#its not good to dwell on it
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There is this one very good n very prolific gif making blog who has either blocked me over like 5 years ago or i cant reblog from them for some other reason... And every other day I see their gif sets.. dont notice the blogs name..try to reblog it.. n it doesnt allow me.. and it has been killing me for all those years now...
#YIPEEE A GREAT GIF SET#WHOOPSIE CANT REBLOG IT#RESTARTS INTERNET CONNECTION#OH NO WAIT ITS THEM AGAIN#CRYING#i have a funny feeling they have either blocked me in the times when when my blog got flagged and got the distorted profile pic#OR... there is a chance they were the blog i ONCE took one gif from mad max fury road from and put it into a compillation n didnt credit th#cause it was back when it was still pretty usual to just post gifs all around#that will do it tho#cause gif makings hard#or maybe it was something else#its not good to dwell on it#but damn#i see their gif sets all the time#YEARS
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you are umasou
#I watched it today it was so good#im not big on dinosaur stuff but i like how it was used to approach the predator/prey conversation especially when both sides are sentient#instead of just defaulting to well since predators are meat eaters their actions are automatically immoral so their role in the story#has to match. and then when your characters /are/ meat eaters you just step around that whole topic#heart knows he has to kill and eat so there’s no avoiding it but even he knows he has agency over that#hell he even decided to hunt by himself so umasou doesn’t have to see him kill and eat another dinosaur a day after meeting him#and maybe its because it’s a kids movie but it also doesn’t make a big show over the act of hunting and eating. it doesn’t dwell on it#like yes you can clearly see them ripping into guts minus the graphic details but it doesnt go out of its way to censor it either#its played straight just like hearts mom having more kids like nobody asks who the father is or when that happened cuz it doesn’t matter#what matters is she still loves heart and encourages her kids to greet their big brother and they do!!! it’s sweet#Beckon was also an interesting touch bc they make it clear the only reason he doesnt eat umasou is bc he cant and not that he wouldn’t#but he’s still a funny and interesting character and that doesn’t get in the way of how we see him too much#same for baku he was pretty polite with heart esp from the start when he asks him if hes abandoned implying he would be prepared to#look out for him from the start. and at the end when he decides to spare him. I dont hate him at all hes just intimidating#you are umasou#doodles#I wanted to draw smth more detailed but I couldn’t decide if I wanted to go with the cartoony art style#or smth closer to realistic?? so this is like. some sort of compromise I guess
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This is a pretty good point in the wip to share this, methinks :]
Map part for the hole dwelling map, starring... Not my ocs! I wanted to use ocs, but I don't have any-- so I just used the characters from a fic I was reading at the time 😂
Turns out, the symbolism was so much fun to twist into the 11 seconds I had to work with, I ended up going way more complex than I meant to. If you wanna read the fic this was based on, please do!! And tell the author I said hi! :D
#Hole dwelling map#animation#video#art#Wip#rain world#Artificer#five pebbles#I ofc got the go-ahead from the author on disc. They really enjoyed it yaaay#Fun fact btw- the author is a better artist than I am but doesn't share their art 😭😭😭 I had to personally request to see it#Mood tho#As for the story: it good. me likey. mucho gusto. Basically its a parallel story#So half the story is the distant past and the other half is the distant future. It starts with them being totally disconnected#But by this point- chapter 14 I think?- it's like OOOOH SHIT IT MAKES SENSE NOW#It's personally one of my fav fics and I'm glad I found it :> fr up there with 'taking life as is'#and the other top fic about pebbles getting anxiety attacks over Talking To People /pos#I wasn't kidding about using these characters purely because I was reading the fic when I signed up for the map. My thought process was:#Hey wouldn't it be funny if I just made an entire map part about this random thing? And I was right. It was#OH before I forget. I forgot I left a ref image of the Creature™ in the first shot- that's the authors art :] I'll animate it later#Sure enough I put this in my drafts for like a week lmfao. There's some missing elements and it's scuffed and it's a WIP LOL
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spotify | john marston's revenge quest, set to music from 1960s spaghetti westerns.
Fun detail: the opening cutscene for Red Dead Revolver (2004) features an instrumental version of "His Name Is King". The lyrical version is oddly fitting for John, given that it's a song about seeking vengeance for a dead brother.
#red dead#rdr2#john marston#arthur morgan#pardner playlists#pardner posts#tagging arthur in this bc even tho its a john-centric playlist.. its about the way john grieves arthur#y'all know me !!! im always a sucker for a revenge story!!!#so i cant help but dwell on johns attitude of ~i will throw away my chance at a future because i'm stuck in the past grieving you~#like thats a banger. thats a good revenge story. the ultimate act of devotion is also an ultimate act of betrayal.#this is admittedly a kind of pulpy playlist and im embracing that. im a fan of 'horse opera' westerns and im attaching that to epilogue joh#anyways. all the songs on this playlist were released btwn 1966 - 1971 so its definitely a vintage vibe.#i tried to match that vintage energy with the graphic design. the cover art is screenshots of rdr2 that i've /heavily/ edited in photoshop#i wanted the images to look like those oil and/or acrylic paintings done for old movie posters#it took a lot of filter adjustments and paint-overs to get to this stage. i spent a lot of time on it. (please clap)#i initially wanted john to be wearing arthur's hat for this but . hdkhjdf ran into some difficulties sourcing usable screenshots.#i refuse to accept unmodded epilogue john as canon. i dont know what you think that thing is but that is not my son etc etc.#its jmrp or bust for me#most of the jmrp screengrabs i could turn into a workable composition featured the john hat so i just went with that. unfortunate but mehh#sidenote. plz click for quality bc a lot of the paint texturing in these covers gets lost in the compression#alight yall. have fun with the playlist !! lmk if u end up giving it a listen.#rdr2 spoilers#🤠#art
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Tokucember Day 19: Anniversary
I didn't really know how to interpret this one but uh Kuuga turns 25 next month sooooo old goichi for you today. Ichijo would be turning 51 this year, cute right? In 2025 godai has a smartphone but hasn't quite mastered selfie taking :)
Full pic under the cut:
#kamen rider kuuga#godai yusuke#ichijo kaoru#art#my post#tokucember#some hcs:#i think ichijo would have some bigger noticeable scars from the grongi encounters and dangerous police cases#and then it contrasts with godai who has none because of the amada- *cries*#i also feel like godai would get like tattoos on his travels esp if it was like cultural#but idk if he could like would the amadam just break down the ink or what#thoughts thinking#idk if i 100% ascribe to godai having longer hair and a beard i kinda just wanted to vary up the look. but maybe i dont hate the idea#also i have a lot of thoughts about godai and technology#also ik it looks like ichijo is wearing a suit but its actually a button up and cardigan its 2025 he has more casual clothes by now#i clarify because its important TO ME#but ughh i struggled so hard with this one today and honestly id like redo it if i could but ig one of the good things about tokucember#is like you get one day then just move on dont dwell on it you will make so much art in your life hopefully not everything has to be great
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Why is it so horrifyingly mortifyingly soul baringly awful to try and express that you care about people
#SINCERITY IS GROWING OUT OF MY RIBCAGE LIKE A FUCKING RASPBERRY BUSH AND NO ONE WANTS THE FUCKING FRUITS AND THE BRAMBLES HURT MY CHEST#im normal. im fucking normal#okay yeah so what if i like you and i care about you and i want to hear about your day and i want to hold you and i want to help with stuff#like who cares. whateverrrrr. i dont need to say it and you dont need to hear it and we dont need to get into it at all#back to the neverending irony witty comeback elaborate bit nonchalant grind#even tho we all know its fake? we all know im famously least nonchalant guy ever?? perhaps the most chalant. but lets not dwell on ittttt#youd think if im not good at being nonchalant id at least be good at caring. but youd be WRONG im bad at that one too#my chest hurts
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okay so ages ago on the Bird Hellsite I saw someone make a coat entirely out of worm on a strings so now we have that incredibly cursed mental image right. My question to you is who in the TTA cast would be most likely to wear that thing and why is it Steve?
Oh, I met someone who did that a few years ago! Might have been the same person tbh.
I think a number of the minor characters would happily wear it, but the one most likely to make it would be Ash from the ghost hunting arc. Steve would wear it too, but Adam could make it work.
I had a grudge for years against worm on a string though... It was 2014. Flying across the country with my art class for the final judging of a competition. New York City, baby. Every day was constant activity; always going to a different event, a different activity, a different project...
And the stage was set: A small budget for the ILNY tourist store, two exhausted teenagers, and a misleading ad. The sound was off, and without captions we were left to assume... And we believed if the worms got wet, they would squirm. It made sense why they were $20 with technology like that.
Me and my best friend bought the worm on a string. We named him... Hal. It was all we talked about that day, the anticipation of getting back to the hotel.
Finally we get to our room. I was more excited about this than about being in the top 5 for a contest with a $50,000 prize. We opened the package, deterred by none of the signs, confirmation bias in full force... What's this string? Oh, it must be so they don't squirm away and get lost!
Fools.
Two fools standing over the bathroom sink, Hal in ones hands, and the other turning on the faucet. Nothing. A gentle shake of the lifeless soggy body. Still nothing.
And then the dawning realization: The worm was never gonna squirm around. We were duped.
How could we let that go... For years, I didn't.
I've since developed a fondness. It was never Hal's fault. We were exhausted, not thinking straight, and we blamed him for our own failure. I can only try to make amends... But I truly believe Hal never held resentment in his fuzzy blue heart.
Anyways we got second place and then the next year we won but that's less important.
#asks#whosamawhatsit#always looking for an excuse to tell a silly story lmfao#the competition was for vans. like the shoe company#we made four pairs of shoes into art basically! themed and stuff#hard to explain lol#the second year we did it we actually swept and won 75k for our art department#which was great cause otherwise it for real would have been shut down#we got first which was 50k#and then we also won the skate deck secondary competition for 15k#AND we won the 'local flavor' sub judgement of the top 5#which was 10k. AND!!!!!!!#the shoe i made was made into an actual vans shoe that you could buy for a year#i have a pair of course haha. never worn them duh but#cool competition! super glad i got to do that.#uh. anyways HAHAHHAAH just using this ask as an excuse to tell a story from my life#10 years ago... wow.#ive been having a hard time about my art and it's kind of nice to dwell on this a moment#and remember how far ive come. how lovely to have lived so much and still have so much more to go#enjoy the story lol sorry#NO IM NOT#its a good story. youre WELCOME!!!
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Putting under the cut for those who don't like to read about addiction/recovery stuff here 🫢
A few weeks ago, I was feeling down due to some family troubles that are luckily resolving, so I decided to treat myself to a social event outside of my work.
At the event, someone I had just met offered me one of the worst things I used to be addicted to. Worse than that, I had to look at it for the first time in years.
Before you think to yourself, "but why are you putting yourself in situations where this could happen?" I'm not! This was not a party scene, but a nerdy writing thing. The trouble is other people can sometimes recognize signs in you and will approach you privately at the most unexpected of places.
This was literally a nightmare scenario for me because, for years, I've had bad dreams that something like this would happen, and for whatever reason, I would be unable to refuse.
But, in reality, I immediately refused, left the entire scene, and blocked that person I had just put in my phone. Yes, I felt very bad, panicked, and jittery for the next few days, but now I'm feeling extremely proud of myself.
I walked through one of my darkest nightmares awake and came out still recovered.
#recovery#addiction recovery#addiction#tw addiction#text post#kestal#anyway its my goal in the new year to dwell less on this#close that chapter for good and stop ruminating as much 🩵
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“The Past is Present,” Phases of the Moon Knight (Vol. 1/2024), #3.
Writer: Justina Ireland; Penciler and Inker: Daniel Bayliss; Colorist: Dee Cunniffe; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Phases of the Moon Knight#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Ellie Johnson#Oh okay I see we’re starting off strong based on that sign in the window hahaha#fair warning the following tags touch on political topics so please take everything with a grain of salt (what do I know hahaha)#I just *sigh* I’m not sure if this was intended to be a reference to a current campaign slogan in US politics#or if it was a bit more general but in any case perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised anymore by lionization of the past#but it never passes me by whenever anyone tries to argue that the past was superior (near perfect) and we should dwell on it#Either they’re truly ignorant of the past’s issues or they actually admire them#I’m equally suspicious however anyone who promises an entirely new start#as if any system could ever truly break away from its past and as if we didn’t perpetually have someone peddling a new new deal or frontier#I also find it interesting that this is in a window trying to attract patrons which in a way means its capitalizing off the past/nostalgia#the docents/proprietors in this story are good folk so I’m sure it’s not so underhanded as that but still…#…or maybe this is just an establishing shot to indicate to the reader that this is a post-apocalyptic/hero society#and I’m just being overly sensitive about 6 words in a background shot hahaha#don’t mind op rambling in the tags as per always
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2 things
Voice claims for your self ocs?
You mentioned in the past that sfef would force bad guys to be good. How would they do that? Brainwashing? Plain ol' threats?
hello anon !!!! thx for asking ( ^ )
1. stars voice claim is chris niosi (specifically his voice for reigen arataka from mp100 it fits suspiciously well w how he sounds in my head) n sugars is um. um sr pelo (far from the voice i wouldve expected to fit them but i was rewatching his videos n it suddenly hit me thats exactly how sugar would sound like). ultra doesnt have a voice claim yet 💔
2. thats a rlly good question actually ! ☝️ i have no idea. ive been rlly considering brainwashing as per one of my friends suggestion, considering ik sfef(the main big organization) exercise some levels of brainwashing on their employees, except if it was to convert villains it would definitely be done a lot less subtly and more aggressively if that's the right word. they could also capture villains n force them to do good deeds like it's community service, under constant supervision and limited freedom. idk im open for suggestions its up in the air 👍👍
#when the police ocs need to actually police things n not just be gay n freaky......#ive found myself focusing on their specific character lore n arcs more than the actual technicalities of sfef as a whole#which is good for my autism but bad for the lore#well most of those character arcs r tied directly to sfef but more like how they treat their employees n the general public#not the actual villains theyre supposed to be fighting against#also their ideological beef w wander i love their ideological beef w wander#idk its confusing#but its good to dwell on gets my creative juices flowing n everything 🙏#pbj#woy ocs
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i cannot count the amount of times ive pretended to watch a movie or a series or whatever just to have some connection with a customer at work. im a professional liar
#one customer gave me her email address which was a reference to the silmarillion and i was like oh haha i know that#besties im gonna be honest with you i havent even finished the lord of the rings movies. but she seemed so happy someone got the reference#i love lying!!!!! i love making people smile. i love when people dont suspect im a basement dwelling piece of shit with media taste#so niche its been an active source of jokes for years of my life. even though it isnt even niche#trust me i know what a start trek is. can you leave me a good google review
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Kind of whelmed
#isgh. like i dont try to dwell on it much#but i really am so incredibly envious of people who have good relationship with their parents#i havent had a good relationship or trusted mine since i was thirteen#NC is great its fine im doing great#but mentally theres a part of me that cant get over it its fucking ass lmao#an extremely childlike part of me that really needs an older person to tell me its ok???#i guess?#dont really have anyone like that#so i exist as i am and i hold no love for myself and i hold too many expectations#and im like does this make me happy or accomplished?#idk#not really#not really so why do i have the expectations in the first place#its a disgusting culmination of identity crisis and lack of self esteem/love idk#augh.#i just want to be a little beast#like bog witch turns me into a frog kind of thing id be so happy#maybe#anyway thats dramatic its nothing important#ill put it away and think about it again in like four months time
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dead chat xd
?
#like im still here im still active on main but like#this sideblog is dead if thats what you mean#this isnt a chat?#also this comic finished 7 years ago new hs content dried up 5 years ago i get that it was an important part in your life but like#things change time progresses interests wither and die to allow new interests to flourish and bloom#there is no point in dwelling on the rosy glow of the past as its most significant contribution#is that it has shaped you into who you are now#change is a fundamental part of your existence so dont resist it i know it can be scary and new but thats part of the joy#you will find new content to consume your life you will continue living and sharing and learning and growing because well#you are an entity of change! so keep the pieces that formed you close to your heart but never close it#keep finding new things to accept into it. allow yourself to be molded and shaped and changed#itll be okay i promise ill be right here whenever youre scared okay? its okay to be scared but you are going to be so so special#i love you and good luck
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Covid, foot cut open, seed stuck in tooth, unwell cat, I think oncoming ear infection if the pain in my right ear is anything to go by and all of this in only the first week of 2024. Who's doing it like me? 💪
#we're speed running shit things that could happen#well the good news is tigs has an appointment 8am tomorrow#i cant take him obv my covid tests are still coviding and i actually and genuinely would feel horrible if i gave this to anyone else#but my brothers going to take him before work and he has to stat theor the day but hopefully they can say whats wrong#and hopefully whats wrong isnt anything too bad#sorry for being so negative on your dashes but also like. its not by choice lmao#i was gonna go to sydney this week n everything. oh well just have to wait#and i need to send stuff and get stuff but again. Cant do anything about that now so might as well not dwell on it
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Harlan Ellison's voice acting for A.M. is fucking me up oh my god
(analysis in the tags)
#this is a reminder of how fucking amazing he was at voice acting#the hate monologue is such a good example of this because its been recited 3 times in 3 very different ways#the audiobook having am sounding monotone; robotic; as though he is entirely designed to make people suffer#the video game having am full of unbridled rage; just yearning to inflict the same suffering he experienced onto others#and the radio drama?#FUCK MAN THE RADIO DRAMA#hearing the conversation before the monologue is effective to making him sound more like a tragic figure in that version#it dwells on his inability to feel happiness; love#so the only emotion he can emulate is hate
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Doubling up my sertraline dose for this last trimester and postpartum, on the recommendation of the midwives. I do think I've been feeling the new imbalance over the last few weeks especially. Extra weight and blood volume means that the low starter dose I've been on for years just isn't cutting it anymore. I've been doing so well with my capital-D Depression for the last few years, I sort of forgot what this lack felt like. Today I said to my partner, that even after having a spiritual awakening or whatever the fuck happened to me last summer, I still have to recognize my physical body has this chemical imbalance. The inherited biological wackiness of my brain is not magically fixed by wisdom or meditation or... really much of anything except a re-balancing of chemicals that it fails to produce on its own. I can help that along holistically with diet and other habits to reinforce a healthier hormone balance, but the majority of the weight is pulled by a single tiny pill. It's good to remind myself of this, and to remember to take the damn pills so you can remember why life is worth living???
#it's good that I have years of experience#so that now I can recognize Depression from miles away#before it gets so bad that digging back out is its own mountain to climb#now it's just... “oh the brain is doing the sick thing time to adjust the Medicine”#whether that's literal prescription medication or more sunlight or better food or time with plants and animals... there are many helpers#but the drugs are very important and I must not forget#I'm dwelling on this because with my mental health history I'm rightly paranoid about an extreme postpartum relapse#and I don't want to perpetuate the abuse that was done to me by mentally ill parents#so#a lot of self checking#fred is pregnant
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