#its scary.... theres bills in there

[thatskindasapphic]

Checking my bank account is like a voluntary jumpscare

[emperorcartagia]

where is his emmy

[jinxfriend]

Introduction to my blog!

Info Speedrun! (★^_^★)

I go by mainly Jinx (I am sadly not an arcane fan) i'm thinking about going by Jamie too in the future,

Nonbinary, Aroace/Demiromantic, Mayhaps Polyamorous

Infp/Enfp

I MIGHT be neurodivergent

Reality shifter, I believe in Spirits/Ghosts and manifestation and have my own experiences with them,

i apologize to my non-shifter moots im definitely going to be reblogging stuff about it or make my own posts on it 😭

I am 16 so i apologize if i ever did interact with any nfsw blogs or blogs with 'Minors Dni' in them, feel free to unfollow me 🙏 /nm

My birthday is january 12!!

I’ve moved to tumblr from TikTok because of the ban (˶°ㅁ°) i’m still getting used to the features, culture, and etiquette so please be patient and educate me if i do anything annoying/wrong! ALSO my tiktok is oldcatsnbeetles, any moots from tiktok PLEASE MOOT ME HERE 🙏

I would love to make more moots on tumblr also! don’t be afraid to give me song or fic recs, ask questions about my interests or beliefs and just interact with general! i might not be able to explain reality shifting or manifestation well but i can definitely give you some good sources/blogs!

this will get updated regularly as the time pasts and my interests change ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

✶⋆.��꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Fandom List, i’ll probably add more as time goes on: Undertale, Deltarune, GRAVITYFALLS, Marvel (i know basically nothing about it but i love the fanfics) X-men (same thing as marvel) The owl house, Bob’s burgers, over the garden wall, steven universe, adventure time, smiling friends!! Big Top Burger, Good omens, the good place, the amazing digital circus, five nights at freddys and batman/dc stuff (same thing as marvel and x-men) the spiderverse movies, ouran highschool hostclub, dungeon meshi/delicious in dungeon, MY HERO ACADEMIA, assassination classroom, the disastrous life of saiki k, mob psycho, Dandadan i am aware of hazbin’s hotel’s existence

if its pink i adore it and its my entire personality, if its blue i know about it and probably watched it, if its green i only know fandom stuff/things in fics

Favorite characters:

My hero Academia: Shinso, Deku, Nezu,

Marvel/X-men idk: Spiderman (Specifically Tom Holland’s spiderman and Andrew Garfield’s Spiderman), Loki, Dr Strange, Deadpool, Wolverine

Gravityfalls: Waddles, Mabel and Dipper, that one guy that says ‘get em!! get em!!’ Bill Cipher, The Axolotal

Other: The Cheshire Cat, Garfield

Kins: Mabel and dipper, Vee from the owl house, Tina from bob’s burger, Papyrus and sans, Mob from mob psycho, Kinger from TADC, Spinel from Steven universe, Izuku midoriya, bmo from adventure time, UHH A BUNCH OF OTHERS

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Music Tastes, oh gosh this is going to be hard: Stereolab, Adrianne Lenker, Kimya dawson, I.C.P, Lemon demon, Strawberry Switchblade, Rob Zombie, Will Wood

Honorable Mentions: Toby Fox, S3RL, Alex G, Gorillaz, Ayesha Erotica, Boa, Liana Flores, Lady Gaga, Fiona Apple, Scary Bitches

Genres: Old 80s Rock, 2000s, Scene, Goth vampires music, Old 3ds game music (specifically animal crossing new leaf) theres probably alot more i can’t think of atm

Current Favorite Song: Dead Girl Superstar by rob zombie

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Games: Obscure 3ds and xbox games, animal crossing new leaf AND I GUESS new horizons, Tomodachi life #TomodachiLifeForSwitch, Miitopia, Pikmin, Wobble Dogs, Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Slime Rancher, Ooblets, Bugsnax, Spiritfarer, Terraria, Cult of the lamb, Cattails, Omori, Viva Piñata

If its Pink i’ve been playing it for all my life or i just really adore that game, If its blue i’ve played it briefly/And or completed it, if its green ive played it once or only know fandom stuff about it

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Other interests

Bugs, Aliens, Expensive Etsy Keychains/Stickers, Art, Louis Wein Cats, Fashion, Cats in general, Colorful stuff, Rainbows, Sparkles

Aesthetics/Fashion: Scene, Kidcore/Clowncore, Twee

Reality Shifting Stuff:

My drs currently are: Mha dr thats also mixed with marvel, dc, x-men and a bunch of other stuff, and an alternate version of that dr where im a vigilante :D,

My drs also have soulmate elements and a bunch of other stuff

I definitely will make an introduction post for each dr!

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

DNI:

Basic Dni, Proshippers of any kind, Race Changers, Anti-Shifters, Mabel, Bakugo, and Ochako haters, people who don’t support Palestine, Terfs, Homophobic and transphobic people, AI ART DEFENDERS/USERS

INTERACT:

Reality Shifters, People who like my interests / Music tastes, Non-Shifters who don’t care and are respectful, Gay people,

MOOT ME UP RN:

Mha Shifters, Gravityfall shifters, Furrys, Therians, Kemonomimi people, People who believe in manifestation, Witchs, Pagens, Spiritual People, People who practice Hellenism, Neurodivergent people, Artists, Boring People, Weird/Nerdy/Cringe People, People who want to be teachers in the future/want to work with children/teens, cat lovers, FANFIC READERS🔥🔥

This is a safe space for systems!!

i don’t know much about DID besides the basics, but i do have some friends/moots who have it!

✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶

Tags:

Shifting Related:

#Vigilante Mha/Marvel dr

anything that i post/reblog about my vigilante dr, my dr also includes dc, xmen, danny phantom etc

#Hero Mha/Marvel dr

same world as my vigilante dr but im a hero and have a different path in life! this was actually the original version and my vigilante dr was an alternate universe of this dr, but i became more focused on my vigilante dr so ill probably talk about that one more!

#Gravityfalls Dr

anything i post about my gravityfalls dr! this dr also includes, danny phantom, the owl house, inside job, UHH star vs the forces of evil, and more! im still figuring things out for this dr so i probably won’t post about it until im certain in my pondering

#shifting/spirituality ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

shifting reposts, motivation, memes etc, tarot, witchcraft, manifestation and more

#mine or other people’s mha drs

#this reminds me of my dr

Other/Misc:

#i heart gravityfall / mha / marvel / xmen / dc

any reblog of that media, i might forget to tag my reblogs sometimes woopsies

#helpful advice ᯓ★ / Tumblr Help

just anything i think would be helpful, there some shifting advice in here too

#HI MOOT/MOOTIE ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

i usually tag this on my friends/close moots posts when i reblog them! i might sometimes forget to or forget ur my moot so apologies in advance 😭

#pretty pictures (ᵒ̤̑ ₀̑ ᵒ̤̑)

aesthetic stuff, comics, art, etc also idk why the kaomoji is messed up on the computer 💔

#i agree

this is usually on posts that make an argument, is a ‘hot topic’ or opinion i agree with

#so me coded

#random polls

#this is so cool?!

theres probably more i used but these are the main ones!

Links:

some will be added in the future!

ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ • *✰ ty for reading!!

[d0wn-in-the-morgue]

can i just say, world behind my wall by tokio hotel needs more appreciation. this song has permanantly altered my brain chemistry. it has shifted my view on the world. it has left a mark on my heart that will never go away. this song is genuinely one of the most beautiful songs ever written and lowkey my favourite tokio hotel song. (apart from thema nummer eins ofc) i fucking love world behind my wall so fucking much. if i EVER got the chance to see tokio hotel live and they played THIS???? i think id piss my pants, faint, wake up, cry and probably bust a nut all at once. this song has honestly saved my life. everytime im sad, everytime i wanna give up, everytime i feel like i hate the world i stream world behind my wall and i instantly feel better. the theme of being scared to go into the future/real world and constantly hiding behind a wall of defense youve made for yourself resonates with me so hard its almost scary. i genuinely think this is my song. its healing. its when the world is finally starting to look okay. its finding beauty in things you never saw beauty in. the high notes after the 2nd bridge will forever live in my head rent free, theyre so perfect. how the fuck does bill manage to absolutely EATTTT every note in that song. the opening of the song whether tom plays it on guitar or piano is so perfectly written. the "woah oh woah" in the chorus feels like the ending to a cheesy kids movie but in the best way possible. nothing could be better in this song. it needs 0 improvements. its the perfect song. i lowkey love the humanoid version better, something about hearing the english lyrics and not having to think "oh i forgot what this part means" and just having bill directly say it feels so nice. also i think the chorus just sounds better in the humanoid version. normally i hate the english covers but theres just something about this one. but then again humanoid came out before lass uns laufen anway so...

please, for the love of fucking god, stream this damn song.

[self-loving-vampire]

theres this cohort of transfems that overlaps with the tma/tme discourse who seem to spend all their time reinforcing an intense doomerism and fear of the world that feels very maladaptive to me. its very demoralizing to watch

I think they're definitely sympathetic in that regard, though. If you look through the tag I linked there has definitely been a major reactionary backlash in multiple countries that are increasingly trying to legislate trans people (and GNC people, and others) out of public life entirely. There was even a proposed bill that would have made going out while trans into "obscenity".

I think that's definitely worth being aware of and talking about. I'd just do it with different language and a different framing. To me, the main things to be critical of here are:

1- Essentialist assumptions about gender based on oppositional sexism. The idea that men are inherently one way and women are inherently another way and there can be no overlap, no third categories, no understanding, etc.

These ideas are unfortunately extremely ingrained even in queer people.

2- Cissexist social norms that treat being trans as inherently undesirable. We see this in things like medical gatekeeping that treats letting people transition as a last resort or a failure state. Something to try only after all efforts to make someone cis have failed, if that.

3- General obstacles to bodily autonomy. The idea that you should be able to do what you want with your own body is still considered extreme, especially if you have any kind of disability. People just assume they know what you want better than you do and so they must control your life and your body. I have also mentioned before that trans rights are tied to abortion, disability rights, and more. Attacks on one are often recycled to attack the others.

4- The efforts of specific far-right groups like Alliance Defending Freedom and the Heritage Foundation. A lot of the recent attacks on trans rights (both legal and social) have links to the same handful of wealthy christian conservative organizations, and they also cooperate with transphobic governments abroad.

...And lots of other things.

So there's clearly a lot of substantial barriers to trans rights there, and I think that's important to understand at least on a basic level even if it's scary or depressing. Without that knowledge it is much more difficult to change anything, or even make personal plans about how to navigate the situation.

There's also good news, of course. A lot of the conservative attacks in the US specifically are unpopular and failing, there's legal challenges on the way regarding the recent situation in the UK, various anti-trans groups involved in crafting this legislation have been officially designated as hate groups, and generally as trans people have become a normal part of people's lives acceptance has somewhat increased even if panic among the right also has.

But there's still dangers to be aware of and prepared for, and the hate has been so overt and extreme since forever that it's hard to blame people for being so wary. Like, I am someone who had to become an international refugee because of transphobia so I know it can really be a sort of nightmare situation. I only survived it by making precise plans and deceiving dangerous people.

[afuckingsystemsthoughts]

im all for protecting the privacy of minors including their personal data. im all for not allowing the ads for alcohol, nicotine, etc where minors can see. im all for keeping social media safer for minors. but do you know what im not for? censoring safe spaces abused minors can have access to just because its "inappropriate for minors." thats not protecting our kids. abuse is an isolating thing- even if your parents didnt abuse you and someone else did, its still scary for a kid to tell their parents for so many reasons. theyd rather tell someone who has been there, or just have the freedom to anonymously talk about it. i fear kosa may take that from kids. theres also kids ive met online who, ironically arent allowed on the internet- theyre being severely abused (not going to go into detail bc its triggering and for their privacy) and sneak devices their parents dont know about just to seek help. if kosa passes, im scared these kids will lose their lifelines in times of trauma. abuse should never happen to a kid but just because its a taboo subject doesnt mean kids shouldn't be aware of the signs someone they see or know is being abused (it could save a life) or not be allowed to talk online in a safe space about the abuse they suffer or suffered. this bill might also take ptsd/did/osdd resources from kids who arent allowed to get mental help. we need to keep safe spaces for mental health and abuse survivors who are minors and if anyone responsible for kosa sees this, please change the bill to allow safe spaces for abused minors including mental health information.

still all in all, kosa is pretty scary lets hope it doesnt pass

[thealmightyemprex]

Halloweenaton :Interview with the Vampire

sooooooo......This is a film I have techinacallly seen 99% of before.....But I never saw the ending till last night ,and it had been long enough that this counts as a first watch .I watched this with @themousefromfantasyland @ariel-seagull-wings and @the-blue-fairie,so thanks buddies for watching Interview with the Vampire with me

In this 1994 film Daniel Malloy (Christain Slater ) is interviewing Louis (Brad Pitt ),who claims to be a vampire who tells his life story ,specifically how he was turned by Lestat (Tom Cruise ) and how they raise a vampire daughter Claudia (Kirsten Dunst )

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo theres alot to like in this movie.....And stuff to criticize .Full disclosure ,I dont know how this fares as an adaptation ,Ive only read part of the book a long time ago .First things first.....This is not a scary movie,that is not the intention of the film at all .There are horrific and disturbing elements ,but this films not trying to frighten you,this is taking a horror concept and examning it ,specifically the idea of the vampire .I still call the film horror ,but I feel horror can be many things not just "Is this scary " and the question should be not does this fit an arbitrary genre ,the question should be of any film is it a good movie .....And it mostly is .I love the concept of the film ,examining what it is to be a predatory immortsal being ,thew solitudethe guilt,thats all good stuff .I adore the queer themes ,even though due to star ego and the time period they werent alowed to really delve into them ,they still come through (Louis and Lestat ARE a couple .....A very dysfunctional one but a couple ).AEsthetically the film is gorgeously shot and costumed ,the film has a great vibe .Im not a Tom Cruise fan but I love his performance as Lestat ,he is gleefully malevolent but at the same time has an affection for Louie and Claudia and hey what other film will you see super star Tom Cruise dancing with a corpse or pouring rats blood into a wine glass ,he isa highlight of the film .Christain Slater is solid as the interviewer ,and Stephen Rea brings a hammy flare to the theatrical antagonistic Santiago .Antonio Banderas is not at his best here but is very good as alluring Armand .The scene stealer is Kirsten Dunst as Claudia who examines a very haunting idea,what it is to be a vampire child ....In that she is DECADES old but stuck as a child .ITs a great performance and Claudia as a character is both monstrus yet heart breaking and her final scene is haunting .

And let get to what doesnt work.......The first hour is better then the second .Yeah despite being top billed ....Tom Cruise is mainly in the first hour of the film and when he leaves the film....It gets dulll.Now the second hour isnt BAD there are some amazing scenes,but other then those high notes I felt a little bored .....And there is a very weak element to the film.....Brad Pitt as Louis .Now Louis himself is not a bad character ,a tormented figure full of pain,guilt and regret ......But Brad Pitt might as well be a brick wall .I think the film couldve been great if someone who could really bring out Louis pain and loss played the part

That said ,its a unique mostly good movie that everyone should check out ,for Dunst and Cruises performances at least and the vampire vibes alone

@countesspetofi @amalthea9 @princesssarisa

@filmcityworld1 @barbossas-wench @theancientvaleofsoulmaking

[communistmarktemple]

watched the all of the hatchetfield series recently and had things to say about the way pokotho was handled in the last episode of nightmare time. dunno how much ppl on tumblr care about this but figured i'd post anyway

spoilers for the guy who didn't like musicals and nightmare time 2 episode 4: yellow jacket; slight spoilers for nerdy prudes must die.

in tgwdlm pokotho is established to take over people but like, theyre still individuals. and his goal there seems to be making everyone united and happy. and singing. the singing is an important part of it.

but then in yellow jacket hes like… deep voiced sadistic completely takes over peoples minds and leaves them blank shells. and is said to "want everyone dead except him" which directly contradicts like. everything about what made tgwdlm interesting.

bc theres this question the whole musical of like. what about what theyre singing is them and whats the hivemind. so like. to say he just wants it to all be his own voice completely removes that intrigue. and also directly contradicts what tgwdlm says about it "on some level theyre individuals but on a larger level theyre limbs of a single organism" but if theyre all just pokey then no, theyre not individuals.

also like. "what do you want paul" makes NO sense if thats just pokey speaking. why… why would he talk about mr. davidson's wife choking him out. thats what mr davidson genuinely wants. it doesnt even make sense as a manipulation tactic like you could argue for the other songs because like. it actively makes paul run away. theres nothing about mr davidson's want that would make paul want to join the apotheosis.

like "not your seed" is WAY more interesting if those are alice's actual feelings (and all those feelings track with the way she acts in watcherworld!!) but if you want to say its just a manipulation tactic that still tracks. making bill think its his fault that alice is gone would make him more likely to be willing to join. same with "you tied up my heart" and "inevitable" but like. WHY is pokey telling paul mr davidson's kink. what the fuck does that have to do with anything. mr davidson clearly has some level of control still

and like obviously the lords in black being applied to tgwdlm is a retcon so theres gonna be some stuff that doesnt 100% track but like. pokotho wanting everything to just be him literally ruins the climax of the show. "let it out" is compelling bc like. it isnt clear whether or not paul genuinely does like musicals or not. like.

"I’ve never been happy Wouldn’t that be nice? Is this the secret? Singing and dancing through life? Is my integrity worth anything at all? But happiness can’t come before its fall Am I crazy? Maybe I’ve always been I've become what I’ve hated? Or maybe I never did It’s awful freeing now To share the hate I felt But what will I let in if I Let it out?"

LIKE. is paul's conflict here bc he genuinely cant decide if he should want to join the apotheosis? or is it 100% the infection? he wants to be happy. maybe this is the way to be happy. HE KNEW THE WORDS TO MOANA. HE SAYS HE DOESNT LIKE IT BUT HE KNEW ALL THE WORDS. his actor explicitly points out that paul knew all the words. hello. maybe he never hated musicals. maybe he did. but making pokotho just be this mindless evil "subsume all voices except my own" type answers that question. nah it was just the infection. and also the goal of apotheosis wasnt to unite the world and make everyone happy it was just to kill everything that isnt pokotho.

like. thats so boring. why the fuck would you do that. its so much more interesting to have pokey genuinely think hes helping everyone by uniting people through song. like why the FUCK didnt otho sing??? why is he just. deep scary voice?????? he should be sing songy stepford smiler.

when spitfire got possesed she shouldnt have become a zombie it shouldve been like. :) han-nah. :) :) this is better han-nah. :) :) you should join us too han-nah. :) (: :) (:.

why is pokotho's mask like OoO it should be like (okay this was originally said on discord and i used a custom emoji of device_friend from deltarune here) thats way fucking scarier. its way scarier to have your friend go from crying and screaming to turning to you and smiling than it is to have them just. slump over.

i feel like they literally forgot what make tgwdlm scary?? they literally forgot to think about the implications.

like i dunno maybe you can say that that behvior was just otho and not pokotho. like in nerdy prudes must die pokey was defintely more gleeful. but we didnt get to fucking SEE barely any of him. why would you not give us more pokey. the villain of your first musical? hello?? i get making wiggly the main guy bc hes who the audience knows but like. ugh.

webby says he wants everyone whos not him dead. and maybe shes just being more negative about him bc like. hes against her. but like. the way the othos worked seems to be retconning how the possession works.

and man is that boring.

[sphylor]

hi :)) I'm going to be finding a houseshare in a few months and it's lowkey stressing me. I think I saw you say you live with housemates so would you be able to talk about the process of getting a house share and like how bills work if you're sharing with strangers and stuff please? Thank you! (feel free to ignore if you don't feel comfy, I understand!)

im sorry youre stressing out 🫂🫂 it can be a really scary and stressful thing to live with strangers in a new place but i can absolutely try and help!! (sorry it got so long its all under the cut)

i can only really talk about my experience with it but if you go online and type in "house shares in [your area]" you'll probably get a few different sites come up with listings that you can go through. they'll normally have pictures of the room and any other communal spaces and the building itself. they'll also list things like how many people there are living there already and whether the landlord lives in the house too (can be a good thing as they'll probably get around to any problems way faster than if they lived elsewhere) the genders of the people living there (some places will list only male/females) and other stuff like utilities etc etc. they'll either list the rent per week or per month so watch out for that and whether bills are included in this varies (mine are included luckily) but most of the time things like water, electricity, gas are included and then maybe the wifi is added on as an extra payment. they will also say what the deposit is and the minimum/maximum stay time. once youve found a place that looks good actually contacting the landlord is easy. they will have ways of contacting them listed and so you just need to phone or text or email saying that youre interested in the room and is it okay if you could book a viewing. they'll show you around and ask you about yourself and this is your opportunity to ask any questions that you might have to. (also check for mould especially when looking in the bathrooms trust me you dont want to live where theres mould.) but just be friendly and polite and try not to worry too much. theyre trying to sell You something they want Your money after all so theyre probably going to be trying to impress you more than you'll be trying to impress them. it doesnt hurt to mention that you have a few other viewings booked if the opportunity to comes up (even if you dont). also dont be afraid to tell them if you are no longer interested afterwards for whatever reason its important to communicate that. when it comes to actually living with strangers it depends how it goes gndhfnhd i dont really talk to the other people i live with and just keep to myself. it can be annoying when people dont clean up after themselves or are noisy late at night or have other bad habits so you have to be prepared to deal with those things but most places will have a groupchat of some sort that you can bring issues up in if they keep happening. it does take a while to get used to living with people you dont know and it can be annoying to not have a bathroom or kitchen to yourself but its definitely a lot more affordable than renting a studio apartment or small flat and isnt the worst thing in the world. i wish you luck on your search and i hope i helped a bit fhshhf if you have any more questions please feel free to shoot me another ask or even a dm if your comfortable with that.

[fagdykemuppet]

im not really sure how to make posts like this, but here's a resource on fighting back senate bill 83 in ohio. its a bill thats aiming to ban any sort of education on "controversial topics", including climate change, abortion, any type of diversity, amongst others. it also bans mandatory DEI (diversity, equity, & inclusion) training, academic partnerships with china, and amongst other things. this is very scary as a trans person, but its much more than the banning of being queer in school, its the banning of being any sort of minority and more. the site explains it much better than i ever could. if youre not in ohio and/or cannot testify, theres options to email and call legislation and also flyers you can download to help spread the information.

[sillysymbol]

hi yoire The tmbg fan so i have a question....how do i tell the difference in the johns voices . ive been listening to tmbg for most of my life but by god i cannot tell who is singing. im not good at identifying voices either way but i want to try and figure it out for them...do you have advjce here .

- tmbg fan

AH!!!! honestly after having an almost year long fixation (it becomes one year this month oh that is SCARY) its just kinda? easy for me? linnell pronounces stuff weird (the song underwater woman and various live versions of songs come to mind) and usually has a deeper singing voice than flans . i think flans can go really high sometimes (like in she was a hotel detective and how does the sun shine) its kinda harder on the older albums though. i used to think 32 footsteps was sung by flans and absolutely bills mood were sung by linnell o_O and sometimes theres just vocal harmonies like in sapphire bullets or snail shell. its alot of trial and error and checking TMBW...also i think having a fixation and constantly listening to tmbg helps. but thats just what i do!

[g1gglee-rxccoon]

I dare you to infodump about your favorite topic

Infodump:

IT (2017 ver)

First. The gang.

PATRICK HOCKSTETTER. HOT, HOT AND MEAN VERY HOT VERY MEAN

HENRY BOWERS. acts like my oldest brother also bitch and also very upsetti

IT

This clown bitch is so interesting yet so boring at the same time

Like dude you live in a sewer with kids you eat???

Losers!!

Bill- HES A LITTLE GUY ALSO HE'S LIKE A LITLE KID LIKE HES SO PLANNED OUT AND COOL AND LIKE NOOOO GEORGIE!! WE GOTTA FIND HIM GUYS :((

Beverly- HOT. pretty. aAaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ben- hes so smart wtf

Eddie- FAVOURITE GERMAPHOBE EVER

Mike- he's a little guy :)

Richie- annoying chaotic little shit ishfh

Stanley- HIS FATHER SUCKS BALLS.

(Same applies to beverly's father)

AND TO SUMMARISE IT BASICALLY GEORGIE AKA BILLS BROTHER GETS EATEN BY PENNYWISE AND BILL IS LIKE HES IN THE BARRENS!!! AND THE OTHERS ARE LIKE ITS NOT WORTH IT BUT THEY PLAY IN PISS AND SHIT SEWER WATER AND OUT COMES BEN, "THIS GUY'S LEAKING HAMBURGER HELPER!" RICHIE SAID AND THEN HES LIJE GET IN THERE DOCTOR K😼

AND THEN THEY STEAL STUFF AND YEAH AND LIKE OH SHIT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SHIT GETS FUCKED UO AND THERES A ROCK FIGHT

"GO BLOW YOUR DAD YOU MULLET WEARING ASSHOLE"

ITS JUST SO GOOD AND FUNNY AND ALSO A LITTLE SCARY AT THE SAME TJME AND THEN LIKE IT GETS REVEALED IN THE SECOND MOVIE BUT RICHIE IS IN FUCKING LOVE WOTH EDDIE AND ITS JUST. AAAAAAAAAA

[time22kill]

GUESS WHAT. i made dndadstuck plot points

- glenn convinces everyone to play sburb. (< later revealed to be influenced by future glenn, who goes back to create a loop so they can reboot the game.)

- as a stand in for the ring of life, glenn alchemizes the Blunt Of Life. smoking this huge fucking blunt brings someone back to life

- game itself has to be rebooted bc bill, using the ring of void from the black queen, casts ron off to the furthest ring to prevent him from god tiering (god tier rogues of space r actually . Pretty powerful nerd emoji) n without ron, theres a Thing they cant do . this thing will be figured out LATERRRR

- they do end up rebooting, but a version of ron is still stuck in the furthest ring .

- the reboot merges sessions between the dads and kiddads !! Yayy!!

- game stuff happens this part i still need to work on but grant has to scratch the game, but to do this he has to fight an alternate timeline version of darryl guarding it. he does scratch the game though!! had to kill his own dad though. angst points

- MORE GAME STUFF i hate sburb mechanics dont make me think of this shit . scratch brings in the teens .

- taylor has the blunt of life (glenn gave it to nick to guard and taylor stole it). barry convinces scary to steal it to bring back willy (whos claimed to be dead) so they can beat the game. she does that!! and now willy is here (who is like . lord english slash doc scratch stand in. house outside of canon included its all purple its like a purple bass pro shop)

- i will figure this out Later but . willy, using the bills ring of void), casts lark off to the furthest ring. lark was trying to reach ultimate form n willy knew that meant he could rewrite the narrative, so he sent him off. yayyy!!

is this the actual homestuck plot? No. does it follow the mechanics? Not entirely! but i do not give a Care its fine we have fun here

[gabapentinblues]

journal update 2.11.2025 tw; ed, sh, substances

woke up feeling okay, i woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't fall back to sleep right away but eventually i did.

there was a new youtube video i was excited to watch so i got out of bed right away to watch it while i made a smoothie and drank coffee.

my piercings all seem to be bothering me so much rn, well at least my snug, which is swelling a lot and then bleeding and scabbing in my sleep which is awful, and my snake bites. the hoops are just too big, theres too much movement and rubbing and theyre irritated af. its annoying.

its also cold af outside, i could move more of my things inside but its honestly way too cold for me to want to do that ugh. i brought one thing inside when i went out to the garage to get a sparkling water.

decided im really restarting my efforts to lose weight. i looked in the mirror today and its like i barely recognize myself. i want to find comfort in starving again, not just bingeing. i swear ive been binge eating to purposely trigger myself and make myself more depressed its insane. i feel like demi moore in the substance, like i wake up and im like whyyyyy am i doing this to myself, just so angry. then of course that fuels the cycle for me to do it all again.

anyway i want to break that cycle. i want to lose weight. i want to put my room and my life back together, confront the things ive been avoiding, and stop feeling like im hiding from my own life. i dont have group therapy anymore, i need to get connected with another therapist and maybe a support group and just really try to do better for myself.

its just a matter of trying to show up every day. im still incredibly depressed, every effort feels immense but im trying to make the effort anyway. the difference is simply that between trying and not trying.

i took a shower, i ate some fresh fruit, now im having a sparkling water, i already know what i'll have for dinner, now i just need to decide what im going to allow myself for snacks, i want to be smart and realistic.

i went thru my blog and added a lot to my queue, looked back at old posts to try and motivate myself. 2021-22 was probably when i was most disordered, i wanna get back to that.

deciding what i want to do now, its really too cold to go anywhere or do anything that involves going outside. mayyyyyyybbbeeeeee i'll take a walk but probably not. i could gratitude journal, start a motivation/inspo journal for myself and write out some rules and goals and lists and mantras. i could work on my art. write to do lists for myself. stay on this stupid website lol. read fanfiction. there are some to do's i want to get to eventually.

take care of my medical bills, pick up my prescriptions, cash a check and get my bank account settled, get gas, buy myself olaplex shampoo and conditioner, pick up my last check from work and cash that too, reactivate my planet fitness membership and start going, make sure my address is updated for taxes and other important things. some of these things feel really time sensitive and they stress me out and make me wanna binge and sleep.

i want to organize my space and sell the things i dont want anymore online and i'll need to figure out the logistics of that.

it was four months ago today that i got diagnosed with bpd and i feel like im still processing that. i just feel so alone in it and i wish there were more people i could talk to.

think im gonna let myself have chips and salsa as a snack, and maybe something else, i feel like i'll want one other thing and i dont wanna binge so i'd rather allow myself to have something. i want my intentions and my actions to be in harmony.

kind of want to watch a scary movie, kind of want to talk to my friends, i wish i had somewhere to go or someone to see. instead im just alone getting high, i ate four pieces of mushroom chocolate, the last of what i had, and have been hitting my dab pen. i dont like to seem like all ive been doing is getting high all day though when everyone gets home.

idk i just feel so alone.

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

the fact that jacksepticeye is now 35 is wild to me. happy borth

might be going to court cause i havent paid rent yet (my acct is overdrafted and it wont let me pay)

i think my debit card is compromised (its locked for now) but i have to make a phone call to my bank to see what i need to do about it

i made that lil tf2 piece with all the mercs heads into a sticker sheet and i already sold 2 this week which is cool. packed orders today (i had 4 orders) which leaves me with 12 bucks to go towards gas which is epic

ive been still recovering from sickness this entire week and i have a cough thats not going away which is scary cause i do not have health insurance in case it infects my lungs (i am getting better day by day but im still concerned)

i love my new job!!!!!!!!!! its fucking exhausting tho

been so fucking busy this week its not even funny. work then family stuff then i come home and go to bed at 7 pm hopefully next week will be not so wild

my spotify premium payment was declined and idk what im gonna do cause i literally use it every goddamn day.

adobe payment also declined so i cant work on my video anymore until i can get money to pay for it which is depressing but i may be homeless/couch surfing in the near future if my landlady kicks me out so thats the least of my concerns

i am going to try to sell my entire bead collection + supplies for $350 which is a high price but theres a LOT of fucking beads with a $1000 value so i think its fair? im willing to go down to $300 which is why i kinda overshot the price. will be listing today on marketplace and i will be praying it sells bc $300 would be so immensely helpful

started my period today which is nice cause im not working weekends anymore so i can take it easy while i Suffer

im really scared im going to become homeless or get jail time because of missed payments on my bills and its very stressful and i am completely out of ideas so i think im just fucked. if push comes to shove i can maybe move in with a family member like my great aunt or either of my grandmas and i am employed at the very least so i am willing to help with bills and food if they take me in. i was kinda hoping i could get in with a house with my cousins and we can all live together when my lease is up but none of us have any money so i dont think thats happening despite their optimism. im trying as hard as i possibly can but my parents refuse to help me and no one around me can help cause everyone is fucking Broke in this goddamn economy so i think im fucked. will update if i lose housing

i need a shower

[lostandfoundvocaltrax2005]

August 23rd. Evening, at the time of writing.

once again ive made another impulse travelling decision (i keep thinking decision has another "e" in it). i mean, going up to Oregon, this early in my school year.. might be a dumb idea. i don't know, i'm worried about feeling awkward it taking too long or just generally being a dumb idea? like, if i was just going up to visit the pines twins who're actually my age, maybe it wouldn't be so weird. but no. i'm going up there because Ford drunkenly asked me, over grumblr, to catch a bus ride up there. and well, who am i to let down the hopes of an old man? if anything, it might be fun giving his brother a heart attack. assuming Ford doesn't tell anyone else.

i'm also nervous because i've had this mindset about never going back to places i've been to on cases-- and no, Death City doesn't count. my visit was for the sake of training, and while i might've been under a code name, i wasn't gathering intel on anyone. didn't count.

and also Ford is engaged. good for him, but someone my age visiting someone his age when you're not related is… well, i feel kind of weird doing it. something about this feels immoral. that and what the hell am i even gonna do up there? go out for coffee? fuck! i haven't planned this at all! i've barely planned out what i'm gonna bring! i've packed normal essentials because its simple and my shadow plush, but beyond that? i don't know! do i bring a swimsuit? hiking boots? a gun? a taser?

..i think by now i must sound like a broken record, but its equal parts refreshing and surreal to have something as mundane as this be the reason i'm pulling out my hair. i mean, i don't like this is making me stress out so much, but i'd take this over casework any day of the year. but i really need to start actually using my brain again. theres only so much i can blame on brain damage.

if anything this'll be a nice trip to catch up on some stuff and get out of this fucking heat, oh my god. i'm not going to say i regret moving here, because i love being so close to the people i love, but oh my god. oh my GOD. i will say joining the cheersquad was probably a stupid idea because most days as of late i feel like my skin is about to melt off burn off do SOMETHING relating to heat and something stopstop STOP.

oh my god nevermind this was such a bad idea i cant even handle simple words on a page im going to fucking die ..okay um. its been about ten minutes. i left my room and got something to drink and said hi to Buck, so i feel a little better now. i think i need to start seeing a therapist again, that was embarrassing. anyways, um, i'm worried going back might trigger something like.. well, what just happened. but i think it'll be okay? because the only really traumatizing upsetting scary weird thing that happened was Bill doing.. that. it'll be fine, right? right. stop thinking about it.