#its so much easier to judge them when like. u can actually see their actions without getting affected by them and can re-refer to their past

[starry-toya]

i hate how difficult it is to form personal opinions about people and their actions in real life for me

[tornad001]

see i think about what ppl mean when they say "evil" and then i look at republicans talking about how children should go hungry cuz their parents need to work harder, and how queer ppl r all groomer pedos from the mouth of friend of epstein trump, and how oil billionaires should actually be able to set the planet on fire literally just for their bank accounts sake, and at restricting abortion while doing nothing to help ppl who wanna keep their kids, and the child marriage laws they defend, and all the other heinous shit they wanna do and openly talk about wanting to do. and i look at their motivations for doing it and its time and again power, control over others, and usually money. and i think when u look at all of that and then u think about how ppl use the term "evil" and if it can't be applied to them, then who can it be applied to?

now im a moral antirealist, i dont think right and wrong are set in stone in the universe, its an intersubjective game. theres nothing objectively wrong with ruining the world for profit, its only wrong cuz most everyone agrees its wrong and cuz it goes against my ungrounded and ungroundable basic axioms of freedom and equity, but its not objectively wrong cuz morality isnt a game of objectivity. so given that i don't actually believe that "good" and "evil" really exist, it becomes a shorthand that references that intersubjectivity. i don't call them evil ontologically, but descriptively. they weave evil into the world through their actions. and there's lots of times in which the motivations or inner psychology or whatever else matters when doing analysis. but there's also lots of times where it's sufficient to descriptively say "they're evil" cuz they're doing evil.

they can stop, evil isn't written into ur genetics, but as long as they continue to try their absolute hardest to make the world as worse a place for everybody as they can possibly manage, it will always be easier to call them evil. as i said, sometimes ur analysis calls for a little more nuance, but its pretty incredible how often you lose nothing by doing the informed simplicity.

so i ask u, if we can't call republicans evil, who can we? is it like... hitler and only hitler? or do u just not like the use of the word evil at all? which would be a fair position, albeit one that i don't respect. as long as ppl care about the terminology of good and evil, its a rhetorical tool to be used by those of us who don't actually buy the premise of the good vs evil dichotomy. if u think calling republicans evil is rhetorically ineffective, again, a fair position, but not one id agree with. i think its phenomenal for drawing into clarity the utter absurdity and anti-life basis of literally all conservative politics. (also i don't morally judge them for their evil cuz they were groomed into it, they're as much victims of the abuse as they are perpetuators of it)

tldr; i agree the concept of an "evil person" doesn't exist, but so long as we're in a paradigm of using the language of morality, im not gonna hamstring my rhetorical efficacy by not calling heinous shit evil. i don't think u gain anything politically by avoiding it, cuz the christian right isn't gonna stop calling us evil groomer pedos. also, to a very large degree, i don't care about political efficacy because what i write on tumblr is for me to express my feelings (sometimes that takes the form of hate towards evil things), and in my day to day life i don't talk to anyone, much less about politics, who isn't already mostly in agreement with me. there's many talented ppl out there who're great at reaching the other side, but that's not me and i don't try to be that. i like nuance when i think it's deserved or needed, but the republican party does not deserve my nuance in this respect. they're evil, and i'm not gonna stop saying it until it stops being tru

Some people’s political opinions can really just be boiled down to “can anybody tell me who the good guys and the bad guys are”

[stories-can-save-lives-right]

Reality Shift

Chapter 1: Hi, I'm "The End of the Cure"

This isn't supposed to summon Taylor Swift, but... Reputations.

I've always had that peculiar reputation of secretly sleeping in the corner while the teacher wasn't looking... I know. How original.

Haha, SIKE! I have no reputation! The teacher doesn't even know I exist! Even though I literally have my name written on the Students List...

And it doesn't stop there.

One time, I was sent to the principal's office for intruding their school. The same school I've been going to for years now.

AND I WAS IN MY DAMN UNIFORM.

Me? An intruder?? Seriously???

I've already written, like... SEVEN question marks in this stupid journal entry so far, and it STILL isn't enough to express the absolute confusion and betrayal I felt. I can still feel it like it was yesterday...

Oh, wait. It was yesterday.

As you can see, I have a problem. Or, uh... At least my school does.

Is it a curse? Probably.

Is there a cure? Ironically, the answer is no.

I said "ironically," because not having a cure for this stupid curse is literally the complete opposite of my family's name.

"Remedy."

"Finn Remedy."

I don't think I've met another person named Remedy yet, soooo... That makes me special now. Right?

...awkward silence...

Not special enough to be an actual person though, apparently. If I was even half as special as Lottie Winslow, I would've at least gotten a friend before high school began.

Heck, even the school loners have that one friend they can't get rid of even if they wanted to. What makes me any different from them, huh?

Tell me, world. Is there something wrong with your good ol' Finn? Because I can reassure you that—in many ways—I've been trying... Seriously. I have.

I wouldn't really say it's my best... I mean, even if it was, would that make much of a difference? Because let's be real, only the world decides whether your actions are actually your best or not. You can never be the judge of your own doings. No, sir.

I mean, look at me.

I know I exist. I know I'm real. For heaven’s sake, I pinch my wrist at least ten times a day just to make sure I'm actually there... And yet, no one else seems to know that.

Well. Except for my mom, I guess.

To cut the crap short, I'm not JUST lonely...

I'm actually alone.

...

A—AHEM! Sorry. Intrusive thoughts again.

But, u-uh... Wanna here something funny? I know what's funny—my existence! What else other than my existence? My name!

"Finn Remedy," am I right? That silly ol' prankster. That's me!

Yup.

...Gosh, that was the most terrible transition ever.

I don't even know why I'm acting like there's an audience. It's not like I'm hosting a comedy show and whatnot. If I was, I'd probably be rich! Rich with lot's of unhelpful criticism from the fans.

Saying stuff like, "Finn's a stupid name" or "Did you know 'Finn' means 'The End' in French? If that's the case, then 'Fin Remedy' would literally translate to 'The End of the Cure'!"

"Pathetic, right??"

"What could possibly be more ironic than a boy who is the anti-cure of his own life?"

...

He gently pokes his notebook with a pen.

Tap... tap... tap...

Well, if I think about it, no one would ACTUALLY be creative enough to say those exact words in front of my face.

Haha! What a relief... I would've balled my eyes out at that very moment and never face the light of day. Ever again!

Wait, uh-

I got off topic again. Sorry.

This was supposed to be a dream journal, to tell you the truth. But the thing is, I have no dreams. I barely get any sleep.

Which is why, again, I sleep in class. It just seems easier to do it when the teacher's busy babbling for some reason... You get me, right? I should probably stop doing that, though. It isn't helping anybody.

So, uh... How do I gain sleep? What am I suppose to do to win its heart again, huh?

Pfft. I'm making sleep sound like a grumpy girlfriend I didn't spend enough time with. Well, in a sense, it's kinda true...

Time check, it's 2:57 AM right now. School's gonna start in a few hours... I gotta sleep.

Oh, well. After a failed attempt of trying to make myself feel drowsy, I guess it's best to just settle with sleeping in class again. No one seems to care, anyway. So why should I?

Hm, night journal. Thanks for, uh... having paper. I guess.

Mwah.

Ew.

Probably shouldn't have done that.

Great. Now I've got a lip mark on my notebook. Gross...

...Night.

Finn slowly closes his dream journal—which is now relabeled as his personal diary—and places it at his bedside. He shuffles under the covers, his baggy eyes feeling heavier than they already were a second ago.

...Is this it? He wondered. Is this actually how his days will play out for the rest of his life?

Finn slowly exhales as his eyes begin to close, and he pretends to fall sleep.

Welp... If his mentality ever breaks one day, at least nobody else than his mom will be burdened by the thought of losing him.

After all.

You can't miss a person you barely know.

...Right?

[atomicdisappointment]

The Reckoning

Summary: You’re in the middle of a depressive episode, reaching a point where you’re unable to function properly, basically just sitting, isolated, in your room and feeling like sh*t. You haven’t contacted anyone in a few days, and Katsuki gets worried (relationship w/ him is ambiguous, could be a good acquaintance, could be a husband/partner back from a trip or something, idk, it’s up to you). 

A/N: This is kind of like a sequel to Ghosts and Tears, except it’s totally unrelated and in a different universe (unless u don’t want it to be... I don’t think there’s any conflicting information lmao). In this one, instead of you helping Bakugou through a panic attack, he comforts you during a depressive episode. This is pretty much just self-indulgent comfort character sh*t (sh*t being censored b/c there’s no swearing in the actual fic and I don’t want to have to add a swearing warning -_-). I needed this, and now you get it too! The title comes from that feeling when you’re not sure how someone is going to react to a piece of information. Here it’s the struggle with depression. It feels (to me) like once they find out there’s a reckoning, where everything’s on the line, waiting to see what they choose to do. Oh also:

second person, no pronouns or gender specific stuff mentioned anywhere =). 

Warnings: descriptions of a depressive episode, feelings of depression, dissociation, light paranoia, flinching when touched, neglect of needs, isolation... I think that’s it?

WC: 943

You're sitting with your head in your hands, palms covering your eyes and fingertips carded through your hair as sobs wrack your body. There are no tears, only a tight pain in your chest as you heave in shallow, strained breaths. You’re a mess, with spit covering your chin, surrounded by plates of half-eaten food. You couldn’t bring yourself to shower, could barely get yourself out of bed.

It wasn’t this bad before. A few days ago you were almost fine, if not a little tired. You just felt empty, and that feeling only got worse until this point. The culmination, you hope. Not sure how much more you can take.

You didn’t want him to see you like this, but what did you expect? You haven’t reached out to anyone in days, taking a break from work, even. Your friends were scared. He was scared. And now he’s here.

It starts with a soft knock on the door, followed by a gruff voice calling out your name into the silence. Your body curls further, as if trying to shrink into yourself. Maybe I can disappear. Maybe he’ll go away.

You, of course, don’t disappear. And he doesn’t go away. The knocking only gets louder, ringing in your head. You want to scream. The noise, the situation, only adds to your pain. You don’t want to see him. You want the silence back. You want to crawl back in bed, hold yourself, and fall asleep. Maybe this time, forever.

There’s a crash, and then it’s like your prayers were answered. There’s no more knocking, no more shouting voices. Only silence. Vaguely, you recognize that the problem isn’t solved. Katsuki isn’t gone, and from the crash you heard, it’s very likely he’s actually inside now. Closer to you, closer to the Reckoning. But it’s silent, and with your hands over your eyes it’s like you’re alone. Sitting in limbo, floating in emptiness.

But then you hear footsteps.

He pauses in the kitchen, you can almost imagine him looking at the sink full of unwashed dishes, the lights still on, the trash full. Maybe there’s a fine layer of dust over everything, now, after it’s been sitting for a few days. You could imagine him swiping a hand over the counter tops, looking at his fingers afterwards with disgust. Maybe concern?

But you don’t want to imagine it, only grateful for the silence his detour brings.

When they pick back up, the footsteps are faster, hurried towards your bedroom. You hear them only in the back of your mind, already adapting to block out the noise, create your own silence.

The gentle creaking of a door, and then a silence heavier than any before it. A silence filled with confusion, and shock. Probably also pity, and discomfort, you can’t help but think even though you’re only semi-conscious. Maybe now he’ll leave. We can both pretend this never happened.

When you feel his hand touch your back, right between your hunched shoulder blades, it shocks you. You almost jump, but it comes out as a flinch in your enervated state. You can almost hear the whoosh of air with how fast he pulls his hand back.

You hear your name, almost a whisper. It echoes around your skull.

You can feel his eyes as he judges the situation, weighing it in his hand as he decides a course of action. He could still walk away, uninvolve himself in this difficult situation. Could focus his attention on his damage to the front door and away from the situation lying on the bedroom floor in front of him. He could pop it back into its frame behind him as he goes back the way he came.

He could also get angry. He’s always been known for having a temper, and you haven’t contacted him in days, only for him to find you selfishly neglecting everything around you, from your relationships to your apartment to your own health. It’s enough to make anyone angry.

But you’re surprised when you feel warm fingers gently wrapping around your wrists, guiding your hands away from your face. It’s so delicate and patient, you begin to wonder if it’s even him in the room with you.

You slowly open your eyes, blinking away the film covering them to reveal Katsuki. He’s crouched in front of you, his deep red eyes boring into yours while his hands still hold your arms in front of you. He looks… worried. Nit pitying or angry or uncomfortable like you expected. Just concerned. The look warms your chest slightly, and you feel your breath come a little easier.

His palms are so soft, and you can’t help but relax into his grip. As you do, he sets your hands down and moves his own to cup your face. They’re so big, wrapping around your cheeks and under your jaw, his fingertips running through your hair while his pinky rests across the tops of your ears. It’s so… tender. The action and the emotions it conveys are equal parts surprising and soothing. You feel like you’re melting into his touch, sinking into the soft, pillowy skin.

But even with this unexpected support, you still feel exhausted. Drained. Your eyelids are heavy and your limbs droopy. You feel yourself sinking into unconsciousness, barely registering the movement as Katsuki rests your head against his chest, still cradling it in his arms. His warmth, the security his touch brings, the steady beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his breaths. It all only serves to further lull you to sleep, pushing you into your first deep, comfortable rest in days.

[effymefy]

every night i feel so lonely. whenever someone need i’ll be there no matter what the time is, but when i feel down, sad and lonely and i need someone to talk to theres nobody as fast as i am to reply. it does feel lonely and sad sometimes. whats the point of being “well known” and have lot of friends when non of them are there for me when i feel like im at the lowest. im lying to myself. i force myself to be okay. im actually not okay. im actually in pain deep inside my heart making the scars of my own. i shouldnt have care anymore. i dont miss her but it hurts so much to know ive been replaced so damn fucking fast. its been like what ? 4 weeks and she already have someone new as her SO ? im that worthless that im not worth to move on from ? im not suck as a partner that my love just being replaced like that ? when u said no i would be single cause u got tired and cant commit and yet u accept some guy and what worst is its someone u called and say bestfriend to my face. reason is u accept cause he didnt give up having feelings for u for 4 years? u literally make him as your rebound cause deep inside u know u cant be alone . but i shouldt have feel bitter about it cause probably thats what your coping mechanism are like. u hide your stories from me cause u aint ready telling me yet but i knew about it already. whats the point of u hiding it again from me when i sitll knew ? hiding things make it worst honestly and u never learn from your mistakes and keep making it again. u sure are not that matured enough to deal with this kind of situation. i might be over reacting but know my place of feeling shit that ive easily replaced just like that. should have listen to my head and my mom. fyi mom never like u anyway cause she can feel u aint right for me and here your actions speaks louder. so kids, trust your mom instinct and advice cause believe me its going to come true. oh everytime i had a nightmare something bad gonna happen. it did happen. twice. sucks right ? waiting for the day of your pain might come cause u knew that worst will come based on the hint given in your dream. God really love me that He show me signs. i have to let things go but its really hard for me to forgive your mistakes hiding things from me. u know them well how my past happened and u did those shit anyway. fuck u for that. anyway i saw your new picture with him and u look happy. eventho youre with him but deep inside i feel calm looking at you seeing u look happy. eventho its not me who make you feeling that way. reason why i ended the relationship/friendship we had cause i know things gonna become toxic and i cant deal with it professionally. its better we become stranger where its easier for me to forget about u and not care about your shit anymore. hope this rant helps me with what i wanna say in my heart and in my mind. this is the only safe place without people knowing my stories and judging me. the only place i can write and vent things out. fuck this is so sad. im the most happiest and happy go lucky person and people destroy me. screw u shitt. night

[subjectsix]

You've got any personality/relationship headcanons for the lads: Dylan, Arish, Langston and Ahti? Like how they interact with people or each other? (Sorry if this was confusing ask!)

ah, yes!! thank you for asking ;o; figuring out people’s general dynamics are some of my fave things tbh

this got very long so I’ll stick it under a readmore kjsdhfkjsdhf

Some Control Character Dynamics/Headcanons

Arish

- extremely calming/feel good vibes. i feel like hanging out with arish is enough to make your whole day, you know?

- strikes me as the type to always be available to talk to if you need anything, and is a pretty good judge of what you need (if you just wanna sit in silence together, need a listening ear, need to discuss something, or want a distraction)

- problem: tends to ignore his own issues and bad at asking help with them, will pretend everything’s fine if someone asks

- somehow equal parts very smooth and very dorky?

- not a fan of drama and gossip because its too much of a headache but ALSO he wants to know literally everything that’s going on, you know? like. he doesn’t want to cause drama or be involved but he loves knowing what’s going on. Totally Just For Security Reasons.

- if you’re close to him (and he knows you’re okay with it) his main love language is teasing people aksdjfhskjdfh just like, giving you friendly crap. it was especially like this with the old ranger squad

- lies very well in games (and probably cheats at cards) but CANNOT lie to friends. just like, entirely incapable of that. wouldn’t want to do that anyway. if you can tell he’s not having a good day and ask him about it outright he will not be able to hide it anymore

- generally just super nice and sweet to everyone-- even if he doesn’t super know or like someone he’s still super kind (unless you’re like, purposefully a jerk). at the same time he doesn’t see himself as any kind of like, a big deal or anything? like. he’s way more interested in other people and is surprised when people take an interest in him

- mom friend. have you eaten today? did u drink water? does everyone have an uber home? etc.

- one of the first people to befriend Dylan. they get along like a house on fire.

Dylan

- extremely defensive/snarky toward new people. especially bureau employees. sometimes on purpose, sometimes just because it’s learned behavior.

- is actually a very soft and sensitive person, he’s just built up many walls and defensives over the years to try and protect himself. some of his defensive measures have basically become offense at this point

- not always a great judge about what’s too far in terms of mean/rude things and sarcasm. not great at handling it when he does go to far, usually just panics and leaves

- also not great at saying what he means directly when it comes to emotions. will instead try and show you through his actions or gifts. pretty used to hiding his emotions bc he didnt want them known when he was a prisoner but now he’s adjusting and getting used to it again.

- however, VERY blunt person when he wants to be. it’s a coin flip whether you’ll get a very cryptic answer from him or an absolutely direct answer with zero sugar coating. if he doesnt like you he will make it clear.

- that said, he really wants (and needs) some friends, and the friends he does have he is super protective of.

- touch starved. melts into hugs from his close friends. learning how to ask for them more bc he loves them and needs them (also they’re easier than words)

- if u snark with him he’ll take a tentative liking to you. he appreciates it when people just like. treat him like a person (the bar is so low). like, instead of being scared of him, being on the offense towards him, or trying to overcompensate and act like youre walking on eggshells, just. treat him like another average dude. he appreciates that a lot.

- also if you’re nice to him it will confuse him, but in a good way. he’s gonna think about it for weeks. once he realizes you’re genuinely just. being nice to him and have no other motive he will carefully let his walls down just a little. just a little bit.

- will give his friends random gifts, but they’re always very... him? expect to receive random snacks and rocks from him with little fanfare or explanation (but a lot of love)

- also likes sitting close to friends so that their arms touch when hes in the mood for it (again, touch starved)

- he’s just so weird. just says whatever comes to mind. weird 10 year old kid energy but now he’s 27 and has all the extra added bonus of his experience in the bureau and the hiss. absolutely adore him for it. he deserves to be cryptic and chaotic.

- very close with arish. doesnt see ahti often but likes him a lot. likes to tease langston-- jury is out about whether that’s genuine friendship or just dylan being a twit.

Langston

- this man is extremely sweet but he is equal parts brutally honest and Very Long Rambler; he loves to info dump, please let him aksjdhfkjsdhf

- very passionate about many things!!! loves to share his opinions but likes to hear other people’s points of view as well

- sometimes when he catches himself rambling he will apologize and back pedal out of that

- really scatterbrained, usually because he gets extremely invested in one topic in his head, and other things just slip his mind. that said, he’s very thorough and thinks things through very carefully and will often think of an approach or angle nobody else did

- besides being into poetry and music, he’s a very big reader and loves discussing books with people and getting new recommendations. if you tell him about a book he’ll probably buy it, read it, and tell you what he thought about it within a day or two.

- makes jokes when he’s nervous, constantly

- is equal parts confident and not at all? he knows his own strengths and he’s solid in them and plays to them a lot

- talks to himself a lot. used to write notes on his hand as reminders but then he’d smudge ink all over things and himself on accident so he carries a pocketbook with him now for that. has a really good understanding of the House and seems to always know where he’s going, even if there’s been a house shift.

- gets along really well with arish even tho they don’t see each other often! really appreciates him. also doesn’t see ahti much, but ahti likes him.

Ahti

- everyone’s favorite grandpa/janitor/uncle/coworker

- sometimes will just call people over to talk to them. sometimes, even if he doesn’t seem to be making much sense, you’ll understand exactly what he means

- is absolutely a jokester. very smug about it. will pull harmless pranks or jokes on people sometimes. most people don’t even realize it’s him.

- likes to eavesdrop on people. none of it is malicious! but gosh dang is it easy to overhear gossip when you have on headphones, do janitor work, and most people forget you’re there

- just seems to Know people-- talking to him always feels very revealing, but in a good way. in the same way though, talking to him can be very confusing, because he tends to just speak his mind

- if you come sit with him when he’s at lunch he will tell you stories!!!

- if you’re a slacker or rude he might scold you for it. he doesnt tolerate stuff like that.

- will also just talk to you even if you have no idea what’s going on? like he might rant and complain about the clog, or northmoor, or anything, peppered with random knowledge and finnish and english in equal parts, and it might not make any sense, he’s just happy to have someone to talk to.

- always happy when people care for the plants in the house

- appreciates all three of these guys, a lot, for various reasons

not confusing at all, anon!!! thank you again!!! ;u;

[hobiiwan]

the five times you catch him staring;

the one you do something about it

⇒ pairing: the mandalorian x reader

⇒ summary: the five times you catch him staring and the one time you do something about it ( 2/6 )

⇒ warnings: none? baby yoda doesn’t count at this point

⇒ notes: it’s exam season. guess who’s going thru it? me

part one part three

the second time you notice him staring, you can’t help but hate him a little

punches are thrown; perhaps you’re a little beat up

the mandalorian’s got you pinned down with your head pressed into the grimy floor

you grimace under your mask

no amount of cleaning will get the stench of that mystery liquid off your armour anytime soon

“at least take me to dinner first,” you mutter under your breath

he hears you, of course

you ignore the snort let out from his moderator; you’re too busy assessing the situation

if you head-butt him hard enough, you could probably run for it

but you really wanna know why there’s a bounty out on you

danG it reader this is a matteR of LIFE OR DEATH

you stop struggling, figuring you’d have a better chance of getting away while you’re on your feet, getting hauled to his ship

than with the weight of his body anD fancy beskar armour

turns out reader, you were wrong

it’s much, much harder to book it when the entire market parts like the red sea at the sight of the mandalorian

there’s nowhere to hide, and definitely no chance to run with the iron grip on your forearm and the cuffs he had so graciously slapped on your wrists

that’s how you end up on his ship

a hunk of jUnk if you dare say so yourself

he’s in the cockpit and you’re on the floor behind him

glaring a hole into the back of his helmet

there are a few fishy things about the situation, you notice

exhibit a: he has yet to freeze you in carbonite

it’s basically a ritual for bounty hunters; it makes the transaction easier when there’s less begging involved

exhibit b: he lets you sit behind him with nO supervision (that you know of)

a giant red flag– bounty hunters alwaYs keep an eye on their asset

exhibit c: you’re pretty sure the cuffs aren’t even on

you know it’s not accidental

he’s a mandalorian, for crying out loud

therefoRe, you come to the conclusion that either this is the world’s worst bounty hunter (boy are you wrong)

oR there’s something that you’re missing

you’re about to ask when he brings the ship into hyperspace and stands straight above you

he doesn’t speak

for a long time

almost uncomfortably long

like he’s having a conversation with himself in his head

all he does is stare straight at you with that damned soulless helmet

it’s mildly infuriating

is there something on your face? is it your hair???

reader, you have a helmet; you’re finE

so what do you do?

staRe back of course

it’s the only reasonable course of action

you decide you hate him just a little

your forearm still aches from where he practically dragged you onto his ship

if it’s bruised, ur suing

fed up, you finally ask,

“so are you going to talk or am i supposed to just know what you want from me?”

you hold your breath, hoping he doesn’t snap back into action and decide to actually freeze you

the mandalorian clears his throat and quickly brings out a hologram of another man

“what do you know about this man?”

the hologram is of your most despised client you’ve ever served

honestly, you’re not even surprised he’s the one that set the bounty

he was one shady twerp

“what about him?” you counter

he’S not the only one with questions

are you being a little difficult? yes

are you skating on thin ice here? yes again

do you enjoy ticking off a mandalorian? a little too much

you should probably co-operate, though that wouldn’t be very cash-money of you

“i won’t ask again.” the mandalorian sighs, gloved fingers pulling out the puck assigned to you

yuP that’s your face alright

with a defeated puff of breath, you relent

“i may or may not have messed up on one of his assignments, a while ago.”

you can easily tell he isn’t satisfied with your answer

you can’t even see his expression, but you know he’s deadpanning you

“what do you want me to say?” you huff, “he wanted me to bring in a chiLd. i’m a bounty hunter, not a monster,”

“so maybE I hid the tiny thing; sue me.”

when the mandalorian stills, so do you

you curse yourself for saying too much; you’re in for it now

but theN

by the will of the maker and all the gods of the distant universes

you hear a baby’s babble

both you and the mandalorian’s attention snaps to the source of the sound—the tiny bundle waddling into the cockpit

“you mean this tiny thing?”

“baby!!!” your eyes light up at the sight of those big, all-seeing, all-knowing, sparkly eyes

you cannoT believe the asset you risked your entire career and life for is right here on this uterus-looking junk ship with you

it was so worth it

those days you spent with the child after you made the wracking decision to not turn in the bounty were the most fun you’d had in a while

it had a surprising way of keeping you entertained

the baby grew on you okay

you’re supposed to be a scary bounty hunter, held hostage on another scary bounty hunter’s rubbish ship

and yet here you are, cradling a child in between your cuffed arms without a care in the world

priorities, amirite reader

the bigger, scarier bounty hunter clears his throat expectantly

which brings you back to your current situation

what a buzzkill

“don’t tell me you’re giving him up, because i will fight you.” you threaten, arms tightening around the child protectively, who cooes in response and wraps its fingers around a lock of your hair

who does this mando think he is??? handing over a baby for money????

“i’m not,” the man sighs, “that’s why you’re not frozen in carbonite yet, genius.”

you blink; once, then twice

oH

“then what do you want from me? i don’t need your protection, mandalorian.” you prod, waving your cuffs in the air

“sure you don’t, but that’s not the point.”

exCUSE YOU, MANDALORIAN

you scoff, but he cuts you off before you get to protest

“he needs yours,” the bounty hunter states, “judging on how you’re both running from the same client.”

your head tilts as you ponder over what he says

mando thinks the action makes you look like a puppy

but u didn’t hear it from mE

“so what you’re saying is,” you begin, slowly, “you’re offering to be my partner.”

the waY HE CHOKES

“that is noT what I said.”

you shake your head, “yeah, you know, all i’m hearing is ‘will you co-parent this space child’,

“to which I humbly accept.”

now it’s mando’s turn to blank

what just happened

what did he juST WALK INTO

did you just somehow invite yourself to be his partner???

uM

“i don’t know about you, but if this whole space-mom-and-dad thing is gonna work, i’m gonna need my hands.”

he groans, running a gloved hand over his helmet

he can’t believe he’s agreeing to this, but with the luck he’s had, he’s going to need all the help he can get with the Child

he can only pray you’re better with kids than he is

finally, he gives in

with a a defeated sigh, he swivels away from you on his pilot seat

“just take them off. you already know they weren’t activated.”

you grin, revelling in the feeling of liberated wrists

“cheer up, mando. this is going to be fun.”

[babysizedfics]

ok i have two (2) asks and i will send them separately but number one (1) do u think roman uses humor to cope with things when big because like. i relate to roman too much in general but also i really really relate to ur roman in this and i do that way too much because its easier so i was just wondering if that was a thing he did? and if it were to be a thing he did how do u think the others would react? like im self deprecating but is roman? idk sorry rambling 🐝

this turned into a long post exploring romans characterisation so thank u bee anon!!

i think Roman uses humour sometimes but mainly i think its can just be described as acting out? like acting proud and big

i keep saying when roman feels small he acts big and that has nothing to do with being little - when roman feels inadequate and embarrassed and sorrowful (small) he acts loud and proud and confident (big) and stands taller and puffs out his chest - this doesnt mean everytime he is proud he's hiding insecurities, he does it when hes actually happy too. its just like he's trying to force happy on himself by acting like this when hes sad

i think the times he makes jokes are more when he feels awkward. i said before when theyre big and roman wants to support virgil he holds his hand, but he blurts something random or makes a loud joke as he does it to try to distract from the action because its obviously a vulnerable move and he doesnt want anyone to dwell on that

i really don't think my roman is very self deprecating, he acts very proud but most of that is real, he really is pretty full of himself. and he actually has never talked down about himself, he feels bad when hes frightened and he can sometimes think hes stupid but its not that intense and he never voices these things and definitely never makes jokes abt them

he just hates feeling anything less than regal and strong so if he feels scared he feels weak and he pretends to be bigger and more confident because he hopes it will chase away the inadequate feelings, and it does help him a little bit - sure he needs to talk through these feeings to work through them but actually standing taller and being extra big brotherly and protective of vee to distract from his bad feelings does make him feel better in himself and reminds him that even if he feels sad and not very glittery he's still the same brave prince roman

its actually a pretty healthy thing for him i think, since he does talk about his feelings if theyre really bothering him - take chapter 5 of LABD where he sighs dramatically and virgil asks what wrong and roman immediately rants about how he wants to do a valiant act for vee. or in chapter 8 where patton asks him whats wrong and again he sighs dramatically then immediately admits that he's scared the family will split up. he might act out to try not to look weak and sad but he doesnt actually hide his feelings

also it makes him feel safer to know that the others still see him as strong and brave even when he feels down and small

the others do all notice, romans not exactly subtle.

big virgil tends to scoff and fondly calls roman a dumbass or a sap and accepts his hand holds or suggests they do something fun if roman clearly needs a distraction - it's also to make sure roman isnt around logan when he's like this (i'll talk more abt that in a bit)

and baby vee doesnt really notice he just likes that his big brother is babying him more and will subconsciously latch onto him at these times (i think without knowin, vee actually picks up on the fact that roman needs to baby vee to feel better and vee gives him all his attention)

patton thinks its kind of cute that roman preens like a peacock and gets more flamboyant and loud and confident, though he also makes sure to give ro a lot of attention since he clearly needs it - he tends to big roman up like if he's little he'll say things like 'you're such a brave little prince' 'what a big boy you are' 'you're a really great role model for your baby brother roman!' - he highlights the fact that roman is the bigger older brother because that makes little roman feel proud and happy

logan is the one who doesnt take too fondly to it tbh - he doesn't hate it, and he would never ever judge someone for their coping mechanism, but the two tend to clash most when roman acts more cocky (don't tell them but it's because theyre both full of themselves and neither likes to feel threatened by someone else acting more important)

logan also doesnt have much of a filter and will outright state that roman is clearly acting out due to feelings of inadequacy, and that only makes roman lash out with nicknames and mocking logan because sure he loves attention almost always, but when the attention is on how he is messing up he cant stand it - this tends to result in arguments between lo and ro

virgil hates it whenever anyone argues - including himself, he gets shaky from fear of confrontation - it sets of his anxiety and he will actively keep logan and roman away from each other if he notices roman is overcompensating with his ego and pride. he is of course hypervigilant and clocks onto romans weird moods pretty quickly and either gets roman to hang out with him or, if roman is busy or doesnt feel like it, he'll keep logan preoccupied

roman and logans relationship is an interesting one, it's very turbulent. little roman looks up to mom logan a LOT and is a little bit intimidated by him because he thinks his mom is really cool and clever. he can sometimes feel almost scared of logan, though not a lot, just in the sense that he knows logan has a lot of say in what is good for vee's regression and he's scared one day logan will decide roman is one of the things that is not good for vee and will split them up (this is a recurring fear of roman's that's consistent throughout all of the fics: he's scared he will lose his brother - because he already experienced that once)

and when roman forst became a little, logan was actually a bit confused and sceptical, he didn't know that you could be a little without mentally regressing and couldnt figure out why roman did it. it obviously gets resolved before LABD since he treats roman like a kid then, but their relationship is still a little bumpy. they really get into their roles and love playing together and logan does treat the boys as equally 'real' littles, roman still gets bedtime and affection and rules and stuff, but sometimes the facade breaks a little and they both remember that theyre still just adults, theyre still logan and roman who otherwise would never act like this together.

theres a moment in LABD chapter 8 where logan is tickling roman, its very joyful and cute, then a bit later theyve stopped, ro is on his moms lap and vee says he wants to play with roman. roman is reluctant and strokes his fingers along logans arm which is hugging him - he doesnt want to give up this special time with mom because mom is almost never this physically affectionate with him. but logan immediately gets roman off his lap and leaves and its because he suddenly realised 'oh this isnt a child, this is roman, adult roman who is very aware of the fact that i just tickled him and pulled him into my lap'

so logan gets self conscious that adult roman is fully aware of how different and affectionate logan acts as mama logan.

anyway yeah i REALLY went off track im sorry 😳😳

[gg-astrology]

Can you do Kai ideal type post? I've recently got into exo after this dating thing and I have the biggest crushes on Kai and chanyeol

Hey there! 💕 Aaaah I haven’t even done his outline yet!! I hope you don’t mind if we take some time to talk about them (individually) first?? 💕💕I usually can’t go straight into ‘ideal’  placements until I look at their charts ksdjnfksn so this makes sense to me ;; 💕💕 (and also Im glad u got into them after the dating thing!! 💕 They’ll need support now more than ever!! 💕💕 Im happy for u AND them!! 💕💕)

[Below Cut: Brief Outlook for Kim Jongin (Kai) and Park Chanyeol ]

Note: Since this is an ‘outlook’ this is just my first impression, some things can be flushed out but we’ll save those for an actual ‘overview’! 

I’m going to start with Jongin first before we go into Chanyeol ok?

For those who are curious he’s a Capricorn Sun | Aquarius Moon + Mercury (0′) | Capricorn Venus + Mars  | Aries Lilith + Chiron | Virgo Chiron |  Scorpio Juno 

Phew, having so many placement in Capricorn and Aquarius makes it easier for me since they can be conjunctions to each other (and he has plenty!)

First of all— With Capricorn/Aquarius there’s a lot of stubbornness, but also argumentative energy there. High moral and collective consciousness, often someone who isn’t afraid to counter-back at others (regardless of age/difference) if they think they are ‘close-minded’ or ‘hurting’ others (they protecctive)

These people learn from experience, or ‘exposure’ to such things. Aquarius Moon makes the person likes to explore many different culture/types of people to keep themselves being ‘open-minded’— they like to have the bigger perspective first, before they make a direction on something

They also have great intuition like ‘this isn’t right’ – usually it has to do with moral/ethical stuff, it’s like they can ‘feel’ if other people are going to be hurt by it. These people are incredibly in-tuned to the others/collective and thus– they can be great representative in the world (like a spokesperson/ambassador for something humanitarian is great for them)

This humanitarian aspect is especially prominent especially since he has his Sun-Venus/Sun-Mercury conjunct to each other. 

This makes for a person who is in control of himself (his Mercury/Venus is before his Sun – going by the angles for the unknown time anyways*can be inaccurate, his Venus/Mercury may be ‘Burned’ and therefore– his Mind/Heart are usually put forward in an objective way in order to manifest his ‘Sun’)

He may however, have a hard time expressing his emotions/affection in a way that’s truly heart-felt and sincere (the kind of ‘feeling’ emotions and not ones he’s already familiar with) – with Capricorn/Aquarius people, they often ‘get better’ at expressing their emotions more openly as they ‘familiarize’ themselves with the intimacy/how they should express it outward.

*Doesn’t mean it’s not honest when they do, it’s just that they’d like to have control and time to prepare. So it’s like, he can get easily embarrassed when he’s not used to heart-felt intimacy/something from the heart of others. He can listen sincerely, but giving back (feed back) is a lil bit awkward and hard if it’s not automated/he hasn’t had time to prepare. 

I hope this makes sense? Like having Capricorn/Aquarius doesn’t make you ‘detached’ or ‘controlling’ or all that hard ish, it just means they’re a lil bit more cautious and may need more time/stability before they engage/function.

Another thing that points to him being a lil more proactive is definitely his Capricorn Mars and aspects to it (conjunct Sun/Venus/Uranus/Neptune) — this talks about his tolerance, patience and stability. Especially with Moon-conjunct-Saturn, he may have more maturity for his age (emotionally) and be more ‘in-control’ than others around him

It’s just– interesting with Jongin because he has so many personal aspects with Uranus/Neptune (Sun/Mercury/Venus/Mars/Pluto) which points to an imaginative, creative and ‘under-dog’ type of character. 

Like he stands up for people, can’t control his mouth about it but also has social grace, the vitality (genuinity) and do things for charity. His mind, mouth, heart and body aligns with make changes for people. It’s largely a part of his driving force. 

**Given that it may be pretty common for people who are born during his birthday period to have conjunctions like this too (since Uranus/Neptune moves suuuuper slowly)– it’s just interesting to see it in an idol’s chart so prominently. Like how they function/their main driving force y know? 

It also it makes his Moon stuff a lil more prominent. Jongin has his Moon-square-Pluto (as well as Saturn squaring his Pluto) – making him resistance to change, stubborn/confrontational if he’s not careful, a lil more narrow-hearted than he realized he is. Often these people can lead themselves to close themselves off from others even when they acknowledge that the change is necessary and good for them. A lil huffy. 

And with Saturn-square-Pluto, anything that is seen as ‘threatening’ his stability/foundation (sometimes his narrow-mindedness/egoistic part sometimes) –he can close himself off from it. This is like– not a very good ‘stubbornness’ for him since it makes him take less chances/open-up to others. It can make him ‘selective’ or ‘hypocritical’ when he tries to help others, because he won’t accept help/constructive criticism back on his belief/methods sometimes. 

Most of his chart is in sextile or conjunction, which bode for someone who may have a lil problem ‘breaking out’ of themselves or breaking away from themselves a lil. 

With Capricorn/Aquarius it has to do with point of view, a lil more about perspective and changing habits (bc of their strong moral principality/belief in themselves). 

Since these people can be very traditional despite also being unconventional. They may – unnecessarily impose their ideas/views or judge others because they may feel uncomfortable around more ‘flexible’ changes around them. It’ll take time, and open-minded-ness from others to make their ‘pessimist’ into a lil more optimistic attitude.

And then we have Park Chanyeol! 

With Chanyeol, we have a Sagittarius Sun | Capricorn moon | Scorpio Mercury rx | Capricorn Venus and Cancer Mars | Pisces Lilith | Leo Chiron | Aquarius Ceres | Cancer Juno 

First of all Chanyeol— has his Sagittarius Sun sextile Libra Jupiter. 

Jupiter makes everything big, and in aspect to his Sun it makes his personality/core-self big as well. He has a big heart, a big love/thirst for learning for travelling for experience. Sagittarius Sun likes the Libra’s analytical nature, likes it’s diplomacy and fairness. This becomes an integral part of his personality and although he may seem joking/jokester– he’s actually a rather fair and mediating presence within the team. 

HIs Moon/Venus however is square to Jupiter (Capricorn-Libra) – thus, sometimes he may overspill his emotions into his relationships with others. Overshare or disregard other people’s perspective/point of view when he’s ‘too much’ into his own problems (can be dismissive, caring one moment uncaring the next)

But this is generally appeased by his Moon/Venus conjunct— loves people, but may have a harder time showing it unless he’s going about it ‘officially’ (like courting them, step by step) 

He can sometimes be shy– as most Capricorn Venus people are, his own emotions may be oblivious to him. Often ‘knowing’ isn’t the same as ‘feeling’ what emotions are. And his Cancer Mars only makes him aware of it when it’s built up, when it’s been there for a while which is why he makes ‘emotional releases’ from it (has to learn a lil more self-control maybe to work with this Capricorn) 

His Mercury/Venus is conjunct to his Uranus/Neptune – making for someone who is intuitively creative, day-dreams, can pull his thoughts into vision and is good at talking/thinking -> applying it to real life (physicality – Mercury-trine-Mars) and sharing his product with others (Venus- social relationships, so music that touches others or has ‘feedback’ in them is crucial to him especially since he’d want recognition/admiration for it)

He thrives with challenges, especially one to do with blockage of the mind. To him, mental blockage are better because he can confront/work through it and ‘get’ what he needs from it (transform himself mentally) Mercury-Pluto conjunct and then Mars-trine-Pluto – making him thrive when its time to take action

In a way with Chanyeol— he may be more prepared for hardship/challenges than good thing to him to him. His conjunct/aspects to Pluto makes for a personality that does best/feels most alive when they are progressing, when they are moving forward in life (Scorpio Mercury/Capricorn Venus - aspects to Pluto) rather than be ‘stuck’ and stagnant analyzing their own self.

This is why even though he has a ‘big’ personality because of the Sun-Jupiter graces, he may often have a humble view of Jupiter. He doesn’t rely on it’s graces to shower on him all the time, for everyone to understand his Moon/Venus (the inner parts of him)– thus, he may focus more on manifestation of his work, to prove himself instead (Mars aspect) 

Anyways this is my short brief take on it! 💕💕💕

Thanks for being interested and sending the ask in!! ;; 💕💕 I hope this is just as good as an ‘ideal type’ skdjnfksdjn 💕

[nightfayre]

hi im the anon ! i dont remember what i said >

and I’m alarmed by the fandom mentality. Maybe HT means good - but how would we know? we don’t have access to his thoughts - but we must judge his actions, and his actions are for the least very troubling. It’s always abt coercing Mo and not respecting his boundaries. I see the trope “when she says no, she means yes” here and once again, the fact the fandom swallows it uncritically (bc HT is a poor, hot tortured boy) is alarming. Forcing Mo to wear his gift stinks of “this is my possession, don’t mess wt him” 2/5

Maybe im pessimistic n its actually to protect him by distance, but once again he totally disregards Mo’s will. What if he doesnt want to be protected ? what if he doesnt want to be an object to be pass around between self-entitled psychos ? The first step to protect and help someone is by listening to them. I hope Mo will react strongly and will tell HT that by saying this, he’s no different from She Li. And i hope that would provoke HT to self-reflect a lot - smth he lacks tremendously. 3/5

That being said i love HT and tianshan! And what i love is how realistic and flawed they are. Theyre both hyper violent, distrustful, and severly lacking in communication skills. Im thrilled to see how theyre going to evolve -for the better or the worse, both is good for me. But i’m very disappointed by the fandom reaction like “ooh how cute hes possessive it means love!” or “actually its not bad doing HT doing that bc his intentions are good”. 4/5

And I will be vry, vry disappointed if OX decides to follow this trend and to not show how this kind of actions is detrimental to their reliationship and use the tired and dangerous trope of “being violent means that you care”. I trust them to be more nuanced than that bc until now they are great at drawing grey relationship. So yea i hope next chapter, tianshan plunges (before being better). Anw sry for the rant, and plz continue the good work !! 5/5

phew. there’s a lot to unpack here – but I agree wholeheartedly with you. since this post is already kinda long, I will put my answer/explanation under the cut!

the parts that I bolded in your asks are what I intend to focus on in this answer. strap in, because this is going to be a long one. 

before anything, let me put a disclaimer: I love He Tian. I love Guan Shan. I love Old Xian. I love tianshan, and I love where they are headed in the manhua. does that mean I also love where tianshan are right now? no, it doesn’t. and I’m here to explain why I look forward to their potential rather than their current relationship’s dynamics.  

one of the hardest parts about being in a fandom is being able to separate fiction, reality, and morality. this is especially hard when a fandom is as old and endearing as 19 Days, and when you fall in love with & are rooting for all the characters. furthermore, 19 Days is not a tragedy. of course, when Jian Yi disappears, it will be tragic. but otherwise the majority of the manhua is a comical, romantic slice-of-life plot. as such, it’s easier for what would usually be seen as blaring issues/problems in tragedies to be disregarded for comedy or, in some cases, romance in a comedic, romantic slice-of-life. 

this is exactly the case with tianshan. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: He Tian’s current relationship with Guan Shan is not healthy. he doesn’t listen to Guan Shan. he doesn’t respect his personal space. he doesn’t know where to draw the line. he doesn’t know how to properly communicate with him, and thus resorts to violence or threats. tianshan just have a problem with communication. and, sure, maybe it can be chalked up to the fact that they’re young and stressed and don’t know any better. but that excuse is almost as bad as the “boys will be boys” excuse, and that doesn’t make it any better nor does it justify their actions. 

He Tian’s idea of relationships is so twisted, and as I talked about in a previous answer, it can probably be stemmed back to his trauma with the puppy Cheng took away from him. I won’t get too deep into that since I explained it in detail in that answer, but keep this in mind nonetheless: He Tian grew up in a family of violence, distance, miscommunication, and lies. it’s all he’s ever known, and that’s what he’s applying to his relationship with Guan Shan. does that make it right? no, absolutely not. but he’s learning. 

when Guan Shan had a panic attack at the restaurant, He Tian learned that people aren’t robots/pawns to use at his disposal and rather have their own strong emotions/backgrounds that shape them. thus, he brought Guan Shan home without a word. when he had his night terror and woke up to Guan Shan holding his hands, He Tian realized that there are parts of Guan Shan he still doesn’t know and, potentially, an aspect of their relationship that they’ve only started to uncover. thus, he thanked him without preamble and with a bowed head. 

what I’m trying to say is that He Tian does have good intentions at times, but not always. he’s learning as he goes, because god knows he didn’t have a family to teach him how healthy relationships should be. there probably is a part of He Tian that only wants to protect Guan Shan against She Li, but he certainly doesn’t show it in the right way. he acts possessive because he knows that if he doesn’t, he’ll lose what he loves (*insert flashback to the puppy*). again, does that make it right? hell no. jealousy and possessiveness are not cute and are entirely unhealthy in a relationship. the fandom should view them as such, but should also keep an open mind when considering He Tian’s background. 

and honestly, the reason why I’m focusing so much on He Tian right now rather than Guan Shan is because if it were up to Guan Shan, he would’ve dropped He Tian within the first few days (maybe even hours) of meeting him. but because of He Tian’s persistence, Guan Shan has no choice but to be involved with him and retaliate when He Tian verbally/physically/emotionally attacks him. nonetheless, Guan Shan has tried to walk away from He Tian on multiple occasions when He Tian’s teasing became too much, and on those occasions, He Tian has given in. (ex. I can’t find the exact chapter, but there is a chapter in which Guan Shan refuses to use He Tian’s fork to eat He Tian’s leftovers, and he gets up and says, “I’m going home,” to which He Tian replies, “Fine, fine, I’ll buy you new food.”)

so yes – tianshan certainly have flaws. He Tian holds too much power, and Guan Shan can’t catch a break. the fandom romanticizes their interactions, but if you take a moment to think realistically and recognize that character flaws are essentially bad but also critical for character development, then there is an even balance in the readers’ relationship with the manhua. don’t support He Tian’s violent interactions with Guan Shan and claim “omg He Tian loves Guan Shan sooooo much when he forces Guan Shan to do XYZ,” but rather support the fact that he hasn’t physically manhandled/harmed Guan Shan in many chapters. support and celebrate He Tian’s development, not his flaws. 

and as for what you said about Guan Shan telling He Tian that he’s “no better than She Li”? while I don’t think He Tian is truly as bad as She Li, I actually think that would be a painful, great, and pivotal moment in their relationship. after all, the most consequential scene in tianshan’s relationship thus far has been the kiss. at that moment, Guan Shan had told He Tian outright that he disgusted him and to leave him alone. since then, I don’t think He Tian has ever looked so… taken aback. unsettled. 

and guess what? their relationship has only gotten better since then, and He Tian hasn’t touched him like that again. 

I don’t know, anon. it’s a tough call. I think tianshan have a lot more chapters ahead of them, and I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on bad terms. actually, I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on the terms that they’re on right now. they can only improve from here on out, but how Old Xian will go about showing that improvement is unknown to us. there are many paths this story can take, but rather than worrying about what might happen, let’s focus on the here and now. let’s focus on the problems at hand, and let’s focus on the development the characters are undergoing. 

don’t ignore the wrongness/cruelty of characters’ actions, but don’t romanticize them either. if you do, you’re only doing a disservice to the character’s personality, existence, and the author’s intentions.

(and as for this newest chapter specifically: I see why people can get excited about He Tian telling Guan Shan to wear the earrings. He Tian wants to verify to both himself and She Li that Guan Shan is with him now. that Guan Shan is no longer under She Li’s control. who doesn’t love a little verification of their OTP’s relationship, especially when it involves an enemy?

but at the same time, it’s unhealthy. Guan Shan doesn’t have a say. he’s being handed around like an object. I don’t think this is pessimistic thinking; I think it’s the truth that no one wants to acknowledge/hear. but I’m not saying that tianshan is wrong in this chapter; I’m saying that He Tian has good intentions, but he’s not showing them correctly. and there will be a chapter in which he does show them correctly, but we must travel this rocky road before we get to that point. patience is key, and I cannot wait until He Tian and Guan Shan reach that moment of clarity. you can’t have light without the dark.)

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛ californication sentence starters. ❜

(   WARNING: THIS IS PROBABLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK DUE TO VERY STRONG LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT.   )

‘  i am not a fucking shrink. i don’t give a shit anyway.  ’ ‘  we are not talking! we are not fucking! nothing is happening!  ’ ‘  you know me... the talking and the fucking go hand-in-hand.  ’ ‘  rehab is for quitters.  ’ ‘  you can’t snort a line of coke off a woman’s ass and not wonder about her dreams. it’s not gentlemanly.  ’ ‘  damn you smell good, like home.  ’ ‘  spend the rest of your life with this fool and this fool will spend the rest of his life making sure you don’t regret it.  ’ ‘  there's no easy way to say this so i’ll just say it: i met someone.  ’ ‘  there’s this feeling in my gut that she may be the one.  ’ ‘  i don’t know how to be with you right now and that scares the shit out of me.  ’ ‘  it’s a big, bad world full of twists and turns and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment.  ’ ‘  i don’t know what’s going on with us and i can’t tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me.  ’ ‘  it’s a lost art, really. like handjobs.  ’ ‘  i have a confession to make... i didn’t like you very much at first.  ’ ‘  you didn’t seem to have much interest in me, which i of course found vaguely insulting.  ’ ‘  funny how some things never change.  ’ ‘  i cruised along, doing my thing, acting the fool, not really understanding how being a parent changes you.  ’ ‘  i don’t remember the exact moment everything changed. i just know that it did.  ’ ‘  loving you has been the most profound, intense, painful experience of my life.  ’ ‘  i made a silent vow to protect you from the world, never realizing i was the one who would end up hurting you the most.  ’ ‘  when i flash forward, my heart breaks, mostly because i can’t imagine you speaking of me with any sort of pride.  ’ ‘  i care for nothing and everything at the same time.  ’ ‘  noble in thought, weak in action.  ’ ‘  i think that’s the good thing about never being married, it’s impossible to divorce.  ’ ‘  i tried, but somewhere along the line, you slip back into what you know and i’m sorry about that.  ’ ‘  i’m sorry we haven’t talked in awhile because i miss you.  ’ ‘  you’re doing the best you can. you’ve done good.  ’ ‘  that fucker is the horniest man i’ve ever met. he’ll be pitching a tent on his deathbed.  ’ ‘  don’t tell me what to feel.  ’ ‘  all my fucking life people have been telling me i do things wrong. i’m always the fucking asshole. i look around and i see everybody else is infinitely more fucked up than i am.  ’ ‘  i’m offering you sex, and you just want to talk? has the earth spun off its axis?  ’ ‘  i question everything. it’s very healthy.  ’ ‘  you should live with someone who everyday reminds you how fucking lucky you are to be with them.  ’ ‘  you don’t want to be with me.  ’ ‘  if i were to give myself to you, you would run for the hills ‘cause you’re not in love with me. you’re in love with the idea -- the idea of love.  ’ ‘  imagine my fucking disappointment when you turned out to be the biggest cliche of all.  ’ ‘  a great father is a guy that gives it all up for his family and leaves his self-destructive bullshit at the door.  ’ ‘  there isn’t a woman that i’v’e met that i haven’t fallen in love with for 10 minutes or 10 years.  ’ ‘  friends don’t let friends bang each others soulmates!  ’ ‘  i consider that whole area -- general area -- my cock. like, from my knees to nipples.  ’ ‘  two people of the opposite gender can’t rendezvous after 7 pm.  ’ ‘  life’s just too fucking boring not to try.  ’ ‘  i may be easy, but i’m not sleazy.  ’ ‘  a morning of awkwardness is far better than a night loneliness.  ’ ‘  i like it here. it’s nice. the sun is chirping, the birds are shining. the water’s wet.  ’ ‘  life is good, sweetheart. life is good.  ’ ‘  you can blame everything on the economy, douchebag.  ’ ‘  no man should ever have to bear witness to his “o” face.  ’ ‘  you know, it’s not fair to say “b.r.b.” and then never actually b.r.b.  ’ ‘  fuck around all you want. i’m no judge judy. but don’t string a woman along for a major chunk of her childbearing years. that’s not cool.  ’ ‘  when it comes to emotions, women know how to pain with the full set of oils while men are busy doodling with crayons.  ’ ‘  there’s nothing quite like getting stoned on the very bed that your ex-domestic partner shares with her fiance. it’s the little things.  ’ ‘  hang out with your wang out, but remember: no gloving, no loving.  ’ ‘  hate the game, not the playa.  ’ ‘  no matter what you did, don’t give up. do not give up because if she loves you, she’ll forgive you.  ’ ‘  things fall apart. they break. that’s life.  ’ ‘  despite all evidence to the contrary, i am a gentleman.  ’ ‘  i’ve been thinking about us -- that’s us with a capitol “u”.  ’ ‘  the story of us... how the fuck do i sum it up?  ’ ‘  any story with me in the center of it will never be anything less than a big, smiling mess.  ’ ‘  our time in the sun has been a thing of absolute beauty.  ’ ‘  for years i woke up, fucked up, said i was sorry, passed out, and did it all over again.  ’ ‘  i’m a sucker for happy endings.  ’ ‘  there’s just the two of us, which can be fucking ugly sometimes.  ’ ‘  i didn’t know how to finish it because it’s not over.  ’ ‘  it’ll never be over, as long as there’s you, and there’s me, and there’s hope, and grace.  ’ ‘  wine me. dine me. stand up 69 me.  ’ ‘  one does not very easily forget the kiss of a beautiful woman.  ’ ‘  that’s right. i said it. i meant it. i’m here to represent it.  ’ ‘  can you slow down? i don’t know why you’re so fucking angry.  ’ ‘  i’m not the one who disappeared to the bedroom with that fucking weirdo degenerate.  ’ ‘  you’ve got a fucking nerve to take issue with anything i do, ever!  ’ ‘  you’re right, but what am i supposed to do? just sit there and watch it happen?  ’ ‘  why the fuck did you come here tonight anyway?  ’ ‘  there’s always this voice in the back of my head that says ‘maybe this time it will be different, maybe this time the stars will align and there will be this magic moment between us where everything will be okay again.’  ’ ‘  there’s always something or someone in the way!  ’ ‘  you want me not to see anybody else, just say the word. but if you keep me at arms length, what am i supposed to do? just sit around with a cock-cage on and hope that you’re going to have some kind of epiphany about us?   ’ ‘  do you honestly think i care about you fucking someone else? if we’re not together, i don’t expect you to have taken some vow of celibacy.  ’ ‘  when i see someone look at you the way i used to look at you... i fucking hate that. it makes me sick to my stomach.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to be that person. i don’t want to start playing games and like, trying to get back at you or try to hurt you.   ’ ‘  i thought there was something wrong with me, but it’s you. you’re a loser.  ’ ‘  i’m sorry you got hurt. i thought we had an understanding.  ’ ‘  i swallowed your cum, but worst of all, i swallowed your bullshit.  ’ ‘  i guess being there made it easier to forget that i still love the shit out of you. yeah, wow, i said that out loud, didn’t i?  ’ ‘  so? i still love you. i always will, till the day i die. but at some point, i had to choose happiness, i had to make that a priority.  ’ ‘  i’m with someone who understands that i’ll never stop loving you and that makes me happier than i’ve ever been.  ’ ‘  contrary to popular belief, i’m not out there trying to hurt anyone.  ’ ‘  by the way, you’re an incredibly woman. very sexual. are you ovulating right now?  ’ ‘  don’t blame me because you were born with a clit for a cock and a tiny beanbag to house what passes for balls.  ’ ‘  eat my shit.  ’ ‘  it makes my labia shrivel.  ’ ‘  die young and suffer, dickless.  ’ ‘  you can either cry like a bitch or smack a bitch.  ’ ‘  what, you going back to your mommy’s? you fucking infant.  ’ ‘  sperm would enter my pretty little vajoojoo and my cold black heart would kill that shit dead, son.  ’ ‘  trust me, getting your asshole bleached would be much more fun.  ’ ‘  you’re like one of those freaky chicks who marries serial killers on death row.  ’ ‘  well, if you were not so preoccupied with sticking your dick in anything with a hole that will have you, you might noticed these things.  ’ ‘  i want to go back and do it all over again. only this time, not make the same mistakes... this time, do it better. this time do it right.  ’ ‘  our best days are behind us now. you’re just chasing a dragon. we’re never going to life happily ever after.  ’ ‘  you’re going to die poor, drunk, and alone.  ’ ‘  welcome to the place where time stands still, where whisky flows and always will.  ’ ‘  i came back... for you. i know it’s overwhelming, disorienting even.  ’ ‘  we have to resolve this shit one way or another, don’t you agree?  ’ ‘  i say we stay here until we figure it out... or until we both get so fucking horny we can’t stand it. either way, it’s a win-win for both of us.  ’ ‘  what is this? explain yourself, woman.  ’ ‘  do you realize that the bottom has just officially dropped out of our relationship?  ’ ‘  angry? i’m not angry! why would i be angry? i’m not even entitled to angry.  ’ ‘  that’s what makes it worse: she was there first.  ’ ‘  you might wanna curve your crazy bitch.  ’ ‘  why, do you still love her?  ’ ‘  are you challenging me right here in my own home?  ’ ‘  of course i love you! i’ve always loved you!  ’ ‘  i didn’t fuck anyone, if that’s what you were wondering.  ’ ‘  who gives diamonds to the homeless? not i.  ’ ‘  i love you and i want to spend the rest of my life annoying the shit out of you.  ’ ‘  i’m sick and tired of fighting about the past.  ’ ‘  home is wherever you are.  ’ ‘  you are so full of shit?  ’ ‘  other than making the sweet love to me, that’s the nicest thing you could’v done.  ’ ‘  you’re right, i know everything there is to know about you.  ’ ‘  i am lucky. i’m lucky to have known you, i’m lucky to have loved you.  ’ ‘  i like you when you’re crazy.  ’ ‘  you have so much shit going on in your life right now, you don’t want to add this to the mix.  ’ ‘  thank you for letting me be the crazy one for once.  ’ ‘  merry fucking christmas. can we go home already?  ’ ‘  it’s your life. if there’s something you don’t like about it, you can change it.  ’ ‘  you need to be in the middle of a mess of your own creation, right? that’s what makes you attractive and also, impossible to live with.  ’ ‘  impossible is a very strong word.  ’ ‘  i love you, but i can’t be with you. when will you accept that?  ’

[paulatoo]

To impeach or not to impeach has taken center stage... for a minute anyway.

Now that the Mueller report is out the question of to impeach or not to impeach has taken center stage.  Sadly even before the time that President Trump took office there was a ruling that lying politicians are allowed to because campaign rhetoric, for some reason, doesn't carry the same weight as a lie in any other situation.  To some extent there's a benefit to that for any otherwise honest candidates who get into office and find themselves unable to fulfill campaign promises.

However, in a situation where you have individual chronically, habitually and intentionally disseminating false information, especially when they are using the Office of the President of the United States as their platform, we need to have an option for removal.  For those reasons I think the Republican Party should have moved to remove him at most three months into his presidency.

The Mueller report is detailing a lot of the ways Russia has attempt to interfere with our elections, actual areas of interference, covering some of the interactions between Donald J Trump and Russia that predate his candidacy,  and his obstruction of/attempts to obstruct the investigation in to those things, impeachment is a buzzword.

I'd like to look at these options even though I'm more strongly in favor of removing him from office via the 25th Amendment and think that that is long overdue as well.

First question: Is there enough evidence to impeach successfully?  Although we do not have option to view the unredacted information in the Mueller report, that may contain information that could verify a successful impeachment, is there enough evidence to bring a strong enough case to actually successfully impeach Trump?

To remind you Despite what Donald says, there is a lot of evidence in the Mueller report, he definitely repeatedly at least attempts to obstruct justice or ordered an obstructionary act.  Fortunately for him now, the people who President Trump told or ordered to obstruct the investigation, or fire someone, or otherwise stop, silence, etc. didn't listen to him.  His reaction to that has been to trash those individuals all over the place on Twitter and in the press, when he should be thanking them so that takes us back to the 25th Amendment.  Then there is Trump & Putin referring to all of this as a ‘mouse’. 

If they attempt to impeach Trump and fail( primarily due to the overly Republican Senate having and cashed in the security of the country in favor of maintaining a unified front, regardless of the fact that's a President could potentially be working on behalf of Russia, or even another foreign national to bring down the country. It's not like we're seeing the 1990s Lindsey Graham trying to hold Bill Clinton accountable, sadly he's gone the opposite direction this time, quoting misleading statements. Do they have him too? Btw I was not Bill Clinton’s biggest fan back then either) would that preclude him being charged once the protections of the office of a sitting President are removed?  Reportedly no, even post successful impeachment, he could still be charged, but post impeachment the court would most likely go easier on him since he already had penalties placed on him by virtue of the impeachment.

At this point it is my understanding that the Trump 2020 campaign could be run under the slogan: ‘Please vote for me, I don't want to go to jail’. Will he be charged when leaving office if he's not impeached or removed under the 25th amendment? We will have to wait and see. http://time.com/5123598/president-trump-impeach-criminal-constitution/

What will the tear in the societal fabric be when unfortunately, despite the evidence in both the congressional election interference investigations and Mueller report, many Republicans still don't understand what has been happening with Donald Trump and Russia. The stuff he keeps claiming is a hoax (when there's definitely, proven times over, been interference and interference attempts by Russia and other countries in our electoral process and in our society as a whole.) Information that the Senate Investigative Committee publish in 2018 (The Senate Select Committee on Intelligence (SSCI) July 3, 2018 https://www.burr.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/SSCI%20ICA%20ASSESSMENT_FINALJULY3.pdf ) (Remember they also released information on many of the false Facebook pages & ads as well as other social media accounts involved.) The things Trump has still been dismissive about if not straight up denying.  More of Trump & Putin’s ‘mouse’.

What will the cost of not acting be?  The lack of action on the part of the Republican majority and super-majority has already made it acceptable for another highly contradictory, pathological liar to behave in the ways that Donald Trump has behaved in office going forward. God knows Nixon must be on full spin rotation in his grave during this Presidency. I am not sure we can afford this Presidency let alone this precedent.

If no action is taken will the message going forward be that it's okay to at least strongly attempt to obstruct Justice? Will being charged, and possibly landing in prison, after leaving office be enough of a deterrent to prevent future presidents from obstructing justice?

As I said earlier I think the Republican party should have removed him from office very shortly after he took office for all the other things he does wrong.  The whole of the country should remove him from office, invoking the 25th Amendment because of the things he does and says, and the way he behaves so very inconsistently and untruthfully.  Not long ago he was claiming his own father, born in New York City, was actually born in Germany.  Prior to his campaign he was claiming President Obama was not a United States citizen.  

There are lines that can be drawn to separate the difference of a misstatement, or something that turns out not to be true(singular event, or very infrequent event done without the intent to fool or defraud) from a fraud, and intentionally, pathologically misstating information and flat out lying, as well as the crazy statements he makes to prevent abuse of this precedent in the future.

As badly as I want this incompetent, divisive, liar out of office, even I am weary of the continual hearings. If you don’t know me I am sure it is hard to read this & believe I am nonpartisan, but it’s not about Rep vs. Dem or Ind or any of the other 20+ political parties.  It is about behavior & protecting my country.  All I can do is assure you that I would react the same way to anyone from any party behaving this way.

Again, I was not Bill Clinton’s biggest fan back then either. The Republican Party has lost me at least the Democrats have done a better job of consistently presenting factual information this century to date. Hopefully when DJT is done breaking the Republicans they can choose truth over spin, and we will all have more honest trustworthy politicians until we  https://paulatoo.tumblr.com/post/176167819317/tired-of-congress-not-getting-things-done-not  anyway. 

I think it’s beyond time that Republican members of Congress start using facts to educate their party and American’s in general, but most of them are acting like a Democrat will replace an impeached Trump instead of Pence, that’s concerning on it’s own.

We didn’t start the fire, but we need to put it out!  What other choice do we have to preserve our legal & behavioral standards for the office of the president, or any office really? I am already very concerned about what we are going to do when another Donald Trump type candidate, without the 30 years of public red flags, comes along.  If people could be so fooled by this one how will we ever avoid another less obvious one?

Some resources for the honest politicians & honest ads movement

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/great-leaders-may-lie-but-great-liars-dont-lead-2016-07-06

I think between partyist political spin machines & multination interference via social media inroads manipulating opinions https://mitsloan.mit.edu/ideas-made-to-matter/when-lying-demagogue-authentic-candidate Lying ads https://www.natcom.org/communication-currents/political-speech-protection-and-supreme-court-united-states Sword cuts both ways http://www.klrn.org/blogs/texas-week/this-isnt-first-time-a-judges-ruling-considered-political-rhetoric/ ��Where false claims are made to effect a fraud or secure moneys or other valuable considerations, say offers of employment, it is well established that the Government may restrict speech without affronting the First Amendment. See, e.g., Virginia Bd. of Pharmacy, 425 U. S., at 771 (noting that fraudulent speech generally falls outside the protections of the First Amendment)” &” But to recite the Government’s compelling interests is not to end the matter. The First Amendment requires that the Government’s chosen restriction on the speech at issue be “actually necessary” to achieve its interest. Entertainment Merchants Assn., 564 U. S., at ___ (slip op., at12). There must be a direct causal link between the restriction imposed and the injury to be prevented. See ibid.” Justice Kennedy, UNITED STATES v. ALVAREZ    https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/11pdf/11-210d4e9.pdf  I think the last few years prove we are closer to establishing a link to demolish lies told from being protected as political rhetoric, hopefully anyway.  In an environment where so much spin & misinformation is allowed to grow & spread too many people seem unable to discern truth from lies at the expense of all of us. 

Please note that I rabbit holed my way into that First Amendment information by, instead of just emotionally reacting to the headlines(in this case a synopsis I found inflaming):” The Court held that the Stolen Valor Act, which makes it a crime to lie about having received military honors or decorations, violates the First Amendment right to freedom of speech.” https://www.freedomforuminstitute.org/first-amendment-center/supreme-court-cases/ I read on to discover it wasn’t pro imitator as much as anti-poorly written law.  Researching past click bait headlines is part of our best defense against manipulation and poor decision making.  One thing we can thank the Trump campaign above others for is pointing out how misinformed how many people are, even in the information age.  I pray we learn from that soon, but sadly still see people sharing opinions, articles & videos with headlines they support, but content they may not agree with.

[choisgirls]

Are requests open?? My friend got me in Captain America, and I thought about how would the RFA+V+Saeran react to a Winter Soldier!MC? Or Black Widow, whichever you like. It could be angst or not, I will leave it up to you, thanks 💜💙

A/N: CIVIL WAR IS ONE OFMY FAVOURITE MOVIES AND STEVE ROGERS AND BUCKY ARE SOME OF MY CHILDREN F CUK (ihope this doesnt have any spoilers for you or anyone else who isn’t as far intothe marvel universe as i am oops) ((and i cant do angst, double oops, sorry)) ~Admin 404

*YOOSUNG:

               -You’reso cute and innocent, just like him and he loves it!

               -Exceptuh you aren’t…. exactly…. innocent? wow 404 so original, i didn’t seethat coming

               -Thetwo of you don’t keep any secrets from each other!!

               -So,that being said, you decided that he NEEDED to know about your past

               -Yousat him down and explained how, in the past, you’ve gone through intensetraining growing up

               -“??What kind of training?? Like for sports?”

               - oh,no sweetheart

               -Wait,you’re a spy?? Like you do the stuff Saeyoung does??? waIT YOU KILL PEOPLE TOO,WHAT THE

               -HETHOUGHT YOU WERE INNOCENT BUT APPARENTLY NOT???? It takes him a while tore-adjust due to shock (like a few weeks of not talking to you kind of while), but he still loves you nonetheless. He holds on to thebelief that!! It’s something you had to do!!! You had to do it all to survive!!And you’re here with him now, that’s all he cares about

               -Thoughhe is REALLY sad about not being able to have children with you because of yourtraining. It takes him a couple of months to come to terms with this but overtime, he decides that he’s just happy to be with you (and that adopting andmaking a kids life is perfectly okay with him!!!)

*ZEN:

               -You’remore flexible than him, holy shit

               -“MC!How! Were you in dance? Are you in dance now?” eyebrow wiggle, winkwonk

               -Youtell him that you’re flexible because of your job

               -Sowhen he asks about it, you casually drop that you’re previously known as aWinter Soldier; You had to be flexible for combat

               - imsorry you whAT

               -“Combat?What kind of combat? MC? What’s a Winter Soldier?? MC!” calm down stop yelling

               -Youtold him that you were basically an agent who’s powerful enough to be used as aweapon if the government wants you to be (because let’s be honest withourselves here, that’s what they are), he FLIPS OUT

               -WHATTHE FUCK MC??? YOU’RE A WHAT??? YOU CAN DO WHAT??? YOU JUST- JUST WHAT?

               -Ittakes DAYS for him to process this and come to terms with it. You’re sodangerous! But he still loves you. But… you can be in serious danger at anygiven moment and just!!! MC!!!

               -Heloves you though. He promises to do his best to protect you no need zen butthank you and he just wants to help his MC! Everything that’s happened isbehind you, and he just wants to be in your future, happy and safe! So he comesaround and starts to make jokes about it when he’s comfortable again you cancome play with my guns mc, wink wonk

*JAEHEE:

               -Shekeeps folders of everyone in the RFA but how in the world did this piece ofinformation get past her?

               - becauseits a secret jaehee, ya dont announce to the world when you’re a spy ya goof

               -Extremelytaken back by the announcement. A spy? An assassin? What the FUCK

               -SHE’SJUST A SIMPLE COFFEE LOVING ASSISTANT SHE NEVER EXPECTED SOMETHING LIKE THIS

               -Butalmost instantly, she’s asking you to teach her some moves

               -Sheknows judo but doN’T STOP THERE MC, SHE’S GOT A FIRE INSIDE

               -Alwaysreally worried for you? You can just leave the house for some groceries andshe’s worried as hell

               -Triesher hardest to always be there for you- you wanna talk about something, she’sthere. No matter how brutal or extreme the story is, she’s here for it

               -Once,you tried to compare your work to Saeyoung’s and she immediately shut you downbecause “You take your job seriously, MC” saeyoung crying in thedistance

               -Alsowants you to teach her how to be as flexible as you are because holy s h i t MCthat’ll make everything so much easier for her

*JUMIN:

               -Immediatelyknew something was up and that you were hiding something from him

               -Did heknow what? No. Was he going to find out? Obviously

               -He’sextremely straight forward, so casually asks what you’re hiding from him

               - thoughhe could have waited until you were done drinking?? Because choking on wineiSN’T FUN

               -Butyou decide that there’s no point in hiding anything when he straight up asksyou about it, so you tell him that you might…. have been trained as a WinterSoldier

               -“Ah,I see. I suppose that explains why you know so many languages”

               -I’msorry but uh?? Where is the shock??? The emotion??? juMIN THROW ME A BONE HERE

               -He hasliterally NO REACTION? Like he just doesn’t care? You are who you are and heloves you anyway

               -Hedoes try not to get on your bad side though because he does NOT want to seethat training in action no thank you mc

               -Alsotries to stay away from anything Russian because who KNOWS what could set youoff?? He obviously doesn’t know and he’s not about to even attempt it

*SAEYOUNG:

               -I’msure he’d find out from his background check

               -Sureyou can try to hide it but he’s reallygood at his job

               -Buthe’s SHOCKED AS HELL to find out that you’ve basically gone through the same trainingas him?

               -Youknow tons of languages, can fight, AND you’re a spy

               -“MCWE’RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER” saeyoung what are you talking about

               -Helikes to mess with you though, and bring up the fact that you’re a WinterSoldier every chance he can get

               -“Heydoes being a Winter Soldier mean you won’t get cold so i can keep my jacket tomyself?”

               - saeyoungyou and i both know that’s not what that means

               -Hedoes worry about you a lot though, since obviously someone somewhere could beout to get you.

               -Silentlyvows to protect you at any cost! Overall it doesn’t really bother himbecause??? He’s done a lot of the same stuff, if he judges you then he’d be ahypocrite

*V:

               -Ithink he’d know because of Saeyoung’s background check

               -Buthe’d wait until you were ready to tell him about it

               -NEVEREVER wants to force you to tell him something like this because?? It’sextremely personal?? And it’s a lot to handle?? And he truly doesn’t blame youfor hiding it and not just flaunting your job title around

               -Thatbeing said, he isn’t surprised by the news at all

               -“Iknow, MC. It’s alright” what

               -He’sdone some terrible things in the past and he regrets them all, but you’rewilling to accept him for who he is and not dwell on what he’s done

               -So hedoes the exact same thing for you! He just really loves you MC

               - plusyou’ve done the things you’ve done for work or something of the sort notbecause youre fucking crazy like rika im not even sorry for this

               -Thetwo of you will talk about what it means to be a Winter Soldier every now andagain but nothing further than that

               -Ifyou’re ever feeling down thinking about the past, he’s always there to remindyou that it’ll be okay! You don’t have to let it get to you

*SAERAN:

               -I’msorry you fucking what?

               -He’skilled some people but yoU? YOU’VE DONE IT TOO? WHAT THE

               -You???You’re so…cute? And not threatening looking to him at all? How the fuck

               -Heisn’t angry about it per say but he’s shocked as all hell and expresses itsimilar to anger my poor bby

               -Ittakes a while for him to come to terms with the fact that you’re literally atrained assassin

               -“Soyou’re like a spy or some shit, right?” I mean yeah technically

               -“ThenI picked the perfect person to infiltrate the RFA why the hell didn’t itwork?” because rikas a fuckin bitch and u deserve better

               -He’sactually okay with it in the long run? Like you can’t take back what you did,and neither can he

               -Soit’s better to just move on from it all, and that’s what he’s trying to do andhopes you do too

               -Alsookay with the fact you can’t have kids because of your training. He’s alwaysafraid of having kids, if the two of you want to have kids y'all can adopt,he’s cool with it

[gottahavepride]

11, 15, 16, 25, 28, 31, 60

11. are you listening to music right now?

ye!!! “Insomnia” by IAMX just finished playing && it shuffled over to Heysatan by Sigur Ros.

15. personality description

ooohhhh god lmao uhhhh. i don’t... really know myself?? idk i’d say i’m kind, that i care a lot about people, but like.... it varies. i have to actually care about them or i find it difficult to locate my empathy module looool. i’d also say im selfless but not always?? like when im mentally stable im p selfless and a lot of ppl say i put people TOO far ahead of myself but then. there are times where i just dont. im also really inconsistent with... a lot of things. i struggle to commit to projects. im not a very neat/clean/organized person naturally (tho i am trying && it’s WAY easier when im not mired in depression). i have to have a list of things i need to do or i get overwhelmed just trying to figure out where to start. i adopt speech patterns/mannerisms from ppl i get close to. i am not self-motivated or self-directed, i really need to know what im supposed to be doing when it comes to a job or w/e. i love people a lot and i love them really easily when it happens and once i love someone (platonically or romantically) its... like i’d do anything for them lmao. im fiercely loyal but also surprisingly impartial. i try really hard to be a good person & im too hard on myself when i fuck up. also i like talking about myself too much LMAO see above. also see the fact that i reblog ask memes w no shame

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

i mean, when im irritated w people i get impulses to snap/say not-pleasant things??? but i think this is referring to like ~deep secrets~ or w/e?? and uh. not really.... i don’t think? im p open honestly. im not a subtle person and im pretty obvious about my emotions. and if i wanna share something, as long as im comfy and im as certain as i can be that the person will be comfy w me sharing, then i usually just.... share.

25. role model

uuuhhhhh???? heck. i dunno. honestly i have no idea. i just try to be a kind person who doesnt hurt other people and who doesnt judge them. i mean ive fucked up but.... im trying to get back to that. maybe be a little less petty. probably not much less salty when im playing ovw tho LMAO

28. i’ll love you if…

u dont abandon me??? LMAO bpd makes this Too Easy on people. but uh. apparently i have a Type (somewhat aloof science nerds who are younger than me, like the mountains, write & draw, and tolerate much colder temps than i do) but like, as far as actions -- im a sucker for pet names. also people who take time to reassure me that im not a burden. and like, ive discovered that making a point to be like “hey im gonna be doing x for a while so i might not reply” means a Lot to me bc yknow. aforementioned abandonment issues looool.

31. 3 random facts

i have a collection of pretty scarves made out of those different types of sheer/light materials that i adore aesthetically and think i might wear one day when im more comfortable but like??? i actually never wear them lmao

i rly enjoy wearing heels & habitually try them on when i go into shoe stores just to admire them

i have no idea what my actual fashion aesthetic is but i want to discover it one day

60. ask me anything you want

am... i supposed to ask you??? i dont know. i’ll ask u when i send u one of these LMAO

[entergamingxp]

King of Cards Review — Long Live the King!

December 17, 2019 2:30 PM EST

Yacht Club Games proves that their final Shovel Knight expansion, King of Cards, is no fool’s gold by making their best game to date.

It is no real secret that I love Shovel Knight. I’ve bought five copies just for myself and three more as gifts. I’ve got each soundtrack on vinyl, I’ve bought magazines with special interviews with studio, Yacht Club Games. Heck, I even did my own interview with some of the developers back in 2017 and covered the game for DualShockers at PAX East 2019.

Something that has been a secret was how I was not too hot on King Knight winning one of the Kickstarter backer polls to become one of the playable campaigns. Frankly, he seemed like the most boring choice when compared to the other knights in the Order of No Quarter. I have always had a hesitation to the decadent dandy having his own campaign, despite having the utmost faith in the overachievers that make up Yacht Club Games.

That hesitation has been replaced with enthusiasm. Shovel Knight: King of Cards is the best game in Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove. The character of King Knight soars in his jaunty tale alongside my favorite 8-bit knight gameplay to date. King of Cards is more of a sequel to the 2014 indie delight than some simple stretch goal checkbox. Yacht Club Games has outdone themselves in every single way for the grand finale.

“King of Cards is the best game in Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove.”

Set as another prequel in the Shovel Knight video game universe, King Knight is on a quest to defeat the Joustus Judges, three regal representatives of an increasingly popular card game that is sweeping all the lands. The winner will be showered in riches and could even become a king of their own. It is a simple and silly premise that aptly fits the persona of King Knight. Yacht Club Games’ pun-packed writing shines as you explore three worlds in search of treasure and glory.

The meat of the story comes from its colorful cast of characters. Traveling across the world maps lands King Knight on board of an airship that steadily fills up with tons of characters; both old and new. King Knight’s interactions with the cast, especially those with his mother, are a comedic delight. The plot is a foil to 2017’s Shovel Knight: Specter of Torment and its dark, tragic backstory. I frequently chuckled throughout the King of Cards plot as King Knight did a quest all his own way. There are plenty of delightful references throughout the game for fans that made me smile, too.

Unlike Specter of Torment, King of Cards brings back an overworld map. This is not some cut and paste with a map like that in Shovel Knight: Shovel of Hope or Shovel Knight: Plague of Shadows. This time around, Yacht Club Games took inspiration from Super Mario World. Instead of one map that reveals more of itself the more you play, there are three entire maps: Two of which are brand new two the series. Each world map is slammed with alternate paths that can only be unlocked by finding hidden alternate routes within the levels themselves. Red paths indicate that an alternate route can be found within the level. Never mandatory to advance, these hidden paths encourage you to replay levels and fully explore each dense world map. Replaying a level is equally enticing due to them being so much shorter than the previous games’ levels.

Almost every level in King of Cards contains only one checkpoint. These levels are snappy with a tight focus. Death never feels like a major setback, even if you shatter the checkpoint for the loot inside. While not as quick as respawning in platformers like Celeste or Super Meat Boy, King of Cards benefits from having the entire level be shorter. I found myself far more willing to stick with a tough challenge or to hop right back in a level to find all three Merit Medals or to hunt down a secret red path.

This short design also is far more adaptable to the numerous platforms that the game is available on. Out of the nine platforms King of Cards is available on, three of them can be played portably (3DS, Vita, and Switch). It is far more convenient to pop in and play one level or two than it has ever been for Shovel Knight. It also does not hamper the home console and PC platforms, giving players a sense of great accomplishment to complete and explore a bunch of levels in a single sitting.

“I truly love playing Joustus.”

The traditional start-to-finish levels are not the only level types packed into King of Cards. Items (dubbed heirlooms in the Shovel Knight universe) get their own short levels. They force you to use the item to complete them with an endless supply of vigor, the game’s version of mana or magic. I prefer this design rather than buying items from chests or at the hub world. It taught me practical use cases for each item I picked up. Each of these item levels also ends with a character joining your motley crew aboard the airship. I love meeting the wider cast this way. I learn about each character while accomplishing something I was setting out to do.

These heirloom levels alongside the traditional levels give players an active choice in how they want to spend their time. It keeps the game fresh over long periods of play, while giving the portable crowd a quick hit of gameplay before they have to put their console down. There is one more level type that gives folks a choice in how they want to spend their time. Actually, it’s quite more than a level type. It’s a whole other game, entirely optional, but a surprising delight worth every player’s time: Joustus.

Joustus is a grid-based, board possession focused card game. The cards have arrows that indicate which way they push other cards. Your goal is to have your card placed on the most green gem tiles by the time all the main squares have been occupied. The closest game I could relate it to is those sliding block puzzles that when arranged correctly make a picture. Joustus is more a positional puzzle than an attack/defense card game.

Each players’ deck can only have 16 cards and three are revealed to both you and the CPU at all times. This limited deck keeps Joustus from feeling overwhelming like Gwent or Pokémon TCG. The board can have a center of 2×2, 3×3, and plenty of other combinations. There is a border of “graveyard” squares where cards get pushed out to and can no longer be manipulated by players, unless a card with a special perk is used. The loser has to forfeit a card of the winner’s choosing from any card out on the board. If you happen to lose a card you wish you hadn’t, the salesman, Chester, can sell you back any card you lost, which is a nice option for completionists. Chester will also sell you cheat cards that can make the games easier, something that seems perfectly in character with King Knight. I did not use a cheat card, in part because I wanted to challenge myself, but also because there is an achievement for not using them.

I truly love playing Joustus. It triggers that puzzle solving part of my brain without having to memorize too many rules and abilities for cards with attacks and whatnot. It is simple in just the right ways, while allowing for mentally engaging rounds against the CPU. I wish there was some way to play Joustus against another person, but the Joustus houses and numerous characters on the airship offer plenty of opportunities to deck it out against foes.

“King Knight’s moves feel like an evolution of Shovel Knight’s slash and down thrust.”

As for the knight in shining armor himself, King Knight’s move set is platforming design gold. He has two main abilities that are intricately intertwined. Pressing attack will trigger a shoulder bash that dashes King Knight a set distance to either the left or the right. When King Knight makes contact with an enemy or a wall, he triggers his second move; bouncing into the air like a spinning top. This spin has the same bouncy properties of Shovel Knight’s down thrust letting players hop all around the screen. If you manage to spin off the top of an enemy or object, the shoulder bash recharges allowing you to keep the chain going.

What I love about this move pairing is the versatility of it. They work wonderfully against baddies while providing both horizontal and vertical platforming movement. If you fall into a pit and should bash into the wall, you can pop back up with the spin. Bouncing around feels incredibly precise, especially on the 8Bitdo SNES-inspired controller I was playing with. King Knight’s moves feel like an evolution of Shovel Knight’s slash and down thrust. This evolution has turned the gilded goof into my favorite knight to use.

Back with the original release of Shovel Knight back in 2014, Yacht Club Games established themselves as pixel wizards with their 8-bit vistas and iconic characters. Shovel Knight has always been a looker. King of Cards is pixelated eye candy, no matter what type of screen you are playing on. The visual design of each level is engaging. They are all connected, too. You can see a clear geographical story that is told through the visual design. You can clearly tell where one level leads into the next and where on the overworld map the level is located. It is a subtle touch that ties each level and the world-at-large together.

Yacht Club Games also got to stretch their art team to new lengths. With the inclusion of two brand new worlds, we get to see places never-before-seen in the Shovel Knight kingdom. It’s refreshing and exciting to experience, especially as a long time fan of the series.

The graphical achievement rings even louder when considering all the types of screens that King of Cards can be played on. Nine different platforms had to have become a daunting visual task. Consider the franchise’s origins on the Wii U and 3DS. The stereoscopic 3D is killer for King of Cards! It is a shame to think fewer people will get to see this effect in action the further away from the 3DS the market gets, but the 3D shines. The multiple planes bring new life to the NES aesthetic. On my New 3DS XL’s larger screen, I got a diorama feel from the 3D on full blast. It also helps separate the action by literally placing it front and center, which is a nice perk.

What about the Wii U? I mention the Wii U selfishly, because of one particular picture setting the system has—component video. You know, those green, blue, and red video cables? Because I am a mad man and my wife lets me keep a 24-inch CRT in the living room of our apartment, I decided to try playing Shovel Knight on a screen from the era that inspired it. The results filled me with a warm, fuzzy feeling of imagining a world where Shovel Knight did launch on the NES. King of Cards simply looks fantastic; no matter what screen you play it on.

“King of Cards is the crowning achievement in the long and rich history of Shovel Knight.”

Perfectly paired with the 8-bit art is composer Jake Kaufman’s chiptune soundtrack. Three expansions in, I was excited to see just how Jake would mix up his iconic Shovel Knight themes once again. Previous games expanded and built upon the themes, giving them a new edge to strike out with against your ears. For King of Cards, the themes you know and love are almost all the same. For the grand Shovel Knight finale, Jake opted to make brand new music for all the new content in King of Cards.

There are tons of new songs just for Joustus. They perfectly blend into the scene of the card game and may cause you to bob your head along while dealing out the cards. All-new themes were also made for new level themes like Troupple Pond. One classic that received a new spin was Pridemoor Keep, King Knight’s stage in the previous games. It has inspired the world map theme for the whole land of Pridemoor. Jake’s soundtrack is an exuberant delight that is a wonderful finale for Treasure Trove as a whole.

King of Cards has reinforced that age-old saying of not judging a shiny knight by his armor, even a Joustus Judge. Years of development, five total games, and countless hours of work shine through every pixel. Yacht Club Games has taken what could have been a palette swap far beyond what anyone imagined. King of Cards may be a narrative prequel to Shovel Knight, but it is truly a sequel in every way. Yacht Club Games has raised the bar for what Kickstarter stretch goals mean to their communities and the video game industry at large. King of Cards is the crowning achievement in the long and rich history of Shovel Knight. The decadent dandy proves to have more beneath that gold exterior than I ever thought could be possible. I haven’t been this happy to be proven wrong in a long time.

December 17, 2019 2:30 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2019/12/king-of-cards-review-long-live-the-king/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=king-of-cards-review-long-live-the-king

[symbianosgames]

Classic Tools Retrospective: John Romero talks about creating TEd, the tile editor that shipped over 30 games

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

If you were to ask a room of game developers about their first experience making games, many would tell you that it involved using a tool that came with the game that they were already playing. Most likely, they found it tucked away in the same folder as the executable, sporting an enticing name like “editor.exe”.

Many years before Unity 3D, companies such as id Software, Epic, 3D Realms, Blizzard, and BioWare would release tools along with their games, in the hopes that enabling people to create new content would grow the community and extend the lifespan of the game. For many people, these tools were not only exciting to use, but they were also their gateway into the game industry. The content that they created would later become their resumes.

In recent years, retrospectives of classic games have been well received at GDC, but there have been very few stories about classic game tools. This series of articles will attempt to fill that gap, by interviewing key people who were instrumental in the development of those classic game tools.

For the first article of this series, I have the great pleasure of speaking with John Romero about TEd, the tile editor that he created at id Software, which went on to ship 33 games.

DL: Hi, John. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me!

JR: No problem!

DL: Before we talk about TEd, I want to take a step back: In the early 80s, there were very few level editors that came with the game. In your interview for the book Honoring the Code, you spoke about how the Terrain Generator in the game Pegasus ][ was one of the first level editors that you ever played with. What can you tell me about that experience?

JR: Well, the first time I saw Pegasus ][ was at Sierra College, in the Apple  room. It was one of the very first things I saw on an Apple. While playing it, I saw that there was this option to do terrain generation. I thought that it was pretty cool that it has this tool built in to generate gameplay.

It’s funny to think now that this is one of the earliest games that let you generate mods. This was the first time I saw anything like this. I thought it was really cool. It's funny, I never thought "why don't other games have that?"… I just never expected it!

  DL: OK, so, let's move on to talking about TEd.

[While we are talking, I launch two instances of DOSBox so we can look at TEd and Deluxe Paint, side-by-side]

  The first thing I want to talk about is the TEd splash screen. It says Deluxe Paint for Tile Maps. So, anyone who has read a bit about the history of id Software knows that Adrian Carmack used Deluxe Paint…

JR: The whole industry did.

DL: Yeah! Well, one of the first things that struck me was that the menu at the top of Deluxe Paint and TEd are very similar, in terms of look and feel. Were you trying to make something that was familiar to users of Deluxe Paint, or were you re-using something that was coming from Deluxe Paint?

JR: Before id Software, I had written some tools at SoftDisk and I was writing them on PC. I wrote a program called Pixel Puzzle Maker which was a tool used to create puzzles for a Softdisk game called Pixel Puzzler. So I wrote a pull-down menu system for Pixel Puzzle maker and then I did some modifications to it. I think I created some more tools for PC at Softdisk, then when I was doing the id stuff I think I created another one, because it was pretty easy to make this pull-down menu system.

It wasn't based on Deluxe Paint, because I never used Deluxe Paint, but I just thought having a pull-down menu it was much easier compared to dealing with a whole bunch of hotkeys… even though there are a lot of hotkeys!

  DL: Speaking of hotkeys, there are other similarities that I noticed. These days, we're very familiar with the Control-Z hotkey being for undo, but back then - at least in the case of Deluxe Paint and TEd - it's just the “u” key on the keyboard.

JR: [Laughs] Wow. Is that what I did?

DL: Yes! Here, if I fill in a few squares and press "u", it goes back...

[I draw some tiles, and then press “u” to undo the last action]

JR: [Laughs] Nice.

Oh, by the way, you're using DOSBox, and when you scroll around the screen, that is super slow compared to how fast it actually was on a 386 back in the day. It was lightning fast.

"EGA Scrolling using Latch mode was so fast back then, you had to tap the keys quickly because it was just flying by."

DL: Oh yeah? No kidding?

JR: DOSBox is slowing it way down for some reason. EGA Scrolling using Latch mode was so fast back then, you had to tap the keys because it was just flying by. So, you're getting to see a weird super chuggy slow version.

[Author’s note: Here is John as “user42604” on StackExchange explaining EGA Scrolling using Latch mode: http://ift.tt/2lc24UU]

DL: OK, so, we were saying that TEd has a lot of hotkeys. At the time that TEd was being used, you often had to read the help file to figure out how to use tools like these.

JR: Oh yeah, definitely, and I think some people were still at the tail-end of WordStar, which was like a nightmare of hotkeys.

DL: [Laughs]

JR: Back then, we were playing Ultima, and in Ultima, every letter on the keyboard was used, so it was not difficult to remember what things did when you were used to that, back then.

    [Author's Note: I dug up the manual for Ultima 1, and John is absolutely right... almost every key on the keyboard was mapped to an action!]

DL: For sure! So, when it comes to designing a level at that time in the games industry, you might use a piece of graph paper to decide where the tiles would go, and then you would type them in one at a time.

JR: Yeah.

  [Author's Note: After our interview, John sent me this graph paper drawing for a game he created called Mach Six. Also, click here to see an article on Gamasutra about how Nintendo used graph paper to design levels for the original Zelda on NES]

DL: So, at which point was it decided at id Software that it was necessary to create TEd?

JR: When I created Dangerous Dave in 1988, I needed to create levels for it, and I decided "well, why don't I just use the game itself, and just let my own game create levels, and save them out". So, that's what I did with Dangerous Dave.

So, when John Carmack saw that - because he was an Apple II guy - he was really impressed, because he was used to just using text to represent graphics. When we were first starting to make stuff together, I made TEd 1.0, and it evolved over the next six months to be TEd 5.0, which was used for 33 shipped games.

  DL: Wow… now, when you say 33 shipped games, that’s not only stuff that was within id - like the Commander Keen and Wolfenstein series - but also outside of id as well, like Rise of the Triad?

JR: Yeah! Also, Corridor 7, and stuff at Gamer's Edge, like Shadow Knights, Slordax, Dangerous Dave and the Haunted Mansion, Rescue Rover 1 and 2, BioMenace... a bunch of games! 

DL: So, is it also true that TEd was not only used -- from a side perspective -- to create levels for two dimensional side scrolling games, but it was also used -- from a top perspective -- to create levels for three dimensional first person shooter games?

JR: Yeah. TEd 5.0 is the same tool that created all those games.

DL: OK, on that topic, I was wondering: At a certain point at id Software, you guys went from making two dimensional games to three dimensional games. Did you ever debate the idea of creating a new editor versus re-using TEd?

JR: Yeah, I think we talked pretty quickly about it. We were saying "we're going to have a 2D matrix to represent the level. Cool, we'll just use TEd for it." Yup, that was it! [Laughs] It was very simple.

DL: So, there’s something else I wanted to ask you: In the Rise of the Triad help file – written by Tom Hall – he quotes you as saying this: "Once in a while a programmer really writes something he's proud of, a slick, elegant, blazingly fast routine that stands as a benchmark against which other code will be judged by. However, this is not the case with TEd's fill routine. This slow, stupid algorithm will casually fill one plane of data in a painfully creeping manner. Press ESC when it gets confused."

JR: [Laughs]

  DL: [Laughs] So, why did you write that? Is there a story behind the fill routine?

JR: Well, the fill routine had some bugs in it. I didn't spend a lot of time writing it, and it *mostly* worked, but sometimes it wouldn't fully flood fill, so you had to keep on clicking to fill all the areas. It was easy to use.

[As we are talking, I start using the Flood Fill routine, and TEd crashes inside DOSBox with a "Divide by zero" error]

JR: [Laughs]

DL: [Laughs] True to form! It's funny, because I was playing around with it before our interview, and I was saying to myself "I don't know why he was quoted as saying that, it works fine for me!"

JR: [Laughs] Well, it didn't ever divide by zero when we were using it... OK I think the problem is that you didn't have a tile selected. It will blow up if you try to flood fill with no tile.

[I restart TEd, which shows the graphics installation dialog]

  See that graphics installation right here? What TEd would do is it would actually let you edit maps in CGA, EGA, and VGA and it would move all of the graphics data up into XMS memory, so it could pull it out of XMS when you wanted to switch graphics modes. So if you had a game that had all three graphic modes, then it would let you pull down those tiles. You could pull the VGA tiles down because you're switching to VGA mode, so they would all be loaded up and sitting in memory.

DL: Yes, I read that was a pretty revolutionary feature at that time.

"Totally! [That error message] was totally for Tom [Hall]!"

JR: Yeah. The other thing I did was that if you had a cursor somewhere in the level, you could press Alt-L, and it will launch the game and put you right at that location in the level. See if it will work.

[When I place my cursor in the level and press Alt-L, an error message appears]

DL: [Laughs] So, this is the other thing I wanted to talk to you about...

JR: [Laughs] 

DL: I took a screenshot of this error message as I was playing around with TEd earlier, because I wanted to ask you about it. You wouldn't see this kind of error message in Photoshop or Maya these days... [Laughs]

JR: Nope, nope! This tool was only written for me and Tom [Hall]. 

DL: Of course! That's what I wanted to ask you: Did you write this error message specifically for Tom?

JR: Totally! It was totally for Tom. I would never make that error. [Laughs] 

DL: [Laughs] I can imagine him reacting to it when he saw it for the first time.

JR: Oh yeah, he'd be laughing.

[John then shows me that you need to add the name of the executable of the game after the TEd executable so it knows what to launch when pressing Alt-L]

DL: Hey, that worked!

JR: Oh, but it put you at the start of the level. I think the reason why is that you're using a release version of the game, which ignores that command line parameter. The commercial version doesn't allow that, because they you could just cheat!

DL: Yeah, OK, that makes sense. But to me, cheating is one of the things that got people started in game development… you know, having the ability to modify levels in the game to mess with their friends...

JR: Oh yeah! [Laughs]

DL: So, I wanted to wrap up by talking about the future of game development tools.

In the early 90s, when I was getting started making games by using the tools made by you and other developers, it wasn't always easy: you had to read the help file – that is, if it existed. You needed a bit of technical knowledge, and you often had to learn some basic scripting or programming. However, at the same time, you could make some 8-bit pixel art and it could look half-decent. You also had the flexibility to make the levels look any way you wanted.

These days, there are tools like SnapMap which are a lot more accessible to everyone, but there is a lot less flexibility. There's visual scripting, so you don't really have to learn how to script or program. Making assets that look good enough to be in the game is out of reach for most people.

My question to you is: Do you think that some of these modern tools are not giving people who are getting into the industry enough flexibility, or do you think that this is just the evolution of the games development – in the same way that people went from coding in assembler to compilers – and this is just our industry is moving forward?

  JR: This is where it's gotta go. The group who made SnapMap started their careers by playing Doom and using TEd. The company that was embedded inside id Software was called Escalation Studios. They did Doom Resurrection. I've known those people for over 20 years. They're very hardcore gamers, they come from the Doom world, and then the Quake world. They've followed the company since we made Doom. These were people whose lives were about making levels for years.

So, SnapMap was a natural evolution of where tools need to be for people, but on console. Obviously they didn't create Doom using SnapMap, but SnapMap is a really great way for people who have never done level design to – at least – see if they like it, and if they do like that, well there are more powerful things that they can do. Maybe not with this version of Doom, but with the Source engine, and many other engines out there, like Unreal. So this is to give them a taste of what it's like.

DL: OK, that makes sense. So it's not a replacement, it’s a way to get people started on that path.

JR: Yeah, because making the pieces of SnapMap is the hard part. So, if that's something that people can do for the PC version of Doom, then they'll actually know what real level design is like, at least in those modular chunks.

"First, you need to write the tool for the user of the tool."

DL: So, for my last question, I wanted to loop back to where we started: looking back at classic game retrospectives.

Sometimes there are tricks and tips that - over time - get lost. I think that one of the interesting things about the GDC classic game retrospectives is that people who are bringing back knowledge that has gotten lost over time. People like you, who have been in the industry for a while, can pass down this information to people who are just getting in to the industry now.

So, specifically from a tools development standpoint, what advice you would give to tools developers these days?

JR: Yeah, definitely. First, you need to write the tool for the user of the tool. So, if a level designer is going to be using your tool, that's the person that you need to make the tool for. Make it as easy as possible, with as much power as they are asking for. It's also important to take the time to really use the tool yourself, so you can experience what's annoying about it.

"A lot of times, tools programmers don't go far enough asking the questions about 'Why do you want that? What is it that you're actually trying to do?'"

DL: Definitely.

JR: Also, a lot of times, when designers ask for some power, a lot of times, tools programmers don't go far enough asking the questions about "Why do you want that? What is it that you're actually trying to do?" because we can wrap up a lot of functionality for you to make it easy when you want to put these things in the world… versus "here are all these components... have fun, level designers!" and then the programmers run away.

DL: Right! [Laughs]

JR: It's also great if the tools programmers and the users are in the same room, to make sure that the tool is being written with the best communication between the two.

DL: Agreed.

JR: Finally, don't make stuff in assembly. [Laughs] What I mean is, it's really hard to maintain a tool ten years later when it's using languages or features that are so hard-coded for the platform that it's on. So try to abstract the functionality so you can replace it later. I actually had that problem with TEd, where - in 2001 - I needed a tile editor to make levels for a new game I was going to make, and I went back and looked at the TEd 5.0 code, which was from 1991, and I was like "Wow, there's no way I can use this code in any way..." [Laughs]

"Remember, tools live longer than games do."

DL: [Laughs]

JR: Remember, tools live longer than games do.

DL: That's all great advice. Thank you so much, I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me.

JR: Thanks!

David would also like to thank Kris Graft, Marc D’Amico, Shawn Guzzo, and Miles Holmes for their advice in writing this article.

Are you interested in game development tools?

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