#its so funny bc she takes it so personal (she denies it) bc dad was 22 and she was 29 like girl.... its not abt u :sob:

[pikslasrce]

recreating the age gap discourse w my mom over dinner

[seelestia]

OMG THE NEW NAVIA THEME IS SO CUTE??? i think it's safe to say that you definitely cooked, lia hehe >:3 /lh /gen

anyways! that's pretty much what it is when it comes to college and frankly? i just wanna get it over with like literally the only highlight to it is seeing my friends and spending time with my boyfriend 😭 but!! a social science major sounds cool! i'd say you have some pretty good goals set in mind and you can always take up a minor if you want to pursue the others :> (i did consider having music as a minor) and sure! the courses depend on what you pick really and the college/professor, online is just about the same as in-person if you have a lot of reading on a pc to do tbh. english classes are well. kind of like the ones in high school but college-leveled. just make sure you give yourself enough time to do assignments bc they can be painful :"D

HELP LMAO??? okay that's true though, the fontaine quest definitely made a splash and we really had to dip our toes in the water with it huh? anyway thats kind of the thing, the only similarity between bedo and lyney is that they actively flirt with me in their own way, and its funny bc i usually try to find someone whose personality complements mine bc im generally the quieter one compared to both (ah yes a reality tv show for me HJEKAHD) also yea! i think both of them really do have traits that make them stand out and frankly i wish they got more screentime (also i have yet to watch the 4.6 trailer ehehe)

same here to you!! i'm always happy to rattle off of your hcs and i enjoy talking about our selfships as well hehe (*^ω^*) and i love it when bedo calls me his "sweet violet",,like the way he says it is just so endearing? like the pitch of his voice always becomes softer and more affectionate jsjdksndj (yk its funny, my boyfriend does the same thing with me bc his nicknames are unique to me as well)

also i'm throwing another ramble at ya: imagine wanderer or ayato surprising you with breakfast in bed HEHEHEHE

awh thats oki! like i said, i'm always happy to indulge your selfships since i enjoy hearing about them :> /gen. honestly i wouldn't be surprised if wanderer did knock you softly on the head for thinking the flowers were from yato ajjdkshd (nah just put the hairpin in before he gets a chance /hj /lh) also i forgot to tell u im a sucker for floriography so i methinks wanderer could give you camellias which represent everlasting love. the hairpin ayato gives you is unique in design and had it specially made for you alone :3

and i quote from my irl friend: "bouncing off the walls gf x completely stoic unmoving statue bf" HDJAKDHSJ NOT ONLY THAT SHE COMPARED HIM TO A PIECE OF FURNITURE BC OF HOW STIFF HE IS IN PICTURES (but hey i give him credit for a cute smile <3) and he is very much a pretty boy even though he tries to deny it until i accept that he calls me pretty too BUT YEA QUITE LITERALLY OPPOSITES ATTRACT anyway pretty much, not all relationships are like yk. sunshine and rainbows so thats why i feel very grateful to have a healthy one. if anything, we're just both trying to do our best to make one another happy but thankies hehe (also nw! i dont think u sound like a grandma, i just like hearing u ramble ehhehe)

also im not rlly sure why ppl think 20 is old either like dang, sure my back hurts on occasion but i'm not a fossil 😭

AHHH THANK U, VI!! so it seems you agree that i... baked? :3c /lh HAHAHA navia is so sweet and silly. i just have to make her my theme! (++ as a homage to her for carrying me in spiral abyss 🫣) since i do put in effort whenever i do theme changes, it makes me happy to know others like it <3

i'll have you know that i'm a true enabler of dad jokes & puns. throw 'em at me! which reminds me: how does albedo react to your jokes? for me, ayato just thinks it's funny that i find them funny (he pats me on the head afterwards - A+ for effort). wanderer is just the epitome of unimpressed and sometimes, he'd even pull on my cheek a little if the joke is extremely unfunny LOLLL. the only one who'd ever indulge me is mr. shikanoin heizou ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡) oh, woe is me!!! /lh

i see! ty for the perspective, vi <3 i'm gonna find it nostalgic to look back on this convo after i went to college. tho assignments really are a staple of uni life, huh? one of the times i thank highschool for instilling the habit of “work first, play later” in me. i imagine it's gonna be more painful however so i'll need to juggle rest & work 😭 hope you're holding up with yours!! <3

THAT'S CUTE!! i find it so funny that albedo himself is the paradigm for introverts but when it comes to flirting with people he finds intriguing, he's not here to play LMAO. how does he act 〜suave〜 so naturally?? smh i need those skills too /hj. lyney on the other hand... he takes it as an achievement if he manages to fluster you! the sleight of the hand is his bread & butter but he's good with his words just as well, no? voila! ✧ i am biting my fist UWAGHH. i am head over heels for the 'speaks to you / says your name in a softer voice' thingy but to witness it first-hand??? i'm so happy for you 🤭

WWHWHWHWH. ayato usually has the maids prepare our meals so he probably tells them to make it extra special. unfortunately, i'm more of a night owl than an early riser so by the time he brings the tray onto the bed, i'm just looking at him all groggy LOL. he thinks it's cute, taps my cheek and teasingly asks if this is all a ruse to get him to spoon feed me.... this man /aff. wanderer tho is a good cook so he does not play around with food or breakfast! but it's gonna take lots of coaxing to have breakfast in bed since “if it spills on the mattress, i'll demote you to the floor for a day.” i tell him about the existence of trays but he's still adamant. no fun 💔 /j

CAMELLIAS?! those happen to be one of my fav flowers!!! and the meaning too... i'm ahhdjwjejw /pos. he would tho!! wanderer canonically like wandering off in nature (oh, dearest sumeru), i think he picks flowers to bring back home. but sometimes, he'd rather observe them from afar: they're fleeting, after all. so he might as well leave them be to bloom to their fullest. yk.... i should buy some seeds these days and make a garden of our own. maybe it could be a surprise for him oooooo mhm mhm!! wbu?? does albedo or lyney indulge in making you breakfast in bed too hehe :3c (for lyney, i'm willing to bet lynette sponsored that breakfast /j)

NOT THE FURNITURE POSE HAHAA 😭

“smile!”

vi: 🌸🌷🎀🩷

bf: 🚪🚪🚪

/j but we appreciate the effort!!! i'm also not vv photogenic myself so i can relate badly with the furniture pose LMAO 😔 i prefer taking pictures of others instead! ayato is really photogenic. this is what happens when you deal with paparazzi /j & wanderer can be photogenic too but only in candid. he does not like staring at the camera. what a grumpy cat /aff +++ i saw the picrew you sent me! VI IT'S SO ADORBS AHHHH feel free to share more picrews of you & your f/o's anytime! i love love love them ☆૮꒰ˊᗜˋ* ꒱��� /gen !!!!

[larnax]

ok i have. i have more disgaea thoughts. my girl fuka what did they do to you

ok so the thing abt d4 is that overall its story is quite fun, it's peak disgaea because it is wacky in a way where its absurdly exaggerated literal events are used to represent emotional conflicts ie a character's dad shutting himself away in his lab for her entire childhood who reveals it was to fulfill her dream of taking over the world by developing machines that she can command to take over the world as an allegory for a dad doing his best to provide for his kids at the expense of being there for his kids so they grow up without feeling like he loves them, and it legitimately is the only story i think really intertwines serious and batshit to make "WE HAVE TO POWER THE MECH WITH LOVE SO IT CAN STOP THE MOON FROM CRASHING TO EARTH, QUICK, PRAY TO YOUR PARTNER BECAUSE WHILE YOU HAVE NO FAITH IN GOD YOU HAVE FAITH IN HIM!" instead of in d1 having the story be wacky with occasional stops to tell a standard story with normal emotional stakes and etna is there to tell jokes, or from d5 onwards basically just being standard fantasy stories with normal emotional stakes but theres wacky backgrounds.

the actual main story of d4 is all bangers, there are a lot of great heels to keep the story interesting and although they all come around to val in the end they don't all become his bff which avoids the d7 problem of "you made a new guy up just so we would have anyone to fight and nobody we do recruit puts up an interesting struggle and therefore none of us have an interesting reason we're still here beyond inertia". i do wish artina got to do more stuff i think she's way too fun a character who is way too important in the story to be relegated to third wheel as often as she is, but to fix that i would just give her most of axel's stuff. she becomes president and then is absent for the moon episode on intel that she'll meet "someone she doesn't wanna see" and then when she radios in for the roll call you have a little joke about flonne being that person.

usually i really like flonne being a straightforward heel in her adult appearances. shes the whitest woman in existence and shes very nasty when she thinks she's doing the right thing, which is always. i support women's wrongs and her stealing billions from the netherworld(which celestia already exploits in a lot of ways/sometimes just decides to destroy) to fuck around with by forcing an underling who actively does not want to do it to shake down random civilians and public infrastructure, all to fund her stupid ass mech shaped like her who's powered by prayer? thats horrible! shes so nasty! it's really funny and them being forced to deal with That being their only way to keep fenrich from having the most important thing in his life(after val) fucking exploded leads to one of the reasons they should have won that fucking noncanon gayest ships tournament FUCK those community bitches.

HOWEVER. the fuka dlc is so bad. or let me rephrase: the fuka dlc is transcendantly good until the ending at which point it becomes the worst thing that happens in disgaea 4.

bc ok ok ok. so fuka is dead. that's her story, after a childhood of being neglected by her always busy dad she breaks into his lab and finds his evil scientist lair full of mutant constructs, one of whom kills her. she doesn't accept that she's dead because she's only 14 and her life hasn't even started yet and on top of that she's been sent to hell despite being a normal ass 14 year old whos biggest crime is being a teenager. so she deals with it by denying it and deluding herself into believing that this is all a dream and someday she'll wake up in a happy life she's just starting and she won't have to confront the terrible fate she met with. so the solution is obvious, right?

after the main story resolves and fuka has a group of friends and caretakers who love her and she's patched things up with her dad, fuka needs to accept that she's dead. disgaea uses a reincarnation system as a core part of the series mythology and gameplay. reincarnation is good and necessary. fuka, eventually, needs to let go, and stop haunting the world she did get cheated out of a life in.

so in the dlc, her friends and family help her. val puts her through the toughest puzzle course he can because he's her teacher and he wants her to prove that she's strong and resourceful and capable, and she does! she passes all his tests and he gives her his formal blessing. then her secondary father figure, her bio dad, finally delivers on his promise to help her take over the world, they like. rent out a city and give her a bunch of crazy machines to go wild on with the power she's worked so hard for and the allies she's found so much support in, including her little sister who she only recently got to meet and connect with during the main story and her surrogate reluctant little brother, The Grim Reaper, who is the one guiding her through the mechanics of reincarnation in the first place as a sign of his own personal growth that he's now mature enough to handle this difficult case.

and it works! fuka accepts it! she accepts, sadly, that she's dead, and she should move on. she'll lose this life, which is sad! they're all sad about it! but it's okay. and then-- it's an ending, right?

it's going to be an ending, you think. disgaea has a bunch of specific endings. there's one for completing a single optional stage in d1. it would make perfect sense narratively and gameplay wise to have an ending with fuka reincarnating, then just. introduce a bill to resummon fuka from an alternate dimension or time travel shenanigans or literally whatever other funny joake you can think of this is a comedy series and doing it this way doesn't undercut the emotional part While Its Happening. because if that happened itd be Bad.

enter flonne. because it is not an ending. flonne barrels through the fourth wall at the last second and, dead vfucking serious, CONDEMNS FUKA TO ETERNAL HELL WITH NO CHANCE OF REINCARNATION because she "tried to take over the world" by fighting in a stage consisting of like three blocks her dad set up for her where no civilians were even present. also bc shes the ruler of heaven this is the character who condemned her to hell originally when she was FOURTEEN because when she was six she wanted to take over the world.

which is a baller heel move and i would be so so so so into it IF she was a boss fight. if they had to defeat her before she was forced to reluctantly give fuka her very well-deserved reincarnation. but, uh, nope, last minute twist, Moving On Is Bad Actually and fuka is still condemned to eternal hell. fuck you. sure its technically a sentence that lets her spend time with her besties forever but like. at what cost. flonne only works as a heel if the other characters clash with her instead of valvatorez and emizel of all fucking people being like Woof so glad we don't have to say goodbye, i guess our entire characters and the things we find important and the reasons we were doing this do not matter and all that shit about caring about fuka and wanting her to find peace was Bullshit. have fun being 14 for the rest of your life, Dumbass!

← literally what its like to be 14 years old

[tempobaekh]

Rating Penthouse: War In Life characters

I asked my followers on Instagram to give me Penthouse characters to rate and my thoughts about them so I thought to post it here as well. Now this is my personal opinion about how I feel about the characters and how much I will rate them

⚠️⚠️THIS CONTAINS A FEW SPOILERS⚠️⚠️

My Instagram: Tempobaek

Logan Lee

10/10

Lemme just say I love him SO MUCH

LOGAN LEE BEST BOY

I absolutely loved his character and the fact that he was one of the few people who wants justice and is honest made me love him even more

Him playing Go Hu Dong was amazing as well and I didn't recognize him at all at first like he played it so well with the accent, costume and wig and everything

His accent and language switch in between English and the Busan accent Korean was so fucking sexy🥵

✨Mr. Joo✨

My man was also smart with his revenge

He was also serving amazing LOOKS every episode in the two seasons and I loved every single one of them

And I'm going to be honest here, after watching the preview for S2 ep13 his laugh was creepy in one of the clips and after reading a few theories I lowkey thought that he would be the next villian

I regret suspecting him now

But instead of that they gave us a bigger plot twist and blew up our man with a bomb😩

He literally went ✨LiGhT iT Up LiKe DyNaMiTe✨ (I'm so sorry)

I would've rather have him be a villian than die in the bomb

I MISS HIM ALREADY AND LOVE HIM SO MUCH😭

DID I MENTION THAT I LOVE HIM

Joo Seok Kyung

7/10

Another one that annoyed me angered me so much🙄

Like she was ruthless and had no mercy when it came to bullying and putting people down that she thought were a rival or putting people down in general

She didn't change even when Rona died

She also went as far as to like cheat her way to win the Cheong Ah Art High School trophy and blackmailed Cheon Seojin to win the trophy

But there were times where she would show emotions and those would be often her break down and weak moments

And those moments would really show how she is broken inside and puts up a careless and brave image, she is someone who needs healing even though healing takes time

I also saw someone saying like 'oh Seok Kyung hates her mom so much'

Yeah she hated her mom but she didn't hate her to death like she didn't wish death upon her

Seok Kyung was heart broken when she heard Suryeon's death and that showed that she still loved her mom even though Suryeon didn't give birth to them

I was heart broken when I saw that she cut her hair because here was no one there to tie it for her bc Suryeon loved Seok Kyungs long hair and that's why she didn't cut it but after he mothers death no one was there to tie her hair for her

I started seeing her in a different light after a while bc again it showed that he character was very broken emotionally and needed healing

I'm interested about seeing more of her character development after the last ep where she defended Rona

Also my girl is so hot, another one that was serving amazing looks

Joo Seok Hoon

8/10

He was lowkey annoying at first ngl

Like my man was just🧍🏻‍♂️

It annoyed me so much how he defended his sister so much, fell for her tricks, covered up for her and did anything she said EVEN though its wrong

But after some time I understood that he cared for and that she was the only family left to him

I mean Seok Hoon hate Joo Dan Tae so he doesn't counts and Suryeon was dead at the moment

I will still not forgive him for bullying Seol A even though he regrets it

It also annoyed me how he didn't stood up for Rona at all in the first season even though he liked her

By he got so much better in S2, he was even part in the revenge plan

He is literally the human CCTV camera in Hera Palace like he knows more than even the viewers know

The way he was protective of Rona when he found out she was alive was so aDORABLE

And my man was amazing in the last episodes

I love him

Cheon Seo Jin

4/10

THIS WOMAN MAKES MY BLOOD FUCKING BOIL

Like I sometimes just was to 🤜🏻👩🏻

But sometimes I wanna hug her😩

Idk I feel like she became a horrible person bc of greed and that he father and mother placed too high expectations for her

Instead of praising her for her accomplishments her parents wanted her to do more

Maybe that's why she was desperate for love and affection and found that in Joo Dan Tae even though he pretended to like her

But that definitely does not dismiss her horrible actions

But also the harsh past made her the could hearted person, like she left her father to die

She felt more care towards her daughter after she almost lost her because Eunbyeol tried to commit suicide

She was in alot of pain and you could see it in her cries and when she was on the phone with the person

Soyeon's acting was amazing in that scene

She started to care more about her ex husband and daughter when she saw how much Eunbyeol was suffering and she realized that she genuinely liked Ha Yoon Chul hwen she saw how horrible Joo Dan Tae was

I did feel bad for her sometimes but after seeing that she didn't change I really didn't feel any sympathy for her

She needs therapy

Girlie was shocked when the doctor said she is losing her voice like bestie you are screaming every episode

She was also serving amazing looks every episode

Ha Yoon Chul

5/10

The first male character I simped for

Like I am not going to deny it but he is hot🥵

But the first few episodes he was an absolute asshole and greedy

But I never expected him to be Yoonhee's ex boyfriend

I did like him a tiny bit when he saved Yoon Hee from Kyu Jin

His entrance in S2 with the helicopter was damn hot

And I WAS SO SHOCKED WHEN HE SAID MEET MY WIFE OH YOON HE

LIKE YAY MY SHIP IS SAILING

I spoke too soon

His character development and fighting skills were hot as well

He was ADORABLE with Rona and Yoonhee

I seriously thought that Rona was his daughter

BUT THAN AT THE CHEONG AH FESTIVLE OOF SIR I WANTED TO PUNCH HIM

I WAS SO MAD WHEN HE SABOTAGED RONA'S PERFORMANCE

I began hating him after that💀

Like he went 📈📉 with his character development

AND THEN HE CLEANED EUNBYEOL'S MEMORY FROM THAT NIGHT LIKE SIR SKSHSKSHKS SHE DID HAT TO YOUR DAUGHTER

I actually asked my dad what he thought about what Yoon Chul did and this was his reponse:

"If you look at it from a parents perspective they would want to do anything if they saw their child in pain like he did but I would've also scolded her and had a conversation with her about why she did it instead of wiping her memory from that night like he did. "

So that's that

I LOVED IT WHEN YOON HEE CAME WITH THAT BLOW AND TOLD HIM RONA WAS HER DAUGHTER

Jonghoon's acting was chef's kiss in that scene

I was going to rate him a 4 but I gave him that 5 when I saw how he was at court, he admitted to his wrong doings but also still had feelings for Yoon Hee

I wanna see his reaction in s3 to Rona now bc now that he got to know that is his daughter I wonder how he will be

Lee Kyu Jin

1/10

AN ASSHOLE

USELESS

WHY IS HE HERE

Like I have nothing to say about him rather than I hate him and that he useless just like his wife and son

HE IS LITERALLY NOTHING WITHOUT HIS MOM

I'm only giving him that one bc he was funny in the episodes

THATS THE ONLY REASON HE IS THERE JUST FOR COMEDY PURPOSES

Go Sang Ah

0.5/10

ANNOYING 2.0

USELESS 2.0

ALL SHE DOES IS SPEND HER HUSBAND AND MOTHER IN LAW'S MONEY

LIKE SHE AIN'T EVEN WORKS

UNLIKE KANG MARI

The only thing she does is gossip

And spills the tea☕

SHE IS LITERALLY NOTHING WITHPUT HER HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY

Giving her a 0.5 bc she is kinda funny eh

Lee Minhyuk

0/10

ANNOYING 3.0

USELESS 3.0

ASSHOLE 2.0

Idk if it runs in the family but again he is useless

And a dumbass

He also nothing without his parents

Why is he there tho like you ain't even funny

All he can do is cause trouble

And bullied Jenny

His dumbass slipped and broke his own arm and blamed it on Rona smh🤦🏻‍♀️

Sometimes I just wanna 🤜🏻👦🏻

Also my dude was trying to sound all intimidating by saying

"Oh Jenny's father is a scary man, yOuR dEaD BaE rOnA"

Like dude worry about yourself bitch you are dead first for bullying Jenny

But like I hate the character but LOVE THE ACTOR HE IS SO HOT OMFG

Joo Dan Tae

0/10

ANOTHER ONE THAT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH AND MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL

SOMETIMES I DONT WANNA 🤜🏻 I WANNA 🔪

LIKE I HATE HIM WITH A FUCKING PASSION

I DONT CARE ABOUT HIS PAST OR ANYTHING HE IS A GREASY, GREEDY, PSYCHO, OBSESSIVE MANIPULATIVE, POSSESSIVE PSYCHO

Like I legit thought he was nice in he first ep and then I saw him kiss Seojin and-

Me: 🤨😧😃🤮 MY EMOTIONS WENT LIKE THAT

LIKE HE IS SO FUCKING POSSESSIVE OVER SURYEON, AEGYO AND SEOJIN LIKE ITS DISGUSTING

I WAS GETTING YANDERE BEHAVIOUR FROM THAT OLD MAN

PURE TRASH

Bae Rona

9/10

I LOVE HER NOW

RONA BEST GIRL

She was also annoying at first and was very ungrateful

But over time she got better, still a tiny bit annoying sometimes but better

When she came back from the US I WAS LIKE GIRL NO YOU FINNA RUIN THE PLAN

I do feel bad for her bc she went through alot with bullying, her mom going to jail not only once but twice, her getting to know that Yoonchul who she started liking sabotaged her performance, and also literally almost dying

My girl has been through a lot

AND WHEN SHE RUNNED TOWARDS THE STAIRS OUTSIDE WHEN EUNBYEOL WAS CHASING HER I WAS LIKE GIRL RUN TO THE HALL YOU RUNNIN OUTSIDE

I am excited to see her reaction to getting to know that Yoon Chul is her dad

Part 2 is also posted!

[blxetsi]

Hello! I love your blog and writing so much! May I please request modern au dating hcs for Mikasa?

tysm for requesting ilysm 🙈💥

i also went a bit overboard i hope thats okay !!

modern mikasa ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!mikasa ackerman x gn!reader

- eren finds out abt her crush on you. idc idc

- mf may be dense sometimes but he isnt stupid, he KNOWS what mikasa acts like when shes in the presence of her crush,, he would know bc he was one ;)

- anyways, maybe your like, going up to ask mikasa for her notes from last class, or just chatting with them to be friendly

- either way mikasa goes from 😳 to 😐 real quick

- shes very quiet which youre used to so you dont really think too long abt her lack of communication. its literally just you and eren talking at this point

- after you leave to,,, idk sit under a tree ?? erens immediately turning to mikasa being like "okay tell me everything"

- she denies the crush on u 😔💔

- but then eren tells armin.

- and eren has a big mouth so who knows who else he told ??

- so finally, after beating up eren for spilling the beans she tells her two closest friends EVERYTHING

- like from how nice your hair smells to how pretty she finds your eyes. how she loves your sense of style. she just likes everything about you

- erens like "i mean yeah theyre rlly cute but like,,, what do you like about them that isnt physical 😐"

- mikasa starts blushing HARD. and slowly goes to her bedroom in their shared apartment, before slinking back out holding a crinkly folded piece of paper.

- its something you wrote and it says "thanks for studying with me mikasa !! let me treat you to boba as a thanks. youre so sweet, ill see you next class babie"

- erens looking at the note like 😐 mf is this it ??

- armins flipping it back and forth and reading it over and over again

- mikasa just says "theyre kind to everyone. and theyre funny. i just like them a lot."

- erens like 🙄 k but armins all for it

- then they start coming up with a plan to get you to like mikasa back (even though mikasa doesnt want that)

- erens an asshole and says "mikasa i love you and you will always be my number one, HOWEVER. they might just see you as a friend, OR WORSE. an aquaintance. we gotta make u so cool that youre irresistable"

- now mikasa is a bit worried

- HOWEVER. what none of those idiots know is that YOU have had a fat crush on mikasa since you asked her for a pencil at the beginning of the semester 😍 she stared at u like 😐✏️ and u were like "omg thanks 😊" w a little blush on ur cheeks bc mikasa's hot

- i mean,, if you didnt like mikasa WHY would you have invited her out for boba ?? one, who doesnt like boba ?? and two,, doesnt that count as a date ? u didnt know but u just wanted to like ✨subtly✨ shoot your shot

- but that was almost a month ago and she hasnt said yes. so you assume she didnt wanna go

- a few days go by after mikasa tells her friends all about her crush. and like,,, they do nothing ?? what happened to the big plan of making mikasa seem like the coolest person around ?

- it turns out eren doesnt know enough about you to know what you like. and ur dumbass friends aint help either.

- so one day he finds you and mikasa coming out of your shared class, your talking about something and mikasa is just nodding with a blush on her cheeks.

- he runs up to both of you before saying "hey just to let you know mikasa has a big crush on you. and she'd love to go get boba with you 😁👍"

- mikasa gets so red in the face and starts smacking him with her binder. you couldnt stop it even if you tried

- after literally YELLING at them for their attention you just turn to mikasa like "please get boba with me 🥺" and she cant resist

- and then the rest is history 😌✨

- after the boba date you learned so much about her and vice versa. you guys were like,, closer than ever. always going to her apartment or her coming to your dorm

- you guys would have sleepovers very frequently. nothing ever happens but you two like being so close with each other

- and you guys do a lot together when you arent busy with school or work or friends

- mikasa takes you to cool museums and art galleries

- you take her to cool shops downtown and parks

- its so fun

- but you cant help but wonder if youre dating or not ?? like do you have the right to call mikasa your gf ?? you guys havent kissed on the lips but she always kisses your head when you cuddle, and you always take each other out on dates

- on the day you finally bring it up during one of your sleepovers. shes on her back and youre almost on top of her with your arms around her shoulders and your face smushed into her chest

- u just kinda mumble "are you my girlfriend ?"

- and its SILENT.

- u start freaking out bc "omg she doesnt like me 😁👍 im gonna cry"

- until she just quietly says. "yes."

- OFNWIDNKWSMWKKWKALSMQLSME

- ur gonna marry this girl 😐

- her love language ?? definitely acts of service. idc idc.

- when u sleep over shes making you tea without u asking. (u said u liked lavender tea ONCE and this bith got a whole container 😭😭)

- when you have movie nights with her, eren, and armin she always chooses a movie you like ("no we arent watching the florida project again armin cried last time" "yeah but y/n loves it so" "this feels like oppression mikasa" "okay and ?")

- is also very protective. she hears mfs in the halls talking shit about you ?? shes shutting them up with her glare

- also u know how isayama made her goth in his like, highschool thingy ?? yeah 😍

- #gothmikasasupremacy

- she makes her eyeliner and shadow messy on purpose.

- you love just laying her down on her bed and straddling her, just leaning over and doing her makeup for her (jules and anna tease 🙈✨)

- sometimes you guys go to thrift stores and pick out outfits for each other

- one time you found this GORGEOUS floral sundress and she physically shivered from the thought of wearing

- tried it on and looked SO BEAUTIFUL, but it wasnt her style 😐

- also doesnt tell her parents about you ?? not bc shes embarassed or anything but just because she knows her dad is gonna be like "who are they ? what are they like ? where do they live ? whats their major ? where are they from ? whats their zodiac sign ?"

- he doesnt do it to play the "overprotective dad" role but because hes genuinely curious and excited

- she brings you home for the first time and youre so surprised because this tall blond man is her FATHER ?? she looks so much like her mom though its not even funny

- for dinner her mom and dad made traditional japanese food 😭😭 it was so good omfg

- also this has nothing to do with dating headcanons but mikasa used to live off of lunchables as a kid. was literally addicted to the rubber like ham 😍

- her mom is so sweet, and she shows you all of the stuff she's embroidered all these years

- her dad is so extroverted, he loves telling dad jokes. you find them HILARIOUS but mikasa sits there like 😐👍

- he DEMANDS you guys play scrabble. he says it help him figure out who you are as a person. now youre scared 😁👍

- anyways

- you love giving her little kisses on her lips because one, you get some of her moisturizing lip gloss on your lips and two, she blushes SO HARD

- one time you two were on a date and you ran into her ex. whos literally so scary

- her name is annie and shes blonde and muscular and rlly hot but has that same blank stare as mikasa

- you feel kinda weird bc how did she go from being with ANNIE to you ??

- you ask her abt it and shes like "oh yeah we dated in our last year of high school. im much happier with you" and now youre feeling all giggly and happy bc mikasa doesnt lie 😭😭

- u roll around on her bed with your cheeks squished together to hide your blush bc you feel so good that she said that

- she just rolls her eyes before getting on top of you and taking your hands away from your face

- she gives u kisses all over before putting the final one on your lips. its such a soft and sweet moment with just the two of you, you cant help but confirm what youve already thought:

youre gonna marry her one day.

a/n

i REAAALLLLYYYY enjoyed making this oml. i hope u all enjoyed this !! remember: requests r open for anything aot OR u can give me ideas for other fandoms to write for

kk goodbye friends 🤩🤩🤩

[hotwings0203]

one time like last year i saw this tiktok talking abt dabi icks and i thought it was funny so i commented on it and asked for a part 2 bc i love dabi w all my heart and i am a proud dabi stan and his icks were v funny🤞🤞 anyway i then realised like the next day that the account that made the tiktok was an endeavor stan acc☹️☹️ and a dabi anti😐😅 i never deleted a comment so fast. they were saying endeavor a good person bc now he’s trying to be nice and that dabi was being dramatic by hating his dad and becoming a villain …🤨🤨 then i seen them saying how mitsuki abused bakugo ?????? HUH??? … u can’t just deny the fact that dabi was abused bc u don’t like him . its always the people that deny dabis trauma are the first to say bakugo was abused like.. 😦 ( i luv bakugo 2 tho ) anyway still ashamed to this day that i commented on an endeavor stan acc post 🤬

Dawg you a solider for that fr, I would’ve been shitting myself if an endeavor Stan AND DABI anti showed up on my fyp😭😭I just find it so weird yet interesting how ppl can interpret the manga so differently, i think it has to do maybe with peoples ages or maturity level.

Like I think if that tiktok account was made by like a 13-15 year old then maybe they wouldn’t understand what the pressure of pleasing a parent feels like so they fail to recognize Dabi’s trauma

And same for bakugo, like a younger kid/a kid who hates their parents may fail to take in the comedic value of his relationship with mitsuki and the actual kind words she’s said abt him. It’s the same situation when bakugo got chained up at the sports festival, like I e seen so many TikTok’s of ppl being like “that was so messed up they abused him it was such a heartbreaking scene, I just know he never got over that trauma 🤬🤬😡” and I’m like bro??? It’s a canonically humorous scene, and also MY BOY WAS TRYINA BLOW EVERYONE UP WHAT ELSE WERE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO??

[kimjoongs]

ateez playing genshin

hongjoong

mains: albedo and mona

initially wasnt interested in playing but then he heard the soundtrack from another member’s phone and was intrigued

ended up staying up all night just playing the game

chose lumine to be the traveler bc he thought she was cool (sorry aether </3)

gets rlly rlly into the lore and is a sucker for the graphics and music

spends most of his time just talking to npc’s and reading everything they have to say

failed the gliding test many times so he asked yunho to do it for him

“you just follow the rings–”

“i’m TRYING”

gets scared when the music suddenly changes as a crowd of hilichurls comes running towards him

has a personal vendetta against paimon idk why but he does

played co-op once with san and yunho but instantly regretted it bc they kept teleporting and leaving him behind

seonghwa

mains: diona

doesnt rlly know what he’s doing but he thinks the game is very pretty <3

aether is his traveler and seonghwa is v attached to him

knows all of the names of the npc’s in monstadt so whenever he passes by them he greets them out loud “hi flora” “oh hey huffman” “SARAAAAH”

always gasps when he finds a seelie and gets all :D as he follows it

keeps falling off the mountains bc he underestimates how tall they are and loses stamina before he reaches the top

absolutely DETESTS doing quests in dragonspine

“wHY IS THERE NO TORCH HERE”

*comes across a frostarm lawachurl* “haha NO <3″

“oh don’t worry joel i’ll find your dad!” *5 minutes later* “nvm fuck your dad sorry joel”

has so many ingredients in his inventory so he’s always stocked with food

always denies wooyoung’s request to join

yunho

mains: amber, lisa or kaeya

the first person in the group who started playing genshin and downloaded the game just a few days after it came out

HAS SO MANY GOOD FUCKING CHARACTERS but always mains the three mentioned above bc “they’ve been w me since the beginning you don’t understand the bond we have”

he and san have the most experience w the game so they’re always helping out the other members

absolutely LOVES liyue and likes to glide around bc it’s so pretty

when he’s on the ground he likes to hop around instead of sprint bc according to him it’s more fun that way

he thinks the slimes are cute

is supersuper lucky and gets a new character w every pull (he cried when he got zhongli)

he’s super knowledgeable about how the game works and when he’s trying to explain the other members are like ????? but they just smile and nod bc yunho literally lights up talking about it and they would rather punt themselves into the sun than make him upset

spends lots of his mora leveling up his weapons so as a result he’s always low on that “spare mora pls”

yeosang

mains: qiqi

doesnt really know what he’s doing pt 2 but he’s vibing

started panicking when he had to run (glide) from the knights of favonius and COULD NOT find diluc’s tavern for the longest time

“aww look at the cute animals” he says as he aims his arrow at it

teleports to a statue of the seven in the middle of a boss fight bc all of his characters are dead and he has no food left

wants to throttle tf out of paimon

collects potatoes and radish in the middle of a fight

he’ll put off doing quests but ends up gaining more quests to do so he ends up having like 238743875 different quests

purposefully bumps into the npc’s bc he thinks it’s funny

he, wooyoung, and san all played co-op tgt but ended up just playing hide n seek in liyue

forgot that wangshu inn had an elevator so he’s been taking the stairs the whole time

san

mains: tartaglia/childe

has a personal vendetta against reckless pallad and refuses to save him

the geo hypostasis is the bane of his very existence and he almost cursed it out on more than one occasion

spent 10 minutes trying to climb qingyun peak only to fall off once he reached the top </3

complained a lot during his quest w albedo

“why are we doing all these experiments”

“i am NOT drinking that potion—fuck okay i’m drinking the potion”

“why are you giving me a sword did you steal the sword albedo what the hell”

has the BIGGEST soft spot for razor and he most likely cried a little a lot when he met him for the first time

he rarely ever uses the free characters that the game gives him in the beginning

likes to climb the anemo archon statue in monstadt and sit in its hands

mingi

mains: closes his eyes and whoever he lands on is his main (it’s sucrose)

saw a ruin guard just chilling and immediately turned right back around

has the fattest crush on diluc but dont we all

“...do i have enough stamina to swim across that? i think i do” *ends up drowning not even halfway*

gets super excited whenever he finds a chest but doesnt like having to fight enemies to unlock it

“ooh i see a chest—” *slimes pop up from who knows where* “nevermind”

he gets really into the cut scenes and watches them so intently it’s cute

takes a long time to get his ar up bc he mostly enjoys running around and playing casually

he HATES timed fights bc it stresses him out

racks up a lot of primogems but never really uses them for some reason

feels bad whenever he has to switch a character in his party bc he needs a character with a diff element

“icb the game lets us use good characters during certain quests but then rips them away from us as soon as the quest is over i call scam—”

wooyoung

mains: ningguang or fischl

he was in the middle of a quest but completely forgot about it bc he saw an anemoculus and spent forever trying to get it

likes to bully timmie on a daily basis

“sorry timmie i need fowl” *does an elemental burst on the birds*

he knew how much seonghwa wanted to get diluc so when wooyoung pulled him he rubbed it in seonghwa’s face for 2 whole weeks

during the quests where he has to be sneaky, he always got caught and almost threw his phone after having to restart for the 10th time

when he plays co-op with any of the other members, wooyoung just starts attacking them w his weapons

“fuck the fatui everyone hates the fatui....except tartaglia i like him”

gets annoyed when he sees hilichurls running after him

“i’m just trying to deliver food LEAVE ME ALONE”

will be in the middle of doing a quest when he sees a dog and spends 5 minutes just standing next to it

jongho

mains: diluc

he’s more of a silent player, meaning that he plays the game a LOT but isn’t as vocal about it

“hey jongho what ar are you?” “30″ “...didnt you just start playing three days ago?

*shrugs* “yeah”

the members who have a lower world level than him ask him if he can do co-op and help them defeat some enemies that they’re having trouble w but jongho’s like nah do it yourself

finishes all of his commissions in like 2 minutes

he agrees w diluc and also has a thing against the knights of favonius

“who was the one who defeated stormterror? yeah that’s right ME”

“i snuck in to steal the holy lyre and none of them noticed pssh amateurs”

the only person he’ll play co-op with is yunho and the two of them just wreak havoc all over liyue and monstadt

had to fight 3 ruin guards at the same and hated every second of it

instead of sprinting on the ground he just hops/glides from roof to roof

[ziamln]

Just wondering,why do you think nobody has forced zayn to post about the baby? And is that a good thing or do you think he’s in trouble for it?

It is an interesting question, thank you for asking.

I think a lot of the reason he's been able to get away with it so far is the fact that they've been pushing this crap about him hating social media alongside him being an extremely private person.

A lot of the fans don't even question his lack of 'excitement'/posting because of his anxiety and the slow reduction over the past year of his social media presence. One of the articles that was questioning why zayn wasn't there went on to say that it 'isn't anything out of the ordinary. Its not really about him- he's not the one gestating a baby' [essentially saying hes irrelevant to the posts] and going on to talk about how he's 'notoriously private' and prefers being 'out of the mix' and saying their desire for privacy will only intensify, which is utter bullshit if Giggles latest posts are anything to go off- she's actually getting less and less private.

Also a lot of the baby related posts are all linked directly back to giggles, and rarely Zayn, we've only had 2 posts linking Zayn to being the father and the rest was a shit ton of articles. There's not many people questioning why he hasn't said anything, they're mostly just [alarmingly creepily] idolising his supposed child. They've never questioned his absence BC the relationship has always been tailored to favour giggles and make her out to be this amazing person.

All of a sudden giggles is the most amazing person and a Queen and the best everything. No one wants to remember a single bad thing she's done. I mean they don't question a single thing because they idolise her and her relationship so much they forget how badly this whole things has been played out through the drastic changes in bumps between pictures and don't even get me started on the shambles of the dates and timeline of this mess.

Also I'm not sure how well thought out and planned this whole thing was or whether it was a last minute decision of yes, there's quarantine and its more difficult to stunt so how can we carry this on??? Oh perfect quarantine baby announcement so people can't see the same patterns and flaws from the last two baby gates! [Or I also have the theory about how she may be pregnant [not zayns ofc] and that she fell pregnant around the time this one was announced randomly at 5 months in the middle of lockdown???? Like that's not weird at all...] Like you're trying to tell me she would be careless enough to get pregnant whilst being at the "peak" of her career and was unsure if Zayn was 'the one'... Okayyyyy.

Out of all the Hadids the only one who has explicitly used Zayn's name is Bella in her recent, and that was most likely to promo her new Versace perfume but z*gis didn't see how odd that was and ate that shit up BC omg Bella mentioned Zayn, couple goals!1!! The only other real indication they've had for Zayn being the dad is that hella photo shopped post giggles posted captioned as baby daddy and so now no one is questioning Zayn for not responding because the mother of the child confirmed it and they're obviously loved up and there's nothing else left to question at all is there?

Tbf though with all three of the baby gates it has never been made out to be about the 'father', they get next to nothing out of it. It has always been tailored to suit whatever narrative or promo the 'mother' needs because its all about the fame for them and what they can get out of it and just like hardly anyone questions [other than larries, ziammies or people who can see past the lies] Louis or Liam's involvement in their children's lives, unless theyre hating and calling them a deadbeat [once again proving they get nothing out of this but the 'mothers' do]. 

Giggles has proven time and time again that she loves capitalising off Zayns name, e.g. Mohameds recent [deleted post]- who started trending? G*gi and Z*gi, but not Zayn???? Why??? and then surprise surprise Giggles makes a post... And then, the first thing she does after Zayns posts a selfie after months of silence... The baby daddy post... And people don't even question this shit because being happy for Zayn means they love him so much!!1!!1!1!!! Like its funny how in this whole thing, everyone BUT Zayn has been getting some sort of promo from it. Seriously, go onto google, search Zayn and go on the news bar, not a single article there is Zayn centric, its all about Giggles or the 'pregancy' and Hadids.

Zayn has always been second place when it comes to Z*gi, despite the fact that she has used his name to get to where she is, [you can't deny how much her profile has grown since this shit started] Zayns music gets no attention from the media unless they make it about Z*gi- this has always been about boosting Jelenas career, and its evident about how much press this baby is getting over any of Zayns projects or music.

But no of course because some can see through the lies and question if Zayn is truly happy and actually look into this shit we are fake fans because we aren't playing ball and just being blindly happy for him.

Or maybe its to make people question less if they decide to go down the route of it turning out to not be Zayns child [DNA scandal or something?] Not sure on that one though now that Bella mentioned him... Tbf tho, until Bella mentioned him, if you look back at everyone elses posts, lives or interviews they have never mentioned Zayn, only ever mentioning giggles or 'they'. Honesly, its actually amusing how giggles posted that post saying baby daddy, Zayn actively ignored it, [its not like her posts could get lost in his feed when he only follows 27 people and he couldn't spare her a like i'm-] yet Bella managed to post a picture of Gigi saying baby mama, kind of embarrassing if you ask me, love.

Its funny how he's only hates social media when it suits the narrative. He was pretty active on social media this time a year ago, posting a few times a week or at least a few times every month, and then suddenly at the start of the year he's posting a bit and then, bang- nothing. All of a sudden Zayn hates social media and doesn't post for 5 months after years of regular posts...

So he can come online to post about UFC [which I find adorable] but he can't take a minute to like his pregnant girlfriends pictures and z*gis don't even question that??? It kind of says a lot about what Zayns role in the relationship is to them. Because Giggles is the queen don't forget, Zayn has no relevance unless it suits them or she posts a picture with him, after all, all he did was get her name out there!!!1!!

No one is even questioning Zayns family's lack of response on this whole thing and some of the shade they have thrown, purely because they liked a few posts or made a comment here and there so obviously Zayn is the father and he must be so excited because his family is liking the post, oh wait but he hasn't? No that's totally normal and not questionable at all.

They think being happy for Zayn equates to genuinely caring about him, when in reality its not the case because if they truly cared and weren't so far up Jelenas arse they'd be able to tell what was true and false and whether he was truly happy or not, simple.

As for whether he is in trouble or not, its hard to tell. I should think not, with all the crap he's having to endure the least they could do is leave him in peace. But they're evil personified so chances are they could be very pissed with him and waiting for this 'baby' to be born to wreak havoc and have him super involved. I doubt that would sit well with him though because its obvious to see how difficult he has found stunting since the beginning, this would be hell for him if they made him have to be active. I do have a feeling that BC we are in the endgame of some of these stunts [some contracts may be ending soon] that they could get a lot more in your face with it...

Or maybe because Liam has taken on the engagement they'll go easier on Zayn? I just hope Zayn is not made out to be the bad guy however this ends, he deserves better.

Ok i need to stop because there is so much wrong with this whole thing I could go on about it forever, but either way this whole thing is hella suss, regardless of what you believe. You can't deny it.

I'm sorry this ended up so long, I hope it answered your questions though! x

[onceuponastory]

Coming Back Home Chapter Two: I Am A Heart

“I am a heart that’s hard to pin, You are an arrow sticking in” - hey ocean!: i am a heart 

Read Chapter One: Hometown here!

Plot: Six years ago, Y/N left her hometown and all its bad memories behind, and never looked back. But now, she’s come back to be the maid of honour in her sister’s wedding. Returning ‘home’ means she has to confront her past, the last thing she wants to do. When she meets the handsome best man Nick, she feels more comfortable…until her sister asks her to show Nick around town…a town that Y/N fell out of love with a long time ago.

Can Y/N fall back in love with the town she left behind, and maybe find love of her own along the way? Important: This story is based on a prompt by @orphicodysseywrites​. It’s a mix of prompts one and two from this post, so full credit for this idea goes to them! Warnings: There’s a few mentions of death in this chapter. If you’re sensitive to it and don’t want to read this chapter because of it, I totally understand <3 A/N: This is a very long chapter, almost 2,500 words long, so I hope you all enjoy it, lmao. As always, this chapter has been checked for errors, but if you see any pls do let me know. I’m going to be inactive this coming week, because I’m taking a little staycation to a place with very limited wifi, so if you send me a message/request, it might take me a while to respond. But I will respond ASAP! I will also be trying to work on chapter three/other stuff whilst I’m away, but I REALLY need this break, so pls don’t get mad if I don’t write anything.

Again, special thanks goes to my best friend Jo, aka @thesundrop​, who made this banner, and helped so much with planning this fic. Some of you may know her as @staticscreenwriting​, where she writes Billy fics. Check them out, they’re amazing!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Nick or his character! I just used Nick bc he’s the only character of Dacre’s that fits this prompt. Again, aside from Nick being in this, this fic has NOTHING to do with The Broken Hearts Gallery. But you should all go see the movie if you can, because it’s adorable!

Adjusting my hair and outfit in the mirror for what felt like the hundredth time, I sigh. “You look fine, stop adjusting your outfit...” I tell myself. “Nick’s not going to care how you look....right?” God, I’m a mess. Putting on yet more lipgloss, Jane’s voice echoes in my mind. 

“Both of you look so much like your mother. Especially you Y/N.” She was right, I did. Not that I had many memories of how my mother looked when she was still alive, but hours spent leafing through stacks of photo albums with my Nana and Katie when we were younger had made me more familiar with her and how she looked. She was gorgeous. I wish we had more time with her. If we had, our lives would be very different...and I would never have come to this town in the first place. Suddenly, I feel stinging sensation at my eyes. Aaaaand I’m crying. Great. Just what I fucking needed. A knock sounds at my door. 

“Y/N? Are you alright? You’ve been up here a while.” Nick’s voice sounds through the door. No, THIS is just what I fucking needed. Shit. Now he’s going to think I’m a total emotional weirdo who doesn’t want to spend time with him. Not that that was a TOTAL lie, I did want to spend time with him....just anywhere but here. Oh, he’s going to hate me. “If you’re not feeling well or something’s come up, we could do this another time?” Nick continues, and I sigh again. He’s so sweet. I can’t let him down. Quickly trying to stop the tears from falling, I open the door, and Nick smiles. “Hi. You look great.” I immediately blush.

“Thanks...Oh! So do you!” I gasp, trying not to seem awkward.

“Thank you.” Nick chuckles. He looks at me closer, and his eyebrows furrow together. “Are you okay? Have you been crying?” He asks. 

“Uh, no! It’s just...allergies.” I lie. “The dust in this house is terrible. So...shall we head out?” I ask, and Nick nods. The two of us walk downstairs.

“Byeeee you two! Have fun!” Katie’s voice calls from the living room. Oh, I’m sure I will. 

“So, what do you wanna do?” Nick asks as the two of us leave the house. 

“I don’t mind. I mean, we could go to the park, or for a coffee....or just, a walk in the woods?” I suggest. “Actually, maybe not the woods. There may be an axe murderer, or the big bad wolf or something.” I immediately cringe as soon as the words leave my mouth, and Nick laughs. Oh god, he’s laughing at me and how cringy I am.

“I mean, I didn’t personally think of that, but that’s a valid concern. I think we should take the park then.” He says, and I nod. “This way?” He points towards the town, and I nod. He sets off, leaving me standing there. 

Well, that went better than expected. Oh right, I better go catch up with him. 

“So, how long did you two live here?” Nick asks as we both walk closer into town. 

“Um, about...sixteen years.” I work out the maths in my head. “We moved here when I was four, and Katie was two. We both left to go to college.”

“Oh! I thought this was where you guys were born.”

“Nooo, we just call it our hometown cause we’ve lived here from such a young age. At this point, it feels like our hometown. We’re actually from New York City, and we both moved back there for college. I live there full time now. Katie’s in New Jersey.” I explain.

“Oh, what a coincidence! I live in New York too.” Nick smiles. “Small world, right?” I nod. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, why did your parents pick here to move? This place is nice and all, but it’s a lot different than New York.” He asks. A memory flashes through my mind. 

“What the hell do you expect me to do? I can’t look after them! This shithole is the best option, and you know it.” I shudder, hoping Nick doesn’t notice. 

“Um....just personal circumstances really. Our Dad wanted a change of pace and scenery for us. He thought the city was too busy for us to grow up in.” Nick nods, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Another crisis averted. I look up at the sky and see the leaves on the trees. Some were bright orange, whilst others were red. I sigh happily. “You gotta hand it to my sister, she picked one of the most beautiful times of year to get married.” 

“Yeah, beautiful.” Nick mumbles, and I look back over at him to see him looking at me. 

“What?” His eyes go wide.

“Nothing! Just agreeing with you!” He gasps, before continuing to walk. Okay, that was weird. I shrug it off and follow him down the street. After a while, we reach the park and begin to walk around together. The two of us are silent as we take in the scenery around us. The leaves crunch under our feet. I was right, this time of year really was beautiful. The cold wind blows, and I shiver. “Want my jacket?” Nick asks. 

“No thanks, I’m okay.” I smile. But come on, giving a girl his jacket? That’s so cliché...and so damn cute.

“Want to go on the swings? That might warm you up a bit.” He suggests. Another memory enters my mind.

“When’s he coming back?” I ask, tugging on her skirt. “I miss him.

“...Soon, sweetheart. He’ll be back soon. Why don’t you go and play on the swings and I’ll come over and give you a push in a minute?” She suggests, and I nod vigorously.

“Okay! See you in a minute!” I call, running towards the swings.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go on the swings.”

~~~

A few hours later, Nick and I were in the local coffee shop, chatting about everything from our interests to our time at college. “So when do you want to practise our big dance number?” Nick asks, taking a sip of his coffee. I sigh.

“Oh right, I forgot we’re meant to plan that at some point.” Nick chuckles. “So, what song do you want to pick?” Nick shrugs.

“It’s up to you, I’m okay with whatever.” I raise an eyebrow.

“Really? I don’t think Katie would be happy if we picked something like Baby Got Back to dance to.” Nick bursts out laughing. 

“You’re right. But it would be funny. Any suggestions?” I shake my head.

“I mean there’s so many...maybe something slow? Or something more upbeat?”

“Well we have some time, so why don’t we each make a list and pick one?” He offers. I nod. “You know, I had a really nice time today...” Nick begins. I smile.

“Me too.” And I actually meant it. Despite how much I was dreading this, it went better than I expected. My phone rings, and I take it out of my bag. “Hey, Katie...Yes, I know...Okay, I’ll be back soon. Bye.” I hang up. 

“Everything alright?” Nick asks.

“Sorry, turns out I’m urgently needed for some maid of honour duties, so I gotta go. Are you okay here, or do you wanna walk back to the house with me?” Nick waves me off.

“No, don’t worry, you go on. I need to take care of something in town anyways. See you later.”

“Bye, Nick.” I leave the coffee shop, and start the walk back to the house, almost feeling a spring was in my step. For the first time since being back here, I was happy. I was comfortable. And it was all thanks to Nick. I soon reach Nana’s house and walk inside. “Helloooo!” I call.

“Well, someone sounds happy.” Katie’s voice sounds from the living room. She comes out to greet me. “Oh. My. God. Look at the smile on your face!” She gasps. 

“I had a great time with Nick today.” I explain.

“I can see that. Guess my big sister has the hots for the best man, huh?” She teases. My eyes widen.

“No, I don’t!” My cheeks flush. 

“Mhm sure. Deny it all you want, I can tell. Anyway, come on you, we need to make the centrepieces.” I wasn’t in love with Nick. I may love spending time with him, but I absolutely was NOT in love with him.

~~~

That Night

"We are here today to honour the life of Rose L/N.” The priest begins. “She was a light in the lives of many, especially her two granddaughters, Y/N and Katie, who she is survived by. For most of their lives, she was also their guardian.” 

“He’s not here.” Katie whispers in my ear. I discretely roll my eyes.

“Of course he isn’t. He stopped caring a long time ago.” I reply. I find her hand beside mine and give it a squeeze. “We have to be strong together now, like she said. It’s just us now.”

My eyes open, and I look around the room for a moment to get my bearings. I’m still in my childhood bedroom. It was just a dream. A dream featuring our past. A past I had tried to run from. Of course, it found a way to find me again. It has a funny way of doing that. My eyes drift over to the bedside table, displaying a picture of Katie and I with our Nana from many years ago. I smile softly and run my fingers over the image. “I miss you, Nana. I wish you were still here. To guide me...to guide us.” Laying back on my pillows, I sigh and hold the picture close. “Maybe if you were still here, I wouldn’t be such a mess.”

~~~

One Week Later - Fifteen Days Until the Wedding

“I’m just saying, Cinderella continues to be the best live-action Disney adaptation. It’s faithful to the story, the costumes are great, and it’s just so cute!” I exclaim, trying to stifle a yawn in the process. I was still having nightmares and barely sleeping. Thankfully, I was managing to hide it well, and nobody suspected anything. If they did, I could just lie and say I was up late working on bachelorette party plans and lost track of time. Nick laughs. “What?”

“I love that this is what you’re passionate about.” He grins.

“Well, I’m absolutely right.” I tell him, and he nods.

“Oh, absolutely.” I had a feeling that he had no idea what I was talking about, which was usually the case. But he agreed with me anyway, which I appreciated. Despite all my nightmares and bad memories, spending almost every day with Nick was helping me feel happier, and far more comfortable. It also took my mind off of my nightmares from the previous night. Nick was lovely, and I actually felt upset whenever we had to go back to the house. The fact he was gorgeous helped too, of course. Before I can say anything else, I suddenly spot the town’s bakery and walk over to the window. 

“Look at all these cakes.” I smile. “Oh my god, those cupcakes still look delicious.” I state, staring through the window at them. “My Nana used to bring Katie and me here every Friday after school, and we’d each get a cupcake. I always chose the birthday cake ones, cause it felt like we had a birthday celebration every week.” I smile fondly. “It’s one of my favourite memories of her.”

“Do you want one?” Nick asks, causing me to look over at him. “Seriously, do you want one?” He repeats, taking out his wallet. “They do look amazing. And after all, today is Friday. Can’t waste traditions.” He smiles, and his smile almost makes my heart do backflips.

“Seriously?” I ask.

“Seriously.” Nick opens the door of the bakery. I hear the wind-chimes over the door sound as we both walk in, just like they did all those years ago. The smell of baking is everywhere, filling me with a sense of comfort.

“Oh god, I remember this smell. It’s so...familiar.” I whisper to myself, closing my eyes. In that moment, I feel like I’m a little kid spending time with my Nana again. But when I open my eyes, I’m back to my real life, and the nostalgia is gone.

“I’m coming, just give me a few minutes!” Someone calls from through the back of the bakery.

“Opal?” I ask. Opal was the owner of the bakery...at least when I still lived in Saint Chase. Like Jane, she was friendly and welcoming, and every customer was her friend. She always used to sneak Katie and I samples of her new loaves of bread and cakes before we went to school in the mornings. If we liked them, they stayed. She always called us her honorary business partners. Of course, now I know she probably said that to every kid who wandered in, but it made kid me feel great.

“That’s my name, don’t wear- oh!” She gasps, immediately retreating back through the door she came from. Nick and I give each other a confused look. Rose returns a few moments later, carrying a small cake.“Katie! You look so different from the last time I saw you. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!” She grasps my hand and shakes it vigorously, then does the same to Nick’s hand. “Want to see a preview of the cake? This is in no way finished, but it’s just a small sample of the real thing.”

“Oh no, I-”

 “We’re not-” Nick and I begin, but Opal ignores us. 

"You two are going to just love it.”

“Opal! I’m not Katie!” I insist. She gasps, and her eyes go wide. “Katie is my sister. This is Nick. He’s the best man.”

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry.” Her face goes red. Nick and I reassure her that it’s okay. “Anyway, what can I get you?” Nick and I order our cupcakes, and she rings them up for us. Nick opens his wallet to pay for them, but Opal shakes her head. “No, please, these are on me. Count it as an apology...Seriously. I’m so sorry about the mixup.”

“Well, thank you!″ Nick smiles, taking the cakes and walking towards the door. 

“Y/N...” Opal beckons me in closer, and I lean in. “I just have to say, you two are adorable together. I’m still sorry for my mistake, but honestly, you two look like a great couple.”

“We’re not-”

“Everything okay?” Nick asks.

“Oh! Yeah. Opal just wanted to ask me when we’re picking up the wedding cake.” I lie, giving Opal a pointed look. She nods vigorously. “Come on, let’s go. Bye Opal.” I say quickly, walking towards the door. She waves goodbye to us as we leave the store. Once we’re outside, Nick passes over my cake, taking a bite of his. 

“Oh. My. God.” He moans happily. “That’s incredible.” 

“Right?” I agree, taking a bite of mine. “It’s just as good as I remember.” Nick starts laughing at me again, and my eyes widen. “What? Did I say something weird?”

“You have icing on your face.” He responds. Of course I do. I’m a walking cliché, honestly. “Actually, you know what? I don’t care. This cake is that good.” I take another bite. “And besides, so do you.”

~~~

Later That Day

“That one looks like a dog.”

“A dog? No way. It looks like a hamster.”

“How the fuck does it look like a hamster?” Nick frowns.

“How the fuck does it look like a dog?” I respond, raising my eyebrow. Nick laughs. The two of us had finished eating our cupcakes (and wiped our faces), and were back in the park, drinking coffee and trying to see if we could tell what shape the clouds were.

“Guess we gotta agree to disagree.” I smile. “Even though I’m totally right.”

“Of course you are.” He says sarcastically, and I gasp in mock annoyance. But I don’t detect any malice from his comment...well, I hoped he wasn’t actually annoyed with me or anything, but he didn’t seem to be. Like I said before, I felt comfortable with Nick. Even though we had met a week ago, it felt like the two of us could joke with each other to our hearts content, neither meaning anything bad by it. It was weird how close we were, despite not knowing each other for that long.  “Uh, Nick?” I ask, looking up again.

“Mhm?”

“Do those ones look like rain clouds, or is that just me?”

“I think you’re right, it’s-” The heavens open before he can even finish his sentence. “Oh god, okay, come on, I saw a bike shed or something over there, we can hide out there until it stops.” Nick tells me, quickly taking his jacket off and throwing it at me.

“What’s this for?!” I ask.

“What do you think it’s for?! It’s to hold over our heads!” Nick shouts. “Now come on, let’s go.” He holds out his hand, and I take it. He pulls me up. “Ready to run?” He asks. I nod. The two of us begin running through the park, holding Nick’s jacket over our heads with one hand each. We laugh as we run, trying to avoid slipping on the damp leaves or falling over. We soon reach the shelter, and Nick and I jump under it. The shelter is small, so our bodies are pressed up close against each other. I’m aware of the scent of his cologne again. Nick’s body is warm against mine as he wraps the jacket around my shoulders. 

“You don’t have to give me your jacket.” I protest, but he insists.

“Don’t be silly. What would your sister say if I made her maid of honour catch a cold?” He asks.

“The same thing she’d say if the best man caught a cold.” I reply, trying to take the jacket off. Nick reaches out, gently placing his hands on my arms, stopping me. It feels like electricity runs up my arms as he touches them.

“Y/N, don’t worry about it. Honestly.” The two of us stand there, Nick still holding onto my arms. But it feels good. It feels...right. Nick keeps looking at me. 

“Do I still have some icing on my lips?” I ask. Nick shakes his head. 

“God, you’re so beautiful.” He mumbles loud enough for me to hear. Whether I was supposed to hear it or not, I wasn’t sure. Nick leans closer to me, and my brain immediately goes:

“He’s going to kiss me. Oh my god, he’s going to kiss me. Do I even want him to kiss me?” And I realise that...I think I do want him to kiss me. Nick’s head moves closer to mine, and my head rises up to meet his. But just as our lips are about to touch, my phone rings, causing us to break apart. Dammit. I take my phone out, seeing Katie’s name flash on the screen. She always has the best timing. “Hey Katie. What’s up? ...Yeah it’s raining really badly. Yeah, a lift back would be great. We’re at the park. Okay, see you soon. Love you too. Bye.” Hanging up, I sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Nick responds. However, despite him saying that, it still felt like the air around us had changed. It wasn’t like we could go back to where we left off either, because everything felt awkward now.

Shit.

~~~

That Night

“Be good for your Daddy, okay Y/N?” She bends down and presses a kiss to my forehead. I nod. “I know I can trust you to help him look after your sister, right?”

“Of course, Mommy!” She grins, and pulls me in for a tight squeeze.

“There’s my smart girl.  I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I nod again.

“Have fun, Mommy!” I call, as she walks out of the door. And then, she was gone. The image changes into something else. “Daddy? Where’s Mommy? Why are you crying?” He blinks rapidly and bends down to my eye level.

“Mommy’s had to go, sweetie.” He explains.

“But...but where? She was meant to take me to kindergarten!” He looks away from me.

“I’m sorry. Your mommy’s an angel...she’s not coming back.”

Gasping, I sit up in bed again, looking around the room. My heart is racing. “It’s just a bad dream...Just a bad dream...” I tell myself, trying desperately to calm myself down. Getting out of bed, I cross over to the window, trying to ignore my shaking hands, and peek out at the night sky. Rows and rows of trees disappear into the darkness. “It’s not real. She died almost twenty years ago. It’s just a bad dream.” Clenching my fists, I furiously wipe at my eyes. "Dammit!” I curse.

I hadn’t had nightmares about the death of our mother in at least fifteen years. I thought I was finally getting better. Of course, life had other ideas. “I knew I should never have fucking come back here.” I hiss. That’s why still had bad dreams, because I was back here. I should’ve said no and ran when I had the choice. No, no, that’s stupid. Of course I couldn’t have said no. I could never let Katie down. God knows life let us down enough times already. No, I need to stop blaming the town for my problems. It’s my fault. I thought I was ready and healed, but obviously, I’m not. God, I need a drink. 

Trying to be as quiet as possible, I leave my room and tiptoe downstairs to the kitchen, using my phone torch as a light source. Once I reach the kitchen and flash my light into the room, I almost jump out of my skin when I see a figure sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hey, I- Y/N?” Nick blinks his eyes, clearly startled by the bright light of my phone.

“Jesus Christ Nick! I thought you were a fucking murderer!” I gasp. He frowns.

“A murderer...who sits at the kitchen table? Anyway, why are you up so late? It’s like 2am!” I switch the light on. 

“I could ask you the same thing. Why are you here scaring the life out of me at 2am?” He holds up some paper. 

“Best man’s speech. I had a stroke of genius and decided to write some of it.”

“In the middle of the night? In the darkness? And people say I’m weird.” Nick chuckles. I cross over to the cupboards and get out some mugs to make tea. “Want some tea?” I ask, and he nods.

“Anyway, you didn’t answer my question. What brings you here at this hour?”

“Oh I just love hanging out with men in kitchens at 2am, didn’t Katie tell you?” I tease, filling the kettle and putting it on to boil. Nick laughs. I can’t tell him the truth. Then he would think I was weird. “But seriously. Couldn’t sleep.” I mean, that wasn’t a total lie. Nick didn’t have to know the truth. “How’s the speech going?”

“Ehhh?” Nick responds. I turn back to him and raise an eyebrow. “Not well.”

“I can tell.” The kettle finishes boiling, and I pour the water into the mugs. “But I’m here now, so you have an extra person to help you.”

~~~

One Hour Later

“Y/N...Y/N?” I hear someone whispering. Is someone....nudging me? I look up. Why was my head on the table? I notice that Nick has scooted closer to me. Is he the one nudging me?

“Mmm, Nick...whashappenin?” I mumble. 

“You fell asleep.” He explains. I shoot up in my seat and rub my eyes. 

“What?!” I gasp. “Why didn’t you wake me up?! I was meant to be helping you with your speech!” 

“It’s alright, don’t worry.” Nick reassures me. “You looked really tired, so I thought I’d let you sleep. You sure you’re okay?” He asks. Before I can say anything in response, I yawn. “Guess that answers my question. I think you should go to bed.” I shake my head.

“Nope. I’m not....” I cut myself off with another yawn. Nick gives me a look. “...Okay, maybe I’m a little bit tired.” I admit.

“Mhm. Come on, let’s get you to bed.” He helps me up. I protest, but he continues to do so. “Y/N, trust me. You need some sleep. You’ll thank me later.” I realise he’s probably right. So, I let him lead me upstairs and into my bedroom, his hand resting on the small of my back. “So uh....can you take care of yourself from here?” He asks. I chuckle softly and nod.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks Nick.” I smile. “Goodnight.”

“Night Y/N.” 

~~~

The Next Morning - Thirteen Days Until the Wedding

“You invited Great Aunt Hilda? Seriously? All she’s going to do is talk about her cats.” 

“That’s why she’s sitting with you. At least you’ll have something in common.” Katie jokes. I jokingly punch her in the arm. “Hey!” She laughs. The two of us were spending the day arranging seating charts and finalising the seating plan. So far, it was all going well, and we managed to make it fun. “Oh, god.” Katie wrinkles her nose. “I forgot both Uncle Chris and Aunt Pamela said yes, AND they’re bringing plus ones. That’s gonna be rough.”

“I’m sure it’ll be okay. Didn’t they get divorced like three years ago?” I ask.

“Yeah, but I don’t think Aunt Pam’s gonna be a fan of his plus one....” She raises her eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh right, he dumped her for his secretary, the one with the big boobs, didn’t he? Are they still together?”

“Yuuuup. She’s the plus one.”

“Better sit those two as far away from each other as possible then...” I mumble, trying to arrange the tables on my side of the chart as best as I can. Studying the rest of the little figures representing people, I frown, seeing one I haven’t seen before. One I definitely did not expect to see. I pick it up, and my eyes go wide. “Uh, Katie?”

“Mhm?”

“...Why does our Dad have a seating place?”

[rockets-and-raccoons]

My mum knew when I was really young that I wasnt straight. Not that she consciously recognised it. I was the child she constantly told that love was love. I could love whoever I wanted and that was okay. I was the child that was constantly told by my parents that gays deserved rights and that they would always love me no matter what. I was the child they excitedly told when gay marriage finally became legal.

I grew up repressed with severe internalized homophobia issues. To the point where to this day I still severely struggle with it.

My grandad doesnt believe in gay rights. He thinks it's a phase. That these people are ill. The village I grew up in was very Christian. Being gay was wrong. It was disgusting. Gay people needed serious mental help (ironically half the people my age that grew up there have turned out to be part of the lgbtq+ community).

I went to high school in the neighbouring city. Where everyone around me talked about how disgusting being gay is. The fear of a gay person in the changing rooms was talking about constantly. Gay adoption and marriage was considered wrong. Liking people of the same sex was considered disgusting and uncomfortable.

I was terrified everytime I had to get changed for pe. I was terrified to just look at other girls. And it didnt help that the majority of my friends were boys. I didnt spend much time with girls. The one girl I was good friends with- was suddenly the source of rumours. Everyone at school knew before I did. Talked about if before I accepted it.

She's gay.

I denied it. I didn't believe I was for a second. Did everything I possibly could to prove I wasn't. And yet for my last 2 years at school everyone made jokes about my sexuality. Told me I was gay and in love with my friend. (Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn't. I refused to process my emotions properly back then.) They joked about how I was only straight until I was horny. That I was so obviously gay. But it was a joke. A mocking thing that made me feel so horrific that I did awful, horrific things to prove everyone wrong. Things I have to live with, that i hate myself for. Just becaus every time someone suggested I might be gay, all I could think of was 'it's so wrong.' 'Its disgusting' 'its cruel to children to be raised by gay parents' '1 in 5 people are gay, I sure as hell hope it's never going to be me' 'nobody wants to be gay, it's an illness.' 'I cant be around gay people, they make me uncomfortable' 'they'll stare at you in the changing rooms' 'they'll force themselves on you'

I still cant share a bed with another girl without being terrified. I cant be in the same room as another woman getting changed - I havent had to deal with PE in a decade. Havent heard those whispers in a decade.

Every time I become friends with another girl I'm terrified of what will happen when they find out I'm gay. I can't connect with them properly.

And sometimes. Sometimes I just truly hate myself. I hate the fact I find women attractive. That I'd rather spend the rest of my life with a woman rather than a man. Sometimes, often, I still find that disgust curling up in my stomach.

It doesnt matter that I dont live there anymore. That I now live somewhere so open and so easy to accept everyone and anyone. It doesnt matter that I've admitted it to myself, my family, and my friends. That I tell people so easily, I'm gay.

I'm still terrified of what would happen if people from my home found out. I still hear their conversations. Their mocking words. I still feel the effects of their homophobia. And sometimes I still wish I could pretend I was straight.

I was lucky to be born into such an open and accepting family. But by god, I wish I'd been brought up where I live now. I wish I didnt lie in bed hating myself so much at times. I wish I could be at peace with who I am. Rather than wishing I could go back in time and somehow change myself.

I remember telling my mum I was gay, and her not understanding why I was so distraught. Because 'you should know by now I love you no matter what' - and I didnt know how to tell her society, my friends, our community, were all going to despise me. Hate me. Tell me I told you so. I told my dad minutes after he said he wished his daughters were gay bc he hated dealing with the heterosexual drama and boyfriends. He couldn't understand why I was crying, because he wanted gay children. He had told me my whole life he would always love me no matter what. I was free to love whoever I wanted. And I didnt know how to tell him the world made me feel like I was disgusting and wrong and my existence was even worse than that of rapists.

And my grandpa, who I dont get on with, who doesnt really like me, who I was sure hated the gay community (and he has since admitted that if it was years prior he would have disowned me over sexuality) emailed me to tell me he was proud of me, that being gay wasnt wrong and he had been wrong about how he felt about the lgbtq+ community.

My grandad still thinks I'm going through a phase.

My best friend came out to me in tears, telling me he wished he had known we were both struggling, so we could have at least had each other.

When I finally told my other friends. There was no 'I told you so's' suddenly talking about sexuality wasnt a thing. It was a taboo topic nobody wanted to deal with. The girl everyone joked I was in love with, slowly disappeared from my life.

It's funny until it's true. And that's when you really realise the jokes were really, truly jokes. They didnt believe what they were saying. They just enjoyed the rise they got out of you.

And when I think about being a teenager. Despite the fact its ten years long. The only thing I can truly remember is the internal and external homophobia. Everything else feels hazy. The good times. The bad. It's all a fog that's over-taken by the self-loathing that I still carry.

I wish I could tell my teenage self that it gets better.

I wish my parents would believe me when I tell them I dont blame them for living where they did. We couldn't afford to move. They loved me, they love me, and that's what matters.

I wish I hadnt spent so long chanting 'I'm not gay' before bed. Because I knew from the age of 13, and spent the rest of my teen years in denial. Telling myself I was wrong.

But then I see my sister. My sister who is 10 years younger than me. Who had a big sister come out when she was just 8 years old (I came out at 18, yet spent a further 2 years trying to prove I wasnt. I came out too early. But I figured myself out. Accepted myself more, with the help of my family, and my best friend). She has grown up with more progressive media. Has moved to a more progressive place. Hell, her school has an lgbtq+ club. She has one (1) straight friend. She came out as bisexual at 12. But the older shes getting she thinks that her male crushes were caused by heteronormality and she thinks she might be gay. And shes open. Shes proud. Shes unapologetic in who and what she is.

I think about my self hatred. My self-loathing. About my internalised homophobia. I think of every night I spent lying in bed thinking 'One in five people is gay, it's not me. It won't be me. I'm not gay.' And I look at my little, wonderfully, unapologetically herself, little sister. And I think, that every struggle I've ever been through is worth it. If she gets to feel proud of herself because I've come out. Because my parents had to move bc of me. Because I've done everything I can to support her. To love her. To pretend to love myself for who I am in front of her.

Every day I struggle, I think to myself she doesnt have to. I'm one of the last millennials. She's gen z. And shes not my kid. But theres such a large age gap that I feel that generational difference. And I can't have children of my own. And suddenly, I find myself understand what my parents mean when they say that their suffering was worth it whenever they see us gain something out of it. Making things easier for someone you love, for someone so young, it makes it almost feel like it was worth it.

That trauma is going to stay with me. But my coming out too early, is what had my sister questioning her own sexuality. And it happened early enough in her life. She was questioning it before she hit her teens. She told me she knew she liked girls before she hit ten. But she wasnt too sure what that meant. And she wa worried because biphobia in our family is bad. But the we moved away. And she was watching adventure time and steven universe. And I was suddenly openly accepting myself and flirting with girls. And making jokes about my sexuality. And she came out. So young. So proud. And my parents were accepting of her bisexuality (albeit worried about how the rest of the family would react). And I did what I could to support her. Buying badges and flags and taking her to pride. And now shes come out as fully gay and I'm so happy and hoe safe she felt her journey has been. That at 15 she isnt scared to tell her friends (and they're not afraid to tell her). At 15 she might actually have a girlfriend. And shes been to pride. Goes to pride.

And I am so, so proud of her.

I would love to go back in time and tell myself that it's okay to accept who I am. But I cant.

But my sister grew up knowing it was okay to accept who she was. And my coming out helped my best friend accept who he was.

I didnt have any lgbtq+ friends growing up (that I knew about). There were no clubs. No tv shows. My only support was my mum and my dad.

My sister has a club. She has our family. Her friends. Her school (no awful changing room comments. No snide remarks) She has an open and accepting community. I feel so relieved that she'll (hopefully, pls universe, be kind to her) never have the same experiences I did.

[marigoldbaker]

OKAY. issue 14! bet you’ve all really missed these posts, huh?

so as i mentioned earlier today: when i first saw that bitty preview, my heart went “it would be so funny/ridiculous/wonderful/tragic if jenny was staring into the camera contemplating how fucking much she really wished she hadn’t just hooked up with her kinda emotionally unavailable boyfriend,” and i reluctantly discarded that possibility as relatively unlikely (which i REALLY REALLY REALLY need to learn to NOT DO at this point given that boom studios has spent an entire year just going out of its way to exceed my expectations!!! ridiculous!!!) and moved on with my life.

And Then.

(a brief reprieve from my meta to SCREAM about giles and jenny and their HOOKUP. a THING THAT HAPPENED. she is IN HIS BED. the only canon i respect is reboot canon that’s IT.)

this conversation’s been a long time coming. jenny planted the seeds for it in issue 6:

and was subsequently (and gently) shut down by giles in a way that -- at the time, and without seeing his decision in the museum when the chips were down -- did seem like genuine growth and understanding on his part.

when we circle back to giles’s watcher-related hang-ups, it’s framed this time as something that has the potential to hurt jenny -- something that he will always place above her, in a way that initially made me assume that canon was building towards jenny demanding a relationship where she’s prioritized unequivocally first.

but jenny’s real concerns get brought up again in issue 14.

giles brings up the concept of “healing together,” framing the entire thing as just a communication snafu that they can work together to resolve -- and emphasizing that his priority here is rebuilding his relationship with jenny. his decision to let joyce die at the museum is described by him as “an unfair test that you had to endure,” and he very clearly sees the entire thing as water under the bridge now that they’re both safe, alive, and in their right mind.

jenny is very clearly not in that place.

and now it is time for me to SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, because THIS. THIS is the kind of jenny-and-giles content that i didn’t even know i wanted!!! they’re very clearly in love in a big, messy way that neither of them are trying to deny or work around; they’ve been an important part of each other’s lives for long enough that they feel comfortable calling each other out (whether it’s giles in issue 9 emphasizing that he’s “always been there” for jenny despite her tendency to shut him out, or it’s jenny in . uh. literally every single second she’s in a scene with giles, to be honest), and this is a genuine opportunity for growth on giles’s part that canon NEVER, EVER afforded him.

here’s where i stop waving my “jenny and giles have been married forever in boom reboot canon” flag for a little while, though, because i think that that actually detracts from the utter amazingness of jenny’s characterization here. when thinking of jenny’s determination to make knowledge accessible to all, coupled with the fact that any comments she made about buffy in canon reflected buffy’s age (i.e. buffy is a BABY), it’s pretty obvious that she would so not be okay with the deal buffy’s been handed. ESPECIALLY when juxtaposed with jenny’s own relationship to duty and destiny -- and the fact that she was herself forced into a situation she didn’t choose and cannot turn away from. obviously original canon never actually explored jenny’s motivations, personal philosophy, and internal thought process (because original canon kinda just threw random plot points at jenny so that giles would have a hot girlfriend, which is gross), but jordie is doing a PHENOMENAL job of that here. it doesn’t MATTER how long jenny and giles have been dating in this situation: jenny is not here for your watchers’ council patriarchal bullshit, and she is ESPECIALLY not here for the fact that buffy and kendra are on death row while giles gets to opt out.

and before we dissect what quickly becomes an INCREDIBLE AND EXTREMELY CHARGED CONVERSATION, here’s an important thing that @ifeveristoday​ brought to my attention: the fact that jenny’s calling him “giles” and not rupert.

way back in og canon, names were a HUGELY important part of both giles and jenny’s character arcs and their relationship to each other. they both had fragmented, fractured identities (jenny and janna, rupert and ripper, i’ve talked about this literally so often let’s move on), and the way they addressed each other very often said a lot about where they were. jenny almost always called giles rupert in canon, very clearly as an attempt to bridge the gap between them; the only times she calls him giles or mr. giles are in “when she was bad” (when she’s clearly trying to keep herself balanced in the face of new and fluttery feelings) and in prophecy girl (yeah, that one’s just inconsistent writing. that’s how jenny’s character flows.)

keeping that in mind, i always was a little bit thrown by the fact that jenny’s called giles by his surname so often in this canon -- but now that we’ve got a pretty solid arc going when it comes to their relationship, there’s a pretty established pattern in the writing.

outside of this issue, here are the places where jenny’s called him giles:

and in each of these other instances, you wanna guess what she’s doing? shutting him out. it’s a little gentler in issue 6 (and she’s more easily swayed), but in all of these situations, she is very clearly distancing herself from him. jenny’s got a habit of trying to pull back and away when the going gets tough, specifically because she knows giles well enough to know that she’s not gonna get through to him on watcher-related matters.

back to THIS.

FELLAS. OH MY FUCKING GOD. i don’t even know where to START here, so let’s go with the easiest one: issue nine set me the FUCK up!!!! jenny pulling away from giles, jenny expressing deep hurt and sadness when it becomes clear that he prioritizes buffy over all else...i automatically assumed that this is her realizing that her boyfriend would have let her die and being horrified about THAT. but the reality of this -- the reality revealed by this issue -- is SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER: the horror that we see on jenny’s face is because the man she loves has been warped by a corrupt system to the point where he doesn’t understand the kind of hurt he’s perpetuating.

and then !!!! jenny absolutely refusing to accept giles’s answer of “this is so much harder for me than you can ever understand,” because he is a grown man with the ability to opt out and she is advocating for two teenage girls who do not have that same luxury. he keeps on trying to turn the argument into something about how buffy’s life isn’t THAT bad, about how buffy’s not REALLY on her deathbed, about how buffy is strong and incredible and jenny is doing her a disservice -- but jenny repeatedly shuts that shit down. “it’s like a religion for you,” she says, like that’s not the rawest fucking line she’s ever gotten to say. thank you, jordie bellaire, for my goddamn life.

and then jenny LEAVES. and she does not fall back into giles’s arms when he says that togetherness is such an important component of healing after the hellmouth. and that says a whole damn lot about what both of them want: jenny wants giles to take accountability for the shitty things HE did and continues to do, and giles...loves jenny and wants her in his life to the point where he’s not listening to a single thing she’s trying to say.

let’s bring back my favorite panel from issue 9:

this sums up my point pretty well, i think. giles keeps on thinking that jenny doesn’t hear what he’s saying -- that if he says it a different way, stresses a different point, she’ll cave and understand how much he loves her and wants to be with her. but the thing is, he’s the one who isn’t listening: jenny is repeatedly saying that she loves him, and that that’s why she’s holding him to the standard that she does. she knows that he can be better than he is, and she’s disappointed in the man he’s becoming.

at this point, i’m pretty sure there’s more to come with regards to giles and jenny. this is a narrative that has very clearly tossed the concept of “world’s best watcherly dad” in favor of “the watchers’ council fucks up the lives of teenage girls and giles is complicit in that.” jenny leaving giles has the potential to push him towards positive growth and character development -- or he could continue to firmly and stubbornly ignore the reality of his situation.

personally, i’m DEEPLY hoping that it’s the former -- and that we get to see giles and jenny come together again after they’ve had the opportunity to grow outside of their relationship. i think there could be something really powerful and wonderful about seeing giles deconstruct his shitty watcher-related views & work towards becoming someone who can genuinely help buffy and kendra (AND smooch his ms. calendar silly, bc she’s sure been having a time of it as of late.) and can you imagine how great 2020 would be with a giles and jenny who have actually learned how to effectively communicate???? ASTOUNDING.

tl;dr: rupert giles and jenny calendar are VERY much in love with each other, VERY sick of each other’s bullshit, and VERY stupid. let’s hope they get their house in order.

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Cardcaptor Sakura S1

For faithfulness reasons, I’ll forgo rewatching in English even though I’m Jared 19 and never learned how to read 

I will say the original English dub had a BANGER of a theme song and I do miss that

"I’m a Fourth Grader at Tomoeda Elementary” I know I watched this like when I was age 7 or smth but SHE’S LIKE 10?? OH MY GOD who is letting this ten-year-old roam the streets

“I’m gonna stomp on him” [Lucille Bluth voice] good for her

I fully forgot Sakura had a dad I was ready to accept her Grade 11 brother raising her

Sakura’s roller blades give me visceral memories of my barbie skates

Lmao is Yuki’s ability to throw a piece of candy at a child from a moving bicycle backwards foreshadowing his superhero abilities

Okay having checked this scene in both English versions and Japanese, my opinion no one asked for: the Aminax version is bad voices on all counts, Japanese has a better voice for Toya and original English dub has a better voice for Sakura and Yukito (who they called Julian lmao) I am not accepting constructive criticism 

Tomoyo and Sakura sound so similar I could not even tell that Tomoyo was speaking omg

“There isn’t anything cuter or more interesting than you Sakura-chan” Tomoyo is really honest with her feelings I guess ten-year-olds be like that sometimes

“Is someone there” home invasions are what happens when you don’t lock your front door

This is not a study lmao this is a personal library there is hardly a workspace just aisles of shelves

Oh shit The Clow WIND RAIN SHADOW WOOD SWORD POWER THUNDER SLEEP CARD CAPTORS OF THE CLOW EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED NOW

Wait if this is hanging out in her dad’s study was her dad the last Cardcaptor lmao

Or probs her mom, since she’s gone the way of all anime moms

Sakura is accepting this whole “tiny magical flying lion” thing p well

“I accidentally fell asleep” “For how long” “30 years” same

“Stand right over there” Kerberos does not ask permission before magical girl transforming you lmao

“Why are you acting so wimpy” bc she’s 10 and you’re asking her to fight a giant ghost bird???

Honestly I love a good quest-to-collect-important-items maybe Inuyasha and DBZ ruined my taste but it’s a great formula 

“You’ll be a better adult if you have all sorts of experiences in your life” r u going to take career counselling advice from a tiny flying lion Sakura

I do kind of miss Kero’s slightly unhinged young man energy

I like that whenever Sakura’s brother is rude she steps on his foot or kicks him fkjhjgkh excellent little sister depiction

I was expecting more secrecy but it is very funny to see Tomoyo try to convince her friend to be a superhero

“Do a flashy one” kfhkjdhkj Kero supports the use of magic powers for showing off

“Trademark poses and skills are the basic parts of being a magical girl” oh my gooood

I mean if I walked into my school and there was a mountain of haphazard desks waiting there I too would be threatened 

Sakura is the only one in this group who has a reasonable understanding of what ten-year-olds should be allowed to do

LMAO @ Tomoyo’s team of bodyguards dropping her off to break into the school ONLY TO DRIVE AWAY

Tomoyo and Kero’s friendship is killing me the SHENANIGANS

I’m not sure I accept this light logic bc you need light to cast a shadow

Sakura’s “heart-racing first date” ur TEN oh my god

I mean it’s nice that Sakura wants to save the penguin but why did it take that for her to get upset it was going to drown a whole adult woman

Did Toya just RIP APART a WHIRLPOOL with his BARE HANDS

I wonder how Toya feels that his little sister has a crush on his boyfriend lmao

This cell phone is really top of the line for 1999 lmao I love it 

U know if I were a high school student and my friend asked my 10 year old sibling out to lunch instead of me I’d be confused

"They’re not even gonna hold hands? Kids these days” This is a VERY weird vibe for an episode

You know I guess if you never watch the second episode you never have context for all of these superhero outfits LMAO

None of these locations have security cameras I guess the 1990s was a lawless time

Will all of Yuki’s magical advice be delivered in the form of mysterious field trips

LMAO @ YUKITO ALWAYS TAKING SAKURA TO TOYA’S TEMP JOBS

Say what you will about the ominous influence of the other card, I think Wood is being fairly polite since it’s contorting around her house instead of destroying it lmao

“I was planning to film ‘Sakura Dances in the Jungle’ in the park today” I love Tomoyo 

Every little girl in this show sounds so similar lmao this is not good for my distracted watching style 

Wow Ms Maki is really unloading on these two fourth grade girls 

Since Tomoyo clearly interacts with even the more spirit-like Clow Cards I really have to wonder why no one else in this town is seeing these giant ghost monsters loom around the city

Well I guess this episode is a direct response to my previous comment 

“I can’t stand scary stories” says the girl who spends her nights going into isolated areas and fighting magical ghosts

Seeing Sakura activate her Fly card really gives me overwhelming nostalgia for the days I wanted nothing more than to be a Cardcaptor I used to wave around a toy broom like that magic key ahhhhhhhh

In the absence of the first English voice and with the added gentle Japanese intonation for his speaking, I am constantly forgetting that Yukito’s character is a 16-year-old boy 

Toya is really casually bomb-dropping the fact that he used to see ghosts and Yuki’s just like ‘dope are there ghosts around now’

Omg Kero’s sad face as he dropped the flower in Sakura’s lap 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“I want to see if she wants to tell me something” like maybe ‘don’t run around town at night chasing ghosts ur 10!!!’ 

UHHHH AGAIN TOYA REAL CASUAL ABOUT THE GHOST THING 

Yukito Tsukishiro: Chronic Aid-er and Abet-er of Pre-teen Mischief 

Also if I’m right his name means something like “Ice White Moon?” Very heavy-handed foreshadowing lmao

“After we left, I went to the museum again and borrowed one” TOMOYO U CASED THE JOINT KJDHFKJHF

WHY IS EVERY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KID IN THIS TOWN ABLE TO BREAK INTO THIS MUSEUM SO EASILY

Tomoyo is eerily well-prepared for this mission it’s like she has been planning to burgle a museum all her life

They really made an executive choice to have both a Yuuki and a Yuki that was a decision that someone made

Oh hey it’s the other pre-teen supehero!!! That guy!!

The more I think about it, the stranger the height difference between Sakura and her brother becomes bc compared to him she’s really like 2.5 feet tall they did not pick a proportion scale

U see this what I mean by gentle intonation, Syaoran somehow sounds older than Yuki simple by roughness of voice

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TOYA U DEFEND UR SISTER

“Here, a steamed pork bun” Yuki sure nows how to de-escalate lmao 

“That is made out of an insulator as well” Tomoyo is really prepared for any and every situation

It’s not fair of Li to compare what is probably years of magical training from his family to ‘trial by fire for eight weeks with a plush toy who doesn’t explain anything important until critical moments’

I’m really not sure what’s happening with Rika and the teacher but I DON’T LIKE IT

“I just want to be with you as long as possible” [cut to floral pattern] Tomoyo is aiming to supersede Yuki as Gentle Shojo Protagonist Sakura Fixates On looool

I’m sure there’s NOTHING significant about this familiar-looking sword brooch

Kero biting Li whenever whenever he says something rude to Sakura kghkjghk direct feminist action

What IS THIS business with Li running away flustered like that are pre-teen Cardcaptors ONLY allowed to have a crush on Yukito

“I guess I’ll have to beat him up once” Toya has zero qualms about fighting a ten-year-old

Two fourth graders giving Yukito chocolate while he peacefully hangs out with his boyfriend is the funniest version of executing this weirdness that could happen

What I’m really wondering is how the hell they cut out or explained away Li’s crush in the first English anime

“You were just a fledgling teacher and you married one of your [high school] students!!” u did WHAT what the FUCK MR. KINOMOTO I’m on Sonomi’s side

“Mother got married when she was 16″ MR. KINOMOTO CANCELLED! BANNED! THE HELL IS THIS!

“It was I who was granted time with Nadeshiko from her 16th to 27th birthdays” GO 2 JAIL DO NOT PASS GO 

This episode has added a lot of layers to this show none of which I like

“What kind of person was my dad” someone who should be banned from teaching

“Your father is a disgusting person” WELL

SONOMI I KNOW UR TRYING TO BE NICE BUT HE HAS AT LEAST ONE MAJOR FLAW

Lmao they’re not even giving context why Yuki is around anymore he’s just an accepted artifact of the Kinomoto household

How is that the Time card is Li’s but not Thunder since he also returned that one to its original form

“Their fastest confirmed speed is over 100km/h” Yamazaki leave Li alone he just wants to adore the sloths jhfkhgjhgkhg

Ahhhhhh Li helping Sakura get the Power card?? These motives are quite hard to read but it seems sweet

OMGGG @ TOMOYO MAKING SAKURA DEADLIFT A PLAYGROUND

“I heard a rumour that everyone who asked Kinomoto out has been denied.” Well. [x]

“It’s one of the seven strangest things at this school, that both Kinomoto and Tsukishiro don’t have girlfriends.” WELL. [x]

AWWWWW YUKI DOESN’T LEAVE THE OTHER PRE-TEEN FAN CLUB MEMBERS OUT OF HIS KIND GESTURES

[Hannibal Buress voice] I was so caught up in euphoria of festival arcs, that for like a minute I lived in a world where the rest of this anime didn’t exist 

TOYA BEING THE STAR OF DRAG CINDERELLA... OP UR MIND

I have no idea what the premise of the next Clow Card is but I really hope it’s “turn u into whatever ur acting as” bc I will LOSE my mind

I have not heard Yuki once intone as passionately as he did when he thought Toya was going to fall 

“You like someone else” 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

“I didn’t promise anyone else a dance” Can I just say I LOVE TOYA?

The moment of stillness before Yukito revealed who he was asking to dance lmao... the repressed teenage wlw inside me LIVES

Yuki and Toya tag-teaming as the Sakura Support Team my heart!!

Geolocating someone from a fax... the incredible 90sness of this act....

I seriously don’t understand this world in which you leave 5- and 10-year-olds unattended for hours where are your child welfare laws

I am really choosing to ignore how absolutely bananas the concept of Tomoyo having a hidden Sakura Movie Theatre is

Speaking of weird, are we just trusting that this old man is normal? Is everyone doing that? I’m still not ready to trust yet the Sakura’s dad situation really burned me

“Girls look their best when they smile” a sweet thought that would not fly if an old man I just met told me that lmao

I’m REALLY not trusting this old man dressing up this girl in his dead (missing?) granddaughter’s clothes and staring broodily when she mentions there is a parent with her

“My great-granddaughter seemed happy” YOUR WHAT NOW 

Their school trips seem much more fun than ours were we never went to the beach or fishing or got disappeared briefly in a cave

It continues to be funny how Sakura and Li have 0% tension re: Clow Cards, 99% tension re: Yukito who is already in a committed Something or the Other with Sakura’s brother

“Why were you on the roof” “Because it’s nice out today” LOL YUKITO

There’s no rhyme or reason to these card types huh some are like “I will destroy an entire zoo for fun” and other ones are like “mood lighting :)”

Sakura really isn’t out here to teach us any lessons lol it’s really a ‘get others to do your homework if you can get away with it’ episode

Rounding out the triad of superpowered pre-teens with Meilin I suppose

“Syaoran is my fiance” I have had it up to HERE with this anime cousinfuckery I don’t CARE if it’s cool in Japan or Hong Kong or whatever STOP BEING WEIRD WITH YOUR COUSINS

Poor Syaoran he was doing so well with getting along with Sakura until Meilin got here

"It was done by a girl again?” Oh my god is Meilin beating up grown men in parks for street cred

“It seems our relationship chart has gotten rather complicated” Tomoyo probably means astrology chart but here’s my understanding so far:

Speaking of complex relationships I wonder how Meilin will react to Syaoran’s crush on Yuki

This rivalry between Sakura and Meilin could not be more one-sided

I really was wondering for a second if the card was going to split in half

I love the vibe of Sakura and Toya teaming up to help their creepy dad but even MORE SO I love that Yukito is In This Household

“The contents are already up here” This episode really doesn’t hit the same way now that cloud storage exists and also what were all those floppy disks for if not to save your work Mr. Kinomoto

I love that Tomoyo always pulls her weight in her superhero sidekick role like she is here to support and help whenever needed 

Sakura using her powers to impress her crush with a ghost duet lmao these priorities 

“Sakura’s Little Adventure” I see what u did there

Kero’s little shoulder pat with his paw to let Sakura know he’s there aw

Omg this Clow Card is so cute “Is it your fault I’m so small now?” [nods pleasantly]

It is very bold of Sakura to be doing magic so casually when her brother and Yuki are right downstairs 

I like that this show recognizes the inherent intimacy of allowing someone to cut your hair

“Information about you has gotten around to the cards” well this is an ominous start to this funky tarot reading

Well the experience of seeing his little sister try to murder him has got to be traumatizing for Toya I hope he doesn’t remember this

UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM DID TOYA JUST FALL OFF OF A CLIFF

“Can you give me a break... and stop looking like Sakura” EXCUSE ME

“My mom’s up there too, so say hi to her for me” OH MY GOOOOD TOYA REALLY DOES SEE GHOSTS AHHHHHHHHHHH

WAIT SO IT WAS A CLOW CARD DOES TOYA HAVE MAGICAL POWERS TOO

Omg @ Toya feeding Yuki from his bed this really is an intimate episode

I kind of appreciate the slow build of this show like it took them 25 episodes to introduce meaningful stakes

“But it might be tougher than the earth going ‘boom!’ Depending on who you are...” Well hello threatening figure in sunglasses standing outside Sakura’s house what’s up

“I’ll look the other way” Ms Mizuki is literally this meme:

I can only assume that if Toya knows Ms. Mizuki then she must be a ghost

Personally if Mizuki gives Syaoran the heebie jeebies I trust his instincts

“Um... do you like Yukito too?” Oh my goooood they’re sincerely discussing being Not Straight in middle school in this 90s anime that I watched when I was 7 I cannot believe

“And it’s been a year since you told me you loved me here” WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS FAMILY WANT TO DATE SOMEONE TOO OLD FOR THEM WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING DATING SOMEONE TOYA’S AGE MIZUKI

Also I have to rethink every thought I had about Toya being gay. I mean bi is great too but my thoughts..... racing...........

“Because the next time I see you, you’ll have someone else that you’ll be in love with” Yukito BF confirmed but oh my GOD this relationship chart IS complicated good lord

If there’s anything the episode “Sakura and Her Shrine of Memories” has taught me it’s that everyone in this show is bisexual and all teachers in their neighbourhood should be in jail

I understand that Meilin is a kid but poor Syaoran he is constantly being harassed 

I love Yuki’s bottomless stomach lmao

Syaoran and Sakura have such a genuinely supportive relationship but it is very funny how they try simultaneously to get Yuki’s attention with the exact same words

“I’ve been thinking for a while that Mr. Terada is a lot like my dad” oh thank you Rika for someone finally being normal in this show

“Well it’s a harmless one” You see this is what I mean the dichotomy of Clow Cards is like... “I’m going trap you in a maze until you perish” or “I’m gonna give you a sugar rush :]”

I like that Sakura and Syaoran are starting to partner up as a duo on purpose like yessss I love a 1-2 finish and friendship development

Ahhh poor Syaoran he’s realizing that Yukito’s #1 in his life is the Kinomoto fam

We’re all familiar with the eternal struggle of whether using ur superpowers for school sports is cheating 

AWWW SYAORAN USING HIS POWERS FOR MAGICAL PEP TALKS AFTER HE HELPED TURN REI’S PET FOX INTO A POKEMON CARD THAT’S MY BOOOOY

“I will stomp on him” it’s been 31 episodes let Sakura stomp on her brother

Oh my GOOOD does this Big card mean that Sakura WILL FINALLY STOMP ON TOYA LMAO

Ur telling me that no one else in this ENTIRE TOWN notices this altercation of a giant preteen vs a dragon

Why does the logic for how voices travel based on size apply for the Little card (when Toya was speaking) and not for the Big card (when Sakura is speaking)

Sgskdhgkhkgjh honestly body switching as a trope will never not be funny

Syaoran blushing and running away from Sakura oh how the turn tables

Every domestic scene that Yuki and Toya have adds ten years to my life we love some gay/bi teens about to be gay/bi adults

Ffskhhfkj I absolutely cannot relate to this Southern Hemisphere nonsense of finding ten degrees celsius arctic cold like BRO that is a normal spring day here

“We’re not frozen because we have magical powers” I know that cutaway was to confirm Mizuki’s magical powers again but this would’ve been a hilarious time to reveal that like Yamazaki the Compulsively Lying Classmate had powers

Awwww he likes her now that’s cute 

“I got work that day” I will bet someone ten dollars that Toya is working at that quiz rally

Update from 5 minutes later: PAYPAL ME $10

Kero keeps whispering to the moon when in fact some iteration of the moon is right around the corner (literally)

GOOOOOOOOD SYAORAN REALIZING HE HAS A CRUSH ON BOTH HALVES OF THAT TEAM KILLS ME SWEET BOY

Shared Gaze of People Who Have Dated* Toya and Have Magical Powers They Haven’t Revealed Yet

*Go to jail Mizuki

I am really going crazy wondering when they’re gonna reveal stuff about Yukito like bitchhhhhhh I know you’re a moon man when will u tellll usss

How many more times will Sakura have this same threatening dream before she realizes her math teacher is probably going to try to kill her

Update from one minute later: I guess it was exactly one more time

“That’s right, Yukito’s birthday is on Christmas day” is this coming to be a coming of age where he like suddenly sprouts wings at age 17

I’ve been thinking this for a while but this show makes it seem like Japan has a much more fun approach to athletics than my school experiences

Yukito really is unflappable about hanging out with a bunch of kids half his height huh he’s like the Fourth Grader Whisperer

I KNEW IT YUKITO NEVER GOES WITH SAKURA ANYWHERE UNLESS HER BROTHER WILL ALSO BE WORKING THERE DFHKDFHKJ every time it’s just “Hey Toya :)”

“This kid...” HAHAH TOYA HAS JUST REALIZED THAT SYAORAN HAS A CRUSH ON HIS LITTLE SISTER AND HIS BOYFRIEND THE UTTER SUSPICION IN HIS TONE

“Wind become a binding chain” Whoops Sakura foiled by 4th grade knowledge of the elements

Oh shiiiit love a world-building moment now we have two card combos in play ayyyyy

Lmao @ Kero using his returned powers immediately for fireworks mood lighting is a serious Clow Card priority

“I would like to come again this year” everything in this show feels like foreshadowing for dramatic irony

[skygemspeaks]

So normally I'm an au person for eg but have you consdiered. An Earth Girl/ES EF musical. This would be after ES. Jarra is horiffed. There are songs. About her love (canon for fian, but could be au as well). Playdon has a song about how he didn't expect this to happen- it is a duet with Rono after the rescue. A6T1 has a song together as well. It is suprisingly well reaserched and repectful. Just full of feelings. Jarra just hides on fortuna- everyone learns the songs and sings them too her.

Its gets worse though (for Jarra). Beta takes offense about how romance-centric the musical is and then there is a Tell-side version, (in happy au there would be parents singing a song for their lost daughter but they get to see her, if not that whole story played as a tragedy and serious with hope end). not only does this one go after HE for not letting family go with kids, it is also hopelessly dramatic as well. Psych division loves this since it gives them so much support. Jarra (for all her hiding)

there is also epic poetry in Beta sector. Like the Odyssey but instead about Jarra reuniting with her family. The musicals are hopelessly soppy but the poetry recitations are bad as well. (Her family notices that for all Jarra is embarrassed, she never actually denies her feelings). Also, Candace is not in this bc pro parent confidentiality. Instead there is an oc pro parent. Jarra isn't sure what to think of this. Thankfully there is not an oc p!Dad. that was well known enough he just wasn't in the story

Back to the musical- I just find this too funny. The scene during Jarra’s adoption ceremony when she speaks- That becomes the entire Tell family singing about loss and pain and forgiveness, it ends with a Jaxon and Jarra duet. Drago is so popular that he gets his own song about the first time he saw her in the mess (the flirting thankfully doesn't make it in, that wasn't quite widely known enough). Torrek gets a song about loss and finding out his g daughter is gone. It is the saddest song in show.

oh my god nonny, this au is galaxy brain!!!!

I especially love the idea of getting a version of the story from the Tell clan’s pov. Everything about it is just hilarious and amazing, and the thing about Jarra and Jaxon is making me all teary eyed.

I need to read this fic!!!!!

But also what about Raven’s part in all this??? If we’re sticking to canon, just imagine the audience highkey shipping Raven with Jarra and Fian as a triad and they’re all a little embarrassed about it at first, but looking at it like this from an outside pov they’re forced to confront their feelings about each other and Raven joins their relationship

[galaxylohnce]

VUD paladin headcanons!!!!

BTW this is based off of @voltronuniversaldefender ‘s reboot!!! CHECK THEM OUT THEYRE DOING GOD’S WORK

also i have read approx 2 headcanons and baRELY understand this AU so if there are similarities to anyone else or inconsistencies iT IS AN ACCIDENT AND IM SORRY

anyway this is just about the 4 confirmed paladins BET ill be doing more about Fa’rah/Takashi/Zahi/Ashanti once i know a bit more about their roles in the team!!

Alvaro Garcia Valladares

he has a twin. i don't make the rules, but he has a twin.

he has a big family. the biggest family. we’re talking, his mom has 8 siblings and his dad has 9 and there’s a 10 year age gap between him and his oldest sibling and he loves them all so much

natia is his best friend. i repeat, NATIA IS HIS BEST FRIEND!!!!

he’s also quite close with kiki. Natia and Kiki are the only two that he met before their great space adventure

he wasn't really sure of his sexuality at first. (i say this because i wasn't sure of my sexuality at first - im bi btw - and all the media i saw told me that any lgbt+ character was 100% sure of their sexuality form the day they were born, which made me doubt myself bc i didn't figure it out till recently, so i wanna see that in some media!! sometime!!) he probably figured it out halfway through having a crush on someone

the someone is akio, and he definitely tells Natia about it first

“natia... natia listen.... I have a crush on akio. freakin akio.... what do i do??? I’m bi, natia... I'm bi. what does this mean -”

“alvaro, I'm so proud of you, but this is a public bathroom and akio is right outside -”

GUARANTEE that the first time he saw Akio he just basically wanted to fight him but also flirt with him and had a slight moral crisis and ended up doing nothing

he is a goddamn sharpshooter, okay. he straight up becomes famous for it throughout the galaxy.

yet despite that he’s still insecure, and those insecurities prevent him from really getting together w akio until much later

he comes off as very suave and extroverted when you first meet him, but underneath it all, he’s actually really warm, personable and funny: not that anyone outside the team know that 

aliens on social media, probably: god, the blue paladin is so cool... i bet he’s amazing and awesome and eloquent...

meanwhile, alvaro: do u guys think i could fit my whole hand in my mouth or nah?

enjoys memes, and shares this love with kiki

basically an all around great guy. because he often felt like a seventh wheel at the beginning of the formation of the team, he always tries to include everybody as best as possible, going way out of his way to ask after people, even if they forget to ask about him sometimes :’)

Natia Nanai

first off: what a gorgeous name. seriously. incredible kudos, my dude. anyway on to the head canons for this gorgeous girl

probably alvaro’s soulmate. already mentioned this, but it needs reiteration. they are best friends

had a large family too (not as big as alvaros tho) and probably major relate to him with that big family dealio

v close with kiki. they complete each other on a technological level. 

natia is very, very creative. she and her sweet engineering know how are always instrumental in getting the Team out of tough situations

Akio: theres no way out of this we’re going to die -

Natia: bet?

she does say “bet” a lot. like, almost too much? but she's always right and valid when she says it

the villain: i’ve got you now!!!!

natia, under her breath: bet

the paladins, thinking: thank god, we’re saved

very soft but also badass as hell. she has a unique duality.

pulls a violet baudelaire: she puts that GORGEOUS hair up in a ponytail when doing work or whenever she has an idea

everyone on the team, regardless of sexuality, is low-key in love with her because she’s just so nice. no one can hate her. she's way too solid of a friend

speakinG of being a great friend: natia is 100% the secret keeper up in this bitch. everyone comes to her because they know she’s got the best advice around and will take their secrets to the grave

akio: idk man... alvaro is just rlly cute, u know?? but i can't tell him...

natia, thinking of alvaro literally whining to her about akio not even five minutes ago: christ

the mom friend. she always has all the things everyone needs on hand or in her lion, and she’s got it all going in terms of chore charts and family meals. she is the queen of figuring out times for team bonding and everyone loves her more for it

definitely started a board game night asap

she has a silent bravery about her that no one else can match. despite her trepidation, natia will always do what has to be done for the greater good. 

she is guided by her heart and her morals, and is easily the kindest person on the team

bc of this kindness, she is often the diplomat when conflicts arise between people on the team

she is seen by the general public (aka the galaxy) as a strong, morally righteous woman. kind of like rosie the riveter-esque??? she’s the symbol of justice and fairness. 

aliens: she's so... peacekeeping :0

natia, at kiki: throw me that wrench, or so help me god - 

basically, a queen who always considers everyone and works really hard to create a family, even when they're all so far from home :’)

Kiki Evans

generally over it tbh

“always tired, but always inspired” - kiki, on being asked why there were dark circles under her eyes

kind of standoffish. she’s not really about being nice, she's about getting the job done, and that can rub people the wrong way, since she is always the first to offer up the cold, logical solution

but underneath that, she’s just a computer science nerd who is loyal to a fault

she really is loyal. its almost dangerous sometimes, because she would put the universe in danger to save her friends, which actually comes into conflict with her typical cold, logical approach.

she has 0-1 sibling. she's every bit the single child. she cannot relate to living in a big family setting, and at first its hard for her to deal with before she warms up to everyone else on the team

she's a genius, and thus found school to be tedious. in fact, she got fairly bad grades, as she wouldn't do the work that she saw as pointless and boring

she is a meme connoisseur, and loves to quote vines, often assisted by alvaro

kiki, as they approach a giant black hole: HZZK

alvaro, catching on immediately: is... is that real???

she is a conspiracy theorist, for sure. the government is watching us all, trying to make sure we don't learn too much.... she’s sure of it, and akio is too

tbh, the first proper conversation she had with akio was about cryptids and how the government had hidden them from the public

she was friends w natia and alvaro from before, but it is akio she becomes closest with the fastest. in some ways, she feels more distant from natia/alvaro bc of how close they are with each other and  bc all of them have known each other for so long while akio is someone she got to know recently: he has no preconceptions about who she used to be, and she has none about him

plus, she and akio relate on many levels: both trans, both gay, both autistic, both theorists, and both loyal to a fault. she finds a real blood brother in akio :D

very openly gay. very. she's a space lesbian, and theres no denying it

kiki, meeting some random space girl: oh

kiki, moments later to akio: god I'm gay

akio, downing a glass of water but acting like its vodka or smthg: god, same

the public sees her as the cold and calculating techie, the brains of the operation

natia is her partner in crime. they finish each others sentences. they've got a tech connection going, babey

kiki: if we just cross-reference the zaiforge tunnel with the -

natia, nodding: particle consummator, of course we’ll get the perfect -

them, together: amount of energy!!!

everyone else: sorry wot

basically, she's a tech goddess with a splash of genius. she's uneasy and a bit awkward, but thats just bc she’s never been in a situation like this before. after literally 1 second with her, she opens up and is such a loyal friend. :’)

Akio Himura

wow this boy is gay and he knows it

he loves his parents (zahi, takashi, and ashanti) but god he will never admit it. not ever

alvaro, after listing his parents, 20 aunts and 100 cousins: and i love them all so much, with all my heart. what about ur family akio?

akio, not wanting to show weakness: they're nerds.

alvaro: um okay cool good talk haha :)

akio, internally: but i love them nd would die for them tbh... but i can't show weakness

he's so guarded after his biological parents left/died/disappeared. poor boy

definitely a single child, and definitely adopted

his parents love him SO MUCH. so much.

akio: why do i have three parents, dad?

takashi, almost crying: its simple. u deserve so much love, that it couldn't be contained in just two people. we needed three. its how its gotta be, my beautiful, sweet summer child

a yeehaw kind of guy. he grew up in the midwest riding horses before his biological parents died and theres a piece of him that will always be a southern boy

the kind of kid in school that pretends he’s a delinquent, but actually just has the aesthetic of a delinquent, and is truly soft

akio: hell yeah I'm a rebel. i logged onto disney.com without my parents permission

kiki, choked up: so brave

mothman is his love. his passion. all cryptids, for that matter. kiki is more of an all around conspiracy theorist: akio is in it for the cryptids 

he’s a bit awkward, and doesn’t totally understand all social cues/jokes. because of this, he stays away from memes, and is very guarded when meeting new people, especially after experiences with light bullying for not only his social ineptitude, but his upbringing.

considering that, his first meeting with alvaro was supremely awkward, and akio accidentally fought with him multiple times before they established a solid friendship

akio, having a gay panic: you are the light of my life

alvaro: sorry what??

akio, panicking more: I said, you wanna fiGHT WITH A KNIFE???

he pined after alvaro from basically day one, but had the foresight to actually know that he was pining, unlike alvaro who just floundered

of course he would never say anything

he is a stabby boi. he is unrivaled in swordplay, and enjoys routine. his natural affinity for picking up new skills plus his unrivaled work ethic basically DESTROYED everyone else when it came to swords

he’s loyal af and is always the first one to take action. akio is a “do something. do anything, but do it fast before we lose a chance to do something” kind of guy

the general public sees him as the fiery one: he’s the one with the fanciest footwork in a fight, and he’s very good with battle tactics. he can come thru with that strategy at the perfect times

he's a low-key emo. for sure. he loves MCR, but strangely dislikes other similar artists like p!atd and fob. 

kiki: but...brendon urie, akio....

akio, sipping tea: as a gay, i can appreciate the aesthetic. but no one can compete with MCR

kiki, exasperated: its not a competition -

basically, a slightly guarded boy with a real talent for defending the universe and his friends, but also an emo cowboy mess who is in love with alvaro and loves everyone :’)

WELL THAT ENDED UP LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. I HOPE U ENJOY AAAA

ALSO FOLLOW @voltronuniversaldefender !!!! its amazing, guys, really check it out :D

[narcolepticdaydrem]

Men, and their fight for reproductive rights

The world health organization says that;

“Reproductive rights rest on the recognition of the basic right of all couples and individuals to decide freely and responsibly the number, spacing and timing of their children and to have the information and means to do so, and the right to attain the highest standard of sexual and reproductive health.”

This generally includes the right to legal and safe abortion; the right to birth control; freedom from coerced sterilization; the right to access good-quality reproductive healthcare.

Starting with abortion and the individuals right to decide the number and timing of children; while women are still fighting for complete abortion rights, it’s still there. Women can abort, with or without the fathers consent. I generally agree with this being as it is the women’s body. Women are also lucky to have many resources to help them with abortion procedures and pills.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion/the-abortion-pill/how-do-i-get-the-abortion-pill

https://www.guttmacher.org/state-policy/explore/overview-abortion-laws

https://www.fpa.org.uk/sites/default/files/abortion-your-questions-answered.pdf

The baby can be put up for adoption. While most states want the fathers approval, you can see in the both links below that a common question is how can you put a baby up for adoption without letting the father know. The second link goes into detail. For one example, if the father is not able to give the women a lot of financial support but still wants to keep the baby, his rights can be dismissed. If he is incarcerated and wants to keep the baby, the link goes on to example how because he is in jail he doesn’t REALLY have the right to have a say. Each example they give they let you know they can provide a lawyer to help you not need his consent. A lot of states still don’t even require the mother to let the father know she was/ is pregnant. A lot of states will also let the women put the child up for adoption if she gained custody, even if the father wanted custody, which we will go over in the next point.

https://www.americanadoptions.com/pregnant/adoption-questions

https://www.americanadoptions.com/pregnant/birth_father_isnt_supportive

https://adopt-connect.com/blog-post/adoption-without-fathers-consent/

The mother chooses parenthood. She wants to keep the baby. If they both want to keep it, great. It all works out. But what if they’re weren’t together and both wanted equal custody? While 50/50 custody is still rare, it is slowly rising up. However, many groups feel its unfair to women.

Around 80% of Mother’s will get custody. If a women says she breastfeeding, there isn’t even a debate. It goes to her no matter what. There was once a presumption that custody courts saw as law stating that children should always be with their mother, most states have dismissed this, but they still feel it’s always the child’s best interest to be with the mother as she is “the structure of marriage”. Because of this, there are hundreds of sites dedicated to helping men show the judge they can take care of children despite being a man and how to correctly explain parenthood as the judge will look for when the man is asked if he can be a parent. Do women have present a speech to the judge proving they can be a parent? No.

Men can get custody, though be it rare. However, the chance of getting child support from a woman drop significantly. Women on average will pay $2,000 less, and are also much less likely to pay it to the father with no legal consequences.

When men fall behind, it can be life changing and even deadly. An urban study of the nine largest states found that 70% of men paying child support where forced to pay 83% of there income to child support. I’m Georgia alone, 3,500 men were jailed in 2010 for not having payments caught up. In one city of new jersey 1,800 men where jailed or given ankle monitors for falling behind on payments. If you interested in reading more, I have an article I wrote going into detail on our child support system and how it effects men.

https://medium.com/@Autam/child-support-a-modern-system-abusing-men-926f585bbfc3

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3573927/Agony-50-50-mum-Women-held-upper-hand-custody-battles-fathers-winning-EQUAL-access-mothers-struggling-cope.html

https://www.urban.org/research/publication/assessing-child-support-arrears-nine-large-states-and-nation/view/full_repor

https://www.census.gov/topics/families/child-support.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/20/us/skip-child-support-go-to-jail-lose-job-repeat.html

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/jail-time-unpaid-child-support.html

https://dadsdivorce.com/articles/dads-represent-85-of-child-support-providers-pay-more-than-female-payers/

https://pjmedia.com/drhelen/2013/3/15/women-who-fail-to-pay-all-of-their-child-support-are-incarcerated-only-one-eighth-as-often-as-men-with-similar-violations/

https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/for-men/divorce-for-men-why-women-get-child-custody-over-80-time

Paper abortions (the right for a man to opt out of parenthood) have been brought up and even taken to court, however it was dismissed as “the Fourteenth Amendment does not deny to [the] State the power to treat different classes of persons in different ways." Meaning they believe men shouldn’t be given the same eights as women.

http://www.opn.ca6.uscourts.gov/opinions.pdf/07a0442p-06.pdf

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/roe-v-wade-for-men-suit-filed/

https://casetext.com/case/dubay-v-wells

So, a man, the individual, gets no say in whether he will be a parent. We see women being able to chose abortion, parenthood, adoption, but what options do men get in their reproduction? Whether or not to have sex? Sex is a basic human right, and a child should never be used as punishment for having sex.

Moving on to birth control, what exact option do men have here? Men have condoms, but these are also known as one of the worst forms of BC. For the most part, men have to trust women on whether or not they are using. Even with just condoms pregnancy happens often. BC sabotage is actually more common then one would think, however many legal consultants and organizations believe it’s still the mans fault. He should have been smarter and not trusted the woman. But why is it that if a woman trusts a man, he takes the condom off without consent, it’s rape. Shouldn’t she have just ‘been smarter’? Not only are both BC sabatoges seen differently, but mainstream articles even take women lying about it and laugh. Because it’s so funny to ruin a man life.

https://www.thestar.com/life/2017/10/17/how-birth-control-sabotage-affects-men-ellie.html

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5271573/amp/People-reveal-lied-using-contraceptives.html

https://www.bet.com/style/living/2018/01/17/women-on-why-they-lied-about-being-on-the-pill.html

https://www.verywellhealth.com/six-reasons-for-condom-failure-2328835

https://www.birthcontrol.com/options/condom/how-effective-are-condoms/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.livescience.com/18661-14-common-condom-errors.html

But what about that new BC being made for men? Well, it got pulled. The side effects were too bad. Many women believe this as men being ‘too weak’. What most fail to see as no one actually looked at the study summery and conclusion, was the rates of side effects and severity were significantly higher than female contraception.

Of the 320 men who participated in the research reported 1,491 adverse effects. 20 percent had developed mood disorder that will always stay with them, 38 percent experienced an increased sexual drive. Testicular pains, night sweats, intense confusion, all common. Less common but we can’t forget it happened; suicide. The study even says; This decision [to terminate the trial] was based on [the Research Project Review Panel’s] review of study [adverse events] and conclusion that the risks to the study participants outweighed the potential benefits to the study participants and to the increased precision of the study outcome findings from having the full cohort contribute to the final analysis.”

Even with all this 70% of them wanted to continue the study. Why? Fear of BC sabotage and how this would help them. So no, men are not weak.

As women we’re lucky to have options. We can choose from hundreds of BC. We have amazing resources to help us find the right one. We could also go into men needed their partners permission as well for sterilization. Or the huge gender gap in healthcare, but I feel this already shows enough points for right now

https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/101/12/4779/2765061

http://www.conrad.org/news-pressreleases-121.html

https://drjengunter.wordpress.com/2016/11/01/new-study-doesnt-show-men-are-wimps-about-contraception-side-effects-low-vasectomy-rate-might/

https://www.vox.com/2016/11/2/13494126/male-birth-control-study

[futurewriter2000]

Go with me (Sirius Black x reader)

A/N:OH MY GOD! So I wrote like more than a half of this imagine and then my computer froze and bc I didn’t save it it deleted the whole draft. Great. But I guess, I’ll start over. This was requested by an anonymous and she/he made me very happy (she/he said I am an amazing person) and it just made my whole day. Also I didn’t know that the book would be so relatable, it was just the book I picked up from my shelf. Aaand enjoy. 

Warning:I translated the book so just so you know how to pronounce the letters (š is sh and č is ch - Dushan Chater) also gif not mine

xx

You were sitting in the library....and that’s it. You were just sitting there, doing absolutely nothing.’Maybe I shoud read?’ you thought and opened the book, which you were staring at for what felt like hours. You opened the first page and started reading.

‘Everything lost sense. Everything was lame. Even the birds, who were singing from the trees, which reached the 4th floor opposite of the standing block of flats, and how they stole his attention at least once or twice... Even they were lame. But that day he didn’t care about the birds. He didn’t care about the ice cream truck and the workers in white, who were dirving it. They were just lame. Even the always-funny Zelvak, who everybody called the bosnian immigrant, who lived on the first floor and who was always fixing his old Volkswagen, even he was lame. That day Zelvak was changing his car’s tires and instead of winter tires, he was putting on summer tires. “Lame.” thought Manc.’

You read the first excerpt.” Much like this book.” you sighed out, thinking how lame of you was to sit in the library, doing absolutely nothing and forcing yourself to read a book you haven’t read since you were 13 years old.”Ugh!” you groaned and tilted your head backwards, so that you were facing the ceiling.”Can a person be this bored?” you questioned yourself.

You closed your eyes and opened them again to see grey eyes smiling, not looking or staring, but smiling at you.”Well that all depends on you, love.” he smirked and sat next to you.

“Oh yeah. And how’s that?” you grinned leaning a bit closer.

“On you being around me, because there is no way in hell you would be bored around me?’’ he leaned even closer, his smile melting every part of your body. 

“ I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“Well how about you go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend and find out?” 

You chuckled and leaned back, throwing your feet on the table, blocking his perfect face. Of course you would want to go out with him. He is fucking Sirius Black. But you didn’t want him to think of you as an easy girl, so you decided to play a bit hard to get. “ And what makes you think I will say yes?” you opened the book again and pretend to read it.

He didn’t reply. Instead, he took your feet off the table and put it on his lap. He hugged your feet and leaned his head on his arms. There was silence and even though you were pretending to read the book you could see him staring at you. 

“What are you doing?” you asked him, not removing your eyes from the book.

“I am going to stare at you untill you say yes, because I won’t take a no for an answer. And I think it’s gonna be pretty soon since I know you are not actually reading.” 

“Yes I am.” you lied. 

He sat up sending you a mischivious smile. “Oh really?” He pulled his chair closer and looked at the cover of the book, lifting it up and brushing his warm hands against yours. You felt the heat rise up and you tried not to lose your cool as he looked up to you and grinned.”Go with me by Dušan Čater?" 

“Yes.” you conifrmed.

“What is it about then?" he asked leaning back on his chair, crossing his arms and not removing his eye contact with you.

Good thing you already read this book or you would die right now. “Its about a boy, who gets suspended and is afraid to tell his parents. He is some sort of part of domestic violance and he then goes on a trip with his best friend and two other members of the photo club. They get lost and it turns out, he only got suspended because he was trying to protect his little brother." you tried to explain the quicker version of it.

You looked up to see him staring into the book. His eyes were different. It was like all of a sudden they changed its color."Lighten up, won’t you." you teased, not knowing how relatable did he feel to the boy."Its just a book. Its not like this big tragedy. It talks about the meaning of friendship.” you handed him the book and put your finger on the first boy on the cover. “ Here. This is Manc, the main character in the book. He has an older brother and a younger brother, who are also named Manc. And guess what his dad’s name is. Manc.” you looked at Sirius, who sent you a smile. You moved your finger to the next boy, who was holding a camera. “Oto, his best friend. Lives right next door and loves photography. He is also always there for Manc. “ you looked at Sirius again whose smile grew a bit bigger after the last sentence you said. You than moved to the girl “ This is the smart and the pretty Mina. Very spoiled to be honest.” then you moved to the last chubbier boy. “ And this is the lazy and hungry boy named Špurč. He is kind of my favorite, reminds me of myself when I am hungry.” he chukled and you removed your hands from the book so that only he was holding it.” It really is an amazing book. Friendship. A bond built on trust and only broken by betrayal.” you talked and stopped as you realized you were babbling all this deep shit to a guy you barely knew.

"Wow." he said amazed by the sparkle in your eyes.

You felt your cheeks blush and you looked away for a moment, so he wouldn’t notice.”Yeah. Sorry about my obssession with books. It’s hard to stop, once you start." you smiled at him.

"No, no. You’re adorable when you talk about something you love. You get a real sparkle in your eye.” he said, leaning closer to you with his elbows on his knees.

You mimicked his position and leant closer." Sirius Black, the never ending flirt.And here I thought I was having a real conversation with you."

"You can’t stop the unstoppable, love." he grinned and leaned back on his chair, his hands behind his head and his elbows pointing out. He put his feet on the table and looked at the ceiling.”So are you going then?”he asked all of a sudden.

“Go where?” you asked confused.

He shot you a glance and then looked back at the ceiling. “To Hogsmeade?”

You were quiet still thinking if you should play hard to get or just give in. “We could go to the Shrieking Shack, Honeydukes...” he continued

Dammit, why were you so stubborn about this. He glanced at you again and looked back at the ceiling."Okay, whatever. I mean you are a buzzkill after all." he manipulated. 

"I am not a buzzkill!!" you denied his statement.

"It’s okay (y/n). You don’t have to be ashamed of it. Everybody knows at least one buzzkill in his life." he continued to tease.

You know he was playing you. You knew, but even if you did you were angry at hearing it. Someone saying you are not fun."I’ll show you buzzkill. Count me in because I will give you the time of your life." you blurted out without even thinking twice.

He grinned at you again and you just knew what would come out of his dirty mouth. “Oh I would love to-”

You quickly put your hand over his mouth."No." you sighed out. He mumbled something.”Shh. Don’t speak. I don’t need to hear it. I should have thought twice before saying those words."  you said disappointed in yourself.

He smiled under your hand and gently moved it away. He placed it on your knee, with his hands still on top of yours. Damn his touch, it makes you weak in the knees."What I was about to say is, I would love to borrow your book." he sneaked his way out.

He smirked at your reaction. You were shocked at first, angry  at how he loves to play with you and yet you were impressed of how he managed to pull himself out of it. And there were a lot more emotions, filling your body, that in the end you couldn’t help but to smile. 

“Okay so..Let’s try this again.” he said getting on one knee and taking your hands into his. “(Y/N)(Y/L/N), would you do me the honours-” he then stopped and took the book. He pointed to the title of it “And Go with me to Hogsmeade and like you said, show me the time of my life?” he winked at you.

“While Sirius Black, how can I say no to such a gentleman .” you chuckled and stood up. You took your bag and placed a kiss on his cheek. “See you then.” you said and took off. 

He put his hand on the spot, where you kissed him and looked on the desk. He saw the book you left him and just before you exited the library. “Pick you up at 6!” he yelled waving his book in the air. 

You quickly turned his head and yelled. “Make it 7!” 

“Mr. Black! “ yelled Madam Pince, angrly walking towards Sirius. 

Sirius’ eyes widened as he totally forgot he was in library. He quickly grabbed his bag and ran towards the exit. “Sorry Irma, I have to get ready for my date. No time for lectures!”