short its so annoying like?? eight eps?? 30 mins per ep??? thats hardly a quarter of a regular kdrama girlie be fr😭😭

help i havent really thought about it i dont think im not anal much?? 👀 (maybe a lot of sickly sweet fluff too) LET ME THINK ABOUT IT WILL GET BACK TO YOU !!

tbh ive been trying to find good joshua x jeonghan smut + fic but i never seem to be able to TT ive given up atp,, like its mostly non idol au and ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP TROPE (LIKE THATS SUCH A HUGE TURN OFF FOR ME FOR SOME REASON) like give me yearning give me pining give me savagery give me tears sigh

i woke up so pissed today because isnt it just so annoying when you think youre finally over your highschool crush and then she invades your dreams looking ridiculously hot smh like i PHYSICALLY felt my heart pound in my sleep ive been able to think only about her all day long its driving me crazy and this is tmi i think💀

OMG WHAT ABOUT 🎀 or 💥 or 💫 WHICHEVER YOU THINK SUITS ME BETTER YOU DECIDE !!!

also im almost 20 hehe youre only like four years older than me 👀

Tell me if you dooo watch it i’m actually super into it right now

BEOMGYU TWIN- I AM SOOBIN TWIN. WE SHOULD PUT TOGETHER A GROUP OF TXT BIRTHDAY TWINS AND JUST DO DANCE AND SONG COVERS OF ALL THEIR SONGS FOR ATTENTION AND LIKE MOVE INTO A HPUSE TOGETHER AND RECREATE ALL OF THEIR TIKTOKS AND MVS AND INSTAGRAM POSTS HOW FUNNY WOULD THAT BE

NO IT IS WHEN THAT SONG CAME OUT I WAS LIKE this is theirs. ITS SO THEM.

Learning very interesting things about you…. Math is hard… but loves math….

ILL CHECK OUT THAT BOOK SERIES IF I REMEMBER IT SOUNDS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY

HAVE YOU READ THAT BOOK THAT JUST RELEASED YET?! IS IT GOOD?! WORTH THE WAIT?!

I AM WATCHING PJO I FANT BELIEVE ITS ALREADY OVER?! I DO STILL HAVE THREE EPISODES TO WATCH THOUGH IM SO SCARED OF SPOILERS I CANT EVEN GET IN TIKTOK 😭

noted noted noted… prefer yearning…

THAT IS SO ANNOYING IM SO SORRY YOU WOKE UP TO THAT. Thinking that you moved on only to find out you DIDNT i would be so stressed… crushes are… stressful….

[c052794]

You want to hear what i hate about you! Here it is the i hate you list!

Somthing I hate about you,

is when I see breath taking moments youre the first thing I think about. Wanting to know what you think about it and knowing it's a dead end thought. Cuz your not here to tell me.

I hate that you have an expiration date. Yes i hate that god gave us a fixed time to do this and it feels like its raceing by faster then i can even think sometimes.

I hate that there's things out there with teeth claws and purpose that could hurt you take you away and I'd be helpless to stop it. Like a cave man.

I hate that I love you like a teenage boy instead of the brolly dudes you like.

I hate that even though we havent spent more then 2 weeks together in our whole life, out side of school, when i go to talk to myself your voice is the voice of reason hear.

I hate that I've missed out on so much with you, so many first time things. Like graduating, job, ect.

I hate that I can't control who my heart wants. And that I compare them to you.

I hate that we live in the same city that takes less then 15 mins to get anywhere yet I never run into you.

I hate that I can take on a whole new life, lose weight, travel, travel alone, quit jobs, gain weight, start a new job, let it go, live in a van, live by myself, live with others, make fun of racism in a racist as city while looking like the thing they are hating on, all things that would petrifie most people. But when it comes to you I freeze. Everytime.

I hate that I can go all day without thinking about you and then out of no where boom emo town for the next, whenever it decides to stop.

I hate that I have to write that I hate things instead of I love because our generation is so messed up, it purposely mistakes love for obsession because we for some reason forgot how to so we rather treat it as cringe and ick.

I hate that I don't hate that I love you. It'd make it easier to let go and move on. I hate that I don't want to move on. I hate that I just wrote that. I hate that I hate that I wrote that.

I love you, write it off as obsession.

I hate that you probably will.

[ghostemanemusicvideos]

im trying not to be on here unless im actively in the mood to post or scroll my bad. i went to my grandmas today. that was fine. i didnt really have weed all day and my vape kept dying and my grandma lives an hr away so the lack of spotify hurted but i got thru it. and she made flautas so that was A+. i miss my bf. my moms bf got my resume printed for my aquarium interview tomorrow. thats gonna be...a lot to take on if i get it, both good and bad. if i even get an offer. but itd be worth it to get to go to the aquarium every day. i already had a long commute job. i need to make money. i wanna go back to school so i can do other shit at this same aquarium and always have wanted to. shits hard. my mom mentioned me moving out again today and said its bc my bf makes enough money. whatever i guess. me and him had an argument about that today bc his money just seems to be flying out lately and i looked at his bank account and its all those damn payday apps. they just get ppl sucked in a cycle. my brothers been a little cunt lately. he doesnt want me anywhere near him and then comes and uses all my vapes. cant do shit bc he just starts being a prick if i say no 80% of the time and no one does shit about it. whatever hes leaving soon. ive been going thru my spotify and deleting old shit. i wanna keep everything i love. i skip too much in my library, constantly. and i need to find new music. i wish i could text my bf. we went to the mall to pick up my phone like 10 min before i closed (bc i had to go to the grandmas and they werent finished before i left) and for some reason they were shut up already :( its ok. i like using tumblr on here. i tag a lot more. sorry about whatever this is and it has no point and i havent smoked all day and came home and opened up a new cart bc edwin dropped it off while i was gone (feel bad for being mad he didnt even get the money for it or the last yet and was still nice).

[dumbassscout]

i see a lot of 13 yr olds on tumblr these days, so id like to share some advice i wish i had known using tumblr at age 13.

this is also probably not an original idea from me lol, someone has got to have done this before. i would usually put this under a cut but ive decided not to for now

be aware that this site is like NOTORIOUSLY harmful. you may think you’re above it or too mature for it to hurt you, but trust me, you aren’t. since you will probably not be stopped by that warning, maybe take some precautions/keep some stuff in mind to stay safe.

i had tumblr savior for my first experiences with the site. im pretty sure it still works and it’s regularly updated, so take a look into that. it blocks posts with certain keywords from being seen on your radar, and can also push/allow posts with other keywords to always be shown. i would advise getting it or a similar extension to custom block triggering/harmful content.

don’t put other/more popular users in your fandom/community on a pedestal. they’re people behind a blog, just like you are. don’t feel intimidated by the people in your own community, they are just people the same way you are a person. they can mess up at times, and so can you.

making friends is a great thing on this site, but keep an eye on new online friends’ behaviors. it is exciting to meet new people, but you want to be aware of toxic friends. same goes for your mutuals. overall, keep people on this site at an arm’s length until you’ve gotten to know them enough personally to know that they’re genuine people. as you get older you can relax on this, but as a young teen it’s better to be hyperaware than to be blissfully ignorant as you get hurt.

onto more broad things, your theme doesn’t have to be perfect. you dont have to make a custom html/edited html website theme for your blog, you can leave it as tumblr default. if you enjoy organizing that, then by all means go ahead! but don’t feel like it is necessary for your blog, most of the time you will get a new theme set up and check on it on a month and find that it actually looks terrible to you. if you’d rather just have it as a basic/default site, then that is perfectly normal.

your blog’s theme/topic is your choice, and can be uniquely you. some people have many blogs for many things, just a few, or just one with everything. it is up to you how you want to do it! the themes you choose, topics, are up to you. fads and trends are cool but finding what works for you personally is way more fun. your blog is supposed to be fun. you are supposed to enjoy using tumblr. don’t compromise that for a trend. make your blog(s) however you want, however it pleases you. it can feel pressuring to have a perfect blog, but it’s better to just make your appearance the way it would make you happy.

also, tag systems are awesome! but they are not necessary unless you’re tagging trigger warnings. always tag those! but i know a lot of people have personal tagging systems to organize their blog, which is totally cool! but again, personal tag systems are not necessary, and if they feel unnecessary to you, don’t use them. but again, tag triggering content, especially if you are asked to.

archiving/deleting/creating new blogs is a whole other process. some people like to start with a clean slate every time they switch to a new fandom, and let their old user be archived or deleted. this is perfectly respectable (and probably the right thing to do) personally, i just switch my blog over to whatever im feeling that month and people can unfollow if they no longer enjoy my blog (i dont have that big of a following on this blog). it’s really a personal decision, and if you want to restart your blog you will know when to/if you want to.

reblog art, but never “repost” it. aka dont take the image and post it on your own blog, just reblog it from the original poster. its common sense but not everyone knows? idk

if you end up having some or many followers, make sure to check yourself. appreciate your followers, respect them. they are people with blogs. just like you. don’t let a high number inflate your ego way out of proportion, it’s easy to fall into that sense of power.

respect people’s pronouns. even if you for some reason have a disagreement with them, or you don’t understand why/how their identity works, just use the correct pronouns that they ask you to. it costs you zero dollars and zero cents, and is incredibly respectful

as a young teen, don’t get involved/let yourself get buried in tumblr-wide discourse. examples of this include the bi vs pan debate, flag discourse etc. most ppl who i know who were attentive to things similar to that at a young age ended up being affected negatively by it. pay some attention to what pertains to you and also pay attention to what you can identify as right or wrong, but don’t let people’s opinions on your dash influence you in times of discourse. go and look at both sides of those kinds of debates if you’re interested, and form an opinion from there.

speaking of which, sometimes people will just post their takes on literally anything and youll come across it. take everything with a grain of salt unless there is links to proof (if applicable, not always needed). sometimes bad takes just havent had someone to reblog and disprove yet.

speaking of discourse, there is always discourse on this site in every fandom, every community. form your own opinions always, but keep your moral compass in mind. don’t compromise your morals and sense of right and wrong to enjoy certain fan-media. if something seems off, it probably is.

people make mistakes, and if someone did something kind of shitty/had a terrible take/belief (not irredemably shitty, those ppl do not need ur attention) and they genuinely apologize for the shit they did and learn from it, move on. leave some shit in the past, holding grudges isnt good for your mental health and people change. but again, always take things with a grain of salt.

you dont need a high follower count to get traction on your posts. it might help, but you can have a low follower count with high interaction or a high follower count with little to know interaction. the best advice i have is to tag what it is relevant to, whether it’s a fandom, aesthetic, etc and people who regularly check those tags will find it.

if you ever get anon hate for some reason, just delete it from ur inbox n move on. ppl who send anon hate want to see you post it and respond to it. if they said some really really MEAN shit though, it may be best to talk to a friend about it for comfort, or take a break from tumblr for a hot min. most importantly, report it, close your ask box/change it to no anonymous asks.

if at some point you choose to voice your opinion about a highly debated topic at the time, be aware that people who disagree might attack you for it. be aware, and be safe about it.

a lot of people swear by xkit. i have never used it in my life, but from the looks of it, it makes using tumblr so much more bearable. it breaks sometimes with tumblr updates, but apparently it’s worth it. again, look into it, but it’s not necessary to use the site.

do niche shit. start sideblogs without a plan in mind. make aus, make art, make writing, or make nothing at all. reblog the things you love wherever you want them to be reblogged. comment on people’s creations if you love them, they probably would love to hear how much you enjoyed it. appreciate how wonderful the better part of this site is, enjoy the free access to view and appreciate others’ creations and ideas.

i would put a lot more on here, but i feel like 20 is probably too much already. if anyone has anything to add, definitely rb with ur addition

overall, do the things you love on here, keep yourself safe, and be respectful of others.

[naturallyalisia]

Honestly...

you ever started your day off on a good foot ? You wash your face, cleanse, tone and moisturize. You work out for 20 mins and actually finish. You wash the dishes and all of a sudden some one fucks it up ? Or worse. Some one close to you fucks it up.

Now your mad, sour and don’t want to do anything anymore. 

Suddenly, everything you aren’t doing is in your face.. no no everything that you haven’t completed is being thrown into your face.. 

But! no that’s not the reason, it’s because you couldn’t simply communicate that you wanted/needed help setting up the light bulb.

Yes. You read that correctly. A lightbulb. but no that’s not the reason either. it’s because you didn’t finish the task and they had to do it.  That means that if something so simple can’t be done then everything else can’t.

Now you don’t care about them. Also you still havent tried to drive on your own despite being afraid but it makes sense because who would want to be a taxi driver for someone who has a license ? No one. Understandable.

But wait! you don’t do anything together, no goals, no nothing, empty. Why don’t you tell them to sit that ass down and make a plan because obviously its up to you to show you want more out of life.

Don’t forget you have a debt to pay because they already paid their half. 

But! thats not all. what have you done in the past 3 months and completed ?

How about what have we done in the past 4 years and completed ?

How can we have kids and you can’t drive ? what about a mortgage ?

If I have to do everything by myself, then I don’t need you ( this is not the first time i’ve been told I’m not needed)

They scream “you have a problem” just do something..

but.. thats fine and dandy but how can you know what the problem is if you genuinely do not know ? what can you do.. something can range to many things. It doesn't register. You ask. Think about it is the answer get and nothing comes to you.

They have a choice to eliminate the “problem” (moi) simply and easily. but no. 

At this point you almost don’t care if they do. you understand where they’re coming from. You say you’ll try to be more present and aware so it isnt an issue but sometimes it will resurface.. maybe not for a while just until it slips and its back to square 1.

All because of lightbulb and having the audacity to challenge what was meant to be constructive criticism. All of a sudden despite your efforts to grow and do more in other areas to be a better version of yourself (since that is the root) after all... you’ve failed again. 

I don’t know. Maybe I am the negative party or maybe it’s the other way around but I will not paint it as such. 

If it’s meant to fall apart so be it,

Even if it means I’m hated, disliked and cast aside by a family that’s only meet me fleetingly so be it. 

Sometimes you outgrow a situation and that’s fine.

Now it’s time to dissect and reflect as.. how many times can you keep trying until you realize it no longer makes any sense?

Now after all is done, they try to ease themselves back in gently as if they didn’t dog you 30 mins ago. 

I always wonder what if I carried that same energy. What if I dished it out the same way I’ve received it. They say they don’t mind but it’s a lie.. I can be cruel with my words too but I choose not to.

Delivery is one hell of a thing, do it right you’ll get it right. Screaming and shouting and throwing a tantrum does nothing. Maybe if you’re 5. But if you're a frustrated adult speaking to another that just isn’t getting it  then what’s the point? 

Honestly at this phase in time, I’m think why ? I don’t understand what they want from me anymore. I can’t deal with one thing snowballing into everything I’ve done wrong from the start of time but, if nothing changes you have that right to continuously throw it in their face right ? Even if it’s something as small as a lightbulb. 

Funny, I’ve only ever once, had an opportunity to be the one to complain and voice what I didn’t like and it wasn’t small either. It was a big thing and I chose to move forward and try and put it behind us. Yet I never bring that up as ammo for anything.

I think to myself maybe not going into my partnership with no expectations didn’t work out in my favor.

I don’t like who I’ve become here, I don’t like her. Everyone sees smiles and chalk it up to cabin fever or lovers quarrel but it’s not supposed to hurt like this. Now it’s numbing. Lost a whole day fucking around with this on my head. 

I’ve prayed that we could be on our respective paths to lead us to where we want to be in life in our goals. Prayed that we could see and understand each other. prayed prayed, hoped.. but maybe this aint it...

[sirenasinsib]

Spider

If you Like it please don't for get to press that Reblog! its means a lot to me!

WOW I havent posted in a while, been working on my own stuff but here is some personal works. Expecet to see alot of content of Spider and Viper. Ive been playing a ton of Titanfall so im in that mood rigt now. 

Fandom: Titanfall

Relatonship: Viper/OC Character

Warnings: Very long clocking in around 3260 Words! Explict language, canon violence, mutual pinging, build to relationship, and smut at the end!

He really didn't see why the ship was built to have a limited number of dorms. It was hard to find a spot and claim it as yours when it's already six members and their Titan, but the recent addition made it just a bit harder.

Spider, he was told, was to be dorming with him. Sloane and Ash were already in one room as was Ritcher and Kane, and he preferred to not have one of the other two males to be dorming with him, he saw how messy they kept theirs. Blisk's room was of course off limits. They were just about to take off when he heard a knock on the door before it slid open. Spider was there with only 2 duffle bags. She walked in quietly looking around the room.

The "kitchen" was towards the front of the room, right beside the entrance, a couch and TV opposite of it. Towards the back were two beds in opposite corners and lockers on both sides. The left side was noticeable more used with the bed sheets being almost completely off the bed, an extra locker that was slightly open due to the amount of tech it was holding. She took to the right side. Placing her duffle bags on the bed. Viper didn't focus on her as she moved around. He would have to just get used to another person in the room.

It was actually quite easy getting used to another person in the same room as him. The first week she slept with most of her gear on. The second week he noticed she would get up very early, earlier than Ash even, he didn't know where she went at the time, too busy trying to get more sleep before the day started. Hawk, his titan, told him later where Spider went. Often she went to the Titan hanger bay and got into her own Titan, JD. 

She appears to be under stress. JD has stated that they are not used to working with others. He also stated that she fears word of her being with the Apex Predators might get out and someone from her past may try to capture her.

Hawk spoke into the link as he worked on one of her thrusters. 

Is she that valuable of a member if she needs protection?

You were only a Predator if you had the skills. Needing protection meant you were weak. 

Calculations suggest a 78% better performance in missions with the assistance of a Monarch Titan and Pilot. It is also easier to be assisted, that is a possible reason why they joined instead of remaining in hiding. They were on low ammo and power, yet we’re able to steal just enough from both Militia and IMC units without being caught. 

It was one of their first real big missions after joining. They were to defend a couple of units going in to steal information and escort them out and to extraction. Spider had JD watch the back as she jumped from rooftop to rooftop calling out as well as distracting. 

“Would be nice if I got some help! Got a Legion hiding with an Ion!”

Kane yelled over the comms. Viper was on the far side of the complex and was dealing with his own Titan, same with the others when he heard Spider speak up. 

“On the way, can you distract them?”

“I’m in a fucking Scorch you bug! What do you think?!”

He spotted JD quickly running to the back of the area, halting slightly he guessed to pick up Spider before he started to hear the faint rattle of an electric charged XO-16.

“Enemy shields down! Kane?!”

He heard Kane laughing along with the roar of a Flame core activating and the sound of a Titan exploding. 

“Enemy Legion down.” 

Kane’s Titan spoke. Spider had to back up from a placement of Anti-Rodeo smoke when the Ion charged out with a vengeance. The monarch shot a few rockets and even an energy siphon before charging against the Ion. Then the radio filled with a hatch opening and a loud Metallic BAM. 

“Systems restored. Enemy pilot down.”

JD spoke. They had executed a Titan, and stole its battery. That was smart and ballsy Viper thought.

“Both teams got the data! Time to go!”

Blisk yelled into the comms, the roar of his Predator Cannon in the background. Viper dashed to the location of his team to defend as the others followed suit. Ash, Spider, and Kane made it back to his location while Blisk, Sloane, and Ritcher made it to their spot. Viper took to the skies, circling the group as Kane to the front and the other two took to a side. They would have a long walk to evacuation as they kept the enemy off their back and made sure that the ground troops stayed together. 

It was a long walk getting to extraction. They had to stop twice to make sure that they weren't followed and to give the ground troops rest since they didn't have a Titan. It was dark when they did their second stop deciding to rest a little before getting the last few miles in and getting off the planet. 

"Spider, Viper, you're on first watch. Sloane, Ash, you’re next, one hour." 

Blisk told them before finding a spot for his Titan to hunker down and both of them rest. Spider and Viper walked a bit away from the group before they found a spot. Spider hopped out of the Titan onto its hand as it lifted her up to the top of its chassis. She had a DMR in one hand with a ration bar in the other. Viper decided it would be a good time to eat as well. 

They sat in silence save for the whir of both Titans. Occasionally Spider would grab her DMR and look into the forest, he didn't see why, the titans would pick up on anyone approaching faster than they would, unless it was cloaked units but he didn't say anything. The hour passed uneventfully and Ash and Solane soon came to take their spot. Spider got back into her Titan as Viper moved Hawk to a spot and the other pair went to their own. 

"Viper? Can I ask you a favor?"

He turned from the blueprints for Hawk. Spider had grown more easy to get use to, she talked more. Sparred with the rest a few times. She seemed unsure right now. 

He spoke "Depends."

"My arm, I need another hand or set of hands to fix the connections and make sure the rotators aren't getting any build up or are worn down."

He was surprised to find her asking for help, he seen the way she reacted to others touching it when not fighting. 

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't think you were capable, and I trust you a helluva lot more than the rest of the lot."

"Really, not very smart."

She gave a snort. "I seen the work you put on your Titan, as soon as you get this you're gonna do the same, besides, why purposely mess it up when I'm the one that keeps everyone's backs cleared."

It was quiet for a moment. 

"Fine. Blueprints?"

She tossed a small flash drive to his hands as she turned her focus to getting her arm off. He saw out of the corner of his eye, she pressed a button before twisting and pulling off the arm and placed it on the desk before turning

"I'm going to get cleaned up, you know how to find me."

They were sparing. He would never admit it out loud but she was one of the hardest predators to fight against. Sloane had a pattern, Ash wasn't fluid, Kane was easy to get dizzy, Ritcher you just let him do all the hard work of runnin around, Blisk favored his right side, but Spider? She dodged another lock, ducking quickly and she slid up right beside him, their gear rubbing against each other before she backed up from another swing.

She was fast, graceful, and really fucking hard to hit. He had one more trick. He turned around and charged her, she sidestepped, just like he thought she would and quickly grabbed her arm, pulling her with and using his momentum to flip them as they landed on the ground. He placed his fist above her neck as the other held her arm.

“I won.”

She gave a quiet laugh before tapping her non trapped hand on his side, where the armor was weaker. 

“More like a stalemate. Besides. . .”

He gave a small head tilt before suddenly her legs pushed against him, flipping him above her head. He let go of her arm, trying to stop himself from flipping. She quickly rounded and got above him, trapping both hands in her metal one as she placed her weight on his thighs, keeping from him lifting his legs to do the same. 

“I won now.”

Ok so he may or may not be pinning for the skilled sniper sleeping in the same room as him, who can beat him in hand to hand combat, does not intrude into his space, while also being a helpful hand when it comes to modding Hawk, and she looks good. Viper gave a quiet groan at his thoughts as he let the water wash his sins off the wall before he turned off the water. Drying most of his hair before wrapping the towel around his shoulders and pulling on a pair of boxers. He stepped into the room he shared the person of his thoughts with. Spider was distracted, she had taken her DMR apart and cleaned it again. The jump to their next contracts always left her on edge. “How many times have you taken that apart now?” He asked as he pulled on his pilot gear. “In total or while you were in the shower?” She was being funny, noticing he was in there longer than usual. He shook his head but grinned. 

“Ha ha very funny.” 

“Huh really, am I getting better at jokes? But in reality probably not a good idea to use a lot of hot water, you know how the boss and Kane get when they cant basically melt their skin off. There are other ways to relax.” His brain short circuit, did she really mean?-No that's just his thoughts, Spider didn't seem like the type to get attached to coworkers, or offer to be a fuck buddy. He didn’t turn around to face her, rather not look at her and see if she was being serious, the mission wouldn't go right then. “Yeah I know it's called sleep.”

“Thats- “Five mins till we get to the drop, get your asses to your Titans!” Blisked yelled into the comms. Spider didn’t get a chance to finish what she was gonna say as Viper grabbed his weapons and the rest of his gear and rushed out the door, she followed suit. 

He didn’t understand why he was sent on a solo mission, but he was told to for some reason, he guessed it was the fact no one knew his face, so he had to. He was ready to get back to being on the ship and rather deal with his personal issue then do another solo mission, he missed the small comfort of being assisted should things go south. 

He walked into the room quietly, it being late on the ship, and set down his duffel bag. The room looked mostly the same, another Sniper had been added to Spider’s desk, while a few Titan parts were placed on his, most likely due to Spider, she often found bits he was needing to get. Her bed was surprisingly empty seeing how she wasn’t in the hanger and he saw no one in the training room when he passed by. 

He looked to his bed, ready to sleep in his gear and deal with the pain later when he saw something in it. Spider was under the covers, wearing one of his shirts surprisingly and hugging his pillow. He turned not sure how to deal with her and decided to change. He heard the bed creak slightly as he changed and glanced back seeing Spider sit up. 

“Sorry I didn’t know you were back and I- the room felt different- I had problems sleeping and . . .”

She rambled before stopping, looking down and fiddled with the blanket before placing her hands beside her to get up. 

“I’ll get out of your way.”

“Spider.”

She paused and slowly looked up. He was close now, having changed. 

“If you want . . . you can stay.”

He didn’t want to admit but sleeping sucked when he was alone on the mission, the room felt barren without her. He missed her presence in general. 

“Oh-ok” 

She went towards the wall of the bed, grabbing her pillow and placing his back in the process as he got in. She hugged the wall as he faced the outside and he could feel her tension and it got on his nerves. He flipped over after sometime and placed a hand on her waist and held her.

“Relax.”

She took a deep breath calming herself before the two slowly drifted to sleep. They woke up with her head tucked under his chin and her own arms wrapped around his waist. They didn't speak about sleeping together, but they didn't stop either. He didn't know what to call whatever they had, sleeping together but not actually sleeping together. 

She was on a solo mission now. They needed someone who could go in and get close to the target without drawing attention. She volunteered actually. Pointing out that she still wasn't known as a Predator, and was an assassin before joining them. She got back two weeks later and immediately went to the med bay. The mission was successful but she had taken a few bullets, thankfully not in severe locations, removing glass shards, and trying to fix her arm. 

She was in a foul mood and no one bothered her, well except him of course. He had snatched her gear, arm and helmet mainly, the visor was cracked, as he set out to fix the two as she recovered. Once released from the med bay she was to rest and given a few more weeks for the nanites to do their job. 

He bothered her by watching movies, Top Gun and Edge of Tomorrow at least twice. Once healed she immediately went back to training, prepping her body after not having done so while healing. He joined her, bored out of his mind. 

"-nd I snapped his arm in half." 

She was talking about the mission as they spared. He stayed quiet letting her sort of vent before he blocked a swing from her. 

"Taught the ass to don't even think about touching someone without asking."

She spoke of someone following her, harassing her, while on the mission. She had gotten somewhere quiet and out of view before she attacked him after he touched her. While he was pissed that someone touched her, the fact that she broke his arm made him satisfied. He gave a groan hearing what sounded like metal on metal. 

His head was pounding yet he didn't even drink that much the night before. Spider was trying to be quiet, whipping up some food their bodies could handle while being slightly hungover. Eventually the noises stopped and he could tell lights were turned off. Cracking one eye open just a bit to see Spider in the kitchen eating whatever she made quietly, lost in her thoughts.

She was wearing one of his shirts again, he could see her shorts under the edge of his shirt but just barely. He looked away in his own thoughts before his eyes flicked back to her when she started moving. Bringing a bottle of water, medicine, and some food. 

"Are you always looking out for everyone?"

She hummed a bit as he sat up before speaking. 

"Guess it's just in my nature."

He gave a soft grunt as he was pushed onto the bed. Spider was quick to straddle him. She leaned down quickly, capturing his lips with hers and kissed hard. He kissed back just as hard as his hands grabbed her waist and head. He’s not sure how the make out session started. They were sparring again when it just got a little heated. OK more than a little, Spider had gained the upper hand and straddled his waist when he let out a tiny choked moan. She halted slightly, surprised by the noise before she moved but it felt like she purposely dragged her weight onto him more. Then they were hurrying back to their room, their gear quickly stripped away.

He was brought back to the present when Spider slowly kissed down his chest, her thumb flicking over a hardening nipple before kissing above his navel. She then tugged on his briefs, getting him to lift his hips as she pulled them off. Her hands felt along his thighs as she breathed over his cock. Slowly she gave the head a tiny kiss before giving a long lick on the underside. His breath was shaky but when she enveloped him with her mouth he let out a moan, his hands covering his face as she slowly bobbed up and down. Stopping at times to flatten her tongue on his head. 

"Fuck." He groaned out. 

Spider hummed, watching his reaction through her eyelashes. She continued before he started to pant harder, his hips slowly thrusting.

"Fuck-Spider-Ah!"

She quickly pulled off, her hand squeezing the base almost painfully keeping him for cumming. Slowly did he come from that high and she started to pump again. She crawled into his lap as she kept the slow pace, her other hand going to her cilt and rubbed lightly before slowly sliding a finger in. She matched her pumps, her finger sliding in as her hand went down. She continued even as she added a second and third. Once she felt stretched did she stop. 

Viper's hands went to her waist as she held him and slowly slid down a tiny moan coming out as she bottomed out. Then she rose and slid back down, her pace slow. His hands gripping her waist tight. She leaned down quickly kissing him as a hand went into his hair as the other braced near his head, his own hands moving, one to her hair, the other to the small of her back. 

The kisses were slow and sloppy, quiet pants came out between the kisses before Spider slowly increased her pace. They broke the kiss, letting their foreheads rest together. Quiet words spoken as the pleasure rose. 

"Nnnn-Viper-ah-Viper!"

"Fu-ck-Spider!"

They came with a shout. Spider giving a few thrust before slamming down hard and stilling. Small shakes went through their bodies as they breathed. Spider made a quiet whine as she pulled off him, feeling slick dribble out onto them both. She ran her hand through his hair slowly before giving a quiet grunt. 

"We need a shower."

"Is that an offer for round 2?"

He said with a grin causing a quiet laugh to escape her.  

"Only if you promise to help clean up the mess."

"Deal."

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[rhimorechill]

1-30 can i just have your opinion on all of them please

KDHSKHFKFB whoever u are anon ur actually my only follower ever

1. are you of the “tom nook is a crook” or “tom nook is an honest businessman” opinion ?

HES AN HONEST BUSINESSMAN !!! ur loans have NO interest and he was handing out 100k interest/month for a good while there !!!!! the only reason it dropped to 10k is b/c i accidentally made a mil while tryna get dreamies ok. the whole "nook inc owns the entire island" thing is KINDA WEIRD but like ! i mean. its still a pretty sweet deal

2. do you play as yourself or a made up character ?

i play as me !! and then everyone tells me my character is cute which ROCKS

3. where is your house located ?

well CURRENTLY. its just at the center of the island. but once i get terraforming (which will be as soon as i get lolly, mitzi, and purrl) it will be on its own little island in the middle of the island

4. who were your first villagers ?

hamlet and renee ! and bea and agent s and broccolo. oh and quillson. theyre all gone now but i moved bea into a friends island so i can visit her later !!

5. preferable method of earning bells ?

turnip runs babey !!! srsly i will pay like 500k tips and make a million in PROFIT (per run !!) its fucking awesome. i never use turnip exchange tho that shit website always stops telling me where i am in the queue

6. what villager personalities do you typically get along best with ?

i love all of them. so much. normal and lazy villagers might take the cake, but ankha was on my island for 2 days and nearly stole my heart, so snooty villagers r up there too. smug villagers ? like i mostly have experience w raymond b/c i fucking HATED quillson and keaton n ed i barely paid attention to (ed gets points tho. he shares my bday) but that goddamn nerd has a war with slugs. we love to see it. peppy villagers rock (i have THREE on my island rn... but ugh i gotta kick out merry sometime..... i love her but i just !! have too many). i CANNOT hate jock villagers those guys just wanna work out !!! and talk abt working out !!!! theyve done nothing wrong in their whole lives. uchi villagers are great too and cranky villagers r trying their best !!! every villager is good is what im saying. even quillson (i guess)

7. who is your current best friend in the game ?

MGHGSHGD felicity or raymond !!! they send me mail all the time and also i really like raymond. b/c hes such a fucking NERD of an accountant. and felicity was the first of my dreamies to move in so im 💚 when it comes to her...... SOMEDAY. lolly will also be my bff. lolly come home

8. is there a villager you want to get rid of ?

MERRY WHITNEY VELMA. PLEASE GO AWAY. U R ALL SWEETIES BUT NONE OF U MADE THE CUT. ONLY ONE OF U IS EVEN A CAT. (if you want whitney or velma pls dm me !!! someone asked for merry already but id love for them to be on islands where ppl love em)

9. do you hoard a lot of items ?

YES. i did a purge the other day and laid a fuckton of items out to give away. it did not fit and i had to shove some on the cliffs. i still have a big pile waiting to be taken. meanwhile my storage gets new items added

10. take medicine or save & restart ?

medicine is for chumps.

11. where is your favorite spot in your village ?

HMMMM i rlly like my entrance !!!! its rlly neat and has green AND pink mums + trees..... and fencing and a path. IDK i worked hard on it and think it turned out rlly well !!!! other than that maybe my shopping area ? i dont have terraforming yet so theres a lot i Havent Gotten To wrt my island (like my cliffs are almost entirely undeveloped b/c i havent placed any inclines. so theres no pathing)

12. what achievement do you want to hit the most ? (ex: golden equipment, all fish / bugs, etc)

its not REALLY an achievement but i want all my dreamies real bad. after that i want a 5 star island !! i would like a lily of the valley. or 20.

13. do you know any secret tips ?

HMMM i dont think so ?? i dont really know any secrets. ive been trying out campsite cycling and it has Not been going well tho. if u need tips on tting to move villagers out or smthn i can help w that !! this is such a vague q that im like DO i know smthn ??? that is a secret ?????? i also vaguely know abt *m**b* sp**f*ng but im not allowed to do that soooo. thats a pipe dream. fun fact: its not a secret but gardening is SO fucking complicated theres genetics n shit. its wild. thank god someone straight up gave me blue roses so i dont have to go thru that shit. also do not tt backwards when dealing with turnips. not even 30 mins to save ur 600+ prices frm closing time. They Will Change

14. who are your dreamies ?

THESE CATS (i know major shocker from tumblr user pumakittycat. app is acnh life)

15. favorite furniture item ?

HMMMM THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. maybe mum cushions ? those r cute as fuck. i love every flower item, honestly, frm garden wagons to flower stands to pansy tables to hycanith lamps to. idk the bonsai shelf ? i have one of those. i also love my sea globe. its great. WAIT DO RUGS AND WALLS/FLOORS COUNT THERES NO QUESTIONS ABT THOSE i love so many FUCKING items. also autumn woods wall, if ur out there,

16. favorite clothing item / outfit ?

my green clover dress !!!! its the best thing EVER. my full outfit also consists of a silver tiara, a cherry blossom pouchette, white fishnets, and green rubbertoed sneakers. and, ofc, clover facepaint. ALSO FOR CONTEXT. my island is named clover bay thats why im like Clover Time. Theyre Important To The Aesthetic. im also an aro bitch who loves overall dresses. b/c they slap

17. favorite museum room ?

I LOVE THE LITTLE BUTTERFLY ROOM do not even TALK to me unless ur the butterfly room in the museum THERES SO MANY AT ALL TIMES ITS SO NICE

18. cedar, fruit, or palm tree ?

FRUIT. i literally chopped down every single hardwood tree on my island and replaced them w orange trees

19. favorite fruit ?

.......Oranges

20. favorite fish ?

HM. bitterling has a special place in my heart for being my Only fish model. whale sharks also rock tho. and thats only of the ones ive caught !!! i also love frogs, turtles, and obligatorily catfish. oh and seahorses and bettas

21. favorite bug ?

HM. ladybugs maybe. and both birdwings ! maybe also emperors butterflies. possibly others as well

22. favorite flower breed ?

MUMS !!!!!

23. favorite crossbred rare flower breed + color ?

GREEN MUMS.

24. favorite villager personality ?

havent we been over this ? im a dumb bitch who likes all of them way too much

25. favorite time of day to play ?

i uh. play. all the time. i tt a Lot tho so i like setting my time to 1pm ? idk it Feels like a good time

26. favorite special visitor event or reward ? (ex: selecting an art piece from redd, aiding guliver and getting a special item, etc)

SAHARAH. im obsessed w the fucking rugs and the tickets and the lottery. i also love celeste, and gulliver has a spot on the faves list for providing lucky cats sometimes (also a fave item) and for having been to space

27. favorite kk song ?

call me basic, but bubblegum kk plays at all times in my living room

28. favorite animal crossing game ?

ACNH lmao. i never really sat down and got Dedicated to city folk, which is the only other game ive played

29. if you’ve played animal crossing before, are there any animals you’re nostalgic for ? if this is your first game, has any animal in particular left some effect on you ?

ROVERRRRR come home :( also harriet.... i Miss Her. and resetti (i REFUSE to use rescue services dont @ me). and also the bus driver guy who took u to the city. If You Were An NPC In City Folk I Miss You Now

30. share a story from your gameplay

SO. i love the little alien easter egg. i set up a photoshoot and made like a little storyline abt the aliens and stuff. i even got a flying saucer and put that down and used it. and every fucking time !!!! i do shit with aliens !!!!!!! gulliver shows up on my beach. i know he went to space in cf n stuff (I GOT FLAVOR TEXT ONE TIME-- DURING NH-- ABT HIM NOT WANTING TO GO BACK EVEN) so i think its fucking hilarious that the aliens show up.... so does he

[thebritishblabbermouth]

Suga Fanfiction (part 2)

Heyyyaa...heres part 2. Its got swearing in it and smut. But fluff too..theres going to be a part 3 as well. Let me know what you think! Also I am very very very very shy about the smut so please let me know what you think...it’ll mean everything to me :) 

this is for you @atricksterwithwings let me know what you think :)) 

Heres Part 1 if you havent read it yet :) 

It was 5 pm by the time I came home, even though I had barely gotten any work done. The look on your face; hurt and dejected as you ran away from my arms seemed to be plastered onto the back of my mind and no amount of distraction could peel it away. I had wanted to rush out immediately, tell you I didn’t mean any of my cruel words but it would’ve been counterproductive. We needed to end this. And the only way you would leave would be if I had hurt you enough to push you away.

What a damned dick move.

I was sure you would’ve left by now, my apartment must've returned to its barren state- just as you had found it not 2 years ago and it was all the more reason for me to stay cooped up inside the walls of my studio, praying I didn’t have to face you as you walked out of the door.

But it wasn’t pitch black and cold as I walked in. Rather it was warm, and smelt fucking delicious. There were candles everywhere and you were wrapped up in a giant white hoodie- its ends skimming the middle of your bare thighs and your hair whisked away into a loose knot at the top of your pretty head.  

If there were a definition of perfection- it would be this.

‘’Yoongz! I have food and a movie too! I know our date day didn’t go as planned but that’s okay, this is way cuter don’t you think?’’ You tried to balance the bowls of steaming goodness between your dialogues, cute pink tongue darting out- as if it were the only way to balance everything completely. The action went straight to my head and I almost chuckled, almost breaking down the entire aura id build around myself. This had to stop. How were you so unfazed? How did the insults not make a difference? You should’ve walked out- called me an asshole and left me to my own wits. But here you were, clad in my sweatshirts, beaming like the fucking sun.

‘’You really have no self-respect do you? Clinging onto me like a needy bitch. God. Do I have to spell it out for you? Leave me alone!’’

I saw the colour drain from your cheeks, the usual pink hue falling as it you paled, eyes drooping with exhaustion as my words finally hit you.

This was it.

This was the end and I just needed to hold on for a little longer before breaking down, needed you to fully walk away before I hit the imaginary self-destruct button on my life.

‘’Do you know how much of a selfish asshole you are Yoongi?’’

You never swore. Ever. It was awkward hearing the insults from your mouth and it felt worse knowing they were all directed at me.

‘’Two years ago, you told me you loved and that you had to have me or you’d die, and I let you lead me, let you take me into everything that was you and I couldn’t be happier. You made me feel loved and warm and like I actually belonged in this world. Like I mattered. You made me feel like I was worth being protected and taken care of! Even when you weren’t here, when you were off on your endless tours or your head was too busy taking care of job and the boys- it was fine! Because I knew you loved me! Because I knew that no matter what, at the end of the day- I was yours and you were mine and it would all be okay!’’

Tears streamed down your now rosy cheeks, lashes thick and wet- your voice breaking and cracking as you spoke but strong nonetheless. This is how you were.

Strong even when you were weak.

You walked towards me, almost as if you were going to burn me down. And I silently prayed that you would. End me Entirely, before everything else did.

‘’And now Yoongi. You’re a fucking coward. Selfish and just petrified. When you loved me, you had to have me. And now, when things are hard- when work is hard and when you’re fucking afraid to admit that you’re scared shitless- afraid to let me take care of you, you push me away. Because that’s what you do. You push people away when they want to love you.’’

You had me cornered into the wall, your nose tilting upwards- eyes trained on mine as you spoke. It was quieter now. As if you had to make a point and make me understand.

‘’And right now, if you think I am going to walk away from you, leave you to ruin yourself and everything that you’ve worked hard on, let you walk over us like this. You’re damned stupid and delusional because I am not going anywhere!’’

‘’You’re crazy! I am not afraid of shit! I need to get work done! I need to be the best and I need to give those 6 boys what they deserve! You won’t ever understand that because somehow you’ve always been the best! At everything! At working, at this relationship, at loving despite all of my flaws and it’s insane! It’s driving me mad that you’re this amazing! I can’t keep up with it! I can’t keep up with you, I can’t give you what you deserve and what you need! So just g-’’ I screamed as loud as I could, tried to pry your hands away from myself but there was no stopping you.

No stopping the way you crashed your lips onto mine and cradled my head in your hands, no stopping the tears I could feel on my mouth, along with your taste, fucking honey and cherries and everything I needed to give up. I didn’t realise when you had me falling onto the couch, sitting on me and raking your fingers through my hair as we kissed. Calmer now, desperate but needing- wanting, sweet yet fierce.

‘’We’re going to crash and burn. The fans, they’re going to hate us because of this new album and you know me, I’ll live through it, but the boys. God, Jungkook and Jimin and Tae, they won’t be able to take it, it’ll be nightmare.’’

You inched yourself closer to me, wrapping yourself around me as you placed your lips on my cheeks, covering the tears I didn’t even know I had shed. My hands rested on your hips, shoulders slumped with stress and exhaustion. I couldn’t fight it anymore. Couldn’t even fight it if I tried.

‘’Did you know? Burnt soil is one of the most fertile kind out there?’’

I ignored the little fun fact and took to rubbing at your soothing skin, it was only minutes before I stripped you from the confines of the sweatshirt. I needed to feel you, burn with you. It was the only way Id be able to calm my heart.

‘’If this album doesn’t work, if you fall, pummel to the ground and lose all of your fans. Does it mean its over? Does it mean that everything has died?’’ Your eyes widened as I held onto you tighter but you continued talking, your words- providing a kind of comfort I didn’t know existed.

‘’It means you get to start over. Do something new. Change things up and rise like a phoenix. It’ll be hard and it’ll hurt but if theres one man I know who can pick himself up from ground zero- its you Yoongi.’’ You booped my nose as you spoke and I pulled the sweatshirt from your skin, releasing a wave of unshed tears as I laid my forehead onto your bare chest.

‘’You’re so strong Yoongi, and so loved. How could you possibly think you’d fail? You’re Min Genius, smart and intelligent and strong and passionate. You’re their vision Yoongi, the boys- they look up to you, and they don’t see an image you’ve made. No. They see you raw and whole. Just like me. They see someone who tries their best, someone who dares to dream with their eyes open and they see someone who loves unconditionally. They’re stronger than you think, and so are you.’’ You stroked my hair as you spoke and my breath hitched at your words.

‘’And the matter of someone destroying you? Baby…you’re fucking bulletproof.’’

I chuckled at the reference and you smiled, the curves of your lips reaching your eyes and making them twinge with excitement. God you were beautiful, and I’d thought of pushing you away. I didn’t have the words in me, to apologise, to ask for forgiveness. Because I was a selfish asshole and I knew how to take. How to bring you into my world.

And you were an angel, because you knew how to rescue me from it.

‘’I love you.’’

There weren’t any other words I could’ve said, nothing had the power like the three id just stated. And you smiled again, this time because of me, and I swear I felt like heaven because you were in my arms.

‘’Then show me.’’ You whispered, as if it were the only thing I'd ever need to do in life. And damn, you nipped at the silver loop that hung from my lobes. Beautiful and strong and such a fucking tease.

I pushed you onto the couch and kissed you deep, my tongue finally tasting your sweetness as you moaned deliciously into my mouth. Hot and eager. Just for me and just how I liked it.

‘’You’re so fucking perfect baby.’’ I said, because it was the truth. Because I felt the words with every inch of my soul.

It was a requirement, a compulsion- a damned drug to me. Your breasts and how they felt against my palms, soft and warm beneath my skin and you gasped, arching upwards as I took one in my mouth, aching with need as you groaned beneath me, begging me to touch you where we both wanted most.

You were soaked through, waiting and wet, just for me. But I had to take my time, had to show you I still loved you even though I was a jerk, I was stupid and afraid- just like you’d said. I swirled my tongue around your navel and your hands found my hair, dry and rough from the constant dying and glamour but god the way it felt when you tugged on it, my hard on aching with every innocent pull.

‘’I am going to make you come baby, you want that? You want to feel me?’’

‘’Please. I want you. Only you. Now.’’

Your words were halved and stuttered, eyes rolling to the back of your head as I traced your nub with my fingers, it throbbed beneath my touch and I growled at the attention, teased and pulled it as I suckled your skin.

‘’Yoongi no…just please…’’

It was beautiful, watching you writhe and shake, and I eased my finger into your dripping heat as you whimpered into my mouth, almost tearing as I worked myself into you.

‘’I don’t deserve you love. Not one bit of you. But you said I was selfish, and I am. Please let me be, let me be selfish for you?’’ I whispered into your ears and you came all over my fingers, sweet and beautiful. Pure, and all for me.

I pulled you into my arms and laid behind you, my raging hard on pressing into your skin as my hands travelled the side of your frame, choosing to rest of their own over your heat. It was possessive and animalistic and you purred against me, requesting ever to sweetly to let you take care of me. But I needed to be with you tonight, to feel your skin and love you. Let you know that perhaps I wasn't always that selfish, that I could give before I took.

"I love you Yoongi. And even if it takes time... Even if you leave. I am not perfect, far from it. I always do stupid things, but you're a fighter Yoongi. You're strong and brave and so much more... Don't give up just yet baby? It'll be hard but-" I sealed your pretty mouth with mine, eating up all of your goodness as I saw your eyes tear, with pride and strength. All for me.

"I am not giving up beautiful. I can't. Because my angel won't allow it. Because I won't allow seeing her cry over the thought of it."

It was awkward for me, to say things out loud, to reassure and comfort. But for you, for you I'd try. For the blush that grazed you neck and warmed you skin just a little more than the subsiding heat, I'd move mountains and oceans, bring stars and planets to your feet.

And so I kissed you and held you, as you did me, my arm tucked under your head as you snored against it. My hand nestled between your legs as they wrapped around mine, encasing me and shielding me from my own turmoil.

It was easy. It was beautiful and we were whole, complete and loved.

[ujuro]

ive decided to actually write out which kpop songs this year have been my favorites because i havent really thought about it yet lol. so far this year ive been into individual songs more than whole minis which is a bit different than last year when exid and oec basically controlled my entire summer but here wer go in no particular order ten faves

apink- I’m so sick: god this song is catchy. they took their sound that, while pleasant, was kind of on its last legs and altered it into a certified bop, five wishes it was this good honestly. 

bts- outro tear: MIN YOONGI

olivia hye/loona- egoist: this song changed my life. i go on a journey every time i hear it. each play introduces me to an emotion i have never felt before. this song transcends the word bop or banger or jam or whatever. those words are pathetically inadequate. this song is god. 

idle- latata: shout out to everyone that never types out their name. anyway what looked to be a low-key debut gave us this wonderful lil tune and introduced us to song yuqi. thank god for that.

shinee- our page: im not even gonna try and write about what this one makes me feel

momoland- baam: this song is just bboom bboom with even more dance party thrown in. i happen to love songs like this where the aim is simple- to get you to fuckin move. also i miss t-ara 

yubin- lady: AESTHETIC 

dreamcatcher- you and i: idk if id call this song as dark as good night but it is certainly dreamcatcher at their most dramatic and its fuckin amazing i love the sound the styling dami’s magic trick everything. with the nightmare trilogy ending i hope they go somewhere just as cool next

aoa- ladi dadi: AND EVERYONE SAID THEY WERE DONE FOR HAHAHA FUCK U ALL. anyway i love this song for basically the same reasons i love baam 

oohyo- papercut; AESTHETIC part deux

anyway i did this unprompted and no one cares LOL BYE 

[sebyuns]

why hiatus ?

hey guys ! so in my hiatus “announcement” post I said I’d make a post about what’s going on in my life and why I’m on the hiatus. so if u wanna know nd care about me or if you’re just nosey please read after the cut !!

okay so I don’t even know where to start lmao ?

I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder about a year ago and it has been building up for years. last year it started to affect my school I’ve always been a pretty good student but due to my disorders I started gettung worse and it got really really hard for me to go to school. I couldn’t bring my self to go to school I would throw up in the morning and just been really bad so I started missing school and end up only going 2-3 days a week. everytime I would go to school I have panic attacks and I left earlier and I just couldn’t keep on doing that anymore so my therapist signed me off school a month before the summer holidays started. but staying home all that time + the summer didn’t help one bit (wow what a surprise) but I keept on telling myself that it’s gonna be fine next school year and that I’ll be able to go to school again buy SIKE I thought lmao !! it’s gotten even worse so I got signed off school again just after 5 days. and that’s where we are right now 1& ½ month later. i literallt havent been to school for MONTH like ive barely been the second half last year then combine the month before summer holidays, summer and the time til now. its the worst i hate it so much because id love to go to school I wanna go to school i just fucking can’t. by this time I know that I won’t be able to go back to school bc this is graduation class and I can’t be missing this much so I’ve got to redo next year or do something else idk

My depression is at its worst point yet. I have multiple breakdowns a day, I’m either feeling too much or nothing at all, literally everysingle thing makes me cry (one of the reasons I can’t be here lmao) suicidal thoughts, sleeping 12 hours day, forgetting to eat at all or only eat sweets, not leaving the house for days if it’s not for the therapist, just lacking human interaction at all. and all of that other jazz .I’m just really not .. great lmao.

as if my disorders weren’t enough I’m also dealing with an alcoholic dad and a (also) depressed and easily aggressive mom. I haven’t seen my dad for over 1 year now even though he lives only 10 mins away and just thinking about him brings me to tears just hope he doesn’t die from his fucking alcohol lmao i live with my mom who’s also mentally not really well that loves to get angry @ me for no reason and then scream at me for hours till I’m literally ready to kill myself one time i passed put out of the result of us arguing the fucking dishes or what. us being together all the time is just super toxic and she’s one of the big reasons that make me worse. I don’t have many friends (that live near me that im really close to all my really good friends live cities away and I don’t have any money to visit them) im alwyas alone lmao when was the last time i meet uo with someone? so I’m literally always stuck at home with my mom in my 9m^2 room.

the only other schedule and human interaction except for the therapist is my dancing group. well guess tf what we’re gonna disband ! amazing right, I know? 2 of our memebers are moving far away and with put them 1. were too little people 2. the room we rented is way to expensive. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without my group and dancing because it was literally one of the only things that are keeping me alive.

I’m in the queue for a mental health clinic at the moment. I’m probably gonna be admitted in about hopefully 3 weeks. I’ll be there for 6-10 weeks so I won’t be able to be on tumblr at all during that time.

ay and that’s not even all of it 🤙! I’m just really tired right now and I don’t think I have the energy to continue writing but I hope you guys have a better understanding of what’s going on with me right now? I doubt that anyone is really gonna read all of this but if u did thank you sm and ily 💕 if u wanna help me keep updated with exo somehow please tag me in stuff or send me asks I’ll check them atleast once a day!

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode #8 “CAN YOU SAY MESS” -Cindi

https://youtu.be/kJt8-zZe8Ck

-this is fucked up i have to confess tribal is in 4 mins.. theres a bunch of stuff about this vote why do people know zch is in a 5 person alliance .. . .. . .. . . . . . why is cindi voting out zach why do i have individual immunity lmao i want zach on the jury ://////////

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNbHN000ka8

-alright ladies we made it to the merge. finally back together with Gavin loml. also it seems that Jess, Zach and Keegan missed me as well based on how the whole touchy subjects thing went for me so thats cute. ALSO TIMMY Z IS HERE AND WE ONLY HAVE TO CALL HIM TIMMY BECAUSE THE OTHER ONE IS GONE!!! side bar: timmy and i are bestie pals and im so excited to finally be on a tribe together umm thats pretty much all i've got for now. also there are only 5 OG Annie's left in this game and 3 of them are working with me for the moment so I think I am in a pretty decent spot. apparently the OG Annies called me and Jess threats so they can go honestly. but half of them are already gone now i think so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-this tribal is about to be really messy and im really tired of cindi's bullshit about refusing to change her vote

-MERGE BABY!!!! WOOOOOO~!!!  So, This tribe seems cool!I;m mainly excited i made merge. My allies are currently Keegan, Jess and I think Gavin. I want to ally with the people I haven't played with yet. sorry this is short

-So I feel like I was totally on the bottom after the Jay vote. I feel like I can’t turn to my old allies (although I have) and like. In touchy subjects when I was voted most likely to be voted out next I had like one person come to me and be like “oh that’s so not true. I don’t see you as next” but like. I wasn’t even surprised that I got it. I am kinda relying on allying with new people but you can’t force people to ally without you. Everytime I have tried to ally with people I have already played with it fails. So now that narrows it down to Collin, Cindi, and maybe Rachael. But I need To get close to them first. Collin also knows how I played in Tashirojima. He has brought it up to me 2 separate times now, so I’m scared he might think I’m going to play like that again and try and target me or something. Idk. I’m just a big ball of scared.

-So 5 people of got immunity. I got like 9th. I'm real upset about it. I know it doesn't really mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Anyway. I;m like 90% sure I;m going home but I'll try my best to ya know. not. I really hope I can work with collin although I don't really have an alliance. so lets see how this goes.

https://youtu.be/wLA8Pt4bXlQ

https://youtu.be/r-8Y2n2NGJo

-Welcome to Merge O' Clock! We finally made the merge, although unless I'm dumb (which is entirely possible) we haven't yet made the jury. The post says a final 3 with 9 jury members, and there is 13 of us left. Interesting. But anyways, I made the merge and I'm super happy about that. It's very exciting to win the previous season and actually be in the running to win this season. Like I feel like I've played a pretty good game so far and I have enough alliances and strong bonds to make it far. Unless I get targeted for that reason. In terms of trust rankings, lemme do that real quick: Most Trusted JESS ZACH GAVIN RACHAEL TIMMY BIRCH CINDI CHIPS BODHI ALI = RUTHIE = COLLIN I've currently got my Canadian Alliance with JESS and BIRCH, as well as an alliance with GAVIN, ZACH and RACHAEL. There's also the alliance with TIMMY, GAVIN, JESS and ZACH thought I don't know if that one will stick around much. I'm trying hard to build a relationship with CINDI, who is amazing. If I can get all these things aligned, we can vote out RUTHIE, ALI, CINDI, CHIPS, COLLIN and BODHI before there's really anything to worry about. But the game is never that easy. My biggest goal right now is to make sure I win immunity for this first vote. The first merge vote can be super telling where everyone is standing and I need to make sure that the target doesn't somehow fall on me. I have to stay safe for at least this vote. 

-Guess who’s immune at the merge tribal council! THIS GUY! And also COLLIN, JESS, GAVIN and BODHI. Surprise twist where five people win immunity, which is crazy. I’m mostly just vibing right now and seeing where people’s heads are at. Been having some nice conversation with ALI, COLLIN and CINDI. Will I work with them ever? I’m not sure. I’m very happy that JESS and GAVIN are safe. I trust them a lot and hope we can work together moving forward. I just need to make sure I keep my head low enough to avoid a target but high enough that people know this is my game to win. 

-So if everything I have been told so far is true, this is going to be a very messy vote. Initially it was BIRCH and CHIPS whose names were on the line but as the day progressed it became between ZACH and BIRCH. And honestly there is merit in voting for either of them. ZACH is a very good player with a metric crap tonne of connections but I've also been loyal to him since the start of the game. BIRCH could be a super loyal ally moving forward but I've also betrayed them at a previous point in the game. Currently, it seems like BIRCH, CHIPS, RUTHIE, GAVIN are for sure voting for ZACH. Currently, it seems like ZACH, RACHAEL, CINDI, COLLIN are for sure voting for BIRCH. But also as I was typing this out, BODHI created an alliance chat with COLLIN, GAVIN, JESS and myself. I'm not even sure if it's an alliance or if BODHI just wanted to make a joke about the Illuminati. Mom? Come pick me up I don't want to be here anymore. 

-okay so its merge time... and i've been doing bad at confessing because i've been going through it but its time to reassess and get back into GEAR. so timmy died last tribal, he was kinda being bananas and targetting rachael in a really flawed way (bodhi would've probably been the move). i like rachael even though i'm about to come after her friendgroup full force, and it just wasn't the time. also... timmy is the only person i've played with multiple times who has outplaced me each time so KJFDSA... was biased to end that. only other risk of that on this tribe is bodhi, but might be sending him packing sooner rather than later. anyway so merge and first things FIRST. I FINALLY. FINALLY. get put on a tribe with JESS. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY FOR MY SPIDERMAN POINTING AT SPIDERMA QUEEN. i'm telling her too much (me telling j-names too much who is shocked), but we are gonna mob boss it as two tribe figureheads and keep it PUSHING. Otherwise I love gavin… I used my connection with sarah g to him for clout because im shameless but I love him and he seems relatively disconnected on the tribe… he looks like kori who would catfish games so im like looks around but he gives good energy hope he likes me. chips is a SWEETHEART and was also on the bottom so looking to scoop him up. Okay so birch. Birch is lovely, birch played in my first tumblr survivor season. Birch has SO much personality… in chats of 2+ people, but in our PMs a better name for them is the SAHARAH. Love your lack of energy, go give us NOTHING. But what can you do. I ALSO might need them in even tho if I get one more ‘Nice!’ from them as a response I will perform walking from the cast. Keegan hasn’t messaged me yet…taps foot. Will not be messaging a MAN first not on my watch. Zach is sweet but he is a CHILD AND I DON’T TRUST CHILDREN IN games. I also just booby trapped him in the idol hunt so… looks around. I also have one key and I need ONE MORE TO get into this mystical last book which im ON A MISSION TO DO. In other news collin leaked the 6 person alliance so looks around… that man has such  white gay who wins games energy and im not having it. Ideal Bootlist: Zach > Keegan > Bodhi > Collin > Cindi > Birch > Timmy > Rachael > Chips > Jess (F3: Me/Ruthie/Chips)

-okay so im deflated again. first off, the conglomerate of friends has got to go its so frustrating, the mesopotamia/svalbard gathering is really really disaster. they make their friend group so obvious and yet there is nothing we can do. the zach/collin/rachael/bodhi/cindi (?) svalbard/mesopotamia, PLUS people who voted with zach like keegan/timmy. its just so ANNOYING, can people WISE UP. i love jess, and im so so excited to work together but she also can be so slippery and wishywashy so its a real.. looks around, we need to wake cindi up. in other news... this tribe is really okay with letting collin win. he is misting EVERYONE and everyone is just sitting there and letting it happen. he has such white gay who just wins this game and everyone is gonna just LET HIM. final man i wanna complain about is keegan. LISTEN SIR, you will not catch me messaging a man first, so if you are upset about us having not spoken... then message me. then speak to me. dont tell people we havent spoken when i've made JUST AS MUCH EFFORT AS YOU. its not my fault you are so unbelievably dry in pms. grrrr i just HATE men and i have to deal with SO MANY on this tribe.

-okay so. we are maybe voting out the child i truly do not know. jess, gavin and cindi never dissed. open to working with me, not relying exclusively on pregame connections, literal legends. chips and birch are literally making it so hard to save them, they both have the biggest mouths i've EVER seen and the subtlety of a reversing truck. they have SUCH big mouths and are making the odds of a zach idol play INCREDIBLY high. also zach can go making majority alliances without me, its shenanigans like this that get you merge boot Sir.

-so im sitting on call with cindi as we plot the end of the zach. this is so sad i feel bad for him even tho this is definitely a good move for me AHHhhh.

-I'm crossing my fingers that I somehow pulled out a win for this creative comp (I doubt it because it looks like a toddler drew my tree house) because I have been very anti social! I've been talking to people in PM's a bit but the chat is just too many people and going too fast for me, LOL.   I just hope our little group of four will stick together.  I haven't talked to them as much since we merged but I guess it is good that we are all mingling and trying to maybe find some cracks? I've talked to Chips, Jess and some of the others from the merged tribe a good bit. 

Tea time!  So Chips wants to get Collin, Cindi, Rachael, Zach or Bodhi out because they are in some kind of alliance for some games they were in? I don't know I didn't know they were all so well connected lol. Alsooo Jess and I have a two person alliance consisting of ourselves that we are referring to as the Jills heh heh.  I guess right now I'm closest to Jess?  I am going to tell her whatever I hear name wise and feel she will do the same to me and I'm hoping that we can like, feed each other information and go to the end while also working with other people if that makes sense.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOgNIykteiM&feature=youtu.be

This round is a split between Zach and birch for who is going home this week. My treehouse got 6th so I sadly missed the immunity mark This week could possibly come down to just 1 vote. That’s why Zach and I traded powers so we can know who voted with who so we can make sure we understand who is voting where for next round. 

so I mad it to the merge! Good stuff! Anyway, the immunity challenge had a twist where multiple people are immune. And i am not. Thats what I get for taking a picture of a tree with 🦕! After results I hear no one saying a name and I don't like that because I don't want whatever random alliance that has already formed dictating... so I decide I'm going to spread Zach. I think he stands a good shot of success because he is well of not only in meta-gaming with relationships but also controlled the premerge. Sooooo I started saying him. Anyway, I am hoping people are actually voting with him them I will feel comfortable to make an alliance. Cindi is part of or immediately under the core group that has taken it upon themselves to say names. I heard from her they originally wanted to do my name because "easy" and not as well liked on the tribe. They were between me and Birch but Cindi said no thanks to me. Anyway, they have been spreading Birch and I have been spreading Zach and now I know it is between the two. If Zach has a power and takes control this round I am still happy I planted the seed and he should not be long for the game. Also, if they do not follow through in voting Birch and vote me instead I will feel better about my self for doing something because I feel loke I've really let down the hosts with how inactive I have been with the move. Hope bringing the drama redeems me just a little.

SO WHAT IS NOT THE TEA. LEAKING ASS LEAKERS IS NOT THE TEA. I'm in a giant alliance with Svalbard/Mesopotamia people and I'm like that is chill or whatever. But Gavin somehow knows about this alliance but doesn't know that I'm in it? So, like, uhhh don't like that. Don't want to fucking be associated with a majority alliance. Plus I don't want Chips being on the bottom. I love Chips. But love the way that Birch decided it was me voting them out? Also that they decided to just, like, give a name of everyone voting with them to Zach, who we're voting out. CAN YOU SAY MESS.

AHHHH! okay so this round has been absolutely CHAOTIC. from the stress of meeting so many new people, and trying to secure my place in this game going forward, to spending HOURS building a treehouse in the sims and being one of the five people to win immunity because of the twist i picked a few rounds ago (thanks for EXPOSING ME BY THE WAY). but going into the round, i honestly had my sights set on zach. he was by far the most connected and well-rounded player in the merge in my opinion, and something needed to be done about it. so, with that i (along with jess) had our work cut out for us. this move needed to happen NOW, or it might just never happen. together, we went around and planted seeds, spread information, and made sure that people realized zach not only had alliances with them, but everyone else in the game as well. i felt like i had made pretty strong connections with ali, cindi, and ruthie, and those were definitely three people we would need to make this move happen. so, we got to work spreading zach's name (with birch somehow exposing everyone but me basically). the hardest part for me was lying to rachael because i love her so much, but she was one of the people that were too close to zach. i knew i needed him to go, so she would be closer to me... but with that comes regaining and rebuilding the trust lost by lying to her as well, so once again, i have my work cut out for me in a totally different way--it will take time, but i think she will realize that she does need me, i just need to prove it to her.

https://youtu.be/KoXLMf5QhxI

https://youtu.be/8g2eyHMOZbI

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Click HERE to watch the Round 8 (merge) Cast Assessment!