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onewmin · 2 years ago

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the perfume on the shelf. pt. 1 | bangchan

Pairing: Bang Chan x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: A slight au, profanity, angst, slight smut, mentions of emotional abuse, unhealthy relationships, typos, maybe punctuation errors, a lot of references to Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo’s songs, but mostly blondie’s music

Author’s note: very self-inserted in parts with parents, toxic exes and therapy lol hope you enjoy!

Part 2

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Tangled in silk sheets, sinking into the colour red surrounding you, you watched him stand up and get dressed, then turning left to take his phone from the nightstand. Closing your eyes quickly, you felt a kiss on your temple.

“Goodnight, baby”.

A sweet whisper sent shivers down your spine, but you kept your sleeping façade present: he couldn’t find out you weren’t asleep. Otherwise, it’ll be harder. Otherwise, you’ll make him stay for another hour, entangled, glistening, lost in pleasure. It’s better if he leaves, it’s always better.

You listen attentively to him collecting his things — car keys, his beanie, bag — and shutting the door on the way out. You hear his keys turn in the door, and regret the moment you gave him a spare one. And as he left, your hands were at your eyes, covering the tears. There was no point in muffling your cries other than for them not to turn into full howls. You were so tired, exhausted of being just a rebound to Chan. Because that’s what you were — a shadow of someone he loved.

You, on the other hand? He didn’t love you. As a friend, yeah, but as a woman? His woman? Never. Never in a million years. Or so you thought.

Sitting on the bed, you wiped the tears from your cheeks, and let out a breath. No, you couldn’t do it anymore. The further this situation progressed, the less you recognized yourself. Chan wasn’t a bad guy, no. It’s just… Despite your big age, despite the built up persona of a mature adult, in the end, you were a naive, broken girl, who just wanted to be loved. Even if this love was collected by you from crumbs of attention Chan was giving you as a potential partner.

Your cat jumped on the bed, coming closer to you; immediately purring after you petted her, and lied down next to your legs. The only living being that loved you unconditionally and the one you loved more than anything. Although you did joke to Chan she grew more fond of him than of you, and he laughed, taking her into his arms and scratching behind her ears. She did love him, too. And he loved her. At least, he loved one part of you — your cat.

Standing up from the bed, followed by a quiet “meow”, you came up to the window. The moon lit an empty street, where Chan’s car was parked just minutes ago. You loved watching him pull up, with a takeaway in his hands and eyes glued to your window. Waving at each other, grinning — he was to see his closest friend, and you…

What about you?

Shit, you wished there was never anything between the two of you. No friendship, no sex, nothing.

You remembered the first time your friendship took a dangerous turn, when his plushy lips landed on yours in a ferocious, drunken kiss. You both were wasted, drinking to ease your sorrows and pain. Both being broken up with your partners at approximately the same time, Chan and you decided to talk, while sharing a bottle of wine. A bottle turned into two, and then three, and you both were crying, cursing your exes, and you found yourself in his lap, fingers tugging on his hair. And his hands on your waist, controlling the way you grinded against him. You remembered sweet nothings whispered into your skin, his gentle, soft palm on your cheek while he was pounding into you. And the look in his eyes, so intense, as if he was starring right into your soul.

Maybe that was the moment when you fell in love with him. Or maybe you convinced yourself you loved him just so you wouldn’t be alone. You really didn’t know. Your therapist said you’d gotten into yet another unhealthy situation, and you believed her, you did. However… Chan wasn’t like your ex. He wasn’t emotionally abusing you, wasn’t turning every happy moment of your life into a nightmare because he was envious. Chan wasn’t a narcissist — a type of guys you tended to fall for in the past. You decided to put a stop to toxicity, and Chan, you thought, sex with him would be an amazing distraction. Oh boy, were you wrong.

“You tell this story, and yet, the guy you’ve been talking about is emotionally, romantically unavailable, right? Isn’t it the same type you’ve been trying to avoid?”

Yeah, your therapist was not in the wrong here. Narcissistic guys, who took everything from you — your emotions, happiness and will to love — unfortunately, were your type. The ones you’d been collecting, falling for, because you didn’t know any better. Repeating the scariest scenario — your mother’s. You were running away from the image of a man, who had never said anything nice to your mom and you, the man, who was selfish and full of shit, the man, who was emotionally abusive and never apologized for his harsh words and actions. The image of your father, and the relationship between two adults you got dragged in against your will. Being involved into it since your early teenagehood, you didn’t know the image of a healthy family, and what’s more important, you had no idea what healthy relationship looked like. One thing to see it in movies and saying,

“Hey, that’s so easy!”

And another one to fulfill it in real life. Your father never complimented your mom, never told her he loved her — the usual, embarrassing things healthy couples do in front of their kids. He was emotionally unavailable, drained, you used to say. Casually cruel for the sake of being honest, the man himself stated. And yet, your mother never left him, even after complaining to you, how tired she was of the rows he was picking.

“Get a divorce”.

“And stay alone when I’m old? Who needs that?”

You stopped giving advice. She would never listen and you’d never help her. She was inserted in this scenario by herself and was never willing to leave it.

And now you were following into your mother’s footsteps, running to the guy type you despised. But daughters tend to repeat their mothers’ mistakes, don’t they?

Although Chan wasn’t like that. He was your friend first (the only guy friend you’ve had in years), and the way he treated you just as a friend… Needless to say, not a guy your mother would even consider looking at herself, when she was younger. But whenever you spoke of him?

“I think he’s in love with you, honey”.

What did she know about love? Didn’t she marry a guy after a couple of months just to have a baby?

So, you never took your mother’s words about Chan seriously. The relationship with your parents was messy, even after years of therapy. You never felt at ease with them, not when talking about your studies, not when having a family dinner. Your mother had a picture of a “stable, happy family” in her head, and that picture was bright and shiny in her eyes. However, she never considered that picture being a façade for a real monstrous family portrait, hidden in the attic. Very Dorian Gray of her, you used to think.

And then there was Chan. Maybe the first man you didn’t consider to be an asshole. He took you to the movies, walks, everywhere — and never demanded anything in return. Chan was one of the reasons your toxic ex broke up with you. Thanks god for Chan.

And when you thought you’d found a friend for years, you two had to have drunken sex. You two had to ruin everything by having hangover sex in the morning. You both had to destroy your friendship by agreeing to be “friends with benefits”. And you had to cut your life into pieces by falling in love with him.

“You feel so good, baby”, he moaned into your skin, “the best fuckin’ feeling in the world”.

You whimpered, shivering under his touch, and seeing nothing but the sky and stars instead of the white ceiling. You were drunk on him, his scent being your oxygen. And when he kissed you, his lips slowly devouring yours, you could swear, you were brought into Heaven.

How could have you given him so much power over you? How could you let yourself fall in love with someone so normal? So normal, that he didn’t fall in love with everyone who gave him the slightest bit of affection?

You slowly strolled to the kitchen, as the sleep washed away the moment you started thinking too much. You managed to get rid of sleepless, teary nights when your ex called it quits, but recently falling asleep seemed harder than it used to be. All because of Chan.

“Maybe I’m some sort of masochist”, you told your therapist once, “as I keep doing back to the same scenario”.

“It is completely the same this time?”

“Not really. Like, yeah, he’s not romantically available, cause he still loves his ex-girlfriend, but he’s different from other guys”.

“Did he tell you he was still in love with his ex?”, you didn’t answer her question. “Or is it you, who’s projecting her fears and anxiety onto a potential partner?”

That shit? Was deep. True. You were indeed projecting. But hey, how could anyone blame you, when relationship rollercoasters were the only thing you’d known?

A great way to escape responsibility for your actions, right?

Sipping tea from the cup, you wondered what he was doing now. Did he go home? Or did he, in (your brain’s twisted) reality, texted his ex and drove to her house, to confess his undying love for her? And then to make love to her just like he did to you, several hours ago? And, if he was so in love with her, wasn’t the thing you two had a kind of an illicit affair? A way of cheating on her?

“Jeez, just shut the fuck up”, you murmured, plopping onto the couch and turning on the TV.

“Maybe I am projecting, but, deep inside, I know the truth. He still loves her, and I’m just a rebound”.

“Elaborate, please. Even though you sound very confident, I’d love to hear your reasoning”.

Nothing coherent came from you that time. Probably because you had nothing to say, just “I trust my gut” — girl, what the actual fuck? Definitely an answer you therapist expected from you; she knew you too well, found out the easy way when you resisted therapy and her implications.

“The right answer is also somewhere in your gut. You just choose to block these thoughts, because if you indulge into them, you’ll have to actually leave the set scenario. But, as we’ve discussed it, isn’t it something you want to do?”.

My god, lady. Couldn’t she just be your inner voice instead of the annoying conspiracy theorist living in your head for free?

TV was boring. You turned to your laptop on the coffee table; to look for another way to distract yourself.

You didn’t plan to watch one of Chan’s latest interviews. You really didn’t. It just happened.

“And what’s your latest album about?”

“A love that slipped away. The one that got away, I’d put it like that”. Any more proof he still loved that girl, huh, Ms. Therapist-Know-It-All?

You slammed your laptop’s lid. “Shit, shit, shit”, you whined right after, checking if the screen wasn’t damaged. Making decisions based on emotions was your thing, truly, but the laptop has been fixed too many times already for you not to treat it gentler that your feelings.

Maybe, you thought, turning on the TV again and lying down on the couch, maybe he’s just too nice to say anything. To break this thing off. “Maybe he pities me, that’s why. He knows what kind of guys I dated, maybe that’s why he continues to keep this going?”

“Projecting again”.

You were too tired to fight with your therapist’s voice. Yeah, you were. But didn’t he himself said, that he had written music about her? And, having heard his songs, you only now realized how much he missed her. If you hadn’t been so pathetic in your desire to be loved by someone, you wouldn’t have fallen for him a month after you two started this shit.

“Why am I the only pathetic one? Isn’t he like that too?”

Shit, he is. A broken-hearted boy, looking for love he had lost in the best friend, who was stupid enough to think he would actually reciprocate her feelings. He made you suffer so much, catching you crying twice, while being in his bed — and never, ever, questioning himself? Never doubting his decision to keep your relationship living?

“Maybe he’s just fucking stupid, that’s all”, you muttered, starring into the screen, a “Friends” episode you’d seen million times before running on. Probably now, after his literal confession on the Internet, his ex would come back to him. And you’d be free from this cage, maybe your wings would grow out once again. Maybe the grass would be greener, and the sun would shine brighter.

But didn’t that mean he’s be the one to break up with you, leaving you with a broken heart because of him, once again? He was never truly yours to lose, so why not to be the first one to end it? You’d dodge a bullet, for sure.

Unlocking your phone, reluctantly looking at the text you’d typed. Wasn’t it better to talk in person? Or to call, at the very least?

“When trying to be nice to everyone else, try to remember: would they be as good and understanding, as you’re to them?”

Chan would be, you thought. He’d sit you on the couch, have an honest conversation, hold you if you cried, and accept every curse thrown at him. He’d understand.

No, wait, back to the possible final frame. Would he be actually understanding towards a girl who fell in love with her friend, who never promised her anything? Or would he just pity her? You didn’t need his pity, you didn’t want his fucking compassion. He would never understand the way you were feeling, the way you…

Fuck him. Fuck him, and his sorrowful gaze, and his hoarse morning voice; fuck him, and his soft hands, and his stupid laugh; fuck him, and him fastening your shirts, and him teaching you how to dance. Fuck him.

One click. The message had been sent. Hopefully, he’d read it and be relieved you had decided to call it quits first. You felt relieved, for sure. Like a weight off your shoulders.

If it was such a relief, why were sobbing into the cushion, hugging your cat? Why did it hurt so bad?

#bang chan #bangchan #bang chan x female reader #bang chan x reader #bang chan imagines #bang chan imagine #bangchan imagines #bangchan imagine #stray kids imagines

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blackbat05 · 3 years ago

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Period Shenanigans

Shangqi x Reader

A/N: Lol so my period came one week earlier than what my period tracker stated? But thank goodness I’m at home and I don’t have any schedules because I would be dead. I try not to arrange anything if I can help it especially on my first few days. What I write is what I experience and what helps me during my period but disclaimer, it may not work for everyone! Hope you liked this impromptu idea that came out of my head. I’m finally done with 10 weeks of placement! Just a little more~ Like and comment if you wish!

Genre: PG-13

Warnings: Shangqi not being like most men and being so caring? Blood (but come on if you can see blood on action movies why not this?) and a whole load of fluff I guess? Oh an one explicit word too haha

The two of you come back from your morning runs as usual. Shower and breakfast was next. But after thirty minutes you didn’t come out of your room.

Shangqi decides to make a visit to make sure that nothing happened to you. ‘Y/N?’ He knocks on your door first. ‘You ok?’ He pressed his ear against the door, straining his ears. All he heard was a few unintelligible muffles. ‘I’m coming in ok?’

He made sure that he received your acknowledgement before slowly opening the door. There you were, crawled up on your bed, a hot pack on your tummy.

‘Fuck…’ you groaned as you tried to find the best position. Couldn’t you just live like a normal human being during this time of the month? Evidently god had other plans.

Let’s face it, at this moment you would have been embarrassed for Shangqi to see you in this state. But first, you were too tired to even care. Second, Shangqi was best friends with Katy before he met you. Surely he had seen enough.

He knows the protocol at the back of his head. Giving you a few reassuring taps on the shoulder, he leaves your room to prepare the essentials.

Tea, painkillers, sliced bananas and your favorite chocolate biscuits. Oh, don’t forget your humongous stuffed penguin that laid at the corner of your room but you were unable to get because of the pain that had nearly paralyzed you.

‘And the portable phone charger because I know you’ll be watching Running Man non stop,’ he passes you the object in question. ‘Be careful not to burst you appendix while laughing ok?’

You punched his shoulder lightly as a form of thanks. ‘What the hell would I do without you Shangqi,’ you adjusted your position to achieve maximum comfort on the bed. ‘Come on, watch with me,’ gesturing for him to sit next to you.

For the next 3 hours or so, you spend a good time with Shangqi laughing at the antics that the show provided. It was a good way to ignore the pain that was slowly going away by the minute.

Having your period meant that you were more tired than usual. After sipping the last bit of tea, you eyes felt heavier by the minute, eventually nodding off on Shangqi’s shoulder.

He slowly cradles your head, bringing it down on the pillow. Making sure that the blanket covered you, he cleaned the remaining stuff before leaving your room.

Sleep definitely helped. You woke up about an hour later to the unmistakable smell of macaroni soup boiling. Still in Shangqi’s oversized hoodie, you carried the stuffed penguin out like a little kid, making your way towards the kitchen.

There he was, donning an apron that said ‘World’s Best Cook’.

‘That’s kind of an exaggeration don’t you think?’ You teased, causing him to turn around. ‘Well, I must have woke you up because of this wonderful smell,’ he jokes back, taking a sip of the soup to test its taste. Satisfied, he closes back the lid to let it boil a bit more.

You appreciated what he did for you whenever your first few days of Niagara Falls proved to be physically taxing on you. But you just had one question…

‘When did you learn to cook Macaroni soup?’

‘Uh well,’ he sheepishly scratches the back of his head. ‘I called your mom earlier while you were asleep. She was kind enough to give me a idiot proof recipe for a cooking newbie like me.’

Appreciated? Scratch that out. You were stunned that he actually went to such lengths to make you feel better. You remembered when you were younger, your mother would cook you a bowl of warm macaroni soup. The chicken broth was light and easy on the stomach but still very filling.

Shangqi notices that you’re just standing there, not saying a word. He worries that maybe he went too far. Should he apologize? Should he just tell you that he wanted to help? Should he-

You come forward to hug him. ‘Thank you Shangqi. I’m probably saying this too many times for my own good but this means a lot to me.’

Wanda and Vision just came back from their Sunday grocery shopping. As Vision was about to walk through the walls to get through the kitchen, Wanda stops him.

‘What is it dear?’

‘I think we can wait. We don’t have any cold things to put in the fridge right?’ Vision shakes his head as he followed her looking very puzzled.

Wanda could see you and Shangqi at the kitchen counter. He was standing across you, eagerly watching you take the first sip, as if waiting for a stamp of approval. Your genuine reaction brings a huge smile to his face as he starts telling you his adventures in the kitchen, you laughing at his exaggerated account multiple times.

The two of you were basically in your own world.

Wanda was like a big sister to you since you came here from Madripoor. She felt herself constantly needing to protect you as despite your abilities, your kind heart served as a danger out in the field.

But ever since you knew the Martial Arts master, Wanda felt like she did not have to worry anymore. She knew that you were surrounded by good friends who would have your back out on the field and for this instance - when you weren’t feeling your best.

She quickly makes her leave before you spot her.

But Shangqi did as he was facing the door. He sees the sorceress put a finger to her lips. So he naturally goes back to the conversation with you.

While you finish the last bit of soup, Shangqi takes a quick peek at the entrance again. Wanda was still there but this time it looked like she had something to say to him. She must have used her abilities as his brain suddenly felt strange.

‘Thank you Shangqi for being with her.’

A/N: Yo this was supposed to be a period headcanon? Or is it just my hormones speaking that makes me unusually emotional. Anyways, hope you enjoyed another Shangqi headcanon again!😂 You have my period to thank for that.

Also can I just say I think my standards have changed? Like if a guy’s really considerate to me on my period like hell I think that’s just really neat in my books because unfortunately I haven’t come across any in real life🥲

#shang chi #xu shangqi #shangqi imagine #shangqi x reader #shang chi x reader #shangqi

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tsunderecookies · 4 years ago

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Horny HC

Pairing: Bakugo x Reader, Midoriya x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Shinso x Reader, Hawks x Reader

Warnings: nsfw subjects, choking, spanking, spitting, hair pulling, language as vulgar as my mind, degrading, daddy kink.

A/N: Count on me to make my first ever post spicy. All characters mentioned in this are aged up to 21+. I hope y'all enjoy reading this. (Also i made these headers myself - not the chibis - so sorry if they shit, I tried :)))

Requests are open. Please send lol, imma run out of ideas.

So for my first set of hc I took the 5 heroes I had the most ideas for but I’ll definitely do hc’s for the rest as well. Also i love the villians so lmk if you guys want me to do a part 2 of this for them or any of the other heroes!

This man

This.Man.

He's gonna blow your back out. No cap.

I mean you see the way he treats his friends, you can't tell me he won't be daddy in bed.

Speaking of Daddy. Authority kink. It's either Sir, Daddy or Master. Katsuki has left the chat.

Bakugou is in charge, and you sure as fuck better know it. If not, he won't hesitate to remind you, teaching you a lesson you won't forget anytime soon.

100% brat tamer.

Bakugou loves putting you back in your place when you step out of line. He lives for the sound of your pleas and apologies as he reminds you of where you belong; on your knees right in front of him. ( that sounded so sexist pls don't come for me )

Punishments come in the form of spanking and edging for hours on end. He's not scared to manhandle you.

You gasp at the harsh feeling of your back slamming against the wall, the feeling of Bakugous hand slipping around your throat sending a wave of arousal straight to your core.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"I said make me.... Daddy." A cheeky smile makes it onto your face as you repeat your words, but just as fast as it appeared it vanishes at the feeling of his hand tightening around your throat.

" Oh princess, you never learn do you?"

His favorite positions includes him hitting it from the back - he loves how he can just push your head into the mattress or lean his chest against your back to whisper dirty things in your ear. Not to mention the fact that he can grab your hair and pull your back flush against his chest as he tilts your head back so you can look at him while he rails you- and missionary with both your legs over his shoulders. He loves seeing the facial expressions you make while he presses his hand down onto your throat, his cock hitting places inside you you didn't know existed.

Definitely not afraid of quickies. He loves the adventure and danger that comes with the possibility of anyone being able to walk in on you at any possible moment.

Dirty talk: on fucking point.

" You like that baby? Yeah? You like it when daddy fucks you hard like this hmm? Tell me how much you love this. Tell me how much you like daddy pounding into you like this."

You know that kinda whiney type dirty talk tone? Like where their words are kinda dragged out and kinda high pitched? Yes. Yes.

Absolutely fucking loves when you can't speak. He loves how your words can barely slip out in between your moans and gasps, how absolutely dumb you are for his cock.

100% degrader.

Change my mind. You can't.

"That's right baby, yes - fuck. Take that cock. Take that fat cock like the slut you are."

"You like that you whore? You like it when daddy tells you how slutty you look all needy for his cock?"

This man is not afraid to mark you up. Good luck covering up those hickeys the next morning because its impossible. He wants everyone to know you belong to him, and you can bet your pretty ass that he has a shit eating grin on his face when someone notices them.

You can bet he has a shit eating grin on his face later when you try to confront him about it. He’ll also have some smart ass remark.

I can definitely see Bakugo having angry post argument sex. By the time he tosses you onto bed and crawls onto you the cause of the argument is long forgotten, the only thing going through his mind being how he's going to fuck the attitude out of you.

Absolutely loves it if you're loud. He wants everyone to know he's the one making you feel that good and that he's the only one who could make you scream like that.

" That's right princess, let the whole fucking city know who's making you feel this good!"

Definitely gonna have a ton of noise complaints, especially from your roommates if you have any. ( idk why but i picture katsuki sharing an apartment w kiri, sero and denki )

Bakugo isn't really a moan typpa guy, but god he will draw out the sexiest and unholiest groans and growls from the back of his throat.

I also feel like he's the type of guy that guides you through giving him head, telling you exactly how to suck his cock before he just grabs a fist full of your hair and ends up fucking your face.

We all know Bakugou is an overachiever, and this reflects during sex. He wants to make you cum as many times as possible using his tongue and fingers before he sticks his dick in you.

He isn't as romantic as Shoto with aftercare but he definitely takes care of you. He makes sure to go pee as well as make you go before turning on the shower for you both, adjusting the temperature to your liking.

He loves washing your hair for you in hopes that you'd do the same for him. He secretly loves the feeling of your fingertips massaging his scalp but would never admit it.

He's not super lovey dovey after, but he makes sure to let you know that you're appreciated.

"Love you, dumbass."

"Love you too, Katsuki."

All in all, you're in for a good dicking down.

I feel like this boy pours so much passion into it.

Especially with his history with his parents. The lack of love during his childhood definitely shows during moments like these.

With him it's always making love, its never just fucking. Sex to him isn't just an activity to get off or procreate ( cough Endeavour cough) its a show of both your love for each other, a moment for your bodies to become one.

Your pleasure definitely comes first to him. He would want to get you off at least a couple of times before even thinking of himself.

Shoto also struggles with expressing his emotions so this is a way for him to show you how he feels physically rather that having to convey it verbally.

He's all about the physical contact.

He definitely holds your hands during and whispers sweet nothings in your ear.

His favourite position is missionary. He loves the closeness, how he can look into your eyes and feel your shaky breathing while he moves inside you.

It's either that or you on top with him sitting upright with your bodies pressed together. He loves how close he can hold you. His one hand intertwining with your hair as he presses your head closer to his, the other around your back, occasionally moving down to you hip to help you grind down onto him.

Loves the feeling of your chest against his as he slowly moves between your hips, head resting against your shoulder as his hot breath fans over your skin.

He presses a chaste kiss to your lips before resting his forehead against yours.

"I love you so much angel, you're so beautiful like this."

He's also the type to light candles and have rose petals everywhere on special occasions.

But just because he makes love to you, doesn't mean he can't rearrange your insides while doing so.

Just hot, sweaty, nasty, rough sex.

But with love <3

Even during the rougher moments he makes sure to show you how much he loves you and how much you mean to him.

He'd have his hand all tangled in your hair, some of the unholiest noises leaving his throat as he takes you from behind. His eyes not leaving yours in the mirror placed in front of you.

"Fuck. You feel so good baby - just like that, yeah - look at me princess."

He's very observant. He takes note of the things the drive you crazy so he can work your body even better next time.

Because sex is something more intimate for him I don't think he'd be into sex in public/semi public areas.

He doesn't want anyone else to see the gorgeous expressions on your face while you're at your most vulnerable, or the heavenly sounds that leave your soft lips for him.

I wouldn't go as far as to say he's possessive, but this is definitely something he views as for his eyes only.

He’s not a very big fan of quickies for the simple fact that he likes to take his time with your body and give you as much pleasure as possible rather than just get you both off. He’d much rather prefer waiting for you both to get home and properly take care of you.

Shoto isn't really vocal in bed, but his pleasure will still be conveyed through his shaky intake off breath and the ways his face scrunches up when you clench around him.

He definitely marks you.

Loves marking you as his on your most delicate and intimate parts, painting your chest and inner thighs as his.

He loves trailing his hand over them, rubbing soft circles on the hickeys with his thumb. To him this is proof of the beautiful moment you guys spent together.

The most passionate sex that you both have would definitely be when shoto comes back from a long business trip, his hand could never compare to your body. He definitely plans on making up for lost time, keeping you in his sheets for as long as possible.

And can i just say

The aftercare

Top tier.

He definitely runs you both a hot bath afterwards.

Candles, bubble bath and your favourite bath bomb. The works.

Definitely wants to carry you but won't do so if you feel uncomfortable about it.

He slips in behind you so you're sat between his thighs, his one hand interlacing with yours while the other softly caresses your stomach.

Sets up a little cuddle corner next to the fireplace so you guys can enjoy a movie before falling asleep in each others arms.

Sweet baby boi.

One word: shy.

Izuku knows what sex is and what happens during this intimate act. He’s also watched porn a couple of times so he knows the basics behind it.

But that doesn’t stop him from shape shifting into a fucking tomato every time you start undressing in front of him.

When you both first started becoming intimate you definitely had to make all the first moves and initiate it all because he was too shy and nervous to do it himself.

Even if he was horny as can be and needed you more than anything he’d rather suffer in silence than tell you or ask you to help him out.

He’s definitely not afraid to ask you how to work your body right. Deku knows that not everyone's bodies work the same and that what might have felt good for someone else won’t exactly work for you. So he asks. He asks you how to work your body right and he’ll keep this in mind for future reference.

He marks you but not as much as the others. He’ll litter them on more intimate places both because he doesn’t want to embarrass or inconvenience you and because he’s the only other one he wants to be able to see em. He’ll also get really blushy when he spots them.

This man 100% has a praise kink. He loves knowing how good he’s making you feel and won’t hesitate to let you know as well.

No matter how many times you’ve been intimate before he’ll always tell you how beautiful you look, how much he loves you and how much he can’t wait to make you feel good.

As time goes by and you give him more praise he’ll become more confident intimately.

I can’t really see Izuku having any hard kinks for the simple fact that he doesn’t like the idea of hurting you in any way, especially intentionally.

Like if you were to ask him to choke you or something he’d do it beacause he wants to please you but it would still be the softest shit you have ever experienced. Like for example he’d have his hand around your throat but he wouldn't add any pressure and his hand would barely graze your ass when he attempts to spank you.

He would be down for quickies but he’d be a nervous wreck about em. He’d constantly worry about getting caught and won’t shut up so you’ll just have to make him ;)

“Zuku don’t worry we’ll be fine.“ Your lips mesh together as you pull him closer by his shirt, tugging at the hem to signal you want it off before moving down towards his belt.

“ But y/n - chan I just don’t want us to get caught...” A whine leaves his throat as you start palming him through his jeans before quickly pulling them along with his briefs down to his knees.

“You need to relax more baby.” You press a kiss next to his ear before sinking down to your knees. “In fact I know just how to help you do that.”

Before he could even think of a response his hand flew up to cover out the loud moan threatening to slip out of his ajar mouth as his head fell back.

He’s definitely loud during sex.

Without a doubt.

He lets out these whiny little moans and he definitely tries to hide em. They wouldn’t be especially high pitched but they’d still be higher than usual. Can definitely see him as the type to cover them up with his hand but when you let him know how much you love them he’ll blush a little but let em all out.

You’ve seen how attentive this man is right? How he takes every little piece of info he gets into account when he fills out his journal and comes up with plans?

Yeah your body has its own journal.

Joke lol, but Deku is very attentive and takes note of every reaction he gets out of your body with his touch. How your back arches when his fingers hit that spot inside of you. How your moans get louder when he angles his hips in a certain way. How goosebumps appear when he litters kisses down your neck.

Aftercare with him is the cutest thing ever.

Blushy boi again.

He holds you close to his naked body and pushes his head into the crook of your neck to hide his blush. He’ll thank you for not only sharing moments like these with him but also allowing him to be apart of your life.

Now and then you guys take a hot bath together afterwards but most of the time you fall asleep in each others arms, an occasional kiss being placed on your forehead with a word of comfort.

This man will just love on you so hard.

The first thing that pops into my head when I think Shinso and sex is kitten.

He definitely calls you kitten in bed and he is daddy. period.

Like this man is rough. Without a doubt.

He’s the type that’s really fun to tease because you know he’ll punish you later. Especially if you do it while he’s at work.

A gasp leaves your lips when you feel a familiar pair of arms circle your waist, his warm body pinning you against the railing of the balcony.

"Surprised kitten? I thought you would've expected this, sending me those lewd photos while im at work. "

His hands move to grab onto your waist and push you further into the railing, yours grabbing onto it in turn.

His chest vibrates against your back as he chuckles, you can practically feel the smirk on his face.

"Yeah, you better fucking hold on to something."

I also feel like his pull out game is the best. He mostly enjoys cumming on either your chest or your lower back and face on special occasions.

He loves taking you from behind or on your side while lifting your one leg. He also loves sitting on the edge of the bed with you on top of him with your back facing him while he guides your hips up and down.

He loves these positions because it gives him the perfect angle to please and tease. He can easily reach around and play with your nipples but he can also tease you by just stilling inside of you when you least expect it.

It also gives him better access to the most sensitive parts of your neck so he can mark you up.

I feel like Shinso has a very high sex drive. Like i feel like he's down to go whenever wherever, which is why i think quickies with him is almost a daily occurrence. He loves the risk behind it and he definitely knows how finish you off within 5 minutes.

He absolutely loves it when you're a brat so use this to your advantage because it will get you r a i l e d.

A loud groan escapes the back of Shinso's throat, his hand tangled in your hair while he rams into you from behind.

"Is this what you wanted baby? Huh? Me fucking the brat out of you?"

He is an absolute king with his hands and he knows it. He knows how to get you absolutely spent with just 2 fingers.

Definitely jealous as fuck but he doesn't do anything about it until you're alone. He'll act normal up until you get home before pinning you against the wall and reminding you that he's the only man you should be giving attention to.

And oh my god this man can go all night long. He’ll pound you into the mattress until HE thinks you’ve had enough, sweat gleaming on both your bodies in the moonlight as he finally pulls out and pulls you close to him.

He’s definitely very adventurous. He’s not afraid to experiment at all.

I also feel like when he cums he cums A LOT. Like one of his favourite things ever would be you on you knees in front of him, his cock buried deep down your throat as you struggle to swallow everything he's giving you.

Sleepy sex is basically a morning ritual, his hips already rutting against your ass before you've even properly woken up. He loves the laziness of the whole ordeal as well as the closeness. Before you he'd just rub one out before falling back asleep, but now that you're here he can just indulge in you and then fall back asleep. Not that you mind.

Shinso doesn't leave hickeys intentionally. He just gets into it and does it without noticing it. Thinks it's hilarious as fuck when you struggle to hide them and definitely makes a comment about you knowing you enjoyed it so why complain now.

Definitely the type to wake you up and ask you to ride him at ungodly hours.

Member of the suck me off while I'm gaming club.

A little bonus: I can just see both of you going at it and he’s doing you good and then all of a sudden he just stops. Naturally you just assume he’s just trying to be a tease so you buck your hips up in attempt to get him to move inside of you and let out a whiny moan. Shinso would just kinda calmly look at you and go “ Baby... she’s on top of me.” and you’d be like huh???? tf he talking about, and just look up and see the cat you adopted together peeking at you over his shoulder. She lets out the cutest little meow and you both start giggling, taking a mental note to close the bedroom door before you get down in future.

After sex he’d take care of you. He’d clean you up and cuddle you really close. He’d run his fingers through your hair and massage your scalp for you. Will wake you up with breakfast in bed the next morning and a cup of coffee/tea.

Hawks has a god complex in bed and you can't convince me otherwise.

He's the absolute king of oral. He isn't just gluttonous for food if you catch my drift. He knows how to use his tongue, and the way he uses it on your sex is enough to make you see stars.

"Oh god. Fuck, i-i need- oh my god. Keigo, I need mhmmnnmm" your hand runs through his golden locks as you press him closer to your core, hips bucking and thighs threatening to close around his head.

Keigos head peaks up from between your legs, his mouth glistening with your arousal as his hand picks up where his tongue left off. A cocky smile sneaks it's way on his face.

"That's right baby, tell god what you need."

Hawks loves taking you in missionary. Why you may ask. Because this gives you perfect access to his wings. Nothing gets him more riled up than the feeling of your fingers dancing over the base of his wings where they meet his skin. The feeling's enough to draw a growl from within his chest, his hips immediately picking up momentum as he pounds you deeper into the bed.

Just like Katsuki, Keigo isn't afraid to mahandle you.

He loves the sight of your fucked out face as he wraps his hand around you throat, incoherent mumbles the only thing leaving your swollen lips.

He fucks you stupid, tongue lolling out of your mouth and eyes rolling back into your head. The sight of this turns him on ten times more than he already was in the first place.

Keigo will also use his feathers on you 100%.

A small gasp leaves your lips at the feeling of something soft stimulating your sex. You lower your eyes, undeniably turned on by the sight of one of Keigos feathers matching the momentum of his thrusts as his hips slam into yours.

Your eyes travel back up to your lovers face, unable to hold back the moan that escapes your lips as he winks at you with a smirk and picks up his pace.

Undeniably into praise. He absolutely loves when you tell him how good he's making you feel and how he's the only one who possibly could make you feel this way. Definitely gets cocky about it.

Along with his love for praise he also has a love for degrading. He loves the way you instantly start moaning louder and tightening up when he starts calling you his little slut and cocksleeve, it's enough to make his dick twitch.

Definitely possessive and protective as hell over you. Being Keigos sidekick meant a lot of work related arguments about recklessness from both sides. These arguments often times lead to hate sex.

A harsh tug on your arm stops you dead in your tracks as you turn around to come face to face with your fiancee, the scowl on his face giving away exactly what he was feeling before he could even get a chance to open his mouth.

"What the fuck was that." His breath was hot as it fanned over your face, the smell of mint unmissable. "That, Keigo, was me doing my fucking job." "No y/n, that was you being careless! What the fuck were you thinking risking your life like that?!" " Last time i checked that was our job description! We're supposed to be risking our lives to save innocent people, or does that suddenly mean nothing to you anymore?" "I don't fucking care about them I care about you! I have half a mind to remove you from field work thanks to that little stunt!" " For fucks sake Keigo! What are you gonna do?! Tie me to a fucking desk?!"

Within two seconds your back was pressed against a wall, your fiancees hands slamming down next to your head as he moves his face dangerously close to yours.

" Tread lightly princess, or i just might."

Adding to the possessiveness, i feel like Keigo will be one jealous son of a bitch with no shame at all.

Like he'd take you out for dinner at some fancy restaurant to treat you, only to have your waiter start flirting with you. Keigos blood would start boiling, his jaw set as he'd glare at the man flirting with his mate.

As soon as the waiter leaves he'd make some snarky, passive aggressive comments about the scenario before dragging you into the bathroom mumbling " If he can't see who you belong to I guess I'll have to show him"

He'd then proceed to shamelessly pound the fuck out of you in the restaurant making sure everyone, especially that waiter, could hear every single sound the left your lips. He'd leave so many hickeys on your neck. He needs to mark what's his.

"You're mine. You understand me? You belong to me baby, you're all mine." His hand roughly grabs your face making you look him in the eyes. "Say it." He gets impatient, lifting his hand to lightly slap your face, the action drawing a moan from your lips. " I said fucking say it."

Total exhibitionist. You have definitely been pinned against the large windows in your apartment or even his agency, on full display to anyone walking by as he fucks you nice and hard.

I feel like aftercare with Keigo would be little things that don't necessarily classify as aftercare but comforts you both.

After pulling out of you Keigo would lay down next to you, his hands wrapping around your body to pull you closer as his heart hammers in his chest and he waits for his breathing to calm down a tad.

He'd then get up, tug on a pair of boxers and grab the box of cigarettes and lighter on his bedside table before heading out to the balcony.

You'd slip out of bed, putting on his shirt before joining him outside. Your arms would be wrapped around his waist while he smoked, both of you enjoying the slight late night breeze and the sound of the bustling city before heading inside to snuggle up and fall asleep together.

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whisplion · 2 years ago

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Was tagged by @cyborg-franky to do the f/o’s questions a while ago and just finished it! It’s from @one-piece-fo-prompts and seemed like fun!

——————————🔥⚙️—————————————

Who are your [F/O’s]

I have a few but I will doing only Ace today

Do you have a devil fruit? If you don't, would you eat one given the chance?

Maybe! Would probably like Kid’s fruit best or even Enel’s would come in handy fixing things as Levi is a traveling mechanic/ odd jobs person.

What walk of life are you from? (Pirate, marine, etc.)

Levi is a normal civilian who travels on the sea looking for work and exploring (so maybe a explorer?) She is heavily associated with pirates though (Law and his crew she spent quite some time with. Also her aunt is Whitey Bay of the WB pirates/alliance)

What walk of life is your f/o from?

A pirate and a notorious one at that.

How did your paths cross?

Levi was in the East Blue and came across Deuce trying to pull Ace out of a riverbank. It was quite a comical sight.

If you’re wanted, how does your f/o feel about it?

Levi only gets a bounty after the time skip and Ace is actually shocked by it at first but things happen. He thinks it’s cool but also feels bad about it because now she will be even more in danger because of him.

Who has the higher bounty?

Ace does.

What’s your favorite type of island?

A spring one.

Where is your favorite place you have been with your f/o?

Sabody it was where Ace first confessed also where he said goodbye to Levi before Marineford. That’s more an emotional level but Levi’s favorite place is an island in WB territory it’s covered in meadows of flowers.

Where else do you want to go with your f/o?

Zou, Baterilla and Dawn Island Ace often talks about his home island often.

Did your crew help you get together with your f/o?

Not really it sort of just happened on its own plus Levi came to see Ace after she found out he joined WB.

Do your crew tease you and your f/o?

They do and it’s all in good fun until Levi gets annoyed and punches someone.

Does your f/o have pet names for you?

Levi: Bear, My moon (when drunk), Grease Monkey, Love, Bae.

Ace: Firefly, Sunshine, Babe, Love, Freckles.

Five words to describe your ship dynamic.

Night/Day, Protective, Boundless, Hot heads, troublemakers.

Whose the more dominate one in the relationship?

Equal balance (though Ace won’t admit it but he loves being taken care of and Levi loves giving it to him)

Do you or your f/o ever misuse your devil fruit in the bedroom?

Sometimes got to love temperature play plus Ace just loves rubbing his warm hands all over Levi.

Ever been caught by your crew?

One time Levi was bending Ace over and—

How spontaneous in bed is your f/o?

Ace is very adventurous and Levi isn’t opposed to trying things with Ace even it’s to only satisfy Ace sometimes. She gets more out of pleasing him a lot of the time.

Ever had dirty dreams about your f/o before you got together?

It happened a few times she knew he was attractive but nothing really stuck out until he confessed to her and after that he was all she could think about.

Do you have a name for your selfship?

Fire-Star Dust I guess? It’s mostly Fire and Mechanic lol.

Do you sleep in the same bed?

They do yes.

Who’s the little spoon and who’s the big spoon?

They take turns but a lot of the time Levi doesn’t likes her space so she shoves Ace away a lot of the time.

What position does your f/o sleep in?

On his stomach/side or if he passes out on his back. He likes to cuddle so they have to compromise with sometimes just holding hands or sleeping back to back touching.

What’s does your f/o wear to bed?

Levi gets cold easily so she likes to sleep in actual pjs even if they are mismatched or sometimes just a T-shirt and underwear. Ace sleeps in boxers or nothing at all. He’s a nudist at heart.

Which of you wakes you first?

Depends Ace has narcolepsy so his sleeping habits are awful he can be up at all hours or sleep until noon. Usually it’s Levi though she lets Ace sleep in.

Does your f/o wake you up or let you sleep in?

Levi wakes Ace up not the other way around.

Do you take naps together?

They do can mostly be napping basically anywhere.

What to do you when your f/o can’t sleep?

A lot of the time Levi doesn’t know Ace is awake but when she does they just sit in the dark and say nothing. Other times she will make them some tea or talk softly about nothing.

What does your f/o do when you can’t sleep?

Most the same as above but sometimes Ace isn’t good with words so he grabs Levi into his arms and just holds her.

Do you or your f/o cook? Both? Neither?

Both cook to varying degrees but Levi has had more practice after the time skip.

Does your f/o remember to eat or do you have to

Ace never forgets to eat.

Does your f/o have to remind you to eat?

Sometimes yes.

#one piece #one piece oc #one piece f/o #portgas d. ace #portgas d. ace x reader #portgas d. ace x oc #Ace x Levi

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aiiwa · 4 years ago

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SUMMERS WITH YOU — OIKAWA TOORU.

— oikawa tooru.

genre: fluff, fluff, fluff

warnings: cursing, suggestive themes, a tiny, tiny bit nsfw - i can’t help it. not really proof read since its 4am.

word count: 1.7k

— a/n: it was about time i wrote a fic for him hehe. what if i said this was originally a hawks fic i wrote but never posted lol.

— navi. | m.list

oikawa loved summer.

summer mornings where the sun would bathe you in its radiance; capturing the soft glow of your bare back, and the cheeky glint in your eyes as you rolled on your side to face him. you’d giggle at the way your hair stuck out at odd angles, leaning into his touch as he brushed the strands away from your face. and with a pretty smile on your pink lips, you’d whisper the sweetest, “good morning, babe,” leaving oikawa with no choice but to pull you on top of him. he’d claim just five minutes of cuddling, ignoring the roll of your eyes as you snuggled into his warm chest. it was always an hour later that the two of you would leave the comfort of your shared bed.

then there were summer days spent at the beach, with you laid out on your stomach between his toned legs. oikawa could taste the sea salt, and a hit of your cherry lip gloss, on his tongue; a smirk tugging at his mouth as he remembered the kiss he’d stolen from you in the parking lot. electrifying tingles spreading across the palms of his big hands, as he continued to rub the cool lotion on your smooth skin - hands moving lower and lower-

“ah, tooru.” you hiss as his wandering fingers massaged dangerously close to your clothed heat, brushing the underside of your lush thighs. you turned back to playfully glare at him. “watch it, there’s people here.”

“oh c’mon, mi amor. that’s never stopped us before, has it?” when he teasingly dips under your rose tinted bikini bottoms, pads of his long fingers trailing a scorching path against you - it was fair to say he earned the swift dig to his side with the heel of your foot. “ow, baby, shit that hurt.”

holding his side as if he were a wounded soldier, he stared at you with pouty lips and wide eyes, insisting you kiss it better. and when you had sat up to, begrudgingly, press a kiss to his poor boo boo; you’d find yourself in his lap, with his lips moulded to yours. it was easy to say days at the beach usually ended much easier than you wanted them to.

but the warm summer nights spent with you, were his favourite.

intimate dinners prepared together, were eaten on the balcony of your shared apartment - a real gem located right by the water, and a short walk away from the markets you frequented. oikawa would refuse to eat unless you had taken a seat on your throne, rather his lap; which was right where you belonged. and he always got his way. so together you would eat, with you talking animatedly about your day, and him relishing in the feel of your body against his.

after washing and drying the dishes, oikawa had offered a walk along the beach - a makeshift apology for cutting your beach time in the daylight short. though he didn’t seem the least bit sorry, you still agreed.

so walking hand in hand, you tugged him to a stop before the gentle tides.

the golden sun had long set, in its place a full moon high up in the darkened sky; wispy clouds were sparse, allowing the bright constellations of the glittering stars to be seen. but with the way you stared up into the heavens - the shadowed angle of your jaw, the soft curve of your cheek, as your sweet lips parted slightly in awe - oikawa could feel his mouth run dry. the stars, the moon, the galaxy; had absolutely nothing on you.

he hadn’t even noticed you were speaking to him, his heart beating heavily in his ears until you turned around and...and…

“holy fuck, mi amor...you’re an angel.”

your eyes widened at his admission, a giggle escaping your mouth before you shyly lowered your gaze, long lashes brushing your heated cheeks. the chalk-white moon beamed from behind your silhouette, the luminescence haloing around your body, an ethereal glow that had oikawa believing he had truly been blessed with an angel. he held his breath when you looked back up at him; pink tongue swiping across your bottom lip, oikawa mimicking the same motion wantingly.

“how about a swim?” you propose, brushing your hand across the back of your lithe neck, down to your chest.

“oh? do you want me to grab our suits?” he asks distractedly.

his eyes focus on your hand trailing down the side of your body, dusting the trim of your white baby doll dress that barely brushed the top of your thighs. his hands began to twitch at the obvious teasing, so eager to touch you.

“no need.” and with a smirk, you swiftly pull the dress over your head, revealing yourself fully to him.

oikawa gapes, as he commits every luscious curve and sexy dip of your exposed flesh. every time you stood before him, in all your unrivaled beauty, it was always like he was seeing you for the first time. as if he was still that same senior in high school who almost combusted at the sight of your naked flesh; rather than the professional volleyball player who had learned and loved your body every day and night. he couldn’t help but thank whichever god was watching over him; blessing his eyes, and his eyes only, with you.

suddenly remembering where the two of you were, and with the thought of other undeserving eyes being able to see what was his; he forced his gaze away from you. keen eyes scanned the perimeter of the beach, only relaxing a bit when he was certain the two of you were the only ones out.

“tooru.” you called out for him, the sound of your soft voice sent a shiver down his spine. you commandeered his attention and he was all-willing.

refocusing on you, he held in the groan that almost escaped his lips. you had waded into the water, shaped legs languidly gliding through the waves, and the sightly view of your full ass was obstructed once you halted your movement, hip-deep in the water. it was unfair how easily you made his body react to you; ragged breaths, heat spreading across his body, and the uncomfortable tightening in the crotch of his shorts, were telling.

“are you gonna strip and join me?” the question was almost innocent, but from the lilt in your tone, oikawa knew it was anything but. especially when you smirked and teased him over your shoulder. “come and get me, oh great king.”

oikawa was sure he’d achieved a new record with how fast he had torn off his clothes to chase after you. with a shriek you had attempted to run off, though the sound of your laughter was cut off once he easily trapped you with his arms around your waist. leaning down, he nuzzles his face into the smooth spaces between your shoulder and jaw, inhaling deeply, an crooning at the smell of your scent invading his senses.

he began peppering a path of wet, open-mouthed kisses, tasting the sweet and saltiness of your skin; your small hands grasped at his arms around your waist, arching back into him. he halted by your ear with hot, bated breaths.

“i caught you, mi amor.” he hummed throatily.

wriggling in his grasp and turning around to face him, oikawa felt his breath leave him once again. the sound of his racing heart beating echoed in his ears as he took in the vision of you before him.

you were flush against him, the soft cushioning of your chest against his own; had his straining member pressed into your belly twitch, eager for your attention. oikawa was ready to beg for your touch, to put him out of his misery, but his clouded thoughts were pushed aside.

your fingers trailed from his wrists, upwards, tracing the veins of his forearms and giving his biceps a self-indulgent squeeze. reaching his broad shoulders, you almost had to tip toe to slide the flat of your palms around his neck; one reaching further to tangle into the tufts of coffee-toned hair at his nape. tugging at the strands, oikawa releases a whine as you pulled yourself closer to him. craning your neck to look up at him, he glances down and gulps audibly at the emotion painted on your pretty features.

“i hope you know you’ve caught me for life.” you whisper to him, tightening your grip almost painfully. “i’m so deeply in love with you, if you ever left me...i-”

overwhelmed with the purity of your love and raw affection, oikawa let’s his instincts take over. bending his knees, he slides his large hands down your body, lifting you up into him by the silky underside of you ass. like second nature, your ankles lock together behind his back, and the gasp that tries to escape your mouth is swallowed as he presses his lips to yours.

at first the kiss is slow and familiar. swiping his tongue across the soft pout of your bottom lip, he welcomes the tastes of the cherry-flavoured lustre. the heat shared between your flushed besides increasingly becomes scorching hot, the shape of you searing into his skin. oikawa wonders if you can feel his heart trying to escape the confines of his heaving chest; when you melt in his hold, delicate hand tracing along the scruff of his jaw as you deepen the kiss. his fingers dig bruises deep in your thighs, grinding you against the taut muscles of his abs.

yet it was when you gently suckled on his tongue, that oikawa submitted himself to you. the guttural sound that escaped the back of his throat was slightly muffled, and only encouraged you further. feeling himself almost being fully consumed by you, oikawa pulls away. breathless - the lewd string of silver connecting your mouths, and the dazed look in your eyes did nothing to calm him.

oikawa may have loved summer, but he loved you even more. so he leans forward again, pressing his damp forehead against your own, your laboured breaths caressing his mouth as he swore to you;

“we’re forever, mi amor. i’m never letting you go, in this time or the next. i love you.”

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #haikyuu character x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa fluff #oikawa tooru fluff

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espritmuse · 3 years ago

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Zeke and Reiner birthday collab!! It was supposed to be longer but my sens of organisations is close to zero so I was late as usual @saccharine-darling collab!!!

4K words, smut ahead (but not that much lol)

Warning: reader is low-key cheating, semi public sex maybe angst too idk….

Perhaps the sun, always glorious and a harbinger of delight and bliss, reminded you of how dull and dreary your life was, while the moon and its obscurity brought you back to your slumbers and reveries.

On a bright day when everything seemed dark, questioning your relationship with Reiner, you met him, Zeke Yeager, like a light among the stars, like the moon eclipsing the sun for a mere moment, but maybe long enough to forget about how bright the sun used to shine.

—LUNAR ECLIPSE—

A single tiny piece of sunshine that seemed to escape from the firmament to find refuge, a curtain slightly ajar so that the darkness did not take over the whole room and one side of the bed unmade, the grey cotton sheets crumpled as usual, as they have been every morning for several months now. It was all these little details, in addition to your noisy alarm clock, the passers-by and the cars in the city streets, that brought you out of your long and sweet reverie, the one that allowed you to escape from your daily life, which was morose, to say the least.

You gathered up what courage you had left and got up after stretching your numb limbs from the awkward position you had been in while sleeping. Walking a few steps to reach the window, you opened the shutters and curtains to finally let the sweet sunshine into the sad room, which needed it. Although you had no desire to see him again, your stomach was just rumbling with anticipation of anything that might fill it. So you opened the white wooden door, turned the gold handle, and headed for the main room of your little flat.

"Morning." You greeted with a sigh before opening one of the small doors in the wall shelves to pick up a black patterned mug into which you poured coffee straight from the coffee pot.

"Hm." The short-haired man simply replied without even bothering to look in your direction, as if he didn't care about your presence anymore.

You didn't even care, you'd taught your heart not to feel bruised by every loveless move he made. He just couldn't stand you anymore, he didn't love you like he used to. You don't know what changed, what you could have done to make your sweet and loving boyfriend suddenly change his behaviour.. The idea that he had met someone else had crossed your mind more than once, but you didn't even dare ask him; you were frightened of the answer he might address you. Despite his silence, you never stopped loving him and it hurt you deeply that he could have gone to someone else, another girl, maybe more beautiful, funnier... It's all these questions that have little by little pushed you away from him in your turn.

"Did you sleep well? It was hot last night and I had a little trouble falling asleep.” But you tried to talk to him, no matter what, you always found something to say to try to reconnect with the man you loved.

With the summer, the heat and the sun, he had even more excuses to go out at all hours of the day so you had even less opportunity to see him. At times you can't help but think back to the days when you would jump into his arms as soon as you heard his keys turn in the front door lock, when you would spend the evening in each other's arms whispering sweet nothings. You think back on those moments with great melancholy, you don't even feel like the same man anymore.

“Yeah.” Once again, he didn't look at you; his head was turned towards the television, which was showing a programme even more boring than the questions you were asking him to break the ice. Slumped on the sofa, his left leg stretched out and the other bent; you sat down next to him and put your cup on the living room’s small coffee table.

"We could go out today, don't you think? I miss when we used to go for walks in the city Reiner." You asked, your eyes on him, and thankfully you noticed a small movement in his regard as if in a second he had recalled happy memories, memories where everything still seemed perfect.

"I...I already have stuff planned." He replied after a short moment, his gaze still evasive.

"Oh...Okay." You simply answered, not wanting to annoy him longer, maybe that was the reason; you were too much on his back, you were asking for too much attention...

Silently sipping your coffee, you pondered for a moment, your mind elsewhere. After a few minutes of communicating to yourself, you made your settlement. You were going to go out without him, you didn’t need him for everything. It had been weeks since you had been out with just yourself and you were beginning to miss it; when you officially moved in with him, away from your family, you lost touch with many of your friends so it was high time to meet new people and have some fun for once.

So the day passed, the noon and then the afternoon; you had decided to go out at night to appreciate everything even better, the big lights on the main boulevard, itself filled with people dancing -contrasting with their morose faces of the day-, the bars full of life, the stars overhanging the sky and giving it a bit of light in its solitary gloom...Everything seemed more beautiful once the sun was down. Perhaps the sun, always bright and a harbinger of delight and hapiness, reminded you of how dull and dreary your life was, while the moon and its night brought you back to your slumbers and reveries.

Using your phone, you took down the address of a bar in your town that you had spotted earlier on one of your walks. It was quite big but seemed to be a bit of an upmarket bar, given the prices of the drinks. But you didn't give up, it was your night out, all to yourself and it didn't matter if you ended up broke, you wanted to have fun for once.

So when night fell, you put on your best evening dress, a short black dress, hugging your body to perfection without being too tight, and your pumps of the same colour - a little high and uncomfortable, but that would be a problem for later -. And of course, you took forever to make yourself beautiful in the bathroom, make-up, eyebrows, nails... Who knows, maybe you were going to meet someone, or maybe somewhere in the back of your mind, you wished Reiner would see you like this, that he would fall in love with you again like he did a few years before when he saw you at that campus party. You would have liked him to compliment you, to ask you to stay home, or even to ask you out instead; but none of that; he was already off somewhere while you were primping in the next room.

Turning the key in the lock of the front door, you then went down the stairs quickly - trying not to fall with your impractical high heels - and went to the taxi you had ordered beforehand because, although the bar was not far away, you were still a woman in a short dress at night and you didn't want to put your life in danger. Once in the car, the driver began to drive carefully, exchanging a word or two with you so that the journey would not be too boring.

"So, a girls' night out? It's a beautiful day right now, even at night, you're lucky to see the stars in the city, with the pollution, not everyone gets to see them so often." The man says to you, hands on the wheel, looking straight ahead, preparing to brake at the red light.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm going out to have some fun." You simply replied to the white-haired, long-bearded widow with the same unkempt light colour.

"In my day, me and my friends used to run out of bars, unpaid!" He recalled with a smile as he looked at you through the car window to look at your smiling face, too. "So if you need me to wait for you outside the bar so you can escape, don't hesitate, the police have never caught me...yet."

"It's going to be hard for me to run around with these things on my feet...but I'll make a note, the prices are outrageous." You replied to his somewhat amusing remark.

The car had been driving for several minutes now and you saw the front of the bar, so the driver pulled over and waited for you to give him the money for the fare, which you said after digging into your wallet for a few seconds.

“Take care of yourself miss” He finally said before rolling up the driver's side window and leaving.

You breathed out a deep breath before crossing the street that separated you from the place. It was, like all the other signs of this kind, much more animated at this hour and more beautiful too. Its many lights of all colours and the people who surrounded it, some outside to smoke or drink and others, inside laughing with friends, that you could see between the half-open doors... All this gave an astonishing charm to this place.

Your legs a little shaky with hesitation, you finally entered, putting your hands on one of the glass doors to push it open slightly to give yourself more room to pass. You quickly made your way to the bar at the far right of the large room. To avoid people who had already had too much to drink, you stayed close to the walls, walking quickly along them to wait for the right place. Although your steps went in one direction, your eyes, curious as they are, turned towards the dance floor and the other people present. They seemed so happy, full of life, smiling, dancing... You wondered immediately if, like you, their lives were not a reflection of their current emotions, if, like you, they woke up in the morning, sad with the feeling that their lives are meaningless. They seem so happy at the time, but are they really happy once the sun rises, once the bar lights go out?

You took a seat on one of the leather stools placed at the counter, waiting for a waiter to ask you what you wanted to order. A simple whisky, that's what you took when the waiter came towards you.

Sipping your drink -or rather the second one, as you had swallowed the first one in record time-, you continued to look at the others, indefinitely, when you heard a voice break your precious silence; it was the bar's waiter once again but this, this time he was holding a small plate with two drinks on it.

"Excuse me, here," he placed two more glasses of whiskey in front of you, "The man over there paid for you." He nodded towards another part of the room to your puzzled look. In the distance, there was a group of men who looked like businessmen, from the black suits they were still wearing. You didn't know which man he was talking about, there were several of them; two with blond hair, one who looked very effeminate and the other with glasses and a beard; a dark-skinned man with closely shaved hair and finally a dark-haired man who seemed to be smaller in stature, especially compared to one of the blond men beside him.

You turned back your head to its original position, a little smile on your face, proud that your charm was still working, and what's more, on a man who seemed rather attractive - because, even if you didn't know which man the drink came from, the four of them were rather to your liking -

"Is this seat taken?" A deep yet soft voice suddenly asked, taking you out of your reverie.

You turned towards the noise you had just heard and noticed that a young man, about your age or maybe older, was pointing with his index finger at the chair next to yours. He was one of the guys you just saw some minutes prior, one of the blonde, the one with the beard and the round silver glasses.

“Oh...No. No, it’s not, you can take it,” you answered as naturally as possible, with a smile that had not yet left your lips. The unamed man said before sitting on the chair at your right, he had a cup in his hand, half empty.

“So...What a girl like you is doing here..” he leaned over a little to look at the other vacant seat on your left. “...all by herself?”

"Oh well, I was supposed to come with someone but they dropped me... so I preferred to come alone." you replied honestly, your eyes looking into his.

"He doesn't know what he's missing then." He added with a small smile and a discreet wink.

Although the man was attractive, you weren't used to that anymore; going out to bars, being accosted…Since you were with Reiner, you had developed the habit of always replying negatively to the advances of men. But at the moment everything was racing through your brain, you didn't even know what he was doing tonight and he didn't even bother to ask you where you were going, as if he didn't care anymore.

To have fun. That was the promise you made to yourself, and you decided to keep it.

"Zeke, nice to meet you. "You finally told him after he asked your name and, of course, you asked his in return.

Maybe it was the liquor, or maybe it was the sense of freedom you hadn't had the pleasure of feeling in months, but for some reason you'd ended up chatting with him for hours. You knew that time was passing, thanks to the waiter's digital watch that lit up every time he lifted his arm to look for a bottle up high, your eyes were directed straight to the sudden glimpse of light in the darkness.

He offered to dance, which you refused, for fear that your heels would give out under your inexperienced movements - or maybe those embarrassing movements were the real reason - and then he offered you something else, something a little daring, maybe even too daring for the short time you'd both been sitting at the bar.

You accepted, without even considering too much, maybe you should have? or maybe the adrenaline and the alcohol in your veins spoke for you. This man had appeared like lightning in the middle of a storm, the moon in the middle of a sky devoid of light. In other words, he was there at the right time.

So there you were, without really knowing how or why, sitting on the edge of one of the sinks in the bar's toilets, your dress somewhat raised so that your skin could come into contact with the cold surface of the piece of furniture, your legs spread -it was almost pathetic- and his hands placed on your half-opened thighs, rough hands, large and painted with several blue veins, contrasting with his rather light skin and which gave in spite of themselves a little colour to his light skin.

"Are you sure no one will come and disturb us here?" You asked, putting your hands on his chest, still dressed, although he had removed his black blazer. Only a white shirt prevented you from coming into direct contact with his skin, the one you wanted so much, now.

"Don't worry...just relax, okay?" He moved closer to you and placed a soft kiss on your neck that made your eyelids close almost instantly.

His lips began to move freely over your face and chest, as if they couldn't decide where to land. His arms were still wrapped around you, moving around your back, catching the fabric of your dress at times, as if to bring you closer to him.

While your eyelids were still closed, your ears were attentive to every little sound in the room, as if they were ready to inform your body of someone's arrival or, as was the case now, to hear the zip of his trousers being quickly undone.

"Are you sure?" You felt his warm breath next to your ears, as if he were telling you a well-kept secret.

"I'm sure." You retorted, ready to submit to one of the cardinal sins. Although, you would have much preferred that he took you home, for comfort, at least.

You felt his long, hot member between your thighs, with a long sigh of your own. He was already hard as a rock, and you wet as the ocean, for a flash of a second you wondered if this was his intention all along and if he had noticed you as soon as you stepped into that bar and then, a little heat growing in your crotch made you forget about this useless questioning.

You tried not to be too blatant, but as his pelvic thrusts got more profound and faster, you couldn't stop a few moans from escaping your lips.

"Fuck...a body like that.." He commented, using two of his fingers to push the fabric of the neckline of your dress and expose one of your breasts to the air.

"Zeke..." You moaned languidly as he continued his back and forth.

"What? You don't agree maybe? Look at you." He questioned, though his question was mostly rhetorical at this point because yes, indeed, you had noticed what a disadvantageous position you were in. "Poor girl... so desperate, I almost feel sorry for you, you know"

Then he stopped for a moment and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you down from the sink where your feet did not touch the floor. He turned you, a little violently, and pressed your belly against the surface of the sink, allowing him to have a full view of everything below, which, as you could imagine, he was most interested in.

He kept his burning hands on your hips - you could feel it even through the lmere piece of tissue that separated your skin from his - to help his pelvis move even harder, which released even more little moans from you, trying as hard as you could to muffle them with the palm of your hand, though it was more than futile.

"I'm almost there...Fuck you feel amazing..." he groaned in a hoarse voice, his movements becoming more and more tired but still rough, as if he wanted to get it over with quickly.

With all the alcohol you'd ingested -which you weren't really used to doing anymore- your envy was even bigger than usual but, strangely, your pleasure wasmore distant, as if each movement was taking you further away from the orgasm. But you didn't give up, your lower body was still on fire, as if insatiable, never satiated - although the fingers he placed on your clitoris helped a little with that -

With a final grunt from him and a long moan from you, your mutual pleasure finally came to an end. And suddenly all your senses came back to you; you felt his hips pressed against you, his hands roaming over your half-dressed body, the surface of the washbasin which was no longer really cold thanks to your own warmth, the air conditioning of the toilet which didn't even have a window and finally, the dimmed lights of the room.

He withdrew from you after a few seconds -or maybe a few minutes, you didn't even know anymore-, removed the soiled condom he had put on beforehand and wrapped it in paper before throwing it precautiously in the trash. Returning to you a moment later, he pulled up the black lace lingerie that had been left on one of your calves and pulled your dress back on, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder, in stark contrast to his rough actions earlier.

Once out of the toilet, under the innocent gaze of the other customers, he proposed to you, leaning against the wall near the exit, to meet him the next day, at an address he had given you, that of his flat. Should you? You had felt so good a few minutes before, but now that you had regained your senses, everything was confused. Sure he was charismatic, quite funny and cultured but Reiner couldn't leave your consciousness so easily, you had been through so much with him, you couldn't leave him after just one night with another man.

But you accepted. You were not committed to anything, you had only given him your name; you would have the whole day to think quietly, away from the hustle and bustle of the bar and with less alcohol flowing through your veins.

So after a simple kiss on your cheek, he called you a taxi and even opened the door for you, wishing you a good night. The ride was short, you didn't even think about him for a second but only about Morpheus, who seemed to be screaming your name, your comfortable bed was the only thing you craved now.

***

Just a tiny bit of sunlight sticking out of the door, one hand on the handle and the other on your purse, a great gulp of air escaping from your lungs and finally, the guilt that took over your mind suddenly, once the door was open.

What the fuck had you done.

The blond boy with the marked facial features was there, lying on the couch, his body covered by one of your blankets and, in his sleeping hand, his phone still open on the messaging application where you could read your name. You turned on your phone, something you hadn't done all evening.

"Where are you? You're not home." Please come back home I have a surprise for you. "Hey?" "Please tell me that you're okay at least. "I love you." "Sorry"

You were confused, it had been a long time since he had stopped sending you such messages, words that seemed to indicate his attachment to you. So you turned on one of the lamps in the living room to get a better look, because the light from the television wasn't bright enough to illuminate the whole room.

A table covered with a red tablecloth with small decorative patterns, a large candle in the centre, which had once been lit by the dripping wax but was now out and cold, two plates and cutlery, one full and one half eaten, and to top it all off, your old friend the Guilt, who was just whispering maliciously in your ears.

"You're back..."

At the sound of the still sleeping little voice, your eyes suddenly widened and your body felt heavy now, as if your legs were going to give out under your weight. But you turned back to him, not looking at all. He looked tired and was dressed in his pyjamas, a simple white tank top with grey shorts.

"Oh hi." You replied simply, a little confused by the situation.

He walked towards you, with a shy smile on his face, like a child trying to get close to a wild animal that might run away at any moment.

"I wanted to... "He looked down at your outfit and his gaze shifted for a moment, as if he'd just realised you'd spent the night away from home and, as he knew you didn't really have any friends here, that you'd spent it out there alone. But he didn't say a word and continued, "I wanted to apologise. I've been a shit to you and I know that. I'm so sorry, I know you deserve better, but I promise I'll make it up to you."

You frowned and opened your mouth, letting fresh air enter between your lips. Reiner probably read the confused and shocked expression on your face, so he continued.

"I had so much on my mind right now, you know, I feel so bad. I would do anything for you..I..I don't know...I should have told you about it my love I'm sorry." You saw a tear escape from his right eye, almost reaching his rosy cheek before he wiped it away with his hand, "Maybe we could try again?" with his fragile fingers, he took you by the hand and looked you straight in the eyes. "Please, I love you so much."

You should have been happy. You should have jumped into his arms, told him that all was forgiven, promised him a bright future, put your lips against his. But you were as if frozen, like a criminal before the police, like a slow prey before its fast predator.

So you stood there, forcing a small smile that on the surface said 'all is well' but in reality depicted your unhappiness even more than the tears. He responded to your smile, wrapping his warm arms around you, as you had so dreamed of, as you would have loved this very morning.

You couldn't even think straight. Had he planned all this for you? That's why he didn't want to go out. And you had gone elsewhere, while all he could think about was you, all he could think about was making things right.

Lying. It was the only solution. You wouldn't see Zeke again tomorrow, you would forget him, this evening would be a distant memory, like a dream so realistic that you would almost forget that it had never happened.

Like the moon on an eclipse day, it had hidden the sun, almost making you forget its beauty and warmth, temporarily providing some comfort in the dark night that the luminous orb had caused when it suddenly left.

It was tears that lulled you that night, under the mocking eye of the moon.

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 4 years ago

Text

Glide (Miss Venable x reader)

a/n: hello :3 here we have another song fanfiction whoohoo- uhm Glide (by Lxandra) don't expect too much haha.. its angsty i guess lol :7 oh and its really long-

summary: I am really bad at this holy shit.. I guess its about the “"relationship” between you and Miss Venable (relationship is a weird word-)

warnings: alcohol, talking about depression and suicide (but nobody's actually depressed), notes of sex

google translate :’D

"So, Miss Y / L / N", Mister Langdon finally said as he stepped around the table to stand in front of you.

"After telling me about your homosexuality, I would like to know if you are currently in love?"

You narrowed your eyes at the man in front of you.

"What kind of stupid question is that? Is this the part where we braid each other's hair and talk about our high school crushes?"

"Answer. My. Question.", the Man growled.

"Okay okay," you muttered quickly. "Uhm, well let me think about it for a minute."

--------------------

It all started when Miss Venable heard you scream one night.

You had been at Outpost 3 for a few months at this point and in all that time you hadn't spoken a lot and spent the entire time in your room except for meals.

The others didn't know much about you. They knew, you were one of the youngest residents of the Outpost and that you had left your family behind. And of course they knew your name. But that was all.

You spent a lot of time thinking about your family. Your relationship with your parents wasn't ideal, but you still missed them. And if you had known a year ago where you were today, you would have done a few things differently. Celebrating Christmas with them one last time, vacationing with them, simply spending the time peacefully with them instead of arguing.

Usually you cried quietly to yourself, with your head buried under your pillow, hoping, that everyone would forget you existed, but crying wasn't enough tonight and after dinner you snuck into the kitchen to steal a bottle of the red wine, that you smuggled into your room afterwards.

It was now 1 a.m., the bottle was almost empty, and hours ago you had started tossing the items you had in your room. Your clothes were scattered on the floor, while you had tossed the boring books from the library against the wall. Your bed was a complete disaster and in all your anger you had torn the sheets. There were red wine stains on your pillows, which had almost slipped into the blazing fire of the fireplace after you tossed them off the bed.

And now all you could do was scream.

"Fuck you!" You shouted as you staggered in the room with the alcohol in one hand.

"Fuck you all! Fuck this apocalypse, fuck this outpost, fuck-"

"Miss Y / L / N" interrupted you a loud voice behind you and made you turn around.

Miss Venable was standing in the doorway in front of the locked door, staring at you in confusion.

"Ever heard of knocking?" You grumbled and hid the bottle behind your back.

"I knocked," Miss Venable hissed, her gaze wandering angrily over your chaos.

"And if you hadn't screamed so loud, you would probably have heard it. What the fuck do you think of making such a noise here at night? Stealing alcohol as well?"

"I uh- caught," you muttered as you put the bottle on the round table in front of you.

"Do you know what's really funny? We don't have anything to eat, but there is no end of alcohol. Whoever came up with that must be pretty stupid."

"It was my idea. I am in charge here, in case you forgot."

"Oh right," you sighed and slapped your forehead with the palm of your hand.

"Shit, well, i'm sorry, but what was your name again?"

"You forgot my name?" Asked Miss Venable sharply with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah," you muttered before collapsing onto your messy bed.

"But I know it was something weird."

Miss Venable glared at you, which of course you couldn't see because you were buried with your face in your blanket.

"Hopefully you realize this will be punished," she growled.

"Oh suck my dick", you grumbled. "You enjoy punishing others, don't you? You are a little psychopath"

You laughed softly into your blanket and noticed how you became more and more sleepy. You almost fell asleep if Miss Venable hadn't tapped her stick loudly on the floor.

"You will start cleaning up here immediately, otherwise it will be the last night you spend in this outpost."

"Oh shut up. You are totally mean to me," you moaned and pouted at the angry woman.

"Why are everyone always so mean to me? I haven't done anything wrong."

You got up on shaky legs to walk past her to the door, but you tripped and fell against Miss Venable.

"Wow," you mumbled as you stared into her brown eyes with your glassy ones and grabbed hold of her hips.

"I may not know your name, but I know, that you are really pretty"

"What the fuck is wrong withyou ?! "

Wilhemina pushed you away from her so that you stumbled backwards and landed on the floor.

You stared out at her with hurt eyes as tears welled up in your eyes.

"I didn't do anything," you yelled at Miss Venable, who was still leaning on her stick in front of you.

"It's not my fault, that you're beautiful. Be happy, others are ugly."

"That's enough," growled Miss Venable as she took a step towards you and grabbed your arm to pull you up.

"You're going to bed now."

"I'll do nothing," you mumbled and tried to pull yourself out of her grip, but you were way too drunk to use enough strength and she could push you like a doll on the bed.

You laughed again.

"Guess what, my bed is big enough for both of us, isn't that funny?"

You looked up at her playfully, or at least you tried.

"You beautiful woman. We-"

"Your behavior is disgusting," she interrupted as she leaned over to grab your chin. Immediately you fell silent.

"And my name is Miss Venable."

She looked down at you dangerously and you saw fire in her eyes when you started laughing out loud.

"Haha Miss Venable, I told you it was something weird," you shouted before you started screaming out loud.

"Miss Venable is beautiful whohoo. Can you all hear me? Miss Venable is beautiful. She-"

"What the hell", Miss Venable cut you off again and took her hand from your jaw to put it on your mouth.

"Are you going to be quiet at last?"

"M'sorry," you hummed against her hand and Miss Venable could see from the wrinkles around your eyes, that you were grinning under her hand.

"I want you to go to sleep now and clean up the chaos here tomorrow, do you understand me?" She asked in a sharp voice. But you just glared at her and wanted to bite her hand when she repeated her question.

"Do you understand me?" She barked louder and this time you nodded quickly.

"Good," she said happily as she took her hand from your mouth and straightened up again.

"Fuck you," you mumbled quietly and watched unhappily as the woman went to the sofa across from the fireplace and sat on it.

"Can't you just go?" You moaned as she leaned her cane against the edge of the sofa.

"Oh I'll go," she replied while staring into the fire.

"When you fell asleep."

You groan in annoyance.

"Is that supposed to be a joke?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"Oh come on," you sighed and pulled your blanket over your head so she couldn't see you.

It was actually your plan to wait for her to go away, but at some point (who knows how much time had passed) you actually fell asleep.

Living my life in a bubble

Sometimes reality's too much for me

(I trip and fall into a dream)

Your love it gets me into trouble

Sometimes your gravity's too much for me

(It gets me weak in the knees)

------------

A week had passed and not much had happened. The next morning you woke up alone and with a big hangover and barely remembering what had happened the previous evening. Miss Venable had forced you to clean up the mess in your room after she had punished you for stealing the alcohol and as attractive as this woman was, she seemed genuinely angry about what had happened, even though it was actually nothing special. At least that's what you thought, but you couldn't remember either.

The world had ended and her problem was, that you had stolen a bottle of wine and ravaged your room. You wondered how fucked up her life must have been before the apocalypse, if that bothered her. And she wasn't the only one you wondered about.

The other residents of the outpost were all disgusting.

"Why do we have to eat this shit?"

"When are we getting out of here?"

"Why is life so unfair and let me be here with you idiots?"

You hate those ungrateful assholes. Everyone was dead and their only problem was, that they were still alive.

Other people deserved it so much more and the fact that mankind's only hope was in these conceited, stupid assholes seemed like a joke.

When you lay in bed that day and stared lost at the ceiling, you had lost all reference to reality. You didn't know what day it was or what month you were in. You also didn't know whether the last meal you ate was lunch or dinner, although a glance at the clock would have been enough. But you got tired of staring at the clock and watching the second hand, hoping something would happen.

Nothing changed anyway. And all you felt was that big feeling of loneliness that completely filled you. You were a very emotional person and all you wanted was someone who was normal. But everybody in this outpost was a huge disappointment. Conceited assholes, intimidated Grays and Miss Venable, who enjoyed punishing people.

Probably you would have started talking to yourself, but thank god you weren't there yet.

Sometimes you thought, it might be easier, if you opened up to others. But your body had become like a prison and you kept every thought trapped deep inside you because it did not match those of the others. Stupid assholes.

And while you continued to sink into your self-pity, you would probably have fallen asleep, if you hadn't been bothered by the sudden knock on your door.

"Fuck off," you moaned while staring angrily at the door, but the person standing in front of it only knocked one more time.

Asshole, you thought before reluctantly climbing out of bed to open your door.

"I said you should f- Oh Miss Venable," you stared at the woman in front of you.

"Are you here to punish me again for something pointless? If so, I can assure you it won't be necessary .. The wounds from last time still hurt, if you care."

Miss Venable screwed up her eyes.

"Well, Miss Y / L / N, actually I don't care, but if it still hurts, you seem to have learned your lesson," she replied coldly and you just snorted in annoyance.

"What do you want from me?"

"You are obviously depressed-" she started and you interrupted her immediately.

"What is that shit supposed to mean? I'm not depressed, I'm just sad. And since when have you been interested in how I'm doing?"

You glared at her with narrowed eyes, but her face still had the same deadly serious expression.

"You've been sad for a long time, don't you think?"

"I- uh".

You looked at her confused.

"All my friends are dead, it's only logical that I feel that way .. I find it rather questionable, that I'm the only one here, who feels that way."

"So?" Miss Venable raised an eyebrow, which made you even more insecure.

"I don't really care how you feel either. I just don't feel like wiping your blood off should you decide to kill yourself."

"Suicide isn't always bloody," you muttered.

"And because we don't have any doctors here-"

"By the way, that's the stupidest thing of all. You know, we have a hairstylist, but no doctors, you also notice that it doesn't make any sense, right?" You interrupted her and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

And again Miss Venable ignored your words and finished her sentence, which you had interrupted.

"..I thought that would help too."

Your eyes widened when you saw what she was pulling out from behind her back and immediately you started laughing.

"Are you serious? First you punish me brutally for stealing a bottle of red wine and now you come to give me one?" You laughed and stared down at the bottle she was holding out to you.

"What's worse is, that you think alcohol is replacing therapeutic treatment. That's pretty sad to be honest, Miss Venable."

Wilhemina narrowed her eyes.

"It's not sad, I just prefer red wine stains instead of stains from your blood," she growled.

"You can't possibly be serious," you mumbled and suddenly had to grin.

"You enjoyed punishing me, right? And now you're coming, because you need a reason to do it again."

"Oh come on," Miss Venable rolled her eyes.

"Take the bottle or don't take it, it's just an offer."

You were still staring at her in amazement. What was wrong with her that she thought this action would solve your problems? Another proof of how fucked up everything was and that the only person you could count on was yourself.

"Uhm, well thank you, Miss Venable," you stuttered and reached for the bottle.

"If you come over every evening and bring me a bottle, your diagnosis may work and I will have very different problems, than my sadness."

"Not funny," muttered Miss Venable, her lips pressed together.

"Well, good evening, Miss Y / N."

She turned around and started to leave and you could only stare after her in confusion. Evening?

Then you actually had dinner earlier, even though you could have sworn it was only lunch.

"Maybe you want to join me-?" You asked suddenly and were just as surprised by this question as Miss Venable, who turned to you.

"What?"

"I don't think getting drunk on my own would be fun," you added, stepping nervously from one foot to the other.

"You did it a week ago," replied Miss Venable and in the torchlight you could see the lines of confusion on her face.

"But I never said it was fun," you smiled crookedly as your grip tightened on the neck of the bottle.

"And I think it would be nicer to do that, in the presence of another person. Especially since you've already seen me drunk."

You looked at Miss Venable expectantly, although you did not know exactly what you were doing. It was probably just your desperate attempt to get someone's attention, simply because everyone, who has ever cared about you was dead. And you knew Miss Venable might not be the best choice. But while the others complained aloud about their suffering and argued about who was worse off, Miss Venable didn't show such feelings and kept her thoughts to herself. A circumstance with which you could somehow identify.

"Okay," Miss Venable finally muttered, surprising you one more time that day.

"Well, great," you said before stepping out the door frame to go back to your room. You sat on the other end of the sofa, across from where she sat a week ago. In your hand there was still the bottle of red wine and for whatever reason you were ashamed of this situation. Miss Venable brought you alcohol because she thought, you could use it to manage your sadness, or depression (as she called it). And if she had actually meant well, which was actually questionable with her, then you had to make a pretty pathetic impression on others.

"You cleaned up the mess," you heard Miss Venable's voice behind you, but it was more of a determination than an acknowledgment.

"And I just noticed that we have no glasses at all".

Your shoulders sagged at her words and for a moment you were afraid she would leave. But you heard her close the door behind her before she went to the sofa and sat down on the exact same place, that she had been sitting on a week ago.

You watched the woman confused, leaning her cane against the sofa.

Her gaze lifted to you and she stared at you as expectantly as you looked at her confused.

"What are you waiting for? Go into the kitchen and get glasses," Miss Venable uttered.

You blinked in surprise.

"I- I didn't know that was a request," you muttered before jumping up from the sofa to run from your room into the kitchen.

When you ran back to your room 5 minutes later with two wine glasses, Miss Venable was still sitting on the ugly fabric sofa just as she had done a few minutes earlier. And somehow there was something aesthetic about it.

Personally, you thought it was ridiculous, that everyone had to adapt to the Victorian style, just because she wanted to. But it was perfect for Miss Venable. As if it was made for it. Her red hair, which she always pinned up so strictly, then her almost black eyes and the lipstick. Also her pale skin and her cane. Even her strict personality perfectly matched the style of clothing.

"Do you want to stay in the door frame and stare at me, or are you finally coming now," Wilhemina hissed suddenly without moving even an inch and immediately a slight blush rose in your face.

"M'sorry," you muttered and quickly closed the door before going back to the sofa. After you sat down, you put the glasses in front of you on the table, where the wine bottle was now.

"I was just wondering," you explained as you poured the wine into your glasses.

"Why the Victorian style of all things?"

"Why not? It looks good," replied Miss Venable, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Well," you began before turning to give her her glass.

"The world is ending and you make us wear 10kg dresses, because you think it looks good?"

"Any better idea?" Miss Venable asked back, putting the glass to her lips.

"Uhm I, i don't know," you stuttered and watched Miss Venable as she drank her wine.

"Don't we have to be prepared somehow or something like that?"

You heard Miss Venable laugh quietly into her glass.

"Prepared?" She repeated with a small grin and put her glass back on the table.

"On what? For the aliens to come and get us out of here?"

You shrugged your shoulders.

"I don't know," you mumbled before you put your glass to your lips to take a sip of the bitter liquid and while you were drinking you could feel her gaze digging into your skin.

"By the way, I also find it very questionable what kind of people live in this outpost," you added, setting your Glas next to hers on the table.

Wilhemina let out a laugh. It was one of those laughs that you couldn't tell whether it was meant honestly or sarcastically.

"I'm not surprised you say that," she muttered.

"Is my dislike of the others that obvious?" you asked confused.

"I don't know if obviously this is the right word .. But what I do know, is that you always look disgusted when you see them, so I'm assuming you don't like them and to be honest, I like them neither.

Your confusion turned to laughter.

"Well," you said.

"With you it is obvious that you don't like any of them."

"These people are just as competent as they were poor. They are only here because of their money," she said disapprovingly.

You sighed thoughtfully.

"It's kind of sad, that money was the way in here. Scientists would have been so much more valuable. I'm only here because my grandfather had the money."

"What did you do before the apocalypse?" She asked you and you were surprised by this honest question.

"I went to college to study history," you replied when your gaze wandered into the fire.

"So I can judge that the Victorian style wasn't the most practical choice."

You heard Miss Venable snort in annoyance and you couldn't help but grin.

"And what did you do before the apocalypse?" You asked, turning your gaze back to her. Miss Venable seemed as surprised by your question as you were by hers.

"It's a little tricky," she began. "Basically, I built human robots."

"Robots?"

"Robots."

For a moment you stared at her in amazement. Miss Venable had averted her gaze from you and directed it to the wine glass in front of her.

"M'sorry, but if you've built human robots, why are you letting real people, the Grays, work for us? Wouldn't robots have been revolutionary in an apocalypse?"

Unlike you, Miss Venable seemed totally unaffected by this.

You watched as the redhead reached for her wine glass and took another sip of the blood red liquid.

"You are asking too many questions for my taste, Miss Y / L / N," said Miss Venable softly, putting her glass back on the table. And even though she kept her voice low, you could hear her indirect threat.

"To be honest, I'm amazed, that I'm the only one asking questions," you replied, trying to make eye contact with the woman next to you again, but Miss Venable's gaze was tied to the blazing fire in the fireplace and you could see a dark glint in their eyes.

"You shouldn't get involved in things that are none of your business," she said suddenly in a monotonous voice. "All over the world there are survivors and it is not your job to question my system, nobody has the right to do so. You are just one stupid survivor of many, nothing more"

You and I, we just glide

Through the night

We just drive, we get by

We just glide

----------------------

"Oh c'mon," you moaned and ran your tousled hair.

"God must hate me".

You stood on shaky legs from the library floor, that you fell on after stumbling into the room. You brushed the dirt off your skirt and realized with gritted teeth, that it was ruined.

"Seems like someone is having a bad day," you suddenly heard a voice say and immediately your mood worsened.

You straighten up again to meet Miss Venable's eyes. The woman sat on the right of the two leather sofas and with one hand clutched her cane, which was propped on the floor.

"Fuck you", you hissed before you let yourself fall on the sofa across from her.

"Oh, someone is having a very bad day," added Miss Venable, and you didn't have to look at her to see, that she was amused by your behavior,

"Yes, my day sucks and guess what, it's all your fault," you growled and glared angrily at her stick.

"When I got up this morning and wanted to leave my room, I got stuck in the door with my blouse and the whole sleeve was torn. Did you also notice, how much you sweat in these clothes? It's really hard to go at the toilet with these clothes .. I'm sorry, but what the hell was your idea, when you decided to give us a Victorian dress code? Did you have to make our life after the apocalypse even harder ? "

You pressed angrily your lips together and screwed up your eyes.

"You are the only person who complains about it," said Miss Venable and sounded not quite as amused as a minute before. You let out a dry laugh.

"The others are too scared of you, to tell you that," you said bitterly.

"Besides, what the hell are you doing here?"

You tore your gaze away from her stick to look directly into her dark eyes.

"Why shouldn't I be here?"

"Because you're never here and you didn't look like someone who'd like to hang out with Mr. Gallant or Coco."

"Well, neither Mr. Gallant nor Miss St. Pierre Vanderbilt are here right now, right? And besides, I could ask you the same thing", Miss Venable replied indifferently and somehow she was right. It was also a rarity to see you in the library as you actually spent most of the time in your room.

"I suppose my great sadness is over now .. or as you called it 'depression'. I'm more in the mood right now, that I don't care and I am angry at everything and now you are my victim. Your lipstick is smeared by the way", you sighed, although that was actually a lie, her lipstick was perfect as always. But in fact her eyes widened slightly and you couldn't help but enjoy this view.

"You're lying," hissed Miss Venable and you had to grin.

"Maybe".

You shrugged your shoulders.

"Maybe you'd better go and see, or you risk the others seeing you ruined makeup."

It was obvious that Miss Venable was a perfectionist woman and she wasn't going to let her position of power be challenged over a smeared lipstick. On the other hand, you were an extremely bad liar and Miss Venable wasn't stupid.

"You're lying," she repeated, only with her lips pressed together, giving you the sense of achievement you wanted.

"Mhh Miss Venable," you hummed as your eyes found her stick again.

"This cane .. when I saw you for the first time, I wondered if it was just a symbol of power or if you really needed it-"

"..And then you saw me walk with it," added Miss Venable with a bitter tone in her voice.

"Oh no," you quickly shook your head.

"It wasn't your walk that gave me the confirmation that you really need the stick. It could never be your walk, you walk so majestically with that stupid thing, that even people, who don't really need a cane and only use it as an accessory would look handicapped next to you."

It was probably a rather desperate attempt to put the whole thing in a compliment and Miss Venable did not answer your words either, but you could see in the glow of the fire how her pale skin turned a light red shade and that was enough for you.

"It was your grip to be honest," you continued.

Miss Venable frowned.

"My grip?"

"Yes," you nodded and started playing with the fabric of your skirt.

"Your fingers are always clenched so tightly around the handle, as if you wanted it to break through. As if you were trying to strangle it or something like that, i dont know."

The furrow on Wilhemina's forehead only got a little wider with your words.

"You seem to spend a lot of time watching what my hands are doing," she mumbled and this time it was you, who blushed.

"It was just an observation, that I made on the side," you stammered quickly when you realized, that from one moment to the next the conversation had taken a completely wrong direction. Miss Venable did not answer again and you did not have the courage to look her face again and so the next few seconds were filled with an embarrassing silence, although you could imagine that Miss Venable was enjoying your discomfort.

"May I take a look at your cane-?" You finally asked to break the silence.

"You want to take a look at my cane?" Repeated Miss Venable, surprised with raised eyebrows.

"Only if it's okay," you said quickly.

"You are the first person, who asks me that".

Miss Venable looked thoughtfully down at her cane, which was still in her hand.

"As I said, the others are too scared of you-"

"The others don't care," Miss Venable interrupted, and you didn't know if she was sad about it or if she didn't care. But we're talking about Wilhemina Venable, she probably didn't care.

The red-haired woman sighed before holding out her stick to you.

You grinned and tried to grab the staff, but before your fingers could touch the wood, Miss Venable pulled it back again.

"How can I be sure, that you won't break it up and use it to make firewood?", She asked you and you looked at her in horror.

"I would probably be the last person to do that," you said indignantly.

"On the contrary, I think you would be the only person in this outpost who would dare to."

Miss Venable held out her stick to you again and this time she let you reach for it.

You immediately noticed how light the wood was in your hand as you carefully ran your fingers over the stick.

"What kind of wood is that?" You asked quietly without looking up from her walker.

"I guess it was blackthorn".

Your fingers moved on to the handle of the stick, which was probably the most interesting thing. A metal handle in the shape of a raven skull served as a support for the hand.

"Doesn't that hurt?".

You lifted your gaze back to Miss Venable, who obviously didn't understand what to do with your question.

"Well, if I had to support myself with all my weight on this skull, it would hurt," you added and Wilhemina just shrugged her shoulders.

"Uhm, it's a beautiful cane," you muttered, handing it back to her.

"May I ask why you need it?"

"I don't know what this should have gotten to do with you," replied Miss Venable, not sounding as nice as before. If you could call it "nice".

"Okay okay, taboo subject, I got it," you said quickly, desperately searching your head for anything to keep the conversation going.

"Do you actually enjoy it? To have control over everyone here? And know that, that almost everyone is afraid of you?", You finally asked and leaned back against the sofa.

"You asked me that a few weeks ago, when you were drunk," remarked Miss Venable, looking down at her gloved fingers, which were wrapped around her cane again.

"Really?" You asked confused.

"More or less. It was more of an accusation."

"An accusation?"

Miss Venable hummed in agreement.

"I told you, that you would be punished for your behavior and you said I would enjoy it."

"I understand," you mumbled, still staring hard at her face.

"What else happened that evening?"

A smug smile danced on Wilhemina's lips and she took a moment to consider your question.

"Well, you made fun of my name," she finally began as she drummed her fingers on the skull-like handle of her stick.

"And then you said, that I was pretty and that I should be happy about it, because other people are ugly."

Your eyes froze as her words entered your brain.

Wrong turn. Wrong turn.

"Uhm .. You know, when I'm drunk I tend to perceive things a lot more intensely than they actually are and then I exaggerate occasionally," you tried desperately to get yourself out of this situation, but Miss Venable just let out a loud laugh and you realized, that you had failed miserably. You cleared your throat briefly and sat up straight again.

"You haven't answered my question yet," you said, trying to change the subject again.

"I wanted to know, if you enjoy all of this."

"Do I enjoy it if you don't obey my rules? No, I don't enjoy that, why should I?" Miss Venable said and again had that indifferent sound in her voice. Of course you knew that she had bypassed your question and that was enough to prove, that she enjoyed her monarchy in Outpost 3.

"You said earlier, that you had got over your grief. That's good to hear," said Miss Venable, and this time she was the one who changed the subject.

"I thought you didn't care what I felt".

You smiled contentedly and cocked your head. Somehow you liked this game of mutual debunking.

"I don't care either, I just wanted to be polite."

Your smile widened when you saw her fingers clench a little tighter around her stick.

"Miss Venable and polite, I don't think this is a well-working combination," you teased her and in the glow of the fire you could see her roll her eyes.

"You were a lot less tiring, when you were crying in your room all day," she muttered disapprovingly.

Why should it be such a struggle

When it means so much to you and me?

(I trip and fall into a dream)

Built like a ship in a bottle

Gotta handle you so delicately

------------------

I don't know what we got

But I know what I want

The silence is killing me softly

What. The. Fuck.

When you arrived at the Outpost a few months ago, you couldn't even have imagined in your deepest dreams, that you would ever end up in this situation.

You lay on your back, still staring at the ceiling with wide eyes as you tried to stabilize your breathing. Only now did you notice, that you had your arms wrapped around your chest and that your fingernails were digging painfully into the flesh of your shoulder. Your body lay rigid in her bed and you couldn't move an inch. You desperately tried to put the things that had happened in the right order.

Was it a stupid idea to go in Miss Venable's Bedroom? Yes, definitely. In retrospect, you didn't even know what exactly you wanted there. And actually you should have disappeared, after you saw that Wilhemina hadn't even been there. But no, of course your curious ass had to inspect her entire room.

And by the time Miss Venable came out of her bathroom in her pajamas, you had already started counting in your head how many punches Miss Mead was going to give you as punishment. You had definitely crossed the line.

But it turned out very differently than expected. Miss Venable had been angry anyway, very angry, but her anger was not expressed in words. The woman had pressed you against the wall and before you could do anything about it, her hand had slipped under your skirt, between your legs and Miss Venable had broken her own rule.

Of course you could have pushed her away, but it felt so right. You wanted so badly for someone to pay you attention and Miss Venable had kind of given you just that, when she pressed you against the wall and fucked you senselessly.

The whole thing was just so emotionless. You hadn't been able to look at her. You were ashamed of every sound you made, and if Miss Venable hadn't put her hand over your mouth, everyone in the Outpost would probably have heard you scream.

Which wouldn't have been so practical, because this man had come here a few days ago and you knew he was interviewing all the residents for the sanctuary and it wouldn't have been very beneficial for you if he'd caught you, breaking you down Venables rules. Regardless of the fact, that she had broken her rule herself.

Miss Venable hadn't said a single word about what had happened a few minutes ago, as if she had absolutely no need to justify herself.

She hadn't even looked at you when she took her hands off you and wiped them with a kleenex.

"You can sleep here tonight," she had muttered.

"It would be noticeable if you left my room now."

And now you lay next to her in bed and tried to understand all of this. Your dress was messy on the floor and all you had on was your underwear. After your fingers relaxed, you had pulled the blanket, that she wordlessly gave you over you and clung desperately to the fabric.

You had calmed down and could now hear her breathing next to you. The fact, that she was just lying next to you and probably sleeping was disturbing. At least, she could have apologized, right? Although, that didn't make sense either, because you obviously enjoyed what had happened.

You carefully turned your head towards her and saw, that her back was turned to you. And you wondered if she was really sleeping or just pretending. Miss Venable had become your most private contact in the outpost and you didn't really know what that actually meant.

You wanted so badly to touch her, but you didn't know if you had the right to do so. Only now did you notice the scars on her back, that shone through the light nightgown. Add to that the snake-like curve of her spine and suddenly you understood why she needed her stick.

"You have scoliosis," you said your thoughts out loud and you heard her hold her breath.

"Congratulations," she hummed miserably.

"You figured it die out."

You nervously began to chew your lower lip.

"Did I make anything wrong?" You asked quietly.

"Ask yourself how you got into this situation, then you will know."

"I- do you want me to go?", Your voice sounded sadder than you actually wanted.

When Miss Venable didn't answer, you felt tears welling up in your eyes as the feeling of fear grew inside you. You screwed it up. Probably the next evening you would end up like Stu as stew.

"No," Miss Venable suddenly whispered before turning to you. The red-haired woman had a blank expression on her face while she watched you cry.

She raised her hand as if to wipe the tears from your face, but she lowered it again and you had to do it yourself.

"M'sorry," you muttered.

"You're stupid if you apologize," Miss Venable replied bluntly.

"That was more than just unprofessional of me, I should have let you go and tomorrow you would have been punished."

You looked at her sadly.

"That's the only solution, isn't it? Punishment."

"I don't know exactly what you're getting at? It's actually quite simple. Those are my rules and whoever doesn't stick to them will be punished for it", Miss Venable looked at you unimpressed and you returned her gaze thoughtfully.

"What about Michael Langdon? Does he have to obey your rules too?" You finally asked.

"What does this mean?"

"Uhm well, I guess I've known you for 18 months now and the first time you seem scared."

Miss Venable raised her eyebrows.

"You don't know anything about me. I'm not even remotely an emotional chaos as you are."

Emotional chaos. Okay she had a point. You blinked a few times to force the tears, that were still glistening in your eyes back down.

"I don't know if emotional chaos is the right word," you muttered.

"You should think less about your stupid feelings," Miss Venable sighed, turning away from you again.

"They've only got you in trouble so far if you ask me."

You pressed your lips together and had to suppress an angry comment, that would only confirm her accusation. Your eyes stared at her back again. The red curls of her long hair had slipped behind her shoulders and were now curling on her back. You would have loved to stretch out your hand to touch it. You would have loved to curl up in her arms to feel safe for the first time in over a year. You wanted to kiss her. Or at least hold her hand. Anything. Just a little bit of their affection would have been enough and you would have been happy. It probably all sounds kind of selfish, because she fucked you a few minutes ago. The whole thing just wasn't particularly loving. You felt like a disgusting animal and now you wanted her to show you, you weren't. Miss Venable was only a few inches away from you and all you had to do was hold out your hand and you would feel her warmth. But while it was actually only a few centimeters, you realized, that there were worlds between you and this woman and that she was probably never further away from you than at this moment.

You and I, we just glide

Through the night

We just drive, we get by

We just glide

Maybe we're just fooling in foolish imagination

Got no destination in sight

You and I, we get by

We just glide

-------------------------

Wilhemina Venable had a great talent at pretending everything was fine.

As if nothing happened. Nothing had changed in the days after that night.

Since Michael Langdon was at the Outpost, she avoided private contact with you and the fact, that you had shared a bed didn't change that. In addition, she was just as disgusting to you in front of the others as always and that was nothing new either. And while Wilhemina no longer seemed to care about what had happened between you two, at the same time it almost killed you.

You actually expected, that she would want to talk to you about it again, but nothing had happened and that made you angry. Miss Venable would always deny it, but she was the only one who cared about you. And you appreciated her weird way of paying attention to you so much.

The only problem was, you couldn't even begin to imagine, what was going on in her head. While you were acting like a lovesick teenager, the only thing you saw of her was her deadly serious face.

Oh and Miss Venable was right, you were a fucking emotional mess. Since you woke up the next morning in her empty bed, you have cried a lot again and spent a lot of time in your room, but this time Miss Venable would probably not come to offer you alcohol as medication.

It was the afternoon of any day and you were sitting on the floor, leaning against your bed. In one hand you held a pair of scissors, while in the other you held the skirt of your dress. You were still not used to wearing long skirts after so many months and you still kept poking around at yourself, when walking through the outpost, so you decided to cut your skirts short. Of course you knew, that Wilhemina would probably kill you, if she saw you, breaking her sacred dress code, but fuck Wilhemina. At least you could finally walk properly again.

The triple knock on your door made you look up from your work and you got up to go to the door. You probably should have known it was Miss Venable who knocked. Who else has been interested in you, in the past few months?

"We need to talk," said the red-haired woman firmly, without looking at you.

You just nodded and stepped out of the door frame to make room for her.

For a brief moment you were afraid, that Miss Venable would get angry about the dress, that was lying shortened on the floor next to the scissors, but she just ignored it and stood across from you.

"Well, Miss Y / L / N, I'm just here to ugh- "

Miss Venable was interrupted by you when you, you stupid idiot, reached for her face to angrily press your lips against hers. The kiss only lasted a second in total, because Miss Venable immediately pushed you away from her and the next thing you felt was her hand lashing angrily against your right cheek. A horrified gasp escaped your lips and you looked at Wilhemina in horror as you rubbed your cheek.

"If you do that again, I'll kill you," the redhead growled, glaring at you angrily.

You looked at her hurt and felt tears start to sting in your eyes.

"M'sorry," you muttered.

"Oh of course you are," hissed Miss Venable.

"What the hell were you thinking of?"

"I just- I don't know," you stuttered desperately.

"I think I love you".

Miss Venable's eyes narrowed and she looked like she was going to punch you again.

"This is not love, this is despair, you stupid thing."

"Despair?" You breathed in horror.

"How else would you describe your behavior?" She spat and angrily started knocking her stick on the floor.

"I mean, look at you. You are a total mess. Either you cry in your room all day or you are angry at everything and everyone. You are the only person, who ruins her clothes. You are the one which most often breaks my rules, just because you are too unable to deal with your feelings. You know, everyone can handle what happened, except you, because you are so damn selfish. But you have to wake up.. Do you think, that was what I wanted, when you cried into my bed a few days ago? Oh no. And I know that, was my fault too. You know, everything what I want, is that you obey my rules, but that seems to be too much for your incompetent ass ", Wilhemina scolded and angrily knocked her stick on the floor.

"And now you come and say you love me."

She shook her head.

"As I said, this is not love, this is despair. And I don't know what kind of answer you were hoping for, from me, but let me be clear: In my opinion, of all the residents of the Outpost, you are the most pathetic and I hate you, I really do and you're sick if you even thought it would be different. "

You stared at her in shock. The feeling, that rose in you at that moment was indescribable. A mixture of disgust, shame and anger. But also the feeling of betrayal. And you couldn't say who these feelings were for, for you or for Wilhemina.

"Y-you hate me?" You stuttered, wiping the back of your hand over your cheek to remove your tears.

"I hate everyone in this outpost, that includes you too," hissed Miss Venable.

You shook your head in disbelief.

"I don't believe you," you whispered.

"I still believe, that you are scared and that is why you act like that."

"Mister Langdon will interview you tomorrow," said Miss Venable without responding to your comment.

"If you tell him anything about what happened a few days ago, I promise you will wish you were never born. With your condition, you probably won't be in the sanctuary anyway, but I will don't let me spoil this opportunity from you. Do you understand me? "

You shook your head.

"I don't understand what your problem is suddenly ... I asked you that evening if I should go and you said no."

"The whole thing was a mistake, nothing more", Miss Venable growled quietly and stepped past you to go to your door.

"I hate you and you hate me, that's all that's between us, you understand?"

You wanted to say something, but you decided not to, it didn't make any sense anyway.

"I understand," you said softly.

"Good," replied Miss Venable before turning and walking out of your room.

You stared after her sadly. Of course you didn't understand why she was suddenly so mad at you, but how could you? Miss Venable had wanted to end whatever was between you, so that she would not feel guilty if you were to be murdered by her in a few days. She had never meant to offend you, but she had to make it clear to herself, that she didn't love you. She just couldn't love you.

Show me freedom

'Cause love don't cost a thing

Give me freedom

Yeah don't just let me leave

--------------------

"Miss Y / L / N", Mister Langdon barked and slapped the table with the palm of his hand. You winced and looked disturbed into the blond man's eyes.

"I asked you something".

He leaned down to you and his face was only a few inches from yours.

"Are you in love?"

You swallowed and blinked a few times, before you whispered softly:

"I am not."

The man leaned back and looked at you thoughtfully for a few seconds.

"Well, Miss Y / L / N," he finally sighed.

"You can go."

Without looking at the man again, you got up to run out of the room. You tripped and if you hadn't held onto the wall next to the door, you would have fallen. For a moment you leaned against the wall with your eyes closed and took a deep breath.

This man was disgusting and a little too intimate for your taste, no wonder, that no one liked him.

You opened your eyes again and realized, that Miss Venable was staring down at you as she leaned against the railing.

Your eyes were lost in hers, her almost black eyes in which the light of the torches is always reflected. You wanted to say something, but you were afraid, that she would leave and you didn't want that. Miss Venable had put on her indifferent expression as always and, as always, you did not know what was going on inside the woman.

Your lips formed a mute "fuck you" when you saw her turn away from you to move. And the faint tapping of her cane proved to you, that she was indeed leaving and you knew that she would not come back.

Maybe we're just fooling in foolish imagination

Got no destination in sight

You and I, we get by

We just glide

#wilhemina venable x reader #wilhemina venable imagine #wilhemina venable #sarah paulson x reader #sarah paulson imagine #american horror story

104 notes · View notes

moral-turpitudes · 4 years ago

Text

House Calls:

A/N: I’m in no way a doctor or even a med student, I just used google and went off my own experiences with fevers...so yeah lol. I’m screaming at how cute Soft!Tommy is though like I think I’m dead. RIP to me and my ovaries.

Trigger Warnings: Angst, FLUFF. Some flirty shit at the end.

Word Count: 1,640

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Female Reader

Request: “Could you perhaps write a one-shot Tommy x reader and the reader would work as a doctor and one day she would be called to treat John or Charlie (doesn’t matter) and she would be able to cure them and Thomas would be very grateful for it. I think that might be very cute but if you don’t like the idea it’s okay!! 😃😃”

Requested by: Anon

Summary: Y/N is summoned to Thomas Shelby’s house to help cure his ailing son, not knowing she’d catch the eye of the usually cold-hearted gang leader.

Part 1 | Part 2

Around 5am a rough, rattling cough came from the depths of Charlie’s lungs, startling him awake and causing him to cry between ragged breaths. His frail screaming pierced the air, sending Tommy shooting out of bed, grabbing his gun from his nightstand, and darting straight to his sons room. He panicked internally, while flinging the door open for any signs of danger, only to be met with Charlies cries and outstretched hands.

Tommy took a deep breath and sighed, scooping him up and taking a seat in the rocking chair near his crib. As he fought sleep, he looked at the pale blue ceiling of his sons room, listening to Charlie’s ragged breaths. With a furrowed brow, he lifted him up, bringing his forehead to his lips, confirming his suspicions of a fever. The poor thing was flushed red in the face, a light sheen of sweat developing on his skin as his hot tears soaked his face.

“Shhh...it’s okay. Daddy’s got ya. We’re going to call a doctor okay?” He said, trying to gently coo to calm Charlie down. He was whining and fussy and showing no signs of the fever breaking anytime soon.

Tommy gently got up with him and brought him to his bedroom, sitting him on what would’ve been Grace’s side of the bed, and lied down next to him whilst he dialed the doctors office.

A nice voice on the end of the line answered. “This is Dr. Y/L/N with the Birmingham Women and Children’s Clinic. How may I help you?” She asked.

“Hello Dr. Y/L/N, this is Thomas Shelby. I’m calling about my son. He has a cough, ragged breathing, and a fever that seems really high. Are you able to make house calls?” He asked, watching as Charlie played with a horse-shaped toy.

“Yes of course Mr. Shelby. I’ll just need an address and I’ll be over in about 30 minutes.” She said.

Tommy told her the address and any other details she needed to know. And before he could hang up, her voice sounded again, calming Tommy as the sun rose through the window.

“Don’t worry Mr. Shelby, I’ll have him better in no time. But just for a precaution, get a cold rag and put it on the back of his neck to help with the fever.”

“Alright, I will. Thank you.” He said before hanging up.

“Well Charlie, looks like we’re going to have a visitor alright? She’s going to take good care of ya.” He said as Charlie now laid against his chest, whining quietly. Tommy gently put him on the pillow and went to get a cloth, running it under cold water, and putting it over the back of his neck.

“There ya go, my sweet boy.” He said kissing the top of his head. He whined a bit as the cold cloth touched his neck, protesting the feeling as Tommy watched sleepily over him. It was around 5:30 in the morning when they finally heard the doorbell and a swift knock on the door.

Tommy picked up Charlie, and went to the door allowing the nurse to step in.

“Thank you for coming so early in the morning. I’m surprised anyone’s working this early.” He said, his voice still a bit groggy.

“Of course! I was working the graveyard shift so I’m always the doctor on call at this time. Now this must be Charlie...Hello sweetheart. My name is Y/N.” You said, smiling and in a much more lively tone than Tommy.

“Charlie do you want to show Y/N to your room?” He asked. Charlie looked up at you and smiled slightly, his rosy cheeks alarming you a bit.

“Lead the way you two, I’ll be right behind ya.” You said, nervously walking down the hall and up the stairs, reveling at the grandiosity of the house. You knew the Shelby’s after caring for many of the families wives and children, but this was the first time you’ve encountered the infamous Thomas Shelby. His current state was much less alarming than you thought it was going to be. You expected a ruthless leader answering the door, with a razor-blade cap on and wielding a gun, but instead he was a blue-eyed slim faced man, with a loose fitting shirt and pants on, and an adorable baby boy living seemingly alone in this huge mansion.

“Here we are, where would you like me to put him?” He asked you. You looked around the blue-toned room, your eyes catching a portrait of a blonde haired, beautiful woman in a frame near his crib that you assumed to be his late mother, as it was similar to the one in the stairwell.

“His crib is fine.” You said, sitting your work bag down and putting your gloves on and putting your stethoscope around your neck.

“If you don’t mind I’d like to stay, he doesn’t like when I leave...” He said, taking a seat in the rocking chair.

“That’s completely fine, Mr. Shelby. I’ll try to make this quick so you don’t fall asleep.” You said smirking. He smiled and watched on as you did your work.

“Alright I’m going to take this and listen to your heart okay? Big breaths for me, like this.” You said, breathing in a big breath and blowing out.

He did his best to copy you and sat surprisingly still as the stethoscope gently made its way around his chest and back.

“His heart sounds great, but his breathing is a bit rough. His lungs sound like they’re inflamed a little bit.” You said looking over at Tommy who was eyeing you intently, causing you to blush a bit as he nodded for you to continue.

“Okay sweetie let’s take your temperature shall we?” You say before reaching in your bag to get a thermometer.

“Can you say “Ahh” for me Charlie?” You asked, smiling at him. He opened his mouth just enough for you to examine his throat before raising his arm up to place the thermometer under his arm.

“We’re going to play a game okay? You’re going to hold that under your arm and I’m going to hold this under mine until it’s ready alright?” You said, grabbing a pencil from your bag and placing it under yours, getting him to copy you. You were able to get a reading not too long after, taking the pencil from under your arm and clapping as you removed the thermometer from under his.

“Now I know you won’t like me for a moment, but I’m going to shine this at your eyes for a second okay? Look at me.” You said guiding his eyes with your finger as you examined them.

“Great job sweetheart!” You said leaning down to him and giving him a high-five. You turned to Tommy who was smiling at your all’s little interaction.

“It’s 101.5...that’s a bit high especially for a toddler, and so from the look and sound of it, I’m going to say he has acute bronchitis.”

His face turned a bit serious as he took in what you said. Your smile faded slightly as you took in his change of emotion.

“Will you be able to prescribe his anything?” He asked, concern lacing his face and his voice.

“Of course Mr. Shelby. I’m going to prescribe him some cough syrup that will help with the cough and everything, and I recommend cold compresses every few hours to help with the fever or a cold bath if you find it increasing.” You said writing out a note for the prescription.

“Alright, thank you again. I hate to keep you away from your work, but I’d probably be panicking right now if it weren't for you Dr. Y/L/N.”

“It’s no problem at all, especially when my patients are as well behaved as little Charlie.” You said, smiling at him and then at Tommy. You felt his gaze on you as you gathered your things and as you made your way to the door.

“Oh and Mr. Shelby, you can call me Y/N. I’d be happy to help you again if need be.”

“Thank you Y/N. And you can call me Tommy. I know it may not be the right time, but I’d love to pay repay ya in some way, not just with money...” He said lingering by the door to Charlie’s room. You stopped and looked at him, taking a moment to think about what he said.

“What kind of repayment were you thinking Mr. Sh-I mean Tommy?” You asked, catching yourself calling him that out of habit.

“I was thinking maybe going for a drink sometime, when you’re free of course.” He said. You blushed and took a long look at him.

“I’d love that actually...I’ll ring you this Friday when I’m free.” You said.

“Then it’s a date.” He said smiling slightly before turning back to Charlie.

You walked out, hearing the birds singing as you drove off and back to the remaining hours of your long shift, excitedly looking forward to the end of the week.

Later that morning, Thomas called the shop, telling Polly all that went on and decided to take the day off to better help monitor him, but before she could say anything else he spoke.

“Oh and cancel anything for Friday of this week.” He said.

“Why...? Thomas is it serious?” She asked concerned.

“No Poll. The lovely doctor prescribed him some medicine. I’m...actually going to be meeting with her that day...”

“My god you’ve asked out the doctor?” She asked.

“I did. But I know she’s not like the others Poll, you’ll see.” He said before hanging up.

After Grace’s death, he didn’t know when he’d want to take up dating again, but dating takes risks, and risks were something that Thomas Shelby could never shy away from.

Tag List:

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years ago

Note

I know this is controversial but do you have any johnlock non-con or (preferably) dub-con for the twisted minds out there? If it's roleplay even better. If you don't do this sort of stuff just ignore me.

Hey Nonny!

Ahh, I usually don’t so I don’t have a lot of personal recs (more… it just happened in the fic and it’s a side issue), but I’ll give you the ones I have bookmarked as well as the ones I have on my MFL list, if only to bloat this list a bit more, LOL.

Cheers, and as always, if anyone has some recs, please let us know!

NON-CONSENT / DUBIOUS CONSENT

See also Alexx’s Lists:

John bottoms, Dub-con - Johniarty, Johnlock, Johncroft

Alpha!John, Omega!Sherlock & the Dub-con sex

Dubcon Johnlock

Drugged Non-con sex

Johnlock non-con and dub-con sex

And my alternate list:��Consent and Relationship Negotiations

Upon Waking by joolabee (E, 3,901 w., 1 Ch. || Mild Dub Con, Magical Realism, Angst, Somnophilia) – It sets on slow: John can only be awake while Sherlock sleeps, and vice versa. Their lives are codependent, but never meeting. Like a set of scales.

A Certain Kind of Hunger by MapleleafCameo (E, 5,881 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Creatures || Incubus!John, Worried Sherlock, Tail Penetration, Somnophilia, PWP, Threats of Non-Con) – A concerned Sherlock watches as John seems to be rapidly losing weight. What he discovers is that John really isn't normal. And he is very, very hungry. The tail was the real surprise.

Caves in the Mountains Are Seldom Unoccupied by starrysummernights & TheMadKatter13 (E, 7,925 w., 1 Ch. || Were-Creatures, Werebear John, Pseudo Bestiality, Rimming, Dub Con, Rough Sex, Come Inflation / Eating, Size Kink, PWP, Bratty Sherlock, Rutting) – “This isn’t something to play at, Sherlock,” he snapped. “If it doesn’t work out- what you’re asking of me- we can’t shrug and say 'oh well, at least we tried'. If we do this… I could seriously hurt you. Do you understand? I could lose control. I could… I could kill you.”

On the Losing Side by missselene (E, 8,210 w., 1 Ch. || Anal / Oral, First Kiss / Time, Angst, Misunderstandings, Mild Dub Con / Drunk John) – After Mary's death, John moves back into Baker Street, but is still upset at the loss of his wife and child. Eventually, he and Sherlock stumble into a sort of relationship, but it's more physical than anything and they don't talk about it. They especially don't talk during sex. If they are going to have sex, Sherlock notices the signs hours beforehand, and he prepares carefully. The lights are off, they're under the covers, he prepares himself using lots of lube so he can make it feel as much like a woman as he can, and he doesn't let himself make any noise so that, if John wishes, he can pretend that he's still with Mary.

Better Than One by Innerspace (E, 14,760 w. 1 Ch. || Threesome, Self-cest / Clone Sex, First Time, BJ’s, Power Play, Slight Dub-Con) – Sherlock creates a clone and discovers things about himself and John he never imagined. John is just along for the ride, so to speak.

Kintsugi by distantstarlight (E, 14,772 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Regret / Remorse, Loneliness, Separation, Drug Use, Healing, Protective John, Sad Sherlock, Dev. Rel., Complicated Relationships, Love, Angst With Happy Ending, Sherlock is Called Freak, John’s Penance, Voyeurism, Doctor/Caretaker John, Guilty John, Detox, Fingering, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Slight Non-Con Turns Enthusiastic Consent, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes becomes estranged from the man he had once considered his best friend after John lets him down horribly in public. It seems that the world's only consulting detective will be on his own once again...or will he?

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 stories || Asexual Sherlock / Straight John, Est. Rel, Queerplatonic Relationship, Romance, Cuddling, Fluff, Platonic Romance, Domestics, Rape/Non-Con) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Scars by SilentAuror (E, 60,494 w., 5 Ch. || Rape / Non-Con / Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Dub Con Elements, Homophobia, Angst With Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice) – S3 rewrite, showing Mary’s manipulation of John as he realizes his love for Sherlock. Mary is not having it.

A Cure For Boredom by emmagrant01 (E, 81,665 w., 8 Ch. || Dirty Talk, Threesomes, Light Dom/Sub, Sex Club, Experiments, Anal, Mildly Dubious Consent) – They’d never talked about sex in the year they’d known each other. Well, that wasn’t quite correct: Sherlock had never said a word about sex; John had bemoaned his personal dearth of it on many occasions.

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 83,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides Omegaverse AU || Adventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he's kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

Ten Days by Engazed (E, 137,208 w., 31 Ch. || Rape/Non-Con, Post-TRF, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture, Case Fic) – Sherlock Holmes has been dead for forty months, and John is at last beginning to live his life again. But just when he believes he might be happy, his world crashes back down around him. John is named a missing person. Someone is pointing DI Lestrade in the wrong direction. And as the days pass, his situation only grows more dire. It seems like the disappearance of his best friend is the only thing that can bring Sherlock Holmes back from the dead. Part 1 of The Fallen

A Fold in the Universe by darkest_bird (E, 152,869 w., 26 Ch. || Omegaverse / Prime Universe Crossover || OmegaJohn / AlphaSherlock, First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Angst, H/C, Dub Con, Humour) – Alpha Sherlock and Omega John are in a relationship. Prime Sherlock and Prime John are not. So what happens when a freak fold in the universe switches one John for the other?

The Gilded Cage by BeautifulFiction (E, 326,887 w., 31 Ch. || Omegaverse || Omega Sherlock / Alpha John, Friends to Lovers, Dub Con, Reproductive Rights) – In a world where Omegas are the property of the elite Alphas, locked away and treasured by those wealthy enough to buy them, John never questioned his flatmate's secondary gender. Sherlock Holmes was an Alpha through-and through. Wasn't he? A chance discovery turns the world on its head, and John is left grappling to come to terms with Sherlock's past as events conspire to threaten their future.

MARKED FOR LATER

Three drinks or was it five by iriswallpaper (M, 1,455 w., 1 Ch. || Mild Dub Con / Drunk Sex, Morning After, First Time, Awkwardness / Awkward Sex, Idiots in Love, Avoiding The Talk™/Miscommunication, Fluff, Happy Ending) – Sherlock wakes up beside John, naked in his bed, after a night of getting hammered together on very good Scotch. Trying to spare John embarrassment, Sherlock makes as much noise as possible to indirectly wake John, all the while dreading the Very Important Talk he knows John will want to have.

Scars by Mildredandbobbin (M, 2,516 w., 2 Ch. || Post-TSoT/Pre-HLV, Rape/Non-Con, Hurt/Comfort, Rape Aftermath, Past Torture, Pre-Slash) – On his honeymoon, John starts receiving anonymous texts with increasingly disturbing images. He discovers how much he doesn't know about Sherlock's time away. Part 1 of the Scars series

No Means No by lindor1306 (M, 3,606 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Underage / Non Con / Rape / Child Abuse, Dub Con, Drunkenness) – When Sherlock attends a party with John, he finds himself in a horribly familiar situation, and learns the meaning of the word 'No'.

Tumblr Mini-fics #7: Triskadekaphilia Fic Fest - The Johnlock Fics by berlynn_wohl (E, 3,791 w., 16 Ch. || First Time, Alley Sex, Dub. Con., Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, ABO Dynamics, Mpreg, Omega Sherlock, Sub Sherlock, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Chastity Device, Drugged Sherlock, Milking, Omega John, Experiments, Nudity, Yoga) – In March 2013, I celebrated 1300 Tumblr followers with my Triskadekaphilia Fic Fest. Followers requested a pairing and a kink, and I wrote a fill for each that was 13 sentences long, with one sentence that was 13 words long, and with one word that was 13 letters long. These are the resulting Johnlock fics. Part 7 of the Tumblr Mini-Fics series

If You Go Out in the Woods Today by Sexxica (E, 5,247 w., 1 Ch. || Fawnlock, Mythical Beings/Creatures, Teen John, Virgin John, Anal Sex / Fingering, Mildly Dub. Con., Bottom John, Top Sherlock, Outdoor Sex, Blow Jobs) – You're sure of a big surprise. 18 year old John Watson certainly didn't expect to stumble into the realm of a forest god, let alone one demanding payment in order to let him and his friend Mike leave.

Company by lookupkate (E, 6,004 w., 2 Ch. || BDSM Club AU || Dom John, Sub Sherlock, Soft Dom John, Mentions of Previous Bad D/S Relationship, Past Non-Con, Humiliation, Happy Ending) – Sherlock goes under cover to suss out an embezzler at a BDSM club. His past is marred by an ex-boyfriend who verbally abused him under the guise of a D/s relationship. What he thinks he needs is a little different than what he needs. Luckily he's placed with someone who can see how fragile he is, Dom John Watson. Once the case is over he realises how much he's going to miss the man. Damn.

Let's go home by thewallflower07 (M, 6,333 w., 2 Ch. || Post-S3, POV Lestrade, Cuddling, Snuggling, Protective John, Hurt/Comfort, Hospital, Restraint, Psychological/Physical Torture, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Non-Con Touching, Non-Con Drug Use, Kidnapping, Fever Dream/Hallucinations, Villain Mary) – Lestrade is driving John to the hospital and helps him bring a heavily injured Sherlock home. In a flashback Mary had kidnapped Sherlock and played her cruel tricks on him. Sherlock is walking through a weird London where nothing is logical and he sees a John Watson he no longer recognizes.

Splat! by Vulgarweed (E, 6,618 w., 1 Ch. || Historical Appalachian 1970′s AU || Dom / Sub, Gunplay, Knifeplay, “Non-Con” Roleplay, Switchlock, Anal, Rimming, Bondage, Hunting Kink, Rough Sex, Object Insertion, Dirty Talk, Comeplay) – Sherlock decides he does want to go hunting with John after all. But not for deer. Part 2 of the The Bone Fiddle series

Pulse by SoftTae (E, 6,620 w., 1 Ch. || Vampire AU || Vampire John, Human Sherlock, Dark John, Dub Con, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Blood Drinking, Anal, Light Bondage, Violent Sex, Biting, Vampire Sex, Angst, Preditor/Prey Dynamic) – This was written for a friend who asked for vampire John, and human Sherlock.

Black Cat by CatieBrie (E, 7,158 w., 1 Ch. || Psychological Horror, Supernatural Elements, Disturbing Themes, Body Horror, Sex, Major Consent Issues / Possible Rape, MCD, Intent Magic, Ambiguity) – He’s watching Sherlock crawl up his body, doesn’t have to see to know he has a blade tucked away somewhere, knows his body will react no matter what. “Do you know what this is, John?” Sherlock holds up a doll made of rudimentary cloth stuffed with god knows what. It’s wearing a crude rendition of John’s favorite striped shirt, denim pants and the hair is too fine and blonde-shocked-grey to be anything else but his.John tries to answer, has no voice, shakes his head. “It’s a poppet.” Sherlock explains, pushes the arms together and John’s limbs react, snapping to his sides and remaining there even as he tries desperately to struggle free.

Perception by orphan_account (M, 7,821 w., 1 Ch. || Rape/Non-Con) – John is perceptive sometimes.

A Chemical Defect Found (On the Losing Side Remix) by AreteArt (M, 7,978 w., 1 Ch. || First Time / Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Mildly Dubious Consent, Angst, Fluff, Misunderstandings, Pining, Anal / Oral Sex, Frottage) – A remix of missselene's "On the Losing Side." After Mary's death, John moves back into Baker Street. He and Sherlock stumble into a relationship, or something of that sort. Sherlock's rather giving when it comes to sex, but that doesn't mean he and John ever talk about it.

A Study in Asexuality by ladyxdarcy (M, 8,082 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Acephobia, Mentions of Rape/Corrective Rape Therapy, Past Suicidal Ideation, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Overdose, Past Mary/John, Emotional Sherlock, Insecure Sherlock, Vulnerable Sherlock, Est. Rel., Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff) – When Sherlock, asexual to his core, fears that John may grow bored of a sexless life, he decides to do whatever it takes to make John happy so he stays. Good thing John is already happy.

as if not spoken to in the act of love by coloredink (E, 8,288 w., 1 Ch. || Dubious Consent, Codependency, Angst, Drama, Consent Issues) – Sherlock endures the indignities, bodies squirming against one another, the sweat, the saliva, because of John's jam in the fridge and sour-breathed kisses in the morning.

Making History by SaraDobieBauer (M, 8,622 w., 6 Ch. || Vampire AU || Season 1, Vampire John, Dark John, Bondage, Dub Con, Virgin Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes lay unconscious and handcuffed to John’s bed. John had been waiting for this day ever since he’d first met the consulting detective. He'd been waiting for centuries really.

Slave by skadi_zlata (E, 15,654 w., 1 Ch. || Slavery AU || Rape/Non-Con, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Dub Con, Abuse, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In the gambling dens of a vaguely AU London, John Watson has won and lost fortunes in a night. One evening he winds up playing with entirely the wrong crowd, the kind of people that make him feel he’ll be lucky to get out of there with his life – let alone anything else. But the announced prize is somewhat unexpected. It’s an abused slave with dark curly hair and mesmerizing blue-grey eyes.

Kingdoms Rise by colbee (E, 15,668 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, References to Canon, Graphic Descriptions of Crime Scenes, Mentions of Rape) – "The name is Sherlock Holmes, and I broke in."

The Wench Is Dead by Chryse (E, 15,915 w., 1 Ch. || Underage, Extreme Dub Con, Flashback, Manipulative Relationship) – “You thought…not just you, Molly too. Probably everyone assumed it. You thought that bad things happened because I used drugs. That I made terrible choices and got myself hurt. And you weren’t wrong, not exactly. You just got it backwards.” What Sherlock put in the box. Part 2 of the Another Country series

Evidence of Human Life by thesardine (E, 16,906 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, Mental Health Issues, Rough Sex, Dubious Consent) – Sherlock's sanity deteriorates while he and John are stranded on a deserted island.

Broken Wings and Cigarettes by solisandluna (NC-17, 20,298 w., 10 Ch. || Violence, Abuse, Rape, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Sherlock Whump, Dark Story) – Sherlock has been missing for two years. So when he is found in a cellar, tortured and raped, how will John help him recover? Can he get over the shock and guilt of seeing his seeing his friend so abused? And can Sherlock be fixed?

A Question of Intent by Mildredandbobbin (E, 22,129 w., 6 Ch. || Omegaverse || Dub Con / Consent Issues, Misunderstandings, Knotting, First Time, Switching, Mating Cycles, Top/Bottom O!Sherlock, Top/Bottom A!John) – Sherlock was on the bed, naked, writhing, tangled in the sheets, on all fours and apparently in the full throes of a Heat. So very not good, the non-lizard part of John's brain was saying -- the enlightened 21st Century, reconstructed Alpha part, the part that supported Omega contra-heat, equality, pro-choice, the Omega rape legislation and general gender liberation. The part that knew Sherlock did not, obviously did not, want to copulate with him and certainly did not want to bond.

Consent by KeelieThompson1 (M, 26,466 w., 11 Ch. || OMC, Rape/Non-Con, Rape Recovery, Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Developing Relationship, Triggers) – Sherlock has a difficult past regarding sex which John discovers when he tries to change their relationship.

Dubious by mslilylashes (M, 29,907 w., 14 Ch. || Rape/Non-Con, Dub. Con, Abusive Relationships, Victor Trevor) – John says every time Sherlock says 'stop' he will do so immediately. Sherlock knows that there is always a point that most men say they can't stop. The idea that John might be so much more than what Sherlock has come to expect from other men intrigues him, so he begins an experiment in consent. John begins to realise he is being tested, but he doesn't know why. (Does he ever when it comes to Sherlock?) All he knows is that something happened in Sherlock's past to make him think that what he wants or doesn't want doesn't matter in the bedroom. Then the nightmares start. Part 1 of the Dubious series

Lessons in Astronomy Series by CaitlinFairchild (E, 31,164 w. across 3 stories || Angst, Post S3, Grief/Mourning, Mildly DubCon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Physical Abuse, Oral/Anal Sex, Unrequited Love, Pining, Sibling Incest (No Actual Holmescest), Masturbation, Accidental Voyeurism, Drug Addiction, Romance, Dev. Rel., Trust Issues, Happy Ending) – In a different time, a more naive time, Sherlock thought he was the star and John the satellite, circling him in worshipful orbit. He knows now that was never true. John was always the sun, bright and fierce, and Sherlock was the pale, cold moon, his only heat coming from the light he reflected. And then his sun went into supernova. Moriarty said he would burn him and he has, and John is the fire, his rage and grief incinerating Sherlock, burning the heart out of him in the end, turning him into nothing but cinder and ash. And now the supernova is collapsing, a black hole born where there was once warmth and heat and love, and Sherlock is being pulled down, down past the event horizon, into the endless frozen void where nothing can ever escape.

Unsettled by AxeMeAboutAxinomancy (E, 33,879 w., 10 Ch. || HIs Dark Materials AU || Daemons, Dark Themes, Non-Con) – Sherlock's dæmon hadn't settled. Once John realised that, so much made sense. Though so much else didn't, because it practically wasn't possible. Part 1 of the The Utmost Edge of Hazard series

The Half-Life of Love by Calais_Reno (E, 38,751 w., 12 Ch. || Dev. Rel. Angst with Happy Ending, Obsessive / Possessive Sherlock, Different First Meeting, Manipulative Mycroft, Drug Withdrawal, Rehabilitation, Pining, Mild Dub Con, Abusive Parents) – “Maybe we met too soon or at the wrong time, under the wrong circumstances,” said John. Sherlock shrugged. “Hypothesis Contrary to Fact: none of these 'what ifs' happened, so it’s all pointless speculation. We did, in fact, meet at a specific time and place.”

Renegades by augustbird (E, 39,405 w., 12 Ch. || TRF AU, Dubious Consent, Torture, Drug Use) – Sherlock Holmes takes down Moriarty’s syndicate. He also takes John Watson with him. AU of The Reichenbach Fall.

Shadow by MapleleafCameo (M, 40,845 w., 11 Ch. || Rape/Non-Con, Supernatural Elements, Non-Con Kissing, Non-Con Touching, Dub Con, Implied Slavery, BAMF Molly, Angst, Creepy) – Invaders from an alternate universe, another dimension, invaders called Shadows have humanity fighting for their own survival. John, captured by the Shadows, has more to fight for more than he originally thought. Eventual Johnlock.

Defrag by 7PercentSolution (T, 43,748 w., 21 Ch. || Graphics Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Angst, Drug Use, PTSD Sherlock, Memory Palace, Case Fic, Mental Health Issues) – Sherlock's hard-drive needs to be cleaned up; viruses detected, malware files deleted, memory freed up, order restored. Follows on chronologically from Musgrave Blaze, but there will be enough back story to stand alone if you haven't read that yet. An important Part of the Game Theory Series. Part 4 of the Game Theory series

Silence by halloa_what_is_this (T, 44,993 w., 13 Ch. || The Piano Fusion || Victorian Sherlock, Dub Con, Voyeurism, Permanent Mutilation, Johniarty, Mute John) – In 1850, John is a mute young man forced to marry to save his father from indebtedness. His sister as his interpreter and his piano to keep him company, he travels to London to live with his husband James Moriarty. Without John's consent, James sells the piano to his friend Sherlock Holmes, who only asks for lessons from John in return. The lessons turn into a power play between the two when Sherlock proposes a deal: John may earn his piano back one key at a time, certain conditions attached. Part 1 of the Aborted Wings series

Mind the Gap by orphan_account (E, 45,089 w., 6 Ch. || Victor Trevor, Dubious Consent, POV First Person Sherlock, Character Development, Friendship, Pining Sherlock, Fluff, Introspection, Parent Death, Vulnerable Sherlock, Doctor John, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Child Abuse, Implied Sexual Abuse, Domestic Abuse) – An introspective journey through the life and relationships of Sherlock Holmes. "I can hear the bones hum beneath pale and freckled skin, this sack that holds my form together. Bits and pieces that start at the bottom and end at the top, hiding the blood, muscle, fat. Cells, knit together, constantly in motion. They'll live and die, and replicate, until total equilibrium is met."

Vault by masterofall14 (M, 47,766 w., 23/31 Ch. || WiP || Loosely Inspired By Room, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Parentlock / Sherlock Has a Son, PTSD, Eventual Johnlock, Suicide Attempt, Pining John, Sherlock Loves John & Vice Versa, Big Brother Mycroft, Triggers, Creepy Magnussen, Happy Ending) – Jack lives in Room with his Pa, Sherlock. They share everything, except the secret that Jack isn't privy to... Room is in Appledore's vault. Magnussen and the woman his Pa calls the Wicked Witch visit when Jack sleeps and Jack can't explain where the bruising on his Pa's body comes from... But if they get out, how will they both cope after years of imprisonment? Even Sherlock, who can imagine nothing other than the four walls he has known for thirteen years...

The Night Is Darkest by missselene (E, 48,461 w., 8 Ch. || Post-TLD, Extremely Dub Con, S4 Rage Monster John, Insecure Sherlock, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Exploration, Healing, Self Care, Self Acceptance, Sexual Exploration, Casual Sex, Gentle Sex, Sherlock/OMC, Threesome with 2 OMCs, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Communication, Internalized Homophobia, Relationship Negotiation) – Sherlock Holmes would do anything for John Watson... and that includes letting John do whatever he wants to him. What would it take for Sherlock to stand up for himself and finally start taking care of his own needs?

Command Structure by 221b_hound (E, 49,034 w., 16 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post TRF / Not S3 Compliant, Dom/Sub Play, Dom John/Sub Sherlock, Oral/Anal, Anal Fingering, Frottage, Past Child Abuse, Anxiety Attacks, Captain Watson, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective John, Slow Build, PTSD Sherlock, Consensual, Past Dub Con, Rimming) – Sherlock Holmes returns from his hunt to destroy Moriarty’s network. He comes home to John, and at long last they start this thing between them that couldn’t begin while Moriarty threatened them. But Sherlock has returned fractured and suffering anxiety attacks. He thinks he needs discipline - the whip - to help him focus and be strong. But his problems are deeper and run back to a childhood of neglect. John Watson is prepared to be Sherlock’s Captain, but he’s a doctor too. His command style isn’t about pain and subjugation. It’s about care and responsibility: and those concepts go in both directions in Captain Watson’s command structure.

Brotherly Bargain by xenobia4 (E, 50,187+ w., 17/19 Ch. || WiP || Rape/Non-Con Elements, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Abuse, Torture, Blood and Gore, Fisting, Dismemberment, Non-Con Oral, Object Insertion, Watersports) – A violent drug cartel abducts Sherlock Holmes after two of their operations in the UK have been shutdown. They upload the videos of torture online, gaining the attention of both the British government and Mycroft.

Musgrave Blaze by 7PercentSolution (T, 64,527 w., 28 Ch. || Equestrian, Country House, Series One, Murder Mystery, Case Fic, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con) – Mixing ACD canon, Sherlock and John are drawn to the rolling hills of Gloucestershire to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a horse, the death of its trainer, and the theft of a three-day eventing trophy from Musgrave Hall. Multi-chapter case fic that brings back some old memories for both men.

Roommates are for little people by alexxphoenix42 (E, 69,042 w., 14 Ch. || Teen/Unilock || Forced to Share a Bed, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Fake Relationship, Sherlock is a Prick, Drinking, Inadvertent Drug Use, Family Wedding, Footballer John / Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Frottage, Slow Burn, Mild Dub Con, Cuddling While Sleeping, Slight Homophobia, Posh Boy, Dirty Dancing, Endearments, Nosy FAmily, Bathing Together, Mild Angst, UST/RST, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff) – John was looking forward to seeing his friends back at uni, but a new year brings new complications, not the least of which is a dorm room with only one bed, and a stroppy roommate with an utterly spectacular arse. God, John doesn't need the headache.

Sherlock's Bane by toggledog (E, 70,095 w., 19 Ch. || Post-TRF, Rape/Non-Con, Rape Recovery) – John's friend, DI Toll, is brought onto a case involving murder and the destruction of a Mozart bust. He starts sexually harassing Sherlock. Toll being such a likeable guy, this appears to go unnoticed by everyone. Sherlock, himself just wants to work on the case and not cause trouble for John. However, the harassment starts getting more and more obscene…

Next Right: Welcome to Westbound Rest Area 818 by elwinglyre (E, 73,618 w., 16 Ch. || American Unilock AU || Bunk Beds, Anonymous Sex, Homophobia, Closeted John, Roommates, Angst with Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Music, Rape/Non-Con, Hurt John, BAMF John) – Sherlock Holmes dreams of escape from his smothering family and space to breathe. Studying chemistry at the University of Michigan, he's almost far enough away to fill his lungs. Almost. While John Watson dreams of being a doctor, he also dreams of being with another man. John knows that with hard work and study, he can make the first a reality, but he's certain the second can never be. Until a secret encounter in the dark at Rest Area 818 changes everything. When Sherlock meets his new roommate, John Watson, he sees a man in the closet. Sherlock hides from no one. Except from his own family, a detective inspector who wants his evidence returned, and his secret encounter at Rest Area 818. Setting late 1970s, Michigan, USA. POV third person alternates between John Watson and Sherlock Holmes.

This Is Your Song by agirlsname (E, 79,990 w., 19 Ch. || Moulin Rouge Fusion || Prostitute Sherlock, Poet John, Acting, Singing, Dancing, Writing, Poetry, Musical, Song Fic, Heavy Angst, Unreliable Narrator, Sherlock is French, Love at First Sight, UST, First Kiss/Time, Frottage, Coming in Pants, Anal Sex, Switchlock, Clothed Sex, Crossdressing, Secret Relationship, Forbidden Love, Jealousy, Terminal Illnesses, Grief/Mourning, Breakup/Makeup Sex, Past Drug Use, Attempted Rape, Canon-Typical Violence)– When John Watson is invalided home from the army in 1895, he moves to Paris to rediscover his writing and find a new meaning in life. His old friend Stamford invites him into a group of artist friends, and suddenly John finds himself auditioning to write a show for the famous brothel across the street. There, he meets the most beautiful man he’s ever seen - Sherlock, the star of the Moulin Rouge. But Sherlock is already promised to the investor of the show, the rich Duke Moriarty.

Stranger at the Gate by bendingsignpost (E, 85,190 w., 11 Ch. || Vampire AU || Vampire Sherlock, John with a Sword, Hypnotism, Vampire Sex, Dub-Con, Lying Sherlock, Vampire Puberty) - As far as initiation rites go, kidnapping a human doctor from a defended town ought to seem extreme. When James Moriarty offers him the challenge, Sherlock never considers saying no.

A Study in Slavery by sweetinsane (M, 88,538+ w., 12/? Ch. || WIP || Dark / Slavery AU || ASiP, Angst, Domestic Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Slow Build, Dehumanization, Sexual Slavery, Child Abuse, Master/Slave Dynamics, Dark Content) – John has never owned a slave of his own, but after returning from Afghanistan is awarded one with his pension. A disobedient male slave with way too much troubling history, however, is not what he would have chosen himself.

Fade To Black by twistedthicket1 (M, 93,389 w., 29 Ch. || Split Personality Disorder, Action, Romance, Violence, Implied Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Fluff and Angst, Baskerville, Human Experimentation, PTSD, Implied Self Harm) – John Watson believes one day he'll just fade. That he'll drown in the black spaces of his mind, and that one day he will no longer exist. It's always been like this, the dark spots marking out moments in his life he can't remember. Where for just a moment he's someone else. Having a Dissociative identity disorder, he can't even be entirely sure he's really who he says he is. Then he meets Sherlock Holmes. A brilliant detective who when he looks at you can read your entire life story. John is immediately fascinated and afraid, half-wondering if maybe Sherlock can see the other personalities in him and half terrified of the thought of him finding out. Becoming his flatmate seems at once to be a wonderful and horrible idea. Yet as John's Blackouts become more and more severe and his other personalities begin to truly awaken and show themselves with Sherlock's help, the two soon discover that sometimes even the kindest person can harbour a demon best left untouched inside of them. Because not all of John's other personalities play nicely and some may be hiding secrets best left undisturbed...

A Waste of Breath by Chryse (E, 95,452 w., 25 Ch. || References to Drugs, Dubious Consent, First Time, Friendship / Love, Hurt / Comfort, Angst) – John had always assumed Sherlock was uninterested, untouchable, married to his work. He was wrong on all counts. But when Sherlock embarks on a relationship, John worries that he is in over his head.. .and this time he might be right.

We're All A Little Mad Here by angelblack3 (E, 98,019+ w. across 4 works || Series WiP || Dark AU, Obsessive Behaviour, Stockholm Syndrome, Torture, Kidnapping, Dark Sherlock, Abusive Relationship, Bondage, Aphrodisiacs, Rape/Non-Con, Painplay) – In this universe, Jim got a hold of Sherlock way before he ever met the ones that were meant to save him. Now, they're happy business partners. Though, according to Jim, Sherlock isn't nearly as happy as he could be. He should find someone like Jim found his dear pet Sebby. Sherlock is skeptical, until he finds an army doctor with a psychosomatic limp in a twisted sense of fate.

Riptide Lover by jinglebell (E, 114,090 w., 20 Ch. || Merfolk & Victorian AU || Mermaid Sherlock, Human John, BAMF John/Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Mild Gore, Dubious Interspecies Consent, Stockholm Syndrome, Dark Romance, Dubcon and Morality, Rough Sex, Abstract Mentions of Rape, Size Queen, Switchlock, Foot Fetish) – The year is 1866. When John becomes swept overboard, he never expects to encounter a living creature of myth. When the merman absconds with John, the lost sailor must use every tool at his disposal to convince Sherlock not to kill him. But it seems that killing John Watson is not what the deadly, beautiful creature has in mind at all...

Thirst by bittergreens (E, 122,257 w. || Post TGG, POV John, Angst, Pining John, UST/RST, Masturbation, PTSD, Sexual Fantasy, First Kiss/Time, Nightmares, Frottage, Friends to Lovers, BAMF John, Mildly Dub Con, Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, Rain Sex, Voice Kink/Porn, Loud Sex, Rimming, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Case Fic, Baths / Bath Sex, Mild Gore, Psychological Torture, Fluff, Slow Burn) – When John realizes he has feelings for Sherlock and decides he must keep those feelings secret at all costs, the resulting tension might bring Baker Street to the ground.

"Merry Christmas" I wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying "I love you" by starrysummernights (E, 135,132+ w., 30/31 Ch. || WIP || Post S4, Slow Burn, Mary is Not Nice, Christmas, Fluff, Smut, Angst, Parentlock, Past Torture / Rape) – John has moved back into 221B with his daughter Rosie after Mary was killed, but things are not exactly comfortable between him and Sherlock. After everything that has happened, they are trying to become friends again...and maybe something more. What better time than the Christmas season?! Takes place after TLD.

A Little Help from my Friends by Ttime42 (E, 140,776 w., 28 Ch. || BDSM AU || Switchlock, Fluff, Verbal Abuse, Bondage, Hospitalization, Military Kink, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Consensual, Punishment, Violence, Blood, Knives, Past Drug Use, Dub Con, Masturbation, Case Fic, PDA, Stalking, John’s Giant Junk, Aftercare, Kidnapping, Happy Ending) – In a world where everyone identifies as either a dominant or a submissive, Sherlock is having a rough time moving on from a bad relationship and has sworn off doms forever. John has recently returned to London from war and has a fortuitous run in with an old friend in a park. Sherlock and John's lives are changed forever because of that chance meeting, and they'll both find their way through life with a little help from their friends.

The Frost Is All Over by Chryse (E, 148,518 w., 21 Ch. || Pining Love, Implied / Referenced Rape / Non-Con, Period Typical Homophobia, Virginity, Teenlock, Major Illness, Implied / Referenced Child Abuse) - John was brave and clever and loyal, a commoner who longed for an exciting life. Sherlock was dashing and brilliant and passionate, an Earl’s son who longed to solve crimes. Being a Tale of Glorious Adventures, Love Letters, Treachery, Longing, Secret Identities, Deathbed Confessions, First Kisses, Daring Escapes, and True Love.

Failing Upward by elwinglyre (E, 204,847 w., 40 Ch. || Parallel Universes || Rape/Non-Con, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Magical Realism, Science Fiction, Supernatural Sex, Non-Con Unwanted Frottage, Memory Loss, First Time, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Johnn, Friends to Lovers, First Person POV John) – When John Watson, a young med student who supports himself as a florist-by-day and musician-by-night, finds he is heir to supernatural powers that others would kill to possess, John’s life transforms into a mixture of comedy and terror. As he fights to understand what’s real and what’s imagined, he travels from one alternate universe to another. Along the way he finds the key was there all along: his brilliant best friend, Sherlock Holmes, the man who becomes the touchstone for all that John is and ever will be. Set in current day cities and countryside of Michigan, this story blends romance, magical realism and science fiction with humor. Part 1 of the Failing Upward Universe series

A River Without Banks by Chryse (E, 203,286 w., 23 Ch. || Alternate Realities || Angst with Happy Ending, Depression, Suicide, Violence, Torture, Rape/Non-Con Elements, PTSD, Serial Killers, Virgin Sherlock) – "You love this, being Sherlock Holmes."He had once. When had it all gone so wrong?

The Jewel in the Tower by PoppyAlexander (E, 207,079 w., 39 Ch. || Dystopian AU, Violence, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Mild Dub Con, One World Government, Class Issues, Assassin John / Geisha Sherlock, Self Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Espionage, Miscommunication, Sexual Fantasy, Masturbation, Letters/Texting, Phone Sex, Infidelity, First Time, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Injury Recovery, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Scars, Misgendering, Happy Endings) – In a contemporary dystopia, Unity is peace – despite the fact unsanctioned information, illicit currency, and every sort of danger flows unchecked in the world's pleasure districts. John Watson, a weary hired gun, is assigned by the mysterious Mentor to investigate a subversive element lurking in the Icehouse, the world's most famous House of Repose. As accustomed as he is to dealing with the unexpected, John is nevertheless woefully unprepared to meet the gem of the Ice house, Xie, the world renowned "drashaskaya," the living work of art after which all other drashas are modeled. In sumptuous suites, amid trailing puddles of silk and fervent whispers in the night, John soon learns that nothing is as it seems in the floating world of London's pleasure district. (PUBLISHED AS “At Night in the Floating World”)

Conductivity Series by liriodendron (E, 207,367 w. across 7 works || TRF / Post TRF, ReunionCanon Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Romance, Sexual Tension, First Kiss/Time, Synesthesia, Power Dynamics, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Case Fic, Est. Rel., References to Drug Use, Homophobic Language, Religious Content, Intercrural Sex, Unrequited Love, Angst, References to Suicide, Injury, Anal, Dub. Con, BDSM, Suicidal Thoughts, Violent Sex, Suicide, Grief/Mourning, Break Up) – In which Sherlock Holmes locates his heart, John Watson learns what it's like to burn, and there is no darkness that cannot be made bright.

Deflowered - Director’s Cut by Lorelei_Lee (E, 328,535 w., 51 Ch. || Mafia / Mob AU || Rape/Non-Con, Dub-Con, Boss John/Rentboy Sherlock, Bottomlock, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous John, Prostate Milking, Sounding, Anal Beads/Plug, Anal Sex / Fingering, Spanking, Begging, Blow Jobs, Riding Crops, Begging, Romance, Desperation, Minor Character Death, Implied Self Harm, Violence) – It should have been strictly business. Being a Mafia boss with a sadistic sexual streak, John had long since realised that his playthings were in it for the money only. Being a masochistic rent boy, Sherlock seemed too good to be true. Little did they know…

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #non con #dub con #my fic recs #rape cw #Anonymous #long post #consent

112 notes · View notes

littlebigafterdark · 4 years ago

Note

I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?

the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)

This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!

oOo

context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder

so...

one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles

and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok

and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away

"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again

but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"

and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces

and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again

but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful

but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.

and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-

it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again

"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.

and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby

and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside

. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that

when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle

but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy

roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.

but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED

so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.

"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"

logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"

and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"

logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no

so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"

"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.

he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too

so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown

every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"

when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away

and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are

so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.

as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries

they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future

but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)

they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch

oOo

just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:

logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home

it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small

his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true

and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back

and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3

hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him

he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing

#mama logan #little big eating disorder #do not reblog #long post #asks #adorable undead queen #little big after dark concepts

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andsotheuniverseended · 3 years ago

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cephas my beloved

so i don't know if what you meant here was "answer all thirty of the dnd meme questions for cephas" but that is how i'm interpreting it so i'mma go ahead and put it under a cut

(also for those not in the know, Cephas (they/she/him/any pronoun you like) is my stone construct witch. yes those are both homebrew things I found online. i use this witch and just recently updated them to the 3.0 version and i'm very excited about it)

1. if one of their friends was jumping on a bed and asked your character to join them, would they?

Yes, absolutely, of course. The bed would then immediately break because Cephas is a couple tons of solid rock, but that's on their friends for not thinking it through. Or maybe that was the plan. Either way, Cephas is on board.

2. would your character carry around a tiny bath and body works hand sanitizer? if yes, would it have a specific scent?

I mean, Ceph does carry around smelling salts enchanted to smell like whatever would make someone feel better in the moment? Which is kind of the same thing? But anyways the real answer is Probably Not unless it was a gift, because Cephas has no sense of smell and has no need to sanitize.

3. does your character paint their nails? do they wait for them to dry fully afterwards?

Technically he doesn't have nails but Cephas will happily allow themselves to be painted over any part of their body, and will stay completely still until it's dry. I know because the party his done this to them before.

4. if you cut open your character’s heart and there was something inside, what would it be? why?

Hm. I mean. Literally speaking, no heart, you just find stone in there. Figuratively speaking... a jade earring. representative of their first steps towards freedom.

5. do/would your character carry lots of hair ties on their wrist?

Nah, not unless one of the other party members asked.

6. what parts of your character’s voice/manner of speaking are distinct, if any?

Hm. Mostly just that their voice is pretty rough and low. Otherwise I think they talk pretty normal??

7. what’s the first thing your character’s eyes are drawn to on a map?

New places. To all the parts of the world they haven't seen yet, and want to.

8. how did your character feel when they left home for the first time?

Okay I'm going to go with the definition of home that means Cephas has to feel like it's home, which would mean the place where they lived with their BFF Effie. And I think the first time they left there, with an intent to go out and adventure, they felt really excited, happy, and like they were finally doing what they were meant to be doing. They'd been feeling very restless up until that point, so it's kind of like scratching an itch. Very satisfying.

9. where does your character look when they’re the only one walking down a road?

All around. She likes to see everything and doesn't get particularly worried about other people or robbers or things like that, so there's a lot of being generally distracted by whatever scenery they're passing through. Sometimes he'll just stop and pretend to be a statue on the side of the road and people watch for a while, if there's time for it.

10. does your character have tattoos? were they alone the first time they got one?

Being made of stone, my darling Cephas can't get tattoos. If they had actual flesh I do think they'd wanna get some.

11. if a button came loose from your character’s shirt, would they make sure the replacement matched?

Cephas doesn't wear clothes, and if they did 'matching' would not be the thing they cared about, so for sure No.

12. how loudly do they cry?

Gods I feel like a lot of these answers are just "Cephas is a stone construct and therefore cannot/does not do the thing" but like Cephas is a stone construct and cannot cry. There have been a lot of times where they wished they could, but their body wasn't built for it. Typically if they're sad, they're quiet about it, reserved.

13. does your character like holding hands? do they do it often?

Yes! But he doesn't do it very often at all. Stone isn't comfortable for other people to hold, and they have to be careful not to hurt people when touching them, so it's generally more dangerous for whoever they're holding hands with than its worth.

14. is your character more likely to wear a necktie, a bowtie, or a bolo tie? (if any at all)

Again, no clothes. But I think Cephas would enjoy a good bolo tie.

15. have you ever said something as your character that stuck with you for a while after? what was it?

Oh lord. Uhhh... hm, well there was this one thing but it is very dependent on the context of the moment. Which is that they were talking with another character who was frustrated about not knowing things, and talking about how in order to be people you have to ask questions even if you don't get answers, you have to keep asking questions. And then they discovered something that was a step in a mystery they'd been trying to deal with and Cephas said "and sometimes you do get answers" and I don't know why but that one did stick with me.

16. what does getting flustered look like for your character?

Stuttering. Awkward hand movements. Maybe reverting to the old "I am but a simple construct with no consciousness" trick if they're really feeling out of sorts.

17. does your character have to glance at their hands to remember left and right?

Ha, no. Cephas knows what they're doing, unlike me.

18. does your character have stuffed animals? would they if they could? what kind?

Hm, no, xe doesn't. But I think they would if they ever settled down and stopped traveling. Even if Cephas can't really feel the softness, they would like it. And they'd be very careful with them too. As for the kind... I'm thinking those, like, huge round ones? Fuck there was a name for them. Squishables?? I think???

19. does your character walk or run down stairs?

Walk, typically. Running could damage things lol

20. if your character saw a turtle stuck on its back, would they flip it over?

Oh yes 100%. And also try and talk to the turtle and see if it needed any further assistance.

21. has your character ever climbed out of a window? would they do it again?

I don't have a moment in mind specifically, but there's no way Cephas hasn't, and they would absolutely do it again.

22. what’s your character’s ideal way to wake up? what usually wakes them up?

Cephas doesn't so much sleep as... go into Obedient Construct mode for four hours, which is to say they will obey any order given to them. Ideal way to wake up from that is in some weird/compromising position because it means his friends were messing with them and they love that. And they can't be woken up unnaturally, so its just that after Four Hours something in their head goes Ding and they're back.

23. what’s the pettiest thing your character’s ever done?

Dyed a nobleman's hair bright pink because he was kind of rude to them when they were pretending to be a normal construct.

24. what made your character the angriest they’ve ever been?

Cephas... doesn't really do anger, generally. But! There was a man who pretended to be a prophet of a god, and collected a small group of true believers. And then he took over a town, and made the townsfolk slaves. And that really got to Cephas, in a very personal way. (They did take care of the man and they still have mixed feelings about doing it.)

25. how does you character smile?

With great effort. Cephas wasn't built to emote, so any facial expressions are subtle and take a lot of concentration and effort to make happen. Over time they've gotten more practiced at this and can do it almost without thought, but it's still the smallest movements for a great amount of toil.

26. does your know the names of their constellations? how did they learn them?

I think, some of them? Cephas lived with her best friend's family for a long time and I think they would've learned some of them there. But then they also definitely made a game out of making up constellations and naming them whatever they wanted, so it's a toss up whether what they know is a real constellation or one they made up and then forgot they made up.

27. do/would your character draw or write on themself?

Oh yeah, for sure.

28. would your character race someone to the top of a tall tree for bragging rights?

Not for bragging rights, but absolutely yes Cephas would race someone. And they would lose because they are big and heavy and not made for climbing, but its more about the fun of it than the winning or the losing for them.

29. is there an artist whose style you associate with your character? (visual or otherwise; poets and musicians, etc. count)

Hmm... not really?? I don't really associate artists with my characters. My friend drew Cephas once, so I think that's the closest I'm gonna get to that. Maybe Delta Rae? I feel like Delta Rae has got those witchy vibes, and that makes me think Cephas.

30. how has your character’s first impressions of their party members changed since they met them? have they stayed the same?

Oh this is delightful because when Ceph first met the party, they were pretending to be a normal construct, so the DM was 'playing' them. Which meant I got to sit there and watch, and so I wrote down what Cephas was thinking. They only met the first three members of the party that day, but I literally have it written down that it was three "good first impressions" because one of them stole a book, another one turned invisible to draw a face on a trash can, and the third called Cephas 'interesting'. Overall impression? A group of messes who just went through something tough and are not dealing with it super well.

Current impression? A surprisingly competent group of messes who are working through some stuff, and very much don't like talking about their feelings. Also, I'm invested.

Seriously though it started out as Cephas thinking they seemed fun and wanting a distraction, and now Cephas is like actually really invested in all of them and their growth and wants to help them as much as they can.

#Cephas #dnd #this was. long. but also fun.#also anon u called cephas 'my beloved' and i was like Ah? did i send this ask to myself??#maybe i did maybe i willed it into existence #anyways i love Cephas they're weird and beautiful and love their party and they have to leave soon and i am sad #Universe Answers

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wedreamedlove · 5 years ago

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Bai Qi - Character Study

Archiving another post from Reddit. This one is more outdated...

This post was supposed to unleash my ode to Bai Qi, my one true love, onto the world though LOL.

Spoilers include up to Chapter 15. Plus calls, dates, and ASMR in CN server. Still using JP and CN as sources here because of Elex's translation issues.

I want to start this post off by saying that I disagree with Bai Qi's archetype being a "bad boy". If anything, he's just a lone wolf or maverick. Putting aside how there's another character that fits being a bad boy to a T, the common points of a bad boy archetype are:

exudes confidence, and allows his interests to take priority

moody and paradoxical, making him hard to understand

displays an attitude, has an edge, gives girls a vicious thrill

rebel with or without a cause

likely engages in dangerous hobbies

I don't know about you guys, but Bai Qi is REALLY simple. He has basically two goals in life: upholding (mostly conventional) justice and caring for the MC (who he has devoted his life to).

He's not rebellious for the sake of sticking it to the world, he just has his own views on how justice should be carried out (and it's still on the side of light; he's not a vigilante). Maybe his motorcycle is a dangerous hobby, except he always ensures MC is safe when riding with him. Honestly, this guy is so far from being a bad boy LOL.

Heck, even the other common trope of a bad boy having a painful past that is the reason behind their nasty attitude doesn't apply to Bai Qi because he confronts his painful past and gets over it (with the MC's help) before she even officially meets him.

CHIVALRY? CHAUVINIST?

First, let's tackle the big issue: the "sexist" things Bai Qi might say. It's an inescapable fact that this game is an Asian game and (given Elex's confusion over what to localize and how you can only change the base so much) this seeps through, so there are heavily gendered concepts.

However, it should also be noted that these games for women are usually made by women in the industry. Yes, there's internalized misogyny but this isn't it here.

Coming back to Bai Qi, you have to realize that he comes from a strict military family: his father is a lieutenant general [Campus Date] and was extremely harsh, meanwhile Bai Qi describes his mother as gentle and someone who cried in the shadows for him whenever his father went off on him [Seize: Sad Thoughts Call]. It paints the image of his mother being a dodder flower, the classic housewife.

Then, after his mother's death in high school when he was 15 years old [CN Character Profile], he went to join the special forces. Undoubtedly, this was another environment where he's surrounded by men and military ideals. And yet, through all of this, not only does he keep his own idea of justice, but he comes out WITHOUT looking down at women.

"Bai Qi is excellent and one day he will be the "sharp blade" of the special forces. The only pity is that he is too attached to the justice in his own heart, and he's blinded his own eyes. But at the same time I am looking forward to what direction his convictions will take him to." - Commander Leto

[CN Character Profile]

Gavin's character type is being the quintessential male.

But he's completely supportive of MC's work, helps her out with her production shows, and sends her to and from work whenever he has the time. He never disparages her work.

In [Seize: Sad Thoughts Call], there is a point where MC tells him that she'll always be by his side and he can rely on her. Bai Qi chuckles through his tears (ZHANG JIE! YOUR VOICE!!) and says "Silly, I'm a man. You should leave these sort of words to me. But, hearing you say this, makes me really happy."

I think it's doing Bai Qi a disservice to think he's being sexist here. Perhaps, you can feel sorry that this sort of standard of masculinity is something he upholds but I'd argue that he was making a joke to break up the heavy mood and he doesn't say ANYTHING about her not being allowed to say that. Instead, he's actually happy to hear that from her. He openly shows his emotions to her here about his past and sorrow. Again, considering his military upbringing and his mother, it's probably engraved in his bones to do his best to take care of his loved ones.

Look, some people just have dominant personalities and Bai Qi is one of them. He's probably one of the closest of the men to being classically masculine, but the way he's an enormous puppy for the MC breaks him out of the stereotype. (Like how Victor is the classical CEO, but his Souvenir side breaks him out of that stereotype).

Going along with, what I'd call his chivalrous (NOT chauvinist) attitude, is how natural his actions are in taking care of the MC and being considerate of her.

In [Photoshoot 5-7], MC drops her chopsticks and Bai Qi picks it up, gives her his, and wipes hers off before using it to eat.

In [Main Story 12-13], Bai Qi shows up on his motorcycle and passes her a pastel-colored helmet. Meaning that, not only did he consider her safety, but he also went out of his way to pick a color that he thought would suit her.

In [Wish Date], MC drops a plate and it shatters but just as she bends down to clean it up Bai Qi picks her up and moves her away.

In [Warm Palms ASMR], Bai Qi keeps MC comfort by sitting beside the bed on the ground to look over his documents. He doesn't assume he can just get on the bed and actually double-checks before he does.

In [Gentle Touch CN ASMR] Bai Qi is concerned about MC getting tired from standing on tiptoes to help him shave and tells her to stand on his feet. Later, he boosts her up onto the sink counter.

TRACKING BRACELET; PROTECTIVENESS

Tackling the second big issue: the tracking bracelet and Bai Qi's "overprotectiveness". Honestly, if anyone is overprotective in this game though it's definitely Li Zeyan LOL. Bai Qi may take second place, but that's still far below Li Zeyan.

Anyway, addressing the tracking bracelet first, I think it's interesting that, after Bai Qi gives MC the tracking bracelet in Chapter 2 and the events happen, he gives MC the [CH2 Story Call: Tracking Bracelet] and there he asks MC if she's at home. I don't know how the English version did it but in Chinese, after MC reminds him that he sent her home just an hour ago and did he forget, you hear him clear his throat awkwardly and then he says "Oh, I was just making sure. Don't go out anymore tonight." Hm, wouldn't he know she was at home already if he was using the tracking?

In [CH5 Story Call: Production Show Investigation] Bai Qi calls and asks "Are you home yet?". Hey, again, wouldn't he know if he was tracking her? He knows MC went to the orphanage and implies that he knows she went there because of the bracelet. But here's another thought: he was clearly investigating the old orphanage because he appears there later in Chapter 6 to save MC. So, perhaps he and the special forces already had surveillance on the old orphanage and the surrounding area.

In [Main Story 12-18] Bai Qi hears that MC is in the hotel and panics and asks the reception for her. If he was using the tracking bracelet, wouldn't he know exactly where she is? For something that everyone feels like he's violating MC's privacy with, he barely seems to use it for its actual function LOL.

It happens again in [Starry Date], although you can argue dates might be different, but MC pranks him in a call and, at the end, he asks her for the address of the karaoke place she's at so he can pick her up. If he was tracking her he wouldn't need to ask the address now, would he? She's definitely wearing the bracelet in dates because in [Trio Date] Bai Qi reminds her to have the bracelet on.

On a side note, I also find it interesting that he never FORCES the MC to wear the bracelet. In [Main Story 12-11] in Chinese he strokes the bracelet gently and then says "Remember to wear it". It's always said as a suggestion, as if he thinks that she does take it off at times but he doesn't press her to constantly wear it.

In [Main Story 15-4], Bai Qi reveals that even without the bracelet he can still find MC so it's not a tracking bracelet. I'm sure he thought implying that was the only way for him to give her that bracelet.

Now, regarding his protectiveness, he doesn't actually limit or cage the MC in anyway:

In [CH5 Story Call: Production Show Investigation] he suggests for her to avoid the orphanage but considering they meet again in Chapter 6, he clearly didn't do anything to stop her.

In [Photoshoot 5-1] MC has to interview a criminal and Bai Qi is there to escort her, but he doesn't stop her from going to meet the man. Because she's working and he knows better than to interrupt her.

In [Follow-Up Date], I agree that MC did something crazy by following him in, but he doesn't freak out at her afterward. He scolds her and whatnot but then calms down.

In [Seize: About Film Studio Call] Bai Qi picks MC up and removes her out of the shooting location because a bomb threat was called in. But he apologizes immediately when he realizes what he did, recognizing he was wrong for doing that, and actively works with MC and includes her into evacuating the rest of her employees.

In [Main Story CH12] Bai Qi brings MC to the special forces base and gets her involved with everything he's investigating after he gets permission. Heck, even when there was that rogue soldier, he just shuffles the MC into a corner and then goes to subdue the person.

Actually, in [Main Story 12-11] MC notes that this is the first time Bai Qi has said she's "forbidden" from going outside. This is when things get really crazy and Evols are going out of control, so it's not a surprise he wants her to stay put while he investigates the hotel. But this also shows that all the times before Bai Qi has never said anything forceful to MC and has only ever advised her not to wander around recklessly.

None of these are actions of a person who is crazily overprotective. Someone like that (cough Li Zeyan cough, at least until he calms down) would have locked her up in a room and kept her ignorant so she doesn't get any thoughts to run off and investigate things. Bai Qi tries his hardest to grant her wishes, within reason, and tries to answer any questions she has as long as he's free to do so. (And hey, no one talks about Li Zeyan's SP guard detail or Luoluo being able to track her through surveillance cameras; Xu Mo already got attacked for this so I won't bring the poor man up LOL).

Look, despite Bai Qi's maverick attitude, he still is part of a military organization and needs to follow orders. It makes sense too considering his military upbringing and no doubt, as long as it's not outrageous or touches his bottom line (the MC and sacrificing lives), he'll obey orders.

His joining of the special forces symbolizes the difference of his justice compared to his father. He will not give up on someone for any reason. If a sacrifice is necessary, then he will choose to face it alone.

[CN Character Profile]

But, anyway, he is protective to a certain degree and it's understandable considering how alone he's been since 15 years old and how in [Seize: Sad Thoughts Call] Bai Qi reveals that he feels like everyone he gets close to leaves him in the end (the death of his mother, his younger brother, his father (before he threw this man into the garbage bin where he belongs)).

He's also probably seen a lot of deaths of his comrades in the special forces. Heck, in [Main Story 12-6] Guzheng talks about a mission where the only people who survived was him and Bai Qi, and him only because Bai Qi came and saved him.

So, now that he's reunited with his one and only love again, you bet he's going to try and protect her. Not only is it in his blood, with his military upbringing, but also because he's just that sort of person. A trustworthy man who is determined to protect his loved ones without any sacrifices (or taking on all the sacrifices onto his own body).

HIS ENTIRE BEING IS ATTUNED TO MC

Okay, now that we got all the ugly things out of the way, this section is just for me to gush about what a gigantic soft puppy Bai Qi is with the MC. He's a tough, indifferent, lone wolf police on the streets, but an enormous puppy in the sheets in front of the MC.

Catch me crying every time over this Bai Qi Wish Date art by Honey Dogs because that's what Bai Qi is constantly doing everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

Like the art above shows, in [Wish Date] Bai Qi uses his third wish to stand in the corner and watch MC as she prepares his birthday meal. He's just a puppy who wants to be as close as possible! Watching his loved one! There's amazing description about the gentle smile in his eyes.

In [Prank Date] Bai Qi catches MC's eyes immediately when she just looks over at him across the room.

In [Follow-Up Date] Bai Qi saw MC trying to give him something, before that policewoman came up and tried to give him food and scared off MC.

In [Main Story 12-13] Bai Qi is just standing outside but he spins around the moment MC comes out of her building as if he sensed her. His eyes also creases when he smiles at her.

In [Main Story 7-4] when MC bumps into Bai Qi at their school, she sees him just standing there with his hands in his pocket and quietly watching her. A smile surfaces in his eyes when they accidentally ask each other why the other is here at the same time and then he waits for her to continue first.

In [Makeup Challenge CN ASMR] Bai Qi reveals that he watches MC put on her makeup quite a bit. He doesn't get all the products right, and he doesn't know what they're all for, but he gets a gold star for trying LOL. I'm just imagining Honey Dog art again with him leaning against the bathroom door watching MC with heart eyes. But also, when he takes her into an area with more light to put on her makeup, he just spends some time looking into her eyes because they're pretty in the light.

In [His Fingertips CN ASMR] Bai Qi notices that MC has pierced her ears. She did it to match him and the affection in his sigh as he calls her silly. SOBS. He also decides to get her matching earrings as a gift next time instead of a bracelet. On another note, in his birthday stroll, MC and him end up getting her clip-on earrings. CUTE.

In [Gentle Touch CN ASMR] Bai Qi is again over the moon with seeing her at such a close distance when she's helping him shave. He's also a gigantic puppy nuzzling her hand when she checks her work by smoothing her palms across his jaw.

In [Caressing His Face CN ASMR] Bai Qi again reveals that he watches MC go about her bathroom rituals. He sees the skincare she puts on her skin and, although not knowledgeable, is totally game with letting her play by putting it on him. AGAIN, with the nuzzling, because her hands feel too nice.

Don't touch me I'm so tender for how concentrated Bai Qi's attention is on the MC whenever she's around. Honestly, the way he's so openly honest and genuine about his feelings for the MC is what strikes him out for the bad boy archetype.

SHORTCOMINGS

Anyway, to be fair, we have to look at some of Bai Qi's shortcomings and "flaws" now. Bai Qi isn't perfect. Heck, no one is, which is what makes these characters feel complex and developed. However, his shortcomings or flaws certainly don't make him a toxic person (or else, we'd all be toxic people with our idiosyncrasies that other people don't like, lol).

Bai Qi can be really rude to people who aren't the MC. Not to mention, he tends to resort to violence and threats to people he really, really doesn't care about.

In [Relieving Date] Bai Qi tells the people who were hitting on the MC to scram unless they want to be beaten to a pulp.

In [Slightly Drunken Date] Bai Qi tells the bassist to take his beer and leave if he doesn't want his arm broken.

In [Moments] I believe Bai Qi nearly threw (or did throw) Minor over his shoulder when he was touched on the back? Minor also, at one point, says that Bai Qi nearly punched him a few times or something?

Fortunately, he doesn't go overboard with his force. But I can totally see how some people wouldn't be impressed with someone who chooses violence as an answer or threat. I'm totally a-okay with this, but then again I think characters with body counts are attractive so I'm not one to speak about this being a positive thing LOL.

But, despite being rude, he knows when to draw a distinction and be professional. For example, in [Follow-Up Date], he treated the policewoman with the bare minimum courtesy, despite being indifferent. He chews her out for endangering people in the field, but he doesn't do anything more than that.

In [Campus Date], it's shown that he beat up and got beaten up in high school, although those people sounded like they were part of a gang, so it wasn't like they were upstanding citizens LOL. However, there was that kid who stole the cash register money and got beaten up by Bai Qi, who then took the money to spend on something he wanted. This surprised me since he ends up working with the police and special forces to uphold justice, but well I'll just paste a section in his profile here:

Bai Qi has many informant friends that belong in the gray zone, and he often breaks what's known as the rules of convention. He uses methods that don't look so "just" to achieve his goals. Because of this, there's many people who can't understand him and feel that his actions are inappropriate. Towards all these misunderstandings, Bai Qi doesn't bother to explain and doesn't care. Even if no one understands, he will use his own ways to protect his convictions.

[CN Character Profile]

He's not squeaky clean, but I'd say he still stands mostly on the morally upright side (cough maverick archetype cough). In fact, he's a huge proponent for the preciousness of life and I guess almost how everyone has an inherent worth in them, which is ironic considering how little he applies it to himself. But, hey, it's normal to have different standards for other people compared to yourself.

Anyway, moving on, Bai Qi's protectiveness over the MC CAN get the better of him, but he apologizes immediately. I mentioned it above already but in [Seize: About Film Studio Call] Bai Qi apologizes for his actions of forcibly removing the MC to protect her.

Continuing on, because I see it brought up, there's the opinion that Bai Qi lacks personality because he has no opinions when it comes to MC. I'm going to argue here that this focus is on the wrong thing.

Bai Qi has a LOT of opinions (such as how best to protect MC, etc.) but his personality is the type not to care about what he considers "small details" which is why he's content to let MC make the decisions on what to eat (because he has no strong preference for food) and do the things she finds fun.

Actually, in [Your Loving Eyes: The Best Gift Call] MC is trying to get Bai Qi a present, but he just says "Sure" to everything she suggests until MC chides him saying "Hey, why is everything good? When did you lose your opinion?". In Chinese, you can hear Bai Qi respond with a startled and amused "Really?". It's clear that he doesn't believe this is the case either.

It's completely fine for that not to be your thing (which is why we have three other eligible bachelors), but it's reading Bai Qi's character wrong to think this makes him have no personality.

You can even see in [Moments], that Bai Qi does arrange for some outings, such as taking MC out to the arcade to play games. He also suggests going to look at the stars a lot, because he's an astronomy boy.

Hobbies #2: Astronomy. He likes the stars, and once did some research on them. He also really enjoys soaring through the night sky, the feeling of looking up at the stars, and Jupiter.

[CN Character Profile]

However, despite this not being that big of a deal in my eyes, Bai Qi and MC do get development in this area which is what makes their relationship so nice. A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. Cough, sorry I had to get that out.

In [CN SSR Crisis: Art of Speaking Call] Bai Qi is taking MC out on a date and she is conflicted over what shoes to wear, the hair clip to use, and the purse to bring. She asks him for his opinion, but he keeps saying that they're all good, as long as she likes it. But MC gets annoyed and tells him that it sounds like he's being perfunctory and doesn't care.

This takes him aback and he hurriedly tells her that wasn't his intention. He genuinely thinks those things. But he realizes that she does want to hear his opinion, so he strives to give her a choice, even if it barely makes a difference for him because he thinks she looks good in everything. The two end up promising to not say any "sure" or "whatever" that day, so that they answer each other with an opinion.

In [SSR Heat up: Pretty Boy Call], you also see Bai Qi getting called out for answering "whatever" to everything. He immediately works to correct his opinion and says he'll wear whatever she picks.

Honestly, the reason he's so happy to go along with MC is explained in his [Mediterranean Date] where he literally says "The missed holidays, the dates I couldn't make, and the many times I had to disappear without being able to tell you... I've never had the time to make up for all of these things. So, no matter what we do, no matter where we go, as long as the person beside me is you, I won't have a single objection.".

Lastly, I think the real issue with Bai Qi is that he has a terrible sense of self-worth. It doesn't express itself in him being timid or not confident, but in the way he's reckless with his own health. ESPECIALLY when it comes to the MC.

In [Campus Date] there's a line that goes "She probably didn't know that her piano saved the youth who was about to fall into an abyss of darkness, and she had no way of knowing that this youth swore to protect her with his entire life". On one hand, romantic, on the other hand... oh boy, Bai Qi has really devoted his life to the MC and he's a man who doesn't change his stance once he decides on something, and here are some instances:

In [Endless Abyss: Beside You Call] Bai Qi comes back from a mission and decides to send MC to work. He just came back from a mission and hasn't slept for an entire day, but he wants to see her because she remarked on how they haven't seen each other for a while and he feels the same. HELLO? SIR PLEASE SLEEP.

In [Bleary Dawn CN ASMR] Bai Qi has two instances of this. First, he's cuddling in bed with MC and thinks about how he should get out and go for a morning jog, but he doesn't want to leave her. MC is worried he'll catch a cold in the rain, but he says he won't since it's a light drizzle. However, MC gets upset at that and you can hear the genuine apology in his voice when he realizes that she's worried about him.

Second instance, in [Bleary Dawn CN ASMR] is when they chat about whether Bai Qi has ever slept in. His family didn't allow that (SCREW HIS FATHER) and then he joined the military so even less so. He never feels sleepy though since he sleeps early. However, if he can't sleep then he just goes through the entire night without sleeping. MC worries about him, he tries to brush it off again saying it's no problem, she gets upset, and he startles and gets genuinely apologetic again. SOBS please Bai Qi learn to treasure yourself.

In [Main Story 12-11] Bai Qi gets injured when he was subduing the out-of-control Evol soldier, but he doesn't seem to even notice it until MC brings it up and wants to treat it for him at her house. He even reluctantly shows her his arm.

It's understandable because his DOUCHE FATHER has treated him terribly throughout his life. In [Campus Date] we get a memory from Bai Qi about his father literally saying "Such a useless thing has no point in existing". Ever since his mother passed away (at age 15!) he's been alone.

Fortunately, like I mentioned at the start, Bai Qi gets over most of this trauma in [Campus Date] with the help of MC. But the marks still linger and it's not until he's 24 years old at [Main Story 12-18] where he asserts that his existence is absolutely not a disgrace/stain that he fully gets over his father's specter. Still, Bai Qi's pretty reckless with his health.

Anyway, both MC and Bai Qi need to realize that the best thing you can do for your loved ones is to take care of yourself, because your happiness and health is their happiness and health. Support each other, but treating yourself well for them is the best thing to do.

CONCLUSION

Overall, while Bai Qi is a lone wolf and maverick in public, he's the sweetest puppy around the MC. He's terribly reckless with his health (he's been trained to be a weapon and, no doubt, his father still haunts him), but he's slowly overcoming that with the MC. She also encourages him to be more expressive of his opinions, no matter how small or insignificant he feels they are (re: the things he really couldn't care less about).

In return, he gives MC courage to walk her own path no matter what anyone else says. His easy confidence and ability to ignore the gaze of the world is something that's admirable.

The two of them just provide each other unconditional love and support and it's gorgeous. She can act however she wants with him and he'll take it in stride and accept her. He doesn't want her to change, and neither does she for him. But together they encourage each other to express their opinions and feelings to each other more.

Anyway, congratulations to anyone who read all the way down to this point. You deserve a Bai Qi SSR and may you be blessed with Bai Qi pulls---. I also hope this provides a better understanding of Bai Qi and more appreciation for his character.

I didn't touch on Bai Qi's hobbies or character apart from the MC much, unfortunately, because the focus of this post was about his relationship with MC and his character around that. But, trust me, he has a lot of hobbies for himself! He's just low-key in the way he expresses those (cause he's too loud in beaming heart eyes at the MC), so it's like a "blink and you miss it".

His official weibo shows a ton of his hobbies though, like taking care of his (eternally dying) cacti. He has a hedgehog! He loves basketball (and other sports). He plays the guitar and sings. He loves astronomy.

#love and producer #mlqc meta #mr love queen's choice #mlqc gavin #mlqc bai qi #mlqc #love and produc(ing) meta

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orange-waterfalls · 5 years ago

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Feelings? No. Never.

Illinois x gender neutral!reader

@edgynoise ty for the request!

A/N: Illinois falling in love and not knowing what to do with it. I loved writing this lol. There's a dog, and I chose a hypoallergenic dog bc... Y'know... Uh, Illinois being big dumb. Real men don't have FEELINGS. Rated T for cursing and hurt pupper. Don't worry, she gets better. Fluffy. Enjoy.

Word Count: 2.1k

Illinois was a bit intimidated by you. You two had a lot in common. You both loved adventure, you both were fearless, and you both could be too arrogant at times. The difference was you were more aggressive about it. He wouldn't lie, he got worried when you asked him if he dared you to jump over a pit of snakes.

Another difference was you were softer than him. You loved children and animals, and were very kind and caring. Illinois didn't really like kids and most animals just annoyed him. He wasn't the caring type. You two complimented each other well.

One problem.

Illinois had fallen in love with you.

He wasn't sure when or how it happened, but all he knew was that whenever he saw you playing with a baby or a dog or something like that, he couldn't help smiling.

Illinois had fallen in love before. At least, he was pretty sure he had. It had been a while. But the overwhelming desire to see you happy may have tipped him off a bit.

But he was honestly a bit scared.

Feelings were nothing but trouble. They had no place in his line of work. You risked your lives every day, there was no room for a relationship. Besides, he wasn't the relationship type. He was married to his job! The only thing he loved was adventure! And now, apparently, you. What was he supposed to do with that? Ask you out? No. He couldn't. He wouldn't. He'd get over this soon enough.

Then a week passed. Then two weeks. Then two months. And that mushy, touchy-feely, butterflies-in-your-stomach emotion he felt towards you hadn't faded a bit. In fact, it may have just gotten bigger.

He would sit with you while you did absolutely anything, just wanting to be around you. He would watch you from across the room, adoration visible in his eyes. Whenever he talked to you, love and affection dripped from his voice.

He hated it.

He couldn't control it! His face started heating whenever you touched him, and he started giggling like a schoolgirl when he thought of you. This wasn't like him. He needed to stop. But he wasn't sure how to stop.

And he didn't need to.

You two had discovered some temple ruins and Illinois decided to explore. He had hoped some adventure would take his mind off of things.

As it turns out, going on an adventure with the person you are in love with will not help you get over the person you are in love with.

You decided to walk through town on the way over instead of driving, just because. He thought it was a waste of time, but you wanted to see everything. So, you walked.

While walking you froze as you heard a small whine from an alleyway.

"Illinois," you called so he'd stop. He turned to you.

"What's wrong?" He asked. You didn't answer as you spun towards the alley and went in. Illinois followed you, curious in what you were doing. You slowly stepped through the alley, keeping your ears open, until both of you heard another whine. You rush towards the source of the noise and find a Portuguese Water-Dog puppy. Its fur was black, so you barely saw that its leg was bleeding. You gasped and laid your hand on the pup.

"Aw, Illinois! Look at it!" You said sadly. Illinois rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, great. Drop it at the vet so we can go." You turned to him and frowned. He suddenly felt guilty.

"No! I can't just abandon it! I found it and now it's my responsibility," you claimed. Illinois sighed in annoyance. He didn't even try to argue because he knew he couldn't change your mind.

You lifted up the small pup and cradled it in your arms, shushing it gently. Illinois tried to look annoyed, but his brain decided to make a ton of serotonin in that exact moment and he smiled at you. You two stood for a moment, you cradling the dog, Illinois smiling at you lovingly. You looked up at him and smirked.

"There a problem, Illy?" You chuckled. Illinois snapped out of his trance and widened his eyes at you. He cleared his throat.

"Uh, no. Let's just… let's just go," he said and turned around, walking back to where you came from. You jogged to catch up to him, staring at the puppy in adoration.

"I'm gonna call them… Indiana," you said. Illinois turned to you.

"Really?" He asked, offended. You laughed.

"Yeah, really! It'll be too confusing to name you both Illinois," you explained. He turned away from you, his face flushing.

"Yeah… okay," he mumbled.

A couple days after you nursed the puppy back to health, you made Illinois go with you to buy stuff for it. You held his hand as you dragged him around the pet store, holding the puppy in your arms as well. You repeatedly referred to her as your daughter, and told him he was her parent as well. Not to mention, a bunch of people walking around were whispering you two looked cute together.

This was not at all helping with Illinois' feelings for you. He wanted them to leave, not for other people to know about it.

"Y/N can you… not hold my hand and… stop calling me its dad?" He asked, sounding annoyed. Your happy face dropped a bit, but you nodded and let go of his hand. He immediately regretted his decision after 5 minutes of missing your hand in his. You had bought the puppy a collar, a leash, a bed, bowls, food, and a couple of toys. You forced Illinois to pick the toys out, since he was going to be living with the dog too. You wanted him and the pup to get along. He groaned but picked out five, and complained when you told him that was enough. You could tell he was having fun.

You drove the puppy back to you and Illinois' house. You both had thought it made more sense for you to live together, since you started adventuring together.

Yep. That was the only reason, alright.

You set the puppy's bed next to yours and set her on the floor.

"Go on, Indiana!" You urged. The pup wobbled over to the bed, her leg wrapped in bandages. She circled for a minute before laying down on it and soon falling asleep. You stared at her for a while before Illinois tapped you on the shoulder. You turned to him, wondering what he wanted. He held up the newspaper article about the cursed treasure that had originally made you two go on your adventure.

Well, before you found the puppy and forgot about adventure altogether.

You called a doggy daycare so you could drop Indiana off and go on the adventure. You anticipated you'd be away for the entire weekend, so you asked one of your friends to pick her up and drop her off each day. Once they agreed, you and Illinois packed your stuff.

Well, you packed your stuff. Illinois still had his bag from the first time you went.

You two tossed your bags in the backseat and sat in the car, ready for danger.

You two had been walking inside the actual ruins for 2 hours. There were so many different pathways you could go, and somehow, none of the ones you chose so far were correct. You had found plenty of rooms with treasure in them, but every time you took one, something went wrong.

First there was a golden statue that he'd replaced with a rock, and a boulder began to chase you both. You ended up back where you started, unhurt but very annoyed.

Then, a golden lamp sitting in the middle of a room. When Illinois grabbed it, the walls started to close in on you two. There wasn't enough time to run out, so you shot your grappling hook at the door and swung your way out. Illinois' hat almost got crushed. It wouldn't have been bad, but he would've complained to you until he eventually bought a new one.

Another memorable one was when the ground closed in under you and you fell into a pit of vipers. Before Illinois could even ask if you were ok, you climbed up the walls with two knives, smiling and saying you were good. Illinois thought it was impossible to fall more in love with you, yet here we are.

You were on your fourth pathway, and there wasn't anything interesting so far. You two normally just walked in comfortable silence, but Illinois initiated conversation.

"So, partner," he called. You turned towards him with a small smile.

"Hm?" You asked.

"Why do you like adventuring so much?" Your eyes widened as you laughed at the question.

"Well, uh… that's a long story…"

"We got time, don't we?"

You were quiet for a moment before you started telling your entire life story.

Half an hour into you talking and Illinois' smile hadn't faltered a bit. He loved your voice oh, so much. You had gone from talking about your childhood to what you did last week, and he listened to everything. You sped up as you talked so Illinois, with his slow saunter, fell a bit behind. He began to zone out and think.

He loved you… at this point, he knew he did. You were amazing… he loved you so much… What was he supposed to do? He didn't want to kiss you… well, he did. But not yet. He didn't know if you'd want to. He didn't know if you liked him. He had no way of figuring that out without telling you he liked you. And what if you didn't? Your friendship could be ruined! He didn't want that… he wouldn't survive. It's not like he could just… pin you up against the wall and hope you kissed him… could he? Well, he didn't have much to lose. If you didn't like him, maybe he could beg you to be friends with him again. Worth a shot.

"Y/N?" He called. He held your hand, stopping you from going farther. You turned towards him.

"What is it?" You asked.

He grabbed your shoulders and gently pinned you against the wall. Your eyes widened as you looked at him. One hand moved to the side of your neck, and he moved his other hand against the wall, straightening his arm. He was absently rubbing his thumb over your jaw, staring at your lips. He stepped closer to you, moving the hand against the wall to the other side of your neck. You held your breath as he stood dangerously close to you, your bodies almost touching.

"You're… so wonderful…" he whispered. One hand moved to your chin as he stared at your lips. You weren't smiling.

That was bad.

He worriedly looked at your eyes, seeing only confusion. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Just… kiss me if you like me back…" he begged. After a few seconds of nothing, he began moving away from you. "I'm so--" you grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him into a kiss. Illinois, caught off guard, buckled a bit. You pulled him back up and he started kissing back. Your bodies were up against each other and he wasn't sure if he could handle anymore. If he'd ascended into heaven right then and there, he wouldn't be surprised. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged, pulling him impossibly closer to you. He whined and mentally beat himself up for it. He was supposed to make you make those noises. He reluctantly pulled away for breath.

"What the hell are you doing to me?" He murmured. You chuckled.

"I don't know. What am I doing?"

"You're throwing off my entire vibe is what you're doing," You both laughed and he watched you in awe. "I love you…" you stopped laughing and looked at him. Shit, shit, shit. Too soon… he scolded himself. You smiled at him and softly pecked him on the lips again.

"I love you too…" you mumbled. You both gaze adoringly at each other before you wiggled out from your spot between him and the wall, continuing down the pathway. "Come on! I'm not leaving without some sort of reward!" You yelled. He smirked.

"What? Ain't I enough reward, darlin'?" He asked. You rolled your eyes.

"You're good, but love won't pay the bills. Besides, we have a daughter now!"

"Right…"

"Well… I guess you're technically her step-dad, but you can still form a relationship!"

"Oh, shut up." You snickered at him and kept walking. He sighed.

Feelings could be good sometimes.

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breyito · 5 years ago

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the sharp edges of a flower

TITLE: the sharp edges of a flower

AUTHOR/ARTIST: @breyito (read also on AO3)

PROMPT DAY : Day 3- Protection for @geraskierweek

SUMMARY: Three times Jaskier protected Geralt without him knowing it.

WORD COUNT: ~1.8 k

BOOKS/NETFLIX/2002 SHOW/VIDEO GAME: Netflix show

TRIGGERS/WARNINGS: Angst, but mostly not. Hurt/Comfort. Violence, a bit.

RATING: Teen and up

ADDITIONAL NOTES: I wanted to do a 5+1, but it would never be finished, so I cut it here. I *might* write the rest, but I don’t make any promeses. Some fluff to balance the angst of yesterday lol. Tho the last one went away from me a bit and ended sad again. Sorry ñ.ñ Btw, I do like Yennefer, I just think the relationship between her and Geralt makes no sense. I think she knows what she wants and she can be very selfish (no hate there, so can I) but she's not good for Geralt, so... Oh! The two firsts are in the early stages of their relationship, the third in between those last years. I intended to do a couple more in the middle (and might, maybe, perhaps) so that it would flow better but...

Enjoy!

Jaskier is at the bar, flirting with a lovely lady in a break in his set, when something catches his attention. He overhears a drunkard happily proclaiming that one of the patrons of the tavern is going to poison the Witcher's drink; to see if they really are inmune to such things, as myth and rumours go.

Geralt is upstairs, still cleaning his armor (the bard had stayed until the man was clean, but the menial tasks of leather and sword mantainance were not something he cared for much); so he can't know what will happen when he comes down to have his earned supper.

Jaskier has learned by now that, unless this is a specialized poison Made by a mage, it won't kill the Witcher. It doesnt mean it won't hurt him, though. Humilliate him in front of the townspeople if he gets sick; which is no doubt one of the reasons why every one of the men in the table of this drunkard is laughing; and why the older barmaid is going along with it.

So, instead of causing a scene, he launches into another song; pulling all the barmaids to dance, spinning them around as he marches them to their tables.

He makes sure to spill a little bit of the poison he stashes in one of his rings in all the tankards going to that table (one of the cheapest ones, and a small enough dose that it shouldn't kill, just make them spend their coin in a healer instead of more beer) and distracts the old and bitter barmaid so that the poisoned drink ends in his hand.

If he gets pushed and ends up spilling the liquid over the man eagerly watching the Witcher drink his ale...

Well, he makes sure to act surprised and scared when the man's skin starts to sizzle and burn.

(The Witcher from then on insists on sniffing all the drinks he orders, in case somebody tries to poison the bard again; which causes Jaskier to melt a little, as well as laugh a bit on the inside).

He can see the way people are looking at the Witcher.

And it's allright, perhaps his song about the noble White Wolf has not gotten to this nowhere-town in the middle of this nowhere-kindom yet. But they needed the coin and the people here need a monster slain; so they keep their hate quiet and throw their glares just at their backs, instead of at their faces.

But Jaskier knows how to read a crowd; and he knows that if Geralt stops at the inn they are staying at before he goes to collect his payment they will be run out of town with hateful words and the promise of violence (that happened once, just once; because Jaskier promised himself that as long as he was by the Witcher's side it wouldn't happen again) and no payment. He knows that the people of this town believe themselves to be as important as the capital of their kingdom; despite the fact that Ard Carraigh was a few towns and villages away yet. And they had no problem following their King’s policies against non-humans; which was bad but not much different than in other places, like Cintra and the like. Usually though, those policies didn’ extend towards Witchers; but in this particular town they did. So Jaskier, while Geralt left on his own on a week long and dangerous hunt (not even taking Roach!), separated himself as much as possible from the Witcher, charming people left and right.

He plays people's favorites and requests: ballads about romance and heroic deeds, plays the joyful tunes that make patrons drink more and be more giving; and only mixes in a song about his muse per performance, when he has enough coin at his feet to at least pay for supper and a few other things.

He buys cured meats and dried fruits and stores up on flat bread and hard cheeses, vegetables and fats; flirts on with the market people (pretty lads and shy girls; amused mature women and harsh old ladies) and gets wine, soaps and candies for a lower price, and not double or triple like they would have demanded of the Witcher. It makes him a little sick; to flirt and smile at people that would spit on his friend's face; but he thinks that while this time he won't be able to provide Geralt with a soft bed he will at least be able to give him these little luxuries, and that is worth it; so he keeps at it.

When he hears the firsts whispers of the Witcher on his way back; he packs all of their stuff and saddles Roach after bribing her with some stolen apples (the vendor had tried to get him into his bed while insulting Geralt, so he had apologized profusely, citing a previous appointmet, while he snuck the best fruits for the mare, a big fake smile plastered on his face) and marches her down to the Alderman's house. Geralt sees him there and stops, and before the Witcher can get mad at him for touching his horse he starts to babble about sleeping with the butcher's daughter and the butcher's wife and the need to flee the town before he is found and butchered in a goresome fashion.

Geralt grumbles and curses him for the lack of a proper bath to get the filth of the hunt off him; but goes into the Aldermans house to get his coin anyways. He comes out, pouch in hand and mounts Roach and they leave.

He helps the witcher wash off in a stream later, under the warm sun; and it's paceful. He's gentle as he uses the sage soap he bought for the delicate nose of the man, and as he cleans then combs the silver hair with the same care he shows his previous lute. He insists the Witcher rests the rest of the day; to sleep. Then, when Geralt wakes up, Jaskier insists he uses the free time to clean his armor and blades, instead of packing up and setting camp again in a few hours. He uses the vegetables and some meat to make a sturdy stew as a treat; and snares and roasts two rabbits for dinner. If he lets Geralt believe he does all of this as a way to pay him back, well...that is his bussines and his bussines alone.

(The butcher had no daughter and had no wife. Because there was no butcher in this town.)

He protects Geralt from Yennefer once, incredibly. The Witcher is on a hunt (a nest of kikimoras and a new queen, so the bard stayed behind but the horse went along) when the witch shows up at the one tavern the bard happens to be performing at, of all the taverns in the whole city. It has been only three months since the last time they encountered her (and Gerlat has barely started to let him touch him with gentleness when he’s not injured, has just begun relaxing his shoulders and giving that barely-there smile of his that is so endearing Jaskier could die of tenderness) so Jaskier ends his set, finishes his drink like a shot and sits in front of her, and bluntly asks her what does she want to leave before the Witcher comes back.

The mage is amused and surprised; so she plays his game. She tells him she wants the silver dagger that the Witcher gave him a few years ago, for protection. She knows the emotional value that it has, she has seen how the bard sharpens it and always has it on him. She also knows its one of the only gifts the Witcher ever gave the bard, and how the bard cherises it.

He swallows but doesn’t hesitate to reach for the sheat and put the dagger on the table between them. Yennefer is surprised but smiles anyways, and starts to gently caress the blade; and mockingly asks how he will explain the loss of something so precious. Jaskier tells her that that’s not her problem, but if she wants to know; he will say he got attacked and defended himself, and the attacker left with the dagger still inside them. She laughs at his story, asks if he thinks the Witcher will buy it. Jaskier answers yes.

The mage then asks why he would part with this gift, when he surely knows they will just meet in another few weeks or moths; because at this point they all agree that whatever the Witcher and the Witch have between them is inescapable. He says that Geralt is not healed yet, that he needs a little more time before he’s ready for her to empty and crash his heart again. She flinches at this assesment; and when she tries to say that she loves him; Jaskier responds that she loves him because she knows she can use him and discard him and he will still be there the next time.

She waits a moment then asks, sickly sweet, that it’s the same way Geralt treats him, is it not? The bard laughs bitterly, but explains the difference: Yennefer knows Geralt will be there and does the things she does because of this; Geralt does it because he’s still testing him, because he doesn’t think Jaskier will still be there, believes he doesn’t deserve it. So how can the bard hold it against him; when it’s people like her that made him believe he’s unworthy of love and devotion?

The war of looks makes the place spark with tension, and even the most drunk of patrons is mostly quiet. Yennefer knows her eyes are swirling with chaos, yet the poet doesn’t back down, keeps looking and looking and looking at her. His eyes are determined, even as tears escape and his lashes shiver. He doesn’t look away. Eventually, she does. She grabs the dagger and stands up, leaving.

Jaskier is lucky Geralt is dizzy with blood loss and too many potions when he comes back; because even though he washed and changed clothes the man can still smell the fucking lilac; and it’s easier to spin a lie about the gorgeous perfume seller and the dagger that is still in the side of her brother when the Witcher’s senses are not at their best. It’s also easier to deal with the dissapoinment in the men’s eyes when the other is delirious and won’t smell his tears.

(The next time they meet the mage in a town she gives him a barely-there nod before she focuses all her attention on the Witcher. Jaskier still turns around and rents a room in the rundown inn at the other side of the town. He never sees his dagger again.)

#netflix witcher #2020 geraskier week #fanfiction #day 3 protection #the witcher #feral jaskier

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maddiesup · 5 years ago

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Tag game!

I was tagged by @ohbabycupcakes thank u💖

RULES: Name 10 favorite characters from 10 different things then tag 10 people + leave comments on all of them

This is gonna be hard, where do I even start?

1) Keith (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Okay I'm- trying not to laugh too hard because oh boy, this show was a complete mess. BUT Keith still stays as one of my favorite characters ever just because no matter how badly I was hurt by vld he'll always be precious to me 💖 He's hotheaded, cool and a lone wolf, but needs affection more than anyone else on the team. He's easy for me to relate to as I am more likely to push someone away than to keep them close just to avoid being hurt as well. His development is amazing tho and I love love him so much 😭 also it might be just that I have a soft spot for emo characters lmao

2) Todoroki Shoto (Boku no Hero Academia)

This just reinforces my statement earlier since Todoroki is pretty emo too :') But in a different way than Keith. If you are a part of bnha fandom you know he's generally a little bit overrated, but I couldn't help falling in love with him at first sight anyway lol His backstory is tragic but he keeps pursuing his dream and damn is he good at it. Also the combo of fire and ice is aesthetic goals. However, what I admire the most about Shoto is probably his loyalty to his friends, his will to fight and sometimes his goofy attitude (even if he probably isn't aware that he's being goofy lol) In conclusion: I love him, let's move on.

3) Uenoyama Ritsuka (Given)

Can I just stop to say how much I love given for a moment? Like I've never seen a bl anime/manga that would portray gay characters so respectfully 😭❤️ Ue is basically me gay panicking, I feel the boy so much :') OH also what's up with gays & guitars bc first given, then why r u and now also 2gether :') (I might be falling in love with this trope help) okay so: Ue is panicking when he starts liking Mafuyu but he handles it so well in a way? He doesn't deny his crush even if he is slow to notice it lol He's straightforward and sometimes a little bit rough around the edges, but even if he's supposed to be "the cool guy" we see him in the most hilarious settings and that just makes me love him all the more 💖 he respects Mafuyu and his boundaries and I want more of that in bl anime please

4) Eiji & Ash (Banana Fish)

Uhhhh this anime,,, I CANNOT choose between Ash and Eiji, I'm gonna forever see them as a pair and that's simply it. Ash is another emo one I would like to say that but he's actually not. He's backstory is heartbreaking and the life he has to live is dangerous and scary. He gets used to this reality where he has no one to rely on and no one to trust but then Eiji appears tearing his walls down and making him finally be able to show his soft and sensitive side to someone. Eiji is like a salve for his wounds and yes, I'm still emotional about it bc their relationship is one of the best developped I've ever seen. Their bond is so strong it's beautiful, they would literally die for each other. It's so apparent that they love each other and care for each other so much (don't mind me crying in the corner)

5) Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson & the Olympians)

PJ technically got me into fantasy/sci-fi in elementary school and it stays at the top of my favorite book series list ever (big props to Uncle Rick 👏) The whole series is funny and I would say pretty light-hearted even tho you know,,, Percy saves the world several times, lol, usual demigod things™. He's lovable. Son of Poseidon so he has seaweeds instead of a brain (or so you thought, he is brilliant at strategic planning and has a charisma to be a great leader), has a very good sense of humor, is loyal and would risk everything for his friends. Also he loves his girlfriend very much and I was crying while reading the House of Hades but no one needed to know that oh well. I'm also gonna mention Nico de Angelo here, since he fell in love with Percy (didn't we all tho) and was the first gay character I saw portrayed in the book and oh do I love him 😭💖

6) 707 (Mystic Messenger)

Was I losing sleep over this game? I was. Do I regret anything? Absolutely not. I think my choices are pretty boring tho, since Seven is literally everyone's favorite but oh boy there's a reason for that. Apart from being a talented hacker who knows too much (and I think is cautious of us the most at the start) he has a lovely happy-go-lucky personality composed of all the lame jokes, questions "have you eaten already" and anxiety (another emo one). He's that type of a character who will always try to make you laugh but you never know what's going on inside his head. He's mysterious and we don't get to know him well till his route so pretty much till the end of the game lol. Also he loves his brother, phd pepper, honey buddha chips and Elizabeth 3rd the most in this entire world and I love him for that

7) Evan Hansen (Dear Evan Hansen)

ANOTHER EMO ONE okay but hear me out Evan has social anxiety and its portrayal is almost too real for me. He makes a big oopsie which at the start seems like a little innocent lie but then snowballs to enormous sizes. He gains everything in this bargain, a best (dead) friend, a caring mother, a father, a girlfriend even - and then everything falls apart since it all is built on one fat lie. He makes a lot of mistakes and then some more but you get it and you feel for him, and you cry with him and you're happy for him. And when all of this is over you're glad that he's still there trying his best, taking it one day at a time. And sidenote: Ben Platt's voice is angelic and I love him as Evan 💖💖💖

8) Isak (SKAM)

Another gay panicking one. I'm starting to realize there's a set of traits that I particularly like in fictional characters lol But ye, when I was watching skam ofc it was the third season which gripped me the most and kept me on the edge, bc yet again Isak taking an "are you gay" test was way too real for me. He makes a lot of mistakes along the way of figuring out his sexuality and sometimes stuff with Evan becomes really messy (for both of them) but he stays with him nevertheless ❤️ Skam is literally so good in its portrayal of the characters :') Anyways: alt er love 💖

9) Viktor & Yuuri (Yuri on Ice)

Em, another one that I absolutely can't break up to just one bc how could I? Yuri on ice got me into skating ❤️ I went to an ice rink for the first time bc of this anime and I almost died but now look at me actually finishing my first three months of ice skating training and watching real life figure skating competitions :') Little did I know then. But they're not only my favourites bc of that, I genuinely love the development of their relationship from fan - idol through skater - couch to lovers and history makers in the end. I love how Yuuri is a ball of insecurities and how Viktor manages to reassure him. I love how Viktor fell in love with drunk Yuuri clinging to him. I love how at first Yuuri wasn't able to get too close to Viktor without getting flustered and it changes so drastically to them basically always holding onto each other. I love how Viktor was stuck with no inspiration but then Yuuri came and turned his world upside down. I love how they support and respect each other. I could probably go on into eternity like that and Yuri on ice isn't even the best anime I've ever seen but it's certainly my favourite one ❤️

10) Tutor (WHY R U)

I can't believe I'm so obsessed with thai dramas rn and I'm only gonna include Tor on this list smh He's mental attitude inspires me. He's able to hold so much and appears totally unfazed even if he's barely holding on inside. He's hardworking and doesn't want others to pity him since he can manage it all just fine. He has a kind heart, he's a wonderful friend (especially to Hwa, he always listens to her, gives her pieces of advise, supports her and tries to cheer her up). He never forgets to say thank you when he genuinely feels grateful. But as we've seen he also is passionate and when he loves he LOVES. Also he's the biggest tease to Fighter and I love him for that :') I am so satisfied just by seeing him happy, please do not change that whyru gods 🙏

As it appears I'm done .-. I have no idea what have just happened and if my rambling even makes sense but not that I care at this point. If you read this far, please drink some water now, that was a lot of reading to go through ❤️

Tagging: @wir-ro, @saecookie and any other 8 people who might want to ksks (im too tired to tag lmao)

Don't be like me and go to bed at reasonable hours despite this whole quarantine thing .-. thank again Doreen for tagging since it was really fun 🥺❤️

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