#its the goddamn tism

[radiance-p]

Guys I'm so normal about 31 Minutos (I can't stop squealing at anything related to it)

[sspace-cadett]

OKAY OKAY HOLY SHIT IGNORING WHAT CELIA SAID AT THE END OF THE EPISODE ((WHAT THE FUCK ?????!!!?)) THAT LITTLE “STATEMENT” WAS ABSOLUTELY JONMARTINJONAH TRYING TO ASK FOR HELP OUT OF THE COMPUTER AND YOU CAN NAWT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

we already know chester and norris have given VERY specific files to sam and the gang ((additionally, even the characters have noticed. how less subtle can you be.)) BUT AUGUSTUS. MOTHERFUCKING AUGUSTUS. YOURE NOT AS SLICK AS YOU THINK YOU ARE BABE.

SOMEBODY GET MY BOYS OUT OF THE PUTER !!

[draguar144]

Daniel.

[kotaka-kun]

ive tried rolechat and emerald-whatever, the alleged omegle alternatives now and. im still sad. theyre weird and different and my 'tism doesnt like that... maybe its just my anxiety but goddamn im terrified that this is the end of fandom rps as we know it.

like.

the anonymity and the ability to disconnect without fearing repercussions was what made omegle the perfect place for ppl like me who just needed to disconnect sometimes bc the vibes were off or just cause i wasnt feeling an rp.

these other sites -- while im sure are just trying to hold users accountable -- have taken that safety and reassurance away.

and idk how to deal with it to be quite honest.

[hellogirlslikegirlslikeboysdo]

And the lights are not fluorescent, and there are no words on the page. - Form Essay

Author's Preface and Ch. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7

Description: My final portfolio for one of the creative writing courses I took based around exploring the creative nonfiction essay in its many literary forms, with any and all identifying names or signifiers censored out.

To do list!!! Ignore how silly, irresponsible even, you feel about including this part. Adding “To do list”, complete with a grammatically incorrect number of exclamation points with little hearts in place of the dots. Reserving its top billing, the extra big lined space at the top of a little baby sticky note where it’s just gonna take up pretty pink space, space you could be saving for one of the myriad of things you need to get accomplished tonight. Like the douchey lead actor taking their sweet time down the red carpet, the entirety of the camera crew already getting rushed into their seats offscreen.

Suppose, if you can, that it's “whatever”. Rationalize that it probably gives the note a sense of urgency or something (you need that, god, you need that tonight) and that it's already too late to start worrying about losing yourself in all this attention to detail, about what fulfilled word count or pieces of unfolded laundry you’re already sacrificing with this adamant sticking to form.

This is a to-do list, after all. Who even needs these, really?

(Dear lord, this is a very elaborate burst of anger for the first line of a makeshift to-do list. Are you sure you even have the strength to do this? don’t answer that, do NOT answer that, if you try to answer that, it’ll automatically become a “no” by default, do NOT answer that

[✓] Take your meds. Do not convince yourself that you will not need them. You will.

[✓] Regret writing this list in pen.

[  ] Finish reflection. Put this at the top of the list because it's the one you expect to complete first. Not because you have confidence in your ability to do so, but because it’s due tonight and you’ll need to peer pressure yourself enough that the shame and academic anxiety override your executive dysfunction.

[✓] Do creative writing assignment. Make this second on the list because you actually do think you can finish this one on time (you probably can’t) and that it’ll be the easiest to breeze through (it absolutely will not), letting you ride off the high of a job well done and attack the rest of this list feeling like your workload is significantly lower than before. Conveniently forget that late-stage ADHD comes with time blindness and a dopamine deficiency that makes you literally incapable of feeling any sense of accomplishment after finishing a task (Acknowledge that it also comes with a side of autism, on the house. ONLY acknowledge it, though. Do not delve into why you are frantically scratching out this list at 5:00 in the afternoon, all because you’re convinced that establishing some sort of routine is more important than actually tackling what feels like near-death deadlines. Do not start pacing around your room while unconsciously gesturing along with the extensive imaginary conversation between you and your roommate that starts with you making a comment and his response that essentially boils to “Think that might just be the ‘tism, bud :P ”, ending in an elaborate discussion of your symptoms and concerns, as if Luc didn’t almost laugh when you suggested he consider majoring in psychology.

Do not open this goddamn can of worms, because you WILL spill it like a can of beans, and everything will get everywhere, and you already have to clean all the gunk off the floor, and you don’t even know how the heck you’re gonna manage that, and this whole debacle can wait until the morning, really, it can-

[  ] Open it anyway, because you are a coward, and natural selection will gather you first.

[✓] Submit everything at 11:59 and give yourself whiplash getting out of bed, dizzy from the nightmarish chemical cocktail that is Adderall and not enough water. Be dramatic about stumbling to your feet and leaning against the bedpost, because self-pity is an evolutionary survival tactic to comfort ourselves once our parents stop doing it for us. Pace around the room once the hot flash fades.

[  ] Clean dorm.

[✓] Elaborate on the last checkbox because something ungodly thing possessed you to think that “Clean house” was specific enough for your brain to understand on five hours of sleep and prescription speed.

[✓] Do laundry. Tell yourself you will do it as soon as possible, to leave yourself as much time as possible to make all the different trips to the laundry room. Leave it until it's dark out, the image of you getting jumped and stabbed to death poking at your brain like a wet toothpick you keep absentmindedly fiddling with.

The fear will make you walk faster.

[✓] Take out the trash. Leave this for nightfall, because your father’s monthly warnings and the lyrics of the song you performed for your ISP, of femicide and government priorities and how no one goes looking for little brown girls who go missing in the dead of night, and, heck, even the memory of being trapped outside your dorm with the raccoons somehow can’t override the anxiety.

[  ] Wash the dishes. Leave this for last, despite the smell hitting you as hard as the common area hits you each time you turn your key and yank.

[✓] Decline your roommate’s offer to hang out tonight, despite all the time you’ve been wasting and will continue to waste for the rest of the night. Claim you’re too tired in the morning.

[✓] Wipe down all the counters. Waste time every five, ten minutes. Sit with the tension between how mortifying it would be for one of your roommates to walk in on you wasting all this time vs. your insistence that keeping up with mindless chores is SO much easier, really, it's just the schoolwork that takes you forever.

Cut through said tension with a switchblade, if you have to.

[✓] Spend ten minutes trying to figure out how to attack the floor situation.

[   ] Attack the floor situation. Drive yourself crazy with the shoe scuffs you waited too long to deal with.

[✓] Pick up any extra trash. Muse about the time your mother and grandmother caught you in between a month-long academic and the mourning of your childhood dependence, and proceeded to scold you for the rest of the night. Muse about hiding the absence of bra straps and fighting for the hair stylist’s attention and “I don’t want you to get mad when I say this, but sometimes, there are things that we don’t like, but we have to to do them anyway, so…[insert the most horrific, victim blaming, powerless thinking you’ve ever heard in your life]”. Muse about the meaning of the word “presentable”, the antonym of skin and sentence structure and wandering, glassy eyes that give you away every time.

[✓] Play the sound of mother’s fretting over the state of your roommate's bed sheets over the sound of your explaining, of what depression does to the art of your cleaning skills, somewhere in your head, old syllabus crinkling between your fingernails. Wonder if his tarot prediction of a depressive state will come true, if your mother will complain about your room then. If it’s different when it’s you.

[  ] Finish resenting her by the time she arrives to come get you in the morning.

[  ] Pack your stuff for tomorrow. Forget one thing you actually need and one thing you don’t, but your mom wants you to bring anyway.

[  ] Do the billions of things you’re supposed to do sometime during the semester (preferably a month ago), but will probably end up stuck with during finals week.

[✓] Set an alarm. Wake up before it goes off.

[mondaymelon]

MELONEMOENLONEMLONEMealon = meal on me = need to pee

12 24 42 44 50 FOR THE ASSK GAME‼️😨😋🤭

im just gonna casually ignore whatever you said in that first sentence and !! carry on !!!

silly ask game!!!!

12. what kind of day is it?

right now... honestly. not bad? its a friday which means i dont have to be silly wake up tomorrow and then immediately fall back asleep while my alarms are still blaring teehee <33 i did smth silly today and got extra credit in one of my classes for a "pRoblEm evEN SeNiorS woUlDnT bE AblE to SOlve."

literally just calculating bmr for a certain dude whos blabalbla without a calculator and my teacher said i was the most accurate answer of the day ( little does he know that those mere words have increased my self worth by a whopping two cookies )

24. if we were together on a rooftop, what would be doing?

i mean it dependsss... are we trespassing? is it like those highschools in shojo manga where there's like a open air little romantic space where the leads take a break from the world?? am i hanging over the railings trying to catch a pigeon so i can roast it and are you screaming or dead silent or dying ?? who knows lmao

42. an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

...w-wattpad.... i swear ive drained every fandom dry of its good fanfic the amount of 10 and 11 year olds on the platform writing x readers is something else. although i mean i cant really complain on them because there are like... fanfic drafts from six years ago for characters from bhna just rotting in my school google drive... 😭😭 i actually get so much whiplash from the content on there because i swear the ff are either "ew what the fuck," "no thank you," "holy shit that is horrendous do you not know what punctuation is?" or "goddamn holy fucking shit for the love of everything that is good holy and true that was the most beautiful thing i have ever witnessed in my life and i will now proceed to read its thirty hours of content with all the will to live i have left in me" there is no inbetween. ( im getting so desperate for good ff too. like please does anyone have wattpad jjk recs... preferably m or gn reader.. ive literally taken the jjk wattpad fandom and wrung it dry of all content istg )

( jokes aside do i have the tism because both my best friend and my brother have commented on it and i am. trembling in my boots. 😨)

44. you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

myself

hrrmmm now we got to t h i n k here we have to use this pass wisely we have to be sm ar t. about this. this is not an everyday opportunity. like it depends on the specifics yk, if i kill elon musk and loot his corpse of his riches will the government condemn me for it or can i just live like a king on the top floor of my mansion skyscraper at midnight tastefully sipping a fine glass of red wine ( legallly i cannot but as a rich person i can ) as the lights of the city sparkle below?

50. can i tag you in random stuff?

you better. ( threat. )

[junkheaded]

worst tism thing is having to guess why someones mad at me and im ALWAYS wrong… like i can sense when the vibes are off but its always goddamn fucking wizard reasons

[gutsheapofrawiron]

@alissaanne23 okayy!!! theres a lot of people on here who are better at this but i'll give it my best to try and word what ive seen so far

disclaimer that I do not have a lot of real life experience with isfps, I just saw a trend in media where characters will be typed back and forth as istp and isfp, I will be dragging 'adjacent' types into this (esfp and infp) for some points because of my lack of real-life observation

I think one of the (if not the) main reason(s) why isfps and istps may look so similar at a superficial level is probably the combination of the dominant introverted function + auxiliary Se: Se is just a really goddamn 'vivid' and obvious function when on the stronger side and I think its sheer ""brilliance"" blinds people to the functions stacked around it at times. I think isxps navigate the physical realm in a very similar way to each other in the sense that we, regardless of enneagram and instinctual variants, have an inherent sense of comfort with moving in and interacting with the physical world and our five senses. It's more subdued than the way se-doms thrive in it, but it's still very "rooted" and natural. In social psychology, it's been stated/argued that people will make judgements on other peoples behaviour and personalities based on the information that is available to them, not necessarily based on the whole, objective picture, because that is simply unattainable knowledge most of the time. Neither istps or isfps feel the need to express our dominant function because it is introverted, personal to us and quite individualistic, so people on the outside will mainly see that auxiliary Se and make their judgements based on that information, which thusly leads to possible mistypings between the two. But..........that's just a theory

As for the differences, I can't say for sure how the Te-inf manifests in isfps, but in Fi>Te types like infp and esfp I have noticed that, though the Fi takes precedence by far, they'll sometimes seem to "switch voices" and all of a sudden (though the transition is a lot more natural in esfps than infps) say something incredibly Te-competence-focused-hard-facts-above-all.

Fe-inf on the other hand, at best, causes a sort of clumsiness in how Ti-doms express our care for others, and at worst, completely sabotages our relationships because we suck so bad at social conventions in interpersonal situations. In istps I think it really does manifest in actions speaking louder than words, and Ti-doms in general, regardless of whether they actually have it or not, tend to have a little bit of a 'Tism vibe because of this iykwim. For a good example of Fe-inf in action during a pickle I was gonna refer to Kwite's response to the allegations Youtube video, but I think he's deleted it (tbh who can blame him). He's an intp but it gets the point across.

Ti and Fi are both as I said quite individualistic in the sense that we don't feel like we have to voice that part to the world for it to be valid or whatever. A particular trend in Ti-doms I've seen is that we will pretend to be a lot more stupid than we actually are for many different purposes, but here are some examples: 1) avoiding getting the lion's share of work, 2) it'd make a really funny joke, 3) wanting to get out of a difficult social situation, etc. The sheer accessibility of the stupid-strat to this extent and level of commitment is something I have yet to see in any Te-user, though I'd love to be proven wrong. Ti doesn't care about being seen as competent because we know our 'truth'.

Contrasting this, from what I understand, Fi-doms and Fi-users in general have a remarkable ability to just 'sit' in their feelings and really actually feel them. Fi, based on what I'm seeing, also kind of works off the assumption that everyone's got their own inner emotional life and that there's not really a need to express it all of the time, but I might be wrong? It does come across as such though

So Ti and Fi are similar in how we got this sort of inherent self-confidence and are assured in how our dominant function works and how we do not owe anyone to show it, but we can regulate how much we express it if we so wish to (though we don't need to).

Another thing as to why isfp and istp may be confused is just purely stereotypes regarding thinkers vs feelers to be honest. Isfps are often categorised, along with infps, as uwu soft wittle babies with sensitive feewings while istps (and sometimes intps) can only ever be brooding, dark badasses OR robots with no grasp of human emotion. Obviously there's a lot more nuance to that in reality, but unfortunately I have come across at least a couple of cases where people will see a isxp character with intense emotions and immediately type them as isfp for that. Isfps are in touch with their emotions (unless unhealthy but that's another can of worms), whereas istps will downplay the importance of their feelings in favour of other things because Fi is just so low on the function stack for us, and so if we do acknowledge them we'll usually still rather choose for a Fe focus ("I feel like shit but my friend is depressed so I will concentrate on figuring that out instead"), so our emotional situation ends up getting buried anyway. But we obviously do have feelings, and when you repress them that much they're gonna pop out at very inconvenient moments, so emotional expression can be a lot messier and more erratic with istps than with isfps, who, as I said before, are generally more capable of choosing when and how to express their feelings. I say 'can be' because there are also a lot of ixtps who simply do not have a very wide and intense range of feelings, this is a more individually varying thing and this is written from the perspective of an istp with pretty bad mood swings, so not everyone may relate to this but that is inevitable with personality typology stuff.

Anyway TL;DR: Istps and Isfps have a similar vibe on the surface due to secondary Se being a very strong function in how visible it is. Differences between the types are most obvious in Te-inf and Fe-inf, with Ixfps suddenly turning towards a competence-focus in times of crisis whereas Ixtps are generally kind of clumsy socially and struggle to express their emotions and care for others in a comprehensive manner. Fi and Ti are similar in the sense that they've got some kind of self-assuredness in their being, leading to outward expression of these functions being an option rather than a necessity. Lastly, stereotyping of feelers vs thinkers don't help a lot in how more emotional istps and more 'cold' isfps are being typed, because the general concept here is that having even mildly intense feelings assigns one to being an isfp (while being able to make one (1) logically cohesive argument makes you an istp).

I hope this helps! I have no qualifications whatsoever so if anyone can correct me on anything go ahead o/

[neuro-il-logical]

ok so i hear a lot of people talking about different tism symptoms, how they affect life, and how misleading the discription of some of them are (i.e. literal thinking, rigid rule following, etc.) and one of them really stuck out to me.

the one i've seen a lot of people talking about how neurodivergent people see a list of to-do things and neurotypicals see a pie. they take a piece of pie and no one expects them to complete the actual fucking list in its entirety.

i feel like this kimda sorta relates to something i foumd out about recently about my school days.

ar reading levels. holy shit. i genuinelt fucking thought that once you had a range of levels you could read, you were only allowed to read within that godforsaken range. i abhored it. i wanted to read books from like fifth fucking grade and beyond im third grade and i thought i couldn't because those stupid books weren't within the bounds of my reading level range. and that range was so goddamned small that i couldn't find anything in that range that peaked my interest.

i started homeschooling in high school. ninth fucking grade. i learned that i didn't have to abide by the reading range i was assigned in seventh-eighth grade. i wasted so much fucking time abiding by my reading range that when i came up to my librarian, bemoaning not being able to check out a book i wanted because it was outside my ar level, and she told me that the ar levels were nothing but

motherfucking guidelines

and that i was allowed and goddamned encouraged to read whatever the kentucky chicken fried fuck i pleased...

well.

i've cried over this years later. i'm twenty motherfucking years old and this still pisses me the fuck off. i actively held myself back from branching out and reading harder books because of a stupid reading range that no one told me was just a guideline until too late.

[analogboii]

bro idk what it is but every time i see han from stray kids my brain wants to bite his cheeks. i think its just the tism want of bite squishy but goddamn its every time. his cheeks are PERFECT.

[osean-kitty]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about my spinner, you little millenial? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in special ed, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret studies in cost and quality, and I have over 300 confirmed spins. I am trained in CEO spinners and I have the top executive spinner in the entire Reddit 'Tism forces. You are nothing to me but just another bearing. I will spin you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, millenial. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Autistic shuriken collectors across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, millenial. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your cheap, plastic life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can spin you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my sixty dollar fidget. Not only am I extensively trained in fidget-spinner-armed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the executive spinner collection and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little millenial. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fidget spinners all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Some Kiwi Farmer (not me)

[osean-kitty]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about my spinner, you little millenial? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in special ed, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret studies in cost and quality, and I have over 300 confirmed spins. I am trained in CEO spinners and I have the top executive spinner in the entire Reddit 'Tism forces. You are nothing to me but just another bearing. I will spin you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, millenial. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Autistic shuriken collectors across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, millenial. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your cheap, plastic life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can spin you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my sixty dollar fidget. Not only am I extensively trained in fidget-spinner-armed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the executive spinner collection and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little millenial. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fidget spinners all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Some Kiwi Farmer (not me)