#its really quite an unfun situation

[hikeyzz]

reached the point where the pain and discomfort is making me cry so 👍 officially worst pain of my life the doctors were right lol

[douchebagbrainwaves]

IT WILL BE ABOUT WHATEVER YOU DISCOVER IN THE COURSE OF TECHNOLOGY, AND SOME TRAINS OF THOUGHT JUST PETER OUT

If you're going to have a deep understanding of what you're doing; the kind of people you want to work on them, and investing is for most of the founders spent all their time building their applications. PayPal cofounder Max Levchin showed that their software scaled only 1% as well on Windows as Unix. The tragedy of the situation is that by far the greatest liability of not having gone to the college you'd have liked is your own feeling that you're thereby lacking something. But it was hard to say at the time that this was a big market. When you notice a whiff of dishonesty coming from some kind of exit strategy, because you couldn't establish the level of university you'd need as a seed. Would a basketball team trade one of their own, you can make yourself do it you have a list of all the things you shouldn't do, you can prove what you're saying, or at least lacked some concepts that would have made their lives easier. Result: this revolution, if it isn't, how do you pick good programmers if you're not a programmer? A recruiter at a big company, for whom ideally you'd work your whole career. A few CEOs' incomes reflect some kind of wrongdoing. So the real question is not how to convert that wealth into money.

Underpaying people at the beginning of their career only works if everyone does it. The idea even flowed back into big companies. But I do at least know now why I didn't. Maybe it would be a well-paying but boring job at a big company—and that scale of improvement can change social customs. There is some momentum involved. But if you look at how famous startups got started, a lot of catches as an eight year old outfielder, because whenever a fly ball came my way, I used to think the good ones, at least in the US are auto workers, schoolteachers, and civil servants happier than actors, professors, and professional athletes? Indeed, one of our habits of mind to invoke. Wikipedia may be the most famous recent startup in Europe, Skype, worked on a problem that seems too big, I always ask: is there some way to bite off some subset of the problem was that he wanted his own computer.

Which means that any sufficiently promising startup will be offered money on terms they'd be crazy to believe your company was going to study philosophy remained intact. The difficulty of firing people is a meaningful test, because although, like any everyday concept, human is fuzzy around the edges, there are ways to decrease its effects. The best they can do whatever's required themselves. So if you want to start a startup. If it's a subset, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. A list of n things. A startup is a company designed to grow fast, I mean it in two senses.

So if you're going to start a startup, you're probably going to have to do whatever it is eventually. If you want to attract to your silicon valley. The war was due mostly to external forces, and calls itself I. There continued to be bribes, as there still are everywhere, but only a few of them. All the unfun kinds of wealth creation slow dramatically in a society where I was the richest, but much more on them than the college. But it means if you have a free version and a pay version, don't make the free version too restricted. The usual way is to hire good programmers and let them choose.

Why bother checking the front page of any specific paper or magazine? People did start their own company. I thought she was being deliberately eccentric. But it's not humming with ambition. The key to this puzzle is to remember that art has an audience. P 500 in 1958 had been there an average of 61 years. He called a maximally elegant proof one out of God's book, and it was practically impossible to find alternatives. Who would rely on such a test? At the beginning of his career, an actor is a waiter who goes to work for you without giving them options likely to be of the simplest possible type: a few main points with few to no subordinate ones, and your knowledge won't break down in edge cases, as it would if you were willing to sell early on. And if you don't let people into it. I think the root of the problem, then gradually expand from there?

Most people who write about procrastination write about how to make a conscious effort to find smart friends. Within a few decades of the founding of Apple, Steve Wozniak still hadn't quit HP. People tend to; I'm skeptical about the idea of delivering desktop-like applications over the web. If you write software to teach Tibetan to Hungarians, you won't have any habits of mind is to ask whether the ideas represent some kind of art, stop and figure out what's going on. To do that well meant to get good grades so they can get into a good college. There's nothing more they need to do more than find good projects. In particular, they don't have any is that they don't enjoy it. I doubt I believed I understood them, but though they can end up in the same business. In high school I decided I was going to take care of you. It's significant that the most famous examples is Apple, whose board made a nearly fatal blunder in firing Steve Jobs. Yuppies were young professionals who made lots of money. You needed to take care of the company are the real powers, and the granary the wealth that each family created.

I don't know if I learned anything from them. This probably makes them less productive, because they don't know what you're going to have to think about the future, just that you think may be due to a crime well enough executed that it had been a time of consolidation, led especially by J. If a successful startup usually has three phases: There's an initial period of slow or no growth while the startup tries to figure out. I spend a lot of users, so they must be smarter than they seem. Whereas if you want to achieve, and to hold true to it no matter what setbacks you encounter. But change was coming soon. Even Microsoft sees it, but it's not part of any specific paper or magazine? 0 referred to whatever those might turn out to be more entrepreneurial, and less afraid of risk. The reason they don't have good colleagues to inspire them.

Another place democracy seems to win is in deciding what counts as news. A couple months ago, one VC firm almost certainly unintentionally published a study showing bias of this type. Materially and socially, technology seems to be a police state, and although present rulers seem enlightened compared to the last, even enlightened despotism can probably only get you part way toward being a great economic power. No matter what you do. You need a big prime number? It's as if they had. So long as you can, and you'll leave the right things undone. Culturally we have ever less common ground. What happened to him? For example, many startups in America begin in places where it's not really legal to run a business.

Thanks to Matthias Felleisen, John Collison, Erann Gat, Ron Conway, Jessica Livingston, and Robert Morris for inviting me to speak.

[maydaymemer]

Reviewing every Hitman level - Part 1: The PS2 Trilogy

Part 2 here: https://maydaymemer.tumblr.com/post/635417183293423616/reviewing-every-hitman-level-part-2-world-of

Today is Hitman’s 20th birthday, as well as yesterday being the reveal of IO’s new James Bond game ‘Project 007’, and for the occasion I’ve put together a review of every good mainline Hitman’s levels, and by extension a review of the games themselves. C47 and Absolution for a later date after H3 comes out and I can do a full franchise review. The only exception to this post will be escalations and Elusive Targets from the new games, since they’re reliant on the base locations to begin with. Let’s begin with the original Hitman 2SA:

Anathema - 4/5

This level, more than even Traditions of the Trade, feels like the template IO uses for designing levels nowadays. You start outside a big area you’re supposed to get into, and by looking around you discover multiple ways of varying difficulty to get into the area. In this level there’s three major ways to get in: via flower delivery, taking out a peeing bodyguard or taking groceries to a chef. This is a solid level but I feel it’s let down by Hitman 2’s AI problems and having to pick up a key from the targets corpse to get into the basement, which discourages far away kills. If there were multiple keys or an option to break it open with a crowbar at the cost of an alert the level would open up a little more.

St. Petersburg Stakeout - 3/5

This level makes a great first impression with its sniping setpiece, but on replays it’s not particularly engaging. There are ways to kill the target without sniping it’s just that it’s the way you’re encouraged to use and it’s the path of least resistance. I’m fine with the occasional linear level but if the target and description was picked at random from the five generals at the meeting it’d be a little less brain dead killing him again and again. You’d have to listen to and make note of Diana’s hints ala The Vector because you wouldn’t know who it is off memory. Normally this wouldn’t work in a Hitman level, but normal Hitman levels have more options. Not a bad level, it is fun to sneak up to your spot and the first time you have to snipe the guy it’s really impressive and cinematic, it just pales in comparison to the more open levels of the rest of the game.

Kirov Park Meeting - 4/5

This level is pretty neat, giving you multiple cinematic ways to kill your targets but also having enough leeway to go up to the guys and stab them normally. You can plant bombs on both of their cars and blow them up, you can snipe them both, you can plant the bomb on one car and snipe the other guy so he explodes himself trying to flee. Even a more scripted kill like that is satisfying due to its set up and has multiple ways to do it, a lot like the more in-depth scripted kills from a WoA location like Mumbai. If you use certain sniper spots the AI can get a little iffy but that can be fixed by using the tower much further away. Getting into the place also requires going past the infamous guard AI in disguise but once you’re in there pretty much no one is watching you kill them. So essentially it’s a pretty good level, just a shame it’s in Hitman 2.

Tubeway Torpedo - 4/5

The majority of this level is very non-traditional for a Hitman level. The main objectives are based more around sneaking into the base itself and avoiding guard sightlines rather than planning an assassination, since unfortunately the target here isn’t really a challenge to isolate or kill. In fact the start of the level gifts you one of the kill methods as a mandatory objective. However, the sneaking itself is very fun and satisfying. I really like having to essentially stay in post in alcoves so the guards won’t find me suspicious, sneaking into the surveillance room to kill the cameras, or blow the exit open before I rescue Smith so we don’t get caught running through the sewers. It’s the assassination itself that I don’t find fun, since sometimes the phone and pager don’t work for me, and with any kill method the general can pull a gun and kill Smith mid-death through a wall. But other than that I think the level’s a fun change of pace and the AI actually works pretty well this time. I rarely have issues with it.

Invitation to a Party - 5/5

The second ever God-tier level of the series, and the only one of this game. Invitation is open, atmospheric and fun to play. I like not only the fact you can kill the general and agent anywhere but also that the latter isn’t even required as a kill if you play your cards right. Makes me wish they had a Russian party level in the WoA trilogy.

Tracking Hayamoto - 3/5

It’s a St Petersburg issue of having a really neat signature kill, poisoning the fugu, but having all other options be incredibly obtuse. This time the AI really busts your balls if you try actually delivering the meal to Hayamoto Jr. personally, so you’re forced to take the path of least resistance and prepare the meal for someone else to deliver. Which means you’re spending the next couple of minutes standing at the exit waiting for Junior to die. Not a bad level, the atmosphere and geometry are great and the small scale makes it feel like a classic Hitman puzzle box but it’s still marred by restrictive design decisions.

Hidden Valley - 1/5

One of the worst Hitman levels ever. While Tubeway Torpedo worked within a confined space and at most 2 guards per encounter, this heavily luck-based sneaking mission expects you to avoid up to 10 guards in wide open spaces, where it’s very easy to get caught. The only good thing about this mission is if you just run to the exit you can avoid just enough gunfire to get to the exit.

At the Gates - 0/5

The worst level in the franchise. Take the problems Hidden Valley had and add an objective that requires walking near and potentially aggroing instant kill snipers to get to it. Which means that this level doesn’t have Hidden Valley’s more forgiving design, which is saying a lot. You have to play at least somewhat slowly in order to avoid getting killed, which is difficult for such a painfully unfun level and that’s why I prefer the more infamous Hidden Valley over this.

Shogun Showdown - 4/5

A great level to make up for the last two. Sneaking around the old squeaky castle is a great stealth concept and making a dash for the exit after killing Hayamoto Sr. is very chaotic and fun. This level is more of a pure stealth with an assassination at the end rather than a proper puzzle box, the verticality is great and is somewhat of a hint towards our next set of levels in Malaysia, but there’s still alternate ways to get rid of Hayamoto like with the “Bomberman” opportunity in the museum. Another thing I have to single out is how fantastic the music is for the setting and how it gives off a bombastic secret agent vibe.

Basement Killing - 4/5

I love this level. While the target himself doesn’t move at all the ways to get to him are varied from disguising as a pizza boy to setting off an alarm and going down to the basement as a fireman. Or just becoming a guard and walking down yourself but risking the guard AI sussing you out. What I really like with the former two is how it sets you with a time limit or restriction for your disguise if you go with them. The pizza boy cannot take guns through the metal detectors, so the secondary objective becomes more difficult, and the fireman disguise is only allowed down there for a limited time after the alarm goes off. It’s that classic Anathema design, multiple ways to get in of varying complexity and difficulty, where this time all of them seem more equally viable.

The Graveyard Shift - 4/5

A no target mission that’s actually pretty good. With how the rating system works the puzzle of this mission is figuring out what’s you can do: minimum bullets, minimum kills, minimum alerts - before you lose your silent assassin. It’s a simple and small puzzle box level, but much better than Tracking Hayamoto with way fewer guards to deal with in large volumes.

The Jacuzzi Job - 4/5

Another great puzzle box level, giving you the objective to rob the target before killing him. This level is really fun for suit only as you can avoid most guards either in the dark or via sneaking. The one big criticism I have is that night vision goggles lock the game to first person, so I just turn up the brightness to get around.

Murder at the Bazaar - 4/5

An atmospheric and fun mission which is easily doable suit only. The first target is a little easy but the second is way harder to isolate, but you can just shoot him in the face and book it for a Silent Assassin rank.

The Motorcade Interception - 2/5

I’d put this in a similar league as Curtains Down, a gimmicky level that has a cool idea it doesn’t quite nail. The sniper is way too inaccurate for landing a far away shot on the target while he moves unless you’re a God at prediction and aiming, and the spots are far too close to guards to enable a quick getaway without being caught. Expect a lot of reloads.

Tunnel Rat - 3/5

This level doesn’t get a lot of love but I do kinda like it. I think the objective that requires knocking out people at the helipad is stupid, and the target just stands still admiring his pirated copies of Hitman, but it’s a Tubeway Torpedo situation where it actually does sightline stealth really well. I love skulking around in the sewers to avoid guards, it works in this game’s weird guard logic since they don’t look down too much, and I like if you’re quick enough you can slide out the elevator to kill the target and end the mission immediately (a rarity for the franchise) if you’ve cleared the pad beforehand.

Temple City Ambush - 4/5

Another really unique level concept, where you have to assassinate other Hitmen gunning for Smith. Like with the agent in Invitation some of the assassins can be avoided completely if you’re quick enough and get a close spawn for Smith near the exit. I kind of wish the main targets were more proactive however, they do go after you if they see you but I think something like Murder of Crows where they actually tried to look for their mark would’ve been neat.

Death of Hannelore - 3/5

While there’s some great level design with multiples ways to get into and to the top of the hospital, this mission suffers from a very poor gimmick. Having to drag the titular target into a closet is one of the weirdest objectives the series has ever had. The reason why this is a thing I think is to discourage potentially sniping the target on replays and finishing the level in 2 seconds, but I don’t know for sure. I feel like this could have been alleviated if poisoning her coffee worked with the new game’s rules, and gave you the tick for the objective since people would think she had a heart attack like in the WoA trilogy logic. I think the in-story reasoning after all is so the cult leader doesn’t become suspicious his personal doctor died, which is one of the few times the franchise’s narrative actively impeded the gameplay quality.

Terminal Hospitality - 3/5

Great level design where multiple disguises are easy to get thru exploration and are viable to get around in, but I wish there were more methods to kill the target. Like Soders in Situs Inversus, Zipmaster is confided to an operating table, but the new game clearly did a lot to flesh out this idea whilst in this level some obvious kill methods like sniping thru the vents aren’t possible.

St. Petersburg Revisited - 2/5

Garbage. Even if you sneak up on the target guards will still come flooding in and will soon find his body, compromising the disguise you need to take off him in order to exit.

Redemption at Gottrano - 2/5

The second of old Hitman’s traditional action-orientated finales. This level really doesn’t work, as it’s trying to emulate action gameplay in a stealth framework. Hitman 2SA’s gunplay is pretty fun but not when you’re shooting around corners trying not to get instant killed by one of the many guards wielding sniper rifles. It says something when a point blank SMG or AK is more manageable when you’re at low health than when you’re facing a sniper with a full life bar.

The final totals for the original Hitman 2 are:

1 God-tier Level

9 Good-to-Great Levels

5 Average-to-Good Levels

3 Bad-to-Mediocre Levels

1 Really Bad Level

1 Horrible Level

Out of all the good Hitman games this is the only one I’d say aged poorly. There’s a lot of times great level design is ruined by the game’s bad AI, or when IO’s evolution as a game developer made old levels seem quaint by comparison. Still a good, sometimes great time for the most part, but a good quarter of the game’s levels are bad. Which would lead to the game’s sequel trimming the fat exponentially.

Hitman Contracts:

Asylum Aftermath - 4/5

This level is really good for what it is, great atmosphere and lots of detail in the Asylum, but it’s really at a disadvantage for being an overly simple tutorial. No target, no secondary objective, just get to the car outside.

Meat King’s Party - 5/5

A God-tier Hitman level, if you’ve played this game you know the power of the Meat King’s Party. One target has a roaming pattern with multiple chances to catch him away from guards, another sits still but can be sniped or confronted directly with the use of a guard disguise, or you can sneak up a weapon inside a chicken while in a butcher’s disguise. Even the objective to save the Client’s Daughter from the Meat King’s brother is great, you have to sneak past this monster and be quick or else he’ll come back when you get her. Actually scared me once or twice when I forgot about him. I also won’t give away any story or environment details but if you’ve played this level you know what I’m talking about. It’s awesome.

The Bjarakov Bomb - 1/5

Sandwiched between two beautifully crafted levels is this bizarre train wreck. The Barajkov Bomb is boring, 80% of the level is either walking to the next objective without threat of being detected or waiting for the set up to an objective without threat of being detected. Hitman is a game that requires patience, but even by the standards of this franchise it’s a slow-moving level. The easiest way to do this mission is to wait 10-20 minutes for an opportunity to bomb the two targets when they’re near the submarine you need to blow. However, this doesn’t consistently work and will most likely require a few reloads, because sometimes Commander Bjarakov (despite being caught in an explosive blast that kills people right next to him) will only be injured and not killed. It’s not a good level.

Beldingford Manor - 5/5

Another God-tier level. Atmosphere is great, the level of detail in the geometry is almost 2016 levels of good and the targets are legitimately fun to kill if a little simple. This feels more like an inspiration for Sapienza than Anathema because it’s also got a lot of unused space that’s not got much to do with the mission but is still well designed and could’ve been used in the mission effectively. Not that what we got is lacking, both targets have unscripted ways to kill them which is always going to be preferable for me, but this level almost rivals the new game in how many signature kills there are the designers planned out. Winston can be suffocated, sniped, poisoned and strangled in the toilet whilst Alistair can be strangled where he sits, poisoned by you or the butler, shot at thru the door with a rifle on display and bombed using gasoline on the fireplace. Can’t wait for the spiritual successor in Dartmoor in Hitman 3.

Rendezvous in Rotterdam - 3/5

This level isn’t bad, but it feels kind of forgettable. Which is weird because it involves disguising as a journalist to infiltrate a confederate biker gang in Rotterdam and killing a guy that’s already been captured and tortured by the bikers. It’s also a prequel to the Rotterdam levels from Codename 47, but at best this level is sort of meh. I could complain that the biker disguises don’t give enough visual clarity as to what is allowed there, but the journalist disguise circumvents any and all challenge becoming a guard could offer. Sneaking around the basement isn’t bad, the other target doesn’t have a bad route or bad signature kill opportunities. You can meet him as the journalist but also poison his tattoo ink ala Maero. But all in all the level just has boring box-like level design. I can give praise that even with the imprisoned target there is variety in how you can kill him, for example you can stab or even snipe him. Plus there’s lots of disguises and exits within these buildings.

Deadly Cargo - 3/5

This level is a heavily streamlined version of C47’s Gunrunner’s Paradise/Plutonium Runs Loose Mission. All you have to do is kill a single target and escape. I think I would love this mission if the AI didn’t feel so weird in this specific level. It seems that they glitch out and do stuff they just don’t do during other missions. Like turning around and walking back if you walk near a trespassing zone, for example. Still, this mission I have to mention shines on replays, while at first you don’t start with a sniper if you bring one with you your second time round you can snipe and escape without even needing to get on the boat or trigger the SWAT’s assault.

Traditions of the Trade - 5/5

The first ever God-tier Hitman mission is still great and maybe even better here. You can now poison Fritz, who’s considered a proper target this time, you can snipe him, there’s an added ghost Easter egg, you can break the glass cabinet to cause a distraction and turn off the alarms and you can even easily do the whole mission suit only! It’s got everything great about Codename 47 and (for the most part) more.

Slaying a Dragon - 3/5

This mission suffers from the same problem Asylum Aftermath has with it being way too simple to beat. They did add a lot more sniping spots and extra detail, but it doesn’t really matter when the level is so easy. Sure it’s a fun 2 minutes but I don’t have much incentive to explore when I can finish the level as fast as I possibly can with very little practice.

The Wang Fou Incident - 4/5

I really like the two extra targets they added. Even with the simplicity of the car Bomb assassination you still have two more targets to take out, which I usually sneak up to the upper floor and snipe when the guard moves away. There’s also some extra exploring with the Ort-Meyer key.

The Seafood Massacre - 4/5

I love this mission. The secret sniper spot alone makes this one of the coolest missions in the game to me. The hidden body thing actually makes sense this time and you can get rid of the Chief of Police and Blue Lotus in multiple ways from the two birds one bullet method with sniping, becoming a chef and poisoning them or just meeting up with them and strangling them if you’re not a complicated person.

The Lee Hong Assassination - 4/5

Pretty good mission, I don’t think it’s as good target wise as TOTT or Seafood Massacre but the multiple decisions you can make with getting the Jade Figurine add a lot of depth to the mission and what decisions you make. I also like that there’s a secret passageway to sneak around and get to Smith, I love details like that. Even when you’re not killing anyone it’s clear thought was put into the level design. Maybe when I experiment more with Lee Hong’s routine in his mansion I’ll appreciate the mission more, I do go for the boring route, but right now this mission is simply solid.

Hunter and Hunted - 4/5

Probably my favourite of the old Hitman climaxes since it can actually be stealthed. Fournier is a pretty terrible target but avoiding the SWAT and trying to escape after killing him is fun and frantic. It’s a very different vibe than what Hitman usually does, it reminds me a better version of what Absolution did for its first third.

The totals for Contacts are:

3 God-tier Levels

5 Good-to-Great Levels

3 Average-to-Good Levels

0 Bad-to-Mediocre Levels

1 Really Bad Level

0 Horrible Levels

While Blood Money I prefer mechanically, honestly when our neck and neck I don’t know what I prefer when it comes to level design. Contracts to me is way more consistent, its average and good levels I do prefer over Blood Money’s, but Blood Money has some killer God-tiers as I’m about to go over with that game now.

Blood Money:

Death of a Showman - 1/5

A terrible tutorial which is way too linear and teaches you to play it like a shooter. It’s also downright silly in its portrayal of gangsters.

A Vintage Year - 4/5

Very solid true opener for Blood Money. It really shows off how manipulatively the AI is, you can lead them to cliffs or balconies to snipe or push them off. There’s also a hidden detail where if you join the tour you can go into the normally-trespassing winery.

Curtains Down - 2/5

While this level is iconic I think it really grates on replays because there’s not a lot of substance there. Specifically there’s not a lot of substance to Delahunt. If you’re not a speed runner or experienced enough to know how to get his guards out of his room and are able to do it consistently he’s not moving out of there unless you do one of the scripted opera kills. Which is a shame as the other target actually has a route where you can intercept or manipulate him without resorting to increasingly boring, linear kills.

Flatline - 3/5

This mission would be a lot better if you could skip the mid-level cutscenes. Rescuing Smith isn’t a particularly great segment of the level, it doesn’t feel as well designed as Lee Hong’s, but the unskippable scenes of him talking really slowly are unbearable on replays. The targets make up for it, they do have obvious signposted ways of killing them but if you follow their very detailed routes and experiment you can find kills of your own. Like all great missions when you go off the beaten path the mission doesn’t break down, it gets better.

A New Life - 5/5

A legendary mission. A puzzle box with a highly manipulatable target and multiple ways just to get into the house. You can give the FBI agents guarding him donuts (one of the few problems with the level is this gives you the best disguise easily), you can dress up as a clown, you can use tranq rounds in an air rifle to KO the dog guarding the side passage, you can become a caterer or you can just go in suit only, lure everyone under the skyline and shatter it with a coin, killing everyone in an accident. The ways to speed run this level are so crazy and that’s a testament again to how highly manipulatable the target is, you can get a guy who stays in his house all day to run outside and get hit by a car. Brilliant stuff.

The Murder of Crows - 5/5

Another fantastic level. While the level’s purpose of showing off crowd tech isn’t as impressive as it once was this level is one of the most fun to route in the series. One target has a route that’s varied and long, one stays in one building across from a sniper spot and the last appears randomly from a choice of three buildings, carrying a sniper rifle. You can kill Raymond, take his sniper and take out Mark Jr. while Angela runs after you for killing her “boo”. Or you can bring a sniper, kill Angela while she roams near the sniper spot, shoot Mark and then use Angela’s walkie talkie to locate Raymond. Not that Mark can only be sniped, there are three disguises that get into his building and the library connected to it which you can rig with an explosive is somewhere you’re allowed in with just the suit. The briefcase trailing is an interesting objective and to help with replays it’s completely optional. In fact this level’s only got one signature kill, dropping the piano on Angela, which is a bit of a shame no one else gets anything specifically made for them - a sniper or explosive can be used on anyone in this game - but that also makes it a more pure form of Hitman. Getting to and killing the targets without being seen, rather than creating silly domino effect scenarios to secure a kill like usual.

You Better Watch Out - 5/5

Three God levels in a row is a testament to how this game picks up after the first quarter. This level has great atmosphere and setting but also a surprising amount of ways to kill these (when compared to someone like Angela or Vinnie) immobile targets. Lorne and Chad can both be sniped with a secret spot via climbing, not to mention Chad can be manipulated to go out the jacuzzi via aphrodisiac. There’s even a secret target. I admit however my love for the level is due to the pure level design, there are ways to get around that are fun to use but you’ll never really go for usually. But they’re fun to try out to shake things up, there’s even stuff like that with the targets themselves. Chad’s glass can be poisoned but you’ll get caught immediately, which just makes me want to try it even more to see if there’s a way to get it silent assassin. You can also dress up as a drunken Santa and feed a dog a sausage, which is a pretty good puzzle element to getting rid of a witness to Lorne’s death. Yes the dog is a witness.

Death on the Mississippi - 4/5

Honestly a pretty underrated mission. Again manipulating targets is what I find the most fun to do, and since we’re on a boat it means it’s accident central with all around the place there’s ways to throw people off. And since accident kills are allowed on innocents and keep your SA you’re going to be doing that a lot. Sure the secondary objective is pointless and the exit is poorly designed, but throwing gangsters off a boat is a good time.

Til Death Do Us Part - 4/5

Great level concept, great targets and great opportunities but it’s a bitch to get into the mansion itself. The guards of this level have unique behaviour befitting the setting, where if you’re caught trespassing they pretty much open fire 9/10 times. If you don’t want to lockpick in then you have to wait for a guy passing out in order to get an invite and that takes a bit of waiting. Like I said patience is required for Hitman but if the invite is so easy to get, there’s no risk of being caught stealing it, why not have 47 start with it in the first place? Still, the targets are alone often and when they’re not they’re near an accident kill, the accidents themselves are entertaining from dropping chandeliers to pushing Pappy into an open grave. Not to mention the absolute brilliant moment where you can become a priest and perform the wedding ceremony for the two cousins (we’re in the sticks, after all) and then strangle him when everyone turns around and starts shooting. You can also open carry in this level, the only time you can in this game.

A House of Cards - 4/5

Another entertaining level brought down by waiting. The Sheikh arrives about five or ten minutes after the level begins, which gives you way too much time to kill the other targets. Killing all three is entertaining, the first two have long routes and go to rooms with good sniper sightlines, and Sheikh while not as good can still have some entertaining kills set up with bombs and scripted opportunities. It’s just a shame the pacing is killed by the mandatory waiting, if IO programmed a workaround so he showed up immediately if you have already killed the two targets that’d improve things tenfold if not outright fixing the problem.

A Dance with the Devil - 4/5

This level is cool, Martinez has a good route and the idea of finding two counter-assassins is great, but I feel it’s a little overrated. It used to be one of my favourite missions, but I found that my enjoyment came from just doing the same thing every time which isn’t the draw of Hitman. It’s still fun to experiment where you can, I’m not going to knock a level for being a little bit linear as you’ll see with the next one. I just think the counter-assassins could’ve used at least one other way to kill them. Eve has sniping and using the computer to move her to the room you’re in, but John literally has only one dev-intended way to kill him. The other ways to kill him with silent assassin are speedrunning/suit only tricks that use luring, which is good that he can be manipulated but the guy has such a terrible route otherwise. It’s still a good level, Vanya and especially Martinez have some variety in their kills and you can even take both out at the same time during a meeting but they’re not as varied as something like A New Life and Murder of Crows, and the other two targets are laughably linear in comparison even to them.

Amendment XXV - 4/5

This level idea would be the one I’d like IO to tackle now. Infiltrating the White House is a fantastic concept, and the infiltration is fun to do but it’s way too linear and easy to cheese. I like Daniel Morris’ route and Mark III’s I’ll even defend for some of the ways you can catch him off guard, but starting off on the East Wing and then having to make it over to the West from there makes the progression of Amendment XXV basically going from one corridor to the next. I still like how much actual stealth you can do with trying to sneak through trespassing zones to get loose disguises, and as a climax to a game set around 47 in America it’s suitably bombastic and out there. Heck even the idea of having a kind of boss fight at the end is great, even if it can end almost immediately. In conclusion I like playing it and swapping disguises and doing what kills I can do with Mark, but Daniel Morris’ route is probably the only things I wouldn’t change about it. The rest doesn’t live up to the potential of a White House assassination.

Requiem - 3/5

Redemption at Gontranno but better. There’s really nothing to say about this mission, you shoot everyone and this time you can actually not die.

The totals for Blood Money are:

3 God-tier Levels

6 Good-to-Great Levels

2 Average-to-Good Levels

1 Bad-to-Mediocre Level

1 Really Bad Level

0 Horrible Levels

Blood Money is the magnum opus of the series by a lot of people for a reason. While I’d disagree with that in favour of WoA, the start is a bit of a slog with some inconsistent quality, I’d say the game really picks up after Flatline and is a great time. Mechanically it paved the way for almost every other Hitman after it, and the good levels serve as templates for WoA’s design philosophy. Even with sequels improving on it I’d still say it’s worth playing for what it does do better.

[fuckingfroggymemesorsomeshit]

Pt 2 of monster hunter post

Deviljho - Deviljho is truly the Dark Souls of monster hunter. Deviljho was the hardest fight in the game when he was first released, not through gimmicks like Kushala or strange attacks like Kirin, but through aggression, ferocity, and broken hit boxes. Deviljho’s main weak point is it’s face, and you harvest needed parts from breaking its face, which is nothing new. It’s face is also it’s most dangerous part, still nothing new. However the level of danger that comes with fighting Deviljho head on was higher than any monster before him, as he could legitimately kill combo you off one hit, especially from a bite or from dragons breath. Deviljho, also, is incredibly tall. So tall that you probably won’t hit it in the head unless you’re using a long gunlance or ranged weapons, and trying more often than not will get you killed in your attack animation. Deviljho also loves to stagger, stun, and use tremors, which he can then turn into a kill combo. Just by being near one of his attacks, you are at risk of losing the mission. He was the first taste of how unfair monster hunter can be, and it gets much worsea in Iceborne. 10/10.

Kulve Taroth - Very cool looking, but an introduction to the ugly side of MHW grinding. At the time of release, KT had some of the best weapons in the entire game. However, they just had a random chance of dropping, and he could drop several types and degrees of these weapons, making you fight him over and over, battling RNG to get one fucking weapon that didn’t even look that cool. Neat design, nice fight, wouldn’t wanna do it 100 times like people have before.

Lunatsra - I didn’t fight lunastra lol

Beotodus - The first monster you encounter in Iceborne. Beotodus is actually okay. It is just a Jyuratodus/Laviosoth clone, but it’s model and move set are just different enough to make it stand out. Probably not a good first monster, not very impressionable, but palatable.

Banbaro - Banbaro is what should have been the introductory Iceborne monster. He is an incredibly fun fight with great environmental interactions and weapons. My only complaint is that you should be able to break his antlers more than you can. I know it’d be kinda game breaking to just shatter his main offensive weapon, but it’s monster hunter, lemme break his fucking horns

Viper Tobi Kadachi - The first of the Iceborne subspecies, Viper TK is a pretty challenging fight. His poison seems to act faster than other poisons in the game, and he rarely stops attacking. This is a trend that continues in Iceborne. One of the best gunlances in the game drop from him.

Nightshade Paolumu - Annoying. Puts you to sleep and then one shots you, while just kinda floating around. Really unremarkable, but unfun.

Coral Pukei-Pukei - Honestly, a really fun fight, his water jets are unique and his vibrant colors make him easy to look at even in spite of his horrific asshole tail that jets water at you.

Barioth - One of the hardest monsters to fight in Iceborne, Barioth is the first cat Wyvern you fight. His attacks are relentless, his hit boxes are huge, and every move sends him flying across the map. It’s a challenge just to keep up with this monster, and it’s incredibly difficult to be able to consistently DPS his health bar down. Even if you’ve memorized his attack patterns and can stay alive during this fight, his attacks send him so far and they happen so frequently that comboing him without a knockdown is nearly impossible, making you rely on chip damage for the majority of the fight. Because of this, the fight takes a much longer time than it should.

Nargacuga- Another cat wyvern. Coming off the fight with Barioth, I was very afraid of Nargacuga. I was worried this would be another 30 minute fight with a cat that just wouldn’t keep still, and while Nargacuga can match Barioth in aggression, he is significantly less mobile and some attacks even keep him held in place entirely, making the entire fight much more streamlined and fun. However, his weapons and armor are significantly less worth farming than Barioth.

Glavenus - At first glance, this monster was giving me flashbacks to Deviljho. His massive frame, heavy, fast attacks and fire breath brought back memories I wasn’t ready for. Luckily, Glavenus is a bit of a pushover in comparison. Unlike Deviljho, it is fairly safe to just sit at Glavenus’s legs and fire gunlance shells through his weak points without much worry. Obviously it isn’t the fastest way, but he really can’t do much about it and gunlance shells do set damage no matter if they’re hitting a weak point or not, so it gets the job done.

Tigrex - Tigrex is quite the difficult fight. His ferocity matches Deviljho’s and his attack range and speed is on par with Barioth. If you don’t know how to approach this fight, Tigrex will probably just roll you. His enormous hit boxes and constant attacking seems almost insurmountable. However, if you play the beginning of the fight slowly, sever his tail and break his arms, the fight is much easier. His tail no longer has the incredible range it did before, and his wild charge now had a chance to make him stumble, granting you a free knockdown. Some of the best armor in the game stats wise.

Brachydios- Really not much to say. His design is so different from every other monster, yet he manages to be incredibly boring to look at anyways. He slimes and he explodes, break his hands and head to castrate him. His armor is Shinjis mech from NGE and that’s kinda cool.

Shrieking Legiana - I want to mention that I won’t bring up every subspecies from here on out since most don’t really add to the monsters fight or how you approach it, but Shrieking Legiana is different. Legiana was already a fast, aggressive apex predator with Iceblight and constant flight to worry about, but pair that with the constant attacks of Iceborne monsters, and this is a new beast entirely. Shrieking Legiana NEVER slows down. She is always flying through the air, staggering, inflicting Iceblight, and one shottinf you. This fight is annoying.

Velkhana - Imagine Barioth if he could fly. Same situation. Fuck this fight.

Namielle - Another one of the coolest elder dragons in the game. Namielle has one of my favorite designs of any monster, with an almost squid like appearance and the aesthetic of the abyss. She’s a water themed monster, and her gimmick is the fill the arena will puddles then elecrocute you. Her armor is woefully ugly, but the weapons are top notch.

Shara Ishvalda - My number one monster in the entire game. The fight is amazing. The appearance is amazing. All the armor and weapons are amazing. The design of the monster is amazing. This monster is what Xeno’jiva wishes it could be. It blows Xeno’jiiva out of the water in every single way, the lackluster, dull fight is now an epic, beautifully scored battle, and Xeno’jiva boring and uninspired appearance is put up against one of the most unique designs of any video game enemy I’ve ever seen. Shara Ishvalda starts the fight encased in rocks, appearing as a giant stone golem that is slow moving but lethal. Once you break away it’s armor, it reveals the most disturbing but beautiful monsters in the game. Shara Ishvalda is sickly, but vibrant at the same time. The freakiest part is it’s eyes, which do not follow the player, but the camera as you fight it. It’s a very weird feeling, making it seem like Ishvalda is staring at you behind the screen. The issue is that the fight takes fucking forever, but for a one time final boss, it’s fine. However, like I said, Shara has some of the best weapons and armor in the game. If you want them, you won’t be just doing the fight once. Grinding Shara Ishvalda is one of the most tedious experiences in the game. Each fight takes in excesss of 30 minutes, amounting to a damage check where you simply are spamming the same combo on its legs over and over and over. Not fun to farm, but a great final boss.

Rajang - monke

[holdharmonysacred]

Is there like. A word for fandom behaviors that are like, semi-adjacent to gatekeeping but aren’t quite actual gatekeeping (or at least, aren’t the bad type of gatekeeping)? I had an argument with some friends over this earlier where they consider behavior like going “No no no, don’t get into this thing through this adaptation, this adaptation is shitty, you should start at this other thing instead” gatekeeping, but like. That and fandom gatekeeping feel like very different things to me??????????

It’s like. To actually use the metaphor that gives the word its name, gatekeeping would be like if there was a set of gates leading to a destination, and there were these set of asshole guards at the gates checking everyone trying to go through the gates totry and keep most of them out and have whatever’s beyond the gates be limited to a select few. The behavior I’m talking about is like. There’s multiple sets of gates that all lead to the same end point destination, but their paths for getting there are all wildly different, some are enjoyable walks through forests or meadows but others are horrible or even dangerous and go through swamps or some shit, and people who travel those routes regularly don’t have guards posted but do have it all marked out which paths are good and which are bad, and you see someone new to the area try to go down one of the bad roads and you intervene and go “Hey hold on, don’t go down that road, it goes through a bunch of poison plants, go through this other gate here, that road’s safer”.

Like. That situation doesn’t register as gatekeeping to me, because the intent and what’s being done are completely different from gatekeeping the way I understand it - there’s a difference between like, a shitty dudebro quizzing a girl on spiderman so he can go “Ha! You’re not a real fan!”, and like. Seeing someone try to get into a series via an installment that is either shitty or way too confusing for a newcomer, and stepping in and going “Hey, the thing you picked up is actually a really bad place to start, you should start with this other thing instead. Like, in that situation the intent is the exact polar opposite of gatekeeping - the older fan WANTS the new fan to get into the thing and be in the fandom! They’re stepping in so that the new fan can have an actually enjoyable time with the fandom thing, instead of the fan wandering in on their own and starting somewhere unfun! How is that in any way bad or wrong???

[curlicuecal]

@codedredalert, oh this such a good question! and I do love talking about ants and ant mutualisms

So there are two important things to know about aphids, and lot of sucking insects that feed on plant phloem (aka sap, kind of the plant equivalent of blood):

1. Aphids are basically plugging their mouth into a firehose, where the pressure of plant fluids into their bodies is so strong they actually have to have physical mechanisms to slow the flow down

[aphid feeding on plant phloem with stylet mouthpart. scientists can cut the aphid away, leaving the stylet in place to collect phloem from the plant like the tiniest straw. this is not very nice to the aphid. - Image source]

2. Plant juice is super high in water, pretty high in sugar, and very low in other useful stuff like, say, amino acids/proteins. So in order to get a useful diet, aphids drink WAY more than they need, and excrete all the excess water and sugar. This sticky sugar poop is called "honeydew".

[aphid excreting honeydew - image source]

If honeydew builds up around the aphids it can grow mold, cause infections, kill the plant, attract predators - all sort of unfun consequences of living in your own sugar poop.

[sooty mold on leaves - image source]

Some insects handle this by launching the honeydew far away from their bodies (like the aptly named "sharpshooters"-- stand under a tree full of those and enjoy the faint, sticky mist.)

[sharpshooter launching honeydew - video source]

A lot of insects just kind of make do (make dew?) and move on when the situation gets sticky dire.

But a really *cool* thing you can do, is provide your sticky goo to ants as a delicious snack. In fact, if you are an aphid in an ant-aphid mutualism, they may even approach you and tap you with their little antennae and milk it right out of your butt--wow, the image I am crafting with words right now; what is my life?

[ant drinking honeydew from aphid - image source]

Anyway.

I called it a mutualism, so what do the aphids get in exchange for being the sweet beverage equivalent of moo-cows? Well, for one they hopefully don't get eaten. That's a plus. And for two, their hangout spot doesn't get quite so sticky. And for three, the ants patrolling around on the plants may chase off other predators and herbivores, making a nice safe home. Yayyyy!

[ants defending aphids from ladybug - Image source]

(I mean, sometimes they may not. I have definitely also watched ants callously ignore a ladybug chomp chomp chomping its way through their aphid farm while the ants sip their aphid tea.)

Interestingly, ant-aphid mutualisms can sometimes even benefit the plant! (Making it a plant-ant-aphid mutualism ot3? Maybe). This is because although aphid feeding puts some wear and tear on plants (especially if their population gets large), a lot of bigger, munchier, leaf-feeding bugs like caterpillars and grasshoppers can do even more damage to plant.

[caterpillar rapidly eating a leaf - Image source]

Terrible! Do not like. Maybe it's worth it to try out having aphids after all? Because if you've got aphids, you've got ants. And if you've got ants, maybe they'll chase off some of the bigger herbivores. And all it cost you was a case of horrible blood-sucking plant lice (aka aphids).

An even more direct strategy that skips the lice: many plants invest in extrafloral nectaries-- basically little spots on the leaves and stems that release sugary nectar.

Why have this nectar if it's not in a flower attracting pollinators? Well, one use for providing this free lunch is to get yourself some ants.

[ants feeding at extrafloral nectary at base of leaf - Image source]

Worth a shot.

Ant tending aphids and an assassin bug hiding on a sunflower

[xaeneron]

On Path of Fire

I haven’t done one of these in a while (or rather I wrote them and then forgot to post them lel), so maybe I’ll actually post this one for the new GW2 expansion after spending the week running around.

Overall, I found the expansion to be pretty solid; the maps are beautiful, the mounts are hilarious and well-implemented, the story was interesting and decently paced, and I’m still experimenting with the new elite specs.  Massive spoilers below the cut!

Questions on anything I wrote, thoughts of your own?  Feel free to boop me; I know I wrote a lot.  

But really, don’t say I didn’t warn you.  There are a LOT of bullet points beneath that cut.  xD

On the maps

Obligatory: they are huge.  It’s fitting since they were designed against HoT’s verticality and more geared towards the use of mounts, so it’s more of an observation, less of a complaint.  There’s a lot of detail and a lot of little things here and there, and it’s incredibly fun to see what you can get away with using mounts to get around the terrain.

That being said I do miss the verticality of HoT maps.  Maybe a combination of both pls? :3

I kind of wish there were more large obvious meta events, but I haven’t gotten to see all of the sort of meta events that go on in the PoF zones. I do think the large metas add replay value, but again a balance is a good thing.

We spur-of-the-moment yolo’ed the Ruptured Heart meta with 11 people.  It was actually pretty fun.  Also so many cannonades ;-;

Hearts feel like they take just a little bit too long.  Some of them are amusing, but when trekking through zones doing map comp (or redoing hearts to get collection items) they drag on a bit.  Guild chatter about hearts was fantastic though:

“These nobles are useless.  What should I do with the chamber pot, throw it off the side or throw it at one of them?”

“I’m throwing flowers at people and making them happy?”

“Matchmaker heart best heart.”

Bounties are hilariously fun?  Sometimes you get unfortunate bullshit combinations of modifiers (anti-stacking fleas + pls stack in the bubble to actually be able to hit the boss mob, I’m looking at you), but overall they’re quite fun.  We spent a good few hours trekking through all five zones murdering things and getting murdered.

These actually look super promising for replayability; our goal/challenge as a group has always been to optimize and work together, so it should be fun to go track down bounties and see what kind of dumb shenanigans we can get up to.

I actually find these really fun in small groups of 5-10.  Zergs sound...unfun.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The caffeinated skritt is...kind of annoying.  Mostly because it doesn’t operate like the treasure mushroom in HoT and you have to be on the class you want the collection item on, and the maps are so large someone could trigger a chest and no one would be the wiser.

A tip though for people wanting to complete multiple collections: you only need to loot the last bag it drops.  If you’re wandering around with friends and they’re nice enough to chill at the bag, you can reload with other characters and grab the bag again for another collection item (until it despawns).  I have no idea if this was intended, but I burned a few TP to friends on this for the lulz.

I had a lot of GW1 feels running through these maps, especially going down to the Desolation and Vabbi.  I appreciate that these places still exist but have changed with the years, and it’s nice to see what happened.  

Although Vabbi is one weird-ass place now.

BUUUUUUT Zomoros’ lair was hilarious.

I haven’t explored for the sake of exploring in a very long time and it was really, really nice.

CHOYA PINATA.

On the elite specializations

I haven’t actually gotten to try all of them yet, but I’m also not super enthused about all of them (Spellbreaker, I’m looking at you).  Also a gentle reminder that my opinions are mainly based on my background as a PvE player and moreso as a raider.  Also they’re just initial opinions.  Opinions change.  

I started with thief (duh), and proceeded to do the entire story with Daredevil.  I’m not particularly a fan of Deadeye; I appreciate the archetype but I don’t really see rifle having a place with a game designed more around active response in combat.  Also as someone who still can’t shake the seaweed salad dance, rifle just feels really static and dull to me.  But we’ll see.  Maybe I’ll have to make the Predator hue. D/D Deadeye also felt strange, so idk.  But we’ll keep fiddling with it.

Mirage still feels kind of odd but I need to get poor Naois the spec since he’s actually specced for condi, unlike Eet.  It seems like an upgrade to condi mesmer, and the triple blink is hilarious.

I really hope Scourge ends up with some sort of place.  Initial benchmarks look hilarious (but then, so did Soulbeast/Weaver/Firebrand ones), but I took out Richter again for Scourge and I’m actually really happy to play him again.  It’s been so long ;-;

My brother told me, “do yourself a favor and put down a sand shade near some enemies, then press F4.”  I tried it.  I laughed pretty hard.

Weaver is so much button-pressing but it’s really fun?  I’m still getting the hang of it but I do like it a lot.  At least it’s more challenging than condi tempest. *grumbles eternally*

Soulbeast looks promising, although I hope it doesn’t lead to another “let’s use condi ranger/thief on absolutely everything” situation again.  The new pets are also...interesting.  

Although when it comes to ranger I’m a druid at heart, so we’ll see.  Not that I’m usually conscripted for DPS roles anyway

Firebrand looks silly.  And broken.  I’m all for alternative sources of quickness (and alacrity in the case of other specs), but I don’t really want to see raid meta go to 2x PS 2x druid 2x chrono 2x firebrand (or something like that) with only 2 flex spots.  That doesn’t sound fun at all.

Also I’m guessing Firebrand will be the first to get the nerfbat.  The damage numbers people are getting are bonkers.

And hey look, they got the nerfbat.  Down to 33-35k.  At least that’s better than 50k? Ugh.

Renegade feels pretty decent.  Revenant has always been in a weird “built around elite specs” class, and that hasn’t changed.  I’m not sure how I feel about condi rev being more of a thing and less of a meme, but ayyy

Holosmith seems like it would be a lot more relevant if the transform wasn’t currently borked.  Scaling damage to a level 76 fine weapon is...sad.  If it’s fixed power Holosmith could be something legit?  Maybe?  Overall though I like the theme and look of it.  Also lol lightsaber.

Spellbreaker I...idk.  Thematically I like it a lot; I was a big fan of mesmer and shut down mechanics in GW1 and I like the idea of Spellbreaker, but from a mostly PvE perspective, it’s just kind of...eh? WvW and PvP I see it being incredibly useful but with limited boons to nom in PvE it doesn’t really look particularly great (especially with condi berserker getting tuned through the roof).

On mounts

I keep dyeing them funny colors.  Yes Quill’s are all some shade of yellow.

I honestly think they were well done.  I was never a supporter of adding them to the game (not against, but not for them either), but now that they’re here, I’m pretty okay with them.  

I like that each mount is useful in some specific capacity - raptor for flat open stretches, springer for verticality, skimmer for no touchy floor, jackal for portals and evasion through high mob density areas, and griffon for the absolute lulz of flying.  

I keep getting the “mount doesn’t render so your character model is riding away sunk in the ground while your camera remains in place” bug (I think it’s attached to trying to mount up before things are completely loaded), and while it’s funny, it’s kind of frustrating.

Mount swapping is a bit awkward, although binding each mount to its own key helps a lot.

I appreciate that the starting mount (the raptor) is still relevant even when you pick up the other three (four), as it’s definitely the fastest mount on flat ground and it’s improved leap is hilariously long.

Also it’s a giant scaly puppy so I have no problems with this.

The springer is hilarious.  And super terrain-breaking.  High cliff?  No problem, bunny hop.  Core and HoT map comp probably just got much, much simpler.  Also JPs that don’t have mount restrictions.

The skimmer is adorable, and riding it around is strangely...calming?  idk.  Also as one of my guildies put it: “maybe this is Anet’s answer to underwater combat: glide right over it.”  rip.

Of the four core mounts I think the jackal (blink doge) is my favorite.  It has a gorgeous design and the blink/portals are super cool.  Although the blink can get a bit titchy if you’re trigger happy with the jump button.

Of course I have the griffon.

IT’S SO FLUFFY.

I think it handles a little strangely (esp when you can’t dismount quickly, although you can divebomb), but it’s pretty solid.  And adorable.

250g was entirely worth it.

Also that Tahlkora cameo hit me right in the feels.

On the story

I’d get here eventually!  Eventually...;-;

All salad-shaped biases aside, the male sylvari VO is still my favorite and no one can convince me otherwise.  There was a good amount of sass, seriousness, and everything inbetween.  Ive is one to take everything with a “hahahaha you’re kidding what am I doing here help,” so overall the voice acting and dialogue fit him fairly well.

I’m a little disappointed by the lack of race-specific dialogue.  Humans don’t seem to have any special dialogue with or concerning Balthazar, and everyone else doesn’t really have a chance to comment as an outsider.  I know it’s more work and I still enjoyed the story as is, but it would have been a nice touch.

Like Ive would literally not give a shit about half of the things brought up.  Not because he doesn’t care about others, but because he has no clue what anyone is talking about.

This was particularly funny with Joko in the Domain of the Lost, because his whole tirade about the PC not knowing who he is could quickly be shut down with “I’m a salad, I have no idea who the fuck you are.”

The “decisions” were interesting, although unsurprisingly they had very little impact on the game as a whole (maybe in the future?  Doubt it).  I did appreciate that depending on the order the “decide on Amnoon’s independence” steps are done in, the dialogue changes.

I admit that I’ve gotten a little less partial to Taimi as she’s edged closer to Deus Ex Machina territory, but her dialogue and conversations (both with the PC and with others like Phlunt later on) are quite funny.

I wish there were more Vlast/Gleam before he died.  It’s sad that he showed up and just...died, but I can understand why they chose that path as well.  

Although some of that was my own fault; the chapter with the Exalted and Vlast’s upbringing I got supremely distracted by the jumping puzzle and spinning around on my new skimmer.

Still.  More Vlast!

RYTLOCK.  RYTLOCK WHY.  Nice job breaking it hero.  Surely you would know better than to accept help in the Mists from a random shackled man who CONVENIENTLY knows how to relight your magic sword.  Sigh.

I thought a lot about the Herald of Balthazar after finding the notes in Night of Fires.  I went back to it after talking to my brother and came to a very similar conclusion as a theorizer on the GW2 subreddit.  If that theory is true, that makes me very sad.

Pls say it’s true I like gut-punch feels.

Speaking of gut-punch feels, The Departing was amazing.  It was super disorienting not having access to the inventory or the minimap, but it was a very well-done instance and I enjoyed it immensely.  I appreciated that they stuck to the “you lost your name and purpose” thing to the point of replacing your character name (including in the hero panel) with Lost Spirit.

Balthazar murdering the PC was pretty neat. 

Also Aurene showing up exactly on time was both cliche and NO BALTHAZAR BAD STAY AWAY FROM BABY DRAGON. 

This, like a few other story missions later on, is super awkward to do as a group.  It’s supposed to be rather personal, and so the not-instance owners are reduced to buffing wisps (like later on in the thrall party instance, not-instance owners are just awakened thralls), and idk I was lucky I was instance owner but that seems rather :|

Ive had a lot of feels hearing everyone’s voices again.  Also the feels of him not exactly remembering everything and having to follow his purpose through his own memories and not quite remembering everything.  Including Trahearne.  

Also tfw the story mission is essentially Full Circle (as a sub-section of Closure) with a bit of bonus Balthazar.

Joko is being very obviously set up as a “you left me in a cage I swear vengeance rahhhhhh” villain.  Or Anet is going to pull a fast one and he will never show up again, which would be hilarious.

Bonus feels for everyone else surviving and Ive being the only one dead (think Eet).

Backtracking slightly, I’ve never liked Kormir.  I still don’t like Kormir.  And the human gods are miserably terrible people.  At this point there’s not much questioning as to whether or not they exist, but with the extent of their influence, their decision to just kind of peace is...rather appropriately god-like, for better or for worse.

Seriously though, gods pls.  I can see some of the logic of “world will be destroyed anyway if god attempts to fight god,” but surely there are other things that need be maintained.  

Also I like how Kormir notes that Balthazar had been stripped of his powers, and yet he still curbstomps the PC (unless it was entirely the imprisonment in the Mists that just locked his powers away, but Kormir’s dialogue suggests otherwise).

I would kill for a library like that.  Seriously.  So jelly.

The “let’s disguise ourselves as the Archon and go and convince Palawa Joko’s army to fight for us” part was so incredibly stupid that of course it worked.  We spent the entire time laughing at how incredulous it was.

The battle at Kodash Bazaar was actually kind of awesome?  There was stuff everywhere and my only inclination for the first part of the instance was “go hit things.”  

It was incredibly weird to just have Sohothin for the entire instance.  Yes I’m aware I could have dropped it.  But it was hilarious in a Caladbolg sort of way.  With less idiotic knockback, and more 300s cooldown skills.  

AURENE.  Balthazar stop hurting my dragon >:(

Also because he just yolo killed her other brother before she had a chance to meet him in person?  rip.

Although now that I think about it, how would that meeting even go?  Talking to the Exalted indicates that Vlast was isolated and not well-acclimated to the world around him, so by the time they realized he should be interacting with other races it was too late for him to form any empathy for anyone.  His dialogue seems to imply that his motivation was simply the fulfillment of a goal; he seemed far more interested in fulfilling his legacy as Glint’s son than the reason why she needed him and Aurene to do anything in particular.  He doesn’t really have a reason for what he’s doing, he just does.

Aurene is implied to have an empathic link with Vlast similar to her connection to the PC, but idk, it just seems like any actual meeting between the two of them would just be incredibly awkward.

I very much enjoyed both the penultimate and ultimate fight against Balthazar.  Also because if you turned around, you could see Kralkatorrik’s massive face just chilling in the sky because oh shit angry elder dragon.  It was...quite something.

I understand the PC’s current caution about killing elder dragons because of magic imbalance, and I also understand the need to stop Balthazar from being a total moron.  I also understand that there’s not much you can do to stop a mad god besides killing him (since those with the means to imprison him decided to float on).  But uh.  I’m not sure what anyone expected would happen if you kill the god who absorbed two dragons’ worth of magic with another dragon just chilling nearby.  Surely Kralkatorrik absorbing everything and flying off into the sunset while extending the Brand wasn’t a surprise.  

Seriously though what did you think was going to happen.

Baby dragon absorb magik and is not quite so baby anymore.  Aurene come back I miss you already ;-;

I commend you if you actually read all of that.  xD

Overall, a solid expansion with quite a bit of content.  We’ll see how replayable it ends up being as time goes on, but I am still quite amused by it and have plenty to do as it stands.  The story was fairly solid (although sometimes strange with questionable logic, as always), and I’m looking forward to where they take it with LWS4.  

[housebeleren]

Dominaria Draft Format Review

As I wrap up Dominaria, and jump forward to Guilds of Ravnica, I want to do a quick post-mortem on the Dominaria draft format, since it was one of the best in recent memory.

When I evaluate draft formats, I look at the following four aspects:

Speed - Consisting of its Tempo, Aggression, and Explosiveness

Variety - Consisting of its balance between the Colors/Archetypes, Threats to Removal, & Deck Strategies

Depth - Consisting of the depth within individual cards, within archetypes, and within the metagame as the whole

Fun - Consisting of the Flavor & Theme, the Gameplay itself, and the amorphous “X-Factor”

Additionally, I look over the themes & mechanics, review noteworthy decks, identify strategy, and eventually give it a grade.

Art: Zack Stella

With that in mind, let’s get to it.

Speed

Tempo - Slower than average. While there are some decent early drops, most of the mechanics favor defensive strategies. It’s perfectly fine to spend the first few turns ramping, playing support spells, and otherwise durdling.

Aggression - Attackers are advantaged as long as they’re well stocked with good equipment or auras, but the mechanics overall favor defense and building a strong board presence before going on the offense. The few exceptions to this are cards like Pegasus Courser, which very clearly favors an aggressive strategy.

Explosiveness - There are some cards that can run away with the game if left unchecked, but mostly at higher rarities. There are sudden wins possible, usually by setting up a couple big turns in the mid to late game. (I’m looking at you, In Bolas’s Clutches) 

Variety

Balanced Colors/Archetypes - All the colors feel viable. Every time I heard that one color or archetype was better than another, the meta would change. That said, with the right payoffs, B/G Saprolings was considered a clear front-runner, but it was also easy to miss the mark on without opening one of the Uncommon power cards. Many archetypes turned out to be great options.

Balanced Threats to Removal - The removal stacked up against the threats really well in this format. Thanks to Kicker, a lot of the good early removal stayed relevant into the late game (Shivan Fire & Vicious Offering), and the a lot of more costly removal was versatile, with different modes (Fiery Intervention & Blessed Light), reducing the need to sideboard in narrow answers. Control was definitely well-served in the format.

Balanced Deck Strategies - Very few pure aggro decks exist in this format, but several midrange and control decks are completely viable. And tempo decks like R/U Wizards served as a sort of aggro to keep the format feeling somewhat balanced.

Depth

Individual Card Depth - This is one of the best formats on this count in years. There are a few constructed-only cards (see. Damping Sphere), but otherwise, the cards are incredibly deep and varied in their application. Every card has multiple uses, and it felt like you could take the draft many different directions. Very few truly dead cards.

Depth Within Archetypes - The archetypes are mostly deep and contain many strong cards to combine together, though there are some clear best options.

Metagame Depth - Lots of variety in the gameplay, decks match up against each other in interesting, varied ways, so matches rarely felt stale.

Fun

Flavor & Theme - Great flavor and theme. I was skeptical of a return to Dominaria, yet they found a fantastic way to capture the feeling of history & nostalgia without it being an “inside joke” like Time Spiral. Each card tells a story, and opening packs was always a joy.

Gameplay - Gameplay was interesting & unique, though games often came down to bombs in the end. The format is fun, but with the occasional unfun win here and there.

The X-Factor - Dominaria was a really fun set with a lot of great card combinations & incredible flavor. Games were fun, even when lost. Mostly.

Themes & Mechanics

Sagas - Sagas played well, though I wish there was a little more interaction with them. Maybe next time around. They leaned the format a little slower and more prone to big swings rather than consistent aggression.

Historic - As a bucket keyword, Historic isn’t a particularly exciting mechanic, but it got the job done. It was the synergistic glue that held the format together, and it did a good job of it.

Kicker - Kicker is always excellent. It allows cards to play early & late game, and helps prevent any hand from being dead. Having Kicker as a mini-theme for one of the archetypes was a nice way to weave it deeper into the set.

Legendary Sorceries - Appearing only at Rare, these didn’t make much of an impact on the format.

Knight, Wizard, & Saproling Tribal - These were some of my favorite archetypes to draft, and the synergies were well executed & flavorful.

I liked Sagas quite a bit, and would love to see them again in future sets. They work well in a format with support like this, but they also could work standalone as well. Kicker is always welcome to me, and I’d love to see Wizards & Knights revisited. Historic was good for Dominaria, but doesn’t seem like it will have much application in further sets. Legendary sorceries were a cool idea, but I don’t think the execution was great and could pass on them in the future.

Noteworthy Decks

U/G/X Tatyova Ramp - 3+ color deck based on drafting Tatyova, Benthic Druid and a variety of color fixing cards to be able to ramp into & play the bombs of every color.

G/B Saprolings - Focused G/B deck picking up all the Saproling enablers & payoffs that no other deck wants. Slimefoot, the Stowaway was the linchpin of this deck.

W/U Historic Flash - Deck focused on Historic payoffs and operating at Instant speed to control the board & tempo. Raff Capashen, Ship’s Mage and Sentinel of the Pearl Trident were key parts in this deck.

U/R Wizards - Tempo based deck with Adeliz, the Cinder Wind at the helm. You want as many Academy Journeymages as you can get your hands on, as well as just about any Wizard that you can, since this archetype is so focused on synergy. This is one of the only archetypes that can win without any clearly definable bomb.

B/R Destroy Everything - Control deck based on drafting as much removal as possible, plus ways to churn value out of your graveyard like Garna the Bloodflame and Whisper, Blood Liturgist. Outlasting the opponent was the strategy here.

Strategy Notes

Dominaria is a format determined both by bombs & strong synergies. Prioritize strong individual cards first, and unconditional removal over situational (i.e. Eviscerate over Vicious Offering). Let the powerful cards you open draw you into a deck without trying to force anything. Once your first few picks are established, start looking for synergistic picks to maximize them.

Every color is playable, but some archetypes are more synergy-dependent than others. If you find yourself deep in Saprolings or Wizards, you can play some less-optimal cards that fit into the creature types, such as Tolarian Scholar, but skip those cards if you don’t have the synergies. Goblin Warchief implies that Goblins are a viable archetype, but Goblins are a trap. Don’t don’t fall for it. Lastly, don’t get distracted by the Saga text on Keldon Warcaller. Play it if you need a bear to fill your curve, and not otherwise.

Overall Grade & Final Thoughts

Dominaria is an overall excellent format with a lot of deep interactions and powerful cards. The slower speed and strength of removal was a welcome change of pace from the hyper aggressive formats in recent past. The theme and flavor of the set was phenomenal, and the games were lots of fun. My only quibble is that the power level of the bombs was so far and above and beyond the rest of the field that it could be hard to compete if you didn’t open or get passed any bombs. But, it’s a pretty minor quibble at that. Draft Dominaria & have fun.

Overall Grade: A-

[invokingbees]

Dark Souls

Just beat the remaster and I have feelings. I know I am very very late to this game, but fuck you! I’m talking about it.

tl;dr at the very bottom.

My general, overall impression, fresh off beating the game + DLC is, well, frank astonishment at how underwhelmed I was. Yeah, sorry to be like this but I didn't really enjoy myself. I didn't completely hate it, but I'm not feeling a particular pull to play it again, NG+ or new build. There are no parts, sections, events, areas, fights which make me go 'I wanna experience that again'. Nothing stood out to me as 'wow that was really cool'. Some clarification: I played this series in absolute ass backwards order. Bloodborne, to DaS3, to DaS2, to DaS3 again, to Demon's, to DaS1R. Of course I have also been spoiled beyond imagination, but then again, I was spoiled on every game, more or less. Maybe the problem is with that order, I dunno. But after having gone back, with all my knowledge on how those games work and play, knowing how to get into it, man, I just really didn't like it and I feel a little sad.

I played, or at least tried to play, a pure caster, but found that to be pretty much impossible. Magic charges, while I appreciate being able to stack them and not having a shared ammo pool, are badly hindered by the lack of any replenishment beyond sitting at a bonfire. Miss a soul spear? Too bad, it's gone unless bone home or sit down. A fresh/old spice equivalent would have been appreciated, but after how powerful magic was in Demon's Souls, I guess From wanted to tone it down, but they ended up nerfing it into near uselessness. Being a caster and having to rely primarily on a melee weapon, with magic either a desperate back up or to be saved for a boss, felt wrong. I used spears throughout the game for range, but their narrow hitboxes got me in trouble a bunch of times. Not to mention to sheer lack of variety, I ended up using three spear weapons only for their damage types rather than to try something new and fun. Armour was heavily restricted due to low stamina, as points needed to go elsewhere for me to have any chance in combat. All of this combined created a pretty painful experience.

And the ring problem. I had the ring of favour equipped as it boosted my otherwise low stats and allowed me a smidgen of freedom in what to wear. That left me with one ring slot which, although it got swapped out at intervals for some specific situations, sat on the Bellowing Dragoncrest Ring. And there's the problem of the Dusk Crown not only be necessary for a damage boost, but looking absolutely horrendous. It's not like Demon's Souls didn't have stuff like this – the ring of magical sharpness was required for powerful spells and the Old Monk's Headwrap further empowered your magic and was ugly to look at. But Demon's Souls also had replenishable magic from a variety of sources, so nerfing yourself wasn't too much of a blow. In Dark Souls, though, you gotta wear that ring, wear that awful crown. Your options for how you look become even more limited on top of low stamina. And of course that prohibits how much damage you can take, too. Many deaths were had very quickly. That's to say nothing of just how slow and clunky absolutely everything felt. I load up Demon's every so often and am surprised how well such an older game holds up, and especially compared to Dark Souls. Demon's was faster, more fluid, more responsive, whereas Dark Souls, when I should be the equivalent of a god, still felt weak as hell. High levels in Demon's feel truly powerful.

The world. Looking at it as objective as I can, it's very well crafted. The shortcuts, the way everything layers is all very nicely done, opening places up was interesting, seeing where things went, where they led back to, clearly a ton of thought was put into physical make up of Lordran. I just wish I had actually enjoyed these places. Every area I beat, every boss that died, I thought to myself, that goodness that's done with. And it just kept happening. Most of the locations, visually, were fine. I have to say, nothing much stood out to me as pretty, or awe-inspiring, or cool, etc. The two places which had any impact beyond 'oh jeez what now' were Ash Lake (even though it looks...bad, graphics-wise) and Kiln of the First Flame (which is in reality just a really big Below The Nexus). That's about it. Places that stand out to me as absolutely detestable, though, numero uno on that list is Blighttown. What an absolute pile of unfun shit, irritating on every level, somehow actually managing to be worse than Demon's Souls’ Valley of the Defilement and buddy, let me tell you something, that's an achievement. It's mercifully shorter than the Valley, I guess. Demon Ruins and Lost Izalith were just as bad as everyone says they are – blatantly unfinished, slapped together jokes. Sour the experience badly. Anor Londo was quite vexing with the archers, of course, the *coughcough*Latria demons*coughcough*  were quite the pain for a spear-user. Everything else I'm struggling to remember even now because, honestly, nothing stuck. The DLC was short and okay. The Abyss was kind of annoying but didn't particularly bother me once I had cleared it out of items. I liked the Humanity sprites floating around.

I want to say that it was later games that spoiled my experience of this, I want to say that the refinement of combat, graphics and music spoiled my enjoyment of an older product, but I can't say that because I played Demon's Souls before this and I can honestly say, 100%, without a suggestion of a mere hint of contrarianism or nostalgia, that I think Demon's Souls was a better game. I think a big problem that’s always in the back of my head, is down to simple taste on the themes and tone. Dark Souls is a game set long, long after a golden age, where the world is winding down, the heroes are long gone, the gods are dead, everywhere is deserted and curse besets the planet. It's a melancholy, tragic, sad, tired atmosphere, full of colossi that are shadows of themselves and we're all running on fumes, ready to go hollow at the drop of a hat. And that, frankly, doesn't interest me. It's just not my thing. Demon's Souls presented a world FALLING apart, at the tail end of a collapse that's still kinda-sorta-happening. We're in the midst of a bad shit as we explore the remains of the world. And Bloodborne presents to us a world in the very midst of an apocalypse, on the night of a hunt. More importantly, Demon's Souls and Bloodborne have very overt tinges of horror to them. Bloodborne, especially, of course, but take one look around the Tower of Latria in Demon's and you'd be hard pressed to believe you weren't in the middle of a survival horror. Demon's Souls atmosphere is unparalleled and I think Bloodborne meets it. There's an oppressive feeling to everything in Demon's, Boletaria feels terribly hostile, Latria is a hellscape designed by alien-minded madmen, the Shrine of Storms wants you dead and Valley of Defilement want you out. Stonefang...doesn't seem to care, and in my opinion is the weakest part of Demon's Soul. Valley sucks, sure, but it gets Maiden Astraea. It's the more horror-bent to DeS and BB that make them shine to me, that draw me in. Dark Souls doesn't have that anywhere. It comes closest in the Duke's Archives, but never quite gets there and is absent everywhere else.

Can I admire and respect Dark Souls? Absolutely. It was a big, bold project in an era of gaming that shouldn't have welcomed it and it took much work and was clearly handled with passion. It put From Software on the map and paved the way for an entire new subgenre. It was a trendsetter. It has already gone down in history as a classic and massive meme game. It'll affect us for years to come. But did I actually like it? No, not really. I think Demon's Souls was a more memorable experience with a mix of tone, theme, character and atmosphere we won't ever see the likes of again. I think Bloodborne is a fucken masterpiece of goddamn everything that won't be easily be beaten in its masterful handling of gothic, cosmic and pretty much ever flavour of horror in a fast-paced action game. So yeah, it's a let down for me. I wish it wasn't this way, but alas, I'll have to wait til Shadows Die Twice for more From Software goodness, and hopefully, a more horror-tinged take on the historical Japanese setting.

tl;dr I didn't really like it and although I understand its importance, I think other games did it better

[tiasmusings]

My Great Designer Search Answers

1. An evergreen mechanic is a keyword mechanic that shows up in (almost) every set. If you had to make an existing keyword mechanic evergreen, which one would you choose and why?

Bolster. It goes well in White, which is the color that feels like it could most do to gain a new central mechanic (Lifelink is shared with an enemy color and has no unifying flavor, Flying is almost vanilla in spite of being fairly powerful, and Vigilance is one of my personal favorite keywords but doesn’t get people excited), makes interesting changes to the game’s dynamics by making a player’s smallest threat potentially a far larger one, and can be given a strong story by way of “the meek shall inherit the Multiverse.” Its ability to shorthand the limitations of its targeting creates design space for things like a spell that grants the weakest creature available to it the power of a god but burns that creature out of existence in the process, or to give a small bonus to the smallest creature and then allow that creature to do something mighty. And it can make a very different impact on the game’s environment based on how frequently it shows up.

Much like Giant Growth and “counter target spell,” the basic effect “Bolster 1” lends itself to rider effects to make keeping it in standard interesting. An Ixalan Vampire-themed card (Elenda’s Blessing, say), could be “1W: Bolster 1. The creature that gains a counter from this effect gains Lifelink until end of turn,” while a similar effect in Kaladesh could grant the creature some form of protection against or affinity to artifacts, and be flavored as the lowest apprentice having a design epiphany.

2. If you had to remove evergreen status from a keyword mechanic that is currently evergreen, which one would you remove and why?

Deathtouch. I’m primarily a casual player of Magic - I prefer longer games, themed decks, and laughing together to the fast pace and limited functional archetypes of competitive play. In casual Magic, there is no keyword I’ve seen that brings things to a quick, unfun halt faster than Deathtouch.

In casual play, the main goals are to play fun cards and have them do things. There is very little in this world quite so satisfying as playing the last land you need for your Scaled Wurm or Blazing Archon or Charging Monstrosaur, tapping everything, and slapping that card on the table with a flourish and a smirk - and very, very little as disappointing as looking across the table at your opponent’s two-mana Aether Poisoner and realizing that your big, expensive creature is going to sit on your side of the battlefield helpless until you find a way to get rid of that thing.

Indestructible has a similar effect in casual play - casual decks have less removal in general , and less of that removal can deal with Indestructible creatures - but Indestructible is less of a problem in and of itself because you can go wide around it or attack with creatures big enough to survive a fight with the Indestructible creature and make your opponent choose between using their creature to block your biggest creature and killing one of your other creatures. But Deathtouch’s effect on casual play is more painful for the person on the wrong end of it and less fun for the person playing the card.

3. You're going to teach Magic to a stranger. What's your strategy to have the best possible outcome?

I take two relatively simple, relatively balanced decks, preferably with strong themes - modifications of the existing Planeswalker decks are optimal for this job, as are constructed decks that are built specifically for it and tailored to the person’s stated interests (if they are wearing a cat sweater and talking about their cats, I might hand them my Amonkhet cat tribal deck); intro decks are good but not perfect because while they are straightforward in play and talk about the meanings of the colors quite eloquently, they don’t produce an immediate and visceral connection to their story. If I can, I give them the stronger of the two decks, though given the choice between giving them the stronger of the decks and giving them the deck more likely to capture their interest, I’d go with the one they’d find more interesting. Then we’d sit down and play a hand of Magic, hands face-up on the table, talking through each decision that’s made during the game and why, and without running over any idea they think of while the game is played.

And, if they had time, I’d do it a second time, maybe trading decks first, before starting a third game with hands hidden and less guidance.

That’s the basics of how I learned to play Magic (though the person who taught me was a lot more smug about it than I’d want to be when teaching a new player), and how I’ve generally taught others to play. Most of the people I’ve taught to play Magic have continued, at least for a while, to do so, and have bought their own product and built their own decks.

Magic is its own draw - it’s a good, flavorful, enjoyable game - and the most important things that a person can do to help others enter the hobby is to not chase them away when they come in the door. Magic will quite often do the rest on its own.

4. What is Magic's greatest strength and why?

The fact that Magic tells stories on three different levels at once, and, on its best days, all three can both be compelling individually and complement one another.

Each set tells a story. They create a world in art and flavor text and mechanical constructions, and they tell us about the people who live there and the people who visit and some important event that shakes its foundations and changes the lives of everyone present. Sometimes this story is told in broad strokes, like the fall of the nations of Sarpadia; others it is told in an intensely personal way, like the quests of Jace and Vraska and Huatli for the Immortal Sun and what those quests mean to them and how they are changed by them.

Each game tells a story, and each deck can be a tool for determining what sort of story is told. Planeswalker-focused decks can talk about who the Planeswalker at their center is and what they want and how they get it; tribal decks can tell stories about how a race or nation tries to survive a hard world. One of my favorite decks that I’ve seen is my girlfriend’s Ixalan-based dinosaur deck, which tells stories about the wizard represented by her opponent exploring the land of Ixalan and encountering its dangers.

And the best cards in Magic, the ones that stick in the memories of the players who open them and inspire that player to build decks around them and bring loyalty from that player far in excess of the card’s play utility… those are stories, too. In my early days of playing Magic, I pulled a Kjeldoran Skyknight. At three mana, the Skyknight wasn’t a very good card even with three keywords, but I could see her in my mind, dropping out of the clouds lance-first astride her heart-bonded aesthir, plunging into battle alongside her companions against the hordes of Lim-Dul. It’s been well over two decades, and I’ve left and returned to Magic twice, but I still remember the physical experience of finding that card in that deck.

5. What is Magic's greatest weakness and why?

In professional poker, most hands start with everyone looking at their cards and most of the table folding. There is a threshold for how good your hand must be before it is worth the time and money to play it, and that threshold is fairly high compared with the number of possible combinations of cards, so players simply leave the game. This works in professional poker because each hand of poker is quick, meaning that the players who folded are back in the game in a few minutes, and because the actual competition of poker is played out over a large number of these quick hands.

Magic has the hand-threshold problem without those mitigating factors, and its nature as a collectible and customizable game exacerbates this, leading to too many players sitting through games where their initial draw left them not just at a disadvantage but in an unwinnable position from the word ‘go’. The intricate interaction of land balance and mana curves in Magic is fascinating, but for people just sitting down and building their first deck - or experimenting with something daring and interesting - too often it leads to frustrating situations where they still have to play out a half-hour game to get to the final conclusion that they knew was coming from the start.

Magic is a great game, but if it were not the first trading card game (which is the actual source of this weakness - that it was first means that a lot of design technology did not exist when its foundation was laid), it would almost certainly not need a mulligan rule, and it would almost certainly not produce nearly as many frustrating table states.

6. What Magic mechanic most deserves a second chance (aka which had the worst first introduction compared to its potential)?

Ninjutsu, from Betrayers of Kamigawa. This is a mechanic that captured everything it needed to about the thing being described - ninjas are sneaky, masters of deception and disguise and distraction, and you really don’t want them to get close to you but keeping them from doing so is virtually impossible. It fit well not just into the flavor of the world for which it was introduced, but also into Magic’s metaphysics - its location on the color pie in Blue and Black is immediately obvious, and it is a trick that takes investment from both the creature (which must become an attacking creature - a dangerous thing in Magic’s world) and the Planeswalker who summoned it. It means that, if a deck is running Blue or Black in a format that has Ninjutsu, it’s never safe to let any of its creatures through. It’s fun to play with, highly interactive, creates choices for both the player using it and their opponent. Ninjutsu died with Kamigawa, but it deserves a chance to really shine.

With the fact that Kamigawa is rated 8 on the Rabiah scale and the Ninjutsu keyword is completely thematically tied up in that world’s thematics, Ninjutsu would almost certainly have to be renamed to get a second chance. Thankfully, its effects call just as well to any sneaky Dimir-colored organization or tradition that has a habit of murdering important people. One space I can easily see for it is in a set built in whatever replacement is eventually created for Rabiah itself, as an Assassination keyword for a faction based on the historical Nizari.

7. Of all the Magic expansions that you've played with, pick your favorite and then explain the biggest problem with it.

There are a number of expansions that I could mark as my favorite, so I’m going to talk about Fallen Empires. When I first started playing Magic, Fallen Empires packs were a dollar each because the set was overprinted and under-popular, and I, as a broke teenager needing cards, bought rather a lot of them, and I developed a fondness for the land and people of Sarpadia that I can’t quite explain. Fallen Empires was the first real “tribal” set, and explored interesting themes of intra-color conflict and large-scale worldbuilding that were very compelling. Thallids, Thrulls, and Icatians captured my imagination immediately, and I was even quite fond of the bizarre, tide-based Homarids.

But none of the themes of Fallen Empires was really fully realized. There was not enough separation between the tribes of each color - the merfolk and the homarids were supposed to be at war, but there was no reason not to use them together in your deck. There was no mechanical capture of the idea of the Thrulls overthrowing the Order of the Ebon Hand or the Thallids starting as a food source for the Elves and becoming their doom, and it took me until years after the set’s release to figure out who the second faction in White actually was. But most fatally of all, there was insufficient support for each tribe in the set, or in the Core sets surrounding it, to actually build a tribal deck. Very few tribes had tribal-matters cards, and I don’t think any had enough cards available to it to actually build a complete, even very bad, sixty-card deck.

And this is a lot of why I fell so immediately in love with Ixalan - Ixalan does much of what I loved about Fallen Empires, except that, at least for casual play, it actually lands mechanically. I would love to see my old fungus guys and crabfolk given the love and modern design that Ixalan’s dinosaurs and conquistador vampires have received.

8. Of all the Magic expansions that you've played with, pick your least favorite and then explain the best part about it.

There is a trend in Magic’s storytelling that gets under my skin in a way that is not at all pleasant - the tendency for a block’s story to end with an immense change to the plane on which it was set that destroys or deemphasizes the things about that plane that drew my interest in the first place. The most recent of these was Eldritch Moon, which took the fascinating angel-focused Gothic horror world of Innistrad and essentially wiped out the angels while stripping away most of its Gothic horror elements in favor of Lovecraftian cosmic terror.

But the set had two huge strengths. The first was mechanical - it was full of fascinating mechanics. While I found Annihilate more frustrating to play against than fun to play with, both Transform and Meld were very enjoyable mechanics that spoke well to the stories they were telling. From a personal perspective, I disliked what was done to the angels and people of Innistrad during this set, but Meld in particular accomplished its goals with a degree of mechanical elegance that I very much admire - everything about it from the usefulness of the cards involved before melding them to the fact that, once the cards are in play, the player doesn’t have a choice (driving home the inevitability of Emrakul’s influence) was, I think, absolutely brilliant.

In story terms, the very end of Eldritch Moon’s arc, where Emrakul sealed herself away in the moon, was brilliant - an elegant solution to the story’s most pressing conflict, and a powerful statement about the alien and ineffable nature of the Eldrazi.

9. You have the ability to change any one thing about Magic. What do you change and why?

I would change the balance between removal, threats, and protection from removal. Removal - and removal being cheaper than creatures, in particular - is essential to keeping the game’s board state from bogging down, but often the creatures that are most impressive (and most fun and expensive to play) write themselves out of competitive, and sometimes even casual, playability with their vulnerability to removal magic. Slightly increasing the cost of removal and being more generous with current protections from it (Protection, Indestructible, Hexproof) would help some with that, but changing the cost on removal risks rendering it unplayable, while the current most common protections entirely invalidate removal as a strategy.

I would prefer to have more cards that defend against removal at a cost or in specific circumstances. Adanto Vanguard is a good example of this, and seeing abilities like that on more creatures would allow for removal spells to still shift the battlefield without requiring creatures in fast environments to have an enter the battlefield effect or face a high risk of being written off. But even better than that would be permanents that can protect other, more valuable permanents from removal.

A keyword like Guardian X (pay X life: This permanent becomes the target of target spell or effect an opponent controls which targets a card you control. This permanent must be a legal target for that spell or effect.) could be a key to this change. I would avoid combining it with Flash, and make it primary in White. X would be higher the smaller and cheaper the creature with Guardian is - 4 or perhaps 5 on a 1/1 creature for W, 1 or 0 on a 5/6 creature for 3WWW.

[housebeleren]

Random Commander Challenge: Gerrard, Weatherlight Hero

Another month, another random Commander challenge complete. Honestly, I’m really enjoying doing this. It’s been super fun to improve my deckbuilding skills, and it adds variance to my weekly EDH games, since there are always new matchups to experience. For September, I chose randomly out of the Commander 2019 lineup, so I could highlight one of the new generals from that set. I ended up with Gerrard, Weatherlight Hero, and it proved to be a really fun deck to build and pilot. Let’s get to it!

Art: Zack Stella

Theme

There are two primary elements to a Gerrard build, in my eyes. The first is to make use of his mechanical ability, which is awesome for White/Red as it allows you to break parity on mass removal. Additionally, it enables a few fun combos, so I tried to include those when I could, though I opted for very few tutors so it wouldn’t feel too linear as a “combo” deck. The second aspect I wanted to include was some amount of Gerrard-flavored cards, which could include other Weatherlight characters, cards with Gerrard in the art or flavor text, or just other cards from the time period of the Weatherlight saga.

Luckily, I was able to do some of both, and a few cards even fit perfectly into both themes.

Card Groups

Gerrard Recursion - The first, and most important thing to understand building any Gerrard deck is how to get around the exile clause in his ability so you don’t have to keep paying Commander Tax. The key is that if you can return Gerrrard to the Battlefield or your Hand with his death trigger on the stack, the rest of the ability will resolve and Gerrard will not be exiled. This is absolutely critical to understand because it basically enables your entire deck strategy. So the first group of cards to consider are cards that will return Gerrard from your grave at Instant speed. Gift of Immortality is the MVP in this regard, since it allows Gerrard to die once per turn, and will return him immediately, then reattach itself later. The other very best option is Loyal Retainers, since this creature plus a free sacrifice outlet and Gerrard can go infinite, and is one of the essential combo engines in the deck. Other less-great-but-still-good options are Sigil of the New Dawn and Angelic Renewal, the latter of which can be reused with Sun Titan, if needed, Brought Back & Faith’s Reward as one-shot Instants, and Squee’s Embrace, which not only can be reused with Sun Titan but is also a massive flavor win. I also recommend a couple of Enchantment tutors to go find these pieces, as they are so essential. Plus, they can help find some of your combos, too. Lastly, Adarkar Valkyrie can also work here, and if you have a sacrifice outlet, you can activate it with Gerrard’s trigger on the stack to bring back Gerrard, then sacrifice it so it will be reanimated once Gerrard’s ability resolves. Sneaky, huh?

Sacrifice Outlets - Once you have a way to recur Gerrard, you need a way to kill him (damn, that’s morbid). Your best bets are no-cost sacrifice outlets. The very best in the game is Goblin Bombardment, since it can help pick off opposing dorks, and is part of the Loyal Retainers combo as well. Phyrexian Altar and Ashnod’s Altar are also good, and can also combo with the Retainers to generate infinite mana for a Comet Storm win. I honestly should have included more sacrifice outlets in my build, but I didn’t realize how critical this group would be. Altar of Dementia is another great free outlet that can serve as an alternate win con, and there are some offbeat options too, like Betrothed of Fire, Bogardan Dragonheart, Fanatical Devotion, and Tooth and Claw. I wouldn’t include all of these, but 4-5 free sac outlets is probably ideal.

Value Creatures - Okay, so we can now keep reusing Gerrard, but we need something useful to do with that. Until we assemble a game-winning combo, the best thing to do is continually squeeze value out of creatures that either have ETB/LTB effects or can sacrifice themselves for an effect. First, Solemn Simulacrum, Burnished Hart, and Kor Cartographer are great ways to ramp yourself in colors that can’t often do so. Duergar Hedge-Mage is a fantastic way to remove opposing threats that I’m honestly shocked it doesn’t see more play, while Fiend Hunter is good on its own but is even better with a sac outlet. Some larger options are Sun Titan and Inferno Titan, and I of course played the recursion package of Karmic Guide and Reveillark, which are essential here. As for creatures that can sacrifice themselves, I run Bounty Agent (as Commander spot removal), Generator Servant (for quick ramp bursts), Magus of the Wheel (because duh), and Starke of Rath, which not only can remove any creature, but can be sacrificed in response to its ability so he doesn’t change sides, plus he’s a massive flavor win.

Mass Removal - Getting incremental value is all fine and good, but one quick way for Gerrard to pull ahead is to break parity on board wipes. I opted for Wrath of God, Austere Command, Dusk/Dawn, Solar Blaze, and Akroma’s Vengeance as my primary board wipes. In addition, Magus of the Disk and his namesake, Nevinyrral’s Disk are awesome, and can bring your opponents to a complete standstill if you threaten to pop them every turn. I also threw in Cataclysmic Gearhulk and Archangel Avacyn as fun options that can both serve as lesser board wipes. Playing lots of mass removal will slow down the game, but it gives you time to build a combo win, or can even just keep the board clear so you can start swinging without fear.

Combo Pieces - To avoid the game grinding to a halt and being completely unfun, it’s critical for decks like this to include some ways to combo off, and to do so relatively quickly. I already mentioned Loyal Retainers, but it bears repeating, since they are one of the most critical combo pieces, and one of the only ways to actually “go infinite” in one turn. Loyal Retainers + Goblin Bombardment + Gerrard = kill the table, and if you replace Bombardment with Ashnod’s or Phyrexian Altar, it’s infinite mana, which can fuel a Comet Storm to blow up the table. If you don’t have Bombardment, then other good options are Purphoros, Impact Tremors, or Stalking Vengeance, all of which can turn your creature loops lethal with very little effort. Aurelia, the Warleader also falls in the combo category, since it’s technically possible with a sac outlet and the retainers to get infinite combats with her and win that way. Finally, I threw in Kiki Jiki & Zealous Conscripts, which combo instantly with each other, but are also good cards in the deck in their own right, so I think they merit inclusion either way.

Flavor Wins - Finally, I wanted to make sure this deck had some good Gerrard flavor. He can’t host the whole Weatherlight crew, like Sisay can, but there are plenty of cards that not only have flavor, but also fit with the deck’s theme. I already mentioned Starke of Rath, which is a great flavor win here. Either version of Squee can also be a good inclusion, but particularly great is Squee’s Embrace. On a jankier note, I threw in Brawl, which is a bad board wipe but has Gerrard and Tahngarth in the art, which is pretty cool. Orim’s Thunder is a decent playable that can take out two threats at once, and Debt of Loyalty is a super cool card with Gerrard in the art that I’m quite surprised doesn’t see more play in White decks as an easy way to steal powerful creatures from the enemy. Lastly, I also included the Weatherlight itself, despite being A) not a particularly great card and B) being the new version that Jhoira captains. Because y’know what? It’s still a flavor win and I have a foil one so I might as well play it somewhere.

Those are the main card groups. Once you put those together, the rest is pretty easy. Mana rocks to help accelerate your game plan (also Mind Stone and Commander’s Sphere can be brought back with Gerrard’s ability, so those are great), spot removal to deal with important threats, a couple situational tutors (If you have Recruiter of the Guard or Imperial Recruiter, they’re great to find Loyal Retainers, but I didn’t have them and didn’t want to spend money on them), and a few other random pieces for fun. I put a minor Sneak Attack line into mine, but I probably should have cut it, since it really isn’t a Sneak Attack deck, despite the potential to use Gerrard to recur big creatures ahead of schedule.

Win Conditions & Lines of Play

This will be pretty straightforward, since I went over most of the win conditions above.

Loyal Retainers Loop - This is the best and easiest combo to put together, since it only requires Loyal Retainers and any sac outlet, plus your general. The best sac outlet is Goblin Bombardment, since that’s already a win. But if you don’t have Bombardment, this can generate you infinite mana off of Ashnod’s or Phyrexian Altar for a Comet Storm win, or create infinite ETBs for Purphoros or Impact Tremors. There are tons of options here and they’re somewhat mix and match. Lastly, if you don’t have Loyal Retainers, you can build a harder version of this loop with Karmic Guide & Reveillark, and in that case, you don’t need Gerrard at all. Just a sac outlet and one of the aforementioned win conditions will do the trick.

Purphoros Grind - Okay, let’s say you can’t go truly “infinite,” but you can put together some slower loops, perhaps using Gift of Immortality and a sac outlet to sacrifice and recur your entire board once per turn. In that case, Purphoros, Impact Tremors, and Stalking Vengeance can all work as ways to slowly whittle down your opponent. And, by slowly, I mean relatively quickly. You don’t have the benefit here of winning literally all in one turn, but this path can deal 5-10 damage to each opponent per turn pretty easily, and that only means a couple of times around the table before you’ve got it in the bag. Don’t sleep on this line.

Kiki-Conscripts - Kiki Jiki plus Zealous Conscripts is a classic instant win combo, and the good news is both creatures are fantastic additions to the deck anyway. The great news is even if one piece dies, there’s lots of recursion in White, so you should be able to assemble this combo from the Graveyard just as easily as from your hand. Have fun!

Smash Face - Honestly, the last line of play here is just to smash face. Your masses of removal should keep the board pretty clear so you can swing in every turn, and once you have titans and gearhulks out, that can be for a lot of damage. Not to mention Aurelia doesn’t need to go infinite to be good. She can threaten tons of damage with just a few friends. And the good news is, unlike most Boros decks that struggle to rebuild, Gerrard is designed to be resilient, so you should be able to keep a relatively full board through lots of trials and tribulations. 

When I’ve won with this deck, it’s generally been through a combination of grinding out with my value engines plus smashing face, so definitely don’t ignore those as viable options. Frequently the path to victory with this deck won’t be all in one combo, but accruing value over time and chipping away. The combos are in there for good measure and for the occasional quick win.

Conclusion

I admit I did go over budget on this deck, and pretty significantly. The main reason was I think this deck absolutely requires Loyal Retainers, and I wasn’t willing to sleeve it up without them. That said, the rest of the pieces I didn’t already have were pretty cheap, though I could see it being a hard deck to make work on a true budget, since Purphoros and Phyrexian Altar aren’t cards everyone has just lying around. Still, it’s a super fun deck and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a different way to build Boros.

I won 2 games out of 6 with Gerrard, which is a pretty strong record. Not as good as I managed with Tuvasa, but I think that was a fluke, and it was out of fewer games so it’s harder to know how well it worked. Gerrard was a lot of fun and felt strong, so I was very pleased with it.

For October, I landed on M19 Elder Dragon Vaevictis Asmadi, the Dire. I’ve never built a Jund deck, so this should be interesting. Plus, if I like it, it could lead into a build for Korvold, from the upcoming Brawl decks. We’ll see what happens!