#its so nice to explore how everybody smiles and laughs so differently

[psychojetcocktail]

Beautiful people i really enjoy drawing :3

[heresathreebee]

The One Where She Got A Dog

Yelena Belova X Reader

Summary: how Yelena became a dog mom Masterlist Part 2

Tags: E | 1.8k words | scary movie, winter, secret pasts, sapphic

AN: Black Widow movie really got me in my feelings about those characters, Yelena in particular. I havent watched The Thing in almost a year please look the other way if movie events are out of order.

Pretty Russian girls are not usually your type, but fuck if you weren't absolutely obsessed with this one. You laughed when she told you she was from Ohio.  She laughed when you said you were too. 

Aquavit and your grandma's biscuit recipe brought her into your cabin on the edge of the world where she admitted to you she had never seen John Carpenter's The Thing before. You turned it on just as the snow storm set in and wrapped up in your thickest blankets with her. You're trying not to get your hopes too high but she's not shy about asking you to scoot closer. 

"Skäl," you cheer just as the ominous opening credits end and they find the mysterious ship in the frozen wasteland of antarctica. 

"Have you ever been?," Yelena asked. 

You grimace at the strong taste of aquavit. It's like vodka but with caraway for 'flavor'. You look at her from the side and poor yourself a second shot. "Been…?" 

"There." She points at the screen. 

"I have actually," you admit in a way you hope is flat and uninteresting, "have you?" 

Yelena shook her head. It's possible she might think you're being sarcastic (you cross your fingers under the blanket and hope she does). She's smiling at you, thinking something (but still watching the screen with interest). 

She drops the subject until you have to pause the movie to pee. You unwrap yourself from the cocoon of blankets and as you stand she asks you another question. 

"What were you doing there? in Antarctica, I mean." 

You sigh and pretend to brush something off of your pants. "Science trip with my parents. Shitty vacation for me I'd rather be in the Bahamas." 

You resist the urge to look at her. After taking care of business, you come back just in time to put the biscuits in the oven. You hear Yelena lean into the kitchen archway as the floors creak immensely here. 

"No timer?," she asked. 

"No timer," you confirm. "I use the timer of my heart." 

Yelena scoffs. "Please don't burn them, I'm curious about these… what are they– pastries?" 

"Something like that." 

The two of you went back to the movie just as the gang on screen is trying to decipher who is human and who is not. You feel like something between you has changed and sadly not for the better. 

But she can't know. 

"I hate this part," you say, making absolutely no move to avert your gaze. 

Yelena is startled when the doctor's arms become trapped in the bear trap belly mouth of the "man" on the table. She quickly covers her eyes and giggles manically, slapping your chest for the vague and unhelpful warning. You realize she's not as close to you as before…

There's 20 minutes left of this movie and you haven't seen a single thing on screen. Yelena stopped asking you questions when you stopped being coherent with your answers. All you can think about is telling her. 

But you can't tell her. She would never understand. You barely understand and it's about you. 

"I lied." Your heart beats in your throat as you see her face you but you can't look at her directly for fear of losing your nerve. "About the science expedition? That's not why I was in Antarctica…" 

Yelena seems to wait for you to continue but… 

"Eh, no offense but, " you gesture with your hand, "I don't really know you like that." 

Yelena gave your reply a single nod. "I suppose that's fair." 

You can't help but fidget in your seat. "Idliketo" 

"What was that?" 

You cleared your throat. "I said… I said I'd like to. Know you like that, I mean…" 

Yelena gives you a smile. "I would like to know you like that, too." 

The movie ends, the biscuits are not burnt but buttery soft and golden brown, and the blizzard outside has subsided some. It's still going but at least it's not buffering the doors and windows like before. 

"How can you watch that film in a place like this?" Yelena cannot get enough of those biscuits, stuffing them in her mouth 2 at a time. "Does it make you paranoid?" 

"Yes it does," you say, putting your coat on, "I think that's what makes it so much scarier–  looking outside and being scared every person you come across ain't who they say they are. Sometimes its not a bad thing though... I think it is rather… poetic, too." 

Yelena's eyebrows furrow. "Where are you going?" 

You put on your boots and hope the duct tape stays on the hole you covered earlier. "Dogs are out in the shed. It's heated and they have food, but not for days and I'd rather have 'em in the house where I can take care of them." 

As you finished your sentence you reached for the door,  but stopped when you noticed Yelena getting dressed too. She gives you a nod as soon as her hood comes up, and you give this brave thing an appreciative once over. 

The snow that nearly all melted before is up to your knees now. Fresh, white, and fluffy. It muffles sound like the world's sidelong turning. The odd snowflake wafts lazily from the sky, but for the most part it's died down. You teach back and take Yelena's gloved hand to keep from staying too far apart. 

"You know I always wanted a dog," she said. She could have said it in a whisper from 100 yards away and you still would have heard her–  that is how eerily quiet it is. 

Yelena squeezes your hand and you squeeze back. She's probably remembering the movie. You try to distract her by saying, "Oh yeah? You can have one of mine then." 

Yelena laughs, then stops. "You serious?" 

"As a heart attack." You finally reach the door to the shed and unlatch the door. A chorus of barks begin and you charge forward to nudge them back to give Yelena space to come in as well. "I do some breeding up here–  just a side job. They're usually working dogs but they can be pets too." 

Buck licks your face from chin to forehead and you push him back. "Down, boy! Show some respect!" 

Yelena has two of the mongrels circling her, sniffing all her clothes and demanding to be pet. "That's Burt, Barney, and Bella. Buck's my stud, but these heathens are going to a farm. They've got sheep to watch." 

Yelena chuckles as her hands get covered in slobber. "I love them." 

They're almost grown, three quarters the height of their father. Buck didn't even look in Yelena's direction because he knows you give him treats. You take your scarf off as the heat of the shed threatens to smother you and search your pockets for jerky.  

"She's in there with the new puppies." You point to a darkened closet. "Don't get too close now, she's still a little protective." 

Yelena creeps closer. You see her look at you from the corner of her eye. Probably terrified by the morphing dog scene from the movie. You give her an encouraging smile and tell her where to find the light. It's a pull cord and it bathes the room in a warm golden yellow light. 

Yelena's heavy, controlled breathing turns into a coo. Mama dog is laying on her side watching the newcomer closely. There's a pup asleep in the nest of her legs, another chewing on the hay that litters the ground, and the last one is biting their mother's ear. Yelena looks back at you with an adorable pout on her lip. 

"So cute…" 

You chuckle and put your arm around her. Buck knows to steer clear of mama dog and slinks off. You make your guest walk closer with you to show mama she's got your confidence. 

"Yelena, this is Beyonce." Mama dog's ears perk at the sound of her name. "Beyonce, this is Yelena. Be nice." 

You reach down and scoop up the hay eating puppy at your feet. "This one's always hungry." 

You put the pup in her arms and scoop up the biter. "This one likes to play. All the time. Got more energy than the blue Energizer bunny actually." 

The pup in question is literally trying to wriggle out of your hands in its eagerness to climb you and eat your hair. 

"And that one sleeps a lot?" Yelena nodded her head at the last pup. 

"Pretty much." You put the writhing excited puppy down before it hurts itself and look up into the rafters. "And then there's the climber…" 

You both turn your heads when you hear a tiny bark. A cute little face stares down at you from the rafters and there's a feather stuck to its nose. You shake your head knowing this pup got it from ripping up pillows in another part of the dog house. 

"Better go get her," you said, not moving an inch to do so.  

Yelena sees your challenge and rises to it. As if trained to do exactly so, she assesses the wooden interior for foot and hand holds. You can see the wheels turning in her head as she calculates what will and won't support her weight. In the sweep of a single moment, she rises from the door and swings herself into the rafters using a build up a momentum to propel her fast in an upperward direction. She completes the climb and balances with ease, reaching out to collect the happy wagging miscreant from her mountain top, tucks her in her jacket and climbs a different way down. 

You stare at her. "Were you raised by trapeze artists?" 

Yelena laughs. "I thought everybody was." 

The pup is safe and happy and eager to explore its new friend. Yelena lets her lick, sniff, and scratch at her skin, her clothes, her hair. The pup catches Yelena with a tiny lick right on the tip of her nose and Yelena looks back at you with adoring eyes. 

You smile. "Got a name for her already don't you?" 

"Yes," Yelena whines, "no, are you sure about this? I should probably tell you I've never had a dog before…" 

"I can tell your good people," you reply. "And smart as a whip. You'll adapt, just call me if you ever need anything." 

~

Three weeks later you get a phone call from an unknown number. It's Yelena giving you an address and making you swear never to tell anybody about it. You don't have any friends so it's an easy secret to keep. 

You drive a few miles south and stumble upon a stationary trailer in the middle of nowhere, nothing but clearings and trees and sky. Actually very similar to your own home. 

The door opens and Yelena greets you with a beer and the pup under her arm, already almost a foot bigger than she was before. 

"Her name is Fanny." You both laugh yourselves hoarse and pile into the trailer to puppy proof the place. 

[dreamescapeswriting]

Safe & Sound ~ OT7 [Request]

WORD COUNT: 4.5K

GENRE: Angst with a fluffy ending, platonic friendship with the boys, fighting, 

PAIRING: Platonic ot7 x Fem!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy this my love! Sorry it’s a little late my laptop completely gave out on me so I had to steal my brothers >.< I hope that this fic is okay for you and that Y/n isn’t too easily forgiving! I am working on that for you guys like I said before

The room was so hot it felt as though you were going to melt into a puddle on the seat, a heatwave had made its way through Seoul and Sejin made a decision to have a conference with the boys in the hottest room in the HYBE building. It was one of the hottest days in the year and instead of being out in the sun you were trapped in a meeting room waiting for Jimin to come and meet you, the boys and Sejin to have a nice long discussion about the tour that was going to be coming up.

The way that Sejin paced up and down in front of you made you nervous, he called a meeting with you and the boys and of course, Jimin was running late but Sejin had no idea why leading him to believe that you did. Being close with each of the boys meant you must have known everything, even if you didn't.

"You sure you have no idea?" You shook your head as Sejin asked you for the fifteenth time if you knew where Jimin was, you did, but you weren't going to let onto the fact that you knew. Jimin was on a date with his secret girlfriend and you were covering for him, you and the boys were the only ones who knew who the boys were dating since it was in their contracts that they weren't supposed to but they were boys. They had needs just like everybody else had so you kept their secret. After all, you were their best friend, you'd been with them since they debuted and you were always going to stick by their sides no matter what.

"He probably slept through his alarm Sejin, you know what he's like," You suggested, trying to calm the manager down who simply sighed and nodded his head at you finally taking a seat at the desk while the other six boys thanked you with their eyes. They all knew where he was but you didn't know the exact details, you never wanted to know the details just who they were with and how long they were going to be.

"Sorry, I'm late! The alarm just didn't wake me up," You sighed in relief as a sweaty-looking Jimin sat down in a chair beside Yoongi, Sejin said nothing as he stood up and began making his way over to a whiteboard to begin discussing the arrangements for the new tour.

As their personal assistant, you were going to be going along with them everywhere, as you did every tour, it was fun. You got to explore the world with some of your best friends as well as get some front row seats to the best performances you'd seen, though you had seen them enough times you could probably perform them with the boys. You'd gotten to travel around the world with your best friends, seeing the sights, having fun and just relaxing despite it being your job.

"As usual we'll stay in the cities for two nights and then head out to the plane the next morning, bright and early. That means no one can be late," Sejin said with a stern voice as he stared at Jimin who was hiding behind a cup of iced tea and blushing, you bit down on your lip to stop yourself from laughing and waited for Sejin to finish his speech. Hoping it would be soon so you could get out of the room, it was like sitting in a vivarium, if this was how snakes felt all of the time you never wanted to be one.

"I didn't think he was going to stop talking," Jin moaned as he sat in front of the small mini-fridge that was in Yoongi's studio, the door open as he let the cold air hit his body. You and Namjoon on the other hand were laid on the flooring under the air-con machine being blasted with cold air, 

"I think I lost weight in there," You whined as you looked over at Jimin, his head in his phone clearly trying to apologise to his girlfriend who had ditched, 

"Is she okay with it? I'm sorry I couldn't get you out of it, I already got Jungkook out of a meeting last week," You spoke softly as Jimin glanced up at you, shaking his head. 

"It's not your place to make excused for us, don't be silly," You smiled weakly and laid your head back down on the floor as you watched the ceiling. All of the boys were dating and only you knew about it, no big deal. Namjoon had been together with his partner since the year after they debuted together, it was a surprise to you that no one else knew about them.

"How's your dating life going?" Hoseok asked as he fanned himself with a stack of papers from the coffee table, you scoffed at him whilst shaking your head. 

"I don't have time for dating, I'm too busy looking after you idiots," You mumbled sarcastically as you sat up slowly, thanking Yoongi who came into the room carrying cold drinks for everybody. 

"When was the last time you did something that wasn't for us?" Taehyung questioned, genuinely interested since to him all he seemed to him that you did was work, wor, work and sleep.

"Last week I went to that book shop-"

"Which you went to because Namjoon wanted the knew Leigh Bardugo book," Jungkook interrupted as he smirked at you.

"But I still went and got some things for myself." You grumbled, wanting to move on from this conversation as it made you uncomfortable. 

"Y/n can do what she wants, when she wants she just choices to look after us," Yoongi reminded them as he could see how uncomfortable you were getting about the subject, 

"Anyway, you need to listen to this new song, so come on." He quickly headed over to his computer and began typing as he searched for one of the songs he'd been working on, while you carefully snuck out of the door and headed to your office for the day. 

"I'll walk you to your car," Jimin said as you walked into the elevator together, you glanced up at him and smiled weakly. It had been a long day of organising things for the upcoming tour, making sure the hotels you were going to visit had everything the boys would need as well as running around the building to make sure the boys had what they needed that day. Your head was spinning so fast you thought you were going to need a week-long nap just to make up for it, 

"Can you drive me home instead? I feel like I might fall asleep," You whined, laying your head down on his shoulder as he chuckled hitting the garage floor buttons and nodding his head. It wasn't completely out of the ordinary for one of the boys to drive you home or for you to drive them home you were like a happy family and they always looked out for you. 

"Sure, I'll get Jin-Hyung to pick me up from yours," He chuckled as he waited for the lift to move, laying his head on top of yours as you shut your eyes for a second wanting to rest them. 

"Thank you for covering for me, I didn't mean to stay at Mina's last night, we just had a long night." You laughed softly while shaking your head,

"It's fine, you don't have to explain anything to me Jimin, just make sure you're on time or Sejin might get suspicious. I don't mind you boys dating as long as you can keep it under wraps, you know that." You poked his cheek as you stood up straight, getting out on your floor and giving your car keys to Jimin who began following you in the direction of your company car. 

"What are you doing for your eighth year with the company?" He questioned, trying to make small talk to keep you awake for a little while longer, he knew how bad your sleeping patterns would get if you went to sleep now. 

"I'm thinking of taking a week off, maybe go and have a holiday? You keep pestering me to do," You laughed softly as you got into the passenger side door of the car and watched Jimin as he started the engine, he always looked so confident when he drove compared to when he first passed his test and was always so nervous to even start up an engine. 

"What?" He stared at you thinking he'd done something wrong but you shook your head with a smile, 

"Nothing, you just look confident, it's a good thing." You whispered as you stared out of the window focusing on everything you were passing by as Jimin tried to make some basic conversation with you. 

The next morning there was a weird feeling in your stomach that something was going to happen or that something bad had already happened and you had yet to figure out what it was. The boys hadn't replied to your calls or texts and Sejin was telling you there was an urgent meeting you had to be in right away with no excuses. 

"Morning Ted, did your baby arrive yet?" You laughed softly looking up at the security guard as you signed in. Normally you would exchange small talk about his pregnant wife but today he seemed stand-offish and was ignoring you as he handed you your ID card and took your bag to scan it through. 

"Everything is clear." Frowning at the way he was acting you headed over to the elevators ignoring the glances you were getting from people around you, it could have just been your imagination but they were whispering under their breath and pointing at you.

"I heard that it dropped late last night and she's the only one capable of knowing everything." The doors shut before you could hear anything else that one of the cleaners was saying, the feeling you had that morning tripled in size and your legs felt like jelly, you could have sworn you were going to throw up at any second. Rumours in this place were the worst kind of rumours, they could make you lose your job or have you arrested, no one seemed to think before they spoke around there and any kind of news true or false spread like wildfire. 

"Morning Sejin, everyone is acting rather odd-" You stopped talking when you walked into one of the smaller conference rooms to see the boys sitting around the table with Sejin, all staring at you in silence as Sejin clicked on his laptop. Behind him on the projector screen appeared different articles about the boys all with yesterday's and today's date on them, each of them detailing the dating lives of the members with photographs.

"What the fuck," Your bag dropped from your shoulder and onto the floor as your eyes scanned over the screen, more and more articles popping up the more Sejin clicked on his keyboard.

"What happened? I thought you told me you would be careful!" You yelled staring at the boys who were all staring back at you, Yoongi scoffing as he shook his head at you. 

"There Y/n goes, shifting the blame onto somebody else," Your heart began to pound against your chest as you realised they thought that it had been you to leak the stories to the press. 

"What?" You stuttered out looking from Sejin to the boys, all of them had the same look of disgust on their faces as they looked at you. Well all of them except for Jungkook who seemed to have his head in his hands.

"We trusted you!" Namjoon hissed as he got up from the chair, slamming the palm of his hands against the wood as he locked eyes with you. It felt as though you were being told off by a parent only worse, this time you knew you'd done nothing wrong and yet they were going to blame you without any form of proof. 

"Why would I go to the media? I've been working here for eight years, why would I go and throw away eight years of work and friendship?" You pleased with them, trying to make them see the sense in what they were saying, you would never do anything like this to them. Not to mention you'd signed thousands of contracts stating that you couldn't speak to anybody about what was happening outside of that building.

"No one else knows about it, no one but us and you," Yoongi mumbled, folding his arms over his chest as he stared out of the window. He couldn't bring himself to look at you, he felt betrayed in so many different ways. 

"Is this how one of our songs was leaked four years ago?" Namjoon was hurling accusations at you but you shook your head, there was no way you were going to let them put the blame onto you for this. Not when you had nothing to do with it.

"Why would I do something like that? I'm your friend-"

"No you're not, you've never been our friend. You've been using us since the start," Jungkook finally spoke as he got up from his chair, you glanced over at him to see his eyes were bloodshot from crying, Sejin looked over at the door as someone knocked on it and he excused himself. 

"I haven't been using you, I've been here since you debuted, I've been working with you guys. You're like my brothers, why would I ever hurt you like this?!" You were yelling now as they continued to put the blame onto you, you knew yelling wasn't going to make them see the truth but it was the only way you thought you could heard over them. 

"Tell us we're wrong then, tell us you didn't go to the media with all our date stories," Hoseok said as he stared at you, arms folded over his chest as if he was challenging you to do something. 

"Fine. You're wrong. I would never do something so idiotic," You stared at Jimin who had yet to say a word to you,

"Jimin took me home and I went to bed last night, I could barely lift my head up." You began going over in your mind what you had done the night before, there was no way you would do something like this. 

"The sources came from your email account, your name was used to sign off on each source," Taehyung mumbled, getting up and pointing to the source materials all of the media outlets had been using. 

"It's not that hard to get my email online, it's not that hard to find my name-"

"STOP LYING TO US!" Jimin finally cried out, red in the face from anger as he let tears stream down his cheeks, your heart felt as though it was breaking from the sight alone. 

"Jimin...Please, I would never do something like this to you." Tears began to well up in the corner of your eyes as you wished he would believe you, hoping that was some way he would take your side through all of this. 

"It's a good trick though, pretending to be our friend and then selling stories behind our backs," Yoongi said sarcastically as he sat back down in the chair it looked as though he'd already made up his mind on what had happened, they all had. 

"You're a disappointment," Jungkook hissed, venom dripping from his words as he stormed out of the room, you begged him to stay but he ignored you. 

"Why would we ever trust a snake, like you?" Another stab to the heart as Jin stormed out of the room with the words, you turned to look at Jimin who was normally the one to take both sides during a discussion but this time he seemed to have already made up his mind and he was set in his way. 

"You have to believe me, I would never-"

"Then how do you explain it?! How do you explain everyone knowing it all! You're the only one that knew all of this information Y/n! Just fucking own up to it and don't be so stupid," He yelled in your face making your breathing hitch in your throat, you watched him walk out of the room followed by Yoongi, Taehyung, Hoseok leaving you alone with only Namjoon who was shaking his head at you.

"Joonie-"

"Only my friends get to call me that, we never should have trusted you." He rubbed his temples and you knew what that meant, he was trying to make a decision about something and your heartbroke. It was about you and you knew it. 

"To make things easier, since no one believes me anyway, you can stick your job," You mumbled, snapping the lanyard that carried your ID inside and dropping it onto the desk. Followed by the company car keys, 

"I'll give you the apartment key when I move out," You grumbled, walking out of the room and slamming the door behind you. 

"Don't act like you're better than us! You did this to yourself!" Yoongi yelled as you joined him in the hallway outside of the meeting room, you scoffed at him as you finally let the tears go. 

"You know what, you've already made your decision so it clearly doesn't matter. What happened to innocent until proven guilty?!" You yelled back at him, you didn't need to worry about losing your job since you'd already quit, there was nothing holding you back anymore. 

"What happened to, "Y/n you're our best friend, no matter what?', or is that all just bullshit now?" You yelled out, eyes scanning over their faces as the elevator let you know it was on the floor. Ted got out and you knew he was there for you.

"We never should have hired you," Jimin laughed as he looked at you, everyone on that floor began to come out of their rooms to get a look at what was happening as if it was something happening on their TV show instead of right in front of them, 

"We never should have hired a stupid girl who no one else wanted, someone who ruins everything that she touches!" You stiffened up your back as you heard him, Ted touched your upper arm but you moved away from him walking yourself into the elevator as you shook your head.

"You guys act like you're so sweet and yet you're toxic to the one person who's only ever always been there for you." You mumbled, hitting the bottom floor button before the doors shut, leaving them behind as you sunk down onto the floor crying at the thought of them hating you forever.

"Do you think we were too harsh?" Hoseok whispered as he sat in the dorms later that night with Jungkook and Taehyung, all three of them were regretting what they had said while the others stayed in their rooms not speaking with one another.

"No, I mean...There was no one else it could have been, she didn't have to lie to us," Taehyung grumbled as he poked at his food with his chopsticks, he'd lost his appetite all day being worried about what you were going through back at the apartment you were staying in.

"Well, I mean not really...It could have been any one of the girls we're dating..." Jungkook whispered as he looked over at Hoseok who sighed to himself, none of them had thought it through before accusing you of being the one to leak information.

"Why would they though?" Taehyung frowned, he knew his girlfriend would never do something that could potentially ruin their relationship.

"Why would who, do what?" Namjoon questioned hearing the end of their conversation, 

"Jungkook thinks one of our girlfriends could have been the one to leak the information but why would they? I mean, unless it was out of spite but I don't think they would," Hoseok explained, thinking back to his girlfriend and shaking his head, he knew she would never betray his trust that way but Namjoon's face seemed to turn pale and it looked as though he was beginning to sweat.

"Namjoon?" Jungkook questioned, confused as to why the leader looked as though he'd just seen a ghost roaming around the halls of the dorms. 

"I mean- What if it was one of our girlfriends...I- Me and Jessi had a fight last night and we broke up...She knows everything Y/n knows and more...She never liked Y/n either so she would do it to spite us all..." The room suddenly fell cold even though it was a heatwave and the boys all panicked, darting for their phones to try and contact you while Namjoon tried to piece everything together and think of a way to get it out of his ex that she did or did not do it.

Getting it out of Jessi wasn't easy but after HYBE ordered a warrant to go through her internet histories finding everything came from her IP address, including multiple email accounts created under your name and address the boys instantly tried to get into contact with you but you had blocked their numbers wanting nothing more to do with people who thought that you were lying to them. 

"I bought a coffee, to make up for things," Jungkook said as you walked out of your apartment to find him standing there staring at you. HYBE had allowed you to stay in the apartment until you found another place to live and the boys had been sending over non-stop gifts to try and say sorry to you, this was the first time you'd seen any of them face to face since it happened. 

"You think a coffee, some flowers and a huge 'I'm Beary sorry' teddy bear are going to make up for it?" You scoffed, pulling the strap of your bag over your shoulder, making your way towards the building's main elevator where the rest of the boys were waiting. They knew there was nothing they could do, say or give to you that would even begin to make up for what they said and did to you. Embarrassing you in front of everyone that was in that hallway that day, yelling at you, accusing you of something you'd never done in your life.

"No, but it's a way of us saying sorry and starting to mend what we broke," Jungkook whispered, Jimin glanced up at you as you looked over each of them. It was obvious how sorry they all were but if you forgave them so easily who was to say that they wouldn't do it all over again? You didn't want them to use you like you were some kind of mug.

"Will you think about it?" Namjoon questioned as you got into the elevator without saying anything to them but you had no idea what to say, it was hard. After eight years you thought they trusted you as much as you trusted them but clearly, you were wrong about that fact. 

"I guess...But it hurt, knowing that after all these years you didn't believe me." You looked up at them as they all looked down at the ground apologetically. 

"We're sorry," They each said as the doors shut, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your vibrating phone. Sejin had been trying to get in contact with you since he found out it was all Jessi, he wanted to get you to come back to your job and apologise for what had happened but you ignored his calls and voicemails. You just needed some time and space to think everything over, things would never go back to the way they were. You'd never be able to be as close with the boys as you once were but it was worth a shot. Right? 

The last few weeks consisted of sneaking into the HYBE building without the members knowing, signing all new contracts to work with a different team and group as well as trying to mend your business relationship with Sejin. Since you felt betrayed by him and the boys you no longer wanted to work under them but that didn't mean you couldn't be friends and still work for the company. After eight years you decided you weren't just going to throw it all away for nothing. 

"You're here?" Jimin questioned as he walked into one of the lounge area's in the building to see you standing with JR from NU'EST, he was talking to you about something he wanted brought to him. 

"I am, I'm working though so if you want something you'll have to walk and talk," Jimin frowned as he followed you out into the hallway, following you around as you headed towards the canteen to get a coffee. 

"You're working for NU'EST now?" He questioned, watching you closely as you nodded your head, turning to look up at him with a weak smile. 

"This was the only way I could think of saving a friendship...I couldn't work for you or Sejin again so I'm with NU'EST...I'll see you around and we can develop our friendships again," He knew that you were coming from a good place and it was nice to know you were willing to work on your friendships with them but he couldn't help but feel hurt by you choosing to sign with a different band after everything you'd done with them.

"Jimin...This was the only way I could come back to work," You whispered as he nodded at you, following you back up to the lounge and he told all of the boys what was happening. 

Days at the company turned into weeks which turned into months of you working for the new group, working alongside them while working on your friendship with the NU'EST members as well as the BTS boys again, wanting nothing more than your friendship to be as strong as it once was and it was back at that point. You felt as though you could trust them and get along with them better, 

"It feels good to have you back," Jungkook said as he handed you a plate of food, all eight of you were at the dorms eating take-out and watching some bad movie that Hoseok had picked out. It was your monthly movie night that you used to have together, it was nice to know that everything was clicking back into place and you were developing growth with them.

"I CALLED IT!" Yoongi yelled as the two side characters began to make out in the forest before being killed by the movie killer, it was a tradition between you all to make bets on movie cliche's that would be used within the movies.

"It was so obvious," You mumbled putting the money you owed him into his hand before stealing one of the spring rolls from his plate and eating it happily. It was safe to say everything was back to the way it should have been in the first place, the way things were happy. You felt as though you were back home safe and sound.

Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @rjsmochii​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @innersooya​ @sw33tnight​ @jin-from-the-block​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​

[xx-narcissa]

Can’t Wait Any Longer

warnings: kidnapping, poisoning, noncon

a/n: i wasn’t comfortable with full on smut right now, i’m still easing into it. but i hope that this was written to your liking!

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Female!Avenger!Reader

request: “We can have dark! r x nat where r is an avenger and is in love with nat but nat never pays attention to her, so r decides to kidnap her maybe with some smut only if you feel comfortable.”

Masterlist

(not my gif)

Your blood boiled as you watched the scene in front of you. Bruce kissing her hand in front of everybody with no shame. He should be ashamed. That was your hand to kiss and he was just all on it! And she let him. Giggling and blushing like a middle school girl getting a love note from her crush.

“Aw. Young love.” Tony chuckled and took a big sip of his beer. You wanted to smack the glass bottle out of his hands for that comment. “Better enjoy it while it lasts, Bruce.”

Yeah. He better enjoy it. Because you’re going to make it your mission to take her back. Although you never really had her in the first place. But she’s yours. Bruce doesn’t deserve her. Nobody deserves her. Because they could never give her what you can. They could never love her like you do. She just doesn’t see that. Always brushing you off to the side.

It was a mission in Canada, so naturally it was pretty cold. And seeing as it was the middle of January, it was very cold. You offered her your jacket. “No, you keep it. I’m fine.” Even when you insisted, she turned you down. Yet later you see her casually sporting Steve’s jacket. What’s up with that? You wanted to confront her. What did his jacket have that yours didn’t? But Wanda assured you it wasn’t a big deal. And that’s not even the only time she’s done something like that. You and her were in the kitchen after a mission, and she complained about her shoulders being sore. So you offered to massage them, claiming you know a really good way to relieve tension. You didn’t. But it was just an excuse to be able to feel her. She turned you down. Then later she’s bragging to Wanda about how good Tony is at massages. What was so special about him? Nothing! But it seemed like Natasha would stop at nothing to push you away.

You don’t even know what you did to deserve that kind of treatment. Sure, you flirt with her a lot. But it’s never to a creepy extent. Just casual compliments and offering to do her favors. If she wasn’t into you, she could just turn you down using her words and then maybe you’d back off. But instead she was playing hard to get.

And that only made you want her more.

-=-

There was a mission today. A two person mission. You and Natasha. This would be a perfect chance for the two of you to get closer. It’s a week long stakeout. Usually you don’t like stakeouts, since you feel it’s a waste of your powers. You can literally summon fire with your hands and not get burnt and they want you to watch a building? How boring. But since it’s with Natasha, you won’t complain. Alone time with her is a reward in its own. And it gives you a chance to finally execute the plan you’ve been working on for weeks.

“Guess this is where we’re staying for the next week.” You sighed as the two of you entered the little apartment. The wallpaper was moldy and peeling, there were roaches crawling around, and it smelled like 50 diseased rats died in there.

She gagged and put her bag on top of the counter. “Well let’s just try to get this done quickly, so that we don’t have to spend any extra time here. It’s disgusting.”

Nodding in agreement, you continued to explore the apartment. There was only one bedroom with only one bed, so you made a mental note to let her sleep there, since it looked cleaner than the couch. The shower was just as disgusting as the main room, but you brought shower shoes so you could live with it. After your quick tour, you met back up with Natasha in the main room, where she was going through her bag.

“I’ll take the couch. You can have the bed.” You offered and sat down on the counter.

“Are you sure? That’s nice but I don’t want to take it all for myself. We could alternate if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. And trust me, the bed is way cleaner so if I were you I’d just take it.” You snapped. She flinched, and you knew you took it a bit too far. It’s just annoying when she constantly declines your offers when you’re just trying to be nice and make her comfortable. “Sorry. Just…yeah. You take the bed, I’ll go check the perimeter and see if there’s anything to eat nearby.”

After your perimeter check you picked up some sandwiches at the small subway they had down the street and brought them back up to the apartment. “Thanks, I’m starving.” She sighed happily when you walked in with food. To be honest, being back in that nasty apartment killed your appetite a bit, but you hadn’t eaten all day so you sucked it up and ate.

The two of you ate and got to talk a bit, getting to know each other some more. Well, she got to know you. But you already knew plenty about her. You’re just a good listener like that. The most important thing was that she was starting to trust you more, which would be a key part in putting your plan into motion.

Once you guys finished your mission and got all the information you needed, you still had a day to spare. So you decided you’d stay and just not tell them you were done yet, so you can get a little vacation, even if it is in a dingy, dirty apartment. It was your last morning there, so you wanted to surprise Natasha with some homemade breakfast. Special recipe.

“Good morning! You want pancakes?” She thought for a second before nodding. Great, she took the offer with none of her usual resistance. You placed some pancakes on a plate and gave her a glass of orange juice. “Tell me if you like it.” You smiled and sat down next to her to watch her eat. She ate the first bite cautiously, then ate the rest rather quickly.

After drinking all the juice, she slammed the cup onto the table. “Those were the best pancakes I’ve ever had.”

“Well, you know, I could always make you more.” You smiled and ran your fingers up her arm. And she smiled back. That’s a win in your eyes.

“I think I’ll have to take you up on that offer. But I’m pretty full right now. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go take a quick nap.”

You waved her off and then put the dishes in the sink. Everything was falling into place and you couldn’t be happier.

-=-

When her eyes opened, she didn’t know what was going on or where she was. It seemed like some abandoned factory by the looks of it. Her clothes didn’t belong to her. And she couldn’t even get up to look around, seeing as she was tied up on the floor.

In the shadows, she saw something moving. Maybe it would be her captor. And she could kick their ass and escape.

“Oh, you’re up! Great.” Her heart and her mouth dropped at the voice. “Sorry about the location. Couldn’t find anywhere comfortable on such short notice.”

She looked up at you with tears forming in her eyes. “What’s going on, why are you doing this? Are you being brainwashed or something?”

You laughed at her stupid questions. “What ever do you mean? This is all me, Natasha. I’m sorry to have to do this, but you brought it onto yourself. You could’ve had this.” You motioned towards yourself and got closer to her. “But no. You wanted to toy with me. Play hard to get. Pretend you don’t want me and then flirt with everyone else right in front of my face. Well I’m done playing those games. So no more playful flirting. I’m taking what’s mine.”

“You’re sick. I swear, I’m not to get out of here and then I’m going to kill you! Slowly and painfully.” She screamed and squirmed around in her restraints.

All her struggling was amusing to you. It gave you a good laugh. “I know you’re a trained assassin, but it’s not like you have superpowers. Without a gun you really pose no threat to me. Hell, if I’m not careful I could kill you right now.” Your hands ignited, displaying your pyrokinesis, just in case she had forgotten that you could burn her to a crisp whenever you would like.

It worked, because she shut up. She looked down at the ground in silence, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Oh, cheer up. Once your spirit is broken down enough and I know you won’t try anything funny, I’ll untie you and we can leave and live a happy life together. I might hurt you, but it’s just because I love you. I love you so much and it hurts me when you flirt with other people. So once you’re as loyal as I am, then we’ll get out of this smelly place. Okay?”

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t do anything. That angered you. So you slapped her in her face. The force being enough to topple her over. And that wasn’t even the hardest you could’ve hit her. “Answer me, bitch!” You yelled and got close to her face, probably getting some spit on her but you didn’t care. “Do you understand me?”

She nodded frantically and tried to move away from you. So you let her squirm for a second before pulling her back. Seeing the Black Widow shaking in fear really turned you on. You needed to see her. To feel her.

“You know, you should thank me. I changed your clothes and I didn’t even touch you down there. I restrained myself.” You grabbed her hips and dug your nails into them, pulling her closer. “Mainly because I want to hear you when I fuck you. I want to see what your pretty little face looks like when you’re all filled up. But also because I’m decent. So, yeah, you’re welcome.”

You closed the gap between you two and your lips collided with hers. For you it was heaven. It was erotic and steamy and everything you’ve ever wished for. But for her it was a completely different story. It was hell. Sloppy, painful, and lacking any true feelings. Even if she wasn’t kissing you back, you still enjoyed yourself. Your hands went underneath the shirt you gave her, cupping her braless breasts. She involuntarily leaned into your touch, moaning softly, allowing you to slide your tongue into her. Your hand slid down, cupping her heat through her panties, feeling the wetness of her arousal. “See? You’re enjoying yourself,” You pulled away from the kiss to say. You kissed down her neck, biting and leaving marks. She hated how her body betrayed her and got turned on. But there wasn’t anything she could do about it. You were in control.

And she hated the feeling of emptiness she felt when you stopped and stood back up, leaving her still on the ground. “Yeah. We’re gonna have so much fun. Not yet, but soon. Until then, I’ll be back. I’m going to go get some food. You stay here.” You laughed at your own sentence, “Get it? It’s funny ‘cause you can’t go anywhere!” You continued to laugh until you had left the warehouse, leaving her alone and confused.

You were gone for probably two hours. But to Natasha it felt like days. The whole time she was looking for a way out, yet there was nothing. You were thorough with this place, making sure there wasn’t anything sharp she could reach to cut the rope, or anything she could climb on to get out through one of the windows.

When you came back, Natasha was curled into a ball silently crying. “Cheer up. I got you some food from this nice ramen place. Maybe I can take you there one day.” You put the food down on the floor in front of her and even gave her some water.

“You know, they’re going to wonder why I never came back. And then they’re going to find me and kill you! Pervert!” She spat. Instead of arguing back like she wanted you to, you laughed and walked away, leaving her alone to eat. The rest of the day she sat there thinking about how alone and scared she was. She didn’t know if she’d ever see her family again.

You won. This time.

[midearthwritings]

The reason we get along

No matter how serious the task is, there is always someone to joke around.

Words Count : 1,026

Pairing : Kíli & Reader

Warning : None

Author's Note : Requested by @dark-angel-is-back . I changed the plot a teeny tiny bit, hope you still like it!

It was a dream common to all beings to travel and see the world, in your opinion. It had been a great honor to be asked along on a quest that would help fulfill this dream. And greater honor to explore this unknown lands alongside the King Under the Mountain, in order to help him regain his long lost Kingdom. The path to the end of your journey was still long, it was no doubt. You had still many things left to see and many people yet to meet. You knew that when you would go back home—if— you would be a different person. Stronger and wiser, awakened.

But on a quest as serious and important as the one of reclaiming The Lonely Mountain, there was only so much time left for fun. And, far from you the idea of complaining, really, your mother hadn't raised you to be ungrateful. You just wished to see a smile on your companions' faces from time to time. Or, at least, not have them looking so serious and moody at all times.

And this was how, one day, you decided to make it a personal mission of bringing a little bit of joy in this adventure.

For days, you kept thinking of a way to give everyone a good laugh. Oh you had had many ideas, such as starting a food fight or pouring some water on someone's head when they didn't expect it. But you quickly chased them away when you realized the only outcome would be Thorin's wrath. And being lectured about how precious food was or how someone was going to get sick wasn't something you particularly wanted. Much less if it was by the King.

You had pretty much given up your wicked plan when one day, an opportunity presented itself to you.

As the company was setting camp for a well earned rest day, and you were ruminating alone in a corner about not being able to pull a smile out of them, you saw it. Him. The dwarf was coming back from fetching wood for the fire with his brother, and he was happily chatting. Kíli always looked so happy. And he was a good friend, really. The chances of offending him were weak. So, as the prince turned his back to your and bent down to get rid of the stack of branches his arms were busy with, you didn't think twice. Like a predator attacking its prey, you bolted towards him. In a swift movement, your fingers hooked in the hem of his breeches and pulled them all the way down to his ankles.

When you pulled back, everybody was quiet. The heaviness of the atmosphere made you doubt it all. And the way Kíli stood there, not saying anything, was terrifying. Perhaps you had been wrong and you just had disrespected the dwarf. After all, he was of royal blood.

The thought of running away from this situation crossed your mind when a loud snicker reached your ears.

"Well, it looks like you have lost something, brother."

Fíli's comment was soon followed by Dwalin's roaring laughter and you finally breathed—a breathe you didn't know you were holding. And one by one, every member of the company started to laugh, or at least let out an amused huff. Even Thorin.

The cacophony only grew louder when Kíli quickly pulled his garment back up, almost tripping.

It was refreshing, really, to see their faces so relaxed and hear the music of their joy. Happiness looked good on them.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice as your friend came closer to you. Dangerously closer, a grin painted on his face. Before you knew what was happening, you felt your back hitting the ground beneath you, Kíli's body holding your legs down firmly. Your eyes locked with his and you saw it, the glint of mischief the others always talked about.

"You better apologize, or I will make you regret your actions."

You raised your eyebrow at his playful threat and crossed your arms on your chest.

"And how so?" You asked defiantly. "By investing in a belt? I believe it would serve you well."

That's when it came. The sweet cramps in your middle. The pleasant torture of your friend tickling you. Instinctively, you tried to kick him away with your legs, but his weight kept them in place. Instead, you slapped his chest, in an attempt to make him retreat.

"Brother," he adressed Fíli, his eyes still on you. "Will you please give me your help?"

"As you asked so nicely."

All too soon, strong hands grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, and the predator became the prey. You were at Kíli's mercy. You looked up to the blonde dwarf and mouthed the word traitor, with some trouble due to his brother's ministrations on your body.

"Do you yield?"

The archer's question was simple, and it required a very simple answer. But the wiggling fingers between your ribs made it impossible to utter a single word. The only thing you could do was shake your head as you desperately gasped for air.

"Very well." He declared.

You barely had time to see the smile on his face growing bigger before his digits dug deeper into your sides. It was painful, deliciously painful. Your head was thrown back, your neck exposed as you laughed loud enough to make your lungs explode. Your nails were biting into Fíli's clothes, your feet kicking at the ground behind Kíli.

"Alright! I surrender!"

As you desperately cried out the words, the dwarves' hands left your body and you were left lying down, trying to catch your breathe.

Kíli offered you his hand and you happily grabbed it. He helped you back up on your feet, as you still giggled from the sensations.

"Next time," Kíli spoke up. "I'm not stopping until you are begging me to."

He winked at you, and once again, the three of you barked in laughter.

And if you found yourself, a few days later, with your own breeches down your legs, well, it was only fair. Wasn't it?

[tanyawritesstories]

Friendly Competition | Boost x Reader

This is a fic I wrote a long time ago and I'm only now posting. I haven't written in months and I'm honestly thinking about quitting but regardless, here you go I hope you like it.

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: NSFW, smut, vibrators, butt plugs, general mischief, anal exploration (the good kind), fluff, Sinker is nosey

•••

It wasn't often that you visited these kinds of stores. You usually just ordered the products from the holonet and waited for them to be delivered, but you were out and about with your boyfriend and it was his last day on leave. You both had been walking through the mid levels of Coruscant and seen the store. You decided it would be worth it to try and find something fun to spice things up while you were away.

You and Boost had both kept your jacket hoods up as you entered. Boost looked around curiously while you kept your head tilted down just enough to hide the permanent blush staining your cheeks. Sure, you'd been in sex toy stores before, but that time was with a group of friends where the attention wasn't on you and you could easily blend into the group and not be noticed.

Boost took your hand in his, interlacing your fingers together as you roamed the store, browsing. "You're not usually the shy one," he whispered. You looked up at him, finding a teasing smirk on his handsome face. Your face turned even more red and you buried your head in his chest, causing him to laugh. He put his arms around you and held you to him, loving how much bigger he was than you. You closed your eyes and nuzzled into him, resting the side of your head against his warm body. You listened to his heartbeat, it was one of the things that comforted you the most.

You opened your eyes after a moment and spotted an interesting object across the room. You broke away from Boost and made your way to it. Plucking the box off the shelf you glanced over it, a number of wicked ideas popping into your brain.

"Baby," you called sweetly, "come here please." You turned around and hid the box behind your back, watching as Boost walked closer with a suspicious look on his face. "Oh no," he said, "what've you found?" You smiled. "If I ask nicely will you wear this?" You brought the box out from behind your back. Boost's eyebrows shot up on his face as he looked at the image on the box.

"A vibrating buttplug?" He questioned. "Are you serious?" You giggled, "c'mon babe, it'll be fun." Boost crossed his arms over his chest and sighed.

It was a recent discovery that Boost liked anal. You had been in the middle of giving him a mind shaking blowjob when you decided to be bold. Your fingers were slicked up with spit and precum so you had slowly pushed one fingertip inside him. He came instantly, letting out the most heavenly noises you'd ever heard him make. You both had discussed it afterwards and Boost had shown interest in exploring the realm further. You figured this was a good next step, you also loved to be a tease.

"Please Boostie, baby. Please! It'll be fun, I promise," you pleaded. "Look at you, begging in public," he teased. Your blush deepened and you glared at him through your eyelashes. "Please," you whispered. Boost sighed and stared at the ceiling, thinking. A sly smirk formed on his face, making you uneasy.

"I will wear that if.." he took a few steps back and picked something off another shelf, "..you wear these."

You looked at him in disbelief. "Vibrating panties? That's where you're taking this?"

"It's only fair," he said. "You wear these one day and I'll wear that the next." You thought about it, another fantastic idea coming to mind.

"Alright, you wear this one day on campaign and I have the controller. Then I'll wear those another day and give you the controller. When we get back and go to 79s like we always do, we'll both wear them."

Boost nodded. "The goal is you can't draw any suspicion, try to be as quiet and collected as possible while the other one of us teases the other with the controller. Whoever breaks first loses."

You nodded and walked to stand next to him. "No touching allowed, only tease with the vibrator. If anyone manages to guess exactly what we're both doing, which I doubt, then we both lose." Boost smiled, "Deal."

~~~~

Luckily, this campaign would be a short one, only a week long supply mission. You snuck your toy contraband into the cruiser with no trouble, hiding both small boxes amongst your clothes.

You were a strategist, normally coming up with battle plans. General Plo Koon had put you in charge of this mission, hoping to give you more assignments in the future that didn't just include destroying things.

The General was currently attending business at the Jedi temple, leaving you and Commander Wolffe in charge of the entire operation. You could tell Wolffe wasn't a fan of it, but he would do his job without complaint.

After the first couple days of traveling, the cruiser had arrived above the planet. The first day of delivering supplies to the surface was also the first competition day.

Boost had made sure that the vibrator was working and in its proper place when you got ready this morning. He had watched you the entire time you got ready, twirling the small controller in his hand giddily.

“You had better be nice,” you warned lightly. “Oh I won’t,” Boost laughed. He had a sexy but dangerous look in his eyes which was turning you on already. Not a good start.

The boring tasks of the day went by without any issue, until it was time for the briefing. You knew your boyfriend was bound to pull something here, but you didn’t know exactly what.

It’s ok, just act normal.

That was easier said than done.

The second you entered the room all eyes were on you, patiently awaiting the plan of action. You smiled at everyone and was making your way to the front of the room when you felt the vibrator start up. You let out a squeak and your knees buckled, you grabbed onto the table nearby for support. You laughed nervously and stood up straight, determined to win and keep a straight face.

“Alright everyone, classic supply mission nothing you all haven’t done before,” you started. Boost was sneaky, manipulating the controller without anyone knowing, spiking the intensity up and down quickly. The tiny jolts and deep breaths you were taking were causing a few of the men to give you weird looks as you talked.

“..and of course the remainder of the week will be spent making sure that the civilians have everything they neeeeed!” Your voice rose to a squeal at the end as you felt the vibrations increase significantly. You clenched your thighs together and your breathing picked up.

“Are you alright, sir?” You heard one of them ask. You looked up, eyes scanning the room, a few of the men looked concerned and others looked confused. You glanced over a Boost for a brief second to find him with a shit eating grin on his face, half hidden by his hand. The vibrations felt good, you just didn’t want it to feel good right now. The toy was positioned just over your clit, delivering pleasurable tingling that flowed through your body.

“Y/N.”

You stood up straight at the voice of Commander Wolffe, who was standing on the other side of the room. “Are you ok to continue, or are you not capable?” He questioned with an annoyed tone. You took a deep breath and steeled yourself. “I’m alright, Commander,” you said. The rest of the briefing went by without too much of a hitch, Boost was still being a little shit but you were determined not to let him win.

The entire day was filled with frustration. Boost wouldn’t let up, bringing you to the precipice of orgasming in front of a few civilians you were talking to, you wanted to slap him for that one. Every time he turned the vibrations high your knees would bend and you’d let out either a yelp or a moan that you tried to cover up. It got to the point where one of the medics pulled you aside and asked if there was something seriously wrong. You were able to convince him that you were fine and just tired. You walked triumphantly back to your tent as the day ended. You had won this round.

~~~~

You woke Boost up by laying on top of him and nuzzling your nose into his neck. He groaned, reluctantly opening his eyes to find you already looking at him. A few days on the planet had passed and it was now Boost’s turn to compete. “What time is it?” He grumbled. “Oh six hundred,” you answered, getting off of him and kneeling on his sleeping mat. “What do we have to do today?” Boost rubbed his eyes. “Same thing we did yesterday only in a different part of the city,” you responded. Boost looked up at you and you smiled deviously. “Guess what you have to wear today,” you said. You reached into your pocket and pulled out the silicone plug. “Did you seriously wake me up this early just to put a buttplug in me?” He asked with almost disbelief in his voice.

You giggled. “Maaayybeee. Everybody else is going to wake up soon so I suggest we get a move on.” Boost groaned again and rolled onto his stomach, putting his hips up in the air. You removed his blanket and rubbed his back to calm him down, he turned his head so he could see what you were doing. You had to admit, your boyfriend looked incredibly hot in this position: head down, ass up. It was causing your own arousal to spike; who knew, maybe if he liked this he’d let you peg him sometime down the road.

“It’s not gonna hurt, is it?” He asked. You smiled warmly at him as your hands wandered lower, rubbing gently over his bum. “No, it shouldn’t, sweetie. We got the smallest one they had, it’s not much bigger than my fingers,” you told him. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to, Boost.” He took a deep, calming breath, “No, I want to do it.” You smiled and kissed his cheek, “I will have to get you ready first, ok? I’m just going to use my fingers to stretch you out a little so you can take the toy, ok?” Boost nodded and verbally agreed.

You fished the small bottle of lube out of your pocket and slid his blacks and briefs down to his thighs. “You have a very cute butt, baby,” you commented, causing Boost to laugh. You touched your fingers to the crease where his ass and thigh met, slowly running your fingers up to their destination. Boost sucked in a breath as your fingers danced over his hole and his muscles tensed up. “You have to relax, baby,” you cooed, “otherwise it might hurt. Do you want me to touch your cock too? Might help you relax.” Boost shook his head and balanced his upper half on his elbows. “No, we agreed to no touching, just do what you have to do to get it in,” he urged.

You complied and reminded him to relax. You squirted some lube onto your index finger and some onto his hole, spreading it around. “I’m going to put my finger in now, ok?” Boost nodded and took a deep breath, exhaling when you told him to. On his exhale his muscles loosened and you slowly pushed your finger in just past the first knuckle. You could hear him bite back a moan and his breathing started picking up a little bit. You waited until he got used to it before beginning to thrust your finger in and out, pushing it a little bit deeper every time.

“How is it?” You asked. He let out a shaky breath. “Just get the plug in, I won’t last long if you keep doing that,” he breathed. You smiled, it was a good feeling knowing that you could get your boyfriend to the brink of bliss with just a finger in his ass. You carefully added a second finger, repeating the same slow motions and techniques to gently stretch him out. When you thought he was ready, you lubed up the toy and removed your fingers, enjoying the whining sound he made when he was empty.

You rested the toy against his ass and slowly pushed it in. Boost bit his lip to hold back the indecent noises threatening to spill out. "Just a little further," you encouraged. You used your other hand to trace his V lines and divert his attention to get him to relax. He shuddered and you noticed the erection that was being held down with the front of his briefs. One last small push on your part and the plug came to a rest inside him.

Boost let out a breath and you chuckled. "There's a good boy. How's it feel?" You questioned. He shifted his hips and wiggled around, trying to get used to the feeling. "It's a bit….odd," he said. You pulled his blacks and briefs back up and spanked him. "Stand up, it'll feel different," you urged, standing up yourself. He stood up with a sigh and a weird look in his face. "I think I'll get used to it," he said. "Let's start the day."

~~~~

This was fun, you were having a great time messing with your boyfriend. It had only been little things so far on the low to medium settings of the vibrator. You had teased just enough to make him squirm a bit. Once you did it while he was moving a box of supplies and he dropped the box, which nearly landed on his foot. You hadn't used the higher settings yet, you were saving those to make a big scene that you hoped would break Boost and give you the win.

That time came when the work for the day was done. Boost, Sinker, Comet and several other troopers were sitting around a table playing an intense game of Sabacc. You were sitting at a nearby table going over the plans for tomorrow and making sure everything would be taken care of by the time the battalion had to leave the planet. From your spot you had a clear view of Boost and could hear everything being said at their table. Time to start your game.

You turned the vibrator on and upped it a couple notches. You heard Boost suck in a breath and saw him tense up, but he steadied himself and continued. You let it go for a little while before cranking it a bit higher. He took a deep breath and glanced up at you, but you had your head back in the plans already. You waited a couple more minutes until Boost was once again concentrated on his game.

You kept your eyes on Boost as you cranked the vibrator up all the way. He instantly dropped his cards with a shout and clamped his hands on his knees. He was biting down hard on his bottom lip and his knuckles were turning white from his tight grip on his legs. You heard his brothers asking if he was alright and Boost tried to explain it away as a leg cramp, which wasn’t convincing at all. Boost took a few deep breaths, calming himself down and picking his cards back up. He wiggled a bit and leaned forwards in his seat so there was less pressure on the plug as opposed to sitting directly on it. After a few seconds their game continued as normal, you tried again a few times after that but got only small reactions from him. Boost looked over at you and winked, knowing he had won his round as well. You held back the urge to bonk him on the head, it would all come down to the final round in a few days.

~~~~

The supply mission had been a success, the citizens of the planet were grateful for the aid and they were well on their way to the complete restoration of their cities when the 104th had left. Now, back on Coruscant, Boost and yourself were just arriving at 79s where several more of his brothers waited. You were both wearing your toys tonight as part of the game that had been discussed. This was the final round, whoever broke, if anyone could, would be the loser. Neither of you had talked about a prize or reward for the winner, both too caught up in the idea of a fun and arousing game.

Boost and you entered the club and found his brothers waving you over to the table they had occupied already. You greeted them with smiles and went to sit down. The moment your butt hit the seat, Boost cranked the vibrations up high and you yelped, trying to stand back up and striking your knee hard on the underside of the table. Wildfire asked if you were ok and you assured him that you were before sliding uncomfortably into the booth to make room for Boost to sit next to you.

Warthog brought several drinks back to the table from the bar and you all chatted, laughed, and drank carelessly, enjoying the free time spent together. Boost was halfway through taking a sip of his beer when you turned his vibrator on, causing him to spit some of it back into his glass on reflex. He began coughing to try and cover up the moan he nearly let slip, all while you tried to hold back giggles and whimpers of your own.

A few minutes later, Boost put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side. It was nothing out of the usual for his brothers to see, but under the table he used his leg to nudge yours apart allowing your vibrator to land directly on your clit. You bit your lip and leaned your head into his chest, hoping none of them saw the blissed out look on your face. You turned Boost’s vibrator up a bit but he didn’t react, he’d gotten used to it and it was pissing you off. You were determined not to let him win.

When he least expected it, you carefully reached your hand over, under the cover of the table, and cupped his slowly growing length. You felt him buck into your hand and you made a point to be discreet, carrying on with conversation so no one suspected anything. You started rubbing Boost through his pants at which point he lowered his mouth to your ear. “You’re cheating,” he growled. You smiled and laughed, pretending he whispered a joke into your ear. “Yeah, well so are you,” you whispered back. You tried tugging your spread leg out from where he had it trapped under his own, but it was no use, Boost was strong. He glared at you and you glared right back for a few seconds until you both went back to acting normal, but Boost had an idea.

The next round of drinks came and the boys were starting to get more buzzed. You had your drink set on the table in front of you, you were about to reach for it when Boost reached across you in a hurry and knocked the glass of beer over. You gasped as the liquid spilled all down the front of you, you immediately knew he had done it on purpose, there was no way he didn’t. The rest of the boys asked if you were alright and you told them that there was no harm done.

“You want help cleaning that up, babe?” Boost asked, a suggestive look in his eyes. “Yes, that would be very helpful,” you replied. Boost told the boys that you would both be back soon before leading you back to the one-room refresher at the back of the club. As soon as the door was closed and locked, Boost was pushing you up against the wall, his lips colliding heatedly with yours. You made out, wrapping a leg around his hips to bring him closer and you could feel his hardened length against your thigh.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to restrain myself from pouncing on you while this thing was in my ass?” He asked, his breathing shallow. ��I swear I’ve never been more turned on in my life.” You smirked and brought your leg down. “I think we can make an arrangement,” you purred. You hooked your fingers on your panties and dragged them down your legs while Boost bunched your skirt up around your waist. “Fuck, you’re glistening,” he observed. Boost kicked your legs apart and slowly ran a finger up and down your slit, collecting your juices. You whimpered, his actions sending pleasure radiating through your body.

You quickly worked on unzipping his pants and shoving them down to his knees, watching his long cock spring free of its restraints. You whimpered at the sight and Boost felt your hole flutter as he pushed two fingers inside you. “Fuck the rules, I’m going to take you hard and fast against this wall, that ok?” Boost asked breathlessly. “Don’t make me wait,” you replied with a devious smile. You smashed your lips into his and Boost lined himself up before slamming inside you in one powerful thrust.

You screamed as your back arched from the feeling, your noises drowned out by the loud music. Boost’s cock always filled you so nicely and you felt him twitch inside you. “Holy fuck, this feels good, shiiiit,” Boost moaned loudly. You then remembered while you had taken off your vibrating panties, Boost still had his vibrator nestled snugly inside his asshole. He started to fuck you at a fast pace making noises you’d never heard your boyfriend make before, moaning and whimpering so loud you were glad for the blaring music outside. You wrapped your legs around his hips and your arms around his neck, meeting his thrusts and kissing his neck.

“Fuck, Boost, please harder,” you begged. Boost held you against him, absolutely destroying your pussy with the speed of his thrusts, the pleasure blaring through your body. “Babe, turn it up,” he grunted, “turn it up all the way and play with your clit, I’m close.” You fished the controller for his vibrator out of its hiding spot in your bra and turned it on max. You dropped the controller on the floor and used that hand to massage hard circles on your clit bringing you as close to release as your boyfriend.

Boost was overwhelmed with pleasure, his body felt like it was on fire. The plug in his ass was vibrating away, the feeling of being stuffed in his ass and strangled by your walls at the same time was mind blowing and Boost felt his release coming on fast. “I want you to cum before I do, baby,” he moaned, “aahhh, c’mon sugar, play with that clit.” His words in his voice only brought you closer, you could feel his cock twitching within you and with a few more strokes over your clit, you were cumming. White hot, liquid pleasure surged through you and your walls clamped tight around Boost’s cock. He thrusted a few more times and then stilled, his balls tightening as he shot his load deep inside you.

He reached behind him and pulled the plug out, letting it fall to the floor. He held you tight to him as your breathing settled down and you both came down from your highs. You both laughed and picked up your mess, washing off the vibrators and deciding not to wear them for the rest of the night. You both got dressed and tried your best to look like you hadn’t just fucked in the refresher of a club. You shared a sweet kiss before heading back out to the table.

Sinker was the only one still sitting at the table, the others had either gone to dance or get another drink. You sat down across from Sinker and Boost pulled you into his side. “So did you guys finally get those things out of your asses?” Sinker asked out of nowhere. You looked confused. “What things?” Sinker motioned vaguely to his lower body. “Those vibrators I assume you guys were wearing,” he answered like it was the most normal thing ever. “How did you know?” Boost asked, stunned that his brother had managed to figure it out. Sinker sat back in his seat, looking proud of himself. “I’m just that good,” he said. You and Boost shot him a guilty glare and he sighed. “I saw the packages in the trash,” he admitted.

You rolled your eyes and Boost laughed. “We tried so hard to be sneaky and we didn’t think to hide the packaging,” your boyfriend mused. “I guess this means we both lose,” you pointed out. Boost nodded in agreement and planted a kiss to the top of your head.

You’ll think of something better next time.

[deansmom]

(ao3) pls accept this very old mcdanno fic I never published, in which there are feelings and a kiss. also, soup snakes.

"So, Steven."

Steve smirks a little bit, leaning back against his desk like the smug asshole he is. This conversation has been a train wreck from the start. 

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Danny raises his voice for dramatic effect to accompany the accusing look he's shooting at Steve. "You and me."

"Have you ever considered that maybe I'm interrupting you because you talk in incomplete sentences when you're nervous?"

Danny glares at him and flails his hands around unhelpfully, "See, this! This is what I'm talking about!"

Steve rolls his eyes, "You weren't talking about anything Danny. We were tailing a suspect and you said, out of the blue, 'do you know what a soup snake is' and here we are.”

"This -" Danny shakes his head and runs a hand over his face, "You know, if you ever let me finish a sentence I wouldn't have to bring things up like that."

Steve grins as he watches Danny start ramping up to a full-blown rant-down (the Williams version of a meltdown). He gets up after a moment and sets a hand on the other mans shoulder, his smile a little kinder. "Hey. I'm listening."

Danny looks up at him and deflates. He brings both of his hands up to his face and groans, "Okay. Okay, so..."

He walks a few steps away from Steve and collects himself before saying, "So Gracie is reading this book, right? And it's been so long since she was excited about a book so I said sure, I'll read it with her, cause y'know, that's what you do, you read books you don't care about just to spend time with your daughter before she starts to hate you."

"Danny," Steve sighs and rests against his desk again, "Gracie could never -"

"Shut up," Danny interrupts with a flail. He's yelling with his hands. "Shut up or I'm never gonna get through this okay?"

Steve stays silent as way of answer. 

It takes another few seconds before Danny says, "So this book. Some actress wrote it and she was on that show The Office."

Danny turns to look out at the rest of the squad room and runs a hand through his hair, "She's got this friend and he's - he's her ex. Best friends though, like, the kinda thing you hope for growing up.

"And Mindy - that's the actress - everybody wants to know why they're not together. So she's got this chapter in this book and she says y'know, it's weird, their relationship, but they're soup snakes."

Steve has to bite his tongue. 

"And - Gracie, you know, she turns to me and she says, 'That sounds like you and Uncle Steve, Danno.'"

On instinct, Steve's body tenses up and he's got to remind himself to breathe. 

"So I'm thinking you know, she's just a kid, she doesn't know things. She's smart but she doesn't, you know - she doesn't know this."

Danny lets his head fall forward so it's resting as close to his chest as it can. "Do you know what soup snakes are, Steven?"

He has to take a moment to get his voice to work before he responds, "Uh... No, afraid I don't."

Danny spins around suddenly, and gestures around, "It's from an episode apparently. The main guy, his ex comes to town and he spends the whole episode trying to explain why he doesn't have feelings for her when he clearly does and he doesn’t want to be friends with her and - it's jibberish. Makes a toddler look like a genius."

He takes a few steps closer to Steve, apparently more determined now, "And he makes this list. The number one reason on it is because they're soup snakes."

Danny pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and pretends his hands aren't shaking. It's harder to pretend his voice isn't shaking though when he starts reading it. 

"I lied to Kevin. Holly and I can never be just friends. I wrote down a list of bullet points why Holly and I should be together, and I'm going to find the perfect moment today and I am going to tell her. Number one: "Holly, you and I are soup snakes." The ... and the reason is... because... in terms of the soup, we like to- that doesn't make any sense. We're soul mates. Holly and I are soul mates."

Steve's heart is pounding in a way that it hasn't since he went through basic training and he's suddenly sweating bullets. "That's, ah..." He licks his lips and tries again, "That's a nice story, Danny."

Danny seems to ignore him, keeping his eyes on the paper, “So, there I am, sitting in my living room with my daughter, my lovely, amazing girlfriend in the kitchen and...” 

He looks up at Steve finally and he looks terrified - like walking into a tunnel terrified.

“And see I’m - I’m having a crisis. Because this?” He gestures in between the two of them, “This wasn’t - it’s not -” 

“Yeah,” Steve croaks out, his voice rough for a number of reasons. 

Danny opens his mouth uselessly, the words on the tip of his tongue and refusing to come out.

Steve takes a step closer, well within his personal space now and swallows nervously, “It doesn’t have to be. I mean, if you...” He lets out a breath, ignoring his stuttering heart, “If you don’t -” 

He’s not an idiot. Despite what Danny likes to think, he’s not a ‘neanderthal.’ He’s got feelings, lots of them, and he knows what they all mean.

He knows that he’s been in love with Danny since the day they met. 

“But it is!” Danny yelps, his hands coming up to rest on the back of his head, “It already is Steven, it doesn’t matter if I -”

Steve sets a hand on his shoulder, effectively shutting him up. It doesn’t matter, not really, because the only thing he can hear is the sound of his heart racing in his ears. 

“Did you break up with her?” He asks, terrified of the answer. 

Danny makes a face that clearly communicates how dumb he thinks Steve is, “What, are you insane? What kind of person do you think I am, huh?? Realize I’m in love with my best friend and keep dating a perfectly nice -”

And, well, that’s enough.

Steve leans down, slamming their lips together in both an effort to shut him the hell up and finally, finally find out what kissing Danny feels like.

Danny groans into it, his hands coming up to fist Steve’s shirt. 

They’ve always been a bit of a disaster together, two halves of different puzzles that shouldn’t fit, but they do, they fit so well, and kissing is no exception.

There’s a literal push and pull and before Steve realizes what’s happening, he gets pushed back into his chair. Danny’s standing there looking absolutely wrecked, the toes of their shoes knocking against each other, and Steve has never seen anything more beautiful.

“You,” Danny huffs, trying to catch his breath, and points at Steve’s chest. “Are an asshole.”

Steve squawks, his hands coming up to grab Danny’s thighs, “Me?!”

Danny glares at him, but still moves so that he’s partially on Steve’s lap. 

Something fizzles out in Steve’s brain with all this physical contact and he’s expecting something, something like a kiss or frotting or - something. 

Instead, Danny pinches the sensitive part of his upper arm, hard, and Steve yelps. 

“Do not interrupt me when I’m talking to you,” he hisses. 

“Talking at me is more like it,” Steve mumbles, unable to take his eyes off of Danny. They’re so close, they’re so fucking close, and he’s got years of pent-up frustration and theories he wants to explore. 

There’s a bead of sweat rolling its way down Danny’s throat and Steve just watches it go, wonders how angry Danny would be if he leaned up and licked it right now. Probably really angry, he seems like he’s really pissed, and Steve’s not sure why. 

Then again, he usually isn’t totally sure why Danny’s mad at him. 

Danny’s hand grabs his chin, forcing Steve to look back up at him, “Steven.”

Steve licks his lips, his mouth feeling suddenly very dry, “Yeah?”

“We are at work,” he reminds him, his tone going a little softer. 

He sounds, for lack of a better word, wrecked. He sounds like Steve feels, which is a little raw and a little off balance and - 

Steve groans, his head falling forward and landing on Danny’s clavicle. Stupidly, some part of his lizard brain can only think about how good he smells. 

“Yeah,” he sighs, his eyes closing. “Yeah, okay.” 

Danny presses a kiss to his temple, softer than anything Steve thinks he deserves, and finally pulls away from him. Steve makes a noise of complaint at the loss of contact and it feels like his chest is going to explode with the quiet laugh from Danny it earns him. 

God, he really loves him. 

He watches as Danny fixes his hair, fixes his shirt, tries not to look like his whole world has been rocked in the last ten minutes. 

Steve doesn’t even try to pretend he isn’t doing exactly what he’s doing. 

Danny catches his eye after a moment and grins, walking around to the front of the desk. 

This is the part of Danny that Steve’s always had to experience from the outside looking in, and now, he’s the center of that look and. Wow. 

“Hey Danny,” he hears himself choke out right as Danny’s about to walk out of the office.

Danny turns around, the door half open, and somehow the bastard looks like he always does, like this is all normal. “Yeah?”

It takes his brain a little bit longer than normal to figure out what it was he was going to say, and when it does he wants to laugh.

“I’m gonna need that report before we leave tonight.”

Danny’s face does that thing where it scrunches up like Steve’s being the most unreasonable dictator in the world and he starts yelling (’I don’t yell at you Steven, I explain loudly’).

Because he’s an idiot, and he’s hopelessly in love with his partner, Steve just grins.

Yeah, he thinks to himself. Yeah, this could work. 

[okaywitheverything]

Konoha X Reader ♡1

A/N: So I’ve been really inactive I know but its because I have a lot of tests coming up. Here is fun series I wrote long ago which is sort of everybody flirting with you in Konoha. Hope you like it. Here’s part one of three.

"Yeah, it would be a nice change of space. I've been cooped in one place for far too long I feel. I've always had a nick for travelling and exploring." You answered with an adorable smile on your face.

"Is that the only reason? Pardon me for questioning you but I need to be completely sure about approving your request to move here to Konoha. I can't take any duty of mine lightly."

"Nothing less would be expected of you Hokage-sama. You truly are as intellectual, perceptive and ingenious as people say."

The Third Hokage laughed lightly at this. "As flattered as I am dear, I am not cutting you any slack." He replied smugly.

"I'm an okay Jounin-level kunoichi that feels the urge to start anew. Oh come on, I'm not an assassin in disguise! I could have fooled you if I actually wanted to." You replied as serious you could, slightly staring at him to try and intimidate him.

Don't think it's working at all.

"I'm actually in a disguise right now."

That's seemed to have caught him off guard. You smirked a little. "You haven't even checked my ID yet. The photo it has right now, doesn't match my current self. Wait! Don’t peek! Let's make this interesting. You'll see my abilities as a ninja as well. What do you say?"

Tempting the Hokage was probably not a good idea, but you have never been one to shy away from risks.

"Oh I'm not doubting your ability of deception. Say what, that door leads to a bathroom. If you manage to amaze me with a different disguise that matches whatever is in your ID, I'll let you move here, no more questions asked." He said, propping on his elbows, leaning forward. This old man was surely fun, you had to give him that.

"Alright, give me five minutes."

You looked at your appearance right now. Really big dorky glasses that hid your beautiful features under its frame. A really tight braid with middle parting of your hair. You looked oh-so-nerdy right now. But only you knew that on the removal of these two things, your entire appearance did a one eighty degree. And that's what you intended to do as of right now.   

 You looked at yourself with awe in the mirror. You never bragged about your appearance or thought of yourself as superior to basically anyone. 

But you weren't one to willingly drag yourself down, you remained confident with whatever you wore, whatever you had. Sure everyone had bad days, but to make a routine out of it? That was not you. Right now, your beautiful (h/c) tresses cascaded down your body to (whatever your hair length is).

Your cherry pink lips glossed more as you reapplied the lip balm. Your (favourite colour) blouse was the one thing that remained the same. You swapped your baggy pants with a similar (favourite colour) skirt that reached your mid thigh that matched your painted nails. You had removed your glasses already and replaced it with contacts. (Or just removed if you don't need contacts)You were thankful for all the accessories you kept in your (favourite colour) purse in case you needed to party anytime.  

But you really outdid yourself by taking out matching heels from the bag and replacing your flats. 

Guess the female purse is really a mystery.

You readied yourself and stepped out.

 Go big or go home, right? 

The Hokage looked up from some documents he was checking and Kami, you could have sworn you saw blood trickling down his nose. You instantly grew worried, was he having a seizure? 

You then saw him frantically grabbing your folder and snatching out your ID. His widened eyes darted back and forth from the photo on the ID to your  confused face. 

"Are you going to say something?" You said after few minutes of silence.

"I think I need to check the bathroom to see if you swapped places with someone. As shocked as I am to admit this, I was totally not expecting that. Keeping my end of the deal, as you have truly amazed me, I can only hope this will help our undercover missions. Anyways, welcome to Konoha!" The Third replied with a grin, a narrow strip of blood still gushing down. 

You responded with another charming smile of yours. However, before you could say something, the door abruptly opened revealing a large man with really long white hair and a lady close behind who had beautiful golden locks."Hokage-sama, did you hear about Oro- Oh! Hello there. I don't believe we have met. I'm Jiraiya, a renowned writer and appreciator of beauty and grace. And you seem just the kind of elegant lady that I was looking for."

 The man started but changed his composure entirely when his eyes met yours mid sentence. You tilted your head in slight confusion and saw the lady behind him come ahead while smacking the back of his head. However, as soon as she saw you, a slight pink tinted her cheeks.

 Maybe at the embarrassment of realising someone else's presence?You wondered.

"Hello I'm Tsunade. I haven't seen you around, you seem new." With pink cheeks, she put her hand forward which you gladly accepted giving her a small smile.

"Yes, I arrived here today. I'm (Your first name) (Your last name)." You replied.

You didn't realise at what point exactly did the white haired man had moved to the corner of the room during your conversation. You saw him squatted down, vigorously writing down something and mumbling incoherent words along the lines of 'new characters initials will be (your initials)'.

What surprised you was the river of blood gushing down his nose, blood almost thrice the amount you witnessed on Hokage's face earlier.

He seriously looked like he was about to pass out.

Is the weather here really this hot and cruel?  Good thing I'm wearing a mini skirt right now.

You came out of your thoughts when you heard knuckles cracking quite loudly and saw Tsunade glaring at Jiraiya that he totally ignored as his eyes only travelled between your face and his book. 

The Hokage, about whom you had completely forgotten until now stood beside Jiraiya, leaning to read what he wrote, giggling like a lovestruck teen.

 "Is this how you are supposed to behave?!" Tsunade pulled Jiraiya up by his ear, and to be honest she even scared you. "And you sensei, supporting him like that?!" She continued and you praised her confidence and unwavering voice.

If you hadn't witnessed the scene, you would never believe she was talking to The Lord Third. 

The Third sheepishly scratched his neck, embarrassment coating his cheeks. You felt you should excuse yourself before the situation escalated to another level. "If my request is approved, I'd like to look around the Village." You said moving towards the door. "Let me assist you with that. I know all the exclusive spots in the vill- Oww   ow what?!" You heard Jiraiya exclaim from the corner.

"Have you forgotten about the important matters we came to discuss here? It's not like I'd rather stay here than show her pretty ass around but we have some duties." Tsunade said making you blush.

'Pretty ass' caught you off guard. Both the curse and the compliment. 

You grabbed your folders and put them inside your purse and headed out, not before flashing a bright cheeky smile to all the three people in the room as you heard Tsunade say, "We hope to see you around soon." 

The two guards outside almost didn't recognise you as the same girl who entered the office. They exchanged quizzical glances while all you could wonder was how could they let Jiraiya and Tsunade intrude like that. Maybe because it was an emergency. You gave them both genuine smiles and shrugged to yourself while moving to find the exit. 

This wasn't how you planned on exiting and roaming, in such a short skirt but you had no choice because of the intrusion in the office. You didn't mind though, Konoha seems to intrigue you in a good way and you found yourself excited to explore, looking like a total bomb in that sleek, sexy (favourite  colour) outfit of yours.

A/N: this was just some meaningless drabble of sorts. Hope you enjoyed.

[mst3kproject]

Invasion of the Star Creatures

I promised you guys something truly awful this week, didn’t I?  Well, how about a space invasion ‘comedy’ (big emphasis on the air quotes there) produced by Samuel Zarkoff to be a double-bill with The Brain that Wouldn’t Die?  The closest thing it has to a star is Frankie Ray, whom MSTies might know as the writer of Laserblast.  He also wrote Zoltan, Hound of Dracula, which I really, really need to see one of these days.  Film Historian Bill Warren described Invasion of the Star Creatures as ‘so helplessly bad it’s almost unwatchable’.  Let’s find out if he was right.

Fort Nicholson is the world’s center for atomic research, despite apparently being staffed entirely by idiots.  The two biggest idiots are, unfortunately, our main characters.  Their names are Philbrick and Penn.  No, I don’t know which is which.  No, I don’t care.  I’m gonna call them Rick and Rick With The Squeaky Voice.  The first ‘comedic’ sequence involves Rick With The Squeaky Voice sitting in a barrel pretending he’s going to space, and getting his ass set on fire.

That sets the tone for the whole movie quite nicely. It’s stupid and it’s not funny, and it never gets any better.  In fact, as we shall see, it gets significantly worse.

For some reason, Rick and Rick With The Squeaky Voice are assigned to a mission to explore a cave recently exposed by a nuclear test.  This turns out to be the base for two seven-foot space women, Tanga and Pona, and their tuberous minions, the Vege-Men, and the entire party is soon in their clutches.  The aliens say that they have come to save humanity from destroying ourselves through nuclear war, but naturally the army isn’t into that.  Rick With The Squeaky Voice discovers that kissing the women puts them into a daze, allowing the two idiots to escape, but of course nobody back at Fort Nicholson believes their story.  Is it really up to these two to stop Tanga and Pona from heading back to their home planet with their report?  We’re doomed.

I don’t remember which review it was, but I once invited you to imagine a movie in which every character is Dropo or Watney Smith.  This is that movie.  This is proud of being that movie.  The aliens try to read the two Ricks’ minds and one is completely empty while the other is full of superhero fantasies.  Pona calls what she sees ‘completely illogical and infantile’, which is a fair description of the whole movie.

There’s a sequence where one of the army men shoots a rattlesnake that was about to bite one of the Ricks, and then cries because ‘he might have had a family’.  They try to lampoon the thing in old movies where the characters walk through the same set from different angles by doing it without cutting away or changing the camera angle, but it just looks dumb.  The Colonel gives a long-winded speech about the merits of getting straight to the point.  A forced march stops for a lovely picnic and wine tasting.  A guy gets his ass kicked by a Vege-Man and declares, “that’s the first time a salad ever tossed me.”  There’s a running ‘gag’ about fans of ‘Space Commander Connors’ recognizing each other’s secret decoder rings and immediately going into a full-on geek-out.

None of this is funny, much of it is downright embarrassing, and the worst part is that the writers have no idea how to include their attempts at comedy in the story.  Rather than the hijinks advancing the plot, every time something that’s supposed to be funny happens, the whole thing comes to a dead halt.  This gives the impression that the movie is stumbling around in the dark with no idea where it’s going.  It finally seems to settle on a plot when we find out that the spaceship is about to leave and must be stopped.  After some bullshit the Ricks convince the Colonel (and only the Colonel) to help them take on the aliens.  At this point I was thinking that this movie was pretty terrible but it hadn’t actually pushed me to the point of being tempted to turn it off…

And then it got racist.

The last ten minutes or so of Invasion of the Star Creatures are a downward spiral in which it seems like they gave up trying to be funny in favour of being actively offensive. First, they encounter what’s supposed to be a group of Native Americans on horseback.  Rick With The Squeaky Voice tries to get their attention by saying “hey, Kemosabe, I wanna buy some blankets!”  The Natives don’t speak much English but they do a lot of grunting, and threaten to kill the Colonel because they think he’s General Custer (?!).  Then they kidnap everybody and force them to smoke the peace pipe and drink firewater and the white guys only escape once the Natives have passed out.

Holy shit.  Not only is this repulsive, it is, as previously noted, irrelevant.  It has no effect on the plot other than to waste time.  The Natives do not help them defeat the aliens and neither does the Colonel, who is also in a drunken stupor.  And then, just when we think this can’t possibly get any worse, the defeated alien women declare that they must throw themselves on the mercy of the Earth Men.  This turns out to mean marrying them, and the dialogue specifically likens marriage to slavery, which Tanga and Pona seem to consider a point in its favour!  The end of this movie left my head spinning.  It’s like I watched a guy get ‘comedically’ knocked over by a punching bag for forty-five minutes and then he suddenly turned around and punched me in the face.

(Hey, I just realized… remember how I said the cave was exposed by a nuclear test?  The dialogue emphasizes how this whole area is irradiated and dangerous – and then totally forgets about it.  It’s never mentioned again and the characters take off their protective gear and never put it back on.  So… that was useless, too.)

There is stuff in this movie that could have been funny.  The secret decoder ring stuff almost got a smile out of me once or twice, because the characters seemed so earnest in their love for ‘Space Commander Connors’ and his lore.  The ‘Vege-Men’ also had potential.  We get to see a greenhouse room where they’re grown to be the women’s slaves, and the seedlings are hands or feet sticking out of flowerpots with a few leaves around them.  This is fairly amusing and I could see it being the juvenile form of a sentient plant on Star Trek TOS.  Adult Vege-Men are actors in stupid carrot costumes that they obviously can’t see out of very well, which should have been funny just because it’s so terrible, but Invasion of the Star Creatures is so bad you can’t even laugh at it ironically.

The idea of using a bumbling idiot as your main character, let alone two bumbling idiots, frankly baffles me.  Rick and Rick With The Squeaky Voice are supposed to be the guys we, the audience, identify with.  We’re supposed to like and root for them and to perhaps be able to imagine ourselves in their places, but the only thing I feel for them is contempt.  Why would anyone want to see themselves in these guys?  Perhaps it’s an attempt to say that anybody can be a hero, but the two Ricks don’t even qualify as that.  When they save the world, it’s basically by accident.  The ending, which rewards them with promotions, medals, and beautiful wives from outer space, actively makes me angry because they didn’t earn any of that!

Invasion of the Star Creatures works very hard at being pointless, and there’s very little in it that comes anywhere near a theme.  If any such thing exists, its in Tanga and Pona’s insistence that they’re here to save humanity whether we like it or not, and how the humans react to that idea.  The women say it would be a shame to see a young civilization destroy itself because nations were too stupid to work together.  Rick and Rick With The Squeaky Voice reject this entirely, which is supposed to be a joke: these guys are in the army, so if humanity transcends the need for conflict they’d be out of a job.  The rest of the plot then seems at pain to emphasize that humans cannot work together, and do not want to.

After all, the two Ricks’ attempts to summon help come to nothing.  The Native Americans never understand that these men want assistance, and the Colonel thinks it’s all a Space Commander Connors game before sliding under the metaphorical table, having never done anything useful.  The Ricks themselves spent most of their time arguing and complaining and in the end succeed only through good luck on their part and poor timing on that of the invaders.  Usually a story that begins with ‘aliens want to save primitive humans from ourselves’ would end with ‘the aliens were wrong about us’.  Invasion of the Star Creatures seems to want to say the aliens were right the whole time!

So there you have it – Invasion of the Star Creatures.  It started off kinda bad and not funny, then swirled down the cinematic toilet into outright offensive, racist, sexist drivel.  I’m trying to think of some small thing I can say about it that’s nice, but I’m having a very hard time.  I guess I kinda liked the rumbly noises that represent the alien language – that was more fun than just having the actresses spout random gobbledygook.  Other than that, I’m at a loss.  The actors suck, the sets suck, the effects suck, the costumes suck, and everybody involved was a bigoted dickweed.  Fuck this movie.

[harringtonstudios]

vegas run (III).

plot: it’s the annual las vegas run. let’s see what kinda trouble you get into this year!

A/N: i have finals coming up, but i will update as soon as i can! hope yall are enjoying this as much as i am :’)

masterlist!   (part I).  (part II). 

Checking into the hotel rooms was easier than it had ever been. Slim and Dub had landed an hour earlier, and already gotten the two rooms settled, knowing that most of the night wasn’t spent in them anyway. All you guys did when you got back to the hotels was knock out on the closest bed and then wake up the next morning to do it all over again. 

You threw your duffel bag in the corner of one of the rooms before booking it to the bathroom so you could pee before the festivities started. The plan was simple for today: hit up the first casino you saw, play until the wheels got a little blurry, and then take a break in the fresh air before moving onto the next. 

The bright lights and constant flow of people in Vegas made the nights blend into one, and the only way you would know the actual time was if by some chance your phone hadn’t died yet. The Vegas Run was a gamble on itself and you found yourself ready to waste the week away with poker chips and margaritas. 

Patting your face with some cold water, you took a look in the mirror. You looked good, hair loosely falling around your shoulders. The jean jacket you were wearing paired nicely with your black top and the ripped denim adorning your thighs. 

Leaving the bathroom, you tied up the laces on your Converse before grabbing your mini-backpack from inside your duffel bag. It was extremely small, containing only your wallet and a phone charger. You’d somehow managed to wedge a water bottle in there, and you picked up a pair of fruit snacks that somehow had been dumped on the little desk in the hotel room before zipping it up completely. 

“Good to go?” you asked, eyes moving around the room. 

Slim was collapsed on one of the beds, legs hanging off the edge. He shot you a thumbs-up from under the baseball cap that covered his face as you laughed. Kells was sitting on the floor in between both beds and he got up at your question, moving towards the door. 

“Alright,” you mumbled under your breath, smacking Slim’s leg to get him up as you followed out the door. 

-

The switch to Vegas mode was automatic. Colson propped his hoodie up, hands rifling through his pockets as he pulled out his ID to get into the first casino you all spotted. 

The rest of the boys followed suit, walk eased as they sauntered past the bouncers into the light up floors filled with the sounds of shuffling machines. 

Baze had a tight grip on his girlfriend Ellie’s hand, pulling her along in as you closed up the back of the room, pulling out your own ID as the bouncer waved you past.

The room was loud, sounds filling the air around you as you followed the pack to the bar. Everyone grabbed a drink, and then scattered to the different games being held in the casino. You waited a second back, letting the drink settle in your mouth. Bringing your tongue to your teeth, you looked around trying to figure out which machine you wanted to try your luck with. Playing one of the bigger games wasn’t in your forte, you had a terrible poker face, and a lot of the people that lingered around the tables were naturals, ready to make any money they could. 

Your eyes landed on the slot machines, empty in the corner. You had to convert your actual money to gold coins first, to ply into the machines, and you sighed realizing you were going to lose a lot more money tonight than you wanted to. Feeding the conversion machine a ten dollar bill, you grabbed one of the plastic cups sitting at the top of the machine, filling it with the gold coins that came pouring out. 

-

Half an hour later, you were down to your last three coins. You’d gotten exactly one turn to land exactly on the same three pictures, gaining a net value of five dollars. Not that it made up for the fact that you’d been hiding out in this corner, jamming in coins and sipping on an empty drink. You’d been drinking the melted ice cubes at this point, the lemon wedge you’d been given with it sucked and sitting at the bottom of the cup. 

You rationalized that you didn’t know what exactly you were hiding from, but your mind knew better. Colson had walked by exactly once, two girls plastered at his side. His arm wrapped around their waists, and you had immediately bit your tongue, leaving your mouth open as you had gone to tell him about your little win. It shouldn’t bother you. It didn’t bother you. 

You went for another spin on the machine, pushing away all the thoughts as the screen started spinning. You needed another drink soon, and honestly it wouldn’t hurt to explore the casino a little. There were enough people in here that you would be easily able to find someone from the squad, and they wouldn’t leave without gathering everybody together anyways. 

-

One more drink turned into three and then you were following a blonde into a corner, arm loosely wrapped around his, ice clinking in your glass. The bitter taste of lemon lingered  in your mouth, and you thought you heard someone calling your name, but brushed it off, eager to do a little kissing tonight. 

You didn’t really know who the blonde was, just that he had bought you the two other drinks and played with your fingers as you tapped them against the counter. There was the little part of you that knew why you chose to spend time with him, he’s got the same blue in his eyes, a tattoo peeking out from his shirt. 

Another echo of your name went around the room, louder this time, and you looked up trying to find the culprit, eyes landing on none other than one Machine Gun Kelly. His arm was wrapped around a girl, but the other waved up at you, calling you over. 

“Y/N! Over here,” he shouted again, and you shook your head a little, pausing your walk. 

The blonde tugged at you, “He know you or something?”

“Yeah something,” you started as Colson bellowed out your name again. Rolling your eyes, you dropped the guy’s arm, muttering out a “sorry” as you walked towards the game table. 

“You’re here! Watch me win,” Colson exclaimed, empty hand moving across the table to pick up the red dice. The girl at his side squealed as he started shaking, watching the board as you moved closer to the game master. Locking eyes with you, he grinned and threw you a wink before dropping the dice down. 

“SEVEN!,” the woman standing next to you shouted, arms in the air and suddenly everyone around the table started yelling. The man sitting on your left grumbled, tossing in what seemed like a big stack of cash as you watched Colson jump off the stool, taking the rest of his drink down like a shot in victory. 

You were pretty confused, but clapped nonetheless as the game master wiped the board, chips all gathered on one side again. There was another commotion, and then Kells was leaning across the table, arm stretching out towards you.

“Let’s go, next game,” he mumbled over the noise, and you let him pull you forward until you were flush with the wooden board, awkwardly feeling it dig into your front. 

“Coming,” you muttered back, pulling your arm from his grip and apologizing to the game master who threw a dirty glare in your direction. 

-

Two big poker games later, you were trailing behind Colson as he celebrated his victory for the third time that night. He had started stuffing the money he was making into your backpack, eagerly shoving it in as the prices of his win kept going up. 

Every game, he would ask you to stand across from him, eyes meeting yours any time the dice ended up in his fists. It was fun, watching the energy build up as he worked towards another win, but it had gotten repetitive. 

You weren’t even playing, just standing opposite him, often leaning on the table, or letting your eyes wander around trying to find the blonde you’d let go of earlier. 

“You’re my good luck charm I swear,” came his voice rumbling as you stumbled behind him approaching the bar. 

“I thought we were gonna play another game?” you asked as you moved back to your spot on the bar, leaning against the slightly sticky countertop, ignoring the way your chest tightened when he said those words.

Colson put his head down. 

“Yeah, yeah. Need to get my head on straight or I’m gonna lose everything you’ve gotten me,” he mumbled out, fingers signaling the bartender back. 

You waited for him to get his drink, catching the way his movements seemed a little slower than usual. There was no way of you actually knowing how much he had to drink already, but you knew from previous years that the minute he slowed down, he’d hit a limit. 

“Do you- uh have a joint?” you asked, hoping that he’d say yes so you two could go get a breather outside. 

“Do I have a joint? Who do you think I am Y/N,” he mocked back, one hand already going into his jacket. 

“Can’t smoke in here,” you pointed out the obvious, your hand rushing to cover his, “outside?”

“Mhm,” he said, nodding before downing his drink. 

You took your own vodka sprite, leading him out. You could feel his arm find its place around your shoulder and you relished in the comfort it gave you, warm and grounding as the lights around you started to spin. A few of the guys were lingering around and you smiled, seeing Ellie shout on as Baze spun one of the wheels. 

-

Moving into the cool air, you sidestepped the bouncer pulling Colson alongside you. Purple fluorescent lights bounced off of the surfaces, illuminating the sidewalk beneath your feet. People were bustling around, cars honking as a group stood in the middle of the street, flash going off as they took a picture. 

“Fuck we should’ve stayed inside,” Colson mumbled into your ear, bending down so you could hear him over the noise. 

Just then, something went flying over your head, landing right by your feet. It was a bright orange flyer turned into a paper airplane, and you turned around to see the perpetrator but they were long gone, caught up in the hubble of people crossing the sidewalk. You stepped over it, taking a breath before looking around to see if there was a space to chill anywhere.

A second later, you felt a hand reach yours, fingers grabbing on tightly. Looking up at Colson, he grinned down at you before walking in front, leading you across the active streets. You could see cars approaching in the distance, panic building up in you as he mindlessly strolled the lanes. 

Your first thought was to grind your heels but then you realized that both of you would just end up stranded in the middle of the road and that wasn’t ideal. Deciding to rush along forward, you passed Colson as his laugh echoed behind you. 

“C'mon fucker,” you spat into the wind, fingers still clutching his as you dragged him forward this time around. 

There was the beeping of a horn, and then a car went straight past the both of you as your feet hit the curb and you pulled him onto the sidewalk. 

“Where’s your sense of adventure Y/N?” he asked, eyebrows raising as a glare covered your features. 

“Standing in the middle of the street is NOT an adventure,” you ripped back, as he pulled up your joined hands to his face, turning them around. 

“When’d you hold my hand?” he asked, face distorted in confusion. 

“You held my hand,” you responded right back, knowing damn well he’d grabbed onto you first. 

“Oh,” he nodded, dropping your hands back down but not letting go. You furrowed your brows but let it go, at least this way you two wouldn’t lose each other in some crowd.

After a minute of standing in silence at the edge of the sidewalk, you looked around, wondering why the two of you were stuck here. 

“Why’d we cross the road?” you asked. 

“The dudes,” he explained, making absolutely no sense as he slyly pointed to the edge of the sidewalk with a head tilt. Following his motion, you saw a group of guys sitting on the curb, smoke clouds surrounding them. You could see a bong being passed around, and you grimaced, not even wanting to see how dirty the water might be. 

“I’m not smoking with them,” you clarified as he laughed. 

“Lost my lighter, I was gonna ask for theirs,” he voiced before finishing out with, “if it’s cool with you?”

You nodded, happy with the idea of him asking for permission. He dropped your hand then, walking over to the little group and you wiped your palm on your jeans, hoping it wasn’t as sweaty as you were feeling under the red, emanating lights of the club doors. 

Pulling out your phone, you glanced a look at the time. You still had half battery, and you sent out a quick text to the group chat, letting them know that you and Kells were taking a little bit of a breather outside, coincidentally leaving out the part about a joint. Slim got real upset when you wouldn’t include him in the smoke breaks during Vegas run, and you didn’t really want to share this with anyone else right now. 

-

“Got it lit,” Colson mumbled behind you as you turned around. The joint was already in his mouth, orange glow at the end lighting up, and you reached up for it, taking it from his lips into yours. 

Breathing in, you let the weed hit your lungs, feeling full. Blowing it out, you could already feel the lightheadedness and you smiled, knowing that in about five minutes, you’d be floating in space. Passing it back to him, you started walking again following the flow of the thinning crowd. 

You knew he was following you, could tell by the faint smell of weed lingering around, but you reached back anyway, curious to see what would happen. 

Cold fingers found yours, and you smiled at the familiar feeling of nerves building up in your stomach. This time around you were prepared for them. 

-

You’d been walking for some time now, the joint often passed between the two of you, hands swinging occasionally. You’d passed two Elvis impersonators, a wedding chapel decked out in bright pink, and three dudes in mohawks ripping out skateboarding tricks right in the middle of the street. The last one peaked Colson’s interest and you both stood there for a few minutes, cheering on the guys as they landed a high jump. 

You were a few blocks down and all of a sudden you both seemed to have stumbled into an impromptu concert. There was a little circle formed around, and you decided to check out what instrument was blasting out the music you could hear. Moving into the circle, you stepped closer until you saw the girl band. They had guitars and a smaller drum set propped up, a microphone placed as one of them stepped up and started singing again. They were covering some old song, and you moved to the beat, letting her voice shape up the melody. 

Colson was right next to you, the last of the joint glowing as he held it in his mouth, swaying up and down to the beat. The song finished, claps filling up the air around you. Before you could say anything, Colson let go of your hand again. 

Stomping out the burnt joint, he reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. Moving to where there was a bucket set for collection, he dropped a couple of bills, before turning back to you and finding your hand in the dark again. 

“That was awfully nice of you,” you snickered, finding happiness after the music filled up your veins. 

“They were hard. Probably gonna take over the world someday” he mumbled, knocking your shoulder with his own.

You hummed in agreement, letting the crowd guide you to your next destination. Vegas was weird, but the exact type of weird you needed right now. Reality seemed so far away and you let yourself live in the moment, enjoying the feeling of being lost within the crowds with someone you cared about. 

-

 taglist: @iamdorka​ @no-shxt-sherl​ @bakerkells​ @findingmyths​ @rosegoldrichie​ @mayaslifeinabox​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​​ @hnbtx​​  @backoftheroomandnotbelonging​​ @nowhereiswhereibelong​ @whyisgmora​ @oopsiedoopsie23

[mattness]

rock it till waterfalls

Genres: PWP, Songfic, Romantic Inspired by Beyonce's song "Rocket"

Jacob sends to her so many messages, until his black Aston Martin business class with tinted windows was parked in the parking near the office center where Gwen worked. He purposely took off from work for two hours so that they could spend this time together. That's why he was so insistent on texting after texting, begging her to leave the office for lunch.

Gwen: "Five minutes, Jacob. I can't give up everything for you, no matter how much I really want to."

The man snorted, then smiled.

"Okay. I'm waiting patiently for you in the parking lot".

The salon was filled with music from the Depeche Mode song, "Strange Love", and Jacob tapped his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the rhythm, while he carefully looked towards the building, from which Gwendoline came out exactly to the chorus, pulling a leather jacket over a red t-shirt. Black tight pants perfectly emphasized her legs. Frye's gaze lingered on her hips, which caused the most indecent thoughts to creep into his head. While he was thinking about his own, Gwen, noticing a familiar black car in a half-empty parking lot, walked briskly towards it.

"Hi, Gwenny", Jacob greeted her as she climbed into the salon and kissed him on lips as a greeting.

"What's wrong?" Gwen asked anxiously.

"My job", assassin chuckled and loosened the knot of black tie around his neck a little with fingers. Mortimer followed this action closely. "I'm going to Wales today for a couple of days, that's why I insisted on meeting."

"Oh", was all Gwendolyn breathed, who knew perfectly well that Jacob quite often had trips and even flights outside London for work, so she was no stranger to it. "Do you want to have a lunch together?"

Jacob nodded, then smiled slyly. Gwendolyn also knew this smile perfectly well, but now it seemed completely inappropriate. The man even raised his eyebrows, which made Mortimer roll her eyes irritably.

"What?" she feigned incomprehension.

"Gwenny, you know perfectly well what."

"Then let's go home—" she shrugged, but man didn't agree, explaining that they would waste time in vain. "Are you want it here?.."

"Why not? We wanted to start trying different places. Experiment—" Jacob reminded in the most innocent voice, biting his lips.

"But not in broad daylight!"

"The car has tinted windows."

"Everybody will hear us."

"I'll turn up the music louder."

Gwendolyn batted her long eyelashes in confusion, because all arguments against sex in the car were over. Or rather, she tried to come up with some other excuse, but the fantasy exhausted all its resources. Assassin's smile widened, and sparks of desire danced in his green eyes. As a final argument in favor, Frye added in a hoarse baritone:

"We won't see each other for few days, Gwenny."

She finally gave up. Sighing heavily, Gwen pulled her jacket off her shoulders, then bent down to her boots, took them off and began to unbutton her pants without any unnecessary words, while a cheerful Jacob turned up the volume of the music, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top couple of buttons on his shirt. As soon as Mortimer straightened pants off herself, she glanced at Jacob, who, clicking one button near the steering wheel, locked the car doors.

"How much time do we have?"

"I have two hours", assassin whispered, and girl moved to his lap. His hands began to stroke her thighs possessively, rising higher and higher. Gwen took a deep breath, bent down to Jacob's face, pushing the interfering strands of her hair behind her ear, and kissed him. At first gently, as if trying on, and then sensually and passionately, as he loved. The kiss provoked both of them. Their breathing quickly lost its rhythm. Jacob lovingly explored Gwen's native body with his hands, getting his palms under the fabric of t-shirt and wanting to remove the interfering thing. Her fingers carefully straightened the buttons on his shirt, then slid over his skin. A languid moan escaped Gwen's lips through another kiss, and Jacob smiled, knowing very well, how much she liked his body, especially touching him. Gwendolyn broke away from the assassin's lips and began to kiss his neck.

You rock hard, I rock steady

"I'm leaving for just a couple of days, but how will I miss this", Frye breathed, with his eyes closed, enjoying the confident actions of his beloved. Her hands slid down his torso to the belt buckle on trousers. Jacob caught on the elastic band of her black lace panties, trying to pull it off. They both had to distract themselves from the caresses and tinker with her undressing.

Under the intoxicated excitement of Jacob's gaze, Gwendolyn couldn't resist and still took off her t-shirt. Assassin groaned, his fingers caught on the straps of her bra and, gently touching her delicate skin, pulled them off her fragile shoulders, pressing hot kisses to Gwen's chest, who couldn't restrain a new moan, lost in the sounds of some slow song. At this second, they didn't want to hurry anywhere to allow the sweet languor to fill not only every cell of the body, but also the entire space around. Jacob Frye knew how to make the whole world lose its meaning in the moments of their closeness, and they drowned together in the ocean of the highest bliss. His love was truly maddening.

Life has a reason, swimmin' in my love, your love liftin' Higher, harder, Got me screamin' to the Lord, boy!

She could already feel with her skin, how quickly Jacob was aroused, and a shiver of anticipation passed through her body from next actions, that would finally turn their heads. Assassin reluctantly pulled away from her chest, looked with darkened eyes at Gwen, who smiled seductively. Her hands confidently slid again to the belt buckle on Jacob's trousers, carefully unbuttoning, creating a moment of languor mixed with hot impatience.

"Come here. Closer to me, Gwenny—" Jacob whispered passionately, and Gwen didn't hesitate a second longer, directing him into herself with a kiss. So excited and hot. At the same time, a moan of pleasure escaped from their lips. "Damn, baby—" assassin exhaled, squeezing his hands tighter on her buttocks, forcing her to go lower so that he could penetrate deeper. Gwendolyn smiled languidly and didn't immediately begin to move, allowing them to fully enjoy this moment of unity. Goosebumps ran up her spine. The head swam sweetly, and their whole world was reduced to the two of them.

Kiss me, pray we don't overflow, Baby, I know you can feel it pulse, Keepin' the peak of my waterfall, Rock it, baby, rock it, baby, rock it till the water falls

She began to move slowly, and Jacob, without ceasing to shower her with kisses, whispered how much he loved her and was ready to put the whole world at her feet, if only she was just in his arms, always there.

"You're such a romantic", Gwen breathed between kisses, and Frye smiled lazily.

The bodies were gradually covered with perspiration. It was getting hot and stuffy in the car. The windows began to fog up. His breathing quickened. Heart was beating louder in chest, echoing in ears, throbbing in temples. The movements gradually became more intense, rhythmic.

"Lord, Jay... yes, that's it..." Mortimer whispered like a mantra, and Jacob smiled again. How nice it was for him to watch, when she was so good with him, when she was drowning in the deep abyss of pleasure with him. And Frye was ready to do it again and again until she'll started screaming with pleasure.

Soon her body was seized by a sweet convulsion, bringing the long-awaited discharge closer, lifting her with a groan of bliss straight to heaven. Gwen trembled in his arms, shouted his name in languor, froze for several long seconds, then tiredly nuzzling his neck, breathing heavily.

Damn!

It was the best sight Jacob had ever seen in his life. He loved it so much, when Gwendolyn finished, drowning in the abyss with head, sometimes without waiting for him at all, like today. But this didn't outrage him at all, on the contrary, it flattered his ego. He needed a couple more deep thrusts to cum. At the last moment, he slipped out of her, soiling her thighs, but as soon as her breathing came more or less back to normal, Jacob had the strength for the simplest movements, he carefully wiped her skin with a wet napkin, while Gwen was still burning her hot, heavy breath on his neck, trying to recover.

We're so much more than pointless fixtures

"Was it good, honey?" Frye asked in a hoarse whisper, gently stroking her back and tracing uncomplicated patterns with his fingers.

"Very good", Gwen admitted, finally straightening up and looking into his eyes. "And, you know, it's not so bad in your car. Maybe when you come back, we'll repeat it?"

"With pleasure, Gwenny", assassin laughed softly, receiving a gentle kiss on the lips. "Someone resisted at first."

Gwen smiled guiltily.

"You're just driving me crazy, and I quickly forget about everything, about all the rules of decency, Jay", she whispered, hugging Jacob tightly. "I'm going to miss you, baby."

"Time will pass quickly, you'll see", he breathed, stroking her slightly sweaty hair. "Well, if I'm a little late, we can do the same thing over the phone."

Gwendolyn laughed softly, feeling her cheeks flush. Well, no, it was somehow completely... indecent to do this on the phone. However, she thought the same about cars. Until today.

You look so comfortable in my skin. Rockets and waterfalls.

[callmeunstable]

Angels & Demons - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Characters: Reader

Summary: She finds herself in the middle of a unknown forest after falling asleep. It seems like a normal forest until she gets to meet a mystical creature that welcomes her in a different world.

Warnings: Monsters, Cursing, Blood

Words: 2.000+

A/N: Hey! This is my first fic and I decided to place it in the universe of the greatest of the greatest. Geralt of Rivia! I don’t know where this will go 100%, but I know it’s going to be interesting. 😄 The reader starts of in our modern world and stumbles into the universe of The Witcher. I take my information mostly from the books and games but my fic is set based of the Netflix series so it’s basically beginners friendly.☺️

Disclaimer: GIF’s and PNG’s are taken from Tumblr and are not mine! Credits to the creators!

Song:

“Two face, two face, yeah Black, white, left, right, yeah Up, down, all night, yeah Can't escape it ever Don't forget my name I don't feel the same On a trip, no train“

The music made her headphones vibrate. Probably loud enough for everyone around her to hear. If there was anyone. She was alone, hiking in the forest. It was what she always did when her anxiety got the best of her. The city is loud and dirty, squeezed full with people that never look around. Never realizing what was going on in the real world. At least what that’s what they called their reality. She always thought it was foolish to believe that they were alone in this big of a universe. Impossible.

Some stones here and there made her trip but she didn’t stop. She knew where she wanted to go and she didn’t intend to stop before she reached her destination. Kicking some branches out of the way and silently passing other hikers that greeted her with waving hand. She didn’t like the people in the city. All of them were selfish and money orientated. Of course, so tried to earn some money as a health center receptionist at her university but only to keep her head above water. Her focus was on her degree in medicine. She wanted to be able to afford a good life for her and her dad.

“And all these angels and demons Keep shoutin' and screamin' I'm fallin' from Eden”

She slowed down and let herself down on the ground.  Pulling her knees to her stomach and breathing in the fresh air of the trees. The pollution caused by cars and all of these different companies laying behind her. Closing her eyes and trying not to fall asleep. Her insomnia got worse on hot summer days like these. The missing air conditioning in her dorm room made it even worse. Two hours have to be enough to function. She couldn’t wait for the autumn to start. For the leaves to fall. And the crowds to shrink

“So fuck me like a rockstar, dancing on a cop car Nothin' in the world can stop me now Fucked up like a rockstar, riding in a cop car No one in the world can help me out-“

Her music was cut short and her eyes gazed at the screen. The Battery was almost empty. With an annoyed groan, she took off her backpack searching for her power bank. The only good thing summer had for her was the power of the sun being strong enough to charge the battery of the device. Still having her headphones in her ears. Just in case someone stumbled across and wanted to have a conversation. The easiest way to ignore people without seeming too harsh.

Her glance went up, analyzing anything she was able to catch. The mountains far back on the horizon hugged by a thick layer of clouds that protected them from any unwanted attention. The distance colored them in a blueish gray tone that would capture a lot of people. At least the ones who noticed and wanted to have a peerless experience.

Some strange black orbs were able to sneak into her daydream making her once again face the consequences of her lack of sleep. Slowly blinking she took a look at her watch. 2 pm. Still early. She just wanted to close her eyes for a few more minutes. To help her find her lost energy. Just in case she set her alarm for an hour and put her phone in the pocket of her pants. - “Everybody said that I'm falling, uh Took another line, I'm calling, uh I'm so sick of the nonsense, uh I'ma dive into the mosh pit, uh I don't really think I'm the problem I don't really think it's a problem Me plus me is a problem One gunshot could solve 'em Tell my friends I'm sorry though T-T-T-Tell my sins to go. And all these angels and demons Keep shoutin' and screamin' I'm fallin' from Eden”

The tones of her favorite song woke her up. Her headphones got disconnected while she was asleep. With panic caused by the rush of adrenaline, she paused the music. Taking a deep breath and enjoying the silence again. Her arms were stretched above her head and a yawn made it through her mouth. Slowly gaining back clear vision she looked up again. But something was different. The dusk was slowly setting in.

She failed to set her alarm correctly. But it could be worse, she wasn’t doing anything special today anyway. As she was standing up she looked for the mountains in the far, however, her view was blocked. Big deciduous trees rose in front of her. Maybe she fell asleep in a different place? A little far more into the forest? 

She got herself up and started walking her way back. At least what she thought was the right way. Somehow everything looked a little different. As different as forests could look like. The hiker trail was gone. Slowly breathing away her risen heartbeat she tried to focus. It’s just the forest how bad can it be? She always found her way out of it. She got lost a couple of times whilst exploring new paths but still. The air felt different. Not as heavy as she was used to. The trees were able to give her better oxygen as in the city but they just couldn’t hold all of the smog back.

Her feet automatically began to walk faster and faster as time went by and nothing seemed familiar anymore. She tried to find her starting point again but that seemed rather impossible right now. There was still a lot of light left but everything seemed strange.

She started to run. Jumping over the rocks and logs that blocked her way. As she was trying to bridge over the next log she wasn’t able to see the small lowering that led to her stumbling and rolling a couple of feet down. ‘Great, just great.’ 

Her thoughts were sarcastic, helping her to cope with the panic rising in her throat.

She looked up and let out a short scream. Some big bright yellow eyes were looking at her from above. They belonged to a child with pale blue skin. At least it looked like a child. She didn’t dare to move one muscle, staring at the creature in front of her.

It was barely as tall as a 9-year-old and it’s skin made it look like it was suffocating. A rough crown made out of sticks sat on top of its head. It wore some pants that had seen better days. They seemed to be made out of a cheap fabric that was ripped in several places. A green scarf was hanging from its neck. 

“Hello.” It could speak. His mouth was stretched to wild smile.

“It’s been some time since an ol’ villager got lost in ma forest. That was some fall you had. Are you alright?” Still staring at the creature she tried to get her words together.

“Ehm…yes I tripped and fell. I don’t think I’m hurt. Thank you.”

“Good to hear. So what’s your name? I’m James.”

She hesitated. She didn’t even know if this creature was human. She couldn’t trust just anyone.

“Alva. My name is Alva.”

“Nice to meet you, Alva. So what did ya run away from? Thought the Drowners were after ya.” Drowners? What the fuck are Drowners?

“Yeah so. Excuse me the question but you seem rather … blue?” She was scared to ask something like this but this little creature seemed friendly.

“Oh that. Have you never seen a good ol’ Godling? Because that’s just what I am indeed.” The little boy laughed and seemed to be happy to have found some company.

“That is a Godling?”

“You never heard of us amazing Godling?”

The little blue boy explained to her that Godlings are woodland creatures dwelling in burrows and moss-covered hollow stumps on the outskirts of human settlements. They are deeply rooted in their home territory and perform acts of care and guardianship to those dwelling near their burrows. They watch over people as well as animals, but, shy creatures by nature, they try to do so while remaining unseen. Godlings are drawn to joy and innocence, and so delight in the company of children and usually only show themselves to the young.

“That’s why I am talking to ya. You seem fun. At least you look funny.” The boy started to walk around her while lifting her flannel and poking her skin.

‘He’s the one looking like a tall version of a smurf. What is he talking about?’ Her thought rushes inside of her head, making her regaining the feeling of dizziness.

“So you’re telling me you’re some kind of magical creature as in Harry Potter?” The girl tried to order her thoughts by sitting down and trying to hold on to the facts the little guy was telling her. Maybe she was in a coma? Or dreaming? Possibly. These are the only explanations she could come up with.

“I don’t know anyone called Harry Potter. Is he a friend of yours?”

“Ok, listen up. You’re probably just part of my imagination so why don’t we have some fun while it lasts?” As long as she sleeping and lucid dreaming she could at least make the best out of it.

“Yes, let’s have some fun! I love singing, I love music! I heard some strange melody coming from your direction. That’s how I found you.” James started to do some little happy jumps and clapping.

“Oh, you mean this?” Alva took her phone out of her pocket and showed it to him.

“What witchy device is that suppose to be?”

“No magic. Technology. Let me show you.” She pressed on some Icons and song from earlier continued.

“So fuck me like a rockstar, dancing on a cop car Nothin' in the world can stop me now Fucked up like a rockstar, riding in a cop car No one in the world can help me out.”

The little one danced to the music and showed off some rather random dance moves. Spinning in circles, jumping up and down and throwing his hands in the air.

Still thinking of her lucid dreaming she joined her little Godling friend. Turning the music louder and louder they enjoyed themselves.

Until a growl broke the peace of the music. But both James and Alva were to focused on having von dancing to notice some strange noises. They didn’t hear it, down to the moment when the girl got hit by something sharp, making her fall to the ground.

“Don’t stop dancing Alva, you’re no fun.” The Godling still didn’t realize that Alva was sitting on the ground covering her bleeding upper arm with her hand. Looking up she saw the scariest creature she could’ve imagined. 

In front of her is standing a sickly blue or green colored human, with slime and sludge oozing out of every pore and the acrid stench of rot wafting off of it. No, that wasn’t a human.

“James! What the fuck is that?” The girl cried for help.

Finally objectifying the situation, James was hurrying towards the creature when it rose its arm for another attack.

Covering her face Alva started to realize that this is the moment she was going to die. You can’t get hurt in a dream. That is just not possible. Her arm was on fire, giving her a pain she never had felt in her entire life. This was real. Waiting for the next hit but it never came.

Slowly she opened her eyes to see only James in front of her. The monster not in sight.

“Where did he-?” Completely shocked by the situation and being unable to talk, Alva starred at the boy.

“Don’t underestimate the power of a Godling. Nothing comes between me and my forest. And since you stumbled in it you’re a part of it.” He looked down at her bleeding arm and his eyebrows furrowed.

“You need a healer. As much as I’d love to I can’t heal it.”

The words barely got to the girl. She was scared for her life. She never believed something like this could happen. But one thing she knew for sure. This wasn’t her reality.

“And all these angels and demons Keep shoutin' and screamin' I'm falling from Eden.”

[lnarizakis]

a two-player game (2 lives left!) | k. kenma

masterlist

2 lives left! | a two-player game: kozume kenma x f! reader 

STATISTICS

PLAYER ONE: KOZUME KENMA.

SHOCK: — — — — — 5/5

OBLIVIOUSNESS: — — — 3/5

ADVICE-GIVING: — — — — 4/5

FRIENDLINESS: — — — 3/5

IN LOVE: — — — — — 5/5

PLAYER TWO: (L/N) (Y/N).

SHOCK: — 1/5

OBLIVIOUSNESS: — — — — 4/5

ADVICE-GIVING: — — — 3/5

FRIENDLINESS: — — — — — 5/5

IN LOVE: — — — — — 5/5

(U/N): hello? u still there?

(U/N): hellooooo

(U/N): afk much? haha

(U/N): u didnt finish what u were sYing\

Kenma stared at his screen, wondering what he should say. His mind wandered, thinking about the fact that (Y/N) was somewhere out there, in the comforts of her own home, sitting and playing the same game he was playing. He thought about how she was probably sitting cross-legged, or slouched, or her back completely straight as she probably wore headphones over her ears, or earbuds tucked in the confines of her ears, or blasted the game soundtrack through the speakers of her computer. Kenma sighed, as he slouched back in his chair. A blush crept over his face. He was talking to his crush over a video game. It was practically like texting her. Kenma began to type once more.

applepi: yea im still here

applepi: so abt my crush

No, no, no! What was he doing? He couldn’t possibly tell his crush about his crush! Why? Why would he do that?! He immediately typed in a “never mind.” Despite some protests from the other person, the two pretended to forget that ever happened.

—

All throughout the weekend, Kenma sulked and sulked. There was no particular reason, but he just felt so uncomfortable knowing that he told his crush that he had a crush on someone. There was also the factor that (Y/N) didn’t seem quite interested in what he had to say about his predicament, unlike past times where he could talk about anything he wanted and she would gladly contribute all she had to offer to help the poor boy out.

And so the terrible weekend had ended. It was a nice break for Kenma, being away from everything and everyone; he immersed himself in the virtual world as he let go of all of his worries. But now he had to face reality once more - he had to face (Y/N), the terrible final boss. He had so many more enemies he had to defeat (his teammates, according to Kenma), but the powerful weapon of ignoring them always beat them in the end.

He wanted to stay in his bad mood for the entire school day. It was his plan, and it was a really good plan, but (Y/N) just had to ruin it.

Kenma sat at his desk in his classroom that morning they returned from the weekend. He stared at the nothingness that lay before him on his desk until he heard the sweet sound of (Y/N)’s voice when she came through the door to the classroom. He heard her laugh as she greeted those around her a good morning. He relished in the music as she walked towards her desk.

“Good morning, Kenma-kun!” (Y/N) chirped, as she sat down. Kenma jumped at the sudden words, and he felt warmth everywhere, especially in his cheeks. He smiled at the sound of her greeting, and said one back. God, no one could make him feel the way she makes him feel when he’s around her. He took a deep breath, knowing that his unrequited love consumed his whole heart. Ah, if he were only as smooth as Kuroo was and knew his way with words.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

Kenma frowned; from a mile away, one could tell he was clearly in a bad mood. He hung his head down low, as he was reminded of (Y/N)’s date last weekend.

“Kenma-kun, are you okay? Is there something wrong?” (Y/N) asked, her voice laced with concern. Her eyes studied his face, discontentment written all over it. She wondered what she should do; if only she could consult applepi in this situation. The setter faced (Y/N) and he smiled.

“Ah, it’s nothing, (Y/N)-san, please don’t worry,” he murmured, hoping that she would get the feeling that he would like to be left alone.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

And so for the rest of the time they sat next to each other during class, (Y/N) thought about everything that applepi had advised her to do with every problem that she had:

(U/N): help!!! i cant decide between buying a sword or a dagger from this shopkeeper

applepi: hm get a sword bc u will get more gold out of the enemy

—

(U/N): theres this one friend i have & i feel like she rlly hates me??/?

applepi: are you only focusing on the small details?

applepi: look at the big picture & notice her behavior around u,

applepi: is it different from when shes around other ppl?

—

(U/N): do u think its weird that talking to u feels like an escape from reality?

applepi: no i feel the same.

applepi: i think that talking to someone u barely know is a good way to let loose bc they dont know who u r

—

(U/N): how do you get rid of the feeling of missing someone?

applepi: i talk to them thru text as if they were sitting right next to me

applepi: like how im talking to u right now

...

(Y/N) looked down at her notes to see that she had written nothing compared to all the complicated words written on the blackboard. She had been staring at the blackboard daydreaming about how she had fallen in love with her internet best friend. (Y/N) thought it was silly, really; it was stupid how she had fallen in love over text on a screen. But those words, all of those words that some guy out there named “applepi” had accompanied her throughout her best and her worst times. She could stay up all night to see them up as well, fighting away enemies to clear the level. From in-game items to wise words of advice, (Y/N) owed so much to this person.

And Kenma had no idea that his crush liked him back.

+1 OBLIVIOUSNESS!

—

(Y/N) was a very friendly person; everybody in the volleyball club could see that. It seemed to Kenma, of course, that (Y/N) was the friendliest with Kuroo Tetsuro, the captain. All throughout practice they would constantly make jokes with each other, teasing and pushing each other around. It hurt Kenma; it really did. But (Y/N) did not know that.

In fact, after that dreaded date over the weekend, (Y/N) and Kuroo promised to each other that they would not go out on a second date. They realized that they were better off as friends, for Kuroo could sense in (Y/N)’s eyes and her words that she had the ability to break Kenma out of his shell, even further than Hinata had done. She also told off Kuroo, telling him that she couldn’t date someone who had such weird bed-head hair, much to his disdain. He couldn’t get rid of it! And besides… she already had someone in her heart.

But the point of the matter is: Kenma was taking this completely the wrong way. He watched with jealous eyes as Kuroo and (Y/N) shared playful banter. Her beautiful laugh rang in Kenma’s ears for all the wrong reasons.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

As they practiced serving, Kuroo used this as an opportunity to try out his jump serves. He was consistent, but the one time he hit it into the net, (Y/N), who was watching for stray balls, called out to him, teased him to no end. The other teammates laughed on, especially Haiba Lev, whose serves were just as bad. Kenma mentally cursed at Kuroo, for stealing away (Y/N). He could never possibly curse at him for real; everyone would be in shock at his sudden outburst and ask him what was wrong. (Y/N) would ask him what was wrong. And if that happened… he would freeze up and definitely lose another life.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

When they began practicing receiving, Taketora called out to Yaku to try out Karasuno’s libero’s “Rolling Thunder,” or whatever it was called, to which Kuroo made a sarcastic remark that Yaku could never pull off something as flashy as that. (Y/N) laughed, despite not knowing what the “Rolling Thunder” move was. Once again, Kenma mentally told off Kuroo to stop saying funny things that (Y/N) could laugh at. His jokes were the ones that made (Y/N) laugh; he knows this because she laughed at all the jokes he made over their chat in their video game.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

During their water break, Kuroo and (Y/N) played a little chasing game as she playfully refused to hand him his water bottle. She tossed his bottle to Taketora, who then threw it to Fukunaga, handing it over to Yaku. Kuroo chased the libero around, who passed it on to Inuoka. He gave a hearty laugh as he tossed it to Lev. Silly, clumsy Lev called out to Kenma as the tall boy threw it to Kenma, who with his slow reaction did not catch it in time. The lid of the bottle flew open, and water poured out everywhere. Everyone else watched in shock, but the initial shock passed by them as they all began laughing.

Kenma thought they were all laughing at him.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

The same ordeals continued even after the water break, and after a millennia later, the practice ended. Kenma, along with everyone else, helped clean up after practice. They also cleaned up the little water spill, which (Y/N) thanked Kenma for helping clean up.

Kenma changed his clothes in the club room. He was the only one inside, as Kuroo and (Y/N) were outside waiting for him. He could hear their laughter through the doors. Then they suddenly went silent. Kenma groaned, knowing that they were probably making out or something, as he buttoned his uniform back up.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

He opened the door, and to his surprise, Kuroo and (Y/N) were actually not exploring each others’ mouths with their tongues. Instead, he opened the door to see a smirking Kuroo and a very, very flustered (Y/N). She gasped slightly when she caught sight of Kenma and she turned her flustered face away from his prying eyes. Poor Kenma thought that he had accidentally caught them making out and they pulled away right as he opened the door.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

And so he walked away, leaving them in the dust.

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

He thought he heard her call out, “Kenma-kun, wait!”

10 DAMAGE TAKEN!

1 LIFE LEFT! FINAL LIFE!

—

hello! thank you for reading! next part is the last part, so please comment if you want me to tag you on the last part! whatchu guys think so far? lemme know! i also take requests too........... B)

taglist (comment/ask to be added!): @i-bitch-you-bitch @cadememe @animefan7420 (wont let me tag u :( !!!!) @issalilmessy

[devolympian]

Argo, chapter 4

Argo, chapter 4

Interesting thing to note for when you have what most people consider familial obligations and appointments to meet at a specific time, more often than not, you have the responsibility of waking at a designated time of day. Usually at the ripe healthy time of say, oh I don’t know, 5:15 A.M.

With this set responsibility and a need to earn a living inorder to drive a consumer centric economy with which one needs to survive in it is best to get the recommended amount of sleep 

So, between the multiple rounds of personal gaming tournaments, mountains of junk food and soda, and completely being unwilling to actually go to bed, I can proudly say none of us did that as about three hours after we had all decided to crowd into Skyes bed a loud beeping noise filled the room.

“Well shit” I happily state in an enthusiastic tone as my sleep deprived eyes look up at her ceiling.

“I’ll get it” said an even more sleepless voice to the left of my body, as Skye began to sit up and lean over a still unconscious Clair and I.

She promptly fell on top of us, her massive curly mess of blonde hair practically working as a second blanket that covered the three of us.

“Blondie” I questioned as her green eyes slowly began to close, “you gonna get that one or?”

“Five more minutes.”

And with those words Skye began to softly snore, her chest on top of mine, as she used my shoulder for a pillow.

Clair made sure to do her part by not waking up to the alarm clock and unconsciously wrapping her arms around me and Skye and pulling us into her naked body. 

Yes, Clairabell sleeps naked and it’s perfectly okay that she does so.

With a slight shrug I was perfectly content with letting the alarm clock run its course as I fell back to sleep sandwiched between these too. But, naturally, I remembered that I had a prior engagement to visit some family members who don’t particularly like being stood up.

Shimmying myself upwards I managed to slither out from in between the girls and did my best to step over Clair as she and Skye cuddled under the blanket seemingly unaware that I had left the pile.

Tapping the alarm I went about and started my day.

First thing’s first I made my way to the restroom; stepping over the various soda cans, wrappers, and half finished snacks we had decorated Skyes floor with the night prior (ooh cheetoh, nom), I was determined to perform the most important act of the day which everyone must do regardless of their social political views on it. The brushing of teeth and a warm shower.

Not saying you’re wrong if you don’t do this daily, just saying you need a therapist and time in a mental institute.

Now, let me take this moment to inform you about Skyes bathroom. It is ridiculous, not only because no one needs a personal restroom in their bedroom, but also because of the fact that the place was almost as big as her actual room with a tub that could easily fit three people, yes we’ve tested it, but also a large closet which is now overflowing with various dresses and cute outfits all of which were hand made.

None of these details are important to the story, I feel you should know, they are just my personal thoughts which I felt like sharing.

Anywho, after a nice shower, and making my mouth not smell like ass with the tooth brush I left here, which everyone needs to use TWICE a day, I wrapped the one of Skyes soft pink towels around my hips and headed on over to her dresser.

Now, I think what you’re wondering right now is “Alex, why the hell are you going through your best friend's clothes?” And even if you weren’t I will tell you any ways.

Ever since I was a wee lad Skyes room has been basically my second room, hell I think I’ve slept in her bed more than my own over the years. This was all well and good when we were little and innocent and we could basically fit into each other's clothes, but when this thing called puberty attacked us that started to change.

I got taller, my arms and legs got longer, I started shooting lightning, I got a six pack, a strong jaw, started getting hit on by older women and men even though I was like 12. You know, normal stuff like that.

Skye, on the other hand, went in kind of the opposite direction with her growing less in height and more in boob, and hip. She also gets hit on by older women and men so at least we -    have that experience in common.

In short, I had to start bringing over clothes whenever I stayed the night and sense I stay here a lot, a few of my outfits have more or less made their home in the dresser she keeps her TV and video games on. Granted, we do end up wearing eachothers clothes from time to time, but that’s besides the point.

Pushing our plates from last night to the side and setting the controllers we used back where they went I dropped my towel to the ground and started shifting through the drawer in the search for the allusive boxer shorts.

“Ooh” a tired voice called out, “that’s a nice sight to wake up to.”

I tilted my head in the direction of the bed to see Clair sitting up, her violet eyes still not fully open as she smiled at me.

“Good morning dear” I said, “sleep well, dreams of rainbows and kittens maybe?”

“More like blood, fire, death, all the fun stuff.”

“You and I have very different dreams. . . why am I only noticing that now?”

Clairabell giggled a little, then took a look around the bedroom with her expression changing to slight shock at what she saw.

“Wow, we really made a mess last night.”

“Yes well mortal kombat and super mario bros will do that.”

“Especially if someone spends the game trolling me and Skye!”

“What else was I supposed to do, not hit you with the turtle shell?”

With a sigh. Clair placed the tip of her thumb between her sharp canine teeth and bit down until I could see a bit of blood trickle out.

“Alright gals” she said, holding her hand out infront of her, “be dears and clean this mess up.”

The small amount of blood coming from her thumb quickly started to sizzle and bubbles soon began coming from it.

Every one of the bubbles quickly grew in size, changing color to a dark reddish brown before sprouting bat wings and ears. Each one had a cute cat-like face and little fangs poking out from their adorable smiling mouths.

Soon, Clair had at least ten little blood bats hovering around Skyes room, before they began picking up the mess we had made last night.

Also, I managed to find a pair of my boxers, so this was a huge win for everybody involved.

After stretching a little, Clair stood out of Skyes bed, making sure that the blanket stayed on our blond friend, before picking up her clothes from last night.

“Can’t sleep” I asked as I attempted to hunt down a pair of pants?

“Just thought I might as well wake up” she happily answered as she tossed her dirty laundry into Skyes clothing basket, “don’t want to make you feel lonely now do we?”

“Don’t worry, I know how to entertain myself whenever I’m naked and alone.”

“That’s what every girlfriend wants to hear.”

Just as I had, Clair went into the restroom to get ready for the day ahead.

She brushed her teeth, and I still can’t find a goddamn pair of pants.

“How long do you need to be on Olympus for?” I heard her call out as I slowly lost my mind from lack of lower body wear.

“Probably until ten or twelve hours. I might need to beg for forgiveness if the old man decides to snag a booty call and leaves me to deal with his wife.”

“Your dad’s gross.”

“I know that’s why I have two, but apparently neither of them can bless me with a pair of jeans.”

“Don’t you keep pants in that weird pocket thingy you have?”

“. . .”

Reaching my hand into the air I went ahead and opened the aforementioned pocket thingy, which was a small rip in space which works as a nice little storage space to keep stuff in. To most people it would look as though my hand disappeared into space, and they would be kind of right, one wrong move and my hand is gone. I can get it back, but it takes a while and requires more than two people.

Feeling my way past the treasure, bones, holy grails, and my new little worm buddy I found myself touching what felt like pants and pulled them out.

They were torn a little in the knees and a bit stained but worked for the day.

“Found my pants.”

“I am so proud of you.”

I chuckled a little and prepared to get these things on. But, before I could even slip a leg in, a still naked Clair had managed to get in front of me, wrapped her arms over my shoulder and leaned herself into a kiss.

Naturally, I did what every sane person would do when a naked woman throws herself at them. I grabbed her waist and pulled her close, our naked chest pressing against each other as she forced her tongue passed my lips and we went and explored each other's mouths.

The kiss lasted a good bit of time and I soon found myself pushing Clair against Skyes dresser, my hands sliding down her well toned body as she hooked her thumbs around the elastic band of the boxers I had put on just a moment ago and started pulling them off again.

Eventually we broke the kiss and Clair gave me a smug smile on top of her flushed face.

“Sure you have to go right now?”

With a slight smirk I lifted her onto the top of the dresser, her long legs instantly wrapping around my hips as I leaned in and whispered into her ear.

“I absolutely need to go right now.”

She gave me an annoyed groan before pushing me a little and angrily jumping off the dress as I pulled out a shirt from it.

“Oh come on” I said, laughing a little, “we can’t exactly hook up in Skyes room.”

“She’s sleeping.”

“Her parents are in the room across the hall.”

“I’ll be quiet.”

“I won’t. You know I’m a moaner.”

I wonder if Clairabell glaring angrily at me was a sign that I had annoyed her enough. Naw, I can be more annoying.

After slipping the pants on I popped the shirt I had grabbed over my head.

“That’s Skyes shirt” Clair pointed out as I slid the black tank top on, even though it was rather tight fitting. It had a cute little cartoon panda head smiling on the chest as its cheeks glowed a rosey pink.

“Yes'' I assured her as I fished out a pair of socks and slipped on my boots, “it is most definitely Skyes shirt.”

Clair sighed and patted a sleeping Skye head.

“I’m so sorry for your clothes Skee-skee.”

I watched as Skye slept peacefully next to Clairs lap and felt a slight lump build in my throat.

“Hey” I said without really thinking, “make sure you guys talk, okay?”

Clairabell gave me a confused look; one of her fangs slightly poking out of her upper lip while she tilted her head questioningly.

“Huh? We talk all the time though.”

“Yeah, but. . .”

I thought for a bit, trying to figure out the best words to use to bring up the subject.

“Just, maybe ask her how she’s feeling or something.”

“How does she feel?”

She looked down at blondie again.

“Tired. She’s tired.”

I chuckled and sighed, pushing my uneasy feeling away.

“Yep, that makes sense. Can you open the window for me?”

“Babe, there’s a door.”

“And?”

“. . . good point.”

Upon Clairs instruction a blood bat floated over and pulled Skyes window open for me letting the fresh morning air into the room.

“Thanks,” I said before taking a running start and flinging myself over Skyes bed and out a second story window.

With a loud crash I found myself laying ontop of multiple thorny bushes, the branches digging into my body as I tried to adjust to the aching in my back.

“Perfect landing” I groaned as I got ready to sit up.

“Oh yes, great job” a woman's voice said, “now please get off my plants.”

I turned my head to see two women standing over me. 

The one on the left, who was giving a very annoyed glare, looked like a lighter skinned Skye with bright yellow eyes and had her golden blonde hair tied up into a long ponytail. As was usual for her at this time of the morning, her red tank top and tanned shorts were covered in dirt and mud and black gardening gloves adorned her hands.

The one on the right was dressed up in a white toga like dress with summer lilies braided into her dark hair and she wore a diamond encrusted gold necklace around her throat. Also, her dark green colored eyes had the look of someone who had just watched her son throw himself from a second story window and land on the bushes she had helped her friend plant.

“Morning” I happily said to them before Skyes mom flicked her wrist and the bush, in response to said wrist flicking, jumped up a little and shoved me off of it before settling back into the soil.

“You’re in a chipper mood today” mom said as she helped pull me off the ground.”

“Oh who wouldn’t be when their job entails possible death and dismemberment?”

“Him and the girls practically stayed up the entire night” Skyes mom informed mine, “I swear that Clairabell screams louder than a banshee.”

Moms eyes grew wide as she gave me a once over before looking back at Skyes mom.

“They were playing video games” she assured, having finally realised what she had said.

“Oh thank the gods” my mom said, letting out a sigh of relief.

“In all fairness, Clairabell and I can multitask” I happily informed both of them.

“Alexander, shut up, you are 18, I do not need grandchildren from you yet!”

I laughed at my mom's discomfort, before noticing that a little girl with red hair had wandered up next to her. She was dressed similarly to mom but her dress was a light blue color and the only gold she had on was a pair of golden sandals and a few ringlets on her wrist.

“There’s my girl” our mom happily said, kneeling down to greet my sister, “all ready to go Fiona?”

With half awake eyes Fiona nodded with assurance, doing her best to stay awake. She promptly fell forward having to be caught by our mom.

“Oh sweetheart” mom said, giving Fiona a worried look, “maybe you should stay here.”

“No thank you.”

“She can stay here for the day” Skyes mom stated, “she can take a nap in Luke and Ninas room.”

“That should be fine” mom happily answered before turning back to the little red head, “how about playing with Luke and Nina today?”

“I will later” Fiona stubbornly stated, “I wanna go.”

“Fiona, you can’t be falling asleep though.”

“I won’t, I promise!”

“Honestly” I interjected, “she should be fine coming along. Unless she’s sick or something.”

Lifting her up  by her armpits I held my little sister up in the air.

“You ain’t getting sick on me are ya?”

“No,” Fiona said with a smile.

“Ain’t gonna throw up?”

With this question I tossed the seven year old up into the air, making her laugh like, well like a seven year old.

“Yeah she’s good” I assured our mother, as I still held Fiona.

“ . . .Is Skye ever this stubborn” my mom asked Skyes mom?

“I’m glad she’s not,” she answered, putting her gardening tools away, “makes it easier when I tell her to get rid of things like that.”

She pointed to the pegasus made of water which Skye had created last night in the arcade bathroom.

Like a good healthy horsey, Raindrop had grown in size and was now bigger than your average horse.  

“What” I protested, “you can’t have her get rid of Raindrop! It’s a sweet fragile creature who just wants your love, and understanding, and it just ate a squirrel.”

The clear blue pegasus glared at us as a fluffy brown tail hung from its mouth. 

It slowly backed away out of sight, never breaking eye contact with me specifically. Guess I have a new friend.

“See you later Trinna” mom said, taking Fiona from me and protectively holding her.

And with that, Skyes mom went over to put her tools away and mine started hurrying us over to our house.

“Do you two have everything,” mom asked as she pulled her keys out from her dress pocket.

“Yep” Fiona and I assured her at the same time.

She gives us a smile and a nod before turning to the door into our home and sliding a small golden key inside of the lock.

With a twist of the knob our front door opened up to a brightly lit bridge filled with people, either walking or riding in horse drawn carriages, dressed similarly to mom and Fiona. Far into the distance, at the end of the bridge, was a city built on top of several mountains, the rising sun illuminating the white marble buildings against a still mostly dark sky.

“Woow” I cheered, stretching my arms over my head, “fun trip, honestly the ride up is always the best part.”

“Alex” mom said, closing the door behind us, “what did I say about being a smartass?”

“Go ahead but don’t do it when we’re about to see family.”

“Exactly, and what are we about to do?”

“Visit people you hate?”

Mom lowered her eyes at me, giving me an irritated look.

“I’ll be good in front of grandma” I promised, crossing my fingers behind my back.

With a sigh, my mom locked the door we went through, causing it to sink into the ground and vanish.

“You ain't slick boy.”

I shrugged, perfectly content with my underwhelming slickness, before placing my fingers in my mouth.

Blowing into them, a loud whistle echoed out and the ground beneath us began to shake as a large hole filled with black mud spilled open. Never mind the fact that we were currently on a bridge thousands of miles in the air so a hole like that should just lead down into, well, death.

Speaking of death.

From the black mud, bone white hands started to rise from its murky depths, and latched onto the marble pavement of the bridge. Slowly, four skeletons pulled themselves out, black mud dripping down their skulls and off the dusty dark blue suits they all wore.

Each one had “eyes” of green fire and looked almost identical to each other, with the only difference being a colored rose each wore in the pocket of their suit. Red, yellow, black, and white.

These were my skeletons. Expertly trained, well mannered, professional, cold blooded, and above all else dependable. . . was not what they were.

As the yellow rose stumbled out behind white rose it fell forward, knocking into the latter.

Naturally, White rose raised it’s boney hand and slapped yellow in the face, the rattling of their teeth being loud enough for everyone to hear.

Steadying its skull, yellow turned to white, their flaming eyes lighting up with a dark green as they clutched their coworkers arm and tore it off.

White looked down at its empty sleeve hanging limply to its side while yellow pointed at them with their missing arm, the bouncing flames in its eye sockets indicating that they were laughing.

The flames in whites skull promptly erupted, smoke billowing out of them, as they tackled yellow to the ground.

Smoke and dust covered the ground as white and yellow punched and tore at each other, the latter using the former's arm to slap them in the face. Black rose stumbled forward, attempting to separate them only to be met with a flame shooting up and catching onto their new tie which instantly lit up and was reduced to ash.

Enraged at this insult to not only themselves but also high fashion Black leaped onto the two other skeletons. Red followed suit by elbow dropping all three and joining the pile as they all slapped, bit, hit, and spanked each other.

“. . . Alex, seriously” mom stated, “are you sure you don’t want new servants?”

“Naw” I answered, happily watching these boneheads wrestle, “these guys are perfect.”

Clapping my hands the hole began to bubble again, the bridge shaking even more, as a horse drawn carriage shot out of it like a bullet from the chamber and tore through the four skeletons who all fell to the ground in pieces.

The Carriage was a dark black color, large and round in shape, it looked like something a goth Cinderella would ride inorder to get to the ball and marry a guy she danced with once who only remembered her because he had a thing for feet. There was a bright gold trim on the sides that glowed brightly against the night sky. The wheels were also a gold color with human skulls adorned on the rims and green flames sparking up here and there.

 Attached to the carriage was a horse with pitch black fur with a tail and main glowing with bright green fire. It's onix black eyes surveyed its surroundings making sure there was no enemy nearby as it stomped the marble ground with its strong hooves, small flames lighting up under them as it did so.

“Horsey” Fiona yelled happily as she waved at my helpful stead.

“Hey there Mare,” I said, walking up to her, “how are you doing girl?”

As I reached out to give her a pet on the neck, Mare angrily recoiled and gave me a loud snort. 

“What? No, I didn’t forget about you.”

She neyad loudly, shaking her head from side to side.

“Of course I call you when I need a ride. You’re my horse.”

Stamping the ground, Mare continued to argue, angrily naying and shaking her main.

“Oh that is not fair! It is not my fault that you decided to wreck the neighbors lawn and eat their cat!”

She chattered her teeth and huffed again.

“Look if we had a stable I would absolutely keep you in the backyard but-.”

Mare interjected with a loud inhuman yell as she reared up on her hind legs.

“Oh you don’t bring my bike into this! He is a good boy!”

She landed and shook her head violently.

“Yes it’s a he!”

“Alex” mom said, the now reformed skeletons helping her and Fiona into the carriage, “I know you want her to stay at the house, but it’s not happening. Can we please go?”

“Yeah sure” I answered her.

As she entered the carriage I reached into my little pocket space and pulled out a nice orange carrot for Mare.

“Sorry girl, we’ll convince her somehow.”

She neighed understandingly before happily taking the root vegetable from my hands.

“To the stadium” I yelled at Red as he readied the reins, yellow sitting next to him with treats and a whip in hand. Black and White clung to the back, White still glaring at Yellow with murderous intent, as I swung myself into the inside of it.

As soon as the door was shut we were off, Yellow cracking their whip in the air as Red made sure Mare stayed on course. 

Unlike the black of the carriages outer shell, the seating was a velvet red with enough room to fit six people. The soft upholstery was comfortable and warm to the touch with cushions that made sure you could relax even during the bumpiest of rides.

Naturally, Fiona almost immediately fell asleep, her head resting comfortably on moms lap.

“Hey, she stayed awake longer than usual.”

“Honestly I’m surprised by that” mom said, brushing Fionas hair to the side, “she never gets enough sleep when we have to come up here. I wish she’d stay at home some times, it’s not healthy for a little girl to be up this early.”

“You know that would just cause gran to start whining.”

“If your grandmother really wants to see her she can suck it up and come visit the house.”

“Oh come now, you don’t expect her to live the disgraceful life of staying in a five bedroom, three bath, basement and attic house do you?”

“Well, in all fairness, she’d probably make the neighbors hate us more than they already do.”

We both chuckled a little at Grandmas expense, knowing she probably wouldn’t enjoy hearing this stuff in person. She can be kind of sensitive and natural disaster causing.

Leaning against the door I rested my head on  the window and watched as we rolled past the people walking along the bridge, none of them batting an eye at the carriage driven by four skeletons and drawn by a hell horse. In all fairness compared to the massive skyscrapers in the mountain, the rulers of the city control nature itself, and the fact we can all  breathe despite the altitude, probably making our little vihicall about as interesting as an ant carrying food ten times its size. A neat site but nothing mind blowing.

Granted, ants are pretty mind blowing if you put into perspective how they basically work to create a suitable environment for their colony with everyone having their assigned roles thus allowing them to work as fulfilling members of ant society. 

That being said, this type of government is very totalitarian all things considered so there must be a widespread outbreak of ant uprisings which most likely are quilled by the ants in black suits. You can say they’re not real, but we all know they’re out there.

“So” mom said, interrupting my deep and meaningful inner monologue about ants and ant related conspiracy, “should we talk about what’s been bothering you?”

I sighed and sat up in my seat.

“Oh you know, normal stuff.”

“Define normal for you?”

“Giant monsters, universal travel, blood sucking girlfriend who wants my socially awkward best friend to move into a dorm with her while she’s too scared to say no, oh and a new rpg came out that I am just dying to play.”

“Aw, is my little boy having girl trouble?”

“What can I say, I’m just a modern day Casanova. On a related note, my Italian is getting better.”

Mom rolled her eyes, a smile still on her face as she let out a chuckle.

“Well Giacomo, care to tell your loving mother about your, um, socially awkward blood sucking best girlfriend issue?”

“Blood sucking girlfriend and socially awkward best friend” I corrected, “also, one can summon horses.”

She blinked a bit then sighed.

“I really should have set you up on more play dates with normal kids when you were little.”

“Aw, but if you did that you wouldn’t have met Skyes mom.”

“I don’t mind Skye, reminds me of your dad, kind of. The blood sucking girlfriend is the one I have issues with.”

“Oh Clair isn’t that bad. Plus, if I remember right, you’re partially the one who arranged for me and her dating.”

Mom shrugged at my statement.

“It was either that or have her daddy demand your head on a spike. Now, talk.”

“Dang, knew you weren’t gonna let the issue go.”

I rubbed my neck, feeling a little awkward talking about my friends with my mom. She had more on her plate to deal with other than my personal drama. But, I guess I don’t feel that bad.

“Clairabell has been looking into her and Skye going to college together, and I’m pretty sure Skye doesn’t want to go. But, neither of them are talking about it so, yeah, not really sure what to do.”

Yep, even to me that sounds like a dumb problem that could be easily solved if we all just sat and talked it out. And, based on the look mom was giving me, she probably felt the same.

“Ok” she eventually said, “and in what way is that your problem?”

“Huh?”

“Alex, that has nothing to do with you. They’re both big girls, they can work out their problems.”

I blinked in surprise.

“Well, I mean, they’re my friends, so. . .”

“So what?”

“So, I want to help them.”

She shook her head disapprovingly at my response, her dark brown hair bouncing a little as she did.

“Alexander, I get that you love them, but their problems are not yours to solve, so you don’t need to worry about it.”

“I, I guess. But-”

“No buts.”

She narrowed her eyes a little, making it clear that this wasn’t a subject we were going to argue on.

“You have work, and your sister, and your own issues to deal with.”

I felt my stomach slowly drop more and more as she spoke and reminded me of how stupid my worries were.

She was right after all, Skye not telling Clairabell how she felt, and Clairabell not wanting to listen, those were not my problems.

But, still. . .

I went back to looking out the chariot window, watching as the pavement of the bridge slid by as we drove in silence.

Well, we did for a few minutes, then I felt mom poke me repeatedly on the cheek.

“Oi” she said with each poke, “oi, oi, oi!”

I smiled and looked up, finding my mom leaning forward with a bag of gold coins dangling from her fingertips.

She gave me a warm smile and dropped the coins into my lap.

“Quit pouting, you’re gonna make me feel like a bad mom.”

“Aw, you’re not a bad mom” I responded, opening the bag and eyeing the coin, “I’m just really good at making people feel guilty. This is chocolate isn’t it?”

“Boy, you get paid a fortune a year, you don’t need real gold.”

“I ain’t complaining.”

I smiled and started unwrapping a coin to enjoy the snack, before handing a few back to mom.

“Here” I said, dropping them into her hand, “Fiona loves these too.”

“Yeah, that’s why I got her her own bag. These are yours.”

“Then I guess we’ll call it an offering to a good mom.”

She let out an amused laugh.

“Gods, why is my youngest son so cheesy?”

“No idea” I told her, chomping down on the delectable coin, “I personally blame it on Television and video games for giving good moral lessons.”

She sighed, but still smiled.

“You are such a dork.

Mom went back to watching Fiona sleep and we rode into the city in silence for a bit.

“Honestly” she eventually said, “I’m glad you’re such a good kid, but it wouldn’t hurt you to worry about yourself more.”

“Yeah” I responded, understanding what she meant, if only a little bit.

I pulled out another chocolate coin and sat it in between my cupped pointer finger and thumb before flicking my thumb up and giving the coin a good flip and catching it in my palm.

“Hey, maybe I should act like the old man more?”

I gave mom a wide smile at this statement and she responded by rolling her eyes.

“Alex” she said, “if you start acting like the old man just remember that I dictate your living arrangements.”

“Aw” I teased, trying to lighten the tension, “not a fan of selfish people?”

“Being selfish is fine. He’s just a disrespectful asshole. Never cared for those.”

“If that were true you would have thrown me out years ago.”

“You’re just disrespectful. The assholeness is currently being debated.”

“Aw, that’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever gotten.”

“Oh shut up Alex.”

Despite her words she had a smile on her face.

Eventually, we pulled into the city.

The street lights illuminated our way as we walked through the busy streets filled with people of all races and sizes and other worldly species in togas. Despite how early it was the city was still bustling and busy as if it were early afternoon.

Shops filled with exautic items lined the streets next to fancy restaurants and stores filled with fancy clothes that normal people could never hope to own. As we went deeper in, the clothing people wore became more elaborate and extravagant almost as if they were trying to make themselves match the streets paved with literal gold.

“Did dad say they could use his gold?”

“No and I am still trying to get them to give it back. Honestly, their taste is just tacky.”

“I feel I need to point out that we decorate our house with bones and diamonds.”

“Alex, that is a theme. It might be tacky, but it makes sense. This is just a bunch of people showing off how rich they are. Besides, Pluton is in charge of decorating.”

“Way to blame your son for the way the house looks Ma.”

“I blame all my children for everything. Didn’t you figure that out already?”

“I was in denial.”

We joked around a little more as we eventually rode deeper into the city.

It was a nice summer morning even here, with birds of all kinds singing joyful tunes and plants you wouldn’t normally see together decorating the parks and sidewalks.

Mount Olympus, the rich neighborhood to end all rich neighborhoods. 

While we continued our stroll, I was content to rest against the side of the cart, daydreaming until we arrived at grandmas. At least, until, the chariot pulled to a sudden stop with a jerky motion and Mare let out a loud whine.

“Oi” Mom yelled, slapping the roof, “why’d we stop?”

In response Red poked his head in, by holding it in his hand and putting it through the open window.

His teeth chattered and he let out a gargling hiss to inform us of why we had stopped.

Mom sighed and slouched in her seat, Fiona still in her lap.

“Then just kill them.”

“Mom, no.”

“Alex, they started it.”

“Yeah but we can’t just murder all of our problems.”

“You sure” she said, hopefully jokingly, “the old man seems to solve a lot of his problems that way. Of course, it does make your fathers work stack up so I’m a little pissed about that.”

“How about I go deal with them?” I said, opening the door, “give daddy less paperwork?”

“Carefull, they might cause you to develop some humility.”

“No worries about that happening. I’ll be done in like, I don’t know, two, three minutes. Meet you at grandmas. Oh, I missed the step. . .”

She groaned with annoyance as her handsome, awesome, super smart son fell out of the carriage and onto the dirt of Olympus.

“Way to jump to the rescue there superman” she chimed.

I chuckled a little as I layed on the ground, before turning my head to the right and spotting the roadblocks that stood in Mares way.

“Hi” I happily said to the tall man wearing a dark blue tank top. He had a rather annoyed look on his soft face, with his ocean green eyes glaring at me and his large, muscular, arms crossed over his chest.

His dark blue hair was slicked back and had a slight gleam to it while a few scales decorated his broad shoulders and a gold belt encrusted with gems of all shapes and sizes held his gray and white camouflage pants up.

By his side were two rather younger men who looked to be either twins or clones of each other. My personal experience has told me to bet on the latter, but you can never be too sure.

They both wore back basketball shorts and red shirts to go along with their messy strawberry blonde hair. Only way to tell that they weren’t completely identical were their eyes; both of which glowed unatrually like the brights of a car, but while the one on the left had shining baby blues, the gent on the left glared at me with dark red irises. Not blood red, more like a wine red.

Just like with the big bad in the middle, I noticed a few fish-like scales running along their necks and half way down their arms. 

“Yo” the blue hair in the middle yelled at me, “are you going to get off the ground or what?”

“Naw” I responded, still sprawled on the ground, “the road feels good on my back.”

“Get off the ground Alex” Mom demanded from the carriage.

“So what can I do for you?” I asked while standing up, “directions, a ride maybe?”

“All we require is your head on a spike” the blue haired one responded. He took a boxer's pose and silver metal slowly started molding around his hands, appearing from nowhere I could see, until he was wearing two silver gauntlets with spiked knuckles.

“Sorry, can’t exactly do that seeing how I currently need my head. Mind me asking why you would want it though mate?”

“Hey” red eyes shouted, “he ain’t your mate guy!”

“Well then I ain’t your guy friend!”

“He ain’t your friend buddy,” the blue eyed one shouted at me.

“Well then I’m not his buddy mate!”

“He’s not your mate guy!”

“Then I’m not his guy friend!”

“I’m leaving now” mom stated, closing the carriage door, “meet us at grandmas okay?”

“Ok mom” I responded, waving them off.

“I’m not your mom dude” Blue eyes shouted.

“He’s not your dude pal” Red eyes shouted back.

“Seth, Joey” blue hair said, his head in his hand, “please stop.”

The three stepped out of the way, blue hair forcing Seth and Joey to bow their heads as mom passed in the sable steed drawn carriage before they took their spots in front of me again.

“Now, draw your weapon!”

Blue hair took his stance once more, their eyes narrowed at me.

“. . .Why?”

“Be-because I’m challenging you.”

“Ok but why are you challenging me?”

“Because!”

“Because why?”

“Because, shut up, draw your blade!”

“Blade as in vampire character?”

“Vampire? Your sword!”

“But I don’t use a sword.”

“Then your spear!”

“I don’t wanna draw my spear, honestly, I’m not the best artest.”

Blue hair looked ready to leap at me and scream at the top of their lungs while strangling my handsome neck.

I’m having a lot of fun.

He takes a deep breath and slowly calms down.

“Okay” they said, “please, please, get any weapons you might own, hold it in your hands, and fight me with them.”

“Ohhh! Ok, why didn’t you just say so?”

I could literally hear the last straw on blue hairs, patients breaking as they once more took a boxers pose, their eyes narrowed at me.

“My name is Markis, Muto, Reads, son of Poesidon and Pirate queen of the Caribbean Martha Reads!”

Yep, saw that one coming.

Guess good ol uncky Poesidon is still upset that I stabbed him in the face for unspecified reasons oh so long ago (last Tuesday).

“Alright Mark ma boy” I told him holding my arms up to the sky, “guess we can have a quick play date.”

Slowly, a leather strap materialized on my right arm and a thunderous roar echoed out as dark clouds gathered above us. 

Splitting through the black clouds a golden shield slammed into my arm and attached to the leather strap with a click.

I felt electricity flow out of my body and into the metal of my golden shield that was the size of my body, the aegis.

“My name’s Zee” I told Mark, adjusting aegis to be in front of me, “bastard of Zeus, and. . .”

I held my other hand towards the ground, palm opened, feeling the dirt beneath give way.

In a flash a black and gold two pronged spear emerged and pushed against my palm as I wrapped my fingers around it.

Casually, I pointed my bident at Mark to show him I was ready.

“Son of Hades.”

[themilky-way]

paris {s.r}

gif credit: sincerelycalum on tumblr

pairing: spencer reid x female! reader

summary: while working on a case in paris, you and spencer realize that there may be more to your friendship than you think. how long until the city of love casts a spell on you? based on this song.

warnings: none i think it’s just fluff  (like everything I write lol)

author’s note:  this long af bc this was supposed to be a series and this would’ve been the second part but the first one i posted didn’t do well lmao. so instead, just enjoy this one shot and maybe i’ll post the first one again if u guys want but idk. also we a lil bold in this fic bc we love confident queens

grabbing your go bag and cell phone from the charging port, you quickly made your way to the jet that was already waiting for departure. the team was ready to make their way to paris, france on a case for a serial killer that migrated from california. it had been difficult for everyone, considering the unsub wasn’t leaving much evidence. 

despite it being for work, you and the team were excited to explore one of the most beautiful cities in the world. if you thought about it, it was kind of like killing two birds with one stone: the opportunity to finally catch a gruesome killer and a vacation. morgan was practically shaking with anticipation as he kept getting up from his seat and bothering garcia every five minutes and then going back. 

“just think about it, baby, all the smokin’ hot people we’re gonna meet. I mean, it’s called the “city of love” for a reason!” derek rambled to penelope as she typed away rapidly on her computer. 

“this isn’t a vacation, sugar, but yes I’m aware of all the potential babes we might encounter. and for that, I prepared another bag,” she giggled as derek started to laugh along with her. he raised his hand to high five her and she lifted hers too, lightly patting it. 

“oh you’re bad bad aren’t you,” he laughed, and they both continued to talk too rapidly for the others to understand. meanwhile, you had grabbed your seat next to emily and right across from you was spencer. you and emily were talking about god knows what, the range going from guessing the types of desserts paris had to perhaps renting a motorcycle for your stay. the banter between the both of you was endless, and you even started watching a french movie to get some pointers on the language. 

between the jokes and wondering remarks, you didn’t really notice that spencer was observing you the whole time. sure, he could play it off as if he were judging both of his coworkers for their lack of knowledge on french culture and linguistics, but he wasn’t really doing that, was he? no, in fact, he was watching you in such depth, the way he’d look at the pages of a book, and taking in every aspect that you had to present. he was, in the most simplest way it can be described as, mesmerized.

the day spencer realized that he looked at you this way shocked him. to be completely honest, it scared the hell out of him. he never pictured you as anything more than a friend, and he always thought you were too relaxed for a job like this. he told himself that he’d leave the matter alone, that their would be no thinking or second-guessing of any kind. but the second he’d lay his eyes on you, it’s like the rules he made up never quite existed. however, the more he looked back on it, there was one question that urged this matter forward: am I gonna find out why?

he shook out of his deep concentration to look up at the voice that was now speaking to him. his eyes focused again and he stared at you confused.

“reid, you okay? you’re spacing out on me, buddy,” you said, head turned slightly from the position you were seated in. you had shifted in your seat to face emily, your left leg bent on the cushion and your right giving you stability on the ground. 

“sorry, I was busy thinking.”

“well, try not to use that big ol’ brain of yours too much yet, we’re gonna need it when we land,” you said, giving him a small wink. he gave you a small smile while a tiny smear of rose-colored blush crept its way onto his cheeks. it was a friendly gesture; everyone on the team did it so you thought, “why the hell not?”

reid opted to read a little bit while on the plane so that he could get in some new interrogating tactics for when they met the unsub. you and emily continued to watch french movies and spot all of the hot actors and actresses you thought would be fake, penny and morgan, well they were on a whole different level of fun. the only ones quiet and doing some work was hotch, jj, and rossi. 

the plane slowly began to descend, butterflies erupting in your stomach from the fall, before the captain announced, “we are now ready to descend and are getting ready for arrival.”

when the captain finished, hotch began, “alright, listen up, team. the location of this case was by chance and we shouldn’t get distracted by anything or anyone. do your job quickly and efficiently as you’ve always had.” he spoke sternly, his shoulders were straight and his face emotionless and heavy with sleep. to any other person, hotch would be a zombie who helped solve murder cases, but to the bau team, he was their leader and they admired him. 

“oh, come on, hotch! if we work extra hard these few days and have enough time by the end of the wee-” you began before getting cut off. 

“yes, we can stay a while and explore the city. the unsub and the evidence altogether looks promising, so hopefully we can wrap it up quick. but don’t stray from your path in the meantime.”

everybody nodded and “yes, sir’d” before standing up and grabbing their luggage from the compartments at the top of their seats. everyone walked out in pairs and headed for the taxi cars that were waiting for them. you took emily, morgan took reid, jj and penelope partnered up, and of of course rossi and hotchner stuck together. at different paces, the team agreed at a nearby hotel closest to the paris police department that had called them. getting your bags in the car, along with the rest of the girls’, you made your way to the hotel to check in and drop your luggage off.

at first glance, it looked like a simple building; a cream color adorning the walls and some very intricate, sophisticated street lamps aligned on the perimeter of the parking entrance. before entering, there was a sort of roundabout you had to pass in order to reach to valet parking, and in the center of the roundabout, was a water fountain. it was simple, yes, but to parisians only. to outsiders, like the bau, it was already quite elegant. the ladies, including you, pitched in a little to pay for the ride and once you got out, there was a young man who offered to take your bags inside. 

“avez-vous besoin d'aide, madame?” the boy said. all of you looked at each other a little confused because even though you thought it might’ve helped, watching french movies for nine hours with emily wasn’t doing it. 

“he’s asking if you need help with these. here,” penny clarified before putting her tiny hello kitty handbag in yours, “let me handle it.”

she walked up to the somewhat tall boy, looked him over once, and said in the thickest french accent there was, “oui je fais mon doux muffin merci beaucoup.” she did a tiny hair flip to her blonde curls and came back to where the rest of you were standing.

“penny, uh, what exactly did you tell that boy?” emily said, stifling down a small giggle.

“nothing, i just said “yes” that I needed help and “thank you very much.”

“no, no, the other part. there must’ve been another part to it. tell us!” jj said, grabbing penelope by the shoulders and shaking them lightly. 

“what other part?”

“the one where you made a boy dressed in victorian era clothing blush like a maniac over some luggage,” you laughed. to this, garcia started to laugh too and then even harder. you and the rest of the girls had puzzled grins on their faces, but the inkling of seeing your friend laugh so hard was reaching your guys’ throats too. 

when she finally caught a breath to speak, she said, “I called him my sweet muffin!” at this, you and the girls broke into heaves of laughter, and couldn’t stop. you and jj had to bend down and place a hand on your stomachs’ to stop them from hurting a little. after a while, there was no words just the intake of small breaths and exhaling them out for control. when the fun comedy was over, you guys followed the boy and his friend inside the hotel lobby. `you took turns registering, and when you were all done, you saw that the rest of the team had beat you to it. they were sitting down in a cushion area near the front desk and were waiting for you guys. 

“okay, now that the rooms are ready, you all can pick a partner to dorm with. it doesn’t really matter, but just choose wisely. I know some people get too crazy when they’re together,” hotch announced, flashing a look at you and garcia before handing out keys. you and emily teamed up per usual, and the rest pairing up in the same order they had been in before. once everyone was ready, you started to make your way up to your rooms while making small chatter with the rest of the gang. emily inserted the key into the lock of the door, and as soon she opened the door, your eyes’ were met with the most delicate and luxurious room you both have ever encountered. 

on either side of the room were two king sized beds with victorian style bed sheets; the design on them were floral, the pastel shades of the roses tracing the outline of the bed beautifully. the ends of the sheets were long, but shabby, which added a nice, elegant, and almost romantic feel to it. 

in the middle of the two beds was a small isle that allowed one person to walk on it at a time. at the end of it, was the entrance to the balcony, which gave view to the famed Eiffel Tower. the small cities, parks, and lakes, that made up the ground portion of the tower were now completely lit up, giving way to an entire new feeling for you. you set your bags on the bed, pushing the cushion down with your hand to feel the softness of it, and made way to the balcony.

“i’ll be right out here, em, if you need me,” you said, waiting for the small “yup” that came from her before proceeding. as soon as your leg crossed the small threshold to the other side, the fresh, cool breeze of the night flooded your senses. you smiled and took in the emotion it gave you, fully crossing over to stand against the railing now. you took in the sights first. the trees that shaped the parks swiveled against the current of the wind, couples of all ages walking hand in hand, admiring how the moon and the stars matched so well to their love. the lights of the tower gleaming brightly and almost seemingly looking at you, as if they asked you, “don’t you realize, (y/n)? don’t you pay attention?” 

paris, and everything it was offering you at that moment, put you through a trance. one where you began to actually speak to the lights, the very same ones that millions of others had fallen in love under. “realize what? I do pay attention, i always have, but what is it I need to notice?”

you kept staring and looking around, if the lights actually were talking to you and this wasn’t a dream, and that you weren’t crazy. you looked around the balcony and walked on it to spy a tiny clue your instincts informed you about. soon enough, you noticed that the balcony was shared by the room next door. you placed your right hand on the rail to kneel down a bit and see if you could figure out who the room belonged to.  

“maybe it’s penny, oh god please be penny. i’m not in the mood to see rossi in scooby-doo underpants...” you whispered fairly. just when you saw a dainty silhouette about to exit the restroom, you turned around to your end of the balcony. 

“(y/n)? are you spying on- (y/n), we’ve been here one hour! our hot, paris boyfriends can wait until we catch the unsub,” emily, whose head was the only part of her body on the outside of the balcony, whispered. “come on, get changed into some comfy clothes. we can take a look at the victimology together.”

standing up, you made one quick glance at the room and the figure was already gone and so was the light. thanks for that, eiffel tower lights, you thought. you crossed to you room again and took a shower before arranging your clothes according to the days of your stay. you put your pajamas on and climbed onto one side of emily’s bed to wait for her to come out of the restroom, since you guys took turns brushing your teeth. 

after about a half and hour of rearranging victimology statements and connecting photos from the crime scene, the both of you were ready to go to sleep. emily turned off her lights and you took one last glance at the view before doing the same. 

and then you heard footsteps on your balcony. 

----------

“you guys think I can woo a french girl tonight?”

“honey, with those shoes? not a chance,” garcia pointed out. morgan made a pout at her response and then acted as if he was offended. the team laughed and then raised their glass in unison and took a sip. the case, overall, went well. you guys managed to catch the unsub in an isolated tunnel and brought him over to the parisian authorities. you and jj had taken the only victim left alive to the station to make one final statement to the news. the rest of bodies were given proper burial and the families were finally given closure. 

because the team had performed beyond excellent, and there were still a few days left before your departure, the team opted on celebrating on a night out. currently, you and your friends were seated around a small circular table inside a local bar, chatting away at whatever came to mind. 

you chose to only drink mineral water, mostly because you knew that you were technically still at work and you didn’t want to risk being drunk in case of an emergency. reid, in a similar manner, chose a glass of soda to toast with. but while doing so, he found himself looking at you in the same way he did on the plane. he hadn’t been able to take in your features that night, but as everyone was so deeply distracted, he began to notice everything. 

he looked over your outfit for tonight, a red, plaid mini skirt with a black turtleneck. the shirt itself was fitted to your body and allowed your angles and curves to be accentuated perfectly. the skirt permitted your legs to be highlighted in a decent, and elegant manner. your hair was loose tonight, and with every breeze that made its way through the bar windows, it caused small strands to caress your face lightly and some to stick to your lip gloss. the heels, oh god, the heels. it drove him crazy; the delicate way in which they clicked when you walked on the concrete, how they would sometimes cause you discomfort and force you to stop and fix it,  how your gentle hand had grasp his shoulder for balance or else you’d fall. 

everything about you tonight was immaculate. no matter how hard he forced himself to look away from you, to stop thinking of you in any other way than a coworker, and to just drink his soda which was becoming less carbonated with every passing second, he just couldn’t. and it was scaring the hell out of him. 

you on the other hand, were still trying to decipher what the tower lights had asked you. what was there to realize? you were here, in paris, the city where millions of people fall in love, to fight a serial killer. the chances of you finding love, especially on a balcony where you had spied on a stranger, were slim. 

by the time you finished your thought process, you noticed that hotch was looking at you with a puzzled expression. 

“everything alright, (y/n)?” he softly asked you. 

“yes, sir, just thinking. is it okay if I head back to my hotel?”

“yes, of course, you might even catch reid on the way there. he left a couple of minutes ago.”

“thank you, sir. good night,” you spoke and got up from your chair, adjusting your skirt as you did so. huh, he left? weird, you thought. you left a tip for the waiter and bid farewell to the rest of your companions before grabbing your coat and clutch and exiting the bar. 

it was rather close to your hotel, so within a few minutes you had reached your dorm and set your things down. sitting down on the edge of the bed, you bent over slightly to unlatch your heels and slip them off your feet. you set them aside and you laid on your back for a few minutes. the only light in your room was the bathroom’s as you didn’t like strong lights shining during the night, so these dimmed ones would do. 

you closed your eyes for a little while and just let the sounds of the city flow through you. you had one opportunity to experience paris, and you weren’t gonna take it for granted. for a while, only your small inhales and exhales of breath were audible, the aura of the room peaceful. 

it wasn’t until you heard footsteps, the very same ones from that other night, on your balcony. your eyes flew open and you pushed your body upward to look back at your window. this is my shot, my chance, you thought. could it be a super old man who was here on vacation? yes. could it rossi, who might’ve gotten the dorm next to yours? maybe. were the possibilities of who the hell was on your balcony in a parisian hotel endless? again, yes. 

but you had to see for yourself, figure out what exactly the universe, paris, was telling you. so you got up from your bed and creeped quietly to the window and slid it up. you crossed the threshold, and even though your light was limited, you were able to make out a tall, thin figure. you inched a little closer, hands crossed over your chest to appear somewhat like a normal human. you wouldn’t have figured it out until he spoke. 

“(y/n)?”

his voice sent shivers down every inch of your body, and no, it wasn’t the cold air of the city, it was him. it was spencer. it caught you by surprise, the feeling his voice gave you, but you tried to play it off. he never made you feel this way, why now? 

“(y/n)? you okay?” he spoke again. this time you lightly shook your head and walked closer to where he was standing so you could lean on the railing now. his body followed yours, and now you were able to make out the perpexled look on his eyes. 

“hi, yeah, I’m good. just didn’t expect to find you here, that’s all,” you spoke quietly, unsure of yourself. he noticed, obviously he noticed, it’s spencer. 

“yeah, same here. I heard footsteps the other night here but I had just taken a shower so I didn’t come out until later.” you glanced up at him when you realized that he was the figure that was in the restroom you’d seen. the one you had spied on and probably would’ve seen naked if emily hadn’t interrupted. a tiny blush made its way onto your cheeks, and you were quite thankful the dark covered the rosy color a little. 

but spencer wasn’t dumb, much less stupid, and if he noticed every little detail about you tonight, he saw how you became around him. and god, he sure did like it. “oh, well that’s good, i guess,” was all you could mutter. so you turned your body now to face the tower, elbows on the railing and hands folded together. he saw the shift in stance and he followed, so now you were both side by side and looking at a view that somehow resembled your emotions for one another. 

“hey spence?”

“yeah?”

“have you ever fallen in love?”

his voice hitched a little and he felt his throat tighten. he let out a small cough to mask the impact of your question, but he found the strength in his voice to retort.

“what makes you ask?”

“no, no reason, i was just curious, ya know. being in paris and all,” you answered. you began to feel intrusive for asking such a personal question, but it had seemed easy for you to do so because of your friendship. you were looking at him as you replied, but then looked back towards the view again. the both of you stood in silence for a couple minutes, your guilt seeping in more at this point. 

“only once. it didn’t end well for the both of us,” he broke the silence. you turned your head to look at him, and you were about to open your mouth to say something when he spoke again. 

“but it happened a long time ago. i don’t think about her anymore.”

you straightened up a little and you continued to face him, prying a little deeper than you should be. “so who do you think about now?”

he glanced at you, his face quickly returning back to the nature displayed in front of him and then looked back to you. a small grin began tugging at his lips, as if he meant to ask, “is this your way of playing with me?”

you gazed up at him and took this sudden swerve of confidence to glance at his lips, and then back up to him, your own smile forming. 

“she’s standing on a balcony with me in paris.” 

[365days365movies]

January 6: Last Action Hero (Epilogue)

First thing first, I do indeed like this movie. It’s got a cult following, and if you look it up on Tumblr, you can see that this cult following is present on this very site! So, if you’re in that cult following, well...

I’ve got good news and bad news, to quote the Dean. Yes, I’ve been rewatching Community, what of it? Anyway, I do like this movie...and it’s an absolute mess that makes no sense when you really think about it.

Rather than go into my feelings on it now, I’ll just put up the review, OK? Let’s go. And get ready for a lot of words. I know, atypical of me.

Review

Cast and Acting

I appreciate that Arnold was, essentially, making fun of himself throughout this movie. And in the end, he almost injected some character depth into Jack Slater. Almost. THe movie itself didn’t really let him, but I’ll get into that in the next section. Austin O’Brien does fine with Danny, but he doesn’t save from getting juuuuuust a little annoying there around the middle. Again, there’s obviously something deeper to the character, but the movie didn’t let O’Brien explore any of that depth. But then again, he’s also far too emotionless in the movie, considering the events that happen within it. Unfortunately, that’s common for ‘90s movie kid protagonists, and it’s very jarring in this example. On the flip side, Charles Dance is fantastic. Seriously. I love him. Dance actually appears to be taking this role seriously throughout most of the film. Toward the end, he starts to get a little hammy during that ending villain speech (a speech literally about film villains), but he’s a great casting choice, and a great actor. But then, it’s Charles Dance. Who’s surprised by that? 

Prosky’s Nick is extremely endearing. Despite his lack of screen time, he quickly became one of my favorite characters in the film as well, placing second above Slater but below Benedict. Prosky also doesn’t get a lot of time to inject much character into Nick, but we still get a sense of who this man is. Everybody else is fine; they play the characters that they’re supposed to play, no complaints there. In fact, any complaints belong in the next section. A couple of standouts amongst this supporting cast includes Tom Noonan’s Ripper (terrifying, and played very well), Bridgette Wilson’s Whitney/Meredith Caprice (the first film role gimmick to her character makes me smile), and Art Carney in his last film role. 

Cast and Acting: 6/10

Plot and Writing

THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH IN THIS GODDAMN MOVIE. OK, let me explain. Zak Penn and Adam Leff wrote a story for the movie, parodying ‘80s action films like Die Hard and Lethal Weapon. This was Penn’s first movie, and he’d go on to some success including writing the story for The Avengers with Joss Whedon, alongside a few great movies, and many...not great ones. Anyway, they sold the story, and the screenplay duties were handed to Shane Black, the writer for, uh...Lethal Weapon. OK. Black, in case you didn’t know, tends to inject his screenplays with irreverence and meta humor. Check out his earlier movie The Monster Squad (I love that goddamn movie), and his later movies Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (on the list) and Iron Man 3 (form your own conclusions from that). That screenplay is VERY different from the original, and only kept a few elements. And a bunch of script doctors and edits later, and you have...a mess.

THIS MOVIE IS A MESS. IT IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. There are SO many potentials for character development and plot points that are unexplored, while the number of meta jokes and commentary and film references are SO FREQUENT that they end up breaking the entire concept of the movie. Here’s an example of what I mean: WHERE IN THE SHIT IS THE MOVIE UNIVERSE SET? Weird question, but think about this. In Slater’s world, there’s a widely accepted cartoon cat cop voiced by Danny DeVito. And, just...how? How does that work? If Danny gets zapped into the movie, that means that all of the stuff, ALL of the stuff that we see in the movie is in Slater’s universe. And that makes...no sense. Unless the film franchise is just that batshit crazy, which I doubt. This movie is absolutely crazy, and it ends up breaking itself with plot holes. There are a lot more, but this section is already long, and I’m about to add a paragraph.

See, new paragraph. Why? Well, I should say this: a lot of the commentary about the film industry and action films of the day actually do work really well. The movie-in-a-movie universe does have some great references and jokes, and that stuff actually salvages the film somewhat for me. Man, I love some of that stuff...but there’s also so much of it, that it becomes draining. Plus, the balance between the movie world and the real one is heavily skewed towards the former, not giving us enough time in the real world, and missing the opportunity to have Arnold fight Jason or Freddy Kreuger. I mean...come on. Of all the missed opportunities in the world...that’s the biggest one I’ve ever heard. Whoof.

Plot and Writing: 4/10

Direction and Action

John McTiernan, the director of Die Hard, apparently didn’t have a hell of a lot of time to make this movie, and the production of this film is legendarily a mess. That said...direction was fine. I think McTiernan did OK, and he wasn’t the biggest issue with this movie. The action, on the other hand, is the most ridiculous shit I’ve ever seen...and I love it. A LOT. It’s constantly over-the-top, and I’m goddamn HERE for it, as I said before. If there’s anything else to talk about with this movie, it’s the goddamn action. Hell yeah.

Direction and Action: 7/10

Production Design

Costume and set design for this movie was sometimes pretty suthentic, similar to that of The Running Man. And sometimes, also like The Running Man, IT IS GODDAMN INSANE. The weird-ass creative choices in this movie boggle the mind. I didn’t even MENTION the dominatrix cop you see when Slater’s fired. Yeah, look it up. This movie makes no sense 50% of the time, from a viaul standpoint. And yet, sometimes, it’s just straight-up good looking, especially when you get to the real world. Look, if there’s anything I can see, its that this movie’s production design is extremely memorable. And for that...yeah, it weirdly deserves some credit. Might’ve melted by brain, but, hey, I ain’t gonna forget it!

Production Design: 8/10

Music and Editing

AC/DC, Aerosmith, Alice in Chains, Megadeth, Def Leppard, Cypress Hill. Do, uh...do I need to say anything else here? That lineup is insane, and it works pretty well! Stands out more than The Running Man did last week, and definitely brings you into the universe of the movies. Where The Running Man’s soundtrack was distilled ‘80s, this one is pure ‘90s. This one I would download on iTunes. However, it’s still not extremely memorable outside of the film, unfortunately. Better than The Running Man’s, though, I can say that.

Also, you wanna see something? Check this out.

Here’s the deal, as I see it. This movie is a complete mess. And, yeah, I gave it a 64%, which is higher than most critics would give it. But one, I’m not a critic; this is a fun hobby for me. And two...sue me. I had a good time with this movie! I laughed quite a bit throughout it, so the jokes really did work for me. Got a little annoying after a bit, but I still liked it. Would I watch this movie again? Absolutely...but probably with friends. This is definitely another good party movie. But then, it’s Arnold? Are you really surprised?

This movie, amongst EVERYTHING ELSE, sets itself up as a buddy cop movie. That’s actually a pretty common action-comedy formula, right? But I’ve seen most of the old classic buddy cop movies...so how about a new one?

January 7, 2021: The Nice Guys