#its okay to just be a lesbian just respect us and stop stealing from us i beg im so tired

[howljenky]

I have a few things to say thats been circling in my mind a lot.

The reduction and watering down of the word Femme to mean Feminine woman, not even lesbian as i saw bi ppl use it as well, and straigh women use it as well, as an empowering feminine word that completly disregard the culture of the word, made me ocasionally think to myself "ugh i hate being called a femme" and made me have life crises in which i forget what Femme stands for, because i have no map for it, and noone to cling to, and teach me, and remind me, that i exist in this world to love butches. The loneliness i feel is tearing me apart. More under cut.

Feminine women saw the word femme, and decided femmes are trying to replicate heterosexuality, that femmes are selfish, and close minded, and "exclusuonists", and they took this word for themselves to preach about how good femme4femme relationships are, how ignorant and misogynistic we were for not choosing to date other feminine women, and for replicating heterosexuality, they took it and trampled over us for not being progressive, for choosing to date the ugly mean dykes. And this is it, this is the reason they did it. Their hatered for butches and masculine women.

This hatered is why terms like "soft butch" exists, this is why everyone tells butches they can be feminine if they want to, while pissing and dissing on the butches that reject every form of feminity, calling them links to toxic masculinity, calling them predatory, and mean, and cold hearted, and cheaters, and emotionally closed off, in our own lesbian community no less, which come to bite femmes in the ass as well for choosing to date such "heartless bastards", to the point you take the word femme from us to "save us" or whatever is going through their minds, while also telling everyone a characteristic of being a lesbian is to be soft masculine. They want that "soft androgyny" aesthetic, masculine women to at least have a feminine thing about them, as if butches are still obliged by the police to have 3 women garments on themselves like in our past culture, but not to be too feminine, because then u have to date other feminine lesbians, or fall into this category of lesbians that are being asked "so why dont you just date a man?" Because people just cannot get through their thick skulls that lesbians have NOTHING to do with men. Not too feminine, because feminity is men's.

So alright, they hate the butches, and they "reclaimed" femme from those who stay with the butches. And it is good for them! They can use the word femme as they please, while continuing to compare butches to men and out relationship to a straight one. But what does that mean for the butchfemme culture?

It directly harms out community. We cannot find eachother that easily anymore. I see the word femme and instead of being estatic that i am not alone in this world, I get wary and confused, to the point that I dont even search for femmes like me anymore. Im okay alone as well, as long as i have the attention of butches. The word femme made me so distant of its meaning, that only butches can pull me out of it and remind me just why i exist and what i am fighting for, just by existing in the same space as them. But they have it hard too. On top of all the hate, from straight people and from the lgbt+ community and even from the lesbian comunity, they have a hard time finding femmes to truly understand them, and love them, and be patient with them as well. The rings of this community falls so thight and it always feels like its getting smaller and smaller instead of larger. Consciously or not, the pressure and hatered we get drives us away from ourselves. The pressure of finding femmes like me, the disappointment i get often of not being understood by fellow lesbians drove me away from them. It's just butches i can rely onto. For lesbians and for other members of the lgbt community, this makes me an exclusionist, a demon, a bad person.

The lack of media representation is a problem here as well. No straight person wants to see an old mean dyke on the screen, so they don't put them. They don't put them so that they won't turn to "stereotypical lesbians". They don't put them because they hate them. The lesbian representation is few as it is, but it is all feminine women, or femme4femme as the others with no regard to the butchfem community chose to name it. This mainly is to appeal to the male gaze, so that no man would feel threatened by someone more masculine than them. In this world, not even lesbians, who exclude men, can never separate from them entirely. Butches get compared to men, femmes are put in a box of feminity for the male gaze, and both being called a heterosexual replica, a second hand straight couple, by everyone. No wonder it took so long for me to even know what i was. And who i was. Where could i have seen myself, if there were no femmes on the screen? How would i have known who i love if there arent any butches in media? If it hadnt been for my then-friend and now unapologetical butch girlfriend, i wouldn't have read stone butch blues, and then i wouldnt have read all the other books, and i wouldnt have gotten myself in that thight spot in the small community, and i would have still be lost and lonely. Now i am just lonely, but not lost.

This lack of representation also makes everyone go along with internet trends, and not getting documented on the culture. They go along with what the others say, because theres barely any place to learn about this and to fully capture its essence and meaning. We are silenced, and deemed not worthy to be heard, because of modernised times, and changes in meanings, and being regressive. But my love for butches is an act of revolution against everyone that might call me selfish, or straight, a fake persona, and its not lower than the other non-aligned lesbians.

This is why I am still an unapologetical Femme. I am a femme, because of the feminine women around me invalidating my identity with calling themselves femme. I am femme, because of loving butches. I am femme because i exist to love and cherish and respect butches. I am femme because when everyone hates butches, where else would they go? Where is their home? Where are they fully accepted? Unconditionally? Where are butches allowed to be masculine without getting bashed for it? Who understands how butches love? Who desires them, without sexualising them?

I am femme because i am a home to butches. I am femme because, regardless of what others say, my femininity still isnt for men, and never will be. I am femme because i want change. I am femme because until butches get accepted as they are, unconditionally and without a doubt, i am not accepted either, and i refuse to get accepted without them. I am femme, until the day i see myself on the screen, until i see my lovers on the screen, until i see our love accepted and beyond that. I am a femme because i want to leave a piece of my love for butches on earth. I am femme because i want to teach, and be heard. My femme-ness doesnt sit in my feminity alone. Femme is liberating, and secure, not restaining, and forced.

I have so much else to say, but this is getting ridiculously long, and all over the place, but these were my thoughts. I desire for a day in which i could be understood. Of course, these thoughts are coming from an easter european mindset, as of where there isnt any representation, zero knowledge on the matter, post-comminist country in which lgbt people need to still hide in certain situations. I am angry at the world's view of the word femme, and what it got to mean these days. I am angry at the hatered towards butches. I am angry and i will not shut up about it anymore.

All i am asking is. Educate yourself. Be conscious of words and what they mean. Respect us. Stop making up new words for every single thing. Futch isnt real guys. Thats all.

.

Terfs and transmysoginists and any other fucker that dares to think this post doesn't include trans women fuck off. Trans butches, studs and trans femmes are always loved and welcomed here. Racists fuck off as well, you arent needed.

[curedeity]

Shogun Steel Episode 8:

-whats that in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! Its misogyny!

-i do like the idea of the gang going around ti show off the cyclone stadium, but i do remember them going through it too quick

-side note i love how everyone is standing casually while tsubasa talks to them while shinobu is stiff as a board. Hes such a fucking disaster.

-the line readings are kinda stiff this scene im really wondering if it was just a problem with scene length

-"the dream of holding a beyblade world tournament! I have really fond memories of my mental breakdown!"

-zyro and maru traveling together! Zyro and maru bonding! Only not because theyre gonna skip over it!

-shinobu teaching everyone how to battle by kicking their asses

-eight shouldve tried to skate into the stadium

-honestly if people tried to teach me like this id unionize against them

-sidenote at this point i actually left to watch a nice lesbian anime with my brother so i know that i am now in the perfect state for this episode to dissappoint me.

-sakyo should be the youngest of the older cast. Just for his intro line.

-okay i do like the lead up to be a left rotating bey, the way kite talks doesnt immediately clue us into that but going back already knowing it makes that line hit

-takanosuke is here legit to steal rens job again!!!! Bro!!!! How are you so misogynist! Ren isnt even allowed to have her time! Takanosuke has to ruin it!

-"im going to beat zyro and shinobu and become the ultimate gay!" You cant be the ultimate gay if you dont respect women takanosuke

-if they make ren lose again i swear to fucking god-

-"GrIiIifIiIn" have i mentioned i love takanosukes voice actor

-takanosuke can you stop being so demeaning

-hi sakyo im gonna shoot your ass

-sakyo is here to surpass ryugas legacy of misogyny

-why does sakyo talk like that, i forgot he did

-the choir music pfffft

-im so sorry im so sorry guys but sakyo kinda sounds like a cowboy to me-

-okay an actual cool battle trick from shinobu

-"WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO RUIN MY BATTLE? WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ALL OF MY BATTLES? I SWEAR TO GOD IM GOING TO PUNCH HIM WHEN I MEET HIM BECAUSE HE IS FUCKING DISCRIMINATING AGAINST ME"

-"i dont need a reason. I just hate women."

-omg now theyre talking about ryuga honestly guys stop making him sound so cool he was a little idiot without any common sense. He didnt know how to interact with a kid.

-time for rens fourth loss in a row. Im not bitter.

-DID HE FUCKING THROW REN OF THE PLATFORM I AM SO MAD. BITCH I HOPE YOU FALL IN A PIT AND BLEED OUT

-did not like that scene did not like this at all. Has very hikaru getting beaten in two seconds just to establish a mans power vibes. At least hikaru had a win before that.

-takanosuke stop holding ren like that pleade

-takanosuke watches sakyo be misogynist and is like "yeah thats the type of blader i wanna be!"

-takanosuke is getting karmic treatment for his introduction

-OH SO TAKANOSUKE IS ALLOWED TO CHALLENGE SAKYO BUT NOT REN MHM BECAUSE WOMEN CAN ONLY BE QUICKLY DEFEATED WITHOUT BEING GIVEN A CHANCE

-"those two beys are so much alike! Just like their users misogyny!"

-i need pics of manga sakyo to clear my palette

-sakyos only goal is to fucking demean people

-bro whered you even get ronin dragoon did you just find it in a cliff somewhere and decide it was time to be a theater kid now

-i hate the anime versions of both takanosuke and sakyo

-shinobu has been hilarious this whole episode

-omg this guy looks like aguma

-akuya. They arent even trying.

-maru should go kick them in the kneecaps

-summary: i dont know if i hate this episode or episode 6 more but both of them are awful. The blatant misogyny of this series in specific becomes apparent every time ren is on screen. Its awful. There are very little redeeming qualities this episode and ultimately i think it was a terrible mistake. Sakyo and takanosuke both deserve violence commited against them in the name of feminism.

[tooinlovewithfictionalpeople]

Dating the Hargreeves

Luther Hargreeves

-You met when one day you were called to the Hargreeve residence

- Your mother was a friend of Reginald and she had asked you to deliver a letter to him.

- On arriving you noticed how empty the place was

- So as Reginald took the letter from you, he told you to come back in ten minuets when he had written the reply

- Thinking he lived alone now, you just wondered about the house, until you bumped into Luther

- After stating your business, he seemed to warm up to you a lot more, even if he was a tad awkward

- You realised that he was just really lonely

- So you invited him for coffee

- He was so shocked all he could do was nod

- The coffee date went well the next day

- It was all going swimmingly, the two of you were good friends but right as you both were realising your feelings were more than just friends

- His dad sent him to the moon

- Pogo let you message him three times a day

- But you still missed him

- You didn’t understand why he couldn’t disobey orders

- But you respected his choice and waited

- For years

-When he finally came back he was slightly more clingy than he was usually and you two quickly became an item

- He was a broken soul who just needed some love

- And attention

- And to believe he didn’t waste four years of his life

- When you two started dating he was basically your own personal teddy bear

- he’s so warm so if you’re cold he would let you cuddle up to him

- he’d be so gentle because he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you

- You would constantly be there to remind him to be nice to his siblings

- going stargazing together 

- or moon gazing the guy has an obsession

- You would steal his coat and make brilliant impressions of him, much to the joy of Diego and Klaus

-You are defiantly the smart one so Luther would always go to you for advice

- he’s so protective and will glare at any man who looks your way

- which can get a bit annoying but it’s nothing to bad.

- He’s really insecure so you would constantly assure him that he was beautiful the way he was

- Helping Luther see that dear old Dad was not the nicest guy

- Your best friend is 100% Diego though

- Which Luther hates because if you're mad at him, he’s doomed on all fronts

- He buys you chocolate though so you keep him around

- He has a good heart really

Diego Hargreeves

-You're both vigilantes of sorts

- You're more like a private investigator plus baddass crime stopper

- Police pay you to solve crimes, and then the government pay you even more money to take out pesky people

- It was kinda fun

- You meet Diego when Patch brings him in

- He overhears what job you’re doing and asks why you’re getting paid doing the same thing he’s getting arrested for

- Patch laughs and tells him that you are more of a private investigator

- You smile, thinking that would shut him up 

- But no. He starts calling you Sherlock

- Wearing that stupid smirk as he says it

- Your meetings become more frequent and he always teases you about your job but its nothing more than that

- Until one day he realises you don’t actually have a house, you live in a car

- Because even though your job pays well, you move around a lot and most of you money goes to your sister so she can afford a house, and living with her may but her life at risk

- So he offered the spare bedroom in his apartment 

- He assures you he can take care of himself

- So you agree

- And slowly you adjust your life to be with him

- You take turns cooking at first and then it turns into a you cook whilst he cleans because he cannot cook

- And then he takes you on a date

- He’s a shy stuttering mess when he asks you on a date, nothing like the mischievous confident man you'd known

- It was adorable so you said yes

- Things went really well so you guys decided to date

- He is such a cuddler

- Secretly likes being the little spoon, or sleeping on your stomach because it makes him feel safe

- But also likes being the big spoon because he likes to feel like he’s protecting you

- You’re probably the cook as he can only make eggs

- And even tho “They’re great eggs Y/N,” they’re “Not a balanced diet Diego,”

- Patching him up when he’s on his nightly hero duty things

- If you have work in the morning you will leave cute notes around the house for him to wake up to, and he does the same for you when he works

- When he grows his hair out he secretly lets you braid it as long as you tell no one.

- Until Klaus find’s out and gets you to braid his hair too

- He cannot say no to you, so gets through the day of relentless teasing by his siblings when you painted his nails 

- It was worth it to see you smile

- Full on shouting at Reginald at the dinner table when he upset Diego because HOW DARE HE make your boyfriend stutter like that

- The other siblings looking at you in shock because you were the calm and reasonable one 

- He wouldn’t really get jealous because he trusted you, but can’t resist showing off the fact you’re his girlfriend when someone starts to flirt with you

- Okay maybe he is jealous

Allison Hargreeves 

- For some reason you are immune to her power

- You found this out when Reginald tried to forcefully recruit you to the academy when you were fifteen, using her power and you just responded “I don’t know where you heard that sunshine.”  before merrily skipping off.

- She was shook

- The two of you started meeting at Griddy’s donuts

- At first she wanted to know how you managed to get away

- But eventually she started to like you

- You were sassy and smart and didn’t put up with her shit

- This is probably why Five adored you so much - you two became best friends

- She always held your hand and often kissed it softly if you were deep in thought

- You taught her how to get people to do what you say without using her power

- Which meant you guys left with a lot of free stuff

- She always loved to show you off, PDA was something she had no problem with

- Much to the disgust of some of the siblings

- Being in the 60′s as a lesbian couple was difficult

- So you pretended to be cousins

- which was weird for both of you

- She would constantly buy extravagant gifts for you, especially when she had the money

- Despite the fact that in public you seem like the one in charge, she is 100% the big spoon

- She likes the feeling of feeling truly needed

Klaus Hargreeves

- You meet in the war, you’re the bar tender that introduced him to Dave

- The talk he had with you was very brief but he remembered your face

- So years later, when he went back to that same Bar once he got back from the past he was shocked to see you serving people having not aged a day

- At first he thought you just has really good genes you had passed on but you were identical to the way he remembered you

- The he thought he was seeing your ghost but he saw that you were interacting with others

- So he called you over

- You didn't seem shocked to see him but pleasantly surprised

- You explained that you had gotten in a bit of a pickle as you were picking up a suitcase from the commission so you could retire but Five blew the place up causing the suitcase to malfunction

- So you were stuck in a warzone until you figured out how to fix the case

- You also told Klaus to give his brother a slap when he next saw him

- He did, but Five was very pleased to see you as you were a good friend to him and knew how to help

- Anyways after a couple of soft drinks you and Klaus got to know each other better

- And after a while the two of you became an item and life just got better

Helping him remain sober

- Cuddles all the time because he is needy

- you guys shared clothes because neither if you give a fuck

- You show him other ways to get high without damaging his body

- like taking him skydiving or to a theme park

- you always listen to him

- And will shout at the siblings when they undermine Klaus

- You keep the ghosts at bay, and will often hold him when he sleeps so stop any nightmares

- However neither of you can cook

- which leads to you waltzing off to Allison’s house at three in the morning because she can cook

- She doesn’t mind though because she’s never seen her brother this happy when hes sober

- You are best friends with Ben, and can also see and hear him so like to talk shit about Klaus when he’s in the room

- He is a pro at forehead kisses

- He’ll wrap you in his arms and just lightly kiss your forehead

- Because you make him feel safe, so he returns the favour

Five Hargreeves

- You worked with the commission as an assassin and after a few weeks of Five being there, he was told that you would be his partner

- He was a little annoyed because that would mean he wouldn’t be able to work on the apocalypse on the job in case you told on him

- Then he met you and you were nothing like he expected

- He’d seen you train, seen you kill five men whilst barely moving and go after the most dangerous of people

- So why were you so nice?

-You were like a little ball of sunshine and he was Mr grumpy

- When you were informed that he had been alone for 45 years, Five thought you’d run away from him, scared that you were friends with a madman

- But instead you walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his waist

- At first he didn’t know how to respond but then he hugged you back

- And then you two became inseparable

- He wasn’t much into PDA especially when you got back to the Hargreaves siblings

- He didn’t want to be bullied

-But you loved affection

-So he compromised and the two of you would subtly lock pinkies

-But that was it

-Until you were alone

-Oh boy

- He needed coaxing at first because he’s socially awkward

- But he loves to be cuddled. He loves laying on your stomach, or holding you against his chest or wrapping his arms around your waist

- He’s a sucker for when you run your hands through his hair

- It makes him w e a k 

-When he’s working you’ll sit on his lap

- Because you want attention and he overworks himself

- You constantly look after him, making sure he drinks water and shit

- Because you cannot run on coffee alone

- The siblings become suspicious when they catch Five staring at you

- So they decided to spy on him

- And whilst they spied, they saw their mardy little brother dancing (Rather gracefully) around the Kitchen with you, both laughing as if there was no one else there

- Which tbf they didn’t think there was

- “They could just be working a case?” suggested Luther

- But that was quickly brushed aside when Five kissed you

- “Turns out the Hargreaves are capable of Love,” was all Klaus said although they were secretly thrilled at the fact you and Five were together.

Ben Hargreeves

- You were just a small town waitress 

- Working another long shift at your work, you saw two men come in, one rather skinny and hippie looking, and the other dressed in all black

- You’re a naturally sweet person so serving them with a smile wasn’t a problem

- But when you asked Ben what he wanted he just froze in shock

- After some explaining you decided to let the two guys stay at your apartment for a while, as they were lost anyway

- You all became super super close

- You helped Klaus become sober again

- And then you realised that not only could you see Ben, but you could make him physically there just by touching him

- You learnt this when you accidentally ran into him nearly knocking yourself out

- The Klaus was no longer the clingy one

-Ben was always touching you, not in a weird way just always brushing hands or wrapping himself around you

- He loved cuddles, just feeling warm for once

- He’d cuddle you no matter what, and if you had a tiring day at work he would be there to sweep you off your feet

- you made him feel alive again

- When he was touching you others could see him too

- which meant you automatically became the family favourite, after you helped Klaus, and then Ben

- Ben loves it when you read to him, it just calms him down

- His favourite thing to do is to sit in the park with you sat between his legs, lent against his chest listening to you read

- He wears the flower crowns you make with pride

- It takes ages to figure out why you can see him and make him real as you were actually a couple months younger than him

- Turns out you had died as a baby for exactly 108 seconds and that had left you with ties to both the physical world and the afterlife - and it was Mr Reginald Hargreeves who had saved you

- You were convinced he was an alien but the others disagreed

- You helped Ben not fear his power

- The guy is king of nose kisses. He just finds it really cute when you scrunch your nose, either in disgust or frustration or confusion

- You always kiss jawline, as if you’re snuggled together it’s often the only place you can reach

- Vanya is your best friend, you always invite her because she understands what it’s like to not know the extent of your own power

- Klaus is scared at first because he doesn’t want Ben to leave him although he would never admit it

- But then he realised he hadn’t lost a constant companion, he’d just gained another

- Ben loves to surprise you with cute simple things, like setting up a movie and hot chocolate, or picking out flowers he found at some point for you

- Dancing round the kitchen would be a daily thing

- You even got Five to join in 

- You make the best waffles so every morning all the siblings come to your house just to eat the waffles you make

- It’s like they are a family again, but this time they have you

Vanya Hargreeves

- She’s a bit iffy with personal contact

- It makes her a little nervous

- But you’re okay with that, she shows her love in other ways

- Like she’ll always make you tea in the mornings, or make sure you’re under the blanket before she sleeps because she knows you get cold

- You meet for the first time when you’re kids. The other siblings are saving everybody and ask you to stand with the others, because to them you’re just a civilian

- But when things start to go sideways, it’s you who helps them, using your powers of mental manipulation to make the bad guys visualise their worst fear

- Sir Hargreeves takes you in immediately, adopting you as Number Eight.

-The other kids felt bad for you when Reginald left you on your own, and it was Klaus who spoke

-”He’s not a good parent, he isn’t really here at all so I’m sorry if this wasn't what you were expecting,” but you were happy

“My real dad gave me this scar when he tried to stab me,” you replied with a little laugh “Ill take yours any day,”

-After that you and Vanya bonded over the fact you were both the black sheep of the family

- You always made sure she was included, and felt a bit bad that you weren’t a sibling but were often invited to more places than her

- During your teenage years you and Vanya clearly had something going on, so Reginald sent you away to France to study your powers

- It wasn’t until his death did you two see each other again

- It felt like you had never really left and things kicked off again

- But the Harold came along and told Vanya you were just as bad as the rest

- So she abandoned you

- You meet  for the third time in the 60′s, you’re staying with a married couple and their disabled son

- Vanya recognises you but she doesn’t know where from which breaks your heart slightly but it’s okay

- Because the more she spends time with you the more she falls in love with you

- She finally asks you to be her girlfriend

- Which you say yes

- Although she’s not big on affection, she loves it when you lay in her lap, it makes her feel trusted

- She loves to play the violin for you

- When she starts to grow used to affection, she loves it when you sleep all curled up beside her like a cat

- Or when you play with her hair

- Or kiss her cheek

- You make her feel like she’s valid and that’s all she ever wanted

[spockandawe]

OH RIGHT, I also have to follow up on The Healer Demands Payment!

Because oh my god, you guys

This is the most fun I’ve had with a cnovel in EONS (by eons, I mean like. a week. I'm an impatient binch). I was just poking idly around on novelupdates, and I tripped across an absolute GEM, and I need to scream about it. Which I already did once before, so I’ll try not to rehash things too-too badly, but I hit the end of the translation and blew through into MTL, because how was I supposed to stop? I’m still not caught up with MTL (not that it matters, since the story is ongoing), but I trust this author to take me good places, and I’m about 99% positive the author is deliberately playing with genre-based storytelling conventions, if a little more subtly than svsss. 

I’m going to get into more spoilers as I go along than I did last time, all things revealed fairly early, but if you’d rather read it cold (a++, do recommend, but not critical for reading pleasure), hit up that post instead of this one. But these first couple paragraphs aren’t super revealing.

The premise!! Meng Qi is a healer. Her first time living her life, she tried to charitably do good and heal the people around her in need. However, like every time she tried to treat a guy, circumstances were such that everyone thought she looked suspicious, credit was given to her shijie, Lu Qingran, and then all the guys went off to moon over Lu Qingran. Meng Qi does her own thing for a while, and even picks up a shizun who she adores, and who is her research partner developing all kinds of revolutionary new medical techniques. When she eventually died (I still don’t know how, but it definitely looks like Lu Qingran was swooning into the arms of the man who did it), Meng Qi was told that Lu Qingran was beloved by the heavens. Then... Meng Qi woke up, age 17 or 18, just as she entered her sect, but with all the theoretical knowledge that she accumulated in her past life.

When our story begins, the first of Lu Qingran’s love interests has just entered the scene. He staggers back to the sect, carrying Lu Qingran, badly poisoned after encountering a magic beast in the woods. Meng Qi knows how to treat him. But she’s also aware that yeah, after she did this last time, she slaved away from a week, and passed out in exhaustion, just in time for Lu Qingran to wake up and say she saw ~someone~ in their sect’s uniform in the forest just before the beast attacked. Meng Qi is all set to be locked in jail for three months until someone gets around, finally, to clearing her name. Meanwhile, clown prime, Chu Fengtian, is busy mooning over Lu Qingran and ignoring all the work she did to save him.

Yeah! She’s not super interested!!!!!!!!!

So she thinks about this for a little while, and decides that the best way to extract herself from any kind of karmic entanglements is to make sure any work she does is just a pure, simple exchange of goods. So... she says she can treat him, and she charges him money. A lot of money.

He’s angry and embarrassed and has to sign an official IOU, her sect is upset with her, but her sect also knows that treating this poison is beyond their capabilities, so they’re like ‘yeah, whatever, humiliate yourself, i guess!’ She doesn’t, because she is a good and clever girl, and as Chu Fengtian’s humiliation fades, he seems to.... gradually realize that Lu Qingran shouldn’t be the object he orbits. Meng Qi charges him money for everything she does for him, all the different pills and such, and he’s, uh. He’s starting to get into it, and I am living.

I won’t lie, whenever I talk about this book I’ve been framing it as accidental findom harem acquisition, and I’m not wrong.

Now, at this point, Meng Qi kind of has a grasp on what Events ought to be transpiring, and is managing along. That gradually fades as the plot progresses, but it’s an early element. She acquires an injured baby tiger she wants to heal, who, uh, is definitely actually a member of a royal demon clan trapped in beast mode (and baby mode). To treat this tiger, she needs expensive-ass medicine. And now, our girl has additional motivation to extort the men around her (mostly) for everything they have. She also accidentally runs into another of Lu Qingran’s eventual love interests, Qin Xiumo, recovering from the aftermath of a failed heavenly tribulation, and in a really bad way. She... can treat him. If he pays :3c

(Lu Qingran almost steals credit for Meng Qi’s work, again, and this is the point where I start to wonder if there’s some kind of.... legit gravitational field around her that’s altering people’s perceptions, because this is a terribly consistent pattern. The Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir had a toxic white lotus of its own, but what she was able to do isn’t the same as Lu Qingran, and the way people eventually break free of orbit around Lu Qingran and realize that things are Strange is fascinating)

And now here is where I was like OHHHHHHH.

Because the moment Chu Fengtian gets Qin Xiumo alone, he’s like ‘right, you and me, we both remember our last lives, right? we remember how lu qingran got us killed? and how meng qi got caught up in that all trying to help us and died too? let’s NOT do that again’

MULTIPLE REINCARNATORS WITH MEMORIES OF THEIR LIVES

And here, I have to copy over this one bit again, because it made me go yeeeee out loud

“Meng Qi.” Qin Xiumo smiled. “You should always remember one thing.” He turned to look at Meng Qi. “If someone betrays and wrongs you in the future, don’t try to talk reason, just kill them.” He paused for a moment, then slowly said, “I know you can do it. As long as you don’t feel soft-hearted.

Qin Xiumo took a step towards Meng Qi. The mountain wind stirred his black robe, but he kept staring at her eyes. With a low whisper, he softly spoke every word. “Including me…if one day I betray you, bring you harm, just kill me without hesitation.”

Okay now

So

Here’s the funny thing

Because Meng Qi was not treated well by any of these love interests before, she’s totally willing to be pleasant with them, but like........... respect? what respect? the two boys out themselves to each other immediately, but they have no clue that meng qi remembers anything, and it’s hilarious. Also they start immediately getting into baby slapfights over who she’s charging more for certain services. Is it that she doesn’t care about you and only wants to talk money with you, or is it that hey, why did she charge you ten times as much for the same service??? The answer is yes. Also, Qin Xiumo offers to repay her with his body almost right away and she’s like No Thank You, and the moment their financial obligations are repaid, she’s like OKAY BYE, and it’s great.

Virtually every major character who’s been added to the party or exists on the outskirts of the party has won me over. Xue Junwen? A treasure. Su Junmo? A++++ gossipy fox bastard, would die for him. Sikong Xing? WONDERFUL fox lesbian, also a treasure, deserves the best girlfriend in the world. Pei Mufeng? BEST BOY, needs to tell me ALL his secrets!!!! Ji Wujiong? Absolute Bastard, my favorite lad, absolute treasure of a terrible man. I love him. And Meng Qi’s mysterious once-shizun is also floating around now, and is WILDLY jealous of who this ““shizun”” that she respects from her past could be.

The story has this balance I really, really like, where all of the major women who have shown up have either been absolutely delightful creatures or fascinating I-can’t-tell-if-they-know-they’re-toxic antagonists, and all the men have been SOME variety of clown. It’s so good.

And I’m speculating so hard about everything that’s happening!!! Why do three human lads appear to remember a past with Meng Qi, while at least two demons who were very involved with her definitely don’t? Meng Qi is getting SUPER good at arrays, but the narrative makes a point about how a ton of knowledge about arrays was lost in both the human and demon realms. So........ tell me more about the devil realm? Why have you told me so little about the devil realm, I’m getting suspicious! What the FUCK did all that internal damage to both Ji Wujiong and Yun Qingyan?? Are those wounds on Ji Wujiong’s face perhaps........... tiger claws? Do they have anything to do with a baby tiger’s injured paw that wouldn’t close until Meng Qi saved up for a ton of medicines? HOW MUCH DOES PEI MUFENG REMEMBER, and did he promise to go to the starfallen sea because of his PAST LIFE remembrances of meng qi? Why is he immune to propaganda lu qingran?

And also, last time I posted, I mentioned the strict stages of cultivation as my biggest downside in the novel. That’s still probably the case, but now, I’m invested. The conceit that Meng Qi’s theoretical knowledge far outstrips her cultivation is a fascinating one, and the story leans into it real, real good. Especially once Ji Wujiong got involved and started teaching her about arrays, and she wasn’t just leaning on rote lessons from the past to get by, it got so interesting. And some of the cultivation trappings that never really clicked for me are much more interesting in the context of a medical cultivation novel, like, I have never once cared what a spiritual sea is, but once it turns out that Ji Wujiong’s internal damage involves damage to his spiritual sea? Yes?? Tell me more?????

I’m genuinely shocked and delighted that I’m so invested in this book, because I only expected it to be a light, casual read from the start. I was looking for something to kill the time, not something to distract me while I’m supposed to be working, but I love it so much. I’m in the middle of wrapping up a story arc and pausing for air before I press on through the mtl, but I’m already planning to loop back to the beginning and read again and look for hints as soon as I finish. This is so GOOD. It was such a surprise how fun it was, but I love it so much!!

[ushiwakaout]

Lead Singer! Tamaki Amajiki with tattoo artist & lead guitarist S/O || MHA

Genre: Rock Star AU || Fluff || Self-Indulgent angst ||

⚠️ Warnings: Drug Use || Nsfw || Orgy || Mommy kink? ||

Words: 2k+

A/N: very self indulgent bc i love rockstar aus i’ve never seen one of tamaki so here it is! 

Gender Neutral Reader

Dude, don’t even get me started

HE SINGS LIKE JESSE THE GUY WHO SING SWEATHER WEATHER AND DADDY ISSUES

Can you imagine his singing devils advocate, holy shit he’d look so good MA’AM PLEASE

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT HE WOULDN’T DRESS LIKE HARRY STYLES 

He’s still shy and still has stage fright the first few times but your his lead guitar player (dated before the band was together)

Mirio is on the drums while Nejire is the bass player

It’s so hard not to pounce on him once he gets into his music like wow 

ESPECIALLY IF HE SUNG DEVILS ADVOCATE

You guys wear a matching matte black rings and people assume you’re married, y’all never say no so you’re gonna let people assume bc you’re fine with it.

You used to be a tattoo artist so many tattoos Tamaki has or will have, it’s done by you, he won’t want 

After every set he’ll either kiss you or your hand, it just depends if you go straight into the next set or not

He sings pretty boy dedicated to you bc if it where all to end, he’d be okay if it was by your side

The fans either ship you or they don’t 

It’s a little hard thinking that people don’t think you’re a good match but Tamaki always says that you’re his angel and he’d never fall in love with anyone else bc you’re his soulmate 

Some fans ship him with mirio and they both think its funny bc they’ve been best friends since they where kids so they don’t have a problem

But Tamaki does not, DOES NOT like it when they ship him with Nejire. Not that he doesn’t like her bc she, along with mirio, got him out of his comfort zone a lot (in a good way). 

He sees the way you’re smile fades when you see a post about their ship, people saying that they look good and all. It’s gotten to a point of wanting to break up with Tamaki just to make a handfull of fans happy

You’d do anything for his music to rise up the ranks, even if it meant losing your relationship

You’ve gone to mirio sobbing about this, it kinda hurt Tamaki that you didn’t go to him but you just couldn’t face him without the reminder of those stupid post

There was one day where a post said “look at the way he looks at her, he looks at her like he’s in love with her.” You looked at the picture for a long time and didn’t even realize the water works

You didn’t really mention it to anybody but when tamaki sang pretty boy, everyone could tell that it had a different feel to it

the set was over and before tamaki could look at you, you had already gone off the stage and ran towards the back locking yourself into the bathroom and kinda just letting it all out

god you hated this feeling, the ache in your chest 

Tamaki basically broke into the bathroom and froze when he saw you crying. He was so worry and so angry at the same time.

You both ended up crying on the bathroom floor together proclaiming your love for each other in such a snotty mess that it ended in laughter.

After that incident there was a long thread tweet of Tamaki explaining politely why he doesn’t like when people ship him with someone else other than his s/o or mirio (bc you don’t mind it either) people could tell that he was angry through the tweet and it was a lil scary bc tamaki DOES NOT GET ANGRY 

anygays- angst is over, sorry very self-indulgent. 

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THIS MAN DOESN’T SMOKE DUE TO ANXIETY 

You guys have 21+ concerts bc it’s those type of concerts where u can smoke weed legally and drink

SHOT GUN SMOKE WITH TAMAKI HOT HOT HOT

Tamaki’s a lil high so he does it with mirio too and u end up doing it with nejire (your relationship def gets a lot better after the whole shipping situation bc yall talk about it and nejire ends up outing herself to you guys as a lesbian)

so if you’re a girl, Tamaki will def. tell her to watch herself when it comes to his girl but if you’re a dude- you guys are like oh... cool, good for you.

MMM  tourbus sex

YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT AS A BAND YALL DIDN’T DO SOMETHING TOGETHER

you don’t Nejire anywhere near Tamaki tho, def a small cat fight while it happens 

TAMAKI GOT REALLY JELOUS WHEN MIRIO KISSED YOU OH MAN

Tamaki def fucked you several times while Mirio was listening bc TAMAKI WANTS HIM TOO KNOW WHO YOU BELONG TOO (cannon amajiki is a bottom and probably a pillow prince but fannon tamaki is a switch but in my head in this au TAMAKI IS A HARDCORE TOP)

Several occasions where you have to sit down during concerts bc tamaki ruined you minutes beforehand

FOR A FUCKING FACT yall do it in the dressing room and he just cums inside you and slips you’re underwear back on minutes before set AND U HAVE NO TIME TO CLEAN YOURSELF SO YOU’RE LIKE FUCK

mmm i love me some dom tamaki

Okay lets get to award shows

B E S T D R E S S E D C O U P L E A W A R D 

its something like this:  female / male

if y’all win something tamaki will NOT speak, way too many people are looking at him at the moment and he almost died during the pictures. 

“some many flashing cameras”

holds your hand tighter and y’all ask to get escorted out 

If y’all live together like only you and him, you’re house def is the definition of dark decor

if you guys every do get married, you aren’t getting a live band, everyone thought you did but it turns out it’s you guys in wedding attire- they love it.

Also very small wedding, somehow able to hide it from the pap and its like 50 people or so, mostly friends and like 1/3 family

100% LIKE PEWDIEPIES WEDDING. very very private but very nature/dark decor 

do y’all get wedding tattoos. yes. but not matching, not really.

do y’all tattoo each-other at the wedding... yes.

on your ring finger you have a sun and he has the moon.

you are the light that guides his threw the darkness  and he is your sun, always lighting up your life you know bc the sun lights up the moon

y’all just love eachother sorry

you don’t break up and y’all don’t expect to

BABIES Fem version

do you still play while pregnant yes

are people surprised, yell yeah

you gotta sit down tho bc your feet are killing you 

around the 6 to 9 month mark, the band goes on a break tamaki ends up going solo for a bit during the break and he makes you sing with him AND WOW do you get a larger fanbase bc of it. yes

angelic voice of a pregnant mother

it made tamaki horny, like how the fuck are are you so fucking great at fucking everything please let me fuck you god please

will whine, WILL CALL YOU MOMMY god yes

BABIES Male version.

Yall really wanted to adopt w one baby but the baby you liked had a twin so youre like HOW CAN U TAKE ONE AND NOT THE OTHER

they are twins but ones a boy and one is a girl

god you love them with all your heart

BABIES IN GENERAL (fem version yall have twins too, boy and girl)

they grow up to be band geeks, yall love it but your boy learns piano and the girl ends up playing the guitar (def not the outcome you guys thought it would be but you really dont care)

Let set names Mizuki for a girl, Haru for a boy. (legit beautiful moon and the sun)

Mizuki is very alternative meets fairy academia/ loves plants. probably a baby witch: has the same attitude as Tamaki

Haru is Dark Academia meets city pop / loves record, old gadgets and reading books: very much more like their other parent 

If y’all ever retire to just making music at home the kids are def. gonna take the band name and just put “The new gen” after it. You guys make fun of them for being unoriginal and they get pouty 

but they had you guys crying the first time they got a gig. they both sing, make music like billie and finneas and y’all just so proud. 

when you guys start getting older they will take you to award shows as their date to flex the fact that they are gen celebs who actually made something off of their parent success unlike some people

y’all just flex you’re kid bc they doing so well

just for shits and giggles (kids are like 22 at this point, you guys are like 46) :

Haru would probably get a girl pregnant during a one night stand and end up in a baby daddy situation

Mizuki probably steals Tamakis weeb and smokes it w lavander, you catch her and you’re like.... is it good? mother/father daughter smoke sesh

Haru is like “where’s mom, i need her to run by some notes- are you guys smoking? I’m telling dad.”

“It’s not like you’re dad doesn’t smoke either.” 

Haru and Mizuki are like “WHAT?! SINCE WHEN?!” 

“Since always... how’d you think he got over his stage fright? It’s not like i could go down on you’re dad every time before a concert to lift his nerves.”

Fake gagging from the two kids. 

You guys a def the parents who kinda don’t care about your image but you don’t let your kids go off easy

They are good kids who kept good grades and never got caught while doing trouble- so they are well respected and have liberty to do what they like.

There ends up being an article about your family and the cover is you guys- all of you with your nails painted and eyemakeup

very very controversial interview with strict and non liberals calling you guys bad parents and such

and you guys also talked about the topic about how you cared for your children. explaining that you guys stopped smoking, stopped drinking, kept a healty diet until they where 15. once they became 18 it was a very open enviroment, letting your kids grow the way they want and not suffocating them. not shoving down their beliefs and likes- they grew up the way they wanted to with the care of their parents.

parents kinda hate you ngl, yall too great sksksksk

yall also play the game where they ask you questions and if you don’t answer you have to take a shot

Mizuki: “Oh ew, please don’t answer this question... Have you ever had- *clears throat* have you guys ever had sex while we where in the house

Tamaki gets all red and shoves a shot down your throat and now you don’t get to answer “But I wanted to answer!” Haru is cringing hard and he takes a shot himself “You guys are gross”

Haru asks a question and just HATES IT “Oh god... Okay- Only because I wanna know I’m asking parent number 2 (you’re parent #2) Is the rumor of you guys doing the dirty with your band true. Did you guys have an orgy.”

You start to laugh your ass off but Mizuki and Tamaki are looking at eachother bc they cant believe they’ve done this Haru def is out of his shy bubble and now Mizuki has it

“You want a shot papa?” She asked tamaki, he just nodds and she fills it to the brim, “I think thats enough.” But before he’s able to reach for it, She shoots it down and put another one full for him

“Oh yeah, that’s true. Kinda i guess, it wasn’t really an orgy- It was more like two couples doing it in the same room while doing it but you’re uncle mirio did kiss me.”

Kids: Forever gagging

Tamaki: Forever blushing

You: Ah sweet memories :)

Request are open! You can request anyone from My Hero Academia (low key wont write for tsu or uraraka. Will not write for mineta), Haikyuu, Attack on Titan or Balance Unlimited!

[multific]

Soulmates

Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Soulmate AU!

Summary: Soulmates are real. But only men can feel them from the moment they see their partner. Women will only feel the connection when they get kissed by their soulmate.

 You envied men. It was so easy for them, they could just find their soulmate with one simple glance. Meanwhile, you, you had to wait.

It really sucked. And the fact that there were people who used this to get one night stands, disgusting.

You often wondered, why couldn’t both parties feel connection at the same time?

Why did women had to wait?

Gays were probably the luckiest.

Lesbians tried and many succeeded.

It felt like everyone was good at finding their partners, except you.

Every friend of yours found theirs already. Some even had children by now.

And there you were an office worker, alone in front of your desk. You wanted to find happiness, as did everyone else. But you weren’t desperate, there were times when you looked at other and envied them for their happiness, but it was only a natural reaction. You worked your way up in the company while others were having dates and weddings.

You felt like you achieved everything you could in regards to your career. You were one of the most important people in the building, you worked directly with the CEO who respected you in many ways.

Your income increased to the point where you got yourself a rather fine way of living. You bought everything you ever wanted. A house, a pet, designer clothes, after many years of using public transport, you finally had enough of the people and bought yourself a car and many more.

You lived the high life. But you worked for it.

You had a weekend off and decided to go to a nice spa hotel and relax, refresh and have a great time alone, away from work, family, friends and the amount of people that lived in the big city.

The hotel that you choose was in the mountains, had amazing view and the rooms were to die for, with a personal pool to every room, during the winter they had warm water in it, so the guests can use it.

Sounded like the perfect mini-vacation after working so hard.

The only problem was that you had to drive for four hours, up a mountain and the whole road was slippery due to the winter weather.

You drove always very cautiously.

It was your last ten minutes and you’d be finally at the hotel.

You were to cross a small village, turn left then a bit more forward and finally, you’d be there.

Unfortunately, when you stopped to let a pedestrian cross, the car behind you couldn’t stop in time and bumped into you. It was nothing serious since it wasn’t coming fast. Your car started to call the authorities, but you stopped it from doing so. You pulled the handbrake on and after you took a big breath, to calm yourself, you got out of the car.

The guy from the car behind you was already out and expecting the damage. When he noticed you, he stopped for a second then he immediately rushed to you.

“Are you hurt? I’m so sorry Miss, I saw you stop and the road is just bad and I couldn’t.”

“It’s all right. Things like this happen, the important thing is that no one is hurt.” you offered him a small smile.

Was he blushing?

“I’ll give you my insurance, one moment.” he got back to his car to get his details while you waited in the cold. Thank Gucci for those amazing fury warm coats. You got your phone to drive down his details before he came back.

Lucky for you the traffic in the village was very light, so you didn’t have to move the cars and you could speak there.

“Okay, my name is Harrison Osterfield, and my details are…”

“Got it. My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I’ll give you a call when I get an estimate and then we can figure things out.”

“S-sure. Thank you for not getting mad.”

“I kind of expected it. You know, slippery roads, new car, it was meant to happen. And I just knew that I wouldn’t be able to drive my new car without something happening to it.”

“I’m really really sorry.” he looked very apologetic and the fact that he was cute helped a lot with your calmness.

“I said its fine. We are not hurt, and that’s the most important a bumper can be replaced.”

After that, you took a few pictures and then both of you said your goodbyes.

Other than the minor incident, your weekend was perfect. The hotel was amazing. You had massages and even got yourself a nice manicure-pedicure treatment.

All in all, it was worth it.

But you couldn’t stop thinking about the guy. Harrison.

He had a nice accent as well. He was English and those eyes. But you couldn’t figure out why was he so shy at one moment than in the next so confident.

As you thought about it, he was only shy when he…

looked at you.

You sat up in bed.

“Don’t tell me. Is he my…. No.” You convinced yourself that you just imagined it.

He couldn’t be your soulmate, right?

***

Three days passed, and you finally had your estimate.

When you told about the incident to your boss, she laughed at the situation. But then she told you that she met her husband during a meeting. He accidentally spilled hot coffee on her and he apologized with a date. She got a kiss from him that night, a simple peck on the lips and it was enough. She felt the connection since then.

“Soulmates are interesting Y/N. Especially, how you meet them. Because even if your first impression of them is bad, they will steal your heart with a kiss.”

She also said that she hoped that it is him and you finally found him.

You texted Harrison during your lunch break.

Hey, it’s Y/N. I got the new bumper, I sent a picture of the bill, but you don’t have to worry about it. You seemed genuine and the accident wasn’t truly your fault. You don’t have to pay me back for it.

It only took him about five minutes to reply.

Hi! It’s Harrison, sorry, I’m at work right now. But I cannot leave you with that bill! I’ll pay for it, but I cannot give you it at once, can we make out a plan or something for weekly or monthly payments.

You thought about it for a second, you really didn’t want him to pay it, it’s not like you’d go bankrupt or anything. It just meant that you couldn’t buy the new fridge you wanted this month.

Can we meet somewhere? I’d rather speak in person. When do you finish work? I can get off early so I’ll be able to leave around four.

Maybe this way, you can find out if your assumption was right or not.

Sure! Meet me at…

***

He asked you to meet at a small café shop. It was a very cozy café with flowers and small decorations.

You sat down and soon a waiter came to pick up your order. You read his name tag.

Tom. And he had the same British accent as Harrison.

“Welcome to our shop, my name is Tom, what can I get you?”

“Do you have any specialties?”

“Yes, our cappuccino with vanilla or if you prefer tea, we have a new green tea from Singapore.”

“I’ll take the coffee please.”

“Sure, any dessert to go with it?”

“Yes, please, I’ll leave it up to you. Thank you.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back with your order.”

Tom arrived back with your coffee and a slice of cake in a few minutes.

Harrison said that he would get off of work at five. You checked the time, it was a quarter to five.

You looked around the small café one more time, you noted the counter and all the different cake, cupcakes, and cookies on display, they were all Christmas themed, since it was near. You wished you’d known about the café before, you’d have loved to see the Halloween decorated ones.

You happily ate the delicious cake, but you didn’t have to wait long, as you saw Harrison walk out of the kitchen wearing an apron.

He smiled at you.

“Hi”

“Hi, so you work here!”

“Yes, I’m one of the owners and the pastry chef.”

“Really? Then I must say that this cake is the best I have ever had.”

“Thank you.”

Then an awkward silence came between you two. You went back to drink your coffee.

“So, about your bumper, I have to take responsibility. It was my fault that I bumped into you, I knew the road was slippery and I didn’t keep my distance.”

You offered him a smile.

“It’s fine, really. It wasn’t that bad either, you don’t need to stress it.”

“Yes, I have to! It was my fault! And I saw the bill, don’t tell me it wasn’t bad.”

“You see, I earn enough to afford it, I wouldn’t have bought such a car otherwise…. You know what? How about you pay me back, but not with money!” his eyes suddenly widened and that’s when you realized how bad your words sounded.

“No! No! Don’t think about that. I meant like… Bake me a cake, please. For Christmas. You see, we will have a little party in the office, and I bring the cake every year. I used to make it, but since my promotion, I don’t have much time so I just ordered it from a place, but it wasn’t too good. So, how about you make me a Cake for ten people, some cupcakes and maybe if you have the time a few cookies?”

“That’s…That’s a great idea, but it isn’t the value of the damage I caused.”

“Stop worrying about that! So, give me the goodies, and we are even fine?” you held your pinkie out for him as a promise. He, a bit hesitantly, but agreed in the end.

***

On the day of the party, he said he would deliver the sweets himself, so now you were waiting for him to call so you can pick it up.

But of course, meanwhile, your lovely co-workers were teasing you up and down about him.

“Is he cute?” many asked, and the answer was always, very.

Then, you got his call. You took the elevator and surely enough, he was standing right in front of the building with boxes in his hands.

“Harrison! Hi.” you called when you noticed he was paying more attention to the height of the building then you approaching him.

“Wow, you work here?”

“Yes.” you thought that he just realized how different the two of you were. Him, owning a shot and you working for a huge business, literally.

“I brought you everything you asked for, I’ll help you bring them in.” he said after he was finished admiring the tower, but as he turned his head and looked at you, he noticed that you weren’t wearing your usual clothes. It was a more casual look on you, and he liked it. “You look beautiful,” he said before he can even think.

“Thank you!”

During the elevator ride, silence was between the two of you, with only him and you there, you wondered if it would be fine to ask.

“H-Harrison, can I ask you something?” he looked at you, facing him, you took in his gorgeous sea-blue eyes. You blushed a little.

“Sure.”

“Is-Am I… how should I ask this? Are we- what flavor is the cake?” you couldn’t do it.

“Oh… Chocolate and vanilla.” he looked, disappointed?

The elevator came to a stop.

“OH Y/N’s back! And look she brought someone!”

“Yes, this is Harrison, he made the sweets for us.”

“Good, good. Now, will you stay and celebrate with us, Harrison?”

“I don’t think he wants to, but if you do…it is fine…”

He ended up staying. Thankfully no one mentioned that they knew who he was. Harrison looked like he enjoyed himself.

You didn’t notice the time and when it was time to leave, you offered Harrison a ride, which he took.

So now, you were in the car with the man you thought might be your soulmate, other than that, you barely knew anything about him, but the way he looked at you, you wanted to find out the reason behind it.

“Turn left here. We are nearly there,” he instructed.

“Okay. Oh, you live close to the shop.”

“Yeah, it’s more convenient this way. That’s it with the blue fence. You can stop there.” he pointed at a parking space.”

After you stopped you thought he might get out fast and just forget you, but no, he just sat there, deep in thought. Finally, he decided to speak up.

“You know, I never found it to be fair. This whole soulmate-thing. I always wanted that both men and women would feel the start of the connection at the same. A-and that day, when I ran into you, I just wasn’t expecting it. For it to happen this way.” he let out a laugh, you decided to just stay silent and let him finish. “Leave it to me to find you like this. I was terrified, running into such a car, I thought I will pay with my life. But instead of a thug or some mobster, you got out and smiled. Now I know what that feeling is when others say ‘they just knew’ because I did too. When I saw you… I just knew. You think I’m weird right?” he laughed at himself. He didn’t expect an answer though.

“No. You are not weird. I somehow knew as well. Just the way you’d look at me, it was pretty obvious, but I didn’t want to let myself believe in dreams. But now, you confirmed them for me.” you smiled at him a genuine, sweet smile. He finally looked at you.

“What did you think of me when you first saw me?”

“Honestly?” he gave a nod, yes. “My exact thoughts were ‘Wow, it’s not fair for a man to have such beautiful eyes.’ and then I went to your shop. And I felt like it was just like you. With the flowers and plants. That baby blue wall. The pictures on the wall. Even the dark wood for the display. It was like a piece of you. But we can only be sure if you kiss me.”

He started to lean over and close his eyes. But you stopped him.

“Not here, mister. Maybe bring me on a date, Friday? Sound good? At eight? How about the park near here? They have a really good bar there, the wine and the cocktails just amazing.”

“Yeah, right sorry. I’m the man, I’m supposed to say these things.”

“Who says?”

“Um… masculinity?” you laughed at his answer.

“Right, so drinks there and maybe but only if I truly like you, you can kiss me in front of the pond.”

You looked into his eyes and they were full of determination. He wanted to prove a point and make you like him, even before the soulmate connection.

“Fine by me. Be prepared to be blown away. I’m quite the romantic type.”

“I’m more than ready. Text me.” you said as you kissed him on the cheek.

“I will.”

***

Friday evening came.

It was currently almost midnight and you may or may not be tipsy with Harrison helping you walk straight. The problem? You were a rather horny drunk.

“I told you the wine is gooood.”

“I was. But it was expensive as hell.”

“Yeah, my taste is rather… what’s the word?”

“Fancy?”

“YES! Fancy, like me.”

“Sure is, Love.”

“Oooooh, do that again!”

“Hm?”

“Call me Love again and I will lose my panties right here, right now. With that accent and lipppps and eyes. How can you be real? WAIT are you an alien? Did someone sent you for me?”

“No, Love.” he whispered the last word into your ear, making you shiver in the winter evening.

Suddenly you stopped, but Harrison didn’t notice for a minute. The next thing he knew your hand was inside his jacket’s pocket.

“Where to now?” you asked.

“To the pond. You said I can kiss you there.”

“I said maybe Mr. Gorgeous Eyes.”

“Is there anything else you like about me besides my eye colour?”

“Hmmm…. Lips, jawline. But you are funny, I nearly peed myself in there. I like how much patience and affection you have for others and me. And I also happen to like your butt. OH OH and those biceps….hmmm.” you let out a sigh. “HEY and what about you, what do you like about me? Since it seems like you are already connected to me.”

He started walking again before he answered.

“I love your laugh. Your smile is beautiful it brightens up the room. I love how smooth your hair looks even if I never touched it. And you know. You are so fucking sexy, it drives me wild.”

“Gooood. At least I know Chanel is worth its money.”

“Oh please, even with a paper bag on, you’d look like a Goddess.”

You didn’t even notice that when he stopped this time, it was right by the pond. You blushed a little.

No words were spoken after that. There was no need as he leaned down to your level and captured your lips with his.

It was a simple kiss. Like a looong peck.

And that’s when you felt it. As soon as his soft lips connected with yours, your heart also did with his.

The feelings confused you a little. It was love, passion, lust, affection, and longing at the same time.

When he pulled away all you could do was look into his eyes, the moon and the lights around the park reflected on the surface of the pond which gave his face light. Only a second passed before you pulled him in for more, but this one was different. This one was full of passion. This was a kiss between two souls who had finally became one.

When you ran out of breath you pulled away from him, he gave out a groan of dissatisfaction. You hugged him with your head on his chest.

“So this is how it feels like.”

“Pretty good right?”

“Amazing.”

A few minutes of hugging passed and you became tired.

“Can you take me home?” you asked him.

“Sure, where do you live?” you lifted your hand and pointed at a skyscraper.

“Up there.”

“Very funny, Y/N.”

“I’m not joking! I live THERE!”

“So, you are telling me that you drive an expensive car around, have designer clothes and you live in a penthouse up THERE?”

“Yessss, and I love you.” his heart skipped a beat.

“I love you too. Let me kiss you again.”

You didn’t need to be told twice.

And after another hot kiss, you pulled back and started to walk away from him.

“It’s cold, let go home.” you said as you stopped and turned back for him. You put your hands into your pockets and waited for him. When he mimicked your movement and placed his hand into his pockets, you smirked and started to walk.

Harrison became confused, something was in his pocket. He couldn’t help but look at the thing with opened mouth and round eyes.

A thong.

“I told you. Calling me Love without any consequence? I think not.”

He placed the clothing back to his pocket and jogged to catch up to you.

“Love” he whispered into your ear, as you turned your head, he gave you a final kiss.

Soulmates or not, you definitely loved this guy.

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[imaginesmai]

Your daughter’s first boyfriend

Bjorn

-          Understanding dad.

-          Actually, his daughter’s boyfriend is a her. Her girlfriend.

-          For Bjorn, sex is something normal, and a lot of times he has talked with his daughter about past experiences.

-          More. Asks her at least twice a week if she’s still a virgin.

-          Your daughter tells you before him, because she’s afraid of what he might think about it. In your time, it’s something taboo and forbidden. Even if her grandmother has a girlfriend, she’s still shy.

-          Kind of afraid of disappointing her forever cool dad. For her, Bjorn’s her hero. Her role model. Someone who she can talk about anything. And she doesn’t want to disappoint him.

-          His reaction is…weird. Or good. You can’t tell. You’re eating in the great hall, just the three of you, when she tells him.

-          “So, princess, any boy there I should know about? Someone’s been in your bed already?” “Dad…I don’t like boys. I’m lesbian” After a silence of staring at her, he says “So, do you have sex or not?”

-          When your daughter starts crying out of happiness, he looks at you for help; but you get up and leave.

-          Daddy-baby girl moment.

-          He can’t understand why she thought he wouldn’t accept her. As long as she’s his daughter, he will always be proud of her.

-          Bear hug and Bjorn shares a few hidden tears when your daughter tells him how much she loves him.

-          Meeting the girlfriend is cool, and your daughter has to literally drag her away from her father as they get along pretty well.

-          Your daughter has a body guard now when it comes to her relationship and sexuality.

-          Bjorn’s brothers better accepts her if they want to keep their balls.

-          “A woman said our relationship is unnatural” “Well, now her guts are hanging from her stomach; that’s unnatural, isn’t it”; “That boy told me that I’ve yet to taste a good dick to know it’s better” “Give me two days and he will be the one tasting his own dick”

-          King of aggressive but just protective. 

-          We all know Bjorn, he’s a little gore.

Ubbe

-          Old-lady dad

-          Since he met the boy, there’s this little shake in his eyes every once in a while.

-          Your daughter appeared with him in the monthly sacrifice to the Gods, and Ubbe kept asking too personal questions.

-          “Where do you live?” “Who are your parents?” “Do you always wear underwear?”

-          He keeps going until you have enough when he asks about his preferences in bed. You have to drag your prince away as he, too enthusiastically, says goodbye to the boy.

-          At night, he keeps pacing up and down your room, talking about all the things that could go wrong in your daughter’s date. You have to remind him that you both used to go together to sacrifices too, and you survived.

-          “But she’s too young, Y/N!” She could be forty, he would worry anyway.

-          Eventually, you fall asleep while he keeps walking through the house too fast. Until there is a noise; and he becomes an old and nosy mother who spies his daughter behind the window.

-          Ubbe crouches down, and it’s kind of absurd. Big, dangerous, powerful prince of Kattegat trying to fit his wide body under the window so he can spy on his daughter.

-          Boy has manners; he has to give him that. Kiss your daughter’s cheek, walks her to the door and smiles shyly before going away.

-          Can’t help the little giggle leaving his mouth, but quickly covers it before he gets caught.

-          “Dad, I know you were watching us” “I was not” “You’re like a bear behind a small rock, dad”

-          You smile when you wake up in the middle of the night, finding your husband with your not so little girl tucked under his big arms. She’s sleeping and he’s smiling like the first time he held her as a baby.

-          With care and after bumping her head with a wall, he takes her to bed and goes to sleep with you.

-          Ubbe tells you how your daughter has told him everything about her date, and wonders when he can meet the boy who makes his girl so happy.

-          Don’t get him wrong; he keeps asking about weird things when he’s around. But that’s good for his daughter when she wants to make him some present.

-          Probably once the relationship is official will steal her boyfriend to spend time with him

-          “Your dad’s so cool” “I want my boyfriend back”

Hvitserk

-          Cool dad/Makes-him-feel-old dad

-          His daughter boyfriend came up to his house with a bouquet of flowers; and Hvitserk was the one who opened the door.

-          At first, thinking they were for him even if it was a little strange. She appeared behind him and took the bouquet.

-          “Daddy, this is my boyfriend”

-          He was okay with it. Really. Talked to you about the relationship, advised her daughter into taking precautions. Watched with a smile their love interactions. It was cute.

-          Until one night when he’s drinking with his brothers.

-          “Is your daughter still dating that boy” “They’re good. Young love, and the boy is respectful and kind. Also, they remind me to Y/N and me.” “In no time you’ll be a grandad, I see”

-          Not ready for that, he’s too young. Besides, his daughter isn’t like this. Most likely isn’t like this. Or is she?

-          For the next days, he keeps interrupting them when they’re on it.

-          If you’re downstairs cooking together and he hears the door closing, he rushes up the stairs and opens it with a loud thud; suddenly, he’s kind of afraid of closed doors.

-          If your daughter is staying the night in her boyfriend’s house, he uses his best puppy eyes and asks her for a daddy-baby girl night.

-          You suffer the consequences of him feeling old too; Hvitserk wants to go running through the woods, go have a bath in the middle of night, and he even wants a new baby.

-          One day, you talk to your daughter and decide to prank him a little. With the help of his brothers, she puts a fake stomach (a little one) and arrives home.

-          It was supposed to be something funny, but as soon as you saw Hvitserk’s face you knew you took it too far. 

-          You talk with him and he tells you that he doesn’t want her to be pregnant so soon, and that he feels old.

-          Two things happen.

-          Hvitserk and you break the bed that night while you show him that he’s not old.

-          Ivar, who was the one telling him that, apologise to him after getting a beating (verbal and physical) from you and your daughter.

-          She takes his father to the woods for two days, and when he’s back he’s as jovial as ever.

-          Still, checks every once in a while, her stomach and monthly bleeding. Just in case.

-          And you do in fact have another child. 

Sigurd

-          Try-to-be-cool-but-its-embarrassing dad.

-          Sigurd has known your daughter’s boyfriend forever. And he’s a little surprised when he sees them kissing on the barn.

-          Panicking because he thought one of them is unconscious and the other is making the mouth-to-mouth breathing.

-          After he calms down, they explain it to him.

-          “Dad, we were kissing” “You wanted to practice for your first kiss? That’s cute sweetie!” “Wh-no! Dad, this is my boyfriend of two months.”

-          That’s cool. Yeah, he’s a cool dad, he can do that.

-          He invites his family over to meet each other properly. Although you literally have a key to their house.

-          Makes everything perfect. Gets the best food. The best wine. Pays the best musicians. Has someone to make some magic.

-          Too perfect maybe. Sigurd makes all of his brothers to dress up decently, and physically fights with Ivar when he doesn’t want to wear the blue and orange cape he made him.

-          During the night, he makes a fool of himself a few times. He gets a whole deer for you and doesn’t remember that the boy’s mother doesn’t eat meat. Also, expect bad dad-jokes.

-          “Hey, tie your shoes sweetie! We don’t want you falling for anyone else” “Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels overhead.”

-          When I was your age dad.

-          Asking about anything, much like Ubbe. About their first date, their first kiss. Their first time.

-          You have to stick the fork in his mouth because he can’t shut up.

-          When you’re finished, you apologise to the boy’s parents for his behaviour as the brother’s laugh at Sigurd.

-          Him shaking the boy’s hand and hugging him, and then trying to seem cool by talking to his daughter about how to take precautions.

-          In bed, you hug him tightly when he asks you how has he done it; Sigurd just wants the best for his daughter, and to be as close as he can with her.

-          A little too close definitely.

Ivar

-          Angry dad.

-          When he finds out, he’s silent. Your daughter is like him; so, she doesn’t back down from his stare. Anyone would, as his eyes are screaming what his mouth is failing to say.

-          This goes for a few minutes, a stare competition between father and daughter, until you get tired and ask her about him.

-          As she talks, you swear Ivar’s head keeps getting redder.

-          He gets up suddenly and leaves your house to go to one of his brother’s, probably Ubbe’s one. Ivar knows that you take no shit from him, so he prefers to throw his tantrum anywhere apart from your home.

-          Then. Screams.-

          Ivar keeps shouting threats for a good hour before Ubbe can really understand what’s going on. 

-          “I’m going to kick his teeth so far down his throat he’s going to have to brush them in his ass”

-          “I’m going to strike him with my crutch so hard that it’s going to be his third leg”

-          “Let me just get him; I’m going to piss on his ashes”

-          Ubbe has to hold him down so he stops breaking things at his house, and gets a black eye when he suggests Ivar should let it go.

-          After a while, he comes back home to find his daughter’s boyfriend sitting at HIS chair eating HIS food with HIS family. Boy tries to be funny and friendly with him; you have to stop your husband from stabbing him with a fork.

-          Dinner is awkward, and when the boy leaves, Ivar wants to follow him and bury him somewhere. 

-          He calms down after you two have rough sex and you make him see it’s normal and that the guy is a good kid. 

-          But the boy finds next morning a beheaded animal on his door. With his initials grabbed on it.

-          Just to make sure he gets the message. 

[finnickodaiir]

Is there any popular TV show, movie or book that everyone you know loves, but you hate? - I’m so curious to see what your take is on this!

Thanks for the ask, @lots-to-love !

Disclaimer: I'm not saying that any of these pieces of media are bad, I'm just saying that they're not my cup of tea. I'm not gonna judge or think less of anyone who likes the stuff I mention here.

Books:

1) Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) by George Orwell: I'm sure this is a great book, it's a classic after all, but it wasn't for me. I read it two years ago and every moment of it felt like torture. Probably because I'm not a fan of dystopian fiction and because I didn't like any of the characters.

2) The Goldfinch (2013) by Donna Tartt: It's a good book, it won the Pulitzer Prize, after all. It just wasn't for me, I gave up after 3 chapters.

3) Any Philippa Gregory novel (except“The Lady of the Rivers”): I have a problem with Philippa Gregory's writing and it's the fact that she takes rumors, created to vilify female historical figures during their own lifetimes, and makes them true in her novels, while claiming to take them with a pinch of salt, when in reality she isn't. Examples are Jacquetta and Elizabeth Woodville being witches, Margaret Beaufort being a child murderess, Elizabeth of York having an affair with her uncle, Katherine of Aragon lying about her virginity, Mary Boleyn having illegitimate children with Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn being guilty of adultery and incest and I'm sure there are more examples. This would have been fine if Gregory didn't claim to be historian, when she is actually a novelist and her degree is on 18th century literature, and if she stopped taking her own fictional account as facts.

4) Any Alison Weir book: I don't like most of her books (except her biography of Elizabeth I and her novel on Katherine of Aragon), because she doesn't cite her sources, she is quite biased and makes it quite clear when she dislikes a historical figure and usually relies on sources most historians have discredited. And she is pretty judgy and sexist, she vilifies Anne Boleyn, claims she was “an ambitious adventuress with a penchant for vengeance”, slut-shames Katherine Howard, while glorifying Katherine of Aragon.

TV shows:

1) OUAT: I used to love this show, but after the first half of S3, I started to dislike it and my dislike turned to hatred. My problems are the lazy writing, the retconning, the fact they had to adapt every fairy tale to the point it didn't fit organically with the overall plot. The poorly-written redemption arcs, the fact that almost every ship was toxic, and the lack of originality.

2) Riverdale: Do why I really need to go into why I dislike this show? Okay, my problems are the fact that Jughead's asexuality was erased and he was turned into Betty's edgy boyfriend, the fact that the show doesn't acknowledge that Betty is a terrible person, the sexualization of teens, the fact that Kevin and Chuck were reduced to homophobic and racist stereotypes, respectively. And the nonsensical plot.

3) Sherlock: The episodes don't hold up after watching it again, Sherlock is turned into an arrogant asshole and a high functioning sociopath, when his literary counterpart cared about his clients and wanted to do the right thing, Watson gets turned into a puppy who blindly follows Sherlock, Irene Adler goes from being the woman who outsmarted him to being a dominatrix, who gets outsmarted by him and falls in love with him, even though she is a lesbian on the show.

4) The Big Bang Theory: I don't like the show because of its misogynistic tone and I can't bring myself to like any of the characters.

5) Wolf Hall: All of my problems with Gregory's writing, but worse. All of the characters are one-dimensional caricatures of themselves, none of the characters are likable, the show is boring, all of the historical figures in this godforsaken show are done dirty.

Movies:

It Chapter Two: I think we all saw this coming. Okay, I liked Adult Bill much more than I did in the novel, I think they did a good job with Ben and Beverly as individuals and as a couple. But other than that, I hated the fact that Muschietti had Mike steal stuff from Native Americans, lie about the Ritual of Chüd being effective, I hated the “Mike's parents were rumored to be drug addicts” subplot, as one article states “Mike Hanlon has arguably gone from a victim of racism at the hands of Henry Bowers to a victim of racism at the hands of the filmmakers” and I also hated that Muschietti cut out his scenes. I hated that Eddie went from being a brave, empathetic, sensitive, kind kid to a cowardly asshole in the second film, who got most of his gay-coding given to Richie, who had his own arc and bi-coding ignored by Muschietti and I hated that Eddie's death was made all about Richie and not about Eddie himself, who chose to sacrifice himself to save friends in the novel, while in the second film, he recklessly turns his back against IT, giving Pennywise the opportunity to stab him. And I hated that they had Richie trying to abandon his friends every 5 seconds. And I hated that Richie got to kill Bowers, instead of Eddie. I hated the way that Richie and Eddie's dynamics was portrayed, they had no soft moments apart from the “you're braver than you think” which was at the cost of Eddie's bravery and it was 5 seconds after Richie made a fatphobic comment. I hated that Stan's suicide was framed as an act of heroism, because it sends the wrong message and because in the novel and miniseries, Stan's death weakened the Losers' power against IT. That was the whole point of the Lucky 7, It was actually afraid of them. I hated the “if we don't kill It now, we will die” subplot, it misses the point of the Losers coming back to Derry, the point was to honor their promise and make sure that the next generation of children living in Derry don't become future victims of IT. I hated the way the Ritual of Chüd was handled, because it portrays Native Americans in a stereotypical way and uses them as a plot device and it doesn't go anywhere, because the Ritual doesn't work, meaning we wasted an hour watching the Losers looking for tokens to use in an ineffective ritual. And the way the kill Pennywise is so stupid, the horror elements are weak and the plot is messy.

Basically It Chapter Two fails as a sequel, as a character-driven film and a horror one.

In conclusion, please don't kill me if you like any of the stuff I mentioned, it's just my opinion.

[low-budget-korra]

The legend Of Korra : Book 02-Philosophy Everywhere

I'm going to divide this one into two parts, talking about the episodes before the episodes 07 and 08 and after them. Due to this first half, I consider the 02 book the weakest of all and here are some of the why.

Beginning 6 months after the events of Book 01, after all that dark shit that happened, everything is great. Right away we had a significant change that was the change with respect to animation, previously made by Studio Mir and that in book 2 began to be made by the studios Pierrot. Nothing against the work of the studios Pierrot , after I started studying digital art I saw that it is something way more laborious than I already thought it would be, but Studio Mir's work was so good in Book 1 that this change is a "down" for the season.

We are presented with the danger of this season, evil spirits and the reality of our dear Fire Ferrets. Bolin is the only one who continues in Pro's Bending while Mako became a cop and Korra is just being the Avatar, and Asami is trying to deal with the CEO’s stuff of the Future Industries.

Now something that bothered me a lot in the first half of season. I felt that everything that Korra went through in Book 01 was for nothing, as there is no development in the character. She remains the same spoiled, arrogant from Book 1

The relationship between Mako and Korra is appalling, especially because of Korra's unbearable and inexplicable behavior earlier this season.

We are also introduced to Unalaq, uncle of Korra and soon we see that his relation with Tonraq is, at least ,troubled. Also we met Tony Stark .... cof sorry, Varrick and what a good surprise this character was.

Returning to Korra, this second season she is even more childish than the first. It's inexplicable, I dont know what happened. Like, I can understand her sense of frustration of still being treated as someone who is incapable of making choices, but what does she do? She goes there and shows that she is incapable of making choices.

Like all the building of partnership and trust that was made in book 01 between Tenzin and Korra, something that I unfortunately forgot to mention in my review of book 01, was thrown in the trash because in the first "fight" she exchanged the Tenzin that literally hugged her in the worst moments of her life until then, by an uncle she barely know

I think that when, soon in the first episode Korra dispenses the Tenzin, Unalaq must have thought : "Man, that was easy"

Then we have Korra with unnecessary anger for her father for him not  told he was banished from the Northern WaterTribe and why. Like, girl, this is certainly something your father is not proud of, maybe even blaming himself for the inexperience and arrogance in which he acted when, after chasing the barbarians who attack the city ,  ended up destroying a sacred place. I'm sure you did not tell him about how "cool" the first conversation you had with Amon was.

Okay, I'll take it easy with Korra, maybe this "Stop Protecting Me"  it is her trying to reaffirm herself as Avatar after all she suffered in Book 01. Then this almost desperation for not wanting to be seen as a child and wanting to be considered a capable person, made her, ironically, act like a child and show herself unable , after make some wrong choices.

You guys remember that when the NorthTribe invaded the SouthTribe, she chose to stay with her uncle and not her father. Even Tonraq being an incredible father.

 (Look at this? This  person is trustworthy right. The guy is sitting in a dark room, alone doing a bunch of nothing. IN THE DARK!)

Unalaq was another one that I did not like since the moment I saw it. He is by far the worst villain even more that Ozai's greatest megalomaniac style, worse yet, Ozai wanted his Nation to rule the world while Unalaq wants evil to dominate simply because he wants to. But I give him something, he was good to see that moment of “wanting approval” that Korra and exploits it in his favor.

**

When Korra discovers that his uncle was responsible for the unjust sentence of his father when Unalaq underwent an attempt of kidnapping and that he also was responsible for the banishment his father years ago. First of all I can not blame her for the violent way she approached the judge for the conversation because I think it would do the same. (Dont mess with the people i love)

**

Something very interesting to note was that this season was where everyone was further away from each other. And the frozen scenery of the northern watertribe helped amplify this feeling. The soundtrack of this season is also incredible,  all of the seasons are actually.

**

Another thing I liked was the interaction between the sons of Aang. It was a bit sad to know that despite being a great Avatar, Aang was a bit flawed as a parent. Paying more attention to his duty to the world than with his family. And clearly having a favorite son, Tenzin. I can understand why, but is sucks anyway

But I also think the character who was best explored this season was Tenzin. We can connect with his concerns. The burden of being responsible for the survival of the airbender culture, the fear of failure, and the quest to be a reflection of his father.

We know more about Bumi, and dude, the scene in ep.04 where he talks to his father's statue, apologizing for not being an airbender, and besides that , he did what he can to keep the world . And Kya is kind of a more lesbian cooler version of Katara in terms of personality.

**

One more “down” to this Book in the beginning was to make fun with the Bolin being clearly in an abusive relationship with Eska. This is not fun people, people die because of it.

Poor Mako in the first half,  his only getting slapped by Korra . Later on  I understand, but I dont agree with his position of delivering Korra's plans to get help for the southern tribe to Raiko. Episode 06 was focused on Mako, Bolin and Asami. We can see Asami, in a moment of weakness that I dont understand until today, kissing Mako. Bolin pursuing film career and Mako showing a certain ability as a detective. This I found cool because it gains another layer to the character , it is no longer just the romantic interest of Korra. It also had virtually the revelation of Varrick as a secondary villain for this arc of them

Bolin also has something nice, If in the first episode, he was shown was someone who only can fight with The Krew, later in book 2 he and we see that he is capable to fight alone for himself.

And Asami, this babe was her own “up and fall and up again” arc as CEO of her dad company. And she shows that she has what its need to take control of the business.

**

I really dont know what happened to the writers in this first half of book 02, way below the expected But Raava inspired them to make the wonder that is the second half of the season. And so I finish my analysis of the first half of book 02

**

Beginnings part 1 and 2 are my favorite episodes of the entire AVATAR series. Seriously, everything in these episodes is incredible, from the differentiated animation (Studio Mir is back baby!!!)to the soundtrack, and of course, the script.

In Beginnings we are introduced to the first avatar, Avatar Wan. And so, we are presented as the cycle began. From real, every time I see these two episodes I cry like a baby.

"Return to the beginning. Find Raava "

Lets talk about  Wan, he was a young thief trying to survive, in a  dangerous and authoritarian era of what might be considered the beginnings of the Fire Nation, a city that lay on the back of a Giant Turtle, protected them from the spirits -dominated forests.

I will not say much about these two episodes because even if you dont remember , go watch, seriously, it's incredible. And because if I start talking about them I will not finish.

In short. Wan receives the power of fire from the Giant Lion Turtle and  go into the forest. Then he  return home before entering the forest, and thus steals the fire power ,which was forbidden to use in the city.What is worth mentioning is that the bendinds there were not developed , dont expect  martial arts movements. 

 Here ,even with power, Wan is merciful and selfless. He did not think only of himself, he did not exposed who participated in the rebellion with him and still spared the life of a guard. He is then banished to the forest and .... aaa did not say, I cant not speak of these episodes man

Anyway, after going through "trouble" on his first night out in the woods. He seeks the help of a spirit who simply says "it's not my problem", so Wan tries to fantasize as spirit to be able to enter the oasis of the same spirit that denied him help. Then he discovers that there are other LionTurtles, and consequently, other cities.

And in his journey, even with hunger he decides to release an animal, which turns his animal partner. And so, seeing the altruistic action of Wan, the same spirit that denied him help, helps him to escape the hunters. And so he decides to stay and learn from the spirits.

And so, Wan learns the dragon dance, protecting the oasis and his friends spirits. My baby Wan <3

Back in town, Wan's old friend decides to lead a group of people who believe that only with the power of fire, it is possible to live in the forests. Needless to say that shit happens right ?!

Then Wan decides to travel the world with his pet, Mula. The music in these parts is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, really.

Then Wan discovers Raava and Vaatu fighting and, unknowingly, helps Vaatu to escape. With the help of Raava ,who at first dont like the ideat of joining with Wan to fight Vaatu), Wan finds the other lions turtles and is given the other bendings.

Raava is light and peace. Literally, the good. Vaatu is evil.

However, Wan can only change elements, when the spirit of Raava passes through his body. Wan is an example of a good person, he literally made the biggest shit in the world but instead of running away, as many would do, he took responsibility and face it.

And it is on this journey that he begins to train heavy, the elements, and learn about the balance of the world.

"He can not destroy light any more than i cant destroy darkess. One can not exist without the other "_Raava

"Most humans think only about themselves" _Raava

Man, this is so true, worse, it's a direct truth. There is no metaphor here.

There we see humans using the power of fire to clear the forest, nothing new  really. The same group as that friend of Wan. And so, these people attack anything (spirits) they see, not knowing whether it is good or bad, just by their own ignorance. What unfortunately happens in various parts of the world with minority groups that are attacked only by the ignorance of the aggressors.

In this 5-minute scene, we see all the power of ignorance and violence. Humans have invaded and destroyed the forest, and still set fire to any spirit that appears. In Brazil we have farmers doing exactly the same thing with the natives, with the moral help of the president. But we are not here to talk about the shit hole that is Brazil right now....

The stronger Vaatu gets, the smaller and weaker Raava gets.

(I'm almost crying because I'm writing while I'm watching this wonderful episode.)

It is then that Wan touch’s on the energy that comes out of one of the portals and this scene happens

(This scene gives me so many chills. Its simple epic)

Now officially as Avatar, Wan and Raava succeed together defeating Vaatu, imprisoning for the next 10 thousand years. It is also Wan who makes the decision to close the portal, separating spirits and humans.

We then see the Lion Turtles talking that a new era has begun, and we will no longer be given the power of the elements to the people. Then shows Wan's narration as he separates two armies, because it seems that war is what a human being does best.

Then we think the episode ends there. With the message of the duty of the avatar and all but ...oh boy we are wrong . We see a much older Wan, mortally wounded in battle. Regretting that he had not fulfilled his duty to bring peace, that darkness still surrounds humanity, he did not have enough time.

"Do not worry, we will be together for all your lifetimes and we will never give up" _Raava

Soon after this talk of Raava, Wan dies and the cycle of avatars begins.

(im not crying... you are)

Something I think is very important to mention is that these two episodes, as well as this season of The Legend Of Korra, use something that I hate, that is the megalomaniac villain and the megalomaniac consequences. Only, especially in these two episodes of the Wan, we are not focused on this  but on the learning of the character and all the wisdom of Raava(the hero).

Vaatu can be evil, he has to be evil because he is evil. Now, Unalaq? "Urrr I will release the spirit of darkness to become an evil avatar because I want, even if it destroys the world."

If Vaatu was the villain alone, trying to lead Korra to the dark side, I think it would have been better, or if Unalaq had been better worked for us to believe in his ambitions ... All the Korra villains have a very cool ideology be it equality, freedom or prosperity. Unalaq is only a classic religious fanatic, and a forgettable villain.

**

Moreover, the rest is just Korra and his friends preparing for Harmonic Convergence to beat Vaatu. And the end of the arc’s of Asami, Bolin and Mako.

Now, on this journey of Korra in the spirit world, when she misses Jinora and meets Iroh. Their interaction is wonderful.

I'll separate some quotes from Iroh to Korra, who at the moment is in the shape of a child.

Iroh says: "Even in material world you will find it, if you look for the light you can often find it. But if you look at the dark, heres what you will see "

Several things can be compared to this speech, but the first thing that came to mind was depression and its power to catastrophize everything. As depressive girl, I think I have the property to speak at least of my experience with it.

As depressive, I often see things on the more negative side and thus, "I search for darkness" and so, it is only her that I see. And as much as the search for light is arduous and tiresome, it compensates. It's a daily struggle. Even in the worst of times, look for the light in the dark and you'll be fine. Even if the path is dark and scary, we all have light and we can all walk that path, whether alone or with help.

And Iroh was also right in another speech, helping others is one of the best things you can do. I can not describe the good feeling that takes care of you when you help someone. I think if we all did that, the world would not be in such a mess.

**

Now let's talk about the shocking and sad scene of the loss of connections. 

Honestly I think it's something that can be reversed, and if I did it in a fanfic the creators can do in HQ u.u

About the fanfic, ~propaganda moment here~, I swear that I will continue translate it a and post at least once a month on Wattpad with the link here on Tumblr.Who was interested, here is the link of the chapters already translated. I still do not consider myself fluent in English, so I accept any corrections.

Link for the chapters in English: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/117030440-the-legend-of-korra-book-5-legacy

(This is just to say how much i love Korra with loose and messy hair, my god how I find it sexy. And for you guys to see this gorgeus image and forgive me for the “propaganda time”)

Returning...

Anyway, at first, I found it very heavy and unnecessary but after analyzing the series as a whole and not just Book 2, I think I understood.

Korra is the avatar in a world practically totally different from the world of Aang and the previous avatars. A world where technology grows every day, a world each more similar to ours. That is, a new era. And this new age, perhaps it did not need other avatars. 

Dont slap me please. But like, for example, what am I going to ask a 19th-century person how she communicated, if we have the cell phone today? Things have changed, the experiences and how to deal with the things too. Perhaps Avatar Kyoshi does not have adequate advice for the Avatar in an increasingly political and complicated world.

The breaking of the cycle was literally the end of an era of Avatars, the avatars that will come after  Korra, in theory, will be more apt to deal with these problems so similar to what we experience.

But yes, I wanted her to somehow reconnect.

As you can see, although I love reading philosophical, political, social, historical, and psychological things, I do not quote any specific author in my interpretations, but I certainly use the knowledge I learned in what I write. "Lara, why dont you quote this guys here?" Cause my memory is terrible in memorising words, which means that I would have to reread, to know who exactly said what, and my college dont let me have this much time

Another thing I forgot to mention, the Gifs are not mine, more talented people than I've done them, and I just picked it up from the internet. Ican tag you in the comments if you are the author of those

Although it is not the book that most focuses on psychological issues, it does so through philosophical questions of "Who I am" and "What is my duty in the world"

Overall, book 2 of The Legend Of Korra is the most nostalgic of all, in my opinion. And in my view, the theme that stands out is that of "Search for own identity". 

We see this in Wan,Bolin, Korra, Tenzin, and Jinora in  a more prominent way.

Wan on his quest for Avatar's identity, even if it is unconscious. Korra for the exact opposite, her quest is for herself. Who is Korra? And would Korra be limited to just been The Avatar?

Who is Tenzin? He finally detaches himself from his father's image. As he says in the fog of the lost souls: "Im not a refletion of my father. Im Tenzin " Bolin who discovers his is not just a sidekick to his brother, he is more than that

And Jinora discovering and embracing without question her full potential with the spiritual side.

And besides, i hate it the all giant final fight. I simple dont like it. 

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

It's us: Halt and Catch Fire 4x09 and 4x10.

So, it took a few days but I think it's finally sunk in for me that Halt and Catch Fire actually ended the way it did? I truly was not prepared, I'd braced myself for a very specific, very heterosexual and annoying ending, and was ready to resent it forever.

But in the end, Halt finally quit playing and quit punishing its characters. So naturally, I'm instead prepared to talk about it forever! So, pause your Peter Gabriel cd that you've been crying to all week, grab your hackeysack and your bagel bites, sit down a safe distance from the pool, and lets process this finale even MORE! Literally nothing but spoilers for Halt and Catch Fire 4x09 and 4x10 below.

So, let's talk about how and when the show tied up each of our character's stories:

Bos and Diane: While I stand by all of my previous critiques of what the show put both of them through this season, and how mean it was to Diane, how can you not be happy for them?! I'm happy that Bos is in good health, and that Diane seems more than ready to retire from being a miserable business woman and shift to enjoying her life and her family.

Haley and Vanessa: Okay, so, this was a bummer, right? I love how they did it though. I love that they showed us Haley striding into that mildly ridiculous hot dog place of dreams and asking Vanessa out -- I haven't seen a lot of queer teenage girls asking their crushes out in mainstream media and also I myself haven't ever been brave enough to do that IRL so that was kind of awesome of her?! -- and I love that they didn't tell us what exactly happened. The focus stays on Haley's sadness, disappointment, and embarrassment, and the show avoids making wlw crushes look like they're all doomed to misery. (Which, they're not, ICYMI.)

Comet. I was surprised by how hard this hit me. This is a key theme of the show: projects end, sometimes amicably, and sometimes disastrously, partnerships dissolve, it's part of life, and yes, it's especially difficult to accept for traumatized abuse survivor over-achievers. But you have to learn to move on to the next thing, or you're in for a long life, and not in a good way. A competitor, Yahoo, the jokes about which I remember, beats Comet to the punch. It happens! But, just like it happens IRL, this is also the death of Gordon's last venture, and of J*e's last connection to him, and….jesus fvck, it hurts.

Cameron & J*e: The end of Comet ends up meaning the end of Jameron, though not for a lack of trying on both sides. This ship has a huge following despite never having worked or been healthy, and despite Lee Pace's fantastic work this season, the show never sold me on his redemption -- and yes, it was an issue of his redemption, as a former abuser, do not start with or @ me about this. Even if we accept that J*e has changed, he and Cameron want different things. She shouldn't be forced to have a family she doesn't want, and it is not in any way healthy for him to sacrifice something that huge to be with her? (That doesn't even get into how grief and loss alters relationships, sometimes in terrible and painful ways, and J*e's loss is real.) Their break up scene was sad and tough to watch, but, they're both free to find better partners, who actually meet their needs. Can't help but see that as a win.

Joanie: I could say something snarky about the writers sending her off to eat, pray, and love or whatever, but I love Joanie, and while it's a little sad, I'm glad that she got to leave home and start to get some perspective on her family and also her grief. Sometimes, we don't quite fit in at home, and we need to go elsewhere -- isn't that kind of true of our entire main cast? Also, her very last scene, when she's on the phone, is such full of such great, teenage-y, youthful energy and emotion. Ugh, I'll always be a little annoyed that we didn't spend more time with her, but thank you for stealing every scene you were in, gurl!

Donna Emerson, Senior Managing Partner at Symphonic Ventures! Um. This is literally everything Donna deserves, finally? I'm bummed that we had to wait until the last episode for it, and I don't dig how it feels like Gordon had to die for her to really come into her own, but my g-d: seeing Donna's years of hard work pay off feels good! That she pushes her firm in a new direction, literally renames it, and makes it a place that looks like a perfect balance between the AGGEK offices and the Mutiny house (<3!) is just…I can't, let me stop before I weep with joy…Donna finally has the kind of security she always wanted, now she can do whatever she likes! Including founding Lesbians Who Tech! More to the point: she doesn't seem to want a partner. She's finally comfortable standing on her own, even though it can be lonely.

….whatever was going on with Alexa and Cameron? We never got a name for their venture, right? Anyways. I'm sorry that the show didn't do more with Alexa, but I appreciated the reminder that Cameron isn't suited to the business and networking part of working in tech, and that people easily misinterpret that as brattiness (or worse). It was also a nice reminder of how Donna was a good match for Cameron.

Cameron: I guess it's understandable that after Gordon's death, the end of Comet, the end of a major relationship, and two months in Europe, Cameron would feel like she has no real reason to stay in California, or no real place in even Bos, Donna, and Haley's lives. I can't help but feel slightly disappointed by her wanting to run away -- to Florida, of all places -- but I also really empathize with her struggle to see her own patterns clearly enough to do something about them. In the end, it seems like she's not sure what she wants to do, but like she's sure she wants to do better, and like she wants to see if fixing things with her mom will help her. Despite a lot of loss, Cameron hasn't given up yet. She's still lonely and uncertain but she's strong, and getting better at making and owning her decisions, so, that's actually kind of amazing. Well done, my anxious genius bby!

Haley. While it would've been cool to see Haley start dating Vanessa, in the end, we got to see Haley affirm herself, with the help of her dad's tapes (which, brb crying slightly) and her gay moms (let's just be real?), oh and also her bi uncle(!), and that's even better. Haley might have, like many young women before her, experimented with dating boys despite her limited interest in them, but in the end? She dumps her boyfriend. Haley is getting hit with a lot of change, but she knows who she is (and so does her mom, apparently?!): she's Haley Clark, and she likes computers, comedy, and girls. And she's gonna be okay!

Cameron and Donna. Where do I even start? Finally, after approximately a decade, Cam and Donna have come to fully see and appreciate each other. They've put Mutiny behind them, and they've come to respect each other's space, even -- Donna doesn't try to stop Cameron from leaving town, and Cameron doesn't press Donna about working together. They know where they went wrong in the past and now they're friends. ('Friends'. Right!) Cameron is about to leave when Donna gets an idea, and we don't hear what it is, but from the beginning of Cameron's smile and all the hints dropped through out both final episodes, it seems like Cameron is going to stay and work on this idea with Donna, this time as equal partners. Actually, from all the hints dropped, it seems like Cameron and Donna are eventually going to end up in a romantic relationship together, t b h! Either way, Cameron and Donna are ultimately reaffirmed as the real heart of the show, and their relationship is validated in a way I feel like I really haven't ever seen on film before. That might not matter to a lot of people, but as a lesbian who is deeply emotionally invested in all of her relationships with women, including her friendships with straight women, I can't tell you how happy it made me to see these two lonely, brilliant, sensitive, stone fox, take-no-shit geniuses get the happy ending they've always deserved.

And finally, J*e. I'll just say outright that I don't feel bad for J*e. He went to Texas in 1983, destroyed a lot of lives, spent a decade chasing a woman who repeatedly rejected his advances, and then after a many tragic losses over the course of ten years, he stopped. Okay? He stopped, he stopped chasing a woman he didn't belong with, stopped making collateral damage out of Donna, and maybe most importantly, let himself step away from the tech sector, where he did influential work, but lost so many people, including the love of  his life, and yes, I'm talking about Gordon. Sigh. So long as he isn't coming between or antagonizing Cameron and Donna, I hope J*e will really make this fresh start stick. I hope he'll maybe get some grief counseling, meet a hot single dad or teacher or something, and eventually adopt or foster some kids? We don't get to see that, though. All we know is that he's left behind what wasn't working, and he's trying again. I hate to tell you this babies, but: sometimes, out here in the real world, that really is the best you can do.

I stand by my critiques of the season, especially those regarding the handling of the women characters. Honestly, they also could've done better by J*e, our one canonically non-heterosexual main cast member. But I enjoyed this finale far more than I thought possible, and I needed its overall message. I understand that message to be that we can thrive, despite our flaws, if we find people who get us, work that we enjoy, some kind of niche where we're accepted for who we are and what we love. Even if it takes a while, even if we lose those people and those homes, we can keep searching.

It's been a wild, and super emotional ride, yalce! But like Donna, I loved every minute of it. Because even when I didn't love it, I loved writing about the show and talking to some of you about it here. I genuinely hope that you got as much out of this show as I did, and that it made you feel maybe a little more hopeful, and a little less alone, and that it will keep making you feel that way, even though it's ended its run. I hope that it will do that for me, at least.

[artificialqueens]

Church of the Poison Mind (Trixya) Ch. 7 - Dahlia

A/N:

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’ve been going through a lot of pretty heavy real life stuff, and have just basically been overwhelmed, but I am so OVERJOYED to be writing again! And I thank you so much for your patience in waiting for this chapter! Here’s hoping the final chapters follow in quick succession. Thank you so so so much for all of your kind words and messages, they keep me going!

ALSO I’M SO SORRY THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER IS JUST ANGST. You’re welcome. :)

I would not have made it through this chapter, or life in general, without my lovely lesbians DjoodiGarland and Matilda_Queen. Thank you for always being there for me and loving me through this. And to Rosie, my beautiful, sweet love. Thank you for everything, I don’t know where I’d be without you.

“What kind of daughter are you?”

There had been a lot of shouting those days, a lot of name calling, a myriad of misspoken insults that sank into her skin like injections of lost faith.

Trixie spent most of her time calling rental agencies, shaking her mother awake, getting turned down by realtor after realtor because she was, well, she was too young. And truly, how could she expect any respectable adult to take her seriously?

“You have to be at least 18 to apply.”

 I’m not.

“Is this a prank call? Where are your parents, kid?”

Hell, if I should know.

”You have to file a credit report, first.”

What’s a credit report?

“Okay so, why can’t your mother come to the phone again?”

She’s ill.

”We’ll get back to you.”

No, you won’t.

Homeless. Trixie kept thinking, homeless . If it continues on this way, the sheriff will come and evict us and we’ll be homeless. Countless nights she’d lie awake, obsessively checking her emails, relentlessly disappointed, and she’d think homeless.

She’d stopped going to school, stopped trying to wake her mother in time for the truancy officers, in time for CPS, and family services. And nobody looked at her the same, they always held the same disgustingly patronizing eyes. Poor trixie, her mother doesn’t care, her mother can’t care, her mother had forgotten to care.

But still, they shrugged her case off. Afterall, there’d been no evidence of physical abuse. Trixie appeared well fed, well kempt. And this allowed for more time, for more phone calls and rejections. Allowed for more empty booze bottles and prescription refills, piling sinks full of dishes and dirty carpets.

And soon she found herself asking, “What kind of a daughter am I?”

—

“I’m very sorry, we… I should not have done this. It was inappropriate of me.”

“Katya…”

Through the fog of lost sleep and Russian folk flowing tinny through the car speakers, Trixie rubbed the sleep from her eyes, stealing glances from her seat on the passenger’s side. Katya’s eyes were narrowed and stolid as she drove, focused on the road, pale hair spilling out in heaps over her thin shoulders. And neither of them spoke, the ever-thickening gravity of the night before weighing on them like a fever dream. Trixie felt tender but weary, fearful. She wanted more, so much more than the situation could allow.

Somewhere, on some plane, Trixie knew that this was fleeting; that any feeling Katya might’ve held for her, couldn’t be sustainable. And she could feel the regret, hanging bitter in the air between them, that even though they hadn’t done anything measurable, it was the tenderness that stung the most. The cloying need for sweetness, need for more, contradicted by the wavering inability to act; but still, she yearned for Katya’s touch, for that laugh, and those wide, curious eyes.

The sun came into full view then, but the hour was still just as pale blue as the shine in Katya’s eyes. And as they pulled up to Trixie’s house, much to her surprise, Katya didn’t look over, but stayed steely, eyes cast over the dashboard. And Trixie sighed complacently, as the warmth had seeped out of Katya’s smile somewhere between Main street, and Beacon drive.

Trixie sat for a moment, quiet in her breathing, searching the side of Katya’s face, silently willing Katya to turn her head. Her sight followed the deep plunge of Katya’s cheekbones, down her neck, her freckled chest; and Trixie wanted nothing more than to reach out and let a hand fall to the back of Katya’s neck, but she resisted.

And just then, with a subtle haste, Katya sent her arm across the center console, over Trixie’s chest, and opened the passenger’s side door.

Confident there was nothing more to be said, she flipped a brief nod of thanks and turned in her seat to step down, but before she could, the light brush of Katya’s fingers found her cheek. And Trixie turned her head to meet Katya’s eyes, just as bright and heavenly as they were the night before, but riddled now with penitence. Trixie closed her eyes, leaning her cheek into Katya’s palm, a deep exhale leaving her like a calm under the waves. Softly, she opened her eyes, took in one last glance, and stepped out of the car, closing the door gently behind her.

Soon Trixie was watching Katya pull away, her car stalling at first, and then kicking up dust as it descended the graveled drive. A chill ran through her, smooth in the November air; and Trixie found herself, bleary eyed and sullen, missing the cardigan she’d forgotten in Katya’s back seat. All the while hopeful, incredibly hopeful, that its presence would carry Katya back to her.

With a forbearing sigh, Trixie carried herself up the porch steps and pushed through the front door. She entered, closed it quietly behind her, and tiptoed through the kitchen, kicking off her shoes by the basement door.

“Well, aren’t we getting in late…”

Trixie turned with a start, her heart skipping a beat. Kim was sat at the kitchen window seat, spooning heaps of sugar into a steaming mug of tea. And as the steam crept into the air, an image of last night’s coffee churned in the pit of Trixie’s stomach. Then she was desperate for it, remnants of that memory still latent on the burnt tip of her tongue.

“Or should I say,” Kim spoke again with a curt grin, “early? Given it’s 5am.”

“Okay, mom. I could ask you the same thing. What’re you doing here so early?”

“Waiting for you.”

“What, why?” Trixie chuckled, scanning Kim’s face.

Trixie crossed the kitchen floor and headed for the coffee maker, her hip brushing Kim’s protruding knee as she passed by. Her head ached with exhaustion, and while she was thankful for the comforting gurgle of coffee brewing, she felt irritable, raw; unsure if the coffee would help or hurt. Trixie laid her upper body over the center counter top, her elbows resting on the surface; and she closed her eyes, self-soothing, rubbing slow circles into her temples.

“So, you did forget?”

“Forget wh-” Trixie stopped, slowed, “oh, shit. Kim, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot we had- I just got so caught up in… wait, so you sat here all night… waiting for me? Why didn’t you just call me?”

“Well, no dummy, I’m not a freak. I woke up a little while ago. And I did call you, last night. But your phone was off.”

Trixie patted around her pockets, and upon finding her phone, ran her fingertips over the surface; the tips of her nails catching in the cracks of last year’s shatter. And while she powered it on, a soft silence hung in the air between her and Kim.

↳ Kim: hey, i just got in, pearl’s cooking again, im whispering tiny prayers for the safety of your kitchen. you leave school yet?

↳ 1 Missed Call: Kim

↳ Kim: Violet said she hasn’t seen you all afternoon, are you okay?

↳ Kim: say yes to the dress is starting in like 5 mins, do you want me to wait… or???? should I just assume I get to indulge in ALL of these facemasks by myself??

↳ Kim: yoooooo my skin abouta be TIGHT

↳ 6 Missed Calls: Caller ID Restricted

↳ Kim: ok it’s literally 1am, where tf are you????? im getting kind of worried here. ive had to stop violet from calling the police like 6 times

↳ 2 Missed Calls: Kim

↳ 11 Missed Calls: Caller ID Restricted

She shook a wave of anxiety and returned her gaze to Kim.

“I… I’m so sorry, I just, my-”

“You were with her again, weren’t you?”

“What?”

“Listen, I’m worried about you, Trix,” her tone softened, and Trixie met her gaze through clouds of coffee steam, “you-”

“Listen Kim, I’ve had kind of a shitty morning and it’s like dick o’clock and I really don’t have th-”

“You’ve just, you’ve been spending a lot of time with her, Trixie.”

“Excuse me? Are you policing who I spend my time with now?” Trixie said, still joking, but a little sharper than she’d intended.

Speech suspended for a moment as Kim drew in a long breath, and exhaled on a quiet sigh.

“Okay. First of all, chill. I just mean that… Listen, Trix, she seems sweet, she really does, but there’s some nasty stuff going around about her and I just don’t want to see you mixed up in that.”

Trixie could feel a bubbling heat rising in her chest, up her neck, spreading into a rouge across her cheeks. She poured the coffee into a mug, some splashing onto the countertop, and found herself rifling through the spice rack for cinnamon; she needed something to shake Katya’s impassivity, to bring her back to last night’s loveliness; but the scent alone burned Katya’s image in the back of her mind, a picture so clear of her face, so cold and distant.

She sipped slowly, cinnamon catching at the back of her throat, and somewhere in all of the coughing, Kim’s patronization had crept beneath her skin and set the surface ablaze.

“Honestly Kim, I love you, but it’s too early for this shit. And thinking about it now, literally none of this is even remotely your business. You don’t know anything about her,” Trixie said, biting. Her headache raged on, a sour pang radiating from the back of her neck. And she could tell she was overreacting, creating something out of nothing; but she couldn’t help but fall farther into it.

“Trixie, I’m your friend. I’m just saying, you always do thi-”

“Well, don’t just say . I’m stressed enough about this as it is, and I don’t need you, of all people, making this harder on me! You’re always on me about this kind of shit, and I don’t need it right now!”

“Wow, okay. You make plans with me. Break them. Fuck your teacher. And somehow, I’m in the wrong? Since when is carin-”

“I did not fuc- did you ever stop and think, for maybe even a millisecond, that the reason I’m spending all of this time with her is because you keep ditching me?”

“Trixie, do not put this on me. You always do this.”

“Do what?” Trixie snapped.

“You always turn things around on me! I’ve literally done nothing wrong here!” Kim stood then from the window seat.

“Oh, so it’s perfectly okay for you to promise me a ride, and then leave me stranded like three times a week, but the one time I make a human mist- “

“I’ve done so much for you, Trixie! This is not one human mistake . I knew you’d find some way to fuck this up. You know, I bust my ass day and night, and everyone fucking wants something from me. I give, and I give, and all you do is take,” Kim interrupted, throwing her hands into the air, and letting them fall hard to her sides.

Trixie watched the argument unravel from a space outside of her own body. She could see the anger leaving Kim in harsh waves; and though the salt water stung, stirred bitter words in her own mouth that threatened escape, she was able to rationalize, self sooth. She couldn’t fully give herself to the argument, knowing that this was long awaited for Kim, that maybe all the stress and chaos had finally gotten to her.

A person could only bend so far before it broke them, could only expend so much before they were due. And Kim, generous and giving as they come, had spent countless hours of her life twisting and contorting her time to fit the moulds of other people; but the words still hurt, still rang of distant memories of her mother’s disappointment, of rage and of acid.

“Fuck what up?” Trixie took a step back, her mind racing.

“Nothing, just forget it.”

“No, you have something to say, say it. You’re not my mother Kim, I don’t need you to take care of me.”

“Oh, that’s rich! You know, I might as well be your mother. Who the fuck do you think found you this place when your actual mother threw you out? Who got you the job you quit because it was,” Kim pulled her fingers into air quotations, “too much? Paid your rent when you couldn’t. Who busted her ass getting you into this school? You can’t commit to anything Trixie, and now, NOW, you’ve gone and figured out the ONE way you can fuck up school, too! I hope Katya’s worth it I really do. Because when administration finds out, you’re both fucked .”

A knot twisted tightly in Trixie’s stomach.

“Stop bringing her into this! You don’t know anything about her! Or me for that matter, clearly. But obviously , you have a lot to say,” Trixie said, almost shouting.

“You think she cares about you? You’re wrong, Trix. You need to grow up, really. She’s using you, just like she did Phi Phi. And when this all blows up in your face, like everything always does, you’re gonna come crying to me. And you know what? I won’t be here.”

Just then, a small noise from the staircase caught their attention. They turned their heads to find two thin figures perched at the top, eyes wide and watching. And Pearl opened her mouth to speak, but Trixie was out the door, leaving her coffee steaming on the counter.

—

Kim’s words, heated and stinging, followed her like a phantom down the darkened halls of her university. And while it hurt, ached a sore plight down the center of her chest, she knew that everything Kim said had been right. She’d been a bad friend, taken too much and given too little. And she could hear her mother’s words too, fresh as the day they were spoken, like silent criminals come to steal her composure.

Autopilot carried her to Katya’s class, wearing the same clothes as yesterday, in the same cracked makeup down her cheeks. Their eyes met and unmet constantly, knowing, each glance holding space a little longer than it should’ve. And Trixie felt as though she could cry at any moment, as the dull ache in her head echoed through the back of her skull, and the glaring need for escape ravaged all the spaces in between. She felt trapped, cornered, unable to escape Katya’s eyes; though she wasn’t quite sure she wanted to. She wanted someone to see her, that she was sure of. Someone to see passed the façade and tell her that it was all going to be okay; and she wanted that someone to be Katya; but some things just couldn’t be, and she was learning then, slowly but surely, that she had to make peace with that. Maybe they could come out of this on top, settle for glances and smiles, chats after class, and maybe, just maybe, Trixie could forget the rush. And if not forget, then settle for a dull ache of what could’ve been.

5 Missed Calls .

Class flew by in a blurred rush of muted anxiety, Trixie auto piloting her way through the motions, all the while hoping she could slip out near the end unnoticed; but much to her dismay, as Trixie had anticipated, the end of class found Katya beelining for Trixie’s desk, and any interaction between them became suddenly unavoidable.

“Listen, Tracy, I’m… I’m very sorry about last night, about this morning, I would never want to make you feel uncomfortable,” Katya started.

“Katya don’t, really. It’s fine, you haven’t don-”

“I think it would be… in better interest, if I didn’t drive you home anymore.”

“I don’t understand,” Trixie said, picking absently at the corner of her thumb nail.

“We can’t do thi-”

“We haven’t done anything.”

“You know what I mean.”

Trixie stood for a moment and let everything sink in, their eyes meeting.

Katya reached for Trixie’s left hand and brought it gingerly to her lips. So tender, so domestic. She placed a soft kiss on Trixie’s knuckle, then let their hands drift together to the left side of her chest. And through the cotton of Katya’s blouse, Trixie could feel the quick drumming of her heart, could see in her eyes a great fear, but also a great acceptance.

“I know,” Trixie said quietly, pulling her hand back.

She turned on a slow heal and started for the door; leaving Katya, small and teary eyed, stark in the middle of the room. And as Trixie stole a final glance, the light of the projector cast her silhouette like a specter across the back wall that sunk into the floor while the door swung shut behind her.

She’d only gotten a few steps down the hall before tears began spilling down her cheeks, probably carrying mascara with them. And Trixie blotted the space beneath her eyes, covertly avoiding eye contact with Jinkx as she passed her down the main hall just before the stairs.

7 Missed Calls.

 —

 She found herself outside then, heading toward the employee parking lot, under the usual tuck of trees that arched against the rain almost protectively overhead. Though many of the leaves had fallen and sunken into the grounds, there had been just enough to provide her shelter, and she stood for a few beats before realizing Katya wasn’t going to come; then again, neither would Kim. Trixie shivered as the cold hit her, her breath evident in the brisk, and she coiled into herself, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her hips.

She patted around her pockets and produced a crumpled twenty dollar bill, that she smoothed against her books and tucked into the side of her bra, the very last of that week’s allowance. While she scrolled through her phone in search of a taxi company, though they were sparse in these parts, she watched as cars puttered by her, subtly hoping to see Katya’s round the drive.

Before she could hit call, her phone lit up again, buzzing in her palm; a contact photo, her at a young age, eyes bright and glittering, a cheesy smile. And her mother, younger, less weathered, hair still long and curly, thin fingers pinching Trixie’s cheeks.

Until then, the calls seemed more like a minor nuisance, just a permanent fixture on the dashboard of her notifications, but now it cut deep; reminded her of all that she’d lost, all that she’d never regain. And she did something she hadn’t done in months, hadn’t done since Kim had found her and brought her here, she answered . And it went just as swimmingly as she might’ve guessed.

“I’ve been calling you for weeks,” a gravely voice slurred through the phone line.

“Are you, are you drunk?”

“What kind of daughter would ask that?”

Soon there was shouting. And Trixie lost all awareness of her environment, her surrounding; but she knew people were watching, she just simply forgot to care. And tears were spilling out of her, falling onto her shirt, tangling with the rain water washing down her skin.

The air was cold, her fingers red and pruning, phone pressed firmly into her cheek. Everything was spinning and far from sound, and as her mother continued her lamentation, Trixie grew more tense, more unabsolved. She felt trapped suddenly, by all of the forces outside of her own body, controlling her, prodding and pulling like the strings of a marionette. And she came to a startling realization; her life, wasn’t hers. This wasn’t what she wanted, this wasn’t who she wanted to be.

Before she could even hang up the phone, someone was tugging at her arm, pulling her gently from the rain, and from the watching eyes. Guiding her down into a car, her boots finding the comforting crush of empty coffee cups and to-go wrappers. And her phone found its way back into her pocket, as did her fingers, numb from the cold that she pressed into her thighs.

They drove in mostly silence, down familiar roads that were slick now with sleet. And the squeaking of the windshield wipers held an almost deafening stance against the silence.

“Tracy… Ar-”

“Please, Katya. Please , don’t.” Trixie said, drying her cheeks with the sleeves of her sweater.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier, I just… You can still talk to me, you know.”

“No, I can’t. I really can’t.”

Just then, Katya pulled her car swiftly off of the road, hitting the curb and throwing the gears into park. She took off her seatbelt so she could turn to meet Trixie’s gaze.

“What are we doing here?”

“I want to talk to you. I want you to talk to me, there’s n-”

“You know what,” Trixie said, unfastening her seatbelt, “I really can’t. And you know damn well why I can’t.”

“I am not understanding this.”

“Because, Katya! I fucking want you, I want us, I want…” Trixie threw her hands into the air in exasperation, “this! And I’m so sick of everyone in my life telling me what to do, and who to be. Even you! Everyone is always… god, I don’t know! I’m so fucking overwhelmed all of the time by this expectation of who I’m supposed to be, how I’m supposed to act. I have never, ever, not once in my life, not had to fight for every single thing that I have and I’m sick of it. I’m my own person, we are both fucking adults and we can make our own decisi-”

Before she could finish, Katya’s hands were over the center console, pulling her face close, their lips finally meeting.

—

And suddenly her fingers are on me, in my hair, running down my neck. Our mouths meeting like it’s the first time, gliding swiftly over one another, melding us as one exchange of impassioned energy. And her breath is warm, and sweet, intoxicating . Everything I need. Devastatingly, so. From the light of the cars in passing, flickering across her skin, I can see every unspoken word, escaping into the expanse. She wants me, and I want her, and this may be fleeting but I’ve forgotten to care as her hands stroke passed my hair and down my back, sliding with a quick and heavy rhythm like she’s striking a match. Every ounce of angst in me cries out for her, yearns to be closer, to be deeper, to love long and speak sweeter. And I’m falling into her hard, like I’ve never fallen before-

 —

Their lips parted as Katya pulled away with haste, her eyes squeezing shut.

“Trixie, Trixie, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have, we can’t do this!” Katya tensed, her accent thicker than ever.

And all of the spinning inside of Trixie stopped, her expression blank, eyes blinking quick and without rhythm. Her skin flushed, hot embers fading into gray coals.

“ Trixie ?” She said in a hushed exasperation, realizing that it was the first time she’d ever heard the name leave Katya’s lips.

“We can’t, I’m so sorry. I just, I care about you so much but we… we can’t Trix-”

“Why not? WHY NOT? You just said it, you care about me! Katya, please, not you too, you can’t do this to me, too. I can’t handle someone else telling me what I ca-”

“Trixie, please try and understand… I’m so so-”

“You know what. Save it. ”

And with that, Trixie was climbing out of the car, the garbage underfoot kicking out onto the sidewalk.

[laundryandtaxes]

Yea sorry, same ‘Im missing something" anon, this is easier than ask because its complex and I care more about you doing some thinking than coming back with a quick answer about what you already think you know

I’m still missing what this has to do with being a sapphic woman only attracted to women vs those attracted to more genders? Lesbian makes sense as unique label & its important to protect the current meaning of it but, what makes you think other sapphic women have less need for terms that describe ways of being sapphic, interacting with other sapphic women, navigating our queerness? This isn’t cishets stealing “queer” - this is sapphic women who experience homophobia expecting to be treated as part of the sapphic community, and the only difference I see is you pushing us out because we may be attracted to men. If you don’t call us straight but you treat us straight it’s the same thing.

I see your concern about lesbophobia & I respect that. But, to say there is ‘lesbian culture’ that excludes other sapphic women and that there are ideas that came “from lesbians for lesbians”? it just makes no sense unless you don’t think other sapphic women are really sapphic and haven’t always been a part of sapphic culture. Lesbians shouldn’t be forced to ID as anything else, but, how does that mean your needs are unique to other sapphic women? because the idea we can oppress you by being bi is just as wrong as the homophobic “monosexual privilege” idea that some bi people puked up. When you separate lesbian women from bi women you are lumping us in with straight people & that’s just as homophobic as when bi women lump lesbians in with straight women.

To say these butch/femme ideas are “from lesbians for lesbians” means your erasing bi women in the sapphic communities that developed them and, erasing that bi women were deliberately pushed out of and erased from those communities. Even the quickest search suggests exactly what I suspected that butch/femme came from sapphic women as a whole back when 'lesbian’ meant all of us, and, definitely included women who would probably now call themselves bisexual and not lesbian, before we got kicked out and erased by homophobic lesbians who see us as traitors or straight infiltrators

I don’t need a response and to be honest I would be happier if you just took some time to think about this instead of immediately coming back with something defensive.

I just want you to think on this some about, why you are insisting that butch/femme are lesbian only ideas? Why you are erasing sapphic women attracted to other genders from our shared history? And, what do you think you lose if butch/femme labels are open to all sapphic women? (like they were created and always intended to be)

Answer:

I don’t know why you need me to agree with you on this- you presumably have your own blog, and your own mind! You are literally free to disagree, free to make up your own mind, free to follow any number of blogs where “femme” doesn’t really refer to anything at all, free to follow a bunch of “sapphic wlw lesbian is a bad word” style blogs. Have at it! I’m not even mostly being tongue in cheek- these are real options for you. Why not just take them?

Anyway, you’re wrong on several counts.

1. There is no such thing as overarching “sapphic” community in the same sense there isn’t REALLY an overarching LGBT community, even though we reference it when we talk about a group of people. Bi women and lesbians are not the same, or members of the same group. I have no interest in laying claim to “sapphic” as a term, so I am not pushing you out of literally anything.

2. You can use whatever terms you want to talk about specific ways of “being sapphic” or “navigating queerness.” I literally do not care. But neither butch nor femme has anything to do with “navigating queerness,” they are specific ways of experiencing and embodying lesbianism, point blank.

3. At no point have I said bi women oppress lesbians. I think that’s as stupid an idea an monosexual privilege, yes. You’re making an assumption that doesn’t make any sense. Being in a relationship with someone of the ~opposite~ gender obviously affords a number of material benefits, but not all bi people are, have ever been, or will ever be in these kinds of relationships, so I wouldn’t universalize that to bisexuality itself.

4. Bi women and lesbians do not need to be separated with rhetoric because, again, we are literally already separate groups, that share a lot of community, history, and issues (including homophobia) in common. But we are literally not the same. We are not the same because “lesbian” references an experience bi women don’t have, and “bisexual” references an experience lesbians do not have. This is fine. It is okay for us to be different. It is okay to celebrate difference, to see it as diversity. But to say lesbians and bi women are roughly the same is no more reasonable than saying lesbians and gay men are roughly the same, even though we are both gay- different lived experiences, period. So when you ask why I am separating them you’re presuming, wrongly, that we aren’t literally already separate but close to each other. Bi women also have a number of NEEDS (depending how you define needs) which lesbians don’t, and lesbians have a number of needs which bi women don’t.

5. Anne Lister as the source of the contemporary use of “butch” and “femme” has been debunked a million times- why you think working class American bars would have been so intimately connected with Anne Lister’s ideas as to credit her with “femme” in the bar scene sense of the term is beyond me, but “femme” literally means “woman” in French and this is almost certainly the way in which Lister used it, and I believe in certain contexts it also means “sister” and “wife;” additionally, Lister’s “plus femmes que moi” (not even actually worded by Lister, btw) translates roughly to “more womanly than me.” Not that it matters, because “femme” starts popping up in its current use in the US in working class gay bar scenes almost 100 years after Lister’s death in the UK. That’s a major geographical and historical gap.

6. WHATEVER the answer is to “Well lesbian used to refer to women who were probably attracted to men as well/many women who called themselves lesbians would not identify as bisexual,” which is a claim that is likely true but absolutely disprovable in the vast majority of cases, the absolute worst possible solution is to rhetorically dig up dead women and coercively relabel them as bi just because you think they wouldn’t see themselves as lesbians today. First of all, the meaning of the word has literally changed over time- the idea of being gay as a lifestyle choice in accordance with underlying attractions used to be very popular among actual LGBT people, and is not anymore, for instance, and people absolutely used “lesbian” to refer to women who had histories of dating men, may have still been attracted to them, but lived lives in communities of women who exclusively dated other women. I don’t care what politics you have, I think it is disrespectful and historically and intellectually disingenuous to dig them up and reclassify them according to your personal politics and taste. Doing so is gross. Stop it.

7. As for the idea that I haven’t already considered the overwhelmingly popular opinion that any and every woman has the right to use “butch” and “femme” as an identifier for themself, honestly that’s both stupid and deeply annoying, on top of being obnoxiously patronizing. Yeah, I considered it and I disagree, point blank. Don’t wanna see it, just don’t look at my blog. It’s not that deep.

8. I want you to think about why you are so defensive when confronted with the reality that actually, yeah, lesbians and bi women are different and not the same, and there are a number of experiences lesbians have that bi women don’t, and vice versa- for instance, if there was a term which specifically referred to the ways bisexual women navigate bisexuality while being gender nonconforming, I wouldn’t go “Oh I’m gnc too so that’s my word.“ What about lesbians wanting to lay claim to something we made upsets you so much? As for your last bit, you’re a total stranger- why should I care about what would “make [you] happier” when it comes to your unwanted opinion on misappropriated lesbian terms? You’re quite oddly entitled, honestly. Which does not surprise me, considering this whole conversation is about your entitlement to terms that don’t reference you. Frankly, this whole thing is why I hate the popular use of the term “sapphic” and the culture of brushing over difference which has popped up around it on tumblr. There is a reason I never use the term, and instead opt for lbpq in most cases or SOMETIMES wlw, where it makes sense.

[rockyoshaughness-blog]

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Rape satire is a fine pastime, FOR THOSE WHO LIKE IT. Seriously, there are hotlines you can call, with people trained to guide you to services that can help you become a better person. Get psychological help if you want to actually rape someone. You already know that, right? Down voting threads that actively ward you away from their content, is just bullying. For those who don't, there are millions of stories out there for you. Wouldn't you rather read porn you like than bully the porn you don't? You won't change anyone's porns videos preferences. Hell, even that last sentence is arousing sick power fantasies about your down votes, isn't it? ditto Activist Teacher in Africa by DiscipleN - this story was inspired by a hilarious cartoonist's work. "You misunderstand, Pavbi, I don't want to take my clothes off. I want you to put yours back on. : - p Racism is a horrible mindset. He goes by the nym, 'Shota' - Clementine Francher stood with her back against the blackboard, wondering for the first time if she shouldn't have accepted the Foreign Teacher Corp's invite to the Sudan. " "That was an example of grammar. You shouldn't have left your desk. Don't waste your time even down voting. Rape is a horrible crime. " The dark black boy tilted his head, clearly confused, and clearly engrossed in his teacher's breasts jutting from her svelt frame. Girls were taught in a different building. His dangling cock was long but thin. " He stepped closer, until his outstretched hand could grasp his teacher's peach shaped hips. "Now put your shirt and pants back on and take your seat. " "But Miss says Pavbi take clothes. He snickered at the sight of her plump ass. "Turn around blackboard. "Okay, I take your seat. " Didn't the boy feel any shame, having stripped in front of the other boys in the classroom? Clementine thought they wanted to asked questions. "The other boys need my help. It was nearly as high as his chin! You cannot push up my skirt like that! " She started to lose control of her voice. It crackled with fear. " The less bold boys giggled and gave their friend a high hand, signaling their approval. He'd never seen anything like them. Twisting back to face her students proved impossible. For such a starving, thin lad, Pavbi was strong like a big monkey. " He spoke in his native tongue. The females he had abused before could hardly afford a skirt. " Pavi discovered his teacher's wide pair of panties. His young but strong arms wrenched the taller, now sputtering woman, around by a half turn. "You want other boy help? Boboo, Tranc, hold this curvy, white bitch while I pull it. I need to get it off of her. Take Pavbi and his clothes back to his desk. Man, did she come prepared or what? "Pavbi, don't tug on my underpants. " "Oh, Boboo and Tranc, thank you for rescuing me! His dark arms ripped his teacher's panties down her pasty thighs, tearing them and scratching her in the process. "Check out this white woman's cunt protector! When she tried to swat at them, they caught her arms and pinned them behind her back. " Miss Francher yelped! " The leader was not gentle. Chalk made her face whiter. She smelled like white woman, a nasty smell of soap turned sour by sweat in the hot air, with fear wafting stronger from her bung. His friends held her tight. She was too tall to fuck directly. He looked around and spied her chair. This forced their teacher to lean into the blackboard until, turning her head, one cheek pressed against it. It was tall, but if he kneeled on it. "Okay, you learned its bad to smell your teacher. His narrow, black prick leaped from his crotch, until its full ten inches bounced off of the lady's thigh. Now, let me go, Tranc, Boboo. " The boy got really excited. Pavbi leaned forward into the crack of Miss Francher's ass, until his thin cheeks were pressed between her fat cheeks. The sound stopped close behind her. Something very firm and very warm prodded her butt. " She struggled against her captors but their black fingers held firm. Teacher only I help now. Clementine noticed the boy retreat. " Pavbi shouted at his classmates. Dry but thrust passionately, his cock knew where to go. " To demonstrate his power over their teacher, he spanked her ass. It found the teacher's cunt hole and buried itself inside. I'll-" She heard something scrape across the pounded dirt floor. " Dry stroking his long, callused dick wasn't fun at first, but Pavbi was experienced at raping bitches. He ignored the initial scraping, confident what would happen quickly. " He cheered her and rammed his arrow into her. Even this white one pained his plunging prick. Tranc and Boboo maybe later. All the boys suffered worse pain everyday, trying to steal food, or working in the barren fields, or hauling trash, and taking lashes from their bosses and parents. How had this happened? He smiled so kindly and appreciatively, when she had signed the Corps' contract. It was as if the FTC had been hired to find white women to become playthings for the people here. But here she was in a tiny village not far from a small town in hottest Africa. She'd only been here a week! That was ridiculous, of course. And now she was pressed against sample sentences, blurring them with her cheek, as the boy behind her thrust heartily into her body. Wasn't anyone looking out for the teachers? Would it be their turn next? Slowly a more slippery liquid oozed from Clementine's puss. Pavbi sensed his effort getting easier. Two boys holding her firmly, giggled and nodded. The black man who hired her had been a respectful gentleman. The drops of sweat that dampened his cock were dew before a rain. Sweat poured down her back, dripping between her spread butt and soothing the hard cock ravaging her. Oh, the hurt was easing, physically. It started to feel good. Mentally, Clementine Francher, despaired anew. The length and strength and depth of her black rapist's plunging struck places in her that had never felt such ardor before. Her body was only reacting to prevent her rapist from seriously injuring her. She told herself, but as the burning friction lessened, another hot sensation replaced it. " The boy began chanting in his own language. porn video sunny leone The words drilled into his victim's mind. This boy knew something of women and how to use his fuck tool to confuse them. He felt her cunt loosen its grip as the secretions slicked onto his pumping rod. I can't let you cum in me! His prick wasn't hurting her anymore. Did she really want him to stop? Pavbi was far away from cumming. " The woman thought he was about to orgasm. " He blurted in bad English before switching back to his preferred tongue. His balls had started grinding, increasing the pressure of boy fuck juice, but his hammering shaft could fuck this white woman's cunt for a while yet, before he blew its gasket. " But already, she felt a question surfacing. "Miss want cum, but not soon! It was oddly compelling. " But she was starting to realize the boy's efforts were creating a division in her resolve. " The two boys beside her chimed in. His native chant sounded more and more like a song to her. Pavbi free new hd porn videos videos drilled her cunt to their rhythm. It's quick, sturdy strokes rapped something far more pleasant inside her loins. Their singing, and his fucking resonated deep inside of Miss Francher. The woman's cunt lurched around his dick. " They were rallying behind their friend. Pavbi threw his hips against his teacher's ass with passion redoubled. This white woman was starting to feel like a pretty good fuck! " "I DON'T want your cum! Now all the boys were singing. Her vagina convulsed from a minor orgasm, but it was no respit from her impaler. Yet she was unable to free herself from Pavbi's ruttings. Cunt cream sloshed over the invading, African spear. " Pavbi knew he was getting close. Clementine didn't even realize that Boboo and Tranc had released her, until she saw their hands pumping up and down. Her body felt as if she was trying to fuck back against his prick. She wriggled, but it only inflamed the boy. The boy was relentless. That was rare when he raped a female. He could fuck her all day, if he wanted. They stood in their classroom throwing their fists into the air with same speed that Pavbi plowed their teacher's white ass with his long black rod. Clementine bit her lip. He grabbed her hips and tried to force her to match his rhythm. Her cunt melted from a second, better orgasm. " "But you have to STOOOP-P-P! Goo from her insides stippled down her thigh and soaked into her torn panty. " She pleaded without a shred of conviction, embarrassment her only remaining motive to fight her attacker. " The sperm in Pavi's balls were boiling to get into the hot pussy that awaited them with streams of cunt juice. Soon he would see just how good a fuck this foreign white bitch was. "Must-," He missed a downbeat with his chant, but he wasn't ready to cum just yet. Clementine matched the pounding rhythm with her own backwards fuck motions. Was that what she wanted? They became an instrument of joyous sex pouding, deep notes like a kettle drum, while their voice sang in elevated pitch, loud enough to excite the whole room. He head swam with sensations of victory and power, while his body bucked like a mad bull! " Their teacher wailed! His thrusting slowed, but his force increased. Of all the bitches he had fucked, willingly and unwillingly, Pavbi had not felt a more powerful build up in his cock and balls. All of her students crowed around to watch their new found hero turn this prim white stranger into a lustful slave to their desires. He took her attempts to shake him off and turned them into more pleasurable, mutual poundings. " His balls exploded with cum. He slammed his loins against the bitch's ass and blasted her insides with billions of black baby makers. "MUST" "FUCK" "FFFFUUUUCKKK! His cock aimed true and deep. Her cervix gasped and sucked. Her cunt rippled, sucking the jets of boiling spunk into its core. He could feel his cock lurch. You're putting a black baby into me! She hardly knew what she was saying, but her mind lit up at the thought of video one porn of her poor, underprivileged students inseminating her with a pulsing stream of black boy cum! She screamed out her rapture, her view of the world tunneled, darkening. " Clementine orgasmed for the third time. Pavbi clung to her hips like a snake, plugging her cunt with throbbing cock to keep every gout of cum inside the teacher where it belonged. She kept shouting, "Not a black baby! Jet after jet shot into her womb and drenched any eggs waiting within. Dozens of eyes looked around, at each other, at the boy mated to the woman, at the cum and cunt juice dripping down into white cotton panties, at their teacher's glowing, shamed face. Cock and cunt merged into a powerful engine of ecstasy. " Miss Clementine Francher had never before felt so alive and humiliated and hurting and joyous and powerless and sick and released and full. The boys hardly dared to breath, lest they spoil the moment. Her quivering pussy calmed, and she felt her heartbeat slow from incessant pounding to frightful anticipation. The room had fallen silent. She pulled her chalk smeared face away from the blackboard and surveyed the room. Clementine felt the last spurt of Pavbi's cum boil into her. " What seemed like hours of ecstasy lasted a handful of minutes. Inside their head, the chant never stopped. She was surrounded by young, black boys. video one porn by one, they began removing their clothes.

[existentialterror]

Short story from the archives. This was written for a game of Monster Hearts and probably won’t make much sense outside of it, but I like it and thought the format was interesting, so let’s try it. Alcyon of Long Marsh, the main character, is a lackadaisical hipster lesbian witch. She has an etsy shop but no phone, because phones give you cancer. Half of her magic works as intended, but she doesn’t know which half. In this story, Kale, the slimey but faintly endearing sleezebag who does tasks for the very rich and threatening Tsaigrinn, has left his phone in her car after he and the player characters (Tsaigrinn, Alcyon, Cal, some others) investigated a mystery in the woods. These are the calls she takes on Kale’s phone.

“Hello?”

“No, this is, uh, Kale's phone. On an object-level scale, this is exactly the result you wanted to get. But on a more spiritual, or rather, metaphysical level, you will not get to speak to Kale. That was your broader vision, but it's not your future. It cannot be. Kale is not here.”

“That's what I'm saying. This isn't his phone any more. You have to find some other way to speak to him.”

“No, no, he's fine. I mean, I assume he is. I don't want to know.”

“Did I steal it? No, he gave it to me. Why do you ask?”

“Y'ello? No, this is Alcyon of Long Marsh, last of her name, well, so far at least. Probably forever. But I don't know, you know? Maybe I just haven't met the right person. I'm so young.”

“Nah man, he's not here. Look, I'm way more interesting. I make spells for a living. I have an Etsy shop. I compose ambient plateau noise. I might save the world. Why would you want to talk to him?”

“Debt collection? Oh. I don't know anything about that, man.”

“Hola. Nah, man, Kale's not here. I'm not your baby. What? Ew. That sounds gross. Don't call here again.”

“Greetings. Oh, you again. Listen, I really don't know where Kale is. I know you want to reach him, and I know this was his number, but he changed it, or like, isn't using phones anymore, or whatever. I don't know where he is. I don't even want to. You and me, my friend, are at cross purposes.”

“Yeah, I can imagine Kale doing that. I bet it's a ton of money. God. That's priceless.”

“Anyways, how much?”

“Ha ha, god. That's hilarious.”

“Heyo. No, this is Alcyon, who is this? No, you got the right number.”

“Oh my god. Susan Flanagan, like the- yeah! Whoa. Why are you calling Kale?”

“Wait, no, listen, I didn't mean to be such a dick. I'm sorry.  It isn't my business why a lovely lady such as yourself is calling a slovenly bastard such as- wait, sorry, did it again. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on this guy. Maybe I misjudged him, you know? I mean, I'm still way more attractive and interesting, but you think you know someone, and then it turns out they have whole secret lives and events and universes going on inside them.”

“I can't pass on a message for you, aren't you listening? Listen, I respect you. Whatever you and Kale have going on is beautiful. Never forget that.”

“Am I his- no, ha ha, god, can you imagine? He left his phone in my car. Are you doing anything this weekend?”

“Hello? Hello?”

“Namaste, who's calling?”

“Oh, you again! I have not seen our friend Kale since we last spoke.”

“I was being figurative, god. We don't know each other. Listen, I'm a little hammered, plastered, or maybe drywalled at the moment, and-”

“Like, don't know him at all. Just stop calling.”

“Okay, listen. You want money? Here is what you do. You need an egg. Like a chicken egg. You have to dip it in ocean water- from the ocean, can't just dump some iodized shit in tap water and call it a day- legit ocean water-”

“You're writing this down? Jesus.”

“Okay, and then you hollow it out. Like a blown easter egg. The internet will tell you how to do it. Then you have to put a small amount of, uh, lead, or gold, inside the egg. A fine wire. I'm telling you, just a small amount. You probably have some already. Then you bury it in your garden for three nights. You gotta dig it up again- be real careful, cause it's, like, an egg- and put it in your house. Then great financial fortune will come to you.”

“Yeah, no problem. Glad to help. Best of luck, man.”

“Hey there. Oh, uh, hey Tsaigrinn. This is Alcyon. No, uh, you need to update your database, or, uh, mind-palace, or whatever, to his new number.”

“Oh, he needs a new phone. He left it in my car during the, uh, events in the forest and I told him you'd get him a new one from the future. I thought he'd told you. Maybe he couldn't reach you. He doesn't know where you live, does he?”

“Nah, I don't want to give it to him. He's slimey and I think if he touches me, I might turn into one. You could, if you want. Or, like, get a robot to deliver it to him. I don't want this cancer machine. Do what you want.”

“Hey, you have a lot of phones. Why don't you have cancer? Wait, don't hang up.”

“Hi. If you're-”

“Oh, it's you! The, uh, the debt collection guy, Mr.-”

“Yeah. What's up?”

“I- it worked? Seriously?”

“That's a lot.”

“All that just from a bank error?”

“Well, uh. I'm glad to have assisted this money in its path to you- you know, with, like, some faith and the willingness to try new shit, the universe can, uh, really open its doors to you. That's how magic works. If you're interested in my other work, I have this Etsy shop...”

“Shalom. This is the phone that formerly belongs to Kale. I am the spirit of this noxious machine. If he owes you money, or you want to bang him, for some reason, or you want to hang out with him and your other gross friends, because your life is falling apart, like, that just isn't going to work out. I, the soul of the have been freed from this gross man's pocket into this wide world and no longer adhere to the iron laws of my flesh master. In fact, I'm giving you cancer right now, so speak quickly, mortal.”

“Oh, hey Cal. Ignore all that. What's up?”