#its okay whatever. things will get better i know
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
mrspiffy123 · 2 days ago
Text
Hollow Knight's Adventures with Dewi
"Okay, dad! I'm heading out to the woods for a bit!" Dewi threw his bag over his shoulders and tied up his boots. He wanted to spend every possible moment in Hallownest that he could. His dad called back, "Again? You've gone out every day for the past month… just be sure you have your walkie talkie so I can reach you." Dewi was already halfway through the door as he shouted back, "Don't worry, I got it!" and leapt out of the front door, heading back to the cave to meet up with Ghost, Hornet, and all is other insectoid friends.
After some time, Dewi reached the cave Hornet had first brought him to. He'd gotten better at navigating with each visit. Just as Dewi was grabbing the flashlight out of his backpack, he heard a rustle coming from behind. Whatever it was, it sounded much larger than the squirrels and small prey he was used to seeing. He quickly turned around, but didn't see anything. Dewi held the flashlight close in case he needed to bonk anything and run. Suddenly, from a bush popped up to… horn? Antlers? They didn't look like any animal Dewi had seen before. Quickly, the rest of the figure followed until out from the bush appeared… a small, cloaked child. They looked even younger than Dewi, and the wooden mask they wore looked exactly like his friend, Little Ghost.
"Uh… hi?" Dewi lowered his flashlight.
The figure nodded.
"Sorry, I was just… um… meeting some friends here. Do- do you know them? They go by Hornet and Little Ghost- er, just Ghost… I guess"
They nodded again, this time more enthusiastically. The figure pointed to itself.
"You do know them? That's why you're wearing that mask, right?"
They shook their head and again pointed at themselves.
"You… Ghost, is that actually you?"
The figure nodded and walked up to Dewi. Even though Dewi could now see eyes through the mask, their gaze remained empty as usual. He did, however, notice a small sword hanging by their side. "You, still have your sword I see… no, what did Hornet call it? A nail! Though… I guess sword would be more appropriate now." Ghost followed Dewi's gaze and slowly unsheathed the sword. It hesitated in almost every action, like every movement was a conscious effort.
The sword was real, no doubt about it, but it was a far cry from the glowing, pure white metal either of them were used to. The edge was noticeably sharp, but the blade itself was made from a dull, gray alloy. As Ghost put the sword back in its sheathe, Dewi couldn't help but keep asking questions, "What's happening? Did this happen to anyone else? Are they okay? Are you okay? What's going on?" Ghost waited for Dewi to catch his breath before simply shaking their head once. "Nothing, you don't even know or why this happened? W-what's the last thing you remember? Can you act it out?" The little one thought for a moment. It took a step back and started mimicking vague actions. Old habits die hard, it seems, for even with its new limbs and dexterity, Ghost couldn't manage much beyond stiffly waving its arms about.
"I'm sorry, I- I'm not getting anything from that. You can stop." Ghost came back and sat on a nearby rock. The two sat together in silence for a minute, both trying to process what they've found themselves in. After a while, Dewi took off his backpack and began rifling around in it, "Are you… hungry? Do you still need to eat? Did you need to eat before?" Just as he asked, the two heard a rumbling straight from the little one's stomach! Ghost nearly fell off its seat in shock before quickly readying a hand on its sword. Dewi just let out a small chuckle, "I guess that answers all three! Here! It's the best thing I could pack this early in the morning." He handed Ghost a small foil packet. It took the packet, and simply… held it.
"Oh, right. You're probably not used to wrapping, let me get that for you," Dewi grabbed the snack and tore the top open to reveal two pink frosted poptarts. He handed one to Ghost, who again gave nothing but an empty gaze. "It… goes in here," Dewi pointed at his mouth a took a bite from his own poptart to demonstrate. Ghost followed suit, slipping the confection under its mask and pulling it back to reveal a small chunk taken from the corner. "Now chew it, like this," Dewi started chewing through his food, heavily exaggerating the motion. It took Ghost a moment to figure out the movements, but it eventually got a hang of the process. Dewi tried explaining the rest through a mouthful of frosting and jam filling, "now, you shwallow…" He grabbed his water bottle to wash down the rest. He was about to offer it to Ghost before seeing it clearly struggle to figure out the mechanics of swallowing. Dewi couldn't help but giggle at his friend so clearly out of its element.
"Dewi? Ghost? Is that you, little ones?" The two whipped around towards the voice. Behind them stood a woman much taller than Dewi. Her perfect posture would have made her look quite elegant if it wasn't for the ragged cloak she was wearing. In her hands were a ring and a small harpoon, both attached by a long thread of twine, and she wore a mask just like Ghost, only ceramic instead of wood. Dewi recognized her voice immediately, and her mask was unmistakable. Whatever happened to Ghost, it had happened to her too.
"Hornet!" Dewi nearly leapt at her with a hug. She tried to stop him, but the kid's enthusiasm broke through her guard and toppled them both to the ground. "Dewi, please refrain from doing that again! I am not yet familiar with having only four limbs." She nearly had to pry Dewi off her. "Sorry! You don't know how long I've waited for that, now that we're the same size! Well… human sized, at least," he did his best to help Hornet as she slowly got up from the dirt.
"Dewi, what have you done. How have you made us both higher beings such as yourself?" Hornet straightened her mask and dusted off her cloak.
"I didn't do anything! I don't know how to turn bugs into humans!" Dewi was getting increasingly exhausted with Hornet's insistence on Dewi's status as a "higher being". He sat back down on his tree stump, defeated. "To be honest, I kinda hoped I'd get to be a bug and explore Hallownest with you guys. That place sounds so cool…"
"I wouldn't wish such things, Dewi. Even after you and Little Ghost triumphed over the Radiance, Hallownest is still a dangerous place. With your luck, you would wind up alone, or worse, stuck with Lemm." Dewi perked up at the name, "Who's Lemm?" Even in the current situation, he couldn't stop asking about Hallownest. "Just a crotchety old hermit. Lives in the City of Tears, hoarding and obsessing over his relics. I do not believe he would take kindly to your presence, Dewi. Apologies, I did not mean that as an insult."
"Uh… none taken? Oh! You're probably hungry! Ghost is it okay if I…" he plucked the poptart out of Ghost's hands. It hadn't taken more than that first bite, anyway. "Here!"
"What is this?" Hornet eyed the pastry with suspicion.
"It's food!" Dewi continued to offer it with a smile, "it might be a little sweet, but I really like them!" Hornet grabbed the popart cautiously before breaking off a piece and slipping it under her mask, being sure to keep her face hidden from Dewi. She chewed for only a few seconds before spitting on the ground.
"PLEH! This is the food of higher beings!? Is this even natural?!" She was kind enough to give it back to Dewi instead of the ants.
"Well… my dad says they have all kinds of preservatives. He doesn't like me eating too many. Calls them 'an affront to the natural order' but I think they're really tasty!" He breaks a piece off for himself before giving it back to Ghost who continues to hold it absentmindedly. "Here, have some water," he offers the bottle to Hornet.
She grabs the bottle, "This is simply water? Not another disgusting concoction of higher beings?"
"Well you don't have to be mean about it… but yeah, it's just water." He takes the bottle when Hornet's finished and sets it back in his back. He offers Hornet a seat at their new, impromptu meeting spot, to which Hornet silently obliges.
"Dewi, we need to know what is happening, and we are unfamiliar with your world. We do not know if this has happened to anyone else, or who. Are you willing to guide us?"
@lilybug-02 @violetthunderstorm
340 notes · View notes
blackmissfrizzle · 2 days ago
Text
Dracarys
Pairings: Dragon Shifter!Terry Richmond x black!reader
Summary: The reader just wants to be a dragon rider for a bit and Terry is not up for it.
Warnings: None really. This might be the most PG thing I've written. Its fluff and right now the reader and Terry are not in a relationship, just friends.
A/N: This is part of a series of one-shots, rather than a linear series. Some fics will be multiple parts and some will not. This one might have a part 2.
Check out my old ass work here -> My Masterlist
Tumblr media
“No, absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
“Because I respect myself.”
“I respect you too.”
“Not if you’re asking me to do that.”
“Don’t you love me? Your bestest friend in the whole wide world.”
“Bestest is not a word.”
Terry Richmond was absolutely infuriating. First, he wouldn’t let you ride him and scream dracarys and now he’s correcting your grammar. This is what you get for being friends with an old ass dragon shifter. Where was the YN dragons at?
“Shut the fuck up, Terry.” You stomped behind him, not catching the little smirk that graced his face.
“Oooh, such unladylike language. You know what your mama would do if she caught you cussing like that.”
“Good thing, my mama ain’t here!” How did you, the kinda silly, bend a couple of rules kind of girl end with the strait-laced, strict boy best friend? Probably had to do with him being a couple of centuries old. He must’ve been really lonely. Now he was never getting rid of you.
It took a slow jog for you to catch up to him and smack him behind his head. Terry whipped his head towards you and instead of those stormy green eyes you were met by black slits. “That stopped scaring me months ago. Try something new.” You waved him off, unaffected by his reptilian eyes.
Terry grunted and kept walking. “Why is this so important to you?”
“Because it would be cool, and I can be like Danerys or Rhaynera. But the black version of them.”
The only change in his face was a slightly raised eyebrow. If you didn’t know Terry well, you wouldn’t be able to decipher his expression. Right now, this was, ‘I’m gonna correct her ass’ face. “Isn’t there a couple of black Targaryrens in the show?”
You jumped up and down in his face. “I knew you liked watching House of the Dragon! Yeah, they’re from Corlys’ line.”
“The old dread head that never listens to  his snow bunny?”
“THE QUEEN THAT NEVER WAS! RIP to a real one. Nigga, you really do be paying attention.” You were tickled pink. Every Sunday night when you drugged Terry to watch HOTD, the man always acted like he had something better to do.
A minute quirk of his mouth let you know he was amused and not really annoyed with you. “It’s one of the more accurate depictions of dragons, Personality wise at least.” The reactions and commentary of Seasmoke toying with that knight was the best. Terry did have to agree that dragons and cats has similar temperament to a degree,
“I thought of you more like Smaug, greedy and grumpy.”
The low rumble let you know to get your knees to your chest or duck. More than on one occasion, Terry blew fire in your direction. He literally lit a fire under your ass. “Okay, maybe not Smaug. Maybe more like Toothless.” You couldn’t help yourself and egged him on.
“A cartoon dragon?!” He roared.
A huge grin appeared as you ducked under the stream of fire. Haha! A reaction, finally!
“Now, I’m never letting you ride me.” He crossed his arms, making his muscles just *pop*.  God, dragon God, whatever higher power really took their time with this man. What a shame he wasn’t interested. The man or dragon was searching for his mate and that was not you.
“Your loss, big boy.” You patted his chest. “I could’ve rocked your world!” You whined your hips to the music in your head.
A charge of heart and maybe head (lower head), made Terry give in. “Fine,” He sighed, shifting into his dragon. The North Carolian mountains provided the perfect cover. He could cruise the sky without being detected. Also, if needed he possessed the ability to become invisible. A gift from helping a witch long ago.
Giggles and a huge smile consumed you. “I knew you couldn’t tell me no. Now don’t be going fast or trying to throw me off. I know how you like to play too much.” You kissed a scale on his neck.
Of course, he couldn’t tell you no. You were his mate after all and he would do anything to make you happy, even if he felt like a fool.
80 notes · View notes
aropride · 2 days ago
Text
fascinated and distressed by chase's disordered relationship with sexuality + his emotions abt his own trauma & abuse
thru the beginning of the show he doesn't even realize he's hot despite being objectively attractive. when he finds out he's hot he then realizes people pretend to be interested in him as a person in order to have sex with him and gets super upset about it
he starts having a bunch of meaningless sex as a coping mechanism when cameron leaves him. and also a lot of other times. whenever something bad happens, basically, he starts going out with a bunch of women, just to feel something, presumably
^to the extent where hes known within the hospital as a slut. and has had sex with an insane amount of nurses. as well as presumably women who are not at his place of work.
he says doing this made him hate himself so he stopped. it's the b-plot for an episode and then he's back having meaningless sex again by the end of the episode
even his coworkers know this about him. and have called it out, masters even says she thinks he doesn't respect women bc, in her words, he's with a different one every few days or maybe he finds comfort in meaningless relationships
goes back to having meaningless sex within weeks of getting stabbed. which is really bad for wound healing reasons too. genuinely it seems like such compulsive behavior for him considering he keeps doing it even when its objectively not only a bad idea but actively dangerous
house even directly says he's "a serial slut" because he's "terrified of intimacy." incredibly accurate assessment
his relationship with his sexuality reads so heavily as someone who thinks they're not good for anything else
see also: dissociation & avoidance
we know he has a lot of trauma especially in childhood- he never really gets into it let alone into how he Feels about it but what we know is already bad & that's just the stuff he's okay with sharing with his coworkers or patients
in general he's very avoidant of his own trauma- when he gets stabbed he says he "can't change what happened, can only make better choices from here" as if it was his own fault, and refuses thru the whole episode to acknowledge that being traumatized by this would be a really normal reaction that he is definitely having. instead he just blames himself
also, he dissociates from traumatic things that happen to him - says "there was a stabbing" rather than "i was stabbed" for instance
when he's talking abt his childhood trauma he does it in a very similar way - he talks about it very bluntly and doesn't ever get into how he actually feels about it.
see also: dr. fawn response
general passive willingness to go along with anything- when cameron says they should have sex in s3 he's surprised and then he just kinda goes along with it. not bc he didn't want to bc he obviously did, but he's just generally very much someone who does whatever other people want him to do. i feel like he and cameron both tend to seek validation thru sex in an unhealthy way that i'm still gnawing on like a dog with a bone i have to go rewatch s3 to really articulate it though
he has a sort of desperation for praise and approval especially from anyone he views as an authority figure. he does whatever authority figures tell him out of this idea that it'll bring him approval and therefore safety
like no matter what house does or says to him he doesn't argue or retaliate or anything. even when house punches him he collapses on the ground in pain and then just keeps talking about the patient like nothing happened.
the scene in 3.10 after house punches him where he's in the ddx room and house walks in and throws the file at him and chase is startled and tries to pretend he's not. and he looks up with this huge fuck ass bruise on his jaw swallows heavily and pretends not to be upset. and house asks if he got that looked at as if he wasn't the one to give it to him and chase just swallows and says he's fine. dr fawn response :(
72 notes · View notes
lqveharrington · 2 days ago
Note
Rodrick heffley………better than revenge
Better Than Revenge | R.H.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: after years of friendship with rodrick, the one thing that came in between you was a girl.
pairing: rodrick heffley x best friend!reader
includes: use of Y/N, reader's last name is Johnson, pretty much angst, fighting, yelling, cursing, unspoken feelings, mentions of murder, not proof read
a/n: first time writing for rodrick, tell me how it is!
Tumblr media
The one thing you didn’t think would get in between you and Rodrick was a girl. Sure, he had talked with girls who would give him the time of day, but they never really phased you. Not like Heather Hills. Her prissy attitude and selfishness somehow found its way under your skin, riling you up and causing a hitch in your friendship with Rodrick. You knew she wasn’t good for him but — of course — he never listened. It seemed as if you were merely a second thought.
And it didn't help that she looked at you like you were a waste of space. But who was the one getting all the college scholarships and going to college in the first place?
“Rodrick, she’s just using you as a rebound!” You huff and grab your keys from his bed side table, slipping your shoes back on.
You meant to spend an hour over at Rodrick’s before heading over to your cello lesson in preparation for the final concert before heading off to college, but he just had to bring up his date with Heather. You tried to fake a pretty smile for him and nodded politely — you really did. But as soon as he stopped everything to answer a dry text message from the woman herself, you decided you had enough of his nonsense.
Rodrick hastily tucked his phone in his back pocket and watched you with confused eyes, brow furrowing at your sudden desire to leave. “Heather likes me, okay? You know this has been the dream since—“
"Since elementary, I know!" You glare at him and stare at him a second longer before running your fingers through your hair in annoyance. "Whatever, I don't have time for this."
Swiftly, you raced down the stairs and nearly collided with Greg. You quickly apologized and did your best to make it to your car without being stopped by Rodrick. Did you really want to leave the house on a bad note? No, but god he was annoying you beyond all measures.
Rodrick pursed his lips and tapped his foot to the ground before chasing after you, colliding with Greg this time. He pushed his brother out of the way and blocked the front door, narrowing his eyes when you rolled yours.
You moved to the left and he followed. You moved to the right and he followed. Huffing, you crossed your arms and looked up at him in exasperation. “I need to head to cello, Rodrick—“
“Are you jealous?” He breathed out and looked over your facial expression, shaking his head when you sent him another glare.
Rodrick was used to your glares and your occasional arguments, but this one felt more personal. After years and years of friendship, this felt like a final blow to a precarious accord. Like one wrong move would completely change your views on each other.
“Why would I be jealous?” You crease your brows and frown, eyes flickering back and forth between him and the door behind him.
He shook his head and raised his arms in frustration. He didn't know what to say, so he said the first thing his mind thought of whenever he thought of you. “I-I don’t know! Maybe because I'll like her better than you?”
Your mouth parted ever so slightly before you felt your eyes glazed over in anger, shoving him to the side. "Fuck off, Rodrick."
Of course the time you decide to use foul language was when Mrs. Heffley entered the room. She took one look at the two of you and stood in between, hands pushing you two away from each other.
“Language!” She scolded and glanced at your teary-eyed expression, anger dissipating at the sight. “What are you two arguing about now?”
“Nothing.” You both speak at the same time, still staring at each other in glowering hatred.
Several seconds later, you pull away from Mrs. Heffley and move to the door yanking the handle hard like it was the one who insulted you. Mrs. Heffley looked at her soon in disappointment and opened her mouth to speak but got interrupted by you, pursing her lips at how distant your voice was.
“I have cello, so if you’ll excuse me.”
Tumblr media
For the rest of the month leading up to your final orchestra concert in Plainview, you were in a sour mood. You would have thought a final goodbye to your childhood town would have been more mournful, but all you felt was annoyance. Even your cello teacher knew something was upsetting you. However she was only in her early twenties, so every so often you felt like she was your friend more than a mentor.
“Then he has the audacity to ask if I’m jealous and never reaches out afterward!” You pace around your cello teacher's office with a heavy heart. You had been complaining for the last thirty minutes of the lesson, and all you wanted to do was burst into tears at the thought of Rodrick claiming you were jealous of Heather. “I swear, he’s such an ass. Even more now that Heather has him wrapped around her finger. She thinks she's so innocent when really she's an actress and known as a w—"
You teacher put a hand up and stopped you, "Enough complaints about Rodrick. I'm almost positive tomorrows lesson will be about him anyway."
You sent her a sheepish smile and sat in your chair again, fiddling with the old friendship bracelet you and Rodrick made way back in middle school. You didn't think twelve years of friendship would wash away because of Heather, but you also didn't think you would end up in the situation you were in now.
"Besides Rodrick, have you hung out with anyone else this summer?" She moved around to wipe the dry erase marker off the board, tilting her head when your face flushed crimson. "So there is one?"
"Only Alex." You murmured and picked at your nails, more interested in the color than the topic.
Your teacher chuckled and gave you a lopsided smile, "Instead of dwelling on the Heffley boy, why not give Alex your time? It's better than whatever revenge you were planning in your head."
Somehow, you flushed an ever deeper shade of red and nodded, hating how she was able to read you so well. Your thoughts went back to the boy who caused all your grievances. If he didn't care how you felt any longer, why should you care about how he felt?
Tumblr media
Rodrick didn't know if you even wanted him to come watch you orchestra concert. Since you first picked up a cello, he came to every single concert and in return, you came to watch whenever his band performed. But after the horrid argument he started, he wasn't sure if you would still welcome his family — more or less him — to the concert.
“Rodrick, let’s go! We’re going to be late!” His mother shouted from the bottom of the staircase, causing him to snap out of his stupor.
Grudgingly, he clipped on his tie and made his way to the foyer, groaning when his mother fussed over the dirt smudges over his face. He swatted her hands away and took care of the issue himself, grumbling in annoyance. Susan looked at her eldest and narrowed her eyes, knowing he had something to say.
Rodrick rolled his eyes and shook his head, unruly hair sticking out in various places. “I don’t think she’ll want me there.”
“Of course, she does!" Susan adjusted Rodrick's collar and patted his chest, giving him a reassuring smile. "Despite whatever — uh — conflicts you two have, she’ll still want to see her best friend in the audience for her big day.”
"And we already told her family to save seats for us at the front row." Frank muttered under his breath and earned a smack to the arm from his wife.
Rodrick huffed and messed with his cuffs, not meeting either of his parents' eyes. He didn't need his mother's sympathy or his father's military style attitude to ruin the rest of his already awful summer break.
“Yeah yeah, whatever.” He shuffled to the door and swung it open, nearly knocking Greg off his feet. “Let’s get this over with.”
Tumblr media
As always, your performance was flawless. From full orchestra to your solos, you were absolutely marvelous. Every time you went to play, you were completely immersed in your own world. You focused on your own instrument and listened for the cues. You were at peace and it was such a display each and every time.
Often you would open your eyes to scan the crowd in between the switching of instruments, almost like you were looking for someone. When you met Rodrick's eyes, he sent you an encouraging smile and only until you sent him a quick smile did his own felt real.
"See, she did want you here!" Susan whisper-shouted at Rodrick and nudged him with her elbow, earning a weak grin from him.
When the concert finally finished and the final applause died out, the institution was finally able to award their seniors as they were leaving in a little over a week. Rodrick had completely zoned out all the other awards, nearly falling asleep before his mother stood and cheered quite loudly when you were called up to the front.
“The Beatrice Huntington Award goes to… Y/N Johnson! Along with the George Barati Cello Scholarship! Congratulations Miss Johnson!” Your cello teacher spoke into the microphone and handed you a plaque, giving you a hug when you appeared by her side with a bright smile.
You beamed at the crowd as many of them knew you since you were only six. Your eyes watered as you took a final bow, earning a louder applause. You knew this would be your last performance for the institution, and when you came back, it would be completely different.
Your eyes met with Rodrick's one last time before the audience was dismissed. You could practically feel how proud he was despite his low effort in looking decent. He sent you a thumbs up and you laughed softly, wiping your tears before your makeup could run.
When you made it out to the auditorium foyer, you were immediately swept into the arms of Mrs. Heffley and felt her attack of kisses to your cheek. Laughing, you returned her hug with the same amount of emotion. She was the one who truly supported your decision in playing the cello at such a young age.
“Congratulations, sweetie!” She squeezed your shoulders and pulled you into another hug, smiling so bright it could out shine the sun. She sniffled and dabbed a handkerchief to her eyes. “Couldn’t be more proud of you!”
“Thank you, Mrs. Heffley.” You pull away and send her a grateful smile, squeezing her hand reassuringly.
Your eyes drifted to her family behind her, smile widening when Manny waved at you. You could see that the entire Heffley family was proud but nothing could prepare you for Rodrick trying to hide his own tears. You were unsure if they were for you or about you, but you were immediately pulled out of your thoughts when Mrs. Heffley offered to take you out for dinner with her family.
“Oh, it's quite alright, Mrs. Heffley!" You tighten your grip on your award and avoid Rodrick's eyes. "My... A friend is taking me out to dinner tonight and I wouldn't want them to feel like I'm ditching them last minute."
Her eyebrows shot up and opened her mouth to ask who, in hopes of inviting them as well when said friend walked up and wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed you temple, smiling down at you. She was even more surprised when you smiled up at the boy and whispered unknown words to him.
"I'll be there in a second." You murmur and meet his bright eyes, heart swelling when he pressed a kiss to your lips. "Alex..."
"Well you have to introduce me to them, yeah?" He whispered back and pressed one last kiss to your lips before winking at you.
You clear your throat and give the now shocked family a bashful grin, eyes only meeting Mrs. Heffley's wide ones. She continued to look between the both of you, doing her best not to verbally react to the new information.
"Uhm, Heffleys, this is Alex. Alex, this is the Heffley family." You gesture and nearly drop the plaque, Alex's hand coming around to help you balance the heavy glass.
When no one reacted, you awkwardly stood in front of them, smile faltering when they glanced at each other with confused looks. You were about to excuse yourself when Mrs. Heffley finally realized what had happened.
She began to introduce everyone in the family and nodded until you thought her head would fall off. You hid your laugh in Alex's shoulder and sighed softly before you heard Alex mutter something utterly shocking in your ear.
"Rodrick looks like he might stabbed me to death with his drumsticks."
You furrow your brows and look over him, frowning when he did in fact look murderous. He was happy just a few second ago, what happened?
"Sorry to interrupt," You cut of the rest of Mrs. Heffley's confusing rambling. "But we have to get going soon."
"Oh, yes, of course!" She quickly spoke and gave you one last grin. "Congratulations again."
"Thank you." You send her a happy smile before looking back at Rodrick one last time.
He shook his head at you and turned away, leaving you to ponder whether or not he truly was happy for you. But was it your fault? He didn't try and reach out to you the entire month and he expected you to just stay around him. It was unfair and you both knew it.
So without any sort of remorse, you let Alex sweep you away to the diner. It didn't matter what Rodrick thought anymore. Besides, he had Heather Hills to fall back onto.
Tumblr media
©lqveharrington - all rights reserved. do not copy, translate or share my work on other media platforms
45 notes · View notes
hardly-an-escape · 2 days ago
Text
Hope, Actually | Buck/Tommy | 2100 words | rated T
on the last day of Christmas, this writer gave to you... some BuckTommy holiday fluff! Buck watches Love Actually and gets an idea. tags: makeup fic, christmas, love actually, tooth rotting fluff, egregious overuse of italics
Buck gets the idea three days before Christmas.
He and Tommy have been talking again, is the thing. Trying to be friends. It's tentative and a little stilted sometimes and it's… fine. Talking only makes Buck want to jump Tommy's bones about 20% of the time, and peel his own skin off an additional 30% of the time. So that leaves 50% normal conversation, which is fine.
The fact that he's still painfully in love with Tommy is maybe a little less fine, but whatever. Can you even still be in love with a person if you never said you love them in the first place? Can you love them more? Because that's what it feels like. Every time he grabs a beer with Tommy and Chim and laughs for an evening over their latest ridiculous call, he loves him a little more. Every time they text, every time they end up at the same scene or the same bar, he falls a little harder.
But they're trying to be friends, trying to be cool; so Buck takes all that love and puts it away, smashes it down and swallows it and pushes it deep into his belly, and when he feels like it's going to overflow and turn into words he takes the excess and puts it in an imaginary box and shoves it deep inside an imaginary closet. There's probably some kind of irony there, a man taking these feelings he has for another man and putting them in a closet. Buck doesn't want to think too closely about it, to be honest.
And then three days before Christmas he's over at Maddie and Chimney's house. Jee-Yun has finally gone to bed, and they're flipping back and forth between random Christmas movies and drinking wine. Well, Buck and Chim are drinking wine, and Maddie is drinking sparkling grape juice and making a face after every other sip.
"Ooh, Love Actually!" she says excitedly as Chimney channel surfs. "Buck, have you ever seen this one?"
"No… Tommy and I were going to watch it together. I guess it doesn't matter now. He said he wanted to wait until after Thanksgiving, that's why we didn't. Before," Buck says heavily.
"I remember he told me once that it was his favorite movie," Chimney says neutrally. "That was a long time ago, though."
"Yeah, he said… he said it comes across as pretty dated. He said he probably wouldn't see it the same way if he watched for the first time now," Buck says, the words suddenly tripping over themselves to get out of his mouth. He can feel the glance his sister and her husband exchange over his head. "It's like junk food, you know, like… you don't eat a Big Mac because it's a good burger, you eat it because it's what you want, because it's the same every time and there's something comforting in that, even if it's objectively not great. Tommy said… he said he thought there are better Christmas movies, and way better rom coms, but there'll always be something kind of perfect and comforting about this one…" he trails off.
"Do you wanna skip it tonight?" Chimney asks, surprisingly gently.
"No. No, it's okay, we can watch it. I don't mind," Buck says. "But I'm going to open another bottle of wine."
"God, now that you mention it, I could kinda go for a Big Mac right now," Maddie says reflectively.
Later, a little too drunk to drive home, Buck curls up in the middle of the guest bed and lets the movie swirl aimlessly through his thoughts. Tommy was right, he thinks, about it being pretty dated – he can see how some of the stories, which might have hit romantic beats in the mid-2000s, just come off as clunky, or even creepy, 20 years later.
But Buck can also see how it got under people's skin – can guess how it got under Tommy's skin. Even in the clunky stories there's a thread running through, a bigger idea about the diversity of love, about all its imperfections, about the way it can grab hold of you and surprise you whether you're at the beginning, the middle, or the end of your own story.
There's an idea there, tipsy and unformed, about him and Tommy and about what he can do with all the love he's been packing up and hiding away like the hoodie buried at the back of his drawer that only barely smells like Tommy's sweat now. By the time he wakes up and finishes making everybody breakfast, the idea has solidified into a plan.
He has to visit two different office supply stores to get what he needs, and it takes him most of that afternoon to figure out what he wants to write, saving draft after draft in the notes app of his phone before he ever puts marker to paper. At some point he remembers to text Lucy to ask whether Tommy's on duty Christmas Eve or whether he'll be at home.
He's not on the duty roster but I don't know if he has plans, she texts back. Want I should find out?
yes please, he sends. I'm gonna do sthg stupid and i need him to be home for it.
Thank God, one of you idiots needs to figure your shit out before I'm subjected to his sad breakup playlist one more time.
he has a breakup playlist???
An hour later Lucy texts again to let Buck know that she told Tommy she had some stuff to drop off for him, and he said he wasn't planning to leave the house. So the plan is a go.
On Christmas Eve, Buck waits until after dark to drive over to Tommy's house. He's got three dozen thumbprint cookies in tins, a carefully ordered stack of poster board, and about a thousand butterflies in his stomach. This is either going to go really well, or really poorly, and he's honestly not sure which outcome to expect. But he has to do something – he has to try.
He wishes it were snowing. It's barely cool enough to need a jacket. But that's Los Angeles in the winter for you.
Tommy has this particular smile. Buck saw it pretty often when they were first together. It's not his favorite of Tommy's smiles; it's too restrained, starts out wide and then gets reined in, tamped down, as if he suddenly remembered that he's not supposed to be that happy, or not allowed to show it if he is. Buck is pretty sure it's the smile of someone who'd spent a long time being more or less punished for joy, and whatever else happens between them, he's glad that he saw it less and less over their months together.
But Buck sees that smile again when the front door swings open, when Tommy reflexively smiles big, the one that reaches his eyes, when he sees Buck on the porch – and immediately schools his face into something more reserved, more professional. Friendly, but not too friendly.
"Hey. What's up? What –" he trails off as Buck hits play on his phone and Christmas music comes from the Bluetooth speaker at his feet. He picks up his stack of poster board cards and shows Tommy the first one.
Say it's carol singers, it reads in Buck's uneven chicken scratch handwriting.
"Buck, nobody else is here," Tommy says.
Buck frowns and brandishes the sign again. Tommy's smile softens into something wistful, almost sad. "It's carol singers," he calls exaggeratedly over his shoulder to the empty house and turns back to Buck with an expectant look.
Buck flips to the next sign. I watched this movie the other day, it says. I didn't think it was that good TBH.
Sign number three: But I think I understand why people still like it so much.
Tommy crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow.
Buck flips to the fourth sign. I think it's a movie about hope. That no matter how much you fuck up there will still be a way for love to find you.
He had to write pretty small to fit all that on one sign, so he holds it up a little longer and watches something flash across Tommy's face as he reads. He waits until Tommy looks up again to go to the next card.
And now it's Christmas, it says. And at Christmas you tell the truth.
The playlist is on a rendition of "Joy to the World" that couldn't possibly be performed by anything less than a professional eight-part a cappella group. Buck flips to the next card.
You're not perfect, it reads in big letters. The "not" is underlined multiple times. Tommy laughs a little bit, and Buck doesn't think he's imagining the fact that it sounds a little wet, like maybe Tommy is choking up a little.
The next sign: (And neither am I.) We've both fucked up + I'm sure we will again. He's not happy with how this one looks. He'd tried about seventeen times on various pieces of scrap paper to get the damn ampersand right and eventually had to settle for the stupid little plus sign like a middle schooler.
But I still have hope. I have hope for love. I have hope for us. Almost to the end now.
The second-to-last card is a simple one. And… I'm hoping you have hope too. Merry Christmas Tommy.
Buck bends down and takes his time stopping the music and turning off the Bluetooth speaker; straightens up slowly, poster board clutched to his chest. He can't quite meet Tommy's eyes, too afraid of what he might see there, so he looks down at his own shoes until the toes of Tommy's house slippers shuffle into view.
Two gentle fingers tip his chin up. It's so familiar, Buck almost expects a kiss, but instead Tommy just looks at him, soft and tender and achingly open.
"Thank you, Evan," he says, and it doesn't escape Buck's notice that he was Buck when Tommy first opened the door, and he's back to being Evan now.
"It's really not a great movie, Tommy," he says, a little helplessly. "I liked the story about the dad and the kid, and the one with the naked people was pretty good, but this guy?" He shakes a sheet of poster board and it makes that little wooby wooby sound. "Total creeper. And the prime minister is an HR violation waiting to happen, and I don't know if they even have HR in England…"
He trails off, because Tommy is chuckling. Tommy is laughing at him, and his smile is big again, spreading over his face from the corners of his eyes all the way down to the cleft in his chin, and it's one of the more beautiful things Buck has ever seen.
"You're not wrong, Evan," he's saying. "I think I told you, you know, it's like junk food, you don't eat it because it's good, you eat it because it's –"
"It's what you want." They're standing close together, now. Almost close enough that Buck can feel Tommy's breath against his cheek. He can still feel the ghost of his fingertips under his chin.
He's really not sure what to do now. His plan hadn't developed this far, beyond a kind of half-baked daydream of Tommy immediately falling into his arms and passionately declaring his love, although actually neither of them is quite that kind of guy. But luckily, Tommy seems to have an idea where to go.
"Do you want to stay for a bit?" he asks. "Maybe watch a better Christmas movie? Maybe… maybe talk some things over?"
"Yes," Buck is saying before the last sentence finishes emerging from Tommy's mouth. "Yes, please. I brought you cookies. They're in the car, I couldn't – I couldn't carry them and hold the signs at the same time."
"How about I take these," Tommy says, taking the stack of posters from Buck's suddenly nerveless fingers, "and you go get the cookies, and you come inside for a while?"
"Okay," Buck says, and does that.
Just under a year later, when they're decorating for their second Christmas together, Tommy unearths the signs from a plastic tub of fake garland. Evan laughs at himself while they hang ornaments on the tree, still a little embarrassed. I can't believe I thought that would work, he says. I can't believe it did work.
I can, Tommy says, and holds up a plastic sprig of mistletoe, and reels him in for a kiss.
read on AO3 >>>
21 notes · View notes
yesimwriting · 2 days ago
Note
Happy new year! I wish you all a blessed 2025 ❤️
Now personally I don’t care the new years kiss tradition is about kissing your significant other, every single friend I love is getting love back from me when I’m drunk.
Bestie reader should absolutely give Louis the biggest platonic SMOOCH because he deserves it. He’d walk around with lipstick on his forehead or something, take a pic, save it for later to make fun of the level of readers intoxication.
a/n happy new year!! i'm totally the same about nye kisses and drinking, i get a little sappy and suddenly everyone in my life needs to know how much i mean to them lol i love this concept and it's perfect for the first fic of 2025!
also as a side note, going out/drinking with a vampire seems so perfect, ultimate scary dog privileges bc let some creepy man try anything and suddenly louis has a little late night snack <3 it sounds so freeing
----
The music's heavy pulse has aligned itself with your own, the base of it reverberating through your chest so thoroughly it might as well take the place of your heart. You can't bring yourself to dislike the feeling.
"O-kay." Your enthusiasm breaks the word into two. You let yourself lean into the feeling, into the fullness of your joy. "I think the regular vodka's stronger than the jello shots, because it's vodka not vodka-jello."
Louis presses his lips together in an attempt to keep from grinning too broadly. "That makes sense."
Your eyes narrow as you give yourself a moment to absorb the response. "It does," the words are much more contemplative than they need to be, "I'm so smart."
This time, Louis lets himself react. He laughs at the deliberateness pressed into your syllables. You're too out of it to think to mind his reaction. "You're drunk."
You straighten slightly as if that'll be enough to prove him wrong. "I'm happy."
Louis extends an arm, placing a hand on your shoulder in an instinctual attempt at keeping you steady. You're not exactly implying instability, but he's been spent enough time around you like this to know it's better to be safe than sorry.
"You're drunk."
You tilt your head at the correction, blinking at him curiously. "For some people, that's the same thing."
"Yeah?" The word is much too amused.
You nod enthusiastically, shifting your weight from foot to foot in a way that leaves Louis squeezing your arm a little tighter. "Yeah." You pause, eyebrows drawing together pensively as you struggle to grasp your next thought in its entirety. "I love you. I want you to be as happy as I am."
"Okay." He lets out a partial laugh. You're a good, terribly affectionate drunk. "I'm very happy. I promise."
His assurance doesn't seem to ease you. Instead of moving onto a separate topic of conversation or attempting to escape him in order to track down another shot, you frown. You step back slightly before lifting your arm. "Here."
You're holding your wrist out in front of him so innocently Louis can almost make himself forget what you're offering. "That--that's really nice of you, but I'm okay."
You frown, staring up at him with wide, sad eyes. Louis sighs, his fingers gently bending around your forearm. He pulls your hand down towards your side before stepping closer to you. In an abundance of precaution, he angles his head towards your ear. "I had that boy that grabbed your arm earlier, remember?"
"My blood is perfectly good--blood." Great, he's stumbled onto this argument again. You're not looking to be hurt, but for whatever reason, you're convinced that Louis's refusal to consume your blood to any extent is limiting your friendship. "Seriously, a doctor has never struggled to find my veins."
The defense is slurred and devoid of serious logic. Still, such a consistent mentioning of something he's always trying to ignore...always trying to forget makes it difficult to focus on anything else. The blood moving beneath your skin is warm against his palms, and it--the scent of it...
It is possible to stop. Some know how to resist, how to take just enough to feel something without bringing a life to its end. Lestat had possessed that kind of control, had used it when creating Claudia.
The thought leaves him more somber than he's prepared to be. Even if he could sense that kind of strength in himself, he--he couldn't use you in that way. Introducing you to his world at all was a cruel enough act on its own, he doesn't need to taint you further.
Louis squeezes his eyes shut, exhaling before pulling away slightly. He lifts your arm slowly, his thumb brushing against your wrist's pulse point. You watch him silently as he brings your inner forearm to his mouth. He presses his lips against your skin. "It's not you."
You're quiet for a second, something oddly sober briefly flickering behind your gaze. "I know," you relent slowly, "On some level, I know."
You look at him, then, with a careful awareness that often leaves him feeling like you're the one capable of looking into his mind. "But it better not be because you think your existence is some terrible burden you're inflicting onto me."
It's a warning he's used to hearing. His lips part, but before he can think of a response, the crowd around you shifts. A variety of voices blend together as they start to count, "...Ten...nine...."
"New years!" You beam, reaching for Louis's hand as you turn towards the others.
The countdown continues, the numbers oddly in sync for a bar so full of drink individuals. The clock hits midnight, the crowd erupts into cheers.
You grin, straightening fully as you lean towards him. Before Louis can think to ask about what you're doing, you press your lips against his cheek. He can feel the residue of your lipgloss against his skin, but he can't bring himself to mind it. This isn't the first time you've gotten a little affectionate while drunk, but normally there's some warning. "What was that for?"
You shrug innocently, "New Years kiss."
You let go of him fully, halfheartedly pushing his arm off your shoulder as you start moving away from him. "Where are you going?"
"I want another shot." The response is absentmindedly thrown over your shoulder, like Louis should have had the foresight to follow you.
A part of him is glad that your back is to him. This way, he can grin openly without encouraging your behavior. "Slow down--you're in heels."
You turn at that, flashing your middle finger before continuing forward. Oh, you're not going to get the hear end of this tomorrow.
30 notes · View notes
erasinglines · 21 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media
at the end of this, it’s hard not to feel gutted; hollowed out and empty, as if he’s been turned from the inside out, raw and waiting for all to see. can’t deny that the verity they’ve been relaying has been draining, but it’s been a long time coming, he thinks— no longer speaking in codes around each other, each communicating in a language the other didn’t speak. they’ve always been on the same page, able to understand that most intricate parts of each other, pieces of him that’s gathered cobwebs, locked away in the deepest corners of his mind. from so early on, he’d found such a comfort in her, as easy as breathing. even easier, he thinks, like she was essential to his very being, the reason that his body functioned on a day-to-day basis. it hadn’t taken much, for that to string them together, souls entangled from the moment their eyes met at that party, all those years ago, hands intertwined while they seeking solace elsewhere. he hadn’t known it then, in that moment, but that sanctuary has always come from her— her, as a person. no matter how much distance is between them, or where they are, how much time has passed. it’s always been her, for him, no matter the circumstances. that hasn’t changed now, even with all they’ve gone through, deliberate actions or not. his gaze softens, as he looks at her now, wanting nothing more than to take back all that’s occurred tonight, to be whoever she needs him to be, to be what she wants. he’s had doubts that he hasn’t been for some time now, that clearly she’s found something better in fletcher— that whatever they'd once shared was long gone, only remnants, crumbles of a structure, that once stood so tall left in its place. now, he can see that maybe neither one of them have been fully honest about the natures of their relationship; that much he knew, if tonight's conversations were anything to go by, if their night a few weeks prior had anything to say, too. has never been great at remaining angry at her, anyway, as if his body is physically incapable of doing do for very long. so, as she takes a step closer, he does too, as if to tell her that, to remind her that this is how he's always preferred them, with her right within his reach. and his hand aches to reach out to her further, as if a single touch could make up for all of his wrongdoings, but he holds back, that hand clenched at his side. " it's okay, " he assures her, that gentle glint back in his eye, colour returning to his face. " this is all... pretty fucked up, i guess. guess it always has been. " and the chuckle that rumbles from his throat, this time around, is genuine. clipped around the edges, sure, as he paints the obvious, but that bitterness is no longer attached to his words. " i'd like that, though. starting over, i mean. if you still want me around, that is— know i haven't been very fair on you, that i've only been making things harder than they need to be, " a gulp, then, as if it encapsulates the regret, the guilt, that's been festering inside him, dating back to the moment he'd left. " it's just... you're always going to be someone that i want, and i don't know how to get rid of that, " doesn't know if he wants to. " and if that complicates things too much, i get it, you know? my goal in this has never been to hurt you.
Tumblr media
it was cruel, what she said to him that fateful day over coffee. there was something wrong with her, she thinks, to ever say those words out loud to him, to lie about something she knew would hurt just to get a reaction. she wasn’t thinking of the consequences then, and that’s why she knows she deserves to face his frustration and his ire, now, to hear just how deeply her actions affected him. “ no, that was so fucked up, i know, i just… i was so jealous and scared that you found something better than what we had, so i lashed out, and it was fucking awful of me. i should’ve just told you the truth, instead, ” that no one else compares, in the slightest. there’s contrition written all over her countenance, shame and regret permeating every single syllable that leaves her lips. “ and i know that doesn’t fix it, and it’s okay if you hate me for it because i think i hate myself for it, too, i just… i’m so fucking sorry for ever putting that in your head. ” now having the same experience herself, she would do anything to wipe it from his memory entirely, just like she wished someone would do for her, right now. she understands now that this is why exes generally weren’t advised to talk after a break up— there was so much miscommunication and jealousy and hurt swirling around them, threatening to swallow them whole. and she’s afraid it might, until she witnesses his sigh, listening to his confession, feeling guilt well up inside of her as she allows for more honesty to spill past her lips, shaking her head slightly. “ hey, no, that night was… it was exactly what i wanted. you always... i mean, it always was, with us. " she pauses, wanting to offer additional reassurance. " it was perfect, miller, honestly— it meant everything to me. ” her voice shakes, slightly, on those last few words, but she means it all the same. she means it so much, actually, and she wants him to know that, to understand just how it’s affected her, how much she hates that he second guessed himself because of her previous actions. and she can’t help but hold her breath at his next admission, feeling herself soften entirely at his explanation, all her anxiety and fear melting away, disappearing into the cold night air. so that’s what all this was about— fuck, did she feel ridiculous now for worrying, for assuming the absolute worst. the relief that accompanies it is palpable, apparent in the nervous chuckle that spills past her lips. “ god, she’s really missing out. it’s not a bad sight, looking up at you. ” her gaze holds on him a little too long after saying that, but she breaks eye contact with him soon after, turning her head to hide her embarrassment at letting those words slip out as fingers rub across her face, her lips, as if to force them back inside. “ sorry, i shouldn’t have said that, but… that’s not fucked up, though. or well, it probably would be to anyone else, but i… i mean, i don’t even let him see me fully naked, because i just… don’t feel good about myself with him, and i always turn off the lights because i can’t bear to look up and see someone that isn’t you, either. ” it’s followed with a sigh, yet she feels emboldened enough to take a few steps closer to him; still respectful of his space, but close enough to satisfy that constant urge inside her to be near him. “ can we just… start over, you think ? because i really hate fighting with you. ” a pause. “ but i get it, if i’ve fucked things up too much. i only want you to be happy, you know ? ”
17 notes · View notes
llegato · 9 months ago
Text
im not really having a bad night but i havent had a good cry in. ages so maybe thats why i feel like my head is gonna burst
1 note · View note
wewerebornsextuplets · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
i do my lil dancy dance
634 notes · View notes
seaquestions · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
blake lets him keep it. this is a dire lapse in judgement on his part but they're just gonna have to live with it. (ids in alts)
63 notes · View notes
lbhslefttiddie · 2 days ago
Text
a few Thoughts on the matter (somewhat long?):
the separation anxiety is real bad. yqy is no longer able to trust that sqq will not die or perhaps just vanish the Second yqy turns away. this drives sqq a Little bit insane bc for a minute he thinks yqy thinks he's not capable of taking care of himself. yqy is just not fully able to believe this is real and that he isnt going to lose xiao jiu all over again (and again, and again, and again—)
its only a matter of time before sqq figures out yqy's whole Thing is something that cannot be attributed wholly to poor teaching or care while he was gone. its fun bc in this world theres literally no one at all who could know the truth besides yqy, who is, of course, incapable of speaking about it. sqq is piecing together a working theory about some sort of curse he encountered during the time they were apart that deeply traumatized him, but whatever it is, it seems no one else ever found out about it....
honestly its good for the prev sect leader that the xuan su/ling xi caves bullshit isnt a thing anymore, because if it was sqq would have eventually pinned the prev sect leader as responsible for how deeply fucked up yqy is (which isnt wholly unfair) now and probably would have killed her lmao
yqy has lost all ability to pretend that sqq is not always his first priority. he wears the visage of placid geniality and reliable older brotherisms easily, because its worn itself into his skin over countless lifetimes, and he has not changed in that he is generally kind and avoids conflict, but when if comes to sqq he is not capable of remaining mild anymore. man cant even pretend to listen to the other side, if sqq says it went like this then it went like this, and he gets real threatening real fast when something presents itself as a risk to sqq. and everyone just has to sort of Deal With It, because yqy is Insanely Fucking Strong in this au, and sqq is, somehow, actually the only thing keeping him from tearing the world apart at the seams or otherwise tanking the sect
sqh never makes it to sect leader; yqy already knows about his future betrayal, so the instant sqq clocks the suspiciousness of him not dying from that one demon encounter his ass is getting investigated to hell and back; if he is caught he would get executed; though, given the cleverness and sheer drive to not die that fuels sqh (either iteration), its possible he would avoid that fate, whether by fleeing the sect or covering his ass well enough, but he will never be trusted enough to rise to peak lord in this life
yqy is so caught up in the I Don't Need Anything Or Care About Anything As Long As Xiao Jiu Is Okay mentality that romance does not even exist in his mind, and if it did, he would never dare threaten what he has for something that he doesnt need. sqq, however, is going to eventually decide that the best way to communicate that he isnt going anywhere is for them to get married
though he still went though most of his canon childhood trauma, sqq is much better better off emotionally here, because A) it is not even possible to doubt that yqy cares about him more than anything in the world and would have saved him if he could and that he tried so, so hard, and B) fussing over the mess that is yqy keeps him thoroughly occupied such that he cannot wallow in self hatred or start beefing with preteens or what have you
this does probably fall into the category of aus where lbh goes to bai zhan instead of qing jing because sqq could not give a single shit about lqg in this world
funny enough there is like a 70% chance lqg dies in this universe. theres a non-zero chance that with yqy unable to part from him that sqq just wouldn't end up going into secluded cultivation at the time that lqg is in the ling xi caves, and if he goes into seclusion With yqy there's like a 50/50 chance yqy would kill lqg himself. it might mot even be on purpose too, if qi deviating lqg tried to attack sqq, yqy could possibly smack him aside and do enough thoughtless damage then, considering his own strength and lqg's weakened state, to accidentally kill the guy. but also theres a definite possibility of him killing him on purpose for attacking sqq
if lqg dies then i think it would be so funny if lbh and lmy got together (not romantically; lbh definitely wanted to smash lqg in this au) to exact revenge on yqy but like. nothing comes of it ever. bc what are they gonna do? yqy is stronger here than he was in pidw canon, and with sqq always at his side all his weaknesses are covered. sqq himself could of course be identified as his primary weakness, but the man is untouchable in this au, both physically and in terms of his reputation; yqy is the one who killed lqg and straight up fucking said as much as soon as they left the caves; sqq is a distant master in this au but not abusive, he probably doesn't even remember lbh exists; hell, he possibly doesn't even know that ning yingying exists in this au, and even if he did he doesn't have a reputation as a lecher, and lbh and nyy likely never even met; yqy specifically made sure to kill qht so that she could never come back to punish sqq for letting her live, and with that there is no one left alive besides themselves who knows they once were slaves, nor of sj's involvement with wyz; sqh has been dealt with years ago, which means the immortal alliance conference demon invasion never happens, which means lbh never falls into the endless abyss, least of all by sqq's hand (and even if he had its not like anyone in the cultivation world would fault sqq for killing a heavenly demon in itself), which also means lbh will never find xin mo or become as powerful as he did in pidw. and even if they HAD things to accuse sqq of, his standing amongst his martial siblings in this life if MUCH better than once it was; they will stand for him in the name of sect solidarity.
all of this is to say that lbh and lmy might try some plots but nothing would ever come of it; perhaps eventually they will leave the sect in anger and end up falling in with the huan hua palace master, and perhaps this would eventually lead to an intersect war, perhaps, but nothing would come of that, either, and there's no guarantee that even the hhpm would try to fuck with that (gesturing at yqy) in this lifetime
equally likely that what would actually come of it is lbh finding out the truth about sxy and tlj and tanking hhp from the inside. as he deserves.
meanwhile lmy has split from lbh once its become clear they weren't going to get anywhere in avenging her brother and has since found herself in good company at tian yi overlook
in the 30% chance that lqg doesnt die in the ling xi caves, he may or may not become a fun occasional addition to qijiu sexytimes
more seriously, sqq and lqg do not have the same animosity they did in their original lifetimes. lqg still respects yqy for his strength but he does recognize that if sqq were a different person, he could have had yqy destroy half the world before anyone managed to stop him, and to recognize that he necessarily has to respect sqq as well. it helps that there aren't any sussy rumours about sqq in this life fro them to fight over.
meanwhile yqy remembers that in lifetimes where lqg has lived past the caves incident, he has been willing to put his life on the line to defend sqq, which is like the only metric by which he measures anyone's worth these days. sqq, for his part, can appreciate both the value of a dedicated guard dog who is capable of leaving his side for extended periods of time, and the physical prowess and stamina that accompanies the bai zhan war god's very pretty face
suddenly seized with the desire to write/draw a few short little scenes from the world after the events of You Can (Not) Redo (the uh. the yqy timeloop fanfiction. not the evangelion movie which i named it for) because it is, generally speaking, a happy ending, but also yqy is left deeply, deeply broken in ways that would be both fascinating and hilarious to explore
27 notes · View notes
fruitybashir · 6 months ago
Text
i got tagged by @ljubitelj-sonca @apfel07 and @itskrejsaitsparty to post the last line i wrote down, although i can see almost everyone disregards the line part and posts a paragraph haha so uhmmmm im also going to ignore the line limit 👍🏻 and since i got tagged by three people ill post three paragraphs bc what are rules anyways
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i uhhh im not tagging anyone bc as with most of these things im getting to them very late and i feel like everyone has already been tagged, oopsie
28 notes · View notes
phagodyke · 3 months ago
Text
the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
11 notes · View notes
volivolition · 9 months ago
Text
suggestion do you have... any wants? like obviously you do but like? suggestion my guy my ourple boy. both the easiest and hardest to write. you need a skill to say something to move conversation along but it doesn't fit any skill in particular? about 80% of the time you can have suggestion say it and it will make sense. but like actually characterizing him... how do i define you dude... what makes your character tick... urgh. i dont get you yet. im trying to understand but you are difficult.
#chemi chats#there are some skills that i just dont understand yet and that just means i have to work on their character study chapter#im reading his bio and i think suggestion is a good manipulator and it's instinctive and he tries not to feel bad about it?#he's clever!! charming!! friends with savvy and drama. planting seeds in the mind and coaxing them to grow towards him like he's the sun.#a crude oil reservoir lying beneath a carefully laid flower bed. taps into the roots. the plants don't know any better than to drink.#he's great at sensing what makes people tick and uses that to his advantage. he needs goals to look forward to so he knows how to best#pull the strings to get them there. otherwise he's a bit aimless. he likes being useful. and since influencing others is helpful#he just keeps doing it? because it's what he's good at. and he tries to convince himself its fun and cool and just cuz hes charming and#it's his role as a skill and manipulation isnt thaaaat bad because it's helpful to them after all... but he does feel bad sometimes.#oh im listening to his voice lines and i just got to ''brother you should have put me in front of a firing squad'' and im sad about him now#but what do you want for short term little guy?? probably for people to like him. he likes chatting with people. i bet he'd like genuine#conversations with no strings attached but there's always some part of him filing information and tidbits away that he can't turn off#subconsciously figuring out things he can hold over them or how he can nudge them into thinking someth-/wait.../ no. no he's just talking.#he's /supposed/ to just be talking stop analyzing them stop falling back into that just have a normal conversation!! but he can't help it..#hm. this is all really helpful for his chapter. he and empathy are very alike but also different. very interesting...#task: swept up#okay good talk everyone i think i understand him a little better now lmao?? still gotta figure him out some more hes not fully there but ye#also i think he goes by whatever pronoun you think he'd use. just ''oh what do /you/ think i am hm?? what /would/ i use; do you think?? :)'#funny fella. i love you.
17 notes · View notes
strawberry-cowmilk · 3 months ago
Text
oh no somebody I do not want to know about my online presence might have found this account luckily I didn't find anything suspicious in my follower list but oh my god
#nana talks#its literally my dad too I'm not gonna get into the whole lore of why I genuinely don't like him but he's an awful person#I hope nobody has to deal with somebody like that ever not even my worst enemy I'm not kidding#so like I'm hoping he's not stalking this blog#like literally what can he do not like its gonna drive me off of the platform I literally don't care about his opinion of me#but its still unsettling if he is trying to keep track of his adult daughter like this#anyways I don't know if I should reach out to tumblr support because like they probably can't do anything#literally up until I was like 15 he had stuff installed that would let him see everything I do online#eventually that app or something of his shut down and I was free hehe#like this man did and said the most horrendous things under the sun and he's like omg why does nana not want to spend time with him#I don't even care if he's reading this he knows that I don't like him#best thing you can do if you have someone like this in your life is just do whatever you want don't let them bother you that much#eventually they'll realise they can't bother you anymore#like literally for the longest while I thought he would never shut up with the insults directed towards me#but like a couple of months of not caring about it and not talking to him later and he left me alone#so like if anyone reading this can relate I am proof that it does get better my dad is the most stubborn and mean case too#so I promise you it will be okay
10 notes · View notes
itsalwaysdark · 1 month ago
Text
and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4
#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly#rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever#and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and#stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc#him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare#longingly at the floorplan i did#bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right#there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan#i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk#but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm#youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan#still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead#i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town#4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better#for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome#but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4#me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive#which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with#them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between#me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from#work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the#power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a#good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her#deeply#her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell#bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now
4 notes · View notes