#its that........ propelling u so mUCH. so high together.

[3416]

was rereading some articles pre-playoffs of 21-22 and just................ . just. "it's possible neither could achieve their current heights without the other, but that's not a real worry when they do have each other... this transcendent level they've shown this year is a testament to how much the duo elevates each other."

[deluluass]

Attention

Since requests are open again, can i request a yan!bokuto developing a crush with one of the other teams' managers during their training camp? 👀             

for: @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa​. hi bestie 😔 this is late (again), but i hope u like it 😍

Content warnings: rape/noncon; nsfw; underage drinking; (slight) sub!Bokuto👀; mild footplay

Three minutes. 

Three minutes and forty-five seconds, to be exact, before the truth came for you like a ball careening towards your blindside: 

  You’re not supposed to be here .

  Granted, the thought had already slinked its way into your brain ever since you’d overheard the coach crying on his phone, his wife on the other side of the line, that if he hadn't groveled and appealed to his college friend’s sense of honor, as he’d sniffled, they wouldn’t have even considered the team ( your team) to be worthy of receiving an invitation to this training camp. 

  Ignoring the worries that came after that was supposed to be easy. It shouldn’t have come at all . It’s irrational and it doesn’t help anyone. What was the point in fretting? Your boys are more than deserving— more than capable in fact —of going toe to toe with some of Tokyo’s best. 

  It’s also a given that those people don’t know anything about your team. You do live in a town half a day’s ride away from the capital. And how could you expect city folk to recognize a team that hails from a place where the cows outnumber the people three to one?

  They’re bound to not know.

  But the needless unease stayed and soon took a life of its own, the weight of it becoming heavier and heavier over the course of the weeks that you waited for that dreaded day, like a hungry beast that you diligently fed with your little what-if’s. 

  What if that place eats us alive?

  What if they make fun of us? 

  What if, despite trying our hardest, all we do is lose? 

  What if these people take a single look at us and think that we’re not good enough?

  What if they’re right?

  The deep chasm on the scoreboard tells you exactly that, plain and without a hint of artifice.

  Shinzen High has already scored five points. 

  Your team is still stuck at zero.

  And the clock continues to tick.

  “Chance ball!” 

  Your captain's voice was feeble against the noise of the ball being passed from one hand to another. 

  Odd, that. 

  Itsuki's not the type to pull his punches. Especially in the middle of a game; always one to use his entire chest when launching back at his enemies with a guttural roar.

  You looked at the players standing on your side of the court— really looked at them, in a way that you should have instead of wasting your time entertaining those doubts— and found nary a trace of your teammates among those too-stiff, too-quiet boys that bore an uncanny resemblance to a bunch of rabbits caught in the headlights.  

  A chuckle erupted from your chest, surprising even you.

  "Something funny?" the coach asked, his glance turning wary when you convulsed in a fit of shrill giggles. 

  "Yeah," you told him, shaking your head. “There is, Coach.”

  From the bored expressions on your opponents’ faces to Shigeru’s (failed) attempt to set for Koyama, all the way to an audience that wasn’t even looking, who were, frankly, much more interested in what's on their phones than what’s in front of them. 

  How can you not find this funny?

  You were worried about... this ? 

  You sighed, your head the clearest that it’s ever been in a long while, and stood from your seat on the bench. 

  The coach called out your name in a harsh whisper. You ignored him, not even bothering to explain yourself. After all, you’ve already spent too much of your energy on the wrong things. 

  And so, in the most polite way that you could, you shouted:

  “Hey! What the fuck is this!”

  Everyone might've gawked; the coach may have pulled you back to the bench with a strength that you didn’t know he possessed. There’s something much more important than being respectable, though. 

  “None of us ever cared about what these assholes think!” you pressed on, staring down at Takami, whose dad never fails to remind him that he’ll waste away his life fooling around with that useless club . “So, why,” you ask with a clear voice, “Why are we starting now?!”

  Of course, just like any of your spur of the moment ideas, that hadn’t ended the way you hoped it would.

  They still lost (they also did in the following game). All of the coaches (including yours and excluding the one from Nekoma High; that one just patted your back) had expressed their disapproval over what you did. You couldn’t regret it, however, no matter how humiliating their rebukes made you feel.

  Because you don’t think you’ve seen any of your teammates look the least bit happy since you set foot into this place. But, now— even with the fact that all they've achieved so far is keep the floors clean with their diving laps— now, they do.

  With that, it seems to you then that this place isn’t so bad, after all.

A day.

  A day and ten hours, approximately, had already passed when Bokuto felt your presence acutely like the stinging red imprint a hurtled ball leaves on his skin. And just like the circumstances that lead to that bloodied, angry marking, you made your existence known with just as much force as a player spiking for the kill. 

  Some of them guffawed, out of disbelief and sheer delight both, because in all the years that they’ve trained together in preparation for the interhigh, they don’t think anyone has ever called them a bunch of “assholes” before.

  They didn’t think much about that new team that arrived too late. So, yeah, Bokuto wanted to laugh, too, just like others. ‘ What a way to make an impression, huh?’ he wanted to say.

  That wasn’t what he said, though. 

  Bokuto wasn’t even able to say anything. 

  He was too busy staring at your mouth, the resoluteness in your lips as if you knew exactly what to say; the way you looked at your teammates, like there was nobody else more astounding, more unbeatable at this game than the boys before you (though, surely, even you can see that they’re far from being any of those things). 

  And yet, there you were, your eyes incandescent; they might as well have been on fire, blazing with so much awe and unshakable faith and it was so clear for everyone to witness and— and Bokuto did not know what to do with it. 

  It was so embarrassing, truth be told. Bokuto may not be the most secretive guy around, but when the others eventually pointed out that he looked scared at the thought of facing them ( you ), he just couldn’t help but sulk.

  “We’re not half the cheerleader she is, Bokuto-san,” Yukie teased him, patting his shoulder as she did, “but rest easy, we’ll try our best to boost morale.”

  He just groaned, immediately locking his legs at a stand still when the others hooted, ‘Look at him! He looks like he’s about to piss himself bouncing his legs like that . ’ Really, what was he supposed to say?

  Because, when he finally faced your team with that net in between and as he felt the ball against his palms when he aimed for a clean hit towards the floor, it’s not even fear that rushes through him. 

  Not even close.

  Beyond the defeated faces, of the exhaustion slathered all over your team’s barks after each point he snatched under their noses, Bokuto saw you looking at him. 

  Just a flicker; a passing peek before that determined gaze settled back on the others. But it was there all the same: the pause in your breath as the ball detonated against your teammate’s frail arms, clutching the edge of the bench with your fingers as if it took everything in you to keep yourself from running towards the court.

  To rush towards him. 

  To— to what ? Exactly? To scream at his face the same way you did earlier? That he's going too rough and hurting your precious friends?

  There’s a part of him that wishes to stop. A strange, alien feeling that he supposes comes from the discomfort at the sight of you so troubled and wound up.

  Oh, but you're just starting to understand! 

  That if there's someone who's truly astounding, unbeatable, and staggeringly brilliant at this game, it's him . And Bokuto wanted to drive that point home like he's never wanted anything else in his entire life. 

  His body stopped feeling like his own by the second set. 

  His legs were too light to be his, like there were coil springs underneath his feet that carried him higher and higher he swore he could brush the roof with his fingertips. 

  There’s a thrumming in his flesh that propelled Bokuto to move faster, to push that ache over the edge until there’s nothing left but the breathless exhilaration of seeing his opponents kiss the ground.

  The air is getting thinner, like he’s scaling towards a mountain top as he sprints towards the other side of the court, long strides eating up the floor, uncaring for the sweat pouring down his cheeks.

  Bokuto was willing to let this thing go on forever and ever and ever , for as long as he feels the searing heat of your eyes on him.

  Until he turned his head in your direction. 

  You were smiling at something a spectator said. 

  He couldn’t hear it, but whatever it was it had pushed you to make a teasing remark to your team.

  A banter ensued.

  The referee blew his whistle as a warning.

  You giggled.

  Why?

  “The ball, Bokuto!”

  Why aren’t you looking? 

  His hands were two weights keeping him down, made heavier by that sinking sensation in his chest.

  When did you stop looking? 

  It was too much, too unbearable that he could cry. The indifferent way you'd removed him from your line of sight was a sucker punch that's not as painful as the shame it leaves him with.

  Were you even looking at all? 

  And he wonders with a shuddering exhale as he finally gathered the strength to raise an arm, Bokuto wonders what would happen if, just this once, he shot the ball towards y— 

  “Bokuto-san.”

  Akaashi was calling out to him.

  “Bokuto-san, we already won."

  The ball within his grasp dropped. 

  Bokuto watched it bounce on the floor until it rolled over to somebody else's waiting palm.

  He took a deep breath— in and then out, repeated it until everything came into sharp focus —and raised his head to squint at the scoreboard.

  22-3

  So they did.

  The other side of the court was already empty, your team assembled to one corner; you were out of sight.

  Everyone started to gather around him.

  They took Bokuto along with their cheers and reprimands and accusations, like a strong current that carried him from the bench to the shower room, laughing as they handed him a towel, having noticed that he’d been too out of it to do anything else but stay half-naked in front of the sink. 

  “Are you alright, Bokuto-san?” he heard Akaashi ask over the teeming excitement surrounding them. 

  Blinking, Bokuto paused from wiping his bare torso as he replied, “Me?”

  Their setter only nodded.

  “Yeah!” Bokuto exclaimed, a tad louder than he ought to. “Yeah, dude! Of course! Never been better!”

  “You were a man possessed," Masaki, still fresh from the shower, suddenly drawled from behind him. 

  “You were... quiet,” Ubugawa’s captain continued, reaching for the toothpaste laid next to Akaashi. “It was unlike you.”

  Bokuto was about to say something, somewhere along the lines of “Really? I didn’t notice” when Daiki made his decision to wring the wet shirt in his hand, brandish it like a belt, and strike Bokuto’s back with it, the impact cutting across the room. 

  “You little..!” Bokuto turned with a snarl, poised and ready to throw the boy over his shoulder.

  “Let it go, let it go,” Daiki chortled, grabbing Bokuto by his damp hair. “That’s for not giving us a warning, alright? Crazy bastard.”

  Daiki shook his head as he walked away. “Never seen the idiot go hard like that,” he mumbled.

  “That’s our ace for ‘ya!” Haruki echoed from his cubicle, to which the others responded with wolfish howls and sharp whistles, completely transforming the shower room into a tiled rainforest. 

  And Bokuto wanted to join along, because although the game still felt like an abrupt, fever dream, he’s well aware that he did something that he’s going to be proud of in the days to come. But somehow— for some unknown, beguiling reason, all he could do was stand there and make himself vulnerable to Kuroo’s antics.

  The Nekoma captain looked at Bokuto through the mirror, clicking his tongue before lamenting about “ those poor country boys ” and their “ ill luck ”.

  “Go easy on us small fries sometimes,” he added. “You were pretty scary back there.”

  Kuroo gave his nape a quick pat before he went for the lockers, leaving Bokuto to stare at his reflection, features obscured by the fog.

  Scary , he said.

  Scary, huh.

  A man possessed.

  Bokuto wonders about its meaning, what coach had meant earlier when he’d jokingly called him a beast. He contemplated what about him had led them to think that way, tried his best to be perceptible of any changes.

  His eyes were the same, although the pupils in the middle were large pools of tar, widened and leaving only the slightest space for the honeyed rim. 

  His hair was the same platinum color and still streaked with the same black lines, although untamed and in a disarray this time, with the strands sticking to his forehead. 

  Although flushed, his face was the same, over all.

  Everything seems to be right where they’re supposed to be.

  Although he’s huffing and puffing, creating more mist to cloud the mirror with. And when he tried to reach for the glass, he realized that his fingers were still trembling. His blood still surging as if his body had never left the court. 

  Then, it struck him.

  Bokuto holds his breath in anticipation, the truth of it right in front of him.

  There’s no monster here. 

  No man possessed either.

  Only a guy who’s helplessly, foolishly in love.

Announcing to an entire room of strangers that one is of the opinion that they're assholes, as it happened, was an effective way of making new friends.

  Of course, there was that awkward day-long explanation that you had to do for Yuki and Kaori and the others. An affair that wasn’t too different from a one-woman press conference that involved you expressing your regrets, revealing that, sometimes, when backed against a wall, you can be an impulsive clown with a glaring lack of filter (like: "No, no..! I didn't think you guys were actually- you know- ass- it just spilled-" and "Ah, geez, this is embarrassing.The heat was getting to me. I didn't mean it, really!" )

  But the girls had been kind enough to let bygones be bygones, assuring you that all they ever felt was a joyous combination of relief and wonder. Ubugawa's manager, Eri, (who'd shook your hand while holding back tears) even told you that seeing another girl in a veritable sausage fest that is the training camp was a miracle in itself. 

  "It was fun, actually," Mako once said when the two of you were assigned to carrot chopping duty. "You gave us something to talk about for a while."

  And even when the novelty of being a bumpkin with the mouth of a sailor soon faded, the bond that quickly bloomed between you and the other managers hadn't.

  It was unexpected, although not unwelcome.

  You couldn't help but laugh at yourself. How silly you'd been: coming into the city expecting a den of wolves and hunters armed to the teeth.

  In the span of two days thoughts of survival were replaced by the confidence that your boys would pull through; by a sense of ease that you didn't need to win all the time and that this place is not a battlefield, but a fertile ground for growth and learning. You didn't need to constantly be on your guard— knuckles up and gearing for a fight, you realized.

  Well — 

  For the most part, at least.

  Serving spoon in one hand and potholder in another, you reluctantly paused from preparing your team’s meal to whisper under your breath. "He's doing it again," you hissed.

  Kaori only gave you a preoccupied “hm?” as she plucked the ladle to fill the plain white ceramic bowls before her. “Who is?” she continued. 

  “Your captain,” you replied, taking care not to let him know that you're on the verge of melting under his not so subtle scrutiny.

  The lovely Fukurodani manager didn’t even miss a beat; without lifting her eyes away from the food, she raised her voice, just loud enough, to address the creature (spying) standing idly by the door. 

  “Say, Bo-kun,” Kaori called out and you watched, amazed, as he coughed out the water that he’s been making a great show of drinking. “Your mama must not have taught you that it's bad to ogle.”

  Bokuto Kotaro, Fukurodani’s ace and captain— a volleyball player that sits atop everybody else in this training camp, whose name is almost always followed by “one of the very best in the country”— quailed as his manager, the Great Kaori Suzumeda, blessed him with a smile veering on beatific. 

  “Oh-who-me?” he prattled, hands pointing at everything and nothing as he choked on his own words. “Didn’t see you there! What’s up! I was just passing by!”

  “In the middle of practice?” Kaori snickered. “ You ?” 

  The boy released a laughter that resonated in the empty cafeteria. 

  She sighed, dropping the ladle, and told him to “Just go, Bokuto.” He obediently complied, thank the gods, but not without an overzealous goodbye to Kaori, as if he’d never see her again when lunch was just half an hour away.

  He didn’t say anything to you. He didn’t need to, anyway. The lingering gaze that he directed towards you was enough.

  “Thank you,” you exhaled once you made sure you’re no longer within his earshot, plopping your head against Kaori’s soft arm.

  Her chuckle fluttered towards you, causing you to smile as she asked, “Is it that bad?”

  You could only nod, both as an affirmation and an effort to shake those golden, hawk-eyes out of your system.

  “I’ll talk to him,” she said after a few seconds of comfortable silence, the firmness in her voice making you stand upright and level with her.

  Common decency tells you that you should say no, to stop her and tell her that she didn’t really have to; that you shouldn’t make a big deal out of this. But, you’d never really been one to listen to what that part of your brain dictates.

  Taking her hand in yours, you gave it a light squeeze, incapable of doing anything else to convey your gratitude with a sob lodged in your throat.

  “He’s not a bad guy, our Bokuto,” Kaori soothed. “And for what it’s worth, he’s never been like this with someone he likes.”

  A grin lit up her face as you snorted, remembering the time someone had finally caught on to Bokuto’s newfound fixation. The uproar that it’d cause in the field when everyone was out enjoying slices of ripe watermelon. The unnecessary and, frankly, embarrassing anger that it’d pulled out of your boys after it's been revealed to the whole world. The infamous blush on Bokuto Kotaro’s face as he desperately tried to deny the accusation. 

  And the cold, spent feeling it left you.

  “Normally, he’d be all over them,” she continued, mimicking his owl-like way of moving, bobbing her head to and fro as she circled around you.

  “Kaori!” you squealed, pushing her playfully by the shoulder. 

  “Bokuto would be like—” Kaori pumped her fists in the air, “ Hey, hey, hey! Talk to me! Talk to me! Compliment me! Love me! ”

  You simply hummed, folding your arms against your chest as you commended her spot-on performance. 

  She didn’t need to tell you all that, though. The guy had a personality so big it’s a miracle how this city contains him. And you’d known from the very beginning that Bokuto Kotaro doesn’t seem like the type to do the whole “pining from a distance” thing. 

  But, they even said that he’s half in love with you already, with the way he follows you with his eyes and flails and stutters and acts like he’s never had a mouth and a pair of hands before whenever he’s around you. And that, somehow, he plays even better than he already does when you’re in the audience ( especially when it’s against your team). 

  You don’t bother to correct them and say that no, this might not be a silly little crush.

  Because you don’t think that anyone but you would understand that there can never be any love nor infatuation in a stare that traps you with its expectations. Even if you did tell them that, you’re the only one who knows what Bokuto’s gaze really makes you feel like: A plaything that he’s been gifted to and was told would sing and dance for him just so he’d stop crying. 

  And you know what temperamental children do with toys that don’t work the way they want it to, don’t you?

  “Trust me.”

  Kaori’s gentle voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

  “He’s just an idiot,” she told you. “You’ve seen him— especially last week!” Kaori’s eyes bulged out, leaning closer to you, both of you gasping at the memory.

  Tears sprung out of your eyes as you laughed harder, your stomach aching when Kaori began to recount the events that had turned the entire training camp on its head, forever planting itself in its history as the worst ordeal it’s ever faced:

  A piece of the wall in the girls’ sleeping room broke off, revealing a large, Lovecraftian nest of cockroaches. 

  “If you’d only seen his face!” Kaori cackled, struggling to finish as she clutched onto you for support. “He burs- bursted into the room only for him to- to-”

  “Pass out when a roach flew to his nose! I know !” you screeched and slapped the table with her, ignoring that you’re almost knocking over the food and chortling until you were close to having a heart attack.

  “Oh- oh , I can’t breathe,” she groaned. Your laughter tapered off into heaving as you fixed her mussed bangs. 

  You smiled. 

  “See,” Kaori finally said, pinching your chin a little. “Bokuto’s a meathead. Just a meathead. Guy can’t get a clue. But he’ll come around once he realizes that he’s being weird.”

  “Yeah,” you murmured, giving her a weak nod. "I'm sure he will."

  You didn't know if you meant to say that with a hint of irony; if that scared farm girl is rearing her ugly head again and pointing a pitchfork at a monster of her own making.

  A monster that, you're convinced, would do something more than just look once you're within its reach.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

  Bokuto even had it all figured out in his head. C’mon, he's got the looks, doesn't he? And he's not lacking in charm. In fact, he's oozing with it! That's why Bokuto had expected that he had this one in the bag. His game plan was foolproof: 

  Talk to the girl. Get the girl.

  After that, you’d be together for the rest of your lives and your fiery, unrelenting support for that lousy team of yours would never go in vain ever again. Because it’d all be directed to him. All that “ Good job! ” and “ You were amazing back there! ” and “ Don’t be scared! I’ll be right here rooting for you! ” would finally be given to someone who actually deserves it.

  All you had to do was see what he had to offer and baby— oh baby , how you'd love him. No force on Earth could have prevented Bokuto from making you his.

  So it's all the more sobering now that Bokuto’s witnessed that the said force turned out to be him of all people. And what he could actually give you was a few stumbling lines and compliments that didn't even make any sense (“ Y-your face smells nice ” for example)— all (preferably) uttered a few feet away from you. 

  The others teased him for looking like a jilted witch casting a spell on an indifferent lover. “What are you? Speaking in tongues or something? Is the Great Horned Owl that desperate?” they poked at him. He didn’t mind them before, but now he’s not so sure.

  " Tone it down, okay? " Kaori had reminded him again earlier this afternoon. That stern talking-to from their manager was an ice-cold bucket of water that doused what’s left of his optimism. 

  But, tone what down? What , exactly, is left to tone down?

  He couldn’t even talk to you without losing his ability to string coherent words together, let alone get close to you. Eye contact, too, he’d deliberately restrained himself from doing (if only you knew how much this is hurting him!) and not just because he’d been deemed a complete and utter creep. 

  Bokuto couldn’t look you in the eye ever since that incident.

  “ She’s helping the other girls carry their stuff to the other room, I saw them just now ,” Yamamoto had discreetly passed on as soon as he woke up from a terrible concussion. “And if you want to redeem yourself, my friend, after that humiliating performance, you’d better go out there and lend a hand. ”

  Because Yamamoto, being the love expert that he proclaimed he was, told him, “ Look, I feel for you. But it’s simple. You just gotta show her what you’re made of. That you’re a man she can depend upon, ” Bokuto then persevered to follow through.

  Only for him to be met by an empty room with bits of crumbled plaster scattered across the floor. And your bag in the furthest corner just...lying there.

  Maybe you’d forgotten about it. Maybe you were too busy catering to your friends' needs that you'd forgotten about yourself.

  Either way, Bokuto promises that it wasn’t on purpose. 

  Bokuto had good intentions, really! He just wanted to take the bag with him so he could give it to you, is all! It wasn’t his fault that some of your stuff was peeking through the half-opened zipper. It’d already been in that state when he saw it. 

  And- and it’s not his fault that he adores you too much. 

  Bokuto reminds himself as much as he propped his forehead against the bathroom wall, water from the shower pouring against the taut muscles on his back as he wrapped your underwear around his cock. 

  The baby pink fabric, every inch of it soiled now over the days that he's used it, rubbed  against his balls when he began fondling them, his other hand caressing his nipples, rubbing and pinching at the peaks until they stiffened between his calloused fingers.

  His cock grew hard and heavy in his hand as he started pumping into his fist, fucking your soaked panties until precum dripped from slit.

  And with nobody else in the shower room, Bokuto allowed himself to grunt and curse and call out your name, digging his nails into his skin until it stung and made him want to cry.

  "Make me cum, princess," he whined, shutting his eyes to watch you on your knees, fingers between your legs as you looked up at him, never taking your eyes off of him even as you took his cock down your throat.

  "Please, please ," Bokuto groaned,"Please let me cum."

  Here, you don't turn away nor brush him off without even saying anything. Here, you call him your baby and you chuckle as you ask him, " Good boys deserve to cum, don't they? "

  He bit his lip, pressing his cheek against the freezing tile. "Mmhmm, I-I've been-" Bokuto moaned, feeling himself creep closer and closer, the pleasure at the pit of his stomach building, "I've been so fucking good for you."

  The contrast of your pretty little underwear around the thick veins of his cock made his head spin. And as he squeezed his shaft tighter, Bokuto knew that he did, in fact, deserve so much more.

  Because he's endured so much just for you. Now, it's time to get what he's due. 

Scouring high and low for a pair of cotton panties that have seen better days wasn’t how you wished you’d celebrate the last night with your newfound friends. 

  Yuki had advised that you abandon the ratty, old thing (though you did say it wasn't; ratty, that is) and leave it here as a parting gift— a mark of your impact on their lives, if you will— but you’d quickly laughed her off and set out to find it. She was drunk, anyway.

  Although, so were you. If not, then just a tiny, itsy, bitsy, bit tipsy.

  You hiccuped, giggling as the sound echoed through the poorly-lit hallway. The world was spinning beneath you and you prayed that it wasn’t worse for poor Yuki, having chugged half of that horrid concoction. 

  Kaori almost threw her out of the window after that stunt. Mako scoffed at her for being an arrogant ass. The girls who weren’t drinking sat back and chose to enjoy the unfolding chaos (while also being kind enough to be on the lookout).

  And you...well...right now you’re on the verge of breaking down as you make your way to the shower room. 

  Mostly because you’re just realizing that you might never see them again if your team doesn’t survive the Inter High. Partly because you’ve been dumb enough to not notice that you’ve been missing an underwear for a couple of days now. 

  God, it's so ridiculous. You're ridiculous. You're glad that you went on your own and rejected their offer to accompany you. Imagine if they saw you like this:

  Oscillating between sobs and strained laughter while swaying on your feeble legs; the very picture of a lunatic out in the streets in the middle of the night.

  You only hoped that you're not scaring the living daylights out of that guy who probably just went out of the boys' room to pee. Maybe you have already spooked him, with how still he's gotten.

  Cupping your palms around your mouth, you saw fit to save his sanity and cried, "Heyyyy! I'm not- hic - a ghost!" 

  "Oh!" you gasped, raising a pointing finger to shush yourself, "Oh, yeah, sorry, shhh-" 

  He didn't run the other way screaming and crying, which was good, instead he approached you hurriedly, making you squint to get a better look at him.

  "Koyama?" you whispered, struggling to recognize the tall boy with a sturdy build, his navy blue hoodie casting a shadow on his face. It didn't help that your eyes were doing something funny, as if they were busted camera lenses that went uncontrollably in and out of focus.

  "Good evening, my dear! I daresay you're looking quite bur- burl- blurry tonight."

  You cackled, immediately following your greeting with a slurred apology.

  "Why- Why are you still- um- up?" he asked. And before you could volley him with a question pointing to his weirdly different voice, he brought his head down to sniff at you. "Wait- have you b- are you drunk ?"

  "What! No! Of course not!" You pouted and airily slapped his cheek, drawing a lopsided grin out of you when his skin glowed pink, bright enough to light up the entire place. It was so remarkably adorable that it made you squeal and pinch both cheeks, rocking his face as you did.

  "Look at our big boy!" A sheepish, almost disbelieving chuckle shook his large chest as you resumed your baby talk, your grabby hands bringing his face towards you.  "Who would've thought that our stwong, wowdy ace could bwush wike so? And what's with this siwwy hoodie, huh? Where did you get this, bunnycakes? I've never seen you wear this before!"

  You wondered, also, why and how his jet black hair turned pallidly gray over the few hours you hadn't seen him. You even brushed the mildly damp locks out of his forehead, unsure if they're even real as you tried to right your smudged vision.

  And you wanted to blame it all on the alcohol.

  It's the reason for that dramatic change in his tone and manner of speaking and hair color and...those eyes .

  The very same pair that followed you everywhere, sometimes even in your sleep.

  "You love me, after all," he breathed, the statement a thin sheet of glass that could blow into smithereens at just the wrong response.

  That had been enough to drain the inebriation out of your body. Like being branded, you pulled away from Bokuto with a harsh curse.

  "I- I have to go," you said. "Sorry, I thought you were Ko- my teammate."

  But Bokuto had already laid hold of your arm with no intent of letting go.

  "Stay!" Bokuto called out, repeating it with please and listen despite your outcries, shouting for Kaori and Yuki and Mako and Shigeru and Takami and Coach and Koyoma and anyone, help me, anyone.

  Until he tugged you to his chest, wrapping himself around you and turning his entire body into a concrete prison as he fervently told you, "I love you. I love you so much ever since the first time I saw you and I know, I know you feel the same so if it's the distance that's keeping you from me I can come to you I'll follo-"

  "Nothing's keeping me from jackshit!" you gritted out. "I don't love you! I don't even care about you!"

  He didn't say anything to that. 

  Bokuto had gone quiet. It wasn't only until he nuzzled your neck, pressing his face snugly down the crook, that you decided to kick him with all your strength, breaking yourself free as your heart thundered out of your chest.

  You didn't look back.

  You dashed through the long, endless hallway with the air in your lungs dangerously running low and keeping you from screaming.

  But the remnants of the alcohol were lead that weighed your feet to the ground, betraying you further by morphing your surroundings into a hazy, dizzying scape. You teetered and wobbled, desperate to reach that staircase that will lead you out of this floor, but each step that you took was not fast enough, not nimble enough, as if you’re wading through knee-deep water. 

  And before you know it the monster has caught up and is ready to pounce from right behind you.

  “Get your hands off me!” you wailed as Bokuto heaved you by the waist and carried you over his shoulder. 

  The sudden upending of your world was so nauseating, you didn’t even notice that he’d already taken you to an almost pitch black classroom, its heavy curtains drawn together and the empty chairs and tables pushed to the side. 

  His large, sprawling hand was gripping your ass, your stomach lurching when you felt him caress it. Yet that didn’t deter you from hitting whichever part of him that your knuckles and feet could touch, ignoring the trail of your own spit that dripped on your face as you howled and thrashed and fought to keep yourself together because no one was hearing you.

  What’s left for you, now? Your captor was so strong, much stronger than you, that even when he tripped on his toes, Bokuto was able to catch himself and drop you on the nearest table in just a single breath. 

  “Stop fighting me..!” he panted, holding you down as he knelt before you. “I’m not gonna hurt you! I- ow! Don’t-”

  Bokuto’s grip on your wrists was unbudgeable. So, you didn’t miss the chance to bite him when he covered your mouth with his palm. Teeth chattering, you broke the tough flesh, sunk them sharply until the taste of salt and iron flooded your tongue.

  You expected that it would push him away. Give you the leverage to escape.

  That turned out to be a mistake.

  His honey-gold eyes glinted as he stared deep into yours. Every hair on your body stood on end when the corners of his lips slowly lifted, eyes still fixed on you as he released a bubbly, childlike laughter.

  “I've always wanted to do this to you," he sighed giddily. 

  The helplessness chipped at your insides bit by torturous bit when all you could do was rock the table with your flailing, while Bokuto had already crouched lower— low enough to pull the hem of your thin shorts with his teeth.   

  He watched you weep with a sickening display of dejection, like he's some dog that's been shoved around by his master.

  "Please don't cry," Bokuto whined, peppering soft kisses all over the insides of your thighs then licking off the beads of sweat that covered the goosebumps. 

  You’re not giving up. 

  You couldn’t give up.

  You pushed and gnawed and tore skin that you’re sure every inch of his palm is littered with fresh bruises, but this only seemed to encourage Bokuto, drawing out his drugged out moans as he spat on your clothed cunt, drool leaking down to your folds before he lapped at the wet spot. The moistened fabric scratched and rubbed against your clit to the point of quivering and writhing in his clutch. 

  “Oh, I know , baby,” Bokuto murmured, using the tip of his tongue to flick at the swollen nub. “I’ll make you feel real good soon.”

  Shaking your head, the unwiped tears gathering around your eyelids dropped to his long, calloused fingers. And you wanted to screech, to tell him to go to hell as he swirled his tongue all over your embarrassingly slick hole.

  No, you wanted more than that. 

  You wanted to drive your bare hands into his chest.

  But that’s not what you did, is it?

  When Bokuto finally removed his hand from your mouth, what slipped past your lips wasn’t the sound of a woman ready to kill. Instead, you sounded like a little girl begging to be carried home. And that hadn’t been the part that scared you, really.

  It was the fact that no matter how much you tried to scream, nothing was coming out.

  “L-let me go,” you wheezed, your voice cracking. “Or- or else.”

  “Or else?” Bokuto replied, eliciting a gasp from you as he sniffed your throbbing, wet cunt. “Look at me, princess.”

  “ Look at me ,” he repeated pleadingly, frustration giving his tone a rough edge, as he brought the hand that once suppressed your attempts to call for help to skim past your thigh and stroke the sole of your feet. “Just this once. See me.”

  You kept your eyes closed, even as he kissed your toes and brought it down to his crotch, forcing you to dig your heel into the bulge jutting out. He rocked his hips, gyrating slowly, his cock hardening under your feet, as he whimpered into your leg.

  “Please, please fuck me, please ,” Bokuto mewled. “I’ll do any- anything for you.”

  Profanities rushed out of you, but no one could hear them. Not even you. Perhaps that's why he didn’t flinch when he lugged you down to straddle on his lap.

  “Use me, baby,” he whispered, grinning wide as he snaked his other hand to your back and dug his nails around your nape, laying on his back and taking you with him as he did, your tits crushed to his chest. 

  With your arms dying in his grip, Bokuto easily stripped his pants along with his boxers. Violent trembles wracked your body as he dragged your pussy along his thick shaft, back and forth, your damp panties riding up every time he thrusted upwards.

  His hot breath against your ear sent shivers down your spine as he giggled lowly, “Wanna cum inside you so fucking bad . Will you let me, hm? Please let me.”

  Of course you didn’t want to. It’s not like you’d stop struggling, either. It’s just that Bokuto would never listen to you. Even when he whimpered and babbled, “You don’t want to- fuck, your pussy’s all nice and wet - oh, you don’t want to? That's okay, that’s okay, baby,” Bokuto still slipped his cock inside your underwear.

  It slid past your lips up to your clit. And you’d never hated yourself more in your entire life when all you could do was stay limp and cry as the fat tip finally nudged your twitching hole.

  “No, no, don’t worry, sweetheart,” he whispered, scattering kisses on your neck, “It’s just the head- just the head.”

  As Bokuto groaned and rutted against you, all you wished for, in that moment, was for dawn to peek through the curtains and signal the end of this torment. But, still it went on with Bokuto stretching you open.

  And as he split you in half, you detachedly realized that you were right.

  This place did eat you alive.

[cheesyficwriter]

hellllo! can u do a double date with romione and hinny? :) i love ur fics!

Hi there, lovely anon! I apologize for the delay on this one. I finally settled on a date for our favorite couples after much deliberation. Hope you enjoy 💜

Adrenaline Rush

For many people, the sensation of flying through the air was welcomed. For Hermione, it did nothing but elicit panic. 

"No. No, absolutely not."

"Oh, come on, Hermione!"

"Can't we just go fly on one of your brooms? I won't complain ever again."

Ginny chuckled and wrapped an arm around Hermione’s shoulders, giving her a comfortable squeeze. "We already go for a fly all the time, Hermione. Besides, weren't you the one telling us that we needed to partake in Muggle recreational activities more often?" 

Hermione peered over the ledge she was standing on, her entire body shivering as she realized how high up off the ground they were. She was harnessed to a pulley attached to a cable that stretched at great length from a high elevation to a lower elevation. The notion that she was safely strapped on, and had listened vehemently to the instructor’s directions, did nothing to quell her fears. "I was wrong."

Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Ginny had all decided to go ziplining in a densely forested area. It was a high-wired adventure that Hermione wasn’t prepared for. 

Ron, noticing the extent of Hermione’s apprehension, nodded over at Harry and Ginny. "Hey, you two go on ahead. We'll catch up."

"Alright then, see ya down there!" Ginny grinned, and they both readjusted their harnesses to prepare for their flight. 

With a whoop and a holler, Harry was off, gliding down the cable line with ease.  

"IT'S JUST LIKE FLYING!" He shouted, his exuberant voice echoing off the trees. 

"Harry James Potter, you get back here!" Ginny called, waiting until he safely landed at the bottom of the slope before zipping after him. 

Hermione watched both of them go, mouth hanging agape, suddenly feeling even more intimidated by the speed of the pulley as it moved down the steeply slanted slope.

“A couple of show-offs, they are.” Ron laughed while shaking his head before snaking an arm around Hermione’s waist to hold her tight. She curled her body into his instinctively.  

They both observed the pair for a moment longer, eyes widening as Harry and Ginny embraced at the bottom before sticking their tongues down each other’s throats. 

Hermione wrinkled her nose. “They are...definitely snogging.”

“Oi! Just because you’re down there, doesn’t mean we can’t still see you!” Ron shouted as Harry and Ginny cackled with laughter from below. “Blasted gits,” he muttered under his breath.

Hermione whimpered, burrowing her face into Ron’s jacket as the wind around them picked up. 

“Love,” Ron murmured next to her ear, “Look at me.”

Hermione hesitantly raised her head and met Ron’s gorgeous blue eyes and brilliant smile. He gently grazed her cheek with the pads of her thumb. 

“I know you can do this. How about I go down first? That way, you’ll know I’ll be there waiting for you — I’ll make sure you land properly on your feet.”

Hermione’s heart swelled with love for the man holding her tight. He truly was a gentle giant, and spoke so tenderly to her that she would almost do anything he asked. 

After a long, thoughtful moment, Hermione inhaled deeply and nodded slowly. “I suppose we could try that.” 

“Don’t forget, Hermione, I will still be here to ensure that you take off okay,” the instructor interjected from behind, standing just far enough away to give them privacy. 

Ron swiftly kissed her on the cheek and released his hold on her, making Hermione tremble without the heat of his body. He reached for the pulley as he balanced precariously on the edge of the wooden platform. 

“See you on the other side.” He sent her a final wink before gliding down the cable line with a series of exclamations that naturally involved quite a few expletives. It was Ron, after all. 

The instructor walked forward to readjust the cable line, flashing a wide smile back at her. “Alright, Hermione, you are free to go. Just remember to place your right hand flat behind the pulley when you are ready to start slowing down. Have fun!” 

Hermione took a deep breath, walking forward and grabbing hold of her harness. Cheers erupted from the bottom of the line. 

“Come on, Hermione, you’ve got this!” Ginny screamed. 

Hermione willed her eyes not to look down as she stepped as close as she could to the edge without sitting back and lifting her feet off the platform. 

She closed her eyes to steady her breathing. Don’t think, just do. This is an opportunity to challenge yourself and broaden your horizons. 

Repeating her verbal mantra inside her head over and over, Hermione allowed her heart and her body to take flight. Letting gravity take its course, she propelled herself down the cable. 

She sailed along the treetops at lightning speed, gasping for air, overcome by exhilaration from the feeling of flying through the air that literally took her breath away. Hermione found herself grinning from ear to ear as she continued to soar along the cable line — she was in a bird’s natural habitat, flying amongst the trees. Off in the distance, she even spotted massive waterfalls cascading over a rocky mountain. 

The view was magnificent. 

She squealed louder as Ron’s grinning face came closer and closer into view, and she closed her eyes as she braced herself to stop. 

In the next moment, Hermione was crashing into a solid body with a loud “oomph”. 

“Open your eyes, love,” Ron whispered in her ear, and she let her eyelids flutter open to firstly find the freckles that were peppered along the bridge of his nose. 

“Told you I’d be here when you landed.” He smirked at her in such a heated way that Hermione had every intention of pulling him forward to snog him senselessly. 

“So? What did ya think?” Ginny butted in, resting her chin on Ron’s shoulder from behind. He rolled his eyes, likely irritated by their interrupted kiss. 

“It was...I mean…” Hermione fumbled, placing a hand on her chest, directly over her rapidly beating heart. 

“An adrenaline rush?” Harry finished for her, raising his eyebrows wickedly. 

It certainly was. And there was nothing better than the shared adrenaline bringing the four of them together. 

[obiwhat]

thank you so much @volleyball-idiot for the req luv!! sorry it took a lil while, i sort of wrote,,,, a LOT,,, hehehee hope u enjoy!! 🥺🤲💗💗

Always

(AO3)

warnings: violence, language, blood, the usual expedition madness

A knock echoed through Erwin’s office room as the sound of rain on his windowsill threatened to wash it out entirely. But he knew that knock. Three sharps raps on the wood meant his loyal captain. It meant Levi was here, late in the night.

“Come in.”

The door opened quickly as he walked into the room, as familiar with the space as his own office. With a quick glance up he could see Levi’s usually stoic face seemed to be drooping into a deep frown. Erwin knew what had caused it. The captain had heard about the expedition plans. This late night meeting was to be expected, but his nerves still hung low in his stomach. 

Levi jumped straight into it.

“Have you seen our numbers from the last recruitment? We don’t have nearly enough trained soldiers to protect the east side. They hardly even know the formation.” Levi pointed out, he didn’t like the look in Erwin’s eyes. It meant he was well aware of the fault in the formation.

“That’s why I will lead from that section.” 

“You?” One eyebrow rose. The rest of the section leaders had also seemed concerned when he’d told them this, but most tended to blindly trust his calls. Levi wasn’t like them.

“Yes. Me.” Erwin repeated himself, eyes remaining on his stack of papers below. He knew what he was getting himself into with this plan, including the displeasure it would cause Levi.

“May I ask why the hell you would be the one to lead them?” 

It was a fair enough question.

“They will be weaker on that side and I know the formation best, I will be able to instruct them as we go.” Erwin explained, straightening himself.

“That’s the most idiotic idea I’ve ever heard. Why don’t we just wait a few weeks and drill some common sense into them?” 

“We don’t have the time. You know the interior is pressuring us to have new reports by next week. If we don’t deliver again, they’ll defund us entirely. The expedition will commence as planned tomorrow morning.”

“Erwin.” 

Levi’s teeth were gritting together, Erwin finally peeled his eyes from the paper below to truly look at him. He was practically oozing with anger, confusion, something else he couldn’t name. He wanted to look away as soon as he’d seen him.

“I won’t let you throw yourself away like this. For what? A little write up for the interior?” He sucked in breath through his teeth. “I won’t let you.” 

His hands were tightening into balls at his sides, for a moment Erwin thought he might try to knock him out right now, to miss the expedition entirely.

“Levi. I appreciate your concern. But the facts remain. I am replaceable.” He swallowed. “If I am to die tomorrow the chain of—”

“Replaceable...?” 

Erwin was expecting a lash out. He expected Levi to break everything fragile in the room. To break his nose along with it. But the anger was long gone now. He just looked broken. As if that simple word had broken off a piece of him.

The commander straightened himself in his desk chair with a creak and remained firm in his positioning. This was for humanity. This was essential.

“Yes.” He turned his head down to the papers below again. This wasn’t how he wanted to say his goodbyes. But it was the only way. “Was that all, Levi?”

“Don’t talk to me like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t talk to me like this doesn’t matter! Like you don’t fucking matter!!” He yelled now. Anger pulsing from him in shivers as he slammed a fist on Erwin’s desk. 

“Where does that leave me, huh? What the hell am I supposed to do then?” 

“Your duty.” 

Levi sucked in a sharp breath. He couldn’t find Erwin’s eyes, as he hid them from view. He blocked him out. Put a thick wall between them to make it easier. 

Was that all? 

Was there nothing else he would say to him? 

There was just duty and orders holding them together? 

After all of these years…

Levi felt his world collapse. He was unconsciously holding his breath tight in his lungs as his eyes traced Erwin’s form. There was nothing he could say or do to change his mind. This was set in stone. 

—

The forest was quiet.

There wasn’t much to be said in the first place.

The faces of the sparse recruits held crippling fear as they passed through the overgrown trees. Surely, they knew what their situation was now. Not even the presence of their commander could soothe their anxieties. 

It wasn’t long until the first set of footsteps was heard. Titans from the rear. Erwin shot the warning flare for them as soon as he noticed it, recognizing the sound immediately. 

Just one. Slowly coming about the rear as some hardly trained soldiers screamed at it in horror. It was probably their first time ever seeing one. It would most likely be their last.

For just then, Erwin noticed something off about it. It was bending low as it walked, as if it were about to… 

The titan started leaping and sprinting sporadically, heading full speed into the back row of the soldiers. It grabbed them left and right, tearing through them in seconds. 

An abnormal… Perfect…

The back row was demolished in a wave of blood and terror as other young soldiers seemed stunned with paralyzing fear. They watched their comrades die out in a blink of an eye. In moments, there were hardly any recruits remaining. They would have to outrun it, there was no use fighting if he’d have to manage on his own. Erwin knew this. These few untrained soldiers were no match for an abnormal.

“Scatter!” Erwin choked out a demand as another recruit was smashed into the ground beside him and scraped up to be eaten whole. 

There were flashes of bodies flying from his peripheral vision. Screams of horror and pain that years of service allowed Erwin to block out. He kept his eyes trained forward as trees passed him by. His horse was fast but he could still hear the heavy footsteps gaining on him. 

“Switch to ODM gear now!!” Erwin doubted if anyone was left to hear him anymore, the screams were dying out. His wires spread out in front of him and propelled him forward, through the mass of trees.

Everyone in his section was dying in an instant. 

They never stood a chance. Maybe he knew this from the beginning. But the middle would be safe. The rest of them would be safe now. Levi would be… 

His duty was done. 

A hand slashed out to his side, barely missing him as he maneuvered around it. It was too fast. The titan would surely catch him any minute.

Another humongous hand was reaching for him as his gas got low from pushing it so hard. He was hardly hovering over the grassy ground. It wouldn’t be long now…

“Idiot!! Watch your left!”

A swift hand shoved him out of the way at the very last moment, just before a large fleshy fist could make a deadly impact.

He felt his breath flee his lungs in a hurry as he collided with the moss covered ground, tumbling on his back. He felt twigs and grass rough up his face as shock stole anyway any kind of conscious thought. 

It was a fate more desirable to that of the person who’d saved him, he knew. The impact dizzied his vision, so he couldn’t see what had happened to them. Erwin twisted on the ground, flailing his head around to see who had sent him flying. But he already knew. God, he knew that voice all too well.

His blue eyes were searching, frantic, in a haste to find him. To find Levi. Surely he’d survived. There was no movement, no sign of him anywhere.

The abnormal was racing back around. It looked confused, obviously having lost sight of its prey. Erwin used it’s confusion to his advantage and swung behind the trees, finding it’s neck and slashing a vengeful cut through it’s nape. He watched it fall as he perched himself high in the trees to have a better look around him. 

No sign of titans. No survivors. Just steam rising in the trees.

That’s when he finally spotted him, amongst the dead soldiers on the forest floor. 

Levi.

His body was curled up on his side in the leaves. Unmoving, unresponsive as Erwin began to cry his name.

No. 

No, no no.

He swung down, knees catching grass and moss as he slid to his captain’s side. His hands hovered over him, trembling without end. 

This can’t be happening. Not him. He wasn’t supposed to be here…

“Levi…?” His voice died in his throat as he turned the man over on his back and spotted red. Bright red dripping down his face steadily. It was coming from his hairline. Erwin brushed his hair back gently as his head hung low over the man. He kept his callus palm on his cheek.

He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. Everything in his vision went dark besides the bleeding form in front of him. Levi was all he could see. Maybe it had always been that way. The commander shut his eyes desperately as tears started to form. 

“Hey asshole.” It was barely a slurred rasp but Erwin huffed a laugh.

He felt a wave of breath leave his lungs. He could finally breathe again. Levi was awake. 

He was alive. 

“I thought you were… Levi… Don’t ever do that again.” There was no anger in his tone. He could barely speak as he caressed his cheek slowly, savoring the warm there. Levi’s warmth.

“I could say the same t’you.” He looked annoyed, but only on the surface. He was glad to see that Erwin made it out as well and that his desperate move paid off.

“You're slurring your words. You’re probably concussed.” Erwin knitted his eyebrows together and watched Levi’s gaze turn a bit glazed.

“T’would explain why there’s two of you.” He huffed a breath as he closed his eyes again, tightly.

“No, stay awake Levi. Don’t fall asleep.” Erwin commanded him, immediately drawing the man’s eyes open again. 

“Resting my eyes. M’head’s killing me.”

“Keep them open. Focus on my voice and stay awake.” 

Levi mumbled something incoherent as he watched the cogs turn in Erwin’s mind. Something he’d always found entertaining to see. Erwin ignored him and started untying the cravat from around his neck.

“Oi… Wh’you doing?”

“I need to wrap your head with something.” 

“No, you’ll get blood all’over it. S’disgusting.” He didn’t put up much of a fight as Erwin successfully pulled it off his neck.

“Levi, there already is blood all over it.” 

Head wounds tend to bleed more heavily. After years of service, he’d seen his fair share to know this well. The steady stream from Levi’s hairline had already found his white cravat and sank red into its porcelain color. Levi’s face fell into a frown as he saw it.

“Oh.” Levi spoke lazily as he watched Erwin gently tying it around his head. 

“Do you have any flares left?” He asked as he finished tying the wound tightly. Levi winced slightly in response.

He shook his head, then regretted it immediately as his vision continued to spin even when he stilled his gaze. “Probably lost’m when I fell.” 

“That’s alright. Surely one of the horses is still alive.” 

Erwin put his fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly. Desperate for any horse that might respond. If an abnormal had attacked them, that meant that others might be nearby. With little gas left and Levi’s current condition, they had to move quickly or they would die before sunset.

Thanking his sudden turn of luck for the day, Erwin noticed the familiar sound of hooves across the leaves of the forest. He gave the horse a grateful rub on its neck as it approached them. He turned to find Levi’s eyes closed again, he cursed.

“Hey.” He shook Levi’s shoulders softly, stirring him awake again. “What did I say about falling asleep? Keep your eyes open, Levi.”

“So bossy.” There was a nearly drunken look crossing the man’s face as Erwin gently lifted him off the ground. He groaned in pain at the sudden movement. Stars clouded his vision.

Erwin carried him up onto the saddle. The injured man tipped forward lazily as his dizziness threatened to engulf him for a moment. Erwin just barely caught him by the chest before he went tumbling right off the saddle.

“Stay awake, Levi.” He demanded again, his grip on his chest was firm and steady.

“Easy… you t’say.” 

Erwin could barely make out his words as he spotted sweat building on the man’s forehead. Levi’s speech was getting worse by the minute which meant his wound was taking its toll. For a moment, he wondered if moving him by horse was even a wise idea. 

They could wait for a rescue party. Survive in the trees for the time being. But would anyone actually come? If it were him, he wouldn’t waste the extra troops. With such little remaining as of late, they couldn’t afford it. Not even for the sake of the corps’ commander or Humanity’s Strongest. 

“M’fine. Would y’get on already?” Levi demanded, sounding rather sour about his current position, halfway hanging off the horse.

Erwin apologized quickly and swung his legs up onto the horse, letting Levi lean his head on his back. He felt familiar slim arms wrap around his middle like a lifeline. Levi’s hold was warm and solid, giving him the reassurance to keep moving forward. He took the reins and shook the horse into motion.

—

The constant bobbing of the horse was making Levi even more dizzy than before, he felt nausea start to creep into his stomach. He would be damned if he got sick on top of everything else.

Instead, he concentrated on the steady thumps of Erwin’s heartbeat in his ear. His commander. His everything. He was safe and warm in his clutch once again. The blood seeping through his cravat and onto Erwin’s jacket was worth it. Just to feel his heartbeat and know he would make it through another day. 

Erwin felt Levi’s arms go a bit slack. His nerves cried out in a wave of anxiety.

“Levi. Can you hear me?” He spoke loudly over the sound of the hooves hitting the ground in a haste. 

“Yeah, yeah. Quit yelling… m’head is gonna explode.”

“Sorry.” He spoke more quietly this time, leaning back a bit towards his captain so he could still hear him. “Are you dizzy at all?”

“Course I am. M’not gonna fall off the damn horse if that’s wh’you’re asking.” 

“Just keep holding tight and try to keep talking if you can, alright?”

“Fine.”

There was a beat of silence. Erwin couldn’t tell if he had fallen asleep or if he was simply thinking of something to say. He waited rather impatiently until he heard Levi’s raspy voice again.

“Erwin.”

“Yes? What’s wrong?”

“D’you still have that scar?” 

He knew exactly what he meant. They both had their fair share of scars, but one stood out. A thin cut along his right palm. From Levi’s blade, originally intended for his throat. All those years ago… 

“I think so. Yes.”

“Lemme see.” Then Levi was gripping at the fabric on his right arm. He switched the reins to his left and brought the arm down so Levi could grasp his hand. He traced the scar with his fingertips ever so gently. 

“I’m sorry.” It was quiet, but clear. As if Levi was trying especially hard to stop slurring his words together. This was something he really wanted Erwin to understand.

“Ever since then… Only wanted t’protect you… Not just because of… my duty… It’s more than that… I… Erwin…”

“Levi…” 

He felt his chest tighten with the anticipation of the words he knew were coming next. Unspoken for years between them. A forbidden phrase, buried deep inside them both.

“I love you.”

Erwin felt Levi’s breath heavy on his back. The way he sank into him like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. 

“Always have.”

He felt the wind rush through his blonde hair as a smile appeared on his lips. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled this wide. Of course only Levi could bring it out of him.

“I love you too.” He laughed. An honest laugh. He felt a weight lift from his shoulders as well. Years of action had proved these words over and over, but now, they were finally spoken aloud. “I love you, you absolute idiot.” 

“We’re both fucking… idiots.” Levi laughed too. Something Erwin was sure he’d let no one else hear but him. 

The sound of it made his heart flutter and tiny goosebumps form on his arms. He gripped his hand in his own, squeezing it softly.

Erwin suddenly spotted the formation up ahead on the horizon. They were close, they were going to spot them soon enough. Levi would be alright and they would continue their path of idiocy together for a good while longer.

“Almost there, love.” He squeezed the slender hand in his grip once again. A reassurance. A promise.

“When we get’back… you’re buying me a new cravat.” Levi breathed a soft sigh as he made his demand.

“Sounds like a deal.”

[alison-anonymous]

what the hair?! ♡ varian

What the Hair ♡ Varian Imagine

Requested: noootttt exactllyyy, but @technolilly gave me the idea. Darling, if you're reading this, let me know what you think!!! 😉😁

Warnings: lovestruck Varian😍

Summary: basically the first episode of the Tangled series, but I weaved the reader in and tweaked a couple things!

♡♡♡

Your life was incredibly complicated.

Like seriously, if someone were to give out an award for Most Complicated Life, you would win the title, hands-down. 

You were Y/n L/n, daughter of the infamous L/ns, or, as they are better known among the criminals as, the Kingdom Snatchers. Not a very creative name, but then again, their title was given to them by the puny-minded brains of burglars, thieves, and murderers. Your parents were villains who would weave their way into a perfect kingdom with the perfect Queen and King, and take over their kingdom before they reached dessert. They would murder the real Queens and Kings, imprison the citizens, and then leave the kingdom in ashes. They were driven to practical insanity from their corrupted, power-loving minds and became known and feared in all of the lands. Wanted posters littered the forests, offering generous amounts for their capture. But of course, anyone who tried to get close to them ended up dead.

And of course, after they had you, they tried to teach you their ways to become a Kingdom Snatcher so you could take over once they got old and withered. You were supposed to become a vicious, kniving, power hungry, and insane mass murderer/dictator/whatever the hell you want to call it.

There was only one problem.

You didn't want to be the bad guy.

Of course, your parents were furious. If you weren't willing to become an evil thief like them, then of what use were you to them? To have the ability to watch you grow up, living a happy and healthy life, making them proud that their daughter was able to find her own source of happiness in life? Ha! Your parents were killers! If you didn't want to join them, they might as well kill you and keep trying until one of their kids decided they loved the evil life.

And so, you did the only thing you really could do.

You ran away. You were only 7, hardly a child.

And as time went on, you learned how to fend for yourself against the treacherous ways of the world. You were alone for most of your life. And after a while, you began to fear that it might just stay that way. Until you met a certain blonde princess with seven feet of hair, and everything changed.  

♡♡♡

It was a bright, shiny morning; a morning that Rapunzel would fall in love with. You were out looking for the certain blonde herself, and lucky you to have found her sitting next to the fountain with her favorite Lady in Waiting.

“I was thinking about your hair,” Cassandra said as you walked up to them, pressing your hands on Rapunzel’s shoulders. She gave you her signature bright grin and motioned for you to join them. “Maybe we can find a way to get some answers discreetly, just us.”

“Ooh, mischievous,” you giggled. “I like it.”

Rapunzel nodded and leaned her head on your shoulder. “I mean, I still think you’re being a bit unfair about the Eugene thing, but what do you have in mind?” 

Cassandra’s features grew a little more excited as she used hand gestures. “Well, I’ve heard stories about this guy named Varian. Apparently, he’s some kind of wizard.” 

Your eyes raised slightly at the sound of his name. Varian... where had you heard of him before? Probably from some of the little off-their-rocker villagers. Rapunzel seemed pretty excited too as she clapped her hands together like a giddy child. “Wow! A real wizard? Like with a pointy hat and casting spells and stuff?” 

You couldn’t help but snort. “Those only exist in fairy tales. My money says he’s selling something. Probably laxatives.” 

Cassandra did her best to hide her laugh, but was still smiling as she continued. “No, girls we have to be careful. Very little is known about him and what is isn’t that good. He’s dangerous.”

“But if we want answers, he’s our best bet right?” Cass nodded. 

“Looks like we have a wizard to visit!”

♡♡♡

It didn’t take long to make it to Varian’s house, which was in Old Corona. The house looked simple enough, had it not been for the dark and foreboding feeling that apparently only existed in Rapunzel’s brain as the three of you approached the door. It was actually a quaint little thing, simple colors, no broken boards or cobwebs, and was decently larger than the other houses you had passed by.

“It looks nice,” Rapunzel spoke nervously. “In an I-wish-I-said-goodbye-to-my-loved-ones-before-I-left sort of way.”

Cassandra pushed open the door just before you could warn them about the importance of knocking and you all proceeded into the dimly lit house. The shadows seemed to crawl towards you as you help up the caboose of the line, Cass leading the way through the halls of the house until you finally pushed through a door surrounded by some very suspicious looking fog. 

“Geez, I guess those laxatives must really be working,” you joked as you propelled yourself through the cool mist. It passed through the soft fabric of your pants and your combat boots as Cassandra pushed open the door revealing yet another dimly-lit room covered in fog. Who was this guy? Just as you were about to speak, Cassandra’s boot made contact with some sort of string on the ground, triggering a myriad of complicated reactions that ultimately ended up with some sort of magenta ball being launched at your feet. You let out a shriek as it exploded into a goopy substance, gluing your feet to the ground. The three of you struggled to get yourselves free.

“A booby trap? Really?” Rapunzel grunted. 

“Everything’s going to be fine, Raps, we just need to-” Suddenly a very scary, very robotic looking figure emerged from the shadows. Your heart began to pound faster inside your vest-covered chest as your eyes widened in terror. 

“W-who... is...that?” You could barely muster as the figure got closer. Two, electric yellow orbs were all that you could see as Rapunzel held an arm out protectively in front of you. 

“What do you want?” The voice boomed throughout the halls, striking terror into your heart. Your mouth fell open as you stared, slight PTSD forming from all of the moments you spent witnessing your parents torture innocent people. 

“U-um, hi, sir, I really hate to bother you, but I was just wondering if I could get your help about my hair,” Rapunzel did her best to hide her stutter. “Because you’re such a magic exper-”

“Magic?” The metal laxative man robotically asked. “I do not work with magic!” He suddenly lifted the helmet off of his head to reveal someone a hell of a lot less intimidating and, dare you say, kind of... insanely cute. “I mean, technically, it’s alchemy but...” He drawled off the moment he laid his adorable blue orbs on you. It was almost as if though he had gotten lost in a trance as his eyes looked over every inch of you before finally resting on your face once again, a twinkle in his eyes that, the more you looked at it, reminded you of the way Eugene looked at Rapunzel. 

A little butterfly flew around in your stomach. 

“Um, hate to interrupt, but um what is this stuff?” Rapunzel awkwardly chuckled, breaking whatever just happened between you and this supposed “Varian.” Your cheeks held a tinge of pink to them as he quickly regained his composure, a bit of a blush to his own as well.

“Oh! Um, this is a chemical compound of my own design. We have a little bit of a beautiful- I MEAN critter problem,” he chuckled, glancing at you as he pulled out the “neutralizing particle” and sprinkled it over all of your guys’s feet. You watched with an amazed expression as the compound instantly dissipated before your eyes. Varian smirked slightly at your reaction. 

“I am so, so sorry, Your Highness.” He bowed to Rapunzel. 

“Your Highness?” Rapunzel asked in confusion. “You know who I am?”

“How could I not? Look at your hair!” He suddenly realized the error in his exaggeration and quickly apologized. God, how could one person contain to much adorableness?

...Wait, what?

“Rapunzel is just fine,” Raps smiled at him. “And this is Cassandra, and Y/n.” Cass gave him a firm nod and you offered him a polite smile. His eyes lingered on you for a moment longer.

“Y/n... okay! Anyway, so fantastical stories about your hair have spread throughout Corona. Most people think that it’s magic, but as you’ve probably learned by now, I don’t believe that.” You couldn’t help but smile at his boldness, the pride that he took in his work. He seemed to have something that you only wished you could have: pride. 

“Listen kid, we’re kind of in a hurry here, but let’s just get one thing straight here. Everything that happens here stays here, you got-”

“I don’t think we need to threaten him, Cass,” you quickly removed her hand from Varian’s shirt and gave her a reassuring smile. “He seems pretty harmless. Right?”

He quickly nodded his head, like a love struck puppy as he stared at you. After figuring out that Rapunzel’s hair no longer held its fantastical healing properties, Varian stuck her in a machine that he apparently made himself to determine the entire chemical makeup of any substance. 

“Woah,” you breathed as you stared at the great machine. “This is... amazing, you built this yourself?”

“Y-You think so?” Varian giggled, a bright crimson tinting his cheeks as he scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I did.”

“It’s incredible.”

“You’re incredible.”

“What?”

“What?” You were both staring at each other with wide eyes until you finally started giggling. 

“You’re funny,” you chuckled, shaking your head slightly and turning back to watch as the machine tried taking an axe to her hair. Little did you know that he was still staring at you the entire time. Time seemed to practically fly by as Eugene came in and then a bunch of Varian’s underground machines suddenly became radioactive or something. Cass and you went out to find him and before you knew it, Old Corona was in near ashes. 

You slowly approached Varian after his father had talked to him, and by the looks of it, it hadn’t gone well. You stopped when you were just behind him, trying to debate whether or not you should put your hand on his shoulder. 

“Varian...” You began, but stopped, trying to form the right words in your brain. He turned to look at you and instantly became flustered once again.

“Y/n, I am so, so sorry for this, I swear that I-” 

“It’s okay, Varian,” you assured him, flashing him a smile and tucking a stray lock of your hair behind your ear. “I mess up too. But that doesn’t mean that we’re any less amazing.” 

A small smile grew onto his lips at your words and he let out a soft chuckle. A short, comfortable silence fell between you two as you stared into one another’s eyes until he broke it. “Hey... I know we just met, but would you want to... umm... hang out sometime?”

“I’d love that,” You couldn’t help but grin.

♡ a.a.

[jasperwhitcock]

01. AN IMPOSSIBILITY

i stumbled upon a post you can read here from @bellasredchevy​ from like a year ago where she expanded on an au where bella & edward switch places where bella is a vampire in the cullen family and edward is a human. we’re all social distancing (or we all SHOULD be unless u have work so if ur out partying take ur ass home boo) so i had time to kill & i thought i’d write a chapter hehe.

It was an impossibility for me to have missed the presence of my adopted brother entering the room. What with my astute senses, my supernatural sensitivity to everything – the microscopic details of the book page’s porous beige paper, the length of his shadow stretching onto the floor beneath the novel in my hands, cast from the golden light of the hallway, the smooth, feathery finish of the paper under my frozen fingers, the whooshing sound of air caressing his mountainous stature as he appeared, the soft yet heavy thud of his feet against the floor – a sound nearly imperceptible, the impossible to place scent of something like bergamot, white cedar, rose, and sandalwood perfuming the room at his appearance. An impossibility, and yet, my focus was so invested in the words inked on the page, enamored with a story I’d read a hundred, a thousand, a million times, that I found myself shocked when the novel surprisingly ripped down the spine into two perfect halves before my eyes, another one of my novels that he had plucked off the shelf barreling towards my face. He had thrown the other book with such force that in the process of his attempt to grasp my attention, he knifehand-striked a book I had taken from my mother Renee’s sad little toilet-reading, bathroom basket collection of a library.

I was on my feet hunched towards him infinitesimally, the book that had been less than a centimeter from crashing into my face tenderly clutched in my right hand, my lips pulled back over my teeth to let out a snarl. The right half of the original novel I had held fell onto the floor with a thump a moment later. He stood crouched as well, a wicked smile spread on his lips, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He loved provocation – eliciting this kind of response in me fueled him. A fight with some authentic irritation, a fight with an edge.

“Time for school, baby sister,” He raised an eyebrow, inviting the challenge.

“Emmett,” I hissed through my teeth, tensed to launch myself at him. Part of my mind sifted through a dozen plans of attack, strategizing what would be my most successful method of taking him down since he was pretty much insurmountable. He had all the strength and all the size. Stealth would be my greatest chance. Another part of my mind pulsed with irritation, an irrational, furious mood swing sweeping over me. The kind of emotional response only our kind could experience...or handle. I nearly saw red as the rest of the words flew through my lips. “Couldn’t you have told me that without destroying a priceless artifact of my human life, big brother?”

I made the name sound like a curse word.

“Artifact?” Emmett snorted. “Please. How many times have you read that same damn story in the past few years? I did you a favor,” he smirked as he feigned right and left so fast that it was as if he hadn’t moved at all.

I tensed to hurl myself forward at the opportune moment before a tsunami tide of calmness washed over the room along with an earthy aroma of citrus, patchouli, musk, and leather. “We really should be leaving now,” my other adopted brother Jasper murmured in his lightly southern accent as he appeared.

“Restricting as it may be, vehicles only allow up to a certain speed, and Esme wouldn’t like for us to be late,” my tiny sister materialized by his side in a blur of porcelain skin and inky black hair. “Although, maybe she’d get a kick out of a call home for tardiness,” Alice laughed, a sound like windchimes. “I can tell you who would have won or you could have your fight later.”

“Ugh,” Emmett groaned in disappointment, dropping his stance. “It’s so hard to get her that riled up. Fuck!” He complained, grumpily disappearing from the room in a flash.

“Later,” He promised under his breath from the garage.

“You would have won,” Alice mouthed, her beautiful lips stretching into a secretive smile as she winked. She picked up the other half of the novel I had purposefully dropped to catch the meteor Emmet had propelled, tossing it in the air towards me in one fluid motion.

I grinned to myself, gently tucked the other book back into its rightful place on the shelf across the room, and caught the ruined piece before it hit the ground. My face immediately dropped into a frown as I analyzed both halves. Fortunately, Pride and Prejudice was not beyond repair. I could mend the division by sewing it back together down the spine later. I set the injured book down and flew downstairs not a moment later. As I passed my adopted mother on the way to the door, I pecked her on the cheek before exiting the house and sliding into the dark leather backseat of the pearly white car next to Alice. Without checking the mirrors, Rosalie sped out of the garage as soon as the door lifted enough for us to clear.

The trees outside the windows were a green haze as we flew by, our speed only decreasing when we arrived in the main part of town among other drivers. We could have ran to school much, much faster – and thus not had any concern about tardiness – but without our cars for appearance, our show might prove unconvincing. It wasn’t abnormal to walk to school in the unrelenting pouring of rain in our small town of Forks, Washington. However, though few people in town knew the location of our home, perhaps the front office ladies might find it concerning that a group of teenagers trekked a half marathon to their classes. It was unlikely they’d care to look up the address from our files, but we were never too cautious. 

I liked running. I had been characterized as very clumsy in my human life, so it was a welcome change to feel graceful and coordinated. It was a welcome change to feel powerful. It was, however, unwelcome to participate in the daily charade of masquerading as exactly the opposite of that. As much as I had enjoyed my afterlife, I loathed the same thing many teenagers did, a hatred that may be my greatest commonality with the humans that surrounded me.

High school. I didn’t mind school prior to my immortal life. I had been decent and even above-average in most subjects. I had been a responsible, diligent, and quiet seventeen year old: I paid attention, I completed assignments in time, I spent most of my time in solitude which allowed me ample time to study. There were subjects I enjoyed far more than others that kept things interesting enough for me. Unfortunately, after a number of graduations, high school lost any potential interest and became something of a purgatory. Even classes like English lost their charm over time. Once you had spent years studying literature from the greatest professors, scholars, and writers both living and dead, it was immensely rare for a small town high school English teacher to offer a new take that would make my attendance worthwhile.

Attending high school provided us with the opportunity to remain in one place longer, so complain as much as I want, I suppose it’s something to fill the endless amounts of time. Still, that didn’t make the obligation any more tolerable.

Rosalie hummed along to a song playing quietly through the speakers while Emmett sulked in the passenger seat over having missed out on a fight. I smiled, a bit smug. On the other side of Alice occupying the middle seat, I sensed Jasper’s head jerk slightly in my direction to see the expression that reflected my slight change in mood. I shook my head, still smiling, and he smirked a bit himself before returning his attention back to his window. His scarred hand traced affectionate circles onto Alice’s hand in her lap, and she stared forward, her unfocused eyes seeing not what was in front of her, but the potential realities of the future.

They were a gifted couple. We become immensely enhanced when we’re transformed from being human, and as a result, some immortals are equipped with a special gift on top of their already unparalleled supernatural senses. Our creator and father figure Carlisle theorized that our strongest traits from our human life develop in even stronger ways once we’ve been changed. Jasper’s influential nature flourished into a skill of sensing and manipulating the emotional climate of those around him. Alice’s gift was even more unique. She could see into the future. We didn’t know what in her human life this had developed from. Her past is a secret to not only us, but Alice as well.

I too was gifted. For some time, we had no idea until I had met our cousins. In Denali, Alaska, there was another coven similar to us not just in kind but in diet and ideology who we considered extended family. Another commonality we share is that they also have gifted immortals among their coven. One of the only males, Eleazar’s, gift was sensing the abilities of other vampires, and he had detected my ability. He revealed, to all of our surprise, that I was something called a mental shield. It’s a talent of blocking out any powers that could invade my mind, and it is absolutely, entirely useless to me. I didn’t have a need for this kind of protection. My gift was a complete waste.

The drizzling rain was picking up into a steadier shower as we pulled into the small parking lot of Forks High School. Scenting the earthy, fresh stormy air was the tempting fragrance of the students’ pulsing blood as they ran for the dry cover of the maroon brick buildings. I was entirely satiated from my most recent hunt. Still, my throat burned with the slight dryness that would never completely go away. Jasper sighed.

There were only a few late stragglers hurrying from their vehicles towards their classes that could potentially see us, but as Rosalie parked, we moved at the frustratingly slow pace of the humans around us as a precaution. No risks. After exiting the car, Alice tossed me my backpack of useless school material from the trunk. I slid one strap over my shoulder and departed from my siblings for my first class.

The rest of the morning dragged along like a slow, drawn out sigh. I spent most of the time in my classes thinking of ways I could reorganize the book shelves in my room again. By genre, by author name, by theme, by year published, by year the story takes place, by favorite author, by alphabetical order of the location the story was set, by date of author’s death, by favorite to least favorite protagonist, by which accumulated the most pieces of literary criticism, by section that each family member might enjoy the most, by order in which I first read each, by order of which I read most to least, by order of which my family had read most to least, by alphabetical order of the antagonist’s name, and by which was least to most realistic were all ways I had structured my personal library in the past few years. I was toying with the idea of organizing by order of the birthday of the first character introduced, but a lot of the birthdays had not been established throughout the plot. I would have to decide where they would fit throughout the year based on which zodiac sign I might consider them to have depending on their character traits. Not that I held much stock in astrology – horoscopes did me no good when I had a future-telling sister.

The only difference in this day than any other day was that the trivial gossip I unintentionally overheard throughout the hallways concerned a new addition to the student body. This stirred up a lot of interest seeing as the majority of the children here knew each other for the entirety of their lives. What I had gathered in passing was that it was a junior boy named Edward Masen from Chicago who had recently moved from living abroad with his family. The girls were very excited – they considered him a very attractive potential new love interest. Attractive, though those who had been brave enough to speak to him found him to be impenetrable despite his charm. I wondered what the boy would make of me and my family.

I joined my siblings at our lunch table, the farthest table from everybody else in the room. In front of each of us was the prop of a lunch tray piled with unappetizing food. Alice sat, staring forward with empty eyes again, living in her own ever-changing reality. Jasper and Emmett made a hacky sack out of an apple and subtly kicked it back and forth in the air beneath the table, the apple moving too fast for human eyes to detect. Rose twirled a piece of her golden hair around in her hands, disinterested. Her thoughts were clearly elsewhere. As were all of ours. Occasionally she participated in their game by intercepting the apple with her foot.

“The new student’s going to ask about us in approximately fifteen seconds,” Alice chirped, her face returning to the present.

Emmett chuckled quietly.

“What will be said, and how will the boy respond?” Rosalie asked, her foot sending the apple reeling toward the ceiling.

Alice caught the apple in her slender, white hand before tossing it back to Emmett to end the game. “No different than anything else that’s been said, and no different than anybody else.”

I scanned the cafeteria to find the new student, so I could place a face to the upcoming conversation I’d be listening in on.

My eyes locked with a pair of soft green eyes set in a pale, angular face beneath an untidy mess of strange bronze hair. I looked away immediately but caught the beginning jolt of shock lighting up those surprisingly wise eyes.

“Who are they?” The boy gasped. So it had been my gaze that brought Alice’s vision to life. No doubt he’d immediately recognize the subtle differences that distinguish our kind from his. Emmett and I exchanged a glance, laughing under our breath as another junior student I recognized as Naomi Parker provided the common knowledge of the strange Cullen children. The story was complicated. In Forks, the explanation for our family was that Carlisle had adopted his twin niece and nephew, Rosalie and Jasper Hale, after the unexpected passing of his much older half-brother. Similarly, after a tragic car accident took the lives of Esme’s parents in addition to her aunt and uncle, she took in her younger siblings, Emmett and I, along with her niece Alice to look after us. Bonding over the shared experience of so much responsibility so young, Carlisle and Esme eloped, and we formed one giant, misshapen family.

Instinctively, I caught the apple in my hand just as it nearly turned into applesauce by means of collision with my stone face. I snarled at Emmett’s hysteric expression, hiding my hand from view so that anyone watching would have missed the entire catch. “Would you quit doing that today!?”

Rosalie shot Emmett a disapproving look. He shouldn’t be so irresponsible when we were clearly on display for the new Masen kid. I shot a minute glance towards his table to make sure they were no longer watching us. The boy seemed to be focused on the information he was receiving.

“This,” I snarled, sneakily disintegrating the apple into a pulp in my hand below the table where the humans couldn’t see, “will be what happens to you at home.” I made a show of letting the mush slide off my hand onto my tray.

My brother guffawed, and my other siblings joined in the laughter.

“In your dreams!”

I couldn’t help but laugh as well. I also couldn’t help but feel the intensity of watching eyes.

“Who’s the girl with the really long dark hair?” The soft, low voice of the boy asked quietly from across the room.

Reflexively, my eyes met his stare once again. He looked away quickly.

“That’s Bella. She’s insanely beautiful obviously, but if you’re thinking about trying to talk to her, forget it,” Naomi shrugged.

Once lunchtime was over, we disbanded to head off to the last half of yet another monotonous day. On my way out of the cafeteria, I purposely bumped into the trash can for Emmett’s benefit as he and Rose followed close behind. The action was a little more violent than I intended, and the plastic container bent slightly at the force.

“Oops,” I bit my lip to keep from smiling as he erupted into laughter. Upon our move to Forks, it had become something of a joke between Emmett and I for me to feign clumsiness. I didn’t participate in this joke daily, but every once in a while I’d sprinkle in an elaborate fall for his sake.

When I reached my junior level Biology class, I settled into my seat at the lab table I shared with no one. I laid the books devoid of any information relevant to me out on the table, and propped an elbow on the surface to hold my head up in my hand, awaiting the oncoming tedium. 

The room filled as students returned from lunch. I paid them no attention, my eyes fixated on counting the snow-like particles of chalk dust floating in the air likely from Mr. Molina writing on the board prior to the end of lunch.

“Ah, welcome, Mr. Masen! We’re so glad to have you join us. You can take the seat next to Miss Cullen,” I looked up to find the biology teacher pointing in my direction. Next to him was the new boy. Standing up, he appeared very lanky – several inches taller than our teacher – though his physique was still slightly muscular.

I pulled the books closer to my side of the table to make room for him, feeling bad that he had the misfortune of being assigned the seat next to me. He would probably feel more comfortable anywhere else. Not only because I didn’t go out of my way to interact much with my classmates, but because their long-buried survival instincts told them what their brains didn’t totally understand: we were dangerous.

I had never been more dangerous than I was in that moment. Because after the Masen kid politely thanked the teacher, he turned down the aisle, directly in front of the heated airflow that blew towards me.

His scent washed over me like the most vicious, violent wave, a wall of unrelenting water in a heavy thunderstorm in the middle of the ocean, drowning me, taking me down, down, down, further and further away from the traces of humanity I had once clung to.

In every direction of this blackest of depths, there was no escape that could lead me back to the light; I resurfaced as the monster I pretended not to be.

The sweet enticing smell of Edward Masen’s blood compelled my throat to rupture into a burning, aching fire. I had never been ablaze with such need. My mouth was pooling with venom as my prey approached. Since he spoke, he had only taken another step forward. He would not take another.

As my muscles begged for the release that would send me springing forward, stealing the first life of my existence, those sage eyes glanced at me, widening in bewilderment at the vicious expression contorting my features.

With great difficulty, I emerged from my horrible, repulsive compulsion. The look on his face was enough to spare him another moment.

His scent perfumed the air around me; I was encompassed in this irresistable cloud of bloodlust, eager to leap up and put an end to this unexpected torture.

In all my years of immortality, I had never experienced a desire this overwhelming. I had never been so vulnerable to committing this kind of atrocity. My record was clean. With guidance, I had been able to restrain myself from the temptation of human blood. Of course, instinct is not easily fought. Sometimes the abstinence was painful. But never like this.

A dozen scenarios on how to kill this poor human boy crossed my mind, and I combatted every single one with the last miserable shred of self control I had left. I had never exerted so much effort. The toil was something hazily reminiscent of human exhaustion, weighing heavily onto me.

I had no choice but to end his life. There was no other way.

He awkwardly settled into the seat next to me, aware of some unknown hostility, but unaware of the ferocity raging within, unaware of the way his blood sang to me, inviting me in, inviting me to betray all my years of discipline, effort, and tolerance. Inviting me to betray my family.

Despite the absolute consumption, by some miracle, I resisted.

I desperately clung to the thought of my family. Rosalie. Esme. Carlisle. Alice. Emmett. Jasper.

They loved me. They would forgive me for this detestable, inexorable act. They would understand. They wouldn’t harbor any judgment.

But how could I let them down in this way? Everything about who we are, everything about what unites us and bonds us is intricately traced back to the compassion that rules over our lives. It’s what makes us different from others of our kind. It’s what allows us to retain some remnants of the humanity we’ve lost. So just as I’ve done before, I would withstand human blood now. No matter the agony that accompanies the resistance.

I took one last deep breath. The scent washed down my throat, burning me alive from the inside out.

I wouldn’t dare to breath for the next torturous hour. It was uncomfortable to forgo the sensation, but the consequences that would follow if I did breathe had far worse implications.

Could I last that long? What was I trying to prove? Was the possibility of a lapse in the best of my judgment worth not succumbing to the honest truth – that I had more weakness in the face of human blood than I thought?

Perhaps Emmett might make fun of me. Perhaps Jasper might secretly appreciate someone else struggling more than he did. But Carlisle and Esme wouldn’t see any weakness in leaving. They’d be proud of me for making this decision. They’d understand.

The last of the students were arriving from lunchtime. Now was the greatest opportunity to escape without drawing too much attention. In my peripheral, I saw the boy open his mouth to begin to speak to me.

If I didn’t leave now, I never would. My resolve was slipping away with every thud of the boy’s heart.

I got up and walked to the front of the classroom a little too fast.

“Mr. Molina?” I asked, my voice tight. The biology teacher looked up from a lesson plan he was reviewing, his eyes startled as he registered my face. I heard his heartbeat pick up from the surprise.

“I’m feeling a little... unwell. May I be excused?” I utilized the last of my breath, hoping the subtle begging in my voice didn’t prompt more questions.

Mr. Molina recollected himself, his eyebrows pulling together in slight concern along with confusion. The Cullens were never sick.

“Of course, Miss Cullen. Do you need a nurse’s pass-” He began before I cut him off, resentfully taking another tormenting breath. The scent sent my mind reeling. I fought for coherency in my thoughts.

I didn’t need to work to put on a show; I probably looked pale and sick enough.

“No thank you,” I spoke quickly, desperate for the relief of fresh, untainted air.

“Alright, then. I hope you feel better-” I was out of the room before he could finish the rest of the statement. The bell for class rang. The hallways were empty, so I risked the charade and began to move at an inhuman speed around the corner. Only when I had exited the building did I allow myself to breathe again. I gasped, nearly choking on the mouthfuls of clean air when I reached the car. My head was still spinning as I climbed into the drivers’ seat. I gave little thought to worrying if my quick movements in the classroom would reveal too much. I hoped that the students were too focused on finishing up their leftover conversations from lunch to notice. 

With a jolt, I realized I was not alone in the car. In the passenger seat sat my tiny sister.

“Bella?” She asked, her pitch-black eyes unable to convey the concern that was etched on the rest of her pixie-like features.

“Alice,” I breathed. I had been so distracted with my own thoughts I hadn’t even paid any attention to the proximity of the familiar vanilla and jasmine fragrance of her skin. What was wrong with me today?

“Are you alright? I saw…”

I winced, knowing what she must have seen.

“I’m fine. I just… I-... I don’t know what happened…” The words flew rapidly out of my mouth.

“Do you need help? Should I grab the boys? Or would you like to leave-”

“No! No. It’s really not...a big deal. I’m just going to… I promise I’m fine. I won’t go back there-” I gulped, the venom filling my mouth as I even considered returning to the class where he sat. Alice’s eyes widened, so I stopped the thought in its tracks. “Rosalie has a free period right now. I think I’ll go find her. I’ll see you when school is over.”

I reached for the door, turning away from her, shame filling me, making me unwilling to face her any longer. Her slender hand grabbed my other wrist, pulling me to a stop. “I’ll come with you.”

“Don’t. I’m fine, Alice!” I pulled my hand away too defensively. Regret replaced the shame for a moment. “Sorry.”

I left her alone in the car, feeling guilty.

I knew it was risky to utilize my sense of smell, but following the sweet, warm aroma of orange blossom, marshmallow, and roses – and avoiding anywhere remotely near the science wing – I found my other sister alone in an empty classroom. Now that it had been distinguished from the rest, I could still smell the boy, but with more distance between us, I fought the temptation off.

“You’re not in class?” She asked as she typed into a computer, her back turned to me. It looked as though she was searching for some car parts. Even though I helped her in the garage sometimes, after all these years I was still no better at identifying anything related to automobiles.

“Rose...” I began, before stopping short, unsure of what to say.

She turned around in an indiscernible millisecond, her breathtaking face worried at the tone of my voice. “What’s wrong?”

She reached for me consolingly. Though I didn’t need the rest – I could stand still for hours on end and never feel tired – I sat on the floor beside her chair, hugging my knees to my chest, my eyes fixated on the dust deep in the roots of the rough, outdated carpet.

Her silky hands smoothly brushed through my hair, patiently waiting for me to build up the courage to speak. It felt nice.

After a few seconds, she spoke up. “Bella, you’re worrying me.”

I sighed.

“I’ve never...struggled this way before,” I admitted, exasperated with myself.

I could see that she was nodding out of the corner of my eye, immediately understanding. “That’s nothing to be ashamed about, Bella.”

I didn’t need to see her face to know her perfect lips were set into a deep frown. She wasn’t lying to me, but I knew to her, this existence was everything to be ashamed about.

“I won’t pretend that I don’t find myself...repulsed with...well, what we are. That’s no secret to anyone.” Her musical laughter had a dark edge to it. “But I’ve spent enough time for all of us hating myself for the impulses we have and the tragedy of our existence. You needn’t be so hard on yourself. It’s alright to...” She trailed off, selecting different words. “We’ve chosen an abnormal path in this non-life of ours. The terrible consequences of what we are are normal” – her hands froze in my hair briefly saying the word – “so try to let go of the shame I know you’re feeling, though I don’t blame you for feeling that way.”

She paused for a moment before adding, “you know we won’t allow you to harm anyone.”

I bit down on my lower lip. I was glad I came to Rosalie. She didn’t think I was being overdramatic the way Emmett might have.

Though I deeply loved my mother from my human life, there hadn’t been much maternal guidance. We had a strong bond, but I was far more of the caretaker than she was. I had been very lucky in this immortal life. Esme treated me as her own daughter, and I became truly taken care of. Just as Esme became the most loving mother figure in all the ways that counted, Rosalie became the very best protective older sister. My life had no shortage of supportive femininity and womanhood.

I heard a springy, featherlight approach of fast footsteps.

“I told you not to follow me,” I grumbled.

Alice poked her tongue out at me as she entered the room and fluttered to my other side, joining my other sister in stroking my head. “You’ll forgive me. I didn’t want to be left out of a sister moment.” 

Her words brought half a smile to my face.

I closed my eyes, allowing myself to be comforted by Rosalie’s words and the soft feeling of my sisters’ hands in my hair.

Yes, it was undeniable what I was. I could never change the fact. But I could change the fate of this boy, and I could deny myself the instincts that identified me this way. I could deny myself Edward Masen.

[duker42]

NSFW Alphabet for Mike 🥰 please!

NSFW Alphabet for Mike Zacharias:

A-Aftercare: Despite his giant build and his role as the Second Strongest Soldier, Mike is a complete teddy bear when it comes to aftercare. He is the type to smother his lover in kisses as he cleans them up. Then prepare to be held for as long as you want, because this man lives to snuggle with you!

B-Body Part: Mike as a boob man. Doesn’t mean they have to be particularly big, he just loves to cup your breasts in his large hands. He also loves to feel your perky nipples pressed against his chest while you are having sex or you are just laying against him. Expect those bad boys to be swollen and a bit sore when he gets done loving them with his mouth.

C-Cum: Mike has a dirty little secret, he loves cum. Your cum, his cum, doesn’t matter to him. Your cum he loves all over his face and in his gotee as he licks you over and over until you are begging for mercy. His cum he gets a rush out of seeing painted on your body or oozing out of your satisfied pussy.

D-Dirty Talk: He is normally a quiet man, but his dirty talk game is pretty awesome. That rarely used deep voice is perfect. “Have I told you how sexy you look bouncing on my cock?” “Fuck, Y/N your pussy’s so good I’m about to blow, you’re so good at squeezing the cum out of me.” That sexy tone is guaranteed to push you into your own orgasm.

E-Experiment: Mike is all for some experimentation. He had several ideas of things that he wants to experience with you. He’s a man secure enough in his manhood to be willing to push his own boundaries to try what you want at least once. If it’s not for him he will let you know. It’s all about that give and take for him. How can he expect you to try those things that make him hard if he’s not willing to do the same for you?

F-Favorite Position: This man loves for you to ride his cock. Not only does he get a fantastic view, he’s not unaware of the large size difference between the two of you. It’s a way he doesnt’ have to worry about hurting you by accident. Another favorite is to hold you up in his arms and push you against a wall. Something about having you unable to move much in his arms as you moan out his name does it for him.

G-Goofy: Surprise! Mike can be a bit of a goofball with you. He’s not opposed to teasing you and cracking jokes. He keeps it more on the fun loving side rather than insulting. For him, sex is a stress relief and he enjoys when you both are laughing before you start having sex. Given the stressful nature of your jobs as Scouts, of course he wanted to be a light hearted with you as possible.

H-Hair: Our golden giant has a nice dusting of hair across his broad chest. Not enough to claim he’s wearing a fur coat, but enought for you to know that your stud is all man. His pubic hair is lighter than his chest hair naturally, not having much growing in to trim. You’ve made fun of him for before and he retaliated by hiding your razor for a week and calling you Sasquatch.

I-Intimacy: Yes he can be all fun and games at time, but for Mike, he expresses every emotion in his hands on your body. When it’s the night before an expedition, the grins fall away and he sets out to make sure you know that his heart is firmly in your hands as he revertly strokes your skin. Expect him to put that nose to use as he drinks in your scent, etching it into his brain as those green eyes close and he sighs against you.

J-Jack Off: He loves to fuck you, but that isn’t always and option and you know that. He will take care of himself in the privacy of your bedroom. Laying back on your bed, he will firmly grasp his cock in his fist and work himself up to and orgasm with hard, fast strokes. His eyes are closed as he brings your scent to mind and it’s like you’re right there with him. His body jerks as his cum jettisons out onto his stomach and he sighs, relieved that he had his release.

K-Kink: Lowkey Daddy Alert! He would never ask you to call him Daddy but if you do, expect that man’s hips to start moving faster as the sound propels him to fuck you harder. He obviously has a Olfactophilia Kink, loving the scent of you any way he can get it. You pretend not to notice that he has swiped a pair of your panties from the laundry. High key LOVES to watch you masturbate in front of him. He will lock the door to his office and put you on his desk to get a front row view of your fingers dipping into your dripping pussy.

L-Location: He will fuck you anywhere he can get you alone for more than five minutes. Once, when he was feeling particularly evil, he took you into the Captain’s office and bent you over his desk. For weeks after, anytime he had to go talk to Levi there was a stupid grin on his face.

M-Motivation: It really doesn’t take much to get Mike in the mood. If you wear any of the expensive panties that he has bought you and wear it under your uniform, he will spot the outline against your trousers. He’ll be raring to go. But he loves when you come up to him and run your hands across his chest and pull at him to lean down and gives him a sloppy kiss. It will normally end with him throwing you over his shoulder to find the nearest secluded spot.

N-No: He’s not going to hit you, even if you want it. (Punching, kicking, slapping) Mike knows his strength too well to even play at something like that. Plus he doesn’t want to hurt you, he loves you. He’s also unwilling to choke you during sex. As an officer, he has seen too many accidental deaths he’s had to write the report on for autoerotic asphyxiation. NOT HAPPENING

O-Oral: This man could go down on you for hours an be happy. He honestly believes that his best death would be to kick the bucket with his face between your legs, except for the fact that it would traumatize the shit out of you. But this doesn’t mean he doesn’t fucking love the sight of you on your knees in front of his chair with your lips wrapped around his dick. He fucking loves when you wake him up with a blow job, he will just have the best day no matter what happens.

P-Pace: He’s a giant of a man and stronger than an ox. In the bed of course he’s like a damn train barreling down the tracks. He starts off slow, giving you time to accommodate his girth, but when he’s freely sliding into you, expect that man’s cock to turn into a jackhammer, pounding away at your cervix. When he’s in that mood to really fuck you until you see stars, you’ve woken up everyone in your wing of the castle from your screams. It was really embarrassing that time Erwin burst in, thinking there was something wrong.

Q-Quickie: Sex is sex. He knows that not every time is going to be a nightlong multiple orgasm love-making session. Sometimes that quick fuck in the woods when your supposed to be training is the best thing for your relationship. It keeps the spark alive and your body throbbing for the next encounter you may have.

R-Risk: Sex in public is always a thrill, but as an officer, he does keep it to areas you are less likely to be seen. But if there’s a reasonable chance he can get you both off before someone comes by, expect your pants to be pulled down in a heartbeat. Risky sex is alright at long as it’s not choking you or punching you. Again, thats not happening, but he will set up safewords when you want to take a walk on the wild side.

S-Stamina: He’s another one of those men that can outlast his woman to the point where she’s wondering if he’s ever going to cum. When you two have the time, he’s going to be moving inside you for at least an hour. He can speed it up for you by leaning down and drinking in your scent. If you weren’t quite done with him, it’s going to be awhile. At least half an hour, but he will make sure that you are kept entertained by his tongue and fingers in the meantime.

T-Toys: Mike is wary of toys until he learns what all you can do with them. Then it’s like a little kid being given free reign in a candy store. He will buy everything that looks interesting. It will just be another thing that can aid in making sure that you are completely satisfied in his bed.

U-Unfair: He doesn’t really like to tease you too much sexually. He would rather give you multiple orgasms than try to deny you. Mike wants you anticipating your next encounter, not wondering if he’s going to edge you for hours without relief.

V-Volume: There’s something about these Scouts that just makes them more quiet in bed than most. He will grunt softly in your ear during a particularly pleasing move or thrust. When he cums, its going to a a low calling of your name as he releases. You’ve only been able to make him shout a few times and it’s a personal goal of yours every time your together.

W-Wild Card: Mike is pretty possessive. It’s a good thing that not too many people would fuck with his woman, because it wouldn’t end well for them. He is definitely one to go pull you out of someone’s range and give you a quick but thorough fuck in a closet.

X-X-Ray: Again, he’s a giant. Of course his cock is going to be the same. He is almost pushing 11 inches of thick, girthy deliciousness. His tip is like the edge of a sword, much smaller, allowing him to work his way in without causing you too much pain.

Y-Yearning: If there wasn’t the issue of serving humanity and fighting the Titan’s, Mike would probably try to spend all of his time in bed with you. As much as possible and still support you, of course. He loves the feeling of your skin against his, your calming presence around him and craves it as much as possible.

Z-Zzzz: Mike sleeps pretty well, as well as any Scout can. But after an intense few hours of making love to you, he’s ready to slip off into dreamland. He will cuddle for as long as you want, but most of the times as you lay there in his arms, his eyes will close and you’ll start to hear his soft snores. It’s always so peaceful and you find yourself drifting off too.

Mobile MasterList

[fuckheadwitha]

Listening to Rolling Stone's Top 500 Albums of All Time

Rolling Stone released an updated list of their top 500 albums of all time and being trapped in the purgatory of covid quarantine this seems like the perfect moment to tackle what an almost completely irrelevant former counter-culture institution has to say about music (we can’t actually blame Rolling Stone for this list, a huge number of musicians and critics voted to make it). I am going to listen to every single one of these, all the way through, with a level of attention that's not super intense but I'm definitely not having them on in the background as simple aural wallpaper. Two caveats though: I can make an executive decision to skip any album if I feel the experience is sufficiently miserable, and I'm also going to be skipping the compilation albums that I feel aren't really worth slots (best ofs, etc.). In addition, I will be ordering them as I go, creating a top 500 of the top 500 (it will be less than 500 since we've already established I'm skipping some of these).

Here are 500-490:

#500 Arcade Fire - Funeral

I can already tell I'm going to be at odds with this list if one of the most important albums of my high school years is at the bottom. That being said, I haven't actually given this whole thing a listen since probably the early 2010s, before Arcade Fire fatigue set in and the hipsterati appointed band of a generation just kinda seemed to fade from popular consciousness. I actually dreaded re-experiencing it, since the synthesis of anthemic rock and quirky folk instrumentation which Arcade Fire brought mainstream has now become the common shorthand of insufferable spotify friendly folk pop. Blessedly, the first half of the album easily holds up, largely propelled by dirty fast rhythm guitar, orchestration that's tuneful rather than obnoxious, and lyrics which come off as earnest rather than pretentious. The middle gets a little sappy and “Crown of Love”, a song I definitely used to like, really starts the grate. And then we get to “Wake Up”, whose cultural saturation spawned thousands of dorky indie rock outfits that confused layered strings and horns with power and meaning. This song definitely hasn't survived the film trailers and commercials which it so ubiquitously overlayed, but the line about "a million little gods causing rainstorms, turning every good thing to rust" still attacks the part of my brain capable of sincere emotion. This album is probably going to hold the top spot for a while, because although so many elements of Funeral that made it feel so meaningful, that made it stand out so much in 2004, have been seamlessly assimilated into an intellectually and emotionally bankrupt indie pop industrial complex, the album itself still has a genuine vulnerability and bangers that still manage to rip.

#499

Rufus, Chaka Khan - Ask Rufus

Before she became a name in her own right, Chaka Khan was the voice of the band Rufus, and it’s definitely her voice that shines amongst some spritely vibey funk. That’s not to say that these aren’t some jams on their own. “At Midnight” is a banging opener with a sprint to the finish, and although the explicitly named but kinda boring “Slow Screw Against the Wall” feels weak, this wasn’t really supposed to be an album of barn burners. This was something people put on their vinyl record players while they chilled on vinyl furniture after a night of doing cocaine. “Everlasting Love” is a bop with a bassline like a Sega Genesis game, and the twinkling piano on “Hollywood” adds a playful levity to lyrics that are supposed to be both tackily optimistic about making it big out in LA and subtly realistic about the kind of nightmare world showbiz can be. “Better Days” is another track that manages to be a bittersweet jam with a catchy sour saxophone and playful synths under Chaka Khan’s vamping. This album definitely belongs on a ‘chill funk to study and relax to’ playlist.

#498

Suicide - Suicide

We’ve hit the first album that could be rightly called a progenitor for multiple genres that followed it. Someone could say there’s a self-serving element of this being on a Rolling Stone list (the band was one of the first to adopt the label ‘Punk’ after seeing it in a Lester Bangs article) but the album’s legacy is basically indisputable. EBM, industrial, punk, post-punk, new wave, new whatever all have a genealogy that connects to Suicide, and it’s easy to hear the band in everything that followed. But what the band actually is is two guys, one with an electric organ and one with a spooky voice, doing spooky simple riffs and saying spooky simple things. Simplicity is definitely not a dis here. The opener “Ghost Rider” makes a banger out of four notes and one instrument, and the refrain ‘America America is killing its youth’ is really all the lyrical complexity you need to fucking get it. “Cheree” and “Girl” have almost identical lyrics (‘oh baby’ vs ‘oh girl’) but “Cheree” is more like a fairy tale and “Girl” is more like a sonic handjob. “Frankie Teardrop” has the audacity to tell a ten minute story with its lyrics, but of course there is intermittent, actually way too loud screaming breaking up the narrative of a guy who loses everything then kills his family and himself. The song is basically a novelty, and I think you can probably say the whole album is a novelty between its brevity and character. But for a bite sized snack this album casts a huge shadow.

#497

Various Artists - The Indestructible Beat of Soweto

The fact that this particular compilation always ends up in the canon has a lot to do with the cultural context it existed in, being America’s first encounter with South African contemporary music during the decline of apartheid (it wouldn’t end until a decade later in 1994 with the country’s first multi-racial elections). Music journos often bring up the fact Ladysmith Black Mambazo, the all male choir singing on the album ender “Nansi Imali”, sang on Paul Simon’s Graceland like their virtue is they helped Paul Simon get over his depression and not, like, the actual music. But also like, how is the actual music? Jams. Ubiquitous, hooky guitars propel the songs along with bright choruses over low lead vocals, but I didn’t expect the synthesizer on the bop “Qhude Manikiniki”, nor the discordant hoedown violin on “Sobabamba”. “Holotelani” is a groove to walk into the sunset to.

#496

Shakira - Donde Estan los Ladrones

So this is the first head scratcher on the list. It’s not like it sucks. And I think I prefer this 90s guitar pop driven spanish language Shakira to modern superstar Shakira. But I mean, it’s an album of late nineties latin pop minivan music, with a thick syrupy middle that doesn’t do anything for me. The opener and closer stand out though.  ‘Ciega, Sordomuda’, one of the biggest pop songs of the 90s (it was #1 on the charts of literally every country in Latin America), has a galloping acoustic guitar and horn hits with Shakira’s vocals at their most percussive.

#495

Boyz II Men - II

So, if you were alive in the 90s you know Boyz II Men were fucking huge, and the worst song on the album is the second track “All Around the World”, basically a love song to their own success, and also the women they’ve banged. You can tell it was written specifically so that the crowd could go fucking wild when they heard their state/city/country mentioned in the song, and I’m not gonna double check but I’m sure they hit all fifty states. Once you’re over that hump though you basically have an hour of songs to fuck to. “U Know” keeps it catchy with propulsive midi guitar and synth horns, “Jezzebel” starts with a skit and ends with a richly layered jazz tune about falling in love on a train, and “On Bended Knee” has a Ragnarok Online type beat. Honestly this album can drag, but you’re not supposed to be listening to it alone in a state of analysis, you’re supposed to have it on during a date that’s going really, really well.

#494

The Ronettes - Presenting the Fabulous Ronettes

A singles compilation of the Ronettes, the only ones I immediately recognized were ‘Be My Baby’ and ‘Going to the Chapel of Love’, the latter of which I didn’t know existed since the version of the song I knew was by the Dixie Cups, which was apparently a source of drama since the Ronettes did it first but producer Phil Spector refused to release it. I feel like as a retro trip to sixties girl groups it’s full of enough songs about breaking up (for example “Breaking Up”) getting back together (for example “Breaking Up”) and wanting to get married but you can’t, because you’re a teenager (“So Young”).

#493

Marvin Gaye - Here, My Dear

This album only exists because Marvin was required by his divorce settlement to make it and provide all of the royalties to his ex-wife and motown executive Anna Gordy Gaye. It’s absolutely bizarre, phoned in mid tempo funk whose lyrics range from the passive aggressive (“This is what you wanted right?”) to the petulant (“Why do I have to pay attorney’s fees?”). There is a seething realness here that crosses well past the border of uncomfortable. I don’t think it’s an amazing album to listen to, but it’s an amazing album to exist: Marvin Gaye is legally obligated to throw his own divorce pity party, and everyone's invited.

#492

Bonnie Raitt - Nick of Time

I have never heard of Bonnie Raitt before but apparently this album won several grammys including album of the year in 1989 and sold 5 million copies, which I guess goes to show that no award provides less long term relevance than the grammys. The story around the album is pretty heartwarming, it was her first massive hit after a career of whiffs, and Bonnie Raitt herself is apparently a social activist and neat human being. I say all this because this sort of 80s country blues rock doesn't really connect with me, but the artist obviously deserves more than that. I unequivocally like the title track though, a hand-clap backed winding electric piano groove about literally finding love before your eggs dry up.

#491

Harry Styles - Fine Line

I do not think I have ever heard a one direction song because I am an adult who only listens to public radio. I’m totally open to pop bands or boy bands or boy band refugee solo artists, but I don’t like anything here. It’s like a mixtape of the worst pop trends of the decade, from glam rock that sounds like it belongs in a car commercial to folky bullshit that sounds like it belongs in a more family focused car commercial. This gets my first DNP (Does Not Place).

#490

Linda Ronstadt - Heart Like a Wheel

Another soft-rock blues and country album which just doesn’t land with me. But the opener “You’re No Good” is like a soul/country hybrid which still goes hard and the title track hits with the lyrics “And it's only love and it's only love / That can wreck a human being and turn him inside out”.

Current Ranking, which is weirdly almost like an inverse of the rolling stones list so far;

[roguestarsailor]

thoughts on a court of mist and fury *spoilers*

***** lots of spoilers folks *****

- MY GIRL FEYRE IS READING!! SHES READING LIKE REGULARLY AND CASUALLY IM SO PROUD

- RHYSAND MY LOVE I TAKE BACK ALL THE BAD THINGS I SAID IN BOOK ONE AND YOU ARE A BABY THAT NEEDS TO BE LOVED AND PROTECTED AND DESERVE PEACE AND QUIET AND MORE LOVE

- tamlin needs therapy like pronto; we dont stan a unsupportive partner and partner who is unwilling to share pain!! CANCEL TAMLIN 2020

- rhys popping up during the wedding scene was *chef’s kiss* and i noticed that he didn’t “claim” her as he said he would for like three months after everything. i suspect he was being a good person and literally letting her live her life. also for loving someone, tamlin was super chill and just kind of let her go??? idk i thought there would be more of a fight??? when feyre was literally like why are your claws retracting man?? fight for me??? hello??? but then again rhys is definitely more powerful than tamlin and probs some unspoken laws and such between high lords i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyways tamlin aint shit

- page 296-298! fucken shook me to my core. that self awareness, that confrontation, she identified the core of everything and it was such a turning point and im just so proud of her!!! She's recognizing her traumas and is healing!!!!!!!!!!

- yeah i immediately ship cassian and nesta; i hope she fucks shit up in the next book  😀 😀 😀 😀  

- maybe az and mor are truly the slowest of slow burns   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- i pictured pollution from good omens as how Amren is suppose to look like

- rhys is such a strong leader and im just -- baby deserves all the love. He's really good at plotting. He really made feyre learn all these things so they can nurture their love but also be a strategic advantage its interesting that even tho theres love there he still treats her like a weapon

- the joy in his rhys eyes when they winnowed into his regular ass town house that feels super lived in. and his friends banging on the door like he isn’t the feared night court high lord that he is. that was so refreshing to see that hes a regular person and not that high lord man who lives in a near empty mansion. he puts on a mask for everyone but he himself is just a regular fae.  

- reading about the peace that velaris was able to live through was beautiful. i imagined a city like san francisco with the hills and views of the ocean but kind of like the peace found in super small towns or cities in asia; maybe even some european cities (which is prob where this location is inspired by but i haven’t visited many euro cities). the scenes of ppl dining out, making art and music and just chilling is so lovely esp given our current pandemic. art is so treasured there and im like thats the epitome of a great society isn’t it? being able to do things because you just can without the pain of financial insecurity, civil unrest, etc. i definitely would love and die and for a society like that. its just so wonderful. i was filled w happiness while reading those scenes. :)

- rhys and his inner circle taking feyre out into the town and just being casual. nobody treats them like theyre royalty or anything special. theyre just a regular group of friends who enjoy hanging out. its super nice and nostalgia inducing esp during this pandemic when friends are so far away and not like it used to be.

- when rhys immediately saw how under weight and dead freye looked when she was in spring court -- AND IT WAS THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO HER WHEN HE SAW HER THROUGH THE DOOR WHILE TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN NOTICE

- i also take back my frustrations in book 1 when freye always wondering around the grounds in spring court esp during calanmai. i thought it was because the author needed to move the story forward but its just freye. she doesnt sit still and now that shes w rhys, we are seeing soooooo many things about prythian and thats beautiful. tamlin was truly a hinderance huh

- rhys sent her music when she was in the cell in Under The Mountain which was found in velaris. maybe he wasnt risking a lot but he just showed her a glimpse of the forbidden world right under aramantha’s nose holy shit he saved her from destruction!

- when rhys had his nightmare and feyre came to comfort him and kissed him on the cheeks and gave him such tenderness made my heart sing~

- rhys is literally opposite of tamlin is soooo many ways. RHYS DID THINGS OUT OF LOVE, WHILE TAMLIN DID THINGS FOR LOVE. everything from how rhys made sure feyre can grow into who she is meant to be, to how he introduces her to his friends and how he interacts w everyone in his court, how he handles pain, everything is so different than tamlin. tamlin feels pain and just bulldoze over things, doesn’t think about how his actions are hurting others even as he is hurting. he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t share, he doesn’t try to get himself or feyre out of this misery and just sees threats everywhere and hits them. he was also supper passive honestly. no doubt hes riddled w guilt and grief but can’t figure out how to handle it so he uses feyre as his crutch where if he can “save” her he will be free smh

- rhys PAYS feyre!! HE GAVE HER FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND RESPECT FOR HER WORK!! THE INDEPENDENCE THAT TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN GIVE.

- THOSE NOTES THEY SEND TO EACH OTHER SINCE FREYE CAN READ AND WRITE NOW

- Ianthe was sus from the beginning!! i knew it!! although i did bet she was gonna sleep w tamlin on the side. But she's a lot worst so we don't like her either

- the throne room scene was steamy af this time its fine because there was ~consent~ and also because we see the dynamic and growth between the two and how they work together. this was great although I was kind of like pls get a room tho

- RHYS SMILING!!! FEYRE AND RHYS LAUGHING TOGETHER UGH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

- THEY ARE MATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEYRE AND RHYS FOUND EACH OTHER AND HAD SO MANY SHARED TRAUMAS AND WORKED IT OUT TOGETHER AND GREW TOGETHER AND LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHERS QUIRKS AND ITS JUST LOVE IN ITS PUREST FORM UGH THAT SCENE WHERE RHYS WAS CRYING AND FEYRE HEATED UP FOOD FOR THE BABY AHH MY HEARTTTTT  MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEARTTTTTT IS BURSTING WITH LOVEEEEEE

- LUCIEN AND ELAINE HOLY FUCK WHAT A LEFT FIELDER i hope this is the push that will propel lucien to defy tamlin. going back to the contrast between how tamlin vs his court and rhys vs his court, rhys has a group of unwavering loyal friends and are treated equally esp letting them joke around so much and it feels like a casual group of friends hanging out. tamlin has just as much loyalty from lucien but theres still a power structure that tamlin maintains. luciens words doesn’t have much weight whereas rhys’s friends do. both tamlin and rhys have so much power and sway and similarity in traumas and tragedy but both execute things completely differently. tamlin only wants to upload what he is familiar with, maybe what he thinks his father wants whereas rhys actively tries to think of something better, to change the system regardless of how hard it is.

- tamlin you dumbass. He didn't learn from amarantha. He again let his pride fuck over a bunch of other ppl. He shat on amarantha and fucked over his court. Now he fucked the rest of prythian and human world by bargaining w the king. Smh goodbye tamlin

- I straight up knew the queens were bad!!! I knew they had to be plotting something. The sixth is "ill" my ass.

- LADY OF THE NIGHT COURT LETS GO FEYRE AND WOOWW WE STAN A MAN BREAKING TRADITIONS AND SUPPORTING EQUALITY

- when hybern was destroying velaris. I WAS GONNA THROW HANDS BRO. I'm glad we saw the extend of how powerful feyre could be and how she was clever and we can really see how she's completely different from before. She has bite and fight in her and it's so refreshing!

- how about we let az and cassian live in peace. Those boys had to deal w the blunt of literally everything. from being the only shield in valeris to poison/hurt wings against the king, just beat up all the time 🥺

- suriel is their version of a wikipedia

--

I read all 600 damn pages in like 2.5 days and I was loving it the entire time! My heart sored when feyre and Rhys were getting close and starting to break down their walls and really connect. This was a truly good enemies to lovers, slow burn tale and the drama is so great. There were good stakes that changes a character and their behavior and a good balance of action and excitement but at the same time so many little moments that let u see the character and how they interact w each other and the world. a lot of big plot moments, slice of life moments, a bit of romance and comedy. overall, an amazing book but super long. thus far this is my favorite book and im hoping the rest of the books can be just as charming and lovely but not too heart breaking. i hope rhys and feyre makes it. i cannot predict what to expect in the other books in the series (isn’t there gonna be 8 books total???) 

[mysmedrabbles]

RFA + V and Saeran Reacting to MC Being a Male Idol

requested: by anonymous

a/n: know that throughout writing this whole thing i was imagining mc as being Taehyun from txt ,,,, also im just gonna pretend like most of korea isn't blatantly homophobic and instead focus on the fluff

like kpop? want more kpop rfa crossovers? donate here to keep me alive and able to work!

warnings: n/a

-tbh not fit enough to be an idol mod alex

Jumin

-frankly he has no idea who you are, so its pretty much from square one with him

-for a while until the two of you get fully used to being together, he actively avoids looking up who you are,,, he wants to know you as you and nothing else

-eventually of course, curiosity gets the better of him and he does look you up on YouTube

-he can’t help but admit you’re extremely talented, the cinematography, of course excellent... but he cant stop focusing on the way you move, strong legs propelling you forward, baggy shirt failing to hide defined muscles, cocky smile as you rap your lines, hair sw- jumin no. jumin yes

-jumin han does gay

-your music style isn’t his favorite, preferring the smooth sound of bow grazing softly on violin strings as opposed to softcore rap, but the songs are catchy, he’ll give you that

-he supports you of course, and secretly buys all your merch

-jumins main issue was with how popular you were, not (only) out of a place of timid jealousy, but also because it made going places so much harder, and your manager was even worse, constantly yelling at you and demanding you practice more

-you always come home from practice exhausted, collapsing into your husbands arms as you curl up under his solid embrace, savoring the few minutes you had of complete and utter freedom.

-highly disgruntled when you have to go on tour

-tries his best to accompany you on tour, scheduling meetings with people he needed to have meetings with anyway nearby where you were performing just to get a few more hours with you

Jaehee

-supportive! she’ll never admit it, but she listens to your music on her way to work, it helps her wake up and feel cheery for the new day, getting her pumped and ready

-yes she owns all your albums

-loves you a l m o s t as much as she loves zen

-she visits you during practice, unable to stop herself from ogling at the way you move so gracefully, yet holding yourself with so much power as you dance

-she lets it slip that you’re not her bias, however if it makes you feel any better you are her bias wrecker

-yes she has a favourite photoshoot of yours and yes she does have a small folder in her gallery dedicated to photos that she deems make her want to cry

-she gets along really well with the rest of the members, and they always invite her with you guys to hang out after work, going together to get Bulgogi or Samgyeopsal

Yoosung

-in awe

-in love

-he’s not generally one for your style of music but seeing you and your group perform, he falls in love almost instantly, bingeing on all your videos, eyes focused on you in every MV, every interview,, he’s so proud of his boyfriend!!

-hes always singing your songs under his breath, albeit badly, but its funny to hear him mumbling incoherent melodies as he’s cooking, especially when you sneak up behind him and attack him in a hug, making is voice squeak out in surprise 

-constantly bragging to his friends that his boyfriend is an idol!! (assuming you’re in like,,, JinHit or something where you're,, allowed to openly date)

-he’s in the front row of every single show you go to! proudly wearing your merch and calling out your name like any other fanboy, so excited and proud of how far you’ve come

-he likes coming to the studio and watching you and the other members rehearse

-often times when you’re working late he’ll come with food in hand, refusing to leave until you eat and take a break. even then he doesnt leave, instead, determined, he waits for you to finish your work, but ultimately falling asleep on the couch behind you

Seven

- “STREAM (group name)’S NEW SINGLE  CROWN PIANO!!!!”

-wdym join the amino? seven Created your groups amino page

-he’s your number one fan, constantly applauding your work and keeping your spirits uplifted, often you’ll walk in on him watching dance tutorials of your choreography, messing around and trying to learn certain moves

-he grins so widely when you walk in, watching him goof off from the doorway, completely in love with the boy in front of you

-pulls you in the room, music still blasting on high as you dance spasmodically together, no a care in the world, just you, him and the 10 CCTV cameras

-while he’s working, muttering numbers and words foreign to you, you’re right there next to him muttering song lyrics and melodies, composing music and bits, guitar riffs and lyrics

-every once in a while when you want his opinion on something, you just unplug his headphones from his laptop and plug it into yours staring at him intently until he gives feedback

-10/10 will hack into your schedule (at JinHit) if you seem more exhausted than usual, giving you more days to rest and recover from any injuries you may have received the days before in practice

-he has attended every single one of your meet n greets, until at some point he became something of a cryptid on the internet, no one knowing who the man with the red hair and funky glasses is any why he’s always with you

-they're gay Steven

Zen

-P-O-W-E-R-C-O-U-P-L-E

-not only are you the hottest couple in Korea, but also undoubtedly the most committed to their work, and yet somehow both of you maintain a stable relationship

-it takes a lot of communication seeing as you both have hectic work lives, but both you and Zen have a schedule where both of you finish work around the same time, him generally finishing a bit earlier, then coming to your studio to pick you up and go home together, then spending the rest of your time together

- “mc please teach me the choreo to your new dance!!!!!”

-he purposefully fails, just as an excuse to make you touch him, readjust his arms, hold his hips as you show him the right way to do something

-having extensive skincare routines together and working out constantly, him putting emphasis on how you need to stay healthy and gorgeous

-casually dropping his name in interviews and everyone goes insane, best crossover of the century

V

-another power couple

-your instagram is filled with stunning photos of the two of you because of him, having the cutest photoshoots together

-such a supportive bean! he loves your dedication to your work, and how hard you’re always practicing

-he’s never really heard of your group, but he has a nice appreciation of your music, what really gets him is how expertly crafted your music videos are

-he’s not sure how to really react to your fame, but the steadily increasing amount of bodyguards around the two of you might be one way to cope

-since he’s a freelancer he can generally come with you wherever you go for tours and interviews, and because of this he’s had quite the increase of fame, getting new perspectives and ideas for new photographic series

-he gets v e r y clingy when you come home from practice late, this whole ass 5′10 man curling up next to you, burying his head in your chest, and with your arms having no where else to go except for go around him, you earn a small whimper from V, his hands clinging onto your shirt as you feel all the tension and stress leave his body

-please dont leave your husband alone for so long

-overall he’s just extraordinarily proud of you, because he knows how hard it is to stay relevant and survive in the any korean industry, but especially entertainment and music

Saeran

-hates when you go on tour

-cant help but admit he likes your music

-but hates tour 

-shy bean when he remembers he’s married to one of the top Kings of Kpop, and always wondering if he’s enough for you

-at one point he got so frustrated at the fact that it’d been exactly 46 days since he’d last seen you, and the constant string of thirst everyone showed for HIS husband on social media got to him so much that he shows up at the airport where hundreds of screaming fangirls await. your bodyguards recognize him immediately and let him through.

-he promptly takes your arm as he drags you back and away into the plane, pressing you up against the wall as he kisses you intensely, bottled up frustration exploding in passion, leaving the fans very confused as to why someone kidnapped you again

[emeraldwaves]

Title: What We Lack Part 10 Pairing:  Kacchako, Deku/Melissa, Todomomo Rating: T Word Count: 4,079 Read on Ao3 Summary:  

Quirkless.

They’re the last people anyone expects to have a child without a quirk.

Neither of them can fully wrap their heads around it, but Ochako knows Katsuki is struggling far more than her.

Thank you to @its-love-u-asshole for beta-ing

Full fic under the cut

His hands shook as he held the unopened letter in his hand. His future, the entire path of his life rode on the answer inside of it. He took a deep breath, his eyes fixated on the envelope, as if he could see through it.

"You're being kinda dramatic, Shou," Sayuri said, raising her eyebrow at him.

"Sayu... be nice. I'm sure you'll be just as nervous when you apply to high schools," Ochako said softly, placing her hand on Shouhei's shoulder. "It's going to be okay sweetheart-"

"Just open the damn thing!" Katsuki hissed, slamming his hand on the table.

"Katsuki!" Ochako gasped.

"Shut up, Dad! I bet you took forever to open yours!" Shouhei snapped, glaring at his father.

"Yeah, right," Ochako rolled her eyes. "Knowing your father, he probably tore the letter open with his teeth."

"Gross!" Sayuri giggled. "You would do that." She wrinkled her nose and nudged her dad in the side.

"Shut up, all of you and let Shouhei open his freaking letter!" he said, folding his arms over his chest.

"You were the one who was pressuring him to open it faster!" Sayuri said.

"I'm going to open it in my room if you all don't shut up!" Shouhei snorted, shaking his head.

He tucked his finger under the back of the envelope, pulling up on the sealed down flap. He yanked the paper out, tossing the envelope aside as he began to scan the letter. "U.A. is... proud to welcome Bakugou Shouhei.... to class 1-A!"

Ochako immediately cheered, throwing her hands up as she wrapped them around her son, snuggling him so hard. "The same class as us and everything!! Oh my boy!" she said, and cupped his cheeks, pulling him into a large hug. "I knew you could do it! You're going to be amazing!"

"Thanks, Mom," he said, a huge smile on his face. "I wasn't too worried either."

"We'll have to celebrate! Tomorrow, Katsuki and I will get home early and we can all go to dinner together!!" she said, bouncing up and down. "I'm so excited!" Ochako danced about, clapping her hands together. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Great fuckin' job," Katsuki said, letting his hand fall onto Shouhei's shoulder. "I knew you'd kick ass. You're my goddamn son. I knew you were going to do just as great as your mother and me."

"Thanks Dad."

For a moment, Sayuri watched the scene take place. Her mother cupping Shouhei's face, her father with the widest smirk she had ever seen... Did she even belong here? She would never experience this to the same level... sure, her parents would be proud of her when she finally got into high school, where ever she chose to go. But she would never be a pro-hero, she would never be in the same classes her parents were in...

She bit on her lip, trying to swallow her jealousy. She should be happy for her brother, focusing on celebrating his successes, one day she would have her own... She just hated being the odd ball, the only one of them to be on the outside. It was as if someone put up a piece of glass between her and them, and she was simply watching her family life play out as if she wasn't around.

"Well, Sayuri?" Ochako asked. "You don't have anything to say to your brother?"

"Huh!? Oh... Sorry! Spacing out... oops. " She laughed and leaped forward to hug him. "Congratulations, Shou..." she said quieter. "You're gonna kick some major ass, for both of us!"

"For both of us!" Shou nodded.

The four of them laughed for awhile longer, Katsuki and Ochako sharing stories of their first year. "I really hope it won't be as eventful for you, Shou," Ochako sighed. "There were too many things that happened in our first year."

"Even if it is, Shou is gonna kick ass. No villain will hold my son back," Katsuki hissed.

"Well, please do not get kidnapped like your father did, I think I will have a heart attack if you do," Ochako whined.

"Oi! I ended up being fine!" he snarled. Both Sayuri and Shouhei had heard the story plenty of times, but it always changed depending on who was telling it. Katsuki often talked about All Might's heroic end, while Ochako, Uncle Deku and Uncle Eijirou talked about how Katsuki never would've been okay if the small group hadn't sneaked out of the hospital. Though admittedly, Sayuri had a difficult time imagining Uncle Tenya and Auntie Momo doing anything remotely against the rules.

She would probably never know the true story, but she loved when they talked about it.

To her, her parents were incredible; absolutely perfect. Her mother was flawless, her quirk unique and obviously difficult to master. And her father was number 1, though occasionally Uncle Deku and Uncle Shouto would beat him. For as long as she could recall, the three had been at odds.

But to her, Katsuki would always be the image of a true hero.

"I should probably go finish my homework," Sayuri admitted, at the end of one of Ochako's rushed, but excited stories.

"Okay sweetheart," Ochako nodded.

"Good girl. Get your work done and get to bed early."

"Okay, Dad," she said, rolling her eyes. Sometimes she forgot how much of a nerd her father could be.

"I gotta go call Yuuta and see if he got in too!" Shouhei said, pulling his phone from his pocket.

Sayuri stepped into her room with a sigh, letting the door shut behind them. On her nightstand stood her parents’ figures and she looked at them with sad eyes. Would they ever care about what she chose to do? Even if she followed in Melissa's footsteps and helped create technology to assist heroes, would her parents find that as amazing as her brother?

She looked down at her hands. Having her father's quirk would've been so cool. She would propel herself through the sky and explode stupid bullies who were rude and...

Clenching her fists, she let them drop to her side.

She had to stop dreaming about having a quirk when she knew it was never going to happen.

~~

Yuuta stared at his brother, biting down on his lip. He trailed his finger over the top of the envelope and Arata let out a sigh, watching the nervous movement. He prayed they both got in... or if one of them got in, he prayed it was Arata.

"How about you both open on three?" Momo suggested, gently touching their shoulders. "I'll count."

"Good idea," Shouto nodded, looking between both his boys.

"One, two three, go!" Momo cheered, and both boys tore the top of the envelope off.

 U.A is proud to welcome Todoroki Yuuta into class 1-A.

He blinked, reading the sentence again. Todoroki Yuuta was certainly his name, so it wasn't wrong. He thought for sure he was going to fail.

1-A... the same class as his parents.

His lips slowly pulled into a smile. "I-I got in!" he said, "I got in! Class 1-A" he repeated, as if he needed to say it to believe it himself.

"Our old class! That's wonderful Yuu!" Momo said and leaned over to kiss the side of his head. "Arata?"

Arata stood, clutching the sheet of paper between his trembling hands, his chest heaved with his deep breaths. "This is fucking stupid," he growled, slamming the paper down on the table as he stormed off towards his room.

"Oh... Arata... " Momo said, frowning as she started to walk after him. "Sweetheart, it's okay," she called out, stopping short when he slammed the door to his room directly in her face.

"Arata!" Shouto called out. "There's no reason to slam the door in your mother's face. We can discuss this." His tone grew more calm as he continued to talk.

Yuuta bit down on his lip and leaned forward to grab Arata's paper. Had he really not gotten in? There was no way... Arata excelled at the physical tests and Yuuta was certain he must've done well on the written exam so... why-

He paused as he read the words on the page.

 U.A is proud to welcome Todoroki Arata into class 1-B.

The B-class. It wasn't technically any different than class 1-A, both of them learned the same things and were required to take the same classes, but... maybe because it wasn't the same as their parents... Arata felt it was lesser?

"A-Arata!" Yuuta called out. "Did you read your letter wrong?"

He probably hadn't... but he wanted to reassure his brother. He made his way towards his door, holding his letter.

The door swung open and Arata reached out, yanking the letter from Yuuta's hands. "I read it just fine."

"Then... why are you upset?"

"Because I..." he glared at Yuuta and shook his head. "It's none of your damn business!" he hissed and slammed the door once more.

"...Arata..." Momo whispered, gently placing her hand on the door. "Please talk to us. We're your family we want to help. We should be celebrating together!"

"What did it say, Yuu?" Shouto asked, looking to his other son.

"He's in. He's in class 1-B."

"Ah..." Shouto sighed. "This is nothing to be upset over, Arata. The A class and the B classes are the same."

"Please come out, we should be celebrating!" Momo repeated softly. Once again, they were met with complete silence.

"I'm... going to call Shouhei..." Yuuta said, feeling the awkward tension in the air. He didn't wish to upset his parents any more.

"That's fine," Shouto nodded, gently stroking down Momo's back.

"Maybe tomorrow then… we can...!" she said, looking disheartened.

"I'll speak to Arata and we can celebrate during dinner tomorrow," Shouto said. "Let's... give him his space for now." He sighed, looking at the door. Yuuta slowly backed away, listening to his parents continue the conversation. This was supposed to be a momentous, happy occasion... so why was Arata so mad?

"It seems Arata has some anger he needs to work through," Shouto whispered, and Yuuta listened in closely from down the hall.

"I just don't understand where it's coming from. The B class is exactly the same... he should be happy," Momo said, distress clear in her voice.

Yuuta hated seeing his parents like this, but it wasn't worth it to try and argue with Arata when he was in such a horrible damn mood.

He gently placed his own letter back down on the table. Hopefully they could all celebrate soon.

~~

"Arata got MAD!?" Shouhei yelled, his voice echoing through the night as they sat on the slide in the park. Yuuta lay against Shouhei, letting the other boy gently stroke through his hair.

"Shh, Shouhei!" he giggle and Shouhei gently nudged his head.

Ever since the exam, they'd been like this, closer and more willing to touch. Yuuta liked it.

They met in the park, a little while after finding out they would share the same class through their high school experience. The park had become their secret meeting spot over the past few weeks. Normally they swung on the swings, or hid out in the hollow turtle, but tonight, Yuuta was happy to be lying closer to him.

He always felt more distressed when his brother was so unhappy.

"My parents are really upset," Yuuta said softly. "He won't come out of his room and explain why."

"Do you know why? Sayuri seemed a little upset too. She disappeared to do homework tonight damn fast. But that's typical of her, she always gets a little weird when quirk stuff comes up."

"That makes sense..." Yuuta said softly. "I would be sensitive too if I was her... But Arata has no reason to be upset. The B class and the A class are the same... we're going to have different teachers but... it'll be the same," he says softly.

"Maybe you should talk to him?" Shouhei suggested, gently rubbing at his neck.

"That's the thing... Arata has barely been talking to me lately. He just seems like a giant ball of rage..." Yuuta puffed out his cheeks, frustrated with his brother.

"Yeah... that's weird. He's always been more energetic than you, but he seems really pissed lately. I mean he even told on us for sticking up for Sayuri," Shouhei scoffed. "How is it that you're so damn perfect, and your brother is a fucking nightmare?!"

"Shou-kun! He's not a nightmare... he's just... closed off right now. I wish I could figure out why."

"Yeah... it just sucks... I mean we should all be fuckin' celebrating!" he sighed, leaning back against the slide.

Yuuta turned his head and snorted. "We can still celebrate!"

"But I know you, you're gonna be all 'meh', if your brother isn't happy about it too."

Yuuta pouted. "Well... but... I'm still happy you and I are in the same class."

Shouhei pushed himself up, smirking as he leaned in towards Yuuta. "Hell yes!"

"S-Shou!" he blushed and leaned back, almost falling off the end of the slide before Shouhei grabbed his arm and pulled him back, their noses almost touching. "Th-Thanks..." he breathed.

"Think... I could celebrate by kissing you?" Shouhei whispered, his brown eyes flicking down towards Yuuta's lips.

His breath hitched. He would've been a liar if he said he hadn't considered kissing Shouhei before. He just... never expected him to ask.

"O-Okay..." he muttered and Shouhei immediately closed the space between their lips, gripping his arm hard. His lips were dry, but Yuuta didn't mind as he pushed back against the kiss. Shouhei was playful, nipping at Yuuta's lower lip as he brought his hand around his waist, kissing him deeper.

Yuuta thought his heart was going to explode right out of his chest. He could feel his flames desperate to crawl out of his palms, the excitement in his bones rising.

"Wow..." Shouhei smirked. "I should've done that way sooner."

"Sooner?!" Yuuta exclaimed. "I mean I don't want to act like I haven't wanted to kiss you, but sooner! Of course I did think about it from time to time but I was really nervous you would take it the wrong way and-"

Snorting, Shouhei clapped his hands around Yuuta's cheeks. "Calm down, Yuuta. You always overthink shit!"

They both laughed. "I-I know..." he muttered. "But it was good! The kiss I mean!"

"Good!" Shouhei smirked and leaned in to kiss him one more time. "Then I can do it whenever I want!"

"Well we should be careful about PDA-"

"Oh my fucking god, Yuuta, you're lucky you're the cutest little shit," he snorted and cupped his cheeks.

"Okay, okay. I just meant we should also focus on school."

"Right! I gotta practice so I can kick your ass at the sports fest!" Shouhei smirked, squeezing Yuuta's cheeks.

He paled. "The sports fest?"

"Yeah! You know-"

"No, no... I know but ... I don't wanna have to fight you!" he said distressed. "Or Arata!" The whole concept sounded awful. If he was face to face with either of them... could he use his quirk against them?

"Oh man, kicking your brother's smug ass would be fun too!" he smirked.

"Shou-kun!" Yuuta said, playfully hitting him.

"It's gonna be fun, you need to stop worrying! I'm sure once we move in and shit, Arata will lighten up too," Shouhei sighed, leaning back. This time he pulled Yuuta with him and two lay together on the slide.

Maybe Shouhei was right... maybe he did worry too much. He tried to focus on the boy in front of him, instead of worrying about things currently out of his control.

~~

Sayuri leaned back against her desk, kicking her feet up. "This is so dumb, school is almost over anyway," she sighed. "Can we just have our break for fuck's sake!!?"

"Sayu-chan... I don't think you should be sitting like that. You know you're just going to get in trouble," Kazu said, leaning forward to speak in her ear.

"Oh, come on, Kazu-kun! No one is looking! People don't give two shits about me."

"Bakugou-san, please put your legs down. It is inappropriate for the classroom," their teacher’s smooth tone cut through the classroom and Sayuri immediately pouted, groaning.

"This is stupid."

"I don't want to say I told you so..."

"You know you sound like your fucking Mom when you say shit like that Kazu," Sayuri hissed under her breath.

"Well... you kinda sound like your dad so..."

"Ugh," she groaned and yanked out her notebook, scribbling in it as opposed to paying attention. She was so over middle school and she still had two more damn years left there. Shouhei was so damn lucky, getting to go to high school.

Not that she could imagine high school would be any better for her.

During lunch, she immediately turned her chair around. "I'm counting down the weeks," she scoffed, tapping her foot against the ground.

"I know," Kazu chuckled. "To be honest, I'm pretty excited too."

"Yeah..." she said, yanking her chopsticks apart.

"Oh Mom wanted me to ask you if you planned on coming to the lab at all during break?" Kazu said. "I was planning on helping her with some projects and she suggested I ask you too."

Sayuri's eyes began to sparkle. "Projects!? Hero projects!?"

"Well, presumably that's what it would be-"

"FUCK YES!" she yelled, cheering her hands up towards the sky.

Kazu snorted, laughing hard. "I guess I'll tell her yes."

"Ugh yes please," Sayuri rolled her eyes. "My brother got into U.A yesterday, which is great, yay, I'm happy for him, but... it's all my parents are talking about and planning for and I can't listen to it anymore."

"Oh, congrats to Shou-kun!" Kazu smiled, but immediately pursed his lips. "But... are you okay, Sayu-chan?"

Twisting her lips, Sayuri let out a long sigh. "I mean... define... okay. I'm happy for my brother... but I think you know I'm tired of being the quirkless kid."

"Yeah but, you do amazing things too!" Kazu chuckled. "And you'll continue to do amazing things. Just look at my Mom!"

She blushed, feeling guilty. She really tried her best not to talk about her quirklessness, especially around Kazu. He was sensitive to it too, because of both of his parents... however, sometimes it was hard to hold back the emotions bursting inside of her.

Besides, there were somethings she didn't know how to explain. How could she tell Kazu she was concerned her father judged her quirklessness, when she knew all the awful things he'd said to Uncle Deku, Kazu's dad?

"Yeah! I know!" she said, and waved her hand quickly. "It's just hard when your parents are two of the greatest heroes and my brother is on track to be one too and I just..." she sighed. "I'm... really looking forward to working with you and your Mom over the break." She forced herself to smile. She was legitimately excited, it was just... different.

Kazu, however, immediately smiled and pulled out his notebook. "Great! I have so many ideas of what we could work on! Lemme show you some of my favorites. We don't have too much time though, so we shouldn't dawdle!"

He began to explain various techniques and thoughts he had and Sayuri continued to listen. She honestly did enjoy watching Kazu get so excited about his ideas, and admittedly she was excited too. Being around Kazu and his mother especially, always made her feel better.

~~

Arata slung his bag over his shoulder, his heart pounding in his chest. The words on the letter were burned into his mind.

 U.A is proud to welcome Todoroki Arata into class 1-B.

1-B.

What a fucking joke.

And of course... of course Yuuta was in class 1-A. Just like their parents were. Perfect Yuuta.

The thoughts only made him walk faster.

it didn't make sense to him. He was supposed to be strong. He used his quirk often; The crystallized, hot fire dangerous and interesting. Yuuta, on the other hand, rarely used his quirk. Sometimes his blue flames would erupt from his palms and Yuuta would freak out, like he was scared of it. He hadn't done that as much lately, not since he and Shouhei started getting closer.

Shouhei was probably in 1-A as well. The only kid of the Bakugous' who had a quirk? Of course U.A. would take Shouhei.

His parents kept trying to reassure him 1-A and 1-B were the same, the only difference was they would have different homeroom teachers. But it didn't matter. He should've been in the higher class... he should've been better than Yuuta and Shouhei and everyone...

Yuuta hadn't even left the damn starting line during one of the tests.

It made him so angry. He watched his father and mother all over the news, constantly saving people, working so hard to do the best they could. His grandfather was mentioned often too. Him and Yuuta were legacy heroes... it should've been both of them in the first class... but no... of course they would split them up.

He hated how the anger boiled inside of him. He saw how frustrated his father looked and how his mother looked like she wanted to cry. He supposed he was the disappointing child.

And right now he was about to disappoint his father even more.

He didn't want to be weak... not anymore. He wanted to be as good as his father... better even. He wanted to prove to his parents and the world he was meant to be a Todoroki.

He swallowed, glancing down at his phone when it buzzed. He'd been looking at the map here and there, but he was purposefully avoiding his texts.

[Text from: Dad]: Where are you? Your mother and I want to speak to you. We're very proud and happy. We should be celebrating.

That was why.

After staying in his room all day yesterday, he decided to slip away after school. Of course, he forgot they said they planned on having a celebration dinner, mostly because he had absolutely no desire to participate in said dinner.

He also noted he had an unread message from Yuuta and far too many from his mother.

[Text from: Yuu]: Maybe we should talk? Just me and you? I promise I won't say anything to Mom or Dad.

Yeah, Yuuta was the last person he wanted to talk to.

[Text from: Mother]: Sweetheart, you didn't walk home with Yuuta. Did you go somewhere?

[Text from: Mother]: It's okay if you did... just want to make sure you're okay.

[Text from: Mother]: Arata?

[Text from: Mother]: If you need space... I'll be happy to give it to you. I just... want to know why you're so upset. Please talk to me.

This many texts wasn't exactly giving him space, but he did feel bad she was so worried. His mother always worried too much, and he did understand why. His father mentioned once or twice how difficult it was for them to actually be conceived. On top of that, being heroes in the spotlight made their kids targets for potential villain attacks. Still, Arata wished she would relax from time to time.

It had been years since he'd been to this neighborhood, and he praised everything for phones because he was certain he would've gotten lost by now. He reopened his map, double checking he was going the right way.

When he finally arrived outside the house, he took a deep breath. He felt his stomach flip flop with a mix of excitement and fear. He was going to be better... he was going to get stronger.

He opened the small gate, letting it creak shut behind him. Taking a deep breath, he pressed his finger against the small doorbell.

Within a few moments, he heard footsteps as the door slowly opened. There before him was his grandfather, Todoroki Enji, Endeavor.

"...Hi Grandpa..." he muttered, bowing his head. "I-I know I haven't seen you in awhile-"

"Arata?" Enji's voice was booming, and Arata forgot how much of a presence the man held. His brow furrowed.

Arata turned his eyes towards his grandfather, and quickly bowed again.

"Please!" he begged. "I want to be stronger! Please train me!"

[thekaijudude]

Okay now here’s a two vs two matchup, Ultraseven and Ultraman Jack vs Gigan and Megalon

Hi!

Wow this is definitely gonna be a test of my memory of the two ultra series but ill try my best lol

The two Ultras in question are actually much more than a match for Gigan and Megalon tbh (Also im gonna use Millennium Gigan here as youll soon see why Gigan needs the amp here)

But as usual, the Showa Ultras are always holding back for the sake of having dramatic fights as well as them always showing mercy to their opponents. However, I shall use some of the actual feats that the Ultras have displayed to give you an idea how strong they truly are in order to explain how I arrived at my conclusion

Ultraseven (1967)

Seven is very well known for his expertise in using the Ultra Willpower as well as the Eye Slugger, not to mention that he can combine both tactics to use in battle as well.

With his Ultra Willpower, he can literally toss opponents and negate any homing attacks and either redirect them at his enemies or simply just destroy them, and even if he dosent manage to do so, he has an ability called ‘Body Spark’, which repels any projectile attack.

His Emerium Beam is strong enough to literally vaporize enemies. But for stronger opponents where his Emerium Beam doesn’t even faze them, his Wide Shot (which I highly suspect is still suppressed) can still manage to vaporize all of the flesh off them, leaving only bones behind. 

Even so, his Eye Slugger is also so sharp that its able to cleanly slice an enemy in two like a knife through butter in one episode when the Emerium Beam also had no effect on the kaiju.

As for his physical capabilities:

He has enough strength to literally tear off appendages of kaiju as seen with Gyeron.

Has also managed to survive being ran over by the 70 000t Dinosaur tank multiple times

Shrugs off a beam that one shot Windom, a mech from alien gut’s spaceship

Not to mention he can literally manually recharge his energy due to him having special Ultra Protectors to absorb sunlight

The next few feats of power will exemplify how strong Seven truly is as in these battles were the stakes were very high, Seven shows a hint of his true power:

1. In the episode where he fought Crazygon, even though his Emerium Beam and Wide Shot were unable to damage him, his sheer speed after being propelled from a rocket launcher was literally able to one-shot him

(Note that in that final fight, Seven was already critically injured)

2. In the final arc, Seven was already severely low on energy due to his fights on Earth, he still manages to kill the final boss of his own series, Pandon, TWICE.

And in the second battle he still manages to use his ultra willpower to one shot reconstructed pandon 

(Note that in the second battle, Seven was even weaker than in the first round and yet he still can exert this much control over his Ultra Willpower, imagine his max control at perfect condition)

3. Fought Petero on the moon at sub zero temperature (Lets remember that most M78 Ultras are weak to cold) where Seven had to finish the fight fast, he absorbed the little amount of energy obtained from a nearby asteroid which collided on the moon to obliterate Petero with one wide shot

4. He bested Robot Ultraseven, his virtual equal without much difficulty

(As the creators of Robot Ultraseven analysed the fights Seven had, they engineered it to be supposedly as strong as Seven’s displayed fighting prowess (except the emerium beam iirc), but the fact that Seven still managed to best him supports the fact that Seven was holding back a lot in his previous fights prior to the encounter with Robot Ultraseven)

Current Ultraseven:

In Ultra Fight Orb, he was able to manhandle King Joe, when in 1967 he could virtually do nothing against it

In the Orb Movie, Seven’s eye slugger was able to cut through the Deavorick Cannon, the attack that sent Orb Trinity back, aside from its sheer force, this also says something about his reaction speed as well.

Seven was able to physically grapple with Deavorick along with Orb Trinity(whom stats is MONSTROUS as most of his stats are the highest ever recorded), does this means that Seven and by extension the current ultra brothers can be scaled to OT? Its debatable but that’s a question to be answered for another time.

Ultraman Jack (1971)

Considering that throughout his series, we see that he oftenly incorporates lifting his opponent and tossing them around into his fighting style so I think it’s fair to assume that Jack is physically stronger than Ultraman and Seven (Even if he isn’t, he’s arguably stronger than both of them overall as ill explain later)

Moreover, considerably more of Jack’s battles in his series involves him fighting two kaijus simultaneously, so he’s definitely no stranger to getting double teamed so taking on both Gigan and Megalon is no issue for him.

He could probably take Millennium Gigan with ease considering Jack literally tossed Black King (60 000t) way up into the air who weighs exactly the same as Millennium Gigan with seemingly no effort at all

This is further cemented when Jack picked and launched Builgamo easily as well who was 68 000t 

Not to mention that he lifted and tossed around Seagorath which weighed 52 000t (when his colour timer was flashing red no less)

Another point to note that Jack seems to oftenly use his vastly superior strength along with his speed in aerial battles with airborne enemies. He literally just accelerates towards an opponent and throws them off course mid flight with so much force that made a tanky airborne enemy like Terochilus hit the ground and died immediately upon impact, we see him do this very often (Note that it was shown to be unfazed by Jack’s Ultra Shot and Specium Ray previously)

Also a rather significant point to note that he transforms through pure ultra willpower without any henshin item, does that mean his Ultra Willpower is stronger than Ultras who require a henshin item to transform? This point is debatable but very convincing as we saw one instance of Jack possibly using his Ultra Willpower on such a level that we’ve never seen before, which was when he literally repelled a Tsunami that was stated to be ‘hundreds of feet tall’ created by Seagorath via his Ultra Barrier but u can argue that he either actually used his Ultra Willpower or ‘reinforced’ his Barrier with his Ultra Willpower

On the topic of Jack being pit against kaiju who could summon natural disasters, I remember that there were 2 more of such cases:

1. Created a Typhoon that was even stronger than Varricane’s which launched it into space

2. Defeated King Bockle who could summon Earthquakes on a whim

We can also assume that overall, jack also has a stronger beam potency that Ultraman and Seven as significantly more one shots occurred within his series

Not to mention that his Cinerama Shot was stated to be 10x stronger than Seven’s Wide Shot (Note that it wasn’t clarified whether its 10x stronger than the normal, uncharged Wide Shot or the Charged Wide Shot)

Jack also displayed strength at least on par with Ultraman and Seven as he was able to chop off the solid horns and literally tear of the arms off Paragon

As for his durability,

He is vulnerable to electricity but his Ultra Armor could tank more than the damage done by a nuclear missile in addition to being resistant to fire.

His head is also stated to be 2000x harder than iron. To put this in perspective,  Mechagodzilla’s Space titanium armor is 10x stronger than steel, steel is 2x stronger than iron, which makes Jack (1971) 100x tougher than Showa Mechagodzilla

So yeah, can you even imagine Gigan being able to tear through Mechagodzilla in the first place?

At this point if you don’t think Jack is OP yet, well he essentially becomes almost BROKEN after he receives his Ultra Bracelet from Seven.

You can see the entire list of abilities the Ultra Bracelet (Which is probably non-exhaustive tbh) has on Ultrawiki but ill highlight some significant ones:

1. For those kaiju that Jack can’t defeat with his already IMMENSE strength? 

Well the Ultra Bracelet one shots them with the Ultra Spark which can make a tough kaiju like Magnedon which could hold out against several billion volts of electricity explode in one shot

2. Jack was once frozen solid and mutilated, but Ultra Bracelet literally

a) Rejoined his mutilated pieces back together

b) Unfroze him

c) At literally NO COST AT ALL

3. Reflects projectile attacks with a higher potency than original

But you could say that jack’s physical attacks were as lethal as Ultra Spark as we saw Alien Zelan used the Ultra Bracelet against jack and made the Bracelet released hundreds of Ultra Sparks which Jack managed to parry a few before finally being overwhelmed

Jack also defeated a stronger variant of Zetton that Ultraman fought and lost against, this time being Zetton Gen 2 which Ultraman himself initially warned Jack to stay away from. But Jack went to fight Zetton anyways, while against  Alien Bat simultaneously nonetheless 

Also let’s not forget, Jack also literally defeated a planet eater that was Vaccumon (was stated to be infinite in size but yeah DOUBTS, but his planetary feats were undeniable) and the sword the Ultra Bracelet transformed into was used to kill it (This also says something about this particular sword the Ultra Bracelet transformed into)

Current Ultraman Jack

In Ultraman Zero the Chronicle when Zero and Jack were having a spar with their own respective Ultra Lances, Jack was able to position his Ultra Lance close to Zero’s chest, nearly impaling him just after Zero descended on him after the latter distracted him with his Ultra Willpower.

This shows that current Jack’s reaction speed is probably much faster than Zero’s flight speed which is Mach 7

In Ultra Fight Orb, Jack easily manhandled Gudon and Twintail with no difficulty at all when both of them forced Jack to retreat back in 1971

So tbh as far as Gigan and Megalon goes, theres not much they can do against Seven and Jack.

None of their attacks have enough firepower to rival even a nuclear missile

Jack is essentially immune to Megalon’s Napalm Bombs

Millennium Gigan’s Bladed Slicers wont work cause both ultras have their Ultra Willpower which may even cause the Bladed Slicers to work against Gigan instead (Assuming that the Ultra Willpower dosent make them explode in the first place)

Seven’s and probably Jack’s flight speed is more than twice as fast as Gigan’s and Megalon’s flight speed on Earth, and a battle in space would essentially be game over as Ultras’ flight speed in space is light speed.

The only 2 things I can see working for Megalon are that:

1. His punches can discharge electrical energy

2. His shell is as hard as diamond, which is 600x stronger than iron

But I haven’t even brought in the rest of the abilities of the Ultras like literally freezing them solid, paralysis ray, stop ray and whatnot.

Not to mention the fact that the amount of hax abilities that Ultras can use when there are more than 1 Ultra on the battlefield like the exponentially much powerful combo beams and attacks.

In addition, im mostly centering the argument around Ultraseven (1967) and Ultraman Jack (1971), current Seven and Jack would just take the W much, much faster.

So in conclusion, even if both kaiju were to double team either Seven or Jack, it would still be overkill.

Thanks for the question!

[johnnydora]

okay but,, let’s talk for a moment about jake and amy,, ive been thinkin bout this for yeARS but for some reason recently it just won’t leave my head and guys just,,, hear me out okay

i’m fascinated by their work dynamic like not their relationship i mean that def plays into it as well but literally HOW each of them work and how they fit so well together bc of it

we’ll start with amy, yeah? she’s a nerd without a doubt her father is a cop and she’s been living with cop stories for years probably grew up on shitty cop shows too and fell in love with it (a bit similar to jake right? besides the point but a fun fact to throw in) HERE’S THE THING my girl puts an emphasis on studying and hard work. she wants to be a cop? she gotta focus every little part of herself to getting there (also there’s her art degree which is so cool but unfortunately will not be talked about rn) so here’s the thing, aight? she is not a naturally gifted cop (see the latest ep where she mentions you can’t be good at puzzles. oc you can. some people see the world differently and can piece things together like that. but she makes up for all of that in HARD WORK AND FOCUS) and i could go on but this brings me to....

JAKE PERALTA offspring of a douchebag and an arT TEACHER we all know our girl karen she’s a mess but a girl has passion and little boy jakey here knows nothing about cops except buildings exploding!! chasing german bad guys!!! propelling from roofs!!!!!!! and that’s enough for him to follow his dreams. but here’s where he lucks out. this boy can solve a fucking puzzle. we don’t see it all too often in canon (i cant even think of any examples rn jus trust me) but he hella cares and jus,,, hella wants these cases solved. he doesnt work hard. he doesnt know what paperwork is. but he can,,, jus do it.

the thing about police work tho is u cant get there on luck OR hard work alone. and u can see that, even tho jake and amy approach their job comPLETELY differently, theyre very evenly matched (the bet, anyone?) which is why it’s pretty impossible to say which one is the best detective bc theyre,,, best together (was that sappy enough)

no but here’s where it gets fun, bc u can rly imagine the places this dynamic takes them.

like jake working late on a random case bc he can’t figure out the solution and it Bothers him especially if it was something a bit more high profile with a few more stakes bc my boy cares sm

not to say amy doesn’t care but she has a p professional line like when she’s not working she can let go (unless jake is the victim which is like evERY OTHER CASE NOW dont mind me) but she can go home and not worry about it theyll get him tomorrow its fine cases like these dont solve themselves overnight anyway they still have time

but then u can imagine jake getting so stressed over not knowing the answer to like,, idk say a home robbery and he let the little girl use his computer for a sec to play games something that gets a little personal yknow (also jake has such a weak spot for children dont get me started on this) and he can’t!! stop!! worrying!!

and amy, gods blessing to this earth, goes over the case with him at home bc she knows he’ll lose sleep over this and she offers angles that lil jakey never could think of bc he’s just so weirdly invested and she just keeps talking bc theyve gotten to the point where they know how they each function they know how to help each other out and eventually something she says will match up with something he was thinking except, like, from another angle and it!! MAKES SENSE!!!! and jake GETS it and tada!! all solved!! except jake, sweet child, wants to go to the precinct Immediately to solve it and amy has to be like babe its 11pm it can wait lets go to sleep

and just etc etc etc etc

of course it works the other way around as well. bc amy can bury herself in her work and forget to breathe sometimes. bc she needs to get thru all her paperwork and ALSO jakes to spellcheck it meanwhile going thru all the open cases and dealing with the weird shit that comes in and also sometimes (always) its hard to focus with jake just across from her so she kicks herself a little on particular days she just Cant and jake!!! knows he’ll talk about her cases with her just casually (she talks out loud when she’s solving cases its Cute) and oc his perspective is hilarious so he’ll come up with the most ridiculous scenarios and it just,,, calms her down,,, gets her to think outside the box a little

(oc sometimes he doesn’t catch it until she’s in a full blown panic attack and that’s a whole different thing it requires less talk about cases and more kisses)

anyway that’s all i love my dumb children and how much they love and support each other thanks for coming to my ted talk bye

[thesinglesjukebox]

LOONA - FAVORITE

[5.89]

Come back in a few months when every single TSJ writer will be writing on Loona's next single, because we're just working up to our real debut here too. Maybe.

Joshua Minsoo Kim: LOONA's pre-debut was so successful in establishing the identities, personalities, and sounds of each individual member (and consequent subunits) that it was hard to imagine what a collective debut single could've looked like. It turns out that Blockberry Creative's plan was to use the Odd Eye Circle strategy of providing two polar opposite singles in order to appease as many fans as possible. "Favorite" was the first glimpse of the 12-member group, and it's the "Sweet Crazy Love" of the pair. While I wasn't expecting there more personality than what was present in previous releases, the result is even worse than expected: a greyscale, ready-made composite. The Desiigner-like adlibs lack energy, the bridge doesn't provide a strong enough contrast to feel the least bit smooth, and the entire 2000s brass-stomp beat is sorely muted. While altogether seamless, it's hard to imagine "Favorite" being anyone's, well, favorite. One wishes the song capitalized on the strengths of its members more, but it doesn't really matter at this point: biases have been determined, and fans are just happy to see that everyone's got some lines. Even the title is stylized to announce that this is the OT12 they've been waiting for. A shame that this is the result. [3]

Iain Mew: It's funny that they stylised the title with OT capitalised, because surely if ever there was a group where the full group isn't the One True thing, it's Loona. The journey and all the different true forms along the way were at least as important as the destination, and that would be the case even if that destination wasn't a below par f(x) album track. [6]

Jessica Doyle: Twelve is a lot of performers, and I suspect that after a few establishing rounds Blockberry Creative will rely mostly on subunits and combinations thereof, a slightly more flexible version of EXO's strategy. That said, this does do its best to make a virtue of the clutter. (And "tie up my shoes and do it" will be my motto for fall semester.) [6]

Will Rivitz: All the parts of the Loona machine finally slam together with neutrino-bomb force, as expected. I just wish it didn't sound like they were trying so hard -- power is that much more impressive when wielded nonchalantly, and this is about as nonchalant as a high school pep rally. [6]

Anjy Ou: It's a strange sensation hearing a style of music that I only ever hear on the streets of DC in my K-pop. But as the genre expands globally, companies are casting a wide net to find new sounds for their artists. I particularly love it when go-go music shows up because it's (a) perfect for dancing (b) a specific touchpoint to a city I love -- despite gentrifiers trying desparately to just make it all go away. LOONA kills it on this track, which I've loved since they danced to a demo version at their debut showcase. The horns, the call-and-response, the percussion, and the fact that the song is just a dance jam, are all quintessential go-go, with a cute contemporary switch-up on the second chorus to let you catch your breath. I have a feeling the "rrrrrrrah!" will be controversial, but I love it. It's almost an ululation, an expression of pure joy that fits the song's "letting my hair down, ecstatically in love" vibe. The only downside to having all 12 girls singing is that we can't appreciate the depth of the group's vocal talent -- Haseul only gets 2(!) solo lines. But my fave Jinsoul gives me AD-LIBS -- which are surprisingly rare in girl group songs these days -- and the sub-units will continue to promote. LOONA is here to stay and to slay. #StanLOONA #StreamHiHigh [8]

Thomas Inskeep: Clattering and chaotic like the best TRL-era hits by Britney-and-the-rest, "Favorite" beats you into submission like a much louder version of Dream's forgotten 2001 hit "He Loves U Not." To paraphrase "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," you're gonna love them -- even if it kills you. But you'll die smiling. [7]

Katherine St Asaph: If you're going to pour years into some kind of labyrinthine ARG rollout, I expect the result to be something other than a pretty good Jessie Malakouti song. [5]

Edward Okulicz: Suspending one's disbelief is sometimes fun and sometimes necessary when approaching the absurd in pop. And yes, I'm willing to suspend it and go, yes, these girls are having a great time and are not overworked cogs in a terrifying machine. I'm willing to go along with pretending this is a debut single just because it's the first with the full line-up. But I'm not willing to swoon over a track that would have sounded warm at best 15 years ago (though really, this style was perfected by Amerie and there's no possibility to match that) and really wants for a strong voice, or a strong personality to sell it to me rather than just being an Event to consume for the sake of consuming a band. [5]

Alex Clifton: Part of the appeal of Loona has, of course, been the extended rollout of the member lineup. I've followed it half-heartedly, and I know the thrill of finally seeing these twelve girls together packs more of an emotional punch for those who have been longtime fans of the project. It's difficult to pick out who's who as a casual listener, and I'm a little in awe of how they've managed to pack twelve people in for one song. It's bonkers and sweet at the same time, but lacks some of the bubblegum rush that propelled last year's "Girl Front" to the top of my workout playlist. But it's a great debut for the group at large, and I remain curious to see what comes next. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[faqblog89]

Airships: Conquer The Skies For Mac

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Airships Conquer The Skies Manual

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Dragons are large fire-breathing reptiles that use Suspendium to help them fly.1 Dragons can be encountered in the game. It is possible to tame dragons that have appeared and use them in one's army, or to fight the dragons and loot their nest. Dragons attack by shooting streams of flame, similar to a flamethrower, at enemy constructions. The juvenile form of a dragon is called a wurm, and has.

Heart&Slash is a 3D brawler that is set in a world where machines are all that remains from the Human civilization. You play as Heart, an innocent robot fighting to escape the grip of the evil and all seeing machine QuAsSy (Quality Assurance Systems). But make no mistake Heart&Slash is a hard game. HEART&SLASH; is a fast paced brawler with roguelike elements, inspired in equal parts by Bayonetta, Megaman and ADOM. It is also a throwback to our earlier years as gamers, when playing games was all joy. Started as a personal part-time project (you can follow the development process here), Heart&Slash; has grown into something bigger than initially intended. Heart&slash download for mac.

Airships: Conquer the Skies - In Airships: Conquer the Skies you'll need to use all of your creativity and skill to design and build fearsome airships and land vehicles to give you the edge in massive aerial battles.Construct your vehicles by piecing together a vast array of modules, choosing weapons, armour types, structures, equipment and resources in near endless configurations to allow you.

Setup airships conquer the skies 1 0 18 5 (42567) Size:205.89 MBTitle: Airships: Conquer the Skies - SoundtrackDate:17 Aug, 2018Developer:David StarkPublisher: David StarkGenre::Action, Indie, StrategyAbout This Game:The soundtrack for Airships: Conquer the Skies, created by Curtis Schweit.

Airships: Conquer the Skies game details

Demonstrate your battle prowess as the ultimate sky-commander in this multiplayer steampunk pixel air shooter. Tanki online – steam pack crack. Give intensive commands in this FTL-esk management simulator as you command an ever-growing ship into the finest vessel in the sky. Challenge your friends and defeat your foes in this ever challenging test of wit, strategy, and battle-prowess. Will you Conquer the Skies?

A powerful and inspirational story about family, friends, and the challenges we face. Martin Sheen plays Tom, an irascible American doctor who comes to France to collect the remains of his adult son (played by Emilio Estevez), killed in the Pyrenees while walking The Camino de Santiago, also known as The Way. Start quickly with the most recent versions of Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, OneNote and OneDrive —combining the familiarity of Office and the unique Mac features you love. Work online or offline, on your own or with others in real time—whatever works for what you’re doing. The way download for mac.

Here are the Airships: Conquer the Skies System Requirements (Minimum)

CPU: Info

CPU SPEED: 1.8 Ghz+

RAM: 256 MB

OS: Windows 7 or later

VIDEO CARD: 128 MB VRAM+ w/OpenGL

PIXEL SHADER: 2.0

VERTEX SHADER: 2.0

FREE DISK SPACE: 1 GB

DEDICATED VIDEO RAM: 128 MB

Airships: Conquer the Skies Recommended Requirements

CPU: Info

CPU SPEED: 2.2 Ghz+ Dual-core

RAM: 2 GB

OS: Windows 7 or later

VIDEO CARD: 1 GB VRAM+ w/OpenGL

PIXEL SHADER: 4.0

VERTEX SHADER: 4.0

FREE DISK SPACE: 1 GB

DEDICATED VIDEO RAM: 1 GB

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Aug 22, 2018

This guide is intended to be used as an additional tutorial/refrence manual for a vanilla, non-modded, Airships: Conquer the Skies. It will include some of the less obvious features of ship design within it as well.

What Is Required to Make a Valid Airship?

Almost nothing is absolutely required to make a functional airship in this game. Ships without weapons can actually sometimes be viable, but we won't be covering specifics yet. All you need to make an airship is a form of lift, and a way to move about. You don't need to go high or particurlarly fast, but being able to do both is very helpful. This for example, is an incredibly cheap, and supprisingly decent medium level bomber, and it's only got two berths, for 6 sailors, a small propeller, and a tiny suspendium chamber. I could reduce the crew requirement even further by removing ths suspendium chamber and sticking a suspendium tank on instead, but the AI seems to be drawn towards shooting those, and suspendium explodes, so I didn't in this particular case. Of course going bigger leads to a tougher, and more durable ship, but cheap spammable ships are a very valid tactic to go with, until your enemy start to counter your designs. The example above, for example will pretty much die immediately if shot at with a few rifles, or explosives. Larger designs with redundancies are less vulnerable to being knocked out immediately.

Overlays

Overlays are a key tool to be using when designing an airship, landship, or building. They will show you where key weaknesses in your design are, and give hints on where you can improve on the designs. By default, the U key will bring them up as a shortcut key. Alternatively you can also click the button at the top of the screen to bring it up.

Overlay #1 - Pathing

Most modules have different components that take up a large area of the ship, wether it be suspendium chambers, engines, or just a whole bunch of bunks, your ship needs to be moved around in. All guns start with one clip of ammo loaded at the start of the fight for example, but poor pathing choices means that you aren't going to be able to reload those guns in a reasonable period of time. This ship for example is divided by the suspendium chamber. If that's inaccessable for any reason, the rest of the ship would be cut off crom the coal store. Fortunately the design only requires coal at the rear section however to power the engine, and said blocking suspendium chamber.

Overlay #2 - HP

This is a rather important overlay to look at occasionally. All components in a ship have a HP value that starts getting eaten away if the armor is broken through. This overlay is showing the HP pool of the modules behind the armor itself. Adding armor won't actually increase this HP pool of the component, but surrounding the component with other pieces will make them tougher to finally kill. Certain decorations can also add additional HP to any adjacent modules they touch as well as evenly distribute extra HP to the rest of the ship, so even decorative figureheads can become integral in making a survivable ship design, as you can see with the dragon figureheads over the cannons.

Overlay #3 - Water

All weapons carry a chance to set something it hits on fire, though explosives cary a higher chance, and flamethrowers have a significant ignition chance. Modules themselves can also catch fire if hit while their HP is low. Should you decide to add water to your ship, this overlay will show how long it takes your crew to get the water from the fire point to the fire itself. Generally sticking to under 4 seconds is safe for particularly flammable components, notably coal. Ammo, and other explodey weapons should have shorter times if possible.

Overlay #4 - Repair Tools

Tools are optional, but good to have around if you want your ship to keep fighting. This overlay will show how long it takes to bring tools from the repair bay or machine shop to it's needed location. You can't repair armor with tools, but you can repair internal structure.

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I'm unable to confirm this for sure, but a damaged weapon can potentially explode if it was previously damaged, while firing, leading to an explosion. Repair tools help to reduce that chance.

Overlay #5 - Ammo

A fairly simple overlay. This shows how much time, in seconds it takes for ammo to reach its destination. If you can keep this metric under a second, you will have uninterrupted fire of the weapon meeting the time criteria.

Overlay #6 - Coal

Same as the above, but for coal and things which need to eat it to run. How much time it takes for coal to get to, commonly, suspendium chambers or engines of a variety of description, as well as a few specialty components. You want this as low as possible. You can get away with half the required time for the component to be reloaded, though that's incredibly dangerous in an actual combat situation. Not having coal usually means the ship will fall from the sky, or lose control of the engines.

Overlay #7 - Explosion Damage

Basically everything on an airship can explode. This overlay shows the intensity of any potential explosions, wether they be ammo explosions, suspendium explosions or potentially even rifle explosions. Try to keep key components out of the radius of the red tiles if you value them surviving a major explosion. This is especially true of ammo though, which likes to go off harmoniously if placed directly next to each other. This ship for example will almost end up being bisected if the ammunition cooks off.A good ship design, unless the vessel is designed to be disposable will try to ensure that an ammo explosion can still enable crew to move about the ship, as well as ensuring the ship can still move after the fact.

Armor Types: When to Use Which, and How to Unlock Special Armors

Wood Wall

Why use it? It's FREE, it's light, and that's about it. There's not much going for it, except the fact that it's the second lightest armor in the game. Why not use it? Unless you have a very specific idea which requires the lightest possible mass and lowest cost, it's a terrible idea to use this armor. Everything can go through it, even rifles. That tends to mean lots of ammo explosions. It's also completely useless against explosives, which will shred off almost all of this plate.

Wood Armor

Why use it? A decent HP pool to add on top of your modules, as well as a fairly decent pierce absorption make this quite an acceptable armor against lower caliber weapons, such as rifles. It can withstand a singular shot from a deck gun as well, which is quite good for the price. Why not use it? It's got some pretty poor blast damage absorption compared to steel wall armor, and as a result tends to be weak to explosive weaponry.

Reinforced Wooden Armor

Why use it? 'Barrel armor' has rather high HP at 65 per block of armor, and has some decent damage resistances against piercing and blast, triple that of regular wooden armor. It's also cheaper than actual steel armor. Why not use it? It is HEAVY, and costs a fair amount. It will slow down a ship mounting it exclusively, and it will significantly drop the service ceiling, almost as bad as using brick armor.

Steel Wall

Why use it? It's the same price of wooden armor, and it has a higher resistance against explosions, while also keeping the pierce resistance. It's also lighter than wooden armor. It's also almost capable of ignoring flak guns. Why not use it? Wooden armor can resist a deck gun shot, this armor can't. As a result, wood holds out slightly longer against larger guns.

Steel Armor

Why use it? It's got noticeable blast and piercing resistance, capable of ignoring rifle fire, as well as flak. It's got higher HP, and is overall very good armor. Why not use it? Weight, mostly. Cost may also be a factor.

Heavy Steel Armor

Why use it? It's twice as good as regular steel armor in every metric, and can ignore a large majority of weapons, including some powerful explosive weapons like grenades, but not bombs. Why not use it? It's very heavy, and very expensive to field.

Brick Wall

Why use it? It's cheap, and it's got a lot of HP, at 45. Why not use it? It's extremely heavy, as it's intended for buildings, and it has no damage absorption features. Enough rifle fire can easily get through it if they all hit the same spot.

Stone Wall

Why use it? It's rather cheap for armor, a lot of HP, great for buildings. Some resistances, but not much. Why not use it? There's no reason to not use it on a building. Using it on a ship will basically prevent it from moving however due to the sheer mass.

Massive Stone Wall

Why use it? Take regular stone wall and add half of all the stats, and double the blast resistance.

Why not use it? It's MASSIVE. I don't think it's possible to make a ship armored completely in this type of armor.

DragonHide

This requires clearing an Elder Dragon nest in order to be used by your Empire in Conquest. Why use it? It has NO weight, it's got a HP pool comparable to barrel armor, and it's nearly got the blast and pierce resist of steel armor. Why not use it? Killing an Elder Dragon nest is very hard to do without specialized ships. It's also very expensive to field.

Shell Armor

This armor requires clearing a Turtledove nest to be used by your Empire in Conquest. Why use it? HP of steel armor, a bit of pierce and blast resistance, and the kicker here is, the armor generates it's own lift. Enough to get most small ships off the ground on their own without added suspendium. Why not use it? It's a bit expensive, on par with steel armor, but doesn't net you the damage resistances that steel provides.

Boarding, Your Crew, and Other Thoughts on the Matter

Boarding ships is a thing in this game, and without proper planning, chances are that you're going to lose your ship unless you plan ahead to deal with boarders.

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What is the goal of a boarding team? Their primary goal is to reach the bridge and take it out, if they successfully manage to do that, they will offically capture the ship (note that this does not apply to mech spiders, or any monsters, who just want to kill the crew). Unfortunately, there is no hard counter against being boarded, but there are plenty of soft counters you can add onto your ship to make boarding a nightmare.

Countering Boarding

Guards are almost overpowered, a single guard barrack can usually withstand an assault from most types of humanoid boarder.

Speed counters most boarders, except Air Dragoons (though that depends on the command cooldown). If you dodge your ship out of the way of boarders, they can, and often will plumet to the ground after missing their jump. This does require a bit of micro however.

Small arms are very potent counters to boarders, most weapons can directly target troops approaching the ship, as well as any additional small aircraft being deployed. Rifles, gatling guns, flamers, and even grapeshot guns are good counters to boarding.

Excess crew can defend the ship. Sailors aren't very good at defending a ship as they only have pistols instead of rifles, and presumably less training, but they can defend a ship on their own in a pinch if they aren't already busy with another task.

The sickbay works for your etire crew, sailors and guards. If you lose a guard, chances are that you might be able to get them back if they can get to the sickbay.

Buildings are crewed by soilders, not sailors, as a result they are slightly more resistant to being boarded than ships.

Place supply doors in akward positions for your crew and any possible boarders. Ideally, if you have guards, you want to force the enemy to run into them. If not, you want them kept as far as possible away from the bridge to buy as much time as possible for the crew to possibly defend the ship.

Boarding the Enemy

There is a small variety of boarding troops, each of which best on certian ship designs.

Marines need to actually directly jump aboard a targeted ship to get on board it. They are also extremely susceptable to dying due to missing their jump against a moving vessel. You do get 8 per barrack however, and they are decent boarders and ship defenders.

Grenadiers are fewer per barrack, but it appears they are a bit more effective at taking out defenders than marines. They also have the benefit of having grapples, so they usually won't die if they miss their jump. They can, and often will try to swing ship to ship to reach their target.

Air Dragoons are somewhat special, as they can be deployed anywhere and board almost anything since they use jetpacks. They are about as effective as the grenadiers, but they are also extremely squishy outside of an airship as they are extremely slow. They are great counters to bombers not mounting rifles or other forms of small arms.

Mech spiders are mean. Their sole purpose to board the target ship and shred any crew within them. You can't capture with them, but they are extremely tanky boarders, and they have the same, if not more mobility with grapples as dragoons.

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[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 20/02/2021 (Lil Tjay & 6LACK, Taylor Swift, slowthai)

Okay, so we’ve got a busy week ahead of us, actually a pretty massive one to deep-dive through – and it’s immediately obvious from the second song on the chart, but for now, “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo hangs on for what I believe is its sixth week at #1, and we’ve got a lot to cover.

Rundown

First of all, why’s this a big week? Well, there is an album bomb – or at least all that the UK Singles Chart allows for album bombs – and everything that could have debuted... debuted high. So in the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, we’ve got an awful lot to discuss. First of all, our drop-outs, other than debuts from last week, include “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur, “Golden” by Harry Styles, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI, “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish, “All Girls are the Same” by the late Juice WRLD, “All I Want” by Olivia Rodrigo and fittingly, “Skin” by Sabrina Carpenter. We also have  a fair few losers, like “Bringing it Back” by Digga D and AJ Tracey down to #16 off of the top 5 debut and all of Fredo’s tracks skidding down off of the album bomb two weeks ago, like “Money Talks” with Dave at #19, “Ready” featuring Summer Walker at #37 and “Burner on Deck” with Young Adz and the late Pop Smoke at #51. We also have “34+35” by Ariana Grande not getting a remix boost at #30 (though it can get the album boost next week), “Love Not War (The Tampa Beat)” by Jason Derulo and Nuka collapsing at #39, “Regardless” by RAYE and Rudimental at #48, “willow” by Taylor Swift at #49, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #50, “positions” by Ariana Grande at #52, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #55, “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #56, “Be the One” by Rudimental featuring MORGAN, Digga D and TIKE at #58, “Martin & Gina” by Polo G at #59 (I’m surprised we didn’t get “GNF (OKOKOK)” debut, by the way), “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #61, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles at #62, “Loading” by Central Cee collapsing at #63, “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix doing the same at #65 (probably both victims of streaming cuts), “Apricots” by Bicep at #68, “Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals at #69, “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #70 and “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio at #73. What may be more interesting than our notable fallers are our notable gains and returning entries, however, as whilst only “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper returned to #64, we also have some inexplicable or just plain bad gains. “Roses” by SAINt JHN and remixed by Imanbek seemingly has a second wind at #67, along with “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran at #57 and “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #42, but our other gains are mostly recent debuts, like “Little Bit of Love” by Tom Grennan at #45, “Astronaut in the Ocean” by Maxed Wolf at #44, “Believe Me” by Navos at #43, “Arcade” by Duncan Laurence at #33 and finally, “Friday”, Riton’s ugly Nightcrawlers remix featuring Musafa & Hypeman dopamine re-editing itself into the top 10 at #10, becoming everyone’s first in that category, except the Nightcrawlers themselves getting their first top 10 since 1995, even if it’s just “Push the Feeling On” getting into the top 10 a second, separate time 26 years later... and it’s scary to think 1995 is indeed 26 years ago. Anyway, let’s start to make sense of these new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#72 – “MAZZA” – slowthai featuring A$AP Rocky

Produced by SAMO, slowthai and Kwes Darko

Now, the charts may be chaotic because of the general weakness of it all but it also allows for artists you wouldn’t really expect to do that well get #1 albums, and slowthai’s riding the waves of controversy, his well-received debut album and, you know, a genuinely very good quality of work, as his sophomore effort, TYRON, debuts at #1 on the UK Albums Chart, and we’ve got three songs from Ty on this singles chart, which is the highest amount the chart actually allows, meaning this is an album bomb. Yeah, an album bomb from slowthai – that’s the one thing you can guarantee ONLY ever happens on the UK charts... well, okay, there are many things, but we’ll get to those later. I’m surprised “MAZZA” didn’t debut higher given the music video, big-name feature, being one of the catchiest on the record and the fact that it’s getting radio play, but it’s still here, so who’s to complain? This track, from the emptier A-side of “bangers” in the first half of the album, relies on a quirky synth loop and a bouncy trap beat for slowthai and Rocky to individually prove themselves on and, yeah, the song is pretty great, with a really infectious hook and mostly really smooth flows, propelled by the charisma that just so easily spreads out of every word Ty raps. The title itself is slang that basically something is “mad” – that in, crazy and fun – and that is fitting for the song, which seems to be at a disconnect between the content, beat and feature. Ty flip-flops between flexing, depression and drug addiction, whilst A$AP Rocky just delivers some flexing... but when it’s one of Rocky’s best verses in years, I’m just glad to have him spitting here finally. This is far from the most interesting track on the record but it’s definitely an empty banger cruising on energy more than anything, which is good because it has that in spades. I’d like to point out though that much like the rest of the first half of this album, it is derivative: this is a beat you could see either Rocky or Playboi Carti on, and Ty seems to be doing mostly Rocky-esque flows with a definite attempt at doing the same ad-lib-focal song structure as Carti would. This is unfortunate by now but I can see him growing out of his influence as time comes, although it is a concern when it’s clearer on your bangers than it is your retrospective tunes, which are also pretty clearly Kanye- and BROCKHAMPTON-inspired. Speaking of...

#72 – “terms” – slowthai featuring Dominic Fike and Denzel Curry

Produced by Mount Kimbie, JD. Reid and Kenny Beats

It’s crazy to see production credits from Mount Kimbie and Kenny Beats on the UK Singles Chart... but with that said, you’d expect that to end up as one of the best songs on the chart, especially with this trio of artists. Sadly, the tracks that debuted this week are not close to my favourites off of the project, but if songs like “45 SMOKE”, “push”, “nhs”, “focus”, “PLAY WITH FIRE” and my personal favourite, “i tried”, aren’t going to chart, then I guess we can deal with this to show the more introspective side of the record and slowthai as a whole... except this song is exceptionally shallow in that lane, discussing the downsides of fame in a way that feels tired and done before, even on the same album – and we’ll get to that in a bit. Dominic Fike discusses his words being “jumbled” when in reality I don’t think anything Ty has said has been confused or taken out of context. It doesn’t help that this beat has a drowned-out guitar sample that just sounds ugly below a dark, menacing 808 and trap percussion that take Dominic Fike out of his element so much that he just sounds awful on the hook. Slowthai may have a faster flow here but he’s remarkably unfocused content-wise, and Denzel Curry doesn’t deliver more than a badly-mixed Memphis rap interlude that you can barely tell is him. This is far from bad, I do like the subtle vocal samples in the chorus and slowthai’s second verse about his daily schedule is genuinely really great, but it feels like wasted potential. Fun fact: This is actually Denzel’s first ever song to chart in the UK... if you can even call it his song. We’ll see Ty more later as we get higher on the chart.

#60 – “Cover Me in Sunshine” – P!nk and Willow Sage Heart

Produced by the Struts

Okay, so this is a song by P!nk with her young child daughter... Hmm, okay, so this is a ballad relying on acoustic guitar picking and some really ugly echoed percussion as well as two voices that go from meshing not at all to meshing too well together for voices 30 years apart. I’d like to end it here because this song really isn’t interesting past the novelty factor and some strange mixing in the first verse especially but as a bland uplifting “Fight Song”-type song, I guess it works though I don’t know about you but if I were going through a global pandemic right now with no real source of income, no end in sight and constant governmental error that’s killing thousands of people nationwide, I wouldn’t want a child who was born into millionaires telling me that it’s all going to be okay... oh, yeah, we are in that situation and I don’t want to hear this at any point, especially because this is generic and frankly, not worth anyone’s time.

#54 – “Mixed Emotions” – Abra Cadabra

Produced by TR the Producer

Okay, so when I said this would be a big week I did not mean or expect that it would be a good week, as we can tell already, but Abra Cadabra is here with a “thugs-need-love-too” track to drive that point home. Apparently a snippet of this went viral before its official release in a Valentine’s Day EP I didn’t know existed, which I honestly don’t get because there’s nothing stand-out about this song, like, at all. It’s got a guitar-based trap beat as Abra Cadabra croons in his admittedly pretty interesting, rich voice but he’s not saying anything interesting and this beat is just incompetent, with those badly-mixed swooshing sound effects that come in way too many times, and the fact that half the song is lacking percussion for no reason other than to make the beat sound busier than it is, even when it already has that ugly acoustic guitar lick playing through the whole thing in the front of the mix and... yeah, what’s the point in really critiquing this? Abra can’t even really hold much of a flow, especially in the meandering second verse, so not much of value is lost when this inevitably drops out next week.

#53 – “Big” – Rita Ora, Imanbek and David Guetta featuring Gunna

Produced by Mike Hawkins, Toby Green, Spenser, Sam Martin, David Guetta and Imanbek

This is the lead single – if you can call it that – from a trainwreck of a collaborative EP by COVID-19 super-spreader Rita Ora and everyone’s favourite Kazakh DJ, Imanbek, who seems to be chasing hits here with no real gain. You can already tell this is going to be hilariously bad, right? There are four primary artists seemingly picked out of a hat who had never collaborated prior to this EP, with two vocalists that would not mesh at all, and two producers... as well as four others to engineer this mix out so that the actual DJs and producers here become pretty much in name only. So, this is an already pointless song in all capacities, but then we find out that Ed Sheeran had a hand in writing this... this is just prepped for disaster. Fittingly, the song’s bad in a hilariously boring way. It starts with a bassy synth lead and some generic house production before Rita Ora comes in with a really unconvincing delivery that does not help to propel some genuinely bad singing in the pre-chorus and awkward songwriting. “Blame it on the city how I’m ballin’”? “Big tanks looking like Transformers”? It’s even funnier when you note that that line is where the beat cuts out (kind of) and it doesn’t rhyme with the rest of the verse at all. There’s some really bad vocal processing that makes Rita Ora sound overly digitised, much like a lot of Imanbek’s production, but also emphasises her in the mix along with the vocal mixing being generally overly loud compared to the rest of the production, which doesn’t really have a proper drop so it just goes nowhere other than a brief drum fill that comes out of nowhere and serves no real purpose. Rita Ora delivers rap clichés or at least lines I’ve heard before in the most generic possible way in the second verse, with as much charisma as Gunna’s literally phoned-in verse, mixed awfully, where the beat doesn’t even dignify his existence by just staying on the build-up and not even properly giving him the trap breakdown that it’s clearly going for. There’s this one stray kick or 808 note in that verse that goes nowhere. It’s honestly hilarious how dreadful this song is, lacking any groove or punch that it would need to become even a guilty pleasure... if you still use that term, anyway. Just fascinating. Anyway, let’s get to the top 40.

#39 – “CANCELLED” – slowthai featuring Skepta

Produced by SAMO, Kelvin Krash and Kwes Darko

Yeah, okay, so this song isn’t great either. Although I’m glad slowthai is in the top 40, it won’t be for long and it’s not because of Ty. It’s because this is a Skepta song through and through. He does the hook, has a verse and a presence on the intro and post-chorus. It’s probably good that it is as well because Skepta does the best he can with his menacing delivery over a pretty weak flute-trap beat that sounds as sleepy as Skepta’s flow on the chorus, which is even more awkward when it takes a left turn for an unnecessary post-chorus. Ty brings energy here and some pretty funny lines but is overall a non-presence on his own song, being over-shadowed by the bass knock and interrupted by Skepta’s hook at the end of his verse. Skepta brings a better verse, with some genuinely really fun flow switches but nothing content wise to make this song that’s already barely two minutes feel like it adds anything to... well, anything. The song itself is trying to prove a heavy-handed yet misguided point about cancel culture, which I don’t think even exists, and how it “kills art” when in reality anything further than stans or trolls on Twitter is probably deserved. When a book shop stops selling J.K. Rowling books, it’s not because they’re silencing or censoring art as much as they are not giving profits to a terrible person with too much time and money on their hands. Thankfully, neither of these guys are terrible people but what backlash they have had has been either from a deserved place or not from the left. There was an incident at an awards show with Katherine Ryan that didn’t get him cancelled but got Ty some brief backlash. Everybody swiftly moved on, and nothing changed except I think he delivered some kind of apology, not that I would remember because this song retcons whatever regret he has for it. He also got some backlash from the British news media – see: the right-wing – from displaying a severed head of Boris Johnson on stage, but again, if backlash “killed art”, you wouldn’t have a #1 album. As much as it wants to be a middle-finger to cancel culture, it ends up as a worthless flex track from rappers who’ve done much better. It’s not bad at all – and I’m glad the guy’s having success (I mean, after all, the album is overall good and he’s a fellow Northamptonshire resident). I just don’t think this song really works at all for what it’s trying to do.

#35 – “Siberia” – Headie One featuring Burna Boy

Produced by TheElements and AoD

This is an awfully rap-centric episode, huh? Well, this is from the deluxe edition of Headie’s album Edna, because that trend’s not going away any time soon... and I think Abra Cadabra could learn from this because this is how you do a low-key guitar trap single, with those watery, almost Blink-182-esque acoustic loops under a somewhat off-kilter trap beat as Headie mumbles in his smoother voice and faster, fun flows that do remind me too much of Gunna but overall sound pretty great. The cadences, especially in the chorus, are pretty infectious, and honestly the song could just use with some refinement in the mixing category and with Burna Boy’s verse, as whilst the singer definitely delivers the energy here, his voice is particularly muddy in this mix and his flow is more janky. With some multi-tracking or backing ad-libs, this could have definitely sounded better. The strings and electric guitar that come in at the final chorus were a welcome surprise though, and Burna Boy’s soulful delivery on the final outro verse sounds better than his actual verse, so I don’t really know what went wrong here. The content isn’t all too interesting, but I’m a sucker for geography references so the hook would have always made me chuckle and that’s before the shallow but deserved political commentary in Headie’s verse as well as Burna Boy making... perhaps insensitive references to infections in his more Young Thug-like inflections that do sound fun and more out-there as a contrast to Headie keeping it a bit tighter. Yeah, this isn’t perfect but it’s a pretty good trap banger so check it out.

#27 – “UK Hun?” – United Kingdolls

Produced by Freddy Scott and Leland

And now in stark contrast, drag queens. I don’t follow RuPaul’s Drag Race at all but I very much understand its appeal, especially now that it’s come to the UK on BBC Three, with I believe Graham Norton at the helm. This is a song from its second season that apparently takes homage from Eurovision for a song which has a title that is literally a pun. “You okay, hun?” but because it’s Britain, it’s UK. Very, very clever. At least it’s up-front right out of the gate so you can expect what will end up as pretty dumb fun... and this is immediately obvious from the intro which introduces you to the chorus: “bing, bang, bong, sing, sang, song, ding, dang, dong, UK, hun”. Okay, so this wasn’t ever going to be a prowess in songwriting, although you’d think there’d be something more here given MNEK’s involvement. Each contestant in the race gets a rap verse here over a pretty rote late 2000s dance-pop beat, with varying levels of charisma but ultimately a lot of energy from people who pretty clearly can’t sing, not that it matters when there’s the Auto-Tune slathered on top of the pre-chorus and chorus. I do feel like I’m separated from the show enough to be completely mystified by this, but really, the song’s not bad, and I can dig the upbeat synths in the chorus, even if the childlike novelty of it makes it a lot less enjoyable to me, personally. At the end of the day, it’s a sugary pop song about confidence with a pretty great fourth verse about loving yourself for who you are, so I can’t hate that. Also “gender-bender, cis-tem offender” is kind of a bar.

#25 – “We’re Good” – Dua Lipa

Produced by Scott Harris, Emily Warren and SLY

Future Nostalgia is a great album, and like all great albums, it needs a mediocre deluxe edition with snippets of leftover, unfinished tracks and remixes... no, wait, no album ever needs that. Sadly, life doesn’t go my way all of the time, so Dua released a “Moonlight Edition”, the fifth version of the album to be released as far as I know, and other than a hilarious JID collaboration in the form of “Not My Problem”, it’s not worth listening to past the first 11 tracks that were already on the standard edition. This track is the worst of them all, stripping away any of the disco groove and grandiose strings that defined the vibe of the album for a really bland, vaguely tropical trap-pop tune. The only remnant of the disco theme is the chorus referencing cocaine, which seems bizarrely out of character if anything, although it doesn’t help that Dua sounds checked-out, especially on the verses but also on the chorus which definitely takes some inspiration from emo-pop in those guitar tones but not in those awkward, first-take vocal deliveries that make the chorus flow pretty awfully. This songwriting is consistently janky too, with the overly short bridge serving no real purpose and the song itself feeling like an under-written, over-produced waste of everyone’s time. I’m surprised Dua couldn’t debut higher than #25, but at the same time I understand why people aren’t enjoying this as much as the prior singles, because this is bad.

#23 – “Commitment Issues” – Central Cee

Produced by mokuba

This guy is just releasing a bunch of singles and squandering any potential I saw in him, huh? Well, okay, this is from an upcoming album but that doesn’t make its acoustic guitar loops any more interesting or the content any more dissonant from its hard-hitting UK drill beat and his aggressive delivery. Like, there’s nothing about his flow or the instrumental that makes sense for a song where he’s apologising to his ex and trying to convince her to come back to him... at all. I’d get annoyed by a song that’s not cohesive in its content, but this one is annoyingly so, with the content never giving a reason for the dark, menacing 808 slides other than the... arguments with the woman he describes in the hook? It does kind of work with the flow there, but, like... why? Why does this exist? This isn’t convincing, it can’t be a banger because of its overly-specific break-up themes and it’s just a mess of a song, not helped by the fact he goes off trailing in the second verse about how many “hoes” he has, which is honestly kind of funny given in the first verse, he acknowledges that his ex hates those types of lyrics. Man, Central Cee was onto something with the jazz-drill on “Loading”, where did any of that go?

#12 – “Love Story (Taylor’s Version)” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Christopher Rowe

The original “Love Story” is one of my favourite Taylor Swift songs. There’s something so sweet and Mew Mew Power about it. I don’t know if that’ll work as an adjective for anyone else but what I’m saying is it really emphasises the inner “white teenage girl in the 2000s” that many have hidden in them, with its cute banjo intro and honestly kind of funny misinterpretation of the original Romeo & Juliet text, none of which has been fixed in this new version. Out of the stuff I’ve heard from the country-pop era of Taylor’s work, it’s definitely one of the catchiest, most melodramatic choruses, probably second to my favourite from this era, “Mine”. Well, this new version has to be made so that Taylor Swift can own the rights again to her music that Scooter Braun sold after she left the Big Machine label. Honestly, I think I prefer a younger Taylor Swift in the context of such a cutesy, pretty song with all its childlike novelties – I mean, a 30-year-old Taylor Swift won’t misremember details from Shakespearean texts. Not to say that she sounds bad here because she sounds great, especially over the more refined, modern production and the incredible strings in the chorus that are emphasised in this mix. I can’t say that much of a cover that takes the original and does exactly the same thing with it, just with a more modern instrumental that honestly has a pretty epic instrumental bridge. Ultimately, this is taking a great song and making it sound better and more accessible for an audience a decade or so detached from the original “Love Story” and it sounds pretty great doing it.

#2 – “Calling My Phone” – Lil Tjay and 6LACK

Produced by Non Native, Bordeaux and G. Ry

This chart week ended up being less of a beast to tackle than I thought it was, mostly because there are a couple good fun songs sprinkled in the range of mediocrity here. Now this is the final song to discuss and... this is just as inexplicable as “drivers license”. If it weren’t for the streaming numbers, I’d be convinced this is an error and this should have been switched with the second-highest debut, as it makes no sense for Lil Tjay and 6LACK to debut at the #2 spot in the UK. For context, Lil Tjay is an Auto-Tune crooner from the Bronx, in a similar vein to a Lil Tecca or A Boogie wit da Hoodie, who I thought would completely disappear post-“Pop Out” given he seemed to be on the Lil Tecca route as most of his other singles just couldn’t stick the landing other than I guess “F.N.”. Admittedly, that might be because they were pretty bad, and I think he actually kind of ruined “Pop Out” by killing its momentum with his non-existent presence and gross Auto-Tune whine, but he seems to have gotten a lot of traction since then from a posthumous Pop Smoke record as he wastes time on “Mood Swings”, which became a pretty massive hit for Tjay and the late Pop Smoke, with a lot more longevity than I expected, even though it was my personal least favourite on that posthumous album. 6LACK is more for the alternative and hip-hop head crowd, known less for his street bangers than he is for his smooth alternative R&B collaborations with guys like J. Cole. He has mainstream attention and has tried to cross over before, but ultimately he’s probably better guest-starring on robotic Gorillaz singles with Elton John of all people... or at least that’s what I thought, because they seem to have just released a single with no real promo other than TikTok previews and a music video, and it blew up immensely almost immediately. Maybe it’s good timing given Valentine’s Day but this seems like a combination of weak charts and a genuinely organic sudden hit, pushed by a label of course but not without word of mouth and... I don’t know, I’m kind of clueless on why this is so big here, and seemingly everywhere, but I’m not complaining. Wait, no, I am complaining because I’m not a fan at all. I can go for smoother, more soulful R&B but something about this is way too jagged for it to work for me, with Tjay delivering some pretty bored, mumbled crooning over melancholy pianos and an infectious but off-beat chipmunk vocal sample that acts a refrain because nothing Lil Tjay does is catchy enough. His verse is really sloppy, as is the piano, and the percussion is kind of just gross in how it’s mixed. Thankfully, 6LACK is here for some brief relief on the second verse, as he actually has a presence with his cruising, subtle multi-tracked delivery that sounds genuinely pretty great and would be at better use with bass that isn’t mastered like this and maybe an actual chorus. In fact, I think this would work as a UK garage song with that vocal sample if you speed up the whole track and add some actual groove to it, so someone please get on that because otherwise I don’t see any reason why this is so high. It’s just lethargic R&B, really just basic and tired.

Conclusion

Yeah, this was a big week but sadly I think it is shrouded in a lot of mediocrity that I think will be gone by next week, so whilst the UK chart chaos can be fun, especially when I’ve got nothing else to do, I’m not sure if any of these songs really stick. Best of the Week goes to Taylor Swift’s re-recorded “Love Story” with a really close Honourable Mention in slowthai’s “MAZZA” featuring A$AP Rocky, just hedging out Headie One. With the worst, we have a lot to choose from but because of its high debut and hence the expected hype, I’ll give Worst of the Week to “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK, with tied Dishonourable Mentions to “Big” by Rita Ora, Imanbek and David Guetta featuring Gunna, and honestly Central Cee’s “Commitment Issues” for not working on any level, though it really easily could have gone to Dua Lipa, P!nk or Abra Cadabra. Here’s this week’s top 10:

Honestly, I have no idea what’s coming for next week other than Ariana Grande’s deluxe edition. Maybe Trippie Redd’s pop-punk album can make somewhat of a splash? I don’t know, I don’t think anything too big is coming but I’m probably wrong. I just know that a lot of this’ll be gone by next week. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank if you feel the need to do so and I’ll see you next week.