#its reasonable for them to not eat that but my friend feels rather strongly about not wasting it. whatever

[californiaquail]

miss thang still had some hay left this morning from last night due to being picky and as this is not allowed according to the powers that be i left her for a few more minutes to see if she would eat it. then as i was walking by she did a little hungry chuckle at me and i looked to see if she had eaten the hay and in fact she had peed directly on top of it as she had now figured out if it's pissed on she doesn't have to eat it. and it worked here she is with her diabolically obtained breakfast

[serknighted]

Danse & Hancock's parallels are eating my sanity slowly so by God I will write them here

So. Usually incredibly shy about posting my feelings about characters and my interpretations of them, but I don't think I can sit idly by without addressing 1. how much I love this post about Danse and how his story ties back to the isolation and loneliness of autism, and 2. how much I need more content between Hancock & Danse to exist, because my god sometimes I forget they hate each other in-game. (I strongly suggest you read the post mentioned & linked, they do a fantastic job framing Danse in a way I don't think I could fully articulate)

Danse & Hancock both have stories filled with themes of intense loneliness. Despite their hard work, effort, and prowess in the things they love, it doesn't take good sight to realize that neither of them are very well liked. It's not that they aren't respected, but whether it's Danse's all-too-formal approach to speaking, or Hancock's combination of hard drug use & almost constant overbearing presence (on top of years of slander from bigger cities, but we'll get into that), people see them as a tool of success and a good asset to have around, but not much of a friend, so to speak. Especially in Hancock's case, many people he is overly-affectionate with are often more annoyed by his presence than anything else (even if they do like him).

For Hancock, despite how much he claims to not relate to the isolation of the common ghoul, he's likely over-exaggerating his charisma in an effort to make himself more easily approachable, mostly for his own peace of mind rather than for others. While he sounds quite passive about things many others would react strongly to, I feel it's a combination of him having replaced a layer of how he truly feels with an element of sass on top of the drug use that makes all the trauma more easily bearable (to mixed effect).

One of his lines that has always struck me as conflicting with how he portrays himself is a common generic line he has while traveling with Sole Survivor, praising them for "living out the day" when most others could not. Hancock has seen so many people die to the brutal hands of the Commonwealth; whether it be Vic and his boys gunning down innocent drifters, seeing people succumb to the elements, or, in this case, simply not surviving their travels with him, Hancock seems to have a track record of never properly establishing proper bonds with others before they either die, or decide he's too overbearing to deal with further. He's one of those characters who desperately wants to have a deeper connection with those he loves, but he has consistently lost the chance to do so before he was ever ready, and so he chooses to fill the void with meaningless sexual relationships and one-night stands- anything to make him temporarily forget how much he hates himself and his almost comical lack of social understanding. It's a train of thought that I, as an autistic person, can really understand and relate to-- the desire to know people, but always feeling like no matter how you portrayed yourself, no one seems to want to be around you if you don't provide them with what they desire. It's caused him to deeply undervalue both how much he's done for people (since he believes its expected of him to constantly bend over backwards for the needs of others), and himself, all at the same time.

I don't think Danse fully recognizes how lonely he feels, a lot. He's been so heavily indoctrinated by the Brotherhood of Steel into believing that this is how he should be treated, that his work is for the betterment of humanity, that his sacrifice is a necessary one. The way he speaks almost carelessly about late brothers and sisters in arms makes me think really hard about how rooted this idea of only existing for the "greater good" is. Individuality is questionable & almost taboo, being different is outright abominable. It's the reason why the rhetoric of "Us vs. Them" works-- the BoS as a collective believe that they are doing good for all of humanity, and any outlier to that "perfect" formula is a threat not only to the BoS, but to everything they know. Danse is expected to bend over backwards for people, and no longer questions his loneliness or isolation, as he has all but given up his sense of self for what he believes is right. Another thing that I and many of my autistic friends relate to; a sense of justice so strong that it's overpowering. Like us, Danse is willing to sacrifice anything to do what's right... including himself.

Knowing this, it's easy to understand why he hates Hancock, and that backwards mindset is the reason Hancock hates him. It's an especially vicious cycle that constantly feeds into itself if unchecked, and Hancock knows that he alone cannot convince Danse to break that cycle. Hancock knows he can't beat Danse in a fight; all he has are his words, and logic is useless against an enemy that heeds to no truths. Even after Danse discovers his true nature... you can't expect him to unravel the years of constant reassurance that what he was taught was right in a single night. "Rome wasn't built in a day," and no one gets over their trauma so quickly, either. It's traumatic to have an explanation as to why people hate you. A catch-all reason to people's fear and distaste to you, that is also something you can never, ever change. Danse would sooner hate himself for what he is than accept those he used to murder without a second thought. It's the difficult reality of anyone attempting to unlearn painful conservative narratives; the shame & guilt of hurting others that are more similar to you than you ever wanted to know is sometimes more painful than realizing what you really are.

Hancock, albeit not even close to "recovered" from his mental woes, is much further along the path of acceptance to Danse, but not far enough away that he wouldn't understand where Danse is coming from. For so long, he sat idly by and watched people get hurt, even during his time in Diamond City. The constant conditioning to accept other people's pain as long as it wasn't happening to you still eats at his consciousness; just like Danse, he knows it was wrong to accept it, but the guilt makes it harder to deal with. He, of all people, would understand what it feels like to try so, so hard to fit in, to be normal and accepted, but never quite hit the mark of understanding where he fits in society. That's the reason he is the way he is now; his signature, his "Hancock," is to be as loud and out-of-place as possible-- a constant rebellion against what people expect him to be, a rebellion of oppression and unfair treatment. Danse's sheer existence is an involuntary rebellion of all BoS values, and even if Hancock would be hesitant to become close to Danse for a long while, I think he would be impressed by him, in the end, and more importantly, understand where he's coming from.

Their combined interest in both protecting the people they care about as well as the collective societies those people come from, as well as how nerdy they both are about US history... I think, eventually, they will realize how similar their lives were, how similar they are to each other, and maybe even find some comfort in knowing that they aren't alone in all of the waves of shame, guilt, and loneliness. That there is an overarching group of people who understand them, and that they do have a place in this world. I think once they recognize that similar traumas can manifest in polar opposite conditions (ones that they used to have a narrow, black-and-white outlook on), they'll also find that there is no real reason to hate each other anymore; the world has told them that they must hate each other, but they no longer have any need to listen.

TL;DR autistic Danse & Hancock ftw

[rocketturtle4]

Only Friends, a possible take on Mews feelings

(…wasn’t going to post this week because I’m still shadowbanned but here we are) EDIT: No longer shadowbanned here's a post about how I frame aceness and talking about it in BL if anyone is curious.

So I have seen a lot of confusion and different takes on Mew this week which is lots of fun and my favourite so far has been this one by @slayerkitty (If I had in fact read that one before writing most of this I probably wouldn't have bothered BUT I already wrote it and the brain rot is real sooooo....)

First and foremost I want to note that Mew has come across so far to me as rather Demiromantic & Demisexual, (which, as its my own orientation, is definitely going to involve some projecting). I do not necessarily think this IS his orientation but that's the lens this post is going to take.

(Small sidenote I wrote a long post about Aceness in BL and how I’ve related to it and seen it depicted a little while after Be My Fav ended, that I WISH I COULD REFER TO however I am waiting for the shadowbanning to end before posting it so I can interact with people. I am frustrated by this.)

We have been told reasonably clearly that Mew has never had strong sexual or romantic feelings for a person before Top and I do think this goes a long way towards understanding his actions so far.

Evidence:

He is not really seen checking out/flirting with anyone (other than Top) at any point (and in THIS show, I count this as evidence because we have seen ALL the other main characters check out people on the regular, this show is doing a good job of showcasing casual sexual attraction as a part of the day to day and Mew is not showing signs of this.)

Mew explicitly mentions that he has never clicked with anyone before, ergo he’s never really been attracted to anyone before.

Mew tells Ray that Top is the first one to make his heart flutter.

Mew seems somewhat disconnected from his friends experience with sex and attraction.

In some ways Mew even seems disconnected from his OWN sexual and romantic attraction

Do I think this means he’s definitely doubleDemi: Nope

Why this matters for my take: If Mew has never experienced attraction before, or never experienced it strongly before, then delving into his feelings might feel a lot more daunting than people might think. Because it’s not about this being his first sexual encounter/romantic relationship, its about this being the first time he has ever felt these emotions.

My take on Mew and Top

Re: Mews Virginity. Boston was the first person to tell Top that Mew was a virgin, later, in the counter scene, when Mew stops things he says ‘I’m not ready’ and then ‘I’ve never done it’. This does not imply to me that he has no experience, just that those experiences likely haven’t involved his genitals (we'll see if I eat my words next week).

Okay Ep 1 (I am going mostly off memory)

We see from the beginning that Mew is less connected into the bar scene than his friends, he’s introduced as the tablekeeper and is the one collecting people to leave once he’s had enough. He is also put forth as the one most academically inclined which often implies a sense of responsibility (while the bar scene does the opposite.)

Top, our Top Tier, (brought in by Boston so Boston could turn their fun in the phone booth into another encounter,) is intrigued by Mew for being so different from what he typically encounters at the bar scene and is successful in getting Mew to take him home.

Now, WHY did Mew agree if he is not yet particularly attracted to Top you ask? (I ask, same dif)

Curiosity

Do you know what its like for all the people around you to talk about Sex and just...not get it? To stare around at people eyeing each other up and down and feel…nothing? And I mean it’s not like Mew is celibate for other reasons…he’s just… not interested.

He’s also what 22? And Horny? (Because as a reminder Ace people still have a libido and some of them want to have sex, aceness is explicitly about lacking attraction to an individual)

So he takes Top home and then things get started and he realizes hey, no, what, I’m not sure about this.

And he stops things.

Because while he is experiencing lust from the situation, he’s not really comfortable in his attraction.

“I just feel like I don’t know you well enough.”

That is not just a line, that is an explicit feeling that I have felt. It wells up inside and squirms into every part of you. I can’t do this, I don’t know you well enough.

But it’s also VERY MUCH about both fear and control. I agreed with a lot of posts in the first few weeks about Mews desire to remain in control, but to me this is strongly linked to his possible sexuality. He is USED to feeling in control because he hasn’t experienced strong attraction before. He doesn’t know what it’s like to stare at someone and lust after them, or even what its like to dream about falling asleep in their arms.

These are brand new emotions, big, scary, new, emotions and they are probably making him feel rather OUT of control and so all the distance we see from Top, and even from himself, is him attempting to stay regulated.

He even seems aware of this in his disclaimer that if he were to go all in on his feelings, he would be a crazy stalker, because those brand-new feelings are unlike anything he has felt before. (I remember the first time I experienced it I could only liken it to extreme anger or fear, or the highest excitement, it was just so much stronger than I’d imagined)

Additional Note Re: @plantsarepeopletoo

Another part of this, which Paprika put forth and I agree with, is that Mew might be scared of his emotions because he's afraid of hurting others. He's the table keeper, the even keel, the calm one, he keeps everyone's stuff safe and makes sure everyone gets home. (And he fails at this once he starts paying attention to Top...). (But I'll get to Ray)

Let’s fast track a bit

We have a cute montage of the getting to know you, they eat ice cream, they go to the library, Top helps out with the project. The getting to know you is going well and Mew is absolutely feeling things.

And then Top jumps the gun a bit because he is still trying to fast track to the good stuff and Mew says yes to save his face.

In Ep 2

We have Mew confessing to Ray that Top makes his heart flutter (the first time this has ever happened). We see Mew starting to test his own boundaries and feelings, but FIRST we get him asking Top to backtrack a bit because he’s been moving too fast, and he only said yes because Top asked him in public.

After that boundary is back up we get Mew teasing and testing and feeling out how things stand.

What can he do that lets him explore things without them progressing too far?

If he does x what does Top assume he wants?

Because Mew has NO IDEA where Tops boundaries are, Mew’s not ready for sex, I imagine that if he could be sure that making out with Top would stop at making out he might have tried it by now, but their first make out escalated rather quickly so he is being careful. (as @slayerkitty puts it he doesn't trust Top yet) but I also posit that he may not trust himself yet.

He doesn’t allow the bed sharing, but he does later allow the cuddling. Why? Because the couch cuddle is after increased emotional vulnerability, it’s helping Mew see that Top is moving with him. It builds trust. It builds connection. It builds emotion (it builds demi stability...)

Ep 3

Not a WHOLE lot happened in Ep 3, we were very Mark and Boston focused but here’s what I got:

Mew is getting more comfortable with his feelings for Top, and he’s trying to move them towards being on the same page (I read some excellent takes on the disco scene and the disconnect between their clothing in both that scene and the later one)

He’s stopped correcting people when they say Top is his boyfriend, including Top, that was the main change we saw this Ep for the record. Mew has already made it clear that the label is important to him, and this suggests to me he is growing increasingly comfortable with the relationship.

Top is also the first one Mew calls later on. He's go to number 1.

The PROBLEM with EP 3 is 1 Boston is getting in Top’s head and 2 Mew has NOT BEEN COMMUNICATING. (Because he doesn't trust...)

Mew has been testing out his feelings and playing with his boundaries because he has genuine feelings for Top but he hasn’t TOLD Top this (he also hasn’t told us this so I could be totally wrong but - projecting) and so even though Mew is nearly ready to move things forward (next eps teaser), all Top knows is his own sexual frustration and Boston’s half truths so… it’s about to get ugly up in here.

Any Questions? (I can’t answer them but ask away lol)

My take on Mew and Ray

Real quick my projections

Mew and Ray’s moment from 2 years ago was probably Ray kissing Mew for a bit, Mew letting it happen (again curiosity) but stopping before things got any further.

OR Ray confessing his feelings, Mew inviting the kiss (because again, he has had no attraction before and was curious) but realizing after a bit he felt nothing and stopping it.

Mew stopping Top in ep 1 before he got the pants off makes me think the pants have never come off for Mew before.

What this means IMO

Mew is aware of Ray’s feelings because of the two years ago incident

They presumably 1 talked about it and agreed to stay friends

Or 2 silently agreed to never acknowledge it again because the feelings weren’t reciprocal and they wanted to stay friends.

This tracks for me in the way Mew seems to keep a bit of distance from Ray but still wants to be there for him, but also emphasises ‘friends’ in their ep 2 hug/chat.

Also the way Mew seems excited by Ray’s interest in Sand.

I don’t think Mew is intentionally hurting Ray, more that they both agreed to ignore it since so long ago that it’s part of the background noise at this stage.

ALSO

I honestly also think that Mew and Ray are the closest two of the friend group (I have speculated that maybe Mew was there for Ray when his mom died). (AGAIN @slayerkitty explains this well, like, their take on the friend group felt nearly plucked out of my brain). My guess is that the incident 2 years ago left them a bit more distant. However, Mew had no way of knowing Ray was with Sand (I don’t buy the encouraged him means Mew knows they’re hooking up. ‘Make sure you talk to him’ is not the same as 'take him home and do him', especially in Mew’s book)

After Top who else was Mew going to call? Boston? BOSTON?? Or Cheum?, who Mew knows came to the party with her girlfriend. (Also gender rolls and the societal appropriateness of sleeping over at a girls house lesbian or not).

Yeah, Ray is the most sensible second choice.

(My fav take on the car scene so far, Ray & Sand Perspective: here @idleorbitals)

Thoughts?

[avelera]

Can I just say how freaking Satisfying it was to read the part in giving sanctuary where dream realizes that of course, to a man who grew up surrounded by the goddamn plague, a table loaded with food would be his idea of heaven? Because god, that was satisfying. (Dream, I adore you, but sometimes I want to hit you with a pool noodle.)

I find the contrast between Dream knowing things & understanding them absolutely fascinating in ur fics. For example, in come live with me, how dream starts to realize there are lots of parts of hobs life he leaves out because he thinks they are too sad, shameful, or boring for Dream. It makes his character development *chefs kiss*, and the steps he takes towards trying to understand people all the more meaningful. Because what is loving someone if not trying to know them, despite already knowing their life story? :)

;____; Thank you so much!

(I promise, CLWM will update soon, I'm just an idiot who had the next scene be a really steamy sex scene there and writing the Naxos arc of Giving Sanctuary at the same time is NOT conducive to jumping between the fics, arrrrgghhhg)

But in all seriousness, I'm having one of those "I know I was doing that because to me, there's a natural divide between "knowing" something and "understanding" something, but I had no idea I was doing it that strongly in the fic" and I feel really seen in a good way that you spotted that and you explaining it back is really making me think now and self examine and get very excited about what your observation says about the story that was both intentional but also a bit subconscious!

(Cut for CLWM and Giving Sanctuary behind the scenes rambling)

Because I believe Dream absolutely "Knows" that humans face privation but does he, a being who does not need to eat, sleep, or even breathe truly Understand what it would be like to experience that? Does he understand it enough to understand the contrast between having nothing and having excess, or does he only see the boorishness of the largess?" Dream has understanding but he lacks empathy. And worse, he often doesn't even try to have it.

There's a line in Brief Lives (which I was recently re-reading for GS) where Destruction says that in the past, Dream just saw other living beings especially humans as (paraphrased) "things that dream" - things that serve Dream's function. Almost like they're crops that need tending rather than individuals with inner lives. Which is actually a terrifying thing to learn about the creature that tends the dreams of humanity because of its potential for sheer monstrousness, of seeing those in his care as literal livestock. But I believe Dream can overcome this, he's not inherently a monster, but to paraphrase Pratchett, the root of all evil is seeing people as things, and I think from that perspective, Dream had immense potential to become a monster, for the Nada situation to be the norm not an exception and that he could have become worse if something didn't derail his trajectory. The fishbowl might have been excessively cruel but something was needed to force Dream to look in a mirror and have a serious examination of whether he liked what he saw!

And I love Hob being a source of reversal on this aspect of Dream as opposed to the cruelty of the fishbowl! Like, obviously, because I ship them and I'm writing romance instead of long form comic books, my take on how Dream could be set on the path to emotional redemption is via falling in love with another person. And I think there's canonical evidence to back that up. Heck, I think there's canonical comic evidence that the reason Hob and Dream don't have more scenes together in the comic is because you can feel Dream's self destructive narrative flexing, crumbling, breaking when he's around Hob.

Having one friend (regardless of romance but I think romance helps supercharge this) who truly only knows and likes Dream for who he is really puts lie to Dream's entire schtick about only existing as a story and not being able to change. It's hard to maintain those ideas if someone like Hob is in your life. Hob, who is the anti-story in a way, who just continues to live because being a person and being alive is the ultimate experience, it doesn't require a character arc, it doesn't require an ending to be satisfying to him!

Hob's not going to end his own life for love like someone would in a story, not even for his own child, not even for Dream, his only constant. But he will be there to share life with Dream or with anyone who partakes (I've realized while reading Brief Lives that the way I write Hob at least is basically Destruction if he wasn't Endless or Dream's brother lol and I've been noodling on that a bit). I think given Dream's melodrama, that's a very radical point of view to have in his life, and if the narrative allowed Hob and him in a room together more well... heck, even in the comic, they have a ton of bizarrely romantic interactions, like you can feel that relationship poking at the borders of the story until it's wrenched away.

Anyway! Pardon my ramblings, the ADHD meds are kicking in and I love warming up my brain and fingers for the day with a rambling meta piece XD

[elysiunms]

Welcome!

Realized I never created an intro and kind of just jumped into the whole posting thing :D Welcome! My name is Elysian/Elysium but I usually go by Sian. I am a Transguy using He/it pronouns and most of my time spent on this blog will be yelling into the emptiness. I am autistic/ADHD and Dyslexic, so I'm so so sorry if I come across as mean over text, I promise I'm not :(

My blog will include these FICTIONAL trigger warnings! Violence, Drug and Drink abuse, Physical Abuse, Murder, and Attempted Murder, Child abuse, Indirect self-harm (ex. not eating), Ghosts, Near-drowning, Dead family Members, Verbal Abuse, Panic Attacks, and Blood.

I kind of started posting so I could have records of fandoms I've been in, headcanons and just interact in communities a little more- it's not really to gain traction or anything (though I'm not opposed to that <3)

Feel free to interact with me though! I don't bite and love questions! Most of what I talk about here is developed with my partner, Saintless, who doesn't have a tumblr sadly :(

Current fandoms are (Will stay updated):

Nerdy Prudes Must Die

Hannibal

Warrior Cats

Guardians of Ga'hoole

Wings of Fire

Furry

I am NOT into Starkid and the only reason I am into NPMD is because of Max lmao, I think the directors gave us a good base for a character and I want to expand on him more! (He's my oc now sorry /hj)

Current Projects (Will stay updated):

FF!NPMD (Fanfic/rewrite kind of thing) - Semi-public, will share fics and headcanons but probably nothing else.

Annwyl - Personal Worldbuilding Project, may hear from time to time but we will see

Endless Isles - Personal Warrior Cats project, you won't hear from it sorry

Ever-nest - Public Warrior cats project, also won't hear from this

FAQ:

What does FF! mean in front of character names? ff! means fanfic! It is for my NPMD rewrite/fanfics which focus on Max's childhood up until he's out of college. I decided to give it its own tag for easy scrolling on my profile if needed and to differentiate CANON Max from my HEADCANON Max, as they are different in my head. Other Characters will also have ff! in front of their name for the same reason- they're completely separate from canon and built off of the little tidbits we barely get for them in NPMD.

Who are James and Richard? These are characters in the ff! world- and Max's family. In the musical, we only get a bit about Max's home life and only get 1 family member, his dad, and how much of a dick he is to Max. Since the fic focuses on Max's life from childhood to around 25, we needed family members for him. His mother hasn't been given a name, and we're not sure if she will have one since shes- uninvolved… in his life. Richard is Max's dad and James is Max's older brother.

You ship Max with multiple people? Why is that? You don't just date one person in your life. In my rewrite, Max and Kyle date for a short time (under six months) before Max dates Richie (Current). This is to explain why Max may be aggressive to Kyle (He was very hurt and holds a grudge like a bitch) It just adds more depth to the characters, rather than having Kyle just be Max's best friend and nothing else.

Do you excuse Max's actions in the musical? Nope! He is horrible and deserves the consequences he got. But I also strongly believe in nurture over nature. You are not born horrible, Max is SEVERELY fucked up and ff! is meant to explore that, not excuse it.

Why is Max and Kyle gay in your writing? He's Bisexual- which most of the fandom leans towards for him from what I have seen. His ship with Grace is cute- but that's obsession, not love. "But he's clearly straight!" Are we looking at the same man? This man kicks his feet when he lays down and asks to cuddle! He does silly dance moves? Mans did an airplane with his arms in Literal Monster, please look again, I know what he is! /lh Kyle does come off as straight, but I'm silly, and he's silly, and I wanted him to be gay,, smiles.

[bravewolfvesperia]

He shouldn't have been entirely too surprised that things were going better already, water issues aside, but he'd been fighting for that kind of thing his whole life. Remodeling was a lot more than than ever would've gotten when the two of them were growing up. Even without Yuri there most of the time now, he was grateful that something was being done. If he could get ahold of Ioder at some point, he'd rather thank him personally than just send a word of thanks to him through Flynn.

"I guess I can try to stop by to get what's still there. Shouldn't be too much of a problem to fit that into my schedule if I can get Ba'ul's help." Not that he counted on Ba'ul at all times, but his presence did make travel much easier. Nowadays Ba'ul seemed more relaxed too - less anxiety about the spirits, not fearing becoming a target so strongly, not needing to fly them around constantly out of necessity... Flying seemed like it was perhaps even fun for him now, and he could bring his human friends along without worry.

Monsters though... Yeah, that wasn't always actually fun. Having Ba'ul around did save a lot of trouble in that department. If the towns could build better fortifications like Deidon Hold it would be a load of people's minds, but the building process would take time and need to be protecting from monsters in the first place. It really did suck how much they lost without blastia, but at the time, they really didn't have a moment to stop and make plans. They didn't have time to consider other options or even truly prepare for it.

"But you know? It's not as fun fighting without a blastia." Yuri sighed deeply through his words as if truly concerned about it. Maybe partially, but it was less of a concern than how difficult things could get out there again. "I could get more energy out with fancier attacks... I'm used to how a lot of the monsters around certain areas fight, like Dahngrest and Zaphias; it's just not as fun anymore."

People seemed hesitant to get rid of their blastia, especially bodhi blastia, but it was all around due to their lack of readiness to accept the change. Yuri hadn't gotten rid of his either, but he just didn't have the heart to. Wearing it gave him no extra benefits in battle anymore, but it still felt like Niren was looking out for him. It was easier that way - to not ask anyone for help if he felt someone was already watching out for him.

"Actually, now that I think about it, guilds sometimes do work with the knights, right? In the, like, not nefarious Barbos sort of way." Karol was blowing on his food, still eager to eat, and so nodded out a yes to refrain from his interrupting his food cooling. "Sooo next time there's a monster problem around Zaphias, they could call our guild to help their commandant as a show of good faith between the guilds and empire, it's conveniently me who shows up, and we just coincidentally have a good time in the process."

Thinking on it now, he idly wondered how Leblanc would react to seeing him. Technically he was no longer a full time resident of Zaphias, and he wasn't sure how the laws worked in that regard when his occupation was that of a guild. Even if Leblanc chased him around for old time's sake, Yuri wasn't sure it could really reasonably go beyond that. Most people didn't really consider two locations their places of residence either though, so he was probably a special case... Hopefully they wouldn't go tweaking any laws because of just him, even if he did reside in Dahngrest primarily due to work.

"Oh, right; I'd been meaning to tell you." Yuri paused to try the stew, determining it was safe enough to eat with light blowing on. "We're working on setting up a base at Aurnion for our guild work too. I'm not sure how much you plan to visit there with the town pretty squared away and forming its own identity now, but with a base for guilds it'll be easier to stay there for longer periods for our work." He paused again briefly, feeling a tinge of heat returning to his face. "I was wondering if... once things get settled with that, if you would be... interested in meeting up there once a month. Not... the knights specifically. If you would be interested in it."

Flynn was a bit grateful that Yuri seemed to revert back to normal for the time being. Flynn did want to talk more with Yuri about everything but at the dinner table in front of Karol, and to some extent Repede, was not the place to do so. So when Yuri returned and began to pass around the drinks and serve the food, Flynn allowed him to continue on as normal. 

He couldn’t help but smile as he watched his friend, the nostalgia of the situation hitting him at full force. How many times had Yuri and Flynn sat at a table together with the children back in the Lower Quarter? Simply just living life together before things got so complicated? Flynn would never regret the path he took, though he was certain that there were some things he would gladly do differently. But he knew that Yuri also never regretted the path he took. 

But if he had the choice to go back to those times for at least a day? He would probably take it, no hesitation. 

“You’re not as bad anymore.” Karol decides, after a long moment of thought. “It’s just that you and Judy like fighting too much and the monsters are tougher to fight now without the Blastia and you guys stress me out sometimes.” 

Flynn laughed a bit at Karol’s pout as he let his eyes dart back over to meet Yuri’s. “To be fair, we’ve been fighting monsters since long before we had our Bodhi Blastia. So it’s not impossible for us. It’s just an adjustment…” 

“You only say that just cause you like fighting too, Flynn!” Karol exclaims, shoving a spoonful of the pork stew into his mouth with a huff, only to flinch back when it burns his tongue. “Ow– Ow– Too Hot–” 

“Hey, let it cool first. It won’t run away before you can eat it.” Flynn snorted, shaking his head. It seemed even the boss of a guild could be impatient when it came to eating food. He remembered all of the times he had likely done the same growing up. 

As Flynn waited for his own bowl to cool, he paused to consider Yuri’s question. He could feel the earlier stress begin to slip back into his shoulders as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “The Noble Quarter is finding every reason in the world to complain about the cold but they’re fine.” He glanced over the topic of the Noble Quarter so quickly that he was sure it was obvious that he didn’t really feel like talking about them at the moment. Which worked out just fine, because he was certain Yuri couldn’t care less about the Noble Quarter either.

“Master Ioder has put a plan in place to start building a new water filtering system, that’s true.” Flynn’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m backing it as much as possible but the Council… they’re fighting it for some ungodly reason. Stating it’s a waste of resources. But if we can get past them, we’ll be good to get that project started.” 

Flynn could never understand the politics of these kinds of situations. Water should be a basic human right and yet the Council kept trying to argue that the citizens would survive without it. That was exactly how people got sick. Flynn, and Yuri, would know that from experience. He really didn’t want to have to go down the sympathy route in order to appeal to the council but it was starting to seem like he would have to write an entire book on the reasons why having non filtered water was dangerous.

“...In slightly better news, the inn in the Lower Quarter was approved for a remodel. That’ll likely be started in a couple of months. The innkeeper still has your room in tact, Yuri, so if you decide to come by, you can collect your things long enough for the remodel. If not, I suppose I can do it for you and just hold whatever’s left over there in my room for the time being.” He admittedly found himself visiting that room whenever he had the time to do so. To just help dust it and have it ready for Yuri if he were to drop by surprise. He wanted to have a place waiting for Yuri to return to if he wanted to, after all. 

Not permanently, of course but… He figured it would be a nice gesture at any rate.

[jenoismydad]

Just Give In

pairing: jeno x reader

genre: smut; fem receiving, fingering, dirty talk, a very bratty reader, choking, marking, rough and unprotected sex

words: 2.5k+

warnings: none

A/N: lowercase intended. this has no paragraphs and its long so i’m just going to put the read more here. smut is right underneath it ;)

you tried pushing him off of you, but to no avail. he was just to strong for you, but you weren’t going to give in without a fight. you were more prideful than that. “such a fucking bitch. doesn’t even know when to stop.”, jeno grunted, teeth sinking into the skin of your neck. the whine that left your lips was more pleased than pained. jeno began rubbing his knee that was nudged between your thighs against your clothed core. fists balled on both your sides, you willed yourself not to make a noise, knowing too well that if you did, you’d have to put up with more of cocky jeno, which you’d already had quite enough of. “don’t hold yourself back y/n.”, jeno said, placing soft kisses along your jaw. “you’ll have a much better night if you just give him.” he merged his lips with yours, smirking as you failed to refrain yourself from kissing him back. his lips were just so addictive. every spot of your body he kissed felt like it had been lit on fire. he pulled away from you, hand discretely slipping inside your soaked panties. his fingers dipped inside your slit, brows raising as he felt just how aroused you were. “look at how wet you are for me. you’re really enjoying this aren’t you?” scoffing, you leaned against the wall, getting a grip on yourself before answering, “oh please, i haven’t fucked someone in ages. that’s just the lack of sex speaking.” jeno nodded, clearly not buying your reason. “well then, let’s make up for all the time you lost. how about that?” the offer he presented to you would have been appealing, giving that you didn’t loathe him as much as you did. you weren’t like every other girl on campus, trying oh so desperately to get into jeno’s pants because of the rumor that he was a god in bed. jeno didn’t like that. it was a dent to his pride. at some point, jeno used to be your friend. having grown up together in the same neighbourhood when younger. you’d seen his life become what it was today. you’d been present for his awkward phase, his saintly phase, his athletic phase and many many more. but you refused to stay for his fuckboy phase. at first, it really didn’t matter to you. it was jeno’s life, his sex life to be more precise and what he chose to do with it was none of your concern. somewhere you knew that girls would throw themselves at him left and right. puberty had hit him like a meteor after all. and it was fine at that. that is, until he started enforcing his sex appeal on you that it. it seemed he had finished sleeping with all the available girls and there was no one else left but you. obviously he never directly asked you to fuck, but you weren’t dumb and you knew perfectly well when a boy was trying to get in your pants. the fact that jeno was doing it angered you a lot. you thought you were a friend to him but apparently you were just another girl he could fuck to keep his fuckboy streak alive. it was sad really and this was exactly what drove you two apart. jeno however, was clueless that this was the reason behind your hatred for him and so, like the determined man he was, he never stopped trying. after months and months of chasing, he’d finally gotten what he wanted. “i would rather choke than have sex with you.”, you answered, resisting the pleasure that his skilled fingers were bringing you. “what if i choke you while i fuck you? that way we can both get what we want.” you wanted to slap that shit eating grin right off his face. did the fact that you’d shared the same diapers as babies mean nothing to him? his mom and dad were like second parents to you and the fact that you were even doing this with their son didn’t set right for you. he, on the other hand, was so shameless and it irked you greatly. “come on y/n we haven’t got all night. actually, no. we do. but still, i wouldn’t advise that you waste all our time like this.”, he said, now pushing his fingers into your walls. you moaned involuntarily. you weren’t lying when you said you hadn’t fucked in a long time. you were so sensitive that the slightest touch from him made your toes curl. “you know y/n you’re all talk. you say that you won’t do this or that but then you actually have the nerve to enjoy it. that’s not how its supposed to be.”, he said, adding another finger to the mix. your back arched off the wall, eyes shutting tight as he began pumping them in and out of you. jeno’s fingers felt so good. he was fingering you better than you could ever finger yourself. his long calloused digits curled upwards into you, eliciting elated moans from you. “do you like that?”, he asked, studying your pleasure filled face. “no i hate it.”, you muttered out, a contradictory moan following your words. “oh really? it doesn’t seem that way. you’re such a terrible liar y/n.”, he said, heightening the pace of his fingers. “i told you, it’s cause i haven’t had sex for so long.”, you retaliated. jeno entered at third finger into your now cramped hole. your eyes widened at the burning stretch and you instinctively pulled jeno’s body flush against yours. “look at you moaning like a slut and telling me you don’t like it. i know perfectly well how to deal with brats like you.”, he sneered, sucking dark marks on your skin. “i’m not a brat.”, you spat, attempting to push him off yourself for the second time. “you aren’t? why aren’t you giving in then?”, he asked, effortlessly resisting your pathetic pushes. “i don’t want to.” jeno’s hand slammed against the wall at your words, startling you. it seemed you’d finally flipped a switch. “well then i’ll make you.”, he said, determined as he hoisted you over his shoulder and threw you onto his bed. he tore your blouse off your body, its buttons scattering over the bed much to your dismay. you didn’t have a bra on and jeno was satisfied with that. your jeans came off next, panties following soon after until you were completely naked. “fuck you’re hot.”, jeno muttered under his breath. the urge to simply cut the bullshit and fuck you was eating away at his mind but there were other things he planned to do with you. “you said you don’t want to give in right? if you make a single noise i’m bending you over and fucking you senseless, no questions asked.”, he said, spreading your legs apart. he didn’t wait for you to answer, lips closing in around your clit. you bit your lip, squeezing your breasts. he nipped and sucked the sensitive nub, strong grip preventing your thighs from shutting together. his tongue entered your slit, collecting all your arousal hungrily. you tasted so fucking sweet and jeno was finding it harder and harder to control himself. you could say the same for yourself. his wet muscle was fucking you so good that you were seeing stars. you had already lost the challenge, your moans so loud and clear that his neighbours on the next floor could probably hear them. jeno didn’t care that you’d given up. he was too lost in you to remember his challenge at the moment. you could feel a knot forming in your stomach, a feeling you hadn’t felt in a very long time. “jeno i’m going to cum.”, you moaned, fisting his sheets in your hands. “no you’re not.”, he said, reluctantly coming away from your pussy. you whined in frustration, sitting up and staring at him angrily. “you aren’t cumming unless you give in. say you want it. say you want me to fuck you.”, he said, eyes boring into yours. your body screamed at you to say the words he wanted to hear but your mind told you not to comply so soon. you were torn between them both. “fine.”, you began, leaning back against his headboard. “if you won’t make me cum then i guess i’ll have to do it myself.” spreading your legs, your fingers came down to your aching clit and started rubbing fast circles onto it. jeno’s eyes widened at the sight. he was clearly caught off guard. his eyes stayed glued on your pussy, the way you touched yourself made him lick his lips longingly. he wanted to be the one making you moan like that. he wanted to be the one touching you like that. “fuck i’m going to cum jeno.”, you warned, head falling back as you felt your orgasm fast approaching. before you knew it, you were whisked onto your back. pinning your arms above your head, jeno pushed his cock into you without a warning. he had decided to put his pride aside for now and just do what he wanted to. who were you to complain though. his cock felt much better than your fingers. he didn’t even wait for you to adjust to his size, hips pounding into yours as soon as he’d entered you. you screamed, your senses clouding at how great he was fucking you. any shred of doubt that you previously had was now chucked out the window. nothing mattered to you now. you just wanted to cum and it had to be all over his dick. “why do you have to be so fucking stubborn all the damn time?”, jeno grunted. your tight walls were having quite the effect on him. he couldn’t think straight and was just letting his body take control. “if you hadn’t put up a fight we could’ve done this ages ago.”, jeno said, his tone slightly regretful. his words buzzed past your ears. your mind was a haze. although it was embarrassing for you to admit, you were dangerously close to cumming. but you didn’t want to warn jeno, in the fear that he’d steal another climax from you. “you’re close right?”, he asked, sensing the way your walls weakly clenched around his member. “i want you to cum all over my dick.”, he revealed. you were thankful for that and you did exactly as his said. your orgasm hit so strongly that everything stopped for a moment. for a second, you felt nothing and then everything crashed down onto you in an instant. back arching forward, you head fell back as a series of curses left you lips. jeno’s hips never ceased their speed. he fucked you through your high and once he was certain you’d come down from it, he easily flipped you around and shoved his cock into you from behind. the overstimulation made you squeal. jeno pushed your head down into the mattress as he buried his cock into your throbbing heat. “fuck y/n i’ve been waiting for this for so long. you don’t even know how bad i’ve wanted to fuck you.”, he groaned out, greedily fucking your heavenly walls. you moaned in response. “shit jeno you fuck me so nice.”, you praised, pushing your hips back to meet his. he collected you hair in his fist and yanked it back, bringing your head up. he leaned down over you, hips still rutting into you. “you don’t fucking deserve to feel nice you slut. you had me running after you like a fucking dog and then you have the audacity to keep playing games with me. you don’t deserve any of this.”, he muttered, wrapping his arm around your neck. “you said you’d rather choke then have sex with me so here you go.” jeno closed his hold around your throat, snickering at the way your moans muffled up. he fucked you relentlessly, painting your shoulder with red marks. he could feel your pulse against his palm along with the vibrations of your faint moans. he let go of your hair, instead bringing his hand to your waist to hold you in place as he chased his high. his hold around your neck loosened slightly, allowing you to moan freely. your pleasure filled voice was music to his ears and it only encouraged him to keep going, faster and harder. soon his fingers were digging into the skin of your ass. everything he was seeing, hearing and feeling was so hot. you were so hot and you were certainly better than any girl he had ever fucked before. save the best for the last they say. well jeno was sure that he was never fucking anyone else but you after this and that was final. everything about you was so fucking perfect. the soft moans of his name that came from you drove him insane with lust. fuck he’d never heard something so sweetly lewd in his life. lost in his thoughts and your pussy, he didn’t even realise when he hit his climax as his cum spurted out into your hole. he usually stayed away from cumming inside his partner, but this felt so damn nice. he bucked his hips into yours, emptying himself into you completely. he didn’t let go of you until he was certain that he’d filled you with every last drop of cum he had in him. “that was hot.”, you said as he pulled out of you, turning around on your back to face him. he stared at you, eyes raking over your naked body in awe. you were definitely a delight to the eyes. you pulled his covers over yourself sighing contently at the comforting warmth. “i could get used to this you know.”, he said, putting his pants on. he threw you a towel, sitting across you at the edge of his bed. “get used to what?”, you questioned, cleaning up his cum that was dripping out of your now sore pussy. “having you in my bed like this.”, he said, folding his arms. “don’t tell me you fell in love with me after one fuck.”, you said jokingly, putting a pillow under your head. “well i didn’t fall in love with you. but i did see what i was missing out on.”, he revealed. “what are you saying?” “have you ever thought about us y/n?”, he asked, ignoring your question. you shook your head. “no. not really. maybe once in middle school and once in highschool, but never after that.”, you shared. jeno nodded. “well i just gave it a thought and i don’t think it would be that bad.”, he said, laying down on his back. he was exhausted, you could tell from his voice. “are you seriously asking me out right now?” jeno chuckled at the situation himself. “yeah, maybe i am.”, he admitted. “you’re the only girl who i’ve ever genuinely had a crush on.” your cheeks reddened at his confession. “that’s cute.” jeno looked over at you. “so what do you say. will you give me a chance?” you contemplated the offer and shrugged. “i don’t think it would be too bad of an idea.” jeno smiled and sent you a thumbs up. “great. starting tomorrow you’re my girlfriend then.” you raised a brow. “why tomorrow.” he slung his arm over his eyes. “i’m too tired to have a girlfriend right now.”

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Let the Stars Witness

Okay okay holy— omg I did it! My first request and from an admired writer of mine no less!

From @kim-monsterlings : Hi and welcome!! Really looking forward to seeing your work! ~ If you would, could I request some form of friends to lovers with an orc? (Prompts maybe like, "you deserve better.") Thank you! <3

Since it wasn't specified on what their genders are, I hope your okay with what I went with! And I kinda trailed off from the prompt (or rather it's different but similar)

Anyways you'll know when you read!

•

Pairing: Male Orc (Duruk) x Human Fem!Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: None.

•

"You know, I never thought I would be friends with anyone here, especially with someone other than my, well, species," you tell your companion, your eyes not leaving the cloudless night sky as you lied on your back on the roof of his house. The stars were out tonight.

If you told your younger self that you'd be having great escapades (if running away and getting into a series of trouble fall under that) with an orc, you would most definitely cry your eyes out because you thought were being teased, taking it as a hurtful comment. You were sensitive like that. Part of the reason why no one would even go near you, afraid they might hurt you with a pat on the shoulder or with one word alone. You became the prime target of bullies, finding twisted amusement at your pathetic reactions. A crybaby, they called you. But it wasn't your fault you didn't have much control over your emotions. You were weird, asocial, timid, maybe even depressed. Having a neglectful family didn't help either, it just worsened.

•

The morning you met Duruk was after the orientation. And it was not so good for a first impression.

Long story short, you cried.

But since you're perhaps curious as to what happened exactly, let's elaborate.

You had your headphones on, the melodic sound of gentle rain played in a 3-hour loop and blocked out other noises, your eyes glued to the path you were on. You took long and hurried steps, wishing you could teleport to your classroom and hide in the back, disappear or become invisible.

You were distracted, or should we say, focused on the ground and expecting everyone to step aside and let you through.

Well, except for the one who had his back on you.

You crashed—not an exaggeration— into something- someone massive. You stumbled back and landed on your bum, wincing from the impact. Luckily, your headphones were safe (ah yes, priorities), detaching from your ears and landing on your shoulders. When you looked up to see who it was, you thought your eyes were gonna fall off, grow little legs, and scamper away.

Before you stood an orc, halfway turned to glance at whoever it was that tried to push him, his sharp tusks jutting out from his maw. His brows were furrowed as he looked down on you. Sure, he wasn't as tall as the orcs you've seen around the city and campus but still was over 6 feet, with muscles thicker than your thighs, easily hulking you.

You tried to get out an apology and run as far as you could go, but you just sat there, frozen as you strained your neck to meet his gaze, you couldn't look away. Your heart was trying to claw its way out into the surface.

Then you felt the tears swell up.

They cascaded down your face before you even could stop them.

The orc's eyes widened at your reaction and crouched down to your level in an instant that he almost fell over. His hands hovered, not sure what to do.

"Hey, hey, please don't cry. Please don't—"

"I-I-I'm re..really s-sorry p-please don't hurt m-me..." You managed to choke out pathetically, hiccuping in every word.

"Shhh now hey, it's okay. It was an accident— what? No! Why would I do that?" he replied. The orc peeked over his shoulder and to the sides. "Let's get you to somewhere, uh, less crowded," he added. You turned your head and saw that you had an audience, whispers went around as they sent pitiful and disgusted glances in your direction, only making you cry even more.

He proceeded to unceremoniously lift you into his arms, bridal style, and dashed away. You gripped the front of his shirt and shut your eyes. You were trembling now, scared of what he might do to you. How could you even fight back with your small stature?

It wasn't long until you felt him slow down and placed you carefully on a bench. The orc knelt in front of you, brows scrunched up as he studied your face.

"You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

You didn't reply, only staring at him through your glassy eyes as you heaved.

You flinched when his hand started rubbing your back, his other hand placed on the side of the bench to balance himself.

He continued to caress your back and murmured soothing words in hopes of calming you down.

Your tears didn't stop falling until moments later when you came down from your initial fear, the warmth of his palm leaving your back once you did. All the while the orc remained where he was, at a loss of what to do next.

You rubbed your sticky face with the collar of your pale and blotchy crimson sweater, sniffing and taking slow, deep breaths before you spoke.

"I... I'm sorry for causing you trouble. E-Even going as far as to take me somewhere quiet. I...appreciate that." You thought you'd pass out with the way people gathered around you, it was suffocating. "Thank you..."

"I panicked," he started, "Sorry—I mean, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. I get that a lot of people run away from the sight of me, but you didn't, and just froze there on the ground so..." he shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck.

You shook your head. He was such an imposing figure to many, their first thought was most likely to get away or scream at him.

"You looked angry... When I bumped into you." You slammed into him actually, but he didn't budge an inch. Guess it was one-sided.

"Oh, that? Well, my brother scolds me a lot for having such a grumpy face, scaring humans away. Like he was the one to talk when he's taller and bigger than me! People would faint on the spot when they see him, I bet!"

The image your mind conjured up tore a laugh out of your body, two orcs arguing about how not to terrify people at sight was damn hilarious. When was the last time someone made you laugh like this?

The orc grinned, your reaction a contrast to that of earlier.

You opened your mouth to say something but the ringing of the great bell resounded, cutting you off. The two of you stood up as you realized you were late for your first class of the school year.

"So, uh, what now?" you asked.

"How about we go to our class, then maybe meet up later? Oh, fu— my mother will gut me— I haven't introduced myself!" He blurted out, his voice making you yelp with the sudden outburst.

Clearing his throat, he reached out, "I'm Duruk."

In turn, you gave him your name, taking his hand and smiled. "Hello, Duruk."

•

True to his word, you met again later when lunch came. The cafeteria was packed so you settled on getting the convenience food they offered and eat somewhere quiet.

Your conversation that day spiraled when you found out the two of you had a lot in common. From your favorite rock band to your favorite flavor of ice cream.

You both strongly agreed that vanilla ice cream was superior.

You agreed to meet up during breaks, always having something to chat about.

Eventually, you became inseparable.

He even changed and transferred to your class just so the two of you could be together at the start of the day rather than walk half of the campus to see each other every time.

You became best friends, sharing each moment in school, may it be helping the other stay awake in a boring class, or copying homework when one of you forgot to do it. Soon enough, Duruk started inviting you to his house to hang out. He did mention he had four other siblings, but he lived alone. You came by almost every night and on whole weekends to escape from home, only a few miles in between. No one would notice you gone anyways, but you returned around midnight, not wanting to impose on Duruk no matter what he says, so he walks you back instead.

You basked in each other's company. The odd and scrutinizing glares didn't go unnoticed when you two were together, but you shrugged them all off.

It didn't take long before you started having feelings for the orc, a little wishful thinking that you could be more than friends. You noted lately that his touches would linger seconds longer than usual, hugs and even a hand on your shoulder and back seem to be warmer and —you dare say— affectionate. It weighed heavily on your heart, your simple crush turned into something else, and it only grew with each passing day, and every laugh you shared.

But of course, you swatted those away, buried them deep inside every damn time they climb back up. Who could even love you? Yes, you have Duruk, he likes you, you think. But that's the end of it. Just close buddies. You can't take the risk of ruining your friendship with him and make things awkward with the only one you had! What if he stops talking to you, weirded out by your confession? You don't want to go back to being alone again, your heart can't take the rejection that came with it.

So you endured.

•

A little over five months ever since the embarrassing accident, here you are now, stargazing with your best friend.

"Well, good thing you didn't watch where you were going that time then," he says, chuckling beside you. His hands cushioned his head against the hard surface. "I wouldn't have..." he trails off.

"Hm, what?" you ask. Duruk went silent and didn't answer you for a time. You were about to let it slide but then he breathes in audibly.

"I wouldn't have met an angel if you did. Should've caught you in my arms, but sadly I didn't move fast enough." He replies, his voice deep and mellow.

You straighten up and turn to face him, your brows shot up, incredulous to what he just implied.

"W-Wait. What?" you squeak, your heart thumping hard in your chest, your skin warming up even in the chilled night air.

Is he—

"You're so cute, y'know that? Fuck it, it's all or nothing," he whispers under his breath as he sits up to face you. His expression was unreadable, but you see in his mahogany eyes a familiar glint of determination. "I'm not good with long-ass speeches so I'll make this short," he breathes in before he continues, "I feel something for you, for a while now, more than a best friend does, like...in a romantic sense. I want to cherish you and hold you in my arms every time I see you, I- ah fuck- damn it I just—" he growls, "I love you, so much and if you don't love me back then please re—"

You shut him off with your lips against his, Duruk's tusks pressing against your cheeks as you held his face in your hands. He was stunned for two solid seconds before returning the kiss, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling you close and into his lap.

You feel something wet roll down your hand and you immediately jerked back to see his face. The orc was crying.

Did you do it wrong? Were you so terrible at it—

"I don't deserve you... A monster like me doesn't deserve an angel like you."

Where was this coming from??

"Say that again, I dare you."

"I don't de—"

This idiot!

You pecked his lips to cut him off.

"You big dummy," you begin, "I love you too, idiot. You may be a monster but not what everyone else defines you as. I love you as you are. You're my best friend, and dare I say my l-lover now. Is that right...?"

Duruk gives you a small, gentle smile, "If you'll have me, then yes, for as long as you want me to be." He says, sniffling a sob as a couple more tears tumbled down his rugged face.

You never thought you'd see him like this. He was the one who kept making you laugh with his stories and terrible jokes. Before you, in your hands was someone vulnerable, his eyes soft and fond as he gazed into yours.

It made your heart pound and it hurt.

You leaned in and he met you halfway, kissing once again, deeper and more intimate this time. Real. You brought your arms around his neck, your tears spilling out and he tightened his grip around you. It felt like a dream, too good to be true, but the way he hugged you like you were the only thing that anchored him in this world made you believe it wasn't. All of this was real and you couldn't be anymore happier.

From above, the glittering stars, the light gentle as they shone, bear witness to two freed hearts, bottled up feelings gushing out like a broken dam as you embraced one another and lost yourselves in the moment of bliss, cheeks stained and clothes lightly damp from the tiny rivulets of liquid that dropped down.

It's a lovely night, isn't it?

[ibijau]

Jin Rusong Lives pt12 / On AO3

Nie Huaisang discovers that it's not easy to kiss a pretty man when you have a job to do

When he was very young, a year or so after the death of their father, Nie Huaisang had wondered about his brother being single. Since he’d personally been something of a brat, and none too impressed with the changes that circumstances had forced upon his brother, he had come to the conclusion that Nie Mingjue just wasn’t nice enough for anyone to like him that way. 

Nie Huaisang, moved by pity, had promised his brother that he would stay with him all his life, but only if Nie Mingjue never made him attend sabre practice again. His noble sacrifice had been met with indifference, and Nie Mingjue had just sent him to train anyway, proving that he definitely was the hardest, coldest, least lovable person in the world, and deserved to be single.

Some years later, Nie Huaisang had once more wondered why his brother was yet unmarried. At that time, he had been mostly concerned by the fact that made him heir to Qinghe Nie’s leadership, a most horrible realisation to have when he only wished to enjoy his time in Gusu, kiss pretty people, and never learn a single thing in his life. 

He had at that time befriended Jiang Cheng, whose views on love and marriage were entirely unlike what Nie Huaisang felt himself. And then, there had also been that list of popular young bachelors. The second proved that Nie Mingjue was desirable, while the first offered the consideration that not everyone longed for a partner. Nie Huaisang had tried to accept his brother the way he accepted his friend, though it annoyed him that he'd have to be the one producing an heir. He’d already started taking notice of Lan Xichen around then, and no girl in the world could have been even half as beautiful.

Later still, after the Sunshot Campaign, Nie Huaisang once again reconsidered his opinion regarding Nie Mingjue’s situation. His brother wasn't quite as cold as he pretended, and it happened sometimes that he would let his gaze linger on a pretty girl, though never long enough to be noticed. Some of those girls would have made fine mistresses for the Unclean Realm, and could have given Nie Mingjue the heir which would ensure Nie Huaisang would never have to be sect leader. 

But as Nie Mingjue's temper deteriorated in the years leading to his death, after witnessing the violence with which he lost his life, the same violence their father had shown in his last moments, Nie Huaisang formed a new theory; if Nie Mingjue had never married, it was because he was scared of hurting others. 

For a decade, Nie Huaisang satisfied himself with that theory. It went well with the image he had of his brother, noble and self sacrificing. It also helped rekindle his hatred of Jin Guangyao by reminding him that it was his actions that had robbed Nie Mingjue of the loving family he deserved. But the truth, Nie Huaisang was now realising, might have been more simple than that.

It was just so damn complicated to have a sentimental life as a sect leader, and even more so while raising a child. 

Little Jin Rusong, bless him, was the sweetest child in the world, polite, obedient, affectionate. Considering how difficult his presence made things, Nie Huaisang felt immense sympathy for his late brother, who'd had to deal with a hellspawn like himself. Nie Mingjue might have thought that his little brother would embarrass him or throw a fit out of jealousy if he tried to flirt with anyone… and Nie Huaisang couldn't deny he would have taken great joy in doing just that. 

At least, Jin Rusong meant no harm when he'd cried out just as Nie Huaisang, after a decade of hopelessness, was about to be kissed again by the man he loved. With the rough evening he'd had, the little boy also couldn't be blamed for being worried about falling asleep alone, so that had ended any chance for Nie Huaisang to have more time with Lan Xichen right then. 

In the morning, Nie Huaisang had the pleasant surprise of seeing Lan Xichen enter the room at the same time as the servant who brought breakfast. Although they usually dined together these days, to spend breakfast together was entirely new. 

"I have been awake for a while," Lan Xichen explained before Nie Huaisang could ask a single question. "Even here I usually follow our rules and…" 

He trailed off, a touch of red blooming on his cheeks as he stared a moment at Nie Huaisang, before promptly averting his eyes. Perhaps he remembered that he’d boldly offered to break some of those rules only the night before. Nie Huaisang certainly hadn’t forgotten.

"I was awake and thought I'd come see you," Lan Xichen quickly finished. "I hope you don't mind?" 

"I'm always happy to have you in my room," Nie Huaisang retorted, delighted to see the other man's blush deepen. He'd missed flirting. It had been a long while since he'd done that, and he felt rusty, but he was sure Lan Xichen would be forgiving. 

The three of them sat down for breakfast. Nie Huaisang, quite innocently, tried to sit next to Lan Xichen rather than Jin Rusong, but the child protested against that, saying he wanted to be sitting close to Lan Xichen. He then proceeded to also monopolise the conversation, clearly delighted to have both of his uncles at his disposal. Both men still attempted to flirt a little, but eventually had to give up and settle for exchanging fond looks over the table.

When breakfast was over, Nie Huaisang helped Jin Rusong get dressed and ready for his day while Lan Xichen watched. They all three went to the classroom, and as they walked Lan Xichen stood a little too close, causing his hand to brush against Nie Huaisang every so often. At least, he did so until Jin Rusong grabbed both their hands, seeming in an excellent mood that morning and determined to enjoy both his uncles at once.

When Jin Rusong had been handed to his teacher, there was a brief moment of awkwardness. Nie Huaisang stood silent near the classroom door, suddenly as nervous as a teenager with a crush. His only comfort was to see Lan Xichen equally anxious.

“Would you like to go for a walk?” Lan Xichen suggested. “We could��” he hesitated, pink dusting his face, and finished miserably: “we could walk.”

“I’d love to walk,” Nie Huaisang replied with too much eagerness.

Lan Xichen smiled, looking more shy and uncertain than he’d done the previous night. Nie Huaisang also found it harder to think about renewing their old connection, now that it was light around them. Without darkness to soften the world around them, he could remember every reason he’d given ten years earlier to argue against their little romance, every fear of a political disaster, of blackmail if they were discovered, of losing the last true friend he had. And yet even like that, Nie Huaisang knew he could not resist his feelings, not this time.

He was tired of denying himself the things he wanted, he thought as he reached out to take Lan Xichen’s hand.

And that was when Nie Funyu found them, and scolded Nie Huaisang for forgetting that he’d agreed to see a local magistrate that morning about a series of mysterious disappearances in a nearby town. The magistrate in question had been waiting for a while already, and was quite unhappy about it. Nie Huaisang had no choice but to follow his first disciple, and could not even offer Lan Xichen a chance for a lunch together, as it had already been agreed he would eat with that magistrate.

“Duty comes first,” Lan Xichen said with a thin smile that lacked its usual warmth.

It was a comfort, Nie Huaisang supposed, to know that he wasn’t the only one irritated by this unexpected interruption.

The meeting with that magistrate went well. Once the situation was explained, Nie Huaisang offered different ways to deal with it, so that some important people who appeared involved would not be offended if they were innocent, nor allowed a chance to escape he’d they’d done something nefarious. The magistrate appeared satisfied by the solution offered, as well as by the meal. Sadly, the man was of a curious nature, and hinted very strongly that he would like to be given a tour of the Unclean Realm, admitting he was fascinated with cultivation, though lacking any talent himself. 

Nie Huaisang had no choice but to show him around. This, in turn, meant that the amount of work he would normally have done during the afternoon piled up. Even when the magistrate had left, Nie Huaisang found himself busy with correspondence, before having to give some lessons to the juniors, as Nie Funyu occasionally insisted he did, “so the little ones know who you are, zongzhu”.

Then some other business came up, so that by the time Nie Huaisang was finally free to join Lan Xichen and Jin Rusong for dinner, they were almost done eating and he was exhausted. Even if he’d still had the energy to think of flirting, Jin Rusong happened to be in a chatty and joyful mood, demanding to play, and Nie Huaisang had to oblige until both of them were too sleepy to go on. Lan Xichen was very graceful about it, and offered to keep Jin Rusong for the night so that Nie Huaisang had a chance to sleep more deeply.

The offer was immediately taken, and Nie Huaisang stumbled back to his room where he dropped on his bed half dressed, too tired to bother with clothes.

The following day showed promises of more contradictions to Nie Huaisang’s plans. While he would have wanted to finally continue his conversation with Lan Xichen, as soon as he was done with his breakfast, some juniors came to find him to complain about a problem they were having. Someone’s cousin had said something about someone else’s fiancée, who happened to be close friends with the young master of a small sect who now threatened everyone with a duel. 

It was only a small dispute, but Nie Huaisang had seen what happened to arguments allowed to fester, so he gave the situation his full attention and wrote right away to some of the people concerned in an attempt to make everyone calm down. But then, since he had gone to his office to write those letters, Nie Funyu found him there and took the chance to make him review some bills that he thought were not quite right.

It was nearly noon when Lan Xichen knocked on the door of Nie Huaisang’s office. He appeared slightly disappointed to find that Nie Huaisang was not alone, which Nie Huaisang thought funny. Nie Funyu did not share his amusement, and his mood turned sour when Lan Xichen asked if he might keep them company. Nie Huaisang promptly agreed, which annoyed his first disciple. It would take a while until Nie Funyu no longer resented Lan Xichen for his former friendship with Jin Guangyao, but he would have to get over it. Nie Huaisang intended to keep Lan Xichen in his life.

He just wished they could have half a shichen to themselves to decide how to make that work.

An impossible wish, it seemed.

Still, at long last, lunch time came to free Nie Huaisang from his work. Not only that, but he knew that Nie Funyu was teaching all afternoon, meaning it would be that much easier to avoid work for a little while. 

Lunch was unmemorable. Some elders insisted that Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen eat with them, complaining that their sect leader had neglected them lately. It was not entirely untrue, but Nie Huaisang wished he could have neglected those elders today too. It wasn't even possible to chat with Lan Xichen in such company, though since they were sitting next to each other, their hands accidentally touched frequently. 

After they were done eating, Nie Huaisang promptly asked Lan Xichen if he would mind checking something with him in his quarter. Just as quickly, Lan Xichen agreed, and they both walked there a little more quickly than was dignified for two sect leaders, worried about more interruptions. 

There were none. Nobody stopped them on their way to Nie Huaisang’s quarters, and they were allowed to finally be alone together again. Nie Huaisang felt like a mischievous teenager trying to escape parental supervision to get naughty with their crush. He found that he quite enjoyed that. He hadn’t felt this young in years.

"I'm glad you're taking your duties more seriously, but surely your sect can function without you sometimes," Lan Xichen said as they closed the door behind them.

His voice warried with such petulance that Nie Huaisang almost laughed. 

"Xichen, were you getting impatient maybe?" came the teasing answer. 

A slight frown appeared on Lan Xichen's face, before he stepped closer and took Nie Huaisang’s hand. 

"Yes, I was." 

He said it so simply, as if it were evident. Perhaps it was, after having waited so many years for this. Nie Huaisang was hardly any better. Patience had been his main quality for a while, but now he was tired of waiting.

"Well, we're here now," he said, breathless. "I'm all yours, Lan Huan." 

Lan Xichen shivered at the use of that name, a first between them, and squeezed Nie Huaisang’s hand, with a tender smile on his lips. 

That smile disappeared when there was a knock on the door and Lan Xichen glared at it. Nie Huaisang felt just as disappointed, but was starting to find some humour in the situation. He almost laughed as he freed his hand from Lan Xichen's. 

Nie Mingjue was well avenged for every bit of trouble his brother had caused him. 

“Come in,” Nie Huaisang ordered. “Oh. Jin Yixin, is there a problem?”

Jin Yixin came into the room and bowed with cold elegance, while at her side Jin Rusong tried to copy her posture. He looked very serious, the way he always did around Jin Yixin, clearly trying to impress his teacher and prove that he was a worthy student.

“I come to Nie zongzhu to make a request,” she said. “Some of the concepts I’m trying to explain to the young master would profit from outdoor demonstrations. I was hoping you would allow me to take him outside of the Unclean Realm? I’ve tried using the gardens to make my point, but they are too touched by human minds and it does not work.”

The request made Nie Huaisang frown. 

It was nothing particularly strange, Nie teachers also took the younger juniors past the walls of the Unclean Realm sometimes, just for a shichen, to show something about… energies? It might have to do with energies. Nie Huaisang hadn’t paid attention as a child, and he still struggled with some of those concepts as an adult. What he understood, though, was that those concepts were important to cultivate in a solid, healthy manner, and he didn’t want to deprive Jin Rusong of a chance to learn well.

“Where would you go? And when?”

“There is a little field behind the Unclean Realm that’s uncultivated, and well within your borders,” Jin Yixin explained. “I was thinking of going there. Perhaps this afternoon? Of course it can wait if you’d rather check the place yourself first.”

“No, I think I see what you mean,” Nie Huaisang replied. “I used to go there sometimes to admire the view of the mountains, and to watch the birds that live around. I suppose there’s no harm…”

He hesitated. The idea of letting Jin Rusong leave the Unclean Realm, however briefly, however well accompanied, was deeply unpleasant. At the same time, a little field trip like that was likely to tire out the child, and if he could be convinced to go to sleep early…

They wouldn’t be going very far, he thought, and Jin Yixin came with the approval of both Jin Rulan and Jiang Wanyin. Nie Funyu, who had seen her train and even got to spar with her once, also vouched for her being a very strong cultivator. She’d taken part in the Sunshot Campaign even. Clearly she was someone who could be trusted with Jin Rusong’s safety.

“Take some of my disciples with you,” Nie Huaisang ordered. “And take some distress signals too. I don’t think Qinghe Nie’s reputation has fallen so low that anyone would dare to cause trouble so close to the Unclean Realm, but let’s take every precaution. SongSong, you will be very good and listen to your teacher, won’t you?”

The little boy enthusiastically promised, and was still grinning when Jin Yixin and him left the room to go find some people who might accompany them.

As soon as the door closed, Lan Xichen pressed Nie Huaisang against the nearest wall and kissed him, unwilling to risk any further delay. After a brief moment of surprise, Nie Huaisang wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist and pulled him closer, melting into the kiss.

It felt nothing like that miserable kiss they’d exchanged on the day of Nie Mingjue’s funeral. Back then it had felt like a farewell between them, while now Nie Huaisang could hope there would be more of this in the future. Lan Xichen’s passion in kissing him, the way their bodies were pressed together, certainly promised more.

They kissed against the wall for a while, impatiently clinging to each other. Then Lan Xichen, always so clever, suggested that there was a sofa right there, which might be more comfortable than to remain standing. Nie Huaisang felt tempted to point out that if comfort was an issue, his bed wasn’t very far either, and it would be even more comfortable. But the sofa was closer, and there was no urgency. They had found each other again at last, and had the rest of their lives to explore all they could want from that.

Although they’d started sitting on the sofa, before too long they were lying on it, Nie Huaisang straddling Lan Xichen, kissing him more slowly now as they allowed their hands to wander, enjoying accidental brushes of skin on skin, but making no effort to discard their layers of clothing. There was no rush, not now that they had each other, and Nie Huaisang thought he could have happily spent the rest of his life like this, nestled on a sofa with the man he loved, lazily kissing him.

Time passed around them without their notice, until a knock on the door forced them to return again to the world around them.

Nie Huaisang’s first thought was that he had to be cursed to never enjoy a single moment of peace. Then, noticing how the shadows had grown longer, he realised with some embarrassment that they’d been together like that for a long while, and it wasn’t so surprising that someone should be needing him for something or other. He tried to get up, only for Lan Xichen to hold him by the hips, keeping him in place. Nie Huaisang almost laughed, and seeing how handsome Lan Xichen was like this, flushed and with his lips so red, he couldn’t resist leaning for one more kiss.

Another knock on the door, insistent enough to make it shake, put an end to that. Nie Huaisang, surprised by such urgency, stood up. Lan Xichen did not stop him again, looking puzzled as well, and followed him when he went to open the door, both of them trying to put order to their appearance. 

One of his disciples was on the other side, looking distraught and breathless from running. 

“Nie zongzhu, there’s a problem,” he explained, speaking so fast it made him hard to understand. “The men who went with Jin Yixin and Jin xiao-gongzi have returned. They’ve been beaten up, they say they were ambushed and attacked.”

“What?” Nie Huaisang gasped, so shocked he had to support himself against the doorframe. “How…" A thought crossed his mind, and he grabbed the man's collar. "Where's Rusong?”

The man shook his head.

“Zonghzhu, he’s been taken.”

[chaolie]

"Home is where your heart is" [3/3] - How fast they grow

Soo this is late a day because I couldn't finish it yesterday, I hope that's fine?? But here's the last thing I wrote for @fundyfiles' Yogurt Days!

For clarity, this takes place a couple years after the last chapter, so Yogurt is basically a teen at this point and things happened. If by the end you're confused check out this story on Ao3, where I explained it more in the end notes!

Characters: Yogurt, Fundy, Foolish, Foolish Jr

Words: 2.4k

The moment he left the cave, Yogurt could tell he miscalculated the time. The sun was long gone from the sky and the moment he went outside, he almost ran straight into a zombie’s arms. With no better weapon to use, he swung his pickaxe at it before jumping back and moving away from it. His attack stopped it for a moment, but it was fast to follow him, reaching after him in an attempt to keep him from moving. The distance he managed to get was just barely enough to drop the tool and get his hands on a proper weapon, a sword Fundy gave him as soon as he was able to hold one. With that ready to use, he had no trouble with defeating the monster and felt safe moving further through the forest.

Not too long after and with just a few monsters he had to fight on the way, he finally reached his shelter - his house. The old cottage was mostly dark except for a single lantern by the door and a torch burning dimly inside. Not taking any chances, he didn’t slow down nor lower his weapon until he was safely inside and the door was closed. Just then, he rested the sword against the wall and slowly walked deeper into the building, stopping to crouch down by two furnaces.

He set down the bag previously thrown over his shoulder and pulled out some coal from it, putting it into the furnaces somewhat equally. Then, he took out the more valuable thing he managed to find in the cave, a few blocks of gold ore, and without a moment to waste he put them inside to smelt them. He nodded to himself and stepped back, leaving the bag on the floor and approaching one of the chests instead. He briefly looked through it, pushing away all the items that shouldn’t be there in the first place before triumphantly pulling out a spider eye.

He grew to like the taste. He tried them plenty of times as a child, usually as an accident, it was hard to spot one out in a pile of berries, and he strongly disliked them back then. Now, though, now he knew what to expect when he ate one, he could brace himself better, and he ended up liking them more than he thought he could. He didn’t eat them too often either, he had a feeling his dad wouldn’t be happy if he did so, but eating one every now and then couldn’t hurt too much, could it? He could swear it did quite the opposite, really, felt as if each time he ate them, they had less of an effect on him.

Once he was done with the ‘snack’ and a couple of extra berries he grabbed to make sure he wouldn’t get hungry too soon, he was ready to head to bed. He moved his bag away from the working furnaces, brought his sword further from the door and hid it in one of the chests by the bed, and finally lied down on top of the sheets. He’d hide under them, but the night was surprisingly warm and he didn’t feel like melting in his sleep. He stretched before resting his head on the pillow, but rather than closing his eyes, he caught himself staring at the ceiling.

The bed felt too big for him. Well, it shouldn’t be too surprising, it was the size of three normal beds after all. Too big and too small, that was the better way to put it. He wanted to fill it, but he felt wrong for taking up as much space as he was now. He tried to ignore that feeling for a while, just close his eyes and let his tiredness take over, but it was too persistent to just disappear. With a sigh, he sat up, closed his eyes, and with the very little effort it took him, shapeshifted into a fox. He’d try sleeping normally some other night, he promised himself as he curled up into a ball on one of the pillows. It always felt better to sleep like that, especially in this bed.

Early in the morning, Yogurt was already leaving the cottage again. He took the sword he put away the night before, he re-packed his bag before throwing it over his shoulder and walking out of the house. He had to walk through the forest for just a few minutes before making it to the nether portal Fundy and he made a long while back. It still worked perfectly fine, and it was still connected to the same place in the other dimension, which apparently was somewhat rare. He fixed his grip on his sword before stepping through, preparing for the absolute heatwave to hit him.

He didn’t like traveling through the nether, it was far too hot for his liking. He didn’t like the weather his destination would have either, he’d pick somewhere colder any other day, but today he had a purpose. A plan so great he was willing to endure all this lava and fire and hot desert sands. An idea that put a smile on his face if he even thought about it. Making sure his bag was steadily on his shoulder and it wouldn’t accidentally catch on fire, he sped up, and soon enough, a new portal came into view.

“Finally,” he sighed to himself as he reached it. Maybe the hot weather on the other side wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be better for sure. And there would be some nice views to make up for it, too.

Foolish’s pyramid was as impressive as always, so beautiful and so giant. Knowing well how cool it is inside, in the shade, Yogurt didn’t wait long before quietly sneaking inside. Its owner was inside for sure, he knew that, but the man was probably still asleep. Who would want to get up when it's so hot outside, after all? He walked around it for a bit, looking around and making sure no one was near before finding just the right spot. It was somewhat hidden, but somewhat close to the entrance, exactly what he was looking for. With a grin just growing on his face, he knelt down on the sandstone and put down his bag. He had everything, and if he didn’t, he’d find a way around it. He planned this for too long to let himself fail.

Without a moment to waste, he got to work.

It took surprisingly long for anyone to spot him.

“...Yogurt?” someone finally asked, recognizing him. He paused, both of his hands resting against a dispenser he was just installing. Then, he spun around.

“Hi!” he greeted, and to his relief, no one but the person calling his name was there. He knew Junior wouldn’t tell on him without a good reason.

“What are you doing?” he asked, stepping a bit closer to get a better look at the machine behind Yogurt.

“Building a little… something. For your dad,” he explained. Junior looked his masterpiece over with confusion, so the boy continued. “It’s loud, annoying, and hard to turn off. I really want to see him try,” he added with a grin.

“Oh,” Junior nodded before taking a seat on the sandstone. “Don’t hurry, then. He’s out to collect more sand, it takes a while,” he assured. With a grateful nod, Yogurt got back to putting the dispenser just right.

“That’s good to know,” he muttered, stepping to his side and fidgeting with a repeater for a moment. “Do you want to watch?”

“Yeah!” Junior confirmed. More confident in his skills, Yogurt continued to work, sometimes reaching down into his bag and pulling out a few more components he needed. After a while, he noticed a look of confusion growing on his friend’s face.

“Any questions?” he asked. Junior nodded and pointed near Yogurt’s feet.

“What’s with the bag?” he questioned. Slightly disappointed that it wasn’t about his genius contraption, Yogurt sighed.

“My dad gave it to me. I can’t hold too many things, two or three get hard, so I carry items in there,” he explained, and Junior nodded.

“Mhm. And what does that thing over there do?” he asked another question, pointing at a piston attached to a currently-off redstone clock. A grin returned to Yogurt’s face as he approached the part of his machine he was pointed to.

“I’m glad you asked…!”

“W-what’s going on here?!” Foolish asked, running into his pyramid and looking around in confusion. Junior ran in just behind him.

“I don’t know!” he lied, looking around as if he didn’t know where Yogurt’s contraption was.

“Hm… maybe…” his dad hummed, starting to walk around the building, searching for the source of the strange noises Junior warned him about. Yogurt, meanwhile, was hidden behind a pillar and doing his best to muffle his giggles.

It took Foolish full 7 minutes to find the boy’s machine, and Junior somehow managed to keep an innocent face through it all. Yogurt was really glad about that, every time they tried to work on something together, his friend seemed to be getting better at that. Foolish spent another minute walking around the contraption and trying to figure out what it did, why it did it, and how to turn it off. Then, he finally found a button the boy hoped he would, and cautiously pressed it. When a gold ingot shot out of a nearby dispenser and landed just by his feet, he initially jumped back. Then, encouraged by it even if the loud noises the contraption was making didn’t get any quieter, he pressed it again.

When another dispenser started to mercilessly spit out golden nuggets upon golden nuggets, basically showering Foolish in the valuable yet incredibly annoying items, Yogurt couldn’t help but burst out in laughter. Even that was tuned out by the loud contraption, though, so he could probably safely stay in his hiding spot and watch the man struggle to stop the machine from being loud and giving gold in the worst possible way, but he felt like he should leave anyway. As soon as he collected himself, he got up, secured his bag, and broke into a sprint across the pyramid. He could swear Foolish turned around and caught a glimpse of him as he was leaving, but he didn’t chase after him.

Good. There was still somewhere Yogurt needed to get, and he couldn’t spend too much time hiding and running. He couldn’t be late.

Crossing the nether never felt so quick, but before he knew it he was in the overworld again. And to his delight, a colder part of it. He took a moment to enjoy just that, the air he could freely breathe and the icy wind that felt so nice against his skin. Then, he started to walk, admittedly slowly this time, just enjoying this nice, chilly afternoon. His home wasn’t too far away anyway.

The building was nice, he really liked how it looked. It felt welcoming, and the lights always seemed to be on. He carefully walked up to the door and knocked on it a few times. At first, he was met with silence, but just a moment later he could hear footsteps thumping inside. And then, the door opened and he was greeted by a cheerful figure of his dad.

“Yogurt!” the man smiled at his son, stepping back from the door to let him inside. “Come in, come in,” he encouraged, and the boy gladly did so.

“Hi, Dad,” he greeted once he was inside, and Fundy closed the door behind him.

“I was wondering if you were going to show up,” he joked, his son chuckling nervously.

“Yeah… Sorry, I was doing… a thing,” he explained, and Fundy nodded.

“Was it fun?” he asked, and the boy nodded eagerly. “You can tell me all about it while we eat, then,” he offered.

“Yeah! What food do we have?” Yogurt asked, and his dad was already starting to head to the kitchen.

“I’m almost done baking some steak,” he answered. Smiling brightly at that, his son followed him. “And what did you eat for the past two days?”

“Uh… mostly berries,” Yogurt admitted, looking back at the time he spent in the house. “Some bread and chicken, too,” he added, and Fundy nodded.

“Good,” he praised. “If you need any extra food, let me know.”

“I will,” his son assured. He could already smell the dinner in the air, and he could tell it'd be tasty.

“And did he turn it off in the end?” Fundy asked, doing his best to muffle his laugh. Yogurt shrugged.

“I don’t know, I ran when he pressed the button the second time,” he answered, and his dad nodded.

“That’s probably for the best,” he agreed. “That sounds like an impressive contraption,” he added.

“Thanks! I’ll ask Junior how it ended the next time I see him,” Yogurt answered, very visibly proud of himself after hearing the compliment. Fundy laughed.

“I bet I’ll know first, when Foolish comes to ask me if I helped you,” he guessed, and the boy had to admit it was very probable. “I’ll let you know what he thought of it.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Yogurt smiled. Then, he glanced at the window and noticed the sky slowly turning orange. The sun was about to start setting. “Uh oh,” he muttered to himself, and Fundy’s gaze followed his.

“Oh, looks like you’ll have to leave soon if you want to make it before it’s too dark,” he realized. Then, he glanced in the direction of his bedroom. “Unless you want to stay here for the night.”

“I…” Yogurt hesitated. He was the one to request that his dad let him stay in their old place, it was his idea, but… “I think I want to stay home tonight,” he decided. Fundy nodded.

“Sure. I’ll go get some clean sheets for your bed, then,” he agreed, getting up from the table.

“I can wash the plates,” the boy offered, and Fundy paused for a moment before smiling.

“Thanks,” he nodded, and the boy got up to collect the dishes.

He liked sleeping at home. It always felt cozy, and even if his dad apologized time and time again for the beds there ‘not being as comfortable’, he couldn’t even tell the difference. His bed here never felt too big nor too small, and… he liked this place. He enjoyed going to the house, but staying at home with his dad was always a treat.

[sevsnapeposts]

Snapetober Day 1: Autumn.

hi everyone! today finally starts the snapetober, are you excited? i sure am. so i decided to write for it, but will eventually (once october is done) do art for every day. today we start with a recollection of memories throughout the years from Prue's POV. you can read it over in ao3 if you'd like, and also if you'd be kind enough, go give me some kudos over there. thanks, hope you enjoy~.

Day 1 - Autumn.

---

1993.

Prue was on the Hogwarts Express, heading to London, where she would meet the Malfoys to spend the holidays with them. Usually her mood would be pessimistic and she would find herself terrified to imagine what was going to get into her room on any of those nights, but honestly, the girl couldn't think of anything other than her Potions professor.

If she closed her eyes, she couldn't help but sigh, remembering each second intensely, her heart racing as she imagined his face shocked at her, at the actions she had taken. Her pulse reached its peak when she recalled everything she saw then, as if time had stopped to give her the opportunity to perfectly memorize the details, even the smallest of them: Black hair surrounding the pale face, agitated by the staggering and the autumn air that little by little became more wintry with the passing of the days; confused, puzzled, and a tinge of scared,black eyes, unsure what the hell was going on, and also (and Prue blushed just thinking about it) expectant, hopeful; pale skin gently reddened at certain points, such as the cheekbones and the tip of the nose, due to the cold and, she dared to suspect, due to her, to her closeness to him; and finally, the area where her attention had focused the most: His lips, thin and pale, slightly parted, perhaps because they were ready to say "what the bloody hell is wrong with you, Pennyworth?"sentence that was never heard.

The girl had wondered many times, over the last few weeks, what it would be like to feel those lips on hers. Were they as cold as the words that his owner spoke with them? Or would they be warm and kind like his hands that day that he accompanied her in her solitude?

She smiled widely, for the second time in her life, thinking that she finally knew the answers to her questions.

1994.

If there was one thing she never thought could happen to her, it was having a boyfriend. She knew she was complicated and difficult, and she wouldn't have been surprised to spend the rest of her life not romantically intimate with anyone… But it had happened, much to her surprise.

And, even to her greatest surprise, something happened that had seemed even more unlikely: she was the one who ended the relationship. He didn’t throw her away, he didn’t abandon her as practically everyone else, he didn’t leave her. Even when the relationship ended, he didn’t do any of that, because he was still with her, as her friend, perfectly understanding that one does not rule in love.

It happens that she wasn’t able to bear someone else's heart, not when she knew that hers was beating strongly for that man with eyes as dark as his robes. Prue understood now, sitting under one of the huge trees that marked the beginning of the Forbidden Forest, surrounded by brown and orange and yellow and green leaves, that it wasn’t that she would never find someone for her, but rather, that she didn’t want someone other than him.

1995.

Prue was hating badly that year. Not even the cookie-scented breeze provided any consolation for how gross it was to have that damn pink toad (ruining her favorite color, by the way) shutting down basically everything good at Hogwarts.

What did serve as comfort, however, was the fact that Severus sympathized with her at her annoyance for that woman. One day, she had even managed to make him laugh — Severus bloody Snape, laughing openly in front of her. Prue had never seen anything so cute, something that could completely melt her cold heart. Her powerful memory perfectly captured that moment, treasuring it alongside the memory of two years ago. Those were things that she would never forget, things that would forever be in her heart, and things that were reproduced in her imagination while the pink toad taught her.

1996.

The echo of the rain traveled all the way down from the surface of the Dark Lake, the air up there being so wild that it dragged a lot of the fallen leaves and twigs into the water, making everyone thankful to be inside the castle, warm from the fire in the chimneys, eating pumpkin and butter biscuits.

Prue wasn't eating any biscuits however, but she didn’t mind. From the huge window she could clearly see how the Lake was disturbed by the storm, even though she was several feet below the surface. Beside her lay her teacher, fast asleep and more than likely exhausted. She took advantage of that moment to admire his features, so relaxed and soft, doing justice to the kind of person he was, to the feelings that were in him, and in her, and between them. She wanted to touch him, and caress him, and wander over his skin again, every part of his skin, with her lips.

Her memory was prodigious, and she knew every part of him.

But her body wasn't, and she was determined to tattoo her skin with his.

1997.

It wasn't going to be easy, she knew, even though they'd only been in school for a couple of months. Voldemort wasn't there, personally, but all the bloody putrefaction in him was. It was flooding London, and Diagon Alley, and Hogsmeade, and Hogwarts, and Severus. He looked worse every day, as if his own death was drawing closer and closer, and Prue knew it was a very likely possibility.

Not only was he at risk. Less, true, but she was also in danger, Voldemort's gaze was on her, very interested in her performance and with a clear desire to recruit her. She was powerful, young, gifted in Dark Arts and from a pure-blood family: Everything Voldemort valued.

And Prue was terrified, even though her expression was as blank as ever. For her to a lesser extent, for him mainly, and for whatever was in store for the Magical World.

But she would be strong, for the same reasons that terrified her, and one way or another, she would see Severus laugh again.

1998.

It had been several months since things were finally over, as far as Prue was concerned. The school year had started a bit late, but Hogwarts had finally reopened its doors to students. Minerva McGonagall was the headmistress, and Severus went back to the Potions, and she went back to him.

It was the first Saturday of the year. Severus was sitting next to her, both hiding in one of Hogwarts' secret gardens, where no one could find them except, perhaps, McGonagall, but the woman liked Severus (and Prue) enough to not interrupt their intimate time together.

‘Intimate’ as in holding hands, her head resting on his shoulder, whilst silently watching the sky, as so many years ago they had done. In the center of the garden was a tree, with leaves that were turning more and more yellow and orange. INot a single one had fallen yet, and Prue, for some reason, really wanted to witness the event.

The young girl, almost a woman now, turned her piercing green eyes from it to her companion. He was looking back at her now, black eyes with a different glow, one that brought life to his entire face and made her heart race like a restless child in summer. Without saying anything, because there was no need, the young woman approached him, closing her eyes, soon feeling the soft contact of his lips for the first time in a long time.

When Prue pulled away from Severus, out of the corner of her eye she noticed movement, and she turned just in time to see an orange and red-hued leaf hit the ground after gliding gently in the wind. She smiled like she only did when she was with him. Before giving him time to ask, because she knew that he had noticed her smile and felt the joy that basically radiated from her, the young woman spoke:

"I would like to spend the rest of my autumns with you”.

Severus didn't reply, but his smile said more than enough.

[saeransboy]

Hope

Pairing: Saeran Choi / Male CMC (Rowan)

Word Count: 4177

Warnings: Spoilers for the Secret Endings, hospitals

Notes: this is my piece for the @nostringsdetached zine!! i'm so happy that i got to participate, and that it got so much support. you can get the full zine bundle for free, as well as see my partner @mm12578's accompanying art for this piece, at this link.

you can also read this here on ao3!! i hope you enjoy!!

Saeran was unhappy.

Though not an uncommon feeling for the other man after all he'd been through, being in the hospital evoked the feeling strongly. He was constantly feeling judged, being watched, and it felt suffocating. His lack of choice was all too obvious now. If having most of the control he had over his own body being taken away wasn't enough, being forced to see people he didn't want to deal with was the final nail in his coffin.

It was overwhelming, upsetting, and made him want to disappear more than ever before. Trying to shut out the rest of the world wasn't an option, as it only forced its way in. Unless he had to answer whoever stopped by, Saeran ignored their questions and small talk, and eventually they gave up. Everyone had, except for that boy.

Rowan had been easy enough to lure to the apartment. He obviously hadn't trusted Saeran, and was just as uneasy around the RFA at first. However, he stayed to work as their party coordinator simply because he "had nothing better to do". Of course, with the tense situation that developed, he became far from bored. "Terrified" was a better descriptor.

The guilt Saeran felt over that was overwhelming. He'd been the one to choose Rowan, to lure him in, to try to kidnap him. He killed a man right in front of him. Had it not been for him, the party coordinator wouldn't have ever been dragged into this. Which made it all the more confusing when he came to visit alongside his brother.

The ex-hacker had been so shocked at his appearance, he remained silent only because he wasn't sure what to say. His guest left defeated, but he returned alone the next day, and the next. In fact, despite Saeran's silence, Rowan kept showing up, coming by to ramble at him about his day-to-day life and eventually to sit quietly and read. The silence was a lot more comfortable.

He let the silence remain til the other man came to his defense from a rude nurse. After that, he hesitantly reached out, reigniting his guest's desire to speak to him. The ex-hacker barely replied, and his guest enthusiastically continued on like it was normal. It started off shakily, and he would cut short any inquiries on his wellbeing and brushed off Rowan's attempts at comfort on bad days, but it went well.

They had made a lot of progress since then.

The last time Rowan was here, he held his hand. The other man had sensed his upset and reached to comfort him. Despite his first instinct to push him away, he accepted it without argument, not returning the favor or rejecting it. It felt so warm. When was the last time he got to feel another’s touch without being hurt or manipulated in the process? A brief image of his brother’s arms wrapping around him flashes in his mind, and he scowls.

Saeyoung. Saeran still wasn’t alright with him, not fully, but he was trying. As much as he hated it, he was jealous of his twin. Not just for his carefree lifestyle all these years or the friends that supported him so steadfastly, but for his relationship with Rowan. When he saw them, they were laughing and falling over each other or comforting one another. There was always some physical contact, and so much trust.

Rowan had confirmed that no, they weren’t together like he had assumed, but the bond they shared was perfectly sweet. He felt starved watching them. It was then, when he deciphered what that tension he felt when he saw them together was, that he faced his feelings for the brunette.

He was smitten. Completely, utterly, sickeningly smitten; when he realized his feelings, he had grown so nauseated it made his head spin. He wasn’t entirely sure he was in that deep, but only such a dramatic word could describe the heaviness with which it weighed on him. Someone like him wasn't meant for feelings like this.

The next time Rowan visited, Saeran blamed his suddenly more reserved behavior on the medicine he was being given. He wasn’t questioned, but the guilt of lying stung.

Saeran couldn't let himself feel this. It was inevitable that he would prove himself yet again to be a monster. He would hurt Rowan and it was eating him alive, but he'd rather let the feeling fester inside of him than cause the man any more pain or stress. It was easier said than done.

Nothing had filled that deep, all-encompassing void of guilt inside of him but the other man's visits. Hiis quips and words of comfort provided some relief. It was barely making a change, but the air still felt lighter around him. There was no tension, no distrust, and he never felt cornered.

He could just exist, never feeling pressured to do any more than that.

These awful feelings threw a wrench into that, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. Just like every other thought and feeling, he wanted to push it down in the hopes of suffocating it until it was quiet or died. Or until it explodes and destroys everyone around you, a small voice in the back of his mind whispers. That was just as likely, and the thought terrified him. His hands clench in the thin sheets of the bed, trying to ground himself the best he can.

Downstairs, Rowan worries his bottom lip between his teeth, tapping his boot nervously against the ground as he waits for his security escort. He knows his anxiety comes off as impatience to the staff, giving him more room than everyone else as he leans against the wall, and he lets it stay that way. With the feelings swarming in his mind, he was sure that any invasion of his space might set him off.

After countless visits, coming to see Saeran during his recovery became a routine he enjoyed greatly. It wasn't always this nice; the first few times, he came with Saeyoung, but after being met with silence, he persuaded the hacker to let him come on his own. Nothing changed at first, the room being filled with an awkward silence as Rowan attempted one-sided conversations. The man refused to respond, rarely even offering him a glance. It frustrated him to no end; even after dropping his own guard, he hadn't gotten anywhere.

Eventually he gave up on trying to communicate, simply coming to sit in the corner and read. It had to be lonely, being stuck there, so he figured having another heartbeat in the room that wasn't poking or prodding him or interrogating him on his mental state might help. The tension in the air had quickly faded into something more peaceful, and some of Saeran's guard visibly slipped away. That was good enough for Rowan; as long as he wasn't actively being shut out, it was still progress.

Surprisingly, Saeran was the one to break the silence, though not without good reason. Much to their annoyance, a nurse interrupted their visitation, disturbing the peaceful co-existence they had with each other. She was everything Rowan hated to see: pushy, unsympathetic, and completely uncaring about his mental wellbeing.

It made his heart hurt, seeing the other man flinch when she slammed her clipboard down on his bedside table. Every word out of her mouth was ridicule, and though he knew the ex-hacker was used to such talk, that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

When she left with one last comment on how scrawny he still was, Rowan didn't hesitate to jump up from his seat. Following behind, he proceeded to chew her out. For her complete lack of experience, for her apathy, for taking out whatever the hell was wrong with her on Saeran. It wasn't long before his voice raised, but he was careful not to start screaming. The last thing he wanted was to upset the already stressed man more.

It didn't surprise Rowan that his friendly feelings grew into something stronger, but that didn't make the realization any less terrifying. For the first few days, he struggled to reel himself back in, trying to shove his feelings to the back of his mind so he could be there for the other man without guilt eating away at him. Being so friendly to him only felt like he was taking advantage of the man's barely earned trust.

It didn't last, as he noticed Saeran growing increasingly tense at his less emotional, more closed-off responses. With a quick explanation, claiming he'd not been feeling like himself -- not a complete lie, as such a deep feeling had knocked him off his feet -- and that he was sorry, he mended the situation and forced himself to swallow his guilt.

He could tell Saeran didn't fully believe him, but the man was obviously relieved to have things back to normal the next visit, when Rowan came in grinning. It earned him a small smile in return, the first he'd seen from the man.

Rowan is torn from his reminiscing by a security guard clearing her throat. She nods towards an open elevator. "Come on, tough guy. I'll drop you off." Though he bristles at the obviously mocking title, he doesn't argue, not wanting to get kicked out. Instead, he trails after her and steps in, trying to calm the fluttering that starts up in his chest at the thought of seeing the other man.

The ride up is tense, the brunette almost lunging forward when the doors slide open. "Thanks," he calls over his shoulder with a scowl. Though he always looked forward to the visits, he hated dealing with the staff. Setting his eyes on Saeran's door, he picks up the pace, hurrying down the hall as fast as he can despite his slight nervousness.

Before Saeran's thoughts can spiral anymore out of control, the all-too-familiar sound of chains clinking together sounds down the hall, the thoughts slipping from his mind to let him focus. It was definitely him; despite the noisiness of his entrance, the steps sounded hesitant, stumbling over themselves. The awkwardness always manages to make his heart feel a bit lighter, some of the dread that had been bubbling up inside of him slipping away.

As expected, the footsteps come towards his room, stopping just outside for a moment. There's a pause, his guest taking a moment for a deep breath, before the door is cautiously pushed open. Rowan jumps a bit upon seeing him, obviously not expecting Saeran to be sat up waiting for him. The surprised look on his face quickly fades into a soft smile, some of the tension he entered with easing from his shoulders.

The man always put up a tough exterior, Saeran knew, but he trusted him enough to let that down. Whether that was because he wanted mutual trust or because he was just plain stupid, the ex-hacker wasn't quite sure, but it never bothered him, and he never bought up the subject.

The brunette shuffles his way over to him without a word, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed. Everything about him is a contradiction: the gentle look on his face combined with his dark and intentionally rough exterior, the way he avoided eye contact despite his obvious distaste at being seen as a pushover, how he still wandered to his side like a clueless puppy despite all Saeran had done, as if he wasn't dangerous.

That frustrated him most of all. He was trying so hard to protect everyone for once after he had planned to destroy their lives. It was like the male could see right through him, but never saw what Saeran wanted him to.

As usual, Rowan slouches forward, giving him that stupid grin that made his stomach flutter and twist up all at the same time. "Sorry I'm late, but I'm sure you're used to it now. Have you eaten yet? I kinda had to skip lunch, didn't have time." He trips over his words mid-sentence, distracted by the way that his heavy jacket slips off his shoulder.

Every visit started the same, his visitor pitifully trying to disguise his fretting as small talk and him offering up muttered responses. It was still progress from how they started, but Saeran always felt some guilt seeing how much effort the other man put into trying to talk to him. Wanting to change that the best he could, he tries speaking up some, clearing his throat. ''No. I don't like the food."

Contradictory to the pout he usually gives at that response, Rowan's eyes light up. "Great! Um. Not that you haven't eaten because the food sucks. Just... gimme a second." With that, he hops up from his seat, scurrying back to the door, nearly forgetting to put up his facade before motioning for a nurse.

Saeran can't decipher much from his position, only picking up on the word "privacy" and the dirty look the man shoots the nurse when she shakes her head. Only a few more words are exchanged before his expression brightens, and he whirls back around.

To his surprise, the unusually peppy man closes the door. That had never been allowed before, both for Saeran's safety and his visitor's. But Rowan was always rather convincing, not to mention stubborn, so it wasn't too shocking that he was the one earning him that right.

The act now fully slipped away again, Rowan practically trips over his feet moving back, rummaging through the pockets of his oversized jacket for something. Had it been anyone else, he might've been paranoid or distrusting, but he knew the man in front of him wasn't a threat in the slightest.

Once again stunning Saeran, the man pulls out ice cream -- an entire tub of it. Mint chocolate, he noted, feeling his heart skip a beat at the realization that he had remembered his favorite flavor. Outside food was also previously off-limits, and guessing from the way he had asked for privacy, it still was.

Once again, the man isn't making sense. Not only has he gone out of his way to visit daily, staying even on Saeran's worst days until he's either asked to leave or is forced out by the staff, now he's breaking rules and risking trouble for himself all for his sake. Why? He was a monster and a murderer, and he's being smuggled in gifts?

All of the kindness he was offered was foreign to him, and perhaps that was for the best. He didn't deserve any of it. All he deserves is to rot in this awful place, his nose constantly stinging from the scent of medicine and his eyes burning under the blindingly bright fluorescent light.

"...Saeran?" Broken out of his trance, he shakes his head, feeling a tinge of annoyance seeing the red that reflects off the bedpost in his peripheral. His natural color hadn't grown back much, but it was enough to put a scowl on his face. Not once did he want to let the white fade, wanting to have some semblance of separation from his brother, but he didn't have a choice. Not here, not anywhere.

Only Rowan ever offered him control, and even he himself was limited in what he could allow. It wasn't fair. That, too, made him grateful for his stubborn visitor. It was rare for him to give up when he had his mind set on something, and that gave Saeran a lot more freedom than he would have without him.

"I'm fine," he reassures. Rowan doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't pry, instead placing the tub on the sheets between them before digging in his pocket for a packet of utensils, unmistakably snagged from the hospital's cafeteria. Placing it in his resting hand, the man gives a paranoid glance back towards the door before grinning widely.

"I don't think they're onto me, so go ahead and eat up." Though he hesitates a moment, Saeran reaches out to pull the ice cream into his lap, popping the lid and taking a scoop. It's slightly melted as expected; it couldn't have made the trip by motorcycle all the way over here and through the wait downstairs totally unscathed. It's tasty nonetheless, a huge relief from the blandness of the food he had to eat here. Before long, he's digging in, feeling starved despite having the three meals a day rule enforced on him.

After a couple of minutes, he glances up at his guest, perplexed to find him entertaining himself by winding a loose thread of the sheets around his finger. It was rare that Rowan was this quiet for so long, and even stranger that he wasn't busying himself the same way that Saeran was. Sinking his spoon into the cold mint, he hums to get the other man's attention. Immediately his eyes are on him, deep blue piercing into him and making him melt and tense up all at the same time.

"What are you doing?" He asks, eyes flitting between his face and the string half-wound around his finger. The other man glances away sheepishly, though he doesn't flinch at his blunt tone; yet another thing they were making progress on. Rowan pauses, searching for a good answer and sighing in defeat when he can't find one.

"...sitting here?" He answers quietly, giving Saeran an uncertain look. "I don't really have anything to do. I was already running late, so when I swung by the store, I just grabbed the ice cream and left."

"Didn't you say you didn't eat lunch?" The redhead questions with a raised brow. The silence lingering in the room tells him all he needs to know. Huffing, he shoves the tub towards him without a second thought, surprising the both of them. It was unusual for him to share anything, especially this, but he wasn't about to pull his foot back when he was already taking a step forward. "Go on. You'll make yourself sick if you don't."

Though he wouldn't admit it out loud -- he wasn't sure he could even if he really wanted to -- Saeran cared for the other man deeply. It wasn't just the budding feelings of affection. His worry for his wellbeing, though underlying, had lingered ever since the party coordinator had set foot in that apartment.

If he didn't care, he wouldn't have stopped him from stepping on the glass from the window. Of course he would've, the idiot, and back then he told himself it was because it'd be easier to transport him if he went uninjured. Now, the truth was obvious.

Reassured by his adamance, Rowan reaches out to take the tub. While keeping a close eye on Saeran's face to check for any signs that he might change his mind, he fails to notice how close their hands get, accidentally brushing their fingers together as he grabs it. The touch is minimal, lasting under a second, but it still startles them both. The brunette gasps, nearly dropping the ice cream as Saeran pulls back.

For a moment they're both silent, staring at each other with flushed cheeks and unreadable expressions. Saeran knows why he reacted that way, but… what about the other man? Was he afraid of him? He didn't look frightened, only embarrassed and a bit flustered. Though there was no reason for him to be flustered, right? Maybe he was just touch-repulsed. They had a lot in common, after all. It was obvious the party coordinator's mind was spiraling just as much as his, the panic in his eyes blindingly obvious.

Trying his best not to overthink and to diffuse the situation, Saeran grumbles and snatches up the spoon, getting another scoop and nudging it against the boy's lips. It smudges against his nose, making him blink in surprise. His fingers coming up to up to wipe away the small bit, he laughs, some of his nerves obviously soothed. Good, Saeran thinks; he can barely handle his own emotions, let alone someone else's.

Holding the spoon out like a threat, he stares blankly at him. "Take it. I'm not feeding you. And sit over here so you don't drop it; that's the last thing we need." He curls his legs in, giving the taller man more room.

The brunette sits on the edge of the bed and takes the spoon happily, fixing his attention on the ice cream as he… purposefully seeks out the chocolate chips, to the point where his spoonful is more chocolate than ice cream. Weird, but Saeran doesn't argue.

Some part of him finds it cute, and he shakes his head, desperately trying to swat the thought away. He had hoped that the feelings would fade, but they were blossoming into something far more dreadful with every visit. That wasn't Rowan's fault; it was his own for not keeping himself under control.

These feelings would have to die with him, he concludes, blinking rapidly to bring himself back. When those blue eyes turn upwards to glance at him, he knows he's been caught getting lost in his mind. Bracing himself for the obvious question, he accepts the tub pushed back to him, tensing when the other man speaks up just as he gets a mouthful.

"What's buggin' you?" Rowan asks, his brows furrowed with concern. Taking his time to let the ice cream melt in his mouth, Saeran answers with a shrug. Remembering his earlier attempt to be more open, he sighs, nudging around a chocolate chip as he tries to think of a good way to put his thoughts into words without exposing his feelings.

"...Is it okay for me to feel things?" It's a clumsy question, and he mentally kicks himself for a multitude of reasons: for how stupid he sounds, for burdening the other man when he'd already been through so much because of him, for the way he's just now noticed his hands shaking. But none of this seems to bother Rowan, who smiles gently and nods.

"It is. I promise." Saeran jumps when Rowan's hand seeks out his, giving it a light, comforting squeeze. He seems oblivious to his own actions, getting lost in thoughts of his own. "It feels… wrong, right? Like anything that isn't terrible isn't for you, and that you're meant to be miserable in silence. It's lonely."

The hand resting on his presses down slightly, and despite the conflicting feelings whirling in his mind, Saeran moves his hand, entwining their pinkies together. He isn't sure what feelings the other man is hiding, but it makes some part of his heart hurt knowing that he's suffering too.

"I've felt lonely a lot," He continues, staring out the window with a solemn expression. It's quiet for a while, Rowan staring at the clouds and Saeran staring at him. Finally, a soft smile tugs at the brunette's lips, and he turns his attention back to him. "I won't let you be lonely too. Not anymore. Okay?"

Saeran's face feels warmer, but he doesn't let himself turn away, fixing his eyes on one of the freckles dotting the other man's cheeks as he hums an acknowledgement and squeezes his hand. Only now does Rowan notice the way their pinkies are curled around each other, but before he can pull back, Saeran tightens his grip. Not enough to trap him, but enough to get across his message. He can't bring himself to say it out loud, but all he wants is for the other man to stay.

Out of the corner of his eye, Rowan's eyes are swimming with something he doesn't know how to define. It's sweet, warm, making him feel melted on the inside despite his uncertain exterior. As much as he hates being stared at, he isn't sure he wants the other man to look away. The ice cream was next to them, slowly melting in its container; at any point Rowan could remember and turn his attention away.

As if reading his mind, he doesn't. Instead he curls his knees up to his chest, gazing at him with all the affection in the world. It makes Saeran's mind wander, but for once, the thoughts are welcome. Being cared about like this… it makes him feel like maybe he isn't destined to die alone and unloved as he feared.

"Thank you," his visitor says, voice barely above a whisper. "I'll stay right here with you, as long as you'll have me."

"I will," Saeran manages. "You'll come around regardless."

"But do you mind?"

"...No." The corners of his lips twitch up into a weak smile. It's obvious he's unused to the expression, but he isn't thinking about how he might look strange. Around Rowan, his heart feels lighter.

Falling into a comfortable silence, the redhead watches the clouds through the slightly foggy hospital window, feeling the other man's eyes on him, admiring him. He isn't quite sure what it means, but allowing his feelings to linger, Saeran lets himself hope.

[jamestrmtx]

Wish Upon a Night Sky - [Beastars | Various x Reader]

[Female, Sheep Reader | Slow Burn]

Act Six, Scene Two | Fight or Flight

[Act One Link] | [Act Six, Scene One Link] | [Act Six Scene Three Link]

Your hopes over maintaining a routine are put to the test the moment after you're done studying for the day. 

The library's locked, door refusing to so much as budge with your attempts at using force. With the others having parted ways from you more than an hour ago, you're left on your own, with no other choice but to look outside the window to see the hallways, these scarce of illumination and with not a person around as far as your line of sight goes.

Fearing you've been locked in, you try to open the door again, though you stop yourself at the sound of laughter, heard from outside. "A month," the voice says, chuckling. "That's all it took for you to become the 'next one'." You back away from the door, remaining cautious regardless of not seeing the person anywhere around. "I'm positive the next paper's headline will be enough to make everyone remember this isn't over yet. You've grown far too comfortable already, (Y/N)."

Fear pushes you to rummage through your bag, mind desperate to find any source of safety from its contents. From it, you retrieve a pocket knife and make sure everything's set in place to avoid being delayed, if the event of defending yourself really came to it. Wherever the person was, they were still outside, and whoever they were, they clearly intended to toy around with you before lashing out any sort of attack. 

"First a wolf and a rabbit, and now a wolf and a lamb?" Another laugh's let out, this one louder than the last. "I can understand why many still refer to you as a lamb rather than a sheep." A pause follows, sending a shiver down your body. "Sheep are supposed to be more grown and experienced, something you're not, little lamb."

Thunk.

Your gaze snaps to the noise, sounding near the voice, though there's nothing or nobody around by the time you look towards it.

Swallowing your tension, you hold onto the strap of your bag tighter than before and clutch the knife closer to you. The rule of never going out at night seems useless with your current situation, it still being five in the evening and your location the library. What makes the halls dark and brings your life to peril is having no lights turned on and being left alone to fend off whoever the owner behind the voice is. Had you known something like this would've been so close to happening, you would've followed Jack and the others not a second after they all gathered to leave.

Never go out at night.

What sense did that warning make now?

You're inside a library, and it's still evening!

That question stays on your mind as the thumps grow louder, these sending your thoughts into a scramble as you try to make sense of what could be producing them. While you weren't outside, you were alone and were still getting accustomed to how big the school was. If anything, the rule you'd been taught could use a little more wording now. Perhaps, 'have common sense; don't be dumb or negligent or both, and remember not to walk alone in unknown places', sounded better than simply isolating yourself from the world as soon as the sun fell and the clock struck seven. 

Thunk!

As a figure emerges into the library, your instincts kick in and you bleat out your fear, a sound you try to cover with a hand over your mouth while the rest of your body looks for a place to hide in. You go under the nearest table and blink away through blurry vision, tears unknowingly making their way out. Your breathing's shallow, yet you try to compose yourself to see who the person is. 

Rather than figuring out their identity, something near impossible to do with you tearing up and having fear eat up your vision, you hear laughter; muffled giggles, specifically. 

"I- I'm sorry," you hear Juno say, sounding genuinely apologetic despite her laughter. When you blink a few more times, you can see her clutching onto her stomach and her tail wagging. She has tears in her eyes, too, though for an entirely different reason compared to you. "I thought I'd go look for you since it was so late already, but I didn't exactly consider our situation here." She wipes her tears away and looks across the room, snout twitching as she sniffs around for you. "And I'm sorry to say this at a time like this, but that bleat was the cutest thing I've heard all day!" You tense and brace yourself when she nears your hiding place, involuntarily. "Hiding was good thinking, though, (Y/N)."

A few more sniffs, and she finally crouches down to your hiding level. Her eyes soften the second she sees you, a hand offered to you. "Can you stand?" she asks, still waiting. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Still shaken, you stare at her hand for a moment and bring your breaths back to a calmer level. You wipe yours against your skirt, leftover fear still making you perspire. She waits all the while, even after you take her hand and nod in response. "I'm... I'm okay," you reply, breathing out. "It was my fault." Your voice is stern, the plain risk you'd set yourself to one you remind yourself could've been easily avoided, had you been more conscious of the dangers that were still around. Common sense would've implied you not being alone for longer than necessary and having chosen to follow Jack back to your dorm. "I… I should've known it would be risky to be all alone like this." You can't bring yourself to tell her about the voice, wanting nothing more than to be out of this place and explain things to her after you regained some sense of clarity back into your thoughts. "I should've been more careful."

You let her hand go and fix your clothes, skirt having stained itself in the process of your hiding. Your throat hurts, though it's to be expected, given how long it's been since you last strained your vocal chords. Last time, you were only eight, and it was for you having snuck out and chosen to meet up with the neighbouring tiger family a few blocks across. Back then, you were more fearless, and the only reason for your fright had been due to you being caught in the way of making it back home unsuspecting.

"Still," Juno speaks up, bringing you out of those thoughts. "I forgot how careful we have to be now." She frowns, her entire body drooping as she meets with your eyes. "I almost forgot what we are. I… I almost forgot we were wolf and sheep, until I heard your cry and noticed it was let out of fear, not just surprise."

You gather your belongings again and follow her out of the library, steps slowed down to keep up with her pace. She's looking away from you now, gaze meeting with the little lighting left around the halls. Quiet falls as you wait for her to carry on, feeling as if she still has a lot more left to say. "Before I realized what I'd done, that sound was the most endearing thing I'd heard. But then I saw you weren't around, sniffed the air for you, and the gravity over what I'd done finally came to me."

Seeing she's lost herself in her thoughts, you tug at the sleeve of her shirt and try to voice out what's on your mind, "It's... It's really okay, Juno. Like I said, it was-"

Your questions over where the voice had come from are answered when you both stumble upon a new face, identity hidden by the poor lighting in where they stand. The wolf beside you snaps back to the present almost instantly, fur spiking as she bares her teeth at the figure. She takes a few steps back and pulls you along for you to do the same. Then, she holds your hand again, tighter as a growl leaves her mouth. 

When you see she's not intending to ask over the person's identity, it's then that you realize her reason for looking for you had been more than just to pick you up at the library. 

"So you thought you were 'one of them', huh?" the person asks, toothy smile glinting into view with the scarce lighting that shines over the person. "That's the most naive thing I've heard any carnivore say." Though it's too dark to see most of their face, you can tell when their eyes fall on you, making you grow more wary than you already are. "And you," they add, a laugh following after it. "What made you think you were ready for this school, if you let out a noise like that barely a month into you moving in? With that attitude, you're the easiest prey around, (Y/N)!"

Juno's hand loosens and moves up to your arm, grabbing it just as strongly. "Let's go," she whispers, teeth still clenched.

You hesitate, mind conflicted on whether to follow her along or confront the person over their words. The ones about you being negligent were noted and accepted, but calling out Juno for simply seeing you as her friend makes anger rise and cling onto your thoughts. Fear balances itself with a sudden need to defend, and you can only face at the person with a glare, the hand on your arm reminding you over the growing danger of your situation.

Whoever the person before you was, it didn't exactly erase the fact you were pissed off at those words, Juno's good intentions resonating with you.

• • •

Apologies for the author's note on the last update! I got my IRL schedule mixed up and thought it was Wednesday instead of Monday when I posted the chapter, so that conflicted with this story’s update schedule mentioned previously. (AKA: The holidays left me unaware of the concept of time, lol.)

As a result, I've fixed the author's note on the last chapter to avoid any future readers' confusion, and I’ve now fixed up and re-established the update schedule as such:

Twice a week on Wednesdays and Saturdays until reaching Act Twelve, then once a week on Wednesdays after that chapter!

[harrytpotter]

A Dangerous Bet — Chapter Two.

Plot: A big change can make a person do crazy things. Take on dangerous bets. And that’s exactly what Y/N and Sirius Black did. Can a random and thoughtless occasion completely change two people’s lives?

Pairing: Sirius Black x Fem!Reader.

Warnings: Sexual content.

A/N: Here is chapter two! Wrote it into late hours again, so sorry about any grammar mistakes! Hope you guys enjoy it.

As the week went by, Bentley and Clark weren’t exactly keeping a low profile and the entire school already knew they were having a fling. Your friends kept asking you how you were feeling, but you weren’t exactly sure. You did love Bentley during the time you were together, but part of the reason why you chose to break up with him, was because you didn’t love him like you used to. There was no spark anymore. No passion. It was just... boring.

“Guess that’s what happens when you grow apart and the feelings fade,” you thought by yourself as you were watching them kissing on a corner of the Gryffindor table at the Great Hall and realized it didn’t bother you at all.

“You’re staring,” Alice said into your year, startling you to the point you nearly dropped the mug you were holding and its entire content on yourself.

“I’m not,” you rolled your eyes annoyed.

“Yes, you were. Does it bother you? Seeing them snogging,” Marlene asked sympathetically.

Every pair of eyes belonging to your closest friends were on you, waiting for an answer. Each one studying you with persistence. Specially Sirius’.

“Do you still... love him?” He asked out of the blue, his brows furrowed and an unreadable expression on his face.

“I-“

“Why do you care?” Lily cut you off, sending him a threatening glare.

“I don’t,” he shrugged with a scrunched face. “I’m just worried, Y/N is one of my best mates after all.”

There. This definitely bothered you. Hearing Sirius saying he didn’t care did a lot more damage than seeing your ex’s tongue down the throat of another girl. You were one of his best friends and yet he didn’t care?

“How can you possibly not care if your best friend still loves a wanker like that?” James asked Sirius incredulously. “I know I do!” He added, looking at you and waiting for an answer.

“How about we just stop pressuring her and leave her be? I’m sure she’s got a lot on her plate already,” Lily said with an end-of-conversation tone.

Everyone slowly stopped staring at you and started chitchatting among them. Since no one was specifically talking to you, you started to get lost in your mind and your eyes once again wandered to Hogwarts’ newest happy couple. There was a time you truly believed Bentley was your soulmate and the two of you were meant to be. You used to think you were each other’s destiny. After crushing hard on Sirius Black for about a year without any sign of reciprocity, it was Bentley who had saved you from the hopeless feeling of seeing your best friend chasing girl after girl and breaking heart after heart and never noticing you were standing right there. It was him that helped you overcome this feeling. And now here you were, finding yourself uninterested in everything related to Bentley and playing with fire by having slept with Sirius. Six days ago you had your entire life planned out and now... now everything was just a mess.

Lily discreetly elbowed your ribs and motioned in Sirius’ direction. Turning your attention to him, you realized he had been observing you quite interested, not shying away from your inquisitive stare once caught red handed. You would keep staring back if it wasn’t from a dashing brunette Ravenclaw approaching him in a very flirty manner all of a sudden, causing him to break eye contact with you.

“Hey, you lush!” She said, licking her lips teasingly at him. You had to refrain yourself from rolling your eyes at the pathetic scene.

“Hello, you fit, fit woman,” he took her hand in his and placed a kiss on her knuckles ever so gently.

“Missed you at the last Gryffindor party, you were nowhere to be found when I arrived,” she started to play with his curls as she said so, a little pout on her lips.

Sirius’ eyes flickered with a devilishly mischievousness at her words as his eyes crashed into yours and a small smile quickly creeped on his lips. You had to look away abruptly to prevent your cheeks from heating up.

“Yeah, about that... I got heavily distracted,” he answered her, his eyes still on you.

“It must have been quite a distraction huh Pad!” James tapped on his shoulder in a congratulatory way. “You disappeared until the next morning.”

“So now ‘m a distraction,” you thought at yourself, feeling your blood boil inside your veins. Sure, you didn’t expect anything from him, but you surely expected a little more respect, you being his best friend and everything.

“Oh,” the brunette gasped, clearly unpleased at the boys’ remarks.

“Don’t worry, hun! He tosses his distractions away the next morning, you’ll still have your shot,” you shrugged sarcastically, entirely focused on the pudding you were eating.

Lily and Sirius stared at you mouth-widened as you calmly finished eating your dessert, completely unlikely the others, whom had exploded into a laughter, all assuming you were joking and teasing your friend as always, oblivious to what had happened between the two of you.

“Well, excuse me,” you said casually as you stood up and grabbed your bag after finishing your lunch.

Lily hinted to follow you, but you discreetly squeezed her shoulder, letting her now you needed some time alone to cool off. You could feel Sirius’ eyes burning holes in your back as you exited the table and, a few seconds later, the Great Hall.

You only stopped walking when you reached the clock tower courtyard, which was completely empty due to lunch time. You plopped yourself down on the edge of the antique fountain surrounded by statues of eagles and rested your elbows on your knees, your head still pounding of furiousness at Sirius’ words.

“Mind if I join you?” His voice echoed from beside you.

“Piss off, Sirius. I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now,” you said whilst closing your eyes and placing your fingers in the bridge of your nose.

“Shouldn’t I be the one mad here since you basically called me a rightful prick?” He chuckled.

“Right, because it’s always all about you,” you sang annoyed and looked to the opposite side that he was standing.

Sirius sighed heavily before making his way to you, bending down until he was on your level and resting a hand on your waist and another on your chin. He then gently turned your head so you could face him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked tenderly. “Talk to me.”

“A distraction? Really? I know I said I didn’t expect anything from you but I did expect a little bit of respect, you know, since I’m your so-called best friend,” you huffed after a while.

A shadow of an unreadable emotion run through Sirius’ eyes before he looked down and shook his head in disbelief.

“That’s what James said, not me. I said I got heavily distracted, which I did, because when we were together you and that moment were all I could think about,” he said, lifting his head a little so he could look you in the eyes. “I’m sorry i misspoke and made you feel that way. I do care about you, too much to ever hurt you on purpose.”

“Damn, you really know how to fool a woman, don’t you Black?” You joked harshly.

“I mean it,” he frowned.

“Well, then learn how to use your words, you daft!” You bumped your fist into his shoulder rather strongly, causing him to lost his balance and fall on his back, pulling you with him.

You stared at each other for a second before the sound of a loud laughter echoed through the empty courtyard. After what felt like ages of a hearty laugh, you rested your face breathless in the crook of his neck. Sirius took a hand out of your waist and started caressing your hair as you laid on top of him, a hand on his cheek and the other placed on his chest.

“Does it mean I’m forgiven?” He whispered into your ear with a giggle.

You lifted your head and stared into his eyes with a smile before nodding. Sirius smiled back at you and took a strand of your hair behind your ear, resting his hand on your cheek after, caressing it with his thumb. You could feel the warmth of his breath as your faces were dangerously close, both of you starting to lean in without even realizing you were doing so. Your nose was brushing against his, lips almost locked.

However, a sudden clear of a throat ruined the moment and caused you to jump on your feet quickly, meeting Remus’ shocked eyes.

“Hi, Rem!” You greeted him before grabbing your bag recklessly and taking off completely embarrassed, not bothering to wait for an answer.

Remus watched you leave for a few seconds before offering his and to Sirius, who was still laid down on the floor.

“What was that?” The boy with warmly kind chocolate eyes asked with a scrunched face.

“We were fooling around when I fell on my back and she landed on top of me,” he shrugged before taking Remus’ hand and standing up.

“I meant the obvious tension and the almost kissing, Padfoot,” he lifted both of his brows.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my dear friend Moony,” he wrapped his arm on his friend’s shoulder and started to lead him back into the castle.

Remus got out of Sirius’ embrace and grabbed his arm gently.

“Padfoot, she’s your best friend...” he started, concern clear in his voice. “You can’t gamble your friendship like that.”

“Do you think I’d ever do something like that to her?” He asked a little hurt. “We’re just... i don’t know.”

“Merlin, do you fancy Y/N?” He asked a little shocked. Remus had always been suspicious that Sirius had a crush on you but since he never made a move, he never paid much thought to it.

“What- No!” Sirius denied quickly with a scrunch of a face. “I’m not capable of such thing, and by such thing I mean feelings.”

“If I didn’t know you better I’d say you were lying,” Remus smirked. “About the first half of your sentence at least.”

“I’m not!” He exclaimed exasperatedly. “Besides, she deserves a lot better than me.”

Noticing a sad smile on his friend’s face, Remus squeezed his shoulder sympathetically.

“You could be a good man to her if you tried.”

“I’m too much of a fuck-up to ever commit to anyone, Moony, specially her,” he leant against the nearest rock-wall and looked at his friend with a side smirk.

“When will you start getting yourself more credit, you filthy dog?” Remus said with a grin.

“Oh, come on now, Moony! I do think I’m devilishly irresistible and a real catch already! How much more of a credit from myself do I need?” He joked, getting inside the castle and motioning for his friend to follow him.

——————————————————————

“Oi! Y/N! Come join us!” James waved for you from the stuffed armchair he was occupying as soon as you scrambled through the round hole concealed by the Fat Lady portrait.

Remus, Sirius and Peter looked over their shoulders at the sound of your name. You could see a knowing grin plastered on Remus’ face and your cheeks started heating up as you made your way to them.

“Hello, Y/N,” Remus widened his grin once you were inside his line of sight, your cheeks already burning by now.

“Why do you look so flustered, L/N?” James asked suspiciously with a furrowed brow.

“She turned pink as soon as she saw Remus, maybe she fancies him,” Peter nodded at James.

“Or maybe she fancies someone else...” Remus teased.

Sirius were studying your face quite amused and his eyes flickered with lust at his friend’s words, his piercing look flustering you even more.

“So Moony wants to tease, huh? Well, two can play a game,” you thought to yourself, plotting quickly a little prank to pull on your friend.

“Rem... I don’t think they’re gonna buy it...” you started, a play pretend anguish frown on your face.

“What do you...” he started to ask you, clearly confused.

“OH, REMUS JOHN LUPIN! I’M READY TO LET THE WORLD KNOW WE’RE IN LOVE!” You shouted, cutting him off and grabbing the attention of all of your fellow Gryffindors that were scattered along the Common Room. And then, without a warning, you gave him an intense and long peck on the lips.

Remus turned as red as a tomato, his eyes widened in shock, whilst Sirius had tears on his eyes due to how hard he was laughing. James and Peter just stared at you with a dumbfounded look on their faces, as well as the rest of the students.

“Merlin, Moony... that was like kissing my bloody brother! Sorry but I don’t think we have the chemistry to engage on a relationship,” you said mockingly, reaching for his hand with a condescending look on your face. “But we’ll always, always be friends.”

Pulling Remus aside as soon as you were done talking, you drove him to the quieter and inhabited corner of the room, looking into his eyes.

“Please, don’t do that again! Don’t tease me in public about... well, that!”

“I wasn’t gonna tell James, you know that,” he retorted offended.

“I do, Rem, but he’s not as much of a daft as he seems, he’d realize you were holding information and his annoying self would torture you until you had to no way out but tell him what you saw!”

“Good point,” he shrugged. “‘M sorry, I won’t tease any of you about that again. Not in public at least.”

Remus grinned amused at your annoyed eye-roll, hugging you and leading you back to the fireplace with the other Marauders. He would definitely be teasing both you and Sirius for as long as he could.

———————————————————————

Taglist: @rexorangecouny @emmalbg

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Oh I've been waiting for this moment hihihi. so may a request a 🍰

Appearance:

Not really too much to brag about but... i’m 5’2, toned skin, medium brown hair( still have some green remnants)slim body thin waist + pretty marked hip (one of the parts of my body that i really like ) but oddly thick thighs. Dark brown eyes and small but still full lips.

Style / Aesthetic :Don't know exactly how to describe this, but most of the time I work with grunge,dark academia and vintage, but often you can see me in cotagecore and glam chic outfits. or a big mix of this

Personality:

I’m a taurus, Libra rising and Sag moon , ESFP,Love to make new friends and i can be pretty talkative...principally if we talking about art, music , cooking , animes or sports .I’m a ravenclaw ,I can be really stubborn but I'm trying to work on this, people also say i have short temper, but i can't believe this.Teasing sarcastic and flirty are some adjectives I can add to my personality description, it is actually so natural that i probably do without notice. I can be a really crackhead sometimes, especially when I'm with my friends, but mostly I try to use the reason . I can be pretty clingy to my close friends and family. Also I can be pretty random, being my friend means that you will receive some messages/ videos at 3 AM or even get a new playlist in full Tuesday :)

Hobbies and random stuff :

I love cooking / baking i actually have a “brand ” of homemade biscuits (family’s recipe), I can play volleyball and badminton and i normally do this with my friends(in the end of High school i played almost everyday ) and now i’m planing play for my university’s team. I really like to listen to music , and I'm doing this 24/7( I kind of have a server on discord just for the music bot ). I actually can speak 3 languages and I'm working on the 4th one but i’m never trust my skills before sending a text in another language !!. I can actually be both or too energetic or a totally lazy bitch. but i’m probably always up to talking/ listening. I really like flowers ( I love learning about their meaning), and poetry , also writing and reading even though I've not been doing this lately.

Fun fact my favorite color is white but 85% of my wardrobe is black .

I really like make up and i love do it , but i have so me block with eyeliners i just can't do it right

About Relationships :

My love language is Quality time, so just being able to relax next each other (friends / s/o) with no words being necessary for meIt's already enough, oh i can get a little too touchy sometimes since I really like to cuddle. I love adventures, visiting new places, shopping, nature dates, stargazing, board games/ cards nights. I really like to innovate, as long as i have a good company I think I can do almost everything.

Ahhhh Lecxi, yours matchups are the best, i just love the way you write so much ,it's a muah *chef kiss*

@lilshortcakess

A/N- This took SO long and I am SO sorry 🥲 but I hope you still enjoy it my dear!

Romantic Matchup

𝐎𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐓𝐨𝐨𝐫𝐮

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐘𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐭

So you were on Seijous girls volleyball team

And you met Oikawa because well...

Ya’ll kept practicing overtime 😅

Now we’ll just say that you wanted to practice your spikes

and for that, you would need a setter

And Oikawa wanted to practice his sets

For him to do that he would need a spiker

So ya’ll were just like “hey let's just practice together

Now every time there was practice

When everyone left

You would meet up with Oikawa so that you two could practice

This went on for a while before Oikawa decided on getting to know you on a more personal level

I mean if he was going to be practicing with you he might as well get to know you right?

So he started taking you out to eat after you two finished practicing

Sometimes he would take you to a diner

Sometimes it would just be a gas station

But either way, you two would end up just sitting and talking to each other

This is how Oikawa found out how much he actually liked you

We’ll get into why later 👀

Anyways after falling into this little routine he started to hang out with you during school hours

Damn, he was really just weaseling his way into your life, isn't he?

He would only realize he had a crush on you when Iwa pointed it out

So at this point, he was just like fuck it

YOLO am I right?

So he just casually asked you out when he took you to a gas station after practice

Romantic I know

But he was over the moon when you said yes!

And ya’ll have been dating ever since

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮

He loves that you just listen to him

Like you GENUINELY listen to him

He's found that not a lot of people care what he's saying outside of volleyball

But you listen to anything and everything he talks about

And you show interest too!

This was the thing that made him realize that he liked you

Ok he REALLY loves your flirty nature

Just the fact that instead of getting flustered at his flirty comments

You just pop off with your own comment

He loves someone who can match his energy

He really likes that your clingy 👀

Whenever you hold him or ask him for cuddles

it just makes him feel wanted and loved

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐃𝐨 𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫

Ok so just addressing the elephant in the room

He loves to play volleyball with you

He calls it a good “bonding” activity

Now that THAT'S out of the way

He likes to bake with you

He has even made recipes personalized to him

For example

“Oikawa's Milk Bread Biscuits”

Yup

He took your biscuit recipe

And turned it into a milk bread

He likes to listen to music with you

I feel like he hates awkward or uncomfortable silence

So he always has SOME kind of music playing 

And finally

He loves to talk to you

Granted it's a lot of him talking and you listening

But if you're feeling down and need someone to talk to 

He's all ears

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐜

One time you and Oikawa were practicing overtime

And Iwa came into the gym and yelled at you both for “overworking yourselves”

You and Oikawa actually sell his milk bread biscuits at school

Get that coin sis 🤑

You and Oikawa just throw random pick up lines at each other

and i cant get the image of him doing finger guns at you every single time 444

He gets really mad when you start speaking a different language

Cause he cant understand you!

So sometimes you just switch languages to piss him off :)

Causing him to learn the basic phrases of the languages you can speak

𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲

When Taurus and Cancer come together in a love affair, it’s usually a very good combination.

They are two positions apart within the Zodiac, and such Signs tend to share karmic ties and a deep mutual understanding.

These particular two Signs have much in common

Both prize security in a love relationship above almost all else

both tend to be nurturers

Cancer is emotionally nurturing

while Taurus loves to spoil their lover with sensual delights, gifts and good, rich meals

They’re both quite domestic and love a quiet night spent at home with their sweetie.

The Taurus-Cancer partnership tends to be a happy one due to this mutual enjoyment of the security and comfort of home.

They love a solid home base

a strong relationship

nice possessions

good food

all the comforts of domestic life.

Theirs is often the ideal family that people of other Signs strive for, with strong ties between them and a relationship that is family-oriented rather than toward the outside world.

Their only major problems arise when Taurus insists on having its own way and Cancer responds by sulking.

Taurus must understand Cancer’s emotional sensitivity, and Cancer needs rely on open, honest communication than on emotional blackmail.

The steady, reliable team they make.

Both Signs are dependable and nurturing, strongly oriented toward domestic life together.

A mutual love of home and security makes theirs an ideal long-term, family relationship.

𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜

𝐁𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 💋

[itsbenedict]

I didn’t post about everything I played this year, so here’s my opinions on the stuff I played that I didn’t make a rec post for:

Raging Loop 

Raging Loop is one of them twisty meta Zero Escape-y branching-path visual novels where an ensemble cast is trapped in a mysterious circumstance where people are dying gruesomely, and you have to find out what’s happening and stop it by looping a bunch. 

I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it, because... it tries to have its cake and eat it too with the supernatural elements. Clearly magic is real and has important impacts on the scenario, but then other parts are trickery you’re supposed to see through, and it’s entirely uninterested in cluing you in to how that trickery was accomplished. Not exactly a fair play mystery, in that regard- you have to kind of just be along for the ride, rather than try to figure it out.

That said, it’s a good ride- pretty strong character writing, and the central conceit of the Werewolf/Mafia-style murder scenario creates really interesting drama. It’s more concerned with making itself feel clever than letting the player feel clever, but it’s still well-paced and gripping and has a pretty decent resolution.

Detective Grimoire

I recommended Tangle Tower, the sequel, pretty strongly- and this one, while obviously a little rougher around the edges with the art and mechanics (the suspicion tracker system is a total dud; I didn’t even realize it existed until I realized I was missing an achievement for using it), it’s still pretty darn good. Really fun character designs and animations, fully-voiced, and a solid whodunit backing it all. Plus- while the two are more or less self-contained, the continuity threads with Tangle Tower raised some really interesting questions.

Contradiction - the all-video murder mystery

This one was pretty fun, largely on the strength of the actors. The main mechanic of interrogating people on evidence and using their own statements against each other was some good stuff, too. Definitely had that Phoenix Wright quality to the deductions, and Jenks is a really fun character. (Had a few points where progression was just linked to standing in a certain previously-abandoned area of the map where a clue was suddenly there for no reason, there- good thing it had a hint system.)

As a mystery, it could use a little work- most of what you end up finding out is sequel bait (for a sequel that never actually came together, unfortunately), and the actual whodunit is just sort of hiding in the cracks of all that. And... cornering the culprit just sort of happens out of nowhere once you’ve got your hands on the right piece of evidence, without much fanfare. You’re following up on leads like usual, you find a little lie in someone’s testimony, and then- oh, shit, they’re just confessing everything! Unlike all the previous times you questioned them and they were super evasive like everyone else! And then the game is over. 

All in all, it’s pretty meaty and entertaining and I’d recommend it, but unfortunately the creators have moved on to other things, so there’s not going to be any follow-up on the stuff it left unresolved.

Ikenfell

Ikenfell is a tightly-designed RPG about kids at a magic school, with Paper Mario-style action command mechanics and a battle system that makes a big deal out of careful positioning and movement, which was really enjoyable. The difficulty’s a little high (I recommend always always always speccing into max damage because killing things before they kill you is worth more than any amount of defense, speed doesn’t work, and healing is cheap), but I found it really satisfying.

There’s... something... off? About... I don’t know how to put it, it’s... doing that “yes, everyone is queer and mentally ill, deal with it” thing, which, sure, okay. But for a lot of them it’s such a background thing, like... half the playable cast is unambiguously nonbinary, but like... I don’t know if it’s trying to make some statement on how there are no rules to being NB and you can 100% perform a particular binary gender presentation but still count, or if they wrote the whole story and then changed the pronouns of some of the characters for Representation Points, or what. Probably the former? I dunno, it just feels weird. Maybe I’m just not woke enough to Get It.

(unrelatedly: why the heck is the official art they use everywhere so... off-model? none of them look like they do in-game- they look like the creator commissioned someone to draw a group shot with one reference image each and didn’t tell them anything about the characters. how much you wanna bet they commissioned a friend and it came out wrong but they were too polite to say “sorry, no, this is wrong, can you do it over?”)

Trails of Cold Steel IV

Hoo boy. It’s... not great, and it’s not great in a pretty predictable way for an even-numbered entry in the Trails series. It happens every time- first there’s a game in a new engine with new characters and a new world to explore, and it’s really nice and does interesting things... and then it ends on a cliffhanger, and then there’s a sequel game in the same engine with the same characters and the same world, reusing as many assets as possible. Also the League Of Generically Evil Anime Supervillains is there causing trouble for reasons they refuse to explain, and the plot is a storm of magicbabble and macguffin-chasing that makes little to no sense. 

Cold Steel IV is that for Cold Steel III, full stop. Welcome back to all the same places you visited last game, except this time there’s some stupid magic apocalypse happening (not that it stops you from taking the time to do random sidequests constantly, of course). The whole “oh, the evil curse mind controls people and that’s why they do stupid bullshit that’s in no one’s interest” plot point is leaned on super hard, and it’s just a big yawn the whole way through.

It’s still really fun, though, because the battle system remains really well-designed. (The same battle system that was just as fun in Cold Steel III, mind you, but it hasn’t gotten old.) And- though they’re struggling to square it with the dumb mind control apocalypse plot, the NPC dialogue continues to make the world feel believable and lived-in. They don’t slack on the parts that make Trails good- it’s just the parts that make Trails bad are making themselves more evident than ever.

did finally get to date Towa though so that’s a win

One Step From Eden

OSFE is... uh. It’s fucking hard is what it is. It’s sort of a deckbuilding roguelike, and there’s this combat that takes place on a grid, and- wait, it’s like Mega Man Battle Network, it’s exactly like Mega Man Battle Network. Man, I forgot about that, but the mechanical influence is extremely obvious. It’s MMBN meets Slay the Spire.

Except it’s super duper hard as hell, because unlike MMBN you can’t pause and swap out chips or anything- everything is just always happening so much, all at once, everywhere, and you have no recourse but to git gud and learn all the enemy patterns and the behavior of your own spells and develop the twitch reflexes necessary to not fucking die from all the shit that’s on the screen always.

(What’s the story? Uhhhh, there was some kind of magic apocalypse, and some anime girls are trying to reach a city for some reason that doesn’t really get explained ever. The game doesn’t really care to build its world at all- it’s all mechanics plus a little token character dialogue that doesn’t say much.)

The point is it’s really frickin’ hard but I am an epic pro gamer and I got ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS, MOTHERFUCKER. If you’ve played it, I expect you to be really god damn impressed with me, okay???

A Short Hike

This one was really relaxing! It’s a platformer where you explore an Animal Crossing-y island of cartoon animal people, collecting mobility upgrades- but like, mainly it’s about straight chillin’. The flight controls are fun and there’s lots of little secrets to find and it��s just a nice time that doesn’t drag on too long. Not too much to say about this one.

Pokémon Sword

Ehhhhh.

I’m not here for the hot takes about how Dexit is good actually. Development hell happened, they had to make cuts for time, I get it. It’s disappointing and makes the game a little bit worse, but it’s not the end of the world.

Apart from that... perfectly serviceable? The Wild Area could’ve used a little more technical polish (as could most things in the game, really) but was a step in the right direction, giving the player a wider array of early-game team-building options than ever before. No HMs is good. Story and characters were kind of nothing, but that’s par for the course. “At least this time they’re not shoehorning in some kind of stupid evil-team-wants-legendary-pokemon-to-destroy-the-world apocalypse plot”, I thought to myself before they managed to shoehorn one in at the last minute with zero buildup- but, hey, beats wasting half the game on it.

It’s nothing special and it’s missing a lot of polish, but its problems are mainly due to being rushed, and presumably next gen they’ll be able to reuse a lot of the models and animations (maybe even improve the animations so they’re not so boring??? a man can dream) and make something interesting. SwSh seem like they were testing the waters for something else, and not taking too many chances in the meantime. 

(yo why would you sell all these cosmetic items and then turn them all off during gym battles, though) 

Hades

Hades is- oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows Hades, it’s the game of the year, greatest thing since sliced bread, Supergiant are heroes, yada yada yada. I’ve played almost 300 hours of it and I’ve completed everything except all the Resources Director levels (currently a Sigma Wraith), it’s extremely fun and you don’t need me to tell you that.

Petal Crash

It was that thing the Paranatural creator helped on? It’s, uh. It’s a block-sliding puzzle game thing, sort of in a Puyo Puyo vein. It has fun character designs and some good dialogue, like you’d expect from Zack’s involvement, but it didn’t really leave an impression otherwise (besides how got dang infuriating some of its Turn Trial puzzles can be.) The story is... kinda heartwarming, kinda didactic, kinda childish, not especially deep or interesting. Hard for it to be, when it’s told through little bits of fluffy character dialogue that exist to set up a puzzle battle as quickly as possible. Not super recommended unless you really really like block-sliding puzzles.

Hollow Knight

Man, why’d I sleep on this for so long? It’s a metroidvania platformer with heavy Dark Souls inspiration, in terms of tone and difficulty and death mechanics and environmental storytelling. And it’s... apart from all that, just really good as a game, with tight controls and juicy movement and great animation. Progression is linked as much to mastery as it is to upgrades collected- I found myself in lategame areas facing down things that would’ve killed me ten times over at the start- not because I had the best gear, but because I’d learned the game’s language and understood how to move in ways that wouldn’t get me killed.

(Usually. Sometimes I’d walk into a room and sit on a bench and suddenly there’d be a boss fight and I’d get slaughtered. Ain’t that just the way it goes?)

Anyway, on top of all that it’s just charming as hell, with a really unique and well-realized world full of little bug people. I love how, like, your character is clearly some kind of eldritch abomination, but it’s small and cute and so everyone (besides enemies that attack you on sight because they’re possessed by some kinda evil mold) is like “awww, who’s this little guy? want some help, little guy?”

(except Zote, who is just an ass hole. i love him.)