#its still sad as hell
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Missing my friend that died tonight...
#dead friend#it's getting close to a month now since he officially died#it was over a month ago though that the car wreck happened#i wish he hadn't died....he loved his kids so much and was looking forward to seeing them grow up :(#at least no one else was in the car with him....i guess#its still sad as hell#only 33..#sigh....#personal
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I hate being a person who loves bugs, I can't say anything without the person I'm talking to reacting with disgust. Today I had to literally beg a coworker for the life of a spider, and then after I put it in a nook outside she thought it'd be funny to show me a video she took of her killing one. Like idk man. Birds scare the shit out of me but I still get why people love them. They come in pretty colors and they sound nice and they're interesting to observe. I don't understand why people don't feel the same about bugs. The rich amber color of a cockroach, the iridescent glow of a fly, the intricate hydraulics that power their little legs, the chirp of a beetle, the art of the spider's web... It's all so beautiful. Why is it the habit of so many to destroy?
#insects#entomology#to be clear i think its perfectly understandable that people have phobias#i would never force someone to look at or touch a bug if they didnt want to#but it almost seems like some enjoy killing tiny creatures#like hell. even if they play no part in transferring the bug they still want it dead#it just makes me sad. theyre such lovely little beasts its like watching someone kill a puppy to me
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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Initial drawings of that old man… I literally, I haven’t finished reading the book of bill yet!!! I had to stop and take a break for a week to feverishly draw fanart of myself petting fords floofy hair and giving him attention and shit…!!!! The urge was too great….!! I’ve literally. I had a crush on this guy the instant he was first REVEALED in the show, but I did not have the artistic prowess to draw good looking old men back then… but I do now… thank god… thank fucking god
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#self ship#self insert#si x canon#it me#doodles#I got a haircut! so my hair looks different now.. as haircuts tend to do lol#anyway… yeah… I LOVE HIM… GRAHHFJH#the confirmation that he rlly is just sad and lonely and insecure and craving attention and validation#OHH FORD BBY.. WE R THE SAME#like… ghghg i loved him already just w his prickly nerdy outer shell but knowing more about the vulnerable center is GREAT. ITS AWESOME#also hes a smart nerdy guy who can do science and expirements and shit which is ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS FOR A CHARACTER TO DO#u kno im all about scientists….#I couldn’t draw ship art back then 1 cuz I didn’t kno how to draw old men and 2 cuz I was like 13 lol… which would have been wierd#but I’m an ADULT NOW. GET OVER HERE FORD#also it didn’t even rlly cross my mind TO draw that stuff cuz even tho I did love ford#self ship and x reader sorta stuff was not NEARLY as popular back then.. like I specifically remember it like. booming in popularity#at some point. but being pretty rare before that. anyway. thank u passage of time and trends and new gravity falls book for introducing#me back to fictional man I love. so I can now draw myself smooching him and shit#hell yeah.#13 is probably not actually correct I do not remember exactly which year fords reveal was in…#but I was probably older then 13.. but still#the point remains lol.#also omg. the bit in the book w the goth moth. ‘ur probably into this sorta thing right?’#I AM INTO THAT SORTA THING FORD. thank u book of bill for being written specifically @ me. the immersion it’s great.#like ur so right ford I AM edgy and goth how’d u guess that tee hee. eyelash flutter#aLSO PLS IGNORE MY FINGER BEING IN FRAME IN THE LAST PIC. I was drawing in a tiny bound sketchbook#so I had to hold the paper down to keep it flat. and. I didn’t feel like censoring my fucking. pinkie finger out of the image
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tw: slight suicidal actions (but not really the batfam are wildly clueless to the actual context to danny's bullshit hes not suicidal--in this fic--he's dead get it RIGHT brucie)
Au where Batfam are entirely convinced that the new vigilante in Gotham, danny, has time travel powers because he can vanish away from their senses completely
This becomes a problem however when
Bruce searches for him because wants to save Jason. Danny can save Jason not in the--im a time traveler and i can bring him or you back from or to the past--but in the, I’m a ghost king and have domain over the dead haha
Batfam become really concerned watching Phantom fight because “if he has time travel powers why doesn’t he avoid getting hit every time he can” and get worried phantom is purposefully letting himself get hurt
Danny in all honesty is just vibin the entire time while the batfam is going crazy at every sliver of info they get about danny because like
okay hes a time traveler thats established they got over that
This guy whos somehow been able to stop and rehabilitate rouges (ghosts) in his town is 15??
he may be the kindest most self destructive kid they've ever met like who immediately agrees to help people who were trying to capture and interogate him because he 'thinks we are better than the last billionaire who did this' what the FUCK
Oh yeah and they find out as a bonus in the end that his normal unpowered form he is a teen with black hair and blue eyes (bruce no no dont do it dont--)
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Bruce is losing his mind
Okay so at the start of this there’s an unknown vigilante (danny) that Batman tends to bump into. Except Batman isn’t sure what he is.
Every time they run into each other Batman can tell there should just be a person beside him but before he gets a glimpse and opens his eyes to empty fresh air.
A vigilante that can vanish before their very eyes?
What do the bats think about this?
They think this vigilante can control time and is doing that to sneak out of their gaze.
Now here’s where the funny part comes in
Bruce goes on a wild hunt to search for the vigilante with a plan. To make them turn back time so that he can save his son.
The problem with this?
Danny is not a time traveler most days–scratch that he's not one at all. He can save his son Jason though, in fact he wants to, it’s just he needs to figure out a way to do this whilst not blowing his cover that he is the goddamn ghost king.
So he pretends that he does have time powers and that he just… uh… needs a minute to figure them out… yeah that!
Cue Batfam getting progressively more worried about Danny because ‘if he could turn back time—why doesn’t he avoid those hits?’
They all kinda think Danny is like purposefully hurting himself so now Danny is forced to eat breakfast with them and sleep at their manor. I mean he’s confused at why they always look so worried about something but he’ll make sure Batman’s son gets home soon! Plus the rich people temporary-living-situation without all the ‘I want to adopt you’ billionaire bullshit is pretty sweet!!
(somewhere in the ghost zone jason is tearing up laughing at the batfam as they struggle to not burst into flames trying to figure out danny-- like for christs sake they think the ghost king is an american doctor who and are trying to get him to spill where his tardis is)
#dc x dp#dp x dc#fanfiction#danny phantom#batfam#danny fenton#bruce wayne#batman#jason todd#Batfam trying to be relatable to a time traveler: so... 1990 was sooo cool right?#danny sweatdropping having never passed basic history on his own w/o cheating since elementary: yea i loved seeing real life dinosaurs haha#dick born in 1990: what#mans never passed world history#dick is so sad#everyone keeps calling him a dinosaur now and its really getting to him#tim pointing at dick: this 24 year old is a FOSSIL#dick crying: leave me ALONE im still YOUNg and BEAUTIFUL#danny: i think I caused a new episode of family fights#batfam watching danny slam down from five stories of concrete worried as hell#danny casually getting up: whats up guys! whos ready to partay!!#batfam: haha... *silently dials hotline* ...mee#its been a bit since I last posted one of these so its not my best :(#Ill be sure to edit some good ones soon so yall can read :))#ohkay gn lovelies ^^#oh my god its only 12 nevermind i lied hey guys have a good afternoon#batfamily#danny is a little shit#batfam are so confused
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No greater horror than going to reread one of your favourite fics only to realize it was fucking deleted.
BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER THAT YOU SAVED IT ALL A WHILE BACK AND FIND THE SAVED COPY
So now Im just staring at the fucking PDF file of the fic, absolutely flabbergasted and shocked. This is it. This is the only way I'll ever be able to read it now. Holy shit 😭
The author deleted their entire accout too, so I guess they just wanted to get rid of everything. Which, I mean, is fine, it is their work after all. They can do whatever they want with it.
BUT MAN, Im gonna be saving stuff all the time from now on.
#I have NEVER experienced this before#sure some fics I liked in the past got deleted and I was sad about it#but having a copy of it saved????#this is a whole new level of emotions#what the hell#you bet your ass Im gonna go and save SO MANY fics now after this#had to come here and rant cause Im feeling things rn#like Im so sad they deleted it but I have a copy so Im good??#but its still evoking this somberness???#idk man I wasn't expecting this#Im just gonna go read this smut fic now LMAO#ahhh but I just realized there was ANOTHER fic by this author I really liked... and I dont have it saved ☹#FUCK#really learning the hard way today#save your faves everybody!#you never know...#random post
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What if Aziraphale knew what kind of effect it would have when he offered to restore Crowley to full angelic status. What if Crowley walking away was what he wanted? What he needed to keep him safe? Aziraphale just never expected the kiss.
What if “Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death,” wasn’t just the name of a coffee shop, but also a threat? What if all of the lies we saw him told (Job’s children…The Miracle…), the performances we saw him put on (The Jane Austen ball…the Magician act) was all a lead up to his biggest lie yet? “You’re demons, you’re evil.”
What if that was what Aziraphale thought he needed to do to keep Crowley from putting himself in danger to “rescue” him one last time?
What if Aziraphale didn’t want to reform Heaven so much as he wanted to rip it up by the roots and tear it apart, so it can never hurt Crowley again?
What if he knew.
#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#aziracrow#good omens 2#ineffable husbands#ineffable divorce#this is a whole lot of nothing#my brain is a melted cocktail of despair and sadness#I needed season 3 like yesterday#it’s fun to speculate#but I think that it’s also an incredible character arc if Aziraphale truly still believed Heaven could still be changed#BUT it’s suspicious as hell that we never actually saw Aziraphale’s reaction to the Metatron’s initial offer#im just SAYING. ITS SUSPICIOUS#And I also just love BAMF!Aziraphale marching into Heaven to fuck it UP
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I've had an idea in my head for a while now on a short comic I want to do about one of my clans and the big event that kicked things off for them, but knowing me a comic is a bit much. Do not have the attention span for that. I did at the very least sketch out a panel I had in mind.
#fr#fr art#my art#C: Niya#C: Etis#C: Chyros#it would be very sad!!!!!#not a happy ending!!!!#but pretty important for why my clan is where they are now#and why their leader is who it is#i am tempted to try doing this comic though#hell even if its all just sketches that'd still be cool#its a story i want to tell yknow?
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sequel to this ramble cause the way james talks bout the reduced cherik scenes throughout the xmen films in this video is making me want to kill people. 'we'll always have paris darling' what if we all blew up.
#xmen#xmen first class#xmen dofp#xmen apocalypse#xmen dark phoenix#cherik#snap chats#im gonna be sick ive rewatched this like five times#IM STILL PISSED AWF AND THEN HEARING HIS COMMENTARY ABOUT IT OUUUUGGHHHH#OOOH WHAT IF I THREW ROCKS#LIKE WHAT THE HELL WAS CUT. aside from that gorgeous 'where are you doing' scene in first class ofc BUT WHAT ELSE#im forced to believe there was a make-up and/or hate sex scene in dofp because wdym they were worried about censorship#LIKE WHAT. WHAT DID THEY CUT. CAUSE CENSORSHIP OVERSEAS IS ONLY FOR EXPLICITLY QUEER THINGS INNIT#maybe paris can be our always i hate it here NO I LOVE HOW THE PARIS BIT IS EVEN /THEIR/ COPE#LIKE PLEAAAAASSE im throwing up. maybe if i draw cherik ill feel better#on the real its genuinely so sad. like even outside of shipping this is still art being reduced#and what we have is still good but the thought that it coudlve been BETTER ...#again their connection is already good from what we have in the final but just ... the lost emphasis of it all if that makes sense#ESPECIALLY outside of first class and dofp- like their relationship really is so sparse in DP and apocalypse its so sad#i think what makes it esp sad is how upset james is about the cut material like its so nice that hes so invested in their relationship too#and its just gotta be so. Excuse Me What when youre told 'hey so your characters cant having a deeper relationship or we're fucked'#'even though the relationship between these two is one of the most fascinating aspects of this generation of xmen films'#is it so hard to want to see like .. even just an intimate 'friendship'. like would it be so bad to see them be so heartfelt#or even just bein a bit silly. or hell ill take them fighting again ANYTHING I BEG YOU the humanity between them is so important#LIKE PLEASE im gonna cope and seethe forever i fear#and when he said 'i thought 'its probably the last time we get to do this to each other'' :((((((((((((((((((((( shoot me#at least we'll always have paris ....
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#meloetta#okay. let's all be honest with ourselves. first of all‚ pirouette form that i didn't even know existed is under the cut#second of all. do any of us REALLY know anything about meloetta's lore? they show up in the gti postgame i THINK but i don't#even remember why they did that. something about helping you with the town building mechanics (which i still think is insanely cool)#and i don't think this “pirouette form” ever happens. in there. i think they're barely relevant even in gti#the hell is this thing? like. an event pokémon that was somehow even less relevant than genesect and keldeo?#if anyone knows what this thing is or what its lore significance is. then. i'd be surprised. lemme google it actually. bulbapedia time#okay…… plays music…… sings or whatever……… pirouette form is. normal/fighting? ok#bulbapedia dropping a whole-ass ♩ which i didn't even know was a unicode character#ok. it sings. why#yeah only ever released via event. sad? sad#it would be more sad if i knew anything about this bitch other than that they sing and that is it#why do they need to be mythical. what is the point
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Important question: In the Hero Ending, did Hornz escape on the barge with everyone else?! Was anyone left behind?!
nobody like him....
#hornz#my actual goat was left behind....#chances are if they got too close hornz would kill them but its still sad as hell
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No, but can you imagine the Body Dysmorphia that Sinners must face?
You go into a realm that feels completely different from yours, and there's no way out. You look down and see your hands, but they're not your hands. They look like a monster. You find the nearest mirror, and you look to see a creature looking back at you. You jump in horror, only to realize it's you. The monster is you.
#sinners#i still believe that heaven foes something to the winners that makes them never sad or forget about their relatives in Hell#winners will deal with this as well but not to the extent sinners have to bciz its a punishment#hazbin hotel sinners#sinners hazbin hotel#IM GOING TO SHIT MY PANTS#IMAGINE SOMEONE ASKING MOLLY ABOUT ANGEL (ANTHONY) AND SHE REPLIES “who's Anthony?”#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#tw body dysmorphia#hazbin hotel notes
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ive talked to a lot of ppl who have taken vyvanse now and i think ik a bit more on how i need to live on it
#1) dopamine drops on lower dosages or high dosage but in the evenings feel like hell and it wont ever stop you have to just breathe#you will stop breathing well and you wont notice it so you have to remember to breathe deeply. this helps immensely for some reason#2) you will stop processing the existence of food as a consumable thing and not just an object like Table or Cardboard. you will not want to#eat anything. you have to buy meal replacement shakes. sweetness is one of the only pleasant flavours. eat protein. eat as much protein as#you can. down those meal replacament shakes. get enough for a day. try not to into calorie deficits on vyvanse.#3) your mind will be searching for cognitively complex tasks and everything else dwarfs in comparison. dont lay down. do something.#4) you have to exercise. fully exercise at the gym not a home 20 min work out. you need to push your body right now so that you can be ok#5) nothing will be as intense and vivid and beautiful and there will be a layer of seperation between you snd reality even on a lower dosage#this is fine. this is the primary price. sunlight helps and so does doing complex tasks but you cant avoid this. remind yourself that this#is a self-induced thing and its temporary and itll fade.#6) youve been ship of theseus'd into a new person and this effect only increases later into the day. any conclusion you reach about yourself#is most likely not applicable to your non-vyvanse self.#7) carry chapstick around. keep drinking water. dry mouth starts 5 minutes after taking it#8) some of your friends have a reduced range of emotion and this makes them more stable but less capable of experiencing intense joys#and sadnesses. look at them. listen to their perspective. live like them when youre on the medication.#9) music is still gorgeous#10) you will feel very hot very fast. wear layers you can take off.#11) pick up a bow and shoot. keep shooting. keep going. shoot at least 50 arrows if you can. feel the pain in your arms and your shoulders#and then keep shooting.
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The reality sets in too little too late.
Obsessed with the idea of David killing Red with a pair of scissors that I got from @raspf
#dhmis#two of us AU#two of us!David#art#digital art#blood#I think I made him a bit too sad looking but whatever#dialogue is in reference to the friendship episode where he's hitting his head with his hand#I wasn't sure how I wanted David to have killed Red#cause theres no way in hell David would have won in a fair fight#the scissors are a great explanation#I can also used them to explain why Red's eye is like that#a few alternative sketches had his eyeball still skewered on the murder weapon lol#its a visual I really like (pun intended)
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Beast Wars Rampage
#poll#maccadam#transformers#smash or pass#request#beast wars#rampage#hannibal lector crab#i wish bw s3 wasnt so rushed so he couldve been a more compelling character#honestly i feel like they tried to make cannibalism his whole schtick besides having his spark in megatron's possession#and that couldve been really cool but the trouble is these are the predacons amd everyone's already doing cannibalism for funsies#like. tarantulas tries to do vore three episodes in. dinobot ears his own clone. hell even rhinox threatens to deep fry terrorsaur.#the hell makes rampage so special? oooo show me your fear#babygirl cmon get a hobby or something#at least he had depth charge but still#they were so rushed and its genuinely pretty sad because i think if depth charge knew about the transmutate incident#it might break his perception of rampage and lean into him questioning whether or not hes truly a mindless killing machine#it would also help if transmutate was important for more than one episode and also maybe had a degree if agency#but thats a different rant
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im supposed to be studying
#resident evil#resident evil 4#ada wong#I ACCIDENTALLY MADE THIS CANVAS SO SMALL SO I HAD TO RESIZE AND NOW ITS BLURRY AHHHHHHHH#its fine but ITS NOT FINE IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH LOL#i had to switch mice for this. the other one was so slippery. i dunno if its because its wireless or whatever. that boy go NYOOM#changing the settings didnt help.#anyway. last week i finished the mercenaries and got leons rpd outfit. it was hell. it wasnt but i was in a rush so it was#i think after everything my favorite is still ada cause that grapple gun is everything. the hardest for me was krauser#krauser should have been the easiest cause you just knife everything but i kept slashing dynamite and had to redo the village like 10 times#it was absolute ass. he's the most broken character why would they do that to me#and then immediately after i started on my separate ways professional S+#its funny someone said the S+ was harder than base game. base game's pro S+ burnt me out so bad#i didnt touch the game for months afterward. separate ways S+ was a cake walk after. you dont even have to fight krauser ovo)b#the most difficult parts are probably the double garradors and the countdown to get to leon at the end#immediately after i got all my achievements I was plunged into a depression like no other. plus i had a discrete math midterm on friday#i am SO SAD. WHO WAS I BEFORE SEPARATE WAYS#i did the same silly thing i did when i drew Link. the shine in her hair says 'Ada' because i have to derive joy from somewhere
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