#its shakespearian shit okay

[larvae-pietatis]

arcane is so cool because the tragedy of it all technically could've been avoided. but you also know it couldn't have been because everyone is just trying to do the right thing and they would've made the same decisions each time. the only thing that coulve saved them would be an accident. there is no point rethinking what you couldve changed in the past, because you couldnt change it! you wouldve made the same decisions every time. unless somebody moved 5 cm to the right

[sophsicle]

Soph, I'm crying this is the most sports content that's been on my dash since AFTG was at its height of popularity 😂 I can't believe your fanfic is gonna get me into hockey.

Listen, Hockey is top-tier drama okay?

it is theatre

Shakespearian

The action, the emotion, the danger, the homoerotic undertones - it's all there I also just love the idea of the marauders fandom invading the hockey world

not least of all because hockey has shit edits

we could do so much better

[ashanimus]

Ash Liveblogs MTMTE #4-#7

This is just really nice sci fi writing. I'm coming into this very cold and for all me yelling and screeching about What X or Y is the text and visual and dialogue does a really good job of communicating those things without going into he exhaustive detail I hassle out of my friends

FPFFFffFFF

Well Thats a horrifying question. Why are your hands so irreplaceable, Ratchet?? Rod just got new hands! I'm enjoying these little cultural tidbits about bodies. What can and cannot be replaced, what's considered worse than a mortal wound vs the way that exile and punishment is externalized--like Empurata. Huh.

OH OKAY THIS ONE IS ALL ABOUT BODIES I GUESS

AAAAAAAAAAAA

Huh. I'm just. Really impressed with how these artists get these characters to emote, the very very creative and interesting and compositional solutions to communicating emotions and feeling on these challenging character models

AESFHLDSAFSKJGD

ANCIENT JACKASS

TAILGATE IS EXTREMELY RIGHT TO BE MAD AT YOU.

I am living for this cool ridiculous alien mechanical biology.

Yikes. That's...that may not solve the problem of belonging for you, Tailgate. These are banners of a war thats ended...and that he's being enabled here is quite sad!

This is also fucking devastating. I was, for some reason, NOT expecting grotesque body horror in the robot comic! SILLY FUCKING BAT.

I havent enjoyed a traditional comic in a while and I really love how the medium is used to its fullest to move reveals like this along, this is delightful

Okay @fernacular I see the appeal of old man boyfriend now, this is fucking great

OH OKAY. YOU WANNA GIVE ME COOL COMIC, BODY HORROR, BITTER EXES, HEARTBREAK AND BODY PART SWAPPING AND MAKE ME FUCKING CRY OKAY

@polyhexian @fernacular FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU SCREEEECH IM CRYING IM NOT CRYING aDLFJDAJGk]'

#6

Ah yes. Whirl. Whirl is my favorite so far. And also um. Sir??? Are you actively suicidal right now??? SIR???

All of these robots, ALL OF THEM, have the personalities and socialization of brutalized wolfdogs all stuck in the back of a Volkswagon but DEAR GOD Whirl??? Everyone smacks the shit out of each other! And you out here talking like this!

HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE

aEFJADSLJGLJG

WHIRL ISNT WRONG BUT HOLY FUCK

WHIRL. HONEY. YOUR GUTS ARE ALL OVER THE FLOOR. THEY'RE ALL OVER THE

Okay even the hostage taker is confused enough to demand explanation and Rung you are so useless and also bad at improv

Whirl is a theatre kid.

I'm laughing so hard I can't fucking breathe

And now I'm crying again. I'm just. Drowning in snot over here. Okay. Okay. I am genuinely blown away how this, out of context, would be damn near illegible, but with a little context is horrifying, touching and heartbreaking. He's speared through, Rung is over here genuinely a little touched, jesus christ on a pogo stick.

Okay, not that this is ever relevant to anything and there is more transformers stuff to watch than I could finish in a month of vacation, if I was in charge of anything I'd probably pull Whirl audition sides from this scene--or at least some of them--because even just meeting the character through my friends and these early issues, one of the most compelling things about him is that really interesting tension between his sincerity, humor, gurgly dying delivery and cold intensity. It's really interesting. The artists here use a lot of composition and context and light to make whirl emote and it's such a cool artistic challenge they solve over and over again.

Although in that vein if I was doing any casting of voice stuff for a MTMTE anything I think it'd be essential to cast a bunch of weird character actors, shakespearians and people who had video game experience.

#7

Tarn is a funny name for a robot? Thats a lake?

So pretty...so horrible. What a moody, cold, image.

Huh. Brainstorm has an interesting vernacular

This comic is so insane. Like very little about this seems to pretend to be anything like the stuff that spawned it. It's a transforming toy! And now, fast forward, were talking about the Horrors in an depressing, fully grounded way from the voiceboxes of colorful robits languishing in the post-horizon of a war that destroyed their whole worlds.

Im obsessed with these colors. And the image of all these damn robits around a PYRE. It's so weirdly, awkwardly human and this all just looks so vulnerable and lost. All their weird boxy shape against the organic swirls of fire.

Who TF Is Grimlock--

[saventhhaven]

Musically Inclined

Pairing; Sam Winchester x reader

Tags: implied smut, flustered!reader, flustered!Sam, Supernatural the Musical, confused!Dean

Word Count: 1,720

A/N: Based on S10, E5

(Gif not mine)

The two Winchesters got out of the front seats of the car in unrehearsed and unplanned unison, causing you to roll your eyes. It's like they were trying to be the unrealistic FBI agents from hoaky television shows. By the time you made it out of the car, they were already making their way up to the school. Damn them and their long legs.

"Hey!" you called after them irritably. "Are you guys gonna wait for me, or what?"

"Nah," Dean responded. Had you not been trying to keep up the professional façade, you may or may not have punched him in the arm.

"So," Sam started his signature run-down, "the last place Mrs. Chandler was seen by anyone was in the auditorium. Turns out, she's the drama teacher." Dean let out an exasperated sigh as you walked, his face more than enough for you to be able to tell that he already didn't like where this case was going.

"Theater kids. Great," he mumbled sarcastically.

"I was a theater kid," Sam said defensively. A wide grin broke out across your face, and you looked up at the tall Winchester with glee.

"No shit? I've got to hear this." Sam's lips turned almost nonexistent as he pressed them into a tight line. "No, wait, don't tell me. I can see it now: Sam Winchester himself on a stage under a spotlight, reciting Shakespearian verses in iambic pentameter."

"That ain't too far off from what he does now," Dean said under his breath as he leaned toward you conspiratorially. You snorted loudly, and Sam came to an immediate stop. Had you not been paying attention, you probably would've rammed right into him.

"You done?" he asked. Dean clapped his brother on the shoulder.

"Oh, come on, Sam, give us a line!" He only shook his head in response as the two of you continued to poke fun at him.

"Shut up."

"That's a shame," you piped up. "He would've made a great Hamlet." As the younger Winchester turned away, you thought you caught him fighting a smile. When the three of you entered the auditorium, Dean shook his head with slight disgust.

"Okay, seriously, what could possibly-"

"Idjits!" The three of you turned in surprise. It had been a long time since you had heard that. The only person who ever called the boys that was... Bobby? A teenage girl turned around, dressed in a khaki fisherman's vest, a plaid button-up t-shirt, and a worn baseball hat. She even had on a fake beard to match Bobby's appearance. "You are idjits!" she continued. You turned to the boys with a question on your lips, but before you could say anything-

"Hey, assbutt!" Another girl further away held a fake molotov cocktail with sparkly angel wings, a trenchcoat, and an unmistakable blue tie.

"Do-" You were cut off once again as an urgent piano chorus began to play throughout the auditorium, effectively causing you and the boys to jolt in surprise.

"John and Mary, husband and wife. Bringing home a brand-new life.” Your attention was diverted to the stage, where what you were assuming what was supposed to be Sam and Dean's parents carried in a fake baby, placing it in a crib.

"No way," you breathed as you latched onto Sam's arm for support. You were in total shock as the musical number continued to go on. "Th-that's you!" you stammered, fighting the urge to point. Sam nodded tightly.

"I know," he replied.

"On the road so far. They met a woman on the way-” The teenage actress version of you came onto the stage with an impressive-looking fake shotgun. The weapon recoiled in her hands, and the fake werewolf collapsed to the ground. 

“And that’s me!” You remembered meeting the boys like it was yesterday, but seeing it acted out in front of you with such accuracy was surreal.

“When the boys were toast, she saved the day. Birds of a feather, now they hunt together. Teaming up to save the world.”

"Cut!" Suddenly, the music came to a stop, and a girl with a beret leaped to her feet in the front row.

"What in the h-holy..." Dean breathed.

"There is a case," Sam put in. "Probably has something to do with all this." How he was able to keep such a level head right now, you had no clue. You could barely think straight.

"You think?" Dean sassed. The girl with the beret came rushing up to the three of you with another girl at her side, and all traces of your conversation died.

"Are you guys from the publisher?" she asked excitedly. She didn't even wait to take a breath before continuing. "I'm Marie, the writer/director, this is Maeve, my stage manager, and..." Marie trailed off as you fished through your blazer pocket for your FBI badge. Before you could get it out, though, Sam placed an urgent hand on your arm, causing you to look up at the stage. No way. The three girls playing Sam, Dean, and you were all holding up fake badges to their counterparts.

"I'm Special Agent Smith," Sam introduced somewhat breathlessly. "These are my partners, Special Agent-"

"Jones," you filled in.

"Smith," Dean said. Two Smiths? You would have to remember to thank Dean for overcomplicating things later.

"No relation," Sam was quick to explain. "We're here to look into the appearance-"

"There's no singing in Supernatural!" Dean exclaimed. Biting back a sigh, you and Sam both shot Dean a look. So much for subtlety.

"Well, this is Marie's interpretation," Maeve said with a frown. Dean let out a sound that was a mixture of a strangled laugh and a groan.

"They're entitled to their creative vision," you justified before he could say anything else. "Just because you don't like that they made Supernatural into a musical doesn't mean that you have to-"

"Dean cannot find out about this." The words instantly clicked in your brain, and you totally lost track of what you had been saying. On the stage behind Marie and Maeve, the two actresses playing Sam and yourself were running lines. "He would never let us live it down." Sam's actress took your actress's hand, and you felt a blush rise to your cheeks.

"If Dean finds out, he can deal with it. We're all adults here. Besides, it's not like he's never slept with someone before." The teenage actress version of you shook her head.

"Yeah, Sam, but it's different this time! We're not just talking about sex between two random people. This is you and me that we're talking about here."

"Oh, God," was all you were able to say. That had happened a few years ago when you were still blissfully unaware that Chuck was writing and selling books about your life with the Winchesters. That moment, in particular, was supposed to be private. Sam caught your eye with an expression of horror that was incredibly similar to your own. Holy shit. Dean spluttered for a moment before he was finally able to get comprehensible words out. He looked at you with disbelief.

"You-" Thankfully, you were able to give him a discreet shake of your head before he totally blew your cover. "Y/N and Sam," he corrected himself, "are... together?"

"They're not together," you and Sam chimed in at the same time. The skin between Marie's eyebrows crinkled as she stared at you.

"What are you talking about?" she asked incredulously. "Y/N and Sam have been hooking up since book two. That's canon."

"Oh my God," you repeated miserably. You barely heard a word the boys said as they did the standard case questioning with Marie and Maeve. Meanwhile, you were more focused on how many of your intimate moments with Sam were going to be on stage.

"So, how 'bout you give the two of us a behind-the-scenes tour-" You tuned in just as Sam was gesturing between him and yourself. "-while your director shows my partner Mrs. Chandler's office. Deal?" The two girls nodded wordlessly. "Great. Give us a moment, please."

"Okay," Marie agreed. As the two of them made their way back down to the stage, you continued to stand there in stunned silence.

"I'm gonna throw up," Dean said. You nodded numbly.

"Seconded."

"Yeah, by the way, were you two ever gonna tell me about that?" he asked.

"No."

"Absolutely not." Both your and Sam's words came out in a jumble, and you glanced at the tall man sheepishly.

"Well, you heard the girl!" Dean said, throwing his hands up in the air. "It's 'canon!' So, is it still going on, or what?" You made a face at his question.

"Dean!" Sam scolded. Your entire lives were on display in musical form for the rest of the world to see, and he wanted to know if you were still sleeping with his brother?

"That can't seriously be what you're most concerned about right now," you huffed as you crossed your arms over your chest. Dean's eyes only got wider as he ignored your comment.

"Well?" he pressed on. "Is it?" You and the younger Winchester exchanged another wary glance. He clearly wasn't going to let it go until he got his answer.

"No!" you exclaimed. Dean arched an eyebrow disbelievingly. "I'm serious, Dean. Sam and I haven't hooked up in a long time." The oldest Winchester looked to his brother for verification.

"It's true," Sam confirmed. Dean shook his head somewhat manically.

"I can't believe this. Friggin' musicals," he started to mutter as he shuffled away. "Andrew Floyd Webber crap."

"Andrew Lloyd," Sam corrected. Dean turned around, making a face.

"What?" When you shook your head at him, he rolled his eyes and headed for the stage. When he was finally out of earshot, you let out a breath of relief.

"I think we're in the clear," you whispered. Sam watched his brother, who seemed to be coaching "Cas" on how to throw his molotov cocktail. What a dweeb. The younger Winchester's hand found its way to the small of your back.

"You really think he bought that?" he leaned down to murmur in your ear. You shrugged.

"I don't know," you admitted. "But maybe we should knock it off for a while just to be safe." Sam nodded.

"Agreed."

Thank you so much for reading!

As always, links to my masterlist, taglist, and inbox (requests are open!) are in my bio!

My Everythings:

@cole-winchester​ @alexwinchester23​ @1-am-made-of-stardust​ @thorukindig​ @fiftyshadesoffandom6783​ @hobby27​ @supernaturalenchanted​ @organicpurplepants​ @odysseyofasiren​ @defenderrosetyler​ @crystal-lilac​ @youshrimpdickfucknugget​

Sam Darlings:

@calaofnoldor​

[tfw-no-tennis]

[drumming] BEAST WARRRS

wow, me and ruth watching MORE transformers stuff?? its more likely than you think

sooo yeah we started watching beast wars. which seems like the logical next step after reading the comics and watching tfa, tfp, (some of) g1, cyberverse, even the live action movies back in the day...

however ruth and I have always ruthlessly bullied beast wars bc of how outdated the cgi looks, stating that no matter how good everyone says it is, we can never watch it bc its so ugly 

we watched a couple clips, even, including the fight scene from ep2 which is SO funny I'm sorry and we were like ‘yea we cant watch this lol’ BUT LO AND BEHOLD...HERE WE ARE....

so yah this was probably inevitable but yea, ill probably write a few of these post just giving my scattered thoughts

so! so far we’ve watched like 8 eps and I gotta say....I like it a lot so far

as ruth says, ‘it feels like an actual show’ (as opposed to g1 which imo feels more like an extended-toy-commercial-slash-acid-trip)

like, even in the first couple eps, its clear there's actual plot and characters

the bad cgi is admittedly distracting at time, similar to the animation errors in g1 

in terms of the plot, I find it to be really interesting - I like the explanations for the beast forms w/the energon making their robot forms short out

the premise is like, so wild to me, in a meta sense - like, this was basically the followup to g1 (ignoring g2, and all the japanese stuff like headmasters and victory), and its SO wildly different than g1 - premise-wise, beast wars feels like something you'd get 20 years down the line in the franchise when they're trying to go at the source material from a new, fresh angle

instead its the follow-up to g1, bc I guess being able to sell toys that transform into animals rather than cars is a good market 

oh man is this show 90s. like, it came out in ‘96, so obviously its gonna be 90s, but sometimes it just slaps you in the face w/it 

like...the music. lmao like the guitar riffs that play sometimes are so hilariously 90s that I feel myself regressing into an infant (the state I was in irl during the 90s)

plus the dialogue...like half of what cheetor says is just. so very 90s. like Cool Epic Teenz 90s sometimes, which is hilarious and out of date now 

speaking of cheetor I love my boy. I already love him from cyberverse but this is og cheetor and I love him here too. he;s just a great kid appeal yellow character and I luv him. he has freckles that's soooo cuteee my boiiii

as for the characters in general...I like how they all have pretty solid characterizations but also undergo character development. and I like how we don't get all too much exposition about them/their backstories so we get to learn things as we go along 

optimus primal is cool, and interesting when compared to other optimuses (optimii?)...he seems like a Leader™, but he’s kinda frustrated/done with this shit, especially compared to like, g1 op, who was very patient, and tfa op, who felt very young. this op feels very experienced but also doesn't always wanna be here

who else is there...rhinox! he is great, he seems like the only one w/a brain cell. he seems v levelheaded and cool, I like him a lot. he hasn't gotten much spotlight but I'm interested to see what he’ll do. I like his voice

rattrap omg...ruth hates him bc he’s annoying which, fair, but I like him bc he’s hilarious. he’s a rat from new jersey, and joisey rats are just Like That okay

dinobot...omg...I love him. he’s just dramatic and gay. and also a dinosaur. I think its cool that he has a SWORD bc everyone else has guns (kinda boring), and also he has laser eyes. he is cool and interesting and also he and optimus are dating tyvm 

as for the predacons...beast wars megatron oh my goddd....I love him so much he’s SO entertaining lmao...yesssssss....he’s so Shakespearian? idek how else to describe it. he’s very eloquent and he really feels like a high-class play actor who could also rip your face off if he wanted to. he says ‘yessssss’ SO much its so funny. he’s very like, over the top and kinda hammy, but in a completely different way than g1 megs, who could be described similarly but is a very different vibe 

bw megatron is basically the polar opposite of tfp megatron

as for the rest of the predacons, we haven't gotten as much character stuff for them but I'm interested in them for sure

tarantulas.....I wanna see more of him, he’s just so entertaining to me idk. gay little spider man

scorponok omfg he’s such a loser in this hvbajkdsfbwkhdsf I cant get over how completely lame and unthreatening he is lmaoooo he’s such a lil bitch. I could cough on him and he’d explode probably. hilarious

terrorsaur is like the starscream of this show from what I can tell so far since he’s already tried to take over the predacons twice. ruth and I hate the weird bird dinosaur noises he makes. actually we hate when any of the characters make animal noises honestly hbvkjdnsfaksl

waspinator sure is here. he hasn't done much but he’s definitely present! and makes some weird terrible bug noises

blackarachnia just got here and then immediately left, which is hilarious. she saw everyone fighting and was like ‘actually fuck this’ and bounced, which is super valid 

ok I gotta talk abt the animation again vhbahkjsdfhbkjsf its...really painful...I mean it looks great for being 1996, but since its cgi it does NOT hold up at all (compared to 2d animation, which tends to hold up better - tho low-budget stuff like g1 doesn't hold up great, but it looks bad in a much different way than bad old cgi does)

like, I mentioned it above but that fight scene in ep2...there are just so many moments that weren't supposed to be funny but were hilarious due to the animation. like when the two sides run at each other and clash, when they hit each other half of them just fly offscreen like plastic toys vbahsudfbajskdf its SO visually hilarious I rewound it to watch it again lmao 

also anytime they do closeups I cringe so hard, especially on optimus, he just looks so plastic...in general the beast modes looks pretty janky, like cheetors limbs (mostly around the shoulders/hips) look weird af...I feel like rattraps beast mode looks the least wack. beast mode tarantulas also looks weird as hell but I think that's partially bc his colors are so garish lmao

I'm soooo excited to see the stuff that connects beast wars to g1, I know a few things about how its connected thanks to my reading of the g1 tfwiki pages, and I cant wait to see it all unfold

I'm really not spoiled for much, surprisingly...I might know a couple character deaths, and a few other things, but for the most part I have no clue what's going to happen which is really cool actually. I'm excited to see things!!!

[pocket-luv101]

An Unexpected Match || Part 1

Summary: Licht is an aspiring pianist but his cousin worries that he’s working himself too hard. In hopes of making him take more breaks, Kranz asks Hyde to help him. (LawLicht, Modern AU)

(Part 1) // Part 2 // Part 3

“If Kranz tries to set me up with another guy, I’m going to murder the date. Kranz keeps nagging me about having a work-life balance but he should know that I can’t take breaks often— especially since he’s my manager.” Licht complained to his friend Mahiru over the phone. He walked through a bookstore and skimmed the titles. “I want to find a love like the one my parents have. A match made in heaven.”

“Sometimes, the best matches are the ones you least expect. I never thought I would be with a man like Kuro but look at us now. We’re engaged! Maybe you should give the date a chance even if you don’t think they’re your type at first.” Mahiru suggested. Licht could hear the overwhelming happiness in his friend’s voice. “Kranz just wants you to be happy. He’s your cousin before your manager.”

“I know. He says he wants me to take more breaks from practise and find love. Playing matchmaker for me is like hitting two birds with one stone. He should let things happen on its own though.” He sighed softly and walked into the gothic novel section of the bookstore. “Have you read the novel I told you to? I want to talk to someone about the ending without needing to explain the rest of the plot.”

“I reached the third chapter but I haven’t been able to read much. My deadline is in a week so I barely have enough time to eat, let alone read. I need a new job. Kuro forced me to take a little catnap with him. He says it’s so I don’t overwork myself but I know the truth. I let him get away with it though.” While he couldn’t see him, Licht was certain that Mahiru was grinning like a lovesick teenager. “I’ll try to finish the book by the weekend so we can talk.”

“There’s no rush. I’m at the bookstore to find a new novel right now.” When he first started travelling on tours, his parents gave him a book to read during the long plane rides. He fell in love with gothic novels and would find a new book before each concert. “I’ll talk to you later. Bye, Mahiru.”

As he tucked his phone into his pocket, Licht noticed someone approach him. He assumed that the man wanted to browse through the books as well. The stranger stopped next to him and asked: “Pardon me, do you work here? I would like a few suggestions on what to read in the gothic section. I want to get into the genre but I don’t know where to start.”

“Shouldn’t you have decided that before you drove to a bookstore? You must have a lot of free time if you can drive here on a whim. I don’t work here so I can’t help.” Licht told him. He was on his phone earlier and he didn’t have a uniform so the man should’ve known that he wasn’t an employee.

“Sorry. I guess I should start with the classics. Frankenstein was a cool horror movie so the novel might be fun.” He pulled the book from the shelf. Licht was slightly surprised that the man didn’t leave immediately. Most people were intimidated by his glare and they would flee without speaking to him. Instead, he introduced himself. “My name’s Hyde. I don’t have a lot of people to talk to about books. I’m really into Shakespeare but I thought I would give gothic novels a chance.”

“My parents took me to a Shakespeare play once but I didn’t enjoy it. He writes in circles. Frankenstein is a classic but you might like Wuthering Heights better. It has similar themes to Shakespearian tragedies like revenge and love.” Licht was rarely able to talk to many people about his interest in books with other musicians or his friends. He took the short opportunity to do so with Hyde.

“You’re more than just a pretty face, Angel Cakes.” Hyde winked at him. While Licht rolled his eyes at his flirting, a small blush tainted his cheeks. He went on to ask: “Is there a book here that you haven’t read yet? Maybe we can both read it and then hold a little book club to discuss it. The bookstore has a little café where we can sit and talk.”

“Don’t call me ‘Angel Cakes’, Shit Rat. I have a name and it’s Licht.” He corrected him bluntly. “I don’t have time for dating.”

“That’s okay. I was being honest when I said there’s not many people who I can discuss literature with. You seem smart and you have a lot of opinions. I only want to talk and have coffee.” Hyde said. Licht stared into his red eyes and wondered if he looked too deeply into his words earlier. “You can invite anyone you want to our book club if that will be better for you. The more the merrier.”

Licht took down two copies of a thick collection of short stories and held one out to Hyde. “Are you free Saturday? We can meet at eight but I can’t stay for long. I have piano practise strictly at ten.”

“You play the piano? I knew you were an angel the moment I saw you but this confirms it. I’ll see you Friday.” He said. They walked to the cash register together and talked more about books. Licht had to admit that Hyde was attractive and he enjoyed trading quips with him. He found himself looking forward to their first book club meeting and hearing his opinion.

“See you later, Angel Cakes.” Hyde opened the door for Licht after they finished paying for their books. He nodded towards the café corner of the bookstore and said: “I’m going to get coffee and start this book right away. I can’t wait to talk to you about it on Saturday.”

He nodded back to him and went to his car. Licht paused for a moment outside and glanced back to Hyde. He wasn’t in the doorway anymore and he reasoned that he went to the café. He went into his care and took out the anthology he bought. His career was only beginning but it didn’t give him any free time to date. He accepted the coffee invite thinking it wouldn’t lead to anything.

As Hyde waited for his coffee, he watched Licht drive away. He looked away when his name was called and he took the cup from the worker. He found an empty table and sat down. Hyde took out the thick book he purchased and flipped through the stories. An illustration of an angel caught his interest and he decided to read the story first.

A man sat in the chair across from him but Hyde didn’t question his sudden appearance. He asked: “So, what do you think of Licht?”

“He’s interesting.” Hyde closed the book and sat straighter in his chair. “Kranz, I met him like you asked but I haven’t decided to go along with this plan of yours yet. It doesn’t feel right to lie to him, even when I barely know him. Shouldn’t you just talk to him instead of creating this crazy plan? This has to be the strangest acting job I’ve been offered.”

With a heavy sigh, Kranz told him: “I’ve already tried talking with him. He works hard but he doesn’t take care of himself properly. I want him to take breaks more often. Licht isn’t easy to work with because he’s so stubborn. None of his other managers lasted more than a few weeks. I’ve only been able to manage him this long because I’m his cousin.”

Kranz also worked with a few actors Hyde knew and they told him he was a good manager. When he reached out to Kranz for work, he didn’t expect him to ask him to befriend Licht. “I’ll pay you four hundred dollars each time you take Licht out and help him take a break from practise. I can refer you to a few directors I know too. Think of this as method acting.”

The number made Hyde pause. He worked part time jobs but he was struggling for money. It was difficult to work and find auditions at the same time. Hyde said, “I have a book club meeting with him Saturday morning here at the café. Meet me afterwards with the cheque.”

Hyde sat in the booth and waited for Licht to come. To pass the time, he skimmed through the book idly even though he could recite each story by heart. He was able to memorize the stories easily since he was an actor. He prepared answers for any question Licht could ask. A part of Hyde still felt guilty for the deception and he sighed into his coffee.

His phone buzzed and Hyde swiped his finger over the screen. A message from Licht told him he arrived at the bookstore. They had exchanged phone numbers and shared short conversations throughout the week. The cartoon emoticons he sent made him laugh lightly. He replied to his text and leaned back in the chair.

I’m in a booth next to the window. I already bought coffee and muffins for us so you don’t need to wait in line. Hyde texted him back. He glanced out the window and he saw Licht in the distance. He waved to him and he smiled back to him. For someone who enjoyed dark stories so much, his smile was soft and gentle. He came into the café and sat across from Hyde.

“Thanks for waiting.” Licht said and placed his book on the table.

“I didn’t know how you like your coffee so I got you black with a bunch of sugar and cream on the side. I thought you were bringing a friend so I brought three cups. At least there’s three muffins you can choose from now. I bought them a few minutes ago so they’re fresh. Do you want the chocolate chip or… That’s a lot of cream for your coffee, Angel Cakes.”

“I don’t like bitter things.” He told him simply and Hyde couldn’t help but grin. The angel was full of interesting contradictions. He liked gothic novels but had a sweet tooth. Once Licht was satisfied with his coffee, he took a sip. He peeked at Hyde’s book between them and said, “You’re the type to highlight lines in his book. I haven’t seen that much highlighter aside from university textbooks and actor’s scripts.”

“I wanted to highlight my favourite parts so I could find them again. Better at a Distance was the best story in the collection, I think. It has drama, forbidden love and tragedy.” Hyde flipped to the story and spun the book to Licht. “What do you think of the ending?”

“It was the protagonist’s own fault that the love interest pushed him off the cliff. He should’ve told her the truth about who he was. You can’t blame her for being scared and confused when a skeleton man appeared instead of the handsome nobleman he claimed he was. I don’t know what he expected to happen.” Licht set down his coffee on the table and stared at the highlighted words. “Some things are better at a distance.”

The short story revolved around a romance between a princess and an undead servant. They never met in person yet they traded letters every day and eventually fell in love. The night they arranged to elope with each other, his form frightened her and she accidentally pushed him off a cliff.

“I guess he was hoping that she would accept him despite his appearance. That wasn’t the issue though. He didn’t trust her enough to let her get to know him. That’s the tragedy. Their romance was doomed from the start because he lied and kept a distance between them.” He didn’t glance at the book but quoted: “I’ve told so many lies I don’t know who I truly am anymore.”

Licht tilted his head slightly and asked: “Are you an actor?”

“What?” Hyde choked on his drink. He was an aspiring actor and that was one of the reasons Kranz asked him for help. Licht didn’t seem angry so he doubted he knew about the plan. Hesitantly, he asked: “How did you know that I’m an actor? Did you stalk me on the internet?”

“It was just my intuition.” He answered with a shrug. Licht nonchalantly stirred his coffee and went on to explain, “My parents are famous pianists and they would often have celebrities over for house parties. Most were musicians but some were actors. There weren’t many kids at the parties so I played a game with myself. ‘Guess what this person is.’ I’m rarely wrong.”

“You’re only half right this time. I want to become an actor but I haven’t landed a major role yet. For now, I’m working part time jobs and acting as Villager B in a local stage production.” Hyde joked dryly. “It’s my dream to be on a grand stage. When my performance is over, the audience will be too in awe to clap. Then, after a moment, the room will be filled with applause and claps. I can only imagine getting that reaction.”

“When you recited that line from the book, I pictured you on stage.” Licht was drawn into the passion in Hyde’s voice. It was clear that he was driven. Since he was chasing his own dream to be a pianist, he respected Hyde’s determination. “We all have to start somewhere. As long as you don’t give up halfway through, you can do anything you imagine. That’s what my parents taught me.”

Hyde was certain that Licht wouldn’t be as encouraging if he knew that his first major acting job was to befriend him. He changed the subject and said, “Your parents are musicians as well. Do I know of them?”

“My full name is Licht Jekylland Todoroki.” He told him but Hyde didn’t recognize the surname. Licht wasn’t surprised nor upset that he didn’t know his parents. He was a little glad he didn’t. “They tour in Europe so they’re mostly known there. I didn’t want to rely on my family name so I moved to Japan to start my career here. My music speaks for itself.”

“I have to hear you play one day. You can watch the production I’m in too.” Hyde offered. As they talked, he forgot about Kranz and their plan. Licht was engaging and Hyde found himself opening up more than he usually would. He leaned his cheek in his hand and grinned at Licht. “You remind me of the main character from Blind Love. Stubbornly independent.”

“I am not.” Licht pouted. “If I am, then you’re the character from Serendipity. A demon!”

“You break my heart, Lichtan. Here I thought we were getting along too.” His words were mixed with a laugh. “Between those two stories, which did you enjoy more?”

“Sorry, I’m late, Kranz.” Licht immediately said as he stumbled into the music room. He lost track of time while he spent time with Hyde and he almost missed practise. He raced out of the bookstore the moment he realized the time. “An hour passed. Do you think we can squeeze in another hour?”

“I asked the owner that before you came but someone already have this room booked after our session. They said that they’ll only charge us for the time we use instead of what’s booked so that’s lucky.” Kranz said but he could see that Licht was still frustrated. “We have the room booked for the next three hours and that should be enough time for your practise. It’s the normal amount people play each day.”

“I don’t want to limit myself to what most people do. I can’t reach my dreams unless I go beyond that.” Licht recalled the advice his father gave him before he left for Japan. He took out music sheets from his bag and sat in front of the piano.

“I tried texting you but you didn’t answer.” Kranz lied. “Where were you today? You usually have breakfast in your hotel room but you weren’t there this morning.”

“My friend and I were at a book club. We’re going to meet again on Monday. Next time I lose track of time, call me instead of texting me.”

[potentiallymrsdevorak]

First of all, I want to say I LOVE your headcanons, thank you so much for doing them! If you are up for it, headcanon for the main 5 (all besides Lucio) missing the MC while the MC is away on a trip or something.

thank you for the love

and fuck lucio!!!

Asra:

it’s funny because he’s usually the one that is going on journeys, and he always has missed the apprentice while he was away

but NOW, he’s at the shop all by himself, and it feels so much emptier without them there

when there’s no customers, he is visually upset, but continues on about his day, wishing they were by his side

“do you think they miss me as much as i miss them, faust?”

is sooooo happy when they finally come home, peppers kisses all over their face and literally refuses to let go of their hand

Nadia:

she misses them hella, but isn’t going to show it as much

she has a kingdom to run, she can’t be thrown off by small things like her lover going on a trip

but, she cannot lie, her bed is much more lonely without her

finds herself doing things they like to do together in her free time to make her feel better

when theyre finally back at the castle, she’ll greet them with a long hug at the front gates, whispering about how glad she was that they were home

Julian:

big, dramatic boy, he literally misses them so much tho

“oh, woe is me! my lover has gone away, and when will i know of their return?” gets all shakespearian even though he prolly wasnt even alive

mopes around his home, sighs theatrically as he looks out the window over the city

mazelinka is kinda over the dramatic shit and hits him over the head with her spoon

when they come back, it’s literally as if theyve come back to life, he takes them and dramatically kisses them over and over again

Muriel:

this man survived his whole life without them, he can go for a week while theyre gone…

is what he thinks

the biggest thing he’s worried about is if they will forget him over their time away, his heart would literally shatter if that happened

finds himself smelling their clothes so he can relax

they finally come home and they havent forgotten him, he greets them with an embrace and carries them over to the fire, asking all about the journey

Portia:

oh baby girl its okay it won’t be for long!

much like julian, she will mope around the cottage feeling like a part of her is missing inside since they are gone

finds herself snuggling pepi a little more intensely than normal

makes all their favorite foods and eats them while silently crying

she is so relieved when they make it home, she prepared a big welcoming feast and spends the night doting on them

[fictionerd]

Good to see you!

Ah, crap I’m not that great at the snarky bits. HEY! FIC! I’m tagging you in for this bit!

Synopsis: Well who am I to argue? So this week on the continuing adventures of the Demon’s Day-ruiners. Dororo being a lovable scamp as usual cons money out of Tahobabby in exchange for the timely assist and gets directions to the plot... I mean Daigo’s territory.. yeah that’s what I meant. 

Of course as soon as they arrive a lady who used WAY too much eyeliner spots Hyakkimaru and begins screaming about demon children and vengeance. Honestly it’s a little late for foreshadowing, lady, we’ve known this was coming since episode one. More on her in a bit.

After being treated to the Ember Island version of Ass-Dad’s dealings with demons, our precious chitlins meet up with Potato-head monk who says “Hey want to come with me and visit the one place that will literally answer all of your questions about the plot?” but of course Dororo’s like, “Nah we got fat stacks to make man. See you around though.

So they end up hearing about this Banmon that’s haunted by mad ghosts and go to have a look at it. Hyakkimaru uses his special eyes to confirm that, yup this shit’s been Demon’d but good. With the help of a precocious local youth the two stake the place out until Foxfire shows up at which point we get our obligatory action scene. Precocious youth tries to book it into the woods followed by Dororo who’s trying to save his over-eager ass when they get caught by enemy soldiers.

Meanwhile T-marz eavesdrops on his parents and gets spoon-fed the answer to all his questions but fails to note the poignant line of “Our Son” from his mother. So instead he goes and bumps into the shakespearian soothsayer lady. She tries to spell it out for him and we’ll just have to check back with that next week because OMG! THISEST OF ASSHOLES has tracked down Hyakkimaru and seems intent on killing his own son to keep his streak going. Good to see he’s learned absolutely JACK ALL from his previous dealings with demons.

What will be the result of this fateful confrontation? Will Dororo and the weekly charming urchin be able to escape the Asakura? Will Tahomoron ever put together that Hyakkimaru is his brother? Find out Next ti-

Okay thanks! Tagging back in.

Thoughts: So being a part one of two doesn’t precisely do this episode any favors being looked at on its merits alone. There are a lot of open threads by the end which given the context is okay. The fight with Kyubi, while cool in its own right, felt a little less impactful that Hyakkimaru’s previous demon bouts. Hard to get the same weight of back-and-forth when Hyakki’s fighting what’s essentially a green campfire. Still it had plenty of spectacle and it was neat to see the rare usage of Hyakki’s actual sword. As a setup all on its own it feels perfectly serviceable. Can’t wait till next week.

Until next post keep talking fiction. We’ll see you soon.

[novelelitist]

Wow I just saw your Cú post through my tag tracking and it was SO LOVELY! Now I would like to make a request as well. But if you're good with doing m/m writing, I would like to ask for Male Summoner x Ozymandias. He's hot and I'm Big Gay. Please and thank you in advance ♡

BLESS YOUR SOUL MY GAY SON. I appreciate you. Thanks for checking out my work. Feel free to stick around!

Since you just found me, TLDR: my “niche” is writing situations that are believable within proper characterization. That is to say, I’m not here to give people the fluff they want, nor will I break character if I can avoid it. My goal is to keep it real for the characters we love. I hope you like it!

Ozymandias Romance with Male Master

Is it offensive for a 21st century gay boy to want an Egyptian pharaoh to fuck the shit out of him? You do some research to find out.

There are only a “handful of direct hints” remaining about the representation of homosexuality in ancient Egypt, that are “vague and offer plenty of room for speculation.” 

Why are all the remaining texts so full of Shakespearian-style Egyptian language? None of this shit makes any sense.

But ancient Egyptians did live sexually liberated lifestyles and were the masters of debauchery. Men probably messed with other men.

Chaldea hosts many old guys that are able to offer their wisdom. You ask a couple of Chaldea’s kings their opinion on whether or not it’s okay for a young commoner man to want romance with their king.

Iskandar: “The heart is stronger than the rest of the body.”

Caesar: “I’ve bed many a beautiful boy. Delicate specimens.”

Vlad III: “You choose what you want and defend it with your life.”

Darius III: “RAAAOOOOARRRR.”

David: “God loves all men, and we were created in his image.”

This was a fruitless effort. But lo and behold the great Gilgamesh Archer and Gilgamesh Caster come into your conversation bickering over how they want to phrase their wisdom. 

“A king decides on their own who is worthy of their affections regardless of sex. It is not up to the commoner.”

You ask what the case is if that king has past lovers.

“If those lovers are unable to be summoned or join the king now, then they are without consort. They are nothing more than history.”

With this newfound knowledge you are more comfortable approaching the pharaoh, though you can’t be certain how he’ll react. 

Ozymandias has a tendency to be… dramatic. Unpredictable. Dangerous. A threat to himself and others. 

More of a threat to others than himself.

You approach the King of Kings’s personal quarters and shove aside the limestone slab he calls a door (but is really just remnants from his pyramids). Upon stepping inside the slab shifts back on its own. Ominous.

His sanctuary is set up as a king’s bed standing in the middle of a desert oasis. Flowers bloom along the bank of a small river where little fish skitter at your approach. Cat tails line the immaculate tiling. Embellishments mimicking a throne room are detailed throughout the servant’s living space.

Underneath the sheer canopy covering the regal bed lies Ozymandias flipping through a book. He casts a surprised glance up at your entry. “I was not expecting visitors today, Master. Have you come to worship me?”

You gulp. Stand your ground. You’ve got this. “Something like that, actually. May I come in?”

“You ask my permission after entering my domain and assume I will grant it.” He shuts his book and pats the spot beside him on his bed. “I give you the honor of joining me.” You push back the golden canopy and sit beside the pharaoh. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

It is then you realize you don’t have anything prepared to say to the greatest pharaoh of the New Kingdom of Egypt whose brother parted the Red Sea and whose first born was lost to a plague because he pissed off God. Good start, Master.

The discomfort shows as you stop to think. Ozymandias nods in understanding without you speaking. “I see. That would be troubling for one such as yourself.”

Did he just read your mind? “

“I would be appalled if you weren’t taken by my presence. A pharaoh such as myself that is born of the sun itself deserves a world of worship.” He sits up and leans toward you, grinning. “I do find you intriguing, though I cannot pinpoint why. I find myself pleased by your face and enjoying your company.” 

You open your mouth to clarify your situation. He presses his finger to your lips. “Do not interrupt me, mage. If you wish to be wooed by me, I will not deny you. You will be swept away. But there are conditions for this that must be met.”

This is going better than expected. You nod with enthusiasm. 

“You will acknowledge that I am your ideal ruler. You will remain responsible for providing me with mana and instruction for battle. You will worship me with the fervor I deserve. And finally…” He grips your chin and brushes his thumb across your lower lip. “I will worship you the same.”

You sputter. Meltdown. Oh no. Mayday, mayday. “Isn’t that a lot happening too fast? That seems like–”

“Nonsense!” Ozy shouts, pressing his forehead against yours in an act of dominance. “Every moment wasted is one your life may end. I do not worry for too fast. You may keep up with me, or you may not. The choice is yours.”

…You know, he has a good point. This is all so unexpected. Why does he have to be so reckless? Hectic. Confusing. Did Gilgamesh spill your concerns to him? There’s no way he should’ve been this prepared. Maybe it’s his ego. Boy oh boy your friends back home never would’ve believed this.

“Well, Master? Speak. Will you follow me or not?”

[taiblogcomics]

Everybody Does the Wave

Hey there, Shakespearian Ghostbusters. New year, same old shit, eh? At least on this blog! And what better embodies that than doing yet another issue of Suicide Squad~? We'll never be done with it! Ah, what a waking nightmare that is to contemplate...~

Here's the cover:

Let's discuss this bit first, since I neglected to mention it on the last Red Hood review. As you can see, they've dropped the "Rebirth" branding from the issues now. One helpful thing about being a year behind on your backlog, though, is that I can tell you they go back to putting the story arc's title at the top of every issue again, which as I mentioned before is one of my favourite decisions. It really helps when you're just flipping through a stack. In addition, every book in DC's regular stable now has that little sidebar labelled "DC Universe", with the little symbol showing what line of books they're in. I like that too, iconography is really important to me~

Okay, now as for the actual cover... Dude, what the fuck~? Look at this fucking prog-rock album. I'm always really glad to see superhero comics getting sort of experimental and symbolic with their covers. Fuckin' outerspace skeletons. Don't really care for the suits' design, but whatcha gonna do? Still, ten out of ten cover. The skeleton war has taken to space~

All right, so, last we left, most of the Squad had been taken as part of the Red Wave. The monster itself is now headed out to claim its last pieces of its heart so it can infect all of Earth. Fortunately, we have one savior remaining: Harley Quinn! ...Well, we're screwed. And indeed, she quickly shows us how screwed we are by abandoning her safe place inside the vault, running right past the group. See, she's accidentally opened the Phantom Zone portal, and now she can't shut it off. Stealing Katana's sword to protect her from the Red Wave, she casually pushes Rick Flag Sr into the Phantom Zone. Trapped in there, he's cut off from the Red Wave. He's dying of old age now, but he's himself once more.

And who should be here to give him comfort in his last moments than his grandson, Rick Flag Jr. Sr begs Jr to take his spacesuit and use its thruster to escape the Phantom Zone again, and go save the one thing he still cares about: Karin. Like, fuck the human race, they're probably doomed. Just don't let ol' Karin continue to suffer under the Red Wave. And as the Red Wave bears down on her location, she can already tell: Rick Flag Sr has passed from this plane.

There's a brief interlude on Earth, where we see Deadshot's group dealing with King Faraday. Enchantress is holding back the Red Wave effect on him long enough for him to call Karin and say it's not her fault he got infected. He gives her a last-minute "I'm dying, so let me say I always loved you" confession, then tells her she's the only one who can stop the Red Wave now, while it's still in space. It's a bit too late, though. The Red Wave Monster tears through the station, siezes Karin in one claw, and pops her whole into its mouth.

That, of course, is the cue for the real Karin to step out (clad in a space suit) and reveal the decoy was that alien Argent. Argent, it turns out, was a Durlan. They're a shapeshifting race in DC Comics, and that particular one was also holding a load of high-yield explosives in its body when it was swallowed. She then has all the station's robots anchor the Red Wave to the base, and takes control of the station's engines to pilot the whole thing into the sun. With the Suicide Squad now released from the Red Wave, they're quickly rescued by Rick Flag Jr. He intends to keep his promise to his grandpa and save Karin.

We then finish with that two-page backup featuring King Faraday. He's just been infected with the Red Wave. However, he's got kind of a strong will, and is able to retain his faculties a bit. At least, he manages to keep sane enough to tell he's infected and to know who else is infected. So he kills as many fellow infectees as he can and burns down the facility. Good, the actions of a sane man. Unfortunately, before he can tell anything to Karin, she's already jetting off to outer space to keep the Red Wave contained before it gets to Earth.

Well, Rick Flag’s officially back! Did you miss him? Yeah, me neither. You’d think the fight with the Red Wave would be more gripping stuff, and I mean, this isn’t a bad issue. The trick with Argent seemed both really clever and kind of an ass-pull at the same time, you know? Did they mention they were a Durlan beforehand? If they had, would that have been too obvious or not? I dunno, maybe it just doesn’t feel climactic enough. Again, not a bad issue, just one that felt like it should’ve been more, since we’re fighting an identity-stealing kaiju in space and all. Next issue hopefully will fix that. Maybe this one just couldn’t live up to its cover~

[dcarevu]

DCAU #15: Heart Of Ice

“What killed the dinosaurs? THE ICE AGE!”

Yeah, I decided to get the Batman and Robin joke out of the way before even starting. Check off that requirement early. Now I don’t have to mention it for the rest of this blog’s life, and can officially forget about its existence. I’ve been waiting for this day. But unfortunately, since this is usually how I watch tv shows, this is probably the last time I’ll get to see Heart Of Ice for a little while as well. I should’ve known that such an emotionally positive moment wouldn’t be without a catch. It’s like when the snow finally melts, but with it goes the cancelled classes.

Episode: 14 Robin: No Writer: Paul Dini Director: Bruce Timm Animator: Spectrum Airdate: September 7, 1992 Grade: A

This, as I’m sure all of you already know, is a damn strong episode that manages to hit me with almost as much strength as Two-Face, but in some ways has a little bit more going for it when it comes to the typical superhero show stuff. I find that Dini and Burnett are on the same page when it comes to the basics, but also have very different approaches to some of their finest moments, at least when comparing Two-Face to Heart Of Ice. As far as which one I like better, I’d probably have to give the edge to Two-Face, as I feel the emotional weight of that one packs more of a wallop. But I don’t think that necessarily means that it’s objectively a better episode. I think there are certainly people who would see more to enjoy in Heart Of Ice in terms of fun, in terms of visuals, and in terms of having a villain who is almost as interesting psychologically, and much more interesting superficially. I mean, it’s a guy with a freezing gun and a suit that makes him look like he just flew in from Jupiter. Plus he has a really cool voice! He’s like something out of the original Twilight Zone.

This actually used to be my favorite episode of the series, so I was a little bit surprised as I watched it and didn't quite get lost in it all like I did a few years back. I might have been expecting too much from it, and admittedly may have hyped it up a little bit too much before my girlfriend watched it (generally I try to not say in advance whether an episode is good or not so it’s completely fresh to her). Definitely enjoyable, I think something that is required for max enjoyment out of this episode is its overall context in the world of cartoons and comic book characters. These days it’s easy to take Mr. Freeze for granted, without thinking about the huge character transformation that Paul Dini created. It’s surprising sometimes to think that before this show, it was rather difficult to find an action show that you could take so seriously. The medium is newer than it feels, and this episode came out only a little bit before I was born. Nowadays we have shows like Avatar the Last Airbender which are more consistent than Batman the Animated Series, and altogether easily rival the DCAU, but if watching this episode and show today gives that feeling, picturing catching it back then is breathtaking. It was the third episode to air, and while I have preferred watching the show in production order, I can see why they did what they did. From the aspect of catching viewers and showing people what the show is all about, it truly does make the most sense to make this an early one. Maybe that’s another reason I remember this episode so incredibly fondly. Last time I watched the show in full, this was the 4th one I saw (I watched The Cat and the Claw parts together when initially they were bafflingly split up).

Everyone knows why this episode works, so I shall attempt to explain why it doesn’t work quite as strongly as it would if it were perfect. Without intending to be a contrarian, because that is definitely not what this blog is about. It’s about just enjoying something, but also giving some raw honest thoughts on that enjoyment, whether it’s positive or negative. This feeling is very difficult, though, because nothing rubbed me the wrong way here except for Batman’s “Freeze!” line. That line nipped at me worse than the 8˚ snowstorm going on outside my window as I type this. Kevin Conroy was a great voice actor from the very beginning of this show, but he just starts to sound so much more natural the further it goes on. He’s still playing a character this early on. But by the time we get to TNBA, the man is Batman. But no, if that one line was enough to ruin the episode for me, that would be pretty cold (ha). I think more it’s just a lack of “the feels” that I feel like the episode is trying to get across. It’s just not as heartbreaking as Harvey Dent’s story. Mr. Freeze being this cold, cold man who hides his emotions under a block of ice is such a great concept, but I think some things could be done to make it feel a little bit less cold to the audience. I don’t really know that could have been accomplished, but I wanted watching Mr. Freeze’s wife about to be unplugged and him getting kicked into those chemicals leave me with the exact same reaction that Batman had. “My God.” Instead it was more, “Oh, that’s pretty bad.” But at the same time, some of the lines of this one really do almost make you tear up a little bit. This writing is practically Shakespearian, so it’s pretty damn difficult to feel nothing or take more than a couple points off.

As much as the last episode we watched just shouldn’t exist, it being right next to this one sets up many direct opportunities to show why Batman was so important to animated family programming. Even ignoring all of the stupid shit we got to see, just compare the villains alone, Penguin vs Freeze. Penguin is a complete gimmick of a villain. What do we know about him? Well, he makes bird noises… He makes bird puns… He has a bird… He hides out in a birdseed factory. Maybe a little arrogant. I mean, am I missing something here? I’m purposely not thinking about his later appearances. Now take Mr. Freeze. He know his gimmick qualities too, like we do with penguin. But unlike Penguin, these gimmicks do not define him. We know that he has suffered a double-loss, namely his freedom and his wife. We know that he initially was working to change the world for the better, even if this meant risking his job. We know that what happened to him was enough to erase the hope and compassion from his heart. We know that he carries himself like he’s unfeeling when we know from listening to him that this is completely the opposite. It’s like he doesn’t want to feel anymore, but in reality he wouldn’t be doing what he does without intense, boiling emotions. And what does he do to hide this heat? Acts cold. In reality, the cold one is his old boss, Ferris Boyle. We understand Mr. Freeze. We may not agree with him. We may not even like him. But at least we get where he’s coming from, which nicely balances out the prick that is Boyle. Sometimes heartless, 2-dimensional villains can be okay if they’re done right and balanced properly. It’s not like these types of people don’t exist in our world. But the way they did this with the Penguin? Doesn’t make for riveting television either way. And when the Penguin is so boring and so ridiculous at the same time, that’s a double turn off. Mr. Freeze is a little bit ridiculous. Look at that costume. Look at the way he rides the fire hydrant water to enter his icy death chamber. Not exactly realism here, folks. But then he also has that human element to ground him. He’s interesting. And the aesthetic of the episode is here. He’s a character, not an obstacle. Granted, this is only one factor of Heart Of Ice or Basement, and I could go on when it comes to things that make each good vs bad, but hey, we have the whole series to further figure out what makes an enjoyable episode. Just thought I’d bring up this one aspect.

Interestingly, cold is what extinguished the friendly fire within Victor, but heat is what defeated that cold in the end…or at least melted it long enough to put him behind those icy bars of Arkham Asylum (not exactly sure how that cell worked, but it was beautiful, so you won’t see me complaining. Sometimes stylization trumps realism). I don’t just mean the fact that Batman’s chicken soup was sitting in a heat-containing thermos. In mean that in a way, it was love that defeated Freeze. Alfred’s love for Batman. It may have been played for comic relief when Alfred first told Batman what he was packing him, but I also thought that it was really sweet. Batman carrying around a container of soup that Alfred made him. It makes me smile so much, and I’m actually a little bit sad that he didn’t get to enjoy it, but hey, it possibly saved his life. Gotta do what you gotta do. Without Alfred’s kindness, Mr. Freeze may have won the battle. Without Boyle’s darkness, Fries may have won Nora’s battle. If this isn’t a good, but not obvious, lesson, well, I don’t know what is. And then we end with mr. Freeze alone, finally able to show some vulnerability. But even when he touches the snow globe which represents the love of his life, the thing frosts over and she stops spinning. Not even through this way can he touch her anymore. And then we close by having Batman watching through the window. The words of Mr. Freeze speak so loudly. But so does Batman’s ending silence. Great stuff here, people. Great stuff.

Oh, and that opening Mr. Freeze theme sticks with you. It’s in my head right now. I’m whistling it out-loud while Char is trying to do homework.

Char’s grade: B Next time: The Cat and the Claw (Part 1)

Full episode list here!

[biorusted]

A MidSpring’s Night Trip

Characters- Natalie, Lucifer (natan) Words- 1873

Summary- Lucifer shows Natalie the kind of parties that happen in the woods. 

“Ok, dude. I think you’ve dragged me into the woods far enough; where are we going?” Natalie pushed past some dew slick branches and let them shake off the water behind her; as she had done all the way so far.

Natalie looked up through the mosaic of blacks and greens to the sea above them, still the sun hadn’t come to lighten the sky and still they were walking. She really wished she saw the time before Lucifer had popped them in the middle of a seemingly ancient forest, that way she could hold it against him, but sadly, her sleepiness had no numerical value. She couldn’t even see the smiling moon to give an estimate! Surely there could be only twenty minuets more… at least… maybe.

  Lucifer continued to charge a head as if the question slipped past his ears into moss and lichen covered trees. Or maybe he had put cotton in his ears, as he hadn’t replied to a single thing she’s said all morning—night—whatever. She momentarily thought about just stopping and seeing how far he would go into the woods without his little duckling behind him, but that would mean being alone in the woods. Instead she picked up a piece of bark and threw it at his head.

Disappointingly, he caught it like he had eyes at the back of his head and dropped it by his feet.

“Girl, can you stop messing up the forest, its going to make it harder later on.”

“’Harder later on?’ What do you mean! Where are we? What have you brought me out here to see?”  

Lucifer rolled his head back and sighed. “I can’t tell you, dumbass, then it won’t work – they can smell anticipation.”

“And what? You don’t have anticipation?”

“No, I have never anticipated anything in my life.”

Natalie reached forward and shoved him as hard as she could. “Liar.”

“No, I have never lied about anything in my life.”

She groaned and kicked at the dirt under tow. “Give me something at least!! Please!”

He jumped across a creek bed and looked back, “Okay. We’re in Greece.” He held out his hand for her to take.

“I’m sorry what was that?” She jumped across.

“Greece.”

“Like… Europe?”

“No like the movie- we’re in the 1970’s or some shit. Get ready to start singing.” His eyes were as deadpan as his voice. “Shush, Kid, we’re almost there.”

“Wher-“ Natalie started, but was cut off via Lucifer flicking her forehead. She crossed her arms and continued to follow him blindly through the now-confirmed ancient forest.

   After another five minutes of off-trail hiking and one minuet of trekking through the mud, Lucifer brought her to a clearing. Immediately, she could tell there was something intriguing about the area. A shiver went up her spine as warm air breathed down her neck, she turned suddenly but was met with the same midnight forest she had been walking through for who knows how long.

“Natalie.” Lucifer called her from across the clearing. She turned to find him sitting down against one of the larger trees that stood guard for something invisible. He patted the mossy ground next to him. “Walk around, sit with me.”

She looked at him, and then in the middle, where the creeping moon shown light. A small, decrepit gravestone peaked out of the ground at a sunken angle. Little golden mushrooms grew a ring around the grave, and almost seemed to glow.  For an unknown reason, Natalie bowed her head and walked around to where Lucifer had indicated.

As soon as she sat down, Lucifer put her arm around her.

“You’re going to feel warm. For this to work they can’t know you’re here; they hate humans.”

“So why will I feel warm?” She looked up at him.

“I’m going to cover your aura with mine… According to Raphael, my aura is… warm.”

“Oh? So, he can see auras too? How does that work?”

“I don’t know. I think it’s like an either-or thing. Like he see’s either the soul or the aura depending if he’s making eye contact with someone? That’s how he explained it to me, anyway.”

“And your Aura is ‘warm?’”

“There’s no point in questioning the things he says. Now, seriously, hush.”

“Okay.”

“Shh.”

From where his fingers brushed her waist, heat like a spring afternoon spread throughout her person. Instinctively, she leaned into Lucifer’s chest and relaxed, another moment passed, and she felt Lucifer relax too.

Without another word between them, they gazed out into the clearing before them. Long stretches of silence passed between wind moving the canopy above them and setting off the natural windchime of leaves. Natalie listened, strained to hear past the wind, but somehow there were no other sounds interlaced through the old columns of trees. Not a single fern shifted, not a twig snapped. It was just their breathing, and the wind.

And then, there were fireflies. One by one they filtered into the clearing as if they were strung together, all heading towards the center. Soon, the forest they sat in turned into the milky way and, Natalie swore hints of purple and red shimmered across the short grass.

Natalie lifted her hand cautiously and let it gravitate towards a string of lights before Lucifer grabbed her hand and shook his head. He still held her hand as he brought it down. So, this wasn’t what they were waiting for.

Out of the corner of her eye, ferns were brushed aside as a deer tiptoed into the ring. Natalie held her breath as the doe smelled the air and blinked her long lashes inches from her face. Two little fawns trotted in after her, not as careful and not as graceful as their mother, but just a gorgeous. Natalie felt Lucifer hold her hands in place; he really knew her too well.

Her eyes glinted through the space again and again as she tried to see all the new comers filing in. Song birds and snakes line the branches like audience members while larger forest goers settled on the floor. Then, one by one, the stars started to go out, and silence returned to the woods. Everything was holding its breath for what Natalie thought was the final guest to the night’s party.

As Lucifer would explain later, it wasn’t the last guest they were waiting for; but the hosts.

The lights reappeared, but these were different. Instead of golden globes; blues, violets, crimsons-- more vibrant than fireworks—sparked to life. They grew from tiny flames into butterflies into…

Fairies.

Natalie covered her mouth to keep her revelation silent. The clearing slowly filled with a mosaic of tiny bodies and animate lights, something that no artist could recreate. She watched as the lines started to shift into circles, and then loops and then spider lilies.

They watched as the fairies danced around the forests guests with the gravestone in the center of it all.

Lucifer tapped her forearm and snapped herself out of the trance. To her glee, the corners of his mouth were turned up ever so slightly. He sat up straight and reached forward as if to not startle a humming bird feeding.

For a second, he was ignored, but then a little fairy with an orange glow bedded in its chest paused in their ritual to settle on the devil’s finger. The creature locked eyes with Lucifer, large black abysses meeting the sun, and smiled. They stood like a ballerina, curtsied, and joined the dancing once more.

The dancing continued without stop, but soon Natalie found that they were actually doing something; an alter of flowers, woodland trinkets and bitts of lost items was being made within the circle of fungi. With every minute that passed the space was filled until wreaths of foreign flowers held tight to the chipping stone. Still, they danced on. And on.

Natalie felt her sink into something intangible and then, the lights dimmed.

**-*-*-**

  A hand grazed her cheek and brushed back her hair.

  “Natalie? Wake up its time to go back. Did you really fall asleep during that?”

Natalie lifted her head up and wiped the drool from the corner of her mouth.

“Its not my fault.” Her head felt like a sack of bricks. “Carry me?”

After a moment’s pause “You’re lucky I’m being nice today.”

“Mm hm.” She mumbled and allowed him to pick her up off the damp ground. “Is it over?” she mumbled.

“Yeah, its been over for a while now. They usually finish before daybreak and crawl back to whatever hole in the ground they came out of.”

She opened her eyes and strained to get another glimpse of the fairy alter just to find nothing remaining of the night’s festivities. The beautiful collection of gifts reverted to a simple crooked stone marker in the middle of a dirt circle. She felt a tendril of sorrow.

Aparently, Lucifer caught on. “It happens almost every night, Natalie, its what they’ve been doing for thousands of years.” He commented. Natalie figured he thought nothing of the whole event until he turned before leaving the clearing and bowed his head to the grave.

She thought about letting it slide. “Who was buried here?”

His eyes skirted the ground and the sleepy forest around them, debating on whether to tell her.

“You actually… might have heard of her before. That bastard… Shakespeare, right? He used stories of her in one of his writings.” He shifted his grasp on her. “Her name was Titania. She was a fallen… and a close friend of mine a long time ago.”

“The Queen of Fairies, right? A Midsummer’s Night Dream n’ all that.”

“Yeah, except she wasn’t really the queen, just a person that spent a lot of time with whats called ‘the Fae.’”

She nodded as if she could understand, “How… did she die?”

Lucifer sighed. “She poisoned herself because the man she fell in love with was hunted down and slaughtered because he was suspected of treason.”

She thought a bit as branches brushed by her legs. “Very Shakespearian.”

He laughed a little, “Yeah, that bitch knew how to be dramatic. I mean, look at the funeral she held for herself. Plus, now she’s immortalized in history as a plot devise for not two but four lovers? That’s more than any of my stories could do.” His laughter died down suddenly. He’d taken a wrong step, she realized. He shook his head and started again.  “Titania was very powerful, I knew she was crazy for falling in love, but I didn’t do anything to stop it.  It’s a shame she died. I think you would have liked her.”

“Really? How so?”

“I once heard from Raphael that she had a garden soul too.”

“Ah.” She started to giggle as the drowsiness washed over her again. “A garden soul and a warm aura. That’s funny.”

“What are you talking about? Are you high?” His distain was clear even through her closed eye lids. She had half a mind to wrap her arms around him and hug him, but the air was warming up, and the forest smelled of rain, so she fell asleep in his arms. 

[randomlylameusername]

1) okay so Zhen Huan goes from being a shy 17 year old to the second wife of the emperor with 10+ other women. She has to make a lot of increasingly dubious decisions to keep herself and her children safe. Then there's Ann, who comes from a broke family, who starts out as Zhen Huans ally, and then betrays Zhen Huan in return for the empress' protection. She physically mutilates herself throughout the course of the season to keep the emperors attention. Her arc was incredibly compelling and dark, she's fairly prominent throughout the show.

2) Its a Chinese drama, so everyone is cisgender/heterosexual. But there isn't active homophobia either. You could certainly read into mei and the dowagers relationship as sexual if you were so inclined.

3) Its a drama.

4) Literally every character and many of the servants get time examining what they want and why they're behaving the way they are. If a main concubine dies they tend to monologue to wrap up any doubts you may have about their motivation and goals, which gives it all a nice Shakespearian tragedy flavouring. But yeah seriously, no stone is unturned in this show.

5) I found Ann fascinating start to finish. Pretty sure she's exactly what you're looking for, I'm worried I'm going to over explain and spoil the show aha.

6) I believe it came out in the last 10 years.

7) Themes start out as cute girls in love, quickly goes to shit with much backstabbing murder and mutilation. Deals with very heavy themes as it goes on. Most sexual content is implied, because of chinese decency laws.

8) They're all Chinese?

9) The costume and location departments had INSANE budgets and it shows. I could flick through pictures of their outfits alone for a couple of hours and be entertained.

So in my search for characters from TV shows that I believe provide the most significant characterization, representation, development and evolution, I've found the character Willow Rosenberg, and of course there's always been Gabrielle from Xena. But I need more characters that undergo incredibly strong and substantial character development throughout the entire life-span of the TV show and I'm asking for recommendations because you guys know your television shit on Tumblr and I don't watch much TV.

Here are the requirements:

1. (most important) This character has to go through a huge transformation mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually to the capacity where I will disagree with them or feel dissonant towards them and I would feel the need to insert myself in the TV show to call them out or slap them across the face at some points. I want them to SHAKE me. If I don't feel that towards them, they're not worth my time or attention. And believe me, I have a high threshold for this because I like to LEARN.

2. I would prefer cisgender female since that's what I am and I want to be able to relate to and resonate as much as possible but it's not that big of a deal so can be of any gender identity or sexuality or fluctuating.

3. The TV show must be a DRAMA or a dramedy (drama-comedy). Reason for this being I often find pure comedies to have shite writing and the characters can come across annoying or even insulting because of this. So TV shows like 'Glee' is no go for me. Not that that has shite writing. It's just I've already seen it and I wasn't particularly interested in any of the characters from it. Can be any other genre along with DRAMA too. (action, fantasy, sci-fi, horror, thriller, romance, ect.) Suprise me so long as it's not a pure comedy.

4. In order to have significant character characterization, representation, development and evolution for ALL the side and recurring characters and not just the main (I. E. the protagonist/hero of the TV show), the TV show must last longer than 2 seasons. And I don't want no cancelled and left on a cliffhanger bullshit. Full shows with a conclusion.

5. Give me somebody to root for. Meaning can be an antagonist/villain who has a redemption arc of some kind and joins up with the protagonist/hero at some points to help them out or even is the flawed protagonist/hero of the TV show themselves that needs to do some growing. Think of characters like Xena, Spike, Zuko, Ares, Callisto, Korra.

Or an underdog for whatever reason that doesn't recieve the attention or credit they deserve and gains leading ground with more and more screen-time given to them to flesh out their arc with this. Think of characters like Gabrielle, Willow, Katara, Toph.

6. Can be any TV show from any point in time. 80's, 90's, 2000's or recent. Whatever. But preferably something that isn't dated before the 80's so the picture quality is somewhat watchable on a 55 inch screen TV.

7. Can be either live action or animation or a mix of both (I. E Lizzie McGuire) but not a show that's for toddlers. So that leaves teenagers/adolescents/coming-of-age or just all out adult. I have no issue with sex/violence/gore/addiction themes. In fact I'd prefer it for the sake of the character dealing with heavy shit that causes them to go on a roller-coaster ride of emotions often. Remember the point is for me to relate to or resonate with it. I am 28 years old. So unless it's family-oriented like Lizzie McGuire, I don't want Disney/Nickelodeon/Cartoon Network TV shows. And I've seen most of them anyway.

8. If it includes Black/POC or LGBTQ+ representation (which I would prefer it to do so), I must absolutely attest that there be NO QUEERBAITING, NO RACISM, NO HOMO/BI/TRANS/QUEER/XENOPHOBIA within the writing. While I realize that the latter is a good confliction and compelling storyline, understand that I am absolutely fed up of tropes like Bury Your Gays, Man-Inserted, It-Was-All-A Dream/Mental Illness or anything where it makes you percieve any of the characters as complete fucking dicks surrounding this. They can still be complete fucking dicks in other ways.

9. Depending on how dated it is, I want decent graphics, special FX and clever use of environment/props. Anything of a CGI or anime style cannot be lazy because it takes the human realism away from it. I like characters to look HUMANOID. No animal-hybrid shite.

10. Does NOT have to be English or of an American/Western production. Can be of any language or culture whatsoever. I am trying to get more into watching something beyond my own backgarden as far as languages/communications go. Obviously, it needs to have English subtitles or text of some kind though because there'd be no point to me watching it if I can't even understand it. I only speak/read English.

That's my lot for requirements and the dos and donts. You have free reign with everything else. Somebody please answer this post. 🙏

[jillmckenzie1]

We All Suck at Dating

A common lead question in the world of online dating is: “What are you looking for?”

Aside from being a grammatical nightmare, this question poses its own set of anxiety-ridden answers. Because how hard in the paint do you really go in response to this question when you’re on the third line of a burgeoning digital transaction? The words that your thumbs manage to string together will inevitably become the foundation for any further communication (or lack thereof).

Sidebar. Dude, didn’t you read my bio? It clearly states, “Looking for a real life human with whom to do rad things. Sucker for good teeth, nice calves, and witty banter. Here for the shirtless gym selfies (you guys, it’s a joke).” Seems pretty self-explanatory to me.

My typical response to the aforementioned question goes something like this: “Surely not looking to get laid off an app. And absolutely not interested in receiving dick pics. Would be great to find a real-life male with whom to do cool shit who also believes in hand-holding, ass-grabbing, Netflix binge-watching, and tag-team Whole Foods shopping.”

Once upon a time, I had a younger guy respond to this answer: “But does our age difference bother you?”

Cough. Cough. He clearly wasn’t aware of my subconscious bias towards younger men.

I replied, “Age is a number. Maturity is a barometer for compatibility. Why? Were you simply trying to send dick pics?”

*unmatch*

I’m sorry, WUT?! Respectable people say goodbye, or they’re not interested, or that they don’t find my humor to be as amusing as I do; they do not just act like [insert desired superlative here] and vanish into thin air (as if I wrote the book on this stuff or something).

Here’s the point. By all means, unmatch me. I don’t give any number of fucks about our premature termination of conversation. The guy I choose is going to choose me in return. He’s going to laugh at the fact that I attempt to turn him on by mentioning that I always return my shopping carts. He’s going to send me memes and screenshots of tiny houses. He’s going to share my affinity towards Mexican food and ask me for my LinkedIn profile instead of my SnapChat handle, and he’ll really mean it when he says that he’s not in search of a booty call.

At the end of the day, I have zero interest in entertaining a guilt-free ghoster. The issue here is the action. Because dammit, it’s hard enough out there. Can’t we all just play by some unstated rules that, at the very least, are governed by the premise of honesty?

I know. It’s asking a lot.

 But that brings me to my next point. About dating. We all suck at it. Yes, all of us. I’m actually quite amazed by how many of us seek to individually claim this title from every rooftop, blog post, and digital message warehouse. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I just don’t think there’s anything unique about it.

We. All. Suck.

A small bit of evidence exists in our mutual affection towards Netflix and chill. I’ve seen enough dating profiles in these last few years to make one overarching and absolutely assertive statement: when given the choice, we’ll all opt for a night spent on the couch in sweatpants eating ice cream with our dog over any nightclub and party scenario. Seriously, I have yet to encounter any male in the digital stratosphere who prefers the latter.

Because, in my humble opinion, no one wants to find his or her significant other in a bar. Absolutely not. For some, sure, the bar provides a perfect backdrop for the infamous one-night stand; I’m quasi-drunk and you’re quasi-cute (could be up for debate in the morning), so in the words of Marvin Gaye, “Let’s get it on.”

But a match–someone who challenges us and makes our lives a whole hell of a lot better (even on the worst days)–yeah, we’re not walking into any bars with the expectation of finding a soulmate.

And, despite our current aversion to commitment that is fueled by our unrelenting fear of missing out alongside our limitless access to infinite information and individuals, we do want a soulmate. Not because we believe in this antiquated ideology that only one person was made for us. No, millennials don’t walk into this world with the Shakespearian belief that compatibility is reserved for a single Romeo and his Juliet.

We more appropriately approach the definition of “soulmates” as two people who show up to participate in a revolutionized companionship. We are a generation that fully understands the power of choice, and we want to exercise this right romantically as much as we want to frequent farmer’s markets in lieu of spending our dollars at chain grocery stores. We believe in making ourselves whole, as individuals, in order to more powerfully stand beside someone who is doing the same. So, we choose ourselves as the catalyst to choose our other.

And yet, even inside of this space of a beautiful and raw and authentic desire to find a forever partner-in-crime, we’re still ghosting and we’re still sending dick pics. I’m sorry, rescind. We’re still sending dick videos. Yes, apparently, I graduated into some upper echelon of male debauchery.

Let me expand. A guy who I sparingly chatted with months ago decided to Snap me one lonely night in February (if you don’t know what “Snapping” is, keep it that way). I opened the video (which is the extent of my SnapChat proficiencies), and bam, hello, hi. My brain immediately hit overdrive as I considered throwing my phone 23 feet across the entirety of my Airstream.

I’m sorry, I haven’t spoken to you since November – neither did any previous conversation incite such ridiculous swapping of privates – and I’m now supposed to be the proud recipient of your amateur x-rated video?! Please, no. PLEASE NO.

Of course, I fired back something saucy (as if I’m going to save the world one indecent digital exposure at a time). And in the spirit of true chivalry (insert massive eyeroll here), he said that it was a mistake: “Wrong Stephanie.”

I actually can’t even (read: bull-fucking-shit).

But my potential diatribe inside an app that was literally designed to delete user history wouldn’t be saving anyone. My only hope at such a stage is the block feature because, at the end of the day, I simply don’t have time for this nonsense. Much like I don’t have time for the old flame (think college) who thought it was cute to slide into my DMs with questions about the kind of underwear I happened to be wearing. Or, the fact that exhibit B continues to patronize me with pet names (even after we established, months ago, that a romantic relationship between us would simply be settling).

Newsflash: y’all aren’t cute. YOU ALL ARE NOT CUTE.

And around we go, hiding behind our phone screens because we want the one (or at least one of the viable ones) to drop into our lives with the same level of excitement experienced by teenagers across America when Usher finally released his third studio album, 8701.

If you ask me, the going around is getting quite old. In fact, my motion sickness is at an all-time high. In the metaphor, I’m projectile vomiting out the back passenger-side window. Don’t ask me who’s driving. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I’m not puking alone.

Fact one. We’re drowning in our individual and collective nausea without any idea of how to stop the damn car. Or, at very least, slow it down. And we sure as hell don’t know where it’s going.

Fact two. Together, we are more powerful than the driver. But I’m not sure if we believe that (yet), and if we do believe it, I’m not sure that we know how to take control of the wheel (yet).

Because I would hate for us to resign ourselves to the fact that this whole dating thing is out of our control. I would hate for our desire of depth to become clouded by our habitual superficiality. I would hate for us to throw away our integrity in the name of conformity.

And I write this to us because I write this to myself. Plot twist, people. I, too, suck at dating. My judgment of those without an inkling of digital wit is embarrassingly high. It is standard issue for me to ghost anyone who resorts to asking me about my day within the first 24 hours of communication.

We just met. It’s fine. My day was fine. Am I supposed to tell you what I ate for lunch? Or about the conversation that I had with my mom? Or the hours I spent browsing Amazon for a new duvet cover?

Seriously, ask me anything else. And, please, I beg you, be funny. And charming (but not too charming). Our future depends on it.

Case in point. In a land far, far away, some guy asked me if I’d ever seen a movie titled La Strada. Clearly, not English. My answer was (and still is) no.

He wrote, “It’s foreign, so you have to be okay with subtitles.”

Well, no shit.

Me: “Great, I learned to read at a young age and quickly surpassed all of my peers, so this is promising.”

*crosses fingers and begs for a witty response*

His reply: “I like that answer. I need someone confident in what sets them apart.”

No dice.

*waves white flag*

I surrender. I absolutely surrender.

And by “surrender,” I mean that I simply fell off the face of the planet, never to associate with this poor guy (who probably had zero interest in sending a dick pic, let alone a dick video) ever again.

I just didn’t have it in me to push through in hopes of unearthing my very own Steve Carrell.

I’ll give you ten minutes. Make ‘em count. Effortlessly get me to laugh out loud, and I’ll strongly consider fraternizing as real-life people.

Hold up. Real. Life. People.

Yes, let’s be very clear, any digital union that transpires in human-to-human interaction is call for a good old-fashioned golf clap. Because it’s an anomaly by anyone’s standards.

So here we are. Together. Meandering through the airwaves and the land mines. Motion sick beyond measure. And I’d like to believe that we’re not helpless here, so my challenge is that we take control of the car. My challenge is that we align our actions and our words. Because there is nothing sexier than honesty. And honesty–honesty will save us. Also, humor. But mostly honesty.

We must be able to articulate for who or what we are looking. It is a common lead question because it is the question. It provides the foundation for action and expectation so, to revisit my initial commentary, we should go as hard in the paint as humanly possible (think Zion Williamson type shenanigans) in our responses. Because this answer allows us to proceed in a space where vulnerability is safe–whether we both swiped right in a sea of digital profiles or, quite literally, ran into each other in the singles line of our favorite chairlift.

You do not have to be in the search for serious. But you do owe the community your truth. The power is in your voice. And please, for the love of all things beautiful, let’s commit to considerate farewells that make “ghosting” so 2018 (as in, bye).

Speaking of bye and the singles line and chairlifts, I had to text my ex-boyfriend the other day to get back my second key fob for the entrance to my RV park

I refuse to pay the $20 for a replacement, okay. Judge me.

It had been nearly a month of not communicating, so you can surmise that it was a conversation that I’d been consciously avoiding. To be honest, I had stubbornly supported the idea that he should contact me first.

Obviously, unsuccessful.

So I spent hours typing and re-typing and then re-re-typing some ridiculous message that started with a Nugget update and ended with, “Oh yea, I need that key fob back.” I then spent hours deciphering and re-deciphering and then re-re-deciphering his response: “No problem. I’ll bring it to work and you can swing by one day and grab it when you’re done riding.” Please note, there is nothing cryptic here.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit nervous to, once again, look our honesty in the eye. Our ease had existed in our shared interest of doing the work. We had used our voices. And we both believed in the power of a considerate farewell. Also, laughing, there was lots of laughing.

For all intents and purposes, we were great. Apparently, our timing was not.

I’m reminding myself that, at the very least, this relationship taught me that there is hope for our collective whole to be better. It was the catalyst for me to shed an intense layer of distasteful cynicism. And for that, I can willingly embrace the uncomfortable.

It’s just two minutes. It’s just a key fob.

 Dating. It’s still a game of numbers. And we simply need to, in all of our honesty, keep showing up.

Together, we can stop the suck.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/we-all-suck-at-dating/