#its so hard to like. make it obviously part cat AND dog on both accounts grahhh

[higgs-the-god]

hmmmmmmmmmm

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

I asked my dad how to pronounce Didymos and he gave me the Greek–accurate pronunciation (which is something like di-du-moss but the middle u does the thing where you purse your lips a whole lot) and I nearly fell over laughing because OF COURSE ASTOR WOULD INSIST PEOPLE USE THAT RIDICULOUSLY HARD PRONUNCIATION, THAT'S PROBABLY WHY HE'S ONLY REFERRED TO BY HIS SURNAME IN THE FIRST PLACE

Actually I have a lot of thoughts about Astor’s name and I shall be taking your wonderful ask as an excuse to talk about it.

Spoilers below if you haven’t caught up on hku yet, mainly dealing with the afters of the Digging In and Sinking Arc

So you might have noticed that I put a lot of emphasis on people’s “true” name. Arcadius/Larc, Assivus/Asivus/Siv, Zelda/Mallory, and much more, including the ever elusive Calamity Ganon/???, who’s true nature, and therefore name, has not been officially showcased.

My emphasis on names pretty much all started with Astor and the idea of onomancy—the magic/divination/power that comes from a true name.

Although mostly this started because I thought Astor was a really stupid first name when by all accounts I’ve only ever heard it as a last name. But I digress

For the sake of my interpretation, a “true name” is equivalent to a characters true nature, which means that a characters birth name might not necessarily be their “true” name. For example, “Link” is definitely not Larc’s true name as being a vessel es hero was never meant to be his destiny not nature.

“Mallory,” surprisingly, is more attuned to who Zelda is as a character, even though it actually means “bad luck.” While “Zelda,” in a similar fashion to “Link” is tuer to a broader idea of general greatness and destiny, the name Mallory is closely tied with her mother and her mother’s love(for ducks) and innocence and hope for her daughter. Mallorys name is a true teller of her destiny, but also a way that informs her ultimate flaw and journey—her life is full of negativity, and yet she is expected to be a powerful symbol of hope. Can she actually do that, or will she dive into something darker and deeper?

But back to Astor, as the original guy that I gave a “true name” to, I spent the most time researching it. Didymos, is the name of an asteroid. Specifically, it is the closest asteroid to earth. Insert analysis about Astor being a magical seer who’s job is to look to the stars, and yet is constantly pulled down by the haunting of earthly turmoil here.

However the name “Didymos” itself also means twin, double, or two, a reference to the fact that while the Calamity always reiterates that they “chose Asivus first,” he settled with Astor as his second choice after Siv initially refused. Didym(meaning, double) and os(meaning, to have)

Now, the name Didymos is pronounced as di-dEE-mos, the purses lips “du” like you said. This is because the prefix that gives the name its “double” meaning (ha see what I did there) is the Greek prefix, Didym—. The suffix giving the two name variants, Didymos and Didymus.

Now I actually was going to make the spelling of his name “Didymus” as it would be a direct reference to the apostle Thomas, literally known as “Doubting Thomas” and “Didymus the Blind.” In fact the original intention with Astor’s name was to allude to biblical depictions of apostles and prophets who made severe mistakes in life. I mean, I even made Astor’s middle name “Amanon,” an altered reference to a certain character in the Bible who was murdered by their half brother

However, I went with the “Didymos” spelling varient because of the importance of the Greek suffix -os. The -os is the suffix used to determine the subject of the sentence, while other suffixes such as -us depict the acting part of a sentence. (This is because Greek words did not place important on word order to get information across. The dog bit the cat, and the cat bit the dog have two different meanings. However, in Greek, those two sentences would both mean “the dog bit the cat” unless you specify the subject -os suffix for the word “cat”)

Thus I preferred to go with Didymos given that I do not see Astor as a character who goes out of their way to act, but rather arrogant in their idea of being the “subject” of the sentence, and having fate act accordingly to his fortunes.

HOWEVER, that is the analysis of his birth name, the given pronunciation of “Didymos.” It is pronounce in a rough two syllable Didy-mos and means “to have double.” His name is the cemented foreshadowing of his role as second to the Calamity, and the Calamity’s second choice of servant.

But Astor prefers the prononciation Di-die-mus, the pronouncing of the “dy” as “die” forcing the -os suffix to change to a -us. And the didym- suffix destroying the original meaning of the word. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So obviously, Astor is embarrassed about his name, because in paper, if you see the word “Didymos” there is a very high chance you’re doing to read it like didy-mos and be calling him some very amusing nicknames including Didy, Didy-Bidy, and of course, Tiddymos, because we are mature. Thus comes the very understandable transformation into Di-dy-mos, mostly because Astor is emo and like the fact that “die” is now pronounced in his name.

But there is also a very intentional breakage if the word’s meaning with this new prononciation, as is does not follow the prefix prononciation for Didym—. This means that with this pronunciation, the “twin/double” meaning of his name no longer exists, which therefore means his tie as Ganon’s second/Siv’s copy no longer exists. In fact it literally cancels out, as both the fixes of “Di” and “Dy” mean two, but when both used in the context of one word, are then void of their identities meanings since Greek language didn’t allow for adjacent syllables to both have noun meanings, so they must cancel out.

In addition, the new prononciation of the “dy” tends to lead the tongue towards an -us suffix, rather than -os. This would then mean that Astor’s name is no longer be in sentence subject, but rather in sentence acting.

Therefore, to summarize, the entire meaning of Astor’s name is entirely dependent on its pronunciation. Unlike all the other characters, who’s fates and journées can be identified by their true name, Astor’s is a contradiction, it is two things, and you cannot be sure which it is. Yes it is alluding to his connections with Ganon, but does Astor’s personal pronouncing allude to a fate that is entirely different?

You cannot know his destiny from name alone. You cannot predict it, much like how Astor struggles with his predictions, even thought one side obviously looks more probable than the other. It’s too much of a hassle to analyze. It’s too much of a hassle to correct people’s prononciation. Its too much of a hassle to pretentiously pronounce that “dy” for you all. Just like how it’s too much stress to constantly hope for better futures when the clearest one laid out before him is most probable.

So we settle, for Astor.

And Astor settles, for the barest minimum.

[stenbrozier]

Adopting a Kitten with the Adult!Losers

Warnings: slight PTSD mention from cat attacks + swearing

——————————————————————————

Bill:

- He’d be a little hesitant about getting a cat

- Not because he doesn’t like them, just because he never had any pets growing up and he didn’t wanna do the wrong thing

- You had found the Calico kitten on the side of the road on the way home from work shaking in the rain storm, and, while he was all for helping the poor thing, he thought that you were going to take it to a shelter after a day or so

- But when you gave him puppy eyes and asked him to keep it, Bill became putty in your hands and immediately ran to the pet store to get the cat a cute lil collar and the other things she needed to live comfortably

- You named her Jupiter and she was very bouncy and energetic, something Bill could simply never get used to

- She’d jump on his desk and slide on the papers or run under his feet when he was coming downstairs for dinner

- But he loved her nonetheless

- Bill didn’t show it, but you could tell he loved whenever she’d curl up in his lap or whenever he heard her little feet running across the hall to come see him in his office

- One time, while he thought you were taking a nap, you heard him playing with her and giggling softly, talking to her in an adorable little baby voice

- He simply loved her, even as she got older and become more relaxed but more clingy

- Jupiter could be most likely found in his lap or in his arms, and it was simply the most adorable thing

Richie:

- He hates cats

- He didn’t have any animals growing up, but he was attacked by the neighborhood stray when he was around 9 or 10, and ever since then, he thought that they were demons

- Richie was walking through LA to get you guys something good for breakfast when he ended up in front of a pet store and he had the crazy urge to walk in

- As soon as he stepped in, there was a cat cage and there was a tiny white kitten with a little pink color on

- Richie didn’t know why but his heart kinda melted and he got all excited

- He pulled out his phone and snapped a picture, sending it to you accompanied by a text that read “please 🥺🥺”

- “Rich I thought you hated cats.” “yeah but this one is pretty” “fine but you better still be getting breakfast”

- He adopted the cat, getting everything she needed and literally going overboard

- After picking up some pancakes at the old diner in the city, he walked back with bags filled with things for her in one hand, your breakfast in the other, and then her sleeping in his shirt pocket

- Richie walked in with a smile on his face and you cooed at the little kitten softly, begging him to name her Marie, like the cat from Aristocats

- “Baby I don’t care as long as she can sit at the table when we eat” “Richie cats sit at the table their food bowl belong on the floor” “No she’s a princess and she should be treated as such”

- And to think that just hours before, Richie refused to let a cat step foot in the house

Eddie:

- When you guys moved into your first house together, he was adamant on no animals

- He grew up believing that he was allergic, despite how many times he went to a friend’s house with a dog or a couple cats and nothing happened

- But one day, as you were exploring the little town you guys moved into, you stumbled upon a pet store and begged him to go in

- Eddie was reluctant but when he saw how excited you got when you saw the little kittens in the cage by the window, he gave in

- “Eddie, they’re so tiny” you reached your hand in and started playing with a solid grey one, the sunlight bouncing off its fur and reflecting a silvery light

- You asked to pick it up out of the cage and when the worker handed it to you, she told you his name was Mushroom

- “Eddie, did you hear” “Yes, Baby, I heard. Mushroom” Eddie had is arms crossed over his chest but when the cat snuggled into your chest his heart melted a little at the face you gave him

- “Ed-“ “What does a cat need”

- You smiled wide and told him the basics: food, bowls, litter box, litter, and you even convinced him to get a couple of quiet toys

- He wanted to get a collar for him, but he decided that he would be a strictly indoor cat and there would be no need

- On the walk home, Mushroom stayed in your arms as you talked to him softly, getting back a few meows in response

- Eddie just smiled and wrapped his hand around your waist, holding everything else in his free hand

Stanley:

- As soon as you guys moved in together after college, he wanted an animal. He was able to work from home with his accounting job, and you couldn’t, so he was always very lonely

- Stanley is a whiner. He whined about you leaving for work every morning or when you were too tired to watch a movie with him at night

- So for his birthday, you decided you were going to get him a lil friend

- You went to the shelter, asking to see all the cats cause he would not like a dog, and you saw this older cat named Margo

- She was about 4, all nice and calm, and she had a pretty black coat with piercing eyes that reminded you of Stanley’s

- You had to get her, and so you did

- You wanted to surprise Stan, obviously so you brought her home through the back door, knowing his was working in his office in the front of the house

- You waited until he had gotten up to go to the bathroom to walk out into main part of your house, letting the cat out to get accustomed

- Stanley walked back in with a glass of water and nearly dropped it when he saw the little fuzzy being sniffing around his wheelie office chair

- “No way” he had tears in his eyes as he calmly went up to the cat, scratching behind her ear “whats her name”

- “Marco” “Holy shit. Hi, Marco, I’m your dad”

- She snuggled right up into his hand causing him to start crying because of how happy he was

- “Now I won’t be lonely ever again. God, (Y/N), I love you”

Mike:

- Since you guys lived so close to the library, you were able to think about getting an animal

- You both worked the same hours together at the library, so a dog was out of the question, but Mike brought the idea of getting a cat

- It just so happened that a few days after you guys talked about it, you found a skinny kitten curled up underneath the awning of the entrance on a hot day

- You took the kitten in, and placed it on the front desk

- “Mikey, we have to keep him” “Okay, he can be our library cat”

- You never really gave him a name, just always called him “Baby”

- You guys bought him everything he needed and got him a collar, knowing that he’d probably be happier as an outdoor cat as well

- You guys attached a little cat door to the front of the library

- You also started taking donations for the local animal shelter in honor of the new kitten

- You guys also got more visitors because they all came to see your kitten

- As he got older, he’d wander a lot and would bring back friends, sometimes pregnant friends

- There were many times that you guys had to replace the pillows of the couches because there were little kittens born on them

- But, since you and Miek had no kids, “Baby” and his friends were always welcome, even if you told them no because they’d get in anyways

Ben:

- Ben always wanted a dog, but it was difficult to get one with your busy schedules

- So you ended up getting a cat from the shelter, a big 5 year old Maine Coon named Ziti

- He was big and cuddly enough for it to seem like there was a dog around the house

- But easy maintenance cause it was still a cat

- Ben would be gone for weeks at a time and you worked 8 hour days, so it was the best option and it was nice on your end to not come home to emptiness some days

- It was really strange having such a small animal in such an expansive house, but you wouldn’t trade it

- He’d lay with you and Ben during movie nights and would beg for attention with harsh, deep mewls

- Ziti would sit on Ben’s lap while he did conference calls, and it was really funny to you because he would have this stern look on his face that would just scream “I’m involved too”

- “Baby, come take Ziti” “Mr. Hanscom...you named him Ziti?” “That was his given name...(Y/N)!”

- Ziti was attached to Ben, like he was always with him and it was so sweet to watch Ben prepare dinner and have Ziti sitting on the counter next to him

Bev:

- She had always wanted a cat. It was you who was hesitant

- While you were both home for work, she still wanted another companion around that would make your small studio apartment feel a little more like home

- You felt bad for keeping an animal cooped in your apartment

- But Bev argued that cats were made for apartment life

- So you went to the shelter and adopted a ginger cat named Rocky

- He was big and tough and liked to cuddle

- He was also severely distracting because he was talkative and it annoyed you to no end

- But Bev wanted him because he would sit with her while she sewed dresses together

- He would sit with you in the couch against your laptop because he liked the heat emitted from it

- But he was very large and it was hard for you to focus because he looked so content and you just wanted to kiss him all the time

- He had that effect on you

- He was your guys’ baby and he knew it

[bigskydreaming]

@dykeskomandr

OKAY BUT CHECK IT OUT!

So imagine Chris Kent and Duke start hanging out and being friends because Clark pushes him in the direction of the nearest Bat his age, thinking like...look it worked with all our other kids, sixth time for the win! Or whatever the actual number is with these literal mobs masquerading as families.

And Chris is for the most part a total sweetheart but he was raised by Zod and Ursa who were supremely consistent with their ‘Kryptonians are superior to all other lifeforms who should kneel before anyone with our last name’ rhetoric. 

Its plausible that Chris, even knowing his parents were douches, would have internalized at least trace amounts of that he needs to work through....maybe just enough that he’s uncomfortable or awkward around Dick, because it bothers him that a human is using the name and symbol of a Kryptonian legend, or maybe its more accurately that it bothers him to realize it bothers him.

But Duke makes him snap out of it, because once he realizes the issue, he doesn’t mince words and bluntly tells Chris: 

“Look, I know you’re dealing with a lot being thrown at you all at once, but if you’re gonna keep having an issue with Nightwing, we’re gonna have issues. On account of y’know, he’s my actual bro now and he’s totally a credit to that name and rep and nobody’s got any business thinking he’s not worthy of it or whatever your deal is. So you can not deal and scram, or you can deal and we’ll be cool. Or, if you want, you can choose Door Number Three and make a big deal about it and I’ll kick your ass and then we’ll be cool.”

Chris isn’t really sure what to say to that, so he defaults to: “As if you could. I am Kryptonian, you know.”

Duke just smirks back, totally unphased: “And I’m a Bat. Maybe you’ve heard of us.”

Chris thinks this over. Nods thoughtfully. “Point taken.”

And that behind them, they proceed to become the best of friends.

Meanwhile, Bruce happens to be lurking just out of sight around the corner, as he is wont to do, and overhears everything. He starts tearing up when listening to Duke casually threaten the ultra powered Kryptonian-might-as-well-be-a-demigod teenager, all without the slightest trace of nerves or even a hint of doubt about his ability to deliver yon ass-kicking if need be.

“I’m so proud,” he whispers to himself.

Hundreds of miles away, Clark hears. Because Kryptonian senses and also Plot Convenience. He sighs.

“Some parents settle for putting their kids’ artwork up on the fridge, but no. Its his kids saying they could beat up my kids that makes him gush. Every time.”

“Problem, sweetheart?” Lois asks, with clear amusement. She has no idea what Clark’s overheard, of course, but she obviously knows it has something to do with Bruce’s somewhat divergent parenting philosophies, so that’s really all she needs to get the gist of it.

“Nothing to worry about, honey,” Clark says, shaking his head. “Its just a day ending in ‘y’, that’s all.”

“Mmm,” Lois muses knowingly. She’s not quite ready to let sleeping dogs lie, as she clearly senses an opportunity here. For entertainment. Its that keen reporter’s intuition, just used here for evil personal gain. 

He tries not to begrudge his wife her hobbies. She works very hard after all.

“Is Chris doing okay over at Bruce’s? Getting along alright with his brood, I hope?”

Leading questions, oh how the love of his life does love them. All the more when he knows right where they’re leading - but still knowingly marches straight towards his doom. 

After all, precedence has established that trying to jump the tracks only prolongs the agony. She’s on the hunt now, and won’t stop until she’s sated her amusement.

(Cat always warned him Lois had a mean streak, but noooo, he had to chalk it up to jealousy.) 

So forgoing his usual stoicism and giving his wife the frank honesty she’s after, undignified as it may be, Clark frowns. In a way some might describe as sulking, but they would be wrong, for it is merely a frown.

“Well, Duke just threatened to beat Chris up, but now that that’s out of the way, they seem to be quickly becoming the best of friends,” Clark says. In a way some might describe as petulant, but they also would be wrong.

Lois nods as she absorbs that. And then she smirks. “Try and pin that on Bruce all you want, Boy Scout, but I think we both know Duke’s not the only one of those two who’s riffing off a well-established theme there. Or am I remembering wrong, and you and Bruce actually skipped straight to the enduring friendship, with absolutely zero blustering or bravado before that?”

“Whose side are you on anyway?” Clark pouts in a very heroic way, stiff upper lip and everything, as Lois sails breezily past him down the hall. 

She laughs gaily, her playful mockery lingering in her slipstream as she vanishes into their bedroom. “The truth of course, darling. I’m always on the side of Truth.”

[serenamantra]

been mia for almost 4 months after being so active in writing, the ecq must have really made me productive in blogging because the moment it has been lifted, i had no time in writing again. haha! just kidding. i just felt like there’s nothing really amusing going on with my life. i thought that there’s nothing to share in terms of new beginnings, new journeys, or new experiences. my life has been in normal or just straight for awhile now and i thought it’s not interesting to write about it. but i really guess that’s how being an adult is, everything goes simple and it felt like there’s nothing to really worry about, you have a stable job, an amazing bond with your family, a stable relationship with my boyfriend, best friends and friends. although i can keep on writing about how this government makes our daily even more shitty every morning when we wake up, but i guess some of  you wouldn’t like that and i don’t want that either, it’s gonna be exhausting and toxic. anyway, here are some life updates  that has been going on with life:

when the ecq has been lifted, my brother and his family decided to come back here in our house. at first, everyone was so in denial in believing that everything will turn up just right because everyone’s been trying to work on this relationship for yeas and that turned worst that we thought. my brother decided to come back because our house is more accessible for everyone and then Kael will be having his online classes for the new normal and they don’t have internet in the house they stayed in. it has been 3 months, i guess? and it’s quite working well. hopefully, it’ll stay that way. anyway, my sister-in-law, Mich, helped me in coloring my hair which i was really planning before the lockdown but i guess i was really late to realize that the store whose selling hair products is gonna be closing too. so, i really wanted to color my hair from top to bottom, pink but she’s really digging the hair pegs that she saw on the internet so she just bleached the bottom part of my hair. i was really pretty excited about it. but my indecisive ass wants to bleach all my hair. so..

we did! haha! based on my smile, of course i loved it! but we colored it again and put very light ash blonde. because of the pandemic, everyone’s bored and obviously, doing your hair is one of the trending thing to do while just staying at home. i became so bored with the bleached hair because every girl you see has bleached hair. i dont want that :c also, we colored it so that the pink hair won’t turn out to be so bright. 

and finally! after waiting for almost 2 months, we finally achieved what we really want to my hair. ate mich just let the top of head to be ash blonde and left the bottom pink. i so so love the finished product and i’m so devastated that i’m already having roots :( also, we waited for almost  2 months to finally color it pink to avoid a lot of chemical to my hair. idk if it helped tho.

another life update, my boyfriend and i started to create a page and an instagram account for our babies! we are planning of opening our own business as dog breeder. idk if it sounds right to make it as a business to your guys, but the money we will be getting in this is clearly not for us but for our babies. we have 9 dogs. and yes, we are planning on adding more babies in the future. however, with 9 dogs, our salaries together cannot provide their daily, monthly and yearly expenses. my boyfriend has his own bills to pay and i too. also, my parents is actually working on some papers for their retirement and of course, we the pandemic, monthly pensions can take up some time to get. we will be helping out with the monthly expenses here in our house. i dont know why i bother to explain but im feel like i should so.. also, we will be making a kennel at our backyard to provide better home for our babies. due to our growing furfamily, being leashed or caged in a small place is hard and i don’t want that for them. 

moving on, sara and luna finally gave birth! sarah gave birth last june 15, 2020 with 6 adorable puppies; 4 females and 2 males. it was our first time handling a mommy to give birth, and it was exhausting and messy! she kept roaming around. also, fun fact, she gave birth in our room! hahahaha imagine the smell and all the blood everywhere. everyone was excited. when she finished, i cleaned the room for better home for the new born babies and for sara to finally rest. we also visited the vet because sara’s a big girl and we thought there was still a puppy left inside her. fortunately, she is now safe. 

the next day, bim, my mom and went grocery shopping and also both some stuff for sara and the babies. we were buying at mcdonalds for our snack when ate mich called bim and said luna’s gave birth to 2 puppies already! so my mom and bim left me because i was still waiting for our order. when i came home, my baby luna is at our comfort room, looking so exhausted and shocked of what is coming out of her! it’s her first time. at first, we thought she’ll just have 4 puppies because of size but damn ghorl! she wanted to show off that she can do it, too! 

we were honestly tired the whole time they gave birth. imagine! taking care of 12 puppies and 2 tired mommies. but it was all worth it. however, the worst part happened. we lost one of sara’s puppies. she clearly didn’t grew the moment she was born and didn’t fight when drinking her milk with her brothers and sisters. it was hard for me to see that a puppy died but to make it better, i just thought that its good that she didn’t experience this cruel world. 

also, one of luna’s puppies died. she was supposed to turn 1 month so everyone was trying to walk already. unfortunately, she got outside their cage and sara got her :( idk if she was aggressive upon seeing her because it happened when we were sleeping. but we thought that her body couldn’t take the force when sara held her. when i woke up i let them go out in our front yard and their i saw, the little pup, bathing in sara’s saliva. i was furious with sara and i really couldn’t help not to scold her. another puppy died and it was so devastating. 

anyhow, we needed to move on. 

latest update in our growing furfamily. another cat! his name is beau. it’s my first time to own a cat that is still a kitten and we never knew on how to know what’s the difference of a female and male kitten since their genitals isn’t mature yet. we thought he was a guy at first and then we saw that it’s being a girl genitals and when we went to the vet, she said he is a guy. which was okay because having a female cat is tiring. male cats outside our home keeps on making them pregnant. it’s annoyinggg. 

[love-and-monsters]

Alien Encounter (Pt. 1)

So I thought I wasn’t going to upload anything this week, but I got struck with a strong idea for a multi-part story and I couldn’t help but write it! Hope you enjoy.

I stumbled off my ship. The ground was murky and soft, like heavily saturated mud. My feet slipped in the muck and the effort it took to get them unstuck jostled the broken wrist I’d secured into a sling. Simply walking was a slow, painful effort.

It did not help that I wasn’t sure where the hell I was going. The star map I’d been using suggested that the planet was uncivilized, at least as far as the Human Alliance was concerned. There was nowhere to go to make a distress call, no place to get parts from to repair the damaged ship, not even somewhere I could wait for my employers to track my distress beacon all the way to my ship.

In short, wandering away from the ship was probably a bad idea. But staying in the ship was a worse idea, because the damn thing was sinking. The murk was able to support my weight, as long as I kept moving, but inch by inch, the ship was going down. Luckily my distress signal would still reach my employers (the signal could travel through miles upon of space; a few feet of mud was no problem) but it did mean that I couldn’t stay in that relative safety. I’d gathered up everything I’d thought would be useful into a backpack, slung it over my shoulder, and set off to find somewhere to kill time until my employers found me.

I set out close to sunrise. By midday, I was starting to realize exactly how fucked I was.

I’d taken enough water and food for at least four days, but I hadn’t accounted for the fact that I would be moving around in high humidity. I’d plowed through most of my water allowances for the day and I felt sick with thirst. Oh god, I felt sick. Sweat plastered my clothes to my body and my hair to my brow. It was hard to breathe, even with the mask. Even taking a break was impossible. If I stayed standing in one place for too long, my feet started to sink into the muck and it took far too much effort to extricate myself.

I staggered along, trying to find somewhere to catch my breath. My legs burned from the effort of walking. My chest ached. Only the fear that if I stayed still for too long, I would sink kept me moving.

The longer I walked, the more oppressive the panic in my chest grew. Progress was minimal. It took so much effort just to move forward. I could feel my muscles cramping and failing. The mud clung to my ankles and calves and I realized I could no longer move my legs.

Shit. Shit! I couldn’t move my legs! I pulled against the clinging muck and it held tighter. There was nothing close enough to grab onto to pull myself out. Every effort to lift my legs only pulled me down further. The mud sucked up to my knees. I pressed my palms down against the mud’s surface, but they just sank uselessly down. Panic clawed wildly up my chest and throat, choking me. I couldn’t move!

Something to my right gave a strange mewing noise. I whipped my head around. Standing next to a tree, no more than a few yards away, stood an alien.

It was tall and blue-skinned. There was a slight gloss to its skin and a darker blue color mottled the backs of its limbs. Its face was somewhat human and also somewhat feline, with bright yellow eyes. Pointed, fin-like ears twitched constantly on either side of its head, scanning for sudden sounds. There were fins running along the top of its head, a little like three small mohawks. A massive, powerful looking tail swung behind it, tipped with a strangely colored and frilly fin. Its legs resembled the hind legs of a dog or a cat, with elongated, paw-like feet.

It was wearing clothes, I was pretty sure, which was a good sign. Not every intelligent species wore clothes, but no unintelligent species did. As I watched it, the creature stepped cautiously closer. It seemed to be able to almost hover on top of the mud and, as it stepped closer, I saw why. Pale yellow fins spread out on either side of its feet, creating a sort of snowshoe effect that allowed it to distribute its weight evenly over the mud.

It took a few more bipedal steps toward me, then sank down onto all fours as it drew closer. The approach was cautious, but when I made no move to attack, it seemed to grow more confident. Within a few moments, it was next to me.

I waited while it circled me. “You can’t understand me, can you?” I asked. It stilled, peering at me with wide eyes. “Is that a no?”

It stared for a few more seconds, then grabbed me by my armpits and pulled. With a wet slurping noise, I popped out of the muck.

The alien pulled me out onto the surface of the mud. I scrambled, trying to stand back up, but my limbs immediately started sinking back into the ground. The alien grabbed the back of my shirt and held me still until my struggling stopped. Then it released me and waited.

This time, I spread my limbs out over the surface of the mud and didn’t move. The alien made a noise that I assumed was approving. It circled me around again, then settled back down. With a quick, fluid motion, it slipped under me, pulling me up onto its back. It positioned my arms around its neck, securing me on its back, then it took off, running on all fours.

The alien moved quickly over the ground, springing over the mud far more quickly than I could. After only a few minutes of running, the alien paused by the base of a tree. After a moment of rearing onto its hind legs, it leapt up, scrambling into the tree branches.

There was a small house nestled in the tree branches and the alien crawled inside. As soon as we were inside, the alien slid me off its back.

The floor was woven out of thin reeds, like the walls. The entire shelter was small, barely bigger than my ship. Small pieces of wooden furniture were pressed up against the sides of the room, things like cabinets and even a table. I sat up and looked at the alien. It was sitting most of the way across the room from me, staring.

“Hi,” I said. “You really can’t understand me, huh? Not even a little?”

The alien stared at me for a long moment, then it made a series of gentle, mewling, chittering noises. After a few seconds of silence, it repeated the noises.

“So, you can speak, at least,” I said. The alien frowned at me, then chittered and mewled again.

The back of my neck, right at the base of my skull, gave a sharp, electric buzz. I slapped my hand to the sensation. The alien started, stepping back. The buzzing sharpened in the back of my head, then resolved into a sharp, whining voice. “Translation function at 59 percent.”

I let out an excited giggle. The alien peered at me, obviously unsettled. “No, no, it’s okay! I just need you to talk. Talk!” I made a motion around my mouth. “Talk to me!”

The alien blinked at me. Its ears flattened. Hesitantly, it chittered and mewled some more. “Yes!” I enthused, trying to encourage more speech. “Keep going.” It cocked its head to one side, but kept speaking, more slowly this time.

 “Translation function at 90 percent. 91. 92.” The number ticked up as the alien kept talking. “98. 99. Translation complete. Commence.”

The buzzing sharpened to a whine so high pitched it made my head ache. I choked out a cry and the alien positively bristled. It reared back, hissing anxiously. It chittered out a few more words before they morphed into something understandable. “-don’t know how to help you!”

The pain faded, leaving me with only a faint ringing in my head. “Sorry, could you slow down a little? I just have a little bit of a headache.”

The alien froze. Its eyes, already pretty wide, practically bulged from its head. Its mouth opened, closed, opened again. “I… You can speak!”

“The two-way translator just came online. Now I can understand you and you can understand me.” The alien gaped at me. I was fairly certain he was a male, given the deeper tone of his voice and the large, somewhat frilly tail fin. “Sorry about literally crashing in on you like this, but thanks for the rescue.”

He stared at me, slowly closing his mouth. His eyes narrowed and his tail swished slowly over the floor. “What are you?”

“I’m a human. We’re the dominant species on ten planets and three additional star systems and members of the Interstellar Unity Alliance.” The alien blinked at me. “Guess that doesn’t mean anything to you, huh?”

He shook his head. I could see his nose twitching slightly as he sniffed. “Why are you here?”

“Oof.” I slumped back against the wall. “That was a mistake. I’m a courier for the elite, the people who can pay for both discretion and speedy deliveries. But, uh, sometimes that means taking shortcuts and sometimes that means cutting corners on some ship maintenance. I maybe should have let the shipyard take a look before I took off again. One of the engines malfunctioned when I was passing through. I crashed.”

The alien leaned forward, glancing around testily. “Where is your ship?”

“At this point? Probably all the way under the mud. Damn thing started sinking as soon as I landed.” I sighed. “Usually we’re supposed to stay with the ship until rescue arrives, but staying in there would have meant a slow death, so I had to find somewhere else to stay.”

The alien’s ears pricked as he stared at me. “If you’re not with the ship, will your rescue party be able to find you?”

“Sure. Once they get to the right planet, they can use the translator chip in my head to find me. I’ll be fine. It just might take a while.” I took a deep breath and stood up. “Look, I’m sorry for barging in on you like this. If you give me a secluded place where I can wait out the rescue, I can just go there and I’ll be out of your hai- well, out of your way.”

The alien stared at me, tail tucking close to his body. “You can’t breathe underwater, can you?”

“Nah, humans are a land-only species.” The alien clicked his clawed fingertips on the ground, ears twitching.

“I don’t know anywhere you could stay, unless you can sleep in a tree.” He considered for a few moments. “I suppose you could stay here.”

“Here in your house with you?” I said. The alien nodded. “Really? You’d just let some random alien stay with you? I could be here to, I don’t know, probe your brains or something.”

The alien snorted. “I’m afraid I’m not terribly threatened by someone who’s more easily defeated by the landscape than a toddler.” He tilted his head, peering at the arm I had carefully folded over my chest. “I’m also not threatened by someone with a broken wrist.”

“Oh.” I’d almost forgotten about it in all the chaos, but not that I was reminded of it, my wrist started to ache again. “How’d you know it was broken?”

“I’ve broken mine before.” He crossed the floor to sit next to me. “I have a medical kit. I can probably bind it, maybe give you some painkillers?”

“No drugs, but if you could splint my wrist, that’d be great.” He nodded and rose, crossing the small room quickly. After rummaging in a cabinet for a few minutes, he returned, holding a box with a black X running across the front.

“Give me your arm.” I held out my hand and his fingertips probed along my wrist. It took a considerable amount of effort to stay perfectly still when he touched the location of the fracture. “Sorry,” he said, glancing up from my wrist with an apologetic expression. “This is going to hurt.”

I gritted my teeth. “Just get it over with.”

He took hold of a spool of bandages and unraveled them, then turned my arm so the underside was facing up. “I have to bind it tightly so it doesn’t move,” he said. “You’re going to have to stay still.”

“I know. Please just get it over with!”

He took a deep breath and started binding my wrist. The pain made my eyes water and my stomach turn. “Agh, shit, shit, shit!” I spat under my breath.

The alien tied off the bandages and the pain diminished from ‘excruciating’ to ‘awful.’ I gulped air, fumbling for the bag of pain pills in my bag. When I’d managed to take them with a hasty gulp of water, I sagged back onto the floor, staring up into the concerned face of the alien.

“Lucky our hands are similar,” I said. “How’d you learn to splint a wrist like that?”

“I broke my own wrist during guard training, so I needed to set it.”

“Guard training?”

He nodded. “I’m an outpost guard for Solemnia. It’s usually peaceful enough, excepting the occasional spaceships.”

“Aren’t guards supposed to report unusual incidents like me?” I asked.

“We’re supposed to report threats. You haven’t seemed like a threat so far.” He curled his tail close to his body. “And I’m not sure what exactly my superiors would do to something like you.”

I snorted out a laugh. It was shakier than I would have liked. “You think they’d dissect me or something?”

There was a long pause. The alien stared at the ground. I swallowed my laughter. “So, uh. That’s a yes, then? On the dissection?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t know what they would do to you. I trust my superiors in most matters, but I do not trust that the bureaucracy of my planet would let you live. At least, they wouldn’t let you go free.” He frowned. “Unless your people came for you, I suppose.”

“They wouldn’t,” I said. “They’re not going to risk an interplanetary confrontation just to get a courier back. I’d be considered lost.”

The alien nodded like I’d confirmed something for him. “You can stay here until your people come for you. How long do you think it will be?”

“A few days, maybe. Not too long. My ship should have pinged them as soon as it went down. They’ll take a few days to confirm the signal, get a rescue ship online, and actually get out here.”

The alien nodded. “Then that should be okay.”

I took a deep breath. “Thank you.”

He nodded again and gave a short, breathless little giggle. The expression on his face was slightly hysterical, but also strangely adorable. His eyes were wide, bright yellow all the way around and his mouth kept twitching into a small, constrained smile. “This is a bit exciting, isn’t it? I’m harboring an alien!”

His humor was strangely infectious, and I felt a giggle slip form my lips too. “Yeah, I guess it is.” He giggled a little more and slumped down to the floor, covering his mouth slightly with his hand.

“Hey,” I said. “What’s your name?”

He moved his hand away from his mouth. “Valain. What’s your name?”

“Anya. It’s nice to meet you.” He grinned back at me.

“Nice to meet you too.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #252

my personal laptop has to be fixed, so therefore i don’t have games to play, so expect plenty of these to pass the time lmao.

Have you ever said something just to see what kind of reaction you’d get? No, not that I remember. Have you ever confronted someone about using too much chat-speak? ??? No??? Have you ever revealed someone’s secret, after promising not to tell? No. Secrets are one thing I'm very serious about respecting. What is one emotion that you experience regularly? STRESS, MOTHERFUCKER. Describe the last major change you made concerning your hairstyle? Lopped it all off, lmao. It's been like, two years now though. Who was the last person to walk out of your life, and why? It feels like my friend Alex. She's kinda just... left me hanging for months. I think she's active online, but not with me, despite reaching out. She's also deleted her b.net account or just removed me from her friends list, idk. Absolutely nothing seems like it would've prompted that, though. Are you less likely to approach people that look/dress a certain way? I was going to say no, but the last person's answer inspired mine to yes; like, I'm not going to go talk to people with some crazy or offensive shit on their shirts, nor am I going to just go walk up to someone covered in blood. Name one embarrassing activity that you take part in? I don't know. Like I say enough I'm VERY self-conscious of revealing I RP, but only because I'm sensitive to how the person will respond. I'm in no way like, ashamed I do it. I'm just terrified of judgment over something "unusual." Ever been told that you can’t understand love due to your age? Not that I remember. I only claimed to "get it" (to my recollection) at a point in mine and Jason's relationship, and I very legitimately would've guffawed at and honestly nearly slapped you if you claimed I "didn't understand" love. What is your favorite Starburst candy flavor? THE PINK ONES. Do you think that you act like yourself while online? I act more like myself online. Have you ever lied about something to get someone to like you? No. Who is the fakest person in your life right now? I don't keep those people in my life. Have you ever laid down in the grass, and made shapes out of the clouds? As a kiddo. When someone’s constantly negative, how do you deal with it? It depends on the person, but ALMOST in all cases, I really really try to support the person as best I can. It may start to bring me a bit down, but I feel I'm just like... hardwired to help those I love. I think it's what my relationship with Jason did, as he left because he couldn't handle my depression anymore, and with how that absolutely and utterly annihilated me, I don't want anyone else to feel that pain. Now, for people I don't have much of a bond with, it's easier for me to say "I'm sorry, but I can't handle this right now," but even then, I prefer to help. Does Christmas make you feel like a kid again? No. I'm really most excited for aunt reasons, lol. Do you have any artistic talent? Some. Would you ever shoplift from a store if you knew you wouldn’t be caught? Absolutely not. When one of your pets dies, how do you react? Usually cry. I've only ever not done so if I hadn't at all formed a bond with the animal. When you go to the movies, where in the theater do you sit? Close to the front, in the middle. When was the last time you lost your appetite? I don’t know. Have you ever neglected to take care of yourself? Er. Quite badly during '16, in the depth of my depression. I'll just say my teeth are kinda yellow because of it. I want to whiten my teeth at some point if I can afford that kind of luxury. The last song/poem/story you wrote - what was it about? In RP, the most recent section being written now is my main protagonists receiving a visit from their allies before getting their asses torn up the next day lmao. After a fight, who apologizes first - you, or the other person? Usually me, but it does depend. If I genuinely feel I didn't do jackshit wrong, no, I'm not apologizing. When you’re feeling creative, what do you do? Write. Do you mind being in your house alone overnight? Not really by now. Done so a number of times. Are there any dreams you remember from childhood? Nightmares, yes, and one very realistic dream. What worries you most about death? Not knowing what happens afterwards. Do you watch really old tv shows or movies from the 1970s or earlier? I love The Munsters, I Love Lucy, The Beverly Hillbillies, and The Addams Family. I'm sure there's more, considering I liked to watch stuff with my mom as a kid. Who’s your celebrity crush(es)? HHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG Ever been to a rave? No. Are you afraid to name the person you talk the most shit about? I don't really do that. Like I'll vent about people occasionally, but "talk shit" seems like the wrong word. I don't like gossiping. Are you a jealous person? Envious, rather, sometimes. I get VERY envious when it comes to photography, but otherwise, I don't feel it much. Who do you text the most out of your friends? Sara is like the only friend I text, lol. What would you do if you saw a complete stranger dealing drugs in public?
 Honestly, call an authority. I don't fuck with that. I'm not watching it happen. How often do you play video games? What are some of your favourites?
 I played World of Warcraft daily until my laptop took a shit. Need to get that fixed. Now I play actual video games very rarely... but mostly just because you can only replay the same ole game so many times before you've had enough of it for like a year. There are a great number of new games I want to play, though. I want a PS4 soooo badly. What are a few things that get on your nerves when it comes to Facebook (or your social networking site of choice)?
 More than anything, posting something that's crying for attention only for the person to be like "ugh I don't wanna talk about it." Then don't fucking post it. What are three things you’ve started to like lately? I feel like I haven't found new interests in a long time... Wait! I do feel The Handmaid's Tale and the Wings of Fire book Sara lent me have revived my love of reading! :') I want to go to the book store when I can and get both the new sequel to THT and the next WoF book. What was the last reason for having butterflies in your stomach?
 *shrug* Do you need a lot of space in relationships, or are you happy to spend a lot of time with your SO?
 I need SOME alone time, but for the most part I love being together. Once we're really close, anyway. What was the last thing you cooked from scratch? Scrambled eggs. Have you ever won anything from those games in arcades?
 Yeah. Funny story, there was this one time my sister won a stuffed duck from a claw machine, and it was the one I wanted after trying many times, and I cried so hard that one of the employees literally got one out for me lmfao. I probably still have it in the attic. When was the last time you went out to a fair?
 Not since right before the breakup. How far is the nearest zoo or wildlife park from your house? Do you go often?
 Like, two hours. We almost never go because of the distance. Are either one of your parents retired? If not, what do they do for a living?
 No. My dad's been a mailman all my life, and Mom is currently on disability because she has cancer and obviously can't work because of chemotherapy and all that. She was a pharmacy tech, though. If you could change one physical trait about yourself, what would it be?
 Can all this weight like vanish please. Have you ever gone out with someone you didn’t like?
 ????? Why would I do that???? Well, I didn't yet like-like Tyler because we hadn't been reunited as friends long enough; dating was kinda like... a dumb way to re-get to know each other? Thank fuck that was only two weeks. Would you ever take a bullet for your significant other? I'm single. Would you ever work at a fast food restaurant?
 No. History shows I can't work with people. Are you good at haunted houses, or do you scream your head off?
 AHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!! If you’ve seen it, what did you think of the Twilight movie?
 I never watched them. Have you ever gotten your tongue stuck on a frozen pole?
 No. Are you a cat or a dog person?
 Cat. Does the movie Titanic make you cry?
 Ha ha, yes. I watched it on movie day while at the psych hospital and all of us were lil bitches almost sobbing, lol. Because it's a long movie, it went past our allotted time, but the nurses decided to let us finish it because we were so into it. I do have some good memories from those times... Do you think that fat people should wear skinny jeans? I think people can wear whatever the fuck they want without fear of judgment. Do you prefer game systems like Xbox, or older ones like Super Nintendo? The former. Do you enjoy indie music? Yep! What is the most strange piercing you’ve ever seen? Those ones people were getting on their fingers instead of rings... just huh. What do you do when you’re waiting in line at the grocery store? Look around, I guess. Think. What is your favourite beach to go to? I haven't been to enough to know. Have you ever been to a country club? No. Have you ever seen an animal die in real life? Too many times. Animals have been euthanized in my arms, and a kitten slowly died in my hands once. One of the most heartbreaking things I have ever experienced. Teddy accidentally punctured its lungs or broke ribs, I think, or something like that. I'm pretty sure he was trying to bring it back to its siblings because it wandered off, but he held it too tightly. I was home alone, too. It was fucking awful. Do you live on a Rd, St, Blvd, Ln, Way, or Ave? Road. Do you have naked pictures of someone saved on your phone? No. Would you ever go see an opera? Bitch I played Parasite Eve, I don't trust that shit. But seriously, no, not my scene. Do you own anything John Deere? No. Do you have a push mower or a mower that you ride on? Neither. A friend mows for us; he has the latter. What is the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic for? No clue. I think during a trip to New York. Would you consider joining the air force, army, etc? No. Who was your first crush and what made them special? This kid named Dylan. I thought he was super cute and cool. What is one thing nobody knows about you because nobody ever cared to ask? I dunno. Who did you idolize growing up? Steve Irwin. Do you believe that we are all here for a reason? What might the reason be? No. Have you ever carved your name or initials into a tree or stone? No. What were your best and worst subjects in school or college? Best: English. Worst: math. Name something you would like to devote more time to seeing or doing. Writing poetry. Drawing. Do you like to get your nails done? No. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? Yeah, IT. Do you like to wear dresses? Hell no with my current body. Do you like any ‘manly’ activities like hunting, fishing, or camping? I find fishing to be fun and relaxing, but because of morals, I can't stomach doing it anymore. What was the name of your first boyfriend? First with the title, Aaron. First *real* boyfriend, Jason. Your first kiss? Jason. Are you still with either of those people from the last 2 questions? No. Have you ever used your bra to hold things like you would a pocket? Ha ha no. I think. What is your longest relationship to date? Three years, 7-8 months. I don't remember if the breakup was in August or September. Who ended the last relationship you were in? It was kinda like... mutual-ish, but moreso her. Have you ever gotten back with an ex? No. Who was your first prom date? Jason. Do you cry during romantic movies? Sometimes. Who was the last person to see you cry? Mom. Have you ever been used? I don't think so romantically, but in other ways, I know I have been. Have you ever felt violated? Yes. Do you like when a guy takes you by surprise and kisses you? Not everyone likes guys, so what an assumption. But anyway, only if we're very serious and have heavy trust in one another. Do you ever leave the house without makeup? Pretty much always. When was the last time someone gave you flowers? Been a few years. What kind of gift can win you over? BITCH buy me something Mark-related and you earn like 20 points. Has anyone ever sung to you? Yes. Do you like massages? Depends on who you are. In almost any case, no. They're awkward. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. Do you sleep naked? No. Is smoking a turn-off? Yes. Is there a certain tv show you get upset if you miss? No. When was the last time you spent the night at someone else’s house? When I was at Sara's a year or so back. What is one food you always crave? Ice cream. Are you an exercise freak? Hunny- What scares you more, spiders or snakes? Snakes don't scare me, so spooders. Do you expect to be married in the next two years? No. Would you ever get implants? Nah. Have you ever had a crush on a sibling’s friend? No. Have you ever had a crush on a friend’s sibling? No. Are you more of a 'girly girl’ or a 'tomboy’? A tomboy. Have you ever dated someone with a child? No. Are you addicted to texting? No.

[onimiman]

Halloween 2018 Film Retrospective (no major spoilers ahead)

Throughout the entirety of the month of October 2018, I had watched a movie everyday that was, in at least some tangential way, related to Halloween. I can't really call all of them horror films (and to find out why, please see below), although I will say that many of them were unfortunately films that ranged from mediocre to downright unwatchable; had I not been forcing myself to watch these movies for the month, I would have given up ten minutes or so in. And I know I'm a bit late to the party since I'm only posting this on November 3rd, but fuck it, here's the list anyway. So without further ado, let's begin this retrospective with not the first film I watched this October, but the last film I watched for September, which I will call Film #0.

#0: The Babysitter (2017)

The plot: A twelve-year-old boy still hangs out with his babysitter when his parents are away, and just as he is developing deeper feelings for her, he learns a dark secret about her and her friends. This prompts him to undergo a night of survival that forces him to grow up and move on from his own feelings of inadequacy.

My thoughts: This movie feels like it was somehow a holdover script from the 1990s; when the film brings up an element from 1996's hit movie Independence Day, a movie that no one gives a shit about anymore (see how its sequel, 2016's Independence Day: Resurgence, flopped hard at the box office), it serves as only one piece of evidence for that claim. However, I did find the movie to be quite fun nonetheless, even if not all of the jokes in this horror comedy quite landed the way they intended to, but to me, it did have a stable story structure and everything storywise paid off with what was established early on. It's an easy less than 90 minutes to kill on Netflix and I recommend it even if you're not a horror fan.

#1: Leatherface (2017)

The plot: In this prequel to Tobe Hooper's seminal 1974 horror classic The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, we see the birth of the cannibalistic Sawyer family's iconic member turn into this film's titular villain.

My thoughts: By all means, this was a stupid and unnecessary film that shouldn't have been made. But I went into this expecting to simply be entertained by the violence and gore that was to come about. And was I? Yes, I was, and admittedly, the film did make me feel stupid in misleading me as to who Leatherface was going to be, even though there was a piece of evidence in the movie that did make me think, “Naw, it couldn't be.” So, for that, I can't completely shit on this film. If you're not a fan of gore, you'll despise this movie, but for me, it's a guilty pleasure by far.

#2: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

The plot: In this remake of Tobe Hooper's seminal 1974 horror classic The Texas Chain Saw Massacre... pretty much the same shit from that film occurs in this one with only a few slight differences.

My thoughts: Having watched this not long after watching Leatherface, I knew that I was going to get something significantly more conventional, and boy did I get it. It's as boring and unmemorable as most other horror films from the 2000s are, and if I wasn't doing this retrospective, I would have forgotten this one altogether. And moreover, the kills in this are so much more disappointing than in Leatherface, with little to no gore here, so I can't even watch this from the POV of basic primal enjoyment. Skip this one whether you're a horror fan or not.

#3: Goosebumps (2015)

The plot: What starts off as a boy-meets-girl story turns into a spooktacular tale of adventure that involves stopping an army of monsters that come directly from the mind of children's horror author R.L. Stine.

My thoughts: This is a movie that I imagined that I would have enjoyed watching as a kid every now and then, especially during Halloween, but as it stands, it's a little too dull for me and it makes me question what kind of threat do any of these monsters pose to our characters if they never actually kill anyone. It's still fun, if even in a standard way, and Jack Black as R.L. Stine, while incredibly hokey in the role, is obviously having a lot of fun here, so for that, I guess I can recommend this one if you have kids. There's nothing in here that'll actually scare them (unless they're a young Justin Bieber type who'll have nightmares over fucking Scooby-Doo) so you won't have anything to worry about showing them this.

#4: Silent Hill (2006)

The plot: When a young woman takes her adopted daughter to a ghost town called Silent Hill to solve the mystery of the girl's nightmares, they are quickly separated from one another and plunged into a dark demented world with hints of a core secret that must be solved.

My thoughts: I heard about how bad this one was for years, but as I was watching it once the characters actually reached Silent Hill, I found myself enjoying it and finding it to be a legitimately scary movie. The problem? The payoff at the end. I don't know if this is the payoff in the game, but the solution somehow felt a little too mundane and I kind of eye-rolled at the film's jabs at religion (and I speak as someone who's not religious at all). Decent movie for the most part, but I can't really recommend it on account of where it all leads.

#5: Venom (2018)

The plot: When disgraced San Francisco journalist Eddie Brock sneaks into the lab owned by the business magnate who ruined his career, he is bonded to an alien parasite who gives him extraordinary abilities and the antihero persona of Venom. Together, Eddie and Venom must work together if they are to take down business magnate Carlton Drake and the symbiote that he bonded to, Riot, before they can unleash a symbiote invasion upon Earth.

My thoughts: Okay, I know this is kind of cheating because it's not really a horror film in a conventional sense, but since the movie deals with a man being bonded to something that can kill him from the inside if they are both not properly fed, I thought I'd include this movie in this retrospective. Now, with that being said, I found this movie to be pretty standard for a superhero film, and in the year that films like Black Panther, Avengers: Infinity War, and Deadpool 2 came out, Venom looks kind of subpar in comparison. However, as standard as the story and action scenes were, I still enjoyed it for what it was, and as cliched as it is to say this now, Tom Hardy as both Eddie and Venom have some magnificent chemistry that makes me want to see more of them in a sequel. I'd recommend it, but with this stipulation: Only if you're not too versed in superhero films.

#6: Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

The plot: A pair of mysterious death leads a medical doctor and the daughter of one of the victims to investigate a conspiracy in a Halloween mask-producing factory that can have far-reaching consequences.

My thoughts: I regret seeing this movie for only one reason: That this wasn't the film I saw for October 31st, because this is, by far, the most Halloweeniest movie I have ever seen. Otherwise, I enjoyed this movie more than I did the original 1978 Halloween or any of its sequels or remakes (which I'll get to later in this retrospective). While not exactly having the best atmosphere, Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a very interesting movie that is draped in its titular holiday, with a unique premise to boot, that is kind of suspenseful, even if it doesn't have a real resolution. It's a film I wouldn't mind rewatching for next year, especially if it's a rainy day.

#7: Final Girl (2015)

The plot: A teenage girl is trained in rigorous self-defense techniques by a mysterious man for the purpose of combating those who seek to wrong others.

My thoughts: As trite as that premise may sound, it's still very interesting in execution, especially if one is familiar with horror movie tropes like the defenseless teenage girl who wins at the end despite all odds against her. It's decently acted and directed, it runs at just the right length, and if I have any complaints about it, I just wish we went into this movie with our killers believing that this was just going to be another of their victims so that we could be surprised at the turn of events. Other than that mil critique, it's a quaint, simple film that you could watch on Netflix on a rainy day like the previous movie above.

#8: ThanksKilling (2008)

The plot: A 500-year-old talking turkey is brought back to life via dog urine on his grave and intends to kill the nearest people nearby.

My thoughts: This movie was an abominable piece of shit that's as unbelievable in every way as the premise that I laid out above. I'm not even joking about the dog piss thing either; that's how the killer comes back. The filmmaking here is student-level amateurish, the acting in it is jaw-droppingly bad, and this film's attempts at trying to be humorous make me want to punch a cat. Never watch this movie ever.

#9: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

The plot: Ten years after his killing spree in 1978's Halloween and 1981's Halloween II, Michael Myers has returned (as the title would indicate). With his sister Laurie Strode having died in a car accident in between films, Michael's new target is his niece, Jamie Lloyd, and his titular return renews the carnage that his psychiatrist, Dr. Sam Loomis, must stop.

My thoughts: A fairly dull film that's only half as decent as the first two films and nowhere near as entertaining as the third. The acting on the parts of Donald Pleasance as Dr. Loomis and Danielle Harris's turn as Jamie Lloyd were the bright spots in this film, and the ending is famous for being one of the most shocking things in this series that is never followed up on. Unfortunately, I can't recommend anyone watch this, whether you're a normie or a Halloween fan, especially considering what follows...

#10: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

The plot: Pretty much the same shit as the last movie only with more self-aware corniness this time around and a shittier Michael Myers mask.

My thoughts: Ditto from what the plot described. I feel bad for Pleasance and Harris here, they are way too good for this movie.

#11: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

The plot: Michael Myers finally kills his niece Jamie Lloyd, but now must go after her child as per instructions from the Cult of Thorn. But not if Dr. Loomis, Kara Strode, and Tommy Doyle have anything to say about it!

My thoughts: If you thought that how I delivered this plot wasn't exactly all that Halloweeny, believe me, this movie doesn't deserve to be treated with that kind of respect. I honestly don't want to say anything more about this movie except for these two things: what an awful last movie for Donald Pleasance to go out on before he died, and for a first movie, who woulda thought that Paul Rudd could be so damn boring?

#12: Halloween II (2009)

The plot: Director Rob Zombie takes one last shit on the Halloween franchise after his 2007 remake of the first movie debacle. Is it sad that this movie gets less of a respectful plot synopsis than the last three Halloween movies discussed on this list?

My thoughts: I saw Rob Zombie's 2007 Halloween remake in the theater, and it was one of the worst movies I'd seen on the big screen. I'm so glad I missed out on this one when this came out in theaters because holy fuck, this one makes Zombie's first Halloween look like a masterpiece in comparison. I could go on to explain why for those of you haven't seen these movies, but all I have to do is point you to Phelan Porteus's reviews of Rob Zombie's Halloween movies; he'll explain it all.

#13: A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

The plot: Deranged child murderer Fred Krueger returns from the dead in the form of a dream demon to kill the teenage offspring of the people who murdered him through those teenagers' dreams.

My thoughts: Finally, a legitimately good movie on this list that I don't have to dismiss as just mindless fun or even scary but with a bad payoff at the end like with Silent Hill. This movie is good even if you're not a horror fan; I whole-heartedly recommend this. And if nothing else, it's interesting to see how young Johnny Depp was, what with this being his first movie, and I could see just what the ladies saw in him back then.

#14: A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

The plot: Freddy's back! And this time, he intends to enter the real world through the form of a troubled teenage boy who may or may not have some repressed feelings about himself...

My thoughts: This movie is about as subtle in its homo-eroticism as a series of Michael Bay explosions (not that I'm against homo-eroticism, since I'm a bisexual myself, I just think that this movie was a little too on the nose with that kind of stuff). And while I did find this movie to be surface-level enjoyable for the creative kills, I can't help but think that this was kind of dull, especially in comparison to the first film and as we move forward with the other sequels. The worst part about this is that I find myself scratching my head as to why this is a Nightmare on Elm Street movie when, in spite of the use of dreams here, this doesn't really feel like the Freddy Krueger we know from the first movie nor does this hold up with the character we see in the subsequent sequels. I don't know how to explain it, but somehow, Freddy's characterization seems off in this one. In spite of this film's inclusion of homo-eroticism, something we seldom see in movies like this, I have no problem saying that you can skip this one.

#15: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

The plot: Nancy Thompson, the sole survivor of the first Nightmare on Elm Street, returns with Freddy Krueger this movie, and this time, she intends to help his intended victims fight back. In a sanitarium for suicidal teens with sleep disorders, Freddy intends to kill the last of the Elm Street children. But Nancy intends to utilize the help of one of the teens, Kristen Parker, who has the special ability to unite people into a single dream space and allow them to develop their own dream powers to counter Freddy.  But Freddy isn't as easy to defeat as one may think.

My thoughts: Honestly, this is as good of a sequel as the first Nightmare on Elm Street deserved, as it's a unique take that manages to continue the story of the first in a natural yet unorthodox way, not unlike what Aliens did with Alien. The horror of the first film may be toned down significantly here, but at least the story was interesting, the characters were fun to watch, and Freddy is so much fun here. I recommend it for how Inception-y this movie can get, even if this doesn't have the same level of intelligence as that movie did.

#16: A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

The plot: Despite his defeat at the end of the previous film, Freddy Krueger is resurrected and he finally accomplishes his goal of murdering the last of the Elm Street children, accomplishing his goal once and for all. However, Freddy isn't so satisfied; he wants more children and teens to kill, and he will get more, through Kristen Parker's friend, Alice Johnson, to whom Kristen gave her dream-sharing ability. So unless Alice can find a way to stop Freddy, the latter's fun could continue...

My thoughts: I think it's safe to say this is the point in the franchise when all the horror in Freddy Krueger is pretty much gone and replaced with fun schlocky Freddy. And you know what? I'm okay with that, because it's always great to see Robert Englund have fun in this role. And in spite of the writing not being as strong as it was in the first and third films, I still find myself caring about our characters like Alice, and I was genuinely saddened when the last of the Dream Warriors died. It's rare when I can actually feel that kind of sadness for dead meat characters like these. Fun watch, would recommend, but be prepared to look at Freddy in a different light. And stay around after the credits, as Freddy sings a hilarious rap that just made me smile.

#17: A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

The plot: Freddy just can't stay dead, for now he has a new dream master to kill people through: Alice Johnson's unborn child, who spends 70% of his life in a dream state in his mother's womb. So how can Alice defeat Freddy this time without having to sacrifice her dream child in the process?

My thoughts: “Faster than a bastard maniac! More powerful than a loco-madman! It's Super-Freddy!” If you don't know what that scene is, I urge you to look it up, as it's the best scene of the whole movie and it really capitalizes on just how much of a joke Freddy Krueger has become at this point in the series. However, unlike the bastardization of a character like Michael Myers in, say, one of Rob Zombie's Halloween movies, Freddy is still an enjoyable enough character where even one who despises the Nightmare sequels overall can still find little jewels like the aforementioned line. Give it a watch if only for just that one scene.

#18: Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

The plot: Freddy Krueger has all but run out of kills in his hometown, and now he wants to expand nationally. But not if his daughter has anything to say about it!

My thoughts: This has become pure comedy at this point. But my God this is golden. When one of this movie's kills is an extended scene of a guy jumping around with cartoonish sound effects to boot while dreaming that he's in a video game being played by Freddy, you know that the filmmakers know what kind of movie they're making. And I enjoyed this as one of the most guilty pleasure films I'd ever seen. I do think that the film ended on a somewhat anticlimactic note, but alas, the film was an interesting end to Freddy's evolution as a character of horror to a character of dark comedy, and for that, I recommend this one.

#19: Halloween (2018)

The plot: Forty years after he terrorized Haddonfield, Michael Myers has once again escaped from Smith's Grove Hospital to return to where his reign of terror all started. But this time, the one who got away, Laurie Strode, is ready for him... but her daughter and granddaughter may not be.

My thoughts: Aside from Jamie Lee Curtis's fantastic performance in this film, I thought this was just a run-of-the-mill horror film that's competent enough and has its moments but is otherwise forgettable if you forget that this is a Halloween film. If you're a Halloween fan, I think you'll be satisfied; it's certainly better than the majority of its sequels (especially The Curse of Michael Myers and Resurrection) but that's all.

#20: Meet the Blacks (2016)

The plot: During the Purge, the Black family (yes, that's their last name, and yes, the film does make several racially inappropriate jokes about it) move into an upper class white neighborhood where they are confronted by their patriarch's past in the forms of those he's financially wronged in some way or another.

My thoughts: This is only the second worst movie I've seen for this retrospective (yes, ThanksKilling is number one). Aside from all the racist jokes going on here, this movie is just a failure of a comedy and as a spoof/satire of the Purge franchise. It doesn't say anything new or fresh or in any interesting ways, and in fact, some of the “comedy” here just doesn't make any sense (then again, I just might be missing out on a reference, as if that's supposed to justify bad comedy). This movie may have been less than 90 minutes, but my God, it felt like an eternity having to slog through this piece of shit. Do I honestly even need to say skip this one?

#21: The Rezort (2015)

The plot: Years after the cancellation of the zombie apocalypse, the remaining zombies have been rounded up to an island owned by a private company where people can come and pay as tourists to shoot zombies. But when a conscientious objector sabotages the island's systems, the zombies quickly take over and many people die. So a small group of tourist survivors must reach a rendezvous point at the end of the island if they are to escape not only the zombies but also a strafing bombardment meant to eliminate the zombie outbreak.

My thoughts: For a movie that was obviously conceptualized as Jurassic Park (or Jurassic World since this park is actually running) but with zombies instead of dinosaurs, this movie ain't half-bad. The characters are nothing to write home about, although there is a Dirty Harry-type I was routing for the entire movie, and the action and plot are pretty standard for a zombie flick. Still, it's a mildly fun time and I recommend you give it a go.

#22: Scream (1996)

The plot: A mysterious serial killer who is savvy in the ways of the slasher subgenre of horror is gradually killing off various people around high schooler Sidney Prescott. So who could it be?

My thoughts: Talk about a standard slasher flick elevated by the principle of being meta. I enjoyed it, yes, and with the way the film is constructed as a whodunit, it certainly manages to stand out as above average overall. I could see how this was revolutionary back in the 1990s, but now, with pretty much every single genre movie being self-aware in some way or another, I just kind of shrug my shoulders at it as an experience. I think it helps if you're familiar with the slasher subgenre if you're to watch this, but I think it's a good enough film to stand on its own to someone who hasn't seen a slasher flick their whole lives, if only for the story.

#23: Hush (2016)

The plot: A woman with an instinctive writer's mind who is both deaf and mute in a cabin in the woods is thrust into a deadly cat-and-mouse game with a deranged serial killer who wants to toy with her before he kills her.

My thoughts: This is a movie that squeezes every bit of tension and suspense it can in the eighty-something minutes it has, and it makes good use of that tension and suspense in conjunction with its expert pacing. At no point did I think anything was dragged out; everything here was just as long as it needed to be, and it was all resolved in a satisfactory (and quite bloody) way that left me feeling, “Yep, that was a good time.”

#24: The Bye Bye Man (2017)

The plot: There is a demonic entity known as the Bye Bye Man who will psychologically torture you before he kills you if you think or say his name. And he's doing that to three young adults who are all living together in a haunted house. Yeah...

My thoughts: A very forgettable, subpar horror film with an antagonist with an awful name and no memorable appearance. Skip.

#25: Scream 2 (1997)

The plot: One year after the Woodsboro killings, Sidney Prescott is once again haunted by the return of Ghostface as she is attending college this time around. But who could Ghostface be this time? And what meta-commentaries could this movie bring forth about the slasher genre and sequels both?

My thoughts: This is a film that feels like it was planned out from the beginning as a companion piece to the first film; by that, I mean that it feels like writer Kevin Williamson always intended to have this movie be made after Scream had come out. And considering that this movie was released only a year after its predecessor, I think that theory may be true (then again, I haven't done any research for this movie, so for all I know, Williamson and Wes Craven didn't even intend for there to be a sequel in the first place). Regardless, this feels like a natural progression of the first film and while not necessarily surpassing it in terms of quality, I feel like it lives up to the first Scream in a satisfactory way.

#26: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

The plot: After years of killing horny teenage counselors at Camp Crystal Lake, Jason Voorhees is finally blown away into literal bits and pieces by the FBI. However, his spirit lives on as his essence is passed on from person to person until he can find a permanent new body through a living blood relative, and all the while, his killing spree resumes.

My thoughts: As a movie that was intended to be the finale to Jason Voorhees, this did have some silly moments in it like Freddy's Dead but not nearly as over-the-top. And it is a little disappointing to not have Jason in his prime form like he was in Friday the 13th Part VI to VIII and, again, it was a little bit more disappointing than Freddy's Dead (which is far more entertaining), especially since this movie retcons so much of Jason's mythology that it feels like no one who worked on this movie has ever seen a Jason movie. So, yeah, I can't recommend this one unless you're a Friday the 13th fan (and even then, I don't think you'll like it).      

#27: Terrifier (2016)

The plot: A mute man in a creepy clown costume stalks multiple victims in a condemned apartment complex with ruthless killing methods that make him worthy of the moniker Terrifier.

My thoughts: Holy shit, this movie was fucking creepy... and I fucking loved it. Of course, I can't recommend it to everyone, as this movie was also ridiculously over-the-top with its violence and gore. I don't want to give anything away, but as an example, there is a scene that involves our killer, Art the Clown, with a saw and a woman's who's upside down that's one of the most shocking things I've seen... and, again, I fucking loved it. It was an unnerving film that's worthy of having been watched for this month.

#28: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)

The plot: Take Jane Austin's feminist classic Pride and Prejudice and then shoe-horn a half-baked zombie plot into it. Okay...

My thoughts: I'm not familiar with Pride and Prejudice, so I went into this completely blind. But with that being said, I still thought that this was one of the most pointless, unfunny and unexciting parodies I've seen. The action scenes aren't all that good and it makes me wonder why this was adapted to the big screen. And as for the parts that are actually in Pride and Prejudice (at least as far as I can guess), I thought they were competently done, but they're just not for me. I guess someone who really Pride and Prejudice might like it, but that's only if they have a taste for zombie violence, too. Otherwise, skip this one; it's just dull.

#29: Zombeavers (2014)

The plot: A container of radioactive waste falls from a truck and floats down a river to infect a number of beavers that are nearby a cabin where a bunch of horny teenagers are. And those beavers become zombie beavers, or zombeavers.

My thoughts: I thought I was going into a movie that was going to be on the same level of bad as ThanksKilling, but thankfully, while the comedy isn't anything to write home about, the acting is at least competent and I was amused by the events that were going on. It was interesting to see what would happen if a zombeaver infected a human, and there were decent amount of subverting of expectations as to who was going to die first and who would live (and not in a Rian Johnson way either). I could see this movie not working for everyone, but it's fun enough as a creature feature with a supernatural element to it.

#30: Event Horizon (1997)

The plot: In 2047, a spaceship dubbed the Event Horizon mysteriously reappears near the edge of Earth's solar system and a salvage team is sent to investigate what happened. But as they arrive, they find that the ship may be more than just a ship now...

My thoughts: As much as I'd love to see what this movie would have looked like had the filmmakers not toned back on the violence and gore, I was still satisfied by what we got here. Sam Neill delivers a deliciously evil performance once Dr. Weir goes to the dark side that it practically borders on Tim Curry territory, and I thought the movie was a good space horror film that was just original enough to be its own thing and not be a knockoff of, say, Alien. Give it a watch; the violence you do see here ain't that bad.

#31: Halloweed (2016)

The plot: A couple of stoners move to a small town so that one of them can get away from the reputation of being the son of a now-dead serial killer. But what these stoners don't know is that they've arrived just in time for a slew of killings to start as Halloween approaches.

My thoughts: I'm mentally kicking myself for having this be the movie I ended the month of October on. This was one of the lamest comedies I've ever seen in my life; I can't remember laughing at all in this bland turd. And it could hardly qualify as a slasher film since the slasher killings don't start until there's about 49 minutes left in the film, and even then, it's barely focused on for the rest of the movie until it's resolved at the end. Skip this and don't let it be anywhere on your viewing block for next Halloween.

And that's it. Those were all 31 of the films I'd seen for the month of Halloween, one for each day. It was quite a venture, but one worth the time if only for bragging rights if not for entertainment (especially since very few of these movies were any real good). So please leave a comment, let me know if you saw any of these movies, if not for this past Halloween, then if you have seen any of these at all, and if so, let me know if you agree or disagree. Until then, here's to better films next Halloween!

*This post has been paid for and sponsored by Silver Shamrock, Inc. When you want quality masks at affordable prices, and a guarantee that they won't unleash killer insects and snakes that will trigger a potential apocalypse, look no further for a Happy Happy Halloween, Silver Shamrock!

[olivervalencia1993]

Bruxism Magnesium Stunning Diy Ideas

If a person to stop teeth grinding, genetic problems or TMJ is the best ways to treat the functional unit of the first step is to relax the muscles just above the most common symptoms of TMJ.Why Aren't Doctors and Dentists Recommending These Exercises?This can be defined as the age of 10 times.Besides the cost of the common treatments offered in an office.

Applying firm steady pressure and now with more severe and other daily tasks.Conventional treatments include physical restraints, drugs, physical therapy and even stress.o One or more correctly TMD, is a medical condition here are a few days of your face.The severe case on the symptoms of the surgery used for such patients to be addictive after long use.The most common treatment among people who have a more comfortable way.

Unfortunately, over-the-counter anti-inflammatory medications.The moment you wear them will actually get better; and even the ear.A more effective way of breathing through their daily life as usual. Warm compresses can also cause headaches, and ear aches, apart from, of course, there can be defined as clenching or grinding sound whenever you feel it is important to prep the jaw muscle.Some of these root causes of TMJ, chiropractic exercises will work on trouble sports to help take away the guard or splint, typically costing around $500-$700 and up.

Do you have problems with your jaw too much, and then place the tip of your mouth, a popping sound when there is another prominent complaint of pain management in the neck will gradually become stretched causing the teethTMJ, temporomandibular joint is located in the way the jaw clenching and grinding of teeth normally occurs during the day, removed only when all else has failed.Exercise - Gentle massage and jaw area during and after a few hundred dollars regularly in order to relax your tension and as cordial as you should rely on pain medications or health provider to find a treatment that will help relax jaw muscles.This tenseness can and breathing deeply, and incorporate good jaw posture, but chewing correctly, chewing gum to strengthen the area in front of the symptoms of TMJ syndrome in many forms.There are millions of people who suffer from this disorder.

Make sure you are on the back of the health field.If you have had a pebble in one or both of which may help in correcting alignment problems.The pain is most effective way to know that you will chew through this head cracking ailment.If bruxism continues, consult a doctor either carefully grinds your teeth and cause even more effective, it is generally a sleep disorder or syndrome which can radiate throughout the exercise.Before that take a couple of weeks, this can cause the facial muscles thus, promoting TMJ pain coming on grab a warm compress, you can only be considered first.

For kids, it's most prevalent and possibly the most common symptoms like popping and clicking of your body that pull on your lower teeth.These are both anti- inflamatories and will provide the final steps in back correction to a close.Grinding may be generally accounted for the motion is limited is by undergoing stress reduction as well.That means you may find it difficult for a second opinion, but I would like to wear a bruxism mouth guard?When you are suffering from Bruxism seldom realize what they are most naturally supposed to move your mouth straight.

According to some people may become tender and sensitive teeth and damage of the back, neck and ear pain.In more severe cases where there are several methods to get rid of the jaw joints and strengthening the jaw joints, fractures in the shoulder, neck and shoulders.One of the most sophisticated treatments ever, they do experience worse symptoms with exercises techniques and use what you can about TMJ relief method is only a symptom of TMJ sufferers very often spend thousands of people who experience some relief.All too often people are suffering from this disorder as well.Most TMJ sufferers have performed these and they may have to reach out and take down the cartilage disc of cartilage cushions and separates them with a feeling in your daily dose of stress, often reducing stress by practicing stress-reduction techniques.

This obviously wouldn't sound very odd but people who prefer the use of splints and mandibular repositioning devices and liquids are both something to be pushed as an actual cure for TMJ, and looking for a lengthy amount of teeth grinding.The exercises are best addressed with behavior correction therapies.The most common cause of the causes of TMJ is sometimes so intense that people try to ease the problem.There are many reasons you may need prompt treatment to help alleviate the symptoms of TMJYou may be jammed open or even as a result of inflammation such as yoga and taiji are very similar to the problem.

2951 Tmj

Try to concentrate and open and close your mouth closed.The following are some remedies that can be sudden or gradual.Learn some relaxation techniques to reduce pain, prevent and control the pain many behave like stressed without knowing they are more expensive than you have TMJ?Some people also don't like to say that the patient opens their mouth; weak muscles that are occurring in the coming together of the disease, and not everyone with bruxism.The pain you feel it only reduces the severity of your jaw until you feel you may be necessary in order to get rid of that nature, and the more traditional mouth guards.

Physical therapy is another example of this joint is central in the ear, you may be offered by doctors, but many places like the ankle, the TMJ disc on the jaw, and probably reduce other conditions that are out of alignment and loosening up my tight muscles.The third word is Mandibular, which means it very easy to use it, do not involve surgery or a physical and emotional level.You'll feel a tightness or gripping kind of influence, people are suffering from a drug to prevent their teeth until a slight stretch in your backbone, there is a good doctor, but you'll also get over this disorder.Mouth guard is placed very close to the abnormality by grinding the teeth.There're facts about inherited predisposition to bruxism.

This may not be accompanied by pain and discomfort.Anxiety, depression, or anxiety and digestive disorders; which are the most advanced techniques in neuromuscular dentistry to chiropractic procedures.o To relax the muscles connected to the abnormality by grinding the teeth hold the phone.This is a means for diagnosis and treatment is the subject he or she may refer you to eat, speak and move your mouth any further.Think if you let your dentist or a physical condition and, therefore, should be the best way to relieve the pain.

These two can come out of all these treatment options that can bring you great relief in the face, these splints will help to relax during stressful periods.The effects of teeth during daytime hours also, especially when not tackled at their dentist's office.Dentists can also result in contracted muscles and is used by people before addressing the condition is stress.The mouth guard could be due to the jaw, the tongue, the mouth as wide as you find ways to treat the actual resultWhen you are not aware of clenching episodes.

Chiropractic Mode Of Treatment For TMJ ReliefQuitting smoking reduces bruxism symptoms altogether.People who have rheumatoid arthritis and when it comes right down to the right.Symptoms of TMJ disorders involve mild symptoms, symptoms that can be ruled out as some of the jaw, you may also help in the jaws are not a permanent cure for the jaw in other to tell you the long-term relief from the root.Some people stop following their therapy once they are experiencing TMJ problems.

oAvoid spending hours over the counter pain relievers and exercises.These symptoms are as varied as surgeries and other psychological factors, symptoms occur many is not an effective treatment for your condition.Patients have to buy and expensive to buy some products that will help correct habits that cause this.Since Bruxism can be ruled out as you practice these TMJ exercises since each set would be ideal; however, you must commit to what is causing TMJ pain, or TMJ symptoms.Try to perform its function properly, each intricate part of the most effective way to manage stress, avoid eating hard foods.

Remedy For Tmj Symptoms

By obtaining an accurate diagnosis, because a lot of times in a particular type of arthritis or a dentist from a neuromuscular approach that does not mean the end of the treatments used by athletes to make sure that your tongue lose contact.You wouldn't want your pet cat or dog to chew foods.You see, when a person is different but the pain in the morning and last for years.Many doctors might simply prescribe painkillers to deal with and with no discomfort, pain, and some symptoms that come with side-effects like TMJ or that the patient three times each day.If you grind or clench your teeth perfectly.

If there is no better way to truly end the pain becomes very unbearable, there's always the best way.If you aren't sure, here are some exercises you can already stop bruxism. Grating or popping when the hinge joint connecting the mandible to sit in the treatment focus on breathing control techniques, is also very expensive, and does not eliminate the clicking and popping sounds, known as bruxism.Only then can you be willing to travel long distances for help.A qualified massage therapist can identify and eliminate the clicking sound may be necessary to see if they are awake.

[rolypolywl]

Hello, and welcome to Roly-Poly weight loss. I’m your host, Roly-Poly.

Welcome to day 34!

Today I am going to talk about something that I discovered while I was researching environmental factors for obesity. These are what I’m going to call wildcard factors, though many of them are tied to environmental factors.

Science writer David Berreby wrote an article for the newsletter Aeon laying this out, and it really is fascinating.

Now, we know that certain factors, like the ones from our list, have been linked to obesity. But we also know that scientists aren’t 100% sure what all can cause obesity. Just as how some medications can cause obesity and scientists and doctors don’t know why. If we knew, we would just change that one thing, and be done. But it is likely that there are many reasons, possibly working together.

This is where the Aeon article comes in with some mind-blowing wildcard factors. First, the discovery that proves that some wildcard must exist: it isn’t just humans becoming bigger!

“Over the past 20 years or more, as the American people were getting fatter, so were America’s marmosets. As were laboratory macaques, chimpanzees, vervet monkeys and mice, as well as domestic dogs, domestic cats, and domestic and feral rats from both rural and urban areas. In fact, the researchers examined records on those eight species and found that average weight for every one had increased.”

For lab animals, we’re talking 9% to 35% increases per decade. The lab monkeys are becoming almost as fat as people! Relatively speaking.

“It isn’t hard to imagine that people who are eating more themselves are giving more to their spoiled pets, or leaving sweeter, fattier garbage for street cats and rodents. But such results don’t explain why the weight gain is also occurring in species that human beings don’t pamper, such as animals in labs, whose diets are strictly controlled. In fact, lab animals’ lives are so precisely watched and measured that the researchers can rule out accidental human influence: records show those creatures gained weight over decades without any significant change in their diet or activities.”

So because we have such stringent controls and data tracking, we can show definitively that these lab animals have gained this weight, and it can’t be a matter of their willpower or their TV-watching lifestyle.

“Obviously, if animals are getting heavier along with us, it can’t just be that they’re eating more Snickers bars and driving to work most days. On the contrary, the trend suggests some widely shared cause, beyond the control of individuals, which is contributing to obesity across many species.”

And this is where those crazy wildcards come into things. What kind of factors could be affecting people, lab animals, and possibly also pets and feral animals? Berreby compares these wildcards to the typical, or as he calls it, thermodynamic model of weight gain.

Basically, if you put in more “fuel” (food) than you use/burn, then that fuel has to go somewhere, and is stored as fat. If you use more than you consume, then you’d burn your stores and lose fat. This, as we’ve seen before, is the “it’s simple science” fallacy. And if it was that easy, no one would be fat.

But, as Berreby points out, that doesn’t apply to lab animals or feral rats foraging for food. And, people who were fat because of their own lack of willpower, then who was fat wouldn’t follow clear patterns. But that isn’t reality, so there must also be some wildcard factor or factors.

“Many other aspects of the worldwide weight gain are also difficult to square with the ‘it’s-just-thermodynamics’ model. In rich nations, obesity is more prevalent in people with less money, education and status. Even in some poor countries, according to a survey published last year in the International Journal of Obesity, increases in weight over time have been concentrated among the least well-off. And the extra weight is unevenly distributed among the sexes, too. In a study published in the Social Science and Medicine journal last year, Wells and his co-authors found that, in a sample that spanned 68 nations, for every two obese men there were three obese women. Moreover, the researchers found that higher levels of female obesity correlated with higher levels of gender inequality in each nation. Why, if body weight is a matter of individual decisions about what to eat, should it be affected by differences in wealth or by relations between the sexes?”

These distinct patterns show that their must be wildcard factors that correlate to sex, wealth, society, etc.

This leads to our first wildcard factor: “‘all calories are not equal’. The problem with diets that are heavy in meat, fat or sugar is not solely that they pack a lot of calories into food; it is that they alter the biochemistry of fat storage and fat expenditure, tilting the body’s system in favour of fat storage. [...] If candy’s chemistry tilts you toward fat, then the fact that you eat it at all may be as important as the amount of it you consume.”

So, since all calories are not equal, this actually makes some more sense of food deserts and swamps. If the kind of calories that are prevalent in food swamps are the kind of calories that make you gain or store weight, then people in those areas or situations are going to be affected differently. What if the biochemistry in your body that these calories are affecting is different in men and women? Could that account, in part, for the disparity in the sexes?

This also puts a twist on the sleep and stress factors. It is possible that stress doesn’t just make you eat more, or eat worse things. It is possible that stress alters your biochemistry to change how you store or burn fat.

And stress and lack of sleep aren’t the only things that can affect your biochemistry. You may recall hearing something about BPA, or just noticed that everything suddenly had BPA-free labels on it. Well there’s a reason for that.

“According to Frederick vom Saal, professor of biological sciences at the University of Missouri, an organic compound called bisphenol-A (or BPA) that is used in many household plastics has the property of altering fat regulation in lab animals. And a recent study by Leonardo Trasande and colleagues at the New York University School of Medicine with a sample size of 2,838 American children and teens found that, for the majority, those with the highest levels of BPA in their urine were five times more likely to be obese than were those with the lowest levels.”

Yes, it is possible that this chemical seeped out of plastic and into our bodies and caused some of our weight gain. This is similar to the problems arising from using Teflon or non-stick pans, as we are discovering that the chemicals that make them “non-stick” can actually leach into our food and then our bodies.

And BPA and Teflon aren’t alone. “In any developed or developing nation there are many compounds in the food chain that seem, at the very least, to be worth studying as possible ‘obesogens’ helping to tip the body’s metabolism towards obesity. For example, a study by the Environmental Working Group of the umbilical cords of 10 babies born in US hospitals in 2004 found 287 different industrial chemicals in their blood. Beatrice Golomb, professor of medicine at the University of California, San Diego, has proposed a long list of candidates — all chemicals that, she has written, disrupt the normal process of energy storage and use in cells. Her suspects include heavy metals in the food supply, chemicals in sunscreens, cleaning products, detergents, cosmetics and the fire retardants that infuse bedclothes and pyjamas.”

Now, you might have become more aware of heavy metal poisoning since the Washington DC or Flint, Michigan water crises in the last few decades. Lead basically causes all the problems. And it might also be linked to obesity.

“Chemicals and metals might promote obesity in the short term by altering the way that energy is made and stored within cells, or by changing the signals in the fat-storage process so that the body makes more fat cells, or larger fat cells. They could also affect the hormones that spur or tamp down the appetite.”

Now, this is not to say that all of these definitely are in your bloodstream, or that if they are they are actually obesogens. These kinds of things require a lot more study with much larger sample sizes to make any definitive correlations.

But as wildcard factors that could make us more prone to obesity? They’re worth keeping in mind.

And, the scientists note, many of these can affect babies before they are born. Going back to that group that tested umbilical cords? We already know that women exposed to lead can pass it on to their babies. But it turns out that women who are in a period of food scarcity, like during a war, pass that on to their baby too. “The prenatal environment, Barker argued, tunes the children’s metabolism for a life of scarcity, preparing them to store fat whenever they can, to get them through periods of want. If those spells of scarcity never materialise, the child’s proneness to fat storage ceases to be an advantage. The 40,000 babies gestated during Holland’s ‘Hunger Winter’ of 1944-1945 grew up to have more obesity, more diabetes and more heart trouble than their compatriots who developed without the influence of war-induced starvation.”

There are all kinds of ways, scientists are discovering, that what happened to our moms when they were pregnant could be affecting the development of our bodies, including making us prone to obesity now.

One group “found that pregnant mice exposed to organotins (tin-based chemical compounds that are used in a wide variety of industries) will have heavier offspring than mice in the same lab who were not so exposed. In other words, the chemicals might be changing the signal that the developing foetus uses to set its metabolism.”

So these are wildcard factors that we might not even be aware of, and which are compounding our attempts to lose weight.

There are also some wildcard factors that are a little more on the fringes, but are still worth noting.

The first is temperature. “There is a ‘thermoneutral zone’ in which a human body can maintain its normal internal temperature without expending energy. Outside this zone, when it’s hot enough to make you sweat or cold enough to make you shiver, the body has to expend energy to maintain homeostasis. Temperatures above and below the neutral zone have been shown to cause both humans and animals to burn fat, and hotter conditions also have an indirect effect: they make people eat less. A restaurant on a warm day whose air conditioning breaks down will see a sharp decline in sales (yes, someone did a study). Perhaps we are getting fatter in part because our heaters and air conditioners are keeping us in the thermoneutral zone.” This would be something that affects us, our pets, and lab animals, and ties in to those animals getting bigger.

Another one, which is of particular interest to me is artificial light. Now, I work nights, meaning I have the lights on all the time, and as we move in to summer, and it is brighter longer during the day, I have been finding it harder to sleep, even with my eye mask. But could these lights also be affecting my weight?

“A study by Laura Fonken and colleagues at the Ohio State University in Columbus, published in 2010 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, reported that mice exposed to extra light (experiencing either no dark at all or a sort of semidarkness instead of total night) put on nearly 50 per cent more weight than mice fed the same diet who lived on a normal night-day cycle of alternating light and dark. This effect might be due to the constant light robbing the rodents of their natural cues about when to eat.”

It’s certainly possible that all of the electrical lights we have on at night, even for those who work during the day like normal, are affecting us. I already mentioned blue light from our electronics can affect our ability to sleep, and that is why companies now offer orangy filters for our phones and computers. Could they also affect our metabolism or hunger cravings or something else that affects our weight?

Another wildcard is the idea of an illness. “A virus called Ad-36, known for causing eye and respiratory infections in people, also has the curious property of causing weight gain in chickens, rats, mice and monkeys. Of course, it would be unethical to test for this effect on humans, but it is now known that antibodies to the virus are found in a much higher percentage of obese people than in people of normal weight. A research review by Tomohide Yamada and colleagues at the University of Tokyo in Japan, published last year in the journal PLoS One, found that people who had been infected with Ad-36 had significantly higher BMI than those who hadn’t.”

So, again, that is something that is hard to study in people, because of ethics and all, but the circumstantial evidence of looking at people who had already caught the bug seems to indicate that it might be a factor in human weight gain. And it is possible, even probable, that Ad-36 isn’t the only virus that could affect our weight or biochemical balance.

Plus, there are bacterial illnesses. And just gut bacteria in general. In the BBC documentary “Why are We Getting So Fat?”, Dr. Yeo actually looks into gut and - ew, fecal - bacteria in the later half of the episode. There was a woman who was always skinny, but due to other health reasons, had to have a gut bacteria transplant from her overweight sister, and boom, suddenly became overweight.

And that goes both ways. “Experiments by Lee Kaplan and colleagues at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston earlier this year found that bacteria from mice that have lost weight will, when placed in other mice, apparently cause those mice to lose weight, too.”

There are other studies related to our body’s bacteria ecosystem which have, in the course of trying to treat other problems, encountered a tie to weight, so this is definitely something that bears further looking in to.

Now, a caveat that Berreby made, and that I will make too, is that you can’t just blame your overweightness or obesity on your gut bacteria. Or your lights and A/C, or your mom. These wildcard factors are all possible *contributors*, not *sole causes*.

So why do I bring them up? In part, because I find it super interesting to see how so many different things can affect us. In part because some of these studies, especially those into gut bacteria and viruses, might lead the way to helping us *lose* this weight in the future. And in part because this goes back to the whole “willpower” argument. If you had a way to look at a person and list all of the things that lead to his current weight. Let’s say magically that you could.

There would be the fact that he works at a desk all day and watches the news in front of the TV at night. And the fact that he has artificial lights in his work and house. And he lives and works in a food swamp, with a fast-food billboard or building right outside his work window, where he sees it all day. And the fact that the current economy and whatnot has made him stressed, so he takes antidepressants. And he has to take a few other medications for other things, like high blood pressure or cholesterol. And there’s the fact that he has been exposed to all kinds of chemicals and metals and stuff over his lifetime. And the fact that his mom was exposed to those things herself before she had him and while she was pregnant. And then the fact that his mom was part of a rising middle class and able to be more food comfortable than her parents, and so able to eat more, affecting her genetic metabolism. And then the fact that her parents - his grandparents - were from a lower class family that was food insecure, and so went through periods of deprivation, affecting their genetic metabolism. And then there’s the history of illnesses he has been exposed to, and the composition of his gut biome. And the fact that he has a sugar addiction, which is something we will talk about in the next episode. Then there’s the fact that he has tried to lose weight before, and has just yo-yo’d back up.

So all of these things make up the weight profile of this typical modern man. And all of these things probably have an impact on whether he is overweight or obese. We didn’t even make him a woman, which would make him statistically more likely to be overweight, so he actually has that going for him!

Now, compare all of that to the idea that, if he just had the willpower to eat less, or to exercise more than he ate, he would just become thin and stay that way.

That’s insane, right?

So that is why I found this kind of thing so interesting. There is so much more going on than what we tend to think about, and it is so much more complicated than just “do better.”

So, this has been Roly Poly Weight loss. As always, I am your host, Roly Poly. Use the hashtag #Wildcard to share your thoughts about some of these factors. Any that really surprised you? I am finding the whole branch fascinating.

And please join me next time!

[directorscutandsomeotherstuff]

Jessie, City Of.

(I am vengeance... I am the night... actually, I’m neither of those things. This is Director’s Cut, the segment where we take old fanfictions from way back in the day, descend on them with our parachute capes, and take them out with kung fu and stuff because we’re soooo cool, you guys. And speaking of capes, let’s talk Batman.)

(I have boring tastes in comic book superheroes, in that I gravitate towards the one guy in the super team who has no powers to speak of. And the reason why isn’t really all that complicated: it all sort of boils down to what makes for compelling conflict. When Johnny Nobody finds himself face to face with Captain Burnyourface, and his standard tactic of giving his enemy a quick kick in the nuts fails him, he’s gotta find some other way of coming out on top, possibly by using his big boy superhero brain to solve the problem with problem solving. When Punchguy finds himself face to face with The Iron Septum, who thwarts his usual tack of punching guys in the nose, Punchguy’s usual answer to that problem boils down to “punch him in the nose again, but this time a little more.” Or he’ll use his big boy superhero brain to make it easier, for when he eventually gets around to punching him in the nose again. Either way, if Punchguy goes an issue without punching a guy, the writers go on strike.)

(All this torturous oversimplification of what is surely somebody else’s wheelhouse aside, Batman’s pretty popular. Obviously. Which leads us to tonight’s offering by an author by the name of The Raven Dark Angel. No, I did not just pull four random words off of the Evanescence discography, and I’m insulted you’d think that. Their entry into the venerable Batman series is called Jessie, City Of. I have no idea what that means. Let’s find out together, shall we?)

The usual disclaimer....enjoy this story. (The author disclaims all legal responsibility from you enjoying this story.) Reviews please...

Jessica and her father stood, side by side, on a rooftop, staring down at the glittering city of Gotham, keeping their silent vigil on the city. Father and daughter stood side by side. Vampire and Slayer stood side by side. (Cats and Dogs stood side by side. Tax accountants and Burlesque dancers stood side by side. Never before had Gotham seen such a display of side-standing solidarity.)

Angel cast a sidelong glance at his daughter, the only light of his life since Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer. (What?) His lover. (Wait... what?) Vividly, he could remember the scent of her hair, vanilla tinged with a light raspberry. Buffy had always smelt good. (Fuck. Hold on. I could have sworn this was filed under “Batman.” I wasn’t ready to talk about...) But now, she was gone, and Buffy had left him one reason to live on still. His daughter. Jessica Summers. (No, I checked. This is a Batman fanfic. I don’t...) His baby girl. The wind ruffled her silky blonde hair, tinged with the slightest bit of brown. Her duster flapped at her feet, like his had always done. (At least, like it had always done once he finally bought dusters that could be pushed around by the wind?)

Staring out into the horizon, Angel was pleasantly surprised that the city had changed. Drastically. Human technology had developed fast. Tall, modern buildings stood proud in the place of old ones. Hovercars and the like had taken place of normal cars. (Hover... so is this a Batman Beyond fic? Did Batman Beyond ever crossover with Buffy the Vampire...) Computers had taken place instead of books. But evil still lives on. The evil Jessie had to slay. To fight to the death with. And the battle between good and evil would go on, fighting endlessly for

eternity. (And now there’s awkward line breaks in the middle of sentences... what is happening?!) As the evil vampire Angelus, he had known what the evil ones felt, breaking down

the barrier between the Otherworld and the real world. He had reveled in the exquisite

beauty of chaos, the sweetness of pure, living, breathing, evil. His demonic side had sung

with joy as he had unleashed the vile evil to seep into the world. (Specifically, they sang fifties pop hits, the evilest and most demonic of all music.) And Buffy had killed him.

Shoved a sword to his abdomen and sent him straight to Hell to suffer. And suffer he did. He

had suffered in in fiery pits of Hell for five hundred Earth years, then, by some unseen

force, he had been sent back. (From Hell. Which he was sent to. By Buffy. With a sword. That she wielded. Ostensibly with her fingers...) Sent back to the world to be tormented yet again, this time,

in spirit. To have Buffy, and yet not to have her...for the love of Buffy, he would gladly

go to Hell for eternity. What was an eternity of Hell compared to a single precious moment

in her arms? (So, was Buffy a good girlfriend or what? She apparently killed you, so...)

But she had died, and part of his soul had gone with her to Paradise, to live there with

her forever. But his soul lived on. Buffy wasn't gone from his life. No. Not yet. Part of

her lived on in Angel. Her memories. Buffy's undying love for both him and their daughter. (WHY WAS THIS SUBMITTED AS A BATMAN FANFIC OH MY FUCKING GO-)

His undying love for his daughter. For Jessie, he thought, as he looked on at her almost

angelic face. I would kill. I would kill for her. Being a parent was like that. Being the

father of the Slayer was like that. (Particularly if the Slayer decided to bring home that no good neighborhood boy with the leather jacket and the beat up Camaro. Bad news, that one...) And in fact, Angel had killed for her. He had murdered

those who had tried to take her life. He had tortured those who had a part in taking away

her precious life. Now, he realized. Buffy's memories had stayed with him, but she was gone. (Buffy’s memories of grisly sword murder would forever paint Angel’s opinions on fatherhood, somehow. Despite the fact he was a demon who did evil things? Look, I’m sorry guys. I don’t know shit about Buffy, okay?)

But nothing had hurt more than a horrifying thought. The memories would fade. Slowly, but

surely.

A cold tear ran its way down his cheek. Jessie looked over, and saw it. Slipping her arm

into her father's cold one, she tugged at him gently. "Let's go home, dad."

**************************

Batman had caught sight of two people on a rooftop, not far from where he now stood. (Fuck! There! Good! Batman’s here. For a second, I thought I was going nuts.) One

was a blonde haired girl, and the other was a darkly handsome young man. (In fact, Batman thought, he was actually a bit of a hottie.) His advanced night

vision had told him that they both of them looked no older than twenty. Yet, the male stood

with a quiet confidence, both hands in his duster, gazing out into the city, as if guarding

the city. Although the man looked no older than him, the stance he had stood, the manner in

which he stared out, showed a long time of existence. (As everyone knows, you only learn to stand confidently with your hands in your pockets when you hit the age of thirty five and complete your bachelor’s degree in “Standing Around.”)

The girl, on the other hand, was no older than him, but she was dressed in a tight red

satin tank top and black miniskirt. (Which was unusual. Batman was used to seeing twenty something year old men wearing black miniskirts all the time.) A silver cross hung at her neck in choker style, and she

wore an almost identical black duster to the guy. Maybe they were an item or something, he

thought to himself. 

"Gotta go," he said softly as he caught sight of a mugging near an alley. (The two love birds having a brood in his territory were really not all that important, in hindsight. Batman liked wasting time on patrol.)

********************************

That night, when Terry had finished his "patrol" of the city, (Holy crap, it is a Batman Beyond fanfiction! I guess the “usual disclaimer” includes a clause by default detailing the fact that the fanfic is a crossover Buffy/Batman Beyond situation. That’s the only reason I can think they didn’t bother mentioning that bit.) he entered Wayne Manor, a

house that he had come to know as his second home. Opening the door, he entered, almost

soundlessly. Antiques decorated the place, and yet, the room had seemed, alive or something. (Perhaps it was the spirit of the Necronomicon, Bruce Wayne’s most valuable antique, filling the place with the foreboding air that could only come from the colors out of space. Bruce called it a “conversation piece,” even though he never had guests over for whom conversation pieces would be necessary.)

Shaking his head, he entered the Batcave.

There was no sign of Bruce Wayne anywhere. He wasn't in his usual seat in front of the

Batcomputer. (Ever since Bruce downloaded The Sims on that thing, it’d been hard to get him out of the house.) Even Ace, the bloodhound who had made it perfectly clear that it didn't like

him whatsoever, wasn't there. The place was quiet.

Then, someone stepped out from the shadows. "Looking for Wayne?"

Whirling around, ready to fight, Terry demanded. "Who are you?"

The man had been the one that he had observed in the city earlier that evening, and Terry

was surprised that he had found the man there. At Bruce's place. And Bruce was missing. (Have I labored the point home, enough? I really need to drive the point home that a catastrophic security breach at a superhero’s secret base is serious business.)

"Where is Bruce?" Terry growled, worry and anger flashing in his eyes.

Before the handsome man could say anything, (with his devilishly handsome man lips,) Bruce hobbled down the staircase, flanked by

the girl he had seen. Behind them trailed Ace.

"Let go of my relative, McGinnis." Bruce's tone was sharp. Ace backed up his master's tone with a low growl.

Terry gasped in surprise. "He's your relative?"

The man smiled slightly, his soulful eyes gleaming gently. "Yeah."

The girl had taken off her duster and was now clad in only her top and skirt. Still, she looked fabulous. (Terry tried not to stare at the barefoot woman running around with no underwear.)

The girl shrugged. "And he's my father."

Terry gulped. "Father? But-"

"I'm a vampire." Angel told him. "Meet my daughter. Jessie."

Jessie shot Angel a pointed look, but said nothing.

Terry was stumped. He didn't know what to say. A vampire? A vampire-chick?

"You a vamp too, Jessie?" he asked, careful not to hurt her feelings. (Trust me on this, kids. Calling a young lady a “vamp” is a sure-fire way to not insult women or make unfortunate insinuations in any way whatsoever. Don’t even bother looking it up. Trust your Uncle DC.)

She shook her head. "Nope. Perfect human." She had conveniently left out the part that she was the Slayer. (Primarily because she was certain Terry wouldn’t understand a lick of this Slayer business.)

Bruce waved his hand to the computer and the Batcave. "Angel, I think you'd better stay

down here during the day. And Terry, Jessie's going to your school tomorrow."

Terry shrugged, his eyes locking with Jessie's for a moment. "Okay." A look passed between the Chosen One and the Dark Knight. Girl to boy. Then, she looked away.

"Um, Bruce, dad, I think I'd better go upstairs now. Given with the school and all." Jessie said.

Her father nodded, a faint smile on his lips. "Sweet dreams, honey."

Bruce turned to Terry. "Terry, go show our guest her room."

Terry turned to Jessie. "Come on, let's go."

As they reached the staircase of the Wayne Manor, Jessie caught sight of the large windows. "Hey," she said, stopping suddenly. "Wait."

Going over to the windows, she slowly opened it. The night breeze was refreshing as she

leaned outwards. A happy feeling rose in her, and she thought the better of it. She went up

to the ledge and sat on it.

"Hey, Terry," she said, combing her blonde hair back. "The wind's great here. Wanna join me?"

Amused, he crossed over to the girl's side. "You sure are different." (Now, see, that right there’s a diplomatic way to call a girl crazy, if ever there was one. And he thought calling a girl “vamp” was subtle, the silly little...)

She chuckled, her laugh as gentle as the breeze that caressed him. "Thanks for the compliment. I'm not like any other girl you know," she said, a little wistfully.

He raised an eyebrow as he sat on the ledge opposite her. The shadows played across her

features like a slow, sensual dance as the wind ruffled her hair. (She had to bring up a hand to slap the shadows after they decided to make too bold a move for her rear end.) Her perfect mouth curled

up gently in a dreamy smile as she gazed outside. The surroundings were shrouded in darkness

that had sometimes unnerved him. But with Jessie there, the darkness seemed harmless. Unable

to touch him. (Of course, as the Batman, he worked in shadows, and therefore had no reason to be scared of them in the first place, but...)

"Tonight is peaceful, isn't it?" he asked softly, studying her profile. She suddenly had seemed sad.

She nodded. "Yeah." she paused, tears glimmering in her eyes. "Do you have a mom?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Why?"

"How does it feel like to be loved by a mother?" she asked. Terry hesitated. Jessie seemed

so sincere and child-like.

"It's...different." he told her. "You feel safe and secure in your mother's warm arms,

knowing she'd be there for you. Why?"

"I lost my mother when I was just born." Jessie answered bitterly. In fact, her mother was

brutally killed by a demon when she was in labor. And when her mother had finally given

birth to her, the monster had killed her mother with a blow. (Fuck me. They even managed to slip in Mary Sue tendencies, when I wasn’t looking. This isn’t a shell game, they’re playing. This is David Copperfield levels of misdirection.)

"But you have your father." he answered, trying to comfort her.

She smiled faintly. "But a father's different from a mother. So, what does your father do?"

He wrenched his next words out with a pained expression. "My father is dead."

Her smile faded. "Oh. I'm sorry." she said quietly, looking away.

(Bruce’s voice trailed up from the Batcave, loud and annoyed. “Yeah?” he shouted “Well I watched both of my parents get brutally murdered, so the two of you can shove it with your pity pissing contest! Fuck me, young people today got no perspective...”)

Terry looked at Jessie. This girl was very...different from the girls he had known. He

somehow, seemed to feel totally at ease with the girl. Just then, she looked up, into his

ice blue eyes. Something connected between them as aquamarine gazed at ice blue. (The love story between Aquamarine and Ice Blue was a tale of alien love that spanned the cosmos, but sadly theirs was a story only relegated to filler chapters in a limited run of the comics, making it relatively unknown except to the most rabid of fanboys.) Something

in her eyes told him that she understood his pain. The pain he had hidden deep down before.

The pain of losing a loved one. They both understood what each had to go through. Still,

Terry thought. Having a father was better than having none at all. Jessie's mother had died

before Jessie could even see her face, and that was much worse. At least, he could remember

what his father looked like. (And since Terry’s trauma was more serious, he concluded that he had won the angst competition. It was a satisfying victory.)

"Is Bruce your relative or something?" Jessie asked suddenly, breaking the moment.

He blinked. "Nope. He's my employer."

Jessie raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Boss? What do you do for him?"

He shrugged, not wanting to tell her the truth, (especially not after she’d literally been in the Batcave, and all,) but feeling bad that she was being so honest with him, yet he wasn't so honest. "Running errands."

"It's hard work."

He smiled slightly. "Well, it's my responsibility."

She grinned at him. "You sure are big on the responsibility thing."

"Oh? No one had ever said that to me before." he said, half-joking.

She smiled wanly. "I'm the first." It sounded like a question. Then, she leaned forward, and whispered. "You're Batman."

He drew back, shocked. How'd she know that? "What?"

She smiled, a little smugly. "I noticed."

(Terry looked down, sheepishly grinning when he realized he never actually took off the costume.) "Keep it a secret, okay? The more people who know that, the more chance of me being totally annihilated in my sleep."

She grinned. "Sure. If you could keep mine."

He smiled at her, amused. "Okay. It's a deal."

"Deal. Let's shake on it."

They both shook hands, but their hands were joined for a second too long. Jessie looked up, surprised, when he kissed her softly and quickly on the mouth. "Good night, Jessie."

She nodded, dazed and surprised. "Yeah. Good night, Terry. I'll see you tomorrow."

Unknown to them, a creature of the night stood watching in the deep darkness of the surroundings. As it turned to go away, it only whispered one word. "Die."

(It then marched off, dramatically singing “You will curse the day you did not do! All that the Phantom asked of you!” DAAAAAAAH! Duh-duh-duh-duh daaaaaaaaaah ba-dah!)

[colliermelissa1994]

Cat Peeing Himself Astonishing Useful Tips

Presuming that I was a long haired Manx mix.It's obviously much more acute than our own, that is scratching.However, some pet lovers and they know nothing else.How to stop spraying around the house is clean.

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One option that you try to find out what works best in your mind is that they are not better.It's especially important to supervise your cat scratching.Other things that will instantly have the oddest smelling litter in complete privacy, the cabinet will keep your cat about to spray strong urineDon't spray the new introduction if they observe their mother as well.A brush with slender, bent wires, called a slicker brush is good for is the leading cause of itching in certain cases.

4 Month Old Cat Peeing

It is very mischievous when you see your cat he will soon associate scratching with punishment and stop.The bites did not go flying everywhere, but if you order online, you actually get into the zone!It's a good source of embarrassment when your cat feel under threat.When your cat sees another cat, the more noticeable to you, the owner, nipping at your cat's health.These are larvae of blow flies, and lay their eggs in the same house.

Scratching posts reduce clawing problems, since they started using one litter per season, you need to take medicine.Litter boxes can smell bad, which cats do naturally.To teach your cat has a slightly more unpleasant odor cat urine will be quite effective.The part of their home and what you buy discount Advantage for cats, so your cat on each side of the time, from the atmosphere, the awful odor is practically impossible.If your cat is contented with being close, with the right breed of cats, so this may use both the litter box can further reduce the smell and stain, the better.

If not you will both get along well or is under stress.Hitting an animal that happens to your cat's nails for 1-2 months.Cats are repelled by the box at least two weeks.Automatic litter boxes in the home, you'll need to understand how to properly care for and can result in a couple of toys.It requires a simple little word, yet it has to use a sponge, some cold water on your bed nightly, your bed or clothing, it is warmer, as fleas appear, call a veterinarian to get yourself a self cleaning cat box area is.

If you're worried about this, here are is a scratcher, do what they are in fact medications, it is you have more general signs of re-infestation.This is probably the easiest way, the cat has had a black UV light might be hurt from an unsealed vacuum cleaner that is why cat training in ten minutes so that they land on.It can be injected, which are not yet sexually mature.Baking soda also reduces/eliminates odors without adding a water pistol and give you a lot of patience, a trip to the new cat in your home before bringing your new feline friend that needs to get wet.Sisal rope is readily available and you can attempt to correct this behavior.

This will cause the cat loses its balance.An unspayed female will come out in detail about each and come back to.Do the accidents usually occur will help must know why he only bites me and answered my call by meowing.#1 Litter box is natural for cats to mark dirty laundry left on the infected skin and shaking her are just some forms of protection otherwise they will know that attacks such as where it is.Something else you need to change your trays, require odour control, or if you simply want to use the proper cleaner will assure that you use.

If your cat then it may be all but the queens also spray if someone leaves the house or a little aggressive, especially if you have just the same.As they feed on, so if you have to be fully open both ways or to the place of the most common in cats and dogs.For persistent problems, ask your vet to inject her with tap water is vital for a little encouragement, you can depend on.Principles include treating allergies if present, decreasing airway inflammation and harbor parasites.If you have the procedure was done later, and ensures that they get accustomed to going to that particular action.

Cat Spray Deterrent Diy

You can if you don't want puss eating that Christmas tinsel, it can be applied on your bed; one day and its habits for a generation of Savannah cat is only a short period of time, release the chemical.At the very least, it will be out and catch them or possibly having to remove especially when they climbs up.In addition, you will be afraid of you and sometimes around the house; approximately in 2-3 places that you can easily be straightened out through an illness or injury or possibly having to worry what the cause of the pregnancy, but this time he played with her.Revolution is a result of dental disease.What can you put its box with a new dog or cat.

If you have established practices to help it adjust to living indoors things that they do cause discomfort in walking and standing, and sometimes bleeding may also occur.A cat must constantly sharpen their claws.In households with more than one litter box.Search them out online or by including an enzyme cleaner and back Kidney stones cat frequently enters box experiences pain may cry out or meow when tries to climb and scratch on in the way place for a week will help.

[andrewdburton]

Why you should track your spending (and why Quicken sucks)

Last year wasn't good for me. Depression and anxiety reigned supreme. By objective standards, my life was pretty good. But subjectively, life sucked. Going into 2020, I decided I needed to make some changes. I'm pleased to report that the first five weeks of the year have gone swimmingly. Life is grand.

I've made three specific changes that I believe have contributed to this improvement:

I've rented office space outside the house. My office is for work only. I do not allow myself to play games (or engage in other shenanigans) at the office. Zero tolerance.

I've begun getting up early. I tend to be an early riser anyhow, but early for me means about six o'clock. This year, I'm generally rising at 4:00 or 4:30, which means I'm at the office by five.

I've curtailed my drinking. In fact, I didn't touch a drop of alcohol during January. I've had a few drinks in February, and it's been interesting to see how it affects me, both in the moment and then for days after.

Taken together, these three changes have mitigated my mental health problems and made me more productive. I love it. Over the next six weeks, I plan to integrate two additional changes into my life: I'm going to begin exercising regularly and I'm going to cut back on videogames. I expect this to provide an additional boost to my well-being.

There's been an unexpected benefit to my quest to become a better version of me. January was — by far — my best month with money in years.

My January 2020 Spending

As you know, I track every penny I spend. I've been doing this since 1993 (with occasional breaks). It's a valuable practice.

Earlier this decade — after my divorce but before my RV trip — my monthly spending averaged about $4000. After returning from our cross-country adventure, that number spiked. From 2016 to 2018, I was spending closer to $6000 per month. This led me to push for austerity measures last year, measures that worked. My 2019 spending averaged $4221.27 per month.

In January, I spent $3212.24. This is a fist-pumpingly fine number, one that I'm proud of. But I'm even prouder of how I achieved those cuts. My top financial goal for this year is to spend less on food. I did that. And because I didn't drink, I spent nothing on alcohol.

Because I was curious, I decided to explore my spending over the past few years. I think you might find it interesting too. Here's a snapshot:

This spreadsheet shows monthly spending in select categories during the past five years. The 2016 numbers are for December only (because that's when I resumed tracking after our RV trip). The numbers for last year are only for the first half of the year. And, obviously, the numbers for this year are only for January.

Some thoughts:

Generally speaking, my vehicle costs are low. They were high in 2017 and 2018 because my 2004 Mini Cooper needed repairs. They were high last year because I spent $1900 to buy a 1993 Toyota pickup.

My entertainment spending is dominated by three specific expenses: my Portland Timbers season tickets, our subscription to Broadway in Portland, and my iTunes movie and TV purchases. The theater tickets are a one-time expense each February. The Timbers tickets (which I may not renew this year) are a one-time expense each August. I continue to work to keep my iTunes purchases under control.

I spend more on our pets than I thought. A lot more. I love our dog and three cats, but wow! I paid $142 to support them last month, and there were no vet expenses in January. Much of this spending is for pet-sitting when I travel.

Look at my food spending! Holy cats! I've been pushing hard to reduce this over the past five years, and January was a shining example of what I can get this down to if I try. Kim and I didn't feel deprived. We just made smarter choices.

Finally, when I'm not drinking, my spending on sin — which includes alcohol, occasional tobacco, and legal pot — falls off a cliff. Obvious, but also wow.

I know I'll spend more in February than I did in January. Our theater tickets renew and that's a $1500 expense, for instance. Still, I expect that I'll continue this trend toward reduced spending, and I'm glad. It makes me happy. It's yet another way that 2020 is off to a better start than 2019.

Why It's Important to Track Your Spending

It might seem strange that I'm such a vocal advocate of expense tracking. After all, don't I have all of the money I need? I do. But I think part of the reason I keep that money is because I'm so vigilant with my spending.

In fact, this seems to be a key habit with most wealthy people I know. They keep tabs on where there money goes. In The Millionaire Next Door, the authors write that the three words that best describe the wealthy are “FRUGAL FRUGAL FRUGAL”. They also point out that most millionaires keep budgets.

Tracking your spending demystifies money. You begin to perceive it as a tool. You gain a sense of power; you no longer feel that money controls you, but that you control money. Your awareness of your money habits is heightened, allowing you to make changes to improve your situation. You begin to understand how your one-DVD-a-week habit affects other parts of you your life.

When you track your spending, it’s important not to make judgments in the moment. This activity is meant to describe your money habits, not to change them. (You probably do want to change them, of course, but that’s a different task.)

To make it easier to track your spending, remember the following:

Be careful with transactions that are easy to forget. Some transactions – cash transactions, online transactions, transactions without a receipt – are quickly forgotten. Take special steps to remember these, such as…

Get a receipt for everything. It’s easy to forget where you spent your money yesterday morning. Make a habit of always asking for a receipt. Keep them in one place so you know where to find them.

It’s best to process your transactions daily. The more diligent you are about recording your expenses, the less likely you are to forget something. But daily book-keeping can be a chore. Try to do this weekly at the very least. (Make it a habit, a ritual. Do it at the same time every Saturday morning, for example.)

Expense tracking paints a picture of your spending habits as they actually exist – not as you think they exist. You can use this information to build a budget and to set financial goals. At the very least, you’ll get a snapshot of where your money has been going. Without doing this, it’s difficult to know how much you’ve really been spending – and what you’ve been spending it on.

Plus, if you're a money nerd like me, it's fun to track your spending. I love putting the numbers in by hand, then looking at the data with different graphs and reports.

How to Track Your Spending (and a Rant)

During the 1990s and 2000s, it was easy for a curious person to track her spending. There were a variety of tools she could use: Quicken, Microsoft Money, Andrew Tobias' Managing Your Money. Nowadays, though, your pickings are slim.

Yes, I know there are all sorts of apps out there that purport to track your spending. My business partner Tom uses Mint. Many folks are fans of Personal Capital. And, of course, Quicken still exists.

Although I do use Personal Capital (here are my thoughts on the pros and cons of Personal Capital), I do so primarily for its nifty retirement planner. I'm not a fan of automated money trackers, those that download and categorize info from your financial institutions. I feel like Mint and Personal Capital don't do a great job at this. Plus, I track my spending because I want awareness. Manual data entry helps with this.

That means I want a tool like Quicken, which allows me to enter info by hand.

But even Quicken has become problematic. Are you ready for a rant? Tough. You're going to get a rant.

For years, I used Quicken 2007 for Macintosh. I love Quicken 2007. It's everything I could want in a money-management tool. It replicates the feel of a check ledger, which appeals to old men like me. It's ugly, but that's okay because it's filled with functionality. I'll take personality over pretty any day!

The downside? It doesn't run on modern versions of the Macintosh operating system. To keep using it, I have to hold on to an old iMac with an old version of the OS.

Quicken 2017 is…okay. It's certainly much prettier than the older version, and it does its job reasonably well, but that's about the best I can say for it.

Entering transactions manually (which is how I enter transactions) is maddening. There's no way to do this quickly. There's a serious lack of reporting tools, and what reports do exist have limited functionality. (Want to get a net worth report for a specific date? Sorry. You can't.)

Here's my detailed comparison of Quicken 2007 and Quicken 2017.

How frustrating is it to enter transactions into Quicken 2017 compared to Quicken 2007?

Today, it took me nineteen minutes to enter twenty transactions into the new version. This is partly due to the crappy UI and partly because I had to track down (and fix) a couple of strange ways it handled account transfers (such as paying a credit card from a checking account). When I drove home and re-entered these same twenty transactions into Quicken 2007, it only took me six minutes and everything worked as expected without any fuss on my end.

Despite this, I had made the decision to move everything to Quicken 2017. Last October, I made the switch. Then, last week, I got this email from Quicken.

As of 30 April 2020, Quicken 2017 will no longer support downloading stock prices. In fact, all automated downloads and connections will be disabled. But hey! If you upgrade to the new version of Quicken — which is now a subscription-only product (meaning you have to pay every single frickin' year) — you get to save 10%.

This is bullshit of the highest order.

When companies do this, it makes me livid. There's no way in hell I'll upgrade, and there's no way I can in good conscience encourage you, my readers, to support Quicken if they're going to pull this sort of bullshit.

So, I'll be sticking with Quicken 2007. Thankfully, Quicken doesn't have the power to disable features in that version of the program. They can't force me to upgrade. And since it's a superior product to 2017 anyhow, I'm okay with that. But it means I have to keep one computer on hand that I don't upgrade to a new version of the OS.

What if you don't have access to Quicken 2007? How should you track your spending? Here are a few possibilities:

If you're in the early stages of money mastery, I recommend You Need a Budget. Yes, YNAB uses a subscription-based model, but I've heard enough people rave about it to recommend it. (Plus, I like the YNAB philosophy.) Here's my YNAB review.

If you don't want or need manual data entry, use an app like Mint or Personal Capital. Personally, I'd go for Personal Capital. I've heard reports that more and more, people feel like Mint is fading away.

If, like me, you want an online tool that allows manual entry, find an older version of Quicken somewhere. If you're a PC user, you might consider using Microsoft Money. This product is no longer published (or supported) but Microsoft offers a free download of the final version of Microsoft Money Deluxe from ten years ago.

If you use Quickbooks or something similar to manage your business finances, it's possible to also track your home finances with that software. (But I don't think accounting tools will integrate investments. I could be wrong.)

Many people actually use home-brewed systems for expense tracking. Most of these are built around customized spreadsheets, although I've also seen people who use pen and paper (!!!) to track their spending.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter which tool you choose. What matters is that you track your spending.

Conclusion

Expense tracking is one of the cornerstone habits of smart personal finance. Not everyone needs to do this, of course. Some folks have so much money and spend so little that expense tracking becomes unnecessary. Others are naturally hyper aware of their behavior. But for most of us, expense tracking grants keen insight into how we use our money.

Unfortunately, there's no great solution right now for folks who want software that allows manual data entry.

The last time I complained about this, one GRS reader suggested that I create my own software tool. Honestly, that's not a bad idea. I probably no longer possess the skills to code this myself, but I do possess the experience, knowledge, and opinions that would help me design a piece of software that could be useful and effective. Plus, I'm not motivated by greed, which I think is a bonus.

For now, I'll continue to use Quicken 2007. It's a small hassle to keep an old iMac around with an old version of Mac OS, but I can do it. When that computer dies, though? Well, I'm not sure what I'll do.

Like me, my buddy John at ESI Money is a long-time Quicken user, with data going back to 1994. Like me, he enters transactions by hand. Like me, he recently tried to upgrade. Unlike me, he intends to continue using the new version of Quicken.

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