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itsfairly · 1 year ago

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Nanami x reader where the reader teaches Kento about Dia de los Muertos? And they make a small ofrenda and put their most beloved people on them (like Yū Haibara for Nanami).

P.S HAPPY HALLOWEEN AND DIA DE LOS MUERTOS Fairly!!! I hope you have a great holiday

Obon & Día de Muertos // Nanami Kento x gn! Latine!reader

word count: 1.7k

cw: gn!reader, latine!reader, fluff, established relationship, very little info on both celebrations (i was having flashbacks to my undergrad research papers lol), petnames (sweetheart, beautiful, love)

summary: Japan had Obon and Latino America has Día de Muertos, celebrations that are much more similar than what you two realize. So when Día de Muertos rolls around, Nanami decides to do a surprise for you just like you have one for him.

a/n: thank you for calling again, @erigaur! thank you and happy (late) halloween and dia de los muertos to you too! i had fun doing this request because i didn't know about obon before and it is so interesting how similar it is to día de muertos. Thinking about it has made me imagine how Nanami would instantly understand día de muertos and adopt some of the traditions if he had a latine partner. So here is the idea, hope you enjoy it!

liked this? show it with a like, reblog, and/or comment. each is greatly appreciated and celebrated!

It was around Obon week that Nanami first heard you mention Dia de los Muertos. He was explaining to you how he has gotten quite busy this week from having to balance between work and preparations for Obon, quick to explain to you how Obon is a festival in which people pay respect to their ancestors and those who have passed away for a couple of days. He knew not many cultures dealt with the topic of death, but as someone whose line of work often reminded him of it through the many losses he had to bear witness along with the possibility of his own, he found the festival to be quite important.

“Oh, like Dia de los Muertos.” You chimed in, which was met with a few blink from Nanami that asked for clarification. “Day of the Dead, we celebrate it around October-November but it's the same thing—we honor the dead as they come back to us. I didn’t know other cultures had something similar to it.”

“Not so different after all,” he hums, leaning back on his seat as he realizes the similarity between your cultures. Nanami begins to wonder about your version of the holiday. Sure, he has heard it becoming more prominent over at mainstream media in a way that Obon is not, and yet, those mentions were never in depth.

“So what do you guys do during Obon?” He heard you ask, looking up at you and seeing your curiosity in your eyes.

“We visit our ancestors and those who have passed away, take care of their graves and leave offerings and lanterns for them.” Nanami throws his head back, sighing as he thinks over the holiday. “It’s not a one-day holiday, each day has its own tradition and we hold a festival to celebrate it.”

“Huh, sounds similar to Day of the Dead. Although I would say that ours is known for holding up a shrine full of offerings for our loved ones. It’s a big part of my culture, celebrating both life and honoring death throughout a couple of days. Some places may hold festivals, colorful and quite breathtaking, but my family always made it a somewhat private celebration.”

“How so?”

“We focused more on the shrine than going to the cemetery. Getting the marigolds, cooking the meals, and everything else the shrine needed. My mom always made the altar—we call it ofrenda, by the way—looked so pretty with the candlelight and my family’s pictures that I guess it just became cozy.” You shrugged, taking your mug into your hands as silence set between you too.

Nanami let the silence take over as he thought about it. Obon was something he took seriously to no one’s surprise, he lost too many people in one lifetime that the least he could do for them was honor them during the holiday. Though it sounded quite somber, the celebration seemed quite far from it with the way the streets would light up the night sky—and it sounded like it was the same thing with your culture. It wasn’t shying away from death like other parts of the world did, it was recognizing it as an important part of life and loving those who are not with us anymore. The idea of having more than just a week of devoting his attention and time towards those gone felt right to say the least. After all, he would be a bad boyfriend if he didn’t take the chance to learn about your culture, right?

Thus, October rolled around and you started gathering things for your shrine, you realized how difficult it would be now that you were living in Japan and many of the things you needed weren’t as common as they are at home. Though things like incense and candles were easy to find and other things like dishes could be improvised, you struggled to find the sugar skulls and the papel picado that were significant for your tradition. Today seemed to be another fruitless day of searching as you headed home, maybe you would have to order them online and hope for the best. You didn’t want to make do without them.

When you arrived home, you were surprised to find Nanami outside of your place, which was a sight for sore eyes that have been searching far and wide to make your shrine justice. As you walked closer to him, you noticed he had a bag on his hands, a big one by the look of it.

“Hey you.” You greeted him with a quick peck on the lips before turning to your door and opening it. “Were you waiting for a long time? You could’ve left me a text and I could’ve headed home sooner.”

“No need, I wanted to surprise you.” Nanami smiled, holding the door open now that you unlocked it so you could head in first.

“Surprise me with whatever is on that bag?” You smirked, setting your own bags on the living room where your shrine was being set up.

You had a week before the first day of day of the dead started and though you were struggling to find some things, no one could tell you you weren’t putting in the effort. When Nanami followed you to the living room, his eyes immediately fell on the shrine. Even if he has seen pictures of how ofrendas look for day of the dead, yours looked amazing in his eyes. Many pictures were already up on top of the white mantelpiece, some were old as indicated by the lack of color in them while others were much more recent. You had pictures of your first pets and of your most dear relatives on display with their favorite dishes and objects placed before each picture frame. He may not know these people and you may not be looking at him as you took out your groceries of the day, but he couldn’t help but bow before the shrine out of respect.

“You’re setting quite the bar for all the other day of the dead shrines I’ll see.” Nanami commented, walking to your side now that you were done pulling out the contents of your bag.

You looked behind him, sighing. “I’m not in love with it, my mom’s shrine is much better than this. But I suppose it’s the best I can do.” You shrugged, turning to face him. “You didn’t answer my question though.” You smirked, looking down at the bag.

Nanami smiled at you and then looked down at what you bought for the day. “I wouldn’t call it a surprise, more so as a gift to my beautiful sweetheart.” He hummed, extending the bag for you to take.

You raise a brow at him as you take the bag, which was quite heavy. As soon as you opened it, your eyes widened as they shifted their focus back and forth between the bag and Nanami.

“How did you get these?” This bag was filled with the things you were struggling to find the most. Sugar skulls, papel picado, and what seemed like crafts modeled after pan de muerto. “How do you even know about these?” You were left stunned to say the least as you looked at your boyfriend with a dropped jaw.

“You accompanied me during Obon after our conversation that day even when I told you you didn’t have to.” He explained. “I wanted to help you celebrate your tradition like you helped me celebrate mine.”

Truth be told, he started researching about the day of the death since then and learned that many of the things you needed weren’t available in Japan. When he saw that you were starting to assemble your ofrenda, he ordered what knew would be difficult to find in Japan. An order that was delivered today, thus here he was today. You were always so respectful of his traditions and customs that he wanted to do this for you. Not only that, but if your traditions weren’t that different from one another, he had a feeling you would sulk over if your altar didn’t have every element that was needed.

“Honey, this is…I just don’t have words, my god. Thank you.” You said softly, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him into a tight embrace that he gladly returned, placing his arms around your waist and his face on your shoulder.

“No need to thank me, you deserve to make your ofrenda look just how you like it.” He replied, trying his best to pronounce ofrenda as best as he could. Though it wasn’t a perfect pronunciation, you didn’t care, finding his accent alone adorable.

“Now that you mention it, I do need your help to make it look how I want to.” That made Nanami pull his head off your shoulder, still keeping his arms around you, as he hummed for you to elaborate.

“If it is okay with you,” you said gently, cautiously as you bit your lip before continuing, “I would like to put Haibara in the shrine. I know how important he is to you and I want to honor him because of it.”

His heart stopped the moment you mentioned his name, taking a sharp inhale that made you loosen up your embrace around his neck. But he quickly pulled you closer to him with your head on his chest, caressing your hair softly.

“It is more than okay with me. I would be honored that you would want to do this.” He whispered against your head, pressing a kiss on the top of it.

“It’s the least I can do, love.” You whispered back, closing your eyes as you felt the contact of his lips on your head.

You had made sure to leave a space for Haibara in your altar in advance, hoping and grateful that he gave you his blessing to put his picture up. After all, you knew how much death impacted his life and work. You wanted to give him more than just Obon week to honor those that he had lost by sharing Día de Muertos with him as you celebrated the life you have spent by his side.

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underprivilegedcactus · 11 months ago

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It's totally fine if you don't think God!Gale and Ascended!Astarion endings are necessarily bad endings. I agree there's definitely some ambiguity when it comes to these outcomes, but there's something that people should consider: When writing a character, one of the things a writer can choose to focus on to build them out is to consider What They Want vs. What They Need.

Gale WANTS to become a god (eventually) to both show up Mystra and to help mortals the way he feels that gods should. What Gale NEEDS is to realise that he is enough as is, that he is more than just his power and any more strength he could aqcuire. Gale needs to have more confidence in his own self worth.

Astarion WANTS ultimate power so that no can ever hurt him or those he loves ever again. He wants to be so strong that no one would even try to harm him, and if they do he can effortlessly squash them. For him, it's only through power that he can ever be truly and forever free. What Astarion NEEDS is healing from centuries of cruelty through true friendship or even romantic love and to be seen as an equal, to take back control of his bodily autonomy and choices, and to become actually free from not only Cazador, but from becoming a slave to his darkest impulses that his rough life has exacerbated.

Sure, both Gale and Astarion are happy when they get what they want, but there's lots of hints that it's not what they really needed.

Gale becomes the god of ambition, which is never satisfied with its lot and will likely cause trouble for the pantheon down the line. It's also very clear that he lost a vital part of himself, and I don't think it's his connection with his mother or Tara, which are still important facets but are ultimately not the core of what he lost. It's the fact that he no longer cares about doing actual good for people, a key component of his former personality. One of the things I love about his character is that no matter how high he rose, mortal Gale still cared about helping people in positive ways. Ambition doesn't give a damn where its drive takes people, for better or for worse. Mortal Gale would be horrified if he knew that he influenced evil people to do worse things in the name of ambition. Mortal Gale would also be horrified that his god version openly admits to not offering ANYTHING to his followers, which is anathema to what Gale originally wanted godhood for. But hey, he got what he wants and he's happy, so that MUST be good, right?

Ascended Astarion has entirely lost any shred of his humanity, and is now a complete slave to his darkest desires. He no longer views his romantic partner as a person. They're just his most prized object, whether they want to be or not. He enslaves other people, inflicting on them the exact kind of bondage he had to deal with for two centuries, including the person he used to love. On top of all that, he loses his capacity to even recognize the wrongness of his actions. For all intents and purposes, Ascended Astarion becomes a megalomaniacal homicidal psychopath who's hunger knows no bounds. Worse, he has no way to ever recognise if this is a problem anymore or something he doesn't like. But again, he got what he wants and he's happy, so it MUST be a good thing, right?

There's nothing wrong if you still see these outcomes as good endings, or even just better endings than an outright "bad" ending. I see what you mean, and also, it's a video game and these are fictional characters, not people who can actually get hurt. Like so much media and art, it's really more of a thought experiment than any kind of moral indicator.

I do however implore you to consider why so many people, Larian included, don't see these outcomes as good, and in some ways perhaps even worse than other "bad" endings. A very common but very relevant trope in storytelling is "be careful what you wish for because you might just get it", and it's usually to remind us that getting what we want isn't always what's best for us in the long run.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 gale #bg3 spoilers #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #astarion #bg3 astarion #storytelling

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sadnightforus · 1 year ago

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HARD TO LOVE (KHJ)

ex!hongjoong x gn!ex reader

SYNOPSIS: It’s been months, exactly 7 at that. And every time that Hongjoong shows up vulnerable at your doorstep, drunk and vulnerable, you let him back in for another night.

WORD COUNT: 3.2K

WARNINGS: beware of the substance usage like alcohol, cigarettes and all that, distant behavior from hongjoong, full on angst emotional angst (think about how exes feel), a little cuss word that is avoidable.

PART OF HEARTBREAK STATION

A/N: this is legitimately my favorite song. I will not shut up about it. I hope I do this song justice with this fic (even though I might not be satisfied)

SONG USED: HARD TO LOVE BY ONE.

reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated!

It’s 2 in the morning and yet, you’re unable to sleep.

Your mind keeps racing, you don’t really know why. But you’re restless as you keep tossing and turning in the comfort of your own bed. You have an important day ahead but you feel uneasy and you can’t always count sheep or think of something that relaxes you to put you into a dreamland. Damn you and the seasonal insomnia.

You try your hardest to not touch your phone as you’ve been cutting contacts from social media and spend more time in real life, to remind yourself that life outside is beautiful too.

Who are you really kidding? You just can’t let yourself type his username into the search bar and stalk him again.

You know that your relationship with him was not an ideal love story at all. Even your friends tell you so, something they do when they sense that you’re thinking about him.

You first met him at the club, kissed and lost touch with one another and the only thing you both remembered each other by was the steamy kiss you both shared and the names that sounded like a mantra the more you said it. The unexpected reunion at your favorite coffee shop that eventually led to him asking you out and becoming lovers but soon enough, it’s damaging your own mental health more than anything.

It’s what you’ve been trying to tell yourself.

You hear a loud knock on the door and the rhythm is almost sloppy, not very steady and sober like. You were worried that the poor door might’ve been broken down until you realize that your place itself has thin walls and anything within 7 feet away can be heard loud and clear.

You’re sure that it might be Hongjoong, the man you thought about earlier but you didn’t want to be wrong. You quickly get out of bed, searching for something sharp enough to use as a weapon in case it’s an intruder.

Another knock makes a loud and invasive noise against the door, this time with a much faster rhythm. A slurred whine can be heard and this time you put down your weapon.

“Can you open the door, please?”

It’s him, once again, drunk out of his mind and sound totally wrecked, unlike the guy you know who had his guards up and was tough.

You don’t want to, knowing that it’ll eventually fuel him to see you as his unofficial live-in guest who never goes home when he’s incredibly intoxicated. But you can’t help it as your legs already had a mind of its own and walked directly to the door, twisting the doorknob to let him in.

As you have expected, he is absolutely wasted. Totally hammered as he can barely stand up or walk straight without stumbling and almost tripping many times. You wonder how much he trip before making his way here because your place is on the 3rd floor. Someone might’ve dropped him here or he just significantly got even more drunk by the time he made it to your place.

“Sit down here, I’ll get some water for you.” You say, guiding him to your soft couch as you help him to seat himself down.

You take one look to fully observe him and tonight, he wears a long thin coat and only a black mask as an accessory. Way different from his usual style which consists of leather jacket and the black ripped skinny jeans pairing with some sharp earrings. He almost looks like a gentleman, the kind of man who you’ll introduce your family to after just 3 months of dating.

You open the fridge as you pour a glass of water, then grab the said glass and you tell him to drink up. Which he complies, gulping on the cold water that is relaxing in his throat. He puts the empty glass down as he fully lies on your couch, with you by his side, watching his every move like a hawk.

“I miss you.”

God, there he goes with his drunk shenanigans.

You bite your lips, containing yourself from saying out the things you might regret letting him know. It’s unfortunate that he tells you he needs you and every sweet things only when he’s drunk.

The thing is, Hongjoong really does love you. Just that he doesn’t know if you’re also aware of that or understand that completely.

You don’t know if he does, or is it just in a wave of moment that is easier to admit when you’ll wake up in the morning and forget it. But you surely also still love him. Somewhere deep down, you know that the attraction was never about the superficial qualities, but it was something that only both of you can feel. Something much deeper and unknown.

He’s afraid of how deep his feelings run for you too, which is why he kept on the tough act and kept his distance from you most of the time. But god, is he addicted to making bad choices. And is he so addicted to you and the love you gave that he keeps running to your place when he’s just way too drunk, for the sole purpose of finding his home and to be honest with you. The alcohol was his courage drink because he’d rather act like a complete asshole than opening his heart fully like this.

“It’s not hard to love you. But you’ll find it hard to love me. It’s also hard to love you when I can barely feel your love and I’m just like this… Gosh. I don’t know what I’m saying at all.”

It’s like a string of realization that has finally been broken inside of you. And for him, it’s like a scrabble of thoughts that has been scattered and repaired again as he begins speaking more.

He had never spoken this much at all, let alone with such sincerity that you were skeptical. Because the previous time, he would always tell you that he missed you and that he wanted to give it a try again but he’s scared of rejection and that he’s not stable enough for you.

It seems like tonight, he’ll be saying more than just few words or so.

“But I mean it, it’s not hard to love you when I’m sober but when I’m… I can’t feel it. I can’t really tell it.”

He’s slurring more words, like one of those new records that you bought with a shitty quality and half way into the playing time, it breaks down and starts scribbling into an indescribably odd sounding.

“I wanna look at you, hear you say all those things again.” He sighs, head is tilting and the body is slightly moving due to trying to balance and his eyes keep occasionally close due to his non-sober state.

“I don’t wanna be drunk like this anymore. I wanna keep looking at you but.. I can’t see anything clearly right now.”

There are tears, now forming in your eyes that are threatening to spill.

You know he’s being honest, even if his words don’t make sense in this state that he’s in right now. You can always tell that he really loves you, even if it was unconventional and almost in a non-traditional way. His love can be felt, not seen or heard.

That’s why you’ll always keep the doors open for him.

“I’m sorry. I know you probably hate me now. I didn’t treat you like you deserved to be treated.”

He can feel himself almost break down into tears as he finishes off with this bang of a statement.

He’s so fucked up, completely fucked up. He knows that, he is aware of how unstable he is since you both broke up but he doesn’t want you to know that.

Every night that he doesn’t show up at your door, he can’t sleep at his own place. He struggles with insomnia since you decided to part ways with him for good due to many differences and you feel like you both can’t offer each other things you crave for anymore. He understood that but he always selfishly tried to keep you around for longer, knowing that his lack of improvement will continue to worsen the relationship and now he just went down the rabbit hole that is hard to get out of.

Sleeping pills were the only thing that kept his mind from bursting. Too many of his late night thoughts were always about you and the ‘what ifs’ that he never got the chance to act on.

“I wanna change for you. I wanna try. But I have so many problems… but it’s not enough. So I’m sorry.”

“Hongjoong.” You command his attention. “I never asked you to be the perfect man, you know that.” You tell him, tears are now slowly falling from your eyes.

“But all I ever asked for is that we loved each other. I just wanted you to be yourself when we were together. I never wanted you to hold back on your feelings.”

Even if his side of story didn’t make sense to you at first, you really understand it as you remembered what he usually said when he’s this intoxicated and right now, you figured that he has a fear of real, deep intimacy because of his attachment. You observed him enough to know that he tends to get obsessive with certain things and hobbies and talking him out of it was no use, but you figured out it’s how he showed love. So you never understood why he never showed the same kind of behavior towards you too, up until now.

“You know I always asked myself, why did you push me away? Why did you never want to explore the depth of our relationship? Was it something I did? What had I done for you to be so afraid of opening it up to me? You’ve always been hot and cold. You were sweet and the most loving man for a minute but the next, you suddenly turned your back and became the coldest man I’ve known. It’s complicated.”

You let your tears fall. You’re not fully crying but if this drags on any longer then you might be.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles, shaking his head while keeping it low. “I’m so fucked up, aren’t I?” He lifts his head a bit to look at it. Only then, did you notice that his eyes are a bit unfocused but all of this talk makes him more sober than before.

“I get attached way too quickly. I pushed you away because I’m so scared that history will repeat itself. But what I had told you before, it’s the truth.” He then continues.

“I told you before, I’ll die if I don’t have you in my life. You may brushed it off as a joke but it’s true. You’re the only person who I told most things in my mind to, even if it’s so little. I knew that you’re the only one I’d need to be in my life in that way from the first time I saw you. Not during the relationship, the breakup or now.”

You’re shocked by this statement.

You didn’t take your ex boyfriend to think of you like that. You didn’t think that you left a strong impression on him but apparently, he thinks of you otherwise as you’re left to let his words soak into your consciousness.

“I’m afraid of how deep my feelings run for you. Because there were people who told me it’s suffocating that I’m like this. I’m afraid that you’ll be like that too when you no longer need me, that you’ll be burdened by how intense my emotions are.”

He looks at you like you’re the only thing in his life that matters the most to him. And you are.

He just needs another chance to make it right.

“I know I’m being so fucking selfish by keeping you around but I just need you in my life.”

With that, he lets a few stray tears escape from his eyes. As he desperately tries to find something to hold onto to find the balance in the current emotional state he’s in, you mindlessly extend your arm for him. He does, gently caressing the soft skin of your palm with both of his hands.

If he had more mind and awareness, he’d never admit that and leave you to think to connect the dots on your own. You’re not stupid but sometimes, he’s just expressing his affection in the most puzzling way possible.

He misses his sobriety, he misses being with you.

“Since we broke up, I’ve never been sober. Whenever I was, I’d need to take sleeping pills to get me to sleep because I can’t stop thinking about you.” He confesses, not to seek your sympathy but he just wants to admit this and see how much the breakup has been hard on him too.

“Why would you do that to yourself?” You ask, tears now dried but the hurt is evident in your voice.

“Because you’re not around.”

You can see how broken he is, from the wavering tone in his voice.

His eyes, now shimmering with the dried unshed tears, beg for you to say what he wanted to hear. His own self built persona breaks especially in times where he has no control over his emotions, thoughts and speech or physical movement.

“Do you know why I always let you in whenever you’re drunk like this at my door? Because… I still love you.” You then sigh, take a look at his face as you had promised yourself nights and months before that it’ll be the last time you’ll ever let him in.

“But you know that we can’t always have things our way. I care about you a lot. I can feel your love for me. But it’s tiring that I have to chase after every tiny bit of your attention.”

You pause your speech, feeling your throat turning dry as you spend the time admiring the beauty that is your ex boyfriend.

Even if he is a mess, he’s truly the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. So beautiful that you don’t think any other man you’ve seen will come close to him. Many people would have agreed with you because he’s not only physically attractive but his demeanor is unique too.

He is unforgettable. Truly magnificent.

“Don’t hurt yourself because of me anymore. I don’t think I’m worth that much of a person that you need me as a survival person.”

Hongjoong’s heart grows heavier with this phrase that left your lips. It’s really his confirmation that he’s not welcomed back into your life in the way that he longs for anymore.

“No!” His outburst surprises you. “You’re worth everything!”

“You’re all I ever need.”

The last phrase was said with a whispery tone.

“Overtime, you won’t. You’ll meet someone who can love you and need you as much as you do with me. But I can’t be that person.”

His body grows colder at this moment as the heat of the alcohol intoxication mow wears off and it slowly seeps into his system. He slowly regrets saying all of that but he knows he needs the proper talk.

You both need closure.

And you both also need to move on and forget about each other.

You knew this for a long time but now, you make up your mind to really do it.

Everything from his speech, to his scent and actions really messes with your thoughts tonight. It’s ruining you because his desperation and needs for you runs deeper than just for sex, but for emotional and psychological fulfillment.

It’s why you kept letting the doors open.

You’re usually logical and you give chances too many times. You did that and now the confessions make you reconsider every move and thing you’ve said to him. You ask yourself if you still really meant what you said.

But you’re determined. Determined to not let yourself fall into this trap of his charms and neglect again. And no matter how much it hurts you because of the hidden love you have for him that will forever be buried deep there and would go unnoticed, you also have to let him go for your own good. You can’t handle this kind of love, if that’s the treatment you receive while being in a relationship.

You have too much pride and perhaps, self respect, to go back to him like that. You’re not gonna let history repeat itself.

Silence completely falls onto you both. He feels tired as the exhaustion from both the mental battle between his heart and his head and he lets go of your arm, silently stares at your now unattended palm.

It’ll be the last time he’ll see you.

He tries to savour the moment of your presence being so close to him a little bit more by fighting his sleepiness to look at you without saying a word.

He knows that deep down, he should’ve let you go a long time ago. He has been nothing but such a nuisance to you, yet you treat him with so much kindness and care that he took your actions for granted. Now that you draw the lines, he regrets for all of the time that he does this.

His intense gaze looks at you, drinking in you and your essence. It’ll really be the last time he gets to talk to you like this, or even have the privilege to say things to you if you both bump into each other on the streets. Or even have your house architects and rooms memorized by heart.

He’ll have to pretend that you never existed.

He can do that… he used to before knowing you. Now it’ll be a task for him to not have any thoughts involving you.

His eyelids become more droopy and he finally lets himself completely pass out on your couch. You don’t have a heart to tell him to go away; it’ll really be the last time that you’ll let him walk into his place freely as an uninvited guest.

“You’ll forget all of this in the morning.” You whisper, careful not to be too loud while looking at him. “I’ll never stop loving you. I never hate you. I can’t hate you even if I tried. You’ll be staying at the back of my mind every day for the rest of my life.” And you finish it off with a phrase before you get up quietly to go to your own room to sleep.

“I don’t hope that you know that, though. You’re hard to love when you’re like this, too.”

COPYRIGHTED BY SADNIGHTFORUS, 2023

#kpop au #kpop imagines #ateez au #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #Kim hongjoong x reader #hongjoong imagines #hongjoong angst #hongjoong au #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong fanfic #hongjoong scenarios #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader

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dreadnotau · 1 year ago

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Its been a decent couple of months of productive work, so it's sadly time for a schedule change. I'll be posting pages two weeks apart again. Details provided below if you're curious as to why.

In all honesty there's no big dramatic reason this time around. I've just slowly lost drive to work on Dread Not as often and as thoroughly as I used to be able to. As I said in one of my previous posts (that sounded suspiciously like this one), I want to focus on other projects as well. One of those is my personal art blog, which I've neglected even though I've had art on the backburner that I've been meaning to post for AGES. Kingdomrune is another one of those, where I have shit I could post that I just... never did. Dread Not takes a lot of time and I miss being able to dedicate that time to consuming media instead of just grinding and trying to produce my own. One of the most important things to do as an artist is to broaden your horizons and take in as much art as you can, to diversify and expand what you know and what you can make. But, when all day every day I'm just sitting and drawing my own thing, it's like I have tunnel vision and my creative resources run dry. It's starting to feel weirdly soulless on my end, because I don't feel nearly half the inspiration to make the pages as I did when the big hiatus ended. It's all dependent on time and exposure, and I can only crunch for so long before it starts to feel damaging to me instead of fun and creatively fulfilling.

So what does this mean, practically speaking? Well, for one, I'm spacing out the page upload for the rest of Act 1, as previously mentioned. I'm well aware this will kill the pacing and it'll drag out longer than it theoretically needs to, but I'd even rather that than trying to rush out a page in the Two Days I have free this week (yeah, ONLY two days free out of the ENTIRE week. Don't ask me why it's not even my fuckin' fault this time). If pages become even more scarce than 1 page per 2 weeks, blame it on college. I'm getting new subjects and I don't even know the class schedule yet. Concerning Act 2 though, I'll be changing the structure of the pages from their core. I'll be switching to a different drawing software (probably Krita, suck my dick Photoshop) so it'll take some getting used to. I can't even promise bonus content or anything during the necessary break between acts because of that shift in software happening, I've never done a massive technical move like this. However, it'll allow me to, not only work on Dread Not better, but expand my art overall, so it's definitely worth it. I've wanted to get into animation for YEARS and Krita seems like an okay place to start (the gif on this post WAS made with Photoshop, but shitty gifs are about all I can make as animations in Photoshop). Act 2's style will, predictably, differ heavily from Act 1 and (with how long writing the dialogue alone for it is taking), it might end up being Longer than Act 1, too. Visually, it'll probably be something like cleaned up and coloured sketches, with simpler colour palettes and simpler (big airquotes) visuals overall, and it'll speed up the process and possibly allow me to post more than one page at a time. Possibly. That's not a promise.

I'm sorry if that's disappointing to anyone, but I physically can't make myself continue the current artstyle across all acts. It's just not feasible.

For those curious about the FARTHER future of Dread Not, I have plans to turn Act 3 into a series of fics rather than full comic pages, and something maybe a bit more insane for Act 4. I don't have everything figured out yet, and I don't want to make any false promises or give any grand ideas I won't be able to commit to, since only time will tell how my creativity will flow years from now. If you all want more content from me specifically, again I'm planning on reviving my art tumblr like a half buried zombie, and you'll probably see more there than you bargained for once I actually get into the habit of posting things. If you're mayhaps interested in my original stuff, keep your eyes peeled for a guy called Duro, I might start posting about him some time soon.

As always, thank you for your patience, and apologies again if this news was disappointing to anyone. I'm just one guy and this comic is a titan of biblical proportions. I'll keep you all posted on any further developments and plans for the future! Stay tuned!

#dread not #dreadnot #dread not au #dreadnotau #not comic #kris #schedule update #i was supposed to post this yesterday but then i got fucking sick #spent all day in bed hardly awake #so those two free days i mentioned in the post?#gone. just like that.#fuckin pray for me

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jennathearcher · 6 months ago

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I was tagged by the always wonderful @gellavonhamster to post four characters that make me go "my man, my man, my man!!"

(I've done an images-only version of this post previously, but I'm thrilled to elaborate on WHY I adore said characters here :P)

Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives)

(fanart credit here)

How do I begin to explain Jonathan Archivist? He's flawless :P In all seriousness, Jon is legit one of the best, most complex characters I've ever seen in media, and perhaps one of the first characters to ever make me go "THAT ONE. MINE." XD

The best part is when I first started listening to the podcast, and didn't really know WHERE it was going to go or how big the story was going to become, I had s1 Jon who is kind of an asshole and I was SO frustrated by his skepticism CONSTANTLY XD then the end of s1 rolls around, s2 illustrates a character arc that encapsulates the immediate aftermath of a severe trauma SO well, and by the end of s2, I had my ".....oh. Oh no" moment :P

Jon spends pretty much the rest of the series just GOING THROUGH IT in one way or another, and pretty consistently going "This is fine" about all of it even though he is Very Not Fine :P I want to just wrap this man in a big cozy blanket and TAKE CARE OF HIM. Because Jon goes through so much of his whole storyline.....essentially ALONE and it DRIVES ME BONKERS XD There's a point in this series where Jon has pretty much lost every friend he's ever had and it is HEARTBREAKING.

But also, his transformation throughout the series :P I don't want to go into TOO much detail here for spoiler reasons, but god. Jon has moments especially in the latter half of the series where he is SCARY. HE IS POWERFUL. AND HE IS GODDAMN SEXY :P (my bestie likes to listen to s5 episodes with me and laugh maniacally over me Losing My Shit from sheer simp-itude XD)

Also, bonus points for being a Canon Asexual 8D like me!! <3

Johnny Silverhand (Cyberpunk 2077)

Oh, Johnny, Johnny <3 I pretty much went into this game knowing he was gonna steal my heart, but even then, I was utterly unprepared for just how attached I would become :3

A lot of that is due to playing as a POV character that you essentially craft yourself from the ground up -- prime real estate for a self insert lover like myself XD And despite there being a myriad of colorful characters in the world of Cyberpunk, four of which you can romance, everyone can pretty much agree that Johnny is by far the most important character to the PC, who has the placeholder moniker of V.

The basics of the game's story are that your character, V, is a mercenary in the postapocalyptic world of 2077, and they are betrayed and nearly killed by one of their clients -- their life only being saved due to the presence of a chip they installed in their head during a job, without realizing said chip contained, essentially, the soul of Johnny Silverhand; a rock star turned terrorist who died in 2023.

The main plot of the game focuses on V's attempts to stabilize Johnny's presence in their brain, before the chip eventually overwrites their consciousness and kills them. A lot of that depends on the player's interactions with Johnny throughout the game, but as you can imagine, literally sharing a brain and body with someone can be quite the bonding experience :P

Especially because Johnny is a MESS. He's an alcoholic and drug addict who hides his supreme self-loathing behind a seemingly massive ego -- who talks a big game about his hatred of capitalism but in reality blew up the biggest conglomerate in the city because his girlfriend died (and it was his fault) and he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings.

The moments in the game when Johnny actually opens up to V are CAPTIVATING, certainly in part due to a masterful performance from Keanu Reeves :P This is one of those games that just grabs you with its immersion, and got me genuinely emotional several times during my first playthrough. (One day, I'll get the chance to play it again :P one day XD)

Plus there's also the aspect of building my own personal canon for my V and her relationship with Johnny, and all that adds up to holding a very special place in my heart :3

Gale Dekarios (Baldur's Gate 3)

I. LOVE. THIS. STUPID. WIZARD. SO. DAMN. MUCH.

Of course I jumped onto the BG3 train for Astarion and ended up falling head-over for the character I most commonly heard referred to as annoying :P

A dorky wizard you say? Who's highly autistic coded? Loves books and his cat? Strongly implied to be an abuse survivor at the hands of an older female partner? AND HE'S SUICIDAL??? I didn't stand a fucking chance :P

I just love listening to him talk so much XD and thank god because he never shuts up :P Nothing like a guy who thinks he's the smartest man in the room who is, IN FACT, very very dumb <3

And lest we forget if you keep him around until the third act of the game, he decides his new coping mechanism is SEEKING GODLY POWER like babe please calm down XD

I've done pretty much all of his possible endings so far outside of doing his origin run (aka playing through the whole game as him), and I just. LOVE HIM SO MUCH <3 I'm excited to romance him again, especially since I missed out on stuff the first time XD Every time I start a new playthrough I end up half-romancing him anyway because I CAN'T HELP MYSELF :P ultimately breaking my own heart when I have to commit to the character I originally set out to romance in the first place XD and he's always the first companion I get to the Exceptional approval level :3

that's my emotional support wizard :P and I WILL make him useful by juicing him up with all the good spells, thank you VERY MUCH XD

Black Leg Sanji (One Piece)

You all knew this was coming :P

Hey, you ever casually look at a fun pirate manga here and there as a teenager without ever really getting into it, but you know EXACTLY which character would be your fave and just kinda tuck that away in the back of your mind?

And then some odd years later, that manga gets adapted into an extremely successful and astonishingly well made live action Netflix series that is much more accessible to you than the source material?

And THEN that gets you engaging with more and more of the source material's fan content until you still haven't even watched the anime proper yet and somehow THIS has happened to you??

Anyway moral of the story is that your first instinct as to what character is going to be your favorite it always right no matter what :P OH MY GOD WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME

I just. Love him SO MUCH.

He cooks. He fights by KICKING PEOPLE REALLY HARD. Like SO hard. Hard enough that he can SHATTER CONCRETE WALLS??? WITH HIS HANDS IN HIS POCKETS LIKE HE'S ORANGE CASSIDY.

He smokes CONSTANTLY. He's ALWAYS associated with fire. He LIGHTS HIMSELF ON FIRE FOR COMBAT PURPOSES. And yet he has the most water elemental oriented soul I've EVER SEEN. (and CHRIST HOW IS HE SO FUCKING SHREDDED--)

He's 80% Leg. His EYEBROWS do the fucking THING. He's FRENCH. The extent of his post-timeskip transformation is PARTING HIS HAIR DIFFERENTLY. His name is a PUN. He is AN IDIOT and also SO SMART. He has to have 17 karmic punishments from the narrative before we ever get to his tragic backstory. His adoptive dad ate his own foot.

He's a Hopeless Romantic. He COMPLETELY FORGETS HOW TO ACT every time he so much as Sees A Woman at thirty paces. He gets so many comedic anime nosebleeds that it becomes A PLOT POINT. He has a CODE OF CHIVALRY that actually makes sense kind of (especially once you know his tragic backstory).

Lest we forget to mention that he's part of a FOUND FAMILY!!!! He has SO much love to give and his love language is all of them :P A different one for each person on the crew, as far as I can tell. With Zoro it's "the only person who's allowed to kill you is me, dammit" XD

ALSO!!!!! COME TO FIND OUT HE'S AN ACTUAL FUCKING PRINCE THAT'S JUST CASUALLY THROWN OUT THERE I JUST FLDKJAFLKDAFJLDSAF

I just. Husband Material. HUSBAND. I wanna lock that shit down SO BAD. I'm AS OBSESSED WITH HIM as he is with EVERYONE ELSE and by god I am making it the problem of all of my followers :P

tagging (with no pressure) @pink-cenobite @talesfromthecrypts @piratespencil @thebarefootking @damngoodbabysiitter @lady-phasma and anyone else who wants to do the thing!! <3

#save tag #long post

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unoriginal-and-dumb · 10 months ago

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This is just a genuine question how many hunter (toh) drawings have you done before you (I believe) lost interest? And if you still have some can you post them /nf I miss how you drew hunter (insert blue emoji sobbing)

(You don't gotta answer if you don't wanna)

Oh boy you’re asking number one loser over here for quite a lot, let me count

Ok I counted 130 things of hunter exclusively, varying from finished drawings, sketches, comics, animations, a figurine, and the occasional fake edit I made (I don’t know how to make edits it was just sensory overload on purpose)

Which 130 in what like 3 years is a fucking light work no reaction for me now I have 201 drawings of the same characters within 3 months (I AM OFF MY ROCKER! WHERE ARE MY MARBLES!)

Here’s like a timeline kind of, that pen one is the first drawing I made of him I would share more around that time but see my art capital s Sucked! The very bottom is the last drawing I made of him with was probably 3 months ago now???

Is it cringe to say this character is very important to me but I don’t like how he got did in the show.

Actuslly I’m gonna rant about it it’s my favorite activity it’s under the cut

I HATED how his character got done in the finale, don’t get me wrong it was…. I MEAN ITS AIGHT! But I first got super attached to his character when I first saw him because of the fact it was the first time I saw a character that I could relate to on a very specific level that most medias just kinda dance around or represent just. Bad. And I think it’s because of my mind immediately going oh my god I relate to this character so much that when they started representing trauma and ptsd and how that manifests I kinda got all what if I hit you with my car because it wasn’t like. Right?? I dunno I do just be hating all the time though.

I guess it was also just a sign of the show getting shortened but there was a few things I did not think were handled as well as I would’ve liked but ykno

May draw him again, yknow for the sake of it since this stupid white boy has become important to me 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤮🤢🤮

#hunter toh #toh fanart #toh

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ase-trollplays · 10 months ago

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Be the weirdo limeblood

(temporary sprite)

(Abridged bio)

Your name is Brandy Voleon, and you take offense to being called a weirdo! You're not any weirder than anyone else on Baby Murder Hell Planet, thank you very much. If anything, you're more normal than the majority of the population. Anyways, you're eleven sweeps old, and you live in a place called The Villa. You think it's a fine place to live, but all of your online friends you've told about it have described it as "if red flags were a city." Yeah, it's got its eccentricities like the normalized cannibalism and the REALTORs and the fact that no one can find this place unless they're hatched there or led there, but it's fine. There's probably weirder, more dangerous places out there.

You've lived in The Villa for essentially your whole life, but you're technically an outsider. After being orphaned at only one sweep old, you were brought there by a jade named Japhyr, and he raised you all the way until you were nine sweeps old when he was killed in a freak accident. He was a little odd and occasionally would lose himself to horrorterror influence and become unhinged and violent (One such episode leading to that big scar on your face, but it's fine), but you loved him all the same. He only ever had your best interests at heart. You still miss him.

Anyways, this is supposed to be about you! You like to think of yourself as a pretty chill guy. It takes a lot to rattle you or even make you uneasy. Living where you do, you're pretty desensitized to horror. You're also pretty passive and the type to react to things happening rather than making things happen. You can also be a little bit of a people pleaser and really clingy when you get attached to someone since Japhyr kept you pretty isolated. Most of your friends are online, but when you manage to make one in real life you give it your all.

However, just because you're a passive people pleaser doesn't mean you'll tolerate abuse of any kind. You've killed more than a few trolls who took you for an easy mark or even so much as threatened harm on your friends, and you'd do it again and again and again with no regrets every single time. As they say, "Violence isn't the answer. Violence is the question, and the answer is yes."

As a limeblood, you have emotion-based psionics. However, instead of the pacifying abilities your caste is associated with, your powers are (in your opinion) significantly less useful. By focusing on a specific person, you can feel their emotions. Not in an empathetic way, but in a quite literal way. As in, their emotions are physically felt by you. Tangibly. Anger feels like being covered in hot needles. Fear feels like static electricity. Tiredness makes your body feel heavier. Happiness makes you feel warmer. Malice feels like you're being suffocated. You get the idea. It's real neat and all, but you feel like you lost the psionic lottery.

For work, you make a living doing data entry and inventory detail for a big company. It's dull and tedious, but it keeps the bills paid, and you like all of your coworkers. However, when you need extra money or a break from the monotony of office work, you take part in trade of the "organ harvesting and selling" variety. It's how Japhyr made his way, and naturally he taught you everything he knows. Your name and face is well-known in the organ trafficking circle, but you keep that little side hustle separate from your normal life. It's important to maintain a positive image, you know?

One of your primary hobbies is studying the occult and outer beings. You initially got into it in hopes of finding a way to help Japhyr, but now that he's dead you mostly keep at it for your own amusement and because it's genuinely fascinating to you. Maybe one night you'll work up the courage to contact one of the beings you've read about. But not now.

Your lesser hobbies include stargazing and watching youtubers, specifically those who review and analyze various media like movies, tv shows, and video games. You're also in like, thirteen different discord servers and mod a couple of them. How you have the time for that much activity? Who even knows, but damn if you don't make time. Those are your friends in there!

Speaking of your friends, you used to have a twin. The two of you spent the first sweep of your lives together before being separated by chance when Japhyr found you orphaned since said twin was away from the hive at the time. However, you were so young back then that you don't really remember much about him now. All you remember is that at one point you had a twin that you lived with before living with Japhyr.

You use knifeKind for your strife specibus. Your favorite knife is your trusty tanto knife, followed by your hunting knife, followed by your switchblade, followed by... Well, let's just say you have A Lot of knives. What can you say? You like sharp pointy things.

Your trollian is mundaneAnomolies "And you 2ort of hav3 a thing for th3 numb3r 23."

Important tags:

Brandy things

Brandy answers

Brandy muses

About Brandy

#Brandy Voleon

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nyasialiveshere · 1 year ago

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love and eros may have actually been the best jdrama ever

my lovelorn for lost underapreciated japanese media may stick with me til the end of time I'm afraid. It's how unknown it is that really makes me love it even more. I actually don't know how I feel about the best art getting so little attention and being lost to time. On one hand I like it but then again I wish the people involved would have been able to get recognition. But the again it's possible the Japanese purposely didn't want their precious gems to be given to the west because it would have been changed and altered to fit a wider audience and then it would no longer be art. It would just be a product for mass consumption. I kind of want to write a whole series of my favorite J ent pieces. It's so interesting that Japan actually went out of their way many times to make sure their works wouldn't be spread to those who don't appreciate it. Anime was...as hayao miyazaki would say A MISTAKE. It's the only piece of Japanese media that became heavily focused on reaching a global audience and making a ton of money from it. It's their K-pop. Though with Anime it's just cartoon pictures being objectified and commodified but with K-pop it's people. Still both had a great effect on the economy and a terrible influence on the culture as a whole. The otaku's in Japan and the fan culture in Korea both swirled out of control and ended up having a hand in lowering the birth rate. So art truly is a powerful thing.

This work was one I actually stumbled on when I was on a j ent binge, this and a few other japanese 90s dramas really fascinated me. This one was intriguing and memorable because it was the first time I was aware that whatever Korea had continued with using idols in drama's to boost the rating Japan had most defintely started.

Nagase Tomoya was a hearthrob no doubt and it is also hard to even find someone comparable to him in the current era. In japan being an idol is just a stepping stone and everyone knows this. There aren't really leaders like in kpop. In fact it's usually the visuals that are just in charge or speak for the group. They are the front men or women and it's normal for them to be the face and do interviews alone in the group's stead. No one is ever super emotional when these visuals become actors nor is there an uproar that they are betraying the group. It's natural and they usually are asked to get into different projects because this will eventually get the group more attention in the end. Japanese groups in some cases have EXTREME longevity. Some groups lasting decades. It isn't always the case but the most popular groups it's moreso a question of dang when are they going to disband. This is because the attitude towards idols in japan is different. There are some cases where idols from fanservice heavy groups do get in trouble from dating but its' important to know in Japan it's more of a hierarchy of groups because idol culture has been around for so long. There are some groups that are more dependent on heavy fanservice to survive and there theme is catering to there fans whereas some groups are more..free. It's clear to see these differences when you see some groups that are very free and others that are very not. In korea although I see that all groups are treated like how fanservice heavy groups are in japan. No matter what age it is weird and not acceptable for them to act in romantic drama's or date. The companies and contracts pretty much all around reflect the mindset of the public towards idols. Where in recent years traditional idol culture in japan is kind of slowly dying and because of that celebs dating is seen moreso how american celebs dating. In korea strangely enough it's like things are regressing. The fanservice is becoming even more intense even though kpop is gaining global fame. More money is being made but it's being made by going super jhorror virtual boyfriend/girlfriend parasocial paralysis demon. It's quite concerning. It could be that in Japan they stopped focusing on real people who eventually would date or get married and leave idol life behind to focus on more vulnerable animated or fictional characters who really couldn't speak or fight back.

I still find it interesting to look at the cultural remains of Japan's idol industry.

I don't even want to get into the tradgedy of Johhnny's boys and what happens when young children are commodified off their looks and sex appeal from a super young age because..it speaks for itself. It was terrible what happened and I do feel that overall it's definitely what is happening in kpop but because of the current hype and popularity honestly nobody cares. Similar to how nobody cared about what was happening in america with the many disney stars who would years later open up about how the trauma they experienced being a childstar would later cause them to become drug addicts or commit self harm. People may feel sorry for them now but the truth is at the time when it was happening nobody cared and that is what made them feel so alone. It doesn't help to pity them after the fact when they have healed and gone to therapy.

Although I think it was rather unfortunate what many of child stars go through I do think the art they leave behind should be treasured even more so because of it. Tomoya was a fabulous actor and I see in him many of the current idols of today that are treasured.

I believe he was extremely lucky given that he was able to stay in a band that spanned decades and have a very successful acting career. When I watched this show not only was I interested in the plot but I also was wondering why were so many idols barred from also having similar opportunities. Some like him were able to act in various projects playing different characters but others were stuck in a box because their fans weren't interested in seeing them any differently. I believe he was such a compelling performer that it allowed him to be accepted by the public as an actor.

but I can't lie Johnny kitigawa's connectiong probably helped as well..also his face plus the fact that he aged well probably helped. Many idols get copius amounts of plastic surgery that does not age well at all

but there are still other decent looking idols that never kept up with the changing tides of the ent industry. On an old translated forum some people were arguing why he wasn't as famous as Takuya Kimura

but I think it's because the japanese love androgyny like over everything Tomoya was just a tad bit too masculine.

In this show though and others like it he starred in he was a silent brooding type so it worked. I don't want to spoil it and this isn't a review basically it's a comparasion of different types of love. Which is ..kind of genius. His character is in a eros or romantic type of love with a woman engaged to his brother. Who has a much more friendly type of love with her. It's probably a metaphor for something but..hmmh oh and it has the iconic Hosho mai

her role isn't that big she is toted as mostly just the tagalong girlfriend but really as the show progresses you start to like her more than the main love interest.

anywayz its a good show very deep if you watch it closely.

#jdrama #culture #media analysis #drama recommendation #japan #jpop #kpop theory

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britt-thats-it · 1 year ago

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Being back on tumblr is so nice. It’s like I never left (except I can’t remember everyone I used to follow/they probs left too).

(feelsies under the cut)

I only left because this couple I almost dated (who took my not dating them very hard) sort of cyber stalked me here. I kept making new accounts and they kept finding them and showing them to everyone in the scene we were all part of and following all the people I was mutuals with and it was… not cool.

Anyway, I’ve been really struggling with grief since quarantine. I had a huge falling out with my sister who I had been living with for the last 4 years. Her lack of recovery was badly interfering with my recovery and I was so deeply triggered by her behavior that I was barely functioning. I was in a constant state of flared up, in so much pain every day, even laying down was uncomfortable. I wasn’t able to eat bc my reflux was going crazy, I was starting to drink too much (something I hadn’t struggled with in years), I wasn’t sleeping. The pressure of being home together all the time took its toll.

Coincidentally, divine timing being what it is, my partner and I were spending hours on the phone every day. Just falling so in love. We’d already been together for almost a year, but her two other relationships falling apart, career change, and my chronic illness and not remembering how to be in a relationship (lol— it had been a LONG time and I was fully down to spend the rest of my life alone) kept us at a bit of a distance. We had been very close friends for a couple years beforehand, so when we took things to a romantic level, the feelings progressed quickly but we just didn’t have much time for each other. Anyway, she invited me to come stay with her. I was only planning on 2 weeks, but I literally never left. Everything just felt so easy and sweet. We handle each other with such care. Over the last 3 years my life has become a kind of stable that I’ve never (I mean NEVER) experienced. I love it and I am so grateful for it.

But I remember from my trauma-filled childhood, the survival mode of the present puts off the feelings for later. It isn’t until you have a calm moment that the feelings about what you just went through hit you.

The last 7 years hit me like an 18 wheeler. Going no contact with my family, living on the road, losing my job and being homeless, moving to nyc on a wing and a prayer, living with my sister and reliving A lot of my childhood through her behaviors, struggling through the capitalist ass New York art scene as an autistic person while also being very poor, working my fucking ass off, *just* about to hit my stride and do this fuckin career thang and boom. Covid.

I made an album, collaborated on a friend’s album, started my podcast and wrote a book. I’m in the middle of making another album. All this while feeling myself really trust someone, really learn what partnership means, really feeling like an adult, but also feeling so so wounded. The grief has been the heaviest thing I’ve ever felt. I lost myself a little bit. Insert bloody goopy chrysalis metaphor here.

I did all this but not joyfully, not really. Something was missing.

I have been trying, in the last few months, to unironically find my bliss again. I lost my sparkle, I lost my drive. I really feel like I experienced my own metaphorical death. I was anxious and raw, I second-guessed every interaction because I felt like I didn’t know how to be a person. I was completely sober!! Just fucking raw dogging life!!! I was scared all the time. I forgot my passions, I forgot my purpose. I still worked on stuff, I still created (a lot that I’m proud of!!) but idk I just wasn’t the same free-spirited confident lil powerhouse I came to know myself to be.

I think I gave too much on other social media. I think I was too vulnerable and too available and it got me into trouble. I think I confused work for life and I soured my own creation process for me. It became too important. Every hobby, every passion became kindling for money making or making “it” or whatever. I forgot how to have fun. I burnt myself out.

I recently started remembering hobbies I had that I never shared with anyone irl. Exercise/weight lifting, which I picked back up again in February, slowly testing the waters to see if my disordered relationship to it would return, it didn’t. Feeling myself getting stronger being exactly what I needed (literally and metaphorically) and all the good stuff that does to my confidence. Playing music just for fun, just sitting down with an instrument and playing 😫 locking myself in a room and flitting around like a mad scientist creating something I love 😫 dancing 😫 meditation 😫 journaling 😫 pulling tarot cards just for me 😫 and finally, longing for connection of some sort; for actual vulnerability and not people just fucking marketing themselves all the time— I remembered how much tumblr helped me. How much it inspired me. How it helped me become the person who made all those scary changes, who learned who I am and learned how to walk away. So much good came from that decade I spent here, so I decided to come back.

It’s exactly what I needed.

#I am finding myself again #life is just a spiral #here we go round again #personal #feelsies

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intrepidradish · 2 years ago

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Media: Dragon Ball Z

Year/my age: 2002/12

What drew me to the media:

I came home from highschool everyday and had a small tv with a built in vhs in my closet. It was 4:30pm and toonami was on Cartoon Network. I watched the entire Cell Saga and Majin Boo like a fiend. It was a shitton of episodes! Ugh. It's almost impossible to watch all the way through now, but maybe because as an adult I want like...more plot motivated writing. One of the best fanfic foder aspects of DBZ is that so much is left open to interpretation. I didn't question the filler episodes as a kid. I just liked all the muscles and screaming. The animation/manga style remains super duper fun. But mostly I found DBZ memorable because of Vegeta. I got truly invested in him as a character, because for most of DBZ, he really lets you down. I think TV shows love to harp on tropes for children, ie the bad man becomes a good man and all his values change to match the good characters *sparkles*, because they think morally those are the stories that should be told to children. Which is sad, honestly. Vegeta doesn't fall into that arc. He remains...kind of a bitch... and his character arch is fantastic and long and hard and he fucks up a lot and he doesn't really apologize for any of it. This was amazing to see as a preteen. Teaching failure to a child is really hard, and I think that America's school system is really bad at even attempting to. But failure is super important. Because all of life that child cum adult is going to fail, and its going to suck.

What made me a fan:

In college, I did another pass of DBZ, and whoa, developing adult horny brain really went into spiral knots wondering...so what the fuck... Bulma and Vegeta... had sex? They made a child. They made Trunks. So they had sex, right? I think this is pretty common a reaction. And as soon as you think that, well... the next step is... 'wait wait wait, how did they have sex? why did they have sex? what did that even look like?' And that's what sends you scouring the internet at 1am in your underwear (covertly, because you're in a dormitory with three other roommates).

I wish I could put to language what is it about romance that sends people into fandom holes. Romance is really important to fandom. I think it has something to do with how regimented relationships are in mass media. They aren't diverse. Most main stream romance is very streamlined and never gets into the messy odd bits without being labeled as some kind of edgy cusp drama. I don't know. But relationships seem to be the spring board for fandom hijinks. I'm all about it. I'd rather have fake blorbo relationships in my brain to obsess over than the real world. That shit gets you into trouble.

Oh god, and what an indicator of future dispositions. If you get into the Vegebul fandom, a lot of them are rape stories (because god forbid, a woman could want a shitty asshole alien man to bone at night. Bulma has her own set of problems, specifically with vanity being high up there). But yeah they were hot and I was pretty ashamed about the whole thing.

I was such a baby then.

Have I written fanfiction for it?

YES. One winter vacation, I wrote a 40 page fanfiction. This was probably in 2010? It was UNFINISHED, but I was incredibly sweaty the entire time, trying to build up to a spanking scene. (Yes, 40 pages of build up for spanking. I'm embarrassed for myself.) My computer crashed and the entire document was corrupted. My first fanfic was lost. RIP

Opinion on the fandom:

Pretty chill. I didn't interact with it much besides reading secretly. Originally, I was reading on fanfiction.net. When I came back to it years later (once again after college, I got my husband into it) I was reading fanfic for it on Ao3. I run into other Vegebul's periodically. They are all in their late twenties, early-late thirties. I follow someone here on tumblr that wrote this fantastic long series (100+ chapters) called Pillow Talk which is on Ao3. It's fucking incredible about showing the ups and downs, ins and outs of their relationship, because they do wind up together in canon (which is wild).

The most recent interaction I had was in the kink community, which was like *sigh* 'god, we are so fucking predictable, aren't we?' We had a good laugh! But he was trans masc too, chilling in a femme body, so we clicked right away about it.

I also remember I had an annoying conversation with my stepbrother once about tattoos. I don't have any, so they were asking why I don't. I said "If I started to get tattoos it would be a slipper slop before I start making bad decisions like getting a full Vegeta arm sleeve." Their mouths twisted in that judging you face and said "yeah don't do that." Like...ahem. My point exactly.

I think people get pretty judgy in general about Vegebuls because its a 90s kid's show, and its not a very good one. But being a Vegebul is kind of like... realizing your parents have sex. It's part of 'coming of age'.

Would I participate again:

Hell yeah, I would. Once a Vegebul always a Vegebul. The biggest hurdle for me would be catching up on all the new material. I watched Dragon Ball Super and found it lackluster. GT was so bad, I cannot. Something that's commonly an issue for me is the amount of subject material required to understand a story in fanfiction. I'll get into it later with other fandoms, but if the lore gets too big, I suddenly don't know how to participate.

Master post

#my personal take

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lucy4ukyutie · 2 years ago

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Why old fans sometimes don't like* reboots of childhood shows

*or we may like them, but less than the original. Also, it isn't like that for all reboots, all types of media, and, of course, all fans.

Popular opinion: it's because we are racist/homophobic/xenophobic or all of that and in that order.

Unpopular opinion:

More often than not, they mess up with our nostalgia and crush our dreams. A franchise you loved, which may have meant a lot to you, left you craving for more... of THAT. You still wanted to see more things being added to that world (and yeah, more inclusion and representation was often one of them), but not CHANGED. An expansion or a continuation is positive mostly, but changes are very hard to accept, because it means something you liked won't be like that anymore. And reboots sometimes make HUGE changes which even deny/eliminate important things of the original series.

The changes often come out of the blue. They aren't like "that's how it should have always been" but more like "how does that fit in the world/character we already know and love???"

We can see how they (well, most modern media) exploit the youth's yearn for identification/representation to make more money out of their reboots. They put a tag on themselves saying "we have the diversity you want" and insert all possible minorities' stereotypes in only 4 characters (which didn't have such identity before, btw, so it's a new change you'll have to accept). So they think they are giving you representation, when actually all they're giving you is a Harry Potter house for you to get into without going much further instead of actually adding worthy characters which might as well portray parts of someone's identity (sexual orientation, race, etc) that weren't portrayed before. This I actually find offensive and/or irritating, because it gets so unrealistic or evident that it becomes so obvious that they're doing it as a marketing strategy, to profit from people's desire to identify themselves with smth (*especially tweens/teens*) and not to dig into and appreciate a different perspectives and so.

On a similar note, the characters' personality tend to be more "plain" since they want everyone to be able to self-insert themselves into the characters. This is also common in a lot of modern audiovisual media directed to young people, because of the same point I made above (ejhm, dirty marketing). In a reboots' case, it can feel like the characters fall short.

The story loses its "magic" or "fantasy/fictional vibe" to make it more modern and thus appeal to younger audiences. Lots of things can cause that imo. Making stories in modern settings... Making the story darker... Addressing real life problems without adapting them to the fantasy world... Making clothes too normal... Even just adapting an animation into a live action can have this effect. When the original vibe is somewhat lost or the "meaning" becomes less universal and more specific to real problems of some communities, the fiction starts becoming less fictional (and again, less like you remember, making it harder to like). It isn't an escape anymore. Cartoons from our childhood are a way of escapism for us now, even if it's just an escape from modern media (bc you don't like it too much or prefer the one you grew up with). And reboots rarely give us that.

Tu sum up: (sometimes, some old fans) would rather see a kind of continuation with meaningful additions or straight up a new show rather than a reboot which rewrites the whole show to the point it doesn't feel like *og series name* anymore.

#reboot #childhood shows #don't hate me for this #I repeat it's not like that for everyone #and not all reboots are like that #but I just want people to realize it is not always bc we are racist #some of us are just nostalgiccc

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jhagg64 · 2 years ago

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Why You Need To Be Different in Marketing Your Business

DARE TO BE DIFFERENT?

So you’re starting or running a company. You know your product is amazing, and so you get to work telling everyone about it.

You are not alone in this effort. There are thousands of businesses out there with amazing products just like yours. And they’re all trying to get their customers’ attention too, right? So how do you make your business stand out?

Here are three reasons why it is important to be different in marketing your business:

1. People will remember you more quickly if you stand out from the crowd.

2. If you can describe your business in just a few words, their ears will perk up.

3. People won’t feel like they’re getting the same message over and over again (and they’ll be more likely to listen).

HOW TO STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD, DIFFERENTIATE YOURSELF FROM OTHERS.

How to differentiate your business for attention

Step 1: Take a look at some of our favorite brands.

Step 2: Check their social media feeds.

Step 3: Notice that they all have one thing in common: they’re doing something totally different. They don’t look like anyone else, they don’t sound like anyone else, and they don’t act like anyone else. This is why we love them so much!

So how do you become one of these cool kids?

Simple. Look at what everyone else is doing and do the opposite—that’s it! But if you need a little more inspiration, here are a few ways to start thinking about how to make your brand stand out from the crowd.

Find your voice – Think about what makes your company special, and talk about that stuff! There’s no point in copying other brands because you want people to remember YOU, not THEM. So find what makes you unique, and run with it. Your logo should reflect this too—if it can’t stand on its own without text next to it then maybe you need another designer? Just kidding (kind of). Don’t be afraid to get weird either—the best brands always push the envelope in at least one way.

Let your freak flag fly. If you don’t want to be lost in the crowd, you gotta let your freak flag fly. You don’t have to go big if you don’t want to, but you do have to be true to yourself and your brand—that way people get a sense of who you are and what you stand for as soon as they see you.

Be bold, even if it’s not in your nature. If your natural tendency is to keep things simple, add a pop of color or a little glitter to your look. If you’re already full-on sparkle and shine, try dialing it back with some simple cuts and classic patterns. The point is not that one style is better than another—it’s that whatever style or identity you choose, be bold about it! People will take notice.

Change up your routine. If people are used to seeing your face in the same place at the same time every day, change it up! They might not notice right away—the human mind is pretty good at ignoring things that seem like they shouldn’t be there—but eventually they’ll see that something’s different.

WHY PROSPECT ENGAGEMENT MATTERS.

Imagine you’re at a concert. You’re at the front of the stage and you can see the performer’s sweat glistening in the light, you can tell exactly how hard they’re working to put on a show for you, you can hear every note of the music and feel it vibrate through your chest.

Now imagine you’re in the back of a very large room, where there’s a faint buzz from some speakers. You can’t really see anything going on—just some shadows moving around on a foggy stage. The music isn’t quite loud enough to make out any individual notes.

Prospect engagement is what happens when your customer is in that front-row seat, instead of the back of the auditorium.

1) Make it easy for them to interact with you. Include a call-to-action on every piece of content you publish, and make sure it’s clear and actionable!

2) Make your audience feel like they’re a part of something bigger than themselves by tapping into their emotions and desire for community.

3) Use humor—people love witty jokes or puns (think of the Old Spice commercials). Just be careful not to offend anyone with sensitive topics like politics or religion.

You need your prospect to take action!!

SO HOW DO YOU GET YOUR PROSPECT TO TAKE ACTION?

The secret to getting your prospect to take action is…

Make them feel something!

Feelings are incredibly powerful. They can make us feel like we can conquer the world, and they can also paralyze us with fear.

My favorite quote of all time is from Neale Donald Walsch: “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

Advertising is so much more than just a nice little jingle or a cool slogan. It’s about making people feel something—inspiring them to be different and take action.

When you’re creating anything, whether it’s a product, an ad campaign, or the next great Australian novel, you have to think about what you want your reader to feel. Is it anger? Sadness? Fear? Or is it happiness? Joy? Peace? Curiosity? Excitement?

Whatever emotion you want to stir up in your prospect, that’s what should drive your work. If you don’t know how you want your audience to feel, then how will you ever know when you’re done with your project?

Understanding what emotions drive people will make all the difference for whatever you’re working on, because people don’t just buy products—they buy how products make them feel.

If you want your prospect to take action, use their feelings as a tool! Make them feel like they absolutely HAVE to act NOW or else they’ll miss out on an incredible opportunity, make them feel like this is their LAST chance to get in on the best thing since sliced bread.

HAVE A CLEAR CALL TO ACTION

A lot has been written on the subject of CTA’s (calls to action) throughout the centuries. In his epic poem “The Iliad,” Homer describes a well-known CTA of the time, “Achilles, slay Hector!” Hippocrates, in his work titled “On Ancient Medicine,” says “If you have a fever and are feeling ill, ask your physician for an antidote.”

And yet, despite all this information available, there still seems to be some confusion about how to write a good CTA. What we’re looking at here is not so much the best strategic approach—that’s going to depend on your audience and your goals—but rather the best way to write a convincing CTA that will get your prospect excited about taking action.

Calls to action (CTAs) are like the instructions for your prospect. Without them, it’s hard to know what to do next.

So how can you make sure your CTAs are clear? Here are some tips:

1. Keep it simple. “Click here” or “Learn more” are good examples of simple CTAs that are easy to understand.

2. Make it stand out. Bolding or underlining your CTA will help readers notice it right away.

3. Say it with a button. Buttons are great for CTAs because they’re easy to see, and they look clickable.

Not all of the mechanisms suggested above will work effectively on all prospects, but you have to test what works for your prospect.

If you’re going to take a stand and be different, make sure it stems from your unique story and how you can benefit the client. If you just blindly follow others, there’s no point in being in business. Get noticed, be heard, and do what it takes to find success in your business.

To quote a great American entrepreneur Mike Michalowicz “Better Isn’t Better, Different Is Better”

Let me know, what you think, comment below or just drop us a line..

Dedicated To Your Marketing Success

John

#marketing #onlineadvertising #digitalmarketing #unique selling proposition

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goldxnfemme · 1 year ago

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If you're thinking to yourself "omg it's always racism with you guys 🙄" yeah, guess what, it's because it usually FUCKING IS, intentional or not. And the people who say this kind of shit, most of the time only say it because they don't know/haven't been through our experiences. I'll mention regardless though that even amongst people of colour we experience racism in different ways.

Throughout my whole life and abundantly obvious in my adult life, the feelings of white people receiving criticism have been seen and treated as much more important than mine and other poc's experiences, I've lost count of how many times it's happened. It's like if I hypothetically said someone is being racist and they and everybody else gets upset at me for pointing it out instead of looking at the actual racist action, like "I can't believe you'd call me racist (continues acting like a racist), how dare you?" And everybody else like "yeah, how dare you???"

Or in a simpler example somebody saying they feel unsafe and everybody being more upset for and having more empathy (white people almost always seem to have an easier time having empathy for other white people than poc. Easier to put yourself in their place, huh?) for the person that made someone else feel unsafe than looking at how they might've acted that made somebody feel unsafe. And, of course, there's a racial bias here, because if somebody says they feel unsafe around poc or that a person of colour did something to them, they tend to get coddled and validated, when a poc says they feel unsafe around a white person, then they're the villain for merely saying they feel unsafe, they're making things up, they're being too dramatic, they're trying to create problems, they're trying to vilify people. You get what I mean?

I keep seeing that happen on social media, especially tiktok and you may think "ah it's tiktok, it doesn't count" and uh, your particular dislike for a social media doesn't represent its effect on society and how much a general population is influenced by the users there.

The feelings of how somebody might be perceived, if they're white, seem to be treated as MUCH more important than how they might've acted. And this behaviour is constantly reinforced.

I'll end it here, because my urge to try and soften my speech to once again make myself more palatable has been annoying me: trying to justify how actions don't equal moral or are inherently unchangeable blah blah blah, it's obvious, doesn't need to be said. I want to be taken seriously without having to police myself and to be "nice enough" to be given a chance. If I weren't being nice, my point would still stand.

back to the performative allyship: if you got defensive, it might be the case that you value, especially non white, marginalized groups, if we're quiet, nice, docile and don't ever speak up, letting you speak for us, because if not then we become too much trouble to be supported, I guess.

And furthermore if people get defensive:

"Literally just taking a step back and looking around you gives you space not to take all these things personally so you can take in the critique on culture and society and strive to be the person the more marginalized folks in your life need you to be" - a very dear friend of mine who has far more patience than I do here.

- signed a disabled, lesbian, nonbinary, latina of colour

I think I need more time to put in digestible, palatable and "non offensive" words my feelings about people's performative allyship.

For starters, the fact that I (and other poc in general) have to make myself nice, non threatening and overly concerned with my wording just to get a chance to be heard about whatever is absolute bullshit, but it keeps fucking happening lol

The funny thing is, at the end of the day, most of the time, it ultimately doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I'm diplomatic, which most of the time I am, overly so in my opinion, it doesn't matter if I'm nice, kind, respectful, careful, consistent, trustworthy in my track record, when put against a white person's argument, in my and other poc's experiences, throughout our whole lives, the white person will be listened to much more than us, a lot of the time we won't even be given a chance.

Saying you support intersectionality and in any situation the white person is the first one you run to, you check on, idk you know...

It's pretty fucking frustrating. And I think most of the time people don't notice that they do that, especially because it's so deeply rooted in them, which really doesn't fucking excuse it, but I guess sometimes folks aren't aware of how they're conditioned to contribute and reinforce white supremacy, and they simply don't examine their actions enough because thinking you're doing the right thing is enough instead of analysing your behaviours, right? 🙃

Having to make ourselves palatable just to have a chance to be heard is exhausting. Because either we're the overly dramatic and aggressive poc or the lying poc or the creates problems and starts fights poc or the too loud poc like y'all keep falling for the stereotypes, not even falling for, jumping eagerly to stereotypes, there's no way we can win.

It's rare for me to see poc being taken seriously as people would a white person in the same position, without someone finding a way to invalidate or overly scrutinise their point. Because scrutiny intensely comes for people of colour and people in multiple marginalised groups, it has never been a neutral tool.

And as a society, we've definitely normalized that and have gotten too comfortable with not even considering questioning it.

Idk how to end this, I'm just tired and tired of saying "do better" too, because at some point, it feels like begging. People of colour shouldn't have to be reminding you of this all the time, seriously.

#b discusses racism #btexts #long post #though tbh I'm almost never taken seriously even by my doctors so i shouldn't be surprised

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poppy-metal · 4 years ago

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Omg for the eremin x reader au, so Eren and Armin got together way before the reader joined the equation, so she’s hella insecure and shy around them even though they love her you know? Which leads to her distancing herself from them because they don’t need her anyway, right? Just imagine the soft and hot heated make up session they had once the boys find out that their princess feels like she’s not that important to them.

please. gonna make it a part two this

Cw: eren is mean at the beginning but he makes up for it <3 smut, the usual.

you becoming armins girlfriend but it leaving an empty feeling in your chest because you like eren too, knows how he looks at you and wishes he would just act on it. he’s there when armin fucks you, when armin makes you cream all over his cock, and sometimes he’ll join in, but he rarely touches you, the closest he’s gotten is holding you against his chest and spreading your legs for armin to fuck into you. you’d been turned on but also jealous of the way eren had leaned over the lock armin in a kiss, their tongues tangling, wishing you could kiss him.

It comes to a breaking point when eren displays his possessiveness again, hating how much armin is falling in love with you and how much he wants you too. He uses your desire to please him against you, makes you sit on a chair and watch as he fucks armin. They look so hot together, but it makes you feel a little squirmy on the inside, not being able to participate. And its made even worse when eren turns armins jaw so he’s looking at you, tells him “look at your little girlfriend watching you get your ass pounded, baby. tell her how good your daddies cock feels”

Armin, lost in the pleasure, of course doesn’t know any better. Looks at you with big blue puppy eyes as eren fucks his tight little hole and moans, “d-daddies cock feels so good inside me”

“Bet she wishes she could feel it” eren grunts. “Your girlfriends a little slut who wants your boyfriends cock, sweetheart, just look at her drooling over it. You wanna be armin, baby?”

You squeeze your thighs shut and dont answer. But eren knows, “Yeah, you do. Wanna feel what he feels every night when i slide my fat cock into his little boypussy. Desperate slut, wanna remind me what a real cunt feels like? hm?”

Armin whimpers under him, curling his legs around eren and dragging him down for a kiss. Eren keeps eye contact with you when he pushes his tongue into armins mouth, fucks him through his orgasm and coos in his ear, “that’s it baby, come for daddy, be my good little girlfriend and show me yours is the only wet hole i need”

Armin doesn’t know what eren has done, doesn’t know he’s pushed you away with just that line. Thinks this was all just kinkplay, and he’s so sweet. Making grabby hands for you and offering to get you off, tugging you towards his face, but you pull away.

When you leave that night, flicking a glance at the bed where eren cradles armin to his chest, watching you go with his jaw clenched, you send a message to armins phone, before blocking them both on all forms of media.

‘I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry’

You don’t know about the explosive fight that occurs between armin and eren the next day. Armin has never been more angry, and it makes eren backpedal, try to hold him but armin just slaps his hands away. Tells eren he loves you and he knows eren likes you too so why is he so mean?

Eren can do nothing but clench his teeth together and stare at the ground as he admits he doesn’t want to lose armin, and doesn’t want to need anyone else but him. Armin reminds him he’s okay with armin needing you, so armins okay with eren needing you too. He wants eren to want you, has timdily encouraged eren touching you or having sex with you a couple of times, but never psuhed it, though he notices erens lingering stares on you.

Eren feels horrible, for pushing you away, for making you leave armin, for making you leave him. He just wanted armin to be happy, he didnt expect to want to make you happy too, or to want to open his arms to you. He knows he has to make it right, not just for armin but for him too.

-----

When you come out of your workplace, you don’t expect to see eren there, nor do you really want to. He’s leaning casually against the back of his car, smoking a cigarette, but he puts it out when he sees you, crushing it under one of his combat boots. He looks sheepish.

“Hey-”

You don’t give him the time of day though, breezing by him. You don’t have a car so you planned on walking to the bus station. Usually armin came to pick you up, but considering you’d basically ended things with him, you hadn't expected any rides anymore.

“Hey” Eren says again, and this time he’s right behind you, hand grabbing your arm to stop you. He turns you to him. “We need to talk”

You wish he wasn’t so pretty. You let yourself look at him, his stubble, his jade green eyes, the boyish way his hair falls into his eyes. But you shake your head. “No, we dont. You made that clear”

You pull away from him and start walking again. “Armin misses you” He calls out, but you don’t stop.

“I miss you.”

Okay, you stop at that. Don’t turn around though. You hear his footsteps approach, feel his warmth at your back as he stops, too close. “I miss you” He says again. “Come with me?”

You turn to look at him again, “Why should i? You miss me? You don’t even like me, jaeger. If you hated me being with your boyfriend so much why did you even ask me too?”

He bites his lip, shifts on his feet and you can tell his uncomfortable. You’d gathered awhile ago that he wasn’t good with emotions. Tough shit. If he wanted you to get in his car, he’d need to explain some things.

He puffs out his cheeks and palms the back of his neck, and to your surprise, there is a rosy blush that starts to bloom on his cheeks. You don’t think you’ve ever seen eren blush. “I don’t like sharing what’s mine. And armin is mine” He says that with finality.

You nod your head, starting to turn again. “Right-”

He catches you again. “But so are you” His gaze traps you.”I let you be armins because i thought i wouldn’t care, he still belongs to me, and i belong to him and you...weren’t supposed to belong to anyone. I didn’t want you too”

You naw at your bottom lip, dipping your head, wondering where he’s going with this.

“But you do” He breathes out, making you look up again. His eyes are sharp, serious. “You belong to armin, you’re his girlfriend and he’s not letting you go, if i hadn’t come today he’d be here on his hands and knees begging for you to come back. and...what’s his is mine so..”

“So..?” You prod, breathless.

“So you’re mine” He concludes. “Ours. I really wanna fuck you”

The last part is said so casually you jerk, but eren keeps you steady. Pulls you in. Leans down and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Let me bring you back with me” his lips brush against yours. “So i can finally fuck my girlfriend”

You do in fact let him bring you back.

---

It’s surreal being between armin and eren, having them both touch you. You’re used to armins touch, but erens is new. You’re all shaky and acting like a skittish virgin when eren leans back against the headboard, lazily stroking his cock as armin fingers you open for him.

His soft lips at your ear, “You take my cock so nice, baby. But daddy’s big. He’s gonna stretch you so good”

“Keep talking about my big dick and im gonna nut before i even get to fuck her” Eren grunts, eyes glued to wear armins slender fingers are sliding in and out of your slick cunt.

Armin just giggles “But s’true, daddy. You’re gonna split her wide open. She’s tight too” He croons, making you whimper when he curls his fingers just right. “Had her pretty pussy all to myself for so long and she still squeezes my cock, You’ll like it”

Eren eyes are all heat, eating you up. “Oh, i know i will. Daddy’s been wanting to fuck that cunt for ages”

“S’that so?” Armin sounds a little condescending, having not been apart of their fight, you can’t tell he’s being kinda petty when he says. “Gonna have to show my girlfriend how much you appreciate her then, if you want her to be your girl you’ll have to make her cum lots, kay? Otherwise im keeping her for myself and you can sit there and watch like you always do while i show her how a good boyfriend fucks their girlfriends pussy”

He dips his lips to kiss your jaw, keeping eye contact with eren when he does. “If daddy doesn’t make you cum stupid, i’ll dump him”

Your cunt squeezes around his fingers at the same time eren growls and reaches out, practically plucking you from armins arms and placing you above him.

You brace your hands on his board chest as the tip of his thick cock teases your hole, “w-wait”

“Mm, fuck that” He moans, and pops the head in, eyes fluttering shut and rolling into the back of his skull when your the heat of your fluttering cunt envelops him, silky and smooth and wet, he guides you down the thick length of him. His head thunks against the headboard. “Jesus, fuck”

“E-eren” you whine, poor pussy squeezing around him helplessly as its stretched wide and filled to the brim with him.

He bounces you once, making you choke on a whimper. “That’s not what we call me”

Your eyes fill with overwhelmed tears, but you feel armins lips touch your spine as he kisses your back, encouraging you. “Go on, baby”

You wrap your arms around erens neck. “D-daddy” you say, hesitantly, barely breathing the word.

But eren groans so loud, and eats your lips up in a kiss, rocking you back and forth on his cock, grinding you on it. “Yeah, baby” he pants into your open mouth. “Daddy’s got you. Gonna fuck my sweet little girlfriend tight pussy like she deserves”

“About fucking time you did” you think you hear armin mutter, but you’re already to fucked out to care.

#ask #armin arlert smut #eren jaeger smut #armin arlert x reader #eren jaeger x reader

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finelinevogue · 3 years ago

Note

Can you write something about when Harry and Y/N broke up but fans speculate that they got back together and they did get back together. They broke over something stupid, please. You don’t have to do this exactly it can be something like that.

let’s see how this turns out! hope it’s what you wished for?!

The last few months had been rough.

What had started as rumours of a breakup between everyones favourite couple, you and Harry, had turned into an actual breakup.

It had started by Harry spending more time with Olivia, due to press for Don’t Worry Darling. They were always hanging out with each other, even when there was no publicity stunt telling them to. You found it appropriate at first, wanting the movie to gain some form of reputation, but after a while you believed it turned South. It was becoming a definite friendship and not just because they had to. It was the way that Harry would bring Olivia over for dinner without checking with you first, or taking the dog for a walk with her not you, or even staying longer out on stunts than they needed to just because they wanted to.

So you challenged Harry on it. Hell, even the tabloids were challenging you both - claiming Harry had split from you for Olivia. You made him question whether he thought his actions were irresponsible and appropriate or not, to which he thought there was nothing wrong and thought you were being irrational. You didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day, only to find him later on the phone speaking to Olivia about how crazy you’d been acting about it all. So you showed him crazy and walked out.

Until today.

For over a half a year your sister had her wedding planned and Harry was supposed to be your guest. You were nervous about turning up without him, because your family were very judgy. Your sister couldnt help being the smarter and the prettier one, but she also didn’t have to parade it around so everyone knew of it. Your mum and dad thought you a disappointment for the longest time, but once you’d gotten a job and had moved out they were a bit more loving over you. Still didn’t hide the fact they desperately hoped for you to have a relationship. It wasn’t that you were bringing Harry along to prove that someone loved you, but more to prove that they would never fully be satisfied whether you had a boyfriend or not. There would always be a podium stand slightly lower for you to stand on.

However, they didn’t know about the breakup.

“Y/N, nice to see you. Where’s Harry?” Another guest asked you, relatives of your mum. It was the same question over and over again, no one really caring about how you are but instead whether you’re in a positive relationship.

“Oh um I think he’s just running a bit late.” Was your chosen answer to respond to said question. It was repetitive, but it kept people off your back.

The wedding was completely beautiful. It was in a beautiful church and was decorated to perfection. The theme was white and royal blue, something your sister had always dreamed of. Children played amongst the pews and family relatives mumbled to each other about gossip. There was still a heavy sadness to the event. Maybe it was because your sister hadn’t asked you to be a bridesmaid - instead, choosing her best friends instead - or maybe it was because you missed Harry so much.

He’d fucked up. He really had, but it didn’t take away that burning passion for him that spread like a wildfire in your belly. You missed him. You still loved him. Worst of all, you had to pretend everything was all alright in front of your family when actually you were breaking apart inside.

Harry hadn’t messaged saying that he was or wasn’t coming, but after everything that had happened you were confident he was going to be a no show, and you would be the embarrassment of the family once again. Your relationship had been very private and exclusive, but Harry’s fans were so investigative you wouldn’t be surprised if they knew that you’d broken up and were aware that you were at a wedding today without him. Neither of you had made a public statement about your breakup, but neither of your wanted to damage each other even more. Fans suspected though and rumours travel fast.

“Y/N how are you doing? How’s Harry?” Another aunt came and asked you, this time with your mother in tow.

“Oh he’s great, yes.” You smiled forcefully, not actually having a clue how your ex-boyfriend was doing. You didn’t keep up with his social media because you were afraid of what you might find.

“Where is he? Is he here?” Your aunt asked.

“He’s late, apparently.” Your mother answered for you, sneeringly. “You’ll be made a fool of if he’s a no show Y/N.”

“I know.”

“I hope everything goes well for you both.” Your aunt kindly said, before waiting for your mum to say something nice too. That was a mistake though.

“Well it’s unlikely she’ll find someone again!” Your mother laughed and pulled your aunt away from you. You furrowed your eyebrows and let your heart sink low.

What were you thinking, letting Harry go like that? Your mum was right, you were never going to find anyone else again. You were so lucky with Harry. He was so kind and so patient with you, but obviously he’d run out of steam towards the end. It doesn’t surprise you. You’ve always been told you’re a mighty handful and you need a lot of work put into looking after you, so you understand why you were probably too much for Harry. The showbiz life had never really been something you’d completely submerged yourself into, whereas you guess for Olivia it was rooted in her from birth. She understood Harry’s world the same way he did hers. They would match perfectly for each other, if that’s what they wanted.

You watched the room continue as usual, but you couldn’t keep yourself here. There was too much sadness welling deep within you that you wanted to just run and then keep running. So you did, only to get as far as the bench in the front courtyard. The outside felt calmer and more freeing than inside, you sat and absorbed it for a while, not realising that you were crying until your pretty multicoloured dress had grown darker with a pool of your tears.

“Shit.” You tried rubbing the tears out, but only made you cry a little harder. You thought about your makeup running and tried to compose yourself, fanning your face to calm it down from the heat now.

“And here I was thinking weddings were supposed to be happy.”

You stopped fanning your face to look at him. You couldn’t believe he was standing there, dressed in a beautiful white suit and salmon pink shirt underneath to compliment the colours of your dress - the outfit that you’d helped him pick out over a year ago. He’d remembered. He trusted that you’d still be wearing this dress. He was a sight alright. A vision of beauty and love.

“Harry?” You questioned, wiping your under eyes to clear away any running mascara, not quite believing he was standing there.

“So what was it? Bad music playing? No vodka? Or maybe there’s nowhere for you to escape to go read the book I know you have stuffed away in your clutch bag.” He stood at a distance from you, hands in his trouser pockets, to make sure you were comfortable.

“I brought vodka instead of the book.” You chuckled, reaching into your clutch to prove it to him.

“Lucky for you, i’ve come to save the day.” Harry reached to the inside of his blazer pocket and pulled out a Kindle. You’d always been debating whether or not to buy one, because the feeling of having a book to turn its’ physical pages is a feeling second to none. “Take it, it’s yours.”

Harry handed it out to you and you stood up to reach for it hesitantly. Harry assured you that it was okay and that you’d been reading too many books if you thought it was a trap of some sort.

“Thank you, Harry.” You spoke sincerely. You stroked your thumb over the cover and turned the case lid over to start up the screen. The screen lit up and it was set to a picture of your favourite quote, annotated just as you would have in your own book. You chuckled and let a few tears drop from the kindness of all of this.

“And then…” Harry unlocked the Kindle with your birthday as the password, before clicking on the library so you could discover what was waiting for you on your virtual shelves. Harry had downloaded all your most favourite books, whilst also downloading the ones he knew had been on your to-be-read list. He’d even added a few of his favourite books too, just because you liked reading his recommendations.

You smiled, but felt so lost.

“W-why are you here, H?” You asked, closing the lid and bravely looking up into his enchanting eyes. You had to control yourself not to comment on how wondrous they looked.

“To save the day.” He chuckled in repeat, until he knew you weren’t taking that for an answer. “Because I fucked up. Big league time.”

“Yeah.” You whispered, looking down at your shoes to see that they weren’t that far apart at all. He was so close to you, yet he wasn’t yours to catch.

“And i’ll never forgive myself for letting you walk out of that door. The promotion shit with Olivia? Done. I’ve finished. I explained that the movie isn’t as important to me as you. You,” Harry paused to breathe out, and took the risk of guiding your jaw up to meet your gaze with his soft hand, “you are real Y/N. You’re so important and key to my life and it bloody terrified me, still does actually, to think that you make me feel this way. I want everything with you. Marriage, kids, a home. A life. I was so worried I would screw it all up, though, to the point where I did screw it all up. I lost you and so I lost me. It’s selfish of me to ask whether any part of your heart still wants me, but—”

“Yes.” You quickly interjected before he could say something he’d later regret. “There is, yes.”

“R-really?” He stumbled over his response, not expecting you to react so soon but his words had got to you. His feelings were vulnerable and raw and it reminded you of how much you love him and feel safe with him.

“Why? Would you like me to say different.” You teased.

“No,” Harry rushed, stepping closer towards you, “God now. Stay, please. Forever, if you’ll have me?”

“I can deal with forever.” You leaned up to where his lips were, craving the taste of them against yours so badly. “Can I?” You looked between his lips and his eyes, watching his eyes coo in admiration of you. His arms snaked around your neck and cupped the back of your head, resting his ringed fingers against your skin delicately.

“You don’t have to ask, angel.” And with that you didn’t hesitate to reclaim your clips on his. He tasted as sweet and as soft as you could remember. The hint of mint sweets he kept in his car could be tasted all over his mouth, and he could no doubt taste the vodka on yours. He took no time in rushing to have his tongue exploring your mouth once mouth, biting on your lip when he got the chance to. He wanted you to remember this moment and how much love he has for you, and always will. Just as you do for him.

Hesitantly pulling away you smiled at him cheekily, feeling so much lighter and happier to have him here. With you in his arms so expertly.

“What?” He asked, leaving a quick kiss to your nose, inhaling his scent as he did.

“Just can’t believe you’re here.” You stroked his cheek with your thumb, and he leaned into your touch so comfortably. He had missed you so damn much, and it showed.

“Let you down once before and I wasn’t going to do it again.”

“So you’d have shown up even if I hadn’t?”

“Not happily, but yes.” He laughed thinking about it.

“Why?” You laughed with him.

“I’ve got to make my impression on your family somehow. Need to remind some of them how amazing and beautiful their special Y/N L/N is.”

“Some are going to need a lot more persuading than others.” You sighed, side-frowning over your words.

“No offence, but anyone who doesn’t treat you as a fucking diamond doesn’t deserve you and should watch out for kick up their backside from me.” You laughed over his empty threat and buried your head against his chest, listening to the heartbeat and rumble of laughter that came from within. This moment alone felt like home. Safe and warm.

“I love you, H.”

“Bloody love you too.”

Harry ended up returning to the wedding with you, much to your mothers surprise, and you both enjoyed the celebrations together. You shut yourselves out from everybody and just danced, talked and drank the night away.

You were so in love.

Later, photos got leaked of the wedding and it showed you and Harry dancing away in one of the backgrounds of the photos. It was supposed to be a shot of just the bride and groom, but you two have managed to get caught in it. You looked so caught up in each other that you still weren’t even aware the photo had been taken. You and Harry had determinedly avoided the camera all night, exactly for this reason, but a part of you was kind of happy that this one photo got leaked, because it showed the world that Harry was yours and you were his. It showed that you were together, or back-together as addressed by some FBI fans, and that you were stronger for it.

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