#its supposed to be a rock station but all the music is earlier stuff

[robotcove]

maybe loosing all my tabs is a sign that i should just fucking bookmark all my tabs all the time

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO, “Telling Tales.”

This story came as a suggestion from someone on the discord server, so I hope you all enjoy a break from some of the heavier stuff I have been doing lately.

The room was large and filled with noise, mostly the clinking of glasses and the clattering of voices, but on occasion the comm systems echoed with a cool female voice broadcasting announcements across the entirety of the station. 

There were at least forty tables inside the room packed in close together, with a long bar at one end where men and women alike stood standing and chatting to each other as they took their drinks. Below that was the low rumble of music, and up on all four walls, large projection screens broadcasted earth sports in delayed time.

At the far end of the room a large viewing window looked out on a wide view of space and the rest of the station. The station itself was huge, stretching out for what could have been miles and miles of tightly packed corridors and branching rooms. The station itself was a mesh of Tesraki and human technology and had been built right here in orbit….. In orbit of the thing staring at them from out in the darkness.

A supermassive black hole ringed by a disk of bright light and a halo that cut across the middle.

Honestly as McCaster stepped into the room, he found the view very disconcerting, and had the sudden worry that…. Inexplicably they would start slowly drifting towards the black hole until they succumbed to a horrendous and terrifying death. Looking around though, it seemed that no one else seemed to think so, and he ushered himself inside and over to the bar hoping that a drink might calm him down.

He sidled up to the bar leading against the metal countertop and motion for the bartender with a hand.

She slid over to where he was. She was dressed casually, though the bearing of her chin told him that she was one of the soldiers working on the station and not just a civilian. He ordered something to drink, and he came back a moment later with a metal tankard. He took it surprised to find that he missed the bright amber liquid inside cool glass covered in a layer of condensation, but he supposed having breakable drinking vessels wasn’t going to do for a ship like this.

Still, the liquid inside his mug looked a sort of muddy brown rather than a pleasant amber.

He took another sip.

Still tasted fine though.

He turned to look around the bar watching as groups of people chatted to each other , drank and ate.

Not all of them worked here, some of them, like the crew of the Omen, had stopped by for supplies and to give their men and women some time to relax and have a little fun before they had to ship out again. McCaster felt this was really his only chance for a while, to meet people off the ship.

He sidled forward eyes scanning over the room and falling on a woman. She was pretty, young about his age with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail.

Couldn’t hurt right?

Unfortunately, just as he was sidling up, some other gus seemed to have the same Idea, and he sat down at her table just as two others did pausing to stare at each other across the table.

McCaster looked at the young woman, “This seat isn’t taken, is it?”

She tilted her head at him in near amusement, “I can’t control where you sit.”

“Then I suppose you don’t mind if we join you.” The other man added receiving a glower from McCaster across the table.

“You work here.” The other man asked her 

“Yes.”

“Well me and the boys here are just off from The UNSC Pioneer, finest ship this side of the quadrant.”

McCaster snorted into his glass, not trying to be a dick this time, but he knew THAT was a lie.

The other man glared at him, “What, you disagree.”

“Frankly, yes. Our ship is Objectively the best and that’s not even me bragging.”

“Oh really, and what ship is this.”

McCaster smirked, “The UNSC Omen, but I bet you’ve heard of it.”

There was a chorus of disbelief up from the other men.

“Right, and I bet you are personal friends with Admiral Vir too, right.”

McCaster frowned, “Maybe not personal friends, but I did fly with him once.”

More disbelieving booing.

He crossed his arms, “Don’t believe me huh well what about this.” he reached into his pocket to snag his ID card and then pulled it out, holding it up for the entire table to see, “See Lt McCaster of the UNSC Omen. I fly a Thunderhawk, and sometimes the shuttles.” This time the men could hardly argue, his iD said as much, at least as much about which ship he worked on and what he did.

THere was a light murmuring around the table.

“That’s right, so like ninety precent of my friends are aliens.” He was exaggerating just a little bit, he didn’t really interact with the aliens on the ship all that much accept for the Celzex that fixed the weapons on his jet, and the Drev he liked to play"  pool with.

But the blond was looking at him with interest, so its not like he could squander this opportunity

He nodded glancing sidelong at the girl. 

“Yeah, like I said, its not like the Admiral and I take lunch together or anything, ‘but’ the ship is small enough that I do run into him on a daily basis, cool guy, a bit weird though. I actually flew with him during the burg war on the Gromm home planet.”

A chorus of disbelief.

Behind him someone chimed in, “Bullshit.”

He turned to see that another table behind them had overheard his claims. There was a pretty redhead sitting there, and so he wasn’t likely to let go of his momentum. He raised his ID badge for all to see, “Not lying.” He raised his mug to his lips and took a long satisfied sip, “Disbelieve me all you wan’t but it’s true.”

“Well don’t just sit there all smug, tell us about it then.” Someone urged, and he was more than happy to oblige.

“Well, we had just been informed of the eminent Burg attack on the Gromm capital city below. I had been being debriefed by the Commander, at the time, and went with him to the bridge as we were debriefed. The Nexus was down and Burg ships were descending in swarms. They were unprotected on the planet below, and it was clearly up to our crew to stop the attack.”

His little crowd was drawing even more eyes, and he found himself with a small crowd of skeptics sitting around him listening to his every word.

He found himself speaking faster with excitement and nerves.

“I was on the bridge and watched him survey the scene, when out of nowhere he hands the captain chair over to one of his lieutenants and orders me out with him. They had orbital defences, but he knew that they had no chance in atmosphere since they didn’ have any fighter jets to push back the invasion.” he puffed out his chest, “Admiral Vir handpicked me to accompany him as his copilot and gunner.”

Another chorus of disbelief.

He shook his head, “Disbelieve me all you want, but it’s true. He knew my talents, and he knew I could keep up with him. And I tell you I have never seen a man or woman that could fly like he does.”

He had them now leaning forward in their chairs.

The best part is all of this was true…. Mostly.

“Of course, I was ready, solid as a rock, I have been training for just such situations for the entirety of my career, and I had no hesitations about what I was going to do. The Admiral was relying on me to be his copilot and damn straight I wasn’t going to let him down.” He grinned in a self satisfactory way, “He gave me charge of all the important stuff while he was flying combat…. And he made it sure in no unclear terms that if he couldn’t handle the flying, I was going to take over for him.”

Ok that was sort of a lie, but only a little one.

“I knew as soon as we were coming in that Admiral vir had an idea brewing. We didn’t go for an angled entry but instead piloted our jet straight down. I thought that the re entry was going to rattle my teeth out of my head. But as I said before I had no doubts about the Admiral. I knew we were going in, and I had inklings of what the admiral was about to do. I never questioned him.”

Also kind of a lie, but it's not like it mattered.

“We were plunging from the sky, fire spitting off our wings, going so fast it makes your insides feel like they are on your outsides. Picture the sky fading to blue behind you, fire is benign thrown off your wings like water from a waterfall, the G force is so powerful that it compresses your chest and makes it hard to breathe,” he was standing now gesturing wildly, “We plummet from the sky, and fire our guns exploding a burg ship just before it takes out one of our other fighters. We pull up right before the ground, must have been nine ten maybe even fifteen Gs.” Okay he was exaggerating, “But I stayed conscious through the whole thing.” That was also kind of a lie.

“We broke into combat with the burg drones, and I shot down at least three of them as the Admiral piloted.  He said afterwards that he had never seen someone take the shots I did and make it.” Okay yes he had been passed out for half of this, but again its not like any of them were going to know.

What harm was a little exaggeration.

“I caught one burg as we were coming out of a sharp dive, my hand felt nine times heavier than it should have, but I nailed it in the engine compartment and it exploded into a ball of fire. I was still shooting them down when the Admiral orders me to take control of the ship. Of course I wanted to ask what was going on, but there was no time, I grab the stick and manuver us into a tight barrel roll. A ship explodes behind us. I have control of the jet now complete control and I pull us up into tight pursuit of another. I avoid two missiles and in a moment of genius, I drop all of our flares, which collide with at least four burg ships exploding on impact. What I hadn’t known is that the Admiral’s hand had cramped from all that earlier flying, and if I hadn’t been there he would have died. But at that moment I had no idea and proceeded to clear enemy skies over the capital city. I dived so close to the ground that we might have crashed if I hadn’t pulled us into an inverted upwards pull for the last few seconds”

He continued to speak and as he did the fight grew even more excessive and heroic. He detailed in exquisite and colorful imagery as he single handedly flew them to safety pulling off near impossible maneuvers, crack shots and many more outlandish happenings as he and Admiral Vir valiantly switched back and forth on the controls, equals in every way.

He was just describing their great and climactic fight scene where, he had to take command of the ship once again, when he finally noticed no one was really paying attention to him. He saw their eyes, looking past him.

His voice slowed, as he looked around eyebrows furrowed.

He turned where he stood and cut off mid sentence as his eyes fell on a familiar face in the crowd.

Admiral Vir sat behind him in a chair balancing on two legs, head tilted to the side. His eyepatch covered one of his eyes, but the expression on his face was one of great and abiding amusement.

He leaned forward in his seat, “Don’t let me interrupt you lieutenant. I believe you were just getting the the part where you pull an inverted double helix back loop and I pass out drooling in the front, you just manage to pull us out of that dive, and the two burg ships are so confused by the manuver that they crash into each other and explode  catching the attention of all the other stunned burg in the area and allowing the other pilots a final push in clearing the sky?”

McCaster’s mouth opened and then closed and then opened again .

Admiral Vir continued to smile as McCaster stammered and gurgled like an idiot.

“So…. what actually happened.” Someone asked 

McCaster plopped shamefacedly down in his seat. Admiral Vir paused tilting his head in the other direction as if thinking. A good portion of the room had gone quiet as they shuffled closer to hear the stroy. He stood after a moment and walked over to where McCaster was sitting placing his hands on the back of the chair.

“Well The first part of the story wasn’t wrong. I had been debriefing McCaster and the other recruits on a few aspects of my ship when we got the call in that the Gromm homeworld was being attacked. I DID give up command to the ship of one of my lieutenants, and I DID as McCaster to fly with me as copilot.” he smiled and easy smile that seemed to light up the room around him.

Everyone within a twenty foot radius shifted forward in an effort to be closer to the man and the magnetic nature of his personality and charming smile.

“McCaster was top of his class in flight school, and I wanted an extra pair of eyes, that is true. We did take a vertical dive into the atmosphere instead of an angled entry. Yes there was fire spitting off the wings, and yes we did pull out of a vertical dive after saving one of the other fighter jets. All of that is pretty accurate.”

HE smiled and McCaster wilted.

“He did embellish a few things.” he rested a hand on McCaster’s shoulders, “But what is a good story without a little bit of embellishment? I’ve certainly never told a story that didn’t sound about ten times better than it actually was.” There was a small laugh from the crowd, “Point being that I would certainly fly with McCaster again, he is a brave, talented, and honorable member of my crew even if he is a colorful storyteller.”

McCaster looked up at the Admiral, still leaning on the back of his chair, and watched as the man made subtle eye contact with the blond girl just a few feet away.

McCaster blushed As Admiral Vir pushed his chair forward across the ground to sit next to her.

She was smiling in some measure of amusement, and Admiral Vir winked at him as he backed away. Either that or he just blinked, it was hard to tell with the eyepatch.

He turned back to look at the woman who was looking at him in some measure of amusement.

He rubbed the back of his head.

“He seems to be one hell of a wing man, in and out of a jet.” She commented 

He stammered stupidly glancing over his shoulder to where Admiral Vir had retreated to the bar, ignoring the eyes on him, hungry expressions from both men and women as he ordered a drink and sat down.

Bless the Admiral, number one for being a good wingman for sure, and two…. For not totally calling him out on all his bullshit.

Granted everyone probably guessed, but at least he could keep some of his dignity with plausible deniability.

He was able to work himself back into a state of cool suave composure, enough to learn that the woman’s name was Emily, and that she worked as a data analyst for the big black hole thing. It had a lot to do with math and physics which he totally didn’t understand, but certainly tried to because he knew she liked it.

Across the room, Admiral vir attracted ebbing and flowing waves of people coming to listen to his own stories which were mostly modest and self deprecating depictions of what really happened. Being the first person to fall flat on his face on an alien planet, how he had scared the shit out of the bran the first time he met them, how he ended up in a Rundi prison because he was being a dumbass.

There were a few times where he too tended to embellish the stories, only to preface later by saying, but what actually happened was this.

As soon as the man stepped into the room he seemed to change the whole gravity of it like  a wandering star collecting satellites.

He supposed that’s what happened when you were famous.

Thanks to him though, it turned out he got along really well with Emily, and despite knowing he was a complete moron, she seemed to like him too, and he scored her number and a surreptitious invitation to accompany her on a walk to somewhere quieter.

As he was leaving, he turned back to look at the Admiral, making surprise eye contact with him as he did.

He raised his glass minutely to McCaster before turning around and continuing his story.

He grinned as Emily took his hand,.

“So….. tell me really, how many times did you pass out when flying with him.”

He snorted, “Please, I spent  more than half of it passed out, like I can’t remember shit. I don’t even remember where the sky or ground was relative to each other for most of the time. The man can fly…. Like all that stuff I was telling you, just replace my name with his and you might have yourself a believable story.”

She laughed at his expense and he laughed too 

Thank you Admiral Vir. 

[skylarmoon71]

TMNT 2014/2016 Donatello x Reader- Extra

“Donnie you girlfriend’s here!” Raph’s yell echoed throughout the lair, and you were sure you could feel Donatello blushing from all the way across the room. You punched Raph’s arm playfully as you moved past him, and he just smiled at you. Donatello who was typing on the computers halted, turning and looking you over nervously. 

“H-Hey (Y/N). “ Even though the both of you had been dating for weeks now, and he was still shy when talking with you. Or interacting in general. You didn’t mind though, you’d get him out of his shell soon enough. (Pun unintended).

You sat down next to him, watching as he went back to work. He was unplugging a few of the wires and adjusting them. For what, you weren’t sure. 

“Are you rearranging the system?” He nodded. 

“Just a small modification. Mickey wrecked the main servers again with hot cheese.” you snickered. 

“Hey brah, no one told me they weren’t cheese proof!” Laughing, you shifted to help him. You had a pretty good idea on how he set up the systems. It would go by much faster with the both of you working on it. Donnie glanced at you for a second, and you hadn’t even noticed. He was still lost on how he’d gotten someone like you to fall for him. 

He’d always been a person of logic. There was an explanation and a reason behind every issue. Most problems could be solved. Yet, the mystery that was you, it was the first time he didn’t have an explanation. His eyes drifted when he realized you clicked on a music player. It was a random radio station. You turned grinning at him. 

“Some music to help us.” you said. And just like that you were back at it. The music filtered through softly. And you found yourself humming to the lyrics you had no idea you even knew. It was a soft melody. And strangely, it made you think of Donatello. 

Something about you

It's like a addiction

Hit me with your best shot honey

I've got no reason to doubt you

'Cause some things hurt

And you're my only virtue

And I'm virtually yours

He listened to the words, eyes now completely focused on you. Your eyes looked so bright as you rocked your head to the slow beat. You weren’t even doing much, but when he looked at you all he could think was..

“Beautiful..” 

And you keep coming back, coming back again

Keep running round, running round, running round my head

And there's certain things that I adore

And there's certain things that I ignore

But I'm certain that I'm yours

Certain that I'm yours

Certain that I'm yours

The song was speaking to you on a deeper level. The more you listened, the harder it was for you to stay on task. You licked your lips, swallowing, because maybe it was just you, but the room felt a bit hotter now. 

There's something about you

It's when you get angry

Hold me, I saw mercy

And you're like a shoulder to turn to

If some things burn that's when we're hanging on for this life

We held on so tight

And you keep coming back, coming back again

Keep running round, running round, running round my head

You fiddle with the cord in your hand for a few seconds. Usually it never took you so long to find the correct jack. So why was it suddenly difficult for you to think. You wanted to steal a look in Donnie's direction to see his progress. 

“Who am I kidding, I just want an excuse to look at him.” It was true and you knew it. When you finally convinced yourself to look, his eyes were already on you. Your heart gave a quick beat, and in a matter of seconds, the items in your hands were completely forgotten. 

And there's certain things that I adore

And there's certain things that I ignore

But I'm certain that I'm yours

Certain that I'm yours (I adore you)

Certain that I'm yours (I adore you)

I adore you, I adore you

I adore you, I adore you

Certain that I'm yours

Your hands slid over the table, finding their way into Donnie’s. He closed his fingers over your palm, and you felt yourself moving on its own, getting closer to him. Your mouth opened slightly, ready to feel the softness of his lips. The taste of his tongue. The firmness of his biceps. The-

“No kissing in front of us bro!!” Mikey’s voice broke your little moment, and Donnie pulled away so quickly he fell out of his chair. He landed on his back, scrambling to gather himself from the very ungraceful fall. Your cheeks flushed. “I completely forgot they were there.” 

Damn Mikey, it was going to be difficult trying to get a kiss from Donnie now. Poor guy ran off mumbling something about getting more data cables. You sighed, placing your chin in your palm, watching him basically sprint away. Leonardo passed by, giving you a look. 

“I’m disappointed in you (Y/N), taking advantage of Donnie like that.” He was smiling as he said it and you laughed, chugging an empty soda can from the table at him. 

“Oh hush!” 

~~~~

Resetting the networks didn’t take that long, and when you were done you just chilled at the lair. They all just went about their day as normal. There was practice, then pizza then some more fighting, a lot more pizza. Sometimes you wondered if they were addicted to pizza. The day was coming to an end, and you knew what that meant. Pretty soon the turtles would be out on patrol. You headed to Donnie’s room to gather your stuff. Picking up your jacket, you were about to meet up so you could head with them to the surface. As you were turning to leave Donnie walked in. You smiled. “Be careful out there. I know you guys are ninja turtles and all but that doesn’t make you invincible. “ 

“I know, we will.” They kind of were invincible. Not because of the mutagen, but because they had each other. Whenever they fought you saw it. The unity. There was nothing stronger than their bond as brothers, even if they fought on the daily. 

Donnie was just standing there staring off into space. For a second you thought maybe you forgot something. When you looked over at the bed, you saw the goggles he usually had on. 

“Oh, you came for this.” you were about to pick it up and hand it to him. 

“I’m sorry.” You stopped looking at him confused. “W-What? Why are you apologizing?” 

He scratched his neck. “I always make things really awkward when I’m around you. Earlier I..I really wanted to kiss you. Sorry if Mikey made you uncomfortable.” you shook your head. Did he really think you would be mad for something like that. 

“Donnie come on we both know that Mikey lives to embarrass you. And you never have to apologize. If anything I should apologize. I know it’s a bit hard for you. You’re shy, but it’s cute. You don’t have to force yourself. I’m willing to go whatever pace you're comfortable with.” 

He was looking at you, processing your words. He was happy you understood that it wasn’t always easy for him to display how he felt. But he really hoped he could be bold. Just for you. 

“Maybe I should just go for it..” he couldn’t see the harm in trying. 

Your brows knitted when you saw his posture change. He looked a bit more sure of himself. Sort of  the way he was when stating facts, or battling enemies. 

“Would you..prefer it if I were more forward. “ 

“What…” it took you awhile to realize he was walking you backwards. You finally made contact with the wall. And the way that he was looking at you, it was really causing tingles to run through your body. 

“Donnie…” He leaned down, silencing your words, and you leaned in, pulling in a sharp breath through your nose at the sudden kiss. You were trapped between his body and the wall. And you were perfectly fine with that. His finger ran over the side of your neck, and you could feel goosebumps follow as he trailed down your shoulder, over your collar bone. His hand didn’t move any further. After a few more seconds of slow sensual kisses, Donnie pulled back. His breathing was slightly labored. Your brain was still trying to catch up with what happened, because those kisses left you partially speechless. 

“Wow…” you muttered. You were usually the one to initiate kisses. Due to his shy nature, you sort of got used to being the one making the move. Watching him take the lead, it was incredibly sexy. 

“Just when I thought he couldn’t get any hotter.” 

Boy were you wrong. He picked you up this time, arm hooking under your knees and you squeaked, right before your words were stolen once again by another kiss. 

You felt this one all the way to your core. You were thankful he was supporting you, because if you’d been standing, you would have caved in seconds. 

“His tongue is…” you moaned, tightening your hold. 

When did he learn to kiss so well? Was he holding back this entire time. The warmth of his skin and yours seemed one in the same now. You couldn’t tell if it was his heart hammering or yours. Your fingers drifted down to his chest, enjoying the ridges of his plastron. Everything about him was so firm and strong, far different from his tender personality. 

You hoped you could just stay there kissing forever. When he parted this time, you could tell there was a great deal of reluctance. Your breath came out shakily, trying to recover from both his surprise attacks. 

“I’ll work on it.” He spoke softly. You looked at him. “Y-You’re fine..” you stammered. If he was going to be any more forward, surely your poor heart wouldn’t make it. Donnie was satisfied with the look of bliss on your face. “She looks happy.” That was all he could really hope for. His head moved closer, and you were already leaning in for round three. You sighed this time. 

“Gosh...I could never get tired of kissing him.” 

If not for your need of oxygen, you’d probably never part. Donatello sat down on the bed, still holding you. With the change in location, you twisted in his arms. You were now straddling him. You pressed into him, and Donnie fell back softly on the bed, bouncing slightly from the springs. You giggled, and so did he. 

“I suppose I should really let you go. You know, keeping the city safe and all. “ You really didn’t want to. And Mikey would probably bust in the door and ruin the moment anyway. He raised his hand, brushing your cheek, and you leaned into the touch. 

“Kiss me.” Donnie whispered. 

His low tone struck something in you. You shudder, nodding as you reconnected your lips. His hand ran over your back, up your spine. You arched into him, a sultry sound escaping. You blushed, because that one was unexpected. Donnie just kept kissing you, slowly, lovingly. You were unsure how a kiss could be so hungry and tender at the same time. It was crazy. His hands were now on your thighs, the heat from his fingers travelling to every part of your body. 

When you parted this time your head rested on his chest. You closed your eyes to try and regain some semblance of control. Because right now, Donnie was ruining you in the most wonderful way. 

“I think..I can get used to this..” you mutter. Donnie smiled, still running his hand up and down your back. 

“Me too.” He replied.

[thekillerssluts]

The Story Behind Every Song On Will Butler’s New Album Generations

Will Butler has a lot on his mind. It has, after all, been five years since his solo debut, Policy. A lot can happen in half a decade, and a lot has happened in this past half-decade — much of it quite dire. Butler was in his early 30s when Policy came out, and now he’s closing in on 40. He’s a husband and father. And he’s shaken by the state of the world, the idea of being an artist and a soon-to-be middle-aged man striving to guide his family through the chaos.

At least, that’s how it comes across through much of Generations, his sophomore outing that arrives today. Generations is a big, sprawling title by nature, and the album in turn grapples with all kinds of big picture anxieties. Mass shootings, the overarching darkness and anxiety of our time, trying to reckon with our surroundings but the system overload that occurs all too easily in the wake of it. Then there are more intimate songs, too, tales drawn from personal lives as people plug along just trying to navigate a tumultuous era.

Butler is, of course, no stranger to crafting music that seeks to parse the cultural moment and how it impacts in our daily lives. Ever since Arcade Fire ascended to true arena-rock status on The Suburbs 10 years ago, they have embarked on projects that explicitly try to make sense of our surroundings. (Not that their earlier work was bereft of heavy concepts — far from it — but Reflektor and Everything Now turned more of a specific eye towards contemporary ills and trials.) But as one voice amongst many in Arcade Fire, there is a cinematic scope to whatever Butler’s playing into there.

On Generations, he engages with a lot of similar concerns but all in his own voice — often yelping, desperate, frustrated then just trying to catch a breath. Butler leans on his trusty Korg MS-20 throughout Generations, often giving the album a synth-y indie backdrop that allows him to try on a few different selves. There are a handful of surging choruses, “la-la” refrains batting back against the darkness, slinking grooves maybe allowing someone the idea of brief physical release amidst ongoing strife.

Ahead of Generations’ arrival, Butler sent us some thoughts on the album, running from inspiration between the individual tracks to little details about the arrangement and composition of different songs. Now that you can hear the album for yourself, check it out and read along with Butler’s comments below.

1. “Outta Here”

I think this is the simplest song on the record. Just, like, get me out of here. Get me fucking out of here. I’m so tired of being here. No, I don’t have another answer, and I don’t expect anything to be better anywhere else. But, please, I would like to leave here.

I can play plenty of instruments, and can make interesting sounds on them, but kinda the only instrument I’m good at is a synth called the Korg MS-20. That’s the first sound on the record. It makes most of the bass you hear on the record. It’s a very aggressive, loud, versatile machine, and I wanted to start the record with it cause I’m good at playing it and it makes me happy.

2. “Bethlehem”

This song partly springs from “The Second Coming” by William Butler Yeats:​ “What rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?” Like a lot of folks, I woke up after the election in 2016 mad and sad and scared and exhausted. This song is born of that emotion.

My bandmates Jenny Shore, Julie Shore, and Sara Dobbs sing the bridge, and it’s a corrective to my (appropriate?) freaking out — this isn’t the apocalypse. You’re misquoting Yeats. Get your fucking head on straight. History has not ruptured — this shit we’re in is contiguous with the shit we’ve been dealing with for a long, long time. But still, we sometimes do need an apocalyptic vision to make change. Even if it’s technically wrong. I dunno. It’s an ongoing conversation.

There’s a lot of interplay with backing vocals on this record — sometimes the narrator is the asshole, sometimes the backing vocals are the asshole. Sometimes they’re just trying their best to figure out the world. This song starts that conversation.

3. “Close My Eyes”

I tried to make these lyrics a straightforward and honest description of an emotion I feel often: “I’m tired of waiting for a better day. But I’m scared and I’m lazy and nothing’s gonna change.” Kind of a sad song. Trying to tap into some Smokey Robinson/Motown feeling — “I’ve got to dance to keep from crying.”

There’s a lot of Mellotron on this record, and a lot of MS-20. This song has a bunch of Mellotron strings/choirs processed through the MS-20. It’s a trick I started doing on the Arcade Fire song “Sprawl II,” and I love how it sounds and I try to do it on every song if I can.

4. “I Don’t Know What I Don’t Know”

This makes a pair with “Close My Eyes” — shit is obviously fucked, but “I don’t know what I don’t know what I don’t know what I can do.” I’m not a proponent of the attitude! Just trying to describe it, as I often feel it. In my head, I know some things that I can do — my wife Jenny, for instance, works really hard to get state legislatures out of Republican control. Cause it’s all these weirdo state legislative chambers that have enormous power over law enforcement, and civil rights, and Medicaid, and everything.

The image in the last verse was drawn from the protests in Ferguson in 2015: “Watch the bullets and the beaters as they move through the streets — grab your sister’s kids — hide next to the fire station…” It’s been horrifically disheartening to see the police riot across America as their power has been challenged. I’ve got a little seed of hope that we might change things, but, man, dark times.

More MS-20 bass on this one, chained to the drum machine. This one is supposed to be insanely bass heavy — if it comes on in a car, the windows should be rattling, and you should be asking, “What the heck is going on here?” Trying for a contemporary hip-hop bass sound but in a way less spare context. First song with woodwinds — rhythmic stuff and freaky squeals by Stuart Bogie and Matt Bauder.

5. “Surrender”

This song is masquerading as a love song, but it’s more about friendship. About the confusion that comes as people change: Didn’t you use to have a different ideal? Didn’t we have the same ideal at some point? Which of us changed? How did the world change? Relationships that we sometimes wish we could let go of, but that are stuck within us forever.

It’s also about trying to break from the first-person view of the world. “What can I do? What difference can I make?” It’s not about some singular effort — you have to give yourself over to another power. Give over to people who have gone before who’ve already built something — you don’t have to build something new! The world doesn’t always need a new idea, it doesn’t always need a new personality. What can you do with whatever power and money you’ve got? Surrender it over to something that’s already made. And then the song ends with an apology: I’m sorry I’ve been talking all night. Just talk talk talking, all night. Shut up, Will.

Going for “wall of sound” on this one — bass guitar and bass synth and double tracked piano bass plus another piano plus Mellotron piano. The “orchestra” is about a dozen different synth and Mellotron tracks individually detuned. And then run through additional processing.

6. “Hide It Away”

This song is about secrets. Both on an intimate, heartbreaking level — friends’ miscarriages, friends’ immigration status, shitty affairs coming to light — and on a grand, horrible level: New York lifting the statute of limitations on child abuse prosecutions, all the #MeToo reporting. There’s nothing you can do when your secret is revealed. Like, what can you do? You just have to let the response wash over you. If you’ve done something horrible, god-willing, you’ll have to pay for it in some way. If it’s something not horrible, but people will hate you anyway, goddammit, I wish there were some way to protect you.

This song has the least poetic line on the record, a real clunker: “It’s just money and power, money and power might set them free.” But it’s a clunky, shitty concept — the most surefire protection is being rich and knowing powerful people. But even then, shit just might come out. Even after you’re long dead.

Came from a 30-second guitar sample I recorded while messing around at the end of trying to track a different song. I liked the chords, looped them to make a demo. And the song was born from there. This is the one song I play drums on. Snare is chained to the MS-20, trying to play every frequency the ear can hear at the same time on some of those big hits.

7. “Hard Times”

[Laughs] I sat down and tried to write a Spotify charting electro-hit, and this is what came out: “Kill the rich, salt the earth.” Oh well. Written way before COVID-19, but my 8-year-old son turned to me this spring and asked, “Did you write the song ‘Hard Times’ about now, because we’re living through hard times?” No, I didn’t.

In Dostoevsky’s Notes From Underground, the narrator is a real son-of-a-bitch—contrarian, useless. Mad at the strong confident people who think they’ve got it figured out. And they don’t! And neither does the narrator — but he knows he doesn’t, and he at times yearns for some higher answer, and he’s funny, and too clever, but still knows he’s a piece of shit. I read Notes From Underground in high school and kinda forgot how it shaped my worldview until I sat down with it a couple years ago. The bridge on this song is basically smushed up quotes from Notes From Underground.

I was asking Shiftee, who mixed the record, if there are any vocal plug-ins I should be playing around with. He pointed me toward Little AlterBoy, which is basically a digital recreation of the kind of pedal the Knife use, for instance, on their vocal sound. It can shift the timbre/character of a voice without changing the pitch. Or change pitch without changing character. Very fun! Very much all over this track. Tried to make the bridge sound like a Sylvester song.

8. “Promised”

Another friend song masquerading as a love song. I’ve met a handful of extraordinary people in my life, who stopped doing extraordinary work because life is hard and it sucks. People who — I mean, it’s a lottery and random and who cares — could be great writers or artists, who kind of just disappeared. And it’s heartbreaking and frustrating. I don’t blame them. Maybe they weren’t made for this world. Maybe it’s just random. Maybe they’ll do amazing work in their 60s!

We tracked this song before it was written. Julie and Miles came over and we made up a structure and did a bunch of takes, found a groove. Which I then hacked up into what it is now! The bed tracks are lovely and loose. Maybe I’ll put out a jammier version of this song at some point. The other big synth on this record is the Oberheim OB-8, and that’s the bass on this one (triple tracked along with some MS-20).

9. “Not Gonna Die”

This song is about terrorism, and the response to terrorism. I wrote it a couple weeks after the Bataclan shooting in Paris in 2015. For some reason, a couple weeks after the shooting, I was in midtown Manhattan. I must have been Christmas shopping. I had to pop into the Sephora on 5th Avenue to pick up something specific — I think for my wife or her sister. I don’t remember. But I remember walking in, and the store was really crowded, and for just a split second I got really scared about what would happen if someone brought out a gun and started shooting up the crowd. And then I got so fucking mad at the people that made me feel that emotion. Like, I’m not gonna fucking die in the midtown Sephora, you fucking pieces of shit. Thanks for putting that thought in my head.

BUT ALSO, fuck all the fucking pieces of shit who are like, “We can’t accept refugees — what if they’re terrorists?” FUCK OFF. Some fucking terrified family driven from their home by a war isn’t going to kill me. Or anyone. Fuck off. Some woman from Central America fleeing from her husband who threatened to kill her isn’t going to fucking bomb Times Square. You fucking pieces of shit.

In November/December 2015, the Republican primary had already started — Trump had announced in June. And every single one of those pieces of shit running for president were talking about securing our borders, and keeping poor people out, and trying to justify it by security talk. FUCK OFF. You pieces of shit. Fuck right off. Anyway. Sorry for cursing.

I kind of think of the outro of this song as an angry “Everyday People.” Everyday people aren’t going to kill me. Lots of great saxes on this track from Matt Bauder and Stuart Bogie.

The intro of the song we recorded loud, full band, which I then ran through the MS-20 and filtered down till it was just a bass heart-pulse, and re-recorded solo piano and voice over that.

10. “Fine”

I kind of think that “Outta Here” to “Not Gonna Die” comprise the record, and “Fine” operates as the afterword and the prologue rolled into one. An author’s note, maybe. It was kind of inspired by high-period Kanye: I wanted to talk about something important in a profane, sometimes horribly stupid way, but have it be honest and ultimately transcendent.

In the song, I talk semi-accurately about where I come from. My mom’s dad was a guitar player who led bands throughout the ’30s and ’40s. In post-war LA, he had a band with Charles Mingus as the bass player. Charles Mingus! One of the greatest geniuses in all of American history. But this was the ’40s, and in order to travel with the band, to go in the same entrances, to eat dinner at the same table, he had to wear a Hawaiian shirt and everybody had to pretend he was Hawaiian. Because nobody was sure how racist they were supposed to be against Hawaiians.

Part of the reason I’m a musician is that my great-grandfather was a musician, and his kids were musicians, and their kids were musicians, and their kids are musicians. Part of the reason is vast generations of people working to make their kids’ lives better, down to my life. Part of the reason is that neither government nor mob has decided to destroy my family’s lives, wealth, and property for the last couple hundred years. I tried to write a song about that?

Generations is out now via Merge. Purchase it here.

https://www.stereogum.com/2098946/will-butler-generations-song-meanings/franchises/interview/footnotes-interview/

[passionate-reply]

Do you “fucking love” science? Have you ever been blinded by it? Well, it doesn’t really matter, because that goofy little number isn’t really supposed to be on Thomas Dolby’s debut album in the first place. Find out about all the awesome OTHER stuff that’s actually meant to be here, in this new installment of Great Albums! Transcript below the break.

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be talking about a stellar album by one of those artists who have gone down in history as “one hit wonders,” despite producing a deep catalogue that’s often more impressive than that one song they end up known for: it’s The Golden Age of Wireless, the debut LP of Thomas Dolby. Chances are pretty good you’ve heard his big hit, “She Blinded Me With Science,” before...at least, if you’re American.

Music: “She Blinded Me With Science”

Like I said, if you’re American, you’ve heard this one before. If anything, it’s oversaturated! But if you’re from elsewhere in the world, you might not know it. Growing up in the US, I went through the whole gauntlet of alleged “one hit wonders” of 80s synth-pop, and a great many of them turned out to be British artists who had perfectly respectable careers in their native UK: Gary Numan, Soft Cell, and OMD, for example. Thomas Dolby is also British, but he’s apparently more famous here than he is across the pond--which is still not that famous.

He really ought to be, though, because The Golden Age of Wireless is a true masterpiece. Or, at least it WAS, in its original form. It’s actually a tough album to talk about, insofar as it’s hard to pin down what exactly constitutes “The Golden Age of Wireless.” It’s had quite a few different pressings, and a variety of different track listings. And the original version of it does NOT include “She Blinded Me With Science.” While I’d never argue that it’s a bad song, since it is insanely fun, and catchy to the point of being irresistible, it really does not belong on this album. I’m sure it helped them move copies of it, but its inclusion kind of ruins the vibe, to be honest. Its in-your-face and flamboyant hooks make it feel like a very unwarranted intrusion on an otherwise fairly serious and contemplative LP, which seems to have been intended as a fairly tight and thoughtful concept album.

Aside from that glaring issue, there are a few other tracks that have appeared on later versions of the album that weren’t there from the start, namely, the two tracks from Dolby’s first ever-release, a double A-side of “Urges” and “Leipzig,” as well as “One of Our Submarines,” the B-side of some versions of “She Blinded Me With Science.” All of these tracks are excellent, and mesh with the thematic and sonic character of the album quite well. “One of Our Submarines” in particular is often considered one of the best tracks of Dolby’s career--melancholy, claustrophobic, and stinging in its poignant sense of tragedy. It captures the misery and futility of modern war, as well as the sunset of the British Empire after the Second World War...and there’s a sample of a dolphin, too. It’s easily the track that I most wish had been included from the very start.

Music: “One of Our Submarines”

But now that that’s over with, I’d like to drill down and talk about how the album operates in its original form, as the artist intended. Like I said earlier, The Golden Age of Wireless is best understood as a concept album, and I think of it in a similar league as classics like the Buggles’ The Age of Plastic, OMD’s Dazzle Ships, or even Kate Bush’s Hounds of Love. The original track listing opens with “Flying North,” a stellar introduction to one of the most prominent themes of the album: freedom!

Music: “Flying North”

“Flying North” is an exultant anthem of self-determination, and one clearly mediated by “metal birds”--aeroplanes, that is. It’s a celebration of the independence allowed by technology, and a rather winsome one, in which this almost macho image of a heroic pilot takes center stage. The final track of the album, “Cloudburst At Shingle Street,” is a bit more esoteric, but seems to be aiming for a pretty similar idea overall, and I’d argue that the two of them form thematic “bookends.”

Music: “Cloudburst At Shingle Street”

“Cloudburst At Shingle Street” leads us through the technological evolution of mankind, from swinging from trees to paving concrete beaches--but the spacey synth warbles beneath those lines give them an ominous bent. The assertion that we might be heading into a cloudburst “mindless,” “naked,” or “blindly” is unnervingly cynical, but, we’re told, “there’s no escaping it.” Despite all of these signs that our better judgment should be resisting the temptation of this miraculous cloudburst...this triumphant, rising coda, with its powerful choir encouraging us onwards, seems to muddle the whole thing. The untethered, free-roaming nature of modern life isn’t always this sexy and exuberant, though--consider the track “Weightless,” as a counterpoint.

Music: “Weightless”

“Weightless” certainly seems to be about modern transients of some sort--in this case, traveling by car--but never lionizes them or makes them too terribly enviable. Instead, the focus is on the image of the draining fuel tank: the constant emptiness and craving for meaning, validation, and genuine love. No matter the allure of this very American, Route 66-like setting, the gas stations, cinemas, and decadent diner meals along the way are never any real substitute for an emotionally authentic life. That setting is, of course, a wistfully backward-looking Midcentury one. Nostalgia and childhood naivete are also among the album’s major themes, and are expressed the most clearly on “Europa and the Pirate Twins.”

Music: “Europa and the Pirate Twins”

Narratively, “Europa and the Pirate Twins” is a bittersweet story of childhood playmates who never quite re-unite, despite promising to be together again someday. The really interesting wrinkle is the fact that the narrator’s beloved Europa has become a famous celebrity as an adult, and the narrator is essentially a fan of her despite their real-world relationship. It’s an uncanny, confused parasocial relationship dynamic that feels extremely contemporary, despite the fact that it’s ultimately more of a commentary on the rise of teenager-oriented marketing during the Midcentury than anything else. The strange, often unhealthy relationships between young people and mass media, particularly radio, are another one of the major sources of tension on The Golden Age of Wireless. “Europa and the Pirate Twins” is also one of the more interesting tracks, instrumentally, featuring a prominent harmonica part, performed by Andy Partridge of XTC. Given how much the album strives to be about the future and past simultaneously, steeped in nostalgia and utopian visions alike, it makes sense to hear Dolby blend elements of traditional folk or popular music with forward-thinking synth-pop sensibilities. Listen also for a flute on “Windpower,” and a substantial amount of guitar on “Commercial Breakup,” a song that proves Dolby certainly can rock, if he feels like it.

Music: “Commercial Breakup”

The cover art for The Golden Age of Wireless isn’t exactly the most iconic, but I’ve always thought it was very beautiful. You’ve got this very eye-catching, lurid, pulp magazine style illustration of Dolby as a diligent, yet glamourous engineer, radiating with the complementary colour palette of orange and blue, the perfect picture of retro cool. But it’s framed and inset, to give us a conscious sense of observing something that’s coming to us from another time, an artifact preserved. That patina and sense of the antique is amplified by this dull-coloured background, which actually shows a marble sculpture gallery in a museum, though that’s tough to make out unless you have it right in front of you. The numerous shades of irony operating here are another thing that make the album feel strikingly contemporary.

I’m also a huge fan of the album’s title. “Wireless,” if you weren’t aware, is an old-fashioned term for radio. Radio itself is a strong theme on the album, most obviously on the track “Radio Silence,” but the use of the term “wireless” isn’t just another piece of retro nostalgia--I think it’s also evocative of that sense of free-flying, untethered independence I talked about earlier. The first half, i.e., “golden age,” is perhaps even more important. “Golden age” is an extremely loaded term that brings a number of rich associations to the table. “Golden ages” are simultaneously longed for, but not fully believed in. They’re bygone eras that usually felt like nothing special to the people who actually lived through them, despite their greatness being palpable to anyone reflecting on them in hindsight. In every golden age, there’s a poetic tragedy.

I think that even if someone did buy this record just to get their hands on “She Blinded Me With Science,” they’d probably be at least a little bit disappointed in what they got. The album does have some decent pop singles, chiefly “Radio Silence” and “Europa and the Pirate Twins,” but they’re still humming with nostalgia and unease, and not without some substantial experimental DNA.

Music: “Radio Silence”

While they cut the single weirdest track on the album, “The Wreck of the Fairchild,” they still retained some fairly ambitious tracks, such as “Windpower”--clearly an ode to Kraftwerk’s “Radioactivity.” It’s hard to be angry with an electronic musician for trying to rip off Kraftwerk, since they all do it one way or another, and in this case it invites a natural comparison between two great concept albums focused on the theme of radio.

Music: “Windpower”

Overall, though, The Golden Age of Wireless is still a reasonably accessible album on the whole. Possibly not what you expected, and certainly, a work that’s more sentimental and affecting than good for the dance floor, but as far as poignant, ballady, diesel-punk odes to the tragic techno-optimism of the Midcentury go, I’d say it’s not all that hard to get into! Dolby does have a pop core, as an artist, that he’s quite capable of selling to us if he chooses to. For proof of that point, look no further than the single “Hyperactive!” which he followed this up with a few years later:

Music: “Hyperactive!”

When discussing an ostensible one-hit wonder, there’s a distinct temptation to resort to “they deserved better” style rhetoric. On one hand, yes, I do think more people should hear Thomas Dolby’s music, and that it has a lot to say to us. I’m all about obscure music finding new life and being appreciated. That said, in the case of Dolby, I think he basically got what he wanted, in the end. He’s always been more keenly interested in music’s many behind-the-scenes roles than he has in chasing pop stardom himself--he’s produced music, and scored a number of films and video games over the decades. It feels kind of wrong to tell someone who’s successful at one thing that they “deserve” to be successful at something different, just because we may want to hear him do it, or because we esteem one skillset more highly than the other. Ultimately, The Golden Age of Wireless is a Great Album on its own terms, whether Dolby ever decides to grace us with another synth-pop release under his own name again--which he did in 2011, with A Map of the Floating City. But it’s his decision, as an artist, and the fact that he can choose to or not is a luxury that allows him integrity. I think that’s the way it ought to be.

My overall top track on this album has got to be “Airwaves,” a song in which the narrator dies, tragically and suddenly, in an automobile accident. It’s not the sexy, “Warm Leatherette” sort of car accident, but rather a dismally realistic one, that shows quite frankly how undignified death can be. Sometimes, we aren’t so much doomed heroes as we are frightened, sickly children, defeated by our own fickle bodies. The last thought our narrator gets is “I itch all over, let me sleep”; their honour perishes just moments before they do. Meanwhile, the radio is a constant presence throughout, and serves as both something to anchor the scene in the droll and quotidian, as well as ultimately becoming something transcendent. The promise of “airwaves” is not only the human interconnectedness made possible by technology, but also a hint at the ultimate destiny of human souls, a kind of ethereal afterlife in the sky. The meandering lulls of the verses contrast sharply with the song’s eerily soaring refrain, which enhances that feeling that those “airwaves” occupy some sort of higher plane. On that surprisingly heavy note, that’s all I’ve got for today, so thanks for listening!

Music: “Airwaves”

[osakaso5]

Yuki Twelve Hits Rabbit Chat Part 2: Request Hits 1

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Tsumugi: Thank you for joining, everyone! We'll be accepting requests for Tsunashi-san's RADIO STATION Twelve Hits! here. 

Tsumugi: I'll be your moderator once again. I look forward to chatting with you!

Momo: Thanks for coming, guys~ \(*´∀`)ノ♪

Rinto: Thank you for taking the time to join us.

Kaoru: I knew his partner and manager would start talking before him.

Momo: Yuki's today's star, so I just couldn't wait! I've been waiting to start posting all morning ☆

Rinto: Momo-kun came all the way to our office, even though it's his day off.

Momo: I know I could've chatted just fine from my home, lol But I heard Yuki would be here, too~!

Gaku: Speaking of our star, he still hasn't said anything.

Mitsuki: Yuki-san, are you even in here!?

Yuki: Of course I am

Yuki: I was listening to Momo and Okarin's cute and soothing chatter

Yuki: Thanks for coming ^^

Yamato: You take things way too easy.

Riku: Re:vale's getting along well, as always!

Nagi: It is wonderful to be so close to someone :-)

Tsumugi: We've barely even started, and Re:vale's already displaying their affection..!

Tsumugi: Let's get started with the requests. As always, we'll start with Tamaki-san, the youngest here!

Tamaki: Yup

Tamaki: Yukirin, do an English test

Yuki: Did you have a test at school

Tamaki: Yeah. I got it all wrong

Tamaki: Iorin was super pissed, sighing and complaining about how bad I was

Tamaki: So I'm gonna show him that even adults can't clear that thing!

Yuki: Does this mean Tamaki-kun thinks I'm stupid?

Iori: I stayed late for your supplementary lessons. I think my sighing is more than warranted.

Tamaki: I said you could leave without me

Iori: If I had left, you wouldn't have made it to the recording *angry*

Mitsuki: But Tamaki's wrong answers can be pretty entertaining! Especially during quiz shows and stuff.

Yamato: Come to think of it, just the other day he did a grade school kanji test that asked him to fill in the phrase "strong [ishi]", and he wrote down the kanji for "rock" (lol)

Nagi; Ishi, as in "rock",  and ishi, as in "will"! Japanese homonyms are quite difficult :-(

Tamaki: Rocks are strong too! Since they're all hard!

Momo: That's a great answer, from a variety perspective っ(・∀・)=b

Yuki: I think Tamaki-kun's answer was good, too.

Yuki: It shows how hard-headed he is

Tamaki: Yukiriiiin

Tamaki: 

Tenn: Was that supposed to be a pun, Yuki-san?

Sogo: Tamaki-kun, I'll help you study too.

Tamaki: 

Tsumugi: Good work with your supplementary lessons, both of you..!

Tsumugi: You're next, Iori-san!

Iori: Mine is for him to try a new musical instrument.

Iori: We all know he's a songwriter, but I also imagine he can play just about any instrument he wants. Perhaps there are fans who would like to see him try his hand at something new and unusual?

Yuki: Hmm. That sounds fun

Yuki: The musical performances you try to do on your show have been popular, too

Momo: But does an instrument you can't already play even exist!?

Yuki: Of course ^^

Ryunosuke: If you want to try something unusual, why not the Okinawan sanshin? It's beginner-friendly, and I'd like to see how fast you can pluck its strings!

Yuki: Is that the instrument that's like a shamisen

Iori: String instruments aren't all the same, but you can play the guitar, so maybe it would be easier to tackle something similar.

Ryunosuke: I bet Okinawan traditional clothing would suit you, too... I could tell you how to wear it!

Yuki: I'd like to try that, but nobody would see it on radio

Ryunosuke: Oh yeah, lol

Riku: As far as string instruments go, a violin would suit him, too!

Mitsuki: It's kinda high class, so it would totally suit him!

Kaoru: How elegant..!

Nagi: We already have someone elegant here :-(

Yamato: Doesn't mean we can't have another one (lol)

Momo: Speaking of elegance, a harp would be good for that, too!

Momo: All the girls in the world are gonna fall in love with him~!

Banri: It would fit him so well that it's kind of funny.

Yuki: Even if my face is a perfect match, I can't play a harp at all

Iori: A harp would certainly be picturesque, but it would be difficult to get one into the recording booth...

Tsumugi: There's so many instruments that would suit you, it's difficult to choose just one..! We can discuss this again later.

Tsumugi: Riku-san, you're next.

Riku: Let me do a palm reading on you!

Riku: I was taught how to do it on a show the other day, and it was pretty fun. After that, I found a palm reading app!

Yuki: You're going to read my palm?

Riku: Yes! Send me a picture of your hand, and I'll have a reading ready by your show!

Yuki: Wow. A fortune-telling idol

Tenn: Riku's always been one to get into weird stuff.

Sogo: Its important for idols to have extra skills. It may be just an app, but it might come in useful later.

Gaku: A palm reading app, huh. That sounds interesting.

Riku: I'll send you the URL later!

Tamaki: But it's not even accurate

Tamaki: I checked it out a while back

Riku: Huh!? Of course it's accurate!

Iori: Didn't your reading say "Cautious and a late bloomer. Too shy to look people in the eye", Yotsuba-san?

Yuki: Could that be any less like him?

Riku: That's just the app talking..!

Mitsuki: It's not really Riku's special skill if the app's doing all the work, lol

Yuki: It might also be fun to see how completely inaccurate my results will be

Yamato: Maybe it'll say something like, "You're considerate and a philanthropist" (lol)

Yuki: I am considerate and a philanthropist, though

Riku: You're very nice, Yuki-san!

Momo: This is turning out just like your request for me to do a psychological test, lololol

Tenn: Riku, maybe you should get rid of a few of those apps. You told me your phone was running slowly, and that's probably why

Riku: Nooo!

Tsumugi: There's so many fun apps out there! I know plenty, myself!

Tsumugi: Kujo-san, may we hear your request?

Tenn: Mine is for you to give an acoustic performance.

Tenn: I'd like to hear it, as I'm sure many of your fans would, too.

Sogo: There's something special about hearing an acoustic performance on the radio. I'll have to record it...

Gaku: The broadcast's pretty close to Christmas Eve, so I bet they'd like a Christmas song.

Yuki: Do you have any requests, Tenn-kun?

Tenn: I'll leave the choice to you. I'll be happy to hear anything, whether it's something old or completely new.

Yuki: You say the cutest things ^^

Tsumugi: It'll be a luxury to hear your acoustic performance..!

Yuki: By the way, was there any song you wanted me to do?

Tsumugi: Huh!? Me..!?

Yuki: I'm asking just for reference

Tsumugi: This is just my opinion, but...

Choices/outcomes:

1. As someone mentioned earlier, I think a Christmas song would be nice!

Yuki: It fits Decenmber nicely, and it would definitely set the mood. It'd make the listeners feel special

2. A birthday song, since your birthday is so close!

Yuki: Singing a birthday song for myself? Isn't that a little sad?

3. Why don't you just improvise something?

Yuki: Whatever comes to mind, then. That would feel fun and intimate

Tsumugi: I hope this helps, even a little bit..!

Yuki: Thank you. That helped

Momo: Since it's Tenn's request, it'd be fun if you put how you feel about him into song!

Yuki: How I feel about Tenn-kun...

Yuki: My junior~ Who's always polite and cute~♪

Yuki: But on stage he's also professional and cool~♪

Yuki: He was really happy when I gave him lots of strawberries~♪

Yuki: It made me happy too~♪

Yuki: I want to stuff Tenn-kun full of strawberries~♪

Yuki: Like this?

Momo: That was  great, but I feel like it's lacking something..! I wanna hear about a Tenn only you know..!

Yuki: You're raising the bar pretty high. It's getting me excited

Tenn: Um, you really don't need to go that far.

Tenn: Also, I'd rather not be completely full of strawberries.

Yuki: Even your standoffishness~ Is cute~♪

Tsumugi: As a fan, it'd be very interesting to hear your song about Kujo-san..!

Tsumugi: Nagi-san, you're next!

Nagi: Mine is to show off what you most like about yourself!

Nagi: Japanese people can be very restrained. Why not set an example for them by showing off your best side, Mister Yuki?

Yuki: It's not that I don't like anything about myself, or that I'd have trouble talking about that stuff

Yuki: But if I talked about that, it would make people jealous.

Yuki: Even if I'm just speaking the truth.

Nagi: Mister Yuki... I understand your pain very well. Men envy those of us who are more beautiful than them.

Nagi: But I say: let them envy. Hiding your beauty is a graver sin than displaying it.

Yuki: That feels a lot more impactful, coming from you

Iori: You don't have to only talk about your looks, do you..?

Gaku: Right. If it's something positive about him, couldn't it also be personality-related?

Nagi: OH.

Yuki: I'll think of something.

Tsumugi: I'm really curious to know what part of his face he likes, though..! lol

Tsumugi: Sogo-san, it's time for your request!

Sogo: Right. Mine is to talk about something you pay special mind to while songwriting.

Sogo: You're my senior as both an idol and a songwriter. If you have anything to share on how to tackle making music, I'd be happy to hear it.

Yuki: That's exactly the kind of request I expected from you

Sogo: Ever since this project began, I've know that this is the one thing I'd like to request from you!

Yuki: That long, huh?

Tamaki: You've been sitting on that one for 12 months, So-chan?

Yamato: It's been aged like a fine wine (lol)

Mitsuki: Or a cheese!

Ryunosuke: It must've been really important to you!

Yuki: You could've asked any time we ran into each other.

Sogo: I wouldn't dare..! Your opinion is too important to ask on a random encounter..!

Yuki: It's nothing to get that worked up about

Riku: Sogo-san is frozen in a kneeling position..!

Riku: And on top of the sofa, too!

Sogo: R-Riku-kun, don't tell him...

Riku: 

Gaku: Why would you kneel on a sofa?

Yuki: Are you in the i7 dorms right now?

Yuki: If you want to know that badly, how about I come over right now and tell you?

Sogo: No, no, no! That's not necessary!

Sogo: I'll be quietly praying in my heart that you'll get my request...

Sogo: 

Yuki: I'll answer even if I don't get it

Yuki: Let's go out for a drink sometime.

Sogo: T-thank you..!

Banri: Sogo-kun, you'll want to avoid drinking or he'll get you into trouble

Yuki: That was ages ago

Tenn: Excuse me. May we take a small break?

Tenn: Gaku's phone isn't doing so good

Ryunosuke: It froze suddenly..!

Ryunosuke: Gaku's swinging it up and down!

Kaoru: It's not a TV you can fix by banging on it...

Tenn: Gaku's too impatient

Tsumugi: Alright! I hope his phone fixes itself...

Tsumugi: Let me know when you can continue!

Ryunosuke: Got it! (lol)

[thadelightfulone]

Can We Talk? - Pt. 2

I wanted to get something out since I had a surge of writing energy for my birthday. So, I decided to write a Part 2 to What’s A Valentine. So, if you have not read that yet, go catch up. 

Summary: Dani and Erik have a Non-Valentine’s Day night out. And the aftermath of the confrontation in the lobby.

Danielle and Erik are sitting at their table at a quaint little restaurant that was not crowded due to the holiday. Plates in various stages of completion and a bottle of red wine on the table. It is quiet at the table as the soft music plays around them. Just a comfortable silence between the two, not like when they were younger and always had something to say. This was different, and neither party knew where to start.

Dani is hyper-focused on her glass, watching the wine swirl around so as not to make eye contact with the man in front of her. Her thoughts were swirling around like the wine, but they are too much and overwhelming. She does not even know if she is still in a relationship anymore. Something she was very sure of about two hours ago. And Erik. What could she say about that? Him popping up tonight of all nights and calling her out. She should have punched him. It’s not like she could drop him anymore looking like he does, she would barely move him. She shakes her head, smiling with her face down.

Erik has been watching Dani intently since she put her fork down. She was quiet the whole ride over and staring at her phone, waiting for something from Shaun. He scoffs at the thought of him. The argument he witnessed between the two of them held so much more than her utter dislike for Valentine’s day and his adoration for it. But he is clearly in no position to comment on the state of her relationship after watching her relive her heartbreak at his own hands.

He looks down at his tumbler of whiskey before looking up to see a small smile cross her face. She had a beautiful smile. And he has always had deep feelings for her; but he knew what he wanted to do with his life and because Erik did not know how things would turn out, he did not want to drag her down that road with him.

“Why did you leave?”

“I’m sorry,” Their words overlapping one another. Erik waves to her to proceed.

Dani put her wine down and looked over to him, “Why are you sorry?”

Tracing the rim of his glass, “That I did not handle things better when we were younger.” He watches her as she closes her eyes, clearing her vision of the tears that are right below the surface. “And then when I just left. I thought it would be easier if I didn’t tell you. I had no idea the effect that it would have on you, and for that, I am truly sorry, Danielle.” He reaches over to grab her hand, and she lets him. “I would never hurt you on purpose; you have to know that D.”

Sniffling, “It took me years to figure out, but I know you wouldn’t E. Hell, it’s the reason you actually send me flowers, even though they are not in the typical fashion.” They both share a short laugh as Dani looks down at her hand in his.

“When have you ever known me to do things like they are supposed to be done or whatever?” She dabs at her eyes with her napkin shaking her head, “Exactly.” Signaling for the check, he asks, “Are you ready for your ice cream and horror movies now?”

She perks up at that and gathers her clutch, “Of course, but we need to stop for the ice cream.” Erik signs the check, and they both get up to leave.

—

They walk into the grocery store with a plan. On the way over, they decided to make some sundaes. Erik is holding the basket as they make their way to the down the candy aisle. Danielle skips in front of him, snatching up bags of her fave chocolates. “Snickers, Reese’s Cups, 3 Musketeers, Hershey Kisses,”

Erik snatches the basket away, “Ewww, D. 3 Musketeers and Kisses. Girl, what happened to your taste buds?”

“Shut up, and those are the caramel kisses. You act like what doesn’t get used won’t get eaten on its own.” Pouting, she pulls the basket towards her and drops the bags in.

“You never heard of Milky Ways?”

“I like the fluffy nougat in Musketeers, why are you trying to rain on my parade? You know what, grab your own damn candy then.” She prances away. “I’m heading for toppings; you can get the ice cream.”

Before she makes it to the end of the aisle, Erik pulls her back into him. “My bad,” she crosses her arms and looks away from him. “Can you get some peanut M&Ms for me, please?” He nuzzles her neck, “Pretty please with a cherry on top.”

She slaps his arm away from her and walks back down the aisle, mumbling, “I can’t stand you.”

“You love me.” She flips him the bird as she returns with Milky Ways and Peanut M&Ms for him.

On their way to the toppings, they discuss movie choices. “So, I was thinking classic horror movies like the 1974 version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Scream, and the 1984 version of Nightmare on Elm Street.”

“Whatever you want, I’m game.”

She shoves him. “Come on. You don’t have one pick that you want to add?”

“Dani girl, it’s your night. We are doing what you want.” He reaches over for the 3-pack of sundae topping sauces with Chocolate, Caramel, and Strawberry and throws it in the basket. She stands right in front of the aisle, blocking him. “Seriously?” He scoots her along, and she pops right back into position. Sighing, “Fine. Devil’s Rejects.” He moves her again and grabs some chopped nuts and cherries.

“As in Rob Zombie’s Devil’s Rejects?” Dani pushes her glasses up on her face staring at him like she has never met him before.

He straightens up to look at her, “Yeah. His movies are pretty good. I even enjoyed Strangeland by Dee Snider. Those rock guys are can be very creative.”

“And not just because Robert Englund was in it?”

Erik laughs, “First of all, he wasn’t starring in it like he was in 2001 Maniacs. But it is nice to see the OGs of horror flicks get lil cameos in stuff like that.”

Linking her arm with his, “Mr. Stevens, let me find out you know a lil something about non-mainstream horror.” Erik chuckles as Dani pulls him towards the ice cream freezers.

“There’s a lot you don’t know Ms. George.” He moves to stand behind her with his chin on top of her head, “Pick your poison.”

“You know what I like.” She walks over to the whipped cream and grabs two cans. “It hasn’t changed.”

Erik stands still thinking as she walks back over to him. Moving forward, “You got room for two tubs, or should I get these small boxes?”

“Both gallons will fit,” she tries to keep the smile off her face watching as her best friend grabs for the Neapolitan and Cookies & Cream tubs.

“I can’t believe you still mix this shit together.”

“Aye, I would not have learned this combo if someone didn’t take all the damn vanilla out of the Neapolitan all the time. How do you separate the three greats from each other like that?“ He hands the tubs to her, and they make their way to the register.

He shrugs, “I like vanilla.” He puts all the items up on the conveyor belt. “Anything else you want before we go?” Thinking about it, Dani suddenly takes off.

“Did you find everything ok, Sir?” The young man behind the register asks while ringing up the ice cream.

“Yeah, she just went to grab her chips. We good.” Dani pulls up with 2 bottles of red wine, some Sour Cream & Cheddar Ruffles, Jalapeño Kettle Chips and Flaming Hot Cheetos in a delicate balancing act. Erik grabs the Ruffles from her mouth and the wine, taking a look at the bottle. “Apothic Red Inferno – aged in a whiskey barrel. Is this the closest you will get to drinking whiskey?”

“Yup,” she puts the other bags down, “Hey Charlie, how are you?”

"I’m good, Ms. Danielle. Stocking up so soon, you were in here like two nights ago.” Erik laughs as her face falls. Charlie looks embarrassed, “Sorry.”

“Yes & No, I have an out-of-town guest who likes to eat and drink folks out of home.” She punches Erik hard in the shoulder, only for her hand to recoil in pain.

He leans over and whispers in her ear, “You knew better than to hit me.” She sticks her tongue out at him and reaches into her clutch to pay when Erik bumps her aside and hands his card to Charlie. He grabs her hand and rubs her knuckles while waiting for the receipt.

Dani yanks her hand away and starts to grab a few bags from the end. “Thanks, Charlie.”

Erik collects the rest of the bags and follows her outside. “Thanks.”

The ride back to Dani’s place is silent as the sounds of some Quiet Storm station play in the background. Erik peeks over at her while at a red light. She is definitely in much better spirits after what happened earlier. He is happy that he can be the one to make her smile and laugh again. He wants to be able to enjoy every moment with her and eventually make up for the asshole he was back when he was a teenager.

Erik parks his car under her building and pops the trunk. Dani grabs the flowers from the backseat and walks to the back to take a few bags. Erik grabs a small black bag along with the rest of their goodies.

“Ummm, excuse you. Who said you are spending the night?”

“You aren’t the only one who gets to be comfy while we chill.” He closes the door. “Lead the way, D.”

"Uh huh, yeah ok. Come on; this elevator bypasses the lobby.” They walk past the parking structure entrance to the elevator bank. On the elevator, she hits the button for her floor, “We never finalized our movie watch list.”

“Ladies choice.” He notices the look on her face. “Fine, you pick first and then I will go. Deal?”

The elevator bell dings at her floor and they both exit. Erik follows as she leads the way to her door at the end of the hallway. He takes the bags she had so that she can open the door. Dani turns on some lights and walks into the kitchen. Erik walks in and sets all the bags on the counter. She puts the ice cream into her freezer.

“You can have the bathroom to change. I’ll be back.”

Inside her room, Dani takes a deep breath. This night has turned out better than she could have imagined. It’s just her and her best friend who happens to also be her first love having a great evening. She knows they need to talk about what he saw happen earlier and everything but how. Being with him likes this reminds her of what they could have been, and now just like that she is confused about her feelings. Looking in the mirror after changing into some yoga pants and a crop top with her workout bra, she shakes her head at her runaway train of thoughts. “Enjoy the rest of your ‘Not a Valentine’s’ date night with Erik, Dani girl. There is no need to overthink anything right now.” She takes some deep calming breaths before walking out to the living room.

She finds Erik already changed in a pair of sweatpants and a black tank top showing off his muscular shoulders and lots of keloid scars. She remembers him telling her about his family in Wakanda and his failed attempt at a takeover before becoming a Regional Director to the Outreach Centers on the West Coast. She just never saw the scarring he did to himself, and it only adds more to this man standing in her kitchen lining up the sundae bar.

“Take a picture; it’ll last longer. But this ice cream won’t.” Erik smirks as he caught Dani staring him down.

“You lucky, I am too ready for this sundae party.” Dani walks over bumping Erik as he hands her a big bowl, sliding the ice cream over to her.

Dani’s first sundae contains a little bit of everything they bought except the Milky Ways. Erik snatched up the entire bag and kept them by his side, giving her one or two when he felt like it. They made it through the original Nightmare on Elm Street and a bottle of wine. Now, they were settling down with their second sundae or some chips and candy in Erik’s case and onto his pick, Boo.

“Why do people enjoy tempting fate by going into haunted and abandoned hospitals?” Dani asks through a mouthful of ice cream.

“Hell if I know, but you see how her man’s boy is doing the most trying to scare this chick. If anyone makes it out alive, it better be her.” Erik responds while crunching on some chips.

They both started in different positions in the living room. Erik on the floor under her coffee table while Dani was on the love seat curled into the corner. Then they both were on the floor at the coffee table before Erik stretched his shoulders and Dani moved up behind him to give him a massage as he sat between her legs. As his movie played and they finished eating, he returned the favor by sitting on the couch with her legs on his lap and mindlessly kneading them.

After a quick bathroom break, wine re-up and short clean-up of the kitchen, they are back in the living room watching Dani’s second pick of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Dani is curled into Erik’s side with her favorite fleece blanket over her. Erik has his arm wrapped around her, playing with her curls as she tries to keep her eyes open. He stretches out along the couch pulling her along with him and pulls the blanket up over the both of them. He falls asleep to the sound of her soft snores.

—

The sound of a phone buzzing along the coffee table wakes Erik up from his sleep. He looks to see Dani’s phone screen showing a picture of Shaun. Erik groans and stretches out a bit careful of Danielle who is laying in front of him. Pulling her back, he takes the moment to enjoy the feel of her in his arms and watches her as she sleeps. The buzzing of the phone starts up again and Dani squirms in his arms.

“Morning Sunshine.” He looks down on her as she blinks herself awake.

“Hey. Did we really fall asleep out here?” She quickly moves to an upright position, leaving the comfortable warmth of his arms.

“Yeah, you didn’t make it past the family meeting in Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” He sits up and grabs the blanket before it falls. “I think someone has been trying to reach you. I’ll give you some space.”

Dani looks over to her phone still ringing on the coffee table. She looks over at Erik and grabs the phone, mouthing “Thanks,” before answering. “Hey Shaun, what’s up?”

Erik takes his bag back into the bathroom, washing his face, brushing his teeth, and throwing on his hoodie. He grabs his phone and reschedules his flight back to Oakland for a week later. Erik knows he needs to have a serious sit down with Danielle before he returns home. So, this will buy him some time, and he can continue to work out of the LA office.  

“Danielle, we need to talk. When can I see you next?” Shaun gets straight to the point.

“I am free for lunch tomorrow if that works for you.” Dani looks over at the blue screen of her TV and grabs the remote to turn it off.

“Yeah, I can do that. The usual spot close to your office around 12:30pm?”

“Sounds good. I will see you there.”

“Ok, see you then. Bye Dani.” Shaun hangs up as Dani looks at the phone. No ‘I love you’ or his customary nickname goodbye.

She nods her head, “I guess I will find out where we stand tomorrow.” She locks her phone and sets it down as soon as she hears the bathroom door open. Erik walks back into the living room with his keys in hand. “Leaving so soon?”

“Yeah, I should probably head out. I have a few meetings this afternoon.” Dani walks over to him and wraps her arms around his waist in a big hug. He hugs her back and leans over kissing her forehead. “I had fun last night.”

Muffled into his chest, “Me, too E. It was like when we were younger.” She pulls away and looks up at him. “Will I see you before you leave?”

“Yeah, we can still do lunch or something. I will be in town for another week.” They walk to her front door, and she opens it for him.

“Ok, I will text you when I am free.” She leans against the door frame.

“See you Dani girl.” Erik walks out and looks back at her smiling.

Dani waves at him. “Bye E.”

— The Next Day —

Dani arrives at the restaurant early only to see Shaun already seated at a table. Inhaling deeply, she walks back to him.

Shaun stands up and pulls out her chair. “Hi Dani.” He gives her a quick peck on the lips.

“Hey.” Dani sits down as Shaun makes his way to his chair. The waiter comes by to take their drink order. “I’ll have an iced tea, please.

“Just water for me, thanks.” The waiter leaves, and Shaun looks at Danielle. “So, where should we start?”

“With you. How was last night?” Another server drops by with their drinks. Dani starts to stir the straw in her tea.

“It was great! Mom enjoyed her birthday party as usual and the anniversary celebration went off without a hitch. Well, except that my parents wanted to know why you weren’t there.”

“What did you tell them?”

Shaun takes a sip of his water before responding, “I told them that something came up and you decided to stay in for the night. They hope you are feeling better now.”

Dani nearly choked on her tea, “Yeah, I’m good. You can pass that on.” Shaun waves away the waiter who wanted to come back and take their orders.

“Alright, enough. Tell me how you really feel Shaun.” She takes a nice healthy gulp of her tea before putting her hands in front of her on the table.

“Fine. I am really upset that I had to find out that you do not like Valentine’s Day that way.” He looks around as his voice rose a bit. “Four years Danielle. That’s how long we have been together, and you couldn’t tell me this before?”

“I know, I just…” she sniffs. “I don’t like to talk about it or the why.”

“And that’s another thing. You never got over him.” Dani opens her mouth to speak. “No, please let me get this out before I lose my nerve.” He takes a drink of water, setting it back down, he reaches for her hands. “Danielle, I love you with everything in me. But what happened the other night, I can’t get over that. You couldn’t even look at me when you said that you were happy with me. You were a wreck recounting the story of how he broke your heart. And yet, you were standing there with his flowers in your hand. Were you pissed? Sure, but not enough to throw them at him. Yeah, you cussed and fussed a little bit but did you turn him away? No.”

Dani blinks back her tears. This is it. This is the end of her relationship. She was happy with Shaun, but lately, something felt off, and she could never put her finger on it. Then Erik popped up, and she felt like the 15-year-old laying her heart out to her best friend only for him to crack it and then leave her to heal without really talking it out. Why does Shaun have to make sense now?

“Shaun, I – “

“You don’t need to explain anything to me, Dani. As much as I want to be the man to make you happy and spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t stand by and wait for the day you realize that you never stopped loving him and leave me.” Shaun stands up and pulls Dani into a hug. Cradling her neck, he continues, “I wish you the best Danielle, in life and love. I hope you find what you deserve. I just don’t think it’s with me.“ He pulls back and kisses both of her hands before walking away.

Dani sits back down at the table. The waiter returns, and she orders a Jamison & Ginger Ale. Then leans back and reflects on what Shaun said. Her phone starts ringing as she sees Erik’s number pop up on the screen. She silences it and closes her eyes as her tears slowly fall to the table.

— 2 Days Later —

Danielle is at work trying to listen to her coworker, Rosio, tell her the latest story about her son’s new addiction. He is the sweetest thing, but Dani, just could not keep herself in the present or to act like she cares. It has been two days since Shaun broke things off with her and she has been actively dodging Erik’s calls and texts, too.

Rosio walks over to Dani, “Girl, you have been mopey lately. Drinks after work and I’m not taking no for an answer.” She picks her up, “Now, come on. We’re gonna be late for this meeting.”

It is the end of the workday, and Rosio stands by the corner of Dani’s desk. “Alright, so where are we going?”

"The Mexican spot by my place.” Dani grabs her bag, and they walk to the front closing the office.

“Sure, I’ll follow you.” Rosio heads towards her car, and they pull off.

Over tequila shots, strawberry margaritas and enchiladas, Dani spills to Rosio everything that happened over the last week.  

“Dani, I can’t believe you have been holding this in for so long. V-Day was last week, and you took your normal day off afterward, so I didn’t think anything of it.”

“Yeah, well, my relationship did go bust that day in typical Danielle fashion.” Taking another shot, “Only I can manage to have relationships end on the ‘so-called’ day of love.”

“Oh, shut up. It wasn’t all that bad if you hung out with Erik all night.” Rosio takes a sip of her margarita, “He did kind of give you the best Valentine’s Day date ever. Dinner, ice cream and horror movies. It’s like he knows you. Oh wait, he does.”

Shoving Rosio, Dani laughs for the first time in two days. “Thank you. I really did need this tonight.”

“Good, because I hate seeing you all sad and depressed like someone killed your puppy.”

“Really, Rosio? That is such a horrible analogy.“ Dani snickers as she sips her drink.

“Well, you didn’t have to look at you the last few days, so yeah.” Grabbing a few chips, “So, have you talked to your bestie since that night?”

Dani looks down and away, “No, I keep sending him to voicemail or not reading his texts. We were supposed to get together for lunch before he leaves, but I just can’t do it.”

“And why not? That’s your friend.”

"I don’t know what to say or how to act. Shaun was right; I still do care about him a lot and probably never stopped.”

“So, you can tell him that again or forever hold your peace, but I thought you were still going to be his friend regardless.”

Slurping up the rest of her drink, Dani looks at Rosio. “I don’t know if I can anymore.”

“Then he deserves to hear you say that before you end your friendship or whatever. You owe him that much.” Rosio bats away Dani’s hand as she reaches for the check. “I invited you; this is on me.”

Danielle and Rosio part ways outside of the restaurant, “Now, do yourself a favor and call that man back. You two need to talk.”

“I am not ready to have another talk.” Rosio shakes her head as she walks off.

Dani drives back to her place and parks. She looks at the 20-some odd unread texts messages from Erik on her phone. Rosio is right. He is about to head back to Oakland soon and this needs to happen in person.

Arriving at her apartment, she completes her nighttime routine and grabs her phone to finally give him a call. As she settles onto her bed, her doorbell rings. She looks at the time, “Who would be dropping by my place after 10pm?” Walking to the front door, she takes a look at the security screen to the right. “Erik?” She opens the doors, and there he is in his work suit, no tie and a tub of Neapolitan ice cream in hand.

“Ready to talk?”

A/N: There will be a third part to end this mini series. I just tagged the people who asked about a Part 2. 

Say Something

@maddiestundentwritergaines @youreadthatright @sarcastic-sunshines @alexundefined @kissmyafropuff @chaneajoyyy @fonville-designs

[jewishaxelwalker]

On the Radio

When his dad died, Owen moved from Gotham to Keystone. It's been an adjustment. 

(also available on AO3)

It took Owen longer than he thought it would to remember that he was, in fact, no longer living on the east coast.

Keystone and Gotham both had a gritty quality to them, but while Gotham had the kind of grit that made a person afraid to walk around alone at night, Keystone’s was more of an all-American, grease under your fingernails kind of grit. The inhabitants of Keystone were also much friendlier than Gothamites, though it, sadly, didn’t mean that they were less on their guard when it came to crime. A solid six decades of dealing with supervillains would desensitize any city. It got colder earlier too, chilly winds forcing their way up his coat sleeves as soon as late September. But the biggest change he had to get used to?

All the goddamn country music.

They were in heavy traffic, something else Gotham didn’t really have, on the way back from picking up dinner for everyone, and Owen was fiddling around with the radio in Axel’s car.

“Yo Axel, you got three country stations on your presets.”

Axel talked and dressed like a punk, when he was around people he wanted to intimidate. His car was tricked out, both literally and metaphorically, within an inch of its life. And yet, three of the six preset music stations on his stereo still clicked over to country music when pressed.

Axel’s mouth pressed into a confused line. “So? Those are the good three. You think I’m gonna have 102.2 or 807SPURS on there?”

“The uh. The good three?” Axel rolled his eyes, but sort of fondly. As if he was just remembering that Owen was from a whole other side of the continent.

“Yeah. There are twelve stations that play country, those are the good three. 999 has all the older stuff that grandmas like, y’know, from the 40s and 50s, 101.5 has a more southern rock vibe to it, and 105.9 plays newer stuff, from the 90s and up.”

Without replying, Owen went and checked the other presets. Two were pop stations, one was a hip hop station. But three were still... “Do you keep ‘em because of Len or something?” Now Axel seemed like he was getting annoyed.

“No? Is it really that hard to believe that I like country music?”

“Well, I mean, you look like,” Owen gestured to him best he was able, arms still full of takeout from their food run, and Axel snorted.

“Owen, if we’re officially using stereotypes against each other, what exit did you live off of?” Oh, that wasn’t cool. You generally weren’t supposed to bring up that Gotham was technically in New Jersey. “People around here listen to country a lot. I grew up listening to country. I mean, I expanded my taste pretty early, but still. And if you don’t wanna listen to the radio...” He held up an AUX cable. Owen grabbed for it gratefully, before he realized he’d forgotten his phone.

“Hey, gimme your phone.” Axel twitched in surprise, hand flying to his pocket protectively. “Ax, come on. Nothing good is on the radio and we still have at least a half hour in this traffic, gimme your phone.”

There were a few beats of silence, punctuated by a horn in the distance.

“Okay...but you need to promise you’re not gonna make fun of me.” Surprisingly, Axel actually sounded a bit self-conscious. Cute. Owen sighed.

“Just gimme the phone.” Traffic crawled as he scrolled through Axel’s music library, nose wrinkling. He didn’t recognize most of these artists! Oh that explained it, he was in the Last Played section. Maybe if he went in alphabetical order...

“Dude, you like ABBA?!”

“Get out of my car!”

[leoinjapan]

~ the end / ～終わり

right now i am tucked into bed back in my little hometown in torquay, thousands of miles from tokyo. this will be my last post on this blog (for now.) enjoy!

on the 21st july i went to kitasenju with friends, for my first hanabi taikai (fireworks show), which are very popular in the summer months. this show was so jampacked there was so space for the kind of little festival that usually goes on at these events, but it was still a great show with some stunning displays. it’s always nice to hang with friends!

i also went to fuji-q highland with friends, which is a very famous rollercoaster park near mt fuji. it has a rollercoaster with the steepest incline drop in the world. however, my favourite ride was called eejanaika (roughly translated by me as “isn’t that a bit whaaaat?”) which you definitely might utter upon seeing it. here is a video:

the park also has a section for my favourite anime ever called evangelion world! it had rough designs to see, and also large models and a projection show as well as recreations of the setting which were great to walk around

i also went to team borderless exhibition at the mori building in odaiba, which was full of digital art. it was a very surreal and beautiful experience that i will remember for a long time.

now for the trip to korea. strap in because this may take a while, i will try to be concise!

me and my friend arrived in seoul very early, and i don’t think i slept, so it was due to be an exhausting day. we thought we could buy a sim or portable wifi when we got there, but we found it was pretty expensive and so we decided just to rely on wifi we found on our way... which was pretty stressful but also a bit of an adventure.

we went on a bus to gangnam because we weren’t sure where to go at first. on the bus, a man who spoke fluent english gave us some suggestions where to go. he was extremely kind and i’m seriously grateful to him for putting us at ease when we had no knowledge of the place or the language!

gangnam is mainly just shops, which we weren’t that interested in at that moment, so we headed instead to our hotel to drop off our bags. i had thought that seoul and tokyo would be kind of similar, but they really aren’t. in seoul, people look at you a lot more, and are a bit more blunt (and sometimes rude-) but then out of nowhere they will turn into the kindest and most generous people you can meet.

me and my friend walked down insadong, a cute street with lots of crafts shops and stuff near our hotel. i walked into a store with bts merch because, well, bts, and the owner made a very enthusiastic attempt at english with me. i could barely read hangul (korean alphabet) at the time but he went through the map and made me read out all the important places on the map (my reading skills definitely improved under pressure). many people i met in korea were like this, going straight up to me and initiating a conversation with no pretenses, asking me about britain and how to pronounce english swear words. the vibe was completely different from tokyo.

in the evening me and my friend went to dongdaemun, famous for its fashion and music. i didn’t buy any clothes but i did have an amazing bowl of sulbing (shaved ice) with matcha, mochi and red bean. one of the best desserts i’ve had in my life!

near our hotel is one of seoul’s most popular palaces, gyeongbokgung. me and a friend paid to rent hanbok (korea’s national dress) so we could enter the palace for free and see the changing of the guard.

the palace was beautiful, with similar architecture to japan but with much more vibrant, pastel-like colours.

here you can see me in the hanbok passing through the gay initiation rainbow arch before i became a fully fledged gay. jk, we just found a random temple near our hotel that was really beautiful

i got heat exhaustion from walking around in 35C heat in the hanbok, but i recovered in time to go to itaewon in the evening where we went to a korean barbeque. unfortunately i could not afford the korean premium beef, but the beef i had was very good. after we found the street full of gay bars. we were called into a bar by a very flamboyant man, but it became clear no one could speak english except the bartender, who was busy but i still got to have a decent chat with. it was nice just to have a glimpse of the scene.

the next day we went to the national museum of korea. i always love a good museum, but i particularly loved the buddhist art and statues, since it’s a personal interest of mine! korea has such a complex history that i could not absorb it all going through the museum; i would love to study it in more detail.

afterwards we went to hongdae, the student district, which is full of cheap but trendy clothes. i got some cute earrings. i had a great drink at the coffee bean and tea leaf cafe. then we had fried chicken and beer at bbq, which is not a bbq, but a famous fried chicken place in korea. it was the best fried chicken i’ve ever had, the batter was made with olive oil and was to die for!

we barely had time but we rushed to seoul tower, which was only open for a little while longer. we went up to the top and had a brilliant view of the city lit up at night.

the next day we caught the bus to busan, the second largest city in south korea. the bus was pretty cheap actually, and comfy. if seoul was a bit grittier than tokyo, busan was even more so; it’s not so clean and the people side eye you a bit more. (some even refused to sit near us!) we didn’t have much time there but we headed to the hotel first to drop off our stuff, and then went to gamcheon cultural village, about an hour from the hotel by metro.

gamcheon is a village full of beautiful pastel houses and arts, crafts and murals. though it is still a residential area and some parts are off limits, there is a thriving tourism here. the residents were very friendly (though i had the feeling they were laughing at our tourist ways.)

i could have spent longer there, but it was quite a hike to get there and we had somewhere else we wanted to go before sundown: haedong yonggungsa, a buddhist temple at the other end of busan. on the train we went. it was a bit of trouble to get there by bus, but a friendly stranger helped us find the way. i am so glad we decided to go because it is the most beautiful temple i have seen so far.

the temple is built into this cliff above the sea. the sound of the crashing waves is supposed to calm and stimulate the mind when meditating. i did a bit of meditating myself on the rocks and it was a wonderful experience. seeing beautiful structures like this puts me at such ease with the world.

that night we went to the beach and just walked around on the sand, listening to the waves and watching the bright lights of the city’s entertainment district. we found a restaurant and i had korean beef and avacado rice with soju (god that stuff tastes bad straight.) my friend got very drunk.

at the hotel we had a jacuzzi, so i got in it for a while before going to sleep. the next morning we had no time to do anything but get to the coach station ready for our bus back to seoul.

once we got back to seoul we were planning to look around a bit more, but got an email from our flight company saying our flight was cancelled due to typhoon. we wanted to see if we could change to an earlier flight so we rushed to the airport, but nope, they were all cancelled. we would have to wait in the airport overnight for a flight the next day. i was gutted because i wanted to do some things in tokyo before i went back to the uk the day after, but now i had no time.

one silver lining of this was that i got to go into a jimjilbang, a korean spa, at the airport. it was pretty cheap for the service we got for a few hours. i was a bit anxious about going into the mens only baths, being a trans man, but in the end nobody cared, or at worst just looked at me a bit longer than usual. that might have just been because i was white though

you go into the changing area, strip and walk into the baths. i couldn’t see anything without my glasses so that helped my anxiety a bit. i went into the shower and showered off (which was great since i had been very stressed and tired.) i didn’t get in the bath but used all of the skin and hair products i could get my hands on, before going into the sleeping area in the pyjamas provided. the sleeping area is just full of mats and floor recliners. i got a couple hours kip before i went to see my friend off for her flight, then i had mine a few hours later.

packing and clearing out my room on the last day was very stressful, and i had to extend my deadline for moving out, but i eventually did it. i mailed my health insurance card back to the government and then headed to the airport, which was a very sweaty and exhausting journey, but not as exhausting as navigating the crappy british train system when i got back. shout out to my bestie addie for taking the stuff i couldn’t fit in my suitcase back with her!

it’s hard to summarize what an amazing year this has been for me. i learned so much about japan and its surrounding countries, about people, about the world, and about myself. to be in a place where i was thousands of miles from everyone i know was exciting and freeing. i met some of the most amazing people on the planet and grew so much in confidence and maturity. at the beginning of the year i had been afraid i would be disappointed by the experience, that going to the place i always dreamed to go would end up being tiring and i had been just romanticizing the place too much. however, though it was different to how i imagined in many ways, it was breathtaking to see and learn things i had always dreamed of. to look around and realize you have achieved your dreams is a very surreal feeling. somehow it feels like only the beginning.

thank you for sticking with me. i hope i can write one of these blogs again one day!

[stayextrafrosty]

Clarity

Request: Hey can you do a joe trohman x female reader where it’s like a charmed au and it’s a piper/Leo type of deal. If you don’t watch charmed it’s like a forbidden love between a guardian angel and a witch.

I really hope I did this idea justice. It’s so cute! (Please keep in mind I have never seen this show and only did a little bit of research so it’s mostly my own take on the idea.)

Part 1 (I’ll get to part two as soon as possible)

Masterlist

Warning: some cursing but nothing too bad

Words: 6508

-

I stared at the little candle intently. I couldn’t quite piece together why this was such a problem for me. I just needed it to light. One little flame. It’s not hard.

I closed my eyes and concentrated. I tried to imagine the warmth. The soft glow. A little plume of smoke rising from the flame. I could feel it. The burning in my fingertips. I peeked through my eyelid and threw my arms up in frustration.

“Are you fucking serious? Not even a little spark?” I let my head fall onto the table repeatedly. I was so useless. Fire was a specialty of my coven and I couldn’t even light one measly candle. I’m beginning to think I’m adopted.

I picked up the candle and slumped back to my room. Didn’t want my mother to see me failing. She would surely scold me. I set the candle back in its proper spot on my nightstand. I stared at the various pictures of my friends. My mother didn’t like that I hung out with humans but she couldn’t do anything about it.

I just wanted to finish my last year of high school then move out and never have to think about this witch stuff again. I would meet a nice guy who would be perfect for me. And finally, things would go right.

-

I rushed through the school, trying to get out before all the busses left. I agreed to meet up with Maddie after class but of course she was running late. I stood by my car tapping my foot, watching as the busses filled with students. I glanced at my phone, seeing Maddie’s message to me.

Sorry! Had to talk to my teacher about a grade.

I rolled my eyes and sighed as the busses started to pull out. I saw her tiny form running towards me. I couldn’t help but laugh as she struggled to carry a backpack that was almost her size.

“I’ve told you before to take it easy on yourself with classes,” I said as she stopped in front of me, panting.

“Can’t let up on classes if I want scholarships. You’re lucky you get to take over a family business.” The small shop my coven owned was mainly for other witches who were passing through the area. But of course, humans walk through and pick up random charms simply because it’s trendy.

“You act like it’s something I want to do. I would much rather travel and meet people.” Maddie climbed into the passenger side of the car.

“You’re such a romantic, (Y/N).”

“And even that isn’t helping my love life. So, I may as well experience things on my own.”

I turned on the radio in to car to the local rock station. They seemed to be running a throwback marathon of alternative music from the early and mid-2000s. I was unseasonably warm, even for California. So, we rolled the windows down and blasted the classics.

We pulled into the Starbucks parking lot, still managing to get a spot before the rest of the high schoolers appeared. We grabbed our backpacks and shuffled inside behind an older couple who were complaining about “kids these days.”

Maddie and I shared a look. Wonder what they aren’t trying to understand this time. Both of us had our fair share of older people looking down on us just for being young. It was super common in my coven. I was one of the youngest. Once you hit your high school years, you’re expected to devote all your time to magic.

I guess I kind of understood. I thought back to my inability to light a candle. My mother said magic was connected to strong emotions but I’ve been beyond pissed and it still wouldn’t work. Fingers snapped in front of my face and I jumped.

“Welcome back to the land of the living. What were you thinking about this time?”  Maddie raised an eyebrow at me. I shook my head and smiled.

“I don’t know to be honest. Just all the expectations that older people have for us I guess. Hope they’re prepared for disappointment.” Maddie chuckled as we moved up to the counter.

We had our drinks in hand and started toward the table we saw earlier only to find a group of kids from our school sitting there. They were some of the so called “popular people.” I noticed Maddie’s bag moved to the middle of the floor nearby. I groaned at her quietly and she rolled her eyes at them. They laughed as we walked up to them.

“Hey, we were sitting there. I can tell you saw the bag.” The head girl scoffed. Ella.

“So? You don’t own this spot.” The table laughed and the guy sitting next to her wrapped his arm around her shoulder. I couldn’t remember his name.

“Maybe, but it’s really rude to move someone’s stuff.” I didn’t want to back down. Ella and her little group walked all over a lot of people. It was weird how accurately she fit the stereotype of the head cheerleader.

“Oh, save it for someone who cares. Why not just go back to your witchy little shop and sell rocks?” I clenched my fists. She came in with her friends a couple weeks ago while I was working. They made fun of everything we had and completely wrecked a display of crystals we had. I told my mom we should repurify them. She scolded me for being rude.

“Let’s just go (Y/N). They ruined the atmosphere anyway.” I nodded and we turned to the door.

“If you need a table you can take this one. I’m leaving.” We turned toward the voice. A tall guy with short, curly brown hair and the most stunning blue eyes I had ever seen smiled gently at us. “Of course, I don’t blame you if you want to leave after interacting with that bitch.”

Maddie snorted and tried to stifle her laugh. I heard Ella say something from behind me but I just smiled at the guy. This couldn’t be real, right?

“Yea. But we appreciate the concern.” He wore a plain black t-shirt with some khaki jeans and black converse. He might as well be an angel. Certainly looked like one.

“Don’t ignore me. It’s incredibly rude to call a girl a bitch. Not to mention sexist.” The guy looked over my shoulder with a bored look on his face.

“It’s not any ruder than you were to her. You moved their bags into the middle of the floor where someone could have tripped on them. Don’t fling the word ‘sexist’ around when someone points out something shitty you did.” I chuckled at the stunned silence.

“Well we’re going to head out. Let’s go (Y/N).” I agreed and we headed out, the guy following us out.

“Thank you…” I trailed off, not knowing his name.

“Joe. And forgive me for eavesdropping but did I hear that you work for a place for witches?” A blush rose to my face.

“It’s a family business. Not very interesting. I never really believed in that stuff, ya know?” I pushed a small rock around with my foot. I hope he wasn’t one of those hipsters just looking to visit all these shops.

“Well I think it’s interesting. Maybe I’ll stop by sometime.”

“Let me guess, you just want to see her again?” Maddie crossed her arms and stepped in front of me slightly. Joe smiled, laughing.

“Yea. Something like that.” I looked away from him, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. Then he waved and headed to his car.

“Don’t you dare tell him anything. That’s how you get stalkers.” I rolled my eyes at Maddie.

“I don’t think he’s that kind of guy. And the likelihood of ever seeing him again is super low. Just let me pretend he’s my guardian angel or something.”

-

One Week later

I was sweeping around the shop because of the lack of customers. Business had been slowing down. We might have been mildly annoyed at regular humans coming in and buying our stuff but the extra sales certainly helped. We still had rent like every other business.

“(Y/N), darling. Have you been practicing your magic at all while we don’t have customers?” My mother stood at the bottom of the stairs to our apartment.

“Uh, no. What if a normal person comes in and sees it?” She sighed and shook her head.

“Just pull out a tea light and work with that. From what I’ve seen, you still haven’t been able to light it. I’m not too worried about a human seeing it.” I gripped the broom and nodded. She made her way back upstairs.

“Ouch. That was harsh. She always like that?” I took a breath and turned toward the voice. Witches tended to be quiet when they entered another witches store. It was a respect thing. I almost jumped at the familiar face that greeted me.

“Joe! Uh, sorry. My mom is always talking nonsense.” I chuckled nervously. He smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Didn’t sound like nonsense. Seemed rather clear. So, you need some help with your magic. What witch doesn’t at some point.” I raised an eyebrow at him. He knew? About Witches?

“How do you—”

“I was sent by the Higher Powers to look after you. Though I’m not quite sure why.” I blinked.

“Wait. So, you’re an actual guardian angel?” He nodded. I can’t believe my stupid joke was accurate. My mother appeared at my side. I jumped when she spoke.

“So, Joseph. They never told you why they were sending you? And you didn’t think to ask?” I stared at my mom wide eyed. She was the one who told me you shouldn’t speak to the Higher Powers and their angels rudely.

“I’m sorry ma’am but we don’t question our duties. We keep the peace.” He was polite but the smile directed at my mother was less than friendly. I shivered at the tension.

“And you’re suggesting that my daughter is somehow a threat to that peace.” I saw his jaw clench. He glanced at me.

“If you want to know more information, you’ll have to inquire from the Higher Powers yourself. I told you what I know.” His way of speaking was so different now. I suppose even the angels have to adapt.

“Leave my shop and stay away from my daughter.” It was like he vanished. There one moment and gone the next. I looked to my mother, confused.

“What just happened?” Her clenched jaw and grip on my arm didn’t let up.

“He won’t listen to me. If you see him, just leave. Don’t trust an angel. They always know their assignments. They just refuse to tell you. Your grandmother was sent a ‘Guardian angel.’ Then she disappeared. The Higher Powers thought she was going rogue. Teaching magic to humans. Their claims are baseless.”

Joe didn’t really seem like that kind of person but I trusted my mom. As much as she frustrated me, I trusted her.

-

Another few days without incident. I haven’t seen Joe since then but I was always looking over my shoulder. Maddie even took notice.

“What’s got you so fidgety?” She bit into her carrot as she stared at me.

“It’s nothing. I guess just a sense that someone’s watching me,” I said.

“Maybe you’re not wrong. Psychology does say that we can tell when someone is looking at us. But it’s a school cafeteria. The worst thing here is some gross boys high on their testosterone.” I laughed and my shoulders relaxed. She was right. I was safe inside the school.

It killed me not being able to tell her about the whole guardian angel thing. About how the guy that helped us was trying to abduct me. How I was somehow a danger to the peace and balance of the earth.

“So, are we still going to the library after school today? I need your help with my religion project.” I nodded.

“Yea. Still don’t know why you think I would be any help.”

“I told you! I’m doing my project on Wiccans! You know all about that. Isn’t your mom one?” It’s what I told her. But I wasn’t too familiar with the practices themselves. I sighed. I’ll have to do some research on the subject in my other classes.

-

The library was loud, filled with kids doing their after-school activities. We pushed slowly through the waist high see of children. I tried to keep a smile on my face even though none of them looked where they were going and I almost tripped on a few of them.

“Hurry. Get upstairs before we drown in children.” Maddie laughed and we stumbled our way to the stairs.

We chatted leisurely up the stairs. I had walked up these a thousand times. I didn’t need to pay attention. We were nearly at the top when I noticed a guy standing there, smiling at me. Joe. I felt my heart skip. My toe caught on the step but when I tried to steady myself, I was falling backwards.

I yelped and squeezed my eyes shut. I wasn’t falling for long. A pair of strong arms wrapped around me. I looked up into his blue eyes and found myself entranced. It was like he had the abilities of a demon. Maddie clearing her throat brought me back to reality.

“Um, thanks. I appreciate it.” I turned from him and hurried up the stair, grabbing my friends arm along the way.

There was no way to explain what she just saw. He was behind me almost instantly when he was just ten feet away at the top of the stairs.

“I’m mildly insulted that you’re pretending to not recognize me.” So, he was following me now. “I just need to talk to you for a second.” Maddie yanked me to a stop before turning to face the angel.

“Look. She clearly wants nothing to do with you. Get lost.” For someone so short, she was certainly intimidating.

“I admire your willingness to protect her but I need you to leave us for a bit.” He smiled at her and then her eyes went blank. She nodded and started toward a table. The power of suggestion. I clenched my fists as he made his way toward me.

“Leave her out of this. I’m not afraid to fight you.” He closed the distance between us, a slight frown replacing his gentle smile.

“Look. Whatever your mom told you, it’s wrong. I’m not here to hurt you.” I glanced down at his human attire. White tee, black jeans and the same shoes. But now that I knew what he was, it all looked off.

“But you won’t tell my why you’re here. So, what reason do I have to trust you?” He sighed and scratched his head.

“I told you. They didn’t tell me why I needed to watch you. They just sent me.”

“Ok so tell me about your abilities. Obviously, suggestion is one. Entrancement another.” He rose an eyebrow.

“That’s an ability only held by demons.” Silence. The heat rushed to my face. God, I was so stupid.

“Whatever! Point is, I don’t know anything about you and you won’t tell me.” He chuckled slightly.

“You only just asked me now.”

“What and you’re going to tell me?”

“Sure.” I wasn’t expecting that answer. I placed my hands on my hips.

“Fine. I’ll hear you out. Just not right now. I’m busy.”

“We should probably do these introductions sooner rather than later. So, you can stop avoiding me.” I rolled my eyes and turned away from him. Well now I just wanted to avoid him out of embarrassment. I know demons are the only beings with entrancement. I can’t believe I said that to him. I looked over my shoulder but he was gone. I ignored the sinking feeling in my chest. I found Maddie at one of the tables, shaking her head.

“Ok you need to explain what just happened. One minute I was standing up for you, the next I’m over here. And what did that guy do? It was like he teleported or something to catch you.” I sighed and sat down across from her. I didn’t have the energy to lie to her anymore.

“There’s something you need to know.” She nodded and closed her book.

“Alright.”

“Well it starts with the fact that I’m a witch.”

-

Maddie took the information surprisingly well. Her only real concern was how I was supposed to help her with the project. I told her to do research like she was supposed to. I told her pretty much everything. Including the stuff about Joe.

No one could know that I told her this. I would be stripped of my magic for sure. I told her to never mention it to my mom and she understood.

It’s been a few days since then. Now I sit in the shop alone. Another slow day. We seem to be getting a lot of those. I wonder what was wrong. My paranoia started to kick in again and I sighed. I wondered where he was going to pop up this time.

Joe had this feeling. He always watched me before showing up. Sometimes he didn’t say anything but he always made sure I saw him. The feeling was almost familiar now. Comforting to know he was there.

“You know you don’t have to just watch. Not like there’s anyone here anyway.” I flipped a page in my history book. The counter creaked as he leaned on it.

“So, you can already tell when I’m around. Your senses are incredibly refined.” I raised an eyebrow and looked up at him.

“Thanks, I think?” He shrugged. “You just aren’t exactly subtle. I can feel you watching me. You angels have an extremely noticeable presence.”

“I don’t know how because I block it from witches. You seem to be the only one I can’t sneak up on.”

I scoffed. Pretty words from a pretty person. I had to remind myself regularly that he was an angel who wouldn’t tell me his reason for being here. I had to ignore the fluttering my heart did whenever he was around.

“Aw, so I’m special. How sweet of you to say. Is that why you’re watching me?”

“My answer is still the same. I don’t know why they sent me to watch you.” We sat there in silence for a few minutes. I let my history book fall shut and watched as Joe wandered around the store.

“You know, I think you’re the reason the store has been so empty. You give off this aura. Very scary.” He wandered back to the counter to stand in front of me.

“Again, you seem to be the only person who can tell.” My eyes drifted away from his and down the rest of his features. He was so relaxed all the time. “Can I help you with something?” I shook myself out of my trance.

“No, why,” I huffed?

“Well you like to space out when looking at me.”

“I do not!” He smirked slightly. He had to be a demon. I wouldn’t except any other explanation. He poked the space between my eyebrows.

“If you frown too much, you’ll get lines.” I rolled my eyes and smacked his hand away. He grabbed my arm. “See now look what you’ve done.” I sighed.

“Just let go of me.”

“If I don’t?” I stopped.

“Excuse me?”

“What’ll you do if I don’t? I’ve never seen you use magic before.” His voice was curious. Not intended to be mean or threatening.

“Because I don’t like using it on other people,” I bluffed. I was no good at magic. He knew that much but didn’t need to know I couldn’t do it at all.

“Well then I guess we’re just going to stay like this until you get over that fear.”

“What? You can’t just hold me hostage. What if someone comes in?”

“Better figure it out quickly then.”

Shit. He was testing me. He had his suspicions and needed them confirmed. I had to do something. Make up some lie. Tell him my mom has a charm on the shop so she’ll know if I use magic during business hours.

“I’m just not feeling up to it right now. I’m exhausted. I have you to deal with in addition to school.” He looked up at the ceiling, weighing his options.

“It should be easy. Your family is well known for being strong.” I clenched my teeth. Just give up already damnit!

“I’m pretty sure this qualifies as harassment.” I tried tugging my arm away again. A slight smile graced his face and he released my arm.

“You can’t do magic can you.” I scoffed and turned away from him. Fuck. I sighed. He knew now and all I could do was let him assume. “It’s not like it’s something to be ashamed of. So, you haven’t tapped into your source of power.”

I ran a hand through my hair. He wouldn’t understand the pressure of being in a powerful family. I’m a failure in their eyes. I picked up a small tea light and set it in front of him between us.

“You wouldn’t understand,” I mumbled.

I concentrated on the wick of the candle. My eyes drifted shut as I tried to access my magic. I cupped my hands around the little tea light. We were silent for a couple moments. I could feel the warmth against my palms. I wanted to peak but I knew there wasn’t anything there.

The was a light pressure on the back of my hands and I jumped slightly. I opened my eyes and looked down at Joe’s hands resting on mine. A blush rose to my face as I looked up at him. His eyes so blue I could drown in them.

“You’ll get it eventually. You’ll be stronger than any of them.” My eyebrows drew together. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to cheer me up or if he actually knew something. My eyes drifted down to the gentle smile on his lips.

“You’re doing that thing again.” He voice was gentle. Maybe even a bit curious. I glanced back up at him through my lashes. His head tilted slightly and his thumb ran over my hand. He leaned toward me…

My palms started burning and warmth touched my skin. I pulled away, startled and looked down. The little tea light glowed between my hands.

“Oh, shit!” I yanked my hands away and went to blow out the candle. God, it better not have made a mess. I picked up the candle, moving it to the counter behind me. I let out a sigh of relief when there were no marks.

“Only mildly cliché.” I could hear the laugh in his voice. My face was warm. The heat from the candle no longer disguised it.

“That was nothing. Just caught in the moment.” I turned only to find him directly behind me. He had me trapped. Cliché was right.

“I should let you know that any romantic involvement between a witch and an angel is strictly forbidden. So, I suggest you get over your little infatuation with me.” I scoffed in disbelief.

“You think I don’t know the rules? And I don’t have any sort of ‘infatuation’ as you put it. You infuriate me. Maybe you should remind yourself of that rule, too.” I crossed my arms and he glared at me.

“What are you talking about?” I rolled my eyes.

“As I recall, you were the one about to kiss me.” He laughed and shook his head.

“I could kiss you and it wouldn’t mean anything. I feel nothing but a sense of obligation to complete my task.”

“Yeah, right! You were just as into that as I was. Maybe it’s you who’s infatuated with me.” He grabbed my arms and shoved me against the counter. His lips were aggressive against mine. I could only kiss him back for a couple seconds before he pulled away.

“It’s nothing,” he whispered. But my god that didn’t feel like ‘nothing.’

“What is going on? I told you to stay away from her!” My mother was rushing toward us with a walking stick she sometimes carried with her. He vanished into thin air. My mother’s face was livid. She flipped the sign from open to closed without even glancing behind her.

I shrank back but she came around and grabbed my arm, pulling me upstairs. Her grip was sure to leave bruises. I nearly tripped over the steps.

“What did I tell you. You had one job and you couldn’t even do that! This is exactly what happened to your grandmother. She just couldn’t help herself. They tricked her and now you’re in that same trap!”

“Mom, stop! It was nothing! What you saw was nothing!”

“I know what I saw! And I know I taught you the rules when dealing with the Higher Powers.”

“What happened to my grandmother?”

“Just go to your room. I’m putting a charm on this place and not letting you leave.” She went to slam the door to the stairway. A wave of power washed over me and I flung it back open.

She turned toward me in shock. Her jaw clenched before she started to laugh. She shook her head and for the first time, I was scared of her.

“You’re just like her. Powers at their strongest when there’s someone you love.” I clenched my fists.

“What. Happened. To. Her.” A brief look of pity crossed my mother’s features.

“She was assigned a guardian angel. He made her fall in love with him. Then convinced her to break rules and used that as an excuse to make the higher powers get rid of her.” She made her way over to stand in front of me. “You might care for him, but I promise. He doesn’t give a shit about you.”

-

I just stared at my ceiling. I refused to let my mother trap me in this house but this was still one of the few places I felt safe.

My pale green walls hadn’t changed since I convinced my mom to paint them when I was younger. I even held on to most of my stuffed animals. My eyes had just started to drift shut when I felt it. Felt him.

I couldn’t shake the things my mom said out of my head. I shouldn’t trust him. But it was Joe. I felt like I knew him. A part of me still thought this was different. There was a light tap at my window. I jumped. He shouldn’t be able to get to my window. I sat up but didn’t see anyone. I made my way over and opened my room to the cold evening. Silence.

“Joe,” I called. A few moments later, he hovered in front of me. His wings just visible. They were almost translucent but occasionally caught the light so I could see the white.

“I’m still amazed you can sense me. Let me in?” I glanced over my shoulder. I know my mom didn’t trap me here. But that didn’t mean she didn’t put an alarm spell or something.

“I probably shouldn’t.” he raised an eyebrow.

“Well then come out here so you can tell me what happened after your mother so rudely came at me.” I wrapped my arms around myself. Was he really just playing me? “What’d she tell you?” His eyebrows drew together. He looked almost sad.

I saw his had offered out to me. I looked between him and his hand. This was a terrible idea. I took his hand slowly. He helped me climb so I was sitting on the edge of the window. I yelped as he picked me up bridal style. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and squeezed my eyes shut. I was weightless for a few seconds before I heard the light thud of Joe landing.

“You can open your eyes now.” I cracked them open slowly. We weren’t at my house anymore. Instead, we were in a park a couple miles away.

“What the hell? Why are we here? How did you get here so fast?” I yelled at him as he set me on my feet.

“Chill. Just an angel perk. Quick travel.” He slipped his hands into his pockets. The wind made me shiver and I heard him chuckle. “Sorry, forgot you still get cold. Here.” He unzipped his bomber jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders. His warmth lingered.

“Why are you doing this?” I tugged the jacket closed. It was too cold to be worried about pride.

“I just want to know what happened after your mom came home. And what she told you to make you look at me like I’m a monster.”

“She just yelled a lot. Told me to stay away from you and such. Threatened to lock me up in the house.” I laughed awkwardly.

“What else? You’re obviously not telling me everything.”

“That all that happened! Really,” I lied. I turned away from him but he was in front of me again in a second.

“What’d she say about you tapping into your magic?” I crossed my arms over my chest. I couldn’t quite look him in the eye.

“It never came up.” He scoffed and shook his head.

“You’re such a bad liar. What happened?” I sighed. I didn’t have to tell him everything.

“I flung the door open when she tried to shut it. Apparently, she didn’t like the way I tapped into my magic. Said it was too much like my grandmother. That’s it. You’re caught up.”

“What happened to your grandmother?” I glared at him, though it was probably useless.

“None of your business.” He sighed and looked up at the sky.

“I’m sorry for earlier. I should have kept my emotions in check.” What was he sorry for? Other than being nosy.

“What are you referring to exactly,” I questioned? He looked down at me.

“For kissing you. I shouldn’t have let my pride get a hold of me. It didn’t mean anything.” He shrugged as if that was all he could do. I clenched my fists.

“Now you’re the one lying,” I mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off.

“So, I guess you really are just playing with me then? That’s your big mission? Same as the one given to the angel that took my grandmother.” He raised his hands in surrender.

“What are you talking about?”

“My grandmother fell in love with her guardian angel and then he used it against her. Made her break rules. Then she was gone. Her magic was stronger because she loved him. And now I’m just like her! All because of you!” I was yelling and a few tears made their way down my face.

“But I just can’t accept that. I don’t believe that you feel nothing for me!” He sighed and ran a hand over his face. There was only the sound of the wind for a moment.

“Well this might be a problem.” I shoved him but he hardly moved. Why wasn’t he taking this seriously.

“You’re an ass!” I started to storm away. I wasn’t going to put up with him. My mom was right. I should just stay away from him.

“Hey! (Y/N)!” Just keep walking. No such luck. He grabbed my arm and pulled me against him. “At least let me finish talking.” His arms wrapped tightly around me. I could feel my heart pounding and I’m sure he could too. I struggled in his arms.

“You aren’t helping. Just let me go.” I placed my hands on his chest to try and shove him away again. But he held me tighter. I concentrated on putting up a barrier between us. I heard him say mine name again but I ignored him.

My eyes popped open when I felt his lips on mine. I was stunned and I couldn’t move. What was this? What was he doing? This needed to stop. I regained my mobility but he refused to let me go. Joe held me tighter, bringing his hand up to the back of my head and tangling his fingers in my hair.

I was kissing him back. My eyes fluttered shut again and I felt his grip on me loosen. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He was gentle with me and took my breath away. We parted for a moment.

“Fuck,” he breathed. I giggled at the irony. I prayed to whatever god was out there. This needed to be real.

Joe stepped away from me suddenly. I almost stumbled. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked around. As if someone was going to jump out any minute. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“What are you doing?” He looked back at me, the longing evident on his face.

“This ends now. This never happened. I’ll take you home.” My jaw hung open slightly. He couldn’t be serious. We were just going to ignore this? He shoved one hand in his pocket and offered the other out to me.

“What? No! You want to pretend like this is nothing?” He groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

“Please try to understand—”

“But I don’t understand! Clearly there’s something here and you want to ignore it? Fuck the rules,” I yelled. He grabbed me by the shoulders again.

“Because they will hurt you! Do you understand? They will hurt you! As much as I want to say, ‘fuck the rules’ with you, it’s just not possible.” The wind picked up around us. His hands cupped my face gently.

“I don’t want to be the reason you’re hurt or worse.” He took a deep breath and released me. “Now let me take you home before your mom kills me.” I nodded slowly and took his hand when he offered it to me again.

He lifted me into his arms as effortlessly as the first time. His wings returned and I finally took in how beautiful they were. We started to float and I forced myself to keep my eyes open. Of all the myths about witches, the one where we fly on broomsticks is the one I wish was real.

“Hey,” I said quietly. Joe glanced down at me. “Do you mind if we don’t use the angel quick travel thing.” A smile made its way onto his face.

“Learning to love flying, huh?” I rolled my eyes at him “Ok, just hold on. Don’t worry though. I promise I won’t drop you.” And off we went.

The wind burned my cheeks. Almost everything was dark except for the street lights and the cars that looked like oversized ants. The ride was over far too quickly and he was hovering outside my window five minutes later. Only problem. My window was now closed and locked.

“Try out that magic you claimed to tap into earlier. I bet you can open it.”

“I was angry then. It might have been a fluke.” He shook his head.

“If I know anything about you, it’s that you’re strong. Trust me.” The sad look had returned to his face. He knew something about me that I didn’t. But I did trust him. As much as I didn’t want to, I did.

I concentrated on the lock inside my window. I just needed to lift it. I closed my eyes. The second I did; Joe’s arms became the only thing I could focus on. Strong and steady. He’d probably never hold me again. For all I knew, he’d disappear after tonight. I jumped when I heard his voice in my ear.

“You can stop concentrating so hard, it’s unlocked. And open for that matter.” He was right. I couldn’t even tell I did it. I laughed a bit.

“It’s all thanks to you,” I half joked. I turned my head toward him but didn’t expect his face to be so close to mine.

Our noses bumped together and I could feel his breath on my lips. I wanted to kiss him again. And I know he wanted it too but he’s right. We can’t say ‘fuck the rules.’ Not right now. He cleared his throat and moved closer to the window to set me on the ledge.

“I hope you don’t get in too much trouble,” he said with a small smile. I grinned back at him.

“I’m always getting in trouble with you.” He hovered in front of me for a moment.

“You probably won’t see me anymore. I’ll try to keep my distance. I’ll make sure the Higher Powers don’t bother you. I’ll let them know you’re not a threat.” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why would I be a threat?” This was his mission? To report back to the Higher Powers?

“Late blooming witches tend to be the strongest. And most rebellious.” I nodded, but I didn’t fully understand. “Goodbye, (Y/N).” He turned from me.

“Joe, wait,” I called. He faced me again, wings glittering from the light of the moon. “Well don’t stay over there. Come here. I don’t want to yell too much.” He floated back over to me.

“What is it?” I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward me. I knew he couldn’t get to close to the building, so I jumped. He easily caught me and I wrapped my legs around him. “Are you crazy? Why’d you jump?”

“Kiss me.” He went silent, desperation taking over his features. He opened his mouth to protest but I cut him off. “Just one more. Before I can never kiss you again.” He held me just below my butt, as respectful as ever. I saw the surrender in his eyes.

I leaned my head toward his, our lips just brushing against each other. I let my fingers tangle in his curls. He pressed his mouth against mine softly. I could feel us start to float down slowly. The cold no longer affected us. He landed on the ground without breaking our kiss. I felt the rough bricks against my back as he pressed against me. This had to be heaven.

I sighed when he pulled away from me. I held on as long as I could but he set me down on my feet. He cradled my face in his hands.

“I’m so sorry. I wish the circumstances were different.” I nodded as a tear slid down my face. He lifted me one last time, back to my window. I climbed into my room.

My guardian angel; the love that awakened me, was gone when I turned around.

[andysrhythmicregression-blog]

Young Caucasians Soundcloud playlist

https://soundcloud.com/user-405314491/sets/young-caucasians/s-roJuO

The Young Caucasians 1980-1989

Matt Hahn- Vocals

Judd Lees- Guitar

Andy Kaulkin- Keys, Guitar

Jerry Hergenreder- Bass

Bill Kalish- Drums

also:

Ted Vanderclute: Vocals; Jack Lees: Drums; Bob Bullock: Bass; Go Go Tim: Rapping & percussion; Mark Philips: Guitar

Albums:

Pop Quiz- 1983;  The White Stuff- 1986; The Shroud Of Elvis- 1987

The Young Caucasians was my band from '79 or '80 until '89 when we split up and i moved to LA.

The band was started by myself and guitarist Judd Lees with his brother Jack on drums and a really interesting bass player named Bob Bullock and our good friend Ted Vanderclute on vocals.   Judd was a musical omnivore.  More-so than me, and very studious.  He was good at playing pretty much any style he wanted to.

We started out doing Grateful Dead and classic rock covers plus a lot of 60s r&b, which i was obsessed with, as well as some originals that were written by myself and lyricist, Andrew Ellen.  By the time we started gigging and recording, we had morphed into an r&b flavored 60s garage punk type of band with a bit of early rock and roll and more of a focus on originals.  

Right around this time, Andrew died in a car accident, but left me with stacks of lyrics that i continued to write music to for the next few years.  all the songs on this playlist up until the "white stuff" sessions are his lyrics.  After that the lyrics are mostly mine.

About the lyrics.  Lyrics were never supposed to be an important part of the band.  We knew Andrew was a talented lyricist, but I was not sophisticated enough to really pay attention to what he was writing about.  I was really only going off of the sounds of the words.  He is the one who got me into all the big lyric writers like Bob, Tom, Neil, Bruce, etc.... but, even though i loved those artists, i really only listened to them phonetically as well.  I didn’t really start taking it seriously until i started writing them, and even then it was a while before i started to understand it.  The point of this band wasn’t lyrics though.  it was about fun and energy and crowd interaction.  I talk about lyrics on this blog because the process of learning about them became important to me, and i feel self consious about my lyric writing in this band.   Listening back now, I really like Andrews lyrics a lot.  He died when he was 18 so they were all written by a teenager, but they were youthfully fatalistic, ambitious and passionate and actually fit what we were doing really well most of the time. Most of my lyrics in the band were way worse.

Around '82 we had a big personnel shift and the real band started coming together with the addition of Matt Hahn on vocals and Jerry Hergenreder on Bass.  Matt is a big personality and a great performer.  He created the personality of the band, which was really fun and energetic.  To me, he sang a lot like Buddy Holly (in the early days), which was very unique for this type of band.  Matt loved the Beatles.  Matt and I both loved the Ramones.

Jerry has a very natural musicality and had a great feel for r&b.  in addition to bass, Jerry wrote most of the background vocals and wrote songs for the band as well. He probably was the most tuned in with the funky stuff and we probably couldn't have done the Go Go as well without him.  Because of these guys, we were incorporating a lot of showmanship and flashy r&b cadences in the arrangements and got a reputation as a really great live band.

At this point, Judd had become a very serious guitarist and was deep into chuck berry, steve cropper, and roots music in general which is actually my favorite part of this music when i listen back to it now.  any actual toughness in our sound would definitely be attributed to him. He was probably the most professional player in the band as well.  on some of the live recordings he is the only one holding it down while the rest of us are flailing, caught up on our stage moves.

Jack was younger than us and was more into commercial hard rock, but he was a very accomplished drummer and his precision gave us a punky edge.

In my mind, we were The Ramones meets The Rascals, but the other band members brought their thing into it so that was really just a starting point.

Our Pop Quiz ep was made half with this band and half with a new drummer, Bill Kalish, who was an NRBQ fan and brought a little of that looser vibe into the band.  Jack was great, but we wern’t really his taste in music, and Bill ended up fitting in with us really well.

the song "Natalie" from pop quiz got played a lot on local radio station called WHFS, and we started doing really well at our gigs and playing out of town more.  Local promoters liked us and we opened for a lot of national touring bands including multiple shows with bands like the Fleshtones and The Ramones (5 times!).  We were a smaller band in the same scene as local heroes, The Slickee Boys, Tru Fax and The Insaniacs, and The Insect Surfers, to whom we were sort of the little brother band.  In fact Pop Quiz was on the same label as the Surfers, Wasp records, owned by local record store owner, Bill Asp.

I think this is when we were at our best.  we were a fun, goofy band and in addition to club gigs, we got invited to play at a lot of schools and dances.  We were very proud of our live show and always working on it.   The originals were catchy, but we also knew a lot of old r&b tunes and we enjoyed winning over tough crowds.

Around this this time, a local studio offered us free studio time to make our next album thinking that being associated with us would bring them business...big mistake!  we took forever and never finished the record.... i included a couple from this session (unmixed).  there were actually a bunch of good songs from this period but unfortunately the recordings are lame and wimpy.  We probably should have released it anyway.  This was the last of Andrew’s lyrics and sort of the beginning of the end of the band. First of all, this is the point that i started writing lyrics which weren't very good.  a lot of word vomit….nothing to say…swaying from portentous to silly and back...  But even worse, this is when i started taking myself seriously as a songwriter and started wanting the band to be taken more seriously.... without the actual songs to back it up, of course.  I started playing guitar more live with the band because i was writing on the guitar, and the band was getting less fun. Also, the focus on lyrics and the switch to writing on the guitar made the music simpler and less distinctive than the earlier stuff.

  Luckily, while this was happening, we stumbled into the DC Go Go scene where we had a lot of fun playing those kind of shows.  There was a guy named Kenny Marshall that i worked with at a record store who introduced me to the scene and he was in the band for a short while.  Kenny was a good rap writer and he wrote the rap in “Right On Time” He also introduced us to Go Go Tim, who was a really talented mc and percussionist.  Tim was actually in the band for a while and played on our 2nd ep, The White Stuff, which included one of our attempts to mix gogo and rock&roll, the very catchy but ridiculous, “Right On Time”.  It’s a dumb song but it was popular at our shows and got played on our cool local radio station.  It may have been the first lyric i ever wrote.  Its literally random rhyming words and phrases put together with no meaning.  Another early song that i now think was much better than Right On Time was “Your My Reason”.  I think i was trying to write like Andrew, but was ultimately embarrassed by it’s earnestness so I didn’t want it on the album. Instead, we had a bunch of songs that made no sense.  I have a hard time listening to this album because of the words,  but i included some of the songs because we were definitely trying some new things musically.  Its a little more “professional” and “accomplished” than Pop Quiz. For better or worse, we were evolving.

I should also mention that before we recorded the White Stuff, we had an unfortunate episode where we worked with a pop producer and recorded some of these songs with really slick, un-listenable production.  The only redeeming value of these recordings is that the version of Right on Time features Kenny doing his own rap in that classic 80s broadcaster style.  i still couldn’t stomach putting it on the playlist.

Live, the Go Go thing was pretty awesome.  We did some crazy gigs, like the time we opened for Trouble Funk and r&b star, Shannon at a football stadium at North Carolina A&T for thousands of people.   We had a lot of cool experiences that were way outside of the scene we came up in and it really kept things interesting on the surface.

Unfortunately, as a rock band, we were getting more unfocused. The next record, “The Shroud of Elvis” is sort of all over the place…. some stones-y rock with the 2 guitars….some awkward attempts at a funk rock hybrid,  some really portentous songs, but some good ones.  I was listening to a lot of Television, Clash, Velvet Underground, Husker Du, Replacements...None of it really fit in with the Go Go stuff the way our earlier music had.  Having said that, the band was playing really well at this point, especially Judd.  Some of these tracks did come out pretty good.  In particular, I Don’t Love You, which is a total stones rip off, but is still kind of clever and catchy.  I also included Real Things which is closer to the stuff i was doing on my own, but the band and Matt sound great with it.

Judd quit at some point after that and was replaced by a guy named Mark Philips.  He was younger, more from a punk/post-punk background and, listening back, did not fit our sound as well as Judd.  I have some recordings with him, but i didn’t include them because they sounded really forced and the songs were also pretty bad.  

We did end up back in the studio one more time in 88 or 89 before the band finally broke up.  We did a lot of straight up go go in our shows but never recorded any, so we wanted to do that, and that is “This Joint Is Bumpin”…. i actually think it came out pretty good, for what it is, and was in the spirit of our early stuff in its own way.

I don’t remember exactly how and when the band broke up, but i think it was late ’88; early ’89.  I spent most of 89 working on my own music and i moved to LA at the end of that year.  

I hadn’t really much thought about the Young Caucasians (or my own music from that time)  since my life took other directions in the mid ‘90s  The band existed before i fell in love with chicago blues, or delta blues, or Erroll Garner, or took piano lessons, or listened to classical music or electronic music or latin music and so much more of what informs my tastes these days.  However,  I recently discovered forgotten tapes of the band and remembered what a big part of my life this music and these people were.  It was a very odd feeling.  It all sounded so alien but intimately familiar at the same time.  I feel a very strong sense of gratitude for all of it and I’m actually proud of a lot of it now.

At our best, we had no “artistic” motivation.  We just wanted to have the most fun, exciting show around and I believe we achieved that on many nights.  The recordings don’t really capture it, but I now enjoy them.  The ones on this playlist are my favorites in sort of chronological order.  It’s an odd journey.

[technicallymilkshakes]

Extraordinary ❂

Genre: Fluff Member: Kyungsoo Word Count: 2000

           “Wah, it’s the ocean!”

             It was that moment before the sun rose, coloring the edge of the visible world in warmth that you couldn’t yet feel. You huddled into your jacket and waddle-ran your way to the edge of the surf. Even those few steps measured the progress of the rising sun as it leapt to break up the night.

             Your companion followed at a more sedate pace.

             “Look, Kyungsoo, it’s the ocean!”

             You pointed excitedly at the water.

             “You’re acting like this is the first time you’ve seen the ocean before,” he said as he came to a stop next to you.

             You kept pointing insistently at the water, waiting with some impatience for him to follow the line from your face to your shoulder to your outstretched finger, an exclamation point which led to the sea.

             “…Is it?”

             “No. But I’ve never come during the winter. It’s so pretty! Let’s make a wish!”

             Someone else might find the beach dirty. There were rocks and seaweed strewn all along it, in addition to the occasional piece of trash. What sand it possessed looked grey and cold, blotted with sketches of black. But compared to the small section of beach that had been meticulously cleaned for filming, this was the more beautiful. Everything, from the black sock stranded on the edge of the tide to the dried out jellyfish to the two tracks of shoe prints leading to where you both stood spoke of it as something living and loved. There was a history in it, and now your presence would be imprinted upon it.

             “You know that’s not something people normally do, right?”

             His voice pulled you up from where you had been examining the Cinderella sock, calculating its dimensions and wondering who amongst the EXO members it would fit best. You cast him a cutting look, eyes narrowing even more as his lips began to quirk up into a smile.

             “That’s not a word I’d like associated with me, thank you very much,” you sniffed.

             He shook his head.

             “You’re strange.”

             “Thank you! Now, let’s see, where we were…” You clasped your hands together and rested your chin on the points of your index fingers. “I hope that Kyungsoo’s newest movie will be a major success—”

             Kyungsoo moved to put his hands over his ears. “Isn’t it bad luck to tell someone else your wishes?”

             “—that I’ll be able to go to Hawaii this year, aaaaand that I can finally have Kyungsoo’s homemade kimchi spaghetti this year!” You screwed your eyes up tight, then concentrated on your wishes and blew on the palm of your hand to send them on their way.

             He shoved you lightly with his shoulder and you staggered sideways overdramatically.

             “Those aren’t wishes, that’s just stuff you purposely wanted to say in front of me…”

             “Hush. It’s your turn.”

             He gave you an unimpressed look and you fluttered your hands near his face.

             “Hurry, hurry!”

             “Alright, alright. Okay. What should I wish for?”

             “Something besides health and happiness.”

             “But I honestly do wish for that.”

             “And nothing else?”

             He looked out at the water and seemed to struggle with himself. The sun had just broken free from the horizon and its light sparkled on the tips of the waves. Off in the distance, where the water flat-lined, a couple of ships were silhouetted against the sun. It was far from quiet here, even if the atmosphere was still and serene. Seagulls cried above the noise of the waves, and far down the beach to your left, there was an assistant calling for you.

             “I hope to remember that each moment is irreplaceable, to take it a step at a time. Ahead seems like an insurmountable distance, but it’s only when I look behind that I realize how far I’ve come.”

             You smiled and turned towards him, reaching up to ruffle a hand through his hair. He looked so young like this. His pensive look broke into one of annoyed humor and he ducked his head to escape your grasp.

             You started to skip down the beach past him before you turned around and told him, “Looks like I’ll just have to be your wish fairy, because you’re terrible at this.”

              “Thank you for your hard work!” You and Kyungsoo bowed towards the crew. It had turned bitterly cold in the afternoon, so you had brought coffee to the set earlier. Those crew members that had managed to snag a cup threw grateful smiles at the two of you as they passed, which you returned with a beaming grin. After all, a happy crew meant a happy work environment.

             Even though Kyungsoo only had a few appearances slated for today, he had had to remain for the duration of the shoot, waiting in the wings on standby. While he waited, he alternated between practicing his lines, talking to his colleagues, and checking his phone, even taking a nap at one point.

             But you, to your credit, had not remained idle either. Once the majority of the crew had vacated, you put your hand between his shoulder blades.

             “Let’s go,” you said as you began to steer him towards the car.

             You plopped yourself in the driver’s seat, adjusting yourself as Kyungsoo buckled up in the seat next to you.

             “Where are we going,” he asked as you threw the car into reverse.

             “To the next item on your schedule.”

             You snuck a look at his face. His look of confusion melted into one of nervousness.

             “What? What item?”

             “Getting forgetful in your old age?” you sing-songed.

             “At least tell me if I need to prepare something. What’s it for? Will I be the only member there?” He was already taking to his phone, probably pulling up a list of his activities in an attempt to find what he hadn’t lost in the first place.

             You shook your head, biting your lip to prevent a chuckle from slipping out.

             “No, no need to prepare. Don’t worry about it. It won’t even seem like work.”

             His phone continued to light up the car cabin.

             You drove for about an hour before you reached your destination. At one point, Kyungsoo had turned on the radio. He had hunted through the channels until he settled on one of his regulars, a foreign music station, then he crossed his arms and closed his eyes. You didn’t know for a long while if he was asleep. You only knew he was awake now because he was once again on his phone, scrolling through with a small frown on his lips. He wore that expression habitually. It was the face he made when he was absorbed.

             In fact, he was so absorbed that he hadn’t even realized you had arrived until you had parked and turned the music off.

             He looked up from his phone.

             “Are we here?”

             “Yup!”

             He leaned forward to look out the windshield. Then he looked back at you, his frown deeper. He opened the car and got out, and you hurriedly followed his example. You didn’t want to miss the look on his face.

             You hadn’t.

             His eyes were wide, his mouth open slightly and the lips twitching undecidedly between a smile and words. He settled for both.

             “How’d you know I wanted to come here?”

             You tapped the side of your nose and smiled mischievously at him.

             “I’m your wish fairy, remember? Now come on, I’m cold!”

             You didn’t need to say another word. He tugged a hat on low over his face, shut his door, then came around and slung an arm over your shoulder, propelling you inside.

              “I can’t believe you ordered jjamppong.”

             The waiter had just served your meals. Kyungsoo had ordered jjamppong and you had spicy crab stew. The steam from both of your bowls combined rose and colored your cheeks.    

             Kyungsoo looked up from his still boiling bowl of jjamppong.

             “But their jjamppong is supposed to be the best in Korea.” His eyes were wide and earnest. He followed far too many food bloggers for his own good.

             “But it’s so…mundane.”

             Kyungsoo dipped a spoon into the broth and took a sip. His eyes didn’t close, but they roved around, as if the broth created motes of light that only he could see.

             After a moment, he nodded, dipped his spoon in again and held it out for you to taste.

             “Try it. It’s really good.”

             You took the spoon from him, but he held his hand out still to catch any stray liquid that might spill. You blew on it lightly to cool it and then took a taste. When you were done, you handed the spoon back over.

             He didn’t even ask you what you thought of it. He just looked at you, and the longer you went without saying anything, the broader his smile became.

              “Jjamppong is common, but that’s some uncommonly good jjamppong,” you conceded.

             Kyungsoo let one low laugh out before you hurried to continue.

             “Let’s at least order some sannakji, though. To make up for all the normal.”

             After that, the two of you began eating in earnest, taking liberally from each other’s dishes. You hadn’t even realized how hungry you were until you started eating and now it was as if your stomach was a bottomless pit. And so there was little in the way of conversation between the two of you as you ate, only a few exchanged comments.

             At one point, though, you caught his amused, slightly exasperated look.

             “What?”

             “You’re my manager, right?”

             You nodded, unsure where he was going with that.

             “And you only have my best interests in mind, right?”

             “Of course!”

             “Along with EXO’s?”

             “Yes! Why do you ask?”

             “Then why do you keep singing ‘I wanna dan-dan-dan-dan-dance, fantastic baby’ over and over again?”

             It was as if your brain gasped. You hadn’t realized that you were even thinking about the song, but now that he brought it up, it was as if someone had turned the volume on high in your head. It was all you could think about. You wracked your brain for an EXO song, any song, but the only thing that came to mind was “boomshakalaka” on repeat.

             “Kyungsoo.” You reached across the table and laid a hand on his. You were in anguish. How could you have been unconsciously promoting any group besides EXO? “I can’t get it to stop. Make it stop!”

             “What am I supposed to do?”

             “Sing.”

             He stared at you blankly for a moment, pulling his hand away from yours. You didn’t think he was going to do it when he closed his eyes and started singing “Sing For You.”

             The voice in your head faded, as did all of the noise from the restaurant. The timbre of his voice rang so pleasantly in your head, smoothing its way across the jump from neuron to neuron. But it wasn’t just the voice with Kyungsoo. It was his attention and immersion in the act. He wasn’t just an idol. He was a singer, an actor, a butterfly with an untold number of colors. He became fully whatever he wanted to be.

           As the song came to a close, the sound started back slowly, then crescendoed to crash upon the two of you. You peeked behind your seat to see that almost all of the restaurant’s patrons were watching and clapping, and a great deal of them had their phones open and were recording or taking pictures.

             You turned back around. Kyungsoo had pulled the hat down a little lower on his head and he leaned over the table to speak to you.

             “How did I do? Was I alright?” he asked in a low voice.

             “More than alright. You were extraordinary.” You laughed and clapped for him and he rang the waiter over to order you some sannakji and apologize for the ruckus.

             And you. You hummed “Sing For You” for the rest of the night.

[ ❂ Read more Manager!verse here ]

A/N: A belated birthday piece. I made myself get Fantastic Baby stuck in my head by writing this.

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If you're looking for the good stuff, it starts about halfway through. I came home from school early one day and there they were, in the living room, going at it. But I think you might enjoy reading this from the beginning. I celebrated my forty-second birthday about two weeks ago and still occasionally think about that. I did however, think about it, on and off during my teenage years, if you know what I mean. Ellen, that was her name, made me promise not to tell our parents. When I was young, I saw an older man, must have been in his forties, fuck my sister, who was nineteen. If you didn't, please let me know why This story takes a little while to set up. If you enjoy this story, please let me know why. I'm kind of loud and my mouth tends to have a mind of its own. I've never married, but I have had many girlfriends. I promised and we never spoke of it again. Probably because it has been a bit of a sexual obsession of mine since then, if you haven't figured that out yet. Some were my age, but mostly they've been younger than me. I'm not particularly good looking. I'm balding and I have what can best be described as a mildly brash personality. Or, rather, it tends to speak my mind without going through any sort of filters. For some unknown reason, younger women seem to like me. What matters is how I feel about it and I feel that I have now reached the age that I always imagined that hairy dude who was fucking my sister was. In my mind, that means that I now need to fuck as many eighteen year old women as possible. That doesn't really matter. This brings me to the beginning of my story, which happened last weekend. This was one of those weekends, and by the time I got out of the station, I was exhausted. Depending on your own age while reading this, at forty-two I either reached "older man" status a long time ago, or I'm not even close to being "older". This particular friend has had a history of relationship problems and he's been there when I've needed him, so I agreed. He asked if we could hit the Lion and Whistle pub downtown, a place we'd been in the past, but not recently. I just wanted to go home, but a buddy of mine called and said he really needed to talk. The idea of an older man having sex with a younger woman turns me the fuck on, and now I finally am that older man. That was usually my starting drink. Why did I tell you about that afternoon in my younger years? I'm a disc jockey at a rock radio station and once a month I work weekends. By the time I had my second Ketel video one porn (vodka always followed Whiskey), I had an inkling that perhaps he wasn't going to be showing up and I started to get a little ticked off. She was alone, and my mind instantly went places the minds of forty-two year old men shouldn't go when they see a girl of that age. She looked to be about eighteen or nineteen and she had bright pink and purple hair. Why was she alone, I thought? To be truthful, though, while eighteen would be nice, at this point in my life, anyone between eighteen and about thirty will do. I walked in and looked around. I don't have many of them, but I like to start with a whiskey. Was she, too, waiting for someone? Our eyes met and we gave each other a polite smile and nod. He wasn't there yet, so I ordered myself a Jameson. That was when I noticed her. She noticed me at that point. I felt a little awkward so I turned away and ordered another vodka. "We were supposed to meet at 8:30". I downed it pretty quickly and looked back. " "I was, but my bitch girlfriend seems to be taking her sweet, fucking time," she said. By vodka number four, I had gathered up the courage to walk over. "A buddy of mine was supposed to meet me here at about 8:00. "Are you waiting for someone? In fact, I'm pretty sure that on weeknights, when the deejay is off, this bar has our radio station on. It was a couple of years old, but was in our current rotation at the station. A band we play on a regular basis. As she said that, I felt her foot touching mine. "'Disturbed' is my current favorite," she said. My face got a little inquisitive. oh I don't know what I was. " Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold started playing and her head began bobbing when the drums fired up. Does that make you feel any better. Her eyes were still on me, as if they had never left. Despite my joking tone, she pulled out her driver's license. " Her foot moved up to my calf. "Fuck, they let me in the bar so I'm at least eighteen," she said. I like other shit like dubstep 'n' stuff, but I'm mostly into metal. " "License and registration, ma'am," I said, jokingly. "You seem to be alone", I yelled over the music. I was starting to get a bit of a boner. I looked at it and then at her, as if I was a cop. Her hand moved to her blouse and she traced a finger from just below her throat down into her cleavage. "Happy birthday," I hd free porn videos said. "No, but I do want to taste your cum. She was indeed twenty-three. "Same here," I yelled. There was a streetlamp about 20 yards away. She had smallish breasts, but from my vantage point they'd fit nicely into my hands. " That turned my 'bit of a boner' into a full-fledged, raging hard-on. It was a cool fall evening but even so, without speaking, she unzipped her jeans, wriggled them down to her ankles, hiked up her blouse and leaned forward slightly against the brick wall, offering herself to me from behind. The next five minutes were a bit of a blur, but we ended up in an alley not far from the bar. It cast a little bit of light our way, enough to barely see each other, but not enough to let anyone else know we were there. Without saying a word, I unzipped my fly, got my cock out through my underwear and quickly slipped on a condom. Fuck, she was nearly dripping. I put my hand between her legs, sliding my index and middle fingers from the bottom of her pussy to her clit, to determine her level of 'readiness'. In fact her birthday was last week. " We smiled at each other and her leg rose from my calf to my thigh. Not unless they were within whispering distance anyway. "Nghhhhh," as I slid my fingers out. "Mmmmm," as I slid two fingers inside her pussy. She pushed her ass towards me as I removed my fingers, wanting me to slip them back inside. I finger fucked her for a few seconds and she let out soft moans as I did. "Do you want another drink," I asked, my eyes pointing at her empty beer glass. She was 'ready' all right. " I spread her pussy lips with my fingers and inserted myself melanie rios hd porn videos hd porn videos into her. "Unhhhh," she groaned as I slowly increased the pace. I slowly began to thrust into her, both my hands on her beautiful round, young ass to steady myself. Suddenly, I realized I needed to feel her with my hand. She seemed to like this. I went to her pubic area and realized she was completely clean shaven. I stimulated her clit while wriggling my cock inside her for a while, but soon it became clear that she needed to have have my hard shaft go in and out of her pussy again. I positioned one hand on the wall we were fucking against to steady myself and with the other I began to explore. I fucked her and moved my hand up her belly to her chest. What I hadn't imagined was how firm and pert they'd feel. They were, as I'd imagined earlier in the bar, a perfect handful. I took a break from thrusting and instead pushed my cock deep inside and wriggled around a little as I felt her mound and went for her clit. I moved my hand from breast to breast, cupping them and taking her nipples hd free porn videos between my thumb and index finger, which still had a little pussy juice on it. "Your cock," she breathed. I slipped my fingers inside of her cunt and felt her welcome me, nearly pulling my hand inside. Cum," she said rhythmically. "Fuck me hard," she half-whispered, half-grunted. She began letting out short, sharp "uh" sounds and I could tell I was about to make her cum. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. My first spurt came inside the condom, inside her cunt. " And, with that, I couldn't hold it in any longer. Then I quickly pulled out and pulled off the condom and finished cumming on her ass. It was hard and it was perfect. Even through the condom, her pussy warmed my penis, which, unused to the outdoors, was a bit chilled. Then, she stood up, pulled up her jeans, straightened her blouse and walked away. and her nipple, oh her nipple. I was about at the tipping point and she seemed to be as well. Using my cock I rubbed my semen into her ass cheeks, then with my hands I spread my warm creamy cum up under her blouse and around her back. Although, I have thought about her since, if you know what I mean. "Fuck, that was nice," I said. That was the last time I ever saw her. Nghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I stood there stunned for a few seconds before zipping myself up.

[caredogstips]

Bowie and the missing soundtrack: the amazing fib behind The Man Who Fell to Earth

David Bowie is rumoured to have written a score to the sci-fi classic thats locked up in some grave. But the truth is much stranger committing screaming maids, boozy melee and coke-induced sounding hallucinations

There is a great mystery at the very heart of The Man Who Fell to Earth, Nicolas Roegs cult film: its soundtrack. There is a prolonged report that long-lost music for the film recorded by its sun David Bowie sits somewhere in a vault. Theres merely one trouble: Bowies soundtrack to The Man Who Fell to Earth doesnt actually dwell. The music that appears in the film released for the first time next month as part of a collectors edition by Studio Canal and a vinyl carton to be prepared by Universal was written and produced by John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas.

The never-before-told story of its formation is almost as improbable as Roegs film. Signed to both idol in and write an original soundtrack for the cinema, Bowie, then at the top of his early renown, intended to record the music once killing had completed, envisioning it as the follow-up to his album Young Americans. But he began working instead on Station to Station, while deep into his cocaine and milk phase. After three months, he had managed to complete exclusively five or six lines in a ludicrous mishmash of styles from country rock to instrumentals on African thumb pianos and atonal electronic music.

The British arranger Paul Buckmaster worked on the demos with Bowie at his rented house in Bel Air, and at Cherokee Studios in Hollywood. Although they had composed the music playing along to a videotape of the movie , none of it was actually synched to the picture, interpreting it almost unusable. I repute[ Roeg] just got these disparate parts and likely said, What the hell is this? responds Buckmaster.

Finding himself without a soundtrack weeks from the movies projected premiere in March 1976, Roeg turned to the Mamas and Papas songwriter. Phillips third spouse, Genevieve Waite( a South African actor and simulate ), had introduced him to Roeg in 1970, when the director was in LA to work on Performance.

The Man Who Fell to Earth: watch David Bowies extraterrestrial turning exclusive video

Four years later, the director come here for Phillips and Waite performing a musical-comedy double act at Reno Sweeney cabaret club in Greenwich Village. Subsequentlies, he offered Waite the role of Mary Lou in The Man Who Fell to Earth opposite Bowie the capacity that eventually went to Candy Clark. He told John he wanted me to do it, she announces. But Phillips had other ideas. He had written his own sci-fi themed rock musical for his wife to star in, called Space, which was about to go into product. John spoke, Genevieves going to be working on the Broadway show. And he and Nic Roeg were so wino they had this terrible fight and knocked over tables and stuff.

The posting for the film Photograph: Everett/ REX/ Shutterstock

Those kind of episodes with Nic is somewhat I wouldnt announce frequent but “theyre not” sporadic, adds Graeme Clifford, who edited The Man Who Fell to Earth. Everybody who knows Nic, at one point or the other, has got into a wheeling around on the flooring fight with him. If John Phillips had not had a fight with him, Id enunciate, Oh really?

The next time the pair converged, Phillips was living in Malibu. We went to Candy Clarks mansion, he said in an interview before his death in 2001. Nic was going with her at the time. Roeg depicted him a cut of the cinema on a small portable TV. I merely adored the movie the moment I find it. He was unsure why Roeg was asking him to work on the soundtrack when Bowie was the obvious option, but took the number of jobs regardless, aiming to create a real American rating with banjos and folk and stone.

Phillips whose busines started in the late 1950 s in a doo-wop/ jazz vocal radical “ve called the” Smoothies, before he founded, first, tribe trio the Journeymen, then the Mamas and the Papas was steeped in American beginnings music. A musical chameleon like Bowie, he had moved effortlessly through a succession of styles, with a marked virtuosity, and has hitherto worked on soundtracks for Myra Breckinridge and Robert Altmans Brewster McCloud.

A musical chameleon John Phillips with his wife Genevieve Waite. Photograph: Allan Tannenbaum/ Getty Images

On arriving in London in 1976, faced with putting together a tally from scratch in an enormously short time, Phillips knew he necessity someone who could really play. That party was Mick Taylor, erstwhile guitarist for the Rolling Stones, who he considered the best guitar actor in the world.

They started work at Glebe Place, Phillips rented house in Chelsea. One daylight, Phillips recollected, Keith Richards stepped in and theres Mick Taylor standing here. Were playing guitar together. On looking Taylor, Richards give away a shriek. They both ice. They hadnt watched one another since Taylor had sauntered out on the Stones only over a year earlier. It was a little crabby, Phillips suggested.

Richards and Taylor reacted like pups circling. Keith broke the ice the only way he knew how: he grabbed a guitar and is participating in. We simply played old country chants, Phillips enunciated. Those is increasingly becoming the basis for the music Phillips recorded for the film, which included originals like Boys from the South, as well as energetic handles of Hank Snows Rhumba Boogie and Bill Monroe and his Bluegrass Boys Bluegrass Breakdown.

Rude awakening Bianca Jagger. Picture: ANL/ REX/ Shutterstock

Some of the music was very improvised, suggests Richard Goldblatt, one of the engineers who worked with Phillips. The transcriptions were quite innovative. Despite being under gigantic pressure to develops the music in a matter of weeks, Phillips continued to lead a busy and complicated life of narcotic and sexual excess. After one hearing, he arrived back home around two in the morning. Knowing nobody there, he trod round to his sidekick Mick Jaggers house on Cheyne Walk, looking for his wife. Instead, he found Bianca Jagger and Liza Minnellis younger sister, Lorna Luft. Genevieve wasnt there and nor was Mick. We all sat around, drank wine-coloured and went pissed, told Phillips. I was playing the guitar, singing some hymns and substance. Eventually, Luft left and John and Bianca who had enjoyed a brief affair in 1970, before she met and married Jagger ended up in bed.

At some extent close to dawning, they both fell asleep. At the session the following morning, Phillips was a no-show. The musicians and operators all sat waiting. Someone echo Glebe Place to find out where he was. Waite took the announce. She went round to Cheyne Walk, figuring he might be there, talked the help into letting her in and was told “hes in” the bedroom with Bianca.

So we were awakened around 10.30 am, Phillips supposed. There was Genevieve, I know youre in there, you two. Oh God, here I am in Micks bed with Micks old lady. My old ladys outside, slamming on the door. There were Nicaraguan maids run down, screaming in Nicaraguan. Genevieve storms in the door and takes a move at Bianca. I sort of hold Genevieve back and take her out. She just passed down wall street. I had to go to work.

The final session for the score has just taken place in February, with the films world premiere at Leicester Square in London now only three weeks away. Phillips began to desegregate the racetracks so they could be laid into the revise. At that spot, answers Goldblatt, abruptly, he started to go a little singular. He could discover clicks and noises on the tape and, despite the engineers insistence that there was nothing there, insisted they do everything over. But their own problems persisted. By the fourth or fifth day, concepts were pretty tense between them. Then something snarled. He lost it for some reason, remarks Goldblatt, who trod out of its present session and rendered the next morning to learn hed been replaced by another engineer.

Goldblatt was later to indicate that the projectionist had gone into the toilets and all he could hear was mortal in the cubicle next to him smelling big smells. The shower break-dance Phillips had go take, almost at the end of every take, unexpectedly acquired appreciation. He was doing astounding amounts of coke. So much, Goldblatt speculates, that he was having auditory hallucinations. Rafe McKenna, deputy engineer, recollects Roeg coming to the studio to have a serious discussion with Phillips about his behaviour. Told him off, mostly, and articulated stop pissing off the engineers and get wise finished tonight.

The eleventh hour entreaty worked. The music just came piloting out of the studio and I remain it in, reads writer Graeme Clifford. Roeg testifies himself joyous with the music Phillips produced for the movie. It had a range of different calibers that I thought was rather interesting, he does. He truly was an individual composer.

The rebuilt The Man Who Fell to Earth is in UK cinemas on 9 September, when the soundtrack will also be available, and then on DVD and Blu-ray on 24 October.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

The post Bowie and the missing soundtrack: the amazing fib behind The Man Who Fell to Earth appeared first on caredogstips.com.

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90′s Nuts: A Review of Pearl Jam’s Sophomore Album “Vs.” (Part 1)

The year was 1993. Grunge was really gathering steam and, aside from Nirvana, the biggest name in the genre was Pearl Jam. In Chicago, the local alternative station Q101 played a block of Pearl Jam songs every night. I remember the buzz around the upcoming Vs. record and listening for new songs as they premiered “live” on the radio. And I also remember the awkward reluctant celebrity that was Eddie Vedder.

I think it was his cool, reticent, oddness that lent the frontman a certain relatability to my group of awkward, odd friends that were all just beginning to make our way into our teen years. To see a rock star we all looked up to looking nervous on camera made it not just alright, but actually cool to be strange. A buddy of mine from my swim team named Jon was really into Eddie and he'd often tell me what Mr. Vedder would think of other kids on the swim team or the teachers at his school.

“He'd call them poseurs, man. Poseurs.”

And so, in the fall of 1993 and in the hopes of staying planted firmly in the “non-poseur” camp, I made my way to the local Best Buy to pick up the latest disc from Eddie and the gang. I remember thinking how cool the orange disc was and being somewhat disappointed that the insert didn't have full  lyrics for every song on the album. Looking at the case and CD now, I still think that the orange disc is pretty cool. That much is undeniable.

I also remember the lack of music videos for the album. While disappointing, it went along with the rebellious attitude of Pearl Jam that really appealed to a lot of young people at the time. The band wasn't just pissed at MTV, they were pissed at Ticketmaster and all kinds of other crap. It was a righteous anger they easily conveyed and for my group of angry friends, it was good to feel righteous every once in a while.

So, with that random and rambling bit of personal backstory out of the way, let's get to the track-by-track review of Pearl Jam's sophomore offering from 1993: Vs.

“Go”

What a killer way to kick off a record. The groovy riff and drums that just build up higher and higher are simply awesome and then Eddie comes in and nails it. It's a really tight opener that also manages to seems like it's always on the verge of rocking so hard it falls off the rails.  

The lyrics are simple and screamed and, not to take away from their actual content, they're delivered in a way that conveys an emotion and a feeling in much the same way the other instruments on the track do. While I can't say I literally understand what they're saying, I can say I understand what they mean. Or at least what they mean to me.  

Ultimately, the track is a quick, rollicking one that throws the record into high gear as it comes out of the gate with guitars blaring, drums beating, and Eddie screaming over the top of it all.

SCORE: Eight out of ten Doc Martens.

“Animal”

Another rocking intro with a groovy riff that manages to snake in and out of breakdowns that gradually build up to really interesting choruses. It's not that the parts of the song aren't recognizable, it's more that the way the parts are laid out and flow into one another is non-traditional. Don't get me wrong, Pearl Jam didn’t break the mold with these tunes, but their structure and form vary enough from what was the norm and as such the songs still seem fresh.

SCORE: Seven out of ten slap bracelets.

“Daughter”

I'm pretty sure “MTV Unplugged” was huge at the time of this record and I remember alternative radio really rediscovering the acoustic guitar around the time. This song has become a modern classic and I think its pretty clear why.  

The guitar intro is simple, timeless, and instantly recognizable. The lyrics and melody are solid and the numerous breakdowns into solos kick ass as the song ebbs and flows in and out. Again, this song didn't follow the typical “power ballad” formula of acoustic verse, distorted chorus, acoustic verse and that really helps the song stand out.

I also want to make note of Eddie's choice of lyrics here. I think it was interesting that they managed to make a hit out of a song where the chorus is a man singing “Don't call me daughter!”

See, I've always heard that young boys don't even want to read books by written by female authors so publishers make them use initals like “S.E.” and “J.K.” to hide their real names and genders. And while it was obvious that Eddie is a guy singing and not secretly some woman named Edith, PJ nevertheless ran the risk of alienating those same kind of young male fans. But, looking at the song's popularity and legacy, it doesn’t seem to have been an issue at all.

The song was a good one and I remember my friends and I all took away from it our own messages. Even at our supposed immature ages, nobody made an issue out of someone calling Eddie “daughter” in the first place.The fact that the rest of the lyrics were so cryptic also added to the song's mystique. Throw in the ��shades go down” outro made for some sweet live jamming and you've got another winner.

SCORE: Nine out of ten Kurt Loders.

“Glorified G”

I think something that really stands out at this point in the album listening is that Pearl Jam has gotten a little funkier since Ten. I don't know if that's due to new drummer Dave Abbruzzese's influence or what, but the riffs and beats have definitely gotten a bit groovier and that's what carries this song.

I'm pretty sure there's a gun control message here and I don't really remember that being an issue at the time. I do recall one time Sheryl Crow said something about guns at Wal-Mart in a song and Wal-Mart went apeshit and pulled all her albums and stuff. But I don't think anybody really minded about this song's message and maybe the fact that it is almost presented as parody (“Got a gun, fact I got two, but that's okay, man, because I love God”) managed to help it fly over some people's heads. 

Anyways, I've always loved the riff and while it doesn't have the same epic, almost arena rock feel that the intros of “Alive” and “Evenflow” have, it is still a fun and memorable one.  That, plus the slightly unintelligible “Blah blah, I can feel, the looooove in my hand” outro gives the tune a really fun, sing and dance-along feel that you don't often get from songs with political messages.

SCORE: Nine out of ten flannel shirts.

“Dissident”

This is a pretty good mid-tempo song that I've always enjoyed. I really don't know what level of success this tune had since PJ had eschewed videos completely by the time Vs. dropped, but I feel like it got a pretty good amount of radio airplay.  

I'd say that's for good reason as it's an all around good song that has some pretty poppy elements to it and a fairly catchy chorus.  The guitars are woven in and out well and the bridge that comes in around midway through the song is a pretty good way to breakup what becomes a long outro chorus.  This isn't to say it's bad, just that it’s a little bit more simple of a composition than some of the earlier cuts on the album.

In all, a good workhorse of a song that earns itself:

SCORE: Seven out of ten “Doug” episodes.

That’s all for Part One of our look back at Pearl Jam’s sophomore slam Vs. Check back early and often for our second part to this feature and plenty more from Portion Bread & Circuses.