#its not the end of the world but id like them to have the option of a warm dry stall

[gargelyfloof118]

Somewhere between 5 to 7 yards of dolomite were delivered and spread in the runway for the barn.

It didn't get properly tamped down by the contractor our neighbor ordered, so Hubs rented a tamper and did his best to pack it all down, wet it, and pack it down some more.

We roped off the area in hopes it can dry and become more solid before the horses tear it up with their hooves. And now it's raining...

It does look nice though.

[thequietkid-moonie]

your prompts are so so cute omg... i specially love that "Darling hugs them as a sign of forgiveness"... id like to request it for Harpae and Freya (lgts) if thats cool (thank you!!!)

Giving them a hug in sign of forgiveness

[ YANDERE, SCENARIO ] [ Harpae, Freya ]

[ Pocket Mirror GoldenerTraum ] [ Little goody two shoes ]

I love this prompt <3 its bittersweet and I like it, like the perfect balance (besides, I love hugs, hugs are soooo comforting)

Harpae

Harpae loves deeply her darling, for her you are all she needs, you are her comfort and her reason to keep going, the small little reminder that everything its fine, she can bare all that have happened to her because you are at her side, you are what she needs so bad

Harpae tries really hard to be her darling's knight in shining armor, despite not being able to see she will make sure to protect you from everything and anything, to keep you safe, and thats the reason why you must stay at her side and follow her orders, thats the only way to keep you safe

Harpae is aware of what she is doing, of the extreme she is going just with the excuse of keeping you safe, about how pushy she can be, but she can't help it, she doesn't want to lose you too

At the end Harpae has no other option than accepting how much she has made you suffer because of things she didn't wanted to admit or how overprotective she has been, and the moment she finally accepts it she has a really bad breakdown, if you are mad at her then Harpae feels like she have failed you, she have made you suffer and that goes against what she was trying to do all this time, if you are mad at her then her entire world tremble and cracks under her feet, you are everything for her and your opinion matter more than she wanted to admit

Despite not wanting you to be mad at her she kinda expected it, its what always happen after all, but when instead of yelling at her or calling her a failure you simply decided to hug her tightly enough for her to stop crying and hurting herself she simply freezes, that was too shocking for Harpae but definetly not something unwanted

It take Harpae a moment to fully understand what you where doing and it isn't until you explicit tell her that is fine, you forgive her for what she have done is when Harpae start crying again, but this time it isn't the desperate and heartbreaking cries, this time is more of relief and hope, grapping her arms around you in a second and holding you as tight as posible as if you were to dissapear if she let go of you, crying until she feels exhausted and there is no more tears to come out

Despite this breakdown, since you have forgive her and accept her Harpae will not change much, she still is pretty controlling over you but also grows to be even more gentle and loving, showing her possesive side with beautiful words and gentle gestures

Freya

For Freya there is no one like her darling, you are one of a kind and her absolute and undeniable love of her life, she is completely in love, Freya is completely loyal to her love and will do everything in her power to make sure her darling stays with her so both can live your happy ever after

Freya isn't going to take a no from her darling, she is just unable to even think about the posibility of her darling not liking her they way she does, so it doesn't matter if you want it or not Freya simply will cling to your side, following you around and slowly become part of your day by day, even making everyone in the village think that you are great to be with each other

Freya doesn't really hesitant nor feels shame about her obssesive love nor of the extreme she is willing to go for this love story to go the way she wants, not even about the fact that she have left you with no other option because she simply think is nothing bad, she knows that she can make you happy so there is no reason for you to don't love her (even if it will take you a little longer to fall for her, its fine, she wil make sure you stay at her side the rest of your life so you have time fall for her)

Freya normally doesn't snap at her darling since she thinks everything is alright, but if you keep puting distance and excuses of why you can't be with her and love her or just make your discomfrot more obvious its when she will slowly be forced to see the reality, to finally see throught her fantasy, but she won't take it well

The idea of you suffering because all she have done and that leading you to don't love her makes Freya anxious and desperate, lead her to imediatly try to deny everything and ask you to please tell her that this isn't true, she doesn't want this to be true, she even shut her eyes close trying to don't think about it anymore, so the moment you give her a hug a wave of comfort floods her, making her freeze in her stop as she process whats happening before clinging onto you like if her life depends on it

Even if you express with words that you forgive her for what she have done Freya still will ask you over and over again if it is for real, if you are being serious and if you really aren't mad at her, she just need too much comfort after the distress she was in a moment ago, but once she is finally able to accept it and calm down Freya will be incredibly happy, taking this as a sign that you finally love her too!

[starsaparilla]

you said you wanted asks so i must ask

1) do you have a courier oc? like, an actual character.

2) thoughts about christine and veronica (and Christine staying in Sierra Madre)?

3) what's one character you wish had been a companion but wasn't? and why and how would their quests go idk im shy despite asking on anon 😔💔

1) yes!! i have a couple.. i make new ones depending on the run i’m doing or the faction im siding with etc but for my current playthrough (neutral karma independent vegas) i have cherry!! she’s super cool… i like her lots. nepo baby that wants to run vegas herself as a way to get back at her family for disowning her (long story) + learns about love and friendship and kindness and also backstabbing along the way! i can’t draw so i mostly make pinterest boards for characters but yeah… i love my ocs. trying to flesh out the rest of her family at the minute too bc they were (to me) pretty prominent figures in the wasteland until around 50 or so years before the events of new vegas!!

2) christine and veronica are so dear to me!!! canon lesbians in a video game… i do wish they didn’t fall into the trappings of gays with unhappy endings but yk. 2010 so i suppose it was par for the course. as for christine staying in the sierra madre i have mixed feelings- ultimately i like it narratively, i think christine becoming a guardian is very fitting. the sierra madre houses vera keyes, a woman who had her life derailed and destroyed by the greed, cruelty, rivalry and jealousy of two men. in a similar vein, christine royce had her own life- and her love- uprooted and snuffe out by a cruel and greedy man too. it makes poetic sense to me that christine would stay to guard the sierra madre. christine/vera parallels are so srs to me and i would definitely go into way more detail at another point but im trying to keep this concise because you didn’t ask to be blasted with my dead money brainrot. anyway also i find it oddly beautiful that a place with such a dark past can perhaps become a safe haven like it should always have been now that christine is there. my one issue is that there’s no option to inform veronica of where christine is or anything but i know this was due to technical limitations and nothing else so i don’t harp on the devs too much for this.

3) benny maybe… i think doing an independent run with benny as the companion makes soooo much sense and i do think an ending where you both take vegas is super fun. but i have the benny companion mod so i don’t think he counts as an answer here for me personally. in terms of what would be best for gameplay id say a legion companion would be interesting as while i dont play legion nor do i like them, i think its a shame they’re underdeveloped. victor as a companion could be rlly fun! good for a house run and id love a securitron companion anyway :) id also love to port ulysses to the main game as a companion 💔💔💔 and then obvious popular answer sunny smiles my angel <3

i forgot to add quests!!! god actually i’m gonna have to think abt this one but i think for benny an interesting quest would be anything to do with the boot riders… will nvr forgive the lack of backstory we get for him in the game. legion companion could potentially involve visiting old settlements and learning about their history? it would be interesting for a legion companion to be someone disheartened with the legion’s methods, kind of like veronica (BUT NOT LIKE VERONICA) , and you can ultimately talk them into leaving (good karma) or convince them to stay with you and the legion (bad karma). i’m not sure on specifics for victor but given that he’s a cowboy likely inspired by old world western movies it could be so fun to have a quest that follows the plot of some famous western movie… big dramatic shootout at high noon. fun times. ulysses i’m split on bc i think it’s entirely contingent on how you interact with him in lonesome road and which faction you’re aligned with as there’s a lotttt of ways he can feel about you due to all of these factors that might make creating one Definitive companion quest hard. as for sunny idk. something that lets us go back to goodsprings ^_^ very last minute but i also think a great khan companion would be nice mostly bc i like the khans and the narrative is so awful to them

[verdemint]

Back to my conclave thoughts! Spoiler ahead ofc

Something i adored was the shot of them voting one last time and lawrence looking up at the hole in the wall from the terrorist attack letting light enter the room, beautiful metaphorically and also the perfect shot of the micheangelo’s fresco with jesus turning to the light entering from the hole in the wall

Beautifully shot and everything

Also how they were able to showcase the nuns and their role in the church. Them being silent all the time but also showing them cooking and cleaning and eveything, its them taking care of the cardinals, of the church, but they’re ofc ignored, they’re in the background.

Not only showing us the roles of nuns in the church but of women in general. Not only in the vaticane but in every little church around the world! Yes they cant become priests but whos attending masses? Women. Who’s cleaning every church in italy for free usually? La perpetua, women once again. Its women labour and work for free most of the time that are the backbone of the community, they are the reason why going to church is a social athering situation, its their work for the community that goes largely under appreciated. So really liked how they depicted nuns doing the same thing as your random italian woman in their forties going to church and then cooking and cleaning for everyone basically

But also i can’t help but ask myself what was the point of the movie in the end? Maybe i should read the book and I’m open to discussion! Id love to talk about this more! But them choosing this modern day saint as the pope. Why? Is this a way to absolve from their sins and wrongdoings that were shown and revealed to the entire conclave by lawrence? Like choosing the good guy??

I was so hyped when they showed bellini, a liberal cardinal, one of the “good ones” accepting money to elect tremblay, like that was shocking but also so realistic! Not even the good guy are truly good there, they wouldnt be in the conclave if they were, the whole ‘we have to choose the less evil option’ was all fake! Bellini was getting money and power out of it! Perfect brilliant yes thats exactly what would happen there! Even the good ones cant escape the mafia style and corrupted behaviour in the church. (Comportamento omertoso uno dopo l’altro for my italians around! Insane that theres not a real translation for omertoso in english like thats an extremely unique and precise word)

And then them choosing benitez the good guy after that last speech. Were they ashamed of their previous actions and thats why they elected him? How fid that terrible group of people elect Benitez? Co i cant believe they were just mi ed bu his speech i cant believe it. And Benitez this perfect saint! Like i cant believe it once again

So yes! Very beautiful movie and very beautiful dialogue! Im just confused about the why, what was the point they were truing to make? And if the point was theres still hope in the church then do we really need this type of message?

[daydrinking75]

fuck off i just wana get high of prescription medication so my back stops hurting and not participate in society. cant i just DO things? without the weight of having a future and fighting for to keep it. its not that im being forced to, but its my only option. i dont think its worth dying yet, theres nothing to die over really; the cumulative experience of 20 years really is nothing in the grand scheme of things. i have an idea of who i could be, and id like to see that person and be that person, but i can only do so if i keep living. and living means work. it takes a lot of work to live. and that makes me just wana kill myself because why is life--something thats upheld on this stupid pedestal and considered "good"--so damn painful? to me anyway. thats the unfortunate thing, i can only experience the universe through myself. these things are only painful to me, in the sense that without myself present, there wouldn't ve anyone in pain. and the world wold continue to exist. "painful" really just means inconvenient. then again, maybe i just havent felt real pain. im a white girl complaining on the internet with fancy words--i know how it sounds. and even then, pain beyond my understanding is just an extreme inconvenience beyond my understanding. it doesnt devalue it though, what was gained and lost from the pain doesnt go away just because it's a pest. thats the opposite of what they do. some people have wasp nests in their brain. some people clean them out, some let them fester--some people have butterflies (how wonderful that must be), ants, spiders--things of an infestive nature. they accumulate over time, its up to you how to handle it. its a responsibility, to live. to ensure to properly treat the environment of infectents. and ive always struggled to care. to give a fuck. i just dont. for whatever reason, on principle, i couldnt be bothered with responsibility. but i am by the suffering it brings. and the eventual suffocation--forget falling figs, i feel like im watching termites devour my future because of my conscious neglect. i cant stand it. and im sure this is a common occurrence. but i dont have a "will to live" i have a will to become, and the only way to do that is to stay alive long enough for me to understand and grow myself into someone worth dying next to. because im unable to become something when i die, thats all i am, dead. and all the blood and tears and trauma that comes with that concept. but in my experience life is full of that anyway, and the only thing that sets apart the "big sleep" is the act of ending life. it just stops. its a given that im agnostic--i wish i believed in a god that loved me, people often seem happier when they have divine love, even if it hurts others--and for me heaven isnt a place i'll find after i die. hell might be, but that doesnt change the fact that the afterlife remains provably defined as a variable. an entity of limitless possibilities, including nothing at all. the only thing thats known for sure is that its not this, its not life. otherwise it wouldn't end so abruptly. so life and death are antithetical and interchangeable; just two different states of existence. its not by any fault of its own that death is so painful; its a function, a process, it will execute its purpose regardless of if it hurts someone or not. unfortunately all things living, including people, are those who deal with the hurt. no one finds the things that hurt them appealing. well, thats a lie. if you know you know. lets say its at the very least impractical; if you want to live, why would you be attracted towards death? what a wonderful question. its a shame i dont have the answer. i have speculations, educated guesses, impulsive thoughts, but its about time i circle back to the point im trying, flimsily, to make; its impossible to live without thinking. without engaging in life. in society. in people. its those things that give us substance; reality is precious because its uncontrollable, daydreams wont ever compare. so maybe the unknown isnt so scary. its different.

[gwaaaaar]

MazM Metamorphosis thoughts

mazm look away im gonna be saying some shit.

SO. I haven't finished the game yet unlike hns which i speedran in 3 days oops. But im getting through it when i do remember.

For starters let's do some positives. I know I'll be getting... pretty negative soon, so I'll at least be nice at first.

Good art! This is one of the first MazM games which maha and crack haven't worked on. I MISS THEM!!! But the new artist, martin isn't half bad at all! I think their art is super charming. They have good shapes and expressions. Something really cool MazM did with the art style was having the metamorphosis episodes translate the irl characters into a sketchier art style to illustrate the fact that its a story. Its really creative and brings some uniqueness to it. The cg cards are in a goregous messy sketchy style thatnreally shows the turmoil in Kafkas heart I love it so much. So not lacking in that department.

Nowwww I don't know how much I can judge historical fiction/rpf. I always function under a basis of as long as its respectful (especially considering it's Kafka... poor dude went through a lot) that it's fine. So far I think its quite alright. The portrayal of emotional abuse is really chilling. Honestly scared the shit outta me... good writing. Ill come back later to this once I'm done.

Nowwwww for my negatives...

You can tell mazm lost half their employees . Adyu (the animator) left the team in janurary. They did all the chibi sprites and live 2d rigging in previous games so all the characters movements are bc of them. If they don't have an animator they can't do the chibi world things they did in previous games. People complained abt mazm games lack of gameplay before but this takes it to a new level. They made do with what they had in a visual novel format but I just don't think it's as engaging as what they had before. Especially considering the fact that we don't have diverging options. Lessa Checkmate is in a similar format but I recall they mentioned it had multiple endings and alternate forms of gameplay involving chess iirc. Which is a fair compromise. But here it just feels a bit empty without extra gameplay. Like. It's ridiculous seeing the Kafka sprite just lie in bed or have a desk in front of him thats like a wide piece of wood. Theyre not animated properly like the Hyde and Seek live 2d. Which is a damn shame! Martin did such a wonderful job on the art and it should have been brought to life by good animations.

I understand MazMs going through reforms and shit rn, but we had it good with jnh/poto/pechka that was PEAK. HNS/pechka was actually on top and while Thy Creature lacked in plot, everything else is really incredibly like the lore and worldbuilding and the characters. If MazM works on dracula, id rather it be a thy creature than a metamorphosis.

[pickledpascal]

Killer Queen

Chapter Two: Walk This Way

Warnings: barely any plot, smut, oral, could be considered a bit non-con but id say its more consensual non-con, the start of some pavloving, slurs

Word Count: 2.9k

Killer Queen Masterlist

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Taking care of Soldier Boy, and housing him, was not what Amber signed up for when Butcher told her about this imaginary weapon. But Ben was powerful, very powerful. Enough to take away the powers of any Supe within distance of his blast. So Amber complied with Butcher's request. She was careful enough not to drive down any populated areas just in case the street cameras caught a glimpse of him. 

"Man, you live in the middle of fucking nowhere." Ben murmured as he slammed the car door shut and took in the house in front of them. 

It wasn't too far away from the city but far enough that Butcher trusted Ben, and Ryan, wouldn't be found. Ryan especially. The house looked plain on the outside, siding painted white with blue roofing, and had two stories. But there were a few surprises inside. 

Amber bit the inside of her cheek. The urge to slam the guy against her car and show him who the boss was bubbled inside her. She refrained with gritted teeth. "Might be good for you, not fucking randos every chance you get." She led Ben inside, checking to see if Eden was home. If she was, Ryan wasn't too far behind. "Eden! Where ya at?" 

"My room!" She heard her friend call back. 

Amber had Ben stay in the living room as she went to go talk to her friend. Which left him with the only option to look around the house. He observed the living room. A flat screen TV donned a wall while framed posters hung on other walls. They looked like movie posters but Ben didn't know any of them. 

After a few minutes, Ben got bored and ventured into other parts of the house. The kitchen was uninteresting. Partly because he didn't care about cooking. So he scaled the stairs and tried to look through a few rooms. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Most were locked until he came to one at the end of the hall.

"Oh, hello," Ben hummed as he entered. Lights were hung up at the edges of the ceiling, there were quite a few shelves hung up, more posters, a desk, and a large bed that sat in the middle of the room. 

But what piqued his interest the most was the porn magazine that rested at the edge of the bed, it was open but faced down to keep its place at a certain page. Ben lifted it to take a look and blinked, heat on his face. He didn't think shit like that affected him anymore. Nonetheless, it did. On the page was a girl, with a strap-on, fucking a guy whose face was incredibly blissed out. 

Ben nearly dropped the magazine when the door behind him slammed closed. "Whatcha got there?" Amber glared at him. 

"Found it." The man tried to be as nonchalant as possible but it wasn't working, Amber could tell how he felt. 

But Amber could care less about that. She snatched the magazine from his hands and threw it on her desk. "Look, I have a few rules I'm gonna need you to follow." Ben rolled his eyes but stayed silent. "A kid lives here and I don't need you being a dick or saying something you shouldn't." Amber took a breath. She was way too worked up and she knew it. Might be best she kicked Ben out of her room after this and did something with her frustration. "Don't be saying slurs and shit, at least not when he's around." 

"God," Ben sighed, shaking his head. "Y'all are a bunch of pussies these days, huh?" In the last few days, he could tell the world was a lot more sensitive than back in his day.

Amber's jaw clenched. Her chest rose and fell with a deep breath. She tried to remind herself that she needed to calm down. "I can take your shit but I don't want this kid growing up to be like you." She stared him down. They were the same height and Ben was physically bigger than her but Amber knew she would be able to hold her own against him, nuclear powers or not. 

That cut Ben a little deeper than expected. So he returned the fire like he always did. "So he could grow up to be like you? A tranny who probably didn't get enough pussy so he decided to get one for himself, huh?" 

Amber let out a breath through her nose and decided fuck it. She grabbed Ben's jaw harshly, causing him to claw at her shoulder to try and get her off him. She didn't budge. Not an inch. Amber grabbed one of his arms and twisted it behind his back. Ben winced. He hadn't felt that kind of hurt in a while. "You think you're funny? Watch your fucking mouth." She whispered into his ear, "Or maybe," Amber glanced down. Ben had quite the hard-on. "Maybe you need a lesson." 

"Fuck you." Ben growled, his nostrils flaring as his other hand grabbed at Amber's arm. 

Amber twisted his arm a little more, making him take in a sharp breath. "Say it again. Tranny. I fucking dare you." Her breath was hot against Ben's ear and he couldn't help the strained noise that escaped his lips. Her brain lit up with a twisted desire. The man was all macho on the outside but he liked this. Not being in control, letting her take the reins. 

"You didn't even cut off your cock, huh?" Ben could feel Amber's crotch against his back as he struggled. "I bet any guy in their right mind wouldn't like that," He accentuated the word. Partly because he wanted to see what would happen if he did. "Tranny." 

That was it. Amber let go of his jaw and slammed Ben against the wall. His cheek was pushed up against it as he struggled to break free. "You like it." She pushed her knee between his legs. He swallowed, not wanting to admit it. "Be a good boy and do what I say and you might be able to form a coherent thought tomorrow." 

"Fuck off." Ben spat. The only response he could come up with.

Amber clicked her tongue, "That's no way to talk to a girl." She kicked the back of his knee, causing him to lose balance so she pushed him onto her bed. "You were looking at my porn for a few seconds too long for you to be disgusted by it. You liked it. You want that don't you?" She bent over him, flush against his ass as she whispered into Ben's ear. "You're lucky I come with the attachment." 

Ben glared at her from the side of his eyes. "I'm not a fucking bitch. You can't–" Amber took off her shirt and suddenly he was speechless. Her hands were removed but he stayed there. On the bed. By choice. 

"Can't what?" Amber grabbed the back of Ben's head by his hair and pulled. He let out an involuntary whimper. "You like me being in charge. I think I could do whatever I wanted with you and you'd like it." 

Ben swallowed thickly. Somehow, Amber figured him out in the matter of being with him for just a few hours. He had been at the top for years, in all senses of the word. And, well, Amber was one of the only women to ever retaliate against that. And had the strength to match. His body responded to that in ways his brain told him it shouldn't. 

Amber retracted her hands and looked down at Ben with a dark glint in her eyes. "Tell me you don't want me and I won't. But if you do, you're going to be mine. And that means every single time you do something wrong, you're gonna face consequences." 

Ben's eyes narrowed a bit at the mention of punishment. A part of him wanted to know what they could be. "Fine." He huffed, sitting up on the bed. 

"Then get on your knees." Amber ordered as she unzipped her pants. Underneath was a pair of plain blue underwear. Ben complied without a second thought. He didn't know why. Just her voice—the way she sounded, he had to listen to her. "That's better." She ran a hand through Ben's dark hair before she gripped it tightly. "You said a few choice words earlier. Hurtful stuff. Which means you don't get what you want. Only good boy's do." Amber slipped her underwear off and shoved her cock in his mouth. 

Ben let out a noise of surprise and tried to push off her but Amber's grip on his head was like a vice. No budging. Her dick was long enough that it made Ben gag but he couldn't move his head and so he was forced to adjust to the feeling of her in his mouth. It took a while. Tears started to form at the edges of his eyes and saliva dripped from his mouth. Ben couldn't remember the last time he cried. He couldn't remember if he cried at all. His brain felt fuzzy and he wasn't sure why. It scared him. And excited him all at the same time. Ben's hands naturally sat behind his back after a while. Amber hadn't even told him. 

"That's a good boy." Amber used her free hand to brush a few strands of hair that fell into Ben's face. "If I let go, are you gonna be a really good boy and suck me off?" She loosened her grip on his hair. Just enough to let him nod. 

Ben looked up at her and nodded. There was an eagerness in his eyes that wasn't there before. So Amber completely loosened her grip as he swallowed, causing a soft sigh to escape her lips. Ben had no practice in this area, at all, but there was that gnat in the back of his head that seemed to know what to do. With its guidance, he started to move his head. His gag reflex seemed to disappear since Amber's cock hit the back of his throat multiple times. 

He loved it. 

He didn't know why. In his right mind, Ben might've been disgusted with himself. Scratch that. He certainly would have been disgusted. But he wasn't. 

Ben loved the noises Amber made. Small huffs of air or light pants escaped her lips. He also loved the power she had over him. The way she could have easily shoved him onto her bed and had her way with him didn't go unnoticed. Instead, Amber chose this. Similar. But different where it counted. Ben, begrudgingly, knew he would have liked that too. 

"Almost there…" Amber breathed, twirling a finger around a few strands of Ben's hair. "You want a taste, right?" 

Ben simply hummed in response, a little too focused on getting her off that he didn't fully register the question and what it meant. And then he felt something shoot down his throat. He pulled off Amber, coughing. Nothing came up since he already swallowed it but the surprise was enough.

Amber looked down at him, amused as she pulled her underwear back up. She tilted Ben's head back up at her with a finger under his chin. "Stand up, sweetheart." Ben pursed his lips as he slowly stood on wobbly legs. She guided him into her bed with a hand on his waist. 

Like a switch, Ben drew in a deep breath. "I can't believe I fucking did that…" That headspace. He didn't know he was capable of going there. Especially with someone like Amber. And, strangely, he didn't mean her extra parts. 

Amber let out a small laugh as she got redressed. "You know I own you now." She whispered. She could picture Aang's disappointed face. 

Ben swallowed at her tone. He did. God, he did. "I'm not… easy." He sat up a little in the bed, bending his knee. Ben wet his lips as he looked up at her. She was standing at her full height and he felt… small. 

"I don't expect you to be." Amber said honestly with an eyebrow cocked. She imagined it strained Ben to be even a little open with her about his feelings. "Unfortunately, you're a product of your time. It's the 21st century, though, so you don't get a fucking pass if you wanna act all pissy anymore." 

Ben stared up at her, jaw clenching and unclenching. He looked away, a scoff escaping his lips before he could even think about it. 

The bed shifted with the added weight of Amber. "You want something." She studied his face. As much as Soldier Boy wanted to hide his emotions, they showed on his face. They usually came out as anger but Amber was quick to see past that. "You want comfort." She hummed. 

In her mind, Amber was screaming at herself to stop whatever was gonna happen next. She knew she was better than this. Better than all of it. She should've just kicked him out of her room and punched a wall or something. But another part of her wanted to see what Ben would do. Apparently he was pretty good at following orders when he wanted to. 

"Eat shit." Ben huffed, crossing his arms. His defense was back up already.

Amber pursed her lips. Soldier Boy had been put through a lot. Perhaps she needed to be the bigger person and take his words with grace. Sometimes. She lifted a hand to his face and he flinched before he felt just how soft her touch was. 

Amber studied Soldier Boy. His posture was rigid and, judging by his reaction to her touch, he hadn't had a good experience with supposedly comforting touch. Whether that was because of his previous life or the Russians she didn't know. But she could tell he wanted it. Badly. It was those 1940s gender norms that told him he couldn't accept it. 

"Look at me." Amber said. Begrudgingly, Ben complied. "If this… thing is going to work, you're gonna need to tell me how you're feeling. No pushing shit down." She wasn't playing around and he knew it. 

Ben let out a breath through his nose as he nodded. "I'm feeling…" He paused. "Like I want to kiss you." 

That wasn't exactly what Amber meant but she wouldn't exactly complain. "Okay." She leaned forward to press their lips together. Ben's lips were rough against hers but he was on ice for forty years so that might've contributed to it. 

Ben lifted a hand to cup Amber's cheek out of instinct, bringing her close with a hand on her shoulder. Amber's lips were gentle, soft and slotted against his perfectly. He didn't know he could feel like this. It scared him. Amber had him under some sort of spell that he didn't want to get out of. It felt like every single emotion he blocked for the past hundred years he'd been alive suddenly bubbled over. Ben didn't register the tears rolling down his cheeks until Amber had pulled away and wiped at his cheekbone with her thumb. 

"I'm… yours, huh?" He swallowed, feeling a tightness in his throat for the first time. 

Amber hummed. "Yeah. Mine." She whispered.

"I-I could," Ben paused, glancing away from Avery with a sniffle. It was taking all this willpower not to completely break down. "I could get used to that." 

Out of pity, Amber wrapped her arms around Ben and hugged him. Just like that, he cried into her shoulder. His earlier anger had dissipated into pure sadness. The person he thought he loved sold him out and hated him. He didn't know what hurt worse. The fact that the Countess despised him or what the Russians did to him all those years. The Countess didn't even get paid to do it. She wanted to get rid of him. Forever. And for what? She died in the end. 

"Shhh, it's alright." Amber cooed, rocking him slightly. "You're alright. You're safe here." The complete truth. It was why Butcher trusted her enough. The safest place on Earth for anyone to be was near Amber. And sometimes she forgot that. 

Ben shook with sobs, clutching onto Avery like a lifeline. "Don't… don't leave me." Everyone did eventually. They either died or left him. No one ever stayed. He blamed himself for that. Ever since he took Compound V, his life had been a rollercoaster. Ups and downs. Mostly downs. 

Abandonment issues were not on Amber's bingo card. PTSD, for sure. A narcissistic personality disorder, yeah. This? Absolutely not.

"I won't," Amber's mind cursed at herself. She was supposed to house Soldier Boy. Not this. She couldn't help it. She had a knack for thinking she could help people. Apparently, Soldier Boy was no different even if he was a major bitch when they first talked. "I won't." She repeated. 

When Ben's tears stopped flowing, he pressed his face into her neck and sighed. She smelled nice. It lulled him to sleep. Though, his emotional outburst did take a lot of energy out of him too. 

Amber rubbed his back and sighed, opting to lay in bed next to Ben. Hopefully, they'd talk a little more in the morning and he wouldn't revert back to his asshole ways. Though, Amber knew it would take a while for him to get her lessons through his thick head. This was a stepping stone. A small one across a lake of problems. 

-----

taglist: @aleemendoza2425-blog

taglist open here !!!

[traaanskimkitsuragi]

games i played for the first time this year that i liked

mass effect legendary edition - technically started this near the end of last year but finished it in january. originally tried it to fill the hole bg3 left in my heart, and while i didnt have quite as much fun with it i still thought all 3 games were really good (despite their issues. of which there were many). liaras romance was lovely and i really loved how interconnected the overall experience felt with so many choices carrying over. i didnt really care for the gameplay but to be fair im not really big on shooters. the highlight was definitely the companions, most of whom i got very attached to. also i wish more rpgs/companion oriented games had something like the citadel dlc (the patched in epilogue party in bg3 filled that same role for me and was just as if not more satisfying).

dragon age origins - beloved. soooo much better than i expected. i was desperate for more stuff like bg3 and mass effect and remembered someone recommending the series to me on reddit forever ago, so i thought id give the games the shot and theyve altered my brain chemistry in irreversible ways. origins is my least favourite out of the first 3, but it was still very good, i loved most of the companions (minus one) and the roleplaying was deeply satisfying, especially with the origin mechanic. i absolutely loathed the gameplay but the writing was so engaging that i kept wanting to play anyway despite that. awakening was also very fun despite how short it was, the companions felt like they had a ton of personality and depth with what little they had to work with playtime wise.

dragon age 2 - my personal favourite of the series, soooooo good. hawke was just so fun to play as, i loved the personality system and the fact that you get given actual family members as major characters with preestablished dynamics with them, i was so invested. the companions were of course wonderful (especially a certain someone. who ive been very normal about ever since) and i loved the passage of time element. the rivalry-friendship system despite its issues is also something i miss still, i wish more games tried more unique approaches to companion relationships like this. and while the story absolutely fell apart in the third act i still think it had the best concepts out of the series.

dragon age inquisition - despite hating the open world aspect and the combat, i still loved this game. i loved the storyline of the inky (especially in trespasser which i thought was fantastic as a whole) and adored the companions. i loved seeing little references to my worldstate and getting to customize little bits of skyhold. also the judgements were very fun.

dredge - i fuckin love fishing games. gorgeous little game with some neat lore and soooo many cool creature designs. i loved the bestiary/pokedex/collection aspect and really enjoyed hunting down all the aberrations. the dlc was okay, just wish both had more content and didnt end so abruptly.

divinity original sin - forgettable companions, bland writing and annoying voice acting, but im still putting it on here for the sandbox-y exploration and the amount of freedom it offers. it was really neat how much the game just let me do whatever i wanted and go wherever i wanted for the most part.

dragon age veilguard - this one im very mixed on. i liked the companions even if they didnt feel as well written or multilayered as the ones from the previous games, and i loved some parts of the story, like everything to do with solas and things like the weisshaupt siege sequence. the exploration was very fun (i loved looking for all the chests), the environments were gorgeous, and while the combat got really boring after a while its still the most fun that ive had with the action the series. i also personally loved the new artstyle, there were so many gorgeous armor sets, the customization options for rook were very really nice (despite being overhyped and startlingly sexist in terms of the options provided). the hardening mechanic i know some people are mixed on but i thought was neat. but despite that, there are also all the retcons, the disrespectful way some returning characters are treated (looking at especially isabela), the incredibly lackluster faction "storylines" (if you can even call some of them that), the companion quests/storylines which as a whole are not great (apart from davrin who i thought was the real standout), the general lack of interesting character conflict and the flat and uninteresting way the game tackles its politics/lore. also the worldstates being thrown out was a real shame. overall i had a ton of fun playing it but the more i thought back on it the worse and worse my opinion of it has gotten over time. putting it here regardless because the good parts were just that good, at least for me.

the forgotten city - a smaller/shorter experience that was really refreshing and fun! i loved the timeloop mechanic, it felt really streamlined in a way that made it so much less tedious than what id have expected, and it was really cool how much freedom it offered in terms of the exploration. despite the large cast everyone was really easy to differentiate/remember thanks to their memorable personalities and the excellent voice acting, and while im a little mixed on the ending twist the ending sequence itself felt very satisfying.

slime rancher - very cute game, the gameplay loop and exploration was very fun (despite some tedium in the middle prior to being able to automate chores), i loved the artstyle and all the designs of the different slimes. achievement hunting for it was quite fun too. i loved getting to optimize my setup to be more efficient. the stamina bar and inventory limit are probably my biggest complaints apart from the aforementioned grindy bits, but thankfully theyre easy to mod out which made the experience much smoother.

divinity original sin 2 - currently still playing through this one but putting it here anyway since im more than halfway through it. definitely an improvement over the previous game in basically every aspect. the writing is better and the companions are more memorable (not quite on bg3 levels in my opinion but theyre likeable enough), and playing as lohse has been really fun, i love all the unique little story touches and interactions it adds. the romance seems more of a side/flavor thing for the most part so far, which isnt a huge deal. it wont become one of my favourites or anything but its fun enough so far.

[meiko3323]

Maxine (Arlefuri kiddo)

finally decided its time to sit down and finish designing her! you may see this is just a sketch, as ive yet to finalize the colour scheme of her outfit, im still weighing my options. split bw black and lavender/ purple for the dominant colour. the former looks cool, but the latter prob fits her motif better. anyway, for now let me tell you a bit more abt her:

----------

Name: Maxine (prefers Max for short)

Pronouns: she/ her

Vision: (undecided)

Weapon: (undecided)

outfit details (in case its hard to read):

- has an arm band on her right arm, gifted to her by her friend [REDACTED]. it has the (teyvatian) letter M embroidered on it, for her first name

- has a side pouch on her belt w some basic first aid stuff and dog treats

- short fingerless gloves on both hands

- has both elbow and knee guards that are in a water drop shape w an X inside

- has a dagger strapped to the top of her left boot

- forgot to note: the center bit on top of her tie is a romaritime flower, to mirror the one on her head

About Max (childhood):

due to Arlecchino often having to be away on Harbinger/ Fatui missions, Max was raised mainly by Furina. that said, Arle does try her best to be there for her daughter, spending time w her whenever shes free, and often brings Max little souvenirs from her travels.

while Max was a baby, Furina took a sabbatical from her directing work to raise her. she instilled in Max an appreciation of the arts, with her skillful reenactments, and puppet shows of various plays and stories. once Max is a bit older, Furina starts taking up jobs again, leaving her child in Neuvillettes care at the Palais Mermonia, and picking her up at the end of the day. Neuvi doesnt mind, as Max is a well-behaved kid and either brings books w her to read, or draws while shes there. Sedene and the other melusines take a shine to her, making sure Max never has a shortage of snacks and tea throughout the day.

About Martin:

Martin is her loyal canine companion. she found him as a puppy, tangled in some fishing nets. of course she begs her parents to take him in, and they acquiesce on the condition that he is her responsibility now. since then Martin never leaves her side, even accompanying her on Hearth missions

About Max (hobbies): Max really likes nature, and ever since she found Martin stuck in nets carelessly left behind by some fishers, she took to cleaning litter in her free time.

----------

i think thats all ive got for now ^^

im a sucker for animal companions, so ofc i had to give her a dog. he is named Martin after my dads german shepherd he had when i was a baby 🐶

Max's redacted friend that gave her the arm band is a future oc im working on cuz yes, shes gonna have friends, two of them in fact! no spoilers as to which genshin couples theyll be kiddos of, but any of yall that know me will probably have some good guesses 😸

still cant believe i went from thinking id never design an oc, to having a whole 3 now

thank you to my entire hoyofam for inspiring me and cheering me on thru this process, yalls fervent support means the world to me 💕

[liefdesleven]

reading gods worst article on tma (Narrating the (Queer) Gothic in the Podcast The Magnus Archives, Maria Juko) and its so bad that its funny. btw this got published in a book (Rethinking Gothic Transgressions of Gender and Sexuality, edited by sarah faber and kerstin-anja münderlein, 2024) and I can only assume the editors didn't listen to tma themselves because good lord what are these takes. come with me as I read this mess

strong start when it claims the entities seek to torture and destroy humanity. patently untrue. we know they have some sentience, but the focus on humanity does a disservice to gerry explicitly saying "you think people are so special its only our fear that counts?". also "destroy". how are you going to get fear if the entirety of humanity is destroyed. we know what the entities wanted (or at least what the web wanted) it is explicitly stated in mag 200. it says so right there so explicitly that I find it impressive if Juko missed it.

calls the beholding the antagonist? if you want to call Any fear the antagonist id go for the web, but even then, antagonist is not the role id ascribe to a lovecraftian entity

"with the podcast’s final season set in a world dominated by the Eye that Jon et al. ultimately overcome to save the world" / "The world comes to depend on [jonmartins] relationship, with the two of them becoming queer heroes." save the world??? heroes?

4. stupidly funny implications. interesting citation for georgie but that's not important right now. the point is the fight against evil and the reading alleging tma says being queer will get you Heroic Powers. Juko's forgetting about the queer characters that get Evil Powers (all of them. all of the powers are evil. that's the point.) did the archivist utilize ace and bi power when he became the lynchpin of the apocalypse and tortured strangers

5. "As a case in point, inclusivity starts at the level of casting: female police officer Basira Hussain is voiced by Frank Voss, who uses they/them pronouns." very true but idk. frank voss and jonny sims are just pals, ill allow Some implications from this but the author is using it to imply more intentional focus on inclusivity then I think jonny was doing

6. "First, the podcast’s main character, the asexual biromantic Jon, is bestowed with supernatural powers, challenging not just heterosexual but all sexual norms of society." BESTOWED? stop using the word bestowed here oh my God. he is not a superhero!! did Juko listen to the entirety of tma without any moral grayness happening here??? also ?? jons bestowed supernatural powers are in no way related to his asexuality & biromanticism??

7. christ. this isnt a bad tma take but it is reminding me why I wanted to quit my literature analysis bachelor

8. did jon utilize ace and bi power when he betrayed martin. did martin utilize gay power when he stabbed jon. jesus christ what do you mean humanity's salvation. the apocalypse isnt fixed at the end by the power of love.

9. i guess? if you felt like it? tma really isn't a queer narrative in my option but I guess?? you could read it like that. if you wanted to. I'm unsure if you should though because these people are deeply unwell

10. "And particularly in the first seasons, Jon and his colleagues often fail to control the evil entities, losing for example colleague Tim at the end of the second season, which leads to a rift between some of the Institute’s members" yeah because truly they were thriving before that. they were the bestest of friends before tim died. they all held hands and danced in circles

11. unsure how much longer i can take this. this isn't the X-Men

12. "[Jon] could be defined as an asexual biromantic who uses his love for Martin as a form of power to save the world." no he couldn't. next

13. "With this in mind, Jon’s exploration of the Archives becomes a metaphor for accepting his (a)sexuality." HUH. NO IT ISNT? jons asexuality isn't relevant narratively At All. go home.

14. for the love of god can anyone hear me. its so dark in here. were the beholding and jonah magnus asexuality allies when they helped jon become an avatar. the sentence after this calls jon the hero of the narrative again btw. patently untrue

15. "Only by accepting his power can Jon save the world." jon didn't save the world.

Juko discusses melanie & georgie but her takes on them are pretty normal and decent in my opinion. if anyone wants a pdf of this horror let me know & ill send it. I'm so annoyed I'm considering writing an email about this. btw it called jonmartin "enemies to lovers" trope and also said their relationship "starts heteronormative and changes to a more equal footing, whilst retaining heteronormative elements". about the gay couple.

to conclude: I don't know which podcast juko listened to about a heroic narrative about queer love that saves the world, but its not the magnus archives. did you know that the eye is an asexuality ally?

[chaosmagetwin]

More Excerpts from that book again

“So?”

I stared down at the woman, shocked. I hadn’t even noticed her until she’d been in my face, dreamy grey eyes drilling into my face with such clarity it made me flinch.

“She’s the one,” the girl said simply. “She’s the captain of the frigate. Here. Take this,” she suddenly pushed something into my hand; I looked at it, confused. “You’ll need it later.” It was a bucket.

“What.” It was hard to hide my confusion. The group had waved at me and Captain Graham.

(The scene would continue with each member of Kiani's group introducing themselves, and presenting themselves as an option for Kiani's mission.)

Captain Grahm

“Dangy, something you are going to learn, something you’ll have to realize…” Grahm started, her tone that of a teacher that I could already feel my eyes rolling, “is that one universe just doesn’t matter. That your life doesn’t matter. That we are all going to die, gaining one more second of time for the multiverse. And that that one second is worth it. That the fraction we grab is worth it. We, collectively, are the more powerful creatures in the multiverse… but that the things outside of it are far more terrifying than us. That we are a drop in the bucket. We are fighting shadows, hoping that it hurts the creatures casting them. And it is worth it. You don’t care about the individual. I’m am telling you that you have to. Because it matters.”

(A random scene, set after something happens where Dangy proves she's kind of a dickhead)

(Near the part of the story where Captain Grahm dies Pyrrhically, saving Dangy's life, and proving the point about Travellers, causing Dangy Samp to realize she needs to step up, and that she needs to be better)

I saw it. My head screamed even as I pulled the triggers, but my shot went wide. It didn’t just look wrong. It looked impossible. Curves and angles and jittering motions that felt like more slithers. It moved like a glitch in a computer. It squirmed in my head like a worm. My every nerve screamed, and despite my vac-suit, I smelled burning bread mixed with sewage. I lost control of my ship and careened outwards, behind an asteroid, but I could still see it. It was in my vision now. Living there in my eyeball like a floater, it’s image dead center. It hit the asteroid and that asteroid burst into fragments. I couldn’t think. It was impossible. It was impossible. I could hear Graham, distantly. He and the other older travellers were organizing. I could hear them straining. They were affected. But not like me. “Dangerous Sample…” the thing cooed. It was inside my thoughts. It felt so familiar. It was what had always been watching. The thing in the edges, that presence id always felt. “You’ve always known I’d find you…” i screamed as I heard its voice, an impossible claxon, my translator failing, the sound of wet nails on chalkboard, slopping screeching that had mated with digital tones. “You always knew you were fated for this moment. That I would devour you, mind, body, and soul. That’s why you could sense us. Because of this moment. Every step you took was one more moment you tried to delay this. Escaping your world. Becoming a pirate. Fighting the Hyvalians. You knew, instinctively, that I would be here.” I was whimpering as blood trickled out of my nose. I could feel the nanites inside me trying to repair the damage. “You… were to be my herald. You could have ushered me in. I would have spared you. But you resisted…”

(Grahm swoops in after this)

(Later, near the end of the story)

I stared at the liberated world down below me. They’d never know I’d been involved in their uprising; the Hyvalian Empire would fall in less than a year. My homeworld, my father, billions of lives, changed for the better. It had been easy. It’d been so easy. All those years as a pirate, all that effort trying to bring down the empire, seemed so wasted, like an artist who had tried to paint something out of their skill level coming back decades later and finding it easy. I realized something, in that moment. I could conquer this universe. I could easily put myself in charge of the rebellion, become their goddess, unstoppable, unkillable. I could rule for millions of years, guide this universe into perfection. I could do that across the multiverse. Conquer dozens, even hundreds of universes. I could ascend myself, become ever more powerful. And it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t matter, because the children of the second would still come. It wouldn’t matter, because who cares about one, or two, or a dozen universes you can rule. Who cares if you rule even hundreds of them? It didn’t matter! In the time it would take to perfect one, I could be saving hundreds of universes. Thousands. I could be stopping the children of the second a thousand times more effectively if I just… moved on. Patched a universe up just enough to make sure the second couldn’t find a crack, and kept going. There were trillions of universes that could use me and the team.

(scene ends here, with this revelation)

[beautyblush62]

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[patheticcreation]

pmd au. i learned how to do readmores yay!

okay you (you my partner i am speaking to you rn sushi) would be a venipede. reason being i associated you with scolipede the longest, poison is a very youcore secondary typing, venipede feels like a 'starterish' pokemon (like how the mystery dungeon games have some options that arent starters sometimes, like shinx, vulpix, skitty, riolu, etc). also because i think itd be the cutest in art. id be a litwick I GUESSSS because its my fave forever. this is under the assumption we never evolve btw i never evolve my mystery dungeon duo. you'd wear your little exploration scarf as a bow like those stupid isopod pictures because venipede looks like a fucking thumb and i dont think anyone would be able to wrap a scarf normally around that thang. also youd like that wouldnt you. you'd be the designated 'partner' pokemon in the way that pmd partners all have adhd and also were always pokemon, born in the pokemon world etc. id take the protagonist role being a former human and whatever but i feel like this would be a pmd plotline where the the partner is the more lore-relevant one (like psmd). like i am just some random human dude who came here on Accident you're the one who has insane plot twists and the audience would cry over. our pmd au would have somehow even More gay tension than the canon ones do your little guy would have the most obvious crush on mine ever. i know humans in the pmd world is a divisive topic and i recently kind of realized humans are like straight up a thing in the pmd world; not a myth or a legend or extinct or anything like that but just straight up existing in the same world. assumedly with trainer culture like the main series games but it's really hard to tell considering nobody in the pmd series Ever mentions that kind of stuff which is probably why it took me until explorers to realize humans DO live in the same world. so because this is an au and i wanna have fun fuck you it takes place in a 'humans have been talked about but are not There, aka extinct/a myth/undiscovered' and my litwick guy specifically is from our earth, aka where the pokemon series is fiction. so with how much of a nerd about it i am they'd try and get a leg up in the world with all their knowledge but fail miserably because theory cant be equated to hands on practice or w/e and your little venipede guy would have to help. except for the first bit at least they'd have some kind of gay dynamic where my little rb-litwick would think hes sooo much better than your bug guy because he came from a world where bug types sucked in a fictional meta. gay little remarks like 'i could fry you right there where you stand bug boy' the inherent homoeroticism of a type advantage etc etc. i don't know what their inevitable rescue/expedition team name would be but considering your naming conventions and the fact I've named my teams: Team Hungry (dx) Team Bad Guys (explorers) Team Losers (gates) and Team gay gang (super) <- that replay was a few years ago and if i had to choose a team name for that game now itd probably be team wimp or weenie or whatever the schoolyard bullies call the prota/partner duo to fit in with the naming conventions of my other games' playthroughs) it probably wouldnt be too serious. theyd do the pmd thing where they move in together instantly at the start of the game. at the halfway point they'd start sleeping in the same bed because of one of their nightmares or whatever from whatever big bad is tormenting them in the plot. if it was a pmd game and had gameplay style like explorers instead of 'sentry duty' occasionally they'd have essentially date nights where you could get character development that would twist the knife further when one of them has to leave at the end of the game. i will add more when i think of more. god this post is so hard to read. god im gay. fuck. fuck. also welcome to my new tag 'funny silly gay faggot au' for specifically my gay lorebuilding shit

[kaiartx]

ive been thinking about my asexuality and aromanticism a lot lately and how it has affected me throughout my life

this is gonna be a long rant so feel free to skip this but i needed to let it out

when i was a child, before i even considered that i might not be straight or knew about asexuality, i used to daydream of finding a husband that was kind enough to understand my desire to not have sex, and if he didnt, then i always thought id need to have an open relationship otherwise id be alone forever. who wants to be in a marrige without sex, right?

and if my husband didnt understand my feelings? then i even made my mind around having to get assaulted regularly just so others would think i was a normal person

the whole world made me believe that i needed to get married, that my only options were men, and that id need to have sex to keep my man happy. of course not doing that would mean id live a miserable and meaningless life!

this thought process was encouraged by my classmates when they bullied me for not having any crushes, and i wasnt socially accepted until i made up a guy

i of course now know that none of that is true, but many allos love to say that ace people dont suffer at all and i think it's important to speak about this stuff so more people can understand us (of course i know everyones experiences are different yadda yadda this is just mine okay shut up)

now onto my aromanticism. ive felt romantic attraction once in my life, so i guess we can say im demi, but thats not the point here. sometimes id like a partner, and i might have one in the future, but its not something im actively seeking. this has been said many times before, but it makes me sad how when someone gets a romantic partner, many times people stop caring as much about friends or prioritizing them. i get why that is, mind you, and i understand it

but yeah, my point is that i cant make plans of moving out and building a life together with friends because sooner or later, they will end up moving in with their partners, and i will, once again, be alone.

of course i can still hang out with them, but its weird how society expects us to build a life with partners and forget about friends. if my friend is in the hospital i cant go see them because its "family members only"

ive come to a point where im planning my life only thinking about myself because absolutely no one else is thinking about me and i will just end up dissapointed otherwise

anyway this is just me rambling. i know other people dont feel like this or have different experiences. i hope someone can relate tho and see they are not alone

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

Am I the only one who is a little sad that the moment Trixie was single she didn't take a second look at Katya and immediately went to the ex? She could've given her a chance. And I wonder how K really feels now that she wants kids. I know she doesn't want them herself, but I'm afraid this will change things between them and I really really hope they don't.

ugh okay first of all: im totally w u and i a 100% see ur point. these have crossed my mind too, and i can easily get to a place where these topics make me sad for a while. but genuinely i dont think we should worry too much abt any of it. at the end all i want is for them to be happy, no matter how that looks like🤝

on a further note, we cant be like *actually* sure abt any of what is going on? like yes it seems pretty clear, and it might as well be exactly as we think it is, its all spelled out, isnt it? its really just that we were the ones who spelled it out, and not T, or any other person who is practicipating in the situation. all im saying is that i wouldnt advise anyone to bet on whats going on w T rn (if for nothing else then just out of respect), and im sure eventually we will hear either a confirmation or a fully different story that will clear things up.

specualtion is free tho, and also pretty interesting, so as long as we keep it kinda hush-hush i think its okay that we entertain ourselves w these anecdotes. like im totally in, and i do think *the* ex is now truly an ex, like that much id even dare to place a bet on. the rest is just questionmarks😭😭😭 like i could see this new guy being actually something, or just a rebound-fling, or just a friend(?). and its also possible that he is the old ex, and then i do have even more questions, but the bar is under a frog's ass after the last guy, so im appriciative towards anyone who is slightly better than him, and it would appear to be a true challenge to be worse than him💀 sooo idk i do believe yall that that guy on the pics is really old KY guy, im just not sure if they r friends or fwb or dating or a secret fourth option? doesnt matter as long as T is okay and having fun. (also, i do think she could have spent some time being single IF she is in a relationship again, but hey, anything is better than how we were around a year ago, no? and as long as a guy doesnt treat her like shit im happy for her!!!) ((and yes. i am really sad miss K got looked over again if thats the case. even if i dont think we will ever get to live in a world they r actually legit dating. in another universe for sure. but in this one? too many hangups. these creatures cant even fucking talk abt the fact that they'd like to hang out more tgthr. like..... be fr😭 they r stooooopid, and thats okay. its sad, its tragic, but its okay, and they have a really special relationship regardless of whether they ever go that far or dont. there is always hope, and even if they fall out now, maybe they need it to break and actually confront the fact that they want to hang out? like there r so many ways for things to go. soooo many. i could sit here and spin this wheel on for hours with no end, i promise. i do think it could have happened in like 2020-2023? maybe even beginning of 24. but as things stand now... eeeh i think it wouldnt be such a clean cut, but they do tend to do things the more complicated way, at least thats how it seems to me. the thing is that they r such complex ppl and they have so many motives that i could make literal lists about what their excuses might be (such as work, but now that T says it doesnt matter that much maybe it changes, or such as age, or what-ifs, or fear of ruining what they have, or thinking that maybe they have missed their chance, new/old confidence issues, mental health states? ...these two...). on the other hand, do we really think K got looked over? Ts literal god? im not so sure, but only time will be able to tell wtf has been going on.))

i see ur concern, and yeah change is fucking scary, especially if such comforting things change. but u see, this could be exactly one of their hangups too. things keep changing no matter what, all we can do is hope they both r okay and happy and nice parts of each other's lives.

i understand that T keeps speaking abt wantimg kids, and sure, pop off! but like, i reaaaally doubt she would be actually having kids this year? like i feel like its maybe a new thing for her to think of having kids as an actual possibility she considers for her future, thus she speaks abt it openly since its one of the things she is interested in now! but like, having a kid is not this quick of a process, even a pregnancy takes 9 months😭😭 and also im pretty sure that her life isnt at a place where she could pick up a kid tomorrow and just go on and be her best self as a parent and i feel like she must be aware of that? T and K would both be at least okay parents, thats for sure!! but like, considering Ts past year... yeah i dont think it will be such a quick happening. once, in a few years, sure! even in 2, why not! but not tomorrow. she'd do fine as a single parent, she'd do fine w a partner, it will be fine, just really not as soon as some ppl r concerned it might be😭 let her just get that birdie first, i think that could be a logical and nice next step!

finally, i really dont think K would have such a problem w children? (even if she did, dont u think shed make an exception for T? im pretty sure she'd do almost anything for/with T.) like she absolutely adores her nephew as far as i know, so im certain she wouldnt delete T's contact info if/when she had a kid. im pretty sure T wouldnt block Ks number either just bc she became a parent, she also seems to know how nice K is to kids despite not necessarily getting them (see: her gifting a lot of money to her nephew's, like, 4th bday? but i could argue that thats a great gift, just more long term great😭). and what if T gets that kid and eventually calls K for help (more likely for herself and not the kid, but this is besides the point), and then K does help, and then they spend even more time together with this newfound excuse, and they realise how well they function as a family, and then they can finally move in together and be lesbians and be disgustingly in love and live happily ever after??? what then???? anyways, my point is that even if they r in a tiny bit of a divitation i highly doubt it would be due to T wanting a kid. i think its more that they both were afraid during T's break that if they reached out more they would annoy the other one, bc "omg what if she needed a break from me too???" (like. T needed a break from her god. and K needed a break from the person who tethers her to this earth. sure jan. emotionally they do have some challenges, thats certain!). and maybe they need to drift a bit apart to then get back together and be even closer (if that is scientifically even possible). things arent as linear and easy as we would like them to be, and since our perspective is and outside one, im pretty sure that from their pov it seems or at least feels sooooo much more complicated. while i just sit on the floor and go "just date ffs its not that hard!!4!4 look back footage of ur faces while u look at eachother!!! thats all u need!!44!", and we r both right! it is very complicated but it could also be manageable. (what i think might be more painful here is if T has the kid w a partner, bc that seems pretty, uh, *certain*, or unchangable, final? obvi its not ***that*** drastic, but it is a bigger deal. so yeah, but i stand by my op that none of this will happen in the blink of an eye, we'll see as it unfolds ig and hope for smth real nice)

[blookmallow]

hello and welcome to the virtual tour of my castle settlement which i have put so many things into the game has blocked me from building any more. i have a whole tiny city going in here. could probably use some updating now that i have more add-ons and therefore more options, but

heres the main shops, everyone say hi nick

i put the vault tec sales guy in charge of the general store (hes slacking off in this picture but its fine) and he seems to be living his best life. he didn't think there was a place for a salesman in this world now and i was like hold on. i have the perfect job

little clinic (there are also science and medical magazines in here)

continue on for more. also let me know if y'all like these id be glad to do more of them but this is definitely my most elaborate settlement

my restaurant. looks really boring now that i look at it though maybe ill mess with it some more. i dont remember if there were remnants of a kitchen in here originally or if i just decided to put a restaurant there, but

the weapon and armor shops (say hi to nick again) (he kept getting in the way, )

i walled off most of these little alcoves and turned them into tiny houses. i gave each of them a color theme because i love a color theme. this one is white house. the vault tec sales guy lives there. it's my favorite one. i don't know why

here we have red house. it's the biggest one bc it's at the end of the hall

theres blue house. i think i have the ability to make blue chairs now but i think the green looks nice with the plants so maybe ill leave it

heres green house. it has a little patio area. i think curie lives in here. i didn't assign anyone to specific beds but i think they auto assign if you didn't set it? bc i always see the vault tec guy in the white house and curie's usually in here. i have no idea where preston sleeps but he lives at the castle when he's not with me too. anyway i need more things for the shelf

i made this one into a bathroom. im just pretending the plumbing works bc i dont want to think too much about the implications otherwise. water fountains work when you build them, so,

i think this was originally some kind of meeting room so i went with it and tried to build off that, it's also where i store extra weapons and grenades and stuff. the npcs love knocking over everything on the table. i never see them do it but it happens constantly

this one is a rec room/bunk house. i dont remember if i ever found a full set of pool balls for that table or not. i know the TVs don't do anything but i like that they can still turn on. maybe one day there'll be something to watch. presumably if video tapes still exist those might work??

the npcs knocked this over and ruined it almost immediately but look at my cute bullet checkers :')

i would Love to see y'alls settlements/stuff you've built/collections of things pls send me if you have them