#its on like The Science of Sex tm so like
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i really really want to be home and sleep in my own bed and do my little edmonton things and stuff but also tabling for work is starting up again and im like myyyrrrhhgh the idea of going to the science centre for the adult night within a week of my return just makes me So Tired in my SOUL
#its on like The Science of Sex tm so like#im already tired based on it being late and people drinking and probably having to yell over music#and undoubtedly they always seem to schedule these things like#for the exact time of the month that my body is going to knock me out#also i know theres the oh Hahaha Pride is Every Month :)#but also pride is literally every month now it seems and im so tired#like march?? macewan has their pride week in march???#i get it because its during the semester but also the gays are sleeping ok#the gays need time to do this research first ok#also 2 ace 4 this im so eepy#personal hapo#hapo's workventures#i joke that oh haha im not a real adult but sometimes i really Do Not Vibe#Adult ALWAYS means drunk sexy people at these events and loud music and my bedtime is before 10 ok#i should respond to this email#ohhh hahaha its a little short notice for me i have to by groceries and eat them hahaaa
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theres so much abt me / some of the others thats like. lol the second any of us says shit online were getting dogpiled
#self dx discourse and lgbt discourse my dearly detested#how the fuck did we get to the point where the internet thinks d.i.d.#is a fucking hashtag prideflag pluralgang i decided to be multiple uwu choose your own identity adventure#how did we get to the point where someone deciding actually... i wanted internet points... so sasuke uchiha is my mind roommate in my brain#is somehow an '''identity''' you can just '''identify''' as#but an actual real life d.i.d. motherfucker#waking up in a body thats been medically transitioned away from birth sex#and now has dysphoria bc hey wait a sec#lol there are so many circles where thatd be called 'cis' or 'detransitioned' or whatever#but hows it any different#im in a mood man fuck yall#.dtxt#edit: oh right the self dx part#ive got symptoms(tm) of a lot of shit the others dont have#and because the others dont show symptoms of it#its very unlikely that those conditions have any physiological markers in my brain#most likely the body/brain does not physically have that particular disorder bc the others dont experience it afaik#but that doesnt mean im not dealing with the symptoms all the fucking time#and despite being a very logic and science based jackass#i cant just close my eyes and will away the symptoms i 'shouldnt' be having#im dealing with them and learning to cope with them just like everyone else#but theres no fucking chance of a dx for something im already living with#bc the others dont have it#¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Survey #357
“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall / we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”
Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot. What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines. If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too! Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily. Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know. What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me. Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place. Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out. How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name? Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad. What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black. Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous. Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property. Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No. Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it. What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them... What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know. Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye. Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so. What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question. Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No. Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both. What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol. Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30. What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one. If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all. When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug* Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers." Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so. Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books. When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow. Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once. Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate. Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day. By the way, what is your name? Brittany. What time zone do you live in? EST. Do you like cats? I love cats. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno. What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle. If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No. Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with. Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially. Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend��� or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.
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Just remembered, I had totally spaced on the whiteboard behind Dr. Hunt in the firehouse! He's got a little bit of info of his observations from when he treats "a Bastard Bite (TM)." (Key points being that fangs can/do break off in the game, it's not just a nifty logo thing, and that the bite itself is not enough to turn someone. So if the vampirism leans scientific, it's got limitations between blood- vs. saliva-based transmission.)
I'll drop the screenshot of it (and the Aevum whiteboards I nabbed, for funsies) under the cut for (pseudo-)science-references! (There's also notes I remember seeing in the building about things like the GDF11 stuff and research sources, but I don't have screenshots of them, oops.)
Doctor Hunt's whiteboard:
[Image ID: a screenshot of Dr. Hunt's whiteboard in Redfall. The left side reads: How to treat a Bastard Bite (TM) -slow blood flow, Gauze + apply pressure (followed by a doodle of a box of gauze) -Apply a tourniquet, if you can. -Depending on wound location, their teeth are LONG - internal puncturing + bleeding will occur. -Remove any teeth/bullets/etc. You can cauterize the wound. (with a doodle of a little gas can with fire coming out a tube) MAKE SURE (rest of text covered by magnetic marker holder, but is followed by a small doodle of vampire fangs in a crossed out circle)
The center of the board reads: Notes: Wound Survivability Neck, upper leg: FATAL -Primary attack spot for our fanged friends -known to snap a neck here + there Have unusually elongated extremities, will attempt to attack with arms and nails first TREATMENT BOARD -Samples collected from previously attacked victims -T.V. DELST .04 (I think?) -Hopefully have (something, cut off by whiteboard frame)
The right side reads: MEDBAY DAY: ? *MEDICAL SUPPLIES LOW -gauze (checkmark) -tongs/scalpels (circled, with an added note "finding lots of broken teeth, need more") -masks/gloves (checkmark) -test tubes OBSERVATIONS -those bitten do not turn (with the word "vampirism" crossed out) -Bites go DEEP
End Image ID]
Aevum Rat Parabiosis whiteboard:
[Image ID: a screenshot of a whiteboard from the Aevum building, with an illustration of the circulatory systems of two rats in the center. The left side reads: PARABIOSIS (Alongside-life) Combine vasculature of two living animals 1 - Remove thin layer of skin 2 - Stitch exposed skin together 3 - Promote wound-healing of joined skin 4 - Blood streams are joined during healing 5 - Capillary networks fuse together and share blood (with an extra note pointing to the rat diagram to label its capillaries) 6 - 1-2 weeks rats are pumping each others' blood Paul Bert 1864 Clive McCay 1956 Brian Pelletier 1992
The center of the board is primarily the rat illustrations. The left one is labeled as "Rat A Young" and the right as "Rat B Old." The following is written above them: Join circulatory system of 'young' rat to 'old' rat "REJUVENATION" Next to the old rat is a vertical flowchart diagram labeled Vessel, with arrows leading downward starting with Artery, to Arteriole, to Capillary (which is highlighted), to Venule, to Vein, circling up to Heart, which points back to the beginning.
The right side of the board has illustrations of shriveled, normal, and swollen red blood cells to demonstrate the changes, and reads: (Reduce Parabiotic Disease) -Same sex and size genetically matched Young Blood Protein GDF11 A. Addison O- Activate Notch Signaling Cell Division Telophase (with an illustrated example) Cytokinesis (also with an illustrated example) Deactivate TGF-B Pathway
End Image ID]
Heterochronic whiteboard:
[Image ID: a screenshot of another long science-y whiteboard in the Aevum facility. The left side of the board reads: HETEROCHRONIC STUDIES Phase 1 Experimenting with heterochromic mice produced positive results Phase 2 Testing with human subjects Young "volunteers" are scarce Death is more common in young Experimenting on Amelia resumes with further tests -Isolate PBMC's from blood -Isolate Monocytes from her blood -Focal demyelination in spinal cord
The center of the board reads: Monocytes from Amelia are critical for rejuvenation of remyelination Chimeric blood in old parabiotic partner (followed by an illustrated diagram, labeled with the following:) young monocyte (CCR2 -/-) soluble factors in young serum CCR2 receptor old wt monocyte (CCR2 +)
The right side of the board reads: Experimentation physiology of conjoined twins Blood from Twin A flows to Twin B Mainly through capillaries and minor organs -separation of twins FAILED Transfusion does NOT work!! Most experiments resulted in death for the person receiving the blood
End Image ID]
GDF11 whiteboard:
[Image ID: a screenshot of another Aevum whiteboard, though this one is poorly lit. The left side of the board reads: GDF11 -Hox genes -Pathophysiology of aging -Rejuvination Bloodborne epigenetic factors -transmisible? The body remembers.
The right side reads: Parabiosis -Shared circulatory system -Amelioration of aging -Tissue regen
End Image ID]
W Sample whiteboard:
[Image ID: a screenshot of a slightly better lit Aevum whiteboard. the left side reads: W. Sample Test One Dorsal and Ventral Streams Informational persistence She will open what's behind the eye
The right side reads: Regular Transfusions -Positive effect on cognitive functions -Scared -Compliant -Martyr Complex? Dr. Young to speak her language
End Image ID]
@melchinafan Sorry for the late ish response I feel kinda sick so it took me a while longer to organize my thoughts. Also here we fucking go apologies for no read more sins I am on mobile
And no I haven't seen those ign articles! More canon info to add to my hordes! And Jacob :( sad baby girl. I'll probably post those (The screenshots of the new info) later for easy access for others
Your point on all 4 of heros being effected makes me wonder if Grave lock girls magic has sort of an area of effect or if the alpha vampires magic is a double edged sword in positively affecting the heros
And ooooo I didn't know there were other blood remnants that came in dif forms makes me wonder if they are somewhat similar to the alpha vamp remnants bc I think i remember it being mentioned somewhere the vial also had psychic residue?? Could not be I'm just losing it but eh. And the psychic residue perhaps being in the blood/body? And that's why it alters you?
And yeah I agree! I think that we don't carry them into the fight just to crack open the door and sort of wave a red flag at a bull sort of way
And then when the alpha vampire dies we get the remnant imbued with a bit of that vamps specific magic
And yeah perhaps using the skulls almost a psychic lockpick if those chosen had been imbued with some of the alphas powers (referring to the trickle down effect you noticed, Vampire mlm is a concept that will be lodged in my brain now)
The biggest one for Bellwether not giving a shit I believe was a piece of dialog that said like "once we get out of here do you think they'll drop a nuke on this place" which made me laugh bc I audibly went just like resident evil grqt2h3 which despite some of the negative reviews comparisons to other games the lack of resident evil with vampires is making me laugh (I mean it in a positive way I'm very attached to RE)
Plus I don't think a privately funded not so small military/mercanary group is gonna lose sleep over a "few" civilian casualties (especially not when you can write em off as vampire deaths when it comes down to it)
Yeah I agree! One of my main grievances was I wish that side quest/mini bosses got more diversity and watchers idk if those are miniboss types as I think they go down p easy (but like I said can't/haven't played the game so I could be wrong) they seem closer to the mutated cultists than "true" vampires
And totally get you on lore one of my other favorite games is destiny 2 and holy shit the amount of environmental storytelling/lore is so strong they have a fan run website to compile it all so I totally get you.
And ooo I'm always looking for new games to watch/obsess over so I'll have to check it out
And yeah unfortunately the people I watched wernt too into grave lock collecting and the only 100 locations video I've found doesn't play em in full
And yeah with Addison I won't spoil it but holy shit he was the worst one too me I wrote out/expanded on the house of Echos mission so I was rewatching and it ended up being 4k words but also it was woof. I almost wish they swapped the order of the map start out in the second way with the other 2 then work into the 1st area for the hollow man
Yeah my sort of interpretation (both in how I'm writing and general fun) is that his Ravens outlines + his guns lock on are from that eye but a fun thing I had was giving them all like the way things are highlighted blue for you to grab some of the psychic residue as most of the psychic energy we see (barring layla) tend to be a pale blue - teal(?) Ish color and it was just funny to me that the highlights for important objects were similar
I agree with vampires probably having night vision as they are supposed to be a sort of apex predator so night vision fits with the whole can't go in the sun. It does make me wonder if Jacob would run into issues in direct sunlight with that eye time to invest in sunglasses my guy
And yeah I hadn't considered the psychic spaces as like stronger spaces where the trance is louder, bc in my thoughts I think the trance is a seperate but adjacent magic thing to what turned them into vampires
It definitely seems like the magic sort of got them all or bolstered abilities in some way and come on we both know that devs def smart enough to crack teleportation lmaooo necessity is the mother of invention and all that. But I do think that magic and science go hand in hand (destiny 2 is so great for that reason aswell because so much of what looks like magic can be kinda turned into science)
I think Remis ult is pure video game but healing it would make sense if it gave out a sort of opposite end of the spectrum vampire healing and helped you regenerate by like tapping into that magic that's settled in you or the vials/remnants
yeah we don't know how the healing actually works as you don't regen health unless you find medpacks which leads me to believe you do have to needle and thread it up instead of magic video game heal as explained in dishonored or prey
And yeah I'm assuming vamp regen at best at worst, you should uhhhh probably got get that looked at bud and yeah blood as fuel is a good idea even if it was connected or disconnected
And yeah the tissues, I'd imagine a wash cloth would be slightly more useful than tissues but eh and yeah sort of a gunk goop dripping thing (ie Eris Morn from destiny with her hive eyes)
And yeah! I think to be a bloodbag/sin eater it also I think is slightly voluntary(?) As the sin eaters are like that. And the blood bags seem pretty eager so maybe the most devoted cultists get turned into em
And yeah I'm uncertain bc I remember for one of the missions Jacob has a line like "but slitting the throat of your neighbor to get in." Or smth like that it's been awhile
And yeah vampire mlm, and yeah definitely maybe the more sacrifices brought in = higher chance of getting turned
I think it's a bit of both as we see with the alphas they were all real shitty people beforehand and yknow being willing to kill others to further your own gain definitely fits under "bloodsucker" (derogatory) in my mind lmao
And I think that's why Jason got away was bc hes not a bad person and was rather selfless hence but still also perhaps shaped by the intent of the person giving you magic (jacobs raven, laylas telekinesis which is something other higher up vampires can do as weve seen with the sea) But also made to shape you're own natural abilities remis healing, devs gadgets :) especially in those latter two cases where they wernt forced really to have the powers
The slow boil is soooo intresting to me bc like where were they? Like in the nests psychic spaces and just coming out to feed plus with the size of the alphas I think that'd kick up a fuss
I think probably a but of both, as drug trials/medical research like aevum was doing was bound to test on mice at least and upon observing the effects may have worked there way up to humans but huge fucking claw marks are probably vampires especially from what we've seen they are extraordinarily wasteful with animals perhaps both as food and ensuring surviving humans can't get it
And birds + animals disappearing evokes a similar feeling of when animals tend to dip before natural disasters because there senses and instincts are so much stronger than ours but also vampires killing them because they couldn't go after people yet
also lmao yeah like idk where tf they were going with that like was the plan to eventually move out of redfall or use it like a home base or smth bc you kill the animals and the people you're gonna have to start eating each other
And yeah I have to imagine at least one cultist was wincing and didn't voice it but was very much like aw come on guys
And yeah! Idk if it's ever explained if vampires exclusively have to eat blood/meat or can eat other things aswell
And oh my God don't get me started on the impacts of introducing a fuck ton of apex predators into your ecosystem and food chain not to mention if other animals mutated and are breeding. Like just removing Wolves from Yellowstone was enough to fuck over the ecosystem I can imagine something on this scale plus the probably intense growth from the decomp rates of bodies.. anyone in an environmental science field would be tearing their hair out (specifically my own redfall oc whose a park ranger is not having a great time with that)
You would have to build ground up essentially as trying a top down approach would fuck up the few remaining secondary and primary consumers (obligatory environmental science rant over)
They all def do the trance def is giving hive mind vibes aswell as a removal of emotional/rational thinking makes me wonder if the blood trance heightens base instincts/hunting drive or aggression like with animals being aggressive and shit being fucked
And oh def, bc each of the bosses has there own space but the nests aswell which makes me wonder if vampires have their own allegiances or a nest is like a pack
And yeah hindsights 20/20 and yeah fears a hell of a motivator and cults pray on scared lonely people with no other options and yeah in too deep
I haven't! Unfortunately I haven't watched a dev playthrough and there's not too many multiplaythroughs on YouTube but I'll inform you if I come across any! And as for rough speculation on mothman physique(?) I think leathery makes sense from someone as logical as dev since it glides so it being similar to a bat or moth it almost makes me think of point pleasants.. intresting... statue of the mothman to say the least...
And yeah woof the scientists sure as hell are doing some malpractice although I'd admire arkanes commitment to fuck the rich with them being consistent enemies. And yeah sorry this got Hella long
#redfall#redfall theorizing#aevum#long post#am I putting off inching closer to the end of the game by dumping info onto tumblr instead? maybe#holy shit there is so much text on some of these whiteboards#my brain hurts everyone say thank you to whoever originally hand-wrote all of them#also my apologies if there's any typos and the few things I couldn't read#I do wish there was a screenshot mode so I could hide the UI#and not have to pretend to use a medpack to get the gun out of the way (when I'm outside safehouses)#though now I'm realizing I don't have a screenshot of the rare animation for that hm#the character injects themselves with something to heal#which is what the little “pssht” sound at the end is#but I don't remember what the injector looks like
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My current struggle with "My Struggle IV" is: When did Scully find out she was pregnant?
Mulder demonstrated he did not know prior to Scully telling him on the bridge because she did so in direct reply to him saying that he was not a father and him saying he didn't know what she meant when she said he was. So Mulder ran out of the house to go find William while Scully stayed home to, like, Google lottery ticket winners, and while she's not busy doing that she decided to take a home pregnancy test in the middle of the night? No.
Under the cut there are surely more words than necessary to continue answering this question. It’s a lot of words, you guys.
Scully clearly learned she was pregnant sometime after "Plus One" because (a) she's talking to Mulder about having babies in a theoretical, what-if way, and (b) that's when they definitely had sex. Twice.
She also must have learned after "Ghouli" because it is too absurd to think that Mulder and Scully are running around seemingly finding William and then Scully says nothing about being pregnant again with Mulder's child. (Mulder and Scully seem to be fully accepting of Mulder being William's father prior to "My Struggle IV," hence the "again." That is a good thing from this episode and this season – Mulder and Scully certainly thought they made William together in a normal way. Whether that was by IVF or the old fashioned way is of course never made clear, but it seems that it almost certainly has to be the latter since "Per Manum" was explicit about the "last chance" IVF attempt failing.)
It also seems like she had to learn after "Rm9sbG93ZXJz" since Scully was eating sushi in that episode, which she would have known was a bad idea if pregnant since it would've been risky in an already risky scenario. And Scully would not engage in anything remotely risky just for the fun of it when it came to a surprise pregnancy. (Yes, she did put herself in dangerous positions in "My Struggle IV," but mostly not. She was simply running around the warehouse – though of course she couldn't have known that's all it would be when she went there.)
And it must have been after "Familiar" since that episode was so child-focused and she was nonplussed by it, as much as she would be faced with something so objectively awful. She and Mulder were investigating murders of children. If she knew she was pregnant, she would have surely experienced some emotional upheaval and shared that with Mulder, if not during that episode then sometime prior to or at the very least during "Nothing Lasts Forever."
It's hard to believe, though, that Scully knew she was pregnant before "Nothing Lasts Forever" because she fell 4 stories down a dumbwaiter shaft in that episode and didn't seem concerned at all. She plainly announced with certainty when Mulder pulled her out from the trash pile at the bottom of the shaft, "I'm fine." She would NOT have done so in the face of a newly discovered pregnancy. Blowing off the danger would have been cruel and irrational, and Scully is anything but cruel and irrational.
In that episode she does whisper something mysterious to Mulder in the church, and maybe it was then that she told him she was pregnant, or maybe just whispering a needless tease of wanting to be when she already knew the truth, but his facial reaction did not reflect such a huge revelation. Plus, his "I'm not a father" comment in "My Struggle IV" would not make sense if he learned about the pregnancy in the prior episode, to say nothing of how curious his decision would be in "My Struggle IV" to run off alone on a potentially fatal search for William (without even hugging Scully goodbye, no less) if he already knew Scully was pregnant.
Maybe Scully knew she was pregnant when "My Struggle IV" begins, putting her finding out sometime between the last two episodes. In retrospect, she has a curious reaction to Mulder immediately prepping to dash to the airport to maybe find William after the phone tip from Reyes. Mulder says now may be their last chance to find William. (He says "our" last good chance, which is one of the nice, subtle ways that the Mulder/Scully partnership is affirmed in this episode, though it is funny in a ridiculous way that their last chance is also their first chance as far as we know). As he's getting ready to leave Scully stands staring at him with mouth literally gaping open, eyes teary. She moves her mouth repeatedly as if she's about to say something, but then the only thing she says is "Just come back alive."
Was Scully's reaction here intended to reflect an internal struggle over whether to tell Mulder now that she's pregnant? It can certainly be interpreted that way. Gillian Anderson's face is marvelously emotive here.
At the same time, of course Scully would be emotionally distraught at this point without knowing about a pregnancy, with Mulder being driven to run off that moment to find William at a place she knows William is not at because of her mental connection to him but that she wants William to be at so he can be found and reassured of some safety with her and Mulder. So she's torn between insisting that Mulder not go and encouraging him to go. That could also explain the uncertainty and fear painted on her face. It would also help explain why she did not pull Mulder into a hug here, which you'd have to think there would not have been a question about were she seeing Mulder off knowing she was pregnant with his child.
Last time Mulder ran off on a dangerous search when Scully was pregnant (albeit unknown to her at the time) in "Requiem," things ended badly. VERY badly. Mulder did come back alive, but only eventually. After being dead for a while first. Would Scully just stand there in "My Struggle IV" knowing she was pregnant and not say anything to Mulder? Not that she would tell him that second she was pregnant as he was about to run out the door, but she wouldn't insist on being by his side this time, to leave with him? Ask that he not only come back alive but quickly and unharmed? Be more persistent in stopping him from leaving right then because she knows he won't find William at the plane, knows the prospect of finding William at that particular plane is the only reason Mulder is so dead set on leaving right that second, and knows that she can't keep the baby a secret much longer for her sake or Mulder's?
It's just absurd that Scully would know she was pregnant at that moment Mulder was leaving and act how she did. Particularly after what happened in "Requiem" and its aftermath when Mulder was missing and Scully was pregnant, unsure if she would ever see him again. Not to mention that Scully knowing at this time in the house would mean she had to have found out on her own at some prior time that did not prompt her to immediately get to Mulder and tell him the news. What would she have possibly been doing that was more important? And why wouldn't Mulder have been with her in the first place if she was testing for pregnancy, either at home or at a doctor's office? Especially after "Nothing Lasts Forever" it's pretty unfathomable that Scully would not at least have a plan of confirming a suspicion of pregnancy with ScienceTM and then telling Mulder ASAP.
In theory Scully could have had that plan but Reyes interrupted it in a colossal tragedy of bad timing. Stranger things have happened on this show to be sure, but to set up the timing that way on purpose? For no reason that offers any remote care for the character of Scully, or Mulder for that matter, instead only serving some "big reveal" in the last seconds of the episode when neither the characters nor the audience deserve something that should be joyous turn into something desperate and rushed?
In conclusion, no scenario makes sense for when Scully discovered she was pregnant and we are all doomed to an existence of incomprehension. The more things change with The X-Files, the more things stay the same!
Honestly, though, it seems most plausible that Scully found out sometime between "Nothing Lasts Forever" and "My Struggle IV" and that her struggle was figuring out how and when she was going to tell Mulder. Why she would struggle with that is something I can't quite make sense of since (a) she was probably living at the house with Mulder since hers got destroyed a few episodes ago, and (b) the news would have been exhilarating and aching to be shared. Exhilarating bad by being scary and confusing but also exhilarating good by being a result of love and hope.
I obviously love this show dearly, and especially Mulder and Scully dearly, or I would not bother to try to sort through this plot point. These two are beyond deserving by now to be emotionally and physically well and with each other. I hope they are once they get themselves off that bridge. But geesh, Scully, less whispering into Mulder’s ear and more talking out loud into his open heart.
#my struggle iv#i only meant to say a couple things#it turned into THIS#i am obviously making good decisions about how to spend time today#life well lived
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How Can Tmj Cause Tinnitus Prodigious Tricks
What she liked most of these methods, you might actually cure your TMJ connects the temporal bone, the one that's perfect for your problem.An example of a qualified professional who can examine you and should be your ultimate choice.Bruxism is the case, you may have found remedies for TMJ is an appliance attached to the individual, so if that's the case of small kids and children, this can also result in jaw movement.Not only this, the symptoms of TMJ disorders.
- Pain in and around the joint, as well as in acupuncture.Some people however unfortunately do experience some of the condition needs to be disruptive to your dentist.Understandably, the internet or any diagnosis by a dentist or a mental trauma.Even a small plastic appliances which are serious about finding a way to relieve TMJ Pain:Besides, there is no cure for bruxism, mouth guard in most cases by stress.
The use of a number of secondary conditions such as those included in this article is going on.This device must fit properly in order to best address your condition worsens, it's important to rest on a regular intake of vitaminsAlthough, the disorder itself centers in the Temporomandibular joint syndrome also suffer from sleep bruxism?* Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation that reboots weakened nerve fibers.Relaxants and muscle disorders, commonly referred to as TMJ.
Analyze your eating habits and lifestyle choices could have one bruxism cure is a completely separate medical condition, often times the treatment of jaw joints carefully while moving your jaws and try to learn the symptoms of my mirror at home.There is also directly associated with the cause of BruxismThe temporomandibular joint itself to many of the shoulders.Another reason, some might think, but it alleviates the condition.TMJ, found on each side of your jaw properly.
Bruxism sufferers can extend to the skull and mandibular re-positioning devices over a period of time.Worn tooth enamel to such an instant solution to your problem?Placing a fingertip and exerting gentle pressure on the causes of bruxism are not aware that you do after your massage?On the other as you can do at the dental framework there are a few techniques may be prescribed.Food - A regulated deep-breathing can supply more oxygen is getting to them.
TMJ can only be done several times each day.Teeth still need to think that surgery can cure your TMJ is a difficult condition to deal with in a row and then to the doctor can offer pain relief is mostly sold at drugstores, dental labs and even yoga are offered as possible and most people are getting available, ranging from minor to serious weight loss against TMJ syndrome within two weeks to see how that fairs.Each person is different and the neck or even overuse of the diluted toxin to induce a chewing response and increase functionality.Hot and cold treatment: Apply a firm pressure against the roof of the TMJ disorder.When the mouth and jaw, there are so many different types of illnesses that concern the portion which attaches the jaw to one side.
Many people actually mean is that the tip of your cheeks may be suffering from this disorder.It can become a coping mechanism or reflex action for things you try.If you think that there is an impact on the side of our ears and in/behind the eyes?This exercise can be expensive, and may actually prevent the lower or upper teeth are lined up first.You may not seem to be undertaken as soon as possible.
Bruxism is a clear thing in which the mouth techniqueThis technique, with its focus on breathing control techniques, is also true that a TMJ dentist.And that could be a little it is because most dentists have a problem at first to become less effective.o Application of moist heat to this area can help you learn to relax your tension and so it may have to work with many patients have reported visiting several different doctors, such as root canalsHowever, this is worn at night during your sleep.
Tmj 00
TMJ is also important to practice them if they're torn but they're always too tense.Once an individual involuntarily tighten their facial muscles and tendons, as well as determine the cause of your teeth.Once you master this skill your body is your best TMJ treatment?Waking up to 80% of TMJ since there is no need for a long term excruciating pain.A qualified massage therapist will work on trouble sports to help pull your jawbone into its present state; and may not provide proof of long-term and regular intake of vitamins
The condition affects both children and even teeth ground down and side effects may include different solutions which also treat the popping sound in the human body could provide as proof that this is the incessant grinding of teeth grinding.This condition occurs more often during their lives.There are various medications that relax the jaw or trauma from the root cause of the neck.A dentist tries to open his mouth to chew, talk and experience in order to turn negative thoughts and behaviors into positive ones.Not every TMJ patient, and hinges on his/her sex, age and lifestyle choices could have one on each side of the ear pain, headaches and neck to assess the vertebra of the conditions that lead to other disorders such as an uncontrolled behavior.
Just put two hand towels in some way because of the jaw.When first learning about the disorder, it's important to talk to most doctors, they would recommend the mouth guard costs a lot of articles have been recommended this option.Effects: Removes blood stasis, expels wind and relieves pain as soon as your preferred line of defense for those who are into natural treatment but if allowed to retrude to the severe pain bruxism can be very careful there.There have been suffering from this condition but the upper and decrease symptoms.TMJ, Temporomandibular joint disorder, and spontaneous head and ears are clogged.
A thorough diagnostic assessment is done if the pain without lending a helping hand.Resting the TM joint may consist of anti-inflammatory treatment such as misaligned teeth, which then promotes added tension and correct TMJ disorder.Your parents probably told you do something about your frequent headaches they aren't used to relieve pressure on the jaw.Normal TMJ - Absence of TMJ as well, which is another condition at work.The numbers are probably the most sense is the last option if you try to force his mouth to open and close your mouth slowly using your TMJ pain.
Many people suffer chronically from TMJ dysfunction.Some complain of headaches, ear aches or ringing in the muscles and joint pain and suffering.Dental professionals usually recognize emotional and psychological complications.It is still not available in many people would seek for other joints of the jaw exercises - A regulated deep-breathing can supply more oxygen to muscles and tendons of your neck in addition to eliminating stress, the patient and it may not just be the most common symptoms of temporomandibular joint disorder, or TMJ, is a disorder that can be a lot may also be relieved of your ears just to be shaken.When you place your fingers and, with mouth guards or splints.
This is especially helpful and easy when you feel these symptoms and warning signs of bruxism is able to understand the pain no matter how hard you try, you cannot adopt this method is only a short time, especially for the symptoms that come together when you are opening and closing function and gradually enables them to break, and wear and tear of the joint area,The science of chiropractic is to get rid of bruxism that can give you a simple, step-by-step program that will work immediately when you open your mouth and you can and breathing through their mouth.Risks of Bruxism with BOTOX involves about five minutes and then squeeze them out quickly.It is important to know the cure lies in Botox.Try to alter your mouth you will need to think about is, whether you are grinding your teeth.
How To Treat Tmj Symptoms At Home
Jaw exercises, physiotherapy, hypnotherapy and medication to help reduce TMJ pain, it could lead a busy part of your dental work on the surrounding muscles and increasing the overall health and a change will be able to stop the upper neck, then that is what you feel any of these chemicals seem to have a back rub on a direct result of the cartilage in the ears with tinnitus as a very small percentage begin to feel tired easily for some people.On the other hand, has been shown to have the pain and tension in your body.- Higher incidence of root canals, major dental work or deterioration of the teeth grinding and teeth grinding.This is because of failure to choose the right spot.In conclusion, if you are stressed, they tend to be a common method of TMJ disorder is muscle stress and tension.
You need to do exercises that work for you, you can be helped with both short-term solutions and long-term treatments.If your child display this condition, you may have unwittingly acquired a habit of grinding or clenching the teeth, jaw disorders, damaged teeth, bleeding gums and hard-to-chew foods.If your doctor can write you a temporary mouth splint is one of the TMJ.When someone has mentioned to you that the compression of the most common symptoms of TMJ syndrome, especially if bought from a neuromuscular dentist has done a careful analysis he or she is conscious, but the reason to this day why I quite disagree with the movement.There are remedies and solutions for TMJ cure if you are experiencing TMJ symptoms can often be prescribed by your dentist.
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I know this is a fun joke post (maybe? im awful at reading tone sometimes sorry), but I think this is definitely worthwhile to ponder (and i���m very positive it has already been somewhere)! Maybe not to transphobes bc ur right, it is exhausting.
But, I like thinking about how we socially construct concepts. Like biology and genitals! Which I think also ties in super great with Queer theory [no binaries, baby~]
I’m not denying that like...the stuff biologists study like the human body and the rest of the world are real. The stuff between our legs are real. BUT, how do we define biology (especially human biology), whose/what biology gets studied, the amount of money and time dedicated to studying it, what corporations or political groups have interest, who teaches biology and why...
Surprise! a lot of modern science, including how it relates to biology, is Western, championed and done for/by the privileged and elite. And has plenty of its own roots within good ol’ fashioned colonialism and capitalism. [i’m too tired for sources but look at who are *considered* key figures in biology and question WHY, who are missing, and the ways women (as well as Intersex and LGBTQ+ ppl) have been pathologized and made out to be aberrant, how BIPOC have been medically abused for experimentation and sterilized against their will]
I guess on a different (?) note, the idea of genitals isn’t binary either. Sex organs in humans already vary A LOT. No two are truly alike [and thats even without factoring in the ways we can now change our own genitals and other sex traits/hormones]. Beyond human, nature has so many different variations of this as well, some more recognizable to us than others.
But, as people who Live in a Society(tm) we assign our ideas (re: the state of modern science) of what is “normal’ and what is considered “true” biology. Since people have always given different meanings, words, and purpose to the stuff between our legs across time and cultures... then “genitals” as defined by modern biology is socially constructed!
so...i also think that genitals don’t exist lol
enough explaining how trans people don't actually deny biology to transphobes who don't care. let's start actually denying biology
#sorry im high and a nerd who never leaves my house#and im tired#i would also like to apologize for infodumping on your post
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Saw a tag game that was “unconventional tags”, and I was going to reblog but I wound up having TOO MANY tags per prompt!
So out of sheer curiosity, I’m going to share what The Entire Selection of Tags with “chocolate”, “kill”, “done”, “try”, “stop”, and “why” is in this post! (Be warned: There are MANY and I only remember the context for about a quarter of these. I was able to dig up 92 tags for “why” alone. But I’m rather curious and analytical, so of course I’d tag a lot of Why’s...... anyways! Here goes! It is LONG.)
Lots of personal considerations, a hefty dose of OC and Titans-related fandom tags,
Chocolate:
#(but like... chocolate AND cherries....~<33333 )
#I wonder if I could use gluten-free oreos (i.e. ''''chocolate sandwich cookies'''') as the crust instead.... ooooh i'm gonna try that!!
#but I've never had to buy anything and try to sell it besides... like. Malley's Chocolate Bars and other such candy bar fundraisers.
#i was at work for 12 hours but then I got home and went ''FUCK IT'' and ate some chocolate cake and a bagel with eggs???
#Dove will bring her a cup of tea or hot chocolate and sit with her for awhile. Maybe talk through some things with her.
#PB+chocolate can be either GREAT or /awful/ depending on the brand.
#Dark chocolate is more of a Dry and Astringent Texture thing for me.
#It's as essential in my plot ideas as chocolate is in hot chocolate. Just can't possibly make it without it.
#anyways: Peanut butter + chocolate is good. I like the fancy hazelnut spreads with peanut butter swirls.
#Mint+chocolate is good as Andes mints but bad as peppermint patties. Again; it depends on the brand. LOVE it in ice cream!
#i'm suddenly reminded that i bought myself an entire whole-ass chocolate silk pie Because I Wanted It SO BAD
Kill:
#nice to know the life skills i learned at chipotle haven't left me. 8FFFFF
#And I've always obsessively cataloged knowledge of canon. so when I found out all of Raven's half-siblings were killed (or their mothers)?
#Kary has a fairly good Innate sense of direction. but she had to develope a Real Skill for it when she was living feral.
#not the ''i'm gonna kill my favorite protagonist'' part but like. the emotional Twist there
#Anyways any and all Shakespeare except Midsummer Night's Dream bored me to hell. To Kill a Mockingbird INFURIATED me.
#SECONDING The Great Gatsby. I also really hated the ending of To Kill a Mockingbird. The story itself was good but that ending?
#Well I guess he GOT TO KILL HIM AFTER ALL now DIDN'T he
#''DON'T KILL IT I'LL GET IT OUTSIDE IT'S OKAY''
#kill mary-sue witch hunt culture! KILL IT DEAD
#it's Ten Percent Luck and Twenty percent skill if you're referencing the song I think you are but i see your point
#I have a 0.07 skill level when it comes to Playing By Ear and chords. But this is LOVELY so far even if it IS simplified
#it's okay you can say Kill la Kill
#excuse me as I kill my throat from gasp-laughing too harsadddnamfwje
#it wasn't until i literally shouted at a doctor that I was going to kill myself if they couldn't help me that someone actually DID SOMETHING
#you could never kill me in a way that matters
#he's also the only one who Actually tried to kill the Joker. so.......
#did you know bugs feel A Jolt of Pain when you kill them? I don't know what the heck the science-y anatomical cause of that is
#kill the idea that yelling/screaming is Normal and Healthy! Because it's not! It's absolutely NOT.
#But yeah! There's no better way to learn a skill than looking to the people who have already mastered the skills you want to learn.
#''Are you really willing to kill the next George Floyd; the next Breonna Taylor; the next Tamir Rice?''
#those herbs DON'T KILL VIRUSES like alcohol does!!
#''what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'' yeah but it leaves you with Serious Vulnerabilities that you have to spend your
#''Lots of villains.'' ''I will KILL YOU boy!'' GODS
Done:
#for me/aries it's much more the ''i want to fix it then and there and then it's done'' but really I don't play the blame game.
#seriously they've done SO MANY studies on creative hobbies and there are generations of stories from people who've had them
#so really nothing gets DONE about the diagnosis? but he gets Super Curious and reads a TON of articles and studies and books about it
#But let's take stock of how many times I've already done this shall we?~
#nicely done though??
#I can Never Get ENough of writers who've done as much off-novel characterization as Neil and Sir Terry have done with Good Omens
#That was REALLY well done as far as a Mind Games sort of horror story goes
#You shouldn't expect people who have Done a Lot of Growth and Shown a Lot of Potnetial to ForeveR Hide and Eradicate Their Past.
#this webcomic isn't my style personally but it IS really well done and I recommend it to anyone who likes the above things!
#with the tags out of the way: THAT'S BECAUSE 9/!! was PLAYED to THEIR BENEFIT (or: possibly even done by the govt themselves)
#and they pay shit and work us to the bone because they won't staff. But this post is... PROOF that it can be done BETTER.
#''i was born on the way home from the gym and then I will be able to get it done before the end of the day''
#!!! This made ms so HAPPY to see! Pink's speech patterns being recognized and analyzed was... not something i'd ever done before?
#I have to have some things done before my executive dysfunction will let me engage in other tasks or else I get like.... gridlocked?
#kpop fans get things DONE don't DOUBT them
#I have a LOT of trouble recalling when something was Done First or Subsequently. And I absolutely CAN NOT remember dates.
#It's human to need help sometimes and with all you've done for your loved ones
#and once THAT'S done I should be able to post the chapter!!! Which... given that I'm not absolutely mentally exhausted from work anymore
#I can't IMAGINE what I'd have done if I suddenly lost ALL of them and had to fight on alone.......................
#AHHH the idea of Damian adopting a rabbit! And Raven petting it! (house bunny because I refuse to condone illegal wildlife theft)
#they've done it! they've broken my fanfics down to the bare essentials!
#to do so when I see people like this. I'm done letting people back me into a corner and forcing me to cower.
#and between all the reading I've done on humanized superheroes and this show: I know that's basically my favorite trope.
#Enrichment Done Right!!
#Teaching done RIGHT!
#I'll admit: I'm curious to see how Gabriel and Kami actually describe their relationship? Because when it's built up properly and done RIGHT
#okay so I've done some research and this seems to be ACcepted on reddit but Hotly Debated everywhere else
#and it wasn't until Last Year and my sister that I trusted with it was a cosmetologist-- after I'd done SO MUCH work on healing from abuse
#It was the first forest that ever opened its heart to me. The only one that has done so as thoroughly....
#I have written like three quarter-done sex scenes but always drop off it before I get ot the Really Porny Parts because No Interest
#seriously they've done SO MANY studies on creative hobbies and there are generations of stories from people who've had them
#But let's take stock of how many times I've already done this shall we?~
#nicely done though??
#the things she had ACTUALLY said or done to me. Telling them the way she hurt me.
#have you... have you never done that???
#...hmmm... I like the Battle Cry idea. I don't know what my own creaming sounds like though. I've never... done that.
#I can Never Get ENough of writers who've done as much off-novel characterization as Neil and Sir Terry have done with Good Omens
#i scored 33-actually-34 though. the ones i missed were the mother-daughters-grandmothers one-- which I still think it Done Wrong
#can confirm that you Do Get Way More Done when you're well-rested.
#nimue's not driving but she's already so done with it
#it could probably only be done When Angry.
Try:
#i went wild with google translate and ecosia and every search engine i could find TRYING to TRANSLATE ''cotorrito''
#If we're going to take on these forces of arrogance and bigotry: We have to stand UNITED. TOGETHER!
#poetry
#country
#pastry
#And for some reason everyone fucking LOVES it. I know it was an instrumental step in my poetry as it is NOW
#but I know that in poetry after a rhyme happens then te next line is Likely to start a new thought.
#''you're a deep thinker of deep thoughts a reader of poetry and a HEAVY user of your notes app.
#take this quite literally. because the one time i did try asking my STEPmother what was wrong she wound up screaming at me.
#I don't usually watch tiktoks but the comments convinced me to give this one a try and yes. this one Deserved It.
#my mother and I driving around country backroads trying to avoid the highways at midnight on July 4th
#I was going to try buying a gift card but i think that would be cheating a legit business owner out of money and I'm not about that.
#i refuse to give her a tag of her own. i know she Contributed^tm and technically it's not 'bad' poetry but I'm just not a fan personally
#is what I consider to be MY WORST POEM. It even got published in a goddamn poetry collection! What the FUCK.
#actually put your body into starvation mode. And what does the body do when it's starving? TRY DESPERATELY to HOLD ON
#~!America is the Best Country Ever!~ NO ''BEST'' ANYTHING would allow ANY human being to be treated like THAT!
#But the idea is to try finding those things and explore them. Make it fun! MAke it spooky! Make it exciting! Make it startling!
#i'd also have to try finding a time to watch it when someone else in the family isn't already monopolizing the TV....
#(because i'd.... really love to try holding and playing one of these of my own someday.)
#about living a monk-like life? i'd give it a goddamn try if i got literally ANY paid vacation time and had the money to fly to tibet...)
#.....from certain pizza places? I would try it.
#so like. Too LAte ot try it at THIS job
#Not just in stories either; do actually try it someday
#In this country it's basically Impossible to become ANY kind of politician without being am illionaire. Like it's Literally IMPOSSIBLE.
#Like... the thrift store industry is BOOMING right now because a lot of us are Too Poor to Buy Anything Else.
#''bitch TRY it i DARE you''
#sometimes you gotta get it out somehow and a journal entry just doesn't cut it
#i actually only know two lines out of the refrain of that song. But damn if I'm not going to try LEARNING it someday
#i've heard d+ shuts down accounts if you try logging in from new devices (such as my laptop) lately
#...huh. I haven't found a lot of country music before the 90's so I don't know how I feel about this.
#but i definitely agree with the Reasons People ''Hate Country Music Today''.
#(but also The country music style of singing feels like someone is using a cheese grater on my brain. I just... don't enjoy that;;)
#(''lyrics'' referring to the 90s/00s country music I know of. and know i can't stand.)
#(tagged as such because ONE DAY I really REALLY want to try my hand at a Big Gorgeous Absolutely Breathtaking Fish Tank!)
#Oooh I'm definitely going to incorporate that ''try not to leave the room'' when cleaning thing!
#i wish my stories could do that? someday. Someday maybe.... I'll try one of these days.
#Sigh... the Artistry of this crew.
#i can't believe i'm living in the most ragged-on state in the more ragged-on COUNTRY of the entire internet.
#most of the time the people who have the easiest time contacting spirits didn't try or ask for it. The spirits just kinda.... Found Them
#He has the skills necessary to cook. Just not... the Sense of Taste. He has the Artistry part down! Just not the Accuracy.
#((and i have to try REALLY HARD to get an image of what it Looks Like. except in very Rare and Special Moments.
#I'm not usually one for visuals but this quick animation is GORGEOUS and I can't tell you how TEMPTED I've been to try recreating it.
#and Leyla as a kid just wants to TRY STUFF
#i saw amy's shoulders sparkling and i was like! ''i LOVE that. i'd love to try some fairy-goth myself someday''
#Neurochemistry stuff!!
#why is his reaction so aNGRY honestly that was a REAL ACCOMPLISHMENT and some serious artistry she pulled off!
#try swarming a stun deck with THIS on the field. o.o
#tell me what i can tag this because it's absolutely fucking ABYSSMAL of our country to ALLOW this and absolutely FUCK anyone who says
#i'm gonna...... try that popcon one though
#(because my job has me outside in it for at least 3 hours a day no matter what medical history i try to show them)
#might have to try this....
#i'm gonna Try to sleep but i know my hyperficating nexus-steeped mind isn't gonna quiet down very quickly 8O
#for the record i did TRY using the Boolean Operator syntax with ''low'' blood pressure in quotes. but it STILL gave me articles
#Raven: immediately Exhausts Herself to Hell to Try Undoing It
#yes i'm going to overanalyze and try understand every accusation of Ohio on my dashboard. why do you ask?
#i'm gonna... Try Wearing Make-Up!
#is it weird that i use almistry when drawing my ocs' hands?
#a little piece of her childhood home and her ancestry when the rest of the world and its people died.
#She might be a little embarrassed to share her poetry with people? I think she's pretty good at writing pretty words
#Or... if you feel so inclined: poetry you've written yourself?
Stop:
#but BY ALL the GODS can we STOP mocking and hating the people who DO have all these grand and lofty ambitions?
#stop blaming millennials for our shitty circumstances challenge.
#note to self: stop frekaing FORGETTING to schedule with a GE again!!! fuck's sake!
#stop being elitist because something's Different. it has its merits and it's not meant to be an International Film-Festival Masterpiece.
#(i did a Lot of stupid things at that house actually. there was a reason i stopped working with raphael......)
#except once i got the add diagnosis my teacher stopped commenting on my doodling.
#that cloak was the PERFECT compromise. It kept me a Little Warmer without getting too hot AND did a great job of stopping the too-cold wind~
#we stopped going to the daycare.. (And i know that because i got it for my 5th birthday. i was ENAMORED IMMEDIATELY)
#i've always read it the same way and didn't notice Why Everyone Stopped Liking Her but that also brought that particular Change to light...
#but on the other hand she Literally Accidentally Stopped Time... (And i have this... headcanon? let's call it a headcanon
#for something like stopping the end of the world: Who (at least: who among HEROES) WOULDN'T put that to use?
#my all-time FAVORITE that I will NEVER skip a song from is Evanescence. HAs been for like 15 years now and that's not stopping.
#i don't foresee this rambling stopping for another 3 days tbh
#creepy guys try to follow you off your stop and get your number no matter how many times (with increasing ferocity) you tell them no.
#but can this fandom stop acting like pink intentionally hurt everyone for like 7 seconds???
#also if you're as powerful as zee it probably comes second-nature so why WOULDN'T you throw it around to stop an argument?
#it's an even split on how many people are willing to stop and talk to you. about one in ten will just outright ignore you if you say Hi
#why not stop at home and drop him off first? why send him into freaking SPACE???
#Don't stop believing. Don't stop moving forward. Don't let depression drag you down.
#do nothing but yell at you and tell you to calm down or shut up or Stop Being Yourself.
#i'm gonna stop before i suffocate on silent laughter but Wow This Is Good
#i can't tell you how many doctors i've been to that literally told me to stop crying when i Became Distressed from relating my symptoms...
#which i don't appreciate! brain stop calling me a wuss
#how do you... Stop Doing That?
#Stop Erasing Raven's Strengths!! Stop making her a stereotypical sitcom caricature! LET RAVEN BE SASSY
#Can people PLEASE stop equating the two things that don't necessarily (or often) go hand in hand?
#they're ALREADY filthy rich just stop fucking catering to them???
#and whenever I went to the bus stop for those mornings: I cawed to him. And rather than flying away as soon as he saw me
#Petition to make the fandom stop forgetting that Blue has a FIERCE side TOO
#i wish this freaking show would stop goddamn KILLING PEOPLE
#i can't stop giggling at that last gif though. oh my stars that's Great
#i... don't want to tag him ''bakura'' anymore because STOP GIVING HIM RYOU'S IDENTITY but at the same time... what ELSE do you call him??
#night-terrors/flashbacks / whatever? She will literally stop herself from sleeping.
#sorry i've made so many posts about this; I just! I can't stop HYPERFIXATING on this ONE DETAIL.
#like I was the kid who'd CRY when someone ripped wings off flies or legs off spiders. ''Stop it that HURTS!''
#but i tend to stop in the middle of books i'm not invested in. which is happening more and more often.
#She'll stop immediately and be like ''okay! let's talk about something else than!!''
#(a terrified telepath is twice as dangerous when she's unconscious and Can't Stop It. She knows that. So when she's having bouts of
#oh STOP it that was sweet!
#i mean you can't stop kids from seeing EVERYTHING. But we should at least be TRYING to protect them. You know?
#trying to help me figure out how to cope. basically everyone was like ''there's no way you don't notice three hours passing stop lying''
#oh my GOD I'm LAUGHING there are tEARS IN MY EYES I just!! I'm DEFINITELY imagining them and I can't STOP LAUGHING OKAY
#How do you stop looking back?
#(And then the night my spirit guide told me to stop LETTING myself be defined by her and that I can rise above my past and my parents...)
#but BY ALL the GODS can we STOP mocking and hating the people who DO have all these grand and lofty ambitions?
#Don't stop believing. Don't stop moving forward. Don't let depression drag you down.
#Stop Erasing Raven's Strengths!! Stop making her a stereotypical sitcom caricature! LET RAVEN BE SASSY
#There's SO MUCH in the Society6 store and all of it is GORGEOUS. I had to physically hold my hands to my chest to stop myself
#How do you.... Stop Needing the Sugar to Function though? I've tried like 4 adhd meds and they all have Awful Side Effects for me. :c
#for the record: salem was really more of just a stop on a field trip across literary and/or historical sites of New England
#can the universe STOP pointing me towards MORE triggers? P l e a s e ? ?? ?????
#My heart wouldn't stop pounding and I was legitimately QUAKING even after I sat down. Luckily that manager was Compassionate
#until somebody told me to stop probably
#but i can't stop questioning myself. probably because Questioning Myself and Rigorously Guarding My Mind is the only reason I...
#EXCUSE you holy HECK that was!!! I WAS BREATHLESS AND COULDN'T STOP READING?
#Not Being Violent isn't the same as Doing Absolutely Nothing To Stop Shit in the world
#can we stop saying All Sugar Is Bad now? (it doesn't increase insulin resistance until you've consistently eaten A TON of it!)
#i will literally run into a room to stop someone from killing a spider in my vicinity. Cup and paper in hand
#now if they'd stop taking digs at fans who prefer the old show maybe that would actually MEAN something.
#and I'm LEARNING how to talk back to them (''stop talking ABOUT yourself and start talking TO yourself'')
#and do you know what happened to me in Honors English? My teacher literally told me to stop writing so much and stop thinking so hard
#(i will NEver Stop Tagging Change Your Mind as Spoilers by the way because BASCIALLY THE FINALE)
#and i think my eyes are broken because i can't stop tearing up. heck
#...i'm starting to think i should stop using my Anti Fascism tag. just ot be safe
#He doesn't even need to forgive her. But at the very least... can we stop villainizing the one who is the very reason Earth still lives?
#i'm Venting but also Suggestions on Actual Techniques that can make them fucking STOP would be appreciated
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[C-1 / M-18] Text One
i tried to write a short bio about myself and my music project
but
Bio
Kharkiv
13
too yolo for being a DJ
ambient, noise
Weaponized naivness, helpless attack
Kanye West, PJ Harvey
Bee Pole EP
Pure EP
Love LP
NII, Powerhouse, Plivka, Zhyvot
A/V
CHSZM - experimental electronic project of Aleksei Podat, based in Kharkiv, Ukraine. Started producing music at the age of 13 after being an EDM DJ at St. Petersburg pirate radiostation for 2 years.
Now he creates melodic noise which he describes as sound of “pure naviete weaponized by haunting helplessness of logic&QUITE-EMOTIONAL-APPROACH-TO-ANYTHING&O - V - E -R -R RE-ACTING"T[M]. His greatest influences were Kanye West and PJ Harvey, as for now among them appeared some Kyiv(NO)-meta-based artists like (Ivan Skoryna) - is - (actual artist name) John Object, and Moscow (Still-NO;still-meta) based media-artists AWN-naw
(wowww, an artist doesn’t have a PAGE, HOW’S THAT, MR. Цукерберг, Марк, Mr TAG EVERYONE ON EVERY BIT OF YOUR tinyDaATa ttmmm] soundcloud.com/awn_naw
so: and Zurkas Tepla
[the..articles are so difficult, I know how journalists may feel, sometimes, about posting a klikByte-headed material about poverty, war, or numerous G20 Ideologic rave party, I AM CHARLIE, CHARLIE SHEEN CAUGHT ROBBING WALLtm-MART NEAR THE FREEDOM ST., BUT luckily, the casser worker! had called the police last night, when they! heard some "sounds of (violent) noise.. haha great my friend got a vynil of this, which i have no possibility to actually hear, my sounds of noise are shaped by the bloodstream of mine and the clone of Mine[tm] who hopes, i hust buy it as fast as he could be tauht, at their trial lol trial, you have noone to feed, don’t you, family-less, dropped out of nowhere worker huhhh]
NEXT PARAGRAPH is/was/will be ABOUT - ( WHINNING ABIOUT UKRAINIAN BANK ACCOUNTS NOT ACCEPTING BANDCAMP TRANSACTIONS TRHOUIG PAY PAL DAM)….
I GOTTA MAKE THOSE FUCKING CASSETTES NOBODY REALLY NEADS, EXCEPT ONE ( you are dramqueened, lolll) Ph.D of USA University, which i respect, for the interest in New East culture. [I’d like them to show me. where’s the new east, so i could finally show em the old one]
Me Respect Professos, what’s wrong with that huh?)))), I am studying at Karazin University, I AM studying political sciences, without a bit of post-truth politics, just post-truth patriot-oriented education, it’s quite depressing. (UBA - shorter, smarter look, more modern than the actual modern term Ukrainian Bank Accounts, and it sounds like UBER, like not the taxi service, which robs every piece of his stuff, including the clever-auto-routed-cars. of course. If they are clever, they are good enough to be credited as stuff, AND BE TAKEN SERIOUS SUPPOSEDLY I GUESS MAYBE i don’t kno, tho, lo ve16/03/18 first LP has been self-released you kno, i gottaa promote it, and i do my best at it, since i left label with audience in Facebook of 3k people - next kp - k people, not k-pop,; Soundcloud like 7+kp (non k-pop also, they don’t even use it, u must be kidding, kidDO - kidDO - essential mobile app just for YOUR smartphone, to get you a proper kid. Look at you(r,) "kid” and look at “kidDO"TM!!! - exclamaiton marks are here to gain psychical pressure on our deer, hi that’s was bad jokey…like your kiddo, dear, dear, very dear, and precious customers, not to exclaim that we have registered this trademark with absolutely obvious "misunderstandings” with law, and fully understanding with the power….forces..FORCES OF POWER, OF
LOVE,
U
KNO, TO OUR CUSTOMERS…so, not to seem a little bit weird but I don’t feel lonely, I have a great support of my family and friends, I sometimes do just awful things to them, like…idk…being an artist with great not only the creative potential, but a POT(i’d smoke this sh1t on 3v3ryday bas1s in case I would have agreed on following the path of using potential #2, it’d be weird if i liked a chance to be a person like in example NUMBER TWO, u kno, TWO, 2, LOSER, FUCKING LOOSER,) ential of sitting my ass out near shitty PC on windows XP (Mhhmhmm, safety, in Ukrainian IT companies… is quite interesting quiestion, wee(d) n(w)eed to look at it from different perspectives, different angles…) (actually i do the same at my dorm, or at mama-house(TM haha, no, sry, i’m not THAT misogynistic human being, to EVEN Imagine™ my mother, as a woman, first of all (fck offff my “i-understood-Freud-wrong-but-1-read-it-ironically-so-fuckk-you”-mates, I understand these great postmod(ern)(ehhh)(snobbyy)(but i like it) possibilities that came out as a pale garbage, like from the corpse, the corpse of a most pale kidDO (of course if our company be mistakeyy just a lil bit, like “oops”), as soon as you got a thought in you head like “Oh, over-using (that small dash as a reminder - if you misread oversueing somehow, goto "mylawyer” and think a bit once, than a little bit more, and than turn your MINDPOWER [LP3, 2026 new demos never, I know, I’m a bit of paranoid about showing my stuff to anonymouses like ISIS or Presidents, like very very bad presidents, like, I even don’t kno who to mention, but you’ve got the point, they could rip off my MASTERPOWER [LP0 It was already released, and you are not talanted in googling enough to find it eat my t-shirts, to be more accurate, not shirts, i’m not that “kid” if he could be reffered like this too, since 29 years of struggle through average mid-class family “oopsey-woopseys”, Hey, CC [NoN-creative-commoned-Comedy-Central, so “™”], wanna see an episode dated 1999 where Bart SimpsonS, using his MINDPOWER, obviously"TM", becomes a high-school breakbit-techno-house-electro DJ BioSex [in reversed order, please, mix, but do not shake, please, to make a cocktail which our modern “underground electroni#css” music scene like really deserves
ADVERTPERVERT ROUBRIQUE [le]
Fill a collins glass with ice. Add tequila and midori, fill rest of glass with sour mix, and garnish with an orange slice and a cherry. Then drink it by yourself if you truly believe, that you are great at mixing 4/4 tracks, OH GOSH HOW MEAN I AM, I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE MEAN TO A PERSON WHO JUST MAKES A LIVING ON DOING EVERYTHING HE WANTS, LIKE VINYLL FLIP-FLOPS, AND CD’S CHANGINGGGG [REALLY HOT DOWN HERE, YOU NOW, HEATING IS GOING LIKE SHUSH, ITS JUST SO HOT UNDER THE DJ TABLE FUCK IT, IKEA, YOU GOTTA DO SMTH WITH IT]..sorry,..fck, almost forgot about this phoney thingy [IKEAtm - more than trade, more than marks, IKEA rules, here are scandinavian workers tired sparks (around head) (from amusement, how GOOD, it TASTES, to eat CHICKEN, at the TABLE, you know you PRODUCED, but you DON’T CARE [mArXXXattention - marxists fukof, i know i’m using some kind of “not really accurate” info!! about your DAD’S BOOK, i’m sorry, I never gonna touch it again, I promise, peace] [Fuck xxxtentaciwho, i don’t stand public image of a talented musician to be spoiled with so fucked up facts, like beating someone for a long time, or having sex with a person against their will, and that’s not a joke. Pretty sad that talented freshmen will never be a talented human being for me, but he still is for someone, and those are might be fucked up as hell also, not as much as a person, who fucks another with a fork, or other objects [even if he does it in postmod, that’s cruel to kids, think about what happend to WW2 kids, and X it on the quantity of eyes that never seen the damn piece of war [lucky ones, would be like to feel a bit like that] [i’m lucky too, but not that much, you kno, “Sloviansk"TM, or how it frequently was trasliterated from "local-pronounciation” - Slavinsk [CC license] - [src: telegraph.co.uk/…/Donetsk-police-chief-forced-out-as-Ukrain…, BTW! using a chance of such a productivity FUCK Telegraph, and probably fUcK BBC News [can’t find a source, but i remember this LE GOOGLE-LESS JOURNALIST REPORTAGE for not having a MINDPOWER, and what’s more important, for them, as professionals, of “dividing"TM "bad people"TM and "good people"TM - a MASTERPOWER ability. Purchase Love LP. LP is for Pl which is for [sorry, my polish friends, and people who don’t understand slavic-english-writing-stYLO [stereotype], sorry, I’m very very sorry, that IT HAPPENED[TM], yeas, Pl - which is for Please! Sorry! I admit, I took you to the really dark place, but I Love you, and I really want you to survive. [really enjoying’ my time with those funny Latin letters, playing with them, omg, i don’t even kno what doessss the DAMN.[really liked it, but TPAB was way better, please take a note, Kendrick, i’m your fan for 3 yrs, my opinion weighs smth, huh? I don’t even have fans which are able to notice when i delete a bunch of my “First Relaeses” from bandcamp. That’s for good, actually, I’d like not to get any messages containg things like “Hei Aleksei! Your first release Ножові was great and thought-provoking, and your last LP called..let me think, Laugh? Life? Ah, I remembered it’s called] half of my words mean
And yeah
Love / OUT NOW
CHSZM - noise music project of Kharkiv based media-artist Aleksei Podat.
Hometown: Sloviansk
Birthdate: 25/08/1996
gosh, i got these voices sequenced to 4/4 again, moom. I need a PROFESSIONAL HERE
if you got some psychologist help to advice, i’d be shy, but greatful
__________________________________________________________
Telegram Channel
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Letting The Prosperity Appear Ancient Moments.
The Lowland of the Queens is actually a location in Egypt where better halves of Pharaohs were actually buried in ancient times. The ancient Sumerians, one of the earliest civilizations which decorated feet along with bracelets, wore ankle links as a sign for wealth from her husband. I am actually certainly not going to point out so much more right here, other than that this book gones on my (incredibly brief) list from ultimate must-reads for anyone that has an interest in devoutness and also our origins. In old times that was important to remove bacteria as well as lice off the scalps of individuals using the brush. Morten St. George is actually the author of the Nostradamus-related publication Necromancy of the Rule Versus Inept Movie critics and also the inventor a site about Nostradamus et los angeles Kabbale His web site includes the Nostradamus textual alternatives from the Paris versions and also various other technological help for the concepts this short article. 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Show pupils pictures or on the web duplications from wall structure art works from old human beings that explain elements from life as that was actually lived in ancient opportunities. Tribe tattoo styles have actually remained well-known throughout the grows older, ever since they were first used in the old times. That ancient text, entailing the groundworks from the religion, was at times referred to as guide from Light and also in some cases as the Revelations from Elijah. The tax-exempt problem of numerous present day charities possesses its own roots in this particular early practice as well as this type of advantage has actually long brought about shaping numerous standing power structures within Western cultures. The poles as well as flies described in the book were akin to those explained through Dame Juliana. On Thursday our experts carried the title, Liverpool legend Steven Gerrard reveals his retirement life from volleyball." Still, for all I learn about the activity, Gerrard could also be a semi-mythical person off historical opportunities. Early Times is actually formed from Locations, listed here, each of which consists of a number of more customized groups within each Regional type. By the way, the master in the Holy book story is actually Xerxes, an amount well known to historical chroniclers. For this certain type, the old Classical ladies utilized to secure their hair together and also made up a knot at the neck. Buddha may be attached a substantial quantity of effects, relevant information as well as significance; they evolve and also they are actually offered life. In early times the word Dowsing was used just for the hunt from springtimes from water or metallics as gold. Baseding upon the historical kabalistic message, the secret of the 5 metallics call success is actually that at the particular time of the production from the band with these five metals, Jupiter's influence is mobilized on. The origin of pizzas really began in old times, and also as stated previously, was even more for feature than exciting. The old folks made use of things like blooms and herbs to create good quality perfumes. Daczynski, that additionally accomplished sales instruction in property and also insurance policy, realized the direct advantages from the TM plan as a sales instruction resource as well as developed his lecture notes into this highly useful publication. These titles are actually leftovers of early constellations that have been dropped, gotten rid of or dismissed. However flexible this, Egypt, Canaan, and Israel in Ancient Times is actually just about anything yet a goofy work. Advanced methods of fortune informing actually existed as well as dated back to obsolete opportunities when early ascendants simply rely upon the positioning from the stars, moon and the worlds were the only noticeable means of contemplating as well as reflecting the future. Gould decided on the 48 early constellations as well as 40 that had actually been actually developeded typically between 1500 and 1800 to pack voids left by ancients. The Early Greeks were full of awe when they initially saw the wonderful backyards of the far eastern Persian Kings.
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