#its only $14 an hour tho lol

[guinevereslancelot]

first day shadowing at new job went well 🥺

[prismbearer]

I hit 80 for GW2 but I'm going to wait until tomorrow to do the 8th chapter of the personal main story or whatever....

[saintsenara]

i'm laughing irl because a lot of what you dislike about PoA is, i think, why i like it so much. it's sooooo petty!! so much of it is sooo low-level and dumb!! "lucius malfoy throws a pta parent bitchfit because his kid got bitten by some animal in an elective class literally the year after he set a giant murdersnake on the school to murder people, lucius wyd" is a major subplot! the inevitable yearly "snape is up to something dastardly this time we swear" plot gets nipped in the bud bc lupin's like "yeah no he's just giving me my meds, still hate the guy tho d'ya wanna see him in a dress again lmao"! there's time travel but only for the purpose of attending classes! "hermione's cat is collaborating with the alleged main villain" is also a major subplot somehow! hagrid, who got expelled at 13 or 14 and was in jail the previous year, is back and now a teacher! we don't even see the alleged main villain do magic, in a book about magic people at a magic school, until he's confirmed not to be a villain! even with the dementors the stakes are almost entirely personal! and this is right between the genuine horror plot that's CoS and the murder and worldbuilding extravaganza that's GoF! absolute literature, lol. (and tbh I think CoS was a little too dark for most of its target audience of middle schoolers, which may have contributed to how well-received PoA was? anecdotally, i've largely seen that people who read the books as they came out did not like CoS at the time, but liked it a lot more on rereading it as older teens/adults -- might have a biased sample though)

screaming!

look, we all love lucius malfoy strutting into the ministry of magic in an effort to get hagrid fired. you know he spent hours getting his look just right.

we also love sirius keeping crookshanks booked and busy.

i've always been a chamber of secrets ride-or-die, entirely because it's basically detective fiction, which i love. i've never heard anyone say it's too dark for the target audience, but i'll concede i had slightly... wednesday adams-ish vibes as a child...

[4awny]

Sp Study Headcanons that literally nobody somebody asked for:

Kenny:-

actually listens and pays attention in class

but literally cannot study at all if cartman is there

would rather race cars and start fires than study

easily distracted

is kind of 🤷🏼‍♂️ whatever when its exam day

legs spread as far out from the desk as possible

likes to watch other people stress out from the back row

grade? B. people under estimate him

Kyle:-

disgustingly prepared

gets stressed out a lot tho

like when people won't shut up

therefore prefers to study alone

the closer he is to the final exam > the more moody he gets

permanent 😠 face

blames cartman for distracting him

i mean yeah. he does that a lot tbf

is up all night studying despite knowing sleep is just as important

fear of failure maybe?

OK I could go on here

grade? A. predictable. the hard work paid off

Stan:-

doubts himself the whole time

king of procrastination

not completely his fault, always busy doing shit for ppl

thinks he's totally prepared

opens up the first page of the exam paper

immediately forgets everything he ever knew

🤯 lost af

oh wait he does know something

comes out feeling like he let himself down

grade? C. all gd my guy

Cartman:-

this kid will not acknowledge an exam until the day before

then panics like hell

and kyle told him so too

looks over to each friend as if to say HELP ME when everybody opens their paper

obviously no one helps him lol

like? man should have listened

cannot concentrate, thoughts racing, over thinking

leads to inner meltdown

struggles to submit anything worth a pass due to the stress

acts like it was the easiest exam of his life

OK enough lore

grade D. just about.

Butters:-

surprisingly good with numbers

brings a pencil sharpener into the exam hall

and like 4 extra pencils too

is pretty confident

real cocky too. smug is the word

bc he the only mf to actually enjoy exams

looks over at cartman with a 👍🏻

gets a 🖕🏼 in return

grade B+. kid is no dumbass

Craig:-

should probably try harder

doesn't even care about grades

kinda does actually

"let's just get this over with" as he rolls up to the exam hall with his hands in his pockets

😒

pretty average student

writes 'fuck knows' for questions he doesn't know

having good common sense helped him massively

grade? B. nobody knows how he managed it either. mystery

Tweek:-

a lot of pencil tapping

relies on a lot of caffeine

...obviously

sweaty palms

forever looking around at other people

reads the question 10 times

then 10 more times

still doesn't understand so writes nothing.

goes back to the 1st question halfway through

adds ???? next to his answers

doctors handwriting. barely readable.

grade? it's a D. rip

Clyde:-

"test? what test?"

moderately studies...

for the wrong exam

writes notes on his hand before the final

chews gum throughout

It annoys tweek, who can hear it from 14 seats back

always the first to finish

because finishing first means he's better than everyone else

🤡

spends the next half hour doodling circles all over the desk

only cares about the party afterwards anyways

grade?? big fat FAIL

Tolkien:-

actually knows his stuff, bc he covered literally everything

apart from that 1 subject, but he didn't care about it anyway

reads a lot of books, loves literature

sleeps well, eats well

helps his mind combat pre-exam stress

feels pretty confident on exam day, but hides it well

doesn't want his friends to think he's a nerd or anything...

Grade? A+++++. total NERD

[wesslan]

20 questions for writers

thank you @adelfie for the tag<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18! (and one hidden). i did not think it was that many??? thought it was 10 tops, lol

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

272,860

3. What fandoms do you write for?

batman, used to write some dsmp, but now im kinda eeh about it. i also (for some godforsaken reason) have a harry potter WIP thats been sitting in my docs for like two years that i kinda wanna finish, kinda not (jk r*wling suck my dick challenge)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

cards on the table

when in gotham: don’t drink the water

robin radio

o bury me not on the lone prairie

and their dreams they dreamed awake

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try!!!! the number overwhelms me sometimes, but i try to answer when i have the energy! :,)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh god, i mean… i pretty much only write happy/hopeful endings🤠 mayyyybe ‘you have (1) new message’? its not all the way angsty but it’s kind of?? angsty??

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

gee whizz buddy see above and take your pick, really

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have gotten one (1) hate comment and i treasured it dearly until the person that posted it deleted it😭 other than that, nawt really. some people give unsolicited advice/critique, but thats about it

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope. not really my thing

10. Do you write crossovers?

again, not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of! sure hope it stays that way

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yesss!!! so cool! they asked permission, and now my fic exists in a whole other language!!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, and i think i’d be really awful at it. i cant say no to stuff, i cant keep deadlines, and i dont enjoy people being in the kitchen when i cook, so to speak

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

BAYBEY!! you KNOW i was a klance shipper first and a human second when i was like? 14? now tho? i’m shipping myself with sixteen hours of sleep and financial freedom. but also, deep in my heart,,,, charlie and carlisle from twilight. you could have been so beautiful.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

man at this point, who knows what i’ll finish. maybe instant repeater ‘99. i LOVE the concept and the world building. but also i kinda left the fandom,,,

16. What are your writing strengths?

people (including my interactive storytelling teacher) have told me im good at writing distinct characters/realistic dialogue! so i guess that! :,D

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

CONSISTENCY. finishing things. ending up hating what i’ve written like 3 months after it’s done.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

well,,, that’s what i always do. english is another language to me! cop out answer, lmao. but other than that, i guess i could be persuaded to write a few lines in spanish here and there. did study it for 7 years, after all.

overall, i thinks it pretty cool! as long as there is an ez translation somewhere, easy to understand without a translation, or if it’s not done in a way that bi/multilinguals absolutely would not speak B)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh god. percy jackson. it’s still out there somewhere. i forgot my username and password so i’ll prolly never find it (thank god) but yeah. it was solangelo bc i was closeted and emo.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

probably ‘mothman is real and he wants to kill me’. i had a lot of fun with it! i also really like ‘*cocks gun* manor’s haunted’ just because i based it off of the haunting of hill house which is like, one of the best books ever.

that was fun!!! thanks again for the tag! <3 i’m tagging whoever wants to do this, and also (no pressure) @quotidian-oblivion

puss å kram, skumbanan!!❤️

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Thanks to @canadianlucifer for the ships questions :>

MORE aidlyn because I just. Need this for my mental health guys.

Actually I've been thinking about doing stuff for other ships?? But idk let me know if yall wanna see that ^_^

1. Who would ask the other "would you still love me if i was a worm?" And what would the others reaction be?

...You guys know Aiden would ask 💀 He also asks stuff like "would you love me if I was a shoe" and other bullshit. Ash just looks at him like "...what."

2. Who plans the best dates?

Depends on your definition of best. Aiden plans all the cool/exciting stuff and he actually has the money for all the stuff he wants to do with her. Ash's dates are more romantic, if only by virtue that they're in quiet places where they can be alone. Tho neither of them plan dates a lot they just kinda end up alone together lol

3. Who's the best at carnival games?

Aiden's been to a lot of carnivals and he's a good shot with a BB gun! Ash doesn't really like carnivals (overstimulating) but she's good at the fish pond and ring toss.

4. Who drags the other onto rollercoasters?

Aiden LOVESSSS rollercoasters so much, its a great way to get his adrenaline up! He'll ask Ash a lot to go on one too, but he won't force her (rollercoasters are *really* loud, especially all the people screaming, and he wouldn't make her do anything that causes her pain)

5. Who does the most chores?

Ash is pretty strict about chores, and she makes sure any household stuff is evenly split between them, but...I mean, she helps Aiden with his own chores cuz he's really bad at cleaning and stuff 🫠

6. Who gets drunk faster?

At some point in the future: Depends what you mean. Aiden has a higher tolerance but he would also drink WAAAAAY more than Ash ever would, so he would get drunker "quicker", but if they were drinking exactly the same Ash would get tipsy faster (vertically challenged struggles fr 😔)

7. Who watches more reality TV?

Aiden likes all that crap like Big Brother and stuff, watches reruns at night when he can't sleep.

8. Who is more likely to insist their way is the best way, even though objectively its the worse?

Ash is more stubborn than Aiden is but her way is probably waaaay better than Aiden's way 🤡 Aiden might insist for a bit but he also finds arguing to be kinda boring so eventually he would drop it

9. Who believes in ghosts?

Ash doesn't believe in ghosts at all, and Aiden is really into the idea of ghosts and would LOVE evidence, but he also doesn't believe in them.

10. Who texts the other memes?

I don't think Ash has texted a meme to anybody in her entire life. So...Aiden.

11. Who makes the most typos/autocorrect mistakes?

Aiden because he types really fast and he doesn't bother to fix the mistakes lol

12. Who's the nervous flier?

Ash has never been on a plane, and she doesn't like doing stuff that's outside her comfort zone, so she's the more nervous flier. Aiden doesn't like flying but only because it means he needs to sit still for more than an hour and he cant do that shit happily 🤡

13. If they had matching profile pictures would they be cute/funny/weird?

Aiden would beg to match pfps because he's an absolute dork. it can't be anything too weird because like...Ash isn't into that. Would probably be smth really basic like Hello Kitty and Tuxedo Sam or whatever (he's Hello Kitty) if Ash even wanted to do it.

14. Who is better at writing formal emails?

Thank you discord for helping me settle this. We settled on Aiden because his parents/tutor definitely would have taught him how to do that so they could be in contact/to teach him about their job. Ash only does them for school and they end up really short and simple.

15. Who steals the others food?

Aiden always offers Ash his food, so she doesn't even need to steal 🤡 Aiden will do it mostly to mess with her lol

16. Who is more willing to commit murder for the other?

Lol. Guess. :)

17. When their kid is chanting "McDonalds!" Who is joining the chant, who is saying there's food at the house, and who is pulling up to order a single black coffee and leave?

Aiden is joining the chant because he's always up for McDonalds, but Ash is driving and she's driving home 😭

18. Who uses the most slang?

Aiden unironically

19. Who uses emoticons?

Aiden feels a spiritual connection with the smiley face emoticon

20. Who'd slay at the Met Gala?

Um they'd both slay 🤭 But Ash would slay harder I mean have you seen her fits??? I literally wanna steal her closet omg

[borom1r]

2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 12, 14, 18, 20, 22 for lotr from the violence ask meme 😈

OK i have answered 2 already but lets do this thing fuck yea (thank uuuuuuuuuu!!!!!)

3) screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

look its not really a "take" but the amount of people who just post variations of "I don't like Boromir, he's the worst" IN THE BOROMIR TAG is genuinely insane to me. like have ur (incorrect) opinion but keep it out of the tag worstie

7) what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

uhhhh no one thank the gods. ive always disliked Denethor Because of canon. but i will say stumbling across the file index of an old LotR fansite + clicking on files w/ no preview only to find graphics thirsting over Denethor did cause massive psychic damage lmao

8) common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

idk 😭 i dont interact w/ the broader fandom really. i do find the way ppl reduce Pippin to Just a joke character in fanon insufferable tho

9) worst part of canon

BOOK!FARAMIR + HIS MIDDLEMEN SHTICK MY WORSTIE.

also ngl i do find the Aragorn/Arwen romance....... Weird. like I'm far from averse to "love at first sight" so long as it comes with the recognition that it's really more infatuation + true love takes work. and there's the fact Aragorn fell head over heels for an image of Lúthien, and Arwen's heart did not turn towards him until Galadriel dressed him up in elven finery. not to mention she was "not yet weary of her days" when Aragorn dies + has to die "whether I will or I nill" like she. wastes away? slowly alone in Lothlórien.

like idk [Aragorn kinnie voice] that's my sister, man but all that aside I do think.. Arwen deserved better? I like that the movies made her more active + I do wish she'd actually been there at Helm's Deep bc it would've been fun to see her and Éowyn bond but yeah. the vibes were off with that whole situation imho

12) the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

huh. does Théodred count? i feel like he's kind of a blank slate so fandom can just kinda run wild with him but i do genuinely enjoy writing him + find that there are solid implications for at least a friendship between him + Boromir (if not more). i mean, Boromir got a Rohirric shield from someone

14) that one thing you see in fics all the time

ok th implication here bein its sth that bothers me which thankfully i pretty much only read Aramir or Faramir/Éomer fics soooo theres not much??

i think the only things that RLLY get to me + they aren't THAT popular trope-wise (or ive been rlly good at avoiding them lmao) are fics that 1) make Boromir overly aggressive or 2) completely woobify Faramir

+ tbh the Faramir one bothers me more actually. that is a grown ass man and captain of the rangers of Ithilien.....................

18) it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

HRM. again idk :3 <- blissfully not interacting w the broader fandom + only interacting w/ ppl w correct takes on Boromir + Rohan

(tentatively i need to start following more ppl i see some of yall in my notes + i shld follow. sorry im like a nervous dog u need to coax out from under the porch lol)

20) part of canon you found tedious or boring

side-eyeing my copies of the Histories. i need to finish those. eventually.............

22) your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

ignores?????? nothing i think (thankfully lmao) but i will say there is SO much detail in the films that it makes me INSANE. ik we literally just talked abt this in DMs lmao but i could sit n talk abt LotR costuming for fucking HOURS the films were SO stunning and the clothing alone reveals sooooooo much abt the characters i think its a super underrated vehicle for character analysis :3

[dukeofdelirium]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "dukeofdelirium "?

Oh lord. Fav fanfics? Idk if I could even come up with 10.

I don’t really read fanfic that much these days unfortunately, mostly bc I haven’t rlly had time with my current job. I do write fanfic on my AO3 though (but my updating is random bc I work a lot). You can find me on AO3 at dukeofdelirium

I have multiple ongoing fanfics, including a Death Note/lawlight one that I’m writing the 2nd chapter for when I have free time.

As for my all time fav fanfics? Ummmmmmm

1) Genius Is a Curse by Bloodshot Eyes both on ao3 and fanfiction.net.

This is a DN AU where Light never finds the DN. I will say it’s very heavy on mental illness and things like that, and ppl might find the content triggering so I would read with caution if this is the case for you. It’s a fanfic that I still think about to this day and that I’ve reread maybe 5 times in the last 14 yrs. Something about it rlly stuck with me and I still think about it all the time.

2) The Hinterland Doctrine aka Those Who Stand For Nothing Fall For Anything by Halfpromise both on ao3 and fanfiction.net

We all know where we were when this shit dropped lmfao. This is one of the most iconic death note/lawlight fanfics ever written and just so you’re aware, it’s almost 800,000 words. It has its own tv tropes article and everything 😂 I remember reading this fic in highschool and it had me fucked up in all sorts of ways. I’ve been thinking about rereading it bc I haven’t read it in years but I remember how much I loved it. It’s also an AU where Light is a politician, I’m not telling you anything else 🤫

3) motion picture soundtrack by lowlightt on ao3

this author…. This AUTHOR…. Nahhhhhh their writing makes me actually insane I’m serious. Me and my bestie kept sending their fics back and forth in our group chat and we were literally quoting the fics and going crazy until like 4am for multiple nights in a row 😂 see I’ll do it right now. IT’S VIOLENCE, THIS KISS! god that knocks the wind out of me 🤣

4) Drag You Down by chocomd on ao3

This is a Katara x Aang long fic where they break up and eventually get back together. I rlly love this author and I’ve read most of their works. I recommend all their stuff, especially Midnight Meditations and Without Water which are both one shots I believe? Don’t quote me on that tho

The only other fics coming to my mind are fanfics that my friends have written. Like I said, I don’t rlly read too much fanfic these days and when I do read them, I am very selective and picky about it. For a fic to hold my interest and actually be memorable, they rlly have to scratch a highly niche itch in my brain lol. I’ll link some of my besties fanfics if anyone wants to check them out :)

5) Golden Hour by FuelMyDelusions on ao3

This is a Jacob x Bella longfic and a Breaking Dawn rewrite (thank god cuz we all know it needs that) and I’m WAITING FOR BESTIE TO UPDATE 🙄 jk I can’t talk cuz I know she’s waiting for me to update my shit too 😔🤚🏻

6) Aurora - A New Dawn by poizonivory on ao3

This is another twilight Jacob x Bella longfic that is fixing the hot mess that Breaking Dawn aka Smeyer Hell created. I love this fic so much 👹 you’ll catch me in the comments acting weird

Anyway lol, I can’t think of any other fanfics at the moment. Feel free to shoot me other asks if you want, but yeah I don’t rlly read too many fics these days except for what my friends write and stuff that rlly catches my attention.

And to answer your last question, there isn’t any particular story or meaning behind my username. I’ve just had the username for years and so I use it for practically everything. My URL used to be different over a decade ago when I joined tumblr (I was a 100% death note blog at the time) but then I changed it to dukeofdelirium so I’ve kept this username for many years 😋✌🏻

[minquiec]

since you were kind enough to like the song i recommended you, i wanted to send you more ZZZ items i found useful. i have a distany memory of you saying you wanted to learn more about ZZZ's lore before developing more of your OC that you ship with Billy Kid and i have provided two videos for you to potentially help you out! no worries if you dont want to watch either for any reasons, all optional obviously. im just trying to be helpful with what is p rapidly becoming either a hyperfixation or a special interest, and i love the content youve made so far about it!

(video 1:) https://youtu.be/WaW6Sy8o6dI?si=ldFSS7w9qLFaMig2

this (⬆️ video 1) is a video that explores the lore about ZZZ so far without going into spoilers. i hope there will be a part 2 that does include spoilers at some point. but, as is, this is really interesting. and really succint at just 14 minutes

(which i find to be short, but all the other ZZZ lore and theory videos i have seen are all even shorter (guess there isnt much to lore to unpack so far, no matter how much i want to have everything ever in ZZZ all analyzed and explained in one video already as is). so this is both a baby and a biggie. but i like how little guessing at what could be in this video, as we instead mostly analyze what is currently in-game, is my point)

(video 2:) https://youtu.be/mR0s11XrSlU?si=6FYAUtF6iq7OxBod

and this (⬆️ video 2) is a video that compiles all the cut-scenes so far (it was posted within the last week) of the animated scenes, the comic-book-scenes, and other voice-acted scenes within ZZZ so far. it's very long. but ive been watching it in pieces over the past few days and have found it fun, but that's just me. im on hour 7. wild that there is THIS many scenes in a video of an app-game, in a video that doesnt even include any gameplay no less lol

but yeah! watching through these two videos have helped me understand ZZZ better and develop my own ZZZ OC. im still looking into lore and theory videos about ZZZ that aren't fully based on conjecture, and if i run into any more then i can let you know? only if you want tho. i dont wanna infodump unwarrantedly lol

hopefully, we will eventually learn Billy lore. do you have any theories or hcs about Billy yet?

i know his wiki confirms he is fully robot, just one who passed The Forbidden Fruit Test, but i was so convinced before that he used to be human lol and now i have a lot of hcs and curiosities about why he exists and who made him, but my biggest focus is the obvious "ohhh this bitch is functionally immortal, huh? he's going to outlive all his teammates unless he's killed or something" element. i wish we knew more about the Starlight Knights as part of said Billy lore, but as is i hc theyre like Voltron or outerspace Power-Rangers so that it can explain part of Billy's interest as then in part due to them using robots to save the world. maybe one or more of them IS a robot or cyborg even, idk lol

but i digress. i hope you have a good day!! 👋

OOOO THANK U FOR SENDING ME THESE that first one was insanely helpful 😭😭 bc half the time while I'm playing the game I zone out and just end up missing dialogue JAJDJS

Dw about infodumping JAJDJS I practically do that everyone bc I can't learn to shut up but YES FEEL FREE TO SEND MY WAY it's always a bit frustrating when a media is new cause there's just not that much confirmed information 😭 so hopefully we'll get more lore soon 🙂‍↕️

I'm not sure if you're seen but there's a character teaser released by hyverse where he talks abt being made from old technology and used to be part of a gang on the outer ring of new eridu (??) there's been some speculation it could be a new upcoming faction called sons of calydon since the insignia on their back is somewhat similar to the one on billys (?) but that's what I've seen other people speculate

I think he also talks abt being made as a combat android but its not clear who made him exactly or his exact purpose 🤷‍♀️

As for the starlight knight aspect from my personal opinion I think it's to play into his childish personality almost by giving him a silly interest akdjsk THIS PART IS A HEADCANON but in his teaser he also talks about 'gaining a taste of freedom' so I'm assuming he enjoys the show bc it's kind of him indulging in this freedom he's found if that makes any sense IDK KEFNKWKSN cause he's a silly character so they gave him some silly traits to make him an enjoyable character :]

But yea that's what I think so far I HOPE THEY CAN RELEASE MORE CONTENT SOON IM SO IMPATIENNTTT JAJDJJJD

This is the character teaser if you haven't seen already ⬇️⬇️

[wednesdaytoo]

@coffinbutch tagged me for this! 15 questions + 15 friends! (coffinbutch you are so brave for doing all 15 tags. im gonna take the coward's way and ask any mutual to consider themself tagged if they want to do it!)

long under here

1. Are you named after anyone?

yea! im named after my abuela who died waaay before i was born

2. When was the last time you cried?

3 days ago

3. Do you have kids?

nope! i work with kids (teenaged) and they're fine, i enjoy them, but that's plenty of Kid for me -- i don't need to have my own in my home everyday. id love to be a lesbian uncle tho! which i already kno is Not gonna happen from either of my brothers, so my only chance is my wife's younger sister haha (we were just talking abt this yesterday lol)

4. What sports do you play/have played?

hahha i don't think i've ever played a sport like Officially, like outside of PE classes. i like badminton tho, and B and i are trying to learn how to play pickleball (we suck)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

i suppose on occasion i sarcast

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

hair & clothes? face? im a simple guy

7. What's your eye color?

the inner part of my irises are yellowish-brown and the outer edges are grey-blue. ppl dont usually notice it unless theyre quite up close tho. from a few feet away i think they look grey and that's what i'll usually mark for eye color, or blue if that's not an option

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

i could go for either, but i think i lean slightly more toward scary movies, especially bc i love vampire movies so much. like when we watch a dracula movie and u have one of those "the monster is defeated! hooray!" endings, does that count as a happy ending movie?? we root for drac tho so it's a let down!

9. Any talents?

idk im pretty good at whistling !

10. Where were you born?

california

11. What are your hobbies?

movies, video games, insect/arachnid related things (catching, collecting, pinning, reading abt, etc), sewing/embroidery when the mood strikes me, reading (trying to get back into it at least!), listening to music/discovering new bands, sorting/cataloguing things

12. Do you have any pets?

3 cats (hopey, bullets, and cocoa) + a baby tarantula (avocado) <3

13. How tall are you?

5'6.5" or 168 cm!

14. Favorite subject in school?

in high school my favs were probably trigonometry and ceramics

in college i'd say science (esp entomology, ecology, botany, and astronomy) and foreign languages (i took french, japanese, ASL, and spanish)

15. Dream job?

see one of the above hobbies and then pay me $100/hr to do it :-))

no but fr even tho my current job has its annoyances, it's usually so chill. some days i just text B from work like "here's a bracelet i made today" "made u a candle today" "it was slow and i mostly just read in the library" "i drew a cute poster." two weeks ago we came in for a couple hours to decorate little pouches with custom vinyl designs on our new cricut. the next day we went roller skating lmao. even the actual "work" is enjoyable (i help students w/ their schoolwork, mostly math, which is fun to me, or entering info into forms/spreadsheets, also kind of fun to me bc i can listen to music while i do it). buuut i dont make a lot of money. if they paid me $100/hr and gave me some benefits, i'd be set!

[oshi-nakadapiroki]

Nakada Hiroki Channel Nakacha no Ma #47 2023.10.31 Notes [Eng translation]

≫ Intro:

For some reason, he's got the stream set to start at 08:10PM and not the usual 08:00PM (he doesn't know why)

It's Halloween! 🎃👻🦇

He hasn't seen alot of ppl out and about, but then again the evening has only just begun

He thinks it's probably best to relax at home on Halloween

Apparently Shinjuku Halloween is worse than Shibuya Halloween (either way they're both hell)

He went once before the pandemic for work-related reasons and it was hell on earth, the traffic regulations were really bad (was it during that time he wore the giraffe headpiece? Unsure if it was work-related tho)

He thinks as long as people have fun and are careful, it's all fine

He will not be leaving his house at all tonight lmao

He's got a stuffy nose (as always)

Someone in the chat offers him 4000¥ to show his face already

He tells us it's gonna be a no-face livestream this time

We're bidding now so someone offers 14 000¥ lol

Apparently he didn't get the 4000¥ from the Osaka bday event (?!) wtf Beethoven

He's wearing black bunny ears!

He was looking for horns but he got them mixed up with the bunny ears. He looks cute either way! And it suits since he's the year of the rabbit

He was so embarrassed to get it because there was a high school girl next to him buying the same thing 😭 He was questioning his sanity since he already looked like a suspicious person lmao

This month's beer: Premium Malt's Limited Design 500ml 🍺

He's having blue cheese with honey again 🧀🍯

He doesn't know where he bought the handcuffs for his bday event (probably mail older? they were pretty heavy)

After he had finished his bento, he went back to his hotel for a moment, then rode the ferris wheel, then got back to the event just in time for the evening part (he's so マイペース) 🎡

He didn't buy any souvenirs in Osaka

He wants to cut today's free part of the stream short since he'll be doing a gaming stream afterwards

It's been so long, he barely even remembers how to log in on his gaming PC

He said he was gonna play Only Down next but when he had logged into Steam, he had to put all of his information into his account again (not just card information but address etc)

He doesn't remember his card number, just the security code 😂

He says it's no good to engage in fraud/scamming (no one mentioned it in the chat so idk where he got that from??)

Oh ok he's been seeing it around on Twitter apparently

He doesn't smoke or gamble (glad we got that out of the way lol) ( ´Д｀)yー~~

Someone in the chat asks what he thinks of a girl who smokes and he says he doesn't approve nor disapproves of it

Its each to their own, much like with him and his drinking

It's better not to smoke but he doesn't think it's a good idea to take cigarettes away from the ppl who do smoke. As long as it's in moderation, doesn't cause trouble for others and we're considerate, he thinks it's fine 🚬

Whether it's about ordinary cigarettes or e-cigarettes, he doesn't know the circumstances of the situation, but he think each person has their own reasons for it

"'What about a woman who drink 24 h/day?' Sleep. Go to bed. What are you fighting that's got you drinking for 24 hours? w"

"From my own experience, I don't think I could have done that even when I was young.. No wait, I did. I think I did" (Sendai flashbacks lmao)

≫ Furuba:

Again, Furuba probably had the shortest rehearsals he's ever had in his entire acting career so far

There were some scenes that were cut apparently

He wishes he could talk about them but he's not gonna get into it since he doesn't want to stream too late into the night on a weekday

… he says, but still talks about it lol

It seems he drew the short straw among whose character's scene to cut since they had to fit as much content as possible into that 3 hour run-time 😭

≫ Tensura:

It's been two and a half months so he doesn't remember it as much, he's been working on such different works and meeting so many different ppl since

Although it was the first time he and Miyashita Yuya co-starred, they got along the best

He really liked him and they had alot of drinks together

He thinks they had very similar personalities and ways of thinking, and that's why they got along so well - he clarifies that this is all one-sided though

I think he said seikaku (性格; personality) but someone in the chat wrote they thought he said seiyoku (性欲; sexual desires)???

"Wouldn't it be weird if we had the same sexual desires? I don't know about Yuya's sexual desires"

He's the type of senpai who he doesn't have to be so considerate of because they get along well even when they talk in an unofficial setting

The chat is gaslighting him into believing he actually said seiyoku

"How many times am I gonna say 'sexual desire'? This is gonna be in the archives so I gotta be careful. There's probably an army of people out there who are gonna take advantage of this" ww This man doesn't want to be caught in 4K 😂

His bunny ears keep being out of frame

It's been a long time since he saw Mahiro (he's doing Osomatsu on Stage rn)

Hiroki also wanted to be in Osomatsu but he was told it was impossible due to his age 😭

Su~su~su~su~sumairu~

Apparently the choreographer for the Tensura closing theme was the same one as the one in SekaNeko!

He thought it was gonna be difficult for Benimaru and Souei to fit the last dance part but it was alot of fun in the end

The make-up departments for Tensura/Suehiro/Furuba and their routines were all completely different; even if they all had the same base (his face), he thinks they were completely different

The wig and make-up artists all belong to the same team

He particularly liked the red tear drop for Benimaru's make-up 🩸 Maybe it should have been a bit more red though

The line was very fine and every day it looked a bit different

It was fun wearing hakama and wielding an ōdachi 🤗 He thinks having a sword is like having a friend ww

It wasn't difficult to wear the hakama - that is, if you learn the correct way to walk while wearing it

Benimaru's hakama is double layered after all and the haori (?) on top

The chat mentions how his sandals flew in one performance and the scabbard in another performance

It seems he ripped the hakama at two different occasions (as seen in senshūraku, but then also during the final battle scene with the Orc Disaster?)

He's grateful to Ogi Hana's performance 👏

omg apparently Hakurou's hair came off in one performance too?? He grabbed it mid-fight and let it hang off the sword as a charm

≫ Furuba:

Keeping the theme of mishaps, there was also the incident during Furuba where the juzu beads got scattered on stage (I'm assuming from Kyo's bracelet when Kazuma ripped it off in the beginning?)

Apparently they were torn two days in a row (thankfully no one tripped on them). Perhaps they acted as a substitute for protecting him 📿

Although Aya did trip backwards in the second to last performance (when he bumped into one of the ensemble members) 😭

There seems to have been a miss in communication because Hiroki didn't think he was gonna be there when he was

But he handled it like a gymnast doing a backflip

It was the first time he's ever bumped into someone so beautifully 😂

For a moment, everything went dark for him

"Black hole 👐"

He's back to saying he's gonna cut the stream - then proceeds not to cut the stream 🫠

He's thinking if he should play Duck Simulator for the gaming stream instead so he can keep talking rather than play

Someone in the chat says it's fine if he does a smartphone game instead but apparently he can't cut the mic if he's on smartphone and he doesn't want to in case he needs to burp lmao (what a gentleman)

So he can't even go to the bathroom if he's on his phone

(Sidenote but it looks like he's checking notes in front of him 🥺 he's so good for taking notes in preparation for the monthly livestream)

≫ Suehirogari:

Hiroki's mum's oshi is Hyuuga!! He doesn't remember if she said it specifically but he thinks she said something about a small girly looking boy with a bob haircut (it wasn't Matsui lol) It revealed a side of his mum even he himself didn't know about 🤭

He's on good terms with Nagata Kouhei, they go have food sometimes

Hiroki mama sent him an update on LINE the other day when Kishou Hongi was on TV!

"No one came to the birthday event after watching that, right? Then you wouldn't have slept"

He's surprised with the amount of Chaba in the chat who watched it at the time - he wants us to go to bed

Then again, he gets that it makes you excited when its shown on TV, it's the 8th anniversary after all

It was shown on Nittele Plus which he's been broadcasted on before back in the day (Ikemen bijo to sugosu yoru in 2014? He was so baby in that one.. Then again, Resistance Eleven was also broadcasted on CS Nittele)

≫ Goods update, poor time management etc:

He's got honey dripped on his fingers so now he's all sticky 🍯 He sniff

Happy Birthday to everyone born in October 🎉

He's had quite a few people at events telling him that they share the same birth month

He's happy to be with everyone in October so there's no doubt that it's gonna be a wonderful year

Then there's alot of fun events coming up in November and December 🤫

"'That's adequate www' That's the type of channel this is"

He thinks it's good to do things leisurely instead of just showing the good parts like many other channels, so even though some ppl might not like it, this is the kind of channel he wants to have

"There's no point in showing just the good parts. I'm open to showing both the good and bad parts. If you'd ask me, I think channels that only show the good parts are boring"

He's more attracted/trustful of ppl who are more likely to say things that other ppl wouldn't

Ah, photobook - necklace - meerkat (iykyk)

Glico is not part of his branding lol

He feels like he's a fraud for just coming up with repeated excuses; i) the photobook has been postponed, ii) he's sad to report that the meerkat probably won't be made into merchandise, and iii) the timing hasn't been right for the necklace and he doesn't want to make it unless it's in December or March (Christmas or White Day)

He's very particular about it 🥺 That's why it's been two years in the making

There were lots of different reasons for him to quit his former agency but he tried to make these happen back then already

He's not trying to badmouth his former agency, it's just that when an environment changes, you have to start from scratch again

After all, he was reunited with the Beethoven duo for the first time during his Osaka bday event the other day and they were able to create good memories together

He apologizes that he's not good at making people laugh when he's livestreaming (not true)

He thinks his ordinary self is really not that interesting or funny

Again, he's bringing up how bad he is with keeping a time schedule 😂 Throwing everyone from Okayama under the bus again lol

At this point, the second part of the stream is only gonna be 8 minutes 🤣

Lenient Hiroki but only when it's concerning friends and those he's close with, he wouldn't be causing the same troubles when it's in a work-setting

Guess he used to be an unbelievable student lmao

If he said to meet up with his Okayama friends in the early afternoon, they'd eventually meet in the evening

"Time moved so slowly when we were kids. Time may be finite, but back then, I lived my life thinking that it was infinite"

Naturally, all this only goes for the people who you used to see every day, never for the ones who you see occasionally or if they've travelled a long way to see you - if that's the case, he'll be on time for sure

≫≫ 2nd half of the stream:

In the last Nakacha, he told us that Akashi and Chougi shared the same make-up artist, but there's one more!

Apparently there's one costumer for every two Touken danshi

He shared costumer with Hizen this time

Ryouga and Kouhei live in their own little world and he thinks they're very cute

Let's do a second kanpai now that the stream is cut 🍻

He's wearing his rainbow striped Adidas pants tonight 🌈

This month's second beer: Premium Malt's Kaoru Ale Limited Design 500ml 🍺

The second one tasted completely different from the first one! He's surprised to see PreMalt's having such different tastes even though it's the same brand

The chat points out it's better to wipe it before opening

He's embarrassed his stomach is making noises since he hasn't had dinner yet 🥺

He had sandwiches and some good sushi in Osaka

It wasn't that there were no bentos for the bday event, just that there was one missing. He thought the staff were just messing with him at the time and that's why it came to mind when he did the weird corner in the second part of the Tokyo event

Since he didn't know the reason for it, he couldn't help but feeling out of place

Another tummy rumble

He didn't notice that they had spelled his name wrong on the screen (博喜 became 博貴)

He's still thankful for everyone who participated in such a short amount of time

Also, he's reached the age now that even if he realises he's being made fun of, he doesn't think too much of it

≫ English corner:

"Rose is sexy flower!"

He didn't know that bara was rose 😭

His English vocabulary is limited in the first place so the words he come up with on the spot are unexpected

This time it was very difficult for him, he thought he was gonna lose his mind halfway through

His English is limited but he still believes that he manages to get his point across if he ever was to go abroad (oh sweetie)

Someone in the chat mentions how he's even appeared in UtaPri yet he never remembers the word

He's gonna remember it from now on, if only the word is gonna come up in the future (we've heard small King for so many events lately so I'm pretty sure it's gonna appear again 😂)

The most frequent words have probably been ouji (prince) and aru hi (one day)

He doesn't know exactly what pit in is but he thinks it's along the lines of got there/getting there/going there (he doesn't think he should look into it, then it'd be meaningless)

He knows old is furui but not mukashi mukashi (once upon a time/a long time ago)

He's learned pit in from Formula 1.. but in the next breath he says he's never watched F1

Shoutout to Toyoko Inn

He's saying "nanananana" (catchfrase by Jp comedian Joyman) then says he mimicked him one time at rehearsals (which rehearsal? we'll never know) even though he wasn't even trying to do an impression but it received lots of laughter

"It's a battle between actors, when the unreasonable request of doing something on the spot comes up"

≫ Furuba:

He wanted to talk about Tori-san, then he keeps on saying -san -san -san

The chat mentions unrelated words also ending in -san like Ohta Isan, sekaiisan, Ryukakusan

Someone asks where he heard of Shukipi (song by idol group =LOVE) which he referenced as part of the adlib aikotoba when entering Ayame's shop (10.14 matinée performance); it was not intended to be part of the play since it's not in the source material, he was just joking around during rehearsals

It seems he had gotten the OK for from the producers beforehand to reference the title of the song

He's unsure if he did the correct lyrics tho

Apparently Sashihara Rino (producer of =LOVE, previous member of AKB48) came to see the play that day! (Souma Isuzu's actress Nogiuchi Iori is part of =LOVE. Additionally, Honda Tooru's actress Yoshida Ayano Christie is also part of Nogizaka46 which is the official rival group of AKB48 🫢)

Someone asks him how long it took to make the Aya doll but first, as for the "Yuki-chan who loves his brother 100%" cardboard standee, he drew it all by himself after everyone had left the performance hall for the day

He stuck around until closing hour

Since he had about an hour off-stage for each day's performance, he had alot of thinking time

Then the cardboard standee was destroyed in an instant lol

He thought it would've been nice if it had been destroyed by Yuki himself but Kyo is Kyo after all

"The cardboard was then thrown apart without further discussion"

He was shocked since the cardboard was actually pretty hard

He went to Tokyu Hands by himself to buy the cardboard specifically, then he hired a car to have it delivered (!!) because there was no way he was bringing 180cm cardboard on the train or in a taxi - and he paid it all by himself

It wasn't Aya who fell to his knees on stage, it was all Hiroki 😂

They would pay it if he asked them to, but he did it because he wanted to

He thinks it'd be uncool to have the others pay for every single thing

It might have been better if he spent his money on other props since it was finished off with a single blow, but as long as that moment leaves a lasting impression on alot of people, he thinks it's worth the time and money spent

"Its value is not in the time it takes, but in how much it remains in people's hearts"

The chat points out how he still wanted those 4000¥ at the event 🤣

He laughs over the fact that they had all said there was no way they'd be able to break it beforehand, but then it went just like that lol

Kyo just went for a full power lariat punch

But that's one of the things he likes about Shouhei, he goes all in

He kept forgetting to have the ensemble get off-stage before the others came back

He also went to Nitori and bought a pillow made of bird feathers and a body pillow?? He didn't get to use the body pillow this time tho

He didn't want to tell the shop staff he wasn't planning on using the pillows for their intended purpose when he asked for as cheap as possible

He's been questioning himself alot for a long time; "what am I doing?"

As for the scene where he held the kabutomushi (Japanese rhinoceros beetle), he doesn't even remember how it came to be

It had only been a few days since they had gotten to the rehearsals (they hadn't even gone through the rehearsals or practiced yet) and on the second day, they were already in costume

He's never done anything in that condition before

They gave him free rein to do pretty much whatever he wanted

He's not sure why he came out with the beetle in that really moving scene but it received lots of laughter during rehearsals

Hiroki himself barely even realizes that he held a beetle, he just wanted to convey that specific line

It was actually a stag beetle apparently - it might have been because Tooru called it a stag beetle in another scene. Maybe Ayame had picked it up first then let it escape

Needless to say, none of this was in the script lol

At one of the performances, there was a man in the audience who did a snorting laugh so Hiroki almost lost his composure

(Note: snort laughing is butappana (ぶたっぱな/豚鼻) which uses the characters for 'pig' and 'nose')

The spotlight had only just hit him but he hadn't said any lines yet

He was happy to receive that response even though it wasn't the right timing

"If I'd laughed in that scene, I wouldn't be a professional anymore"

In that sense, they're really making the performances together with the audience, it's different every time

≫ Tensura and Suehiro:

He mentions snort laughing senpais like Shunri and Yuya - and Yuya truly is a pig nose ww

At the very end in Tensura when Geld begs for forgiveness from the Ogre clan, apparently Yuya found it very funny that his pig nose was basically pressed into the ground 🐽

He seemed to have been struggling quite alot with that nose (not to mention they had to get rid of the tusks before the performances had even begun)

B*z*n and Ts*r*m*r* had the same make-up artist for Suehirogari 🤫

Unless their make-up sessions didn't fall within the same timeslots, he doesn't know who had their make-up done together with who

Someone asks "what about Michu-niki?" and he thinks they meant Murata Mitsu since they said -niki (from aniki; older brother) but they actually meant Hayashi Mitsuaki (Onimaru's actor)

He's not sure if he should say this but he can't help but think Mitsuaki looks like Menjo Kentaro (!!)

He thinks they're both wild, old-fashioned, a bit clumsy, close in age (Mitsu is born in 1990/10 and Menjo is 1990/11), and have similar face structure

He's unsure if he should say things like these but since he's not saying anything bad, moreover he thinks it's positive, it doesn't have to be a secret - everyone go tweet it 👌

He hasn't seen Menjo in a while and he misses him 🥺

He burp

The burping powder from the Osaka event was actually quite tasty (iirc it tasted of apple?)

≫ Bday event and Chaba:

He's thankful for all the gifts he received at the bday event 🎁 The ones from Osaka have yet to arrive though

He's gonna open them all later, not on livestream though

He's got a cardboard box of gifts and letters on the other side of the room

"I wonder if it's okay to be this happy? 'Show us the cardboard box' - I can't just do that, can I? I can't show every single person. To me, everyone is equally important, and I don't want to show it to anyone else. Please let me enjoy it on my own"

Someone asks if he actually read the letters and he responds, "you don't think I read them? That hurts" 💔

He does remember Ochappachans' faces

If he's completely super honest though, he does not remember names. If one's icon and face matches though, he'll remember

He would like more of us Chaba to have our faces as icons

He might remember if for example, you say your name and show your icon while taking cheki together

He might remember some by their no-face icons though but not all - he will not tell lies

Naturally, he will not remember the faces of first-time event visitors

"For newcomers, it may not be very pleasant words to hear, but the ones who have been supporting me for a long time often tell me how many years they have been with me. And that makes me happy, and of course I'll remember it. In the end, those newcomers are going to be the same way in a few years. So I'm hoping that as that happens, there will be more and more of that, more and more albums in my head, and I'm hoping that we'll get to that point"

He's sorry he's really bad with names but he's trying his best

From his point of view, it makes him happier if someone remembers his face rather than name

"It's not a competition, and it doesn't mean anyone's inferior. You are all important people to me. There is no difference. There is no difference, but the fact that they have been supporting me for a long time is just a fact. That's still a wonderful thing and it makes me happy. I'd be very happy if you said you've been with me for 10 years. But that's not to say I'm not happy with the ones who have been with me for less than a year. So if someone says 10 years, 8 years, 7 years, 6 years, I'd say, "wow, that's a long time." Let's all have that conversation. It's fine isn't it, let's grow old together. No?"

Then again, it's not about the length of time but rather the depth of that time spent

Even though he hasn't been able to see us for three years, he was happy to see people coming again for the first time in three years

It's not about what appeals to him specifically, he's just happy about that fact

He then acknowledges the Chaba who come from overseas since there were quite a few at the event this time

"I understand that it is not a matter of distance, but how hard, precious, and how much energy it takes to go to see someone"

That's one of the reason why taking cheki together is such an important time to him because we get to spend time close to each other

"I think it's fine for everyone to have their own way of looking at it, but for me, that is the most direct moment for me because it's the moment when I feel the most about how much you feel for me to come to see me"

His heart is grinning but he apologizes for his tired facial expressions

"To begin with, I don't smile very often. I'm not a person who smiles, so my facial expressions aren't trained. But when I do smile, I smile. My heart is always smiling"

Someone in the chat mentions how they have still never had any physical contact with him (due to remaining COVID restrictions) and he responds, "aren't our hearts always touching?"

For his next event, he'd like to be able to have physical contact

For the Osaka evening cheki, he had assigned one of the poses as "good heart" (search for グッドハートポーズ) where one does half a heart and the other gives a thumbs up (kind of like a rejection), but because there was a confusion of who would do which pose, it pretty much just ended up like a full heart most of the time 🫶

Many of the Chaba thought they weren't allowed to touch the partition screen or they were too embarrassed to touch it

He wanted to break down the partition screen

Everyone were touching all over with the handcuffs tho

"The handcuffs were great. I liked the handcuffs, personally I liked them alot. It felt like we were connected. The other [poses] were also good, but I thought the handcuffs were really good"

He'd like to clarify (once again) that he is not a masochist 😂

He snort laughs and apologizes to both Yuya and that person in the audience 🐽

He will not be holding a hugging event because "hugging is not such a simple thing" - and neither is him becoming a lap pillow

He thinks doing pinky promises for next time should be okay

Someone asks if he would do a hug if they offered more money (than the regular cheki which tends to be 3000¥) but he says it's not about money but rather what you can and can't do since COVID is still quite prevalent and the flu is going around at this time

Since he had to avoid cancelling the events at all costs, that's also why he was able to let go a bit on the restrictions in Osaka since he doesn't have anything else planned afterwards

Instead of handcuffs, he had everyone holding the balloon in Tokyo (he held "3" and Chaba held "6")

It was the first time he had balloons as props 🎈

Now he's gonna wrap up the livestream, go to the bathroom, then set up the gaming stream

"'Hey hey, is it ok if I fall in love with you?' On the contrary, have you not fallen in love with me at this point? Ouch"

He calls himself the husband of 700 people again (except only 600 were live atm)

He's got serious trauma from the scorpion 🦂 He's glad he didn't have to eat it in the end

Majima = Broccoli 🥦

It's been a while since he did a gaming stream so he's sorry it's probably only going to be Duck Simulator tonight. He's gonna have to talk with the staff at OpenRec to figure out how to stream the other things he downloaded but wasn't able to play

He tried looking it up on his own but he found no solution online

His bunny ears keep being out of frame so he just looks like someone who's wearing some kind of weird piece of string

This month's roll call was just an ordinary one 👋 Shoutout to Mayumi

Lastly, he called out Chaba so he called everyone 🍵

He won't tweet when the gaming stream starts so he's relying on all of us to spread the word instead lol

Chaba is his only manager 🙌 But he thinks we're all a bit strict so we should all go to Okayama and chill

≫ OpenRec's Discord:

He hasn't checked his Discord these last couple of days so he might have been logged out (since it's connected to his OpenRec account, which is consequently also the company's account), apparently it takes quite some time to log in

He assures us there are benefits of being subscribed to Gold Membership

He thinks his Discord has been quite lonely recently

He sees everything Chaba write on Discord, even though he doesn't comment often. Of course he checks Twitter too, but Discord is the only platform where he has unrestricted access to a Chaba-only timeline

As for letters (via OpenRec), he's the only one who sees them (but he doesn't think it's good because he doesn't want to make money from it and it costs alot of money to send)

Basically, he doesn't check his Twitter DMs. If he turned on his Twitter DMs, there would be no point in using Discord and he thinks it would be rude for the people who are sending him messages there

If he stops Discord, he'll have to stop doing OpenRec

Since he's not with an agency anymore, he hasn't been receiving many fan letters recently (he looks so sad and lonely as he says this 🥺)

He clarifies that he does indeed read his fan letters!

He will not tell his account number

He wants us to take a screenshot and tweet it alongside the gaming livestream notification

He's not that drunk rn; he's got work and he's grown - not like before when he was in a disarray during COVID

Last year was a bit difficult too (not that it had anything to do with being drunk)

He was so drunk he doesn't even remember that particular livestream

He won't do InstaLive or YouTube either

He thinks it's incredible you can now charge money on Twitter, he has no idea how the monetization works though

He apologizes for his bad time management (again) 😅

"Once again, I'd like to thank you all for coming to Tensura, Suehirogari, Furuba and then birthday event for these past two and a half months. I'm sure I've pushed you too hard by including all of this [in this amount of time]. I honestly have a mixture of feeling sorry for making you work so hard and grateful for having you come to see me. From hereon, I probably won't have any press conferences/meetings next month or the month after that, I don't know if there will be any, and even if there is, it might not be, or even if there is, it hasn't been decided. Now that COVID is over, there are instances where the stage will be decided a month or two in advance. For example, I may have received an offer in January, or I may have received an offer in December, but I've probably been saying this for a long time now that it doesn't necessarily mean anything will come out of it. It might be very difficult to balance the times when we can't see each other and when I won't appear [on stage], but I still want us to see that scenery together. I don't want us to view a scenery that I don't want to see. I want us to always be able to see the same scenery - but I might have to make you wait a little while. It's okay if you have an affair, that's totally fine. If it gives you energy, then that's fine. That's fine. It's my fault for not being able to take you on a trip that shows you a much better scenery. Don't worry about it, it's okay - I'm saying that, but it's actually pretty hard for me (laughs)"

Next year may still be far off but he still has some ideas about it

He's not in works as frequently as he used to be but it all comes down to how important each piece is to him personally

While there may be times that we get to see him frequently, rather than having a fixed number of times we get to see him, it depends on how we spend that short amount time together and he likes to think of how to get the most out of that time

Even if he can't meet us, he's still going to continue to send out messages

If he gets 200 comments on Twitter, he will host a Christmas party on the 25th (he just chose a number at random)

He's been getting less replies on Twitter recently

He might try to do a brief dinner show, although he doesn't have the motivation for it. Since he's not with a management anymore, he probably won't be able to do it

Someone apologizes in the chat for slacking off by not replying but he says there's no need to, we all do whatever in our own time

A Christmas party would mean getting rid of this year's Fuyu no Jin

"'If it's a livestream, it's fine' - see, it's already gonna be difficult for everyone! I thought that was definitely gonna be the case so I better stop. This conversation never happened"

He hasn't made any plans for this year's Fuyu no Jin so he's been thinking of not doing it

Even so, he wants to make time to spend with everybody, even if it's a short while

It doesn't have to be necessarily limited to theatrical performances

Christmas is tough with money already so he doesn't want to push us too hard

He'd like to do the dinner show but it's probably gonna be expensive since it won't include all the food and alcohol costs

He's imagining a dinner show like Mikawa Ken'ichi's

He apologizes for being a Libra and not a Scorpio so he won't be singing Mikawa's song titled Sasoriza no on'na (Scorpio woman) ♏❌️♎

He's not gonna make us pay 30 000¥ - but then again that might include food and all-you-can-drink

He thinks maybe it's so expensive because you can't invite that many people

Someone says he could cut a cabbage into strips and they'd be fine with it

"We could all share a heaping amount of shredded cabbage made by Nakada Hiroki www"

Hope is talking in her sleep! 🐶💕

His bladder is at its limit rn so he's gonna finish the stream lol

Screenshot time!

[guinevereslancelot]

just wrapped the first christmas present of the year ❤️

[emulation-0]

@cursedvibes ty for tagging me ik it was a while ago 😭

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

on my profile 32, i think? (but actually 35)

2. Whats your total word count?

59,890 tho i do have like 56000 more words in orphaned works

3. What fandoms do you write for?

primarily Jujutsu Kaisen, i had some ideas for other fandoms but those remain as wips... honestly after this tsumiki one im not sure i will be writing for a while siebjfneofneod

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

there's a fire in my brain and im burning up (itadori)

this tired old machine is a-rumbling (higuruma)

the devil's after both of us (itafushi)

oh, lay my curses out to rest (tokyo students + shoko)

oh, ashes ashes dust to dust (nobamaki)

(this makes me upset im not gonna lie cuz looking back and reading these im struck by how mid they are but sjdbdkneodks its whatever)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do for the most part !! i love receiving comments and i want people to know how much i appreciate it :) i also love when ppl reply to comments i leave on their fics so i want to do the same

6. what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ummm my Curses series was more one-shots without actual plot.. and as many of those were shibuya or post shibuya they were all pretty angsty beifbekdjeodk. i wouldnt say any have this kind of ending because then there would have to be a story. but i would say the saddest one ive written is 'keep running for the sink but the well is dry'

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

'light of a new morning' for sure. this one actually had some kind of development i would say. also i have bias because this is one of the only three ive written that dont totally suck. though the tsumiki wip im working on for sure will have an even happier ending

8. do you get hate on fic?

im not popular enough for that lol

9. do you write smut?

no

10. do you write crossovers?

i had one in mind a while ago but it escaped me... i never have before but that doesnt mean i never will, even if it is unlikely

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i dont think so

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no but id be honored if so. especially if it was one im proud of

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but im open to the idea

14. whats your all-time favorite ship?

i go through phases so i cant really answer this lol. my interest waxes and wanes. rn though im really obsessed with uroyuki and in a satosugu phase

15. whats a wip you want to finish but probably won't?

there is a shokohime wip i started two or so years ago about shoko's backstory and the developing of their relationship up until the present but at some point there was a research aspect to it and i thought 'ill do it later'. and then i never did 💀 id like to continue it but i still lowk think it will sit there.. i dont have enough motivation to do research ekdbfkenfkdk

there is also a trigun one i started, it was kind of plotless, just vibes, but i wasnt able to get their dialogue right and idk. maybe when i get into a trigun phase again ill find inspiration and continue

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think im good at describing a scene and emotions. im good at making this kind of poetry

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

im soooo shit at dialogue and even when im not shit at it i keep overthinking it and ruin it anyway lol

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i mean ive done it (but i orphaned those... lol) and im doing it now for the tsumiki wip so its fine i guess. but id only do it for languages that i know and if not, after profuse grammar checking. also ofc it has to make sense within the context of the story

19. first fandom you wrote for?

septimus heap eiebdkwbdkebd it was so bad

20. favorite fic you've written?

ill do you one better and say three... and these are the not-mid ones

light of a new morning (tsumiki and itadori)

after hours (mob and reigen)

before-the-storm bloom (uroyuki)

my writing style changed a lot and i think these ones emulate the way it is now the best

idk 20 writers but tagging @that-was-anticlimactic @zukkaoru @blackhallow and anyone else who wants !!

[parad-ice-lostandfound]

<[ ♡ ~ Introduction

Hi!! I'm Bvnny, I’m excited to do this exchange with you. I’m fem-presenting but I consider myself nonbinary. I don’t perceive myself as really having a gender and i don’t feel feminine or masculine, however, i like to do more feminine presenting things. I use she/her and they/them pronouns. I’d like a romantic matchup and I’m bisexual but tbh I don’t see myself with thirteen lol so that kind of cuts out the only girl. Also, if I could NOT get paired with Beel that would be awesome- he reminds me of my little brother for me to see him like that ;-;. I don’t have a lot of freetime but I play video games with my sister and I like to sew. I also love researching gang-related crime, serial killers, and anything involving children and their development. I love criminal psychology and child development-based psychology so opportunities to learn and even combine them always make me happy.

<[ ♡ ~ Appearance

I’ve got warm black hair that goes down just past my chin. Its a medium bob with some curtain bangs. I’m 5’2 and about 100 lbs so I'm pretty small (shelves are a bitch). I’ve got light brown eyes with a weird dark greenish brown ring around it. I’m biracial (whispanic lesgooo) so I’m not super tan but I’m not a ghost either. I’m a comfortable light olive and I can tan more with sunlight (ew) I’ve got enough freckles that you notice if you're right in front of me but not so many that it takes over my whole face. I’m normally in my converse or my work boots (which are always shined to be perfect thank u <3) I’m definitely a rectangle and I’m fairly thin. I’ve got hardly any ass and minimal boob-age. I’ve got p good thighs tho so that's nice. However, I've got the “ideal” body type for the stereotypical y2k outfits!!!! That's the majority of my closet- I wear lots of flare jeans, halter tops, and honestly if you look up 2000s I've probably worn half the outfits there. Brown is the best color for me, but I wear lots of yellow (my fave!!). Another huge part of my style is influenced by chicano culture since that’s what I was raised in and around. I have loads of FB County Charlie Brown crop tops in about 8 different colors. My dream is for the charlie brown halter tops, but for now I’ll live with just my flannel halter. I really just love dressing up for anything- no such thing as overdressed in my book. I like spending hours on my makeup and I refuse to leave the house without my eyeliner and eyeshadow being perfect. I put a lot of effort into my appearance- skincare twice a day, making sure my makeup is perfect, making sure my outfit is on point, etc., etc.. If I don't feel like it’s my best, I probably won’t wear it. It’s either a nice and easy 5 minutes or it takes me an hour. Between us, I’ve been late to school because of my makeup on more than one occasion (and it’ll happen again).

<[ ♡ ~ Personality

Here’s a few of my personality stuff incase you don't want to read through:

Enneagram 2w1

INFP

Scorpio Sun, Scorpio Moon, Pisces Rising

I’ve also got ADHD and a weird anxiety disorder (mentions of anxious thoughts and compulsions) I go into at the end. it’s the last paragraph of this section if you want to skip it!!

Those basically boil it down to everything you need to know, but i’ll go in depth! I’m the oldest of 5 siblings. My sister A is about to turn 16, my sister B is 14, my brother C is 13, and my youngest (and favorite i’ve got no shame about it) is D and she’s 7. Honestly being their big sister is my only personality trait- D is all I talk about. She’s literally always with me too. I’m at all of her school events, she hangs out in my room (even when I’m not there), she’s going with me to grocery stores and if I get free time I’ll play video games with her like minecraft, among us, and maybe roblox (strong maybe, i have to be in a real good mood it makes me car sick ;-;)

My learning disability can make me forget things and seem fairly spacey. Right now it’s for sure ADHD, and my therapist is leaning towards autism as well but we’re avoiding an official diagnosis bc it will limit me in the career I want to enter. I cannot sit still for the life of me- I’m convinced if i do i’m gonna die. Normally i’m pretty good about masking with minimal energy- one of my special interests has always been psychology. i’ll mirror people for fun sometimes, but then i end up accidentally picking up habits. but, at the end of the day, i’m still a big neurodivergent mess. my biggest stims are chewing (rubber, my lips and fingers (not hard!!!), and silicone), tippy taps, arm flapping, and spinning. I love headphone cords and lego tires, they’re my favorite and they’re just so comforting. bc if my chewing stim, i’m literally always snacking. people get concerned when i tell them i don’t have a lot of full meals but i literally ate 2 costco boxes of goldfish, about 3 packages of gerber star puffs for babies, and still had lasagna for dinner. i eat a lot- just not all at once. this also can cause me to start stress eating. Its hard for me to be hyper aware at the end of the day too. My jobs require me to be watching everything, but at the end of it, i just want to watch my LEDS change colors.

As much as I love my siblings, they are also the reason you can see a couple gray hairs starting to grow. They are the biggest trigger for my compulsions- especially D. If something isn’t perfect, and my youngest sister is around, I get unreasonably stressed out. I always joke that I can never sleep when she’s in my room because I’m worried the Kool-Aid man will bust through the wall and I'll sleep through it. However, there is some weight to that. If (and tbh when) my sister falls asleep in my bed, I’m up doing anything to keep me busy because for whatever reason it just doesn’t feel safe to sleep. This stems for the kids I work with as well. My co-workers make jokes about me being a perfectionist but it feels like if something is out of place bad things will happen. We love anxiety, real hot girl shit.

Small things I’ll do is constantly re-organize things. I’m constantly fidgeting with stuff and putting things back into “place” (where I decided they have to go for the rest of time). I do the same with our silverware. I’ll make sure all of our plates are in a rainbow. I have to do certain things in the exact same order every time. I’m VERY particular about how stuff in my room is- the quickest way to stress me out is to touch my stuff, move it around, or mess with my routine. Depending on how I’m feeling, that might literally make me have a breakdown. But being able to expect things every single time or fix things and make it right just calms me and makes me feel in control of something small, and even that can boost my mood and confidence a bit.

I work 3 jobs right now- law enforcement, I co-teach in a special occupational pre-school for high school students, and I baby sit at least twice a week. I have been pursuing a childcare career for 5 years, however, right now I’m piloting an state-wide high school internship program for local law enforcement departments. It was a pain to try and get started- I get to take the trial run since i’m 18 and a senior with a lot of law club training. I got voted as president of our high school’s law enforcement club as a joke my sophomore year and I just… keep… getting… re… elected. It’s not bad- I actually switched from thinking about teaching because of it and now I’m considering juvenile probation and teaching as a retirement job. I’m still debating- teaching is very important to me.

Because I’ve had a lot of work in childcare and shitty retail jobs, i’ve got an ungodly amount of patience. I have a scar on my leg from where a kid threw a table at me- he was still my favorite at the end of my program tho. It takes a lot for me to not like someone. I’m an upbeat person who is always eager to help and lend a hand. There’s an old lady trying to load something big into her car? Bam, Bvnny to the rescue. Need a door opened? Bam, door held. A lot of this stems from being the oldest of 5 tbh- I not only want to be someone my siblings can look up to, but I also want to be someone who can be as awesome as their parents. Admittedly, it gets really difficult when my siblings are all so different, my parents are grade-A overachievers, and I've got a bingo game going with potential learning disabilities. But I always push myself anyways- usually too far and burn myself out but it’s cool (this is a cry for help /j)

Because of how much I push myself to be better, I see a lot of improvement over time. However this also can make me a smidgen (a big smidgen lmaooo) bit defensive over how I present myself. Like, I’ve been ugly. I’ve been teased. I’ve been bullied. But I’ve worked my ass off to fix those things, and I work my ass off to maintain those things. I just put a lot of effort into how I carry myself and having it insulted is like damn I worked so hard for what???? Like if you call me ugly its like ugh but honestly I don’t care if I don’t know you. The one thing that will ALWAYS piss me off is when people try to discount my intelligence. Like I said before, I’ve been the ugly kid. I’ve been a weird kid. I’ve been the kid that gets bullied for stuff I can’t control. HOWEVER, the one thing I’ve always had going for me was that I’m smart. I was always the one helping with homework and it saved my ass more than once. I’ll take constructive criticisms, but not asshole criticism. It’ll hurt my pride </3

On a serious note, If I were to connect to any of the seven sins, it would 100% be Lucifer’s. I wouldn’t say i’m lucifer-levels of pride, but like it’s def there. I take pride in my siblings, my appearance, my job, etc., etc. I’m proud, but I feel like I’ve earned it with how hard I’ve worked to get here and how fucking cool my siblings turned out (that also might just be my ego talking, who knows?) Like A and B are so beyond beautiful and super popular. They're awesome at sports and are amazing with people. C is 6’2 and 270lbs of muscle (he’s 13 need i remind you ;-;) but he’s gentle and he gives the best hugs and he can fix literally anything. We also go on brother-sister dates to panda express after he wins a football game (he’s had a perfect season and my wallet hurts). D is so good at art and she’s beautifully kind. She can communicate better than adults do. Like if someone is bothering her she can set her boundary and stick with it. She is super empathetic and loves animals and wants to be a dog groomer when she grows up. She’s unironically funnier than all of us and with the amount of sass that leaves her mouth it’s obvious she’s got 4 big siblings (it’s never disrespectful tho, that’s the best part).They are all going to do wonderful things and I’m so excited to see it. I will also do anything, and I mean anything, to guarantee they get to do those great things they dream about.

<[ ♡ ~ Relationship Info

For a partner, I seriously need someone who can understand that I have no freetime. At all. Ever. I hardly ever leave the house, and if I do it’s literally to go shopping. For 18 i feel so lame lol. Chances are my partner is going to be one of my 3 friends. Despite not even being out of high school yet (2 more months thank god) I need something more domestic and less teenage romance. Like getting home from work and relaxing with our 4 dogs (forgot to mention I have 4 big dogs whoops). I need someone who is decent enough with kids to get along with my siblings. It’s also super important that I can have conversations with them- and they want to have them too. Not like “Hi honey how was your day?” “good” “What did you do?” “work.” I want them to want to talk too. I want to know everything about my partner. Would you love me if i was a worm? Would you love me if YOU were a worm? What if we were both worms? I want to have stupid conversations like that but I would also kill to talk about psychological theories and child development and have not-stupid conversations. I want someone intelligent enough to talk to me and make me want to learn, but also willing to indulge in my stupid theoretical conversations. They’ve also gotta understand my siblings will literally always come first. It could be our wedding day and if my sister calls me and says she needs me i’ll be out of there so fast you wouldn’t even have time to process. Family is super important to me, and eventually I want my very own little family that will be just as important, if not more so.

My top 3 love languages are quality time, physical touch, and acts of service. I’d say quality time and physical touch are the ones I want the most, but acts of service are the ones I appreciate the most if that makes any sense.

Quality Time- I'm huge on napping together and just parallel play (doing different activities but together). I love napping together because I literally always need one, but I'm more than content to just cuddle while I play my games on my phone and my partner does whatever they’re doing. Hell, we don’t even have to cuddle (I'd like it if we did). We can just sit in the same room and enjoy each other's presence. My quality time also extends to my family- the chances of my youngest sister being with me is pretty much 100%. She’s my thunder buddy- if she doesn't want to hang out with you neither do I. Most of the time if she’s with me she’s drawing or playing games on her own and is just hanging out with me in my room or in the car. If I have time Ill play games with her so if you aren’t down to spend some time with her then out the door with you. Realistically, if I were to go down to the devildom, she’d end up coming with me in some freak magic accident. And I’d make it so she can stay- when I said I’d do anything for them I was NOT kidding.

Physical Touch- I know I said we don't have to cuddle but like if we can I’m over the moon. I love getting to feel my partner. I'm okay with linking pinkies when we do stuff or touching knees when we sit. As long as I can feel my partner next to me I'm over the moon! I love hugs, I love kisses, I love playing with people's hair, I love getting my hair played with. I’m always giving my youngest sister little scratches on the head or smoothing her hair down or straightening her clothes. I’ll give her hugs before I leave and she always falls asleep cuddling with me. I never say no when my brother wants to give me hugs (which is all the time, bless his heart) and even when he picks me up off the ground I’m still okay with it. My middle sisters are NOT as fond of me touching them so I try to avoid it- B will literally swat my hand away if I’m even remotely close to her. But I’ll do small things like tucking in their shirt tags or fixing their hair. Does this fall into acts of service? Kind of, but it’s the only contact I get with them let me have it ;-;

Acts of Service- I have so much I need to get done. All the time. Every day. And there are tons of things I struggle with doing even when I’m not trying to get 80 other tasks done. Like laundry- laundry always ends up being the last of my list. Without fail. Cleaning in general just hardly ever happens.I pretty much live in my car with how often I’m driving and it definitely shows. If I find time to clean my spaces, chances are it’s at the very end of my day when I’m tired and honestly I end up putting it off for extra hours of much needed sleep. It’s not that I want my partner to do all the cleaning- honestly I’m so particular I’d rather do it myself- but if they did something like laundry or they made food for tomorrow or just something small it means the world. However this also goes both ways. I love doing stuff for other people. I love getting to make my partner meals or help with a project or carry something for them. It just makes my heart happy to relax with my loved ones. <3

Ifs too long let me know- I’ll give you a TLDR lol <3333 I’m super looking forward to this matchup with you :)))

Hi Bvnny! I am so excited and happy to do this exchange* with you! Your idea is one of a kind and so unique, and I love it very much! Don't worry about having written too much, it's more material for me to work with after all. Now, without any further delay, I pair you with...

Simeon!

To be quite honest, while I was reading through everything, it was so hard to pinpoint who would be a good match for you. I would think, "Huh, this character is perfect for them" and then BAM! you hit me with something that makes me go "Now wait a minute-"

In all honesty, it was fun, and for some time I was stuck between Mammon and Simeon, but Simeon won at the end, as you can see lol.

Simeon adores everything about you, from your freckles to your outfits. How can he not? You are mesmerizing in his eyes. He feels extremely happy that you take care of how you look, not because of what others think or say, but because you feel like it, because you want to. He wouldn't mind if the two of you got late for RAD because you wanted your makeup to be perfect. Chances are he's there with you watching you, his eyes wide in wonder and admiration, or helping you if you allow him to.

While he is not one for much PDA , one of Simeon's favorite things is to press featherlight kisses to your freckles, whenever you allow him. Solomon teases him about being obsessed with them every once in a while, but Simeon doesn't mind.

Simeon is good with children. He likes to listen to you talking about your siblings and wishes to meet them himself. He knows and understands that family comes first for you. He gets a little nervous about meeting your siblings, especially D, because he wants to leave a good impression on them. Not only because they are your siblings, but because your talking about them has made him grow fond of them.

Simeon is very attentive when it comes to you. He can't help it, its in his nature to care and nurture. He is good at realizing when you get a bit fidgety or look like you need sometime away from whatever has your anxiety spiking. He makes sure that you don't skip meals, and even if you do snack because of your chewing stim, whatever you snack on is nutritious. He will absolutely die if you mirror something he does or pick up a habit of his. You are too adorable for his poor angel heart, have mercy on him lol-

Simeon likes how the two of you you could be discussing whether you would love the other person if they were a worm, and afterwards, about a documentary you watched. Many of your discussions give him ideas for his books. You are, quite literally, his muse.

Simeon doesn't like seeing you burn yourself out. He loves you, and knows just how beautiful and amazing you are inside and out. Your tendency to push yourself too far brings out his protectiveness, and he can and will mother hen you into taking care of yourself before anything else. He will not have you ignoring your needs and wants. Simeon also will not stand for anyone taking undue advantage of your helpful nature.

Simeon is in awe of you. Your three jobs? Your ungodly amount of patience? Your fierce and protective love for your siblings? Your pride in yourself and your siblings? All of this inspires him, and he falls in love with you a little bit more every second he spends with you. Loving Simeon is very natural, very soft, and definitely domestic. He is very physically affectionate in private, but a little reserved in public. He adores cuddling with you anytime, whether it is while you are talking to each other, watching a movie, or its you playing a game on your phone while he reads or something. He knows you don't have a lot of free time, and likes to spend what time you do have with him plastered to your side. In public, he is not as clingy, but anyone who looks at him knows that he is completely head over heels for you. How? Because he is always at your side, his hand on the small of your back either guiding you somewhere or just resting there like a claim. His eyes never seem to wander from you, a content smile on his face.

Simeon likes doing things for you. So yes, he will do the laundry for you and clean up, just to see that radiant smile on your face. He likes playing with your hair, and falls in love with you all over again if you do it to him. One of the things he buys for you every time he goes shopping is hair accessories. One time he made a flower crown for you himself, then spelled it so the flowers wouldn't wilt. He is surprisingly innocent and boyish and just so, so in love with you~

Simeon is very supportive. No matter what you want to do, which career you want to choose, he is always there for you. He had been told his presence is soothing and comforting, and he wishes you feel the same way. That you feel comfortable and loved and cherished whenever you're with him, because you deserve the world. And he would love to give it to you on a silver platter.

*Please note that matchups are not open right now.

[para-psychopathology]

↓ rambling

i keep running into this problem where i want to do music, but actually doing never feels right. i don't really try to make anything original anymore bc, y'know, that shit's hard. i stopped just when i was starting to get the hang of it -- the last time i made an original song was nearly a year ago (and even then, it was from a much older project file that was already pretty close to being done). sometimes i still open up LMMS to mess around but i don't have much motivation to finish anything these days. so i've just been posting song covers over the past year but even that's lost so much of its appeal. i mean when i was 14 i'd churn out like 3 covers in a single month, admittedly bc i spent less time on them (lmao) but also bc i was just a lot more enthusiastic abt making it. i think a lot of that was just the excitement of learning something new -- it was kinda the same when i started using a different program for my art, having to learn all these advanced features was actually rly good for getting me out of my major art block back then. and for both art + music i've more or less settled into a routine and so now i don't make like Anything. opening up synthv to draw some notes and type in lyrics isn't fun anymore. i've done this like a million times i already know what i'm doing (which is incidentally the same reason why i haven't been drawing much) and ofc as i've gotten better at these things (and older) i'm also a lot more conscious of whether or not what i'm making is good. but i think another reason why i'm specifically struggling w music is bc of all the new developments in vocal synthesis that i just Haven't been keeping up w. y'know, the AI shit. i dunno how i feel abt the ""morality"" of AI in vsynths (i think it's prolly fine in the case of official voicebanks, since the voice provider is fully aware of the AI use + receiving compensation? tho my opinion is basically worthless lol) but at the very least it's been somewhat demoralizing. i know it's not everyone who uses these programs but ig it's the same issue as w AI-generated art or writing -- covers take so much time + effort, so it's kinda frustrating to think that someone else can just feed a couple of .wav files into an interface and be done. (tho at the same time -- mixing still isn't fully automated, afaik, and the issue of "ppl making shitty song covers w vsynths and putting 0 effort into the mix" exists even w/o AI) but then also ppl who listen to AI covers might then assume i've done the same, that i don't spent literal hours just trying make the vocals sound right…….

i dunno. i've always thought music was rly cool but it just seems so far out of reach. learning music theory isn't "fun" for me in the way other things are, but w/o that knowledge i feel like i'm only "allowed" to make covers, since then i'm just building off of someone else's work that's already well-made.

anyway it's prolly the depression lol

[degozarumyu]

random rambling about the eps ive seen over the past few days yippee

phaser/zwijo/yuuhi vs yuudias/kuaidul was so peak actually like i was so hyped the whole time like!!! yuuhi doing their summon chants!!!!!!!! based!!!!!!!! and him being so nice to kuaidul after was so cute... :)

i've still only seen the first few eps of sevens and that was... 3 years ago oops so i am *stares blankly at otes* but the creator stuff is super interesting :DD

also ofc kuaidul was inspired to start carding ppl after seeing luge lmaooo he has done so much irreparable damage to the lives of likely millions over thousands of years but he is silly and cute so i forgive him <3

with the kuaidul spacetime stuff tho i wonder if the reason yuudias hasn't broken out of it yet is bc of what he said regarding characters existing in fictional worlds still being real and existing???? like he's stuck bc yea he knows its a fictional world but also he believes that just because something's fictional that doesn't necessarily mean it isn't real -> he believes the fictional version of himself made by kuaidul is 'real' and just accepts that instead of challenging it

and zwijo rly clearly represents the opposite where he knows the world and himself aren't real and even questions whether his thoughts are his own if everything's created by someone else,, sasuga boiled bagel requiem's manager

so then ofc he says its zwijo time and zwijos all over the spacetime

im sorry for being incomprehensible it is past midnight and i have an exam in 14 hours but i must feed the ygo worm in my brain

oh oh i almost forgot to mention. i can't believe they put the onceler in ygo (points at zaion) i want to draw him as that stupid 'how bad me be' meme

actually

would post-luge divorce zaion x pre-luge zaion/setsuri be like oncest

i think thats enough internet for today lol gn!!!!!