#its probably my favorite death note fan creation

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with MustangSally

MustangSally has 33 stories at Gossamer. Even if you haven’t read it, you’ve probably heard of at least one of them, Iolokus, since it’s an X-Files fanfic classic. All her fics hit big and are well worth your time. I’ve recced some of my favorites here before, including And Dance by the Light of the Moon, All the Children are Insane, and Iolokus. Big thanks to MustangSally for doing this interview.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I could tell you but then I would have to kill you.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Yes and no. Yes, because life has moved on since the early nineties and the characters and the fans are in vastly different places now. Our current tech would make the premise of the X-Files impossible. No, because of the longevity of some of the Star Trek TOS work (there’s an archive of hard copy fanzines at the University of Iowa). Top-drawer authors started out in TOS fandom.

I’m just greatly saddened that my physical body is showing wear and tear while the fic doesn’t. Fic gets to stay smooth-skinned and muscular, captured at the peak of perfection.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

At the risk of sounding atrociously trite, I think of the friends I made.  I met some very remarkable women that I’ve been able to stay friends with online for over twenty-five years.  We may have moved to Facebook and post entirely too much about our pets and which of our body parts has sagged this week, but we’re friends.  It’s a furiously funny, feminist, and well-educated group of women with jobs in the highest levels of academia, finance, communications, and media.  I’m amused by the fact that if I have a question about how a virus replicates, I can ask a PhD I’ve been drunk with in Las Vegas.

Back in the day, I had a job that sent me traveling around major cities in the US and UK. I could post on a message board and within ten minutes there were people I could go out for dinner and drinks with. We already knew we had something we could talk about for at least a couple of hours. Additionally, most of these people were women so there was an added level of security. Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Well, it was mostly atxc and the Yahoo! groups mailing lists that spiraled out into Geocities sites and, eventually, LiveJournal. The amusing thing is that getting in on the ground floor of social media and the Internet has helped me get jobs!  When I look at a new piece of software, I think, ‘this is hella easier than uploading to Geocities.’  We had to walk uphill both ways, in the snow, on dial-up, fighting off dinosaurs with our AOL CDs while writing HTML code. What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

The past four years in politics have basically been the ugliest online kerfuffle the world has ever seen. I survived the Shipper Wars of ’96 and I thought those were brutal, but that was NOTHING. The only way to win an argument online is to not have the argument at all. Arguing with a troll is like mudwrestling a pig: You both get filthy and only the pig is happy.

Also, READ THE FUCKING TERMS OF SERVICE.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I had the most terrible straight-girl crush on Scully. I wanted to be her best friend, I wanted to BE her.  I wanted to order Chinese food and paint each other’s nails and talk about bones.  Scully and Princess Leia and I could all just hang out poolside with hot and cold running waiters and poolboys, drink margaritas, and bitch about how unfair it all was – if the stupid men would just get OUT OF THE WAY AND LET US DO OUR JOBS, the world would be so much better. What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

This question is really about Iolokus, isn’t it?  You can’t fool me. [Lilydale note: I can neither confirm nor deny the motivation for this question, but I cannot complain about the answer.]

Simply put, I was enraged. The moment it was revealed that Scully’s ova had been used in experimentation, I lost my feminist mind. It was the most obscene defilement imaginable.  Scully wasn’t nearly as angry as I was.  What I thought needed to happen was for Scully to become a fiery force of vengeance against the MEN who had done this to her.  Clearly, I was not going to get that level of satisfaction from the show, as I was imagining Kali-like carnage on a global scale. I emailed RivkaT (whom I did not know well at that point) with a proposition that we work together. Strangely enough, we didn’t meet face to face until we were well into the project, but we did talk on the phone quite a bit. The rules were simple – everyone had to be punished in truly horrific ways, and at some point, we had to see if we could write a car chase (only because that seemed impossible).  Then it basically turned into a very twisted game of chicken to see who could be the most outrageous in terms of killing people off or writing really horrific things that fit within the structure of the narrative.  I did, in the end, write the car chase, but RivkaT one-upped me by throwing in a helicopter (a FOX News helicopter, at that).  

Really, RivkaT?  A helicopter? What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? I am terribly proud of what I wrote, pleased that it brought pain and pleasure in equal amount to people, and, again, thrilled by the people I became friends with. I admit that I stopped watching the show when Scully announced her pregnancy.  I could only see a long jump over a shark tank for the rest of the series. I haven’t watched the new episodes, either.  It is complete in my mind and doesn’t need to be continued.  I wouldn’t say no to having a reunion with some of my fic friends, although we’re still chatting online like everyone does.   Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Rivka and I wrote in the Buffy fandom for a few years, but then we moved on to real adult jobs that left absolutely no time for me to write. I’m in education, and I regularly sweat blood for fear that someone is going to find my old fic. The Buffy people were fun; there was a certain *shininess* to them that I really enjoyed. The X-men authors were just batshit and delightful, and some amazing stuff came out of Marvel fandom, particularly in the Thor/Loki and Steve/Bucky subgenres. I’ve learned to appreciate a good coffee shop AU and one famous Erik/Charles fic where all the main characters are crabs. Seriously, crabs—it’s hysterical. [Lilydale note: Other Crabs Cannot Be Trusted by groovyphilia currently has almost 2,500 kudos at AO3.]

Every few years, I’ll have a student try to explain to me what fandom is and I just smirk. Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? No. Not really. Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom? I fell into an X-Men hole a few years back and had a great old time wallowing in the Cherik muck, and there was a flirtation with BBC Sherlock as well. Strangely enough, I became interested in A/B/O fics only because of what they were saying about the role of women in our society. The limitations on the male omegas seem absurd and then you realize those are the same limitations put on women all. the. time.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

RivkaT very nicely formatted everything and put it up on AO3. What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I will always be stupidly proud of how shocked and horrified people were by Iolokus. The truth of the matter is that Iolokus has Greek drama at its core. Scully is Medea, and the entire story is lousy with “blood on the threshing floor” and Dionysian rites. The everyday is subverted into horror, and wives and daughters will tear men limb from limb like the Maenads. Since I was ultimately disappointed with what Chris Carter did with the entire show, that approach seemed appropriate.

At a certain level, all fic is corrective fic.  Like critic Anne Jamison said, “Irritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.”  And because fic has fallen so much into women’s sphere, a pure form of correction is not just the death of the author but the MURDER, a new creation springing up from the spilled blood like Cadmus sowing dragon’s teeth.

Okay, that’s a bit much. Maybe I should just take myself back to the isle of Goth Amazons or something. Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I had to write a self-evaluation and a reflection on pedagogy today. If that’s not fiction, I don’t know what the fuck is.

All my creativity is caught up in trying to pretend to be a normal middle-aged white woman so no one knows I am really a lizard.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Keep writing, keep reading, keep fighting the commercialization of narratives. As things grow more and more commodified, all our dreams and desires reduced to tchotchkes made in China, it’s a revolutionary act to separate your work from the marketplace. Be bold, take chances, turn the trope on its ear and kick it in the ass. Take everything the creators have done to make a work palatable to the unwashed masses and set it on fire.

Be subversive.

Be mean.

Have a great fucking time.

(Posted by Lilydale on March 2, 2021)

[kanohivolitakk]

Since its 3Hs anniversary some really cool things I like about the game that aren’t talked about enough because the fandom is too busy arguing who is right and who is wrong

The worldbuilding just. 3H has honestly one of my favorite fictional settings. Its just both expansive but also genuinely interesting. I have spent HOURS thinking about the world and made so many ocs its not even funny. I love thinking about the setting of the game so much.

I LOVE the puzzle like way the game explains its world and story. Like I know some people don’t like it because it makes the game a bit too convoluted but personally? I LOVE 3Hs way of not telling everything but rather giving hints and clues the player has to piece themselves. It makes the games world feel more interactive and feels so satisfying. Then again I enjoy that kind of approach to worldbuilding

In general I love 3hs fragmented story and the way how the story is placed in many different fragments. It is geniunely rewarding to replay the game from another storypath and notice the foreshadowing Would’ve the story been probably better had it been just one storypath? Honestly yes. But 3h is ambitious and one of the ways it is is with its fragmented story structure.

The structure of White Clouds is criminally underrated honestly and gets way more hate than it deserves. I love how the first few chapters set up the world of Fodlan and show injustices/conflicts of the world with chapters like the chapter where you face off Lonato for instance. Then the next few chapters are spend in deepening the mysteries such as the conspiracy against the church and the mystery regarding TWSITD. Then Jeralt dies and the last few chapters are spent as “beginning of the End” so to speak, as things clears to the intense climax.

On related note I LOVE how the game handles perspective and how the lords are the respective ways we view the story. I know so many people say “WHite Clouds is same on all paths” but I do feel that’s kinda the point. The story is the same but there are differences that come from the way each of the lords is strongly characterized and has different values, worldviews. The subtle changes on what are focused on in each route also foreshadow what will be focused on each route, which I think is super cool.

Even beyond the lords and routes the game does explore the idea of perspective well. I do think 3h has this very “everyone is the hero of their own story” type of approach to perspective and it shows it well. Each character believes they’re in the right and you can get this view that they view themselves as right. Even Agarthans who are the designated villains have this sense they think they’re in right and that the Nabateans were evil.

The way how games routes being divided into having a different focus is very cool. I love how AM is a smaller scale personal tragedy, how CF is a battle of ideals and how VW explores the world and reveals deeper mysteries. I also love how all of these are related to the lords ideals and worldviews: Dimitri is the most conflicted of the lords so he gets the most characterfocused story focused on . Edelgard is the most ideologically driven so her path focuses on her ideals and battle of wills against Rhea. Claude is the one who is the most freespirited and wants to know the truth so his route focuses on revealing the mysteries.

Also the way the houses characters reflect their respective routes storyline and central themes: Black Eagles are nobles that have conflicting relationships with nobility reflecting Edelgards goal, Blue Lions are all united with the trauma of Tragedy of Duscur, and Golden Deer are a house of misfits who give this “ragtag group who will save the universe with POWER OF FRIENDSHIP and this cool gun I found” vibes which fit the route PERFECTLY

I LOVE how the game plays with and subverts a lot of Fire Emblem tropes. While it does play some tropes straight (dad death and evil cult manipulating behind the scenes) it does do a lot to break from series conventions and playing with ideas to make a more ambitious story. The way it either subverts expectations (The evil emperor being female well intended extremist, Rhea being the Gharnef/Medeus instead of the Nyna archetype she’s presented as), twists familiar tropes to their natural extreme (Dimitris arc is basically the natural extreme end of stereotypical FE lord) and other similar things make the game feeling so planned out, like the writers understood FE stories and wanted to make something that challenges FE while still feeling like it.

The way how every major player acts as foil/pararell to another player is so GOOD. Every faction leader can be compared to the other somehow and that just makes the game SOOOO fun to analyze, trying to find all the similarities and differences and pararells is so rewarding.

A more specific example on this is how i love how the game plays with the idea of holy/sacred weapons. While normally these weapons are artifacts from goddess that defeat dragons, here the holy weapons are bones made from dragons and just???? HOW METAL IS THAT????????? It’s just such a neat way to subvert the idea of sacred weapons. Rather than being blessed creations of the goddess, they are weapons of destruction made by the villains.

I ADORE THE GAMES science fiction elements. I know people say they feel out of place but personally, they make the game memorable for me. I still remember the first time I saw that scene with nukes. I especially love the heavy implication that Sothis isn’t a goddess but rather a powerful alien. It makes her character much more interesting

I know a lot of people don’t like Agarthans but can I just say their backstory being “forced to hide after their land got conquered and desiring it back” making them a dark mirror not just 3h lords/Rhea but FE lords as whole is SO FUCKING METAL. This is what I mean with 3H writers knowing their tropes like back of their hand.

I love how in Part 1 sometimes you’d talk to two characters in Monastery at once instead of just one. It’s something I miss in part 2 honestly.

I love the small sidequests such as the fishing tourney and White Heron cup and wish Part 1 had more of them, it would’ve made the school part feel more alive.

I LOVE how some missions (esp paralogues) have subgoals that you can clear to get better rewards. I wish the game had been more clear with them or even made them main goals of maps sometimes.

I LOVE THE WAY Paralogues act as small gaiden stories that show more of the games world and characters. Its a neat way to let the sidecharacters shine and reveal some neat secrets of the games world and story.

The gameplay loop is honetly fun and satisfying. It is rewarding and while it gets tiring towards the end overall its a good gameplay loop.

I ADORE the aesthetic of Shambhala. Its just so sleek and sinister. The cyrillic letters spelling different words is so cool. Shambhala is my favorite map in the game and the aesthetic is a big reason why.

The games soundtrack is so good!!!!!!!!!!  But not only that I LOVE the way its electro elements subtly hint of Agarthans being in control behind the scenes. This is especially cool in Road to Dominion where the electro parts are barely noticeable yet present. but other tracks have subtle electro vibes as well.  The other way the games music tells the story (such as use of leitmotifs or how the monastery music changes once Jeralt dies) is great as well.

I love how 3h can be read as an allegory for reformation era and reneissance. Its such an interesting way to read the games events and compare it to a real historical periods there’s quite a bit of f

In general I ADORE the cultural references of the game. There’s surprisingly lot of way the games world is based on real life and the details are just *chefs kiss*

THE GAME IS DENSE WITH THEMATIC IDEAS. Besides the perspective the game tackles ideas of how trauma can affect a persons psyche and worldview  (as well how a persons trauma affects the way they interact with the world which in turn can affect the world as well), grief, societal values, historical revisiniosm and so much more. The game tackles SO MANY topics in an interesting manner, it is thematically just as dense as it is storywise as well.

I also love how the games thematic parts work in harmony with the story rather than one overshadowing with the other. Its super refreshing honestly where a games themes and story are both rich and I don’t have to pick one over the other.

Lastly I ADORE the games central message (or at least what I see as the central message anyway): The world’s fucked up and most people want to fix it, but what they deem fixing differs and because of that they go into conflict or outright war rather than trying to find a common ground. Everyone wants a better world but no one can agree what a better world truly means  so they fight over it. It was a theme that not only resonates with my personal values but also hit me REALLY hard when I first played it as it’s a theme that I found incredibly relevant and reflective of our own world during the time I played the game for the first time.

So yeah. I made this post since there’s SO MUCH neat things about the game, its gameplay and story that sadly get swept under the rug in favor of either arguing  which lord was right/wrong or complaining how the game is an unfinished, rushed and overambitious mess. Is 3h perfect? Hell no. But it’s a game that I hold near and dear to my heart and does genuinely SO MANY THINGS RIGHT, I’m sad no one talks about the genuine strengths the game has anymore, instead just complaining.

I’m not even joking when I say that 3h should be up there as heralded as one of the best, most ambitious and complex JRPGs alongside Xenogears, the first Xenoblade game, Suikoden and Trails series as whole along other such games. Its a shame the games reputation is less like those games and more like Persona 5s where everyone focuses more on its flaws and the fans being annoying than the fact the game does geniunely A LOT right. It’s just that good, ambitious game I love so much.

[farmerlan]

Farmer Lan’s Rewatch Guide to The Untamed - Episode 1

HERE WE GO I am strapped in with my Topo Chico and ready to take on Episode 1 of The Untamed. It’s going to be wild. I have no idea what I’m doing. If you’re reading this and have a better suggestion on how I should format everything, feel free to tell me because right now this is just the diary of a madwoman.

CAUTION: Due to the chronological differences between the novel and the drama, there will be instances where I bring in references further along in the novel and/or drama to explain what is going on, so there will be spoilers if you haven’t finished the series.

[Starting scene – there’s a voiceover of people rejoicing over WWX’s death, we see a chaotic battlefield and people fighting over the Stygian Tiger Amulet (here forth abbreviated as the STA because abbreviations are my jam). WWX commits suicide by falling off a cliff, LWJ tries to stop him and then JC sends him to the depths of hell. Flash to the present when some storyteller is narrating this story, and we’re told 16 years has passed since the Nightless City incident and WWX is seemingly gone forever – although his body has never been recovered despite extensive search efforts.]

Differences from the novel:

In the novel, there is no mention of clans trying to fight over the STA during the bloodbath at Nightless City. It’s definitely true that the existence of the STA and WWX’s unchecked power led to the actions of the Nightless City, but it was a combination of multiple events that led up to the battle, and not an explicit cause and effect.

It is also explicitly stated during Chapter 1 as people recount the tale of WWX that he destroyed the STA prior to his death.

In the novel, it is stated in Chapter 1 and confirmed by WWX himself (in Chapter 43) that WWX’s death was caused by his own power rebounding upon him and he ended up being torn apart by his own undead creations. So unfortunately the epic cliff scene was entirely scripted for the drama.

13 years has passed in the novel vs. 16 years in the drama. I can’t remember if there was an exact reason why they switched up the timeline, but just know that the timeline of the novel series of events itself is also very confusing and I will probably do a post with my take on it sometime later.

[Cut to present – WWX is summoned by MXY’s sacrifice, there’s some weird mask action going on, WWX creates a ruckus at the arrival of the Gusu disciples, they set up shop with the Demon Summoning flags, tell WWX to go wait inside and then they wait for the spirits to come their way.]

Differences from the novel:

The mask does not exist in the novel. In the novel, the body that WWX is summoned into is that of MXY’s, and MXY is a different person in every way from WWX in terms of face, height, etc. So everyone who sees WWX thinks he is MXY up until he finally reveals himself. It’s obviously a stylistic choice made to reflect why no one can recognize WWX in the drama series even though they are played by the same actor, because otherwise I can see how it can get confusing for viewers.

WWX is shown to be playing the WangXian melody in the room but this does not happen in the novel, although it does lead to a pretty epic snark from my favorite boy LJY about how awful WWX’s playing is (which IS in the novel, but happens later in the story instead). WWX does NOT use a flute at all until the Da Fan Shan arc in the novel. Also Jingyi, never stop being you.

It is not explicitly mentioned that MXY went to Lan Ling Jin sect in the novel at this current point, only that he was accepted as a disciple by a sect before being kicked out. We find this out later.

Other than that, the scenes with MXY closely follows the novel up until the Demonic Left Arm (DLA) to show up.

[WWX is hauled in to confess his crimes by Matriarch Mo, things go to shit in about 3 seconds and the disciples realize they need to call for backup STAT, the flare for LWJ is sent. WWX realizes this needs to end fast in order to avoid meeting LWJ and exposing himself. A-Tong becomes possessed by the DLA, dies, and then the DLA possesses Matriarch Mo. Attempts to restrain her fail and WWX revives the other now-undead Mos to fight her.]

Differences from the novel:

The sassy verbal takedown of Matriarch Mo by WWX is indeed in the novel and just as great.

The drama identifies the black marks on the victims’ necks as being caused by the STA. There is no such scene in the novel. Basically, there is no mention of the STA being the cause of ANY of this, because in the novel, it’s not.

In the novel, the disciples send flares for back up but are uncertain how quickly back up will arrive, and they definitely did not specifically call for LWJ. However, WWX realizes he needs to intervene to end this quickly because the spirit is too powerful for the disciples to deal with, and he can’t leave the Mo household until the revenge curse put upon him by MXY is lifted (i.e. until everyone MXY wants dead is dead).

A funny scene that gets left out of the drama is: Matriarch Mo leaps to attack LSZ, who can’t dodge in time. Instead, WWX literally KICKS LJY into her path because he knows that the Gusu robes are imbued with magical protective spells, so he basically used LJY as a human talisman as a last resort. LJY did not find this funny, and WWX plays the “I didn’t do anything, I have no idea what I just did and I can’t be held culpable because I’m batshit crazy” card. Ah, my boys.

 [LWJ appears just as Matriarch Mo appears to have gotten the upper hand, and subdues her with the POWER OF MUSIC dundun (also sensually massaging the guqin strings helloooo). WWX is hiding but HE IS HERE for all of his boo’s actions. LWJ clarifies that the DLA is a spiritual sword ghost with traces of the STA, everyone gasps because didn’t WWX die? OR DID HE NOT? Time will tell, my friends. Anyway, with the DLA subdued for now, LWJ hears the footsteps of WWX running away and chases after him but sees nobody. He thinks….”WEIYING IS IT REALLY YOU??” WWX A MYSERIOUS PERSON (to be revealed...but OK it’s NHS I told you there would be spoilers) gives money to the storyteller, and then we see WWX with Little Apple and he has one more wound left on his arm, indicating there’s someone else he needs to kill on behalf of MXY.]

Differences from the novel:

In the novel, WWX leaves the moment he hears LWJ’s guqin and does not stay to spectate.

See above re: no mention of what caused this, and certainly no discussion of the STA.

There’s no mention of LWJ suspecting that it is WWX in MXY’s body, or even suspecting that he has returned at all.

In the novel, the four wounds left as a physical reminder of the body count for the revenge curse is for the three members of the Mo family and for A-Tong. Therefore, WWX leaves the Mo family effectively free of his debt to MXY, but in the drama, he is shown to still have one remaining person left to kill…dun dun dun.

Storyteller man is not around in the novel – consider him a convenient voiceover tool for the drama ha. Thanks to the @redisthecolouroffate​ for the catch, I missed this but this is also the episode where NHS first shows up to reward the man for his storytelling, which is a nice bit of foreshadowing done by the show which is not in the novel at all.

Overall Thoughts

The drama does a really good job of setting the tone from the beginning. There’s not too much deviation here compared to the first five chapters of the novel (which covers this whole Ep 1 arc) since the majority of it was to set up the premise for the show and introduce our main characters.

The main difference here is we can see the drama is already setting itself up for the STA to play a much bigger role than in the novel. In the novel, our protagonists really have no idea what is behind the DLA at this point, and they certainly don’t immediately assert that it is a ‘sword ghost’ that has been tainted by the STA. In the novel, the only explanation for the DLA at present is in Chapter 5, when WWX notes that the spirit is more powerful than most, given that this spirit has already claimed three lives in the span of a few hours. WWX also deduced that this was the arm of a person who died by dismemberment, and to summarize the novel, the ghost arm is effectively trying to find the rest of its body. Until then, it moves between ‘live hosts’ like a parasite.

Also – WWX is also noted to be wearing badly applied make up in the novel but not in the drama. It is clarified in Chapter 1 that MXY was homosexual and was kicked out of his cultivation sect as he harassed a fellow male disciple and is now basically a gay lunatic, which is unfortunately not a great look in ye olden days.

Lastly, cute tidbit in the novel in Chapter 3 that didn’t make its way into the drama – WWX secretly marveled at LSZ’s knowledge and manners, and wondered “Who in that godforsaken, old-fashioned place (referring to the Cloud Recesses) could have brought him up/taught him so well?” OH YOU’LL FIND OUT WHO HA.

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Ian Martin’s Strange Paradise, Part I: The Top 5 Best Things

SPOILERS FOR LATE MALJARDIN AND BOTH DESMOND HALL ARCS

Hello and welcome again to my Garden of Evil, where this week I’m doing something a little different. Episode 44 having marked the departure of co-creator and original headwriter Ian Martin, we have officially reached the end of an era of Strange Paradise history. No longer will discussions and speculation on Martin’s authorial intent be relevant to the happenings on this show (although I will continue to give my thoughts on the Lost Episode summaries), now that Bob Costello is running the show with a different authorial intent.

Ian Martin’s episodes contrast with the second half of Maljardin in many ways. The pace is slower, the structure and characterizations more like those of a standard soap, and the tone at times borders on comedy. He also appears to have put more thought into the characters’ backstories than any of the other writers, much of which he never got the chance to show on screen. Moreover, of all the show’s writers, he seems to have put the most of his own heart and soul into it, if the death of his first wife six years earlier and his reuse of elements from the series in his later works are any indication.

That brings me to my plans for this week in my Garden of Evil. Before moving on to review Episode 45, I will post my final thoughts on his episodes, first listing what I consider the top five best things about his period headwriting the show. Next, I will make another of the top five worst things about the first 8.8 weeks of Maljardin (because no creative work is perfect). So without further ado, here are (in my not-so-humble opinion) the top five best things about Ian Martin’s Strange Paradise:

5. Clever, memorable dialogue and (sometimes) clever wordplay 

I say “sometimes,” because (as we all know) Jacques loves his puns and Devil jokes, which tend to be as cornball as they come. The (intentional) humor in Ian Martin’s dialogue tends to be hit or miss, but when it hits, it hits harder than the chandelier hit the séance table. Even when the jokes miss, it’s clear that he tried hard to make the show both funny and scary, and some of the worse ones still amuse me in a dad-joke sort of way.

Some jokes from SP that I find genuinely funny:

Jacques: “‘Prisoners’ is such a harsh word, Alison. Now, actually, I prefer the [terminology] ‘detained guests.’“ (Episode 14)

Alison: “I find you and everything you’ve done distasteful and revolting." Jacques: "Methinks the lady doth detest too much." (same)

"I wish my mother was on canvas instead of always on my back.” (Holly, Episode 18)

Dan: "Knowing how much you loved Erica, I can appreciate your display of courage." Jacques: "It was either that or letting myself go to the Devil!" (same)

Jacques: “Such a delightful bedside manner. Why not let her operate?” (Episode 21)

Jacques: “If your room is a prison cell and you are a prisoner, well, I invite you to your last hearty meal.” (same)

Holly: "Would you like to see my scars?" Jacques: "Well, lead us not into temptation...now, that isn't from Shakespeare, is it?" (Episode 25)

Elizabeth: “It seems to be your opportunity to entertain, Reverend. May I suggest Song of Solomon?” (Episode 40)

Also, some things that aren’t jokes per se, but still clever wordplay:

Matt’s name, a reference to the Tarot card The Fool, or Le Mat in French.

Jacques: "Well, Dan, are you going to join me in some kippers this morning, or haven't you finished fishing for the day?" Dan: "Just lowering the line, and I'm afraid you're going to get hooked." (Episode 26)

The whole kippers thing from the same episode.

The scene transition lines.

Two things that Curt pointed out to me a while back: the recurring “little bird” motif and the fact that Jacques, who was “shackled to the Temple” for three centuries was also shackled through the temples with the silver pin. (Thanks!)

Of the later writers, Cornelius Crane (who will write the last two weeks of Maljardin and most of Desmond Hall Arc I) will be the only other to consistently use humor in his SP scripts. His will be a different style of humor, lighter on wordplay and heavier on wit, satire, and snark between characters, in many ways reminiscent of my favorite Dark Shadows writer Violet Welles. While the style of humor in Crane’s episodes has generally aged better, I can’t deny the cleverness and charm in the lines quoted above.

4. A more complex story than later arcs

Compared to all other arcs of the show, early Maljardin has, by far, the most subplots. You have (1) the main plot that revolves around Jean Paul’s attempts to preserve and resurrect Erica, which leads to his desperate attempts to protect the cryonics capsule, Jacques’ freedom and repeated possessions, and Raxl and Quito’s search for the conjure doll and silver pin. Directly connected to this are (2) Jacques’ murder of Dr. Menkin, (3) Alison and Dan’s search for the true cause of Erica’s death and for Dr. Menkin’s missing notes, and (4) the love triangle/square between Dan, Alison, and Jean Paul/Jacques. Then you have the four interconnected plots directly involving Holly, including (5) her romantic pursuit by Matt, Tim, Jacques, and Quito; (6) her conflicts with Elizabeth including direct competition over Jean Paul/Jacques; (7) her torment by Erica’s spirit; and (8) Tim’s subplot about the damned Holly portrait. Then there are (9) the saga of the missing cyanide and (10) the guests’ resistance to Jean Paul’s imprisonment of them on the island. In addition to these, we have (11) the history of Jacques, which may have included innumerable subplots of its own had Ian Martin been allowed to explore it thoroughly. We know that Jacques’ pursuit of Alison and Elizabeth would have connected to this, given their previous incarnations as Rahua and Tarasca, and that Martin originally planned for Tarasca to have her own storyline. If we include the aborted arc about Elizabeth’s possession by Tarasca, that would have made a whopping twelve subplots(!), unless I’m forgetting about something.

For comparison, here are the major subplots from Desmond Hall, during the period when Cornelius Crane did most of the writing: (1) Jean Paul’s possession by the Mark of Death; (2) the coven’s schemes to undermine the Desmond family, which led to the disappearance of Philip Desmond; (3) the Evil Serpent plotline; (4) the Hamlet subplot involving Cort’s conflicts with his mother and dear stepfather; (5) the love triangle of Cort, Holly, and Philip’s ghost; (6) the second love triangle of Ada, Laslo, and Irene; (7) all of Jean Paul’s romantic entanglements; and (8) the attempted possession of his fiancée Helena by Erica. That’s still a lot of intersecting plots, but not quite as many as in early Maljardin.

I know I’ve complained in the past about the recap that makes up about half the dialogue in early Maljardin, but the sheer number of plots may have required it to ensure that returning viewers remembered everything and new viewers weren’t completely lost. I don’t have to like the constant recap, but I must admit that it was probably necessary even for the fans who managed to catch every episode during its original run.

3. Stronger characterizations than under the writers of late Maljardin

Like a traditional soap opera, the first half of the Maljardin arc is character-driven. Most important plot points occur on Mondays and Fridays, leaving the mid-week episodes for (mostly) minor plot points, subplots, and character development. We see Alison’s relationship with Jean Paul evolve from friendly in-laws to potential lovers, only for her to tire of his constant mood changes and withdraw from him. We see Reverend Matt Dawson’s crisis of faith, from his stalking Holly out of an allegedly spiritual love to his questioning his disbelief in demons while trapped on Maljardin. We see Dan lose all respect for Jean Paul as he becomes convinced that his employer murdered Erica and Dr. Menkin. We also see Jean Paul grow increasingly volatile even when Jacques isn’t possessing him, making his prisoners try harder to escape and creating a vicious cycle of repression and paranoia on the island.

After Robert Costello becomes producer, the arc shifts to a more plot-driven narrative. In a span of just four weeks, Erica will be resurrected and proceed to murder most of the characters. Character development will lose its importance in late Maljardin, and the characters of Elizabeth and Holly (and later Jean Paul) will become almost unrecognizable. Although Cornelius Crane was a competent writer who gave strong characterizations to the characters he created, he makes it clear that he didn’t care much for Martin’s creations through how quickly he kills off most of them and alters the personalities of two of the ones left.

2. Actual research

This one is most noticeable in two areas: the scientific subjects discussed and the way that Martin uses the Tarot. Before writing for SP, he worked on The Doctors and The Nurses, both early medical dramas with soap opera elements. Little survives from either The Nurses or the 1960s era of The Doctors[1], but one can imagine that he got into the habit of researching medical topics then--perhaps not including subjects as far-out as cryonics, but maybe some of the others discussed on SP like cellular reconstruction, organ transplants, and eclampsia. Here on SP, he’s referenced specific scientific studies, including Miroslava Pavlović’s study of brain transplants in quail embryos, Kenneth B. Wolfe’s “Effects of Hypothermia on Cerebral Damage Resulting from Cardiac Arrest,” and--most fascinating of all--W. Grey Walter’s robotics article “An Imitation of Life,” whose potential significance to Erica’s backstory I discussed in the final part of my Shadow Over Seventh Heaven review series.

His penchant for research becomes even more obvious when we explore his use of the Tarot and compare it to the way the cards were used on the show’s inspiration Dark Shadows. Despite also having done research on various occult matters--the most obscure being the use of I Ching wands for time travel[2]--DS’s writers were notably lazy in their use of Tarot symbolism, sticking mostly to the Major Arcana, often interpreting their names literally, and using the Tower of Destruction so often that one would think that copies of the Tower comprised half the deck. Not so on SP. Although he did have tarot reader Vangie Abbott use Death literally in Episode 7, and he does portray the Nine of Swords as “the card of death” when it typically means nightmares, suffering because of loss, and inner torment, his use of the Tarot typically shows careful research into the meanings of mostly cards from the Minor Arcana (the suits of wands, cups, swords, and pentacles). He uses it both as a means of giving character profiles and for foreshadowing, although the cards often foreshadow planned events that never took place because of script rewrites.

He did, however, take some artistic liberties with other subjects that he must have researched while writing the serial. I mean to write a detailed analysis someday comparing and contrasting the show’s portrayal of vodou with the reality, but I’m not satisfied with the scanty amount of research that I’ve done so far. I have already written about the Great Serpent and how Raxl appears to syncretize the loa Damballah with the Aztec feathered serpent Quetzalcoatl, but there are other related subjects I want to discuss someday in other posts. The short version: the “voodoo” portrayed on the show is a mixture of elements of genuine Afro-Caribbean religions (worship of a Serpent God, belief in zombies, use of drums in rituals, the titles “Conjure Man” and “Conjure Woman”) and traditional Mesoamerican religious practices (Quetzalcoatl, Aztec human sacrifice, Raxl’s mention of curanderos). The evidence suggests that he picked and chose elements from these traditions for Maljardin’s “Conjure Faith” in a way reminiscent of the real-life phenomenon of religious syncretism. While somewhat problematic, the obscurity of some of the things he picked and chose shows that he must have conducted some research even on these subjects.

1. The best Jacques

Jean Paul Desmond may be the protagonist, but, in the first seven weeks of the show, it’s his devilish ancestor Jacques who truly steals the show. From his evil laugh to his snarky commentary on the happenings on Maljardin to the hilarious and adorable expressions he makes as he plays with his detained guests, there’s no denying that Jacques is the star of Martin’s SP. When he’s absent, the whole show suffers from a lack of his mischief, not to mention that smile that stirs up desires in me that can never be righteously fulfilled. If there’s a Devil, I bet he resembles THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES in looks, voice, and demeanor--the better to seduce you with (and by you, I mean me). Horns and a pointy tail, after all, don’t tempt half as well as a beautiful black cape and Bissits Face™.

The Jacques of late Maljardin will be a far flatter character, more outwardly evil but less charming and consequently less entertaining. In Desmond Hall, his role will be reduced significantly and he will have very little dialogue, mostly just the same clip of his laughter repeated. He will have a few fun scenes in the second Desmond Hall arc, but the post-Martin Jacques is no devil, just an ordinary man with a slightly different personality, led over to the dark side. This is understandable--the thought of the supernatural embodiment of evil remaining imprisoned for three centuries is quite far-fetched, and Desmond Hall Arc II writer Harding Lemay wasn’t fond of all-evil characters[3]--but I still find the original Jacquet the most fun by far.

That concludes this post on my favorite things about Ian Martin’s Strange Paradise. Stay tuned for my list of some things about his writing that needed improvement.

{ Next: The Top 5 Worst Things -> }

Notes

[1] The Thousand Oaks Library in Thousand Oaks, California has ten of Martin’s scripts from The Doctors from shortly after the series switched from its original experimental anthology format to a traditional continuing soap.

[2] The portrayal of the I Ching as a means of time travel on Dark Shadows almost certainly came from William Seabrook’s book Witchcraft: Its Power in the World Today, where he describes the 49th ko hexagram’s use in a form of past-life regression in New York magick circles in the early 20th century. See Seabrook, “Werewolf in Washington Square,” Witchcraft (New York: Ishi Press, 2015), pp. 164-175.

[3] Harding Lemay, Eight Years in Another World, chap. 3, Kindle edition. In this chapter, Lemay discusses his conflicts with Irna Phillips, the creator of Another World, over how to portray soap opera characters. According to him, Phillips believed that characters should be depicted as either “Saints” or “Sinners,” the only permitted nuance being that female Sinners had to love their children if they had any. Lemay disagreed with such black-and-white characterizations, finding them unrealistic, and made the serial’s characters more morally gray.

[madiladi7]

Happy Halloween, Mao Mao!

Hello! This is for a Halloween writing exchange run by @maomaosmother​ ! You should check them out if you’re a fan of the show Mao Mao!

This story was written for @Fireinthered

I also want to tag @shapeshiftinterest on an unrelated note.

Request details: King Snugglemane hosting a haunted house for the sweeties and Mao Mao not believing anything there would be scary but being proved wrong. (The sky pirates should definitely be invited, they don’t even have to be main or relevant characters)

Please enjoy! I hope you like it!

10/24/19

Word count: 2554

The giant, foreboding house looms over the surrounding trees, which pale in comparison despite dwarfing the shack in height. The great trees of the forest outside the town of Pureheart are possibly generations old, yet the structure nestled beside them seems to have surpassed them in age. The wooden body of what once was a dwelling place are rotted and blackened, long abandoned by termites and the like. The old bones of the house creak and moan with every slight breeze that rushes past. The house even sounds like it’s haunted. The window frames don’t even have a trace of glass left in them, not even a shard protruding from the wood. A rotting, ancient looking door, or what’s left of it, stands between the forest and whatever lies in wait inside; it almost looks to be disintegrating, falling apart with every moment that passes. The roof is slanted, filthy and soggy, almost caving into itself with every sagging shingle, several of which are simply missing, gone with time. The sad remnants of a chimney poke out through what remains of the roof, missing most of its stones.

It’s almost hard to imagine that something like this resides so close to Pureheart, a place bustling with life and smiling faces; it’s even harder to imagine how this place is still standing, albeit barely.

And this is where the king has made his haunted house?

“Admit it, dude, this is insanely cool.”

Badgerclops nods in approval, smiling down at Mao Mao, who is clearly not as enthused about all this as he is. Mao Mao seems to be a little more uptight than usual tonight. Maybe because it’s late, or maybe because he’s secretly impressed. Whatever the reason may be, he keeps his eyes forward, glowering at the king’s handiwork.

“-Hah! You think this is scary? Pathetic. Something as cheesy as this could never scare a brave hero, such as myself. King Snugglemane should have spent less time galavanting around and more time putting together something really scary. Isn’t that right, Adorabat?”

...Adorabat doesn’t answer.

“Adorabat…?”

Badgerclops and Mao Mao turn around to find Adorabat trembling with… excitement? Her eyes are like stars as she gapes at the decrepit shack. Mao Mao can tell with just a glance that this isn’t going to be a simple patrol after all.

“This… Looks… SO COOL!”

“I know, right? I literally just said that.”

“Now, hold on, Adorabat-”

“Can we go in?! Can we, can we? I wanna see the zombies and ghosts and chainsaws and blood and dentists and-”

Adorabat’s rapid, excitement filled begging are cut short by Mao Mao, hushing her in an attempt to keep the trio on track that night.

“Adorabat, no. We’re on duty, remember? The king just had to build his haunted house in the middle of the forest, which is home to monsters, like a ridiculous amount of monsters. Stay focused.”

Adorabat frowns, most of her excitement wavering with every word that Mao Mao speaks. She wants to see the haunted house, she just can’t help it. Her little heart is set on enjoying herself tonight.

“Come on, Mao, it’s Halloween, let her have some fun. I can’t think of a better place for a five year old than a disgusting house in the middle of the woods. Look at her, she wants it so bad.”

At this point, Adorabat breaks out her secret weapon, which also happens to be Mao Mao’s greatest weakness: The puppy-eyes. Her giant eyes sparkle with faint tears in the moonlight. Badgerclops and Mao Mao both feel like they’ve been punched in the gut with cuteness. It’s super effective. Mao Mao has lost the will to resist her any more.

Mao Mao pinches the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes tight as he prepares to make a decision he knows he’ll regret. After a long, exasperated sigh, he finally caves. The battle has been won.

“...Fine, fine. You can go through the king’s haunted house.”

Adorabat almost explodes with happiness as all of her previously lost excitement returns to her. She takes flight, squealing her thanks to Mao Mao and Badgerclops as her little wings carry her to the entrance. She quickly disappears into the darkness.

Badgerclops’ triumphant smile wavers as he glances at Mao Mao, noticing the worry written all over his face. Mao Mao is pretty good at hiding his worry or fear, but Badgerclops is even better at seeing through his facade. To Badgerclops, Mao Mao is like an open book. Besides, he isn’t as good at looking brave as he thinks he is.

“...I wouldn’t worry about it, man. All the monsters sleep at night anyways.”

“We still have to be vigilant, Badgerclops. We go to sleep at night too, and look at us now, still awake and wandering through the forest at an ungodly hour... I don’t want Adorabat to be scared either. Plus it’s way past her bedtime.”

“That’s what you’re worried about? Mao, she’s tough. Adorabat will probably scare whatever’s in that gross shack. She scares me sometimes.”

Mao Mao chuckles slightly, silently relenting to Badgerclops’ attempts to put him at ease. Maybe this whole ordeal won’t be so bad after all. Despite the fact that Mao Mao would rather be asleep right now, he’s glad that Adorabat is enjoying herself.

“Ah, Sheriff, there you are! What do you think of my beautiful creation? It’s a great success with the Sweetypies! I’m assuming they all love it by all the screaming and crying.”

King Snugglemane giddily approaches Mao Mao and Badgerclops, his luxurious fur blowing gently in the cold October breeze. His cape billows behind him with every step towards the duo. If nothing else, the king certainly knows how to make an entrance (and a haunted house).

“It certainly is something, my liege,” Mao Mao cheesily bows towards the king as he greets him.

“Adorabat went inside a little while ago. I’m sure she’s loving it.”

“Yes, that little one would like something like this, wouldn’t she? Strange one. Anyhow, I’m glad she’s enjoying herself, as she should. I’m glad I happened upon this wretched little place, it’s made the perfect haunted house.”

Mao Mao’s focus on the conversation is broken slightly as Ol’ Blue, accompanied by Penny and Benny, happily walk by. A glimpse of their conversation can be heard from where the three are standing. “I’m so impressed!” Blue merrily states, cueing Penny and Benny to nod vigorously in agreement, still holding hands. Mao Mao’s mood sours considerably after hearing that, following Blue with his piercing eyes until his focus is brought back by Badgerclops’ voice.

“It must have taken sooooooo much work to make your haunted house look this nasty, I could never. Manual labor is the spookiest thing I can think of.”

Badgerclops’ trademark laughter is somewhat interrupted by Snugglemane’s disgust filled sputtering, confusing the two as the king waves his hands dramatically back and forth at them.

“Ew, no. Good heavens, I think not. You two honestly think that I could make something that horrid? Honestly, what do you take me for? I found the house in this condition, of course. How absurd of you.”

Now this intrigues Mao Mao, but mostly concerns him. That can’t possibly be right. He stares in disbelief at the king as a sickening feeling of dread rises in his stomach.

“Wait, you found this place, just like this? That doesn’t make any sense. What is this place? Did somebody live here?”

“Goodness, I don’t know! I was doing my bi-weekly frollicking through the deep dark woods when I stumbled upon this place. It was disgusting and absolutely pitiable, so naturally, it reminded me of you peasants. You folk enjoy romping around in garbage, yes? Anyway, I have no idea where it came from or who it belonged to, though I suppose now it’s mine.”

With a haughty shrug, the king utters a quick goodbye and obliviously goes on his merry way, leaving Mao Mao and Badgerclops in his royal wake. Could Snugglemane really be that stupid? He stumbles on a horrible, broken, abandoned house, and the first thing he does is make it into a tourist attraction, bringing all the Sweetypies to play in it.

Mao Mao can feel his eyes twitch manically, his temper rising with every moment that passes. He was fine with staying out this late at night to ensure everyone’s safety, but that was under the assumption that the king’s haunted house wasn’t a rickety, sagging death trap. It could collapse at any moment!

Mao Mao’s face is now as red as his cape, and his gloved paws are clenched tightly into fists. Badgerclops soon takes notice, a fair amount of worry on his face as well. The two of them seem to be kicked into high gear as a certain realization dawns on both of them at once:

Adorabat is still in that disgusting house.

A loud, droning creak erupts from the building, instantly grabbing Mao Mao and Badgerclops’ attention. They have to get the Sweetypies out of that house.

“Badgerclops, we have to evacuate the haunted house. Those Sweetypies don’t stand a chance.”

“That’s a little intense, but you’re totally right, dude. They’re so clumsy and dumb, they might bring the house down, especially if Pinky’s in there.”

Without another word, Badgerclops’ metal arm transforms into arguably his favorite tool, the megaphone. He takes a deep breath, and then loudly shouts into the megaphone, grabbing the attention of everyone outside of the house.

“Attention! The king’s haunted house is unstable as heck, and you should definitely not go inside anymore, gosh. -Hey, I’m talking to you too, Chubbum, get outta here. It’s past your bedtime, I’m tired and I’m going home.”

The Sweetypies all look pretty disappointed, but begin to disperse and make their way back to town. Badgerclops’ arm hesitantly reverts back to normal as he turns to face Mao Mao, who’s doing a quick head count of the retreating citizens.

“There are still a couple of them inside of the house. Dang it, didn’t they hear the megaphone?!”

Mao Mao’s voice is fast and annoyed, as well as concerned, reflecting his mood incredibly well. He begins stomping towards the building in a huff and Badgerclops wordlessly follows, ducking under the broken door frame as they enter. The two of them immediately start trying to round up more people, but doing so is suddenly much harder.

Compared to the inside of the house, the forest outside is extremely well lit. Even Mao Mao’s cat eyes are having trouble adjusting to the thick darkness that surrounds them, finding it challenging to look ahead more than a couple of feet. The only source of light in the house are the beams of moonlight that shine through the various cracks and holes in the roof.

“Adorabat? It’s time to leave! Adorabat!”

Mao Mao tries calling out to Adorabat, but to no avail. Somehow their voices aren’t carrying through the house, despite being able to hear a pin drop, not to mention the fact that the house has more holes than swiss cheese. Nothing about this house is soundproof, in fact it’s a miracle the walls are still standing.

“Hey, Pinky! Get back here, the haunted house is closed!”

Pinky’s cackling laughter echoes throughout the house as Badgerclops sighs dramatically before chasing after him. A few other giggles are able to be heard along with Pinky’s. Badgerclops is almost completely out of sight as his voice rings through a side hallway leading to the voices.

“I’ll get them, dude. Just find Adorabat so we can get out of here. I’m so tired!”

Before Mao Mao can even protest, Badgerclops is gone, leaving him all along in the darkness. Thankfully, his eyes are starting to adjust, allowing him to see a dark, foreboding hallway just a few feet in front of him. Gulping down his fear, Mao Mao begins to make his way down the hall, further into the inky blackness despite his brain telling him not to. Even so, he carries on, setting aside his uncertainty for Adorabat’s sake.

Mao Mao’s arm hovers over the sword at his side without really knowing why, feeling more and more anxious with every step that he takes. His ears ring with the sound of echoing creaks and groans of the building, making him even more uneasy. His heartbeat pounds against his ribcage as his eyes scan what lies ahead, not that he can see very much of it. He wouldn’t be surprised if this hall turned out to be a dead end. Judging from the state of the rest of the house, rubble or debris could easily be blocking his path.

“Adorabat...! Come on, it isn’t safe in here!”

Mao Mao’s voice comes out sounding kind of pathetic, wavering a bit at the end of his shout, causing his face to contort into a cringe. This silly fear is so unlike him, but whether he likes it or not, an icy dread has filled his body. He doesn’t know what’s come over him, but he does his best to push his cowardice away, straightening up and holding his head up high.

His body almost has trouble moving forward, yet he continues to walk further in, arms gently sliding against the walls to guide him through. He can almost see the end of the hallway, just barely able to make out a different area. A little bit of relief floods his senses; maybe this isn’t so bad. In fact, he’s almost sure now that he’ll stumble upon Adorabat any second now. There’s absolutely nothing to fear, right?

“BOO!”

Terror.

Pure, unfiltered terror fills Mao Mao to the brim as Adorabat jumps out from god knows where, almost causing him to fall to the ground from the surprise. His fur instantly poofs out (more than you’d think was possible) and his pupils shrink into thin black slits, darting from place to place at a ridiculous speed, trying to figure out what’s going on.

Mao Mao slowly regains his composure and bearing on the situation, but not before taking out his sword out of habit and swinging it around haphazardly, screaming in a surprisingly high pitch the whole time, narrowly missing Adorabat with his wild slices. There’s almost no hallway left by the time Mao Mao is done with it, most likely about to collapse from the damage to the structure.

A couple of moments go by, void of any sound or movement whatsoever.

Adorabat doesn’t move.

Mao Mao doesn’t move.

The house even stops creaking for a couple of seconds as the two of them stare at each other.

“...Gotcha?”

“ADORABAT.”

Bonus:

The sky pirates’ mouths almost hit the forest floor when they see what’s happened to the building they’ve been squatting at. It somehow looks even worse than it did before they left for the night to go scavenging. At least it looked vaguely like a house before! Now it just looks like a heap of gross old wood on the ground, totally irredeemable and inhabitable. It only takes a couple of moments for them to all notice how much trash has been left on the ground as well. Whoever came and trashed their shelter did not care about the environment.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

[lilyfromfrogzcountry]

Saw TROS - spoilers ahead, don’t read if you don’t want to be spoiled

I need to get some things off my chest to sort out my feelings about this movie :)

It wasn’t as /bad/ as I expected. Let’s say I didn’t get bored. However, there was a lot of stuff I found weird, dumb or that didn’t make sense to me. A lot of things seemed rushed and like last minute additions, which spoiled a bit my enjoyment of this movie. So here’s a little summary of what I liked and didn’t like.

((Before reading, please be aware that i’m a hux fan and a multishipper (reylo included). If this bothers you, please avoid reading this post, since this will probably influence my perception of the movie))

⛔⛔ SPOILERS JUST BELOW - BE WARNED ⛔⛔

What I liked :

Finn finding other stormtroopers having defected (a whole battalion, even), and realizing that he’s not alone. Even if it was to be expected, Finn was always presented as an exception in the story. This shows us the First Order’s stormtrooper program isn’t as efficient in its brainwashing as they claim to be.

Hux being a spy for the Resistance. I know some Hux fans may not have liked it, but I personally found it to be an interesting development in his character. It’s not everyday that a high ranking officer, who’s been a ‘true believer’ in the cause his whole life, changes side like that. I wish it would have been explored more deeply and seriously. Too bad it felt like a last minute addition.

This idea that “some things are stronger than blood”. Rey’s ancestry doesn’t matter, doesn’t influence her destiny. Light side or Dark: what matters is who she chooses to be.

CGI young Luke and Leia flashback (I’m really a fan of this CGI way of bringing back younger versions of actors, the result is always quite realistic imo).

This cute and polite new little robot, D-0 . So sad to learn it was abused by its former master :’(

Kylo’s clothes changing when turning back to the Light. Bye bye black menacing attire and long cape, hello simple shirt and pants. Even if I loved his former look, I quite liked this one as well, it made him appear more “human”. Also, damn, I really found Kylo to be a treat in this movie, he looked so good!

Rey always making a difference between Ben and Kylo Ren : she makes it clear that what interest her is Ben, ie. the Light side of him. It is only after he turns back to the Light for good, after he becomes Ben again, that he earns her trust and love.

Rey lethaly wounding Kylo, then healing him. Because it really seems to be the thing that shook this boy’s soul and made him turn back to the Light (it’s a big part of why, at least). Also, I’m always a sucker for nice characters showing compassion towards villains.

That reylo kiss tho. I know this is a very controversial ship, but since TFA, I was personally certain something deep was going to happen between those 2. I’m glad it was a cute, sweet and hopeful kiss, right after Kylo saved Rey no less. We even get some Ben Smile™. I really wish the movie would have ended here and there, on this hopeful note.

A lot of Hux’s scenes, since I just like him a lot, and he looks both cute and funny (even if I don’t really appreciate how this character was turned into a joke after TFA). Him being unsettled by Kylo having his mask back on, and then saying fearfully how it ‘looks good’ when Kylo calls him out on it in front of everyone. Kylo waving his finger at Hux to shut him up. The whole interaction with Finn and Poe, how they were surprised he was the spy, how he helped them escape, how he asked to be shot to pretend he was taken hostage, the “I don’t care who wins, I just want Kylo Ren to lose” line, etc. Also, how strong his mind must be if he managed to hide the fact he was the spy from Kylo for so long (or did Kylo know and just ignored it?)

What I didn’t like

Rey being Palpatine’s granddaughter and all her powers coming from him. I’m disappointed, because what really interested me in this character since TFA is that she was a nobody. Star Wars had always been centered around the Skywalker family and its Exceptional Destiny™. It was nice for a change to see someone who came from nothing be the main protagonist and shake up the galaxy just because it was the right thing to do (a parallel to Finn, a simple and almost exceedingly banal stormtrooper who chose to become something more, and wasn’t pushed by some hidden destiny/heritage). Also, this whole Palaptine arc seemed like it was added at the last minute.

The whole ‘Palpatine is back and wants to make a new Empire’ shit. For me, Palpatine was really a thing of the past. That’s also what interested me in the First Order: the fact this was a regime built on the ruins of the Empire, having evolved under its shadow and memory, but wanting to become something more. It was a good way of exploring the “how the past can influence the present” thematic, and could be used as an interesting parallel to IRL authoritatian regimes reclaiming a glorious past. If Palpatine was behind everything from the beginning, nothing of this matters. Also, what was the deal with Snoke, then? Was he a mere creation of Palpatine from the beginning? Or a real being that got captured and manipulated? What was the point of this character?

Hux’s death. Like, I may be biased because he’s my favorite character, but his death was so rushed and unnecessary. Did he really need to be killed off by Pryde like that, in such a quick and callous way? With Phasma and Snoke gone, he was the only one left in the First Order to have a past history with Kylo. I think it would have been better to have them interact more, especially with the whole story of Hux being a spy. It would have created some interesting interactions. Also, he’s not anybody storywise: he’s one of the architects of the First Order’s rise to power, perfected the Stormtrooper program, participated in the creation of Starkiller Base, gave the order to destroy the Republic... He’s not some random underling. Nobody seems to react or care when he’s killed off out of the blue, which doesn’t make any sense storywise.

The whole character of Allegiant General Pryde. What was even the point of this character? Where does he come from? What did he do that Hux couldn’t have done? The only interesting thing about this character seems to be that he already served Palpatine during the Empire, but after this fact is stated, it doesn’t come up again and doesn’t really influence the story. He doesn’t do anything extraordinary, just gives random orders. Clearly a waste, imo.

The fact that the Rose/Finn thing is completely abandoned. I know a lot of people didn’t like that kiss in TLJ. I personnaly didn’t really care. But it’s weird it’s never mentioned again, and that even in the few interactions those characters have together, there’s no awkwardness, no aknowledgement that it ever happened (even just to say “we moved on”). It’s like it never even existed. What was the point of that kiss, then?

That weird love triangle thing I felt between Rey/Finn/Poe, and the hostility Poe seemed to have towards Rey for a good part of the movie. I really wonder if they didn’t try to subtly cater to Finn/Rey shippers (by making Finn seem in love with Rey) and to Finn/Poe shippers (by making Poe seem in love with Finn, and jealous towards Rey), while nothing clear is ever stated out loud. Of course, I may have misread the vibes, but that’s what their interactions made me think of.

Kylo’s death. Like, I may here again be biased because I like redemption stories, but was it really necessary to have him die right when he turns back to the Light? I was so hopeful for him, and it was all gone in an instant. Also, his death was very weird and seemed rushed. Rey kisses him, he smiles, he seems quite fine and not /at all/ on the verge of death, and then he just loses conciousness and disappears? What even was that?? (also, very sad to make that whole family die off without having known any true happiness away from Palpatine’s manipulations)

Stuff overwhelming the story: too many big revelations, too many powerful ships appearing out of the blue, too many weird stuff happening with Palpatine (wtf was that ‘ritual’ even? what was this shadowy audience he had?). Just...a lot of stuff to digest. And the Palpatine storyline seemed like it was added out of the blue. Nothing in the 2 last movies gave a clue about this (or it wasn’t obvious). Seemed like a cheap last minute addition..

[hereditary-2018]

i got back to reading this month!! and here is what i read. sorry for another long post about media but this is how i am passing the days.

wise blood - i was disappointed in this!! it went nowhere. and sometimes reading it felt like an actual chore. definitely my least favorite piece of southern gothic lit i’ve read.

the haunting of hill house - i’d been putting off reading this for quite some time but i love the film adaptation from the 60s as well as the netflix series. i enjoyed it quite a bit, sometimes the dialogue was a little much, maybe like... unrealistic? but the escalation of unhingement was great.

once the shore - this is a collection of short stories that all take place at various times on the same (fictionalized) south korean island. it was extremely beautiful and absolutely heartbreaking at many points. the recurring themes of american occupation of south korea + the modernization of south korea/south korea becoming a tourist destination were very enlightening.

naked - started out good, got very boring about 60% if the way through. it’s a series of autobiographical essays and a lot of them were good! but some were very dull.

the keeper of lost things - this is the debut novel by ruth hogan and it definitely read like one. there was a lot of whimsy and emotion behind it, even if it wasn’t super well written. the story was a little unrealistic, but it was a very satisfying everything-falls-into-place type story.

fragments of horror - i am endlessly obsessed with junji ito and this was a very nice collection of his work. i didn’t love it as much as shiver, but i am always a huge fan of his.

shiver - i really loved this collection so much! especially the “behind the scenes” notes and early sketches. i love how junji ito’s brand of horror is very sudden, very incomprehensible terror happening out of nowhere. he goes a little into the history behind tomie in this one.

unspeakable things - i’m sorry if i have you on twitter and you saw me talk about this book at length already. i was very intrigued when i saw that the author of unspeakable things is from the same town as jacob wetterling. the abduction and murder of jacob wetterling is a devastating tragedy that was worsened by the utter incompetence of a lazy and inexperienced local police department. it also ultimately led to the creation of the sex offender registry. this was a really cheap attempt of the author to insert herself into the narrative. it was so poorly handled that it was simply offensive.

light in august - i enjoyed reading this, but it was laborious at times. it could have been about 200 pages shorter. and there was something about the whole “it’s useless to fight against the uncaring will of the universe/useless to fight against the influence of the past” sort of theme that didn’t sit right, and its treatment of race regarding a central character was... something, probably groundbreaking for its time, but. it is 2020. there were a lot of interesting and thought provoking parts, and some parts that i didn’t care for. so it goes.

if you tell - (TRIGGER WARNING / ABUSE / DEATH!!!) i actually didn’t really understand what this book was when i downloaded it for free because i was bored and wanted something new to start. this is a true crime book about michelle knotek and the abuse/torture she enacted upon her children, nephew, and two friends which ultimately resulted in three deaths. it goes into explicit detail of these vile acts to the point that it seemed unnecessary to continue stating over and over and over the things this woman and her husband did. for lack of a better term, it was sort of like torture porn. the daughters wanted this book to be written as michelle knotek is set to be released from prison in 2022 and they feel she will kill again. if you are a fan of true crime, there’s probably a podcast or two about this horrible case... wouldn’t really recommend this book to anyone.

i’m aiming for 75 books for my 2020 reading challenge! add me on goodreads so i can dig through your books for recommendations.

[lichlairs]

Checkout our new post over at https://lichlair.com/daily-monster-49-broom-of-animated-attack

Daily Monster #49: Broom of Animated Attack

Aaand that’s how you know we’re back, ladies and gentlemen. Here we have another entry to our Daily Monsters series that should have never been a thing to start with. And no, it’s not just because my DM bamboozled me into thinking it was a broom of flying, I just think they’re dumb!!1! Ahem…anyway, let’s talk about it or something.

Broom of Animated Attack

The basics

We’re looking at a +3 DEX and +0 CON and STR, with everything else going downhill from there. I doubt anyone would be surprised by the broom’s -5 INT and CHAR or their -3 WIS.

Thanks to their speedy nature, the animated broom has an AC of 15, as well as an above average movement speed of 50ft of flying (only hovering though). Once you do manage to land a hit on this creature, though, it shouldn’t be too difficult to finish it, considering it only has a hit point pool of 5d6.

In terms of immunities and resistances, there’s a couple but nothing most players should struggle with. Funnily enough, I’m pretty sure this is one of the first monsters we cover with immunity to being prone.

While brooms obviously can’t see things (hence their passive perception of 7), this particular broom actually has 30ft of Blindsight but is blind beyond that radius. Thankfully they can’t speak any languages because, if they could, they would probably curse out their creators

“Father, why?”

Even though the broom doesn’t get any sort of pluses to its Stealth, it’s likely that our players won’t notice them until it’s too late since their False Appearance feature makes them indistinguishable from the common household item.

Speaking of common household items, that’s exactly what this creature will turn into if one of your players were to cast Dispel Magic on it (on a failed CON Save of course). Because of their Antimagic Susceptibility, today’s monster becomes incapacitated when under the effects of antimagic field, what’s worse, on a failed save, the broom goes unconscious if that’s even the right word to use for a broom.

If your players do happen to fall for the broom’s False Appearance, they’re also in for a treat thanks to the creature’s Animated Attack, which instantly allows it to retaliate (with advantage) against any grubby hands that try to grab a hold of it but fail to restrain it.

Now, “Broomstick” might not sound like the most powerful of attacks even alongside a Multiattack feature, but I’m sure many people out there can agree on how painful these things can be. Especially when wielded by angry moms.

Today’s creature is considered a small construct of unaligned alignment with a CR of 1/4.

The lore

First off…why? As you guys probably know I’m not exactly the biggest fan of the fan favorite Curse of Strahd module but even I am out of words to describe this one. Of all the weird things to come out of that module…

For those of you unfamiliar with the module, there is a very early encounter in which this monster is introduced. In fact, I would say it’s definitely one of the many infamous encounters in the book. You might think a single broom should be an easy enough thread to handle for a small group of first level adventurers but, if caught off guard and considering some f the other moving pieces that I don’t want to spoil in this article, this encounter can be quite lethal.

Possibility of death aside, the animated broom in question is supposed to just, you know, be lying around in a closet which begs the question, who in the Nine Hells keeps this sort of thing around? Granted maybe it was done to showcase just how haunted the house is, but I still hold there’s better ways to do that and create a better, spookier atmosphere. Especially if you consider that, by their construct status, someone actually had to sit down and enchant/create this thing.

The execution

After sitting here for a solid five minutes wondering how this particular monster could have ended up in Barovia’s infamous haunted house, it occurred to me that I would actually have to come up with a plausible reason for our players to encounter this monster, so I could write about it in this section. So here’s the thing, we know that they must be created, but the reason for their creation remains a bit of a mystery. I do have some interesting thoughts for a low level encounter though. Take a look:

For whichever plot reasons you end up going with, our party of adventurers finds themselves tasked with paying a visit to the local wizard who is said to be older than time itself and more powerful than any other being on the realm. Upon getting to the wizard’s tower (maybe a Galder’s Tower?), no one answers the door and, just as they’re about to leave, they hear cries for help from within. After barging through the door and hurrying up several flights of stairs, however, what they find is an interesting sight; a shriveled old man with blue robes and a pointy hat, his body curled into a ball in a corner as he tries to escape an onslaught of strikes from a hovering broom. Spread across the floor are various research notes stained with coffee and a pair of broken glasses.

Artistic interpretation of the events.

Of course that’s just one approach and not all animated brooms need to be the result of failed experiments. I t could be that they’re intentionally produced as security measures for people who are (unfortunately) allergic to dogs or something. Or maybe they are the result of high accumulations of magic going rogue. Ultimately it’s up to you and whatever fits your world best.

And that’s it for today! As always, thank you for reading and so make sure to check out our social media and make sure you follow us there so we can let you know when new articles go up. We post new content every day of the week!

[justanotherdaylikeanyother-blog1]

You can't stop writing! You wrote the only abo fic I ever finished. And I'm rereading Thrown for a Loop, one of my favorites. I wish Pacat had more interest in talking about CP, because it seems like the fandom is just dying. :(

Thanks anon! Thrown for a Loop and The Veretian Flytrap (I assume that’s what you’re referring to, but it’s kind of hilarious to realise that I have multiple fics/series that are ‘abo fics’, so I guess it could be one of the other ones) are two of my fics that I particularly love even though the breakneck pace of writing them killed me a little. So I’m glad you enjoyed them as well. I wouldn’t worry too much, though. I’m just in a bit of a funk currently, I think. It happens. It’ll likely pass soon once I get my head straight again (and readjust my expectations of myself yet again).

As for the fandom dying, I’m sorry but I’m going to go off on a tangent here. And please note that this is a general statement rather than an indictment against you, anon. But you sort of brought it up, and this is something that’s been bothering me lately, so I might as well take the opportunity to say it now.

It’s strange to me how much we expect creators to be involved with or provide direction or drive for fandoms. It might just be because I was part of various fandoms long before things like twitter existed, so the ability to engage directly with creators was a lot more limited when my expectations of the fandom experience were formed. But I’ve really always seen fandom as ideally being its own thing, quite separate from the creator of the thing that the fandom is based on, unless the creator voluntarily goes out of their way to get involved with it (and even then, there should be limits). If the source material goes in a direction you didn’t like, complain to other fans as much as you want, but don’t complain directly to the creator that they ruined your experience; it’s not actually their job to satisfy you individually. If you want to see your OTP end up together, write fic or draw art of them (or moodboards and playlists and whatever other content your heart desires), but don’t tweet at the creator that they’re a terrible person if they don’t make it happen in canon or acknowledge it in interviews or whatever (looking at you at the moment, Good Omens fandom); again, it’s their creation to do with as they please and it’s not their responsibility to cater to your specific desires. Similarly, if the fandom is dying down after canon ended, that’s ultimately on us, not on the creator; it’s not the creator’s responsibility to keep us interested in something they’ve already mostly moved on from. 

I’ve seen fandoms get a second life years after canon ended just because a couple of really enthusiastic authors or artists jumped into that fandom late and started pumping out content (Inception is one that springs prominently to mind, but there have been others as well). And while new canon or new adaptations of canon are certainly things that bring new people to the fandom, the author just talking about their existing canon isn’t particularly likely to do that (which is probably part of the reason why Pacat doesn’t do it much). Mostly what that kind of engagement really does is just sparks conversations for those people who are already part of the fandom. And honestly, why do we need the creator to do that for us? Can’t the same thing be achieved by sharing headcanons? Why does the author need to confirm something for us in order for us to just collectively run with it, or at least to have fun debating about it? And I mean, imagine if Pacat answered questions about things like the length of all the characters’ hair. Half the ongoing conversations in this fandom would stop. 

I appreciate that not everyone takes the ‘death of the author’ concept as far as I do, where I don’t honestly care what the creator says after the fact because it’s not any more canon to me than my own headcanons are. But still. Fandoms were going strong long before we could tweet our questions directly at the author. Fandom builds on itself just as much as it builds on canon. If the fandom isn’t as active as we’d like, we really need to do something about it ourselves rather than waiting for someone else like the creator to take responsibility for it. Write stories. Run an exchange. Send prompts to other writers or take prompts yourself. Whatever interests you, just keep doing it, or do more of it. That’s how closed fandoms stay alive. And yeah, there’s still going to be attrition over time in terms of how many people are involved. But that doesn’t have to mean it’s not still active.

And yes, I know this probably sounds a little hypocritical, because I’ve been known to voice my sadness that there isn’t a lot of interaction going on with my fics compared to a year or two ago, and to have lapses in motivation as a result, because the extrinsic motivation isn’t always there. But once I’ve gotten that frustration out of my system by posting about it here (and gotten over myself, let’s be honest), I also do tend to put my big girl pants on and decide to go write some more fic and take prompts and occasionally write meta when someone throws a topic my way (which you’re always welcome to do, btw). That’s the role I’ve chosen to take in this fandom. And ultimately, as long as I do what I want to do personally, there’s not much point in complaining about what anyone else or the fandom as a whole is doing, because at least I’m being active in a way that works for me.

[duckbeater]

Some Notes on A. S. Hamrah

A lifetime ago, I thought it’d be rewarding to teach A. S. Hamrah’s “A Better Moustrap” to first-year students struggling through their second semester of basic comp. I wanted to wow them with Hamrah’s heedless deployment of unsettling theses, argued crisply and irreverently, in an essay that supplies a plausible solution to its concerns (a rarity among most rhetorical appeals, whose authors left my students stimulated but empty-handed). Very in the vein of “A Modest Proposal,” “Mousetrap” confronts a social ill—fetish videos where women crush small animals to death under their Stilettos—yet proposes a non-ironic salve: “crushies,” where “the must-have plush-toys of the Christmas rush will be smashed underfoot.” Most of my course was based on weird internet shit, which I thought (I still think) mostly anyone can appreciate, especially the young. “Mousetrap” is full of that weird-internet-shit jouissance.

“Reading this is like eating your favorite food,” I told the class. “You’re just gonna shovel in ideas. They’re all delicious. Eh, they’re pretty weird, too. But it’ll be fun.” It wasn’t fun. Nobody read the essay. Moving through its arguments, in front of twenty-five nineteen-year-olds and a few grandmothers, was embarrassing. I had to dissect Hamrah’s great takes on crush video culture, his movements through film history, his appraisals of Mickey Rooney, then his wider and, to me, scintillating prognostications on American adulthood—an adulthood most everyone in the classroom (accepting the grannies) was soon to inherit—totally alone. “Do you watch these videos?” one student asked. “Then what’s your fetish?” asked another. “Bryson fucks books!” became the consensus. (“I fuck your dads!” I thankfully did not say but very much wanted to. I was a coward; this partially explains why no one bothered to complete my assignments.)

Flying solo—or falling sans parachute, as the case may be—through Hamrah’s film criticism and cultural reportage of the last decade has probably been a shared experience among his far-flung admirers. Finding his byline in Bookforum or the obscure domain of the International Federation of Film Critics or mirrored pages from the defunct Hermenaut was usually the result of a periodic Google search. If he appears more regularly now, and more regularly in prestige venues, that’s the fault of n+1, where he’s contributed reviews tri-quarterly since roughly 2008.

Indeed, it was Hamrah’s initial, online-only contribution that inspired so much ardor and devotion. “Oscars Previews” provided bright, bursting capsules—the gleeful bitchery of a best friend's phone call. Apparently this quality was transliterated from its material creation, when he reported the piece to his editor, Keith Gessen, over a phone, after complaining he didn’t have time to write the thing. Each entry in this salvo (none are more than a hundred or so words) lands with a zinger. They have the polish of a joke, featuring a setup, some reinforcement and then a payoff. He even plays some of his capsules against each other as callbacks. The entirety of Hamrah’s entry on Michael Clayton reads: “There was a lot of driving in Michael Clayton. I like driving in movies but after a while Michael Clayton started to seem like a car ad—though it showed how a car ad can be liberal. That’s a message for our times.” The wit is authoritative, hypnotic, dismissive. The taste behind these pronouncements felt sui generis, and the criticisms brief enough to be dispatched verbatim without attribution. I was a senior in college when I first read Hamrah. I had a busy season of parties at professor’s houses and dined-out on his opinions for weeks. 

This is not to say Hamrah only works when you’re young and grasping for style. But I do think it’s evident now that his short forms are the seedbed for his long form successes, paper sketches for the larger canvas. When you read enough of Hamrah’s capsule reviews, you get the sense he’s reporting exactly (or only) what fits into his little joke, sometimes you can even hear him reaching for his beats. When you read a whole book of them, you get the sense Hamrah’s less interested in the works under review than in his performance of reviews, his performance of freedom and audacity.

—

The Earth Dies Streaming, apart from film writing, is a log of Hamrah’s fascination with his persona, his brand of humor and arch sensibilities. He’s not exactly a curmudgeon—he wants readers to know he’s tried too many drugs to be a curmudgeon (comparisons to acid trips crop up, as does “bad speed”)—and he’s not exactly an academic (despite his Ivy League bona fides as a corporate semiotician)—and he’s not even a movie reviewer in the jejune, crass, sell-out way so many movie reviewer must be in today’s enfeebled, saturated, and deeply compromised market (he tries “to never include anything in [his] writing that could be extracted and used for publicity”). This is where I trot out a gif of Amy Poehler playing a Cool Mom in Mean Girls. Hamrah’s bobblehead offers virgin daiquiris to teenage cineastes. “I’m not like a regular film critic,” he says, “I’m a cool film critic.” The tits, the wink, the velour sweatsuit.

Other irritations. Hamrah’s insistence on the inferiority of animated films and his churlish dismissal of Miyazaki’s contributions to the medium’s history. He’s always on accident catching some part of a children’s movie—on an airplane, in a public clinic—and using these unsatisfactory experiences to comment on the aesthetics and advancements of animation at large. It’s a hobby horse he flays as often as Adorno assaulted jazz, and (to both their credits), slightly adorable for how insistent and under-thought. If only, as he does in “Jessica Biel’s Hand,” he would immerse himself in the backlog of lauded animation from this century and the last, he might, for once, be able to say something interesting about it.

Hamrah’s stance against feature-length animation is nearly as looming and placeless as his stance against other films critics, whom he evidently reads closely but can never be bothered to cite. His essays are peppered with a dreaded sea of bought-off weekly reviewers whose pedestrian tastes frustrate him. This, despite the regularly insightful, playful, and overall helpful criticism of David Edelstein and Emily Yoshida at New York; Dana Stevens at Slate; Manhola Darghis at the Times; Justin Chang in Los Angeles; and the fairly dour takes of Peter Debruge in the industry’s digest, Variety. Hamrah alludes to David Denby’s work in Streaming’s introduction, then names him outright in a later capsule review of Little Children. Otherwise, your guess is as good as mine as to with what critical consensus Hamrah finds his views out of alignment. These are critics and journalists who, obliged by deadlines, report weekly on their film-going habits. That they have new things to say even once a month is a miracle, but that they do so four to ten times a month is frankly incredible. (It must be evident that I’m a fan of movie reviews and film criticism. I work an office job where between menials I find intense delight and distraction in the work of daily reviewers, and I carry around with me an ungainly amount of knowledge regarding box office performances and future releases that in all other ways I have no interaction: I go to the movies maybe three times a month, often by myself, and often I see low-brow flicks. Last weekend I saw the third How to Train Your Dragon movie; the weekend before that, Isn’t It Romantic; a weekend before that, Roma. I saw these movies on the advice of daily reviewers, and Roma only after reading Caleb Crain’s celebration of it.)

I volunteer Richard Brody and Christian Lorentzen as Hamrah’s contemporary intellectual kin, with caveats. Brody’s work is too mystical, too mythical to properly critique his subjects, and his symptomatic readings, which border on the Lacanian in terms of the extraneous and deranged, become hulking apertures that always overtake whatever work is under discussion, squashing them. Also he is never, ever funny in his reviews. Brody is a curmudgeon, and what he criticizes rarely appears in the films themselves but float around the films’ receptions, financing or forebears, and when he ventures into specifics—a film’s lensing, its sound, the actors and their acting styles—his descriptions become ridiculous. Lorentzen, as with his book reviews, writes to a word count. (There is no other reason for the amount of tedious plot summary in a Lorentzen take-down.) If Hamrah sounds like these critics, it may be because all three are careful in their dissents to let the filmmakers know they think they’re complete assholes. When these three do find praise for a work, it’s the entirely appropriate object of adoration, art-house and independent, or, gotcha!, a studio event they appreciate for more correct, more interesting, and more nuanced reasons than everyone else.

What sets these critics apart from the daily reviewers I listed above, may be the daily reviewers’ capacity to surprise and be surprised. Perhaps they saw a movie with a daughter and her friend; they appreciated a family flick in context; they were caught unawares by stray scenes in a larger, unsuccessful work, and appreciated glimpsed wisdom. They have hope yet for a return to better forms. These reviewers are flexible and receptive; they are as likely to be charmed as they are to be chagrined. Even when Brody, Lorentzen and Hamrah are surprised by the quality of a work, they take it as an affront to their sensibilities and bridle, like horses suspicious of an open gate. Why were they not warned? Why should they trust this development? Their reflexive, ingrained annoyance, occasionally flowering into high dudgeon, fills their actual reviews with foregone conclusions. One does not visit their writing for news, or for new takes, for synthesized connections, or revelations of form. One visits for the comforting familiarity of a flagging standard—“a continuity of aesthetics that [has] become an aesthetics of continuity,” if I’m remembering the St Aubyn phrase correctly.

Criticism this entrenched in its own personality ends up toothless. It’s why Renata Adler, for instance, will be remembered for her reporting and not her film criticism. Despite its bite—and it’s quite biting—it rarely leaves a mark. Hamrah never cites Adler—nor do I think he will. His prose and her prose are rather too alike. He must sense the comparison coming, and dislike it, because Adler is not particularly well informed on film and filmmaking. Her amateurish moonlighting grated in 1968, and it grates now, but only for its prosumer-level expertise. Her prose (like Hamrah’s) remains indelible, deadpan, and addictive. When I recall the subhead to Kyle Paoletta’s appreciation of Hamrah, “Always On: A. S. Hamrah’s film criticism is a welcome corrective in an outmoded field,” I consider Adler’s own attempts at the form, as a corrective. And I find them contiguous with other platforms discussing same, places like Slate, Twitter, and The Ringer’s Exit Survey, which preempts the leap from hot take to tweet. (Q: “What is your tweet-length review of Venom?” A: “What if All of Me (1984) but action and also tater tot–loving aliens?”) What I’m saying is this: Hamrah’s form is not novel. His tone is not novel. His writing is, however, very convenient (brief, digestible) and entertaining, and he’s been adding more personal atmosphere of late.

So the named lodestars in Hamrah’s critical firmament: Pauline Kael, Susan Sontag, Jonathan Rosenbaum, J. Hoberman and Manny Farber (to whom Hamrah pens an exceptionally sweet and informative essay). Hoberman, the only critic still alive among these titans, shares Hamrah’s acid tongue and penchant for political excavations, while doing his readers a courtesy by assuming not all of them attend film festivals or live in limited-release area codes. The same semester I taught “A Better Mousetrap,” I taught Sontag on sci-fi movies and Hoberman’s seminal “21st Century Cinema: Death and Resurrection in the Desert of the (New) Real” (later to become his book-length essay, Film After Film). Hoberman can be as tart and irreverent as Hamrah, but he’s not above recounting plot summaries. He’s both a guide and a rebel. I suppose, following my own argument, if in fact I’m making one, this makes Hoberman the better critic—a classification that would not hurt Hamrah’s feelings. (This would hurt very few film critics’ feelings.)   

—

Very little of the above matters. I had hoped to answer why, then I got bored (then I had to go to work; after that, I had to design a booth for a marketing expo in London; then I lost the thread). When I was in Brooklyn last December, I dropped into the Spoonbill on Montrose. The first book I bought on my second time in New York City was Hamrah’s The Earth Dies Streaming, and I carried it about like an obsessive as I made my way by foot to Prospect Park. I devoured it in a few days. I devoured it again on the plane ride back to Chicago. And I’ve read all the capsules before, and most of the essays—they’re usually posted in front of paywalls. If I quibble with Hamrah, it may be because he’s made me a better writer, and surely a better thinker, yet I found that I disliked my own dismissiveness and superiority, my own rigidity. If I can name my influences, I thought, I can break from them. But this is unso. 

[fangzeronos]

SDCC 2018 wrap up

Ok now that SDCC is over, I feel like I should do a little wrap up for the weekend. I got to sit and wait for all the trailers and news to come out since I couldn’t afford to go, so this is gonna be strictly from the “Nerd on the Couch” perspective. I’m putting a read more in case anyone wanna skip this.

 Titans: The trailer was alright. Robin’s in a bad place because of Batman so his “Fuck Batman” line is justified. Starfire and Beast Boy could still use some work, but it was only the first trailer, so we’ll have to reserve judgement until the show comes out. I’m looking forward to it anyway.

 Young Justice Outsiders: It’s actually real. I thought for the last two years we’ve all been thinking it’s not coming and that we’ve all been living in a dream about wanting it back. I was in the middle of the store when I saw the trailer and my heart stopped. Two minutes of Season 2 recap, including Wally’s ‘death’ (HE ISN’T DEAD ALRIGHT!? HE’S JUST IN THE SPEED FORCE AND NOBODY CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE DAMMIT!!!) before we get the new footage. The new characters look amazing, Geoforce looks like he’s going to be a good character, hopefully we’ll get Terra since she’s “been missing for two years”. Still waiting to see M’gann, Kaldur, Beast Boy, and the rest of the season 2 cast, but I’m excited for this one more then Titans.

 And since both shows above are going to be on the DC Universe Online service, I can see paying $75 a year for it if we’re going to get more Young Justice. With all the shows coming out on DCUO, like Harley Quinn, Stargirl, Swamp Thing, Doom Patrol, and all of the older shows like Batman The Animated Series, Wonder Woman, the older DC movies and the comics, I can justify paying that much for a yearlong subscription.

 Supergirl: Season 4 looks like it’s going to be interesting. Agent Liberty seems like a decent antagonist, but with the way this show has done in the past, hyping a villain for the first half and then swapping it with a generic bad guy for the second, I don’t have much hope. It looks like they’re toning down the relationship drama from season 2 and 3, which is good. I’m honestly thinking they’re going to screw Lena’s character development and have her go evil Luthor judging by how season 3 ended with her “We can begin phase two” line and having the Harun-El made up that she gave to Alura. A few quick shots of Alex as Director of the DEO sporting a new haircut, nothing too revealing except for the Supergirl spacesuit at the end. I saw it and my mind went to the first Injustice 2 game trailer from 2016 with the armored look. I’m looking forward to the new season, not keen on it being on Sundays before the Charmed reboot but have to get the viewers for a remake somehow.

 Arrow: Oliver Queen in prison. That’s a hell of a concept for the season. We know something’s going to change and he’s going to be out by the fourth or fifth episode, possibly earlier. Decent shots of the other characters, Dinah wearing SCPD riot gear was a nice touch, Laurel-2 denouncing vigilantism makes for an interesting idea considering what the hell she’s done in the last seasons. Diaz is fine, not enjoying having him around again but since he didn’t get killed at the end of the last season, it’s fine. Longbow Hunters might make for interesting fodder, but we can’t be sure until the show starts. I’m sick of Felicity, but that arguments been done to death. We all know it was Roy in the Green Arrow suit in the end of the trailer. If it had been Diggle, we’d have seen his face and since we know Roy’s back, it doesn’t really give us many options to choose from. I’m glad it’s on Mondays now so I can watch it and keep up instead of being behind.

 Legends of Tomorrow: It looks great. This one has become one of my favorites on the network and I’m glad to see they’re getting more episodes. Hopefully this season doesn’t get shafted and end up getting thrown to a different night or time or cut in the middle for a different show. Bringing Constantine back for a regular spot is a good move considering what they’re going to be dealing with thanks to the fallout from killing Mallus. Dragons, demons, all sorts of magical and mythical creatures. “Couldn’t we be heroes just a little longer?” made me laugh and it’s that sort of thing that makes Legends stand out to me. It can be dark and gritty but still lighthearted and fun. It’s what Flash started to be and it’s what Arrow needs to be. I’m glad it’s going to be on Mondays along with Arrow.

 Flash: Coming off of the reveal that Mystery Girl is actually Barry and Iris’ daughter (which I’d had a feeling about anyway since she was so giddy at the wedding in the Crisis crossover), Nora seems to be a fun addition to the cast this year. I’m honestly looking forward to seeing what she messed up, why she came back, and why didn’t she learn from Barry’s mistakes about screwing with the Timeline. Cicada looks to be interesting, and I hope he’s going to be the main villain for the year. I want to know more about how Caitlin was Frost before the Accelerator and Flashpoint happened, or is it a side effect of Flashpoint two years later? Guess we’ll find out in October.

 Aquaman: The trailer looked amazing. This might just be part of what the DCEU needs to get its shit together and stop being so grimdark. Wonder Woman proved DC movies can do fun and lighthearted and still hit some dark themes and notes, and this looks like it’s going to do the same thing. Jason Mamoa looks as badass as he did in Justice League, Amber Heard is beautiful as Mera. Atlantis looked amazing. I’m thoroughly excited and December can’t come quick enough to see this.

 Shazam!: One of my favorite DC heroes, man. Zachary Levi just killed it in this trailer and I was laughing the whole way through. If the movie keeps that same energy up, I’ll be damn happy. March release for this one and I’m ready to go!

 Godzilla: King of the Monsters: It’s frigging Godzilla, fighting his own list of bad guys. Mothra, Rodan, King Ghidorah, all classics that should have been in the first one instead of the MUTO. I’ve always been a Godzilla nerd, so when I saw this trailer I was geeking the fuck out. I’m definitely excited for this one.

 Now, you’re probably wondering, “Hey, where’s Voltron in all of this?” and you’d be right that I haven’t talked about it yet. I have spent three days milling over the reveals from the Voltron panel and been trying the right ways to word things, so I don’t seem like I’m being an asshole and damning myself with what I’m going to say. Now, with that out of the way.

 The season 7 trailer looked good. We’re going back to Earth, so who knows how much time really has passed since the only indication we’ve had was the week that Kuron was in the Galra fighter before Keith and Black found him back in season 3. I’m sad to see that season 8 is going to be the last of VLD, but I can understand why, since they were only approved for so many episodes. Going back to a 13-episode season is the best thing they could have done. Keith piloting Black still kind of irks me, but with Shiro only having one arm, I guess it makes sense. I would much rather have Allura in Black, put Lance back in Blue, and give Red back to Keith, but that’s a whole other post.

 The big thing people took away from the panel was “You’ll meet Shiro’s significant other, Adam.” When I saw that on Twitter, I was…. I’m not gonna lie, I was disappointed. You’ve had six seasons of moments between Shiro and Allura, the Hand Touch, the way she looked at him when he said “You found me” at the end of the season, how adamant they are about saving each other every time they’re in danger, Shiro’s resolve to get her back in Season 1 after she threw him into the shuttle and got taken by the Galra. And now it’s all thrown out of the airlock?

 No offense to the writers, Josh Keaton who gets mad credit for keeping this close to the chest and not revealing anything, the fans that are a fan of this plot point for the next season, but I’m not a fan. Don’t get me wrong, LGBT representation in animation/kids’ media has come a long way in a few short years. Look at Steven Universe. One of the main characters is a literal fusion of two she-pronoun using space rocks. I just feel like this is shoehorned in like a checkmark on an RPG character creation. “PTSD? Check. Missing limb? Check. Male POC? Check. What else can we check to make people happy? OH! Gay! DOUBLE CHECK!!” is what it feels like to me. To me, this feels like the writers have been shadow stalking Tumblr, AO3, FF.net, everywhere else Voltron is big and made their choice but what the popular ships were in the search results.

 Make Shiro gay, fine. Make him bi, that’d be a better option because then we can ship him with whoever we want and not get comments that say that shipping Shiro with Allura or any other female member of this show is gay erasure. By saying “Shiro’s gay”, you’re shooting all of the other Shiro ships in the face. Shieth shippers are over the moon, Shallura shippers are sitting in a corner, Klance shippers are looking between the two going “WTF”, and the rest of the internet’s like “Why is it a big deal?”

 I feel like I should stop there about this. This is already more then a page in my word doc.

 SDCC 2018 was fun to watch from a distance. CW brought some good trailers, DC killed it with 8 trailers, and Voltron is what it is. Now begins the countdown for SDCC 2019.

[tinnefoil]

If you have never read Sterling Gates amazing ode to Supergirl and her importance before, you really should. https://twitter.com/sterlinggates/status/843860997127393281

And maybe send him some love on twitter! 

Best Quotes if you find the thread hard to read: 

#Supergirl's motto is "Hope, help, & compassion for all." I wrote that because we need a character to advocate/stand for those ideals.

For me, #Supergirl is the most important character in DC’s canon. (And your mileage may vary…especially you Batman fans!)

#Supergirl is an alien refugee, sent to this planet to follow in her cousin Superman’s footsteps. That makes her  a wholly unique character. At the time of #Supergirl’s creation, there were few characters like her, and few with her story.

They gave #Supergirl the Super-S and made her “Superman’s Secret Weapon.” Some of those initial stories are extreeemely dated now, BUT #Supergirl was always treated as someone as powerful (or moreso in a couple cases!) as Superman.

[...]

People point to #Supergirl's death in "Crisis on Infinite Earths" as a low point for the character. I think it's one of her most important. In that story, #Supergirl goes toe-to-toe with the Anti-Monitor, then the most powerful DC villain of all-time. This dude  DESTROYED UNIVERSES. #Supergirl wipes the floor with him, even as she makes sure Superman and Dr. Light are safe.

Even as she fights the greatest threat the DC Universe has ever known in COIE, #Supergirl saves others...which seals her tragic fate. Obviously, that issue had a huge impact on me as a kid. It's one of the stories I turn to again and again to help me understand #Supergirl.

#Supergirl has grown past that issue in the last thirty years (as has her meaning to the world), but that story always strikes me. I always felt COIE underscored #Supergirl's strengths: her compassion, her self-sacrificial nature, her abilities.

[...]

Which brings us back to her importance to the DCU: #Supergirl started as a distaff character aimed at "kid sisters." She's since grown  to become a symbol for hope, a symbol reminding us to offer a helping hand to those in need, and  a symbol encouraging us to act with compassion. #Supergirl reflects those ideals back at us, because when she arrived on Earth THAT was what she saw...that was what she experienced. And that's why #Supergirl's motto became "hope, help, and compassion for all."

[...]

One of the things that I like so much about #Supergirl is how universal her story can be. ("But she's an alien who can fly!" you say.) And yes, that's true. But #Supergirl's also someone who migrated to this world and was immediately hidden away by Superman. There is a LOT of subtext to those early #Supergirl stories, where Superman quickly throws a wig on her and says "don't use your powers."

In fact, most of the times Superman is okay with #Supergirl using her powers in those stories is when he's in a BAAAAAD spot.

How many people -- especially young women -- are told over and over again "just be normal and/or quiet" by someone until they're needed?

#Supergirl has these amazing gifts and the first few years of her appearances, she's stuck in an orphanage. It's THIRTY ISSUES before  Superman is like "uhhh, I probably should tell the world about you, huh?" And #Supergirl gets a crazy coming out issue. (JFK shows up!) The immigrant who's told to hide their gifts unless they're needed for work? WAY more relevant story to people than, say, Batman. #Supergirl

And I'm not picking on Batman here, honestly. I just think #Supergirl's more important a message to people than the billionaire ninja.

(And before BC runs the headline "Sterling Gates Hates Batman," please note that Batman is one of my favorite characters. But still.)

[...]

In a lot of ways, #Supergirl's more relatable to so many because her story is about her natural gifts. (Yes, including flight. But still.) #Supergirl didn't spend millions on going to Ninja School or building trick arrows, she got to Earth and discovered she could DO things. Again, I think that's so, so relatable. #Supergirl's powers are internal. Yes, they need sunlight to access, but they come from inside.

Our friend in Batman @Ssnyder1835 has weighed in to point out that Batman is about overcoming fears. I have said it before, but I think  it's powerful that Bruce Wayne lost his parents. It's an incredible motivator for that character. He overcomes that loss and swears  no other kid in Gotham will ever lose their parents like he did, and that's why he does what he does. #Supergirl actually lost more.

In the original stories, #Supergirl lost her world completely. The Argo City inhabitants watched their planet die. THEN  they discovered their Space Life Raft was sinking. Zor-El and Alura scrambled and discovered they could only save Kara. In the span of a few months, Kara loses her world, her people, and her parents. THEN she gets sent to a planet she's never heard of and gets hidden in an orphanage by Superman and told not to use her powers. At all. Ever....unless he gives her a call.

Look at how many different origin stories that is. Orphan, Lost World, Hidden Hero, Legacy Character. #Supergirl is many, many things.

As such, #Supergirl now represents many, many things to many different people. 

#Supergirl is now an empowering story for young women in a way that she was not in the 1950s. She's become a new symbol for the 2010s.

#Supergirl represents the immigrant experience in America at its best: she came here and flourished using her natural gifts. (Side note: I've actually always wanted to do a Silver Age story that would go deeper into why Superman kept her hidden in that orphanage.) For many in the LGBTQ+ community, the #Supergirl tv show offers an incredible narrative in Alex's journey. That's so valuable.

[...]

When you have the privilege of writing for a character you love for so long in your career, you spend a LOT of time thinking about  how they were created and what makes them work for you. I've been honored to create #Supergirl stories for almost a decade now.

For me, it speaks to #Supergirl's strength that she's come so far in her personal journey. I lost a parent as a teen and crumbled. She  lost EVERYTHING and still managed to become one of Earth's most hopeful heroes. There's unlimited power in that narrative.

[johnboothus]

We Asked 14 Bartenders: Whats the Best Spring Cocktail?

With the arrival of spring, things begin to stir: The bright blooming of tulips and daffodils; the festive atmosphere of farmers’ markets; the exposure of bare skin to the elements. A specific kind of progress can be felt with the return of warmer weather. It raises the spirit, reawakening a confident hopefulness that hibernates all winter.

Spring also welcomes a roster of dependably refreshing drinks that express the season’s sprightliness. They are lighter and brighter tasting, and make the most of fresh ingredients, seeking to capture and celebrate the moment’s flavors. (Spring does have its fair share of cold days, though, and thus some creations will be sturdier and warming, incorporating components prevalent in winter cocktails.)

To ensure we imbibe appropriately through the season, we turned to the experts and asked 14 bartenders across the country to spotlight their favorite seasonal tipples that say, “Spring is here!”

From inventive takes on the spritz to classic tiki cocktails like the Mai Tai, here’s what the experts picked. Drink up!

The Best Spring Cocktails Recommended By Bartenders:

Fiero Spritz

Mai Tai

Bamboo

Pimm’s Cup

Suffering Bastard

Bee’s Knees

Rock, Salt & Nails

Tom Collins

The Horse’s Neck

Mango Collins

Esteban’s Sangria

Skeleton Key

St-Germain Spritz

Siesta

Keep reading for details about all of the recommended drinks!

“My current favorite spring drink is definitely the spritz. I love being able to sip on several of these refreshing, low-alcohol beverages as the weather warms up and we can finally spend some time outside. This cocktail is so dynamic in that you can make it with many different ingredients. The classic Aperol spritz is a wonderful option, but I also like to get creative with it, subbing in different aperitifs and sparkling wines. My current favorite patio crusher is Martini & Rossi Fiero with a splash of blood-orange juice and some Mionetto Prosecco. Adding to the list of benefits for this drink is that it’s easily built in the glass. Bring your ingredients outside to the table and mix away at your leisure — no need to head back inside to make another round!” —Miranda Breedlove, National Director of Bars, Hyatt Lifestyle, Chicago

“By the time spring rolls around each year, I find myself extremely eager to move away from the cold and darkness of winter. I look for a cocktail that, in my mind, seems to jumpstart the warm weather, and helps me cruise into spring with an eye on plans for summer. A well-made Mai Tai is one of the most transportive cocktails I know. When I taste one for the first time each year I know I’m on my way to sunnier days. The complexities of that strong, refreshing, and nutty rum sour (probably chewing on some good pebble ice as well) embody spring in a glass to me. It’s probably my favorite way to follow up my first lawn-mowing of the year.“ —Mattias Hagglund, Owner and Bartender, The Jasper, Richmond, Va.

“One of my favorite spring cocktails is the Bamboo. It was created in the 1890s by a bartender named Louis Eppinger. He was a German working at the Royal Hotel in Japan. It’s a very simple combination of vermouth and sherry, along with bitters. The opportunities for variations are nearly endless because of the diverse styles and types of sherry and vermouth one can employ. A nutty oloroso or amontillado sherry works for me in the cooler months. But as the weather warms, I prefer a more dry sherry like a fino or manzanilla. The bracing salinity that switch gives makes for a very crisp cocktail that still has great depth and nuance. The other half of the cocktail is vermouth. I use Dolin dry but supplement it with a small bit of blanc vermouth as well. The sweetness this adds is subtle but effective. Rounds out the drink and makes it feel more full. Gives it a little dramatic tension. The first Bamboo I tried was made for me by the amazing Abigail Gullo at the Beagle, a wonderful bar that used to be in the East Village. Was immediately smitten! I’d love to batch them on nice days and stroll around our old neighborhood — Red Hook in Brooklyn — with my wife and friends, sipping them from coffee cups.” —Evan Bulchoz, Owner, Brix & Rye, Greenport, N.Y.

“One of my favorite drinks whenever the weather turns warmer is a Pimm’s Cup. I’m a fan of bitter and earthy spirits, and the herbaceous notes of Pimm’s makes for a refreshingly delicious lower-ABV cocktail. I grew up right outside of New Orleans and before moving to Portland, lived in the city for 16 years. A favorite destination for drinks was always the Napoleon House. In fact, my wedding was held at the Pharmacy Museum right by the Napoleon House. We had people running over to bring us Pimm’s Cups during the reception, so they definitely have a special place in my heart!” —Sierra Kirk-Luebke, Co-owner, Cliff’s PDX, Portland, Ore.

“Springtime in Mississippi is short and sudden, so it’s like flipping a light switch from off to on but then somehow the switch breaks on the on position and then comes intense humidity and heat, otherwise known as summer. Since it’s so short, I treat spring almost like a holiday, so that means shorts, sandals, Hawaiian shirts, and tiki drinks. Lots of tiki drinks. My go-to is an easy one that has its roots at the Shepheard Hotel in Cairo, way back during the Second World War. The Suffering Bastard, created by Joe Scialom, calls for brandy and gin, but I typically have more bourbon laying around so the recipe I use is: 1 ounce bourbon, 1 ounce gin, 1/2 ounce lime juice, 1/4 ounce simple syrup, 4 dashes of Angostura bitters, and then topped off with a nice ginger ale, like Boylan’s. To make: Shake everything but the ginger ale in a shaker with ice. Then strain into a Collins glass, add ice, top with ginger ale, and garnish with a mint sprig.“ —Derek Baker, Bartender, Snackbar, Oxford, Miss.

“A classic Bee’s Knees is the perfect blueprint for a spring cocktail. The honey syrup is a great backdrop for cycling in seasonal ingredients (strawberry and rhubarb-infused honey, anyone?), and swapping out the base spirit, gin, for rum or whiskey is a pretty simple way to jazz it up. Now, on colder spring days, there’s nothing like a reposado tequila (I love Teremana for this) with hibiscus, honey, and lemon; the vanilla and caramel notes are just cozy enough, but the hibiscus and citrus hint at warmer days to come. Last, when you get one of those warm sundress days, a navy-strength gin in the classic build is the perfect way to celebrate the season!” —Resa Mueller, Bartender, R&D, Philadelphia

“As a lover of all things vegetal, stirred, and boozy, the new springtime Martini by Stuart Jensen of Brass Tacks, my favorite bar in Denver, really blew my socks off. It’s like a 50/50 Martini amplified with manzanilla sherry, herbal wine and celery-root liqueur. I truly can’t get enough. It’s called Rock, Salt & Nails and features: 1 1/2 ounces of Botanist Gin, 3/4 ounce of both manzanilla sherry and Absentroux, 1/2 ounce of Apologue celery root liqueur, a dash saline, and two dashes Strongwater floral bitters. Stir all ingredients with ice and strain into a Martini glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.” —Alex Jump, Head Bartender, Death & Co., Denver

“Tom Collins! It’s my partner’s favorite cocktail, and I’m addicted to sparkling water, so we almost always have gin and soda laying around. She prefers them as is, but sometimes I’ll add a dash of Angostura bitters or absinthe to mine to spice things up a bit. Or if I’m feeling lazy, gin and soda with a squeeze of citrus does the trick just fine, too. It’s a template that allows for easy tinkering, depending on your mood. Spring and gin go hand in hand as far as I’m concerned. Here’s how we make Tom Collins’ at the bar: 2 ounces of gin — preferably London Dry but Old Tom is great, too — and 3/4 ounce of both lemon juice and simple syrup. Add ingredients to a cocktail shaker with ice and shake briefly but firmly. Double strain into a chilled Collins glass and top with 2 ounces of soda water. Fill with ice. Garnish with a cherry and orange twist.” —Carlo Caroscio, Bar Manager, Backbar, Somerville, Mass.

“The Horse’s Neck is a thing of beauty for its simplicity, but as with all things simple it’s easy to spoil if the ingredients aren’t selected wisely and the drink is executed carelessly. Born in the late 19th century and often forgotten, this drink is essentially a basic Highball whose name refers to the long, curly strip of lemon peel twisting between ice and glass. In theory, it simply calls for bourbon or brandy and ginger ale with bitters, which no doubt makes for a refreshing spring cocktail. But employing some of that aforementioned care with a few tweaks can make it even more appropriate for the season. Namely, splitting its base with equal parts brandy and bourbon to give more complexity, while subbing a spicy ginger beer for the often-too-sweet ginger ale to make it both a great cooler for warmer days and a more comforting sipper during the season’s chillier times.” —Guiseppe Santochirico, Head Bartender, Halftone Spirits, Brooklyn

“I tend to crave anything sparkling during springtime. Therefore, the mixed drink I find myself enjoying the most this season is a classic Tom Collins made with Absolut Mango Vodka in place of gin. You can also easily swap out the mango vodka for any other flavor you prefer. This drink was introduced to me by one of my respected mentors, Andrew Willett, who taught me to keep an open mind and helped me realize there is a place for flavored vodka. My preferred recipe is: 2 ounces of Absolut Mango Vodka, an ounce of lemon juice, and 3/4 ounce of simple syrup. Shake with ice, strain into a Collins glass with ice, and top with about 2 ounces of soda water.” —Harry Chin, Lead Bartender, MW Restaurant, Honolulu

“My go-to spring fling patio-pounder is called Esteban’s Sangria. It’s inspired by a tremendously talented artist named Esteban Ramon Perez, who is going to blow up for his work with the medium of textiles. A refreshing Provence rosé sangria made with blanco tequila, pamplemousse liqueur, and freshly squeezed pink grapefruit juice. Sangria is a punch, so I use a pink grapefruit oleo-saccharum as a secret weapon so the citrus really pops. The layers of refreshing flavor flow effortlessly like the waves of fabric or leather in his pieces. Artistically speaking, the two mediums are intertwined as there’s more depth to the final products than meets the eye.” —Roger Gross, Bar Curator, Sherkaan, New Haven, Conn.

“If you’re a cocktail aficionado and have spent any amount of time in and out of the fine drinking establishments around Detroit over the past 10 years, then you will have likely heard of or enjoyed a Skeleton Key. I would say this cocktail is a modern classic, but one that is regionally specific to Detroit. It was created by local bartender Brian Vollmer sometime between 2008 and 2010 while he was working at Roast, a Michael Symon steakhouse in the city’s downtown. I was hired into the bar in the fall of 2011 and immediately became very familiar with this drink; I would go on to make thousands of these during my tenure there. My specs are different from the original, which features bourbon, Fever Tree ginger beer, elderflower liqueur, lemon juice, and Angostura bitters. Instead of ginger beer, I rely on ginger syrup and Topo Chico. And I use a slightly smaller portion of elderflower liqueur. Add 1 1/2 ounces of bourbon, 1/2 ounce of both ginger syrup and elderflower liqueur, and 3/4 ounce of lemon juice to a cocktail shaker with a few ice cubes, and shake well. Strain it into a Collins glass with ice, add Topo Chico, and top with bitters. No doubt, the Skeleton Key is a drink that tells the story of transition. It embraces winter flavors like cinnamon, clove, and ginger — and, of course, whiskey — and brightens them up with spring ingredients like lemon juice and floral liqueur. The initial look and aroma of the drink captures the vestiges of a fading winter but the flavor ignites the palate with a fresh, floral, zippy, and refreshing note, bringing life to the drink and completing the transition of the seasons. It also draws from the foundation of a Kentucky Mule, which is a cocktail I always enjoy during the onset of spring.” —Drew Pompa, Beverage Director, Takoi, Detroit

“Call me basic but I love a good spritz in the shade, with that cool spring breeze hitting with every sip. A beautiful liqueur, sparkling wine, and soda is so simple yet so decadent and refreshing. Aperol spritz is the famous one, and I do prefer a Campari spritz. But a St-Germain spritz has had my attention the last couple years. That combo of elderflower and sparkling wine is the earthy sweetness we all deserve. I’ll gladly have the bubble guts (see what I did there?) after crushing three or four.” —Teddy Martinez, Bartender, Mezcalero LBC, Long Beach, Calif.

“It’s Siesta season for me as soon as the weather warms up. Katie Stipe’s modern classic from Flatiron Lounge is delightfully bright, and I love the touch of bitter. For my personal serve, I love to put it on crushed ice and add a pinch of salt. I’ll build 1/2 ounce of lime, grapefruit juice, simple syrup, and Campari, and 1 1/2 ounces of blanco tequila (I believe the original is up and has 2 ounces of tequila). Give a quick shake with some crushed ice, serve in a rocks glass filled with crushed ice, and garnish with grapefruit slice.” —Meaghan Dorman, Bar Director, Raines Law Room and Dear Irving, New York

The article We Asked 14 Bartenders: What’s the Best Spring Cocktail? appeared first on VinePair.

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[wineanddinosaur]

We Asked 14 Bartenders: What’s the Best Spring Cocktail?

With the arrival of spring, things begin to stir: The bright blooming of tulips and daffodils; the festive atmosphere of farmers’ markets; the exposure of bare skin to the elements. A specific kind of progress can be felt with the return of warmer weather. It raises the spirit, reawakening a confident hopefulness that hibernates all winter.

Spring also welcomes a roster of dependably refreshing drinks that express the season’s sprightliness. They are lighter and brighter tasting, and make the most of fresh ingredients, seeking to capture and celebrate the moment’s flavors. (Spring does have its fair share of cold days, though, and thus some creations will be sturdier and warming, incorporating components prevalent in winter cocktails.)

To ensure we imbibe appropriately through the season, we turned to the experts and asked 14 bartenders across the country to spotlight their favorite seasonal tipples that say, “Spring is here!”

From inventive takes on the spritz to classic tiki cocktails like the Mai Tai, here’s what the experts picked. Drink up!

The Best Spring Cocktails Recommended By Bartenders:

Fiero Spritz

Mai Tai

Bamboo

Pimm’s Cup

Suffering Bastard

Bee’s Knees

Rock, Salt & Nails

Tom Collins

The Horse’s Neck

Mango Collins

Esteban’s Sangria

Skeleton Key

St-Germain Spritz

Siesta

Keep reading for details about all of the recommended drinks!

“My current favorite spring drink is definitely the spritz. I love being able to sip on several of these refreshing, low-alcohol beverages as the weather warms up and we can finally spend some time outside. This cocktail is so dynamic in that you can make it with many different ingredients. The classic Aperol spritz is a wonderful option, but I also like to get creative with it, subbing in different aperitifs and sparkling wines. My current favorite patio crusher is Martini & Rossi Fiero with a splash of blood-orange juice and some Mionetto Prosecco. Adding to the list of benefits for this drink is that it’s easily built in the glass. Bring your ingredients outside to the table and mix away at your leisure — no need to head back inside to make another round!” —Miranda Breedlove, National Director of Bars, Hyatt Lifestyle, Chicago

“By the time spring rolls around each year, I find myself extremely eager to move away from the cold and darkness of winter. I look for a cocktail that, in my mind, seems to jumpstart the warm weather, and helps me cruise into spring with an eye on plans for summer. A well-made Mai Tai is one of the most transportive cocktails I know. When I taste one for the first time each year I know I’m on my way to sunnier days. The complexities of that strong, refreshing, and nutty rum sour (probably chewing on some good pebble ice as well) embody spring in a glass to me. It’s probably my favorite way to follow up my first lawn-mowing of the year.“ —Mattias Hagglund, Owner and Bartender, The Jasper, Richmond, Va.

“One of my favorite spring cocktails is the Bamboo. It was created in the 1890s by a bartender named Louis Eppinger. He was a German working at the Royal Hotel in Japan. It’s a very simple combination of vermouth and sherry, along with bitters. The opportunities for variations are nearly endless because of the diverse styles and types of sherry and vermouth one can employ. A nutty oloroso or amontillado sherry works for me in the cooler months. But as the weather warms, I prefer a more dry sherry like a fino or manzanilla. The bracing salinity that switch gives makes for a very crisp cocktail that still has great depth and nuance. The other half of the cocktail is vermouth. I use Dolin dry but supplement it with a small bit of blanc vermouth as well. The sweetness this adds is subtle but effective. Rounds out the drink and makes it feel more full. Gives it a little dramatic tension. The first Bamboo I tried was made for me by the amazing Abigail Gullo at the Beagle, a wonderful bar that used to be in the East Village. Was immediately smitten! I’d love to batch them on nice days and stroll around our old neighborhood — Red Hook in Brooklyn — with my wife and friends, sipping them from coffee cups.” —Evan Bulchoz, Owner, Brix & Rye, Greenport, N.Y.

“One of my favorite drinks whenever the weather turns warmer is a Pimm’s Cup. I’m a fan of bitter and earthy spirits, and the herbaceous notes of Pimm’s makes for a refreshingly delicious lower-ABV cocktail. I grew up right outside of New Orleans and before moving to Portland, lived in the city for 16 years. A favorite destination for drinks was always the Napoleon House. In fact, my wedding was held at the Pharmacy Museum right by the Napoleon House. We had people running over to bring us Pimm’s Cups during the reception, so they definitely have a special place in my heart!” —Sierra Kirk-Luebke, Co-owner, Cliff’s PDX, Portland, Ore.

“Springtime in Mississippi is short and sudden, so it’s like flipping a light switch from off to on but then somehow the switch breaks on the on position and then comes intense humidity and heat, otherwise known as summer. Since it’s so short, I treat spring almost like a holiday, so that means shorts, sandals, Hawaiian shirts, and tiki drinks. Lots of tiki drinks. My go-to is an easy one that has its roots at the Shepheard Hotel in Cairo, way back during the Second World War. The Suffering Bastard, created by Joe Scialom, calls for brandy and gin, but I typically have more bourbon laying around so the recipe I use is: 1 ounce bourbon, 1 ounce gin, 1/2 ounce lime juice, 1/4 ounce simple syrup, 4 dashes of Angostura bitters, and then topped off with a nice ginger ale, like Boylan’s. To make: Shake everything but the ginger ale in a shaker with ice. Then strain into a Collins glass, add ice, top with ginger ale, and garnish with a mint sprig.“ —Derek Baker, Bartender, Snackbar, Oxford, Miss.

“A classic Bee’s Knees is the perfect blueprint for a spring cocktail. The honey syrup is a great backdrop for cycling in seasonal ingredients (strawberry and rhubarb-infused honey, anyone?), and swapping out the base spirit, gin, for rum or whiskey is a pretty simple way to jazz it up. Now, on colder spring days, there’s nothing like a reposado tequila (I love Teremana for this) with hibiscus, honey, and lemon; the vanilla and caramel notes are just cozy enough, but the hibiscus and citrus hint at warmer days to come. Last, when you get one of those warm sundress days, a navy-strength gin in the classic build is the perfect way to celebrate the season!” —Resa Mueller, Bartender, R&D, Philadelphia

“As a lover of all things vegetal, stirred, and boozy, the new springtime Martini by Stuart Jensen of Brass Tacks, my favorite bar in Denver, really blew my socks off. It’s like a 50/50 Martini amplified with manzanilla sherry, herbal wine and celery-root liqueur. I truly can’t get enough. It’s called Rock, Salt & Nails and features: 1 1/2 ounces of Botanist Gin, 3/4 ounce of both manzanilla sherry and Absentroux, 1/2 ounce of Apologue celery root liqueur, a dash saline, and two dashes Strongwater floral bitters. Stir all ingredients with ice and strain into a Martini glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.” —Alex Jump, Head Bartender, Death & Co., Denver

“Tom Collins! It’s my partner’s favorite cocktail, and I’m addicted to sparkling water, so we almost always have gin and soda laying around. She prefers them as is, but sometimes I’ll add a dash of Angostura bitters or absinthe to mine to spice things up a bit. Or if I’m feeling lazy, gin and soda with a squeeze of citrus does the trick just fine, too. It’s a template that allows for easy tinkering, depending on your mood. Spring and gin go hand in hand as far as I’m concerned. Here’s how we make Tom Collins’ at the bar: 2 ounces of gin — preferably London Dry but Old Tom is great, too — and 3/4 ounce of both lemon juice and simple syrup. Add ingredients to a cocktail shaker with ice and shake briefly but firmly. Double strain into a chilled Collins glass and top with 2 ounces of soda water. Fill with ice. Garnish with a cherry and orange twist.” —Carlo Caroscio, Bar Manager, Backbar, Somerville, Mass.

“The Horse’s Neck is a thing of beauty for its simplicity, but as with all things simple it’s easy to spoil if the ingredients aren’t selected wisely and the drink is executed carelessly. Born in the late 19th century and often forgotten, this drink is essentially a basic Highball whose name refers to the long, curly strip of lemon peel twisting between ice and glass. In theory, it simply calls for bourbon or brandy and ginger ale with bitters, which no doubt makes for a refreshing spring cocktail. But employing some of that aforementioned care with a few tweaks can make it even more appropriate for the season. Namely, splitting its base with equal parts brandy and bourbon to give more complexity, while subbing a spicy ginger beer for the often-too-sweet ginger ale to make it both a great cooler for warmer days and a more comforting sipper during the season’s chillier times.” —Guiseppe Santochirico, Head Bartender, Halftone Spirits, Brooklyn

“I tend to crave anything sparkling during springtime. Therefore, the mixed drink I find myself enjoying the most this season is a classic Tom Collins made with Absolut Mango Vodka in place of gin. You can also easily swap out the mango vodka for any other flavor you prefer. This drink was introduced to me by one of my respected mentors, Andrew Willett, who taught me to keep an open mind and helped me realize there is a place for flavored vodka. My preferred recipe is: 2 ounces of Absolut Mango Vodka, an ounce of lemon juice, and 3/4 ounce of simple syrup. Shake with ice, strain into a Collins glass with ice, and top with about 2 ounces of soda water.” —Harry Chin, Lead Bartender, MW Restaurant, Honolulu

“My go-to spring fling patio-pounder is called Esteban’s Sangria. It’s inspired by a tremendously talented artist named Esteban Ramon Perez, who is going to blow up for his work with the medium of textiles. A refreshing Provence rosé sangria made with blanco tequila, pamplemousse liqueur, and freshly squeezed pink grapefruit juice. Sangria is a punch, so I use a pink grapefruit oleo-saccharum as a secret weapon so the citrus really pops. The layers of refreshing flavor flow effortlessly like the waves of fabric or leather in his pieces. Artistically speaking, the two mediums are intertwined as there’s more depth to the final products than meets the eye.” —Roger Gross, Bar Curator, Sherkaan, New Haven, Conn.

“If you’re a cocktail aficionado and have spent any amount of time in and out of the fine drinking establishments around Detroit over the past 10 years, then you will have likely heard of or enjoyed a Skeleton Key. I would say this cocktail is a modern classic, but one that is regionally specific to Detroit. It was created by local bartender Brian Vollmer sometime between 2008 and 2010 while he was working at Roast, a Michael Symon steakhouse in the city’s downtown. I was hired into the bar in the fall of 2011 and immediately became very familiar with this drink; I would go on to make thousands of these during my tenure there. My specs are different from the original, which features bourbon, Fever Tree ginger beer, elderflower liqueur, lemon juice, and Angostura bitters. Instead of ginger beer, I rely on ginger syrup and Topo Chico. And I use a slightly smaller portion of elderflower liqueur. Add 1 1/2 ounces of bourbon, 1/2 ounce of both ginger syrup and elderflower liqueur, and 3/4 ounce of lemon juice to a cocktail shaker with a few ice cubes, and shake well. Strain it into a Collins glass with ice, add Topo Chico, and top with bitters. No doubt, the Skeleton Key is a drink that tells the story of transition. It embraces winter flavors like cinnamon, clove, and ginger — and, of course, whiskey — and brightens them up with spring ingredients like lemon juice and floral liqueur. The initial look and aroma of the drink captures the vestiges of a fading winter but the flavor ignites the palate with a fresh, floral, zippy, and refreshing note, bringing life to the drink and completing the transition of the seasons. It also draws from the foundation of a Kentucky Mule, which is a cocktail I always enjoy during the onset of spring.” —Drew Pompa, Beverage Director, Takoi, Detroit

“Call me basic but I love a good spritz in the shade, with that cool spring breeze hitting with every sip. A beautiful liqueur, sparkling wine, and soda is so simple yet so decadent and refreshing. Aperol spritz is the famous one, and I do prefer a Campari spritz. But a St-Germain spritz has had my attention the last couple years. That combo of elderflower and sparkling wine is the earthy sweetness we all deserve. I’ll gladly have the bubble guts (see what I did there?) after crushing three or four.” —Teddy Martinez, Bartender, Mezcalero LBC, Long Beach, Calif.

“It’s Siesta season for me as soon as the weather warms up. Katie Stipe’s modern classic from Flatiron Lounge is delightfully bright, and I love the touch of bitter. For my personal serve, I love to put it on crushed ice and add a pinch of salt. I’ll build 1/2 ounce of lime, grapefruit juice, simple syrup, and Campari, and 1 1/2 ounces of blanco tequila (I believe the original is up and has 2 ounces of tequila). Give a quick shake with some crushed ice, serve in a rocks glass filled with crushed ice, and garnish with grapefruit slice.” —Meaghan Dorman, Bar Director, Raines Law Room and Dear Irving, New York

The article We Asked 14 Bartenders: What’s the Best Spring Cocktail? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/wa-best-spring-cocktails-2021/

[papermoonloveslucy]

YOUNG MATRONS’ LEAGUE TRYOUTS

October 2, 1948

"Young Matron’s League Tryouts” is episode #11 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on October 2, 1948.

Synopsis ~ Liz tries to butter up George in hopes that he'll let her try out for the play that the Young Matrons League will be performing.

Note: This episode was aired before the characters names were changed from Cugat to Cooper. It was also before Jell-O came aboard to sponsor the show and before the regular cast featured Bea Benadaret and Gale Gordon as the Atterburys. 

This was the first episode scripted by Jess Oppenheimer. The show moved from Fridays at 9:00-9:30 pm to Saturdays at 7:00-7:30 pm.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cugat) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. “My Favorite Husband” eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cugat) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his  roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz, a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

John Hiestand (Cory Cartwright) served as the announcer for the radio show “Let George Do It” from 1946 to 1950. In 1955 he did an episode of “Our Miss Brooks” opposite Gale Gordon.

Jean Vander Pyl (Ann) is best known as the voice of Wilma Flintstone for the Hanna-Barbera cartoon “The Flintstones.” Coincidentally, Wilma’s best friend was voiced by Bea Benadaret, who will later play Iris Atterbury, Liz’s best friend on “My Favorite Husband.” On radio she was heard on such programs as “The Halls of Ivy” (1950–52) and on “Father Knows Best” before it moved to TV.  She died in 1999 at age 79.

Elvia Allman (Miss Worthingill) was born on September 19, 1904 in Enochville, North Carolina. She started her performing career on radio in the 1920s, as both a storyteller and singer. Allman’s first episode of “I Love Lucy” is also one of the most memorable in TV history: “Job Switching” (ILL S2;E1) in September 1952.  She played the strident foreman of Kramer’s Candy Kitchen. Allman returned to the show as one of Minnie Finch’s neighbors in “Fan Magazine Interview” (ILL S3;E17) in 1954. Changing gears once again she played prim magazine reporter Nancy Graham in “The Homecoming” (ILL S5;E6) in 1955. She made two appearances on “The Lucy–Desi Comedy Hour“ - first as Ida Thompson, Westfield’s PTA director in “The Celebrity Next Door” (LDCH S1;E2) and as Milton Berle’s secretary when “Milton Berle Hides Out at the Ricardos” (LDCH S3;E1) in 1959. On “The Lucy Show” she was seen in “Lucy Bags a Bargain” (TLS S4;E17) and in “Lucy The Babysitter” (TLS S5;E16).  Allman died on March 6, 1992, aged 87.

Hans Conried (Dr. Rhineholdt Schweinkampf, a Psychiatrist) first co-starred with Lucille Ball in The Big Street (1942). He then appeared on “I Love Lucy” as used furniture man Dan Jenkins in “Redecorating” (ILL S2;E8) and later that same season as Percy Livermore in “Lucy Hires an English Tutor” (ILL S2;E13) – both in 1952. The following year he began an association with Disney by voicing Captain Hook in Peter Pan. On “The Lucy Show” he played Professor Gitterman in “Lucy’s Barbershop Quartet” (TLS S1;E19) and in “Lucy Plays Cleopatra” (TLS S2;E1). He was probably best known as Uncle Tonoose on “Make Room for Daddy” starring Danny Thomas, which was filmed on the Desilu lot. He joined Thomas on a season 6 episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1973. He died in 1982 at age 64.

Conried uses a broad German accent as the Psychiatrist, a common trope due to the popularity of Dr. Sigmund Freud.

THE EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “Let’s look in on them now as Liz waits George to come down to breakfast…”

Liz tells Katie the Maid to cook the breakfast, but that she’ll serve it. She’s looking to butter up George for a favor.  

The phone rings and it is Ann asking Liz to lunch. She declines because it is the afternoon of the Young Matrons’ League play auditions. She tells Ann that the famous Hollywood director Anatol Brodney (a former resident of Sheridan Falls) will be in the audience opening night!  The audition notice is in the society column of today’s paper.

In “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25) Lucy and Ethel are anxious to gain membership in a group called The Society Matron’s League if they can pass muster with its haughty examining committee, Mrs. Pettebone and Mrs. Pomerantz. This group is clearly modeled on The Young Matrons League on “My Favorite Husband,” a group that is mentioned in several episodes of the series. Although Lucy always declined to reveal her age, television was a visual medium so the word “young” had to be replaced!

GEORGE: “Are YOU cooking breakfast?” LIZ: “Well, you’re my favorite husband.” GEORGE: “What do you want from me, Liz?”

While waiting for his breakfast, Liz tells George to read the paper, which just happens to be open to the society column. 

GEORGE (reading aloud): “Overheard at tea: People wouldn’t be so incompatible if the men had more income and the girls were more pattable!” 

When George sees the audition notice, he calls the participants jackasses.  Liz was in the play last year, so she takes issue with his assessment. George puts his foot down and won’t let Liz audition. She already knows that this year the play will be John Loves Mary.  

John Loves Mary was a real life comedy written by Norman Krausner that opened on Broadway at the Booth Theatre on February 4, 1947 before moving a month later to the Music Box Theatre for the remainder of its run. It closed on February 7, 1949 after 423 performances. The play won an award for Best Costumes at the very first Tony Awards in 1948. The cast included Max Showalter, who would guest star in several episodes of “The Lucy Show”. The play also served as the Broadway debut of Cloris Leachman, who understudied Nina Foch. In February 1949, just a few months after this broadcast, the film version was released, although it was in production during January and February.  It was known for being the film debut of Patricia Neal, who took the role originated by Nina Foch on Broadway. The film starred Ronald Reagan, who, as President of the United States, would bestow Lucille Ball with her Kennedy Center Honor in 1986. It also featured Paul Harvey, who would play the New York Times art critic on “Lucy is a Sculptress” (ILL S2;E15). Irving Bacon (Mr. Willoughby and Will Potter) is also in the film. .

Liz tells George about the Hollywood director who is going to be in the audience and says she just might land a big Hollywood contract. 

Liz is not the last Lucy character to try out for an amateur theatrical production. In 1963 Lucy Carmichael auditioned for the role of Cleopatra for the Danfield Community Players. She landed the role! 

LIZ: “What has Betty Grable got that I haven’t got? Or Lana Turner?”

Betty Grable (1916-1973) made two films with Lucille Ball when they were both at RKO in the mid-1930s. She married actor Jackie Coogan in 1937 but divorced him in 1940. A pin-up girl, she was known for her shapely legs. In the late 1940s, 20th Century Fox insured her legs with Lloyd’s of London for a quarter of a million dollars. Although she never appeared on the half-hour "I Love Lucy,” the mention of her name alone often stirred Fred’s libido, much to Ethel’s chagrin. In “Ricky’s Screen Test” (ILL S4;E7) Grable is mentioned as one of Ricky’s possible Don Juan co-stars. Her final screen appearance was in a 1958 “Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” playing herself opposite her husband, Harry James.  

Lana Turner (1921-1995) was as famous for her tight-fitting sweaters as Grable was for her shapely legs. She had appeared as herself in DuBarry Was A Lady starring Lucille Ball in 1943. She was mentioned on three episodes of “I Love Lucy” but never appeared on the series. 

Once George has gone to work, Liz quickly phones back Ann and tells her that although George has forbidden it, she is going to the audition anyway. She claims that she isn’t looking for Hollywood fame, but wants to be able to prove to George that she can get it.  

Housewife Liz’s search for fame is a character trait the writers would bring to Lucy Ricardo on “I Love Lucy.” The main difference is that Lucy truly wants to be famous, whereas Liz just wants to prove she has what it takes to get it!

Bachelor Cory Cartwright (John Heistand) drops by to report on his latest girlfriend, listed in his little black book as Mary Johnson, RHRW. The RH means Red Head and the second R stands for Real. (The audience laughs, perhaps knowing that Lucille Ball is NOT a real redhead.)  The final letter is his kissing guide: W is for Wow!  Liz asks if she is listed in his little black book? She is: Liz Cugat RHRWIWG. (Apparently Liz is supposed to be a real redhead). The WIWG stands for “Wish I Were George”!   Liz demurs.  Awww!

Cory lets it slip that he and George are having lunch with Anatol Brodney, who Cory knows from his college days. Liz wants Cory to bring George and Anatol home for dinner so that she can really show off her talent. He promises to try. 

On “I Love Lucy,” the Ricardos and Mertzes also conspire to show off for a visiting Hollywood rep in “The Mustache” (ILL S1;E23). Lucy is a harem dancer, mainly due to the need to disguise the full beard she’s accidentally glued to her face. The Mertzes do an Arabian Nights act complete with snake charming, while Ricky croons ballads.  

This idea would also be part of “Ricky’s Movie Offer” (ILL S4;E5), in which Lucy and the neighbors are sure that Ricky is bringing home a Hollywood talent scout, so they get their acts read. Lucy as Marilyn Monroe, Fred and Ethel as apache dancers, Mrs. Trumbull as a castanet singer, and the grocery delivery boy playing the trumpet!  

At the auditions, Miss Worthingill of the Drama Department of Sixley College (Elvia Allman) is introduced to talk about her acting method. Liz gets up to audition for the role of a matron of 36, although she doesn’t think she can play someone quite so old. [Ball is actually 37 at time!]  The scene involves displaying an array of emotions from laughter to tears, plus chastising a dog who won’t get off the sofa. Miss Worthingill deems Liz a strong contender for the part.

George unexpectedly comes home for some papers and is told by Katie that Liz came home and locked herself in her room. Listening at the door, they hear Liz rehearsing - first crying, then laughing, then barking like a dog. They overhear Liz say the line “Take me in your arms!” and George decides to go in and confront her. Searching the room, he whistles for the dog and looks in the closet and under the bed, naturally finding neither dog, nor secret lover! 

LIZ: “What did you expect to find? The Toni twins?”

Liz is jokingly referring to a series of print ads for Toni Home Permanent that depicted two twins with identical hairstyles and asked which one had the Toni, and which one had the more expensive salon perm. The promotion was so popular that the slogan “Which Twin Has The Toni?” became a part of common parlance. In addition, the Toni name itself became the name for a generic home permanent. The Gillette Safety Razor Company acquired The Toni Company in 1948, the year of this broadcast.  

To hide that she was rehearsing for her final audition, Liz tells George she had a nightmare. Or a ‘day-mare’, since it is daytime.  

A worried George decides to talk to a psychiatrist (Hans Conried) for advice about Liz. Hearing George’s surname, the doctor asks: 

DOCTOR: “Xavier?” GEORGE: “George!  I can’t even hold a tune.”

This is a reference to the Cuban bandleader Xavier Cugat (1900-1990). Lucille Ball’s husband Desi Arnaz was once employed by Cugat and looked at him as a mentor. Although the characters that inspired “My Favorite Husband” were originally named Cugat, it became apparent that there was confusion about the uncommon surname - especially considering the Arnaz / Cugat connection. By the end of 1948 it was decided that the name Cugat would be changed to Cooper to avoid the confusion - and any rumored legal action by the bandleader himself. Coincidentally, when creating the television characters inspired by Liz and George, Lucy and Ricky, they first considered Lopez. However, there already was a Larry Lopez, who was (what else?) a bandleader!  So they became Lucy and Ricky Ricardo.  

George tells the Psychiatrist about Liz’s condition. The Doctor volunteers to come to the Cugat home for dinner to better diagnose Liz. IN order not to alarm her, George tells Liz that he is bringing home an old college chum named Art Jones. Liz naturally thinks it is Anatol Brodney that George is bringing home!  

In “The Inferiority Complex” (ILL S2;E18) Ricky is worried about Lucy’s mental health and also consults a psychiatrist. Like George, Ricky brings him home to observe Lucy. So she doesn’t discover their plan, he calls himself Chuck Stewart, an old friend of Ricky’s.  

Thinking that the psychiatrist is really the Hollywood director, Liz trots out the array of emotions and characters to impress him!  First, a sexy Mae West voice:.

LIZ (ala Mae West): “Hello, boys. I’m certainly glad you came up to see me. There’s a sofa over there, Mr. Jones. Why don’t you get out of that hard chair and slip into something more comfortable?” 

Mae West (1893-1980) was a stage and screen performer who capitalized on her sex appeal and was well-known for her scandalous sexual innuendo. In a 1977 episode of “Donny & Marie” (above) Lucille Ball did her Mae West impersonation yet again!  

Liz immediately switches character to that of a desperate, scorned woman, wildly attacking George for his indiscretions:

LIZ (wildly): “You beat me with a cane and pushed my poor broken body down the stairs!  I don’t care for myself, but you pushed the children after me!” GEORGE: “The children?  I did not!” LIZ (flatly): “Then where are they?”

Liz leaves the room in crocodile tears and the doctor advises daily treatments.  George opens the front door and it is Liz with a shawl on her head, talking like a bleating goat, begging for change. 

LIZ (bleating): “Will you buy a poor old lady’s violets?  I haven’t eaten for a week.”

George rings for Katie, but Liz enters as a Cockney maid. 

LIZ (Cockney): “Alright, alright! I’m comin’ guv’nor. Don’t get on about it!”

When George tells her to quit it, she drops to the floor to become a South seas Native girl! 

LIZ (deep voice): “Me Tondelayo!  Me love white man. You don’t love me?”

During a sketch in “Danny Thomas’ The Wonderful World of Burlesque” in 1966, Lucille Ball wears a leopard print dress and a black wig and struts in seductively saying “I am Tondelayo,” the same words and voice she uses here on “My Favorite Husband” in 1948, 18 years earlier. 

As Liz is prostrate on the floor, the doorbell rings. It is Cory Cartwright, who has with him (as promised) a guest for dinner - Anatol Brodney!  Liz faints. 

Later, Mrs. Worthingill calls and George answers the phone. She tells George that Liz got the part, but George says Liz has given up the theatre for good. Just after George hangs up, Liz, who has been listening on the extension phone, tells Mrs. Worthingill to disregard what George said - she’ll be at rehearsals first thing in the morning!  End of episode!

[fullysowerewolf]

My Likes and Dislikes for Sonic Forces

Likes:

The story, with its dark tone and mostly cohesive narrative, for me ranks up there as one of the best in the series. It’s tied with Unleashed currently as my 5th favorite Sonic story. 

The supporting cast is superb and everyone in it are the most in character they have been since practically forever. Knuckles being the biggest example of this.

The gameplay is good, fun, and enjoyable across all four playstyles, though some are more fun than others.

The Avatar concept and how they were handled in the story with their own character growth arc. 

The character creation is huge and has plenty of clothing options and physical features and is pretty great. Would really like to see it again in a spinoff game of sorts. 

Eggman’s characterization was great and is at his most threatening and darkest in the series. Crusherthedoctor’s recent post on his portrayal explains this point well. 

The voice cast brought their A game and have greatly exceeded expectations. Hopefully they will be able to keep up this kind of performance in the future.

Warren Graff actually did a decent to good job with translation, as both scripts are practically 1:1 with each other, with only a few things left out or mistranslated.

The music is amazing, though I know for some the amount of synth/techno is annoying, personally I think all the tracks are good to awesome. Another thing is how the all of the vocal tracks specifically tie into the themes of the story, which hasn’t been done since at least Black Knight.

Infinite. Just. Infinite. 

The different changes and remixes to classic levels was a pretty cool idea and was done pretty well.

The fact that Forces and Mania are actually connected and tie into each other is a great idea and I hope that Sonic Team keeps doing more in depth continuity things like that. 

Mind control wasn’t a factor or used here and that is a very good thing. Especially in the case of Shadow. 

The Wispons are fun to use and are a big part of why the Avatar stages are so good to me.

The fact that Sega/Sonic Team are actually branching out into story driven DLC for the first time with Sonic, as well as slowly making other characters playable again.

On that note, Playable Shadow.

The character dialogue in the radio chatter mostly as well as in the cutscenes is really enjoyable. Everyone almost always has something important to say that fits with the events of the plot. 

Dislikes:

The story has a moderate case of “Tell, don’t Show”, which brings it down a fair bit. It really could have used a few more cutscenes to really bring the ideas and plot points it was trying to make together.

Levels are too short and needed to be longer.

Classic Sonic didn’t serve much of a point other than to add another playstyle to the game. I know the his addition was probably set in stone long before Mania, but I feel they should have just left him out of it and just had the Phantom Ruby teleport to Forces at the end without Classic.

Sonic and especially Tails characterizations were wack and a bit off at times. Sonic’s is more forgivable since shrugging off (or at least pretending to) mental trauma is sort of his thing. But they still should have made more of a bigger deal about him being captured and tortured and should have shown the effect that had on him. Tails is much worse and this has been going on since probably Unleashed or longer. Hopefully these issues get addressed and fixed in a later story. 

Not enough enemy variety, it was mostly just the same robots throughout the game. There really should have been different robots Eggman had to have made during his reign over the planet. 

The difficulty was markedly rather easy, even on Hard mode. 

Sega needs to not use any more returning levels and bosses after this game, this also includes the Wisps. It was tolerable here, but I don’t think the fandom can take much more of seeing Green Hill, Chemical Plant, the Death Egg, and so on after Forces, same goes for seeing bosses like the Egg Dragoon and the Wisps for the fifth time.  

There wasn’t an option to change the height and body type of the custom characters, which is a damn shame. More species would have been nice too.

The last Infinite boss was a let down. I was expecting Infinite to go really crazy with the Phantom Ruby like he did during the Avatar’s Metropolis City stage, but he didn’t.

The “Is Classic Sonic from the Past or an actual other Dimension?” kerfuffle that still hasn’t been solved.

No (fake) Shadow or Chaos fight.

Why aren’t there more Wispons? I thought that the achievements stated that there were over 50 wispons? Why are there only six? It seems like a cop out to only have six (technically 7) actual wispons and have the rest just be upgrades to them. We could have had a Rocket Wisp rocket launcher or a Cyan sniper rifle wispon.

Misc.:

These are various likes, dislikes, and mehs that I found not too big of a deal to put into the major ones.

D: Wish there was some way they could have incorporated actual, full on voice acting for the custom characters/avatars. With the ability to pick your voice like in Mass Effect. 

M: I wish that the Avatar had a super form, or better yet, a Phantom Ruby powered form to fight Infinite with.

 D: Why do they need to make a fake Metal Sonic? Couldn’t Eggman just use the real one?

D: I wish the forgotten Sonic characters were in this.

D: I wish there were more enemies in the final battle scene besides the known illusions, like other anthros working for Eggman either of their own free will or via force and other robots made by Eggman. 

 L: The return of “Long time no see”

L: That Jackals, Wolves, Dogs, and Bears are now officially canon Sonic species. 

M: The Chaos Emeralds weren’t in the game. Would have liked a brief explanation about why no one used them in the story but it’s not that big of a deal so eh.

M: Dark Sonic wasn’t in it or made canon and neither was Hyper Sonic

M: Cream, Vanilla, and Gemerl weren’t in it.

M/D: Blaze wasn’t in it. They could have found a way to include her in there, I’m sure.

L: Some of Adventure’s plot points were brought up again.

L: That creepy chestburster moment during the final boss.

L: Those creepy giant, twisted Infinite abominations.

D/M: Sonic wasn’t the leader of the Resistance. I still think they could have really made a great character arc for him in Forces if they had made him the leader. But I;m still glad they made Knuckles leader since he got some much needed character rerailment and him being the leader helped with that.

M: No Sonamy unfortunately

L: I like the little cube figure manifestations that appear when ever you have the Asteroid wispon equipped.

D: The final phase of the boss apes too much off of Sonic Colors’ final boss. It’s an okay fight all things considered, but I would have liked it if it had a more unique fighting style. 

M: Some of the locations in the game have been changed from where they’ve been traditionally in Sonic lore, such as Green Hill being in the middle of a continent instead of being in South Island. This kinda irks me but it’s nothing that really ruins the story. 

If I were to give Forces a rating, despite how dumb scores have become and how they’re abused and used arbitrarily by gaming media to put more or less value and worth on a game as a crappy shorthand measuring stick for what people would enjoy, I would give it objectively 7-7.5/10 and for my personal score 8/10. 

It is a fun, enjoyable game. It’s not as good as Generations gameplaywise, but that doesn’t make it unplayable or not enjoyable in the slightest. Don��t buy into the ever constant Sonic Hatebandwagon and give it a shot if you want a high speed platforming experience. If you’re more a Mario style platformer fan, aren’t fond of the boost style gameplay, or don’t like a more serious toned Sonic game, I suggest skipping it.