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felixcosm · 2 months

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Stop saying Trump is definitely going to win, you owe it to all of us to go vote against him.

#donald trump #us politics #stop saying yall are fucked i DONT want to hear it #its not over until its over etc

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katabay · 29 days

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WOW this has been ROUGH in the Life Events category of things, but. slowly crawling out of that. hopefully

this was the opening scene for a something I started writing after watching the Manben inverview with Nishi Keiko and thinking back to all the classic shoujo manga I stayed up reading back in the day, like damn that's so true Urasawa Naoki

it's partially a love letter to all the greats of the genre that I read, and also to the late night teleseryses that captivated me over the years lmao. it'd be nice to find the time to tackle it properly as a comic, but I'm having fun working on it recreationally :)

✨but since it's recreational, some character info✨

the first character seen is lawrence 'law' valenciano (late 30s), the one with the glasses is cris volante (mid-later 20s). law works at a karinderya, cris is an extremely broke university student.

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta / tip jar!

#komiks tag #original tag #there's a bit about how shoujo manga pays a lot of attention to hair and ngl its SO true and such a huge influence on my own art #did not realize it until then but when it came to things like hair i did turn more frequently to CLAMP and etc over any big name shonen #artist. and ofc. im a lifelong CLAMP fan. it was just interesting to listen to in discussion! genres are a language and each conveys #what they need to. ofc you get things like genre convention defying things like x1999 which just kind of. melt your brain a bit #ANYWAY i actually started re reading marmalade boy after this interview which was. idk why that one came to mind first #but you can probably guess where that impacted this story idea lmaoo. i am trying to track down a bunch of gender blender josei #manga i read in highschool. god. remember paradise kiss. damn those visuals were killer

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b33tlejules · 2 months

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best way to get better at art is getting obsessed with something and drawing it over and over and over and over and over again until you want to try new ways of drawing the same thing

#it also helps to have a friend who is also obsessed with what you're interested in #fuel for the fire etc #this is kind of about my recent fhr fixation but its also a callback to how i first started drawing #which was drawing my warrior cats ocs over and over and over again #yes i guess this advice technically counts as 'just practice' but thats boring and nonspecific #draw what you love until you learn to draw it new ways is much better imo #ramblings #art

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cursezoroark · 4 months

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bandanna

#art #oc bracket #mona #mona's first run #pokemon rejuvenation #THIS. TOOK. FOREVER. but its worth it for my character moments.#i don't know how to properly format this so it goes like this so sorry #there probably are errors cause i didn't want to kill my hands over perfectionism. but. eh.#also so sorry if aelita seems ooc. i tried to pinpoint stuff. remembering how she was in ch 8. does she know how to sew? idk.#mona's birthday was somewhere in blacksteeple arc id say. they don't know it until Nancy told them via Crescent via Variya etc etc.#also finally. mona dialogue. yippee. they can talk now. i wonder what to do with that now. i hope it showcases a bit of their personality.#also i hate backgrounds. i feel thats obvious. guh.#i love these two they are the Best friends :D

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months

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boy in silly sitting positions compilation

#cats #I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol #I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh #I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day #so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the #writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird #to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in #it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something #''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way #you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj #Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up #with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just #stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house #in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty #that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn #There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not #even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy #birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public #ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take #anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some #things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like #2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were #playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my #evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas

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faaun · 3 months

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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her #and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that #bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control #AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern #which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have #become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and #then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see #the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then #immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now #hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him #she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women #bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely #fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are #capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the #like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond #or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to #feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe #months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time #its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like #there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she #wouldnt show up and ive been right each time #like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at #them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all #anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it #and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy #and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way #its just AUSHD AUGH #anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore

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volfoss · 2 months

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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.

#twist rambles #vc posting #grooming mention #for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again #to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m #rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn #a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i #wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and #provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery #and we are supposed to root for him #ask to tag #sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is #handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but #didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just #really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han #led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but #u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int #resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways #did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)

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nabaath-areng · 7 months

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I feel so strange thinking about how I considered myself "new" in FFXIV for the longest time, as when I started playing there were so many legacy players around. I saw their mounts and their titles, I talked to them, played with them, and to me they were the experienced ones teaching me how to play my first MMO. For years I considered myself a newbie.

And then, just the other day, I see in the chat of an FC I was invited to on an alt, people talking about having played for a long time, and their longest playing member having been around for 5 years. It hit me just how long of a time that is, and how much longer passed before I'd even realized it.

I ask others if they remember various things from the past, and I can count on one hand the amount of people I meet in recent years who do. So many things I still consider new and flashy, like Gpose and job gauges for instance, have now been in the game far longer than they have not. It's a strange situation caused by me losing about a decade's worth of memories and life (due to mental health issues that practically broke me) as well as the normal feeling ot time passing without me really thinking about it. Less and less did I see the legacy titles and mounts, but I didn't pay much heed. Until one day I suddenly stop and look around, realizing that I haven't seen any legacy players at all for a while. I'm certain they're out there, but most likely not in the same sheer abundance as before.

It's a bit similar to real life, where my home was once just an old, secluded village that have now become geographically closer to the city without ever moving. Where the others I used to surround myself with have all moved on in slow trickles over the years, and where I cannot expect everyone to remember the same things that I do. So many new people everywhere, some that cause lines in the grocery store that can afford to keep running after all these years, and some that fail to load in on my weak little laptop's screen.

It's like I have two homes mirroring each other, and obviously that means I age in both of them. I bought this game as a gift for myself on my 18th birthday... and here I am 10 years later, turning 28 today, and realizing that I'm still here in both places despite everything. Waiting for another expansion all over again, just like when I was staying alive just because I wanted to play Heavensward so bad.

I can't even begin to count just how many people I've known and interacted with throughout the years in this game. There are memories that my years of paranoia and psychosis stole from me (something which I only shook off the last remnants of half a year ago), of people who I know were important to me but who I'm also unable recall much about beyond their names, which is something which fills me with both deep shame and sorrow. Some I remain in touch with to this day, and some I am mutuals with on various sites, even if we don't chat regularly anymore.

There's a lot that I don't remember, or that I even memorized in the first place. Things have changed time and again for both better and worse. But FFXIV has remained a constant throughout it all, even when I've been unsubbed due to lack of a PC and just on a general break.

I don't know what my point is with all of this really, but I guess I just really wanted to get it off my chest. It's not all sunshine and rainbows these days either, but my mental health is better than it's ever been, I have a partner and friends and family who all mean the world to me, and even though some things will forever be less than ideal, I am so so so happy that I didn't give up. Staying alive really was the best decision I ever made ❤️

#pardon my emotional wall of text #that probably looks weird with phrasing etc #im all over the place and sleepy and unmedicated #its just been a Lot lately while playing #some bad (realizing how much has been taken from me due to mental illness)#but also a lot of good (realizing how much better things are now)#anyway i should rest my eyes now oops #good thing im not celebrating with family until tomorrow cause my sleep got fucked LOL #anyway ANOTHER EXPAC TO BE ALIVE FOR YEAAAAAH #idk theyre just like life milestones for me yknow #hw was the main one but the others have functioned similarly

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isneezelikeamouse · 1 year

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I really feel like there’s an interesting way to tie demonism to wh but not in the “THESE PUPPETS ARE LITERALLY DEMONS” way but in the “unfounded satanic panic” way

#welcome home spoilers #wh spoilers #the timelines don’t add up bc satanic panic happened in the 80s #but there is an idea there if we pair it with show sentience theory..#wh characters (Wally mostly? Home too perhaps?) show that they are sentient. show producers let their fear over shadow their reasoning #satanic panic esque pandamonium ensues. puppets are all written off as demons. insert Christian religious trauma metaphor here #in their fear the show’s producers go through with a ritual to exorsize the show’s entire concept from our world #now nobody remembers this show (except the question answerer apparently but well this theory is just a brain exercise really)#previously mentioned characters are still sentient but they are trapped. ideas cannot die. they are forever #they are stuck in stasis for 50 years until the whrp begins. they can finally interact with the outside world again #etc etc July 22nd site update you get the point. whps is a sentient idea & relies on memories (physical or mental) to exert its presence #& gets written off as evil/demonic bc people do not care to truly understand it. there’s an autism metaphor in there somewhere I think #txt #welcome home #welcome home theory #don’t take this too seriously bc this is more of a mental exercise #than a theory. like I’m just fucking around here #lrb

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etapereine · 7 months

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#instead of “everyone in the peloton can tell that tadejonas are pining for each other”#i propose the concept of: tadejonas who are *already together* like full-on established relationship living together part of the time etc #but somehow. no one else in the peloton has figured it out?#and like they didn't MEAN to hide it from people okay it wasn't on purpose #it just started out that way because when they realized they wanted to try it they ALSO realized that sooo much could go wrong #so they were like “we'll keep it pretty quiet until we're sure that whatever this is between us is real and will work out”#and obviously it does work out but when they try to tell people it somehow never seems to go according to plan #like somehow everyone leaves those conversations having completely missed the part where they say they're dating #and instead landed somewhere in the ballpark of “tadejonas are massively crushing on each other we have to help them”#so everyone is CONVINCED that they're pining away for each other and they keep trying to set them up in increasingly wild schemes #and tadejonas are just like. how do we explain to these people who we know and love that we are already in a committed relationship #random ass riders from like. every team tripping over themselves to help out the cause in the NAME OF LOVE and tadejonas are just like 🧍‍♂️#and like they feel kind of bad about it but also its kind of a game now to see how obvious they can be before someone catches on #random rider: jonas i promise tadej is totally into you okay he like. wouldn't shut up about you at XYZ race okay he definitely likes you #jonas (adjusting his scarf to hide the hickeys tadej left and jingling the keys of the house he shares with tadej): if you say so #what if i wrote something

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shadowclownfreak · 2 years

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IHASCUPQUAKE SMP REAL!!!!! IVE BEEN A FAN SINCE 2012 IM GOING APESHIT

#ihascupquake #witchcraftsmp #EVERYONE MOVE OVER THIS IS THE ONLY THING EVER!!!!! THROWING UP ETC ETC ETC #witchcraft smp #WHATS THE TAG?#NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ITS BEEN 10 PLUS YEARS IM #im literally sweating im so fucking exciting idk if ill be able to sleep until this happens

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youweremyridehome · 1 day

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once again in a murderous mood due to the menstrual agonies

#it doesnt happen often but SOMETIMES i will get cramps on-and-off BEFORE i actually get my period #and this time the actual period is A WEEK LATE (no im not pregnant) but i STILL get the cramps #and tmi but i was changing my cup last night and saw a teeenie-tiny bit if blood and was like ughh FINALLY #and i even woke up in the middle of the night due to cramps (FOR THE SECOND NIGHT IN A ROW)#BUT THEN! THIS MORNING! NO BLOOD IN THE CUP #AND EVERY TIME I GET THE BEGINNINGS OF A CRAMP ITS LIKE #'if i dont take pain meds IMMEDIATELY i will be bed-ridden with the pain fpr 6hrs' cause missing that window means meds have no effect #so the FAKE cramps #they START in the same way the real ones do but dont develop into that intolerable all-encompassing lvl 8-10 pain #but i can never KNOW for certain which ones i got until i see that theres actual blood #so ive been taking HIGH doses of pain meds for the past 4 days now 🤪🤪🤪#anyway #i wish they did hysterectomies when patients just like. asked them to.#but also i wish i didnt have only bad experiences with obgyns because every time ive gone i havent received help #but i HAVE been told 'oh the pain is just normal but it CAN be lessened SOMEWHAT after giving birth! :~) '#ok let me just get preggers real quick and then give birth and then dump the baby in a dumpster somewhere i guess #cause i sure as shit dont want one #i feel like perhaps having a growing organism grow inside and draw nutrients/resources from your own organism #and then ripping you open as it exits #is more difficult for a body to handle than the surgical removal of an organ #also the former takes 9months and is followed by a lifetime of commitment or any and all distress coming from putting it up for adoption #and the latter is over within a matter of hours and you never have to worry about periods pregnancies or parenthood ever again #anyway vol 2 #im at my limit etc etc etc #berry talk

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californiaquail · 1 day

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just in case anyone thought i was exaggerating about how stupid my coworkers think i am today one of them told me i could write "turbid which is like the scientific word for cloudy" on a urinalysis sticker. i have a college degree in a science

#god and the worst part is i think theyre partially correct #like i'm not As dumb as they think i am but i am definitely stupider than i used to be and it is driving me completely insane #i genuinely don't know if its the depression or chronic weed use or like i'm just suddenly brain damaged in the last 6 months or so #but it's really really bad. i think it has gotten a little better since starting my current antidepressant but my short term memory is like #unbelievably bad. it was never good but i literally cannot remember anything now. i have to stop thinking about this or i will start crying #my intelligence has always been like one of the things i have a weird complex about due to not getting an education until high school #and being barely socialized etc and it was more or less all i had going for me #and now it's like. ok i got nothing lmao #i don't even think it's covid brain damage because i felt this way before i got covid #although it definitely got worse after getting the job but i think thats a combination of not knowing what i'm doing + being treated like #garbage + sleep deprivation #my therapist who i haven't seen in months because he was stressing me out thought i was smart as hell for some reason. which was flattering #but like i said he was stressing me out. he had too good of a read on me and i can't get over my trust issues with men #“you should go to therapy about that” you might say and you would be right but. well #me

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pasta-pardner · 1 year

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